“I know.” Kaito said softly, “I wish I had thicker skin. Here I am married to the nicest guy in the world and I still find things to whine about. How in the hell did I survive Luminary? You’re a dream come true…”

“It’s never your fault for being hurt,” Kokichi murmured, rocking his head against Kaito’s. “And I make plenty of mistakes. Even ones I don’t realize are mistakes until far too late. I hate hurting you…but I’m thankful for your patience with me, while I try to learn to cherish you better. …I do attribute a lot of my growth to your help, you know?”

“It’s not your job to help me grow, and it’s not your burden to wait until I’m someone worthy of you…but I am thankful for you being here.”

“Tch. Charmer.” Kaito mumbled, red tinting his face at that a bit, clearly flustered. “...I didn’t want to be angry with you. Him. Both of you. I hate yelling at you. It makes me feel monstrous. I know I haven’t been good about that lately. I’m sorry you’ve seen me so stupidly angry, so often. You’re allowed to make mistakes without me being an asshole and losing my mind on you about it. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” Kokichi gently pecked Kaito’s lips, no longer right against his forehead, but not much farther away. “I know you don’t like being angry with me. I think…”

Kokichi huffed softly, a smile on his lips. “...you said before you wished I was angry at you more often. I think I wish you were annoyed with me more often. Maybe the arguments would be easier, if we were. But…at least on my end, it doesn’t feel good. I don’t think it’s realistic to wish we could both just…never end up hurting each other…but I’m still going to try. I just have to be better at listening to you, when you tell me I messed up.”

Kaito laughed, rubbing Kokichi’s back a bit as he said, “Maybe I should just show you when I’m annoyed more. Cause you do listen, I know you do. It just shouldn’t take me blowing up at you, and I don’t think it does… damn. Why the hell do I feel better about all of this? Nellis wasn’t exactly a well of new information, but I do feel… I don’t know. Lighter about everything that happened.”

“You didn’t get to talk everything out with him, specifically, before,” Kokichi shrugged, pecking Kaito’s cheek. “We got to talk about it…but not him. Even if he is me, still. Maybe just…tying up loose ends like that helps. You have said you hate it when people just walk away.”

“...maybe it’s the view.” Kokichi looked out over Kaito’s shoulder, smiling at the sea. “This is…really incredible, Kai-chan.”

“Oh, right?” Kaito said, finally setting Kokichi down to let him look around and take in the view as much as he wanted, “Isn’t it pretty? It’s nice, it’s… really relaxing.” Kaito said, leaning against the safety rail, leaning back over the edge with far too much reckless ease, though he did grab a holding rope secured through the safety rails. “Ya know, as a ‘life’ goal? I really would love to travel by ship at least once. I don’t know if they’d ever let us do something like this, or if it’d be as nice in real life as it is in my head… but it is an enticing idea either way. An adventure on the high-sea~”

“It’s amazing,” Kokichi giggled, “Though I’m not sure I wouldn’t immediately get sea sick. It might be just because we’re so high up, but it’s crazy how much we’re still moving.”

Moving to the railing, Kokichi took a deep breath of the salty air, feeling like he could reach out his fingertips and touch the world…

“...we could. It’s faster to Novoselic by boat, after all…and I have a friend on one of Luminary’s coasts that I’d like to meet one day. We could even plan a trip to Novis, or convince people that going to Kimigashine or Wonderland ourselves is suuuuuper necessary for diplomatic business.”

“You joke, but Kimigashine and Wonderland are both loaded.” Kaito chuckled, “Byakuya would have eaten his left nut to secure favorable trade negotiations with Wonderland. Unfortunately, they just don’t seem to need a lot of metal, which is our main export, but we love their wine and fabrics, so it’s mostly our money going towards Wonderland. Kimigashine buys a lot of sand and metal from us, but they don’t really ‘need’ it either, beyond luxury goods like fancy glassware and one time projects like infrastructure and weapons. They mostly just keep good relations with us because we’re so tight with Novoselic, whose trading ships are invaluable to Kimigashine… I mean, Byakuya was trying to make our main export cheap contract labor, but that’s done with now. For the best really.”

“It’s funny. I grew up so wealthy, I couldn’t understand why our country couldn’t buy literally any asking price. Our gems and metal resources should have been enough, right?” Kaito shrugged, before smiling grimly, “Coming to Dicea made me understand more why it isn’t. Luminary’s entire economy is dependent on those exports, which was great back when the world was industrializing. But now all the major growth is done and beyond maintenance and small projects, metal and gems are now a luxury export. The world doesn’t need us. Which would be fine, we should have had plenty left over as a country from our huge period of growth, but the imports we need are vital, food and water, and the Momota family– I’m assuming by this point, honestly– mishandled the funds we had… well, that and Dangarnonpa’s been undermining and sabotaging us. But even if that wasn’t true, we’re not in a good negotiating position with most countries. We need other countries more than they need us.”

“...” Kaito suddenly looked uncomfortable. Kicking the back of his foot against the wood of the ship, as he said softly, “...actually, I’ve had this, like… idea… for a while… it feels really obvious to me though, there’s probably a reason no one’s been doing it yet already, or maybe it’s already in the works and I just don’t know about it…”

Kokichi nodded with a half-amused look on his face. “We have…moderate relations with Wonderland, because of my grandfather, and while they have relations with Luminary, Kimigashine did remain neutral during the war, so we were still able to trade with them…but neither market are really big, I’d say. With the world becoming more connected, and our shores not as dangerous, we probably should start making stronger deals with them.”

Like Luminary had been trying to do for a while. While Dicea had shut its borders and blotted the world out, privileged with their food and shelter, Luminary had been ever aware of their constant countdowns. It served them well during industrialization, and while they were in a down now…it would probably serve them well in the future, when relationships between nations meant more than just the occasional new type of luxury good. 

But while it was important to consider the future, a nation’s head had to focus on the present. And where Luminary was now…

Kokichi looked over at his husband and tilted his head, giving him a soft look. “...wanna tell me about it? You have really good ideas, hun. Maybe it really isn’t something people have realized yet.”

Kaito tapped his foot against the wood a bit more, nibbling lightly on the inside of his cheek, “...well, okay, right, so… people must know about Miu’s train idea, right? The steam locomotive? Byakuya went out of his way to talk to Miu, King Aiichi is familiar with her, there’s no way she hasn’t mentioned the idea to them both already, so Kaede must know.” Kaito said quickly. Very quickly, like he was afraid if he didn’t get the words out now he’d lose his chance.

“And if they know, then they know what a massive opportunity it is, right? Kaede must know.” He continued, half talking to himself now, still nibbling on his inner bottom lip, “And anywhere you could actually make it work? The train system? If it works half as well as she predicts, in the long run? It’d cut transportation and trade costs between countries by half. Like, a carriage that can go 78 miles per hour, non-stop, carrying she estimates twenty-five tons of material!?” Kaito said, eyes widening a little, “The initial cost of production to get it all up and running would be extremely costly, yes, but the long term benefit.”

“And, like, Kaede has to already be on top of that, because Luminary has all of the resources to sell to every other country to build their trains and rails! We have the metal, the coal, we even have a massive labor force that would hugely benefit from not having to deal with returning to business’s and labor pools that are resentful to them for the price hykes they need to pay for the same level of labor they used to just have cheap access too. Miu estimates that each country to develop a railway system would need a labor pool of 15,000 workers, and who suddenly has an excess in the labor pool full of people who have really good reasons to want to get into a new field and travel? Give Luminary workers the training and expertise to build railway systems, sell the resources, have everything set up so that when every fucking country realizes how much easier everything would be with high speed mass transportation, the only smart decision would be to import the labor and expertise from Luminary…”

Kaito shifted uncomfortably, as he gave Kokichi a sheepish grin, “...or Dicea. This could also be a good idea for Dicea. Miu’s a Dicean, it’d make a lot of sense if you trained an expert workforce here, kept the specs for the locomotives confidential so that other countries would have to use Dicean labor. I mean, that’d make a lot of sense too, it’d be good for Dicea, potentially, if you pitched the idea to King Aiichi, if he doesn’t already know yet, which, again…he should, right? Miu should be telling everyone about this idea, it’s… honestly potentially world changing, her locomotive idea… Aiichi and Kaede must be working on it already.”

Kokichi had chatted to Miu about the train before, of course, and he was the one to initially put her and Kaito (and later Souda) in contact, so…yeah, he knew. But Kaito had poured over the specs, and hearing him talk about the whole plan…

Practically melted, Kokichi adoringly latched onto Kaito’s side, nuzzling him. “My practical guy~”

With a smooch on the bicep, Kokichi gave Kaito a more sheepish look. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d had some talks about it, yeah. And while I could see some people getting specialized in train work…I don’t think it’s the sort of thing we’re going to keep secret from the world, when it’s ready.”

“...and I think that’s just the tipping point. When it’s ready.” Sighing softly, Kokichi looped his arm around Kaito’s, looking back out to the sea. “It’s…incredible, what Miu is proposing. And all the work she’s put into it…every time I hear something new, it seems less and less like an impossible idea.”

“...but we still have no idea if it’s going to work. The initial costs would be insane if it turns out that we build a chunk of metal that still needs horses to pull…and even with the railing, horses wouldn’t be able to move even a fraction of her estimates. I think…that’s just why nothing’s gone into action yet.”

Resting his head on Kaito’s arm, Kokichi gave him a squeeze. “The second Miu can prove that her engine thing works? That it’d be able to move the train like she says? Then things are gonna be moving faster than we can imagine.”

Kaito laughed a little awkwardly at that, rubbing the back of his neck with his free arm, an embarrassed flush covering his face and neck, “Yeah, see, I knew there was something I was missing… I mean, the specs on the engines are very impressive looking, but that doesn’t mean they work. Hopefully she can prove it someday… but, man, once she does? Humanity’s going to get so much faster… it’s going to be incredible to witness.”

Scratching lightly at his stomach, it suddenly occurred to him where they had left off. “We’re both snoozing at the memorial garden now, huh?” Kaito said, kissing lightly at Kokichi’s temple, “What time is Lake and Nazumi’s thing. Should we be getting up yet?”

“Nah, you weren’t wrong,” Kokichi hummed, pressing another kiss to Kaito’s arm. “Some things just move more slowly than you want ‘em to. It’d be amazing if you could just…list out all the logistics of something, and bam! They’d be done in an instant! But…life isn’t quite that fast yet. We’ll get there.”

The future was always coming, after all. 

Laughing sheepishly, Kokichi nodded. “We probably should, yeah. My sister said that if we came after noon it’d be swell, so I think it’s just kind of a casual thing. Honestly, we could probably bug her into letting us hole up in her room to snooze more, if we wanted. But I am excited to see what kind of stuff she and Nazumi have been baking up today~”

“I know, I just get excited.” Kaito murmured, still a little embarrassed at how impassioned he had gotten. It was just cool stuff. The sort of travel that made him find ship-life exciting and space fascinating. Distance being conquered! Exploration showing anyone everything.

It was exciting stuff.

“Mmmm, a nap that was actually a nap does sounds goo–”

-

Kaito’s eyes flicked behind his lids, something sharp digging into his shoulder as someone whispered, “Poke him again.”

“He’s dead.”

“They’re not dead, they’re just sleeping.”

“Who sleeps at the memorial garden? Asking to be possessed by ghosts.”

“Maybe they were already possessed and the ghosts brought them here?”

“Why?”

“I dunno, see if their ashes ended up in a nice place?”

“Poke him again.”

“No.” Kaito grumbled, opening his eyes as he swiped the stick away from his shoulder, giving the kids an annoyed look, “No more poking. What are you kids doing?”

John, James and Ace all gave him an even look back, Ace holding a long stick. “...are you possessed?” John asked.

“No! Wh… why would I be possessed!?” Kaito shouted, turning pale.

“Mmmm…mmm.” With a stifled yawn, Kokichi opened his eyes, taking a few slow blinks before giving the kids in front of them a sheepish look. “Oh… Sorry if we worried you. We were taking some time to meditate but…it’s such a nice day, we must’ve fallen asleep.”

Looking over to check that the ashes from the incense weren’t burning anything--now that was a good reason not to fall asleep, whoops--Kokichi gave the kids a brighter smile. “Happy Remembrance. Did you guys come here for the wall too?”

“Not really. We like to bike the path here.” Ace said, using her stick to point at the trio of bicycles that had been laid out on the grass, “There’s some really good hills here, and our parents said we could go so long as we didn’t bother anyone.”

“How does poking me with a stick not count as bothering people?” Kaito grumbled.

“I don’t think you can bother dead people.” John shrugged.

“It’d have been wildly irresponsible to leave bodies alone.” James nodded wisely.

“My life is plagued by smartass children.” Kaito whined to Kokichi, stretching out his shoulders a bit.

“We did ask for it,” Kokichi shrugged, carefully getting out of Kaito’s lap. He wouldn’t exactly call the tweens who they occasionally ran into family, but…when you wanted a big family, and a big community, sometimes you just had to accept that sassy kids were going to own you. It was one of the laws of growing up. 

Carefully tamping on the ashes of the incense stick before he prepared to put the frog away, Kokichi perked as he reached into his bag. “Oh! No pressure to accept things from people you don’t know that well, but my husband and I made cookies this morning. Would you three like some?”

James and John’s eyes widened, while Ace said sagely, “I’m pretty sure refusing pastries from the princes is a hate crime.”

“Right! Cause…?” John said, giving Ace an uncertain look, “...they’re…?”

“Half Luminary and Half Atuan.” Ace explained. “That basically makes them religious cookies. We gotta eat them. In the name of my people.”

“I don’t really know if I do want a cookie.” James mused, giving the princes a wary look, “It’s not a healthy cookie, is it? Something gross with raisins?”

“I think if it’s a raisin cookie, it stops being an Atuan cookie, and is maybe a hate crime against us.” Ace reasoned, “We’d be bigoted to take it.”

“Bigoted against us? Why?” John asked.

“Because we don’t like raisin cookies. Or oatmeal cookies.”

“I like Oatmeal cookies.” John pointed out.

“Then we’re bigoted against you, and me hitting you with this stick will be a hate crime.” Ace explained.

The three kids had, recently, gone through a sensitivity awareness class at the temple, and were having some fun still with the phrases they had learned there. 

Kaito’s temple twitched. “They’re snickerdoodles. Just take them, ya little weirdos.” 

All three kids held out a hand, “Yes, please!”

-

“Oh yes, please!”

Lake enthusiastically bit into the cookie Kokichi passed out, humming her approval right away. “Oh, li’l bro, this rocks!”

As Kokichi had predicted, things were pretty low-key at his sister and aunt’s house. There weren’t any pictures up, and there wasn’t any music playing (yet), and there were only a few people actually there. Nazumi was finishing up in the kitchen, Lake had let them know, and Denji had taken a peek at the door when they saw it open, before settling back, figuring (correctly) that Kokichi would come by once he’d gotten through Hurricane Lake. 

There were three very similar-looking people visible in the sitting room with Denji, chatting with the stylist, and one more person who looked like they had just gotten there before the princes. There was food laid out, and Kokichi wouldn’t be surprised if they brought out board games at some point, but…yeah. Casual was the word. 

Grinning, Kokichi pressed into the tight hug Lake still had around him. “I’m glad you like it. Most of the credit goes to Kai-chan--he’s by and far the baker between us.”

Kaito grinned sheepishly at that, giving Lake a nod as he said, “Kokichi’s not giving himself enough credit, if he hadn’t been keeping an eye on the recipe book they wouldn’t have the cinnamon layer, and, like, what would they have even been without that? Sugar cookies? Bummer cookies, more like… uh, Happy Remembrance?”

He looked around, shifting his weight uneasily from hip to hip a bit as he tried to get a read of the room. Lots of people he didn’t recognize, but then, that was expected…

“I don’t really understand why you’re being so difficult about this, Keig’s,” Shigeru said, leaning against his knee as he continued to try to make his brother see reason, peering into the sunglasses with an openly judgy expression, “It’s, ya know… purifying. A symbol of us putting our dark period of history behind us, and moving onto, ya know… a new tomorrow. It’s art.”

“It’s… small, isn’t it?” Namino snickered, giving Shigeru a look that was equally adoring and a little exasperated, “I thought you hated burning small things. It’d literally be the size of a eyedrop bottle, if that? Right?? Keigo??”

“I’d put the Despair Spore sample on a massive pyre, one of those floating ones, and push it out into the lake.” Shigeru explained, putting his hand on his heart, like even the mental imagery moved him, “It’d be impossible to actually see burn, but we’d all know it was burning. Beautiful. Just give me a sample bottle. What do you even need them for anymore??”

“Happy Remembrance, big guy,” Lake greeted back, finally releasing Kokichi only to pull Kaito into a side hug. She was considerate enough not to go for a full hug, but no party guest was escaping without a Lake Meo special greeting. “You want to light a candle for someone? Shiggy brought more than enough for everyone.”

Despite most of his expressive facial features being hidden, Keigo managed to express deep and utter frustration with his brother. “It’s a controlled substance, Shigeru. I’ve never even seen the inside of where Seiko’s storing it, and I don’t think Hansuke has either. Every medical professional and health service worker in the country would be clamoring about another outbreak if I even looked at the safe wrong.”

“You’d probably have more luck actually getting your avant-guard display if you weren’t openly discussing a crime in a guard’s home, as well,” Denji commented dryly, sipping from a flute that definitely wasn’t alcohol (it was too early in the day, even for them) but could certainly look like it. 

Rolling her eyes with a snort, Lake shook her head before she guided her brothers into the living room. “Den’s got a point, Shiggy. And I think it might be too early for sensitive stuff like that, even for art. …anyway.”

Clapping her hands, Lake gestured to the room. “So! Everyone’s here! Ko, Kai-guy, you know Den, of course, but here’s Namino, Keigo, Naomi, and Shigeru! Guys, these are my cute li’l bros, Kokichi and Kaito.”

Keigo nodded, waving a bit to the princes, a soft smile gracing his face. “It’s nice to properly meet you two. Happy Remembrance.”

“Obviously this is all hypothetical and/or a joke, whichever looks better as a witness statement.” Shigeru said dismissively, “But is it really illegal if someone from the medical team gave it to me?”

“...yes?” Namino guessed. “That just means Keigo’s abetting, right? Also, you’re not supposed to burn pyres in the lake.”

“An outdated rule that no doubt will be fixed any day now. I’ve written the castle several times about it.”

“A-ah!” Naomi jumped, her long, bright red hair almost seeming to puff out like a cat in alarm as she seemed almost wildly concerned with being introduced, at first shooting her hands out like she was trying to accept something, bringing them to her chest, before seemingly remembering how to greet someone as she threw a hand in the air and waved, “Hello! Happy Remembrance! Um….” She threw her hands back down into her lap, looking embarrassed as she sat stiffly with the triplets. 

There was something immensely relaxing about being around someone way more nervous than you, and Kaito grinned a bit more cheerfully as he gave Naomi a wave back. 

“...sup.” Shigeru said after a moment, like even just greeting them was a little more emotional labor then he had really felt like putting in that day, giving them a nod. 

“Aw, Lake siblings! Heeeey, cutie-pies! How old are they, Lake?” Namino asked, a cheeky grin spreading across his cheeks as he said, “One of them’s I’d say… seven? The other fifteen? Did I guess it right?”

“Got it in one.” Kaito said, “But don’t worry, I’m very mature for a seven year old.”

“Debatable,” Denji hummed with a small smirk. “Though there is something to say for effort.”

Rolling his eyes, Kokichi snorted a bit before settling down in one of the empty chairs, the weaved structure almost like a large, inverted dome with a big cushion inside. It reminded him of Dr. Mariah’s eggs, a little. “It’s nice to meet all of you. Kai-chan and made snickerdoodles this morning, so please help yourself!”

Following the call of food, it seemed like, Nazumi soon emerged from the kitchen with a plate full of still-warm rolls. “Aw, sweet of ya to bring ‘em, Kokichi, Kaito! Don’t’cha worry, we got some sweets set up too, but!” With pride, she set the rolls down on the center table, some of the bowls of dips and less-than-easy finger foods making more sense with bread to accompany them. “Just pulled these babies out! Catherine gave me a few tips on how ta get better crusts, so if they’re good, full credit to her!”

“Thank you, Nazumi. I’m sure your own credit isn’t to be dismissed,” Keigo gave her an easy grin. “It can’t be worse than whatever starch slurry Namino insisted passed as bread last week.”

“Damn, Denji, Lake’s right there, ya can’t just murder a guy like that.” Kaito huffed, looking around at the array of seating and idly just deciding to stand. Maybe he could help move food in and out or something. “Oh, and, sorry, Lake, I breezed right past your candle question. Sure, I’d love to light a candle! Uh, where are we lighting candles?”

“It’s soup bread!” Namino grinned, smiling brightly, “It’s going to be the next big thing!”

“I’m pretty sure it was literally inedible, Nam.” Shigeru pointed out, immediately reaching to grab one of the rolls, enjoying the small burning finger against his fingertips as he gave Nazumi a thankful nod, “Appreciate ya, Naz. Ya know, I’m really glad we got past the whole ‘burning bush’ incident in time for the holiday. I really feel closer to you after all of that.”

“Um, well, hopefully you mean in a way where you… don’t burn any more rose bushes…” Naomi fretted, pressing her palms fretfully together, “We almost lost the whole plant.”

“It was roses in their more intriguing and enticing form,” Shigeru sighed, looking dreamy at the memory, “Half turned to ash.”

Lake chuckled a bit before gently tapping Kaito’s arm to turn him, gesturing to a few tall, twisting candles in the window. “Any place that wouldn’t be a fire hazard is fine by us, but there’s something nice about the traditional look, right? Even if it is the middle of the day. We’ve got a few colored ones too, if there’s one that snags your eye!”

Selling down on a mid-sized stool, Nazumi snagged one of the cookies before giving Naomi a nod of solidarity. “We were lucky to save what was left. And as long as ya leave the garden be, Shigeru, we’re cool… Thalia’s still trying to ban you from the garden, though. Sweet girl’s not a smiler on the brightest days, but she was a breath away from maulin’ ya like a cougar when the bush went up.”

Kokichi’s eyebrows raised, frowning slightly. “You lit some of the garden on fire?”

Shigeru nodded, still smiling dreamily at the memory. “For my birthday. I figured, what better way to celebrate the life I’ve lived, then to elevate my plant into its most majestic form.”

“Your garden plant is a rose bush?” Kaito asked, calling back over his shoulder as he went to go look at the colored candles. “Or, I guess ‘was’ a rose bush?”

“Still is! The fire didn’t get to the roots. One day, it’ll grow back into it’s full form… and I can celebrate again~”

“Right, right, got it. ‘Arsonist’, Hear ya loud and clear.” Kaito muttered, shifting through the candles before lighting up, pulling out a maroon colored candle, “Oh, it’s gotta be this one, right? Shame there’s no gold trilling, but otherwise, perfect~ Hey, arsonist whose name I forgot!”

“Rude! What!?”

“Can I borrow a match!?” Kaito called back. “You have one, right?”

“Actually, no.” Shigeru sighed, looking a little put out, “They were all confiscated and no one’s allowed to sell them to me anymore.”

“And ‘elevating’ ours as well,” Keigo scoffed, shaking his head a little. “It’s almost painfully stereotypical that all out plants grow well together.”

“I think it’s cute, Kei-dango!” Lake laughed. “There’s something special about having your plants next to someone you’re close to--being a garden buddy is just the next step!”

“Like yours and Nazumi’s,” Denji drawled. 

“Exactly! Best friends, close flowers!”

Kokichi and Denji shared an exasperated look. 

Rising from his seat, Keigo grabbed a matchbox from his front pocket, offering it to Kaito. “It’s your own fault you’re on a ban list, you know, Shigeru. Honestly… The littering fines are evidence enough, but setting the zoo entrance on fire? I’m surprised the court didn’t give you a restraining order. Sloppy.”

“No one’s ever gotten hurt.” Shigeru said dismissively, “And those towering points on either side were made to carry flames. I captured the obvious original artist interpretation perfectly.” 

“You know, I really do think the whale statue you set ablaze actually does look better with all those black streaks.” Namino pointed out excitedly, giving his brother an earnest grin that made Kaito wince a little to notice it, taking the match from Keigo with a small thank you. Oof, he recognized that look. Good luck with that crippling ‘least of the siblings’ insecurity complex, bud. That ones a doozy.

Heading back to the window, Kaito put the maroon candle down and, with a quick prayer to Atua to generally watch out for his passed loved ones, wherever they were, he lit the candle. Quickly putting out the match, he looked over the other candles, before asking curiously to the whole group, “So, who are these guys?” 

Lake smiled softly at the silvery, twisting candle that she had lit earlier. “‘Zumi and I lit one earlier as just kind of a blanket remembrance, you know? But I lit one specifically for some of my old mentors. Ex-Guardforce folk, you know how it is. Some of ‘em were absolute whirlwinds in a fight, so I thought the shape fit.”

Taking the matchbox back--it was actually Lake and Nazumi’s, but Keigo was keeping an eye on it to keep his brother from getting sticky fingers--Keigo shrugged as he went back to his seat on the small couch he was sharing with Namino. “We usually light general ones too, but our grandfather died last year. Though I’d say the pyre Shigeru made at the time was an homage that candles cannot quite live up to. Grandpa would’ve gotten a kick out of it.”

Denji hummed, twirling their flute in their fingers delicately. “There was a lilac candle--I thought it would smell nice, though your baking triumphs that, Nazumi.”

“Aw geez, Den, thanks,” the blond laughed.

While they were friends, first and foremost, there was a reason this group had gotten together for Remembrance. Sometimes things weren’t as simple as having a loved one that had passed away. While she didn’t shut down talk about them on other days, Lake refused to talk about her parents on Remembrance. She had said that they weren’t worth remembering. 

Nazumi couldn’t share many memories of the people she had killed, but they were still worth honoring. The wrong kind of people got testy about a murderer mourning their victims so…they just didn’t invite the wrong kind of people to their celebration. 

Denji had long since put themselves as a ‘last of kin’. Their family might’ve still been alive, maybe not, and they didn’t care to find out. 

They might’ve not been directly murderers, but sometimes it still felt like the blood was on the triplets’ hands. The careful sympathy extended to them about a dead childhood friend felt damning. 

For a holiday all about sharing, for those for whom it was hard to share? In this house, they had agreed to let each other express what they wanted to express, and not judge what was said, or what wasn’t. 

“The lilac does smell nice.” Kaito complimented, deciding not to share who his candle was for unless asked. Again, he knew he couldn’t ask a bunch of Diceans to show sympathy to the people who had been invading them for the last twenty years. It was cruel, and Kaito didn’t want to use the leverage of him standing right in front of them as a way to force their hand, even unwittingly. 

So, he headed back to the group, scratching the back of his neck a bit before grabbing a roll. Breaking the bread, Kaito having the sudden, strange memory of trying to share bread with Nao for whatever reason his stressed out, depressed little brain had wanted to do that, he tried to distract himself from the memory before any wandering mind reader could pick up on it as he asked Namino, “So, slush bread? What happened?”

“Ha~” Namino laughed sheepishly, shrugging a little, “Honestly, if I knew, it wouldn’t have been slush. Still not sure where I went wrong there.” 

“I mean, I couldn’t tell ya without looking at it.” Kaito  admitted, “But, you got the right measurement of baking soda? It not retaining its form kinda sounds like a baking soda thing. Found that out after I kept turning my damn bread rolls to stone. Turns out the idea of ‘more the merrier’ does not work for recipes.”

“Oh, well… there’s so little baking soda needed, I do usually just eyeball it rather than measure it out.” Namino admitted, “I’ll keep a better eye on that next time, see if it makes any difference.”

“Um, also a stirring issue?” Naomi offered shyly, fidgeting with her hands– her candle, a small, simple white traditionally shaped candle had been lit in memory of her favorite professor and personal mentor, who had died about two years ago now– “If you’re pouring in the correct amount but it’s not thoroughly mixed in with everything else, it can’t really do the job, I’m afraid.”

Namino laughed a little at that, blushing, “Oh, give me some credit, I’m definitely stirring it in! …Probably! I’ll double check next time.”

“If I didn’t know better that kneading it more makes it tougher, I’d say you stir things to a literal pulp,” Keigo chuffed. “I really don’t think that’s the problem.”

“I don’t quite trust anyone who says they can eyeball baking,” Nazumi chuckled, catching some crumbs from her cookie. “That business changes with the weather, there ain’t a thing that’s set in stone. Don’t mean ya can’t get somethin’ scrummy out of it still, though.” 

With a laugh, Lake rubbed the back of her neck bashfully. “I mean…if you have all the ingredients there, it can’t get too gross, right?”

“Sweetpea, we have a compost bin that tells a different story.”

Again, Kokichi and Denji sent each other that exasperated look. Friends could give each other pet names, sure, but ‘sweetpea’? At their wedding, both his and their speeches were basically going to amount to ‘about time’. 

“Even failure’s a good teaching moment,” Kokichi hummed, laughing with a slightly sheepish look. “These cookies are the only things I’ve cooked in months, and both now and then Kai-chan’s really done the bulk of the work. I’m just in the kitchen to look pretty and make someone bring out a mop when I try to do dishes.”

“You say ‘someone’ like that wasn’t also me.” Kaito chuckled lightly, having tucked that particular memory of an annoyed, soaking wet Kokichi away into his personal memory highlight reel. Cute… “And you were super helpful babe, like you always are when you help me cute. I mean, also very pretty, but helpful!”

“...help me ‘cute’?” Naomi noticed, tilting her head slightly. Her large, bushel of hair sliding off her shoulders.

Kaito gave her a mildly bewildered look, entirely lost as to what she was talking about. “Help me cook?”

Namino snickered a little, shaking his head, “Not what you said.”

Kaito replayed what he had just said in his head, before turning a bit red, “Help me cook! That’s what I meant!”

“Great. Another one of ‘those’ couples.” Shigeru sighed, rolling his eyes a little as he leaned back into his chair, before giving Lake a pointed look, “Like we didn’t have enough of those already.”

“Who, Denji and Andro…Andro… Denji, please, help me out here.” Kaito said, giving Denji a sheepish look, “What’s her name again? Also, is she going to be stopping by later?”

Kokichi gave Kaito a similarly confused look at his slip, before snorting softly and giggling, giving his husband a fond look. It was very much a Kaito thing, even if it wasn’t an everyday occurrence, but one like that…now that was cute. 

Chuckling too, Lake gently nudged Kokichi with a fist, before giving Shigeru a good-natured roll of her eyes. “Hey, c’mon, being single isn’t that bad. That cute blond was very polite when she turned you down, man. I am glad that you didn’t do anything big enough to get you banned from the university too, though.”

“Andromeda,” Denji said plainly, though a slight smile started curling their lips just from saying their girlfriend’s lips. “And she said she might, even if it’s just to walk me back home. She’s spending most of the holiday with her sister. None of their other family live in Usott, so her schedule isn’t as packed as some people.”

Nazumi hummed, nodding to Kokichi as something alighted in her eyes. “Right, y’all said you were gonna hit the roadhouse later, yeah? Got any special songs in mind?”

Kaito gave Nazumi a slightly confused look. ‘Roadhouse’...? 

“Gah! Wh-who said it was!? I am a…” Shigeru huffed, combing his fingers through his hair to push the longer parts back, Kaito noting with amusement that the push also made the shorter side of his hair look more wild and unkept. Dicean hairstyles, man… “An eligible bachelor, which is the sexiest thing to be, obviously. Besides, I’m basically married to the art.”

“Married to arson?” Kaito clarified, looking to Lake curiously as he clarified, “You’re not allowed to burn random things in Dicea, right? That’s not a thing here?”

“It’s not~’ Namino giggled, answering on Lake’s behalf as he gave Kaito an amused look at that, “But Shigeru is really good at it!”

“At arson.” Kaito clarified.

“Yes! The fires never get out of control, no one ever gets burned, and the ash and soot left behind really can look super cool!” Namino gushed, shooting Shigeru a wide-eyed, adoring look, “Have you seen the burnt edges of the fencing around the warehouse district, the ones put up to keep people out of the down warehouses? I love the little swirls you got on those, Shigeru.”

Shigeru smirked, “Some of my best work this year, really… wait, unless you all haven’t caught me for that one yet. Then I simply admire the artist who did it, whoever they may be.” Shigeru said to Lake, sometimes having difficulty remembering which crimes he had gotten away with or not. 

Kaito hummed a bit at that, grabbing another roll and starting to break it apart with his hands. “...what about you, Namino?” Kaito asked, “Do any art stuff, or…?”

“As you’ve told me!” Lake laughed good-naturedly. And yet he hadn’t told her to stop being a wingman for him, or giving the occasional pep-talk before he went up to someone. They were just far enough apart in age that it’d just be weird to introduce Shigeru to any of her old exes, but Lake liked to think she had a good sense about people. Just turned out pyrotechnics weren’t the kind of excitement that woman was intrigued by. 

And despite the illegality of what Shigeru got up to…Namino was right--he was very good at it. Maybe that just meant the lessons never stuck, but he’d never been given an assault or negligence charge, thankfully never getting anyone hurt with his art. Lake couldn’t condone his work, but there was a reason they had become friends. 

“You were caught for that one,” Keigo said idly, leaning over to try one of the prince’s cookies. “I had to help you with the paperwork, since we applied for the fencing to stay up as an art piece. I think some of the stoners that took up in that empty factory have been sketching it.”

Kaito nodded slightly to himself. Right, the factory had been taken over by artists. He had forgotten about that. Still, he gave Namino his focus, still waiting for the other guy to answer his question.

“Uh, well!” Namino smiled brightly, “I’m a member of the university Volleyball team? Not as cool as art or as practical as business, which is what Keigo is currently doing! Keigo’s a Business Major, and he’s already getting such a name for himself that people are buying consulta–”

Kaito’s eyebrows went up, looking to Kokichi, “Oh, another sport big leaguer! ‘Kichi, you’re into volleyball, right? Ever see Namino’s team play?”

Kokichi gave Namino a sheepish grin. “No; I haven’t really been to many games of anything, even still. Even with Nadya-chan inviting us, we’ve just been so busy this year… Mostly I just watch people playing in the park. It’d be great to see you and the college team play, though! I think it’s always a lot of fun when you know a player. What position do you play?”

“He’s a wing spiker,” Keigo smirked, leaning slightly towards his brother, pride warming his voice. “You never know, considering all the newbies coming in during fall terms, but Namino could absolutely be the ace this next season. A great time to start coming to his games, if you want to see killer play, without the pro league prices.”

“Though in a few years, that’s where you’d see Namino anyway.”

Namino turned pink at that, shaking his head as he said, “Well, I mean, sure that’s the hope, but–”

“Awesome! That’s super cool!” Kaito grinned, beaming at Namino, “We keep meeting all these amazing sports people–”

“Athletes.” Naomi giggled quietly.

“Uh, yeah! Athletes! Kokichi, we have to start going to games! Miyako won’t mind if we take a few hours occasionally–” entirely incorrect, Kaito knew, as even now a small bell sound informed Kaito his daughter would quite like him to do something, now, immediately, thank you, “--to see a game, and I bet Tim would get a kick out of it! We’d be irresponsible parents to not go see a game! How will I be able to sign them up for sports if I don’t know how they’re played around here??”

Kokichi gave Kaito a fond look, hearing that familiar (but not as familiar as he’d like) sound of Kaito gassing someone up. It sounded like the triplets--...because they had to be, right?--could do that for each other just fine, but…it was always nice to hear it from a stranger too. 

“It would be fun to take Tim and the girls to some real games,” Kokichi said wistfully. “Miya’s still a little too young for those sorts of crowds, but I’d love to take her to games when she’s old enough.”

“Bring the whole crew out,” Lake laughed, “Make a huge banner and cheer so loudly for ya, Namino-ri, that you’ll have to steal that Jackal’s player’s schtick and make us all shut up so you can actually serve.”

Denji scoffed softly. “I think you’d only need to invite Maki and her father to make that kind of racket.”

Kaito gave Denji another curious look at that, “Mr. Nidai? I hope he hasn’t given you any trouble, Denji. Shuichi and Maki’s mentors can be kinda… intense personalities.” Kaito chuckled, “They don’t mean any harm though.” he lied.

Naomi couldn’t help but light up at the mental image Lake brought up, laughing excitedly at it, “I think that’d be fun! I’d be amped up with my own cheer squad! Play at 200%!”

“Hey, sorry to veer back to an earlier topic,” Shigeru said, looking to Kokichi, “Did I hear our very own prince is singing today?”

Denji lazily waved the notion away. “They’ve barely spoken to me, if I’m honest. But they don’t have to for me to know that Maki’s father’s default setting is louder than neon zebra stripe. 

Looking to Shigeru, Kokichi gave a short, sheepish chuckle. “Ah, I’m gonna try to, at least. I met someone recently that, we found out, has some mutual history with me. She had a friend, Amaina, that passed away, and I asked if I could honor her during Remembrance and…well…”

He chuckled a little more. “Miku-chan said she would’ve gotten a kick out of seeing me try to sing “Shun-ran”. I think more just laughing at people stumbling over the words than the song itself, but that’s part of the fun of it, I think. So I’m gonna give it a shot. I might request a drinking song for my uncle, too. Everyone gets so rowdy with ‘em, it’s the sort of thing he liked.”

Lake smiled softly at that. “Toshio always could rally a chorus, huh. If you end up going for it, maybe try something like “Moonshine Blind” or “Bink’s Sake”. Old man paid someone over at the old Swanne’s to play it, like, three times in a row, just extending the interlude to see when people would notice.”

Both Shigeru and Nasumi laughed at that, and Naomi put her hand up to her mouth with an amused look. Kaito guessed it was a well known song, as he popped another piece of bread into his mouth. Watching everyone curiously, trying to use context clues. So, the roadhouse was where you went to sing songs in the honor of the deceased. Kay, kay, cool, he was following. 

Naomi fidgeted a bit before saying, “It’s a little silly, but my professor used to reference that children's song that they teeth kids to learn the periodic table? I think it genuinely helped him to remember them, he’d hum it to himself in the middle of in-depth theory explanations. I kind of want to sing it for him, though I haven’t decided if I’m even going to any yet.”

“That’s really sweet,” Kokichi laughed softly. “If you end up going, absolutely do it! What was your professor’s field, if you don’t mind my asking? If it wasn’t chemistry, I can imagine having that song suddenly come up would be a hell of a segue.”

“Not even a segue at that point, really,” Denji mused, pinching off a bit of their roll. “More like a non-sequitter that wouldn’t even go anywhere, if it was just an aside during explanations of other things.”

Kokichi shrugged. “Semantics.”

Naomi smiled warmly, her eyes far away as she recalled, “He was a chemist, yes. But he also doubled as my high school’s two-dimensional arts teacher. Meaning he specialized in line-work and painting… it was a bit funny.” Naomi laughed a little, tucking her hair behind her ear a little, “He wasn’t actually very good at art. He learned everything there was to know about it, could teach it really well! …but couldn’t actually put any of that knowledge to practice. I always wondered why not. I felt like if someone had studied it that much, certainly all that knowledge would translate to a good final product, but… he just never really got the touch for it, in the end.”

“That’s a shame… did he enjoy painting?” Kaito asked, raising an eyebrow, “Or did he enjoy learning and teaching? Could be he just practiced more at that than painting because he valued that more.”

Naomi’s smile grew warmer, “That’s a nicer way of looking at it. No one was more ready to laugh at his own lack of skill then the Professor was though, if I sound mean saying he wasn’t very good at it. He knew. I used to try to defend him to other students who’d whisper that he couldn’t do the practices he was teaching, insisting he just had his own way of doing them, and he’d laugh and ask me to try the technique he was teaching… and when I was done he’d use it for the class as an example of what he meant, when he talked about the techniques. Said I had a talent for learning them quickly, and that even if he couldn’t do it himself, he got so much joy watching his students grasp the subject and do it how he intended for us to learn it… so, yes. Maybe that’s a better way of putting it. He was an exceptional teacher of the arts, and practiced that more than the arts themselves. For which I am very grateful… I learned a lot from him.”

“Nothing like a good teacher.” Namino sighed, his eyes lighting up as he said, “I think I feel that way about my high school coach too. I’m far from the best, but I kinda, ya know, well… outclassed him pretty early into his coaching of us. A lot of us did. But, I think it really says something, that so many of his students became such exceptional volleyballers, doesn’t it? He may not be a pro-athlete, but he makes pro-athletes. I don’t think I could teach the subject myself in any way that would be helpful, that takes its own sort of skill!”

Shigeru sighed, looking exasperated, “Teachers pets. I’m entirely self-taught, of course.”

“In arson.” Kaito pointed out.

“In arson, yes.” Shigeru smirked, “Hard to find a mentor for that sort of artwork.”

“What about you, Ke…” Kaito’s brain stuttered. Come on, come on, what was it… “Keigo?” When no one corrected him, he grinned brightly, “You’re a business major, your brother mentioned? Any teachers or mentors influence you to the path, or was it something you just found a personal passion for? Are you passionate about it? It’s alright if you’re not, business is a really practical degree honestly, whether you love it or not.”

“Still passing it all on too,” Nazumi grinned at her friend. “Don’t got a lotta words for the fine arts in the noggin’, past an impressed whistle, but how you describe some of your work… Your prof really knew what he was talkin’ ‘bout. I always think about the lightin’ tips you told me when I’m waterin’ the garden now.”

“I enjoy business, yes,” Keigo laughed lightly. “Our parents have a publishing company, so you could say it’s expected that I learned of the power of words early. I’m more interested in advertising and public relations than bookkeeping or profit trends, but they’re hand in hand for my degree.”

Tilting his head slightly, a smirked played on the eldest triplet’s lips. “I wouldn’t say he was actually an inspiration for the work I want to do, but…” Keigo nodded to his brothers. “Our old homeroom teacher, Mr. Le Blanc? He used to just straight up lie to us about consequences. Nothing that sketchy, but I always admired his chutzpah,” Keigo nodded fondly. “You do what you can against teenagers, I suppose.”

Kaito raised an eyebrow at that, “Okay, I’m so curious though. What does that mean? Lie about consequences?” Kaito asked, hoping for an example. 

“Hey, is anyone else drinking today?” Shigeru asked, glancing at his watch, “It’s still pretty early, honestly, but I think I want to pop open this champagne I’ve been holding onto all morning and have a glass. Anyone else want any?” he asked, getting up with a stretch before going to the kitchen, where he had dropped off the bottle. 

“What time is it?” Kaito asked, thinking about it… before shaking his head, “I’m alright, thanks.”

“I’ll have a glass, Shigeru.” Naomi called out to him, “If that’s alright?”

“It’s why I offered!” Shigeru called back.

“I’ll take one, thanks, Shiggy!” Lake hollered, leaning towards the kitchen, while Denji took a quieter approach, heading to the kitchen after the arsonist with their empty flute. 

With an amused grin, Keigo gave Kaito a nod. “Right before winter break, he told us that anyone who failed the mid-term would have to come to supplemental classes for the whole break. He was ex-Guardforce, and no one could quite call his bluff if he really could invoke truancy laws to actually make us. He taught an advanced math class too, and told us right at the beginning of the year that the person who did the worst on our breadth of knowledge exam would be rescheduled into a standard level class. Apparently that’s even happened before, but after we got our results back, he just said it was a ‘logical ruse’ to make sure we took it seriously and did our bests. He was a wild guy.”

“That would’ve driven me crazy, back in high school,” Nazumi shook her head. “Though I got called back even for the more reasonable teachers.”

