Nell looked up from where she had been quietly talking to a sort of dazed and frightened-looking Kokichi to hold up a hand both in greeting and beckon Kaito closer, her soft reassurance of, “Hey, see, your husband’s here now, it’s okay…” probably just the latest in an even, calm string of things like it. 

The day before, a few of the staff had been outside under a little pop-up tent, on stand-by if anything happened during the cleaning. The same set-up was still there, but the med bay was one of the first places the filters had been re-installed and it was clean and safe, so they decided to bring Kokichi there, giving him a more comfortable place to lie down and try to recover. 

Which...honestly was more psychological than anything, but the castle healers were some of the most aware people that Kokichi getting too freaked out could be horribly physical too. 

“You’re doing alright, right Kokichi?” Nell soothingly said, trying to get information across to Kaito too while still helping the prince. “Your head’s alright and I’m sure the ice pack is helping. You’re in a safe place…”

Kokichi, partially reclined on the bed and indeed resting his head on an ice pack, looked over owlishly at Kaito and reached out to him, a look of distress on his face, though his breathing seemed like it was doing everything it could to remain even.

The earlier staff member would have been bewildered by the sudden shift in Kaito’s expression, a sudden ease radiating off of him that, had he not still been slightly sweating and out of breath running up here, might have come across as entirely natural as he laughed softly, “Hey, ‘Kichi.”

Kaito was quick to hurry over to the bed, his expression pleased but soft as he, uncertain if Kokichi should be jostled at all, opted not to sit on the edge of the bed but did lean against the recline, taking Kokichi’s hand with one and putting his other arm above the top, making himself a bit of a wall in Kokichi’s view as he grinned down at him, “Aw, geez… had a bit of a fall, huh? How do you feel babe?” he asked, rubbing his thumb soothingly up and down the back of Kokichi’s hand, “Does your head hurt? Can I steal a kiss?”

As Kaito got closer, Kokichi’s gaze didn’t change and he barely blinked, but when Kaito took his hand he squeezed it tight, his trembling not entirely because of that. He nodded slightly, though didn’t say anything still, so...it was unclear what Kokichi was nodding to. 

(It was the kiss. His head did ache a little, but it wasn’t bad, and after lying on the ice pack for a bit it would probably only be sore if he poked at it.)

Giving Kokichi a sympathetic look--he’d been like this since he woke up, barring the immediate panic when he first opened his eyes again--Nell still spoke in that calm, reassuring voice. “He doesn’t have a concussion, so that’s good. And your heart is nice and strong, Kokichi.”

A bit faster than usual, but...well, he was freaked out. That was normal. And it wasn’t speeding out of control or fluctuating concerningly so… Honestly, what the prince probably just needed was some rest and comforting reassurance. Knowing that the castle would be fully filtered up again by the end of the day was sure to help too.

Okay… his ‘Kichi was not up to talking yet. Got it. Alright…

Kaito’s heart sunk a little at the trembling, but he didn’t let it show on his face, leaning in and placing a chaste kiss at first on the edge of Kokichi’s lips, and then more fully, as he murmured to him softly, “Hey, hear that? My ‘Kichi’s heart is strong. Just like the rest of him. You’re doing so good, babe. Your breathing’s good too. Someone’s learned to control their breathing, huh? All that running’s finally paying off.” Kaito grinned, kissing at Kokichi’s cheek before amending, “Mind you, my ‘Kichi’s always been a quick runner. You ever see Kokichi run, Dr. Pacuvius? You blink and he’s just gone. It’s incredible.”

Kaito thought it might be safe to sit down, based on the lack of concussion, so he sat on the edge of the bed, where the recline began, scooting in a little closer to press against his side a bit, arm still protectively arched around him, before continuing to brag, “And he can climb walls, too. Just finds these handholds and zips right up them! And that was before he started doing actual physical training. Kokichi’s a force to be reckoned with.”

Nell smiled a bit, knowing that Kaito was just beginning to work his magic. “People gossip about your training all the time. Mr. Ainara came in for a wrist-wrap a while ago and spent the entire time lamenting that Wolfrun High’s track team would’ve been top in the country if Kokichi had joined.”

...Kaito was here...things were okay. His husband was nearby and things were safe and Kaito and Nell were just talking about whatever… 

...things were safe...nng…

Kokichi let out an upset little huff of breath before shifting, turning to curl against Kaito’s side, reminiscent of how he’d plastered himself to his partners before Kaito had covered their room vent up.

Kaito lowered his arm, putting his arm over Kokich’s other shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly (and also to not be mistaken as literally anything but his hand moving on him) before starting to rub soothing circles into Kokichi’s back. “...you know, everyone’s been working really hard, the last few days. Lots of your people, all organizing and being incredibly diligent. Even before the kids messed with them, I bet this is the cleanest and clearest the vents could possibly be.”

“The castle’s been cleaned up and down, every square inch wiped down and swept and dusted… the castle’s entirely clear. They’re gonna start moping everywhere once the floors are clear and the vents are closed up, this whole castle’s been deep-cleaned from top to bottom, in every square inch…”

“... when the floors dry? It’d be kinda fun to run up and down them in socks,” Kaito mused.

Kokichi nodded a little, knowing that. It had been a castle-wide effort, every employee and resident rolling up their sleeves to deal with the vents, and deal with them as effectively as possible. He wouldn’t be surprised if, once they were done, the air in the castle would be nearly as fresh as outdoor air for a while. 

Everyone was working hard to clean and fix the vents, to clean up all the crud that fell onto the floor while they were cleaning, and just...do a deep clean while the opportunity was there. Even now, Kokichi could only barely smell that harsh scent of antiseptic, all the various layers of medicines and chemicals cleaned away for a new slate. 

Kokichi slung his free arm around Kaito’s waist, still burying his face in his husband’s chest. “...bet I can beat you in a sock-skate race,” he softly murmured, voice not quite as strong or entirely teasing yet, but...he was getting there. 

“Pfff, you wish. I’ve got the length advantage, I’ll just body slide if it ends up getting close.” Kaito snickered, still rubbing those soothing little circles into Kokichi’s back, looking for the spots where the tension had built up, aching and pinching at his husband’s nerves. “Probably a safe bet we could beat Shuichi. Kids would probably wreck both of us. Think we could succeed in hiding it from them? I think Kimiko would literally glide circles around us.”

“Cheating,” Kokichi chastised, starting to trace light, little nonsense shapes against Kaito’s back. ...it was a lot more fun to imagine the great sock races they could do once the floors dried. There were some nice, long hallways to have a proper race in. 

Sniffling, Kokichi huffed a soft laugh. “Think it’s instinctual for kids… They’ll see the floors and start skating. ‘Specially since they don’t have a cool hideout to spend time in anymore.”

“Oh, god, yeah, I gotta make sure they don’t trade out a new hideout that’s somehow even worse.” Kaito groaned, placing a small little kiss against Kokichi’s head, “I know they go hang out at that pond outside the wall sometimes, Haneda’s told me about that, but you know kids. They want their own little fort somewhere. It’s not enough to just hang out in Tim’s room, noooo.”

Kaito rubbed a few more, listening to Kokichi’s breathing… “How we feeling, babe?” Kaito murmured, “Our room should be clean and good to go, but we can go back to the hotel for another night. Enjoy their weird rain shower thing. If you just want to give it a night, I mean. It’s okay.”

If there was any trouble to get into, the kids would get into it. They would just have to do their best to keep an eye on them and try to keep the worst of the trouble from hitting the kids. “...wish the trees in the yard were a little bigger… Could make ‘em a treehouse…” Kokichi hummed. 

And...he took a breath. Still feeling...off. Even if he was mostly clear, he probably shouldn’t be running around at full-tilt after fainting. But...he was okay. 

“Our room’s okay… Shuu-chan’ll be happy to get our bed back, I think…” Kokichi huffed a laugh. “Or I just don’t want to consider that he’s happier in a bed away from us bein’ all squirmy and clingy.”

Nell was content to fade into the background and let Kokichi focus on Kaito, but she did speak up for one more thing. “If you head up to your room, take the ice pack with you, at least for a little while longer. It’ll help with the soreness later. But...other than that, you two are free to go when you like.”

“I think Shuichi is all big and warm and likes to sprawl out a little,” Kaito confessed, chuckling at his husband a bit, “But when he’s done perma-cuddling with Miya? I bet he’ll become just as much of a leech as you are… I hope.” Kaito laughed, “I’m gonna revel being able to get my arms at least partially around both of you again. When I’m not in luxury in the middle, you both leaning against me… too cute. How’d I get so lucky with two cuties like you?”

Kissing Kokichi’s forehead, he said, “If you want, I can take you up babe.”

Shuuichi was a little like Nini in that way, only that he didn’t need another form of heat to bask on or under. But they were both the type to get somewhere comfortable and claim that area. 

Smiling slightly, Kokichi nodded, shifting his arm to drape over Kaito’s shoulder instead of his side now. “Yes, please.” He could walk, but...Kokichi didn’t really want to be away from Kaito yet. Maybe that was too clingy, but Kokichi craved staying in that safe space and knowing that nothing could touch him.

Kaito grinned, saying, “Alright, lift your head… let me grab that ice pack. Okay… thank you Doctor Pacuvius! We’re gonna head upstairs, thank you so much for your help. Let’s g~oooo, ‘Kichi. Up, up, up.”

Kaito scooped Kokichi up, nestling him against his chest and shoulder, murmuring as he headed out and up, “Let’s go, go, go…” 

He knew he had left his vent half done, but honestly, he suspected someone would finish it behind him. At least, that’s what he was deciding to believe. Kokichi came first. 

They got back into the bedroom, and Kaito supposed Shuichi was still hanging out with Nini in the study. The second the study had been deemed good to go? There he went. 

“Annnnnnd~ home sweet home.” Kaito sighed, setting Kokichi down on the bed and immediately going to go open the window, glancing up at the covered vent and deciding to leave it, for now. “You wanna snuggle with me for a bit babe? We’ve both been working hard all day, wanna chill out a bit? Skirt work? Don’t tell the kids.” Kaito laughed, sitting next to Kokichi and handing him his icepack back.

Kokichi curled around Kaito as much as he could and didn’t even comment on the sing-song chants that Kaito continued up the stairs. It was just...even more of a reminder that Kaito was right there. Right next to him and around him and there with his presence that was bigger than life. His bright, shining star. 

Pouting a bit when Kaito left him to get the window, Kokichi found his eyes darting up to their vent, still covered with Kaito’s shirt. The filters were probably put up around this area, but...they could wait until tonight. His eyes going down, Kokichi could tell that someone had been in to clean--which would explain why the drop sheets were gone--as even the rug beneath their bed and the few smaller ones around the room looked brighter and fluffier.

Clean. Safe. Taken care of. 

Taking the ice pack from Kaito, Kokichi settled it against the back of his head again and gave Kaito a nod. “I had a medical problem--that’s enough of an excuse to get away from work. And taking care of a sick or injured person qualifies someone for time off. We can teach the kids about work contracts if they get sassy about it…”

“Pffff, threatening to lecture contract language as a punishment is way more effective than everything I’ve done so far. They’d hate it. They’d never break another vent again.” Kaito chuckled, taking a moment to kick off his shoes, before thinking about it… “One sec, babe.” Kaito said, tossing his shirt and pants in the hanger, before grabbing some sweatpants and looking himself over.

Clean? No surprises? How was his hair? Hell yeah. Mmmm, he needed to trim his goatee a little, shape it-- Don’t get caught up in the mirror! 

Shaking his head at himself a little, Kaito grabbed a clean undershirt last minute, before settling in next to Kokichi, letting Kokichi pick how they were going to cuddle specifically, mentally prepping for the very real possibility the ice pack would be placed on or next to his skin (thus the reason he had grabbed the shirt.) as he started to play with Kokichi’s hair a little, “If anything hurts, let me know babe.” Kaito murmured. “You’ve had a hectic day…”

Kokichi pouted a bit. “Legal language can be kind of obtuse, since it has to try and account for loopholes, but contracts are meant to be a little easier since people are supposed to know what they’re agreeing to. It’s really important…”

“Though,” he sighed, conceding, “They do tend to go over that kind of stuff in school, so holding a pre-emptive study session with the kids is kind of a punishment, I guess. The kids aren’t always bored when I talk about history and logistics ‘n stuff…”

Sometimes they seemed moderately interested, even, which...admittedly, made Kokichi more excited so he got more in-depth and...by then even the most interested of them started to look a little glazed. 

Well, maybe something he told them about one of these days would come in handy, or would become an interest. 

As Kaito returned to the bed, Kokichi sat up for a moment, holding the ice pack to his head before hesitating and bringing up one of their smaller pillows to buffer between the ice pack and Kaito. Then it was just a matter of scooting in and taking his favorite spot leaning on Kaito’s chest and entangling their legs. 

And now all comfy… Kokichi sighed. “My head was a little sore earlier, but it’s okay now… Apparently I fell right back, but I guess nothing fell that hard. I’m…” He took a breath. “I’m okay…”

“You are.” Kaito agreed, relaxing as Kokichi did, gently running his hand through Kokich’s hair as his other hand rested on the back of Kokichi’s shoulder blades, sometimes running the tips of his fingernails ever so lightly against Kokichi’s skin. “You’re just fine… a few scares all around, but that doesn’t make this a bad day. A small hiccup in a nice day. You’re fine, everything is good, and now we’re going to relax… later? I’m gonna fucking spoil you with things to nibble on. Just don’t start exploiting this loophole. Days of scares like this? Means all the fun things to nibble on, no Kaito scoldings included.”

Kokichi closed his eyes as he relaxed, resting his arm along Kaito’s side and caressing his thigh a bit here and there. Laughing softly, he smirked, “Oh, you are making it tempting now, though… When you usually talk about fun things to eat, it’s usually more vegetables, but if you’re talking about scoldings… It’s like Kai-chan’s trying to entice me.”

“...but that’s not the kind of thing I’d wanna exploit, even for treats,” he hummed, letting the teasing energy fade away. He was quiet for a few more moments after that too. Before… “...it’s a good thing. But I was just...caught off guard. I wasn’t expecting it at all…”

“...we knew there was a chance something like this would happen.” Kaito sighed, closing his eyes, “And you were very brave to keep helping, knowing what could happen. It catching you off guard is totally understandable, we were at the end of the second cleaning day, everything’s smelling like soap and linen… we had thought the worst was behind us.”

And it had been an accident. Kaito almost wanted to say that, but… he suspected Kokichi would look befuddled why Kaito felt the need to specify. Of course it was an accident. But… Kaito worried about people hurting his family on purpose. So… it mattered. That it wasn’t anyone fucking around or being malicious. It had just been an accident.

“And I bet that little crawlers well away from here now.” Kaito grinned, “And if they come back? Guess who’s getting whacked! That crawler don’t know what’s coming!”

...that was true. The day before, Kokichi had been geared up as much as he could, always training his eyes on the safest places he knew to look, just in case. But, today...he’d only worn his dust mask, and only up in the places he’d been told hadn’t had the first round of mopping yet. Today, the vents had been supposed to be empty...even if everyone knew that there was still a chance of some final rounds needing to be done.

He just...hadn’t been careful enough.

Kokichi cringed, not wanting to think about a spider being called a crawler, but it wasn’t enough to work him back up again. Instead, after a few steady breaths, Kokichi murmured something that he and his therapist had tried to work on, even if they both decided that the most Kokichi would likely be able to do was just try and cope better with how his phobias made him feel, rather than trying to stop or divert those feelings at the get-go. 

“...Dr. Egami said that...that they don’t actually like being around people. That the sounds and vibrations of our breathing and hearts are too loud and scary. So...if they have a choice, they probably won’t come near you…”

“Damn right. They should be scared. Gonna whack them.” Kaito grumbled, placing a few kisses against Kokichi’s head as he said, “They give my ‘Kich the heebie-jeebies, so, off they must go.”

“But, again… you did great, babe. It’s scary, what you did. I’d argue you did face your fear, all of yesterday and today… and, like, considering the way your body reacts to that stuff? It was a real risk you were taking. A genuine act of courage. You’re one of the coolest people I know...”

Smiling a bit at the kiss, Kokichi reached up to take Kaito’s hand, bringing it down for a moment so he could kiss at his husband’s wrist before freeing him to go back to hair pets. Kokichi was enjoying those quite a bit. 

...he was facing his fear…

Kokichi sighed, but there was a tint to his cheeks and an upturn in his smile that revealed how much Kaito’s praise meant to him. “I’m not gonna put myself in danger. But...I don’t want so many limitations on my life.”

“...you know in therapy, how I talked about wanting to be present and engaged?” Kokichi asked, opening his eyes to glance up at Kaito, even if he could barely see any of him, and that was only if Kaito was leaning forward. “I...I don’t want to not be around for things because I’m afraid… I don’t want to miss out on things in our kids’ lives because I’m just...fully staying away from anything that might have a chance to scare me. I’m not gonna go see an insect show, but...I want to be able to go camping...that sort of thing.”

“My ‘Kichi is not afraid.” Kaito frowned, opening his eyes and looking up at the ceiling, “He has never, since I’ve known him, let his fears rule him… my ‘Kichi sneaks out in the city alone and approaches strangers, all on his own. He makes friends where he goes because he takes the risk to approach them. I have never known him to let his body, his fears, the people around him… nothing stops him.”

“And… I know your instinct is to explain that I’m wrong. That you did. That you, in your history, hid from lots of things… but Kokichi? Babe, I have never known that part of you. Since the day I’ve met you, you’ve been incredibly brave. No matter the challenge… I have never seen anything keep you down.”

“So yeah.” Kaito chuckled, “I think we could probably handle camping.”

...Kokichi remembered one of the first conversations he and Kaito ever had, even though Kaito doesn’t remember it at all. He knows it had been the poison, the spores, but when Kaito called him a coward, and Kokichi scoffed and peacocked, trying to rile Kaito up and take him off his guard for Maki and Shuuichi to take out… Kokichi remembers clearly having a little laugh to himself because…

...he was a coward. Kokichi ran away from so much in his life, left so many chances by the wayside just...because he was scared. 

And he opened his mouth to tell Kaito that, grumbling when his husband read him like a book. Huffing a laugh as...yeah, they could handle camping. But…

“...I’ve still been a coward around you,” he murmured. “...but I’ve gotten braver. I found the bravery to face the people around me and to accept love. I’ve found the bravery to stand behind what I really believe in, and not just what I thought I should. I’ve found the bravery to be a father…” Kokichi smiled faintly. “...you saw how terrified I was to even imply that I was Tim’s uncle, at the beginning there…”

“...but I want to be even braver. So...at least for a little while, I can be Miya’s hero too. Until she, like every kid, finds out that their parents are human too.”

“She’s going to worship you.” Kaito murmured, entirely certain of it. “She’s gonna see the awe her dad has for her daddy and immediately follow suit. I’m going to be struggling to get her dressed for the day, get her to sit still, eat her vegetables, and then you’re going to walk in and suddenly she’s gonna be a saint. A toddler on her best behavior, cause now Daddy’s watching… I’m certain of it…”

“And yeah, babe, I know you’ve struggled with stuff. I watched you struggle with it. But… basically every time, you just needed a little support. Maybe a push here or there. Once you knew there was a problem? I’ve never seen you dodge it. You’re always improving and testing your limits and trying to be the best you can be. If you ever failed? I’ll argue to the day I die, that you just didn’t have the help you needed to succeed… and we all need help. It’s hard, to do anything alone.”

Kaito had a thousand specific examples of Kokichi being insanely brave, but… he hesitated to bring them up. A lot of those examples weren’t happy memories. Some of those memories made Kaito feel… vengeful and angry. And he didn’t want to ruin Kokichi’s mood by bringing up people better left forgotten. Rotting wherever Dicea had put them. Dickless and missing most of their fingers.

...Good. Fuck them.

Kokichi grinned. At the very least, he hoped one of them was like that for her. They were all going to take care of their daughter, but having a surefire person to put her in a better mood would be like having a way to cheat at life, and an exploit he doubted they’d have qualms using when they had a fussy little girl on their hands. 

...three weeks, then they could meet her. 

(Three weeks and five months to protect her.)

But, from that joy of thinking about Miyako...Kokichi sighed. Rubbing Kaito’s thigh soothingly, a gentle, repetitive motion. “...people are capable of a lot of amazing things if they have the right kind of support…”

He tilted his head back to get a glimpse of Kaito, smiling adoringly up at his husband. “With someone like you in my corner, I feel like I can do anything. And I hope I can support you to do the same.”

Kaito noticed Kokichi shifting and leaned down curiously, before smirking, stealing a kiss as he said, “I am doing everything I want to do. I’ve got my two men, my kids, my baby-mama and best friend… and all of her siblings. Nieces and nephews, I guess, or cousins, or… you get what I’m saying. You guys keep me busy. And I love every second of it… even fixing and cleaning vents. And collecting my husband and his icepacks. And knowing my boyfriend has an abomination probably on top of his stomach right now.”

Kaito shuddered, before stealing another kiss and laying back. “...when do you think we should ask Shuichi to marry us?”

“I’m glad…” Kokichi murmured, and...he really, really was. For so long he knew that...that not Kokichi, but the circumstances around them had taken Kaito’s purpose away. He wasn’t going to be a war general. He wasn’t going to be a king one day. He wasn’t going to hinge his life on Kokichi’s words and ideals. And without goals like those...he knew Kaito had been lost. And it had torn at him.

But through family...he had found a purpose. And Kokichi would support him in living out that purpose in any way he could. 

And Shuuichi was already family. Obviously. But...they could make it known in another way. Express feelings and promises in ways that meant a lot to them. 

Kokichi closed his eyes again. “...I don’t want that question to be stress for him. I don’t want it to feel like an obligation. I’ve already told him that I want to spend my life with him...and he said he tries not to think about the future like that, but...that the days we spend together are ones he loves.”

“...when we start to get our rhythm with Miya...I think I want to look at rings.”

“Aw, hell yeah… gotta get him something simple, but nice. Something subtly gaudy. Like, not gonna draw a bunch of attention to it, but he can be quietly smug about how much his boyfriends love him and wanna spoil him…”

Kaito sighed, “...I gotta pray on some stuff. I know that… you and Shuichi and, hell, Maki even, don’t really think of the afterlife like this but… I hate the idea of you guys going to your trials alone… Maki will find someone she wants to go with, so I… I mean, even when I was little, I’ve been battling with myself about her trials. I asked her, once, when we were teenagers, if she just wanted to quietly get bonded with me. I think she thought I was kidding, but… I was just scared one day she wouldn’t come back from a mission and she’d just be…”

Kaito swallowed, his face conflicted with emotion for a moment, before he sighed, “But… she’ll do it with someone when she’s ready. Or maybe she never will. And… that’s okay. It’s never a punishment. Atua loves us, and he loves her, and it’ll be okay… but I want Shuichi. I want Shuichi to come with us. He might not need me, but I need him. So… I’m gonna ask him to bond with me, and hope Atua doesn’t mind multiple threads. Some say he doesn’t. It's a fringe group, but… I want to believe that too.”

...the idea of...two rings that became one, in the style Kaito was talking about… Something that wouldn’t be in the way, but Shuuichi could draw attention to and have things to talk about…

One day. 

Hopefully he would say yes. 

Kokichi peeked an eye open to look at Kaito before rubbing his leg more. “...that was really incredible of you, Kai-chan. Even though she came back...she’s okay, you being willing to make your bond with her… I know it is, because I know you and Maki-chan, but...that’s an incredible strength of love.”

And as for taking the trials with Shuuichi too… “...you’ve always told me how kind and loving Atua is, even if he doesn’t interfere with life here. But...the trials are his domain, aren’t they? Atua loves you, so...in my uneducated, faithless opinion...he wouldn’t sever the bonds between people you love, even if it’s multiple people.”

Kokichi rubbed a circle into Kaito’s thigh with his thumb. “...if it’s how the ceremony works, I’ll do it for Shuu-chan too. I don’t believe in the afterlife...but on the chance there is? I want Shuu-chan there too. I feel like we’d be so lost without him.”

“Yeah… and, hey,” Kaito grinned, something a little shaky in it, a little painfully hopeful, as he said, “...maybe it’ll even be nice this time? Maybe, like… we could have decorations and people will be there… I know no one else is really atuan, but maybe people would want to celebrate anyway…”

The memory of their bonding ceremony was one of those quiet hurts, for Kaito. He just tried not to think about it too much. The wedding ceremony itself had been incredibly strange and full of pressure and drama and Kaito had been a little lost and confused for all of it, standing in a literal crowd of strangers, totally unaware it had even started… but Kaito didn’t mind that as much. He hadn’t grown up daydreaming about how his wedding ceremony would go. He had grown up daydreaming how his bonding ceremony would go…

...and it had sucked. Like… incredibly sucked. Kokichi’s vow had made his day, and he had loved the opportunity to stick it to everyone else, insisting Kokichi would be successful and a great leader…

But everything else had suuuuuuuucked.

Maybe it’d go better next time. How could it go worse?

Kokichi smiled with calm and serenity and hope, tracing a heart on Kaito’s leg. “I would love that. We could even do it at the temple, and invite our friends and make it really something. Something bright and wonderful and beautiful and...and make the bond between us that much stronger.”

Gently, he nuzzled his head back into the pillow on Kaito’s chest. “And we’ve all made friends since the two of us got married… They might not believe, but I know they’d be elated to celebrate and get to be a part of the three of us getting bonded spiritually. We could make it its own special day, too, instead of having the bonding ceremony and our wedding on the same day.”

“...Shuu-chan might get tired from all the fuss, but...I think they each deserve their own times to shine.”

“...yeah?” Kaito murmured, staring at the ceiling, daring to daydream a little as he murmured, “...that’d be nice…”

Before chuckling. “Shuichi’s going to snark and roll his eyes the entire time, and love every second of it. I’m gonna spoil the shit out of that guy. I know Shuichi’s got some… emotional issues right now, connected to feeling helpless and complacent and stuff, but I really don’t believe laying off the spoiling is the solution. When he goes back to school, is able to go for a full semester, eventually graduate, start his agency...well, it’s in the name, isn’t it? Agency. That and therapy, will give him a sense of being a person again.”

“But me? I just… want to spoil him. Drape him in silks and fill his world with soft, comfortable things… I want that for all of you. I’d spoil Maki if she’d let me. I don’t even know where she is right now… she better come home tonight or at least send me a message.” Kaito huffed, suddenly looking worried and annoyed. “...but anyway, yeah. I’ve got two big jobs. Support you guys in your goals and quests and battles… and then absolutely pamper you when it's break time… and before you say anything, yes, eating vegetables and training in the mornings is part of your goals and does not count towards pampering. I’m totally keeping to my vow fussing at you guys to be healthy.”

Kokichi thought about something Dr. Mariah had said that...they hadn’t really talked about much. About how the insane struggles Shuuichi went through growing up weren’t normal, or things a child should go through, and that the lack of those struggles weren’t being...dependent. There was plenty more to what Shuuichi was going through, but that part…

Kokichi didn’t think about pampering the same way Kaito did, but...he wanted to give his family easier lives. Ones where they didn’t have to fight tooth and nail for the things they needed, be it freedom or respect or love. Safety. Opportunities. It was the kind of life he wanted to provide for all his people, but hearing about the struggles that his family had gone through, he just wanted it all the more for them. 

With those things covered? The limit of what they could do was boundless. 

“I dunno,” Kokichi hummed. “I feel like making sure we’re healthy and taking care of ourselves is a little of both. Because...health is a goal, but...pampering is making someone feel good, and what feels better than being healthy?”

“In the long run, at least,” he groaned, pressing his head back into the ice pack. “I’d be happier immediately eating sweets and sleeping in.”

“Yeah, well, you get to have both today. Tomorrow? No more work for my ‘Kichi today.” Kaito insisted, squeezing him gently into a hug, before huffing a little laugh, “And I can’t even imagine the guilt trip Shuichi will give me if I don’t get fun things to nibble on for him too when he eventually find us in here partying. In fact, I’ll give him a heads up what’s going on and where we are on my way down to the kitchens. Maybe I can make a run to the market… get the kids something too, for a job done well… where is Maki, should I be more worried? No, right?”

Kokichi hummed happily about the hug, feeling pampered already. Feeling okay. More like himself again. Enough that his voice was confident and calm. “They told all of us that things were most likely going to be finished tonight, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s taking until then just to get some time to herself. If she doesn’t come home tonight? Then we can start worrying. Until then...I’m just going to look forward to the stories she’s gonna bring.”

Kokichi smirked a little. “Shuu-chan said his guess was that she was planning on sleeping outside last night.”

“Well, so long as she’s okay… gonna gripe at her if she makes me go looking.” Kaito grumbled. “She makes it real hard to dote on her, I swear. Just… hold still long enough to let me take care of you, dammit.”

Rolling his eyes a little, Kaito sighed… before his eyes suddenly widened.

“...S~oooooo… ‘Kichi… totally random question. Don’t even know what made me think of it. Right off the top of my head… ya ever have to like…” Kaito grinned, eyes practically sparkling, “Turn down a suitor or two?”

Kokichi nodded, agreeing with Kaito. Kaito had been caring for her their entire friendship, but it was never easy, either from their situation or Maki herself. But...at least for Kokichi’s own decision...he could make her know that there was always room at home for her. Somewhere safe and comfortable where she’d be wanted and loved. And...then she could take refuge in that space on her own terms. 

Feeling calm and comfortable, Kokichi opened an eye in confusion before looking up at Kaito, not feeling like it was really off the top of Kaito’s head, but...not knowing where on earth he could’ve gotten the idea for that. “Uh...I mean, I’ve shaken off people’s advances...I guess, but I wouldn’t really call them suitors. Or that it was really flirting…”

Okay, but like… what did Kokichi consider flirting!? Kaito’s own flirting attempts weren’t exactly subtle. Would Kokichi know if he was being flirted with by someone going a more subdued route? There was no way no one else had ever been attracted to Kokichi, he was ethereal…

“Okay, but like… so wait.” Kaito frowned, “You have been advanced at, but not flirted with? How do you make a pass at someone without flirting? Even if its like… terrible flirting.”

Kokichi sighed, opening his eyes just a little though the tiredness in them was apparent. “I don’t consider harassment flirting…”

“Like...creeps right out of high school trying to get an ego boost over someone they thought was in middle school? Or someone making dumb comments over how short my shorts are… That’s not flirting, that’s just being an asshole. And cutting it close to being a paedophile in the first case.”

Kaito pouted a little at that, “Oh. Creepers. Got it… yeah that’s less fun. Not really what I was talking about… no one ever, like… made conversation, or asked you on a date, or got all goofy and flustered and shy on you? I feel like you’d have made my head spin, if, ya know… I mean, you know. Different circumstances.” Kaito sighed.

“Oh, well…” Kokichi scratched his cheek a little. “...no one ever asked me on a date, but… Most of the time, when I got into situations like that, I was the one who initiated it. I’d see some cute guy, try to talk a little, and sometimes it was kinda nice...but nothing more than that ever happened. A lot of the time, I never saw those people again, though it could just be that they looked different.”

“Awwwww…” Kaito grinned, imagining his ‘Kichi trying to flirt. He bet his husband… well, actually? He couldn’t really imagine. He actually somewhat suspected Kokichi’s attempts at flirting had probably seemed a little erratic and disjointed, the adrenaline rush of trying being a little too much for Kokichi to handle in the moment. Which could be both bewildering to listen to and sometimes absolutely adorable. Kaito had plenty of people try to flirt with him, only to act like little nutcases cause they were flustered and overcompensating.

But then… Kaito couldn’t actually know, and considering his responses already, he had a feeling Kokichi wouldn’t be able to explain. Ah well.

Though… he snickered. “...ever pull the good ol’ ‘compliment and RUN’ move?”

Those were sure some...awkward times. Kokichi had known his future was tied to someone that would help him make the country even better, but while he felt weird about trying to start a relationship he knew would probably have to end--not to mention that he felt like things would be strained if they found out who he actually was--Kokichi couldn’t help but seek out his attraction. 

Letting out a puff of air in a laugh, Kokichi threw one of his arms over his eyes. “Pffff, yeah. Complimenting someone on some weird trick they did to impress their friends, or telling someone that their outfit was nice, just to hustle away… It seems so daunting in the moment, even if it’s something so small. Either it’ll start a conversation, or they’ll say thanks and continue on with their day. There’s nothing to be gained by running away, though it sure feels like it.”

“It’s not very nice, but the runners made my day. Every time.” Kaito chuckled, literally beaming as he indulged in those memories, “It was so strange. And cute. And very flattering. Sometimes I’d wait to see if they’d get the courage to come back. Only one ever did. He was so sweet. It was brave of him to try again.”

Kaito had definitely rewarded him for the effort. He realized literally the next day the guy had literally never gotten around to giving him his name. He was so nervous and flustered.

“I always assumed it was a fight or flight response hitting people last second.” Kaito mused, “You go up to someone with totally innocent intentions, you wanna introduce yourself and pay them a compliment, hope something comes to it… and the second you get the words out? Or make eye contact. Panic. The runners are cute, but I’ve had people get weirdly aggressive when they’re flirting with me too. Might be the fight instinct? It’d be like they’re already pissed at me turning them down before they ever even asked. Those people sucked, I’d take a runner any day over them.”

Kaito’s eyes suddenly widened, “We should pretend we don’t know each other one night.”

Well...it was nice to get random compliments (true compliments, and not just more harassment) in public. It was an incredible confidence boost. But there was an easy difference between someone off on errands but wanting to call out to you with a thumbs up, and a flirty runner. 

Typically...just from the panic Kaito described. People rushing through the interaction and fleeing as soon as they could to not be seen as weird, even if doing that was a little weird. But...in general, it was a nice kind of weird. 

Humming with a nod--he’d prefer runners over people angrily flirting (not necessarily aggressively, though Kokichi figured he wouldn’t handle that very well either)--he moved his arm off his eyes to, again, glance up with confusion. “What? Why? I think it would just unnerve people to see us acting like strangers. We’re not always faces in a crowd out here…”

“No no no no, like…” Kaito put his hand in the air, waving it around vaguely, like he was painting a picture in the air… like not a great picture, but a stick figure picture, and it was passing well enough as he grinned, “Like it’d be cute! You go to a bar or something, and I’ll come in, and it’ll be like ‘oh, hello stranger, can I buy you a drink’, and we can flirt and… like, just play-act a not entirely weird first meeting!”

“I can put on the moves, and you can giggle and look at me like I’m an idiot, but a hot idiot so, ya know, maybe you’ll give me a chance, and I can ask you what you do for a living and, oh my god, you’re the prince? That’s soooooo cool and impressive! Tell me all about it! And, and…” Kaito lost steam all at once, suddenly sighing and letting his arm fall back down, “...well, maybe not all that. You’re right, if people recognize us and think something weird is going on, that’d be… it’s a nice daydream. Maybe we can do one of our story games with it sometime…”

“...I just wish things had been a little normal for us, sometimes.” Kaito admitted, shrugging. “Less… well, you know.”

As Kaito painted his picture--and even without technical skill, it was beautiful and artistic and Kokichi loved it--Kokichi’s mouth fell into a little “O” shape as he got the idea, starting to sink into that fantasy too. Just...the two of them getting to be young adults out on the dating field…

Kokichi sighed. 

“For me...it wouldn’t even have to be normal. Even just a little less...how it was.”

“...but we did get something really wonderful out of it, all the same…” Kokichi shifted, looking up at Kaito more. And getting annoyed when he still couldn’t really see Kaito so...it had been enough time, right? Sitting up slightly, Kokichi tugged the pillow and ice pack to the side and scooted up, properly cuddling against Kaito. Even if the back of his head was pretty chilly. 

“...I think that would be pretty fun. If we go somewhere busy, get a little booth in the corner or something… We’d have to break it if people came up to us, but...we could do something like that, still. Just for us.”

“Yeah? Not too silly?” Kaito grinned, putting his arms around Kokichi and holding him close now that he was all snuggled in, “I think it could be fun… it’s a date then. Eventually. We’ll find time.”

“...I love you, Kokichi.” Kaito said softly.

“I think it could be fun even over coffee and tea in the morning when we’re watching Miya,” Kokichi said softly, aware of how much the flow of their lives was going to change. “But one day I’d like to try it on a date.”

Turning slightly, Kokichi placed a kiss right at the top of Kaito’s chest where the collar of his shirt started. “I love you too, Kai-chan.”

-

It was a bit of time later, and at some point, Shuichi had taken up cuddle duty while Kaito went to go run errands.

“Fainting sucks.” Shuichi murmured, nuzzling his head against Kokichi’s as he held him, “I wish someone had told me, I would have come visit you while you were in the medbay. You’re gonna have a nasty bump on your head tomorrow.”

Kokichi sighed contently, pleased with Shuuichi’s own form of pampering. He pressed a light kiss to Shuuichi’s cheek and gave him a gentle grin. “I wasn’t there for too long, and I’m happy you’re here now. And I hope I don’t...I iced it for, like, almost an hour, and Dr. Pacuvius said that it should help. Just don’t headbutt me or anything, ‘kay?” Kokichi giggled. 

“...I can ask if people wouldn’t mind letting you know too if something like this happens,” Kokichi softly offered, knowing how much that genuinely bothered his boyfriend. “I think if something more serious happened, they would, but I know you’d wanna be there anyway.”

Pressing his head into a pillow--Kokichi tried not to lay on top of Shuuichi so much these days since it got really uncomfortable for the guy--Kokichi colored slightly. “...it was a little embarrassing, when I woke back up. Shuu-chan’s teasing would send me right under the covers.”

“Teasing? Who teases? I am entirely sympathetic.” Shuichi said, gently kissing Kokichi’s cheek before settling into his own pillow, “On that note: we should tell Kaito you have amnesia when he gets back.”

Kokichi snorted, finding that entirely appealing, but… “Shuu-chan…” Kokichi giggled, bopping his nose against Shuuichi’s nose--it was like they were playing a weird game of tennis with how they’d both been leaning forward to touch each other like that the entire time--and giving his boyfriend a soft smile. “He’s getting us snacks. Said he wanted to pamper me today, and he knew you’d complain if he didn’t get any for you too, so you’re getting some.”

“Dinner and a show,” Shuichi said, entirely without mercy, “We can say it's partial amnesia. You inexplicably can’t remember ever having sex with him. Only me. Maybe he’ll cry. Or maybe he’ll get real caught up in the idea of ‘reintroducing’ himself to you. Either way… dinner and a show.”

Kokichi just snickered more, awfully tempted to follow through on that. “Oh no...he’ll get excited but then hold himself back ‘cause he doesn’t wanna hurt my head… Aw, Kai-chan…”

Rolling his eyes, Kokichi shifted, stroking his arm down Shuuichi’s side. “You’re devious sometimes, you know. If Miya somehow gets both of our sneaky snide sides, we’re doomed. My penchant for prank-based chaos with your planning skills, your attitude puppet strings with my acting skills...doomed.”

“I am never devious, I am sweet and shy and gentle in everything I do.” Shuichi sighed, enjoying the strokes. “Hopefully she just doesn’t have a mean streak. It’s not something I recognized in myself throughout my life, but I do have one. I guess when I was comparing myself to assassins and nobles and people trying to contend with assassins and nobles, I seemed very soft. But, well…”

Shuichi laughed lightly, “Turns out I’m a little mean. I suppose it’s a good thing to recognize in yourself.”

There was a knock at the door, “Guys! I have bags! I can’t get to my key, can you unlock the door?”

“Suffer.” Shuichi called back.

Sometimes it was all about context. What the world was like compared to yourself. And compared to the dangerous, cut-throat world Shuuichi had grown up in, he was practically a marshmallow. But he’d honed his claws, hidden away for when he needed them - Or, actually...perfecting an intense venom, there but harmless unless provoked. But...well, he had all that venom and nowhere to put it so…

...ugh, bad metaphors. 

But...Shuuichi was a bit of a sneak, and he enjoyed watching people squirm. It wasn’t a huge hobby or anything, so… 

Kokichi kissed his boyfriend. “I like it. And I know Kai-chan really likes it.”

Looking over at the door as Kaito called through, Kokichi snorted at Shuuichi’s complete lack of even tempting getting up. Taking at least a little pity on his husband, Kokichi got up out of bed and unlocked the door, holding it open just a little to look up at Kaito with confusion. 

“Hey, you know this guy? Shuuichi, you said the only person coming by would be my husband--amnesia or not, I think I’d remember banging this stud.”

“...” Kaito blinked in confusion, before suddenly shouting, “AMNESIA!?”

Shuichi snorted into his pillow, giving Kokichi an almost giddy, amused look. While outside, Kaito looked his husband up and down nervously, sorta pushing his way in and placing down his bags on the floor, before gently taking Kokichi’s head in his hands and starting to part his hair, looking for the injury as he said, “Babe, don’t worry! Everything’s going to be okay! We’re going to fix this! My-name-is-Kaito!”

He said this last sentence a tad too slow and too loud. Shuichi snorted on the bed, “Kaito, he’s got amnesia, not hearing loss.”

Kaito squinted at Shuichi suspiciously, before saying, “This joke’s gonna be a lot less funny if our ‘Kichi actually has amnesia and this is how you’re treating it.”

Kokichi’s shoulders bounced as he laughed, something...almost off-puttingly more like a ‘ha-ha’ than his usual braying giggles. “Kaito, Kaito, I’m fine--Shuuichi and I were just trying to mess with you. I know who you are.”

Gently taking Kaito’s hands into his own, Kokichi squeezed them gently...but didn’t kiss them. He just...smiled brightly and with friendliness up at Kaito before peering over at the bags Kaito had set down. “Hey, hey, what did you get? I’m curious.”

Kaito’s brow furrowed uncertainly, suddenly really unsure of the vibe. There was no way Shuichi wouldn’t have taken Kokichi to the medbay if he was actually missing memories. So… ha ha? Joke’s over?

“Ummmm, oh, uh, let me take everything out and set it up, babe.” Kaito grinned, sorting through the bags and taking out some pans, along with smaller containers of toppings. “We’ve got cheesecake! We’ve got tarts! We’ve got… okay, it was called Neapolitan pie, I don’t know what’s in it, but the inside has all these cool colors and it seemed really fancy so! Hopefully it’s great! And I got whip cream and nuts and chocolates and some vanilla ice cream to put on top with all of that if you want too!”

“Nice… what’d you get the kids?” Shuichi asked, sitting up.

“More icecream and toppings. They seemed happy with it.” Kaito grinned.

There was just a split second moment where Kokichi’s eyes widened and glittered with delight as he looked at all the treats Kaito had gotten, but it was a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moment. Instead, Kokichi’s expression remained bright and happy, but not very excited as he came a little closer to look over the treats. 

“Wow, this is quite the spread. I look forward to trying them out! Of course,” Kokichi laughed, still disturbingly generic and calm, rather than his usual bouncing joy that came right from deep in his chest, “Saving room for dinner. Even during a rest day, we shouldn’t ruin our appetites.”

Turning slightly, Kokichi gave Shuuichi a kind, calm smile. “What would you like, Shuuichi? I can serve it up for you.”

Shuichi wanted to smirk, but at the same time didn’t want to give Kokichi away. His boyfriend was committing to something. Shuichi was going to stay out of it and enjoy the show as he smiled softly, “Thank you, Kokichi. And thanks for getting them, Kaito.”

“Uh…. yeah? Yeah! Uhhhh…” Kaito frowned at Kokichi, before saying, “Hey, come here babe.”

Kaito gently took Kokichi’s elbows, turning him around and after a moment, placing the back of his hand on Kokichi’s forehead, “Ummm… you, uh, you feeling alright babe? Do you have a headache or…?”

“What do you mean, Kaito?” Shuichi asked, despite himself, looking up curiously at them, “Kokichi looks fine to me.”

Kokichi came close to Kaito without fuss, though the smile he gave his husband was gently exasperated, the kind of smile you’d give when you were indulging a notorious worrywort. “I’m fine, Kaito. Shuuichi has warned me I’ll probably have a bump on my head tomorrow, but for the moment, I’m doing well. You were so kind to go out and get us some desserts, so I’m excited to have a slice of something.”

“Though,” he said, expression not growing solemn, but not smiling, “Anyone who wants ice cream should probably have a scoop first thing so we can take it down to the kitchen freezer. We shouldn’t leave it to melt and make a mess.”

“Umm… yeah! Okay, we’ll have the ice cream first!” Kaito said, grinning uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck uncertainly. Stepping back, he went to grab the the bag of bowls and utensils he had brought, bringing them to Shuichi and Kokichi, before saying, “Uh, and, while you guys work through some ice cream… water! You… you should definitely have some water.”

Kaito murmured this half to himself, grabbing an empty glass from the desk and going over to the bathroom, filling it up with water and bringing it out to Kokichi, “Here, drink this.”

“No water for me, Kaito?” Shuichi asked, looking hurt.

Kaito rushed back to the bathroom.

As Shuichi watched him go, he smirked at Kokichi, “Where are you going with this?” he whispered.

Kokichi nodded dutifully and started scooping up bowls of ice cream for Shuuichi...and himself, because while he was sticking with the bit!! He didn’t want to let it keep him from indulging on all the treats Kaito bought. Honestly...it was a ton! It was super sweet of Kaito, though Kokichi had a feeling that he was going to stop them from gorging themselves, just like at the party they had for brainstorming Miya’s name. 

Bringing Shuuichi the bowl--doctored up with the assorted toppings Kaito had gotten--Kokichi settled himself beside him and took the glass of water with a sweet smile, taking measured, unhurried sips. 

“...I have no idea,” Kokichi murmured back, that placid smile breaking into something mischievous. “I was hoping to get to the ‘I don’t remember sex’ thing, but Kai-chan just seems concerned. Should I pull it back?”

Shuichi snorted, “Oh no, really? No, I think you should-” Shuichi looked up as Kaito came out, scooted in, and said quietly and quickly, “Go-real-obnoxious-with-it.” 

And then he took Kokichi’s hand, placed it on his neck, and drew Kokichi in for a really deep, long kiss.

As Kaito got up to the bed, holding the glass and looking curiously at his men, Shuichi broke the kiss with a small, startled gasp. “Wow. Kokichi… what’s gotten into you?” he asked, not looking displeased, but clearly startled.

Kaito’s eyebrows shot up, a hot flush running through him purely because that kiss looked sexy as fuck, but also, “Uh… everything alright?”

Shuichi looked flustered, lowering his cap demurely, “Everything’s fine. Just a… passionate kiss. Took me off guard.”

Good ol’ Shuuichi, always opting to mess with Kaito. Kokichi should’ve guessed. But he had to remember that Shuuichi was sneaky, and definitely not above messing with him too. 

Kokichi’s eyes widened for a moment, a little startled and flustered by the kiss but relaxing into it soon enough, kissing Shuuichi back just in time to really sell it before Shuuichi broke it off, leaving them both breathing a little heavily. 

In turn, though, when Kaito questioned what was going on, Kokichi looked between them, a little lost and confused. “...I thought… That’s what people in relationships do all the time, right?”

“...uh…” Now Kaito was totally lost. “...you ‘thought’? Okay, seriously, did you drink your water? Here, Shuichi.” Kaito said, passing his boyfriend the glass, before going back to Kokichi, taking his face in his hands and turning it this way, that way, “...damn it, I never know what Maki’s looking for when she does this.” Kaito admitted, frowning.

“I don’t understand why you’re fussing so much, Kaito. That is what a lot of couples do.” Shuichi huffed, indulging in his ice cream. Mmmmm… “You kiss us like that all the time.”

Kaito gave Shuichi a somewhat bewildered look, “Well, sure, but… the way he said it… it is me? Am I being weird here?” Kaito asked, looking almost sheepishly down at Kokichi, “... can I get a kiss, then?”

...Kokichi was starting to feel a little bad now. This was just joking around, and he was sure Shuuichi would tell him if he was taking it too far, but…

...he remembered all too vividly how it felt, like the world was flung from beneath his feet, when he realized he’d gaslit Kaito. Kokichi never wanted to manipulate his husband like that again. 

A little longer. See if they could get something fun out of this for all of them, then stop and laugh about it together. 

Taking a little breath, like he was pumping himself up, Kokichi nodded at Kaito. “Of course! You’re my husband, so you get kisses all the time.” And he leaned in, at first just pressing their lips together, but then starting to graze at Kaito’s lower lip, requesting access, and following up with his tongue.

Shuichi smirked, raising an eyebrow at that. Kokichi’s act was pretty obvious when you knew what was up, but he watched Kaito’s eyes light up with interest, and thought this might not work out how his boyfriend was hoping. There was no way Kaito wouldn’t be totally distracted by Kokichi being all sweet and sexy and--

Kaito leaned into the kiss, relaxing against it… god, he loved when Kokichi initiated, fuck his husband was so…’you’re my husband?’... 

...before breaking the kiss, leaning back and giving Kokichi a mildly concerned look, “...babe, you know you never have to indulge me, right?”

...alright, time to end it. 

Before Kaito could pull back all the back, Kokichi surged forward to give him a little peck. He then reached up to cup Kaito’s face, and there was a soft apology in Kokichi’s eyes. “I was messing with you, Kai-chan, but even joking around, I wasn’t gonna joke about that. I more meant...you’re my husband, so you’re the person I wanna kiss a lot! Because I love you.”

Snickering more in his usual way, Kokichi turned back to grin at Shuuichi. “Told you--it’s a miracle our pranking prowess is divided. If someone had both, they’d be unstoppable.”

“Now…” Kokichi’s eyes gleamed as he picked his bowl of ice cream back up, practically vibrating with his usual eagerness to devour sweets. “That pie seems really cool!! I’m definitely gonna go for it next--thanks, Kai-chan!!”

“Dammit, I knew you two were fucking with me!” Kaito pouted, rubbing the back of his neck, “I even played along too!”

“Booooo, it was going great!” Shuichi also pouted, before looking purposefully innocent as Kaito gave him a dirty look, “What? You got a very nice kiss out of it.”

“... I did get a very nice kiss out of it.” Kaito conceded, grinning as he sat down at the bed, “What exactly was the prank? Amnesia?”

“Kokichi was trying to get you to think he didn’t remember you two ever having sex.” Shuichi smirked, taking a piece of tart, putting some whip cream on it, “And I was hoping to get you to start talking about sex by initiating the kiss.”

“Ooooooh… oh no, that’d be tragic!” Kaito said, eyes going soft with concern, “Awww, we’ve had such good moments! That’d be terrible if Kokichi didn’t remember those! Shoot, we’d have to recreate all of it…” barring, uh, one or two incidents.

Kokichi giggled, shoveling a big spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “I thou’ tha’s how you’d react! I thought I started pretty strong on that note, but you got too focused on the amnesia part so I had to switch tactics and try an’ be sneaky about it.”

“Hey, wasn’t it weird hearing me call you by your full names?” Kokichi asked, a weirded out laugh in his throat. It had certainly been weird to him. Honestly, it was the thing he focused on most, because calling his partners by their nicknames was so reflexive these days that if Kokichi didn’t focus, he’d slip up immediately.

Grinning a little more, he gave Shuuichi’s belly a fond look. “Probably not, since she’ll be hearing a lot of other people, but it’d be crazy if she grew up thinking your names really are Kai-chan and Shuu-chan, ‘cause that’s just what I call ya.”

“Of course I was gonna focus on the amnesia part! I kept trying to talk myself out of running to get a healer!” Kaito fretted, rolling his eyes a little at his men as he cut himself a slice of the weird pie, “Like I wasn’t going to be more concerned about Kokichi’s health than I was his knowledge of my sexual prowess… honestly guys.”

Shuichi shrugged, “I think we were both waiting for you to pick up on it faster. We were never gonna let you keep thinking he was hurt.”

“Yeah, yeah… just so long as my ‘Kichi doesn’t think he ‘owes’ me kisses.” Kaito tutted, before chuckling at Kokichi’s question, “Riiiiiight, that was what sounded so odd. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the last ten minutes have been weird reaction after weird reaction, but you really never just use my name, huh?”

“Shuu-chan and Kai-chan.” Shuichi agreed. 

“We’ll be lucky if we can just get her to differentiate between Dad, Daddy and Dada--”

“I still have not agreed to ‘dada’.” Shuichi said dryly.

“Honestly, Aunt Maki’s gonna have the easiest time of it.” Kaito Chuckled, “And Big Brother Tim… also, if you wanted to convince me that me and ‘Kichi hadn’t had our first kiss yet?”

Kaito grinned, shaking his head at Shuichi, “A deep, passionate kiss? Really? If you two had learned kissing just between the two of you, you’d still be kissing each other like this-”

Shuichi was a little surprised when Kaito leaned in for a kiss… and then looked notably annoyed as Kaito gave him a puckered, mushy-face kiss, just sorta pushing his head against Shuichi, before going with exaggeration, “Mu-wah!”

Shuichi frowned, wiping his mouth off with the back of his palm. “Nuh uh. We could have figured out kissing between ourselves. We didn’t get all our skills from you.”

“Yuh huh.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh.”

That was the core of it, at the end. They weren’t characters in a comedy. As funny as things would be...Kaito was a good person and a good husband. Whatever context they wrapped the humor in, unless he was in on the joke from the start? Of course he’d focus on the more serious stuff first. 

Scratching his cheek, Kokichi shrugged a bit. “Honestly...I don’t think I’ve used your real name in months. I think I used to use it for serious conversations or something, but...I dunno. It feels like I’m being more genuine with you if I call you by the name that I think of you by.”

Finishing off his ice cream, Kokichi got a piece of the fancy pie as well, marveling over the different flavors in it as he laughed quietly at the conundrum of Miya having three fathers. But also…

Kokichi blinked in surprise, looking at Shuuichi. “Was that what you were going for? Like...yeah, I feel like I would’ve figured out something more than just puckerfaces, but I learned almost everything I know about kissing from Kai-chan. If we were going for the first kiss route, I definitely would’ve made it sillier.”

Shuichi huffed, a bit of whip cream at the corner of his mouth as he said, “I!... I thought it’d be funny if Kokichi still remembered sleeping with me. And not you. So, no, not our first kiss… we could have totally learned to kiss like that on our own.” Shuichi grumbled, clearly a little embarrassed at his flub.

“Ya know what? If you two didn’t have me hogging all the kisses all the time, and were kissing each other a bunch? Sure, you could have taught yourselves to kiss like that.” Kaito grinned, trying to appease his clearly grumpy boyfriend.

Adding some vanilla to his tart, Kaito mixed it around, sucking on his spoon a bit… “Hm. So the criteria was that Kokichi remembered everything, but sleeping with me, right?”

“Mmhm.”

“...hmm… I wonder what that relationship would look like? I mean,” Kaito smirked, raising an eyebrow at Kokichi, “I guess I know what you think it would look like. Glad to know a good dicking stops you from acting like a distant automaton.”

Kokichi grinned sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t quite acting like that alternate reality. I was just trying to...you know. Act different, make it clear that things weren’t quite right. It’s a weird thought, considering how much of your personality is made up by your memories.”

“Mostly, I thought using your full names would freak you out, and me not jumping at the chance for sweets is definitely weird,” he giggled. “If everything was the same, but we’ve never had sex?”

Kokichi trailed off, putting it to some thought. The first time Kokichi had put all of his trust into Kaito was when they had sex, but...considering the tragectory they were on, Kokichi didn’t think that that wouldn’t eventually happen without sex. Would...all that much change?

“...honestly, I think we’d just both be pestering Shuu-chan for sex more often.”

“Kaito already pesters me for sex too much.” Shuichi said.

“I barely pester you at all!”

“Sure, because I’m pregnant. Miya, don’t leave me.” Shuichi sighed, rubbing his belly, “You must continue to protect me from your horny father.”

“Oh, trust me… she will.” Kaito said darkly, shoulders falling, “For seven months. At least.”

“You could try to sound a little less depressed about it.” Shuichi told him, “...that cheesecake looks amazing. I’m gonna have some of that next.”

“Yeah, though…” Kaito thought about their wedding night. Kaito didn’t want to call that sort of trauma between them as something… irreplaceable in their relationship. And he wouldn’t. It might have taken them longer to realize they loved each other without it, but they were still basically stuck in a room together for… the rest of their lives. They would have bonded over plenty of other things. Tengan and Chisa were not the reason their relationship worked.

“Things probably wouldn’t have been all that different.” Kaito mused, “...do you think, Kokichi, that you would have considered bringing Shuichi into the relationship, if we hadn’t… I mean…”

“That probably would have been trickier to bring up, without the threesome.” Shuichi admitted. “Somehow I don’t think you would have been as happy with the circumstances had it just been me and Kaito.”

“I like to think we would have found some way.” Kaito mused.

Kokichi patted Kaito’s arm consolingly, his head slightly bowed to mourn the loss of Kaito’s sex life. Even if he absolutely planned on getting them to have some sort of alone time here and there, even if it was just getting a little handsy in the tub for twenty minutes. 

It wasn’t the same. But they’d figure it out. 

They’d figured out everything so far.

Kokichi had made his peace with the things that happened, but...there were sexual encounters that...maybe he could’ve done without. And Shuuichi could’ve done without. 

Sighing, Kokichi moved bits of his pie around his bowl. “...I feel like it would’ve taken a lot longer. I liked you, of course, but...without jumping so hard into it...I feel like I would’ve been letting Kai-chan down to even bring up my attraction to you in any serious way. But the more I got to know you, and the more time we spent together, I doubt I would’ve been able to shove my feelings away.”

“Mmmm… heh…” Kaito frowned, looking a little uncomfortable as he said, “Ya know… okay, so in this scenario, me and ‘Kichi are not doing the do? And like, maybe once, just to make him happy, I’m helping out Shuichi-”

“How romantic.” Shuichi rolled his eyes.

“-with his stuff… I dunno.” Kaito laughed sheepishly, “Forget making me uncomfortable, I might have at some point just ended up begging Kokichi to let me, if, ya know… Shuichi still wanted too. I mean, not that I can’t go without it! Not what I’m saying! Not that I’m gonna go around begging to just go around fucking random people!”

“Now I’m random?” Shuichi asked, twitching through his cheesecake.

Shaking his head with a small laugh, Kokichi leaned over and rubbed himself against Shuuichi, nuzzling his shoulder like a cat. “I dunno how it would’ve happened, but...I think no matter what, we would’ve ended up together. And I’m really thankful for that...Shuu-chan is incredible.”

“Special, wonderful Shuu-chan…” Kokichi kissed his cheek. “Way out of my league Shuu-chan, but maybe I really can be lucky twice on that front.”

Shuichi perked up, smiling and leaning into the kisses and nuzzles, exchanging a few kisses back… before shooting Kaito a dirty look. “See, Kaito? That’s how you spoil someone.”

“I brought you pastries!”

“Hmph. Random… I dunno if I can forgive you…”

“... do youuuuuuu want a foot massage?”

“Oh! Yes please!” Shuichi smiled, looking immediately appeased.

Kokichi snickered quietly, pleased in his own right with Shuuichi’s returned affection. Playing to Shuuichi’s ego was usually a safe bet for getting him to feel better, though Kokichi meant every word he said. Shuuichi wouldn’t entertain the words if Kokichi was lying. 

Humming, Kokichi rubbed at Shuuichi’s back a bit. “I don’t think I ever read anything about it… Do you know when your ankles will stop swelling? I bet that’ll feel really nice. Though, I think Kai-chan will still be happy to rub your feet when you want.”

Kaito rolled his eyes and shook his head. Honestly… okay, yes, but still.

Putting his own bowl aside-- he was basically done eating anyway, it was all a lot of sugar-- Kaito went to Shuichi’s feet and ankles, running his fingers up and down Shuichi’s calf soothingly for a moment as he gently spun his boyfriends foot clockwise, keeping an eye out for tension spots, before starting to work on the muscles as Shuichi sighed happily.

“According to the pregnancy books, it should stop about two weeks after Miya’s here.” Shuichi practically hummed, relaxing against Kokichi as they kept at their sweets, feeling the tension start to ease against Kaito’s fingers. “Most everything’s gonna take a couple of weeks, it seems. It’s a bit of a recovery period… but it should all get better and easier every day. So that’s nice to look forward to.”

“Woo!” Kokichi cheered, throwing a fist in the air triumphantly. Yeah! A less achy body every day! Though, he did give his boyfriend a tender look. “I know how much bed rest sucks, though… But we’ll make sure the bed is as comfy as can be, and we’ll get Shuu-chan anything he wants. I know my dad comes by all the time already, but he said he’s happy to be around as much as we want without getting sick of him, to make sure that we can get everything we need and Miya always has an eye on her. Denji-chan said they’re available too, and while she’ll be working, Lake-nee said she can make trips into town quick as a flash.”

...they really...had a lot of people around them. All excited and ready to lend a hand wherever they could. 

Kokichi smiled so wide it crinkled his eyes shut. “I’m so excited…”

“Me too…” Shuichi said softly. 

“Fuck yeah!” Kaito grinned, rotating Shuichi’s ankle some more, gently, gentle now, “Soon, guys. Soon. Close this chapter, start a new one. And… fuck, who knows what it’ll look like. Nothing has been how I expected it yet, and… I don’t know! Sure, it hasn’t all been easy or fun or good, but…”

Kaito looked up, grinning at his two men, bright and eager, “Shit, look what it all led too? Knowing everything that happened, good or bad, still all led to this? It’s… it’s exciting! I can’t wait to see what happens next!”

“I think we all lose sleep forever next.” Shichi laughed lightly.

“And that’s exciting!”

Kokichi nodded. “I for one am ready to wholly embrace never getting more than twenty minutes a pop. I wonder if I’ll start to develop synesthesia. Some people talk about how they can hear colors when they’re sleep deprived.”

It was one thing to regret the mistakes you made. The people you hurt, the decisions you wished you didn’t have to make. But...the purpose of that regret was to drive you to make things better. And regardless of your past, everyone had to keep taking steps forward. To not drive yourself crazy, you just...had to accept everything, the joy and the pain, and appreciate the good things you had, and use the lessons from the pain to prevent more. 

Choking a giggle, a little caught up in his emotions, Kokichi hid his eyes in Shuuichi’s shoulder though his grin was almost blindingly bright. “I’m so happy to spend my life with you guys.”

“Heh… you’re both saps.” Shuichi smiled, kissing the top of Kokichi’s head as he nuzzled against his shoulder, “You guys are more looking forward to the never ending psychological stress test than I am.”

“Don’t play with us, Shuichi, you’re excited.” Kaito said, entirely certain.

“I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with you guys, and I’m excited to have Miya join us. I am less enthusiastic about the sleep deprivation.” Shuichi paused, “And the dirty diapers. There are so many dirty diapers in our future.”

“Eh, it’ll be fine. I’m sure we’ll get so used to the smell of her that we’ll barely even notice it!” Kaito grinned. “And we’ll have to use that itty-bitty bath thing in the sink cause our itty-bitty Miya can’t go into the tub for a long time… little itty-bitty sink baths… with my itty-bitty buff baby~”

Kokichi nodded, smiling tenderly down at Kaito as he got into baby mode again. “It’s gonna take getting used to, and there are definitely parts that won’t be a joy… But I’m excited, because all those things means Miya’s here. And that overpowers everything else, even if I’m walking around like a zombie and I lose my sense of smell.”

Closing his eyes, Kokichi sighed dreamily. “Her taking a nap in the sun of the open window, cushioned and swaddled in blankets… I can already tell something like that would be my magnum opus when I paint it.”

Kaito glanced up at Shuichi’s stomach, feeling a strong desire to go gab the stethoscope… but no. Foot massage time. “That is a nice image.” He grinned, moving onto the next foot as Shuichi sighed slightly in relief, “... I know it’s a little silly, but there’s a real part of me that kinda hopes Miyako can hear me when I talk to her. I know that’s silly, she probably can’t hear much of anything. But I like the idea that she knows there’s something waiting for her out here. Something familiar, ya know?”

“She kicks and punches enough to make me think she’s eager to get out and explore.” Shuichi pouted, “Stop encouraging her.”

“Heh. No way. I want her to be excited.” Kaito laughed.

Kokichi laughed along with Kaito, though he just cuddled in more to Shuuichi’s side. “It might get to be a terror for us, but...I hope she’s active and excited. That from the start she’s ready to meet the world...even if it’s overwhelming and she needs something soft around her and someone warm to hold her. I just...wanna see her so bad…”

His fears these days weren’t so bad. Even though he knew that there were no signs that he’d passed anything concerning onto Miyako, Kokichi had still worried for a long time. He’d still love her with all his heart, of course, no matter how or who she turned out to be, but...well. He’d been scared with his father’s stories about Kokichi as a baby, and Kokichi had his own gripes with his memories. Kokichi never wanted for Miya to be so exhausted that she couldn’t do anything, to sleep days and days away, despite wanting to reach out to the world. 

But they’d just have to see. 

Groaning, Kokichi pressed his face to Shuuichi’s shoulder. “Uuuuuuugh, I’m so jealous!! Kai-chan gets to hear her first noises!”

Kaito smirked, “Awwww, it’s okay babe. You’ll get to see her soon enough! I just gotta get all the icky stuff off her first. Then boom! Right to you! I just wish our Shuichi would be up sooner. That’s probably gonna take a minute, huh?”

“Considering I’m waking up after a major surgery?” Shuichi mused, “You all can let me sleep. I’ll see Miya when I wake up. Assuming I’m lucid.”

“I bet it won’t be that long.” Kaito decided, mostly out of hope. He knew he was going to be so excited to show Miya off to Kokichi and Shuichi the second he had her. He was going to be so excited to see their reactions. “...she’s gonna be so little.”

“Gonna put her in little dresses and little socks and if she has enough hair I’m gonna oh so gently brush her hair because she’s gonna have little hair…”

“Kaito, you’re doing that ‘cooing’ noise again.”

“And she’s gonna have itty bitty little fingernails!”

Most likely, Kaito would see her first, be there with the OBs and practicing surgeon while they cleaned and checked up on Miya and...er...helped Shuuichi. (Kokichi didn’t really want to think about that part.) And while it might take a little time from that point until things were safe for Kokichi to come in, easing Shuuichi off the anesthesia and letting him rest meant that Kokichi was probably going to be the second to see their daughter. Kaito and Shuuichi had already said that they didn’t mind Ikuo coming into the rest room on that first day, but the grandpa-to-be himself insisted that he give the three of them some time alone with Miyako, so...probably Shuuichi would wake up, be stricken with wonder upon seeing their daughter, and...probably rest more, then Ikuo would come by, most likely with some food for them. 

...they hadn’t talked about Maki. 

Kokichi opened his eyes, looking at his partners with a question he...thought he knew the answer to. “...we made the plan before she came back… Maki-chan’s gonna be in the room with you guys when she’s born, right?”

Both Shuichi and Kaito looked mildly startled, if only because… “Well, yeah.” Kaito said, “Do you think we could keep her out?”

“I mean, maybe now we could.” Shuichi sighed a little, not exactly feeling great about that. He had spent a lot of time wishing Maki would start to recognize her own limits, and now that she did? The thought of her facing her weaknesses just made him feel bad. Maki had been near insufferable with her ‘invincible’ bit, but seeing her version of ‘meek’ sucked too. “But I wouldn’t want too. Kaito?”

Kaito didn’t say anything for a moment, “... of course I want her there. One, because it’d be nice to have my best friend there to support us, and two… I know Miya’s gonna be safe. We’re all gonna be safe… but Maki makes me actually feel safe.”

“...still?” Shuichi asked.

Kaito shrugged. “Yeah. Still.”

Kokichi smiled slightly. Things had changed. In some ways, there were things that could never go back to the way they were, for better or for worse. But...there were other things that hadn’t changed at all. And that was really comforting. 

Sighing, he kissed at Shuuichi’s shoulder. “Well, I’m gonna be super jealous of both of you, but it’ll make me happy to have Maki-chan there. I’ll have my dad keeping me company in the waiting room, so...it’ll be comforting to know that Kai-chan and Maki-chan are right there for each other and Shuu-chan.”

“...mm, I know you guys said you’d think about it, but remember to let Lake-nee and Aunty Nazumi know if there’s anything you want brought over when they come by in the evening.” Kokichi rolled his eyes a bit. “I’m sure my dad would run in and out all day if we asked, and Denji-chan and my father could bring stuff, but...they offered, so.”

The hospital was going to be a little crazy, but for the most part it was just going to be the three fathers, the baby, of course, and Aunt Maki, with Ikuo nearby. That evening, the rest of Kokichi’s family was going to stop by, bring them stuff they needed and say hello to the baby. They were going to stay the night no matter what, but if things were looking alright, then they could go home the next morning, and from there they could decide how they wanted to bring friends over.

...it was hectic, but they had a plan.

-

Alter Ego tapped gently through the clouds, hopping up and up, tail swishing through the wind as the sun warmed his fur.

Alter Ego sighed, looking at the edge of the clouds. Alright now… the point wasn’t to keep himself up.

The point was to let himself fall. 

Alter Ego kept ahold of his breathing… in and out… let the fear wash through you. Don’t let it control you. You know what’s supposed to happen, but don’t let it control your actions. Step out…

Alter Ego felt the floor let out from under his paw as he stepped forward, and he forced himself to keep his eyes open as he hurtled forward. It’s okay. It’s okay. Don’t block out the fear, but don’t let it control you. Don’t hover. The point is to fall. The goal is to fall. Don’t let the fear control your actions. Don’t-- 

Nothing really changed. One second the cat was fine, and the next second the fear just overwhelmed him. There was a small, frightened “Meow!” and he closed his eyes and his body shifted.

And he stopped falling, hovering in the clouds again.

...sigh. It’d take more practice.

It was important to be able to make conscious choices while he was afraid. The easiest way to manipulate an empath into acting in certain ways was to prey on their basic instincts, their most primal emotions. Fear was the easiest way to manipulate an empath in the heat of battle. It was how Babayaga had defeated him when he had attempted to defend Kokichi. Her attacks had scared him into reacting to them how he felt they should react. It had happened so suddenly and quickly that he had just allowed his body to be thrown around. 

In the mindscape. Alter Ego had lost because he had believed he was losing. Fear had made him feel like he was losing.

You couldn’t stop yourself from feeling fear. You just had to learn to control yourself even when you were.

He’d figure it out.

...oh. Kokichi was calling.

Alter Ego leapt from a pounce, arrived at the podium with the sign in sheet, told the mannequin person he had a key, and popped in to where Kokichi called, looking around to see where he was.

Kokichi left most of the dramatics to the side this time, and the area he’d set up to talk in was just the backlot of the castle, the grass lush and green, but a picnic blanket was laid out too. This time, the sunny day wasn’t a wish for what awaited after winter’s hold--they’d already made it. Honestly, Kokichi could set up the exact scene when he woke up in the morning. 

Grinning at his mentor, Kokichi waved. “Alter Ego! Hey! Thanks for coming, I’m glad to see you! How are things?”

Alter Ego stretched happily in the sun, immediately rolling around in the grass, before looking up at Kokichi, “Hello Kokichi, Hello Temp.” He greeted, nodding at the Templar, who waved at him from the picnic blanket. “Things are good. I was practicing my techniques. Are we having another conditioning checkup? It’s not our usual day.”

“Not exactly. Kokichi and I had an enlightening conversation with a Flora named Thalia yesterday.” Temp said, eating a few grapes.

Alter Ego gave Temp a long look. “...I’m going to assume by your lack of panic that we’re not about to go on the run from an entire hive mind?”

“Alter Ego!” Kokichi chirped. “She’s a cat like you!” 

Which...honestly he didn’t think was much of a deal, so it didn’t feel like giving too much away to Alter Ego. But, that exciting fact out of the way, Kokichi gave his mentor a crooked smile. “That’s not quite it, yeah.”

“Basically...baby Flora aren’t a part of the hivemind until they’re about five months old,” Kokichi explained. “So we have five months to figure out how to create a block so the hivemind can’t feel Miya or Addie, and then Thalia can teach them how to make their own blocks.”

A flora cat? Huh. That was actually pretty cool. It didn’t sound impossible, from what Alter Ego knew about Flora. Technically any species could make a Flora.

Temp nodded along with Kokichi, as Alter Ego went to go lay on the picnic blanket, placing his paws over each other, his tail flicking gently. Temp ate another grape, before saying, “So, we have a five month window to learn how to cover our children ourselves, to keep the hive mind from them. Which… admittedly, I’m not sure where to even start with that. But, I hope we can count on your help…”

Alter Ego scoffed, “You insult me by asking. Of course I’m going to help. Five months though… that’s going to fly by.” The cat sighed. “You really have no idea where to start, Temp, or you’re exaggerating?”

“When Flora first went from healers to conquerors, the general consensus was to avoid them and wait for them to regain their senses.” Temp explained, “I was no exception. I don’t think anyone realized how powerful they stood to grow, being left to their own devices… there was only a few thousand in the whole of the world, when Junko Enoshima became queen. No one could have predicted the empire they’d become.”

“So you’re saying you just stayed away from all Flora for the last two thousand years?”

“That’s what I’m saying, yes.” Temp said, “...with a few exceptions. But most Flora I knew were from before the change in monarchy.”

Considering Kokichi had been trying to absorb the information of the existence of Flora in general, it had been overshadowed but...learning that the current queen of Danganronpa had been the monarch for thousands of years was...insane. Obviously there were Flora who disagreed with her--Thalia, notably--so...there were people to ask about it. 

Kokichi chewed his lip before looking up at Temp. “You gave me a bypass right into where we talked, but...Temp, what was Thalia’s lobby like? We should probably ask her about it, but...was it like other lobbies? It’s gonna be harder in another person, but...it’s still just creating a diversion to keep people out, isn’t it?”

“The verbal answer is it was like being trapped in tar…” Temp frowned, before saying, “But that doesn’t do it justice. Let me send you the memory.”

Temp closed his eyes, reached back…

{It was like being in the void, but the void could hold you. There were flora vines everywhere within the void, but they couldn’t push through, they felt frozen and disconnected within the darkness. It was suffocating and overwhelming, the most effective mental defense I’d ever seen. I could do nothing without her strict permission within that space, and I tried.}

Alter Ego, who was also receiving this message, “...wow.” they said, eyes wide, “That’s genuinely incredible. How? She’s not even an empath… it must have been incredibly difficult to get such control over her mind.”

“I suspected some of it is dark magic.” Temp said… before immediately confessing, “I don’t know that. But her mother practices. I can’t imagine it had no influence.”

Receiving Temp’s memory, Kokichi felt his breath catch, felt a shiver go down his spine, but even that felt like too much movement for such...an oppressive blockade. It...wasn’t like any lobby he’d seen before. Totally different from his own void. Where Kokichi had sought to give people nothing, to make them bored and leave, Thalia’s was meant to trap. To squeeze and suffocate and utterly reject anything unfortunate enough to be caught. 

Kokichi shivered a little more, though...he frowned. “...is...dark magic something that can be taught? Because Thalia didn’t seem like she thought it would be an issue teaching Miya and Addie to protect themselves, other than being able to keep hidden.”

As for the stern level of control Thalia had...maybe...it was practice for Flora? And like what Mikado had, the ability to affect your own mind, but not other people’s. If Flora could communicate through the hivemind, then they were aware of their mental space, unlike other non-Empath folks, so...maybe it was just through constant practice.

“A good rule of thumb: if people are referring to a natural species ability, they rarely call it magic.” Temp explained, relaxing against the blanket, “It’s why Empaths are explained to have ‘empathetic’ abilities. If someone familiar with this side of the world refers to something as ‘magic’, than it’s usually a skill, not a natural, innate species ability.”

“All that to say, yes, dark magic can be learned?” Alter Ego asked. 

Temp nodded, “Yes. I don’t know how long it would take an infant to learn it, even ones capable of thinking, but… I do know it can be learned.”

Kokichi frowned slightly, but...Thalia had immediately been up in arms about Temp thinking about testing Seiko’s medicine on Flora, specifically about kids. If she was planning on teaching the kids dark magic, then...she wouldn’t have planned on that if it hurt someone to use. Just because it had a foreboding name like that didn’t mean that it was evil or something.

“...so...are all Flora who can block themselves off using dark magic? I feel like a pattern like that would be pretty noticeable…” Kokichi huffed. “Though I can’t claim to apply any sort of logic to anything Queen Enoshima does.”

...but that was just for the kids. Surely Thalia would’ve said something to give them a lead if using dark magic was the only way to block yourself off from the hivemind. 

Twirling a bit of hair to the side, Kokichi hummed. “...Thalia also said that she wouldn’t be able to block the kids off without the hivemind noticing, but that we could, so...it has to be possible with Empath abilities, right?”

“Considering she failed to give an example? Or an idea how?” Temp sighed, running a hand through his dark hair, “I wouldn’t be surprised if that was just an educated guess, on her part. Same way I’m assuming hers is being done through black magic. It sounds right, but… I’m just basing that on what I know about magic and defenses in general.”

“It does sound right though.” Alter Ego frowned, tail flicking, “The hivemind is an invasion of the mind. Empaths should already be experts on that. That makes sense, doesn’t it? Isn’t it actually weird that we haven't heard of that yet?”

“... You know, outside of being a hivemind? I think the strongest ability Flora have worked out is effective propaganda and information control.” Temp said, brow furrowing, “Outside of humans, they’re one of the fastest growing species in the planet, and almost no one knows anything about them. They’ve basically made Luminary a colony, Dicea is their next door neighbor, and neither country knows anything about that country. And Danganronpa has literally dozens of captured empaths in Luminary working with for them exclusively… if there was a way for Empaths to block the hivemind in people? I bet Danganronpa would work their asses off to keep that information suppressed.”

“Which means there might be empaths out there like us? Folks who have figured out ways to battle Flora, but can’t risk talking about it openly?” Alter Ego said, ears going back. “...how would we make contact with us? If we were looking for us?”

Kokichi crossed his arms, shoulders dropping, but...that was right… Even with just human knowledge, practically everyone knew that Danganronpa had a medical embargo, and they’d done a damn good job making sure only select few people who couldn’t do anything about it knew that the country’s major population wasn’t human. Sometimes...you didn’t have to have powerful abilities to use power. Information, and limiting and diverting what people knew was one of the most powerful tools you could use. 

Kokichi chewed on his lip. “...that would require those Empaths wanting to seek out more people for the cause, but...considering they’re trying to oppose a dominating force, I think it’s safe to assume they’re on the lookout.”

“...Temp...I mean, Alter Ego and I did seek you out,” Kokichi started, looking up at his friend. “You were the most powerful Empath that was still willing to help people out that people knew. And...you’re not exactly an unknown in the Empath community. We were able to just ask to talk… Would others need to be more subtle than that?”

Temp sighed a little, “I’m usually who people go to when they need help protecting themselves from other empaths, and people hunting for empaths. I usually end up just teaching more inexperienced empaths how to set up defenses, and if they’re too weak to create their own for themselves or at risk loved ones? Than I create defenses for them. Like the ones I created for you to give to Kaito.”

“That’s how I heard about you, yes.” Alter Ego said, looking over to Temp, “And I heard you didn’t usually treat people unfairly, thanks to your religion. It was worth the risk of…”

Temp smirked, “Me thinking you were an abomination?”

“Yes.” The cat said simply.

“You still are. But I’m not in the habit of forcing non-dangerous people to give up a part of themselves. Especially if a ‘part’ is… essentially all of them. I still wish to help you, but… ‘helping’ you is becoming less black and white as I get to know you.” Temp admitted, “Which is very frustrating.”

“...thanks?”

“You’re welcome…” Temp closed his eyes, thought about it, “...I was known as someone who could help, so you reached out to me…”

“...let’s put out a notice in the newspaper.” Temp suddenly said, sitting up. “We’ll be entirely brazen about it. Unsubtle. We’ll explain exactly why we’re being anonymous about it, and give an address to send letters. The hivemind needs to know who we are to invade our minds. If they never see us? Have no idea who they’re looking for--”

“It’s not like ‘masks’ hide our energies.” Alter Ego frowned, “A flora would just need to go to the site, feel us around, and we’d be caught. Or anyone we’d send would be caught. Or anyone trying to reach us would be caught.”

“Damn… I wish I knew a fairy right now.” Temp sighed, rubbing his temple, “Those people are experts on pocket dimensions, which could work as a hiding meeting place. But fairies are more secretive than Flora, usually. They avoid gods and their followers like me like the plague, if they can help it.”

...well, in a way, Flora were the most notorious Empath hunters Kokichi knew of, so that was still a chance, but… And there wasn’t even much of a chance of someone contacting Temp because of Addason--kind of the point of all this was to prevent people from locating Addason, and...more or less, the only people that knew that Temp’s son was coming from a biological parent that had been on spores (a seedling) were Temp himself, Alter Ego, Kokichi and his family, and the adoption agents. And...Kokichi didn’t really believe they were that clandestined that one of the adoption agents would be an Empath who knew how to block out the hivemind. 

So...unless those Empaths were desperate enough for some help to seek out Temp...which they hadn’t already…

But then again, things were kind of chaotic. If some of the Empaths that were working with the Indentured Program were doing it not by their own will, then...they, too, were free now. So...they might be taking time to regroup, get safe, and...and then reach out.

...they’d have to see. 

Kokichi smiled slightly, feeling warm seeing just...how different things were between Temp and Alter Ego these days. Turns out, even with hundreds of years of experience--even if you didn’t remember it all--there were still new perspectives to see. 

Raising an eyebrow at Temp’s idea, Kokichi...wasn’t totally convinced. But one thing he said made Kokichi very confused and concerned. “Wait...invade our minds? I thought Flora could only do that to each other?”

“Well, they themselves can’t, but the empaths they control--” Temp started to explain.

“No, no, no,” Alter Ego interrupted, ears suddenly straight up, “Queen Kaede shut down the program, right? Isn’t that program shut down now? How are the Flora going to control them without it? Those empaths are effectively free.”

Temp paused… “Oh. Oh.”

“And, wait, wait, okay… so we don’t have to worry about Luminary empaths being used against us. Seedlings were also a risk in Dicea, because they’re not aware they’re spreading information to the hivemind, but the seedlings in the Dicea area are getting access to medicine, breaking their connection.” Alter Ego said, “...isn’t that most of the security risks? For calling out to other empaths just directly?”

“A mass call to empaths in Dicea?” Temp said, frowning, “... it’d still be a risk. Not all empaths can be trusted, and some might have tethers… I don’t think it’d be safe to just ask everyone in Dicea. The message would come right back to us.”

Kokichi silently echoed Temp’s “oh”s, his lips just making the shape as the two sides of what they didn’t know about the situation meshed into a solution. Flora couldn’t invade Empath minds--unless they were an Empath Flora, he supposed--and most of the Empaths that the community had to be wary of finding out any movements against the Flora were now no longer obligated to do so. 

Information...just got a whole hell of a lot easier to spread. 

But it wasn’t free game. 

His eyebrows furrowing, Kokichi nodded slightly before speeding up, looking at his friends with wide eyes. “What about rumors!? Or...shoot, what did he call it… A whisper campaign!”

Kokichi perked, feeling good about this idea as he explained it to his friends. “We don’t need to put out a mass notice. We just...need to tell a few people we think at the very least won’t rat us out, and then ask them to pass on the information to people who fit that same criteria. Then...word will get around, and we’ll be able to talk to other Empaths.”

Kokichi eagerly looked between the two people he admired, hoping to have hit the wall of this problem right in the weak spot. “Yeah?”

Both Alter Ego and Temp thought about it.

“...damn, that… really could actually work.” Temp murmured.

“Is it safe?” Alter Ego asked, “I mean… isn’t it eventually the same problem?”

“No, I don’t…” Temp sighed, “There’s no entirely safe way to get this information out there. I wanted to do physical because I thought it might limit access to people following a train of empath connections, but… okay. If we just use my name? And the first few empaths are people we can trust? And we ask them to make sure the few empaths they send it out to are people they can trust? Kokichi’s right, that information will spread, and it’s the safest possible way for us to do so.”

“And… if something goes wrong? People will only have my name to connect to it… I’m a Templar of Death. If I can’t protect my son from being known about by the hivemind if they discover him through me asking about suppressing it, my reputation might be enough to scare them away. I’m an extremely powerful, old empath under the direct patronage of one of the most powerful gods known…”

Alter Ego nodded, “It’s only people who know you that are aware you’re kind of an idiot.”

“...that’s very unkind… but yes.” Temp conceded, “If it’s just me who gets discovered? I can handle the fallback, so long as we eventually get Addason free from the hivemind. His long term safety is the goal, and I might be too much of a risk for Danganronpa to want to engage with, so long as they think I’m only doing it for him, and no other flora’s.”

...eventually it could be the same problem. One person making a flawed judgement call, or one person having a change of heart… Kokichi was doing this to keep Flora out of his family’s business, not paint a target on their backs. The thought of a group of “tourists” coming to stay in the castle, just to come to the third floor…

...it was subtle, but the castle in Kokichi’s mindscape had a different feeling for a moment. Shadows scaling the walls, flitting behind the windows, standing on a small out-cropping…

That was another thing Kokichi never wanted for his daughter. 

But if they couldn’t figure out how to block the hivemind from reaching her…

Kokichi gave Temp a soft, worried look. “...if you’re okay with that. And...we can start slow. So more research into people before we reach out. And…”

He took a breath, pepping himself up more. “And I’m gonna keep trying to figure out how to make a strong defence without dark magic, that I can set up in someone else’s mind. If we can figure it out without letting every Empath on the continent know what we’re trying to do...we can be more careful about who we reach out to.”

