The family filed in, and almost as if Kokichi had literally invented him out of the air, the man with the sunset coloring was there again, and this time… almost entirely transformed, at least in comparison to how Kokichi had first seen him. Rather then looking lazy and bored, the man looked busy with paperwork, a rigid straightness in his back as he pushed up a pair of reading glasses with an almost overly distinguished air. He was also dressed much better than when Kokichi had run in, his hair carefully poised and flipped, his outfit both stylish but professional, and when they walked in he looked up and said, “Oh! Welcome. Please, wait a moment, I’ll inform Dr. Mariah you all have arrived.”

It was an easy, practiced introduction, and he seemed entirely comfortable giving it, the man getting up and heading down the hall while the bewildered family waited, rather then just heading to the roof right away like they usually did. Maki stared at the man suspiciously, Shuichi curious, while Kaito… okay, honestly he was mostly distracted by how pretty the guy was. He looked like he had just stepped out of a painting.

And Kokichi would be the only one who could feel the mixture of nerves, regret, and longing on him. 

Honestly, Kokichi hadn’t been expecting to see the receptionist…like, ever again. His encounter just a freak one-off that they’d chat about, but ultimately everything would go on as it always had. 

So…seeing the guy the picture of a dedicated receptionist and, yanno, there was enough that some of Kokichi’s shock bled onto his face as he blinked. 

And what he felt from him was…even more confusing. Maybe he would ask Dr. Mariah if her receptionist had a problem with them, if only to try and…console the guy a little. 

Still, while he left to…ring them in, he guessed, Kokichi turned to his family with wide eyes, gesturing to the now empty desk like, ‘See??? I told you?!’

‘I see, I see, it’s still weird!’ Kaito gestured back, shrugging helplessly, while Maki huffed. 

“Are we seriously going to wait here? She’s waiting on the roof for us. She’s always waiting for us on the roof. We don’t need introductions by this point.” Maki said, looking distinctly unimpressed. “Let’s just go.”

“Kaito could still be right, he could be new. Let’s not make his job difficult.” Shuichi cautioned, the four waiting for the man to return.

But it was Dr. Mariah, and not the receptionist, who returned first, the receptionist following and looking a little hurried and hassled, Dr. Mariah shooting him a stern look, the man looking far less dignified and professional as he looked ruffled, going to sit back down at the desk as Dr. Mariah nodded to the family. “There you are. Well, since I’ve come downstairs to greet you, Kaito, come help me bring the tea up. Shuichi, Maki, Kokichi, we’ll meet you upstairs.”

“Right, coming!” Kaito said, not balking at being put to work as he followed her to the employee kitchen.

Shuichi gave the receptionist a small nod as Maki headed out first, following her to the roof.

A small amount of concern came into Kokichi’s eyes as the receptionist looked…more like what he remembered from their last encounter. Seriously…what was up with this guy?

Giving Dr. Mariah a smile and a short nod, Kokichi gave the receptionist a much softer smile as they passed, hoping to…he didn’t know. Show that he wasn’t a person he needed to be so skittish around. Maybe take the first step to open a rapport if they guy needed to reach out to someone. 

Regardless, Kokichi murmured a gentle, “It’s nice to properly meet you, sorta,” as he gave him a nod before following his family up to the roof. 

And when they were up there, the door closed behind them…Kokichi hummed shortly as he found his seat. “...I don’t think he’s, like…intently dangerous. So whatever’s goin’ on, it’s not some big ruse, I don’t think.”

There was a light up like fireworks, emotion-wise from the man, who gave Kokichi a stiff little nod back. Dr. Mariah tasted the air and called over her shoulder, “Take your lunch, Blair!”

Blair shot the doctor an annoyed look, before watching Kokichi go, still lit up and happy at the little greeting. Honestly, he knew it was foolish but… well, there was no harm in looking, right? Right.

Upstairs, Maki said as she sat down, “Should we look into it? Just to be certain?”

“Kokichi didn’t feel anything dangerous on him, and he’d know, wouldn’t he? Maybe he was just uncomfortable.” Shuichi shrugged.

“Where did all your paranoia go?” Maki asked, genuinely dumbfounded, “I understand Drake, but now a stranger?”

“Our Kokichi is a mind reader.” Shuichi argued back, giving Maki an incredulous look, “Seriously, Maki, if we can’t trust that, what can we trust?”

Kokichi gave Shuuichi a soft look, before shaking his head a little, despite the fact that Shuuichi was arguing to trust his judgment. “I can sense emotions, and in that regard, I am a mind reader, but…people’s emotions are complex. And just because someone feels a certain way, it doesn’t necessarily have any bearing on what actions they’ll take.”

“I don’t think Blair-” he’d caught just the end of a name, “would mean us any harm, so…my own advice? Wouldn’t be to take any extra actions looking into him. But I’d still think it’d be smart to not let down our guard, when we’re around each other, and not invite extra interactions if we happen to see each other in town. Like…saying hi is normal, since we’re acquainted now, but if he asks any of us things that would seem suspicious from, like…anyone else? Keep that suspicion up.”

“Still, you are the safety expert,” Kokichi smiled at Maki. “It’s not like I could actually stop you if you wanted to look into him more.”

Maki gave Kokichi a long, long look, something weighted in the gaze… before she nodded. “I might still. But I’ll admit, knowing you all are taking better care of yourselves? Even just taking basic precautions makes any guards life significantly easier. Do you all have any idea how many dead people I’ve met would still be alive after I had met them if they had just taken honestly really, basic precautions? It’s honestly a little ridiculous, how easy people make it. Kokichi’s advice just now would have saved countless idiots who thought themselves invulnerable.”

“Dark, Maki.” Kaito called out reproachfully, Dr. Mariah holding the door open for him as Kaito brought up the platter of drinks. “Why are you being dark and weird to my husband?”

“I’m complimenting him. Sometimes my compliments are dark and weird.” Maki said indifferently, before looking to Dr. Mariah, “We’re discussing your receptionist. You want to inform us why he’s acting so weird?”

“Normally I’d say it’s not really my place to say,” Dr. Mariah said, going to sit at her own chair, settling in, “But this isn’t the group to say that too. You all will make it more of a headache then it’s worth. So to put it simply: he finds Prince Kokichi attractive and didn’t want to make you all uncomfortable with it. One of those ‘never expecting to meet your heroes and then suddenly they’re there’ sort of things. I’d ask all of you to not embarrass him with that knowledge, it’s immature but innocent enough. Any more questions?”

“...awwwww,” Kaito said, lighting up, while Shuichi looked more annoyed, “He’s got a fan-crush on Kokichi? That’s so cute… wow, he’s pretty too…”

It was good to have people to watch your back, but…you had to pull your own weight too. Kokichi might have something of a cheat code now, but like he said, emotions weren’t always a clear indicator of actions. It was best to still exert caution without letting paranoia rule your life. 

Not always the easiest balance, but he was going to do his best, and Kokichi gave Maki a grin for her recognition of it. 

However, the actual situation they were in…

Kokichi blinked, going a little pink as he reevaluated all the emotions he’d gotten and…ah. Yeah. That made sense. Aw… Looking a little sheepish now, Kokichi chuckled softly. “That’s awful flattering. I just hope I’m not making him too uncomfortable. Was…that the reason he’s never been around when we have appointments, or still just a coincidence?”

“The first time was a coincidence. The second time was testing me. And now that he knows I won’t scold him for it, he’d just decided to always be ‘busy’ with something else when your sessions started and ended. And while I can’t speak for him, the impression I always got was that he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Dr. Mariah said, “And he didn’t trust himself to not be awkward around you. Which I can now see was wise. He doesn’t even wear reading glasses.” She sighed, rolling her eyes a little.

Kaito, who had automatically started pouring cups for everyone, passing them around, said cheerfully, “Honestly? It’s not like we didn’t know there were fans before. Like, uh, of Kokichi… ya know. Physically. Didn’t that one woman’s sister have a poster of you over her bed? Sorry if this is news to anyone, but people don’t put pictures of other people over their beds for innocent reasons.”

“Kaito,” Shuichi scolded, looking more irritated, “You’re not even a little weirded out by that?”

“What? No? Why? Like Kokichi said, it’s flattering. Kokichi’s beautiful, of course people are going to notice. Especially when pictures of him are, like, everywhere.” Kaito shrugged, handing Kokichi his tea last before heading to his own chair.

It was kind of silly but…well, Kokichi wasn’t bothered, so he hoped Blair wouldn’t keep skipping out on work. It started being less endearing and more concerning, if his schedule started being changed because of an awkward feeling. Considering he was working for a therapist, Kokichi hoped Dr. Mariah had talked to him more about it. 

Kokichi sent Kaito a slightly strained look as he mentioned that bedroom pictures of him weren’t for innocent admiration, but he sighed a bit, thanking Kaito for passing out the tea. “I mean…not everywhere… It’s been a long time since I modeled for ads ‘n posters ‘n stuff. And…I guess, sure, there’s the picture from our wedding that’s more recent…”

Another sigh before Kokichi gave Shuuichi a mildly apologetic look. “It can be a little weird sometimes, but…as a public-facing figure, I kinda have to accept that some people are gonna get a little infatuated with my looks. It’s the same thing as creating a character in a painting--people are gonna like what they’re gonna like. That woman I met dancing was very nice, and people haven’t been creepy about it in a long time. Mostly, people are just…nice; excited and a little nervous at the extreme. Like those folks you and Nazumi have to ask to not pick me up in hugs, Maki-chan.”

“Kokichi, seriously, don’t bother explaining it to them. Maki and Shuichi know what it’s like to have weird, overly interested fans,” Kaito said, grinning wolfishly as he peered at his two friends, both of them suddenly finding looking at the sky or the ground far more interesting then his knowing gaze as he said, “Right?”

“A few admirers aren’t ‘fans’, Kaito.” Shuichi said, looking a little flustered and embarrassed. “Detectives aren’t the same as princes.”

“Sure, we had fans,” Maki shrugged, ignoring Shuichi’s pointed look as she said, “At least among the castle. Freaks who thought the death and mystery that surrounded us were appealing. They liked the idea of us more than they ever liked us. There was never anything more unappealing than realizing someone flirting with me was a ‘fan’ of what I did.”

“....okay, admittedly, there may have been one or two overly interested people I met over the years who I didn’t quite realize were… like that until Maki or Kaito would show up and basically threaten them away from me.” Shuichi sighed. 

Dr. Mariah said nothing, so far. She was observing them, tasting the air. The last emergency session still fresh in her mind. Though the group seemed to be in fairly good spirits, all things considered. 

Ah, that made sense. In different ways, but Maki and Shuuichi were both people who had been in the public eye too. And…kind of no matter how you got there, what you did, there would still be people that became enamored with the idea of you. And no matter how kind they were, if you met, that’s really all it was. The idea of you.

Kokichi nodded slightly, humming his understanding. “I imagine it’d be frustrating on both ends, though while it’d be a single instance for the person initiating, it’d be a little more constant for the public figure, and that would change the degree of frustration… Attraction is kickstarted in visuals, for a lot of people, I know, but…it’s just even more to untangle if someone is really determined just on the idea that they’re enamored with… And I imagine it’s different even still, having people be into the mystic of more macabre subjects, than a civil service worker, or someone whose job really is to be a known face.”

It did happen to Kokichi, every now and again, and he’d seen it a few times for his dad, though…especially in Kokichi’s childhood, people tended to be a little more discerning, when it came to a public widower. But maybe they just saved it for when he wasn’t around. Kids did tend to be a very loud reminder of what a person’s reality actually was.

“Yeah. But sometimes it works out, right?” Kaito chuckled, still looking delighted with the conversation as he said, “I mean, let’s be honest, our friendship started with me just absolutely fanboying over you two. The cool, fierce assassin apprentice, the suave–”

“Suave? I was ten.” Shuichi muttered.

“Intelligent detective apprentice. God, you guys were magnetic. I couldn’t get enough of you.” Kaito sighed, clearly reflecting on happier memories, before grinning brightly, “And then I got to know you, and you both were all of that, times ten. Being a fan absolutely worked out for me!”

“You all met when you were ten, Kaito.” Dr. Mariah said, taking out her journal and tapping her finger against it. “Were you truly impressed with their work ethic?”

“Nah. Well, yes, but that’s not all it was. I thought they were cute,” Kaito grinned, “I was smitten.”

“...that young?” Dr. Mariah asked, tasting the truth of what he was saying in the air.

Kaito startled at that, suddenly looking… less thrilled as he said, “Well, I mean… I mean, not explicitly like that. I was a kid, I barely understood what that was. But, like… I mean… not not like that, ya know? But in a kid way!”

Dr. Mariah considered him a bit… before asking, “May I ask. And you don’t have to answer. But can you remember when you did start finding people physically attractive?”

“...started?” Kaito asked, looking uncertain, “Uh… I don’t know… oh. Look, if this is about what I said during our emergency session, I… still don’t want to talk about that. Seriously.” Kaito said, forcing himself to not glance at Maki and Shuichi as he said, “It really isn’t a thing.”

“No, apologies, I’m not trying to bring it up again.” Dr. Mariah said, changing course, “I was pulling a separate thread, I wasn’t considering the earlier discussion. That said? Let’s get started officially, shall we? How has everyone been, since I’ve last seen you?”

Kokichi didn’t think it was that strange to find people cute at ten. Maybe it was different, but he could remember having all sorts of fictional crushes at around the same age, if maybe a little older. And…like, maybe seeing a cute guy that came to the castle sometime, and basing kiddie fantasies with a base model. There were plenty of those he had as a pre-teen that, as much as he knew Kaito would be over the moon to hear about, were just so, so cringey that Kokichi knew they were locked up in his mind closet for no one to ever see. 

And considering that how Kaito saw people at all was completely tied up with his physical perception of them…yeah. It made sense that Kaito got physically smitten with people as an early bloomer. 

But they could get to that all another time. 

“It’s been a little stressful but…ultimately okay,” Kokichi nodded, giving their therapist a mildly tired smile. “There’s…a bigger thing that I suppose we’ll get to as a group, but…other than that? We voted! And it was Kai-chan, Shuu-chan, and Maki-chan’s first time voting, so that was exciting!! And Miyako’s been a little cutie as always, she’s getting soooo good at keeping her head up while she’s on her stomach. And I brought out a book series I really liked as a kid for everyone to check out, so it’ll be nice to share some memories and discussion with that.”

“Excellent to hear. Shuichi, Maki, Kaito?” Dr. Mariah said, inviting the other three to chime in. 

“I’ve had a fairly easy month, honestly.” Maki shrugged, “Timothy’s friends came home. There’s been no plots or conspiracies. Not intentional ones, anyway.”

Dr. Mariah raised an eyebrow at that, “Interesting wording. Did an unintentional conspiracy happen?”

“Not… really.” Shuichi stepped in, adjusting his hat a bit, “Except for me trying to give Kaito an afternoon away from us. And it kind of… led to a misunderstanding that made things more difficult–”

“I accidentally told someone about Kokichi.” Kaito said dryly. “It was literally just an accident. And thankfully the person I told is understanding and will keep the secret. But… yeah. I messed up. It was a thing.”

“I see…” Dr. Mariah said, resting her head against the edge of her knuckles, “Kokichi? Is this the source of your stress? Or is there more?”

Kokichi nodded, not looking more tired, but…well, it was the explanation for the look at all. “That’s it… Well. I mean of course I’m gonna be worried when Kai-chan’s not feelin’ great, so that’s a part too, but…we talked about that.” Glancing over, Kokichi gave his husband an apologetic look. “...we haven’t talked a whole lot about it past the day you came over, though. I think that might’ve been my ‘not wanting to intrude’ bullshit again so… I mean. If you wanna talk more about Atua and everything…of course I wanna be there for ya, hun. I’m sorry for not checking in more, even if the answer was gonna be that you just wanted to keep thinking things over.”

But for the Drake situation…

Kokichi sighed, giving a little shrug. “...of course I was worried, when Kai-chan told us. Thankfully that person is someone I can trust and not just in words, but…I was worried about the accident too. But Kai-chan and I have talked more about that and…it’s okay.”

“Is it? Does everyone feel that way?” Dr. Mariah asked, looking curiously around the group. When there was silence in turn, she said, “It’s okay for the answer to be yes. Remember, the point of these sessions is to help you all be better communicators. How do you feel about how you all handled this latest difficulty?”

“...well.” Shuichi said, thinking back to it, “I believe we all handled it well, honestly. I mean, there were the normal theatrics–”

Kaito shot Shuichi a glare. “Me being upset isn’t theater.”

Shuichi sighed, giving Kaito a genuinely exhausted look, “I know that. But… Kaito it’s so hard not to set you off right now. Everything gets a reaction now. I know they’re sincere reactions, and I don’t know how to bring this up without being an ass and saying that you need to… calm–”

“Take a moment, Shuichi,” Dr. Mariah cautioned. “It’s alright to take a moment to think about your wording. But maybe that is a good direction to take this. We’ve discussed before, the idea of ‘non-traumatic’ reactions to trauma. Kokichi was the one trying to learn the balance between reacting honestly and harming others with our reactions, but perhaps it’s worth exploring this as a group issue, rather than merely his.”

Kokichi looked around at his family. He knew Maki was planning on keeping an eye on Drake regardless, just from the advantages he had over them in experience, and…well, all of them, Kaito included, were disappointed in his slip-up…but after a point that they had well passed, there was no point in keeping on his back about it. Kaito fucked up, thankfully there wouldn’t be terrible consequences for it, they talked and made a plan to avoid making the mistake in the future. It may not be emotionally done, but…actionably, it was. They just needed processing time. 

And…well, Kokichi felt like it was more than just processing for the original issue. Kaito seemed…to be in slightly better spirits about things, but…it was really heavy, learning about the gods. Especially from the understanding that Kaito was coming from. 

It made sense that he…was a bit touchier these days. Kokichi just…was hoping his attempts at being there for his husband were helping. 

Sighing softly, he gave Dr. Mariah a nod. “I mean…I like to hope I’ve been doing better about it these days, but…I guess? Guys?” Kokichi turned to his family. “If we discuss it as a group… I mean, if I’ve managed to be better about managing my emotions then…that means I might have some advice or insight to give, I’d think.”

“You have been, babe.” Kaito said quickly, giving his husband an earnest look, “If you’ve reacted extremely to anything lately, it wasn’t out of nowhere. It’s cause something happened, you know? You and I fighting is really the only thing I can think of, and seriously, that was not you overreacting, I definitely pulled that out of you. And other than us fighting? You’ve really been perfect about it, Kokichi.”

Dr. Mariah considered Kaito, before looking to Maki and Shuichi. Waiting for their input. 

“His reaction to learning he was an empath was pretty melodramatic.” Maki mused.

“No it wasn’t.” Shuichi said, giving Maki an exasperated look, “Not everyone’s so out of their mind that they can just shrug off being told they’re a dragon, Maki. Kokichi’s reaction was reasonable.”

“Any reaction that physically makes yourself ill isn’t reasonable. If the danger is feeling your feelings, then don’t feel them.” 

“Hmm. That’s probably also something we should look into. Either now or in our one on one sessions, Maki.” Dr. Mariah said, somewhat gently, before summarizing, “Correct me if I’ve misunderstood. Shuichi is troubled by Kaito’s reactions to things. Kokichi has his reactions relatively under control. Maki believes full control of feelings is possible, and Kaito feels the reactions you all have had have been reasonable. Yes?”

Kokichi gave his husband a thankful look, and it wasn’t just for blind reassurance. He had been trying to temper his emotions into things that wouldn’t hurt other people, and…it was nice to hear that the people he was most scared of hurting thought his efforts were paying off. 

Though, he wouldn’t call it perfect. 

“I wish I had been able to…soften the blow more for myself so I didn’t immediately throw myself into a panic attack…but part of me thinks that having a panic attack was a little warranted for something like this,” Kokichi sighed. “It’s good to learn more about the world, but…it’s really big, you know? There’s a reason it’s a lifelong endeavor. So anything changing dramatically is…dramatic!”

Still, he could do without any more panic attacks. 

Thinking over Dr. Mariah’s breakdown of their points of view, Kokichi hummed before nodding slightly. “...that seems about right, from how I see it.”

“Alright.” Dr. Mariah said, leaning back, crossing her legs at her ankle as she thought about how to approach this. “We’re going to get to all of this, and I may make this an exercise of some sort. But first we’re going to go back to what Shuichi was trying to say. Shuichi, you have some more time to think about it. The floor is yours, if you want to finish your earlier thought.”

“Right…” Shuichi sighed, looking to Kaito, “I’m not trying to say you shouldn’t feel emotions. That’s what I keep worrying it’s going to sound like. Like you, and I’m assuming Miss Crystal, keeps saying, you’re allowed to be upset. That’s not the problem. I just… have gotten to this point where I’m starting to… honestly, live in fear of upsetting yo–”

“HA HA HA HA!” the door burst open, a loud, boisterous voice filling the air as he said, “SO THIS IS WHERE YOU ALL WERE HIDING! A SECRET PANEL IN THE WALL, HUH? QUIRKY! I LIKE IT!”

Dr. Mariah’s whole body stiffened, a flash of rage flashing through her expression… before it disappeared as soon as it was there, the young looking woman cooly at the three intruders as she said, “Ah, I see… I imagine my receptionist is still taking his lunch. Still, I do not usually have to inform people that this area is off limits, if there’s no one to greet potential patients at the door. If this is an emergency call, I’m sorry to inform you I do not have a slot open right now, and need you to try one of my colleagues.”

“EMERGENCY? NAH, NO EMERGENCY. WE WERE INVITED!” Nekomaru called, Kaito looking horrified as the man gave him a nod, “RIGHT, PRINCE KAITO!?”

Kirigiri looked around, not as enthusiastically intruding as her friend, Oliver at her heels as she said, “We were invited. When we heard you were all arriving here to do another session, we thought perhaps we were expected to find the area ourselves… did you not request our presence, Dr. Mariah? Our good prince Kaito said you specifically requested our assistance.”

Dr. Mariah shot Kaito a pointed look, Kaito already hiding his face behind his hands. Shuichi and Maki both looking at their mentors with equal embarrassed horror. Though, both of the charges immediately stood up respectfully as the mentors approached the pond, stepping away from their chairs. A wordless permission to take the seats if their mentors desired.

…there was a big problem if you were afraid of upsetting a partner. Shuuichi hadn’t even gotten to the reasons why that fear existed, but…

Well, Kokichi had barely begun to process what Shuuichi said at all, when he jumped in his seat, startled by the…well, unexpected loud volume in a voice that wasn’t the five of them. Ah…ah. That was…

Another decision rearing its consequences, he supposed. How to approach…

Considering there were three newcomers, and Kaito seemed a bit preoccupied, Kokichi wriggled out of his egg and smiled at the mentors. “Hello, Mr. Nidai, Miss Kirigiri, Miss Luna! Ah, you can take my seat if you’d like, Miss Luna.”

With a careful smile, Kokichi continued, “It’d be a bit weird for us to leave you to your own devices for something like therapy, which is wholly contingent on communication…still, sorry for the odd expectations. We all had discussed you all coming to a session, as we talked briefly about during Zenith, though we all were going to discuss with Dr. Mariah to schedule a proper session with everyone present. Thus the confusion.”

“We all are here now, though, so…” Kokichi looked to Dr. Mariah, giving her a slight shrug, before subtly glancing at his family. There could be a way to ask the mentors to leave until another session…or they could just rip the bandage off now. Even if they did have other issues to discuss.

“Thank you, Shuichi.” Miss Kirigiri said, nodding to her charge as she sat down in his chair, looking a little startled when it swayed beneath her, sighing as she planted her feet on the ground, steadying it. “A bit unusual decor for a professional environment, isn’t it?”

Nekomaru laughed loudly at that, pushing his chair a little, before turning to Maki, giving her a wide grin before taking her face in his hands. He turned her head this way and that, before scoffing at her expression, “WHAT? I’M HERE CAUSE YOU NEED ME, MY GIRL. TRY TO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M ABOUT TO MAKE YOU RUN EIGHT HOURS!”

“Apologies.” Maki said stiffly, bowing her head slightly as Nekomaru just sighed at her formalness, giving her shoulders a loving squeeze before sitting down in the chair, the chair dipping slightly at his weight. 

“O-oh, oh, uh, ‘Kichi, you can take my chair if you're giving up yours.” Kaito said, quickly standing up and stepping aside of his chair as Oliver gave Kokichi a bright smile, bowing low to him.

“So generous. Thank you, Prince Kokichi. If you insist, I will happily accept, your grace.” Oliver said, taking a seat before smiling brightly at Kirigiri, “Honey, do you see that? A prince gave up his seat for me~”

“Dicea is truly a strange place,” Kirigri agreed, nodding her head in thanks to Prince Kokichi, before asking him, “Though the impression I am getting is we weren’t expected. Perhaps we shouldn’t overstay our welcome…”

“WHAT?” Nekomaru said, looking offended as he looked to Prince Kaito, “NO, THEY DON’T WANT US TO GO. WE HAVE THINGS TO DISCUSS! RIGHT, PRINCE KAITO? YOU WOULDN’T DO SOMETHING FOOLISH, LIKE MAKE UP A REQUEST TO SEE US AND THEN FORGET TO TELL ANYONE, RIGHT?? JUST TO MAKE A FOOL OF HIS POOR EX-INDENTURED SERVANTS? RIGH!?”

Kaito twisted his hands, staring at his feet. “...um… I…”

“There’s been a misunderstanding.” Dr. Mariah said, something… intense. In her voice. A fierceness that the regular therapy squad would be almost entirely unfamiliar with, the only thing close to it being when she sometimes scolded Maki and Shuichi, but far more pointed, as she seemed to somehow look at everyone all at once, “And that misunderstanding is that you all are under the impression it’s the princes that you need to answer too, for intruding on my roof, during one of my sessions.”

“You are incorrect.” Dr. Mariah said, a tense, heavy, dark atmosphere almost layering the roof like a fog, her red eyes growing darker as her eyes widened, almost seeming older a she said, “You actually need to answer to me. Which now everyone is going to do. Everyone. Find a seat.”

Kokichi gave Oliver a smile in return, knowing that it was something of a novelty still before going to Kaito’s side, waving him back down to his seat before he took a spot on the ground, not quite next to Kaito’s legs, but near. He knew there were all sorts of complications and insinuations about everything (mostly since that’s just how Kokichi’s impressions of social interactions in Luminary was right then) but…well, therapy would be challenging those. And Kokichi would rather Kaito keep his seat--he was already used to looking up at people. 

But as much as Kokichi was trying to smooth things over as much as he could…

This was Dr. Mariah’s time. 

He tensed slightly, feeling the change in the air and…

Well, he didn’t entirely mean to. But he sent a small {Sorry!} over to the petite woman.

Kaito gave Kokichi a mildly helpless look that his husband likely wouldn’t see, glancing up at the three mentors, who were watching him curiously. Kokichi was, strictly speaking, the highest ranking person here, and Kaito felt his eyes slightly dilate as his husband sitting near his feet. He’d have probably not thought much of anything about it, in any other situation, but… there were Luminaries here. Who knew better…

But, but! Kaito couldn’t peer pressure his husband into the seat either, not after Kokichi had just so blatantly given it to him, and not when a commoner had just taken Kokichi’s seat unchallenged by anyone. 

Kaito’s compromise to himself was offering a quick, “Thank you, Kokichi.” Before sitting back down, Nekomaru snickering, Oliver smirking, but Kirigiri looking on approvingly. The other two might take some delight in watching Kaito navigate the position Kokichi had put him in, but Kirigiri recognized Kaito had made the best decision he could in that moment. Not embarrassing his husband by challenging him, trusting that no one would interpret this as Kokichi submitting himself to him. A worthy enough compromise. 

Maki and Shuichi, in turn, looked to each other, looked at the situation… before wordlessly both deciding to head to the other side of the pond. Sitting near Kokichi, rather than over by their original seats. At that, Miss Kirigiri frowned, surprised at their choice. Perhaps it was because they had so clearly upset their therapist.

Wanting to smooth the waters a little, Kyoko turned to Dr. Mariah, bowing her head respectfully as she said, “We apologize, I understand that this has perhaps been rude. Dr. Mariah, isn’t it? My name is Kyoko Kirigiri, this is Nekomaru Nidai–”

“PLEASE, CALL ME NEKO!”

“And my… partner. Oliver Luna . We… suspected that perhaps Prince Kaito may have impulsively made up an invitation for us to come. But we really had arrived under the possibility that you had been informed of this impulsive invitation by this point. We did not mean to interrupt, and sincerely apologize if we have done so.”

“...hm,” Dr. Mariah said, her face impassive, before glancing at Shuichi, “Well, now I know you come by it honestly. Her expression barely shifted at all, between the truth and lies.”

Shuichi gave Dr. Mariah a mildly uncomfortable look. “...I would never suggest my mentor is anything but truthful, Dr. Mariah.”

“Maybe not to her face,” Oliver snickered, before smiling sweetly when Kyoko shot her an exasperated look.

Kokichi could feel Kaito’s discomfort edging on panic and…well, maybe he was learning something, because he didn’t physically try and comfort Kaito in front of people he really respected. He still thought all the hoops were tedious and ridiculous, but…that didn’t change that a majority of the people there truly believed in them, and felt things according to that. 

So…very gently, he reached out to Kaito. {It’ll be okay. I love you.}

Though…he was still very much the person that bluntly asked questions about Luminary a year ago and…maybe he did get some satisfaction, hearing another person call everything out. Kokichi felt too uncomfortable to urge his family into being more truthful--if that was even really it--with their mentors but…hey. It could be hoping for a miracle, but he could hope they might make headway on that today.

If the mentors would stick around. 

Giving Shuuichi a covertly amused look, Kokichi shrugged slightly. “In fairness, we haven’t had a proper session since before Zenith.”

Kaito glanced at Kokichi, giving him a small smile that, again, Kokichi probably couldn’t see. Honestly, Kaito was feeling really embarrassed right now. When he had made the invitation to the mentors to come to a session, he had sort of thought, well… the ball would be in their court. That they’d set up a session ahead of time, maybe even tell Dr. Mariah some of their issues with the three, go in prepared by the time this happened. The three just… deciding to show up? Kaito hadn’t seen that coming at all. Before he even had a chance to tell Dr. Mariah what he had done…

And she was so clearly pissed about it. Oh, sure, her expression had evened out now, but that was easily the angriest Kaito had ever seen their patient therapist. Giving her a guilty, apologetic look over the shoulders of his family, Dr. Mariah gave him a cool– borderline chilly– look, before refocusing on the mentors. 

“First of all, I don’t appreciate Neko, as he’s allowed me to call him, mocking one of my clients with his rudeness, and then you… may I call you Kyoko?” Dr. Mariah waited as Kyoko nodded stiffly, before continuing, “Turning around right afterwards and suggesting this was not an intentional attempt at humiliation. I don’t know what sort of game you think this is, but these therapy sessions are meant to be safe spaces for my clients. You have brazenly intruded on said space with the intention of upsetting people under my care.”

“I take that very personally.” Dr. Mariah told them darkly, and while it, of course, had to be a trick of the light, her red eyes almost seemed to be darkening into a near black color, for a moment, before clearing up as she said, “And if I did not believe addressing this as a group wouldn’t be useful to my clients, I would have sent you away with an apology to them for allowing this disruption to happen at all. However… the mere fact that they reacted to your rudeness how they did? Makes me believe there are some issues we need to address, for their health.”

“If our presence is such a burden, we can just go. We came because we were invited, regardless if we knew if the invitation was sincere or not–” Kyoko said stiffly.

“No.” Dr. Mariah said, frowning at her, “You are not the type to be chased off by aggression. So don’t waste time bluffing.  You all inserted yourself into my session, and you’ll stay and see it through… unless, very specifically, any of my clients reject this.”

And at this, Dr. Mariah’s expression softened, turning to her group as she said, “And you can say yes, this is too much for you. This isn’t an environment where large, ugly surprises are forced onto you. The most trying game you should play here is me acting confrontational, on occasion, if I think you need the jump. Something like this? Any of you can say no, and I will send them away.”

Kokichi respected Dr. Mariah for a lot, in many ways, but her ease and strength in just…cutting through the tape that the mentors stretched across everything was…sublime. Honestly what Kokichi wished he could do, sometimes, but had learned to be quiet and fiddle with the lines one by one, for the sake of his family. To prevent them shutting down in self-defense…and, when it came to the mentors, to preserve the love of a family made in strenuous circumstances. 

Maybe that was a problem in itself. Maybe Kokichi was being too generous with his intentions, and not generous enough with his family’s own strength. But it still was something incredible to see. 

They really did need to talk about how their emotions affected each other, how Shuuichi was struggling with Kaito’s right now. Kaito’s struggles with religion, part two. 

…but this was likely, if not their only chance, then one of their best, to actually have a session with the mentors. Which…Kokichi did think they would benefit from. 

But his only fear was pushing a divide between his loved ones and their parents. His family’s fears, which Kokichi knew he’d gotten glimpses of…were different and more complex. And a lot of the time, it was already hard enough for them to feel safe in talking during therapy. 

Looking around to his family surrounding him, Kokichi shrugged gently. “...what do you guys think? I know we have a lot of other stuff to get to…” …maybe that was a subtle enough out, if his friends didn’t want to seem like they were the ones it was all too much for. It was definitely sliding backwards, but…well. That’s the change Kokichi had noticed in small ways, when his family was around their parents.

Kaito didn’t say anything, just fussing with his hands, knowing out of anyone he had no right right now to decide anything. This was his fault, and it wasn’t even his parents. He had fucked up and put Maki and Shuichi into such a difficult position…

Shuichi and Maki glanced at each other. As stated before, they couldn’t actually hold conversations silently. If they disagreed on anything, they usually missed it, in looks like these… but sometimes that didn’t matter. They couldn’t communicate fully, but Shuichi could see Maki stiffening up, clearly intimidated by her mentors presence, and seeing her discomfort upset him. His jaw hardening, before he reaching over, putting his hand on her arm, squeezing it gently… and seeing the calm that came over her face, he said evenly, his own expression near matching Kyoko’s cool, icy calmness as he straightened his back and lifted his head just as Maki lowered hers, sitting on her legs demurely, hands near her skirt and eyes unfocusing so she could watch all of them more evenly as Shuichi said, “If our mentors are so concerned for us as to make a trip here, of course we are happy to hear them out.”

“And perhaps,” Maki said, a heat radiating off of her, “We can clear up some misunderstandings we have–”

“AH, SEE? ONLY HERE FIVE MINUTES, AND MY GIRL IS FINALLY REMEMBERING HER MANNERS–”

“Under Dr. Mariah’s guidance.” Maki continued stiffly, the heat getting stronger. “This is her space, after all. And we all do these sessions with a certain understanding that we will allow her to set the boundaries here. If you’re going to join in, it’s under the guideline that you will respect her final word on these things as well.”

“OH?” Nekomaru said, digging his finger into his ear as he gave Maki a slightly bewildered look, turning to Dr. Mariah and saying plainly, “WHAT, YOU MORE FORMIDABLE THAN YOU LOOK? NOT UNHEARD OF, THE BEST FIGHTERS CAN BE. THOUGH MY MAKI DOESN’T USUALLY DEFER TO ANYONE, NOT EVEN AUTHORITY, DESPITE MY BEST ATTEMPTS. WHAT MAKES YOU SO TOUGH?”

Dr. Mariah, in turn, was a little amused with Maki’s instructions– getting her and Shuichi to respect her guidelines was often a trial, after all, so seeing them rely on it was a little validating, if nothing else– before giving Nekomaru a decidedly less amused look. “Again, you are misunderstanding the situation, Neko. This is my space, and I have nothing to prove to intruders. Still, as my clients seem to be in agreement, no one objecting to your presence? We will begin.”

“First of all,” Dr. Mariah said, ignoring Nekomaru’s disapproving turn up of his lip, the man’s disapproval for her total dismissal of his challenge not her problem, the therapist looked to Kaito, who gave her a tired look as she said, “I want to know how this situation came about. Kaito? You invited them?”

“Uh… well… yes, I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, I didn’t expect them to arrive without a date set.” Kaito said quickly, digging his nails into his knuckles as he explained, “I… I lied about you wanting to see them. And I did that because… I thought we needed your help, honestly. We’ve…” Kaito’s eyes flickered to the mentors, who were watching him intently. “... had some difficulties. Talking to them since they arrived.”

“Have we?” Kyoko asked, narrowing her eyes, “I was unaware, Prince Kaito. Please, do inform me how my charge and I’s relationship is going. I’d love to be in the know.”

“Kaito can’t speak for Shuichi.” Dr. Mariah said quickly, before Kaito could struggle to get the words out. “And all I wished to know from him is how this started. But I see. Kaito was concerned for his family, and wanted my help. I wish he had done this in a different order, but otherwise that is an understandable request. And I am happy to offer my assistance.”

“Yeah! Yeah. I’m still sorry–”

Dr. Mariah raised a hand, dismissing Kaito’s apology. Looking across the mentors, she said, “From our sessions in the past, I believe I can guess some of your roles. Kyoko, you are Shuichi’s mentor, yes? You raised him as a Detective, to replace you as Royal Detective in time?”

“Correct.” Kyoko sighed, reserving herself for a strange experience.

“And Neko, you are Maki’s mentor, raising her into the position of Royal Assassin?”

“WHICH SHE WOULD HAVE EXCELLED IN, HAD PRINCE KAITO NOT DRAGGED HER AWAY! SHE’S A PRODIGY, MY MAKI!” Nekomaru said, clearly beaming with a genuine paternal pride, which seemed to take some of the edge of Maki’s heat off. The younger ex-assassin now looking a little more uncomfortable and uncertain in the face of her mentors praise.

“I see. But you, may I call you Oliver?”

“Please do,” Oliver smiled, “And I’m not really anyone. I’m just here to support my girlfriend, Kyoko.”

Dr. Mariah tasted something sour radiate off of Shuichi at that. “I see.” She said.

Of course Kokichi knew the answer. The mentors weren’t even citizens, simply people on vacation, so despite the travels that they’d packed their schedules with in the few months they’d been in Dicea…it took a lot more than that to understand all the cultural differences. And it would take likely deciding to stay to see those differences and meaningfully decide how they would apply personally. 

Kokichi had learned that the type of respect that was expected in nearly every interaction (at least from the perspectives of a prince, a royal detective, and a royal assassin) just…didn’t exist in Dicea. But it still was…mildly frustrating to see Nekomaru expect it here. 

All of the habits his friends had, and thus the mentors had to an extent, were polite social convention and the things one did to keep safe in Luminary. It took a lot of observation and analysis to see how differently they all worked in Dicea. And…familially, being a Dicean surrounded by Luminaries… Not lawfully, but Kokichi did have an obligation to be more considerate about the culture differences. 

If memory served him right, Kaito had come up with the idea to get Maki out of an uncomfortable conversation regarding Tim with her mentor…but it could be more than just a cover. And…Kokichi did think that getting help would…well…help.

It was just unfortunate the way it came together. 

As Dr. Mariah made proper introductions, Kokichi glanced between Oliver, Kyouko, and Shuuichi. Oliver was definitely someone, even not…thinking about the thing Kokichi had overheard. Even just being Kyouko’s girlfriend…if Kyouko wanted Shuuichi back in her life, and he wanted her back in his, then…Oliver was a part of that. And if they had been dating as long as they’d said, then she, retroactively, was a huge part of that. 

…you couldn’t be family and watch from afar. Despite what Kokichi had talked to his father and uncle about…family was family. And they were going to affect things one way or another. 

Maybe they could have another discussion about all that. Probably not today and…even otherwise Kaito already had a lot on his plate… 

Damn. 

“So, just so we all understand how these sessions usually go, Kyoko, Neko, Oliver, when I ask someone a question? The policy is to allow them to speak until their thought is done before we open the floor to everyone else. And we do not speak for anyone else. It can be a little tricky to conduct conversations like this, when you are not practiced at it, so if I seem to correct you frequently? It’s not me targeting you, it’s simply that Kokichi, Kaito, Maki and Shuichi are more practiced at this then you are.”

“That said?” Dr. Mariah turned to the right side of the pond, where all of her clients were seated together, asking, “Shuichi, Maki? Kaito put together this meeting because he was worried about your families ability to communicate with your mentors. I understand if this is a difficult way to air out any concerns you’ve developed, as I know your relationship with yours mentors doesn’t begin or end with this single session. There is no pressure to reveal things you do not wish to handle the long term consequences for. Please, consider this session your chance to speak of things that have been on your mind that you feel comfortable discussing by this point. Are there any topics you’d like to bring up yourselves?”

“...”

“...”

“WELL, I HAVE ONE! WHAT’S THIS REFUSAL TO LET ME WATCH YOUR–”

“No.” Dr. Mariah said, her voice heavy. Nekomaru’s voice leaving him, the man not entirely certain why he had stopped talking, supposing he had just been startled??? As he gave the therapist an incredulous look as Dr. Mariah stood up, walking over to him. 

Nekomaru tensed, his face growing serious, waiting for a fight as she approached… before looking surprised as she gave him a lollipop. “When it’s not your turn, keep this in your mouth. It’s a physical reminder that it’s not your turn to interrupt. Thank you.”

“YOU WANT ME TO SUCK ON A LOLLIPOP? SERIOUSLY??”

“Mr. Nidai,” Maki said softly, bowing her head slightly, “That’s what I meant when I said we all agree to follow Dr. Mariah’s guidelines. Please.”

Neko frowned at that… before shrugging, popping the lollipop into his mouth and crossing his arms over his chest. If his charge was going to ask him so politely? Fine. 

Though, it was tough to hold to it as Maki took a steadying breath… and started saying, “I was an assassin. And I was a prodigy, taught well by my mentor, who did everything a mentor could possibly do to help someone like me succeed in a profession like ours. And I am grateful for that. Truly… but I’m not an assassin anymore. Or an indentured. And my son is that. My son. Not my charge. And… I expect him to be treated a certain way. I don’t…” Maki paused, almost expecting to be interrupted as she felt electricity over her skin, her hair raising on her skin as Mr. Nidai gave her a frustrated look… but the larger man kept the lollipop in his mouth, and Maki steeled her courage as she continued, “I don’t believe you understand that yet. That Timothy is not like us. He’s not to be trained, or hardened… in fact. Kaito and I have made the agreement to…” Maki sighed, looking a little embarrassed at this, “...’soften’ him. We’re attempting to spoil him. We’re doing it for our own reasons, I don’t expect you to understand. But I don’t want to risk you undoing our efforts.”

There was silence at that, the only sound, after a moment, Neko tapping his foot impatiently… before popping his lollipop out, giving Dr. Mariah an exasperated look, “WELL, DOC? NOW CAN I TALK?”

“Maki?”

“...yes, that’s what I wanted to say.”

“Very good. The floor is open.”

“WHO’S DUMB IDEA WAS THAT? SPOILING HIM? WHAT?” Nekomaru frowned, giving his charge a disapproving look as he said, “ARE YOU SICK OF HIM? HOPING SOMEONE WILL COME ALONG AND GET RID OF HIM FOR YOU?”

At that, Kaito stiffened. His guilty, uncertain air bleeding away as anger caught at him, clenching his fist as he said, back straightening and voice deepening slightly, “That was my idea, actually, Mr. Nidai. And I’d ask you to show it some respect. Timothy is as much my child as Maki’s, and we’ve made this decision for him. We’re preparing him for Dicea. The rules are different here.”

Nekomaru scoffed at that, “YEAH? YOU’RE RAISING THE KID IN A CASTLE OF FAILED ASSASSINS, AND YOUR SOLUTION IS TO MAKE HIM THE WEAKEST ONE THERE? THAT’S YOUR DECISION TO PREPARE HIM FOR DICEA, PRINCE KAITO? WELL, NOW I’M CONVINCED OF IT. YOU JUST ORDERED HER TO DO THIS, HUH?”

Kokichi gave Maki a soft, proud look. While there had been various forms of it, he knew this wasn’t a mindset she had always gone into while debating where to put her efforts in raising Tim. But her affection had always been there for the boy. Whether just in determination to keep him alive, at the beginning, to…him being her son, who would have countless opportunities that she never got, and would not have to navigate the same dangers. 

And Nekomaru assuming that the pasts of various people who worked in the castle equated that was…really sad. And aggravating. And…likely things that Maki had been working with in herself for a long time. 

So…maybe it was with some of that frustration that Kokichi looked up at Maki’s mentor, soft and cool in his expression. “Mr. Nidai? I suppose I can make some assumptions, but that’s what we try to avoid during these sessions, and for our communication as people who respect each other as a whole. But I would like to ask… Why are you so angry at Kai-chan? Maki-chan is more than capable and willing to make decisions on her own, especially when it comes to the well-being of their son. Asking if she has no autonomy in a place that more than grants it legally, and knowing that she can do it physically, casts a light insinuating that you do not trust her decisions for her own life.”

Nekomaru wasn’t quite as quick to snipe at Kokichi, not the way he did Prince Kaito. Nekomaru had, in a very real way, basically helped raise Kaito, and even being royalty, there was such a familiarity there, Kaito having let so many things go in their lives, that Nekomaru felt comfortable being blatantly dismissive of him. Like Kaito had explained to King Aiichi once, when it came to Luminaries, respect was a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. People treated you with the amount of respect you demanded of them, and if you didn’t demand it, they wouldn’t.

But the default for royalty was to treat them with deferment. And while the Ouma’s had repeatedly shown they wouldn’t demand respect, Nekomaru was still hesitant to not give it to them, that sort of trust needing to build over time. That was the thing. Nekomaru treated Kaito poorly because, largely, he trusted him. And he trusted him because–

“WHILE I UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT, PRINCE KOKICHI, AND THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY CHARGES DEFENSE– AS THE HEIR-APPARENT, IT’S A RELIEF TO HEAR YOU ARGUE FOR HER FREEDOM OF CHOICES– MY CONCERN FOR MAKI’S DECISION MAKING ISN’T STRICTLY LEGAL, NOR IS IT EVEN STRICTLY CONDITIONING.” Nekomaru said, hesitating to continue…

Dr. Mariah noticed the hesitation, and with more gentleness then she had shown the mentors so far, said, “Communication comes from all sides, Neko, and a structure like this can be useful not just to allow my clients to voice their concerns, but to hear yours. And Kokichi is correct, your concern for Maki’s autonomy is a worthy thing to discuss. Maki, is this something you wish to discuss with your mentor more frankly?”

Maki frowned… before nodding. “Yes, please. My mentors views are important to me. My not wanting Tim to be trained as an assassin does not mean I intend to dismiss more that you wish to teach me, Mr. Nidai.”

“AW, MY GIRL. YOU REALLY DO HAVE A SWEET SIDE THAT YOU KNOW JUST HOW TO STAB ME WITH.” The man sighed, scratching at his cheek… before huffing, “I’M NOT SAYING ANYTHING YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW I’M WORRIED ABOUT. JUST NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE SAYING THIS IN FRONT OF HIS GRACE, THAT’S ALL… PRINCE KOKICHI, I’M HOPING I’M NOT CAUSING A SCANDAL AMONG YOU AND YOURS IF I SAY THAT LOVE MAKES PEOPLE DO STUPID SHIT, AND MY MAKI IS NO EXCEPTION. EVERYONE KNOWS SHE’S IN LOVE WITH THAT HUSBAND OF YOURS. SHE’S BEEN CHASING HIM HER WHOLE DAMN LIFE, CHASING THAT ‘MAYBE’ HE’S LEFT LIKE A DAMN CARROT ON A STRING FOR HER. CONDITIONING, LEGALITIES, IT DON’T MATTER. THAT MAN SAYS JUMP? MY GIRL’S GOING TO SAY ‘HOW HIGH’.”

“Maki just helped topple a government, despite Kaito’s express wishes.” Shuichi said, ready to jump to Maki’s defense as Maki stared at the ground, shamed by her mentors accusation, “You haven’t been around to see this arguments and tension her choosing to defy him as riddled this group with, how dare you suggest–”

“Patience, Shuichi.” Kyoko interrupted, narrowing her eyes, “Mr. Nidai is your senior, and has always looked after you. You will respect him.”

“Rebelling against his brother is certainly bold, if she was acting against his wishes,” Oliver said, kicking her legs slightly as she tilted her head a bit, “If it was against his wishes, that is. Did Prince Kaito not know about Maki’s rebellion efforts? Because if he didn’t approve of it, certainly he could have undermined her and saved his brothers position? Either he didn’t know, or he gave his approval, surely.”

Kaito, who had been shamed into silence about the reminder of Maki’s feelings for him, widened his eyes, genuinely shocked by Oliver’s accusation… before he realized, oh… did… was that the belief back in Luminary? Did people think Kaito had… well, he supposed they must. Even if he hadn’t, personally, publicly approved the upheaval to anyone other than the Queen herself, his husband’s family had… his own silence was probably damning enough, but it’s not like the Ouma’s hadn’t acknowledged Kaede as Queen…

No, don’t get distracted. This wasn’t about him. Maki needed him right now. 

“I begged Maki to not do that,” Kaito said, willing to shame himself as he explained, “I ordered her to stay, and only out of my respect for her did that order not come with a conditioning trigger. I did everything short of force her to stay by my side, and she still left. Regardless of our history, Maki is painfully her own person. I couldn’t control her if I wanted too.”

“No?” Kyoko said, tilting her head slightly, “There’s a rumor that Maki argued for Byakuya’s life when execution was being decided for him, and that it was her arguments that saved him at all. Was that not by your will then? Maki’s not known for her mercy.”

“...with all due respect, Miss Kirigiri?” Kaito said stiffly, barring his teeth at her, “You don’t know Maki as well as you think you do if you don’t fucking recognize that Maki’s merciful.”

Well, he did know that well. Love was for idiots, because it made fools of them all. And Maki’s love for Kaito was strong and plain to see. She followed him across a war zone and gave up her established life to stay there. When she left to finish the job protecting the other people she loved, she had more reasons to than just Kaito, but she came back, facing expected death, even if it wouldn’t come. 

She came to therapy with them. 

Maki did a lot for love, and a lot for her love for Kaito. 

But she refused to let that love come in the way of her love for another. For her hate for another, yes, but not her love, and Maki loved Tim. 

…Kokichi sighed softly, his gaze sticking on Miss Kirigiri for a moment. He really hated that kind of “respect”. No amount of deference should still your tongue from arguing what you believe. Hopefully that would be something he would be able to pass down to Miyako. 

Gently, Kokichi touched Kaito’s knee with his knuckles, hopefully urging his husband to take a breath, though he nodded with something hidden, but grand behind his eyes. “The poet in me wants to say something like that’s an example of love being more powerful than hate, though they are easily two sides of the same coin…however. I should think Maki-chan can speak for herself about her motives.”

“...although,” Kokichi said softly, that giant behind his gaze darkening, “I am reminded of something we’ve talked about in quite a few conversations. Doing something out of consideration for another is still a personal choice.” It just meant that you weren’t a narcissist. 

The whole, ‘faithful man asks the atheist what stops them from raping and killing, if not a higher power’ thing. 

Maki took a breath… before nodding. “I chose to consider Kaito when it came to Byakuya’s life. I chose to consider Kaito because I… love him. And despite my best intentions, his happiness matters to me. And as just as vengeance would have been in that moment, Kaito’s happiness meant more to me than the revenge of thousands.”

Maki refused to look at Kaito, able to imagine the soft, sentimental look that could be on his face right now and just, like, not needing that in her head right now, as she continued stiffly, “But Shuichi is right as well. I left despite Kaito. In fact, when I argued for Byakuya’s life, I in no way had any confirmation by that point that Kaito wouldn’t have already sworn to avenge his family’s station against me. I returned under the understanding that Kaito might have already sworn to kill me, and it was just a matter of playing it out… my choice to consider him in that moment was a personal one. Not a demand or an attempt at appeasement. I just… I didn’t want to hurt him more than I already had too.”

“...yeah. There. That right there.” Kaito said, frowning, “My Maki isn’t cruel. Hell, Mr. Nidai, you didn’t raise her to be cruel. Maybe she has a different idea of what mercy is then everyone else, but fuck, that’s not a mark against her, that was just part of how she was trained. But for how Maki sees mercy? She always chooses it. She’s so much fucking kinder than anyone, including her, gives her any fucking credit for.”

Kaito narrowed his eyes, fired up on this as he argued, “Maki’s a killer, and she’s a good one, and she’s proud of that, I know. Maybe no one in Dicea could understand that, but.. Nevermind, that’s beside the point. Maki’s a killer. But that’s not all Maki is. She’s one of the most reasonable, fucking compassionate people I’ve ever fucking met. Maki does her fucking best every god damn time to make the right choices, the moral choice, even when the options given to her are fucking impossible. It’s one of the things I’ve always loved most about her, how good Maki is. You know how good she is, Mr. Nidai… and Maki’s trying to be good to our son. She’s looked at this situation, she’s heard my argument for the benefits of softening him to survive in Dicea, and she agrees because our Maki will always choose the best option available for the people who need her.”

“Dicea rewards softness. People here will punish Timothy for caution, and hardness, and a challenging demeanor. Timothy’s already at a disadvantage being raised a child soldier, I see him struggle with being the only kid to defer to adults, I see him mocked and frowned at for our customs that put him ahead of all his peers back in Luminary.” Kaito said stiffly, trying to make Nekomaru understand, the older man giving him a tense look as Kaito explained, “I don’t want Timothy to struggle with the same social walls Maki, Shuichi and I struggle with constantly. The social walls that the people who work in the castle? Whose files you’ve no doubt read? They worked there because the castle would be patient for their struggle to fit back into society. Because it was safe. I don’t want Timothy stuck at the castle for the rest of his life because the rest of Dicea will be too difficult for him to interact with. I want him to thrive here. Maki wants it for him too. So that’s where our efforts are going.”

“And I will thank you to never question Maki’s ability to defend our son from me again.” Kaito growled, whole body tensing. “Like Shuichi was trying to say? How dare you suggest she wouldn’t protect Timothy from me. She just went to war for you and him and hers. Show her some god damn respect.”

Maki was a person so filled with love, it could easily scare other people. Her mercy may not be what other people understood, but it was there, and born from love and responsibility so strong that… Well. It was the kind of strength that other people looked at and said it was too strong, and thus dangerous, to exist. 

And Maki’s love for Timothy meant…

Kokichi’s gaze turned down with sadness as Kaito spoke, that grand thing retreating back into the void for the time being. 

He wasn’t wrong. 

The thing in Dicea, in Usott, was…that if you needed help, you went to the castle. Because the castle, and those who lived in it, were willing to help. Had devoted themselves to help. Had gone through interviews, not just with department heads and the whole departments, seeing if they were qualified when it came to skill, and if they would mesh appropriately with their coworkers…but with the leader of Dicea himself. And Aiichi’s interview was nothing like that. He did know what all the positions in the castle did, understood the kind of work the people he saw every day did, but he didn’t know the ins and outs. But Aiichi knew Dicea. 

(As the Listening Soul, he knew Dicea almost better than any other.)

The leader was the head of what the country was supposed to be. The direction it was headed. If not be, then truly, truly believe in and work towards the virtues they thought would be the best of their people. 

And so Aiichi interviewed for kindness. For coexistence. For patience. For a willingness to be there for others, even if he did often fail there.

Growing up in the castle exposed you to the prime virtues of what Dicea was supposed to be. 

Diceans at their best. 

But many Diceans weren’t. Maybe using their pride as a weapon, maybe just their indifference and what they thought was peaceful coexistence leading to abandoning others. Hell, it wasn’t even an obligation to be patient, really--removing yourself from a situation was seen as a proper way to deal with problems that you couldn’t fix. But…the castle was a safety net. And while not the same kind of harsh and danger Luminary was…the ‘real world’ of Dicea was much harsher than the castle. 

Kokichi loved his home…but he would never wish for it to become a cage to anyone ever again. Even a cage you chose to be in. 

Teaching Tim to be soft would allow him to navigate that real world more safely. With more chances for happiness and ease. 

A child wasn’t a parent’s second chance, but…ideally, they would pass on wisdom so a child wouldn’t make the same mistakes they did. To succeed where they had failed. 

It was a grim, shameful reality…but by the end Kokichi looked up again, his gaze firm as steel as he nodded along with Kaito’s demands for Maki’s respect. She had more than earned it.

Nekomaru was basically rippling with electricity, scowling at Kaito, who glared back at him, gritting his teeth, barring his teeth. Just daring him to fucking argue with him about this, more than ready to throw his own doubts aside if it meant defending Maki…

“Maki’s dedication and bravery, especially in the last year, are of course in no doubt.” Kyoko said, her no-nonsense tone cutting through the tension of a fight waiting to happen, giving Kaito a cool look as she said, “And Nekomaru’s concern for her decisions in her personal life are not a reflection of her capability and determination in regards to battle and change. It’s quite disrespectful to suggest otherwise, Prince Kaito.”

“Kaito’s just defending Maki’s personal decision making skills from Mr. Nidai’s accusations of weakness in the face of pressure against him using her recent conquests as examples of her abilities.” Shuichi shot back, adjusting his hat a little to hide his eyeline a little so that he could comfortably lift his head without overwhelming himself, squaring his shoulders, “And he’s had to do this, because for some unfathomable reason Nekomaru appears to be committed to the insane decision to want to shame his charge in front of her peers.”

“Shuichi, do not make me repeat myself that Nekomaru has more than earned your–”

“NAH, NAH, KYO. YOUR BOYS JUST DEFENDING MY GIRL, THAT AINT SOMETHING YOU NEED TO SPANK ANYONE OVER.” Nekomaru huffed, scratching at his stomach, giving Kaito and Shuichi somewhat disgruntled looks… before his expression softened as he looked to Maki, who was still staring down at the pond, “BUT I AIN’T LOOKING TO SHAME MY MAKI EITHER. MAKI, I’M NOT TRYING TO SHAME YOU. I’M JUST… YOU AREN’T EVER NOT GONNA WORRY ME. YOU’RE MY PRIDE AND JOY, MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT, AND IT’S KILLED ME THAT YOU’VE COMMITTED YOURSELF TO SOMEONE WHO… WELL.” Nekomaru gave Kaito a sharp look, huffing, “IS NEVER GOING TO PUT YOU FIRST. RAISING HIS KID, LIVING IN THEIR HOME, DOING ALL OF THIS THERAPY NONSENSE TO SUPPORT THIS RELATIONSHIP…YOU DESERVE MORE THAN TO BE DEVOTING YOURSELF TO A RELATIONSHIP THAT ISN’T EVEN YOURS. YOU DESERVE TO BE DEVOTED TOO.”

“...I do.” Maki said, bowning her head low to Nekomaru, “I know. You haven’t raised a charge who does not value herself, Mr. Nidai. I deserve love and devotion and to be considered first by mine. Thank you for looking after me.”

“But,” Maki straightened up, giving her mentor a calm, if tired look, “Me choosing to commit myself to this group doesn’t mean I’ve given up on getting those things for myself, someday. It’s just not now. And honestly, that’s a separate thing then what I’m doing here with them. I’m not any of their partners, but they do love me. And they make me happy to be with them. And ultimately, my decision to stay and do this? To put all this work into this? Isn’t me coming when Kaito calls. It’s a selfish choice. I do this because they make me happy. If there’s a weakness in me, it’s a weakness of wanting to take the path that makes me happy, now. Maybe choosing something else would make me more respectable, and I could earn your pride back–”

“WOAH, WOAH, WHAT?” Nekomaru said, before waving his lollipop at Dr. Mariah, “I KNOW, I KNOW, NO INTERRUPTING, BUT THIS NEEDS TO BE SAID. MAKI… YOU DON’T HAVE TO EARN MY PRIDE! YOU DID IT ALREADY! YOU DID IT AGES AGO! WHAT, YOU THINK I’M GOING BACK ON IT NOW!? I LITERALLY JUST CALLED YOU MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT, WHAT, YOU THINK I’M NOT PROUD OF MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS!? YOU’RE INCREDIBLE! YOU’RE SMART, AND DEDICATED, AND NO ONE CAN SNEAK THROUGH HALLWAYS LIKE YOU AND YOU BRACE YOUR LEGS AGAINST THREE FLOOR FALLS LIKE THEY’RE NOTHING! AND YOU CAN DO ALL THAT WHILE THROWING SIX KNIVES WITH 80% CONSISTENT ACCURACY! YOU’RE INCREDIBLE!”

Nekomaru huffed, rubbing his temples… “YOU SWEAR TO ME NOW. THAT IF YOU’RE COMMITTING YOURSELF TO STAYING HERE. AND TAKING CARE OF THESE BONEHEADS? THAT IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF THIS DUMBASS’S ‘MAYBE’, WANTING TO OBEY HIM HOPING FOR MORE.” Nekomaru insisted, gesturing to Kaito. “I’LL TRUST IT IF YOU SAY IT. BUT YOU BETTER BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF, IF YOU’RE GONNA SAY YOU’RE BEING HONEST WITH ME!”

Maki frowned, clenching her hands… before bowing her head again. “I’m staying because I love them, and they make me happy. I understand my place in their lives, and am not pursuing anything more. The day they do not make me happy? That I find something better? That I decide this isn’t good for Timothy, whose happiness and safety matters to me? I will move on. You do not have to be afraid that they will not put me first, Mr. Nidai. I will put myself first. I swear it.”

Nekomaru sighed… before nodding. “ALRIGHT THEN. FINE. WE’RE SPOILING THE KID, EH? I CAN SPOIL KIDS! I LET YOU HAVE PLENTY OF FREEDOM AND RELATIONSHIPS AS A KID, REMEMBER!? I WAS THE EASY MENTOR, DROVE KYO CRAZY, HER CHARGE WOULD WATCH YOU AND SUDDENLY GET ALL REBELLIOUS, EMULATING YOU! I’M FUN! THIS IS JUST THE EXCUSE I NEED TO GO BUCK WILD, KID SPOILING WISE! HA HA HA HA HA!!”

Maki twitched. “... thank you, Mr. Nidai, but… don’t over compensate, please–”

“HAS HE EVER GOTTEN A DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE BEFORE!? THERE’S THIS MASSAGE PARLOR I’M OBSESSED WITH!!” 

Kokichi watched the back and forth with an increasingly soft look. As much as some of the mentor’s habits aggravated him…well, there was a reason he wasn’t even more rude to them, even barring how much he knew his family loved their parents. Maki, Shuuichi, Kaito too…they loved Nekomaru and Kyouko. And there wasn’t even a question that Kyouko and Nekomaru loved them back. Even with the strange ways that love sometimes looked, or the things they had to do despite love, Kokichi could see that. 

Nekomaru was worried about Maki--it made sense, since the rest of them were too. It hadn’t been a fair thing to say, that Maki could’ve left at any time; she had so many things tying her to them, to the castle right now, and for the past year. However…if she stopped being happy? If the things that they had talked about as what made their relationships worth fighting for just weren’t worth it anymore? Maki was strong enough to leave. To take Tim and go, or…any combination of things that would suit her better than the lives they were carving out now. 

Sometimes a relationship or situation that just never made you happy was as bad as one that regularly made you hurt. Her father just…wanted to make sure she wasn’t settling for the former. 

Smiling as Maki’s choice seemed to break through, Kokichi perked for a moment, knowing that they should probably move onto the second order of business, but…sometimes it was good for brief palette cleansers. And he was genuinely curious.

“Oh! This is totally for later, since we do have a limited time here, but I heard you guys all went to Igloo over the heat wave? I would definitely like to hear how your experience was, if you wanna chat sometime!”

“INCREDIBLE! THEY HAVE THIS WOMAN THE SIZE OF A MOUNTAIN, SHE CAN SUPLEX THE BACKACHES RIGHT OUT OF YA! TIMOTHY WILL MELT IN THAT WOMAN’S POWERFUL GRIP!”

Kaito sighed, forcing his back to relax. Well, he didn’t doubt that Nekomaru wouldn’t still be a little rough with him from then on– the man had been salty ever since they graduated high school, he and Maki officially broken up but still hanging together– but hopefully this would stop him from being so rough with Maki. Kaito knew their relationship was… complicated. Their history, their child, how entwined with each other they were. Kaito and Maki had accidentally ruined plenty of each others potential relationships, a lot of people not prepared to just… compete with the ex’s, constantly hanging around.

And it wasn’t like Kaito wasn’t also worried about Maki. He couldn’t be her everything, like he could at least try to be for Shuichi and Kokichi. It wasn’t just a lack of intimacy in their relationship, Kaito knew that in itself didn’t make a partnership. But that was the thing… Nekomaru was right. Kaito would never be able to put Maki first, not really. He could try, really try, to make sure it didn’t matter, but… his partners, Kokichi and Shuichi, would come first. Because they were his partners, and Kaito believed that was what that title meant. Why partnerships mattered.

And Maki deserved more than being her loved one's second thought. 

But… even if it worried Kaito, that wasn’t something he could fix for Maki. It was something she needed to want to do for herself, and then Kaito could support her when she was ready. Anything else? Was doomed to fail.

Shuichi looked between Maki and Nekomaru, glad, genuinely, they had gotten through that. Knowing how worried Maki was about it. And feeling a little envious. Because his issues with his mentor didn’t feel like it was that easy. He wondered if he should even bring it up. He hadn’t told… anyone. Not Maki, not Kaito, no one, besides Kokichi, who had told him, about Oliver, and… Shuichi had considered never bringing it up at all. What did it matter… it wouldn’t change anything…

… actually, fuck that. Shuichi was tired of the women in his life just deciding things for him and Shuichi just letting it go because ‘what could he do’. If all he got from this was answers? Hell, if all he got from this was them knowing he knew? 

Good enough.

“Miss Kirigiri,” Shuichi said, interrupting the talk of spas, giving his mentor a cool, unimpressed look, “You’ve been here a month and some change. Are you ever planning to tell me about Miss Luna?”

To their credit, the surprise on both of their faces was very carefully controlled. Kyoko narrowing her eyes slightly before her gaze relaxed, and Oliver frowned, eyes widening slightly… before her own face calmed, tucking her hair behind her ear as she smiled softly, “What about me, Shuichi? I hope you’re not asking if we’re dating. I haven’t exactly been subtle~”

Shuichi ignored her, staring at his mentor. After a moment, he turned his nose up slightly, looking distinctly unimpressed as he said, “You’re really going to make me say it, Miss Kirigiri?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Kyoko responded, matching him look for look. “If you’re trying to accuse me of something, Shuichi, I expect you shall have to commit to being more clear.”

Kokichi smiled, remembering Sylvia, and he wondered if Amber had ended up going to one of those wrestling workshops…but he had said that all that was talk for later, on their own time. While they had the safety of Dr. Mariah’s mediation, they should make the most of it. 

Though what Shuuichi decided to bring up as his first issue with Kyouko…

Kokichi’s eyes widened a little in surprise, before he frowned softly. He trusted Shuuichi to keep his secret, there was no doubt there, but…just… Shuuichi had barely even wanted to acknowledge it, when Kokichi told him. Bringing it up now…

…well, they would get some answers, one way or another. And maybe it would get Oliver to acknowledge that she was involved with them. Even if that was true just from the fact of Kyouko being her girlfriend. 

He wished he was sitting closer to Shuuichi, to…put a hand on his back in support or something, but…instead he just sent over a gentle feeling of solidarity. Reminding Shuuichi that he had his back, for whatever he wanted out of this.

Dr. Mariah looked around the group, getting a read. Nekomaru tasted confused, as did Kaito. Maki didn’t taste confused, but that wasn’t unusual for her. Unless something specifically challenged what she knew, Maki never felt the emotion ‘confusion’ hearing new information. But, was that the case with Kokichi, Kyoko and Oliver? They didn’t taste confused, but that still wasn’t a clear emotion they were portraying either. Their emotions were all so varied that assuming they were not taken by surprise by it was outlandish.

Okay… “Shuichi, clarity is important to communication, you know this. Making them guess at your intentions, while it might feel satisfactory and empowering in the moment?” Dr. Mariah cautioned, Shuichi sighing and giving her a disappointed look as she went on, “Is ultimately just making things more difficult for yourself. I know that certain interrogation techniques would be suitable for this level of drawing out, but… this isn’t an interrogation. And, also, I somehow doubt those techniques will work on your mentor, who taught them to you.”

“Do you have to strategize about me while I’m sitting here?” Kyoko asked, looking mildly offended.

“Kind of? It’s sorta, like… a part of the process, honestly.” Kaito added in with a shrug, giving Shuichi a soft look, “Hey, uh, handsome… I don’t know what this is about either.”

“...” At that, Shuichi looked uncomfortable. His cold aloofness edging off as he gave Kaito a glance over his shoulder, shifting uncomfortably, though Kokichi’s soothings earlier had bolstered him for a while. “I know. I’m sorry, I haven’t felt okay talking about this to anyone. If all honesty, I thought very seriously about pretending I didn’t know at all, forever… but I do. And forever is too long.”

Turning back to his mentor, glancing at Oliver, before dismissing her, the woman barely his concern as he focused on the woman who raised him… “I know she’s my biological mother. I want to know why you wouldn’t tell me. I gave you time. From what I understand? I gave you my whole life… to tell me.”

Maki and Kaito both gave Shuichi bug eyed looks at that, and even Nekomaru looked startled, looking back and forth between Kyoko and Oliver… “WHAT? REALLY??”

“Knew it.” Maki whispered, frowning as Kaito kicked her from behind.

“Don’t call that, you didn’t guess shit.” Kaito grumbled at her.

“I absolutely guessed it, I just didn’t want to bring it up first.” Maki whispered back, reaching back and pinching his leg.

“No you didn’t.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“HEY! SHUICHI AND MISS KIRIGIRI ARE DISCUSSING SOMETHING IMPORTANT, YOU BOTH SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND LET THEM TALK!”

“Yes Mr. Nidai.” Maki and Kaito both said, leaning back.

“...” Kyoko peered at Shuichi, trying to see if there was a bluff to call… and while Shuichi seemed a little uncertain about the process, not his conclusion. “How did you know?”

“You’re Luminary’s greatest detective.” Shuichi said back, unfaltering. “Figure it out.”

To his extreme credit, Kokichi put on an excellent show. His eyes widening in shock and surprise along with everyone else, before his expression tempered into concern as he glanced between Kyouko and Oliver and back to Shuuichi. Seemingly having his brain whir at all the complications that information would mean, throughout Shuuichi’s life. 

Dr. Mariah would be able to tell it was all just acting, but it wasn’t like she would call him out on it now. He trusted her to put two and two together. 

Maki’s evidence, that Kokichi had considered at the time too, was enough for someone to hum and maybe look into, but looks weren’t enough. And it really hadn’t been that he had physically overheard Kyouko and Oliver talking, and…while maybe they conferred about it privately, considering the kind of people he surmised them to be, he doubted they talked about it even in the privacy of their own room. 

There…really wasn’t an answer about how Shuuichi had found out. And in other circumstances, his snub back would be called out as unhelpful and needlessly combative… Kyouko drawing her own conclusions about how he knew was the best way forward. 

Honestly Kokichi was glad she was a known skeptic. She wouldn’t even think to consider ‘demons’. 

“So…” Kokichi said, a little unsure, like he was fully trusting Shuuichi, but still a little off guard, “...it’s true? Miss Luna?”

Dr. Mariah looked at Kokichi curiously. She hadn’t tasted confusion on him… huh. Oh. Oh, of course. Hm. Fair.

Oliver, in turn, now looked… far less flighty and confident in this moment then any of them had seen her by this point. Twirling her blue hair with her long, delicate finger, she glanced around the area, nibbling on her lip, before her gaze focused on Kyoko. “...maybe I should go? Let you talk this out?”

Kyoko frowned at that… before sighing, shaking her head. “No. We always knew this conversation was coming. You’re a part of this, I’m not sending you away for us to talk about you.”

“GEEZ, REALLY? IT’S TRUE? WHY WOULDN’T YOU TELL ME?”

“It was tied up with the whole treason and rebellion thing I was hiding from you.” Kyoko told Nekomary simply. “Couldn’t admit one without the other.”

Nekomaru scoffed, “AND AFTER?”

“Habit.”

“Oh my god.” Kaito whispered to Maki, “We get it from them.”

“Can you not just talk to me about this?” Shuichi frowned, Kyoko sighing as she refocused on him, “I know you’ve known she’s my biological mother since I was young. I saw you two together, I know you’ve known each other a long time.”

“...” Kyoko hesitated, looking to Oliver. Oliver gave her an equally uncertain look. They may have known this conversation was going to happen someday, but clearly the two of them hadn’t actually discussed how this would go. “I don’t know what’s relevant or not…”

Oliver nibbled on her lip… before trying to smile at Shuichi. Not entirely selling it through her nerves as she said, “First of all, I’m sure you have questions about… why I did–”

“Maybe.” Shuichi interrupted, sparing her a glane, “Later. But your answers don’t matter as much as hers do. Not to me. You’re an afterthought.”

“Shuichi.” Kyoko said, a flash of anger running through her face, “You will control your–”

“When this summer ends, you’re leaving here, Miss Kirigiri,” Shuichi interrupted stiffly, “And we both know it’s entirely possible we’ll never see each other again. Maybe this isn’t a relationship even worth salvaging, for how distant we’ll be… but… please understand.”

Shuichi gave her a stern look, “This is your chance to salvage this. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“....” Kyoko peered back, again, looking for a bluff… before sighing. “I…” She glanced at Oliver–

“It’s okay to take a moment.” Dr. Mariah cautioned her, “To collect your thoughts. Would you like five minutes?”

Kyoko gave her a startled look. “Five minutes? That’s quite some time to just put together a thought.”

“If it will help you feel like less time wasted, come. You will help me bring up water and orange slices, and collect your thoughts as you do. Come along… I mean it.” Dr. Mariah said, flashing Kyoko a dark look, who suddenly?? Found herself on her feet?? Kyoko supposing she had just decided to get up, and, well, if she had decided to get up, she’d follow. “Five minutes, everyone. We’ll be right back.”

Shuichi watched her go, looking troubled… before glancing dryly at Oliver. 

Oliver suddenly smiled, shrugging somewhat helplessly, “I don’t know how long you’ve known, but I can see you haven’t grown attached to me since you’ve found out. And, maybe that’s for the best. If Maki is Nekomaru’s greatest accomplishment? You are…” Oliver shrugged again, smiling sadly, “My greatest act of selfishness.”

“AND, ON THAT DEPRESSING NOTE. COME ON, LET’S TAKE A WALK AND LET THE KIDS TALK BEHIND OUR BACKS AT US.” Nekomaru sighed, rolling his eyes and getting up, offering Oliver his hand and guiding her to the other side of the roof, “HONESTLY, CAN’T EVEN TRY TO PUT A GOOD SPIN ON IT, HUH?”

She said something back, the two talking on the other side of the roof. Shuichi watching them go before groaning into his hands.

It wasn’t necessarily what was relevant or not. As far as Kokichi could tell, Kyouko wasn’t the type to derail herself with monologues in the first place, so…Shuuichi just deserved the truth. Everything. It was his life, his circumstances, and if there were answers out there, he deserved to know. 

Even if the answers were just answers. Even if…Shuuichi decided that Kyouko and Oliver weren’t relationships he wanted to pursue, or maintain. Kokichi knew as well as anyone that, while difficult, long-distance relationships were possible, but…they did demand a degree of effort, and they still weren’t the same as being there in person. 

He knew how much Shuuichi valued his relationship with Kyouko. Why it had been so agonizing when he thought she was letting it go herself. But…like Maki…he could let it go, if it no longer brought him any of the benefits he had once loved and enjoyed. 

But while the onus was on her, Kyouko could have time to decide how she wanted to tell the tale. And it gave the rest of them time to prepare.

Scooting over as Nekomaru and Oliver left, Kokichi sighed softly as he rubbed Shuuichi’s back, looking over in sympathy as he groaned. “...how are you doing? I’m glad you’re going to get answers but…I wouldn’t have blamed you if you just…didn’t want to know.”

“I’m alright… I’m mostly worried there won’t be anything too know.” Shuichi sighed, leaning his head against Kokichi’s, Kaito getting off the egg to sit down behind Shuichi, resting his head against Shuichi’s back in solidarity, “Let me see if I can’t guess what they’ll say, based on everything I know about them and just… people. If anything about my files were true, Oliver got into legal trouble and had to go into hiding. And she gave me to someone she knew, ‘temporarily’,” Shuichi said, rolling his eyes, “To watch after me until the legal troubles were over. Then, a short term problem became a long term problem, and then, when the problem stopped necessarily being a problem, it became an inconvenience, and then after a long enough time, it was just… how things were.”

“What do you guys think.” Shuichi said dryly, “Any alternatives anyone wants to offer?”

“Mmmm… maybe…” Kaito thumped his against Shuichi’s back, “Maybe it wasn’t that black and white? Maybe…” Kaito closed his eyes, trying to imagine what, if anything, could delay him from running to get his kids back if he had lost them, “...maybe Oliver didn’t know Miss Kirigiri. Maybe it was a coincidence that she got Shuichi, and… the only reason Oliver knows her at all was she was trying to figure out how to safely get you back… and it turned into trust and love… and they decided it was safer to keep you in the castle…”

“Romantic.” Maki sighed, “And dumb. Being the next royal detective, especially when Shuichi was young, was always dangerous. Oliver refusing to keep him would always be a betrayal, no matter how you dress it.”

Kaito closed his eyes, “...I know. I’m sorry. I just want it to be a plan for your benefit. I know we disagree on that, but… randomness hurts. You deserve better than things just falling into place like that.”

“I know,” Shuichi shrugged, “But that’s how these things go. It’s always disappointingly, casually cruel. Mostly, I’m just giving them a chance to explain it well. That’s all this is.”

That…did kind of sound like the gist of it. There were probably details with it, but at the end of the day…Shuuichi was raised by Kyouko. Oliver was managing rebellious forces. She might’ve been able to get out without exposing herself and getting executed…but she didn’t. Kyouko was involved too. And…they never told Shuuichi any of it. 

Kokichi sighed and kissed what he could manage of Shuuichi’s cheek without shaking his fiance off. “...you said that your uncle, when everyone was arrested, said that he was going to get in contact with your godmother, right? Maybe…Kyouko was your godmother. Maybe that doesn’t actually change the story…but I think it’s a little kinder that…her picking you up was purposeful. Was duty and love still. But…it still doesn’t feel any better that she didn’t say anything. That she didn’t even introduce Oliver as a friend, if they still didn’t want to involve you in what would’ve been treason.”

There…wasn’t really an ‘upside’ to it all. No matter what new context they could give…Shuuichi had still grown up raised by Kyouko, and raised to be a royal detective. He had still been indentured, had still been subjected to conditioning, despite the times it seemed Kyouko had tried to safely lessen it where she could. He had still been led to believe that his family had abandoned him, and had lied when they said things would be okay. That they were stupid for having a kid and still wanting to fight. 

None of that would change. Shuuichi was just…asking for the full story for once.

Though things could’ve changed later, there was one thing Kokichi was unsure about. “...would she have even been able to get you, once you were taken by the guards? You said that they’d change kids names and looks once they were taken, but…even if she had somehow been able to prove it? Would anyone would’ve let her?”

“No, no, of course not.” Shuichi shook his head… before looking to Maki, giving her a curious look. “At least, I’ve never heard of anyone trying…”

Maki, the resident expert on Luminary orphanages, reached over and ran her hand through Shuichi’s bangs, “People, or, kids, when they lose their parents, as a policy are sent to the orphanage as far from their home as possible. Break all ties, start over with no painful reminders, is the most optimistic way I’ve ever heard anyone explain it. The real answer is kids are easier to control when you take them as far from possible away from everything they’ve ever known and keep them feeling entirely dependent on you. Honestly, if your uncle really was sending you somewhere specific, it’d be… incredibly difficult for him to swing. For you to end up in the capital orphanage, you’d have to have been orphaned on the outskirts of the country.”

“So he swung it somehow,” Shuichi shrugged, “It’d be difficult but not impossible. Bribe a guard somewhere? Change some paperwork.”

“Maybe. But even after that, if your parents are still alive and you’re in the orphanage? Then they don’t want you to go back to your parents, for whatever reason. And the kids…” Maki sighed, “They don’t know what’s happening, not really. They’re all encouraged to snitch on each other, immediately, when they see adults they don’t know communicating with them. The kids are told this is to protect each other, that adults would try to steal them or lure them away. A lot of kids don’t even remember what their guardians look like, after enough time, and everyone becomes a stranger… it’s difficult, when everyone around you is a watchdog. You hear about people trying. You don’t hear about people succeeding.”

“...’m sorry.” Kaito murmured.

“Thank you.” Shuichi said softly back. It wasn’t Kaito’s fault, but… yeah. He was taking it all pretty personally, right now. 

“It’s different, now. We have a lot of people ensuring it’s different.” Maki frowned… before leaning against Shuichi, saying softly, “Too late for us. But it’s done now.”

“Yeah.” Shuichi closed his eyes. “Yeah. Thank you Maki.”

That was longer than five minutes, but more likely than not Dr. Mariah and Kyoko had had a word in private, and when they came back up, Nekomaru and Oliver returned as well, everyone settling in again.

Kokichi let out a small breath, closing his eyes for a moment. That was exactly the reason they tried to place kids in orphanages as close to where they had lived as possible. If, yanno, they ended up in one at all, and weren’t immediately claimed by a family member or an indicated family friend as soon as guards or lawyers or case workers sent word out, which was usually the same day a child would come into their protection. It was harder, in more rural areas, where it was less even a village, and more serieses of farms with maybe a communal hub miles and miles triangulated in the middle…but they still tried. 

…the ‘for whatever reason’ was…a little too obvious. Why let go of a potential worker once you got your hands on them?

…but all that was changing now. And without orphanages feeding into the program, they would be more incentivised to find families for the kids in their care, if not give them back to families that came looking for them. There were…problems that would come from that, but it was still a huge, positive change. 

But like Shuuichi’s personal history, it didn’t change the lives he and Maki had lived. 

Kokichi glanced over when he heard the roof door open, and he sighed, pressing a chaste kiss to the side of Shuuichi’s head before he scooted over back to his previous spot. Okay…it was time to get some answers.

Kyoko sat down, fresh orange slices passed around– Nekomaru immediately dug in, and as serious as this was, Kaito couldn’t help nibbling on some too as he went back to his egg chair, watching his family worriedly with mouth full of orange– and water served. Kyoko, looking more put together, took a breath… before saying to Shuichi, “I’m just going to explain from the beginning, and when you have questions, you may ask. Understood?”

“...yes.” Shuichi said, daring not to use her title. He would not be pushed around in this. Kyoko narrowed her eyes at him, before letting it go. Noted. 

“Oliver and I have, first of all, known each other our entire lives.” Kyoko explained, glancing at Oliver, who gave her a small, encouraging smile, “And… our relationship hasn’t always been… smooth.” 