Kaito chewed on his inner lip a little, before nodding. Throwing a lop-sided grin on his face as he said, “Sounds effective! Honestly, I’m sitting here wracking my brain for any good teacher stories, and I just can’t think of any. I mean, I had good teachers, don’t get me wrong. Just no stories that stand out as unusual, ya know?”

Kaito looked to Kokichi, his grin relaxing a little as he said, “Kokichi had a great teacher growing up, actually. I get a story about it every now and again, but your education always seemed top-notch to me, ‘Kichi. Was it always just Hideki, or did he ever bring in anyone else for supplemental lessons, anything like that?”

Shigeru gave Denji a small nod, before carefully popping open the campaign bottle. Giving Denji’s glass a pour, peering at him… “Have you ever considered burning the very ends of your hair? I always thought that would be an interesting look. Do you think it’d be possible without the hair just breaking away immediately?”

Kokichi gave Kaito a brief worried look. Kaito…did have some stories about “teachers” who straight up lied to him, wanting to “see his best”...but those weren’t stories worth fondly reminiscing about. Keigo’s old teacher sounded like someone who caused a lot of stress for students, but…at least it sounded like the lie eventually was revealed. 

Chuckling softly, Kokichi nodded. “Well, I mean Toshio-ji was there a lot, and not just to hang out. He taught me everything I know about Tradean, and while I don’t do his lessons justice, he taught me geography a lot of the time too. But…yeah. If we were getting into a specific subject he didn’t know well, or I just had a lot of questions about something, Hideki-ji would ask someone to come give me a lesson. Or, at the very least, we’d write a letter together to an expert, so I could ask my questions and learn about reaching out to people at the same time. Hideki-ji was very about multi-purpose lessons.”

“Yeah he is,” Lake sighed, tousling her hair. Explaining for the benefit of Naomi and the triplets, she said, “I went to public school, mostly, so Sec-Deki was never, like, my personal tutor unless I asked him for homework help, but whenever I got in trouble? He always made me do the most boring survey work as punishment. Or carry document boxes, which, yanno, was at least a good workout.”

Taking a sip of the champagne, Denji hummed with a nod. “It’s beyond possible into just the way it’s done, for certain styles with extremely curly hair. Though I’m afraid it’s not so much for the look. If you’re going for ‘singed’, then dip-dying the ends would be the only way to actually make the black and browns show up.”

“Gooot it, got it,” Shigeru said, considering the new piece of information as he went to pour Lake a glass too, along with one for himself.

Bringing out the glasses, the arsonist listened to Lake’s explanation, raising his eyebrows a little, “I can’t imagine you doing any sort of paperwork, Lake. Honestly I can barely imagine you in a classroom. Did you ever get into trouble for working out during class? Because that’s what I can imagine you doing.”

“I mean, not for working out,” Lake laughed, though there was a note of sheepishness in it. “And hey! I did alright--I did graduate, anyway. Thankfully I’d known for years I wanted to join the guardforce, so I was able to take a lot of outdoor classes. A lot easier to stomach subjects when they’re about, like…judging how differently carriages move in the rain, or historic arrests that changed laws. Sure, still didn’t ace everything even then…but I’d say I’m doin’ alright.”

With a small sigh, Nazumi gave Lake a fond, yet long-suffering look. “You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for, Lake. Tests are only one measure, after all.”

“Right!” Kokichi piped up, nodding emphatically. While it wasn’t his job to dictate how schools chose to teach, the measurement of intelligence was still something he was passionate about. “I know schools really try to accommodate for many more ways of learning these days, but they still don’t cover everything.”

“Sheesh, guys, I wasn’t fishing for compliments here!” Lake laughed. “But thanks.”

Kaito chuckled at Lake’s embarrassment. There were far worse ways to get flustered than a barrage of encouraging compliments. He glanced at Nazumi, and almost thought to ask what her school experience had been like… before it occurred to him to wonder if she had ever even finished school. Probably. He imagined part of her rehabilitation had been continuing her education. Kaito wondered if that had been an option back at home? It made sense to him, he had to imagine it would have made sense to policy makers back in Luminary.

The atmosphere was light and easy, but Kaito still found himself fussing with making sure his bread was in tiny pieces before he ate a piece. It helped to keep his hands busy. Helped with what he wasn’t even entirely sure. He wouldn’t call what he was feeling right now’ anxious’. Maybe more just wary. He felt like things were going well and had this vague idea in the back of his head that he didn’t want to mess that up. 

He kept thinking about the last time he had been in public while he was actively grieving.

But that wasn’t fair. He hadn’t been grieving when it was happening, not really. He had just rapidly started grieving after hearing Budd’s words. Kickstarted grieving. Grief and rage washing over him so rapidly and intensely that Kaito had barely been conscious of himself. He had wanted to murder Budd. Not maim, not get an apology. He had just wanted the man dead. 

Kaito blinked, a sudden memory coming back to him of the guardsman he had told that too. His absolutely baffled look when Kaito had explained himself… and Kaito couldn’t help but suddenly snicker to himself. Hiding his amused laugh behind eating another piece of bread, trying to play it off like he had been laughing at what Lake had said. Seriously, in retrospect, the look on that guys face had been really funny. What had he said? Something about ‘Murder being illegal’. ‘I didn’t think I’d have to tell you murder was illegal’? Something like that. Geez… in retrospect, he’d honestly pay gold to know what the guardsman train of thought had been. Kaito wondered if the man had thought Kaito as a prince wouldn’t know that, or if Luminary didn’t have laws around murder, or what… maybe he was being sarcastic? Aw, that wasn’t as much fun, if the guy was being sarcastic. He had seemed so sincere.

“You seem in a good mood, Kaito.” Naomi said softly to Kaito.

Kaito laughed again, before giving Naomi a somewhat sheepish grin, “Oh, I’m just… we don’t get out much. New parents. I guess I’m just a little giddy to be out and about. Sorry, have we… met before?”

Naomi quickly shook her head, “No, no, not at all. I’ve just seen you a handful of times. You always struck me as somewhat of a serious temperament though. It’s nice to see you relaxed.”

“I did?” Kaito asked, thinking about it… before shrugging, “I can have a resting bitch face, sometimes. My eyebrows naturally furrow, see?” Kaito said, relaxing his face and pointing to his eyebrows, which had dipped low, “Probably just had my head in the clouds and looked more deep in thought then I was. I daydream a lot, kind of tough to control my expressions when I do. I’m sorry I never noticed you, you should say hi if you see me again.”

It was one of the more unconventional Remembrance gatherings Kokichi had been to. It wasn’t like Keita’s funeral, people coming up to share stories, one after another, and it wasn’t like making offerings to shrines, and it wasn’t like suggesting song after song laughing and crying in turn. It was just…existing together. Sharing stories when it came up, but…giving more space than people usually did on Remembrance. Kokichi couldn’t say he didn’t like it. 

Kokichi gave Kaito a glance as he laughed, smiling slightly as he started a conversation with Naomi, but his attention shifted as Keigo leaned towards him. “You don’t have to humor me, but I am curious, Prince Kokichi… That was quite the campaign against Ms. MacAvoy, earlier this summer. Dr. Kimura isn’t really the type to, but I had half a mind to urge her to reach out to the papers herself, if, I’m assuming, you hadn’t already. I only handle the front of the pharmacy, but everything that happened…”

Kokichi sighed, nodding at the twisted expression Keigo gave. “Yeah. Actually, though, it was my husband that reached out to the papers. I wasn’t…really in a place to think about much, long-term, after my attack.”

“Sorry to be blunt about it, but I heard you were in a coma for a few weeks after it happened.” Shigeru said, settling in and sipping at his champaign bottle. Speaking loudly enough that Kaito glanced over from his conversation with Naomi, having missed everything said up until that point. “People were really concerned. There was even people saying you weren’t going to wake up at all–”

“Stupid rumors.” Kaito said with a frown, “Kokichi was always going to wake up. He just needed the rest, that’s all.”

Shigeru nodded, like it was a matter of course, before shrugging. “Sure, that’s obvious now. But in the moment? No one could know that. Scary times.”

Namino saw the somewhat frustrated look that came over Kaito’s face at that, before saying, “Of course, everyone was rooting for you, Kokichi. Optimistically we all hoped you would be okay, and it was a relief when word started to spread you woke up. Still, I couldn’t believe the papers when word got out exactly what happened. What a horrible person…”

“I always wonder, about people like that… I don’t want to play devils advocate, but I do hope she’s seen a psychiatrist since everythings happened.” Naomi admitted, putting her palms together and rubbing her thumbs nervously up and down each other, “To do something like that, something has to be unwell in you, I’d think. Something you’d need outside help with.”

Nazumi gave Kokichi a sympathetic nod. “It’d been a long time since we’ve seen ya that bad, pumpkin. Was sweet of yer friends to garden up your room, though.”

Laughing softly, Kokichi explained to the group. “They brought in…I dunno, maybe thirty different pots and vases and…whatever, of flowers? It was really something to wake up to, I’ll tell ya.”

“Obviously Dr. Kimura doesn’t broadcast what her patients are going through,” Keigo gestured a hand, “But I did learn a lot about the surprising amount coma patients are actually aware of. No surprise, considering, but it’s nice to hear your family and friends were taking good care of you.”

Sitting back with a sigh, Lake gave a hum of agreement to Naomi. “It’s kind of crazy how much ego can get out of control like that. Yeah, those folks need help to, yanno, not be the worst, but hearing about how she plead her case… Mega yikes.”

“Think red flags like that would be easier to see upfront,” Nazumi frowned.

Kaito grinned wryly at his almost entirely debilitated bread roll now. “Well, if the guy whose supposed to be looking out for you freaking calls you lazy and hysterical for getting nervous about the obviously stupid and dangerous procedures…”

Naomi gave Kaito a startled look at that. “Did someone do that?”

“...not in so many words.” Kaito muttered, before looking to Lake. Hesitating for a second, glancing at Kokichi… Kaito had heard almost nothing about what had happened to Cedar, after everything. He knew bits and pieces, but Kokichi hadn’t wanted to know anything at all, so no one talked about it around them. He wanted to know what Cedar had argued in the courtroom, but… “We’re supposed to be remembering people who are worth remembering today, right? Fuck Cedar. I hope she’s having a shitty day. That’s all that’s worth saying about her.”

“Damn. Though, I suppose it’s fair enough that you hate her.” Shigeru said, shrugging a little. 

Denji narrowed their eyes a little at Kaito, though they only took a sip of champagne. From how Kokichi had told the story, it was true that Kaito had encouraged him to keep the treatments up…but it wasn’t as brow beating as Kaito was making it out to be now. And they knew how poorly both their brother and brother-in-law tended to paint themselves. In the same stroke, Nazumi could be a little quirky, but she wasn’t an idiot.

The fact was…yeah, manipulators didn’t have to be evil geniuses, always ten steps ahead. But it wasn’t all always just luck, and a skilled scam artist could do a lot in the space left between people wanting to give the benefit of the doubt, and knowledge past a person’s sphere. 

Still… Getting Kokichi to brush his hair and eat better? Denji was all on board the Kaito nagging caravan. Bullying their brother past that? Maybe they were falling into that same trap, but Denji was willing to bet that Kaito knew better by now, with all the therapy they’d been going to. 

“Honestly? You’re right,” Lake scoffed, rolling her eyes a little. “Some folks aren’t worth the breath today.”

“Apologies for bringing it up,” Keigo said lightly. “Though…it seems you’re quite the busy man, Prince Kaito. I suppose I should be thanking you that I had the chance to get my job at the pharmacy. Dr. Kimura always seems so flustered after your business check-ins.”

Kaito gave Keigo a mildly startled look at that… before scratching at his chin a little, something mildly embarrassed in his expression as he nodded, “Oh, well… I mean, like I’ll tell anyone that asks, Dr. Kimura’s practice is worth every copper. What she and your team have done for my family is immeasurable, I only wish I could do more for her business.”

He didn’t want to say that he only did those check-ins because his fiance would actually, probably lose his temper on Kaito if he didn’t check in on what Seiko was using those funds for every now and again. For being the one who benefited the most from her help, Shuichi had a deep distrust of the woman that, while it was less hostile now then when Kaito had first had to insist Seiko remain their primary care physician, had still never entirely gone away. Kaito understood why, but it didn’t change the fact that Seiko was invaluable to them. 

Otherwise, those business meetings were a little funny, from an outsider perspective.  A flustered and nervous Seiko trying for an hour to justify everything she had been using the funding for to an equally flustered and uncertain Kaito, who kept doing his best to try to understand her explanations without giving away how little of the terminology he understood. He knew she had bought some sort of machine this last month for… well, it was supposed to be kind of like x-rays, but insisted was not x-rays when Kaito had tried to summarize it as a machine that did x-rays. Dr. Kimura going into a long explanation of what it actually did that Kaito had eventually sorta just let wash over him. Right, right, blood flow and blood pressure and heat maps and…a… a muscle x-ray machine? Was that– oh, no, not really? Oh, okay… no, nope, he got it! Totally understood! Will it help with your research?? Okay, cool! Approved!

At the end of the day, Kaito had decided to put his faith in Seiko as an expert, and even if he didn’t always understand what she was doing, he had to trust that his faith wasn’t being misplaced. If he understood all of this stuff himself, he wouldn’t need to rely on an expert. Sure, Seiko had fucked up a dozen times in caring for his partners, but she had also literally saved their lives a dozen times too. Add everything up and she was still a net positive. A positive that his family frequently found themselves needing.

Was he busy? Kaito didn’t feel busy. Mailing all those letters hadn’t taken that long. Only a few weeks, really. Checking in on Seiko and sending her the funds didn’t take a lot of time either. Kaito supposed it all seemed like a lot more than it was from the outside looking in. He grinned at Keigo, shrugging as he said, “I am kind of busy, but honestly, it’s mostly with diapers. Miyako’s a full time job, I’ll tell ya. We’re lucky to have so much support raising her, I can’t imagine how someone does it alone… oh!”

Kaito’s eyebrows shot up, shooting Nazumi and Lake a look. Right… they hadn’t asked yet… well, today probably wasn’t actually the day to bring that up…

“What a magnanimous response,” Keigo smirked, shaking his head a little. “From how Dr. Kimura tells it, you and your family completely changed her life. There are always more things to do, but without getting absurd I’m not sure how much more you could do for her business that you haven’t already done.”

Kokichi smiled softly. Between financial backing, their implicit advertising by keeping her on as their doctor, and recommending her to be featured in a brand new section of the paper, specifically for highlighting individuals’ achievements? …yeah, they’d already done a lot. And…all mostly because Kaito had urged him to reconnect with an old doctor he had been too scared to talk to. 

…sure, she and Shuuichi had connected aside from that, but…Kokichi wasn’t so sure they would’ve let her keep treating Shuuichi after the cat was out of the bag if Kaito hadn’t encouraged him to vouch for her. 

Perking in confusion as Kaito looked to them, right after talking about being a new parent, Lake chuckled a bit. “Hey, what’s that look for, Kai-guy? I promise, we’re not keepin’ any secret children from you. Oh, but we are still up for baby-sitting! Can’t have Ikuo having all the fun.”

“Ah, I know you two can go on for hours, so maybe I shouldn’t open the box… But your daughter seems to be handling clothes very well,” Denji hummed. “She’s able to recognize and reach out to you all in particular too, right?”

“Magna…?” Kaito would ask Kokichi later if he knew what that word meant, but getting the context clues he blushed slightly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Well, like I said. She’s invaluable. If we’ve done everything we can do, it’s still the least that she deserves.”

Kaito’s brow furrowed at Lake’s declaration. “Uh… yeah. Yeah, babysitting would be really helpful actually, Lake… really helpful, if you don’t mind me asking you about it later.” 

That was… a good idea actually. Actually, yeah, maybe he should ask Nazumi and Lake to watch Miyako one day? Or even ask for their help watching her, go out to a… to anything, a park or whatever, just watch how they handled her. Probably couldn’t tell Kokichi that was what he was doing, Kokichi was convinced they’d make good parents, but seeing them in action would relieve a lot of Kaito’s own personal fears with them. Lake and Nazumi weren’t rich and they weren’t highly influential or high-statused hell, having them as parents would actually probably be a blow to Miyako, rumor and status wise. Their number one appeal was that they were local, established, kind, and, well… Kokichi loved them. That was really just the main one.

But if they’d make good caretakers in all of their absence? Kaito wouldn’t let himself worry about the rest of it. Miyako needed love… and patience. And actually probably a decently firm hand, someday, his daughter had crazy powerful superpowers and it was reeaaaallly important she learn how to be responsible with other people…

“Oh yeah, she reaches out alright.” Kaito said absentmindedly, thinking of her tethering… before talks of her clothes and little baby achievements finally got him out of his head, looking brightly at Denji as he nodded enthusiastically, “She’s so smart! No, but like, really. She’s so smart! And she’s so calm with her little baby clothes, she’s so patient with socks and putting on little buttons and dad coo’ing over how beautiful and adorable she looks. And she knows, I know she knows how fucking beautiful she is, she’s gotta, sometimes I’ll be a little cross with her and she’ll give me these big, beautiful golden eyes and I just melt, she absolutely knows what she’s doing, I am such a sucker, and–”

Kaito had to stop, covering his face and digging his palms into his eyes as he got flustered, thinking over how adorable his little baby was. Gah! It wasn’t fair! She looked so much like Shuichi and Kokichi, at least to Kaito. He could just see them all the time in her little baby expressions. Kokichi’s beaming smile and happy wiggles when she was excited over something, Shuichi’s sweet, calm gaze when she was sleepy and full of delicious food, and yes, Kokichi’s pout when she was annoyed and Shuichi’s distinctly unimpressed look when she really couldn’t be bothered by whatever Kaito was trying to do or say to her. God, this kid was going to walk all over Kaito, if he wasn’t careful. He just loved her so much.

“Yeah, of course!” Lake boomed with an equally bright smile, puffing her chest out a bit. “Miyako’s a hoot and a joy--we’d love to keep an eye on her.”

Nazumi had nodded to that, but she could only chuckle as Kaito went off on his own adoring tangent, giving a nod to the amused triplets. “You’ve really taken to parenthood like climbing vine. Though, Miss Miya’s charming in her own right t’ meetcha halfway on that.”

“She is,” Kokichi grinned adoringly. “Though she varies from not caring in the slightest to being displeased with strangers, if she’s willing to engage? She’s very sweet. Shuu-chan and Maki-chan said that they’d have her handled today, so there’s no rush for us to get back home…but I’m gonna be happy to tell her all about today later. I think she just likes the tone of my voice, but she does seem to like listening to us tell her stories.”

It was a little more than that, often enough, since Kokichi tried to convey more than just what words could do not just for his own stories, but whenever he was around to “translate” for his partners too. But…she did seem to like their voices too. If just from association. 

Kaito gave Kokichi an openly adoring look at that, as he bragged, “Kokichi is so good with her, guys. She gets so calm when he talks to her, it’s seriously a life saver sometimes. She’ll get all pissed off and fussy and then daddy comes around and chats with her a bit and suddenly she’s the sweetest little thing again.”

“Sometimes I think I wouldn’t really have the temperament for children, myself.” Naomi admitted, smiling lightly with a shrug, “Like you said, Kaito, they really are a full time job. Perhaps it’s selfish, but I think I’d miss being able to devote so much of my time to my craft.”

“Hm? I don’t think that’s selfish?” Kaito said, giving Naomi a mildly confused look, “I’m just, like, really into the parent thing. The only thing I gave up to devote myself to it was being a wild child, and honestly, I had probably already given that up the second I married Kokichi.” Kaito confessed, reaching over to run his fingers along Kokichi’s leg a bit, squeezing at his knee as he said sheepishly, “Poor Kokichi only had to deal with a pre-Dicea Kaito for, like, a little bit, and I think I gave my poor husband here whiplash with how over the top I’d randomly get. Definitely wasn’t something I could do long term. Now I’m full ‘dad-guy’. Just need, like… dad jokes. I don’t know enough dad jokes, I’m really falling behind in that category.”

“Actually, I’ve been curious to ask a little about Luminary, Kaito.” Shigeru said, crossing his arms as he tapped at his champaign glass a bit, “For being at was for fifteen years, I feel like I really only know the basics about Luminary, and honestly, some of it might not even be true… is it true you guys are a desert?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. Yep.” Kaito nodded, “Pretty hot there. Except at night. Gets pretty cold at night.”

“So… big, rolling hills of sand then?” Shigeru asked, “Because someone told me that wasn’t the case, and I’d really love to confirm it with someone who’s actually from Luminary that there’s sand all over the–”

“Oh, no. No, sorry, you’re going to lose that bet if that’s what you’re hoping for.” Kaito said, chuckling lightly, “That’s a different type of desert. I mean, we have sands, but I know what you’re talking about, like, somewhere with miles and miles of sand as the flooring? No, that’s not us. Think more like, uh…” Kaito tried to think of a comparison Diceans would be used too, “...like, a dirt path at the height of summer, that’s been left out in the sun all summer? Sort of cacked hard and dry with little cracks running through it, feels almost like a rock? That type of desert.”

“...well, shoot.” Shigeru muttered, “Now I feel like an idiot how hard I argued with her about it. I was sure someone had told me it was covered in sand.”

Kokichi flushed a bit, feeling flattered, even if Kaito praising his parenting skills wasn’t a surprise at this point. He just…wanted to do right by their daughter. Give her a childhood she could both look back on with a smile, and not have to spend years unpacking trauma from. 

“It is the imagery we typically associate with the word ‘desert’,” Keigo shrugged. “Though sand deserts are only one type. It does sound like the same sort of weather, however.”

“I still can’t conceptualize the ‘dry heat’ you talk about,” Denji shook their head. “I feel like we’ll soon be seeing people weigh if the extra 20 or 30 degrees would be worth fleeing to Luminary for the summer to escape the humidity. It just might be, since your buildings are prepared to stave it off better than ours too.”

Kokichi chuckled softly. “I could see people snowbirding for the winter too. It’s certainly gonna be a juicy tourism target to start advertising.”

Kaito’s eyes lit up at that, “Really? You guys think so? If there was a big demand to be able to go back and forth, there’d probably be more development on cross-country travel projects…”

Namino gave Kaito a curious look at that… before smiling slightly, “You miss home, huh?”

Kaito startled at that a little… before sheepishly nodding, “I mean, of course. It’s been about… a year and a half since I left the place I grew up in, if not Luminary itself. It took a whole six months to even get here.” Kaito sighed, suddenly looking a little tired as thought back on that trip, “We took the longest, most out of the way path possible, and were moving at a snails pace on top of that. I was getting homesick long before I got here. But, like… that’s normal, ya know? I think anyone would feel the same way. You don’t even have to move to a whole different country, I’d think, I’m sure a few of you guys probably just miss the town you grew up in.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a soft look. He didn’t feel as guilty, these days, for “ripping” Kaito away from his home. The marriage hadn’t been something either of them had a choice about, and…while there could’ve been smarter ways to approach it, if at all, Kokichi couldn’t quite blame his father for asking for a political marriage. 

There wasn’t some great evil here…but Kaito was still away from his home. They would make it back for a visit some day, but it wouldn’t be the same. Kokichi could just hope to listen to Kaito talk about Luminary, and do his best to honor it where they could.

As Kaito compared his homesickness, though…Lake and Nazumi shared a look before Lake shrugged a little with a small, sheepish grin. “I came to Usott when I was still a kid; think that made it easier for me.”

“I was born here,” Denji shrugged, while Keigo nodded after them. 

“Us as well. Our parents live in the suburbs, but we could still walk to our old neighborhood if we wanted to. Well,” he smirked, “Old for some of us.”

Kaito gave all of them a dry look at that. “Seriously? Man, I need to find someone to lament with who literally hasn’t spent their whole life in one place. I mean, Shuichi and Maki– the two people I came here with–” Kaito filled in for the triplets, “Are really determined to not be homesick. At least not with me, so I gotta give them more time with that before they’re ready to admit there’s things they miss. And man, my kid! My other kid, Timothy, he’s ten, just turned ten,” Kaito said, something lighting up in his face again as he started to explain his son a bit, “Honestly, I’m astounded at how well he’s doing. He’s such a trooper, he’s been so unphased with everything. I mean, he had a moment when we first got here, but he’s just a kid, it was really understandable when you got into it… I ask him if he misses home every now and again and he just shrugs. Totally unconcerned. Maybe it’s just easier when you’re younger like that.”

“Mind you, it’s pretty fair that so many of you haven’t left Usott.” Kaito mused, giving everyone an earnest look as he said, “Your home is really amazing. It’s very beautiful here. I feel like every time I go out I see something new to appreciate.”

“Ha. You make traveling sound both really sad and really fun, you know that?” Namino said, shrugging a little sheepishly as he said, “I still live in literally the same mattress that I’ve had since I was fourteen. And honestly, I still don’t really see anything appealing in moving out. I like living at home, and I think it’d make our parents a little sad to have the last of their babies go…”

Naomi put her finger to her lip, before saying uncertainly, “...doesn’t Shigeru still live at home with you too? I could have sworn I saw you both walk home together before.”

“I built my own home.” Shigeru huffed, squaring his shoulders, “... when I was fifteen. With my dad. Our parents have this patch of woodland behind their house, we built a treehouse a long time ago…”

“You're an arsonist living in a tree house?” Kaito said, his face carefully neutral, though there was a small twitch in his lips at that one.

“Which I have now decked out. A perfect bachelor pad.” Shigeru said, smirking with entirely unabashed pride, “Has everything you need. Seriously, calling it a ‘tree house’ severely undersells it. It’s a self made home. And it gives me all the space in the world to practice my craft in the fields.”

“Your craft being your art… of arson.” Kaito said.

“It’s actually really cool what Shig’s done with it.” Namino said brightly, “It’s even got plumbing! Which, honestly, is where I thought he was going to give up on it~”

Denji shrugged, giving Kaito a half-dry look. “Most of the reasons people have to move are for school or work. If you’re already born in a hub of both, which Usott is, there isn’t much reason to leave beyond vacations.”

“Depends on the type of folk, really,” Nazumi hummed. “But unless you’re really itchin’ to start farmlife, big cities tend to be the place folks end up. It’s a good place to have a family, too.”

Chuckling softly, Keigo tilted his head back a little, looking at Shigeru. “It definitely is more than a few boards of plywood nailed together. And yet…Mom still cooks most your meals for you. But it is less ironic for you to keep off ‘poisoning’ from your cause of death than ‘long term smoke inhalation’.”

Kokichi rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “As someone who also has someone else cooking all their meals? I get it. As much as grand adventure seems exciting…I really like home.”

“You literally live in the castle,” Denji frowned. “That’s not comparable.”

Kaito snorted a little, giving Denji a slightly amused look, “I agree, it isn’t comparable, but I bet I agree for entirely different reasons than you said it. I’m so curious to hear your thought process.”

“The castle operates on a large scale, that would continue at the same quantity and capacity regardless of whether Kokichi, or you and I, for that matter, are there or not,” Denji explained, gesturing gently with their champagne flute. “And with Ikuo being the exception…no one on the maintenance staff is our parents. It’s less of a social tie keeping us together in care, and more of a contractual one.”

Raising an eyebrow, Denji gave a nod to the triplets. “For example…I sincerely doubt either of you are paying your mom for meals.”

Keigo snorted softly.

Kaito raised a small eyebrow at that. Huh, maybe a small little peek at one of the places Kokichi got that from… or maybe not. Denji wasn’t really that much older than Kokichi. “Okay, sure… but how does that equal Kokichi preferring to stay home, rather than throw himself out into the wilds of travel? Not that you don’t or can’t travel, babe.” Kaito said quickly, shooting Kokichi a stern look, “Not moving anywhere else doesn’t mean you’re not gonna get the chance to see the world. Living there long term isn’t a requirement.”

Turning back to Denji, he said, “Kokichi, and you, for that matter, have family here. People who’d miss you when you were gone, whether they’re still making food for other people or not. Also, if the triplets left home, I seriously doubt meals would just… stop happening. Parents don’t just stop functioning when their kids leave anyway… what’s your point?”

Denji gave Kaito a long look before letting out an extended sigh. “My point, I see now, was that we were making two different points.”

“I was saying that, yes, friends and family included, living at home is still different from living in what amounts to a very historical hotel,” the stylist tried to explain, “I wasn’t making a point about leaving. While I realize you do, time to time, Kaito, it doesn’t make sense for most of us who live at the castle to take up cooking our own meals, let alone to even entertain the thought of making food for the whole “household”. Honestly, we would probably be pulled into a very annoying contractual battle if we tried. For someone living in a smaller, non-industrialized household? It does. It’s a difference in scale, I was trying to say.” 

Kaito smiled wanly at that, nodding with new understanding, “Oh, okay. Sorry, I totally misunderstood you, I thought you were suggesting that staying home for Kokichi doesn’t mean the same thing it would for anyone else. Like a castle doesn’t count as a ‘childhood home’. Yeah, you’re right, Kokichi doesn’t have any real reason to learn how to cook. I only did it cause…”

Kaito had almost been about to casually explain he had genuinely believed that castle was starving Kokichi in a pointed display of neglect, allowing Kokichi to starve himself over and over again because the kitchen refused to accommodate for him… but wow explaining he had believed that once was loaded. That was a loaded conversation for a room of basically strangers to Kaito, in front of his husband. Ooooookay, what was he actually going to say then….

Kaito’s brain stuttered for a second, before filling in, “...I was hoping to endear myself to him when we’d get into fights, occasionally. Like, ya know… making pastries for loved ones is cute, right? Hey, babe, I love you, here’s some cookies, please forgive me for being a dumbass again… just a sort of ‘couple’ thing for me, me trying to be romantic in my own clumsy way. Not me trying to replace the kitchen staff or anything like that.”

Shigeru raised an eyebrow, “Okay, but now I’m curious. You said you’d agree the castle isn’t comparable but for different reasons than you thought Denji said it. If you thought they were talking about not being a suitable home, then why do you think it’s not comparable?”

Kaito shrugged, grabbing a cookie they had made, reminded of them from all this talk, “Actually, Denji basically already said it. It’s less a ‘castle’ and more an old hotel. I know it’s technically a castle, but if there’s an argument to be made that Kokichi shouldn’t leave because there’s nothing cooler out there to see then your very own castle, then, nooooot really. At least as far as ‘castles’ go. Lots of cool ones to see out there.”

Nazumi let out a laugh, leaning forward with a beaming grin. “Aw, ain’t that the sweetest! You know, Kokichi told me about how you made him an’ Shuu’chi cinnamon rolls the first time? All just ‘cause you knew they were his favorites. Couldn’t point ya anyone else makin’ cinnamon rolls as some of their first recipes--dunno what says love more than that!”

Lake knew it was…a little more complicated than that, given some of the complaints she’d heard from the kitchen staff the first few months Kaito was in Usott, and so, naturally Nazumi knew that too… But it was a sweet story to go with an effort in love, and they didn’t have to get into more difficult conversations. Not today. 

For his part, Kokichi gave Kaito a soft look before snorting, rolling his eyes a little as he dug into a roll. “I mean…and there’s a lot more than castles to see out in the world too. Even if it’s different than a lot of people’s, the castle is still my home, and I can’t really imagine moving anywhere else…but there’s a whole world out there! I don’t need to decide to change my address to see it.”

“...though travel is kind of in a ‘one day’ area right now,” Kokichi shrugged with a small grin. “Miya-Miya seems happy with our walks, but it’s still gonna be a ways out before she’s ready for a trip that needs more than a bit of walking. And even just going to Corbra last week made me miss her too much. But still…one day.”

Kaito flushed in pleased embarrassment as Nazumi’s compliment. Yeah, he liked to think it was one of his better ideas. Kokichi might not need Kaito to literally just shove his favorite foods in his face to stop slowly starving to death, but Kaito still loved watching Kokichi eat something Kaito had made him. It was awesome, watching the sheer joy that could cross Kokichi’s face, tasting something delicious. And his husband always seemed so pleased with his effort, regardless if it came out delicious anyway.

“We have time, beautiful.” Kaito promised Kokichi, giving him a warm look, “We don’t need to get it all done at once. Speaking of snow-birding, we have to go see Novis in the winter someday. Not the summer though, your uncle said it’s literally boiling around this time there, but I bet late fall? It’s probably amazing.”

“I have a question about Luminary!” Namino said, shooting up his hands excitedly. Kaito gave him a small, amused look at that, before making a point to look around, like he was trying to decide who he was going to call on next in a classroom… before nodding encouragingly to Namino, “What kind of sports do you guys have?”

“Ya know, this is going to sound so weird, cause, like… I know what I look like.” Kaito said, looking down at his muscled body, “But if you’re about to ask me a bunch of in detail questions about any of the sports, I’m not gonna be a lot of help. Unless I dated someone doing the sport, I barely paid attention to any sports, beyond playing a few casual games where someone else was keeping track of the rules. My friend Maki-roll is the real sport nut, among us. But, that said, um… jousting. Fencing, obviously.” Kaito said, thinking about it, “Swimming, actually, probably more swim teams then you’d believe. They caught on fire, heh, from us watching Novoselic games, and they’re such good ways to exercise that having swimming lanes and competitions became really popular among the elites and the prestigious schools. Total waste of water, honestly, but it was all salt water with just a shit ton of chemicals dumped into it anyway…well, most of the time. I knew a few elite families who had private pools with actual drinking water in it.” Kaito admitted, looking a little ashamed of that. “Said it was easier to keep clean, smelled less… uh, anyway. Jousting, fencing, swimming, oh! Wrestling! Wrestling of course, um, Obstacle Course lanes… actually none of that is sports teams, is it. Uh…dodgeball, lacrosse… pit fighting, basketball. Do you guys have basketball?”

Shigeru spun his finger counter-clockwise, “Rewind. Pit fighting?”

“Yeah, teams of people fighting each other in pits? Like more intense spar-fighting?” Kaito said. Cupping his hand into a small bowl as he explained, “You have teams of three, usually, and you have this pit full of obstacles and cover, and the teams all use sparring rules to fight with the other teams until there’s only one team left standing. There’s some variations to it, like capturing each others flags and stuff rather than knockout fights, mostly used for kids and stuff. But professional games? Basically you just keep fighting till someone’s down or a spotter calls it.” 

Nasumi gaped at him, “Wow! Uh… is that an underground thing, or…”

Kaito shook his head, “No, it was another sport thing. My university had a Pit Fighting department of a few different teams. They’d all face against each other until the best team was picked to go to represent us at nationals. My highschool had a pit fighting club too. Last I heard one of them went pro.”

Kokichi chuckled softly. It could be nice to get one more burst of warmth before the snow hit, sometime. Or maybe avoid the snow altogether, though…he thought he might feel similarly to Hina on that. He couldn’t imagine it ever really feeling like winter without seeing snow. But it could be interesting to try out one year. 

As Kaito went on to talk about the sport scene in Luminary, Kokichi found himself intrigued. They…swam in salt water? Kokichi really didn’t know enough to say anything, but…something struck him as… Wouldn’t it be kinda bad for your skin, being in salt water all the time? He supposed that might be what the chemicals were for, though. 

Obstacle courses were a bit novel, but Kokichi had at least heard of them before, professional dodgeball teams was interesting, but he really had to agree--

Pit fighting???

Kokichi’s eyebrows went up in surprise, as Keigo tilted his head a bit. “So…like MMA matches in a paintball arena, but in the ground. That’s certainly unique, from our culture, anyway…”

“For the spectacle, definitely,” Lake nodded, before huffing. “...shoot, I know we have some crazy, elaborated MMA sport here too, but I can’t for the life of me remember… I think some dojo regulars were talking about it, a while back. That sounds like a hell of a sport, though, Kaito. The kind of matches that really get your heart pumping!”

Kaito shrugged, a little pleased at the generally positive reception to the sport– just in a general ‘happy his home had something other people found interesting’ kind of way– before confessing, “I didn’t go see a bunch of games myself. Again, not really a sports guy. I used to play the kid/flag version back when I was tyke, but, like, literally everyone did, those were a lot of fun. And I even convinced my brother and cousin once to join in!” Kaito said, eyes lighting up from that memory. “That was great. So much fun. We were playing other noble kids too, so they didn’t even let us win right away or anything! I think we held our own pretty well!”

Looking to Lake, Kaito’s eyebrows raised slightly, “Really? I’ll be honest, I’m surprised. I don’t know what ‘MMA’ means, but from context I think you mean a type of sparring? You guys have sparring sports?”

It was hidden, between the sunglasses and the hat, but Keigo raised his eyebrows a bit. Well…he supposed it would be a bit ignoble to throw games, but that was a strange distinction to make among children. Most people he knew as children would’ve probably started a fight if they thought someone was just letting them win. He’d certainly given Namino more than a fair share of noogies when he thought his brother was just trying to keep peace by letting him or Shigeru win. 

Though, all three of them could get fairly competitive, so it wasn’t something that had happened all that often. 

“Ah!” Lake perked. “Yeah! Mixed Martial Arts. It’s just the umbrella term for sports like boxing or karate or muay thai. Usually just one-on-one, and not really having, like, cover, like you mentioned, but yeah! There are tournaments all the time for MMA stuff.”

“Like the King of Iron Fist tournament,” Kokichi snarked, Lake immediately going red while Nazumi and Denji snickered. 

“Hey!! It sounded really cool! You can’t deny that!”

Shigeru narrowed his eyes at that, snickering as he said, “Oh, there’s a story there. Spill, what on earth is ‘King of the Iron Fist’?”

Kaito nodded enthusiastically with Shigeru, grinning as he said, “Based on the way your face went red? I’m gonna take a wild shot in the dark and say it’s probably the same reason I got my title. Spill!”

Lake just groaned, though she did manage a small chuckle, able to laugh at her own embarrassment too. 

Able to tame his snickering enough, Kokichi gave his husband a grin. “So there’s this super old comic--”

“It’s not old! You’re just a baby! Issues were still coming out when I was a teenager!”

“Ancient comic, called Tekken: Wrath of the Devil,” Kokichi continued, giving Lake a cheeky grin. “In it, there’s this worldwide fighting tournament called King of Iron Fist, and it drew top fighters in all disciplines to compete.” 

“Not to be confused with the Mortal Combat Tournament, from the Mortal Kombat comics,” Denji drawled, eyes alright with amusement while Lake huffed. 

Laughing, Kokichi nodded. “I was pretty little, but apparently Lake-nee missed the whole part where it was a fictional tournament in a fictional universe, and totally thought it was a thing. She tried to petition for that year’s tournament to be held in Usott, and was training to compete in it and everything.”

Lake let out another groan, pressing her face into her hands. “I was convinced I’d win… Captain finally got tired of me yammering on about it non-stop and totally kicked my ass in like…thirty seconds.”

“A few of the old force still call Captain Kaname ‘Papa Heihachi’ sometimes,” Denji snickered. “I think they’ve just been waiting for it to die out.”

“Pffff, that’s amazing though.” Kaito chuckled, while Shingeru snickered some more, entirely pleased with this new bit of dirt on the guardsman. Well, as much as ‘cute childhood stories’ counted as ‘dirt’. 

“Oh! I’ve read that series though.” Namino said, looking excited… before giving Lake an amused look, “You wanted to join that tournament? I remember those fights being brutal! I think I’d be pretty scared, honestly. Wouldn’t want to be… K.O.’D!” he exclaimed, the words so pointed that Kaito guessed it was probably a reference.

“You know, Lake and I sparred once.” Kaito told Shigeru and Naomi, Namino too wrapped up in his sudden display of, for whatever reason, his heart being ripped out, sputtering dramatically as he ‘died’ on the couch, “She kicked my ass immediately. Wasn’t even a competition. Super impressive.”

“Well, our guardforce are all pretty well trained, as far as I understand it.” Naomi mused, tilting her head a little, “Especially with hand to hand combat. I’ve seen them subdue someone once, it’s actually a little intimidating how quickly it goes. Very efficient.”

“‘Effecients’ a word for it.” Shingeru said dryly, looking visibly annoyed as old memories played in his head, “I can’t tell you how many of my clothes they’ve ruined, pinning me into the dirt. You try to run for a few measly blocks, and suddenly you’re ‘evading arrest’ and ‘top suspect for that fire over there’. Ridiculous, really.”

“I really can’t figure out how much of what you say you believe, or if you are just the straightest faced shit-talker I’ve ever met.” Kaito grinned. “I think you mean it, which is just what’s so wild to me.”

“If you mean do I believe in my art? Then yes, I do.” Shigeru huffed, crossing his arms again as his shoulders squared, “The fact that people don’t understand it only further validates it. It’s a counter-culture masterpiece.”

“Uh huh.” Kaito nodded, resting his chin in his hand a bit before saying, “Here’s what I can’t get my head around. There’s a lot of fire-based artwork out there already that doesn’t require you to set fields and fences on fire. Like, is endangering everyone you know a part of the appeal, or…”

Shigeru’s brow furrowed, “I don’t ‘endanger’ anyone.”

“Fine, sure, let’s say that’s true. Just destroying other peoples hard work and putting your own over it then.” Kaito said, ignoring Shigeru’s glare as he said, “No, I’m serious, man, if the point isn’t to destroy something someone else cares about already, then there’s so much fire-based art practices out there already that I can’t understand why you don’t just fill the arsonist itch that way.”

“...like what?” Shigeru asked.

“Fire-dancing, glass-blowing, metal-work, actually, anything that requires access to a hotshop, really. Honestly, hotshops feels like the answer if you also just like seeing what singed items are going to look like once they’re done being burned. You don’t have to burn other peoples things in a field, you could rent out space in a hotshop and make cool fire-based art with other cool people who like to make things using fire.” Kaito insisted, scratching the back of his neck, “...unless, again, potentially losing control of it and hurting other people is literally just ‘part of it’ for you.”

Shigeru frowned, his eyes searching the room for a moment, clearly going over something in his head… before he turned his head away, saying huffily, “...people blowing cute little glass bowls aren’t going to get my aesthetic. I’m not going to find other people like me in little furnace rooms.”

“...” Kaito smirked, though that smirk was touched with something slightly pitying as he tilted his head at him, “Oh. Ooooh, okay, so you don’t go to hotshops because you are… too cool for the ‘normies’ there?”

“That’s a way of saying it, sure. My art is outside of the mainstre–”

“So you’ve never had another friend who’s obsessed with fire-based artwork?”

“My style? There is no other person obsessed with how I–”

“So you don’t talk to other people with hobbies similar to yourself.” Kaito said, chuckling lightly as Shigeru’s glare intensified, “Look, man, I could be wrong. I could be totally off base. But could your enemy actually be that you’re… kinda shy and the reason you won’t go and try these other arts is because you’re worried you won’t be able to relate to the people there? Because, let me tell you, you have to be a special kinda weirdo to want to sit in a room that’s like over a hundred degrees all the time blowing for hours into burning hot glass or lifting heavy-ass mallets to knock metal into shape or practicing dance moves covered in sweat around fire in ways no one else but you is gonna get hurt. I don’t care how ‘edgy’ and ‘counterculture’ you think you are, your community is out there, and they are hiding away in fucking hotbox’s, man. Even the ones making ‘cute glass bowls’ are metal as fuck.”

Shigeru sputtered a bit, entirely offended by Kaito’s decision that apparently Shigeru just had to be shy to not want to hang out with a bunch of artist normies… but, admittedly, he and his brothers were currently spending the holiday with one of the closest people in Shigeru’s life right now, who also happened to be the guard that kept arresting him. He was maybe, admittedly, not that good at socializing… “How would you know?” he muttered to Kaito, “Hotshops sound so constrained. How’s anyone supposed to make ‘real art’ in a metal box?”