“Oh, yeah, we should definitely keep trying to do it ourselves.” Alter Ego said, ear twitching, “We’re hoping there’s someone out there who already has an answer, but… even a successful whisper campaign might prove that no one has that answer. We can’t put all our eggs in that basket, we need to experiment and get better at defenses ourselves. In five months? Maybe we’ll be fully capable of working it out ourselves.”

“... Alter Ego, Kokichi and I…”

Alter Ego looked at Temp, who seemed to be struggling to explain what was on his mind, “...if you’re about to say it’ll be harder for you guys to practice than myself, then… yeah. I know. Between the three of us, I’m the only one without much of a real world to focus on. Hiro still has his life, but… I understand.”

Alter Ego stood up, and with a surprisingly amount of grace, did a small, one legged bow, or curtsy, as he closed his eyes, “Between the three of us, I’m aware I have the best chances of getting the defenses we need in time. I swear to you both now… I will not slack. I will put my all into this. If I am capable of learning this before time is up? If I am capable of protecting your children?”

Alter Ego raised his head, golden eyes intense, “I swear I will do it. You both are my friends. I will not fail you.”

Temp nodded, “Thank you.”

Kokichi had grown up with promises. There were the kind that meant nothing, like ‘sorry, let’s go to the park next week instead, okay?’ and there were the kinds that meant everything like Kokichi’s oath to uphold the Ouma name and spend his life working for the betterment of the Dicean people. 

His husband and his people believed in swears, vows that were not to be taken lightly. Things that were as serious as the promises Kokichi made to people. 

And Alter Ego making that kind of swear to him, to his daughter…

Kokichi’s eyes shined with huge, pearly tears as he choked back an emotional sob, beaming at his mentor. “Thank you, Alter Ego. I’ll give it my all too.”

-

Kaito opened his eyes.

Go check on Ti-- 

Yeah, yeah.

Kaito yawned, basically running on autopilot as he scratched at his stomach, heading out to the hallway. Go to Tim’s door, listen in. Any signs of distress? No. Head back, check the- “Oh.” Kaito blinked, looking at Maki like he could barely comprehend she was there.

...kinda cause he could barely comprehend she was there. He yawned again, rubbed his eyes with the back of his palm.

Maki leaned against the wall, watching him curiously, before saying softly, “Hi--”

“Where have you been?” Kaito asked, suddenly annoyed. That was right! It was, like, midnight! Or something?? He hadn’t seen her in two days!

“Out.” Maki said simply.

“That’s not an answer.”

“It might as well be. I went out.” Maki shrugged, “I went exploring the forest to the south. Got back a few hours ago.”

“Oh… hours ago?” Kaito blinked sleepily, before looking around, as if the scenery would have a clue, “What are you doing out here?”

“Wondering what you’re doing out here.”

“Oh…” Kaito shrugged, “Checking on stuff.”

“Tim?”

“Him, other stuff, yeah.”

“You worried something’s going to happen?”

Kaito laughed. “Constantly.”

“...fair.” Maki said, pushing off the wall, “...wanna go on a night hike?”

“Something on your mind?”

“Just miss the night air already.”

“... my guys might worry if they wake up…”

“We won’t go far. Just a walk through the gardens.”

Kaito sighed, “Yeah, alright.”

-

They had been walking for a little bit, and it occurred to Kaito once they got out there that he was… not dressed. “I look like a slob.” Kaito whined, looking down at his sweatpants and tank top.

“You’re not even wearing shoes.” Maki agreed, “You’re a disgrace to your own name.”

“Why are you fully dressed?”

“Was planning to invite you to the night hike.”

“...am I that predictable?”

“You step outside my door basically every night. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“I don’t know… yes?”

“I’m insulted.”

“My bad.”

“I’m kidding, I don’t really care.”

“Yeah.”

“...you’re so toothless.”

Kaito sighed, “Maki, if this is gonna be a trip ragging on me, I’m going back to bed.”

“Good. That’d feel better than you just passively taking it.”

“Dammit Maki…”

“Why are you checking on me in the middle of the night?”

“Cause terrible things keep happening to us and you’re not invincible?” 

“Maybe terrible things will just stop happening.”

“... that sounds fucking weird coming from you.”

“Yeah.” Maki agreed, shrugging.

They were silent for awhile more. Walking through the gardens, the moonlight shining down on them.

“...you wanna talk about Tengan?”

“What!? Why!?”

“I don’t know.” Maki said, glancing over at him, her red eyes glowing in the shadow, catching the smallest bits of light, “Cause you can now, I guess? Sometimes you just bring up stuff yourself, but I’m not feeling patient.”

“...there’s nothing to talk about.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Whatever, Maki. It’s not like you’re fucking begging to tell me about your childhood lessons.”

“Do you want to know?”

“...” Kaito sighed, “If you wanna talk about it, yeah.”

“Not really.”

“Yeah.”

More silence, the two of them quietly walking through the curving stone path, heading near the wall.

“... I mean… if you don’t want to talk about yours because I won’t talk about mine… I could… maybe tell you abou--”

“Shhh.” Maki suddenly said, putting her hand out, Kaito immediately quieting and ducking to the same squat as her, looking around urgently as Maki wordlessly pointed, first to her ear, than to the wall.

Maki heard something.

Kaito waited, letting Maki go first, knowing her steps would be truly silent. He watched her disappear into the foliage, losing her in the shadows, before catching her to the right, leaping to the wall, pointing further down. Kaito followed her point, as quietly as he could flanking to the left, ready to be backup as she leapt silently forward on the wall top, one leap, two…

Maki peered down the wall. “...you, uh… you alright?”

The person on the ground--who had been lying face-down in the grass, groaning softly in self-pity, which was likely what tipped Maki off--startled, having been too caught up in her own lamenting to notice anyone else approach. Which...wasn’t very smart, since she’d been trying specifically not to garner any attention. 

Andromeda looked up, eyes wide with surprise for a moment before her freckled cheeks turned red and she looked away out of embarrassment, slowly pushing herself up to at least be sitting on the ground. “...yeah, I...yeah. I’m okay.”

It really wasn’t that big a deal. They were all adults, things like this happened. Sure, she and Denji weren’t...really out to anyone yet. Hell, they’d only been seeing each other for a few weeks, after the stylist had come to the club with the prince’s coupon. And while Denji had made good use of that coupon, the two of them had also got around to talking. Mostly Denji talking, but...it was nice. Andromeda still felt like an integral part of the exchange, and the expectant way Denji looked at her, like Andromeda obviously was important and had important things to contribute, so don’t waver or beat around the bush, just say it…

Things were nice. But on the downlow. And even if Denji’s room was on a different level, and they said their brother always went to sleep early… Andromeda couldn’t fathom facing Prince Kokichi walking out of his sibling’s room late at night. It was too much. 

...and given the intensity of the woman above her right now, and Denji’s descriptions...this wasn’t much better. 

Andromeda’s face colored further as she steamed in embarrassment. “...don’t suppose I can convince you to forget about this tomorrow?”

Maki propped her head against her palm, looking distinctly unimpressed as she said, “I don’t tend to forget intruders sneaking in the night.”

Kaito peered at the person-- the voice sounded familiar-- and while he couldn’t quite place it, she frankly just… sounded nice. He got a good vibe from it. 

“Maki, be nice,” Kaito sighed, standing up from the bush he had been hiding behind and heading over, offering the woman a hand up, “People are allowed in and off the grounds at night… uh, that’s a point. Miss, you know the front gate is open, right? It’s fine if you didn’t, I leapt the wall once too cause I didn’t know that! Totally understandable mistake!” Kaito laughed, grinning down at her.

Andromeda startled again, not having noticed Prince Kaito there either. Even worse. The prince had been so uncomfortable when they came to clear up the confusion about the coupon, surely he wouldn’t take well to someone he met at a strip club sneaking around at night…

She couldn’t tell if it was good or not that Prince Kaito didn’t say anything about it. 

Taking his hand, Andromeda pulled herself up from the ground, unsure if it’d help her case or break it if she corrected them to say that, actually, she was going out, not coming in. Feeling a little overwhelmed by the brightness of the prince’s grin, Andromeda looked to the side, stuffing her hands in her jacket pockets. “...r-right… I’ll just...go through there. Have a good night.”

With that, she shuffled a few steps and tried to walk away, just aiming to get out of the castle without even more people seeing and questioning her.

Kaito and Maki glanced at each other. Kaito raised his eyebrows. Maki looked annoyed. Kaito grinned. Maki sighed.

Kaito looked down at himself and sighed, “Man, I wish I had put more clothes on… miss, let us walk you home? It’s like,” Kaito trotted over to her, giving her a mildly amused look, as Maki leapt down from the wall, walking to the other side of her, “two in the morning or something? I know Dicea’s pretty safe, but I’d feel better knowing you got home alright.”

He didn’t say that Maki was just going to end up following her anyway, nervous of ignoring someone scaling the wall, and, well, Kaito might as well supervise her stalking.

“E-eh?” Andromeda jolted, looking at the two in slight horror--mortified, mortified horror--before remembering things Denji had said about these two. Insufferable tenacity, was a pointed note. 

At this point the young succubus’ face was practically glowing in the dark with how intensely she was blushing, and she put her hands over his face, murmuring a soft, “Fucking god…”

Would Dawn be able to sense Kaito all the way up in their apartment? The last thing Andromeda needed was to be caught twice, and explaining to her sister why she was out so late at night was somehow even harder than trying to avoid these two. Andromeda had never been a fan of the night life, and pretty much the only times she went out were when she was waiting around the club for Dawn’s shift to end. Coming back in the middle of the night…

She wouldn’t be able to handle the sibling teasing. 

“...I...I’ll be alright. You two live here, right? Don’t wanna...make you go on a trip in the middle of the night,” Andromeda halfheartedly mumbled, not having any sort of confidence that this would persuade either of them.

“Aw, geez…” Kaito looked a little disappointed, laughing as he rubbed the back of his neck, “You sure I can’t insist? It’s really no trouble! We were up and walking anyway!”

Which, unfortunately, wasn’t weird enough to call out. People were more than welcome enough to get some fresh air around their own home. 

...there was no way Kaito wouldn’t mention this to Kokichi. 

Andromeda had to save this. 

Stiffly and still fuming in embarrassment, Andromeda shrugged a bit. “...if you were walking anyway…”

Kaito visibly inflated, relieved. Phew! Good! Maki wouldn’t end up following her by herself! “Of course! It’s no trouble at all! Right, Maki?”

Maki, in fact, looked a little disappointed. Kaito suspected she had wanted to maybe stalk through the city a little. Maki loved moving through shadows. She had confessed to him once when they were teenagers that it was the closest she ever felt to feeling ‘elegant’, which Kaito had thought was very sweet, at the time. Everyone had their own version of feeling graceful.

But, instead all Maki said was, “Of course. Like Kaito said, it’s late. It’s wise to not walk through the city alone at night.”

“Well, back at home, yeah.” Kaito grinned, before saying, “Oh! We haven't introduced ourselves! I’m Prince Kaito Ouma Momota, and this is Miss Maki Harukawa! At your service!”

Taking a breath, Andromeda nodded--saving her lament for the night to internal groaning this time--and started walking towards the front gate, shrinking back into her jacket collar a little bit, as if that would save her from recognition. Though...it seemed that Kaito was either giving her a weird, bizarre out, or...he really didn’t remember her. 

Giving them each a nod for the greeting, Andromeda returned, “I’m Andromeda Yuu. Um...I live in the north side, so...that’s where we’re headed.”

…

Dawn had always tried to encourage her to be a little more personable. Chat people up. Maybe make something happen so she could get a meal…

But kind of the last thing she needed was for these two to open up more and for Kaito to maybe remember who she was. 

“...um. Thanks for walking me home.”

That was polite enough.

“Andromeda Yuu…” Kaito scratched his chin a little, ignoring the gate guards confused look at his appearance. Who needed shoes! Slippers were fine! Who cared if he looked like he literally just walked out of bed! He had! Who cared if-- “That’s a nice name… by the way, I don’t usually dress like this, I’m really sorry about my appearance, I wasn’t expecting to--”

“You don’t seem the wall climbing type.” Maki interrupted. “Was there someone you were trying to avoid?”

Andromeda looked over at Kaito, a little puzzled. It did look like he was in his pajamas, but...that just meant that it was kind of impromptu, his decision to get some air. Likely invited by Maki, who didn’t look like she’d just rolled out of bed. But, like...why would she care if Kaito went to bed in pajamas and not a three-piece suit or something? It was fine. 

Maki’s question was more pointed and topical. And...Andromeda got the feeling she’d just get mad if she tried to dodge the question. A lot like Denji, actually…

Andromeda’s face, which she’d tried to take breaths to cool, started to pink again. “...I’m not really. Athletic, I mean… I…” The succubus looked to the side, just...radiating embarrassment like she’d been doing since the two found her. “...people get weird ideas if you leave in the middle of the night and you’re not, like...living or working there.”

“Yeah, I feel that.” Kaito nodded, giving her a quick, curious look… before grinning brightly at her, “And that’s another great reason to have someone walk you out! A person walking at home at 2am gets weird, pointed attention! A group of people heading out? Well, then it’s not any individual getting looked at! Just people hanging out!”

“They’re absolutely looking specifically at you, Kaito.” Maki pointed out dryly, looking around curiously at the muted city lights. “Especially looking like that.”

“Okay, well, fine! That’s fine! Wh-who cares about that! Let ‘em gossip!”

“Kaito’s right though, if you were visiting someone in the castle, they should have at least walked you out.” Maki said, before giving the woman a pointed look, “Unless they’re not aware you left?”

“Maki, don’t give her the third degree, it’s her own business. People are allowed to visit the castle and lots of people live there.” Kaito tsked, “She’s not an assassin. She’s obviously not an assassin. She couldn’t even get up the wall. It’s fine.”

Maki made a small, huffing noise… though she didn’t have a good argument against that.

Well...that just saved her from the scrutiny from the gate guards and anyone else around the area. Which would still be a little embarrassing, but...Maki and Kaito were literally some of the worst people to catch her leaving. But that’s the way the cookie crumbled, and now she just had to sweep up the crumbs without making a bigger mess. 

“Ng!” 

Andromeda stiffened at Maki’s pointed question. But defending herself would just be making a bigger mess. 

Denji wasn’t...technically aware that she’d left, but they’d both agreed that Andromeda wasn’t spending the night. Even staying as late as she had had been something of a mistake. They’d been looking through old fashion catalogs together when Denji had fallen asleep and...well, Andromeda hadn’t wanted to wake them up to say goodbye. 

But she hadn’t just ditched!!

...but that wasn’t what Maki had been asking. 

Andromeda looked between Maki and Kaito, a little baffled. Denji said they were a little crazy, but...an assassin?! “Whoa, hey…” she grimaced. “I’m not… Was that why you wanted to walk me home?”

“No!”

“Yes.”

“People can have multiple reasons for doing anything!” Kaito relented, shrugging as he looked around the city curiously, “Like, for instance, I’ve only ever walked through the city at night… twice before? I can never get over how quiet it is at night! Back in Luminary-- oh, we’re from Luminary by the way-- the city area around the palace is just as loud and busy at night as during the day.”

“That’s not entirely true.” Maki shrugged, “Things usually calm down at around 3am. Even the night people are tired by then.”

“Well, you would know.” Kaito laughed, before giving Andromeda a mildly apologetic look, “If it makes you feel any better, we would have thought anyone trying to sneak over the wall might have been assassination material. Like… it’s not a you thing. It’s mostly a ‘sneaking over the wall’ thing.”

Well, that was...maybe better than being caught doing what she was actually doing. Only maybe, since they didn’t try to eviscerate her on the spot. 

Giving Kaito and Maki a slightly exasperated look, Andromeda shook her head, finally really starting to calm down from her embarrassment. “You two are something else… I would hope anyone crazy enough to plan out assassinations would be better at climbing walls. ...or had better planning skills than to go over the wall at two in the morning… Otherwise they’re crazy and stupid.”

Sighing slightly, Andromeda turned her wide, bored eyes around the city. “There’s still places with a night life at this time, but they try to keep the noise down. Or, at least they’re not built around residential areas.”

“Most assassins are definitely crazy.” Kaito laughed.

“And the rest are usually stupid.” Maki agreed, not feeling a need to defend her kind at all. “Intelligence and common sense aren’t requirements, most of the time. Patience and willingness is usually enough, at least for a while.”

“Ah, let’s not talk about all that.” Kaito sighed, scratching the back of his neck, “That’s a morbid topic, and like I said, it was all a misunderstanding anyway. Man, some 2am nightlife… hey, Maki, do you want too--”

“You’re in pajamas.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Kaito said, laughing sheepishly, “I only wanted to look, but… well, also, I don’t want Kokichi and Shuich to worry if one of them wakes up. Not that it’s super likely. Those two sleep like the dead.”

Kaito looked around, honestly super curious. Now that he was out here, he felt excited! Out in the world, a night on the town! ...not really, not actually, but it felt familiar. Like what he might have done… nah, what he definitely would be doing right now back in Luminary. Plus, he didn’t think he had been down this way before. 

“...still, it does feel pretty peaceful out here.” Kaito laughed, giving Andromeda a sheepish look, “Maybe this really was unnecessary. Thank you so much for indulging us! I know Maki-roll and I can be a lot sometimes.”

“Great,” Andromeda sighed, a little bit of snarky humor in her voice. “Can’t even buy my innocence with incompetence. At least for planning.” Considering her failure to climb the wall was what Kaito pointed out initially, she figured that was the hinging point for her not being a threat to the castle inhabitants. 

Stiffening slightly at the mention of Kokichi and...well, presumably Shuuichi was their partner, she gave Kaito a shrug. “It’s alright… I’d take an escort over anything else you’d do to follow your suspicions of me. Still…”

She gave Maki a sheepish look. “...you said no before, but...please, can you guys keep this to yourselves? It’s embarrassing…”

“Who would we tell?” Kaito asked, shrugging, “Maki?”

“No ones dead in the morning and nothing is missing?” Maki clarified, “Then I have no desire to share your business with anyone.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet, Maki-roll,”  Kaito grinned, reaching over Andromeda’s shoulder to grasp Maki’s real quick, giving her a friendly shake as she rolled her eyes at him, “But, yeah, like she said. We’re not looking to embarrass you. It’s not our business what you were doing, so long as you weren’t hurting anyone. And I don’t think you were.”

Besides, if anyone could sympathise with the good ol’ ‘walk of shame’, it was Kaito. The goal was to get her home safely, and then head back themselves, everyone safe and none-harassed and no one called out for just enjoying someone’s compan--

… Kaito’s face suddenly went beet red.

Oh.

He knew where he knew her from.

… uh… well, th-that! That didn’t change anything. Whether she was at the castle for pleasure, o-or business, she still deserved to safely get home! He was… mostly just embarrassed because the last time he had seen this chick, he had been… nnnnnn, that had been humiliating… 

“HA HA HA ANYWAY!” Kaito said way too loudly, trying to muscle through his embarrassment, “Which one of these buildings is yours, we’ll walk you to your door and wish you a good night!”

Andromeda let the last bit of tension in her back ease, finally relieved. She certainly hadn’t hurt anyone, so no busy-bodies would go poking and asking questions that neither she nor Denji were really to talk to other people about yet. Even if Denji had told her that they and Kokichi bickered constantly all the time, Andromeda didn’t want to put them in that sort of situation--they had their sensitive sides too.

“Thank you,” she murmured, continuing to walk along for a bit before… Her brow furrowed a bit as Kaito...looked embarrassed and was talking way too loud. 

For fuck’s sake, he couldn’t just not remember entirely, huh?

...hopefully he’d keep to that promise. 

Shrinking into her jacket again, Andromeda gave a nod and pointed to a three-story building with balconies coming out of the sides, the brick an ashy black. “...ye...yeah. You two have a good night too…”

Maki raised an eyebrow at Kaito’s sudden shift in demeanor, before giving Andromeda a small nod goodbye, “Night. Don’t fall off any more walls.”

“HA HA HA so funny, Maki-roll you are so funny, come on let’s go, night Andromeda!” Kaito laughed, giving her a wave as she headed down the sidewalk leading into her building.

They said goodbye, but they still waited to see she managed to get inside alright, not locking herself out or something, Kaito groaned when she was out of earshot, shoving his palms into his eyes, “Nnnnngh.”

“You gonna explain why you’re suddenly acting like a spaz around her?” Maki asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s nothing… I’ve met her once before, at… I think she works there? She might just have been there, I think Kokichi thought she was a student. She was hanging out at the strip club.”

“...what’s a strip club?” Maki asked.

“Kind of like a brothel show?” Kaito explained, “But not really, I think. Like, they don’t have sex for show, they just do strip teases and stuff.”

“Oh, right. I guess it’s in the name.” Maki paused, looking over her shoulder at the building, “Well, that’s more reason to walk her home. People get too casual and bold with sex workers.”

“Yeah. Anyway, the strip club offered me a coupon to come visit and I got real paranoid about it and… heh.” Kaito looked embarrassed, though there was something slightly pleased in it as he said, “My luck, I swear, this was the time Kokichi took my paranoia at total face value. I thought they were trying to lure me into some shit or something with that--”

“Like the brothel and dance invites at home?” Maki asked.

“-- they were relentless those last few years! I was like, oh noooo, this shit followed me here? Ugh. But anyway, so Kokichi heard me complaining about them thinking I was stupid and easy to trick, and he got all up in arms and went to go confront them himself on my behalf--”

“...aw.”

“--right!? It was so cool! And entirely unnecessary, I could tell the second I got there, it was just a bunch of people working, sending out ads… I was so embarrassed. My husband going to treat a bunch of his people like they’re some conspiring assholes because his stupid, paranoid husbad couldn’t keep his damn fears to himself...”

“Hmmm…”

“You could reassure me a little Maki.”

“You know why you were afraid. I would have agreed with you if I was there. You already know that. Why do I need to say it?”

“...yeah.”

The two walked in silence for a while. 

“So you didn’t end up going to the strip club?” Maki guessed, considering it took Kaito so long to recognize Andromeda.

“What? No, of course not, could you imagine if I did that? That’d break Kokichi and Shuichi’s heart.”

“Mmm.”

“And I don’t need it. It’s not worth the stress it’d put my family in, I have a literal infant and a nine year old to take care of, I don’t need to be running off to strip clubs and fucking strangers just because I get horny sometimes. It’s not even kind of worth it.”

“Makes sense to me.”

“Yeah... are you not saying something?”

“Not all of my silence is loaded. There’s nothing more to say about it. I agree with you, it wouldn’t be worth it and it would put Shuich and Kokichi through a lot of stress. And you really don’t have the time for it anyway. What more is there to say about it?”

“Yeah! ...thanks, Maki.”

Maki nodded, “Let's just get you home. Hopefully no one even noticed you left. What a strange way the night turned.”

“I wonder who she was visiting? ...It doesn’t really matter, I guess.”

-

Often, these days, Kokichi did notice Kaito getting up in the middle of the night, and other than just wishing that he was talking about it with Miss Crystal, Kokichi just hunkered down and hoped Kaito would return soon. 

That night, Kokichi didn’t wake up right as Kaito did, but, eventually, he did notice that his back was getting cold. So, naturally, he figured that Kaito was out on his rounds again. 

...but Kokichi waited. And waited. And that dip of the mattress and warmth pressed against him again didn’t happen. 

...did something happen again? Kokichi hoped that the kids were doing better… Maybe Tim had gotten sick, and Kaito was staying with him? Maybe someone was coming home really drunk and Kaito was helping them to their room?

Fisting the front of his shirt in nervous bunches, Kokichi slipped out of bed, heading out to go find his missing husband.

Kaito and Maki were just heading up the stairs, Kaito back to yawning, having lost the adrenaline of going out and seeing things as they got back to the castle. He and Maki were idly talking about different types of trainings they could give the kids now, Maki making the argument that the trio might be ready to start learning techniques beyond basic fitness, Kaito reminding her they just spent the last two days fixing the entire venting system because of them…

“Oh,” Kaito gave Kokichi a sheepish, sleepy grin, “Hey babe. Sorry, I’m coming back to bed.”

Kokichi had been doddering around the hall a bit, not quite awake enough to think of a plan and too worried to act on instinct, leading him to go in slow circles down their hall and Tim’s. However, as he saw Kaito and Maki coming up the stairs, he froze, something welling up in him. 

So many times Kokichi had run forward into his husband’s arms when they’d been apart for a while, but this time Kokichi just sighed and sleepily plodded forward, tipping his head against Kaito’s chest, skin warm as always, but slightly chilled from the night air. “Good… s’ late…”

Letting his shirt go, Kokichi gently reached out to touch Maki’s shoulder affectionately as well, just a soft brush. “Le’s go to bed…”

Maki snorted at the little reunion, giving them both a nod as she said, “Goodnight you two. See you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Maki.” Kaito grinned, taking Kokichi’s hand and saying softly, “Come on, sleepy ‘Kichi. Bed time. I’ll explain myself in the morning.”

Kokichi gave Maki a little wave and closed his eyes, letting Kaito mostly guide him back to their room and back to bed. “Mm… I worry when y’r out for a long time… Makes me think you’ve found the trouble you’re checking for…”

“Aw, I’m sorry babe. No, there wasn’t any trouble.” Kaito promised, pulling back the blanket and letting Kokichi plob and crawl his way back to his coveted middle spot, Shuichi entirely undisturbed at the talking, rustling, and dips. He tossed his slippers off and crawled in next to Kokichi, settling in with a sigh. 

“Only trouble was Maki feeling restless. She asked to go on a night hike, so we went on a walk. Ended up walking way further than we expected. Sorry again… I don’t mean to make you worry.” Katio said, leaning over to kiss at Kokichi’s temple before settling in beside him. “Everything’s okay.”

Kokichi immediately nestled back into bed, but this time he was turned around, putting his arms around Kaito and pressing his back to Shuuichi. Not really for anything like holding Kaito in bed, but...well, his husband had been gone, and now he wanted to cuddle for the few moments before sleep claimed him again. He was tired…

“Mm… You guys have a good walk? M glad you can do stuff like that still...even if I worry.”

Kaito yawned, snaking his arm around Kokichi’s back, not enough to dislodge him from Shuichi’s side, but just tucking his hand in as he scooted in close, letting Kokichi throw a leg around him if he wanted too. Kaito tried to not do the same, as he’d very likely accidentally pin Kokichi down. Fun for some circumstances! Not so much if his husband needed to pee in the middle of the night.

“We talked a lot, but not really about much?” Maki had wanted to talk about more, but Andromeda had kind of saved Kaito from that conversation. He was glad. He just… didn’t know how to talk about that stuff. “It was nice. The city is pretty and quiet at night. You have a pretty city, Kokichi.”

“Mm.” Kokichi was still listening, thank you very much, as he nodded against Kaito’s chest, taking the offer and hooking his top leg around Kaito’s, though around his calf since Kokichi couldn’t reach his ankle. “S’mtimes it’s good to jus’ talk an’ not say much…”

He smiled against his husband’s skin, feeling pride and relief. He knew it would never be Luminary, but...he hoped that Kaito could consider this place home too. “Yeah? I think so too… ‘ve liked the feeling of walkin’ around the quiet buildings when we’ve done it before…”

“Mmmm. I’m gonna steal you away some night, take you walking at some ungodly hour.” Kaito promised, chuckling lightly, a small rumble against Kokichi’s head, “We’ll breathe some fresh air and talk about nothing and enjoy your city… it’ll be nice.”

“But, your big, brute of a husband woke you up and made you look for him,” Kaito sighed, kissing at Kokichi’s head a bit, before snuggling into his pillow, “And my sleepy ‘Kichi should go to sleep… I told the kids we were gonna do training after school tomorrow, since they worked so hard this weekend. I’m gonna do something fun with them. So, all that to say, you can sleep in a bit if you want to, ‘Kichi… no training in the morning.”

Kokichi smiled, enjoying the rumble of Kaito’s laugh and the steady beat under his ears. That did sound nice. As much as he’d wandered around the city on his own, Kokichi had always tried to make it home before dark. Every time he and Kaito had left, as he said, was something almost magical in how different, and yet comfortingly similar things were. Maybe they could take Miya sometime, when she was old enough to be awake, and they could find a big hill like the one the playground he and Kaito found was on, and look at the stars…

Sighing happily, Kokichi lightly kissed Kaito’s chest and let the waves of sleep tug him away. “Def’nately takin’ advantage of that… G’night, Kai-chan…”

-

“It’s called dodgeball!”

Maki and Kaito had put down a rope line as a divider, and had scrunched up a variety of balls, which were lined up in the center. Cali, Kimiko and Tim were curiously watching them set up, until Kaito turned to them, saying, “Now! ...Does Dicea have dodgeball?”

“Yes!” Cali shouted, jumping as she did, already looking pumped, “You throw and you dodge!”

“Accurate! So, when you get hit by the ball? Instead of waiting to be brought back in, what I want you guys to do is run a lap around the arena! Once you’ve done your lap, back to your team, grab a ball, kick butt! If your ball is grabbed? Lap! You guys get it?”

“How do you win?” Tim asked.

“Not the point of this game. It’s just meant to be a lot of continuous movement. The winners are the ones who have fun and get some good exercise!”

The three kids looked very unimpressed. 

“...” Kaito sighed, “Shuichi!” 

“Hm?” Shuich said from the tree.

“Can you keep track of how many laps every team does?”

“Sure.” Shuchi said, taking out his notebook, mostly just enjoying the sun through the shade of the tree.

“There. Whichever team has the least laps, win.”

“YAY!” Cali crowed.

Kokichi finished up stretching out his legs, giving them a little extra since he’d been sitting all morning, working on the first batch of request forms for Zenith. It really was right around the corner, huh…

This would be good practice for some of the events. 

“How are we picking teams?” Kokichi asked, giving the kids a look before sighing. “If it’s kids versus adults, even if we have Maki-chan, that’s no fair… Kai-chan and I are such big targets.”

And considering the arena they’d laid out, the extra throwing power the adults had wasn’t necessary. Kokichi...hoped it wouldn’t come into play at all, honestly--the balls they’d taken from one of the recreation supply closets were soft, but a high-speed impact to the face was painful in any form. (And even if they were facing parallel to the castle, Kokichi really didn’t want to worry about a stray breaking a window.)

“Mmmmm… Maki?”

“I’ll take Timothy and Kokichi.” Maki said.

“Hmmmm, alright. Cali, Kimiko? You ladies alright playing with me?” Kaito asked, grinning down at the girls, who bounced on their toes.

“Yeah! Let’s do it! Let’s crush them!”

“I’m not very good at catching, but I’m good at dodging, Mister Kaito!”

“Timothy, Kokichi?” Maki asked, looking to them, “Any complaints?”

Timothy shook his head, “Are we going to destroy them?”

“Of course.” Maki scoffed.

Kokichi grinned. Really, Maki was the most stand-out player, but they all had their strengths. Between her overall prowess, Tim’s sturdy nature to endure through feints, and Kokichi’s quick dodging, they could do it. 

Giving his teammates a grin, Kokichi pumped his fists in front of himself excitedly. “I’ll do my best. My aim and power isn’t as good as you guys’, but I hope they’ll work well as traps. Let’s do this!”

The six of them spread out on their sides, equidistant from the rope where all the balls were. And, asking Shuuichi to give them a countdown, when he called it, they were off!! Kokichi surged forward, hoping to grab a ball and maybe roll another back towards their side before skittering back, hoping to throw right before Maki or Tim threw one of theirs. 

Kaito and Cali leapt forward, while Kimiko hung back, grabbing a ball as Kaito managed to knocked one back to her, but his other hand, which grasped a ball… and immediately left his hand, as Maki smirked down at him, ripping the ball from his hand and then immediately bonked him on the head with it.

Timothy, in turn, leapt for the ball that Kokichi sent backwards, like Kaito, leaping forward on his stomach for it, but he glanced up at Cali, who was trying to do what Maki did and get him on the downward fly.

Timothy held his ball up, blocking the hit as the ball bounced against his.

“Mister Kaito, run, run!” Kimiko shouted, as Kaito chuckled, shuffling up and running outside the arena, lapping as quickly as he could as the battle raged on.

Kimiko leapt left, leapt right, spun with a giggle at Kokichi’s throw to hit her, dodging the ball, before throwing her ball back in the spin at him next too.

Kokichi believed in his husband but...he had a feeling Kaito would be running laps more than playing the game today. He giggled as Kimiko pirouetted away from his throw, fully aware that she would’ve been able to dodge it even normally, but this was just...her. Her gleeful style of play that didn’t compromise effect for style. 

Though, as he dodged her ball too, he figured that they weren’t the best opponents to go head to head--two dodging experts wouldn’t make any headway. 

Running back a little, Kokichi tried to scoop up the ball Tim had deflected from Cali, his eyes glancing to his teammates first. Maki could easily claim another ball herself, but...throwing power would be better suited to her hands. 

“Maki-chan, on your right!” he called out, giving her an easy toss to grab.

Maki glanced right briefly, reaching out her hand and grasping the ball as Kokichi threw it towards her, and because Maki was also here just to have a good time, smirked, threw--

“Ow! Aw.” Kaito grumbled, the ball bouncing off his chest, catching it as it fell, before tossing it to Cali with a grin as he ran back out of the arena. “Kill em, Cali!”

“YEAAAAAH~ Kimi!” Cali shouted, Tim’s eyes widening as, having drifted to the other side of the arena since Kimiko didn’t have a ball, not seeing Cali throwing her ball to Kimiko coming at all, as his black eyed friend laughed, spun~

Tim huffed, kicked the dirt a second after the ball bounced off his head, before running out of the arena, running as fast as he could to get back in the game!

Kokichi snorted, amused to see his hypothesis playing out. It’d be a good example for not being a sore loser, he supposed. 

Though he didn’t think any of the kids were going to have a problem with that. Interesting… Cali really was a learn by doin’ gal. So it would probably do not to do new things all the time.

Collecting a ball, Kokichi took a breath and threw it at Cali, trying not to arc it too much and make for an easy catch.

Cali, in turn, was about to learn a lesson in bad sportsmanship, as she was currently laughing and delighting in watching Tim run past her, her eyes entirely off the field as she started to stick out her tong- BONK!

“AWWWWWW!” Cali groaned loudly, before suddenly looking determined as she shouted, “AHHHHHHHHH!!!” As she ran! 

“Uh oh.” Kaito chuckled, getting back in the arena before, learning his lesson this time, throwing himself back on his back as Maki’s ball soared over his head. Then, scrambling back onto his front, he shuffled forward, collecting balls and, one after another, trying to throw at Kokichi and Maki.

Maki just straight up did a split on the spot, dropping down onto her hips, because she is Extra like that.

He hit!

Sure, Cali hadn’t been paying attention at all, and she was nine, but...Kokichi was still going to take it! He took a little excited hop as his victory before moving on, not about to make the same mistake. 

However, that didn’t matter too much. 

Maki, predictably, could dodge nearly anything, but while Kokichi could dodge the one that missed her and the first ball that Kaito threw right at him, Kokichi couldn’t change directions in time to avoid the second, the ball bonking off his shoulder. 

With a sigh, Kokichi got out of the battlefield, but before he started jogging, he gave his husband a thumbs up, grinning widely at him. “Nice throw, Kai-chan!”

“Thanks babe- Maki no!” 

Kaito scrambled forward as Maki immediately started throwing balls at him, one ball, two-- oh! Her third ball backfired on her, as Kaito spread his arms wide, closed his eyes, and just took a wild air grab, catching her ball on the third throw. 

“Woo! Run a lap, Miss Maki!” Kimiko howled, jumping for joy. 

Maki, to her credit, immediately headed out, not hurrying as Timothy got back into the arena… only to find he was entirely by himself as Kokichi was still finishing his lap. Meanwhile, Cali was back in, and Tim looked around to see there was only one ball on his side, his mom having just thrown all the balls trying to hit Kaito. 

“Aw, kid.” Kaito grinned, as Kimiko and Cali all grabbed balls for themselves, focusing on him, “Try not to hold it against us.”

Shuichi watched as the balls flew… and was incredibly impressed as Tim, narrowing his eyes and bending his knees, took his one ball, and one after another, knocked every. Single. Ball off of himself! Unable to offense in any way, unable to dodge as they came from all sides, but using his ball as a shield as the balls flew, waiting for his teammates help!

Kokichi could’ve sprinted the lap, but over the past months of working out, he’d gotten much better at managing his stamina. As it was he wasn’t dawdling, wanting to get back in the action and back Tim up, but...huh. It did give him time to glance over at the game. 

Kokichi grinned wide and bright, feeling a deep pride for his nephew. He really had it in him to achieve anything he wanted. 

“That was amazing, Tim!!” Kokichi cheered as he got back onto the playing field, keeping up his pace from running to scoop up some of the balls that Tim had deflected. “Our defense master!” 

“Uh oh.” Kaito grinned sheepishly, taking a step backwards as Kokichi got back, scooping up balls that they had just provided in abundance. 

Timothy was panting, looking a little intense, clutching his ball like a lifeline, nodding at Kokichi’s praise. Maki in turn trotted in, patting Timothy’s shoulder approvingly, before grabbing a ball from Kokichi, turning back to the group. Staying silent, idly tossing her ball up and down, waiting for a cue…

Tim realized she, and maybe Uncle Kokichi too, were waiting on his cue as Kaito, Kimiko and Cali all started giggling nervously, Kimiko the only one with a ball.

“... Try not to hold it against us.” Tim grinned.

Kaito laughed, but he turned his back, grabbing Kimiko and Cali and drawing them in to cover them both, Kimiko squeaking and Cali straight up screaming as balls pelted Kaito’s back from the sky. “Grab a ball, Cali!” Kaito instructed. 

Cali reached out for a ball, and as the balls stopped flying, Kaito let his teammates go, running off for his lap, Kimiko and Cali letting their balls fly back as soon as Kaito was cleared.

Kokichi laughed, watching Kaito sacrifice himself for the girls, ever the hero. However, there was no time for a grand speech as the game was back on!

They kept going for quite a while, all until they were panting and pink-faced--except Maki, but she had some sweat on her brow too--and Kokichi wagered they’d been going for a little over an hour. He’d lost track of how many laps he did, how many hits he got, though he remembered, if only from the momentary terror, accidentally hitting someone who came out the backdoors, looking a little stunned but laughing it off when Kokichi began to frantically apologize, only for that lapse to earn him two body shots. 

It really was the sort of game Kokichi could appreciate in its own right, but there was still a moment of truth to come. 

Plopping down beside Shuuichi, leaning against the tree as he caught his breath, Kokichi gently nudged his boyfriend. “So? Who...who won?”

“Hm?” Shuichi asked, drawing a picture of the group playing dodgeball, photography accurate, if not incredibly detailed. “You think I was actually counting? ...kidding,” Shuichi laughed lightly, showing Kokichi the other page of his journal, which had a list of tally’s, “You guys won. Maki never gave Kaito a chance.”

Looking over to the field, Shuichi smiled softly as he said, “They have to know that themselves. No one seems all that broken hearted about it, thankfully.”

Maki was laying out in the grass, just letting the air cool her skin, while Kaito was throwing the ball, Cali running to catch it while Kimiko and Timothy went to show Chase some affection, throwing her one of the small balls to chase, the dog having been told to sit by Shuichi throughout the game to not be stepped on, and now with bundles of energy to spend.

“You have fun?” Shuichi asked, giving Kokichi a fond look, “You’re all sweaty. It’s attractive.”

Kokichi snorted, no doubt in his mind for even a second that Shuuichi had counted, and while he’d had a feeling, it was still a nice feeling to confirm that his team won. Even if it didn’t matter that much. The kids seemed pretty preoccupied, so at least for a while, their prize was a fun game and a good workout. 

“He was pretty good at anticipating her throws at the end there,” Kokichi hummed, sliding down the bark more to sprawl out on the grass. “At least for the ones trying to get him out as soon as he finished a lap.”

Looking over at Shuuichi, returning his fond look, Kokichi snickered as he threw his fists in the air. “It was a blast! I don’t think I’ve had fun like that since we had that snowball fight with Hajime-chan and Chiaki-chan.”

“And, ooooh?” Kokichi raised an eyebrow. “Shuu-chan has a thing for sweat? I thought it was only me giving Kai-chan lovey looks after a workout.”

Shuichi laughed lightly at that, not having expected the call out, but shrugging with a smile. “All my best friends are jocks. Apparently I have a ‘type’. Kaede was her own version of fit too, if I'm totally honest, though not to Kaito or Maki’s standards.”

“Or~” Shuichi smiled, leaning over to give Kokichi a small kiss on the cheek, sweat and all, “~maybe I’m taking a page out of Kaito’s book, and I’m just Kokichi-sexual. It’s just enough that you're happy and healthy and apparently sweaty too.”

“...and look, let’s be honest, Kaito post workout is anyone’s cup of tea.” Shuichi snickered.

Kokichi beamed at the kiss, tilting his head to press affectionately against Shuuichi’s arm before he relaxed again. He was alright, but the sweat was there for a reason, and Kokichi felt like he’d be happy lounging around and taking it easy for the rest of the day. “Mmm, whether I’m fitting into Shuu-chan’s type, or that I am his type, that’s something I can be happy about too. Especially since it means I can lounge by you after training and not make you grimace and gripe about how gross I am.”

Because it was kind of gross, even if Kokichi had his own love for it. 

Sighing wistfully, Kokichi turned his gaze out towards where his husband and Cali were still playing around. “For sure~ When we come back to our room and Kai-chan’s just in sweatpants and he’s stretching a little before heading to the shower?” Kokichi brought a hand up to kiss his fingers. 

“Also, apparently people were ogling him when he was cleaning the vents and took his shirt off, and Hajime-chan had to yell at them to take their breaks elsewhere. At least to some people, Kai-chan’s popular~”

“...” Shuichi laughed a little at himself, “That thought makes me such a weird mix of smug and annoyed. I know Kaito loves that kind of attention, so I’ll never be mean to him about it, but…” Shuichi’s huffed, “Well, they can ogle all they like, I guess. He’s not available.”

Cali ran to her friends as the two took a break from tossing the ball back and forth, Kaito going to sit next to Maki, cheerfully saying something to her, likely just checking in. The kids all, one by one, ended up laying down on the grass too, Kimiko saying something and Cali laughing hysterically, and while Shuichi had to squint to see it, he was pretty sure Tim was smiling too.

Shuichi sighed, content despite his mixed feelings on the way his boyfriend drew eyes to himself. “It’s a really nice day.”

-

Kokichi honestly hadn’t expected things to move along so quickly, but...it was good! It was really good. Knowing whether Ford would be a good fit for Shuuichi as soon as possible let them know whether to keep looking through therapists, and if he was a good fit then...it let them plan out how appointments were going to work. And, honestly, even if they had to work something out for Ford to come to the castle...Kokichi really wanted Shuuichi to have someone to talk to while he was in recovery. While he was on bedrest and would have even less direct agency in his life. 

For Kokichi, who’d dealt with it sporadically his entire life, bedrest was frustrating and maddening. He didn’t want it to get to that point for Shuuichi, at least without him being able to get some help with it. 

But...things were moving along quickly. Kokichi had reached out to Ford and...the therapist had agreed to meet with them. So there Kokichi and Shuuichi were, Kokichi feeling like almost a weird echo of the time he’d first escorted Kaito to Ford’s office. He glanced at the bench outside, remembering all the times he’d waited there, while Kaito was…

Kokichi took a breath and gently squeezed Shuuichi’s hand. “So...we’re just meeting today, you know? Not really getting into therapy. I mean...I guess you could if it naturally happens but...that’s up to you. We’re just seeing if you two vibe well together, then we can figure out what to do from there. No pressure.”

“... this sucks more than I thought it would.” Shuichi admitted, squeezing Kokichi’s hand back, adjusting his cap with his other fretfully, a tired look on his face. “Honestly, I feel a new sympathy for Kaito, back when he was doing this. I feel like I’m being set up for a date, and my date is incredibly judgy… but I’m still worried about making a bad impression…”

Shuishi frowned, looking annoyed, as he said, “Which is ridiculous. If anything, Dr. Ford needs to impress me, not the other way around… but it doesn’t feel like that.”

“... Also there’s the whole ‘our family got him kidnapped’ thing…” Shuichi sighed, hiding under his cap a little, “Maybe this is doomed from the start.”

Kokichi nodded slightly, though there was a grim humor in his eyes. “When I told Dr. Egami that’s how I feel a lot of the time meeting new people, he said that’s definitely the anxiety talking. Which doesn’t necessarily mean you have anxiety, but-” Kokichi gave his boyfriend a blunt, knowing look. 

“...also, talking like that is just self-sabotage, more than any history we have. If you talk about how it’s doomed, you saying that is dooming yourself.” Kokichi knew it wasn’t that easy to get out of that mindset, but...saying it over and over helped a little. 

Sighing a little, Kokichi turned his stubborn gaze to the path ahead of them, almost at the door. “...Dr. Ford is a professional. If he didn’t think that he might be able to be someone you could talk to, or that his personal feelings would get in the way of being the best therapist he could, he wouldn’t have agreed to this meeting. That’s why he turned down Kai-chan from being his patient anymore. If you feel like that history is too much for you, then we’ll keep looking, but...today’s just about seeing how it goes.”

Taking a breath, Kokichi knocked on the door.

Shuichi sighed, nodding, still gripping Kokich’s hand. Anxiety… heh. Yeah.

Shuichi had plenty more energy to fret with, and poor Miyako was apparently well aware of Shuichi’s nerves, fussing and moving around inside of him. “Shhh…” Shuichi sighed, rubbing his stomach, “It’s okay… what’s that way Kaito says her name? M~iiiiiiya… oh come on, you settle down when he does it.” Shuichi grouched, trying again, “M~iiiiiya… everything’s oka-eep.” 

Shuichi’s face burnt red, embarrassed to be caught trying to essentially coo to the air, as the door opened…

Dr. Ford, wearing a flowy, comfortable suit, light, tan colors, with a colorful scarf over his shoulders, big enough to almost be called a shawl, and his beard grown out a little more since the last time Kokichi saw him… but otherwise still calm. Still reassuring. Still with friendly eyes, as he looked between the two of them for a moment, before smiling softly, “Well, Prince Kokichi. This feels familiar, doesn’t it?”

He chuckled lightly at that, the baritone sound coming from deep within his chest, before immediately turning his attention to Shuichi, reaching out to shake Shuichi’s hand, clasping Shuichi’s long, thin fingers with both his own large, meaty hands and shaking them warmly. “Mr. Shuichi Saihara. It’s an honor to finally meet you.”

“...it is?” Shuichi said uncertainly, struggling to stand up, Ford hardening his grip to help Shuichi brace, “Um, I mean, I apologize…”

“Do not apologize, and yes, it is an honor. I’ve wished to meet you for some time now. If this meeting today only accomplishes one thing, it’s I get to finally tell you what an inspiration you’ve been, to so many of my other patients.”

Shuichi’s eyes widened, entirely taken off guard. “...really?”

Dr. Ford smiled, “Yes, really. Please, both of you come in. Follow me.”

(This was probably the first time that Kokichi got the inkling that, ah. Kaito was going to be her favorite, wasn’t he.)

Kokichi smiled at Dr. Ford as he greeted him, though he delayed his own greeting for the doctor to focus on Shuuichi first--he didn’t want Shuuichi to feel like an add-on to his own appointment. And...while he was a little surprised that Shuuichi was an inspiration (Though it totally made sense! Shuuichi was a wonderful person to be inspired by!) Kokichi chuckled softly and put a hand on Shuuichi’s back, helping to steady him as they came into the office. 

“I was a little struck with nostalgia, I’ll be honest. But I’m looking forward to new things. Thanks for seeing us, Dr. Ford. It’s good to see you.” The real him, even if Kokichi had barely interacted with the fake Ford. And maybe it was just bias, but...that odd feeling Kokichi thought he had been getting when he picked Kaito up from his appointments wasn’t there this time. 

It was probably just in his head, but Kokichi could do with not feeling uncomfortable. 

They were led back to that faintly familiar couch, and Kokichi let himself be available to help Shuuichi back down before sitting down himself, still next to him, but giving Shuuichi some room to breathe. And...while Kokichi felt the compulsion for smiles and small talk, he delayed himself again, giving Dr. Ford and Shuuichi time to talk to each other without his intervention.

Shuichi quietly thanked Kokichi as he settled down into the couch, Dr. Ford going to sit on his leather armchair, straightening his scarf a moment before giving them both a warm smile. “Now, forgive me. My Fein roots always urges me to be polite and offer some sort of accommodation, but there are a few ground rules that this office follows now, considering my new specialty. Fresh cups are kept over on the counter there, and as you might notice, Kokichi, there’s a newly installed sink in this room, next to that heating plate and bowl. My patients are welcomed too, and encouraged, drink water and, if they’d like, bring in their own teas to mix and warm… but I do not put together drinks for them.”

Shuich was confused, at first, why Dr. Ford brought that up in the first place… but after a moment he understood, nodding, something almost sad in it as he said, “A lot of your patients get nervous being handed drinks?”

“It’s an extremely common trigger, yes.” Dr. Ford nodded, running his hand over his beard as he said, “The brewery was the big, public incident that brought everything to light, but once people started recognizing the symptoms, putting two and two together? It turns out, this has been a quiet epidemic for a while, in Dicea.” 

“Strangers, likely members of the Death Cult, visiting a town, one or two people start acting erratically, and either the symptoms disappear entirely by themselves, or the affected people left town never to be seen again, got pregnant, or… well, had even more difficult circumstances. But the survivors recognizing their situation have reached out, and almost every single one of them found the root of their problems started by accepting drinks from people they did not know. It’s made them skittish of drinks prepared by others, and I’ve learned to account for that.”

Shuichi nodded. That made sense, though… “I’m not quite like your other patients… no one tricked me into taking doses, or had to hide it in anything to get me to take it. I… measured out my own doses, and took them straight on my own self-made schedule.” Shuichi gave a small, tired, self-deprecating smile, “I did it to myself. No worries about someone else doing it to me. I was an idiot all on my own.”

Dr. Ford didn’t seem thrown by Shuichi’s self-insult. He just smiled and crossed his arms over his wide chest, chuckling lightly as he said, “And yet, your recovery period has been remarkable. You’re a very public figure, Mr. Saihara. And it’s not unknown that among all the people affected by the epidemic, you had some of the most extreme symptoms in the shortest period of time… and when my patients are telling me they worry there’s no future for them? That there is no recovering from what they perceive as their ‘mistakes’? I point to you: Shuichi Saihara, back in school after a few months recovery, at the end of a healthy pregnancy, spore free and now entirely independent from the pollen influence, news of your rehabilitation all being a roaring success… you are, as one of my patients enjoys saying, a BGV.” Ford chuckled, miming quotation marks with his fingers as he said,his thick accent adding an almost musical element to the words, “‘Big Goals Vibes.”

“...heh.” Shuichi looked embarrassed, looking down at his hands as they squeezed at his knees, “...I… that all sounds much better than it is… I don’t feel like a goal...”

Dr. Ford smiled, “It’s often much easier, seeing someone succeed in a distance, than it is to live it. I imagine the reality is far more difficult and complicated than it looks, but I must say, to a lot of people in your situation? Your story has been incredibly impressive. It gives people hope for themselves.”

Kokichi smiled softly, looking over the little refreshment area as Dr. Ford explained its necessity. It was a good thing, to be able to recognize that sort of pattern and make an accommodation. That so many people were getting the help they needed. And...that’s what mattered. 

(Even if his stomach dropped in guilt. Thinking of all the people he’d been unable to protect.)

(...but they just had to learn from those mistakes, and treasure the people who hadn’t been able to make it out. Hold their memory close and make sure that something like that never happened to anyone else.)

And part of moving forward was recovery. Taking the next step even when it felt impossible. And for Shuuichi to be a point of hope to people struggling with their road… Kokichi brightened in pride before he gently nudged Shuuichi’s arm. “You’ve done a lot, Shuu-chan. I’d say to give yourself credit, but...when you can’t, I’ll praise and be amazed like always.”

“Do you want a drink? I can get it while you guys talk.”

Shuichi looked almost shy at Kokichi’s nudge, giving him a flustered, slightly overwhelmed look. “Thank you…” he said softly, feeling anxious and unsure, but… at the same time proud, and a little embarrassed of that pride. He didn’t feel like a success, but… it was nice to be called one… “Um, yes please, Kokichi.”

Dr. Ford gave Kokichi a pleasant glance, “Please let me know if you need any assistance.” Before turning back to Shuichi, “Now… obviously my focus these days is the trauma of Silver Root Poppies, but I am also a specialized anger management therapist, and…” Dr. Ford smiled softly, “I am also a specialist in trauma from assault. It is, unfortunately, my qualifications in assault, sexually and through violence, that has led me to being successful in my newly created field.”

“My other qualifications is that I have over two decades of experience in personal therapy, I’ve worked personally with not only Diceans but many immigrants and refugees, including many people from Luminary, many of whom are former victims of the Indentured Program. I am extremely familiar with Luminary customs and culture, and am familiar with the unique hardships that those who suffered at the lowest of the classes went through. That skillset and knowledge is something I can offer as a way to help you through your individual needs…”

“And, obviously, my cons are that we have a personal history, that is somewhat complicated…” Dr. Ford hesitated, “... I hope Prince Kaito is doing well. Turning down his request for more assistance with me was not my proudest moment, but I wasn’t practicing at the time, taking a break to recover and spend time with my family, and I didn’t feel we would be the best path forward for each other. I hope I come across as entirely sincere when I say I do not have the same fears for us. I was pleased when Prince Kokichi reached out to me. I do believe I can be a genuine help to you, Mr. Saihara.”

Shuichi nodded, “... I’m sorry for… what happened. I know Kaito would want to say that none of us wanted you to be caught up in our nonsense…”

Dr. Ford shook his head, “None of you have anything to apologize for. You are not responsible for the actions of those seeking to hurt you. Their sins are not yours.”

They hadn’t brought tea with them, so Kokichi just got Shuuichi some water, taking a little time to look at the new set up. It was...clean and self-explanatory, without being pushy, if that was a way to describe a small area to get a drink. A place where someone could whip something up without having to ask about much. Just...a small but purposeful place of autonomy. 

...Kokichi sighed softly. In a way, he wished he’d heard about Dr. Ford from the beginning. Not even to seek out therapy, or to nudge any of his loved ones into it, but...just to talk to someone who understood Luminary better. But...he supposed that it was just lucky that Shuuichi wouldn’t have to go through educating someone from the very basics about Luminary and what life there was like for someone in the program. 

Returning, Kokichi gently handed off the glass to Shuuichi before finding his seat again, the set of his shoulders dropping a bit but...feeling marginally better about it all. It hadn’t been their fault… 

“I’m glad that we got out of it safely,” Kokichi softly said, giving the therapist a small smile. “Right after and in the long run, though...I suppose this is a part of getting to that point, if not just ‘healthy’.” 

“Ah, yes! Healthy.” Dr. Ford chuckled, patting his thigh a bit as he crossed one leg over the other, “That is always the word of the day. Surviving a traumatic incident, as blasphemous as this can be to say sometimes… sometimes that’s the easiest part. It is always just the first part, at the very least. The after effects of the trauma can be long lasting, and they manifest in frustrating and baffling ways, and I can assure you, everyone is struggling with them. Some people's trauma effects are more visual than others, but trauma is not a performance, recovery is not a race, and if you are struggling with something, hiding it or minimising it is a form of self-sabotage. Asking for help is the intelligent thing to do, and I am here to help...”

“...should you decide you want it. There’s no pressure. There are many good therapists who can help you, Mr. Saihara, and if you feel uncomfortable with me, I am more than happy to recommend more names to you.” Dr. Ford said gently.

Shuich sighed. “Right… thank you.”

Ford chuckled, “I have been talking quite a bit. Let me open up the air a bit. Do either of you have any questions for me?” He glanced to Kokichi, looking amused as he said, “I have already told you once, Prince Kokichi: I value the influence people's romantic partners have towards their partners recoveries. You, and yes, Prince Kaito, are a factor. I may have refused Prince Kaito as a patient, but I won’t ignore or deny his influence to Mr. Saihara’s recovery.”

Kokichi took a small breath, relaxing himself. It was the same sort of stuff he talked about--or, rather, his therapist had told him--in therapy. There was so little in life, at least it was looking to Kokichi, that was just one and done. Everything, the happy, wonderful things and the terrifying, scarring ones just...built and built and weighed on you until you learned how to organize it all into something that you could carry more easily. Just because someone’s piles were more unbalanced didn’t mean that, altogether, it was heavier than someone else’s.

Giving Shuuichi a glance--he’d...mostly wanted Shuuichi to bring this up himself, but Kokichi didn’t want to say that he didn’t have concerns--Kokichi nodded gently. “...we’ve talked more in-depth about it in our group therapy sessions, but...I’m worried about Shuu-chan having a professional to talk to while he’s in recovery after his surgery. It’s not a deal maker or breaker, since I think that should be decided between the two of you,” Kokichi nodded again to each of them, “But...I guess I’m asking if you would be able to do house sessions. Or would be able to recommend something while Shuu-chan’s recovering.”

Dr. Ford’s warm expression didn’t change at all, though there was a small, contemplative breath that was the small measure of a sigh, as he said, “Yes, I see… may I ask, Mr. Saihara, I know you’re quite far along. How are things, regarding the pregnancy? May I ask when you’re due?”

“Seventeen days.” Shuichi said, something nervous flickering through him as he said it. “According to the doctors, everything is normal… no complications, no big surprises… Kaito found some information about children conceived during poppy transformations, and if the information can be trusted, our daughter, Miyako, will be born strong…”

“You sound nervous.”

Shuichi hesitated, before nodding. “Yes… it’s a surgery to start with, and I’ve never had a surgery before. And beyond that, everything’s different, when I wake up…”

“Children are both a gift and a dreadful responsibility.” Dr. Ford chuckled, grinning as he said, “Trust me, I am a father of two. It’s an incredibly rewarding experience, and the most nerve wracking thing you will ever do. But it is doable, and based on what I know about you, you are more than capable of doing it. But, that said? Being nervous is more than understandable. I wouldn’t personally trust a new parent who wasn’t. The nerves mean you care about the results.”

“Pregnancy recovery periods can also be uniquely challenging, sometimes. My wifes first child, she was back on her feet within a few days, despite me begging her to rest more.” Ford chuckled, shaking his head, before sighing, “Our second child? Much more difficult. Post-mortem depression, pain, lethargy… but life doesn’t stop, I’m afraid. It just requires more help, when things get challenging.”

“How often were you hoping to meet with me?”

Shuichi scratched his arm, “...our relationship therapist, Dr. Mariah, recommended once a week…”

Ford’s eyes widened a little, before nodding, “You’re working with Dr. Mariah? That woman is exceptional. She revolutionized the field, when it came to her doctorate papers on rehabilitating children with addiction issues. The woman is a genius in her own right, and is well respected in our field. If she recommended individual trauma therapy once a week?” Ford nodded, “... I would be honored to accommodate. We can start this week, and I will visit once a week on a pre-established day, checking to see if you’re physically capable of doing a session that day.”

Shuichi gripped his pant legs, “...I’ve already tried personalized therapy. I’ve been working with Miss Crystal…”

Ford nodded, recognizing that name as well, “Dr. Crystal. I’ve heard of her as well. If I recall… she’s well known for navigating neurosis behavior, specializing in anger management? I’ve heard her success rate is admirable.”

“She really seems to be helping Kaito. She’s nice, she’s friendly, and he really does seem to be benefitting from her… sort of strange practices.” Shuichi said, hesitating, “...but I haven't personally felt like I’ve gotten anything from our sessions together. I don’t know if its her, or me, or… maybe I just can’t be helped by therapy…”

“Sometimes therapy takes many attempts, with different therapists.” Dr. Ford said, “And traditional therapy isn’t universally helpful for everyone. But… that said? I am sincere when I say I believe I can help you. If you will give me the opportunity.”

Seventeen days… Kokichi can barely believe it. Every day that passes kind of hits him like a slap, making him think back to when they would look out to the future and say things like ‘five months away, wow’. Kokichi knows he is not the same person he was when he, Shuuichi, and Kaito first got together, and Kokichi thinks he’ll be another new person again in another year. A dad through practice, rather than just through excitement now. 

He wasn’t all that surprised to hear that Ford knew of their other therapists--though...Dr. Crystal? Kokichi had only ever heard people call her ‘Miss’...--since it could really help your patients to be able to personally refer them to other people, but he still found it comforting that he only had good things to say. And...honestly, if Dr. Mariah could deal with them, Kokichi really believed she deserved the title of ‘genius’. 

...he understood Shuuichi’s nerves. While Shuuichi still came to the group therapy sessions and had relaxed a lot from the first ones, Kokichi knew that he didn’t always buy into the things Dr. Mariah offered to the group. But…

Gently, Kokichi pressed against Shuuichi’s arm, giving him a hopeful smile. “...the only way to learn something like this is by doing. I…” Kokichi took a small breath. “...I want to be able to support you any way I can, Shuu-chan. But...I know I have limits to what I can offer. Things that I let my personal feelings get in the way of, and questions I don’t even have answers for myself for. But...I still want you to have help. Shuu-chan’s happiness is important to me.”

Shuichi felt his stomach tighten nervously… and sighed as Miyako kicked his bladder in protest. “...yes, alright. It can’t hurt, I suppose… I’m sorry, but do you have a bathroom?”

Dr. Ford looked wards a closed door in the corner, “Please, go ahead, take your time.”

Shuichi nodded, and using Kokichi’s help, got up, before heading over to the door, closing it behind him.

There was something sad, briefly, in Dr. Ford’s expression, a memory of being told about an incident he hadn’t been a part of, but felt very responsible for regardless, even if he knew better… he turned to give Kokichi a soft look. “It’s not easy, being the supporting role in these situations. I must say, you are handling yourself remarkably well, as you did the last time we met. Your partners are lucky to have you.”

“... is Mr. Saihara correct? Prince Kaito is doing well with his new therapist?”

Kokichi dutifully help Shuuichi up, staying standing in case his boyfriend should need him, though he gave Dr. Ford a bashful grin at the compliment. “Thank you. Kai-chan and Shuu-chan mean a lot to me, and have helped me out a lot. I think we’re all learning from each other how to be better to each other.”

...considering Shuuichi usually took a little while, Kokichi sat back down on the couch and gave Dr. Ford a gentle nod. “He is. We don’t...really talk that much about our sessions but...we’ve made a lot of headway in our group sessions. And…”

Kokichi’s expression turned hesitant, not wanting to talk too much about Kaito’s personal business. “...I think his sessions with Miss Crystal are good for him. He’ll...he’ll be okay.”

Dr. Ford was silent for a moment… before smiling, “Good. Congratulations on your new child, since I haven't had a chance to say so yet. I know the circumstances must have been difficult, but you stepping up and claiming the child is another reason many of my patients look to Shuichi as a success story. Considering the state they’re in when they conceive? Many people have refused to take responsibility for their part in the circumstances, if only for fear of being judged. Socially? You have handled your part in Miyako’s life incredibly maturely.”

Ford rubbed his hand through his beard a little as he confessed, “It’s honestly incredibly refreshing to see. As I said. Your partners are lucky to have you.”

There was a sad turn in Kokichi’s eyes. He understood why some of the tango partners didn’t stick around. Not everyone had it in them to be able to support others in recovery, especially if it had been a ‘one night stand’ sort of thing. Not to mention that not everyone had it in them to be a parent. He understood it, but...it broke his heart, knowing that there were so many people going through such similar things to Shuuichi, but alone. 

It hadn’t even been a question to Kokichi. 

...so he told Ford as much. 

“...it wasn’t a question,” he murmured, though there was no meekness in his voice. “As soon as we found out that Shuu-chan was on spores, I’d decided to see it through with him. And us getting into a relationship only strengthened my resolve. I...I wasn’t exactly expecting to be a father at 20, but by the time we found out there wasn’t anything that would be able to dissuade me from claiming Miya and affirming again that I’m staying right by Shuu-chan’s side.”

“He’s my boyfriend and she’s my daughter. I care a lot about my family...that’s all there is to it.”

Dr. Ford hadn’t looked worried, before, but he did look that much more reassured, as he said, “Good. A strong support system is indecipherably helpful in anyone’s recovery period. I see I was right to be confident that you'd succeed as ‘the therapist at home’. I know it is challenging, but the fact that Prince Kaito is doing well, and that Mr. Saihara feels confident and secure enough to try again? These are all signs that you are succeeding. Well done.”

After a moment, Shuichi came out, heading back to the couch. “Alright. I think I said this before I went in there, but in case I wasn’t clear, I do want to try seeing you, Dr. Ford. I don’t suppose there’s some homework I should do before our first session?”

Dr. Ford looked confused, “Homework? No. If you mean exercises I could recommend you, certainly, but I likely won’t start doing that until we’ve gotten to explore your circumstances more. But, no, no homework. I am not a classroom, nor a task master.” Dr. Ford chuckled… and then said suddenly very seriously, “And none of this is graded.”

Again, Kokichi softly thanked the doctor, feeling that flame of pride warm his chest. He really was doing his best for his family. He knew it wasn’t perfect, that he caused them a lot of worry with his health, when his stubbornness made things worse, when his dedication to his work made things difficult. That sometimes he was overly emotional and too quick to burst into tears or start shouting. But he tried, and...it was nice to see signs that he was helping.

Kokichi looked up, expression brightening as it did every time he saw Shuuichi, and that pride for himself grew and extended to Shuuichi. Trying this out meant a lot. 

He quirked a small smile at Shuuichi’s mention of homework and Ford’s confusion, though it dropped into a grimace when Ford got serious. But, after a breath, he evened himself back out. “I think Shuu-chan mentions it,” he glanced to Shuuichi, getting a confirming nod, “‘cause that’s what Dr. Mariah calls the exercises she proposes for us. Usually things to try and recognize in our own behavior, or suggestions for ways to have conversations. And it really is just suggestions.”

“I think,” Kokichi started, glancing between them, “The major order of business is just discussing the timing of sessions. Oh,” he perked, looking to Ford, “Is the deposit system you had before still good for paying you?”

“It is,” Ford said, getting up to go get his planner as he said, “Let’s talk dates.”

-

Their session had started a little strange, as Kaito, feeling a little guilty, despite reassuring Shuichi it would be fine, told Miss Crystal Shuichi was officially going to try a new therapist. And how it was nothing she had done, he just-- 

“It’s fine, Kaito.” Miss Crystal laughed lightly, saying it again as Kaito apologized for the second time, “I knew I was struggling to break through with Shuichi, and I’m glad that he’s trying again. There’s no worse result in therapy than doing such a poor job that the patient gives up on the idea of therapy entirely. If Shuichi wants to try again with a new therapist-- and Doctor Ford is an excellent therapist, as we’ve discussed before-- then I consider my time with him a success, if only because he’s still trying.”

Their food had arrived, the diner loud and busy and reassuring as it always was to Kaito, and after awhile, he started talking about Andromeda, and that had led to his discomfort with the strip club.

“Sometimes I wish I didn’t know that place existed.” Kaito confessed, spinning his fry through his ketchup, “I’m not tempted. I’m not. I don’t want to go… I just wish it wasn’t there.”

“What’s your worst case scenario?” Miss Crystal asked, sipping at her coffee, “What’s got you nervous?”

“That I… get tempted? And go. And then… Kokichi’s put in this situation where his Kai-chan did something shitty… again. And he just has to…” Kaito’s brows furrowed, “...decide he has to be okay with it. Because he loves me and he wants to stay with me, even though I keep… hurting him…”

“And also Shuichi would be pissed. Kokichi would pretend to be okay with it, but not my Shuichi. He doesn’t want to share me, it’s not even a question. Which is nice, honestly, I like that he feels so protective of his relationship with me. It’s nice to know he values me. I just don’t want to… break the trust he has in me.”

“Do you think you will?”

“No.”

“Why so much fear over something you’re convinced won’t happen?” Miss Crystal asked gently, raising her eyebrow at him, “I’ve told you, there’s no judgment here. I’m not your personal thought guard, you can confess anything to me. Nothing is too much, and nothing will have me denounce you, dear.”

“You do that shit on purpose.” Kaito muttered.

“Do what?”

“The ‘dear’ stuff. I don’t know what to do with that. No one calls me that. No one has ever called me that. It’s weird.”

“Perhaps I should stop.” Miss Crystal conceded, “... but I am quite fond of you, Kaito. I’m not impartial. I want to see you succeed, to be healthy and happy. You inspire a ‘dear’ mentality in me.”

“... I don’t hate it.” Kaito admitted, “I just don’t know what to do with it. Would you stop?”

“Yes.” Miss Crystal said, meaning it. “Alright. No more pet names. I promise, Kaito. I’m sorry if I made that difficult for you to ask me.”

“...no, you didn’t, I…” In truth, Kaito was glad. People didn’t… he didn’t win exchanges like that, very often. Sometimes it was nice to just tell someone ‘stop’ and realize they actually would… “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“... I don’t always feel in control of myself.” Kaito confessed, “Like… like I’ve already decided that I’m not sleeping with anyone outside of my partners. That I’m not going to the strip club. I’ve decided that… but I’m so fucking impulsive and… god, sometimes I feel like my whole fucking life has just been impulsive decisions and things happening to me. Like, great! I’ve said I won’t do it! What’s that actually worth though? What good is my word on anything if my decisions aren’t mine and don’t matter and… are usually wrong half the time?”

“You lack faith in your ability to control how your life goes?”

“Yeah… my whole life sometimes feels like these series of bad decisions and events outside of my control and it’s a literal miracle I’ve managed to hold onto what I have. My husband should have left me a thousand times. My boyfriend and best friend should have left me a thousand times. Maki, Shuichi… they stuck by me through everything. And I didn’t make that easy! I’m a mean, angry, impulsive, entitled piece of shit, and I don’t know why anyone puts up with me… I’d have fucking punched me in the face by now, at least… and what feels worse is how mad at them I get!”

“It’s not fair! I just wanna strangle me. They put up with so much of my bullshit, they’ve given me pass after pass after pass, and I still have the audacity to be mad at them!?” Kaito ran his hands over his face, groaning, before saying, “And it’s not just them! I’m mad at everyone. I’m angry all the time. And… and I’ve been better about lashing out. I’m not punching people or things or anything, but… I’m still angry…”

“Anger management doesn’t get rid of anger. It just…” Miss Crystal laughed, “Makes it manageable. And emotions aren’t an even trade. Recognizing you’ve wronged people doesn’t equal not being allowed to feel wronged. Anger and guilt are two different emotions. Both need to be managed, and navigated, and understood.”

“I wish I could just scream at everyone I hate.” Kaito grumbled, “Maybe punch a few faces.”

“Did that help you before?”

“...no.”

“Was it helpful for your father?”

Kaito’s shoulders fell. The air leaving his chest. “...no.” he said, softer.

“Your feelings aren’t strange, or monstrous, Kaito. But they do need to be managed by a few realities.” Miss Crystal said, tapping against her coffee mug, “For one, despite how you feel, you do have control over your life. Over yourself. If you’ve decided not to sleep around? Then, effectively… yes. That decisions is made. You can control that. The rugs not going to just pull out from under your feet there.”

“And… you have lots of reasons to be angry. Denying that anger isn’t managing it, that’s just repression. It’s something you and I can work through. It’s why we come here and eat these burgers so often! It’s definitely not for my waistline, I’ll tell you what.” she huffed, shaking her head.

“Just get the salad. You always say you’re gonna get the salad…”

“The burgers look too good! I’d end up just getting a salad and then a burger after staring hungrily at your plate for twenty minutes!”

“Yeah yeah…” 

Kaito thought about telling her about Maki asking about Tengan. His reluctance and fear about it. How he had felt grateful to dodge the question.

… the story died on his lips. He didn’t even understand everything that had happened, not really. Talking to her might help, but...Kaito felt a real fear that if he told her what had happened, she’d tell him it wasn’t as bad as he… felt it had been… Tengan had never hurt him. The worst Tengan had done was… run his hands through Kaito’s hair and… made him sit at his feet and… watched and…

...he wasn’t anyone’s dog… he had grown up. That had been a stupid way to hurt a childs feelings. Kaito wasn’t that kid anymore. It shouldn’t bother him. And the feelings of… the feelings of things on his skin were… he honesty didn’t know. He didn’t know what that feeling was. Maybe Kaito just mixing hurts from later in his life with hurts of those early tutoring sessions? Tengan had never touched him. Nothing had happened. Pollen or not! Byakuya or not! Dreams or what the fuck ever… nothing had happened.

Kaito didn’t know how to talk about the hurts of things that had never happened, and when he looked at what physically did happen, he couldn’t help but feel like he was making too big a deal of what had been stupid and weak punishments over shitty games. Everything just so much larger in his head than it had ever been in real life. 

He felt stupid. He didn’t want to talk about it.

-

Kaito had bought flowers.

He had also bought some chocolates that had been on the counter of the flower stand, and he had already surprised Shuichi with his flowers and chocolates in his study, not going in because Nini was wandering!?? The floor!?? But Shuichi had seemed pleased with the impromptu gift, Kaito getting it on impulse on the way home from therapy. 

And now he was going to surprise his husband with some! Knocking on Kokichi’s office door, flowers and small chocolates in hand.

Kokichi was just finishing up putting some papers away, already having sent Nadya on her way--after a bit of kind, light teasing when she mentioned that a friend would likely be stopping by the next day to check out the castle, which was totally normal and fine, except for the light in Nadya’s eyes when she said it so...teasing, naturally, ensued--when he looked at the door in surprise. He just had a moment left to clear things up, so… “Come in!”

It was a bright afternoon, the sun just barely shining through the frosted window of the office before it would pass over the rest of the castle. Kokichi had already shut the window, but his hair was still pulled back in a small ponytail, keeping the longer pieces from sticking to the back of his neck. It wasn’t particularly warm, but was the weather did steadily warm up, Kokichi found that hunching over in certain positions for hours at a time made him a little stifled. Something he found was much more bearable than feeling chilled. 

“Heeeeeey!” Kaito called, opening the door and coming in, bright, yellow sunflowers-- small, not the kind that would seed, obviously-- in his hands as he said, “Guess who was feeling a little… gifty? Today! I bought you a gift!” 

Grinning, Kaito headed over to the desk, putting the small vase down as he said, “Look! Check out these flowers! The guy at the flower cart said these guys are just getting in season, I got one of his first batches! I bought some for Shuichi too, they’re in his study! And, and, boom!” Kaito fished the chocolate out of his inner jacket pocket, pulling it out and displaying to Kokichi proudly, “Fancy chocolate! I can’t pronounce the brand, so… I’m assuming its fancy! Surprise!”

Just finishing, Kokichi turned, but nothing could’ve prepared him for Kaito apparently in a romantic mood that day. Kokichi’s jaw dropped in astonishment for a moment before he met Kaito part way, unable to say a thing as he fawned over the gifts. Then, with a bright grin, he hugged Kaito fiercely. 

“Kai-chan!!!” Kokichi pulled away, accepting the chocolate--at least from the packaging, it did seem like good chocolate--and gently touching along the edges of a sunflower’s petals. “These are lovely! Thank you!”

He’d never really talked about it, but Kokichi really liked sunflowers. How big and tall and bright they were, and how they always followed the sun… And now his personal sun had given him a few to brighten up the office, cheering him on… Gently, Kokichi moved the vase so the flowers could bask in as much sun as they could.

Turning, Kokichi grasped the edge of his chair to help him hop up high, giving Kaito a brief kiss on the cheek. “Hun, this is so sweet… I’m pretty much done for the day, do you wanna share some of these chocolates?”

Kaito grinned! Yes! Good husband points! He was being a good husband! Miss Crystal was right, he was in charge of his own destiny, dammit! He did not have to be a miserable mistake to his partners! Woo! 

...now what?

“Ummm, yeah!” Kaito decided, leaning against the desk and grinning, eyes curiously going over the work Kokichi had been doing before he arrived. “Let’s see what…” Kaito peered at the chocolate label, decided to try to pronounce it, “Chocolat… nois… aux noisette… Chocolate noisy ax no settie? Why do I feel like it’s trying to tell me the chocolate is noisy? Anyway, yeah, I’ll take a bite babe. Did I interrupt anything?”

Kokichi took a look at the chocolate label as Kaito was sounding out the foreign words and...other than “chocolate” he had no idea what they meant, but there were nuts on the label, so he’d expect that. Mm, something like almonds or hazelnuts were always great with chocolate, though, honestly, Kokichi would still take something a little weirder like pistachios. Chocolate was chocolate and chocolate was good. 

Taking Kaito’s hand, Kokichi pressed affectionately to his husband’s side before taking the lead out of the office. “Not at all--I was just packing up for the day. Honestly,” he grinned up at Kaito, “I’m happy you came to find me. I’m not really sure what I wanna do for the rest of today, but I know time with you is always high up there.”

“How was therapy? You get to try out any new burgers from that diner?”

“Yeah, okay, so! Did you know they put pepper in cheese?” Kaito said, eyes widening, a little flabbergasted by this. Honestly, most cheese based trivia was a little astonishing to Kaito, whenever he came across new stuff. There were so many damn different types of cheeses! He had known that from visiting Novoselic, sure, but he had been too young then too appreciate how bizarre it was. Now that he had had a year with a bunch of different cheeses? SO MUCH CHEESE! 

“So, yeah, I got a burger, and covered it in this pepper cheese stuff, and I’ll be honest, babe? It was kinda amazing. Maybe I’m just getting used to excessive seasonings, but pepper and cheese work.” Kaito grinned, nibbling on his chocolate… hm. Didn’t taste that fancy. At least not to Kaito. To be fair, he had gotten it from a flower stall, so… “And things with Miss Crystal went fine. She took the Shuichi stuff in stride… I asked her to stop calling me pets names.”

Kaito kicked the floor uncomfortably, before saying, “I should have done that, right? I feel kind of bad about it now.”

Kokichi laughed softly, more amused with Kaito’s enthusiasm than laughing at him, and nibbled at his chocolate. Ah...dark chocolate… But it was still pretty good, and the hazelnuts still played off it really well. Wanting to show his gratitude, Kokichi took a bigger bite and leaned against Kaito’s arm again. 

“Hey! Looks like we’ll get you some taste yet,” Kokichi giggled. “I know what you mean, though. I think we had that kind of cheese in mac and cheese once and...like, you can just put pepper in mac and cheese, but it was different! I’m a little interested to see how the cheeses with hot peppers in them would fare, though I know that’s not your wheelhouse.”

Looking over, Kokichi gave Kaito a curious look. “If it bothered you, then you were right to ask her to stop. You should be able to be comfortable with your therapist. I mean, I talked enough with Dr. Egami about how I get kinda uncomfortable and pressured sometimes when he offers treats. So...now he just has ‘em around, and if I want something, I can just take it. It’s all about creating a safe, supportive space, yanno?”

“Yeah… sometimes I think Miss Crystal just wants to show me she cares about me as a person? Cause, like… look, I’ll be honest, a lot of what we talk about is me kind of whining a… lot about… not being treated very well.” Kaito shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck, “Like, by my parents and stuff… anyway. I feel like I’m basically begging her for affection half the time, and then when she gives it to me, I feel fucking weird and put off about it and tell her to stop… I mean, she said it was fine, and you’re right, I can set boundaries and stuff, I’m allowed… I just feel like I’m giving her mixed signals.”

“I’m, like, the king of mixed signals.” Kaito chuckled, “...maybe? I don’t know, that feels accurate right now. You don’t always want to eat treats? Do I do that to you? You don’t have to eat everything I bring you, ya know. I won’t be hurt.”

Ah, it was an insecure day, then. 

...Kokichi didn’t know what to think, really, but...it felt like days like these were happening more. The kind of day where Kaito just...felt bad about himself, like he had something to prove. The kind of day that Kokichi used to have constantly. 

Giving Kaito a soft look, Kokichi stroked the side of his hand with his thumb. “...I know I’m not the right person to say it, but...that sort of stuff doesn’t seem like you’re whining. It seems that you’re rightfully hurt. But it’s not like I’m sitting in on your sessions…” With a gentle shrug, Kokichi let it go. 

“And I know I don’t have to eat--’s just most of the time I’m both in the mood and Kai-chan brings me such delectable things I’m not even close to not wanting them,” Kokichi giggled, giving his husband a wink. “It’s just...sometimes it feels like too much. That I’m obligated to have something, even if I’m not that hungry. But...I can speak up for myself, and I know that I won’t be letting you down if I don’t wanna eat. It’s just more boundary stuff, yanno? And I can speak up for myself.”

“Hell yeah… you’re so cool, babe.” Kaito grinned, crouching down to lay his chin on the side of Kokichi’s desk, admiring his husband in the strange lighting of the frosted glass. He loved his hair pulled back like that...it showed off the curves and angles of Kokichi’s face, that cute little pointed nose, the way his hairline tucked into that slightly little point before fading behind his ears… god, Kaito could spend forever looking at him. 

“...you’re freckling,’ Kaito grinned, “Did you know that?”

Kokichi raised an eyebrow as Kaito crouched, and it was only the pure adoring, love-struck look on his face that, ironically, held Kokichi back from taking advantage of his husband leaning down to smooch the hell out of him. As it was, he looked at his arms with some curiosity at Kaito’s comment before caving and, indeed, leaning in to smooch the hell out of Kaito.

“Really…? I guess I have been out and about lately. Gotta remember to put on sunscreen before I head out…” Another smooch, this one longer as Kokichi tasted Kaito’s lips, getting the remnant flavor of the chocolate they’d both had. “Even if you tan, remember to put on sunscreen too, you know?”

...uh oh.

Kaito felt his ears and neck start to burn first, happily kissing Kokichi back as his husband indulged in him, just… whoops. Whoops. Dammit, he was flustered now. His cute, thoughtful, sweet, sexy…

Noooo, Kaito. Seven months! You already made a mental promise to yourself! No pressuring your husband! He had seemed determined that last time would be the last time for… a while! And that was fine! Kokichi was allowed, and Kaito was going to respect that, and!

...Ngh. 

He… hadn’t been very nice to Kokichi, considering that was supposed to be the last time before a long, long dry spell.

Nnnnnngh, what had he been thinking? Well, he had been thinking with his stupid fucking dick, for one. He knew what it felt like to be taken beyond your limit! If the other person wasn’t being careful, it could almost feel like you were being fucking… beaten! With someone’s hips! It stopped feeling good and just started feeling like an endurance test, just gritting your teeth and hoping it’d be over soon… and it wasn’t like Kokichi hadn’t been waiting for months too! They had both been hoping for a nice night, and Kaito had just wanted to get his fucking rocks off and act like a god damn asshole and his poor fucking husband hadn’t even gotten to enjoy his part of it for, what?? Twenty minutes!?

Augh he had to stop doing shit like that! He was so fucking selfish!

… ahhhhhh but did he want to make up for it now because he had been wrong, or because Kokichi was really pretty and great kisser and Kaito was fucking hoooornyyyyy???

No! No, he could totally be unselfish about this shit! He wasn’t going to be led around by his dick like a dog on a leash, and he wasn’t going to take out his frustrations on his husband's body, especially when his husband was making the exact same sacrifices. Kaito was under control! 

“...hey, uh, babe…” Kaito took Kokichi’s hand, pressing little kisses against his palm, partly to break the kisses that were setting his skin on fire, “... I wanna apologize about last time… I know I already apologized and you said it was fine, and I really enjoyed that night, but… and I’m talking about the night Shuichi watched us, just to be clear… but I’m still sorry I did that.I know you agreed to it, but I really shouldn’t have asked you to do that in the first place. I’m sorry I made it all about me.”

...he wished he knew what happened. What changed, so that Kaito filled with such self-directed anger and self-doubt. Kokichi...had an inkling, and...maybe it made him a bad person, but he couldn’t bring himself to wish it had never happened. But...he just wished he could make this easier for Kaito. To make this road of growth not so full of mud-filled potholes that could trap a foot and make you sink. 

He could try, and maybe he would end up making a difference. 

Confused for a moment over what Kaito was talking about, Kokichi let out a soft sigh and leaned in to place another soft kiss against Kaito’s lips. “I accept your apology. It takes a lot of strength to apologize for something you liked.”

“But...I don’t see it like that,” he softly continued, gently rubbing circles into Kaito’s hand. “I had a ton of fun that night. After going so long, it was incredible… Yeah, it got a little too much for me at one point, but...I spoke up, and you stopped. And it was still an amazing night. We both listened to each other, so...that night makes me happy to think about.”

Kokichi glanced up at the clock in the office, doing some math. Haneda would be picking up Tim, so even if Kaito wanted to check in with him as soon as he got home…

Grinning, Kokichi leaned in and nosed against Kaito’s cheek, whispering in his ear. “It makes me a lot of other things to think about too. We have a few hours… Wanna go to our room?”

“...???” Kaito gave Kokichi a very red, surprised, deer-in-the-headlights look for a second, before his face twisted into a grin that was both hugely excited and at the exact same time entirely certain he was misunderstanding. “‘Kichi…” 

Kaito wanted to ask ‘what about seven months’?? His husband had seemed so certain that Kaito had sorta assumed it was some sort of personal choice on Kokichi’s end, want to start before Miya was born. He felt an instinctive worry that maybe he had pushed the idea on Kokichi somehow, maybe Kokichi noticing Kaito’s fluster and wanting to make him happy? He wanted to reassure his husband that he had no expectations and that Kokichi didn’t have to indulge him, he was a horny idiot, sometimes you just had to tell the horny idiot no…

...but what he actually managed to get out was, “...this early? Babe, you’re gonna get tired.”