Oliver smiled at Kyoko, before laughing with a snicker, “Our childhood is it’s own whole story. It gets… complicated. But maybe that’s a story for another day. The important thing is, that when I got pregnant, I went to Kyoko for help. Her and our friends… I asked them to adopt the baby. I… that’s also its own story. And I’ll tell you, Shuichi, if you ever want to know. But I didn’t want to be pregnant, and I didn’t want a baby, and we had friends that did. The plan was to have them adopt you, and I’d never be a part of your life.”

“They were mutual friends.” Kyoko said, something sad in her gaze, “I was named your god mother, Shuichi. And, at the time… Oliver and I didn’t get along.”

“I made a mistake.” Oliver said grimly, “I got into trouble, and instead of taking care of it myself, I went to them for help. Asked them to hide me. Really met you for the first time, Shuichi… I shouldn’t have done it. Trouble followed me. I got your parents involved, they were just trying to help me… and it all blew up in our faces. In my face. Your home was raided, your mother was killed, your father and I arrested. He didn’t make it… and a neighbor, a friend of your fathers, realized what was happening to you and intervened. He marked you with the hat– that hat you’re wearing, in fact– paid off a guard and administrator to find you based on that hat when they changed your name–”

“...what was it?” Shuichi asked softly, before his expression did something complicated, “Nevermind. I don’t want to know.”

It was Kyoko who kept going, Oliver losing steam at the interruption, “Frederick reached out to me, and together we rigged it to get you brought to the capital. I took you on as a charge. And for a few years, that’s just how it was. The worse had happened, your father died while in prison, and Oliver…”

Kyoko gave Oliver a look that was… also complicated. Sad, but… almost not regretful. As she said, “Oliver was dead to me. She was always the problem child, and I knew it was just a matter of time before those problems caught up to her. I let her rot in prison. I would have been content to leave her there forever… but Oliver managed to make some connections on the outside, and she was released by counsel, ‘forgiven and reformed’. And she…”

At this, Kyoko dimmed down, looking a little regretful by for this… and Oliver said to Shuichi, “She made the right choice. I wasn’t in a good place, mentally. I wouldn’t have been a good mother. I wanted you for all the wrong reasons. Kyoko was correct to refuse me.”

Shuichi’s eyes widened at this slightly. “...you tried to come back for me?”

Oliver sighed, “I tried to talk Kyoko into letting me run away with you. I had just gotten out of prison, I was angry and vengeful. I didn’t want to raise you, I just didn’t want you to be indentured. You not being a part of the system was more important to me than you being safe. My plan if I got you was to hide you away with more accomplices, not even friends, really, just people I knew… Kyoko refused me. At one point even tried to have me killed.”

“IF I HAD THOUGHT SHE WAS REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT IT, I’D HAVE TRIED HARDER.” Nekomaru said defensibly, “I KNEW KYO DIDN’T MEAN IT, SO I JUST TRIED TO SCARE HER OFF.”

“And aren’t I lucky for that~ but yeah. I grew fixated on taking down the government. Of taking back ‘my’ son, regardless if it was safe. I became a mover and shaker in the capital, started building pubs, creating a crime network, and all the time plotting to get you back… And Kyoko spent years essentially fighting me off… and I don’t know. While we were arguing over it? Over and over, things getting more heated between us? At some point I just found myself admiring her.” Oliver said, looking to Kyoko, a small smile on her face, “She was a good friend, a good mother, and really hard to trick or kill. And, the more Kyoko faught me…”

Kyoko sighed, exasperated by the heavy pause, “I won’t compliment you, you were acting ridiculous. It was astounding you didn’t sabotage yourself a thousand times. But I learned a great deal about the rebellions through her and… I started to understand. She was still idiotic how she prusued it–”

“Love you too, Kyoko.”

“--but I could understand why she did. And fighting with her over you eventually became dating… and dating became aiding and abetting… it was dangerous. And stupid. And I lived in constant dread that I would end up like our friends, caught up in Olivers schemes, about to leave you without a charge or a parent, Shuichi… I was deeply ashamed of my actions. History repeating itself, only this time I was the idiot.”

“None of this explains why you didn’t tell me.” Shuichi interrupted.

“The version of me trying to kill Oliver and protect you from her madness gradually became the version of me dating her and trying to protect you from our madness.” Kyoko explained, looking regretful at that, “You may have seen us kiss when you were a child, I know, but the truth is we didn’t really start ‘dating’ until you were a teenager. And by that point, you were living your own life, struggling with your own challenges, and I had already kept this from you for so long… and by the time I realized how dramatically the situation had changed, the danger stopped being Oliver, but started being me.”

“And that’s my explanation for hiding it from you for most of your life, but if you want the explanation for this last year, these last few months…”

Kyoko looked to Oliver.

“My reasons for trying to get you back were selfish.” Oliver explained, sounding full of regret as she spoke softly to Shuichi, “And then, my reasons for no longer fighting to get you back were selfish. And then, when I came here with Kyoko, my desire to see you was selfish… how many selfish decisions can I make, before it becomes obvious that I’ve lost my chances to fix this?” Oliver asked, fussing with her hair some more, “Kyoko had been right to keep you from me. I didn’t have your best interest at heart. She and Adaya, your mother who adopted you when you were first born… they were both your mothers more than I ever was. And every time I tried to input myself in your life, I made things worse… I asked Kyoko to keep it from you when we got here. Which was, again, selfish, because I arrived planning to tell you. But when I saw you? With your own daughter, seeing how Kyoko looked at her, at you, and knowing I’d never be able to match her love for you…”

“It felt selfish to tell you.” Oliver said, “And I wanted to stop being selfish with you.”

Kokichi nibbled at his orange segments, knowing that it would be a good idea to keep his energy up through this session, but as Kyouko and Oliver began to tell the story, he watched and listened with rapt attention. And…

The original plan was…reasonable. Something that happened normally in Dicea, too. There was a reason NDAs were a thing even for people giving birth that weren’t dealing with the legal system. And…had it gone originally to plan, Kokichi could imagine Shuuichi having a happy life with it, even if, now, it would be devastating to have never met his fiance. 

While it could be reasonable to rely on friends if you were in trouble…it was a needlessly dangerous move to involve people who were raising a child. A mistake that…while maybe wasn’t easily forgivable, if at all…still was an understandable one. But…one they hadn’t left totally alone. One they had tried to salvage as much as they could.

And then…the complex relationship between Kyouko and Oliver… It was stupid. And dangerous. And needlessly complicated, even for what they were trying to navigate…

But shit, Kokichi had been there. And while he could be disappointed in them for never telling Shuuichi…he couldn’t blame them for most everything else. Sometimes…that’s just what life was like. 

But at every step, even for selfish reasons…they had both been thinking of Shuuichi. Keeping him at the forefront of their motivations, even as other ones came to be. It sure hadn’t been the best for him, or to save him pain, but…that was just people fucking up. Not being uncaring, or spiting him. 

There was…a complicated look on Kokichi face, as Oliver finished up. “...information can be damning. It can ruin someone’s life and…sometimes things really would be better off without it. But…hell, Shuu-chan’s told me enough stories about you, Miss Kirigiri, to know that you’re firmly against the camp of living in a kind fantasy.”

“...but, shit, there isn’t really a point to pantomime some moral highground here,” Kokichi tiredly shrugged. “I can believe that choosing to view keeping it from Shuu-chan as selfishness is just fear, but…people choose what they choose. And it’s come out now.”

A short sigh, before Kokichi turned to Shuuichi, seeing how he was processing all of that.

Shuichi was staring at nothing in particular, processing being the key word. Frederick, huh? 

Shuichi looked up to Kyoko, asking, “What happened to my uncle? Or, the neighbor that claimed to be my uncle?”

Kyoko looked briefly confused, before her expression softened, “I lost touch with him a long time ago. He made certain you were safely with me, he risked quite a bit to help me secure you. But once that was done, and your father eventually perished, he had to move on with his life. Raising his own children.”

Shuichi nodded at that, quietly taking off his hat and looking down at it. Running his thumb along the frayed edges, “...so when he told me to put this on, he meant for the guards and the administrators to find me through it. For you to find me through it.”

“Yes.” Kyoko said, she and Shuichi having never discussed this, but her still knowing her charge well enough to say softly, “I’m… sorry if the way he worded it made you believe there was more to it. He really was trying to help you. That was the point of it.”

“No, no, it did help me. It did exactly what he intended.” Shuichi realized, looking down at it. A lifetime of imagining someone was looking for him. Coming to get him. 

He looked up to Oliver. He supposed he… hadn’t been wrong…

Maki’s gaze hardened, and she grabbed Shuichi’s wrist. She offered no explanation to anyone, pulling Shuichi away, to the other side of the roof, down the stair case. Kaito stood up, bowing to the mentors as he said, “Please excuse us.” before chasing after them.

When he got to the stairwell, Shuichi was sobbing into Maki’s arms. Clutching the hat to his chest as he wept, entirely undone. Just wailing against her.

…the hat had done its purpose before Shuuichi had really even begun to wonder about it. It had showed him to be who he was, so someone that would love and protect him could pick him up. Shuuichi said he only spent a few months in the orphanage. 

Even those few months back, when Shuuichi had told him the story, accepting that it was just a hat…it wasn’t just a hat. There was a reason more than habit, even if that was the only surface thought, that Shuuichi still wore it even now. 

Letting out a breath, Kokichi gave a nod to the mentors as Kaito bowed, before following his family, able to feel Shuuichi before he even got there. They didn’t all group together in a big hug around Shuuichi--there wasn’t room in the stairwell for that--but…they were there. 

Maki didn’t say anything, just held Shuichi as he crumbled against her. Her expression hard, bracing him as he sobbed against her. Kaito, even with the small space, didn’t hesitate to get as close as he could, putting his arm around Shuichi and leaning down, practically bent from his step up and height, whispering into his ear.

“You were loved. You were loved endlessly. My Shuichi was adored, and protected, and loved. Just like he should be.” Kaito said softly into his ear, holding him and Maki both, resting his head against Shuichi’s temple as he whispered, “You deserved more. You deserve everything. But I’m so relieved that the world treated you with even the third of the love you deserved. And we love you now. I love you, handsome…”

Shuichi gasped against Maki, nodding his head every now again, clearly still just overwhelmed. He didn’t know why he was so sad. He wasn’t even sure if it was sadness. It was just the sheer weight of it all. His life recontextualized. It wasn’t even bad news. It wasn’t. It hadn’t been pointless. He hadn’t been abandoned. He hadn’t been abandoned.

Realizing after a moment that they maybe needed more than a moment, Kaito looked over to Kokichi, giving him a sheepish look, “We’ve got Shuichi. Would you go let them know we’ll be back up in a minute, Kokichi? I don’t want them to come looking for us.”

Stuck behind Kaito as he was, Kokichi couldn’t really reach Shuuichi, and…the last thing he needed right now was to be even more overwhelmed. So Kokichi had just echoed his love after Kaito, still quiet in the stairwell, feeling the complex, intense emotions coming from his fiance in droves. 

Not something that would fit into a five-minute break. 

Taking a breath, Kokichi gave Kaito a nod. “I tell ‘em. Do my best to keep ‘em from getting impatient too. Take all the time you need. I love you.” Kokichi glanced sadly to Shuuichi. “I love you guys.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a nod, holding Shuichi as their fiance headed back upstairs… and as the door closed behind him, putting them back in the dark, Kaito was startled to feel Shuichi start to shake in a different way. “...Shuichi?”

The giggling got louder, Shuichi keening into Maki’s shoulder, “Was that his dick sucking accent??”

“His what?” Maki asked dryly.

“I told you he gets an accent sometimes!!”

Shuichi laughed and sobbed into Maki’s shoulder. The three starting to giggle to each other in the dark.

Returning to the roof, Kokichi gave Dr. Mariah and the mentors a short nod with a flat smile. “They’re gonna take a moment. We’d thank you for your patience.”

Pausing briefly, Kokichi shifted his weight slightly. “...I realize we don’t have much history, nor any ease of familiarity…but I would be willing to speak on more personal matters you’d have with me, as Miss Kirigiri and I did after you all first got here.” He gave Dr. Mariah a small smile. “You’re not exactly my personal therapist, so I don’t think there would be much productive use in us talking without my partners and Maki-chan.”

“I really cannot express to you how fascinating you all are, together or individually, from a career therapist perspective.” Dr. Mariah said, not worrying as she, briefly, tasted the the wafting scent of bubblegum from the staircase when Kokichi had opened the door. They’d be okay. “I could spend my career just studying you four, and never run out of fascinating things to explore… but. You four aren’t a research project, you’re my relationship clients. So…” Dr. Mariah sighed somewhat dramatically, clearly regretting saying, “So, no. It wouldn’t be helpful to you all for me to pick your brain individually… fascinating. But not useful.”

“YOU PUT OUT SOME REALLY WEIRD, INTENSE VIBES, YOU KNOW THAT DOC?” Nekomaru chuckled, giving the child-like woman an interested grin. He was a sucker for a dramatic, extra personality like that… it was just a shame what she looked like. He knew she wasn’t a child, but he couldn’t quite get his brain around it, her appearance screaming ‘twelve’ to him no matter how he looked at her. If she looked a little more her age– and considering she was a doctor, he assumed she was close to his age– he’d probably ask her if she was doing anything tonight.

Alas. Ah well. 

“I’m aware. It makes life more interesting.” Dr. Mariah said truthfully, though she quieted as she saw Kyoko and Oliver looking to each other, something wordless being exchanged between them… before Oliver sighed, standing up and strolling over to Kyoko’s seat. Kyoko gave Oliver a dry look, but begrudgingly just allowed the other woman to sit herself on her lap, throwing her arms around Kyoko’s arms and resting her head on her shoulder, nuzzling into her.

“...I’m sorry I made it tough again.” Oliver said softly into her neck. 

“I cannot turn the winds of a storm.” Kyoko whispered back, Oliver snorting at that, an in joke between them as Kyoko continued softly, “So how could I possibly hope to change you?”

“WELL, PRINCE KOKICHI. IT SEEMS YOU’VE COME BACK TO THE PITS VOLUNTARILY! HA HA HA HA HA!” Nekomaru said, focusing on Kokichi next, considering his offer. What did he want to ask Prince Kokichi… “YOU’VE TAMED OUR CHARGES PRETTY THOROUGHLY, IT SEEMS. I’M CURIOUS, WAS IT SMOOTH SAILING FROM THE BEGINNING, OR DID YA HAVE TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN?”

“Shuichi doesn’t need to be tamed, Neko.” Kyoko sighed, gently running her fingers up and down Olivers’ arms, Oliver perfectly content to snuggle in, “And I’d thank you to not make any jokes at his expense right now, considering the current circumstance.” 

“NAH NAH NAH… MOSTLY MEANT PRINCE KAITO IF I’M TOTALLY HONEST.” Nekomaru snickered, thumbing his nose, “THE WILD PRINCE OUT HERE ACTING LIKE A SKITTISH NANNY. IT’S A HUGE CHANGE! AND YOUR BOYS GONNA BE FINE. PRETTY WILD STORY YOU JUST THREW AT HIM, BUT HELL, THATS A KID USED TO SOME WILD STORIES. HE CAN HANDLE THIS.”

Despite everything…Kokichi was glad, just as people, that Kyouko and Oliver had found love for and in each other. And it was cute, seeing them affectionate, even if some of that was harder now. 

But considering his own relationships, Kokichi knew that ‘hard’ wasn’t really something he could judge on. 

He wasn’t entirely sure how to answer Nekomaru’s question at first, but as he elaborated--and…yeah. Shuuichi would be alright, but it was a lot right now--Kokichi definitely had…at least the start of an answer. 

“In all honesty, I had no idea about Kai-chan’s reputation in Luminary when we met, and even for…months afterward,” Kokichi started with a small shrug. “The events surrounding our wedding were hectic and intense and for months we never really got a break--and all the while, we were two very different strangers with different ideas about the world trying to hold onto what we had in traumatic situations. Neither of us were able to see the other ‘at peace’ for a very long time…”

“And then considering when we had our first moments of peace…we were still married, and Kai-chan had a kid, and we found out we had another one coming, and were navigating our relationship with Shuuichi too…” Among other things. 

Kokichi sighed. “Neither--and none--of us were the people we were before our wedding. Before Kai-chan, Shuu-chan, and Maki-chan left Luminary. If Kai-chan’s changed…well. Yeah. His world changed. It would be even more strange if he was exactly the same after everything.”

“I won’t say I had no part in it…” Kokichi paused with another sigh. “I’m a high maintenance partner--regardless of your point of view on it, my health does bring complications to the people around me. My perspective on the world is almost laughably stereotypically Dicean, and that creates conflict with my three, and four including Tim, Luminary-born family members, from everything to their personal specific neuroses to beliefs so culturally ingrained we hardly considered them things worth bringing up at all for how simple they seemed. And I have my own personal problems which have brought conflict, though even as extended family, I have no obligation to bring up with all of you.”

“The world’s changed us, our circumstances have changed us, and we’ve changed each other. It’s…just what’s happened.”

Nekomaru nodded along with this… before grinning wide. Leaning in and leering down at Kokichi as he said, “YEAH? THAT WAS IT, JUST TIME AND CULTURE? COME ON, PRINCE KOKICHI, WE’RE PEOPLE WHO’D GET IT. A MOMOTA FROM LUMINARY, WILD AND IMPULSIVE, RECKLESS. WE HEARD THE RUMORS ABOUT THE EARLY DAYS HERE: A BROKEN ARM, A CONCUSSION… WE’D GET IT! SOMETIMES IN ORDER TO HELP SOMEONE YOU GOTTA PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE A LITTLE, BREAK ‘EM DOWN TO BUILD THEM BACK UP BETTER. YOU CAN BE HONEST WITH US, WE’LL RESPECT IT.”

Kokichi sighed a bit, but his gaze back at Nekomaru was far from defeated. “And will you still respect it as my honesty when it isn’t what you want to hear?”

He let that sit for a moment before glancing to all the mentors, and then back to Nekomaru. “I’m aware of the rumors. Quite personally, since Byakuya sought it reasonable to send me a personal letter outlining that if I tried to lay a hand on my husband again, he would see it as a necessity to break the peace treaty our people had worked so hard for, and restart the war.”

“However, if anyone cared as much to actually look into what happened, rather than just enjoying the gossip, they’d know that Kai-chan got hurt in that incident, which was caused in the first place because of that dillweed Tengan trying to kill Maki-chan and Shuu-chan in one fell swoop as one last try to hurt Kai-chan, and Kai-chan, as soon as he could convince himself to break the social rules of Luminous hierarchy to leave me--as I had been poisoned by Chisa on our wedding night--to follow after Maki-chan and Shuu-chan to try and save them.”

Kokichi had been changed by his family just as much as they had been changed by him, and right then, the look in his eyes was downright Shuuichi-brand icy. “Initially, we had been led to believe that Tengan sent Maki-chan to kill the man that raised me, who was still on the frontlines at the time, if Kai-chan wasn’t overtly abusing me. And so I sent a personal friend of mine in the guardforce after her and Shuu-chan, who thought he could stop Maki-chan on his own. Kai-chan followed after, and in his desperate worry to save the most important people in his life, traveled recklessly, killing the horse he had taken, and giving himself the broken arm and concussion.”

Leveling his dry stare at Nekomaru, Kokichi finished, “So that is why he returned to the castle with a guard. Can really see why that story never took off in Luminary, huh.”

Nekomaru snickered, looking exceptionally pleased with Kokichi’s aggressive come back, a mildly impressed look on his face… before glancing meaningfully at Kyoko. “WELL?”

“It matches the stories we got from the servants.” Oliver sang-songed out, swinging her legs playfully as she smirked and Nekomaru, “And that level of indignant is usually pretty sincere.”

“I believe him.” Kyoko said, sighing and looking over at the stairwell, hoping Shuichi would return soon. She wanted to go looking for him… but she didn’t want to shame her charge by watching him weep. Better to give him time to compose himself. “And those were the main injuries of concern. If there’s abuse, we can likely rule out physical.”

“HA HA HA HA HA! GOOD! Good.” Nekomaru said, grinning at Kokichi, all teeth, “Prince Kaito is a good kid, all said and done. Guy probably could use a good knock against the head, but breaking his bones? Shit like that would come with consequences. Just so we’re clear.”

Oliver giggled, swinging her legs some more as she said, “Yeah, yeah, Neko, you’re big and bad, we all know~ though, phew… no wonder Head Secretary Tengan ran. Could you imagine if he had come back to the castle after trying all of that?”

“I can.” Kyoko said dryly. “Frequently.”

He could guess that if they were genuinely worried about it, he wouldn’t have found out until it was proverbially knocking on his doorstep. But…it was nice just…getting to lay it all out on someone. Taking a little bit of his frustration of people continually questioning their relationship out on someone. Probably not healthy, but…they didn’t seem bothered. 

Maybe Dr. Mariah would call him out for it later. And maybe even more for the next thing.

Because…it was different. These were likely a lot of colleagues and friends the mentors might’ve had. But…there was no way to tell them what actually happened. 

Kokichi deflated, though just a little, seeming to roll something around in his head before he looked warily to the mentors. “I’d understand if you just can’t tell me for security reasons, one way or another, but…you wouldn’t happen to know if Luminary’s investigations into the peace party have found anything more? We can’t officially conduct investigations into other countries so…we only know that they left Dicea and…well. That…fire remains, that they found months back…”

“The official word is they are MIA,” Kyoko said, her expression stony as Nekomaru looked troubled at that, losing his jovial body language as a weight came over his shoulder, “And that, of course, Danganronpa will inform us readily, the second more information is found. But the caravans crossed the border and just ‘poof’. No one’s seen them since. Which Danganronpa officials are diligently looking into.”

“Uh huh.” Oliver huffed, rolling her eyes, “Course. Cause seventy people can just disappear as soon as they hit the border, especially right after burning thirty… who knows who paid who, but someone paid someone to disappear the Head Secretary. I just can’t guess if it was for his benefit, or to bury him.”

“ANY JUSTICE IN THE WORLD? THE OLD CRAZY BASTARDS ROTTING IN SOME DUNGEON SOMEWHERE.” Nekomaru said… before scoffing. Rubbing at his cheek as he said, “BUT, DAMN…THEY HAD KIDS WITH THEM. YOU DON’T NEED TO TAKE OUT THAT MANY PEOPLE JUST TO GET ONE MAN. SLOPPY. WASTEFUL…AND IF IT WASN’T A HIT. WELL, MAYBE THOSE POOR BASTARDS IN THE BONFIRE WERE THE ONLY CASUALTIES.”

Dr. Mariah was quietly observing them. In truth, she didn’t think Kokichi had handled himself poorly. Nekomaru had clearly been baiting him, hoping to use Luminary’s reputation as a way to suggest they’d be okay with him admitting to abusing his husband. It was a simple plot, and had likely just been Nekomaru wanting to confirm something they had all already basically believed. Kokichi had very likely recognized the bait himself, and while it maybe wasn’t ‘gentle’ communication, his response was communication the mentors recognized. And recognizable communication was half the battle.

But, a topic like this? It wasn’t that long ago that Kokichi in particular was vulnerable to discussions like this. She was keeping a careful eye out, the mentors having no way of knowing they needed– or, more that it was typical– for them to watch their wording and topics around the Dicean prince. In a way, it was a small experiment. She’d intervene if it became too much though.

Kokichi huffed a little, enough to show what he thought about Danganronpa looking into the disappearances. Even knowing what had actually--or actually-likely--happened, it was still disgustingly laughable. 

It hadn’t been an outside force, and Tengan had been served ‘justice’, and the kids were alright…

But the situation was still a pure tragedy. 

“It might sound like empty words, or an affront to the different ways our cultures deal with death, but… I wish there was something we could’ve done. There’s no way to tell the future, and trying to hold back even parts of the party would’ve just…made things even worse, on top of Chisa’s banishment. But still…I wish we could’ve done something.”

“My family’s never really mentioned if any of you put any stock in the trials, but…I do hope, in whatever form it is, or lack of one, that there’s peace.”

“IF THEY’RE DEAD? THEN YEAH, THERE’S PEACE. EITHER WAY YOU LOOK AT IT. BUT IF THAT’S YOUR WAY OF ASKING IF WE PUT MUCH STOCK IN YOUR HUSBANDS RELIGION, THEN YEAH, I DO. THERE’S LOTS OF CRAZY SHIT IN THE WORLD. DEMONS, MAGIC–”

Kyoko sighed, “Neko, not now.”

“--THAT’S ALL I’M SAYING ABOUT IT! JUST CAUSE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, KYOKO, DOESN’T MEAN I HAVEN’T! DAMN MAGIC ALL OVER THE PLACE! ALL THAT NONSENSE EXISTS? WHY NOT THE TRIALS? NOT BELIEVING IN THEM IS JUSt BEING CONTRARY FOR ITS OWN SAKE, BY THAT POINT.”

“Thinking about it at all is contrary. There’s no point. What will happen will happen. Focus on this life, not the next.” Kyoko said simply, looking startled as Oliver whispered something in her ear… before sighing, “Well, yes, of course we still will, if you desire. But that’s more tradition than anything…”

“You’re so sweet to me~” Oliver laughed, kissing Kyoko on the cheek, who flushed, looking uncomfortable with the affection, which just made Oliver laugh more. She turned to Kokichi, smiling softly as she said, “And don’t lose sleep over it, Prince Kokichi. Everyone knows trying to keep the party here would have been political suicide, we all get why you sent the party back. Or tried too, anyway. What were you going to do, keep them and risk a war the day after the treaty was signed?”

“It was admittedly very admirable, that you did not fulfill the vengeance you were quite rightfully owed by that point.” Kyoko said, her admiration sincere, this being largely Luminary’s– or at least the Luminary castle inhabitants– interpretation of events as she gave Kokichi a respectful nod, “Sacrificing your vengeance to preserve the peace treaty was… extremely noble of you. It sent quite a message back to Luminary, where your priorities were. While it worried me as Shuichi’s mentor, considering his place in that bargain… I would be extremely foolish to not recognize how difficult that decision must have been for you personally, as one of the wronged parties. And you didn’t know Shuichi, Maki or Kaito that well yet… it was an understandable choice. I do not fault you for it.”

Downstairs, there three Luminaries were pulling themselves back together. Having calmed down and destressed, about to head back up.

“I didn’t mean for it to be a roundabout question--I’ve been trying to break that habit,” Kokichi gave a little, amused nod to Dr. Mariah, “But…yeah. Maki-chan did mention that you believed in the supernatural, and I think you alluded to it when we all went to that cafe together.”

He smiled softly at Kyouko and Oliver’s cute moment--he could hazard a guess Oliver was asking about a binding ceremony, but…

Kokichi’s face twisted regretfully. He could just say nothing, take the compliment…but that was not the kind of person he was. 

“At the risk of painting myself as a far worse person in your eyes than what the rumor is in Luminary…that’s not quite what happened.”

Kokichi frowned, but his back did not bend. As horrible as disrespectful as it might seem to the mentors…it wasn’t something he was ashamed of. Kokichi believed in his own ideals. “The fact of the treaty was in my mind, but it was not the defining factor in my decision to enact “vengeance” on Chisa. The idea of personal, physical vengeance in Dicea is…abhorrent, to many. And unprotected by law.”

“My own sense of justice was fulfilled by her court sentence of banishment, if a little dissatisfying, since her status as a foreign citizen would mean she would be free to continue to hurt others in other countries. But in a purely personal sense…she would no longer be a part of my life, and that’s what I wanted.”

“If I had gone after her to enact an act of violence, I would be prosecuted under a charge of premeditated assault, if not murder. Maybe lowered to a crime of passion, if my lawyer managed to convince the court. The same would be true for Kai-chan, if he did it in my name, though his sentence would likely be worse, since he would consider the act justice.”

“Put short…consequence in Dicea is public, much to my family’s horror,” Kokichi said bluntly, his gaze almost flinchingly even for saying something so possibly unnerving to the mentors. “And personal vengeance is punishable by law, and considered a grave act of social disruption by the masses.”

“...HUH.” Nekomaru said, not looking… entirely convinced. Not that he thought the prince was lying to him, but… well, he had to be misinterpreting what the prince was saying. Otherwise that was the most backwards thing he had ever heard.

Oliver also seemed to be searching for the lie or interpretation in Kokichi’s face, though her expression was a little more openly disturbed. Kyoko, at least, seemed mostly unaffected, just humming to herself a bit. “I see. Well, that might explain how people act around here a bit. It’d also explain Kaito and Maki’s fear of raising Timothy an assassin.”

“What does ‘public’ punishment actually mean? What could that possibly equal too?” Oliver asked, trying to imagine it and not quite managing, though their questions were disrupted as the door to the stairs opened. 

Composed now, his face only slightly a mess, his hat rolled up and tucked into his blazer pocket, Shuichi came back, trailed by Kaito and Maki, who joined his bow out of solidarity as he bowed low to the mentors. “I apologize. That was unbecoming. I did not mean to lose my composure.”

“It’s alright. It was quite a bit of information.” Kyoko said softly, while Oliver had quickly scrambled out of her lap, standing respectfully as Shuichi returned, the mentors nodding back. “I can imagine you have questions.”

“Actually… I’m not sure if I do.” Shuichi admitted, he and Maki returning to their spots by Kokichi, Kaito going to pour some more water for everyone, refilling everyone’s cups, just wanting to feel useful while Oliver looked mildly delighted to be served by him. “We were talking about it downstairs and… while yes, this is a lot. And I suppose maybe I do have questions of certain details of your past, such as information about my… parents, adopted parents. I don’t remember much about them, but I feel like I should at least try to learn about them now, now that I know their circumstances were less in their control. They did raise me till I was six…”

“Of course.” Kyoko said softly, “And I will speak of them at length, when you’re ready to hear it. But know that they loved you. Adaya and Regel were devoted parents, and good people. Too good, really. I’ve always wished to tell you more about them.”

“Right. Thank you, Miss Kirigiri… and I suppose I may wish to know the circumstances of my biological father, though I expect that’s not a happy story…”

Oliver just sighed at that, shifting uncomfortably as she went to go sit back in her seat, “...if you wish to know, I’ll tell you. Like Kyoko said, when you’re ready to hear about it. But I have to say, he’s not a story worth telling. He possessed sperm. That’s all that can be attributed to him.”

“I understand.” Shuichi said softly, “... once again, Miss Kirigiri, I’ve found that once I know the whole story, I just can’t bring myself to hold it against you. Your life sounds like a cheap-copper story detective novel, or perhaps even a crime drama, and it sounds utterly ridiculous and melodramatic, if I may be so bold–”

“You may.” Kyoko said with a small smile, “It was.”

“--But as someone living through my own cheap, ridiculous copper-novela? I understand, how out of control life can get. How even with the best intentions, sometimes things just become… really, over the top stupid.” Shuichi shrugged, smiling back, “We do our best through it. And… it does sound like that’s what you did, ma’am. You did your best iMiss Kirigiri… though you, Miss Luna, sort of seem like a train wreck, but,” Shuichi rolled his eyes, “Well, so are my partners. Who am I to judge.”

“He is judging though.” Maki said simply.

“We’re judging with him.” Kaito agreed.

“Try not to make any more ‘selfish’ mistakes with him, or we’ll need to sit down and have a conversation that doesn’t involve Doctor Mariah.” Maki said darkly, “A thorough one.”

“YEAH, SEE, IF PRINCE KOKICHI IS CORRECT, THEN THEY’RE FULL OF SHIT, RIGHT?” Nekomaru asked, “THEY CAN’T SPAR SHIT? I MEAN, BANISHMENT ISN’T MUCH TO US, BUT THEY HAVE A LOT TO LOSE, RIGHT? OUR ADVANTAGE?”

Maki and Kaito both blinked back at him, startled out of their threat… before Kaito whispered to Kokichi, “‘Kichi. Did you tell on us??”

Kokichi could actually provide a pretty clear example of what a public punishment looked like. Kaito said he’d sent the story of his case against Cedar to Luminary, and the story would’ve gotten there before the mentors left. Even if it wasn’t publicly publicly dispersed, just being intelligence-focused people at the castle, Kyouko and Nekomaru should’ve heard about it. 

Then explain that it had been in every paper in Dicea, and, well, there was the example. 

But before he could open his mouth, his family returned, and Kokichi stepped closer to them, leaving Kaito’s seat open for him again…or for Shuuichi, after having to step away, though he might prefer to be closer to Maki.

…he was looking forward to hearing about Shuuichi’s adoptive parents, whether directly or through Shuuichi later. Or maybe not, if Shuuichi just wanted it for himself. And…Kyouko was Shuuichi’s mom, having her own wild, crazy story filled with a tragedy of errors. And while Kokichi was in agreement that he didn’t want people making more mistakes with his fiance…

Kokichi gave Kaito a dry look and crossed his arms, maybe…maybe being a little mean. “You need better threats than just physical harm--ones that won’t make me endlessly worry about you getting arrested again. If you can’t think of anything good, then just promise to sic your ‘ruthlessly Dicean’ husband on people, with his horrifying, backwards ways.”

“...and by the way,” Kokichi blinked slowly at Nekomaru, “Banishment was what we could manage at the time for Chisa, since we had no establishing procedure for how to try foreign citizens. And…I’ll have to tell you, for serious cases where both sides are trying to vouch for themselves? I’ve overseen cases like those that are in proceedings for five months. Pretty horrible way to spend the rest of your hard earned vacation, wouldn’t it be.”

Kaito winced, nodding quickly and leaning back, an embarrassed burn in his ears and neck. Though, his Luminaries watched curiously as Kokichi turned that anger on Nekomaru, who heard him out before chuckling.

“YOU MAKE A COMPELLING CASE, YOUR GRACE. PRINCE KAITO! WHY CAN’T YOU DO THAT? LEARN SOMETHING FROM HIM! HA HA HA HA HA!” Nekomaru laughed through Kaito’s murmur of ‘yeah, I will’ before focusing on Maki with a serious expression, “YOU SURE YOU WANT TO LIVE HERE?”

Maki sighed, “I like their gardens. Winters miserable, but spring and fall are nice. And Timothy’s made friends here.”

“FINE. YOUR LOSS, BUT FINE. WELL? WHAT ELSE? I CAN SEE WHY YOU ALL DO THESE LITTLE LOOSE-GOOSEY CONDITIONING SESSIONS, WE’RE SPEEDING THROUGH THESE ISSUES! HIT ME, WHAT’S NEXT!?”

“Considering the circumstances, I can push the session. But, that’s only if my clients do have more they want my guidance in discussing with you all. Kokichi, Kaito? Maki, Shuichi?” Dr. Mariah said, looking to the four, “We’re coming up to our time limit. I know we didn’t get to discuss what you had wanted, and I had intended to start homework from this session on again, but… well, special circumstances. Is there anything else you want to take this opportunity to discuss?”

It was very strange, for those things to be taken as threats rather than just…well duh. Of course. And while he likely would do his best to minimize the public presences of everything, if something illegal did happen, knowing that it would bring no peace to his family…well, he could keep the bluff for a little bit, anyway. It wasn’t like there was much in his track record to convince the mentors otherwise. 

Kokichi and Dicean mentality might look horrific to Luminaries…but Kokichi was starting to think he was okay with that. As long as it didn’t start another war? They could all learn at their own paces, what things in either country looked like. 

Looking to his family as Dr. Mariah asked about extending their time… Shuuichi seemed exhausted, and there was no way Kokichi wanted to ask him if he wanted to dig into anything else. Maki had worked out what was most pressing and “dangerous” with her mentor, and…it had opened up the floor for them to have other conversations with more understanding. Kaito…he’d gotten a little through Nekomaru, but…

Kokichi gave his husband a long look before leaning against his arm briefly. “...I think we’re more chatting about whatever, on my end. Hun, can we stop at one of those fruit vendors on the way home? Or get drinks or something?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah! Sure, either one. The oranges made me remember how much I like fruit. Could be nice to get some different ones fresh.” Kaito was quick to agree, allowing himself to relax as Kokichi leaned against him. “Like a watermelon? Haven’t had one of those in ages.”

“I’m exhausted. I either need a nap or a coffee.” Shuichi sighed, rubbing his face, Maki nodding next to him. “I think I can speak for all of us when I say, Mr. Nidai, Miss Kirigiri, Miss Luna, that we appreciate you com–”

“Nope. You can’t speak for all of us on that. In fact, if we’re dismissing everyone, Kokichi, you and yours are free to go. I’ll see you next session. You three?” Dr. Mariah said, focusing on the mentors, “Stormed into my rooftop, during one of my sessions, and took up two hours of my very billable time. So we’re all going to have a conversation about that. And I suspect my koi pond will be much cleaner by the end of that conversation.”

“WHAT? YOU CAN’T MAKE US CLEAN THAT THING, DOC.” Nekomaru said, giving her an exasperated look, “WE’RE NOT PUSHOVERS.”

“We’ll see.” Dr. Mariah said, absolutely no doubt in her tone, before nodding slightly at the four, “I will see you all next time. You all did a very good job today. You handled yourselves well. Good job.”

“Uh… yeah! Okay,” Kaito said, getting up and, not wanting to be in the middle of whatever this fight was going to look like, helping the others up as well, offering his hands before saying, ‘We’ll, uh… we’ll just go. Let’s go?”

…eh. Maybe he was just in A Mood, but…well, they did storm in with the intention of embarrassing his family. So they could clean a fish pond. Kokichi could deal with their therapist calling him out later. 

Taking one of Kaito’s hands, Kokichi nodded and gave a wave to Dr. Mariah and the mentors. “See you later! And see you next week, Dr. Mariah!”

“Mmm…watermelon sounds really good, but the idea of cart mango is really tempting…” Kokichi hummed as they left the office, waiting until they got back down to reception--no sign of Blair--before looking at his family with a more concerned eye. “...you guys okay? Drinks and food and then home?”

“I’m alright,” Shuichi sighed, patting his hat in his pocket absentmindedly, assuring himself it was still there, “Like I said, tired, but food and drink won’t hurt that. It’s… good. That we got all of that out in the open. Both Maki and I’s thing. Right, Maki?”

“Makes things easier, yeah.” Maki agreed, shrugging. “If he wants to spoil my kid now with spas and massages, good. I’m sure Timothy will find it boring, but maybe I can convince him to take the girls too, make it a treat for the three before more regular training starts again.”

“What about you, babe?” Kaito asked, reaching out and running his thumb over the back of Kokichi’s neck, trying to be reassuring and also looking for signs of muscle tension, already thinking of offering his own massage when they got back, “We left you alone for a bit there. Did they give you any trouble?”

Kokichi nodded a bit, glad that…it hadn’t just been a huge disaster. Though, honestly, Dr. Mariah likely would’ve intervened more if it was going that way. It was hard…but things would be easier in the long run. Hopefully better too. 

Leaning into Kaito’s slight massage, at least as much as he could while they were walking, Kokichi sighed softly. “Nothing I couldn’t see coming. They played around, trying to get confirmation that I wasn’t abusing you, and while I really hate when people ask that…it was kind of satisfying getting to point out exactly how that whole theory falls apart. And…apparently there’s a rumor in Luminary about how dedicated to peace I am, since I ‘let’ Chisa ‘get away’. So that’s why we were talking about justice and all that.”

“...we talked about the party a little.”

Kaito just sighed at the abuse comment, having kind of gotten over that a long time ago. He still wasn’t thrilled with his new reputation at home, but… well, all of that was far away now. No one was sending letters asking about it anymore, and if the mentors had just gotten it confirmed it wasn’t happening, then, well, good. At least on their ends, problem solved. 

It’d probably bother him more if he ever went home and had to face those questions himself from his fellow Luminaries, but for right now, it was easy to not think about. 

As for Kokichi’s misunderstanding… Kaito gave Kokichi a curious look. Still rubbing his neck with his thumb as they walked– and yeah, he could feel some tension there. He’d offer to do it properly later– as he asked, “Isn’t that… a good thing? You are really dedicated to peace. Is it bad that they just misunderstood why?”

“I’m going to guess they don’t have any new information on the party since I last asked them about it.” Shuichi mused, “Danganronpa’s ‘on the case’? Just haven’t managed to find anything, officially?”

“As for Luminary as a whole, I don’t think so, no,” Kokichi sighed. “But even if it paints me in a worse light to people…the ‘why’ is a huge misunderstanding of Dicean culture, and even if we stress the laws and common social beliefs in the border pamphlets and travel bureaus…it’s still going to be a very difficult, messy learning curve for most people. And it might be easier, but if people ask me straight out, I’m going to explain.”

“And…yeah. That’s what Kyouko said…” Kokichi frowned, his gaze downcast as he lowered his voice. “...I wish there was a way to tell people. Just…to finally give answers, even if they are horrible ones.”

“There’s no safe way to give that information away. And anything we send, cryptic or otherwise… we wouldn’t be able to provide proof, and the closure wouldn’t exactly be happy. I don’t see a way we could interfere without making it worse for the people we’d be trying to help.” Shuichi said softly, not pleased with the idea, but quicker to recognize that inaction was likely the only action available to them for this… though his eyes widened as he realized, “Oh. But if it would help ease your mind…”

Shuichi looked around, trying to make certain any extreme reaction wouldn’t be noticed by any nearby nosy passerbys. But the path they were on was relatively clear as he said softly, “Drake shared a vision he had with me. About Danganronpa. He seemed fairly confident it was going to happen… but apparently, this generation or the next? Danganronpa’s getting a new monarch. Someone better. Apparently Flora are on the cusp of an upswing… I know that doesn’t mean much for the party, but the regime that hid their murder is going to fall soon… that’s not nothing.”

Kaito’s eyebrows shot up… before he frowned. “That seems pretty extreme. And Drake said the future changed constantly…”

“Again, he seemed confident. I get the sense this is different, somehow.”

“Can’t happen soon enough. Hopefully whoever takes over is better than what we have… or at least sets Queen Enoshima on fire.” Maki muttered.

Kokichi nodded sadly. Taka couldn’t talk with his family again, despite literally being able to. He couldn’t haunt them and ruin them with that hope. And they couldn’t pass on any message without severely endangering people who just wanted to help, or to be blown off entirely. It was…sickening, but…this would remain a mystery in history, with only a few knowing the truth. 

But…

…

Kokichi’s eyes widened as he looked at Shuuichi in shock for a moment. 

(A deal to restore balance to the Flora… but it wouldn’t just be killing without a plan, if Drake knew that whoever was next…would be good.) It would be too late for…too many. But if the future could be brighter…

Kokichi let out an astounded breath before sagging against Kaito’s arm a little, hiding his face as a few giggles escaped him. “...that’s incredible news… If…if I don’t say who it’s from…can I tell my mentor? I…I know that would be…a tremendous weight off them, if they knew…” Chihiro, Taka, and Mondo had all lost their lives because of the Flora… They were the people it was too late for. 

But Alter Ego was kind. The kind of being that looked at the future. And knowing that something that seemed unfightable would one day change for the better…it might not be just relief, but Kokichi really believed that they deserved to know.

“I don’t see why not.” Shuichi said, looking pleased with the giggle, having hoped since he heard the news that Kokichi in particular might find relief in it. Kaito seemed like he was still getting his head around it, and Maki… well, sometimes it was hard to tell what she was thinking. “Your mentor trusts you. If you tell them you have good reason not to give your source, I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“Don’t you know a clairvoyant, ‘Kichi?” Kaito mused, “Maybe he can confirm it? Or at least try too, he’s, like, not very good at it, right?”

“Thank you…” Kokichi murmured into Kaito’s arm, still just…processing. Junko’s reign would be over…and her successor would be good. Not just half-heartedly following the ideas Junko instated… Actually good. 

Taking a breath, Kokichi laughed a little. “Maybe… 30% of the time his visions are 100% correct. He might be able to see something, though…” 

Even if it was in their kids’ time… Their Miya, able to connect with her people and be proud. The world a better place for their kids…

Kaito seemed to come to that conclusion at the same time as Kokichi did, grinning as he said, “Hopefully it’s this generation. Miya and Addie getting to really explore this hivemind thing, get to know other Flora… it’s really not possible, the way things are now. But maybe once they’re older and this monarchs made some changes in Flora culture… I mean, I still think the concept of their species sounds really nice. I’d love for them to be able to explore that, and decide for themselves if they want to remain a part of it. That’s… if it’s true? I’d be really happy for them.”

“Mmm… we’re sure I can’t just pop over there and hurry the regime change along?”

“Maki, I will sic my scary, backwards husband on you. He gave me permission, I’m allowed to do that now.”

“Fight me, Ouma.” Maki said idly, her voice clearly teasing.

“It would be incredible, to see it happen…” Kokichi hummed, nuzzling Kaito’s arm as he got his breath back. But…what he knew aside, it wasn’t something he wanted to rush before the pieces were in place. 

So…he didn’t say something like, ‘you don’t have to actually go anywhere to make a change’. 

Instead, Kokichi just peeked around Kaito to give Maki a grin. “Ooooh just you see. I’ll wield the full force of the judicial system I’ve spent my whole life learning from an ethical perspective. Try matching a weapon like that.”

“Ever heard of a Prince Albert?” Maki asked.

Kaito tensed. “Maki. No.”

“I’ll give Kaito a Prince Albert.” Maki threatened, “Though, maybe that’s not so much a ‘threat’ for you, since you’d probably thank me for it…”

Kokichi snorted. “I think you’d actually need a piercing license for something like that… I know there’s a tattoo parlor in the city that people rave about but…well, I’ve never gone, for obvious reasons.”

He could probably be alright with certain piercings, but a tattoo? Even people without health complications had to take certain precautions getting tattoos--as pretty as some were, it wasn’t worth bleeding out and getting infections for.

“No one’s giving me a dick piercing, professional or not.” Kaito said stiffly, a few ear piercings making him want to make that very clear, “My dick is already perfectly adequate, thank you. Right Shuichi?”

“... why would we thank you for it?” Shuichi asked, sounding curious.

Maki whispered into his ear.

Shuichi flushed, “Oh… huh…”

“Not. Happening.”

“You already make fun of me enough,” Kokichi snorted, before squeezing Kaito’s hand. “I like Kai-chan the way he is, and anything more would give me a big ‘game over’.” 

Was he being a little weirdly obtuse? Yeah, but Kokichi would rather die than chat in public about how he already lost his mind from his husband’s dick, and anything that would make it feel even better would make him cum in an instant. He had a little more decorum than that.

“There, see? Kokichi says no. So no.” Kaito said, squeezing Kokichi’s hand back, before looking suspiciously at Shuichi, “...no.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Shuichi said with a small laugh, giving his partners a soft look. Turning to Maki, he lightly put his hand out, squeezing her arm for a moment, till her eyes turned to him. “...thank you. For the stairwell.”

“Course.” Maki said, trying to tuck her hair behind her ears as she sighed, “I forgot how much of a nightmare dealing with our mentors can be. They’re never going to see us as not-apprentices.”

Kokichi nodded a bit, something both fond and a little exasperated on his face. “You never stop being your parents’ kid. You just get old enough to feel patronized.” And other stuff, but…Kokichi had a feeling that was more of a Dicean perspective. Calling your parents out on their bullshit once you were old enough to process things and look out into the world to realize some of that shit was bullshit. Things that his friends might do privately, but even with the strides they’d made in therapy, talking about it bluntly with their mentors might be far too much of an ordeal. 

Seeing one of the fruit carts that he’d been thinking about, Kokichi nudged their group towards it. Getting a flower-looking mango on a stick covered in chili powder sounded really nice…but that would mean no Kaito-kisses…hmmm…

Shuichi got a mango-smoothie, Maki didn’t get anything, Kaito after some negotiation literally just managed to buy A Mango, though he had been a little surprised that literally just buying a mango whole wasn’t actually on the menu. He chewed into the fruit, only to discover by the third bite that Maki had apparently decided that Kaito was going to share some of his mango with her, and after some bickering and a flash of the dagger Maki was the proud owner of a few slices of mango.

“...man, I’m tired.” Kaito said as they headed back to the castle, “I think I’m gonna grab some coffee from the dining hall. You guys want me to bring anything up?”

A little amused by what his family got, Kokichi decided to get an almost conical shaped chunk of watermelon on a stick, graciously offering Kaito a few bites, especially in the face of his mango tax. It was a nice little treat after therapy, but…

Kokichi gave a sigh as he shook his head. “I’m good. I think I’m just gonna zone out after checking in with my dad and making sure Miya’s good. Just…staring out the window for an hour sounds like a nice way to spend the rest of the afternoon.”

“...maybe I’ll paint my nails, I dunno.”

“I don’t believe for a moment you all have enough nail polish to do whatever random mashup of colors you’d put on, Kokichi.” Maki said simply. “Do you all have any nail polish?”

“We have figurine paint. It comes off nails real easy! The skin around the nails is a bit longer.” Kaito said, noting the look Maki gave him and shrugging, offering no further explanation. 

“...I think I’d like to take Miyako and try to find Miss. Kirigiri later.” Shuichi said, running his hand through his hair, “I haven’t really let them interact yet, not really. And I wasn’t wrong what I said in therapy… I may never see her again after this summer. It’s dangerous in Luminary right now, and–”

“She’s going to be fine, handsome.” Kaito said, “Though I totally support Miya and grandmetor bonding time.”

“You don’t know she’ll be fine, Kaito. She’ll be surrounded by enemies going back, even allies she had will be wanting to tie up loose ends.”

“Sure,” Kaito said, “And if Miss Kirigiri was anyone else? I might be worried for her. But I’m not. Because you know what she is? She’s a royal detective slash revolutionary whose girlfriend is, if I wasn’t misunderstanding what they were saying today, a literal crime lord, and her best friend is a top-tier assassin who is apparently literally down for whatever.” Kaito chuckled, shaking his head, “If she wanted too? Miss Kirigiri’s going to fucking run NGP. All free and, someday, with her conditioning taken care of? Queen Kaede’s not going to know what the hell to do with her.”

“I got that color-changing kind from Mikaku for my birthday,” Kokichi shrugged. “I think that’ll be enough to appease my indecision. And I’m pretty curious to see how it works.”

…what was left for the mentors in Luminary was…unclear. It sounded like Kyouko and Nekomaru still had their jobs, if actually made with fair terms and not part of the program, and Kaede would be a fool to think anyone would be more effective in those roles than them. And she really didn’t need to be making bitter enemies with anyone, let alone people who supported her right now. 

Still…the fact that they were on vacation for essentially as long as they wanted to be meant things were changing. 

Kokichi gave Shuuichi a soft look, following up Kaito. “No one is actually invincible…but your mentor really does have the most advantages I could think of for…practically anyone in NGP right now. It’ll be nice for her to bond with Miyako right now…but she’ll get to do it again when we make our trip to Luminary. And maybe that one will be something Miyako will get to remember.”

“Hmmm.” Shuichi hummed.

Kaito gave Shuichi a mildly tense look. He knew his fiance had some opinions about the idea of them ever visiting Luminary again. Kaito didn’t know how to have that conversation with him, or if there was a conversation to even have. Maybe when the time came to actually planning a trip, Shuichi wouldn’t be so… against the idea. Maybe time would solve that problem.

“Well, I need a run myself. Unless you want me to come?” Maki asked, looking to Shuichi, “Be backup?”

“...no, I think we’ll be okay. Thank you, Maki.” Shuichi said. “I trust our mentors. I know we’ve had our fears, for how things will translate here, but… they really do care about us. It’s always been complicated but, well, they really are thinking about us.”

“Got it. Kaito, you wanna go running with me?”

“Hm? No, no,” Kaito shook his head, “Shuichi’s got Miyako later, Kokichi’s gonna zone out? I might take that nap. Like I said, I’m tired. Gonna reset.” Kaito said, before bringing Kokichi’s hand up and kissing the back of his hand, “Maybe rub your back a little before I go to sleep? I know your body hasn’t hit you in a while, but I imagine the stress has made some knots. Do a tune-up?”

It was no longer a hot priority…but as long as people believed a Momota had to rule Luminary? Then they would need to go so Miyako could give up her claim. And…even if Shuuichi hated it, Kokichi still would want to make the most of that trip. It would be his first time in a foreign country, at least physically.

Nodding along with everyone’s plan for the rest of the afternoon, Kokichi gave Kaito a grin, pressing his head into his arm. “Oh, you know I’ll never say no to a Kai-chan massage. Can tuck you into your nap, too.”

“Awesome,” Kaito grinned, the four heading upstairs, giving Maki a nod as she headed off to her room. 

Opening up the door for them, Kaito stepped in… “...Ikou?” he asked, looking around.

-

{Sun} Miyako thought contently, just chilled out in Flower Smell’s arms, down in the south garden. 

She had just gotten a taste of some sun in the window seat, and it occurred to her she wanted more. More direct sunlight. And so she had prompted Flower Smell to bring her to more sun. And she was pretty pleased with her decision, not just enjoying the sun, but grass smell too. Mmmmm… it smelled nice. 

She let the tether go, happy enough with the situation now that she didn’t feel the need to keep hold of it anymore. Happily kicking her legs against the grass as she coo’d contently. 

Ikuo blinked a few times before sighing. Like father, like daughter. 

“Ya know tha’s a bad habit, Miya,” Ikuo sighed, straightening her posture against him as she basked in the garden. “Gotta ask folks fer stuff like that. An’ yer folks ‘r prolly worried… Shoul’ be gettin’ back soon, I reckon.”

Honestly, it would’ve just been luck that they hadn’t seen Ikuo in the south garden, which Kokichi would likely think to himself as he felt out for the very noticeable signature of his daughter. 

“C’mon, darlin’, le’s go talk t’ yer folks, an’ maybe they’ll be happy ta play wi’t’cha outsi’ still.”

Ikuo gently scooped Miyako up, preparing himself for infant displeasure.

Eh? Eeeeh?

“W-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Miyako screamed, frustrated as grass wasn’t touching her feet anymore. Sure, she could tether him again, but sometimes an infant just wanted to do her first instinct, which was to just loudly express displeasure. 

Thankfully, Kokichi had already been guiding Kaito into the garden, Kokichi aware everything was fine but Kaito needing the reassurance as he let out a breath of relief at hearing her, trotting the distance across the grass as he said, “Oh, Miya. Sorry, sorry Ikou. Here, I’ve got her. Miyaaaaa.”

Nodding, Ikuo passed her over, giving the new parents a half-amused look. “‘Pologies fer givin’ y’all a startle--li’l miss decided she wanted ta sit in th’ grass in the sun. Jus’ as set on what she wants as ya were, Bunny.”

Kokichi sighed as he caught up with them, reaching out as he did by habit at this point whenever he saw her, sending affection to Miyako. “Ah, really? We have been trying to work around that…sorry, Dad.”

Ikuo shrugged. “Worse things than wantin’ some sun. Jus’ glad we stayed nearby.”

Shaking his head, Kokichi gave Miya a look that was too fond to be reproachful. {You wanted some sun? It’ll be okay, Dada wanted to take a walk with you anyway. You can’t just take Grampy wherever you want, though, okay?}

Ding, ding, ding!

{Grass!}

Kaito blinked down at Miyako. That was the first time she had ever sent a… head message, whatever it was called, ‘intent’ to him. Huh. Was that a first word? Well, no, not really, it hadn’t been a ‘word’ more than understanding the concept of grass and how much Miyako would quite like to put her little feetsies in it. 

Kaito sighed, putting Miyako against his chest, patting her bum, “Miya, we can’t kidnap grandpa. It’s ruuuude. My baby girl… okay, okay, fine, but this isn’t a reward for mindnapping.”

Kaito sighed, sitting down and laying Miyako down, Miya still pouting and huffing, but her cries dying down as she settled into the grass, looking up at him. With that, at least the dinging stopped. Kaito gave his daughter a slightly reproachful look, patting her stomach as she cood’ lightly, “You are a mean baby, you know that Miya? Such a mean baby. You’re a mean little baby, yes you are, yes you are~”

Sighing again, Kokichi turned to give his dad a hug, Ikuo holding him for a warm moment. “We’ve got Miya, if you had other plans to get to. Shuu-chan was thinking about taking her to spend some time with Kyouko.”

“Sounds li’ a lovely time,” Ikuo hummed, before pulling back and giving Kokichi’s shoulders a gentle squeeze. “...therapy alrigh’?”

Kokichi rolled his eyes a little. “Well, the mentors crashed, so that turned pretty interesting, but…I think it was good, yeah.”

Answers one way or another, huh? Ikuo shook his head with a small snort. “How ‘bout that… Alrigh’, I’ll le’ch’all rest up, but I’ll be at home th’ rest ‘a th’ nigh’, if y’all need anythin’. See ya, Kaito, Miya.”

“Bye Ikou, thanks again, and, uh, sorry again. Miya, say goodbye to grandpa.” Kaito urged her, taking her little baby arm and waving it, “Byeeee, grandpa. I’m sorry I kidnaaaaped you. Byeeeee~”

{Grass.} Miyako sighed contently. 

-

Waku had warned him this might happen. 

It was the reason Kaito had invited her out tonight in the first place. It had been a rough week for Waku. She was just getting skittish. Little things building up again, thinking people were staring at her too long, getting nervous about dark corners. Kaito and her had talked that maye a night out together would help the nerves, but Waku had warned him that she might end up trying to sleep it off instead. 

Twenty minutes into when they were supposed to meet up, and Kaito was thinking she had maybe decided to hunker down. He sipped at his mead, a little worried. Should he go see her… no, no, she had said she might try to sleep it off. He’d leave her be, check on her in the morning. Trust her tonight, verify it tomorrow. It’d be okay.

… should he go home?

Kaito was wearing his cape and hood, the green one. He wore it when he went drinking to hide his hair. Waku liked to make fun of him for it, but it made Kaito feel less stupid about going out without a guard. He knew he was so paranoid about it when Kokichi and Shuichi went out without anyone, but he… well, he just liked to be alone. 

Stupid? Absolutely. Hypocritical? Yes. But still true. 

Forty minutes by, and Kaito knew Waku wasn’t coming. And he was starting to suspect he wasn’t going home either. His partners knew he was out drinking, so… maybe it’d be nice to just be alone for a bit. He had gotten permission. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. What, he was gonna go home and just be in the way and tipsy before going to sleep? Who did that help?

Nearly two hours into his night, and Kaito was actually a little relieved Waku hadn’t decided to come out. He was in his feelings. Waku deserved a more fun night then Kaito whining about his problems again. Kaito was tired of whining to his loved ones. He was fucking pathetic. Oooooh, poor fucking Kaito, can’t fucking just… control his emotions. Worry his poor fiance to the point where he has his vampire clairvoyant friend go and babysit him, asking for Dr. Mariah’s help to handle the ‘Kaito problem’. Dumbass Kaito who needs to carry around the dumbass rock…

Kaito ordered something a little harder than mead, nursing a rum. His partners had given him permission to go out and drink tonight, he was allowed, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was allowed. It was fine…

By definitions even different than her own, Nao had become a homebody in the last year. And…it was a good thing, not scoping out late night parties and random stake-outs and…well, those things for more carnal pleasure too. Nao’s life had been filled to the brim with risk-taking behavior so…the last year had been cutting that out.

But wallowing around in her workshop, or sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling was definitely swinging the other way, and Yasu had beat her therapist to it in calling her out for that. So once in a while she just…went out. Anywhere busy or uncaring enough that they’d let her in the door, and that she wouldn’t be arrested for going. Not always the healthiest places, but definitely not the kinds of places Nao would find herself in the middle of the night before. 

Not that it was the middle of the night, per se. It was night, but relatively early, and the diurnal crowd was still out and about. 

Unlike her past style, Nao was just wearing some sweatpants and a simple tank top with a lightweight black jacket, her newly cut hair already falling from the flat clip she’d fastened in the back, and she came into the pub without much aplomb, waving briefly to the barkeep and getting a rum and soda, scoping out the pub briefly before finding a surprisingly empty corner, for the kind of place this was, and settling down. 

She didn’t carry her journal into town anymore.

It wasn’t that Kaito didn’t see her. 

He literally just didn’t recognize her.

The truth is? Kaito saw Nao literally a handful of times, and the only time he was really seeing her was when he was so blind with rage that she had looked more like a ball of heat to him. That was what it was like, when he was in a blood rage. Everything was just shapes and temperature and noise. Eye color could shine out brightly, like search lights, in that cacophony of chaos and noise, but that was just because he was looking to see which way his opponent was planning to turn. Most people couldn’t help but look where they were going. Everything else? Just… heat and movement and noise.

And after that? He had barely been able to look at her at all. Because each time he glanced in her direction, the feeling started to come back.

And now it was months later. Honestly, almost a year later. All the Nao stuff had happened so early on. So when he glanced over and saw a woman come in, with short blue hair and a slender build, all he thought was… ‘tall’, before looking back down at his rum.

He liked tall people. He liked short people too. He liked people who nestled comfortably into his neck.  He liked all sorts. He liked everyone. He always had.

He didn’t remember when he started finding people physically attractive. As far as he knew, he always had. And not in an innocent ‘people are cute’ way. 

Kaito didn’t know when he learned about sex. As far as he could recall, he had just… always known. He didn’t remember anyone telling him about it. He remembered telling other kids about it. Gossiping with his school mates, feeling smug and grown up as he answered their questions about sex. Intimate questions. Details. He had just always known. 

And he had been fed poppies his whole childhood. 

And Tengan had lived in his head.

Dumb… pointless… “Can I get some warm bread?” Kaito asked the barkeep, his eyes starting to unfocus. He was gonna be drunk today– was already kinda drunk– but he shouldn’t get wasted. He didn’t want to worry his partners. Gotta be responsible. Get some bread to soak up the alcohol in his stomach.

As he waited for his bread, he looked around the pub, sipping at his rum. He was sitting at the bar. He liked to sit at the bar, he usually liked to flirt with the other bar hogs and the barkeep. Otherwise it was just habit. Not a lot of people here. He and Waku liked this place, it was the place Waku had first found him. They hadn’t seen that guy since. Kaito almost thought it was a shame he wasn’t here. He was such a bastard… Kaito sometimes enjoyed talking to people like that. They made him feel raw. He liked feeling raw sometimes. His emotions were so physical…

…did she look familiar?

After a lifetime habit, it was hard, not…well, using people as case studies. Watching them, zeroing in on little habits or maybe an interesting expression, coming up with stories about who they were, why they were there… It wasn’t that people watching was a bad habit in and of itself, it just…led her down the process of treating people like little puppets acting out a show that she was directing. 

Power fantasies. 

So…instead of watching, and instead of zoning out, Nao was working on a loop-braided…whatever. Maybe a bracelet or a necklace or a little tie to put on keys…there were a ton of them sitting at home now that she hadn’t found a use for. But every time she learned a pattern well enough to do without looking, she tried something new, and…it kept her fingers and eyes busy. 

She had tried origami for a week, before it just made her too depressed. 

Nao sipped her drink and braided her colorful strings and…felt eyes on her. Looking up, orange met purple…not for the first time. 

…should she go? They had never taken out a restraining order, but Nao knew Kaito was still burningly pissed so… Yeah, she should go…

Kaito stared at her. She stared back. 

The barkeep put a basket of warm bread next to him and it occurred to Kaito that everything was really fucking stupid. 

Shuichi had said to ignore her if he ever saw Nao again. No, no, Shuichi had said to leave if Kaito ever saw Nao. And to not hurt her. And to not do anything weird to her. Weird Dicean punishments. Which probably meant no doing anything loud or obnoxious like screaming at her to get out of his god damn city.

Eh. Kaito had sworn. He wouldn’t. She looked like she was going to leave anyway. She looked like she didn’t want to see him. If he didn’t do anything? She’d leave. That’d be the smart decision. That’d be the smart thing to do.

Kaito grinned at her, picked up the breadbasket, and headed over. Sitting down with a thump in the chair and putting the bread basket down, giving her a delighted look. “What’tchya drinking? Can I buy your next shot?”

Oh boy.

Nao had just put her project back in her pocket when Kaito came waltzing up looking…like he’d probably been here for a while. As much as she tried not to keep up with what the royal family--it felt…strange thinking of them like that--did, she had heard about the kidnapping. And from that Kaito’s assault charge. 

The last thing she wanted was to taunt a drunk man into getting in trouble with the law again, just by existing. Which was…pretty gross, but so was she, so what can ya do.

Giving Kaito a tired look, Nao sighed. “I don’t want to bother you, Kaito. I’ll go.”

“You’re not bothering me. I’m bothering you~” Kaito chuckled, taking up a slice of bread and breaking it up, popping a piece in his mouth as he said to her, “If it makes you feel any better about it? I can absolutely be the bad guy in this conversation. Like, I approached you, ya know? So if anything bad happens? It’s my fault. No worries. Bread? It’s warm.”

Kaito pushed the basket to her, giving her a little grin… before saying, “Oh, come on… you’re not a little interested to see where this will go?”

Nao looked like she was visibly struggling. Because she was interested, damnit! But…what was right here? Was it correct to give him some catharsis, let him bully her for a while? Or was it responsible to leave and maintain the distance they’d kept up…especially while he was inebriated…

There was no question, when you were sober, and they were under the influence. 

“Kaito…you’re tipsy. And we should both know trying to be the bad guy never helps anyone. If you want to talk, my address is at the castle, but I’m not going to play this game with you. I don’t need more regrets, and I doubt you do either.”

“How noble of you.” Kaito said, giving her a somewhat dry look, “How very… Dicean. So, what you’re saying, is you’d like me to sober up, find out where you live, go over there, endure your wife’s stink-eye, and offer you bread there, while we all talk this out like reasonable people who do reasonable things? All, ya know… civilized and proper? Sounds damn near textbook. Totally realistic.”

“Yeah,” Nao said, voice dry as she got up. “We should be reasonable, because otherwise you get a bitch with a power complex.”

“Goodbye, Kaito.”

…he should just let her go. He should. He could practically feel Kokichi glaring at the back of his head. To stop doing things that worried him. To stop risking being arrested, dammit. Shuichi and Maki would be glaring at him too. Go home. Go home, Kaito.

……. Fuck he was tired of them always walking away. 

Kaito picked up the bread, and just trailed behind Nao. Not trying to be sneaky about following her. Just doing it.

Nao paused at the door, giving Kaito a look like, ‘dude. Come on’. But she sighed. “Your drinks are all paid for?”

Kaito brightly nodded, “Always pay up front! That way if something happens and ya gotta run, the guards don’t come looking for ya! Learned that in Luminary.”

“It’s a good practice,” she nodded idly before opening the door, holding it for Kaito as they passed through into the still sunsetting night. She couldn’t stop him from following her--asking a guard to escort him home wasn’t…really a position she could be in. Especially considering the vast majority of them were old coworkers--but she could put them in a position where he could just…leave at any moment with no ties. 

But still… “...you sure I can’t persuade you to do something healthier with your time?”

“Got any recommendations?” Kaito asked her, chewing on some of his bread. Darn it, it was going to get cold faster outside… was it seriously not even dark out yet?? Kaito sighed in disappointment, looking around. He had used to love the night life… “What’s a healthy use of a guys night out, Miss Nao?”

Nao’s face twisted at the name. “Being with your family. With friends. Going to a bingo night. You know…not following around someone you rightfully hate. That tends to be a warning sign.”

Looking around for a moment Nao headed in the direction of a park, kids already heading home by this time of night. Teens maybe not, but they still might be able to find a pretty barren spot. It wasn’t trapping him if she was telling him to go the whole time. 

“Oh yeah?” Kaito asked curiously, following where she led. He sighed as he realized they were heading to a park. Of course. Damn it, even on his free nights, getting into trouble, he still ended up in a park or a garden. Dicea was pretty, but damn, sometimes he missed his urban haunts. He’d do anything for a damn… hookah bar or a damn underground club or, fuck, sometimes he even just missed the damn alleys. Watching the lanterns and lights flicker from massive, towering buildings that went out past the horizon, nothing ever really silent, the city constantly buzzing. Hell, he even missed the gambling dens, which he had only ever hung out in because his crowd was usually there. He never won anything there. He just liked to sit and drink and hang out with his friends.

He missed home. 

“Ya know, I’m not going to do anything.” Kaito said, chewing on some more bread. He liked the crust. Something to dig his teeth into. “Everyone was convinced I was going to, like, kill you the first second I saw you, so everyone’s made me swear in, like, a thousand different ways to not hurt you. Kokichi, Shuichi, even Maki, and my therapist… literally everyone talks at me like I’m just going to lose my mind on you, first contact.” 

“So what do I do? Offer bread. And try to talk to ya. And now look at us.” Kaito grinned at her, “Me, stalking ya and being a weirdo. Still the bad guy. Ya gotta give it to me, I find creative ways to be an asshole, when my hands are tied. Come on, it’s a little impressive, right?”

“At this point, I don’t think you would. But you don’t have to do anything to do something you might regret in the morning. And if you did want to talk, then it’s not fair to you to have this conversation after you’ve been drinking, and I haven’t. And getting blasted myself would just be an even worse idea,” she sighed. 

Don’t. Don’t analyze people. You’re not their doctor. 

“As far as I’m concerned, I deserve it, so…maybe assholish, sure, but not being a ‘bad guy’. But a lot of people are assholes, or have their moments.”

Sighing again, Nao plopped down on a bench, taking out the pin in her short hair and running a hand through it. “Are you looking to be a bad guy?”

“Sometimes.” Kaito admitted, sitting down next to her, staring at the sky and drawing in his legs, sitting cross legged on his side of the bench, “It’s appealing, isn’t it? I mean, you know. Being the bad guy? It’s a lot of fun. You get to take the things you want, it’s exciting… and usually? It’s only when you start being the good guy again does all that shit catch up with you. Bad guys get to just keep having fun. Good guys have to deal with all that, ya know… regret and social punishments and self-esteem shredding. That shit doesn’t happen to bad people. They just get to walk off into the sunset.”

“You sure I can’t offer you some bread? I might end up eating all this bread if you don’t have some. I’m just saying, it’s not gonna last, I can eat really quickly.” Kaito told her, offering her a slice.

Sighing, Nao took a slice. 

“You’re not wrong. There’s a lot of variation in the people who do bad things…but that’s not what you said. Actual bad people? Always think what they’re doing is right, if not in a cosmic sense, then for them. The world would be a trashfire, but…there is something appealing in living without regret.”

Because there wasn’t always cosmic justice so…the bad deeds didn’t always catch up with the bad guy. Sometimes they really did just get to walk away. 

“...you really are an asshole. Now I want to ask what regrets you have, but I’m not your therapist. I’m just a bad guy in your life that got away.”

Kaito chuckled at that, “Told ya so. But that’s good. For me, anyway, it’s probably setting you back in some sort of therapy thing you’ve got going on, but for me? I don’t want to talk to reformed, reasonable, ‘hit me up when you’re sober and maybe we can sit down to talk’ Nao. Who the fuck wants to talk to her? I want to talk to the villain that ran through my fiance’s life like a god damn hurricane. I don’t have anything to say to the other Nao.”

“And in exchange? I am being very generous, in not making you talk to the Kaito that flinches anytime someone seems mildly disappointed in him and looks around to see if his husband is watching. You get to talk to Prince Momota, the second son, entitled asshole extraordinaire. Unless you want to ask skittish, proper, dad Kaito about his regrets.” Kaito asked, raising an eyebrow at her, “I can assure you, he’ll just make you sad. At least I’d be fun. And Shuichi’s got you pegged as an adrenaline junkie, so I know you enjoy having fun.”

“You know, if I was actually certified, went through school and all, I’d say it’s pretty interesting how you divide those sides, as if all of them aren’t the same person,” Nao sighed, before something…soft and regretful crossed her face. 

Shuuichi wasn’t wrong. He was an incredibly clever man. She wanted to congratulate them on the engagement.

“Getting into confrontations isn’t fun, it’s just empowering, and if you seek it out, that just makes you a jerk. And then eventually you just surround yourself with jerks because all the actually fun, reasonable people don’t want to deal with your drama. If you’ve found yourself moving on from that mentality, then it just means you’re learning how to not be a jerk. Though probably swinging too far the other way, if you avoid any confrontation at all.”

“...damnit,” Nao sighed, visibly annoyed with herself. “You’re right, this is murder on my habit building.”

“Suuuure,” Kaito sighed, wishing he had thought to buy a bottle and keep drinking, leaning his head back, stretching out his neck a bit, “What, you think I don’t know that? You know how much anger management I’ve been through since we left for that trip on the beach? It’s been non-stop. Relationship therapy? So damn much. The ‘fun’ thing to do is to be patient and thoughtful and take breaks and not seek out arguments, and boy, you better get that through your thick head, Kaito, cause otherwise we’re going to arrest you and your tiny husband’s going to have another stressed-induced heart attack and fucking die.”

“So yeah. I know. Avoid confrontation, try healthy distractions, remember what you’re doing it all for, blah, blah, blah… consider this, like, a temporary break from reality. Like, a small relapse with someone who, trust me, has more to lose than you do… we’ll go back to being good, healthy people in a few hours. An hour. Twenty minutes. Whatever, I don’t know how long you’ll sit here and put up with this. I can’t actually make you stay.”

Sighing, wishing again he had something to drink, Kaito closed his eyes… “Yasu tell you we got into an argument?”

…it was a dangerous slippery slope to disengage for a “temporary moment”. But…she could still watch her damn mouth without being on a soapbox. 

Those weren’t the fun things, though. Those were just the things you had to do so you could have fun. Fun was running into a stranger at a hookah bar, getting blazed out of your mind and giggling at the nonsensical stories you’d make up…but not actually getting blazed out of your mind, getting home safe afterwards, and feeling energetic and optimistic enough about the day ahead that you could make it to brunch with your wife’s work friends and gossip-not-really-gossip about crazy cases and what people were wearing at the last festival. 

Fun was having a good time with other people, and not destroying yourself or others. She just sucked at it. 

Nao side-eyed Kaito before lounging back on the bench, humming. “In her usual roundabout way, yeah. Said she pointed out where the aquarium was, then you intervened when some folks were getting weird with her, then went on to insult her posture. Hell of a rollercoaster, there.”

“Yeah, it escalated pretty quickly. Though, reflecting on it now, I kinda should have seen it coming. That’s what happens here. You insult someone? Act aggressive? They leave. No one has to stay, so they don’t. They usually just get off some last line, then walk away. I never know what the fuck to do every time that happens. It’s so annoyingly effective. Not how shit goes in Luminary at all.” Kaito chuckled. “Back home? The challenge is usually to convince the other person to leave. You never want to be the one to walk away. Shows weakness. You convince the other person to walk away, you won. Not quite as satisfying when they leave cause you’re just not worth it.”

“...I gotta know. Cause Kokichi and Shuichi are never going to ask.” Kaito mused, opening his eyes and looking at Nao curiously, “How much did she know?”

Nao nodded slightly, trying not to feel intrigued. “Mostly…people don’t have anything to prove to each other. Taking something like petty insults to threats and fists is just…childish. The kind of thing that just makes you feel like an idiot if the guards have to intervene and give you a talking to, like you’re a hormonal teenager again. If you’re just going to be insulted by someone, you don’t have to listen. Just…go on with your life and leave that other person to be obsessed. A lot of people consider themselves not having time to indulge some weirdo rando.”

Nao slumped on the bench a little. “Not enough for me to actually say I was being honest with her.”

“I told her that this new guy in the castle, from Luminary, was up to something, then I told her he was on some crazy dangerous drug, and I was gonna give samples to a doctor and try to get him off it without him offing himself. The fact that I was habitually raping him to keep him from killing himself or getting to hide the drugs again was something I oh-so conveniently shrugged off as a sidenote,” she rolled her eyes. “Yasu’s never wanted details about my fuck buddies, so it was a very convenient way to hide the major fucked up stuff I was doing to the person I trusted most to keep me honest.”

“...” Nao sighed, bringing her legs up on the bench as she sat back up. “...I don’t think I would’ve made it this year without her, but…I really think she should’ve left me. She should’ve left me for a hell of a lot, over the years.”

Kaito winced, his stomach rolling at that. He knew, of course, he hadn’t forgotten. But hearing her so casually reference it… right. This was the woman who had raped Shuichi. Who had taken Yuta’s trophy and Kyoko’s gift and…

Kaito wasn’t sure why he hadn’t wanted to think about it. If he was totally honest, he wasn’t sure why he was doing this anymore. He had sort of vaguely just wanted to bother her before, to what end he honestly didn’t know. Did he want a fight? Did he want to make her feel bad? Yes, yes, and also not really. Did he really just want to… talk to her? 

His fiance’s abuser?

Maybe he was the bad guy… he knew stalking her and harassing her made him an asshole. But talking to her like she was a person was what made him actually feel the sickly regret of being a bad person. What was wrong with him…

Once again, he wished he had more rum. He was already out of bread.

“Yeah, well… that’s what loved ones do, apparently. Forgive atrocities. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the only way love works. Just… a bad person preying on the forgiveness of good people. Atua knows you’re not in strange company.” Kaito admitted, though he knew there was only so much he could say about all of that. Sure, they were his mistakes, but it was Kokichi and Shuichi’s dignity that he gave up if he told anyone what he had done to them. There was no confessing his crimes to anyone without hurting them. Sometimes that was a relief, not having to face judgment. Sometimes it felt like Kaito was drowning in his guilt. Oh well… “Ya know, I’ve heard an argument that we’re not being fair to you. That I’ve ignored being furious with the people that helped you for convenience sake… they’re not wrong. Hajime I found out what he knew too late. And Seiko had too much I needed. I couldn’t risk making her an enemy, she was too important. It’s fucked up, but that’s the truth. I should have wanted to kill both of you. But even my angry dumbass knows you don’t turn away the only person who can stave off the heart attacks and lower the spore count.”

It wasn’t an apology. But Kaito said that so Nao knew he knew that it wasn’t fair, to focus on her when Seiko had also committed crimes against his fiance. Kaito knew the trade he had made. He was aware of the hypocrisy.

“Maybe,” Nao sighed. “It’s not only bad people that need forgiveness, but…damn do I feel like I don’t do anything right. And I know that’s not fair to Yasu either, it’s insulting to her to make it out like she’s only with me for a charity case, but at this point…I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to put enough on the ‘good’ side of the scale to make up for everything I’ve put on the ‘bad’. But being the one to give up, when it’s me in debt, just means I’m leaving the scale tipped.”

Something deeply sad darkened Nao’s eyes. “...your husband would likely have a different philosophy. Or maybe not. I don’t think I can make a claim on that anymore.”

Looking over at Kaito, Nao raised an eyebrow. “...didn’t know Hajime knew more than what we circled about. Huh… Guess that would explain a few things… But…none of that is unfair to me. People are hypocritical, and…I don’t even think that’s what you’re being. Seiko was helpful to you. I wasn’t. There’s your determining factor.”

“I deeply hurt Shuuichi in a way no person should, preying on his drug addiction and paranoia, and giving into my own, to just…do whatever dumbass idea came into my head, and keeping him from getting help. Nothing about that is forgivable. You’re right to want me dead.”

“I know.” Kaito mused, before grinning at her, “Though, you can just go ahead and keep saying it. I won’t say I don’t get a kick out of hearing it.”

“As for my husbands idea of forgiveness and redemption and all that… I mean, I can’t really talk for him. I don’t want to talk for either of them. I know there are things they both want to say to you, and I know me… at some point I’m going to tell them about everything that’s happening right now. Fuck, it might literally happen as soon as I get home, knowing me. And I don’t want to say to them ‘hey, you know that thing you wanted to say or ask her? Well I brought it up, here’s what she had to say’... that’d be shitty. Honestly, beyond gleefully reminding you what a piece of shit you were to us, there’s honestly not a lot I have the right to say. You hurt them, not me. I’m just the bastard that cares about them.”

“Unfortunately for you, you’re, like… still alive? And around? And not the literal leaders of the castle and the damn kingdom, so, of alllllllllllll the shitty people in my life I get to actually talk some shit back too? Whelp, there you are. And damn, I just cannot help wanting to take my shot at you.” Kaito admitted, shrugging, “Though, feel free to shoot back, cause, like, chances are you have some real fucking nut punches rattling around that brain of yours. You’re like a… evil, tall, female version of my partners. All smart and good at reading people, but for nefarious purposes.”

“...I can’t say I don’t want to talk to them,” Nao said after a moment. “Especially if they want to…yell, or ask things, or…get whatever they want out of me. Being around at first would just be a painful reminder, but now…they deserve to be able to close that chapter…if they haven’t already figured things out for themselves.”

But even saying that she didn’t deserve their forgiveness felt like expecting it too much. 

…but it still hurt. 

Nao gave Kaito a semi-curious look before giving a dull snort. “Yeah? Well…shoot, then. Might not be as satisfying as getting your piece of your cousin or brother or…any family left in Luminary, but…as you said, I am right here. And what the hell am I gonna do about it? It’s literally only the vows of their job that any of the guards would do more than spit on me if I was on fire.”

“You don’t need the guards, I already said, I’m not going to do anything. I swore to my partners, and my vows mean something to me. I really try to follow them. I try, anyway.”

Stars were starting to come out. They only shook a little bit when Kaito looked up at them. If he got drunk enough they would spin. It was pretty, when the lights spun. “And you could do plenty. It’s not hard to knock me down, especially in a verbal argument. My dumbass never learned how to argue with anyone, and of course I went to the country where that’s the only way anyone fights. Fucking everyone knocks me down here. I’ve literally never won an argument here. If you and I were to get into an argument? A real one? Not only would I lose, but then everyone would fucking, like… be angry and disappointed in me for even daring to get into an argument with you. Shuichi told me if I ever saw you I should walk away. Kokichi told me the next time I’m angry with someone to tell them my husband will have a word with them. Hey, Nao. If you’re mean to me, Kokichi’s going to beat you up. Like, in a polite, verbal, probably just taking me by the hand and leading me away and lecturing me kind of way. So… there. That’s your warning. Better watch yourself.”

…damn. Dammit. Kaito’s hands were shaking again. Fucking god damn it… he was rambling, sure, but his brain was on his family back home now. The ‘brother’ and the ‘cousin’. Damn it…

It was the trembling in his hands and knowing just how little he could actually do that made Kaito sit up properly, sneering at Nao and leaning in slightly, puffing out his chest and saying in a low, sultry tone, “I mean, there’s other ways I win arguments, of course~ It’s hard to be unkind to someone who excites you… makes your skin heat up and your nerves go alight. Get them pleased and exhausted and people will hear what you have to say then… Yasu got you on a leash yet? Or you still toting around sex toys in your purse, just in case?”

Well, he had already followed her out to a park and wouldn’t leave, and that was something you could ask for help with. But even Setsu would just dryly go over stalking policy, and cosmos forbid Lake was on patrol…

Nao nodded tiredly. “You have a lot of really obvious things that bother you. People have all sorts of soft spots, but…get called out enough, and you tend to grow some form of a thicker skin. Facing the things that hurt you over and over and over…either breaks you or shrinks the problem.”

It wasn’t bad advice, to just walk away if you got pissed. It was honestly what most people did, not wanting a moment of passion to ruin things. It was hard to keep your head, when you were mad. 

It was interesting what he thought would piss her off. 

Nao blinked slowly. “...that’s pretty fucked up, if you have sex with people just to argue with them. But you’re not saying you do that.”