Kaito shrugged, “Everyone else in your community seems to manage it. And I know cause I was lucky enough to get to join them a few times, back in Luminary. Coolest shit in the world, seriously. I’ve never met a more impressive group of people. I still wish I was half as badass as this one woman, sweet as pie, would talk about her kids constantly, absolutely not who you would expect to be sculpting these badass little metal/glass monsters, covered in soot and sweat with these massive biceps you couldn’t see when she was wearing her button-up blouse…”

Kaito’s eyes went far away. Kokichi would recognize the look as him getting lost in an old ‘crush’ memory. Lot of… very strong and interesting and wow… super impressive people in those ‘furnace rooms’. Phew… he could feel himself getting hot just thinking about it… f-from remembering how hot the rooms were! Obviously! Gah!

“Do you need… water?” Naomi said, watching as Kaito suddenly turned bright red.

“They’re pretty intense, huh,” Lake laughed, still a little red, but moving past the hot sting of embarrassing kid stuff. “I couldn’t tell you if I had much reasoning past ‘eh, it’ll be fine’ in my head, but I was convinced it was just dramatized regular MMA fights. And I thought I was invincible, so obviously it’d be me doing all the cool combos.”

Even getting her ass handed to her by Kaname wasn’t really enough to totally break her spirit. Just enough to get her to calm down and actually learn from the lessons the guards were trying to teach her. But even if Lake didn’t wholeheartedly buy into her own bravado, hey! The kids loved a larger than life hero! It was a good image for the force. 

And she still did have enough prowess to back up her bark when it counted. 

Giving Shigeru a wry look, Lake smirked, “Hey, last time I checked you preferred the dirt over being held in the air. I keep tellin’ ya, man, if you don’t want us to come after you, ya gotta stop running.”

The rest of the group fell quiet as Kaito picked Shigeru’s personality, Keigo leaning forward in clear interest, especially the more his brother seemed to prickle and flounder. People tended to back off after the first round of artistic eccentrism, but not Kaito, apparently. Interesting. 

…and perhaps his brother wasn’t quite as happy only being famous and infamous as Keigo thought. 

Sighing softly, Kokichi just shook his head at Kaito’s red face and unfocused gaze. “He does need to cool down in some form or fashion… Still,” he smiled softly at Shigeru, “We’ve had to put a lot of thought into socializing and taking a look at our habits, lately. Personally, I don’t think it can hurt, seeing what people with similar interests are up to, since you never know when you might find a new friend! But encouragement can feel a little pushy sometimes.”

Shigeru tsked at that, “‘Pushy’ is a way of saying it. You’ve known me for all of five minutes, Kaito, you shouldn’t talk like you have me all figured out.”

Kaito scratched at his goatee a bit, shrugging, “I don’t have you all figured out, but I don’t need to to recognize someone who’s sabotaging themselves by being too shy to even try making friends. Especially cool-ass friends who would literally have every reason in the world to want to hang out with you. I’m not saying you have no friends.” Kaito said quickly, seeing Shigeru open his mouth to argue that, “I just mean people who are actually, like… your type of people, rather than just random people you stumbled upon along the way. You’re not hard to get along with, dude, you’re really cool, honestly. If you reached out to a group, that group would like to have you. And you’d find out that a lot of them are worth knowing. I don’t have to know you in any particularly special or detailed way to know that’s going to be true, it’s literally a basic truth of socializing. I could say it to really just about anyone and it’d be accurate, you’re just one of those types that actually needs to hear it.”

Kaito saw Shigeru’s gloomy expression and sighed. So damn stubborn. Reminded him of Maki in the early days. ‘Oooooh, no one would understand me, I’m just too edgy and dangerous’. Fuyuhiko too, actually, thinking about it, that guy didn’t even think other Yukuza would understand him because he was so ‘special and different’. The most insulting thing you could suggest to people like that was that they weren’t really all that different from, like, a dozen other people you had talked to over the years. And that was just people Kaito had met. The world was a big place. They weren’t as big of outliers as they thought they were.

…okay admittedly Maki was a dragon and Fuyuhiko was a crime boss and this dude did do a lot of arson. But those were just quirks. That wasn’t the entirety of who they were. They could still enjoy hobbies with other people.

It was Nasumi who said after a moment, “Well… Kaito, if you’ve done hotshops before, and you really think Shigeru would have fun in them…” he said, looking nervously back and forth between his pissed off brother and Kaito, “...whyyyyyyy don’t you show us one? Then Shigeru could go with someone who’s already familiar with them and can make his own judgment call on it!”

“What?”  Shigeru said, giving his brother an annoyed look.

“Wha?” Kaito said, startling a little. “Oh, uh… I mean, I’ve never been to any here–”

“Oooooooh? You said all of that like it’d all be the same anywhere you go.” Shigeru pointed out, smirking at Kaito, who floundered a little, “What, suddenly now you have to go to a new place and it’s ‘too different’?”

“Hey! That’s not–”

“Hypocrite.”

“WHO’S A HYPOCRITE?” Kaito shouted, slamming his fists together before pointing at Shigeru, “Fine! You’re on! I’m going to take you to a hotshop and it’s gonna be full of cool people who you’ll get along with and by the time we’re done you’re gonna be wondering what the hell took you so long!”

“Uh huh, sure! I bet I never hear from you again after this party because you’re gonna realize you have no idea how to talk to Dicean hotshoppers anyway!”

Naomi frowned at that. “Now, that’s not fair to say, I’m sure Kaito gets along well with Diceans–”

“YOU’RE ON! YOU THINK I’M GONNA DISAPPEAR!? EVERYONE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE, WHERE DO YOU LIVE SO I CAN SEND A MESSENGER!?”

“IN A TREE HOUSE!”

“THAT’S REALLY UNHELPFUL!”

“JUST MAKE PLANS NOW YOU SPEECH MAKING BRAGGART!”

“FINE MEET ME AT THE CASTLE GATE SATURDAY MORNING AT EIGHT BUT I’M WARNING YOU NOW THAT MEANS MY SON TIM’S COMING WITH!”

“FINE!”

“FINE!”

Kaito and Shigeru, both standing, huffed and puffed at each other… before Kaito wiped some sweat off his brow, “Yeah, okay, I’ll figure out where a hotshop is before then, I guess.”

“I need more champaign.” Shigeru sighed, heading towards the kitchen.

“Guy can’t take some decent advice, gotta get into a shouting match with me, god damn,” Kaito muttered, sitting back down and huffing. 

Keigo hummed, something soft and satisfied, before sitting back on the couch again. “Mm… You’re a baby of the family too, aren’t you. Man, this brings back memories.”

Kokichi raised an eyebrow. “I suppose I was just assuming…but you’re all triplets, right? If you’re all the same age, I can’t imagine birth order really means all that much.”

“Yes and no,” Keigo shrugged. “But being the youngest is a state of mind more than an age, at times. It doesn’t help that the three of us are spoiled. Hey, Namino, make sure he doesn’t run off and do something crazy the night before; I want to hear this story afterwards.”

“Hmmm…” Denji hummed. “What was it…? Ko told me you’d gone to a workshop to…make a dagger, Kaito? Or something like that. Was that at a hotshop in Luminary?”

Kaito pouted at the ‘youngest sibling’ callout. He didn’t think it was that obvious… before chuckling a little at Denji, “Oh, Kokichi told you about that, huh? It was supposed to be a sword, but, uh… yeah, I didn’t get much farther than it being dagger sized. It was also, like,” Kaito chuckled, putting his forefinger and thumb close together… but not that close as he admitted, “This thick, by the time it cooled. So, like, less a dagger, even, and more a thick metal sheath with a handle on it that was way too fancy for what it was. I had it for years before it broke when I was messing around with it. The end just, pop! Snapped off the handle.” Kaito said, grinning wide at the story, his expression full of affection as he said, “I wish I still had it honestly. I kept the pieces in a drawer, but they disappeared one day.” Kaito said, shrugging a little. 

“Man, it was so much fun trying to make it though… and so much work.” Kaito snickered, shaking his head, “I wish I had gotten, like, super dedicated to it back when I was a kid and had the chance. I’d be a behemoth by now. Just, nothing but muscle! …and maybe a pork belly, all of them had these really strong arms and these really large bellies. Probably just because it’s a lot of standing still while putting your arms through the ringer. But yeah, the blacksmith shop doubled as a hotshop. They had different sections for different styles of craft, but you could go through the other areas and see people doing all sort of wild shit with molten lava and fi"re and sand and metal… it was really cool. I really wish I had invested more time into it.” 

“Buuuut, I wasn’t allowed into the castle blacksmith’s operations because it was classified and I’d have needed a key and an escort and all sorts of stuff, and the nearest city hotshop was faaaaaaar.” Kaito whined, sighing at the memory, “...I mean, none of those were real obstacles, I coulda have talked my way into get a key to the castle blacksmith’s area and carriages could always take me to the hotshop, but, eh. Just was lazy.”

Lake chuckled a bit at the story of Kaito’s knife, before sighing wistfully. “Yeah… Can’t say I have that much body envy, but it’s always incredible seein’ the biceps on a blacksmith or courier, or, yeah, weightlifters. Different bodies have different needs, but I heard the stomach weight is for core stabilization. If you’re carrying a few hundred pounds, gotta make sure your organs stay in place.”

“Eeeugh,” Kokichi made a face. He hadn’t liked thinking about organs moving around when they were talking about Shuuichi’s pregnancy, and he didn’t like thinking about it now.

Sitting back, Nazumi hummed a little at the path divergence Kaito had. “Sometimes the barrier to entry don’t have to be steep to keep someone from climbin’ it. Does sound like a wonderful experience, though. Always somethin’ a li’l magical about putin’ your hands in creation. In a forge or in dirt, gives ya a perspective that stays.”

“I think I’m happy enough benefitting from others’ production for most of it,” Denji smirked. “Though I do make custom clothes so…to each their own, I suppose.”

Kaito peeked up at Denji… before his eyes went a little starry. 

“Denji,” Kaito said, getting up and scurrying around the coffee table. His large form struggling to get past everyone’s legs a bit, before settling down on his knees next to where Denji was sitting. Grinning up at him as he leaned his shoulder onto Denji’s leg, “Deeeenjiiiii… buuuuudddyyyyyy.”

Denji raised their eyebrows, giving Kaito a moderately wary and exasperated look. “...yes, Kaito?”

Kaito grinned up at Denji, leaning more of his body weight against their leg, “You should make Miyako cute baby clothes.”

They let out a huff, waving a hand dismissively as they tucked their legs to the side, getting them out of Kaito’s way. “Of course, you don’t need to cajole me into something like that. I’ll need to get some infant-appropriate fabrics, but it’s no great investment, considering the size.”

Kokichi grinned, looking over at his sibling and husband fondly. “Kai-chan’s been talking about getting her a whole array of animal onesies.”

Denji looked a bit dismayed. “I can be better utilized than for that.” 

From the side, Lake let out a little squeal. “Oh, guys, when you had her in that wolf onesie?! Miyako was so cute, I couldn’t handle it. What other animals are you thinking?”

Kaito, entirely undaunted by Denji moving their legs, and now in a bit of a weird mood, leaned forward and now rested an arm and his head on their thigh. Soft… Denji had big legs. Kaito, suddenly remembering the nap that wasn’t, blinked somewhat heavily and yawned, “Mmm… little dragon onesie, in honor of her auntie… I bought Shuichi a raccoon onesie, I’d love to see them being a little raccoon dada/daughter set… maybe a lamb if she ever wanted to match Little Lamb… mmm… jelly fish? Big poofy jellyfish hips…squid ink thing? Kokichi likes those… get Kokichi a weird slime onesie… really just gotta figure out what the hell he’s talking about really… could be cute…” Kaito yawned. Perfectly content to stay laying on Denji’s thigh as he blinked heavily.

“Ooookay, this setup changed while I was gone.” Shigeru noticed, bringing out the bottle with the intention of refilling glasses, “Serious question, is Kaito drunk?”

“A guys gotta be drunk to think about cute onesies?” Kaito asked sleepily.

“I think at this point I’d like to be.” Though, Denji wasn’t pushing Kaito off, and knowing the stylist, that was the biggest sign to Kokichi, Lake, and Nazumi that Denji didn’t actually mind that much. If Denji really wanted him off? Kaito would be on the floor.

Half the things Kaito was saying didn’t make sense, but…hmm. Not a onesie, but a jellyfish dress? That sounded like an interesting project, actually. But the rest of the onesies, they’d have to buy. Denji would be making some actual clothes, thanks. 

Chuckling softly, Kokichi gave his siblings a half-apologetic look. “We were kind of dozing at the Memorial Garden this morning, but it didn’t exactly turn into a proper nap. Would it be alright to crash here for a bit?”

“Always, li’l bro-bros!” Lake cheered, having the sense to not go at it with full volume. “Kai-guy, you’re good to conk out in my room if you need a nap. Don’t think we were really planning anything that loud.”

Kaito blinked heavily. But… soft thigh…

Sighing, Kaito sat up, giving Lake a heavy look as he nodded, getting up. “Yeah, sorry. That sorta just hit me all at once. Noticed some pillow thighs and it was like it just reminded my whole body how tired I am.”

Chuckling a little, Kaito looked over to Kokichi, “You gonna stay out here babe?”

Denji grimaced a bit. Pillow thighs?! There was only one person granted that privilege, after that, Kaito.

Kokichi gave Kaito a soft smile before nodding. “I think so, yeah. Any particular time you want me to wake you up for?”

Kaito yawned, shrugging as he ran his hand through his hair, “Just whenever you need me, I guess. Hopefully I won’t oversleep. Uh, if I don’t wake up in a timely manner, it was nice meeting you all.”

Namino smiled, giving him a wave as he said, “I bet I’ll see you saturday, actually.”

Naomi nodded, “It was nice to meet you, Kaito! I will say hello if I see you again.”

Shigeru scoffed, “I haven’t decided if it was nice to meet you yet or not. You’re kind of strange.”

“...” Kaito looked to Lake, whispering to her, “I got called strange by the arsonist living in a tree house.”

“It was nice to talk with you properly, for once,” Keigo nodded with a wave.

“Real recognizes real,” Lake whispered back, giving Kaito a grin and a not-as-hard-as-it-could’ve-been clap on the back, before leading the way to her bedroom. 

-

Lake’s bed smelled strange and unfamiliar. It felt weird, the mattress too thin. The framing was wooden and custom made, high on four decoratively thin stilts rather than the bulky, strong wooden frames of Kokichi’s bed. The bed creaked and shifted so dramatically under Kaito’s weight that once he got his knee on it, he froze, before moving more carefully. Afraid that one careless, overly reckless move would cause the whole thing to collapse beneath him. 

The blanket was hand knitted. There was a sheet beneath it to stop the chaffing of the fabric. Kaito blearily observed all of that before, kicking off his shoes, he decided slipping under the covers felt too intrusive. He’d just sleep on top of them. 

He grabbed a pillow and wondered if it was Lake or Nazumi’s. He wondered if they slept in the same bed together. Maybe it’s neither. Kaito remembered, somewhat guiltily, that Lake and Nazumi aren’t together, and that it was cruel to think of them that way. This pillow could be for Lake’s lovers. Un-owned and ever-transitioning, unable to mold to the shape of the people that Lake brought home that could, no matter what they did, never actually compete for their space in Lake’s life.

He wondered if they knew? That they didn’t stand a chance?

He knew they probably didn’t. But he hoped they did. 

…

…could also just be a crotch pillow, Kaito supposed. The pillow Lake liked to keep between her legs. Kaito chuckled weakly to himself, because that was kinda gross, and also extremely plausible. He’s not squeamish, but he turned the pillow over anyway, because in his head that made it less potentially crotch-y, somehow.

Kaito chuckled lightly to himself again, before laying his head down. Blinking sleepily at unfamiliar wallpaper. Outside, he heard the soft murmurs and laughter of people. He wondered what they were talking about. He wondered if he made a decent impression. He thought back on that entire exchange and it sort of felt like he didn’t. Maybe he had though. It was sorta hard to judge sometimes.

Kaito blinked sleepily. Holding the pillow in a stranglehold, burying half of his face into it as his legs spread wide. There wasn’t a lot of bed to take over, but Kaito only slept in any sort of contained way when there were other bodies to share the space with. Otherwise he just spread and spread, making himself big, taking over the whole area as much as he could.

…was he on the verge of sleep, or had he just wanted to get out of that room for a bit?

…hmm…

…he was a little retroactively embarrassed, at what he had said to Shigeru.

He had followed his gut on the matter. Shigeru’s enemy had seemed so clear to him, for a second. The guy needed to channel his impulses in a more healthy way, and those healthy avenues were only being barred to him by his fears of not fitting into the community that surrounded those practices. Get Shigeru among his fellow fire-artists? They’d show him the benefits of their own styles of art, he’d fall in love with one of the crafts, he’d get good at it, make friends, stop being arrested, would get his life together and maybe not end up the extremely predictable tragedy he was setting himself up to be someday. Easy. Simple.

…sigh. He shouldn’t have said anything. He hoped Tim wouldn’t mind taking their time together on Saturdays to go to a hotshop full of strangers so that Kaito could prove a point. Maybe Tim would like it? He hadn’t been entirely talking out of his ass when he said he had really liked the hotshops. He had, admittedly, talked them up a bit more than he might have if he had just been talking about them idly, rather than feeling like he had to sell them to someone in a sudden, manic bid to ‘fix’ someone he had just met.

Kaito huffed into the potential-crotch pillow, closing his eyes. Dumbass Momota…

He could feel himself wanting to do it again, already. Opening his eyes to peek around Lake’s room, his eyes searching. He didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, but he knew generally he was looking for ‘clues’ at how to ‘fix’ them. Fix Lake and Nazumi’s relationship. It ate at Kaito, as he sat up, blearily looking around. Stop it, Momota, it’s not your place and there’s nothing you can do anyway…

Kaito’s eyes focused, a little surprised as, on the mirror on Lake’s wall, Kaito recognized Kokichi’s style of artwork. 

Getting up, Kaito went to get a closer look at it. Kokichi’s style, absolutely, though Kaito would have a hard time guessing what age his husband might have drawn it. It was definitely a drawing of Lake and Nazumi together though. Laughing in the sun, Nazumi with a plant in her hands and Lake with her arms around Nazumi’s shoulders. Drawn from the perspective of someone looking up at them.

…

……

……. It had only been a year and a half, and Kaito knew he was struggling to remember what his mom looked like.

Giving his husband’s drawing a soft sigh, Kaito went to sit back down on the bed. Wincing as it moved beneath him, again reminded of how frail the framing seemed to be. Moving more carefully, Kaito laid back down. Staring at the ceiling with a frown. Trying to picture his mother.

Blue hair and blue eyes. Tall… except she hadn’t been. Kaito had outgrown her pretty quickly. He just remembered her being tall, because most of the time when Kaito had seen her, it had been when she was sitting in her lounging chairs, or at the table, or on the high balcony, or at the throne room. Never really close enough to compare to Kaito’s own height. Distant and out of reach…

Kaito wondered if his mother had loved him.

Kaito wondered what her last letter had read like.

He knew maybe he was putting too much meaning in his parents’ last letters to him. Neither of them would have known it was their last words to him. Maybe they wouldn’t have said anything in particular… but they had also been his wedding letters. Their first words to their son that was well and truly lost to them, by that point. Far away and with little to no hope of ever returning to them. Married off and in another country, with no idea what the family he’d be married off to would be like. They hadn’t known it’d be their last words to him, but certainly they’d have known those letters would be important to him anyway, in that moment… certainly they would have written in some special way, knowing the letters were coming at a really meaningful time to him?

…Byakuya had said he kept those letters from Kaito in part to protect him– to spare his feelings– and Kaito kind of believed him.

They had both known Aiichi. Personally. Kaito had known that, growing up, though he hadn’t realized how well they had known the other man until Aiichi had told him the still fairly alarming truth of all of that. Kaito could optimistically think that maybe the reason his parents had been unbothered sending Kaito away had been because they knew Aiichi wouldn’t harm him. That he was a good man and Kaito would be safe in his care. That was a nice way of thinking about it…

…he had liked laying his head on Denji’s thigh. He wondered if he’d have found Denji attractive, in different circumstances. Kaito tried to imagine it, pulling the potential-crotch pillow onto his chest and squeezing it. Giving the ceiling a stern look, as he ran the idea over in his head. Denji wasn’t… unattractive. Not really Kaito’s type though, honestly. Or maybe Kaito just couldn’t see past Kokichi’s sibling relationship with them. Or maybe Denji had just never done anything that made Kaito stop and really notice them. Hmm…

Kaito had wanted to marry Lake when he first met her.

He chuckled at that memory, running his feet over the roughly twined crochet blanket. A slightly older, buff woman in a cape, with a friendly smile and his own temperament? She had seemed like a dream come true. Kaito had immediately wanted to trade Kokichi with her. Kaito tried to imagine that next and frowned. Yeah, no… he couldn’t see the attraction there now either. 

Neither Denji nor Lake would have ever been happy with him.

Kaito hummed at that, mentally looking over that new realization. Hmmm… yeah, that was part of it, wasn’t it. Kaito couldn’t bring himself to be attracted to people he knew for a fact wouldn’t be attracted to him. He just… knew them both a little better now. Maybe in a different world he could have enthusiastically given all of himself to them, but for Denji and Lake? They wouldn’t have wanted him. Kaito would have just been one more doomed-from-the-start suitor, attempting to fill in a Nazumi-shaped hole in Lake’s life, and Denji? Kaito supposed maybe Denji would have enjoyed fucking him, but honestly Kaito suspected that Denji wouldn’t have considered Kaito as anything more than a one-and-done experience. At best. Considering who Denji had eventually ended up with, Andromeda, Kaito suspected his loud and endlessly needy energy would have drained and pissed off Denji pretty quickly. As Kaito had told Kokichi, Kaito wanted to be an event. The best part of his partners day. Denji would have gotten sick of him so fast.

Playing with this new realization of his tastes, Kaito imagined Ikou, who definitely in no world would have ever been attracted to Kaito… imagining that sweet, gruff face running a calloused hand through Kaito’s hair before–

Kaito’s face turned bright red. Throwing the pillow onto his face. Stooooooooop. Not attracted to people who wouldn’t be attracted to him! Not! Gah, Ikou just needed to stop being that cute. Gah! 

…god, he must have seen his mother smile at least once, right??

Kaito glared into the darkness of the pillow, a little frustrated with himself now. He was supposed to be sleeping, dammit. He didn’t even know what the hell he was thinking about, his mind flitting from subject to subject to subject. To problems he couldn’t fix and people he couldn’t understand and eventually settling into the safety of Kaito’s mental safe-space, which was imagining how a relationship with the people around him would go. Kaito liked to think about stuff like that. He could imagine a best case scenario where he was attractive and wanted and those people potentially fell in love with him, or at the very least had a great time with him. Daydreams much more reliable than the reality, which were people he didn’t know how to make small-talk with without acting like a goddamn loon halfway through the conversation. Talking out of his damn ass and putting his head on laps and… ugh, how did Kokichi stand him…

Ugh. Go to sleeeeeep.

…would Lake end up telling Kokichi all the mean things Kaito said about him?

Kaito squeezed the pillow over his face, bunching it between his fists. Would Nao tell the things Kaito had confessed to her? Things that made Kaito feel sick at the horror of people knowing? Why had he told her all of that? Why had he told that guy at the bar that he had wanted to go chase after Togami? Did that guy tell people that Kaito was in love with the man who had drugged and kidnapped him? Had terrorized his poor husband and crippled his best friends? Did he bring it up as a drinking story with strangers and laugh? 

Why did Kaito keep doing that to himself?

…sometimes it was just easier to talk about the worst parts of himself, to people he genuinely didn’t care, in that moment, if they judged him or not. 

Which wasn’t fair to Lake, really. Kaito wasn’t sure why his opinion of her was so low. She didn’t deserve it. She was a good person who had been there for Kokichi his whole life and had helped Maki when she was struggling to understand Dicea and had tried her best to meet Kaito at his own terms. It was Kaito who had wanted the spar and Kaito who had drawn her into conversation on the staircase during Harvest and Kaito who kept setting himself up to have his own damn feelings hurt. It really wasn’t fair to Lake. She had never really been anything but kind to Kaito.

Kaito closed his eyes and saw a knocked out Kokichi in her arms, the silhouette of her and Denji in the doorway. 

That wasn’t fair.

You know why that isn’t fair, Kaito? 

Because you’re leader of the Kokichi murder-board Kaito.

Kaito took the pillow over his head off and gasped, that rush of alarm going through him too hotly. He stared at the ceiling, suddenly wide awake. Letting the adrenaline run through him a bit, before he sat up, hugging the pillow to his stomach. Now giving the unfamiliar room an increasingly wary look, his nerves making it too difficult to relax. 

He wished all the medication he took helped with stuff like this. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if the psychotic depression medication was really what he needed, still. He wasn’t delusional. All of that stuff had happened. He just couldn’t explain that to Miss Crystal… though, in her defense, she had explained that one of his ‘delusions’ was constantly feeling at fault for everything. The voices had been one part of the diagnosis, but Kaito’s monster-complex had been the other.

Kaito had felt like the medication was helping at first. His good mood easier to sustain. But over time Kaito felt like he couldn’t tell the difference, between how he felt on it and how he remembered feeling off it. Miss Crystal had warned him that it was just both, A: time morphing how he remembered feeling off the medication, blunting those memories to make them seem less grim then they really had been, and B: that Kaito was still on a really low dosage, all said and done. He had literally only just started taking them in the middle of summer, after all. He had noticed that initial serotonin boost, but when it came to long term usage, they’d have to steadily up the dosage in bits, keeping an eye on side effects until he felt consistently stable. 

Ngh… Kaito forced himself to lie back down. In truth, he’d like to go for a walk. Or, in truth, he’d like to go find someone to pick a fight with and let off some of this energy on. Or, in truth truth, find someone to go be an ‘event’ for, boosting his own mood by boosting theirs, maybe enjoy the excitement of peeling off their clothes bit by bit, seeing how far they’d let him take it before he had someone on their back and–

Kaito gave himself a frustrated sigh, curling up around the potential-crotch pillow and wrapping his arms around it, strangling it again. As annoyed with his own sudden arousal as he had been annoyed with his sudden gloomy thinking and his earlier whimsical goofiness. One of the side effects had been potentially his libido disappearing. Kaito had worried about that a little, but now he kinda wished it had happened. Cool your stupid body, Momota…

…actually? Trying to squash his arousal was actually helping him calm down overall. Mmm… okay. He felt better. Kaito let out a little relieved sigh as the mix of heated feelings, the anger and guilt and embarrassment and insecurity, all bled away as he forced his body to calm down from its sudden arousal. Okay… he felt better…

The sleepiness was back. Kaito listened to the voices outside the bedroom, basking in the increasing calm of his body. Maybe he should have tried sleeping on Kokichi’s thigh. His husband, admittedly, didn’t have the most comfortable body to sleep on, but Kaito still enjoyed doing it, when Kokichi hadn’t claimed Kaito’s own body as a bed. Kokichi would sometimes place his hands on Kaito’s head in a way Kaito liked. Like his husband was learning the shape of Kaito’s head with his fingertips. Small, icy hands trailing Kaito’s skin in a way that was really reassuring, that made Kaito want to just close his eyes and bask in the attention… mmm…

With that soothing daydream in mind, Kaito finally fell asleep.

-

They ended up staying at Lake and Nazumi’s for quite a bit. At one point Lake set up a dartboard against the wall, and to his own surprised delight, along with most of the others, Kokichi absolutely decimated. It turned out private knife-throwing lessons with one of Luminary’s greatest former assassins was very good practice for darts. 

A few other games got pulled out as well, and as the afternoon wore on, Kokichi ended up poking Kaito a bit, just as Nazumi was putting together an early dinner of roasted corn and sausages and a warm pepper salad and cantaloupe. As nice as the food and conversation and games were, Kokichi did want to make their last (maybe) stop of the day, to properly honor everyone he wanted to. 

So, with full stomachs and spine-cracking hugs, Kokichi waved goodbye to his siblings and new friends as he and Kaito headed out into the late afternoon. 

“So…we can just stop in for the song I wanted, then head home if you’re about done with today,” Kokichi grinned hesitantly up at his husband.

Kaito rubbed some sleep crust from his face a bit, before matching Kokichi’s grin, “You kidding? I’m refreshed and ready to do mourning stuff late into the night! I seriously needed that nap, babe, I was loopy for a second there. I feel loads better, I am revved up!”

“Okay, but,” Kaito added in, looking around at the still basically empty streets, “I didn’t wanna ask in front of Lake’s friends, but what the heck is a roadhouse? What are we going into, beautiful?”

Kokichi’s lips made a little ‘o’ shape before he hummed, giving Kaito a nod before he tried to explain. “Oh! Okay… It’s like…like a small concert venue? But also kind of like a pub that has the space to hire a band? And it has dance space, but a lot of seating too. It’s one of the places that for sure is gonna have a music set-up today, so I figured it’d be better than roaming around until we can find somewhere…”

Smiling softly, Kokichi knocked against Kaito’s side as they walked. “Usually there are musicians hanging around that’ll take requests, but you can also go up yourself, if there’s something you wanna play. A little like…really unorganized karaoke. I know it’s pretty much just my idea, but…do you think there are any songs you wanna request?”

Kaito nodded along with the explanation, idly reaching out to rub the back of Kokichi’s neck a bit when he felt his small body bump close. So a roadhouse was a pub big enough to have music played in it, huh? Interesting. “That sounds like a good time.” Kaito said, before humming a little bit to himself. Nothing with a tune, just a deep thing in the back of his throat as he considered his options, “...nothing comes to mind immediately, but I bet I’ll think of something by the time we start doing it. And even if I don’t, listening to other peoples songs will be a lot of fun. I’m excited for it!”

Kaito looked back down at Kokichi, before leaning down and stealing a quick kiss, “Especially any song you pick. A concert from my very own ‘Kichi? What’d I do to get so lucky today, hm?”

Kokichi flushed lightly and gave Kaito’s hand a squeeze as thanks for the kiss. “I wouldn’t put your hopes quite so high. The song Miku recommended is really difficult. Should be a good time either way, but I wouldn’t expect a wonderfully musical experience.”

“...” He was quiet for a moment. “...I feel like music is a good way to honor someone. Even if it’s not words you wrote yourself…there can be such a sentiment that really speaks to people. Whether finding something to convey your own thoughts, or something that had spoken to the person you’re performing it for. Does that make any sense?”

“Maybe.” Kaito said, his tone not exactly dismissive, but there was something not entirely convinced in it… before he shrugged somewhat sheepishly, hearing his own dismissiveness and immediately a little ashamed of it, “I… would be a little annoyed, if I saw someone singing at a funeral or something. I know maybe the person they’re singing for might have been pleased or honored by it, and at the end of the day it’s not really my place to say how anyone should grieve. I just… putting on a performance, all eyes on you…it’d bother me, especially if the death was really recent.”

“But that’s not even really what this is.” Kaito conceded, “This isn’t anyone’s funeral, and people are coming here specifically to honor people through performance. It’s a really new concept to me, but I can see the beauty in that, ya know? Once I get past my knee-jerk ‘grief is silence’ thing? Then, yeah…plus, music is just so inherently emotional, really. Maki and I agonize over it, finding songs that ‘fit’ the argument we’re currently having. If it’s the wrong emotion, it can really ruin the whole point dancing through our bickering.”

“And when you find the right one?” Kaito sighed, something serene on his face, “It’s almost healing, in its own way. Like the pain has a clear way out, not just getting bottled up and confused and stuttering over the doubt of if it’s even what we want to be talking about… maybe that’s why music feels like a good way to honor someone or grieve them? Because if you have the right one, it just fills you entirely, and gives you a clean, straightforward way to express it without getting all caught up in your head?” Kaito said, looking to Kokichi, silently asking him if he was on the right track.

Kokichi wasn’t quite looking for an emotional connection. While everyone had their personal ways and expressions of grief, there was a really big cultural influence on it too, and Kokichi no longer was going to ask or expect his friends to express themselves the same ways Diceans did. He just wanted to try and verbalize his own feelings on the matter, for a conceptual understanding. 

And while Kaito could’ve just left it at one word, he did try to internalize that understanding. 

Grinning, Kokichi nodded. “Yeah! Yeah, that’s what it feels like, to me. And in certain cases, if it was a song someone really liked? Then…it kinda feels like they’re singing it with you, to me. Like you’re sharing and sharing in the joy or…whatever that they found in that song before.”

“Honestly, I’d like fewer eyes on me, if I’m singing,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “Even in this case…it’s not really like karaoke, even if I made the comparison. It’s not about me, or the time I spend up there performing…it’s for the person I’m honoring. I can grieve in private plenty, sure, but…yeah. That’s not the point of this. It’s about sharing your grief and fond memories and joy and the legacy of someone else with others.”

“Yeah! And all of that sounds good.” Kaito grinned, swinging his arm a little while he held Kokichi’s hand, undeniably in a good mood– he really had needed that nap– as he said cheerfully, “I may not entirely understand it at first, or have any ideas of how to participate, but as for being there to support you and, like, be a part of it as an audience member? Just so you’re aware going in, Kokichi, I’m in this for as long as you want to do it. Shuichi and Maki have Miyako, todays for us. Okay? I’m all yours, for any mourning ritual you want to do.”

Smiling softly, Kokichi leaned over to kiss Kaito’s arm. “Thank you. I don’t think it’ll be all that long… I just wanna get my song in for sure, then we can play it by ear.”

Kokichi wasn’t sure if it had just been their interrupted nap earlier, or if Kaito was getting overwhelmed with people, that had inspired his fatigue earlier. If the weird moods were just brief flashes, or if this just…wasn’t the kind of holiday Kaito was comfortable celebrating. But his husband was trying, and Kokichi trusted him to speak up when it was getting to be too much. 

Turning onto a new street, Kokichi pointed out a bricked-front, two story building, music not blaring, but still audible from the outside. There were a few small groups of people chatting on the front patio tables, some laughing, some misty eyed. And as they got closer, some people had drinks in hand, but for being late afternoon it didn’t look like anyone was too forgone already. Or maybe they had just headed home.

Perhaps in a fun turn of fate, Kokichi grinned at the familiar piano tune being picked out from the roadhouse loft as he held the door open for Kaito. Still gathered in clusters, but altogether having more of a sense of ‘togetherness’ the house was chanting out to the shanty, a few folks out on the floor spinning around, keeping out of the way of two particularly tall dancers, the broader one’s voice blaring out above even the rest of the singers, while the dark haired one seemed to be very valiantly trying not to fall over dancing. 

“Bid farewell to weaver's town!/ Say so long to port renowned! / Sing a song, it won't be long, before we're casting off!”

“Cross the gold and silver seas / The salty spray puts us at ease! / Day and night to our delight, / The voyage never ends!”

Kaito snickered a little as they walked in, though it was an entirely delighted laugh. “Wow… this is new for me.” Kaito admitted to Kokichi softly, looking around curiously, “Like, entirely new, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a place with a vibe like this before.”

Glancing at the bar, Kaito hesitated a little… before looking down at Kokichi, “Should I not drink?” Kaito asked plainly, “I don’t have too. I’m leaving it up to you.”

“It’s neat, right?” Kokichi giggled, weaving with Kaito a bit to get farther in and find some place to settle. “I poked my head in once, a few years back, and I was enraptured. It’s…big, but also cozy? Something like that.”

Following Kaito’s gaze to the bar, Kokichi gave him a soft smile. “I think I’d prefer it if you didn’t get wasted, since I don’t think I can carry you home myself, but you can drink, hun. I’ll probably wait until after I sing to get anything for myself.”

“Yo-hohoho! Yo-hoho-ho!”

The loud man’s call almost sounded like an owl, as he hooted above the rest of the patrons.

Looking around the house a bit, Kokichi got a glimpse of the piano player, just a layered white and black bob bent over the keys, though the woman next to them, leaning on the piano was a bit more visible, somehow maintaining the most shit-eating grin Kokichi had ever seen while also apparently singing along. Nearby, he could spot what looked like a sign-up sheet. 

Nudging Kaito’s hand gently, Kokichi nodded to the sheet. “If you wanna get a drink, I’m gonna see if I can request my song.”

Kaito followed Kokichi’s line of sight, before nodding. Taking up Kokichi’s hand and placing a quick kiss against the back of his palm before saying, “I won’t take long. Pick where you want to sit and I’ll find you.”

It was a fairly safe bet that Kokichi signing up his song would take less time then Kaito getting his drink, and while he had forgotten to ask Kokichi if he’d like anything, would end up getting Kokichi some water anyway. 

The barkeep was a shockingly large woman, in the sense that she looked as if she should just be a small, sort of dumpy older woman, but like someone had taken that normal physique and just enlarged it. She was taller than Kaito by a few feet, and as Kaito usually did when he was in the presence of someone larger than himself, he felt himself fluster a little as he ordered his drink and Kokichi’s water. 

“Sure, hun~” the woman said, her voice a little richly deep, the sound almost musical in how bassy it was. It made Kaito think of oak wood and warm honey, and the sweet smile on her face as she peered down at him, saying after a moment, “I know you, don’t I.”

“Probably.” Kaito said, grinning up at her uneasily, “Prince Kokichi wanted to celebrate the holiday. I’m escorting him.”

“Well, ain’t you a stiff talker. Nervous, hun?” the woman asked, cleaning out a glass before starting to pour the ale Kaito had requested. “Why? We’re friendly folk aroun’ here, you ain’t got nothing to worry about in no roadhouse I’m tendin’ the counter at.” the woman said, before giving Kaito a slightly knowing eye as she said, “So long as you’re up to keepin’ the peace on your end too.”

Kaito grinned slightly at that, “My reputation proceeds me?”

“Maybe a bit.” The woman chuckled, passing Kaito his ale before going to fill up some ice-water, “Name’s Dolly. Drinks are free today, on ‘count of the holiday.”

Kaito frowned at that, “Are you sur–”

“Not just a you thing, darlin’, it’s an everyone thing. It’d be a sad day, if I needed to work on a day like today cause I needed the coin, ya here? We’re all volunteers today.” Dolly explained, before humming deeply to herself, the warm baritone song-like, “I’ve heard that Kokichi boy has a real thing for sugar. That half as true as they say it is?”

“If you’re asking because you have something in mind to give him, I can promise you, he’d love it.” Kaito said, watching the barkeep head to the back, looking for something, “He’s eaten pretty recently, so I doubt he’s hungry, but something sweet? Every rumor you’ve ever heard doesn’t actually meet the reality of it.”

“Little porker in spirit, hm?” Dolly chuckled, before giving a pleased little hum as she found what she was looking for, bringing it back to Kaito, “This is glass candy. Specialty of my cousin. It really is just sugar hardened and colored, a little too much for my own sweet-tooth, but it sound like it’d be right up that boys ally. Tell him we’re happy to have him here.”

Kaito looked at the colorful glass-like sugar on the thick wooden sticks, before giving the barkeep a small bow, “Thank you, I’m sure he’ll love it. I’ll pass it on.” He promised.

“Such a stiff talker. Gonna need to loosen you up, boy.” Dolly chuckled, waving Kaito off as he headed to go find Kokichi.

Making his way to the sheet, Kokichi glanced over it, smiling as he recognized a few songs between the ones that were crossed off and the blank space at the bottom. Even if they ended up only staying for his turn, they’d still get to hear some good music, then. Writing in the song, Kokichi noted that that he wanted “guest vocals”...though judging the crowd, it would just mean that the performing vocalist could have a break, not that it’d only be him singing. Which, like he’d told Kaito…he kind of preferred. It was daunting, singing in front of a crowd.

“Shun-ran, huh? Yaaaas, gimme those quick snares!” 

Kokichi turned at the laugh behind him, facing a woman with thick braids who was grinning over his shoulder. Giving her a lopsided grin, he half-shrugged and side-stepped the sheet, not immediately moving away from her, but not crowding the sheet for anyone else who might want to request something. 

“I’m glad I didn’t just inspire a groan from you--it’s not exactly a shanty,” Kokichi laughed, nodding his head along as the crowd sang out, “Gather up all of the crew! / It's time to ship out Bink's brew! / Wave good-bye, but don't you cry / Our memories remain. / Our days are but a passing dream, everlasting though they seem / 'neath the moon we'll meet again, the wind's our lullaby!” followed by another round of ‘yo-hohoho’s

“Naaaah,” the woman drawled, “Sure, it’s quick, but it’s not so bad for the band if you’re taking up the vocals. Poor Kinme could do it,” she nodded to the piano player, before leaning in with a smirk, “But that’s never the reason anyone sings Shun-ran.”

“True.” Kokichi grinned. “The person I’m singing it for would probably’ve liked it more the more I mess up, honestly.”

The woman’s grin softened. “Now that’s the spirit. We’ll make sure to put on a show to rock the afterlife for ‘em, then.”

Nodding his thanks, Kokichi moved back, feeling something warm swell in his chest as he found a couple of open stools to wait for Kaito by.

Kokichi was watching the band, so Kaito did his best to make some noise as he came up behind him, placing the water next to Kokichi and his ale down at the seat he was claiming for himself, “Hey, get your song picked? Also, I have a gift, courtesy of the bar~ well, specifically Dolly’s cousin, I guess.” Kaito said, showing Kokichi the sugar glass, “Ta-da~”

Kokichi looked over with a smile, though it quickly shifted to curiosity, and a sort of flattered gratitude as he took the candy stick from Kaito. “Aw, that was really nice… It looks good too! Like those fancy kinds of lollipops.”

Giving the treat a lick, Kokichi made an approving noise before giving Kaito a nod. “Yeah, I got my song up, and a member of the band seemed excited, so…it’s nice knowing I’m not putting anyone out by it. There’s a few songs before mine, but it’s not gonna be hours or anything.”

With a soft, final piano chord, the dancers on the floor spun to a stop, before turning and starting raucous applause, a few hoots and hollers going through the crowd as the pianist stood, Kokichi spotting a small, pleased smile on their face. A few others seemed to be moving around the loft, likely other members of the band, switching instruments for the next song. 

Unlike at festivals, there was no pause to announce the song titles, or promote the band. Just…a stream of music. Flowing through countless people’s memories and feelings. 

Or keeping the dancefloor going, if you were less poetic. 

Kokichi spotted the woman who had spoken to him settle at a drum kit, and just like her sudden comment before, there was no time to brace before she struck down on the toms, the song starting. There was a small parting on the dancefloor, an elderly man schmoovin’ to the middle, evoking the graceful, predatory stalk that the song outlined.

It was sweet to see. Reaching over, Kokichi took Kaito’s hand. 

“...this absolutely seems like a couple’s get-together song.”

Kaito considered the sugar stick he was leftover with and, lightly licking it… scrunched up his nose. Man, she wasn’t kidding. It was literally just hardened sugar. Carefully placing it on a napkin, Kaito proceeded to ignore the snack in preference for a sip of his ale. Again, a little sweet, but much more manageable. And Kaito actually felt himself relax into the old familiarity of the bitter aftertaste. It really had been a while since he last drank. He had to be careful to nurse it though.

So sipping at it and holding his cup, Kaito leaned against the surface of the counter, listening to the song… before chuckling at Kokichi’s observation, “I can’t tell if you just mean ‘get together’ for some drinks and dancing or if that is literally the sweetest, most innocent way I’ve ever heard a banging song described.”

Kokichi chuckled and popped his pure-sugar lollipop out of his mouth. “If you can’t tell, then I’m not sayin’. It is a good song, though.” And it…really was. Every layer that got added was just more intrigue into it, and the two singers managed to blend their harmonies in such a way Kokichi just kept glancing over in awe of.

“...is that something you’ve done before?” he hummed. “Have a banging song, I mean.”