Kokichi flushed red too and he glanced to the side with a sweet, slightly flustered smile. “...yeah. I mean...we don’t have to go that far, if you don’t wanna, but...I don’t mind crashing for an afternoon nap. I just…”

Sighing, Kokichi leaned back and then right back in to gently push his forehead against Kaito’s. “...I just want to spend time with you. Sometimes it barely feels like our schedules line up and...I miss you. If we have the time...why not?”

“...unless you’re not in the mood?” Kokichi sat back up properly this time, giving Kaito a more serious look. He knew it was usually barely a question, but...he never, ever wanted to take that for granted. He would take redundantly asking if Kaito was in the mood a thousand times over than pressure Kaito into doing something once, just because he was usually all about it. “If you don’t wanna, I’d still want to spend non-intimate time with you too. No matter what we end up doing, I just wanna be around ya.”

Kaito relaxed a little, giving Kokich an openly adoring look and almost a full on smirk, really only broken up by how kinda goofy and loopy it was, as he said, “Awwww, someone liiiikes meeee~.”

… he definitely was in the mood, but, that was usually given. It’d also just be nice to spend time with his husband, in general… “Let’s go hang out, and if something happens, then hurray,” Kaito grinned, leaning forward from his resting spot on the desk, taking a small kiss back from Kokichi, “And if not? Well, I got some kisses and conversation and what more could I want?”

Kaito wanted to do it, but he also knew that meant Kokichi would go to sleep, and Kaito would miss out on spending one on one time with him… and, yeah. Kaito missed Kokichi sometimes too. Which was strange…

Laughing at himself a little, he stood up, offering Kokichi his hand, “Come on, babe, let's go be hermits in our room together.”

...well, a soft yes wasn’t really a yes, but...if stuff started happening, then Kokichi would ask again. And if it was another soft yes, then he wouldn’t push. 

Putting the rest of the chocolate in a pocket to put with the rest of his stash in their room later, Kokichi took one last adoring look at the vase of sunflowers before tucking his hand into Kaito’s again, heading off. “Ah, my favorite thing to do. And it just sweetens up when I get to be a hermit with my favorite person.”

Not starting a particularly hurried pace, but not dawdling either, Kokichi swung their joined hands, just in a loving, happy good mood. “Do you know what time you want to head out with Tim tomorrow? I’d imagine fairly early, so you guys get a lot of time at the lake, but I wanna make sure to see you off.”

“It’s not gonna be terribly early, but we’re trying to be out on the water by noon, so its gonna be pretty early.” Kaito said, easily allowing Kokichi to throw their arms back and forth as they headed back to the room, “But it's still gonna be pretty early. Probably in the carriage by eight.”

Kaito chuckled, “Maki said if we wanted a bunch of fish, we should be there just before sunrise, but… I’m pretty sure Tim would hate me. And I’d hate me a little bit. Like, maybe we won’t be bringing in a town’s worth of fish, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Kaito opened the door for them, and closed and locked it behind them. The staff actually pretty rarely came into their room these days. And the three of them tended to know when the staff was going to show up before they did… but Kaito still liked locking the door. Sometimes-- well, most times-- Kaito thought he cared more about them having privacy than either of his shy lovers did. He just felt better having a door he could close on the world. Even if, like, most of that world probably had an easy way to open said locked doors, if they really wanted to.

Hm.

Kaito kicked his shoes off, taking off his jacket and putting it on the back of the desk chair, before sighing contently as he flopped down on the bed, “Uuuuuuugh, hoooooome… heh.”

Kaito rolled onto his back, giving Kokichi a mildly amused look, “...you remember when we used to spend literally all of our time in here? I swear, we did that for honestly months… us going through our honeymoon phase, I guess.” He laughed.

Kokichi snickered a bit. “I get’cha. It’ll feel nice to be able to catch fish, but it’s not like you’re trying to stock the freezer--just the act of fishing and seeing the stuff out there is kinda the point. Mmm...maybe if you get a good amount, though, we could have a fish grill when you guys come back.”

Kaito and Tim might just opt for catch and release fishing, though. It was easier to regulate the fish populations in lakes and ponds, and Kaito had already done the footwork for getting a permit to keep fish that they caught, but still… The fish weren’t the point. 

First thing first, Kokichi dropped off his chocolate in his sweets drawer after taking another bite of it--and, of course, wrapping it back up and making sure the bag of all the sweets was secure; the vents may be fixed, but the last thing Kokichi needed was to entice some bugs to come back. Then he hopped up on the bed with Kaito, grinning at his husband fondly and stealing a kiss when Kaito rolled over before lounging next to him. 

“To be fair, we kept getting injured and sick, so we had pretty good reasons for being homebodies,” Kokichi snorted, able to think about those times without the hurt now. “But I’m glad I got to know you so much. Even if it’s better for us to, yanno, engage in the world we live in, I still like finding a little corner and bein’ with my Kai-chan.”

“Hurt and sick? I’m pretty sure I‘ve never been hurt or sick a day in my life.” Kaito huffed, propping up on his elbows and looking over at Kokichi with a knowing little grin, “That said… it’s so funny the first, like, two months you knew me, I was wearing a cast.  Two months? Three? I can’t even remember. If I’m honest, whenever I look back at those memories, I don’t ever have that cast on when I’m picturing things.”

“...” Kaito looked at Kokichi for a bit, before leaning over him, placing some small kisses against Kokichi, first against his lower lip, gently pressing once, twice, before placing a warm kiss against his neck, sighing against his skin as he said, “You remember that night I came back all hopped up on… whatever that painkiller was, I don’t even know… I loved that night. I’m sure I’ve told you that before, but… I don’t know. We told each other a nice story and just enjoyed each others company… I just remember that night being nice.”

“... can I tell you something stupid?” Kaito grinned sheepishly.

Kokichi smiled slightly, able to vividly remember Kaito’s cast, even if it seemed like such a faraway time now. (It was how he figured out he was dreaming, after all. It made sense to stick out in his mind.) “I remember you getting so excited when you could hold things and put weight on your arm again… I think one of the first things you did was bring food up. We really did eat up here all the time…”

Pressing into the kisses, Kokichi brought an arm up, gently tracing his nails through Kaito’s hair, just behind his ear, before sliding his hand down his neck, tilting his own to give Kaito room. For a long time that night had been a glaring guilty spot for Kokichi. A horrible example of him failing to take care of someone, for thinking more with his dick than his head, and Kaito paying the price. 

It still wasn’t the smartest thing for them to have done, but...some of the pain Kaito went through was going to have regardless of what they did that night. He had a horrible concussion that went unnoticed until it was too late, and coming off the strong pain killers was going to be murder no matter what. They made a mistake, pushing Kaito more than he should’ve, but...they gave each other a nice memory, and intimacy that they could hold onto when other times had gone so wrong. 

Kokichi closed his eyes for a moment with a soft smile, tracing a heart into Kaito’s shoulder. “I doubt it’ll be stupid, but sure. You can tell me anything.”

Kaito leaned into that small trace through his hair,  his shoulders tensing slightly when he thought Kokichi might be heading for his jaw, before relaxing at the line down his neck, laughing lightly at the small shape into his shoulder, recognizing after the second turn that his husband was signing a heart. Cute… his husband was so sweet and cute and--

“It is kinda stupid. I had no real reason to think it, but there was this brief period of time where I thought… like, I don’t know. Like maybe you were like Shuichi? And you really wouldn’t be interested in me at all without, ya know… drugs, or whatever… which would have been fine. We’d have figured something out. I just…”

Kaito shrugged, “I didn’t know how to ask you. We were really bad at just saying things to each other back then, and I couldn’t even begin to think about how to ask if, like… well, I don’t know… again, we would have figured out something. I just remember feeling really relieved that you were still interested in me after everything.”

Kaito kissed gently up Kokichi’s neck, to just below his ear, before saying softly, “Your Kaito’s kinda needy. In case you haven't noticed yet.”

Kokichi nodded slightly, though there was a sadness in his eyes as he leaned in to kiss Kaito’s temple. “...we weren’t given a chance to have those conversations, even if we had been better at talking to each other. Honestly...I wasn’t sure myself. You’re the first person I’ve ever been with, and our wedding night had been my first time. I wasn’t sure if…” Kokichi sighed, shrugging a little. “...if it had been too fast? If I just wanted to...I dunno, kiss and stuff for a while. And my fears about being a good partner to you certainly didn’t help.”

“...but the one thing I was sure of, was that I really liked you,” Kokichi murmured, nosing Kaito’s cheek and placing a kiss at the corner of his lips, shuffling closer to his husband. “I knew I wanted to be with you, even if I wasn’t sure how. I was desperate, but...it wasn’t the drugs that made me trust you, Kai-chan. That was just all you.”

And even if it hadn’t been love yet, it really had been trust. And Kokichi had craved that so much that Kaito really became the subject of his affections. 

Laughing slightly, Kokichi placed another kiss slightly more on Kaito’s lips. “If you’re needy, then we make a match, since I’m clingy.”

“Yeah?” Kaito grinned, before ever so slightly lifting himself up on his elbows, watching as Kokichi’s body raised up with him, his smaller husband easily and without thinking about it keeping his hold around Kaito, “I didn’t notice. You don’t say?”

Leaning back down, Kaito just spent some time gently kissing him, just enjoying the feeling of Kokichi pressed against his body. The small, wet sounds of their kisses in the otherwise quiet of the room.

Kaito took his hand and pushed it slightly under Kokichi’s shirt, just testingly, running his fingers and palm over the hard curves and points of Kokichi’s waist and hips, pressing his thumb along the hard curve of what with a little more muscle would have been Kokichi’s adonis belt. Kaito wanted more meat on Kokichi’s bones, purely because he worried about how fragile Kokichi felt under his hands, when he was nothing but skin and bones… but he had to admit, there was something attractive in being able to feel all the little bumps and curves of his husbands body. He’d still prefer a solid layer of fat to protect them, and he’d be grateful every day that Kokichi filled out a little more, but, well… his husband was still very sexy to Kaito as he was. 

“...you know…” Kaito smirked, leaning and shifting to bending over Kokichi’s stomach for a moment, pushing his shirt up a little before placing a little kiss at the skin just above the start of Kokichi’s small, purple happy trail, “I was not expecting this. I don’t know why, I guess I just sorta assumed you’d be the type to groom this off… but thank god you trusted me enough to say yes, because I’ll be honest, Kokichi, I’d have been heartbroken if you had said no. I mean, in the long run it would have been better, we’d have probably taken you to medical sooner if you were trying to calm down and couldn’t, but…”

“...god, you’re the sexiest fucking human being alive,” Kaito sighed, placing another little kiss on Kokichi’s stomach, feeling himself getting more wound up, “I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t know babe, and good, cause you deserve to know… but fuck you’re so beautiful… I’d have spent our whole relationship just pining for you...you’d have made me act so damn stupid, trying to get your atttention… heh.” Kaito chuckled, looking up at Kokichi, “You probably missed out on getting to totally mess with me, honestly.”

Kokichi laughed, the sounds becoming muffled but not silenced when Kaito brought their lips together again. Just like trust, Kokichi had been sorely missing out on physical touch. These days, he didn’t think it was still him being touch-starved that drove him to constantly nuzzle and press up against his partners, but the habit had definitely been built from that. He just...loved that kind of physical affection. Feeling their warmth and allowing hands to touch.

And it seemed like Kaito was enjoying touch now too, and in some ways, Kokichi liked being touched as much as he liked initiating. Kokichi stretched himself out a little, keeping his body language open and inviting to Kaito’s touch while he cupped the side of Kaito’s face, mostly feeling to feel put allowing it to partially anchor him to keep kissing his husband. 

At least, until Kaito started bringing his kisses lower. Kokichi sighed in contentment, trailing his fingertips on the tips of Kaito’s ears while he slightly--unconsciously--parted his dangling legs, just a bit. “I think I would’ve been too shy to tease you much, honestly,” he hummed, looking down at Kaito adoringly. “I’ve never thought I was ugly or anything, but… You really make me feel beautiful. Like someone special… It’s a little overwhelming sometimes, but mostly I just love it. Kai-chan’s just...so bright and amazing and beyond hot, so...if he says I’m beautiful, it means a hell of a lot, you know?”

Maybe not objectively, but having Kaito’s Kaito-Goggles look upon him favorably was still a nice feeling. And being wanted was another thing that Kokichi had desperately craved.

Kaito laughed into Kokichi’s stomach, before placing a few more kisses there, wrapped his arms around Kokichi’s back, feeling Kokich’s natural chill starting to warm against his touch. 

After a moment, he took a small break from the kisses, resting his head against Kokichi’s hip as he looked at the horizon that was Kokichi’s body, just enjoying holding him for a moment while Kokichi lightly played with his ears.

It’s not that he didn’t want to keep going, and he knew the signs of someone wanting him to drift lower,  but… he also knew hanging out and conversation was basically done if he went any lower… and he did wanna keep talking to ‘Kichi…

He closed his eyes a moment, just breathing Kokichi’s scent. Warm and familiar… he really could just get into it. Turn off his brain a little, just make him feel good… Kokichi wanted it, and so did he, of course, of course…

Kaito fiddled with Kokichi’s pants button for a moment, before grinning, “Hey, babe… that friend of yours. The one who sent us the abomination.” He drifted his kisses upwards, deciding to push off the decision, but trying not to entirely break the mood as he pushed Kokichi’s shirt upward a little more, trying to coax him out of it, “I can’t remember her name… did you ever want to go see her? I’m pretty sure we could do that someday, if you wanted too… and I bet I could convince her to part with some more toys… things that would make me a little less jealous than a vibrator.” Kaito chuckled, kissing at Kokichi’s ribcage.

Kokichi felt his breath catch slightly as Kaito kissed down his abdomen further, even playing with the button of his pants. (Likely one of the last few days for a while he’d be wearing pants. Shorts weather meant consecutive months for Kokichi.) He could feel just the slightest bit of a wanting heat start to travel downward…

...but not yet, apparently. Which was good too--Kokichi hadn’t been kidding when he said he just wanted to spend any sort of time with Kaito. 

“Mm?” Kokichi hummed, shifting slightly to tug his shirt up and off, taking Kaito’s hint. “Miu? I mean...I’ve threatened for a while to come see her. And I don’t think you’d need to do more than just say the word ‘vibrator’ to get her throwing all kinds of nasty stuff at ‘cha.”

Throwing his shirt to the side of the bed, Kokichi leaned to the side, combing his fingers through Kaito’s hair again, though following the direction he’d gelled it. “...I can barely even imagine actually seeing her, though… We’ve talked to each other through letters for so long that it just...feels like it’d be awkward, talking in person. But I’d like to see her, one day. We did talk about taking some trip to Pifet as a group, anyway, try to see some sports. Check out the industry over there. I think Miu would love to show off some of her work that’s made it more widespread.”

“I like the idea of meeting your friends, even your weird, zappy-dildo making ones…” Kaito smiled into the next few kisses, just shy of actually putting his lips against Kokichi’s nipples, but kissing around that area, running his hand up and down Kokichi’s side. “Anyone who made my ‘Kichi happy… you deserved every happiness…”

Kaito paused, kissing at Kokichi’s collarbone, before looking at his husband curiously, propping himself partly on top of him, but resting most of his weight on his elbows on either side of his husbands chest, idly tracing his fingertips up and down the dip of his throat as he said, “You’re a big sports fan, aren’t you. I always forget that. You were a total fanboy of Nadya’s, right? Her baseball thing?”

It was an odd friendship, the relationship he and Miu had. Mostly made of constant, mutual antagonizing. Kokichi honestly had no idea how it would fare outside of letters, but...he was excited to get the chance to see. After his first letter talking about their prospective honeymoon in Danganronpa--which, obviously didn’t happen--she had nailed him in every letter, calling him out over not actually visiting her. 

...he was genuinely torn between the idea of just showing up at her workshop one day out of nowhere, and wanting to be a good guest. 

Humming happily, Kokichi scooted himself under Kaito a little more, reaching up to touch against Kaito’s chest and abdomen, just giving his husband loving caresses. And getting to tactically feel up a bod he loved to ogle. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m a big fan,” Kokichi hummed, tipping his head up and to the side to give Kaito more room to touch. “And you’ve got to admit, it’d be shocking to anyone, having a famous baseball player suddenly show up to be your assistant… But sports are fun to watch. Whenever there’d be, like, non-stadium games, ‘cause you need tickets for those, I’d love to go watch for a while… It’s really amazing, the heights people can reach within a sport. Sometimes, in hockey games, the players are so adept that I can barely follow the puck with how quickly they’re weaving it around.”

“Hmm… we should go to a game then. Let you and Maki have some fun.” Kaito mused, leaning down to nuzzle his nose into the crook of Kokichi’s neck, sighing softly in contentment as he said, “I always liked playing sports more than I liked watching them. I get into it when I go! But I never just think to go by myself. If I was going regularly, it was usually because someone I was dating was really into them, or someone I was dating was in them…”

Kaito bit the inside of his lip. It was gonna be another dumb question, he… he felt like he already knew the answer. He shouldn’t ask… ugh, but he was feeling pretty uncertain about things in general lately. He might as well just let Kokichi confirm what Kaito already expected. Mind reading and all of that…

“Hey, babe?” Kaito asked, bringing his head back up to look at his husband, placing a small kiss on his cheek, “...does it… bother you? How… many people I’ve been with?”

Kokichi nodded, a sad flash going through his eyes before he kissed the side of Kaito’s head, bringing his hands up to circle around his husband in a less passionate, but just as affectionate hug. “...I had been thinking of getting Maki-chan tickets for a hockey game for Unity… But that’s something we can do next year. Gives her a chance to feel out the teams more and maybe find one to root for.”

There had been a lot he initially was looking forward to showing or doing with Maki during the winter. But it wasn’t like they all had just this first year together--at least for Kaito and Shuuichi, Kokichi was hoping they’d have the rest of their lives, and for Maki, while he knew she wouldn’t be comfortable staying in the same place forever, he hoped that their home would always be a place she could return to. They would have plenty of time to experience life together. 

Getting a little existential, Kaito’s question caught Kokichi a little off-guard, blinking at him in slight confusion and shock. “Huh? No? I mean…” Kokichi raised an eyebrow. “You got STI tests done before we were together, so I know you’re not gonna pass anything on, and...by now it’s a little late for that.”

...it was too naive to say something like it didn’t matter how many people Kaito had been with, but…

Kokichi sighed, his expression calming as he gently rubbed up and down Kaito’s back. “There are some complicated things that come with it. Bad experiences you had...people you miss.” ...a whole lot of people Kaito would be missing for a long, long time. “...but I’m not bothered. Honestly, it makes me happy that Kai-chan found people to love, and people that loved him. And even the people that didn’t fit into either of those categories? They’re still part of the story that brought Kai-chan here today so...they’re important in that way. I don’t feel a need to hear all about them, or a desire to go meet them one day, but...whether there were ten people or a hundred, you’re still you, and that’s what I care about most of all.”

Kaito nodded, going to steal a few more kisses. That was largely what he had thought Kokichi would say, but still: better to know. There was no changing it now, of course, but… Kaito could bring up his personal history less often, if Kokichi hated knowing about it. It was just so much of his personal experiences were kinda wrapped up in other people, that it was hard to mention most anything about his life without mentioning something about who he was dating at the time. Or ‘seeing’. Or ‘doing’. 

Kaito had filled his life with other people. Looking back on it now, he had… maybe overdone it, honestly. It probably wouldn’t have hurt him to be alone sometimes… he had always just felt anxious, though, by himself. Unless he was in the temple, because then Atua was there and he wasn’t really alone, but just hanging out in his apartment by himself? 

Kaito hadn’t been able to stand sitting with only his own company. He had never really felt alone, he had more just… felt like he was… perpetually uncomfortable. That same sort of endlessly ‘watched’ feeling that compelled him to turn toys with eyes around and never keep paintings with eyes that seemed to be staring out. Heh… that ‘observed’ feeling lessoned, when he was around other people, funnily enough.

Like having a cat in a house that went bump in the night. Noises stopped being alarming, cause it was obviously the cat… and when the cat was gone? Suddenly every sound was that much more terrifying.

“Okay,” Kaito said, grinning down at Kokichi, only mildly sheepish, “I figured, I just wanted to be sure. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable babe… I’m glad I ended up landing on you, when it comes to finally settling down. You make it easy, to give all that up. No one compares to my ‘Kichi… except Shuichi, but I have a feeling we kinda already agree on that.” Kaito laughed. 

Kokichi went into the kisses softly, gently swiping his tongue at Kaito’s lips, but not pressing for more. He wasn’t sure what sparked this particular bout of insecurity, but he was happy to reassure his partner. 

Kaito was changing a lot. Had changed a lot. And like any change...you couldn’t always definitively tell if it was for the better. But Kokichi was fiercely proud of his husband for the changes that Kokichi pretty damn firmly believed were for the better, and for everything else, he would always be at his husband’s side to be with him through figuring out what changes to keep, and which to keep morphing. 

Life was constant adaptation, but Kokichi was determined to remain a constant of having his hand in Kaito’s along the way. 

Smiling softly, Kokichi stole one more kiss as Kaito pulled away. “Definitely. And...I was so scared of being in a relationship, but I’m glad it was you, too. You’re so easy to love, and even when things are hard, I only have to look at you to renew my determination. I can’t imagine spending my life without you, now.”

“Oh yeah? Well, okay then.” Kaito chuckled, giving Kokichi a fond look, “I guess with a declaration like that, you get to keep me. I’ll allow it. Though, just remember you said that when Shuichi inevitably tries to kick me out of the bed for being too pushy. When I’m all curled up and sad in the shrine, you can argue my case to him, yeah?”

“Nnnnm!” With a slight squeak, Kokichi pushed himself up from the bed to kiss at Kaito’s neck, though that was perhaps the more underwhelming of the things he did, since he slightly bounced, wrapping his legs around Kaito like a sloth to cling to him. “Like I wouldn’t be following you to your shine and trying to make sure you’re alright. And giving Shuu-chan puppy-dog eyes so we can all be in bed together.”

“‘Kichi!” Kaito laughed, having to steady himself as his husband leached up around his whole body, putting his hand on Kokichi’s back to steady him a little as he chuckled into his hair, rolling onto his back and taking his husband with him, “Pfff… god, your grip really is incredible when you want it to be. There are nights where you’ve clutched onto me in your sleep where I’m seriously tempted to just get up and walk around, wanting to see how long you can hold on. It’s honestly incredible.”

“And maybe if you’re also giving puppy-dog eyes he’ll relent. I show weakness around that guy? He gets mad horny.” Kaito huffed, looking briefly annoyed… before his expression broke, a grin on his face as he said, “It’s really cute, I still can’t believe that’s how he ended up. My Shuichi… who would have guessed?”

Kaito rubbed Kokichi’s back a bit, just enjoying the feeling of his weight on him. “Hmmm…” Kaito rubbed a little at the muscles around Kokichi’s spine, noticing small areas of tension against his fingers. Could just be from Kokichi sitting at a desk all day, but, “You feel tense, babe. I know you already said work went alright… you feeling okay regardless? No headaches, or…?”

“Pfffni-hi-shishishi!” Kokichi snickered unabashedly as Kaito laughed and rolled, not letting go for a second, though he did shift slightly to make sure his hands and feet weren’t crushed. It wasn’t so often, but he did like catching his partners off guard like this. “Can you blame me? Kai-chan’s definitely something worth holding onto.”

“And I think it’d depend for Shuu-chan… If he’s tired enough, I don’t think he’d open his eyes long enough for our puppy-dog eyes to work. At that point, he might just relent and let you back into bed just to shut us up. Otherwise,” Kokichi smirked, “He’d probably have us work to get back in bed.”

It was a funny thing, how that all turned out for Shuuichi. But while he did have a soft spot for Kokichi, Kokichi knew that joining in on the games Shuuichi set up would get to his boyfriend all the more. 

Kokichi sighed, already melting on top of Kaito a little as he pressed into the muscles on his back. “I’m okay… Gotta remember not to twist myself into pretzels, though, otherwise I’m gonna be stiff and sweaty. Buuuuuut~ You know I always turn into putty under Kai-chan’s hands,” Kokichi snickered. 

Kaito chuckled, shifting beneath Kokichi a little bit as more a signal of trying to get out from underneath him as he said, “Yeah? Here, let me sit up, it’ll be easier for me to put more pressure against your back.”

Obviously Kaito could have just moved Kokichi, but he still waited patiently for Kokichi to get in whichever position would be best for him before sitting up, more than happy to just touch and ease Kokichi’s muscles. “Ya know, thankfully, your back has never been as tensed up as it was the first couple of times I did this.” Kaito murmured, feeling out the small tension points, digging his thumb in to ease them flat and soft, “I swear, Kokichi, the first time? It was like your whole back was made of bones. It must have hurt, especially when I started undoing the knots, that couldn’t have felt good at first… my poor ‘Kichi, always needing to deal with a little bit of pain before he feels better…”

“Even before I got here and threw a whirlwind through your whole damn life, you must have been so stressed out so often… my ‘Kichi with his back of rocks…”

With a hum--partially excited for a Kaito-brand massage, and partially disappointed because he needed to get off of Kaito to have it--Kokichi shifted off of his husband, scooting more towards the middle of the bed to sit and let Kaito work his magic. And magic it really was, Kokichi almost immediately sighing as Kaito gave his back muscles a talking to. 

“It wasn’t...hm, amazing, but the relief from, uun, from the first knot relaxing? It was so good that the rest didn’t really hurt as much. I didn’t even realize my back hurt so much until you, hhhn, gave me a taste of what no pain felt like…” That probably made for a pretty scary testament, if Kokichi’s knotted back had just been business as usual, while the pain his body went through on bad days left him writhing in bed. 

It was probably a sign he should be seeing a regular masseuse, but...Kokichi preferred it when Kaito was giving the massage. 

Huffing a soft, groaning laugh, Kokichi shook his head a little. “Considering literally everyone I knew was always telling me to chill the fuck out...yeah. It’s...ung, already a stressful job, but...I was always making it harder on myself… And sleeping erratically definitely wasn’t helping either…”

“It’s hard, being leader.” Kaito sympathised, leaning down to place a small kiss against Kokichi’s neck before focusing on his lower back, likely where Kokichi had stayed half bent at his desk all day, “You have all these expectations on you, all these important responsibilities to keep up with, decisions to make, people to help. I’m always gonna be grateful you finally got a staff member to help you out. Doing all that work you do here, in your bedroom? By yourself? No wonder you weren’t sleeping. It must have constantly felt like you were playing catch-up.”

Kokichi closed his eyes and let himself just relax into Kaito’s massage, his mouth going slack for a bit before he hummed, agreeing with Kaito’s perspective. “I used to feel like...I was failing if I couldn’t, nng, empty the incoming business box in the mailroom… And that’s not even including the stuff that we don’t get mail for, and just have to prepare for routinely…”

“No one told me to do that,” Kokichi groaned, something in his back twinging and relaxing. “Really...the only times the box got emptied, before I started, was during the snowstorms, just ‘cause we...hhhoo, we can’t get incoming mail, really… There’s not a lot of work that needs to be addressed the same day it comes in...so the admins delegate things more spread out, usually.”

Kokichi shivered, a little vibration sounding in his throat as Kaito worked on a tender spot. “...but I felt like I was letting everyone down if I couldn’t get everything done… But nothing is ever done for a leader…” He took a deep breath. “...even now...it kinda stresses me out when I try to...nga, list out everything that needs to get done… But I try to just focus on one task at a time...and not worry about everything else. It’s...a work in progress…”

“Well, I think you’re doing great.” Kaito insisted, smiling slightly at the little noises. Man, his Kokichi probably had no idea what he did to Kaito… he couldn’t. If he knew, he’d never do it. Kaito remembered trying to explain to Kokichi that wanting to pleasure him was far from a selfless act on Kaito’s part. He loved feeling Kokichi relax in his hands… “And I think if this is how you’re starting? Man, imagine you a decade from now, two decades… you’re going to be incredible. Dicea’s going to be so damn lucky to have you… more than now, even, I mean.“

Kaito went to place a few more kisses on Kokichi’s back, before wrapping his arms around Kokichi’s waist and hugging him tightly, resting his head on Kokichi’s shoulder, “I love you so much… I know I’m like the most biased opinion on the planet, like, as a rule… but I really think I love you because you’re amazing, not that I think you’re amazing because I love you… I know that can be kinda interchangeable for me, but… I really do tend to fall for people who are amazing, in some way. And I love you more than anyone…”

Kokichi grinned, feeling loose and comfortable and just...so in love with his husband. He sat back against Kaito’s--regretfully still clothed--chest and hugged the arms wrapping around him, tipping his head back to kiss Kaito’s ear. “Thank you, love. I only want to live up to those expectations.”

“And I love you more than I even thought possible, honestly,” Kokichi hummed, playing another kiss on Kaito’s ear. “Sometimes it feels like I was born to be in your arms, that my hand was meant to fit in yours as we spend our lives together… I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Sighing, Kokichi tipped his head back even more to rest on Kaito’s shoulder, before nuzzling it softly with a snort. “...well, you not wearing a shirt would be an improvement in at least this moment right here.”

“Pfff, you lech. I swear, you only love me for my body.” Kaito pretended to pout, before giving a loud, obnoxious kiss against Koichi’s forehead, snickering, “No, I take it back. You only love me for my slightly above average temperature. Once summer really starts hitting us, you’re gonna want nothing to do with me.”

Still, Kaito took the hint, and after a moment wrestled himself out of his shirt, tossing it aside and taking a moment to stretch his arms above his head, before settling in to run his fingers up and down Kokchi’s stomach and chest, going from his neck, down over the flat line of his chest, over his stomach and down his happy trail, before idly playing with the button on his pants again, humming to himself thoughtfully as once again he considered pushing the envelope…

“...are you still tense anywhere, ‘Kichi?” Kaito asked, saying it softly into his ear, “Anywhere else you want me to relieve some stress?”

Kokichi snickered but sat up when Kaito started moving, letting him take off his shirt. “You’re not entirely wrong. But it’s more like this summer’s gonna be a horrible battle between me wanting to cuddle my hot-stuff husband and getting too hot. Just watch,” he rolled his eyes, “You’re gonna catch me sulking as I crawl into the bathtub in the middle of the night, lonely but trying not to die of heatstroke.”

Letting out a happy noise as Kaito started touching him again, Kokichi stretched his body out, keeping things inviting and encouraging, and...it sounded like Kaito was asking for permission. Which generally indicated a pretty firm yes for the asker. 

Running his hands down Kaito’s legs, Kokichi hummed luxuriantly. “I could think of a few things we could do that are pretty stress-relieving… And I’d be more than happy to do any of ‘em.”

-

Kaito blinked ‘awake’.

At least, that’s what he thought he was doing. He and Kokichi had had a good, energetic time, and while his husband needing to nod off at the end of sexy times was a given, even Kaito had found himself a little sleepy by the time he had finished, curling up with Kokichi as they started to nod off in the warm, afternoon air.

Kaito had gone to sleep looking at Kokichi, debating waking him up to insist they should probably clean up before Shuichi stumbled on them all spent and stuff, but finding himself caring less and less as he started to drift off…

And now he was… ‘awake?’

Or, well, he was probably dreaming, huh?

Kaito looked around, surprised at that. Was he lucid dreaming? That was kinda cool… he wasn’t sure if he had ever lucid dreamed before… no, no, wait, he totally had, that’s right, he had lucid dreamed as a teenager, had tried to have a sexy dream (since, like, why not, right??) and ended up having a really existential conversation with the person he was trying to sleep with in his sexy dream. He had told them he was dreaming, they had started to cry, it had felt too awkward to keep going after that, he had just ended up comforting them until he woke up.

As Kaito looked around the beach, he wondered ‘Is it too much for me to try to have a sexy dream now? I did just have sex… that’s a little much, right? What else can I do here…’

He got up from sitting on the sand, and looked around the beach, only to realize very quickly it was an island. Like, a tiny island. Two Kaito’s could maybe lay down on it head to foot and fit within it, any direction. It had a palm tree on it. That was cool. Palm trees were nice.

There was a vast, vast ocean on every side of him, and an endless blue sky above, coated in thick, white clouds…

“The dragons up there.” A large man, with reddish skin and dark purple eyes, said, sitting at the base of the tree. “Sometimes you can see her.”

Kaito glanced at the man, looked up at the sky, “...oh yeah?” He asked, “That’s neat. 

Kaito went to go sit by the man, and okay, yes, fine, it’d be a lot to have a sexy dream right after a sexy time with his husband, but… Kaito’s face went beat red as he realized, sitting next to him, how much bigger this guy was to him. It was like sitting next to a damn wall of muscle. Kaito wasn’t used to being around anyone who made him feel small, and this dude was ripped and hot too… and he wasn’t gonna lie, all the scars didn’t hurt. Visually. Probably hurt when he got them though…

“So, are you here to watch the dragon then?” Kaito asked, feeling flustered digging his toes into the sand a bit and grinning up at him, “Like… like bird watching, sorta? That’s a fun hobby… I mean, if its dragons and not birds. Bird watching feels less fun, honestly.”

The man gave him a tired, but not unkind, look, shaking his head, before pointing to the ocean, “Hiding you from the fish.”

“...oh! I’m being hidden?” Kaito asked, looking curiously at the ocean, not able to see any fish from here, “That’s cool… why from fish?”

“They’re dangerous. They eat anything. Each other. You. Me.” The man said, his voice starting to rasp strangely near the end of the sentence, wincing as he massaged the side of his neck, “Dragon said to hide you. So, here we are.”

“Well, if the dragon said so…” Kaito grinned, and like, it’s only a dream, so… “I love your hair…I mean, obviously. It doesn’t look gelled though…”

The man looked surprised, before subconsciously running his hand through it, “Just sorta does that.”

“Jealous.” Kaito grinned, “I’m Kaito, by the way.”

The man hesitated, “...the names-”

-

An alarm went through Kokichi’s mind.

Madison was trying to get a hold of him.

Kokichi was barely even in the version of their room in his mind before he opened a portal to Kaito, feeling a tug from Saint Madison for the very first time. Despite it being the first time, though, there was no mistaking what it was. 

He knew a tug didn’t necessarily mean danger, it just meant that Saint Madison needed to talk with him, and that could just be for an idea she had for helping out Kaito, but…

...it could also be danger. And Kokichi wasn’t going to hesitate. 

Kokichi grimaced as he touched down in Kaito’s mind, the air feeling stiflingly hot. But...not like the kind of heat that came from being in the summer sun. It was more like being in a room with horrible ventilation and a big light that had been on for hours. And as Kokichi looked around...that might be the equivalent to what was going on. 

He was back in what once was Kaito’s lobby, but if the last time he’d been there it had looked like a theater set, then now it looked like a child’s bedroom recreation. The buildings weren’t to scale, even to each other, and nearly all detail was lost in the flat facades. The sand that had been present in the air and ground was gone, just replaced with slightly beige flooring, and the artificial lighting felt leagues away from anything even close to resembling the sun. 

...what happened when someone couldn’t maintain a lobby, he supposed. 

Sighing, Kokichi called out to the woman who had called him. “What’s going on, is Kai-chan in danger?”

Vines shot up and wrapped around Kokichi’s feet.

They pulled him under the dirt, dragging him through the earth with speed and power. It was a painless journey, but not an easy one, the crunch and rush of the dirt shifting into the strange, odd sound of stone squishing and easing apart like plado, the ground morphing to give Kokichi room to be pulled through it, before finally he was dropped through a ceiling, landing in the castle hallway.

This was, surprisingly enough, a hallway that would be familiar to Kokichi. He had seen it twice in his life now, three times if you counted viewing an old memory of it as an adult. Once when he was a child, once as an adult looking at that memory of a child, once in Byakuya’s mind, running through it with the company of a child envisioned through stress and expectations. 

Saint Madison grabbed Kokichi’s arm from around the corner and pulled him out of potential sight, putting her finger to her mouth and glancing down the hallway… before saying, “He’s already trapped the dogs, and the vines snapped around him. I tried to confront him, and he pushed me to the other side of Kaito’s mind. He hasn’t been here long, I contacted you the moment I realized I couldn't force him out. Five, ten minutes at most.”

Saint Madison looked frustrated with herself, briefly, before sighing, “‘That fucker’ is back.” She explained, using Kokichi’s name for him.

Kokichi quickly crossed his arms over his face, even if the dirt and rocks parted and didn’t hit him at all. And while it was a little much, there was a part of him that was happy to see the defences working as intended, even against him. He could rest easy that Kaito’s mind would be protected…

...mostly. 

But that was why Kokichi was there. 

Back in the Luminary castle, Kokichi listened intently to Saint Madison, his eyes widening in shock and rage before…

He took a breath. Temp had said that this wasn’t who they had been, once. But they still didn’t have business here. 

Kokichi gave the warrior a nod. “Thank you for calling me. I’ll go talk with them...and if they don’t decide to leave on their own, I’ll handle it. I’ll entrust Kai-chan’s safety to you, as always.” He assumed that’s why Kaito’s self-projection wasn’t here, at least. Giving Saint Madison a respectful nod, Kokichi took a breath and stepped forward. 

...he didn’t have the necklace. Kokichi had gotten a lot stronger since they had battled the original Tengan, but...the old man had been right. There was power in what was familiar, and Kokichi wasn’t sure if he would be able to withstand the intruder trying to push him away, especially if they had already succeeded with Saint Madison. 

But he still had to try.

Coming into view, Kokichi’s brow was furrowed, but his eyes weren’t narrowed in pure hatred. “What are you doing here?”

Kazou jumped slightly, looking over his shoulder in alarm, his hands tracing some books, trying once again to try to pull one of the books from the bookshelf… but it was like it was locked. Everything was locked…

(“I’m going fishing tomorrow, actually.” Kaito grinned up at his new friend, his mind-- and all of its details-- safely locked away with him. “I bet that’s why I’m dreaming about this.”)

And for a brief second, Kazou’s face was blank… familiar and hollow, only in its neutral emptiness, Tengan recognizable in his expression…

And then he blanched nervously and laughed awkward as he started tapping his index fingers together, taking a nervous step back, “Oh! You’re… here already! I, uh, I knew you were an empath, but I sort of thought I’d have more time… remarkable defenses, by the way! I haven't seen anything like the woman before! Been dodging her since I arrived, one swipe of that blade of hers and I imagine my tether here is capoot.”

Kazou looked around, still desperately searching or something, anything, already knowing his self-imposed mission was probably done for, but…

“I know this is terribly rude, truly, I’d never come here if I had thought of another way--” Ths was not, entirely, true. Kazou had been fighting the urge to come here for quite some time, and honestly, may have jumped on the first legitimate excuse he had to do so. Knowing everything he had done to this mind, it was… tempting to want to just come back and… fix everything… “I’m, uh, I’m looking for an obscure memory that this man might have… um, forgive me, I know you know me, but I feel compelled to introduce myself. My name is Kazou Tengan… um, if you must address me as anything, please address me as Kazou, it’s how I… think of myself, essentially.”

And with that, he bowed, radiating a nervous energy.

...of course Kokichi’s first reaction was to be on his guard, his kneejerk response to think that this person was just acting, putting on a show to save their ass. But...he knew that wasn’t true. And even if this person had the same face...they weren’t that bastard. Kokichi didn’t have to give them a million chances, but...he didn’t need to be hostile. So far...they only thing that they had done was come into someone’s mind all sneaky and push away their defenses. Which was shitty and invasive, but...worth a conversation first. 

Kokichi let out a deep sigh, but gave Kazou a nod back. “I’m glad to make your proper acquaintance--honestly, I wasn’t really sure what to call you. I’m Kokichi Momota Ouma, and we are in the mind of my husband, Kaito Ouma Momota. Though...you know that.”

Giving Kazou an unimpressed look, Kokichi crossed his arms. “...the defences are here for a reason, you know. They’re kinda supposed to keep people from rooting around in here. Even if you’re looking for something that pertains to yourself, that doesn’t give you the right to use him like an encyclopedia.” For a moment, Kokichi’s gaze softened. “...it wasn’t you who hurt him, I know, but don’t start that trend for yourself. I’m asking you to leave.”

Kazou knew there wasn’t a lot of arguments he could make for himself right now. The info he needed would be helpful, certainly, but… it wouldn’t make or break the plans they were setting up to hide the newly freed Luminary empaths. And, honestly, he didn’t even know if Kaito knew them. He only knew Byakuya didn’t and Kaito was the other poor kid that Tengan used to monologue at because he was certain the kid couldn’t really understand him. And Kazou knew that Tengan had known where the hidden empath community was, and had been keeping that secret under wraps to give to Chisa when it was time for her to impress the queen and be announced his successor…

(As her ‘favored pet’. Great. Woohoo. What a privilege he had been setting her up for. The only thing Kazou found more baffling about Tengan’s actions was the sheer, honest belief in them he had.)

And he doubted any of that would mean anything to Kokichi, the prince having no reason to involve himself or his husband-- unknowingly, even-- to Kazou’s problems…

“...I-I can fix some of it, you know?” He suddenly said, feeling like this was maybe his only chance to offer this, that possibility keeping him up at night, “The memories, I mean. Take… take some of the… the bite out of them… I don’t really know how much he remembers specifically, but I know he…” Kazou looked over his shoulders at the books, memories, locked away and lining the wall, “...definitely remembers… a lot of it.”

“And that seems cruel. I barely remember what I… what he… what happened.” Kazou settled on, his old, wrinkled face sighing, “It seems unkind, to leave the child with all those vicious memories, while I get the comfortable blanket of a fog… I could fix it.”

Kokichi’s mouth pulled into a deeper frown, though his eyes only softened more. (...even if he wasn’t sure the conflict he was getting from Kazou was necessarily about this.) “...I get what you mean, but…”

“...that’s not actually a solution.” It was so hard to navigate things like this when the ‘magical hypotheticals’ were actually real. But Kokichi was sure about this. “Softening the memories doesn’t change the fact that it happened. And…” Kokichi glanced up at the old man--actually an old man in the mindscape, not the idealized version that asshole had donned before--searching his face. “...even with you not really remembering, that doesn’t change the fact that it still hurts, doesn’t it. It just leaves you with uncertainty and a vague impression that something wasn’t right. Covering up the memories isn’t fixing anything, it’s just burying it.”

Kokichi let out a sigh, his shoulders dropping. “...people like us have an incredible gift. But...I’ve decided that doesn’t give anyone the right to play with others’ lives as we see fit. And for the people around me, I’m going to protect them from that.”

“...I heard that you’ve been working a lot to make up for the harm the person who once had your body did,” he continued softly, giving Kazou a gently sympathetic look, though there was no crack for them to pry into. “So...that’s why I’m not just kicking you out immediately. But even if it’s for a good or noble cause, I won’t allow my husband to be manipulated, and I won’t allow selfish actions to be taken out on him.”

Kazou understood… he wished it was different, but he did understand. 

And he said as much, before sighing, letting his shoulders drop… there were so many things that he could never really atone for. Vague memories of atrocities that he did feel responsible for, even if he wasn’t the same person he had been before the Templar had clawed his way into his mind. He didn’t have much time left in his life, he couldn’t even begin to truly repent, the most he could do was try to set things up with his resources available to give the young people behind him a better chance to recover from his sins…

But Kaito and Byakuya were two victims he knew he’d never really get a chance to redeem himself too. As much as he wanted to, as much as he had interfered and abused them for the last twenty years, only a moment for himself, but their whole lives… there wasn’t anything, really, he could do. He couldn’t even give them the respect of a submission bow, because he couldn’t afford to die yet. There was too many things he had to do, so many other problems he had to at least try to fix…

“...if there is… anything I can ever offer you? Anything I have that you need… that he needs and he cannot ask of me himself?” Kazou said, bowing low, “Even if that request is… nothing more than a chance at vengeance. I cannot offer my life, it’s not truly mine to give away. But anything else? I will come if you call, Prince Ouma.”

And with that, Kazou was gone.

Just as Kokichi had thought when Temp told him what he’d done, replacing someone was just...a lose-lose. The original person was dead, and the new person was thrust into a life that was not quite their own with the weight of sins they had not committed. It was...a type of hell. 

It was just a moment, but Kokichi looked at the old man with pity before he returned a small nod. “I’ll hold that request respectfully. But...Kazou? ...I believe we’re on similar sides, these days, and Empaths help each other out. If you find yourself needing help, please consider me a resource. Just...ask me directly, rather than through my husband, though, alright?”

...Kokichi let out a small breath as the man left. 

Kaito had wanted to know why. Why Tengan had tortured him so much. But...Kokichi wasn’t sure Kaito really wanted the answer. And even if Kokichi got it...he wouldn’t be able to pass it on for a long time. And now...he wasn’t even sure if Kazou would have the answer at all. 

...maybe that was something for them to discuss one day. 

Gently, Kokichi felt out Kaito’s mind--not prying into anything, though he could feel the odd, disjointed parts where he figured the fragments resided--and confirmed that Kazou was gone. Turning, he called back to Saint Madison, “He’s gone, no ties or anything left.”

Saint Madison huffed, coming into the room and looking around, her nose wrinkling, “...hate this room. The walls are too thick here. Feels odd.”

Turning to Kokichi, she bowed slightly, “I couldn’t keep up with him. I would have tried more, experimented, but I thought it’d be better to go with the plan that would work, rather than ‘may’ work. I was correct to call you, though if you had been awake, I suppose I’d have simply had to try to trap him long enough to run him through… not like he could get to anything anyway.” She said, smirking a little, looking incredibly pleased with herself as she tried to pull a book out, showing it stuck firmly to the wall, “I wasn’t sure if it would work, but turns out an easy way to lock up everything is to just lock up the source. Has a ripple effect on everything… though that may have been what made my dogs and vines so weak.”

She said this as if she was just realizing it then, noticing the truth of it as she said it aloud. She pouted, her cheeks inflating a little as she blew air into them, clearly annoyed with herself that her brilliant idea had given her such a glaring weakness in turn… “Guess you can’t have everything.” She muttered, putting her hand on the hilt of her sword as she said, “Should I let him out of where I buried him? That fucker isn’t returning?”

…

Kokichi sighed, turning a distasteful look to the room. The walls of the Dicean castle were thick, purposefully so for privacy and insulation, but...it just felt gross and oppressive here. Though how much of that was Kaito’s impression, Kokichi would never know. 

At least he never had to go back. 

Turning back to Saint Madison, Kokichi gave her a soft, appreciative look. “Thank you for protecting Kai-chan, and thanks for calling me. Thankfully both Kai-chan and I are asleep right now, so...it works out. I’m not...sure what would’ve happened to Kai-chan if you ‘buried’ him while he was awake, though… Hopefully this won’t happen again.”

But for a high-level threat...it might just be the best option for keeping Kaito safe. Still… “...I’d be more wary of it, if he’s awake,” Kokichi murmured.

Giving the warrior a nod, Kokichi stepped out of the study, not wanting Kaito to show up if Saint Madison just brought him where they were, and...also he just didn’t want to be there himself. “I don’t believe so. Whatever remorse Kazou feels for what that asshat did, he also knows that I’m not going to stand by for him to do anything about it. And for a plan that’s going to be foiled, it’s not worth intruding on someone’s mind for failure.”

“Makes sense to me…” Saint Madison took her blade out of her sheath, thrusted it through the air, and where her blade cut, a path opened up--

-

“Annnnd tell me about that one?” Kaito grinned, shifting slightly in Caleb’s lap, pointing to the series of small scars in a circle around Caleb’s side, having talked the guy into taking off his shirt to show off some more of the scars.

Caleb, in turn, gave Kaito a mildly amused look, not nearly as excited as Kaito, but not against this sort of attention, as he said, “Tundra worm.”

“Holy shit that must have been a huge worm.” Kaito gapped, running his fingers along the what he assumed had to been the teeth of it, leaving behind thin, circle scars, light against Caleb’s dark, red skin. “It bit you?”

“The baby did.” Caleb said, looking tired at the memory, “Its mother swallowed me.”

“Wow.” Kaito’s eyes were wide with excitement, wanting the story of that adventure… before grinning wolfishly, as he grabbed Caleb’s hand and placed in on his own waist, saying, “Makes me wonder what other ‘big worms’ you might be hiding…”

Caleb raised an eyebrow at Kaito, before glancing at the portal that had just opened behind him. “Kokichi’s here.”

Kaito glanced behind him, seeing a hole in the world where a beautiful red-headed woman with a sword-- Saint Madison?-- and his husband were peeking in… “Oh my god, that makes this so much better, why didn’t I think of that before?” Kaito said, eyes practically sparkling at where he thought this dream was going. 

Saint Madison rolled her eyes, “We don’t need to hide him anymore, Caleb. Send him back.”

Kokichi snorted softly at the scene he saw through the portal, though his cheeks went a little pink. Classic Kaito. Though...the other guy there...Kokichi gave him a slightly quizzical look before giving a wave. “I can’t stay to chat, but it’s nice to sort of meet you, Caleb! Thanks for keeping Kai-chan safe!”

...it might just be the beach. The name and...relative complexion being a total coincidence. And Kokichi had barely seen the boy before he left to watch the turtles on his own. It was probably just him seeing things that weren’t there. 

Giving Saint Madison a nod, Kokichi hummed. “It looks like he’s alright, so...I should go. Thank you, again.”

“Awww, wait, he’s not staying? ...Hey!” Kaito protested, Caleb effortlessly picking him up as he stood, Kaito able to feel the very bizarre reality of just being picked up and brought places that Kokichi lived with every day, shouting, “Hey, come on! I don’t get to finish!? Noooooo, come oooooon!” 

Caleb was a nice guy, but he was merciless as he dumped Kaito through the portal, at Madison’s feet, and the second he landed, a change came over his expression. Less focused, seeing without comprehending. His ‘dream’, lucid or otherwise, over now that he was released back into the rest of his mind. Saint Madison pulled him to his feet, Kaito looked around, stepped, and was gone, immediately heading to another part of his mind, likely to have a real dream.

Caleb gave Kokichi a small nod… and then a small wave, looking briefly a little shy as the portal closed. Content to leave his husband behind as he went to go fade back into the ocean, the portal closing behind him. Saint Madison sighed, everything put back in its place. “Alright. Hopefully I won’t have a reason to call you again. Don’t think this changes anything. The rules are still in place.”

Kokichi laughed softly at his husband’s woe, but hopefully he would have a nice dream for the rest of their nap. And hopefully he’d have a nicer time once he woke up, remembering what had spurred their mid-day nap. 

...the others probably had access to that memory, too, huh, since Akane fully remembered him being her mate. 

...hopefully it was nice for them too. 

A little pink in the cheeks, Kokichi gave Saint Madison a nod. “Of course. I’ll only come when I’m needed, and for now my purpose is over.” Kokichi had just been about to step away before his eyes widened, something just popping into his memory. 

Quickly, he looked up at the saint with something approaching alarm in his eyes. “Oh! Oh, one more thing--our daughter is probably going to be an Empath too! Hiro said it didn’t seem like she’s gonna be a super strong one, but...just in case. Please be gentle with her if she shows up in Kai-chan’s mind one of these days--I’ll escort her back to her own mind.”

“...” Saint Madison’s face twitched, “I think the issue there might be less ‘keeping her out’ and more ‘trying not to keep her in’. Kaito’s will just fought me hard on that one. And it was only a hypothetical. I might need some refinement if she does show up to recognize her as an unwelcome presence.”

Kokichi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, though there was fondness in his eyes. Unfortunately for Kaito, he couldn’t have all doting all the time with Miya. “Alright… Okay. I’ll talk to Alter Ego about it, but...even if she does get strong enough abilities, it’s probably going to be a while so we have time. For Kai-chan’s sake...I’ll just collect information in case, but leave things be until it becomes a problem. Then we can work it out.”

“...maybe I’ll be able to convince him that she kinda needs to be in her own mind to live her life… People can multitask, but it’s really hard to focus on anything else.”

Saint Madison nodded, “You do that. Again, technically I’m aware that Miyako should count towards my rules, but the impulse is to let her stay… maybe show her pretty things. Make her outfits I can’t find in stores… play with her little toesy-woesy’s and teach her how to hive five with her tiny, itty bitty hands…”

Saint Madison twitched again. “Oof, that’s a strong instinct. Fix that when you can, I’m distinctly unhelpful in that mindset. Now… dismissed.”

Kokichi thought it was very admirable that he managed not to completely burst out laughing when Saint Madison got a bit more of Kaito’s instinct. As it was, the corner of his lips twitched, and keeping it to just that was something he believed was worth a whole trophy!

Clearing his throat, Kokichi gave her a serious nod. “W-will do. Have a good one.”

-

...back in the privacy of his own mind, but not quite falling back asleep…

“PFHIIII-NI-HI-HIHIHIHIHI!!!!”

-

The sound of water lightly hit the boat, a gentle breeze easing the hot day, Kaito grinning absentmindedly as he looked around the lake, enjoying the view of the other boats, the piers in the distance and the surrounding forest and distant mountains.

“...s~oooo, this is nice.” Kaito tried.

Timothy, in turn, looked bored out of his skull. “Yeah.”

Kaito frowned, scratching his chin a little, “...not loving it?”

Timothy shrugged. “It’s nice.” he said, without any real sincerity. 

“...it’s fine if you’re not loving it. This is your birthday gift, but we don’t have to do this.” Kaito told him, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“We drove three hours to get here.” Timothy said, raising an eyebrow at his father, “What, you want to head back now?”

“No, that’s a heartbreaker. No, I mean… we could go explore the town? Maybe do…” Kaito trailed off, clearly trying to think of something, “... I don’t know? But see if we can find something you’d like?”

Timothy shrugged, “I don’t dislike this.”

“Oh, okay…” Kaito tapped his shoe against the side of the boat, “...well, maybe we could talk about some stuff while we wait for these fish to bite!”

“I don’t wanna talk about Kimiko.” Timothy grouched, that subject being largely what they had talked about on the way to the lake together. “She’s just a friend.”

“I know, I know…” Kaito grinned, not believing that for a second, but having done about all the dad advice he could currently give Tim about it on the way there. It had mostly been about being respectful, but just being honest about your feelings upfront, and that if Cali got her feelings figured out before Tim did and asked first, Tim couldn’t hold it against the girls just because Cali was brave enough to ask! 

And then it had devolved into much more vague, worried talks about anything Timothy might have seen in the vents, with equally uncomfortable talks as Kaito tried delicately to explain to Timothy that there was certain types of privacy that needed extra effort to give people, and that was mostly if they were spending private time with loved ones, and, uh… wh-why? Well, you see, when… sometimes when two people want to spend alone time together-- with people they liked, and trusted, and--

By the time they had made it to the town, Kaito wasn’t entirely certain if he had cleared anything up for Tim or just made things more confusing. The most he felt like he had gotten through was that sometimes people wanted to spend alone time together, and that when you realized that was happening, it was important to give them space and leave them alone, and to not call attention to it!

Now, though?

“...Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Miyako…”

“Hm?” Timothy looked up, mildly interested, “Yes?”

“Well, I just wanted…” Kaito sighed, getting his head in order. You’re his father. He needs you to be confident, “I want to talk to you about any questions or concerns you might have about everything coming up? It’s a lot of pressure, to suddenly have a new baby sister. And I know everything we currently have is really new. It’s been a lot of changes. If there was anything you were worried about? I’m here to hear about it, kid.”

“I don’t think it’s a lot of pressure,” Tim said, watching the line on his fishing pole idly, “Mom has a lot of siblings. I have siblings too.”

“Right… but you don’t remember your orphanage, right?”

Timothy shook his head, “Not really. I remember the place, and I remember getting into the military program. But the other kids… not really.”

“That’s okay. I know your mom puts a lot of value in her relationship with the other kids at her orphanage, but you know Uncle Shuichi barely remembers the kids he knew as a child either, and he doesn’t really think of them as siblings as much as Maki does… not that she’s wrong to do so! I’m just saying you’re not wrong to not feel that kinship or familiarity either. It’s okay that the orphanage was just… somewhere you lived once.”

“I was close with the other drummer kids.” Timothy said, looking a little like he was trying to defend himself, trying to be more like his mother as he said, “They were sorta siblings, though we didn’t call each other that…”

“And that’s okay too… if you ever want to, Tim? We can try reaching out, seeing if maybe we can send them letters… look, what I’m saying is it’s okay for you to define those relationships the way they work for you. Your mother has dozens of siblings, and she values all of them. You maybe have a few from the military, and its okay, how much or how little you want to see them, either is fine. But Miyako is a sibling that will be living under the same roof as you, taking up time and attention from the adults around you… it’s okay if this feels different.”

“...I’m not planning to be a bad brother.” Tim said defensively, to Kaito’s surprise, “You don’t have to tell me I need to help take care of her, I already know that.”

“...” Kaito opened his mouth, closed it… tried to think of how to say this, “...Timothy, there will be times we might ask you for help. Maybe we’ll ask you to help get her bottle set up when our hands are full, or keep an eye on her at the park, or maybe we’ll just ask you to be patient because she’s crying and I need to go check on her while we’re looking over your homework. I won’t say that won’t happen.”

“But,” he said, giving his kid a soft, but stern, look, “You are still a child, and I’m sorry to tell you this, kid, but that means your responsibilities are a little different from ours. You’re not being expected to raise Miyako, not while we’re in the middle of raising you. Which means your main responsibilities are still doing well in school, and learning to socialize with other kids, and getting life skills for yourself… which means that my job is to make certain you don’t forget your job is to be kid… even when I’m distracted by the baby.”

There was silence for a moment. 

“I don’t really get what you’re saying.” Tim said.

“I’m telling you that I have a responsibility as your father to take care of you. We talked about this when mom left, remember? Everything I told you then? Doesn’t stop being true when Miyako gets here. You should expect my attention, okay? If you don’t feel like you’re getting it? Complain. Whine. You’re allowed. You’re my kid. You can hold me to certain standards… my job is to take care of you. That doesn’t change.”

“...okay.” Timothy said softly.

Kaito grinned uneasily. “Okay.”

There was more silence.

“...maybe we could…if it’s alright...” Tim glanced over at Kaito, looking uncertain, “...I mean… I saw an archery course on the way here…”

“Let’s go shoot arrows!”

-

The day wasn’t actually all that different, other than seeing Kaito and Tim off in the morning--and even that wasn’t as early as training sometimes was. Kokichi went to work, checked in on Shuuichi, went to therapy, checked in on Shuuichi again… Really, the strangest part of the day was not seeing Kaito right next to him when dinner came about. 

Which...also came with the realization that he had no husband there to whine about spicy kisses, so Kokichi loaded up on curry, even taking from the “medium” pot for once. 

Letting out a little “hoo”, his face a little red, Kokichi took a strategic sip of his milk before humming, talking to the table more generally. “...I hope they’re having fun. I wonder what they’re doing for dinner… ‘Course fresh seafood is by there, but I’ve always heard there’s some cool pubs ‘n stuff since the lake draws in tourists…”

“I have to imagine they’ll be eating the fish they catch.” Maki said, her nose wrinkling slightly as she got some of the waft of Kokichi’s meal. She really didn’t know how he could stand it. Her nose itched just smelling it, “They’ve probably been at it all day, I’d assume they caught enough for a dinner.”

“I’m not sure if Kaito has the patience for fishing…” Shuichi mused, his eyes watery as he ate lightly at some curry that was way too hot for him, but man his body wanted it. “And I don’t know if Tim even likes fishing? When he told us that story about fishing with his squad leader,he said they spent most of that time scaring fish off because he was swimming around the boat. I’m not sure why Kaito picked fishing at all?”

“They’re not going to not fish after driving out all that way.” Maki huffed, rolling her eyes, “If they don’t love fishing already, they’re about to discover a love of fishing. Or at least see it through.”

“Mmmm one gold that says they gave up fishing the first day?” Shuichi bet.

“I’ll take your money. They’ll fish all three days.” Maki huffed.

Kokichi nodded slightly. They could be having bad luck, but even if they managed to catch two fish during the whole day...well, maybe it might not be enough for Kaito, but it might be close. And while Kokichi wasn’t quite brave enough to eat non-cleaned lake fish, his nephew and husband definitely were, and all they’d need to do was get some skewers and a firepit and get roasting. 

...if they actually spent all day fishing. 

“I dunno,” Kokichi hummed, eating another spoonful of his own dinner, “This is Tim’s birthday present. He seemed fond enough of the fishing story that Kai-chan planned the trip, but if Tim gets bored, then I can’t see them stickin’ to it. And Kai-chan’s been pushier about getting Tim to say what he thinks.”

Mixing up some rice and curry, Kokichi shrugged. “And the lake’s a touristy kinda place, yanno? There are plenty of things to do beside fishing, even if you just wanna go swimming. If they decide to hit the town around there, then who knows.”

“... Timothy doesn’t say what he thinks?” Maki asked, dipping her bread into some oil-based dipping sauce, keeping her tone carefully neutral. “How so?”

Shuichi glanced at Maki, before glancing at Kokichi. Sweat already pouring down his face thanks to the curry, so maybe his concern was a little harder to tell. 

Kokichi gave his friend a small smile. “Oh, he can be incredibly blunt, and it’s really funny to see Kai-chan get shut down by an almost-ten-year-old. But… I guess, ‘not saying what he thinks’ isn’t quite right…”

Taking another sip of milk, Kokichi swept his gaze out into the middle distance, trying to verbalize what he meant, before looking back up at Maki. “It’s like… There exists a state between liking something and disliking something, you know? Just kind of a neutral area that you don’t really care one way or another. And when Tim’s put in a position where he’s in that area...he’s not bothered by what’s going on, so he tends not to speak up, even if there’s something that he’d rather be doing. So...this sounds a little weird, but it’s like...Kai-chan’s been encouraging him to be more demanding.”

“Sure, it’s not like it’s feasible or even safe to do every single thing he wants,” Kokichi shrugged, “But we can’t propose things that he’d like if he never lets us know what he wants, you know?”

“...” Maki didn’t say anything. Her brow just furrowing in thought, still breaking apart her bread. Timothy wouldn’t speak up if he preferred something, huh…

Shuichi studied Maki’s expression. She didn’t look angry. More just concerned. That was probably a good sign. He relaxed, chipping in, “Timothy’s kind of a strange kid. In a good way, I think, I’ve never really met anyone else like him. He’s devoted, dedicated, extremely respectful, kind and has one of the most rebellious natures I’ve ever seen in someone with all the traits he has. He just…”

Shuichi paused, before saying, “You know what it is? Timothy’s what you get when you take a truly heroic nature, and leave it in the wrong hands.”

Maki narrowed her eyes, and Shuichi rolled his, “I don’t mean yours. I mean the military’s. Timothy was raised with a certain set of morals, and he has the actual nature and self-discipline to… really commit to what he thinks is right. He doesn’t get dissuaded by fear or selfishness or self-interest. He’s not apathetic to the suffering of others or unwilling to follow through on his sense of duty… he’s nine and basically all on his own decided to try what Maki at twenty-two was only willing to do with the backing and encouragement of the most influential people in the country. No offense…”

“Why offense?” Maki asked, her chest practically inflated, her shoulders square with clear, obvious pride, even as she said, “He’s kind of an idiot. Everything he did was a terrible idea, there’s a reason I waited for the right support--”

Shuichi rolled his eyes, “Uh huh. Yes, yes, you’re smarter than a nine year old, go on.”

“--but… you’re right. He has a heroic nature. Under the right guidance, he’ll grow up to do amazing things…” Maki paused, before sighing, “... and he’s already like that. He was like that before I ever got my hands on him... Maybe Kaito’s right. He’s been arguing to me that maybe we should… he keeps using the word ‘spoil’. He says he wants to spoil Tim more, make him more soft and selfish… I don’t want to ruin Timothy’s potential, but… Kaito does tend to recognize what people need from him… compliments and ‘in on the joke’ and all that other stuff he babbles about, all the sidekick stuff…”

“Maybe he just recognizes something about Tim that I can’t really see… if even you both recognize he needs more… freedom to demand things…” Maki sighed, biting into her plain curry, “Being a mother is hard.”

Kokichi nodded along with Shuuichi’s...well, more or less, case study of Tim. He was an incredible kid with a loyalty towards his friends people were lucky if they could find even one person to feel that way about and a work ethic to achieve anything he could want in life. And he very much was a kid, and maybe Kokichi was just feeling too much like an adult, but...sometimes it felt like Tim was trying to grow up too quickly. And for a lot of people who hadn’t gotten to make that decision...they really wanted Tim to take his time in his childhood. 

“I don’t think there’s ever been a single person to think that parenting was easy,” Kokichi smiled slightly at Maki. “To be fair, Kai-chan wants to spoil all of us. And...in my opinion? Being who you are, and the things you’ve already passed on to Tim...I don’t think there’s anyone really capable of stunting Tim’s potential. And...regardless of what you two decide on this,” Kokichi shrugged, looking a little strained as he obviously wanted to put in his own cents about Tim being able to be a kid, and that potential was amazing, but you needed to be able to figure out who you were to know what you wanted to do with that potential, but...he was an uncle, and this was really something Maki and Kaito should decide together. “He’s gonna grow, being taken care of by Maki-chan. I think that people can’t really help it, when they’re around you.”

“I suppose that’s true… how do you even spoil someone? What am I supposed to do? Buy him more toys? I suppose I could buy him more toys…” Maki grumbled, stabbing entirely unnecessarily into his curry, “I’m not letting up on training, it’s good for him and the girls… ugh. What would Kaito do to spoil him?”

“...what, hypothetically? Because Kaito just took him on a three day trip out of town.” Shuichi reminded her, raising an eyebrow, “You don’t have to talk about it like its a ‘what if’ scenario.”

“Right! But now I have to do something! I’m his mother, I should be able to think of nice things too!”

“Maki, you’re being too hard on yourself. Again. Timothy adores you, he thinks you’re the coolest person on the planet.” Shuichi reminded her, “Do literally anything with him, he just wants to spend time with you.” 

“I think Tim would get worried and bummed out if you stopped training now,” Kokichi hummed, only slightly amused by Maki’s brainstorming fury. He knew that it was something that genuinely bothered her, but...well, it was as Shuuichi soon pointed out. Tim looked up to Maki like no one else, and...maybe it was Kokichi’s bias again, but when it really came down to it, the biggest thing he had wanted from the parent-figures in his life was to spend time with them. 

Generally pointing his empty spoon at her, Kokichi offered an idea. “What if you let him stay up a little late one night, and the two of you do something together? Like...you could go out on one of the high balconies and look out on the city and just...talk, or just enjoy each other’s company. The warm evenings coming up would be nice for something like that.”

Shuichi nodded, lighting up at that a little as he said, “Yeah, or taking it one step further: take Timothy on a night hike. It made us feel special, sneaking around at night, seeing the world when it was strange and unusual, but happy cause you were with people you trusted and felt safe around… those are some of my fondest memories, growing up. I’m sure Timothy would enjoy it for the same reasons.”

“...you guys really think so?” Maki asked. Looking uncertain, “...I don’t… want to be a bad mother…”

Shuichi looked at her for a bit… before laughing lightly, “Oh boy… Kokichi, you and I are doomed. If being a parent has Maki acting insecure, imagine what it's going to do to us.”

“I’m gonna be a wreck,” Kokichi nodded knowingly, feeling a little more acclimated to the spice now, though he was still flushed. “I already doubt myself a lot, so it’s going to be nigh constant and locked in a dead-battle with my desire to be someone Miya can look to for security. It’s good to show vulnerability, but not constantly, and I doubt a baby’s gonna really comprehend any of it.”

Swallowing a mouthful, Kokichi gave Maki a grin and a thumbs up. “You’re a great mom that cares about her kid to the ends of the earth, and you’re gonna be a kick-ass aunt. We’ll all just have to remind each other to stop freaking out, so I’ll rely on you the same you rely on me.”

Maki huffed, nodded… and then got into an in depth conversation with the two of them about what the heck kind of toys do you buy a ten year old?? Weapons!? Were weapons toys!? Should she buy him a crossbow??

-

“Do not tell your mother I let you fire a crossbow from horseback.” Kaito told Tim as he steadied the kid between his legs, the two of them getting ready to take the horse out onto the archery field, “Seriously, she might actually kill me.”

“She wouldn’t want me to do it?” Tim asked, looking a little disheartened at that.

“Let’s just say your mom wouldn’t want you to do it without her around to make certain we were being safe. Like knife throwing stuff. But, it’s okay, I’m perfectly capable of protecting you- oh my god don’t point that at your knee.”

“Sorry! Sorry! Where do I point it!?”

“Not the sky either! Just put it back in its holster or point it at the ground, never lift it from the ground unless you’re ready to fire it! Okay? Okay… yeah, good, like that. Phew… totally got this. Let’s ride!”

Kaito and Tim went off, watched by the people who ran the archery, and as they came up to their first target, “Alright, kid, now you can go ahead and lift it out of its holster… uh…”

They rode past the target, and Tim didn’t bring it out. “That’s alright! We’ll get the next one. Alright, so, this upcoming one-”

“What if I hit the horse!?”

“Huh? Are… you aiming at the horse?”

“What if my arms bounce and I hit the horse!?” Tim asked, looking incredibly nervous, “I don’t want to hit the horse!”

“...” Kaito grinned, “Aw. That’s a good concern to have. Alright, if you don’t feel confident, what if we went back, stopped the horse, and you tried to shoot the target while we’re not riding? And I’ll keep my arms on yours to steady you. I won’t let you hit the horse.”

“But then we’re not doing it right…”

“It’s fine. We’re just having fun with this, you don’t need to be immediately good at shooting arrows from horseback, kid. You don’t ever have to be good at it, honestly. We just wanted to do this because it looked fun, remember?”

“Yeah…”

“Heck yeah! Alright, so, lets head back to the target, park the horse, we’ll give it our best shot. You still want to? It’s still a pretty hard shot, especially from horseback. It’ll be super impressive if you hit it!”

“...yeah! Okay,” Tim said, looking equal parts excited and uncertain. “Okay! Uh… just tell me when!’

“That’s my boy~” Kaito laughed.

-

Kokichi wasn’t...sure what it was. Sure, it’d been happening for a little while now. Sometimes when he was out in town, he’d get little...he wasn’t even sure what to call it. It was...almost like getting a hunch, that there was more to a person than what you’d see on first glance. Which was obvious, since everyone was like that, but…

(It wasn’t even confusion, really, though he didn’t know how he knew. But every now and then...Kokichi was positive that he’d met magic folk.)

He’d had court that day, and, maybe a little guiltily, he was glad it was happening when Kaito was out of town. He just...didn’t want to stress Kaito out more, since the last time hadn’t exactly been sunshine and roses…

But one of the people that showed up, a Miss Aomori, a toddler on her hip and a tall woman in the back of the courtroom entertaining a slightly older child with the same bright crimson red hair, she…

...well, she had come to the court on a plea of either needing alimony from her shitty ex, or getting an extra payout from the universal income. Raising two children on her own with all the extra accommodations needed for being legally blind naturally took a little more than she could afford, both financially and from the personal workload. Looking at all the expense and income forms she’d brought in, they had figured out a benefit bracket that she qualified for, and things seemed like they’d be alright, but…

(...she had been relieved about something for her child’s sake. Which was reasonable, but…

...had he imagined scales peeking out from behind her thick sunglasses?)

...maybe it was just more of the weird, maybe insanity stuff he was going through. Kokichi wasn’t sure.

A large man, familiar, walked in next.

He was carrying a large box.

“Gonta is happy to see everyone!” Gonta exclaimed, placing the wooden box on the table end as he gave the counsel a happy wave, “Gonta is here to show latest results of funds! And to request another research team to be funded to explore the teams latest findings! Gonta hopes everyone is having good day!”

All of the admins present--Kokichi, Aiichi, Ryouhei, and Yuliya, that day--looked at the box with various degrees of confusion, curiosity, and skepticism, though Aiichi and Kokichi snapped out of it first, each giving Gonta a grin while Kokichi gave the large man a little wave too. 

“Mr. Gokuhara!” Aiichi greeted with kindness, “It’s wonderful to see you again. I hope you’ve been well also.”

After the greetings, Yuliya, looking like she’d rather be anywhere but there--as per her usual--grumbled out, “The entomological surveys have steadily shown progress towards the repopulation of Biston Betularia, commonly known as the Peppered Moth, across western Dicea, aiding in the management of local avian populations, as well as natural aeration and irrigation channels.”

The woman looked bluntly at Gonta, not one to shy away from eye-contact, but not very comfortable with the person-facing aspect of this job. “If you have the proper forms, there shouldn’t be much of an issue considering approval for another research team.”

“What are the latest findings, Gonta? We haven’t gotten a new notice since the routine one a few weeks ago,” Kokichi brightly asked. 

Gonta adjusted his glasses, his toes stretching against the wooden flooring as he he pulled out some folders from his inner jacket, “Gonta has the forms! Gonta has looked over them thoroughly! Gonta hopes you will find his handwriting easier this time, ma’am!”

Then looking cheerily to Kokichi, he slapped the top of his box, “Gonta’s team has discovered the source of the moth poisoning! But unfortunately, Gonta’s team has found themselves outside of our areas of expertise. So Gonta has brought the culprit, hoping to show counsel the need of our further funding, and why Gonta’s team is reaching out to the department of Mycology study at the university!”

“Plus,” Gonta grinned, opening the box, “Gonta thinks it's quite pretty!”

The box’s front opened, and inside, growing on the walls of the box, were lightly glowing, light, light blue mushrooms, the glow so bright that the box itself almost became an extremely muted light blue lightsource, a weak lantern in the otherwise lit room. “See? Very pretty… and so far non-toxic to humans. But no one seems to know what exactly kind of mushroom this is? It’s growing in some underground caverns near the forests to the north, and it's been attracting the moths to come nibble, but it’s not good for moth friends to eat. We do not think they have been growing widespread, because only bug friends in that forest have been affected, but could be bigger problem someday if it spreads. So Mycology friends will help!”

Yuliya just nodded, taking the forms and looking them over briefly, but everyone stopped to look up when Gonta opened up the wooden box. 

Kokichi leaned forward slightly, face awed as he came face to face with something he’d only ever seen in illustrations in fantasy books. He knew there were some kinds of glowing mushrooms, but he’d always heard them described as having a soft glow, while these could practically be used as light sources themselves!

Immediately Kokichi’s brain whirred, thinking of applications for these mushrooms--a steady source of light in the winter, even in places that had less reliable generators for electricity--but...he’d had enough fungal nonsense messing up his and others’ lives for one lifetime. It was better for the mycologists to study them before anyone started getting ideas. 

“Wow… Gonta, that’s an incredible find...and I’m sure the mycologists will think so too. If it’s been affecting the moth population so much, it’s really important to see what else it might be doing too.”

Seeing the brief synopsis Yuliya slid over to him, Aiichi nodded as well. “You and all the others at the Gwyn Foundation have our thanks for your continued work in preserving Dicea’s ecological state. This new research study is approved, and we’ll reach out to the university mycologists who’ve agreed to this study about the funding,” Aiichi smiled kindly, “Same as last time, we’ll send over a seed amount in a week’s time, along with a timeline of when to expect the rest of the fund.”

Gonta grinned, “Thank you very much, friends!”

-

“Alright, so, what’s our story?” Katio grinned, looking to Tim as their carriage came up to the castle stables.

Tim glanced into his backpack, double checking the rations, “Uhhh… we both caught a few fish, though I got a really big one-”

“Uh huh.”

“-and we cooked them into jerky?”

“Yep! Fish jerky! It’s a thing! Apparently! We were lucky to find a store selling them!”

“Right… you realize they’re gonna figure it out in five seconds that we’re lying, right?” Tim asked, giving his father a raised eyebrow.

“Yeaaaaah, but that’s half the fun of it.” Kaito grinned, “Trust me, play along, you’ll see… awww, look at that! They’re waiting for us.”

The family was watching the carriage come up, Shuich giving them a wave as the carriage came to a stop. “Welcome back you two.” He greeted, “How was the trip?”

“Eyyyy!” Kaito shouted, parking the carriage and hopping off, “My guys!”

Unlike the past few times Kaito had been gone for a while, Kokichi didn’t feel an overwhelming, pressing need to be reunited with his husband. Sure, he had missed Kaito, but...it wasn’t a gnawing longing. Still, Kokichi had a wide, excited grin on his face as Kaito and Tim turned into the carriage depot, running over to Kaito as soon as he hopped off--and the horses had settled--to give him a hug. 

“Kai-chan! Tim, welcome home!”

Kaito laughed, opening his arms wide and catching Kokichi into his arms, holding him tightly for a moment before gently letting him go, rushing over to give Shuichi a hug as well. As Kaito kissed Shuichi on the cheek, before squatting down to talk at his stomach-- much to Shuichi’s annoyance-- Maki went over to Tim.

She took his head in her hands-- left, right, running her finger over his forehead-- before drawing him into a hug. “Hey… did you have fun?”

Tim nodded into her ribs, leaning into the hug, “Yeah.”

“That’s good… are you tired? Hungry?”

“Yeah. Um, I mean… I’m hungry, yes.” Timothy said, scratching at his chin a little, before glancing at his dad, “...um, but I can just eat the… fish rations that we caught.”

“Heck yeah we can! You should see all the fish we’ve got, you guys! We basically emptied that lake!” Kaito bragged, straightening up and giving Shuichi another kiss, “Show them, Tim!”

“Um, y-yeah!” Timothy said, opening his bag and pulling out the bags of fish jerky, “Check them out! We caught all this!”

It wasn’t like Kokichi had a hollowness in him that had been filled...but he felt much happier after Kaito’s hug. A reinvigorating feeling. And even if Shuuichi sighed and rolled his eyes, Kokichi had a feeling he was feeling happier too. 

After Maki and Tim had hugged, Kokichi went over, placing a friendly hand on Tim’s shoulder--still a little too skittish and not sure if Tim liked him that much to trap the boy in a hug yet--before looking at the bags of...fish jerky? In astonishment. 

At least until his brain caught up with him. The strips weren’t the thinnest, and even then, getting access to an oven for half a day seemed a little much, especially counting in the time it would take to catch and then cut and clean the fish.

...also, Kaito and Tim were just lying. But it was a fun lie. 

“Wow!” Kokichi whistled, not having broken from his original astonished look, though there was a glimmer in his eye when he realized Maki was probably going to have to pay out. “That’s a lot! Do you know what kinds of fish you caught? Must’ve been a few long days out there, huh?”

“Um… yes.” Tim lied, nodding very seriously, “It was a lot of fishing, Uncle Kokichi.”

“So much fishing! You should have seen the fish that Timothy caught! It was the size of my arm!”

“Bigger.” Timothy said without missing a beat.

“The size of my leg!”

“...” Shuichi narrowed his eyes at the fish jerky, before saying, “Okay, but if you two weren’t fishing, then what were you doing?”

“What!?” Kaito gasped, giving Shuichi a hurt look, “What are you talking about! We’re shocked!”

“Shocked.” Timothy nodded.

“Horribly offended!”

“It’s an insult.” 

“We caught these fish with our bare hands!”

“I sneezed and one of the fish jumped in the boat.” Timothy nodded.

Maki looked back and forth between the two… before sighing. “Well, there you have it. I won the bet. Pay up, Shuichi.”

“Kaito...I bet a gold on this.” Shuichi said dryly, “If you don’t fess up now, I don’t love you anymore.”

“Oh, shit, sorry kid, that’s checkmate for me. Yeah, we fished for like an hour and got bored.”

“Awwwww.” Timothy pouted, blowing out his cheeks, “We coulda taken that farther.”

Kokichi kept nodding as Tim and Kaito kept one-upping each other on the story, looking more and more impressed and trying to feed the lies. These were his favorite kinds of lies, the ones meant for fun, to make people laugh and keep pushing until the breaking point where even the most stoic was cracking a smirk. 

Though, they didn’t get to that point, Shuuichi’s pride and purse intervening. 

Snorting, Kokichi shook his head with a grin. “Barely even step one. But, hey, let’s help you guys get your stuff inside, and you can tell us all about how your hour fishing and all the other stuff you did was. I’m curious, was the jerky from a specialty shop or something? I didn’t even know they made fish jerky…”

“I am… relatively certain it’s actually fish jerky! I may have been publicly, specifically asking for fish jerky, and just bought the first bit of jerky that someone was willing to say was fish… but it tastes really good!”

“It tastes like beef.” Timothy said, looking mildly surprised as Maki took one of his bags, “Like regular beef… mom, I can carry both of those-”

“I don’t mind. Come on, I want to hear about your trip too. What did you do if you didn’t fish?”

“We pet a deer.”

“Oh my god, yeah! We pet a deer! Guys we found a deer and it let us pet it!! No joke!!!”

“And there was this place with all these water slides… that was a lot of fun.” Timothy admitted, looking a little embarrassed, “Cali and Kimiko are gonna be major jealous. Dad and I went on a slide that went straight down into the water.”

“Shuichi, you would have died, this slide was no joke like twenty feet high, my butt was clenched the entire way down. Timothy did it like a champ though, he didn’t even hesitate!”

Though he initially offered, Kokichi had less success convincing Kaito to let him carry one of the bags, but, well...there was always next time, he supposed. Instead he just gave the horses a pat, thanking them for getting his husband and nephew home safely and waved to Mari, who was coming to get the horses and finish up the “breakdown” of sorts for the carriage. 

“Like...just a wild deer?? And it let you get close??” Kokichi questioned incredulously, astonished that the notorious assholes deer were would actually allow a storybook moment like that to happen. ...well, okay, deer weren’t the biggest assholes, but in places where they were abundant they were yard pests, and they tended to be more likely to take a finger off than let a person feed or pet them. 

And that wasn’t even the most incredible thing they’d gotten up to, apparently. 

“Aaaaugh,” Kokichi groaned dramatically. “Man, I love stuff like that, but twenty feet? Tim, you’ve got nerves of steel for that kind of stuff.”

“Straight up a wild deer.” Kaito grinned, still practically bouncing on his toes at the memory, “Tim and I were taking a real early morning walk, watching the sun rise, all that good stuff, and this deer came right up to us! It was so curious and cute, it kept sniffing us and licked my arm at one point, and it let Tim pet her on her sweet little head… it was really cool!”

Timothy nodded, “It was really cool. She ran away after a bit though.”

“And we found a place called a ‘water park’! Not the first one I’ve been too, they’re all over Novoselic, but I haven't seen one of those since… I was fourteen, I think? Last time I was there. It was a lot of fun.”

Shuichi was listening with genuine interest, but as they got to the stairs, he looked up… “Um,” he sighed, “I need a minute. Sorry…”

Kaito gave Shuichi a concerned look, “You hurting, handsome?”

“I’m just tired. I know I’m not gonna be able to make it all the way up in one go, so I just wanna take a breath first.” Shuichi sighed, “Sorry. Tim, Maki, don’t either of you feel like you have to wait.”

“Do you wanna lean on me, Uncle Shuichi?” Tim asked, raising an eyebrow, not looking put out by the idea.

Shuichi smiled, “No, I’m sure your father and uncle would get all fussy if we tried that.”

“Incredible…” Kokichi shook his head with wonder. It sounded like it was a pretty amazing trip, the two of them breaking from the plan to just...check out anything that suited their fancy. He hoped it was a good birthday present--they would ideally have many, many more ahead of them to celebrate, but...there was something special about Tim’s first with them. And ten always felt special anyway, getting into the double digits. 

Noticing Shuuichi stop, Kokichi paused right by him, smiling with slight concern. It had been getting harder for him consistently for a while but...two weeks. This was the biggest Shuuichi would have Miya, and it wasn’t without consequence. But in two weeks, plus a bit of rest time...Shuuichi would have a much easier time with the stairs...and a lot of other things. 

Still, Kokichi couldn’t help but lament that they were a few years too early from the elevators being improved to regular use. They could’ve saved Shuuichi a lot of grief. 

“It’s better to wait until you’re ready,” Kokichi semi-nervously tittered. “But I’ll be here too if you need a hand, Shuu-chan.”

Maki glanced at Kaito, who gave her a wave, “Go, go, we’ve got him. Tim, go regale your mother with some stories. Tell her about that creepy bird!”

“Creepy bird?” Maki asked, her and Tim heading back up the stairs.

“It wasn’t creepy, it just really wanted to eat dad’s food and kept trying to stare him down…”

Kaito watched them go up, before looking to Shuichi, “You hungry handsome? We can delay stair time and go sit at the dining hall, have some food.”

Shuichi wasn’t really all that hungry, but if it put off stair time… “Sure. Kokichi? Are you hungry?”

Kokichi hummed and rubbed Shuuichi’s lower back gently before he shrugged. “Sure, I could eat. Aw, Kai-chan, you guys missed curry night the other day. Not something I think you’re too caught up about, but I got to eat a bunch of medium spice without feeling guilty about not being able to kiss you later. Miya took advantage of it too, much to Shuu-chan’s dismay,” he snorted. 

“Mm, I think we’re having a dumpling soup tonight? I think someone mentioned something about it at breakfast…” Kokichi gave his partners a smirk. “We might be able to get a few dumplings for lunch that are already made, if that’s what you’re feelin’.”

...it was nice, getting back into the swing of things. Talking about food and hanging out in the dining hall together.

“Man, I’ll eat whatever they’re serving, and then some. Driving a carriage all morning took it out of me.” Kaito laughed, though he was glad to hear he had missed spicy curry night. Spicy kisses were an epidemic! Kaito didn’t ask for much, dammit, why take away the sweet kisses!?

Man, he wondered if Miya was going to be as into hot stuff as Shuichi’s cravings suggested… he had thought the worst of it was going to be having one more sugar fiend. But a sugar fiend and a spice fiend? Horrifying.