“...nah. I haven’t touched anyone since Shuuichi. We threw out all the sex toys I had except what I use personally too. Gets frustrating, since I was used to indulging a higher libido, but…turns out I’m not too excited to have sex when I feel like shit.”

Kaito frowned at that, a little annoyed she didn’t seem uncomfortable with his advancement. Not flustered, not disturbed, not anything. He huffed, his body slumping as he leaned against the back of the bench, resting his head on his arm as he observed her. “No? Only get off to other peoples misery, huh? Strict sadist, no masochist?”

“Sometimes physically. And it wasn’t so much I was a sadist for sexual pleasure. It was just interesting, seeing what people wanted done to them. Whether they liked pain, or just wanted decisions taken out of their hands for a while. As long as I still got laid, I was happy to play whatever role for that people wanted. People were fascinating, and I loved them for it for a night.”

“...plus I’m not attracted to you,” Nao shrugged. “Too much bad blood. Having sex with someone who actually hates you is just another form of self-harm.”

“... you loved them for a night, huh?” Kaito said dryly, “Ya know, I just don’t believe you. What an ugly word for what you did. Fucking people because you want to mentally disect them isn’t fucking ‘love’. Not even a one night stand affection. It’s doing literally what I was talking about. Fucking someone to win. You won knowledge, I won socially.”

Kaito’s hands were still trembling as he said, “Maybe being able to put someone on their back and drawing noises out of them and making their eyes see lights doesn’t actually make you better than them, but fuck, for a night it felt like it. Like I was… cool, and powerful, and worthy of admiration. Like I was worth something… but that’s not me ‘loving’ every person I slept with. Hell, I didn’t even like all of them. I just liked how they made me feel about myself… and because I have that experience? You can’t fucking bullshit me. Don’t dress up the way you fucked with people’s heads as ‘temporary love’, or ‘loving parts of them’. It’s just selfish bullshit. You were doing it to plenty of people before you crossed the line with Shuichi. His was just the most fucking heinous example. Trust me, I’d know.”

Nao looked at Kaito for a moment before sighing. “Yeah. You’re right.”

It had certainly felt like love. Not romantic or even personal love. Just…a love for humanity, in being two people doing what people did, coming together for a moment before moving on. But…just because none of her temporary partners had wanted anything more than just a night of release didn’t mean that they weren’t just…mutually using each other. 

Maybe there was still something poetic in that. Maybe it was more plain. 

Nao was quiet for a few moments, thinking over what Kaito had said. The points he emphasized. Maybe it made her more of a monster, to want to lay aside any progress like he’d said. 

“...do you believe people who have sex casually, with various partners, are ugly?”

Kaito raised an eyebrow. “Why, cause I recognized your shitty justifications? No, not really.”

Though he immediately followed that up with a heated, “I’ve just been around it enough to see the way people fucking lie to themselves about it. About why they do it. Sure, every now and again you get someone who really is all they say, just someone who casually get around because sex is fun and its, like, social. It happens… but those people aren’t everyone, but everyone who does it claims to be them.”

“The reality is? And not just for casual sex, but like… just sex in general!?” Kaito said, sitting up, looking frustrated, “Most of the time, sex is just a subsitute for some other fucking thing they actually want. But they can’t have it, so they just dress it up as casual sex, fucking beat the shit out of you for a night, and then fucking move on. And the best you can hope for is you got what you needed out of them too, and they didn’t want to hurt you too bad! Not, like, bdsm or any of that, but like… they wanted to pretend you were someone else! Or, they want to make themselves feel bigger, or make you specifically feel small. Maybe they just didn’t want to be alone or needed a distraction from something, and that’s fine, but… it’s so rarely just sex. There’s always something.”

“And then there’s people like you.” Kaito snarled, glaring at her, “Who take that substitute in sex and decides to make everything else a subsitue for sex, because that’s the thing you’re certain you can control. You can’t get people to sit down and let you study their brain? So you sleep with them as a way to do that. And when you realize that fulfills you, you decide to make things that should have never had anything fucking to do with sex at all about sex, to make it easier to do what you actually want to do, which is dissect people. You find a druggie in your library? Thank goodness you brought your god damn dildo to work, cause now you can solve the case. Cause of course it had to be through sex.”

Peering at her, Kaito asked, “How many cases did you crack sleeping around with people, huh? I bet Shuichi wasn’t the first time you tried it. I bet it got to the point where it stopped occurring to you there were other ways to approach it. When all you got is a hammer, everything’s a nail, right? So you nailed everything.”

Kaito, to be perfectly clear, was calling Nao out… but in his mind he was seeing so many other people. People who should have just told him they missed him before they fucking roofied him with a sex drug. People who had decided to make his marriage about fucking fulfilling a sexual fantasy. People who had made his childhood training about fulfilling a personal kink. 

People who had made his whole god damn life about sex.

Nao could hear echoes in his words, but…honestly, that was for Kaito and his therapist to get into. What was for her was…what he was right about. And those were things she regretted. 

And…maybe what Kaito had wanted for a long time, it showed on her face. 

“There’s actually quite a lot of people who are happy to sit down and have someone poke at them. Makes ‘em feel important. And a good chunk of the time…sure, I attract a type, but sometimes people just wanted a lay, same as me. But…what I did to Shuuichi was as you said.” And didn’t she regret it every day. 

“...I didn’t think he was on drugs, at first,” she said after a moment, something quiet and…not quite repentant in her voice, but only because she didn’t believe she deserved it. “Just thought he was in the scene. Doesn’t justify what I did, though. When I realized just how inexperience he was? Or when I saw he wasn’t getting tired? I should’ve just left it there. Instead, it wasn’t until I’d actually tortured him into passing out and got the drugs I found in his room analyzed that I realized I’d made a mistake at all. And then instead of being a normal person and telling his family, or a rehab center? I thought, oh!”

There Nao’s voice became animated for the first time, just dripping with false cheer and disdain. “Oh! I can do it! Surely he’ll die if I don’t try to manage every little thing, and, oh, of course the savages that care for him more than anything would disregard anything I said and let him kill himself, after killing me! What a wonderful plan!”

Scoffing, Nao spat into the grass. “I didn’t fuck around with my work that often, but they sure become more friendly if you’re a little fucked up. Just never took a look at myself to realize how fucked up I got.”

There was something about watching Nao spit in the grass. About hearing her absolute… exasperation with herself. Her mockery… Kaito blinked and she wasn’t Tengan or Togami or his father anymore. He didn’t like her better for it, but… it made her less monstrous to him. It took some of the rigidness out of his back, Kaito just watching her now. Tired and sad. His chest, back and legs were trembling now. He wished his body would stop. He felt like his muscles were going to pop out of his skin, and he wasn’t cold or scared. He was just so… tense. 

“...I didn’t realize my relationship with sex had become a problem until I hurt Kokichi and Shuichi with it either.” Kaito said softly, resting his head against his arm, just willing his body to calm down. Maybe he should pull out his rock. He wasn’t angry, but maybe it’d help to have something in his hand. He didn’t reach for it though. Just said, “I can’t go into it. It’s not fair to either of them. But my desire to, like… be powerful? And important? Through sex? I hurt both of them with it. And I should have realized what was happening before it got to that point too.”

Hell, her description of her first night with Shuichi? That was his and Kokichi’s first night, word for word. Kaito had willfully ignored all the signs that Kokichi was too inexperienced for what Kaito was doing, that Kaito needed to be way gentler and, fuck, needed to listen to him more. Rather than just telling him what was going to happen. And he should have realized something was wrong when Kokichi just kept going. Kaito should have realized Kokichi was on something immediately. He had hurt his husband with just his desire to… be appealing. And cool, and in control, that first night. To be bigger than life and have Kokichi look at him like he was awe inspiring…

And that wasn’t even getting into whatever the fuck had gotten into Kaito’s head with the dick night.

And he had shared Shuichi. Kaito could justify every other thing that had happened with Shuichi, that first time they slept together, except that Kokichi had been there. Shuichi would have agreed to anything. Kokichi was still inexperienced and trying to help. It was Kaito who had made the decision that his and his husbands relationship not being strained any more than it was was worth passing Shuichi around. Kaito was Shuichi’s best friend… he should have insisted that he handle Shuichi alone. Should have dealt with the consequences. Instead Kaito had chosen to be the ‘hero’ in both relationships, letting his insecure husband follow through on this idea that Kaito would dismiss him for Shuichi if he got a taste, and taking advantage of Shuichi’s inability to say no. Not being the ‘bad guy’ to either partner by refusing them, and thus failing both of them.

Kaito’s fears of being Nao weren’t just repeating her mistakes in bed. He just… recognized things about her in himself. Parts of himself he didn’t like.

“... why do you think we’re like this?” Kaito asked her, lights around the park turning on. Night time officially here. “I’ve known… so many people who decided it was okay to hurt people through sex. So many… even being one of them, sometimes I just can’t understand…it feels so random, sometimes.”

Nao gave Kaito a tense look, a flash of anger tightening her face. Despite everything, angry that someone would hurt her…would hurt Kokichi. (Because he wasn’t hers anymore. She gave up that right when she hurt someone he loved.) But…

…hell, he only brought it up because it mirrored what she had done. It didn’t make either instance okay, but…it did make the pot calling the kettle black some meaningless words. And…she could hope by this point, that with a child and an engagement since, nothing else had happened, and they were getting help. Then again, Yasu hadn’t divorced her. 

Nao sighed, tipping her head back and looking into the dark sky. “...there was some theory going around that it’s from our parents. Didn’t get enough or the right type of love, so we’re just fucked up. Maybe there is something to that.”

“I think I’ve always been fucked up, and just never realized that where I thought I was getting better, I wasn’t. I mean, I joined a death cult at fourteen, so there’s definitely something wrong there…” She tilted her head a little, really thinking. “I wanted to be special, I think. In any way. Most people go through that sort of ego discovery as kids, but…I just never grew out of it. Went through too much trauma when I was supposed to be figuring it out. Couldn’t accept that if I was really just…anyone? Then why had all the bad things happened to me too? But there isn’t really an answer for that. And when there was someone that made me feel special?”

Closing her eyes, something pained went through Nao’s face as she righted her head. “After a while it stopped being something ‘good’ and ‘special’ and just…what I was owed. So I still had something to prove…”

“Maybe. It’s a working theory. I used to think it was so bizarre that so many religions stressed humility as a virtue, but…I get it. No one owes you anything, so…everything you get as a gift. Lose sight of that and…the world becomes cruel, not giving you anything, while the people around you seem happy.”

“That’s fair. Working theories are fair. I think that’s all we really get.” Kaito murmured.

“...if… if we’re… talking working theories…” Kaito glanced over at Nao, his stomach twisting again. This time with apprehension. He shouldn’t tell her this. He shouldn't’ tell anyone this, but especially not her. She was… she had hurt Shuichi. She wasn’t a friend. Kaito was betraying his family, right now, talking to her like this. He should have ruined her day and gone home. This wasn’t how you treated your enemies. Especially not your families enemies. This was wrong…

“...I think I was, like, literally trained to think that, like… sex was the only helpful thing I could offer. That it was the only way I’d ever be, like… a prince.” Kaito hesitated, glaring at her. Just waiting for something. He didn’t know. A look. A snicker. Fucking anything. Fuck her. Fuck her. He didn’t have to talk to her. He could still fucking fight her.

…but she didn’t do literally anything, and the anger drained out as fast as it had arrived. Kaito trembling and feeling defensive, but… “I don’t really know if that’s what happened. I’ve had some, uh, recent evidence that kinda supports the idea. Um…”

“When I was young– you remember Head Secretary Tengan, right? Course you do, he… hurt Kokichi. Or, no, I guess Secretary Chisa officially did it, but I’m convinced it was on his orders… anyway. He used to do these, like, tutoring sessions for me and my brother. He was meant to be teaching us how to be heirs. Future leaders. Essentially, he was my brothers mentor, and I was… also there. Um. They basically happened our whole childhood. Anyway, a lot of the sessions were about teaching Byakuya about how to lead people, either through persuasion or force or trickery. And I was a prop for a lot of those lessons. Byakuya testing the theories out on me, seeing how they worked in real time on a real person. Um. I guess technically I was learning them too. I don’t know. I zoned out through a lot of it. I just liked to pretend I was other places.”

“But, as I was getting older, like, seven or eight, I started doing these small tutoring sessions with just the Head Secretary? They were always short. And he used to tell me about how hard things were going to be for Byakuya, in life. That he was going to be stressed out, and surrounded by enemies, and people would hate him. That it was really, really hard to be the heir-apparent and king, and as his brother, and the second prince, I had an obligation to help him. Be a friend, a bodyguard, uh… safe place to vent. Keep his secrets, help him… destress…”

Kaito pressed his forehead into his arm. Again, he stared at Nao from the corner of his eyes. Waiting for anything. Anything that would make him stop. He shouldn’t be telling her this. He shouldn’t be telling anyone this.

(...it was nice to just… say it to someone though.)

“And I… started having these dreams? I have no idea how they started. I didn’t fucking know what sex was. It was just in my head. And I told Tengan about them, and he said that sometimes you can just… tell what people need. Said it was a type of empathy… oh.” Kaito’s eyes widened. Finally getting the joke. Huh. Fucker. “Uh, and… so I had these ideas and images in my head, and Byakuya was always so mad. He was so mad all the time… I just wanted him to stop being mad. Like I could just fix it.”

“I was like… eleven or something? We were in the middle of training, Byakuya was pissed about something, I couldn’t tell you what anymore. And Tengan excused himself, out of nowhere. He had never done that before. He just left. And I’m just sitting there watching Byakuya get more and more stressed out and angry…” Kaito started trembling harder, “And I told him I’d make him feel better. That I’d help.”

“He was so fucking angry when he realized what I was trying to do.” Kaito whispered. “He was so angry. He threw me into the damn table, getting me off of him. And when Tengan returned, Byakuya told him what had happened, and Tengan had said… well, if Kaito’s offering… a-and that’s when Byakuya accused Tengan of setting it up. Said Tengan had fucked with my head, that this was going too far. He dragged me to our parents, accusing him of putting the ideas in my head. M-my father called Tengan in, talked to all of us at once. Tengan said he had never suggested anything like that, that I was… attracted to Byakuya and had decided to act on my perversions. That Tengan had been trying to help me get over it and Byakuya had misunderstood what was happening. That Tengan needed more time to fix me. And dad asked me if it was true, that I had those thoughts in my head…”

… Kaito shrugged tiredly. “What could I say? It was true. Tengan had never said I should sleep with Byakuya, or give him fucking blows jobs to help destress him. I just… after awhile I thought that’s what I was supposed to do, ya know? I thought it’d help…”

Kaito trembled against the bench… and feeling far too sober now. Far too aware of everything that had just happened, he whispered, “...please don’t ever repeat that to anyone.”

Nao couldn’t say that she was stoic throughout it all. Wasn’t just a wall for Kaito to talk to. At the end of the day, she was still human, and it wasn’t the kind of story that you could just…take. 

Her eyes widened, frowns stretched and tightened, her whole body tensed, at one point…

But at the end…she could only let out a breath, dropping her head. “...I swear on my life. On my marriage. On everything…I won’t tell anyone, Kaito.”

“But…shit.” Huffing, Nao couldn’t sit still, and she uncrossed her legs, dropping them to the ground to lean forward bracing on her knees. “...we all could tell that that head secretary was a piece of work but…god. What a monster.”

And…in this case? Nao didn’t feel the twinge of hypocrisy. Even compared to her…that man was a monster. It wasn’t even taking a bad situation and making it worse because of your own pride, or even taking advantage of a bad situation. It was deliberately making that bad situation, and then blaming it on the victim while continuing to just…make it worse.

“...I’m so sorry Kaito… That’s…horrific. That never should’ve happened to you…”

There, though, she looked over at him with a tired look. “...I know I’m one to talk, but…from what you said… None of that was your fault. Even if he never explicitly said the words…from everything you said? He was telling you to do that. You were eleven. You were with someone who had authority over you. It wasn’t your fault. None of it.”

“...fucking…hope there’s a hell and he’s rotting in it…”

Kaito nodded, still trembling, but… letting out a little breath. Both relieved and regretting this. It was… nice to have someone hear it and not ask him what the fuck had been wrong with him. Because that’s still what he thought about it, sometimes. Objectively, he could see what had happened to him, but… but emotionally, it did feel like his fault. His parents had treated him differently, after that. Their crazy son, who talked to voices and couldn’t control his rage and had tried to fucking… force himself on his older brother. His father had basically stopped speaking to him after that. His mother keeping him at a distance. By the time it had come to renouncing his inheritance, his parents had seemed so resigned to it. Like it had been inevitable. Kaito unsalvageable.

It had been his greatest secret. That was the big thing. What his family had all told him. You never tell anyone what you tried to do. Even Byakuya had said that to him. Never tell anyone. No one would understand. People would look at him different. There’d be no fixing it.

Maybe that was why he could tell Nao. Because, if she looked at him like a perverted freak, not only dreaming about his brother, but attracted to him, to the point of having acted on it? To not have only offered himself, but having tried to basically spring it on his brother, like Byakuya would have been fine with it? Kaito was disgusting. But, well… so was Nao. So… if she judged him for it? Kind of… kettles and pots.

But as she reassured him that it wasn’t his fault, Kaito began to feel bad about that rationale. It was sick, and a betrayal to his family, to Shuichi, but… Kaito was having a hard time not seeing Nao as a person right now. A deeply flawed person who had still done something terrible to Shuichi, but… that no longer all she was, to him. That maybe her attempts to be better weren’t meaningless and not Kaito’s problem. That, like… maybe it wouldn’t be the literal… most horrifying thing to let Kokichi and Shuichi forgive her…

Without complaint, anyway. Not too much complaint anyway. Still a few complaints. That shit with Shuichi’s dick and ass was still really fucked up, even if Shuichi was part of the ‘scene’.

“Our trials are trials for a reason. If Atua is pleased, Tengan will have moments where the challenges feel all encompassing and overwhelming, and if there is any grace in him, he will earn it, should it take a thousand years.” Kaito half-quoted, his eyes glazing for a moment as he quoted the Good Book, and how it referenced trials for those who most deserved the consequences and least deserved paradise… before he looked a little sheepish, “At least, that’s what my religion says about all that. Hell’s a decent option too, if I’m honest. I don’t exactly love the guy.”

“... thank you. For agreeing to not tell anyone about that. And for the reassurance.” Kaito said softly, feeling the trembling ease out, his body settling. “... our crimes aren’t his. I have things to answer for too, that sometimes I wish people would hold me more accountable for. I wasn’t like you. I didn’t go out to punish myself when the world didn’t provide it. Maybe there’s something admirable in that, what you did… but you really hurt my partners. Both of them. Shuichi’s still really struggling with everything that happened. And Kokichi… he’s hurt.” 

“I think, one of the reasons I wanted to follow you? And confront you? Other than knowing that someday you probably will settle things with my partners… and other than being just kind of an aggressive asshole who delights in my own assholery? Is because when they both saw you, they ran. They couldn’t even be near you. And I hate that. My partners shouldn’t need to run from anything… so I followed you.” Kaito explained, feeling like he owed her an explanation now. Not content with just being the bad guy now. She was too real a person now for that. “My loyalty is to them. So long as you’re bad for them, I… I can’t be the first person to forgive you. So I can’t offer you that, it goes against my ideas of honor and duty. But… thank you for being kind in my weakness just now. I’m still allowed to thank you, at least.”

There were a lot of questionable things Nao had found out about the Atuan religion in Luminary, during the short time she had been asking around. But…the afterlife seemed kind. Nao wasn’t really sure what she personally believed what would happen after death, but…that really seemed too kind for some people. And if she was one of the people that ended up alongside them? So be it. Hopefully she would get to take her piece. 

“...the world still would’ve punished me. Maybe there would’ve been more justice in waiting around until it would…but I couldn’t stand myself, when it all came out. When it wasn’t some stupid big conspiracy I was holding together, and I could take a look… What I did to Shuuichi…it disgusts me. Knowing how willfully I had put another person through that kind of torture…” 

It had reminded her of things that Nao had thought she’d left behind. Things she had wanted to stay in the past. 

She sighed, looking over and giving Kaito a nod, though there was something…mildly surprised. She never thought Kaito would ever even want to forgive her someday. 

“I’ve done horrible things to your family, Kaito. To someone who needed help, and someone I loved. I don’t… None of that feels forgivable. In any fashion. I’m not expecting it to ever come.” 

Another sigh as she looked out into the dark horizon, blocked by trees. “...but that doesn’t mean I should stop trying to be better. If only to prevent any future mistakes. So…you’re welcome.”

…Kokichi had looked like he’d seen a ghost, when they ran into each other at that shop. She had barely been able to see him, for how quickly he’d run away. But she had still been able to see the pain on his face… She had no idea when Shuuichi had seen her. 

“...I’m not owed anything from them, from you, but…” Nao glanced over at Kaito, a pained frown on her face. “...they’re doing okay? And your daughter?”

“True, true, and true,” Kaito said, bringing up his legs and resting his chin against his knees, giving her a mildly exasperated look, “But… I think it’s just straight up denial to assume forgiveness isn’t coming. And, like, not even that particularly helpful denial. Fuck, I’ve wanted to kill you for, like, a year, and I still knew forgiveness was coming. Not just because that is literally both ‘Kichi and the castles MO, but also, like… we didn’t do vengeance.”

And Nao hadn't asked, but now that it was on his mind, Kaito frowned as he said, “Every Dicean I talk to about this stuff seems to have this idea in their head that I don’t understand how to live with people who have harmed me. Like, that forgiveness isn’t a Luminary concept. Because we believe in vengeance. And submission bows. And fighting it out. No one seems to be able to imagine what happens in Luminary when the submission bow is done, or the fight is over, or vengeance is fulfilled or officially given up. Sometimes? Vengeance is just getting the other person to leave. Chasing them out of town. But most of the time? You just… learn to live together again. You beat the shit of each other, someone wins, you move on. We don’t not believe in forgiveness, or live and let live. Our fights just… structure how it's all going to work. Who’s getting the most out of it.”

“I didn’t get vengeance on you. You’re still in the city. Maybe what will happen is you guys will never speak to each other again and that’s what will happen, but… I don’t know. That’s hard for me to imagine. Luminaries are confrontational. I’m confrontational. To me, closure is the confrontation. I just can’t imagine us getting over it without it. So you have to plan around it… sorry, you’re not really the person I want to say all that too. This is something me and Kokichi can’t seem to agree on. He thinks you’re going to disappear into the night and we’ll all never see or speak to you again, I think. I’m just… waiting for the confrontations again. I don’t know. I just assume it’s inevitable.”

“...they’re doing a lot better now.” Kaito decided to admit, looking over to her. “Life is better now. They’re healthier, Shuichi’s mentally in a better place, Kokichi’s been taking care of himself physically and hasn’t had an issue since Cedar… well, not a heart attack, anyway, a few little things, but they cleared up quickly and it was mostly stress based. Did you hear about all that Cedar shit by the way? You wanna talk about a fucking asshole… oh, Shuichi’s mentor, his, like… mothers? Basically? And Maki’s mentor, basically his uncle, they’re here, and I don’t know if they know about you, but if  a giant guy, a woman with purple hair, or a woman with blue hair and purple eyes confront you or seem to be following you, uh… stay with other people and maybe send word to the castle? I feel like if they were going to try anything they would have by now, but seriously, think ‘me and the desk leg’ but, like… by people who are actually competent. Emotional, dangerous, love Shuichi. Kay? Uh, and… our daughter is healthy and happy. She’s beautiful. And cute as fuck. She has Shuichi’s eyes and Kokichi’s hair, and at least as a fussy little baby, my entitled asshole attitude.” Kaito grinned, incredibly fond as he gushed, “She’s such a little baby jerk, I love her. We’re all doing good… you come up a lot. But even those conversations are getting less and less emotionally charged lately. Like, you still need to fucking make it up to them, but… they’re not miserable.”

Kaito searched her face, and suddenly asked, “Can I ask you something?”

“Maybe,” Nao sighed. “And maybe it’s less…denying it’ll ever happen and more just…me expressing that I don’t feel like I deserve to be forgiven. But I know that isn’t up to me.” 

She listened to Kaito describe vengeance in Luminary and…well, it was foreign. But not un-understandable. “It’s a big city,” she shrugged. “It is possible for two groups here to never meet…but considering today, it does still happen.” And they never registered a restraining order. Nao and Yasu had their home, Yasu had her practice and…it felt like trying to run from what she’d done, to leave. To go somewhere no one knew and get to avoid the consequences of her actions. Maybe that was selfish and self-flagelling too.

Looking over, Nao’s expression softened as Kaito described how his family was doing. Scoffing derisively at that woman Cedar--it had been impossible to avoid--taking Kaito’s warning seriously--matched the descriptions of the people Yasu had described Kaito intervening with--and then just…tentative love, hearing about Kokichi’s health, Shuuichi’s progress and…oh. Their little precocious one…

There was…a strange look on her face as he brought up that she was brought up but…well. It would happen. 

And…

Nao nodded. “Can’t promise I’ll have an answer, but I’ll try.”

“You knew I was going to kill you, right?” Kaito said, his eyes lit by the rising mood. Looking at her curiously, magenta gaze almost silver in the reflected moonlight. “I sent my family out, I broke the desk… I had no doubts in my mind. I was going to beat you to death. And you acted so… strangely. I still play it over in my mind. Kokichi… convinced me to stop, sure. But right until he said something, I was going to kill you.”

“Why did you react like that?” Kaito asked, so genuinely wanting to know, “You treated it like nothing was happening… what were you thinking?”

Nao sighed, stretching back over her knees. Quiet for a moment. “I knew.”

And then…she went quiet again. For a while, making it nearly seem like she wasn’t going to say anything else. 

“I keep turning it over in my head, trying to find the right phrasing that doesn’t…make it sound better than what it was. I didn’t realize until later you weren’t…really listening to me anymore. If I had, maybe I would’ve done something different. I just… I kept trying to make it stick, that the pollen…spores…poppy, whatever… It was killing Shuuichi. That if he was left to his own devices, he was going to end up killing himself… It was important to me that…if nothing else, whatever happened next, you knew that.”

“...I suppose it wouldn’t have the same impact in Luminary,” she murmured after a moment, “But there’s a quote from one of our first Oumas… ‘Go on, coward, you’ll only kill a man.’ There’s a social belief about murder… Killing is forever. There are all sorts of circumstances, and while people have various beliefs about justification…the idea that once there’s blood on your hands, it never comes off…it’s prevalent.”

“If you believed in it, you would kill me. And you would’ve, because you do,” she gave Kaito a nod. “I can’t say that I would’ve accepted it--in blind pain, there’s no telling. I probably would’ve fought back, treasuring my life. But…the end of my life would’ve been on your hands forever, and that was something you would’ve had to weigh against your decision.”

“Really, just…a total misunderstanding of our cultures.”

She was quiet for another moment before shrugging. “And panicking always makes it worse, in life or death situations. People get erratic or worried or annoyed… If you were going to kill me anyway, I had better things to do than flinch before anything had happened, or stutter words that meant nothing to me, and would’ve had a decent chance of provoking you more. I had information to get out. And I did.”

Kaito nodded, listening to this… before he groaned. Rubbing his eyes with his palms for a moment before huffing. “... man, even with you explaining it, it sounds insane to me. Ya know, I’ve been in situations where my life was threatened, but… it was always fights, you know? I was in danger, but I was too busy fighting back to process that.”

“But facing an opponent and just… standing there? No concept of help coming, no move to defend myself, no chance to plead my case? I wouldn’t be that composed. I know myself well enough… if I couldn’t fight for my survival, I’d beg for it. I’d scream. I’d be terrified. Fuck, I don’t want to die… I can’t conceptualize the idea, that getting some point across would matter to me, seconds before death. Unless that point is ‘fuck I dont wanna die’.” Kaito said dryly, something mildly amused in the admission, “That’s a hell of a culture thing. It seems insane to me. But, then, that wouldn’t be the first time the culture shock has been that for me… just, shocking. Damn…”

Kaito ruminated on all of that, fussing with his hands… before sighing. Resting his forehead on his knees and saying softly, “I feel so guilty for talking to you. I’m going to be such a mess going home tonight. I’m really not looking forward to it.”

Nao nodded vaguely. “I’ve met a lot of sickos in my life, and been one too. When you live in a society that taboos murder so vehemently…the people that are okay with it turn out real twisted. Against someone whose only goal is to see your terrified desperation? The only thing that might keep you alive is not giving it to them. It’s not a natural response. And you’re far from a serial killer…but I value my life enough to become unnatural. That sounds more right to me than saying there are things I value more than my life, even at the end.”

“You might find that response in some confrontations, but…not in blatant life or death. Or, not commonly. That’s just trauma.”

Nao stretched her legs out with a deep breath and looked over at Kaito. “And I feel like I’ve somehow gotten away with something. You wanna cuss me out before going home so we can both feel like we did something right?”

Then, she gave him a look. “You can get home alright on your own, right?”

“You have gotten away with something. I have a duty. I shouldn’t be just… chummy with the people who hurt my loved ones.” Kaito muttered, rubbing his forehead into his knees, “It probably won’t even, like… upset them, is the worst thing. I just know I’ve done something I consider wrong. And I just have to live with that. Ngh…”

“...fucking sounding Shuichi and then throwing every item around into his fucking ass until his god damn tailbone broke wasn’t safe or fucking sane, even if it was consensual. You’re a fucking bitch for doing that. If you ever start sleeping with people again, don’t ever fucking forget that that shit isn’t okay to do to fucking anyone.” Kaito snarled at her, “And he told me about everything else too. Even if my family forgives you and we all move on from this someday. That shit wasn’t okay. Don’t hurt people. You could have given him a concussion in the archive, which hurt like bastards, and seriously, you could have mutilated him that first night. It’s unacceptable. Never forget that… and also if you ever fucking talk to Shuichi again you better make it damn clear that the shit you said about him not deserving to be my friend because he couldn’t protect me from Tengan was fucking uncalled for. And apologize for calling him dirty. Even if he doesn’t bring it up, that shit stuck with him.”

“There… that’s me cursing you out.” Kaito muttered, closing his eyes. “...I don’t know. Yes? I don’t feel wasted. No ones probably going to attack me. The worst thats happened in a long time is, like, trash. I’ll probably be fine. I can handle trash. And walking in a straight line. I think.”

She hadn’t offered it idly. So while it wasn’t a shock, Nao’s gaze still went sad and shamed. The things she had done to Shuuichi were horrific for anyone, and…she knew she had only done it, escalating things, because of her own curiosity. Seeing what his body could do and what he begged for and deciding to experiment. 

People weren’t experiments. 

And…especially knowing more about Tengan now… It had been a leap to find exactly what would hurt most at the time, but…it was exceptionally cruel. If he ever let her, she would affirm that it was all lies. Every part. 

Letting out a breath after being berated, Nao nodded a bit before giving Kaito a worried look. “...trash? You catch the person that did it?”

“Nah. It doesn’t matter.” Kaito shrugged, putting his feet back down on the ground and leaning back on the back of the bench, leaning his head back and closing his eyes again. Mmm… spinny… “I can handle being insulted. Besides, you know the situation. With all the heat on you right now, what would you do if someone threw trash at you right now?”

“Well, mostly I just clean myself off,” Nao hummed, giving Kaito one last worried look. “But for you…you would be able to report that kind of stuff as hateful actions. So could I, technically, but you would probably actually get something done as a victim of ethnicism, rather than being a convicted sex offender.”

“Convicted?” Kaito peered at her now, “When?”

Nao raised an eyebrow at the younger man. “When I reported myself last fall. I didn’t put in Shuuichi’s name, if that’s what you all are worried about, but I submitted enough evidence with my testimony that I convinced the jury I wasn’t just making a story up through delusions. So I was put on the sex offenders list, put on the adoption ban list, I have a restraining order for schools for the next decade…what else… Mandatory therapy, which I was going to do anyway… Those are all the punishments by law. But it’s public knowledge, so while I can still get my groceries by law, most people are left to decide what they want to do about me.”

“Wild,” Kaito sighed, rubbing his forehead, “So, what? The trash thing like… common? That’s just what people do?”

“Used to be more so, but they really cracked down on littering laws,” Nao hummed. “Nowadays, when you see it…it’s more of some bullshit personal statement, like they’re calling you a compost bin. But…it is a hateful action that they can be arrested or get a penalty more, so it’s fairly rare, compared to just…being called names or refused service.”

“Shouldn’t have grown a conscious, man.” Kaito tutted, running his hand down his face before sighing, “My Shuichi wouldn’t have turned you in. Wouldn’t let me or Maki hurt you either. Could have walked off into the sunset. Happily evil ever after.”

“Besides… I’m not assuming anyone fucking with me is doing it because I’m a… shoot, what was it. Damn, I’ve forgotten… you know the slur for Luminaries? Naries! Right, no one’s fucking with me because I’m a Nary or whatever. Not unless the rest of my family are all hiding their own trash incidents. It’s just cause I’m a Momota. The one who ‘got away with it’. Walked away from the dumpster fire that was my home and got to walk off into the sunset, happily evil ever after.” Kaito mused… shrugging. “Who cares about some trash.”

“Sucks to suck, I guess,” she shrugged. “I won’t say I’ve always tried to be a good person, and I haven’t even always tried to be a nice one. But I hate myself for living in a delusion so…if I have to take punishment for being true? Then that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth.”

Nao watched Kaito for a moment before sighing. “Maybe. I know people are more endeared towards Shuuichi, ever since your daughter’s announcement, and…honestly I don’t think most people even know who Maki is. You’re just the right intersection of visible and not pitiable enough that people can put a spotlight on you for their anger towards Luminary. Still isn’t right, though.”

Getting up with a stretch, Nao didn’t offer Kaito a hand up, for both their sakes. “Alright, both our families are probably starting to worry by now. You gonna follow me home?”

“Yeah, word to the wise? ‘Right’ is, apparently, hugely subjective. I wouldn’t put much stock into it.” Kaito cautioned, humming happily as he relaxed into the bench, “Nah… I might take a nap here. Does it count as a nap if it’s nighttime?”

Waving his hand vaguely in Nao’s direction, he said, “Go~ tell your wife she needs more expensive shoes. I don’t care if those things she was wearing were broken in and comfy, they were so much cheaper than her suit. I was embarrassed for her, she can do better.”

Nao snorted, giving Kaito a vague wave in return. “We’ll see. Maybe there is a force on earth that can drag my wife clothes shopping. Goodnight, Kaito.”

…tell Shuuichi and Kokichi I’m sorry. That I hope they’ve been well. Give your daughter a big hug, and tell her how wonderful she is. 

Sigh. 

“Mm,” Kaito hummed, waving her off. Though he peeked his eyes open and watched her go… ngh. What a strange, stupid night. What had he just done…

Kaito groaned, thumping himself down on the bench. Curling his arms around his stomach, feeling himself lose the confident ‘Momota’ edge the longer she was gone. What had she said… that she thought it was interesting how he divided those parts of him? Prince Momota, the Conquerer. Luminary of the Stars, the Hero. Kaito Ouma Momota, the Husband who just… kept fucking up…

…… oh god, he just told Nao his fucking… biggest secret… oh god, he just spent a fucking hour getting chummy with Nao… what was her last name? He didn’t even know. Fuck, what was he going to do next, fuck Cedar? Suck Itch’s dick? Nnnnngh…

Kaito had enjoyed being an asshole. But the problem with being the asshole was exactly what she had said. It made it easier to bond with other assholes. But his family weren’t assholes… for the most part. And now he had to go home and…

Well, first he had to get up off this bench. And then he had to go home and deal with the consequences of it.

…maybe he could just go drink some more. 

Kaito sighed, sitting up and, with a grunt, standing up. Nah. He couldn’t do that. His break from reality was done. He had to go be ‘dad’ now. Gotta go take care of his family. Let’s go, Kaito. Don’t forget to check on Waku in the morning. Good husband, good father, good friend… okay! We got this! 

Kaito went home.

-

Honestly, Kokichi had been super psyched when Kaito told them! A pub evening out with Waku? They hadn’t had one in a bit, and especially with the cycles Kaito had been going through lately, going out with a friend to have a nice evening sounded incredible. And…hopefully not with Waku dropping some huge secret on Kaito, though Kokichi wasn’t really worried about that. He knew they had deep, serious talks sometimes, but…Waku was one of the most forthright people he knew. And they already theorized that she might be an Empath so…no surprises there. 

So, Kokichi was happy. 

And he had been all evening, eating dinner with Shuuichi, Ikuo, Lake, and Denji, Maki out with Tim and the girls, and the five of them getting a more secluded table so they could test bringing Miyako out at a busier time. He couldn’t say she liked it, but she seemed to get through it relatively well. 

No, it wasn’t until it was past ten, the sky firmly dark even in the long summer days, that Kokichi was starting to worry. And…he didn’t think it was her feeling that worry that was getting Miyako testy too. She seemed to take sitting against his chest with the window half open a decent enough compromise not to cry, but…well, the fact that they had been sitting there for a while and she wasn’t asleep yet was telling enough on its own. 

Humming softly to her, Kokichi’s voice cut off as his head whipped to the door, hearing the lock turn.

Alright, breathe… no weird… drunk Kaito. He wasn’t even drunk! What, drinking steadily for a few hours made you drunk? Pffff. In what world??

Kaito blinked the focus back into his gaze, took another breath, and walked in, looking around quickly before grinning at Kokichi. Aw. There they were… alright, so, his Shuichi was asleep, if that lump in the bed was any sign. A very handsome lump, no doubt.  And there was his stunning husband, sitting with his equally stunning daughter. Awwww… a still awake Miyako? What time was it? Uh oh. 

Giving Kokichi a sympathetic look and speaking softly, closing the door behind him, “Uh oh. Miyako having a fussy day?”

Kokichi let out a small sigh of relief, managing to give Kaito a smile before he gave a little surprised hum, adjusting his hold on his suddenly squirming daughter. “Oo-op. Aw, Mi-Mi…”

Swinging his legs out onto the ground, Kokichi lifted Miyako to go greet Kaito halfway. “Welcome home, hun… Yeah, we had the audacity to bring her downstairs to have dinner with my family, and then…well, I think she’s missed you… She’s refused to go to sleep since her after-dinner snack.”

Kokichi looked up at his husband, eyes quickly searching over him. “...how you feelin’? Did you have a good time with Waku-chan?”

Kaito chuckled lowly at this, leaning over to give Miyako a kiss against her forehead before giving Kokichi a quick kiss too, brushing her hair with his fingers a bit as she gave him a mildly confused look. “She missed me, huh? More like she takes after her daddy and misses her big ol’ heat pack. Isn’t that right, Miyaaaa? You and daddy sweet little heat-leaches? One more kiss for Big Heat and then dad’s gonna go swig some mouth wash, change my shirt. I probably smell like bar.”

Giving one more kiss to Miyako’s head and taking a moment to hug Kokichi and her both, Kaito murmured, “Okay, mouth wash. I can smell myself, that’s always a bad sign.”

Heading to the bathroom, Kaito called back, still softly, “Uh…” did he feel fine? He felt like he felt fine. Nervous. Still kind of rolling with that ‘post-bad decision’ regret. He knew it was just where his head went and it wasn’t actually what had happened, even metaphor wise, but he felt like he had just had a quickie and was dealing with the clarity of not being horny anymore but deeply regretting his horny choices. He had wanted to talk to someone about that stuff, since refusing Dr. Mariah and Kokichi. He had practically leapt at the first person that didn’t make him want to hide in the dirt with their, just… respectability and awesomeness. Someone at his own level. And had bore his damn soul to her.

If she was any other trashbag of a person, Kaito might not feel this much regret talking about it. But this was ‘Miss Nao’. He felt gross.

He could try swinging lying… if not about the incident itself, then about how he felt about it. Was Kokichi, uh… ‘listening’? Right now? Would he know Kaito was lying? Was Kaito lying? Did he feel fine?

“...I’ve been better.” Kaito settled on. Swigging some mouth wash, Kaito spat it out, taking off his shirt and throwing it in the laundry as he looked for something freser to put on, “Waku bailed on me. Not unexpected, she warned me she might. I’m going to check on her in the morning. If you don’t see me doing that would you remind me I’m going to do that? But, uh, yeah, I decided to stay out anyway… I hope that’s okay?” Kaito asked, putting on a simple shirt. 

Kokichi beamed into his kiss, and laughed softly as Miyako settled down, though she didn’t look any more content or impressed than she had earlier. Maybe some proper dad cuddle time would appease her the rest of the way, though. Hopefully to get some sleep, so she wouldn’t get mad at how tired she was. 

Though…hm. Kokichi would take Kaito’s words! But…he couldn’t exactly not feel the wave of trepidation coming from his husband. Nothing strong or dangerous, and Kokichi was likely only feeling it as a wave because of the fluctuations of his own power, but…still there. 

Following Kaito after he came out of the bathroom as he searched for a shirt, Kokichi hummed slightly. “Aw, dang. Yeah, I’ll remind you, if I remember. And totally, it’s more than fine if you ever wanna be out for a while, you know? We probably should each be doing it more than we have, honestly,” Kokichi chuckled softly, rubbing Miyako’s back. 

“...anything I can do to help? Or is just getting to sleep what’s gonna do you best right now?” Kokichi tilted his head slightly, glancing to the dark sky outside the window. “It is pretty late.”

“Miyako pushed us back to our old hermit habits, hm? I keep saying I’m going to go back to cooking classes…” Kaito sighed, shrugging. Easier to say you were going to do things then actually pulling it together enough to do it. He’d get back to it eventually. 

“Here, babe, let me take her. It’s supposed to be my shift anyway… come here, Miyaaaa~ why are we still awake, baby? Huh?” Kaito asked her, carefully taking her from Kokichi and resting her against his own chest, patting her bum a bit as he whispered to her, “It’s late, baby~ Miyaaaa~ Miyako, are you a little night owl now, huh? You know, little lamb is asleep by now. Don’t you want to be one of the cool kids like little lamb?”

Ahhhh, yes. There was that comforting smell and heat. Kaito’s body was designed for sleeping on. Could you blame Miyako for getting used to the heated blanket equivalent of a chest? Purple soft heat and blue food smell were nice enough resting places, but this was the good shit. 

Though, just to show him how displeased she was that he was late, she squirmed indigently for a moment before slapping his chest. “Oh, fussy baby, huh?” Kaito murmured to her, amused, patting her back and swaying slightly, “Dad’s sorry… such a fussy, sleepy baby… Miyaaaa~”

As he started the process of soothing her to sleep, Kaito gave Kokichi a small, uncertain look… before sighing, “...I… may have done something upsetting. I’m not sure yet. I’m really sorry if it’s upsetting. It was entirely my fault, but it kinda went further than I was intending it too…” stop being vague, Kaito. You’re drunk, not stupid, dancing around the topic is worst then just telling him. Glancing at the Shuichi lump, Kaito not trusting Shuichi to not just pretend to be asleep for his own convenience, Kaito said softly to Kokichi, “...I talked to Nao today.”

Kokichi easily passed Miyako over, though it wasn’t like he was going to immediately head to bed. Kaito had been drinking for one, and even if he wasn’t sloshed it was a better idea for a sober parent to be awake too. But even without feeling her intent, Kokichi knew that Miyako wanted nothing more than to settle into Kaito’s arms and show her disapproval that he should’ve been there sooner.

He snorted quietly at her squirming fussing, stretching as he watched on fondly as Kaito did what he did best. 

…and then something that came a little harder. 

…something upsetting? It wasn’t getting into a fight, Kokichi trusted Kaito, but…

For a moment, Kokichi just…stood there, almost not even able to process it. Kaito talked to Nao. “Oh…”

“...that’d make sense, that you’ve been better, then…”

The lump in his throat wasn’t all encompassing, but Kokichi still sighed around it. “...so…how… I mean…you’ve said how you are so…”

“How did it go?”

Kaito’s sickly feeling of guilt spread further as the look on Kokichi’s face. He wasn’t… sure how he expected Kokichi to react. In all honesty? Kaito had no idea how either Kokichi or Shuichi were going to react. Shuichi would understand why what Kaito had done was wrong, but he might be okay with it?? Because Shuichi himself wanted to talk to Nao??? Maybe? But as far as Kaito knew, or, could understand about Kokichi’s ideals, wasn’t talking to Nao a good thing? Or… maybe not… Kaito still didn’t really understand Dicean ethics. Maybe this was a betrayal in Dicean terms too. 

Either way he shouldn’t have done it. He should have let her leave. Everything else had just made this more complicated than it had to be.

Rubbing her back as she drifted off on Kaito’s chest, listening to the slightly heightened thumping of Kaito’s heart, Kaito sat down on the window seat, giving Kokichi an apologetic, uncertain look. “It went… weird? We, uh… she was at the bar. She was only there for like five minutes before she noticed me, uh, noticing her, and… she did try to leave. I, uh…” Kaito shifted uncomfortably, “I followed her. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking, I just… wanted to hassle her, I guess. Or, sort of, I was genuinely trying to talk to her. I offered her bread. I had bread so… it just seemed like the thing to do. Sorry I didn’t bring back any bread. Pub bread is always really good.”

“... I know that’s not an answer to your question. I just don’t know what I should tell you,” Kaito whispered, “She cut her hair? It looked a little uneven, I think she probably cut it herself. A stylist could probably even it out. It’s not a bad look on her, just… uneven.”

Not wanting to disturb Shuuichi--though his fiance could sleep through an evacuation drill--Kokichi followed Kaito over to the window seat, just…looking out the window as he nodded, listening to Kaito. Frowning a little at him following her to hassle her, a more complicated expression crossing over his face as he talked about her haircut. 

“...I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with short hair… It’d been long the entire time I knew her.” His whole life, practically. 

Kaito knew that he shouldn’t have gone to harass her…or…if he was trying to talk… 

Kokichi sighed. 

…Kaito didn’t call her ugly. 

He looked back over to his husband, just…looking a little tired. A little sad. “...did she apologize? Or…try to?”

At that, Kaito scoffed a little, “Like, an actual ‘apology’ apology? If she did, I missed it. But getting anyone to actually apologize is like pulling teeth. No, but… she did the second best thing, I guess, which was a lot of mocking herself and sounding like if she coulda stepped outside her own body and slapped herself, she’d have done it enthusiastically. A lot of, like, resigned self-hatred. She’s pretty convinced there’s no redeeming her and that she deserves, like, trash and me wanting to kill her and stuff… and she’s not wrong. It was honestly, just, great hearing her say it.” Kaito admitted, shrugging with a small little grin. Hearing little baby snuffles, Kaito stood back up, heading to the crib as he said, “But, like… she seems to have figured out how effed up all that stuff was, in more than just a ‘oh no, other people aren’t going to understand my genius and sacrifice’ kind of way. So… I dunno… fucking, shoot, sorry Miya… effing understanding why you’re an irredeamable trashbag is… like the first step to not actually being that, I think. It felt like a good step…”

Kaito was just rambling, speaking off the cuff… before he winced. Looking to Kokichi apologetically as he put Miyako down, placing little lamb next to her as he said, “Not that that’s my call. As far as I’m concerned, until she actually makes an effort with you two, I don’t give a… crud what personal steps she’s taking. I don’t care about her wellbeing. I care about yours… so I’m sorry I spoke to her without permission…”

…well, for Kaito, that probably was the next best thing. And…he could see how it might be in bad taste, if Nao apologized to Kaito before reaching out to Shuuichi. (Though…she had reached out to him. Just a little. An apology that…wasn’t enough. But was a step towards a real one.)

The guilt and self-hatred…Kokichi didn’t think that was good. But…maybe it was necessary. You couldn’t just…do what she did and be able to brush it off, and truly make headway into a proper apology, and proper atonement. Feeling the scope of that horror, even…if it did horrible things to you, though…he hoped not to put you in danger…and doing that was more making your guilt someone else’s problem too…

Kokichi sighed and rubbed one of his eyes before looking up at Kaito. “...you can talk to whoever you want, Kai-chan. You don’t need my permission for that…but I know what you mean. It…doesn’t feel like betrayal, for you to have talked with her. To have gotten some closure…least that’s what it sounds like. Honestly…I’m glad you got it…”

He sighed again and looked out the window. Thinking about the book of fairytales… 

“...I still don’t think I’m ready to talk to her myself…but I think it might be closing in on time.”

From the window, to the ground. His eyes straining to trace patterns in the carpet under their bed. “...I just…didn’t think she was…capable of something like that. I’ve known Nao my whole life, Kai-chan… And she… She was sarcastic, liked dark humor, laughed at my pranks, even when it just made more work for people…but she loved me. And I loved her… She taught me about content warnings, and how and why they’re used, and…made me feel powerful, instead of ashamed, when I used them… She’d tell me stories for hours about things she got up to in town, and would let me help when it got around time for designing the haunted house… She always thought my art was the coolest thing in the world…”

“I never thought she would hurt someone like that… But it’s not…separate from all the things I loved…” Kokichi whispered, his eyes wet. “...I don’t know if I can be comfortable with someone who could do that… But I don’t want to hate her for the rest of my life. I don’t want the thought of her to hurt for the rest of my life.”

Petting Miyako’s hair, Kaito watched her sweet sleeping face as he listened to his husband hurt. Once again, thinking of Nao as a ‘person’ left an ugly feeling in him, but… well, she was. More importantly, she was a very real person to Kokichi, and, like… probably needed to be a real person to Shuichi, who was just stuck with this weird, mostly imagined phantom in his life. 

Kaito wasn’t an idiot. Nao wasn’t going away. Maybe because Kaito was a step outside of it that he recognized that, as frustrating as it was. 

Maybe it was because Kaito was used to the villains in his life not going anywhere, and the second they all left, really had… no idea what to do with his feelings about it.

Hearing Kokichi’s throat tighten at that last bit, Kaito turned to him, giving a small, “Oh, ‘Kichi…” before heading over to him, drawing him into a hug and kissing at his head as murmured into his hairline, “... I’m sorry. I can’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t be hypocritical. But… what I believe in, and want for you, are different than… well, what’s realistic. What people are actually like.”

“And the reality is that…” Kaito sighed, leaning back and running his hand through Kokichi’s hair, giving him a tired look, “For the people we love, we’re willing to look past the worst sides of them. And man, the worst sides of them can get… so bad. I mean, you know. Sorry, you know. I’m not telling you anything new.” Kaito sighed, resting his head against him, “I’m sorry… but you know, the version of her you liked? Who was nice to you, and raised you? She’s still real too. You weren’t ‘fooled’ or anything. Some people just suck and don’t suck at the same time. Which sucks.”

Kokichi sniffled softly as he tucked himself into Kaito’s embrace, not fully crying, but dripping a few tears. He had already cried over her so much. They had already done this. And…well, they would probably do it again. 

“...yeah…” Kokichi tearfully sighed, pressing his forehead into Kaito’s neck. 

“...you know…I-I sit in on court. I read letters… I know how…impossible, it is sometimes, to leave a bad situation. All those people aren’t…stupid or cowardly or masochistic for staying…and I know I’m not better in any way that they aren’t. But it’s still so…different seeing it for yourself…”

“...Nekomaru was right, about some stuff, at least… Love makes you choose things that on paper are just…awful. But…that’s not a commendation of love, or human nature. It just…is. It’s how we live. The result of getting to make choices, and to feel the full spectrum of…everything.”

“It doesn’t make pain better, or something people shouldn’t strive to avoid, or resolve, or comfort through… But it means it’s going to be there. And it means that sometimes…we chose things that are…worse, but not for lack of having other options. And that doesn’t always mean it’s a bad decision…”

Kokichi sighed against his husband’s neck, strongly sniffling as his tears waned. “...sorry. It’s late.”

“...I’d talk to Shuu-chan about it too…and maybe all our answers will change over time, multiple times… But…how would it feel to you if I spoke to her? More than just…getting my apology.”

“...” 

Kaito tried to imagine it. Kokichi talking to Nao, giving her that sad, open little look he got on his face… it would eventually turn into Kokichi telling her good things. Reassuring her. Looking devastated as she talked down about herself. He knew that because that was what Kokichi had done with him. He knew what Kokichi looked like, forgiving someone who had done something terrible to him. 

It hurt Kaito to imagine. It made the anger come back, a little…

But. 

“I’ll be honest, Kokichi, if you talked to the Nao I knew briefly back last summer? I’d probably, I don’t know… actually I do know, I’d be miserable to be around because I’d be so damn upset about it. That woman was a monster, and worse than anything, didn’t fucking know it either… sorry, sorry, Miya.” Kaito whispered, the curse slipping out, the anger in his belly sparking at imagining it. Sighing, he held Kokichi tight, rubbing his back, “You talking to that Nao? Unacceptable. I’d have been so damn angry…”

“...but the one I talked to today? I don’t know, maybe I’m just drunk and sentimental.” Kaito huffed, “I reserve the right to be an emotional idiot later. Mostly because I can’t help it, your husband is a mess, like, 80% of the time lately. But… she… ugh, I don’t know. She makes me not want to actively kill her. Which is an improvement. And, like… if you guys ended up spending time together again, at least I could enjoy listening to her talk shit about herself. Crud. Crud. Sorry Miya.” Kaito said over his shoulder to the crib, before shrugging against Kokichi, “Like, seriously, I think the only person who hates Nao as much as I do is Nao. So, ya know… I’d have an ally, which would be fun.”

Kokichi snorted. “I mean, there’s a reason I never tried to reach out. I was so…mad and hurt that I didn’t even want to scream at her… That would’ve been giving her too much of a benefit… But now…”

The gift had been nice and thoughtful without being too pointed. The note had been simple without expecting anything. …Nao seemed to deeply, heatedly regret what she had done… Kaito didn’t want to kill her.

“That is an improvement…” Kokichi sighed, nosing against Kaito’s clavicle. “...I don’t even know if that would be something I’d want. I do want my apology, someday…and I want Shuu-chan to get his too, in whatever form he wants it. But beyond that…I don’t know. I just…don’t want to hate her forever. It’s exhausting.”

“I have a lot of other things I want to spend my energy on…like my wonderful husband who’s had a stressful night out at the pub, and is still thinking about being a good friend.” Gently, Kokichi kissed Kaito’s jaw. “I can finish out the first night shift, if you wanna take your meds and go to bed. Maybe feel rested a little earlier, so you can catch Waku, if she’s feeling better too.”

“Oh? You want to spend energy on me?” Kaito hummed happily, grinning down at him as he stole a little kiss back, “I don’t act like a murderous dickhead for one night, and suddenly my ‘Kichi wants to spend some energy on me? Scandalous, babe. I’m inebriated, you can’t take advantage of me like that~” 

Kaito knew Kokichi hadn’t meant it like that– Kokichi saying he wanted to be awake for the rest of the shift was a pretty big clue, if literally nothing else– but Kaito liked to tease. And he liked the way Kokichi felt against him as Kaito swayed a little, taking Kokichi’s hand and putting his other hand around his lower back, pulling Kokichi into an easy, slow little two-step. “My ‘Kichiiii~ who isn’t sleeeepyyyy~ and is such a sweeeeetyyyyy… let me tell Shuichi what happened myself tomorrow, please.” Kaito suddenly said seriously, sighing against Kokichi’s hair, “I don’t know if he’s going to be hurt or not. I just want to apologize myself when he finds out.”

Kokichi laughed softly, just shaking his head a little as Kaito pulled them into a dance. Simply having feelings towards people took energy. How much greatly depended on the person, and the kind of feelings, but…actively resenting or hating someone was tiring. Loving someone was tiring too, but a good kind of tiring. The kind that made you smile when you took a rest, as you would inevitably need. Not because things were going bad, or were tense, but just because…love took energy, and people needed time and space to recoup that energy, even for something they enjoyed. 

Swaying into the dance a little, Kokichi’s smile calmed. “I’ll let you, I promise. I won’t put you on a timer or anything ‘cause…that’s a little dumb, but I will be the one going down to get us breakfast, since Shuu-chan’ll just be going to sleep…or, more likely, will have been sleeping for a bit, since we’re not exactly getting up at dawn these days,” he snorted, “And you’ll be just getting up… But yeah. It happened to you so…you can tell him.”

“Thank you, ‘Kichi,” Kaito said softly, swaying with him. Smelling his hair… lavender. Mmmm, “...you sure you don’t want to take advantage of me, ‘Kichi? I’m all foggy headed and…” Kaito grinned, lowering his hand and squeeeezing Kokichi’s ass, “suggestable.”

Kokichi snorted softly and hugged Kaito close, humming lowly. “Yupp. And that’s exactly…” he tightened his arms around Kaito’s waist, sliding them down slightly to feel around his hips, “...why you should go to bed.”

Gently, he pressed a chaste kiss to Kaito’s shoulder. “Give your foggy mind a rest. Let your body heal from the day. Dream sweet dreams of playing Birdie with Miya to make up for her favorite dad being out a little later than she wanted. And think about all the delicious things I’ll bring up for breakfast, veggies and all, because while I love griddled batter, I’m invested in my husband and soon-to-be husband’s health.”

“Spoil-sport.” Kaito chuckled, sighing at the little touches. “And I’m not her favorite. She’s just a little heat-leach, like her daddy. Gotta take you both to the park, let you soak up the sun… but alright. Fiiiiine. You know, you make it very unrewarding to be drunk.”

Pulling back from Kokichi, but keeping hold of his hands, Kaito pulled him towards the bed as he grinned, “Tuck me in?”

“Nm,” Kokichi shook his head. “You’re her favorite dad, and I’m her favorite daddy. And Shuu-chan is her favorite dada, of course.” She was awfully fond of Kaito, though. It was a delight to feel. 

Letting himself be pulled to the bed, Kokichi raised an eyebrow. “I know you did mouthwash, but brush your teeth proper before going to sleep. And take your meds. Then I’ll tuck you in. Lullaby and all, if you want it.”

…he was trying to…be a little more comfortable singing around his partners. For Miya’s sake.

“Ugh, right. Don’t take the knock out drugs, Kaito’s gonna wake up in the middle of the night and wander around.” Kaito huffed, rolling his eyes at himself. Then, running his tongue over his teeth, he said, “But, you’re right about the teeth situation. Gotta get the gel out of my hair too.”

Leaning over to steal a kiss from Kokichi, Kaito grinned– somewhat blearily– at him as he said, “Yeah, little sing-song? Little ‘Kichi melody? What song are you gonna sing for me, beautiful?” Kaito asked, giving him another kiss before heading to the bathroom.

“You have been waking up better rested when you take them,” Kokichi said, not chidingly, since Kaito knew, but affirming it all the same. “And a lot of people take sleep aids for all sorts of reasons. A good night’s sleep is one of the most important parts of taking care of yourself.”

As was hygiene, if usually less pressing, but Kokichi was far from grossed out as he pressed into the stolen kiss, leaning himself by the open bedside to tuck Kaito in when he returned, as promised. 

“Mm, there’s a few Miya-Miya seems to like, when I’m trying to soothe and not entertain,” Kokichi hummed, internally batting at his embarrassment with a mental broom. “We can see if they pass the Kai-chan test of approval too.”

“Well, you know how difficult to impress I am.” Kaito called, letting the tablets dissolve before drinking them down, “So be sure to give it your all~”

Getting figured out for the night, Kaito half considered trying to find some pajamas before, shirt having done its job of smelling fresh enough to soothe Miyako to sleep done, he took it off and tossed it, tossing his pants and socks as well. He half considered losing his boxers, cause why the hell not, but left them on because he didn’t want to send the wrong message to Kokichi. If you were going to be a shameless flirt, you had to temper that out with being not a possibly expecting something shameless flirt.

Flopping into bed, Kaito winced as he remembered, “Sorry, Shuichi… Shuichi? Handsome?” Kaito whispered, leaning over to the lump and peaking under the covers… yep. Shuichi, in all his slightly drooly glory, still absolutely passed out. “Man, nothing wakes this guy up. Can you imagine?” Kaito whispered, blinking sleepily as he thumped backwards, looking up at Kokichi and grinning sloppily at him, “Did you pick a song?”

“Apparently the feeding alarm does,” Kokichi chuckled softly, getting a fond peek at their lover. But when Shuuichi had nothing pressing to be awake for? The guy was lost to unconsciousness. It was kind of envy-inducing, at times, and Kokichi thought that he did sleep pretty well when he actually tried to rest. 

Looking over Kaito with that same fond look, Kokichi hummed softly as he brought the covers over his husband, not tucking too tight, but making sure he was covered and comfortable. “Think so, yeah.”

“Come with me, my love, to the sea, the sea of love,” Kokichi ever so gently sang, his voice smooth and gentle. This wasn’t a song for his own expression--though his love certainly was an expression of its own. It was a song to lull, there but not intrusive. “I want to tell you, how much, I love you~”

Gently, Kokichi stroked Kaito’s quickly washed out hair off his forehead, his thumb softly stroking the middle as he hummed a soft interlude. “Do you remember, when we met, that’s the day, I knew you were my bet. I want to tell you, how much, I love you~”

“Come with me, to the sea, of love~”

Kaito grinned, watching lazily as Kokichi stroked his head, singing softly of the sea. Kaito had no real concept of it, but man, talk about appealing to multiple sides of himself. 

The tablets always hit so damn hard so quickly, and being drunk on top of it? Kaito could feel the pull immediately, struggling to keep his eyes open. But he tried to keep himself awake, enjoying the relatively rare treat of Kokichi singing. When his husband relaxed into it, he had such a sweet voice… it was just letting him relax. Which Kaito struggled to do, because Kokichi was too cute when he sang, and it made Kaito want to reach out and touch his legs gently and whisper, “You’re a man of many talents, did you know that… smart, decisive, determined… sexy as all hell… crazy powerful. Like, actually, insanely powerful… so cool. I’m so lucky… I love you, ‘Kichi…” Kaito murmured sleepily, barely thinking about what he was saying now, as he tried to haphazardly sing along, “c’m with me… to the sea… sweet ‘kichiii~”

And Kaito was out.

-

“...”

“...”

“....” Kaito looked uncomfortably over at the crib, “If you’re worried about being upset in front of her, she’s aslee–”

“Why did she talk to you?” Shuichi said. He said it like he was talking aloud to himself. His tone… incredulous.

“...I followed her.”

“So?” Shuichi asked, shooting a frustrated glance at Kaito, “She’s not exactly a pushover. What, did you ‘intimidate’ her?”

“... no. I think mostly I just piqued her interest acting like a weirdo.” Kaito said softly, shrugging at Shuichi, trying to not take any of this too personally. He hadn’t known how Shuichi was going to react. He was, honestly, not even sure what this reaction was. Just roll with it… “I just remembered a bunch of stuff you said about her, that she was an adrenaline junky, that she liked to dig into people, and just kinda… I wanted her to talk to me.”

“So she just did?”

“I want to apologize for talking to her out of turn, but I… Shuichi, handsome, I’m honestly struggling to follow where your thought process is, right now. Are you mad because she agreed to talk to me?”

“So, what, now you’re just good at head games?” Shuichi said, something ugly crossing his face, seething at Kaito as he said, “You want to talk to Nao, see her entirely randomly, and suddenly get everything you want out of her? Just like that?”

“...” Kaito’s gaze uncertainly searched Shuichi’s, looking for signs of what his fiance wanted from him. “...I didn’t get everything I wanted from her, and I didn’t, like, play a bunch of head games, beyond being annoying. I personally would have loved an apology, or, I don’t know, her to just be more miserable and skittish–”

“So what was she like? Cause you said she had regrets–”

“Well, sure, but that’s not the same–”

“And all YOU’VE ever wanted was for her to regret what she did, so yeah, it sounds like YOU got exactly what you want–”

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Kaito said softly but quickly, putting up his hands nervously, “I did, you’re right, I got what I wanted. She hates herself and I thought it was great. But, that’s not me needling or… succeeding or anything, she probably, thinking about it, right, she probably just said what she’d guess I wanted to hear to get me to back off, or to get a step back with the family or–”

“Oh, stop, Kaito.” Shuichi huffed, rolling his eyes, “You don’t have to make yourself sound like an idiot just because I’m mad you managed a step I’ve been agonizing over for months. On a whim. God, that’s just like you, you just decide you want something and it’s like the universe just hands it to you.”

Kaito gave Shuichi a slightly dry look, but didn’t argue. His fiance was in his feelings. Trying to argue against what he was saying would just be self-serving by this point, Shuichi would take it back when he wasn’t so upset. What was Dr. Mariah always saying? Deal with the perceived reality first, then work on it from there?

“...it was selfish of me to just decide to do that on my own.” Kaito softly agreed, lowering his eyes as Shuichi scoffed, “I knew you’ve been trying to muster up the courage to confront her. I shouldn’t have stepped ahead of you. I did it to satisfy my own needs to lash out and to sate my own curiosity. I should have considered you. I’m sorry.”

Shuichi rubbed his temple, closing his eyes, “...have you told Kokichi yet?”

“Yes. When I got home.”

“Alright… how did he take it?”

“He seemed troubled, but I think it was more just because he wasn’t ready to hear about Nao right then. He asked how it went.”

“How did it go?”

“I called her a self-centered asshole who uses sex to take advantage of people, and said what she did to you was dangerous and fucking stupid.” Kaito summarized… before shrugging, “She agreed. She said she was a monster. I… believed her. I don’t think she was just playing lip service.”

“Who cares.” Shuichi muttered to himself, before asking Kaito, “Anything else?”

“She asked how you are.”

“?”

“...I said you were doing well. That you’re in a good place these days… that all the stuff that happened still bothers you, though.”

Shuichi scoffed at that. ‘Bothered’. What a word for it… “...did she say how she was? Beyond the ‘monster’ thing.”

“I got the impression she’s been ostracized, or something. I don’t know if she’s got a new job or anything, but she talked like people weren’t talking to her. I guess she’s a homebody now. She said everyone knows she did something, but not to who. I don’t really know how much anyone knows, but the impression I got is people are getting their kicks treating her like garbage.”

Shuichi winced at that, and Kaito frowned. “...sorry.”

“You’re thrilled.”

“... I’m sorry.”

“Who cares.” Shuichi muttered to himself again. “Who cares… she’s just some idiot who got her jollies abusing me for a week and then went and told everyone about it. What do I care. How do you even help someone that stupid? If it wasn’t me, it’d have been something else. God, she’s so stupid… you didn’t attack her?”

“I swore I wouldn’t.”

“You didn’t do anything weird to her?”

“I followed her to a park, sat down and had a conversation, and we both talked about what a piece of shit she is.” Kaito said, keeping his face even.

Shuichi peered at him. “...you’re leaving something out.”

“...”

“Kaito.” 

“I’m just trying not to talk too much about how different she seemed.” Kaito lied, “She didn’t talk in that haughty, ‘try to keep up with me I’m about to spit fairytale metaphors’ thing she did, she didn’t seem to think the issue was everyone else misunderstanding what she was doing or just not appreciating how necessary it all was. She didn’t seem like some empty nightmare creature. She just seemed… like an idiot who regretted what she did. I don’t know. She was just different.”

“Probably a pretty different headspace, coming off a week of having your own personal play-thing and a year of everyone hating you.” Shuichi grumbled. “...I’m sorry. I’m being mean. To you, I mean. I don’t know how I feel. I’m so weirdly insulted. It’s insulting… I just don’t know if I could explain why.”

“It’s okay if you want to just take it out on me for awhile, I shouldn’t have done it–”

“Don’t, Kaito.” Shuichi sighed, giving him a tired look, “Don’t give me permission to do things like that. You and I both know I get far too tempted to take you up on it. I’m not going to be cruel to you just because I feel hurt that Nao spoke to you when you asked. I’ve never even asked to speak to her, but I’m hurt anyway. It’s irrational. But that’s just how I feel, and… that’s not really your fault. You did what you do best. You saw a path forward and just took it. That’s not a bad trait. I’m just upset it didn’t happen that way for me.”

-

O.O

(  O.O)

(O.O  )

O.O…?

The small chibi touched down into Kokichi’s mind with an eerie silence. Her small, nubby legs touching down into the brim of Kokichi’s consciousness with an effortless grace and weightlessness, not causing any ripples in his mind as she looked around. Wide, blue, eerily blank eyes blinked, and in the next moment they turned red, as did the creature itself. Her hair, simple dress and even the tint of her skin going from blue to red as she scuttled about, walking with quick but silent footsteps.

She moved, aimlessly, through Kokichi’s mind. Her movement was aimless, but not her intentions. She was supposed to find a specific memory. A memory of a contract. A piece of soul, broken and infused. If Amaina could find this memory? Senpai would be so pleased. 

Amaina was very, very good at being a tether that empaths couldn’t feel. It was what she had eventually been designed and trained to do, as a construct. Drop in, look around, leave without being noticed. However… like all constructs that were created through raw power rather then years of discipline? There were certain… ‘personality’ quirks. That could kind of ruin everything.

Amaina had never seen anything that looked like herself before. 

So when a small, redheaded Chibi peered down at her from atop a star, Amaina could only stare back.

(⊙,⊙)

O.O

(⊙,⊙)...

O.O…

……….(⋋▂⋌)♪♫♬!!!!

INTRUDER!!

In a very lucky turn, Kokichi had been out in the backlot of the castle, enjoying the sunny summer day from the immersed safety of the tree’s shade, reading one of the mystery novels he’d gotten Shuuichi and his fiance had been gracious enough to let him bring outside. Though Kokichi had gotten a small blanket to protect the binding from the ground, of course. 

And…it looked like the culprit of the Ravenhearst Manor Double Homicide would have to wait. 

Kokichi jolted, immediately closing the book and lying his head down beside it, making it look like he was taking a nap as he closed his eyes. 

That had been Chibi Kaito…not his circus. Someone had gotten past. 

Immediately Kokichi became ‘aware’ of space, not projecting himself just in case, though he ‘landed’ right where Chibi Kaito was, wanting to protect his construct. But what he saw…

Kokichi blinked, walking forward out of the void, bouncing slightly on the invisible platforms space was littered with, thankfully. That was…new. Definitely not his, so…

Kokichi narrowed his eyes, taking in the red chibi with wide eyes and twintails… curious…but it had invaded without permission, and getting through his defenses. Some good will had already been spent. 

Reaching out to hold the chibi, Kokichi felt the little construct, finding the signature that it came from. 

{Hey, I think you dropped something.}

{Oh god not again.}

Chibi Kaito glared suspiciously as the twin-tailed chibi, who was entirely silent but seemed to swing almost playfully in Kokichi’s grip, her blank expression never shifting in her swaying squirm. The tether was experimentally pulled at, trying to just sorta… yank her back. But when that didn’t work, after a moment, a feeling of pressure was felt through the tether. Not a true force put into it, but clearly a request to open up a portal where the tether led. Someone waiting to step through.

…there was…exasperation and embarrassment? Still didn’t mean they were in the clear, but…hmmm…

Still not safe enough to greet anyone in a “proper” part of his mind, and especially a space meant specifically for Chibi Kaito. Kokichi gave the chibi in his hands another considering look before he sighed. “You’re an odd little one, aren’t you.”

“Chibi Kai-chan, we’re gonna meet her friend in the lobby, you wanna come with?”

Knowing he’d just feel what his own construct wanted, Kokichi quickly shifted where they were to the entrance hall--not a true memory, and not a fully fleshed out defense, but much more like his circus than anything else. This was where people were met and greeted and…well, they’d already gotten past him once. 

Settled and after a quick check for holes, Kokichi sent back his consent, relaxing himself enough for an Empath to jump to him. 

The portal opened up, and a hassled, exasperated, and yes, embarrassed blond woman with with spiky hair and… horns?? On her head?? Stepped through, already looking like she was sweating as she sighed, resting her hands on her knees as she gasped at the exertion… before she looked up sheepishly at Kokichi. “This… isn’t what it looks like.”

(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ♪♬!! 

Chibi Kaito, now wearing his cape and crown, holding his sword and looking like the version of Kaito Kokichi had empowered against Tengan, leapt out from behind Kokichi, yelling valiantly as he swung at the invading Empath. He was ready this time! This wasn’t gonna be the big mean old woman part two! Chibi Kaito would defend his–gah!!

“Amaina! No! Bad, bad, get off him!” The woman sputtered, reaching over to drag her chibi off of Kokichi’s. 

Chibi Amaina had simply blinked when she saw Chibi Kaito attack, and in that moment her red version was gone from Kokichi’s hands, and a purple version of her was falling out of the sky, impacting with Chibi Kaito and the two splatting onto the ground. 

(  O.O)//(/ﾟДﾟ)/ ♪!!!

“I’m so sorry, she’s a terror.” The woman sighed, dragging her chibi off the other one, still sweating and breathing heavily as she pulled the chibi to her chest, before peering at Chibi Kaito, “...oh! Wow! Wow! Is this… is it a fusion construct too?” She asked Kokichi, standing up shakily and stepping back, giving Kokichi an astounded look as she said, “That’s impressive! It’s not every day you see that!”

Seeing--and feeling--how hassled she was, Kokichi’s expression started to soften towards the Empath that came to visit, but…

“Aag, Kai-chan!” Kokichi barely had a moment to register the other chibi--Amaina--disappearing from his hands as he turned to try and catch Chibi Kaito, only to watch in astonishment as Amaina just…fell from the sky like a brick. And, like the blond woman, Kokichi just shook his head and collected his own chibi, deciding to just hold Chibi Kaito to avoid him trying to act as the defense he wasn’t. 

Though, he gave a slightly flattered and sheepish look at the woman’s astonishment. “Yeah, he is… A friend of mine and I made him when I was first learning about memory retrieval… You can tell just by looking?” Well, and by feeling, he guessed. 

Shaking his head a little, Kokichi offered the woman a small smile. “I’m getting ahead of myself a little--I’m Kokichi, and this is Chibi Kai-chan. It…doesn’t seem like you mean harm, so…” He gave her a slightly concerned look. “...are you okay? We can sit down somewhere, if you want.”

“I’m okay.” The woman said shakily, rubbing the sweat off her forehead as she said, “Sorry, you know how projections are… sometimes you can’t help the metaphors. Though, ugh, I hate sweating in real life too, it sucks that my mental shortcuts brought it with me here.” The woman sighed.

O.O… u.u… ((u.u))

The small chibi held her empath, closing her eyes, and glowed out a small aura… and the woman sighed. Her trembling stopping and her sweat easing as she said, sounding a little stronger, “Thank you, Aimana… sorry, my name is Miku. Um, and I could say I was listening to his frequency,” Miku laughed sheepishly, before shrugging, “But, well… they’re the stereotypes, right? Small bodies, big eyes… who knows why fusion constructs just want to look like this, but it’s usually a good bet if you see a chibi, they’re a fusion between two empaths. Right?”

Taking a deep breath… Miku sighed, “Actually, if this is going to be a conversation? Which I totally understand, because this is sketchy as hell looking! Could we have it back in my mind? Bridging is pretty difficult for me. And your mindscape is pretty… thick. It’s pretty difficult to hold onto.” She admitted, looking around. 

ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ♪!!!

“...Sorry, what is he saying?” Miku asked.

u.u… O.O… OoO ~Bitch you don’t know shit~

(╬ ‾᷅皿‾᷄ ╬)!!!!!

“Armaina.” Miku sighed, “No… singing insults at people. Sorry, uh… sorry, you gave me your name… Kokichi! Sorry, Kokichi.”

Aw…that was cute. Amaina was…a reserve of power too? Or something like it…

“Oh…I’ve never seen another fusion. I wasn’t really sure why he came out looking like this…that’s really interesting, actually,” Kokichi hummed, taking a look at Chibi Kaito and…well, he was getting a little excited. This was an Empath that…was pretty strong and knew her way around concepts and experiments and…

He had wanted to get to know people in the community more. Especially after what Mikado and Shuuichi had argued about, if briefly. 

She didn’t seem like she was going to lure him into a trap… Back in his room, a bubble appeared, containing the situation currently happening and Miku’s signature. And nothing would give it away, but Chibi Kaito would suddenly know that if Kokichi wasn’t back in two hours? To get distressed enough to alert Alter Ego, and lead them to the bubble. 

Slight contingency. Just in case. 

But otherwise…he wanted to approach Miku in good faith. 

Snorting at Amaina’s taunt, Kokichi smoothed back Chibi Kaito’s hair affectionately, the spikes popping right back up, and tossed him up to float back to space. “Yeah, that’s okay with me. I’ll admit, I do want some answers, but…you seem like a good sort. Would you do the honors?”

“Thanks, and sure. Say goodbye to the other chibi, Amaina… Amaina that’s very rude.”

O.O凸

(╬凸ఠ༬ఠ)凸

Miku watched the red-headed chibi float away up into space, his and her chibis both flipping the bird at each other as she pulled up her portal. “Come on in.”

-

Miku’s ‘lobby’ was both simpler and stranger than everything else Kokichi had seen by this point. It was a white void, but filled with brightly colored furniture, bright colored shapes rotating through the void, and brightly colored disco balls… and the atmosphere could only be called Grooooovy. A distant but constant background music always playing as the shapes and colors danced around them. 

Looking immediately more at ease, Miku sat down in one of her large, bright colored, somewhat squishy sofas as her chibi immediately leapt from her arms and started dancing in place, getting it on with the music as Miku called, “Welcome~ do you eat imaginary refreshments? I can offer some imaginary refreshments. And sorry about the music, that’s just… not going to stop. Songs get stuck in my head.”

He didn’t always have a reason to do it casually, but one of Kokichi’s favorite things about visiting another Empath was getting to see their lobby. He could really get what Madam Yubaba meant about how presentation mattered. Maybe not for warding out enemies, but…for inviting people? It was very cool. A space of limitless creativity that Empaths just got to show off, if only within their own community. 

And Miku’s was no let down. Kokichi looked around in wonder, grinning at the groovy space, especially at the ultra saturated colors everywhere. And Amaina really had the right idea--Kokichi couldn’t help bobbing his head a little to the music. 

“Nah, it’s cool! Your lobby is cool!” he praised, taking a seat across from Miku. “Thank you for having me. If you’re up for making some imaginary iced tea or lemonade or something, I’d definitely partake. It’s on the warmer side, where my body is right now.”

Pleasantries were all well and nice, but…well, he did have questions. After they got settled, Kokichi gave Miku a slight, inquisitive smile. “So…you seemed a little surprised by it, but…your construct, Amaina… Was she looking for something from me? That’s…really impressive if you made a construct that can sneak into an Empath of its own creative volition to solve a problem you have.”

“Right… right!” Miku said, sitting up and glaring at the little dancing chibi. “Amaina! Amaina, we’ve talked about this, you can’t just… what were you doing?”

The chibi ignored her, still dancing in place. Miku glared at her, before sighing, giving Kokichi an embarrassed look, “I’m sorry, it’s… she’s gotten out of control. See, she’s actually mostly not mine. My…” Miku sighed, something soft on her face as she said, “My friend Amaine left her for me as a gift… to help bolster my abilities. I’m a pretty low-to-middling empath, power-wise, but Amaine? She was amazingly powerful… and her chibi seems to be under the impression that gives her certain liberties.”

Chibi Amaina continued to ignore her. Dancing cheerfully to the music. 

“...so, unfortunately, a good portion of her mental protocols is based on Amaina, and Amaina made her a little more complicated than I can really decipher.” Miku admitted, shrugging, “So sometimes she just… does stuff.”

…’was’. ‘Left me’. 

Oh. 

He didn’t really know what the situation was, but Kokichi still gave Miku a sympathetic look before looking over to the dancing chibi. “I see… Well, I can’t say it wasn’t pretty startling--I’ve been working a lot on my defenses over the past year, so something able to slip by…means I have a lot more work to do. But…if she was looking for something, depending on what it is, I may be able to just pass the knowledge onto you. Empaths gotta stick together, ya know?!”

Kokichi grinned at Miku, though…well, there were some things he couldn’t give over. But he could at least hear the request. 

“Right, that was Amaina’s specialty, I’m afraid. She considered herself a ‘tourist’ of minds.” Miku huffed, sitting up and leaning against her knees, saying sternly to the chibi, “Amaina! Amaina, come here.”

Spin, spin, spin~

“Amaina…” Miku huffed, before saying, somewhat sheepishly, “Amaina. If you keep ignoring me, Senpai’s going to ignore you right back.”

She stopped spinning. Staring at Miku.

“I mean it… for, like… a week.”

O.O… Q.Q! Nooooooo!

Miku rolled her eyes at Kokichi as the small chibi ran into her arms, leaping into the empaths lap and rubbing her face into Miku’s stomach. “There, there… but Kokichi here deserves to know what you were looking for. You were looking for something, right? We’ve talked about visiting random people, you have to get my approval first… it keeps her from getting restless, sometimes I just let her go explore random minds. Non-empaths who won’t know any better. I know it’s not a great system, but at least it means I know where she’s going.”

Adjusting Amaina to sit on her knees, gesturing to Kokichi, she said, “What were you doing in his head?”

O.O

“...were you looking for something specific?”

O.O

“...did you find what you were looking for?”

OoO ~That little red-headed idiot shouted and ruined eveeeryyyyythiiiiiiing!~

Miku patted the chibi’s back, giving Kokichi an exasperated look, “Sorry, give me a minute. I’ll get it out of her.”

So Miku was Dicean, then… Unless somehow there was another place that spoke Tradean, or had a word referring to a person that was the same. Cute as it all was, though, he was starting to see why Amaina was such a handful. Having a restless construct that you couldn’t control that constantly wanted to go look at other people? Well…all Empaths had their own set of morals. 

Shaking his head a little at the chibi’s antics, Kokichi just gave Miku an understanding smile. “I get it… Though, Chibi Kai-chan kinda is supposed to let me know if weird things are going on in my mind. If you’re gonna go play tourist in an Empath’s mind, you have to be aware of the consequences, ma’am,” Kokichi gently chided Amaina. “He was doing exactly what I’ve asked of him. You were the anomaly there.”

“...bet it was a little exciting, though. He has Chibi Kokichi to play with most of the time, but I think it’s different, seeing a real construct that’s like him.”

O.O

Miku gave her chibi a long, long look… before poking her cheek. “Amaina?”

~He called me an intruder and a sketchy weirdo!~

“You are both of those things, yes.” Miku said dryly, poking her cheek some more, “Come on. What were you looking for? You have to tell us.”

~I will sing it.~

“I, no. Don’t sing–”

~Shut up it is tiiiiiime!~

Amaina jumped off Miku’s lap, and rushing over to the coffee table in the center– which had had lemonade and cookies on it since Miku had offered refreshments– she leapt onto it, peering at nothing as she started to dance, the background music changing to match her tempo.

Senpai wanted the key/ To the storage unit thing/ but the big scary man took it awaaaaay~/ So senpai went looking/ And found a big lady/ who seemed to him night to daaaaaay~

“... oh my god. Amaina, this was years ago, we gave up on this before you were even made…”

But I danced between a weirdos stupid big hair/ and Amaina found a buried memory there/ of the man the day he disappeared~/ and in the babies mind with the teddy bear/ Maybe baby saw the keeeeeey~

The look on Kokichi’s face was simply charmed, listening to the little construct sing her quest…though, in the form of song, it was a little hard to parse. “...you need to get into a storage unit? I mean, you can usually just ask a blacksmith or the owners of the unit for a spare…” Kokichi mumbled, before he tried to think on the rest of the song. 