Kaito nodded without thinking about it… before his neck and ears suddenly turned red, realizing what he was admitting too. “I-I mean… if you mean, like, a song that’s meant to get you in the mood? Of course, hasn’t everyone?”

That hadn’t been what Kaito meant, but it had hit Kaito like a wave that Kokichi probably hadn’t meant what Kaito had meant. A sexy song to listen to casually was one thing. Music you actually had sex too required some… workarounds. Man, those recorders were going to make it so much easier for everyone, once they became more common place. Little miracle machines, really.

Nudging his husband a little, he gave him a slightly embarrassed wink, “Come on, even you must have a song like that. Just a song that gets your mind there?”

Kokichi giggled softly and headbutted Kaito’s arm, trying to show he wasn’t laughing at him. “Not really. If I’m playing music, I’m a little too focused on it to let my mind wander, and if I’m listening…then it’s usually too public for me to consider it.”

“There was this one song, though,” he hummed, “That I heard at a festival once. All I could think after hearing it was ‘wow, that’s a horny song’. Like…the lyrics weren’t explicit or anything, but the vibes were strong, you know?”

Sucking on his candy for a moment, Kokichi seemed to consider something before shrugging. “Or it could’ve been the piercings the vocalist had.”

“Pfff. Careful, ‘Kichi, or I’m gonna think you’re a perv.” Kaito warned him cheerfully, reaching out to ruffle Kokichi’s hair a little– mmm, soft like only recent conditioning and hairbrushing could do– before reaching up to idly touch his own piercings, “Though, seriously, was it the piercings for ya? Or do you just mean, like, the vocalist sorta seemed like the kind of person who, if they’re gonna sing about anything, yeah, it’s that?”

Then, smirking, he admitted, “If this wasn’t actually kind of a super important ritual for a lot of people, I would absolutely make you tell me the name of the song and go request it. Just to listen to it in front of ya.”

“I’m not sure, honestly,” Kokichi shrugged, giving Kaito a cheeky grin at the hair ruffle. “They were the first person I’d ever seen show off a tongue piercing like that, and I was 15. Could’ve just been a deadly combo like that.”

Snorting softly, Kokichi shook his head a little. “I think there were some special instruments for it. It was called, “Change”, if I remember right… But, yeah. No one’s really gonna grill you on song choice, but I’d feel kinda bad requesting a song just ‘cause. Maybe, if you convince me, I’ll try to sing some of it for you sometime.”

Kaito chuckled, before saying lowly to him, “You get that you basically just promised to do it for me, right? Cause there’s no way I’m leaving that alone. I’m getting that song from you someday.”

Settling down a little, sipping at his ale, Kaito listened to what was oddly enough it’s own sorta duet, watching the folks dance. He’d probably ask Kokichi to dance at some point, if only because look. There was dancing happening right there. But vaguely he had the idea that it’d probably be a good idea to wait until after Kokichi sings. If he didn’t want to drink anything before singing, there was probably a reason for that specifically, and Kaito would guess that dancing would lead to the same issues. Just, Kokichi not at his best, when it was time.

“...what about songs you just like, Kokichi?” Kaito asked, his memories going back and realizing, after a year, he wasn’t sure if that was a question he had ever asked his husband. “Do you have a favorite song? Or at least some songs you love more than others?”

Kokichi shrugged with a small grin, popping his candy back in his mouth. As much as it could still fluster him sometimes, he felt a lot more comfortable singing around Kaito these days. Sometimes his husband’s enthusiasm could be a little much, but…for the most part? Kaito was just encouraging and appreciative. 

It did help him a lot in getting over his nerves, when Miyako decided that the only thing that would calm her would be a lullaby. Hard to be self-conscious about your voice when you had a teary baby in your arms. 

Looking over with a slightly raised eyebrow, Kokichi hummed shortly. “Well…I mean, I did sing you a few of different types that I liked, before. I don’t know if I can really quantify songs I like… I like fun dance tunes, and slow ballads, and rousing instrumental pieces… I guess if something has a good groove to it, I like it, though that’s not really helpful in defining anything.”

“I really like that one I sang for us in the hot tub,” he smiled. 

…Kaito squinted at Kokichi.

One he sang at the hot tub… Kokichi sang a song for him at the hot tub…

…..he had definitely heard Kokichi sing some, heh, high notes in the hot tub… come on, focus, Kaito, find the memory. Singing in a hot tub… pfff, oh god, the storytime they had told. Kaito giving Kokichi a handsy under a table, fuck. Damn, Kokichi knew how to catch Kaito off guard, seriously. Singing…

Maybe Kaito was thinking too far back, because the hot tub had actually been on for that. Was Kokichi talking about when they bunkered down? Had they… no, Kaito was almost certain they hadn’t. That week had been mostly miserable. Well, except for the night hike. Miyako’s first little adventure out into the world… that had been a great night, actually. Kokichi a little sweaty and a little tired but looking beautiful in the moonlight, while Miyako got to feel the fresh air blow through her little patch of hair, the three of them hanging out at the top of the hill that had caught Kaito’s imagination the first time he had seen it. A beautiful view with his family…

“...’Kichi, I’m totally flaking out here,” Kaito said, practically able to hear Amber as he stole that phrase from her, “Remind me of this? You sang to me in the hot tub? I’m wracking my brain, babe… do you remember what time of year this was? Sometimes memories will come back to me if I follow a thread…”

Kaito paused, hearing the song end as he looked around. “Also, do you think it’d be rude to try to guess who requested what song? That man was really into the dancing… I wonder if it was his request? Wonder who it was for.”

Kokichi chuckled softly, tracing his thumb along the side of Kaito’s hand. “It was while I was in recovery, this spring. You, me, and Shuu-chan went to the hot tub, and you asked me for…well, I remember you asking for a love song, but it might’ve been something else. I didn’t realize ‘til later you were probably asking for something a bit slower than what I chose.”

Smiling softly at the memory, Kokichi tapped his fingers against Kaito’s. “You pulled me into the center of the tub and danced with me. I think we had been talking about going dancing again, and I was kinda sad that it’d still be a while until I’d manage it. But…you found a way, right then and there. My brilliant Kai-chan.”

Following Kaito’s gaze onto the dancefloor, Kokichi shook his head a little. “Honestly, if you have a hunch? I think people would be pretty happy to talk about why they chose the song they did. But just guessing for yourself is totally fine too.”

“I mean…I kinda already made a guess,” he snorted. “I’m betting it was for a partner.”

Kaito’s eyes lit up. Right. The dance. He did remember the dance… he didn’t remember Kokichi’s song, but he did remember his husband looking… a little frail. In the water. And sort of sad at that frailty. And knowing the water would alleviate some of the effort for Kokichi, Kaito had helped Kokichi stand up and dance around a little– pffff, too a song that was very difficult to dance too, in retrospect. Though they had made it work!-- and just… let Kokichi feel strong again. For a little bit. 

Kaito smiled softly, pleased by the memory. That had been a nice day… before he turned a little red from honest embarrassment as he said, “Oh. That’s why you said that… I thought you were just, uh… I don’t know what I thought. That maybe you weren’t used to lyrics like that and you felt the need to commentate? I didn’t think you were making a guess. I guess a part of me just assumed it’d be rude to think too hard about it.”

But, then, Kaito had to remember that this style of grief wasn’t private. He wasn’t being unkind to wonder the story behind the music as he looked around. A part of him, as a game, wanted to ask Kokichi if Kokichi would appreciate Kaito going to talk to the older man to find out one way or another… but his stomach curled uncomfortably at the idea. The impulse feeling cruel. He didn’t want to hurt anyone just because he was feeling nosy.

Still… maybe there was no harm in saying softly, “Alright, so… you think maybe it was… maybe the song they literally ‘got together’ too? Like the one that made them realize they enjoyed each others company? I could picture that. The guy does have some impressive dance moves, I’d be drawn in if he was trying to woo me with little tiger claw motions.” Kaito grinned, still keeping his voice low respectfully, but chuckling a little at the imagined scenario.

Kokichi shrugged a little. “It wasn’t like I was…explicitly making a guess, I suppose. The song just really has those vibes so…it’d make sense that it would have that kind of meaning for someone. Sure, I guess it’d be kinda rude to go out and shout that your interpretation or guess of a song is the reason someone chose it, but…that’s cause you’re supplanting someone else’s feelings without talking to them about it. A stranger’s, in this case…which would just be super weird.”

“But getting your own meaning from it, and taking guesses? That’s not hurting anyone. Depending on the person, I bet it’d be a nice sentiment to gain an attachment and affinity for a new song, if it had been someone’s favorite.”

Chuckling along with Kaito, Kokichi looked back out at the older man, making his way back to the outer edges of the dancefloor as the next song started. “That’d be super cute. It does seem like the sort of song you’d hear at a club… Locking eyes with someone cute, drawing them in for a dance… Years later realizing you met because of a cat-metaphor song. That’s the kind of story I’d burn through a romance novel reading.”

“Oh yeah?” Kaito asked, lips flickering up as he gave his husband an incredibly fond look, “You’re right, that would be kinda cute… a sexy little cat song, doing sexy cat dances… maybe wearing little cat paws and cat ears and with a cute little cat tail– god I gotta see you in that outfit at some point.” Kaito huffed, having managed to fluster himself in his attempt to tease Kokichi, leaning back and sipping at his ale to try to cool his burning face, “Dammit, I’m too easy.”

Kaito blinked, honestly shocked to actually hear something familiar start to play, startled out of his own fluster as he looked over to the band as if physically seeing them play it would confirm he was actually hear it. Sure, it was a really simple, popular dance song, but… Kaito so far hadn’t heard anything in Dicea that he recognized. “I know this song.” Kaito whispered to Kokichi, something a little excited in his tone as he tapped his foot to it, watching everyone dance.

When the marimba rhythm starts to play/ dance with me/ make me sway

Like the lazy ocean hugs the shore/ hold me close/ sway me more

Kaito practically bounced in his seat a little, feeling energized as his feet tapped against the base of his stool, watching the dancers– for the most part, a few of them clearly not sure how to actually dance to this song and just making up their own movements– join together into small, playful salsa groups. A wide smile on his face as he hummed along with it a little… before whispering to Kokichi, “If they play this song again, we should dance to it. This is a great dancing song. I could see this just being someone’s favorite dance song.”

Kokichi snorted as Kaito flustered himself, shaking his head a little. Should’ve seen that coming the second he mentioned cats. The song had given him more of a ‘panther’ type vibe, but…cats became cats, the more Kaito extrapolated. 

Kaito might’ve looked to the band in shock of familiarity, but Kokichi did the same out of surprise. It seemed the guitarist had traded out their guitar for a trumpet for this one…and between the steady bass and low drums…yeah. It fit. Definitely a solid vibe of a genre, for how unfamiliar Kokichi was with music like this. 

But even still, he (fittingly) couldn’t keep from swaying a bit to the beat, smiling over at Kaito. “It feels like it. I’d say we could dance now, but…food and drink and the dancefloor don’t really mix,” he nodded a slightly regretful motion towards Kaito’s ale. But…hey, maybe they really would play it again. 

…wow. 

Glancing up with wide eyes, and…considering this was very much the middle of the gig? The high note the singer hit, higher than Kokichi would even consider soprano, certainly didn’t mean they wouldn’t play it again. Damn.

Kaito was sorely tempted to just abandon the drinks and go dance… but held back as he remembered why he had already held off on asking Kokichi to dance. Also, Maki would manifest and murder Kaito on the spot, if he dared leave his drinks unattended, even with the intention of never drinking them again. Because once they were done dancing and he saw they were still there, the temptation to drink from them again would be strong. And even if it wasn’t, manifested Maki wouldn’t care to hear Kaito’s stuttering explanations, she’d kill him anyway.

Kaito carefully sipped at his ale, did not see Maki spontaneously appear in a whirlwind of heat and slicing daggers, and assumed he had probably made the right call. 

“Man, I wish I knew what the first song they played at our wedding was.” Kaito admitted, sipping at his ale a bit more, before setting it down, “It was a fun one… probably something triumphant. Like a victory song… or, actually, if Aiichi picked the band and the songs, probably not. Did you recognize it babe? Know what it was called? Went, like…” Kaito tried to recall, before whistling a few notes. “Hm?”

Kokichi’s face went blank as he stared vacantly into the middle distance, trying to think back on the first song that had played at their wedding. He and Kaito had missed the first part of it, he knew, talking a little before Kaito had pulled him out to the dancefloor, but…

Recognition lit up in his eyes as Kaito whistled a bit of it--there wasn’t a chance pretty much anyone wouldn’t have recognized those few notes. “Oh! Oh, yeah, that’s Pepper Steak. It’s a suuuuper popular dance tune. Any sort of dance that isn’t, like…type of dance or genre specific, you can bet you’ll hear it at least once.”

Snorting softly, Kokichi chuckled. “That makes a lot of sense, actually. Considering how fast people took to the dancefloor? There aren’t a lot of other ways to get the party kicked off that quickly.”

Kokichi gave a grin, and leaned over to snuggle at Kaito’s arm. “And now it’s the song my dear husband taught me how to dance to.”

Kaito nodded, like he had guessed that from the beginning– though the name was pretty surprising– as he mused, “Ah, a popular dance song. That makes sense. Heh, I just kinda assumed Diceans would have thrown themselves onto that dance floor no matter what. That was such a big event, ya know? Would have expected everyone to be thrilled… which they were.” Kaito chuckled, putting his arm around Kokichi’s shoulder and leaning over to give him a hug and a quick kiss, “But a fun dance song sure doesn’t hurt the mood… you were so amazing, that day. My brave, fun, beautiful Kokichi… even if your knee did accidentally nut-tap me once… twice, but I barely felt that second one anyway.” Kaito laughed lightly, stealing another quick kiss.

“That’s a known caution of teaching dance,” Kokichi snickered, pulling his candy away for the kiss. “Especially for something with as much footwork and kicks as you were teaching me. I’m only thankful my teacher was so skilled and patient and fun~”

“...you were incredible,” he said more softly, a more serious and slightly sad, but mostly gracious look on his face. “Even with all the shit that happened…I can only look back and just…be so thankful towards you and everything you did. I had been dreading our wedding for so long. And instead of being scary…you made it so I was happy, and excited, and…feeling brave. So I was looking forward to the future with a friend by my side. I really…don’t think I can ever express how much that meant to me.”

“Aw… you charmer~” Kaito grinned, though his neck and ears reddened in a telling manner, clearly flattered as he looked away a bit. Composing himself a little as he watched the dancing crowd with a pleased little smile, “Never know what to do when you pull that on me. Ya know, if Tengan hadn’t pulled all that stuff? I bet we would have had a lot of fun at our wedding. I know things were kinda bumpy between us regardless, but, like… we’d have figured it out. After a year of this? I think it’s alright to suggest you and I kiiiinda get along.” Kaito teased, smirking down at Kokichi with a little wink. 

The song eventually faded, and Kaito somehow wasn’t surprised to hear another dance song start up again. Happy, upbeat, playful… Kaito made a thoughtful little hum to himself, looking out at the crowd, and wondered aloud, softly, “There’s probably some pressure to not pick anything too sad, I gotta imagine. I know for… my friends, the songs that I knew were their favorites or meant the most to them weren’t the kind of songs that could keep an atmosphere like this going. Soft, sad sentimental things, some angry… I remember…”

Kaito hesitated, listening to the bouncy, boppy dance music, he and Kokichi relaxed and reminiscing over the nicer parts of their shared memories. It honestly didn’t feel like a good time to bring up memories of old, complicated dead ex’s… but, well. That was the point of the day. And he didn’t have to tell it in a sad way. 

So Kaito made himself chuckle a little, shaking his head as he scratched at the outside of his nose distractedly, “Man, Sahara. Sahara loved the angriest music you’ve ever heard. We’d go find these bars and these, like, basement concerts where the band is just screaming the entire time, and she’d just sit back sipping at her whiskey with this content look on her face, like she was listening to birds chirping. Just, entirely calm and soothed, while a freaking mosh pit would just break out randomly around us, chairs getting thrown and glass getting broken…” the grin now was more genuine, Kaito laughing at the memory of the chaos some of his dates with Sahara had been, “God, she really was my wild child, seriously. You wouldn’t have guessed that first meeting her, or maybe even second time talking to her, because she had this really dignified, put together way of holding herself. She was nobility. But her family was new nobility, which, well, ya know… or, maybe you don’t.” Kaito realized, tilting his head, “Let’s just say that girl was tough as nails.”

“Just maybe,” Kokichi giggled. Pretty much…every regret Kokichi had from their wedding day led back to Tengan, one way or another, so the vast majority of blame was left with him…but he and Kaito had still had problems between them. Things that wouldn’t have been solved or okay because Kokichi hadn’t been drugged, or if their friends had been safe and celebrating with them. But even with all that fuckery…they had figured it out. 

Kokichi was thankful for his new friend making the future less scary. He was even more thankful for his husband that stuck around and decided to walk each step of that future with him, even when it felt impossibly hard. 

Looking around at the dancers, Kokichi shrugged a little. “I can’t really speak for how it feels for anyone else. Maybe there is pressure to focus more on the bright things. But I really don’t think anyone would get pissed if someone wanted to focus on memories through sad or darker times. It’s the same thing as before… It can be dangerous, to only dwell on that stuff, but ignoring it is ignoring entire parts of a person. And this isn’t a party for the living.”

It was for the dead, and the memories of them the living still carried with them. Happy, fun, sweet, romantic memories…but sad, annoyed, incensed ones too. 

Kokichi settled as Kaito started sharing some of his memories, smiling softly as he imagined the scene. Peace amid dark chaos, someone really thriving in a more unconventional community…

(The pervasive smell of whiskey, a memory vague and half-forgotten.)

Grinning, Kokichi nudged Kaito’s leg with his foot. “If you’re calling someone a wild child? She must’ve been as much of an event as you were. I won’t push you to suggest something, but…if you know, what were some of the songs she liked?”

“God sent me as Karma,” Kaito said automatically, barely even having to think about it, “She’d sing along to that one at the top of her lungs. What else… King of the Damned. She always wanted me to sing that one, I think she liked the irony of it. Oh, what was that one song called, god, I want to say it was called ‘Pink’ but that feels so on the nose. Was this really good song about bubblegum-type goths… she had this one song?” Kaito mused, eyes lidded now, lost in the memory, “I hated it. She loved it though, she’d sing it softly to herself when we were just out and about, humming it or whispering the odd lyric. I probably remember every word just because of how many times she requested it or I heard her sing it…” 

Kaito stiffened slightly, giving the band a wary look, “I mean… I could ask the band if they know it. They probably don’t, so that’d be fine. Do you guys know the song ‘I can’t sleep’, ‘Kichi? Sound familiar?” Kaito asked, before humming a few bars, “I don’t know if it’s the most appropriate song for this though… it’s all about coping with the idea of death and how there’s, like…” Kaito face grew a little grim, “no afterlife or anything like that. She was a pretty strong atheist. She was like you, she took comfort in it. I never tried to make her believe, but she was always so casual to talk about it around me and it’d really depress me…”

Kokichi chuckled softly. Even not knowing what the songs really sounded like, just from the titles and the imagery Kaito had spun before, Kokichi could paint a vivid picture in his mind. 

(He had only ever met Sahara at one of the lowest points of her life. Still…he could still connect that woman with that picture. He could only hope she had been happier before, and not just wearing her misery like a pin of pride.)

“The worst they can say is no, if they don’t know it,” Kokichi said softly, an encouraging note in his voice, though he had been serious about not pushing Kaito into suggesting a song. “I don’t know it, but…I mean, they’ve already played a few songs I’d never heard before. I can imagine that if they volunteered for this, they have a pretty wide repertoire.”

As for the song’s subject matter… Kokichi’s expression softened. “...we’ve learned that enough, recently. How difficult it can be when just…opposing ideas of faith give each person comfort. …I know I did that to you too. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Kaito said immediately… before glancing down at Kokichi, “Thank you, though. I mean… I get why people talk about that stuff around me. I’m insufferable. I gotta imagine the urge to set me straight must have been overwhelming.” Kaito chuckled grimly… before shrugging a little, “...I feel a little bad now, honestly. You, Sahara, Shuichi even… I can’t understand the comfort you all took in that idea, but I do understand the comfort was real to you. Now, one way or another, it’s been confirmed for all of us, and…I just feel guilty. I didn’t think I would, I sort of imagined that when we died and we ended up in the trials, that’d be such a moment of relief, just… for everyone. Even the folks who wanted nothing. But… now I’m not so sure… maybe some people really didn’t want to go on. Or to have trials. Or…”

Kaito sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to massage the tension out of his shoulders, “...maybe there really is a comfort in just not knowing either way. Cause once you know, dealing with the reality of it is… really hard. Either way you look at it. I guess I just hope that if she was upset when it happened, that it wasn’t, like… devastating. I hope she’s happy.”

(...she and the brown-haired girl hadn’t died with the others…)

Kokichi sighed softly. “I think you may be right. Temp told me once that faith becomes difficult, once you know. That it’s something different. And for a lot of people, faith, specifically it being unconfirmed and intangible…it’s important. And I say a lot of people but…just because someone doesn’t have faith in a god or something religious doesn’t mean they don’t have faith. It’s just something that doesn’t have as ubiquitous terminology for it anymore.”

“...I hope she’s happy too,” Kokichi murmured, taking Kaito’s hand in his own. “It sounds like there’s a lot of help for people on the other side… I hope she’s gotten what she needs, and has peace.” He smiled crookedly. “Maybe getting to hear all those songs one last time. Have another good belting session.”

The current upbeat dance song ended, and most of the band members got up, the guitarist picking up a different guitart than they’d been playing for the other songs. The person who had been playing the bass before leaned over the loft railing, their messy black hair falling over a shoulder. 

“Oi, Tetsu! Get your whistlin’ lips up here!”

With a laugh, the tall man who had been dancing with the loud man before jogged his way up to the loft, the band chatting for a few moments, before the guitarist started strumming something much more subdued than the last few songs.

Kaito raised an eyebrow at Tetsu, certain he had misunderstood… before practically fucking giggling in startled wondered. Rubbing Kokichi’s hand lightly with his thumb before leaning over and whispering, despite the mood of their conversation, “Wow. Alright, I gotta give it to him. The guy can whistle.”

It was a sweet, simple jaunty tune. Kaito imagined it was the sort of thing best suited for campfires. Just an easy song to hum along with, didn’t need a ton of instruments, though he saw all the band members doing little flourishes. Kaito listened to it a bit with a soft smile… before he startled, suddenly reminded as he whispered to Kokichi, “The bartender wanted me to tell you that they’re excited to have you here, by the way. Sorry, forgot that bit.”

With an impressed nod, Kokichi hummed his agreement, watching the band--and this Tetsu now--perform. It wasn’t a tune he particularly recognized, but there was something that chimed in his brain as familiar. Given the simplicity of the melody, maybe it was just something he’d heard on the street before. 

While it was certainly impressive watching the guy whistle, Kokichi let his eyes wander the crowd. A few dancers still remained on the floor, some folks just swaying to the slow, easy beat, the man Tetsu had been dancing with before looking up at the loft with a wide grin. Kokichi’s expression softened as he spotted a group over by the far wall, someone dabbing at their eyes, even as they had a smile on their face. 

Perhaps a loved one’s favorite, then. 

Perking as Kaito addressed him again, Kokichi blinked before going pink, laughing softly. “Aw geez… Well, I’m flattered by the attention. Not exactly helping the nerves before I go up, if people know me here, though.”

Reaching down to pick up his own sugar glass, Kaito gave it another testing lick– ngh– before immediately putting it down again, his arm still around Kokichi’s shoulder as he reached around himself to get his ale again. Not putting any weight on his husbands body, just really just wanting to keep his hand on Kokichi’s shoulder as the surface counter took most of Kaito’s weight. 

“Babe, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you and I have literally never gone to a place without people recognizing you.” Kaito smirked, giving his husband a fond look, “I think that’s the drawback of your face being plastered everywhere for PR campaigns, growing up… not to mention some people apparently have very modern pictures of you hanging around, ‘stud’.”

Sipping at his ale again, Kaito sighed, “...I don’t think I’m gonna request those songs for Sahara. Again, I feel like it’d probably just, I don’t know… well, there’s a ‘vibe’ so far, here. I don’t want to be the Luminary who couldn’t take a hint and went up asking for a really depressing song or a super pissed off song. I know no one’s gonna, like, boo me out of the roadhouse or anything, but I can read a room, ya know?”

If Kaito saw someone else do it first, maybe he’d reconsider. For now, he just didn’t want to be the one who did it. It wasn’t even really his holiday, after all.

“Okay, you’ve told me the story before, but. Remind me the story of the song you’re gonna sing, babe. It was your friends friend's favorite song? Is it a well known song in Dicea?” Kaito’s eyes suddenly lit up as he asked with a grin, “Gonna play it on the piano? My sneaky little pianist?”

Kokichi went even pinker, his laugh tingeing embarrassed. “Shut up… I mean…you’re right. But sometimes I get lost in the crowd, you know? Having people recognize me already, and then being expectant when I go up… Well, I guess people would notice when I went up anyway…” He let out a little sigh. Such were the struggles of being famous. 

Giving Kaito a little smile, Kokichi nodded. He really didn’t think there would be a problem requesting darker songs, but if Kaito didn’t want to, he didn’t have to. In all… “I’m glad you told me, though. I never met her-”

(Not really.)

“But…I feel like that just adds to my perception of who she was. I know it doesn’t mean the same thing to you, and…maybe then it’s all just self-serving. But I do believe there’s something special in keeping someone’s memory alive like that. Sahara, who felt comfortable and happy listening to people scream about the tougher experiences of life.” It wasn’t exactly the same, but Kokichi still lifted the cup of water Kaito had gotten him in a small toast to the woman. 

As for his own tribute, Kokichi just snorted softly. “No way. Like…it’s not like a folk song that everyone knows, but it got popular a few years back. Mostly because of how absurdly difficult it is to sing. Despite being…kinda sad? A lot of people sing it for laughs, ‘cause it’s inevitable that you’ll trip over your words.”

“I didn’t know Amaina either,” Kokichi smirked, “But…everything Miku said about her? She seemed like the kind of person who’d get a real kick out of watching the heir stumble and fumble his way through a difficult song like that. And…I’m happy to make someone laugh, even if it’s only theoretical.”

Kaito raised his cup with Kokichi’s, clapped it against the surface, before taking a long sip. To Sahara. His wild child.

“Amaina… that’s a pretty name.” Kaito mused, though for someone neither he nor Kokichi really knew anything about, there wasn’t much more he could say for her. Kokichi description of the small version of her that had sang and danced around in his head had sounded pretty extra and excitable, so maybe Amaina had been too. But, Kaito would sometimes hear exploits of what his own ‘little him’ got up too, and while a lot of it was pretty cute, Kaito had a hard time seeing it as a decent representation of himself. Maybe a very simple version of himself. Maki had said after a while she had started looking at the chibi as a version of Kaito stuck in his youth, maybe fifteen or sixteen, and how she perceived him had morphed because of that.

“...but I still had an amazing body, right?” Kaito had goaded, nudging Maki.

“Far better than you ever actually had at that age, yes.” Maki had teased. 

Maki had been right. Kaito had been jealous to hear of their spar, when she had brought it up. It sounded like it had been fun. He was only mildly annoyed that she had let little Kaito ‘win’. Maki never let him win. Guess he just wasn’t small and cute enough.

As for Kokichi’s song, “I feel like you sang something like that when you showed me your awe inspiring and deeply incredible gift at the piano.” Kaito mused, scratching his chin, “I know I couldn’t keep up with the lyrics. It’s not the rainy boots song, is it?”

Kokichi smiled softly and nodded. Their odd tie in history aside, Amaina’s story just…hit a little too close to home. Another person with a chronic illness that they had just…tried to make the most of life in spite of. A person that sounded like they loved hijinx and hare-brained schemes, saw things around them in the world that they didn’t really approve of, but realized the limits of what they could change. Who had a friend that they loved. Kokichi didn’t know the extent of it, and he never would, even if Miku showed him every memory of her friend that she had, but…Amaina had a life that was worth celebrating. And sharing her sense of humor was something that Kokichi really wanted to do. 

“Hee, no, it’s not… It’s even faster, I’d say. Rainy Boots still has some slow parts, but Shun-Ran is just…fast. The whole time. S’why I didn’t wanna drink before I sing,” Kokichi nodded to the bar. “I’m gonna have a hard enough time saying words that fast, I don’t need my voice to crap out on the melody too.”

“Okay, but… should I only cheer a little? Or, like, a loooooooot??” Kaito asked, both teasing and half being serious, giving his husband an amused look as he said, “Like what level of Kaito enthusiasm is just gonna make ya turn pink and what’s gonna send ya running from the stage?”

Kokichi rolled his eyes a little and butted his head against Kaito’s arm. “...a little. If you cheer a lot I’m gonna get one word out then melt on the spot.”

Kaito sighed with all the wariness of someone who knows they’ve been given an impossible task, “I’ll do my best. But, I know you’re gonna do great.”

They sat and watched the band for a bit, people milling about and chatting at the music, a few earnest but entirely unwise people still trying to dance to it. Kaito found himself watching the whistler. Guy was tall… “Seriously, what is with the height thing in Dicea? One in every five people isn’t just taller than me, but, like, looms over me.” Kaito mused, glancing over his shoulder at Dolly, who was cheerfully chatting up some patrons, “There has got to be something in your water.”

Kokichi shrugged a little. “Don’t ask me. Or…maybe do ask me, since there are a lot of people around my height too. And not just kids. I have no idea what to make of it, if Diceans’ heights are just…more varied than you’d typically see in Luminary. There’s not any sort of evolutionary gene I’ve heard of that dictates height. Except for like…people getting taller on average since it’s easier to get food, as our communities get more industrialized and connected.”

With one last strum of the guitar, the song ended, Tetsu and the bassist who had called out to him before (the two of them did look quite alike, looking at them next to each other now) sharing a side hug before he hopped back down from the loft. It seemed like the band was shifting around for another new arrangement of instruments, and the woman with black and white hair settled at the piano again. She played a few short chords in a particular beat before Kokichi’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, this is mine!”

Hmmm… maybe it was the heat making people smaller then? Did that make sense? Kaito was one of the taller people he knew in Luminary, and while that was an entirely personal perspective, he always got the sense he was pretty tall in general there–

He startled, “Woah, what? Now, already? Wow, you were right, that didn’t take long. Oh, go, go, have fun!” Kaito said, briefly forgetting the setting he was in as he gently pushed Kokichi forward once his husband was off the stall, giving Kokichi a wide, excited grin before putting both hands to his mouth and shouting, “Yeah! Go ‘Kichi!” 

And so it started. 

Kokichi burned red as he made his up to the loft, a few people in the crowd laughing at the cheer, a few joining in, though there were a few people that startled before joining in with a louder cheer, people recognizing their prince. 

He…really didn’t want this to be about him. Just because he wanted to participate didn’t mean he wanted it to suddenly be Prince Kokichi’s Song Time. He was just…another person wanting to honor someone…

“Hey, you doin’ okay?” the black-haired bassist softly questioned, her gaze kind, but firm. “If you get too nervous, Kinme can take over. Otherwise…we’ll count you in after eight bars--you know where in the song that is?”

Taking a breath, Kokichi nodded. “Yeah, I know it. I’ll be alright.”

“Yeah!! Let’s hit it!” the woman at the drum set crowed, the same that had spoken to him before. With just a nod between the members, she hit the bass drum before counting in with the snares, the rest of the band coming in. And, just like the bassist warned, at eight bars, Kokichi took a breath. 

“I’m entirely covered by false images like faith / The phantoms that make me scared, pretending to know my real feelings / Even if I grasp something and try to destroy those illusions / And cool down my mind / It will just be sheer stupidity / I won’t pay attention to small fries / I, who pretends to be calm, will say / because I’m easy to get angry while keeping an eagle eye for opportunities.”

“Called in a spring storm / I cried soaked in heartbreaks / that’s such a conceit, isn’t it? / No matter what you say, I understand, however / The breath I exhale will surely become smoky and become the unpleasant thing blocking my view / The desire of wanting to be loved is a sin that has a sweet scent / Let’s drink up that wavering cider and say goodbye.”

Kaito hesitated as Kokichi began, frowning briefly.

…was that… Tradean? His ears strained, too confused to cheer for a second. Every now and again he thought he heard a word in common, but as soon as it was gone he wasn’t entirely certain if he had actually heard a common word or if it had just been a Tradean one that had bled into another one to sound common. Woo’f that was trippy, it just sounded like noise to him…

… but fuck it, his husband was KILLING IT! “YEAH! SING IT BABE!” Kaito shouted, entirely forgetting his promise to keep his cheering reasonable, too caught up in the excitement of watching Kokichi give it his all. Fuck, how was he even breathing? Oh, shit, Kokichi might not even be breathing, Kaito should make certain there’s water ready for him. 

Glancing down, debating between leaving behind the glass sugar sticks or his ale, Kaito grabbed the sugar sticks and the water glass, abandoning his ale to move closer to the stage area. He had to dodge through the crowd a bit, but once he was near the front he paused and just grinned up at Kokichi, excitedly watching him as, around him, a few people cheered and a surprising amount of people tried to sing along. Poorly, but damn were they giving it their all. “Yeah, you got this Kokichi!” Kaito shouted, watching Kokichi clutch the microphone like it was the only thing keeping him from floating away. Singing his little prince heart out!

It wasn’t perfect. By far, it wasn’t perfect. Kokichi liked fast, upbeat songs as much as the next guy, and he liked singing them too, but it was hard keeping up without many pauses or slow parts to get your bearings in. Which was exactly why people took the song as a challenge, and a silly one at that, despite the song being about a certain type of hopelessness. 

Already red, Kokichi just burned more as he heard his husband’s voice in the crowd. He would try to find him, but…well, Kokichi was doing his best not to look at the crowd at all. He supposed that was a benefit of the band performing on the loft, along with the acoustics. 

“All the thoughts in me have dried, where’s the faith in that? / My anger has already disappeared long ago / No matter how I perform, I’m still completely ignorant / But still, this story keeps on without an ending / To you who still listens seriously without ever changing / I hope that it can reach you.”

“Sweared to ceasefire, my personality came off and fell down / Because now I’m ready to accept discouragement.”

Two more run-throughs of the chorus with a musical break in the middle for Kokichi to actually catch his breath, he took a deep one as the melody modulated up for the final iteration.

“I called you on purpose, for I’m dead already / my heart has rotten away / That’s such a conceit, isn’t it? / No matter what you say, I understand, however / Called you a fool, just like a burden / I looked at you and woke up / The desire of being loved is a sin that has a sweet scent / Let’s drink up that wavering cider then say goodbye / Goodbye to you, if we fall in love once more, let’s smile together again.”

Kaito tilted his head slightly at the lyrics. Maybe it was just Kokichi slowing down slightly at the end, maybe it was Kaito’s ears getting used to it, but he thought he actually got some of that. Well, bits and pieces anyway. Something something conceit, something something say goodbye. The last line coming in clearest, if only because, regardless if they had kept up or not, several people around him all screamed at the final beat, “GOODBYE TO YOU, IF WE FALL IN LOVE ONCE MORE, LET’S SMILE TOGETHER AGAIN!”

Hard to miss the lyrics when a dozen people at various beats all scream it around you. Kaito laughed a little– even if the lyrics gave him pause– before cheering up at Kokichi. 

In some ways, Kaito knew that was inappropriate, for literally every reason that Kaito found the idea of performing to show grief was deeply uncomfortable to him. He knew Kokichi probably wouldn’t appreciate this being some ‘victory’ on his part… but, well, everyone was laughing and smiling and having a good time, and regardless of the intention behind the song, it had been a good time for everyone else. Due in large part to Kokichi performing. And, as far as Kaito could tell, Kokichi had done well, so… 

Kaito literally bit his lip to keep from screaming out any more cheers, but in case Kokichi was ‘listening’, tried to feel as hard as he could in Kokichi’s general direction ‘YEAH! YOU DID IT!’

Even as he caught his breath at the end, Kokichi was still bright red, hiding his face a little at the cheers. He was happy he’d gotten through the song without just become a slurred mess, but…still. 

“Knew someone a bit of a trickster, huh?” the guitarist chuckled, as the band prepared for the next song. Kokichi caught the drummer giving him a grin and a wink as he looked over them. 

“A bit, yeah,” Kokichi smiled softly, giving them a nod of thanks before he climbed down from the loft. It had been hard to think about, while he was trying not to stutter over his words, but…they were a really good band. He hardly had to think about the music, just feeling it within him. 

…not quite like the other thing he felt.

Groaning softly, Kokichi pressed his face into Kaito’s body, just hiding for a moment as he met back up with his husband. “So that was just a little cheering?”

Kaito happily caught Kokichi, hands a little too full to hug him properly but still doing his best as he wrapped his arms around him, kissing the top of his head… before giving him a blank, innocent look, “Sorry, cheering? I tapped my feet a bit, but cheering… don’t think I did that… must have been one of your handsomely rugged adoring fans. Over-excited at how amazing you are.”

Kokichi let out a sigh, nosing at Kaito’s chest. “M just happy I didn’t flub so hard I had to miss an entire section. That was a little fun, but I’m certainly not gonna get up in front of a crowd like this again any time soon.”

Peeking out of the protective covering of Kaito’s chest, Kokichi tilted his head a little. “So…do you think you wanna stick around much longer?”

Kaito hummed a bit, looking around… before giving his husband a somewhat sheepish grin. “Do you want to stay here much longer? We can, if you want… some air sounds nice too.” he admitted, shrugging a little, “I don’t know if I’m ready to go back home, perse, but maybe a small walk again would be nice.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a look for a long few moments before giving a decisive nod. “Let’s take a walk, then. You feelin’ a nature-y walk or a business-y walk?”

Kaito grinned at that, mindlessly bringing the glass sugar up to lick it as he tried to decid– “Urgh. Kokichi, please take this thing away from me.” Kaito begged, giving the stick a wary look, “I keep forgetting what it tastes like and putting it in my mouth. Hooow about nature’y? Let’s go touch some trees.”

Kokichi chuckled as they ducked back out of the roadhouse, his ears not ringing with the difference in sound, because the band really hadn’t been that ear-splittingly loud, but still feeling the difference in the quiet. “I’ll take it~ I really can see how it isn’t your bag, but it’s pretty yummy!”

He wasn’t paying too much attention to it, but Kokichi started veering them towards one of the nature trails in town, knowing them enough to steer them home whenever they felt like they’d had enough. 

“...thanks for spending today with me, Kai-chan.”

“Thanks for letting me.” Kaito said, taking Kokichi’s free hand and squeezing it a bit. Kaito knew the town a bit better these days, but even still he mostly mentally checked out as to where exactly they were going when Kokichi led. Kaito had yet to get too terribly lost in this area. At least not for very long. Never longer than an hour. Only being lost for an hour is pretty good, really. 

As they walked, they let the warm afternoon sun warm them through the various shadings of the trees, the only sound for a little while the dirt compacting beneath Kaito’s heavy footsteps and and the occasional jostle of leaves and snapping of twigs beneath Kokichi’s light ones. There were often small reminders of the many small things that lived in the brush of the surrounding gardens, but in this exact moment Kaito couldn’t hear any sign of them. Just the sounds of themselves, moving through the area. 

Kaito wanted to say that he had enjoyed that more than he was expecting too, but it felt almost criminal to break the silence, and he swallowed the words for a while. It was only when Kaito heard the slight cracking sound of Kokichi getting impatient with licking his sugar stick that Kaito said, “I liked all of that a lot… though, Kokichi, what is that song about anyway? I only caught every other word, but…”

Kaito shrugged. Just being honest, as he said, “Kinda reminded me of us.”

It probably wouldn’t be dark by the time they headed home, the summer sun stretching days far into what would be the night, but it probably would be firmly evening when they did, regardless of how long they walked. A full day out on the town, though a little different than what that phrase usually meant. 

Kokichi liked it too. The sad parts, the hard parts, the happy parts, the calm parts… It was a good Remembrance, this year. More like what he felt the holiday was supposed to be, rather than how he spent it a lot of the time.

Kokichi looked over to Kaito as he broke the silence between them, and hummed shortly, thinking back to the song he’d sung. “It’s pretty poetic language, on top of being fast. For something like that, I think you can get a lot of interpretations out of it, but…”

“...I get the idea that…it’s an outlook that the world around you scorns sincerity, so you don a mask without really understanding it to protect yourself,” he hummed. “And then, because a mask never really stays a mask, your true self and sincerity withers away, until you don’t have anything left. And the song portrays that as just…a resigned truth.”

Pressing against Kaito’s side for a moment, Kokichi bopped his head against him. “...what were your thoughts on it?”

“Oh?” Kaito asked, thinking back to the song with that in mind, “Oh, yeah, I could see that… I mean, again, I didn’t really hear the whole thing but… I could see how the bits I did get were about masks and false personalities and losing a sense of self.”

“Honestly, my interpretation is probably too biased to say it was what the actual song was about, especially on a partial, one time hearing, but… I thought it was about someone struggling through the reincarnation process.” Kaito laughed, giving his husband a sheepish smile, “Okay, now that I hear myself say it aloud? It’s probably not about reincarnation. But I did get that sense of someone who’s pushed to let go of their life and start again, over and over and…just struggling to cope with the realities of that. Made me think of you.”

Kokichi blinked, before thinking back on the lyrics. The phantoms waging war against your heart, everything you try being stupid and futile, giving up after so long that anger has faded, only to plea to someone and wish to see them again…

A delicate, wavering smile turned upon Kokichi’s lips. “I…I think I can see that interpretation, yeah. In a way…losing a sense of self is sort of what I’m dealing with too; just not the way people typically mean that.”

“...wishing to smile again, if we should ever find and love each other again…that’s definitely a sentiment I’d make.”

“Yeah…” Kaito murmured, his grip on Kokichi tightening, ever so slightly… before he readjusted his grip to be more comfortable. Giving his husband a warm smile, “I don’t know if this is something you need to hear me say or not, Kokichi. It’s just something I gotta say, so… sorry for that. But…”

The warm look on Kaito’s face never waivered, as he said softly, “What you’re going through is really hard. The more I think about it? The harder it is. I wish these were problems I could take from you, Kokichi. I would if I could. You’re strong as fuck, but… that’s still a lot of weight on some pretty thin shoulders.” Kaito murmured, looking back down the path. His brow furrowed, expression a little grim, “I wish I could take it from you. I really do. It’s not fair, that the world keeps making you be this strong. That’s too much burden for one person…”

Kokichi looked up at Kaito, the warmth from his expression filling him as well, before he looked out on the path. His gaze lowering a little, becoming slightly blurred, but tears not spilling over. Just a little wet. 

Nellis had touched on it briefly. In his way of bombarding complaints, not exactly making them light-hearted, but barely skimming them so the depth couldn’t hurt. He’d groused that the goddess hadn’t fully thought things through, with the compounding Empathetic strength he gained with each cycle. But…there was more to it there that not just Nellis, but a lot of parts of him felt. 

It was too much burden for one person. For him, and for Aiichi, and for Fuse. And in some ways…even worse for him, because he could remember. In some ways better, because he could remember, and thus could find answers rather than just…being lost. 

And yet…

“...it’s why I’ve never really agreed with the concepts of traditional monarchies,” Kokichi said softly, squeezing Kaito’s hand. “Placing the burden of thousands of people and the land and their futures all on one person is…too much. That’s why spreading out the responsibilities of the top is important…or making smaller communities that have a shorter chain. I always thought we were going in a good direction, dispersing power like that.”

“...but it turns out that’s not necessarily true. Maybe it is, on a life by life basis…but…it’s hard to feel that way when I can remember.”