As Shuichi sat down, Kaito started spreading the plates around, helping his boyfriend grab what was out of arms reach and ignoring Shuichi’s whining when he put more vegetables on his plate. “Don’t give me that. Did you two eat any vegetables in the last three days? Or did you take advantage of the fact I wasn’t here to give you the stink eye?” Kaito asked, giving them both a suspicious look.

It was a good thing it was right around lunch time, then. Kokichi didn’t think they’d be turned away if they came in for a late lunch, but it was much easier just to load up on what was already out than ask the kitchen staff if there was anything available. 

Kokichi just happened to save himself from getting the Kaito special by choosing to have a salad as his main dish, but that wasn’t the only reason he chose it! Puffing himself up a bit, Kokichi pouted at his husband and shook his head vehemently. “We did! We ate perfectly balanced, adult-chosen meals, thank you very much!”

...if weighted maybe a liiiiitle more on starches and sweets. But they did eat vegetables and fruits and protein and all that necessary stuff!

Kokichi shoved a forkful of his salad--tastefully and moderately dressed with a bit of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, so not even offsetting the nutrients with the dressing--just to prove his point, crunching on the greens and bit of tomato and mushrooms he got in the bite.

“Mmmmhm.” Kaito said, not looking at all convinced, but letting it go as he filled up his own plate and-- after confirming there was no honey bread to hoard-- filling his plate vegetables and meat, but also grabbing some of that watery soup that was basically just seaweed and salt. No way there was any nutritional value to it, but Kaito had to admit, it was pretty tasty.

“So… three days. What’d you guys get up too?” Kaito asked, sipping at the soup water.

Shuichi shrugged, “Not much, really. At least not on my end. I took advantage of the quiet and read a bit, got through another of those mystery novels.”

“Did the butler do it?”

“Kaito, the butler never does it. It’s such a stereotype that no mystery novel could possibly get away with it, even ironically, to compellingly make the butler do it…” Shuichi dug into his meal, and said, “It was the maid.”

Kokichi just stuck his tongue out and returned to his meal, happily trading off with slices of melon--still greenhouse ones, but they were going to be in season soon and Kokichi couldn’t wait! Along with strawberries~ There was always a stand during Zenith that made the best strawberry shortcakes, and this year Kokichi was determined to actually finish one.

Snickering a bit at the plot of Shuuichi’s book--Kokichi had asked along the same lines, not worried about spoiling himself if he chose to read them one day--he sighed a bit. “Not too much on my end either. Same as usual, except I went to court yesterday. Oh!”

Perking, Kokichi leaned towards Kaito, his eyes wide. “Kai-chan! Glowing mushrooms are real! Like, more than just the sorta glowing ones--like the ones in the Adventures of Link novels!!”

Kaito gave Kokichi a slightly astonished look, saying with his mouth slightly fully, “f’wah? ‘Eally?”

Swallowing it down, giving his Kokichi a curious look, he said, “Like, okay, paint me a picture. What are we talking here, big ones like the great fairies hide in, or little ones that light the caverns through the dungeons??”

“Um…” Kokichi faltered slightly. “The ones Mr. Gokuhara showed us were kind of the smaller type, but I didn’t think to ask about the sizes… But! There’s a team of specialists from the university that are gonna get funded for research about them, so we should be getting updates.”

Letting out a breath, Kokichi shook his head. “It was incredible, Kai-chan… They really were their own lightsource! If it hadn’t been the middle of the day, I think you could really light up a room with them. Apparently they’re growing underground in one of the north-western forests, and they attract moths to ‘em, but they’re poisonous to ‘em. They aren’t widespread, but no one really knows what they are, so that’s why the study’s happening.”

“...I don’t even know if I could mix up a blue that would really fit their hue… They’re really something else.”

Kaito sipped at his water a bit, nodding along with Kokichi’s explanation. Right, right, okay…

“...caaaaan we put them in the hot tub room?” Kaito asked, looking dead serious.

“Man, I wish…” Kokichi sighed, having thought about the same thing. He propped his head up on his hand, leaning forward over the table. “Maybe one day, but right now we really don’t know much about them. They glow, grow underground, are poisonous to moths, and so far don’t seem to be toxic to humans.”

Looking over, Kokichi gave his husband a sly look. “If it turns out there’s no issues with them? You bet I’m figuring out a way to put them in the hot tub room. Maybe, like...small, wall-mounted dirtbeds…”

Kaito lit up, genuinely excited, “Hell yeah! Blue mushrooms that glow sound like they’re begging to be decoration. Natures decoration! And, okay, sucks for the Moth Friends of the world,” Kaito sighed, heart breaking for his subjects, “But come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“I could think of a few things,” Shuichi pointed out dryly.

“Oh… Okay but what are the odds that’ll happen twice?” Kaito said, grinning after an embarrassed moment, nudging his shoulder against Shuichi’s, “We have to have all the worst case scenarios behind us, right? ...R-right?”

“Are you trying to jinx us?” Shuichi grumbled, “Go apologize to an egg.”

“...Yeah, alright.” Kaito sighed, getting up to go to the kitchen.

-

With two weeks left, they didn’t have a whole lot of time to spare. It was exciting! Because a baby was almost there! But also kind of stressful and terrifying, because their baby was almost there and, oh god, they had so much to do!

And maybe it wasn’t the most pressing thing, but their last therapy appointment with Dr. Mariah was happening soon, and...to the best of Kokichi’s knowledge, between the vent fiasco and Kaito and Tim going on Tim’s birthday trip, Kaito and Maki hadn’t tried out sending letters to each other. 

Which...was fine, but...Kokichi wanted to give them a chance to do it, if they wanted to try it out before their appointment. 

It was another slow afternoon and thankfully no one had left to go do whatever yet, when Kokichi looked around to his friends. “...you know, our last session with Dr. Mariah is tomorrow… Did you guys wanna try out the letters or nah?”

“Not really.”

“Yeah, we should.”

Kaito and Maki both gave each other wary looks… “Come on, Maki, we should do it in good faith.”

“It’s stupid. I don’t understand what she expects from it. We can talk to each other just fine.”

“That’s… not really true though. You know that’s not true.”

“Is there something you’ve been wanting to say?” Maki asked, her eyebrows narrowing in frustration, heat starting to bid, “If there is, why don’t you just say it?”

“Why do you do this? I literally say anything mildly confrontational or judgemental, and you already have fucking murder vibes going off! I thought we were past this!?”

“Past what!? You won’t just tell me what’s bothering you, instead you want to play the victim, oooooh, it’s too hard to just tell me what’s on your mind, since I might react to it--”

“Alright, well, Kokichi?” Shuichi said, getting up, “I’ll be in my study. Good luck with this.”

“Aw, handsome, wait…” Kaito pouted as he watched his very pregnant boyfriend waddle out of the room… before glaring at Maki, “See? Look what you did.”

“What I did-?”

Kokichi sighed, watching Shuuichi escape, the traitor, and got up himself, but just to their desk, pulling out writing supplies. Taking two small binders from the bookshelf, he divided the small paper stack in two, and placed a pen with each, before handing them out to Maki and Kaito. 

Giving them each a dry look, his body language was insistent. “Try it out for a little while. Just send each other funny pictures if you want. But trying out stuff like this is like trying a new food...if you just swallow it whole as quickly as possible, that’s not really trying it. Writing to each other might not be an effective way for you guys to communicate, but you don’t know that unless you try it out.”

“...like I said before, I’ll be willing to run letters back and forth, though, that’s pretty easy for me if you’re in the same room,” he smirked.

Kaito and Maki glared at each other… before Kaito sighed. “Who’s going first?”

“Why does anyone need to go ‘first’?” Maki asked, already writing in her paper. “Just write your stupid letter, let’s get this over with.”

“Gee, great attitude to go into this with, Maki-roll.” Kaito grumbled, looking in frustration at his paper, not as quick to write as her, though eventually he started.

Maki and Kaito were, at the least, on opposite sides of the room. Kaito had been sitting at the window seat, watching the view, and Maki had been sitting on the bed with Shuichi before he had left. There was some quiet scribbling for a moment, before Maki finished first, passing it on to Kokichi. 

Kaito got the letter before he finished his, and gave it a confused look for a second… “Is this meant to be a middle finger?”

Maki smirked. 

“Wow, I forgot how much you cannot draw.” Kaito finally settled on, bundling up the letter and tossing it on the floor, “I was actually writing some real stuff I wanted to talk about, like you keep saying, but if that’s how you want to do it…”

Maki rolled her eyes, “I’m just teasing Kaito, don’t be overly sensitive.”

Dutiful as he meant to be, Kokichi delivered Maki’s letter without looking at it, though Kaito made it very clear what the contents were. He did say they could just draw pictures--it wasn’t trying out the communication method, but this would probably give Dr. Mariah an idea about something anyway. Hopefully another suggestion that would fare better. 

Snickering a bit, Kokichi collected Maki’s letter from the floor and started smoothing it out. “I’m going to try to not interfere much, because this is supposed to be about your two communicating with just each other...but I’m absolutely keeping the drawings if you’re just gonna throw them on the ground. It’s been a while since I added stuff to the wall,” he laughed, nodding to the vast collection of letters and drawings already up around their room.

“‘Kichi! Don’t add Maki cursing at me to the wall!”

“Why shouldn’t he? It’s my art Kaito.”

“Maki, I don’t want to try to talk to you if you won’t take me seriously.”

“Then be someone who wants to be treated seriously.”

Kaito opened his mouth, closed it… “Ugh. You’re so fucking…”

“Put it in the letter, Kaito.” Maki said dismissively. 

Maki,

I don’t know what you want from me. Like, honestly, what the fuck else can I do by this point? I feel like you’re always mad at me, and frankly, I feel like I have way more reasons to be mad at you at this point, and maybe I’m thinking about it the wrong way, because maybe it’s not something we take turns being, but… I don’t know! I feel stuck! I feel like it’s always up to me to be the one that lets everything go, and you won’t even acknowledge that anything happened at all, without going out of your way to make me feel like a piece of shit about it! And even writing this now, I feel like I’m being the asshole, and I don’t want to feel like the asshole, because sometimes I’m not the one being an asshole!

Maki opened the letter, and immediately scoffed. “What, that’s meant to be a better drawing?”

“At least I added details!”

“I’m adding it~” Getting most of the wrinkles out, Kokichi got a small piece of tape from the desk and stood on the desk chair, nestling the drawing between a few old letters. Still on display, but...something your could glaze over easily, which might delay having to explain to Miya what a middle finger was...if she could even recognize what the drawing was. Or if she somehow didn’t see it out and about in the world first. 

Delivering Kaito’s letter to Maki, Kokichi was...kind of tempted to get a piece of paper and try his own hand at drawing the notorious bird. But he also knew the more rudimentary style was what made it charming and...well, he’d had instruction for art. It wouldn’t be the same. 

...and he didn’t want to distract Maki and Kaito. It was so often the position he placed himself in, but...he had to stop trying to smooth things over all the time. Sometimes conflict needed to be jagged and messy to be resolved, and him perpetually trying to soften it just...wasn’t helpful. 

Maybe this was an exercise for him too, being present, but not prying into things.

Maki read the letter and after a moment said tensely, “Why is it my fault that you want to solve every personal problem you have by rolling over and-”

“Fucking god…” Kaito grit his teeth, growling into his hand as he reminded himself he did not want to yell in front of his husband, before saying, “Just put it in the letter, Maki.”

Maki huffed, before starting to write.

It’s not my fault that you try to problem solve everything by either hiding or taking all blame for everything. I never asked you to do that. Literally the first thing I did when I got home was beg you for forgiveness, I really don’t understand what else I have to say to show you that I thought I had done something worth asking forgiveness for. Did it feel insincere!? I literally gave you the chance to kill me.

Kaito got the letter, and sighed, rubbing at his temple… great… now he was on the other side of this particular argument… fuck…

I feel like… that what you apologized for and what I’m pissed about aren’t the same thing. I’m hurt, Maki… you know what this is like!? This is like the fucking fight that broke us up! You did something shitty, and I was the one left feeling bad and shitty about it, and you wouldn’t acknowledge at all that you were any factor at all in me feeling that way! And then when I pushed it, you gave up on us! Of course I’m gonna figure out that taking the blame is the only way to fix these things, everyone always calls my bluff whenever I try to defend myself, and then everyone leaves or-

Kaito paused, realizing he wasn’t sure where the hell he was going with that. That… didn’t seem right. It was how he felt, like, emotionally, anger wise, but seeing those feelings written down… that wasn’t what he meant…

“....ngh. That’s not right…” Kaito mumbled, tapping his pen against his temple.

“What’d you write?” Maki asked.

 “I might restart.”

Maki rolled her eyes, “Just let me see it. I don’t want you censoring yourself and then blaming me for the fact that you pussied out of saying what you felt.”

Kaito glared at her, before sighing, “Here, sure.”

Kokichi looked between his friends tensely. He could feel it, just on the tip of the tongue, the temptation to remind them about the break rules, and how even if you said something in anger, to try again in a moment to say something that better fit what you actually meant, but…

...he wasn’t their therapist, and he needed to stop playing at one. Or, if he did, then actually learn more about therapy to not wade in blindly. If they needed to fight...then he couldn’t keep delaying it. He could only offer his advice if they asked for it. 

Patting Kaito’s hand gently as he received his letter, Kokichi delivered it to Maki. 

Maki read the letter, her face cool and calm… “You didn’t finish it.”

“I told you, I was gonna restart it.”

“Why?”

“Cause… I don’t know, cause that’s not true? People don’t leave me, I leave them, and it’s weird to suggest there was some sort of pattern…”

Maki blew out her cheek a little, her brow pinching slightly.

We broke up because the class difference was too much, Kaito. I realized it was too much with that argument. And I didn’t want our friendship to die pursuing a relationship that wasn’t going to work. It was too late for us. I didn’t ‘break up with you’, we discussed that and came to that conclusion together. Or was that just you agreeing with me because you were too chickenshit to tell me how you feel?

“Aw, geez…” Kaito murmured, reading the letter.

No, no, see, that’s another reason I realized that wasn’t what I really meant. I’m just fucking… hurt and lashing out. You didn’t just leave, I know that, we talked it out and realized it was too hard and despite the odds we stayed friends, but… I still get sad thinking about it, sometimes. I spent so much of my life fucking in love with you and our first real chance to do it, and you had to go ahead and suggest that you were obligated? To be with me?? Maki that crushed me. I felt like such a slimy, evil fucking bastard… and I didn’t understand what I had done to deserve that. It really felt like it came out of nowhere. 

Maki sighed. 

I feel like we’re doing this wrong, for the record. I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to be talking about recent problems, not ancient ones. But fine. Yes, it felt like an obligation. But you have to understand, Kaito, everything felt like an obligation. Believe it or not, how I felt wasn’t all about you. We were in our final year of high school, I was about to be nothing but my career, high school was my last chance to pretend like there was anything normal about me. I was angry and resentful that my last illusion of choice and independence was disappearing in a few months with school ending, and at the same time you were trying to to do the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing, around all the time, giving me a bunch of unsolicited advice, trying to take care of me. You couldn’t relate to my problems, I sure as hell couldn’t relate to yours, and I felt like you trying to ‘make’ me happy was just another aspect of my life I was losing control over. And, even writing this right now, I know that’s not entirely fair. I appreciated those things as a friend, and maybe at a different point in my life, I would have appreciated it as a boyfriend… but right then? It was too much, Kaito. I felt trapped and obligated, and when I told you, you were hurt and outraged, and I knew I couldn’t micromanage your feelings while still trying to deal with mine. So I wanted to end it, and I don’t regret that. Maybe all of that is cold, but it’s also the truth.

Kaito read all of that…

He started to try to write and faltered, really not sure… what to say…

Maki watched him for a moment before huffing, “Before you get all in your head, I’m not asking for an apology. You don’t have anything to feel guilty about. You don’t have to have done anything wrong for it to just not be working for me, Kaito. It’s not a matter of ‘fault’.”

Yeah. I mean, I know its not a fault thing, but I still feel like I should apologize… maybe I didn’t do anything wrong, but you were still hurt enough to want to leave me…

Maki, it not being ‘about me’ doesn’t make you planning to kill my family any easier to cope with. It doesn’t make knowing Kokichi and Shuichi knew any easier to cope with. I feel like you did this big, awful thing to me, turned literally everyone in our lives against me, and because everyone hates my family, I just had to ‘let it go’. Sometimes I want to scream at you guys. Sometimes I want to scream at everyone. Sometimes I’m so angry that I just want to run and hide from all of you forever… and I feel like you did that to me. You put this ugly, destructive anger in me…

But I also know that’s not entirely right. And when I stop to think about it, you… I mean, it’s not your fault my family is torn apart. We basically did it to ourselves. And knowing that doesn’t make it any easier, but its still objectively true. I guess I just… you… I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to believe… nothing I write doesn’t feel selfish. Maybe it just is selfish. My family has done way more to hurt you than you ever did to hurt us. And that’s even including getting Byakuya banished. 

Did you want me to apologize to you, Maki? For what my family did?

Maki huffed, reading the very long letter.

No, you idiot. You’re not responsible for what they did, and you never made any of it worse. Knowing you were getting caught up in the middle of this was the hardest part for me. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just couldn’t see a way around it. 

Kaito read the short letter and just nodded, “...yeah…”

(...anger...resentment...frustration… 

Difficult, but not explosive. Not dangerous.)

Don’t interfere.

(...sadness. Helplessness. A bit of resignation. Big feelings with nowhere to go. Sometimes...the world just wasn’t fair. And there wasn’t a way to make it fair.)

They had been reusing papers quite a bit, the back and forth not quite as elongated as his and Kaito’s had been--it made sense, Kaito and Maki together just didn’t have the patience for multi-page letters--but still the pile was beginning to dwindle as the jabs and reactions back and forth slowed and writing increased. 

Kokichi looked between his friends, trying to get a read on them, before gently murmuring, “...do you guys need more paper?”

Maki and Kaito gave each other quiet, tired looks.

“... nah.” Kaito sighed, looking out the window. “I’m good, Kokichi.”

“What else is there to say?” Maki agreed, too tired to keep going.

Both of them were notably resigned the rest of the day.

-

Kokichi was...antsy. This was going to be their last session for...who knew how long? There was no hard and fast guidebook for raising a child, and though they had all read up and asked for advice wherever they could, there was no telling how long it would be before all of them felt alright leaving Miya with someone else for an hour or two. 

...which Kokichi knew was kind of silly, because at the very least he trusted his dad to care for Miya, but...it still didn’t feel right… Maybe he just needed a few more sleepless nights on him. 

But...well, it wasn’t like Kokichi thought they were going to fall apart without being able to get help from Dr. Mariah, even with a major added stressor, but...especially with what happened yesterday? Kokichi hadn’t read the letters but...it seemed to get to the point where a therapist needed--or would be helpful--to step in. They had stated their feelings and thoughts, acknowledged each other’s too, and...just didn’t know where to go from there. 

...and because he was him, Kokichi just...couldn’t shake the feeling that that was just...going to happen more and more, and they wouldn’t be able to get help as easily. Even as it was, Kokichi was nervous to see if Kaito and Maki would even really bring it up, or if any advice Dr. Mariah had to give would help. 

Maybe today was just an anxious day. That might explain his feelings too. 

“Good afternoon, Dr. Mariah,” Kokichi greeted with a nervous smile, giving the petite woman a wave before offering quiet help to Shuuichi for getting in his chair.

Shuichi took the help, looking more resigned and tired than ever. Shuichi was at the finish line, essentially, of his pregnancy, and while it still wasn’t quite as bad as it had been a few months ago when he had felt like he’d want to spend this entire month in bed, it was clearly taking a toll on him. He had been heavy for… well, essentially seven months now. And the weight had only gotten more intense the last four months and…

...he was tired. He couldn’t remember what ‘normal’ felt like. Which helped the dysphoria feeling a little, but still. 

He wasn’t in the nest chair for longer than a moment before he started blinking sleepily. “Thanks Kokichi.”

“Good afternoon, Kokichi. Good afternoon, everyone.” Dr. Mariah said, smoothing out her dress, her legs dangling in in her chair as she looked around at everyone, “As this is the last session for the immediate future, let’s all try to make the most of today, yes? Questions you’ve kept to yourself, concerns you’ve had, perhaps some fears for the future? Todays the day to share, understand? First of all, how’s everyone feeling?”

“Fine.” Shuichi murmured sleepily.

“Fine.” Maki said, crossing her legs into her chair.

“Uh…” Kaito grinned sheepishly, “...good?”

“Nervous,” Kokichi murmured, his voice soft but not apologetic. Dr. Mariah was right, and while holding back wasn’t helpful in a regular session, it was even worse for this one because...where you’d get another chance to speak your mind with a mediator in a week or so, now the future was a huge unknown. 

Again, Kokichi didn’t think that any of them were about to explode and that the rest of them were so unequipped that it’d be a huge disaster--!

...but their safety net being taken away was still daunting. 

“I know the point of all this is so we can solve our problems ourselves, either directly or by heeding advice to go look elsewhere,” Kokichi started to explain, “...but I don’t feel like I’m at that point yet. And while I’m over the moon to meet Miya, I know a baby’s gonna be a lot of stress and...I’m just nervous about…”

Kokichi’s face scrunched to the side, not really sure what outcome he was frightened by. “...how we’d all react if something big happened? I think? But...given my uncertainty...I think I might just be anxious because of anxiety.”

“Being able to recognize when your feelings are chemical is an admirable and useful form of self-awareness.” Dr. Mariah nodded, before saying sternly, “But, in this moment? You might be underselling your own concerns. There is a lot of pressure in your immediate future, and a lot of the coping mechanisms you four have that are going to be trickier to utilize… or at least will feel trickier, while you four get used to the new responsibility in your lives. It’s an understandable situation to feel anxiety about.”

“We’ll be fine.” Maki said simply, “I’ll be there to help, and she has three fathers on top of that, plus-”

“You’re still overestimating yourself, Maki.” Dr. Mariah interrupted her gently, “I understand your desire to say that there won’t be a problem because you are there. It’s admirable, to want to take problems onto your own back for the sake of others, but you have problems outside of theirs that also need to be kept an eye on. You can’t promise all of yourself to them when you have a child yourself who’s already got one parent whose attention is about to be divided, not to mention that large gaggle of children I’ve heard you’ve claimed responsibility for. The child refugee group?”

“I mean, they’re not… technically refugees.” Kaito murmured, though what point he was trying to make was beyond him. “But we will be okay… won’t we?”

“Yes.” Dr. Mariah said, without any doubt, “But knowing you can succeed at something doesn’t mean it’s wrong to acknowledge how difficult it is. And if there’s one thing I will get into all of your heads if its the last thing I do, is that it’s okay to admit things are hard, even in comparison to others who are going through similar things. Your life situation is unique… and still absurd.”

“Mm.” Shuichi hummed, it sounding vaguely like an agreement.

Dr. Mariah paused, tapping at her knee… “We’re going to do some thought exercises today. But first, homework. How’d everyone fare since our last session? Kokichi, Shuichi? Your homework was related to each other, if I remember correct.”

Kokichi nodded slowly. It was going to be difficult, no matter how much help they had, and no matter how excited and determined they were. And...feelings didn’t cancel each other out. He might be feeling more anxious because that was what he was prone to, but the spur for that feeling was very present. It was natural to feel, but as long as he managed his nerves, he could just...feel it. 

And it wasn’t just up to any one of them. They all had each other to rely on, and others too, and it was because of that bond, and everyone’s efforts involved with it, that they’d be alright. Even if it was stressful and hard. 

...yeah. 

Letting out a little breath as he processed all that, Kokichi perked up as Dr. Mariah addressed him, lighting up as he did have some good news to share. “Oh, yeah! Actually, Kai-chan helped Shuu-chan out too,” he nodded to Kaito. “A friend of his recommended a therapist for Shuu-chan, and we did a meeting appointment and decided on a system for Dr. Ford to stop by on a predetermined day and see if Shuu-chan’s up for a session while he’s in recovery.”

“...Dr. Ford?” Dr. Mariah said, looking genuinely surprised, her eyes glancing to Kaito on instinct. “Oh? ...He’s well respected in the community, and I have heard he’s been doing some remarkable work this last year. His techniques are still in their infancy stage, of course, but they’ve been heavily regulated and watched over, due to the nature of… well, that entire situation. And the results have been largely positive so far… from an outsider perspective? It’s a good choice.”

“...good, and yet still entirely, absurdly difficult for you all.” Dr. Mariah sighed, looking between Shuichi and Kaito, “Nothing is ever easy for you all. Any concerns about this new development?”

“... no? But I say this knowing I should say yes.” Shuichi sighed, adjusting his cap on his head, “Honestly, I might not be terribly useful this session. But I’m so generally worn down these days that I don’t feel much of anything about anything. I know this might partially be my depression talking, but… honestly, I’m pretty content to just let everyone else handle any problems that come up.”

“I see…” Dr. Mariah considered that, but decided to come back to it, “Kaito?”

“I think it's a good thing!” Kaito immediately said, maybe a tad loudly, but that was less due to insincerity and more just fear of being perceived as such, “No, really! Everything that happened… was in no way Dr. Ford’s fault! And… I’m glad that he’s practicing again, and that he’s helping people, and I think there’s something… great! Honestly? In that… well, I guess the terrible thing that happened to him, and, uh, me a little bit, kinda led to Shuichi having someone who can help him and… that’s all great!”

“Hmmmm.” Dr. Mariah also felt there were issues there, but… it wasn’t a crisis. They could get back to that too. “I want to remind you that it’s okay to acknowledge even a good situation is difficult… but we’ll move on for now. Did you all end up doing letters? How did that go?”

Maki and Kaito glanced at each other.

“...I mean… it wasn’t bad.”

“It was just a long fight.” Maki said, sighing, “And we ended up just talking about a bunch of old problems, more than anything.”

“Old problems?”

“We ended up talking about the reason we broke up in high school…” Kaito gave Dr. Mariah a dry look, “Could you not?”

“Could I not what?” Dr. Mariah asked, looking smug, before coughing, her face going neutral again, “You were saying?”

Maybe it was him trying to distance himself from issues again, but...Kokichi really felt like the situation with Dr. Ford wasn’t something he should talk first about. So...he had kind of brushed past it, while opening up the subject. 

He trusted Dr. Ford to be professional, and while he had his own...pain and concern regarding Kaito, he hadn’t asked Shuuichi--who would be his patient--about it, and had even waited until his future patient was out of the room to ask a...sort of third party. And considering what happened, Kokichi couldn’t see any of that being an issue. It could be difficult when Ford came by the castle, and maybe he and Kaito would end up running into each other, but...it was the same as going into town and possibly seeing each other. Always a chance. 

It just kinda...sucked, but Kokichi was more hopeful that Shuuichi would be able to talk to someone about all the things that Kokichi and Kaito and even Maki just...couldn’t help him with. 

The letters too, were conflicting. 

Kokichi chewed on the inside of his lip a bit before giving a tentative look to both Kaito and Maki. “...you guys at first gave reactions and stuff when I passed the paper, but by the end you were really just...heads-down writing. And after you stopped...you guys both seemed really down.”

“We just… god, sometimes it feels like Maki and I just keep going in circles. And... honestly, I don’t even know what we were trying to achieve by the end there.” Kaito sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling his muscles tense up and ache. “I know why we’re doing this. I know Maki and I’s relationship is worth this trouble. But sometimes I don’t even know what normal looks like for us.”

“Hmmm… so you feel like you have a motivation, but aren’t sure if you have a goal?” Dr. Mariah asked.

“The goal is to stop fighting.” Maki said, crossing her arms, “Isn’t it?”

“But we did stop fighting, and like Kokichi said, it just left both of us fucking sad all day.” Kaito grumbled, leaning his elbows against his knees. “That can’t be what we’re aiming for… right?”

“...” Dr. Mariah sighed. 

In truth? She wished she just had more time with them. She really did believe they’d all be fine, she wasn’t vital to their relationship working out, but… life was already incredibly difficult, on these four. And without someone willing to call them out on the mentality? They all kept falling into the habit of trying to martyr themselves. Sacrificing their comfort, safety, or well being, mental or otherwise, for each other, for the problem, sometimes it seemed like for no reason at all even. Just doing it because it was all they knew how to do.

Still… it was only temporary. And they’d probably feel like the time went by in an instant, by the time they were back, considering how busy they’d be. It was going to be okay… but what to focus on… what could she do to leave them as well equipped as she could?

“One thing at a time.” She said aloud, “There’s an exercise we have not done properly since our new arrival. Maki, Kaito, we established why these sessions matter to you two. But your relationship and its tensions don’t only effect you, in this situation. So.. Shuichi, Kokichi?”

“Why is Maki worth this?” She asked, “Sell me on her.” 

Circles...Kokichi could see that, at least partially. Sometimes it was like they were playing tug-of-war with being angry at each other, though any inches gained were...a lot more distressing to the other side. But you couldn’t “win” at being angry, and...even settled in that feeling, it looked to Kokichi like they didn’t have anywhere to go from there. 

It seemed like that was the case from their perspectives too. And bumming each other out wasn’t a satisfactory destination. 

...maybe looking outside the two of them would help. 

As her attention turned to them, Kokichi straightened up, feeling a frantic pressure to really distill his feelings into something that couldn’t just...be explained with a ‘because’. Chewing on his lip, Kokichi took a breath. “...well, like Shuu-chan and Kai-chan, but in more of a ‘friend’ way than a ‘romance’ add-on...Maki-chan makes me happy to be around. She’s an incredibly fun person to be around, and...sometimes when we talk...it feels important, without the stressful part of that I usually feel around important things.”

“She’s an incredibly dear friend of mine… I feel like I can tell Maki-chan anything, and...in a different way than how Kai-chan and Shuu-chan do...I feel like we have an understanding. Like...she gets me. And that relieving feeling of...understanding and solidarity...I don’t want to give that up. I feel like there would always be a part of me waiting for her, if I gave that up…”

Kokichi...wasn’t even sure if that was everything, but after a moment he nodded, signalling the end of his words. 

“Quite a bit there… but I think we can simplify that to the key terms of ‘understanding and solidarity’.” Dr. Mariah mused, glancing at Maki to read her reaction, the other woman seeming calm and neutral in the face of the declaration. “An ally. True ally’s are hard to find, and extremely difficult to navigate life without… it’s something worth holding onto. Shuichi?”

Shuichi sighed, shifting in his chair before giving Maki a tired look. “... there’s no alternative.”

Dr. Mariah waited for him to go on, and frowned when he seemed content with that. “...I’m sorry to say this, but… that might be a ‘negative’ sense of obligation, if that’s how-”

“There’s no alternative to the role Maki plays in my life.” Shuichi sighed, looking annoyed he had to elaborate. “Not to undercut the love I have of them, or the role they play in my life… but if Kaito and Kokichi left me? I could go on. I’d be sad for a long time, but I know I could be single again. If I had to be. And Kaito’s been a dear friend my whole life, he’s gotten me through and supported me through so much… but neither of them could replace Maki’s influence in my life. I don’t think anyone could. No one understands me like Maki does, my feelings and my choices… she doesn’t always respect them. Sometimes she’s a nightmare to have in your life. Her love can be oppressive and toxic and even cruel.” Shuichi said, narrowing his eyes at Maki, who stared back impassively, “...but she understands me, and I understand her. More than anyone… losing Maki would be like losing a very real connection to the world around me. I’d be… more alone. Without her. Unable to connect...”

Dr. Mariah frowned. Not… entirely healthy. But that was a theme, now, when it came to the Luminary trio. There was some real codependency threats there, between the three of them, but, well… considering two of them followed the third into a war-zone and an uncertain future, maybe a certain level of unhealthy co-dependence could be expected.

It wasn’t a crisis. But she’d keep an eye on that.

“I think… ‘connection’ is the key word there. So, a trusted ally to one, and an invaluable connection to a world outside of themselves to the other. Maki?”

Maki frowned, considering the both of them… “Shuichi’s easy. It’s not a sense of possession with him, it’s… largely what he said, honestly. He’s the person who understands me best. Losing him in life would… I guess the word is ‘isolate’ me. I’d lose the person in my life who I never feel alone or misunderstood around. There’s… no real alternative, to that sort of presence in your life. Losing him would hurt me in a way that I’m not sure I would recover, or be able to replace.”

“Aww.” Kaito said, looking weirdly touched, for being the guy the two had basically said was replaceable in their lives, looking between them with shimmering, happy eyes, “You guys…”

“And Kokichi…” Maki considered the small prince, “It’s actually really strange. I haven’t really known Kokichi that long, in comparison to literally anyone else in my life, and yet… almost immediately, he’s taken a huge place in my priorities. It matters to me what happens to him, which is strange. Logically, almost anyone else should matter more, but even when I was away, I felt myself thinking about him, considering his viewpoint and his feelings on things… ally is a decent word for it, but not quite right, for me. I appreciate that we bonded over similar beliefs, and he was there for me when Shuichi was pissed and Kaito couldn’t begin to understand, and I’m… extremely grateful for that, regardless of anything else.” She said, giving Kokichi a stern look, “But that’s not what led to my warm feelings…”

Maki considered Kokichi for a moment, “...I have no idea how, or why. But Kokichi very quickly slotted into my feelings towards my siblings. I want to watch out for him. His happiness and health matter to me.”

“He’s a brother to you?” Dr. Mariah asked.

That was a word with weight, for Maki. Siblings mattered to her, so she paused, really thinking about it before she said it… before nodding. “Yes. Kokichi feels like a brother.”

Kokichi could only let out a soft, amused huff at Shuuichi’s annoyed look. It wasn’t a statement of resignation, really, but Shuuichi had phrased it in a pretty terrible way and had no ground to be annoyed when someone who was learning about them and their dynamics took it that way. But Shuuichi was beyond tired and could be proudly contrary on a good day, so...annoyance it was. 

And...as much as it stung, Kokichi was well aware that there was no replacing Maki or Shuuichi to each other. Kokichi would be devastated if Shuuichi left him, but...he knew that that would be nothing to how Shuuichi would be left if Maki left for good. Even just her leaving for the revolution--and it was terrifying to think of that as a “just”--put a strain on Shuuichi that Kokichi had tried to help but...ultimately, he’d failed. Only able to put up a staunchly positive facade and try not to mention Maki more than necessary. 

And while Maki would react in her own way...he knew that Shuuichi cutting himself out of her life would do the same thing. 

...honestly...Kokichi had been expecting Maki to...not have much of an answer for him. He knew she did care about him, and he certainly wasn’t driving her away, but… He’d betrayed her trust. They’d only met that year, and while that was true for Kaito and Shuuichi too, even among them Maki was the last to really trust others, to put her hands in theirs. He wasn’t a lifelong friend so...he wasn’t…

Kokichi’s wide amethyst eyes flicked up to Maki, astonished, before…

It was almost like a cloud of liquid, really, just erupting from Kokichi’s eyes, which had gone huge and shiny, before he quickly tried to cover his face, his huge, loving, touched grin still left open enough for the group to see as Kokichi quickly tried to pat his eyes. “M-maki-chan…”

“...but don’t tell Lake or Denji.” Maki said, glaring heatedly at Kokichi, “I swear if either of those weirdos try to claim me because I’ve claimed you, Kaito’s getting another earring. I don’t need that kind of headache in my life, I already have so many children siblings. Adding you to the batch at least gives me one other mildly responsible sibling to relate too.” She huffed. 

“Awwwwwww,” Kaito grinned, looking please as punch, as he said, “My Maki loves my ‘Kiiiiiichiiiii.”

“Shut up, Kaito.”

“You looooooove hiiiiiim.”

“Of course she does. She basically started thinking that about him the second month we were here.” Shuichi huffed, “Though I guarantee she didn’t notice that until literally just now, saying it aloud.”

“Look, connection or not, don’t pretend you can literally read my mind, Shuichi… it at least took the third month.”

“I’m absolutely not wrong, you didn’t try to kill him after he told Kaito about your plan. If that alone wasn’t a declaration of love, I don’t actually know what counts.”

Maki opened her mouth, closed it… before huffing. “I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the second month we were here, so your point is moot.”

“...was it? When did that happen? Fuck its been a long year.” Kaito muttered.

“I have to say… it’s never uninteresting, when you get involved.” Dr. Mariah said to Maki, before trying to summarize, “So… Shuichi and Maki view each other as irreplaceable connections to another person. Kokichi values an ally, and Maki values a sibling. And to reiterate, Maki feels a sense of possession over Kaito, and Kaito feels that same sense of possession, the two ‘earning’ each other. These are intense declarations, but, then, Miss Harukawa is an intense personality… I will be keeping an eye on some of these.” Dr. Mariah said, giving the Luminaries in particular a stern look, “We don’t want to harm each other with these feelings. But, for now? It’s not the priority. Just keep in the back of your minds that sometimes feelings these intense can be a double edged sword.”

“...I think I want to focus on a sense of ‘goals’ today.” Dr. Mariah decided, “And to discover what those goals can reasonably be, I want to try to do some scenario thought experiments with you all. It’s a little unlike anything we’ve done before this, so before we start, let’s take a moment. Drink some tea, stretch out, take a walk. Just relax for a moment. You have five minutes.”

Kokichi let out a wet-sounding giggle as he nodded, still trying to stem his tears. And...it just meant even more to him, because by naming his siblings specifically? ...they really were something like friends to Maki. Not quite people she could confide in, and not people she’d consider first for hanging out on a whim but...still people she could come to. 

It had meant the world when Maki had approved his claim of calling her his sister-in-law, after they sent the notice about Miya and Shuuichi’s role in their relationship out. But...for Maki to say that he was a sibling, and not just through their combined connection to Shuuichi? 

Maki went to the ends of the earth for her siblings, and they were the things she treasured most in the world. For Kokichi to be a part of that...especially when he thought he had set back their relationship several paces…

It was no wonder he was overcome. So it was a good thing Dr. Mariah was giving them a break. 

Still sniffling, Kokichi wiped his eyes again and again, trying to recenter himself and...marginally calming down after a moment.

Shuichi glanced at Kokichi and smiled slightly, happy to see Maki and Kokichi have a bonding moment. It was something he appreciated about Maki: usually, her love and loyalty was extremely hard to get, if you weren’t from the orphanage, and even then, that love and loyalty Maki had to her siblings was more a personal vow on her part, a sense of duty to those she considered Hers. But if you weren’t a sibling? Much more difficult… but Maki wouldn’t keep it to herself, when you had it. She didn’t keep it close to her chest. If she loved you? You knew. She didn’t leave you wondering.

Still, he looked to Kaito, who he could admit had maybe gotten the short straw of those declarations, wanting to reassure him that Kaito not ‘Being Maki’ and Shuichi knowing he could be single again didn’t mean Kaito was expendable to him… just that Shuichi didn’t need Kaito to fulfil a romantic role in his life. Honestly, Shuichi couldn’t really imagine a version of his life where Kaito wasn’t a factor, either as a friend or a lover or just…

Well, maybe Shuichi had been cruel. It was easy to be dismissive of ‘needing’ someone, when you knew for a fact that they were never going anywhere. “Hey, Kait--”

“Awww, did you miss me?” Kaito coo’d to the koi fish, eyes growing wide and excited as the Koi fish, at least it seemed to him, grouped closer to his fingers as he immediately used the break to go say hello, “Did you miss me? I think you missed me. You’re such good little things, look at you, how did you guys not get the name ‘angel fish’? So pretty, yes you are… huh? Sorry, what?” Kaito asked, looking up at Shuichi, “Handsome?”

Shuichi blinked at him… before laughing lightly, “Nothing Kaito. Just don’t forget to wash your hands, okay?”

If Kaito had felt slighted, he wasn’t showing it. Shuichi would bring it up later.

Maki looked over to Kokichi, and tsked slightly. “You’re so quick with you tears… was it really that surprising? Shuichi has a point… there were a lot of things, between us, that probably would have gotten a lot uglier if I had felt differently about you. You’re very adept at getting close to people quickly.”

Kokichi laughed softly, his sleeves getting a little soaked at this point though it seemed that his tears were finally beginning to stem. “Maybe not wholly surprising, but you know how quick I can be to doubt myself… And even then...how I thought you felt about me? ...I know how much you calling me a brother means, Maki-chan. To me, that’s more than enough to get choked up about.”

“And I think you’re one of the first people to say that about me,” he snorted, blinking away the last of his tears. “I know that you guys make a very compelling example, but still… Or, maybe it’s just something I’ve picked up in more recent years.” Despite having been at the height of his self-isolation, but...maybe that ‘despite’ was a ‘because’. In some ways, Kokichi had tried so hard to stick with his family because he was scared of being ‘alone’ again. It was a very compelling motivation to try and get along. 

“I’d say I’ll try not to embarrass you, but I think I do on a regular basis, and...that’s kind of a sibling’s duties anyway,” Kokichi laughed.

“... I suppose that’s one duty, of a sibling.” Maki said good-naturedly, though her look towards Kokichi was… ‘hard’ was the wrong word. It gave the wrong impression. Perhaps it was simply that stony certainty that Maki sometimes had about her. Another small moment where she felt entirely confident in… everything. That radiated off her sometimes as she said, “And I know you know what that word means to me. You’d be hopelessly stupid if you didn’t, by this point, and thankfully for Dicea you’re rather quick… so I won’t waste time making vows that come with that title anyway. Just be aware I’m sincere… and don’t disappoint me.” 

Her eyes narrowed at this, glancing at Shuichi and Kaito, as she said to him, “You have my dedication and the well being of two people I love over almost anyone in your hands… that’s not a light amount of responsibility, or ammunition, for that matter. You have more power to hurt me than most people on this planet, in a very real way. Don’t be careless. I expect better of you, Ouma.”

Kaito, who was listening in on this, sighed quietly to himself, petting the fish. A part of him wanted to jump in and defend Kokichi, a part of him was touched, and a part of him was offended, cause, like… look who’s talking. But… well, none of that was particularly helpful. He wouldn’t get in the way of their ‘moment’.

Kokichi’s face was blotchy and the area around his eyes was reddened and swollen, but if someone had looked at him for just that moment, they might not notice any of that for how heavy the solemn seriousness in his eyes were as he met Maki’s gaze. Kokichi was only human, and sometimes it all became too much for him. But he was someone who had shouldered the weight and responsibility of thousands of lives nearly his entire life, and he both knew how to carry that kind of expectation, and how not to underestimate it. 

“You have high expectations, but there’s no way I’d let myself rest without trying to reach them, Maki-chan,” he started, voice soft, but by no metric weak. “I can’t promise I’ll never hurt you--that’s the reason why we decided to come here. But that will never be my intent, and if I hurt you, it will never be through them. I refuse to use other people as tools against others, and more than never wanting to hurt you, all I want is to help you live your life happily and healthily through the way that works for you.”

“That is my vow as an Ouma, and my vow to you as family. If I cannot meet that expectation, then I will have wasted all my efforts in life.”

“Agreed.” Maki said, smiling slightly, “I’m holding you to it.”

Dr. Mariah sighed, “Didn’t I say this was a break? Honestly, you’re all very intense sometimes. Maki, take a walk.”

Maki looked briefly annoyed at this, before sighing and getting up. “Fine.”

“Hold on, Maki, I’ll come with you.” Kaito said, heading up and going to wash his hands.

“It’s not a big roof, just catch up.” Maki said over her shoulder, though her walk to the other side of the roof was slow.

“I can’t believe that sometimes I’m the ‘laid back’ member of this group.” Shuichi laughed, his eyes closed as he relaxed back into his seat, idly rocking his chair as he kicked off the roof, “Clearly the world is off-kilter if I’m one of the chilled out ones.”

“Ah, sorry.’ Like that, the intensity left Kokichi’s eyes and was replaced with bashfulness as he laughed softly and wiped his eyes again. Kokichi had a heavy weight on his shoulders, one that tensed his back into knots that Kaito had to massage out, but...he was an awkward, sensitive twenty-year-old, and while he was ready to be a dad, he still very much was a young person still finding his way. 

Not tall enough to rock himself while sitting like Shuuichi, Kokichi just nestled himself down among the cushions and got comfortable as he laughed softly. “I would say that it depends on the context...but, yeah. Looking overall, you are one of the most chill out of all of us. More absurdity, I guess.”

Because it was less that Shuuichi was a calm, even-keel person, and more that Kokichi, Kaito, and Maki were intense messes of explosive feelings so much that by comparison, even Shuuichi with all his neuroses seemed mellow. Maybe one day Kokichi would be a better contender for that. 

...or maybe not.

Kaito and Maki ended up chilling out on the other side of the roof together for a few minutes, whispering to each other as they looked down at the view from the rooftop. Kaito pointed down at something and laughed, and Maki smirked a little. The two not talking about anything, really, Kaito just literally pointing out hairstyles he liked and ones he didn’t. Just a small moment where nothing mattered and everything was fine.

...and then break was up. 

As they walked back, Maki said, “I noticed you dodged Kokichi’s question earlier.”

“Hm?” Kaito asked, genuinely confused, “What question?”

“What we talked about in our letters.”

“I told them. Our old relationship.”

“You breezed past the details.”

“... does it really matter, anymore?”

“I don’t know.” Maki said softly, “That’s why I wondered why you dodged it.”

They didn’t have time to talk about it any further though, getting back to their chairs. Kaito giving Maki an uncertain glance, before just sighing, settling into his chair. He hadn’t felt like he had dodged the question for any particular reason, but, well… if he had or hadn’t, it had bothered her enough to ask him about it. And by that point, the original intention behind the message didn’t matter: it had raised new questions. Ones he didn’t have good answers for.

… his relationship with Maki was hard. And complicated. For a thousand different reasons. Maybe it just always would be. God knows it was On Brand for them. Had it ever been easy? Heh. Eh…

“Alright, everyone have refreshments? No one needs to use the bathroom? Shuichi, are you awake?”

“Mmmm.” Shuichi hummed non-committedly.

“I know you’re tired, but at the risk of actually dozing off in the next few moments, could you open your eyes?”

“Spoil sport.” Shuichi murmured, though he did force his eyes open, blinking sleepily at Dr. Mariah, “...we’re doing scenarios?”

“Thought experiments, yes.” Dr. Mariah agreed.

“What does that mean?” Maki asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Kokichi has expressed a concern for how you’ll handle crisis in the future. And Kaito has expressed confusion of what conclusions he should really even expect for handling crisis. Expectations and goals. We’ve already talked a little bit about what we each expect to contribute to this relationship, but it’s actually a rather heavy topic that deserves returning too. So we’re going to explore it with hypothetical scenarios, and how you would problem solve it.”

Kokichi gave his sleepy boyfriend a fond look. The walk home was going to be a pain today, but it was going to be the last one Shuuichi would have to do while pregnant. Honestly Kokichi wouldn’t be surprised if Shuuichi didn’t move from the third floor much at all in the upcoming two weeks, just going between their room and his study. It’d be easy enough to bring meals up to him. 

But one thing at a time. 

Nodding slowly as Dr. Mariah explained the reasoning behind trying something like this at all, Kokichi chewed on his lip a bit. He often went through his own thought experiments, but usually as a result of anxiety. Going through something as a group and trying to problem solve together was...probably going to give better results than just endlessly stressing him out.

“Alright… What sort of scenario should we start with, then?”

“...let’s start with something both likely and simple, focusing on you three.” Dr. Mariah decided, indicating to the men of the group.

“It’s two months from now. It’s two in the morning, and Miyako has started to cry. You have worked out a ‘turns’ order by this point, but all of you are sleep deprived to the point where you might as well be perpetually drunk by this point-- so that you all are more emotionally prepared, you should know that true sleep deprivation, symptom wise, is almost indecipherable from being early into a binge drinking session. If you feel that both yourself and your partners are starting to act irrationally? It’s because you are and you need help at that point.--”

That warning given, she continued, “So all three of you are, in essence, a ‘little’ drunk, the baby is crying, you have a turn order… but none of you can quite remember whose turn it is. You’re all just, individually, certain it's not yours. How do you resolve the conflict? Keep in mind, Miyako’s not waiting patiently on any of you, and is perfectly content to scream at the top of her lungs until you get it sorted.”

“...” Kaito frowned, “I mean, if none of us? Can remember whose turn it is--”

“Incorrect. You are all certain you remember whose turn it is. You all just cannot agree on the answer.”

“... I mean, I’d just do it.” Kaito frowned. “We can restart on me, when we can’t agree.”

Hoo, likely was correct. Kokichi had heard stories from others about kids who were pretty quiet--and didn’t have circumstances like his own--but even then you had to expect that at least a few times a baby would have an emergency in the middle of the night. They were far too little to establish a regular, uninterrupted sleeping rhythm--and, in fact, most of their time would be spent sleeping, only waking (mostly) for those emergencies--and would have to be fed so frequently that it was inevitable. 

So...down the line, it was to the point they were all running well past empty, and convinced it was someone else’s turn…

Kokichi frowned a little at Kaito. “...I kinda see it happening like...I don’t notice either of you getting up right away, so I’d get up to help her, but if you did too...then you might tell me to go back to sleep, and we’d whisper back and forth a bit while soothing or feeding or changing or whatever Miya needs together and we’d go back to bed and you’d tell me you’ll get her next, even though we’ve both been awake. And...if Shuu-chan even stayed awake through all of that, he’d probably sigh internally noticing us both getting up, and grumble to himself about how it was obviously so-and-so’s turn and we really didn’t need to make it so complicated, we have the system in place for a reason.”

“Mmmmm,” Shuichi laughed lightly, “That sounds about right.”

Kaito rubbed the back of his neck, an uncertain look crossing his face, clearly something he wanted to say but… “Yeah, I guess that sounds right…”

Dr. Mariah looked between them. “I bet that is how it would go… the first time. When you are all at your best and most rational.”

“But it's happened too many times. And your days have all gone poorly. And there’s an entirely separate fight that has already made things tense.” Dr. Mariah said dryly, tapping her finger against her knee, a rhythmic, tap, tap, tap, “You’re not at your best. You’re not feeling patient. What’s this situation are your worst? What does failing look like?”

Kaito’s brow furrowed, still scratching the back of his neck a little, “...I mean, I guess I’d get… angry or something?”

“Someone ends up crying.” Shuichi sighed, “It’s a tossup whether it’s Kokichi or Kaito. But someone ends up crying.”

“Not actually a worse case scenario.” Dr. Mariah was quick to point out, “Crying is a reasonable reaction to stress, so long as it doesn’t become a self-destructive delay tactic. Crying should be used as a way to relieve stress. It’s only a bad thing if it becomes a way to avoid having to deal with the problem.”

...they’re all at their worst, huh? There were...maybe a few things Kokichi could...he didn’t want to say he could see them happening. But asking for the worst case scenario was...kind of the opposite of one of the exercises Kokichi did in his personal therapy. Explaining exactly what you were afraid of in a situation. The thing that caused you stress and anxiety, the number one thing you wanted to avoid, so you overcorrected, or became frozen and unable to act at all. 

Kokichi’s worst fear wasn’t Kaito getting pissed, or them getting in an argument that left someone in tears. 

Looking incredibly ashamed and uncomfortable, Kokichi spoke up quietly. “...that I’ll give up trying. And just expect Kai-chan to take care of her.”

Dr. Mariah gave Kokichi a mildly approving look. Good. That was what she was looking for. Especially considering the look (and taste) of Kaito right now, that opened up a conversation of expectations. One that she didn’t need to push at herself, as Kaito’s brow furrowed, clearly struggling with himself for a moment…

“...Okay, I mean… but that’s not ‘giving up’. It makes sense for me to do it.” Kaito argued, looking to the other two, “Like… logically. If it’s about who’s getting sleep that night? Even if it sucks and I’m practically dead myself and me and Miyako are chilling in the tub together because I’m having some sort of meltdown… in a worse case scenario? Me dealing with it is our best case scenario. You both… two months from now?”

“... Shuichi’s going to be going back to school at some point. To get back to his career. Kokichi, I know you promised to put us first, or, at least alongside with Dicea, and I appreciate that, but I also promised to not make it a hard choice if I could help it. You’re going to be knee deep in leadership stuff. Out of the three of us? The only thing I’m doing is taking care of kids, basically. I don’t have any other responsibilities. If someone’s getting hit hardest on the baby front? Shouldn’t it?? Be me??” Kaito argued. “Like… that makes sense to me.”

Kokichi hunched his shoulders in, but...he listened to Kaito’s point. Because he did have one. Kaito wasn’t going to school and wasn’t employed, and he wasn’t a part of any clubs or groups that expected responsibility. Kaito’s job was taking care of their family. If they were all put in a tight spot...it did make sense for Kaito to step up. 

...but that was a defined expectation. And waking up in the middle of the night, having no clue what was going on...was random and undefined. 

Take a breath. Say exactly what it is you mean, don’t talk around it. 

Kokichi took a deep breath before speaking, his voice more even, though there was still that ashamed tinge to it. “...I’m worried about the slippery slopes. This scenario is hinged on, essentially, an accident, and one that none of us would have the energy or time to fix in the moment. That means it’s undefined. So...it could easily become other scenarios of expecting Kai-chan to be the person to take care of Miya, even when it’s not an accident. A choice for what is personally convenient when pushed.”

Balling his hands in his shorts, Kokichi frowned at the ground. “...we’re all her parents. Through circumstances, that doesn’t mean that, in terms of time, we’re all going to be able to care for her exactly equally...but parenting is what a parent does and...it doesn’t seem right to me to just...blanket expect Kai-chan to pick up any slack. You may not be employed, but you still do have other responsibilities, and...you also have a life.”

Shyly looking up at his partners, Kokichi let go of his shorts but worried his hands against each other. “...I think if Kai-chan’s gonna step in for stuff...we should try to define it better. Not just...expect things that we never discussed.”

Dr. Mariah smiled. It was nice when her patients got to the right answer without a bunch of pushing. She always felt like that was a good sign that the pillars they needed were already there.

“That’s likely going to be a long conversation for you three specifically.” Dr. Mariah said, giving Kaito, Shuichi and Kokichi an encouraging look, “But it's better to recognize now, before everything begins, that it’s a conversation you all need to sit down and have. To not only discuss worst case scenarios, but to see what those scenarios actually look like to all three of you, individually. Which shows more clearly what you all expect out of the group and yourselves. I think you’ll be surprised at how often your ideas of ‘failing’ don’t match up. You all have already given yourselves goals and expectations for the future… but that’s not something you can just keep to yourselves and expect everyone else to adjust to when the time comes up to test those expectations. The more on the same page you all are? The easier resolving problems will be. Preferably before they become a crisis.”

So… Kokichi, your worst case scenario, or, mmm, ‘failing’ scenario?” Shuichi said, glancing at Dr. Mariah for confirmation, who nodded, “Is that you’ll get to the point where you stop offering to help, even when you can?”

Talking to each other--really talking, not just saying words--was the answer to most interpersonal problems. When you started to keep things to yourself, playing guessing games and expecting people to know things you haven’t said...that’s when it started to spiral. Kokichi knew that, but...sometimes it took some reminding about what conversations to have. 

Nodding gently, Kokichi sighed softly when Shuuichi addressed him. “...I don’t think I will. I want to be present in Miya’s life so much that I don’t think, when I’m not at my worst, I’ll let my responsibilities to her slip from me, or pass up opportunities to be with her. But that desire was partially born out of my fear of not being there, so...that fear is still there.”

“...we can make all sorts of plans about what we’ll do,” he sighed. “And I’m sure they’ll help a ton. But...we don’t really know how we’re gonna react until we’re in a situation. And the thought of just...pulling a pillow over my head while our daughter is screaming makes me sick to my stomach…” By the end Kokichi was close to whispering, the pallor in his face under the crying blotches from earlier really making him look like he was about to be sick. 

Shuichi sighed, adjusting his cap, “...I suppose I won’t like that much either, honestly. Though, I always sleep so hard since the medication… but I’ll admit, I’d probably have an easier time going back to sleep if I knew it was being handled… though, I’m not sure how much I like the ‘Gonna go cry in the tub’ mentality Kaito seems to be going into this with.” Shuichi’s lips thinned, taking a real look at his own ‘worst case scenario’, “... I think… look, I can see Kaito’s point. I highly doubt I’ll be back in school two months from now, but hard parenting stuff that exhausts us probably also doesn’t have a two month time limit, and I do want to go back to my career someday. I could see myself wanting to leave it in Kaito’s hands if I have a test the next day and I can’t bring myself to stay up all night, not if I have a choice. But Kaito’s answer of hiding a meltdown to let us sleep isn’t an answer either. I’d feel selfish. It’d be selfish.”

Kaito was giving Kokichi a concerned look. He didn’t like the paleness in his skin, around the red from where he had been crying earlier. 

...Kaito wondered where King Aiichi usually was, when Kokichi was an infant. Did his husband sleep in the kings room? Did he sleep in Ikou’s room? Was it an endless string of healers, taking shifts, baby ‘Kichi not recognizing the new face every time he woke up?

“Tsk.” Maki suddenly said, speaking up for the first time this scenario, “You all keep forgetting. You’re not the only set of eyes watching your behavior. You all can fail as many times as you can get away with, feel guilty privately about it all you want: it’s not going to stay quiet. All three of you always end up telling me about each other, when you’re upset, and you tattle on yourselves just as often. And when you fuck up? You can bet I’m calling you out on it. None of you get to be absentee parents, quietly neglecting Miyako. You’re going to be held accountable.”

Dr. Mariah smiled slightly, “There really is no keeping you out of the conversation. And, while I feel like you might be falling into the ‘I can be everywhere all the time’ mentality again, Maki, that does lead to a good point. I doubt you all will get this hashed out within our session, it’s simply a longer conversation than that, but don’t forget it’s not all on your shoulders. The three of you are not the only factors. Think of how you can utilize outside resources…”

There was a brief pause, and Kaito, realizing she was waiting for an actual example, said, “Uhhh… I mean...if Kokichi and Shuichi feel like they’d be neglecting Miyako because they’re leaving it to me to get up, even when its kinda wearing me down… would it help if I asked Ikou or Maki or someone the next morning to watch her for a few hours while I get some extra rest? Then it’s… at least less… I dunno, like, it’s an exchange and not just you guys leaving me to figure it out?” Kaito offered.

Shuuichi was an independent person, despite all the difficulties he had being a free person. But even with that nature, Kokichi knew that Shuuichi wasn’t going to just leave their daughter to be raised by Kokichi and Kaito. Shuuichi just...wasn’t going to have as many hangups about that as Kokichi, and would probably be more comfortable and willing to ask for help when he had other things going on in his life. 

...honestly, Kokichi would benefit taking from Shuuichi’s example more, if just for his stress levels. 

And that was the big point. They would ask for help. In the context of the scenario, Kokichi had fallen into the same habit of narrowing their world to their bedroom, but...that wasn’t the whole story. As time went on, people would keep them honest--not to mention Miyako herself when she was old enough to act on her greater desires--and people would be there to lend a hand. They weren’t alone, and it wasn’t just up to them to shape their behavior. 

Calmed down, Kokichi smiled slightly as Kaito offered up a solution to keep things from getting to that worst-case scenario. “...I think I’d feel better about that, yeah. I don’t think I’m quite comfortable enough asking anyone to watch her overnight, but...during the day, if we’re all starting to get worn down… I think it might be good for everyone if we ask someone to watch her for a bit so we can sleep. We can rely on each other a lot, but we have others to ask too…”

“Good. That feels like you all have a good starting point. Now, let’s try a new scenario… and just remember, these scenarios aren’t things you should expect to happen. They’re more just to get you used to asking and thinking through certain questions.”

“Scenario number two…” Dr. Mariah considered some hard ball questions, but, well, the last question had already proven to be difficult for them. Let’s go lighter. “Kokichi, while out on a walk, discovered an affectionate weasel, and fell in love with it. He has brought it home, bought it a cage, and Shuichi and Kaito have come home to~surprise! A new roommate. A loud, smelly, unexpected guest… what happens next?”

“Weasel gets its own room.” Kaito said, deadpan. “I try to forget it exists. End up somehow being the one buying it more furniture anyway.”

“My snake is not a loud, smelly weasel, Kaito.”

“Isn’t it?”

After that first scenario, there were any number of things Kokichi half-expected to come up. (Even if Dr. Mariah had just said that it wasn’t necessarily things they should expect from the future.) What would happen if Aiichi suddenly had to step down as leader, and Kokichi had to step up? What would happen if they had to take in one of Maki’s siblings? (...how to deal with Kokichi explaining there was more to the world than they thought?)

But what Dr. Mariah actually posed was...nothing like that, and Kokichi just blinked in surprise for a moment. Before he snickered. “Nini is anything but loud, and I’ve never noticed his terrarium getting smelly, Kai-chan. And the stuff for the terrarium was in part a birthday gift too.”

“...but…” he continued more seriously, raising an eyebrow a bit. “...even if I came across a stray needing help...well, that’s not a good example, because I’d probably take them to a vet clinic or a shelter… But if I saw a pet I wanted, I’d have a conversation with Kai-chan and Shuu-chan before just bringing it home. They’d be a part of the family, so they and we deserve a family conversation.”

Dr. Mariah nodded, “That last part is, ultimately, the point. It’s not would Kokichi do it. It’s that he’s done it. The scenario is, essentially, someone has made a decision for the family that’s going to affect the others day to day, not necessarily in a good way for most everyone involved, and decided to ask forgiveness rather than permission. To put that same scenario in a different light: Shuichi has agreed to a job offer that’s going to take him out of the home literally from sun-up, to sun-down, with no consistent daily schedule. Essentially, he is no longer able to reliably help with household chores, including anything to do with Miyako. He has made a decision that negatively affects everyone else, and he did so without discussing it with you first. It’s a negative, selfish surprise.”

“What happens next?”

Kokichi frowned softly. If it already happened, and it wasn’t about making the decision… It was different than reacting to something that had been out of their hands. “...I guess the first thing I’d do would be to...express that kinda no matter what the situation is, I wish that the rest of us would’ve been consulted first. But...if we had had that talk, that’s not to imply that the rest of us would’ve shut the idea down, you know? So...we start that talk in the now.”

“It’s already been decided to an extent, but...with most cases, there should still be an element of compromise that can go through,” Kokichi nodded, more to himself than anyone. “So...it’s talking through those compromises. Like Kai-chan asking for a new pet to have their own separate room. Or...well, I’d be kinda concerned if Shuu-chan was employed for a job that doesn’t even have an idea of a consistent schedule, or at least one that gives a week’s heads up, since...that’s pretty standard to get. But...I’d wanna talk about what he wants to do with the time he does have at home, and see what’s possible about normalizing his schedule.”

Kaito basically agreed with Kokichi, so he didn’t speak up, just nodding along. Shuichi, however, adjusted his cap a bit, a thoughtful look on his face…

“We’ve had this scenario already, actually.” Shuichi reminded them, glancing at Kokichi and Kaito, “And, in retrospect? I don’t know if we handled it well or not… Kaito randomly volunteered to go out to the mountains, remember? He did it without consulting us, he just came back and told us he was leaving, like, the next day, or something ridiculous like that… and he was planning to be gone for at least a month. With Maki gone, Timothy new in school, me pregnant…”

Kaito frowned, looking uncomfortable, “...I wasn’t trying to be selfish. I was… trying to do my… I still thought that there were certain expectations on me, as a prince-consort. I had a job-”

“Your job, even back then, was to prioritize us. Even as a prince-consort.” Shuichi frowned, something genuinely frustrated on his face, “You didn’t do that because you thought it was your job, you did that because you wanted to feel ‘important’ and you let that get to you. It was selfish, Kaito.”

Kokichi looked at Shuuichi in confusion--though he absolutely believed that it had been something they already did--and when Shuuichi explained his eyes widened for a moment before he nodded, another frown returning to his face. Right…

Kaito had been trying to do what he thought Kokichi wanted. Even though it was actually something none of them had wanted. If Kokichi had been thinking about it better, he probably would’ve been more insistent, instead of agreeing to the ‘this is the last thing’. At the time...at least at the start, he thought it had been something that Kaito wanted to do, and Kokichi thought it was admirable, and something he wanted to support if his husband had made the decision. 

They should’ve talked about it more candidly. 

Kokichi sighed. “...we didn’t go far enough, but we did compromise. Kai-chan going, but coming back on the first return trip. And he took Tim and Chase with him.” Kokichi’s mouth quirked to the side, the thought still sparking worry in him, even if it turned out alright. “...and it wasn’t something that we planned, but Kai-chan wanted to hurry back so much that he came back in the middle of a snowstorm.”

“...what?” Dr. Mariah asked, deadpan.

Maki frowned, “Wait, what?”

“Hey! Hey! You don’t get to judge me on that one, you rode a wild mountain horse between torn up legs by yourself!” Kaito sputtered, glaring at Maki, “We had, just, so many dogs, and-”

“It was crazy, Kaito. And you had your nine-year-old son with you! And your nine-year-old sons less than a year old puppy! We’re all lucky it wasn’t worse!” Shuichi insisted, this clearly an old wound that he hadn’t had a chance to air out in awhile.

Kaito started to worry his fingers a little, half defensive and half guilty. “...I mean, okay, so… this is literally the scenario, right? One of us did something shitty and then what?” Kaito finally asked, giving Dr. Mariah a worried look, “...well? I mean, I can’t… see what else I can do but continue to apologize.”

“Have you?” Dr. Mariah asked.

Kaito blinked, “...I… think so?”

Had he? He felt like he had apologized already, Shuichi hated this from the beginning, but… he couldn’t recall. 

Rubbing the back of his neck, he turned to the rest of them. “...I’m sorry I did all of that. Uh, that I… just decided to leave without talking to anyone, and took Timothy through a dangerous situation that… I didn’t, I guess, entirely understand, and… I do know better now. I won’t do that again…”

“You won’t do what again.” Shuichi said coldly, glaring at him, “I want to make certain you understand what you’re apologizing for. Cause that shit can’t happen again.”

Kaito huffed, again, looking both guilty and annoyed, “...I won’t volunteer to go on trips without asking permission first. I’ll talk to you guys first.”

...Kokichi honestly thought Maki knew about that one. He knew that she and Tim had been calling each other while he and Kaito were out in Genbu, but...did it really not make any of the stories once they came back home?

...whoops. Kokichi hadn’t really meant to inform her like this, with no real warning to Kaito but...well. At least it was the subject they had been talking about. That was some warning. 

As Kaito apologized for the trip, Kokichi gave him a gentle look before nodding, even if Kaito was annoyed with having to clarify. “Thank you. You mean so much to us, Kai-chan… We got lucky, but it’s terrifying knowing that someone you love is in danger. You know that.”

“And while we have help...we have a responsibility to each other, even outside of having a kid. Being in a relationship with someone, whether romantic, a friendship, or familial, means giving certain considerations to each other. We’ll make mistakes, but learning from the mistakes means talking to each other about things that are going to affect more than just yourself.”

“Yeah…” Kaito sighed.

Maki was still frowning, “...you went back through a snowstorm?”

“I…  basically told you that.” Kaito tried arguing, though he winced at the sudden heat coming off her, stammering out, “Okay, okay, I told you there was a lot of snow-”

“It was winter, yes.” Maki said tensely.

“And we were coming back early with a portion of the group with a bunch of snow-sled dogs, cause, like… that’s what you do! With a lot of snow!”

“A snowstorm?”

“Man, come on… Wild stallion! Through the mountains by yourself!”

“Nine year old and a puppy.”

“Nnnngh.” Kaito groaned, putting his head in his hands, “Is this the goal? I feel like…” he sighed in frustration.

Dr. Mariah raised a slight, delicate eyebrow at that. “You feel like what, Kaito?”

“I don’t really know.”

“Talk it out. This is the place and time to do it.”

“...okay, things… genuinely feel resolved between me, Kokichi and Shuichi. At least, from my end, I don’t know if Shuichi specifically feels resolved…”

“...I can’t say I’ll never call it a boneheaded move again, but so long as you never repeat it? And understand why I’m pissed in the first place?” Shuichi said, giving Kaito a cool look, “Then yes, it’s resolved on my end.”

“Right. Good! But, okay, so… I mean honestly, that doesn’t take all that much. It’s just a matter of talking it out, with Shuichi and Kokichi.” Kaito sighed, “But… Maki and I? It feels like when we argue, it just… escalates endlessly. At least lately. And I just...it didn’t used to feel like this. Like it was just building and building and building until we were too tired to argue anymore. Did it?”

He was asking Maki, who shrugged. “...no? But, also yes. Our arguments had ends before, but it’s not like this is the first time it’s taken awhile to get there. I remember a lot of arguments put off because someone went to hide in the temple instead of hashing it out with me.”

“Yeah, well, don’t think I didn’t notice how often you got to put off having our arguments when they just happened to spring up right before you were going on a mission… you can be really calculated with our fights, you know that?”

“What, do you think I waited until I had a mission lined up to start arguments with you?”

“It sure felt like it.”

“Lets,” Dr. Mariah interrupted, “Take a minute. Literally just one. I know this argument sounds tense, but I don’t think you’re both as caught up as you're performing.” 

At least… they didn’t taste as caught up as they sounded. Which was...strange.

Kokichi grimaced a bit as Maki got her turn to react to the snowstorm. She had all rights to, especially considering that Kaito had dragged their son through it too, but...still. Kokichi wished he could’ve brought the subject up a little more gracefully. 

...it had been so insanely dangerous… Kokichi had been over the moon to see Kaito back at home, but...if that group hadn’t made it…

...he didn’t want to think about it. 

Maki wasn’t the type to do the same. 

But Kokichi...wasn’t really sure if he ever knew how any big arguments between Maki and Kaito ended. He knew in part it was because they had settled it through spars, and they knew he wouldn’t want to--or be okay with--seeing that, but...was it really settled? Kokichi wanted to believe them that it was, but...now he wasn’t so sure.

He hadn’t been sure if there was anything he should interject originally, but with another break upon them, Kokichi just let out a sigh, finally reaching over to drink some tea. If nothing else, he needed to hydrate after the waterfall of tears he’d cried.

Shuichi stared at the Koi fish, while Maki stared at Kaito. Kaito, in turn, thumped the joints of his thumbs against his closed eyeballs, looking frustrated.

“...I want… spicy chicken wings.” Shuichi said suddenly, his tone wistful, as he continued, “...and mashed potatoes.”

Kaito groaned… and then laughed at himself a little, slightly taken aback by his own groan. “Kay,” he chuckled, looking up at Shuichi with an amused expression, “We’ll get you some on the way back, handsome.”

“Mmmmmm.” Shuichi hummed, contented.

Kokichi huffed a soft laugh. “I’ll keep away from peppers tonight, Kai-chan. You’ll still have one of us.” Even if spicy wings sounded pretty good. Not even Shuuichi’s cravings would drive him that far, but Kokichi had heard some gossip about a place in town with “Dragon’s Breath” wings, apparently a sort of dry rub, glaze, and sauce combination that impressed even chili heads. 

Mm. He wondered how horrified his friends would be when they saw that chili powder was a common topping for fruit vendor fruit. 

The minute came and went in about the time of that conversation, and Dr. Mariah closed her pocket watch, placing it back in the ribbon around her waistband. “Okay… so you feel like your arguments aren’t getting resolved? That they’re more getting pushed off?”

“I… think so, yeah.” Kaito sighed, looking over at Maki and hoping she might nod along, and being disappointed when she gave nothing away in her body language, “It’s… not enough to just talk it out and apologize. It… I mean, I can’t speak for Maki, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Try explaining more.” Dr. Marah encouraged, “I know emotions can sometimes feel slippery and unfathomable, especially the more we look into them, but I promise the confusion is a learning curve and nothing more. Introspection does, eventually, lead to clarity. Or at worse, leads to better, more useful questions.”

“...I mean… ugh, again, I can’t speak for Maki. Maybe she doesn’t feel like this at all and it’s literally just me… but…”

Kaito twisted at his joints, looking over at his friend, who again, seemed content to just let him keep talking without offering anything herself. “It’s like… we do all the things we’re supposed to. We talk it out, we find some conclusions, some common ground… and I still feel frustrated. Like, wanna ‘punch a wall’ frustrated. And it just gets worse the more we talk, even if the conversation is going better… like an endless, escalating loop. I feel crazy by the end of it, right up until I’m just… like, defeated.”

Dr. Mariah nodded along with this. Hmmmm… “Maki? Kaito keeps reminding us he doesn’t speak for you. What’s your side of this?”

Maki, idly, put her fingers through the side of her hair, trying to tuck it behind her ears as she considered the question… “It doesn’t feel resolved,” She admitted, “When we talk things out. There’s something missing. I’m certain we’re both trying when we talk, but our conversations feel more like we’re goading each other on and winding each other up than actually settling things. It becomes aggravating.”

“Are you winding each other up? You both seem certain the things you are actually saying are meant to help, but it sounds from an outside perspective like you might be upsetting each other off on purpose.”

“I’m not trying to I just get so angry-”

“I get a little mean sometimes but it’s not like it’s new-”

Kaito and Maki looked at each other, something clearly building between them… before Kaito sighed and Maki broke eye contact. “Yeah, that’s the thing, it’s not new.” Kaito said, putting his palms into his eyes, trying to rub the tension out of them, “We’ve been talking to each other like this our whole lives… it just hits different right now. Or maybe I just have less patience, or we have less time to process it, or… I don’t know.”

“Do you feel like you need time away from each other?” Dr. Mariah asked.

“...no.” Kaito said softly, looking troubled at that idea. “I don’t want that.”

“It’s a legitimate option,” Dr. Mariah said gently, “Distance can make it easier to collect your thoughts and behave well around each other. As I’ve said, breaks are important.”

“...I don’t want that either.” Maki huffed, looking annoyed, “Maybe it would work, but in every other respect? It’d be inconvenient. I don’t want our go-to solution to be ‘hiding’ from each other.”

“...” Dr. Mariah was missing something here. She was certain. Their taste was all wrong, it didn’t match their frustrations. For being entirely at odds, they tasted… basically in harmony, a back and forth that was natural, and in every other aspect should have indicated functioning communication. 

The word she had used before, ‘performance’, still felt apt, but she wasn’t sure why. 

“...I don’t want it to derail the session too much, but I think I could help you more if I saw you trying to talk out one of the subjects that leaves you arguing and frustrated. Perhaps I could spot where the miscommunication is happening.” Dr. Mariah said, looking between the two, “What’s one of the conversations you find yourself ‘looping’ on?”

Kokichi looked between his friends in worry. He knew they could really work stuff out, and he knew that right now there was stuff that kept building. It was kind of the reason why they were talking this out with a therapist but...Kokichi just couldn’t see any patterns as to why sometimes things worked and sometimes they didn’t. 

...did they really have to beat each other up to feel finished?

It felt...honestly a little scary to Kokichi but he knew his sensibilities were different. He knew that Kaito always wanted to do things to feel done with them, even if they weren’t really about him. Was this just that?

Hopefully Dr. Mariah would be able to see the situation more clearly than he could.

Kaito frowned. “...so, what? You just want us to start arguing?”

“Yes.” Dr. Mariah said.

“...About what?” Maki asked.

“Whatever you’ve been arguing about.” Dr. Mariah continued, now a touched amused. Normally she had to reel them in from their bickering, and now? It was like they were baffled at the idea of arguing at all. “What about what was in your letters? Kokichi said you both got very involved and quiet.”

“Like I said, that was just old relationship stuff. Like, five… six years ago now? Man, I can’t believe it’s been that much time already. Feels like yesterday.” Kaito sighed.

“Kaito got all melodramatic cause I suggested to a mutual friend that I was feeling stifled in the relationship.” Maki said dryly, “So we broke up.”

“That is NOT how that happened! You told her that you were only dating me because I was a prince and I asked you too, which was such bullshit-”

“That’s what she said, all I said was that sometimes it feels a little like that, and then you blew up about it-”

“You could have just told me you didn’t want to date me! But nooooo, you had to make me some kind of creep taking advantage of his social station with his best friend, that’s so fucked Maki! I was humiliated!”

Maki huffed, looking annoyed, “Is that what you’re complaining about now? You didn’t even like that person, Kadiya was the kind of bitch that would ask us to our faces all these demeaning little questions about how ‘two people like us’ could possibly make a relationship work. Who the fuck cares what she thinks? I hope she’s dead.”

“Yeah, I know that, but then we went ahead and proved her right! That still bothers me, because she was right and she shouldn’t have been!”

“We stayed friends, didn’t we? We couldn’t stay together out of spite, Kaito, that would have been shitty for us!”

“I don’t understand how you don’t understand that confirming what she said, verbally and physically, was humiliating! It shouldn’t have been Kadiya who split us up!”

“It wasn’t, she’s just the reason the conversation started! You can’t take everything that happened and act like it was some conspiracy against us, it was just something basically unrelated that led to us talking-”

Dr. Mariah watched all of this curiously. 

...this was, well… essentially entirely right. This should work. They were talking it out, and sure, they kept blowing up and interrupting each other, but neither of them actually seemed all that deterred by that. The main issue with explosive arguing was that usually it led to one or the other being too intimidated too continue. For them? That was just a normal eb and flow of the conversation. The emotions coming off of them were getting thicker and spicier, sure, but it still wasn’t… off, or weird. It was what a normal argument tasted like. It should work.

But the body language was entirely off. They were getting increasingly heated and pissed, and though they were communicating, their faces were getting clouded, their muscle tensing, a clear, physical irritation building and-

Oh.

Hm.

...was it that simple? 

“...you two keep talking about sparring. I don’t agree that physical violence is key in any healthy relationship, but you two seem convinced that it helped with yours.” Dr. Mariah interrupted, Kaito groaning in frustration, running hands roughly through his hair while Maki had basically an inferno coming off of her. “Any theories why?”

“...it was quicker?” Maki said, shrugging, “We’d just say what we meant and by the time we were done fighting, it felt done.”

“It didn’t always feel good. I didn’t always leave those conversations, like, whelp, glad I did that.” Kaito admitted, subconsciously rubbing his neck, “...but it never really feels like we need to go back to them. It’s always just… done.”

...it really just might be that simple. And it made sense. They were clearly both physical people, you only had to look at them, the muscles that lined their bodies, to recognize it. Beyond that, Dr. Mariah knew that they were both somewhat prone to stimming comforts: Kaito was constantly fussing and abusing his fingers the way someone might a stress ball, and unless Maki was walking, she always acted out during breaks, keeping the conversation tense and going. And it would explain why their emotions didn’t match their buildup of frustration.

It wasn’t emotional frustration, it was physical. The two were literally just, as they said, ‘winding each other up’. Looping on each other increased physical tension the more they argued with each other, hyping up each other's adrenaline and fight reflexes.  

Honestly, it was the sort of buildup a fairy or a succubus would have noticed, not a demon tasting emotions in the air. Purely physical. 

...hm.

“...do either of you dance?” Dr. Mariah asked.

Ah… It had been so long ago, but Kokichi remembered Kaito telling him about that. About kind of the breaking moment for him and Maki breaking up. But...back when Kaito told him about it originally, yeah he seemed a little hurt by it, but he quickly brushed it off, just moving to the next topic. Because, Kokichi had assumed, they’d resolved things. 

But getting into it with the letters, and again now, and just...the subject not falling to rest? What was…

Kokichi felt a flash of worry go through his middle as Dr. Mariah asked about their spars, even if she wasn’t quite advocating for them. Was...that really…

Sitting up, Kokichi blinked in surprise. “...Kai-chan and I go dancing, sometimes. He’s really good at it.”

“Maki can dance too.” Shuichi chimed in, having looked a little mentally checked out as his friend got into it. “It was supposed to be an assassination technique.”

“Absolutely a waste of time.” Maki huffed, “Anyone using ‘seducing them into their room’ as an assassination technique is literally just doing it for the fun of it. It’s far safer and more efficient to just wait until they’re asleep and break into their room, if you’re trying to catch them unaware. Rooms are not that hard to break into.”

“On that note to double check my locks,” Dr. Mariah said dryly, she sighed, tilting her head slightly, “...this might sound silly, but if you both know how to dance? As in proper, technique dancing, where you know the steps and know how it’s supposed to go? The next time you’re both in a situation where the answer would have been ‘spar’? I want you to find somewhere and run through a dance number you both know, instead. Try to do it perfectly, miss no steps, do it until it feels… ‘finished’.”

“...you want us to replace sparring with dancing?” Kaito asked, looking a little incredulous, “It’s… not really the same thing?”

“I think, for our purposes, it might be exactly the same thing…” Dr. Mariah shrugged, “Or it might not be. In which case, we’ll keep working at it, trying other things. But I think there’s a very real possibility that the anger and frustration you all feel at the end of an argument isn’t emotional, or logical. I think it might be purely physical. And you need somewhere to spend that physical aggression.”

It was either dancing or sex, and as much as Dr. Mariah liked to tease, she knew that second recommendation wasn’t realistic for this group. The dynamics weren’t correct, and it would lead to more problems than solutions. So, dancing to start with. If that didn’t work? She was going to suggest mutual jogging next. Run until the urge to beat the crap out of each other went away. At the very least, the two might enjoy more excuses to work out.

Shuichi smirked as Maki and Kaito continued to look skeptical and lost. “Kaito and Maki arguing and dancing? I could ref something like that. Sounds funny.”

...their unresolved frustrations were...purely physical? 

...that was a thing?

Kokichi looked a little lost as Dr. Mariah explained her idea, just...trying to wrap his head around it. Sure, sometimes he felt a little miffed if an argument got pushed to the side, but...that wasn’t this… And...sometimes he still felt sad after being cheered up, at least for a little while, but… Were Kaito and Maki not just calming down after an argument was done? Obviously, since that was the whole issue, but...it wasn’t that the argument wasn’t actually done. It was just...physical?

...that might explain some things. How many times had Kaito said something to him like, ‘how are you not feeling this way’ and Kokichi had always chalked it up to different perspectives but...were they literally just feeling emotions differently? 

“...may as well try it out and see if it helps,” he gently murmured, giving Maki and Kaito a little shrug.

Kaito sighed, shrugging in turn, “I guess. I still carry around this damn rock Miss Crystal gave me, so it’s not like I’m not used to weird solutions.”

“We’ll… try it once.” Maki agreed, mostly because she wanted this conversation to be over with. Honestly, she thought if Dr. Mariah’s answer to their very serious problems was ‘go dancing’, then it was probably going to be up to them to solve their own problems anyway. Might as well stop wasting time with it in therapy, since all Shuichi and Kokichi could do was listen in on their mutual whining about each other.

Dr. Mariah tasted the skepticism, but that was fine. So long as they actually tried it.

“Alright… so that’s Maki and Kaito’s homework sorted,” Dr. Mariah said, partly to herself, “Let’s keep going with scenarios then. Let’s see…”

Dr. Mariah glanced at Shuichi, who still seemed pretty tired and out of it. She could do some questions to draw him back into the conversation, but honestly, Shuichi might not be in the right headspace to do anything too heavy, therapy wise. There would be time later, to challenge him more. For now, she could focus her efforts elsewhere.

Looking to Kaito next, she said, “Kaito, you said at one point that Kokichi had to make a vow to you to place you and the family on equal footing as his responsibilities as an Ouma. You seemed to find real comfort in the idea, but today, Kokichi seemed more worried about him breaking his vow than you did.”

“Um...I mean, I don’t really… see Kokichi leaving some of Miya’s care in my hands as him really ‘breaking’ his vow.” Kaito admitted.

“I can see that. So, I’d like to ask for a scenario from you. What does Kokichi breaking his vow look like, to you?”

“Oh, uh…” Kaito shifted uncomfortably, “...um… D...the people of Dicea ask him to banish us? Or disown us? So, uh… yeah. He has pressures to do that? And… does. I guess.” 

Well, like Shuuichi said, it would be entertaining to watch. Maybe kind of similar to Kaito’s dances with Tangouai, at least when it came to the aggression. And...maybe in the meantime Kokichi could do some reading about...physical emotions? If that was what that was called?

(...it was just for a moment, but Kokichi felt a genuine longing to talk to Nao. Other people’s perspectives and responses to the world had always been a fascination for her, and if she didn’t have the answers he was looking for--though, the questions he had were purely general, and mostly just wanting to learn more about it overall--she always knew where to look to get them.)

(...why had she screwed it up so badly? Out of everyone, Kokichi would’ve put her first to best be able to sympathize with the Luminaries. She didn’t pull punches in pointing out someone’s flaws, but...she had never let those flaws demonize someone to her. There were so many times Kokichi could’ve gone to her for help, if she hadn’t been a monster in her own right…)

Kokichi felt his emotions dip a bit, and the next scenario that Dr. Mariah proposes didn’t exactly help. “...I...don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to that… Is the scenario that I’ve already decided to do that? Because...that’s not letting me make a decision at all.”

If it wasn’t… Kokichi didn’t think that the people of Dicea en masse would ever demand something like that. It was far too personal and petty. 

...but while not en masse, he had been asked if he needed help leaving his husband. Frowning a little more, Kokichi looked up at Kaito. “...if I get a choice, I’d never do that. You’re all citizens of Dicea, so you have a right to live happily here. And you’re my family...other people don’t get to dictate who I love or who I choose to make my family, not anymore after our engagement.”

“...yeah, obviously.” Kaito muttered, fussing with his knuckles. 

Dr. Mariah raised an eyebrow, “That didn’t even sound kind of convincing.”

“No, no, no, I mean… well, that’s… he’s already vowed that! So, so, that’s… obviously what would happen. But, I mean, ya know, you asked for a scenario, so, I mean… didn’t mean anything by it.” Kaito finished half-heartedly, shrugging a little. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time it happened to him.” Maki pointed out, narrowing her eyes slightly, “Public pressure lost him his inheritance. It’s reasonable he’d think Kokich would make the same choice, when faced with that same pressure. Especially if Kokichi had specifically told him that was the case.”