A scary man, a big lady, some…weirdo with big hair…and a baby with a teddy bear. 

Kokichi’s eyes squinted. “...are you talking about something from, like…fourteen years ago?”

Miku sighed, “It honestly doesn’t matter. This was something me and Amaina, uh… not her, ‘Real’ Amaina, were working on years ago.” Miku explained, waving her hand vaguely, before giving Kokichi her own squinty gaze, “...though, yes. I’m really sorry if this is going to be bringing up bad memories, I really hadn’t meant to go back to thinking about this. I was wondering about it idly, I don’t know… months ago. And Amaina here must have picked up on me thinking about it and just ran with it.”

“My friend, Amaina, she came from a rough family. Her father had this man who worked for him… big, scary guy. Had this sort of emptiness to him… anyway, Amaina’s father, along with sending him on ‘special jobs’, would have him run delivery jobs. The day this guy disappeared, he was given the key to one of the storage units her uncles owned. No idea which one, we’d have been able to figure it out if we had the key… Amaina really wanted to get into that storage unit. Amaina had all these really strong opinions about what her family did and…”

Miku huffed again, blowing her bangs out of her face, before shrugging, “It doesn’t matter anymore. Amaina was sickly. We couldn’t find the guy for a long time after that, Amaina’s health coming in and out and making it hard to focus, and by the time we found the woman who he became, Amaina had given up on it. She seemed like a different person, in a new life… we thought bringing up old memories would be unkind. So we let the key go. Amaina never even told me exactly what it was she was looking for. But she was the kind of woman who got passionate over random things and kept things close to the chest… I was used to it.” Miku smiled softly, “It was just nice to get caught up in her passion. When she could sustain it.”

That…

There were a few things, Kokichi knew about Katsuki’s past. When she turned herself in for breaking into his room with the intent to kill him, she hadn’t left it at that. The information she had given about her ‘employers’ wasn’t…all that thorough, but it was enough, combined with their other investigations into the LRG to crack down on a few more sects. 

And it wasn’t like Kokichi couldn’t imagine those people having families…he grew up with Waku, after all. It was just…unique, to see the other side of it like this. 

Gently, Kokichi offered up his condolences before he thought for a moment. “...I don’t want to pull you back into something you’ve moved past…and I don’t even know if Katsuki-chan would still have that key. But…if you want, I can ask her about it. Mail it out to you, if she does, or keep it in a lock box in the castle, if you wanna keep things more private.”

Tilting his head slightly, he gave the little Amaina an amused look. “Baby didn’t see the key, by the way. I’ve revisited that memory relatively recently and…I never noticed Katsuki-chan having anything but her clothes. Can’t imagine what use it’d have being out in that situation.”

“...” Miku seemed to consider this… before shaking her head. Ignoring Amaina’s pointed look as she said, “That’s not my world anymore. And the last decision about this person we made together? We decided to leave her alone. Maybe her little self here still likes to pull on strings,” Miku said, poking at Armaina’s cheek, “But, well, these little guys have a tough time not being little… impulsive, sketchy weirdos. Something about fusing together the base personalities of two different people. I’ve never heard of a fusion construct that wasn’t a little difficult to control…”

“But! Can’t stop trying to train them, right? So, no, Amaina. Just because you found a thread, doesn’t mean we’re following it. And you’re not going wandering for a while.”

Ó.Ó

“Glare at me all you want. Don’t want to be grounded? Stop being a nosy weirdo.”

“I respect your decisions, then,” Kokichi hummed, giving her a respectful nod. Even if there were things left unresolved, sometimes it was just better to put the past behind you. Even living with quite a few people who thought differently, Kokichi knew that that was sometimes the healthiest path forward. 

Laughing a bit at Amaina’s indignancy, Kokichi rolled his eyes a bit. “I get what you mean. Chibi Kai-chan hasn’t been intended to be an active defense in months, and that’s not even what he was made for originally, and…well, you saw him. All my friends have become accustomed to bracing for impact when they come visit me, considering there’s a little warrior-wannabe who knows full well they’re allowed to be there, but wants to fight anyway.”

“But…he’s my guy, you know,” Kokichi shrugged with a fond smile. “And he’s dang good at finding memories for me.”

“Yeah, he seemed like a little ball of energy. Actually, was I hearing it right, was he… making, like, little bell sounds?” Miku asked, raising an eyebrow, “Amaina here was designed to give me a power boost, let me do things beyond my capabilities. Essentially she’s more ‘raw potential’ for my empath abilities. But this weird singing thing she does? I didn’t tell her to do that, and Amaina, the real one, swore she hadn’t done it either. I’ve never heard of music being a stereotype of these things, it’s bizarre to me we both ended up with little musical fusion constructs.”

OoO ~I am not the same as that loud brute! I am delicate and sound preeeettyyyy~

“So your construct was a memory retrieval construct? Or, is one? Sounds practical. My dumb, extra butt decided to base my memory retrieval on music and record players and wow do I regret that. Word to the wise? Once you decide on a method, it’s really hard to train yourself out of it. Even when you realize what a hassle it is… oh!” Miku laughed at herself, shaking her head, “I guess not that I have to tell you that. If your mental lining was any indication? You’re a much stronger empath than I am. Thanks again for not being, uh… super mad at a part of my mind sneaking in. Ya know that saying ‘I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached’? Yeah. I’m the literal example of that.”

“Huh…that is interesting…” Kokichi hummed, before he nodded. “Yeah, he talks in bell sounds. When we first made him, not with the stability of a real construct, I could kind of understand the bells, but these days? No idea. I have to use intent if I want to know what he’s talking about…but other chibis can understand him perfectly fine, it seems.”

Smiling slightly, he explained, “Long story short? I was freaking out that I’d accidentally told my family about me before, like, actually telling them, you know? And my friend came and calmed me down and made all these cute little constructs to search for context about what I’d said, so we could check if I’d actually let the cat out of the bag. But my guy…” Kokichi sighed. “Well, he’s modeled after my husband, so it’s no wonder I got attached. He’s been around ever since.”

“And it’s alright, you didn’t mean any harm,” Kokichi waved Miku off, though he gave a more reproachful look to Amaina. “Though snooping around into people’s potential secrets isn’t exactly harmless. But…well…”

Kokichi gave Miku a sheepish look. “You felt so embarrassed when I reached out to you, so…it was hard to be mad at that. I mean…I try not to blow up at people being a little too familiar for my tastes, but I gotta be careful. But…”

“Hey, Amaina? When you’re not grounded…if you feel like you need to stretch your legs? I do have a very nice circus you might like to explore. Might not suit your nosy needs, but it is a bit safer than prying into other people.” Kokichi looked back up at Miku. “If that’s alright, of course.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, she’s such a pest I couldn’t let her–”

OoO ~Clearly he wants me to return to teach his own construct how to not suck so muuuuuuuuuch! I will oblige~

Miku gave Kokichi a dry look, “She’s going to be grounded for a while. But when she’s done acting like a little brat? I’ll reach out to you, sure. I could never manage making anything like her by myself, but the way people talk about really high powered constructs like this? I know it’s dangerous to consider them their own people, but, wow… do our brains go out of their way to give us that illusion, huh? I feel bad keeping her all cooped up. Giving her a friend–”

~He wishes he were my friend!~

“-- to visit would, if nothing else, let me stop projecting my own uncertainties on her.”

~Who is uncertain I am amaaaaziiiiing!~

Kokichi snorted a bit, but…he had a feeling Chibi Kaito would be able to wrangle her. If just by being a brat back. They were just extended parts of their respective Empaths, he knew, but…it was nice to treat them kindly. If he wanted to get more up his butt about it, it was another form of self-care and consideration. Not quite parenting his inner child, but…something close to it. 

“Really, I’d be happy to host some hang outs. And I know we’ve just met but…if you happen to find yourself in the capital? Don’t be a stranger! I enjoy meeting more people in the community.”

“...but I think I should be heading back soon,” Kokichi snorted. “I was firmly in the shade when I ‘left’ but I’m gonna be miserable if I end up with a sunburn… Thank you for having me over, and explaining all this. Especially when it’s something so personal.”

There was a moment, before Kokichi gave Miku a soft, considering look. “...Rememberance is coming up. Is…there anything I could do for your friend, to honor her memory? A favorite song, maybe?”

“The capital? Oh, I live a ways from you, then, I’m a coast girl.” Miku laughed… before her expression faltered. Eyes widening. “Oh. Kokichi.”

Miku stared at Kokichi, feeling a little bit like she was looking at a ghost… but then, that made sense, didn’t it. Actually the only reason her head hadn’t made the immediate connection was, just… it had all been such a long time ago now…

Should she say anything? What was there to say? Miku hadn’t been a part of it at all, she was just a friend of Amaina’s. And Amaina had been kept out of that side of her family’s affairs because of her weak constitution. It was still just… bizarre. 

Amaina would have thought it was funny.

“...She liked the song ‘Shun-ran’,” Miku grinned, giving a shrug, “If you think you can sing that fast? I’m sure the idea would have delighted her.”

The coast… Kokichi wondered if Miku lived by the little town they had stayed in. What a coincidence that would’ve been. 

Though they already had their coincidences. 

Feeling the realization as she said his name, Kokichi smiled kindly at the woman. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last. Wasn’t the first even for LRG folk, though it sounded like Miku was only barely tangentially related. It was an awful connection…but they had a new one now. 

Kokichi chuckled softly, after a moment of placing the song in his head. “Yeah? I’ll give it my best shot, then. It’s a heck of a catchy tune.”

“Take care, Miku. And Amaina, too.”

-

“...I’m just saying, ‘Kichi, you’re the one who’s always talking about sunscreen…”

“I knooooooow,” Kokichi groaned, half laid out on their bed as Kaito very graciously spread aloe lotion over his pink legs. “I put on some this morning! And I thought it’d be enough… I was gonna move with the shade! But I can’t control my body and do anything more than sending intent at the same time… It’s haaaaaard…”

Stretching to his side, Kokichi looked off the bed at Kaito with a pout. “...you’re not gonna make me walk downstairs for dinner, are you? My dear, loving, handsome, jacked husband?” 

“I see. Playing to my vanity… effective.” Kaito chuckled, giving his husband a small smirk, though he quickly trained his eyes back on Kokichi’s legs. The aloe helped a lot, but getting it on in the first place was always a delicate balance of quick and gentle. Having spread the aloe over his back legs, Kaito used Kokichi’s turn to get the far end of the stretch of pink, finishing up spreading the medicine. 

Idly wiping the rest of the aloe off on his own legs– it wouldn’t do anything for him, but whatever, it was basically its own sorta moisturizer, right?-- Kaito gave Kokichi’s hips a small pat as he said, “If I had any real strictness in me, I might just to remind you why you take care of your body before you go running off into daydream land. But… nah. Seriously, though, ‘Kichi, if that’s a thing you can practice? You have got to practice keeping an eye on the real world while you’re ‘away’. Your sweet, sexy booty can’t handle that kinda neglect, beautiful. Plus you’re just so pale naturally…”

Kokichi groaned softly again, wiggling his toes--thankfully he didn’t burn between them, that would’ve been a nightmare--before he sat up and leaned over to sneak in a kiss. “Thank you, hun…”

“I know, though,” he sighed, carefully turning over so he could stretch out on the bed without getting aloe on the sheets. “I’ve been trying to practice not, yanno, going all dreamy-eyed when I send intent, but, like, hopping and checking in on my own mind and all that? It’s like intent is stepping over a rope that’s on the ground, and that stuff if reverse high-speed double-dutch. I’ll get there one day…but it’ll be a while.”

“And I needed to check in right away,” Kokichi looked over, shrugged a bit. “If it really had been some jerk invading my mind? I can’t let that stand. Especially one that could bypass my lobby without me knowing.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty… alarming,” Kaito agreed with a frown, settling cross legged on the bed next to Kokichi and idly deciding to rub his stomach, “You’re going to talk to Alter Ego about that, right? I mean, the impression I got from what you told me was that that’s not a common ability, and, like… honestly it sounds like your little me found her construct pretty quickly anyway. But getting in at all is a pretty big deal, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna brainstorm a bit tonight,” Kokichi nodded, happily stretching himself out more for more belly rubs. “Between all that I learned originally about protecting myself, and then all the experimenting I did--and am doing--for Miya and Addie, I was…pretty confident in my defenses. The fact that she got in and I only found out through basically a fluke? That means I need to take a good look and everything I have in place.”

“Though, in fairness, that’s what her construct is made for,” he hummed. Miku hadn’t said as much, but…well, you had to try very hard not to place intent alongside your words when you were talking psychically. Talking about Amaina’s functions meant all her functions. “Made to sneak into even Empathetic minds without being detected. And…it seems like the sort of thing that only a pretty dang powerful Empath could manage--even with more than one person working on it.”

“...it was cool, hearing that they’re called ‘fusions’, and are kinda…known construct types. It’s always cool, learning about the things others in the community have figured out.”

Along with…well…

Maybe it was different, because Miku was clearly still alive. But…the power that the original Amaina had given, all that Chibi Amaina was, was…still there. Despite her having passed. Maybe that meant…when Hiro died then…maybe Alter Ego wouldn’t…

“Little, weird, toddler looking mind people.” Kaito mused, having seen an ‘image’ of the construct Kokichi had met. “You’re an odd people, ‘Kichi. But, alright. I trust you if you say you’re taking care of it. I know you’re doing a bunch of big, important projects with your empath stuff, but you come first babe. If not for your sake, then mine.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a soft look, putting his hand on top of his husband’s for a moment--though not to dissuade tummy rubs. “I know. I really did think the shade I was in would be enough. I’m prioritizing our family…and I’m a part of that. And, heck, I can’t even do any of those projects if I’m sick or hurt or just too tired to function. I have to take care of me so I can take care of others.”

“Heck yeah~ Our ‘Kichi stepping up,” Kaito grinned, giving Kokichi’s hand a small squeeze when his husband placed his hand there… before dutifully going back to tummy rubs.

Enjoying the silence for a moment, Miyako sleeping soundly today–thank goodness– and Shuichi hanging out with Maki, Kaito let his mind wander to whatever for awhile, thinking vaguely about getting dinner later, but, well, that didn’t need too much planning ahead of time… before he suddenly chuckled. “You remember when you were getting all those stomach aches, back when I first met you? What was up with that? My poor ‘Kichi needed constant stomach rubs. It was like you were going to explode some days.”

“I don’t even know,” Kokichi chuckled through a sigh. “My best theory is that I just wasn’t used to eating as regularly, so it felt like I was constantly over-eating… Except for that one day where Shuu-chan and I had that huge sweets binge. Definitely over-ate then.”

Sighing contently, Kokichi closed his eyes, just focusing in on the comforting affection over his midsection, and not the cooled stinging on his legs. “...I’m really happy with how I’ve settled into a food routine, these days. I feel like I’m eating good portions ‘n good food an’ all that. I know I like to complain about veggies, but…thanks for helping me with it. Seiko always seems approving of what and how I've been eating lately, when I have my check ups.”

“Aw, I barely ever have to poke you these days. Most of the time me scolding you is just for the fun of it, you’ve got this.” Kaito both admitted and reassured, deciding he felt like laying down next to Kokichi, running his hand soothing around Kokichi’s sides and stomach, resting his head against his other hand as he grinned cheerfully at his husband, “What’s the latest number? You look a little fuller, but admittedly, that could just be me seeing what I want to see.”

Kokichi glanced over at Kaito with a pleased, slightly bashful grin. “94. It’s slow-going, but…for me, it’s good progress, considering I was low-mid eighties after my attack… Keep doin’ squats and liftin’ babies and eat a full dinner? I might match my record soon.”

“...would it be too silly to celebrate when I break triple digits?”

“You kidding? Celebrating with a damn cake. All the cakes you want! We’re gonna get you to a healthy weight and then slide you right past that straight into obesity,” Kaito laughed, leaning over to steal a quick kiss, “That’s amazing though, babe, and you don’t have to explain to me it’s good. My damn heart broke seeing how much you were set back by Cedar…”

“... I’m sure I’ve said this already. But in case I didn’t, or I said it poorly, or whatever… I’m really sorry how much I pushed you into that.” Kaito said softly, digging his fingers gently into the muscles around Kokichi’s abdomen, massaging them, “I know it was me. I mean, you wanted it to be true too, but… you wanted it to be true because of how badly I wanted it to be true. And I basically bullied you into ignoring a ton of warning signs… I’m really sorry. I was wrong.”

Kokichi snorted, but pressed into the brief kiss, happier with the taste of Kaito than a cake right then. That was subject to change as it got closer to meal time though, naturally. Or if any cakes happened to come by. It wasn’t the best way to gain weight, but Kokichi would use any help he could get. 

Because…

He sighed, waiting a moment to brush off the immediate “no, me’s” he wanted to say. And, instead, Kokichi just looped an arm up to gently scratch his nails against the back of Kaito’s head. “Thank you…you have said it before. There were things that we ignored, that…you did push me to move past, when I was feeling unsure… It did contribute to me being more unwilling to keep talking about how I felt about some of the ‘treatments’.”

“But I wanted it to be true for me, too,” Kokichi said softly, his thumb tracing the shell of Kaito’s ear for a moment. “I wanted so badly for there to be a way…a way to a future where I never had to worry about my health like I do. That beyond colds or just what comes with aging I would be okay… I knew it was too good to be true but…I just wanted to hope. You might’ve been another voice of it, but…I was telling myself that this was just the dip before the rise all the time too.”

“We both should’ve been more skeptical. More willing to look at the situation for what it was…” A con. Just like every other miracle cure. 

Kokichi sighed, but smiled up at Kaito. “...but you were there with me for every step of recovery, even physically moving me for those steps in therapy… And I know you just…care about me. Want me to be healthy and happy. So…I forgive you, hun. We’ll just…try to be better critical thinkers next time.”

“Oooooh, critical thinking… not my strongest trait.” Kaito lightly teased himself, even if he felt a sick sense of regret for a moment. Kokichi had had doubts. And Kaito had basically scolded him for them. He had just… and it wasn’t fair to use this against his husband, but at the time, Kaito had just had memories of Kokichi’s distrust of healers still fresh in his mind then. So he had just hand-waved Kokichi’s doubts as, well… Kokichi not willing to give something that could help him an honest shot.

And that had been stupid. And incredibly unfair of Kaito. Kokichi wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t delusional… even if he had been at one point. The delusional part, not the stupid part. And, frankly, Kaito was still willing to argue that Kokichi hadn’t been delusional, had just… misunderstood! Like, to an… unfortunate degree.

Like, was it misunderstanding to the point of delusion? Eeeeeeh, maybe. Who was Kaito to make that call?

“But, thank you, Kokichi.” Kaito murmured, leaning over to kiss him, “I do care about you. And I want you happy and healthy. And I gotta trust you when you say things, and listen, and stuff.”

Kokichi lingered in the kiss, stroking his fingers down the back of Kaito’s neck. “It’s something we’re both working on…but I think we are getting better. I love you.”

-

“Your receptionist dipped out again.” Maki told Dr. Mariah as they all settled in.

“Only for a moment. I asked him to take his lunch earlier to be back for most of your session. Considering what happened last time, I thought ensuring having someone here to give a heads up the next time your mentors want to volunteer for pond-cleaning duty would be useful.” Dr. Mariah informed them, settling into her own chair… before smiling with eere brightness, “But they did an amazing job, didn’t they? Well, Kyoko and Neko did, I’m sorry to say your biological mother is very good at chatting and pretending to help while letting everyone else do all the work, Shuichi.”

“Well, I had to get it from somewhere.” Shuichi shrugged.

It wasn’t really that Kokichi wanted to encourage a crush he knew wasn’t going to go anywhere, but…he did feel bad that it was awkward to the point that Blair had been actively avoiding him. But if the receptionist just took lunch early and simply missed when they all came in, but was at work through their session? That seemed like a good compromise. 

And might help unexpected visitors. 

Kokichi snorted a bit, taking the time to admire the koi pond--it did look cleaner, though he wasn’t sure if he was just expecting it to--before heading to his seat. “I’m somehow both surprised and not that they actually cleaned it for you… You really have a grand presence, Dr. Mariah.”

“It was less challenging than you’d expect. I told them I was considering getting the guards involved, and the three of them just decided that it was less of a hassle just paying in form of the pond. They offered to pay for a session, but money is not an issue for me or them, so that wouldn’t have adequately conveyed to them how frustrating all of that was to me.” Dr. Mariah sighed, rubbing her temple… before giving them all a somewhat remorseful look as she said, “I want to apologize, for all of that. This shouldn’t be a place where things like that can happen. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a client that had a risk of harassment like that, I got complacent. I apologize.”

“It’s not your fault, we literally have our sessions behind a secret wall panel on the roof. And our mentors are… extra.” Shuichi sighed, rolling his eyes a little, “They like to make dramatic gestures.”

“Another thing we come by honestly, then.” Maki smirked.

There were a few genuinely well-kept secrets in the city, but...for everything else? Even if it wasn’t blatantly advertised, the mentors would find out. It was just the kind of people they were. And after Kaito had cut in, mentioning therapy, well…it was probably a no-brainer to cook something up like they did. It wasn’t a kind gesture, but it ended up being one that led to things that they probably really needed. 

Still, Kokichi gave their therapist an appreciative smile for the apology. This was supposed to be a safe, secure place for them. He still trusted her with their safety, but…well, he appreciated the apology. 

“...in that vein, is there more from that session you guys’d wanna talk about?” Kokichi posed to his friends. “Or get back to what we were talking about before they came up? I’m…not sure I have much more to say about what’s happened over the past week…”

“Actually, I think we should talk about what Shuichi wanted to talk about before we all got interrupted,” Kaito volunteered, shooting Shuichi a determined look, “That was important… you don’t feel safe talking around me, Shuichi?”

“Is that what I said?” Shuichi asked, running his hand through his hair– he hadn’t worn his hat in a while now– his cow-lick popping back up after he had smoothed it flat, “... it’s not that I don’t feel safe. That’s the wrong word. I just… you’ve been really struggling lately. And I feel like literally everything sets you off now, so I’m just always worried about the next ‘thing’.”

Kaito popped his knuckle joints, chewing on the inside of his lip a little, “...okay. So, I can… be less reactive. I can–”

“Now, hold on.” Dr. Mariah stepped in, sighing, “Wanting to improve is good, I’m not discouraging that. But promising to ‘react less’ to things as a blanket, un-examined statement can swing very swiftly from ‘being considerate’ to ‘unhealthy coping mechanisms’. It’s why when we discussed this with Kokichi it wasn’t just about him not reacting to things anymore, and if you’ll recall, Kokichi had already been working with his individual therapist for some time on the problem before it was brought up here. It’s not that easy.”

Kaito frowned at that, “I’ve been working on my reactions to things with Miss Crystal. I’ve been putting in work too.”

“That’s another reason why this needs more examination. Because you’re near a year into anger management, and now your fiance has concerns about your reactions. What does that suggest to you?”

“...” Kaito frowned, thinking about it… before looking to Shuichi. “Um, okay… Shuichi? What, uh… what reactions are you worried about? My anger?”

Shuichi actually seemed to hesitate a bit… before with more open pity than Kaito was entirely comfortable with, said, “You get really sad these days, Kaito… sometimes it looks like you’re barley keeping it together. You have this constant ‘the ceilings caving in’ energy to you… I just don’t want to make it worse.”

…damn, that was a circular question. Not a big one, but still. He could be better than that. 

However, Kokichi’s internal chastising didn’t last long as he listened to Shuuichi explain what he had been starting to the week before. Dr. Mariah intervened where Kokichi might’ve too--he and Kaito…er, briefly, or glancingly talked relatively recently still about how management wasn’t ‘suppression’ or ‘absence of’--so… 

Well. He could understand Shuuichi’s worries, but…

Kokichi thought for a moment before looking up at his fiance. “Please correct me, if I’m understanding incorrectly, but…it’s not just about Kai-chan’s behavior--you’re worried and uncomfortable because you don’t know what to do…yeah?”

“Though…yeah,” Kokichi sent an apologetic look to Kaito. “There are some days that are…just real ‘defeated’ days for you, it seems like. And…yanno, I get it. I can empathize from my depression, that some days are just gonna be sad…but you have had catalysts for being down. All of the mountains of shit over the past year? It…it makes a lot of sense to be sad and down about it all.”

“Right, that’s also part of it.” Shuichi sighed, waving his hand vaguely, sounding tired, “It really feels like, that… Kaito, you and I are both so different, now. I’m so frustrated, with how little I can do to lift your spirits, to make things normal again–”

“I don’t know if we’re ever going back to normal.” Maki interrupted. Kicking the ground a little to make her chair swing, staring at the blue sky, “I think that’s a pipe-dream.”

Dr. Mariah suddenly had a carefully curious expression on her face, looking between the three Luminaries. Maki had said that evenly, her expression idle… but taste among the Luminaries had all spiked at the same time. Not potential ‘crisis’ levels of anxiety, but absolutely a problem for at the very least the childhood friends of the group. Something that had been brewing for a while. Interesting…

But how to approach it… the truth was, Dr. Mariah hadn’t been very successful with any of the Luminaries about openly talking about their childhoods, shared or otherwise. They said a lot of things about their past, but there was this wall that the three of them had up, a wall of ‘the only people here who needs to know already knows’ that the three of them built up together. 

It was understandable, in a sense. Their shared history was literally on the far end of the west continent, and with it all the actual people who had been involved with them. A whole history that probably, to the three of them, felt inconsequential now. The most Dr. Mariah had ever gotten was Kaito talking about his individual sexual history, and Kaito always seemed to wear those stories like little patches of armor. If you wanted to know anything about him, he dressed it up in an erotic story and passed it over with a grin, presenting himself as an open book… with every non-lewd chapter of that book inexplicably black-lined out.

It was a great diversion method, Dr. Mariah could admit. But it was Kaito refusing to confess a bombshell like he had hinted at before that made Dr. Mariah really reflect on what the Luminaries actually discussed during therapy, and wow, did all of them dodge everything from before this year and their own, personal historical issues between the three of them with expert ease.

Kaito gave Kokichi a mildly hurt look. “Defeated? I’m not defeated…”

“You’re a little defeated. I think it’s a good word for it.” Maki shrugged.

Kaito shot her a glare, frowning, “It’s not. And of all people to accuse me of it, Maki–”

“I didn’t say it. Your husband did, to clarify what your fiance was hinting at.” Maki shrugged again, giving him a dry look as Kaito seethed at her, “Then I said it and now you’re pissed. So you’re right, saying it from me is rich, because you’re constantly willing to butt heads with me. But with these two?” Maki said, gesturing to Shuichi and Kokichi, “Defeated.”

“That is NOT what this is, and I swear to fucking ATUA if anyone fucking accuses me of kow-towing to my god damn husband again I’m g–”

Dr. Mariah hated to do it, because this was going to deflate him, but she called out, “Kaito. You’re overcompensating. Reverting from one bad coping mechanism to an older bad coping mechanism isn’t helpful.”

Kaito grit his teeth… before grabbing his rock from out of his pocket, his cleaner from out the other, and started furiously polishing. 

Kokichi had initially nodded with Maki’s statement, but immediately feeling the anxiety with…well, bits of other stuff, all muddled together from all of his family slowed his movement, urging him to sweep his gaze over each of them in concern. 

It was different for him. The outsider to the group, someone new to an already defined dynamic. But…his addition, and the events of the year…it wasn’t him just being added into the group of childhood friends. His addition, by the virtue of getting married to Kaito, meant the whole dynamic had changed. By being in a genuine romantic relationship with Kaito. And then to Shuuichi. And Kaito and Shuuichi together. And Shuuichi and Maki being free citizens. And Kaito and Maki being parents together. And Shuuichi, Kaito, and himself being parents together. 

Everything was different. And that wasn’t even going into the things that didn’t necessarily change their roles, but just…how they felt. 

It was reasonable to be afraid that the dynamic of love you once had would no longer be there…but it was an issue if you were so afraid of that that any indication of change terrified you. 

They had all changed. Kokichi, by the virtue of adding people to his life that he’d never had before, had to realize and embrace that change from the start. It was…harder for his friends and…he’d just never realized that before. That they hadn’t faced it. 

But what Kokichi wanted to get to first was…

Kokichi sighed softly and gave Kaito a gentle look. “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant by defeated. I never want to insinuate or even say that you’re deferring to me--we all know it isn’t true, and it’s just hurtful.”

“I meant that you have the feeling of being defeated against the world, hun,” Kokichi continued softly, his gaze saddening. “...so many people died this year. Were killed. You’ve had your worldview shattered on so many subjects. Things that you’ve always believed in as being inherent, and were rewarded for that belief, are now things that either don’t have sway, or would punish you. In a lot of those things…you never had a choice. And some people might say that you can’t lose if you never played the game, but…that’s bullshit. You were still hurt. You still were given consequences. You just…weren’t given the option to win, in a lot of cases and…that doesn’t feel any better, at the end of the day, when you look at what you have.”

“So…you being sad, and upset, and…feeling adrift or numb? None of that is weird. It’s the…natural response towards the hand you’ve been dealt.”

“On our end…that sucks to see,” Kokichi frowned. “Of course empathetically, because we love you, so if you’re hurt, that’s gonna hurt. But also because…as people that love you, we want to “make it better”. But there’s no quick fix, no band-aid to slap on that would mean that everything never happened. We can help make things more bearable, and even be the source for genuinely happy days. But it doesn’t mean that that sadness just…goes away. And that’s hard not to just…feel defeated against too.”

Kaito’s eyes darted up to Kokichi’s a few times through that, polishing his rock with a near effortless ease, his movements entirely muscle memory. His brow pinched, but… he let out a small sigh at all of that, feeling a little sheepish now as his anger ebbed away. “Sorry… I just… I’m not a victim. I’m not helpless. I’m tired of people talking about me like I am. I did have a choice… I made my own choices about things, the best I could. I could have always left, at any time. Anyone. Them, you guys… any time. I made my own choices.”

Kaito glanced at Shuichi and Maki, and said, “I know what that’s worth. I know what it looks like to not have a choice. That wasn’t me.”

Dr. Mariah looked between Kaito, Maki and Shuichi… “What about what Kokichi said, about consequences to ‘a game you didn’t play’? That’s a fairly loaded statement. You weren’t helpless to run off at any time you chose, certainly, but I think literally anyone would struggle with the idea of leaving everything behind and starting a new life, especially if it was only certain aspects of their life that they disagreed with. Many people feel ‘trapped’ in their lanes, so to speak. Life trajectories, even ones established before we were born, take a considerable amount of personal risk to divert. And all three of you, well, all four of you, honestly, have more controls and roadblocks in your life than the average person. For the most part, your lives were decided for you quite some time ago.”

Kaito frowned, “... you can’t compare Kokichi and I’s public pressures to what Maki and Shuichi went through.”

“We can speak for ourselves,” Maki said dryly, “...but, Kaito’s right. If we’re trying to suggest we were all in the same situation, then you don’t actually understand where Shuichi and I came from.”

Dr. Mariah shook her head, sighing, “No, no… I’m sorry, we’ve started talking about multiple things at once, which is confusing my point. Kokichi brought up that it’s difficult to see Kaito deal with the difficulties of the last year, many of which weren’t a result of his actions, but of things outside of his control, and the difficulty of not knowing how to help him with those issues. Then Kaito started discussing that things weren’t out of his control because he could leave at any time, comparing his situation to Maki and Shuichi, who, yes, I’m aware, had some severe psychological conditioning to specifically make escape exceptionally difficult for them to pursue. And then I was trying to discuss that all of you are in the similar situation of helping each other to cope with things that life has, essentially, done ‘to’ you. And how difficult it can be to not feel helpless in the face of grief and trauma that was outside of this groups personal control. Three different subjects, just similar enough to confuse things.”

“Oh… shoot, okay, what exactly are we talking about then?” Kaito asked, now looking more confused, “Cause we were talking about me needing to keep calm or–”

“Let’s discuss the word ‘defeated’.” Dr. Mariah decided, leaning back and looking to the whole group, “I think that might actually be the root of some miscommunication here. That word might mean different things to everyone here. Defeated, grieve, helplessness… understanding everyone’s thought process for these concepts might actually make it easier to keep you all on the same page.”

Especially since, as far as Dr. Mariah could tell, Maki had used the word in regards to relationships, Kaito had used it immediately thinking in terms of slavery, and Kokichi had used it in terms of trauma. Shuichi hadn’t clarified anything, so she started with him. “Shuichi…I’d like to do an exercise. If the group agrees.”

“What’s the exercise?” Shuichi sighed.

“...I want a personal example of a moment you were ‘defeated’. It doesn’t have to be your greatest defeat. Just one that sticks out to you.”

Shuichi frowned at that, reaching up to move his hat, before sighing, remembering, and pushing his bangs around instead, “What, like… my greatest failure?”

“Not your greatest anything. And no, it doesn’t have to be a failure. It’s whatever defeat means to you. Though, if being defeated also means you failed at something, to you, then you can use a failure as an example.”

Shuichi gave Dr. Mariah a somewhat dry look… before looking to the others, “Is anyone else going to share after me? I don’t want to start this off if we’re not all in.”

Kokichi listened to Kaito, but…he was confused. Talking about the choice of leaving…Kaito never had a chance to do anything, when it came to his parents’ murders, or the kidnapping of his friends. Of being drugged, or watching as his home tore itself in two. Kaito had never had a choice in any of those painful, excruciating things, so why…was he talking about that?

Though, as the group continued…Dr. Mariah nailed it. They were using the same words to describe different things and it just wasn’t translating. That…was a common trend, between them all, really. 

Nodding to the exercise, Kokichi gave Shuuichi a nod before…well, being very much himself. “I’ll share. I think it would be helpful to actually understand what we all mean, when we use, for example, the word defeated. But, uh…”

Kokichi gave Dr. Mariah a sheepish look. “I might not even understand what you mean in the question, because…’being’ defeated and ‘feeling’ defeated are…well, they can be pretty different things, to me. Should I just provide an example for both when it’s my turn?”

…because she had asked Shuuichi first, and Kokichi would trust she had a point in doing that.

“I believe, admittedly from a purely psychological standpoint, that it’s mildly fascinating how you consider ‘being’ and ‘feeling’ the concept of defeated to be different enough to both warrant their own stories.” Dr. Mariah admitted, smirking slightly, “You can give any examples you like with any clarifications you like, it’s all helpful in the goal of understanding each other… but I am personally interested in both examples because I am nosy. You don’t have too if you find yourself not wanting too by the time it’s your turn.”

“I don’t mind giving my example,” Maki said, though she glanced at Kokichi as she clarified, “Though, I might cherry pick between my stories with present company in mind. It won’t be my actual greatest defeats.”

Dr. Mariah sighed, “Said it twice now. Doesn’t have to be the ‘greatest’ version of it. Or the most impactful, or anything like that. It just has to be one that comes to mind for this particular question.”

“What if we give a really harmless example then?” Kaito asked, “Doesn’t that ruin the point?”

“Not at all. If you say you felt, or were, defeated because another child pushed you off a swingset once? That’s telling in its own right. That’s the thing about psychology. Anything you say, true or false, big or small, irrelevant, serious, silly or dismissive… it all says something about the person speaking. That’s what makes it fascinating.”

“See, why didn’t she just get a job like yours?” Kaito muttered, rolling his eyes, “Noooo… had to make it risky and weird–”

“Kaito.” Maki snapped, narrowing her eyes at him, “Seriously? Not now. Not that casually.”

Kaito winced, and Dr. Mariah raised an eyebrow, tapping against her journal. Okay… put a tab on that. They’d come back to that.

But, for now… “It seems we’re in agreement to do the exercise. Shuichi?”

“Defeat, hmm… my greatest–”

“I will literally throw you in the pond.” Dr. Mariah warned.

Shuichi smirked at her a bit, “--moment of defeat…”

Shuichi seemed to consider the question silently for a bit, and Dr. Mariah actually appreciated how seriously he was taking it… then she started to get more skeptical as Shuichi murmured ‘defeated’ to himself again… and then after another moment dryly asked, “Shuichi, you have had moments of defeat.”

“Oh, of course, of course, I’m not suggesting I don’t.” Shuichi sighed, shaking his head, “Apologies, I’m just trying to think of an example that I feel represents what defeat actually is. Because, I mean, obviously you could make an argument that, well… Nao defeated me… but I wasn’t exactly at my best when that happened… I feel like that shouldn’t entirely count. So, what else…”

“Head Secretary Tengan lured you into a trap.” Maki reminded him.

“Which we both survived. And I knew it was a trap when I went, it’s hardly a ‘defeat’.”

“What about that thing with Kaede?” Kaito asked.

Shuichi stiffened, “What about it?”

Kaito blinked, “Well, I mean… she really unraveled that whole thing with Haji, right? She figured out everything you were doing.”

“She… we agreed to share information about that when she brought to my attention his intentions.”

“So you were defeated by Haji, then?”

“I’m still here and he’s dead, so, no.”

“Okay, what about your conditioning sessions?” Maki tried, sighing tiredly, “I know I had some difficult days there.”

“My conditioning, for the most part, didn’t take.”

“That’s true, but still the individual moments…”

“Okay, what about that time Fuyuhiko and Peko managed to capture you and recruit you for their class project–”

“I just wanted a good grade, it didn’t matter who–”

Dr. Mariah watched the three of them, a flood of names and relationship dynamics she still had no idea about flooding over her as the three talked about them like they were natural. Things that probably mattered to them as a group, considering the other two were bringing them up in these terms. Again, an island of history among themselves.

Still… “Shuichi. You are not confident or even narcissistic enough to not have a moment of defeat come to mind for this question.” Dr. Mariah pried gently, giving him a stern look, “Is the example that came to mind so uncomfortable that you’re struggling to think around it?”

Shuichi stiffened at that… before saying softly, “I can give it, but I don’t want to go into the details.”

“Agreed.”

“... Miss Kirigiri used to say that as Indentured’s we were lucky. Because as Detectives, it was our literal jobs to hold people accountable. To stick our noses where they didn’t belong, and work our minds in a way that most of our peers were strictly forbidden to do. We had to be intelligent, and independent, and aggressive… and that despite who we were working for, we had real chances to do actual good for the world. Or at least our part of it. Sure, our targets might have leaned in certain directions based on who was ordering us to look into things, but the only way our form of intimidation and punishment worked was if someone had already done something wrong. We just went out and brought it into the light. That so long as we pursued the truth, above all else? We were truly fulfilling our purpose.”

“...she really filled my mind with those ideologies. I know she believed in them, genuinely, in a way I don’t anymore. And I… never felt defeated in cases, because we always got our guy. And I never felt defeated in my career or education, because I excelled. Socializing could be difficult, but…” Shuichi looked to Maki and Kaito, “I never really felt like I failed there either.”

Dr. Mariah wanted to remind Shuichi that defeat and failure weren’t the same thing, but it seemed clear in his mind that he had married the two ideas together. So she let him continue as he paused to collect his thoughts. 

“...but then the dark side of my career started to become more obvious to me. Times where myself and Miss Kirigiri weren’t just pushed to find something on someone, come hell or high water, but when they really were squeaky clean? When there was nothing to find? We just… lied. We made things up. It didn’t happen as often as you might imagine, very few people in Luminary are truly clean of all crimes, but I think how rarely we had to do it just made each moment of doing so just feel that much more… crushing. I disagree with Miss Kirigiri, in the sense that truths are the greatest thing there are. I’m personally an advocate that lies make a good deal of life quite a bit easier. But… to lie to make things worse? For good people? …I never felt more like a… well, like what you all call us,” Shuichi said, gesturing to Kokichi and Dr. Mariah, “I never felt less in control of my life, then when we had to do that. Less like a person. If the Indentured program had worked like it was supposed too, I wouldn’t have resented it so much. If I was literally just indentured into a career for a decade and then released? I liked the career I was forced into. I liked being a detective. It didn’t make me feel less than human. As a free man in Luminary, I probably would have done it, or something like it, for the rest of my life anyway…”

“But I didn’t like being used to hurt people. It weighed on me. Sometimes I could get out of it, sometimes Miss Kirigiri and I found workaround solutions, but… that just made it hurt worse when we couldn’t. When we failed to put it right… that’s when I felt defeated.”

Well, it was more like the groups of rectangles and squares. To be defeated, in not just a game sense, you needed to feel defeated. But…you didn’t necessarily have to be defeated to feel defeated. But…he could make that clear in his examples. 

It was true that the very nature of how you phrased things, or what you assumed from the things people said, said a ton about any given person. Every experience was personal, every point of view different, even if there would be huge overlaps depending on where and what you looked at. 

…that was why every person was fascinating…

Kokichi sighed a bit at Kaito’s grumbling, and just watched as Shuuichi tried to think up an example. And…brushed off all the other examples Maki and Kaito brought up. To the point, Kokichi was starting to think that Shuuichi’s meaning of defeat was that, at a point, there was literally no way forward, and that could be retroactively revoked. And…with that definition… Shuuichi was alive. He had made it past everything in his life, if not psychologically. So…he might never have been defeated…

But…

…it wasn’t a secret that Kokichi didn’t agree with the judicial system in Luminary. And even without going into the part that had defeated Shuuichi, the lies…even just nailing someone for a crime that had nothing to do with what you were investigating? Maybe it was just Kokichi underestimating what those crimes were, but…that seemed like a failure to ‘get your guy’ to him too. Just…throwing things at the wall until the person you wanted to nab could be pinned for something, regardless of the actual case. 

…not to mention that the tactics that Shuuichi had explained to him before…it was just a lie that they only worked on people that had something to hide.

But…having pride in something that, most of the time, you really did use and work towards helping people? And then living out being forced in that position to make things worse for some? …yeah. Kokichi could see the defeat in that. 

“...” Kokichi sighed, though the look in his eyes was thoughtful, rather than just depressed or empathizing. “...I think I understand, even if I can’t…quite distill that understanding into words. You have a lot of pride in being a detective… Not getting a choice at times to be used as a weapon, rather than an impartial arbiter, or deciding your own justice…I can understand the feeling in that.”

Shuichi nodded, looking a bit lighter to have gotten that out there, “Exactly… I guess if I had to define what ‘defeat’ means to me, since that is the point of the stories? It’s just being forced, or… no, yes. It’s being forced to act against my will. I know for you guys, that might seem like that should be the definition of my whole life, but…” Shuichi glanced at the others, before focusing on Kaito, who gave him a tired look back as Shuichi explained, “That just wasn’t how I felt. Maybe that’s delusional, but Miss Kirigiri didn’t raise me to feel helpless to my situation. So long as I was in a career I could believe in, pursuing goals that I agreed with? I didn’t feel like the world had defeated me. I was just waiting out my timer, doing the best I could for my situation. I only felt helpless being forced to lie to hurt an innocent person. Otherwise… I was succeeding.”

“If I might summarize? Just to make certain I’m understanding you?” Dr. Mariah said, getting Shuichi’s attention, who nodded, “Defeat does equal failure in your mind, yes? And you’ve lived an exceptionally accomplished life, even for your situation. So it’s understandable that you may not have too many moments in your life to be considered examples, at least examples where you weren’t inebriated–”

Shuichi tensed, before admitting, “I suppose deciding to take the poppies in the first place was a defeat too, but… I didn’t feel that way. I get ashamed at where all of that led, but… all of that was so far out of my control…”

“That was going to be my second point. Defeat, and failure, it seems, both seemed to be linked in your mind to an idea of ‘helplessness’. When things get entirely out of your control.  To be defeated is to be helpless to change the situation?”

Shuichi frowned, “... no, that doesn’t feel quite right. Not being able to change situations is common, it’s not a personal failure to be unable to change something. No, to… be defeated is to be forced to do something against something that actually matters to you. Something you tried to change and couldn’t anyway.”

Dr. Mariah’s eyes suddenly lit with understanding, “Defeat and failure in your mind are the same thing, because to be defeated you have to actually be willing to try.”

Shuichi nodded, “Yes, that’s it. If something bad happens to you but you weren’t willing to actually try to make it better anyway? That’s not defeat. That’s just… choosing to take the easier option. It can be ugly, and painful, but you weren’t defeated. You didn’t try.”

It wasn’t even just for ‘bad’ situations. For a lot of people? They tended to find comfort in just…whatever situation they grew up in. Not even ones they necessarily were born in, but generally just…whatever was going on when they had the biggest points of growth into the person they now were. Despite what Sayaka put him through, despite what being in the program meant socially, for the most part…Shuuichi had been satisfied with his lot in life. He took pride and enjoyed his work, he had wonderful friends, and his physical needs were being met. For what he had been able to affect around him, it wasn’t a bad life. 

Kokichi knew he could just…lose sight of that sometimes, learning about all the circumstances around that. 

But…his friends had been happy. 

As Dr. Mariah made the connection, Kokichi lit up with understanding as well, letting out a soft hum. That…certainly could be the case for personal defeat--his understanding, anyway. But, to Shuuichi…defeat was failing and something you genuinely tried to make happen. 

Okay… 

He had already gotten the sense from the very start of this conversation, but…well. Kokichi had a…an almost embarrassed sense that his ideas of defeat were going to look very foreign to his family. But that was why they were talking about this. It wasn’t arguing what defeat actually was--it was creating a conceptual key for what they all used that word for. 

Kaito gave Shuichi a curious look at that. For a moment there, he had found himself nodding along with Shuichi, unsurprised how similar their viewpoints were… but Dr. Mariah’s final summarization of it, and Shuichi’s agreement, had been where they had lost Kaito. The first summary? Made total sense. The second… just didn’t feel quite as right. Huh.

Maki just hummed slightly. Watching all of this curiously.

As they all just kind of hummed and nodded in, if not personal understanding, then comprehension, Kokichi took a breath, figuring it was his turn. 

“Uh, well… For being defeated…” he started, tilting his head for a moment, not having wanted to distract himself thinking of examples as Shuuichi was talking, “I have a lot to choose from. Basically any time I tried to plead my case for being allowed for freedoms and just…being shot down. Whether from my own misunderstanding, or theirs… There was one time I hadn’t been able to make it to any festival all year…and then the one time I could, there was a storm, so it was delayed, and I couldn’t make it to the reschedule…”

Kokichi thought for another moment. “...actually, it’s a lot easier to think of things where I felt defeated. Cedar, for one… Just having to face, again, though I thought I’d already learned that lesson, that there really isn’t just…going to be a cure for me. And…” Kokichi frowned more… “When Kai-chan told me more about the war from Luminary’s side…what would’ve happened to Dicea. And then thinking about every name in those…damn letters, and every person they left behind…there was just…no winning.”

“...the Brockmans,” he said simply. 

“And sometimes just…randomly,” Kokichi sighed. “Not all my bad days had an anxious spin to them. Sometimes instead of not feeling like I could live up to expectations, it was more…what was the point of trying? We’re all gonna die some day anyway, and…while it revs me up most of the time, sometimes the reality that my work as a leader will never be done? That there’s no possible way to make everyone happy just…it’s draining. It makes it hard to want to try, when I barely have the energy to get out of bed. Rare these days, but still.”

Dr. Mariah nodded, tilting her head slightly as she tapped against her journal… “I see. Phew, sometimes I forget how busy your year was. If you all are feeling particularly defeated this year, it’s more than understandable, regardless of how you define it.”

“But– and I only ask because the distinction seemed important to you– may I ask what the difference between being denied the festivals when you were younger, and, say, the incident with Cedar?”’

“You mean beside the fact that that crazy bitch almost killed him?” Kaito asked dryly, giving Dr. Mariah a pointed look, “Cause the difference between his examples seem really obvious to me.”

“Honestly? If I was talking about the same thing, but before I’d started therapy? I probably would’ve defined it more as being defeated,” Kokichi shrugged tiredly. “It’s a little like Shuu-chan’s definition, that, to be defeated, I would’ve had to have done something. Put my efforts towards some purpose. But…the purpose I was working towards with Cedar was…getting healthy. Getting to a point where I wouldn’t be an at risk person anymore.”

“But though it sounds like the same thing…still being disabled isn’t what hurt. I’ve been disabled my whole life… Sure it’s caused me pain and anguish, but…it’s not something to be ashamed of, or caused by personal failure. I have medical issues. That’s just…my body.”

Kokichi sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. “The thing that hurt was hoping, again, that I’d be cured…and then having that hope dashed. It was nothing to do with my own efforts, and…though there were security things I could’ve succeeded on? Acting like it’s my fault that she preyed on me is unhelpful at best, and actively detrimental to my mental health otherwise. Having someone take advantage of you isn’t a personal defeat, it’s just cruelty on their part. So…I wasn’t defeated, as an action, but I felt defeated, in my loss of hope. If that makes sense… It’s a pretty small difference, all things said.”

“Communication is in the details.” Dr. Mariah reminded him, brushing her hair off her shoulder a bit, “Knowing Shuichi feels defeated when he puts effort into something and is forced to act against his will rather then simply giving into an order without any pushback is a small detail, but it reconceptualizes how one can view his entire history. The same is for all of you. The small details matter.”

“And, for small details, I still am not sure we’ve found the connecting thread for you, Kokichi. The Cedar incident, while a good, recent example of feeling defeated, was only one incident among many that you listed, with largely difference circumstances. In fact…” Dr. Mariah tilted her head, idly tapping her journal, “... I asked for single story examples, and you responded with… seven examples. All in a row. That in itself? Is telling…”

 Dr. Mariah was trying to think of how to word this correctly, but it was Kaito’s eyes who suddenly widened, looking over to Kokichi. “Babe… have you felt defeated this entire year?”

Kokichi looked a bit embarrassed, honestly. Going into a story likely would provide more clarity about what he actually meant, but…he’d kinda picked examples as a way to explain the difference between ‘being’ and ‘feeling’ and had gotten hung up on that…and he still wasn’t really sure if he’d even managed to explain that well. 

But at Kaito’s question, Kokichi just…kind of looked at him tiredly. 

“I mean, not continuously. That would be ridiculous, and there’ve been a lot of things I’ve been really proud of. But…” Kokichi shrugged with a small smile. “Kinda, yeah. Almost two years ago I was told I was signing my life away to someone who would take away the one thing I was truly proud of in exchange for my people’s lives and safety…and then even finding out that wasn’t true, there was just…disaster after disaster that kept hitting us. It’s…really hard to keep optimistic through all that. Especially for the things that really were my fault, and didn’t just happen to me, or to you guys.”

Looking down to the pond, Kokichi took a breath, his voice growing a little softer. “...some days? Not frequently, especially these days…but still some days, over the past year…it felt like…everything was a never-ending crisis. And when I could make choices, all the things I chose turned out to be the wrong thing. And…it felt like horrible things were just…never going to stop. And nothing I believed in would help.”

“...still gotta try, of course,” Kokichi sighed, though even his tone there sounded more defeated than the determination people usually said those things with. “Nothing has even the chance to change if you don’t try. And I love you guys too much to ever give up on you. But on days where all those things hit me…trying feels more like just going through the motions, than really believing that there’s the potential for better things on the other side.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a slightly bewildered look, “... but you handled it all so well.”

It was Shuichi, actually, who gave Kaito an open ‘wtf’ look at that, as he looked like he was on the cusp of saying something sarcastic… before swallowing it and, reminding himself he was trying to be less callous, gently reminded Kaito, “Kokichi has… stressed based heart attacks. And he’s had, I believe… four? Since we’ve met him. You can’t actually be saying you thought Kokichi was unaffected by everything that was happening?”

“Well, sure, stress based, yeah, but that was like, ya know… I mean, stress is a different thing than being defeated. It’s a different emotion.”

Shuichi’s brows furrowed at this, “...no? Not really? You can’t feel one without the other. Stress is a part of it?”

“No.” Kaito said, like Shuichi was speaking absolute nonsense, while Maki seemed to consider what Shuichi was saying as well, raising an eyebrow at him. 

Dr. Mariah hummed, “...we do know that Kaito feels emotions much more physically than Kokichi and… perhaps Shuichi do? Maybe the difference in how those two things feel is more obvious to him.”

“Actually,” Maki said, leaning forward, “I know we’re still defining Kokichi’s idea of defeat, but can I offer my own example? I feel like I agree with Kaito. I’m also a little surprised Kokichi’s felt defeated this last year. If you don’t mind me chiming in, Kokichi?” Maki asked, looking to Kokichi.

For a moment, Kokichi just stared at Kaito, despite having heard his husband say similar things in the past. “...I haven’t. Just because my responses to trauma and horror tend to be things more like…crying? Or being quiet? Doesn’t mean I’ve handled it in a healthy way. And even worse are the times where I’ve been actively suicidal in front of you, hun. That…isn’t doing well.”

Kokichi didn’t entirely agree that defeat and stress were inexorably linked, but…in a lot of cases, stress was a precursor to defeat. The defeat was just…failing to handle stress, or the stressful thing well.

Looking over to Maki, Kokichi nodded gently. “Please.”

Kaito winced at the ‘actively suicidal’ comment, though there was an intense feeling of ‘No, see, that was different’... but he didn’t know where that refusal was actually coming from. Or, even if he was the person who could even comment on something like that. He hadn’t understood why Kokichi was suicidal. Why some incidents had nearly killed his husband and others he seemed to just sort of brush off. Worse than that, he had barely wanted to think about it much… if he didn’t understand, it was because he hadn’t made an effort to understand. Had just wanted to pull Kokichi as fucking far from that cliff as possible… he had handled the Shuichi situation the exact same way. Had interfered until he felt confident the danger had passed, and then just… ignored it. Like it was a monster under the bed, and so long as you just didn’t look, it wouldn’t get you.

Kaito just didn’t understand how feeling suicidal actually corresponded to everything that happened this year. Sure, he knew what caused suicidal ideation in himself, but… there was no way Kokichi hated himself. There was nothing to hate. 

…sure, in his worst delusions, Kokichi had thought other people hated him. But being hated wasn’t the same as self-hating, right?

Maybe this was all something he should bring up. It felt important… but Kaito focused as Maki started to speak, desperately not wanting therapy to shift focus back to him. He felt like he had been the focus for too long. Way too long. It felt selfish. And exhausting. Better to focus on a group thing.

“I’ve been trying to think of an example of feeling ‘defeated’ since we started. I’ve been trying to listen too, but I’ll be honest, I’ve mostly been wracking my brain trying to think of an actual example. Like Shuichi, I think my tolerance for what ‘defeated’ is is probably weirdly high.” Maki said dryly, tucking her hair behind her ears before resting her elbows against her knees, looking vaguely at the pond, mostly just letting her gaze unfocus as she thought aloud, “You can’t live your whole life being crushed by it. Eventually your standards just have to change. Standards in the sense of, not what you’ll tolerate, but what you’ll actually allow to hurt you. Being controlled can’t be defeat, that was my whole life. And, unlike Shuichi, I never felt like I was doing the right thing in my career, so I couldn’t take pride in the choices I could control, because usually my choices were between ‘horrifying thing A’ or ‘horrifying thing B’. My lack of emotional investment in successes and failures are so engrained in me now that even winning the war and shutting down the program left me just sort of… empty. Not unhappy, but not thrilled either. It was just one more thing I had to get done. And I’m glad it’s done. But I have a hard time feeling it.”

“But…” Maki’s gaze softened as she said softly, “Seeing my younger siblings thankings their older ones? When the exchange students returned? That felt good. That felt like success. I felt more in that moment than I had felt in the whole war. I had succeeded in taking care of my family.”

“...” Dr. Mariah tipped her head, “I know you’re leading up to a defeated example. Why start with a success?”

Maki shrugged, “Taking care of my siblings, winning the war, every ‘successful’ moment I’ve ever had? Has been the most stressed out I’ve ever been in my entire life. In fact, that’s been so constant in my life, that I’ve come to realize that unless I’m feeling exceptionally stressed out, or ‘defeated’, or bad… that’s usually the sign that I’m doing the right thing. That I’m on the right path. Everything that I want, that I believe is worth doing? Rips me apart, emotionally and physically. My idea of defeat doesn’t have an emotional equivalent like you guys associate with it. Succeeding is a painful emotion. Defeat? What I actually consider defeat? Is a relaxing feeling. A very, very sad, relaxing feeling.”

Dr. Mariah’s eyes narrowed… before gaze softened. “Maki, do you not want to give your example? You just wanted to explain your thought process?”

Maki gave her a mildly frustrated look… before she shrugged again. Clearly trying to play it off as she admitted, “We all don’t like our more shameful moments. But Kaito’s observation of stress when it comes to defeat wrung true for me, and I guess that’s why I was confused by what Kokichi was saying as well. The man I’ve come to know in the last year doesn’t break from his morals, or ideologies, even if it’s incredibly stressful, even if it throws him into a heart attack. And I agree with Shuichi, in that it had to be something you could actually try in, to feel defeated. A lot of that was out of Kokichi’s hands. Though… maybe I’m not understanding that concept entirely, as saying it aloud, Kokichi being unable to do anything about the Brockmans doesn’t mean he still hadn’t tried to fix it. Kokichi has a savior complex, if he thought he could do something, even if in reality he couldn’t, that would probably feel crushing when it happened without input either way.”

“And my example is something I’m ashamed of, yes… I sent my siblings to what I knew very well could be their deaths. And, as far as I knew? Sometimes they died.” Maki whispered, “I would tell them their best options. I would train them. I would argue with their resolve, trying to convince them to stay. And when they chose to leave anyway… knowing there was nothing more I could do? I’d just… force myself to stop thinking of them. Tell myself it didn’t matter. They weren’t my problem anymore… and that always felt like a betrayal. That there was nothing I could do once they left the capital. They could live, die… I’d likely never even find out. And I couldn’t obsess over it. So… I’d let it go. So, yes… defeat feels to me like resigned, sad, ‘giving up’. And…”

“...I feel pretty defeated a lot, lately.” Maki murmured.

Kokichi loved Maki a lot, but sometimes hearing the emotional hoops that she’d jumped through so many times it was second nature was…difficult. 

He could understand why seeing the actual outcome of what she’d been fighting for--not necessarily a new order in Luminary, but her siblings’ safety and happiness and futures--was more rewarding than knowing that the war was won, but… Well, it was Maki-brand intensity. For Kokichi, doing the right thing could be stressful, sure, but…there was always reprieve and lightness after it was done. 

Maki was done now, but…now she just felt defeated. Not just…adrift, and uncomfortable in that feeling, but defeated. A resigned, sad, ‘giving up’ feeling. 

And…breaking from his morals? Even if it felt more like going through the motions than belief, Kokichi’s convictions were just…who he was. Breaking them was…well, the ultimate defeat. The last defeat. Because without his will…he wasn’t Kokichi anymore. 

…without something to fight for, did Maki feel like Maki anymore? It sounded like an exhausting way to live…but Maki had been pretty exhausted. 

Kokichi gave her a soft look. “...do you know what you’re giving up on? Or is it just…an untethered feeling?”

“Man, ‘tethered’ has such a different meaning in my head now.” Kaito murmured aloud, running his hand over his forehead a bit as he peered down at the koi fish. Hmmm… he kinda wanted to go pet the fish. Would it be disrespectful to go pet fish while Maki was talking about her… what? Kaito looked up at Maki and frowned, while she was considering how to answer Kokichi’s question, “Defeated? Maki, you won everything you wanted in the last year.”

Dr. Mariah was about to correct Kaito about interrupting Maki’s thought process, but Maki seemed to have a quicker response to this, answering almost immediately, “Sure. But to get those victories? I had to compromise. I had to accept a thousand little defeats, in my compromises for the big wins. And now that I’ve gotten what I wanted? The little things… the things I had to let go or decide didn’t matter or just pushed past? They weigh on me now. I keep going over it in my head, this last year. Was there a way?” Maki asked, her forehead pinching in stress as she asked, “Was there a way I could have done it all perfectly? Could I have gotten what I wanted without all the sacrifices? Could I have really fixed everything. Had I just… not tried hard enough? Had I gotten lazy, complacent? Did I do enough? Should I be doing more now? Should I be fixing my mistakes… are they mistakes that can even be fixed?”

“Some of them aren’t.” Maki said, speaking rapidly, clearly a rush of thoughts running out as she said, “I failed to keep an eye on Kokichi and he got kidnapped. I didn’t beat Katsuki to him and failed to handle the situation in a way that wouldn’t traumatize you all further. Those idiot Brockmans died and those psychopath children lived.” Maki twitch,d continuing on, “And the only reason those psychopaths exist is because I already failed originally because of my original defeats. Sending those kids off and writing them off, deciding there was nothing more I could do. Was there something more I could have done? Could I have fixed them? Could I have helped them more? Could I have forced them to stay where we could keep an eye on them, instead of hoping the border would promise them more opportunities? I failed then and if there was ever a more obvious sign that said failure mattered then those two murderous idiots?”

Dr. Mariah sighed, “Maki, you’re taking too much responsi–”

“It’s not delusion if it's real.” Maki snapped, shooting her red eyes challengingly at Dr. Mariah, tensing, “It’s not me being controlling if I could have actually controlled it. It’s not insane to say the universe bends when every time I reflect, every small thing I did? It all had… so much consequence. Everything. Everything.”

Maki’s tense, near vibrating body glared at Dr. Mariah, daring her in her body language to argue with her. Dr. Mariah didn’t indulge her, just patiently waiting for Maki to get it out of her system, the dragon reincarnated waiting… before Maki let out a tense little breath. “... I know the things I’m giving up on, Kokichi. I just don’t know if I’m not changing them because I actually can’t do anything, or if I’ve just grown lazy and useless since the last big push. I’m so tired…”

Kokichi gave Kaito a slightly apologetic look--more out of reflex, than actually apologizing for introducing the concept of tethers to him--before refocusing on Maki. Hearing her thought process and…do as he and Shuuichi had once discussed, comparing Maki and Kaito. Analyze every little bit of everything, wanting to be better. Wanting to eliminate mistakes. 

But her perspective of change…

Kokichi nodded a bit. One thing at a time. 

“...I know you don’t feel this way,” he started with a small, knowing sigh. “And how you do feel about how you feel is the most important thing, so…there could be an argument that this is just self-aggrandizing to say. But I’m going to anyway.”

“Being lazy isn’t bad. And it doesn’t make you useless. And…well, it’s a whole different conversation itself, but ‘lazy’ isn’t even something a person is, it’s what they do, and in your case, if anyone else called you lazy, I’d be baffled. Because the fact that you’re so frustrated and restless and feeling defeated and over-analytical during this rest that you so desperately need,” there Kokichi’s voice firmed, his gaze focusing more, though he didn’t think Maki would argue, “Is a sign that as soon as you’re physically able? You’re going to set off with a dozen little Maki-chan-style projects with gusto and precise attention to detail. Because you’re not someone who wants to be at rest forever.”

“The fact that you’re still thinking about all the things that matter to you means, explicitly, that you haven’t given up on them,” Kokichi said firmly again, before smiling slightly. “Someone very dear to me once said that you can’t save someone drowning if you don’t know how to swim. Maki-chan knows how to swim, and she’s incredible at it. She’s already saved thousands of drowning people. But swimming takes energy, and swimming for multiple people takes an astounding amount of energy. Resting on the shore, getting food and water and taking a nap doesn’t mean you’re a beachgoer asleep under an umbrella, unaware that people are drowning at all. And it doesn’t even mean that you’re someone who’s unwilling to swim, but is still alerting a lifeguard, though I believe those people are still not giving up. You’re someone who’s put in the work. And needs to rest and take care of yourself before you can swim again. It’s not giving up, or being unwilling, to care for yourself enough to not drown.”

Letting out a little breath, Kokichi ran a hand through his hair. “...And I know I’m long winded. And I don’t want to belittle how you feel--that’s not what I’m attempting to do, Maki-chan. But…feeling like all your actions have big, real consequences? That’s…the conceit of free will. Whether we see them or not, our actions have consequences. You’ve kept your world tightly around you…so you see those consequences. You’re willing to take bigger risks than a lot of people, so there are bigger consequences.”

“...but your actions do not override other people’s, they collide,” he said quieter, something sad coming into his eyes. “We’ve seen the consequences of that when you tried. And I am, deeply, truly sorry if this is cruel…none of your siblings deserved their lot in life. The choices that they had to make. But when you first explained to me the advice that you gave to them…you said that they approached you first. That you always tried to dissuade them as much as you could, and when you saw nothing would change their will, you tried to equip them for the best chances they could have. Even after they left…that was not giving up on them. If you thought then that you wouldn’t be able to keep them there…trust yourself. If no one else.”

“The past doesn’t change. We learn from it. But obsessing over circumstances that will never be yours again isn’t learning. It’s just hurting yourself, Maki-chan.”

Maki, while not being the type to cry, wasn’t a stone wall either. And there was a telling shimmer in her gaze, her eyes reflecting the light more visibly then normal… but if there wa a desire to cry, she didn’t let herself. She took a small breath and, in an act of preservation, took a step back, emotionally. She didn’t like being laid bare. It made her feel too exposed.

She had to look away from him, taking another mental step backwards, not wanting to focus on him… and twitched. “Kaito?”

Kaito, whose face was swimming, said defensibly, “What?? It was a good speech!”

“It wasn’t even towards you this time.” Shuichi observed, raising an eyebrow at Kaito. But, as idly as he said it, there was just a sudden flash of understanding that went through Shuichi, watching Kaito sit there and visibly weep over something Kokichi had said to Maki, the man looking just resigned to his own reaction, if defensive at Maki’s open incredulousness. 

…maybe Shuichi wasn’t actually doing anything wrong, when Kaito got emotional. Maybe Kaito was just generally feeling emotional lately. 

Maki not apparently able respond to what Kokichi had said and the three Luminaries showing all their classic signs of about to diffuse tension by passing quips back and forth to each other, Dr. Mariah intervened. “It’s like Kokichi said, Maki, and what we’ve discussed before, so I’m going to stress it again: a physical ability does not equal a mental one. Certainly, perhaps now you can look back and see ways you could have done it better. Less mistakes, less compromises… but you know what the Maki now has, that the Maki then doesn’t, and couldn’t, have?” Dr. Mariah tilted her head, hair cascading down her shoulders, wearing it down that day, “Time. Months and months to think about it, rather then mere moments, or days, or even weeks. Juggling a thousand other things at the same time.”

“We can forget this, as a people, but thinking is a physical action, and it has physical limitations.” Dr. Mariah said gently, “Thinking things through takes time. It takes effort. You can overwork your brain, that ‘burn-out’ feeling people talk about, and your thoughts progressively become more useless. Again, as Kokichi mentioned? Rest is essential. No one can go non-stop, forever. Not even ‘The’ Maki Harukawa.” Dr. Mariah said, smiling at her slightly, as Maki huffed, clearly slightly embarrassed to have that mentality pointed out again. Dr. Mariah then let the smile fall, saying sternly, “I will say it for the thousandth time… what you are going through is hard. Not acknowledging how difficult it is, assuming that any problems you’re having is some personal failing? It is the wrong mentality to go into this with. You will never overcome them, if you assume your problems are smaller than they are and that you are simply weaker than you need to be. You need to be realistic.”

There was another strangled sniffle from Kaito’s corner of the pond, the man now just straight up covering his face, clearly trying to be quiet and unobtrusive but clearly just overwhelmed in the moment. Dr. Mariah gave Kaito a concerned look, before deciding, instead of asking about it and calling him out, simply saying, “Let’s all take five minutes. Get some water.”

Kokichi had mostly focused on Maki as he spoke, but when he was done he looked around to the rest of the group, and…oh Kaito… Kokichi huffed a small, bashful laugh, shaking his head. “Thanks, hun… Did kind of turn into a speech, huh…”

He couldn’t remember which of his friends had said it, now. That the decisions they had made in the past were the best decisions the people they were at the time could’ve made. It wasn’t to make an excuse and write past actions off, but…it was to stop beating down on the person you once were and realize that they weren’t just…dumb or lacking. People tried their best. Sometimes it wasn’t enough. You had to deal with the consequences, learn, and move on. 

It was a lot harder than saying the words. 

Kokichi sighed softly as Dr. Mariah declared a break, nodding as he wiggled out of his chair and walked over to Kaito’s. Over the past year, Kokichi had picked up more than a few things from his family, but the practice of carrying a handkerchief--and not any he’d wear around his neck--was one he’d started too, along with all the other mischief in his pockets.

Taking out a white square with sunflower stitching, Kokichi offered it to Kaito, gently rubbing his back.

“‘M fine, I’m fine, fuck what is wrong with me?” Kaito grumbled, looking over and taking the offered handkerchief, but giving it a frustrated look before he put his face into it. The sunflower was cute… uuuugh. “I liked the swimming thing. Maki, did you say that?”

“Mmmm.” Maki hummed, watching Shuichi take it upon himself to grab the pitcher of water and going around filling everyone's cups. She leaned against the wall of her egg seat, shrugging as she said, “I can’t remember what point I was trying to argue, specifically, but yeah, I remember saying something like that to Kokichi once. Really throwing my own advise back at me, hmm Kokichi?”

Sipping her water, Dr. Mariah sighed. This group was so bad at taking breaks. She’d let them talk, so long as it didn’t get too heavy.

“You’re okay,” Kokichi soothed, before looking back at Maki with something half-amused on his face. 

“I definitely wouldn’t be above doing that, and…honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve said something similar. You give a lot of good advice, Maki-chan. But…nah,” Kokichi shook his head. “I was quoting my mentor. I used to involuntarily dream-hop, I told you, and…well, early on, I was, yanno, havin’ a real ‘savior complex’ moment,” Kokichi rolled his eyes. “I got really worked up about not hopping to people to fix any little bit of mild distress they might be in…but my mentor explained that even if I had been able to help people that way before? I was constantly taking dangerous risks with both people and myself. I needed to learn to swim before getting on the lifeguard tower.”

Kokichi blinked slowly, still rubbing Kaito’s back before he hummed. “...you know, I’ve metaphorically seen what my brain looks like when it’s overworked. It sucks. None of us should do it.”

At this, Maki briefly looked genuinely sheepish, “Oh… I think I was mistaking remembering talking about actual swimming… well, it’s still good advice. I’d agree with it… Kaito, why are you crying?”

“Break.” Dr. Mariah reminded them, sipping her water, “We do it for a reason.”

Maki huffed, leaning back into her chair, rocking in it a bit. Kaito groaned too, both of them looking equally exasperated with his own actions. They were silent for a bit, Kaito, indeed, using the break to pull himself back together, that raw, exposed feeling lessoning… before he gave Kokichi a concerned look, “... you’re not still trying to, uh, randomly dream peoples problems away, right? Your mentors right, if that’s going to hurt you…”

Smiling softly, Kokichi shook his head, moving his hand up to help work some of the tension out of Kaito’s neck. “No, I don’t. I could probably do it without hurting myself in the grand majority of cases, but…that’s not my job. People might sleep better getting help battling a bad dream, or talking out an issue that’s been bothering them, but…that’s not my responsibility.”

Though even as he said it, there was something a little sad in Kokichi’s face. “People will have bad dreams and internal issues and…that’s okay. I’m not the world’s therapist, and I’m not a baku. What is my job is ensuring that the system Diceans live in is fair and just for them to live in, and to pursue the kind of life they want. What’s my personal job, is looking after my family, and helping out in the ways that I’m able. Any more than that just…isn’t my responsibility. And it would make me worse at my actual jobs to pursue.”

“...and there’s also the fact that the thing that allowed me to do that so rampantly before is something I’m actively trying to avoid doing ever, so…less worries there.”

“...baku?” Kaito asked, looking to Shuichi.

Shuichi just shrugged, “Got me on that one. Couldn’t even guess.”

Not giving a single damn, Kokichi leaned over to place a kiss on Kaito’s forehead, now that he seemed to be calming down more. “I don’t remember seeing them in the book, but Baku are a type of creature that eat dreams. The folklore can be pretty divided, as it usually is, going from, hey, if you entice a Baku, they might be happy with your respect and eat that bad dream you’ve been having; or stories painting them more, like mischievously malicious, being attracted to people with bad dreams and eating them away at first, so the person’s thankful and keeps them around, only for the Baku to keep eating even good dreams and, like, dreams as in aspirations, until you’re a goalless husk of a person before they move onto the next. There’s some pretty cool illustrations of ‘em--my personal favorite is one that looks like a cute pink elephant.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a warm look, easily leaning in to the kiss, liking that warm feeling against him… before he glanced curiously at Dr. Mariah. “Are Baku real?”

Dr. Mariah raised an eyebrow, “You think I’ll know?”

“I don’t know? Maybe?? You know things!”

Dr. Mariah siiiiiiiipped her water… before nodding. “I’ve heard things that suggest, yes, Baku are real. Or at least they were, at one point in history. You don’t hear about them these days.”

“Maybe someone took offense to being eaten.” Maki mused.

“...are we done with our break?” Shuichi asked.

Dr. Mariah glanced at the sky, “Yes. Did you have something you wished to bring up, Shuichi?”

“... I just think I suddenly get Kaito, a little better now, after that.” Shuichi explained, pushing his bangs aside, “And, I say this not meaning to be unkind, Kaito, but… a lot of my frustration is not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to help, feeling like I’m always making it worse, but…”

Kaito gave Shuichi a wary look, as his fiance considered his words, “... I don’t know how to say this without… maybe you’re just emotional… not in a…” Shuichi frowned, his eyes wandering, looking for the wording in his mind, before his gaze settled on Maki. “?”

“??” She expressed back.

“?”

Maki sighed, unimpressed. “If you’re not brave enough to just say it, why did you bring it up?”

“It’s not bravery, I just… when did I become the person that sucks at communicating?”

“Always.” Maki responded quickly.

“Uh, since forever?” Kaito said almost just as quickly, looking genuinely surprised.

Shuichi blanched at that, “What? No. I’m the nice one!”

Kaito and Maki both shot each other an amused look, Kaito saying carefully, “Uh, sure, but… nice doesn’t equal, like… good at communicating. You always put your foot in your mouth, handsome… w-what!?” Kaito asked, looking alarmed at Shuichi’s withering look at that, “I thought you knew! I’m certain we’ve talked about this before.”

“About me being bad at communicating? Maybe back in high school, sure… but I’ve improved since then.”

“I mean, yeah, absolutely! You’re, like… better at it now. Then you were then.” Kaito agreed, grinning warily at Shuichi, “But, uh… look, what was it you were trying to say to me?”

Shuichi narrowed his eyes at him… before saying with a sigh, “I was about to say that maybe I need to stop trying to assume it’s something I can control, that you’re feeling sad about things, when you’re probably just feeling pretty emotional in general these days because of all the things Kokichi brought up earlier, just the sheer weight of everything that’s been going on lately piling on. But, I feel like this small exchange here is also a sign that maybe I am saying things that deliberately bother you… on accident.” Shuichi conceded, glancing aside, “This time.”

“Communication is tough. You all wouldn’t be here, asking for professional help, if it wasn’t,” Dr. Mariah reminded him gently… though a part of her was a little gleeful. Shuichi, of the four, was the most resistant to actual good advice because he was a little convinced all the issues were being fostered by everyone else in the group. Him slowly realizing his own communication abilities is seriously hindered, detective history or not, was ultimately a good thing. Hopefully Shuichi was really allowing himself to reflect, these days. “And I’ve discussed with Kaito and Kokichi, at least, that these negative reactions aren’t baseless, they don’t come from nowhere… but that also doesn’t absolve Kaito from the responsibility of keeping his reactions to said negative events non-traumatic. One being true doesn’t absolve the rest of it, or make the other points inconsequential. Shuichi, you do need to work on your communication. Kaito, still, needs to work on his reactions. Both are true.”

“Aw…” Depending on what part of the lore actual Baku tended toward, it might be a safer thing for them to not really be around anymore but…Kokichi thought they were kinda cool. And getting to see a real tiny pink smoke elephant would’ve been amazing. 

…then again, there were depictions of them being just creepy little fellas, so maybe it was just the fantasy of them he liked. 

Nodding when their break time was over, Kokichi headed back to his egg, pausing a moment to give Shuuichi a look to show she was listening even with his back turned while he climbed back in, but…

Kokichi glanced between Maki and Kaito for a moment, a kind of middling expression on his face. He’d never known Shuuichi before this year, of course, and Shuuichi really could articulate some things well. Just…not always when it came to his feelings. Which was why they relied on each other for accountability! But…still…

Shuuichi couldn’t push back all of Kaito’s sadness, but there were things he could do to help. He just…needed a little practice and feedback with it. “Communication and relationships are two-way,” Kokichi smiled slightly, nodding at Dr. Mariah’s summation. “I’ve learned that not everything is solved with compromise, but…it does help to approach problems with that mindset to figure out what they are, I think.”

Kaito rubbed the back of his neck, a bit of confusion on his face now as he said with some hesitation, “Right… are we still talking about our language for defeat? Or, feeling defeated, or… no offense, Dr. Mariah, but I thought we were going into all that stuff to eventually be, like, ‘okay, here’s the trick to Kaito not acting like a massive baby now’. And instead it feels like we talked about a lot of random things… good things! In the sense of, like, I do feel like I understand everyone a little better now–”

“We didn’t actually finish discussing Kokichi’s, I kind of took that over.” Maki reminded them.

“-- but I don’t really see how that’s meant to help me not freaking out all the time.”

Dr. Mariah interlocked her hands, “Admittedly, not every exercise I bring forth works entirely how I expect it too, when we start. I am fallible. However, we haven’t actually finished that exercise. We understand Shuichi and Maki’s definitions, and Kokichi did make an honest attempt to explain his, though Maki is correct, we didn’t actually finish with him. But you’re forgetting that you didn’t go at all, Kaito.”

“I didn’t?” Kaito asked, sounding genuinely confused. Hadn’t he? Oh, he guessed he hadn’t. “I mean, I’d be up to going back to Kokichi’s explanation, but on my end, it’s really not that complicated. It’s just a sort of nauseous, like… wavey feeling. That settles for a little bit… like wearing a gross coat.”

Dr. Mariah blinked. “... that’s too descriptive for you to not be saying it in earnest, but you know that’s not particularly helpful. We’re discussing sources. We just went over it with three people, Kaito.”

Kaito shrugged slightly, looking tired, “I don’t always know what triggers it. Sorry. I just know what it feels like. I can give you a better answer if you let me think about it, or, uh, talk aloud… but I’d rather listen to Kokichi, if he has more to say?” Kaito asked, looking to Kokichi.

…right. They had been on a particular thread, before. They were prone to tangents but…wow. This was a really wild one. And while Kokichi hadn’t finished--at least the broader discussion of his--Kaito…really hadn’t gone at all. And it had spawned with Kokichi taking a stab at describing the way Kaito had been going about lately. 

…which was a little how he was feeling now. Not everything, but one of his flavors. 

Kokichi gave his husband a gentle look. “I do think that it’s important that, eventually, we do talk about how you’ve been feeling, hun. We all love and care about you and seeing you go through all this…we…I just want to know how I can help. To listen to the things you want to say, to support what’s difficult to carry on your own.”

“...but if you don’t have the energy to get into it right now? You can tell us,” he nodded to the rest of the group. “Sometimes what people need is a push--you know that from me. But…sometimes they need time and space. If you don’t feel like you can get into it? Just let us know.”

Did Kaito want to go into this? 

He actually didn’t mind, honestly, he just… still didn’t really know what the point was. He just wanted to be better. The problem was Shuichi didn’t feel comfortable saying things around him, because Kaito overreacted to everything…

…Kaito’s teeth gritted at that a little. But he let it go. Shuichi wasn’t wrong, and it was like with Kokichi. Just because Kokichi absolutely had good reasons to be upset… well, his reactions to things had been… difficult. Nothing Kaito couldn’t handle! But difficult. And he didn’t want to make things difficult on his partners. 

But the whole point of the discussion had been trying to define what everyone thought ‘defeat’ was, because… that was what Maki and Kokichi both thought Kaito was. Defeated. And it was that feeling of defeat that was causing Kaito so much misery. And Kaito… didn’t really know what they were talking about, entirely.

He glanced at Maki. Maki’s idea of defeat was ‘giving up’. Of seeing a problem was happening, something that bothered her, and making the decision to turn her back on on it anyway, because it was just too much. For Maki, that was defeat. And she had said Kaito was defeated in his relationship with Kokichi and… had she said Shuichi? Or just Kokichi?

Why would she say that?

Kaito tried to see himself as Maki saw him. Really tried to put himself in her shoes and see himself… and, ironically enough, could practically feel her roll her eyes at him and say ‘that’s not what Dr. Mariah’s asking you to do, Kaito.’

Right. Okay.

What about Kokichi? Sure, that wasn’t the point of Kaito talking about defeat, but he still let himself consider it. Kokichi had listed tragedies, when he talked about defeat. Things that had happened to them, to him, each tragic event apparently carrying a wave of defeat with them, to Kokichi. Or, if Kaito kept in mind Kokichi’s clarification, those were Kokichi being ‘defeated’, rather then feeling ‘defeated’. And his husband had said Kaito was defeated…

And, sure, Kaito had been, but… he could have spared himself those feelings. That reality. He could have ran. Started a new life somewhere. He had chosen to stay. He hadn’t been defeated, he had stayed…

He had a feeling if he said that aloud, Kokichi would have no idea what he was talking about. Kaito chewed on his lip, trying to make sense of his own mentality before he presented it to them. Describing the feeling was so much easier then describing what it meant to him. Um…

…it was so much more alluring, trying to interpret how Maki and Kokichi saw him and accommodating his answer around that. But every time Kaito started to think about that, he could feel their reaction, or his interpretation of their reaction, reminding him that that wasn’t the point. The point wasn’t to adjust to their view of him. The point was to explain his own thoughts on it.

“...I think I just genuinely don’t know how to answer this.” Kaito admitted, feeling a little guilty at that, “Can I try again next time? Give myself some time to think about it? I mean, if we still even want to talk about it later? Is that bad? Do I need to answer to get advice on how to react better? I still want to work on that, I just don’t know how to answer.”

Dr. Mariah frowned… before realizing she was pushing too hard, at this particular revelation. If Kaito was negotiating for advice? Seeing this as a trade? She needed to approach this from his viewpoint, for a bit, she didn’t want him going back to the mentality that therapy was something you could ‘win’. Alright… “I think, for you and Shuichi specifically? You both need to utilize breaks and listening more. Allow yourselves to have slower conversations, with longer gaps. Maybe utilize my candy trick, either with food or something, perhaps cups of water that you take turns holding and sipping from when the other is trying to talk. If the issue is that your conversations end with a lot of hurt feelings? Slower conversations that allow you both a moment to think before responding is usually a solid method, along with allowing yourself to take breaks from each other before revisiting the conversation with cooler heads.”

Kokichi could see Kaito thinking, looking between them all but…it didn’t have to be a frantic answer. Kaito could think it over, really take stock of how he was doing, and what he would say, and how that would feel to discuss with the group. If you wanted to have a deep, substantial conversation with someone, you needed to give them time to think. Being able to act on your feet was a wonderful skill, but for contemplative, long-lasting things, they took time. 