Letting out a little huff of a sigh, Kokichi stroked Kaito’s thumb with his own. “...I’m sure I’ve told you before how, to me, my duties as heir are…a never-ending, constant balancing game. How that challenge inspires me, more than becomes something discouraging.”

“But…” Kokichi chewed his lip a little, tentatively voicing something he hadn’t really thought through all the way, or even considered sharing with anyone else. “...my life, who I am…it’s like that, time…infinity. And there just…isn’t an end goal. Life doesn’t stop. So…in the plan…I’m going to be playing that game forever. And…”

“And that’s so fucking shitty.” Kaito said, gritting his teeth a little… before letting out a breath. “...maybe your… or, the goddess… maybe she feels the same way about it. That short chain thing? Maybe, to a god who lives forever, giving some humans godlike powers and influence was her way of doing that for us. Maybe to a god you seem like a good compromise to give people agency over themselves… but even if that’s true? And that’s me being super generous to the ‘goddess of wisdom’, cause I don’t think you’re wrong, so otherwise she needs to get it the fuck together or she’s really not that fucking wise.”

“But, what I was saying was… that’s so fucking hard. I… even if it is amazing? And it is. I wasn’t lying, when I was ‘looking for silver linings’, I think you and your life and what you’re doing are incredible…” Kaito sighed, and the sigh was a little shaky. Kaito clearly trying to keep his own emotions under control as he scowled, “It’s like… like a superhero lifting a massive weight over their head. Just because they can do it, doesn’t mean that shit isn’t heavy.”

Kokichi paused for a moment before letting out a short, quiet laugh. “I don’t think I used that exact metaphor, but I’m positive I’ve used that meaning with you guys before.”

He sniffed, rubbing his eyes a little, though still no tears fell. “...I dunno. Dicea didn’t always have a monarch, or a leader. And I know our cycle goes back past Aesc. I think Roxy needs to be the one to actually make a decision on our cycles… I won’t just…stop caring about my people, any time I come back…but maybe one day things will be different. And even if I have the burden and blessing of knowledge, what I’m expected to do with it won’t be as much. Maybe one day what people need from their government won’t be as much.”

Kokichi let out another short laugh. “...something tells me that I’m not the one who usually says this, but… I don’t care what her plan is. I’ll fight a god to stay with you for however long we want our forever to be. I think Dicea can manage. Maybe that’ll be my experiment.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a small look, at that…before chuckling along with him, “I give it a decade before you're bored and start jumping on that reincarnation train again. Well, maybe two decades if I pout at you enough. Shuichi’s pout is worth at least twenty years all by itself, so… forty-fifty years. Fifty years after we all pass on, that’s the most you’ll be able to keep still before paperwork starts calling your name again~”

“But I love the idea that we’d have longer.” Kaito admitted softly, looking back to the path. “...I don’t mind you saying we’ll have longer. I won’t hold it against you later. I promise.”

In fairness, it had only been a few months, and Kokichi knew he was, at times, driving his family crazy with how much he wanted to get back to work. He knew there was no version of him that wouldn’t care about Dicea, and there were very few examples in his lives of being able to stay away from work for long. Even Grimm, who had barely wanted the job, had still made their own organizations after retirement. It just…wasn’t who the Second Ouma was to sit still. 

Still…

“I want longer,” Kokichi said just as softly. “I want past every possible thing we could ever talk about, and past eons of just comfortable silence. I want the eternity we would’ve been promised. I want…no regrets, nothing left undone.”

Kaito’s chest warmed at that. That desire close to everything he could have ever wanted, from his husband… and like Kaito had said. He liked hearing it. He didn’t know if reality would reflect that… in a lot of ways, Kaito’s known for a long time that he’s always been Kokichi’s second love, though Kokichi would never be cruel enough to say it to his face. It was no easier now, to compete with Dicea, then it had been before Kaito had found out Kokichi had already invested thousands of years into the place, and, well, now? 

…Kaito loved Kokichi. It might tear him apart, sometimes, but he had already sworn to not get in the way of Kokichi being an Ouma. To not make choosing difficult. Wow, he hadn’t realized how serious that vow was going to be when he had made it, and it had been pretty serious even when he had said it, but wow… but either way. Kaito had meant it. 

But he didn’t mind hearing otherwise. 

Pulling up Kokichi’s hand, Kaito gave his pinky a small kiss… before he smirked at him, “Tsk. Greedy. Just gotta have everything, huh Kokichi? Little tyrant prince, has to have it all?”

“You’ve called it before,” Kokichi grinned, pulling Kaito’s hand over to give it a kiss as well. “Maybe I’m overcompensating but…I once didn’t think I deserved everything. If growth from that means I’m going to take a page from Maki-chan’s book and make the universe bend? Then everyone’s just gonna have to sit back and watch.”

-

The next day, Kaito used his free time to go look into local hotshops. 

He ended up going to the local blacksmith for advice. The man was a bit severe and more than a little unwelcoming, but Kaito had needed the information and just bore through it– somehow finding out that he was dating the candy lady Kaito was always buying from, which reminded him he should buy his family some treats while he was out. Eventually he got a recommendation to go hit, and headed that way.

To his surprise, it was on the way to the part of town Temp lived in, and Kaito stopped by to talk to him about the ritual stuff. Showing Temp the moonstone he had Maki hold, he asked if that would work and Temp had taken it, promising to get it looked at and confirmed. Kaito had spent a little bit of time poking Addie’s toes, to the baby’s bewildered horror, before sheepishly leaving Temp with a sniffly baby boy who had been increasingly shocked by reckless toe touching.

Kaito had found the hotshop and, at first a little shy, but then remembering he was trying to prove a point, determinedly asking the folks inside for advise on how to about using the tools. The people inside, increasingly concerned that this random red-head had come in and was apparently determined to use their most dangerous equipment with literally?? No idea what he was doing?? Had eventually talked Kaito down to putting on some protective equipment and being an assistant to a hotshop regular, assisting mostly being holding the pole and spinning it sometimes while they did sculpting stuff.

It had actually been… kinda fun! Kaito had found himself chatting with the person he was assisting– no one seemed to have any idea who he was, and Kaito had decidedly not said anything that might clue anyone in– and learning a little bit about what they were doing (sculpting little metal people, apparently) before chatting about their kids (or, well, Kaito had thought they were talking about kids, and then realized pretty later on they were talking about their dogs. He had tried to play it off like he had been talking about Chase the entire time) and by the time he had to go he had been worn out and sweaty and feeling pretty good about things.

He got a lot of looks on his way back to the castle from the hotshop. Enough to make him a little embarrassed, walking faster. He knew he looked kind of a mess, covered in sweat, but he hadn’t thought it was bad enough to stare. 

He took a shower when he got home, spent some time with his family, and the next day he took Tim out on their weekly father/son day, told him about the hotshop, saying they’d probably have to leave Chase leashed outside cause that wasn’t a safe place for a dog. Tim asked if Miyako could just watch Chase then. 

“...the… baby?” Kaito asked.

“Her and whoever’s watching her.” Tim responded back, deadpan.

So Kokichi had Chase and Miyako, and Kaito brought Shigeru and, he’d find, Namino and Tim to the hotshop. Kaito, armed with having met everyone there all of once, walked in like he was a regular, introducing people to his little squad and encouraging Shigeru especially, who seemed pretty determined to not have a good time. Actually, it was looking pretty bad for a while there, Shigeru making little snide remarks and clearly openly judging everyone’s work, the more Kaito pushed him at people.

But, then, Kaito got distracted with Timothy. Tim fascinated with the glass blowers, and Kaito joining him to help try twirling some glass, under the supervision of two glassblowers who seemed absolutely delighted to have a chance to show their skill off to a kid. And as Timothy was watching glass spin into a tight knot, Kaito had looked up and saw Shigeru trying his hand at hotmolding with some of the other craftsman, watching with fascinated eyes as fire erupted from between his hands as the metal shifted between his gloves.

It’s not like Kaito got that ‘you were right, I liked these people’ that he had been hoping for, and there was no guarantee that introducing a new fire-related hobby was going to stop the arsonist from arsonisting… but Kaito still felt successful, seeing Shigeru and Namino and Timothy have fun. Maybe not solving Shigeru’s problem, but at least succeeding in having a nice day out.

Excitedly telling Shuichi and Kokichi about his day as he took off his shirt to wipe some of the sweat still cacking him, intending to take a shower in a moment, it genuinely wasn’t until Shuichi asked, “So, are you going to spend time in the shrine tomorrow?” that Kaito remembered. And in truth, Kaito had stared at Shuichi blankly for a moment, wondering why he’d ask…

“...oh.” Kaito said softly, “...oh! Shoot, right. Right… shoot.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a soft look, still rubbing Miyako’s back where the two of them were perched in the window seat, enjoying the late-day sun. “It’s more than fine if you want some time to think about it, but…is there anything you want? And if you want the whole day, we’ve got Miya. We’re here to support you, hun, in whatever way that looks like.”

It had been a busy couple days. There was always a weird moment after a holiday, where you were trying to just go back to normal, but things weren’t quite there yet, and it was even harder when you had some new normals aside from that to get used to. 

Kokichi had had a long, emotionally intensive session with his therapist. He couldn’t quite explain everything, but framing it as just…him getting existential over his role as the heir got the point across enough. He had already apologized to Kaito about dropping the bomb on him, and making things all about himself when they were focus on Kaito, and pushing his remorse wouldn’t help anyone. They went over his grounding techniques again, not just for panic attacks, but for moderating his emotions, and…well, hopefully next time something big happened, Kokichi wouldn’t lose his head over it. 

And to add to everything…Kokichi was allowed to return to work on Monday. Not full days, and not only his father, but Hideki and Mikaku and practically every other person in administration he talked to said he could take extended leave still, but…well, like he and Kaito had talked about, Kokichi was eager to get back to work. He hadn’t started climbing the walls of their room in restlessness, but Kokichi was ready to get back to the office. If only for a handful of hours each day. 

Those were only the big things Kokichi had actually done something about. There was so much left to do on their plate, and the days ticked by faster than he could count. So…he just had to focus on taking each day as it came, and not stress out too much about planning. 

…which was why Kokichi hadn’t asked Kaito much about his parents’, er, death anniversary, until now. 

Kaito absentmindedly wiped at his skin, frowning. “...what do you… guys think I should do for it?” He asked sincerely, looking between his two partners, “I mean, the first anniversary of both your parents dying. That feels like A Thing, right? I should… I should do something for that. That feels like more than just a prayer in the shrine thing… you both have dead parents. What did you do when it was fresh?”

Shuichi gave Kaito a dry look at that, “I think I was learning basic addition and how to solve murders, right around then.”

“You’re a bad example. Kokichi! How do you celebrate dead parents?” Kaito tried again, looking to his husband. Before pouting, brow furrowed, “Wrong word. Honor. How does someone honor dead parents? Fertilizer? I gotta…. Fertilize some plants?” 

Kokichi smiled wanely at Kaito. “I don’t think I’m a great example either. When it was fresh, I was a baby. I didn’t even know I was missing anything. But even when I got a little older…I’m Dicean. You just saw how differently we express grief. Even if you did everything…I don’t think it would feel particularly honorable to you, right?”

Maybe there were a few more private things that would feel right to Kaito, though. 

Kissing Miyako’s head, Kokichi sighed softly. “It wasn’t really a…big event sort of thing. Just whenever it felt right to us--since I know my father does it too. Whenever we really miss my mom? I’d go up to the observatory and read through her journals. Or just sit in front of her painting and talk. Tell her all the things I’d want to tell her if she was alive. Dunno if that’d feel right to you, but…it’s an idea.”

“Right…” Kaito said, smiling lightly as Miyako made a happy baby sound at Kokichi’s affection, before rubbing the back of his neck. Sticky… “...I’ll be honest, guys, I don’t really know how I’ll feel tomorrow. I feel fine right now. Right now I can see a version of myself tomorrow that literally just goes and prays a bit and that’s it. Normal day. But, like… we all know I can be kinda extra about things sometimes. I might get ‘sad’.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes a little. “So… if you guys are okay with taking over Miya duty tomorrow, I might just make myself scarce tomorrow.”

“Especially because, after tomorrow, daddy goes back to work.” Kaito said, his voice cutesy and coo’ing, heading over to Kokichi and Miyako at the window and playing with Miyako’s toes a little– at least one little baby didn’t mind little toe pushes– as he coo’d at her, “Daddy’s gonna go be a big cool leader for a while, Miyako~ and when Dada goes back to school in the fall to be a cool detective, Dad’s gonna get to spend more time with Miyaaaaa~ little baby dad and Miya tiiiiiime~” Kaito coo’d, before looking up at them, “So you guys mind if I disappear tomorrow?”

Kokichi nodded, giving Kaito a soft look…though a more reprimanding one as Kaito made fun of his own emotions. It was a total tossup how tomorrow would go. Maybe it wouldn’t really hit Kaito more than any other day. That same ‘not real’ feeling he’d talked about.

And maybe it would. 

All three of their parents had been murdered. In some ways, Kokichi thought he was the ‘luckiest’ if such a thing could be for a parent’s murder, because he had been so young that it had been years before he understood what really happened at the riot, let along understood at all what a mother was, and that his was gone. And…well, it had been a riot. No one would ever know who in particular had killed Miyako Ouma, and those who had instigated the riots had long-since been punished, if they hadn’t fallen to them as well. Kokichi had been left in a world past shock, into one where there was only grief left. Still not a simple thing to cope with, but…easier, in some ways. 

Shuuichi had been old enough to understand, even if the full truth was something he’d only recently discovered. But he had also been old enough to understand that the system that had killed them would kill him too if he spoke up about it. And when the dust settled…he had coped with bitterness, writing his parents off as idiots who got themselves killed and irresponsibly left a child, who, by luck, had managed to land a better life than many in his situation. Even knowing the truth now, Shuuichi barely remembered his parents, and had spent a long time not caring about the concept enough to grieve. 

Kaito knew what happened, and the exact person that had killed his parents. There was no fog of innocence or ignorance, and there was no uncertainty. In any other case, Kaito would’ve gotten his closure through revenge, the path he had grown up believing in. But he couldn’t, against his brother, and Kaito had struggled with that. Was probably still struggling with it, in moments where it hit him. 

He also had a full childhood of memories with his parents, their absence in it included. There was no imagining who they would’ve been to him--he had gotten it. Sure, there could be thought experiments about what could’ve changed to make them better parents, but…that didn’t change the life that had happened. 

Kaito had just enough clarity to make it hurt. And…tomorrow, it might hurt. 

With a soft chuckle, Kokichi grinned at Miyako before giving Kaito a nod. “Anything you need, Kai-chan. We’ll take care of Miya, and…whatever you end up doing? We’ll support you. Even if that looks like just…hanging out at home, while you’re on your own.”

Kaito grinned at that, giving Kokichi a quick kiss on the cheek, “Thanks beautiful. Handsome?” Kaito asked, standing up straight, “Anything from your end?”

Shuichi hummed a bit… “... do you think there’s a possibility you’ll end up drunk tomorrow?”

Kaito’s lips thinned a little, going a little crooked as he seemed to think about it. “Yeah.” he admitted, “There’s a possibility.” 

Shuichi sighed. “There’s a part of me that wants to ask you that if you’re going drinking, to take Maki with you…”

Kaito’s eyes flickered away at that. Something uncomfortable on his expression. “Yeah? Cause, honestly, handsome, that’s its own problems, isn’t it? I don’t know what Maki’s doing tomorrow, but she might be celebrating.”

“She might be.” Shuichi admitted, “But she’d also watch out for you. And I think if you're going to be drunk, not just drinking? Maybe get a hotel room, tomorrow night.”

Kaito’s eyebrows shot up a little, “You wouldn’t want me to come home?”

Shuichi nodded towards Miyako, “Our little miss here might be more likely to notice you if you’re in the castle, and I don’t know what your brain looks like to an empath drunk. Kokichi, have you ever read a drunk mind?” Shuichi asked, “I’m not trying to punish you, Kaito, or to keep you away from us. I just want you to sleep it off safely before you do.”

Kaito scratched his chin at that… before nodding. “Okay, okay. I don’t even know if I’m going to drink tomorrow at all. Again, I seriously might be fine and just end up coming back here early. But if I go drinking, I’ll… I’ll ask Maki to come. Who knows, maybe talking about that stuff over some drinks will be a good thing, since this isn’t really something we’ve talked about,” Kaito realized, heading to the bathroom, “and she’ll keep me responsible either way. Alright, I’m gonna take a shower, and then afterward what do you guys think about playing a board ga–”

“Also, Kaito.” Shuichi said. His voice stern enough to make Kaito pause, looking back at him. “... I don’t want you to accept any phone calls from them. Either of them. Even if they have good intentions, it’s just going to hurt you. Honestly, if you give me permission, I’ll go make certain right now that if they call, no one is even going to tell you.”

Kaito’s eyes were a little hollow. Something in them darkening, lost in his head… before he looked away. Rubbing the back of his neck, “...if Byakuya or Kaede call, I’d want to know about it…”

“Tomorrow.” Shuichi insisted, “We can ask the administrators to hold any messages to you for tomorrow. You don’t owe them anything.”

Kaito sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, pressing against his eyes… before grinning at Shuichi, “Alright. Fair enough. If you wouldn’t mind asking the guys down at the phone room to hold any messages I get tomorrow, handsome? I can respond to anything the next day, there’s no real harm in that.”

It’d be incredibly rude to ignore Queen Kaede’s call if he could feasibly reach it… but, well. Kaede wouldn’t hold it against him. And Byakuya…

… Byakuya would have some really, incredible balls if he called tomorrow.

Or an inflated sense of ego and an entire lack of empathy.

Yeah. Kaito shouldn’t accept that call.

Besides, it was worth it to watch Shuichi’s face light up, Kaito taking his advice. Shuichi nodded, standing up and hurrying over to Kaito to reward him with a small kiss, before saying, “I’ll go tell them now then. I’ll tell Maki about tomorrow too.”

“Thank you, Shuichi. Always looking out for me.” Kaito said softly, kissing him back, before watching Shuichi hurry off. Kaito let out a little sigh when the door closed behind him, “...tomorrow’s gonna be fine. I won’t be irresponsible tomorrow.” Kaito said, looking to Kokichi. “The hotel and all that stuff is just a worst case scenario. I’m not gonna act crazy.”

Kokichi frowned softly, before he shook his head. “I mean…not on purpose. I have been around drunk people, though, and it’s not, like…uncomfortable being around them or anything.”

He might’ve said he wanted to support Kaito coping in any way he wanted to, but…well, drinking to excess was one of the lines, there. Not no drinking at all! Even if Kokichi was a little wary about sad drinking, and especially with Kaito’s history, it wasn’t a warning sign if Kaito wanted to have a few drinks tomorrow. But for him to get drunk on a day with the potential to be so emotionally charged…

It probably was a good call to ask him to spend the night somewhere else if that happened. 

As was delaying any calls. 

Kokichi’s expression darkened a bit before he smoothed it out, looking back at Miyako. Byakuya had no business calling tomorrow. As far as Kokichi knew, which in fairness, wasn’t the whole story, Byakuya had never properly addressed his murders to Kaito. Just…literally anything he could say tomorrow was…bullshit. The kind of stuff that would make Kokichi want to start preparing a trip to Novoselic right then and there just to kick his ass. 

And Kaede… She hadn’t been the one to do it. She had planned for Leon and Sayaka’s deaths in at least one iteration, and she had benefited from their deaths. But she at least had the sense not to be gleeful or satisfied with their murders. But Kokichi had a feeling anything she’d say would be a ‘it’s for the best’ type of speech and…Kaito didn’t need that either. Not when he wasn’t on any sort of political stage, and he was just a man grieving his parents. 

Anyone else who would think to call…well, Kokichi would just hope they would understand Kaito getting back to them the day after. 

Kokichi echoed Kaito’s sigh when Shuuichi left, and gave him a nod and a small smile. “I trust you. To take care of yourself, and to get help when you need it. You’re a sensible person, love.”

“Thanks babe.” Kaito grinned, giving his husband a little wave before heading to the shower.

-

When Kaito woke up the next day, he still felt fine. When he played with Miyako for a bit, he still felt fine. When he kissed his husband, he still felt fine. When he kissed his fiance, he squeezed his ass, got scolded by a flustered Shuichi, and honestly felt great. It was a good day, and it was made better when he saw Timothy on his way to the shrine. Chatting with his kid a bit, Kaito decided to go eat breakfast with him instead of going straight to the shrine, and Kaito listened with a wide grin as Timothy explained that Cali and Kim really wanted to see the hotshop, so they were going to bully Uncle Hajime into bringing them. 

“Cause you’re busy today, right?” Tim asked, something mildly hopeful in his voice… and Kaito felt his heart melt when Tim seemed disappointed when Kaito agreed, yes, he was busy that day. “Cause of the King and Queen?”

“You got it in one, kid.” Kaito said, staring at Tim with unfiltered adoration, reaching over to ruffle his hair and ignoring Timothy’s annoyed expression, “Awww, I’m sorry, any other day and I’d take you guys myself. But, you’re right. I got–” Kaito waived his hand vaguely, shrugging, “--parent stuff to deal with… hey, Timothy, do you remember your parents? Your birth parents?”

Timothy shook his head no, and Kaito was a little ashamed at how relieved he felt at that, “Alright, well. Just know, if you ever wanted to honor them in some way, you can tell us. It’s not silly.”

“I didn’t think it was.” Timothy said, before saying sagely, “We held a memoriam for Mr. Ainara.”

“...the… the guard you thought you killed?”

“We thought he’d appreciate it. Kimiko set up the ceremonial summoning circle.”

“...” Kaito peered at Timothy, “Did you try to summon the spirit of Mr. Ainara?”

“We asked him if he felt anything later. He says he might have.”

“I’m going to sit down with you and the girls and talk about why we don’t play with weird supernatural shit.” Kaito muttered. “No more of that.” Timothy nodded, and Kaito had never felt more blatantly lied to in his life. 

By the time he got to the shrine, he was still in a great mood. Kneeling in front of his alter, Kaito gave the customary “Atua who loves us”, before quickly going into a spiel to Atua about how “Timothy wanted me to take him and his friends to the hotshop! And not even because he had no other options, he just wanted to spend more time with me! Tim wants to spend time with me, Atua! Any day now, I’m telling ya, he’s gonna tell me he loves me. I will earn my sons love! It’s just taking time.” Kaito muttered, rubbing his hands together in an almost conspiracy like motion, eyes narrowing as he chuckled, “Just you wait. When he inevitably ends up in therapy, he’s only gonna complain about me a little. Fucking winning!”

“Alright, what else…” Kaito mused, before remembering, “Oh! Right! Also, please… send my love to my parents. Please look after them in their trials, I’m…” Kaito’s grin strained, “Sure they’re doing great. Um… what had been their binding animal… it had been something exotic, hadn’t it? I think it had been some type of big cat… well, anyway, I hope their binding animal is guiding them truly.”

Kaito tried to think of something else to say, and came up blank… he fidgeted in his seat a bit, tapping at his knees. What else, what else… “Oh! We’re gonna do the thing for Addason soon–”

There was a knock at the door.

Kaito wasn’t surprised to see Maki, actually. “Hey~” Kaito grinned.

Maki raised an eyebrow, “Hey.” She responded back, arms crossed, “I heard I’m babysitting you today.”

“Ugh, no, fuck that.” Kaito frowned, shaking his head, “I feel fine. It’s just another day, all said and done… but!” Kaito smirked, leaning against the edge, “I have the day all to myself today. Just because I’m not falling all over myself doesn’t mean my partners would resent me taking it… I think.” Kaito said, eyes flickering uncertainly. 

“They probably wouldn’t.” Maki agreed, tilting her head, “So?”

“So! Fuck babysitting or being ‘sad’ or any of that stupid bullshit!” Kaito grinned, eyes wide with excitement, “Let’s go have a day on the town! Like we used too!” Kaito said, practically bouncing on his heels as he said, “Put on something fun, we’ll go scour the scene! Be young and stupid for a bit!” Kaito said, before leaning in and whispering conspiratorially, “No boredom from Shuichi or tutting from Kokichi? Come ooooon. You’re tempted, right?”

Maki’s raised eyebrow only sharpened, her folded arms tightening as she said suspiciously, “Are you just avoiding thinking about it?”

“Pff, no. I was literally just thinking about it, I’m fine.” Kaito said dismissively, “Come on, let’s do it. Maki and Kaito, out on the town~” Kaito said, wiggling his hips and moving his shoulders, grinning at her, “Eeeeeh?”

Maki stared at him for a long time… before just sighing, rolling her eyes, “Sure. I still think you’re in denial, but why not. Go get dressed.”

Kaito paused, looking down at himself, “I did get dressed…”

“You really have lost your touch–”

“Alright I’ll go get something nicer shut up!”

-

Dressed up a little– nothing too fancy, just some of their nicer casual outfits– Maki and Kaito headed out into the bright, blue–

“Morning.” Maki sighed, as the two immediately found themselves with no idea where to go, Maki leaning against a tree while Kaito squatted down in the dirt next to her, reading a map on his legs. “We started our ‘day out in town’ at ten. What are we supposed to find out here this early, Kaito?”

“Hold on, hold on, I’m…” Kaito peered at the map, frowning, “...oh! There’s a place called Pins and Needles! That sounds cool!”

Maki leaned down, reading over Kaito’s shoulder, “That’s a sewing store.”

“...” Kaito squinted at it, before cursing lightly to himself. “Come on, there’s gotta be something fun to do this early… maybe an obstacle course somewhere? You up to challenging our bodies? Like a… rock climbing wall or…”

“You want to have our ‘wild day out’ be rock climbing?” Maki asked dryly. 

“I need solutions, Maki, not sass.”

Maki sighed, reading over the tiny three turned pamphlet map… before pointing at that, “What is that?”

Following her finger, Kaito read, “...Rage Room?” he murmured, brow furrowing, “...that can’t be as cool as it sounds. Watch, it's going to be, like, a therapy office.”

“It’s over in the warehouse district.”

“Rage Room… alright. Let’s try it out.” Kaito grinned, “Though, I’m still betting a gold that it’s an out of the way therapy group for anger management.”

“You don’t have the gold to spare.”

“I’ll ask Timothy for a loan.”

“I’ll tell him not to lend to sketchy people.”

“Hah hah, very funny.”

-

Maki and Kaito stared, wide eyed, at what looked like a landfill behind a small, shack-like building. In the distance, there was shouting and the occasional, loud SMASH sound, along with cheers. The shouts were lost to the small labyrinth of random crap that made the area, as the bored attendant smacked some gum and said, “You guys ever do this before?”

“...uh. No…” Kaito said, watching wide eyed as over one of the walls of junk, he saw what looked like a vase fly into the air and crash somewhere in the distance. Someone laughed. “What is this?”

“You guys a silver a piece?” The attendant asked, and when they nodded, said, “We provide goggles and gloves and all the junk you can break, for as long as you feel like breaking junk. Only rule is you gotta stick to the area we designate for you, and you have to wear these jackets.” She said, pointing to some thick, puffy jackets of various colors hung up next to her, “They won’t make you impervious to harm, so you still have to be careful, but it should make critical injuries slightly less likely. Just try not to hurt yourselves breaking things.”

“You literally just break things here?” Kaito mused, staring at the landfill looking area in wonder. “That’s a thing?”

“Thaaat’s a thing.” The attendant said boredly. 

Kaito looked to Maki, who shrugged. Two silver later, and the two were in their designated area. The sounds of cracking and shattering and voices happening around them, but otherwise the area private, as Kaito looked around at what was available. Maki idly picking up a bottle and, testingly, throwing it at the ‘wall’. Kaito jumped as it shattered behind him, looking over his shoulder to see the shards on the ground, before looking at Maki, “Well?”

Maki shrugged, “It’s breaking stuff. I don’t know how much rage I’m letting out though.”

“It does feel a little backwards, doesn’t it?” Kaito mused, finding a stick and hefting it up, looking it over. Looked like it might have been part of a door frame once. Swinging it around a bit, listening to the thin wood whistle, as he said, “You go out to have a nice day, and decide to head to the raaaage room to let off steam? I mean…” Kaito paused, listening to the laughter and cheers around them as things broke, “They don’t sound enraged.”

“They probably think breaking things is novel.” Maki mused. “That stick’s going to break if you hit it with something.”

“Ha! Yeah.” Kaito grinned, looking around for something to hit, before seeing a mirror. Heading over to it, Kaito gave a dramatic yell, swinging down at the mirror–

SNAP, THW-ACK! Kaito winced as the stick broke in half and immediately the broken piece flew back over his shoulder, almost hitting him in the face. Kaito looked over at the broken piece, before looking down at the mirror… “Wow! I only left a scratch! Mirrors are surprisingly strong.”

“It was a weak stick.” Maki said dismissively, idly watching as Kaito went looking for something else to throw at the mirror.

Maki was less invested in this idea, more content to watch Kaito do it as he dug a book out of the pile and, laughing to himself, tried throwing that instead. “Mirror beats book! Man, something has to break this thing…”

“Try something with a harder edge.” Maki shrugged, watching him search. “...is this all leading to something?”

“Like what?” Kaito asked, seeing a glint of silver and pulling out, “Oh SHIT I found a PIPE!”

“Some sort of breakdown.” Maki said bluntly, watching Kaito practice swinging the pipe, “You know, before, if you had done this, I would have thought maybe you really were fine. But this year–”

“This year I’ve been a whining, crying bitch who keeps fucking acting like the world is caving in on him?” Kaito said, smirking at Maki as he laid the pipe on his shoulder confidently, “Yeah, shocking news, Maki. That is not my favorite version of myself. I’m not going through the week going like, ooooh, what am I gonna break down TO-DAY OVER!” Kaito said, shouting as he hefted the pipe, throwing it at the mirror with a wide, edged grin. His smile widening and showing off his canines as he watched the mirror shatter. He panted a bit, staring at it… before his eyes fluttered and his body calmed, as he said, “I’ll always regret not getting a hit in on Nao.”

“Yeah.” Maki said. Watching Kaito look around some more, looking for the next satisfying thing to pull from the rubble, “What brought it to mind?”

“Pulling the stick.” Kaito admitted, shifting through the items. “My immediate thought was ‘not as good as my other stick’. Sturdy, a nice shape, felt heavy in my hands… that was a great stick. I could have knocked all of her teeth out with it.”

“You could have.” Maki agreed, raising an eyebrow as Kaito pulled a plushie out of the debris, “That seems hard to break.”

“What would you do, rip it up?” Kaito murmured, giving the plushie a concerned look, before looking around… “Let’s make it a throne. It’ll be the King Plushie.”

“Sure.” Maki said, looking around for things that might make a decent throne. 

The two worked in silence for a bit. Kaito found a broken door to make the back of the throne, and they found some cement blocks to steady it. After that it was finding a bunch of little items to make up the massive armrests, in comparison to the doll, before Kaito started to twine some wood together, and in a stroke of inspiration, put some of the mirror shards on the twined wood to make a sparkling crown. 

The throne assembled, Maki put the doll onto the throne, and Kaito put the crown onto its head, and the two stepped back and admired their work. “It’s beautiful.” Kaito said, “We’re artists, Maki-roll.”

“Hmm.” Maki agreed, sounding pleased. “...I wish I could have hit Byakuya at least once, too.”

“Oh, fuck, I’d pay any amount of gold to hit Byakuya.” Kaito muttered. His hands twitching as he said, “Just one, just fucking once… they all got away with it, Maki.”

“No they didn’t.” Maki said, “You’re just focused on the ways they did. A lot of them are far worse off now.”

“And they still got away with it.” Kaito murmured. His eyes burning red a little, as he grit his teeth. Balling up his fists as he growled, “They all got away with it. Everyone in our lives who hurt us. None of them paid. No one fucking paid.”

“Itch doesn’t have his dick.” Maki said, “And Tom’s missing a lot of fingers, though they put some of them back on, which was frustrating.”

Kaito laughed weakly at that. A few tears falling as he gave Maki a grateful look, “I know… and, thank you for that. I know you did your best… Aba lost her son. She probably doesn’t see it as any big loss, but she should, because he’s a chubby little munchkin with the biggest blue eyes and that white curly hair and he’s perfect and he’s so much better off without them.” Kaito snapped again. Turning to look back at the doll on its throne of garbage, “She doesn’t get to keep him. I’ve got him. Fuck her.”

“Hm.” Maki hummed. Nodding, “You’re right, that is her loss. Maybe don’t ever bring that up around anyone else though.”

Kaito laughed at that, giving her a sheepish look, “Sounded crazy even to you?”

“Yeah. Taking care of infants shouldn’t be considered a vengeance plot.” Maki shrugged.

“It’s not, it’s not… just a…” Kaito shrugged, “It’s just something I tell myself sometimes, when I’m feeling bitter and angry. But, yeah, obviously no. Still makes me feel better sometimes.”

“Hm.”

“...I don’t feel bad about my parents today.” Kaito mused. Staring at the doll and the throne, “Isn’t that stupid? Sometimes when I think about them, I get so sad that I feel dizzy, Maki. Like I just want to lay down and curl up and wait for the sickness in me to go away. It feels like acid in my stomach and sludge in my chest, and I can barely believe I’m going to make it another hour, let alone the rest of my life feeling like that about them… and today, when I’m supposed to be sad? I just… don’t feel anything.”

“Maybe it’s too much expectation.” Maki offered. 

“Yeah, maybe.” Kaito said, sighing as he lost his enthusiasm for breaking things, “You wanna leave King Plushie and his throne there for the next folks who get this spot?”

“Sure.” Maki said, glancing at the sun, “We killed a few hours. Any idea what you want to do next?”

“Absolutely none… is it too early to start drinking?”

“It’s noon, so probably.”

“Ugh… alright, let’s go get lunch somewhere.” Kaito said, before turning to the plushie and, bowing low, “By your leave, your grace?”

Maki bowed next to him to the King Plushie. The King didn’t say anything, but eventually they left anyway.

-

They had grabbed some food, and gone clothes shopping as they ate. Looking at outfits and systematically judging and turning down all of them. Maki had plenty of coin, but Kaito couldn’t really afford to go on a spending free, and when you don’t have any money and you’re clothes shopping, suddenly everything is Very Ugly. 

“Who the hell thought that cut was gonna be cute?” Kaito mused, staring at the white jacket with the low waistline and the puffy sleeves, “Anyone who looks good in this already looks good in anything. Otherwise that’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“It is pretty bad.” Maki said, the two of them leaving the shop and moving on, Maki almost finished with her kebab. “I’m still trying to figure out the hat.”

“I think it was meant to be a sun hat.”

“It was meant to be a makeshift shelter, based on how wide the brim was.” Maki said, shaking her head. “Impractical.”

“I could see it going well with some dresses.” Kaito said with a shrug. “...sometimes I want to celebrate that Togami’s dead.”

“No you don’t.” Maki replied simply.

“Yes, I do.” Kaito snapped, shooting her a glare, “I want to do it today, even. I want to get a drink at some point today, and we’re going to toast that Togami is dead. And I’m going to talk about all the ways he was a shitty person and I hated him.”

“You’re just mad he didn’t pick you over literal execution.”

“...” Kaito let out a shuddering breath. “Togami was the worst and I hate him with all my heart.” He lied weakly. “I’m glad he’s dead and I want to celebrate.”

Maki shrugged. “We’ll do it this evening.”

-

“Do you…” Kaito hesitated. Looking uncomfortable, leaning on his knees against the bench, seeds in his hand, “...want to go to the strip club?”

“Feeding the ducks not doing it for you?” Maki asked, having drawn her legs up onto the bench when really, just, far too many ducks had collected around them from Kaito’s feeding, the two having rested by the lake. “You remember why you don’t go there, right?”

“It’ll stress out my partners.” Kaito said, feeding some seeds to the ducks.

“Shuichi will get jealous, Kokichi will get in his head about it, and you’ll spend the next year feeling bad about watching bouncing tits and jiggling asses that were not connected to Shuichi.” Maki said, “I’m assuming Kokichi doesn’t have enough ass to jiggle.”

“He’s got plenty, thank you very much.” Kaito lied, shooting her a glare, “He’s got a very cute, tiny tush.”

“If you’re just looking to do something we wouldn’t do with them, why not a hookah bar or something?” Maki offered.

Kaito’s eyes lit up. Though they still waited till they got through all the seeds for the ducks. 

-

Kaito inhaled deeply… held it… and then let it go.

“Okay.” He said, his body relaxing, a soothed smile spreading his face as he relaxed into the bean bag, “This was a good idea. Phooo… I’m gonna smell like smoke when I get home. I hope that won’t trigger anything in Kokichi? Just smelling smoke on someones clothes?”

“I thought you were getting a hotel tonight?” Maki said, blowing a small puff of smoke out of her nose. 

Kaito chuckled, “The Last Dragon of Luminary~ And, well, that’s only if I get drunk. Still don’t know if I’m getting drunk.”

“Still feel fine?” Maki asked.

“Still feel fine.” Kaito agreed, taking another deep breath against the thin metal pipe. Holding it and letting it go, watching the smoke spin and dance, “...maybe I am a bad person.”

Maki sighed. “Maybe. Why?”

“Kokichi told me once he didn’t think I’d care if all of his family died, so long as I was happy.” Kaito said. Still leaning back in the bean bag, watching the smoke swirl, “He told me later he didn’t mean that. But that was what he said when he was at his most pissed off at me, trying to… I don’t know. Who knows what the goal of saying it was. Kokichi probably had one. I can’t help but always feel like the goal is to shove in my face how shitty I am. Like, oh, here we go, one more piece of evidence that you're a selfish, psychotic piece of shit… and then he always takes it back. Says that’s not what he was saying. Maybe I’m just reading into it wrong.”

“Is that why you keep bringing up things you’re ashamed of today?” Maki asked.

“Ashamed of?” Kaito asked, straightening up to give her his attention. 

“Wanting to hit Nao still, wanting to hit Byakuya, wanting revenge, a part of you being happy Togami’s dead, viewing having Addie as some sort of vengeful victory.” Maki listed out. “Wanting to go to the strip club, even. I wondered if that was all leading to something.”

Kaito frowned, taking a puff of the hookah, “...why don’t I feel anything for my parents, today?” Kaito asked, the smoke escaping from between his teeth as he spoke, “I’m supposed to… my parents are dead and I don’t even care… maybe there’s something wrong with me?” Kaito said, closing his eyes and rubbing his temple, “I feel evil, Maki.”

“Yeah.” Maki said, leaning back in her beanbag. “I do sometimes too.”

“You’re a hero.” Kaito muttered.

“I threatened to starve our country, Kaito.” Maki said blankly, “And even before that, it’s not like I lost sleep over the people I killed. I didn’t take out a target and spend the rest of the day agonized with guilt. Most of the time I didn’t feel much of anything. Sometimes I was even proud. Not because they were evil or had done something that made it feel better to kill them. Just because it had been tricky and I was proud I had done a good job at it.”

“That’s not your fault.” Kaito said, “You would have died if you hadn’t found a way to live with it. Assassins don’t survive if every kill fills them with horror. You had to let those feelings go.”

“That makes my evil explainable.” Maki said simply. Turning her head and staring at Kaito with those cold, red eyes, “Not any less evil though.”

“...yeah.” Kaito said, his shoulder falling a little. “Maybe… but I still think that should count for something.”

“I was going to kill your parents.”

Kaito nodded slowly. “I know.”

“I was going to kill so many people you loved.” Maki continued. “I manipulated your husband and fiance to help me. If Kokichi hadn’t had a breakdown, I would have gone through with it. I would have left Timothy behind for you to raise alone, would have left you brainwashed and helpless to stop me, agonizing over what was happening. I would have betrayed your trust and taken from you everything you held dear, and I was never going to apologize.”

“...that’s a lie.” Kaito mused, giving Maki a tired look, “You apologized as soon as you got back.”

“...I felt differently about it, by then.” Maki admitted. “But the plan wasn’t to do that ever. I told myself I could kill you, if I ever had too. For the revolution.”

“For Kaede.”

“...” Maki shrugged, “I thought she was the answer.”

“And remembering that makes my shards supposed ‘destiny’ a lot easier to imagine.” Kaito mused, before chuckling a little. Taking a long drag, before letting the smoke go, “What’s your point?”

“I’m right here.” Maki said, still laid back. Unconcerned, untense. Almost corpse-like, in how still she was on the beanbag, “If you really wanted to make sure one of us ‘didn’t get away with it’.”

“... Maki?” Kaito said, grinning a little, the smoke again escaping through his teeth, “I literally can’t think of a worst possible thing. If the only person I got to take vengeance on was the one I loved the most? What a fucking shitty reality that would be. Thanks, but no thanks, I already have too much trauma to deal with. Not doing that.”

Maki tsked. Sitting up, looking a bit put out. “Fine… but if it makes you feel any better.” Maki shrugged, her eyes still bright among the smoke, “I think everyone else feels the same way about you. Maybe you are evil. It’d be a shame if you were the one who didn’t get away with it, though.”

“Yeah… thanks Maki.”

-

The sun had set, and they were laying on the hill, drinking a little and watching the stars come out. 

They hadn’t talked much in a while. Just quietly enjoying each others company, passing back and forth a vodka bottle. The goal had been to take the bottle and go to the bar and just buy the mixers, bully the bartenders into not turning them away, but they had gone to one bar, heard someone whisper the word ‘Nary’ to another patron, and decided they weren’t looking for trouble. 

So now they were just star watching, drinking from the bottle for a bit.

“...my parents didn’t love me.” Kaito admitted quietly.

Maki nodded. Sipping at the bottle before passing it back to him.

“I wanted proof that they loved me so badly…” Kaito said, the alcohol dripping off the side of his face a little, staring at the stars, “I think a part of me knew the whole time, ya know? I look back at my childhood now and… I tried so hard. To be a kid they could love. I laughed and I was playful and I listened and I gushed at their knees. Mom would pet my hair. Dad would chase me around the war room and pick me up and spin me upside down until I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe… and then they’d both look away, distracted by something, and I’d be invisible to them again. Not just for a moment. For days. Weeks… I worked so…” 

Kaito bit his lip, his brow furrowing. Eyes burning red as he said, voice stuttering, “I worked so hard for them to love me, for those few moments. I just… what was wrong with me? I know they could! They loved Byakuya. They thought Kaede was amazing. They’d be happy when my aunt came by or when something went well and sometimes they even seemed happy with each other, passing each other these looks or saying these little inside jokes… what was wrong with me? I don’t…” Kaito closed his eyes. Gritting his teeth as the tears fell, “I don’t understand. Was the rage that bad? Did I really seem that crazy? At what point did they look at me and just… give up on me? Decide I was hopeless? Fuck, Maki, I miss Tengan more than I miss them sometimes!”

Maki watched the low city lights, taking the vodka bottle back from Kaito and sipping at it, “...that’s pretty bad.” She said.

“He gave me attention, and made me feel important, and sometimes it felt like making him proud was actually fucking possible.” Kaito said, closing his eyes. The black sludge filling his chest and the acid swirling in his stomach, as he continued, “And I knew… I knew something was… wrong with the way he touched me sometimes. The way he looked and talked to me. But a part of me was… happy. When he did that. I felt… wanted… and then he… is he dead?! I don’t know, is Tengan dead!? Memory wipe things… Byakuya made the training stop because I… Maki I…”

Kaito snorted, though it wasn’t a happy sound. His airway closed up as he struggled to breath through the snot in his nose, as he covered his eyes and foreheads with his hands, “I-I tried to… I tried to…”

Maki looked over at Kaito, mutely searching his body language. She didn’t really know what he was trying to explain. She had her suspicions, but nothing ever confirmed. It was something Kaito didn’t talk about. Seemed to be struggling to talk about still. 