“He didn’t say that.” Kaito quickly interjected, though he felt conflicted to argue with her. He could appreciate that she was coming to bat for him. He just felt… stupid. Dumb, obvious fears.

...how Kaito lost his inheritance… Kokichi didn’t know the whole story, but...he knew there were rumors going around that he was crazy, sparked by Kaito’s anger issues when he was a kid, and...for some reason in Luminous culture, that provoked those “elite” figures to whine at Leon, presumably, until he made Kaito take the oath or ceremony or however it worked to remove himself from succession. 

Kokichi blinked. 

“Wait,” he started, looking a little alarmed. “Was that what you were asking me before?!”

Kaito gave Kokichi a worried look, clearly trying to collect his thoughts-

“Be more clear, Kokichi.” Dr. Mariah said, giving Kokich a mildly stern look. It was rare, to get Kokichi to ask a direct question, and she tried not to push it onto him. But if he was feeling bold enough in the moment to do so? “Define ‘that’. Don’t make him guess.”

Kokichi blinked a few more times, looking between Dr. Mariah and Kaito before he continued, tone only slightly turned down. “Oh, right, sorry, I…” ...he kinda forgot that the clarification had happened in his head…

Facing Kaito, Kokichi looked at him imploringly, still alarmed. “When you first asked me about putting you and our family first… Did you mean...like...that stuff you said? Banishing and disowning and...not making sure you have house and home and opportunities and all that?”

“Oh…” Kaito looked embarrassed now, rubbing the back of his neck, “...I mean, at the memorial garden, I was… kinda more worried you’d kill me or something if Dicea needed you too. More specifically. Like, that’s where my head was at that day, but murder was kinda on my brain for, ya know… ‘assassination’ based reasons. Like if not kill me, than let me die, or let our loved ones die, or… we had just been talking about murdering my family, ya know? It was kinda on my mind, what else you’d be willing to do to me for, like, your peoples sake and stuff… and then you were talking about how if you were the bad guy, you wouldn’t see any problem with me killing you, and that sorta felt like confirmation, for a bit there, that you would...”

Shuichi looked a little more awake or this. “Wait… why were you guys talking about killing Kokichi? Every time you talk about the memorial garden, it’s like you’ve left out some other, big chunk of what happened. How did killing Kokichi come up?”

Kokichi looked at Kaito, astonished. But...he had literally asked Kaito if he thought his life was worth more than millions of others. His life.

“Oh no…” Kokichi groaned, putting his head in his hands. “You stupid, stuipid idiot me…” They really had been god-awful at communicating with each other, but, oh look, Kokichi’s dumb-nuts habit of not saying what he actually meant had put the fear of death into his husband. Great!

Sighing, Kokichi dragged his hands down his face and looked up at Shuuichi, his expression pained. “...it came up a few times, actually. Sitting out in the Memorial Garden like that...I told you guys it was something like a suicide attempt. And...I was kind of going through a mental breakdown… I was feeling so guilty and shitty about both hiding Kaede’s plan from Kai-chan, and what the plan entailed that the first fucking thing I said to Kai-chan when he found me was that he should’ve killed me all the other times he had the chance, and that I was just an obstacle to his happiness.”

Looking a bit annoyed with himself, Kokichi continued. “Then...with the role reversal stuff...I wasn’t even talking about you, Kai-chan. And I wasn’t even really talking about my own death… I was losing it over how bad I thought the situation in Luminary was, and made some dumb, false comparison about how if I was as bad as you guys thought I was, then I wouldn’t be heir, because that’s not how the Dicean system works. But...I extrapolated it like a dumbass and explained all the way how judicial punishments work, meaning that if you refuse every other option, then execution is considered, because you’re refusing to live by the rules of this society.”

Dropping his head back into his hands, Kokichi groaned again. “I mean...first of all, I don’t even have the ability to put anyone to execution, but...more importantly? I’d never even consider it for you, Kai-chan!! For fuck’s sake, I even argued a character witness, despite being your spouce so I knew it wouldn’t be weighted as much, to lessen your assault penalty to just therapy!”

“I’m just such a fucking idiot and told you the words that I was comparing your life, the state of being living, to others’, when I meant that your feelings weren’t worth someone’s death! And even then I felt like GARBAGE about it!”

Dr. Mariah watched Kokichi carefully, wondering if she should step in. He was becoming emotional and heated, and if it were Maki and Kaito, she might have by this point. But… it was so tricky, sometimes, to get Kokichi to speak plainly about much of anything, let alone how he was feeling, that she was actually somewhat afraid of dissuading him. She’d let it go for now, step in if it escalated into a problem.

Kaito, in turn, gave Kokichi a concerned look, and while it had been a long time since the last fear of a heart attack through arguing, he still felt his shoulders tense, and while Dr. Mariah might have stepped back, wanting Kokichi to follow through on this path, he put up his hands a little and cautioned, “Babe, hey, it’s okay, lets… it’s fine. Let’s drink some water and take a breath, okay? We can take a break?”

He said this to Dr. Mariah, who frowned at this, but… she wasn’t going to say no if he wanted a break. “Of course. Let’s take three-”

It was Maki who interrupted this time, brow furrowed, “Wait, I’m confused… how did you get from talking to us, to freezing in the memorial garden, to… comparing yourself to Luminary? Or saying if you were like Luminary, you’d be executed, to Kaito’s life being threatened, by accident? And somehow all of that mixed in with telling Kaito about the plan…”

“That sounds like a busy conversation.” Shuichi sighed, looking tired. “I bet that’s not even all of it.”

“It was just a lot of stuff that had been building all kinda coming up at once,” Kaito grumbled, still mostly worried about Kokichi, “But it’s all fine now. I know you… wouldn’t do that to me, Kokichi. I just didn’t know it then. It’s all okay now...”

Kokichi huffed, feeling a flare of anger as Kaito tried to calm him down, but...he knew that wasn’t fair. The whole reason Kokichi was pissed was because he was an idiot and, once again, had hurt Kaito with his careless words. And getting into a hysterical suicide attempt probably didn’t help either. 

He wanted to be better for Kaito. So...calming down would be a good step for that. 

Sighing, Kokichi reached over to his teacup and took slow, even sips from it, forcing himself to breathe deeply and steadily. And after a moment, though it probably wasn’t three minutes, Kokichi looked up at Kaito with that pained expression that he’d started out with. “...it might be okay now, but I should still apologize. I led you on to a horrible, terrifying prospect. All while you were suddenly thrust into an actually real horrible and terrifying idea. I’m sorry...there are a lot of things I shouldn’t have done that day, but carelessly taking away your sense of security was really cruel. And I’m sorry I never really realized what you meant until today.”

“...heh. I mean…” Kaito gave Kokichi an uneasy grin, shrugging, “I guess, to be totally fair, I didn’t know what you meant until today either. Like… like I know that you…”

Kaito hesitated, before amending, “I like to think that you wouldn’t… hurt me or Shuichi or… ya know. Whatever. I think I know that you wouldn’t kill us, or let anyone else kill us. Cause that’s just now who you are as a person, I really get that now. It’s just not who you are, ya know?”

“But… I did think that maybe you thought you’d be able to do it, if push came to shove. I thought that’s why you said all that stuff, like… cause I thought maybe you believed it? And even if after awhile I didn’t really think you had it in you, the fact that you saw it that way? That you could kill me if Dicea needed you too? That didn’t… sit well, even if I didn’t really think you would. It, ya know…” Kaito laughed, “It sucks to be told, ‘here’s the circumstances I’d kill you in’. Especially when, like, at that time, I… kinda met those circumstances…”

“And, like, literally till just now, I kinda still thought that was the case. Like, you vowing to… heh, wow, I just realized my reaction to your vow must have made no sense to you,” Kaito laughed again, it not really a happy sound, just more stressed than anything else, “Um, but yeah, I thought what you were saying was that if it came down to Dicea and our families, like… well being? As in, like, our lives, if we would live and die, or, yeah, be cast out onto the streets, or hurt or punished in some way… that you’d consider us? You wouldn’t just… automatically do that…”

Kaito laughed again… and then his face scrunched up, and embarrassed, he covered his face with his hands as his eyes burned. “...heh… s-sorry… I thought you knew…”

Kokichi let out a stuttered breath, that pained look only growing. “That’s not on you, hun… If there needs to be blame, I’d just put it collectively on our miserable communication skills...shit.”

Kokichi put a hand over his eyes and bit his lip before raking that hand through his hair. “God, that’s...that’s horrible. And me just...fucking pleading you not to divorce me, after saying that I believed I could have you killed for someone else’s ideals… Kai-chan… I know it’s something different when talking about The Saints, but...you’re a saint. I don’t know how…”

...from Kaito’s perspective? Kokichi had no clue how Kaito managed to be so kind and loving, let alone even standing to be in the same room as him.

Letting out a slow, careful breath, Kokichi pressed his lips together before speaking. “...all that stuff? Making sure that you guys are safe and healthy and happy and alive? That… To me that was always such a complete given I never thought about it. Hearing someone toss that all aside? No wonder… Kai-chan, I’m so sorry…”

“I mean, I mean… you’re not the type, Kokichi. Like, you were never the type, and if I had been less… if that whole conversation had come up in any other scenario, I’d have probably just gotten you to clarify what you meant, or at least told you what I thought you meant, cause, like… it was so… unlike you to even threaten that sort of thing, even if you did believe it? There was just so much fucking else going on at the same time, and I got… really in my head about… c-cause, you know, that shit Byakuya would say about how I got here was starting to feel more true by then, and it kinda was true, and I was starting to think you maybe didn’t see me like a person causes of the whole ‘slave’ argument before that, it was all… but that’s an ‘our dads’ thing, not an ‘us’ thing, and like if I had just been less fucking ready to give up on us I think we could have cleared that up ages ago, and--”

“Okay, Kaito, breathe.” Dr. Mariah stepped in, watching the strain starting to settle into the red-heads face, talking so quickly that she couldn’t tell if he was getting a breath in edge wise. “You don’t have to answer Kokichi’s apology with a bunch of reasons why he shouldn’t be sorry. Take a second, accept his apology, and if there’s more to say about it, say it after. Even if you feel like this isn’t something Kokichi needs to take responsibility for, your husband’s apology means it's something he feels he needs to take responsibility for, and you need to find the resolution to that first. Then move on. Otherwise the emotions will build and become more confusing as you both try to argue two different realities at once.”

Kaito cracked his knuckles nervously, really not wanting Kokichi to feel like… it had been a fucked situation. For everyone. He didn’t want Kokichi leaving this feeling like the bad guy, because that wasn’t how Kaito saw it. The memory of that night was coming back to him clearer now that they were talking about it more, and fuck, Kaito had shut down on him halfway through that conversation. How were they supposed to clear it up when Kaito was all in his head going ‘woe is me, I was sold to a person who doesn’t see me as a priority or even a person’...

Because that wasn’t how Kokichi was. Kaito knew that. It was laughable, even, that Kokichi would think that way. Not about Kaito, not about anyone. Kaito shouldn’t have given up on him that quickly. He should have… at least continued trying to understand what Kokichi was talking about. It had all fallen apart because Kaito had just given up, right then and there, and it was only Kokichi’s pleading that had kept them together long enough to pick up the pieces. Kaito sure as fuck hadn’t been any help…

But Kaito wasn’t going to effectively communicate that trying to rush it all out in one breath. So he pulled out his stone from his pocket and idly started to rub at it, taking a moment to breathe…

“...I mean, you know I forgive you, right Kokichi? I just… so much of that was just miscommunication and… I know now that you didn’t mean it like that. That that’s not what you were even trying to say to me. And, like… it’s okay that it all got messed up like that. Shit was… really hard that day. Neither of us were at our best… sorry, sorry, yes, I forgive you, and… and I’m sorry that I just went from… I think I laughed at you? I don’t really remember, but I’m sorry we went from that to me just asking if we were getting a divorce. That… that wasn’t fucking helpful. And also, looking back at it, that was a shitty way to word that too? Like it was purely your choice, if I was allowed to leave you or not… that’s not what our relationship is. I shouldn’t have kept treating it like it was, that made things so much harder...”

Kokichi really wasn’t the type, but...it shouldn’t have had to be a question. There shouldn’t have been a conflict between what Kaito knew to be true about him, and the words coming out of Kokichi’s mouth. There had already been so much shit actually going on that no wonder Kokichi putting his foot in his mouth had just pushed it to be so much worse…

...but they both hadn’t been at their best, and their communication had issues on both sides. Taking blame just...wasn’t helpful. 

Sighing, Kokichi offered Kaito a small smile. “...I know you forgive me, but...it’s still comforting to hear it from you when I can finally verbalize what I want to apologize for. And...for the record…” Kokichi wrinkled his nose a bit. “...I don’t like saying it like this, but...I forgive you for freaking out? It’s more that...I don’t blame you for reacting how you did, but since you find fault with it...then I forgive you.”

“...there was so much going on, and neither of us were able to handle it,” he sighed, taking another sip from his tea, the cup nearly empty by this point. “...thank you for getting me to Seiko before I got really sick, and...thanks for not giving up on me.”

Kaito grinned at that, “Yeah, babe, of course… I hated that we had that whole conversation while you freaking… freezing…”

As the two quietly talked, Maki caught Shuichi’s eye, and mouthed at him ‘Slave talk?’

Shuichi just gave her a tired shrug. No idea. Again, it sounded like a busy conversation. Shuchi was content that they had figured it all out eventually… though, wow, did that make Kaito’s obsession with Kokichi’s vow make way more sense. He had been wondering, what the hell had Kaito so convinced Kokichi was just going to drop them on some whim. Guess he knew now.

Honestly, he had chalked a lot of Kaito’s behavior up to him feeling ‘insecure’, since he had gotten to Dicea. And a lot of it probably was still that, but at least it was less random and out of nowhere now.

Dr. Mariah, who had been perfectly happy to let this play out, felt a lull in the discussion, and said gently, “This is why a discussion of worst case scenarios can be helpful. I know I’ve said it once already, but it bears repeating: failure doesn’t look the same to everyone here. You all likely won’t agree what the worst case scenario actually looks like, because, well… reality looks different, to all of you. It can’t be helped, that’s just how people are. We’re all functioning in our own, separate ideas of what reality looks like, and half of communication is just finding out what that reality looks like to the other person.”

“Kokich took for granted that protecting a family members physical well being was a given, but had serious fears of forcing his family to jump through hoops for his emotional attention. This makes sense for him, because Kokichi’s life experience supports those beliefs and fears: keeping him physically healthy was a priority for the castle for most of his life, it was common knowledge how frequently he was in and out of the medward, and how precarious his health was. But, and though we haven't gotten into it as much as I’d have liked us too by now-” Dr. Mariah said, having wanted to talk to all of them more clearly about their upbringing before this point, but, well… oh well, “-I have gathered from idle comments that your relationship with your father, Kokichi, was emotionally strained. So the worst case scenario was him repeating the mistakes of his own youth.”

“Meanwhile, Kaito assumed that not only was his life expendable, but that it would take little more than public pressure before protecting him wasn’t worth the effort.” Dr. Mariah said, turning to Kaito, “Which makes sense to him for basically the same reasons. Luminary is culturally a more violent setting, and he grew up alongside a literal assassin for his royal family. On top of that, he’s already been the victim of public pressure to punish him once, and has already lived with the results of family members giving into that sort of outcry. Even with just those two factors to consider, ignoring anything else, that would be enough to convince him his new family member was being sincere that his life was not worth fighting for under public pressure. His worst case scenario was dealing with the same scenario that lost him his inheritance, but with potentially even more dire consequences.”

“These are two wildly different realities… and you both have been living in them, literally side by side, for the last year.” Dr. Mariah said, something mildly scolding in her tone, as she said sternly, “And while it’s not truly your fault this hasn’t been resolved before now, you not having the skills… do not forget, how much suffering and fear and grief could have been avoided, had you literally just talked about your fears and feelings to each other. It was that simple. And it makes all the difference.”

Kokichi nodded tiredly. While...honestly he didn’t think either of them had been in a state to continue that conversation anyway, him not being a hop, skip, and jump away from, like, hypothermia would’ve made things easier. At the least, they probably could’ve made it to Shuuichi’s original first OB appointment the day after. 

...maybe not. Kokichi wasn’t sure if Kaito still would’ve gotten sloshed. 

They had just...been so sure of the meanings they personally had that Kokichi didn’t bother checking his phrasing and Kaito hadn’t questioned what Kokichi said. And it had still taken them ages to look into finding a relationship therapist that they didn’t know how to approach talking about all that stuff, even if they resolved stuff from it separately. 

They knew that they needed to be able to talk to each other to make their relationship work. If they had been able…

Kokichi sighed and nodded to Dr. Mariah’s words, looking a bit ashamed but...just knowing the situation. “...I still kinda feel like a huge idiot...but I’m glad I...at least feel like I know more about where your head’s at, Kai-chan,” he murmured. “We’re really horrible at guessing things about each other and...it feels really nice to know for sure, even if it’s about less than sunshine-y things.”

“I mean… it’s kinda sunshiny? Worst conversations to have than ‘hey, you know I wouldn’t actually trade your life for ideals’.” Kaito grinned, both kinda joking and kinda sincere. “Like, that’s pretty good news, all things concerned!”

“You all are stupid.” Maki sighed, stretching her arms above her head, annoying Dr. Mariah’s scolding look, “Just stop mincing words all the time, it’s not hard. Are we taking another break? We usually do after someone starts crying.”

Kaito shot her a dirty look, “I didn’t cry that much-”

“We can take another five minutes, yes.” Dr. Mariah agreed, feeling like they probably did need a minute. This group was a landmine of drama, really. Dr. Mariah had felt like she had a good grasp of how absurd it could get with them, and then out of nowhere, they raise the bar again… she stood up, “I’ll return in a moment. Please try to respect the break and not get into a serious conversation without me. Breaks really do help, in the long run.”

Shuichi, already with his eyes closed, gave a thumbs up, “Mmmm.”

Well, it was good news, but in the way that getting a decayed tooth pulled was good news. A big relief from serious pain. ...but Kokichi would absolutely take that relief. 

(...he didn’t think he’d get into it. But Kaito talking about how his relief to Kokichi’s vow must’ve seemed so confusing… Kokichi felt guilty for thinking so little of his husband. He just...genuinely thought that Kaito was that self-centered. That Kaito talking about how he’d choose Kokichi over anyone meant that Kaito was happy to let the world burn to preserve his own happy bubble, instead of saying that no matter the pressures, Kaito would always stand by and protect Kokichi. 

Of course Kokichi knew that part. It was one of the first things Kaito ever did for him.

His vow had been Kokichi coming to terms with that, and promising to prioritize his family in terms of how Kokichi spent his time. That he would make sacrifices elsewhere for his family’s happiness.

They really had been living in completely different realities…)

As Dr. Mariah left the roof, Kokichi got up from his seat as well to walk over and crouch by Kaito’s legs, resting his head against his knee. “...I love you a lot, Kai-chan.”

Kaito wondered if the hanging chairs could support the weight of two people… ah, fuck it, Kokichi barely weighed anything.

Kaito leaned down and scooped his husband up, bringing him into his chair with him and cradling him into his lap, placing small kisses against his face and into his hair. “I know you do.” Kaito said, after a moment. “I don’t ever doubt that, okay? Not anymore, not in a long time. Regardless of anything, alright? I knew that you loved me… I just thought our ideas of love were…” Kaito remembered Dr. Mariah’s insistence, and sighed, “...I love you too, Kokichi. And I know you love me. I don’t question it, I promise… my Kokichi loves me, and he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. I know that..”

Kokichi tensed for a moment, almost certain that the chair was going to collapse...but when it didn’t seem like it was straining he relaxed, cuddling against Kaito and returning kisses wherever he could--probably to Maki’s annoyance to see them all over each other like this, but Kokichi didn’t mind. It was a good idea for them to have their own space during therapy, but Kokichi did miss giving Kaito reassuring touches and apologetic nudges. 

He smiled grimly as Kaito trailed off, knowing that that was its own can of worms. He remembered that from the Memorial Garden too, the heartbreaking “realization” that how they thought about love was just...wildly different, and perhaps not enough for each other. Kokichi hadn’t taken that as a defeat, once he’d recovered from that night, and had always tried to love Kaito to the fullest of his own feelings, but...it was relieving to be at the cusp of a realization that maybe their ideas weren’t so different after all. 

“You mean the world to me…” Kokichi murmured, placing a lingering kiss on Kaito’s cheek. “It would devastate me if something happened to you...you’re worth every ounce of fight I can give to protect and cherish you. Kai-chan’s life and happiness is something I want to work for, everyday. I promise.”

“I know… I know, I know.” Kaito murmured, resting his head against Kokichi’s, just enjoying holding him for a bit. “...uh…” he leaned back, giving Kokichi a mildly worried look, as he said, “We… need to talk about what you thought I was talking about. I’m… are you worried I’d be mad you’d, like… need sleep for work and stuff? I… know you need to work… did you think I was guilting you over needing to work?”

...yeah. They did need to get into it. 

Kokichi smiled grimly and put a little pressure against Kaito’s head. “I think getting into that counts as a serious conversation. I’ll talk about it, but...let’s take this break. I’m gonna go back to my chair when Dr. Mariah comes back anyway, and I wanna enjoy being near you for a bit.”

Tilting his head, he placed another kiss on Kaito’s cheek. “...it’s a hard session today, but I’m really proud of how you’re handling it. My Kai-chan is very strong.”

“Okay…” Kaito grinned, pleased by the little kisses. Small, non-spicy kisses… truly a luxury…

He sighed, leaning back a little, chuckling slightly at Kokichi’s reassurance. “Hell yeah… your Kaito can handle news sometimes. I have my moments… gotta be. Gotta keep up with my kickass husband. All sweet and kind and considerate… cool and badass… wish I could think of something that rhymes… my… ‘meaty’ ‘Kichi? Beefy ‘Kichi? Su...premy? Supremey ‘Kichi? Nothing quite fits like weepy and sleepy… sleepy, weepy ‘Kichi…”

Maki rolled her eyes at them, glanced at Shuichi, who might actually be asleep, and went to walk around the roof again.

Eventually, Dr. Mariah returned, having gone to freshen up, and giving the group an amused look, said, “Alright, alright, everyone back in their own seats… Maki, could you please wake Shuichi?”

“Rmmgh.” Shuichi… ‘said’. Indicating he was awake.

“Drink some tea, Shuichi, it’ll get you over the hurdle.” Dr. Mariah said gently. “How is everyone feeling? I know it’s been a tense session. You’re all handling yourselves very well.”

Kokichi laughed softly as Kaito workshopped a nickname, gracing him with more small, non-spicy kisses. “Those are both slant rhymes still. I think…’peachy’, ‘beachy’, and ‘lychee’ are the only things that really rhyme… It doesn’t mean much, but I’m awfully fond of my Kai-Guy.”

As he said, Kokichi got out of Kaito’s lap when Dr. Mariah came back, all the cushions in his chair still not quite as comfortable as his husband. Maybe today would be a cuddling day when they got back. 

Taking a breath, Kokichi nodded slowly. “...I’m okay. But...during the break, Kai-chan asked about what I thought from our misunderstanding, so...I think I should get into that.”

“Mmmm, that makes sense. We know what Kaito’s expectations, at least in part, were from your discussions, but knowing the extremes, and even the not so extreme, expectations that Kokichi thought he was being tasked with… it’s important to hash out what everyone expects from this relationship.” Dr. Mariah agreed, glancing at Shuichi and Maki, judging how patient they could be to sit in the sidelines for this. 

Again, Shuichi was perfectly content looking to just let everyone else hash things out. Maki, in turn, looked curious, which was a good sign. Dr. Mariah wasn’t doing them a disservice by making them an audience to this second part of the session. She was sure this information was useful to them as well, and also expected that they’d find their own reasons to chime in when they were ready.

Glancing over at Kaito, who looked considerably more calm now than he had from before the break, and Kokichi looked less plagued by doubt and guilt… “It’s a good idea. Again, you all are handling very emotionally charged moments extremely well. Everything that’s just happened? Should be considered an extremely good sign, for the immediate future.”

“Alright… Kokichi? Talk us through your thought process. What were you agreeing too?”

Perhaps it was just exemplary of the sorts of communication mistakes Kokichi was prone to, but instead of straight out answering the question, he decided to start from the beginning. 

Well, Dr. Mariah had just said she wanted to get into it more. 

“...my father is a massive workaholic,” Kokichi started. “Even among other people I grew up seeing work in the castle, he stands out among them. He loves me a lot, but…” Kokichi sighed. “He was never around.”

“Until recently… I’ve talked with Dr. Egami about how I always felt when we had to stand next to each other for events and stuff… It always felt like he was miles away, up on some high-rise stage or pedestal where I could never reach. Both in terms of the work standard he set and...personally. For the first time, I’m starting to learn who my father is as a person.”

“So…” Kokichi pressed his thumbs together, though he didn’t look particularly anxious. “So, any concerns about my work taking me away from our family feel important, you know? Things that really are worth getting angry over...because I was pissed for years over how my father treated me.”

“When I made my vow to prioritize our family, to me, I was promising to make more of an effort to be around and be engaged. To not become a stranger, or someone you see only dropping into bed at the end of the day. To not always automatically put kingdom matters before anything else… If things came into conflict, I’d make the effort to try and come up with a working compromise, rather than to just leave you guys to scramble without my help.”

Kokichi frowned a bit, but he didn’t let his gaze fall to his lap. “...but what I thought we were talking about in the Memorial Garden was more severe than that. I was desperate… I still thought that Maki-chan had been asking for my direct input in trying to help Luminary, but every step of the way it felt like everything was screaming that because of the structures, nothing would ever change… I was adamant in the belief that killing Byakuya wasn’t going to help, but...for the first time, that belief of mine, that no death ever solves anything, was being shaken…” Kokichi closed his eyes. “And it terrified me. I didn’t know what to do, and I thought people were turning for me to help… That’s my entire job, you know? To help people who ask for it. But I didn’t have any answers, and when I told you all that…”

He sighed, really not proud of this interpretation now that he knew the full context. “...you said you would’ve chosen me over anyone. And...right then...it sounded like you were saying, ‘I don’t care if people are dying and suffering as long as I get to be happy.’ And...I didn’t know what to do with that… That idea went against everything I believe in...but I love you so...I didn’t know what to do.”

Everyone stayed quiet as Kokichi talked, but Kaito did shoot Maki a glare at the whole ‘killing Byakuya help’ thing, Maki staring cooly back at him. Maybe, when it was time to test the dancing thing, Kaito could… communicate how fucking pissed he still was, about all of that. Bringing his other best friend and his fucking husband in on some conspiracy to kill Kaito’s family… the fuck, Maki?

...in a way? Everything that had happened at the Memorial Garden had kinda kept him from fucking ripping Maki apart. Between the bombshell with Kokichi, needing to take him to the medbay, that fucking awful conversation with Hideki, and running to get wasted and trying to find something to make everything feel… less soul-crushingly awful… if it had just been the revelation about Maki, by itself?

Kaito would have lost his mind on her. Everything else had been just enough distraction to just make her actions feel like one more awful thing in an awful pile, which Kaito had been in no way prepared to even try to start sorting through it all. In a way, maybe that was a blessing. That spar would have probably become very ugly.

Though, as Kokichi explained what he had thought was happening…

...Kaito scratched at his chin a little, “Aw… that’s kinda sweet.”

Maki scoffed, “He thought you were a selfish, heartless asshole. How is that sweet?”

“...cause he still loved me even thinking I was a selfish, heartless asshole?” Kaito grinned, shrugging, “I mean, I’m a Momota Prince… ‘Kichi’s not the first person to think something like that. Hell, I’d argue I can be a selfish asshole. I think it’s sweet Kokichi saw this big flaw in me and was like ‘eh, I’ll take care of this idiot anyway’.”

“Well, I think it’s pathetic.” Maki said, giving Kokichi a hard look, “That shouldn’t have been a flaw you ‘put up’ with. If you thought Kaito was being self-centered, you should have called him out on it. He can be self-centered, he sees the world through very narrow eyes, sometimes. What, you think as the second Momota son, he came out with altruistic traits with no one calling him out on selfish behavior? Quietly enabling him ruins the hard work of everyone in his life who risked punishment correcting him, Kokichi. That’s not helpful.”

Kaito rolled his eyes, “Maki-roll, right now? I am not in the mood for that shit, okay? Leave my husband alone. It’s not his job to control me… though, she kinda has a point.” He admitted, shrugging sheepishly at his husband, “I can be a selfish asshole. I… I’m not thrilled you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling me when I’m disappointing you, babe…”

Kokichi...wasn’t entirely surprised how well Kaito took his thoughts, though he couldn’t help rolling his eyes a little at Maki’s input. Looking at both Maki and Kaito dryly, Kokichi only just bit back the sarcasm on his tongue. “I can’t say how differently I might’ve approached things if I hadn’t been freezing to death, caught between a lot of other arguments that just that one, convinced my husband is a bad day from leaving me, and thinking some of the only friends I had hated me, all while in the middle of my own mental breakdown, but I think I stand by the fact that telling Kaito who was also freaking the fuck out at the time because his loved ones had all been at least knowing of a plan to kill his brother that he was being selfish is a bad idea.”

Huffing slightly, Kokichi calmed himself. “...I still should’ve brought it up later, though.”

“...I don’t believe that everyone needs to think like me. There are plenty of people who don’t spare any concern for things outside their immediate world and...honestly, that’s fine,” Kokichi shrugged a little. “Sure, it’s not what I think is best, but I don’t get to make that decision for other people. Shuu-chan’s told me enough times he tends to fall into that camp too.”

“So...yeah, it was kind of horrifying, but...so were a lot of things that night. While I should’ve brought it up...I just kind of thought to myself...well, if Kai-chan doesn’t care either way, then I just won’t ask him about that kind of stuff, or expect him to sympathize.” Kokichi rolled his eyes again, but this time at himself. “In essence...it was kind of like I was thinking that if he doesn’t care, then I would just have to work to make sure he was both happy and the world wasn’t on fire. By myself.”

Maki had been about to argue that it’s been almost a year since that fight, and Kokichi should have corrected him since then… but just pouted when Kokichi himself beat her too it. Blowing out her cheeks a bit as she just crossed her arms over her chest.

Kaito grinned again, though this one was tinged with a bit of sadness, “Oh, well… that’s still a sweet thought. Not… not a great reflection on me, but to be fair, if you’ve thought it for this long and nothing I did… made you think differently? I mean, I know I gave up on the community letters and… I was never particularly helpful in anything else…”

Dr. Mariah frowned, deciding to jump in at this, “Kaito, before you start throwing yourself on the sword here, listen to Kokichi. You don’t have to make yourself less to fit his world view, especially since you’re trying to fill in the blanks for a world view he hasn’t clarified yet. Let him tell you where he thought you were lacking, before you start looking for flaws in yourself.”

Kaito shrugged. “Okay. I just, I mean… my Kokichi’s beliefs about me didn’t grow from just one incident, I know that. That’s all I’m saying.” He explained, shrugging tiredly.

Dr. Mariah thought about correcting him again, but… well, sometimes you just had to move on. “So, Kokichi, can you explain further? Again, we’re trying to dig out expectations, ultimately. Based on the memorial garden and the vow, what did keeping Kaito comfortable and away from ‘the fire’ actually look like?”

Kokichi gave his husband a soft, but argumentative look before Dr. Mariah stepped in, pretty much covering what Kokichi had wanted to stop Kaito with, and probably more eloquently. And...maybe it was counterintuitive to that, but Kokichi wanted to get his point in. Shaking his head, Kokichi clarified, “Just like how you know me to not be the kind of person to throw people under the carriage, even before today...I know Kai-chan cares about people. Kai-chan cares a lot about the people that are his, but...if he can help it, he doesn’t want to lift them up by pushing others down, even if he doesn’t particularly care about them. So...I don’t mean that what I said was what I thought of you the whole time, okay?”

Sighing, Kokichi thought for a moment, trying to think of definable examples. “...well, it’s a smaller thing, but back when I worked in our room--and part of the change is probably that Kai-chan just isn’t hanging out in the office--sometimes when I was working I’d talk about...whatever it was that I was doing. But...even for people who are pretty into greater affairs, it’s pretty boring so...I stopped doing that.”

“And…” Kokichi grimaced. “...I should’ve talked to him about the letters people were sending in. About them thinking that I was being abused or something…and that was more...me feeling like he was getting enough shit in person and I didn’t want to add to it.”

“...I guess...not pushing hard when he went into his shrine. I’d still go check on him, but...it wasn’t like I was gonna drag him out. And I’ve always tried to encourage...well, all of you to pursue things outside of just...hanging out at home.” Kokichi grimaced a little more. “...not talking about the war in Luminary was a big one, but...I think we both tried not to talk about it for a lot of reasons.”

“...oh.” Kaito gave Kokichi a newly surprised look, “...you thought I was asking you to do all that? I just… kinda thought that was how you were babe. I mean, I knew we talked more openly about things when I first got here, and at some point that stopped, but I’ll admit, I kinda thought you had just gotten sick of me, like… reacting to things and wanting things explained and getting frustrated… I just sort of thought you had gotten sick of it all.” 

Chuckling a little, he said, “Which, like… would have been very fair. I had culture shock pretty bad, when I first got here, and honestly, there’s still plenty of things that leave me frustrated just because it’s not what I’m used too, or… I mean, sometimes it’s hard when I start comparing everything to home…”

Kaito’s shoulders dipped a bit… before he gave a frustrated sigh, rubbing his hand through his hair a little as he said, “But… I never wanted you to stop talking to me, Kokichi. I’m sorry that this whole time you’ve felt like you’ve needed to treat me like something fragile… I want to be someone you can vent things too. And talk about policy stuff, even if I don’t understand it. I don’t… I can’t think of myself as some sort of ‘co-king’. I don’t feel like I do anything to earn that title, and the title of king is one I respect. I’m not really good at being in a leadership role, I think…”

“But Kokichi, as your husband and prince consort? I came here expecting that one of my duties would be to be someone you could talk to when there was no one else. I’m supposed to take on that sort of emotional labor on your behalf, and I’m supposed to support you when you ask for or need it. I… I’m not always good at it, cause I should have just kept quietly doing the letters when you asked me too, I shouldn’t have complained, but that was me failing in what I wanted to do.”

“I want to support you and be someone you can lean on during hard times. I… I want your protection, legal wise, from Dicea and other people, but that’s just because your the head of our family and… that’s kind of something I never considered wasn’t shared between the cultures, and it’s hard to break that thought process that you’re not meant to protect me, as like your role. At least not any more or less than you’re meant to protect anyone… but that’s just physically. Emotionally? I don’t… want you to leave me out of your problems. I want to help. I want to be there for whatever you need...”

Kaito sighed, “Fuck, it kinda kills me that you’ve gone this long thinking I wouldn’t want to be… bothered, or something… you must have felt so fucking alone…”

Kokichi nodded sadly, able to clearly see the flaws of it all now, but...there was one thing that bothered him, still. 

“Kai-chan...you talk about the letters a lot. And I disagree; you shouldn’t have just kept doing them,” Kokichi said firmly. “Every time I talked about them, it was because I couldn’t tell if you didn’t want leadership, or you just felt too intimidated to start. You kept telling me that you hadn’t been learning how to do administrative stuff, and every time I asked if you wanted to do admin work, you would always dodge the question and make it about my expectations for you. So...I knew the social letters were a good entry way into admin work, and it was something you could do as you learned the ropes of other things.”

“But only if admin work was actually what you wanted to do. Which it isn’t. So...honestly, I wish you’d told me earlier that you didn’t want to be a part of administration. I wouldn’t have brought up the letters again.”

With that said, Kokichi sighed, deflating a bit. “...sometimes it was hard. Especially with the people writing in, and me missing Maki-chan… But I never felt alone. You do support me in a lot of ways, hun. I just...thought that those kinds of things were just...things unique to my life, and that you probably had things unique to yours.”

Quiet for a moment, Kokichi looked over shyly. “...so...do you actually mind when I talk about work stuff?”

Sure, Kaito had things unique to his life, but… not because he didn’t want Kokichi to be a part of them. It was just things his husband didn’t seem to have an interest in. Which was fine! But… he didn’t want Kokichi to think that Kaito had this big barrier between them, that Kaito specifically didn’t want to know things about Kokichi. How his day was going, what he was working on, what he was sad or frustrated about…

Kaito regretted not trying harder on the letters because, well… his husband so rarely asked anything of Kaito. Or even implied he needed anything from Kaito. Most of what Kaito did for Kokichi was basically just the result of Kaito throwing himself into Kokichi’s business over and over and seeing what stuck. Kaito wanted to be there for Kokichi whenever his husband needed him, or fuck, even just kinda wanted him, and he felt like he didn’t always measure up to that desire.

(...the letters were just… everything was so strange here. The people were strange, what they did and talked about was strange, the whole concept of the letters themselves was so strange… Kaito felt so weird and foriegn here…)

But, Kokichi was right, Kaito had resented the task almost from the start and he really should have just been honest with Kokichi that the idea of doing desk work every day kinda made Kaito want to bash his head against a wall. He had been dreading the amount of paperwork being an officer in the military was going to involve, especially if his brother had his way, and school had been a trial, even with literally every privilege and advantage Luminary could offer. Administration work would have eventually frazzled the shit out of Kaito.

Kaito should have just told him.

He gave his husband an incredibly fond look at the question in turn-- because they were both just really bad about telling each other honestly pretty simple desires, it seemed-- as he grinned, “Babe, are you kidding? I am dying to hear about this stuff! Listening and watching you do leadership stuff… damn, I will never get over the fact that you literally have no idea what you do to me.” Kaito sighed, shaking his head, a little openly judgy, “Asking me like it’s some sort of sacrifice on my end, to get to hear about all the cool shit my husbands doing… honestly, Kokichi. Of course I want to hear about work. I want to hear about everything you do. You fascinate me, babe.”

Kokichi turned pink and added a smile to his shy look, looking away from Kaito just ‘cause he couldn’t handle how cute and amazing Kaito was. It wasn’t like Kokichi had a ton of people his age spurn him for talking about his work, but...it was always really obvious when he was around peers that it was a whole different world to them. And seeing enough how bored kids got when adults talked about just regular adult responsibilities...it always made Kokichi feel that if he talked about his work casually, the only people who would listen would be listening with blank heads and just waiting for him to be done. 

He probably shouldn’t be basing what he considered interesting subjects on what kids were interested in, especially when he was talking to his adult husband, but...well, it hadn’t been long ago that Kokichi was a kid, so that was his reference. 

“...I did really like telling you about the stuff I was working on. Just...let me know if it does get boring, alright? And don’t hesitate to ask me what the hell I’m talking about, ‘cause sometimes I forget what’s not common knowledge.”

“Okay, will do…” Kaito’s grin wavered a little. He was still kinda trying to process what that night at the Memorial Garden had actually looked like to Kokichi. “...so, ‘Kichi… at the garden? Is what happened that you came to me for help, and you thought I told you I didn’t care?”

...Kokichi deflated a bit. Looking even more to the side as he tugged gently on a piece of hair just to the side of his eyes. “...kinda...yeah. I mean...you were dealing with a sudden dump of...pretty horrible betrayal so...at least in the moment, I thought it was...yanno, understandable that it’d play second fiddle.”

Sure, there was a lot going on, and to be fair, Kokichi hadn’t so much ‘come to him’ as Kaito had just thrown himself at his husband again, again hoping something would stick… but Kaito still felt uncomfortable at the idea that Kokichi had thought Kaito would treat him that cruelly… 

He sighed, trying to remember that night better… Kokichi had been doing all that scary ‘you should kill me’ stuff, and then Kaito had gotten really angry at the ‘slave mentality’ accusation… lot of fiery, angry red feelings in those memories, and then the next bit had been just… like popping a balloon. Suddenly all of the air had left Kaito, and Kokichi’s words had seemed… airy and far away and for a moment almost like they didn’t matter… and most of the rest of that night had been just trying to not… go kinda crazy. Which was probably the headspace Kokichi had started in, when that conversation started, so that sucked…

Kaito was looking for a moment where he could have done better and was struggling a little, but he was certain he could have been. “I just… I hate this idea that you just let me treat you that badly. And that’s not saying it was your fault! It wasn’t, that’s not what I mean. I just mean...I feel like there’s so many moments in our relationship where you should have left me. I hate this idea that you’ll just… put up with anything I do, even if it’s over half a year of me letting you think I don’t want to be ‘bothered’ by your problems, or… all the times I’ve… physically harmed you… I acted like a crazy person at the beach and ruined your big first vacation…”

“...I love you a lot. I just… hate the idea that you’ll settle for me. For whatever I am or whoever I am… you deserve better than to be with someone who doesn’t make you feel supported.” Kaito frowned, glancing at Dr. Mariah, having half expected her to make him stop talking, and when there was nothing on that end he continued, “I’m not saying I wish you had left me. I’m just saying I wish it had felt like more of a possibility. You shouldn’t settle for someone being cruel to you, you’re too good for that.”

Kokichi frowned softly and slowly turned back to Kaito, listening to him. “...it’s never felt like settling to me. Sometimes I can hardly believe that you chose to be with me...and I mean that emotionally, where we both had more of a choice,” Kokichi clarified, not feeling like going down the political path of their relationship again. “And even if there were certain expectations on you about being my spouse...you still had a choice. And you even went against those expectations to be kind to me and treat me like a person, and be my ally and friend when I had convinced myself I had none.”

“...I haven’t physically harmed you, and I haven’t nearly gotten us arrested, but...I’ve been really shitty and cruel to you too. Gaslighting you and making you feel unsafe in a system you didn’t understand, and having you deal with really horrible suicidal episodes…” Kokichi sighed, but when he looked up his gaze was steady. “I’m not saying that because we both hurt each other that it’s okay, that it all cancels out. That’s not how that works, and we know that, because we’ve both been working to whip ourselves into shape to be better.”

“I just mean...that even with all that shit we did to each other...we both still decided to stay.” Kokichi smiled grimly, glancing to Dr. Mariah for a moment. “Maybe that means we’re both kinda masochistic and willing to be with someone who treats us badly, but...we decided that the answer isn’t splitting up and trying to have a healthier life apart. We’ve decided to work together to be better to ourselves and each other. So...I’m not settling for you. The same, I hope, that you’re not settling for me.”

Kaito found the idea that Kokichi was someone you ‘settled’ for absolutely baffling, but he didn’t say that. He just nodded quietly, sighing a bit before chuckling, “Well… at least we got Shuichi to buffer us out.”

“Shuichi fell asleep maybe ten minutes ago.” Maki told them.

Shuichi, eyes closed and breathing evenly, said nothing to defend himself.

“He’s so perfect.” Kaito gushed, looking at his pregnant boyfriend adoringly.

“...you know, in other circumstances, I likely would have recommended separation.” Dr. Mariah admitted, looking between the two still awake men. “In normal circumstances, your treatment of each other are deal breakers. You’ve had several volatile incidents that resulted in serious harm to each other, either physically or psychologically. They’re not small mistakes, and on their own? They’re not acceptable ones either.”

“That said,” she added on quickly, ignoring Kaito’s wince, “I told you from the beginning that your situation is unlike others. You’re not the norm, and I don’t mean in the sense that political peace relied on your union. You’ve had, outside of your own control, tragedy after tragedy after tragedy, one after another, almost constantly battering you within the last year… in a sense? This group, at least since Kokichi has been added to it, has seen each other at nothing but their worst, because most people don’t react well or remain good and composed and kind under incredible amounts of stress. Most people lash out, and fracture, and act out their worst instincts against each other, when they feel miserable and under attack and like the stress will never end.”

“This year? The people you know each other as? Has literally been your relationship at its worst… and a very real argument can be made that if you still found yourselves even liking each other by this point, let alone loving each other?” Dr. Mariah smiled softly, “Then you owe it to yourselves to see what this relationship is like at its best… or even just ‘kind of okay’. By this point, ‘things not being actively terrible’ is a real step up, from what you’ve all been navigating together. For that alone, it’s worth continuing to explore.”

Kokichi looked over at Shuuichi absolutely passed out with nothing but adoring affection in his eyes. Shuuichi was no saint either, but he did even them out more. And, like he’d told Maki before, add in her so the four of them were together? Things just felt right. Like they were finally balanced, even if things were going wrong around them. 

...which, for a while, had been constant. 

As Kokichi looked back over to Dr. Mariah, that affection dimmed into fatigue. Kokichi had known a lot of horrible years in his life, but none were as consistently and persistently as battering as this last one had been. Their group had, at times, been vicious to each other, the kinds of things that would get Kokichi blanching in court and the jury absolutely deciding to separate them. But the world had been just as cruel and...well, you don’t blame someone for stealing food if there’s no money in their pockets and no fruit in their garden. 

And coming out of it...they had recognized that they needed help, and had found love and friendship strong enough to fight through the hurricane to try and preserve. If they could make it out of this year together? ...they just might be able to do anything. 

Kokichi looked across the group at Kaito, smiling sweetly. “...I’d really like to see what us at our bests look like. I don’t even know if I can fathom how happy being with you like that would make me.”

“Same…” Kaito glanced meaningfully at Maki, “I hope that future includes more nice shirts in my drawers.”

“I gave you the money, go buy yourself nice shirts.”

“Go shopping with me! You ruined all my nice shirts!”

“I ruined three shirts, stop being a baby!”

Shuichi blinked sleepily, saying groggily, “m’egh… we back to Kaito and Maki fighting?”

“Nah.” Kaito grinned, laughing, giving his family a bright, pleased look, “I just felt good and wanted to laugh a little. Go back to sleep handsome.”

“You are all in the middle of therapy, don’t tell Shuichi to go back to sleep.” Dr. Mariah corrected dryly.

“Are we still only in the middle of this? I feel like we’ve had three different ‘revelations’ by this point.” Maki observed, “Seems excessive.”

Shuichi grumbled something that might have been nonsense, or might have been a corrective, “Four.”

Kokichi snickered a bit as Kaito wagered for his shirts, truly excited for the “best” days, if these really were the ‘not actively terrible’ ones. They felt pretty good to him, honestly, so...if there was something even better on the horizon? Excellent!

Giving Shuuichi a soft look that his boyfriend probably wasn’t even looking at, Kokichi soothed, “Just a little longer, Shuu-chan. Then we’ll get you wings and you can take a nap when we get home.”

That said, he did give Dr. Mariah a mildly surprised look. “Has it really only been half our time? That’s...pretty amazingly productive today if so.”

“It has,” Dr. Mariah confirmed, giving him a mildly amused look, “Turns out when we stay on task, we actually get quite a bit done. Who would have guessed?”

“I say we stay on task, for the most part.” Kaito pouted, “We really try at this stuff.”

“You just told Shuichi to go back to sleep.”

“He’s so sleepy though.”

“‘M up, ‘m up.” Shuichi gurgled, sitting up and reaching for his tea, sighing as he took a sip, “I think I was only asleep for a minute-”

“You weren’t.” Maki said.

“- but what did I miss? Last thing I remember Kaito and Kokichi were discovering they both thought the other were psychopaths for the last half a year…”

“That seems harsh.” Kaito said dryly.

“Also an inaccurate use of that word.” Dr. Mariah corrected idly.

“Kaito thought Kokichi would kill him if asked, Kokichi thought Kaito vocally and proudly didn’t care about anyone else in the world-”

“It really does sound bad when you summarize it like that.” Maki observed. “Shuichi, are you and I the stable ones of the group?”

“Hell no.” Kaito growled… before suddenly guiltily saying, “Love you handsome!”

“-and they were just clearing things up when I drifted off.” Shuichi yawned, “What’d I miss?”

“Mostly Kokichi and Kaito reassuring each other that despite everything they still love each other and are going to make it work.” Maki summarized.

“Mmmm… did Dr. Mariah do one of her inspiring speeches about how terrible our lives are?”

“I am getting predictable.” The therapist whispered, dismayed… before saying, “Now, we can continue with scenarios, they have proved very fruitful so far, but… Kokichi, you said something earlier that leads to a point I’ve actually probably neglected for too long, considering everything. And not just for him, but for all of you.”

Dr. Mariah, briefly, hesitated… there was a reason she had put this off. She knew the answer wasn’t going to be simple for literally any of them, because just like everything else she knew about them, all of their childhoods were absurdly tragic… but, well. They still had time, and she owed it to them to start dismantling all of that. At least to have them share and define what those experiences were, if nothing else. So…

“I’d like to discuss all of your childhoods in more detail. I know the basics for most of you, but most of that knowledge is purely incidental… Kokichi,” She said, looking to him, “I know it might be hard to summarize, but… let’s talk about what your childhood looked like.”

They were all a little fucked, but...well, most people were. Your efforts to be better were really the thing that mattered. 

...and a lot of those efforts, and even your definition of ‘better’ were pretty informed by your childhood, huh? As soon as Dr. Mariah had mentioned wanting to get into it, Kokichi figured this was coming, but...it didn’t make it any easier. 

Sighing, Kokichi chewed on his lip a little as he tried to come up with something succinct, though he figured they’d get more into certain things as they become relevant or interesting. “...it was a lot of cycles of being sick to varying degrees, being looked at by healers, having some reprieve when I’d be with my dad or my siblings, or even just going off to play by myself when I was a little older, and studying a bunch.”

His mouth scrunched to the side. “...that seems really surface level, but...I don’t know how to explain anything without, like...taking it month by month, essentially.”

Dr. Mariah looked at Kokichi curiously at that. “I knew it would be difficult, and it’s fine that it is. It’s curious that you’re concept of ‘in depth’ would be a calendar series of events though. The childhood is quite a long stretch of time, both legally, physically, and in most personal concepts of the idea.”

“...?” Kaito gave Dr. Mariah a confused look, before glancing at Maki, who’s face had gone neutral in the way he recognized when someone had said something she didn’t understand but didn’t care enough to ask for clarification. Man, why did people just say kinda ‘heady’ concepts like that without explaining what they mean? Watch, she was going to continue on like it was a totally reasonable thing to say-

“So it’s an interesting peek into how your mind words,” Dr. Mariah continued easily, unaware she had lost two of her audience with that lost part. “But, we’re not really looking for the series of events that make up your life… let’s see…”

Dr. Mariah paused, trying to line up in her head the most fruitful series of questions she could ask. The problem was that any question she asked, any specification, could accidentally close off the path to asking about something that affected Kokichi more. She thought his plague of illnesses were likely worth talking about, also what it was like to be raised as a contended heir, also what his social situation was like, also his relationship with his parents… it all mattered. And because of that, she was a little spoiled for choice, and a little uncertain what to prioritize…

“You say that there was some reprieve, spending time with your father. But at the same time, that relationship sounds like it was very distant-”

“Kokichi’s got two dads.” Kaito interrupted, “...basically. If he says ‘dad’, he usually actually means his childhood nanny.”

Dr. Mariah thought about chastising Kaito for offering information Kokichi himself hadn’t, but… “Interesting.” She said, looking to Kokichi, “Is that correct?”

Kokichi just shrugged a little, looking a little tired. “It’s always seemed like the easiest way to organize everything, even if I’d inevitably miss things. And my longer bouts of illness usually served as pretty good benchmarks for when things happened, but I’ve always had to clarify which one I’m talking about by age so...that’s just how I think about it.”

As Dr. Mariah thought about what to ask about, Kokichi wondered if it was that weird to explain a life by series of events. He liked going into details about what happened and how he felt and all that stuff but...for broad view, wasn’t that just the events?

Perking as Dr. Mariah decided to ask about his dad...dads…

Oh.

Looking a little embarrassed, Kokichi nodded, giving Dr. Mariah an apologetic look. “Sorry, yeah. I’ve been trying to be better about being clear who I’m talking about, saying ‘father’ for Aiichi and ‘dad’ for Ikuo, but...it’s hard not to just think of them both as ‘dad’.”

“Aiichi’s my father. Biologically, that will never change, but while he’s always cared about me…” Kokichi frowned as he explained. “...until lately, I couldn’t even tell you the last time he’s hugged me, or told me he was proud, even if he’s always felt that way. He was always so distant, and for a long time I thought he hated me and…” Kokichi’s voice wavered slightly. “...and that he wished I had never been born so my mom would still be alive.”

“...he was horrified when I told him that.”

Taking a steadying breath, Kokichi continued. “And Ikuo...I’ve always thought of him as my dad. He was hired to be my nanny before I was born, and he was the primary person that took care of me as a young kid, and...it was never just a job to him, you know? He loves me, and I always felt that love from him. In part, the person I am today is because of being raised by him. So...yeah. I have two dads.”

“I see. At the risk of sounding terribly cliche… how does that make you feel?”

Dr. Mariah laughed slightly, glancing around around at the group… before her childish face pouted. “That one at least usually gets a pity laugh.”

Maki, Shuichi and Kaito gave each other confused looks. “...is that… some sort of therapy in-joke?” Shuichi guessed, raising an eyebrow.

“I know therapy was rare in Luminary, but you’ve never heard of the therapy stereotypes? Didn’t therapy feature in your novels at least?”

Maki shrugged, Kaito shook his head. Shuichi yawned.

“Hm. Culture differences have ruined my joke.” Dr. Mariah realized, sounding genuinely put-off. “But the question was also sincere. Alternative family dynamics are really only as emotionally conflicting as we feel they are. Did it feel like an emotionally stable environment, growing up?”

There was something… briefly, visibly annoyed in Kaito’s expression. Like he was holding himself back from a rude comment. 

Kokichi gave Dr. Mariah a snort, but it really wasn’t enough to stand up to 3/4ths of her audience stonewalling. Such was trying for humor across cultures. But it was a genuine question. 

“I mean...that’s kind of a hard question, and it doesn’t feel right claiming that because it’s hard, the answer is no, you know?” Kokichi started, his eyes slightly unfocused in the way they got when he was thinking something through. “...I always wanted Aiichi’s attention and approval, so...that was a big strain, and its replacement in me just...disregarding him in every way except as colleagues wasn’t much better.”

“But while Ikuo was around? Most of the time...I was really happy,” Kokichi smiled softly. “I had bad days and...probably more than what’s average, but I still have so many happy memories of spending time with my dad and my sister and my aunt and uncles… I got scared and frustrated a lot because of my health, but I always had people there to comfort or distract me.”

“...until I got older, at least,” he sighed. “After Ikuo left, it wasn’t like I started pushing everyone away immediately, but...I dunno. As my sister got more involved with the guardforce and one of my uncles died...I think I just got more and more down on myself until it got to how it was when we met,” Kokichi nodded to the others.

Dr. Mariah actually tasted it in the air, partly coming from Shuichi, but mostly radiating from Kaito. A taste of...sadness. Frustration and regret. The sadness was from Shuchi, mostly, but the frustration was radiating hotly off Kaito. Hmmm… the frustration was interesting, but Dr. Mariah wasn’t certain if it mattered, or if she should try to draw it out. Especially considering that Kokichi himself tasted mostly… resigned felt close, but it wasn’t quite right. He tasted a little bit like a slightly stale blueberry pie, if Dr. Mariah had to make a comparison. There was some regret, some contentment, some sadness…

He tasted like he was in recovery. His own therapist might have it well in hand, and Dr. Mariah wouldn’t be helping him with much, digging into it. Kaito’s feelings on it might be something worth talking about, communication wise, but the fact that Kaito was trying to school his expression so carefully suggested to Dr. Mariah that whatever his frustration was about, he was already trying to work on it.

“It sounds like you had a good amount of found family, around you.” Dr. Mariah said gently, “And I’m sorry to hear about your uncle.”

Flash of regret from Kaito. Interesting. Still might not be a crisis though. 

“Kokichi, considering the circumstances of your family, present here,” she said, indicating to the Luminaries, “Your found family is going to be the biggest extended family influence in Miyako’s life. Have you talked to them about that? Outside of the four people in this room, they’ll have the most influence on her at the earliest part of her life. Have you talked to them about hopes and expectations?”

Kokichi offered Dr. Mariah a small smile and a nod of thanks, but...they could get into it another time. Kaito hated talking about Hideki, and Kokichi knew Toshio was a sore subject there, so...those definitely were things to talk about, but it’d come in time. 

Because, for the most part...Kokichi’s family lived in the same place as them. 

Nodding a bit, Kokichi tugged at a strand of hair. “Ikuo’s been the most involved, for sure. In part because he’s someone with experience caring for a baby, but also...I want him to be involved in Miya’s life, and he’s ecstatic about that.” Grinning, Kokichi leaned forward a little. “My dad’s really good at making stuffed animals, and I still have one he made me ages ago. He made this little lamb for Miya and this super soft baby quilt!”

“And my sister doesn’t always have the freest schedule, but she’s pumped to be an aunt. And...uh…” Kokichi’s grin faltered a little there. “I mean...Aiichi’s excited to be a grandpa too, but...I don’t really expect much from him. And my uncle’s been nudging me more about how Shuu-chan’s doing and plans we have set up for Miya ‘n stuff, but...he’s not the most social guy, really.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t mention Denji,” Maki said idly, trying to tuck her hair behind her ear again, “When I was getting my hair done, they wouldn’t shut up about giving Miyako a decent sense of fashion. Kept lamenting about having gone ‘so wrong’ with you… what’s that weird title they kept using? Started with a z…”

Kokichi blinked before a horrified expression crossed his face. “Oh no… Please don’t tell them that I forgot to mention them! I’ll never live it down and Denji-chan will always tell Miya about how much of a jerk I am!”

Still in a bit of a tizzy over forgetting his older sibling, Kokichi let out a frazzled sigh. “Yeah...my big sibling is excited for Miya too… Zizi...they’re gonna be a zizi--like aunt or uncle but not a gendered term.”

“...fuck.” Kokichi put his head in his hands for a moment.

“Therapy is a safe space, and I am sworn to confidentiality.” Dr. Mariah idly reassured, “Your secret is safe with me.”

“My secrecy can be bought.” Shuichi said between sips of tea, “I will accept drawer candy’s. Maybe a foot rub when we get home.”

“...like, what kind of plans?” Kaito asked, looking to Kokichi uncertainly, “What’s Hideki asking about?”

Kokichi nodded in sorrow to Shuuichi’s demands, absolutely going to fulfil them--and he probably would’ve anyway, not spurred by his sibling’s potential ire. Maki hadn’t made any demands, but hopefully she just didn’t care enough to ruin him like that. 

Taking a calming breath, Kokichi looked back up, giving Kaito a gentle look. “He’s asked a lot, actually. Everything from if we know what we wanna do for her education yet--which I said we’re waiting on, since there’s no way to know how she learns yet--to what kinds of books and songs we’re gonna share with her. Hideki cares a lot about information...this is his way of being involved.”

Kokichi smirked a little. “...I’m kind of excited to see them together when she’s in her “why” years. Apparently it was comedy gold when it was the two of us.”

‘Uncle Hideki, why do people call Dad ‘half-Luminary’?’

‘Well, you see, some people are born evil-’

Kaito bit the inside of his cheek, knowing that was… the wrong way to look at that… probably… maybe…

Actually, Hideki probably wouldn’t just tell Miyako Luminary was evil. He’d probably just… state a bunch of facts and statistics at her and let her come to her own conclusions… and fucking smirk like an asshole when she decides, ‘Oh, Luminary’s evil, I see, dad why do you come from such a shitty place-

Kaito went to go sip on his water. The vein in his forehead throbbing. 

There was a weird sort of pause, as Kaito sipped at his water… and then when he was finished sipping, he grinned, “Aw, that sounds cute. Wait… we have bought children's books, right? Have we bought children’s book yet?”

“We have.” Shuichi assured him sleepily, “Me and Kokichi bought a few a couple of weeks ago. Could use more though, if you wanted to get some yourself, Kaito.”

“I will! I will pick out some children books! I bet I can find some from our childhood, we must share some children's book.” Gotta try to get some positive Luminary stuff in there before Hideki has a chance to ruin it forever. 

There was a slightly pained look on Kokichi’s face as he just...got all sorts of bad vibes from Kaito. Kaito said he didn’t want to drive a divide in Kokichi’s family, but Kokichi knew he’d be less than thrilled to have Hideki be so prevalent in Miyako’s life. And...well, Kokichi knew that his uncle was an extremely awkward person when it came to social things. The agreement Kokichi and Hideki came to was...more or less, Hideki wouldn’t be on the first page of people to look after Miya. He wouldn’t be excluded from the family, and he’d still get to see her--and if Miya herself sought after her great-uncle, which would probably happen since Hideki was practically a walking encyclopedia for a little kid, he wasn’t going to turn her away or anything--but… He’d just be more distant than, say, Ikuo or Lake or Denji would be.

But...Kaito was trying, and that was all Kokichi could ask. 

Laughing slightly, Kokichi gave Shuuichi a fond look. “It was really cute how you and Ikuo were brainstorming what sorts of books you remembered as a kid.” Nodding to Kaito, Kokichi grinned, “Apparently there are more than a few! But I’ll give you the list of ones we bought if you wanna go searching more. And, yanno, we do have access to a library two floors down, so it’ll be easy to try out books and see if she likes them.”

“Oh yeah, that’s true. Our castle library-”

“Luminary’s castle library.” Shuichi corrected.

“...the library back in Luminary didn’t have a children's section. So it just didn’t occur to me.” Kaito laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Dr. Mariah was quietly watching all of this… hm… “Maki, Shuichi, Kaito? I can’t help but notice that you haven't brought up your own thoughts on Miyako’s extended family.”

“Well, sure… I mean, we didn’t want to interrupt-”

“You’re literally in the middle of talking about children's books.” Dr. Mariah smiled slightly, the tone not chasticing, but slightly scolding. “This is not a group afraid of speaking up… unfortunately, I wish you all spoke up about personal concerns as often as you wanted to make jokes.”

“As the only ‘not actually her parent’ in the room, what’s there to be concerned about?” Maki asked, “Beyond their inability to be effectively harassive-”

“We are professional busy-bodies.” Shuichi sleepily cheered.

“-they’re all basically harmless. Their criminal records are mostly clear, they’re not prone to child abuse, outside of Aiichi’s neglect, which won’t factor in since Miyako has three actively engaged fathers, their social circles are mostly clear. Nazumi’s the biggest physical threat and she hasn’t been actively a threat in almost three decades…” Maki shrugged, “Miyako’s perfectly safe around them… and if not we’ll correct it.” She finished grimly.

“... have you… looked into all of their social circles, Maki?” Dr. Mariah asked. 

“I was doing a lot of background checks when I first got here.” Maki said, “Shuichi helped.”

“We had a lot of time on our hands,’ Shuichi sighed, “Even considering everything.”

The children’s section in the library was pretty nice. The romance section had the best comfy chairs, but the children’s section had the bookcases painted fun colors and had a few clear areas with beanbags and low chairs and tables and there were always cool little “self-promotion” posters near books with drawings of the characters acting out something relevant to the story with a little blurb about what kind of story it was, trying to entice kids to branch out to new stories. Kokichi had a lot of good memories curled up on those beanbags.

But! Family. 

And...Maki’s answer was a little predictable. Focused on if Kokichi’s family was safe, which was important! But...not the whole story. 

Looking between his friends, Kokichi scratched his cheek a little. “...we’ve talked about it a little, but...yeah? You’re okay with my family being a part of her life? More than just safety but...you’re okay with them?”

“Mmmmm…” Shuichi hummed, sipping at his tea. To his credit, his sleepy, apathetic brain was genuinely considering the question, “...I mean… there’s some personality traits she could pick up that would make me regularly weep…”

“No, I mean… it’s good! They’re all… good people, and, and… they’re influence made you!” Kaito said, looking to Kokichi, sounding very much like he was mostly talking to himself as he said reassuringly, “And you’re great! So… it’s good! And… Lake is very nice… Denji… does hair really good…” Kaito trailed off for a second, before saying much more confidently, “Ikou’s going to be amazing! Little Lamb is already a great little doll, and if she lasts half as long as Smug Rabbit, then Miyako’s going to have a sweet little childhood toy forever, made by her sweet, cute, just… adorable grandfather… with those cute little dimples… broad shoulders…”

Dr. Mariah now just looked confused. “Um… sure. So you feel good about Ikou’s place in Miyako’s life?”

“Absolutely! He’s been really supportive of Shuichi, he’s been really involved with the family since he’s been back, he doesn’t seem to actively hate Luminaries, which is basically a miracle considering how long he was fighting us… really thought the veterans were gonna be a much bigger issue with that thing, but man, was it not them I should have been worried about.” Kaito laughed… before saying quickly, “Really has barely been a problem.”

“Except for that time Kokichi was kidnapped.” Maki reminded him.

“Yeah, except for then. Otherwise not been a problem.” Kaito agreed.

...Kokichi appreciated the attempts. And he knew Lake was aware that things between her and Kaito were still kind of tense...and even if things were tense, Denji probably wouldn’t care and would still be there for their niece. And...while Kaito and Shuuichi didn’t mention Aiichi and Hideki at all...Kokichi had already talked to them about not being quite so present. 

...he hadn’t liked the hurt in Aiichi’s eyes, and somehow the understanding in them right alongside it hadn’t helped either. But even if he managed to be even slightly more present in Miyako’s life than he had been in Kokichi’s, that would still walk the balance well. 

Ikuo, on the other hand, was a complete non-issue, and considering how often his dad popped up in conversations even when Kokichi wasn’t trying to talk about his family, he knew that his dad was golden. Even if Shuuichi still wasn’t thrilled about him leaving. 

Kokichi sighed and rubbed his temple a bit as Kaito went off about how ‘cute’ Ikuo was again and...he tensed a little at the discussion about anti-Luminary sentiment from veterans, but… Kokichi nodded, his face a little solemn. “...I haven’t heard much of an issue about it these days but...I really wanna make sure Miya can learn and be proud of both of our cultures,” he nodded to the others. “Thankfully we don’t really run into hatefully xenophobic people all that often…”

“...” Kaito popped his joints uneasily. He glanced at Shuichi and Maki and briefly hoped one of them might say something positive, in support of the idea… but if Maki had an opinion on it, it didn’t show, and Shuichi sipped at his tea, that uninterested, apathetic look either just because he was sleepy or just because he really didn’t care if Miyako grew up appreciating Luminary culture or not.

But then, Shuichi had no lingering love for their kingdom. And Maki was probably more interested in where it was going from here, not what it used to be. Which was fair…

Dr. Mariah tried not to rely on the tasting of emotions too much, when it came to her therapy sessions. Someone feeling something strongly didn’t necessarily mean they were ready to talk about whatever had set off the scent… but the bitter, acidic taste radiating off of Kaito right now was particularly foul.

“Kaito?” she said, glancing at him, “Raising a child in a culture unlike your own is a trial for anyone. Did you have any thoughts on that? Any concerns?”

Kaito glanced up, surprised. He supposed it must have shown on his face…

“... sometimes, I uh…” Kaito shrugged, popping his joints, “...sometimes I wonder how I’m going to explain the family situation to her… Mine. I mean.”

“...Hm.” Shuichi sighed, sitting up a little straighter, sipping some more tea, “I wonder if it’s the sort of thing that’ll show up in her school textbooks someday? I doubt Dicea keeps track of Luminary history, but considering it happened alongside a big war with them? It could be something the schools end up teaching her.”

“That’s a terrible way of looking at it.” Maki said dryly, looking to Shuichi with an openly disapproving look, “She should learn about the war through us long before she’s taught it in a classroom.”

“Oh, I mean, yes, obviously. That’s not what I was implying. I was just wondering, eventually, how others will end up teaching it to her.” Shuichi explained, adjusting the brim of his cap, “Xenophobic or not, however you want to classify it, Luminary and the Momota name isn’t coming out of that looking ‘positive’. We should keep that in mind when it’s time to explain things to her. We don’t want to say things that will confuse or embarrass her, when it comes time to explaining it to other people who will ask her about it.”

“...yeah, that’s gonna happen, huh…” Kaito murmured. Of course people will ask Miyako about the war and the regicide and all of that someday. Her family had lived it, she’d grow up hearing stories about it. People would be curious… that was literally just a matter of time.

They had talked a little bit about culture. Kokichi’s horrible leaps about teaching Miya combat and the parade thing. And that Miyako would be raised Atuan. But...much more than that was just...Kokichi couldn’t tell if it was them taking for granted what was cultural, or just not wanting to talk about it. 

And, of course, there would be the ‘history’ that was closer to home than it’d be for anyone else in Dicea. 

Pursing his lips, Kokichi let out a small, concerned hum. “...I’m not sure how quickly it’d make it into books, but...I mean, people are aware that there was a civil war, and that there’s a change in leadership… I’m not sure how much people would be interested in finding out the details in the first place, let alone to talk about them with people, outside of, like, sociology and current event papers…”

But she would end up hearing about it from other people, and likely in an off-hand way. 

...but just explaining the family situation… Kokichi sighed and crossed his legs in front of him, tapping on his cheek a bit. “...it seems a bit irresponsible to just tell her who your family members are and leave it at that, huh. Since she’d hear about the war inevitably. But saying that your brother and your cousin were on different sides, and that your brother moved to Novoselic when Kaede won is...hm.”

“Yeah, and what happened to her grandparents.” Shuichi said darkly. “All of them.”

Kaito clapped his hands together, eyes suddenly bright, saying a tad too loudly, “Okay, new plan! We tell her… uh… we tell her all about Atua and the trials first, that all of her grandparents are fine and dealing with the trials, and, uh, and then eventually we mention… uh… um… the important thing is to first establish that… they’re technically… fine and… uh...”

Kaito trailed off, looking increasingly lost and uncertain.

Dr. Mariah gave him a moment to recapture his thoughts, but as he continued to flounder, “...Kokichi, Shuichi, Maki? You’ve all had a similar experience to what Miya’s going to eventually go through. What was it like when someone first explained to you what happened to your parents?”

Maki and Shuichi glanced at each other.

“... I don’t know if I can remember anyone explaining anything to me about it.” Maki said, “I knew they were dead my whole life, but I can’t remember someone sitting down and explaining that concept to me. Death was just… always around and a thing. It wasn’t until I was twelve that Shuichi and I looked into it more and found and documentation as to what actually happened to them, and there wasn’t much there either. Official records don't list a father for me, and my mother died from some sort of sickness. I think I have extended family out there somewhere, but apparently no one willing to take in a baby, so… fuck them.”

“I would ask my mentor about my parents for years after being assigned to her.” Shuichi recalled, “Them and my uncle. I think he was my uncle, anyway… I remember he told the guardforce that. My mentor would always tell me they passed away in a house fire. I think she was hoping if she said it often and early enough, I’d forget what happened and let it go. But I remembered guards showing up to our house and taking everyone away. Finally, Maki and I went to go steal the sealed records, and I found out my parents were part of a treason conspiracy, some political group constantly trying to undermine the current government structure any way they could, stealing, blackmailing, destruction of property, murders… I don’t know what specific role my parents played, but they got ratted out when a member of their group was caught and imprisoned, and the guards raided our home. My mother didn’t survive the raid and my father was executed. And I don’t have an uncle, so… no idea who that third person was. Just some guy lying to the guards, I guess.”

“Your parents were cool. Your uncle was a lying piece of shit who abandoned you.” Maki said, her tone soothing, like she was just reinforcing something Shuichi said to comfort himself. “Fuck him too.”

“My parents weren’t cool.” Shuichi said dryly, glaring at Maki regardless, “They should have been rebels on their own time. Why have a kid at all if you were taking such huge risks like that? Especially since they clearly didn’t have a backup plan for me. They were stupid.”

Maki frowned at that… before sighing. “Yeah. Fuck them too.”

“...I feel like the answer we’re getting too is to tell Miyako to tell her grandparents to fuck off.” Kaito said.

“I’m not against the idea.” Shuichi piped up.

...that was a lot of heavy stuff to tell a child. Children were capable of experiencing and processing tragedy, and they really didn’t need to see the world censored until some arbitrary age, or until they found out themselves, usually in a traumatic way all by itself. But there were ways of making the information easier to swallow, and being open to questions and forthcoming with answers, giving a kid not a distilled version of the world, but a safe entry. 

Kokichi...didn’t exactly feel comfortable encouraging Miyako to be dismissive of people, but...well, Maki and Shuuichi’s parents were their parents, and they were allowed to feel however they felt about them. And...if scoffing on their memories made it easier to cope, then...that was how they coped, and Miya had no obligation to respect them in particular. 

Looking a little uncertain, Kokichi spoke up after a moment of silence. “...um. Well… I don’t really remember how or who told me that my mom died. Looking back it was just...a mish-mash of not really thinking about the concept of a mom at all, and then just kind of knowing that she was dead.”

“...but I do remember when my d - Ikuo told me what happened to her. I dunno if that would be...helpful, though.”

“I don’t see how it could be unhelpful.” Maki pointed out, “Not to be cruel about it, Kokichi, but there’s not a small amount of similarities, if we’re talking specifically Kaito’s parents, not to mention we’ll have to tell her about what happened to your mother as well someday.”

“It might even actually matter more to her, what happened to her name-sake grandmother, then what happened to the Momotas.” Shuichi theorized, “Leon and Sayaka’s killer--”

“Shuichi.” Kaito said tightly, a warning in his voice.

“... the bad things that happened to the Momotas were all done by… ‘someone’,” Shuichi said dryly, “Far away and that Miyako will probably personally never meet, in a place she’s only theoretically connected to.”

None of that made Kaito look any more comfortable, and in fact his shoulders dipped significantly, looking crestfallen.

“But what happened to Queen Miyako happened right around here, by people living in groups and places that Miya’s going to be familiar with and trust. Not to mention there’s a massive portrait of her namesake in the observatory, and she’ll also likely never see Kaito and my parents images at all. Miyako, growing up in Dicea, named after the queen in question? Will have every reason to care about and empathise more with Kokichi’s mother. It’ll be important to explain that to her in a way that won’t frighten or upset her. If yours went well, Kokichi, we should do it the same way. If it went poorly? We should know it just to avoid repeating the mistake.”

...after a moment, Kokichi’s lips tightened against each other. “...I agree that she might feel more curious about and connected to my mother, and we should tell her about her. But that wasn’t the question. As for your parents and Kai-chan’s parents...if you’ve already decided not to treat the subject with consideration, then that’s something we have to agree on. Because explaining it three different ways is just going to confuse her, and will more likely occur to her as one of us being “right” about reality, rather than we all feel different ways about it.”

“...and it’s really ignorant to assume that the world will always be isolated,” Kokichi continued, not particularly feeling brave in this moment, but he continued to speak his mind, feeling that he needed to. “The way we grew up, it makes a lot of sense to think that someone in one country would know next to nothing about another. That’s literally what happened, and we can’t even blame it on the war.”

“But the world is opening up. Technology is advancing, and international trade is only going to become more involved and complex as time goes on. Instead of waiting for months for a letter to maybe make it across the continent, people can be talking directly together in a matter of minutes. New roads are being built, making travel easier--not to mention that policy, at least between Luminary and Dicea, is supporting that--and there are people looking at methods of transport that could knock days off travel.”

Kokichi curled his fists in his lap, a heavy bundle of nerves in his chest. “Miya might never meet her extended family. But we have no idea what the future is going to look like, or the people she might meet. Denying even the possibility, and not giving what we have to prepare her can only sabotage her.”

“...” Shuichi frowned, giving Kokichi a strange look, “...sure, but even if communication is possible, doesn’t mean it’s advisable--”

Dr. Mariah put her hand up. A quiet, thoughtful expression on her face, having been watching this exchange with an inquisitive eye, not speaking up as she gathered more information. Quietly, she lowered her hand, the group watching her as she tilted her head slightly, her black hair cascading over her shoulders as she closed her eyes and considered things…

“...Hm.” She opened her red eyes, looking at them with something surprisingly soft in them, “This might be a crisis.”

“... a crisis?” Maki asked, sounding incredulous. Clearly she and this tiny therapist woman had different ideas of what that word meant. “Is something alarming? Are you okay?” She asked, giving the woman the benefit of the doubt. Who knows, maybe she was having a heart attack, Maki couldn’t know for certain.

Dr. Mariah tasted the sarcasm and condensation radiating off of Maki and smirked at her. “A ‘relationship communication’ crisis. There’s a serious divide in this group, and I’m humbled to say I wasn’t aware of it until just now. And it’s a serious one.”

“... uh…” Kaito looked uneasily around, “...so, the crisis is…”

“Sorry, I’m not trying to be dramatic. I actually feel like this might need to be handled with some care, so I’m just thinking about what I should say before I do so. Apologies for the theatrics, Kaito.” Dr. Mariah said sincerely, tapping at her knee.

“...Shuichi, Maki?” Dr. Mariah finally decided, “I have a feeling that informing you that you hate Kaito’s family won’t be shocking. Are you aware how often you punish him for it?”

“I’m not punishing anyone-”

“What did I say? It was just the-”

“Uuuuhhhh, that’s maybe harsher sounding than it is-”

That could be true too, but...just giving Miyako no preparation wasn’t something Kokichi was okay with. The only time she might see Luminary would be when she gave up her claim, and while Kokichi didn’t know the process for that at all, there was probably a good chance that she’d meet Kaede. Kokichi figured it would be reasonable that Kaede would at least offer to house them during their stay. So, for necessity, that was an explanation about who first cousin once removed Kaede was, and at least a base level understanding of Luminous culture, though it might be shifting. 

But that was the bare minimum. They had no way to tell if in five, ten, fifteen years it would be common place for not just businesses, but households to have phone lines, and if it would become common for people to not just set up meetings to talk, but would do it casually. They had no way to tell if down the line taking a school-break trip to another country would be a casual thing to do. They had no way to tell if Miyako would get curious about her extended family, about who they were and what they did and why their circumstances were the way they were.

And even if those things didn’t happen? Kokichi wanted to give Miyako far more than the absolute necessity of what she would need in life. And stifling her understanding or just keeping things to themselves because of personal opinions was...well, why Diceans and Luminaries, on the whole, knew nothing about each other. And...from ignorance, hatred and fear was primed to grow.

Kokichi gave Dr. Mariah an uncertain look as she stopped Shuuichi from going any further, and it was kind of obvious that she could pick up this difference of ideology, but… What she explained was...taking a few steps back in the cascade. 

Worrying his fingers together, Kokichi chewed on his lip, still not finding even a gram of bravery, as his three friends backpedaled from the statement. “...I mean...we all know that Kai-chan doesn’t like it when people, even us, talk down about his family in front of him. And...you guys kinda do it every time Luminary gets brought up. ...and you just kinda roll your eyes and talk around it when Kai-chan tells you that he doesn’t like it...every time.”

There was a heated silence, Shuichi’s mood growing more sour with every second, Maki’s eyes narrowing. Kaito looked between both of them, one of his knees bobbing up and down rapidly as he tapped at his heels, before saying, “Okay, yes, it bothers me, but they’re not doing it on… you know, we should hear the story about Kokichi hearing about his mother! That seemed important! Like, this feels like a distraction.”

“Both things are important, but this feels like it could result in a more difficult fight, sooner.” Dr. Mariah explained, sighing, “Kaito, we’ve discussed this before. You’re holding onto habits in your relationships from back when the power dynamic was insurmountably on your side. Giving up agency or power or defense on their behalf doesn’t put you on equal footing anymore, because you’re now already on equal footing.”

“...I mean, I’m a prince-”

“That means almost nothing, in this kingdom.” Dr. Mariah said, not unkindly, “Lessening yourself here for the benefit of others does not make you equal. It makes you lesser. You’re not doing anyone any favors by covering for abuses and hurt feelings.”

“Those are overly harsh words.” Kaito practically growled, suddenly looking pissed, “Stop using that word. I’m so sick of that word.”

Dr. Mariah sighed, “Kaito… you’re a very proud person. You’re a proud person among proud people. And I can understand why these accusations bothers someone like you. But I can’t in good faith banish a word that important, not for you, not in sessions like these. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not trying to punish Kaito… but I can’t just pretend like his parents weren’t terrible people, killed by an equally terrible person.” Shuichi said, looking stern, “Miyako’s going to learn someday everything that happened, and us candy-coating it is just going to make us seem sympathetic to them, which the last thing I want is anyone thinking I want to defend--”

“...Ah, dammit.” Maki cursed. “I’m doing it again.”

Maki’s eyes were still narrowed, a frustrated heat radiating off of her… but the look on her face wasn’t pointed at anyone. She was just glaring vaguely off the roof, her brow furrowed, her shoulders tense… before huffing, puffing her cheek out as she said, “Dammit… this is becoming a terrible habit… I even told Kokichi I was doing this again when I first got back… ugh.”

It was never a great feeling, admitting that you had been hurt, but it was an essential step towards healing. Of course Kokichi knew why Kaito hated people pointing out that he had been terribly hurt--for a long time, he had wanted to protect the people that hurt him, and he had wanted to ignore that the hurt ever happened, and, like Dr. Mariah pointed out, Kaito had a lot of pride and hated the thought that he had been “weak” or taken advantage of… But that was what happened. And growth generally came from facing yourself. 

Shuuichi on the other hand...that was why it had been difficult. Shuuichi had all the rights in the world to spit poison on the Momota family. To be vocal about how horrible they were. But having decorum to how you explained something was different from candy-coating, and...it seemed like Shuuichi was too hurt to see or care about that distinction, both when it came to his poison hurting Kaito too, and for how they would influence their daughter. 

Not being actively hateful wasn’t the same as defending someone and...it was honestly a little frustrating that Shuuichi couldn’t see that. Even if Kokichi knew why. 

As Maki interrupted Shuuichi, however, Kokichi looked at her in confusion, not quite grasping her frustration until… Ah… At least Maki was willing to admit that it was punishing. 

Giving her a kind, gentle look, Kokichi prompted, “...have you and Kai-chan talked about it? Now would be a good time to bring it up, if not.”

“No, we haven't talked about it… ugh, that’s so frustrating.” Maki sighed, running her hand through her hair.

“Take your time, Maki.” Dr. Mariah said gently, curious what Maki would offer. It wasn’t often that the other woman prepped her own navel gazing…

“...” Maki collected her thoughts, increasingly frustrated, the heat building around her… and then she let out a breath, and the heat dispersed, cooling. “Well, if I’m going to talk about this, I might as well do it right. I have to apologize to Shuichi as well. For his house arrest.”

“You’ve already apologized to me for that.” Shuichi said tiredly.

“Not for the actions, for the intentions. I didn’t realize I was doing it at the time, but I realized later that I may have been making the experience more stressful than it needed to be, on purpose.” Maki said simply, “Seiko pointed it out to me. She pointed it out to me, because I was currently in the middle of doing the same thing to Kaito. Like I said… this is becoming a habit. And it’s pathetic.”

“... wait, I’m lost. What?” Kaito asked, giving Maki a confused look, “When did you do the same to me?”

“When you were detoxing off the pollen, locked up in the medward for a little over a week?” Maki said, giving Kaito a frustrated look, “I was… arguing very strongly, that you needed to spend more time locked up. And had actually succeeded several times already in getting your time in there extended.”

“...oh.” Kaito murmured.

“I thought I was helping. You seemed emotionally unstable, you were… crying a lot and seemed really erratic,” Maki’s eyes narrowed… before she huffed, “And Seiko pointed out that the process of being locked up and isolated could also be causing those symptoms and that keeping him there would only make the symptoms worse, and.. I kept talking and realized that eventually I had started making the argument that everyone else needed time away from Kaito to recover and… realized I was just playing out my own imprisonment of him. It was a punishment, not helpful.”

“And, I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again.” Maki sighed, “But, as soon as I came back? I’ve been… struggling. With how I interact with Kaito. And I realized early on, speaking with Kokichi, that I was acting in ways that specifically was pissing Kaito off, without letting him feel comfortable calling me out on it. Asking him for help and then harassing and antagonizing him…”

“It’s spineless. And weak. I keep taking advantage of you both when you’re at your lowest.” Maki frowned, “And I’m better than that. I’m not afraid of confrontation. I don’t need to tie your hands before I beat you.”

“A worrying metaphor, but I understand your point.” Dr. Mariah smirked.

That clump of nerves in Kokichi’s chest had only grown and writhed as this conversation had gone on, but as Maki found the words she wanted to say, Kokichi was able to focus on a different sensation in his body. A warm sense of pride. 

It was insanely difficult to be non-partisan. To not let your biases affect your judgement. That was why Kokichi was so invested in how they would try to explain things to Miyako--no matter what, she would absorb the opinions they presented and, most likely, they would simply become her opinions. The ability to act upon critical thought, and the process of coming to know who you were as a person, while encouraged throughout school everywhere, wasn’t something that people tended to get a good grasp on until their mid-to-late teens at the earliest. 

It was what Kokichi was saying… If Kaito gave a kinder view of his brother and his parents, while Shuuichi was as chillingly critical as usual...Miyako would end up choosing a parent to side with, while viewing the other as “not being correct”. Rather than the truth of that while Kaito’s family were people who had done great harm to others, Kaito still valued them...and Kokichi’s own view to it all, wherein that opinions on the dead didn’t matter to the dead, but mattered a whole hell of a lot to the living. That was why it was the people who cried when angels deserved to die, as the poem went.

But. Maki. 

She could be callously blunt, and almost non-understanding at times when it came to realizing that not everyone acted upon utilitarian modes of emotion and action, but Maki wasn’t unaware of herself. And while sometimes realization took a moment to be accepted, she didn’t tend to leave it be. And Kokichi could be very proud of her for that. 

Extrapolating her apologies to when she had interjected, Kokichi gave his friend a curious look. “...so...do you feel like getting into your dislike for Kai-chan’s family while he’s around is that kind of punishment? Or was this something that came to mind separately?”