And…rather, it was more that Kaito didn’t really know what his answer was. Which was a lie, but…maybe he just wanted more time to think anyway. Once wasn’t avoidance. 

Kokichi offered Kaito a soft look as Dr. Mariah gave her homework, humming a bit. “I can hang out with Miya earlier some afternoon if you guys wanna plan something for it. It might be nice to take advantage of backyard-loungin’ weather while we still have it.”

“With that offer made? Let’s make it a homework assignment, shall we?” Dr. Mariah asked, smiling slightly as the groans Shuichi and Maki both gave, “Come now, they were helpful, and I’ve given you a very long break. Kaito, Shuichi, what I would like your homework to be is to take some designated time together to talk things out, using the methods I just suggested: keeping your hands and mouth busy when it’s not your turn to talk, trying not to interrupt each other, and letting the conversation linger and take time, even if the pacing feels odd–”

Kaito sighed, scratching his chin. “...admittedly, I’m supposed to be doing that with everyone anyway. Miss Crystal wanted me to try basically the same thing too.”

“With all due respect to my colleague, I’ve found having a client focus on practicing the techniques on specific people rather than telling them to practice it with everyone tends to be more… efficient.” Dr. Mariah said, “But good, you can knock two homework assignments out at once then. Do you both agree to the assignment?”

Shuichi and Kaito glanced at each other, though Kaito waited until Shuichi nodded, “Of course,” Shuichi said, “It’s simple enough, and… Kaito, I feel like I haven’t explained myself well. I’m not worried about you traumatizing me, I just feel like I keep doing it to you. This isn’t you needing to be better for me, I was trying to work out how to be better for you, and just… that whole discussion got away from me…”

Kaito gave Shuichi a soft look at that, “I don’t think you treat me badly, handsome. But, we can talk about it, okay?”

“Good,” Dr. Mariah nodded, before looking to Kokichi and Maki, “Now… what to do with you two… Maki. I have a… unique exercise in mind for you. You can refuse, it’s more cumbersome than my usual ones. I only ask because I genuinely believe it will help.”

Maki raised an eyebrow, “And that is…?”

“This week? I’d like you to volunteer your time somewhere.” Dr. Mariah said, not deterred at Maki’s unimpressed look, “Rest is good, and you need it. But having too much time on your hands to do nothing but think about regrets is… well, it’s not helpful. I’d go so far as to suggest it’s toxic. I don’t want you going back to what I know you consider your ‘work’, that’s a terrible idea for you right now. But you need something small to focus and use up some of that very helpful energy of yours. Consider an animal shelter, or perhaps volunteering at one of the local rec centers or dojos? Just take some time this week and do something small to help some group somewhere, let it take up some time and energy. I really do believe it will help. Do you agree?”

Maki stared at her… before sighing, rolling her eyes as she said, “What, I’m going to say yes to the dancing thing, but no to volunteer work? Sure.”

It was always a trial, trying to convince Kaito out of the double standards that he held for them. It was A PROBLEM if Kokichi or Shuuichi were hurt or upset or angry or struggling or…even just found something difficult. But if Kaito was dealing with any of that then, oh, nah, they had better, more important things to worry about, he just needed a little time to himself…

It wasn’t always like that, Kokichi knew. But it was enough, and they had talked about it enough. 

Listening to Maki’s homework, Kokichi could feel a flare of inspiration light within him, but he managed to tamp it down until after Maki agreed, giving her a small smile. “I’m sure you can find stuff yourself, but the bulletin board in the main hall, and…really any of the admins should be able to give you more volunteer options than you’d know what to do with, if you want help. And, well, I’m happy to help out if you have questions about an organization or anything.”

With that, though, Kokichi looked to Dr. Mariah expectantly, waiting for his assignment.

Dr. Mariah considered todays session. She thought of last session as well. Tried to recall the one before that…

… Kokichi seemed to be doing well, but also, he seemed to be almost… mmm… too well. And when they had first started this session, the first thing Kokichi said was he had run out of things to say about the week, which he had directed to the others.

Had something happened that Kokichi hadn’t felt like talking about?

In some respects, Dr. Mariah worried Kokichi had picked up the ‘relationship martyr’ baton that Dr. Mariah had been trying so hard to get Kaito to put down. Dismissing his own issues in an attempt to better take care of his family. Or perhaps not? Dr. Mariah was having trouble telling. While the Luminaries had a ‘you had to be there’ wall around some of their historical issues, with Kokichi, Dr. Mariah sometimes felt like she was failing to ask the right questions with him, because he was, in turn, shielded by his Luminaries. Too much happening around him, to focus on him. So maybe he was just coping exceptionally well with things, or maybe Dr. Mariah couldn’t see the cracks in him right now because there was too much stuff going on for Kokichi to quietly step behind.

“When’s the last day you either took a day for yourself, or went out with someone not currently on this roof? And I mean a significant portion of the day, not just an hour or so? You all remember I did suggest you take breaks from each other, even with the baby around… Kokichi? Have you?”

Kokichi thought for a moment, but even doing that his mouth decided to move. “I mean…I make time most days, when I can. You did suggest so, and Dr. Egami did too. I feel like stretches of, like, around three hours? While not the majority of a day, do feel pretty significant to me…but that said?”

Kokichi shrugged, looking a little guilty. “Not since before my birthday, for taking, like, a day off.” He paused, frowning at that. “...man, it’s really been that long since I’ve had a pals day out with Amber and Stacy, huh… Though, they are busy too and I wanted to ask around our friends for good dates so we could have our anniversary celebration with everyone…”

…Kokichi was…

Well, most days were good. He’d meant it when he told Kaito that there was an other side to get to. Yeah, things were stressful, considering the struggles his family were going through, and that wasn’t pleasant for any of them, and he had been genuinely scared with the Drake thing…felt guilty for starting this spiral in Kaito in the first place… But day to day he really was alright. Happy to spend time with his family and friends and alone, doing things he enjoyed in a city he loved. Taking each day a step at a time. 

He just hadn’t planned anything major outside of his family since…well, all the major things around this time he really wanted to do with them. And…

…he was feeling that guilty itch to get back to working on anti-conditioning defenses, nevermind the work he was continuing against hivemind interference. Every now and then the fact would echo in his mind. A quarter of Luminary’s population, and they’d helped…three. A very, very important three, but still. 

But Kokichi was able to look at his family around him and…he knew they needed him more right now. He could focus on one project at a time, and…the Luminaries would be okay waiting a little longer. They had other things to adjust to too. 

Stuff like that was why Kokichi had taken to going on walks during his non-Miyako time, finding different playgrounds in the city and just…drawing in his leather journal, or sneaking in playtime when there were gaps between kid groups. Taking time to decompress. 

Dr. Mariah nodded at that, “That’s good, but a ‘day off’, a day meant entirely to yourself? That’s worth something every now and again too, helps with having the energy to keep up with your daily maintenance, and it gives you time to really, well… get distance. Again, that’s something all of you need, a day off every now and again to give yourself times to be individuals, rather than a group.” Dr. Mariah cautioned, looking to the rest as well, before refocusing on Kokichi, “But somehow I imagine you might end up needing more reminding. I’d like you to take a day off from family responsibilities, at some point this week. Just take a day to yourself, doing whatever comes to mind. Do you agree?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Kokichi nodded. “Can’t always account for emergencies, but I’ll make a plan for it, at least. I’m not sure what I’d want to do…might even just end up staying at home, but we’ll see.”

Laughing a little at himself, Kokichi sent a teasing look to his partners. “Will you guys get too annoyed if I break out my planner when we get home? Some part of me feels like it’s counterintuitive for something I’m gonna do to relax, but…there’s been a lot to plan, lately. Really thought it’d be less filled without work notes, but nope.”

“Babe, if it let’s you take a day off, go for it, planner away.” Kaito grinned, giving Kokichi an openly adoring look as he said, “You do spend a lot of time with us, and I just took my own night off a few days ago–”

Shuichi sighed at that.

“-- and took another few hours to myself not that long before that–”

Deeper sigh from Shuichi.

“So honestly both you and Shuichi should probably take some time, or, like, more time for yourselves, and I can make certain Tim is good, Maki, if you maybe want to do some traveling, or spend a night camping, and Shuichi are you struggling to breath or–??”

“We can’t count those two afternoons as days off, Kaito.” Shuichi said dryly, “You did not relax those days.”

Kaito rolled his eyes and waved Shuichi off, “I will also take a day off at some point. I’m just saying, you both do a lot with Miyako, it’s good to let you guys take a day for yourselves, I’ve got it.”

While he didn’t sigh, and at first had given Kaito a grateful nod, as his husband continued on Kokichi’s expression was dry enough to compliment his fiance’s louder signs of disagreement. Though, it did soften a little again before he spoke up. “You also do a lot with Miyako, and us, so you can also take days for yourself. And I won’t let that ‘some point’ stay a ‘some point’. We’ll plan that out in my planner too, if we have to.”

Now letting out a sigh, Kokichi just quietly considered Kaito for a moment. …Kaito had been better about this too, lately. And…Dr. Mariah had a point with Maki, that while you needed rest, filling your time with too much of it was madness. 

But the thing was…Kaito had friends outside of them. Hobbies he didn’t need them around to perform. Places to do them that weren’t home. Did he just…need more?

…but it sounded like they were wrapping up. He’d save it for next time, hopefully when Kaito didn’t seem as tired. 

-

“Maybe I should take Miyako with me…” Shuichi mused, glancing nervously between Kokichi and Miyako’s crib. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”

Kaito grinned, taking Shuichi’s face in his hands and giving him a small kiss… before deciding he quite liked the taste and kissing him longer, just enjoying him for a moment… and he laughed when he heard a small, annoyed muffled “‘ai’o.”

“Sorry, sorry. Look, Miyako’s a super baby, right? She takes after dad~ she doesn’t get sick! So she’ll be fine.”

Shuichi frowned, looking over his shoulder at the crib again, “I mean, that’s what they tell us…”

“And Kokichi’s already sick. And frankly it’s probably just a matter of time for you, but, we might as well try to keep you sniffles clear. And Dr. Mariah was just saying you should take time for yourself–”

“She said that for Kokichi–”

“--Shuichi, come on, go out, hang with Maki hang with your friends, go sit and read all day to your hearts content.” Kaito sighed, giving him a kiss on the cheek this time, “Todays the day for it, I’ve got them.”

Shuichi gave Kaito a stern look… before calling over his shoulder, “Kokichi? Do you want me to bring you back anything?”

There was a bit of grumbling from the room before a pile of blankets coughed, a pair of bleary purple eyes peeking out towards the door. 

He hadn’t thought it was anything at first. A bit of a sore throat, he felt a little tired going to bed…and then Kokichi had woken up in sweaty shivers, kicking all their blankets off as it felt like his body was cooking him. Thankfully his fever had broken so quickly that he hadn’t even really had to go to the med bay, one of the healers simply dropping off medicine and some supplies to their room instead, but…Kokichi was still definitely feeling the effects. 

“...ju’gs ‘cause it won’t hit ‘er as hard doesn’t mean she can’t get sick…” Kokichi softly griped from his cocoon, not fully congested, but sniffly enough. But…he’d already lost that argument once and he didn’t have the energy to have it again. 

Sighing, he gave Shuuichi a plaintive look. “Ge’mme soft serve?”

“Will do,” Shuichi called, before looking at Kaito sternly, “I’m coming back at lunch to check on you. With soft serve.”

“My dutiful fiance~” Kaito grinned, stealing one more kiss, before gently pushing home out the door, “We’re fiiiine. Go. Have fun!”

Kaito ignored Shuichi’s little scoff, closing the door behind him and cheerfully turning back to the room, grinning, just, obscenely brightly at the grumbling Kokichi as he said, “Alright! Shuichi’s gonna have the day to himself, you’re going to rest, and I’m gonna take care of you and baby Miyako~ Everything’s gonna be fine, handsome! Today’s just gonna be a sleepy day!”

He wasn’t exactly up to eating much, but…a little bit of soft serve, especially if he was running hot when Shuuichi returned…excellent. 

Now if only there were solutions for everything else. 

Kokichi knew how unfair it was to Kaito, but he still couldn’t keep himself from recoiling a bit from the brightness. He knew Kaito just liked feeling helpful, and he was grateful for the help. But Kokichi was not in the mood for cheer. 

Stifling more coughs into the blankets around him, Kokichi groaned as each one flared his headache and general body ache. “I’d already be asleep if I could be… M’ mind keeps goin’ on nonsense rambles an’ it makes me feel wired ‘n like shit… Been awake since I first woke us all up and with my luck ‘m only gonna be able to drop off for periodic hour segments until ridiculously late…”

Another groan, and Kokichi pulled the top blanket around over his head, covering his eyes but leaving his nose and mouth exposed to breathe. 

Kaito grinned, though there was some sympathy in it as he went real quick over to the crib, peeking in– Kokichi might not be feeling sleepy, but their perfect little angel seemed to be sleeping contently since breakfast, and had only dinged Kaito twice before she fell asleep. Such a good girl…– before heading over to Kokichi, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Awwww, my poor sniffly-’Kichi.”

Giving the pile of blankets that made up his husband a warm pat, he hummed, “Tell me what’s wrong babe. Maybe there’s things we can help, let’s go down the list~”

There was another series of grumbles from the heap, followed by a sigh. “M head hurts… I’s like there’s a rubber band connected between my temples that’s super tight an’ is constantly bouncing, rattling the sore point that’s hurting at the back…and I can’t take anymore painkillers until 11.”

“I’m congested, but not enough that I can’t breathe through my nose, just enough for the pressure to hurt, but for some reason my mouth keeps drying out anyway??? Bullshit…” A muffled cough. “...’n I have a phlegm cough, that squeezes my chest and hurts my back and makes my head worse…and my whole body’s sore…and I’m coooooold…”

“I see, I see… okay, so, regular access to some water, and maybe a smoothie of some sort? Something that’ll coat your throat a little… where’s that medicine the healers left, let’s see.” Kaito murmured, getting up and heading over to the desk, seeing what they had available. Some tablets that would help Kokichi’s weaker immune system combat the flu, okay… they had left some of the sore throat candies again, but Kaito had a feeling Kokichi would be just as reluctant to take them as Shuichi had been. He couldn’t understand why! They were candies! Sure they smelled like cough syrup gone stale, but he doubted they tasted all that bad… and some low grade pain and fever reducers. Hmmm.

Congested in his chest, huh… and cold? Okay… “Babe, you ever try steam coughing before? Sit in some heavy steam for awhile, the heats supposed to break up the phlegm in your chest, let you empty yourself out a bit.” Kaito called back, dismissing the painkillers– time limits and all that– but grabbing the throat candies, going back to Kokichi and sitting by his side, “If you’re cold, some time in a nice hot steamy room couldn’t hurt anything, right? And if we manage to get all that grossness out, we could patch you up with some water and smoothies, keep it from getting bad again… could be worth a shot? Oooor you can try sucking on these guys for a while and letting them help. Look, babe! Leeeemon flavored.” Kaito said, showing the candies to the blanket mound.

“Nnngm,” Kokichi said indistinctly. A smoothie would be nice to sip on, and he really was trying to keep hydrated--he knew that’s what a headache at the back of your heart meant. It was just hard to chug a lot of water when he wasn’t feeling great. 

But…steam coughing?

“...are you sure that works?” Kokichi peeked out of the blankets, searching with a glimmer of hope in his cloudy purple. “Hot baths usually just make me dizzy if I’m not feelin’ great… But…if you could keep an eye on me? An’ I could hydrate up right after? Would be nice t’ be warm…” And…not right up against something, despite the mattress grounding him from the floaty feeling in his head. Kaito had given him a quick cloth wipe once his fever had broken, but Kokichi still felt sticky and gross.

He looked down at the cough drops with disdain. “...they’re so bitter, though…”

“Bitter? They’re not bitter, they’re candies!” Kaito scolded, opening up one of the rolls and nose only wrinkling up slightly at the smell as he said, “Seriously, the way Shuichi griped about them. How bad could they be?”

Kaito, because there was plenty and he could get more, decided to prove his point by popping one in his mouth.

…

…..

(oh god don’t spit it out)

“...yeah! Uh… good stuff!” Kaito grimaced around the candy, it just, like, sitting on his tongue. Ugh. He didn’t wanna swallow, but just leaving it dissolving there was probably worse. “Healthy! And delicious. Let me set up some water before we do anything next, here beautiful, your candy. Though, save one more for me, cause I’ll probably have another later!” Kaito said, leaving more candies outside of Kokichi’s burrow and, grabbing the half empty ice filled pitcher from the desk, heading to the bathroom to refill it.

He spat the cough drop out in their small trashcan cause bleeeeeegh.

“It’s not candy, it’s medicine, and you’re gonna make yourself sick if you keep saying they’re candies…” Kokichi grumbled as he watched Kaito pop one of the cough drops in his mouth. Having one or two wouldn’t hurt you, he knew, but it definitely wasn’t good to take normally. They were for soothing sore throats!

Sighing, Kokichi just looked at the few Kaito left out for him. There was an attempt there, adding in honey and lemon into the drop to make it more palatable, since you’d have to suck on it, but…they really didn’t mask the taste of the herb extract at all. Just kind of made it so he didn’t want anything lemon flavored after he was well again. 

And…it would help with the coughing…but Kokichi always coughed so hard it’d fly out of his mouth and land somewhere all gross and sticky, or it’d shoot against his teeth painfully and agitate his headache…ugh… 

Reluctantly, Kokichi snuck a hand out of his heap and took a drop, quickly nestling it into his cheek with a wrinkle of his nose.

“...uuuuuuun….” Kokichi shifted as he groaned, trying to stretch his back into a more comfortable position without losing heat. 

“Some good tasting medicine isn’t gonna make me sick, babe! Nothing makes Kaito Momota sick!” Kaito called over the sound of the faucet, filling it up and heading back out, letting the water cool with the ice a bit before he’d put it in a cup for Kokichi. 

“As for your earlier question… okay, I don’t know know that it works?” Kaito admitted, leaning against the desk and giving his husband a sheepish look, “It’s just one of those things you always hear growing up. Or, at least in Luminary it is. I’ve never personally tried it, cause, again, I don’t get sick. Maki would actually probably know if it actually works or not, honestly, sick days weren’t really a thing for her so she did all sorts of wild shit to get her body back to working form. I bet she’s done it.” 

Feeling he had given it enough time, Kaito poured the cup, before bringing it over to Kokichi, placing it on the night stand next to the bed for when he was ready for it as he said softly to his husband, “But, you’ll get warm and clean, and if it doesn’t help we can say we tried and move on. Do you want your smoothie before or after steam time? I can go get it now, beautiful.”

“Cept for what does…” Kokichi grumbled back, not even caring that his voice probably wasn’t loud enough to be heard over the faucet. It was a real blessing that Kaito didn’t get sick often, but he still did get sick. And Kokichi wasn’t going to let him be foolish in risking his health. 

The steam coughing thing sounded like old gossip, but…well, he was still willing to give it a shot. If Kaito was there to make sure he wasn’t going to pass out or whatever in the heat, then on the chance it’d give him relief from coughing for a bit, sure. He’d try. 

Pressing his head into his blankets, Kokichi thought quietly for a moment, maybe enough for Kaito to believe he’d actually drifted off to sleep, but eventually Kokichi hummed lowly. “After. I want as little chance as possible to throw it up. M gonna need all I can get from whatever I manage to digest.” 

A tired sigh. “...I hate this so much…”

…hmmm… if Kokichi had fallen asleep, Kaito might as well let him–oh! Okay, there was his husband. 

“Alright~” Kaito agreed softly, reaching into the cave and, peering in to his poor husbands sweaty, grumpy face, brushing the hair out of his eyes a little as he said, “We’ll do that then. Hopefully our Miya won’t mind a little steam getting in the room, since I’m not sure I feel suuuper okay just leaving her in the room alone… or! Okay, what if I went to steam up the bathroom now, closed the door, all that good stuff. And when it’s all nice and steamy, then we bring you in, let you get in the bath once it’s cooled down to a not scalding temperature, and we’d be able to hear Miyako without the water running so we can still keep the door closed…”

Kaito blinked, before recalling, “Or you can just let me know if you feel Miyako wake up, actually. I mean, my idea is still solid, steam wise, but I have to remember that just because I can’t hear Miyako doesn’t mean you can’t. Right?”

Kokichi blinked slowly before nodding. “I may feel like I’m in space, but she can still reach me, and I can still reach her. She’s seemed kind of confused why I’m feeling so bad--she can tell I’m not hungry, so she’s kind of lost on solutions. It’s very sweet, but I’m in no way holding her while I’m full of germs.”

After a moment, Kokichi sighed softly and gave a mildly happy look over towards where the crib was. “...she’s already a very compassionate person, our Miya. I’m proud of her.”

“Of course she is, she’s your daughter. I wouldn’t expect anything less of a Kokichi descendant.” Kaito said, preening slightly, always happy to hear about Miyako’s strengths. Sure, her compassion didn’t seem to stretch to not trying to tether dad all the time, Miya, whyyy?? But Kaito had a feeling that was just a matter of time. In a way, it was probably a good thing, her trying to flex her mind control abilities on Kaito as she grew up. Not just because Kaito was protected from it, but also because he wouldn’t hold it against her, and she could learn about the do’s and don’ts through him in time.

Kaito was sometimes curious, how that had worked with Kokichi. Had Kokichi just… forgotten what his body could do, as he grew older, and that was why he had stopped mind controlling people to get what he wanted? The answer was probably yes, but that also just didn’t feel like the whole story to Kaito. At some point Kokichi simply had to have stopped desiring to do it, and then forgotten he could at all. Otherwise he would have been doing it into adulthood.

Perhaps some of it was Ikou’s childhood lessons getting through, but Kaito believed some of it was just Kokichi’s inherent goodness. To have all this power on hand, that no one can stop you from using, and just… not using it? At least subconsciously, in such a selfish manner? That was just his Kokichi being himself. And he believed one hundred percent his daughter would match.

“And you don’t have to get your gross ‘Kichi germs all over her, I’ve got our Miya today. It’s gonna be a Miya/Dad day. Miya/Dad paaaarty,” Kaito coo’d out towards the crib, before seeing Kokichi had partially come out of the blankets to admire their daughter and eat his medicine, Kaito leaned over and placed a small kiss on Kokichi’s forehead, “And I’ve got you today too. Alright, drink some water, I’m gonna go fill the bath.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a slight smile for that too. It was always the hope that she would have inherent compassion. Would be the kind of person that was happy to see other people happy. But…it wasn’t a nature you could just rely on. And even then, so, so much of actual caring for people was learned…but it had been an amazing, wonderful surprise feeling for the first time Miyako observe someone and try to offer a solution to make them happier. Even if it was offering their therapist nectar. 

He didn’t want to wake her up if she was already sleeping--those moments were sacred and not to be idly broken--but…maybe later if it aligned that they were both awake, he’d send her some nice feelings from afar. 

“...it’s a little inevitable, since we’re in the same room…but we have good ventilation so that should help a little.” Kokichi turned to muffle a few coughs, wincing at the feeling of the cough drop against his teeth. “...alright. Thanks, Kai-chan. Love you.”

For a moment, Kokichi just laid in his cocoon, but with a sigh he started dragging himself farther up the bed, propping up against the pillows more so he could reach his glass and not spill water everywhere when he drank. 

Uuuugh…it all tasted like the cough drop now and…hhhh. Kokichi looked down, watching the small water patch grow down his chest. …whatever…

The point was to make the water steam, so Kaito let the faucet run very, very hot for a while, sitting on the side of the tub as he watched the water pour, purely on instinct every now and again checking the temperature himself as he ran his fingers quickly under it, wincing each time he did it. Hot. Very hot. Just let that water drain, let the steam build…

When it got to a good point, Kaito lowered the temperature to a more reasonable, if still hot, level and and plugged the drain, watching the water build as he considered the bath bombs and soap…

…thinking very hard (he didn’t entirely know what that meant. He just sorta tried to think his thoughts louder in his mind) Kaito thought ‘Kokichi? Do you want bath bombs or soap bubbles?’

Kokichi had added pillows into his chrysalis of illness, wrapping himself up tight and trying to brace against the thwacking, rocking in his head. If he laid still enough, sometimes it felt like what he imagined the swaying of a ship would feel like, though while he’d never gotten motion sickness from anything in his life, that sort of sensation just made his body melt into a horrible helpless feeling. 

It wasn’t great. 

…Kaito wanted to talk to him. 

Feeling a sort of curious desire from his husband, Kokichi gently reached out. {What’s going on?}

Kaito frowned at that. Okay… Kokichi knew he wanted something. How did this work…

Empath! Right, empath stuff was different from telepathy stuff. Emotions. Okaaaay. Okay…

Kaito licked his lips a little, thinking about it. He looked at the bath bombs and soap and… worried. If Kokichi would feel sick with them. Trigger more headaches. Worrying about bath smells…

Aah… Okay. 

{I don’t think the smells would make things worse--I’ve gotten used to Miyako’s so my nose is immunized.}

{Could I have a little bathsoap please? Not for a lot of bubbles, if I really have to get out fast, since they can take a second to rinse off, but they are nice.}

{(˶^ з^)♥}

Kaito nodded at the air, just ‘knowing’ that Kokichi felt like he had a pretty good handle on smell stuff thanks to Miyako, wanted a little bit of bath soap but not too much because he might want to leave without rinsing too much, and that he loved him.

Awwww. Kissy-face hearts too. 

Fixing up the bath to Kokichi’s desired preference, Kaito took a deep breath of the steam air himself before heading out, quickly closing the door behind himself as he said to Kokichi, “Alright, steamy bath is ready! Drink all the water?” 

Kaito, rubbing the back of his neck a little, enjoying the feeling of sweat on himself (he hadn’t bothered putting on more than sweatpants today yet anyway, having just thrown them and some slippers on this early morning when he made a run to the healers) Kaito glanced at Kokichi’s miserable expression, down to the small patch of water that had slid down his front…

“Let me lay out some fresh PJ’s for ya before I bring you in there, beautiful.” Kaito offered, heading over to the drawers and, knowing exactly where to find them, bringing out out a new set and placing it on the bed. He wanted to offer to change the sheets out too, but that would be too difficult to navigate keeping an eye on Kokichi and getting that done at the same time. So fresh clothes would have to suffice. 

Leaning in to his husband, Kaito gave him another quick kiss to the temple, before saying, “Let’s get you out of these clothes.”

“Mostly…” Kokichi mumbled, and he really had. As hard as it was to force himself, there was only about an inch of water at the bottom of the cup, along with the ice chunks, that remained. Not even about to take a steamy bath, it was important to keep his fluids up amid all the sweating and vomiting and occasional tired crying. 

“...”

“...heh,” Kokichi quietly laughed. “Dad used to get me these super thin salty crackers, when I got the flu as a kid… I’d never remember to drink water enough, so it was to encourage me. But they were really good, so it felt like a treat… I never learned what they were. Maybe I’ll ask him about it…”

A sigh. 

Kokichi twisted in his nest a little, trying to sit up again, though the change in elevation sent him hunching inward with a groan. Still, though, he tried to shuck off the sleep shirt he’d been wearing.

“I will, if you want. Or you can, like, brain project it to him, the poor guys used to it.” Kaito grinned, watching Kokichi give it an effort for a second before reaching over, “Here, I’ve got you babe.”

Giving a sympathetic little hum at his husbands distress, Kaito gently pulled the shirt over his head, tossing in in the corner with their linen basket, before gently encouraging, “Raise them hips, let’s get those off… alright~ just remember whatever happens that you’re getting a smoothie after this. Any particular flavor in mind? Any sorta fruit or whatever, ‘Kichi’s choice. Come here, I got you…”

Kaito drew Kokichi too him, tucking him into his chest as he picked him up bridal style, frowning slightly at the shudder that ran through his husband. It’s not that Kaito’s good mood wasn’t sincere, he felt pretty good that day specifically because he felt useful that day… but some of the emitting of that cheer was, admittedly, a liiiittle performative. Not a ton! But enough for Kaito to recognize he was doing it.

If Kokichi saw how his pain and misery distressed Kaito, Kokichi might be less willing to express it, wanting to be strong for Kaito. Especially considering the last few months? There was only so much Kokichi could hide when he was ill, cause illness hit his husband hard, but in an attempt to protect Kaito’s increasingly fragile nerves lately? Kaito just didn’t want Kokichi to feel like he needed to do that. So feeling the shudder in his arms, Kaito made certain to keep his arms and walks as sturdy as possible as they headed to the bathroom, carefully opening the door and getting in as he closed the door behind him– trusting Kokichi would let him know if Miyako woke up– and saying cheerfully, “Alright, the water should be at a decently cool temperature. Now remember, the goal is to break up and spit out the phlegm building in your chest, so~ Deeep, even breaths Kokichi. Let’s see if we can’t spit the ick out.”

Kaito said all this as he brought Kokichi to the side of the tub, sitting at the edge and letting Kokichi feel the water out himself before putting him in.

“I want a strawberry banana smoothie, and not one with spinach blended inside,” Kokichi griped immediately. He did help get his clothes off, but generally his body just felt so…dumb and floaty that it was hard to do anything coordinated at all. 

Thankfully, there was a sturdy, patient, loving man willing to help him through every step. More than willing, really, and for someone like Kokichi, who knew this part of being with him was just going to be an ask on his partners…it was nice that Kaito took to it with such gusto. Not glee, necessarily, but it did make them a good pair. And Shuuichi would be by later to complete it. 

As soon as they got into the steamy bathroom, Kokichi started to cough against Kaito’s shoulder, the thicker air tougher to breathe for his already strained chest, but thankfully it was a short fit. And while his breaths were now audible…

“Hooooo…” he breathed out against Kaito’s chest, dipping his feet into the warm water. “Hhgg… It does feel nice in here… Kinda hard on my chest, but…let’s see if I do end up coughing stuff up. Could you bring the trash can close? I don’t wanna end up hawking stuff into the water…”

Very, very carefully Kokichi slipped into the water, stretching his chest out and fitting his head into that purposefully built little divot at the head of the tub.

“Trash-can duty, Aye.” Kaito agreed, (?) as he went to grab the trash can, putting it against his knee and ready to lower it to Kokichi when his husband, or, well, if his husband wanted it, leaning against the back wall as he watched over Kokichi contently. 

The warmth was nice. Not the kind of heat that reminded Kaito of home, no, not at all, too wet. But still nice. He could smell water in the air. Water, among the smell of soap. Water had such a distinct scent, when you recognized it.

“I’m sorry you're sick, babe.” Kaito mused, still turning through his mind the scent of water that didn’t make him think of home, but did fill him with warm familiarity. “I wonder how you got it? Maybe someone in the dining hall has it. Had it. Or maybe one the trip to or from Dr. Mariah’s? Though I feel like you’d have shown signs earlier than this. Ah well, we’ll see if it spreads through the castle or not. Honestly it’s probably inevitable Shuichi’s gonna catch it. I just wanted him to go enjoy his day before he ends up stuck in bed too, really. My poor ‘Kichi and Shuichi… your names rhyme.” Kaito grinned, “I’ve thought that was cute for a bit now.”

It was nice, getting his toes to actually warm up. Half the time even if he was warm everywhere else, Kokichi’s feet would still be cold--one of the bummers about poor circulation, he’d been told. But being submerged in warm water…no cold spot stood a chance. 

“It could be anything,” Kokichi groaned softly, coughing shallowly. “Without fail, if someone has a flu virus, I’ll get it. We might get a sign, if we heard about a bug going around, or it could literally be something most people are asymptomatic to, but not to me… Honestly, I should just sleep in a different room than you guys but you’re all so stubborn about sticking around sick people…”

He turned, coughing more before shrugging, looking a little happier about the name rhymes. “It is nice, hm. Like…they probably have different roots and constructions ‘n stuff since they’re names from different cultures, but…just sayin’ ‘em, it’s nice. Like that we share a first letter too…double Ks.”

“Kaito and Kokichi~” Kaito said, keeping a careful eye on Kokichi, looking for a sign of bucket time, “Caleb and Koh~ … ya know, I picked the name entirely randomly. Caleb. I’ve always thought it was a pretty name, but it didn’t have any particular significance to me, before I picked it as my pretend name for the trip. Do you think it’s a coincidence? I’ve never even heard of the name Akane before.”

Settling in against the wall, Kaito looked idly at the tiles of the walls, tracking the droplets forming there. “...they were both nice to you, right? Did they seem happy?”

“Might’ve been a subconscious thing…or just random. There’s no way to really tell. I think it’s a sweet idea, though, that you would still be, like, yourself, even as a cover,” Kokichi started to hum, before snorting, indicating for the trashcan before he spit, his coughs into it echoing slightly. 

Leaning back with a shudder, Kokichi took a breath and rubbed his forehead. “Yeah… Like I said, I barely saw Caleb, but…he seemed sweet. And happy enough taking care of you. And Akane seemed happy too. Would’ve been happier taking me out on a date, but I think that’s just you in general, hun.”

“Thaaat’s right, get it alllll out.” Kaito encouraged, before taking the can back, peeking inside. “Gross. But, ey! Maybe a good sign? Maybe there’s something to this after all.” 

Kaito laughed a little, giving his husband an amused look, “You said something about that last time we talked about it, too. Akane asked you out on a date? Aww, ‘Kichi, did you turn her, uh… me? Us?” Kaito frowned, still not entirely certain how to think about them, “...us down?” He tried, deciding he’d try a few different ways of thinking about them out and see what felt right in the long run. Snickering for a moment, he then pouted at him, “Awww, heartbreaker. What, we just not hot enough for you?”

Kokichi rolled his eyes a little, though the effect wasn’t as potent with mostly closed eyes. “You were melting without all the parts of you together--you wouldn’t go on a date with, like…my left arm, while I was over in the next room in pain ‘cause my left arm’s gone. And despite her just being you? I think I’d keep turning it into more of a friend thing, because you are my best friend too, and I’m just not physically attracted to Akane-chan.”

“I wanna go on every date with you, though,” Kokichi huffed, sinking into the water a little more. “When I’m not all sweaty and in pain and full of mucus.”

“...she offered for us to hunt a tiny version of her in your forest together. Dunno how much of a hunter I’d be, but a tiny Akane-chan sounds really cute.”

“Poor Akane, friend-zoned by our husband.” Kaito snickered (Mate), before frowning, briefly feeling like he had used the wrong word.  But, no… he had said it right. Smirking with more then a hint of lechery, Kaito smirked as he said, “No worries, ‘Kichi. I am a big believer in the act of self-love, and man… for someone like Akane? I will happily pick up the slack. Is that weird to say about myself? Fuck I’m hot. Though, admittedly, I think I’d be a little sad to miss a date with you. We don’t go on enough dates. I want to take you on another soon… though, agreed. Preferably not all mucusy.”

Kaito briefly considered dating just Kokichi’s arm– like, okay, a horribly in pain Kokichi attached to the fantasy made it very much a ‘oh shit I need to get my husbands arm back to him’ thing, but, like, if Kokichi was just chilling somewhere? Totally fine? It’s certainly be the most unique kind of date Kaito would have had. How do you please and seduce a hand… get it a hand massage? Its nails done?-- and very pointedly didn’t try to conceptualize the idea of ‘melting’, something he thankfully remembered nothing about…

But he grinned wolfishly, looking just delighted at the idea of his husband running around the (mine) woods, chasing a determined little version of Kaito. Akane? Either, really, both would be fun. Like an intense game of tag.

… Kaito’s eyes suddenly widened and dilated. An image so strong in his head that his mouth went a little dry, and he swallowed hard. Stomach tightening…

Trying to force his tone into a casualness he didn’t feel, Kaito asked Kokichi, “You know tag?”

“She said the same thing too. And I don’t think it’s weird. It’s a really wonderful thing, to be able to love yourself. It’s--” Kokichi cut himself off with coughs, indicating for the trashcan again as he hacked and shuddered, his whole body moving from the force. Ugh…felt like there was something that got out of there…

Sighing a little, Kokichi shrugged. “...it’s good. Wanna go on dates with you.”

For a moment, Kokichi just rested his throbbing head against the tub, pulling air back into his chest. UUUUUGH.

…but then he peeked a cautious eye open at Kaito. “...yeah, ‘course. Played tag all the time growing up… Used to hide Denji-chan’s things until they’d play a few rounds; would promise to give ‘em back if they caught me…barely did. I’m fast.”

“You are fast,” Kaito murmured, his gaze sorta going… distant. Just entirely lost in a daydream now, entirely caught up in this new fantasy. Oooooh, okay, that was why the Hive!Kokichi fantasy had drilled its way into his brain so deeply. This was just that, but without all the extra stuff. Oooooh…

Oooooooooooh. Kaito grinned, realizing with a warm flush to the face, he had a hunting kink. Obviously.

And laughing sheepishly, Kaito asked, again trying desperately to be casual and not super fucking creepy about it, “But, like, okay… ever consider, like… sexy tag? Probably not with your siblings, obviously, but, like, in geeeeeneral.”

Kokichi blinked tiredly at Kaito. 

“...I dunno how comfortable I’d be doing anything sexy in a space large enough to play tag, hun. But it’s not off the table, if we find a good place for it. And we can try it out in a dream for sure.”

Coughing a few times, Kokichi sighed softly before closing his eyes. “Told you. Always gonna consider your kinks.”

Kaito met that tired look with a slightly abashed grin… but still a pretty wide grin regardless. “We don’t have to do anything like that,” Kaito was quick to say, still just laughing at himself a little, reaching out to run his fingers soothingly through Kokichi’s hair, brushing it backwards, “But, I’m just giving you a heads up, beautiful, if you peek into my head and you see yourself, like, running a lot? You might want to pop right back out, that is absolutely leading to something.”

Kaito chuckled, just delighted with himself. It was always fun to find some new way to excite himself. “How’s your chest feeling? Is this helping any? Still feel too early to tell?”

Kokichi shrugged thin shoulders. “It could be fun. Alter Ego chased me through my mind, once, to try and show me how to conceal things…it was really cool, though I think it’d be less sexy for us, taking it that seriously… But we’d still get the opportunity for things we can’t do in the waking world… Imagination’s cool like that.”

Huffing a little, Kokichi rolled his head into Kaito’s hands. “I dunno…it still hurts from coughing so much. But the water’s nice for the rest of my body, and it’s probably good that I’m coughing up junk. Better than gummying up my lungs.”

“That’s the goal~” Kaito grinned, before going silent, looking to the wall. Listening… before looking to Kokichi, “Miya awake, or am I just hearing the pipes in the wall?”

“She’s still asleep, but…”

Kokichi closed his eyes, doing…something he’d been trying to avoid, while being sick, just because it was a bad habit to get into. Closing off most of his pain and drowsiness, Kokichi gently reached out to Miyako, seeing what she was up to in sleepy baby land. And Miyako would only be able to feel the love and inquiry of her daddy…nothing else about how he was feeling.

{Sweet dreams for my sweet baby?}

Miyako looked up at Kokichi, doing some tummy time– and killing it, she could do this allll day. Wasn’t even tired– as she watched Little Lamb splash around in water that was mostly made of a mish-mash of colors. Little Lamb also looked up, it’s little black eyes staring at Soft Heat. Somehow it’s blank expression expressing confusion better then Miyako, who wiggled her little butt happily as she smacked the ‘ground’, or what there was of it.

“G-waaah!” She called up to him, informing him {Giving bath! Like Big Heat!}, more than happy to show off.

Oh no…oh no she was too cute!!!

Already Kaito would be able to see a smile on Kokichi’s face, but Kokichi lingered for a moment more, a sense of pride surrounding his presence touching up on Miyako’s. 

{Wonderful job, Miya-Miya! Just like Dad. Little Lamb is gonna be all nice and clean and warm and happy, thanks to you.}

{I love you, sweetbun, sleep well}

Kokichi opened his still tired, but absolutely glittering eyes as he grinned up at Kaito. “She’s dreaming about giving her lamb a bath. Copying you.”

Kaito grinned wide, “Oh nooo, she is not. Really?”

“She is,” Kokichi grinned, not faltering in the few coughs that followed. “Lamb is splashing around a bunch of colors while Miya’s above her watching very carefully and hitting the ground. ‘Like Big Heat!’ she ‘said’.”

“Wooooow… wow.” Kaito grinned, looking delighted.

…before a hint of concern came over his face, “Woooow. Wow…. she’s only three months old, and she’s already trying to copy the things I do… wow… oooph…” Kaito blinked, a sudden weightless feeling making him need to steady himself on the wall, putting his hand against it as he said, “ooph… maybe it’s too hot in here… are you feeling alright babe? You’re not dizzy? It’s hot…”

Kokichi nodded tiredly and closed his eyes again. Not that he wasn’t sympathetic to the realization crashing down on his husband, but…he really wasn’t physically in a place to even emotionally support Kaito on a grand level right now. Kokichi had had something of a crisis over how much their daughter would pick up from them before, and he had a feeling it would come again. 

“‘Be careful the things you say, children will listen’,” Kokichi nodded, hunching with a few coughs. “She’s always going to be watching us, especially these first few years, and is gonna try to copy everything. It’s important, for her to figure out how to be a person. And it’s gonna piss her right off when there’s stuff we do that we say she can’t. Hypocrisy is the worst, as a kid…”

“...but it’ll be okay, hun,” Kokichi sighed. “You’re a good role-model, and one of the best I could ask for, when it comes to who I’d want our daughter to emulate. Three months old, and she’s decided that one of the things she wants to do is care for someone else, and she takes that example from you. If I had more energy I’d be crying from how beautiful that is.”

“Yeah… yeah…” Kaito said tensely, taking some steadying breaths. Ooooooph… he had known Miyako would take after them, sure, but she was three months old. Kaito had sorta thought he’d have more time before she started copying their actions. His actions. It had started so fast… 

He reeeeeaaaaallly had to watch his temper around her. Really, really, really. He didn’t want Miyako inheriting his temper. It was such a miserable thing to live with, he didn’t want her learning it. 

…it was still really cute that apparently Miyako wanted to give her stuffed animal a bath because that was, apparently, the ‘thing to do’. He hoped she associated it with loving someone. She could be so grumpy during bath time, Kaito hoped she recognized Dad did it because he loved her, and not for any mean or negative reasons. 

Kaito glanced down at the bath, Kokichi wheezing slightly in the water, and Kaito leaned over to place a kiss on the top of Kokichi’s head, “Thank you, babe. I appreciate you saying that. And awww, my poor ‘Kichi… do you want some water? I’m gonna want you to drink more when you get out, but I don’t want you dehydrate in here either.”

Kokichi was sure that all parents’ first babies were surprise after surprise, even with how much literature and advice was out there, but…well, as Dr. Mariah often liked to say, their lives were uniquely absurd. Where most parents wouldn’t even really have to watch the words that they said for months, Miya wasn’t bound by her physical development. In her dreams, she could take any action that occurred to her so…it had all started with them tripping and stumbling over the ground to get running. 

…but it would be okay. Back when Shuuichi had first told them, there had definitely been things for them all to change in preparation for Miyako. But…they had changed. They had readied themselves as parents. And…the people they were were great guides into the person Miya would one day become herself, Kokichi truly believed. He was proud that his daughter would be looking up to Shuuichi and Kaito. 

It wasn’t a reason to not be mindful, but they would be alright. 

While he smiled at the kiss, Kokichi groaned slightly. “I don’t think my stomach can take any more right now… I’ll sip at some later, but I don’t wanna spew in the bath any more than I wanna cough into it.”

“...we never got frozen bananas this year, did we…”

“Did we want frozen bananas? I’m pretty sure I can get you a frozen banana, babe.” Kaito offered, “Or even just ‘a banana’? Some solid food will help, though I know you’re not really hungry, but that doesn’t mean your body still doesn’t need it, beautiful.”

Kaito pet Kokichi’s hair a bit more, before letting his hand wander down to Kokichi’s shoulder, massaging the muscles he could get too through the water. Poor, sicky ‘Kichi…

“I don’t think anyone ever mentioned them…just came to mind,” Kokichi sniffled. “Bananas dipped in chocolate then frozen…sometimes coated with nuts… I wouldn’t be able to eat one now, but…I dunno. Sounds good.”

Whining softly, Kokichi made himself available for massage, though he didn’t move much more. “I know… It’s just hard to eat when it feels like nothing’s gonna be in my stomach for more than a moment. And then I’d have a gross taste in my mouth on top of everything… I can try something small with my smoothie later, I think. If I’m lucky maybe one of the chefs’ll take pity and make me chicken noodle soup…or arroz caldo…I might be able to eat those… Prime sick food.”

Kaito made a mental note to request and bring up both, and just eat himself whatever Kokichi wouldn’t. Chicken noodle soup and arroz caldo. Arroz caldo. Remember, Kaito, arroz caldo and chicken noodle soup. You want your underweight husband to not starve to death? Don’t fuck it up.

Okay, good, that would probably help him remember it. 

Having successfully implanted the memory through fear, Kaito refocused on Kokichi, mentally reminding himself to try to offer a more thorough massage once they were back in bed. His poor guy. Though, it was cute the way he shifted around to give Kaito’s hand easier access. It was always a strange feeling, the mix between an almost guilty feeling that his husband was sick again, and the attraction Kaito always felt towards him. It felt like those two things shouldn’t mesh well, one canceling out the other, but it just… didn’t. Probably to his poor husbands frustration, honestly.

… he wondered if Shuichi would be interested in the ‘hunting’ daydream. Hmmmm… Kaito usually didn’t talk to Shuichi about his daydreams about Kokichi, or, even his daydreams about Shuichi, because he had, one, been worried about embarrassing Kokichi, and two, assumed Shuichi wouldn’t be interested. But maybe that was Kaito being foolish. He could have an… ally. In sexy fantasy discussions. He didn’t know if he didn’t try! 

Admittedly, Kaito was just letting his mind wander to random topics as he let Kokichi rest in the bath, but he couldn’t help but laugh out loud at himself again. God, his poor partners. He was insufferable.

Sometimes, if he was very still, Kokichi was sure that he managed to trick his body into believing he was asleep. And when he was asleep, he didn’t cough. Now, Kokichi wouldn’t actually be asleep, so he would still be able to feel the aches and pains of his body, but being able to float up into that almost asleep space was the best thing he could get otherwise. 

So…Kokichi was staying very still, curled up against the side of the bathtub breathing quietly against the side, even as Kaito gently massaged his shoulder and back. …maybe he’d ask, after getting his smoothie, if Kaito would rub his back fully. All the coughing went right through his mid-back. 

Still, he couldn’t help but feel intrigued as Kaito randomly laughed. “Please don’t say I’m looking cute even like this…I’m full of germy goo.”

“Oooookay. Then I will not say it.” Kaito said, a strong note of cheek in the answer as he looked down at Kokichi adoringly, “My ‘Kichi is gross and germy and not adorable even in the slightest. I am repulsed, and definitely not enjoying just spending time with you, getting to touch you a bit~ Not even a little.”

Kokichi sighed a bit, which proved to be a mistake as-- “Kkhh-khh! KhhH!”

“Ugh…” he groaned, body no longer tricked. Kokichi rubbed his face a bit before sighing again, never learning that lesson, and looked up at Kaito. “Alright, ya damn loverboy… Help me wash up so I’m less sticky then let’s go back to bed. I keep wanting to sink down and lie down.”

Kaito was quick to bring the bucket down, waiting patiently to see if Kokichi had more to spit up. Poor guy… though when it settled, he grinned, putting the bucket aside and agreeing cheerfully, “Alright! Hopefully some of that helped at least a little, but either way, bout to have a clean Kokichi and soon a nourished one! Sipping on smoothies and eating soups and whatever Arroz is like a proper King~”

That was weird. Kaito felt a sudden wave of apprehension run through him, there and gone in an instant. Huh. What, at the thought of Kokichi being king? Why? Hm.

Whatever, maybe it had been a coincidence. Alright, taking a washcloth, Kaito carefully helped Kokichi sit up, wiping him down a bit before starting to drain the tub and, turning on the faucet for some fresh water, using the fresh water to wipe the suds off him. Clean, clean ‘Kichi… “There we go.” Kaito decided, finishing washing up Kokichi’s neck and face, running some water through his hair and slicking it back, the short curls springing back into place despite Kaito’s efforts. Kokichi’s hair was growing out again ever so slightly, and just… Kaito was gonna have to have a conversation with him about either deciding to get it cut evenly or maintaining the original cut or something, cause if Kokichi just let it go like this it was gonna grow back so uneven. Kaito was his prince consort, dammit, he wasn’t about to let Kokichi walk around looking foolish!

But, that was a conversation for later. When Kokichi was more, uh, agreeable.

“Alright, I’ve got you. Annnnd up, up.” Kaito said, his usually warning that he was about to pick Kokichi up, grabbing a towel on the way out of the bathroom and carefully putting Kokichi down with it as he said, “Get dry, let me know if you need any help, I forgot to get you fresh underwear. Gonna go grab it.”

Saying over his shoulder, he asked, “Do you want me to try to change out the sheets real fast? Waku showed me how, I can get it done, though it’s not gonna be as tight.”

“Technically it’s soup too… Recipe that came over from Wonderland, ‘s basically chicken noodle soup but with rice instead of noodles…so it’s almost like a porridge. Really good…can be made pretty basic so you guys might enjoy it too…” 

Kokichi rambled just barely not incoherently as Kaito helped him wash up, coughing intermittently, and by the time Kaito was scooping him up into a towel Kokichi was more than ready to sink like a rock back into bed. Even if food would be coming. 

Leaning against the bed as he dazedly dried off, Kokichi made a negative noise in his throat. “Prolly should at some point, since you guys are gonna be sleepin’ in ‘em too, but…I really just want to lie down right now… Head’s spinnin’...”

Pulling on his new sleep shirt, at least, Kokichi crawled forward onto their bed, smushing his face against his still piled up blankets. “....uuuuugghh… Did we do it, is it eleven yet? Can I take my next dose?”

“Oh, babe, like, so soon,” Kaito lied, glancing at the wrist watch that had been left on the desk, “But let’s wait until it’s actually eleven, not just close. And don’t worry about your germs, beautiful. Like I said, Shuichi’s doomed, I’ll just take care of him next. If you’re still feeling ill by the time he gets it, you two can be cute little icky snugglebugs together. But!”

Kaito glanced at the crib, glancing between it and Kokichi… now would be a really convenient time to wake up, Miyako? Diaper change? Surprising dream? Just want attention… no? Kaito pouted as the baby remained stubbornly asleep. He wasn’t about to wake her up to take her downstairs… but Kokichi was in no state to come to her aid if she needed something…

Quick. Kaito was going to be so quick. It’d be fine, what were the chances she’d wake up as soon as he was gone? Nnnn… “Smoothie time! Strawberry and banana, right? With, like, a ton of spinach?”

Kokichi wailed at the injustice of time as he pulled on new underwear, slugging his way back into his blanket nest. It was only ever time for medicine when he was too nauseous for even water or he was dead asleep finally and needed to be woken. It was a cruel curse. 

“I hope Shuu-chan doesn’t get this…it sucks,” Kokichi groaned, before sighing and peeking out just enough to give Kaito a stinkeye. “Don’t be a jerk. I want something I could maybe stomach, not something that’s gonna make me trip over myself to get to the bathroom later. …yes, strawberry and banana, please. Thank you, hun.”

“...don’t worry. I’ll reach out to you if we need something,” Kokichi sniffed, sinking back into his nest after a nod towards Miyako’s crib. “N I can with my dad too…it’s not all up to you. Though I do appreciate all you do.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a mildly startled look, but, ah, yeah. Empath stuff. Or Kokichi could just see it on Kaito’s face. Either way. “Alright, alright. Just, if you do end up reaching out to Ikou, let me know if he’s coming or not so I’m not, like, worried about you. But I’ll be quick!” After all, how long could soup take to make??

“Be right back. Love you, ‘Kich, love you, Miyaaaaa~ okay bye.”

-

“Okay, so!” Cali said, putting out both her hands and grinning at the others, “Do you understand the rules!?”

“No.” Tim said, putting his own hands out.

“Not even a little bit~” Kimiko cheerfully agreed, giving Chase a few more pets before putting her hands out, the black lab putting her large head on the girls lap as she said, “But, learn by doing!”

“Heck yeah! Timothy! En guard!” Cali called, making a chopping motion at one of his hands.

“Uh, parry.” Tim tried, putting his hand straight up towards Kimiko.

“Shield!” Kimiko said, putting up both hands.

“No, no, Kimi, you can only shield for the big swings, otherwise your options are parry, step or kiss!”

“This game makes no sense~” Kimiko giggled, “but fine! I kiss!”

“Nooooo! You can’t do that!”

“But you said I could!”

“Yeah, but, but, that’s only like a last minute special attack sort of thing, you can’t just do it out the gate–”

“Hey. You three.” Maki called, jumping down the wall, the three kids looking unsurprised to see her just fall from the sky and approach them. It was very on brand for Tim’s mom. “Everyone’s putting on those mask things. I don’t know what’s going around, but here. Miss Kawaii asked me to pass these along, put them on if you’re going through a crowd or feel sick or something. That said, don’t get sick, I’ll make you run laps.”

“Why!?” Cali asked, looking stunned.

“She’s just trying to scare you into wearing the mask.” Tim shrugged, taking his from his mother. “Thanks mom.”

“I read in a story once that you can run an illness out of your body~” Kimiko said, taking her own mask, before saying with even more glee, “But in the story the drill instructor just wanted to use that as an excuse to torture a trainee who he didn’t like, who passed out and nearly died~”

Maki blinked at Kimiko. She… should probably have a talk with Tsumugi about maybe looking through her daughters reading material. At least a little. Damn kid.

-

Marigold Momota sighed as her Ladies in Waiting fussed around her, as they always did. Honestly, it was her husbands fault. The man’s presence always had the servants of the manor nervous and fidgeting, just by the nature of who he was and their history. The servants seemed convinced that some of that legendary Luminary ruthlessness was going to unleash itself, just, any day now, either from herself or Byakuya, and despite having staffed the manor for some months now the Novoselic servants still had yet to figure out how to act around the former King and Queen. 

Marigold kept trying to get them to relax a little. She didn’t really want to befriend any of the servants, but there was a notable atmosphere shift from servants who were just doing their jobs and servants who were worried that one wrong move would spell ruin, and god, the atmosphere was miserable right now. But every step forward Marigold managed, Byakuya pushed them back two steps with some offhand, sarcastic remark or biting reprimand. Not that such attitudes were unheard of from the noble class in Novoselic, but, well, they were Luminary. Certainly it was just a prelude to a larger reaction…

Ugh. At least the servants back in the castle had understood how to play the game. It was like Novoselic civilians had no idea how to handle aggression that wasn’t buried under a thousand layers of side-talk.

It was actually why Marigold quite liked this Whitkins woman. Oh, sure, the older woman was doing it wrong, she also wasn’t behaving correctly. But in a sea of servants acting like skittish cowards to them, having a woman overcorrect by being the wrong kind of affront and aggressive with them was honestly a breath of fresh air. Marigold giving the older woman an amused smile as the old housekeeper came in, bowed stiffly, and then went to go snuff out the incense by the window without a word. “I kept the window open.” Marigold reminded her with some amusement, as the older woman just bristled at that, instructing the younger servants to go bring out a new change of curtains, ones that didn’t stink of smoke. “And I’m allll the way over here, Miss Whitkins.”

“There’s rules for later pregnancy, Lady Momota, and that’s true even for the noble class. No smoke in your bedroom until it’s just your own lungs you’re playing games with.” Miss Whitkins huffed, going back to the platter she had come to the room with in the first place, bringing her water and a platter of fresh fruit and vegetables that Marigold had most definitely not asked for, “It’s only another month, I don’t understand why you can’t just wait.”

Marigold easily enough took the glass handed to her, sipping it– mmm. Lemons– before sighing, giving the incense at the window a slightly tired look. She really should reprimand the old woman for such plain talk, and for dousing her incense like that was something she had a right to do to her… but she couldn’t help it. She liked Miss Whitkins, the cranky old thing. “It’s a religious thing. At least, I believe it is. Never practiced much, growing up, outside of temple rituals. But incense was always burning around the temples. I just sort of associate the two now, I suppose.”

“Prayers all well and good, but Atua isn’t suggesting you burn out your baby's body with smoke in any of the scriptures I’ve read, so that’s no excuse. Eat the skin of the kiwis, it’s good for you, fiber.”

“It’s furry.”

“That’s how you know it’s full of vitamins, my lady.”

“Being pregnant is a bit of a tire,” Marigold admitted, rubbing her large belly. Not much longer… “I don’t think I’ll have more children.”

“I’d ask if that’s how Lord Momota feels about it, but that man couldn’t be more disengaged from your upkeep for your first pregnancy, so,” Miss Whitkins shrugged, leaving it unsaid but clearly meaning ‘Fuck what he wants anyway’. 

Marigold had nothing to say to that. Byakuya wasn’t around much, it was true. The man hadn’t taken long to throw himself into a new endeavor, taking the wealth they had been allowed to leave with and a loan from Sonia to start a new business that, conveniently for him, kept him entirely distracted from the whole ‘new baby’ situation. Marigold had already resigned herself to the idea that, emotionally, she was on her own here. Ah well. That was just how it went. Sometimes a soon to be doomed new king asks you to marry him after meeting all of, what, twice? And even though you can see the writing on the wall, what could she have done? Refuse him? The king?

Marigold wasn’t an idiot. She had tied herself to a sinking ship, and now they were out here in a lifeboat, paddling along with a little one on the way away from their homes. Marigold supposed she was lucky to be alive at all. It wasn’t unheard of, to just kill off the entire family of a regime you’ve overrun. Exile had been a mercy.

Glancing at the incense at the window, Marigold could admit, she had wondered if maybe Atua would have interfered, before the end. It was said that the reigning monarch was Atua’s true chosen champion… but, well, maybe Atua had chosen Kaede. And this was just the results of that. 

Shame. Marigold really had wanted to be a good queen. She had married Byakuya with daydreams of doing what Princess-Consort Sayaka couldn’t. Really unifying the different Luminary factions, making the country whole through a force of charisma and focus and communication. Like Kaede was trying too. Heh. Perhaps that was simply the delusions of all pretty, intelligent women in politics. Marigold could see the resemblance to herself, both in looks and thought process, that Queen Kaede had. That desire to be a symbol for the nation to rally around. Backed up by a partner that was willing to glower and bring the heat, should charisma not prove enough.

And like Kaede, Marigold had chosen wrong, her strong ‘partner’. Byakuya had overstepped and turned the country against him in his attempts to be a strong hand. In turn, Kaede had lost her ‘strength symbol’ the second the war had stopped, her Indentured figurehead running right back to Dicea when everything was settled.

And according to the rumors, the royal detective and royal assassin had left not long after, making vague promises to return that no one was certain they meant to keep. It was astonishing to watch, from a distance, as Kaede was laid bare and without the mysterious, violent veils that the Momota’s had always hung around them, in their deadly indentures. Appearing untouchable as the legends of their ‘monsters on leashes’ grew more and more prominent…

And now all those leashed monsters were free. And had all, apparently, decided to fuck right off.

Fascinating. Marigold wondered if Kaede would survive the first year. She wondered how the queen was navigating it all, the rumors, the pushback, the tests. Marigold wondered how she would have done herself, in that situation, as queen.

Still no word of an heir. 

Hmmm…

“Miss Whitkins?” Marigold said, shifting in her seat, Theor squirming in her stomach a bit, fussing, “Be a love, send a message to the Luminary capital administrators. Tell them to inform Queen Kaede that Lady Marigold would quite love a phone call when the Queen has time, desiring to make the first move to a reconcile.”

Miss Whitins blanched at that, giving Marigold a stunned look before clarifying, “... you wish to send a message to the Queen after losing hundreds of lives in a civil war with her? Just… months after having done that?”

Marigold smiled, though admittedly there was something wane in it as she told the older servant, “Would those lost lives suddenly return should I keep the good Queen a distant enemy? Be reasonable, Miss Whitkins. The civil wars done. It’s time to move on and make new connections. If you don’t send the message yourself, do be sure it’s done immediately by someone.” She smiled cheerfully as Miss Whitkins bafflement, “Thank you.”

-

Chisa supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised, when Tengan burst into her room not one minute after she had stepped onto the stone safety railing of the balcony. Her hair and dress blowing in the warm summer wind as Chisa stared down at the gardens below, such a distance. 

There was a pond, below. If she aimed right, perhaps she’d land inside. There was something to the idea. Crashing into the water and, if she survived the fall somehow? The water finishing the job on her broken body. Pushing its way inside of her, until she was consumed by it. Absorbed into it. 

If you die filled and surrounded by the water, did that make you water as well? Would she be something different? Something beautiful?

“You promised you weren’t tethered to me anymore.” Chisa reminded Tengan as the old man huffed next to her, bracing himself on the railing as he tried to get his breath back. “Back to your old lying ways, ‘Kazou’?”

“...I was worried about you,” Tengan admitted, looking up with a concern that would never match his face, Chisa giving him a blank look in return as he said, “Come down. This is foolish, let’s have some tea and talk this out.”

“Why?” Chisa asked, raising an eyebrow at him as she placed her hands daintily behind her back, clasping them together, unconcerned about keeping herself steady on the railing as she idly started to walk from one end of it to another, “Have something else to poison me with? Something to make me a version that’s more agreeable to you?”

“No… I have chai,” Tengan offered weakly, walking closely to her, following her movement. Foolish indeed. The old man wouldn’t be able to pull her back up if she decided to jump. All he’d do is go down with her trying. 

Chisa wasn’t entirely against the idea.

“Jasyme would be quite easy to procure as well.” Tengan offered, warily feeling Chisa’s vague desire for a murder-suicide and deciding to not let it scare him off. Chisa was a good sort. Reasonable, cheerful, intelligent, and good. It was what had, he was fairly certain, attracted the person he had used to be to her in the first place. 

If there was one thing Kazou had worked out, it was that Tengan had loved corrupting innocence. Breaking beautiful things. Making weak strengths. He loved to damage things. Seemed to consider it some sort of accomplishment. The kind of person who considered destroying a statue as much an act of creativity and skill as building one.

Foolish.

Kazou, he hated to say, could see the appeal. Building things was much harder, and repairing all the damage he had done before he had, uh, ‘woken up’ was a frustrating and sometimes seemingly futile act. He could see the appeal of changing things by force, destroying things until it reflected a reality that he appreciated. But for that to work, you had to change your standards of what you wanted the result to be. Had to be content that the destruction would leave behind its own sort of ruin. It wouldn’t make anything better. Just worse in a more appealing way.

That was what he told himself, when the appeal of just burning down the castle started to call to him. It’d be quite nice, and, frankly, useful, to burn so many people here. Would make the world a better place… but the collateral damage would weigh too heavily on Kazou. He wasn’t that type of person, anymore. He couldn’t leave a bunch of seedlings, not to mention Flora who’s minds could be changed, to burn just to get to the few who were irredeemable. 

And the queen was proving just… too tricky to get rid of on her own. There was a reason she had survived this long, despite making enemies with literally everyone who wasn’t a fully devoted Flora. If Kazou even managed to get the version of her in the castle? There were other copies everywhere. Not to mention that if she really wanted too, she could just bury another Flora and take over their body, worst case scenario. It would horrify the hive, but no one could stop her. 

(The dragon could stop her.)

That was the whisper. The bit of news that had taken the Flora community by storm, causing new fears and new anticipations of what the future might be like. There was a dragon in the world again. A dragon. Hiding in the body of a humanesque figure. There was a dragon. With all the mental energies of a dragon. A projection that could burn. 

A projection that could devour.

It was hiding in the body of a strong baby Flora.

No one had any idea what to make of that. Why?? How?? Was the baby a reincarnation of a dragon? But all the spirits of the dragons should have returned to the universe, as all spirits eventually did, dispersing their energy to the whole. For a reincarnation to actually reform as a dragon? Impossible. How?? Why now?

The infant dragon Miyako was all anyone could talk about. Between that and the sudden freezing of Seedling imports, the country was in chaos. Suddenly, seedlings were valuable again. Using them up and letting them die off wasn’t viable in the short term anymore, there were no new ones coming in. And with all the damage the death cults had done? The world was suddenly painfully aware of spore dosages and were protecting themselves against it. 

The spread of the hive was suddenly reliant on the old methods, Flora trying to find in secret species willing to turn seedling voluntarily, and shockingly enough, no one was volunteering to take the drug that had filled their newspapers with horror stories. Unless things could be fixed? Flora births would grind to a total holt in a mere hundred years.

Kazou had no idea what Queen Junko had been thinking, not interfering more with the Luminary civil war or working harder to conceal the spread of information in Dicea, but the ripple effects were already showing, and people were starting to get nervous. 

He wondered what Tengan would have thought of it all. Queen Junko had used to confide in her favorite pet. Memories Kazou was missing almost entirely. Did she have a plan? Was this all part of it? Was she just being careless, assuming it’d all hold together?

Kazou didn’t know. But he knew whatever happened, Chisa killing herself would be one more victim of his past, and so that was his priority as he told her, “If it’s being here, I’ve told you, we’re working on an excuse to send you somewhere else. Somewhere you can be–”

“Free?” Chisa asked, sounding unimpressed, doing a small spin on the balcony rails. “Where will I go? I cannot return home, Queen Kaede will have me executed. Should I run to Dicea and allow them the joy of banishing me again? Novoselic, where Lord Byakuya will have me tortured and killed in vengeance, but only after I’ve been made to give up your location? Does that sound good? Shall I hide here, in Danganronpa, among the hive? Perhaps I could burrow down in the Dead Forest. Let the roots take me.”

“Wonderland.” Kazou said, clenching his fists, “I’m in contact with someone from Wonderland, we just need to find an appropriate trade vessel and get you onto it–”

“I hate the sea.” Chisa murmured, spinning again. “I’d rather die to the pond, then to the endless sea… the pond has a bottom. The ocean just sinks and sinks and sinks… you never reach anything solid, before you die.”

“You won’t die,” Kazou insisted, before coughing. His old man lungs rasping through his chest, before it settled as he wheezed a bit… “Travel. Brief, and then a new life in a new place, where no one will have ever even heard your name. You can start again. Free.”

“Ah, Wonderland… where one can escape all their crimes.” Chisa sighed. 

“My crimes,” Kazou insisted, giving Chisa a stern look, “Mine. Not yours. You deserve a fresh start, away from the life I’ve ruined for you. You don’t deserve to die. You deserve a real chance, Chisa… a new life in a good place is nothing less than just a fraction of what I owe you. Please, I am begging you to take it…”

Chisa considered the old man. She considered him, from her ruined, lost life, standing among the ashes of everything she had once been…

She reached her hand out towards him. “I’ll make you a trade.” She said softly.

Kazou considered the hand, feeling the hatred in her, and asked cautiously, “What trade?”

“You will not die a peaceful death.” Chisa said, her expression empty. Hand still out, “Your body is old. It is failing you. I won’t ask you to wait until your debts are repaid, your debts are everlasting. But when you feel the end is coming? And there is nothing more you can do? You won’t die peacefully in your sleep. You will find another way. And you will tether yourself to me before you go, so that I may know vengeance has been done.” She said, gray, cold eyes frozen among the warm tones of orange and summer around her. “And I can be at peace. If a new life is a fraction of what you owe me? Then this is the whole of it.”

Kazou stared at her warily, tired. Oh, the appeal of being Tengan, who would have let her jump before even indulging such an idea.

(No. That’s wrong.)

(Tengan would have pushed her. And laughed as she fell.)

He took her hand, “I swear it.”

-

“So when they ask why you left the party?” Peko reminded Monoka, the two having just gone through this with Nagisa and Jatarou’s family.

The girl sighed, “We missed home and so we decided to run away from the party when we realized they were heading towards Danganronpa.”

“And why have you been gone so long?”

“We got lost and an old lady in the woods took us in until she could arrange for transport. Her name was Ayasa. She was nice, and we don’t know how to get a hold of her. She got a hold of Mr. Kuzuryo and he sent you to collect us in secret at an agreed meeting town.”

“Do you know why the party was heading towards Danganronpa?”

“I don’t really know, but it seemed like Head Secretary Tengan was scared to go home,” Manaka quoted easily, Peku having been going over this with the kids for months.

“And do you know anything about the bonfires.”

“That they smelled good.”

“...”

Monaka smiled sweetly, “Just kidding~ I wasn’t there for the bonfires. None of us were. We don’t know anything about them.”

Peko considered the child. 

It wasn’t the first time she had considered burning her.

The children had been rescued because that was what Peko had been sent to do. Rescue as many of the Luminary party as she could. And once free of the spores, especially taking Usami’s medicine, the kids had recovered from their sadism streak, though trauma and terrible memories had been left behind. The children were changed. Quiet, subdued. Their families would likely wonder what the old woman in the woods had done, to cause such a difference in them.

Better to assume the worst in some old woman, then to know the truth. 

But while the kids had needed rescuing, Peko… was not convinced Monoka counted among them. She didn’t know why the flora child had agreed to go. She had never so much as hinted at regret for her actions, and unlike the other kids, hadn’t needed spores or terrifying peer pressure to convince her to act. She had seemed to love her status as a ‘Flora Princess’, even if it was only because Queen Junko had thought she was cute and wanted to keep her around the castle. 

But when the kids had told her, despite Peko’s express forbiddance of them doing so, Monoka had not only kept the secret of their escape, but had demanded to go with them.

She said she missed her family.

Peko didn’t believe her.

But what could she do? The child was bring returned to her parents in an hour. And her parents weren’t anyone in particular. And even if they were, what could Monoka hope to accomplish returning to Luminary?

(What could Junko accomplish through her returning to Luminary?)

That was the thought that kept running Peko’s blood cold. Because that was a real possibility. That Momoka wasn’t here to return to her family, but under order from her queen. Her mind reading queen. Oh, sure, they had gotten her an amulet to wear to block her mind, but the girl could take that off whenever she desired. Peko would have embedded it into her chest, if she could have. And even then, she’s not sure she would have trusted Monoka anyway. 

Burning the flora was probably the safe choice. The right choice. Peko had considered it a thousand times.

She wondered what Maki would have done.

Peko had kept missing Maki. When she was in Dicea, Maki had been in Luminary. When Peko had crossed the border to Luminary, Maki had been on her way back to Dicea. It was… frustrating. She suspected Maki would have made an excellent confidant, in all of this. Could have helped Peko navigate this in a way she had decided Kaito and Shuichi couldn’t.

She couldn’t reach out to them, even when they were just a floor away.

They would have been against the burning of a child.

But would Maki have been? Peko didn’t know. She couldn’t guess. Monaka was a danger. A real danger. She was far from innocent, and frankly, was barely pretending to be anything then the monster Peko suspected she was. If anything, she seemed to find Peko’s distrust of her hilarious. Constantly poking at it. Daring her.

They were on their way to Monaka’s home. Alone.

If there was ever a chance to do it and get away with it…

“I sent Timothy a letter.” Monaka suddenly said, smiling brightly up at Peko as the two rose the chariot into town. “I hope you don’t mind. Me and the boys all wrote it together. Since we’re officially ‘back’? We thought we’d let him know we were okay~”

“Hey?” Monoka smiled, her sweet gaze as eerie as always, “Do you think he missed us? I’m hoping we can be pen pals now. It’ll be nice to talk to all my friends again~ Now that I’m a ‘good girl’ again~”

Peko gave the girl a wary look. “...that’s fine. Let’s get you home.”

“Yaaaay!” Monoka squealed happily, throwing her hands in the air, “Mommy, daddy! Here I come~”

Monoka was on her way.

-

“Hooooooow,” Junko sighed, lounging sideways on her throne, kicking her legs out over the armrest as she whined, “Am I going to get to that baby now? None of them would let me in! Outrageous. I make a great muse! They should be begging me to model around their areas, inspiring with my magnificent looks!”

“Yes, my queen.” Nagito agreed, kissing at her ankle, his chest warming with amusement as she kicked him off her, having gotten used to his queen’s fickle desire for touch. “Though… if I may dare suggest something as a lowly human–”

“Just talk you little weirdo, if I don’t like your words I’ll just have someone throw you into a dungeon for a few months. Not a big deal.” Junko said dismissively.

“Of course, as a worm like me truly deserves. But, my queen, ‘June’ is a mere disgusting peasant girl, right? Along with being a muse?”

“So?”

“So… they allow worthless little nobodies to join the castle as housekeepers all the time. If you can’t get a job as a muse…”

“Ew! You want me to clean toilets?” Junko gagged, giving him an exasperated look, “What, did you miss the dungeons? I’m not gonna degrade myself that far!”

“Oh, truly, a vile suggestion on my part.” Nagito gushed, looking disgusted with himself, “You could behead me for it and I wouldn’t so much as raise a hand in defense, for I know I would truly deserve it… but. My disgusting, lowly mind can’t help but note that… you do seem intent to do this yourself. Rather then sending someone more worthy of taking on this terrible burden then you, my queen…”

“So?” Junko grumbled, “What?”

“Well… if you don’t trust any of your subjects to go take care of the dragon infant… I can’t help but wonder if maybe you think that, from the way you all describe what that mind felt like, if you think any subject that learned more about the infant might… go against you? My queen? And prove one more terrible enemy added to some new, unworthy, uprising… regime?”

“... Nagito, come here~”

Nagito smiled warmly as he went around the throne, kneeling onto the floor in front of his queen as he smiled up at her, “Yes, my qu–ack!”

Junko gripped his neck, smiling just as brightly back at him as she said, “Are you suggesting that if I suspected a new queen had been born to the hive, that instead of raising her as my heir, I’d kill her? That’s sooooooo cruel! It goes against our traditions and values as Flora! You wouldn’t understand what an accusation that is, now would you Nagito?”

Nagito tried to answer. Spittle just leaked out instead, his face turning red, and then blue… before gasping as she let him go, collapsing onto the ground, “n…no… no my q-queen…”

“Of course you wouldn’t. You’re not even a seedling. You’re just… human.” Junko sighed, wrinkling her nose a bit at him, before sighing, “Return to rubbing my feet. I’m going to take some time considering if I wish to cut off your tongue or not. At least it’d finally get you to shut up about ‘lowly’ this and ‘sniveling worm’ that. Creepy little masochist.”

If Nagito was anything, it wasn’t a masochist… but he smiled up at Junko anyway, giving her a deep bow as he said, “Oh, thank you, my queen. It’s so nice to be understood.”

As Nagito returned to rubbing her feet, Junko chewed on her fingernail a little. A housekeeper… huh…. Egh. She was worth more than that. More than a toilet scrubber, more than a model, and definitely more than some new regimes fucking babysitter–

Oh.

Hm.

-

For the thousandth time, Princess Ibuki considered giving Katio a call.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe not though.

Princess Ibuki didn’t live in the capital. Okay, technically she did, she had a manor there and a wing of the castle, obviously. But she had been on permanent vacation on the island of Novis for, like… five years now? She had basically left as soon as Kaede was raised and established, and then BAM! Out of there! No more of THAT nonsense.

Oh, she kept up with her daughter, of course. Queen! That was… soooomething. That was something. Boy, was that something. Ooph. Well, whatever made her daughter happy. Honestly, Ibuki didn’t know where her kids got all this ambition. She couldn’t relate. Honestly, she didn’t think Leon could relate either. She had a feeling he wouldn’t have killed her, to be first in line, had she been born first.

Hell, he’d have probably gone and chased that nightmare puppy love of his. Ooooooph had that gotten out of hand. Like… waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of hand.

For the millionth time, she thought about calling Aiichi.

Or as she had liked to call him, Chi-Chi. Weeeeeird, cool, kinda creepy Chi-Chi. They had, uh, fallen out of touch when the war started. For, uh…. Obvious reasons. Which was a shame! Ibuki had liked Chi-Chi a lot, the creepy, interesting fucking weirdo! He had been cool! Had a real vibe to him. Had a whole damn cult devoted to him back in school, seriously, the guy could have started a harem had he been even, like, a little aware of how many people were tripping all over themselves for him. Had always seemed to take it in stride. Honestly, had always seemed to take it as a ‘matter of course’. Like that sort of attention was normal.

Chi-Chi had been a freak, but, well, Ibuki had been one too. They had been a group of freaks. She missed him, sometimes.

He was probably different now. They all were. Well, the surviving ones. At least on this continent? Uuuuuh… well, just her and Chi-Chi, she guessed. Queen Junko had been too old to join the school when it started, though word was she had had a daughter a few years ago since then, named Princess Junko. Weird, that. Endless Junko’s in that history. Probably a weird royal tradition.

Leon and Sayaka were dead. Ibuki’s chest sometimes tightened when she thought about it. She had gotten black out drunk for a week when it happened. Bye bye, big brother. Bye bye, big sister. Bye bye, any illusions Ibuki had still had, that their children, her children, were still children anymore.

It had all gone so wrong… Leon had changed. Become unhinged. Sometimes Ibuki wondered if there was more she could have done. If she could have been there for him more. Pullen him back from the cliff he had plunged off into. 

She didn’t know. Guess she never would. 

The phone thing was new.

Maybe she should call Kaito.

Maybe she should call Chi-Chi.

Maybe.

-

It was interesting, being a little baby empath. 

Sometimes– not always, but sometimes– Miyako was able to do something that Kokichi dreamed idly about doing someday. Sometimes, there was literally no difference to her, between being aware in the real world, and roaming around lucidly in a dream. 

Did it make her a little sleepy, to do this, not quite getting a full sleep when she was out? Sure. But Miyako wasn’t aware of the correlation. Sometimes she just woke up fussy, feeling tired, for, like, no reason… after playing around with her toys in her mind, sometimes jumping into other minds to play with toys there, sometimes exploring the red mountain in her mind. 

She liked the red mountain. She wished Dragon would wake up and play with her more, but just crawling around her was fun too.

But as she did this, it was easy– sometimes– to keep track of the real world. Keeping an eye on Daddy and Dad was what gave her the idea to give Little Lamb a bath. Little Lamb needed a lot of help with stuff, not moving around much. Daddy sometimes needed help moving around too. She and Dad needed to give baths when that happened.

Usually Daddy was in a better mood after getting clean in the bath– she could feel his ease, relaxing in the clean feeling– but today? She looked up in the dream, feeling out. Daddy was clean, but still sad… and weird feeling. Feelings Miyako wasn’t personally familiar with. Achy. Hmmm…

She felt out for Big Heat: he was getting nectar for Soft Heat. Fair. But Soft Heat needed more…

Miyako felt out into the halls, looking for anyone passing by…

There was a rattle of the door. Someone trying to open it.

Kokichi was dozing lightly, still not quite being able to sleep, despite wanting to badly, but he was still resting. Letting himself fall into that cloudy space where things weren’t quite as bad as they were when he was fully awake…or at least he told himself that for comfort. It was nice to believe there was some sort of escape he could find for his body. 

But, the bottom line was--he wasn’t actually asleep. He was still keeping an ear--and mind--out for Miyako and just…generally being aware. 

So when he heard someone trying to open the door--not knocking, but not unlocking it--Kokichi looked out of his nest with a confused frown. “Hun?” he called out, voice slightly raw from coughing. “Did you forget your key?”

Inside her mind, Miyako frowned. Come on, just… push the wall open. You know how. Push. 

There was a full body thump against the door.

Kokichi jumped, a little startled at the thump, and his gaze immediately flicked to Miyako before it narrowed at the door. 

Sick or not, he would protect his daughter.

Closing his eyes, Kokichi quickly sent out the current situation to Kaito before doing something that was…a little harder for him. Feeling out physically forward, towards a person he couldn’t see. 

Because the thing was…he couldn’t feel any emotions or intent coming from them. It was just blank, like someone walling themself off, or…

Kokichi sighed, feeling Katsuki’s weird brain…and a familiar presence. 

{Miyako. What are you doing here, sweetbun?}

{Soft Heat needs back rubbed.} Miyako told Soft Heat sternly. If she could have, she would have patted him on the head and told him to just leave it be, she had this handled. Big Heat was busy with nectar. So she was going to make certain daddy’s back felt better.

To Katsuki, she encouraged {Try kicking. Strong little baby kicks}

THUMP.

Kokichi flinched a little in his blankets, hearing something creak in the door. 

{I can wait until Dad comes back for back rubs, Mi-Mi. Thank you for looking out for me. But Daddy’s just going to feel crummy for a little bit--I’ve already gotten medicine that’s going to let me feel better every time I sleep.}

{But it’s dangerous for other people to visit, because they can catch what I have and feel bad too. Leave Katsuki-chan alone, darling, she might actually kick down our door.}

Miyako struggled a little with the concept of medicine. Was that like… the powder stuff they put on her butt? That was the closest association she could get out of Kokichi’s mind that she recognized. Powder for no little diaper burns. Which she wasn’t entirely certain what those were yet, because her parents had been very on top of–

“KATSUKI!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

Miyako gasped, her heart suddenly racing as, through Katsuki’s eyes, she turned and saw Big Heat looking… different. Then she had ever seen him before. Big. Too hot. Way too hot–

Miyako undid the tether in alarm, pulling back, opened her eyes, and went “W’AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

-

Kaito, who had been waiting for the soup to finish, had suddenly had his mind filled with warning that someone was trying to break into the room. That they weren’t answering the door and were trying to knock the door down. His breath had caught in his chest, but he had bolted up as soon as he could, putting down the smoothie he was holding and bolting up the stairs. 

He heard the sound of a kick against wood and, his heart thundering through his chest, rage running through him, he ran down the hall…

He felt like he knew Katsuki well. She was a friend. His first instinct wasn’t that she was murdering his family. But that didn’t stop the rage of seeing her trying to force her way into the room, no idea what she was up too, but not liking it as he screamed at her…

And flinching as he heard Miyako wail inside the room. Seeing Katsuki’s eyes… clear?

Katsuki blinked, taking in several points of information at once. 

One, her balance was pivoted, as it seemed she was mid-kick in…kicking down the princes’ door. Two, she was in front of the princes’ door, rather than two hallways down on the regular patrol route she had been on. Three, Kaito was enraged in front of her, and four, Miyako Saihara was screaming at the top of her lungs. 

Katsuki brought her leg down, but the confusion didn’t clear from her expression. “...it was not my choice to be at this location…” But even through her confusion, she still had the foresight to step to the side and allow Kaito in, as Miyako would not wait for her to gather her thoughts.

-

Kokichi heard Kaito’s voice through the door and…well. At least Miyako wasn’t going to remember the first time Dad yelled at her… 

(Kaito was going to be devastated…)

Making a little distressed sound in his throat, Kokichi half-squirmed out of his nest, reaching out to Miya physically (uselessly), and mentally (there’s the winner).

{Oh my sweet girl…} he mentally cooed, wrapping her up in a cool, soothing feeling. {Oh Miya it’s okay, it’s okay, Dad isn’t mad at you, you don’t have to cry.}

Huffing, Kokichi still tried to push himself out of bed.