“...I bet it’s not even that bad, whatever you ‘tried’ to do.” Maki said, scooting closer to him. Making it appear as if she had just sat nearer to get to the bottle easier, as she took a sip. 

The next snort was a laugh. “Fuck you.” Kaito wetly chuckled, still hiding his eyes behind his hands, “It was fucking terrible and I’m an evil, monstrous piece of garbage.”

“Uh huh.” Maki said. Tone clearly disbelieving, “All you rich kids always think you’re the most dangerous things around, and then you let slip that the ‘big fight’ was you and your friend just slapping each other around once in a fight over a girl. Pathetic. It’s never anything actually worth all the drama.”

“God, you’re an asshole. Why are we friends?” Kaito laughed, rubbing his hands over his face before peering at her between his fingers, “give me a sip of the bottle.”

“As you wish, your grace.” Maki said, passing it over to him as Kaito sat up. Passing him the bottle as she said, “So are you finally going to fess up to what the ‘big’ secret is? I swear, if you all weren’t torturing homeless people in that study of yours and then eating them, I’m calling you a pussy for the rest of your life.”

“What? No.” Kaito said, giving Maki a dry look at that, “That’s gross, Maki. It’s not that bad at least… I tried to give Byakuya a blow job.”

“Gross.” Maki said, “Didn’t succeed then?”

Kaito gave her a long look at that… before taking a deeper sip of the vodka, passing the bottle back to her as he said, “No, I didn’t succeed.”

“Not very good at it by then?”

“God, you’re such a bitch… Byakuya beat the shit out of me.” Kaito admitted. Pulling up his legs and resting his head on his knees, “Beat the shit out of me, threw me into the coffee table. Broke the damn thing. While my head was still spinning and I was still pleading for mercy, Tengan came back and basically told Byakuya he should have let me do it. Said a lot of things, but the gist was that I was ‘good for that’. And that was it. That was the last straw for my brother. Whatever spell Tengan had over him snapped, right then and there. Byakuya dragged me out of that room by my collar, took us right to our parents, told them everything. Everything… the weird games, the abuse, the weird way Tengan was around us, around me. I was… horrified. I spent that whole time with my legs shaking so badly I could barely stand, sobbing my eyes out. I didn’t want them to know all that stuff…”

“What happened?” Maki asked, passing the vodka back.

“Tengan wasn’t even worried. Didn’t even follow us. Our parents called for him, and he showed up looking entirely calm. A little amused, even. And he twisted everything Byakuya said to make it sound like my brother was just exaggerating normal training.” Kaito said, staring tiredly at nothing, not sipping at the bottle as he just held it, “And I think that was the moment Byakuya stopped loving them. Because they were listening to Tengan… I don’t think I ever heard him say a good word about them, after that point… he argued with them, but I don’t even know how he did it… Tengan basically got my parents to ask me if it was all true how Byakuya said it, or how Tengan did…”

“...you were a kid.” Maki shrugged.

“I was a coward. And a freak. I didn’t want them to know all of that stuff, I didn’t want them to know how fucked up I was. I repeated everything Tengan said word for word. Made Byakuya sound like a pissed off teenager trying to get his mentor in trouble. Begged for forgiveness for my fucked up thoughts and desires and promised I wouldn’t do it again.” Kaito murmured. “Byakuya looked at me like he wanted to stab me. He probably did. I’d want to kill me, in that situation. I condemned us to the rest of our lives with Tengan… Kokichi was raped on his wedding night, because I didn’t back Byakuya up. You and Shuichi were hurt. Byakuya had to train the rest of his teenage years with that monster, because he was around and ultimately was the best option for him… maybe I’m even the reason he came out the way he did.” Kaito whispered, brows furrowing, “Maybe Byakuya would have stood a chance, if I just hadn’t wanted Tengans fucking approval so god damn badly… the civil war wouldn’t have happened… the party would be alive… my parents would still be alive…”

“Tch.” Maki said, shaking her head. “Narcissist.”

“...” Kaito gave her a dry look, “Maki, I get you’re being mean to help, in your own Maki way, but I’m actually really tired of being called selfish.”

“I just mean it in the same way I am.” Maki said, impatient for Kaito to drink so taking his wrist and moving the bottle to her, sipping at it with it still in his hand before laying back on the grass, “Our own, personal actions shaped the fate of the country. Of the world. Certainly that’s how it happened… we can’t see it any other way… wow.” Maki smirked, “No wonder we won the civil war together, in your daydream timeline. The two of us together would have been filled with just enough unearned confidence to make it to the end. We would have been perfect for each other, violent king and new god.”

“Geez…” Kaito took a loong, looooong swig, before laying down next to her, “...you don’t think I’m evil?”

“I think you were, what… nine, ten? And eating horny pills while a malicious empath abused you from the inside and out.” Maki said, staring at the sky, “With a family that bafflingly didn’t love their literal best son. I think if today you find yourself not caring that your parents are dead, but weirdly caring that Tengan is? Then it’s no different then the days I find myself missing my work, thinking fondly of the days I murdered someone effeciently and brutally and knowing deep down they didn’t have it coming… maybe we are evil, but like I said. It’s a reasonable evil. The world did this to us.” Maki said, putting down the bottle and reaching out to take Kaito’s hand as he laid out, only one knee up as he stared at the stars, “What choice did we have? There’s nothing we can do but just… live with it.”

“That doesn’t feel great.” Kaito murmured, squeezing her hand.

“...but it’s not terrible.” Maki replied. “I think I know you well enough, Kaito. We can just… keep going. We’ll be two more people who ‘got away with it’. Why not, everyone else did… and it’d be a tragedy if out of all these fuck ups we’ve been surrounded with? Only the two of us were left behind, unable to move past it.” Maki said, looking over to Kaito, who looked back at her, “We’ll be normal people living normal lives. We’ll have great days and good fortunes and families that adore us and people that respect us. We’ll have all the things we shouldn’t. We’ll be two more villains who got away with it. And we won’t even care.”

Kaito’s lips twitched up at that. “Uh huh. Not even a little bit?”

“Not at all.” Maki said dismissively, “Selfish, conceited, self-centered, psychotic… all the terrible things we’re supposed to be… we’ll get away with all of it.”

“...can we feel bad sometimes?” Kaito murmured softly, “Cause I feel bad about everything. A lot. I always feel guilty.”

“Me too.” Maki admitted. Speaking softly as she said, “I guess, sometimes… we can feel bad about it. And when we do, maybe we can talk to each other about it. Feel bad together… but only sometimes. As a treat.”

“Pfff.” Kaito laughed, squeezing her hand again as he gave her a wide grin, “I love you, Maki.”

“I love you too.” Maki said softly, staring at him a moment… before looking back up to the stars, “...it’d be pretty trashy if we fell asleep on this hill with a vodka bottle nudged between us, hm?”

“Do you think it’d be breaking a law? Would we get arrested?” Kaito snorted, following her gaze upwards, “God, we’re insatiable. How evil can we get?”

“Let’s see how we feel in an hour. If you’re drunk, I’ll take you to a hotel, drop you off. Otherwise, let’s just go home.”

“Okay, Maki-roll.”

-

The thing about eternity was that, after a time, you started to become familiar with a particular struggle: maximizing your efforts versus smelling the flowers. With eternity at your fingertips, there was no rush for anything. The drive of wanting to make an impact in your lifetime, making the most of what was just a grain in the great hourglass of the universe just…wasn’t as great a motivator when you knew you had centuries, if not millennia to accomplish your dreams. On the other hand, with what was practically infinite time…why not do everything. Especially without demanding needs of a human body, it was tempting to work through every waking moment and catch up with the infinity that’s already passed you by. 

Generally, Drake had heard the advice for vampires and similar immortals that taking things slow was a good approach, especially for not exposing yourself, but that you needed some kind of hobby to keep yourself sane. It was an outlook Drake agreed with, and while university was still on summer break, his work to become a Dicea-licensed detective still kept him occupied, if not his other hobbies. 

But still, there were some days that ended up like this--Drake slumped over the arm of his couch, staring at the wood paneling of his floor and just trying not to think. Or, more specifically, trying not to think about the weakness in his bones, and weightlessness in his head, and the unignorable, gnawing hunger not just in his stomach, but ironically seeming to consume the whole of him. 

…his sire would probably laugh and comment about how much of a teen he was being. But, Calliope, he was hungry. 

The distribution system for blood packs in Usott was incredible, more than vampires in a lot of places could ever ask for in terms of safety and reliability, but it still occasionally fell victim to the routine foibles of management errors. 

Heaving a full body sigh, Drake shifted, resting his head in the corner of his couch. And absolutely didn’t think about food.

Shuichi was busy these days.

It was a little ridiculous, honestly. While he knew upon reflection it had all happened in little bits and pieces, building up over time, it still very much felt like his life had specifically waited until he had a baby before suddenly being like ‘You are now popular and with several career developments right ahead of you that all need handling, and also there’s a wedding coming up and also there’s a baby and also some fiances you gotta take care of.’

It was all quite a lot. Shuichi hadn’t been this busy in quite some time now, really. Busy in a general way, sure, but not in the sense of managing a diversity of events and priorities, many still unfamiliar and difficult to plan for.

All that to say that his future telling, accident prone vampire friend had fallen by the wayside for a little while now and Shuichi was feeling bad. He knew friendships took a certain amount of maintenance, and Drake could be a little shy and overly surprised by Shuichi’s desire for his friendship, and Shuichi suspected if he lost track of the man Drake was the type to quietly assume Shuichi had lost interest in him and allow himself to be ghosted.

Not wanting that, Shuichi decided he’d surprise him. Taking the afternoon, Shuichi, feeling very pleaded with himself, headed to Drakes apartment and knocked at the door. Calling through the door, “Drake, it’s me. I thought I’d swing by. Do you want to go out to lunch?” he called, hoping the man was home and the trip wasn’t wasted.

Drake would never, ever tell Shuuichi this but…he smelled his friend coming to his door before he heard the knock. Sure, every vampire could smell blood with heightened senses, but, especially living among humans, Drake just sorta…tuned it out, after a while. Only taking note if someone was actively bleeding, or there was something wild going on with their blood. It was a sense that developed to track blood-bearing beings, to stay away from diseases or contaminated blood, but…well, what, it wasn’t like Drake was going to eat any of his neighbors.

And he still wasn’t considering it! He’d been in far worse spots before! 

…but Shuuichi did smell nice. And agonizing. 

Dragging himself up, Drake answered the door, managing a small smile for the surprise visit of his friend, even as he was leaning against his doorframe, eyes not exactly as steady as they usually were.

“Hey, Shuuichi--it’s nice to see you. Haven’t seen you since you and Kokichi took that trip. I…” He trailed off, conflict showing on his face, somehow even more ashen than usual. Normally, he really would love getting to catch up with his friend, but…

…could he really manage going out to a meal right now? Putting something in his body, while not feeling hunger abating at all? All while…

Drake’s face crumpled a little as a loud gurgle sounded out in his apartment’s hallway, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. “...Um… I’d really love to talk, but…”

Shuichi’s eyes widened in honest alarm, before quickly stepping forward and placing his hand on Drake’s forehead. Holding it there for a moment… before realizing as he felt the freeze on his skin, “Wait, this probably isn’t a useful way to tell if you’re sick, hm? I imagine fevers stop being a thing when…” Shuichi didn’t elaborate, not knowing how thin the walls were here, before quickly gently pushing his way inside, heading towards the kitchen.

“Sit down, Drake, you look ill.” Shuichi ordered, as he went searching for glasses, intent on pouring Drake some cool water to sip on in hopes of quelling the nausea Shuichi had thought he had seen. “Do you have any ginger ale? Drake, you live alone, you should have sent word if you were ill, I would have come sooner.”

Letting Shuuichi push him (and thankfully not just falling on his ass), Drake could only chuckle softly as he settled himself at the kitchen peninsula. “I’m not sick…but I do appreciate you taking charge like this, if I was.”

Sighing with less mirth, Drake shook his head, watching Shuuichi move around his kitchen. “No, my…prescription was… There was some sort of clerical or management error at the place I get it. Can’t get my stuff until Wednesday.”

“I’m okay, I’ll live,” he grinned at his friend, before grimacing as he hunched over his stomach. “...I’m just really hungry. And it’s harder to do things without…my meds.”

Things like not have people mistake him for a corpse if they happened to brush by each other.

Shuichi, filling the glass with ice and water regardless, brought it to Drake from the other side of the peninsula, before giving him a mildly bewildered look. Medicatio– ooh! Ooooh. Hmm.

Wednesday wasn’t far off, thankfully, but… Drake didn’t look good. Leaning against the counter, Shuichi gave Drake an openly concerned look. “...well, you look terrible.” Shuichi sighed, taking off his hat and waving it against his face a little as he pointed out, “And it’s boiling in here, by the way. That can’t be helping… though, I suppose temperature for you…” “

“You are a very difficult person to worry about, Drake.” Shuichi finally accused him, giving him a mildly exasperated, if still concerned, look, “Not by half because of your situation. I can’t decide if I’m overly worried or giving your condition too much credit, as far as ‘invulnerability’ goes. Are you hungry? Is that essentially what’s happening?”

“Oh, is it? Shoot…” Giving Shuuichi an apologetic look, Drake hopped up for a moment, opening the other window that had been shut in his living room, before taking a detour to his bedroom. It was quiet, before there was a dull noise of something tumbling to the floor, a quiet curse, before Drake returned. It wasn’t really like he couldn’t tell what external temperatures were like, but…of all the uncomfortable things going on, the heat was one of the ones he’d actually been successful in tuning out. 

But his guests didn’t need to suffer that. 

Sighing, Drake plopped back down on his kitchen stool and sipped the water, giving his friend a half-smile. “I’m not dying, so don’t worry that much. And I won’t be on the brink of death on Wednesday either. So…yeah. I’m hungry.”

“But…it’s also…” Speaking more quietly, Drake’s mouth twisted into a complicated expression. “...it’s not one-to-one, since…well, obviously, you wouldn’t survive at all without a beating heart. But…well, I can’t produce what my meds do naturally. So think about what happens to a person when they’re missing that. Mix that up with a hunger that’s more than just from my stomach and…”

He sighed again. “I’m sure you’ve read horror novels about people like me.”

Shuichi tilted his head slightly, before shaking his head. “I’m not a fan of the genre. I prefer crime dramas and action mysteries, but horrors… I don’t like the parts of my line of work those stories remind me of. It really seems to be more Kokichi’s thing. But, as far as understanding your situation, I don’t need horror novels to tell me the torture of starvation. It’s a terrible thing to do to a person.”

Shuichi sighed, considering asking a few follow up questions. Could any what he considered ‘regular’ food be used at least in small part as a substitute, was there any actual medication that would ease the symptoms, anything Shuichi could provide… but Shuichi was aware that if there was, Drake would have secured those things for himself by now. Though, “Where do you retrieve your supplies?” Shuichi asked, giving Drake a stern look, “You’re not well enough to be walking around, especially considering you can barely walk a straight line without incident on a good day. I can go fetch you your medication the day of, bring it here.”

Shuichi blinked, considering things… before casually mentioning, “There’s also a traditional option, of easing the problem.”

“I can understand that,” Drake smiled softly. “I don’t read a ton of horror myself, but…well, I’m versed enough in the stereotypes people write about. Though, maybe not actually enough, considering your reaction,” he laughed.

But…yeah. Starvation… Of all the ways a vampire could die…that was one of the worst. Even for near-death experiences. Being stabbed in the heart was frustrating and terrifying, being burned alive had always sounded the most painful, and Drake could barely fathom what holy magic was like, since so few people these days could even conjure the right kind. 

But…starving? It made someone not even a person anymore. Just…a crazed, blood-hungry beast, like the stories made vampires out to be. Drake wasn’t anywhere near that point yet, but…it still wasn’t pleasant. 

Smiling softly, Drake shook his head. “I really appreciate you offering, but…it’d be dangerous for you to show up on your own. If anything…could I just ask you to come with me? There’s still a little danger, but…they know me well enough, by now. I’d be able to vouch for you.”

Already that was a too kind offer, but what Shuuichi followed up with made Drake sit up, his eyes going wide. Silence overtaking them for a moment before…

“...snrrk.” The vampire poorly suppressed a snort before giving Shuuichi a bashful look. “See, that’s the kind of thing you say that makes me worry when I hear you’re off doing science experiments, Shuuichi. Thank you, that really does mean the world to me…but I’d rather make sure you can make it back home too. And I think I’d soon find myself without my head attached to my body if Maki ever found out.”

Shuichi smiled warmly at that, before saying entirely straight faced, “Oh, absolutely. Maki would be very upset if it was me, but I wasn’t intending myself to do it anyway. I’m pumping breast milk daily right now, I can’t afford to disrupt anything going on with my body. No, I really meant I’d send Kaito over.” Shuichi confessed with a small shrug, “He does it less these days, but Kaito bloodlets regularly, and is otherwise physically very healthy. If anyone could handle the actual process, it’d be him. Plus I imagine he’d enjoy the experience.”

“And I’ve actually been making considerable progress in my ‘science’ experiments!” Shuichi said, eyes lighting up as he dug into his pockets, looking for something… before triumphantly taking out a tiny, tiny bag of a fine, nearly entirely clear powder. Holding it out to Drake triumphantly, he said, “Guess what this is? I’m quite proud of it, actually, we can’t use it but I wanted to show it to you.”

Drake could only laugh a little more. “You know what, you’re right. And I can imagine your fiance being kind of curious about it… Still a generous offer, but…it’s safer if I just wait. I’m not worried about getting a taste for…fresher stuff, but I’m not going to have any of us dip our toes into that well.”

Peering over at Shuuichi, Drake considered the powder in the bag. “Oh… So that guy’s been a good teacher for you? I know I’d said I’d help you out when it comes to safety, but…I have to say, it does make me feel better knowing you have a proper guide, when it comes to this stuff…”

Humming softly, Drake gave Shuuichi a semi-playful look. “Would you be too put-out if I guess it’s super glue?”

Shuichi sighed dramatically, placing the tiny bag on the counter and looking at it longingly, “I wish. I know there’s an adhesive spell, but Lluwyn refuses to teach us things like that, potions and spells,” He said, keeping his voice very soft, “that require other potions and spells to fix. He says it’s part of the learning process, but I think he’s just worried Himiko means it when she says she’s going to glue people to their fake wands as a prank.”

“No, it’s a ‘magic paste’, which my teacher says should make certain things we’re learning more potent and other possible.” Shuichi explained, happily poking at the bag slightly as he said, voice slightly filled with awe, “There’s fairy dust, in here… and dragonfly wings. And milk, oddly enough, a lot of milk. Fascinating… we prioritized learning it because…”

Shuichi pinked slightly. Clearly pleased and feeling a little bad about the pleasure as he said,  “When Himiko and I do the process separately? Her potions and spells don’t come out as potent as mine do. No idea why, maybe it’s just the pacing of how she mixes? Who knows…” Shuichi smiled, clearly proud as he shrugged, “I just have a talent for it, apparently? Though Himiko is very good at experimentation.” He conceded, “We’re not supposed to experiment, but when we do it anyway, Himiko’s ideas usually actually work. I can’t quite get my head to mix and match things we already know in any functional way, like she does. Perhaps this is me dreaming too big, but I can imagine Himiko being famous for discovering something truly new, someday…” 

Shuichi beamed, looking incredibly pleased as he said, “While I’d hope to be known as an extremely competent supernatural detective, someday… as silly as that sounds.”

That sounded like sound teaching, and while Drake had been relieved when Shuuichi told him he and Himiko had gotten a magic teacher before, it just settled in his heart that they were in knowledgable, cautious hands. Hands that wouldn’t let his friends blow themselves up in the name of curiosity. 

Drake hummed lightly, looking back to the bag as Shuuichi explained what it was, nodding. “Ah, I see… I’ve always heard that everyone has their own potential for that stuff--it’s kind of the same when it comes to abilities, rather than what you’re learning now. I think there’s more of a baseline, but the ceiling? Unique to every individual. That’s…really exciting that you’re seeing how potent your potential is, though.”

And while it might be discouraging now, Himiko’s struggles would probably allow her to learn quite a lot, having to find workarounds rather than just able to do things as textbook perfect. Kind of perfect, for a person who was experimenting anyway (as much as, hoo boy, that made him worry again). 

But as Shuuichi outlined his own hopes, Drake blinked, before straightening and beaming back, hunger forgotten (as much as it could be, for something that seared itself into every nerve). 

“You… Oh, Shuuichi!” he laughed. “You found a path?!”

Shuichi’s flush of pink turned into a deeper red, putting his hat back on and drawing it low over his eyes as he shrugged sheepishly, “...maybe.” He said, the small smile on his face suggesting he was less uncertain than he was suggesting as he continued, “I just… it’s so… fascinating, Drake.” Shuichi said, eyes wide with excitement.

Before a flinch crossed his features, something more grim in it as he added, “And necessary. Perhaps it’s merely my upbringing or my morbid disposition, but the relationship of the supernatural world with the mundane? Well, you’ve lived in Dicea longer than I… they have a point, with the ‘secrecy creates abuse’ mentality. A lack of available help, a danger in pursuing help? That’s going to create situations for people where the circumstances are truly dire and they have no one to turn to. And, as terrible as that situation is… I do enjoy knowing my work is truly going to help people who need it. That my pursuit of truth will take a terrible situation and bring light to it? Even something as small as closure can be considered a ‘happy ending’ for many… and the issues I’ve heard about already? I can contribute so much more than closure.”

Shuichi looked up at Drake, frowning a little as he said, “I’ve been made aware of cursed objects, lately. Specifically, souls being trapped in objects… I can’t stop thinking about that. How hopeless that situation must feel. To not just be trapped, but trapped in a space where no one could ever know to look for you. To be compelled to harm the only people who might have a chance of helping you, of being aware of your situation…”

Shuichi’s brow furrowed, something pained in his expression, “Kaito keeps coming to mind, oddly enough. At first idly, and now I can’t stop imagining it. He has a deep fear of the supernatural, specifically things connected to death, that don’t move on to Atua’s trials. It’s always been an easy way to frighten him. If Kaito, or someone like Kaito, not knowing better, with no way to defend themselves, ended up in that situation… how horrifying. A nightmare not only realized, but sustained… if Kaito was in that situation, I’d curse anyone who suggested the secret of his situation was more valuable than finding any possible way of helping him. It’s simply… unacceptable. That no one is coming to help.”

“So… I’d like to be able to come and help.” Shuichi said softly, “If I could even succeed once… what an accomplishment, that would be. It’d be worth it.”

Drake couldn’t stop smiling, overjoyed for Shuuichi. He knew he didn’t know the half of it, but he did know how much Shuuichi had been struggling with his future. What he wanted from it, what he should pursue, if the things he had already set up were worth it… To find a direction he wanted was huge. And especially the specific one he chose…

It was a weird sort of hypocrisy, the magical community in Dicea lived with. While everything in human society nailed in how important openness was, they had to live half, if not more, of their lives in relative secret. Sure, the communities were only getting bigger and more interconnected but…well, the hushed voices he and Shuuichi went into proved the point. It wasn’t actually freedom of information. 

The concern of safety, the reason they all cited for the need for secrecy, wasn’t so simple it could be boiled down in a few statements either. Drake was only alive because of that secrecy. If people knew vampires existed? His corpse would’ve been burned on the spot. Maybe humans wouldn’t have been fighting that war at all, maybe all magic folk would’ve been conscripted instead, the fights becoming exponentially more brutal, considering what it would actually take for an opponent to be beaten. Maybe the ruling class they had been fighting against wouldn’t have been humans at all, and they would’ve been crushed under an even more oppressive class. Just like how it was for humans in Danganronpa currently. Maybe all magic folk would’ve been hunted down, like it used to be in Dicea, and the reason why Danganronpa kept their secret within the country. 

Maybe all those hypotheticals were just…reactionary statements of fear, and worth the price of exposure. Honestly…Drake didn’t know. 

But even if it wasn’t truth on a grand scale…

Gently, Drake took Shuuichi’s hands and gave them a light squeeze, hoping his friend wouldn’t think the feeling was too gross. “I think you’ll be able to help. I think you’ll be able to help countless people, Shuuichi, and…that’s not a premonition,” Drake laughed, “But maybe that’s a good thing, considering my interpretations. I just…know it. Because I know you. You’ll be incredible.”

Shuichi’s eyes lit up at that, clearly endlessly pleased with the encouragement… before he frowned at Drake’s hands. “I know this likely isn’t the case, but you feel more like a corpse than usual, Drake. Just let me bring down Kaito, it’ll spare you nearly two days of agony and it’d probably delight him to get to help in such a weird way.”

“Th-than usual?!” Drake sputtered a bit, a pout set in his expression before he sighed, putting a hand against his forehead as he thought. And his stomach rumbled again, squealing in delight at the prospect of food. 

He really wasn’t worried about getting a taste for fresh blood again, even if it had been somewhere around a hundred years since he’d last fed from someone. It did taste better fresh--certain nuances that were lost in storage--and there was something a bit more appetizing about warm blood, rather than cold, but as long as Drake wasn’t starving, he didn’t have much of a preference either way. And since bags were less likely to get him put on a list somewhere--and, through the system he used, were guaranteed to have been freely given--he was content to keep his streak going. 

But, well…he really would be fine waiting, so it wasn’t like Kaito would be pressured into agreeing. And Drake did see it being something that the prince would be weirdly into. So…was it worth fighting against Shuuichi’s stubborn concern?

Drake sighed, looking back up at his friend. “...please let him know that he’s under no obligation to come. I’ll be fine if he doesn’t come. But…I suppose it can’t hurt to ask him.”

Shuichi nodded at that, saying with full confidence, “I’m sure he’ll be nothing but thrilled.”

-

Kaito looked… less than thrilled. “You want me to do what now?”

Shuichi was genuinely surprised at the hesitancy, glancing with new uncertainty at Kokichi– Kokichi was just already in the room when Shuichi got back to ask, but his fiance probably should be a part of this conversation anyway– before looking back to Kaito, “Well… he just needs a little bit of help. Blood-wise. He hasn’t eaten in a little while and won’t eat for another few days, and you bloodlet so much… does the thought disturb you?”

Kaito bounced Miyako on his leg a little, listening to the baby do small ‘Wub-Wub-Wub’ sounds as she let out a lung, sustained happy noise through the bouncing, as he considered that… “No, I mean, not really. Honestly I think when I first found out what Drake was, I literally offered him some blood as like… a snack. Cause we were out and I was drinking wine and it seemed polite.”

“You what?” Shuichi said, gasping. “You offered to let someone eat you because it was polite?”

“Ah, see, that’s why I’m surprised.” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a knowing grin, “Not that I’m too freaked out to do it. More just surprised you’d be okay with me doing it, enough to volunteer me.”

“You’re under no obligation. Drake wanted me to stress that. He’ll eat the day after tomorrow either way.” Shuichi said, before saying softly, “He just seemed so… ill. And it’s otherwise such an easy problem to fix, for us.”

It had been Kokichi’s first day back at work…though, it was less work-work, and more just a rapid succession of meetings all day, catching him up on what he’d missed over the past few months. For not really having to do anything, it was more draining than paperwork, and Kokichi had been stretching out on their bed, trying to unwind while he chatted with Kaito. 

Having Shuuichi come back so soon from his visit with Drake, let alone hearing him proposition Kaito for blood was…well, unexpected, to say the least. Kaito offering in the first place was less so. 

“...are you? Okay with it, I mean,” Kokichi asked Shuuichi, raising an eyebrow. “I’d figure you are if you volunteered, especially since it sounds like Drake’s giving every out he can… I don’t really know any vampires well enough to say…I suppose it’s less intimate than in books, since, yanno, it’s food.”

Despite himself, Kokichi made a little face. He’d been trying not to really think of the blood in question as, yanno, blood, but…ew. Ew. 

“It’s Drake, I trust him.” Shuichi said almost entirely dismissively, before giving Kaito a stern look, crossing his arms as he said, “And I’ll be there too, so I’d expect you to be on your best behavior.”

“...?” Kaito tilted his head at that, grabbing the milk bottle and trying to feed Miyako with it again, Miya having so far proven reluctant to give up dad playtime for boring bottle time. “Um…you don’t really have to worry about me, either, Shuichi. It’s not going to go there for me.”

Shuichi’s face softened, as he said patiently, “Kaito, you don’t have to reassure me or repress anything, I’m not trying to put you on the spot and then shame you for those feelings–”

“I don’t think Drake is very attractive.” Kaito interrupted dryly. His nose wrinkling slightly as he admitted, “...at all.”

Shuichi blinked at that… before looking GENUINELY offended as he said, “What?! What do you mean you don’t find him attractive!? He’s beautiful!”

“Heeeeeee is?” Kaito said, sounding doubtful, before shaking his head. Not to say no, but to correct himself as he said, “I mean, yes, he’s good looking, like, objectively. He’s just not my type.”

“Wha—, wha… type?”

At this, Kaito’s expression darkened a little. “Shuichi, I know we haven’t practiced this in a while, but: I’m giving you another chance to say that.”

Shuichi gave Kaito a bewildered look for a moment, before thinking about his words… before a flash of shame ran through him, hearing himself. “Oh, okay, I… no, obviously I… I apologize, Kaito, I’m not saying you’re attracted to literally everyone. You’re allowed to not be drawn to some people, I shouldn’t make it sound like that’s impossible to believe… yes?”

Kaito smiled warmly, the dark thing gone as he nodded. Looking down and giving Miyako a delighted look as he whispered, “Heeeey, there we go. You suck that bottle, baby girl, teach it a lesson.”

“But, you usually are attracted to people you like… do you not like Drake?” Shuichi asked, sounding a little hurt. Drake was arguably his best friend, these days. Outside of Maki, of course.

“No, I like Drake plenty. He’s just…” Kaito’s brow furrowed a little, not sure how to explain it, “...very… gray. Have you guys ever noticed that? He’s a little gray. Objectively very pretty, but I just… he’s a little gray and a little… thin… big eyes… not that being thin and big eyed is unattractive, obviously,” Kaito chuckled, glancing at Kokichi with a small smirk, before sighing, “I don’t know. I just can’t imagine it with Drake, that’s all. It feels ‘off’ to me. So… if the worry was me making just passing him a meal ‘weird’? All good!” Kaito said brightly, before looking to Kokichi again, “At least on my end. Babe? Any concerns?”

While he didn’t voice anything, Kokichi gave Kaito a similarly bewildered look. He knew that Kaito didn’t have any feelings for Drake, he’d talked about that before, during their not-a-date thing. But there was a difference between not being attracted to someone, and Kaito not thinking they were attractive. Something that, broadly, for people who weren’t kids or just the worst people imaginable…meant that Kaito hated them. Sure, things had gotten a little rough between them at one point, but…Kokichi really thought that Kaito and Drake liked each other enough.

But…it wasn’t hate. It was more like the feeling Kaito had for kids, though he didn’t think of Drake as a child, obviously. Just…

Kokichi gave Kaito a half-amused look, as he amended that being thin with big eyes wasn’t a turn off (though actual physical descriptions weren’t really what Kokichi looked for for indications, when it came to Kaito). But grey…

Hm. That might be something to think about. 

Shaking his head, Kokichi gave a brighter smile to his husband and fiance. “Nah. Even if you were attracted to Drake, I believe in you enough that you wouldn’t make things weird. And…if he’s not doing well, and you’re okay with helping out in this way? That’s what friends are for.”

“...and, well, I trust you more than most people to know your limits, when it comes to bloodloss. I wanna trust Drake there too, but…” Kokichi looked a little sheepish. “I dunno. I trust you, Kai-chan, to speak up if things start feeling like too much. I’m okay with it, as long as you can make it home on your own later, without a hospital trip.”

“Aw, how much could he really need?” Kaito mused, looking back down at Miyako as she sucked at the small contents of her bottle, “He drinks those blood bags, doesn’t he? Those aren’t very big, and he just needs enough to tide him over till he can go grocery shopping. No big deal. The biggest pain is the scolding I’m going to get from Maki later.” Kaito chuckled, before looking up to Shuichi, “And you’re coming with, right?”

Shuichi nodded, “Of course.”

“There we go then. Extra set of eyes.” Kaito shrugged, “Let me just finish feeding our Miya here and I’ll lay her down for her nap. Kokichi, babe, you mind sticking here for an hour or two? You done with work today?”

Considering how kind Drake had always been to their family, and his general demeanor, Kokichi didn’t think that he’d be the type to try and suck Kaito dry. But even with Kaito’s familiarity, blood loss could be really dangerous. Kokichi just wanted them to be safe. 

Rolling his body around on the bed to get over to the side, Kokichi gave Kaito a thumbs up. “Yupp! I think I still need some time to decompress anyway--I won’t be headed anywhere. Miya-Miya and I can have some real cool chill time together. Do you want me to check in on you guys later, or I’ll just see you when I see you?”

“I’d say check in, just in case. Again, I don’t think anything’s gonna go wrong, but…” Kaito shrugged, “Let’s call it ‘Maki-insurance’. Give her less fuel to be mad at us later.”

-

After a short time of burping and changing Miyako, the baby happily splayed out in her crib, looking the picture of comfortable as she napped in the afternoon sun of the window, Kaito and Shuichi kissed Kokichi goodbye and headed over.

They made a brief stop, Kaito wanting to get himself a fruit juice protein shake, saying to Shuichi as they headed over, “Trust me, I’m gonna want this. We should get nuts too… let’s stop if we see somewhere on the way that looks like it’d sell nuts.” They did spot a place that sold nuts and dried fruit together, and Kaito was looking like a kid in a candy store, going down the street while occasionally popping some mix into his mouth, entirely pleased with himself. Shuichi watched him fondly before knocking at Drake’s door. “It’s us.” He called in, “Kaito’s here. Remember,” Shuichi said softer to Kaito, putting his finger to his mouth in a shushing motion, “Watch what you say here.”

“Grghm.” Kaito said, mouth full of trail mix. The nod suggested he was affirming.

Drake might’ve not needed to eat regular food, and his budget did benefit from that, but that didn’t mean his kitchen was empty. For one, a completely empty kitchen, even for a college student, was incredibly suspicious, and every now and then Drake made sure to cook something, both to keep his skills up, and to implant evidence in his neighbors’ minds by the scent alone. Too many people forgot that vague rumors of, ‘hm, my neighbor is a little weird’ could be damning in the eyes of a particularly ruthless and stubborn hunter. 

But also, it was just polite to offer food to guests, and while Drake wasn’t the most out-going guy, he did have friends, and human friends at that. 

It had been a long, long time since he prepared to drink from someone, but even if Kaito didn’t show up, it was better to have been prepared. And maybe Shuuichi would like them too. 

Drake had just placed down the bowl of trail mix next to the plated bun and glass of pineapple guava juice he’d prepared when the knock came. Answering the door, Drake sheepishly smiled before he blinked in surprise. “Welcome, and thanks Kai… Oh. You came prepared. Uh…”

Not knowing what to say, Drake stepped back, letting the royal couple into his apartment as he tiredly rubbed his neck. “Well, uh… Right. I’d be fine! But…I really do appreciate this, Kaito.”

Kaito looked past Drake after giving him a wave, seeing the setup… before giving a muffled, “Yaaaay! M’wore fweaking juice!” Kaito said through a full mouth– which was entirely unnecessary, he literally ate more trailmix just before he said it, before excitedly heading over to the coffee table, looking it over happily before swallowing, “Hey man, thanks for thinking of this, this looks great! And, don’t worry about it.” Kaito said, waving his hand dismissively as he sat down on the couch, eyeing the new trailmix with keen interest as he considered whether he should mix the bag he currently had in or not, “I could live the next month without food if I had to. Still wouldn’t want to. What’s the point of having friends like us if not for emergencies like this?”

Shuichi rolled his eyes at that a little, closing the door behind him as he gave Drake a small smile, “I told you he wouldn’t mind, and he has a point. Not that this is why you should be friends with ‘people like us’,” Shuichi said, rolling his eyes, “But it’s a nice bonus.”

“Mmmhm~” Kaito said, reaching for the juice and taking a sip… before saying, “This is for me, right? My bad if I just ate your snack, man, it just looks really good. I love stuff like this, trailmix and juices and all that.” Kaito grinned, before– quicker than Shuichi could react– Kaito’s shirt was off and tossed aside, Shuichi gasping at him as Kaito asked without any indication he was any less comfortable with his upper half entirely exposed, “Do you keep this here for guests, or do you just like it too?”

Drake liked to think he knew Kaito at least a little better, after their carriagewreck of an impromptu heart-to-heart, but really…he didn’t think these moods would ever not catch him off guard. 

The lack of food probably wasn’t helping that either. 

“Still…I am thankful,” Drake smiled softly. “If I can make it to my pick-up without someone asking me if I’m in, like, withdrawal or something, that’s a big plus for me. I don’t blame them for the mix-up but…geez. Not eating for three weeks is a stretch.”

Blinking as Kaito was suddenly shirtless, Drake raised an eyebrow before laughing softly. “The food’s mostly for guests, yeah. I don’t mind it, but…” He shrugged. There were a few foods he did just enjoy for the taste, but if there was no one to perform for, he usually didn’t.

“Um, you probably didn’t need to take off your shirt? I was planning on asking you anyway, but necks tend to be pretty conspicuous…and you have partners, which… I dunno. It’s a little weird. I can…do things just as well from your wrist or crook of your elbow, if you’d prefer?”

Shuichi sighed, his face a little flushed from partial embarrassment as he watched Kaito just shrug, “I just didn’t want to put you in the spot where you had to tell me to ‘get undressed’, man. Trust me, I know this whole setup is just as weird for you as it is for us.” Kaito grinned, “Shuichi stressed you didn’t want me to do this, that you haven’t bitten from anyone in a long time… like, it’s a unique situation, right? But it doesn’t gotta be weird.”

Rubbing the back of his neck a little, Kaito glanced at his arms before admitting, “I tend to only bloodlet from my arms when I’m feeling bad about things. Sort of impulsively, ya know? Bloodletting from the arms hurts otherwise, so over the years I’ve focused on my legs and sides… leaves less notable marks afterwords, doesn’t hurt as long. Not that I’m asking you to eat from my thigh–”

“Of course not! Absolutely not!” Shuichi said, scandalized expression turning red.

Kaito gave Shuichi a second to calm himself, before continuing, tapping the lower back part of his shoulder, “But what about there? Back puncture marks tend to be a little easier to muscle through, in my experience. I’ve been stabbed in the back twice, at once, and I got married, like, three days later. We can do the arm thing if that’s easier on you, but would you get what you need from here?” Kaito asked, tapping at the back part of his shoulder, “Helps that spot will be covered by even the most immodest of my shirts, honestly, if the mark lasts a minute.”

The pain was…something Drake was less concerned about, and not just because he wasn’t the person who was going to be experiencing it. But if Kaito’s arms were associated with self-harm? Then Drake wouldn’t push for that, convenient places as they were. 

But he absolutely wasn’t going to eat from Kaito’s thigh. Drake’s expression matched Shuuichi’s beat for beat, minus the flush, though he could only get out sputters, while Shuuichi shut it down. He had certainly heard of certain pairs feeding in…certain places, but Kaito was a friend. It would just be strange for both of them. 

A shoulder, though…

“Huh… A bit unconventional, but…that might work,” Drake hummed, before giving Kaito a sheepish smile. “Though…I’d think tank tops would show it easily? The marks shouldn’t be that long-lasting or attention grabbing, but…it still is two puncture points. A weird place to find a vein, though, so…I don’t think you’d get any questions on it.”

Nodding, Drake straightened slightly, getting back to business. Or…just getting more into business. Gods, it’d really been a long time… “They should clot immediately when I’m done, but I have some bandaids here,” he nodded to the table, “Just for safety. I don’t know if Shuuichi told you, but my…circumstances are anti-bacterial, so you shouldn’t have to worry about infection, even without bandaging up. And other than an initial pricking sensation, it shouldn’t be painful at all.”

Drake frowned seriously. “I don’t care if it’s “not that painful”, or “you can take it”. If you feel any pain at all, tell me. Even choosing to do so…you are going out on a limb for me. I’m not going to take any chances with your safety.”

“Your ‘circumstances’ are ‘clean’, huh?” Kaito smirked, resting his cheek on his palm, propping his elbow against his knee as he chuckled, “I know we’re keeping our voices down to limit the scandal this ‘arrangement’ could cause, but man, if your neighbors assume this is anything, it’s gonna be–”

“Kaito.” Shuichi said, huffing as he went to sit down at the armchair. “You promised to not make this weird.”

“And I’m doing that~” Kaito grinned at him, giving Shuichi a wink as he said, “Come on, it’s funny, that’s all. The potential rumors lesssss so,” Kaito admitted, looking briefly concerned… before shrugging, “Eh, so long as no one thinks we’re going behind Kokichi’s back, it doesn’t matter. Otherwise we’re just a couple in love, having a good time.”

“No one’s going to think anything at all.” Shuichi said stiffly, “The circumstances could be… clean… board game pieces. For the board game we came to play.” 

“Right. Board game.” Kaito said, covering his mouth a little because his smirk was starting to feel obnoxious even to himself, just enjoying teasing his fiance more than anything as he said, “I’ll be sure to speak up and let you all know if the ‘game’ we’re playing starts to hurt, even if I think I can ‘take it’.” He snickered.

“Kaito.” Shuichi scolded, looking more scandalized.

Kaito laughed, before looking to Drake, “But, that said, I will say something if it hurts, Drake. But it’s gonna be fine. I trust ya man. Just you don’t under-do it trying to watch out for me, this whole things pointless if you’re still starving when we’re done. I’m a big guy, I’ll be fine.”

Drake made a face, his frown twisting again, before he shook his head a bit. “Thankfully, I can’t really make out full sentences that my neighbors say, unless they’re yelling. But it never hurts to be cautious. Honestly…I’d think we were talking about giving you an amateur piercing or tattoo, more than anything…”

Which, while some people would be concerned about it, Kaito actually had gotten amateur piercings before. So it wouldn’t be that strange, all things considered, even if others didn’t know that fact. 

…even though his neighbors knew him, and would be baffled why anyone would go to Drake of all people for something that required steady hands and careful preparation. Maybe they’d figure his medical knowledge would be helpful. 

Well. Regardless. 

Sighing softly, Drake sat next to Kaito on the couch, getting himself into position. “...you know, that’s the exact attitude that doesn’t reassure me. But…we’ll communicate.”

Taking a few breaths, getting himself into the mindset and already feeling the slightly slippery texture of his venom starting to bead, Drake leaned in. He gently held Kaito’s shoulder for stability, before biting down. 

As his venom slid down his fangs into the punctures, for Kaito it should’ve felt like a slight pinprick, followed by a comfortable warmth and slight tingling. For Drake…

The vampire sighed softly, his eyes darkening. 

Now this was food.

Kaito was pretty casual and easy-going about this– or at least he was determined to be perceived as such– but he still winced slightly when he felt the bite. Not because it hurt, it didn’t, but just because of the act itself. Kaito was sincere in that he didn’t mind that idea of this, so long as Drake really didn’t hurt him, but… someone (a monster, his most primal part of himself warned him) was… well. Eating him. As basic an instinct it was, Kaito did find an irrational part of his brain deeply nervous by the idea.

And, to get past that nervous energy, Kaito immediately chuckled when he heard that soft sigh, craning his neck far to the left to glance back at Drake– the visual wasn’t that alarming, at least, not the first time Kaito had seen someone mouthing at his skin– as he said, “Enjoying yourself back there? Don’t answer, it’s rude to talk with your mouth full.”