“It’s basically the same.” Maki said, waving her hand indistinctly, “And I don’t even think it’s me really bringing it up all that often. No, it’s more… I support Shuichi when he does it, even though I don’t agree with him.”

“Wait.” Shuichi said, eyes widening, “What?”

“...what?” Kaito asked, giving Maki an equally baffled look.

“You can’t possibly… Maki, you literally went to war to fight off specifically Byakuya.” Shuichi said, glaring at her, “You spent years ranting to me all the ways you theoretically would kill Kaito’s family--”

“Ngh.” Kaito grumbled.

“--and the year before we got here ranting literally about how you’d do it. You got my help planning! We looked over so many blueprints!”

“I hate everything.” Kaito grumbled further.

“I had a goal, Shuichi.” Maki said, “For good reasons. That I pursued and followed through to the end, and don’t regret… but Miyako is not a part of any of that. And, honestly, Kaito barely is either. The reigning Momota family has been changed over. It’s done now, I won. We won. Raising Miyako to hate the family I’ve already defeated, and constantly reminding Kaito of his family’s failings doesn’t solidify that goal or help with anything else, beyond maybe convincing both of them not to repeat their families mistakes, but that’s not really an option for either of them. I’ve very effectively taken all their potential power out of their hands in a way they’ll likely never truly recover-”

“Dr. Mariah, do you carry… alcohol?” Kaito asked, looking around, like booze would just ‘appear’.

“So insisting on it only accomplishes punishing them for what their family did… and Kaito really doesn’t deserve it, and Miyako definitely doesn’t deserve it.” Maki said. “And I only let Shuichi get away with it because… a part of me does get satisfied, when I watch that knowledge hurt him. Which isn’t fair. It’s cruel.”

“We don’t have alcohol here, Kaito, but… this is an important conversation for your friends to have.” Dr. Mariah said gently, looking at Kaito’s exasperated, tired expression, “It’s important to understand our motivation. They’re very often not what we think they are.”

While he didn’t verbalize it, Kokichi gave Maki a bewildered expression along with the rest of his family. But as Shuuichi started giving counter-examples...Kokichi thought he knew what she meant. Utilitarian indeed...at least when it came to her own instigation. 

Maki had been hurt badly by the Momotas, and not just by the accumulation of the family’s power over time. She had been directly hurt by Byakuya and Leon, and while Kokichi had mostly heard stories of how awful Sayaka had been to Shuuichi, he didn’t think it was out of the question that she’d hurt Maki too. What they did to her, and the impact they had on the people Maki loved was her burning motivation for waging war against them. 

But now that they couldn’t hurt anyone any more, at least on a grand scale when it came to Byakuya… Sure, there was some personal satisfaction to get from spitting on their names. But in the most detached sense...it was wasted energy. And by far hurt Kaito more. 

Which...Maki had gotten satisfaction out of too. 

Not...a great thing to hear from one of your closest friends.

Kokichi gave his husband a gently apologetic look. Kaito hadn’t deserved any of it...but as painful as it was to hear it pointed out now...like he said. It was step one to changing things.

“Uh huh…” Kaito leaned his head against his hand, leaning his elbow against his knees as he stared tiredly at his friends, “...you guys are bummer sometimes. You know that right?”

“I’ve carried your child for nine months.”

“I still love you. But you’re a bummer.” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a distinctly unimpressed look. “...why does it make you feel good to hurt me? I don’t feel good when I see you guys hurt.”

“Well, great, you’re so nice then, Kaito.” Shuichi said, glaring at him, something genuinely ugly on his face… before his face fell. “Sorry, wait… that came out harsher than I meant to... and was also a stupid point. Obviously… it’s a good thing that seeing us unhappy doesn’t make you happy. And… seeing you unhappy doesn’t make me happy. It doesn’t.”

“Your actions contradict your belief, Shuichi.” Dr. Mariah pointed out.

“No, or… no, I know seeing Kaito unhappy doesn’t make me happy. I never feel ‘good’, seeing Kaito hurt, not like that… I’m certain of it.” Shuichi argued, brushing his hair out of his face a little, “...because I know what it feels like, when… uh…” Shuichi glanced at Dr. Mariah a little uneasily, his face reddening slightly, “I know what it feels like when I do that. It’s not the same feeling. Seeing you actually hurt? Hurts me.”

“I know you believe what you’re saying.” Dr. Mariah said, because she could taste it, “But again… your actions-”

“I know, I know, just…” Shuichi, briefly, took his hat off, running his hand through his hair and getting some air against him, “... I don’t know why I do it…”

Kokichi sent Shuuichi an alarmed look, but even as he back-tracked...something just didn’t sit right. It wasn’t just that Shuuichi was a vindictive person who could be cruel. He definitely could be, and Shuuichi got a huge amount of satisfaction over being the “smartest” person in a room, to be “right” when others got the “wrong” answer. But it was never to the point of leading others astray just to claim that spot, and while Shuuichi could tease, he usually wasn’t malicious. 

Except for, of course, rubbing in how awful Kaito’s family was, but even that wasn’t exactly malicious. 

...but even saying that seeing Kaito “actually” hurt was bad… As if this pain didn’t mean anything… Sure, Shuuichi tended to be wholly dismissive on the subject of what Kokichi started classifying as “rich people pain” but…

Kokichi blinked wide. Rich people pain. The richest person’s pain, who Shuuichi admitted to on several occasions having daydreams of revenge scenarios…

“Shuu-chan?” Kokichi gently asked, though there wasn’t timidness in his voice. “When you talk shit about Kai-chan’s family...it’s the same thing as your revenge daydreams about Sayaka, isn’t it?”

The immediate look on Shuichi’s face was incredulous. Even slightly offended. And he opened his mouth immediately to tell Kokichi, no, obviously not…

… and then his brow furrowed, and he raised his finger, about to go into an extended speech about, no, obviously not…

… and then he dropped his pointer finger, and though he still looked a little angry and confused, he said, “Huh.”

“...I’m sorry,” Kaito said, looking actually exhausted, “I’m lost again. What are we talking about now?”

“I’m actually not sure.” Maki admitted, watching Shuichi fume, opening his mouth to argue, then stopping, opening his mouth to argue, stopping, “...I guess this is what Shuichi looks like when he has a revelation?”

“It’s kinda funny looking,” Kaito said gently, his boyfriend now stuck in the loop, “At least my boyfriends cute when he’s admitting to casually, constantly punishing me. It could be worse.”

“Your standards are actually pretty woefully low.” Maki said gently, “We all really need to hold each other to higher standards.”

“I like you guys a lot.” Kaito said, blinking tiredly, “But sometimes you suuuuuuck.”

“Well… yeah. But so do you, sometimes.”

“...yeah.” Kaito sighed. “Shuichi? Handsome? Just, whenever you’re ready, if you could clue us in to whatever’s going on with you?”

“...am I really trying to piss off a dead woman?” Shuichi finally managed to get out, “What am I hoping for? That her ghost is watching us and just fuming?”

“If we start talking about ghosts, I’ll be honest, I’m walking out of this session and going to a bar.” Kaito warned.

“... I’m actually a little genuinely mad at myself.” Shuichi admitted, “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I really, really don’t think it’s a wise idea to not be honest with each other about how bad the Momotas were, or Miya either. It’s something we need to be able to talk about… but…”

“...Queen Sayaka would hate everything you’ve become, Kaito,” Shuichi said, his golden eyes staring at Kaito through the shadow of his hat, cold and intense, “Your life, your status… she’d even hate the outfit you’re wearing right now, and where you’re wearing it. You know that, right?”

“... okay. You know what.” Kaito said, standing up, “Fuck off. Fuck you. I’m taking a break. Going for a walk. Fuck off. We’re all fucking off now! Okay? I’ll be back! I still love you! Fuck you!” Kaito shouted over his shoulder, heading down the stairs, shouting up from them before the door closed behind him, “I’ll bring back water! Fuck you!”

“...Well, nows a good time for a break. Let’s take five, and if he’s not back by then I’ll go looking for him.” Dr. Mariah said.

He’d hit the nail on the head, then. Kokichi was pretty damn sure, which was why he’d phrased it as a leading question--oops, there was a reason he’d never tried to be a lawyer--but he was willing to take the L and be called out if he’d misread it. But...apparently not. 

Shuuichi was more than capable of seeing his own irrationality, but...out of all of them, Kokichi would say that Shuuichi was the most prideful. 

Kokichi had an even stare on his boyfriend as Shuuichi came to grips about what he’d been doing. And...to a point, he agreed. It wasn’t helpful to just murmur around the subject and say that Kaito’s family were just people who made mistakes. It diminished the very real and very harmful effects they had on not just Shuuichi and Maki, but Kaito’s life too. But they could approach talking about them with tact and explain as much as they could. And when it was too painful for Kaito, they could back off. 

It was with a worried, pained look that Kokichi watched Kaito go, but...he needed space. Sighing, Kokichi leaned back. “...you really had to go for his fashion too, huh?”

“I was… trying to let him understand what I was talking about, but… that was maybe not the way to word it.” Shuichi admitted, looking more than a little guilty. “...I’m not doing it on purpose.”

“It’s why we have to discuss these things and really try to understand what we’re doing and why we’re doing it.” Dr. Mariah told Shuichi gently, “Recognizing our ugly, subconscious habits is just a part of the process, and an important part. But, let’s take these five minutes, okay? The more stressed and frustrated we get, the more aggressive our word and actions become. It pays to take steps to calm ourselves down, and if we can’t, wear ourselves out.”

“... I feel like you added in that last part specifically to justify the dancing advice.” Maki said.

“People are multifaceted and the exceptions prove the rules.” Dr. Mariah said sagely. 

Time went by… three minutes. Four minutes. Five…

“Actually,” Dr. Mariah said, looking at her fish, “Kokichi? Perhaps you should fetch Kaito. He might appreciate a loved one coming to fetch him. He’s still downstairs. Try the aquarium.”

The thing was...Kokichi had a feeling Kaito already knew what Shuuichi was talking about. And really didn’t need another person to tell him too. 

(...how Kokichi felt about it himself was...complicated. From what Kaito had told him about social structures and expectations, Kokichi knew that what he and what Sayaka considered admirable was completely different. And that was okay, in terms of personal theory. 

But still...there was a tiny part of him that was offended. A larger part that would defiantly stand up to anyone thinking Kaito wasn’t living an admirable life, and...a smaller part that was offended that anyone would look at Dicean society and hate it. But...there was nothing to do about that.)

Perking up, Kokichi nodded quietly when Dr. Mariah effectively volunteered him to go find Kaito. Quietly padding down the stairs, Kokichi turned down the hallway to peek into Dr. Mariah’s regular office, seeing if her guess was right.

Kaito had been sincere about the water. He had a little platter set up, with five new cups of water, because he had been running on auto-pilot and he hadn’t thought about just getting a new pitcher filled for the cups they already had. 

The waters were resting on the floor next to him while Kaito sat, leaning against the coffee table in the center of the room, resting his arms around his knees as he watched the fish. Having just come in to look at them for a moment, but…

Kokichi sighed softly. 

...it really sucked. The position Kaito was in really sucked. 

Silently walking over, Kokichi sat himself down next to Kaito, ever so gently brushing their arms together, trying to gauge if Kaito was open to touch. 

“...could you tell me something you’d wanna share with Miya? About your parents or your brother, or Luminary in general? Just...something small.”

Kaito glanced down at Kokichi, not having expected him, but not really surprised to see him either. He didn’t mind the slight brush against him, but it wasn’t long before his eyes went back to watching the fish.

“... we have all these old statues just kind of littered around the place.” Kaito said softly, “Really old statues. But they’re always small. Maybe the biggest one is your size, Kokichi. They’re always a little broken, sometimes they’re so worn down from the heat and the sand and age that you can’t even really tell what it was supposed to be a statue of originally. You can find them just sitting in the spaces between buildings, back alleys and random lots. You can even find them inside of buildings too, homes and office buildings, the castle. We just… built around them as time went on. No one really feels okay breaking them.”

“My tutors said the statues are older than the oligarchy period of our history, and there’s no official reason the statues are there, but my priestess’s said that they believed that the statues were old shrines to the pantheon. But the thing is, even just around the capital, there’s hundreds of them, chiseled into walls, grown into trees. I found one once that was almost entirely buried in the roots of a tree, as big as my fist, and they all look a little different. Frog faces or big, swirling eyes, beautiful women dancing with long, bird like wings on their backs, a really fat, happy looking guy with ears that went all the way down to his stomach… if they really were shrines to old gods, then there must have been hundreds of them, all nestled away and hidden within the city…”

Kaito watched the fish swim, and smiled a little, “My mom showed me one in the bell tower once. It was big, the size of Chase. Kinda looked like a dog too, but with wings and a bulbous, angry face, with big teeth. I think she was actually showing me the bell, I don’t really remember but I think I asked her where the bell sound always came from when the hours changed, and she took me up to see, but I got really nervous when I saw the statue. I guess it scared me… she said that if you sang to the statues, then you’d be entirely safe, because the statues loved singing, and wouldn’t harm you if they loved you. And I think she used to sing this song to me all the time, it’s a Novoselic song, but that was the first time she really, like, taught it to me, ya know? So I could sing it at the statue and it wouldn’t hurt me… she had a really pretty singing voice. My mom could have been a professional. She could hit this high note that was like… don’t even know how to describe it. It was really gentle…”

Kaito watched the fish for awhile… before sighing. Burying his head in his arms. “...I know that doesn’t make up for anything.”

Kokichi had an alternate purpose in asking, but the thing that Kaito brought up was… “Whoa…” 

Eyes growing wide with awe and wonder as Kaito talked about the statues, Kokichi started painting a picture in his head, filling the colorful landscape of Luminary with all manner of hidden wonder. Hundreds and hundreds of ancient statues, all different, withstanding the test of time if not in detail, then just to exist, which was still incredible…

And paired with a sweet, humanizing moment. Kaito getting a moment with his mom with her actually being a mom. 

“We’ve got to go exploring and see some statues when we go visit,” Kokichi murmured. “I can’t even imagine how incredible that is, to have that sort of history just...everywhere. And...I think you should sing that song to Miya, too. Pass it down like your mom did for you.”

Kokichi put a gentle hand on Kaito’s back, slowly rubbing up and down. His expression sympathetic. “...it doesn’t erase the other things she did. But...it adds something new. And...I think that perspective you have is really important to give Miya too. It’s not candy-coating. You telling stories about the nice memories you have of your family and your home is just as real as the problems other people will talk about. And I want our daughter to be able to see what’s real...even if it takes her a bit to get there.”

Kaito nodded, like he understood… but immediately followed that up with, “I just… one day she’s going to know, you know? She’s gonna know how bad it was. How bad they are. Were. How bad they were… and… who knows what else she’ll find out. Sometimes I wonder what Tim… there are thing about me that I don’t want him to know that he might? And I can’t ask him if he knows because that would mean clueing him in and…”

“And what am I going to do about Byakuya? I…I don’t know what to do. It fucking… killed me, hearing about all the people you had to forgive, growing up, who tried to hurt you, and what? I’m supposed to tell Miya, hey, here’s your Uncle Byakuya, h-he’s, ya know, he’s your uncle, and… and he… b-but dad still… I literally can’t even introduce her to any of my living family without sending some shitty message to her about... hey, it’s okay if he… if he maybe hurt some of our loved ones, that’s fine, and Kaede! Kaede too! Hey, it’s fine that she…”

“But I don’t… want to just be the ugliest thing in her world… dad with the bad relatives and the bad history from the bad place… bad childhood and… but there’s no escaping it. There’s no… someone’s going to tell her. And I just… it makes me so fucking sick, how happy people are going to be, when she hates them. It’s going to be such a fucking victory for them, when she denounces my family and what they did and they’re just gonna be… cheering it on. Look. Look at how ashamed of them she is. Isn’t that… great… isn’t that satisfying?”

“And it’ll still be the right thing.” Kaito said tiredly, “It’ll be the best thing for her. That’s what eats me up inside. She’s gonna hate them, people are gonna be thrilled to hear it, and that’s going to be good. And there’s nothing I can do to change it.”

Kokichi frowned, a few things popping up in his mind to say, but he let Kaito get his thoughts out. And while there were still things he wanted to touch on...there was a major thing that Kokichi was glad he didn’t interrupt before. 

“...I don’t think it would be good,” he quietly contested, brows furrowed. “I don’t want her to hate them. And I certainly wouldn’t count it as a win if, if, she grew to hate them.”

“...so what if Miya and Tim find out what happened? The things your family had a hand in, and the things that they instigated themselves. It happened...the past won’t change.” Kokichi sighed softly. “...it’ll mean difficult conversations. Them asking why things happened, why people did certain things, and we won’t always have answers. Sometimes the answers will suck. But it happened, and you can’t hide from reality.”

A macabre expression crossed over Kokichi’s face. “I tried, and it sucked even worse.”

“But what we can do is give them the full truth. The things that books won’t write, and the things that so-called realists always forget. And that’s the thing that can make a difference, when it comes time for Miya to forge her own opinion about your family. And she’s going to have dozens of different opinions over the years, as she figures out who she is as a person.”

Kokichi nudged Kaito’s side gently. “There were bad things your family did. But you uniquely have the chance to show Miya more sides to them. To flesh them out as people, and not as caricatures, not as a list of actions. Tell her about the statues. About your mother’s songs, and how wonderfully she sang, and how she used to run her fingers through your hair.”

“Miya might come to the conclusion that she wouldn’t have liked your parents. She might be glad we don’t see Byakuya or Kaede often. But she will have made those judgments knowing the whole story, and she won’t hate. She might be angry, she might feel vindictive, but she won’t hate. Because, because of you, she will have the chance to know them as people, and not just the products of their actions.”

“Yeah… yeah.” Kaito said softly, leaning against Kokichi a little, fussing with his joints before deciding to reach for Kokichi’s hand… and then fuss a little with his joints, idly rubbing his thumbs up and down the top part of Kokichi’s wrist, like he was soothing his husband, instead of the other way around. Kaito thought Kokichi had pretty hands. Even if his nails really did look kinda… mangled. At their ends. At least on his right hand. Little signs of stress or boredom, Kokichi worrying his nails…

“... I guess I’ve kinda just accepted that talking about my family is gonna be a sort of hard conversation, when Miya’s finally old enough to ask the right questions. It stresses me out to think about, and I know some of those conversations are going to hurt, but… I can live with it, ya know? I can tell her about the good and the bad stuff, like you said…” Kaito’s brow furrowed, before he sighed, raising Kokichi’s hand to rub his forehead against the back of it, stealing the comfort he could from it, “...I just don’t want Tim or Miya to ever find out about the… about the conditioning stuff. And the lessons. I know its not far, because Maki and Shuichi’s is public knowledge, anyone can know it. But I’m… embarrassed. I don’t want my kids to know stuff like that happened to me. I wanna seem… stronger than that, I guess.”

Kokichi flexed his hand just-so, rubbing his knuckles against Kaito’s forehead. “...it is different. I’m going to be open about my mental illness with them. In part because stuff like that can be genetic but also...it’s so common for people to struggle with mental illnesses. Sure, it’s included in health check ups and you go over certain ones in school, but...sometimes it’s too easy to just push it all into a category of ‘things that happen to other people’. And if you find yourself struggling...it’s easy to feel alone or like you’re failing. I want them to be prepared and know that they can talk to me about it.”

“But...it’s also a part of me,” Kokichi hummed, leaning over to press his body against Kaito’s. “It doesn’t define me, but it’s a part of me. And even the ugly, scary things...I don’t want to hide them from the kids. I’m not going to push my trauma onto them, but...we can have conversations about it. I want them to be able to see me as a person.”

“You have the right not to tell them about that stuff. If that’s your decision, I won’t mention it either.” Kokichi pursed his lips for a moment and swiped his thumb across Kaito’s temple. “...but it doesn’t make you weak. Being hurt doesn’t mean you were weak enough to let it happen, and it doesn’t make you weak by happening. It just means you’re hurt.”

“...” Kaito nodded. Everything Kokichi was saying made sense. Hell, if Kaito was talking to someone else with the exact same issues, he’d probably say the exact same thing. What happened to his husband, what happened to Maki and Shuichi and Timothy himself, wasn’t their fault and wasn’t something they had to be ashamed of. Obviously.

...but it would take time for him to internalize that. He looked back at his life and was so… embarrassed. So ashamed of all of it. And right now, because he was in such a bad headspace, it all seemed so insurmountable. Like every bad thing that had happened to him was the only thing that had ever happened. Every mistake he had made, every time he had failed to defend himself, every time he should have just said something to literally anyone… and then the pain of the memories when he had said things to people and… why hadn’t that worked? And the pain and anger and humiliation of being looked over and abandoned and ignored--

Kaito could still barely even hint out loud that Byakuya had killed their parents. Kaito’s whole fuckng psyche reeled every time he tried to think about that. It felt like a fake thing that didn’t happen. Even after all this time, there was still a part of Kaito that was convinced his parents were still alive. He kept having to remind himself they weren’t. His parents were dead. His brother was banished. Kaede was queen. 

...and yeah. Kaito was… not living the life anyone had thought he would. That part didn’t really hurt as much, Kaito liked his life as it was right now. It really only hurt when he imagined what his family, his mother, would think if they saw what he had been reduced too. He looked down at his outfit…

“...ugh. I shouldn’t have told Shuichi to go fuck himself. Did I really do that? God I’m an idiot.” Kaito grumbled, mildly reminding himself to polish his boots later. They were getting scruffy and scraped. He didn’t have servants to do it for him anymore, if he wanted them to stay nice he had to do it himself. “...we should go back, huh? I’m eating into our time limit.”

Kokichi sighed softly and nudged Kaito’s side affectionately, though he got up and offered Kaito a hand up. “He knows he was being an asshole about it. After you left, he admitted that he hadn’t said really what he meant. And you interspersed it with an ‘I love you’ so I think it’s fine...but he probably wouldn’t mind an apology if you felt like giving one.”

“We should, but breaks are important to our therapeutic journey too. Now...we can go back and, with our heads cooled off, talk more about what we all actually mean, rather than blowing up at each other.”

Kokichi paused, looking over at the fish in the aquarium. “...at home, I think we should talk more about the things we want to tell Miya, though.”

“Nn-uuuugh, there’s always more things to taaaaalk abooouuuut.” Kaito groaned, taking Kokichi’s hand, but flopping onto his side onto the floor, pouting obnoxiously up at Kokichi for a moment, before smirking. “I’m cute sometimes, right? Makes up for all the angst and drama and stuff? Sometimes? Right?”

Kokichi snorted softly, glad to see Kaito in better spirits, even if they became bratty spirits. Squatting down so he wouldn’t be tugging on Kaito’s arm, Kokichi kissed the back of Kaito’s hand. “I must not be saying it enough if it’s in question. My Kai-chan is cute all the time.”

“Uh huh… alriiiiight, let’s do this.”

Kaito did get up this time, stretching his arms over his head, before giving the aquarium a little wave. 

When they got up to the roof, Maki and Shuichi were quietly talking to each other, before glancing at the approaching Kaito and Kokichi, Maki heading back to her seat after giving Shuichi another final word. Shuichi sighed, shifting in his seat, like he was about to stand up. “Kaito--”

“No, no, no, don’t get up.” Kaito said, letting go of Kokichi’s hand to trot over to Shuichi’s chair, leaning down to kiss at his temple as Kaito said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have cursed at you. That was shitty of me.”

“I… Kaito, I--”

“But, you were being a giant butthole So, because I love you, next time I’m pissed I’ll go with ‘butthole’. I don’t want to end up cursing at anyone in front of Miya and Tim, so~” Kaito grinned down at Shuichi, all canines, before kissing his forehead again, “You’re a butthole, handsome~”

“Okay.” Shuichi said dryly, “So you’re still mad at me?”

“Of course I’m still mad at you, you just told me you regularly upset me to piss off my dead mom.” Kaito scoffed, heading back to his chair, “That’s so shitty on so many different levels. Like… that’s so mean, handsome.”

“I can see we’re ready to get back into it.” Dr. Mariah noted, checking on her pocket watch: they still had time. “Shuichi, you were saying that you wanted to explain yourself to Kaito? The floor is yours.”

“...” Shuichi sighed, “Kaito I regularly upset you because I liked imagining how much it would piss off your mom.”

“Mmhm.” Kaito acknowledged.

“I hated her. And apparently I’m mean and petty enough that I’d want to take out that frustration I still have when I think about her on you.”

“True.” Kaito agreed.

“...okay, I can’t figure out your ‘vibe’ right now,” Shuichi said, raising an eyebrow, “Are you on the verge of rage or entirely fine?”

“I’m just waiting on that apology that I am certain is coming.” Kaito said, looking vaguely annoyed, “Just… any day now.”

Shuichi pouted… before his shoulders fell, something tired suddenly weighing heavily in his eyes, “... I’m really sorry, Kaito.”

“It’s okay, Shuichi.” Kaito said, grinning warily, “I’m not on the verge of rage. I’m fine. I’m just kinda worn down by this point.”

Mm, they should talk about cursing too. Kokichi never really tried to interfere when Maki or Kaito intervened with Tim cursing, but...well, it was a conversation to be had. Honestly, Kokichi was a fan of the ‘ask for context’ system himself but they’d see. 

They had plenty of other things a little more important to talk about first. 

Kokichi watched Kaito and Shuuichi through Shuuichi’s apology, not expecting things to blow up--Kaito had already worked off his steam, and Shuuichi was genuinely sorry for hurting Kaito--but just keeping an eye on them. 

There was an awkward pause, Kaito rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands, Shuichi watching him and frowning… “I don’t feel like you’ve actually forgiven me.”

Kaito grumbled something.

“That doesn’t help.”

“I said that… maybe…” Kaito dropped his hands, giving Shuichi a long look, “... maybe you don’t have to feel forgiven right away. Maybe I don’t have to forgive you right away. Maybe I can just take some time? Like… don’t get me wrong. I forgive you. I just still feel shitty. I think you can be both. Dr. Mariah?”

“Yes, Kaito?” The therapist asked, looking mildly amused.

“Is there some eloquent, heady way of saying that I can forgive someone and still feel shitty about it?”

“Yes.” She said, smiling, before continuing on, “It’s called ‘processing’, and it’s a natural way to feel. There’s unhealthy versions, of course, like anything. Sometimes people believe they are processing when they’re actually just in resentful denial. But if that’s not the case? Then yes, you can acknowledge that you’ve forgiven someone their mistakes, you can promise not to hold it against them and genuinely mean it, and at the same time, you can still need time to process your feelings before they all match the choices you’ve made. It’s natural to forgive someone and still, for a little while, feel sad and upset.”

“Boom. Phsychologized. Suck it.” Kaito said, making a slashing motion with both hands as he leaned back in his seat, “...still love and respect you handsome.”

Kokichi nodded slowly as he listened to Dr. Mariah explain processing. Making decisions without necessarily having your feelings match up made total sense to Kokichi--in part, it was something you had to get used to as a leader, especially if what you believed in was outvoted--and...yeah. It was just as she said. You had to make sure it was actually a process you were going through and not an endpoint. 

Stifling an amused snicker at Kaito’s dramatics...that could be a sign they were pretty much done for the day. Kokichi gave a nod to Shuuichi. “It can be a discussion later, but...we should have a talk about how we want to talk about parents and history and all that with Miya. Er...while we were talking downstairs, I mentioned that I want to be open with the kids about my mental illnesses, for example… But if you have concerns with it, I’ll hear you out, yanno?”

“What? I mean, yes, of course, but…” Shuichi raised an eyebrow, looking a little exasperated as he said, “...how do you guys end up talking about the most random things when you’re alone? You were down there for ten minutes. How did you start talking about mental illness?”

“Kokichi and I do communication speech-chess.” Kaito sighed, closing his eyes, “Unfortunately, we both suck at chess.”

“Kokichi was good at chess, when we fought those nerds on that hill.” Maki recalled.

“Darn it Maki it’s metaphorical chess, you know I meant metaphorical speed chess.”

Dr. Mariah looked around the group… glanced at her pocket watch again… and gave a slightly disappointed sigh. “I hate to do this, considering the circumstances. We still have fifteen minutes left on the clock, and I was fully ready to expand our time, if you needed it… but I can tell that some of you are at your emotional limits, today. I’m not saying there’s nothing more we can get done this session, but the odds of it being helpful by this point dwindles, every second longer that Kaito stares at the sky.”

“What? It’s a nice day. I’m allowed to wanna look at the day.” Kaito frowned, “Shuichi was asleep most of the session.”

“I’m not placing blame, Kaito. I’m just saying the energy levels of the group has gone dramatically down. It might be wise to let you all go a little early. Put some food in yourselves. Get some rest. You all already know what kind of conversations you need to have. Which, I can in fact call homework.” Dr. Mariah looked between Shuichi, Kaito and Kokichi, “You all need to sit down and start laying out some groundwork with how you all plan to raise Miyako. What you expect to be honest with her about, what you’ll agree to treat more delicately. Does that sound useful?”

Kokichi pouted. He didn’t think it was that much of a stretch from treating the subject of Kaito’s family with decorum, to listing other things that needed to be handled more carefully. Or maybe he was just a little too acclimated to the flow of subjects in a long conversation.

Not very surprised by Dr. Mariah cutting things short--if it had already felt like a marathon at the halfway mark, then going all the way was going to be a slog--even if it was going to be their last session for a while, Kokichi gave a nod at the homework she proposed. And...unlike when they’d first arrived, Kokichi felt more confident that they could make it through those conversations. 

They could do this. 

Running his fingers through the hair on the back of his head, Kokichi shrugged with a small grin. “...I actually kinda feel like I could get my own thoughts about things organized more if we write some of it down. But it’s all stuff we need to talk about anyway. I’d feel shitty to barrel into some subject with her that you guys have different opinions of, in, like, a more major way.”

“...you all really will be okay.” Dr. Mariah said softly, “I know it can all seem overwhelming. But it’s really not. You all are intelligent, capable people who love and respect each other, you have the help of people who are invested in your happiness, and most importantly, you care. You care about making this work, you care about being responsible, you care about being better people and taking care of each other and your children. I’m sure we’ll all see each other sooner than you expect, but if I can implore you to remember one thing?”

She gave them a patient smile, “Remember why you all decided this was worth it. Remember safety, duty and happiness. Remember you’ve earned these relationships, that you’ve already dedicated so much time and energy into them. Remember that this, this specific dynamic, is irreplaceable.”

“...and also remember to ask for help and take breaks and to trust each other with your feelings even when it’s alarming and you’re afraid of upsetting each other or being judged.” She added in quickly, “And if it feels really hard? That’s okay. It is. You’ll be okay anyway.”

“I believe in all of you,” Dr. Mariah smiled, “And I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”

-

The walk home was pretty peaceful, but probably because they were all tired. As promised, they picked Shuuichi up some spicy wings and mashed potatoes and from there...they kind of all split up, off to take some time to decompress after a more than eventful therapy session. Shuuichi ate his food then settled in their room to nap, Kaito went to his shrine, Maki only barely made sure they made it home safely before heading back out, and Kokichi found a nice window-side table in the library and drew for a while, keeping it to mindless doodles more than trying to make a scene. 

The rest of the afternoon passed calmly, but dinnertime, as it did for many, brought them together again. 

It was a pasta night, sauces and toppings laid out for people to choose what they were in the mood for, and while they were getting trays to eat upstairs, not wanting to try and coax Shuuichi down again, Kokichi thought the deep plate he’d fixed up for his boyfriend would go over well--thin noodles with olive oil and small bits of basil, a side of spicy dried and roasted tomatoes, and, from Kaito of course, medallions of summer squash and pickled green beans. And to Kaito’s delight, they brought a plate entirely dedicated to sweet rolls. 

As they got to their room, Kokichi settled down in one of the plush fireside chairs, digging into his wide-noodle alfredo with grilled chicken mixings. “I feel like I could eat three plates of this then sleep for a year...sheesh.”

“R-mghgf.” Kaito said through the sweet roll currently lodged in his mouth, sitting on top of the desk, rolling up his pasta into an overly large ball on his fork.

“Kaito, why are you sitting on the desk?” Shuichi finally asked, sipping at his water on the bed, leaning against the headboard and pillows. 

“‘M goi’n through a rebeliou’f phase.” Kaito said with his mouth full of food, shoving the pasta into his face. 

“I see…” Shuichi sighed, “Are you going through a rebellious phase because you’re still mad at me?”

“Yep.” Kaito said, thumping his chest as he struggled to get the food down for a second, before drinking from his water, humming through the water, “Mmmmhm.”

“Remember to breathe, hun,” Kokichi jokingly chided, though he soon shook his head in wonder. “I really don’t know how you can do that. The second I even take a slightly bigger than average bite of bread I get mad hiccups. It’s not fair, you don’t need any more advantages in a food eating contest.”

Kokichi...wasn’t really sure if he wanted to try and get into it again. Or if there was even a point to. Kaito was processing, and talking about it more wasn’t going to make his feelings soothe any faster. 

“...I never did tell you guys how I found out what happened to my mom, huh,” Kokichi softly mused.

Kaito thought the idea of a hiccuping Kokichi was adorable… and for some inexplicable reason that led to a thought of a Kokichi in the, er, ‘middle’ of things, all flushed and trying to catch his breath, but, oh no, hiccups… cute…

But Kaito’s self-indulgent daydream died as Kokichi brought up a very serious topic, and he shifted uncertainly on the desk, swallowing his food down before asking, “Did you… are you ready to talk about it?”

“It’s been a long day. It’s okay if you want to leave that for some other time, Kokichi.” Shuichi said just as gently, cutting his own spaghetti into pre-bite sized pieces, like a crazy person.

Kokichi colored a little, feeling like...well, like he’d led his partners on a bit. For having given it weight, it wasn’t that dramatic of a story. “It’s fine, really. Ikuo told me.”

Shrugging, Kokichi twirled up some more of his pasta, trying to just slather it in the sauce. “He just kinda...told me what happened. Treated it as a serious subject and didn’t try to…’kid-ify’ it at all. And when I had questions at the end, he did his best to answer them, and took them all seriously. I think I was...5 or 6?”

“My mother loved me very much, but people were very scared about what me being heir meant for the country. They let their fear rule them, turned it into hate, and one day my mom got caught in a riot. She got hurt and I needed to be born immediately. And she didn’t make it.” Kokichi’s eyes turned sad, but...it was such an old pain, these days. Looking back up at his partners, he shrugged again. 

“But...after he told me all that, and he answered every question I had… I mean, people had mentioned my mom before, but Ikuo told me every story he could remember about her. It’s a pretty cultural thing, but...passing the legacy of someone’s life on is one of the most respectful things you can do for the dead. So...I knew I had a mom, and she died, but I left that conversation thinking about this brilliant woman who gathered her courage to help others even though she was really nervous, and loved to sing but got embarrassed when people heard her, and that she always wore flashy clothes even when it’d be easier to wear something simpler…”

“It’s why I go pay my respects at the Memorial Garden, and during Remembrance ‘n stuff. Cause even though I never met her, I still carry the stories of her life. And...that’s important to me.”

“An astronomer who tries too hard to dress nice, who wanted to help others and had a nice singing voice?” Shuichi mused, eating his reasonably portioned spaghetti, like a maniac. “She sounds a little bit like both of you. That and your eyes, and your parents’ weird love triangle history…”

“Shuichi, if you make a joke about me and Kokichi being secret brothers, I will throw this spaghetti at you.”

“You won’t.”

“I will.”

“Coward.”

“Don’t test me.”

“I’m testing you.”

“...okay, fine, I won’t.” Kaito admitted, though he said, “It’s still a cruddy joke though. Though… I guess it’s good to know that finding out about your mom wasn’t some big, traumatic event. Maki and Shuichi weren’t traumatized learning about their own parents either… maybe it just affects kids less, the younger they hear about the incident? I don’t know how much I like the idea of it seeming ‘normal’ to Miya, everything that happened, but… well, maybe that’s genuinely what we should be aiming for?”

Kokichi rolled his eyes a bit at Shuuichi’s ‘joke’ and took that time to slurp up some more noodles, the thick, creamy sauce coating his lips (and out of consideration for Kaito, Kokichi elected not to add pepper flakes to his plate). But it did make for a great dipping sauce for his squash too!

“I think if not normal, then we should aim for it to be something that she can accept. And...I think that ties into hearing it young--sure, it might not hit as hard because kids can’t really process tragedy as fully, but...it’s also ‘cause they’re hearing about it, young, you know? So by nature, it means that the event has already passed without them having to live in a ‘before’ state. Like...you can definitely miss someone you’ve never met, but you never have to go through having known them, to a world where they’re not there. It’s always been that you’ve never known them.”

“It might just because I love my dad, so I’m willing to give him credit,” Kokichi shrugged, smiling a bit, “But the fact that no one tried to keep it a secret from me? That I was let in on the conversation, and my thoughts and questions were treated seriously? It wasn’t treated like some huge, forbidden thing. I had no time to get in my head about why I didn’t have a mom, or obsess over what might’ve happened to her because...I was told early on. It was handled with the respect a tragedy deserved, but it wasn’t treated like a taboo. So...it was easier for me to process. And as I got older and had questions, people treated it the same way. I wasn’t told to keep it to myself, so I didn’t have to grieve alone.”

Kaito frowned, trying to imagine it. It sounded so hard. Maybe that was just because it was still so fresh to Kaito, but, god, if he had to explain everything that happened to Miya right now? He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it together throughout the explanation. His face would break, he’d over explain or under explain… it would hurt too much. It would be so hard to explain in a non-traumatic way.

...but, it had been six years since Queen Miyako died that Kokichi found out about what exactly happened, and… well, maybe six years from now all of this would be easier for Kaito to talk about too. Without just wanting to… break down.

...and if it wasn’t? “Maybe we can just let Ikou explain everything when the time comes?” Kaito said, grinning in a way that explained he was joking, though there was something exhausted in his eyes that took some of the playfulness of it out. “We already knows he can do it. Let grandpa explain what happened to her other grandparents.”

Shuichi sighed. “Kaito, it’s going to be fine. We have time to figure out how we’re going to talk to her about all of this. It’s not like we’re telling her tonight. Or any time soon, really.”

Kokichi gave his husband a soft look. He probably would be asking Ikuo for advice or backup, but...it was their story to tell. Really...it probably should’ve been Aiichi telling Kokichi, back in the day, but at least Ikuo had been there too. Had known Miyako as a friend before everything. 

The three of them hadn’t been in Luminary while everything was going on (and for explaining things about Luminary as a society, they would probably call on Maki, who had very much been there), but they were the biggest connection between Miya and Kaito’s family. Not Ikuo, who had listened to the concerns they had been willing to bring themselves to talk about, but who had never met any of Kaito’s family, and knew very little about them or the situation that had happened. 

But they had plenty of time to figure out what to do. 

Kokichi nodded along with Shuuichi, humming his assent. “We’re going to, like, explain to her that there is another country called Luminary that you guys are from, and that she has family there and stuff, but...it’s going to be a while before she can really process much. And, yanno, remember it. I’d think we’d have to wait for things like object permanence and non-literal recognition first.”

“And it’s not like we have to explain everything in one huge conversation either,” he hummed. “We can explain things little by little as Miya starts understanding more about the world and has questions about it. I think that would do a lot of work for...all of us, really, not seeing it as this huge, overwhelming topic.”

“First we gotta explain to her that things she’s looking at don’t disappear after they’re not in line of sight… than we gotta explain that things she’s never seen exist… man, babies take a lot of explaining too.” Kaito pouted, running a hand through his hair, “I love Miya, but she’s gonna be real dumb for a real long time.”

“Hey,” Shuichi said, looking a little offended, squaring his shoulders, “No she won’t. She’ll be an entirely reasonable intelligence for a baby… I bet she’ll be very smart, for a baby. She’s Kokichi and I’s child, after all.”

“Aw, I was just teasing her soft little baby head, Shuichi. I’m sure Miya’s gonna be bright.” Kaito grinned. “With her soft mushy head and her itty-bitty body and her lack of object permanence… and color blindness, can’t forget color blindness.”

“Only for awhile.” Shuichi insisted, “She’ll grow into color recognition and a hard head.”

“Pfff. Knowing she’s all of OUR kids? Damn right she’s gonna have a hard head.” Kaito smirked.

Kokichi giggled softly. Kids weren’t dumb, though some of the shit they pulled could be awfully convincing. They just didn’t have all the tools to work through things. Kokichi knew that he wasn’t even at that point yet, and not even just because his brain wasn’t done developing yet. 

But the process of getting those tools was going to be a hell of a learning curve, and he was going to be pumped to help Miya on that journey. 

“She’ll get there,” he hummed fondly, face going soft and far away as he thought about their daughter. “I think I’m gonna enjoy teaching her new things and her being amazed, though. I can hope I’ll always have something to teach her, but it won’t last, and she won’t always be open to learning. But while she thinks we’re all super geniuses? I’m gonna soak that up.”

“Aww, yeah.” Kaito grinned, eyes lighting up as they talked about Miya, the way they always did when she came up. “I mean, hopefully she’ll think we’re pretty smart for awhile, but… well, if she’s anything like Tim, she won’t.” Kaito said dryly. “That kid’s actually starting to like me these days, and I’m pretty sure he still thinks I’m the dumbest person he’s ever met.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true. Timothy definitely has a respect for you.” Shuichi said, eating some of his vegetables. He didn’t need them forced on his plate like Kokichi sometimes did, but it’s portion size was definitely curtesy of Kaito, “Especially lately. It used to be Timothy waited on Maki’s permission to do anything. These days? Half the time he’s looking at you.”

“Respect for me as his dad isn’t the same as respect for my intelligence, and half of the time I’m battling for his respect as his father. That kids absolutely convinced that I’m gonna fall apart without his help. He’s also convinced he’s just gonna lose his temper and kill me someday… geez.” Kaito sighed, running his hand over his face, “He’s just like Maki, I swear. But all the things I respect about Maki are way sadder when I see it on his thin little shoulders. I wish I had noticed how bad things were for Maki before the last counseling session… god, no wonder she went crazy.”

Shuichi frowned at that, “Maki didn’t go crazy.’

“No, no, sorry, that’s the wrong word, I mean like… no wonder acts so pissed off and stressed all the time. All that pressure and weight on her shoulders… fuck, I’d wanna cut me up too.” Kaito grumbled.

“...” Shuichi frowned at that, “...I really am sorry, Kaito. None of that was fair.”

“Yeah, I know… that you're sorry, I mean. And also that it wasn’t fair, but, like... I dunno. You’ve been really stressed too, this year, Handsome.” Kaito said, thinking about it, “People act shitty when they feel shitty. God knows I do. I still didn’t like it, but...its been a hard year. We’ve all done some really shitty things to each other this year, especially me. If we try to be better, maybe it’s not incredibly stupid that we’re all giving each other all these passes, ya know? We just… we just gotta be better.”

That would probably temper with time too. Just as it was a realization that your parents--or the adult figures in your life--weren’t all knowing and invincible, it was another realization after, likely, years of rebellion and thinking they’re the dumbest people ever that parents are...just people. Not superheroes, but people who love and are trying their best and do have lessons to pass on. 

Tim...really was a lot like Maki, but he would get so many opportunities earlier on in life that she never got. He already was, but he would be his own person. And maybe one day all the efforts Kaito was making for him would really click. 

Along with a deeper realization that the adults in his life were really not prepared, but...well. They’d all grow together. 

Kokichi sighed and tipped his head back, a more peaceful expression on his face, as opposed to the weight of expectations that thought usually put on him. “We’re already going to be better, for having lived through and acknowledged our mistakes. And as circumstances calm down, we’ll have more room to maneuver out of total panic mode. We want to be better, and we’ve been taking the steps to get there. One step at a time, and that’s really good.”

“Mmhm…” 

Kaito suddenly paused, looking down at his food. He pushed it around with his fork a little, a worried expression on his face.

“...but… there is a breaking point,” He said softly. Hesitantly. 

He didn’t want to be the one that said it. Not looking up at his pregnant boyfriend and his painfully thin, often sick husband, but… one of them had to say it. 

“We let a lot of things go, this last year. Like… really bad things, you guys. Things we really shouldn’t of. And… I mean, I’ve said it to Kokichi probably more times than I wanna think about, in increasingly pathetic ways but… you both should have left me. Or, fuck, at least considered leaving me, a dozen different times, and...we can’t just always agree to let these things go. To just… close our eyes and decide it’s okay and pretend like we didn’t do something horrible to each other. It’s not fair on ourselves.”

“And…” Kaito gripped his fork tighter, “...I don’t want Miya growing up seeing us treat each other awfully and thinking that’s just… what a relationship looks like. I should never hurt you guys, no matter fucking what, and I shouldn’t scream at you and… and…” Kaito’s shoulders fell, “...I can’t just let you guys, or anyone, just treat me… however? Ya know? I… it doesn’t… help anyone to martyre myself.” Kaito said, muttering the last part mostly to himself, “Not anymore. Hell… I don’t know if it ever helped anything. Maybe it didn’t.”

“...I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.” Shuichi confessed, “And I’d argue you didn’t make yourself less… but you did make yourself easier to trust, by playing at… being easy to talk too.” Shuichi sighed, not wanting to say the other words that came to mind: easy to push around, easy to make fun of.

Friendly.

Safe.

Kaito had made himself smaller to make others feel safe. And now he didn’t have to.

Kokichi’s gaze dropped as he absentmindedly ate another forkful of pasta. “...I like what we have...but I never want her to have to go through what we did. There’s practically no chance she will but…”

...the scariest part about a rape shouldn’t have been someone threatening their own death. Partners shouldn’t drive each other crazy by instigating paranoia. Partners shouldn’t punish each other, and especially not without even clueing in that a punishment was happening. 

...but they knew that. 

Kokichi’s eyebrows furrowed. “...so what?”

“We’re just doomed to repeat all our mistakes and never grow?” His eyes flicked up, not angry, and his tone wasn’t heated, but there was a strong conviction in them that didn’t waver in the slightest. “We’ve seen all that from ourselves and each other and...we’re saying it’s a problem, right?! That’s why we’re in therapy. We’ve decided to stay together, not just out of circumstance, but because it’s what we want. Even when it would probably be advisable to have given up and pursued our own lives separately.”

“We can’t change the past, and that’s probably going to be more painful, shameful conversations with Miya in the future too. But she’s not going to grow up seeing a relationship that’s tearing the people in it apart. She’s not going to think the shit we did was okay. Because we’re going to make a point that that stuff’s not okay, and we’re going to be better, and we’re going to show her what being treated right looks like, and that it’s something she should expect from others, because we respect each other enough to learn from our mistakes.”

Kaito felt a small rush of alarm, at the idea that Miya would ever be told what he did…

...but he swallowed it down. He… that could be a talk he’d have with Kokichi later. Someday. Maybe he had misunderstood Kokichi anyway. That… maybe.

“Yeah. We’re going to be better.” Kaito agreed, rubbing at his temples, “And yeah. We’re learning. I just… yeah. We’ll be better.”

“You alright, Kaito?” Shuichi asked.

“Yeah. No, yeah, it’s just been… fuck, it’s been a long day, hasn’t it? Therapy was hard today. I’ll be honest, I know we need them, but man, right now having a break from them seems like a blessing. With Miss Crystal too. I’m just exhausted.”

“Miyako might not exactly be the break you’re looking for.” Shuichi gently reminded him, half teasing and half lamenting.

“Look, so long as Miya doesn’t ask me how I’m feeling and then ask me how I’m feeling with a more pointed, insisting look? Me and baby girl are gonna be just fine.” Kaito laughed. “She can gurgle baby noises at me all she likes, we’ll get along swimmingly.”

Kokichi frowned slightly, seeing a flash of...fear, and maybe panic in Kaito’s eyes. And...well, he was speaking more broadly, but of course he’d talk with his partners first before bringing any heavier subjects up with Miya, so there wasn’t reason to worry. 

Kokichi wanted to be open and candid with Miyako, but like he was considering with talking about his struggles with his mental health, there was a line between acknowledging difficult things, and passing your trauma onto people. Kokichi would talk about his issues with anxiety and depression and maladaptive coping mechanisms, but he was never going to describe his suicide attempts to his daughter. They could acknowledge that they had manipulated each other and hadn’t treated each other fairly without talking about how Kaito had raped him. 

All things to outline when they got to work talking about how they wanted to raise Miya, he supposed. 

Snorting softly, Kokichi relaxed and cuddled back into his chair. “Our vocabulary is gonna tank. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to be repeating back all her baby babbles verbatim to the point I don’t even notice I’m not speaking full words anymore. Gonna be all “agoobi” and “babagu” for months.”

“The baby books say it helps to talk to them like you’re having an actual conversation,” Kaito mused… before smirking, “So I imagine it’s gonna be a lot of me having ridiculous, one sided conversations. Shuichi?”

“Hm?” Shuichi asked, finishing his food.

“How do you think you’ll talk to Miya? ‘Goo goo gah gah’ or ‘oh, please, continue to explain tax evasion to me, Miya, you’re so knowledgeable on it’?”

“Oh, um… I suppose…” Shuichi paused, “...I know this is going to sound strange. But even now, I still have a hard time imagining her. Or this. Or us. What it’s all going to look like together… mostly I just hope whatever I say doesn’t make her cry. Or bore her. Or make her stupid. Or ruin her life… I’m a bit worried I’m not going to make a very good parent.”

“What? No.” Kaito said, looking a little amused, “You’re gonna make a great dad, handsome. Are you kidding? I grew up with you, man, I’ve seen what you’re like when you’re looking after someone… no one is going to go to bat for her like you are. You’re going to be present, you’re going to make certain she has everything she needs, you’re going to teach her how to study and probably teach her how to cheat… you’re gonna be whatever she needs. You’re gonna be amazing!”

Kokichi snickered a bit. It was important to hold conversations with your baby to help them learn language and social cues, but he also knew that there was no way he would be able to stop himself from repeating her sounds. It would absolutely happen, and there was no way around it. 

That was just from knowing himself more than being able to envision himself as a parent...at least mostly. 

Giving Shuuichi a kind look, Kokichi nodded along with Kaito’s encouragement. “Absolutely. It’s up in the air which one of us is gonna be her favorite, but she’s one hundred percent gonna think Shuu-chan is the coolest. Because you are the coolest of us.”

“Maki-chan keeps saying that we’re gonna be fine once we hit the ground running, and while I have my own nerves, she’s right. We’ll figure it out as we go, because we care, and it’s going to work out. And Shuu-chan for sure!” Kokichi grinned, giving his boyfriend a thumbs up. “She’s gonna adore you, and she’ll be lucky to have someone as awesome as Shuu-chan bein’ an awesome dad for her.”

Shuichi gave his lovers a curious look… before smiling. “Well, if anyone would know, it’d be you two… thanks.”

-

Maki had headed back out, looking for ideas.

She asked around. Heard some rumors. Heard some facts around those rumors. Talked to some people. A big man with glasses. The small man who seemed incredibly wary of her and was trying very hard to not talk with a Luminary accent, despite the fact that the big man absolutely gave it away. Maki pretended not to notice. Talked to some people that they suggested she talk to.

Swung by a store. Got some items.

And as the sun was setting, she headed to Tim’s room. Knocking on his door.

As his small, scarred face peeked out, Maki felt her stomach tighten at the sudden worry on his face, briefly, but there, before it smoothed out into something neutral again. “Yes, mom?”

“...I’d like to take you somewhere.” Maki said.

Timothy gave her an uncertain look, “... you’d like to?”

“Yes.” 

Timothy was confused. Did that mean it was an option? That was… weird. 

“...does dad know?”

Maki’s shoulders fell, ever so slightly. 

Timothy was scared of her.

“...it’s for your birthday.” Maki said, “It’s a surprise… but thank you for reminding me. Let me go tell your father real quick.”

“You’re going to tell dad?” Tim asked, looking more surprised.

“Yes. I know it’s warm tonight, but if you want to go, dress warmly still, it might get colder as it gets later.” Maki informed him, before heading down the hallway, knocking on Kaito’s door. Feeling Timothy’s stare on her back. If Kaito knowing where he was going made him feel safer, than good. 

“...mgh?” Kaito asked, peeking out, looking very much like he had just been asleep. Behind him, Kokichi and Shuichi were curled together, sleeping deeply. “Ngh?”

“I’m taking Timothy out on his birthday thing.”

“What? Now? Where?”

Maki told him.

“...it’s safe? You’re sure?”

She explained.

“...okay. When… do you think you’re getting back?”

“If we’re not back by three, something’s gone wrong.”

“O...kay… you’re not-”

“I’m not doing anything weird.” Maki said.

“Okay… okay.” Kaito stepped out, spotting a fully dressed Timothy heading down and grinning down at him, “Hey! You and mom are going out, huh? She told me where you’re going, it’s a cool surprise! You excited?”

Timothy gave both parents uncertain looks, but… his dad didn’t look worried. And he knew where they were going, so… he nodded, “Yeah. Yes.”

“Good! Great! You have so much fun, be safe, listen to your mother. If it gets too late I’m gonna head there myself and check on you guys, okay?”

Timothy relaxed entirely, nodding, “Okay. Is this okay, mom?” Timothy asked, indicating his clothes.

“Perfect. Alright, let me grab my bags, let’s go.”

-

They had taken a horse out into the woods, and it took about forty minutes to get where she had in mind. It was the base of a mountain, technically, though really it was only just the start of the rocky incline, the actual mountain still a while off. They parked the horse, tied it to a tree, Timothy gave it some pets as Maki scoped out the area again, having visited it earlier but wanting to be extra sure…

Timothy pet the horse, and paused, staring curiously as a bug fluttered onto his hands, staring curiously at it.

“...hello, moth friend.” Timothy said to it quietly. 

“Alright Timothy, come on.” Maki called.

The moth fluttered off as he headed to her. Timothy headed to the cave, looking around in wonder. There were moths everywhere. It was cool, watching them fly in the moonlight. “Why are there so many moths around?”

“They’re attracted to the scents here.” Maki explained, as the two entered the cave. “Now, it’s going to be darker before it get lighter, and there’s rocks and puddles, so mind your footing… actually, here.” 

Maki took Tim’s hand, “Just watch your footing, and if you slip, put your weight on me.”

“Oh… okay.” Tim said, staring at Maki’s hand. Just dumbfounded. 

The cave dripped with perspiration as they headed down, and Maki was right, it got darker, their footsteps echoing in the rocky walls. As they walked through the dark, Timothy finally dared to ask, “Are we… doing training down here?”

“No. I told you, this is a birthday surprise. We’re not training.”

“...oh…” Timothy ‘looked’ around the darkness of the cave, finding himself drifting closer to Maki’s side, unnerved by the strange environment, “Than why are we here?”

“Because,” Maki said, spotting the light at the end of the tunnel, “It’s beautiful.”

As they got farther into the cave, everything started glowing blue. It was at this level that the mushrooms started to grow, and they got more dense the further in they went, the blue shimmering against the smooth rocks, almost glistening like jewels. Timothy stared in wonder, a few moths fluttering even all the way down here, less, but fluttering on and resting on the mushrooms, though as they got further in, the moths disappeared entirely.

Maki glanced down at Timothy, and felt warm at the light in his eyes. “It gets better. Just a little more.”

Timothy nodded, still looking in wonder at the lights. Gripping Maki’s hand tight, even though he could see now. “Okay…”

And after awhile… “Woah.” Timothy said, eyes widening.

There was a lake under the cave.

It was still and beautiful, an underground lake, lit up and glowing under the light of the blue mushrooms. The water itself glowed slightly, and within the lake there were strange, purple crystals. The water steamed, but Timothy could see fish, swimming around the crystals, and there were the sounds of frogs somewhere in the distance. “...what is this place?” Timothy asked.

“It’s an underground hot spring.” Maki explained. It wasn’t, but that was how it had been explained to her, by experts of the area. “My friend Temp told me about it when I visited him today. I told him I wanted to take you somewhere nice, and he told me to ask around about this place. Apparently the caves only recently re-opened, but there’s documents that this used to be a popular hot spring in the area, before a mountain slide closed it off. I’ve been warned not to try eating the mushrooms, but I’ve been assured the water is safe. Apparently the local Peloran Temples use this same type of water, with these crystals? You see?” She said, gesturing to the crystal in the water, “And the crystals have a cooling effect on the water, which naturally heats. Making it a perfect hot spring.”

“...Are we swimming here? Is that why you brought towels?”

“I brought you a bathing suit too.” Maki smirked, putting down her bag… before hesitating. “You seem to like to swim. Do you want too- oh.”

Timothy was already pulling his shirt over his head, looking excited, before looking up at Maki, a clearly excited look on his face, “Um… yes! I want too?” He asked, like he wasn’t sure if that was a test or not. Not sure if he was supposed to want too.

“...good.” Maki said, smiling slightly, “Wanna see if we can catch a fish with our hands?”

Timothy grinned. Looking, to Maki, eerily like Kaito as he said with a ‘Tim’ version of enthusiasm, “Yes.”

-

Kokichi had noticed it for a bit, Nadya’s peppier mood in the past week, and he figured it had something to do with the “special guest” that she had shown around the castle and apparently was visiting her for a bit. And while he made a few lightly teasing comments and suggestions about her taking off early, he hadn’t asked about it, not wanting to pry into something she was still maybe figuring out. Or just wanted to enjoy before being more public. 

But used enough to being a public figure thanks to her baseball successes, it was more that Nadya hadn’t brought it up herself because she’d been waiting to tell one person in particular first. 

She had promised to catch him up, after all. 

Hair up in a single messy bun rather than her usual twin ones, Nadya found herself in a familiar position, walking around the castle gardens after work in search of a particular prince. But this time with a happy, glowing air around her and a hop in her step.

Kaito was trying to teach himself how to drip paint. Pour paint? He was swirling paint around on a canvas and sitting in the grass, on a painting sheet he had acquired from, well, the storage closet he had shoved it into when he had been cleaning out his shrine from the paint storage unit it had originally been. He had set up near the bench that he usually sat in when he was feeling… overwhelmed. Because he was feeling a little overwhelmed, sure. 

But, like… it was hard to focus on the problems of your world when you were trying very hard, and mostly failing, to not pour paint on yourself, and like… was this how you were supposed to do it? Had he made it too wet? It kinda looked cool… better than his second attempt. He glanced over at the two drying canvases next to him, resting in the grass. The first one had barely spread. The second one had spread a lot, but mixed into an ugly, greenish brown color… but this one was looking a little better?

...he supposed he liked the little swirly effects. It didn’t really look like the ones in the store though. He had been wandering around the market, saw some painting he had liked, asked the price, balked at the price, meekly asked how it was made and…

… maybe if he… tipped it more?

Ooof, oops, there goes most of the paint on the canvas he guessed… ah well, these shorts were doomed anyway.

Nadya’s eyebrows raised in curiosity as she paused, watching Kaito...work on an art project? It...may not be the best time to chat, but she could still say hello. She had actually meant to see Kaito over the weekend while she was popping into the office before going museum hopping with Conrad, but he had been on a birthday fishing trip with his son. 

The man had a full life, certainly. 

“Good afternoon, Kaito. May I ask what you are doing? I do not think I have seen a painting practice like this before.”

“Hn? Oh! Hey Nadya!” Kaito grinned, looking up at her, literally covered in paint, as he exclaimed to her, like it wasn’t entirely obvious, “Check it out, I’m painting! Um… sort of?”

“I’m… pour painting? Drip painting? It actually looks really cool when it’s done well, a store clerk explained it to me when I was out today. They had all these paintings that were all these cool colors and flecks of gold and… anyway! It’s a work in progress.” Kaito laughed, gesturing to the ruined, soaked canvases beside him, before grinning up at her, “Are you busy? Did you want to sit. Uhhhh…” he looked around, “...that spots dry? I think.”

“Intriguing,” Nadya hummed, taking a closer look at the canvases set to the side. They seemed a bit...odd, but knowing that Kaito was pouring paint down...she could see swirls and interesting patterns in places. “Art that focuses more on the experience of technique than subject matter, I assume. When you get to a piece you are satisfied with, I would greatly enjoy seeing it.”

Giving him a grin, Nadya settled herself on a non-paint-soaked patch of grass. “Are you experimenting with a new hobby? I imagine Kokichi could talk your ear off about the qualities of your art.”

“Oh, uh, I mean…” Kaito grinned sheepishly, “I wanted to buy a nice painting to… this is gonna sound a little silly, but we basically have a whole hallway to ourselves? I thought it might be nice to put a nice painting up in it? Maybe on the wall between the nursery and our room… but man, nice paintings are expensive. So! I bought some pour paints, and I guess have… stolen?? Some canvases??” Kaito mused, looking at the stack of canvases, “I mean, they were in my shrine when I first got it, no one ever came for them, so… maybe I stole them a year ago?”

Looking at the canvas laid out in front of him, he said, “It’s tricker than it looks, but I feel like if I keep at it something nice will come out… wanna try one? I’ve stolen so many canvases, I have plenty to spare… oh! Oh!”

Kaito suddenly lit up, looking at Nadya, “Wait, I totally forgot! You have to tell me! How did it go!?”

“That’s lovely, Kaito. It would give a nice sense of home to the area,” Nadya praised, laughing a little as Kaito admitted to possible theft. But if no one had come for them, then they were much better suited to a crafts project than sitting in a shrine forever. 

After seeing the vase of sunflowers, she and Kokichi had talked idly about decorating the office more. Nothing terribly personal, they had both agreed, since people on official business would still come by occasionally and it felt too invasive, but more things to brighten up the space. Maybe just buying flowers more often, but perhaps some artwork. Maybe Kaito would be willing to make a painting for them too. 

At first making an interested noise to trying out the drip painting, Nadya looked up with a sly look and a snicker as Kaito guessed easily what she had originally come by for. “I will hand it to you, Kaito--your advice was wonderful.”

Nadya held out one of her arms and presented her wrist, a weaved bracelet with an intricate, flat knot sitting against her wrist showed off almost with the bragging gesture one would use for a wedding ring. “I asked him over dinner his second day here, last week. We have gone on three outings we agree are more traditionally dates, though we have been spending time together for his entire visit.”

Kaito didn’t know the significance of the bracelet, but he knew when someone was bragging about a very nice gift, and he looked appropriately astonished, gushing at it as he said enthusiastically, “Heeeeeeey, look at that! I knew it! I mean, I knew it cause you knew it. You knew he fucking liked ya! You just needed the courage to ask. Aw, hell yeah!”

Kaito beamed at her, making the exaggerated motion of leaning towards her, placing his chin in his hands-- forgetting he had a bunch of paint on his hands, which were now on his chin, and whelp too late to stop that now-- and looking for all the world like an eager, attentive audience as he said, “You have to tell me every detail. Awwww, I’m so happy for you… damn, I wanna ask you on a double date, but Miyako’s right around the corner… can we take a raincheck on that? Can I reserve a double date for the future?”

It was true. Nadya didn’t have too many doubts, but her talk with Kaito had solidified her courage and had given her a plan. And following through had rewarded her greatly. 

Laughing, Nadya gave the prince a nod. “Absolutely. Conrad lives in Zogel, but for the time being we have decided to take trips to visit each other with frequency. So we will definitely be around to go on a double date with you and Kokichi and Shuuichi. I feel as though you and he have similar sensibilities--he is looking forward to your meeting, whenever that ends up being.”

If not on this trip, then perhaps during Zenith, if the royal family found that their new daughter didn’t mind going out among crowds. Conrad had said that he wanted to bring his sister to celebrate the holiday in Usott, so even after this trip, it would not be long before they saw each other again. 

Smiling fondly, Nadya brought her arm back as she settled into a comfortable crouch over the art space. “I remarked previously that Conrad is a sweetheart, yes? I do not believe I have seen him as flustered as he was when I asked him… It certainly is quite the confidence boost when you ask to court someone and they look at you like they’re witnessing the sun for the first time after a difficult winter.”

“Ha, yeah… that’s another great reason to get that ask in early, huh? If they do like you, man, why leave them squirming for a week? Mind, I bet he’s been squirming over you for a lot longer than that.” Kaito laughed, “I’m happy for ya, man. I’m super looking forward to meeting him too! You’re such a formal personality, I’m so curious if he’s the same, or if it’s an opposite attracts situation… ah well, I guess I’ll find out when I find out. It’s exciting!”

Kaito was happy to keep chatting, but noting how Nadya was crouching, rather than settling in… “Hey, don’t feel like you have to stay just cause I invited you. If you were heading somewhere, I can gush with you about Conrad some other time… heh.” Kaito smirked, “He won’t hear it from me first, but whenever you tell Kokichi, I’ll join him in just grilling ya for details. Or I could grab a drink with you sometime, if you ever wanted to? Um… no pressure, just an open invitation sort of thing.”

It was true. Where Nadya had worried about them wanting more space from each other if he hadn’t felt the same, that was just doubt clouding her decision. Something hinging more on an “if” than a true alternative. By taking Kaito’s advice, now she and Conrad could take this trip to feel out this new part of their relationship without having to put things on hold due to their distance. 

“I believe it was a matter of us bonding over our similarities, at first, actually,” Nadya explained kindly. “I was a bit of a wild child, growing up, and while he was rather timid, Conrad had always aspired to the knightly countenance he grew into. To put it blunt,” she grinned, “Most of our peers were nerds. Simply from being the only ones wanting to roughhouse and explore instead of go to our lessons, we struck up a friendship from there.”

Shaking her head, Nadya gestured to the painting supplies around them. “I’m in no hurry, and I would love to try my hand at this application of art. But I also would enjoy having a drink with you at some point. I enjoy our conversations, Kaito.”

Kaito lit up at that, “Hell yeah! Well, from one jock to another, heeeere you go, annnnnnd…” Kaito looked over Nadya’s outfit as he handed her a blank canvas, and said, “If you love your clothes, I can get you a big shirt to put on over that? Your clothes aren’t gonna survive otherwise, trust me.” He said, indicating to his own paint covered self. “It goes everywhere.”

Setting the canvas down, Nadya looked over her outfit before shrugging with something mischievous in her eyes. “I thank you for the considerate offer, but I think I will enjoy being an ambulatory conversation starter after this. It will encourage me to be more thoughtful about the palette I choose as well.”

Paint could kind of be a pain to wash out, but it looked like Kaito was working with water-soluble paints anyway, so it would be fine. It would be fun to meet up with Conrad later like this; he did have a wonderful laugh. 

Getting some instruction--as much as Kaito had managed to glean up to this point--Nadya started pouring paints into a large cup, keeping it tilted so the paints layered at an angle. Supposedly, so multiple colors would come out at once when poured.

“Ah, Kokichi mentioned having a good time, but how did your date go? You decided on the aquarium?”

Kaito, in turn, went back to swishing and swirling his canvas around-- oooh, that was a nice color- oh, nope, it’s gone now-- as he said, “We did! It was nice, the aquarium is pretty cool. Surprisingly cold, I was a little worried about Kokichi while we were there, but he said he was fine, so…” Kaito shrugged, taking some paint and deciding… maybe some blue would help?

Pouring on some blue, he said, “And Kokichi took me to a really nice restaurant! That steak place over on 7nth? If either you or Conrad are meat people, that place is great, I’d recommend it. And the environment is a little Luminary, which was nice. Reminded me of home a bit.”

Grinning, he considered if this was ‘private’ information… he didn’t think it was? It was just a cute thing they did, really… “And Kokichi and I have this thing we sometimes do? We tell each other stories of, like… fake memories? Sorta? I mean, definitely fake, but they’re more stories than actual fake memories, if that makes any sense. It’s not Kokichi telling me fake things like it's real, is what I’m saying…” Kaito realized he was maybe clarifying something that didn’t need clarification, and re-focused, “So yeah, we make up these little fake stories for each other? We ended up doing that at the restaurant, pretending like we met each other by accident once years ago in a restaurant on a blind date? Kokichi’s always this cool, like, phantom thief character in these things, I’m just me but more pointedly outrageous… you and Conrad do anything weird like that? Like, just… weird, fun habits you guys share together?”

Deciding to try and focus on three distinct pools, Nadya carefully lowered and raised her cup, not paying mind to the paint dripping off and coloring her shoes. “Oh, yes, I’ve walked by that establishment on occasion. If it is good in your books, I’ll propose it for a dinner outing--we’ve tried out a few of the other places you recommended and they have been hits so far.” Nadya laughed softly, deciding to roll with it as one of the circles on her canvas was looking more...balloon-shaped. “Despite neither of our guardians being particularly culinarily inclined, that ramen shop somehow hit all the notes of nostalgia while probably being the best ramen I’ve ever had.”

Nadya looked up at Kaito quizzically, not quite understanding the habit Kaito was describing at first, though understanding lit upon her face soon enough. “I see--it is like you two are playing pretend? That’s...incredibly endearing and adorable, I have to say,” she grinned. It was no secret that Kokichi was a playful person, but him and his husband spinning semi-fantastical stories around each other for fun? It was very sweet. 

Snorting a bit, Nadya turned a light shade of pink as she gave Kaito a bashful grin, connecting the not-really-circular puddles with thin swirls. “I’m not entirely certain how to describe it? But...my best attempt would be to say we use catchphrases when around one another. Akin to shouting out a one-liner in the heat of battle that an action hero would do, however...we have taken to doing it in mundane circumstances.”

Shaking her head fondly, Nadya mimed a chopping motion with her free hand. “He was dividing pieces of dough the other day and demanded that it “scatter before him!” as he cut through.”

“Oh nooooo, that’s really cute!” Kaito laughed, just about ready to give up on this canvas attempt and start the next one. He figured he could just reuse the canvases when they dried. “You’re right, you guys aren’t nerds. You’re total dorks, if I’ve ever heard one before. And I’ve met a few in my time.”

As he put the wet canvas aside and pulled a fresh one to himself, he asked, “An adventuring boyfriend, baseball stardom, not to mention you were a soldier five seconds ago… it’s wild to me you’d do desk work part time. I know you don’t do it for the money, they pay you government types like garbage, so… what inspired that choice? Did you just want a break from all the physical stuff?”

It was only by comparison that she and Conrad had been considered rambunctious jocks by their peers. When you live in one of the only communities in the country that openly practices magic, it tends to attract people who really wanted to practice and study magic, and in turn nurtured that kind of desire in those that lived there. Not everyone had been as much of a turbo nerd as Lluwyn--though he had been considered a model mage--but even Elthia, one of the more rambunctious, had still been interested in messing around with magic. 

For Conrad who, at most, could summon up minor healing spells, and Nadya who had always considered magic something secondary in her life, they definitely had been odd ones out in the Hollow. But by the nature of having grown up there, they were both well-read and dorks in their own rights. 

Hmm… It wasn’t atrocious to look at… Nadya grabbed a mixing skewer from the pile of supplies Kaito had and started adding more swirls in. Maybe visual chaos would help. 

Giving him a bit of a shrug at the mention of admin pay--it certainly wasn’t the highest paying job she could get, but it was a tidy enough sum--Nadya offered a softer smile. “In part, yes. I still greatly enjoy my time playing baseball, and I believe I would start to exhibit signs of becoming stir crazy if I worked for the government full time. After my time in the war, short as it was compared to many others, I still felt like I had parts of myself to contribute to Dicea.”

Nadya’s eyes were slightly clouded as she added a few squiggles here and there. “I wanted to lend my services in helping people. And while I had not stopped long anywhere after leaving my hometown, after returning to Usott...I felt it was time to settle down, at least for a while. Give myself some roots to recuperate, as it were.”

“I’m happy with this decision. My time with the government administration has been fulfilling, and, of course,” her grin brightened again, “I have had the chance to meet all of you. Such friendly encounters in life should be appreciated.”

“Well, I know Kokichi was over the moon to get ya. Shuichi too, when he was working there.” Not entirely accurate, but Shuichi’s issues had never had anything to do with Nadya, and far more to do with ‘not quite being trusted or capable of actually holding a job’. 

His poor, handsome guy… Kaito wasn’t really mad at him anymore. He kinda felt bad for how mad he had gotten, honestly. He still felt like he had been right to be angry, but… he didn’t like that he had cursed at him. Definitely not something he could let himself do around Miya. No cursing at daddy and dada… that wasn’t respectful. Kaito had to be better. 

“And Usott’s a nice place to settle,” Kaito agreed, looking around the garden, “It’s busy, and pretty, and you’re spoiled for choice on places to eat and things to do. Man, I wish we had made time to come to one of your games. I think it’s gonna be a little too difficult to do with an infant, I think we… ‘struck out’ this year.” 

Kaito grinned, looking overly pleased with himself. “Eh? Eh? Get it? Struck out?”

It had been more often at the beginning, since by now Kokichi and Nadya had found their work rhythm together, but it had been gratifying when Kokichi was listing out all the steps needed for a new project. There would be a momentary look of stress on his face before Nadya piped up and in turn listed out the things she would be able to accomplish that day, and Kokichi would give her a look like she was a godsend. It made her feel important, though it also raised concerns about how Kokichi had been doing all this work before. 

But by now? They barely had to confer over the steps anymore, and instead just checked in casually, keeping their workflow running like water in new pipes. 

And if that was the metaphor for the two of them, then Nadya would akin Shuuichi to a pressure valve, rocketing their speed to terrifying levels of efficiency. But Nadya was glad he stepped away to focus on his health in the immediacy, and to pursue his true passion. If Shuuichi was that good at work he didn’t care much for, then Nadya had a feeling there would nary be a crime left uncovered when Shuuichi started his practice. 

Her friendship with Shuuichi had been something of a surprise, but something Nadya greatly valued. They weren’t exactly hanging out in town these days, but Nadya regularly stopped by his study to say hello--and to Nini too. 

Laughing a bit at Kaito’s joke--or, really, more how pleased he was with it--Nadya gave him a good natured nod. “There is always time in the future, though I will not begrudge you should you not make it to a future game either. There is plenty to capture the attention in Usott, not to mention the demands of your personal life. Let me know, however, if you wish to come--players often are able to snag seats before tickets go up to invite guests.”

“I’ll talk to them about it.” Kaito promised. Maki too…

...ah, right. He was supposed to have another conversation with Maki too. “Damn, I almost forgot. I gotta go have a dance battle with Maki.” Kaito said, scratching-- and smearing more paint-- on his chin. “I should do that today. Don’t want to put that off until it’s too late.”

Nadya raised an eyebrow. Kaito had his quirks, but sometimes she really needed context to what he was talking about. “You two are taking part in a dance battle? May I ask for what?”

“It’s a therapy thing.” Kaito explained, pouring his cup and frowning as, again, it was like all the paint came out at once… that wasn’t right, was it? Hmmmm, “Our relationship therapist thinks we're all pissed off at each other cause we’re physically pent up, so she told us to dance together until we wanna punch each other less. No idea if it’ll work, but, well, we try everything she suggests in good faith, ya know?”

Eyes widening with understanding as she saw the connection, Nadya hummed and nodded. “I see. I have a few teammates who have mentioned that practice and games help them work off aggression; I can see how dancing would work the same way. I hope it works out for you two in that fashion.”

Nadya eyed her painting skeptically. There were cool moments of it, she supposed, but it really was just a dizzying mess of colors.

Kaito looked between his and Nadya’s canvas… before snorting. “I feel like Kokichi would wear these.”

Following Kaito’s gaze, Nadya looked at the paintings for a moment longer before snickering. “That seems accurate. If these were textile prints, they seem like just the thing that would delight him. I think you have found a great fan of your work already, Kaito.”

The two chuckled over that, and were there for some time, going through all the white canvases. Neither of them really got the hang of pour painting by the end, but they had a few pieces they personally liked by the end of it, and, honestly? It was just kinda fun doing it for its own sake. 

...hopefully the lawn-keeping guys wouldn’t mind the paint that soaked through the painting sheet. Whoops. No, the, uh, the grass was always purple right there… and red over there… and that grass was still green, which was mostly right! 

Eh. It’d be fine.

-

Maki was already in the middle of working out, doing pullups on the bar Kokichi had set up in her room, when there was a knock at the door.

Opening it up, Kaito gave her a sheepish grin, holding a record player in his arms.

“Uhhh… I just grabbed a bunch of different records.” Kaito laughed, gesturing his chin towards the precariously towered pile of records on top of the machine, “Wanna find something to dance too?”

-

They were on their third record when Maki sighed. “Another boring one.”

“It’s not boring, Maki.” Kaito scolded, through he didn’t argue as Maki took the record off, moving on to a new one. “It’s just, ya know… not quite… right.”

“Why defend it? It’s boring. There’s no heat to these. How am I supposed to argue with you to harp music?”

“I dunno, maybe there’s some heavy ass harp music out there somewhere?” Kaito mused, looking at the cover of the next record. Looked like more violin music. “What are we even really looking for?”

“Music to beat each other up to.”

“I think that’s actually… specifically not the point.”

“Might as well be.” Maki said, turning the record on. The record making a little scratchy sound for a second as it settled, before…

“...oh. It’s tango music.” Kaito realized, looking at the back of the record album, seeing a long list of names, but ‘Roxanne’ being the first one listed, and playing first on the record. 

It was a string orchestra, not just the violin on the cover, and as the two sat and listened to it for awhile… 

“It’s definitely angry sounding.” Maki noted.

Kaito frowned, “...I dunno. It kinda makes me feel sad. It sounds weirdly familiar. This isn’t a Luminary song, is it?”

“I don’t recognize it.” Maki said, listening to it for awhile before saying, “I don’t think I know any dances that would easily fit this though. It slows down too much… and this last part feels like I’m thematically supposed to break your neck by the end of it.”

“Okay, well, if this song makes you want to break my neck, let’s maybe try something else.” Kaito laughed nervously, rubbing his neck slightly with his hands. “Let it play to the next one?”

“Sure…”

The next song was called Fantasia, and while it was nice, it became pretty obvious really quickly it wasn’t gonna work. As the two quietly listened to it, sitting on the mirrored dance studio floor, Kaito suddenly asked, “What are we gonna talk about, anyway?”

“I don’t know.” Maki said simply, “Whatever you want to talk about.”

“...I mean, don’t you have things you want to talk about too?” 

Maki shrugged.

The two listened to the long song, and just as Kaito was going to suggest they maybe just move the needle forward--

There was a sudden, strange scratching noise. The sound quality immediately, dramatically different, the recording no longer the professional recording of a string orchestra concert, but sounding sorta… home made? The music coming in like someone had placed a single microphone in a room and just let it pick up what it would. There was even the soft sounds of some people walking around, excited murmurings to each other…

“...Holy shit.” Kaito laughed, looking delighted, “Did someone record over this record? Damn, that’s ballsy… this is an older album too. It’s, like, twenty-five years old. Considering how new this technology is? Someone really went ahead and just recorded over one of the earliest records around, huh?”

“I’m sure there’s other recordings of this album, it’s not that ballsy.” Maki huffed, listening to the group-- it sounded like teenagers-- excitedly give each other instructions. She wondered what instruments they were going to use. 

And again, in that ‘one microphone in a room’ quality, a young woman’s voice excitedly piped up, “Okay, we ready? Yeah? This is group ‘Trigger Happy Havoc’, and we’re singing Black Sheep!”

Kaito’s grin split his cheeks, just fucking tickled pink by how excited the girl sounded. There was a sudden crowing sound, a young man shouting, “FUCK YEAH WE ARE!” along with some sudden heavy guitar playing, and another girl crowing in turn, different from the first one, as she howled, “OUR DEBUT ALBUM! WE’RE GONNA BE FAMOUS BITCHES!”

“We’re already famous.” One soft male voice reminded them with some amusement, before the first girl said, “Guys! Focus! Let’s get that beat in!”

“I love them.” Kaito laughed, looking at the album with open affection, “I don’t care if they’re about to be terrible. This is now officially my favorite album.”

Though, as the bass and the drums came in…

“...okay. It’s gotta be this one, right?” Katio asked, grinning at Maki, “This feels like a fighting song, but without, like… breaking my neck at some point.”

“...sure.” Maki shrugged, moving the needle to restart the song, before starting the timer on the recorder to return to that spot after a certain amount of minutes, “I’ve got it on repeat. We’ll figure out a dance that works with it, and we’ll perfect it. That’s essentially what she said, right?”

“Yep!” Kaito said, bouncing up.

Hello again.

Friend of a friend.

I knew you when!

“She’s actually got a really good singing voice.” Kaito noted, “For definitely being a kid, I mean. No way she’s older than fourteen with that voice.”

“Who knows when they recorded this. They could all be in their forties now.” Maki mused, taking Kaito’s hand and putting it on her waist, putting the other one on her shoulder, “Let me lead for a bit.”

“Hmm? Sure. Don’t forget, we gotta actually come up with a routine. Dr. Mariah wanted us to practice this.”

“Which is what makes me think Dr. Mariah doesn’t actually know what a spar feels like.” Maki sighed, guiding Kaito into a two-step, each step a little halted, a little hurried, a little short, “It’s structured, sure, but not rigid. How are we supposed to talk if we can’t move how we’d like.”

“Heh… who knows if we’ll even actually talk. This might not work at all.” Kaito grinned, looking surprised as Maki flowed them out into a wall, and… “We’re gonna hop on those?”

“Why not? Jumping feels appropriate there.” 

“Ha! Alright, let me wait for the next loop, we’ll try that again.” 

Our common goal was waiting for

The world to end

“I love the lyrics… very ‘teenagers in high school’.” Kaito grinned, following Maki’s steps, “I’d have lost my mind over this song at fifteen.”

“You’re losing your mind over it now.” Maki noted.

“Well, sure, but… shuddup, I’m allowed.”

Maki smirked at this, “How about...a twirl at this part?”

“You or me?”

“Me.”

“On it.”

The first few times the song went through, Maki and Kaito were enjoying themselves, trying to find a pattern and rhythm, a style that would flow well with the music. Kaito laughing as he introduced some thumpy shoulder shaking which Maki indulged him on, the two’s hair bouncing as they jumped to DUN DUN DUN DUN.

At some point, Kaito took Maki’s hips, twirled her as he lifted her in the air, placed her down… and his face suddenly broke. 

“...Kaito…”

“Sorry, sorry.” Kaito said, taking in a wet breath, rubbing the back of his wrists against his face as he said, “Fuck, sorry… dammit.”

Maki watched him quietly, before sighing, the song looping back to the beginning, “Try again?”

“...yeah.”

The two went back to the dance, Kaito’s grip in Maki’s hands trembling as he tried to get himself back together. He laughed weakly as they went into their hops, cause it was so stupid… “Tch. Definitely wouldn’t be crying if we were freaking… sparring. This is ridiculous.”

“Too much adrenaline in spars to cry.” Maki agreed, giving him a cool, but concerned, look, the two dancing for a bit before she asked, “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t fucking know…”

Now that the truth is just a rule

That you can bend! 

You crack the whip, shapeshift and trick 

the past again!

“Was there ever going to be a happy ending for us, Maki?” Kaito asked quietly. 

“This feels pretty happy.” Maki said, after a moment. “We’re both alive. Healthy. People who love us.”

“I know… I know, I just… sometimes I like to imagine other ways my life could have gone? Just… just for my own self indulgence, ya know? Nothing I actually want to happen, just… could you and I have ever made it work? I spent so long in love with you, and when we tried, it was just… was that just never going to work?”

“...” Maki seemed to consider that, looking at the tears on Kaito’s face as he struggled to get through the song. It looped again. They went back to the starting positions. “No, I don’t think it ever would have. We’re both too… emotional. In the wrong ways. And you know that.”

“Yeah…” Kaito sighed, and just like that, even felt his back muscles relax a little, as he spun Maki out, back in, catching her. Because he did know that. He had known that for a long time. “So why do I feel like this?”

“Like what?”

“Like I failed you… I get angry at you and hate myself for it. I forgive you and hate myself for it. Nothing feels right.”

“Maybe I haven't really earned your forgiveness yet and you can’t help but resent that?” Maki said, it not really a question. “And maybe you haven't really earned my forgiveness and that makes you feel guilty?”

“Ugh, you sound like our therapist.”

“Shut up and hop with me.”

DUN DUN DUN DUN

I’ll send you my love, on a wire

Lift you up, every time, 

Everyone, oooh

Pulls away, ooooh

From you! 

“...this songs kinda mean.”

“Teenagers are kinda mean.”

“Everyone’s kinda mean.” Kaito eventually decided for them, introducing a more complicated little step as the young singer crooned into the microphone. “...Maki, you really took advantage of Kokichi.”

“I did.” Maki agreed, following the step that Kaito was introducing, trying to keep up. He was always a little better at rhythm, than she was, “But in my defense, I hadn’t realized how much at the time. He was the prince and heir apparent of his country. I thought that childish act he put on was just that: an act. I didn’t realize he was actually that new to everything.”

“God, fucking tell me about it… every time I think too hard about it, I come back to our wedding night and just wanna fucking crawl out of my skin. Even without taking the drugs into question, I… really feel like I took advantage. A part of me was in total denial he was a virgin. I asked him about it later and he looked so fucking spooked and hurt… god, I was just a fucking whirlwind into his life.”

“...I’ve already told him this. And apologized. But a part of me thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, if this ruined your relationship.” Maki told Kaito, who grit his teeth at that, “I’m sorry. I genuinely didn’t expect you to fall in love that fast. You had just met him… I thought it was obligation, at best. And I--”

“You were trying to set up a defense specifically against me. Using my own husband. Who was having mental break down after mental breakdown--”

Maki moved her hands from Kaito’s hand to his wrist, putting pressure on it to force him into a turn they hadn’t practiced before, saying through his grunt of pain, “I was afraid of you.”