Kaito stared, wide eyed and still more than a little freaked out, seeing Katsuki step back to let him through and Miyako screaming out. What the hell was happening? What should he do? Was it safe to turn his back on Katsuki? She didn’t seem… violent? She mostly seemed confuse– oh.

Oh oh oh oh oh okay. 

Stumbling forward, Kaito’s mind raced as he said, “Oh, okay, this is a misunderstanding. Oh dear, this is a misunderstanding. I shouldn’t have yelled, shouldn’t have yelled, uh, Katsuki? Please stay here, for a moment? Stay here, I just need to check on my daughter, uh, and I will, yeah, I will come back and apologize for yelling, please do not leave, okay thank you be right back.” Kaito said quickly, taking out his key– his hands were shaking– and struggling to get it in for a few seconds, finally managed to unlock it as he pushed his way in, looking back to Katsuki, “Wait right there! Thank you!”

Closing the door, Kaito looked back in the room, and said, “Kokichi, no. Lay back down, everything’s okay, everything’s fine, I’ve got her. Oh, baby, I’m coming, I’m coming, Miyaaaaa~”

Miyako blubbered in the crib, feeling a little soothed by Kokichi’s projections, but still, just… what was that? Why had Big Heat looked like that? What had… she looked up at Big Heat as he looked over the crib, reaching down to pick her up, and her face pinched up, crying louder. She didn’t understand. 

Kaito picked her up, tucking her against his chest and bouncing her as she wailed as he whispered, “Oh no, oh no, Miyaaaaaa~ Miyako, did the noise scare you? Did you hear dad yelling? Miyaaaaa~” Kaito looked over to tell Kokichi, patting her back and bouncing her as he said seriously to his husband, “I don’t know what to tell Katsuki. Should I make something up? I don’t know what to do.”

Kokichi let out a little breath as Kaito came in, just collapsing onto the bed for a moment as he caught his breath and steadied his head. He definitely was gonna need that medicine at eleven…

…Katsuki knew…some amount of this stuff. Not specifically about him and Miya, though she definitely knew that Kokichi had something going on… She was a friend. A good friend that…never questioned things more than people were willing to give. One that would be settled with an explanation that other people would be infuriated by. 

Lifting his head, Kokichi sighed. “Let me explain. Just…trust me on it, okay? And trust her too. I’ll explain more about what happened to you in a sec but…could you ask her to poke her head in for a sec?”

Kaito nodded with Kokichi’s request, still just… stressed. And trying to keep up as he nodded some more, patting Miyako’s back– she had a wet diaper, oh sweetbun– and murmuring, “Okay, okay. I trust you. Alright. Come on, Miyako, let’s go apologize to Katsuki, hm? Let’s go say sorry… after daddy says whatever he says. Gotta remember to wait to see what daddy’s says. That’s key Miyako.” Kaito explained to her softly, going to open the door.

It was madness, but Kaito didn’t know another way to act as he grinned cheerfully at Katsuki as he opened the door, “Hey! You didn’t leave! That’s great! Kokichi would like to speak to you, Katsuki. Here, come in, come in, uh, stay by the door, ‘Kichi’s contagious but, like, you’re not gonna catch anything all the way over here. Okay, okay, close the door behind you please, I gotta, Miyakooooo, we gotta go change your diaper.” Kaito said, letting the ex-hitman in as he went to the changing station, murmuring little platitudes to his daughter as he started to change her.

Katsuki looked no more enlightened in the short time she had been waiting in the hall, but there was something more contemplative, than just confused in her expression. Still, she gave Kokichi a wave when she entered. “Hello, Kokichi--I hope you recover from influenza swiftly. Additionally, I apologize for frightening you, and damaging your door--I will go through the proper channels to ensure repair.”

“However, I--”

Kokichi shook his head, cutting her off. “It’s okay, Katsuki-chan…though I will take you up on dealing with Maintenance. I’m really sorry--there’s some weird stuff and growing pains and you unfortunately got caught in the middle of it. It’s not you, I promise. But we would appreciate if this was top secret information.”

At that, Katsuki’s expression finally cleared, and her smile returned. “Ah, understood. Still, my apologies for the scare. Is there anything I can do for you three, while I’m here?”

Kokichi smiled tiredly. “I think Kai-chan was getting me some food downstairs… We have a crying baby to soothe, so…if it wouldn’t be much trouble, could you check on how all that’s doing? I know it’s not your job, but if you could pass on to Ikuo or Waku-chan or someone, we’d appreciate it.”

“Understood!”

Kaito didn’t add anything to that, at first, briefly content to let Kokichi handle all of this… before, the literal thought of ‘be a good example’ coming to mind, he paused mid-cleaning of baby booty, Kaito scooped up Miyako and quickly trotted over to the door. “Uh, Katsuki! Hold on!”

Cradling Miyako in his arms, Kaito bowed low to Katsuki, saying as he bowed, speaking loudly to be heard over Miyako’s crying (which was not a full on wail anymore but was still pretty loud sobs), “I apologize sincerely for screaming at you, that was uncalled for. I’m sorry.”

Katsuki smiled more softly, returning a shallower bow. “I accept your apology, Kaito. I hope that this situation does not occur again, but I do not hold how you have handled it against you. It was all actions of reasonability.”

“I have accepted one task from Kokichi, but is there anything you would ask of me as well?”

“No, no, the food would be a huge help on its own, thank you.” Kaito said, waiting the appropriate amount of time before undoing the bow, taking a step back, bowing his head as he said, “Thank you, I owe you a debt. Okay, okay, come on, Miyako. Okay, oh, sweetbun, nooooo, come on, we’re going to get you all clean and you’re going to feel better…”

With a curt nod, Katsuki left them be, and Kokichi let out a sigh. 

“...I think I need to be more strict with Miya…”

Katsuki really would’ve been able to kick in their door. It was good wood and made well, but the woman was built like a three-layer wall. 

Sliding himself back up on the pillows, Kokichi coughed into his shoulder before he looked over tiredly at Miyako. “She knows I’m feeling bad. She approved of you going to get food, but the next thing she knows to make someone feel good is back rubs, so she tried to bring someone else in for it…and when Katsuki couldn’t open the door, Miya’s solution was to ‘try harder’. She wasn’t willing to just wait for you to come back…”

Kokichi let out a breath, rubbing his forehead. “...she’s just a baby…but I have to insist that she stop certain things. It’s not safe for her to pull in random people…”

Kaito shot a nervous look over to Kokichi’s over his shoulder, before refocusing on Miyako. So that was what had happened… 

As Kaito wiped her down, Miyako was starting to calm down a little. Not settled, but her sobbing was settling into sniffles and wet whimpers, staring at Kaito with this hurt, frustrated look on her face. Looking at him like she didn’t know what to do with him. Had the noise through the wall startled her that bad, or…

…Katsuki’s eyes had briefly widened before they cleared. Startled. 

Kaito had never seen Katsuki shocked before.

The Luminary Prince considered his daughter a bit, before murmuring softly to her as he wrapped her new diaper around her, “You can’t do things like that, Miya. You scared dad very badly. Dad gets dangerous when he’s scared. He wants to be bigger than the scary things.”

“Lots of people act different when they’re scared.” He murmured to her, grabbing one of her blankets and starting to wrap her up, hoping the secure feeling would soothe her. “It’s why when you’re big and strong? Like our Miyako is? You have to be so gentle with other people. You don’t want to scare them. Katsuki was scared too. Katsuki handles being scared better then dad does, but it’s still so unkind to scare her like that. Daddy was scared…”

Kaito had no idea what, if anything, was getting through to his daughter. He just knew this was a lesson that he needed her, one day, to understand. So he’d repeat it until she understood, wrapping her tightly and wiping her face before picking her up, putting her to his chest and laying her against his heart as he paced around the room slowly, saying softly to her, “Miyako is big, and strong. So this won’t happen to our baby very often. But the feeling you felt when, for a moment, dad was big and strong? People like us have to be careful, Miyako. That wasn’t a good feeling, right? We don’t want to make people feel like that. We have to be so careful…. Shhhh… it’s okay… some lessons are hard… Miyaaaaa~”

Some lessons were very hard. And some shouldn’t have to be learned so young. 

She wasn’t even three months old… Some of it would get easier as she got older, since she would be able to reason more, but…they had a lot of lessons left ahead of them, huh…

Kokichi pulled the blankets up, coughing. “Our Miya is very kind, but learning to problem solve is a long, long process. One that Daddy’s still learning pieces of all the time too. Thankfully things turned out alright, even if it was scary… Our good Miya-Miya…”

He sighed, closing his eyes against the pillows. “...that was exhausting…”

Miyako didn’t entirely understand what anyone was going on about… but hearing her parents speak in even, soothing voices for a long period of time did help. Also, she was tired. Tired…

As Miyako whimpers started to devolve into little sniffles and whines, her eyes blinking heavy, Kaito headed over to the bed, sitting at its edge and reaching over to run his hands over Kokichi’s forehead. Both trying to soothe and checking to see if that had brought his temperature back as Kaito whispered to him, “I’m really sorry, ‘Kichi. I lost my head. That was too much excitement for both a sick and baby empath to go through… did you drink any water while I was gone? Can you sip a bit for me?”

Kokichi groaned a little but scooted up, reaching for his glass. “It’s okay… I didn’t explain the other stuff, so you just saw someone that, normally, we trust to keep us safe kicking down our door. That’s scary. I was still trying to convince Miya to let Katsuki-chan go when you came into the hall… I should’ve given you more information.”

Sipping from the glass, Kokichi tried very hard not to need to cough while he was holding it. And for a moment, he just looked over at Miyako’s red, wet face. “She’s trying really hard… Most kids don’t have to go through this part of trial and error until they’re toddling around. She’s trying to do so much with so much less development than her peers…”

“Well… that just means she’s getting a head start, huh?” Kaito said, grinning warily, the trembling starting to ease out of his body. H’ooooooh… what an adrenaline rush. Ugh. “And we both knew by now that she’s starting to try stuff. Trying to take care of things, learning from us. Unfortunately, she’s just learning what it means to play with someone too rough too early… or, not too early. Just…”

Kaito looked down at his daughter, who was peering up at them, her eyes slightly swollen from crying. Poor baby. A little bit of a cold cloth against her eyes would help her face not hurt later… “This is the trade-off, ‘Kichi, I think. Miyako’s going to get to do breathtaking things people will only dream of her entire life. Things the average person will envy… but the trade-off is that she has to learn gentleness early. We all have to learn it eventually. It’s not a tragedy, not really. It’s just the trade.”

Lifting her up, Dad kissing Miyako’s forehead, pressing his face against hers a little as he said gently, “But Dad’s still so sorry he yelled. Miya doesn’t deserve to be yelled at. She’s just a little baby… she’s allowed mistakes. Dad’s sorry. Dad’s sorry…”

Kaito was okay for a moment… but his eyes notably reddened as he held her ever so slightly tighter, whispering, “Dad’s so, so sorry.”

She just…had to learn everything Kokichi had. To be able to recognize the weight on her shoulders and understand what it meant. They had a wonderful gift, but it did come with a trade-off. 

Kokichi looked at his husband and daughter for a moment before he saw Kaito’s shoulders tighten and…he’d been waiting for this. Kokichi didn’t want to get Miyako sick, but…fuck it. They had a super baby. 

Shifting, Kokichi crawled towards his family, perching on his knees before he put thin, wobbly arms around Kaito, and one hand on Miyako’s back. “Shhh,” he whispered, a little hoarsely. “It’s okay… People yell when they’re scared, and you came to soothe her immediately. She was looking through someone she shouldn’t have been in. It’s not her fault for making a mistake, but it’s not yours either. It’s okay…”

“...do you want me to convey anything to her? She’s able to feel you, but…if there’s anything specific…”

Did he? Something he knew she’d understand?

“...can you tell me what she’s feeling? Or what she felt?” Kaito asked, wanting to get it right. It wasn’t every day, the first time you had to explain yourself for scaring the shit out of your daughter. He wanted to be sure he got it right.

“She seemed startled and confused, but…no talking for someone else…”

Resting his head on Kaito’s shoulder, Kokichi rubbed Miyako’s back gently. 

{Pumpkin? Dad wants to tell you something, but he wants to understand how you’re feeling. How are you doing, sweetbun?}

{Tired…} Miyako blinked up at big heat, frowning, {Red was too loud. Scary. Like [Doors knocking too loudly, strangers getting too close, the first time she was dipped in water] that. Different. Big Heat was different. Didn’t like it.}

Kokichi frowned slightly. “You were different and scary. Loud. And she didn’t like it…” 

Exactly what Kaito had been afraid of. Pressing more against Kaito, Kokichi started rubbing his back too. “She’s mostly just feeling tired now… All that definitely takes a lot out of a little baby.”

Kaito took a small little shuddering breath. Scary, loud and different. Okay…

“Tell her… that was still dad, but he felt different. Tell her I didn’t mean too and dad was wrong to scare her, I don’t ever want her to think I’m allowed to do that. Tell her dad’s sorry for acting scary, and he loves her so much, and she never has to be scared of Dad. It’s always a mistake if dad scares her, and he loves her so much. Is that too much information? I just want to make certain she knows I’m not allowed to do that. It’s not okay…”

Nodding against Kaito’s shoulder, Kokichi closed his eyes and just…let that all flow towards Miyako through intent. Knowing enough, personally, how Kaito felt to get the meaning right, and…well, maybe bridging his current emotions a little to make the picture clearer. 

Dad loved Miyako more than anything, she was his most precious gift. And it broke his heart to be one of those loud, scary things. He never wanted to be that for her, and it was a mistake he was this time. It wasn’t okay. He’s so sorry.

{...and that’s what Dad wanted to say. He loves you so much, Mi-Mi. He never wants to scare you…so let’s not scare him either, okay?}

Miyako considered that. Feeling the explanation in Kokichi’s intent. She had been scared, but Dad had been scared too. They had… scared each other? Oh, like when the funny toy had shouted so much from a little hand nibbling. Had that been what funny toy had been feeling? Strange…

It would happen again. No lesson sticks the first time, and Miyako was an infant. But… at least in that exact moment? {No scaring dad… Scaring not okay. Scaring is a mistake… no scaring…}

Miyako huffed sleepily, letting dad and daddy’s love roll over her, along with the lesson. No scaring dad… dad loves her… phew. Her parents took so much maintenance. Silly big heat gets loud when he’s scared. Well, you learn something new every day…

{Sleepy} Miyako sent out, deciding they all needed sleep. She always felt better after a nap. She tried to tether to dad to tell him to go to sleep. {Sleep.}

Ding.

Kaito sighed. “Don’t explain, I heard that one. Little miss thinks she can send me to bed, huh? Bossy little princess.”

Looking over to Kokichi, still leaned up against him, Kaito gave him a quick kiss against his forehead as he said softly, “Thank you for taking care of us, Kokichi.”

There they were… Kokichi knew they would be revisiting this countless times in the year to come, with endless variations. But…for the first time, they handled it well. And Miyako wasn’t left with scary questions--just the unshakable knowledge that though they made mistakes sometimes, her parents loved her endlessly. 

Snorting a little at Miyako sending a more direct message, Kokichi shook his head against Kaito’s shoulder a little. “I think I can get behind that suggestion… I needed sleep hours ago. …it’s my pleasure, Kai-chan. I try…”

“...but I don’t think Miyako was wrong about me needing a backrub either,” Kokichi half-smirked, falling away from Kaito to crawl back to his place under the blankets. “A nap and a backrub…and a smoothie.”

Almost on cue, there was a soft knock at the door.

Kaito gave Kokichi a warm, tired smile. “Let me just get Miyako to sleep and– oh. Hold on.”

While Miyako stubbornly kept her eyes open– ding! Ding!-- Kaito shushed her as he pushed himself off the bed, tucking her against him as he went to open the door, only a little wary what might be on the other side– “Oh! Hey, Waku.” Kaito said, giving the small woman a relieved grin as he opened the door a little wider for her, “Sorry, I have my arms kinda full, can you put the platter down on the desk? Thanks for making the trip, I’m guessing Katsuki found you?”

Waku, all masked up as word had permeated the castle, gave Kaito a both cheery and sympathetic look as she nodded, bringing in a tray of a tall smoothie and a covered bowl with an unmistakably warm, comforting smell. And, surprising for both princes, as it was not something Kaito had asked for, was a small pseudo-charcuterie plate, filled with a small arrangement of smoked meat, sliced cheese, and a small ramekin in the middle of cooked soybeans. And on the tray was a small note reading: Keep your energy up! Get well soon!

“Yeah, she flagged me down--had to get back to patrol and all, you know how it is, but I’m happy to make a pit stop for you guys,” Waku chatted, setting the tray down before giving Kokichi a teasingly pitying look. “Oh, you’re just miserable, Ko. Hang in there.”

Sighing, Kokichi waved her off a little, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah… Thanks, Waku-chan.”

Kaito gave the platter an openly surprised look– huh– before giving Waku a wide grin, “Don’t let him fool you, he’s got this! He just needs some food and a nap and he’ll be 100%! But, thanks again, Waku. Uh, and, if you’re heading back there, thank the kitchen staff for the extra?”

Kaito wasn’t sure if the extra food had been put on with him specifically in mind. If it had been literally anything else he’d have assumed no, but, like… Kokichi wasn’t exactly known for eating meats and beans just… on their own. That was very much a ‘Kaito’ thing, so… huh.

Giving Waku a small wave, whispering to Miyako, “Say byyyyyye Miss Harai. Bye byeeeeee.” Kaito watched the door close before adjusting his arm around Miyako and saying to Kokichi, “Okay! Smoothie and food! You want the smoothie first, or do you think you’re up to tackling the soup?”

“I’m keeling over as we speak. Cherish these final moments with me, Waku-chan.”

“I’ll check on you guys for dinner,” Waku hummed, just looking amused at Kokichi’s hoarse whines. “And I’ll let the chefs know--it sounded like they had been debating for a little what to send up for you. See you guys later.”

Watching Waku go with a wave back at Miyako, Kokichi laughed softly before coughing into his shoulder, sitting himself up. “I’ll try the soup… Might as well try to get some of it down while it’s hot.”

“...that’s really nice of the folks downstairs to put in a snack for you too. You didn’t really get much breakfast, did you…” Kokichi gave Kaito a half guilty look, knowing that it had kind of been ‘go, go, go’ since he’d woken his partners up early that morning.

“I had an apple.” Kaito said dismissively, there having been a fruit bowl down in the medbay that Kaito had picked at when he went back down to get some extra supplies the healers hadn’t brought up the first time up. Grabbing the bowl of soup with his free hand, he held it steadily as he whispered to Miyako, “Miyaaaa~ It’s sleepy baaaaby tiiiiime~ Time to be a sleepy-bye baby so that dad can eat cheeeeeese.”

Offering Kokichi the bowl, he gave his husband a concerned look as he asked, “Or I can help you eat if you’re feeling too weak to hold the bowl. No harm either way, beautiful, just let me know.”

“So not much breakfast, yeah,” Kokichi huffed, but didn’t press more than that. It was even harder than usual to push back on Kaito giving too much of himself when one of them were sick or hurt. But oooooh when he was better! Kaito better believe he was getting doted on!

Shaking his head a little, Kokichi nodded to the side of the bed. “Nah, I can feed myself, but could you put up the tray table? I’m more concerned about spilling over myself than being able to move the bowl and that would help.”

Pausing, Kokichi looked over Miyako. “She giving up yet? She really wants to see us sleep too.”

“She seems close, right? Every now and again I get another little ding in my head. One day she will notice that does not work on me anymore.” Kaito huffed, putting the soup bowl down on the night stand and whispering to Miyako, “Let’s go get daddy’s tray. Where is daddy’s… oh, there it is. Miyako, did you move it to the other side of the bookcase to confuse dad? Mean little baby, why would you trick dad like that? Poor senile old man gonna lose his head at this rate…”

Kaito had relaxed enough to start talking nonsense to Miyako now, setting up the tray for Kokichi, Kaito put the soup bowl on top of it before leaning down to give Kokichi a small kiss against his temple, “I’ll get her to sleep, no worries. She can’t fight off the tired’s forever.”

Standing up, Kaito bounced Miyako a bit, pacing the room as he continued on mindlessly, “Miyaaaa~ Miya. Miyako. Miyako, it’s been a loooong day already, you need rest, Miya. You need to be a good example to foolish dad and daddy. See daddy? He’s a sleepy man too. He’s gonna need to sleep soon. Brave little Miya needs to show him how to do it. Miyaaaa~ Miiiiiyaaaaa~”

“Thanks, hun,” Kokichi hummed, pressing into the kiss--and unfortunately, reciprocating was off the table for the time being--before he started digging into the soup. Taking the cover off he took a deep breath, a smile coming to his face as the steam soothed his pressured sinuses. Chicken noodle soup…perfect. 

Starting to sip, nibbling testingly at the tender vegetables, Kokichi watched fondly as Kaito did one of the now common room activities. More often than you’d think, Miyako decided against her better judgment that it was time to be awake, despite flagging physically in every way. Like father, like daughter, he supposed, though it was a horrible habit to retroactively adopt. 

“I need an example, Miya. How am I supposed to sleep and get better? I have no idea--if only there was a perfect little princess to show me how,” Kokichi nodded along with Kaito’s bouncing song, a smile creeping along the corners of his lips as he ate.

“See? Seeeee, Miya? Daddy needs you, princess. My Miyako. The good example~ My Miyaaaaa~ Everything for Miya…” Kaito’s voice trailed off, a flicker of confusion at that. A vague sense of dejavu, like he had said something exactly like that word for word once… but he couldn’t remember the context…

But he looked down at familiar little snuffling sounds, and his relieved grin took his mind off whatever he was trying to remember, whispering to her, “Theeeere we go. Such a good girl. You’re allowed to make mistakes, Miyako. We love you, now and forever. You’re already trying so hard. We’re so proud of you, baby girl. It’s time to be asleep, sweetbun… until I have to wake you up in a few hours for food.” Kaito laughed weakly, not looking forward to that. After this much activity? She was going to be so grumpy to be woken up. Ah well…

“Let’s go… we’re going dooown. Alright, there we go. My good Miyako…” Laying her down, Kaito put Little Lamb next to her, giving her an adoring look for a moment… before his own stomach reminded him that there was food waiting for him too.

Heading back to the platter, Kaito considered the arrangement before just picking up the platter entirely, grabbing the desk chair and bringing it by the bedside and, leaving the platter on his lap, immediately going for the soybeans, enjoying the process of popping them open, sighing happily around the snacks. “It really was nice of them. I never really think about asking for snacks when I’m down there. I guess I just never feel okay asking for extra stuff for me with them, I know most of them don’t like me. Feels weird to ask for extra, ya know?”

“Wooo!” Kokichi cheered in a whisper as he saw Kaito heading back towards the crib. And once again a point for Team Dad, successfully lulling Miyako to sleep…for now. And hopefully to sleep for real, and not for her to go dream hopping, because then they were just in for a mega-grumpy Miya next meal time. A level of grumpiness all three of them feared. 

…man he was tired. 

For a moment, Kokichi just enjoyed having a mid-morning snack with Kaito, though he shrugged a bit at Kaito’s observation. “I mean…it is their job to feed everyone in the castle, and that doesn’t just mean around meals. If we’re not allowed to go poking around the pantry, then we get to ask for snacks--that’s the trade.”

“...but it was really nice of them to send up a snack for you,” he hummed. “Maybe a sign that most people on staff don’t really care about whatever feud you had before--you do go down to help out enough that I’d think at least some people other than Chako think you’re cool.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Kaito said, not exactly sounding certain. He had never made an effort to make amends, too long in his hurt feelings, and he sorta felt like it was too late to try now. That he had just… left it too long. 

It didn’t help that the incident was wrapped up in other things that had been for a really long time too difficult for Kaito to think about. The maddening grief of his parents, and the guilt for that grief. The sheer desire to just… hide. To just disappear somewhere where no one could judge him. 

That day had been hard. Sometimes Kaito felt like that day had just sorta… ruined him. Scarred an important part of him. Everything had changed after that. Kaito had never really felt the same since that day.

He wondered, if souls were physical things, if all that stuff showed on you? If they were actual scars? It felt like they could be. Pain like that felt so searing… how could it not leave a mark?

Kaito blinked, refocusing. He had gotten too deep into his own head. He needed to grab some water for himself, he hadn’t drunk anything that day. Putting the platter on the bed, Kaito went to pour himself some water and then, since he had the pitcher anyway, refilled Kokichi’s glass. “It helps to be married to you~” Kaito admitted, giving Kokichi a warm look, “People love you. It’s still so fun to watch you get, like, mobbed occasionally. People get so excited to see you at festivals and events and such. Their Light of Dicea. It’s hard not to get caught up in their excitement, it’s so cool. Does it ever get overwhelming?”

Kokichi felt a wave of…lost melancholy, was the best way he could describe it, come over Kaito, but he didn’t mention anything. He was there if Kaito wanted to talk, and Kaito knew that. But if Kokichi had to guess, Kaito wouldn’t want to talk about anything “down” while Kokichi was sick, for worry of stressing him out. Which was silly, as Kokichi would always listen to Kaito, regardless if the vibe was right, but…well, pushing would upset Kaito more, most likely. 

They’d been having a lot of sad conversations lately, to match the moods Kaito had been slipping into a lot, so…they didn’t need to have every conversation one after another. They could have breathing room. 

Munching on a mouthful of noodles, Kokichi gave Kaito a thankful look as he refilled his water, before humming shortly. “Mm, sometimes. Like, when people are actually mobbing? That’s constantly just, like, whoa. You know how I feel about it--I’m just a guy. But…it is nice to see people get so excited. As long as people keep it realistic, I guess I’m happy to be a chosen symbol--even if I’ll keep reminding everyone that everyone in administration is what keeps the country running.”

“I mean, that’s how your dad gets it done, right? The Aiichi one.” Kaito said between sips of water, sitting back down and grabbing some cheese from the platter– mmmm. He really did love the snacks– as he settled in, “Like, his big thing is people can trust him. That’s why he does all that outreach stuff and let’s people talk to him however. He’s someone anyone can trust. But Hideki and the rest do a lot of the logistic stuff?”

“Pretty much,” Kokichi hummed, slurping up his soup with a nod. “He’s a people person and a ‘big idea’ guy. He goes to weddings and funerals and big opening events and anniversaries, talks to the people there…makes everyone feel special and heard. Like…it’s well and good for there to be legal channels for anyone to make changes in the country, but if they feel like no one’s gonna listen to their ideas? That they don’t matter? Then they’re not gonna tell anyone those ideas, and the world will be worse off for it. My father inspires that sort of confidence that people are actually listening.”

“And part of that is more than just talkin’ with folks, which is where the big idea stuff comes in. He’ll present those ideas from folks to the rest of administration and be like, ‘okay! Here’s an idea; how do we make it happen?’ And then…the ‘make it happen’ is what the rest of us do, though Aiichi helps out too. A lot of what Hideki-ji and I, actually, do is greasing the wheels for…all the stuff in the background. The things that aren’t new, but still need to be done--maintenance records and market research and all that. Everyday life stuff that makes it so this is what everyday life is allowed to be.”

Shrugging a little, Kokichi explained, “Aiichi’s the guy that gets people excited about having a big feast for Unity, admin organizes the chefs so they can plan the meal, and sources all the food, and then Hideki-ji and I made sure that our farms made all the food in the first place, and enough of it so the food isn’t gonna be outrageously expensive, so other people can buy the same things too.”

“It’s a good process. Not that I’m telling you anything new.” Kaito chuckled, grabbing some more soybeans before saying, “Do you wanna try one of these? If you haven’t before, I mean. They’re really good finger food, and it’s fun to pop them from the bottom. And they taste so good.”

Kaito popped a few more open, chewing on them a bit, enjoying the calm and quiet of this moment. The nice moments were nice. Had to enjoy them when they happened… he snickered, giving Kokichi a coy look, “You’re filling up on soup and smoothies, so I gotta warn ya, ‘Kichi, when Shuichi comes back with ice cream, I may just let ya sleep through it. Eat it all up myself.”

They were all things that needed to happen, and Kokichi thought it was a good division of labor. He just…worried about the day Aiichi decided to retire. His uncle’s retirement would be a huge blow to administration, the day it happened--Kokichi had very much modeled his productivity of taking on an entire department’s workload himself off Hideki, and the older man did it well. But…well, Kokichi had been able to model his workload. They would probably need a dozen people to fill the gap Hideki would leave, and there would be mistakes and confusion as they tried to fill shoes that had carved out a flow over nearly the past thirty years, but…they would be able to make up for the work he wouldn’t be doing. 

But Kokichi knew he wasn’t his father. And despite the people crowding him, excited to talk with the Light of Dicea…no one was able to inspire the Dicean people like Aiichi. The belief and comradery he was able to drum up with people was special. And when he stepped down…Kokichi would be a different leader. And there wouldn’t be anyone to fill the spot Aiichi would leave. 

It was different from Kokichi’s past fears of not being enough as a leader. But it was an anxiety that did keep him up some nights. His father wouldn’t be around forever…they would have to find a new way forward.

“I’m good with my soup, hun,” Kokichi shook his head, munching on a tender carrot for emphasis. Though, he soon pouted at Kaito. “You better not. I’ll cry for real, and it’ll be such a legitimate sadness that Miya will wake up to cry too, and then I’ll feel horrible about waking her back up and making her cry.”

Kaito chuckled at that, “Sure, sure. But you better remember you said that when you’re all annoyed I’m waking you up for ice cream. Absolutely ending up the bad guy either way there, I can already see it coming. Big, mean Kaito waking me up, big, mean Kaito eating my ice cream. Such a bully.”

Kaito was starting to really get into his appetite, and the meats and cheeses were starting to disappear fast. Kaito enjoyed good food as much as anyone, but he tended to not be the savoring type when he was hungry, eating it all up like a vacuum. Though, what he was tasting? Tasted great. He really hoped Waku passed along his thanks.

“Biggest bully, wanting his husband to be fed with healthy food and rested so the flu stops beating him up.” Teasingly grumbling, Kokichi set his soup aside, eating about as much as he could before sipping at his smoothie, determined to drink at least a little before sleep dragged him under. 

“...mm, you have enough here to keep you entertained while I’m sleeping?” Kokichi asked, blinks already starting to slow. Much like Kaito’s appetite, Kokichi’s stamina for staying awake diminished rapidly once he started getting drowsy. “Books, your painting supplies…still haven’t finished that puzzle in the corner…”

“I will probably not fill the room with paint fumes while you’re sick, beautiful. But, you don’t have to worry about me. Kaito Ouma Momota can keep himself company~” Kaito assured Kokichi, sighing contently as he ate the last of the meats. Ah, they never lasted long enough… still a few cheeses at least. And sooooy beans. “Watch, you’ll wake up and that puzzle’s gonna be done. I’ll have started on a new puzzle. Beat the crud out of some puzzles.”

Noting Kokichi’s heavier blinking eyes, Kaito grabbed the bowl of soup, giving Kokichi a small kiss on the cheek and murmuring, “Good job, ‘Kichi,” before bringing it back over to the desk. “I can still try to rub your back for you as you go to sleep. Or we can save that for when you wake up later. It’s up to you beautiful, I am at your call.”

“You could kick any puzzle’s butt. Professional puzzle butt-kicker, Kaito Ouma Momota…” 

Sighing softly, Kokichi snuggled back down the bed and nodded into his pillows. “Now, please. It makes me happy, going to sleep with you nearby… I love you, Kai-chan. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Got it, beautiful.” Kaito said, cleaning up the rest of the food real quick before heading back, leaning down to kiss the side of his head and his neck real quick, soft, lingering touches as he said against his ear, “I love you too, Kokichi. And it’s a joy, beautiful. I like spending time with you. Even if I gotta use you feeling icky as a chance to do so. Your Kaito’s a brute like that.”

“Alright, side or stomach, beautiful. Get comfy, it’s massage time. Oh! Oh, we got lotion, where is it… ha! There we go. Lotion for ‘Kichi~.”

-

When Shuichi returned with soft serve, he wasn’t entirely surprised to see the room was basically silent, Kokichi passed out with a nest of blankets around him, Miyako snuffling softly in a full wrap in her crib. Kaito was sitting at the window seat, giving Shuichi a soft smile before putting his finger up to his mouth, whispering, “It’s been a tough morning. Give them a little bit longer. I’m going to wake Miya up for feeding in just a minute, and Kokichi needs to take some painkillers when he wakes up too.”

“Okay… I’ve brought ice cream.” Shuichi replied softly, putting the bag on the desk. Peering at Kaito, this time he was surprised to see what Kaito was using as a reading material. “Is that one of Kokichi’s art books?”

“Yeah… I just felt like looking at some of his drawings.” Kaito admitted, shrugging sheepishly, “I know, it’s a little intrusive, but… I don’t think he’ll mind. Come here, come here, come look at this one, it’s cute.”

Amused, Shuichi went over, peering over Kaito’s should as Kaito moved the book at an angle to show Shuichi the page.

It was one of Kokichi’s little cartoons, clear just from the vibrance of color since he tended to keep his life studies to black and white, if not muted colors. There were two little figures, one more humanoid, one…well, it has was clearly looked like bunny ears, so likely some kind of rabbit creature. The duo were emerging from a tunnel in a strange land, all of the landscape geometric, but somehow also conveying a ‘bounciness’. Electric-looking lines ran through the green sky, though the two figures--they style in which they were drawn could only be described as ‘scrungly’--unbothered with their wobbly smiles as they regarded the cubic fruit trees and zig-zagging rivers.

“Hmmm. Wonder what inspired this one?” Shuichi mused, his eyes immediately drawn to the electric lines. Fascinating, he wondered what the thought process was of hanging electric wires in long lines in the air like that…

“From his creative little noggin, I bet.” Kaito grinned, the small lines under his eyes folding slightly at the width of the grin. He looked tired, but otherwise okay as he pointed to the rabbit and said, “What do you think the odds are that’s Smug Rabbit?”

“Do you suppose the rabbit doll had a name before you just decided it wanted to steal cuddles with your husband and named it accordingly?” Shuichi asked, putting his arm around Kaito’s shoulder and leaning against him a little, watching as Kaito turned the page, looking at more drawings. 

“Maybe. None I’ve ever heard Kokichi use. And Smug Rabbit isn’t a name, it’s a descriptor. An apt one. Like Little Lamb.”

“Do you feel like Little Lamb is staring at you sometimes too?”

“Sometimes.” Kaito shrugged, “Those little black eyes, ya know? Who knows where they’re looking.”

“Historically? Nowhere.”

“Yeah, yeah…” There was something mildly wary as Kaito glanced away from the drawings, at Kokichi and Miyako… before taking a stealing breath, closing the notebook. “Okay. Round two. Just a warning? Miyako might be a little grumpy when she wakes up, she kinda had a fit not too long after you left, it took a awhile to calm her down. It was a whole thing, I’ll explain more later… and Kokichi might be kinda out of it too. Lots of excitement. Nectar for Miyako, pain pills for Kokichi… how are you?” Kaito paused, giving Shuichi an inquiring look, “Sorry, I didn’t even ask how your mornings been. Just because you’re not sick yet doesn’t mean you don’t deserve attention too, handsome.”

“Yet?” Shuichi asked dryly.

“How was your morning?” Kaito asked, taking Shuichi’s hands and kissing at his palms a little, nuzzling his face into Shuichi’s hands as he grinned up at him, “Did you do anything nice?”

“Went to the study, took a nap and read a bit with Nini.” Shuichi said, rubbing his thumb up and down Kaito’s cheek. “Nothing exciting.”

“Did you at least enjoy it?”

“It was fine. I’d have rather been here helping, especially if you guys had a tough morning.”

“It was under control… Kokichi took care of it.” Kaito sighed, enjoying the feeling of leaning his head into Shuichi’s hands, closing his eyes for a moment, “...I’m sorry you didn’t have fun. I just… we don’t all have to be here…”

Shuichi sighed, hugging around Kaito, holding him loosely and resting his head against his shoulder as he said, “It was fine. I relaxed. But now I’m back and I can help. Do you want to handle Kokichi or Miyako?”

“.... Miyako.” Kaito decided, holding him back, “You and Kokichi can have fun and relax together eating ice cream after pain pills, I’m not a big fan of ice cream anyway if Miyako needs time and encouragement to eat. Okay. Thank you, Shuichi.”

“Hmm.” Shuichi hummed, squeeing Kaito a bit before disentangling himself, heading over to the bed. He grabbed the pain killers from the desk on the way, having a few ready and the glass waiting as he went to gently shake Kokichi awake. “Kokichi… hey, it’s Shuichi… Kokichi…”

Kokichi sucked in a small breath before turning away--but not necessarily to rebuff Shuuichi. Now muffled into the bedspread, deep, gooey coughs rattled from Kokichi’s chest, prompting a full-body shudder even as the sounds ended. But the bravest hero of them all, Kokichi tiredly turned back around, squinting up at Shuuichi with an attempt of a smile. 

“Hey, Shuu-chan… Hope you--hhk--had a good morning…”

It wasn’t worse than before, at least. But Kokichi could feel pain and dizziness thunder down the front of his head, making him swallow back nausea even just lying down. 

“How’s Nini doin’?”

“I did,” Shuichi smiled, holding up the glass of water meaningfully as he said, “Sit up, Kokichi, it’s time for medicine. And Nini is good. I swear, I think he misses my pregnant belly sometimes. Every now and again he’ll just curl up on my stomach and just pout. I think he misses spending time with Miyako.”

“Ha. Ha ha. Sure. Ha.” Kaito said dryly from the other side of the room, giving Shuichi a disapproving look, before finishing prepping the new bottle of nectar. Hovering over the crib, Kaito gave his daughter a slightly guilty look, before going to pick her up… “Oh, noooo, I know, I’m sorry. It’s okay, Miyaaaa, it’s food time. Miyaaa~”

Miyako’s breath hitched dangerously, not quite sobbing yet but clearly strongly considering it as she gave Kaito a baffled, outraged look. Why had he woken her up?? What sort of madman woke up a sleeping baby??? Who cares about food!??? “W’eeeeeh-hic-hic!”

Sighing, Kokichi scooted himself up on the pillows, getting as vertical as he could compromise with himself against the swirling in his head. Medicine would help, and he had to be able to not choke on the glass of water to get the medicine…uuuuugh…

“You were a little warmer, while you were pregnant…maybe he misses that too,” Kokichi hummed softly before taking the glass from Shuuichi, carefully sipping on it. “He is awfully cuddly and affectionate for a snake, though. It’s harder to tell, with animals, since they feel emotions so differently, but he does feel what I would classify as ‘happiness’ around you a lot.”

Forcing down the pills with scrunched in shoulders, Kokichi glanced ruefully over towards where Kaito was tending to Miya. “Oh no… Well, we did see it coming… She was so set on sleep before.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ve got her. I’ve got you, sweetbun, you’re gonna feel so much better with a full little baby belly and then I promise you can go right back to sleep. Miyaaaa~”

As Kaito negotiated with their daughter on the other side of the room, Shuichi put his hand on Kokichi’s leg and squeezed it gently, leaning in with a conspiring smile, “Guess who got soft serve? I got just the basics, vanilla and chocolate. Which one? Mix of both?”

Kaito sighed as he tried to convince Miyako to take the bottle, the baby stubbornly pouting through his attempts, “Not too much, okay? If we add stomach aches to the list of symptoms, I will give you both very judgy looks.”

Kokichi huffed softly as he tipped his head back on the pillows. “I know I talk about my secondary sugar stomach a lot, hun, but I literally think I’m gonna vom if I have more than just a little… Which I will still have, ‘cause it’ll feel nice, coating my throat. …and a mix, please, honey.”

Trying to relax his shoulders--his back was feeling muuuuuch better, far less tense, and he didn’t wanna screw it up again--Kokichi suffered through a few more coughs. “The smoothie helped with that too, even if I didn’t end up having that much of it…” He looked around tiredly. “...did you end up finishing it off, hun?”

“Yep. The soup too.” Kaito called back, as Shuichi went to go set up the ice cream. “Hey~ Hey Miyako. Miyakooooo look at dad. Hey, look at dad… OoO” Kaito gapped his mouth at her, widening his eyes, saying while maintaining the expression, “Look at daaaad. Don’t look at the boooottle, what bottle? There’s no bottle sneeeaaaking in towards a little baby mouth. Only dad and his big dumb expressions. O0O Can you make that face Miya? @0@”

Miyako gave her father a baffled look– the fuck was up with that expression??-- staring at him incredulously for a bit… and when the nipple of the bottle pressed against her lower lip, she forgot that she was on a hunger strike, too busy puzzling over the expression as she sucked on it idly. Like, seriously… what a freak… it was kinda funny though. If she wasn’t so tired and grumpy? Like, she wasn’t not into big stupid expressions… hmmm…

As Miyako considered the entertainment value of this new ‘Thing’ dad had introduced, Kaito let his face relax, sighing in relief as she took the bottle. “There we go… good girl…”

“Mm…Kai-chan got a real pre-lunch lunch, then…” Kokichi watched Kaito try to entice Miyako into eating fondly, feeling like there were about to be a lot of exaggerated expressions in their future. Kokichi was only barely holding back from sock puppets some of the time because he knew the despair his husband would be thrown into if their daughter got into puppets. A real shame. 

Laughing a little to himself, Kokichi grinned over at Shuuichi. “Oh, hey, the kitchen sent up a whole meat and cheese plate for Kai-chan, when they were making my smoothie and soup… I’m taking it as a sign the feud days are drawing to a close, though Kai-chan isn’t convinced. ‘N Waku-chan came to say hey, when she brought the food up… Busy morning for sure.”

“Feud?” Shuichi asked, passing over a small bowl of mixed ice cream, before sitting down with his own much larger serving of vanilla as he said, “...oh, the kitchen thing? Kaito, when’s the last time any of them have so much as mentioned that around you? They’ve probably forgotten all about that.”

“They don’t have to talk about it to still not like me. And by ‘not like me’ I mean ‘actively dislike me’. Those people hated me for a while.” Kaito pouted, sitting at the window seat as Miyako suckled at her nectar. “But… Kokichi’s a got a point, sending up foods they know I’d eat is pretty nice. Like, at the very least they might just want me to keep up my strength to take care of ‘Kichi and Miya.”

Shuichi rolled his eyes, licking at his ice cream on his spoon, “You know, if it still bothers you after all this time, just go apologize to them. They’re kitchen staff, they probably forgot all about it after a week and this feud’s been happening in your mind since then.”

Kaito wanted to mutter something about not imagining it, but… whatever. If there was any argument he was endlessly tired of having, it was arguing that he wasn’t just, like, being unreasonable and fostering all this shit. Especially if, like… he kept having to argue it? Maybe it was just him doing it to himself. Kaito being unreasonable while everyone else had to manage him… like, Kaito was the only consistent factor in all these cases. 

Plus, Kaito knew he was an asshole. Sometimes he was in the wrong to be the asshole. And yeah, he did feel bad that he never actually apologized. It was still honestly just his pride that kept him from doing it, but Shuichi might have a point. He might be finally able to just put it behind him if he went and apologized.

“So, between soups and cheeses and meats, are you two still hungry? It is lunch time, I can go bring up some more food, since I’ll be needing to grab my own lunch.” Shuichi offered, before looking to Kaito, “Or if you want to escape the room for a few minutes, I’ll stay here and you can grab the food?”

“Just don’t wanna climb those stairs again, huh?”

“I’ve already done it once for ice cream.”

Kokichi hummed happily as Shuuichi passed him his ice cream, starting to dig in with small scoops. Yesssssss… He might not have a fever anymore, but it was still a nice treat. 

He hadn’t suggested Kaito go apologize before. The last time he had suggested it, months ago, Kaito had talked about how it felt like it’d been too long and it’d just be weird. Kokichi had mentioned that it was never too late to at least offer an apology, but…he got the sense there was a weird pride thing going on too. Like in a way Kaito was carrying the fact there was a feud proudly. Which…Kokichi didn’t really get, but he wasn’t going to force his adult husband to go apologize to others over something that happened months ago, especially when he didn’t even really know what had happened. 

Kaito could decide how he wanted to proceed, and…from what it looked like on the outside, none of the staff were particularly bothered either. 

Kokichi groaned a bit, holding the spoon in his mouth. “It might just mean I’ll need a snack before dinner, but after this my stomach is closed! No entry, except for water and medicine. Nothing more.”

“...but lunch does sound like a good excuse to stretch your legs, hun,” Kokichi gently offered. “You haven’t exactly had the easiest day, despite me an’ Miya sleepin’ through a lot of it.”

“I guess it couldn’t hurt. What do you think the odds are I can get the baby back asleep before I go?” Kaito asked, them, before clearly directing that question to Miyako as he said, “What’s the odds, hm? Hmmm? You were so sleepy when you woke up, certainly going back all full and curled up will be soooo nice Miya.”

“You don’t have to get her back to sleep, I can take her if she’s still up.” Shuichi offered, “You don’t have to go straight to the dining hall and back. Take a loop through the gardens, get some air. I can handle a fussy baby and grabbing more water for Kokichi if he needs it.”

“I know, I know you can… it would be nice to get some sun.” Kaito admitted, looking a little sheepish to admit it. “Alright. But, Kokichi, you’ll call me if anything happens? Anything at all?”

With their luck she’d decide that sleeping was the last thing she wanted to do for the rest of the afternoon… But even with the amount she’d gotten, Miyako was sure to still have Sleepy Baby Disease, full of drowsy symptoms. 

Scraping his bowl, Kokichi nodded a few times. “Anything at all, you’ll know immediately. Go enjoy the afternoon a little, hun. You might not think you can get sick, but getting some air will lower the chances even more. We’ll be alright here.”

Shrugging a little at Shuuichi, Kokichi hummed, “I’m prolly gonna try to get more sleep after I finish this. After getting up so early I definitely need some more…”

Shuichi shrugged, unbothered as he said, “Of course, get some rest. Kaito, be sure to bring up some dessert when you bring me lunch.”

“You… are literally eating ice cream right now.”

“I won’t have any more ice cream to eat by the time you get back.”

“...” Kaito gave Shuichi a dry look, “... I’m bringing you something small. Like, ‘a cookie’ small.”

“Two cookies.”

“Don’t push it handsome. When you get sick I can fill your smoothie full of spinach, don’t tempt me.”

Rolling his eyes, Shuichi took Kokichi’s empty bowl and his own and put it over on the desk, noting, “Could you take down all the dishes too?”

“Yeaaaaah.” Kaito sighed. If they waited long enough a house keeper would come by to collect dishes, but they weren’t in the habit of waiting for that. It was the one chore he did kinda wish he could kick back to the staff, desire to be helpful or not. Taking dirty dishes down three flights of stairs sucked. “Here. Miyaaaa, dada’s here. Dada’s gonna take care of you now. Dad loves you but he has to gooooo before you make dad’s hair all gray.”

Shuichi laughed a little at that, taking Miyako in his arms and looking a little delighted when she didn’t immediately look offended at the tradeoff. “Aww, Miyako, did you miss me? That’s nice… see you soon, Kaito.”

“Love you,” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a quick kiss, before kissing Miyako’s temple, and trotting quickly over to Kokichi’s side, placing a flurry of kisses on his face, “And you get some sleep. See you when you wake up.”

Kokichi laughed softly as Shuuichi negotiated dessert, knowing that he’d be right alongside him if he had the stomach for it. Curse the flu! Spurner of cookies!

Bracing through the flurry of kisses he could not return, Kokichi waved a bit to Kaito. “Bye, Kai-chan. Love you.”

And he would be getting sleep, but… Sliding back against the pillows, Kokichi gave Miyako a soft look before humming to Shuuichi. “Dunno if Kai-chan told you before I woke up, but Miya-Miya had a bit of a scare today… I think she might be happier in our arms while it’s in memory, if it even still is.”

“Oh? What kind of scare?” Shuichi asked, brushing some little dribble off Miyako’s lips as she finished her bottle, going to put on the spit-up bib as he started to pat her on the back, “Nightmare?”

So Kaito hadn’t gotten around to it. Hopefully he wouldn’t mind Kokichi filling their partner in. 

“No,” Kokichi shook his head, watching Shuuichi and Miya fondly. “She was worried about me feeling so bad, and Dad going to get food wasn’t enough. She full-on made Katsuki-chan black out, and then started having her try to kick the door down when she couldn’t open it. Naturally, that was kinda scary on my end, so I let Kai-chan know before trying to coax Miyako into letting Katsuki-chan go. But then Kai-chan saw that from the outside and yelled, and Mi-Mi did not like seeing Dad angry for the first time…”

Kokichi sighed, giving Shuuichi a tired look. “...it was rough.”

Shuichi gave Kokichi a startled look at that story, glancing at the door like Kaito might just appear and clarify things… before frowning, patting Miyako on her back, feeling protective as he murmured, “Darn it, Kaito… thank goodness she’s so young. He has to be more careful, he’s going to give her a complex if she seems him screaming at people. Let alone screaming at her… he keeps saying he’s not going to let that happen, and we’re only three months in…”

Letting out an annoyed huff of breath, Shuichi gave Kokichi a soft, sympathetic look, “That all sounds terrifying. Now I really wish I had stayed, I can’t imagine how I’d feel not knowing who was trying to break in in the middle of the day. You know you can always call for me too when things like that happen, I want to help.”

Kokichi nodded sadly. “He felt awful immediately. Like…that’s totally a situation where startled, angry yelling is warranted, in my book, but…it really scared Miya. And he was a wreck when he realized that she saw it more than just hearing through the door. He never wants to be that kind of force around her… Thankfully she seemed to understand that they had scared each other, so it’s important not to do that.”

Sighing, Kokichi gave Shuuichi a slight smile. “Mostly, I was focused on trying to convince Miyako to let Katsuki-chan go… I feel like if I was firmer than it would’ve been solved better, but…she’s just a baby. Even if her mistakes might be bigger…she’s still learning what’s in her world. I don’t want to make her scared to use the tools she has.”

“...but I’ll call for you next time, too. Shuu-chan’s too smart to get hurt, if someone’s breaking in.”

“Shuu-chan about to send the guardforce and the housekeepers and random guests to go rally around you while I find Maki. Do you remember when that happened when Kaito tried to kidnap us? That was very effective.” Shuichi huffed, wincing at the little, quick throw up sound, before patting Miyako on the back some more. “Good girl, get it all out… and I’m sure he didn’t mean it. It’s still just frustrating to hear about though. I just want him to be careful, that’s all…”

Cleaning Miyako’s face, he got rid of the bib, checking her diaper next. Yep. Needs changing. Getting started, he said back to Kokichi, “And of course she’ll make mistakes. All the great prodigy’s do. It’s the risk of trying new things… but we’ll learn to manage it better. Is there any way you can break her tethers without convincing her to give them up, Kokichi? That might be worth trying, like taking cloth out of her mouth.”

“It does work pretty well, huh…” Kokichi chuckled, before he sighed again. “I’m just sorry that Katsuki-chan got involved… She’s probably our best case scenario for having to explain afterward, but it still sucks. She didn’t seem to take any issue, though. Oh, she’s putting in a work order to fix our door, too.”

…he could be more aggressive, but…

“I might be able to… She has a lot of raw potential, but…she’s a baby. She’s just making the tethers instinctively. The issue, though, is her just…immediately making another tether. That’s what she’s been doing with Kai-chan--all the ‘dings’ in his head is her attempting to tether him, but Saint Madison defending against it,” Kokichi sighed. “I’d be stuck severing the tethers until she got distracted with something else…and I’m not good at managing my body while I do that stuff either, so I’d be left passed out somewhere while I did.”

“It might send a better message that we don’t want her doing it, though…” Coughing into his shoulder, Kokichi shrugged a little. “Apparently my dad just kept, like, throwing ice cream away in front of me, that I’d gotten through a tether, until I stopped doing it.”

Shuichi laughed lightly, the sound soft as he said, “Oh no, did he really? I wonder how many times he had to do that until that lesson stuck… I imagine the temptation to just have people give you what you wanted would be a hard thing to shake.”

Shuichi finished changing Miyako, waiting suspiciously to see if she’s just wet her fresh diaper… no, not yet. Alright. Picking her up and giving her soft kisses against the cheek, “Miyako, you made it too difficult for your fathers today. And brain-washing Katsuki is a no-no. Hmmm… what about something like Little Kaito?” Shuichi asked, looking to Kokichi as he gently rocked Miyako, who seemed entirely unwilling to just allow herself to go back to sleep, blinking tiredly up at him. “Or, whats mines name… Griffin? Could you put a construct in her head to do a sort of ‘no means no’ situation?”

Shuichi thought about that, not… loving the way that sounded aloud… “Maybe not…”

“Honestly, I don’t know how Baby Kokichi ever forgave Ikuo,” Kokichi chuckled. “It seemed like a nightmare half the time, raising me… Good thing I was such a cute kid.”

Shuuichi seemed to think better of the option immediately, but still Kokichi frowned slightly. “Even if it is different, with her being an Empath, I don’t want to leave any constructs in her head… She already has Maki-chan there and I have no idea what that’ll mean as Miyako grows up…but that’s what’s keeping her safe against the hivemind, and I’m grateful.”

“I think the answer is just gonna be I have to be her parent,” he sighed. “Monitor my kid from sticking their hand on the stove and hope I do a good enough job to last out until she can understand what I mean when I say it’s hot. So many Empaths have so many different ideas about what it means to see other minds or even influence them, but…if I pose my own views as just a suggestion, she’s gonna get into trouble. I just…gotta be a hardass until she’s old enough to form her own nuanced ideas about what it means to be an Empath.”

Kokichi pouted a bit, looking at Miyako. “I hate having to make her upset…”

“I’m fairly certain that’s just part of being a mentor. Parent.” Shuichi corrected himself, shaking his head a little, “Just part of being a parent. And, unfortunately, when it comes to actually being strict on the empath stuff, you’re the only one among us who can do more than just beg her. I’m sorry to inform you that when our little girl is trying to, inevitably, use mind reading against me as a way to ‘outsmart’ me? I’m going to you to put her in her place. Give her a mental grounding.”

Shuichi smiled slightly at Kokichi as he said, “Don’t worry, I’ll be the strict parent when it comes to thinks like finishing her work and being timely. You can handle empath stuff, I’ll handle school work, and Kaito… I suppose he can teach her social skills? I imagine he’ll end up reminding her endlessly to be polite, considering how he’s trying to raise Timothy. Be polite, be considerate, don’t stab people.” Shuichi smiled down at Miyako, who yawned contently in his arms, “That’s hopefully a conversation we won’t have to have with you, Miyako. In many ways, you’re already much easier to handle then your big brother. You’ve never tried to murder any of us even once… don’t tell anyone I siad that, I’m just teasing Timothy. I wouldn’t say it if anyone else was around to hear.”

“Yeah…” Kokichi sighed. Both in their family, and in their community…Kokichi was going to be the only one able to teach Miyako. Sure, other Empaths would be able to pass on important lessons and stories, but…if the power Miyako was displaying now was comparable to how Kokichi had been as a baby, then…her overall power when she got older was going to be like his. So powerful that…most people just didn’t know what to do with it. When it came to raw strength, and the problems that came from that…she would just have him. 

He couldn’t let her down. He needed to be her dad. 

He sighed again, but smiled over at Miyako. “She’s going to have quite a different learning curve… We can’t tell what the future is going to be like overall, but…not changing cultures in the middle of growing up is probably gonna put her on good footing. And Tim’s gonna figure out a lot of the other stuff before she gets there too.”

“...she really is so considerate, already,” Kokichi said softly. “Along with wanting to help me… I popped into her dream earlier, and she was giving Little Lamb a bath. Because…looking at Kai-chan, giving baths to someone is how you show you care. She’s very sweet…”

Shuichi’s expression notably softened at that, running his finger soothingly over her forehead as Miyako tried to grab it, clearly intending to try to get it into her mouth. He ignored the pull of her strong little baby grip as he said, “See? Exactly. You powers and responsibility, myself education and self-discipline, and Kaito will teach her how to be good to people… which he is. Even if he struggles sometimes. None of us are perfect at this yet. We’ll all manage…”

Heading over to the crib, Shuichi went to pick up Little Lamb and went to sit over at the bed. Putting the lamb in front of Miyako, who refocused on it, Shuichi said, “Little Lamb is going to, mmm… tell a story. To get little lady to fall asleep.” Shuichi decided, making the lamb bounce as he spoke, as if the lamb were talking to her. Glancing up at Kokichi, he added gently, “If it helps anyone else nod off as well, then that’s fine. Like I told Kaito, dada has things covered. Now, let’s see… what’s a story I’ve read recently… once upon a time…”

Shuichi wasn’t good at making up stories, so he picked one he had inspected in Nao’s gift to Kokichi, looking for signals, messages or symbolism hidden within it. He hadn’t found anything particularly useful, but one story had stuck out to him. 

“There was a man who was a captain of a ship, who one day woke up and discovered his son was missing. Looking high and low for his child, the man one day discovered that his son had been lured away by a fairy, who promised him flight and ever-lasting life in exchange for giving up everything he had ever known. The fairy, the captain would discover, had seen his boy and fallen in love with him, deciding to steal him away to fairyland so that she may spend every day with him.”

“The captain could not allow that though, and he spoke to anyone who would talk to him about a way to find his son, rescuing him from fairyland. Eventually, he found a witch who promised to make his ship fly, able to follow his son to fairyland, but in exchange she needed his hand. Determined to save his son, the captain traded his hand, and in its place he put a hook. Impressed by his dedication, his crew, in honor of his sacrifice, started to refer to him as Captain Hook, the man who had given up a hand for his child.”

“So,” Shuichi said, not seeing any issues with telling this particular story, Miyako curiously watching Little Lamb bounce and talk, uncomprehending of the story, as Shuichi didn’t really visualize his stories the way Kaito did, it all just words rushing over her, “The crew, loyal to their captain, all agreed to go to fairyland to rescue the captains son. But, as they flew up into the stars, where the fairies were hiding, they discovered quickly that the boy was not merely a prisoner there, but had come to rule over the whole of fairyland. The people of the water all wished for his love and attention, and the people of the trees all respected his courage and strength. It was only now the captain and his men, who the people of fairyland quickly titled the people of the air, that recognized the boy was still a child, and worried over the dangers he put not only himself into, but other children that he had whisked away from their parents to befriend him and play.”

“Many times, the captain tried to reason with his son. But the boy was having far too much fun, doing as he pleased on the island, and could not see a reason to return with his dedicated father. The father was desperate, and began to fight with the son, and this only seemed to make things worse, the boy not only refusing him, but seeming over time to actually forget the captain was his father at all, calling him a wicked pirate. That was when the captain learned that in fairyland, which the locals called Neverland, whatever you pretended to be? That was was what you were. And your memories started to change to reflect that.”

“So if the boy and his friends pretended to not have parents? They forgot them. And if the boys pretended to have full bellies? They didn’t feel hunger. And if the boys insisted no wound had actually landed? Then they could not see the bruises and scars left behind on them. But, Miyako… playing pretend does not mean that those things are not still there. It just changed how they reacted to them. So, desperate to save the children, the captain came up with an idea…”

“He challenged the boy to a duel, to which the boy agreed. Duels were dangerous for the captain, for though he would never hurt his son, his son was content to aim to kill, never truly believing the man could die, and thinking it was not a shame for a pirate to die anyway. But, the man was clever. He let the boy disarm him, and complained that it was merely the boys clothes and weapon that gave him an advantage, and that his own sailors clothes slowed him down. The boy, offended, insisted they exchange clothes then, and he’d be able to beat the captain in sailors clothes as well.”

Miyako blinked sleepily. Lots of words… lots of words… her dada’s voice smooth and even as he spoke.

“So they exchanged clothes, and dueled again. And the boy won, so the captain said it was only because the boys friend all cheered them on as they did that he won, that if they thought of him as a sailor, they would not cheer and the boy would not win. The boy, exasperated, instructed his friends to refer to him as a captain as well then, knowing they would love him still. The boys agreed, cheering their captain on.”

“Then they dueled again, and this time, the captain was greatly injured. His crew wished to run to his side, but the man raised his hand, saying with full seriousness. ‘No, no. Look at me. A man in ragged clothes he does not fit, injured at the feet of the ships captain, surrounded by his men and the children he came to rescue? Certainly it is up to the captain, if my life should be saved. Captain?’ the man said to his son, ‘The crew is waiting. What would you have them do?’”

“And the new captain recalled, oh, yes. Of course. This was his ship, and he had come to rescue the boys. And this pirate had challenged him to a duel, which the captain had now won. But, he recalled, sailors lived by a code, and captains more so then most. So the captain said, put this man in the brig and heal his wounds. It’s time to finish our mission and return this children to their parents.”

“And indeed, everyone played pretend so hard that everyone forgot that the boy was the captains son, and not the captain himself, and the pirate, Hook, did not dare remind anyone, staying quiet until the ship returned to the world, leaving fairyland behind. And it was only when all the children had been returned, and the crew set upon land, pulling the ship ashore, that the boy, in full captain uniform, turned to the prisoner of the ship and smiled wide, saying ‘Father, that was quite a lot of fun! Let’s play again soon, please!’”

Kokichi hadn’t been kidding around earlier. If she followed in his example, then Miyako would grow up cherishing and caring for the people around her, and Kokichi couldn’t be more proud of that. Kaito was a great role model…he was enough for them. For the kids. Hopefully raising Miyako would let him get some of that confidence back, when he saw how it reflected in her.

Smiling slightly, Kokichi settled down for Little Lamb’s storytime, tucking himself into his blankets and letting Shuuichi’s voice wash over him. And, having more context than Miyako certainly, he recognized what this story was from…the story of Neverland. Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, with Tinkerbell the fairy… He’d heard a few remixed versions over the years, but not this one. Ones that painted Peter the villain, or focused more on the fairies, or even were more sympathetic towards Captain Hook, but…

Never with the connection of a father. Not with a desperate love willing to take horrible chances to protect someone who didn’t know better. That was a really lovely twist on the story…

Eyes closed, Kokichi smiled slightly, speaking softly. “Is our little fairy flying off to Never-Neverland? Thankfully she can make it back without one of us needing to enchant a ship…”

“If one of us needs to give up a hand to get her back, I call ‘no-goes’.” Shuichi said just as softly, smirking at their daughter a little as he said, “She’s fighting it, I’ll give her that. But I think she’s just about there, yes. Come on, Miyako, lets you and the lamb go to sleep now.” Shuichi said, getting up from the bed and heading over to the crib, “There will be more stories later. We’ll even do funny voices next time. But for now, it’s time to sleep.”

Kokichi let out a slightly rattling breath, in a pretty comfy spot himself. “Funny faces and funny voices…Miya’s getting top notch entertainment, coming up. Lucky gal…”

“...Mm. Anything you need before I drift off, Shuu-chan?”

“For you to go to sleep and get well and not to get me sick.” Shuichi huffed, laying Miyako down in the crib, “by this point, I just don’t want to give Kaito the satisfaction of being right. Go to sleep, Kokichi. I’ll be here if you need anything.”

“He is really set on that…mmkay. No germs heading towards Shuu-chan…got it.”

-

Kaito fussed with his hands a bit, walking into the garden. Taking a quick look around, there wasn’t a lot of people here, but then, he went to this garden cause there usually wasn’t. For honestly not being all that big, there was still areas in the castle that were visited less often then others despite the constant stream of traffic, and if Kaito could help it, he tried to stick to those areas when he was wandering.

It’s not like he was going to wander long. He was just out to get some air, then he’d go grab lunch and– THWAK! Ph-yuuuu THWAK!

Kaito startled at the sound, following it out of curiosity. He thought he recognized the noise, but it wasn’t a sound he had heard in a long time, and… “Maki?” Kaito called, looking a little alarmed as he walked around a rose-bush, looking to see if anyone else was seeing this as he hurried to her side, “Maki, you can’t fire those out here! What are you doing!?”

“Maintaining my crossbow. You have to use it every now and again to ensure everything is working as expected.” Maki said simply, cocking the next bolt and aiming at the wooden plank leaned against the tree, which had a few bolts embedded in it already, “And no one’s stopped me yet. It’s a nice day out, and I’m tired of practicing in my room.”

She pulled the trigger. The bolt hissed through the air with a ph-yuuuu, before landing into the wood with a THWAK!

“Geez, you’re inviting trouble.” Kaito sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You checked in on Tim yet?”

“Mmm. He’s by the pond, with the girls.” Maki said, checking ammo, not liking how the bolts had lined up that time. “They keep asking when training is starting back up.”

“Nnnn, when I’m not exhausted out of my mind and running on baby time?” Kaito grumbled, running a hand over his face, “We agreed when school starts again, right? Not much longer. Start of fall, right? That’s not much longer, that’s… shit, is that really still two months away?” Kaito realized, sighing, “Maybe we should try doing something regularly with them sooner than that, I can’t wait two months to spend more time with Tim. I need too. Other then lunch on saturdays at the diners, I feel like I never see Tim right now. Morning training and walking him to school again would help, but two months...”

“Don’t forget Haneda’s going on vacation.”

“Right, right. Someone’s gonna need to keep track of him throughout the day, he’s not going wild. Though, what am I going to do with that, trap Timothy in my room to watch his baby sister with me?” Kaito sighed, watching Maki aim.

Ph-uuuu, THWAK! “I told you I can watch him. We can alternate days. And also… maybe it’d be okay to let him go a little wild. We haven’t needed to keep total tab on him before–”

“He’s ten, Maki-roll. And thanks to King Aiichi, we’ve had Haneda’s help this whole time to keep us from having to hover over the kid. We can’t just decide it doesn’t matter if he’s being kept an eye on when it’s inconvenient to us. We’re parents. These kids are counting on us…” Kaito sighed, before growling to himself a little, “...I accidentally screamed at Miyako.”

“How do you ‘accidently’ scream at an infant?” Maki asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“I can’t explain in the open, it’s ‘book club’ stuff. And, honestly, I barely want to talk about it.”

“You brought it up.”

“I just feel sick about it. Like you said, how do you ‘accidently’ scream at an infant? But lo and behold, Prince Kaito Momota fucking figured out a way. For all I know I’ve traumatized her and she’s going to be talking about this in therapy twenty years from now.”

“She literally has no object permanence, she’s probably already forgotten.” Maki shrugged, lowering her crossbow and going to pull the used bolts out of the wood. Kaito went to go help her out– it took a lot of strength to recollect an embedded bolt– and sighed as Maki pointed out, “And if it was an accident, it’s not exactly about to become a habit. At least it shouldn’t. Trust me, screaming at children doesn’t work as effectively for discipline as you’d think. Pain is much more effective.”

“Maki, don’t even joke about that.” Kaito said dryly, “We’re doing it differently, no painful lessons.”

“Right. So you taking Timothy out on a run that left him unable to walk was a ‘bonding’ moment.”

Kaito frowned… before looking away shame-faced at Maki’s challenging gaze, neck and ears reddening in the face of his own hypocrisy. “He was insulting Kokichi. I was trying to humble him. Show him how difficult it is when your bodies failing you. I wasn’t trying to beat him down, I just wanted him to empathize.”

Maki shrugged, looking over the retrieved bolts, the wooden plank having split into parts in their pulls to retrieve them. “I understand. But those are still the kind of lessons we grew up with. I just want you to recognize that you fall into old habits too.”

“Yeah, yeah…Have you looked into any volunteer stuff yet?”

“Not really. I was going to ask Kokichi for recommendations, he seemed pretty excited about the idea. But, well, he’s sick so.” Maki shrugged, “Weapon cleaning again.”

“Yeah, well, hopefully it’ll only be a few days and he’ll be back in good health. I’m just doing my best to make certain he doesn’t lose too much weight this time.” Kaito sighed, rubbing his temple, “...you want to dance later? Or, I don’t know, soon? I don’t actually know when I’ll have time for certain but…”

“You mad at me?”

“No, no, I’m just… restless. I need to spend some energy or I’m going to lose my mind. I’m exhausted and feel like my muscles are wasting away at the same time, it’s a shitty feeling. I need to use them for something.”

“Sure. Just let me know when you have time.” Maki shrugged, “Need anything else?”

“Nah… what about you?” Kaito asked, giving his friend a concerned look, “You good?”

“Anything you could do if I wasn’t?”

“Come on, Maki… if there was something wrong I’d want to know about it, I can help.”

“You probably can’t. You’re busy. So, luckily for you, no. I’m fine.” Maki said, smirking at him a bit, “Really. I just felt like teasing you a bit.”

“Uh huh,” Kaito responded dryly, shaking his head at her, “You’re sure? How’s, like… mind stuff? You have a one on one coming up, right? Tomorrow? Do you want me or Shuichi to walk you to your appointment, pick you up? For company, I mean, I know it can be tough to be left alone in that stuff.”

“I’m alright. I like having the time to think… speaking of being busy, aren’t you? Who’s watching Miyako and Kokichi?”

“Shuichi, I’m supposed to take a walk and grab lunch. Actually, he’s probably gonna hang out all afternoon now, we had a tough morning. You wanna spend some time with us? I’m working on a puzzle.”

“Sure. I’ll put away my crossbolt, let Timothy know we’re all in your room again, and I’ll meet you up there.”

“Awesome. See ya, Maki-roll.”

-

For how busy the morning ended up, the rest of the day had been pretty mellow. Kaito and Maki joined Shuuichi in hanging out in the princes’ bedroom, and Kokichi slept straight on until dinner, enjoying another bowl of soup and some honey ginger tea before taking another round of medicine and going back to sleep. And despite the echoes of his protests that morning about going to another room to sleep, or his partners and the baby going somewhere else, the four of them slept in their room as normal. 

It was a bad bout of the flu, but Kokichi was an old hat to these sorts of things--the first day would be the worst, and how long it took to break his fever would be the sign of how the rest of the time was going to go. Breaking it in a few hours, as he did that time, meant he was probably going to be sore and gross for around three days, but would feel significantly better with every day that went by. 

So when Kokichi woke up the next day, feeling his chest a little lighter and his headache more in the range of, ‘man, gotta take a painkiller’ rather than, ‘I wish I could cut my head off’, he knew he was taking the normal steps to recovery. 

What wasn’t normal was a shaking sensation to his right, interspersed with deep chest coughs. 

Kokichi squinted his eyes open, looking over to his side in confusion for a moment, seeing a blanket cocoon right next to him. “...Kai-chan?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” Kaito at first rasped, before a little growl rumble out, Kaito clearing his airway… before saying with a slightly stronger tone, “Just swallowed wrong, had something in my throat.”

Kaito Momota did not get sick. 

Oh, sure, he woke up feeling a little… weird. That morning. Like, maybe a little chilly. Weird for a summer morning, but not, like, impossible. Some mornings were chilly. And sure, his head felt a little full and his muscles a little achy, but he had just been telling Maki yesterday that he sorta felt like he could feel his muscles, like, ‘rotting’. Like they just sorta hurt for no reason. Clearly he had not been using them enough, was the issue. Use it or lose it! And was he feeling a little weirdly sweaty despite being chilly? Well, there was a lot of blankets on the bed with three people inside on a summer day, sweat was kind of a given, wasn’t it.

The fire in his throat was a little tough to explain away, but give Kaito a minute, he’d come up with something. 

But! It was morning time! And he had things to do! So despite his bodies protests– maybe he hadn’t slept that well?-- he sat up and said to Shuichi, who had been waking up for the alarms for Miyako that early morning, having volunteered since he had spent so much time napping the day before, and was currently feeding Miyako, “Hey handsome, let me just get Kokichi’s pain pills and then I cand handle Miyako’s next change if you haven’t done it ye–”

“You~” Shuichi said at the window seat, Miyako contently succling away at the bottle, “Are out of your mind if you think you’re touching the baby today. By this point I’m considering bunkering down in the nursery with her and leaving you two to it.”

“Whu-h?” Kaito blinked blearily at Shuichi, ignoring the build up feeling in his chest as he swallowed wrong again, talking through a few suppressed coughs, “Hrrgh, hrgh… why?”

…uh oh. 

It was difficult enough, more people being sick. But being sick, and trying to care for someone that was sick, grew ten times harder when the sick person refused to believe they were sick. That was how the flu turned into pneumonia. 

Content to keep lying in bed, though he did feel better than the day before, Kokichi frowned, giving Kaito a concerned look. “...you caught the flu from me, hun. …damn knew this was going to happen…but nooo it’s perfectly fine to all stay in the same room…”

Shaking his head a little with a muted cough, Kokichi turned his concerned gaze over to Shuuichi. “I think that might be a good idea. If you two have managed to luck out so far, it’s probably smarter to quarantine… If you could, though, let someone know that Kai-chan caught the flu too? We could get more medicine sent up…”

Shuichi genuinely felt bad for his partners, but… there was an undeniable sense of smugness as he met Kaito’s unfocused gaze and smiled sweetly, “I can get medicine set up for Kaito, certainly. Honestly, considering how all over Kokichi you were yesterday, feels sorta inevitable you got sick–”

“I’m not sick, I just have a scratchy throat. It happens.” Kaito rasped, looking annoyed.

“--but someone needs to stay healthy for Miyako. So, yes, nursery time will help, and I think I’ll ask Ikou for assistance too. Get all of her baby stuff in there. And I’ll ask Maki to make the medicine run for you while I set up. Kokichi, could you ask Ikou if he has time later to help me with Miyako?”

“Guys, I’m fine, I just need some water and my throat will clear up.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Closing his eyes, Kokichi did just that. Feeling out his dad’s signature and sending intent, though he lingered for a moment, wanting more than just one-way communication. And…his dad’s signature was always nice. The comforting warmth and familiarity Kokichi always felt from Ikuo distilled into its purest form--and the return, of course, that Ikuo could feel Kokichi’s love and affection even just from the bundled intent that came just with his name. 

“He had a kinda general feeling of ‘yes’, so…yeah, he’ll probably come by the nursery to see you two sooner or later. Might just be getting breakfast and getting ready for the day.”

It did seem to be around that time, rather than the extra early morning they’d had yesterday. At least Kaito’s symptoms were kind enough to let them sleep until a reasonable time of the morning. 

…but he still had symptoms. 

Kokichi gave his husband a dry look. “...yeah? And your fever? That’ll clear up with water too?”

“Who has a fever? If anything it’s freezing in here.” Kaito grumbled, feeling a little ganged up on. Honestly, even if he was sick? Which he wasn’t convinced of. It wasn’t like he was sick sick. He was fine. In fact, he still needed to go get Kokichi’s painkillers. 

Grunting a little, Kaito got up, let his gaze refocus, and grabbed Kokichi’s cup, going to go wash it out and replace it with fresh water as he called– rasped– out to Shuichi from the bathroom, “Are you really going to the nursery? At least let me help you move– hrrrgh–” Kaito cleared his throat, his voice going weirdly high for a second there. “--stuff into there.”

“Maki will help me, it’s fine. You’re, just, so sick–”

“I’m gonna shake this in an hour.” Kaito rolled his eyes, coming back with pills and water, bringing them to Kokichi, “Here you go beautiful. You hungry? Ready for some morning soup?”

“Come on, Miyako, let’s go get Auntie Maki’s help with your sick parents.” Shuichi coo’d, heading out.

“That’s a sign you have a fever, hun,” Kokichi hummed, sitting himself up against the pillows a little. As nice as it would be to go back to sleep, he did have a morning dose to take, and a husband to convince not to run himself into the ground. “You were all wrapped up in the blankets, which you never do, and you’re shivering. You have a fever and should lie down.”

But he had a feeling it’d take more than that to convince Kaito. Such was life with a superhero husband. 

Kokichi took the water and pills with a sigh, giving Kaito a pleading look. “Honestly, I just wanna get back to sleep, though my dad is prolly gonna send some breakfast up for us, since we’re sick. Today’s headache is a lot more manageable, but it still sucks, and the only reason I can move around at all without all my muscles being in pain is ‘cause you gave me a massage yesterday. But I’m still achy…that’s how this works.”

He gave him a more concerned look as Shuuichi left. “...check your temperature, at least? For me?”

“Check my temperature? Sure~” Kaito grinned, leaning down as he said, “Give me a hand with that, beautiful?”

Giving Kokichi a kiss on the cheek, Kaito pressed his forehead onto Kokichi’s… before frowning. That felt wrong. “Why do you feel so much cooler than me?” Kaito asked, genuinely confused for a moment… before pouting, “Oh, dammit, do I have a fever?”

Kokichi meant with a thermometer, but he just rolled his eyes a little before pressing his forehead to Kaito’s, the very slight exasperation melting into concern as he felt the warmth from Kaito. Kaito was always warmer than him, but…not like this, from the forehead and, while not blazing, still a little uncomfortable. 

“...you totally have a fever, hun,” Kokichi murmured, cupping Kaito’s face in concern. “C’mon, get yourself some water then sit in bed with me. We can be flu buddies together, and nap away the gross, scratchy feelings.”

Kaito pouted at that a bit… before he sighed, “Fine. If Ikou and Maki are going to help Shuichi with Miyako anyway, then I guess this is fine, all I wanted to do was take care of you anyway. I’ll look after you, and Maki will–”

Before Kaito could finish that thought, the door unlocked and pushed open, and Maki was pushed inside, not saying a word as she crawled into the bed, ignoring both Kaito and Kokichi as she grabbed some of the blankets on the other side of the bed and threw them over her head as Shuichi sighed. “So, Maki’s going to sleep here. You guys got her sick, we’re just going to stream-line this rather then send a bunch of supplies between both rooms and checking in on you separately.”

Maki muttered something under the blankets about not needing to be checked on as Kaito gave her a baffled look, before looking to Shuichi, “Ma- Hurrk! K-auph, c’augh- Maki’s sick too? What happened??”

Shuichi shrugged, “She spent the afternoon in here, what do you think happened? Anyway, I can’t stay, Miyako’s in the nursery crib, I’m just grabbing the diaper bag for now. I’ll be back to check on you guys and to get more supplies, but for now I’m going to see if I can find someone to bring up food for you all. Just, stay in the room, okay, rest, all of you. Don’t get the rest of the castle sick.”

Kokichi watched in first surprise, then pity as Maki stumbled into their room and bed, commandeering a group of blankets for her own. Maki had been in the room the least of all of them, and yet… The cold, uncaring hand of illness. 

“Aw, I’m sorry, Maki-chan… Okay, Shuu-chan. It might be a good idea for a healer to come check up on us later…and I think my dad’s probably putting stuff together for us…”

Sighing, Kokichi scooted back down the bed with a little nod. “Water. Then bed, Kai-chan. We’ll be here snoozing, and not being super irresponsible and getting other people sick, especially other people with weak immune systems who maybe won’t be as lucky as I got this time.”

“Alright, well, I’ll get some water for Maki-roll too, then.” Kaito muttered, going to where they kept their cups and calling to Maki– as loudly as his voice would allow, anyway– “Have you taken any medicine yet, Maki?”

Maki mumbled something from within her burrow, having commandeered Shuichi’s pillow and buried her face into it. After a moment she coughed into it, her thin body shaking as she coughed, not coming up for air even a little bit as she settled. 

“I’m gonna take that as a ‘no, please bring me some painkillers and cough drops, thank you Kaito,’” Kaito sighed, looking to Shuichi and looking suddenly uncomfortable, “If Maki’s not gonna be there, you’re sure you have Miyako handled? Maybe you could recruit Timothy?”

“Let me handle that, if I need help I’ll find it. Get some rest, try not to die. Love you all.” Shuichi sighed, giving them a wave, though saying to Kokichi before he closed the door, “If Ikou gets caught up and doesn’t bring food, send me a message, I’ll get food sent up. Miyako and I will take a trip to the healers to get someone sent up to look at you all.”

Ooph…yeah, that sounded about right. Kokichi gave Maki a sympathetic look as she coughed, faintly thinking of the deep clean all their sheets and blankets were going to have to go through after this. Normal stuff, for a flu bug, even if it wasn’t exactly flu season. But vira had no qualms about time. 

“Love you, Shuu-chan!” Kokichi rasped out, giving Shuuichi a wave in return though he quickly changed it to a thumbs up. “I’ll keep you in the loop…though hopefully I’m gonna be asleep for most of the day. As we should all aspire.” Kokichi gave Kaito a pointed look. 

But then…it really was just the three of them. 

Sighing, Kokichi snuggled down in a blanket stolen from Kaito’s nest, throwing an arm over his eyes to get the full effect of shielding his face while still lying on his back. For now, he coughs were still soft, and he intended to keep them that way.

Kaito filled up a quick cup for himself, taking a pain tablet and letting it dissolve as he set up the pills for Maki. He just preferred the tablets, though the difference was purely just how you consumed it. Drinking it down quickly before filling it up some more, Kaito brought the glasses back to the bed, putting his fizzing water onto the side table before heading to the other side of the bed, sitting on its edge and poking the lump of Maki, “Come on, Maki-roll. Quick pills, quick water, and we have these little medicine candies that will help with the coughs. You’re here anyway, let me take care of you. There we goooo, there’s those blood red eyes I adore. Now for the rest of you… There we go! You got this!”

“Shut up, Kaito.” Maki grumbled, taking the pills, and despite Kaito shuddering as he watched, swallowing them dry before taking the water, taking the glass, water and all, and disappearing under the covers. 

“Just don’t spill it under there. Atua knows changing the linens right now would be a pain in the butt.” Kaito sighed, patting Maki’s sides through the blankets before grunting as he got up. Oof, dizzy… also his chest really didn’t feel all that good. It was weird, but feeling the blockage in there suddenly made him aware how heavy his pecks were. Or maybe that was just feeling the ache in all of his muscles. Sitting on the other side of the bed, Kaito finished drinking his water, doing alright for a bit… before coughing through the last of it. Oww… Kaito sighed as he leaned back against the headframe, reaching over to pat Kokichi on the head as he said, “You can fall back asleep if you want, but when food gets here we’re all eating.”

Not that Kaito was particularly hungry, but, well, he was sure his appetite would pick up when he smelled the food.

“S’just water,” Kokichi mumbled, more to himself than either Maki or Kaito. “Would have to make sure to clean the mattress when we’re all good, but…can just leave it for now. Might even feel nice against the fever…”

Feeling Kaito settle back into bed--even if he was still sitting up--Kokichi scooted to his side, not exactly cuddling, but being close. If Kaito was already sick it wasn’t like Kokichi could make him more sick. …well, sure, they could pass the virus back and forth, but…Kokichi wasn’t even over the first bout. It was fine. 

“Sure, I guess…” Kokichi mumbled softly. “Think I might be able to eat more than yesterday… You guys might be fucked, though.”

“No one’s fucked, we’re all gonna be full and feeling fine and ready to run laps– kfff” Kaito started coughing, putting his arms around his mouth and coughing muffled into them, before grumbling as he sat back, not loving the heat in his throat and face, “ready to run laps. No problem.”