Shuichi’s eyes had… widened a little. His hands clasping together suddenly on his lap, palms pressing tightly together. Kaito looked over at fiance and saw a small glisten of sweat on Shuichi’s forehead and his expression softened at the sight, “Shuichi, I’m fine, I barely feel it. Actually, it kinda feels nice? You ever put on those heat soothing gels, to ease muscle strain? Feels a lot like that. Heh, maybe I should have asked you to bite my neck after all, Drake.” Kaito chuckled, carefully reaching out to grab the glass of juice again and taking a small sip, “My neck muscles are constantly giving me problems. You could save me the expense of getting the professional massage I’ve been putting off. Kokichi tries to help, but he’s got these sweet, tiny little hands… useless for massages, but man, I love when he tries anyway. It’s so cute… Shuichi, maybe you should go get some water, handsome?” Kaito said, noting that Shuichi’s tight expression hadn’t changed at all, “Seriously, I’m fine, you don’t need to be so nervous.”

“Um…” Shuichi swallowed, glancing at the kitchen, “That’s perhaps a good idea…”

…thank fuck Shuichi’s dick was so heavy. Maybe neither of them would notice.

It wasn’t frenzy. Drake was still present in his mind, and he was still aware of what was going on around him. But…getting a fresh meal after a long time… One of his brethren had once described it as a filter of perception falling over the world. People were still people, not simply relegated to food (prey) as it would in a frenzy, but suddenly you were hyperaware of every vein and artery around you, the flow of blood not deafening, but loud and unignorable. Kaito and Shuuichi were glaringly hot in Drake’s perception, Kaito scalding in the best way under his mouth. 

He appreciated Kaito laughing, chatting, well, if not with him, than to him, even while his heart had picked up. In a way, that just made feeding easier, Kaito’s body pushing blood towards the puncture sites faster, and…well, it didn’t feel like a total panic. 

Though, for some reason, Shuuichi’s heart was racing. Drake would…have to address that. 

Soon. 

In a second. 

…that was probably enough. By Drake’s estimations, Kaito would probably have to sit and finish his snacks before heading home, but that was something Drake had been planning on insisting on even if he took less. He might’ve not been a part of the live feeding community, but he still had manners.

Pulling back, the venom doing its job and already starting to heal the punctures, Drake licked his fangs of the remaining blood, looking a little dazed. And not grey in the slightest, even a bit of a healthy flush making his skin glow. Even basking in a meal, though, Drake reached up to gently brace Kaito’s head against the back of the couch, looking over him in concern after a few blinks. 

“How are you feeling, are you okay?”

Kaito swallowed when Drake pulled his fangs out– that felt weird– and while a second ago he would have insisted he was totally fine, as he reached back almost instinctively to touch the wound, he made a small gasping sound. His muscles now more than a ‘little’ numb and warm, his attempt at movement showing him how weak the feeling in them had become as Drake caught him in the movement. Helping to lay him back against the head of the couch as Kaito looked at Drake in mild alarm… before chuckling a little nervously as he said softly, “Wow, that is a strong muscle relaxer. You should package and sell that stuff… does it wear off soon? Phew…”

“Are you okay, Kaito?” Shuichi said along with Drake, his attempt to control his body’s reactions to what he was seeing while at the exact same time trying to commit everything he was looking at to memory in fine detail for… reasons… interrupted at the slight hint of nerves in Kaito’s voice. Shuichi knocked out of his head as he gave his fiance a concerned look.

But Kaito immediately chuckled, just waving Shuichi off a little as he relaxed against the couch, staring vaguely at the ceiling before he closed his eyes, “I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ve had pills stronger than this, it’s fine. Still feels nice. Just weak.”

Nodding knowingly, though not losing his concerned expression, Drake stood up. “That still sounds normal to me… Still, I’ll get you a wastebasket, if you start feeling nauseous. And please, eat when you feel like you can.”

“And…”

His eyes shining with gratitude, Drake crossed an arm over himself before bowing deeply. “Thank you. Truly.”

When Drake returned with the bin, setting by Kaito’s leg, he let out a small, amused huff. “Some folks actually do sell that stuff, by the way. I told Shuuichi before, the owner of Alchemy and Augury has never let me pay in coin since I first found the shop. Versatile stuff, for his profession, I’m told.”

Kaito had been watching Drake with some amusement, his eyes heavy, and something warm running through him at the bow. He had managed to help one of his Luminaries… that was a nice feeling. Kaito was glad he had managed to do something.

“Oh man… gonna have to get a bottle from there. Man, if you kept the water low, taking a little bit of this and getting into a warm bath? Would feel like you’re flying.” Kaito mused, his nerves easing as he already started feeling the numbness start to ease. Didn’t last a very long time, but then, Kaito had to imagine Drake hadn’t given him that hard of a dose. Curiously, he asked, “How much of that stuff can you give a person? Could you theoretically knock someone out with a bite?”

Glancing over at Shuichi, seeing the odd look on his face, Kaito sighed before making a dedicated effort to sit up straight. Not wanting to keep worrying him as Kaito rested on his elbows a little, giving Shuichi a grin. “That wasn’t so bad, huh?”

Shuichi watched Kaito’s chest press together as he leaned forward, and suddenly stood up, beat red, as he said, “I’m going to get that water now!”

“Oh, uh, the… oh, okay.” Kaito said, watching Shuichi hurry around the couch and go to the kitchen. “...kay?”

“More than theoretically,” Drake said dryly, though he offered a small smile afterwards. “I mean…the blood loss would do it for you, so it was a point of scientific contention for a while, but…yeah. With enough and for long enough, you can knock someone right out. I probably gave you…a milliliter or so? It’s pretty potent.”

“...oh, but non-addictive!” he chimed in after a moment, suddenly realizing some concerns he hadn’t addressed. “And there shouldn’t be any side-effects, other than just what you’re feeling now, in some capacity, for…probably not more than an hour? There’ve been people who, uh, take it pretty regularly, and there haven’t been cases of it causing long-term health issues so…you should be just fine, once you rest up!”

Drake jolted a little as Shuuichi abruptly stood up, his eyebrows knitting together in worry. His heart rate was still elevated…but…

…

…maybe that’s something he…shouldn’t bring up bluntly. 

Moving Kaito’s juice closer to him, Drake looked over at his kitchen with a slight frown. “...would you be okay for a moment if I checked on him?”

“Oh, please do. My Shuicihi…” Kaito glanced over his shoulder at his fiance in the kitchen, his back turned to them, before whispering to Drake, “For being someone that smart and caution-focused? He doesn’t think his actions through very much. He can be a little reckless… so sometimes he just, like, immediately regrets his actions. I think volunteering me for this got to him when he saw the bite, ya know?” Kaito smiled softly, shrugging a little, “He’ll be alright, but he’s probably a little mad at himself. Go reassure him?”

Well, something got to Shuuichi when he saw the bite, but it probably wasn’t resulting in anger at himself. Drake had…no idea how this conversation was going to go but…Shuuichi was his friend. He had to at least try. 

“I’ll try my best,” Drake promised Kaito with an awkward smile before he got up, heading into the kitchen. It wasn’t a space all that separated from the living room, but there was enough of a barrier to form some semblance of privacy, especially if they kept their voices down. Though, Kaito was definitely still healthy enough to listen in, if he really wanted. 

Just give it a shot. 

Taking a bracing breath, Drake stood by the peninsula, trying not to box Shuuichi in by the sink. “Shuuichi?”

Shuichi needed this water to be colder.

He glared at it as he drank, like he was trying to intimidate it into chilling more as he sipped at it. ‘Sipped’, he gulped at it, somehow convinced this was going to calm him down, and when it didn’t, doubling down as he turned the faucet on again. Turning to Drake and then back to the water as he said, “Go fetch me a few more ice cubes from the freezer… thank you,” Shuichi added in as an afterthought, and then a thought after that he startled and asked Drake quickly, “Are you feeling better? K-kaito’s right, he can handle more if you need him too, i-if you’re…” Shuichi took a distracted sip of his not cold enough water, “... still hungry?”

Nodding, Drake opened his freezer, getting out his ice tray before coming over to his friend. He gave Shuuichi a long look before shaking his head. “I’m feeling much better--I really can’t thank you guys enough. But I’ve taken enough, not just for Kaito’s sake. Um…”

…he was always the worst at trying to subtly talk about things with Shuuichi. His friend was just too good at deflecting and keeping a straight face. 

Sighing, Drake leaned closer so Shuuichi could hear him whisper. “...I can chat with Kaito for a while if you need to…use my bathroom. I-I’m not judging, or anything. Happens more often with the person being bitten, but…it’s not unheard of, you know?”

Shuichi burnt bright red, gaping at Drake for a moment, glancing over at Kaito relaxing on the couch– Kaito had laid his arms back longways over the couch, laying his head back and looking for all intents and purposes extremely comfortable– before Shuichi grab the ice cube tray from Drake. Furiously breaking it– in the sense of breaking the cubes from it, not the tray itself– and pouring as many as could fit into the glass. Filling the glass with water, glaring at the water-ice cube mix, before grabbing an ice cube and just shoving it into his mouth entirely.

And after chewing on the ice a bit, Shuichi shot Drake an intense look… before whispering to him, “Are you crazy? You think I’m wasting this feeling on a quickie with myself in my friends bathroom? I’m gonna ravage that idiot.”

Then Shuichi suddenly looked horrified with himself, grabbing the brim of his hat and lowering it as he whispered to Drake, “I just feel bad that you… I’m so sorry, I had no idea that was going to affect me like that. I wasn’t trying to take advantage of you, I swear, I had no idea…”

Drake jolted, for once looking just as red as Shuuichi. He’d known Shuuichi long enough that his bursts of passion weren’t like looking at another person, but…well…for good reason, he’d never seen this kind of heat from his friend. It was…a little intimidating, if he were honest, and kind of funny, in an awkward way. 

He had been truthful--he’d been warned right away that some people’s reactions to feeding were, er, a bit more than just feeling relaxed. Apparently it was fairly common for dedicated couples to use feeding as another part of their relationship. It was a bit more uncommon to be the impetus for a different couple’s dealings, but…well, not unheard of.

Grinning sheepishly, Drake rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s alright, Shuuichi, I believe you. You were worried for me, and…I really do feel a lot better now. For me…that’s the part I’ll focus on.”

Between this and the not-date, though…maybe there was a conversation there for him and Shuuichi to have sometime though. 

Glancing to the couch, Drake sighed before giving Shuuichi a more stern look. “I’m sorry, but I’m insisting that Kaito doesn’t leave before he finishes eating. He probably would be fine going home, but I’m not sending you guys away on a maybe. Are…you going to be okay with that?”

Shuichi twitched, before taking the glass of 80% ice, 20& water and putting it against his own cheek. Staring miserably at nothing… he… probably couldn’t tell Kaito to get it together after losing a ton of blood so that they could get home so that Shuichi could lose his mind on him… that was a ‘bad fiance’ thing to do… even if Kaito would probably run back to the castle if he knew what was on his mind…

…oh fuck Kokichi are you there??

Back in the castle, Kokichi was laying back on their bed, hands plastered to his bright red face.

{I thought it wasn’t gonna get weird?!}

It wasn’t his fault! He didn’t know! How were you supposed to guess you’d have a thing for your fiance being bitten and eaten by someone else!? Shucihi couldn’t guess that one! He had thought the ‘eating things off of Kaito’ thing was as weird as it was gonna get!

“I’m going to die.” Shuichi whispered, rolling his glass around his forehead, glaring at the kitchen wall, “...Okay. Okay. I’m good. Again, I’m really sorry, Drake, if I thought there was a chance I could hide it from you I would have done it… how did you know?” Shuichi asked, genuinely curious as he looked over at Drake, whispering, “I assumed you just read it on my face, but, like… vampire stuff?”

Drake couldn’t help but laugh softly. Not, ‘if I thought I’d be into this, I wouldn’t have volunteered’, or even would’ve started a conversation about it beforehand. Just ‘I would’ve hidden it if I could’. That was so supremely Shuuichi. 

Nodding, Drake gave his friend a fond look. “Vampire stuff. Sensing blood is sort of our whole thing…sorry, man.”

“Kaito is worried that you’re more just freaked out by it, though,” Drake said, his smile fading. “I’m…sure this is a conversation for you two, but he’s worried about you.”

“Kaito!” Shuichi called out, still warily pressing the ice to his forehead, “You still alive over there?”

“Mmmhmm~” Kaito hummed back, now happily sipping at some juice.

“Okay well then all my concerns are eased!” Shuichi called back to Kaito.

Kaito chuckled over at the couch, before turning around, resting his head on the back of the couch as he grinned over at them, “Good~ Ya know, that was all weirdly fun? Drake, if you ever need it again, let me know, I’m all about it. That alright with you Shuichi?”

Shuichi stared at Kaito… thin eyebrows furrowing… sipping at his water, apparently literally physically incapable of saying no at this exact moment. Opening his mouth to say no, before sipping at the water again. “.............”

Kaito raised an eyebrow. 

“................ of course if Drake ever needs it–” Shuichi muttered, interrupting himself as he sipped at his water, mumbling indecipherably through the drink so it wouldn’t sound like he was encouraging it or not. Deeply embarrassed.

“Okay.” Kaito said, shrugging, before grinning at Drake, “you keep bribing me with drinks like this, and I’m all yours, man~ What’s mixed in this? It’s so damn good.”

Drake sighed softly, walking back a bit to lean against the end of the kitchen peninsula, standing at the sort of halfway between the kitchen and living room. “I think that’s something we can talk about another time, when we’ve all had more time to process.” And Shuuichi wasn’t about to combust from horny energy. 

…he wasn’t sure how he’d feel being a… A consultant? Sort of? In their relationship. That would take more thought too. 

Sighing softly at the, frankly, silly situation this had turned into, Drake offered Kaito a smile. “It’s pineapple guava juice. There was a sale, since we’re getting to the end of the summer fruit season. It kind of feels like drinking sunshine to me,” he chuckled. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I’m sure Kokichi’s talked to you all about it,” he shrugged. “There are some really neat foods you can get at the end of the season, with people trying to sell the last of their seasonal stock. Sure, the preserved stuff is around all year, but there’s always surprise excess of the fresh stuff.”

“Mmmmm… I bet someone in the kitchens can teach me how to properly mix some juices. I could make myself stuff like this.” Kaito mused, taking another happy little sip of the drink, before declaring, “Alright! I’m feeling great! Let me–”

“No, no, Kaito,” Shuichi sighed, heading over back to the living room– grasping and squeezing Drake’s shoulder for a moment– and sitting back down as he gave Kaito a scolding look, “Don’t get up and start jumping around like losing a gallon of blood is something you can slide off your back. Eat your trailmix and drink your juice.”

“Only a gallon? Drake, man, I’d hope you had more than that. I can walk off more than a gallon.” Kaito huffed, clearly insulted by this insult to his dignity, “Though, Drake, I know Shuichi wanted to help you grocery shop wednesday. Think you’ll still need the help? I mean, you already look a lot better.”

Drake gave Shuuichi a kind look at the squeeze for a moment, letting him take the reins on reining Kaito in. Kaito didn’t need both of them hounding him, after all…at least to start. Though he’d bet that Kaito would listen to his fiance about this. Hopefully.

“It’s not about what you can walk off, Kaito,” the vampire sighed. “It was never my plan to take just shy of what you could give. I had my fill, and I’m feeling like myself again. That’s all.”

Heading more into the living room to join Shuuichi and Kaito, Drake offered his friend a half-smile. “I don’t think I’d need the help on Wednesday, but I’d never say no to your company, Shuuichi. And I’m pretty sure this wasn’t the hangout you were expecting when you came over.”

“Plus…” His smile grew warmer. “I dunno how helpful it’d actually be. But…considering the kind of PI you want to be? I dunno. Could be interesting to see a little more of that side of the city, right?”

Kaito gave Drake a small, blank look… before glancing over at Shuichi. He didn’t say anything, but there was clearly a ‘?’ on his face.

Shuichi flushed a bit– not for mega-horny reasons this time– as he shifted the brim of his hat a little… “Drake means me wanting to make my detective career path ‘supernatural’ focused.”

“Oh!” Kaito said, tilting his head a little, sipping at his juice… before grinning at Shuichi, “Really? That makes so much sense though… like… but what’s that actually going to entail, though?” Kaito asked.

“Uh, well…” Shuichi sighed, laying his glass against his neck, cooling himself some more, “It’ll mean… well, I have to get my license still. But other then that, I’ll need to study and research a variety of supernatural fields, enough to give me enough common knowledge to be able to help people with a variety of problems, both mundane and otherwise. It would mean extending my network of people so that if I came across an issue I personally couldn’t fix, I could consult an expert or push the case forward to someone who can handle it. And–”

“Right,” Kaito said, giving Shuichi an increasingly stern look as he said, “...what are the odds it’s not dangerous, though?”

Shuichi gave Kaito a cool look at that… before sighing. “No less dangerous than being a royal detective ever was.”

“Which was my least favorite part of living there.” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a grim look, “One of the benefits of you coming here was you’d be safe–”

“I’d be free.” Shuichi said softly, “No one ever promised me I’d be safe. And very often I haven’t been…”

Kaito looked away at that. Chewing on his knuckles a little, clearly considering his next words carefully. “...You’ve been safe the last few months, at least.” Kaito said, glancing over at Shuichi, “I like you safe.”

“You like me accomplished.”

“True.” Kaito chuckled slightly, still chewing on his knuckles, “Very true…Shuichi, I don’t know how to punch magical things… I don’t know if Maki even knows how to stab them.” Kaito looked to Drake, “No offense, man.”

Shuichi smiled lightly at that, before saying softly, “It won’t be like Luminary. You and Maki won’t need to protect me. Like I said, I’m going to increase my social network and make myself ready for it. I’m… I’m excited for this, Kaito.” Shuichi said gently, but something final in his tone, as he said, “I want your support on this.”

“...” Kaito sipped at his glass, before chuckling and leaning back into the couch, staring at the ceiling, “Geeze, really putting me on the spot, huh? Not that I hate that side of you… hey, Drake?” Kaito said, looking to Drake, “What kind of detective do you plan to be?”

At first, Drake just thought that Kaito hadn’t caught onto the workaround speech Drake had used, but as that blank, confused look persisted…

Oh. Oh.

Drake froze, looking between Shuuichi and Kaito as Shuuichi explained…what he wanted to do with his life. Something…that Drake honestly thought they would’ve talked about already. Choosing a new direction for your life was kind of the sort of thing that you’d discuss with partners, right? Especially before telling a friend, right?!

He jolted as Kaito addressed him, stuttering for a moment. “S-sorry, I… Um, well…” 

Drake took a breath, shooting Shuuichi an apologetic look, hoping that it conveyed he hadn’t meant to out him to his fiance. “...to be honest, I’m not that sure. When I enrolled in the university, I knew I wanted to get my detective’s license, and, yanno, it’s something I’d want to put to use, but…the end goal of all this is still kind of nebulous for me. Though…I suppose I’ve always had an assumption.”

He shrugged shallowly. “Even if I was a more standard detective…I’m in certain communities. Regardless of what it says on my tax forms, I’d probably be helping out in my community either way. I wouldn’t feel right turning people away if they asked for my help.”

“Right, right… soooo what I’m hearing…” Kaito grinned at Drake. ‘Grin’. It had just… a few too many teeth, as he raised his juice to Drake as if raising a toast, “Is that Shuichi’s not in this alone! Which makes me–”

“Kaito, that’s not what he said–”

Kaito kept going, undeterred as he said, “--feel much better about this! Two gothic genius brains are better than one, and Shuichi having someone else learning the same stuff, watching his back? Well, that just makes sense to me.”

Shuichi sighed, rubbing his temple, “Kaito, you can’t browbeat my friend into doing what I want to do because you’re worried about me doing it on my own. You do know that’s not going to work, right?”

“I can certainly give it a shot.” Kaito chuckled, sipping the last of his juice.

Maybe this was a rare turn of good luck, or maybe just cosmic humor. Or maybe not something on such a grand scale at all. Sure, it would be tragic for Miyako to lose one of her parents, but…she was alive now, and Drake really had no idea what other factors would one day influence her in ending the current regime of the Flora. So, if he were to be completely honest, there actually wasn’t any reason for him to keep protecting Shuuichi, when it came to his vengeance, and the safety of the future. 

Instead…Drake just wanted to protect him, because Shuuichi was his friend. Nothing more complicated or invested than that. 

Chuckling softly, Drake gave his friend a lopsided smile. “I mean…I did say I’d probably end up in that field anyway. And I think it’d be a lot less nerve-wracking, working with a friend. If, when you’re a hot-shot detective with your own firm, you’re looking for a deputy? Hopefully I can impress you with my resume.”

“Let’s see, on your resume…” Kaito mimicked the act of ruffling through paper, ignoring Shuichi’s put upon sigh, “You… ah, I see you’re very good at ‘thinking ahead’, is that true? Oh, and I’m seeing, what is that… experience years in the triple digits? Very impressive, Mr. Soga, very impressive… among your skillsets I see ‘extensive knowledge Shuichi doesn’t have’ about the communities, annnnnd, oooooh, ‘super human strength’, very nice, very nice–”

Shuichi laughed a little at that, “Kaito, he doesn’t have super human strength, he just heals very well.”

Kaito gave Shuichi a small look at that… before giving Drake a somewhat dry look, “Uh huh. I don’t buy that. Drake, wanna wrestle??”

Oh…he could actually make a real resume, if he was working in the magical community. Though, as much as it’d make him feel better compared to his human-presenting one…there were far more impressive ones, and not just by older immortals. But. Well. Maybe a little bit of nepotism would serve him well. 

Letting out a bashful little laugh, Drake rubbed the back of his neck before shaking his head at Kaito. “I am stronger than I look, but I’m not wrestling you, Kaito. Not when all you should be planning for the next few hours is finishing that juice then heading home with Shuuichi.”

“I mean…I don’t mind you guys hanging out here, but…” Drake trailed off, giving Shuuichi a look.

“No, yes, we do have to go soon.” Shuichi said, “Yes, absolutely.”

“Really?” Kaito asked, giving Shuichi a surprised look, before tilting the rest of the juice back, “Look, I know I’m being a little presumptuous, but seriously, I would be happy to know you weren’t in this alone, Shuichi. I know I’m all ‘overprotective’ these days and it drives you crazy, but…” Kaito shrugged, “I’m sorry, I guess this is just how I am now. Plus, I bet it’d be more fun with Drake.”

“I understand your thought process, Kaito… Drake and I will talk about it, when you’re not here to do that passive-aggressive thing you enjoy doing so much.” Shuichi said sternly… before asking quickly, “But seriously stand up, how are you feeling?”

“Wha? Uh,” Kaito was a little surprised by the 180, but did push himself off the couch, standing up. Idly rubbing at the spot Drake bit him, shifting his weight back and forth on his heels a bit, “...yeah. I honestly feel fine, if you’re really itching to get going, handsome. Drake, can I steal your trailmix?”

It did sound like a nice dream. Being able to help people where they really needed it, Drake actually being helpful with his knowledge, the two of them making a difference in this changing world. But they both had licenses to obtain, and probably a lot of other things to talk over. So…no rush. 

Unlike what Shuuichi wanted, which warranted a big rush. 

With a little sigh of relief--not that he was all that worried about Kaito still being out of sorts--Drake nodded. “Please, help yourself. Expiration dates are my worst enemy. I hope you two get home safely.”

“Ha, nice. Let us know if you need anythin– oh, okay, I’m coming.” Kaito said, Shuichi immediately getting up to collect him, Kaito barely grabbing the trail mix in time as the two rushed off, “Bye Drake!”

-

Kaito walked with Shuichi towards the castle, eating some trailmix as Shuichi hung off his arm, his head resting on his shoulderblade. They walked in silence for a bit, before Shuichi asked softly, “You really do feel okay?”

“Mmhm.” Kaito said, “A little sore, but that’s okay. No worse that a workout burn, really.”

“So it wasn’t terrible?” Shuichi asked, looking up at him with some concern, “I didn’t make you do something you didn’t like?”

“Pff, no, you didn’t ‘make me’ do anything.” Kaito chuckled, giving him a quick kiss against his temple, “...wow, you are warm. Are you feeling alright?”

“Let’s just say we need to get home.” Shuichi said determinedly. 

“Sure, sure. Get you something cold if you’re feeling overheated, like… I don’t know, wanna pick up some icecream? I bet Kokichi would love some too.”

“...let’s go get some candy and pastries.” Shuichi said, his eyes distant. Seeing something in his head, “That would… help.”

“Hell yeah, let’s do it.”

Kokichi hadn’t just been a blushing mess on their bed the whole time--he absolutely would’ve gotten dizzy if he had--but by the time Shuuichi and Kaito made it back, and Kokichi met them in the hall, his cheeks were pinked once more. Especially feeling that the heat on Shuuichi hadn’t died down at all. 

Giving his partners a wide-eyed look, Kokichi quietly strained at them, “What happened?!”

Kaito grinned, showing him the bag, “We got treats!”

“It wasn’t my fault.” Shuichi said immediately. 

“What? It was your idea.” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a mildly offended look. 

“How was I supposed to know?” Shuichi groaned. Burying his face into Kaito’s increasingly confused shoulder. The none sore one.

Kokichi’s eyes lingered on the treat bag for a moment, sufficiently distracted, before he let out a long sigh. Looking between his partners before he took stock of their emotions as individuals, and not just the haze of emotions in front of him. 

…and Kaito teased him about being oblivious. 

“...do you want me to take Miya? We could go on a walk together.” And for how much he truly didn’t mind, and how much he loved his daughter…there was a certain note of disappointment in Kokichi’s voice. He might’ve not gotten riled by the situation itself, but just feeling Shuuichi’s emotions… What partner would he be if he felt nothing from his love’s pleasure!?

“...am I missing something here?” Kaito asked, glancing back and forth between Shuichi and Kokichi, both of them looking conflicted. 

“The only reason I’m not putting you on your back is because it would take too much damn time and I am not feeling patient so I’m going to ride you until you see those stars you love so damn much.”

“...oh shit, okay.” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a startled look, before glancing at his arm, “Handsome, your grip kinda hurts.”

“...sorry.” Shuichi said, loosening his grip on Kaito’s arm, sighing in embarrassed but still extremely horny fluster as Kaito chuckled uncertainly, “I mean, obviously only if you want too, if you’re really not feeling bad, I just… sorry, I so rarely get like this.”

“Uh, yeah, I mean…” Kaito grinned, his cheeks reddening, “Not that I’m complaining but… what the hell’s set you off so ba…” Kaito’s voice trailed off, his mind recontextualizing everything that had just happened, “...wait, what?”

“Don’t shame me! It’s not my fault!” Shuichi whined, burying himself in Kaito’s side again, “I couldn’t have known!”

“...oooooh, yeah, that’s gonna require a really serious ‘boundaries’ talk, handsome.” Kaito realized, frowning as the full implications of all that hit him, “That’s really not fair on Drak–”

“I knoooow we’ll talk about it later, please, I need this so badly.” Shuichi ranted into Kaito’s shoulder. 

“Wow, is that what I sound like?” Kaito mused, before giving Kokichi a sheepish look, “Uh… I’m sorry, ‘Kichi… it probably won’t take long? I can make it up to you later.” He promised.

Shuichi glanced at Maki’s door. “...we could get a babysitter.” He said quietly.

Kokichi flushed hotter in the face of Shuuichi’s need. Even if he could feel it, there was something just…jarring in the best way, hearing him express it. Maybe that’s why he caught his partners off guard in the same way so often. 

It really, seriously was something they had to talk about. Kokichi had sent them off, trusting the both of them. And even if this hadn’t become Shuuichi finding attraction to his friend…it was still something in that realm. Kokichi was genuine when he said that he didn’t mind his partners being attracted to other people, as long as they didn’t act on it, but…well. They’d talk about it. 

Later. 

Kokichi followed Shuuichi’s gaze to Maki’s door, shifting for a moment. “...she’s gonna make fun of us so hard.” But he still went over to knock gently on her door.

Maki opened the door after a second, giving Kokichi a small nod, “Hello…” before looking past him, seeing Shuichi cling to Kaito like his life depended on it, while Kaito just gave her a small wave and a grin. “...what’s happened?”

Keeping his voice low, Kaito said, “Maki, I’m about to get laid.”

“...” Maki gave him a long look, before looking to Kokichi, “Why is that my problem? Are you looking for protection? I can throw him down the stairs.”

“No! It’s not even me this time!” Kaito chuckled, wincing as Shuichi immediately punched him in the arm. Hard. “Ow, handsome, lighten up, I just lost a lot of blood…”

Maki’s eyes narrowed at that. “What?”

“Things are okay, Maki-chan,” Kokichi smiled softly, before sighing, his face heating up again. “Kai-chan and Shuu-chan helped out Drake, and…well, we wanted to ask if you could watch Miya for a little bit. It’s alright if not, but…”

Looking more embarrassed, Kokichi shrugged a little, kicking his socked foot into the floor.

Maki looked at Kokichi’s embarrassed little shuffle, Shuichi still hiding against Kaito, who just looked pretty pleased with all of this… “Fine. Miyako really likes that ugly monster doll of mine anyway, I can let her play with it for a bit down in the garden. I’m following up about the ‘bloodloss’ thing though.” She warned them, closing the door behind her as she headed over to their room, “How long do you need?”

“Man, at the way he’s talking, like, twenty minutes–”

“An hour, and take your time, thank you Maki!” Shuichi said quickly.

Maki rolled her eyes, going to go collect Miya.

-

About forty-five minutes later, Kaito was vaguely starting to worry that maybe they should have asked for two hours instead of one, because fuck Shuichi wasn’t slowing down.

Kokichi was cooling down next to Kaito’s arm, resting his head against his shoulder and idly, tiredly watching as Shuichi worked his way through round two, which was, frankly, starting to sting Kaito a little. It had been a while since Kaito was pushed this hard, and while he was into it, the whole process was a distinct reminder of how genuinely out of practice he was, cumming over and over again. Twice wiped him out. Three times was bordering Kaito doing something he hadn’t had to do since his wedding day: tapping out first. Or, well, second, considering his spent husband. 

But Kaito was only conscious of his upcoming limit in a vague, detached sort of way. His surface thought could only say oh fuck, oh fuck, oh GOD as Kaito gripped Shuichi’s hips between his fingers for dear life, mostly just trying to think any coherent thought at all as Shuichi bounced on his hips. Kaito usually tried not to stare in that area too much, out of respect for Shuichi’s hangups, but his whole world was nerve ends and sweat and the scent of sex right now, and Kaito’s gaze was following the small bounce of Shuichi’s chest with growing fascination, glancing up at Shuichi’s red, lost stare as Shuichi found his pleasure on him, using the aim of his bounce to guide Kaito’s dick where Shuichi wanted it to go.

“F-fuck, Shuichi, ‘m close.” Kaito half warned, half begged, a little genuinely afraid Shuichi would ask him to keep it together for just a little longer… before grinning as Shuichi took Kaito’s wrist and put Kaito’s hand on his dick. Taking his cue and furiously working Shuichi’s cock as Shuichi bounced on him harder.

Kokichi, out of the three of them, was loudest. Just, as a rule, Kaito’s husband couldn’t seem to orgasm without screaming it out to the world. But as Kaito’s body seized up, gripping Shuichi’s cock probably a bit too tight as his throat closed and no sound escaped beyond the small clicks of his jaw setting tightly, Kaito gritting his teeth through his orgasm, Shuichi’s voice rose high as he said, “Oh, fuck yes, right there. Just like that, fuck, fuck, FUCK– Haa-aaah-ah-ah… oooooh, hrm.” Shuichi gasped, his body arching back for a moment, his spine going rim-straight, before his body slowly relaxed. Shuichi panting and covered in sweat as he rested forward, still sat on Kaito’s cock as he let his head fall a little, holding himself up by his arms as he caught his breath.

“...phew…” Kaito grinned shakily, giving his fiance an adoring look as Shuichi glanced up at him, Kaito playing a little with the cum on his chest, Shuichi’s long dick shooting right past his stomach and up Kaito’s chest and neck. Shuichi flushed at the image, Kokichi spent next to Kaito, Kaito covered in cum and looking pretty genuinely spent himself as he said, “Got that… hah… got that out of your system there, handsome?”

“...” Shuichi sighed deeply, collapsing on top of Kaito, “Fuck.”

Kokichi giggled softly, rolling slightly to reach an arm over across Shuuichi’s shoulders, rubbing his fiance’s back gently. “I think that’s a good way to sum it up, yeah. Man…it feels like forever since we’ve done this; all three of us.”

He’d honestly forgotten how good it was. Of course he loved anytime he was together with his partners, but…the three of them together really was something special. 

Snuggling more against Kaito’s arm, Kokichi lazily kissed his husband’s shoulder, forming his body to his. They still had a little time for cuddles, at least. Even if right now it was looking like taking a quick shower and putting on some clothes would be the only things he’d do before sneaking right back into bed. 

Though…it wasn’t like he was gonna pass out right then and there. 

“...you still feelin’ okay, hun?” Kokichi asked softly, peeking up at his husband. “Like…not dizzy or weak or anything?”

“I mean…” Kaito chuckled a little, closing his eyes tiredly as he rubbed the back of Shuichi’s neck a little, “...not so much ‘dizzy’, but it’d be a straight up lie to say I wasn’t feeling a little weak. My body feels like it weighs a hundred extra pounds.”

“Jerk.” Shuichi muttered sleepily into his neck, still laid out on top of him, Kaito still deep inside of him.

“I mean despite the obvious extra weight,” Kaito chuckled, placing a small kiss on top of Shuichi’s head. “I just mean my muscles feel like they’re lead and my energy reserves are absolutely in the reserves, right now. That said? … that was fucking amazing.” Kaito sighed, looking a little blissed out… before saying softly, “What about you two? Not like I got too many chances to beat you two up, Shuichi really meant it when he said he wanted me on my back–”

“I’m sorry.” Shuichi said softly, not sounding all that sorry, “You just looked really nice like that. You can be more aggressive next time, I know you like that.”

Kaito laughed lightly at that, “You were in a ‘mood’, I didn’t mind accommodating. Still, you both good? Hips, all that?”

Kokichi laughed, rubbing Shuuichi’s back more. It had been the exact mood Shuuichi was in, but…yeah. If pressed to call it, Kokichi would definitely call this time a ‘Shuuichi-led session.’ 

Nuzzling against Kaito’s skin, Kokichi hummed. “Mhmm, I’m all good. But…when I get up, I can go get us a snack? If you’re feeling worn out… Sleep might be the best answer, but can’t hurt, I think…”

“...that was a lot of fun,” he kissed Kaito’s cheek, running a hand down Shuuichi’s spine.

“Yeah~” Kaito said, turning his head and inviting Kokichi to kiss him more fully, only not stealing one because a heavy Shuichi was keeping him pretty trapped. Hard to steal kisses that way. “I missed you guys…maybe we can ask Maki to give us, like, twenty extra minutes to open the window up, air out the room a bit. I haven’t been this messy in ages, I gotta imagine we all stink.” Kaito laughed, getting his kiss and then taking another kiss while Kokichi was in kissing range, before laying his head back on the pillow, “Foods a good idea too. Food, new sheets, shower… Miya, you don’t know what we go through for you. All I want to do is go to sleep.”

“Have to clean myself out. Got sick the last time I just left it. Forgot about it.” Shuichi murmured, ignoring Kaito’s alarmed little worried sounds at that, “It was fine, I was just too embarrassed to mention it last time. Had to look up what had happened and how to take care of it.”

“I’m sorry, I should have taught you about that. I’m just… really bad about it.” Kaito admitted, kissing Shuichi’s head in apology, “I’d rarely get sick, on my side of it, and when I did the lesson never really stuck. And I never really followed up on any of my partners before, to see if they were taking care of themselves like that. Always just sort of assumed they either were or weren’t bothered by it. That’s my bad… Kokichi,” Kaito said, realizing he genuinely didn’t know as he gave his husband a suddenly worried look, “You do know what we’re talking about, right? I don’t think we ever had this talk.”

“Mm…she might relent for Miya’s sake. I could absolutely take another twenty minutes,” Kokichi sighed, stretching languidly on their sheets. At least one of them actually needed to stay awake when they got their daughter back, but…well, Miyako might be gracious enough to let it be a relaxed afternoon. 

But even for the most exhausted of them, there were still a few matters to take care of. 

Kokichi peeked over at Shuuichi with a worried expression before meeting Kaito’s. “I know, yeah. Of all the stuff about sex I was pretty ignorant too, I did know about cleaning myself out. That and taking a piss afterward.”

He frowned a little more at Shuuichi. “...I’m sorry I never brought it up too. It’s something I don’t really think about until I’m already in the shower.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Shuichi yawned, snuggling into Kaito a bit… before saying, “Though, Kaito, I need you to get out of me now.”

“Five more seconds, you’re so warm–awww.” Kaito groaned as Shuichi lifted his hips, his cock flopping out as Shuichi laid back down, “Cruel. So cruel.”

“I know, I’m terrible.” Shuichi smirked, resting his head back down, enjoying the feeling of Kokichi’s arm tracing and laying heavily on his back as he listened to the slowing of Kaito’s heartbeat. “It feels like an honest mistake. And, well, the first time you all left yourselves in me, it basically worked out. Even if that stuff does stinky poops sometimes. Just, truly horrendous poops, they’re getting notably worse as time goes on.”

“Sign of a healthy little girl~” Kaito said contently, before admitting, “I really should have known better. I could have even made it sexy. Some people think the cleaning part is sexy.”

“Really?” Shuichi said, his nose wrinkling slightly at that idea… before shrugging, “Well, who am I to judge, by this point.”

“...yeah, we should.” Kaito sighed, shifting slightly under Shuichi’s weight to make himself more comfortable, “We should talk about that.”

“But I’m comfy and tired.”

“I know, I know, but… we still need to. I mean, don’t get me wrong, that was all great, but… I rarely see you that into it, Shuichi. Maybe a handful of times. And it’s fine, by the way, before we get into any of it, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re my handsome, intelligent, brave–”

“What’s the point you want to make, Kaito?” Shuichi sighed.

“...I have a few I want to bring up, but the most urgent one right now is… you didn’t ask me to go do that with Drake because you wanted this to happen,” Kaito clarified, something uncertain in his tone, “Right? Because… that’s not entirely okay, Shuichi, to either me or Drake. I don’t like the idea of you… manipulating me to act out horny scenes with other people who don’t know what’s happening.”

Shuichi let Kaito say his piece, mostly because he didn’t want to seem over defensive, before he shifted off of Kaito and sat up. Laying out his legs across Kaito and Kokichi, but otherwise just wanting to compose himself a little as he subconsciously pulled the blanket up around his shoulders to hide himself a bit as he said, “No, that’s not what happened. I didn’t set that situation up knowing it’d affect me like that. I promise, Kaito, I wouldn’t do that to you, or anyone else.”

Kokichi snorted softly. Yeah…the first time they did that, nothing came back out for nine months. Not the greatest situation for a learning experience. But, well…now they all had learned. And they could be better about communicating about it. Depending on how lenient Maki was, maybe they could still take a shower together in a bit.

…maybe a longer bit. 

Frowning softly, Kokichi shifted to sit up a little more, listening to his partners. “You did seem a little panicked by how into it you were, when I checked in,” he said softly. “I believe you, that you didn’t set this up on purpose. Though…”

He glanced between his lovers. “...this might be something to get to in a sec, but…what actually did happen? I could tell what you were feeling, but…I’m not actually a mind reader like that.”

“For once, I couldn’t even begin to tell you. I literally didn’t notice anything was up until Shuichi basically told me he wanted to ream me.” Kaito said, petting Shuichi’s leg a bit, “Which, by the way? Incredibly sexy. A little intimidating, sure, but damn. I hope the next time you want to do that, you do have the patience for opening me up, cause fuck I bet you would have destroyed me.” Kaito grinned, looking up at Shuichi adoringly as he said, “And I’d have thanked you for every second of it.”

“You literally look like you’d cry if I touched your dick right now, and you still talk like that. It’s really just ‘you’, huh?” Shuichi mused, smiling lightly as Kaito chuckled. Though, something sober went through Shuichi as he tried to think of how to explain himself, “...everything was fine, at first. Kaito was making a few sexual jokes and he took his shirt off, which, well… it’s not like that’s not a pleasant sight on its own. But… that’s not what got me.” 

Shuichi rested his body on his legs, curling his arms around his knees as he said, “And… I don’t think it’s Drake. It’s not.” Shuichi clarified, wanting to get that point across clearly as he said, “The fact that it was Drake is basically inconsequential, I’m sure of it. It was just… watching Kaito sit there and be still and compliant as someone…” Shuichi’s face started to burn again. Still somehow capable of being turned on by the memory, “...came up behind him and just… dug their teeth in. That little wince and then watching him relax…”

“...I have questions.” Kaito sighed. Shifting more to get Shuichi to let up on his legs so that he could sit up and resettle the pillows, resting on the headboard as he admitted, “And honestly, they might be serious questions.”

Shuichi gave Kaito a mildly sad look at that, “I told you, it wasn’t on purpose–”

“And I believe you. Just so we’re all clear? If you tell me something about your boundaries and kinks and what arouses you? I believe you, and I’m not judging. I promise, that goes for both of you. I believe you, and I am not judging.” Kaito said strictly, giving them both a stern look, “But if we don’t talk about this stuff, bad things can happen. Liberties that shouldn’t be taken are, lines that shouldn’t be crossed are invisible… not that that’s what happened with the ‘waking up to it’ thing, Kokichi, just so we’re clear, I shouldn’t have crossed that line either way… but we still gotta be clear about other things to make certain we’re not setting up patterns that one of us hates.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve had a talk like this.” Shuichi mused, brushing his hair back a bit, “Alright, Kaito. What’s the questions?”

“...We’re sure that it’s not specifically Drake?” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a soft but stern look, “It can be. I’m not judging. We’re not judging… well, maybe I shouldn’t speak for Kokichi, but… Shuichi, you can be kind of…” Kaito paused, thinking about how to word it, “... ‘unusual’ in how you treat Drake, when it comes to me. You set me up on a date with the guy when you thought I needed a stranger to vent too. You can call it whatever you want, that was a date, I knew it and Drake did too. The man bought me flowers.”

Shuichi winced a little at that, before murmuring, “Drake’s just very… earnest. I didn’t ask him to… I don’t think it’s Drake specifically. I just…” Shuichi shrugged a little helplessly, “Trust him. I think that just results in me not being as worried about how stuff like that would be perceived, with him. You really liked going on dates, Kaito… I worry about you. I hoped going on a pretend date with someone I trusted would be… nice for you.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a sad nod, as he clarified that it hadn’t been an invisible boundary that had been crossed, when he raped him. But he did have a point with everything else. They had seen first hand how much things could spiral in the bedroom if you weren’t clear about your boundaries, and to a lesser extent, preferences. It was important to talk about them honestly. 

And it wasn’t so much that Kokichi thought Shuuichi was being dishonest about his feelings for Drake--his feelings backed up everything he said--but…

“You do mean well,” Kokichi said softly, “When you set up that date for Kai-chan, and then looking out for Drake today. And I believe you that you’re not trying to bring them together on purpose, any more than just that they’re both important people to you. You were specifically trying to help Kai-chan before, and out of all of us, Kai-chan is kind of the only person who would be able to and would most likely agree to give blood.”

“...but I do think that the trust you have in Drake makes him special to you,” Kokichi continued. “That might seem like kind of an obvious statement…but I think it might be something worth some self-reflection. Maybe not to an end of changing behavior, but just to understand yourself better.”