“Why!?” Kaito asked, leaning into the turn and pulling Maki back into the spin, grabbed the small of her back and walking her backwards, “I have always done my best to protect you! To look out for you! I had the chance to warn Byakuya and didn’t take it, you can’t make the argument that you couldn’t trust me!”

“You would have stopped me from going! You would have triggered my conditioning!”

“For fucks sake, Maki, I literally didn’t!” Kaito shouted, dipping her low, glaring at her.

The song looped again.

“Well… I thought you would.” She said softly, as they went back to their starting positions.

“And I don’t understand why.”

“Cause I would have, in your position.”

“... would you have?”

“I don’t know.” Maki said, despite herself. Frowning at her own backtracking, hopping into their DUN DUN DUNS.

“...heh. I know we’re in the middle of something, but what if during this break in the lyrics, we let go and circled each other, clapping a bit?”

“What, like this?”

“Yeah. Let’s try it the next loop.”

“Sure.”

Got balls of steels

Got a chariots wheel

For a minimum wage!

Got real estate, I’m buying it all up

In outer space!

“You think those lyrics were just them running out of material, or…?”

“Don’t get distracted, Kaito.”

“We were both shitty to my husband, you couldn’t trust me, and I still don’t really understand why.”

“Kaito… your conditioning makes you love Byakuya.”

“It really doesn’t.”

“It does. We’re not going back to denying you’ve had conditioning at all, and you definitely had devotion training. I thought… I thought if it came between me and your brother, you would pick Byakuya. I thought you wouldn’t be able to help it.”

“Why couldn’t you just talk to me about it?”

“Kaito, you are refusing to hear me.”

“I’m really, really not.” Kaito scowled, turning Maki around and pulling her back into steps with him. Gripping her tightly as he said into her ear-- as close as he could get, anyway, Maki wasn’t the tallest person-- “You were afraid I was going to take away your choices, so before I could, you decided to try to use my new husband to take away mine. Because you decided that if I did have conditioning, Kokichi could make it work, and he could tie my hands. You asked my husband to fucking enslave me.”

Kaito turned her around, Maki looking a little alarmed as he pulled and pushed her into more complicated dance steps again, the teenager on the record cooing out It’s a mechanical bull, the number one as he gripped her far too tightly, glowering down at her. “I gave up power, all the time, trying to befriend you. Did everything I legally could to lift you up. And the second you thought you could get away with it? You tried to enslave me… how the fuck could you do that to me!?”

“Not only that, but you were so deadset on doing it, that you convinced Kokichi that I already was one! Kokichi accused me of not even actually being able to love him, because he was too tied up in Byakuya in my eyes! Gee! I wonder who the fuck put that into his head!?”

“I wasn’t wrong!” Maki shouted, pulling away from him, the two breathing heavily as the song played on, looking at each other wide eyed and sweating, “I wasn’t wrong. You’re in denial, Kaito. You did see Kokichi as Byakuya, you were compelled to obey him, and I… I… I was wrong to take advantage of that, yes! But I wasn’t wrong about your conditioning, or the effect it was having on you!”

“So!? Maybe you weren’t wrong! That doesn’t make you fucking right! You convinced my husband I didn’t love him after you failed to get him to enslave me Maki!”

“BYAKUYA NEEDED TO DIE!”

“THEN WHY THE FUCK IS HE STILL HERE!?”

The song looped. 

The two stared at each other for awhile, before sighing, getting back into position.

“...I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Why not? You were perfectly content to do it before you left.”

“I knew… I knew that would be the final line. I didn’t… I didn’t think you’d ever be able to stand seeing me again, if I did it.” Maki said, resting her head on his shoulder on one of the closer bits. “I thought I’d never see you again. I couldn’t go through with it.”

I’ll send you my love, on a wire

Lift you up, everytime

“...For fucks sake, Maki.” Kaito grumbled, the two barely doing the routine at all now, just leaning on each other as they let the music do whatever it was going too. “You’re right. We are… way too emotional to have ever worked out. Fuck...”

“Mmm.” Maki agreed, sighing, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulders. “And yet, somehow, I’m still raising your kid.”

“Yeah, well, we’re nothing if not fucking extra… thank you.” Kaito sighed, rubbing her back a little as they swayed, “For not killing Byakuya. I’m not naive. I know you could have.”

“I still hate him.”

“I know.”

“But… I love you a lot.” Maki murmured, “...and I’m sorry I asked your brand new husband to enslave you.”

“Yeah, well...I guess at least he didn’t? That’s a good thing to know about someone early into the relationship, right? Will he enslave you to more effectively topple a government structure… not the sort of thing that comes up over dates.”

Maki laughed at that slightly, listening to the song end again, going back to its starting loop. “...damn. She’s going to be so smug.”

“Let’s just tell her it didn’t work.”

“Agreed. Take this to our grave.”

Kaito laughed at that, kissed the top of Maki’s head, and sighed, “...I love you, Maki.”

“... Love you too.”

-

…

What do you do with that?

Drake had been missing Shuuichi. They still saw each other, Drake coming to visit Shuuichi at the castle, but it really wasn’t the same as seeing each other during class everyday. And...it’d be kind of creepy if Drake put off his classes until Shuuichi came back, especially since no one, least of all Shuuichi himself, knew when that would be, so he’d been taking just one class at a time (for all of the single term they were in that Shuuichi hadn’t been there) to hopefully luck out and line their classes back up eventually. 

But!

Drakon knew well enough that his premonitions weren’t really like dreams, unaffected by where your head had been lately. And he knew that they weren’t always about earth-shattering things. 

...still, he felt like he’d violated something very personal to his friend. 

Shuuichi...hadn’t seemed like he was in pain, at least. Just kind of...panicked. Shuuichi wouldn’t have any idea what he was talking about, even if Drake did the dumb thing and just, yanno, spring on his friend that he can see the future.

Still, he made a plan to head to the castle and check on Shuuichi anyway.

Too bad his premonition hadn’t said anything about the sudden downpour.

Drake stood stuck frozen as a very intimidating woman glared at the sizable puddle forming at his feet, a cart with towels next to her.

“There are doormates placed at the entrance for a reason.” Kirumi informed the guest coldly, as she grabbed a towel. “It is considered a courtesy to give yourself a moment to drip dry, sir.”

Though, as she said that, there was a whirlwind of movement around Drake, and… a moment later, Kirumi’s towel was very wet, and Drake was considerably drier. 

“I imagine you’re here to see Mr. Saihara.” Kirumi guessed, as Drake never visited the castle to see anyone else. At least not without visiting Shuichi as well. “I expect you’ll find him in his study. He’s in a delicate way at the moment. I’d thank you not to invite him out anywhere. Have a good day.”

She bowed her head ever so slightly, before walking off, her job accomplished. 

“S-sorry, ma’am!” Drake could barely stutter the apology out before he was in the midst of a towel tornado, suddenly hit by just...an odd sense of nostalgia. There had been another maid at his mom’s work that just...this woman reminded him so much of in this moment. She had been terrifying, but not cruel. The very best of what the lord had demanded of his workers, he supposed. 

What a strange comparison to find in Dicea. 

“Um, thank you, and for the heads up too! Have a good day!”

He still was damp, but no longer dripping and...well, it wasn’t like he was just going to hide out somewhere until he dried off. May as well go see Shuuichi. 

As he climbed the stairs to the study, he wondered if Shuuichi’s snake would warm up to him any. Not that Drake was warm enough to entice the reptile much. 

Gently, he knocked on the door. “Shuuichi? Are you there?”

“It’s open!” Shuichi called back, recognizing Drake’s voice, Nini lounging around his shoulders as Shuichi put down the book he was going through, sitting up on the couch by the window, looking to the door as Drake walked in, “Hey. It’s nice to see you. What brings you in the neighborhood? Visiting your aunt?”

...that would’ve been a good thing to do while he waited to dry off. Damn. 

Drake smiled as Shuuichi came into view, though he just sort of awkwardly stood in the middle of the room. “Oh, I probably should say hi if she’s working, but I came to see you. It’s been a bit,” A little over a week could be a bit. “And...well, I know you guys are gonna be really busy once Miyako’s born, so...I thought I’d stop by? I-if you’re not busy…”

And he’d gotten freaked out and guilty about Shuuichi being...less than comfortable in his vision, so...a visit it was.

“I’m not. It’s always nice to see you.” Shuichi smiled warmly, shifting to give Drake room to sit if he wanted too, the window open and letting in both the warm air and a cooling breeze. 

It was a very nice setting, but the exhaustion on Shuichi’s face was obvious. 

Nini slithered out his little tongue, tasting the air and, once again, giving Drake a distinctly unimpressed look. Chilly. Faaaar too chilly. Why would he ever leave his warm, brood carrying human? Shuichi radiated a comfortable, soothing heat, and Nini liked listening to the two thumping heartbeats. He’d probably take a nap on his humans stomach later, really take it all in. 

Shuichi adjusted his hat as he laughed lightly, “Probably a good call, on your part. Less than two weeks, now. It’s been a long nine months, but it feels like the appointment date is almost sneaking up on me. Strange how that happens. How are things with you?”

Drake hesitated for just a moment, not really wanting to soak liquid into the couch, but he was...he was probably dry enough. At least in the parts he’d be sitting with. 

Hopefully.

Giving Shuuichi a thankful look--and internally sighing as Nini once again decided to have nothing to do with him--Drake let out something of an astounded sigh. “I bet. We only met...what, almost four months ago? And you seemed pretty fed up then. I could see you guys getting antsy enough to plan out the day by the hour,” he nervously laughed, hoping that was enough of a nudge for...something. 

“I’ve been alright. Definitely miss you calling out people’s bullshit in class,” he grinned. “I told you I’m in that class that’s all about admissible evidence, right? The professor makes these...they’re almost like brainteasers? And...sort of mock cases? Some of the evidence leads to wrong leads, and some of it isn’t admissible so we have to figure out either how to get what information it has elsewhere, or choose to disregard it and only look at admissible stuff… I really feel like you’d knock those exercises out of the park.”

Shuichi felt a spark of warmth at that, “I’ll get to at some point. That actually sounds like a lot of fun. I know I’m going to be a bit behind you, but we should try to coordinate taking another class together, when I get back into the semesters. I miss going to class with you. I really wanted to go to school when I did, and even with that in mind, I still didn’t appreciate what I had. I miss it.”

“Oh, trust me.” Shuichi laughed. “Between Kokichi and Maki? There’s a plan for Miyako’s birthday… sorry, Kaito has me saying that. He keeps calling the appointment ‘Miya’s birthday’.” Shuichi smiled fondly, thinking of it as he idly petted Nini’s body, “All our bags are already packed, thanks to Maki, and the process of getting to the appointment is planned to the second, thanks to Kokichi. The only person not planning the day out is Kaito, and he says he’s more focused on the recovery stuff. Which… fair. The day of is going to be very intimidating, but its nice to think about planning for the things after. I’m very lucky to have my family rallying around me.”

By now Drake knew it was true, but every time Shuuichi said something that reminded him that their friendship went both ways… Well, he didn’t see Shuuichi as the type to bother with someone if he didn’t enjoy them too, but...still. It was nice. 

“I’d like that. I’m thankful for the classmates who do agree to study with me, but it’s not the same… I miss our talks over coffee. Oh, and, hey! Next time, you can actually drink coffee again!” Given how often Shuuichi had given Drake’s drinks a soulfully longing look, the vampire knew that the moment Shuuichi was given the go-ahead to have caffeine again, he was all in. 

Drake nodded with a bemused look as Shuuichi outlined his family’s plan for--aw--Miyako’s birthday, and...okay, that sounded like a really thorough plan. Not the kind of thing that would leave people scrambling… Maybe it had just been surprise? Was that even the timeframe Drake saw? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d gotten that completely wrong…

“Sounds like everything’s figured out. That’s really nice, though, you know? You don’t have to worry about anything...you’re gonna be doing enough, but you just have to...exist? And your family will make sure things get done right.” Drake nodded the affirmation, still a little worried, but not sure if there was anything he could do with those worries that Shuuichi’s family hadn’t already planned out. 

“Ha,” Shuichi laughed, looking genuinely tickled by that, “My job is to just exist… I like that. At least for that day, anyway. Annnnd maybe while I sleep for the next, like, two weeks. I’m gonna sleep until my body won’t let me anymore. I’m really looking forward to my body going…” Shuichi shrugged, some of the light leaving him, “somewhat back to normal. I’d really like to lose all this weight. I have a feeling a lot of it is sticking around after the birth, but, well… at least I can start losing it, after this.”

Then, snorting, he rolled his eyes, “Kaito and Kokichi like to gush over my ass. Well, too bad for them. I don’t care if I’m less fun to hold by the end of it, I have to lose at least some of this weight. I just don’t like it.”

Drake turned just the slightest bit pink, making an awkward little coughing sound in his throat. Uh…..well! So Shuuichi’s partners hadn’t been the only people to do that, apparently. It hadn’t been anything too...er...objectifying? So Drake hadn’t, like, gotten into any fights about it or anything, but...college kids, man. 

“Er, your family works out every morning, right? Getting back into that would probably help with your weight goals. Though, uh, y-yeah, not being pregnant anymore would be the big thing,” Drake laughed sheepishly, smoothing out the end of his ponytail, his hair starting to frizz from being soaked then roughly towel dried. 

“Uuuuugh… that’s true, Katio’s going to want me to work out again…. Ugh.” Shuichi pouted, subconsciously rubbing his stomach as he said, “I guess being pregnant wasn’t all bad. I get out of all kinds of things. Such as, for example, going up and down stairs? No more of that garbage. We did our last therapy session for the immediate future, so farewell, first and second floor. I am not climbing those stairs for anything less than this castle being on fire, and even then? It better be a big fire. I don’t care if there’s a garbage can fire somewhere, I’m not going downstairs for it.”

Drake let out soft, sympathetic laughter. “So you’re settled here until the day, then? I bet Nini’s happy to have more uninterrupted time with you...though, if it was just because of therapy, I guess you’ve been spending a lot of time together already…”

“Though, you do have an excuse for the end of time, at least when it comes to Kaito,” he hummed. “Even for...like, unrelated things? You can still pull the pregnancy card. My mom used to say that was one of the trade-offs--you get a child, you get an excuse forever.”

Shuichi laughed, “Yeah, that’s what Kokichi keeps telling me. I think I’ve settled into the idea that I have a sort of personal time limit, on that. Eventually I just want things to feel… normal. Plus, I think eventually I’d feel pretty bad.” Shuichi admitted, smiling as Nini shifted on his shoulders, sniffing at his neck before aiming lower, looking for his stomach. 

“Kokichi and Kaito are basically fighting over who gets to take care of Miyako more. I think if I’m not careful, they’ll just decide to do everything between them. If I want to help, I think its’ going to come down to me sorta… ‘inserting’ myself, essentially.” Shuichi explained, giving Drake a dry look as he said, “Our group therapist keeps essentially accusing all of us of having a ‘self sacrifice’ complex, but honestly, it’s really just those two. They’re both convinced literally everything is their personal fault and responsibility. It’s a little ridiculous to watch, honestly.”

That’s what it tended to come down to for most parents who actually wanted their kid, Drake thought. It was fun to joke about the free card, and maybe even use it here and there when you were tired and fed up, but for the most part...well, you didn’t keep the kid just for shits and giggles. Parents were supposed to parent. 

Giving Shuuichi a bit of a curious look, Drake shifted to rest his chin in a hand--and missed at first, clacking his teeth together loudly--as he considered that. “...I can’t say I see it for you. You’ve always seemed like someone who’s pretty realistic about your limits and capabilities, a-at least to me.”

“...though I kinda get it for Kokichi, if just by reputation,” he smiled sheepishly. “Sure, the leader isn’t actually responsible for everything going on in the country, but they have to be on their shit for a lot. And when people can’t find responsibility elsewhere, the leader’s always the person they turn to, whether for guidance or to point blame. It doesn’t seem like a stretch that he’d carry that into personal relationships.”

“‘Leader’, ‘Prince’, ‘Heir Apparent’.” Shuichi shook his head, a mildly disgusted look on his face as he said, “Just a bunch of kids told they have way more ability than they ever actually did. Of course they’re gonna become control freaks if they’re told all their lives ‘you’re the one in control’. And it’s never even kind of true… Maki had the same problem. Though, with murder, not leading. Maki was given a hammer, everything became a nail…”

“Not that I’m any better.” Shuichi admitted, though… he really only admitted that because he knew, in theory, he wasn’t the most intelligent person in every room, and not all of life's problems could be solved by being the most intelligent person in the room.

...in theory. Emotionally, Shuichi wasn’t entirely convinced. So he didn’t add any further explanation to that last line, before continuing to gossip to Drake, “Trust me, I’ve been around royalty and elites all my life. They’re all convinced they’re the most competent person on the planet, god forbid the rest of us try to get by without them. Meanwhile, they cause almost all of their own problems, and it’s just as often luck as skill if any of their policies or programs work out. And yet! They’re all convinced they’re secret little chess masters, guiding the world…”

“...” Shuichi frowned, hearing himself, before sighing. “Sorry, that’s a whole tangent. Shocker, I have some resentment towards royalty. That I’m dating two princes’ is… honestly mostly a coincidence.”

...to a point. In some ways, people just...agreeing someone had power gave them power. But there would always be things out of any person’s control. And it was when pitted against those things that the people who believed they had power started to falter. 

Or rally. After all, many people together had quite a lot of power. 

But in a lot of cases, faltering was what happened. 

Giving Shuuichi a bemused look, Drake shook his head a bit. “It’s alright. I do respect the work Kokichi and other leaders have done, but...it’s more like they’re cogs in a machine than chess masters, right? The reason why all the laws and practices in Dicea work is...because everyone’s working to make them work, you know? None of it is on the back of one or two people. People who say it is are...kinda delusional.”

“That - That’s just...what I believe, I mean…” Drake gently backtracked, looking a little flustered.

“Exactly.” Shuichi nodded, looking entirely reaffirmed, “The whole concept of royalty and being ‘born’ to greatness… I just don’t understand it. It’s all so pointless. Royalty is just… place holders.”

Shuichi wasn’t entirely certain what he meant by ‘placeholder’, but it felt like the right word, and if he put more thought into it he was certain it’d make sense… but eh. He didn’t really want to put much more thought into it. He had just wanted to gripe about rich people a bit, and now that he had vented a bit, he wasn’t really thinking about it anymore. “Anyway, stop listening to me whine. Are you staying for a bit? Would you like to do something?”

Scapegoats, more or less. At least how Dicea did it, and...that was one of the better working models Drake had seen. The oligarchy he’d grown up in was a bunch of rich idiots trying to constantly one-up each other, only to be one-upped onto another level once the Momotas decided they wanted to be pretty people on a pedestal more than having actual power and let the Flora in. Novoselic was pretty stable, but they didn’t even really have a monarchy, so it wasn’t much use comparing anything. 

The weird thing with Dicea was...that everyone in the country had the power to change things, but even knowing that, they still put so many false expectations on a single family, who were just a few bureaucrats among many. And that family was just...expected to take the blame for everything. It was kind of creepy. And kind of sad. 

But it seemed to work so...Drake just hoped that Kokichi was happy. He seemed to be.

“O-oh, I…” Drake held his hands up nervously. “I mean, I always like hanging out with you, but, I-I don’t want to make you host? I’m comfortable talking here. Unless you wanted to do something! Then I don’t want to stop you either!” 

Shuichi, with a grunt, got up, heading to Nini’s house to put him away-- much to Nini’s distress. Noooooooo, wanna sleep on tuuuummyyyyyy!-- as he said, “Wanna see something incredibly funny? Maki and Kaito have been working on a dance routine to deal with anger issues. Let’s go talk them into showing it to us. There’s this one part where they circle each other clapping dramatically… I literally fell over my side at one point, trying to suppress my laughter. It’s very entertaining.”

Drake’s eyebrows raised in interest, pretty intrigued by...anger therapy through dance? Not totally out there, but the thought of Kaito and Maki--and though he’d only met the woman a few times in passing, while he’d come to the castle to visit Shuuichi, he had a tough time imagining the intense woman dancing recreationally--going through some musical theater-esque performance was… Pff. Indeed, very entertaining. 

“I feel like I’ll be missing out if I don’t at least try to see it…” Drake softly laughed. “Alright, lead the way. Hopefully we don’t have to already break your wishes and head to another floor.”

-

Time passed, and in some ways a lot was happening, and in some ways nothing much at all was happening.

Life, funnily enough, had finally, finally… settled into a routine.

There were exceptions, of course to the routine. 

Every week day, Kaito and Maki and Kokichi all trained with Kimiko, Cali and Timothy. 

One afternoon, Kaito had a tough but important conversation with Savannah, the ex-acolyte asking for guidance on how to handle mixing the religion she had grown up with and the one Dicea called by the same name, the two agreeing to try to do the rituals they knew without Savannah losing access to the community Dicea could provide.

Every weekend, Timothy and Kaito went out to eat at some point, Shuichi helped him study whatever he was struggling with, and Maki tried to teach him some life skills.

One day, Timothy spent the entire day just following Kokichi around. No real explanation. He had just been curious what the Heir Apparent did with his day, and, apparently, following him in the vents wasn’t an option, so…

Every day, the family sat down and ate at least one meal together. It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t a policy. They just… wanted to do it, and it kept happening.

(One day, Kaito went to do more paperwork for Aba’s pregnancy. He sat down with her and they discussed emergency care and had Aba sign a document giving away all right to contact Addadson and sealing her identity from him. Aba cried. Kaito tried not to be cruel, but was so glad he’d never have to see her again soon.)

Every Tuesday, Kaito wrote Byakuya another letter. Every other Tuesday, he actually bothered to send it. 

One afternoon, Maki organized her siblings to spend a day at the park together with her. Kaito barbecued. A volleyball game somehow resulted in a bunch of the kids sitting on each others shoulders, ‘teaming up’ to be one whole person on the volleyball field, it became incredibly dangerous, Maki was pleased at their coordination.

Kokichi still regularly had game nights with Aiichi. These days they talked a lot about parenthood. 

Shuichi slept a lot. Sometimes he got emotional and aggressive. Sometimes he got weepy. Mostly he slept. And Kaito both endlessly worried about him and knew it was almost done. Almost done… and nothing was wrong. Everything was happening right on time, right as expected. 

...so it was mostly Kaito’s paranoia that had him knocking on Maki’s door.

“Hm?” she answered.

“Could you lay with Shuichi for awhile?”

“...hm?”

“I wanna just… everything’s changing soon and… I thought maybe I’d surprise Kokichi-”

“Sure. Fine. Whatever. I’ll watch over Shuichi.” Maki yawned. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Kaito grinned, “Thanks Maki.”

Head back to his room, glancing at the light of the full moon’s light that was shining in, Kaito placed a small kiss on Shuichi’s face, before moving onto Kokichi, placing a few more kisses, before gently squeezing Kokichi’s arm, “‘Kichi… Kichiiiii…”

It was like...an umbrella, of sorts. Something to open and prop up, separate but shielding. But...how to get it...thicker. Not like actual umbrellas, which couldn’t protect your feet, and couldn’t even really fully protect more than your head and shoulders if it was rainy out. Umbrellas that could be turned out by the wind and were hard to grasp, or would cave from anything heavier than rain. Could easily tear…

Kokichi needed to make an umbrella, but...like a metal dome that reached the ground and wouldn’t let anyone in. Not until the kids got one of their own. 

Stronger beams...tougher fabric...vast but sturdy…

Kokichi snorted in through his nose, startling slightly as he felt a hand on his arm, Blinking up sleepily, Kokichi let out a worried hum. “‘S s’mthin’ wrong…?”

“You busy, babe?” Kaito joked, softly placing another kiss against his cheek, before saying, “It’s late. Take me on a walk.”

(Sort of, but...we have time.)

Sitting up a little more, Kokichi scrubbed at his eyes, trying to wake himself up a little more. Thankfully it didn’t seem like there was anything urgent, so he didn’t have to be awake immediately, but...hm. Kaito...like, never tried to wake him up in the middle of the night. 

“...nigh’ hike?” Kokichi yawned, before looking over to give Shuuichi a worried look. “...jus’ us?”

“Yeah.” Kaito grinned, eyes lighting up as Kokichi shifted a little, trying to shake some o the drowsiness off. “Maki’s gonna come slide into bed in a few minutes, keep an eye on him, ya know… just in case. But I thought, ya know… night nikes are gonna be a little challenging soon, so…”

Kaito leaned down, kissing at Kokichi’s neck, snickering into his skin as he said gently, “Let’s go on an adventure, babe.” 

“Mm…” 

Kokichi smiled faintly, warmed by Kaito’s consideration. And Shuuichi would be fine. Probably a lot happier not being woken up in the middle of the night. He might even get a kick out of whatever story they managed to come back with. 

...it would be nice to just...hang out with Kaito, one-on-one. Have an adventure, before they start the really, really big one. 

Turning his head, Kokichi placed a kiss on Kaito’s cheek before leaning away from him, starting to slide out of bed. “Okay… Lemme get my shoes? And maybe a jacket…”

It was by no means cold, but just wearing a thin shirt and shorts outside--if that’s where they were going?--probably would get uncomfortable after a bit.

“Yes!” Kaito shouted very quietly, giving Shuichi one more kiss before quickly heading to the closet, saying quietly, “I’m gonna get dressed real quick too. Five minutes!”

Fifteen minutes later, Maki knocked quietly at the door.

Kokichi, more awake now and dressed in a light cardigan and his tennis shoes, opened the door, giving Maki a thankful grin. “Thanks for comin’. We’ll try not to be out too long.”

“You can stay out all night for all I care. Your bed is mind now.” Maki informed him, giving Shuichi-- still entirely passed out-- an amused look before looking around, “Where’s--”

“Five minutes, five minutes!” Kaito whisper shouted through the bathroom door.

“Uh huh.” Maki said, giving Kokichi a knowing look, before sliding into the bed. “Just don’t gel your hair up, Kaito.”

“What if someone sees us?” he said from the bathroom, outraged.

“He’s yours. You deal with him.” Maki rolled her eyes, passing the buck to Kokichi.

Sighing, Kokichi nodded, giving Maki another grin before he headed into the bathroom. Pouting, Kokichi slumped forward and put his arms around Kaito’s waist, smothering his face against his husband. “If you gel your hair, you’re gonna wanna shower when we come back. And I’ll get sad and lonely since I’ll wanna cuddle immediately, ‘cause we’re gonna be all tired when we get back.”

“...also, if you take much longer, I’m gonna get sleepy and crawl back into bed and I’ll be too tempted with Shuu-chan and Maki-chan cuddles to wanna go on an adventure with you.”

“Tsk. It’s like you don’t even want me to be a trophy husband, Kokichi.” Kaito tutted at him, finishing brushing his hair out with a conditioner, having been planning to start gelling his hair next… nnnnnn, Kokichi might actually abandon him for Shuichi/Maki cuddles, mmmmm, “Fine. Hold on, just let me smooth my eyebrows real quick.”

Smoothed eyebrows later, Kaito grinned down at Kokichi, “Out! Let’s go out! We’re doing it, we’re going out!”

“Leeeeaaaave alreaaaaady.” Maki groaned, putting a pillow over her head, “How Shuichi sleeps through stuff like this is beyond me.”

“Thanks again, Maki! Let’s go, babe.”

“You can be a trophy husband in the morning… And compared to me just rolling out of bed, just washing your face is enough for people, of which I doubt we’ll really run into many, to be like, ah, woo, yeah…” 

Kokichi yawned again, smushing his face even more against Kaito. 

But Kaito was eventually ready, and with one last wave to Maki, and sweet look at Shuuichi, they were out the door!

...and Kokichi had no idea where to go. But he put on shoes, so may as well head outside. 

Taking Kaito’s hand, Kokichi leaned his head against his arm as they walked down the stairs. “...just feelin’ like bein’ out for a bit? If I didn’t think it’d be a habit to our detriment, I’d say we could still take Miya on walks while we’re trying to help her get to sleep…”

“Nah babe. Like I said. We’re going on an adventure.” Kaito told him with absolute certainty, squeezing Kokichi’s hand a little as they headed down the stairs. “We’re in the capital of Usott on a warm spring night. Something is happening somewhere.”

Kaito didn’t really know what an adventure in Usott ‘looked’ like. But, well…

“I just woke up and wanted to go out.” Kaito admitted, grinning down at him. “And, like, if I go out by myself, it’d be kinda lame and lonely. But going out with my ‘Kichi? Very cool, very fun, I’m the envy of the town.”

That was true. There were probably parties going on, maybe impromptu concerts, or even planned concerts heading into the wee hours of the night for a crowd who wanted just that. Groups of friends convening at late-night diners, maybe a group planning out a series of games in the park… While Kokichi had never thought of his city as chaotic at night, he knew it wasn’t placid. There were always people up and about, living in accordance to the rules of their specific life. 

“Mm, people are really envious of me just strolling around in my pajamas. Peak comfort.”

…

“...it would be really fucked if we got married as teenagers, but...sometimes I wish I could’ve met you earlier,” Kokichi said quietly. “So we could just be...carefree kids together.”

“Pfff,” Kaito laughed, giving Kokichi a raised eyebrow, before looking around at the lush, if dark, flora, “I love how in your hypothetical, we’re still meeting each other through marriage. I would have liked to have met you ages ago, and spent the last year trying to think of the perfect way to propose… and, like, I spent the first six months of us dating desperately trying to get into your pants.”

Kaito paused, thinking about it, “...four months. You’re kinda thirsty yourself, you’d have probably only made me chase you for four months. I think getting you to agree to a date with me would have taken way longer than getting you to enjoy me. If we were friends first? You’d have known better.” Kaito laughed.

Kokichi snorted and pressed his body against Kaito as they started to wander aimlessly through the city. “I wasn’t doing a full fantasy. There are plenty of ‘what if’s to play with otherwise--if we’d known each other forever, or met through a vacation or school trip or something, or if we clicked immediately or spent years respectfully at each other’s throats…”

Maybe it was just because they were out doing another ‘last chance before Miya’ thing, but Kokichi had just...felt some grief for his childhood and young adulthood. This past year had been full of experiences that Kokichi had never thought he’d get to have, but still… The thought of friends out being reckless and having fun in the middle of the night, somewhere in the city, it made him feel kind of longing. 

Rolling his eyes, Kokichi shrugged a bit. “I am thirsty, but I’d wanna try out dating you before we did anything, even if I had been your friend. I know it can be fine just fooling around with someone but...I’d feel weird. Even if it didn’t last, I’d want to get to know someone romantically for a while first before sleeping with them.”

“Right, right… soooo, five months?” Kaito smirked, winking at him. “Four months and fifteen days?”

Kokichi snorted and bumped their hips together. “A month of mutual wooing and uncertainty, since we’re both kind of idiots, plus four months of dating to figure each other out in that way?”

Kokichi gave his husband a wink. “Honestly, I’d bet on it happening sooner.”

Kaito laughed, lifting Kokichi’s hand kissing at the back of his hand (truthfully, he also thought it would have happened sooner, but… he really liked the idea of Kokichi making him work for it more. A Kokichi who knew what he was worth.) before, idly, spinning him, before pulling him back. Kissing at his temple.

They walked in the warm breeze, the quiet of the air. There was definitely people out and about, but… well, it was easy in this area for the city to feel a little empty, as they walked down the hill. 

“...I was feeling kinda sad tonight.” Kaito confessed, “I couldn’t sleep. I’m sorry if you’re tired, babe. I just… kinda didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts right now.”

Kokichi giggled as Kaito pulled him into a spin and he took it with light, bouncing steps, pressing close as Kaito kissed his head. He had no way to know how he and Kaito would’ve fallen in love in any other set of events, but...if he fell as hard and fast as he did in reality? Maybe two months. 

Taking a deep breath of the city air, Kokihci couldn’t help but think back to their nights on the road when they were headed for the coast. The air had a different taste, the night sounds filled with rustling and chirps and bird calls rather than the dull buzz of the city that Kokichi had never even noticed until it was gone. He liked them both, though. All just...different experiences. 

Kokichi looked over at Kaito and squeezed his hand gently. “I’m awake now,” he smiled, “And I’m happy you chose me to be your company. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe? Yeah? But, like… I want us to also have a good time, ya know? And me rambling about all the nonsense in my head.” Kaito gestured vaguely towards his temple, shrugging. “That’s a bummer. I don’t want to be a total drag on our night.”

“I just… I get confused.” Kaito confessed, glancing up at the moon. Sky full of stars… “I love you. Shuichi, Miya, Tim and Maki… and I like our lives here. But man… I just kept thinking tonight how… pent up I feel. I just wanted to get up and move around and just go, ya know? Not away, or for awhile, I just…”

“....do you ever wish your life had been different?” Kaito asked, “Like, really different. In a way that matters. Not… vague, ‘I wish I could have gotten Shuichi to wear that sexy underwear I got him’ kind of ways.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a look, but let the silence fall for a moment. Maybe just that opportunity enough for Kaito to continue, after making his disclaimer of sorts that he didn’t want this to get heavy, even if it would. And...it seemed like Kokichi’s guess was right. 

He followed Kaito’s gaze up to the stars and the moon, gently running his thumb down the side of Kaito’s hand, though he did snort at the comment of Shuuichi’s sexy underwear. He wasn’t going to try and goad their lover into them, but...he didn’t think the sizing made them unwearable after Miya’s birthday. 

“...sort of. There are things that I think about, sometimes, that would make things really different… If the war never started. If I reached out to people, or someone kicked in the door to me. If my mom never died… If I had been born to a family out in the country that was more focused on our farm than anything else…”

Kokichi quirked a smile before looking over at Kaito with a shrug, something a little tired in his eyes, and not from being woken up in the middle of the night. “It can be a fun thought experiment, sometimes. But it always falls apart on me. Because...if anything had been different, I wouldn’t be me.”

“...I spent a lot of time thinking it’d be nice to not be me.” Kaito admitted quietly, looking away from the sky. “I mean, yeah, I’d lose a lot, but… I spent a lot of time this year imagining myself just lost in some other country. Just on the move, constantly. Off having adventures, no one knowing who I am, no history.”

Kaito worried his hand by itself, rubbing his thumb against the joint next to it… before laughing at himself. “But, honestly? I’ve had that daydream my whole life, and I never followed through, with a lot less to lose than I do now. I just wish the thought would leave me alone for good. Sometimes I’ll go weeks or months at a time and it doesn’t occur to me at all, and then suddenly… I just can’t stop thinking about it. And it makes me sad. Knowing I never did it.”

Kaito suddenly stopped, holding Kokichi’s hand as he considered him, magenta eyes shining in the moonlight… and he grinned. 

“Run away with me, Kokichi.” He said. “We’ll get on a ship and keep going south until we end up on the other side of the world. We’ll learn enough of the languages we encounter to get by, try new foods, meet fascinating new people. We’ll see deserts that glisten like diamond and arctic beds so white we have to shield our eyes. We’ll have new names and be responsible only for ourselves, and every day we’ll do something new and exciting.”

“...” Kaito’s face fell, his shoulders sinking, as he continued sadly, “And we won’t even miss our lover, and our heart’s won’t break thinking of our children, and we’ll never feel guilty of the responsibilities we left behind. Not even for a second. And Maki totally won’t catch up to us and absolutely kill us for being irresponsible shitheads. What do you say? Doesn’t it sound perfect...”

...yeah. Sometimes the thought of just...erasing the board entirely was there. And at that moment, Kokichi remembered one of their revelations; that the feeling of ‘no more’ that pushed Kokichi to suicidal thoughts pushed Kaito to want to run away. And in that context, Kokichi could relate. Being happy for long stretches, and not actually wanting to trade his life, but never truly, completely free from his mind unfairly pushing him down a horrible path. 

Kokichi smiled sadly at his husband. “Nothing sounds better than having adventures with you, Kai-chan. And you’ve already made every day an adventure to me.”

“...just talking about travel?” Kokichi softly continued. “For so long I wished for it. There’s so much in the world I want to see… But having gotten a taste now...I think I’m the type that only likes that stuff for vacations. Kai-chan has such a wandering freedom in him, I think that’s what makes me feel like the world is at our fingertips when I’m with you. But I think I’m the type that’s meant to put down my roots and let them ingrain deeply.”

“Even having the option, I still spend so much time at home, and while I really like being out and visiting new places, there’s always a part of me so excited to come back home.”

And that wasn’t even touching on all the responsibilities that Kokichi didn’t think he’d ever truly be able to tear himself away from. 

Kokichi sighed. “But the feeling of...wanting to run? I’ve been feeling it less. I’ve finally found a way for my mind to finally give me a break and just...let me be happy where I am. There’s a lot of peace in not having that catch or thought in the back of your mind.”

Kaito sighed, running his hand through his hair, trying to push his now untamed fringe out of his eyes. “Yeah… yeah.” He pushed his hair back, a conflicted look on his face for a moment, one part sad and one part resigned… before he suddenly grinned. “That is a good thing, though. Hell, it’s a great thing! You’ve always deserved to be happy, babe.”

Pulling Kokichi into a hug, Kaito held him tightly, just wanting to envelop him a little. “My ‘Kichi deserves every good thing in the world. He…” Kaito laughed, kissing the top of his head, “He probably did not deserve his weird, pent up husband dragging him out into the cold in the middle of the night.”

Hugging him tightly for a moment, Kaito loosened his grip. “Ya know. Relative cold. Colder than our bed, anyway. I really have no idea what we’re looking for… do you still wanna look around?”

Kokichi hugged Kaito back tightly, wanting to hold and love and...give so much to Kaito. “You deserve to be happy too. You deserve to have people love and admire and respect you. To greet the day with a sense that everything’s more than just okay, but that it’s good.” 

Kaito deserved much more from life than what he’d been given. But Kokichi was determined to make sure Kaito got all that stuff now, even if it never made that running feeling completely disappear. It was okay to have that feeling, and when it came up, Kokichi would be there to go on impromptu walks in the middle of the night. 

Nuzzling at Kaito’s shoulder, Kokichi placed a kiss to his chest. “Yeah, let’s walk a little more. I dunno what we’re hoping to find either, but...that walk itself is nice, and I like being out here with you.”

Kaito lit up at that, his chest warming (and his stomach tightening) at that. His husband really was incredibly sweet. “Alright! Forward then! Let’s go see what’s out here!”

So… what was out there then?

As they got more into the actual heart of the city-- Kaito more and more painfully aware of how they both looked the more densely populated the sidewalks got-- the main thing he saw available was music. Pubs, restaurants, and bars that were still open, which was most as the ‘relatively’ early hour of midnight, had their doors and windows open to let in the warm night air as music and the sounds of people washed out. Lanterns were lit, and plenty of people were sitting, eating and drinking, outside on small, round provided tables and overly intricate small, metal chairs. 

Kaito, at one point, lit up as he smelled the familiar aroma of a hookah bar, glancing up at the second floor of one of the buildings, where the windows were letting out the scent above. He highly doubted Kokichi could even kind of safely go to a place like that, but the scent filled him with warm memories, and his mood lifted a little at it. Maybe he’d see one day if one of his friends would wanna visit it.

Kaito looked around, rubbing the back of his neck. Hmmmm… Kokichi likely wouldn’t want to drink. Kaito wasn’t hungry. They could just listen to some music, that could be nice enough itself, but…

He caught the sight of pool tables, and pointed it out to Kokichi, “Eh? Wanna try a game? It looks like no ones using it.”

Different from what he usually saw from his bedroom window--since pretty much everything with a nightlife was separated from where residential districts were--the city was very much still alive at this time of night. Where Kokichi would be long fast asleep, some people’s nights were just getting started. It was really weird, since once upon a time he’d be more than awake up into two, three in the morning. 

Kokichi sighed softly, happily nodding his head to the music that filled the air around them, enjoying the little snippets. No concerts for a while, except for festivals, but it’d be nice to go to one sometime… Kokichi didn’t even really have a preference for what kind of music, he just wanted that atmosphere. Though he’d enjoy it too, in the best case. 

But there was something nice, too, about just walking through the city with Kaito’s hand in his, peaceful among the slight hectic energy around them. Just...being amid life. 

He wouldn’t mind participating, though.

Kokichi’s eyes lit up, intrigued by the prospect of a game, though he soon turned his attention around, trying to get a better look at the place the table was in. “I’d love to, but...can you see if the balls and cues are out by it? Some of these places you have to rent the supplies to play… Could be a free night or something.”

Kaito squinted, not sure… “Eh, let’s just take a look. Should be pretty obvious right away, right?”

He led the way inside, and while there wasn’t live music like a lot of the other places, there was a jukebox playing in the corner, going through most likely a random song as a few people sat in a corner, fussing over some sort of card game. At the bar counter, a few people were drinking together, flirting, and while the bartender did give Kokichi and Kaito a nod as they walked in, seemed largely uninterested in them otherwise.

Kaito saw the supplies leaned against the wall, and called out through the mild din, “Hey! Can we use these?”

“‘S what they’re there for.” The man called back, not even paying the supplies in question a glance, “They don’t walk out of here though.”

“Course! Thanks!” Kaito grinned, having been expecting, not so much a rental like Kokichi had said, but at the very least a ‘costumers only’ policy. Kaito might buy a single shot just as a form of patronage, which was largely how they did it in Luminary, but the guy didn’t seem worried about it either way. Guess the place wasn’t hard up for money.

“Alright! So, babe.” Kaito said, pulling out the triangle and starting to set up the balls, “You ever played?”

Hmmm, looked like a game bar? Or maybe something close but outside of definitions since the owners just did what they wanted. There were a lot of places in Usott like that. But the atmosphere was calm and cozy and while Kokichi couldn’t always pick up what the song on the jukebox was, the music was always in the background and made for a nice cushion of sound without being too loud. 

Excited as they got the okay from the bartender to play, Kokichi helped Kaito get all the supplies to the table, humming with a nod. “A few times. There’s a pool table in one of the rec rooms on the second floor at home, and sometimes I’d get to play with youth clubs that rented out the room, or when people stayed over during the snowstorms.”

“Sometimes Denji-chan and I’d play together, but...we used to get into a lot of fights and...after a while we just stopped going. Not really a reason to do it, I know,” Kokichi frowned with a slight shrug, “But we both just kinda chose to do other stuff. Maybe I’ll invite them to play again sometime.”

“You and Denji have a… strange relationship.” Kaito mused, taking the chalk piece and cleaning up the end of his stick, before passing it on to Kokichi. “I mean, I have no room to talk, I made friends with Maki, but… I dunno. How did they manage to… you’re not really…”

Kaito had realized halfway through his question that the question itself might not be the kindest one. He paused, trying to think… “Well, we’ve talked about this before. You’re not an ‘in on the joke’ kinda guy. How did Denji manage to get around that?”

Kokichi shrugged a little bit, not quite realizing that by saying that ‘we got into a lot of fights’ implied fights between Kokichi and Denji, and Kaito’s question not ringing that clarification bell for him either. Chalking up his cue tip, Kokichi smiled softly.

“Denji-chan is probably one of the most confident people I’ve ever known, but they didn’t always know how to wield it. They might’ve stormed the castle and made their own job, but...I mean, they were thirteen. Of course they were terrified too.”

Gesturing for Kaito to break, Kokichi sighed softly as he brought up old memories. “We butted heads a lot, two nervous kids that tried to make their egos bigger than life. For me...it was kind of fun. I never really had anyone to fight with, growing up. I think that’s something I’ve always liked about them. Sure, they’re a little more tactful with me than other people for some stuff, when it comes to my health and all that...but Denji-chan’s never been wary about bickering with me.”

Twirling the cue between his hands, Kokichi smiled ruefully. “...I was in a really bad place after Ikuo left...I’ve told you, right? But...even when everyone else was treating me like I’d shatter...Denji-chan was still there, taking jabs at me and expecting me to fire right back. At least...emotionally? They’ve never treated me like I was weak. And they’ve never seen my vulnerability as weak either.”

To Kaito, a thirteen year old jabbing at a ten year old who just lost his only real parent seemed… like a rough start to a friendship. But! Kaito knew he was a little biased against Denji still, and… maybe it really had just been the kind of normal interaction a little kid Kokichi had needed. Just someone treating him normally. 

“You’ve told me a little bit about it, yeah.” Kaito said, as he knocked the white ball, the various colors scattering, as he asked, “Stripes or solids? Or you wanna just see what we knock in first and go from there?”

Stepping back to let Kokichi go, Kaito fussed with his goatee a little, scratching at its root a little, the hair feeling a little tangled and shifting without its gel. “Ikou left at ten, and you were… well. Rightfully really pissed off about it. Though, I know you kept up letters and stuff with him regularly, so I’m guessing that feeling faded over time?”

If it sounded like a prompting question, it was. Kaito still really knew barely anything about Kokichi’s childhood. Kokichi had mostly talked about himself back when Kaito had first started getting to know him, and it had been a long journey of finding out that none of that had been… not lies. Kaito still didn’t consider them lies, even after all this time. But not quite… right. Either. And then after that, Kokichi had just stopped talking about himself.

Kaito supposed now he knew why. Kokichi had thought Kaito resented him talking about himself like that. Or, talking about problems in general. Kaito was trying to make more of an effort to be more actively interested, now. Rebuild some of that trust, maybe. He was working on it, anyway.

“Stripes!” Kokichi wasn’t even looking at the layout of the balls--he just liked playing stripes. The design of the balls wasn’t that different, but playing with a fashion-minded sibling had cemented a preference of taking the option to loudly declare that anything with a print or design was superior to solid colors. Fun times.

Leaning up on his toes to line up a shot, Kokichi’s tongue peeked out of his mouth before he hummed lowly, glancing up at Kaito with a worried look for a moment. “Yeah… That first letter he sent me helped a lot, and every one he sent after that helped all that...resentment go away. ‘Course I never knew exactly when he was writing those letters, but...he sent me so many, Kai-chan. All the time. And in every one he always reminded me how much he cared about me… Someone trying to leave me behind wouldn’t do that.”

“He shouldn’t have left, but...he didn’t let that mistake compound. I was never left guessing about what his feelings were, and while it was slow, we were able to keep up with each other’s lives.” Sighing, Kokichi took a step back as he flubbed a shot. “For us living with our decisions...we made things work.”

Kaito nodded, lining up his own shot. He liked solids more, anyway. They had a sleek look to them. He had always thought stripes were a little goofy. There was one near the far corner, and he knocked one to knock it in… “Ah, damn.” Kaito cursed, chuckling at himself as the ball literally barely moved once hit. Not that way then. 

“You know… I never knew anyone who went off to war, growing up.” Kaito realized, watching Kokichi line up his shot, “The people at my school didn’t grow up to be enlisted, and no one I knew growing up finished academy schooling to be officers before I left. I knew plenty of officers who worked at the castle, and of course you have the older veterans. But when it comes to, like, active duty people heading off to war? I never knew anyone like that. The military in Luminary is kinda its own… community. It’s own whole society, within Luminary. And once you’re in? They don’t really get too many chances to get to know anyone outside of that community. One of my classes at school was literally about maintaining moral within a company? It’s actually really important, because active duty military end up really isolated and lonely, if we’re not careful. They’re literally only one percent of our population, and they don’t talk to anyone else, really.”

“But your soldiers were just… civilians deciding to go. Like, literally just random nanny’s and housekeepers from the capital castle itself. And then they all just… came back? And went right back to it.” Kaito shook his head in astonishment, “All our soldiers are just stationed somewhere else now. And even then, they probably aren’t. Obviously I’m not in the know anymore, but most likely they’re just finding new uses for those bases at the border. Training camps maybe, or giving it some sort of specialty storage and task… people didn’t come home, just cause the war was over. That’s just where they are.”

Looked like they were probably even in skill, when it came to pool, then. Though, Kaito would have an advantage just from his height, able to see the table from more angles and actually able to reach balls in the middle easily. But Kokichi had never let that stop him before. 

Kokichi gave Kaito an odd look, as he explained more about what the war looked like in Luminary. And...Kokichi could barely imagine it. Kaito hadn’t known...anyone? No parents of friends, or someone’s cousin going off to fight… But...in Luminary, it wasn’t exactly going “off” to anywhere, really…

It...kind of sounded like the military was its own nation, and just...was a giant, mercenary organization nation for Luminary. It sounded just as foreign as Dicea’s situation probably sounded to Kaito. 

“...I can barely even conceptualize that, honestly,” he murmured, leaning over the table a bit to try and get a shot. “People in the military being...so far removed from everyone else. I was in kind of a unique spot, knowing at least all the names of who was fighting, but...even other than the people I knew personally? You could see the war’s impact everywhere.”

“People out in the street, talking about someone they knew going to fight, support groups for people considering it, anti-war protests, veterans doing talks about what it was like… People used to get together and make care packages to send out to our divisions, you know? Families of militia members would do it themselves, but...I mean, there were plenty of people who left who didn’t have family. So they’d send out just kind of...general care packages. Knit-ware from one of the crochet clubs, seasoning mixes, sometimes preservable food like types of jam or smoked meat, friendly letters, small games…”

“It’s...hard to imagine not having that kind of connection to at least someone.”

“Yeah, it’s just a thing there. You either have them in the family, marry one, or you don’t really know any active duty person at all.” Kaito shrugged, grinning as Kokichi’s shot rang off, “Ey! Nice! Good shot,” Kaito leaned against his pool cue a bit, thinking about it, “...Ya know, I never heard about this, growing up. But considering how common it is for none career soldiers to go to war here? You guys probably had way more people on the front lines. Like I said, we’re only one percent, and a majority of our soldiers weren’t at the border. That’s one of the drawbacks of having a strictly career service. You can’t just throw everyone at one spot. Too many other things need maintaining, regardless of the war or not. Our forces are broken up into a bunch of bits. It sounds like Dicea’s fighting force only focused on the front lines, exclusively.”

Kokichi grinned at Kaito, basking in the praise before he turned back to make his next shot. Though, what Kaito said next made Kokichi look back at him, complete confusion in his gaze. “...what else does your military do? If people volunteered here to go to war...I mean, yeah, there were people going just for communication, or as medics, or to help with...housing, I guess, for lack of a better term, but...if you volunteered, then you were going to war.”

...wasn’t that the purpose of a military?

Katio paused, actually needing to think about it for a moment. Raised in an environment where he always at least idly heard about the military efforts from the generals reporting to his father, to learning about it’s actual, technical structures at the academy, Kaito had never thought too hard about the tasks the military was given outside the war, and having to define it now…

“...it’s a lot of ‘maintaining practices in case we go to war’, but like… everywhere else.” Kaito summarized, that being the easiest way to do it. “And helping folks either prepare their own military or fight their own wars. Ha… man, after losing a massive, two decade long war, that’s actually probably gonna make some, uh, more tense negotiations… ah, fuck it, that’s Kaede’s job to worry about.”

Kaito watched Kokichi take his next shot, giving him a small smile as the balls went all of nowhere in particular, before lining up his own shot again, trying to dislodge that solid ball from the corner it was stuck in. It was so tantalizingly close to the hole...“We help protect Novoselic’s trade routes on the sea, basically have a few bases set up there so that if they get invaded we have ground troops there immediately to lend assistance, and in turn they have ships patrol our coasts to protect us. We have a few bases in Kimigashine, Rabbit Doubto. We had one in Panem, but the civil war made it impossible to maintain, the treaty fell apart when their ruling government got replaced with two new feuding political bodies, so we pulled out of there. We have a base at the border of Danganronpa, but Danganronpa’s just as strict with military placement as they are with all their other shitty little secret keeping policies, so they have bases in Luminary but we don’t have bases there. And we have to partly maintain their bases with us as well, same as the Novoselic navy bases on our land and the Kimigashine bases here…”

“And there’s a lot of bases in the middle of Luminary whose main purpose is to just train and field test and coding stuff, all of that has its own bases, and those bases have to essentially serve as functioning mini-towns because most active service members live on base, so you need to fill the bases with more service members who do standard of living stuff, cooks and maintenance and security and paperwork… all of it adds up. Bases all end up kinda self-functioning, but they need so many people to maintain that functioning, active duty status that relocating any significant portion of their populations essentially means leaving the base to fall apart and become functionally worthless. Even if we’re not in a combat situation, all of it needs maintaining and care, all the time.”

“The bases at the Dicea borders were just the only ones in an actual, combat situation. Now they’re going back to the same state all our other bases are. Just kinda endlessly maintaining themselves, finding specialties, sending portions of their active duty service to do training or, like, emergency rescue stuff for natural disasters, local volunteer stuff, mostly to keep people busy and keep the locals happy with us…”

Kaito shot his shot, grinned as this time he dislodged the little sucker, popping it into the hole, before saying, “...damn, I’m really just getting into it, huh. Sorry babe. I have too much random military knowledge and no functional use for it anymore. I’m just running at the mouth here.”

Kokichi listened attentively to Kaito’s explanation, a little...astonished honestly, that...to practically every other country in the vicinity? War and preparing for war was just...a business. Protecting trade routes made sense, since pirate or privateer attacks could be vicious, but...having bases in different countries? Training other countries’ people how to prepare for war?

He wasn’t naive enough to believe that that preparation wasn’t needed. Having just gone through a war, it would be wholly irresponsible and blockheaded of him to believe that. But to have a whole, normalized culture around it...it was bizarre. And kind of unsettling. 

But...mostly it was just interesting. 

(It wasn’t his job to rule the world, and Kokichi didn’t want to either. He didn’t have to compare Dicea to what so many other countries were doing, as long as his people were safe and happy.)

“Nice shot!” Kokichi cheered before shaking his head at Kaito. “You don’t have to apologize--I asked, and you having the knowledge base to go so in-depth? It’s fascinating, hun. I thought it, but...you explaining all that just...it’s almost like the military is its own country that just functions under the greater jurisdiction of Luminary. It’s...honestly incredible to hear about.”

“Thanks,” Kaito said, preening a little-- fuck it, he was allowed, it had been a nice shot! He had missed that shot before! Hell yeah!-- before lining up another one, not really even kinda trying to hit anything in, more just trying to shift the board around a little as he said, “And honestly, it really, really kinda is. They even have their own laws and lawyers and punishment systems. Ugh, if I never have to read another damn article in my fucking life… man I hated the paperwork stuff. So much paperwork.”

Kaito was lamenting, but he was admittedly hamming it up a bit, knocking the balls and watching the spread out a little, stripes and solids alike, as he straightened up, “I do wish I had gotten a chance to actually work on a base for a bit. All that schooling and I never had a chance to use any of it. Though, on the plus side! Didn’t have to shave my goatee or gel back my hair. You have to be a high enough rank to wear facial hair, and while in uniform, there’s very strict ways you have to wear your hair. My classic spikes was not going to cut it. It would have been tragic.”

Kokichi snorted a bit as Kaito griped about military paperwork, looking at the table to decide his next shot. He wasn’t the best at bankshots, but if he nailed it there was an easy in…

“There’s definitely stuff to learning for learning’s sake, but...you were going for practical knowledge. Even if I’m really glad you never joined the war, that’s still frustrating to have worked to gain so much knowledge just...to not apply it.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kokichi lowered himself to be eye level with the table as he took his shot. “...there were regulations on what you could look like? That’s nuts…”

“Oh yeah, you guys don’t have uniforms, do you. That’s… wild.” Kaito said, shaking his head in astonishment. “You all don’t have academy’s or bootcamps either, huh? Augh… now that’s something I wish I had gotten to prove.” Kaito pouted, watching the balls bounce, knocking each other around, “My time at the academy was a lot easier than others. Momota privileges. And one I always felt kinda shitty about was my mother and Byakuya just getting a letter of exception written for me for bootcamp? It’s literally the first thing you’re supposed to do, but… well, they just didn’t like the idea of me going.”

“But!” Kaito grinned, looking irrationally excited, even though it was in no way happening now, “In our final year of schooling, there’s this survival training program you can do? It’s a wild experience, they throw you in the wilderness to survive, put you in cages, try to mentally break you and stuff… anyway, it’s only meant to be for certain types of officers, but I had sneakily signed up for it. It sounded cool! Like a super weird, intense experience. I really wanted to see how I’d have handled it! I like to think I’d have done well.”

“It would be a little weird to suddenly make uniforms for something that people were constantly coming and going from,” Kokichi hummed. “The people who went to go fight were just...athletic people, or folks who knew fighting techniques for self-defence or for sport. Trying to have them all conform to a single idea of what should work would be handicapping ourselves, so people fought with what was comfortable for them, and with tools they had more familiarity using. Probably not the most efficient, but it was what was best unless we wanted to waylay everyone who left for training...which would probably mean we’d either get far fewer volunteers, or people just leaving on their own to fight.”

With Luminary pressing the border, it was either accept the eclectic habits of the volunteers, or watch people individually, chaotically try to fight without internal communication. One way or another, Diceans were going to defend their home. They had just been trying their best to organize everyone. 

Snorting, Kokichi shook his head a little as he shuddered. “That...sounds awful. It’s one thing to try and do some minimal wilderness survival, but if people are...actively trying to sabotage you and hurt you? At least people can’t accuse me of being an adrenaline junky.”

“Aw, I didn’t want it for the adrenaline. I wanted it for the... “ Kaito shrugged, “For the pride of saying I did. For the credit it would have given me within the community I was getting ready to be a part of. Like, I got out of bootcamp, and almost immediately there was this, like… divide, between me and the other students. They all had stories and experiences and in-jokes and, yeah, even this sense of shared trauma that I just… could not understand. I could sympathise! I could listen. But I couldn’t really understand it, not like how they understood each other.”

“And it was embarrassing still. To have literally gotten a note from my mother, saying I couldn’t go.” Kaito admitted, rolling his eyes, “Something literally everyone around me was expected to endure and overcome, and I was the guy that… well, I know what she meant by it was that she thought the practice was beneath me. But what it looked like was that I was too weak to handle it, and on top of that, was snubbing my nose at everyone who was strong enough to try for it. It put me in a really awkward starting place… so I thought, ya know! The survival program would get me back on track. I’d be able to relate more to everyone else. Understand more, ya know?”

“Hell… maybe I would have even at least got a taste of what Maki and Shuichi went through.” Kaito said, the balls cracking again, one rolling in without much fanfare as Kaito readied another shot, mind lost in his point, “Been able understand them a little better… I dunno. I had a lot of reasons that made sense to me, to want to go.”

“You get that same sort of longing when you talk about school stuff with Tim, I’ve noticed.” Kaito said, letting Kokichi take his shot. “Has the art class thing you’ve been doing helped with that at all?”

As much as it went against Kokichi’s instincts when it came to maintaining a community...he could understand that. It wasn’t a matter of what the culture should be--it just...was already, and Kaito had been excluded from a big part of it, had been set to one side of a divide that he was already on because of his class difference, and hadn’t had the chance to even build a bridge. 

...though, putting yourself through pain and hardship just to understand others who had gone through pain and hardship wasn’t…

Kokichi blinked up at Kaito, a little...surprised at the connection, though he supposed Kaito wasn’t totally off base. School was an experience Kokichi had never gotten to have, though...his longing for it wasn’t really in the hopes of connecting with others. 

“...not really?” he truthfully shrugged. “Art class is its own thing. It’s still something I really enjoy, I like learning about more artists and techniques and getting critiques, and I like chatting with other people in the class and being able to relate over struggling with certain concepts ‘n stuff, but...that’s just something entirely new to me.”

Kokichi flushed lightly, looking around as he twirled his hair. “...what I feel like I missed out on for school...I don’t think it’s something that I’ll ever have, really. Because I’m never gonna be five-to-eighteen again. It’s just...an environment I’m never going to have gotten to grow up in. And that means that other kids are never going to have grown up with the lessons I got but...like, people don’t really have any concept of those, you know? While the school experience is...everywhere. Plays, novels, people reminiscing about it and comparing like but different things from school to school… Comparing what my lessons were like isn’t even a comparison because they’re so different. There’s no benchmark to use.”

“...still… I hope I’m more inspiring Tim to enjoy his school days, rather than coming off as bitter and envious…”

That made sense to Kaito. There were some experiences you couldn’t recreate later, not after the time for them was done. And Kokichi had just… missed out on most of the standard childhood experiences. 

But… “Well, Tim’s just your first taste into all of that stuff, anyway. Miyako’s going to be the whole experience. All the ups and downs… you’re gonna get to watch her do all that stuff, right from the beginning.” 

Another crack of balls. In the corner, the people playing the card games got briefly louder, apparently one of them doing something impressive in their game. Kaito looked over at them in amusement, shaking his head a little. Looked like one of those fantasy card games. He never could get his head around those. 

“You know what I’m not looking forward too?” Kaito chuckled, shaking his head, “The dirty diapers. The diaper-bin we got looks like a damn trash can fortress, and I have a feeling that’s for a reason. We’re all gonna stink.”

Kokichi laughed, though there was a resigned sort of tone to it. Not dreading, but aware that it wouldn’t be a pleasant time by any stretch of the imagination. “There are so many seals on it...and it’s so deep! I feel like we’ll wanna clear it out pretty often, but we’re just going to fill it up just as fast, aren’t we?”

“I’m really looking forward to just...seeing her go through life,” Kokichi hummed once his laughs calmed down. “Seeing her come across stuff we can relate to, other stuff that none of us even have a frame of reference for… She’s going to be her own unique person with a perspective and experience all her own. For as much as I might get a little jealous...it’s way more exciting to know that it’s hers.”

Kokichi twirled the cue around in his hands, a grin forming on his face. “I definitely want her to have her first campfire s’more sooner than I had mine. Tim could show her the perfect way to roast marshmallows…”

Kaito chuckled, though a part of him was deeply looking forward to seeing Tim in a big brother role. He… he just wanted his kid to have a nice sibling relationship. Not anything weird or complicated or whatever, just a boy and his baby sibling. Someday a teenager and his kid sibling. Someday even further out just two adults, one a little more settled, the other starting out. Someday just… friends. In the same place in life, with a lifetime of history between them.

...he just wanted it to be better for them. 

“You can go ahead and say all the good things you’re looking forward too. I’m going to complain while Miyako still can’t hear dad grumbling to himself.” Kaito laughed, biting his tongue a little as he lined up what looked deceptively like a sure thing, “What else am I not looking forward too… hmmmm… all the baby books have gone out of their way to assure me that you can do literally everything right… and she will still scream for hours. So!” He took the shot, sighing as the shot went wild, “That’s gonna be something.”

Kokichi snorted and stepped back up to the table as Kaito missed his shot, shaking his head a little. “We’re all going to develop tinnitus, I’m calling it. We’ll all plead with her to calm down, but Miya’s gonna have a mean set of lungs and she’s gonna use them. I’m glad only Maki-chan’s room is nearby… People understand, but it’s still not great to be kept up all night by someone else’s kid.”

“...mm, her throwing up all the time? I’ve heard it’s not as bad as vomit when you’re eating solid food, but it’s still gonna be gross. I’m so thankful Ikuo got us that pack of burping towels… We’re gonna go through them like crazy.”

Kokichi took a shot, pouting as the ball just barely bounced off the lip of the hole.

“We’re both so bad at this.” Kaito laughed, shaking his head again. “No offense, babe. But we have, like, three balls in between us. Shuichi would have destroyed us by now.”

“And nooooo, the vomit! I forgot about the vomit.” Kaito turned red a little as some of the people at the counter gave him an annoyed look, giving them a semi-apologetic wave, before saying in a lower tone, “Everything coming out of every end, all the time… she’s gonna be so gross.”

Kaito laughed, grinning brightly, not looking terribly disturbed by the idea, “Books said we gotta watch her nails too. She gonna have little baby claws, apparently. Didn’t know babies come with stuff like that. Maybe she really will be a little wolf.”

Kokichi laughed, agreeing with Kaito. They’d been at the game for maybe fifteen minutes and there was, like...no breakaway of either of them looking like the winner. He probably could buckle down a little more and maybe do a little better, but...it likely wouldn’t be that significant, and he was having more fun just chatting and having a good time. 

Shuuichi would probably get a laugh tomorrow when they regaled him of the story of them both being awful at pool. 

“She’s gonna be a little mess machine,” Kokichi stuck his tongue out. “How can so much gross stuff always be coming out of someone so small?! It’s a true mystery.”

“But at least she won’t have teeth for a while.” Sighing, Kokichi shook his head sympathetically. “Though when they start to come in? Poor Miya’s gonna have even more to cry about. I’ve looked into some teething toys, but that’s not gonna help all the weird feelings of them growing much.”

“Ah, that’s another one I forgot about.” Kaito admitted, running his tongue against his teeth and wincing, “Yeah, that’s gonna be a bad time. Poor baby… all the little aches of growing. Well, you wouldn’t remember. Growing was such a long time ago for you.” Kaito smirked, “Trust me, your joints ache for awhile there.”

“Oh shut it,” Kokichi rolled his eyes, though there was a noticeable upturn to the corners of his lips, letting Kaito know he wasn’t genuinely annoyed. “I did have a growth spurt, thank you very much. ...it just wasn’t a big one.”

Kokichi sighed a lament. “My poor girl...there’s no way she’s gonna get my shorty genes, I can feel it. Her body’s just not gonna get a break, getting all the way to giant size.”

“Maybe.” Kaito said good-naturedly, “The odds are stacked against you, I’m afraid. Everyone in my family is pretty tall… though, I was tallest.” Kaito grinned, looking a little unreasonably proud of that fact as he said, his voice hushed, like it was a secret, “I was even a little taller than my dad. Just a little, but, ya know...that was pretty wild, the first time I noticed that. Couldn’t bring it up cause, ya know…”

Kaito shrugged. “Guy had a temper. Could never be entirely certain what would upset him, so it was best to not tease or joke or, like, anything like that. Now he was a compliment guy. Or, well, maybe he wasn’t like that with people who could be casual around him, but unless he was making the joke? No one could risk joking with him. You’d see people who didn’t know better try it, hoping to get him to like them, force more familiarity…” Kaito shook his head, grinning as a ball went in, scratching at his cheek, pleased as he said without thinking about it much, “You try to warn them. Everyone always thinks they’re gonna the exception. Poor bastards… man, now that’s something I hope Miyako doesn’t inherit. Temper problems are such a hassle.”

Kokichi nodded solemnly, though he grinned a little at Kaito letting him in on the little secret that his giant prowess was that even within his family. They didn’t know Shuuichi’s parents, but the fact that he was a little on the taller side was clue enough--add in that all of Kaito’s family was tall, and that Kokichi just happened to take after his mother rather than his father (and even then, there wasn’t much of a way to tell if he would’ve been tall if he’d been born at the right time) and it all spelled out that Miya was going to fit right in amongst tall Dicean women. Horrible achy growth-spurts and all. 

Giving Kaito a curious look as he talked casually about his father--a pretty rare thing to happen--it...felt in line with what Kokichi knew about Leon. And with Kaito’s own anger issues… Kokichi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck a bit. “At least we can be on the lookout for ‘em in her. ‘Course I don’t want her to have temper issues, just like I hope she doesn’t inherit depression or anxiety or anything like that, but...at least we know, right? It’ll still be something she has to contend with, but knowing what’s going on, and having options to temper or cope with it...hell, it would’ve helped me by miles growing up.”

“Yeah… we’ll get her her own little weird meditation rock thing.” Kaito said, lining up another shot. Feeling like now that he was warmed up he was getting the hang of it, “And, like, if it gets to that point, medication. I don’t think all the hugs I dolled out in the world could compete with the effect that medication had on you.”

Straightening up, balls going nowhere useful, he laughed, “Don’t get me wrong, I’d have tried. But good ol’ Kaito loving could have only done so much, I think. Honestly, I’m half expecting Shuichi might end up on something at some point, and I’m betting Miss Crystal just didn’t wanna introduce it during the pregnancy. God knows he’s already struggling enough, no need to try out more mind altering substances on him just yet.”

“Support from you guys is huge,” Kokichi said impassionedly, “But...yeah. Medication helps a lot in getting me past that hump so that I’ll actually let you help. I get the spirit to fight from you, but medication makes it, like...physically possible. Having extra energy and being able to think through panic is quite the advantage.”

Leaning over the table again, Kokichi was tipped enough that his toes were barely touching the ground as he made his shot, the ball not quite going where he aimed, but ending up in a hole anyway. “...a lot of those medicines have warnings about being used while pregnant anyway. Probably just so you have a talk with your doctor and keep an eye on things, but still… If Dr. Ford recommends something to Shuuichi, and he decides to try it out? I hope it works as well for him as it does for me.”

“It’s just...nice actually feeling like myself again, rather than a version of me always doing damage control…”

Kaito snorted. “Yeah, I feel that.”

The whole last year had been nothing but damage control. But… it really had all calmed down remarkably. Sometimes Kaito was waiting on the other shoe to drop, but… so far nothing had gone remarkably wrong since Maki had come back, really. And him and Maki arguing wasn’t remarkably wrong. It was kinda just expected after everything. It sucked and it hurt and Kaito sometimes felt small and damaged and unimportant in a friendship that had meant the world to him…

But they would get through it.

And maybe come out of it with some kickass dance numbers.

“Never know what’s really gonna help.” Kaito mused, hitting another shot. “Sometimes we just get lucky… like that. That was very much just me getting lucky.” He laughed, two more solids in at once, “Wow!”

“Oooh!” Kokichi gave his husband some light applause, laughing along with him. “Wonderful shot! And even if it was luck, you still instigated it by taking the shot. So...to continue overly philosophically...what might help might be complete luck, but you still need to seek out opportunities to make that luck happen. Making your own luck, as some people say.”

Kokichi looked over the board, stifling a yawn that snuck up on him with the back of his hand. “...I know I’m not that far behind, but it really feels like I need an exceptionally good run to have a hope of winning. It’s hard to see the right through-lines…”

Kaito raised an eyebrow, before smiling fondly. “You tired, babe?”

Kokichi gave Kaito a small smile. “Yeah… It’s late. But I like being out here with you, talking. S’not like I have to get up super early tomorrow anyway…”

Kaito leaned against the pool table, giving Kokichi a warm look as he said, “Alright… but we can go whenever you’re ready. I got a lot of that nervous energy out of me. I know I can be a little…” Kaito rolled his eyes and shrugged, “Overdramatic. So, thanks for putting up with it, babe. This has… really helped.”

“...Bet I can do a trick shot like this.” Kaito said, half sitting on the side of the pool table, just shy of aiming the cue stick entirely down. “How much you wanna bet?”

“I’m glad…” Kokichi softly said. “I know it happens a lot to you, but...it’s no fun getting stressed and nervous in the middle of the night. If I don’t have to be up early the next morning? You can wake me up to chat or take a walk or something. It makes me feel better knowing that you’re alright.”

Raising an eyebrow at the trickshot pose, Kokichi smirked. “Five copper you can’t get one in a hole.”

“You’re on!” Kaito said excitedly, planning to jump the solid ball over one of Kokichi’s stripes, with it rolling triumphantly into its hole.

...and only a little genuinely disappointed when he just knocked Kokichi’s stripe in instead. “Damn.”

Kokichi blinked, his expression a little astonished before he sighed. “...I never specified which ball you’d sink. I’ll pay up when we get home…”

“Pfff, you’re too generous babe.” Kaito grinned, leaning over to give him a quick kiss, before saying, “Double or nothing I can do it again!”

-

It ended up being Kaito’s game in the end, which had thrilled him. He never won games! “Seriously, babe, I’m cursed, games go out of their way to not let me win. I think it’s a demon curse, I swear… but heck! It’s broken! The curse is lifted!”

Kaito laughed, his arm around Kokichi’s shoulders, the two walking down the sidewalk slowly, taking their time getting home. He placed a kiss against Kokichi’s temple, whispering to him, “Maybe you lifted my curse. My sweet, beautiful ‘Kichi… my good luck charm.”

“...E… excuse me!” Said a skinny man with messy, ocean blue hair and wide, excited eyes, stepping out of the shadow of an alley with such earnestness that Kaito immediately squared his shoulders and tried to make himself seem bigger, pulling Kokichi closer to himself, “Excuse me, Prince Kokichi?”

By the time they left the bar, Kokichi owed Kaito about thirty dollars--would’ve been fifty, but Kokichi had made a few fancy trick shots himself--and he was more than ready for bed. It was probably...what, around one in the morning? Far too late for someone who ended up going to bed around nine every night. But he was happy to have helped Kaito escape his demons for a night.

“What a weirdly petty curse to put on someone,” Kokichi snorted, pressing happily into Kaito’s affection. Kaito was...partly supporting him, Kokichi just barely keeping back from the point of wanting Kaito to just carry him home. “But? If winning a game means the end of it? Then you’re cured, and I’m happy to take the loss.”

Kokichi jolted a little, mostly startled by the sudden appearance of the man, but he easily smiled and gave Kaito’s back a pat. “Hello! Great night, isn’t it--I’m glad it’s finally getting warm enough to hang out without a coat. How’s it going?”

The man smiled earnestly. He was a little strange to look at, emanating a feeling of constantly being in motion. If one arm was steady, the other started moving. If he was standing still, he shifted the weight in his thin, lanky hips. His light gray eyes were slightly too wide and seemed to be trying to look at everything at once. His hands lightly shook, constantly. 

And he clapped his shaking hands together jovially as Kokichi greeted him in turn. “Oh! Fabulous, fabulous! I’m so glad I decided to double check the alley, I wasn’t actually expecting you to come to opening night but I was secretly hoping! I was worried I sent you the invitation too late, if I’m honest, I suppose I’m lucky you checked your mailbox!”

Kaito gave the man a mildly baffled look. Glancing down at Kokichi to get a read on how he wanted to handle this. 

Kokichi blinked in surprise, getting...a clearer idea of why this person had hailed him down in the first place, and it wasn’t for the usual reasons of friendliness and novelty that people usually talked to him for. But he still...didn’t know what this was all about.

Giving the man a slightly apologetic smile, Kokichi tried to explain. “Oh, I’m sorry, I haven’t gotten any...event opening invitations? My husband and I were out for a walk. Happy coincidence, I suppose. What is this opening night for?”

...it looked like a regular alley to him. Was...it a night market or something?

“Oh!” the man looked genuinely surprised, one of those crooked, amused smiles that people got when they realized they had made a harmless misunderstanding… but then his sharp shoulders fell, as he said considerably more disappointed, “Oh. Oh, well, that’s entirely understandable, please, don’t - let - me - interrupt, I’m- sure - you - and - your - husband - are--”

“Wooooah, woah, slow down friend, I don’t know about Kokichi, but I can’t understand you when you talk that fast.” Kaito grinned, feeling more at ease now that the dudes creepy vibes were, well… no less creepy, but at least less overtly alarming. “And it’s late. You said this was an opening night? Maybe we can come back to the next… what is it you said it was?”

The man blinked in confusion, before gasping, “Oh heavens, I haven't! How abhorrent of me! My endless apologies, I’m a little frazzled, we’ve been planning this for quite some time and and still so many things had to be done last minute and oh we are about to start and I should be getting back--”

“Back to what?” Kaito tried again.

“Haven't I said?” The man asked, looking startled, “Oh I haven't! A thousand more apologies. We’re a Magic Lantern theater. Our first show is tonight!”

Kokichi blinked, looking a little lost as he tried to process what the man was saying, but thankfully Kaito spoke up to get a clearer answer, and what it was…

Kokichi’s eyes widened four times as large as his usual as he gaped at the man, his sleepiness forgotten for the moment as he leaned forward, bouncing on his toes. “Like, like those moving picture shows?!? I knew people were working on it but - but I didn’t know you all were making a theater!! I can’t believe it, congratulations on opening!!”

Turning to Kaito, Kokichi’s eyes were just a little too wide to be called puppy dog eyes, but they were pleading all the same. “Can we check it out?”

“...moving pictures?” Kaito asked, looking confused. “What, like… puppets?”

“No, what? No - no - no - no, puppets, ha ha ha.” The man laughed, looking absolutely scandalized, before laughing harder, “Oh! A joke! I see! Quite good, very good, a wit about you!”

“Uh… yeah?” Kaito laughed, his grin slightly confused, but more than willing to take that out. “Puppets! Yeah! Obviously not puppets… uh…” 

He looked down and… obviously immediately melted at Kokichi’s excitement. “If you feel awake enough for it? Whatever you want, Kokichi. Um,” Kaito looked at the man, rubbing the back of his neck, “So we have seats available?”

“Three were reserved for you for the first week, just in case! Oh, wonderful, wonderful, this is quite exquisite, please, both of you follow me! We’re set up in the cellar!”

Kaito’s grin remained on his face as the skinny man opened up two wooden doors partially lodged in the ground, a staircase leading down beneath the building… but he leaned down to Kokichi and whispered, “If this gets weird, just, uh… close your eyes and let me take care of it, okay? I won’t take it too far, I promise.”

As they headed down the staircase, Kaito felt more and more apprehensive, worried this was a trap. Ready to pick Kokichi up and run their way out of there if he needed too…

But as they got to the bottom of the staircase, Kaito’s eyes lit up, as he saw dozens of other people, milling about the nicely, if cheaply, decorated room, which the owners had clearly tried their best to make feel less like a cellar and more like a theater. Nice chairs had been set up over inclines rows, all filled with people who were cheerfully talking together, and one wall was clear, covered in a sturdy, white cloth. 

Setting up a machine at the very top row, a woman who looked almost exactly like the man, but slightly less manic, glanced at the entrance and said, “Oh! Look at that, they actually came!” She said, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, an incredibly thin screwdriver in her hand, “Just in time! I was just about to dim the lights!”

Kokichi nodded eagerly, giving Kaito a soft smile. Honestly, it was a pretty niche up-and-coming art form. Kokichi liked to keep up to date on what was going on in the art world, so he had heard of the experiments with moving pictures--a combination of the idea of a flipbook and working with photographic projection--but...it would be pretty novel for the average person to hear about. 

That people were setting up a theater in town...wow.

It was really late, and he was tired, but...seeing a Magic Lantern show…

“Thank you!!” Kokichi squeaked, trying to keep his voice shushed but too excited to really be successful. Squeezing Kaito’s hand as they followed the blue-haired man, he gave his husband a soft smile. “It’ll be okay, I’m excited…!”

Kokichi was a little surprised by the amount of people in the set-up theater, pleased that so many people were interested. Looking up, he gave the woman by the projection machine a little wave before following the man’s gesture to what he presumed were their saved seats, wiggling in his seat as he gave Kaito’s hand another squeeze. “Watch, watch!”

Seeing that his guests were set up, the man gave them both a low bow (slightly different from a Lumnary bow, his hands, head and feet all in the wrong positions) before giving a thumbs up to his twin, who gave him a distracted ‘go ahead’ motion. 

He went up to the front of the room, and once again gave that slightly wrong bow to the audience, looking around excitedly as he said to the small audience, “Thank you again, or everyone coming to the first showing of Ala and Alla’s Lantern Show! I know that it’s a late hour-- the restaurant whose cellar we rent unfortunately closes pretty late and - we - can’t - play - while - they’re - open - cause - the - players - are - too loud - and -”

“It’s late! Thanks for coming anyway!” Alla called down, hopping from the top row down to lower the lights, before heading back up to the lantern. Kaito took the moment to look at the machine she was setting up. It looked like a wheel with an actual, literal lantern inside of it, lit and projecting light onto the white cloth wall. The woman seemed to be prepping a bunch of metal wheels to be fastened to the main wheel. Huh. No puppets, he guessed. Maybe for the best.

The man, Ala, laughed, a high, giggly sound, waving his hands limply as he fanned his face, practically wiggling in place as he said, “Oh, I’m all aflutter! So exciting! Alright, The shows about to start! We are excited to present to you, Alice’s Adventure Through Wonderland!”

Kaito raised an eyebrow. What, like, the country? What was…

Kaito’s eyes widened as Ala left the stage and, setting up a different machine then the one Alla was working on, music started to play through the room, the only light coming from the machine above as the sound of the wheel turning started and…

A woman, strangely quiet even with the music playing, smiled at the audience, before stepping away revealing behind her a vast city in the distance with strange, curved architecture. Everything looking vaguely like they were meant to be imitating a drawing of a heart. The woman, presumably Alice, then pointed excitedly to the ground, not wanting the viewer to miss the fact that the path was set up in a chess pattern, her expression the clear joy of someone doing something she loved as she pointed at the city.

Then the city and girl disappeared, and there was suddenly text on the wall, somehow as jumpy and slightly sped up feeling as the girls movements were.

WONDERLAND IS MADE UP OF FOUR SECTIONS, 

EACH WITH A ROYAL FAMILY!

HEARTS, DIAMONDS, SPADE, CLUBS!

ALICE VISITS THE KINGDOM OF HEARTS FIRST!

“...what is…” Kaito whispered, looking over his shoulder briefly to confirm the movement was coming from the machine, before looking back to the image in wonder, “Wow. Are these pictures?”

On the screen, still slightly odd and clunky moving, the scene was now in the city, where Alice had clearly asked some locals to pose and smile for the… Kaito had no idea. Camera? Was this all being done by a camera? How?? Their outfits like nothing Kaito had ever seen before, in either Luminary, Novoselic or Dicea. Their hair the strangest thing about them, big and resting on the top of their heads like balls or towers. Their faces even in the grainy image cleary all coated in a very thick paint as they smiled for the camera, waving.

WONDERLANDIANS LOVE THEIR HOME

AND DO MUCH THE SAME THINGS WE DO!

The next few images just showing people going about their day in the city.

THOUGH THEY ALSO HAVE THINGS DICEANS HAVE NEVER TRIED!

Kaito blinked. Were they… playing a sport with live birds? Or, oh, no, it was just a stick that looked like a bird… still didn’t recognize the sport though. The next title card informed the audience it was named ‘Crochet’. A Wonderland sport! 

Kokichi watched the--siblings? They seemed like it--presenters open up the show with rapt attention, and though he could barely contain his wiggling while they set up, as soon as the girl’s image appeared on the screen he went still, slack-jawed with awe. 

Not only was is just...a marvel of art and technology, but...it was about one of his favorite childhood stories too? And Kaito’s too, if he remembered right…

Kokichi gasped softly as his eyes bugged, watching...well...fantastical illustrations come to life. An entire world and landscape of the imagination appear right in front of him as if it were real, the lack of color the only thing keeping it from seeming like he could just step right into the world. 

“Moving pictures…” Kokichi whispered to his husband, hugging his arm, though his eyes barely even blinked, let alone left the screen. “This is incredible… Are they going to do the whole queen escape scene? How did they even pull this off…?”

Kaito had thought this was some sort of tour of the country wonderland, and was amazed at how strange everything was over there, but… he frowned slightly in confusion, as ‘Alice’ the guide met a knight who couldn’t ride his horse correctly and…

Oh! “Babe!” Kaito whispered to Kokichi, “I think this is ‘Through the Looking Glass!”

“Shhhh,” said the woman next to Kaito.

Kaito pouted-- what, could she not hear the classical music? But still, “Sorry,” he mouthed at her.

Kokichi nodded excitedly as Kaito realized what they were seeing as well. It was incredible… This wasn’t just a test of the technology, showing off a new, burgeoning medium that people would be refining and experimenting with--the experimentation was already here! The first showing, and it was of a fantastical, well-beloved story… Amazing!

Giving a bit of a guilty smile somewhere in the direction of the shush--though his eyes were still glued to the performance--Kokichi fondly rested his head on Kaito’s arm, happy to share this experience with his husband. But as amazing and ground-breaking as it was, theater etiquette still applied. Let other people enjoy what you were enjoying too. 

...though reactions were okay. As members of the Heart Kingdom scrambled around the sporting field, moving around the goals so that certain balls--which, amazingly and...a little unsettlingly, though Kokichi couldn’t imagine they were real, were curled up hedgehogs, just like the book--would or wouldn’t score, painting a humorous scene that the sport of Croquet in Wonderland was not a game of skill, Kokichi giggled softly, a few characters running into each other and overdramatically falling back in their haste.

Kaito was amazed by everything on the screen, but as he felt Kokichi softly giggle against him…

Kaito’s eyes drifted down, quietly watching Kokichi’s expression, illuminated by the glow bouncing off the cloth. That enraptured, happy look on his face, the sheer ease in his body as he rested against Kaito, perfectly content to watch. Getting lost in the story.

Kaito felt a swell of love and affection overwhelm him, for a second. Every joy in the world, for Kokichi… if Kaito ever had a say in it? Every joy in the world. How could he ever deny him anything?

By the time Kaito looked back to the screen, Alice was running from the Kingdom of Hearts, men in charming, if simple, card costumes giving chase, Alice losing them in the Forgotten Forest. Kaito smiled curiously at that. The forest scene had been one of his favorites as a kid, or, at least the part of the story that had stuck with Kaito through life. 

Alice walked through the forest, the card men getting confused and wandering away as the title screen reported.

ALICE ESCAPES THE CARD SOLDIERS

WHO FORGET THEY WERE CHASING ALICE

BUT OH NO! IN THE FORGETFUL FOREST

ALICE HAS FORGOTTEN SHE IS ALICE!

Kaito was curious if they would actually use… oh! Look, they did! Alice, after awhile, came across a deer, who did not remember she was a deer. Alice and the deer decide to walk the forest together, feeling safe together… and Kaito gave a soft, small sigh as they got to the end of the forest, both remembering who they were.

And the deer runs away, because she remembers Alice is human, and doesn’t feel safe anymore.

Kaito had always loved that scene. And always felt a little sad at it. 

Kokichi smiled as the deer ran away, but...it was a more subdued smile than before. He had always thought that scene was fascinating...and he hadn’t been the only one. 

...she’d helped him drag some of the more comfortable chairs over to his worktable, the copy of Through the Looking Glass open next to a journal, half just working thoughts, half better edited points. And they had talked about consciousness. What it meant to be a person, and what made you you. Are you your memories? Are people blank without them, or would there be certain behaviors they would be drawn to when they had nothing else? What dictated those behaviors?