Maki did not respond to any of this… but there was a brief but notable sudden snore from her side of the bed. There before settling again, a small wheezing snore becoming intermittently steady from beneath her nest. Kaito looked briefly startled at that, glancing over to her mound… before his expression softened. Aw… it had been a while since he heard that. Maki really was sick, huh. His poor ‘Kichi and Maki-roll…

Okay! Kaito had this! He’d take care of them both and get them healthy again, and once everyone was healthy Shuichi and Miyako could come back! Easy! 

Kaito once again coughed violently into his arms. Blegh. 

Kokichi smiled slightly. At least they weren’t keeping Maki up. That was the biggest issue of their make-shift sick ward, really. That he and Kaito would keep Maki up with their talking…but it seemed that Maki was way too out of it to care. Poor Maki. 

“...don’t forget to add yourself into your nurse fantasies, Kai-chan,” Kokichi gently cautioned. “You’re sick too. The best thing you can do to help people is to rest and get better…so just rest and let other people do the running around for a while.”

As seemed to happen right then, as there was a soft knock on the door, a gruff, muffled voice asking, “S food an’ meds. We good ta come in?”

“Yeah, yeah, coming, sorry.” Kaito called to the door, giving Kokichi a small, sheepish grin. Yes, he had to get better himself, but! The door was locked, soooo~ 

Long blue hair and tired green eyes beneath a mess of brown both greeted him at the door, and Kaito suddenly brought his shirt up over his mouth as he said through the fabric, “Dr. Pacuvius, Ikuo! Sorry, hi, sorry, I forgot my mask. I know I’ve got one… somewhere.” Kaito said, looking around the room like the mask Haneda had made him last winter would just appear, backing up from the door, “Like, definitely somewhere.”

Ikuo tipped his head in greeting, stopping from pulling his own key out, while Nell gave a nod as well, the two of them wearing sanitation masks themselves. “Good morning, Kaito--I’m sorry to hear that you’ve caught the flu. Hopefully I’ll be able to give you some reprieve.”

Sighing, Kokichi removed his arm from his hand and sat up a little, waving to his dad and the healer. “Mornin’. Maki-chan’s joined us too--she’s sick as well, so the three of us are holin’ up here while Shuu-chan and Miya are hanging out in the nursery.”

“Good ta know--ain’t good fer th’ li’l lass t’ hang around,” Ikuo nodded, placing down a tray on their desk as Nell distributed more fever and cough medicine alongside what they had originally gotten for Kokichi the day before. “Folks made a pot ‘a arroz caldo in prep, so tha’s breakfast. Di’ bring an extra bowl if Shu’chi were still ‘round, bu’ tha’ can be Maki’s an’ I’ll get Shu’chi some other food next trip. Gon’ be stayin’ close t’ help ‘im wi’ Miya, an’ fer y’all t’ have another person nearby.”

As Ikuo started distributing breakfast, Nell focused on Kaito. “We went over them yesterday, but have you noticed any other symptoms in yourself, Kaito? Have you taken your temperature yet?”

Man, Kaito knew that maybe, like, maybe, he was a little too stubborn about the ‘never admit weakness’ thing sometimes, maybe, occasionally… but the impulse to tell the Healer that he was fine still caught him off guard by how sincerely it ran through him. Cause, like, he could at least admit to himself that he had at least a mild version of whatever Kokichi had, anyway. 

So, chastising himself a little bit, Kaito gave the healer a tired grin before saying, “I may have picked it up too. I’ve got a bit of a fever and I’m coughing a bit too. And, thanks, Ikuo, I appreciate you being so flexible and helping us out with this so short notice, we all appreciate you. Oh! Dr. Pacuvius, do you have cough drops that aren’t that lemon stuff? Like… literally any other flavor, really? The lemons are kinda intense.”

Well, he was coherent and standing, so that was a good sign the fever wasn’t dangerously high. If he took the reducers, then Kaito should be fine on that front. Nodding, Nell opened up a small package and, after a moment of thought, just put the whole package by the other medicine. “Yeah, there’s just pure honey, and a mint. Doesn’t erase the herb-y taste any more than the lemon, I’m afraid, but they might be more palatable.”

Looking the three patients in the bed over in concern, she followed up, “Have you been coughing up anything?”

Kokichi, just holding his porridge/soup bowl to warm his fingers, nodded. “Clear phlegm. No blood or yellow or green goo, though.”

“Good.” Sighing a bit to herself, Nell tried to make eye-contact with the last lump in the bed. “Maki, have you had a chance to take your temperature yet?”

…Snooore…

“I’ve got her, I’ve got her.” Kaito sighed, trotting over to the other side of the bed– a small mistake, loud, full chested coughs wracking his body as he shoved his mouth into his inner elbow, low growls come from him as Kaito did his best to clear his throat from whatever came dislodged– before pulling back the blanket and, without thinking about it much, dodging right as a now empty glass flew past his head. Frowning as he looked over his shoulder, Kaito huffed in annoyance as he said to Maki, “You’re lucky that didn’t shatter when it hit the wall. There’s people in here, Maki, Ikuo and Dr. Pacuvius are helping out. The healer needs to check your temperature.”

“...h’t.” Maki mumbled from beneath the covers.

“Yeah, but, like, more details then just ‘hot’.” Kaito huffed, giving the two visitors a little ‘what can you do’ shrug.

Shaking his head, Ikuo collected the glass and headed to the bathroom to refill it before Nell came forward with a concerned look. Holding out a thermometer, she asked, “Maki, can you hold this in your armpit for a minute? I figured you might appreciate this more than a mouth one--we need to determine if your fever is something that might need more attention.”

Eating his soup like a good patient, Kokichi looked over in sympathy. “She’s had one of the painkillers you said was fine for this, but unless she took something in her room, she hasn’t taken anything else. Kai-chan either.”

Glancing up at Kaito, Nell nodded. “We’ll get you some flu medicine too, then, even if it looks like you’ll be alright with a standard fever reducer.”

Kaito’s face dimmed a little, seeing Maki’s bleary look back up at them, gaze unfocused and hair a mess, sticking to her skin as she sweat profusely. It wasn’t the first time seeing Maki knocked down by a sickness for Kaito, she was someone who traveled a lot and got injured a lot and Kaito had seen her basically unable to function just… more times then he would have ever liked, honestly. But it never felt less depressing to see someone with Maki’s endless intensity brought low, Maki looking like she wasn’t entirely certain what was even going on, but disapproved strongly.

Heh. The look reminded him a little of Miyako, actually. Aw, Maki.

“Here, let me help her,” Kaito offered, taking the thermometer and kneeling next to the bed, and ignoring how his throat increasingly felt like it was on fire, grinned at Maki as he said, “You have any of your knives on you?”

Maki blinked slowly. “...y’s.”

“I’m putting the thermometer under your arm. Don’t stab me~”

“Mm.”

Good enough. Reaching over, Kaito was thankful Maki was just wearing one of her tank tops, lifting her arm carefully and sticking the thermometer in. He glanced around her, wondering where she was keeping the knife. She was wearing a tanktop and shorts, there wasn’t a lot of places… she might have been lying to protect herself. Or Kaito just wasn’t spotting it. Either way, she wasn’t stabbing him, so that was good.

Thermometer in, Kaito decided to feel her forehead with his palm, and while he knew his own fever was going to screw up the results from his own attempt to check, he was still surprised at the amount of heat he could feel. Maki was burning up. “Now, doc?” He asked, meaning taking out the thermometer. 

Nell frowned, watching Maki over. The woman reeked of sweat, but there was nothing that smelled dangerous. But Nell knew better than to think that meant that Maki’s condition couldn’t become dangerous. 

Giving Kaito a nod and taking the thermometer from him when he brought it back out, Nell frowned at the reading. “101.3…low enough that Miss Harukawa can stay with you two, but I’ll need to grab stronger medicine for her. Also…”

Nell rose, starting to take care of her patient, getting certain supplies out of the bag she’d brought. “She can’t keep her head under the blankets, she’ll just overheat. I’ll prepare a cold compress, and I brought a version that’s modeled after an eyemask so that should keep excess light out. Maki’s also going to need to drink as much water as she can handle, to keep from getting dehydrated.”

Fixing Kaito and Kokichi with a serious look, she asked, “I’m only not asking you three to come to the med ward because it will be more comfortable to rest here. But do you need someone to sit in and look after you all? Even if you say no, I’m scheduling a healer on duty to come by regularly to keep track of your medicine and make sure you’re hydrating. You all need rest, not to put your own recovery on hold to take care of each other.”

“Why do I feel like that whole speech was directed at me?” Kaito whispered to Maki.

“C’s ‘ur an idiot.” Maki mumbled back, burying her face back into the pillow… before groaning in protest as Kaito forcibly rearranged her to lay more normally against the pillow, rearranging the blankets lay across her more evenly as she glared murderously at him, “d’you wanna die?”

“Ya know what, Maki-roll? This is one of the rare times I’m pretty sure I can absolutely take you in a fight. So, bring it on, reaper.” Kaito grinned, pushing Maki’s hair out of her face… before losing his composure and hacking into his arms some more, his chest and stomach thundering as Kaito coughed like his body was trying to shout the phlegm out, Kaito looking a little out of breath by the time it was done. 

Looking to the healer, Kaito stood up straight and, a little dizzy, bowed at her clumsily before saying, “We’ll accept the check ins, I can… leave the door unlocked.” Kaito said, sounding a little uneasy at the idea, but, well, it’d probably be okay for at least the day, “I’m sick, but, like, I can re-fill waters and grab medicines for everyone here easy enough, it’s not like I can’t get out of bed, so I don’t think we’ll need someone to sit in with us. Thank you though. And I’ll make sure everyone eats and drinks, it’s, like, my specialty. I’m an eats and drinks kinda guy, ask anyone.” Kaito rambled, head feeling hot.

Having washed the thermometer and prepared the compress, Nell gave Kaito a small nod as she softly murmured to Maki, giving her a warning before gently laying it over Maki’s forehead and eyes. Especially if Maki was feeling a hot swing of the fever right now, the compress should come as a small relief. 

Though, Nell soon turned on Kaito, guiding him back to his side of the bed to lie back down. “I’m glad to hear it, but spend as much time as you can resting, alright? It’ll help the dizziness, especially if you can manage to get some sleep. You all can hold each other accountable for making sure you’re drinking and eating,” she nodded to both him and Kokichi. 

“An I’ll be jus’ next door,” Ikuo shrugged, making sure Maki’s food would be kept warm since it didn’t look like she’d be up and eating any time soon. “Can come ta unlock th’ door when th’ healers need ta check on y’all, if it’d be peace ‘a mind ta keep it secure. Sure Shu’chi’ll be wantin’ ta keep an eye on y’all at times too.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Kokichi smiled, looking a little drowsy after his soup now.

Kaito let himself be herded back to the other side of the bed, his head starting to kind of hurt now from all the running around. But his eyes had grazed the food too, worried as he realized Maki wasn’t likely about to eat now as he glanced over at her. She had mumbled something incomprehensible when the compress had went over her eyes, but Kaito was half amused and half worried to see her chest rising and falling in an even rhythm, mouth slightly agape and a slight wheezing snore out of her nose by the time he was sitting on the other side of the bed. Asleep almost immediately. Maki was out of it.

“That’d be perfect, Ikuo, thank you.” Kaito sighed, rubbing his temple, looking to his own bowl of whatever it was called again. Arroz something. Cardi? Cadre? Rice soup. Kaito looked at it with some displeasure, before refocusing on the cough drops offered. Mmmm, mint… popping that in his mouth, Kaito found that much easier to suck on then the lemon, giving the healer and Ikuo a grateful look, “Thank you for your help. We appreciate you.” he rasped, giving the two a weak grin.

Nell nodded, matter of fact. “It’s my pleasure, along with my job. We’ll see you three back in action before you know it--but there is a journey to get there.”

“Ain’t no thing,” Ikuo tipped his hat. “Anythin’ else you can think ta want? Other foods? Will be makin’ another stop anyway ta get grub fer Shu’chi.”

Reaching over Kaito, Kokichi placed his empty bowl on the nightstand. “It was perfect for me, thanks. I imagine the kitchen staff started preparing a chicken stock right when they heard I got the flu, huh.”

“...oh!” Kaito looked up, giving Ikuo a curious look, “Thin, plain cracker things? Any idea what I’m talking about?”

There was just a blank look from Ikuo for a moment before the clouds cleared and he nodded. “Can see what I can do ta get y’all some. Might make drinkin’ more water easier.”

Laughing softly, Kokichi snuggled back down in bed. “I told him about how you used to get me ‘em when I was sick… I won’t say no to some later, though.”

Kaito gave them a thumbs up, feeling pleased with himself. Hell yeah… wait, wait, Maki, “Can you get Maki, like, a really plain protein shake? Like, vanilla if you have it? And, do you guys have dorayaki’s here? Little red bean paste sorta pancake cookie things? I know, I know, not a great sick food, but Maki would eat those things on her damn death bed, I swear, it’d be a real treat for her. And…” Kaito grinned sheepishly, “Maybe a bowl of cooked soybeans if that’s okay? It’s fine if not.”

“Protein shake, dorayaki, soybeans, roti crackers, got it,” Ikuo nodded. “Can’ make any promises on th’ pancake, but we might’a gotten a shipment ‘a red bean paste. I’ll put in a word, if nothin’ else.”

Nell gave an approving nod. “If you can find something you can stomach, then that’s best for you, given how spotty that seems to be with this bug. Alright, we’ll leave you be to rest and eat for the time being, but someone will be up within the hour to check on you all. And I can assume Mr. Kauzaki will be back sooner with your food requests.”

“Fast as th’ wheel turns,” Ikuo nodded. 

“Ppreciate you,” Kokichi hummed, already snuggled down.

Kaito gave the two another thank you, watching as the door clicked shut behind them before sighing, running his hand over his face. Owwwww… his body felt… look, it was just aches and pains, but the word that kept coming to mind was ‘rotting’. He felt like he could literally feel himself becoming weaker by the second. Ugh.

Rice soup with soft veggies wasn’t exactly peaking his appetite… but, well, he couldn’t keep bullying Kokichi to eat when he was sick if he dodged eating himself when he was feeling a little under the weather. Grabbing his bowl, Kaito settled in to eat himself, deciding to wake up Maki later to make her eat– preferably with something she likes here to tempt her more– before glancing over at Kokichi and reaching over with a free hand to tuck the blanket more around the ends of his shoulders, “Get some sleep, beautiful. Want me to wake you when your dad comes back, or let sleeping ‘Kichi’s lie?”

“Mm, jus’ let me sleep, I think… I can eat the crackers whenever, it’s not like they’re only good hot.” Kokichi muffled a few coughs into his shoulder before relaxing, closing his eyes. 

…and then opening them slightly again, looking up at Kaito. “...I know it sucks a lot. There’s a reason people pretty much universally complain about being sick. But…hang in there. Dr. Pacuvius is right--we’ll make it out the other side. Just gotta feel gross and miserable for a little bit.”

Kaito grinned at Kokichi… before turning away from him and hacking his lungs out for a bit. Ew. He literally coughed up, like, a layer of slime onto his arm. He needed to wipe that off. 

Getting out of bed, he took a breath through the dizziness before going to collect a toilet paper roll from the bathroom, saying as he went, “It does suck, ‘Kichi, but ya know what? I’m choosing to see this as the universe reminding me what you’re talking about, when you’re telling me symptoms. Like, with yesterday, doing the bath? I can see the appeal of getting all this stuff out, but–” Kaito sighed, cleaning off his arm and heading back, bringing the roll with him, “--I feel exhausted, and trying to take a bath and do that just hoping it might work? Would feel pretty miserable right now. It was strong of you to try it, and I needed a reminder of what you put up with too often, beautiful.” 

“Pretty fair trade, really.” Kaito shrugged, sitting back down, putting the toilet paper on the night stand, before returning to eating.

Kokichi smiled slightly, closing his eyes again. “It is an exercise in empathy, isn’t it… Granted, this is very much specifically flu symptoms, but…yeah. When I feel weak and achy and tired…this is what I mean. You take my word for it, but…it is different knowing first hand.”

“Still wouldn’t wish it on others, though,” he sighed, a slightly rattling sound in his chest as he rolled to gently press his legs against Kaito’s. “I did warn you, and I know you never would’ve chosen differently…but I’m still sorry for getting you sick. Hope your fever breaks the next time you wake up.”

“Mmm, I maybe wouldn’t have risked Maki and Shuichi and Miyako if I had taken this more seriously. But you? Sick or healthy, I wanna be with you, ‘Kichi.” Kaito said, nudging his legs towards Kokichi too. “Get some sleep. Love you.”

-

Kokichi slept pretty peacefully, considering he was sandwiched between two feverish people and still sick himself. But when he finally awoke--just barely past noon, it looked like from their clock--it was only with lingering dizziness, his chest and headache still asleep for the time being. 

Ever so gently, he sat himself up enough to grab his water from over Kaito, smiling slightly at the food he could see there…though there was no way he was eating crackers in bed while two people were sleeping. 

…or one. 

Kokichi blinked in surprise as he turned back with his cup in hand, making contact with bright red eyes. Then he smiled sheepishly. “Sorry if I woke you up… How you doin’, Maki-chan?”

Maki blinked slowly at Kokichi, having woken up when Kokichi first started shifting around the bed. Which, for many reasons, had been alarming to Maki, though she had frozen entirely still, observing until she was entirely certain what was going on… why was she…

It took a second, but piece by piece memories of this morning came back. Not fully, but enough to give Maki context as she relaxed. Right. Shuichi had pulled her out of her room and thrown her into his bed. Right, cause… she’s sick. Hm. And then she had been woken up a few times to drink water by…

She shifted up onto her elbow, and as much as her body protested, Maki didn’t let it show on her face now that the fever had broken, peering over Kokichi to see Kaito’s much larger form, laying on his side away from them, clutching onto his pillow like he was trying to strangle it. It was funny, how rough he was holding pillows, when Maki had seen for herself how he held other people. How did his sleeping body know the difference?

She sniffed, and realized, “I’m starving.”

Kokichi grinned softly before quickly turning, coughing into his shirt. Ugggh…coughs woke up too. But Maki being hungry was a really good sign for her health. 

Rubbing his head a little, Kokichi squinted over to the other nightstand, nodding a little to himself. “Mm, can you reach the nightstand? I might be able to help out, but I’ll have to crawl around you… The soup might be kinda lukewarm by now, but…” Kokichi grinned fondly. “Looks like the kitchen made it happen, with the protein shake and pancake things…any of that seem appetizing?”

…he wondered if anyone had left a vomit bucket nearby. He hoped so, just in case.

Maki followed Kokichi’s gaze, and surprisingly enough, seeing the protein shake caused her to laugh. Weakly, her voice higher than she usually wore it just from the strain of talking, but there was clear amusement in her expression as she reached for the shake, sitting up with a groan she didn’t quite let herself express. Taking the shake, she spun the straw in it, mixing it, before taking a long sip… before another amused little laugh. “Terrible. Like they’ve always been. I imagine this was Kaito’s idea?”

Still amused, Maki put the shake aside… before her eyes widened at the small soft cookies. Darayaki’s… Maki took one and popped one whole into her mouth, ignoring her stomach warning rush of nausea at the action. Mmmmmmm…

Sitting back against the pillows himself since it seemed Maki didn’t need his help--at least for now--Kokichi laughed softly, enjoying the small rush of pure food-based joy from Maki as she indulged in what honestly looked like a favorite food. “Yeah. Dr. Nell was puttin’ us all in our places to get rest, and Kai-chan got the idea to ask for comfort foods. So…he asked for your shake and pancake, asked my dad about the crackers I used to eat when I was sick, and got some soybeans for himself.”

Looking over at the other nightstand, Kokichi hummed softly. “Looks like he was still awake when they came… Still looks like enough for a good snack later, though…”

“...mm, healers have been coming up to check on us, periodically, though I’ve just been asleep. My dad’s been helping out Shuu-chan and Miya next door, so he’s been letting them in. Prolly keeping an eye on things…”

“‘Rm, ‘ks ‘ensh.” Maki tried to say around the desert, grabbing another and wordlessly offering it to Kokichi, though her nose was already wrinkling. She was hungry, like, genuinely, but actually swallowing food didn’t feel great, and not just because her throat hurt. And swallowing that thing made her realize she needed more water, looking down at her own sweat stained body. Looking at her empty glass, she sighed. Guess she’d have to make a trip to the pitcher on the desk…

Later. She grabbed her terrible vanilla protein shake and decided to try to sip some more of it. She knew, objectively, they were awful, but a lifetime of drinking them had given them a sort of comforting feeling to her. Her stomach still didn’t like it though, twisting painfully as she took a few sips. Hm. 

Once her mouth was clear, Maki glanced over at Kokichi, looking him over. He looked pretty haggard himself, and though she suspected he only just woke up, he looked tired. Sipping at her shake again, she tried to say, “Sor…” she cleared her throat, “Sorry Shuichi brought me here. I could have just stayed in my room. I was just too tired to argue. I hope you’d wake me up before letting Kaito and I trap you in the bed.”

…he had no idea what that meant, but Kokichi gratefully accepted the little pancake sandwich cookie, taking a bite. Ooh…kinda funky, but it played nice with the sweetness of the pancake…he could get down with this. And now he knew what to look for, the next time he scoured the international market for treats for Maki. Mmm…

Kokichi gave Maki a look as she apologized, before shaking his head a little. “It hasn’t been a problem yet. Probably a sign I’m not drinking as much water as I should, if I haven’t had to use the bathroom yet, but…I’ve been knocked out. I kinda want sleep more, right now…”

“And it’s no problem, Maki-chan,” he softly smiled. “You’re sick ‘cause of me, anyway, and…I dunno. I like the three of us here. Makes less stops for the people looking after us too. If we’re gonna be miserable, then it’s a nice consolation to be miserable together.”

He’d of course prefer that his friends weren’t sick at all, but…there was something nice about having company in illness for once. 

Maki huffed a little at that, sipping at her shake… before a grumpy look came over her face.

“You don’t have to pee now, right?” She asked, pushing the blankets off her with sudden determined movement.

Kokichi snorted, shaking his head a little as he polished off the dorayaki. “No, I’m good for now. I should probably go before I fall back asleep, but I’ll make my way over when I’m ready. No dangerzone as of yet.”

Maki heard most of that, but really just the ‘no’ was all she was waiting on as she hurried over to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her in her effort to hurry.

Kaito made a small, startled sound, opening his eyes and looking around blearily… before closing them again as he turned over, mindlessly reaching over to Kokichi, putting his arms around his lap and burying his face into Kokichi’s side as he murmured, “Go back to sleep…”

Kokichi snickered a bit to himself. No dangerzone caused by him, but one caused by Maki, then. He was glad she could make it to the bathroom--sometimes that trip seemed impossible, even with the very good motivation of your body trying to explode out on you. 

Looking down as Kaito cuddled to him, Kokichi smiled softly and ran a hand through Kaito’s hair, massaging his sweaty scalp gently. “I will, sweets. Love you, my sick sweetheart.”

Kaito mumbled something that was probably an ‘I love you too’ or at least something in that vein, but he had fallen asleep before he really finished the sentiment, exhausted. Trying to stay up while he was sick had been relatively easy at first… but admittedly, as the hours had gone on it had gotten harder. And by the time he had been willing to actually settle in and sleep, it was mostly because he just had too by that point. His fever still not quite breaking. 

It was a minute, but Maki came back out, looking notably more tired then when she had gone in, sighing deeply as she stopped by the desk, grabbing the pitcher and, her arms trembling, she poured herself another glass, before, again wordlessly, asking Kokichi if he wanted a refill too. 

Taking her water back to bed, Maki rested the glass against her forehead, sighing… “I used to hide in my closet, when I was sick.” Maki said, rubbing her forehead as the coolness soothed her a little, “I say ‘closet’, it’s not like you’re imagining. It was a sliding door. Shockingly efficient to lock from the inside, if you know how and have a metal pole the right size. I’d make a little bedding at the bottom, slide the door closed, put up the metal pole, and sleep for as long as I could get away with.”

Blinking, Maki recalled it… “I sort of miss it. It was such a small space. Walls pressing in at all sides, entirely dark. It felt safe. It wasn’t, but it felt it. No one ever had to break in to get me out. I’d undo it whenever anyone called to me. But the fact that no one ever broke it down meant I could imagine no one could break it down. My perfect, safe spot… I miss it. I bet whoever got my room threw away the pole. Didn’t recognize its use.”

While he was still tired--weary in the way being sick tended to make you--Kokichi didn’t immediately feel the pull of unconsciousness. His headache was manageable, nothing in his body was fiercely rebelling, and there was nothing pressing to focus on. He could just sort of…exist for a bit, and Kokichi was going to take advantage of that. Also to drink a lot of water and try and keep his hydration up. 

So, very gratefully, Kokichi took the refill while Maki was up. 

And maybe it was just how awful she was feeling, or the calm in the room, but…Maki began to talk, reminiscing a little bit. And Kokichi closed his eyes and sipped from his water, imagining it. 

“How foolish--even if you’re not gonna hunker down often, if you’d found a pole the perfect size, that’s just a shame to throw away…” Kokichi took a deep drink of his water. “...that sounds really peaceful. Just a little space that was yours, safe to recover in… Without windows I bet you could get that really perfect darkness that’s the best for sleeping off headaches in.”

Maki nodded, glad that Kokichi was a man of sophistication, who would recognize the value of a perfectly sized pole. She hadn’t had to cut it down or anything, she had literally just found one that fit. Admittedly, she had found it while it was still connected to other poles that, theoretically, the builders would have quite liked to have not had to replace… but whatever, she used it more than that fence did.

“It really was perfect. I was the right size for it and everything. I convinced Kaito to try it once and he got stuck. His knees got pinned and trapped the door closed.” Maki smirked, amused by the memory, “I pretended to go get lunch instead of helping him out for maybe ten minutes before I took pity.”

Something dislodged in her chest at the word pity, and Maki started coughing, taking Shuichi’s pillow and coughing into it a bit before settling, sighing as she buried her face into it… “Gross.” She muttered, as she moved back, really looking at the pillowcase, “This thing’s been through the ringer already. Do you all keep extra pillow cases somewhere?”

“Oh nooo,” Kokichi laughed softly, sniffling at the end. “Poor Kai-chan… The guy hasn’t had the best experiences with closets, has he. A real shame, they’re cool places to hang out.” Or have a mental breakdown in, which was why Kaito hadn’t had great experiences with closets in Dicea, at least. 

Sighing, Kokichi gulped down some water and leaned over Kaito again to put his glass back on the nightstand. “I think we might have one or two emergency ones in the closet, but most spare linens are in the linen closets in the hall… Might be worth waiting until the next person comes to check on us, if you can suffer the grossness.”

“I can’t imagine how gross all the laundry is gonna be after this,” he snorted. “But all new sheets and blankets and pillowcases always feels really nice, that first day.”

Maki made a little disapproving noise, glaring at the pillow, weighing her options… before she sighed, just turning the pillow over and putting it back down, laying back on it. Whatever. 

She was silent for a bit, and truth was she was debating with herself the possibility of just staying quiet and hoping she fell back asleep… before she sighed, opening her eyes and staring at the ceiling. “Unacceptable, really. I feel like I’m drowning just laying here. Do you have any buckets or bowls?”

“You didn’t happen to see one on your way back to the bathroom?” It was partially a question, partially an answer in itself as Kokichi shrugged, but he soon sighed, setting to squirm out of the bed. 

“Fine, fine… I’ll grab our trashbin when I come back from the bathroom, just for Maki-chan. …and maybe another roll of toilet paper,” he hummed, noting the partially used roll on Kaito’s side. 

Coming out the other side of the blankets, Kokichi crawled over the endframe and…ooph. For a moment just steadied himself as the room spun, his face pale and his body wobbly. But with unfaltering steps, he headed towards the bathroom.

“Do me a favor, brave Ouma, and turn on the bathroom faucet when you’re in there too, as hot as it will run. Just leave the bin, I’m going to use it.” Maki ordered him, taking a deep breath and coughing through it. Ugh. “Not for long if you had other plans for it. I just need it for ten minutes.”

Maki watched Kokichi go, before looking over to Kaito. Who, now that his arms were ‘Kichiless, automatically went back up to his pillow, pulling it partially down and holding it into a stangle, his legs starting to spread as he laid out his hips. Maki watched his slow claim to more bedspace with amusement, before reaching over to poke his leg.

Kaito’s legs drew back, a pinch in his forehead as he sighed in his sleep, curling into himself more. Far too used to adjusting for other people in his bed. Maki watched him, before reaching out and poking his shoulder.

Kaito sighed again, reaching up to grab her wrist and just holding it against his neck, relaxing. He was still warm. Frowning, she shook him.

“Hr’m?”

“When’s the last time you took medication?”

“‘Dunno… ‘re we getting up?” Kaito rasped, blinking sleepily, letting Maki’s wrists go as Maki pulled back, getting out of bed, “‘Aki?”

She went to go grab the fever reducer from the desk, brining it over to Kaito, who saw the pills in her hand and winced, before relaxing when he saw she had brought water with her. “‘Don’t know’ is a worthless answer. Eat it. Vomit if it makes you feel sick.”

Kaito snorted at that. “Brutal… kay…”

Kaito took the pills, drinking down the water before sighing, laying back down. “... ‘kichi?”

“Aye, aye,” Kokichi hummed, giving Maki a little hand gesture as he wobbled his way into the bathroom. Having just done it the day before, he could guess that she was going to try and do the steam coughing thing. More power to her, if it actually worked. 

Letting the bath run as he did his business, Kokichi shivered a bit against the toilet. Stupid flu…stupid flu getting his friends sick. Making the world feel all gross and achy…ugh.

It was already starting to steam up in the bathroom a little by the time Kokichi came out, looking a little peaky but pleased to see Kaito, an empty glass beside him. And, apparently wondering where he was. 

“Just about back, Kai-chan,” he hummed, crawling back into bed, just getting in from Maki’s side since she was up. “Time for more meds? Seems right…”

Yawning, Kokichi gave Maki a fair look. “I’m gonna hold you to ten minutes. If fifteen go by, I’m gonna assume you passed out, and I’m gonna sound the alarm.”

Maki gave Kokichi a curious look at that, “I’ll probably just do it by the window, honestly, but I appreciate you staying on top of it.”

“‘Kichiiiii, come–” Kaito coughed, big, loud rasping things, before sighing, still sweating, “Come back to meee… god my voice is a mess.” He rasped/squeaked. “It’s like puberty all over again. What are you doing by the window, Maki-roll?”

“Steam trick. Make you do it later when you’re not maybe about to vomit.” Maki muttered, heading to the bathroom.

Grabbing the wastebasket, she filled it up about halfway with the steaming water, turning off the bath and grabbing a towel on her way back out, she went to go sit by the window, opening it up to not make the room too hot and muggy, before with a sigh, she put the towel over her head and curled up around the bucket, using the towel to trap the rising steam and guide it directly into her face.

Breathe in… breathe out… cough cough, spit… breathe in… out… cough! Hck-ptu!

Kaito blinked at that. “Oh… that’s so much less work.”

Kokichi gave Maki a curious look in turn, but obligingly crawled into bed next to his husband, cuddling next to the sweaty, sick man like the wonderful spouse he was. “If it weren’t for the coughs and how awful you feel, I’d say it’s cute. Kai-chan getting to be the squeaky one for once…”

Tiredly, Kokichi watched Maki set up and… “Ohh… Yeah, that does seem easier… But I did need a bath yesterday anyway.”

Sighing, Kokichi nestled himself against Kaito even more, though he kept an eye on Maki. “Probably would need one today too, since we’re all sticky, but…I dunno. I can sit in ick for a day. Take a long bath tomorrow, maybe when I’m not feeling so dizzy… Probably shouldn’t chance a shower either way, since it’d probably just make me dizzy if I wasn’t already.”

“Just wanna lie in bed~”

“Dizzy Kokichi… mmmm… doesn’t rhyme even when you, like… try to force it…” Kaito murmured, putting his arm around Kokichi again now that he was in arm grabbing range, closing his eyes as he sighed. “...dizzy… d’eezy ‘kichi? Deezy… was gonna dance with Maki-roll…”

“Take a raincheck on that.” Maki muttered beneath her towel, her air starting to clear up a little as she breathed in the steam. Each breath in and out a little deeper, and little longer, testing her limits before she started hacking again, hitting another glob. “Kick your ass dancing later.”

“Kick your ass dancing… dance kicker…” Kaito murmured sleepily. 

“You’ve definitely forced less fitting rhymes than that,” Kokichi hummed, putting his hands over Kaito’s. Was spooning while they were sick going to result in being way too hot and a lot of coughs on his neck? Probably, but it also meant that Kokichi had his husband around him, and that was a very compelling bonus. 

Taking a deep breath, Kokichi wiggled his toes under the blankets. “Hmm…dance fighting… Like Capoeira… Has Maki-chan ever seen a Capoeira exhibit at the dojo? I’ve only seen diagrams but it seems really cool…”

“No,” Maki said between hacking into her steamy bucket, “Never heard of it.”

“Capoeira… capeoria… capricorn…” Kaito suddenly snickered against Kokichi’s neck, “Hey there, beautiful. What’s your sign?”

Maki groaned over the bucket. “Knock him out, Kokichi. He has a spot just behind his jaw, press it hard enough and he’ll be out like a light. For all our goods.”

“So that’s what it does…” Kokichi hummed, rubbing Kaito’s hand. “What a strange trigger point. I mean, I’ve known for a while that it’s more than just for makin’ ya melt when we’re making out, but it’s an unconscious button? Weird.”

Sighing, Kokichi pressed back against Kaito. “Go back to sleep, hun. It’ll feel better for the meds to do their work. And don’t worry, I’ll be right here. Unless I gotta get up to pee again.”

“Glass jaw.” Kaito murmured, eyes closed, “Don’t like to advertise it, but, yeah. Makes me feel weightless and floaty, till, like, I’m just out. Feels good, kinda, till it doesn’t. Can grip my jaw a certain way to lessen it, but, ya know, gotta be careful to not let people punch you in the jaw either way. Broken jaws are no fun.”

Maki snorted above the bucket, amused by that. No, they were not.

“‘M gonna go back to sleep… can’t remember which sign is which part of summer… bet you’re a Leo…  are Libra’s compatible? I bet they are… astrology’s stupid, but I bet the stars approve of us… we’re obvious. The sun, the light, the moon… ‘Kichi’s the Light of Dicea, Maki-roll. But I think he’s the earth. All the good things grow from him… Maki feels like fire, but sometimes she feels like the tide. Goes out, pulls me back in, back out again…  dreamt I was the ocean, cause the oceans what she was…”

Each word became softer and soft, more and more muffled. And when it finally drifted off, Maki peeked out from underneath the towel, her face red with steam. “He out? I don’t know how he does that. Who talks literally until they fall asleep?”

Kokichi had heard Kaito use the term before, but he didn’t really…get it. Even now he didn’t really get it because, like…how. But he knew the effect it had on Kaito, and if it knocked him out then he’d believe that. He’d be more careful touching the area in the future, though he didn’t think he was prone to exploiting it as it was. 

A little amused, Kokichi listened to Kaito ramble, interjecting with soft hums every once in a while, though he kept his laugh down once it felt like Kaito really fell asleep. Thinking of fitting pieces and the tide…

“Kai-chan, apparently,” Kokichi hummed fondly, looking at Maki’s red face. She didn’t seem about to tip over so…good. “Gotta love my chatty guy… Know it helps Miya sleep too--she seems to like listening to us and making sure we’re still there, even if she’s sleeping. I can relate. Though I imagine Maki-chan can enjoy the aspects of having sleeping space to herself. Never gotta worry about kicking someone in the shins.”

“Mmhm. I’ve never been a fan of sleeping in bed with others, even back when I was dating,” Maki admitted, laying the towel around her neck and sighing as she sat back, letting herself breathe in cooler air now that the steam had done what it could for her. God, her nose was running now. “I do, of course, because they like it. Sometimes you just do things because it makes your partner happy. But I enjoy having my own space.”

“That used to drive Kaito crazy.” She sniffed, putting down the bucket and heading over the bed, grabbing some toilet paper, before looking down, “I found your bucket. Kaito’s got it half buried under the bed, it’s full of used tissue. I’ll still empty out the steam bucket though. Unless you want to use it yourself before I do?” she offered, blowing her nose.

“Mm. We really lucked out on sleeping compatibility. Even being so used to sleeping on my own, after the first night Kai-chan and I spent the night together? I’ve never wanted to go back. Shuu-chan’s talked about how hot it gets with us sometimes, but he hasn’t tried to kick us out yet.”

Sighing softly against his pillow, Kokichi shook his head. “Nah… I tried steaming yesterday, and I’m good for now. And the bucket’s probably better used holding tissues, honestly… Better than them getting all over the floor or in bed with us.”

Still pretty awake, but closing his eyes to rest his head, Kokichi smiled slightly. “I know some of it is just my own tendencies but…yeah. Kai-chan’s a really cuddly guy. Shuu-chan’s talked before how jarring it can be, going from friendly touches to dating touches… And I like cuddling a lot, but sometimes it’s too much even for me. I can see Maki-chan’s level really highlighting that difference.”

Maki laughed lightly at that, though it wasn’t an entirely friendly laugh as she went to pour out the water. Speaking louder so Kokichi could hear her, she admitted, “Oh, yes, that’s one way to put it. One more little thing highlighting one more little difference…”

Bucket drained, she brought it back to her side of the bed, sitting in it before, finally, picking up the bowl of soup that had long gone cold, unconcerned as she started to force herself to eat it. “You know, people have told Kaito and I how much we’re alike, before. I can’t see it, and I think that’s specifically because we’ve dated. Or, maybe it’s more fair to say  we were too alike, but in incompatible ways. Two stubborn, aggressive personalities don’t make a unit, they make a fight.”

“But we’d constantly hurt each others feelings over the little things.” Maki sighed between spoonfuls of cold soup, “I’d need space, which made him feel sad and used, and then he’d make me feel guilty for making him feel like that. I’d try to fake it for him, but I could never seem to actually do it in a way that convinced him I wasn’t faking, and he’d ask me why I was doing it if it made me so unhappy, which would make me angry because it’s obvious why I’m doing it, why is he calling it out when it makes him unhappy… we were happiest in moments. Like fireworks. There’d be these big, beautiful, breathtaking moments, the kind of moments where you think to yourself ‘all of it was worth it for this’...”

She shrugged, giving Kokichi a tired look, “Then the fireworks would end and it was just nothing but a black, empty sky with no stars because your eyes couldn’t begin to see them through the smoke left behind. Day to day consistency is better for a relationship then big, romantic moments where everything just seems to fit. If you can have both? Even better. But we didn’t have the day to day. Kaito needed too much of me and I couldn’t give it without complaint, when I gave it at all.”

It was a way to say it, and Kokichi had done that purposefully. Just…trying to be kinder than thoughtless words. Maki and Kaito had found something good, but…there were still feelings there. Feelings of what could’ve been, tender, hurting spots, angry spots… Just because Kokichi wasn’t worried about Kaito going off on a tryst with Maki didn’t mean that things were simple and settled between them. 

Kokichi opened his eyes a little, looking up at Maki. Maybe, in a way, it was in bad taste to do it while in the arms of the man they were talking about, but…Kokichi’s sympathy was genuine. Not every relationship worked out, even if you really wanted it to. Even if you once thought it could. 

“I’m glad you were happy with the fireworks,” Kokichi said softly, giving Maki a gentle look. “Even if the rest didn’t work out in the long run…I’m happy you both had those perfect, amazing moments. And I’m happy you’re figuring out a day to day in a new way. I’m happy with Maki-chan in my life. With the relationship she has with Kai-chan, for every complicated or at-odds bit. It’s precious.”

Maki nodded, the gesture a simple acknowledgement, unsurprised, though the look she gave him was fond. “I know. This worked out the best way it could, considering the circumstances. It’s a strange dynamic, and I do understand why Mr. Nidai worries about it so much, but… it works. In its own way. And it really is only for now. One day I’ll have my own relationship and you all can be the third… fourth wheel? Sure, fourth wheel, there’s three of you, that’s three wheels, one of you would technically be fourth. Five wheels in total? With you three being the odd ones out. We’ll see who’s gross and lovey-dovey then.”

“...still probably you three,” Maki supposed, shrugging, “Hopefully whoever I do end up dating some day will just be okay with the fact that I’m not the cuddly type.”

Finishing her soup, she sipped at the broth, blinking tiredly… “It is good, that you don’t mind me. There were people in both our lives, who didn’t understand. Everyone used to think they were just the rebounds or time wasters until the two of us finally, actually got together. Before senior year they were kind of right. After high school they weren’t anymore. Never changed what anyone thought…”

“...” Sipping at her broth, tired and achy, Maki confessed to Kokichi, “On our way here, I did wonder what I might do, if Kaito didn’t love you.”

Kokichi snickered softly. “I’ll look forward to it. I’m gonna be like a proud parent, all excited about your relationship and hearing about whatever you wanna share, and it’s gonna be insufferably sweet. You and your SO are gonna be so exasperated. Y’all just wanna chill.”

Despite his utter certainty, Kokichi could understand Nekomaru’s concern, and the feelings of other people Maki and Kaito had dated. Kokichi was in a unique position. He and Kaito were married, and had been married without any regard for their feelings beforehand. And being forced to make things work…they found utter adoration and devotion to each other. Later, to Shuuichi as well, though Kaito’s feelings had always been there. 

Kokichi knew about the deep love between Kaito and Maki and…well. He was in a position where he was allowed to see its beauty. And its tragedy. Kaito would never leave him so…Kokichi was never left feeling like a proxy or a number two. He was just…someone Kaito loved, in a different way than the way he loved Maki too. Something outside the bounds of being described and contrasted by terms like romantic or platonic or…whatever. All the feelings could be there, and they didn’t have to be at odds.

And in another universe?

Kokichi hummed softly, giving Maki a curious look. “You’d wanna try again?”

Maki’s face went serious, giving it some thought… “I don’t… really know.”

“...I think the crux of the fantasy– and it was a fantasy, this daydream I’d play idly in my head all the way here,” Maki sighed, shrugging at herself, “Is that I’d end up… well, it sounds pathetic saying it aloud, but that I’d end up ‘saving him’ from you. Like one of those stupid stories he reads. He’d…”

Maki huffed again, clearly embarrassed at herself as she said it all aloud, “Marry some idiotic prince from Dicea, you’d either be evil or, I don’t know, just sort of intolerable. And Kaito will be trapped in this loveless marriage alone in this new country with only me and the very uninterested at the time Shuichi, and I’d just… be some knight in shining armor to him, as pathetic as that sounds. Just swoop in and save him, either take him away from here or be his secret lover or… I’d make him happy.”

“Don’t ask me how that fit into my equally prevalent daydreams to go back to Luminary at some point and finish my mission. Maybe I’d tell Kaito about it and he’d give me the orders that would protect me, because he was just so in love with me by that point,” Maki said, rolling her eyes at herself, “Or maybe he’d forgive me… or maybe I’d lie to him and for the rest of our lives he’d pretend to believe me. Because, well… he’d be alone otherwise. Trapped, and alone, with only me… it’s not that much of a love story, when you really think about it.”

“Aw, Maki-chan…” Kokichi gave his friend a sweet smile, enjoying hearing about her romantic daydream. It didn’t really matter that he was the ‘villain’ in the fantasy--it wasn’t really him. And it was really cute, hearing the idle outlet for Maki’s romantic feelings. 

But…

Kokichi shrugged a little. “That’s why it’s a fantasy--most stories don’t really work out if you start thinking about the logistics, and…honestly there’s a lot in fiction that would be really fucked up if it was real, but is cute in stories. In terms of fantasy? Still all a cute love story.”

“But with that definition…I’d be less inclined to call your plans for Luminary daydreams,” Kokichi hummed. “Cause even if you didn’t do what you thought you would when you all were coming to Dicea…it still was all a plan.”

Kokichi paused, not…sure if he wanted to open this up when they were feeling so terrible, and especially with Kaito sleeping literally behind him, but…

Kokichi sighed softly. “...maybe it’s just because that’s how it turned out. But…I can’t imagine a world where you didn’t work out some way to save your siblings… All of those hopes remaining a daydream…just doesn’t seem right.”

“I wanted it so badly.” Maki whispered, putting her bowl of soup aside and leaning back, feeling better after all of that. Not great. But definitely better. Though she grabbed more toiler paper and blew her nose messily, tossing it into her own bucket, “I wanted it so badly that it didn’t really feel like a ‘want’. It was just something I was going to do. Had to do.”

“Honestly? It felt like madness, most of the time. Every time I lost one of them? Every time I failed one of them? The certainty that I had to get them all out just became more solid. Like there was nothing I wouldn’t do. It was a fixation. Honestly, it was terrifying, when I realized what I’d be willing to do to accomplish my goal… after a certain point? It doesn’t matter how benevolent the goals are. You’re still the villain of the story… you just only hope that when the world moves on without you, it’s still better off for what you did.”

That’s why it wasn’t a fantasy. It wasn’t a daydream. Hell, it wasn’t even really a goal at that point. Maki’s drive to save her siblings was a foregone conclusion, because Maki very literally was going to save them, or die trying. And Maki Harukawa was very, very good at not dying. 

Kokichi nodded, sighing softly, but he offered Maki a gentle look. “...if it means anything…I truly believe the world is better off for what you did. For having you in it. Maybe there were lines better off not crossed, but…at the end of it all, I truly believe there was more good going on in the world than bad.”

“...and now, they are all out. Siblings you hadn’t seen for a long time establishing their own lives, the siblings you had to leave in Luminary living confusing lives, but ones filled with opportunity, and all the siblings that maybe aren’t even siblings, but kin all the same… It’ll take time for things to change in Luminary, but…now on paper, they’re in charge of their lives. It’s an incredible thing, you’ve done.”

Kokichi took a deep breath, not quite a yawn but something similar. “...I can’t remember if we talked about it before… One of your siblings is like me. My mentor’s been keeping an eye on them…but they seem more interested in playing with all the new toys their parents got them than learning about Empathy. It makes me happy, that the most pressing thing kids have going on is…what they’re gonna play the next day.”

“...yeah.” Maki smiled, looking relieved at that thought. As much as it had cost her? Emotionally, morally, physically? It hadn’t been worthless. She had succeeded. Sometimes that was hard to conceptualize for her, to really let it in, but… that didn’t make it any less true. 

And it felt the most true when she saw the kids around the city. When they came to visit the castle, asking for advice, or wanting to tell her about something interesting that had happened to them. When they wanted to see the… she looked to Kokichi, smirking, “I was right, to hold onto all those momentos I told you about. Some of the kids wanted to see the things they gave me. It would have broken their stupid young hearts, if I had thrown them away… I was happy I got the chance to show them I kept them. And the ones who I couldn’t show again… well, I’m glad I’ve kept them.”

Though, at this, Maki’s eyes widened, “Really? One of mine? Let me see if I can guess…I feel like if it was one of the older kids I’d have found out by now. Those kids can’t keep a secret, not from me, anyway… oh god, please don’t say it’s Jaime. Jaime’s already going to have such a difficult time focusing growing up, he doesn’t need the extra distractions. Tyrone? I could see Tyrone being empathetic enough for it to be a super power, he’s a good kid… okay, I can’t guess. Which one?”

“That’s wonderful,” Kokichi laughed softly. He didn’t see the kids as often as Maki, between sticking at home more often for Miya duty, and just the fact that really only a few of the toddlers seemed happy to see Kokichi at all, and it wasn’t like any of them were gonna ask to come to the castle just to see him. But a lot of the kids did for Maki, and when Kokichi happened to see them in passing? It was really nice. They were good kids. 

Kokichi grinned through Maki’s guesses, giggling a little. “Aw, I could see it making sense for Tyrone too, but…no. It’s Lorene. Alter Ego said that she probably won’t be a particularly strong Empath, but they’ve been helping her through it regardless. It’s the job us older Empaths have, when we notice someone new in the community.”

Kokichi didn’t exactly want to make a habit of outing other Empaths, but…well, Lorene was Maki’s sister, and Maki already knew about Empaths. There wouldn’t be a chance in hell of Maki using that information to hurt her sister, so Kokichi didn’t have to worry about that. And hopefully it’d just make for another person for Lorene to turn to if she needed help. 

“Lorene…” Maki sighed, thinking about it. Where was the danger… well, the danger was her running her mouth about it to people. But it sounded like Alter Ego was already on the whole ‘mentoring’ thing. Good… she’d probably still take Lorene to lunch and have a serious talk to her about it, though. Come to Maki if she felt like she was being hunted, big sis would take care of it…

Something inside her growled. No one was allowed to hunt Hers.

Maki sighed again, wiping her forehead with the back of her arm, “Thank you for telling me. These kids, I swear. They’re such a hassle. Kaito thinks he’s gonna get old early taking care of two? My hair should have gone gray years ago.”

“Maybe your mentor has the right idea checkin’ out the spas around here for relaxation then…though something tells me it wouldn’t quite be your style of relaxation,” Kokichi snorted softly. 

“...my mentor said once that pretty much the only way Empaths get outed is by saying something themselves, but…I mean, you’re her sister, and you already know about this stuff,” Kokichi hummed, explaining his thought process. “And it’s not like you wanna hurt Empaths either. I don’t wanna blow up other Empaths’ spots, but…I think it would be good for her to have someone to turn to, if something happens. She’d already do the same for other kinds of emergencies.”

Sighing a bit, Kokichi rubbed Kaito’s hand around him. “...I know you sort of have already, but I really wanna introduce you to Alter Ego. It’s hard for me to “host” all your minds, but…I dunno. Maybe I can do a mass intent thing, linking to them, like I did for showing you all Chibi Kai-chan.”

“Couldn’t tell you. Making us see a hallucination seems less difficult then dragging us all into your brain just… hypothetically.” Maki agreed, her eyes closing, feeling the creeping draw of sleep, trying to drag her under. Maki hated having to sleep. She could have gotten so much stuff done so long ago had she just not needed to rest so much. So frustrating. “But honestly, I’d probably nod along with anything you said, when it comes to your abilities. I really have no grasp what you can and can’t do, and what your efforts cost you. Shuichi talks about it endlessly. It’s one of his favorite subjects right now. I’m fine with listening, but I have nothing to add to these conversations, beyond just cautions to think it through.”

Opening her eyes in little slits, her red gaze glistening out through her exhaustion, she mused, “You’d think, considering my situation, I might be more personally invested. But even knowing there’s some busy-body dragon living in my head hasn’t really changed how I feel about anything. I’m still very much a human living in a human world… it just turns out some people in that world are capable of things I couldn’t have guessed. And some of those people aren’t ‘technically’ human, and can see the future, or are ‘mind cats’...”

Maki sighed deeply. Clearly slightly exasperated. “Astounding, how normal things still feel, when the world becomes decidedly abnormal. It doesn’t seem to matter what happens around me. I never feel different.”

Kokichi smiled slightly. As much as curiosity could get you into trouble sometimes, it generally was a wonderful thing to have. And, personally, Kokichi adored seeing that light and drive return to Shuuichi. His interest and confidence in seeking out those answers…it was incredible. He was excited to see what all Shuuichi would find in his quest to learn more about the world. 

But as much as things changed--or at least their perception of them--the more they stayed the same. 

“I think that might be a good thing,” he hummed. “I mean…you’ve seen my struggles. And I can’t really say that everything feels the same because…well, there’s a lot I’m doing now. Projects I’ve taken on that hinge entirely on this new discovery of the world… But at the end of the day, most things are still the same. We still have our family, still have to eat, still have budget sheets and plans in town. I think you and my dad have a similar feeling of it all. He’s always said to me that ‘folks ‘r folks’ and despite how different everything might seem…the world really is just as it’s always been. Nothing big just from our personal discovery.”

“I suppose that sums it up, yes,” Maki nodded, closing her eyes again, relaxing… before they suddenly opened, and she glared at Kokichi, “Have you eaten?”

Kokichi nodded, unbothered. “Yeah, I had the soup this morning… Don’t wanna eat crackers in bed, and that’s not really much for food anyway, but I’ll eat when lunch comes too. Been keepin’ up water too, no worries, Maki-chan.”

“Wonder if it’ll be more of the same… If the kitchen’s preparing for flu, they might just be makin’ big pots of stock for soups just…the whole time.” Kokichi sighed softly, nuzzling into his pillow. “S good. Like noodle soups…”

Maki huffed, the glare edging out of her as she settled into her pillow too. “Good. Not about to have Kaito whine that everyone else is just gonna ‘let’ you starve yourself. Idiot thinks unless he does it himself, no one else is ever gonna think of anything or take any precaution… couldn’t imagine being like that,” Maki smirked, “Sounds like an exhausting way to live. What a moron.”

Kokichi smiled softly, rubbing Kaito’s hand. “He is really exhausted. M glad the sleep aids seem to be working for him… He’s had some other issues, but…I think overall he’s doin’ better. Taking better care of himself. Makes me wish we’d talked about it sooner, but…at least it’s now.”

“Still an idiot.” Maki decided, though she agreed. They all seemed to be doing better, honestly… current illness notwithstanding. “You’re an idiot too… make sure you wake me up if you need to get out of bed in a hurry. It’s fine… better than you pissing the bed.”

Maki murmured this sleepily, scoffing at her own example, before turning over, peering at Kokichi and Kaito for a moment… before making a little satisfied sound. Closing her eyes and choosing to go back to sleep.

Things had turned out fine. Complicated… but fine. Maki was content with things as they were.

-

Kaito had talked to Maki and Shuichi about it beforehand, asking them to take over his and Kokichi’s shifts that day. 

“Ask in a submission bow.” Maki had callously ordered, spinning a dagger she was sharpening idly as Shuichi looked up from the magical folklore book he was reading.

Kaito, only a little sheepishly, did so. After some hemming and hawing, the two ‘debating’ it with each other, the escorts agreed. They’d cover for Kaito for the day.

It was a little silly, Kaito knew. But as the morning light peeked up, giving Miyako a kiss and whispering to her to wish dad luck that day, Kaito finished buttoning up the black blazer that he had bought and had tailored for himself, grabbed his red cape– only feeling a little nervous about wearing it in public now– and left a note carefully folded and placed right on top of Kokichi’s forehead, to Shuichi’s sleepy amusement, before Kaito left.

Koh,

Come find me.

~Caleb

Kokichi hadn’t thought anything much of the date at first. Why would he? He had gone out to walk around town and pester people like he did sometimes multiple times a week. He had been far more focused on the arrival of the Luminary party in a few days' time. However, once the date actually gain significance, it was easy to retroactively mark the date. Six days before their wedding, the second day of summer. 

The day Kokichi and Kaito had met. 

He wasn’t sure if there was anything he actually wanted to do for the day. Kokichi had been busy planning their anniversary party, conferring with all their friends and renting a room and gathering decorations and set pieces and food and…well, he’d had his hands full, more than he’d planned anything for their actual wedding. But considering the party, he felt a little weird trying to set anything up for the day they met too. Maybe a little overly sentimental. 

But who were he and Kaito, if not overly sentimental people? And when Kokichi found the note on his face when he woke up, a bright grin broke out across his face. Shuuichi had given his blessing to go out and have fun, proving even more than Kaito was planning something and…well. Why not go all out. 

His hair was shorter, so he couldn’t exactly wear it in the weed-wacker style he’d had a year ago, but he still wore his plain shorts and suspenders, rolling up the sleeves to his loose button down…though he still wore his newer tennis shoes. Prepared for anything they might get up to. 

And…for old times’ sake, Kokichi climbed over the west wall, heading to the marketplace. He wasn’t sure if that same apple sales cart was still in the spot it was last year, but…well, he could go to the area.

It wasn’t, but Kaito wasn’t too worried about it, looking over the pears curiously. He was sure the apple cart was around here somewhere, but the carts tended to move around the market as time moved on, and Kaito trusted that Kokichi would still remember the general area anyway.

In truth, Kaito had only worn the maroon guard cape the second day, when he was trying to impress Kokichi with it– sigh. He felt a little embarrassed remembering that. He had really wanted that random kid to like him. Kaito just wanted kids to like him in general, he had found– but Kaito had decided it’d be fun to put together a new outfit that kind of encompassed the ‘idea’ of what he had been wearing those days. He had gotten a black suit put together, styled after the kind Shuichi wore so often, though Kaito still left his blazer open to show off his slick button-up, the whole outfit fitting him well this time, rather than ever so slightly too small as he tried to force himself into Shuichi’s ever so slightly too large clothes.

And around his shoulders he had his guardsman cape, though he was wearing it slightly folded, letting it almost entirely hang off one shoulder rather then flatley against both. He had clipped it to maintain the fold, and decided in the mirror that morning that he had fashioned it just enough that it… well, hopefully wouldn’t send any major red flags to any Dicean veterans that might be around. Not a guardsman cape! Just a nice, fancy maroon cape! 

He thought he looked good! He hoped he did, anyway. No, he did. Red and black went well together. How was his hair? He kept trying to catch his reflection in a shop window, idly fixing it this way and that. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous. He supposed he just hadn’t thought this day all the way through, really, and he was just… Kokichi had been putting so much effort in the the wedding anniversary. He hoped his husband wouldn’t mind how random all this was…

Even across the marketway, Kokichi already couldn’t keep from laughing. That red cape and spiked hair… What had Kokichi said? He was pretty sure he’d made two different metaphors, comparing Kaito to both a chicken and a duck butt. He’d been right on the money too--Kaito’s style wasn’t indicative of broader foreign fashion. It was just all Kaito. 

Skipping up to Kaito, Kokichi gently tapped him on the arm. “Hey stranger, you look like you know exactly what you’re doin’. Mind a curious tag-along anyway? You probably know all the cool places to hang out in town, but…they’re a lot more fun experienced with someone else, don’t’cha think?”

Kaito lit up, looking away from his reflection in the shop window to greet Kokichi. He had something sarcastic in his head, maybe asking Kokichi if he was lost, if his parents were nearby… but he was a little startled by Kokichi’s appearance. He had guessed that Kokichi might wear the same thing he had been wearing when they had met, but…

Kokichi had aged, in a year. At least in Kaito’s eyes, he had. Maybe it was because Kokichi wasn’t putting on all the little childish mannerisms he had, when Kaito had first met him… or maybe Kaito was just more used to them now? He honestly wasn’t sure. Kaito just couldn’t imagine mistaking Kokichi for a kid now. He looked too obviously adult, to him. 

So Kaito let the joke go, grinning down at Kokichi before leaning down and greeting him with a small kiss, “Hey yourself, stranger~ sounds like you’re volunteering. I was actually planning to visit the gardens and maybe grab a morning drink at some pub somewhere. Wanna come? We could call it a date, beautiful.” Kaito grinned, giving Kokichi a wink. “Though I have to warn you, I am currently engaged.”

Kokichi grinned into the kiss, running a hand down Kaito’s sleeve--the jacket actually looked his size, this time, like it might actually be able to close over his chest--before squeezing his hand briefly. Thinking about it now, Kokichi had no idea how Kaito had managed to fit into Shuuichi’s old clothes. The seams were already being stress tested before he’d had to get them let out. 

“Oh, that sounds like a wonderful day out--a perfect, brief tour of the city. Just add in seeing the aqueduct and I’d call it ideal.” Giggling a bit, Kokichi could only grin up at Kaito. “And what a coincidence, since I’m engaged too~ Thankfully, my fiance knows my habits of going out into town to find handsome, tall redheads to bother, so I don’t think he’ll mind.”

“I wonder what we’ll see in the garden… There are a lot of fruit ripe for picking, and the head gardener this year is a really nice person.”

Kaito snorted, taking Kokichi’s hand and walking in step with him as he chided, “Ah, I see. Got a type, hm? I can’t relate. Tall, short, blue hair, purple hair, I’m into all sorts. Though, I swear, my fiance has his eyes on this one guy all the time, beautiful amethyst eyes… makes me feel pretty jealous, not gonna lie. Feels like I’ve got some real competition there.”

“Oh!” Kaito’s eyes lit up, as he said, “I didn’t buy one because I didn’t want to get too distracted, but there was a stall for something called ‘star fruit’. They didn’t look like stars, but the vendor swore up and down that if you cut into one it makes a star shape, and apparently it’s really crisp and good… ‘Kichiiii, can we go find star fruit? Do they have anything like that growing in any of the gardens?”

He loved Kaito so much… What a year. 

Laughing quietly, Kokichi hugged Kaito’s arm as they walked, tickled by the little play they put on--so they really did pretend to be strangers after all--but even more amused with the total break. “Oh, starfruit is good--it’s really nice in parfaits, and it’s super cute if you get those fancy novelty ones, since they take full advantage of them looking like stars…”

Looking back around the market, Kokichi squeezed Kaito’s hand again. “We’ll have to buy one at that stall you saw, though. They’re a tropical fruit, so anyone who grows ‘em has to do it in greenhouses. Gets too cold outdoors for ‘em.”

His eyes going wide with excitement, Kokichi hummed. “Have you ever tried a Dah’et’s Hand? It’s a citrus that you just typically eat plain, and it’s really good.”

Kaito looked longingly back in the direction the stall had been at. He had been worried that if he bought the fruit and started cutting it up, he’d get too distracted to properly greet Kokichi whenever he got there. But now he had a hand full of ‘Kichi and star fruit was just right theeeeeree… beaming down at Kokichi he said, “Let’s go get some and bring it to the garden, then. Maybe we can find some of the fruit you like too? First I’ve heard of it, I think.”

Following Kaito’s gaze, Kokichi found the fruit stall selling starfruit, and he turned to start walking them back in that direction. Settling down somewhere and eating fresh fruit? It seemed like an even better start than the last time. 

Though there was plenty better this year than last year. 

“Let’s do it!” Kokichi cheered. “Usually winter’s the best time to buy citrus, but we might be able to find some.”

At the stall, not too terribly busy so early in the morning, Kokichi looked around for a price sign, reaching into his pocket to fish out some coins for the fruit. Oh…the kiwis looked really good too--maybe they could have a nice fruit breakfast together!

They did do that, putting together a small bag of fruits that kept catching their eyes, though Kaito raised an eyebrow at the look of the ‘hand’ fruits. Sort of looked like a mix of carrot and banana without even being kind of close to either of those things, but, well, Kaito was up to trying it. They found a few more, along with one loaf of pretzel bread that Katio smelled on their way past a shop and couldn’t help but want to grab one of, and with their spoils they headed to the gardens, where they had found a nice spot to watch the view and were currently digging into their breakfast. 

Kaito knew he was biased as all hell, but he really did think the starfruit tasted amazing… and it wasn’t just because holy shit! Look, Kokichi! Look, they actually looked like stars! That was so cool! Kaito cheerfully cutting into them with a dull knife that one of the vendors had taken pity on them and passed along for them when Kaito had lamented on how they were going to get to see the star shape without them.

It was a beautiful, cool crisp summer morning, and Kaito wiped some juice off from the side of his face as he mused, “So, Miu really did make the aqueduct look like a dick, and everyone just… let her? Or did they not notice?”

Starfruit and kiwi and Dah’et’s Hand and Kokichi picked up a small carton of strawberries too…together with the pretzel bread, it was an unorthodox breakfast, but Kokichi found himself giggling with delight. Eating fruit and sitting in the garden with his husband…it was perfect. 

Snorting, Kokichi half-shrugged as he bit into a strawberry. “Some of both, really. It only really looks like a dick from the right angle, you know? And while she did have to submit designs from all sorts of angles, so engineers and constructors would know how to build it…I mean, it works really well. It’s not like it’s incredibly inefficient, or is losing anything by the way it’s built so everyone was just kinda, like, sure, why not. And it’s a fun bit of trivia people who notice get to share.”

Nudging Kaito’s leg a little with his foot, Kokichi gave him a grin. “It caught your curiosity when I showed it to you, didn’t it?”

“Mmmm,” Kaito nodded, chewing through a strawberry… before smirking. “I was thinking about those hallucinogenics a lot. We’re both lucky I thought you were like fifteen when you told me about that, cause I wanted to be responsible and not put bad habits in your head, but man, any other situation and I’d have absolutely ended that day tripping balls. Which! Would have been bad. Had to go back and prepare for a speech and all that… Shuichi and Maki would have gotten into a lot of trouble if they covered for me and I came back talking about ‘pretty colors’.”

Kaito shook his head at himself a little, “They really took a risk, that day. Next one too. But I’m grateful they did. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened to us, if we hadn’t had a chance to meet before the proposal. Somehow I honestly think it would have made things so much harder. We hated each other, sure, but… at least that jumpstarted us getting to know each other, a little. Somehow I feel like we’d have barely talked, otherwise.”

Kokichi laughed softly, snapping off a segment of the Dah’et’s Hand. “We would’ve had more stops to go to, if you were more interested--it takes some doing to process a cannabis plant into something you can actually smoke. I probably would’ve directed you to a dispensary, then it would’ve been all annoying since you wouldn’t have had an ID on you… I don’t know if there would’ve been a version of that day where you actually would’ve gotten high.”

They had both been really dumb that day… But…

“That seems about right,” Kokichi grimly smiled, shaking his head a little. “I thought you were awful…but I still had those memories of…talking to a cool stranger that liked awful romance books and wanted to hear me tell stories and treated me to a meal because we were ‘friends’. All that did make my perceived betrayal…well, betrayal, but…I know there was a part of me that never let those happy memories go. They made you more of a person, and one I was willing to give more of a chance, more than the weird foreign prince I half-pitied.”

“...Shuu-chan probably would’ve still found out about the kids,” Kokichi hummed, something fond in his eyes. “He and Maki-chan found all that out without my help at all. And you were the person that saved them…if Tim would’ve even tried something without us going to the greenhouse. You guys would’ve been just fine, even if I never got involved…”

“Sigh,” Kaito said aloud, grabbing some pretzel bread, “No matter which timeline we’re in, Kaito doesn’t get to do any inebriated fun stuff. Tragic. Ah well, was still probably for the best.”

Kaito listened to Kokichi talk, nibbling on the bread. Betrayal… yeah. Kaito hadn’t meant it to be a betrayal, but even if it wasn’t the intention, he had been a dick to Kokichi, those early days. Acting like a reckless asshole, and then doubling down when Kokichi hadn’t handled Kaito’s bullying well. Kaito wasn’t proud of those early memories. Too many things he had failed at. Too many things he could have done better.

Maybe Kaito would have made a better first impression as some kicked puppy thrown at Kokichi after the proposal, but… Kaito doubted it. Kaito never felt like a victim those early days. He had felt brave and strong and proud, and if he had doubts and fears? Well, that just made him act more like an asshole, trying to push those feelings away and live comfortably as the Luminary Prince of the Stars. Kokichi would have probably found Kaito insufferable, and would have probably rightfully ignored him until Kaito got his act together.

Though he scoffed at Kokichi’s conclusion that he hadn’t helped. “That’s not how Maki and Shuichi explained it to me. According to them, you were vital to getting me taken down when I was swinging a sword around, raging out on pure spores. Maki said I had the room advantage, I had a hostage, that she couldn’t see a way of taking me down without seriously injuring me, and she tried. I saw the boot-shaped bruise on her stomach to prove it. According to them? You turned the tide. I heard all about it because they were impressed with it.”

“And the greenhouse was both of our faults. If I hadn’t insisted on going with you, I don’t think Tim would have tried anything either. His stabbing desires were very Momota focused. I was the one who betrayed our kingdom with my whorish ways, after all.” Kaito grumbled, rolling his eyes, “War had to end cause I couldn’t keep it in my pants, according to my then nine-year old. Phew. Sometimes I forget how wild all that was.”

Well, they still had time for that in the future. Kokichi was pretty sure he remembered hearing that Kaito and Mikaku had had some sort of chat during the heatwave about the strategist baking up some truly baked goods for them. Kaito had also talked about staying sober for that, but…well. They could figure something out. 

They’d had a lot of mistakes, but…Kokichi thought they were pretty decent at figuring things out, all things considered. 

Letting out a small, sheepish laugh, Kokichi shrugged as he took another slice of starfruit. “Well…maybe I helped with that part. Getting Waku-chan out unharmed, and you and Maki-chan…well, not needing to be rushed to the medical bay, even if you probably should’ve, I think I can count that as help. Seeing Shuu-chan burst in there, not wanting to see you guys hurt…I felt like I had to do something.”

Sighing, Kokichi shook his head a little. “And it was only the beginning… Sometimes I really don’t know how we all made it out of those first few months…”

“...but we did.” Kokichi’s voice went soft as he put a hand over Kaito’s for a moment, smiling softly up at him. They had made it out and…made something really beautiful, despite everything beating them down. 

Kaito lit up as he felt Kokichi’s hand over his own, Kaito having been watching people walking down the pathways, a few walking dogs. Leaning over to press a kiss against Kokichi’s cheek– ha. He tasted like that weird long fruit he had been eating– Kaito grinned at him as he leaned back. “Cause we’re awesome! If all of that can’t take us out, what can? Not much, I’ll tell you what. Ya know, it’s a shame history will never recognize what a couple of badasses we are. We totally deserve some bard songs about us… but, like, for the cool stuff. All the cool things we triumphed over. Not just being a footnote in Luminary’s history, or just the cool policies you’ll make when you’re a leading Ouma someday, or hell, even just talking about the wedding isn’t giving us enough credit. We’re both worth way more than just… wedding metaphors.”

Turning his gaze skyward, watching clouds blow lazily through the blue sky, he mused, “Maki thinks she won’t be remembered. Apparently on paper all the credit for the rebel groups leadership is going to Makoto Naegi. Brother of one of my old friends, one of the ones who… I always wanna say ‘went missing’.” Kaito frowned, “I wish I had a better word for it, sometimes. Kidnapped, I guess. Taken. The brother of one of my taken friends. Maki thinks her involvement will be forgotten, or she might end up some cautionary tale or something, about rebels who take it too far. Shuichi won’t be remembered in Luminary at all. He’s amazing at what he does, but he’s just one more royal detective in a lineup of them. Maybe he’ll be remembered for marrying two princes? Maybe… he still deserves to be remembered for more. Shuichi’s a badass too…”

Kaito blinked, before saying softly, “I hope he won’t be remembered for the spore stuff. Probably not, but it would suck if he was. We’re more than the worst things that happen to us, ya know?”

Kokichi let out a soft laugh before turning his own contemplative gaze to the sky, bringing up his legs on the bench to cross under himself. “We are… There’s a lot, that each person is. There’s a part of me that’s deeply sad there aren’t stories that can capture every part, or even big parts of every person…but I think we’d all be doing nothing but telling stories if so.”

“...that’s kind of what Remembrance is,” Kokichi hummed, glancing over at Kaito. “The way most people honor the dead in Dicea, if their religion doesn’t have specific rites. It’s…telling stories about people. Remembering them. Highlighting all the cool, awesome stuff that should be in songs and stories, just…trying to keep that big picture of a person alive.”

Maybe it was a little too morbid, but…it was the subject they were on. 

“...I hope Maki-chan’s remembered for her love,” Kokichi started in a soft murmur. “That she stays as a story of someone who loved so much nothing could stop her from fighting impossible odds, and making them possible. And…I don’t think Shuu-chan really wants to be remembered for anything big. So much of the time he wants to be forgotten, even by people who are still around.”

“...but I hope he’s remembered by all the individual people he’s helped. And all the people he will help going forward, by people of all kinds. That the things he discovers become foundations for future discoveries.”

Kokichi snorted a little. “And it doesn’t sound as nice in a narrative, but I hope you’re remembered for your love too. A bright star that lit up and warmed everyone who had the good fortune of being close enough to feel it. The hero that stayed, when too many people forget that that’s one of the hardest things of all to do. I hope people will remember your warmth.”

Kaito grinned, enjoying listening to Kokichi talk about what he hoped Maki and Shuichi would be remembered for. He wasn’t wrong, Shuichi would probably be mortified to end up in a history book somewhere, but Kaito agreed that he hoped Shuichi’s legacy of knowledge, of the risks and experiments he had tried, would be passed down by people who had benefited from those risks. That Shuichi would continue to do those things for people in the future (And that it would cost him less.).

And Kaito knew Maki’s love would be remembered. If history never acknowledged it, then the people Maki had fought for would. Her siblings would grow up and old, remembering what their strongest siblings had done for them. Maki had faced every danger possible in their names, and had refused to flinch. (She had made the universe bend, and while Kaito did not know the full extent of how that was true, he hoped she’d as well never have to do so in a way that cost her so much again.)

And he probably should have seen it coming, but Kokichi talking about him had taken him off guard regardless. Kaito listened quietly, a little sheepish and embarrassed– Kokichi always made Kaito feel so much bigger than he was, it could be a little overwhelming sometimes– but his eyes darted to him as his husband called him a ‘hero who stayed’. Kaito felt warm affection run through him at that, and he laughed lightly, scratching the end of his eye as he warned, “Careful, ‘Kichi. You’re gonna make me all teary here. It’s too early in the day to make Kai-chan cry.”

Acting on whim and impulse, Kaito scooted closer to Kokichi– not exactly closing a great distance, they were already pretty close together, but pressing against his side now– as he nudged him a little. “People are going to remember you. They’ll have a chapter for you in your history books, biographies written by historians. They’ll remember your choices and your laws and when you decided was important, and I have full faith they’ll remember you as wise and trustworthy, cause you’re both those things already. Someday you’ll be on a little card and they’ll sell you with chocolates at the magic shop. You’ll be some kids favorite in their collection.”

Taking Kokichi’s hand, he brought it up to give the back of it a small kiss, as Kaito said softly, “And I’m the lucky one, because I’ll always get to know all the little things history will never come across. I’ll know that Kokichi Ouma likes vegetables more than he lets on, but he likes playing at being a brat because it gets him attention, because he knows damn well how cute he is. I’ll know he was brave whenever it really counted, whenever other people were depending on him. I’ll know how sweet he looks when he’s rolling his eyes at me, and how sweet he is when his eyes are rolling,” Kaito grinned, a lingering kiss at that, before continuing on gently, “History won’t remember that you cry at the sight of waddling baby penguins being taken care of by their parents, or that you sing so gently to our daughter that she’ll just stop what’s she’s doing to listen to you, like you’re the prettiest sound she’s ever heard.”

“They’ll never know what your hair looks like in moonlight, or the freckles that pop up around your nose in sunlight.” Kaito grinned, leaning against Kokichi a bit as he sighed, “What a shame. History will never know all the best parts of you.”

Kokichi looked back at Kaito with a smile, leaning in when his husband came closer. He knew Kaito got flustered when he praised him, but…all that was genuinely Kokichi’s hope. His husband was so much more than just a footnote, or even a chapter in a history book. He was more than the second son to the Luminous throne, during the years Leon had been in power, more than a prince sent to end a war, more than Kokichi’s husband. He was a bright star that made people smile, and gave them confidence. He was a man that loved his family more than anything and supported them with everything he had. He was someone that experienced some of the worst tragedies a person could ever experience in life, and at the end of it all, because he had made it out, still decided to love and care. 

Kaito was amazing, and more than history books would ever say. 

And Kaito thought the same of him. 

Kokichi blushed, his eyes following Kaito full of love as he kissed around his face and told small stories of the things that made up Kokichi the person, Kokichi’s heart turning into a warm, gooey mess. Grinning, he leaned in to kiss Kaito again, tasting the sweet tang of their breakfast fruit. “I believe in sharing a lot, for the good of everyone… But I think there are some things I like just having for me. Like how you carry your son on your feet, just because he likes it, and how you encourage everyone around you to eat balanced meals. How you splay all out in bed when you take naps, and spend an hour getting ready in the bathroom… The fire in your eyes when you’re getting really into a new project, or talking about a story you love… It might be selfish…but I like knowing those things and having them for me.”

“I’m so happy we met.”

“I’m happy too, ‘Kichi,” Kaito grinned, leaning his head against him, just breathing him in a bit, “... I don’t take an hour. Like, maybe forty minutes. Sometimes. Occasionally an hour if my hair just won’t stand right. It’s not that often!”

He said all this with an amused grin, nudging Kokichi as he teased, “At least my clothes match. I’m sorry to tell you this, babe, but whoever used to do your shopping for you? I’m, like, convinced they went out of their way to make you look goofy as hell. I feel like you were being pranked at one point and just, like, leaned into it or something. Actually, tell me who used to do your shopping, I think I gotta spar a bitch.”

“An hour and a half if you think you can get away with it,” Kokichi chuckled, pressing his head against Kaito’s. “If I’m not waiting outside the bathroom sighing every five minutes, who knows how long you could take? Buttoning and unbuttoning the same button twenty times.”

“And I like looking goofy as hell,” Kokichi laughed, pressing a kiss to Kaito’s cheek. “It pisses off Denji-chan so much. Some of my clothes were actually bought together, since they bought me some, and made me some too, but I always just pair ‘em with other stuff. Way more fun that way… The collection was helped, though, ‘cause I’d just bother whoever I could find to buy me more clothes when I needed some. Lake-nee, Aiichi, my uncle, even Katsuki-chan a few times. Getting so many people to buy so many different styles of what they thought I’d like made it all fun~”

Kokichi paused for a moment before giving a sheepish shrug. “Plus I still fit into some clothes I got at, like, thirteen. Some stuff has worn out, ‘course, but, I mean…clothes are made to last years and years. If it fits and isn’t full of holes, why not just keep it?”

“Cause your style should grow with you, ‘Kichi.” Kaito huffed, shaking his head in open disapproval, “And I don’t just mean your literal, like, size. A thirteen year old should want to wear something different from a twenty-one year old, or, really, more vice-versa. You ever seen a kid with good fashion sense? The answer is no. If a kid looks good, someone older than them has good taste. Kids go around wearing every dumb accessory they can possibly find all up and down their arms and think, wow, I look cool.”

Kaito was clearly making fun of himself at that point… before he admitted sheepishly, “I have… maybe ignored my own advice when it comes to my hair. Admittedly. I just never got tired of the style! Everything else I try makes me feel really, like, soft. This is the only style I’ve ever had that makes me feel big and heroic. I have considered changing it up, but, man, I really just can’t think of a look that wouldn’t make me feel sorta more… plain, I guess. Which I’m well aware isn’t a bad look on me, but, eh…”

Kaito shrugged, chewing on his star fruit some more… before his eyes suddenly widened, “Can we go get the tail today?”

“It does,” Kokichi snickered. “In that I just get new stuff and pair it with the old into constantly new outfits. And I am being a little hyperbolic--I have donated some old stuff. But…I like big, loud colors and designs, and while the cuts I like have changed a little, for the most part things like tee shirts? Are still all good.”

“And I think kids look sweet. If they’re happy with what they’re wearing, then it looks good!”

Kaito probably would look good with any new hairstyle, but…well, kokichi had to admit it was hard to imagine the look of Kaito with anything else. Even when he didn’t gel it up it felt like something was missing. But, well, if he ever did want to try something else, Denji would be more than happy to help. They had all those wig heads for a reason. 

Tearing off a piece of bread for himself, Kokichi looked at Kaito in confusion for a moment, before his cheeks quickly bypassed pink and went straight red. “...yeah,” he murmured, clearing his throat. “We can check out some shops. See if there’s anything we want.”

Kaito grinned. He couldn’t help it, Kokichi looked so cute when he was flustered. And his husband was increasingly difficult to fluster these days, so Kaito couldn’t help but admire the looks when he saw them… but he leaned down and gave Kokichi a quick, reassuring kiss against the temple as he said, “We don’t have to. The thought came to me cause we were out here, but, like… it’s kinda a special day too. I mean, I think it is, anyway. If shopping for toys would kinda spoil the memory for you? We can do it some other time.”

“I’m really excited about the party you’re putting together for the wedding anniversary, by the way.” Kaito said, giving Kokichi a little bit of space, letting him air out the heat coming off his skin, “It’s going more smoothly then the wedding plans are. You know Shuichi said no to releasing a flock of doves over us when we give our vows? I thought it was such a cute idea! Why did no one back me up on the doves thing?”

Kokichi shook his head a little, though he gave Kaito a small grin. “It wouldn’t spoil anything. I just get embarrassed--you know that. I meant it when I said this is something I wanna explore with you. I like that part of our lives, that it’s something we share together…I just get flustered.”

And Kokichi wasn’t sure if Maki and Shuuichi would be amenable to continuing to take over their shifts all day…but it would be nice to get to celebrate a little more at home. 

Taking a little breath to center himself, Kokichi smiled at Kaito. “I’m excited too…for both. It’s just…I really like the idea of being able to celebrate our love with our friends. Like the best parts of a birthday party, but for multiple people, and there’s no obligation for gifts.”

“And the imagery of the doves is nice, but animals shouldn’t be used as props,” Kokichi rolled his eyes a little, though there was a smile on his face. “Getting the permits for all those doves, let alone finding a handler that specializes in doves, and then wrangling them later… We’d get a moment of birds flying above us, then a lot of bird poo everywhere around. You don’t even like birds that much.”

“I don’t have to, like, pet the birds or anything for them to fly through the air like a majestic, white veil!” Kaito gushed, splaying his arms wide as he motioned like birds were flying past, “Symbols of our peace and union and love… but, like, times a hundred what we were planning for the first wedding! And none of them dying! Well, maybe a few dying, if they poop on our outfits… god, birds are just the worst.” Kaito pouted, getting flooded with the reality of birds.

…not like cats. Kaito grinned, cheeks flushing warm. He honestly had no idea why the mental image delighted him so much. Fuck, that little ‘nyaa’ had ruined him… oh, right, the hunting thing. Maybe all of that was interconnected somehow. Or maybe Kaito was just trying to rationalize random impulses his body had. He honestly couldn’t say, but…

He sighed, rolling his eyes at himself a little. Like Kokichi, he knew the odds of them actually getting to do anything today was loooow. Ah, Miyako… sweet little cock-block baby. She did not know what her father sacrificed for her. Was it time to send her to school yet? God, Kaito was going to ravage his partners in, like… five years or so. When the baby was finally out of the castle for a few hours at a time. Their asses didn’t know what was coming.

Kaito laughed at himself, shaking his head. “Your husbands an idiot.” Kaito told Kokichi with a grin. “Just so you know.”

Kokichi rolled his eyes a little more as his husband rambled about the realities of birds, but…

…uh…

Kokichi’s face quickly warmed back up, and he nudged Kaito gently, looking away as he put a hand over his mouth. “Wouldn’t call that idiotic… I’m impatient too, but…gotta be responsible. And not horribly traumatize our two month old.”

It was already going to be horrible enough that she’d be able to pick up on the…less fluffier parts of her parents’ love for each other. But that was just life. They’d have talks early and…Kokichi could teach her how to do the mental equivalent of putting earplugs in. 

Not perfect. But livable.

Kaito gave Kokichi a briefly confused look, bringing the bread up to his mouth to nibble some more… before his brows furrowed. Horribly traumatize……….?

His eyes widened and eyebrows shot up. 

“...oh nooooooo, really?” Kaito groaned, putting his head into his hands, “Noooooooo… we have to worry about that? Oh… fuck.”

Groaning, Kaito rubbing his palms into his eyes, before idly taking a bite out of the bread that he was still holding between his fingers, looking grumpily at the grass now… before he turned to Kokichi, “Okay, I haven’t wanted to ask this because it feels paranoid and I totally trust you babe.” Partly a lie, but Kaito didn’t feel like he was lying. He did trust Kokichi! With certain things. “But, like… what’s the range of you being able to… read a book? How far? Like, I know you can’t always control what you read, and I’m not asking you too. I just… have you ever just randomly started reading my books when I’m, like, out in the city or… in the bathroom or…?”

Kokichi sighed softly, giving Kaito a mildly flustered look, though it was mostly coming down from Kaito’s last feelings. “If I really want to read? Then…well, I don’t know for sure, but theoretically anywhere. I know off-continent at least, and, well, ‘cause I know what your books are, I could probably find them anywhere--distance isn’t a factor.”

“But for, like…ambiantly reading?” Kokichi sighed again. “I’m not sure. I wanna say same room. Maybe bathroom distance, if your books are…really big. For Miya’s reading habits, I’d say just not being in the same room would work for most things, but…she likes our books best, you know? She might be trying to read before she really understands why not to. And…yanno. Sometimes our…uh…”

Kokichi furrowed his eyebrows, trying to stay in the metaphor. “...we flip through our books casually? Without really thinking much of it, while we’re near her and…she might catch some words. So…yeah. It’s a concern.”

“Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,” Kaito groaned, scratching at his scalp a little, considering things… before deciding, yes, “Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn.” Was the appropriate response. He kept at it for a bit, the little whine in the back of his throat going on and on… before he sighed. “Well, shit. Damn. Damn… okay, I can… write pure things around the baby. I just have to… never look at you and Shuichi ever again. Or, uh, honestly, anyone. Never look at anyone ever again. Kokichi, we might have to blind me. For our daughters sake. Can we train Chase to be a seeing-eye dog? That might be the answer.”

Another sigh, though Kokichi patted Kaito’s hand gently. “We’ll just have to be prepared for questions. She might have some earlier than her peers but…we’ll have to explain all that stuff eventually. And as soon as I can, I’m teaching her…how to…filter? Er…ignore books she sees just around. Use content warnings.”

“Luckily she won’t remember anything that’s going on right now and…hopefully by the time she will start to remember things, she’ll understand why not reading every book she sees is a good idea.” Hopefully. Very hopefully.

Kaito sighed. Rubbing his temple. “...karma, man. I’m telling ya. I got to be a little wild child for so long, and the universe was just, like, no. No more for you. You’ve had too much, we’re cutting you off. Here’s a little literature baby, she’s gonna make certain you don’t sneak behind the bar and grab another bottle. Tsk. Little narc baby.”

Chuckling, Kaito shrugged, “Ah well… the trials of parenthood. It’s nothing we can’t handle. Just, still, damn.”

Looking to Kokichi, Kaito nudged him a bit, before asking, “Alright, Kohtalon. That was the full name, wasn’t it? Mr. ‘Everyone Calls me Koh’? Still wanna go get ripped off at Sakura’s? You know she totally overcharged us that day, right? I didn’t notice then, but I know better now! Two ales and some food does not cost two gold. She took us for a ride.”

It was no reason to have No Fun Ever Again, but…well, their childhoods were behind them now. They had children depending on them to be safe, reliable parents. They’d feel out of their depths, but every parent did. They just had to keep trying. And rely on the people they trusted to take breaks every now and then. 

Laughing a bit, Kokichi nudged Kaito right back. “Hey, people do call me, ‘Ko’. I felt like I was brilliantly creative, just picking out a book character to go by.” Shaking his head with another laugh, Kokichi started patting his hands dry with his handkerchief. “As good as her pub food is? …yeah, totally not two gold. You know, I always felt thankful that she didn’t out me, but maybe it really was all a bribe. Can’t say I mind too much--I really like her pub.”

Stretching as he stood, Kokichi perked as an idea came to him, and he turned to Kaito with a hopeful smile. “Could we stop by my flowers on the way? I wanna check on ‘em.”

Kaito nodded, cleaning up the mess before joining Kokichi, “Let’s do it. Little cornflower time~”

It was a slow, easy walk. Kaito held Kokichi’s hand, but for the first time in a while, it was easy to not just stare at his husband. He was enjoying the people watching, other people enjoying their summer day out in the gardens. Kaito took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill him, squeezing Kokichi’s hand gently. It was in small moments like this where being in Dicea felt more natural. 

He idly thought about not terribly much. He kind of wanted to ask Kokichi random questions, but a part of him didn’t want to disturb the quiet. To let the peace last. But as they approached where Kaito knew Kokichi’s flowers were, he grinned, “Eyyy, there they are… my favorite part of your wedding outfit…”

It was a lovely day. The summer heat was there, but not too much, so people were just…out and about enjoying it, though there were only a few kinds of weather that people on the whole stayed indoors from. But hearing other people on walks, chatting or singing, excited or peaceful…it was lovely. Being out among them. Part of them. 

Just like his cornflowers. A part of the garden just like everything else. One Dicean among the many that made up the country. 

Pressing against Kaito affectionately as they came to his little flower patch, Kokichi let go of his hand to crouch by the cornflowers, just as bright and wild as ever. Carefully looking for bugs, Kokichi leaned in to get a whiff, humming happily at that fresh peach smell.

“I really liked them too… I dunno if I ever told you, but the reason I was a little late to breakfast was because Lake-nee and Denji-chan had been arguing about when to put the flowers in my hair. Denji-chan was worried about them wilting by the time the wedding actually happened… But they really did hold up, huh?” Kokichi looked up, grinning at Kaito.

“The breakfast of our wedding day? Were you late?” Kaito mused, trying to remember what his morning had been like… ah, right. Shuichi had been trying to tell him Maki had gone missing while some of the servants had gotten him dressed. Man, Kaito could barely remember that morning… he did remember thinking Kokichi was beautiful, but… well, that was a given. Kokichi was always beautiful. 

“They held up beautifully.” Kaito agreed, a sudden memory of seeing the flowers splay out with his hair, Kaito undoing the pins when he realized they were still there, the kimono spread out, a flowery backdrop to an even larger spread of stars… “You were breathtaking.” Kaito recalled, a small sigh in the memory. 

Peering at all the flowers, Kaito asked Kokichi, “They’re your flowers. So, like… would it be bad for me to pick one and put it behind your ear?” Kaito grinned, shrugging, “You don’t really have the hair to pin it down anymore, but it’ll be pretty for a moment. Oh! We could get a pin or something, pin the flower to you. Drake did that for me. Did I tell you about that? I pinned the flowers to my waist, it was very dapper, I thought.”

“A little,” Kokichi shrugged with a bashful shrug. “I was the last person to show up, at least. …you really were so incredible, that day. I thought you were the coolest.” Not because of how he looked, because Kaito looked pretty goofy with his hair all slicked back--that was a style he probably shouldn’t experiment more with--but…just constantly choosing Kokichi over the Luminary admins that day…even when it was scary or actually put him in danger…

Kokichi wished he could’ve protected Kaito that day. From the admins, from his sense of duty, that had hurt things so deeply between him and Maki and Shuuichi…but he really had protected Kokichi so much. 

Looking down at the flowers, Kokichi gave Kaito a grin and a nod. “As long as we leave the roots and don’t, like, pick all of them, it’s totally fine. I think I see the end of where someone else picked one too.”

Briefly, Kokichi looked surprised--Kaito hadn’t really mentioned much about his day out with Drake, other than the Big Thing--but he then laughed a bit. “He did? Aww, that’s sweet. I didn’t notice it on you, when you came home…damn. I bet you looked amazing. You looked incredible in the flower crown you made on my birthday.”

“Ya know, I think I might have actually lost it before I managed to get home?” Kaito admitted, pouting a little at that, “I stopped, like, keeping track of it when we got in our argument and started moving around and stuff, and at some point it just dropped off. It was pretty, he got me these red and white flowers. Not roses, I wasn’t sure what type they were, but I felt very like…” Kaito grinned, shaking his shoulders a little, “I dunno. Not flirty, but special. It was cute.”

As he said this, he carefully used his thumb nail to cut the head off one of the cornflowers, picking it up and inspecting it for bugs, blowing on it a little to see between the petals… before, deeming it safe, he tucked it behind Kokichi’s ear. “I’ve seen this a few times now, but I’ll be honest, ‘Kichi… I never get tired of it.” Kaito admitted, admiring Kokichi as he ran his fingers through Kokichi’s hair. 

“We’ll get a pin somewhere.” Kaito decided, straightening up and stretching his back. “Pin it to your straps. It’ll be cute.”

Kokichi smiled softly. “It seems like he really was trying to make a nice day out for you. I dunno if I would’ve taken the same route, trying to do something special for you, but…it was nice, both from Shuu-chan and from Drake. I’m glad that they’re friends.”

Staying still through Kaito’s inspection of his flower, Kokichi beamed as he felt it tucked behind his ear, though he reached up to try and secure it a little more. Standing up as well, he posed a little, showing off the flower before he looked at his suspenders with some surprise, honestly kind of having forgotten he was wearing them. 

“Oh…honestly I could just wrap the stem around my suspenders and that would probably work…but let’s see if it’ll stay behind my ear for a while!” he nodded excitedly, popping up to give Kaito a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, hun. Ah~ My cute husband got me a flower~”

“Repeat after me, babe. Rug-ged-ly ha-nd-some. Ruggedly handsome.” Kaito said, patting Kokichi on the back a bit before pulling him into a hug, “I will also accept ‘dashing’ or…” Kaito paused, trying to think of more, “...hunky. Hunky works. I think I embody ‘hunky’ pretty well. We should take a poll. See what the majority would agree wit. Ruggedly handsome, dashing or hunky. Who should we ask first?” 

Kokichi nuzzled into the hug, grinning cheekily. “All true, definitely. But also~ Cute! Adorable! Darling! I’ll even say a precious sweetheart, just ‘cause it’s all so true! Mmm, I could rig this poll pretty well, but I think asking Shuu-chan would give us the most objective take. Totally.”

Because depending on his mood? He’d pick and choose the monikers to get the best reactions out of them both. Their fiance was a mastermind like that. Or playful, depending on who you asked.

“Nope, nope, and wroooong… and nope.” Kaito shook his head, gently steering Kokichi back down the path, the pub next on his mind, “Let’s ask Sakura. Or one of her brothers. They’ll recognize my masculine charm, and how it needs a similarly fitting masculine moniker!”

Kaito’s mind was on the day with Drake now, able to muse on some of the stranger aspects of it. He snorted, “Ya know, so, when me and Drake got into our fight? I wanted somewhere private to talk… I asked him if he wanted to talk at a brothel. Or, no sorry, a strip club.” Kaito corrected himself, shaking his head, “I keep forgetting they’re not called brothels here. But, like… so, Fuyuhiko, right? Every time he wanted to have some big, heavy conversation, or just be an asshole, I had to meet him in the back of a brothel. Like, I literally went to a brothel all of once casually, celebrating a friends birthday, but every other time. Secret conversations. It was just such an immediate impulse for me. Drake looked at me like I was crazy.”

“You have a ton of masculine charm…but being cute doesn’t mean not being masculine. All your cute qualities are things I’d still call being manly~” And Kokichi was positive other people could see that too. He had faith Sakura wouldn’t absolutely shred his argument. 

Seeing the garden open up before them, Kokichi looked up at Kaito curiously before snorting. “Ah, really? I guess that makes sense--a room with relative security, private… But geez, yeah, I’ve never heard of that happening here,” Kokichi laughed. 

“Renting rooms at strip clubs is expensive,” Kokichi sighed, having looked into the Gentle Club a little more since their first visit…and having gotten some stories from Temp. “And I think some of the folks there would be kind of put out that you wouldn’t be paying for one of their time. Some more than others, depending on the place. I think most people assume that if you’re not just having intimate time at home, you’d rent a hotel room.”

Kaito looked startled. “A hotel room. Why didn’t I think of that… I guess I just never really needed to get hotel rooms growing up. I mean, when I traveled, sure, but just in the area? It never occurred to me.”

“What else happened that day… oh! He took me to a wine and cheese place. Like, it was a wine garden, it was really nice, I should take you there ‘Kichi. It was all soft and romantic… man, it really did feel like I was on a date. It was really just the fact that it was, ya know… Drake that kinda made it not feel all that romantic. That guy couldn’t be less into me.”

“...this is going to sound so narcissistic… and like maybe a little fake? But I’m not used to being around people who, like… aren’t a little into me. Maybe I’m just assuming people are more into me than they are, but I never don’t feel, like, sexy to other people. Like if I really wanted too, I could seduce anyone… but maybe that’s not true. Cause, like, Drake was one of the exceptions, ya know? And in truth there should be more exceptions than Drake… but I never really feel like that. I always feel attractive to people. It’s weird to be around someone who just… isn’t interested.” Kaito admitted, “...that’s weird. Saying that aloud I realize that’s weird. That’s probably a ‘me’ thing, and not actually an other people thing. Do you ever feel like that? Like… the default is people are attracted to you? Everyone?”

Kokichi nodded a bit. “It’s not the first thing that would come to mind, honestly…but growing up in a place that kinda acts like a hotel for people visiting town, or as an emergency one for townies? It does put the idea in my head. Helps that we stayed at one when we were fixing the vents, though that was super novel for me.”

The wine garden really did sound nice, and maybe it would be a good place for a future date between them (maybe with Shuuichi too, if they could entice him) but…

Kokichi gave Kaito a sheepish look before he shrugged a bit. “I mean…we’ve talked about my psychology around that before. Most the time, my brain defaults into believing that everyone around me doesn’t even know what sex is, let alone has any sort of attraction to me. That’s why it’s always so surprising to me when people flirt, or why it’s so delightful to see couples acting all couple-y.”

“Really…I know you do turn heads in the right crowds, hun,” Kokichi squeezed Kaito’s hand. “You are attractive. I just dunno if people are always thinking that way, though that could be my own skewed perspective.”

Kaito laughed, looking at Kokichi fondly, “You did say something about that. My ‘Kichi, living in a sexless world. It’s very sweet, and honestly, probably is no more unrealistic then the one I’m living in, which is, like, just…”

Kaito wasn’t worried worried about talking about this to Kokichi. It had come up naturally in his head and he knew by this point his husband wasn’t going to… hardcore judge him or anything. Disagree with him, sure, tell him how things actually were, undoubtedly, but… Kokichi very rarely ever went out of his way to actually shame Kaito. And Kaito really did trust his husband with almost anything. Massive secrets that somehow weren’t ‘Kaito’s business’? No. Not even a little bit. BUT! Everything else? Kaito knew he could trust Kokichi with literally anything else.

Honestly, by this point Kaito was mostly just a little embarrassed to keep talking about it, feeling silly and a little gross as he admitted, “everyone. Everyone wants to sleep with me. That’s just my… default assumption. Unless stated otherwise? And even then… it’s really rare I talk to anyone and I’m like ‘yeah, they wouldn’t want to’.”

“But that’s just not true. Like, objectively I know that’s not true. I just, like… every instinct in me screams the opposite. I look at people and try to guess what they’d want me to do. Like, just idly, not wanting anything from them or anything like that, just… that thought comes as naturally to me meeting a new person as wondering what their name is. It feels like a given that there’s an answer.” Kaito frowned…  before sighing, shrugging a little, “I should talk to Miss Crystal about it. There’s a lot of stuff we haven’t talked about yet. She doesn’t like to push me, she always backs off when I get nervous about stuff. It can be kind of nice, but, also sometimes it feels like discussing issues with her can take just a really long time. Dr. Mariah and Fake Ford feel like they just bully revelations out of me, in comparison, but… maybe I need that sometimes.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a curious look, but as Kaito was surmising himself, it really was just curiosity. Because…well, it was as they’d just said. The gut feeling way they each saw the world, when it came to attraction, were polar opposites. 

“Huh,” Kokichi said, just absorbing it for a second. “That…honestly seems like a really confidence-boosting way to live. I can see how you feel so good puttin’ on your Kai-chan charms, if it feels like a given everyone’s already into you. Most of the time, at least for, like, meeting strangers? It feels like they couldn’t care less about me. Like…I’m just five minutes of a nice conversation, or a funny story for later, and yanno, that might be a part of a nice day! But mostly inconsequential, and they’ll forget about me tomorrow.”

Which wasn’t quite right either, he knew, since a lot of people treated meeting the prince as An Event…but even then, it was more like cool trivia, than anything anyone would mull over for an extended amount of time. People had their own lives going on, and for the most part, Kokichi was just as much a background character in their lives as they were in his.

Giving his husband a soft look, Kokichi nudged his side before, opening the door to Sakura’s pub for him. “Maybe you should mention that to Miss Crystal too--that you need more than just an opening sometimes. Dr. Egami pulls the reins on me all the time, ‘cause I’ve talked about how I’m prone to long-winded rambling if no one stops me.”

“Really? But you’re at your best, five minutes into a monologue.” Kaito grinned, taking Kokichi’s invitation inside before, taking a deep breath… “MOTHER! We’ve come for a meal!”

Sakura looked up, startled, before giving Kaito a disapproving look. “... Kaito. Don’t shout in my pub. You’ll disturb the other patrons.”

“Sorry,” Kaito grinned, glancing around at the few other people in there, getting their own late breakfasts, Kaito looking around for a specific– “Look! Our tables open, ‘Kichi!”

“Maybe,” Kokichi giggled guiltily, “But it makes it hard to actually get through an issue in a session. And that’s if I’m actually on topic. Did you know Dr. Egami’s sister is a paranormal investigator? Super interesting stuff, we have absolutely wasted so much session time talking about it.”

Doing a better job at stifling his laughs at Kaito’s extra entrance, Kokichi shook his head and gave Sakura a wave. “Hey, Sakura-chan! Sorry, today’s the anniversary of Kai-chan an’ me meeting so we’re kinda in the zone of following our footsteps… Oh, but today’s also the anniversary of meeting you for the first time! Woo!”

Kokichi gave a little cheer before leaving the woman be, joining Kaito at the table they’d sat in by chance one year prior. His legs still dangled off the seat. 

Snorting a little, Kokichi gave Kaito an amused look. “I remember you slapped my shoulder so hard I almost fell off the seat. You really did remind me so much of my sister at times.”

“Yeah, well, I think you called me a bunch of names, so maybe you deserved a little shoulder slap.” Kaito pouted, opening up the menu and taking a quick look… before calling to Sakura, “Mother, can we grab two ales? Or, wait, ‘Kichi, do you want an ale?”

“I seem to remember it was, like, a comradely slap… Or maybe I’d just read it wrong,” Kokichi shrugged with a grin. “I did call you a lot of names. I think I still stand behind most of them.”

Smiling softly, Kokichi gave a nod. “For old times’ sake, yeah, though I doubt I’ll be able to finish it any more than I did before. Sakura-chan knows portion sizes to please.”

“Two ales! Thanks Sakura!” Kaito grinned, looking back to Kokichi and tapping at the menu as he said, “Considering you just had a bunch of fruit, you don’t have to eat here if you’re not hungry. But I stand by that I fed you the first time we got here. I was daydreaming about getting you some meat on your bones to help you grow, helping mentor you to be a knight or something… all sorts of outlandish stuff. And I liked you a lot, so I’m sure it was a friendly slap.”

“Kokichi Ouma, my little self-proclaimed liar.” Kaito mused, giving Sakura a bright smile as she brought over the two ales, “Thanks, Sakura. Can we also get some wings? Is it too early for that? And whatever Kokichi wants of course…”

As Sakura got their orders– she wasn’t busy with patrons that morning, but she always used the morning as a chance to catch up on food prepping for the lunch crowd– and then headed back, (after murmuring to herself “Has it been a year already? That was quick.”) Kaito looked back to Kokichi, smirking. “It was soooo important to you, that I knew you were a liar. You were so proud of it.”

“Some things definitely stayed the same,” Kokichi giggled. “I think Maki-chan would still hold me back in page school with my slow performance in knife throwing, though. I hit the target most of the time, and I can usually get a few to stick! But we haven’t even moved across the room yet for distance throwing.”

Kokichi was pretty sated with the fruit and bread they’d had, but he asked for a side of scrambled eggs when Sakura came by, rounding out his appetite and appeasing Kaito’s protein demands. He hadn’t had them that often, but Sakura made good eggs, just the right amount of bouncy and salty. 

And while Kaito was clearly teasing, Kokichi could only offer a slightly sad smile back. “It’s easier to not feel hurt when people don’t like you, if they never saw the real you. If you left thinking I was some annoying kid? Then…duh, that didn’t matter, you never really met me. It’s a pretty selfish self-defense tactic.”

“I don’t know about selfish. That feels like too harsh a word. I mean, I wasn’t anyone to you… I think back to all of that, and I think I was the bigger liar, of the two of us. Like, the whole time I was doing the whole ‘Caleb’ schtick? I knew I was about to be announced the prince-consort here. Which, I know now, doesn’t mean entirely the same thing as it would at home, but… if you really had just been some peasant kid? You’d have found out I was lying so soon. Which in my mind, kind of makes it worse. Like my lie wasn’t just selfish, but, like… kinda pointless. Literally just playing around with some local that I might not have even been, like, allowed to see again after that… it was pretty mean spirited of me.”

“But you?” Kaito shrugged, sipping at his ale, “I was a visitor, here and then gone in a few days. What was wrong with telling me a few little white lies, it wasn’t going to affect me in the long term. Maybe if you thought I was a local it’d have been kinda shitty, but I was Caleb… Mento? Mentor? Did I call myself mentor…? Memento! Caleb Memento, Legendary Stable Boy of the Stars!” Kaito remembered, lighting up as it came back to him, “Here to sell my legendary horses and then disappear into the night! Like… there was no harm in spinning stories around me, ya know? I was leaving soon anyway.”

“And your lies were entertaining.” Kaito recalled… “Or, maybe it was more that, like… the things you chose to lie about? The stories you chose to tell? It said a lot about you. I thought, anyway. It wasn’t lies meant to hurt me, or anyone, really. They were just little stories that you, like, always immediately copped to being just stories. It’s not like you ever let me believe a lie longer than the time it took to tell me it… except your name. But you thought you were protecting yourself, so that's more than understandable.”

Kokichi shrugged a little. “I mean it more, like…in general. It’s never giving anyone a fair chance, always holding people at arms’ distance. And…like, if someone does like me? And that protection wasn’t warranted? Then I’ve just lied to a friend. It’s just…a lose-lose, meeting people.”

But in their specific case…it was a little more complicated. 

“I dunno,” Kokichi sighed. “If I had just been someone living in the city? I probably would’ve thought it was weird you lied, but…I would’ve been excited! Hey, my new friend isn’t just gonna leave, he’s gonna live in the same city, in the place I probably go to hang out all the time. I know I had been so…tentatively hopeful, wanting to see if we could become penpals or something.”

“And on my end?” Kokichi shook his head a little. “More delusions. There was…literally no reason I couldn’t have just been myself while I was in town. Sure, my father might’ve gotten a little pissed I was free-wheeling in town while everyone was all stressed out preparing…but that’s not a reason to hide. And at the end of it, he probably would’ve understood why I wanted some time to just…hang out. Probably would’ve asked me to stop and help out, but…still.”

Kaito’s eyes narrowed as he muttered, “Well, if he wanted your help so bad, guy could have, like… paid attention to you for half a fucking second…”

… Kaito laughed at himself a little, shaking his head. “I know, I know, he did. I just… really hate that it all seems to come down to it all just being your fault. I hate that. I know it’s… kinda true, but fuck, I just…” Kaito looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, scratching his skin there as he collected his thoughts, “...I know it’s important, to acknowledge that you were having delusions. Really bad ones. I know me arguing it isn’t helpful, Miss Crystal and I have talked about that. I don’t want to hurt you like that, trying to argue you back into delusions… so I won’t. I won’t. It just makes me a little sad, sometimes, thinking about everything you went through. I just…”

Kaito gave Kokichi a soft look, shrugging again, “...I just love you. My heart breaks, thinking about the things you went through. Things I can’t change, or make better, they just… were. When I first met you? Not Koh, but you… you were so unhappy. You were so unhappy… I remember just being so astounded, how anyone could let you be so unhappy for so long. I wanted to give you everything…” Kaito blinked, realizing he was getting emotional, and he gave himself a moment to compose himself as he sipped more at his ale, letting that tension out of him as he drank, “...I was always so afraid of disappointing you. Just being one more awful thing that had happened to you. And I was… sometimes. I still think you deserved better. Definitely better than me, and better than just… all of us. You deserve everything.”

Kokichi snorted softly. “You know, right after I snuck back into my room that first day? My father immediately came to check on me--timing just worked out, I guess. He got real passive aggressive about how much time I was spending in my room, and how I never came down to dinner anymore… That’s shitty in its own right, but…I was being shitty too. He was always checking in on me, encouraging me to spend time with people and not just…work myself to death in my room.” A sad look came over Kokichi’s face. “And I hated him for it.”

He sighed. “...I did deserve better than what my life was like. How unhappy I was. I do deserve better than that.”

“...but I disagree that I deserve better than you, and the rest of our family,” Kokichi said softly, but with a core, unshakable strength. “We haven’t always been good to each other, but…dammit, Kai-chan, you make me happy. You make me so happy.”

“I have a lot of regrets, not least of all putting you in the position I did. Making it so you were scared of disappointing me, of being anything but the best person ever…that’s a horrific expectation to put on someone, let alone a new partner…or even a new friend. Especially with everything else going on, you should’ve felt comfortable just…being able to be a person, without that kind of expectation to live up to.”

“But you make me happy…and especially during those early days, when things were good? You made me happier than I’d been in a long time. But…maybe more importantly…when things were bad, you made me feel not alone. And that meant the world to me…even if I was never actually alone.”

Kokichi reached over the table, offering his hand with an adoring smile. His bright star right in front of him. “You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, and I only make that qualification because our daughter was born this year, and we got engaged. Even with the fights and horrible things we’ve done to each other…you’re still the best. Because the highs made me feel like everything is perfect…and in the lows I know where your heart is.”

Sakura came out with the wings and eggs, and while they hadn’t ordered any, she was maybe feeling a little sentimental too because she brought out some sweet-rolls on the house and…

She blinked down at Kaito, who was blubbering into his ale. “...something happen?”

Kaito glanced up at Sakura with shimmering eyes and nodded. “K-kokichi just broke u-up with me, c-can you believe it? O-on our anniversary too!”

Sakura blinked again… before turning her massive head to Kokichi. “What?”

Kokichi had been sipping at his ale with a world of love in his eyes, all directed at Kaito. And while he could be a little mean and play into the joke… Last year they had spent their time at Sakura’s pub telling lies. Kokichi wanted to be more truthful this year. 

Giving Sakura a peaceful smile, Kokichi nodded a little before returning his adoring gaze to Kaito. “I told him he was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. My Kai-chan is a little sensitive…it’s very sweet. Makes me happy knowing that he feels everything between us as strongly as I do.”

“Thank you for the sweet rolls, Sakura-chan, that’s real kind of you,” Kokichi smiled back at the buff woman.

Sakura slowly nodded, before looking to Kaito, who was now laughing into his cup, clearly trying to hide his face behind it… before she shook her head. “Cute. Let me know what else you need.”

“Not cute! Ruggedly handsome!” Kaito garbled behind the cup, before peeking over it when he saw she had left, immediately reaching for a sweet roll, “And ha~ she definitely believed me there for a second, I’m pretty sure! See, I can tell lies too, ‘Kichi, you don’t get to be the cool lying guy this time.”

Kaito chuckled at himself, clearly entirely amused by his own joke, before shrugging a little sheepishly, “Sorry, that was too sweet. I wasn’t sure what to say… it’s tough, being on the other end of a speech like that! What are you supposed to say?? Thanks?? Feels woefully inadequate, I gotta come up with a speech too. Putting me on the spot here…”

Kokichi giggled softly, taking a sweet roll for himself as well. Point for cute without them even having to ask in a poll. Just completely organic! Because Kaito was very cute, and people could recognize that!

“You don’t have to say anything, really,” Kokichi shrugged a little. “I mean…I’m not expecting anything, that is. I just…feel things, and I want to express them. I want to make sure you know, ‘cause…life’s too short to not know for sure, you know? I’ve already wasted a bunch of time with guessing games--I wanna make sure my loved ones know how I feel about them. It’s important to me.”

Swallowing a bite of his roll, Kokichi smirked a little at Kaito. “I mean, I’m always happy to hear an ‘I love you too’. Never gonna be sad about that.”

Kaito rolled his eyes, “Okay, fiiiiine, I love you too. But, like, still not enough! Hmmmm…”

Kaito tore the bread roll up into little bits, not because he preferred to eat that way but mostly because he wanted something to do with his hands, occasionally popping a piece into his mouth as he considered things, “...I think there’s a part of me that wants to say you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. But I feel guilty to say it, cause, like… it feels true. And maybe it shouldn’t.”

Kaito shrugged, giving Kokichi a sheepish look, “I guess it’s something I wouldn’t want the others to hear me say. It sorta… shouldn’t be true. But it is. I just… love you. And it feels easy to love you. Not easy in that we don’t drive each other crazy, sometimes, cause I’m pretty sure I drive you nuts and, if it wasn’t obvious, you definitely drive me up the walls sometimes… but that’s why it feels easy? Because I do still love you. Every time. It’s never, like a… ‘maybe’ thing. I mean… staying? That was a maybe thing, sometimes. But it was never because I stopped loving you. If anything, it was always, just, like…”

Kaito stared at his shredded bread, “Would love be enough? Was it enough to just love you and feel loved in return? And… the answer I kept coming too. Keep coming too. Is yes. God, things were hard for us, sometimes, but…”

Kaito smiled slightly, looking up at Kokichi, “...god I loved you so much. And love you so much. It just… never slowed down, once it started. And it started so fast… you just make me feel loved. And I’m consumed by the love I feel for you. It feels inadequate, to call it that. And it feels cruel to Shuichi and Maki and my kids, to call it the best thing that’s ever happened to me… but it kinda is. It just…” Kaito shrugged again, looking tired and sheepish and a little ashamed, but utterly sincere in every word, “is. I love you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And you don’t have to feel the same way. It’s just how it is for me, Kokichi.”

Kokichi wasn’t all out bawling into his ale, but his eyes did glimmer with tears as, somehow, he seemed to smile with even more love directed at Kaito. “Really gotta one-up me, huh? …I love you too.”

Shaking his head with a small, delighted laugh, Kokichi reached across the table again. “For real, though…I think I get it. Things were hard…impossible seeming, sometimes…but not for lack of love. I remember being so hesitant at first, not knowing if what I was feeling was right, or if it was too fast but…I love you so much. And that’s never been a question since it started for even a second.”

Just a little, Kokichi raised his mug of ale to Kaito. “To being utterly consumed with each other, but, like, in a good way?”

Kaito smiled, raising his mug as he nodded. “To love being enough. In the best way.”

Kaito gently clinked Kokichi’s mug, before gently thumping it onto the table, taking a long sip from it after. Kaito sighed as he finished it, wiping his mouth before grabbing a wing. “Yeah, uh… I don’t know. It’s all pretty weird, isn’t it? I know we talk about the last year a lot. It’s basically the point of our therapy sessions, right? But I just mean, like… specifically me and you. The stuff we went through together, the things we’ve done to each other, what it all equalled out too… it’s a lot. Like, right from the word go.”

Kaito looked curiously at Kokichi, “Hey, can we… tell a lie? Like… what it all would have looked like if everything was normal? Like, if we were normal? Or, I guess our version of normal…” Kaito tried to think of an example, before saying, “Like… actually, nevermind. I don’t know. I’m trying to imagine versions of us where we were both healthy when we met and maybe there was no Tengan and maybe the worst part of this was us just trying to get to know a stranger, but… that feels like it’d probably be a long story.” Kaito laughed, shaking his head, “Too long for a plate of wings and some eggs.”

Kokichi took a sip from his mug as Kaito did to finish the toast. And…yeah. Even months ago they had just started classifying everything that had happened into ‘this past year’ because…it was too much. There was way too much to even begin to describe in any meaningful way that wasn’t listing out everything one after another, and even that would take a good few minutes, so they just said ‘last year’. 

And last year had been more than the majority of people should ever have to go through in a lifetime. 

Starting on his eggs, Kokichi let out a little huff of a laugh. “Yeah… It feels like the sort of story that would take a few hours even if we were just playing out highlights, and taking it super seriously? Chronicling a year, even a boring, normal one is something novelists could spend literal years on.”

“...but it is fun to think about, now and again,” he shrugged. “We just had days…going on dates, and learning about each other, and falling in love slower… We could giggle to each other about the first time we said ‘I love you’ and it would’ve been months down the line, rather than days or weeks…”

“...but I dunno. I like having been in love with you longer.”

Kaito lit up, glad Kokichi had understood what he had meant. He just… sometimes, just to himself, liked to imagine what a nicer version of this year would have been like. With more normal problems, like…

“I like to think that we’d have tried to sleep in the same bed the first night, and then we’d have both, just, individually asked Aiichi to, please, for the love of Atua, get me my own room.” Kaito laughed, eyes glancing over to the bar. He had briefly heard a familiar sound. Huh. Before refocusing on Kokichi, “Like, cause we would have still struggled to get along, I think. Like, even if I hadn’t been, uh, arguing with Tengan and you hadn’t been pissed at your family. Like, I would have probably still driven you nuts and we’d have still had culture shocks and stuff. I bet we would have fought over a ton of little stuff, for a while.”

“We definitely wouldn’t have had sex that first night. Not a chance.” Kaito mused,eyes widening as Sakura brought something over, “I wonder what we would have ended up bonding over first… holy shit, is that what I think it is?”

“Don’t get too excited.” Sakura said, her tone and voice low and slow, as she put down a short mug, just, overflowing in foam. “The taste isn’t quite right still, and I can’t experiment with it much because, well… honestly it’ll just never sell well here so I can’t afford to put too many resources into it. But, here. Latest attempt at a porter.”

“Oh my god.” Kaito whispered, taking it, “That’s amazing… thank you, Sakura.”

“Don’t thank me till you taste it. Like I said, it’s not close yet. Luminary has different ingredients and brewery’s than we have here. This is just my latest attempt to mimic it.” Sakura glanced at Kokichi, “You. Don’t drink too much of it. Maybe a taste. That’s it.”

Kokichi snorted, putting a hand over his mouth as he swallowed his eggs. “Yeah, I can see that. Like, I was pretty stoked about how much of an amazing cuddler you are, but without bonding over trauma? I dunno. Probably would’ve gotten you a room of your own sooner, yeah. Though I probably still would’ve put things in your luggage to surprise you later,” he laughed.

Honestly Kokichi still thought they would’ve ended up bonding over horrible romance novels. Even in a less eventful life, he could still see the both of them sneaking out to see the city. Or even not, the subject had come up so naturally and they were both--or had been--such avid readers that it would’ve come up sooner or later. 

However, Kokichi kept that idea to himself as Sakura came over with a thick mug of…something. His eyebrows raised in astonishment and confusion, though as Sakura explained… “Wow… That’s… Still, Sakura-chan, this is really amazing. Thank you for sharing it with us…”

Still looking over the drink curiously, Kokichi gave Kaito a little nod, wanting to hear his verdict.

“Pfff, right, the spider… you were such a brat. In, like, the cutest way, but damn…” Kaito was still looking over the foam of the mug, before taking a small sip, the foam sticking to his nose a little as Kaito sipped at it… and after a moment his nose wrinkled. A mildly distressed look on his face. “...sorry, Sakura.”

Sakura nodded, unsurprised, “It’s fine. It’s still too thin, and it's both somehow too sweet and too bitter. The one I tried in Luminary had this delightfully mild, full taste too it. Hard to pin down.”

“I can taste the Luminary influence though! It’s closer than any of the Dicean ales! But yeah, not exactly there. Kokichi, want a sip? Gotta warn you, way more bitter than any alcohol you’ve ever tried, I can guarantee it.” Kaito offered, passing Kokichi the mug.

Kokichi raised a curious eyebrow before he nodded, taking the mug. “I’ll give it a try. I’ll be honest, none of the times any of you have described ale and mead from Luminary has made it sound appetizing, but…yanno. I’ll still try it.”

So, he took a sip and…even if he had been trying to be polite, Kokichi couldn’t stop the way his face immediately scrunched up, the corners of his mouth tightening as he forced himself to thickly swallow. In some ways, his body didn’t even know what to do with it, but in others…

“...man. Like…I genuinely like some bitter stuff? But it’s not even like too steeped black coffee… It’s just…” Kokichi shook his head a little, passing the mug back to Kaito. “And that’s too thin?”

“Well, ya know, a good mead– or, a good Luminary mead,” Kaito corrected himself, nodding to Sakura, who nodded back before heading back to the bar, “Should feel a little bit like you could chew it. Like, not really, but that’s the saying, ya know? A drink thick enough to chew.”

Kaito sipped at the mug some more, and said, “Though, not expecting it to taste like the brews at home? It’s not bad. It’s just not it’s supposed to be. Not bad though…” Kaito put it down, giving Kokichi a bright look, “I bet you would have gotten me with a lot more pranks. Like, just in general. Getting close to your fast means I missed out on the cute, brat, prank phase that everyone else tells me so much about.”

“I think I might just rather have a milkshake at that point,” Kokichi grumbled, shaking his head a little and sipping from the waters Sakura had initially brought by with their ales. If he was going to drink something that thick? May as well be something more like what he’s expecting from a drink. And having something yummy too. 

Continuing on with his eggs, Kokichi looked up and smiled impishly, giving a shrug. “Probably. I mostly did that sort of stuff when I was bored, so if we had a more boring year? Then yeah, I would’ve been thinking all the time of stuff to get you with. A lot of messing with your hair products, I bet. Or hiding one of the, like, four nearly identical belts in slightly different hues you have, and watch you freak when you can’t find the exact color you’re looking for.”

“What? Nooooo.” Kaito whined, reaching up to cover his hair protectively, “And ‘Kichi, I don’t have any identical belts. I have four brownish looking belts that, if you’d pay attention, are all distinctly different shades of brown, wood, hickory, brunette and carob, which all compliment different outfits in a way that would look absolutely ridiculous with the different shades. Same with my black belts!” 

“…Okay, admittedly, the white belts are all the same color, but the fasteners are different cuts, and trust me, once you train your eyes to see it?” Kaiot whistled, shaking his head a bit as he sipped at some of the water, “There’s no unseeing it.”

Kokichi propped up his chin and looked at his fashion-focused husband fondly, if with a slight bit of exasperation. “Hickory is a type of wood, though… And I guess I’ll just stay happy with my untrained eyes. Much less fuss, and it means I can be happy with the, like, four belts I own. And that I barely wear anyway, ‘cause I like pants with soft waistbands. Though I guess you could argue some of ‘em just have built-in belts, but I’d just call ‘em flair.”

“Sometimes I’m really surprised you haven’t commissioned any clothes from Denji-chan yet. You two could argue over tiny details for weeks.”

“I’m mostly just worried about overstepping with people here.” Kaito admitted plainly, shrugging a little. “It’s way easier when I’m asking for stuff for you. It’s weird, cause, like, I’m not used to… like, we don’t have a staff. Not really, the castle has a staff, but not us. No one works for us, and more than that, we can’t afford anyone either. Kokichi, man, for me? That is weird.”

“And hierarchy doesn’t… really exist here? That’s really weird too. Like, I’m getting used to it! This isn’t Kaito being all like ‘oh noooo, what is hierarchy here’, no, no. I just mean… I’m still learning how to ‘person’ with the new rules. And I know, I know, it’d just be a matter of talking to people but, like…” Kaito grinned a little sheepishly, “Like… it could be fine! Or it could go horribly wrong and not only am I making things actively worse for myself, but I embarrass you, and Shuichi and Maki and Tim, and make Luminary itself look worse to everyone in general… it’s nerve wracking. And, like, really typical for me and just every interaction I’ve had here. I just… hate getting it wrong.”

Well, Nazumi did work for Kokichi, but…he knew what Kaito meant. It was something that Kokichi had been slowly learning for…well, not since Kaito and the others had gotten to Dicea, because Kokichi hadn’t really been learning those early days, but…sometime from then. 

But still, listening to Kaito say it so plainly…Kokichi was proud. Even if Kaito got it wrong sometimes, Kokichi was proud. 

Kokichi nodded softly. “I can’t say I totally get it…because I don’t. I’m still living in a country I understand the customs of, and even having moments of culture shock between us isn’t the same as experiencing culture shock against a whole country.”

“But I can understand that it’s scary, and stressful,” Kokichi said gently, giving Kaito a small smile. “And I can imagine how much I’d be struggling in Luminary. But…that’s why taking smaller steps is important, right? Not just…plunging right into things that feel wrong, or scary.”

Taking a sip of ale, Kokichi gave his husband another soft look. “Out of…yanno, people at large? My siblings are a good mid-step, I think. They’re still learning too, and it might not feel any better to ‘get things wrong’ but…they’ll be more willing to hear you out, I believe. And…this is more of a plunge right in thing, but…like if you ask nicely? The worst someone can say is no.”

Kaito nodded… before smirking a little, “Babe, I am, or, was, the second son of Luminary. Someone telling me ‘no’ is kiiiiind of a big deal. Didn’t anyone tell ya I’m a big deal?” Kaito chuckled, rolling his eyes at himself a little, “I think I have a harder time hearing ‘no’ and it not being some ‘big issue’ then the average person. Which is entirely a me thing, not an anyone else thing. It’s just something about myself I’m really starting to understand and come to grips with. I never felt spoiled until I came to Dicea. But I am spoiled.”

Kaito’s gaze softened as he said, “Sometimes I like to imagine you in Luminary. God, we would have spoiled you… you’d have been such a precious gem there. We would have handed you the world there. Any random thing your heart desired would have been yours. People would have treated you with more than respect… they’d have revered you. And feared you. You would have come to Luminary, and been more powerful than you could have ever fathomed, and it would have felt effortless.”

“...and you’d have hated every second of it.” Kaito mused, sipping at the ale again. “Like, allll of it. And I would have had no idea why. It would have taken me such a long time to understand.”

He and Shuuichi had talked about that a little…right around when he and Kaito had taken that disastrous trip out to watch the debates. Kaito was spoiled. Spoiled in a way Kokichi didn’t think he’d ever truly understand, even if seeing the disconnect made him confused with every instance. Sure, ‘no’s could be disappointing, and even heart-wrenching in certain contexts…but asking for favors? If someone said no then just…find a different way to do it, either asking someone else or doing it yourself. Or just don’t do it. In day to day contexts there really wasn’t any more to it than that. 

And…Kokichi was used to that. Everyone else had their own lives going on, had limits that they didn’t even have to be pushed to to refuse something. If it didn’t endanger your life and livelihood? No one was ever obligated to give you a yes. 

Kokichi wasn’t sure if he would’ve noticed most of the ‘yes’s in Luminary being obligation, but…how people treated him otherwise? The reverence and fear…

Kokichi huffed a small laugh, giving Kaito a sad smile. “It would’ve driven me crazy… And I would’ve felt crazy, seeing everyone else treat it as normal. So…I can understand that.”

Kaito laughed, one of those full belly laughs– his cheeks a little red from the ale– as he said, “Oh my god, yes. Babe, it’s insane, you feel, like, actually crazy for a while. Cause no one actually tells you what you're doing wrong for a while! Like, you just do all the things you always did, and you only realize anything’s happened when you see their expression go weird… it’s bizarre. But, I mean, you know it a little, you saw that happen with our reactions to things you did all the time early on there.”

Giving Kokichi an amused, fond look, he admitted, “It would have been fun watching you talk to elites though. I’ve said it before, and I still mean it now, I think you’d have done some impressive shit in Luminary. I know you would have hated it, but if you had survived the first month? Man, you would have thrived. Intelligent, well spoken, an excellent mask, beautiful… you would have had everyone’s heads spinning, and half of the court would have been begging for a chance to eat out of your tiny, cold hands.”

“I really think I would’ve pissed literally everyone else with any sort of hand in administration right off,” Kokichi shook his head, though there was an easy smile on his face. The possible consequences that might’ve happened if he had been sent to Luminary were pretty bleak and dire, but…well, that wasn’t the reality they were living in. So it was easier to talk about casually. 

“I would’ve been baffled with how opposing all the different views were, and tried all the time to propose policies that everyone would’ve hated. Regardless of how passive aggressive I got, I think people would be rejoicing when someone in your family finally took me off projects. And still I’d stick my nose everywhere it doesn’t belong. Depending on if they liked my ideas, people would’ve gotten a laugh out of my gumption, or thought I was the worst person on the planet.”

“Protecting you would have been such a pain in the butt.” Kaito grinned, reaching across the table and taking Kokichi’s hands in his, bringing his knuckles to him and giving each little knuckle a small kiss. “Like, seriously. I feel like you’d have made new enemies and allies constantly, and wouldn’t be keeping track, and you would have had me and Shuichi and Maki just running around like headless chickens just trying to do damage control. But I bet you would have accomplished so much that people would have only dreamed of… and in this daydream? Can we just say you would have married me? I know it would have been Byakuya, but… I hate that idea. He wouldn’t have appreciated what he had in you.”

Kaito lingered one of the kisses against the back of Kokichi’s pinky, smirking up at him against the kiss, “Having my ‘Kichi with all the resources I had in Luminary. I’d have bent over backwards, trying to please you. Sorry, when I said earlier I like to imagine you in Luminary, that’s… the big thing I like to think about. Just the challenge and joy I would have had taking care of you. I’d have loved it so much.”

“100% true,” Kokichi snorted, smiling as Kaito took his hands. He wouldn’t have understood the maintained cooperation systems in Luminary at all… He would’ve constantly been pissing off people he’d incidentally made allies with, and would’ve confused enemies all the time by siding with them. Kokichi would’ve been the most frustrating wild card in all of Luminous politics. 

Though… 

“Eeugh,” Kokichi rolled his eyes with an exaggerated grimace. “Yeah, even in a thought experiment I wanna keep ya. We have our own miscommunication problems, but Byakuya and I would’ve been fighting constantly, if he didn’t just learn to avoid me. I want the better brother, please.”

And…Kokichi knew that was a risk to say, some days, but…he felt bold. 

Shaking his head a little, squeezing Kaito’s hands, Kokichi smiled. “You take care of me here, and…honestly I think I prefer what you provide here more than what you could’ve given me in Luminary. There, you would’ve made a situation I hated better. Here…you make me better. And I like that a lot more.”

Kaito flushed a little, even if a flash of discomfort ran through him at that. Yeah… the better… the better…

“...yeah, I mean, yea. Yeah. I mean…” Kaito looked around uncomfortably, like he was looking for eyes on him, “... in, like, a lot of ways… especially Kokichi centric ways! Like, if we’re looking at it from your perspective. I am…” Kaito glanced around again, before saying quieter, “the better brother. Then Byakuya. In some ways… but they’re ways that matter. I didn’t lose the whole damn kingdom to our cousin… didn’t kill any family members either… dumb…”

“...I don’t kill people.” Kaito suddenly said, looking a little sheepish. Genuinely embarrassed at the statement as he took his hands back, grabbing the ale and sipping it nervously, “I have killed. Because I had too. Like, kinda literally… but I don’t kill people. People don’t… I don’t kill people when we get into fights, back home. Like, as a rule, I don’t like it. And I just… I never told you that because I was feeling so defensive. About the fights, and that sometimes people need to die, and all of that. We had so many arguments about it that I felt… like a hypocrite. To ever bring it up. It used to get me into trouble all the time, Maki and I would have these arguments about it, and I just… I was so defensive.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a genuinely apologetic look as he said softly, “Sorry. I feel like an asshole. You’ve never asked me if I had, and I’ve always worried you might think I’m more viscous than I actually am cause of my beliefs. And I didn’t want to clear up any fears you might have cause I feel… really stupid admitting it. I don’t kill people.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a soft look, his boldness not paying out…but maybe still okay. Just because something was difficult didn’t mean that you had to back off. You just…needed to be willing to listen, and consider things with more care than a rapid back and forth. 

And as Kaito explained a stance that…yeah, they had had so many arguments about… Kokichi sighed softly. Not thrilled that people did have to die sometimes…but understanding more. 

“It does make me feel better to hear that, whenever you could, you avoided killing people,” Kokichi smiled softly. “And…yeah. A lot of our arguments would’ve made that…hard to admit.”

“...killing someone isn’t an unforgivable act,” Because there were too many cases to really say that as a catch-all, “But…it’s an extremely difficult one to climb back from, in my eyes. But…I have a certain privilege in being able to believe that. And as much as I want other places to have that privilege too…I have to recognize that it’s not like that already. And passing moral judgment is just…foolish, and talking more to my own ignorance than anything.”

Kokichi sighed a bit, biting into another roll. “One day I really hope we’ll all get there.”

“...” Kaito glanced nervously around, before whispering to Kokichi, “Honestly? I have a hard time letting that stuff go too. Watching Maki be an assassin? It was… really hard. Maki wouldn’t tell me stuff because after a while we both realized it was just… I didn’t want to look at her differently. It wasn’t her fault. In a lot of ways I didn’t look at her differently. But it made it so much harder for me to talk to the people who would give her the orders. And Maki…”

Kaito smiled warmly, “She’s kind. Merciful. She saw how much harder it made it for me to talk to people, so she stopped telling me about things. Even when I asked. Cause I didn’t want to be the kind of person she couldn’t talk to about that stuff, but she knew what hearing about it all did to me. She never even threw it in my face. She just stopped and that was that.”

“But there were so many others… it was so hard to be around them. To know what they did. I just tried not to know, really. I knew vaguely that things were happening, but so long as I didn’t know the details? I could tell myself all sorts of things. That it was necessary, that they had no choice, or that they were sorry. That they had paid for it in some way and it was over.” Kaito dug into a few more of his wings, again mostly just keeping his hands busy as he mused, “I’m actually kind of a judgy asshole, really. Like, I’m kind of insufferable… I just happened to marry a slightly more judgy guy then myself.” Kaito grinned, winking at Kokichi, “Not an asshole! But a little judgy… and honestly not even that judgy, you know a lot of violent people too. You’ve just moved on from all the stuff they did. Which is healthy! I think. The moving on, right?”

It was the same thing Kokichi had to tell himself when he learned about Maki. Though, in fairness, learning about conditioning had made all that a lot easier. It was literally never about Maki having a choice, despite her inclinations for problem solving. Nothing she did under orders was her fault. 

And even knowing that, Maki still had the kindness to take the burden of knowledge and, at the very least, not let Kaito help carry it. Because while burdens were easier carried with others…certain issues would weigh more heavily upon certain people, no matter the others carrying it. 

It was why Shuuichi never talked about Luminary to Kokichi like he had on spores ever again. Kokichi could better take facts about life in Luminary these days, but certain examples and turns of phrase would make it harder. 

Smiling softly, Kokichi gave Kaito a small shrug. “I’d like to think so. It makes life a lot easier so…I’m inclined to say so too. It’s just…kind of the opposite of your solution. I don’t want to know the physical details, but…I asked for the emotional ones. And I watched for years as we all grew and changed and…it turns out that people who did things that frightened and appalled me? Grew into really lovely people that I can trust. And while the things they did are…still bad? It’s in the past, and there’s more context to it. So…it’s easier to move forward into the future.”

“Everything is case by case,” Kokichi sighed lightly. “And…every person just needs to look at the present and decide if the good outweighs the bad. And every answer for every person, at every moment of reflection is different. And when you can get everyone to respect that…then you can coexist.”

“Yeah… it’s still scary as fuck though.” Kaito grinned weakly, going to sip his ale… before blinking, “Oh, I got through that fast. How long have we been talking in here? I feel like we literally just sat down, but I’ve gone through an ale and a half. And all our sweet rolls are gone.”

“Yeah. It is,” Kokichi matched the weak smile. “That’s why it’s a privilege to have that scariness mean that you’re not gonna die. But…even then it’s not a foregone conclusion. Nothing really ever is. Even a 0.000001% chance of something happening means there’s still a chance. It’s just…unluckiness in the numbers game.”

Stretching out his back a little as he sat up, Kokichi hummed softly. “I think we’ve been here…almost an hour? We are very good at talking forever and thinking it takes a second. Our special ability.”

“Hmm~” Kaito agreed, working on the last of his wings, taking the little bones apart to get to the meat… “Tengan is… gone, right? Gone, gone?”

Kokichi lowered his voice a bit. “Gone-gone.”

He looked around the bar idly, swinging one of his legs from his seat before sighing, looking back at Kaito. “Like…completely. The person that’s there now…doesn’t even have a lot of the memories Tengan had.”

Kokichi looked at the table, frowning softly. “...they told me, the one time we met… Well. They offered to…take your memories of what happened. Make you forget something they didn’t even know, but…knew enough to know it was bad.”

“...I said no.”

Kaito tensed at that. Eyes widening…

“Did they tell you what they meant specifically?” Kaito asked quietly, staring at his wings, “Like, what happened?”

“No,” Kokichi said just as softly, shaking his head. Though, his eyes rose to look at Kaito again, his expression softening. “Whenever something’s happened…where I would’ve had the chance to…read your book? Or your brother’s? Or having Tengan or this new person read to me? I’ve always refused.”

“...there are things in your life that are just for you, Kai-chan. And unless you want to share them with me? I won’t find out. That’s…it’s such a violation of trust,” Kokichi frowned, his brows knitting. “And I refuse to take it.”

Kaito relaxed, nodding. Giving his husband a grateful, if a little tired, grin, “Thank you, Kokichi. It’s not that I don’t trust you with things. It’s not a secret. I just… it makes me unhappy to think about that stuff. And nothing can change it, and I really am fine, in a lot of ways that I think counts. Maybe I’ll want to talk about it. Even then, I might just tell Miss Crystal or something, just… it’s… it just doesn’t matter. It just makes me unhappy, that’s all. So, thank you.”

“And, thanks for not erasing my… pages? Cause that? That’s a terrifying thought.” Kaito chuckled, giving Kokichi a sheepish grin, “Like, even if its for my benefit, I’d really appreciate you talking to me about it before doing any big Kaito book changes. I’d want the… footnote writing of agreeing to it, or I think I’d freak out a little. That’s a lot of power to have over a person, ya know? I trust you, you wouldn’t abuse me with it. But as terrifying as it is to know someone even suggested it? I appreciate you refusing them.”

“Anyway, the only reason I asked was because, well… except Byakuya and Kaede? And even them, in a real way. Everyone in my life that I could have ‘forgiven’? Are all gone. And I don’t really know how I feel about that… I was really hurt Tengan left without saying goodbye to me. Or even just taking one final jab at me. I guess now I know that for him, he didn’t have to say goodbye to me, cause I wasn’t going… anywhere.” Kaito sighed, rolling his eyes, “From his perspective. And I just… I don’t know how I feel about never getting to tell all of them what they did to me, or how I felt…”

Kaito sighed, frustrated with himself, “Look, what I’m actually saying is I’m trying to decide if I should make up with Byakuya and Kaede. Is that crazy? Am I crazy to even kind of want that? I feel crazy.”

Kokichi nodded slightly. “It can even be a thing that matters… To an extent, there are parts of you I’m going to know, that you haven’t shared…and we’ve seen the fallout of some of those already. But for as much as I can? Which is anything that’s not just…having big letters right in front of my face, that I can’t avoid automatically reading? Which is more than you’d assume… All that I only want to know if you’ll share it with me. I don’t want to take anything more.”

“And, yeah,” he grimaced. “I find the act of…editing really horrible. I understand why people would but…it’s not something I want to do, and it’s not something I’m going to let people do without you guys’ consent. If anything, you guys can trust I’m staying on top of that.”

It was the reason Saint Madison had a tether to him, and while Maki and Shuuichi didn’t have such direct lines…Kokichi was staying aware. 

For a moment, seeing Kaito’s frustration, Kokichi just looked at his husband before smiling grimly. “I want to reach out to Nao, so…maybe we’re just crazy. I don’t like your brother and your cousin…but they are your family, and people you’ve loved. As much as it might make some things easier…those ties don’t just go away, even with terrible stress put upon them. If you want to reach out and try to make up with them…I’ll support you in doing that. Just be prepared for me to not want to have personal chats with ‘em when you’re not there too.”

Kaito groaned at that, taking a sip of his water as he gave Kokichi a tired look… before chuckling, “Well, if you do talk to Nao, and all my worst fears of her coming back to work at the castle come true, like… at least I’d be able to take all the potshots at her I’d want in a lifetime. I’ll be like, uh… Ryouhei? It was Ryouhei, right? Who got to be the one who’d remember all the shit she pulled as a teenager? Well, Kaito Momota is Ryouhei second addition. Fucking remember all that shit you did in your thirties, Nao? Cause I do.”

“... sorry, that was mean. We actually had a pretty decent conversation, if I’m honest. I still want to punch her in her fucking face, but that’s because what she did still makes me angry, and I want to punch lots of things when I’m angry. And I get sad, thinking about what happened… it shouldn’t have happened at all, I shouldn’t have let it…”

“And honestly? I think only knowing that there’s no real part of me capable of reaching out to my brother and my cousin right now is the only thing keeping me from wanting to scream at them and punch them in the face and just be… so fucking sad when I think about it all.” Kaito admitted, gritting his teeth, “I want to reach out, but I can’t. I know I can’t. It’ll just make all the shitty feelings come back up again, and I just… Kaede’s already kinda reached out to me, and I had to accept it, and nothing feels better there. Byakuya just… isn’t going to. He’s angry at me, that’s not going away any time soon. If I want to fix these relationships, it has to be me going to them, and… I just don’t think I actually could. Because I’m so angry at them. And I just… miss them both so much. And I’m worried about them. And I want to check on them. And I hate them. God I hate them.”

“...I’m sorry, this got really serious. Sorry, babe.” Kaito said sheepishly, “We got to talking about really serious things on our date. I’m sorry.”

Kokichi just shrugged a little, a muted sadness in his eyes. “I think I’d petition until I lost my voice to make sure she never got a job at the castle again. Then I’d drink honey tea and start up all over again. I just…” He sighed, giving Kaito a small smile. “I’m angry and sad at what she did.”

And for Kaito’s relationships with Kaede and Byakuya…

Kokichi sighed softly. “...they’re both pretty shit at people. Byakuya’s not willing to engage with many people as an equal, and event then he’s not willing to emotionally compromise, and Kaede’s too goal-focused. No conversation can ever just be a conversation with her…and she’s just resigned herself to that, not having the motivation to change. They’re both stubborn in ways that makes wanting to have a personal relationship maddening.”

“...all the emotional labor would be up to you. As usual,” Kokichi gave his husband a tired, sympathetic look. “And even then…it’s hard to say if they would even want the same things out of a relationship with you. And if they don’t…it’s just strain on your end. But…you never know unless you try. Unless you tell them what you want from them, and they’re willing to engage with you.”

Giving Kaito a small smile, Kokichi laughed softly. “We do tend to do that. Our second special ability.”

“Yeah… yeah.” Kaito laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, before stretching his arms over his head, “Well, I don’t want to spend too much of our date talking about shitty people being shitty. I’d rather talk about how attractive you are for the next few hours, so…”

Kaito lit up, leaning in as he whispered, “Wanna dash and dine? Or, uh, dine and dash? Think Sakura could catch us? Whoever Sakura catches has to pay!”

Kokichi snorted, giving Kaito an amused look. “She didn’t make us pay up front this time, and she gave us rolls and her latest attempt at an ale you’ll call an ale. And she’s my sister’s sister’s fiance. That’s a lot of trust, and, my, Kai-chan, I am not going to spurn that kind of trust.”

Shaking his head, Kokichi pulled out his purse. “I’ll pay, I like treatin’ ya. And you did pay last year.”

Kaito chuckled, “Spoilsport. But, I can never turn down my beautiful husband spending coin on me~ Makes me feel special.”

“MOTHER!” Kaito called to the bar, grinning wide, “CHECK PLEASE!” 

-

The aqueduct might have been semi-famous for it’s alright to the right dick-shaped curvature– which Kokichi would quietly confess to Kaito that Miu had tilted in such a way because those were apparently the ‘best’ dicks, in her oh so humble opinion– but in the end it was also a very large, impressive structure that bridged over a serene, flowing body of water. And when Kaito saw that water after going to check out the aqueduct again, he had tugged at Kokichi’s sleeve, pointed at the bottom and said, “Can we go there?”

Turns out, they could. 

Now Kaito was looking pretty pleased with himself, taking off his shoes and cape to place them carefully on a nearby rock before rolling up his pants, going to put his feet in the water as he shivered, “Babe! It’s cold! Come try it!”

It was in no way anything Kokichi would describe as a beach, but the banks surrounding the water the aqueduct towered over--relatively speaking--were littered with rocks, from great slabs perfect for perching on, to tiny pebbles as big as Kokichi’s thumbnail. Not the easiest terrain to walk over, but not exactly a hassle, and Kokichi had been walking over the mounds, looking for neat rocks when Kaito called out. 

Shaking his head a little, Kokichi snorted before wrinkling his nose. “We didn’t bring any towels. Wet socks are the woooooorst. Unless you’re okay with hanging out down here until the sun can dry us?”

Kaito huffed, shaking his head at his husband, “‘Kichi, I’m literally just putting my feet in, how long do you think it’s gonna take to dry? Unless you think I’m about to ruin a perfectly good, tailored outfit jumping into this water? Do I seem crazy to you? Actually, maybe I should have taken off the blazer too. Kinda forgot I was wearing it.” Kaito said sheepishly, shrugging the blazer off before heading back to his shoes and cape. 

He folded it up nicely and set it down, his button up hugging his chest and back as he stretched his arms over his head, free from the confines of the jacket. Rolling up his sleeves too, Kaito gave himself a lookover and decided, yeah. Now was the time to go play with the water a little! 

“Man, I really don’t know how Shuichi wears stuff like that all the time. I’m a fan of layers, but, like, jackets like those just feel smothering.” Kaito huffed, dipping his feet back into the water before squatting down, running his hands over the flowing liquid, enjoying the little ripples his intrusion made. “You’re missing out, ‘Kichi, the water feels good~”

It was always longer than you expected…but Kaito did have a point. It wasn’t like he was going to drench his clothes so…if Kaito was already going to wait to dry out, then Kokichi could too. 

And it was pretty hot out. 

Heading to Kaito’s clothes pile, Kokichi toed off his shoes and socks before carefully joining Kaito in the shallows, sighing softly as the cold water combatted the warm day. “I think part of it is just that he’s used to it, and another is that he likes the look. Shuu-chan might not preen as much as you, but he’s still particular about his appearance. Still…” Kokichi took a deep breath, smelling the water and clear air around them. “It’s way too hot for jackets this time of year. Almost too hot for button-downs too, but this is protecting my skin, so…”

Shrugging a little, Kokichi crouched down by Kaito as well, though he started sorting through rocks rather than just feeling the water. Every now and then he’d bring one up for inspection, before dropping it again…

Until he found a smooth, perfectly flat stone that was just begging to be skipped. 

Rising with a grin, Kokichi took a half step back, applying all the throwing lessons Maki had been teaching him to his self-taught skipping lessons, and tossed the stone across the pond. (Well, spring actually, but whatever.)

And, much to his satisfaction, the stone skipped four times before sinking for good, finding a new home closer to the middle of the water.

Kaito blinked, looking mildly stunned as he watched the rock skip one, twice, thrice, uh… quince? Four. Four times. Huh.

Curiously, Kaito picked up a random rock, reared his arm back, threw—--

PLONK.

Kaito pouted as the rock just sunk. “Okay, how did you do that?” Kaito asked, giving Kokichi a bewildered look, “Do it again, I wanna see.”

Kaito just seemed kind of amazed and curious so… Kokichi smiled softly, crouching back down to find a good rock. “Not great at skipping stones? It took me a long time to figure out a good way to do it--I’d watch people like a little weirdo, and spend hours sometimes out here or by other ponds practicing…”

“...or just kinda…doing it, I guess,” Kokichi hummed, sounding thoughtful as he plucked up a rock, before dropping it back in. Too rounded on one side. “There’s not really a point to skipping stones, though I don’t think people do it enough for the land under the water to get all messed up or anything. It’s just kinda nice.”

Humming happily as he found a suitably flat stone, Kokichi showed off how he held it in his hand before swinging his arm back, flinging the stone, almost like throwing a frisbee, though the techniques were more different than the same. 

One, two, three skips.

Kaito watched determinedly, his eyes watching Kokichi’s hands and posture, before they followed the skips. One, two, three… okay! He could totally do three! 

Picking another random rock, Kaito sat up more, doing his best to mimic what he had seen Kokichi do. Alright, come on, put ALL your strength into it, annnnd—--!

PLONK.

“Dammit! Alright, hold on, let me try it again,” Kaito said determinedly, searching the water to grab another random rock, “What’d you call it? Skipping stones? I’ve seen people do this with coppers in Novoselic, but you’re literally just doing it with stones! Like… wow!” Kaito said enthusiastically, genuinely impressed. “I kinda assumed you could only do stuff like this with flat metals.”

Finding another– still bulky– stone, Kaito said to Kokichi, “Alright, show me one more time, I can do this! Do I stand like this or…?”

Kokichi’s eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. So it was that Kaito had never done it before. He supposed that made sense, considering the open water situation in Luminary, but…still. It was surprising. As was the fact that people did it with money.

Wild.

“Well, it’s kind of the same principle,” Kokichi started, crouching down to search for more skippable stones. He had a feeling they might be there a while. “You do need a pretty flat stone for it to work. I don’t know the exact science, but I’m assuming the bulk makes too much wobble and resistance. You’re kinda…trying to launch the stone parallel with the water, so it bounces…”

“...aha!” Kokichi stood up with his quandary, and handed the flatter stone over to Kaito. “You’re aiming for distance more than height. Try to, like…”

Without a stone in hand, Kokichi slowly mimed throwing one, trying to let Kaito get a good look at his form.

Kaito watched… okay, there was only one word for it. FIERCELY. His normally gentle and playful magenta gaze looking as serious as it did when he was in the middle of a fight, aggressive and entirely focused. It had been a long time since Kaito had gotten a chance to learn a new physical skill, and his competitive fire was STOKED!

Dropping the rock he had been holding, Kaito took the smooth stone, inspecting it before nodding determinedly, one again following Kokichi’s form, before, come on! Maximum effort! Put your all in!!

WHOOSH.

THUD.

“Shoot.”  Kaito frowned, pouting as he watched the rock just fall against the opposite bank. “Too much distance. Damn, maybe I could cross the aqueduct to go get it back?”

…

Kokichi watched the stone sail--more like shoot--through the air straight on to the other side of the spring. Sure it wasn’t the biggest pond in the city, but…holy cow! Kokichi had to close his jaw from where it’d fallen open in astonishment before he gave Kaito a smile and crouched down again. 

“Uh, first of all, wow. But nah. We should be able to find flat stones still over here… Might go searching around later, though.”

Letting out a little breath as he searched, Kokichi glanced up at Kaito with a grin. “You know, you do so much that I don’t think I ever forget… But sometimes I really do underestimate how strong you are. My Kai-chan has biceps for days!”

Kaito squatted down to join Kokichi in his search, giving Kokichi a lightly startled look before giving a small, sheepish smirk. “Well, I can take some credit, but I gotta admit there’s a lot of genetics there too. I mean, apparently dad was a baseball player, so…” Kaito shrugged, pulling an oval shaped rock from the sand and showing it to Kokichi, “Like this?”

Kokichi peered over at the rock before humming with a nod. “It’s a little rounded, so I wouldn’t be expecting to get, like, five or more skips out of it, but you might be able to get a few good ones.”

Still searching for more stones, Kokichi chewed on the inside of his lip, debating a little with himself. “There’s some genetic stuff, sure, like stuff to do with muscle mass, but…I dunno. I don’t think ability like that is really something that gets passed on. But there is something cool about getting passed down a legendary pitching power.”

“Maybe the ability to throw itself, but, like, just body types and muscle mass and stuff? Like, for instance… and no offense, babe,” Kaito grinned warily, stretching up to try throwing again, “But I get the feeling there probably wasn’t a ton of massive arms in your family history. Like me and Sakura. We could all work out like fucking crazy and be, like, individually fucking ripped. But I can’t get to Sakura’s size, there’s just no way. And I don’t think you or King Aiichi would ever look like me at your most shredded.”

“I mean, you’d still be strong as fuck. And you can’t beat technique for anything, that’s why Maki can kick my fucking ass in every kind of fight you can think of. But, just raw strength potential? That’s probably a lot of genes.” Kaito mused, mostly just talking aloud more than anything. Following the trail of thought as he copied Kokichi’s movements, stuck out his tongue a little, threw… “Oh! I think it kinda skipped? A little? Maybe that was just water splashing, actually…”

Scratching the back of his neck with a pout, Kaito continued, “Though, thinking about it, you mean like the technique itself, right? My dad never taught me to to throw, so, yeah, me knowing any sort of technique to it is probably more just… me having figured it out on my own or a fluke or something. Is that what you meant?”

Kokichi chuckled a bit. “That’s true. My father has some decent muscle, but he’s no triangle. And while I may build up muscle, it’s never gonna look defined or anything--just not how my body works. And from what I know, my mom wasn’t exactly the athletic type…like, at all.”

Humming approvingly at Kaito’s toss, Kokichi nodded a bit. Even if it didn’t get a full skip, it definitely looked closer to getting there. Passing up another flat rock, Kokichi grinned. “Getting closer! You’ll get some good skips before we run out of rocks right here for sure.”

He kept searching for more, though. 

Nodding, Kokichi gave his husband a half smile. “Kinda, yeah. I think Temp and I had a similar conversation, once. I was talking about how I didn’t manage to inherit any of my mom’s mathematical genius, and he mused on about how those kinds of things, like skills, are way more nurture than nature. You have the arms for distance throwin’, but it is quite a bit of technique. But I’d wager you prolly had more than a few people who could give good advice, growin’ up.”

“...yeah.” Kaito said softly, cleaning off another rock as he considered it for skipping purposes. Throwing it up and catching it, Kaito’s brow furrowed, throwing his shoulder back and, still putting too much effort in his biceps and not in his wrists, he THREW… but this time he wasn’t that put out as it just plunked into the water, picking up another rock as he said, “Do you remember the general? It’s fine if you don’t, I don’t think you guys talked much. General Juuzo?”

Kokichi wasn’t really able to describe the change, or soft tipping point or…whatever was going on, but he did know that he probably didn’t have to search for more rocks for Kaito to skip. Instead, Kokichi held onto a few, starting to just skip them himself. 

“I don’t think he ever said a word to me directly, but yeah, I remember him.” Kokichi paused to throw a stone. “You said that if you finished up at university and enlisted, you’d be following in his footsteps, right? That he was a sort of mentor to you, as you were learning about the military?”

Kaito grinned, giving Kokichi a soft, pleased look at that, “Hey, you remembered! I can’t believe you remembered all that, I don’t think I’ve talked about him since he left. Yeah, he was basically going to be my official mentor once I was in the military. Guide my career, look after me, all that. But he was also just kinda around a lot when I was growing up too.”

Taking another stab at throwing, once again, Kaito thought it was going a little better, that had kinda looked like it might skip?? Taking another stone from his hand and cleaning it as he mused, “Anyway, you know Priestess’s were all women, and, I mean, I respected the shit out of them, seriously, the priestess’s at the temple were probably the biggest direct influence on me, outside of Tengan. But… and I know this is gonna sound stupid, but…” Kaito shrugged, “I really wanted a guy to look up too, growing up. Someone like me! Masculine and big and strong… but in the way I’m those things. Just, someone I could see myself in.”

“Mr. Nidai was kind of like that for me sometimes, but, well, me being a prince and him being an Indentured kinda made things complicated, and he was all about Maki-roll anyway, of course, she was his pride and joy. So I didn’t learn as much from him as I maybe could of. And Tengan is not like me. Sure, he was a guy, but… I didn’t just want a guy to look up too, ya know? Like not just anyone. It had to be someone I wanted to be like too! Byakuya was always going to take more from Tengan’s lessons than I ever could have, and that’s even assuming he’d have ever tried to mentor me.” Kaito huffed, rolling his eyes. “Like, for real, I mean.”

“Dad was… busy.” Kaito shrugged, before lighting up, “But every now and again, there was this guy who’d come to the castle for war meetings, and he was so impressive. He was big and tough and aggressive, and he always seemed confident, like he knew what he was talking about. I’d sometimes hang out around the war rooms just hoping I’d get his attention, that he’d let me listen in or follow him around or would talk to me a bit. God I thought he was cool… and he was nice to me. In his own way. Dad would let me hang out in the war room sometimes too, but it…”

Kaito hesitated. Realizing he had never really thought about why it felt different, exploring his feelings for this only now as he said, “... felt different. Dad would get into these moods. It was weird. Sometimes it seemed like he adored me. But it was always really random, and I could never figure out what I was doing differently when he was suddenly smothering me with affection, versus when he would ignore me or couldn’t stand having me around. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing right or wrong at all, but I’d just hang around until someone kicked me out kinda hoping that dad would just… like me that day. For whatever reason.”

“But when the general was there? I always knew exactly where I stood with him. If it was too busy, he’d kick me out, but it was always because they just didn’t have time for the prince to be hanging around. He’d kick me out if he was about to start screaming at people too, or if there was going to be a fight. Like, I always understood why. And when I was allowed to stay.” Kaito grinned, “It was always like I was learning something. He’d do a bunch of little things that I appreciate way more looking back on now, asking me random questions to see if I was paying attention, having me run errands or move the figurines on the war map around, explaining things if the context wasn’t obvious. Like… he was paying attention, ya know? I don’t know, I just thought he was the coolest guy in the world, honestly. I think I would have learned a lot from him, taking him on as a full time mentor.”

“Anyway, he didn’t always teach me himself, but every time he visited he always wanted to test out the latest weapons training I’d had. I loved showing off to this guy, though he’d whip me every time. He didn’t teach me to throw, or even how to swing a sword, but he was one of the main reasons I wanted to learn to do well so badly. Everything I learned I got to show off to him the next time he came back from the front lines! It was really motivating.” Kaito grinned, taking another swing and watching with a sheepish laugh as the rock, once again was mostly distance and less technique, Kaito caught up in his story as he scratched his chin, “...I miss him.”

“...if you know what happened to him, maybe don’t tell me.” Kaito murmured, “I don’t think I want to know. He was loyal and dedicated. If he never contacted the castle? Luminary, I mean, then… he couldn’t. And I just hope he’s not suffering anymore.”

It wasn’t often, but…Kaito had talked about the general once or twice since the last time they had seen him. Usually in context when they had been talking about his college days, and, well, naturally that led into what he was in college for. And even in the short few days they had been together, Kokichi could tell that General Juuzo was someone Kaito really respected. It was only with hindsight that he could identify that respect as genuine, or what he would classify as genuine, rather than the fear and expectations Kaito had towards, say, Tengan. 

…the general actually had spoken to him once, Kokichi now remembered. In those last moments. Apologizing for Chisa’s behavior at breakfast. 

It had been sincere. 

“It’s not stupid,” Kokichi hummed, smiling slightly as he got another four skips out of a rock. “There’s a reason kids need role models more than just one or two people. And representation is important… You can have a lot of wonderful people in your life but…it makes a world of difference to see someone like yourself. Maybe not exactly like you, but…someone you could see yourself growing up to be. Who you would want to grow up to be. The priestesses were special, wonderful people to you…but you’re not a woman, and never felt like one, and…well, I can’t speak for you, but you never talked about wanting to be a priestess, or devote yourself to Atua in a similar way, outside of worship and belief. You could learn a lot of lessons and qualities from them that you’d want to take with you…but you couldn’t see yourself being them, does that sound right?”

And with Kaito’s father… Role models weren’t always two way, but they did tend to be healthiest when they were, at least when it was someone actively in your life. And… Well, it was obvious that Leon had issues. Everything about everything Kokichi even sort of knew about the man screamed it. So his affection for his kids was just…another one. 

But the general…

Kokichi pressed to Kaito’s side for a moment, just half hugging him. “I’m glad. That he was in your life, that he looked after you… I wish I had gotten to know him better, though I know how difficult everything was during our wedding. But as someone so important to you…I still wish it.”

“...I don’t know what happened,” Kokichi said softly, giving Kaito a regretful look. “But…thanks for letting me know your wishes. I hope he’s at peace, whatever happened.”

Kaito nodded. Maybe a part of him should feel guilty, to not know what happened to the man. But… knowing what happened to the rest of the Luminary party? Knowing that he and Tengan hadn’t gotten along? Kaito didn’t really have any hope that his potential mentor had survived the trip, and he just… wanted to remember the man as he had been. Strong and confident and self-assured. How he had been defeated? Kaito didn’t want to know. Maybe he’d ask him in paradise.

Flicking his wrist almost idly, just playing around, Kaito’s eyes widened before he shouted, “Kokichi! Look, look, did you see! Fucking got one! That was definitely a skip this time! Hell yeah! Did you see that shit! Woo!”

Laughing heartily at his achievement, Kaito, feeling accomplished, just watched Kokichi skip rocks a bit– fuck, his husband was a damn pro– as he asked, “Well, what about you, babe? I feel like I already know the answer, but, I mean… what was it like having Hideki as a role model. He was, wasn’t he?”

Kokichi didn’t know the fates of most of the people in the party. For a long time, it hadn’t seemed like something Alter Ego wanted to talk about--not that Kokichi was exactly prying, but…if his friend had needed to confide, Kokichi would listen--and now… Well, it was still the same. Kokichi would be there if Alter Ego needed to talk. 

Over a hundred had been whittled to fourteen, at best. Kokichi knew the children had survived, and were being taken care of, he knew that Chisa and Kazuo were alive, and up to something in the Ronpan capital, and he knew the fates, at least generally, of Mondo, Taka, and Chihiro. And everyone else…

…he hadn’t known them. If it wasn’t for the sake of letting his friend express their grief and trauma…there wasn’t a reason for Kokichi to know. Not any more than to just try to honor their memory, as people who had lived, as much as he could as a stranger. 

Kokichi’s gaze hadn’t gone downcast, if a little unfocused, but he managed to catch the small bounce Kaito’s stone made. Grinning widely, Kokichi did a little bounce in his knees, cheering. “Yeah!! Nice one, hun! Told you you’d be a natural!”

Giggling, Kokichi passed over one of his carefully selected rocks before throwing one too, letting the rock skip before glancing over at his husband with a smaller smile. “He was. It’s easier to see his flaws as an adult, but…I really looked up to him as a kid. Though…”

Tilting his head a little, Kokichi sighed softly. “...it’s hard to explain. My uncle is a precious person in my life, but…it’s like he and Toshio together were what General Juuzo was on his own for you. I mean…more than just the fact that they were happiest together? It’s like…if you combined them both, that’s who I wanted to be, growing up.”

“...though, of course, with clownery thrown in,” Kokichi snorted, giving his husband a smirk. 

Kaito winced, ever so slightly, at Toshio’s name. Yeaaaaaah. Sometimes Kaito forgot how much of an effect the war had on Kokichi personally. The war was always distant, from Kaito, in any way that really mattered to Kaito. But Kokichi had been personally affected in a bunch of different ways, and that was more then just ‘caring about his people’ affected. He had lost too many people he had known. If not permanently, then for years and years.

Still, Kaito didn’t want to discourage Kokichi talking about them with his own Luminary guilt, so he shoved that shit right down as he grinned brightly at Kokichi, “Oh yeah? Tell me more about it, what would you say you picked up from Toshio? I already know you picked up all the smart stuff from Hideki, and, like, got your clown fixation thing from Ikuo’s stories, right? What did Toshio add to the masterpiece that is my husband?” 

Kokichi gave Kaito a soft look, but didn’t mention anything. It wasn’t Kaito’s fault for starting or maintaining the war, and he wasn’t implicit in it by either just being Luminary, or being a Momota. There was nothing Kaito could’ve done to end the war any earlier. So…he didn’t have anything to be guilty for. But Kokichi wouldn’t deny his husband his emotions. 

As Kaito recovered, Kokichi snorted a bit, looking for more rocks. “I wouldn’t say it’s something I necessarily picked up…but it was something I always admired. My uncle was just…so fun.”

Kokichi smiled, a nostalgic look on his face. “He always wanted to make things a party--or find the party that was already going on. Invite people in to whatever was going on, make them feel comfortable and a part of things and just…keep the mood up and fun. Even doing chores or homework, he always found a way to make it better than just being…mindless, or a drag.”

Kokichi shook his head a little, sighing softly. “...I think I’ve said it before, but you really remind me of him, sometimes. You two definitely have similar vibes.”

“What? You don’t think you’re fun?” Kaito asked, giving Kokichi a bewildered look, “You’re a ton of fun, beautiful! I would say you picked that up just fine! Trust me, if you weren’t fun, you and I would not get along as well as we do. I don’t have any patience for people who don’t want to have a good time.”

“I’m gonna guess that you maybe have different ways of having fun then your old esteemed uncle… actually, that’s not even a safe guess, you were a baby Kokichi when you knew him.” Kaito realized, reaching over and gently ruffling Kokichi’s hair, beaming at him, “If Toshio liked to have fun the way I used too? I’m gonna guess he wasn’t telling his cutie-patootie homebody baby nephew about it. Awww, I’m jealous, I bet you were so fucking cute.” Kaito teased, pinching his husband face a little. “Baby Kokichi with baby puffy cheeks~”

Kokichi shook his head a little, laughing softly. “I’m not denying that. I may not be the most exciting guy, but I like to think I’m fun. I’m just…not a good host, like he was. I’m not good at scooping people up and bringing them into the party. It’s…it’s like what Am-chan did when we met. Being a friend to a person, whether it’s just for a few minutes, or something that will blossom into a more long-standing friendship. I’m more…an event, than a friend.”

Rolling his eyes a little as Kaito ruffled his hair and pinched his cheeks, Kokichi stuck his tongue out at his husband. “What, like I don’t have a round face now? Geez…”

“And he did tell me a few party stories. I used to think he was being pretty candid but…looking back now, he was probably omitting a lot,” Kokichi smiled softly, shaking his head from Kaito’s grip. “...I think I overheard my uncles talking, once, about what might’ve been an issue of alcohol abuse… That was one of the ways they really balanced each other, that I don’t think a lot of people realized.”

Realizing he’d made a few leaps, Kokichi tried to explain. “Not alcohol, but… All the fun stuff…none of that was fake. But…Toshio-ji was definitely just…really focused on making sure people were happy. And there’s a certain amount of…hyping up yourself that you need to do, to do that. And while it almost always just looks like him being a curmudgeon these days… Hideki-ji has always been unapologetically himself. And he doesn’t take bullshit from other people either. Especially after the rest of their friends passed…I really think Hideki was the only person Toshio let himself just…relax with. Not have to be 110%, the hype man…”

He sighed softly. “...I know a lot of people always saw their relationship as just…Toshio dragging Hideki into things. But it wasn’t like that, really. They were a partnership, in all of the ways I’d ever idealized a partnership being. They were exactly what the other person needed.”