If a person committed a great crime, but forgot about it, are they still accountable? Was it still them? If a person completely forgot a loved one, would they still be in love? Was the person the loved one loved gone?

They had talked for hours, and not just on that occasion. His uncle had come to debate too--he had been the one to suggest Kokichi’s essay in the first place, trying to make schoolwork align with what the child already was interested in. Hideki’s answers and theories and questions had been more about real-world applications than philosophy, like hers had been. And Kokichi had thought about both. 

(Faced with the actuality of it now...Kokichi didn’t believe Kazou was on the hook for that bastard’s crimes. It wasn’t just memories, it was an entire personality, changing that nebulous, philosophic stuff that had tripped up the theories before, and...that counted for a lot. They were different people.)

Kokichi wrapped his arm around to hug Kaito’s arm, a betrayed, longing ache pinging dully in his heart.

The movie, all in all, was a little over a half hour long. The scenes were fast paced and occasionally a little bare bones, but considering how often Ala had to change out wheels to get from scene to scene, Kaito was a little amazed it was even that long. This seemed like so much effort. 

But, as Alice sat down at her coronation party, having just spoken to the fly and looking a little bored now that she had won the game-- the quest of becoming queen more fun than being queen, apparently-- Kaito smiled as Alice decided she had had enough, causing mayhem at the dinner… before it looked like they made some sort of fuzzy effect by pouring water on the camera? And when the screen cleared, Alice was a normal child playing with toys, before-- according to the ending title screen-- happily went off to have dinner with her family. 

The screen went dark, the music faded, and for such a small audience, it was a thunderous applause. 

“Woo!” Kaito whistled, “Incredible!” As Alla and Ala both headed up to the front, turning on the lights and giving the audience a pleased look. 

“Thank you! So much! For coming to the first viewing of the Ala and Alla Theater! We plan to have, uh, more acceptable hours of showing soon!” Alla laughed, looking a little sheepish as he giggled, Ala nodding in agreement, “Along with more variety in viewing! But this first proof of concept has gone amazingly well! Thank you to all our patrons, and thank you to Prince Kokichi and his husband, Prince Kaito! For joining us last minute at this late hour!”

It was...stunning. In some ways even more incredible than Kokichi’s imagination, though it was a greatly condensed version of the story. Even though it was leaps and bounds longer than the technical showcases Kokichi had read about, the longest of which he remembered as being about two minutes. 

Choosing to make a whole story, and make it the length of a short play…

At the end, Kokichi stood in his applause, cheering with the rest of the crowd and clapping so hard his hands stung. “Phenomenal!!! Spectacular!” 

(He was always proud of his people, but...sometimes they managed to make things truly magical. When people were cared for and encouraged...they could really do anything.)

Blushing a bit as the showrunners thanked him and Kaito specifically, Kokichi offered a little wave, feeling a bit flustered to have been made a big deal about when they’d stumbled in by chance, but...he hoped that they were happy about it. And Kokichi would definitely be telling everyone about their theater for weeks!

...but the hour really was late, and the awe of seeing new art for the first time was wearing off. Giving Kaito a sheepish smile, Kokichi tilted his head a little. “...I know Maki-chan said it would be fine if we were out all night, but I hope she really meant that…”

Kaito kissed Kokichi’s temple, the two getting up and shuffling out of the row as he said, “Maki doesn’t tend to say what she doesn’t mean. I’m sure she’s fast asleep right now… or as asleep as Maki ever is. Ala! Alla!” 

Kaito raised his hand as they headed towards the exit, giving the two operators a wave, “Amazing show! When the hours are a little easier? We will definitely be repeat customers! Right, ‘Kichi?”

Kokichi gave the showrunners another enthusiastic wave, his smile bright as he nodded, though the desire for sleep was beginning to creep into his eyes again. “For sure! I’m a little tempted to wake our partner up and tell him all about how incredible your work is, but…” Kokichi trailed off in a laugh, letting people fill in the blanks of it being a horrible idea to wake your nearly due boyfriend up in the middle of the night, without straight up saying that Shuuichi would murder him. It was a joke, and people would probably take it like that, but...Kokichi was still careful about making those kinds of jokes about his Luminous family members around others.

“I’ll definitely be on the lookout for your schedule!! Thank you for having us!”

With that, though, he and Kaito made it back up into the night air, a little chillier than it had been, and while Kokichi wasn’t cold, it made him glad he’d brought his cardigan.

Both the operators gave the princes appreciative looks-- knowing that even just word of mouth association with the princes would get more people aware of the theater, extra important during these difficult starting hours and out of the way location-- and wishing them well as the princes’ got outside. As normal, Kaito barely noticed the slight chill, it not getting to the point where it could content with his natural body heat, but noticing that little shift in body language in Kokichi…

Kaito suddenly chuckled, “It’s cute you think you’ll get the chance to wake Shuichi when you’re gonna be absolutely out by the time we get back.”

Then he scooped up Kokichi, resting him against his chest as he started the walk home. 

“...you had fun, babe?” Kaito asked softly, knowing he had, but just wanting to hear it. 

Kokichi snorted softly as Kaito scooped him up, but...well, he probably would’ve asked for it before they made it home, and Kaito’s claim that he’d be snoozing away by the time they made it up to their room was entirely accurate. Settling into Kaito’s arms and enjoying the heat to combat the chill in the air, Kokichi couldn’t help going tense with excitement for a moment, still pumped enough to stave off sleep for just a little longer. 

“It was incredible!!” he chirped. “Like...I enjoyed our game, don’t get me wrong, and I’m definitely looking forward to playing you again sometime while Shuu-chan looks on in worry because we’re both so bad compared to him, but… Kai-chan.”

Kokichi stressed his husband’s name, even repeating it as he nestled closer to Kaito’s chest. “Kai-chan. We just saw a Magic Lantern piece. Sure, there have been theories about it for ages, but...someone actually making a moving picture?? This is like...seeing artificial light for the first time. And it was so cool on top of that! They did a whole play!”

Kaito chucked, squeezing Kokichi slightly in a small hug before re-focusing on keeping him steady and comfortable. “I had no idea that even a concept. I mean, it was something straight out of a sci-fi novel. I don’t read too much of that sort of stuff, but man, maybe I should. Seems like they might be onto something. That was incredible to witness… makes me wonder what else is possible.”

“And I love that story. I thought they were doing a tour through actual Wonderland, at first, but I figured, as strange as culture shock can be, it was probably not an actual visit if people were riding their horses backwards.’ Kaito chuckled, “I love that book, but that’s the drugs talking right there. Took me a second to realize it was Looking Glass. Thought the Alice thing was a cute nod to it.”

Kokichi nodded eagerly, even as his eyes were starting to close. Just to rest them, at least for now. “It’s not really in the realm of stuff Miu does, but...kinda because of her projects, I keep up with technological journals and sections in the paper ‘n stuff. People were talking a lot about animation? The process of, basically, making a flip book, but having it go automatically, to an extent… And that’s kinda what started the talks around how to project them, as far as I understand. But...people were like, why stop there? So they started developing special cameras that could take pictures really quickly so they could make Magic Lantern performances with...basically, real people and places too.”

“And adding a lot of prop-work to take it even further, apparently,” he softly laughed, his mind running through the unbelievable images of the performance. 

“Mm, I like that they kinda made it seem like that at the beginning, huh?” Kokichi hummed. “Reminds me of all the theories that the book was supposed to be about the unsettling feelings of culture shock. Sensationalizing how different a place can be.”

“Oh yeah? That’s an interesting way of looking at it. I’ve always heard that the guy visited Wonderland, took some of their hard drugs, and just wrote down everything he thought he saw.” Kaito laughed, before admitting, “Could just be a tall tale. But my eleventh grade Literature teacher sure as heck believed it. Oh, that’s something you might not know about schools, ‘Kichi~. Teachers, even the smart ones, sometimes just say some bizarre things. And when you’re a kid? It can be wild, because you’re so used to just accepting whatever they say as fact, and it’s only looking back that you’re like… that was… just inaccurate.”

“Maybe I’ll give you some fun examples sometimes,” Kaito laughed softly, kissing the side of Kokichi’s head, “When you’re not half asleep on me.”

“Heard that too,” Kokichi mumbled, body relaxing more. “And considering that Wonderland is known for having some hard stuff...I believe it. But I always thought it was kind of a mixture of stuff… Artists can have multiple perspectives and intents with their art...and Allen’s struggles to make sense of the bizarre world around him is able to resonate with a lot of people… That’s art too. Not the artist’s intent, but what people take away from it.”

Snorting softly, it tickled Kokichi to think of the influence teachers had on their students. Of course he knew there was influence--especially when you would have consistent teachers for years and years of your school career--but...you never really think too much about little things they believed that their students would pick up on.

“I’d like that… I like hearing about your school days…”

“Mmmhm.” Kaito hummed, yawning himself a little, before saying, “What can Kai-chan talk about that it won’t be a big deal his sleepy-Kichi is going to fall asleep on him. Hmmm…”

“I haven't been on a ship very often,” Kaito admitted softly, his voice a steady, easy rhythm, “But we were transported by ship to Novoselic when we went to visit my cousins and god parents and grandparents. And that trip by sea always took about three days. I used to love exploring that ship top to bottom. I barely slept at all, those three days, because as interesting as a ship can be during the day?”

“There’s something really… beautiful about it, at night.” Kaito said softly. “They turn on all these red lights, every passageway glowing with this strange, otherworldly glow. And it’s never really quiet on a ship, the engine roaring and the ocean and wind whipping outside, without everyone up and walking around and talking. It was… peaceful. The ship rocking you back and forth, soothing. There was all these little nooks and crannies, rooms that only seemed to exist because of the design of the ship, little empty crevessas or filled with storage that everyone’s obviously forgotten about for years.”

“And when you went outside? It was so dark, Kokichi. So dark. And the ocean was so loud… and when your eyes eventually adjusted and you got steady on your feet? You could peek over the side, and sometimes, the water being pushed aside by the ship seemed to glow. A bright, pretty blue light, and as your eyes adjust, a dark horizon that goes on forever, the whole ocean lit up by the moon and the stars…”

Kaito sighed, rubbing Kokichi’s back a little, “...I’ll show you someday. I think you’ll love it.”

Kokichi settled in, very aware of the purposefulness of how Kaito was talking, but...it was alright. It was beyond late, and he was going to fall asleep soon no matter what. Getting a soothing bedtime story in the arms of his husband was a wonderful way to conk out.

And, thankfully, he’d just need to sleepily kick off his shoes and shed his cardigan, so he didn’t even need to fully wake up when they got back home. 

Travel by ship… Kaito didn’t talk about it even a noticeable amount, really, but...Kokichi got a sense of rightness from his husband when he talked about the ocean. Not a sense of romance, exactly, but...just that it was right. The happiness a person could feel in the mundane when they were right where they were supposed to be. 

And hearing that in a lulling tone that could rival soft waves…

It wasn’t long before Kokichi no longer responded, snuffling softly with a gentle smile on his face, words not needed to express that he couldn’t wait for Kaito to share that world with him.

-

Tim told Kaito and Maki about the show and tell party the morning of, off-hand, right before he was trying to finish breakfast, like if he didn’t give them enough notice they wouldn’t come. 

“What?” Kaito had asked, blinking in surprise, as Maki asked Shuichi to pass her the water pitcher, “Your class is having a party?”

“It’s not a ‘party’, it’s like…” Tim pushed his eggs around on his plate, shrugging, “We’re supposed to show off what we did this year or something. To the parents. I dunno.”

“You don’t want us to come?” Maki asked, looking unsurprised.

Tim shrugged.

“Why not!?” Kaito asked, looking offended, “I want to come see what you did this year!”

“It’s boring, I haven't really done anything.”

“What was all that homework Miss Kawaii and I helped you with then? All those tests Uncle Shuichi helped you study for? You don’t want to show off? Does Miss Kawaii know about the party?”

Timothy nodded and shrugged at the same time. 

“...Is there a reason you’d like us not to come, Timothy?” Shuichi asked gently, kind of not wanting to go, honestly. He had been talked into coming downstairs today by the promise that Kaito would bring him back upstairs by wheelchair. Kaito had noticed Shuchi seemed… ‘off’. The last few days. Paler, sweating, easily distracted. Dr. Tenchi promised he was fine, but Kaito didn’t like to leave Shuichi alone right now. But he also wanted to at least eat one meal with Timothy during the day and there was still training in the morning, so Kaito talked Shuichi into hanging out in the courtyard and getting some air in the morning, eating breakfast, then asked Maki to stay with him when Kaito dropped Tim off at school, before Kaito came back and did full ‘Take care of Shuichi’ time. Which right now was mostly checking in on him at his study or hanging out with him in the room. And massages. Lots of massages.

“You don’t have to come at all, Uncle Shuichi.” Timothy said with absolute certainty, knowing damn well his Uncle wouldn’t want to go and not having a problem with that. Though he gave Kaito, Maki and Kokichi less certain looks…

“...some of the kids get a little… weird about you guys.” Timothy admitted, pushing at his eggs, “They’re stupid.”

Maki finished her toast, before saying, “I want to see what you’ve accomplished. I’m going.”

“Aw, kid, you don’t…” Kaito hesitated, “Are you worried about those other kids treating you worse if we go?”

Tim looked offended by this. “No. Cause they’re stupid.”

A last day of school show and tell party… Kokichi had actually paused mid-bite in his waffles--absolutely drenched in syrup, of course--to go all starry-eyed. He remembered the little presentations Hideki helped him with, usually showing Ikuo what he’d been doing in their lessons, showing off a new skill or boasting about a cool project he’d made, but sometimes just...giving a presentation to anyone who’d humor him for a while. 

Getting to see Tim do the same, hearing from his teacher about how awesome Tim had been during the year… Already Kokichi could feel himself swelling with pride. 

...but Tim was uncomfortable. 

Giving his nephew a soft look, Kokichi swallowed before speaking. “...as far as I know? The party is supposed to be all about celebrating you and your classmates. With your teacher keeping things on track, no one should be paying attention to us at all. Would you be uncomfortable if I came too?”

“It’s okay to say yes,” he immediately gave as an out. “I’ll just wanna hear all about it later.”

Timothy squirmed, conflicted… it was really just two students he was worried about, and he didn’t want to force his family to be around buttheads… but…

“... I mean, I know Cali and Kimiko are hoping you guys are coming.” Timothy admitted, shrugging. Like he wouldn’t also very much like to show off, “You can do whatever you want, Uncle Koki--”

Timothy flinched as he felt a hand on his ear… and gave Maki mostly just a confused look as she flicked it. The woman going back to her meal as she said sternly, “Is talking around a subject something you’re picking up from your father? We’re not worried about getting stares. Are you worried about us being uncomfortable, yes or no.”

“...yes, mother.”

“Don’t be, we can take care of ourselves. Are you worried about us making you uncomfortable.”

“No, mother.”

“Is there anything there you would like us to see?”

“...I guess so, y-” Another flick, “Yes.”

“Excellent. We want to see it. We’re coming.” Maki said, before giving Kaito a Look, “He’s getting that from you.”

Kaito rolled his eyes, before giving Timothy a wide grin, “It’s gonna be great, kid! We wanna see all that stuff! Is that diorama you spent all that time on gonna be there?”

Timothy nodded, the look on his face best described as ‘tentatively excited’. “Uh, yeah… it’s on display.”

“Hell yeah! I wanna go rub it in the other parents faces how good my kid is as diorama’s! Plus I wanna see Kimiko’s, I didn’t get a chance too.” Kaito grinned, “Make sure to specifically invite Miss Kawaii if you haven't yet, kid, I know she’d want to go too.”

Kokichi smiled a bit as Maki cut Tim’s dithering off at the pass. She was right, and it was a good call to try and break him of the habit early. It was incredibly hard to do it as an adult, as Kokichi and Kaito could attest, and...normally, Tim tended to be a blunt kind of person. 

Cheering as Tim admitted to his excitement, Kokichi scarfed down another bite of his breakfast. “I can’t wait to see everything you’ve done! Do you know if stuff from earlier in the year is gonna be up? I’d love to see that poster you and Cali made about symmetry--when you guys told us the story of your presentation, Cali said that your teacher was really impressed!”

There had been parent check-ins throughout the year, but other than scoping out the school in early Fall, Kokichi hadn’t met Mr. Cendril since. Tim and the girls hadn’t seemed to have any complaints, but...well, seeing how the teacher managed a room full of kids excited and trying to impress their parents would be good insight to how classes normally went.

If nothing happened, then Mr. Cendril would continue to be their teacher for the next two years, so...Kokichi was curious.

-

Timothy wasn’t actually supposed to see Miss Kawaii until she was supposed to come pick him up in the afternoon, and the party was meant to be the last two hours of school that day. Timothy had told Miss Kawaii about the party, when it was, what was happening in it… and had no idea if she was coming or not. Neither of them had talked about her coming. 

“I’m not supposed to leave school during lunch.” Tim told Cali. “My parents are worried something will happen to me.”

Cali had given him a baffled look, before exclaiming, “Is THAT why we eat here ever day!? I thought you were just really into the cafeteria food.”

Tim shook his head, “They told me not to when I first started going here, and we’ve just never talked about it since. My dad worries easily. I didn’t wanna bring it up again.”

“What do they think is gonna happen?”

“Weird Luminary stuff.”

Cali nodded like she had any idea what that meant, “...what if you had a bodyguard?”

Timothy smirked, “That’s kinda why I brought it up.”

“Mission ESCORT TIM IS A GO!” Cali cheered-- Kimiko was eating at home with her mother, the two liking to catch up then since work could keep Tsumugi out late sometimes-- as she got up, “Where are we going!?”

And that’s why Cali and Tim were knocking on Miss Kawaii’s door.

It was lucky timing, honestly. Haneda had finished up with the work she usually did while Tim was at school or spending time with his parents (or out with friends) and was back in her room, taking a little time to relax and get ready before the open house at the elementary school.

So...seeing him and Cali at her door was...unexpected, and it was just Tim’s experience with his nanny’s face that made her glower not something to cower at. Though, after a moment, it turned up a notch as Haneda realized the situation, worry sparking a fire in her eyes. 

“...what are you two doing here? I thought your dad wanted you to stay on campus for lunch.”

“I brought a bodyguard.” Tim answered plainly.

“I’m here to make sure nothing happens!” Cali declared, grinning fiercely, hands balled into fists, “No Luminary stuff!”

“She’s very capable.” Tim agreed, “Miss Kawaii, I wanted to invite you to the open house.”

He said this very matter of factly… before something uncertain flashed across his face as he said, “In… case you weren’t coming. I mean.”

“You gotta come!” Cali agreed enthusiastically, “The runaway kids gotta stick together! And everyone else has brought food! There’s so many chips and cookies!”

...man these really were her kids, huh. 

Haneda sighed, and while she was worried, there was fondness...deep, deeeeep down. “Good call taking precautions, but you still shouldn’t try something like this without talking to your folks first, alright? They’re your parents, it’s their job to worry about you, even if you’re being safe.”

Kaito and Maki were paranoid as all get out, but maybe they could talk about Tim leaving campus during lunch for the next year. Maybe only with planning, or maybe if it was more than just Tim and Cali going off on their own, but it was worth a conversation. 

...this...was one they already had though. 

Haneda raised an eyebrow, looking at the kids skeptically. “Of course I’m coming. You’ve been working your butt off this year--of course I want to see what you’ve done.” She paused, eyes crinkling into a devious smile. “And just by being you, I can’t wait to see Karl get what’s coming to him. I bet he’s been lying to his parents all year.”

Tim’s eyes widened at that, the thought having never occurred to him before. “Maybe.” he said, the word full of hope.

“Heck yeah! Whoo! She’s coming Tim!” Cali cheered, hopping in place, before excitedly saying, “You gotta look at my anatomy poster! I got extra points for adding in all the muscle bits!”

“Cali’s getting a certificate.” Tim said.

Cali waved her hand dismissively at that, clearly not interested, before saying, “Oh! We gotta hurry or we’re gonna be late for recess. I wanna kick a ball into Stacy’s face!”

Timothy nodded, not seeing a problem with this, before bowing slightly to his nanny, “See you soon, Miss Kawaii.”

“Let’s goooo!”

“Hold on there,” Haneda interjected, turning to grab her bag before stepping out of her room, locking the door behind her. “I’ll walk you two back.”

Giving them a dry look, she explained. “I know you’ll be fine on your own, but your parents made that rule not just for your safety, but their peace of mind, Tim. You might get off easier if I walk you back.”

“...and I won’t have to walk with your folks as they fawn and gush over you when they get to the school. It’s deservedly so, but they can do it themselves.”

“Let’s make it in time for recess, c’mon.”

-

Kaito made a cake… and was looking at the spread of food on the fold out table of the kids classroom, wondering if maybe he had overdone it, worriedly looking around at the collection of food. Everything else looked cheap and market bought, just snacks really, chips and cookies and a mostly untouched platter of hand vegetables. Kaito had heard that the parents were welcome to bring food, and, well… he had time and… had admittedly kinda wanted to make a good impression so he had gone a little hard on making the frosting and…

It was like when he had been worried about overdressing with his incredibly nice chained necklace at the dance. That worried feeling of being so overdressed or over indulgent at something that you come across looking like some uppity asshole…

Kaito relaxed, though, as a woman came up to the table with a clearly newly made pie, still warm by the scent coming off of it, and placed it down without any concern on the very center of the table, moving aside some bags of chips to do so. “Ha! Thank goodness, another wannabee baker. Was starting to feel silly. Damn, what kinda pie is that?”

Kaito noticed the slight shift in the woman’s expression at the word ‘wannabee’, but it smoothed out immediately as she said, still adjusting the pie to be perfectly center on the table, moving the junk food more out of the way, “You shouldn’t curse around the children. It’s a filthy habit.”

“Oh, uh,” Kaito looked around at the mess of children in the classroom, the parents starting to show up one by one as the kids and Mr. Cendril finished setting everything up, music playing in the background, “Sorry, you’re right.”

“Of course,” The woman said, with the same tone as someone might say ‘no worries’, before glancing at Kaito’s cake, “Your first time making a cake then?”

“Ha!” Kaito laughed, “Is it obvious?”

“Yes.” The woman smiled, before pointing to the end of the table, “You should put it on that space over there. Near the back. Plenty of room.”

“Oh, yeah…” Kaito supposed that was true, there was space over there, but as he put it down and looked over to thank the woman for the suggestion, she had already wandered away. That… hmm… maybe he was looking into it too much--

“Kaito!” There was suddenly a crash into Kaito’s back, arms wrapping around him, and it took Kaito a second to register the voice but, “Samantha!” Kaito grinned, looking over his shoulder and patting her arm a bit. “There you are!”

Samantha let him go and grinned up at him, before looking across the table and scowling. “I saw you talking to Trisia. She tell you to put your cake in the corner?”

“Uuuuh, yeah--”

“Not on my watch,” Samantha insisted, “Horace!”

“Oh, the famous Horace,” Kaito grinned, as a man holding a bowl of clearly intricately made dipping sauce came over, Samantha busily rearranging the table, “Hey man, I heard a lot about you in the mountains. Nice to meet you, I’m--” Kaito hesitated, before just saying, “Kaito!”

Horace nodded, “Same. Nice to meet ya… you made the cake?”

“Uuuuuh, yeah?”

Horace gave the cake a long look… before leaning in towards Kaito. Whispering gravely, “You don’t want a dog in this race, buddy. I’m telling you now. They’re ruthless and they’re not playing.”

“There!” Samantha grinned, having rearranged it so that the dipping sauce was in the middle, chips surrounding it like a moat, the pie pushed back, and moving Kaito’s cake up to the side, “Better! Makes so much more sense, display wise!”

Kaito looked at the pushed aside pie with growing understanding. ...uh oh. He had just accidentally entered a turf war. Whoops.

Just like the first time he’d gone around the university campus, Kokichi walked into the elementary school grounds with wide, awed eyes, practically vibrating with excitement to see everything his nephew had been up to on his school journey. The difference was easier to see when Kokichi was around actual children, and for fourth graders, he was still taller than them, but people could be forgiven for doing a double-take, perhaps on first glance mistaking the prince for another child. 

Though, the way he looked at the art and projects displayed in the hall--though kids would doubtlessly show their guardians them later in greater depth--was almost akin to an art connoisseur taking a stroll through a famous museum. Kokichi’s eyes critically took in every detail, though the grin on his face was enthralled and impressed, those nearby perhaps hearing him mutter things like, “Incredible, that composition is so intricate!” or “I didn’t know that...they must’ve researched for ages!” as he thoroughly went down the line. 

And like museums, Kokichi could spend the entire day taking it in by himself, but...it was more fun with other people, and there was no way he was missing Tim showing them around and showing off his work to the whole group. Despite his stage fright, Kokichi hadn’t heard anything about Tim just doing personal show and tells so...he’d be cheering his nephew on.

Catching sight of Kimiko first, Kokichi waved, coming up to her while Kaito found a place for his cake and Maki sought out Tim. “Kimiko! I saw your drawing in the hall; it’s gorgeous! I know you made it a while ago but...really, it’s like every new piece you show me you’re leveling up your style.”

“Thank you~ Mister Kokichi.” Kimiko beamed, having just finished straightening out the chairs around the small tables, none of the parents having started sitting in the smaller than average chairs around the smaller than average tables yet, but some of them warily eyeing them, knowing there was no real escape from tiny chair time.

And Kimiko adored watching it. She set up the chairs with reverence. 

“Mommy got me a new book about art recently,” she explained, her mother planning to look around at the displays when she came to pick Kimiko up at the end of the party, but a little too busy with work to show up for the first part of it. “The style is realism, which is kinda…” Kimiko tried to think of a nice word for realism paintings, and settled indulgently on, “pretty, though I like abstract surrealism myself… but! It’s been very good practice! Mommy says you have to learn the rules before you can effectively break them, otherwise you’re not innovating the craft, just trying to re-discover it. And why do that when someone else has already done all the heavy lifting?”

Kimiko said this all with a clear intelligence, the observation one of someone whose put some actual thought and research into her opinion… and then beamed at Kokichi as she excitedly said, “Did you also see the horsie I drew? It’s over by the door!”

Kokichi grinned, having a similar opinion about realism himself, though he did end up drawing in the style for fun. There was so much more you could do when you weren’t bound by drawing right what was in front of you, but Kimiko was exactly right. Learning the rules first would help you out in the long run, giving your abstract or cartoonish art some oomph and grounding it more so more people could connect with it, even if they weren’t quite sure what they were looking at. 

With a mindset like that, and a continued passion for art? Kimiko was going to continually evolve beautifully.

“I’m glad you’re excited for the practice,” Kokichi laughed. “I remember it was like pulling teeth to get myself to practice master copies when I was first trying to do it. It’s really wise to be able to see the value in it.”

Looking over towards the door as she mentioned it, Kokichi lit up as well. “I thought that was your style! Horses are really difficult for me, but I can practically see your horse galloping away--wonderful work! Awww, your mom’s so lucky--when you take your art back home, she’ll get to see them all the time.”

Kimiko giggled sweetly at that, as Maki, Timothy, Cali and Haneda all walked into the classroom, Cali and Tim having just been showing Maki the gym. “Miss Harukawa! Miss Kawaii! He~lloooo! Did you see the bars I was telling you about?”

Maki nodded, her mind racing. She was fairly certain she had seen bars like that at a nearby park… if Kimiko was trying to teach herself flips and turns on them, Maki supposed she could show her them there…

Kaito wandered back to the group, having caught up with Samantha a bit, still a little worried about what he had walked in on but grinning down at the kids, “Wow, you guys have really gone all out for this party. I can’t believe we almost missed this!”

Timothy shrugged, but Cali gasped, looking horrified, “You weren’t coming??”

“Your bozo friend here didn’t tell us about it till this morning.” Kaito snitched, ruffling Timothy’s hair while Cali glared at him. “Of course we wanted to come! Um…” Kaito looked at all the little tables and little chairs, “Are we… sitting on one of these for the presentations?”

Kimiko’s eyes brightened maliciously, “Yes.”

“Whelp,” Kaito chuckled, already knowing his knees were absolutely not going to fit under the tables, “Wanna push some tables together so we can all sit as a group with your parents?”

“Mommy’s gonna miss the presentations, but she’s still gonna see everything else!” Kimiko beamed.

“My parents couldn’t come.” Cali said, before brightening, “Let’s put you over here! You’ll get the best view! We gotta call dibs!”

Kokichi naturally gravitated to Kaito’s side as their little group reconvened, brushing their fingers together. Maki had that look in her eyes like she’d gotten an idea and was starting to figure out ways to implement it (it kind of relieved Kokichi to see, honestly. It felt like a sign that Maki was still making progress on the road to recovery), while Haneda...looked like a particularly pleased cat, sunning itself after having taken out a pesky rat and had itself a nice meal. ...Kokichi hoped it was just from pride. 

Laughing slightly at the mental image of Kaito trying to fit into one of the little chairs (it’d be a little uncomfortable for Kokichi too, but he was one of the adults that would have an easier time of it), Kokichi calmed and kept a smile up as they followed Cali over to the prime spot.

...she wasn’t lying. But...well, Kokichi was sure the others had noticed it too. Cali still talked about perfecting training to fight her mom--when Kaito wasn’t successful at diverting her from saying that aloud--but...her complaints about home had stopped. Any comments about her parents--which had gotten more rare overall--had gotten increasingly surface-level. 

...he was worried, but Kokichi had kept his hands out of Cali’s parents’ marriage before, and he wasn’t going to pressure her to talk about it now. But...hopefully their time together at the castle and when they took the kids out was good for her and...maybe he would ask or...just let her know that they would listen if Cali needed someone to talk to. 

At the front of the classroom, after getting multiple nods and thumbs up from many of the kids around him, Ascher clapped brightly, getting attention in the room. “Alright, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, we’re just about ready to get started! Everyone, pick where you’d like you and your guests to sit, and we’ll get the show started!”

It was time for… the chairs. 

While most of the parents had a resigned look to them as they sat down, having done this before several times now, Kaito still fruitlessly looked over the situation like there was anything he could do to fix it. Maybe if he sat at the very edge? No, he’d never be able to maintain it… certainly there were adult chairs somewhere? No? 

Kimiko watched eagerly, waiting for Kaito to give up. A bright, eager smile on her face… and giggled in delight as Kaito, sighing, squeezed his hips between the far too narrow arms, his knees curled up and peeking well over the low table, an embarrassed red to his face.

Maki, resignedly, did so as well, though she thankfully wasn’t going to end up stuck, as Tim, Cali and Kimiko all sat as well.

Kokichi gave his husband a consoling pat on the arm as he took a chair as well, settling down as, one after another, a few kids went up to the front of the class, apparently a bunch super eager to go first. Mr. Cendril would give a short-preamble about what the kid would be presenting and how they’d done in class that year, the kid would do their presentation, and if it applied, Mr. Cendril would present them with a certificate.

Kokichi was...honestly a little surprised by it. It wasn’t a participation award, not every kid got one, and they weren’t overly specific. It was...true competition, something Kokichi was surprised to see at a school. But...the kids who didn’t get one didn’t seem ashamed, and the kids who did looked proud and excited as they presented their award to their guardians.

Making up for Cali’s parents being absent, Kokichi made sure to cheer her on when it was her turn to present. Mr. Cendril talked about her enthusiasm and work ethic in class, remarking that he could always count on her to get class discussions rolling, her curiosity something that will serve her well in life. And then! It was her turn to present.

Cali, excitedly ripping it from the wall, went up and showed off her large poster and with total enthusiasm said, “I did an anatomy drawing of Kaito!”

...what?

Cali went on to enthusiastically explain how she had asked Kimiko to sketch out an outline of Prince Kaito, and then Cali had gone to Miss Harukawa to explain to her where all the muscles were supposed to go, “And then, at training the next day, she’d say a muscle and I had to go poke it with a stick!”

“Is that why you three were poking me with a stick a few weeks ago!?” Kaito gritted through his teeth, sorta asking Tim and sorta just… crying out into the void. His face beat red as Cali went on to say which muscle was which, and which one had been easiest to poke, and which one was apparently ticklish! “...fucking kill me.” He whispered, still beat red.

“Cursing.” Timothy reminded him, looking pleased.

“I can ground you.” Kaito whispered back, as Kimiko giggled.

Kokichi snorted, watching Cali’s presentation fondly as he rubbed Kaito’s back. He figured it had been some sort of studying practice, but for a project… They really were special kids. 

Leaning over, he whispered to Kaito, “I’m guessing she chose you ‘cause you’re so buff, hun. It’s easier to learn muscles when you can show them so well.”

As Cali finished up, the class clapping and Kokichi giving a proud hoot--as many other guardians had done for their own kids--Mr. Cendril stepped forward before Cali could go back to the table the royal family had claimed. Not that Cali had gone anywhere, waiting expectantly for her award. 

“A wonderful presentation! And a great representation of the certificate I’m honored to present to our own Miss Cali Fornia!” the teacher said in a chipper voice. “The ‘Up, Up, Above and Beyond’ certificate, awarded to hard workers who do everything they can to make their effort pay off.”

Ascher handed down the fancy framed paper, Cali’s name written large and elegantly front and center under the award title, while there was a description and official things like the date and school name and even Ascher and the principal’s signatures at the bottom. While he was always proud of his students for their achievements...Ascher was glad to give Cali an award like this. The young girl was much gentler than people might think from her brash actions, and this whole year had been difficult for her. The addition of Tim to the class, and their combined befriending of Kimiko was something special to watch, but...from the few parent-teacher conferences the Fornias had attended, Ascher could guess that the end of the war had a few more mixed feelings to it for them.

The anger and resentment, while deep and layered and delicious, like a perfectly cooked marinated steak, was honestly a little shocking in its intensity. And while Cali’s feelings on the matter were different, the feelings she carried over when she wasn’t paying attention to other things… Ascher could only quantify it as “worse”. 

A fancy piece of paper and some recognition wasn’t going to fix a poor home life, but it was something Cali could be proud of from this difficult year. 

“Cali has among the best work scores in class, and it’s easy to figure out why. Whether it’s working together to fill out study sheets, or seeing potential out in the world for a learning experience, Cali never stops! So, in honor of that work, and an encouragement for the future--congratulations, Cali!”

There was another excited hoot from Prince Kokichi, the young man pumping his fists in the air to cheer Cali on. 

“Hey! Yeah, Cali!” Kaito cheered, eyes lighting up, just shy of shouting ‘That’s my girl!’ Cause she wasn’t, but… damn was he fucking fond of this kid, as she beamed back at their enthusiastic praising, showing off her certificate.before heading back to the table, sticking her tongue out at Stacy, who was sitting with the woman who made the pie. Stacy stuck her tongue back, her mother giving her a quiet, sharp word.

“Look!” Cali said, showing the three adults enthusiastically her certificate again-- Kimiko and Timothy had known she was getting it for as long as she did, in the last two weeks-- before taking a seat, cheerfully kicking her legs. She hadn’t been trying to get a certificate. She just found it easy to pay attention to most of the subjects. There was usually something worth fixating on about them.

Timothy and Kimiko both weren’t getting any certificates today, but neither of them were exactly broken up about it. And it had been obvious Cali was going to get an award just from being in the class with her. She had an enthusiasm that neither of them had for school, Timothy mostly studying to keep Maki happy and Kimiko more interested in creative projects that she barely tried at any of the other subjects.

Kaito reached over to rustle Cali’s hair and Maki gave her a pat on the shoulder, before making a show of paying attention to the next few presentations.

Kokichi cheered and clapped again as Cali showed off her certificate, though he quieted down to let the other kids take the spotlight. There were other awards like ones for the greatest improvement, and for tenacity, and for enthusiasm, and for helping others… A lot of realms someone could succeed in, but recognition given genuinely. 

Maybe community awards weren’t such a bad idea… Done carefully, at least. 

While Kokichi was sure there were kids with disruptive behavioral problems, or kids who weren’t very outstanding academically, Mr. Cendril had positive, specific things to say about them all, showing that he really was paying attention to every student and trying to encourage their strengths.

And when it was Tim’s turn to present, that trend continued. 

“Let’s not forget our latter elementary national spelling champion, Timothy Harukawa! But Tim isn’t a one-note champ, not even close. Tim is consistent in his work, unfettered by difficulty curves or even coasts--nothing is to be underestimated, and there is no feat that can’t be accomplished, as long as you keep trying.”

Giving the boy a proud look--a lot of trouble with this one too, but Tim’s circumstances were a little more public than Cali’s--Ascher stepped aside to give Tim the floor. “Today, Timothy’s showing off his work on the life cycles of frogs and toads. It was a delight to hear in class, and it’ll be great to share with new people too. Take it away, Tim.”

Kaito snorted at the presentation Timothy had decided to give. Oooooh, so that was why Timothy had to visit the reptile place again… and again… and again. ‘Research’. Uh huh. Princess Wart was not coming home with them.

Timothy murmured his presentation, staring at the floor, glancing up at his family every now and again. On the other side of the room, Karl gave a loud, bored sigh, sounding frustrated, which caused Tim’s eyes to narrow at him a little as he continued on. Next to Karl, Jr. giggled, before putting his mouth against his palm and making a small, ‘Prbfffffft’ sound.

Harrison frowned, giving his son a wary look, “Hey now, stop that, Jr.”

“Sorry, dad.” Jr. grinned, not looking sorry, as Karl laughed hard, his mother looking bored.

Kokichi was ecstatic about Timothy’s report, but as there was a small commotion to the side… He remembered Tim having...issues with a few kids in class. Nothing huge, and they’d never been called about fights or anything, but...hm. 

Leaning forward, Kokichi opened himself up to looking as intrigued as he was in Tim’s report, smiling slightly as he remembered how fond Tim had been of Princess Wart. He’d done a lot of work, more than just surface level understanding, going out of his way to find as many resources as he could to get a rounder understanding… It was wonderful work. 

He knew Tim didn’t exactly have a passion in him for deep-level research, but it was work that Kokichi definitely admired. 

Timothy eventually finished his presentation, and then giving Jr. and Karl an intentful look, bowed low to the class, and went back to his table. Kaito frowned at that, still clapping enthusiastically, but his eyes darting backwards at the class, searching for… something. He wasn’t sure what. Disapproval, he guessed.

But, it seemed to be okay. Kaito put his hand around the back of Tim’s neck after ruffling his hair a little, pulling him in and-- too Tim’s surprise-- placing a quick kiss at the top of his head before whispering, “Great job kid, ‘proud of you. You handled that perfect, okay?”

“Thanks.” Tim murmured. 

“That was amazing, Tim!” Kokichi gushed, sparkles practically visible in the air around him. “That’s basically the kind of deep dive I do for work--you able to get that kind of compilation done like that now? That’s right on track for being Shuu-chan level!”

Timothy looked a little pleased at the comparison, as the next kid finished up their presentation. Kimiko wiggled excitedly in her seat, bouncing to her feet when she was called next. As she went to grab her drawing pad from her cubby, she turned around and “...EEEEE! Mommy!” 

“Eeee, mommy.” Stacy mocked quietly, pouting as her mother gave her another sharp word. 

Tsumugi smiled warmly, giving Kimiko a quick hug before saying, “I seem to have made it plainly just in the nick of time. Where are you sitting~ oh, nevermind, I see your table. Go, go, get it done, don’t wait on me dear.” she encouraged, quickly trotting over to the table and saying softly, “Hello, everyone. Good to see you as always.” before getting into a far too small chair.

“My presentation~” Kimiko said, smiling brightly at the class, “Are all the drawings I made for the last year that I liked best~”

And then she glanced at Stacy, and her sweet smile sharpened as she said, “But finished~”

Kimiko then proceeded to show the class beautifully colored, intricately detailed versions of the pictures she had already shown them, beaming happily at all the little ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’, ignoring Stacy’s irritated pout.

Stacy’s mother said softly to her, “Oh, that’s nice. You’re going to present the artwork you’ve done the last year too, right Stacy?”

“...no.” Stacy mumbled, changing her mind last second. “Science project.”

Haneda had given Tim a quiet look of pride and approval, but she was going to save any words for later. He had done a good job.

Kokichi perked as it was Kimiko’s turn, but at the last possible moment… Aw. That was heart-warming. Tsumugi basically had to do work for two governments, and it was a ton of work. But she always made time for Kimiko wherever possible. 

(There was such a strong parental love in Tsumugi. He couldn’t trust her for a lot, but when it came to Kimiko, Kokichi knew he could trust the Flora.)

Like many others, Kokichi gushed over Kimiko’s work while Haneda...heh. She knew what a look like that meant. You go, girl. Fuck ‘em.

Stacy did, indeed, present her science project, which got the same level of applause as anything else, because the room didn’t know narrative comeuppance when they saw it. 

Eventually, the presentations were all done, and everyone was encouraged to eat more from the tables while the teacher went around speaking to everyone, discussing with the parents and the kids what the next year was going to look like. Kaito had given Stacy’s mother a nervous grin when she had finally noticed what had happened to her display, the woman giving him a suspicious, annoyed look. 

“Oh, never you mind her.” Samatha said, coming to visit their table, leaning against Kaito’s shoulder and grinning at Kokichi and Maki, “It’s so lovely to finally meet you both! Timothy and Kaito spoke a great deal about you both up in the mountains. My name is Samantha Monez! I’m Antony’s mother.” She explained, pointing back towards the table she had been sitting at, where Horace and Antony were looking over Antony’s essays.

“Oh!!” Kokichi perked. “Yes, Kai-chan’s talked about you! It’s nice to meet you as well. I suppose it’s a late introduction, but I’m Kokichi Momota Ouma; it’s a pleasure! Antony had a really stylized word cadence in his essays, do you all read a lot at home?”

It was a fun party, people in good spirits and...well, truly celebrating their kids’ accomplishments. And no celebration was truly complete without cake. It was only the fact that it was going to be shared around that Kokichi didn’t get a huge slice of Kaito’s cake (but it was so delicious maybe he could ask Kaito to maybe make him one for his birthday? If he had the time?)

In the moment of greater distraction, Haneda took that time to lean towards Tim. “...I’m proud of you, public speaking sucks. But your report ruled. And you’re right, those two idiots are just that--idiots. Your work speaks for itself.”

Tim smirked slightly at that, nodding. He knew, but… it was nice to hear it. Especially from someone he respected, like Miss Kawaii. “Jr. got his dad to basically make his diorama for him anyway.” He gossiped quietly to Miss Kawaii, huffing condescending… before admitting, “Dad did all the little detail work for mine.” But I still made the rest of it.”

“Kaito?” Maki whispered to Kaito, “Why does that woman feel vaguely like she wants to hit you?”

“Who, Trisia?” Kaito asked, not bothering to question Maki’s ability to sense the violent intent coming off a stranger who wasn’t even looking at them, “I know this is gonna sound a little weird, but I swear, I think it’s because Samantha moved my cake to an easier place to reach on the table then her pie.”

“...what?” Maki asked, looking honestly bewildered. “That’s it?”

“Yeah, man, Samantha’s husband, Antony’s dad, Horace, warned me about it. I think it’s like… a thing.” Kaito dared to glance over his shoulders, where Trisia was currently talking to the teacher, Stacy looking bored as they chatted, “Samantha did say the Parent School Board was a little cut-throat.”

Haneda nodded knowingly, approval still in her eyes. “There’s a difference between getting help for special touches and making it someone else’s project. Besides, your dad is teaching you how to do all those little figurine things, right? You’ll be able to do it all yourself one day.”

At least when it came to school projects. There weren’t really matters of integrity to consider if you were making projects recreationally, as long as everyone was credited correctly. 

Kokichi continued chatting amicably with Samantha, getting gossip about the Parent School Board and what things had been like before for all the parents of this group of kids (though some kids transferred teachers over the years and some moved in or out), and before long, Mr. Cendril was making his way over to their table, pausing to talk to Kimiko and Tsumugi first.

Cali and Tim were whispering to each other next, Timothy shrugging and Cali punching him in the shoulder-- “Can Cali come spend the night tonight?” Tim asked.

“Um, if Cali’s gotten permission from her parents? Sure?” Kaito said, noting the wide, pleasant grin on Cali’s face and sighing, “Have you gotten permission from your parents?”

“Nnnnn-no.” Cali admitted, looking like she had been trying to come up with a lie and then giving up on it, “What about tomorrow? Can I come over tomorrow!?”

“Sure, you know you’re welcome. Just make sure your parents know where you are and you’re allowed to be there.” Kaito said sternly, “I don’t want to create any tensions at home, okay? But, otherwise, until you go off to camp? You’re always welcome to come over, Cali.”

“Kaaaaay.” Cali agreed, shrugging. Clearly not worried about that idea, and not saying anything about camp either, before brightening, “What about training? Are we still doing training in the mornings?”

“Oh,” Kaito blinked, “Hm...I guess we don’t have to now, now that you guys don’t have school. We could do it, like… maybe the middle of the day? Or… shoot at least not with the sunrise. That’s no way to spend a summer break. Hmmm…”

Tsumugi and Kimiko both stood up, Tsumugi giving the teacher a fond smile, before the two wandered over to the table. “Well, we have to be going now, but… Kaito, Maki?” Tsumugi said, looking to the two jocks in question, “I had a question about this p.e. thing you all do together…”

“Yeah, we were just talking about that.” Kaito grinned, “Kimiko’s going to camp too soon, right? Like, two weeks? I guess that gives us a little time to keep trai--”

“Would you mind terribly if Kimiko spent most of the day at the castle until she goes to camp?” Tsumugi asked sweetly, before sighing, “I’m afraid my work schedule doesn’t end with the school schedule, and while camp certainly helps, there’s still those few week gaps in between where Kimiko’s stuck at home by herself until I’m off work. Do you think it’d be alright if she kept coming over in the mornings to spend the day with Timothy, until I get off of work in the afternoons?”

There were a lot of things changing. Miya would always be the big one, but the end of school for the term meant a change of schedule, and Cali and Kimiko going to summer camp would change things too. Kokichi was sure Tim had plenty of ideas to occupy himself over the summer, and he wouldn’t be alone in them, but...he couldn’t help thinking back to the end of last summer. Barely knowing what Tim was doing any given day, and just...the frustrated vibes around him. 

But things were better than they were last summer, and even though they’d be busy with the baby...they’d have time for Tim too. And he did have someone dedicated to looking after him. 

Looking over at Kaito and Maki after Tsumugi made her request, Haneda gave a nod and a shrug. “I can keep an eye on them--I’m not going on vacation until late summer.” She wasn’t sure how long the summer camp Kimiko was going to was, but...they’d have a few months to figure out what to do next. 

And while Maki and Kaito still had the say-so--though Tsumugi could just leave Kimiko at the castle on her own devices, if it really came down to it--Haneda looked over to Cali, figuring that if Tim and Kimiko were going to spend the days together, she’d be coming over too.

“YES!” Cali shouted, pumping her fists in the air, “Summer vacation hangout!”

“What, you two?” Kaito asked, as Cali practically jumped in her seat, “Alright… if it’s fine with your parents, you guys can head over in the morning, and… I dunno, we’ll do training when it works out throughout the day. See what kind of schedule baby Miya lets me keep.”

“I can always train them if you can’t.” Maki shrugged, “I don’t see any issues.”

“I am going to get so sick of you two.” Timothy lamented.

“W~haaaaaat? N~oooooo!”

“No you won’t! Love us! LOVE US!”

Tsumugi laughed lightly, “Thank you so much, that’s a weight off my mind. Alright, now I really must be going. Come along, Kimiko, say goodbye to your friends.”

“Bye Timmy, by Cali!” Kimiko said, giving them a wave before grabbing her mothers hand, the two heading out.

“Oops,” Samantha snickered, noting the teacher coming towards their table, “Looks like it's your turn. It was lovely chatting with you, Prince Kokichi. Kaito!” she called out, “Plenty of room on the board! Always need new members! Not enough guys, frankly! Join next year!”

“Um… yeah, Samantha.” Kaito said non-committedly, giving her a wave, “Maybe!”

The summer would really be a new chapter of their lives, huh. Hopefully Kokichi would be able to find some time between being with Miya and work to do something fun with the kids too. Maybe a lofty goal, but one he wanted to try for. 

“It was great meeting you!” Kokichi waved to Samantha as Mr. Cendril came over, politely waiting for farewells before he would speak up. And, as he did...drat. Well, good on them for getting therapy, and good on Ava for getting some damn good meals. He wondered if Timothy’s schooling had come up--there would probably be some cosmic joke the older demon would get a kick out of, realizing that the royal family was even more magically involved than she’d thought. 

But that was neither here nor there--he was a teacher, first and foremost. 

“Miss Harukawa, Prince Momota, Prince Ouma, I’m glad you could make it,” he gave each of them a smile, a little more subdued than he would normally give to some of his very outspoken Dicean parents. “Timothy has been a wonderful student to have in class, and I’m grateful he joined us this year.”

He continued on, talking about Timothy’s performance in class--hard working when it came to his classwork, willing to take criticism and having the fortitude to apply himself, though he sometimes needed to be prompted to show his work and thought-process. A little reserved in socialization, but civil with others and willing to work towards a common goal with classmates he didn’t otherwise get along with. He definitely had a bit of a ‘cool’ reputation in class, and when he gave out praise to others--which only came when warranted--there was a significant boost of morale for most of the students.

“All around?” Ascher started to tie-up, straightening the folded report card that basically said what he’d covered, along with graphs of Tim’s progress through various subjects, and key points of his strengths and things he could work on. “Tim is a great student, and a dependable member of society--as his teacher, I look forward to seeing all he will accomplish. He still has a few years before school sports become an option, but if that’s something you’re interested in, Tim, it might be worth looking into. There are plenty of youth clubs for sports, so if you want a head start, it’d be a place to look.”

Ascher had been talking in a bit of a combination to both Tim and the adults--though teachers didn’t generally leave their students guessing about how they were doing in class--but he turned more to Maki, Kaito, and Kokichi. “Do you all have any questions for me?”

Tim wasn’t… sure? If he wanted to do sports? He had never thought about it before, putting some thought into it as Kaito beamed at him, “Hey, there ya go! I had hoped you were doing well, kid, but it sounds like you’re doing great! Gotta appreciate it when your teacher thinks you're cool!”

“There’s something inherently contradicting in that statement,” Maki teased lightly, though she seemed incredibly pleased as well. Though… “Summer sports?”

Kaito recognized that tone in Maki’s voice, and said quickly, “Why don’t we get a list of what kid sports stuff is going on around here and discuss it at home, yeah? Castle has a list for everything, I’m sure we can find it there. No need to hash it out right now!” Kaito insisted, not wanting Maki’s competitive enthusiasm for sports to pressure Timothy into decided to join one now. 

Kaito… wasn’t sure if he did have any questions? Which immediately made him feel like a bad parent. Stacy’s mom had had a ton of questions, talking to the teacher longer than everyone else. And Stacy’s mom seemed really into the school stuff. What did she know that Kaito didn’t know? What did she know she didn’t know that she needed to know that Kaito didn’t know that he needed to know to be in the… Know!?

“Is there… summer homework? We should be aware of?” Kaito asked.

Cali blanched at this question. Horrified by the very idea.

There were plenty of extracurriculars to look into when high school started, and for the kids that already were set on particular hobbies, they were likely already going the extra mile just for their own enjoyment. But for the kids that didn’t already have a plan, or who needed a nudge? Ascher had started making recommendations. 

Tim did very well in PE and seemed to enjoy physical activities, and it was well-known in the class that he, Cali, and Kimiko did family workouts with Tim’s family in the mornings before school (though they called it Assassin Training for the longest time, and that had been a big source of intrigue for many students). So, sports seemed like something that would be on the table. 

But mostly, as a guiding figure in Timothy’s life? Ascher could see something like a team sport being very good for the boy. The camaraderie and trust of a team, good-natured rivalry pushing him forward, and the regular routine of practice and games. They seemed like things that would nurture the person Tim already was, and give him the push to learn and grow. 

Still, it wouldn’t be the first time Ascher was completely off, so it was simply a suggestion. 

Laughing a bit as he could feel Cali’s horror, Ascher shook his head. “No, don’t worry--there are teachers who do give out summer assignments, especially in high school, but I don’t. We’ve already had this conversation as a class, but summer work is to enjoy your vacation, and if you have the opportunity, try something new, or challenge yourself. It’ll make for a good story when we all return in the fall.”

Kaito still felt like he should have more questions… but he didn’t. He looked down at Timothy, “Tim? Anything you want to as Mr. Cendril before vacation starts?”

“Not really. It’s only going to be two months. If I have a question, I’ll ask you in two months about it.” Timothy said easily, not seeing any flaw in this logic. 

“Man, I remember thinking summer vacations were basically mini-years at your age.” Kaito chuckled, before standing up and giving the teacher a quick bow, Maki doing the same. “Thank you so much for looking after Timothy. Putting him in school was actually a really difficult decision at the time, but it’s reassuring to see him thriving here. Um… Kaito glanced at the table, before saying, “Can I speak to you one on one, for just a moment?”

Ascher smiled graciously at Kaito and Maki, bowing slightly to them as well. “Your son is an incredible young man; it’s my pleasure to have him in class. I’m glad you all agreed to have him here.”

Tim’s friendship with Cali and Kimiko--though only Tim and Cali had been acquainted at the start of the year--and the ease with Prince Kokichi and Miss Kawai were not things to underestimate, but it was important for Tim to be around Dicean kids his age and socialize with them. Even the ones he butted heads with, and the ones he barely talked to. Tim would likely thrive in alternative learning programs, but Ascher was perhaps a bit biased in thinking that public school served him best. 

Giving Prince Kaito an open look, Ascher nodded and stood up from his crouch, gesturing for Kaito to lead to where he’d like to speak. “Of course.”

Kaito nodded, started to get up…

Cali practically laughed like a hyena as Kaito, forgetting entirely his seating predicament, stood up as straight as he could, which was not that straight because a tiny child-sized chair was trapping him in the hunched positon.

“Dad,” Tim said dryly, “There’s a chair on your butt.”

“...Thanks, kid.” Kaito grumbled, wiggling his hips out of the arms squeeze, “Wouldn’t have noticed. Good looking out.”

Maki watched Kaito eventually free himself and follow the teacher aside, the two talking a little quietly, before looking to Timothy, “Excellent work.”

“Thanks.” Timothy said, “...do you guys think I should play sports?” He asked, looking between Maki and Miss Kawaii, “I don’t want to not be available for Miyako…”

Meanwhile, Kaito gave the teacher a mildly wary grin, “Hey, so… I noticed Tim’s bowing and stuff in class… is that something I need to talk to him about? Like, is that creating any tension in the class for him? It’s a traditional Luminary custom, but, well… I’d rather Tim fit in then stick to tradition…”

Ascher gave the prince an understanding look. “It’s a difficult question, isn’t it. Where the line between expressing oneself and keeping a peaceful environment is. By my own metric, Tim’s polite gestures are far from being unpeaceful, and getting out ahead of everything, I don’t believe that you two should have to sacrifice that. It’s not something that disrupts class or ostracizes Tim from the other students. In fact, there are a few who’ve picked up some of the mannerisms from him, such as bowing after a presentation, though I doubt they really grasp the cultural significance.”

“But, yes, there are some students who have picked up their guardians’ biases,” the demon said more seriously. “It is more trying to copy what goes on at home than any true malice, and we’ve had talks about it--your son hasn’t been targeted for being from Luminary, Prince Kaito. And while they remain civil, I can’t stop kids from disliking each other,” Ascher laughed grimly, a macabre humor in his eyes. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“Your son’s culture is a part of him, and I would not ask either of you to hide it. People can choose to respect or ignore it, but if they choose to be disrespectful, I intervene. And beyond perhaps the spark that started a dislike, it has not negatively impacted your son’s time at school.” 

“Though,” he said, amused, “If I were more candid, I’d hazard a guess that Timothy wouldn’t consider his lack of friendship with such individuals as a negative.”

“Yeah, that’s fair… alright. If you haven't noticed him getting, like, harassed about it or anything like that… my Tim’s a lot like his mother. He has a bit of a history of just trying to solve problems by himself, and sometimes he needs to be protected from his own solutions,” Kaito explained, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m just trying to keep an eye on it, in case he’s just not talking to anyone about stuff like that… oh!”

“Is Chase still good to come to class next year?” Katio asked, “She is getting bigger. That alright?”

Ascher nodded. “There’s nothing I’ve found concerning, and I’ve spoken to the children about respecting each other. It’s sometimes difficult to convince kids to take offered help, but when a good part of the curriculum focuses on our places and responsibilities to the communities we live in, it usually convinces more independent or shy students to reach out to someone.”

“Oh, and Chase!” the teacher brightened, “Yes, she’s still welcome. She’s not disruptive and none of the students are afraid of her--on the contrary, just about everyone is quite charmed. By proxy, she’s been a help to some of the shier students when it comes to presentations--it’s easier to forget about stage fright when you’re talking to a dog, no?”

“Perfect,” Kaito grinned, relieved, “Tim loves that dog, she’s honestly probably the main reason he didn’t spend, uh… well, all of his time running around on us and vandalizing things. Miss Kawaii couldn’t get that kid to stand still for longer than a moment for ages, got him a dog, and it just really smoothed out from there. She’s a freaking god send, I swear… anyway! That was my two big questions, I guess. Thank you so much Mr. Cendril. We’ll probably clean up our table and take Tim home after this. You have a good summer! Do, uh, whatever teachers do in the summer! Hibernate in the cafeteria?”

It was a joke Kaito had heard, to be fair, that elementary schools kids commonly believed teachers lived at the schools. Kaito himself never went through that phase, not going to school till high school, but it had been fun hearing about it, and he grinned, entirety pleased with himself.

Tim wasn’t really one to share many personal details, but Ascher had heard about Miss Kawai from more than just the guardian release forms allowing her to bring Tim home from school without suspicion. He didn’t know much, but the young woman was someone Timothy clearly respected as an adult in his life, and considering the wild and rampant rumors about the royal family...Ascher could fill in some blanks, and be happy for Tim that he had someone consistent in his life. Kaito confirming that just solidified the feeling. 

Laughing a bit at Kaito’s joke, Ascher rolled his eyes. “Ah, yes, I’ve already picked out the books I want to form my den. You all have a lovely summer as well, and good luck with your new daughter. I wish your family the best.”

Kaito gave the teacher another nod, before heading back to the table, clapping his hands together sternly, “Alright! Clean up time! Come one, we’re leaving the table better than we found it, let’s go, hup hup!”

“We taking the leftover cake home?” Maki asked, standing up and stretching, as Cali bounced up saying something about needing to head home now, and groaning as Miss Kawaii put a hand on her head and steered her back to the table for cleaning.

“Is there leftover cake?” Kaito pouted, before brightening up as he realized it was just a few pieces. Mostly a success! “Yeah, Shuichi can have the last of it. You mind grabbing it, Maki?”

Kaito went to go grab some paper towels, and as the kids binned the paper plates, Kaito snuck a quick kiss on Kokichi, “You good babe? Noticed you’d been quiet for longer than five minutes. Haven't finally lost your voice, have you? Got caught up explaining social-legislation to one of the kids?”

Getting right to work cleaning, Kokichi looked over, a gleam in his eyes as the prospect of extra cake, but...yeeeeah, Shuuichi could have the rest of it. It wasn’t that much, and Kokichi had already had a slice. Shuuichi was probably enjoying the peace and quiet (...as much as he was enjoying anything right now) but bringing home cake would make the day even better. 

Kokichi blinked up at Kaito before rolling his eyes a little, though there was a slight blush on his face. “Finally getting tired of your chatterbox husband, huh? ...yeah, I’m okay.”

Helping Kaito wipe down the tables, Kokichi looked around the classroom, watching families take down papers and posters and cubby items, all sorts of things that the kids had been doing during the year with that certain longing in his eyes. “...it was cool, getting to sit in on a parent-teacher conference, of sorts. I can tell that Mr. Cendril really invests himself into the growth and well-being of his students… Just...hearing all that stuff about Tim was really cool. Getting that different perspective from someone that knows him from a different part of life.”

Kaito chuckled, kissing the top of Kokichi’s head. “Never tired of it. Will tease you about it though. Don’t worry, you can point it out the next time I get into a long monologue about a personal anecdote. I’m sure you won’t have to wait long, I do like one a day.”

“And yeah, it was really reassuring to hear all of that,” Kaito said, watching with affection as some of the other kids, seeing Cali and Tim cleaning up to go, went to go say goodbye for the summer. “This year had just as rocky and awful a start for Tim as it did any of us… and it’s not like the kids not had some breakdowns about it. I have to take a knife out of his hand more than once, and I doubt I’m alone in that,” Kaito sighed, glancing over at Tim’s nanny, cleaning up the main food table with Cali, “Plus that incident with the guardsman that… honestly, we’re fucking lucky as hell that didn’t end up way worse than it was…”

“It’s just good to know school’s been a good experience,” Kaito sighed, “Fucking relief, ya know?”

Kokichi turned his gaze to focus on Tim and Cali as well, smiling before he got back to work. They hadn’t always been the people Tim needed. Especially at the beginning, but in leaps in the middle too that they had just...dropped the ball on. Unable to sort themselves out, and unable to be there for someone who...in some ways, was in a scarier position. 

But they had stepped up, and while they would certainly make mistakes, hopefully they wouldn’t let Tim down so entirely ever again. And...making sure he had other structures in his life would help with that. 

“Agreed,” Kokichi said quietly. “He’s a good kid, but it’s always nice to hear that other people think so too, and have his back. And that he’s doin’ alright in the soft skills here too.”

Kokichi looked up, raising an eyebrow at his husband. “Tim really does have that ‘cool kid’ vibe, right? I think he gets it from Maki-chan.”

“What? Why can’t he get it from me? I’m cool!” Kaito called to Maki, “Maki, tell Kokichi how cool I was in highschool!”

“Your father was a goofball that was so endearingly and earnestly trying to be cool that most people gave his more annoying and stupid traits a pass,” Maki explained to Timothy plainly, “He was a dumbass, but in a ‘hard not to love’ way.”

“Like Cali.” Timothy nodded.

“Yes, like Cali.”

“Hey!” Cali and Kaito both cried out at the same time.

-

Kaito should have realized something was wrong when Shuichi didn’t finish the slice of cake he was given.

His boyfriend had quietly listened to Kokichi gush about the days event, nodding along appropriately and chiming in every now and again, and had started eating his cake. But he more seemed to just hold the pieces in his mouth, something off in his expression. When Kaito had asked if he was good, Shuich had agreed, just saying he felt tired. Saying he really wanted something sweet, but felt too full for a slice of cake. 

Kokichi had offered juice, and Shuichi had agreed. Kaito had fetched juice, and again, Shuichi took a few sips and then wrinkled his nose. ‘Too heavy’, he said again. “Maybe I just want some water, actually…”

Kaito remembered what Thalia had warned him about Miyako, and seeing the exhausted look in Shuich’s face, said, “...does… sugar water sound at all appealing?”

It had, apparently. To the point where Shuichi had gulped down a pitcher’s worth by the time bed time had snuck up on all of them. Kaito had laughed as Kokichi tried some of the sugar water and a clear look of displeasure ran across his face. “Not quite juice, huh babe?”

Shuichi hadn’t said goodnight or settled in. His blinking just suddenly got really slow after the pitcher was done. It looked less like exhaustion and more like digestion sleepiness, so Kaito kissed his temple and tucked him in while Shuichi mumbled something about it being too early as the blanket went over his shoulders. “Maybe, but you seem ready to sleep now. So, bedtime, handsome.”

Kaito and Kokichi didn’t go to bed too much longer afterwards. In a rare bout of luck that night, Kaito had the middle spot, Shuichi having drifted to the left and it was starting to get warm enough at night that Kokichi didn’t relish in the heated middle spot as much as he did during the winter. Kaito never minded either way, though he tended to lay further up in the bed than he usually did any spot other than the middle, since the other two liked to use his arms, should and chest as additional make-shift pillows. 

It could sometimes feel like he was being pinned down in bed by the two of them, and one night he had woken up from a nightmare where his irrational mind had thought they were trying to pin him down for something… but beyond that night, he didn’t really mind the feeling. He liked feeling them shift and move. He liked knowing with a touch where they were. He liked having advance notice when one of them was having a bad dream, their body twitching or trembling in their sleep. He kept his arm over Kokichi’s shoulder to try to dissuade him from his night wandering across the bed and tucked his head next to Shuichi, breathing in the scent of him.

It was nice, being able to watch over the two of them… and tonight it paid off, as Kaito’s eyes fluttered open as a long, trembling arm wrapped around his neck, Shuichi’s face burrowing his head into his shoulders, Kaito’s shoulder now wet. “...’uichi?”

“K-kaito...s-something’s weird.” Shuichi wept quietly, “I feel weird… I-I think I shat myself...”

And there was a small grunt of pain, Shuichi’s body curling up as Kaito shot up, ripping the blanket off of Shuichi and looking him over. Shuichi’s lower half was soaked in something…

Kaito’s eyes dilated, and as his body welled up with genuine terror, he said with an even calm that shocked himself, “Okay. You’re fine, handsome. We’re going to the clinic.” before leaning over to Kokichi’s side of the bed and saying, again, with a calm he did not feel, “Kokichi, it’s time to get up. Shuichi needs to go to the clinic. I need you to do some things.”

He had been practicing, as he often did when they went to bed early. And even when they didn’t, but it was easier for Kokichi to get both practice and a full night’s sleep in on early nights. He had been experimenting, taking his idea of an umbrella and turning it into a big top tent. It seemed appropriate, in a way, that he’d protect his daughter in the same style he protected himself. 

As such, it took Kokichi one, two blinks to orient himself back in the world of consciousness, but he rocketed out of bed without any further hesitation, eyes wide but focused. 

Shuuichi needed to go to the clinic.

Shuuichi was soaked. 

“...Dr. Tenchi said she was in residency at the hospital, for these last couple days. Let’s go there. I’ll wake up Maki-chan, and get a carriage ready.” With that, Kokichi slipped on some shoes--thankfully left by the door--and quietly slipped out the door, taking less than a second to go two rooms down and knock, firmly, but not panicked banging. 

Shuuichi needed them. They had been preparing for this.

“Send Tim our way too!” Kaito called out to him, before looking around for the wheelchair-- there, okay, of course it was there, tucked beside the small puzzle table, like always. Okay. Okay. Okay okay okay--

“Kaito.” Shuichi whimpered, “It’s not supposed to happen like this. I-I have another three days.”

‘Well, Miya seems to be done waiting.’ Kaito thought, setting up the wheelchair next to the bed before heading to Shuichi’s side, his heart thumping like a hammer in his chest as he said, “I know it is, babe, but we’re gonna take care of it. You’re just fine.”

“I’m not fine, it’s not supposed to happen for another three days--” Shuichi insisted again, like he could argue with the universe to get back on schedule. 

“I know, I know.” Kaito whispered soothingly, if nonsensically, about to put Shuichi in the wheelchair, but feeling how wet his boyfriend was--

Outside, Maki opened the door, blinking in confusion at Kokichi… before narrowing her eyes. “What’s gone wrong?”

Despite the desperate worry under the surface, Kokichi’s words were even and calm. “We’re taking Shuu-chan to the hospital. I think his water broke. If you grab the bags, you can go to him and Kai-chan while I wake Tim and get the carriage.”

He knew Maki would be on her shit. If there was anyone he could count on in a crisis, it was her (at least when it came to carrying out a plan that they’d methodically filled every gap of, even if they’d hadn’t planned for it to happen so early). So Kokichi didn’t wait around, trusting Maki to gather anything they needed and help Kaito bring Shuuichi downstairs while he fulfilled his own part. 

Another thirty seconds to Tim’s room. Kokichi knocked slightly louder than he did for Maki. Tim wasn’t a particularly heavy sleeper, but he wasn’t the same ‘spring up and go’ type that she was.

Send Tim… Have him get ready and come down to the carriage. Maki would be enough help to the others.

Maki headed to the prince’s and Shuichi’s room, opening the door just as Kaito was realizing Shuichi was wet and uncomfortable. 

“Grab me a towel,” Kaito told her, taking off Shuichi’s pajama bottoms and boxers, pulling the soaked cloth off, tossing to the ground as Maki went and grabbed two towels from the bathroom, Kaito murmuring to Shuichi, “Kokichi’s getting the carriage ready, Shuichi, we’re gonna head down in just minute.” as he took one of the towels from Maki and quickly wiped Shuichi down before placing it on the wheelchair seat, “Grab me a fresh shirt for him, Maki. Alright! Arms around my neck, handsome.”

Kaito was still stunned by how even his tone was, through this. He felt like screaming. He felt like barking every order in anger, and hell, if literally anything went wrong he just might. But even through his panic a voice kept reminding him ‘if you panic, he might hyperventilate’ and that thought stopped him cold from just losing it. A Shuichi through early contraptions was already bad. A Shuichi through early contraptions who was struggling to breathe could turn into an actual tragedy. Kaito had no choice. He had to keep it together.

So he grinned with a levity he didn’t feel as he lifted Shuichi up and placed him on the wheelchair, “Last step, handsome. You’re almost done.”

Placing the other towel on top on his lap, wrapping them together-- the first of many diapers, Kaito thought manically-- he grabbed the throw blanket at the end of the bed and placed it over Shuichi, grabbing the shirt Maki brought him and changing Shuichi out of his drenched shirt as he said, “Grab one of the healers from the medward, they’re coming with us for the carriage ride.”

“They might say it’s unnecessary.” Maki reminded him.

“Tell them the Luminary Prince insists.” Kaito practically snarled… before saying more quietly, grabbing Shuichi’s hat and putting it on his head while his boyfriend gave another pained whine, “Tell them Shuichi’s early and I just want to be prepared for anything else unusual. Tell them please.”

“Sure,” Maki said, grabbing the hospital bag and placing it over her shoulder, heading out.

As Timothy opened the door for Uncle Kokichi, he blinked and, at the far end hall, watched his mother run out of his fathers room and jump over the floor banister, falling to the second floor with the baby bag over her shoulder, “...?” he mumbled to Uncle Kokichi. “Baby?” he clarified.

Noticing Tim’s gaze go to the side, Kokichi looked over just in time to see Maki disappear over the side of the bannister. No time to lose, then. 

Turning back to Tim, Kokichi gave a nod. “Baby. Your sister’s had enough of waiting, it seems. We’re leaving as soon as we can, so get ready and come down to the front gate, alright?” Just for a moment, Kokichi stopped before heading off again, giving Tim an affectionate shoulder squeeze and a reassuring smile before starting to almost fly down the stairs. 

...Shuuichi was going to be fine. This was how plenty of people went through births, even people who were getting C-sections. The doctors knew their stuff, and they’d been through the plan so many times. Shuuichi and Miya were going to be fine. 

Kokichi’s heart was hammering in his chest, and not from running. 

Once upon a time, someone minding the stables wasn’t a 24-hour job. They just didn’t have the staff for it. Now Kokichi was endlessly grateful that the stablehands had decided to make a new position for overnight minding, just in case they got late visitors or someone needed to leave quickly in the middle of the night. 

Like them. Shuuichi had been scheduled for a morning appointment, originally. 

“Jun!” Kokichi called out, running into the small detached office in the corner of the parking area. “Jun, the baby’s coming, we need a carriage!”

Timothy nodded his head as his Uncle left, shuffling back inside and quickly getting his clothes on, Chase watching him as he said, “Come on, girl. We’re going to go help Miyako.”

As Kaito headed out of the room, pushing Shuichi along, Kaito spotted Tim coming out-- “Tim, help me set up the chair on the stairs.”

“Got it.” Timothy said, running over to the side lever and pulling it out. 

“...K-Kaito.”

“Yeah, handsome?” Kaito asked, hooking the chair up to the lever while Tim put the strap around. 

“Dr. Tenchi said people like me don’t usually survive natural births…”

“You’re not gonna have a natural birth, handsome, we’re still doing the C-section. We’re just going early. You’re going to be okay.” He said, pushing the wheelchair down the first set of stairs, before he and Tim undid the straps to move him to the next section. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I swear it.”

“...’kay…” Shuich’s hands were shaking as he looked up worriedly over his shoulder at Kaito, “...is M-miyako gonna be--”

“You are both going to be okay. Nothing is happening to either of you.” Kaito growled, getting him down the second staircase, “I swear it.”

In the medward, dark eyes looked up behind round glasses… and they sighed as Maki came rushing in, a stupidly familiar fierceness in her gaze as they asked, “Which one of them is it now?” Dr. Verassing asked.

Kaito got Shuichi to the ground floor, Chase circling Tim, her tail wagging as her head tilted in confusion, a weird vibe coming from her family as everyone both seemed to be hurrying as much as they could and were all trying to speak softly to each other. The tension like a balloon on the verge of popping. “Grab the door, Tim.” Kaito ordered, looking around, his back tensing, where was-- 

Maki fell from the sky, landing on the tiling below, as Dr. Veressing’s sensible heels tapped against the staircase as they rushed down, tsking, “You didn’t have to do that, you still have to wait for me to get down the stairs normally.”

Maki ignored them as she went to Shuichi, pushing his bangs out of his face, looking him over critically, before saying with all the certainty in the world, “You’re doing great.”

He was? Shuichi didn’t feel like he was doing great. He felt like this was terrifying… but everyone around him seemed so confident about this that it was hard to argue with any of them, just grunting in pain again as they all headed out the door.

They’d harnessed the horse in record time, the creature still clearly a little drowsy from being woken up, but ready to work. Thankfully no one had put themselves on the schedule for needing a carriage so the one Kokichi had signed out for Shuuichi was already prepared and had just been going to wait until the day.

They’d prepared. 

They had a plan.

Shuuichi and Miya were going to be okay. 

(Shuuichi’s water breaking was a surprise, but nothing else was. This wasn’t them scrapping at loose ends and trying to make something work. They had all the support in the world, and this wasn’t a do or die moment.)

(History wasn’t repeating itself.)

Kokichi had just guided the horse in front of the front gate when the doors opened, and he quickly hopped out of the driver’s seat to open the side door and lower the steps, his worried, and yet coolly calm gaze turning towards his family. Not quite waiting for someone to say something, or for someone else to take charge, but just...wanting to see that they were there.

Kaito looked at Kokichi, and said before he had time to think about it, “Maki, wake Ikou, Aiichi, and Denji. Aiichi and Denji just need to be informed, they’ll figure themselves out and tell anyone else who needs to know, but grab an extra horse from the stable and give Ikou a ride. Catch up to us… actually. I expect you to be there ahead of us.”

Maki turned and ran back inside without a word.

Dr. Verassing raised an eyebrow at that, surprised at the lack of argument to what she considered an unreasonable request, but the Luminaries kept moving, none of them finding anything unusual in it as Kaito continued, “I’m driving. Kokichi, Maki brought Dr. Varassing, they’ve agreed to ride with us, just in case. Timothy, you’re to assist Dr. Verassing in anything she asks you to do.”

“Alright, Shuichi, one more time, shoulders.” Kaito said, considerably softer, picking up Shuichi from the wheelchair and bringing him up into the carriage, Tim starting to fold the chair up to place inside too.

Kokichi didn’t put up a fight, insisting to drive. He didn’t say anything about Maki going to get Ikuo, or Kaito’s worried demand for them to ourspeed the carriage. He just stepped to the side as Kaito helped Shuuichi into the carriage and watched before giving Dr. Verassing a tired but thankful look. “Thank you for coming along. I know he’ll be taken care of at the hospital but...we just want everything to be as safe as possible, you know?”

His voice was even, but for a moment his hands trembled. 

It wasn’t long before Kaito situated Shuuichi, and Kokichi hopped in after Tim and the chair, sitting next to Shuuichi and putting a hand on his shoulder, shakiness gone. “Shuu-chan’s really strong… It’s exciting, we’re going to get to meet Miya sooner than we thought. Shuu-chan’s amazing.”

Shuichi just grasped Kokichi’s hands, leaning himself against him, burying his head into Kokichi’s hair as his whole body trampled and shuddered. “Kokichi.” He whined into his boyfriends skull, not able to communicate what he was asking for, just knowing he was scared and wanted to be comforted. 

Kaito glanced around the carriage, for a second reluctant to close the door, in case things weren’t okay when he opened it again… but Kokichi had this. He had access to a healer and Tim as an extra set of hands, Kokichi could handle Shuichi from here. 

Closing the door, Kaito got to the front of the carriage, “Hyup!”

-

Maki knocked on the king's door first, just because he was closest more than anything. If he took too long to answer, she was just going to pass the buck to one of the patrolling guards and move on. She didn’t have time to waste on someone she wasn’t even sure was actually meant to go, suspecting Kaito’s head had been at ‘Kokichi can’t sit alone in the waiting room’.

Aiichi felt like his head had barely hit the pillow, and in some sense, that was true. The king’s days were long, starting not too much earlier than the average person, actually, but stretching out long into the night. It was a rhythm that suited him, but Kokichi might’ve picked up some naturally poor sleeping habits from both of his parents. 

There was never a knock the king ignored, however, so he pulled himself up and answered the door, groggy voice dying in his throat as he saw who it was. Maki wouldn’t normally be cause for that kind of reaction, but...Shuuichi was due in three days. It was all his son and his partners had been preparing for. Maki showing up in the middle of the night…

(He’d barely gotten there in time to see Miyako the last time he ever would. He couldn’t even remember who had come to the meeting room, just the sense of world-shattering fear and panic as he ran across town, for once just pleading that this wasn’t reality.)

“The baby’s coming?” Aiichi asked instead, voice quiet and steady, his fear buried away. “Is there anything extra you need?”

“Was just tasked with informing you.” Maki responded simply, “They’re on their way to the hospital. I’ll inform Denji next and will be escorting Ikou personally. I believe everything is covered.”

Maki would ask if Aiichi needed anything, but he had a castle staff to requests things of, and Maki had a time limit she meant to hit. Briefly bowing, Maki bolted off-- backpack free, as she had passed it off to Timothy before she left-- heading to Denji next.

Aiichi nodded acceptingly. In the original plan, he was just going to come by the hospital later anyway, still allowed to see his grand-daughter but… Even with his improving relationship with Kokichi, and the few attempts at connecting more with Kaito and Shuuichi...Aiichi knew he wasn’t the father his son needed. Wasn’t a person his son’s family really wanted to associate with. 

And of course that hurt. But he knew his flaws and his mistakes, and he wasn’t going to demand to be a part of lives that did not trust him. 

He would not be there for his granddaughter’s birth, but he would get to see her on her birthday. And he could give her parents peace of mind by making sure all the official things were taken care of. Birth notices would be sent out and privacy measures would be established. And the family would get to just be a family.

“See you later,” Aiichi said to Maki’s back, before dipping back into his room to get dressed, plenty of work ahead of him.

-

Maki knocked on Denji’s door next, expecting this one to take about the same amount of time, if not less. Let them know, get going. 

Denji was...less in tune than Aiichi, still half asleep as they opened the door with an annoyed grunt. It would be the first time Maki had ever seen Denji with their hair down, blond waves cascading down their shoulders while a sheet mask was plastered to their face. They were wearing a vintage-style nightgown, something that didn’t look too different from a loose crossed robe, though there was subtle lace embroidery at the hems. 

“...nnnrg?” they intelligently asked.

“Your brothers waiting to have his kid at the hospital,” Maki explained, giving their outfit a once over before saying, “He needs support. Get it together and figure it out.” 

She then went running for Ikou.

Maki was already down another hall before the words finally filtered into Denji’s sleepy mind, their eyes popping open. 

“Son of a bitch!”

They let their door slam behind them as they started getting ready. They needed to go tell Lake and Nazumi, but before going to the hospital, they had promised Kokichi that they’d tell his friends, just something a little more personalized than finding out in the paper. Holy shit.

When Maki knocked on his door, it took Ikuo a moment longer than the others to answer, but when he did he stepped out of it, dressed and with a bag slung over his shoulder, his own hospital supplies. “Horse ‘er foot?”

Maki smirked. This was why Ikou was her favorite, among the mish-mash that Kokichi had decided to claim as family. Guy knew how to get it together.

“Horse,” She said, “We’ve got to hurry, they’re already on their way and Kaito doesn’t want to leave Kokichi alone when they get there.” She explained, the two starting to head down the stairs… before she asked, glancing meaningfully at the barrister, “You were an acrobat, right? Your knees still good?”

Bunny would be alright for a bit, but Ikuo didn’t intend to dawdle. Maki was going to be there for the surgery, after all. But that was no reason to be reckless. 

“Ain’t like they used to be,” he said plainly, “But’cha go on--won’t slow ya down much.”

Affixing the other strap of the bag around his chest, making sure it wouldn’t be jostled too much--there wasn’t anything breakable, but it paid to be cautious--Ikuo leaned into the side of the stairs that cascaded down itself and flipped himself over the railing...but didn’t let go. Instead he went hand over hand, gripping onto the bottom of the railing, finding his footing on the next part of the staircase below, crouching down and getting a grip with a hand before kicking his feet down and starting over. 

In all, if Maki needed to brace herself on the landing of each of her jumps? Ikuo would be just a few feet behind her, speed-walking to the door.

Yep. Definitely her favorite.

-

Kaito hadn’t had to drive a carriage through the inner part of the city before, Maki having handled that the few times they had had too, and halfway to the hospital Kaito was cursing at himself. He should have traded. He should have had her drive and gotten to get Ikou and Denji himself. A single horse with two people was faster than a carriage, Kaito could have caught up, but… he just hadn’t been willing to leave his partners. Fuck.

He was hurrying as safely as they could, but he felt like they were going too slow. He wanted to scream at every person in the road who had to shuffle aside as he rolled through and bit his tongue. None of them were lingering, and thankfully it was late enough that the streets were more sparse than they otherwise would have been, but…

He just wanted to be there now.

Inside, Tim watched Uncle Shuichi cling onto Uncle Kokichi. “...are you okay?” he asked uncertainly. Knowing his uncle was having a baby, but… was it supposed to look like this? Uncle Shuichi looked scared and upset, and every now and again his body shuddered, like wave of pain was running through him.

Kokichi had one arm around Shuuichi’s shoulders and another running through his hair, holding him close and keeping up a steady stream of encouragement and reassurance, the storm in his own heart calm for the moment as he focused everything on Shuuichi. Brave, strong, incredible Shuu-chan who was going to make it through this and finally get his bladder left alone while Miya was going to be healthy and energetic and finally giving the rest of them a taste of what Shuuichi had been caring for all this time…

Glazing over at Tim’s question, Kokichi gave his nephew a soft look. The realities of birth were...a bit much for an almost ten-year-old, even one that had been through war. And it was never fun seeing a loved one in pain. 

When Shuuichi didn’t seem like he was going to speak, Kokichi hoped he wouldn’t be overstepping too much. “Shuu-chan’s gonna be alright, Tim. Miya’s just surprised us, is all, and when a baby wants to be born, they’re not waiting for anything. So...it’s more uncomfortable for a bit, but when we get to the hospital, Dr. Tenchi is gonna take care of Shuu-chan and Miya, and they’re both going to be healthy and safe and comfortable. We just gotta tough out this part for a little longer first.”

Dr. Varassing nodded, noting the way Shuichi’s eyes focused as Kokichi talked and, wanting to add to the reassuring, said, “Pain is normal during birthing, but when we arrive to the hospital they’re going to give Shuichi a shot that will significantly calm his body down. He’ll go to sleep, and when he wakes up everything will be done, and he’ll still be pain free for a good while as the drugs go through his system.”

Shuichi squeezed Kokichi’s hand, body still trembling. He had already known all of that, but being reminded while pain wracked the inside of his body was… helpful. Almost done, almost done…

“...Kokichi,” Shuichi said, sniffling, not even really sure what he meant but feeling like he had to say it, “Don’t let anything happen to Miyako.”

He didn’t know what could happen or what Kokichi was meant to do if it did. He just knew that he felt weak and vulnerable and he needed the stronger people around him to assure him it was going to be okay. 

Kokichi gently squeezed Shuuichi’s hand back, mostly letting his hand be a stress ball for his boyfriend, but providing a little resistance, making sure that Shuuichi didn’t forget that he was right there, Shuuichi wasn’t alone. He stroked his hair and ran a hand down his neck and kissed his head, holding him close.

“I won’t,” he said with an authoritative finality. 

That was what he’d been working on for months, learning more and more about his daughter and preparing himself to be and do anything she needed. She had been a surprise, but Kokichi wouldn’t trade the gift of his daughter for anything. Everything was for her. Everything for Miyako. 

“She’s going to be amazing, just like you,” Kokichi said, kissing Shuuichi’s head again. “She’s going to be safe and healthy and happy, and we’ll make sure of that. And you’re going to be taken care of too. When you wake up, you’ll get to see her being alive and fussy and energetic because you did such an amazing job taking care of her, and everything’s going to be perfect. I promise.”

Shuichi nodded, closing his eyes and allowing the words to wash over him, deciding to just take it all as an absolute truth. Everything was going to be perfect. Kokichi had promised. Nothing was going to happen to them. Kaito had sworn. Maki was going to be waiting at the hospital for them, because Maki hadn’t said that she couldn’t and Maki could do anything.

Illogical. Impossible promises. Shuichi clung to them and made them his whole world.

And as Kaito let out a both relieved and frustrated breath, finally pulling up to the hospital… Maki walked out from where she had been waiting. “They know you’re coming, they’re setting up for you.”

“Good.” Kaito said, halting the horses and stepping down, “Thank you. Help me get Shuichi back in the chair.”