“Though, even if it really doesn’t have to do with Drake…we do know you have a food thing,” Kokichi shrugged. “And you like watching me eat stuff off of Kai-chan. Maybe this is just an extension of that.”

“...” Shuichi sighed, running his hand down his face a little as he said, “I like Drake quite a bit. I think he’s endearing and earnest and kind… but I don’t think…” Shuichi sighed again, looking genuinely burdened as he nodded, “I’ll reflect on it. I sort of have too regardless… another thing that happened, Kokichi, was Drake was very much aware of how I was affected. I was so embarrassed, I felt like I had taken advantage of him. He told me he understood, but obviously we couldn’t get into it much, so… I’ll have to talk to him and explain myself at some point anyway. I’ll be able to better explain myself to everyone soon, I promise.”

“He noticed? How did I not notice?” Kaito grumbled, before shaking his head, “Doesn’t matter! More important stuff to talk about! … how to word this next question…” Kaito murmured to himself, looking genuinely concerned about it as he crossed his arms over his sticky chest, resting his head back on the headboard with a small ‘thump’. “...Shuichi, you treat me and Kokichi pretty differently, sexually. And, that’s not a problem in and of itself,” Kaito said quickly, “I know I do the same thing between you and Kokichi. You both endlessly attract me, but that attraction inspires me in different ways. You guys have seen me, I can lose it on Kokichi.” Kaito said, reaching over and idly running his hand through Kokichi’s hair, soothingly scratching his scalp a little as he said, “Kokichi brings out a genuine frenzy in me that, frankly, is kinda unique to him. Me coming to grips with that has made me realize the last few months how careful I have to be with Kokichi. More careful than I ever have to be with you, Shuichi, because I just lose myself in Kokichi.”

Shuichi tilted his head, giving Kaito a dry look that was somewhat softened by the amusement he was clearly feeling, “I’ve recognized that same pattern, but I can’t say hearing you just say it plainly like that doesn’t make me a little jealous.”

Kaito gave him a small smile, “We’re being honest with each other, and that doesn’t mean the ways you attract and inspire me to act aren’t also amazing. They’re just different. And I bring it up to lead to my next question… do we need to establish separate boundaries, between you and me and how you and Kokichi act together? Cause… you do like to be a little rough with me, man. And while I’m fine with that, it might pay to directly acknowledge that and start looking at what those differences actually mean. Like, Kokichi referenced the eating things off of me, thing, but honestly? The last time I saw you get that worked up over me? I was in handcuffs hearing some… kind of difficult things, handsome.”

Shuichi winced. “...did I… hurt you? Doing that?”

Kaito grinned a little thinly at that, “No, but you and I both know you were playing real fast and loose with my upper limits there.”

Kokichi cringed a bit, just from the second-hand embarrassment. It was bad enough, getting surprisingly turned on in public; for someone then to notice it? Mortifying. At least it sounded like Drake took it alright, but…yeah. It did sound like a conversation Shuuichi and he needed to have. 

But they weren’t quite done with this one. 

Kokichi often remarked to himself, the differences of being with Shuuichi and Kaito, both separately and together. Different, but good and special, was usually what he ended up with. But…

Sighing softly in appreciation of the fingers in his hair, Kokichi leaned against Kaito’s shoulder. One of the major things that happened when they all got together was that they…looked out for each other, when one of them was ramping up the pace too quickly. Tempering each other out, in a way that got lost when it was one-on-one. At the time, Kokichi mostly considered it a facet of newness and inexperience, but…that wasn’t quite true. 

The time Kaito tried to deepthroat Shuuichi came to mind. 

Kokichi frowned a bit, looking between his partners. “...difficult things?”

Kaito didn’t look startled, but he did sigh, running his hand over the back of his neck. Massaging the muscles there a little as he seemed to think about it. “...right.” Kaito said, “Never did talk about it afterwards, huh… sorry, I…” Kaito looked uncertainly at Shuichi, “Maybe I shouldn’t have brought that up.”

Shuichi’s lips thinned, his expression blank for a moment… before he shook his head, “No, it’s alright. It’s not fair to not let you talk about that if it's still bothering you after all this time, and it’s not like anything is specifically a secret. Kaito… has always emphasized to me that he wanted to know exactly what happened between me and Nao.” Shuichi explained, turning to Kokichi. “Wanting to know what happened to understand, to not make the mistakes she did, that sort of thing… when I finally found the courage to tell him about it, it…” Shuichi’s brow tightened, something uncomfortable in his expression. It did sound very ugly said aloud, he realized in that moment, “...was when I was setting us up for sex, in my office. Kaito was wearing that yakuta, and I just…”

Kaito chuckled at that, “That outfit really got him.”

Shuichi nodded tensely at that, “I was just feeling bold and a little wild, so I handcuffed him to the desk because I thought it was attractive. And doing that reminded me of something Nao did once, and I just… found myself talking about all of it. Kaito made it known pretty immediately that he either wanted to talk about Nao or have sex, but he didn’t want to do both and… while we didn’t have sex while I was talking about Nao, I definitely… pushed at that boundary, a few times.”

“Yep.” Kaito said, popping the ‘p’ dryly. “I’m still glad you told me, and if that’s just how that was going to happen, I’m still glad it did. But that did put me in a pretty uncomfortable position there, handsome… covered in food, being bitten. Do you just like seeing me uncomfortable?”

Shuichi blinked at that, something both offended and confused in his gaze as he said, “...no?” Pausing for a bit, before he looked even more confused. Clearly uncertain.

Kokichi still looked between his partners with that worried expression, but he listened intently as they explained. And…honestly, it really wasn’t as bad as the feeling “difficult things” put in his heart. He figured that Kaito would’ve been more adamant about shutting it down, if Shuuichi had tried to call him names during sex, since that was one of Kaito’s hard no’s, but…Kokichi had definitely been thinking in that realm. 

Pushing the boundary of Kaito’s comfort, separating the difficult conversation of Nao and the pleasure of sex, was…still kind of shitty, but Kokichi’s expression relaxed. At the very least, it seemed like an easier issue to talk through. 

“Okay, I see…” Kokichi gave Shuuichi a small smile. “I’m glad that you could confide in Kai-chan. And…even if it wasn’t in the best way…” He sighed, looking between them. “...well, it does sound like you’ve both talked about that between each other, at least.”

But that was another data point in a pattern. 

Kokichi gave Shuuichi another long look before gently rubbing his side with his ankle, wanting to be affectionate, but not quite feeling up to leaning over all the way. “...you said you liked seeing Kai-chan be compliant, with Drake. Do…you like seeing Kai-chan submissive? And then…wanting to see how far you can push that?”

Kokichi’s frown went more sympathetic. “I don’t mean that in a scary way, by the way… Shuu-chan just…doesn’t have a lot of impulse control, when he’s curious or interested in something. You do that with me, too. You like seeing where the limits actually are.”

There was a small feeling from relief in Shuichi, at Kokichi’s lack of reaction to the Nao topic. Part of Shuichi’s discomfort in explaining had been the fear of repulsion in Kokichi. After all, for such an intimate moment, they had been discussing a woman that, regardless of their most recent history, Kokichi had once considered family. Shuichi had been afraid just the act of talking about her in that context would upset him. But, then, maybe Nao’s actions had already ripped that bandaid off, for Kokichi.

‘Uncomfortable’ was a word that made Shuichi immediately want to push the idea away from himself. It not ringing entirely true and was too ugly a concept for Shuichi to want to associate with how he saw Kaito. ‘Submissive’, though…

Kaito saw the recognition light up in Shuichi’s gaze, and couldn’t help but laugh. Putting his arm around Kokichi’s shoulder and pulling him up just a bit to give him a quick kiss as he whispered, “I think you might have hit bingo, babe.”

Shuichi flushed, looking a little flustered as he said, “Well, so? That’s… that’s normal, isn’t it? That’s not uncommon!”

“It isn’t.” Kaito agreed goodnaturedly.

“Kaito, you know, he’s… very attractive! And strong! It’s not so unusual to think there’s something exciting, in making someone strong do what you want!”

“I agree.” Kaito nodded.

“A-and I… I’m not trying to hurt him! It’s not about that for me!” 

“We know.” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a soft look. “You haven’t done anything to be ashamed of, Shuichi.”

“Right, I… I…” Shuichi floundered, realizing he wasn’t sure who he was arguing with. No one, he supposed, Kaito and Kokichi looking entirely understanding as Shuichi ranted. A little embarrassed at that, Shuichi paused, thinking about his defensiveness, “...I… I don’t ever want to be the person I was under the pollen again.”

“Hey. Hey.” Kaito frowned. Reaching out to Shuichi and pulling him into the hug now, Shuichi sighing as he let himself be led to laying against Kaito’s chest, Kaito running his hands up and down Shuichi’s arms as he said sternly, “This? The food table thing, the handcuffs, the bite, you liking to see me act submissive? None of this equals that. Not even fucking a little bit, I don’t care who suggests otherwise. The differences are night and day, any other interpretation is looking at this situation at the most superficial level. It’s not the same.”

“...I like experimenting.” Shuichi said softly. “I like this playful energy me and Kokichi get, when we’re trying new things and I find some new way to touch him that surprises him. I love to surprise Kokichi… and I do think you’re at your most attractive, Kaito, when you’re acting like… well, when you act like I’m in charge of you. I liked watching you be careful to not let the food spill off of you, and I liked seeing you locked up on the desk, and… I liked watching you sit and let someone bite and feed on you because I asked you too. I’ve never been more turned on in my life.” Shuichi said, “...post-pollen. In a none-sexual situation to begin with.”

“How in the fuck did I not notice, seriously.” Kaito grumbled. “I am losing my edge.”

Kokichi smirked slightly--though the expression was a little too sweet to truly be called a smirk, with all of its smug connotations--pleased with being right as he could practically see the word slotting into place in Shuuichi’s head. Because it really wasn’t that Shuuichi liked seeing Kaito uncomfortable or embarrassed--he just liked being in control, being free to explore, and…sometimes situations that were a little uncomfortable or embarrassing happened as a result. In a way, that was one of the best indications that Shuuichi was actually in control, if his partners did something they were unsure about, because he asked. 

There was nothing wrong with it. It was just something they now needed to acknowledge and set boundaries with. 

It was just like proposing laws around new technologies, but sexier. 

Kokichi reached over as Shuuichi was brought into reaching range, settling a hand onto Shuuichi’s hip and rubbing little circles into his skin. “I like being surprised by you, honey. I think the times when we ride the line of makin’ out and conducting a science experiment are a blast. And when we’re together, the way you treat Kai-chan doesn’t make me concerned--any more than I would be anyway, when the two of you get so wrapped up in each other I’m worried you’ll forget to breathe,” he chuckled. 

“You’re not acting like you were on spores,” Kokichi said firmly. “You’re just…Shuu-chan. Discovering things about yourself along with discovering things about us.”

“Oh, look who's talking?” Shuichi huffed a little, poking at Kokichi’s chest and imitating– rather poorly, barely not sounding like himself at all– “Kaaaaai-chaaaan, u-aaaaaaaaah! I have no idea how you even hold those notes for as long as you do. How are you not passed out at the end of every orgasm?”

“Shuichi, you do not get to pounce me like you’re trying to break my hips with yours and then tease Kokichi about being enthusiastic.” Kaito said, flicking Shuichi’s shoulder, “Bad fiance. Bad.”

“...besides, he actually usually sounds like this–” Kaito said, opening his mouth before grunting as Shuichi immediately covered his mouth.

“No. It’ll sound weirdly realistic coming from you and I can’t cope with that right now.” Shuichi said.

Kokichi lit up red, pouting, huffing as his loves bantered, though he did give Shuuichi a thankful nod. Kaito was too good at impressions, and Kokichi would never come up from under the sheets if he heard his husband imitate how he sounded when he came. 

“Oh shut it. I like to think of it as a compliment,” he pouted, sticking his nose up a bit. “You guys certainly don’t seem to mind in the moment.”

“If I could get a recording of the ‘kichi noises you make, Kokichi…” Kaito sighed, something genuinely longing in his voice, “They drive me insane. Fuck, you have no idea… wonderful little ‘Kichi noises…”

Shuichi sighed, giving Kokichi a sympathetic look, “As the partner who doesn’t make him ‘frenzy’. I don’t know how you put up with it.”

“...I think a boundary for me…” Kaito mused, holding his lovers close and looking at the ceiling, “...would be I need you to let me know if you want me to be submissive, when we get started. Cause I do like to be aggressive, Shuichi. I don’t mind being submissive when that’s what you’re craving, but just because I don’t get as lost in my aggressive feelings with you as I do with Kokichi, doesn’t mean I don’t like, ya know…” Kaito grinned, shrugging slightly, “Grabbing your hips and making your body shake. And I don’t want to have sex where we’re competing over that. I feel like that’d encourage me to take it too far, and I might hurt you by mistake, trying to wrestle control from you.”

“We don’t know I wouldn’t hurt you by mistake.” Shuichi grumbled.

Kaito frowned, “No, I’m serious. How you and I take control of sex is actually really different, Shuichi. You like seeing me be submissive and do what you say, but even when you handcuffed me, we both acknowledged I could get myself off that desk if I really wanted too. I’m strong. And my version of aggression can be really physically violent. I pin and I hold down and I bite and I bruise. And the last thing I want to do is be rough with you and actually hurt your feelings because you weren’t into it and I overpowered you. I need to know how you want me to act beforehand.”

“...I mean, alright. I suppose I’m just embarrassed to admit that’s where my mind is at, beforehand.” Shuichi sighed. “But yes, I can do that.”

Kokichi could only sigh and nuzzle Kaito. He wasn’t sure how he put up with it either. Probably because Kaito was cute and loving and it felt nice being wanted, and Kokichi loved seeing his husband happy. 

They each had a point, about accidentally crossing that boundary. Kaito was strong, objectively and compared to Shuuichi and Kokichi. There weren’t a lot of positions that they could and would willfully put Kaito in that he wouldn’t be able to break out of, if he really wanted to. And conversely…there were situations Kaito could put them in that they wouldn’t be able to break out of without assistance. He and Kaito had had that talk before, and Kokichi had brought it up with Shuuichi that he really needed them to listen, because he couldn’t fight them. 

However, being able to break out didn’t mean that Kaito couldn’t get hurt. Shuuichi really, genuinely could hurt Kaito by accident, whether Kaito acknowledged that pain or not. 

But the answer to that was what Kaito asked. To communicate their wants. 

Smiling slightly, Kokichi rubbed Shuuichi’s hip some more, trailing down to his thigh before coming back up, the smile fading. “...I might want to think about it some more, but…I don’t think I’m comfortable with you guys including another person for…a sexual purpose, I guess.”

“This time was an accident, I understand,” Kokichi quickly assured, giving Shuuichi a nod, “But… Even if it’s something just to set a mood, I think that makes me uncomfortable. Like…like I’d be fine if you wanted to watch a burlesque show, or something, but I wouldn’t be comfortable having sex afterward. If that makes sense?”

Kaito gave Kokichi a startled look at that… and then gave Shuichi an even more startled look as his fiance sighed, rather than immediately saying ‘of course not’. “Holy shit, were we considering that?”

“No.” Shuichi said sternly, taking Kokichi’s tracing hand and entwining his fingers with him, “...but it is probably something I needed established, anyway. It was purely an accident, but watching that really did affect me, Kaito… I’m still jealous of your attention but…” Shuichi frowned. Pushing his head against Kaito’s chest in slight frustration, “...ugh. I could see a version of myself tempted to play with that mentality again. ‘Cucking’.”

Kaito snorted, “That sounds so weird to hear out of your mouth.”

“Kaito, this is serious. We’ve had so many boundaries talk before, but I don’t think we’ve ever really talked about deciding to not do something that one of us is actually tempted to do. And I could be tempted, to feel like that again, so we need to make it clear what I can and can’t do.”

Kaito raised an eyebrow, before huffing again, “First of all, this is not the first time we’ve said no to something one of us could be tempted to do. The whole reason we have boundary talks this excessive is because your local redhead did whatever the hell he wanted for too long and made his long-suffering husband cry and his poor fiance furious with him. You’re not doing anything wrong by wanting things, Shuichi, that doesn’t make you different from us. I’m sure even Kokichi has things he wants that he keeps to himself… maybe.” Kaito said, squinting his eyes suspiciously at his husband, “You are pretty pure… still trying to figure out the ‘slime’ thing though. But! You don’t have to be embarrassed, Shuichi, that’s why we talk about this stuff.”

“...I liked the sense of control I had over that situation. I didn’t feel jealous because I didn’t think it was going to lead to anything that would surprise or upset me.” Shuichi mused, “I really mean it when I say Drake was just a… prop, basically, for it. My focus was entirely on Kaito. I don’t need a third, non-Kokichi person to pursue that feeling. And I think there’s a lot of situations I’d set up that would leave me feeling jealous. Which very much isn’t fair on you and whoever the second person would be, Kaito. So, even if Kokichi hadn’t already shut it down, I think it’d just be too complicated to pursue realistically. We’re just not a group suited for that. Not Kokichi and I, anyway. I’m sure Kaito feels differently.”

“I’m still trying to come to terms with the idea that you two were even considering it.” Kaito mused, wonder in his eye… before his eyebrows raised a bit as he said, sounding astounded, “Wait, are burlesque shows on the table?”

Kokichi nodded a bit. When he checked in, not even really knowing what had happened, he could tell just how…absolutely entranced Shuuichi had been by the situation. So that’s why he had given it some thought, even if he knew he was going to think about it more deeply later. 

Shuuichi had really liked it. Not regarding his partners’ feelings, it was something that had the potential for disaster if any little thing wasn’t quite right. Adding in their feelings…it was just something uncomfortable, and a little hurtful. So it was a temptation that wasn’t a good idea, but feelings that were tempting to chase regardless. 

But…well. Kokichi wasn’t that worried about Shuuichi falling to temptation, after they talked this out. 

Rolling his eyes a little as Kaito mentioned the slime thing, Kokichi sighed. “I’m not sure if it would spark the same feelings at all, but…we could experiment with the three of us. Shuu-chan taking the reins of the situation, telling us what to do. That’s a form I know I’d be super down for trying out. I just…don’t like the idea of there being another person in our relationship, not like that.”

“And yeah, burlesque shows are on the table, for my boundaries, at least,” Kokichi softly smiled at Kaito. “They’re art. And they’re not explicitly a horny thing. They’re sexual in vibe, which is why I’d probably get too flustered to not just, like, sink into a sweater if I ever saw one, but…I mean, plenty of people go to stuff like that and don’t immediately have to crank one out. I’m supportive of sexual expression. Just public horniness makes me uncomfortable.”

“I can never go into public again.” Kaito mused, sounding mildly disappointed as he said, “It’ll be me and Miyako, locked in this room forever… then one day she’ll start going to school and it’ll just be me. Locked in horny jail.”

“Where is Miyako?” Shuichi realized, glancing at the door, “I keep waiting for Maki to knock. Kokichi, could you check on them?”

“Hm? Mmm…” Kokichi sighed his dejection, but nodded, untangling himself from bed. “Yeah, just gimme a second to, like, wipe myself down and put on clothes. We did give her a time, but…I wouldn’t be surprised if Maki-chan’s just waiting for one of us to find them.”

Not the thing anyone would want to stumble into. Kokichi appreciated that. 

Kaito and Shuichi both gave Kokichi equally confused looks as Kokichi started to pull away from them, Kaito finally saying, “Babe. Babe? …you have literal superpowers.”

Kokichi blinked once, twice, before falling back onto the bed with a groan. 

{Everything okay?}

?

Maki blinked sleepily, her hand heavy on Miyako’s lower back as the infant slept on her stomach, Maki sitting beneath a tree on a blanket. She glanced up at the sunlight… oh. Had it been an hour? Hmmmm…. That sounded like a ‘someone else’ problem. She and Miyako were napping. She closed her eyes again. 

Kokichi chuckled and squirmed his way back into the tangle around Kaito and Shuuichi, nuzzling his way back into making Kaito’s shoulder a comfortable pillow. “Maki-chan’s stolen our daughter. They’re never returning. Plenty of cuddle time with no rush for us~”

“Nefarious.” Kaito laughed, wrapping his arm back around Kokichi, “Aw, Miya/Auntie bonding time. That’s nice… guys, I know we’re not adding more people to our relationship. Like…” Kaito frowned, “I know the joke is that I’d be the most okay with it, and maybe in a way that’s true. But… I wouldn’t have been okay with the idea that Shuichi gets to set me up with people he feels comfortable with, while I have too…” 

There was an uncomfortable pause. Kaito’s lips thinning… before he sighed, “I’ve had enough of that in my life, okay? I don’t want to be used like that, not when who I’m attracted to isn’t factored in.”

Shuichi frowned, looking at Kaito, “Kaito, I never meant to–”

“No, no, let me say this, I have to say this, okay?” Kaito said, suddenly looking a little genuinely pissed off. Not at them, specifically, but this clearly being something that had been on his mind. “Just because I’m cool with stuff and I’m horny a lot and I find a lot of people attractive in a general way doesn’t mean I’m, like, some horny machine that’s always ready to go. And it should matter if I want to do it. It should matter if I’d want to say yes to someone and no to someone else. It’s not just you guys, I’m allowed to have standards too. There are people I’d be tempted to sexually add to our relationship, but that number of people is actually really fucking small. Okay? It’s not ‘literally anyone’. O… okay?” Kaito said, slumping back into the headrest a bit, some of the steam leaving him as he said his piece… before adding in, “I don’t even find Drake fucking attractive. If we had ever done something like that, I’d wanna say in who it is. Was. You get what I mean. I have preferences.”

Kokichi frowned. Not reading Kaito’s feelings, but…well, having more than enough anecdotes over the past year to think of quite a few instances of just…Kaito not having a choice. Being put down as a blanket yes, while his partners could be as choosy and selective as they wanted. Kokichi had been angry about that before, and he could be bitter about it now. 

“Okay,” Kokichi said gently, scootching in for a moment to kiss Kaito’s cheek. “Consent is never something we get to assume for each other, and even if you’re usually enthusiastic, that doesn’t change for you, hun. Not for having sex at all, or considering people to add to our relationship. You get just as much say as us, with however selective you want to be.”

For a moment, Kokichi considered asking just who Kaito would actually consider…but since Kokichi had literally just said he didn’t want to consider anyone…getting that answer would probably just bum him out, and make things awkward with that person for him. 

“I love your openness,” Kokichi kissed Kaito’s shoulder, “But openness doesn’t mean everything. I understand that. You have preferences and hard no’s, and as your partner I have to acknowledge and respect that.”

Kaito smiled at the little kiss, giving Kokichi an appreciative look… before notably staring a hole into Shuichi’s forehead. Who stared blankly back at him for a moment.

“...I already apologized for getting upset you didn’t find Drake attractive.” Shuichi pouted.

“Boy, handsome, I could sure fucking hear it again, right now.” Kaito said dryly.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” Shuichi huffed, sounding a little put out… before continuing more sincerely, “I didn’t react well when I heard that. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you or insist you were doing something wrong by not finding him attractive, I was just… surprised. But, in the purely hypothetical scenario that I ever pursued a cucking relationship with you? In that hypothetical, who you’d want to sleep with would be taken as the highest priority. I wouldn’t want to make you sleep with someone you didn’t want too, just to get off to the power-trip of it. That was never an option.”

“Thank you~” Kaito said, grinning at Shuichi, leaning down to place a kiss at his hairline, “That’s all I wanted to hear. In the imaginary cucking scenario, I get a say in who the third, or, fourth? Person is.”

“Agreed.” Shuichi smirked, laying against Kaito some more, relaxing a bit. “...what about asking you to play with certain toys in front of me?”

“Nothing that shocks or zaps me and I get a safe word, and that safe word can be replaced whenever I want with ‘fuck Shuichi I’m tired and don’t feel like doing this anymore’. Or ‘no’. Unless ‘no’ becomes part of the game we’re playing and if that’s the case we talk about it beforehand.” Kaito said simply. 

“Agreed, agreed…” Shuichi paused, thinking about it… “Kokichi? What about that same question to you? I’ll admit, watching you submit doesn’t excite me in the same ways, but it could be fun to play with the toys…? Any hard limits I should know about?”

Shuuichi wasn’t always the easiest to get apologies out of, but it brought a soft smile to Kokichi’s face, hearing him give one without too much cajoling. Easier than the last few serious apologies, he thought. Maybe they really were getting better at the whole communicating thing. 

Snuggling, his arms wrapped around his guys, Kokichi hummed softly as Shuuichi posed the question of toys to him. “I think a safeword, like Kai-chan’s talking about, would be a good call. Though…I think I’d need you to check in on me, and if I can’t talk at all, we’d need to stop. I don’t like temperature play, and…I don’t think I like anything much bigger than Kai-chan in me. It just gets too overwhelming too quickly.”

“I think it’d be fun, though,” he hummed, squeezing Shuuichi’s hand. “Even if we haven’t even done anything with the toys Kai-chan and I got before.”

Shuichi deeply sighed at that, “I wanted too, though. I was daydreaming about it on the way home. Having Kaito push those dildos inside of himself–”

“How in the fuck did I miss this?” Kaito said, looking baffled. “I thought you were just feeling a little overheated!”

“But, that’s partly why the ‘cucking’ thing isn’t really that devastating for me. I was never really seriously considering it, especially since I was already thinking of scenarios that had nothing to do with other people.” Shuichi mused, smirking at Kaito a bit as he said, “I don’t know how you just walk around with thoughts like that in your head, casually. I felt like I was going to burn up into an embarrassed, horny puddle. The worst was how I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I tried. I chewed on ice.”

“Oh, that’s why you were in the kitchen so long.” Kaito mused. 

“Mmhm~” Shuichi hummed, stretching his back a bit and laying against Kaito some more, taking Kokichi’s hand and placing it on Shuichi’s hip, so that he could scoot in tighter and wrap his arm around Kokichi’s hip. Happy in a Kokichi/Kaito/Shuichi cuddle pile, Kaito making an excellent half bed… “Kaito, you said we have boundaries that you do want to do. I’m not trying to suggest I’d reconsider knowing you actually want to do it, but I’ll admit, I didn’t realize that was the case before. I sort of assumed most of our established boundaries were just ‘making sure’ things. What sort of things have we said no too?”

“Oh, all sorts of shit.” Kaito chuckled, closing his eyes, “I’d love to put you in front of a mirror, Shuichi.”

Shuichi blinked, looking genuinely surprised by that. “Really?”

“Oh, sure. I wouldn’t, because I know you hate it. And I’d never do it to Kokichi, because while he’s never made that a boundary, I think I’ve got a good enough read on our Kokichi here to know he’d hate it too.” Kaito said, peeking his eyes open and looking at Kokichi knowingly, “But I like watching myself during sex, and I like having the option to do doggy style and still be able to see the expressions you guys make. If you two wouldn’t hate it as much as I know you would? I’d have bent you over the vanity desk by this point and gone to town.”

“Sheesh.” Shuichi muttered, face burning red, “No.”

“I know.” Kaito said softly, “Purely hypothetically. I wouldn’t in reality. Though, man, I’m not always good about guessing the limits before we come to them. I really, really tried to blow Kokichi in a theater once. Kokichi almost let me, too, which thank god he didn’t. For one, we were interrupted. And two, that would have absolutely been one of those things we’d have ended up talking about in therapy later. I like taking risks in public like that, but for Kokichi? I’m pretty sure that’s a hard no.”

Kokichi snorted a little, amused by how Kaito was still baffled over his obliviousness. Even for someone like him, you really never did know what was going on in someone’s head, and things that felt glaringly obvious probably weren’t as much as you were thinking. If Kaito wasn’t thinking about sexual stuff, wasn’t actively trying to be sexy towards Shuuichi? Then it made sense to Kokichi how he’d missed it.

As Shuuichi moved his hand back to his hip, Kokichi cuddled in closer, happy with the arrangement, even if the stickiness between them was starting to be less sexy or inconsequential, and now a little gross. But not gross enough to pull away. 

“I think you’ve mentioned the mirror before,” Kokichi idly hummed. “But…yeah. It’s a hard no for Shuu-chan, and I think you’re right. I wouldn’t enjoy it.” 

Just like public sex. 

Kokichi sighed, burying his face a little in Kaito’s shoulder. “Absolutely not. I’d never be able to go back, if we did have public sex, and if someone caught us? I’d never leave home again. It’s something to play with in stories, and maybe even in dreams, if we didn’t actually have anyone catch us, but…real life? No way.”

Kaito nodded, unsurprised, “Mmhm. What else…”

“There’s more?” Shuichi wondered.

“You two are way more reserved than I am. I say to the shock of literally no one.” Kaito chuckled, “I’d get high and drunk and have sex. What else… absolutely would wanna bang some beautiful partners after a burlesque show.” Kaito smirked, kissing Kokichi’s head at that, “Experiment with people outside of us… actually, Shuichi, I really don’t believe you’d have ever followed through on the cucking idea anyway. You’re so jealous of us, handsome. A none-sexual bite that neither I nor Drake even realized anything was happening? Sure. Me actually getting aroused at someone else in front of you? You’d murder me. Or them. Either way, there’s no way you’d have gone through with it.”

“I’ve surprised you before.” Shuichi pouted, though… Kaito had a point. Kaito being entirely unaroused during all of that probably hadn’t hurt anything. For what the situation was, the odds of it turning actually sexual had been basically zero. ‘Safe’. 

“You have. You really made me lie down and put candy and syrup all over me. What a weirdo.” Kaito laughed, before wincing, “Ow, don’t hit me, I have no blood. Be nice to me.”

“Don’t tease,” Shuichi grumbled. 

“Oh! I’d have tied you both up by this point too, if I didn’t know you’d hate that too. What else…” Kaito tilted his head, “...I think that’s it. Everything you guys have turned down one way or another that I’d have been into.”

“I’m sorry, Kaito, I know you hate this, but it really does sound like ‘literally anything’.”

Kaito shrugged, “You are not very imaginative.”

There were still a lot of possibilities open to them--even more than most people, considering Kokichi’s gift--but hearing them all listed out, they had crossed off a good handful of things. And…honestly, Kokichi thought that was a good thing. It meant they had either experimented, or had an open conversation about things, and came to an understanding about each other that would keep them safe and their relationship happy. 

Plus, it never really felt like they were scraping for ideas when they even had time for sex. So…it was all good, by Kokichi’s metrics. 

“I don’t think I’d mind being partially tied up,” Kokichi hummed. “I just don’t want to be fully immobile. I think it could be interesting to be tied up in a way that, like, messes with gravity. I think it’d be interesting to mess with wax, too, if it didn’t come bundled with temperature stuff. Maybe that could be a dream experiment.”

“I know fish stuff is out for you, hun,” Kokichi gave Kaito a nod, “But what about just being underwater? I know it’s a little different, since we’d be able to breathe, but…could be worth trying out.”

Kaito raised an eyebrow a little, before pointing out, “I’m not sure if there’s anything too wax besides the temperature stuff, beautiful. Unless you mean, like… decorating someone with wax? Or, encasing someone… is this just another aspect to the slime thing? I’m still trying to figure out what you wanted from the slime thing. I became a slime person and you couldn’t have lost interest faster, did I do it wrong? Is there a right way to be a sexy slime person?”

“I’m trying to figure out where the ‘fish’ comment came from.” Shuichi said, peering at Kaito suspiciously, “...did you try to fuck a fish?”

“I tried to fuck a Kokichi-shaped mermaid.” Kaito grinned. “I also tried to chase him through rooftops and got too nervous about the idea of him slipping and falling. Ruined the vibe for me. Gravity stuff though… I mean, I’m down for experimenting with sex in the water, dream or otherwise, but I feel like what you’re asking for, reality wise, is a swing. A sex swing…” Kaito’s eyes went distant, “...mmm… rocking you back and forth up and down my dick on a sex swing… I could be really into that…”

“I’m going back to the fish thing.”

“There’s really so little to say about it, man, Kokichi put on a fin cause I wanted to be a sailor fucking a mermaid and when it came to the actual fucking part I had no idea where to start.”

“Why did you want to fuck a mermaid?” Shuichi asked, looking genuinely curious.

“It wasn’t, like… specifically a mermaid thing. I just wanted to do something adventurous and fantastical, ya know?” Kaito grinned, “I really just wanted to roleplay out some weird, quirky scene and have fun sex with my husband, okay? Unfortunately, mermaids was a bad choice, chasing Kokichi over rooftops took me out of it because I was too worried about him, and I apparently can’t pull off a sexy slime creature… did it need to be a big glob of slime? Did you want to be submerged in a big bowl of slime? Did you want to, like… be hip deep in some good slime action that fucks you?” Kaito narrowed his eyes, “...do I want to be a big bowl of slime? Where would my eyes be… would I see myself from the perspective of the bit of slime that shoves itself up your ass? Oh fuck that’d be trippy, I don’t know if I’d like that… could enjoy watching it from an outside perspective. I’d be down to watching you get fucked by a bowl of sentient, horny jello.”

“Kaito, do you hear yourself when you talk?”

“Shuichi and I should chase you through the woods Kokichi and whoever catches you gets to fuck you!” Kaito exclaimed, looking excited.

“I’ll just bribe Kokichi with kisses to let me catch him first.”

“Shuichi, that’s no fun.”

“There’s the peeling sensation,” Kokichi shrugged. “And the, like…liquid that turns to solid feeling. Take away the burning part, or even just make it more of a comfortable heat? I dunno. I’ve literally never considered it until just now.”

He’d had fantasies before, sure, but…man, was it hard to really come up with them on the spot, especially while battling Horny Brain. At this point, if something occurred to him, and it wasn’t an immediate turn-off? He’d suggest it, and maybe one day they’d try it out. 

And sometimes he’d discover that it was just better as a half-realized thought. Sighing, Kokichi shook his head a little. “You started, like, melting and stuff. That was more terrifying than anything--I really don’t think the slime stuff is ever gonna be a thing. I don’t think I wanna fuck a bowl of goo either.”

Kokichi turned a smile on Shuuichi. “The actual role-playing part was fun, actually. I got to save Kai-chan from drowning, then he carried me up to his ship. Later we went camping, an’ he was all sweaty and tired out from fishing and setting up camp…” Kokichi’s gaze went a little dreamy, his lips turning up in a smirk. “That part was really fun. And we ate s’mores too.”

Laughing a bit, he squeezed Shuuichi’s hip affectionately. “I dunno. Kai-chan chasing me down, Shuu-chan becoming the ambush master? I’d have to pull out all my sneakiest tricks to evade such fearsome pursuers. Like a sexy Roadrunner cartoon.”

“Heh. I suppose it could be fun setting up a… net trap in a tree or something…” Shuichi snickered, “Kaito only gets to watch, once I’ve caught the ultimate prey… until said prey needles me too much into letting Kaito join in. Little pouter.”

“I’d catch both of you. Use my inner wolf.” Kaito grinned. 

“...tentacles.” Shuichi mused.

Kaito stared at him, and Shuichi shrugged, “Better than ‘fish’. I could have some fun with a bunch of long, strong tentacles.”

“That’s terrifying.” Kaito whispered, something in him genuinely shivering… before he grinned, “I love it. I’m so down for it.”

“You’re very strange.” Shuichi mused, as Kaito excitedly gave him little kisses… before his nose wrinkled. “I just smelled myself. Seriously, we need to clean up before Miyako’s returned to us. I don’t need her new nicknames for us to be Big Stink and Stinkier Stink.”

Kaito sighed, “But I’m so comfy…” Kaito closed his eyes, frowning, “...I think I’m ready to start sleeping between the alarms, at night. I did it when you guys left for the funeral and nothing went immediately wrong, so…”

“I’ve literally been doing that for a month already.”

“And it made me incredibly nervous every time.” Kaito grumbled.

Kokichi giggled, grinning shamelessly. Competition was fun! …but he did want to make sure that they were all having fun and feeling included. What a terrible trait to have, wanting to look out for his loved ones. 

Sighing, Kokichi stretched out before nodding, the prospect of dragging himself out of bed a little easier now than it was earlier. “Shower time. Could we shower together? I don’t think I’m up for another round or anything, but I do want more cuddles. And I’m a great back-washer, if I do say so myself!”

Despite the original plan of the day for them all to mostly do their own thing, Kokichi was quite comfortable planning to just…hang out with his partners for the rest of the day. Maybe not be as attached to the hip as they were now (though he wouldn’t complain) but be in each others’ company. Fawn over Miyako, upon her great return, and give her that vaunted 3x Dad attention. 

Vaunted…but not needed. 

“She’s our little buff baby~” Kokichi sang, pressing a kiss to Kaito’s forehead before he sat up more fully. “And very vocal, if we stretch the definition. And you…are a very light sleeper, when you’re not taking your meds. I think it’d be just fine.”

Kaito sighed, nodding, “...and she’d be able to throw a lot of bells into my head anyway, right?” Kaito said, clearly mostly just talking to himself as he looked away a little nervously, “And I won’t take my sleeping medication either way, not unless someone else is on shift. And like… really, we’ve been really lucky with baby rashes so far, and the odds of a fire–”

Shuichi leaned up and placed a small kiss on Kaito’s lips. Giving him a stern look, before kissing him again. 

“Nothing’s going to happen to Miyako, just because you want to sleep for a few hours between her feedings on your shift.” Shuichi told him sternly, “You have two partners right there with you as an extra set of ears, an alarm I know you’re going to sleep with your head next too, and like Kokichi said… she’s got strong lungs and a stronger body. No one’s in danger just because you’re looking away for a moment. Everyone’s fine.”

Kaito gave Shuichi a tired look, as he gave him another kiss, Kaito passively accepting it… before sighing. Wrapping his arms around both of them and holding them a minute… before grinning weakly, “Yep! Course. Got it… alright, shower? I want a backwash. Maybe you could massage my neck a little, Kokichi, my shoulders are starting to stiffen up a bit. Your Kaito’s been through the ringer today, Shuichi asked a lot of me. Kinky weirdo.”

“It was an aaaaaccciiiideeeent.” Shuichi whined, huffing as he pushed the blanket off of himself, getting up, and heading to the bathroom. 

Kaito watched him go, before looking over at Kokichi, “Damn, that ass though.”

-

Kaito stared at the little list in his hand– toluene, xylene or methylene chloride– and boy those sure did sound like… words? Things you could put some crushed up moonstone in? And then coat a little baby body in? Nn… well, at least this seemed easier to find then a witch to energize the stone more. Hopefully Maki holding the thing so much was enough… ngh no Kaito should try harder this needed to work–

The bell above the door dinged, disrupting Kaito’s thoughts as he glanced up at it instinctively, before heading immediately to the pharmaceutical counter. “Excuse me,” Kaito called out, “Uh… I could use some help.” 

Keigo’s Customer Service Smile relaxed a little, curling in curiosity from the blank idleness of a slow day. True, these days a ‘slow day’ usually meant only two or three people in the pharmacy at any given time, either picking up prescriptions or buying tissues or facial masks, which compared to how Seiko had described her pharmacy before was absolutely bustling, but it still left Keigo with plenty of downtime. And he’d already penned the first draft of an essay due next week, so it was true head empty hours. 

But, still--a customer! And an interesting one at that. 

“Good afternoon, Prince Kaito! It’s nice to see you--what are you looking for today?”

Kaito startled a little, a little surprised to see Keigo, which was silly. In truth, when he had seen him at Lake’s party, Kaito hadn’t realized Keigo was that Keigo until Keigo had mentioned the store. And now that he was seeing him in the store again, Kaito needed to take a second to meld the Lake!Keigo and Store!Keigo in his mind into one person. His compulsive compartmentalizing working against him. Though, now that he was doing so, how he had assumed they were two different people was more and more ridiculous. Now that Kaito was actually looking at him, Keigo  had a very… interesting sense of fashion.

…wait, had Keigo been wearing sunglasses the last time Kaito had saw him too? Kaito couldn’t remember. All he could remember was the smirks and the casual way he leaned and spoke. Easy confidence.

His surprise abated, Kaito grinned, giving him a wave, “Hey! It’s good to see you. Uh, just ‘Kaito’, man, thank you. I need some stuff! But, I only need one of them, and I need one that won’t…” Kaito glanced down at his list as he walked up to the counter, something Nellis had said endlessly bothering him, “...give a baby brain damage. Preferably.”

“Sure,” Keigo gave an easy nod. The guy was a little weird, but he was brothers with Namino and Shigeru, so Keigo had been dealing with weird his whole life. And when Keigo stopped by for their weekly family dinner, his baby brother had been entranced, just in the way he got when he got a new grand plan for an art piece. Normally, Keigo took that as a sign to make sure all their fire safety supplies were in order, but Shigeru and Namino had spent half the dinner talking about their visit to the hot shop with Kaito and his son. 

Keigo didn’t really think much could sway Shigeru from the delicious risk of actual crime, but he had a good hunch his brother was on the cusp of a new hobby. Maybe one with a few more friends. 

So Kaito was a good guy. Definitely one he was comfortable being on a first name basis with. 

Even if he was weird enough to be looking for things that could…potentially give a baby brain damage??? 

“All…right? Mind if I take a look?” Keigo stood up from behind the counter. “It might be something Dr. Kimura needs to give clearance for, if it has the potential to be that volatile.”

Kaito grinned a little sheepishly, handing Keigo the list as he said, “I just want to be super clear that this is meant to go on a baby’s skin for, like, a half hour. I know that’s a little weird sounding, but like… I’d rather you guys know, ya know? So you don’t let me walk out of here with something that’ll hurt the kid. And, uh, it’s going to be mixed with ground stone? Like, a stone that’s been made into a fine powder, if you know if that’s going to have any sort of reaction.”

Kaito looked around the store– it was far more busy these days, then the ghost town that Kaito had consistently seen it be when he and Kokichi had first started coming here– and there was a spark of pride that went through him at that as he saw a group of women looking over some care products, chatting with each other. Good… looking back to Keigo, he grinned a little easier as he asked, “How have you been since remembrance?”

While the entire upper portion of his face was hidden, it was clear that Keigo’s eyebrows had shot up several inches. Put on a baby’s skin and mixed with stone? And these… What in the…?

“I’ve been well, since Remembrance,” Keigo said, not without distraction as he looked over the chemicals used in explosions and paint strippers. “There isn’t school going on right now, of course, but I’ve talked with my counselors about using my experience working here for credit towards my degree, so I’ve still been meeting with them a fair amount. I would ask after you and your family, but…”

Keigo leveled a careful stare at Kaito. “You will need to talk to Seiko about these. Do you have the time?”

Kaito’s grin widened, and he hoped that was enough to counter the way his hands immediately went together, popping at his joints a bit. “Oh, that’s awesome, man! I should chat with you about that, I’ve been meaning to talk to the school about Shuichi’s work history being used as credits… um, but, yeah, that’s a talk for another day. Yeah, of course I want to talk to Seiko. Like I said… trying to be safe about this! Nooooo… brain damage.” Kaito said, his grin straining a little. “That’s the goal.”

“A good goal to have,” Keigo nodded, before turning to go to the back. “Please wait just a moment while I let Dr. Kimura know. I know you’ve been here plenty, but feel free to browse if you wish.”

Though, there really wasn’t much time to do that even if Kaito wanted, as within a minute or two Seiko opened up the door to the back room, a slightly bewildered look in her perpetually tired gaze. “Hello, Kaito. Would you mind c-coming back to speak?”

“Seiko! Dr. Kimura, yep, coming, on my way,” Kaito said, forcing himself to not glance around to gauge if anyone was listening in on him. He wasn’t even sure what kind of rumor a convo like this could possibly become, but, like… he was stressing that he wanted unharmed infants! How bad could that rumor be, if one came about? Prince Kaito Momota, (ex) Second Luminary Son, Luminary of the Stars! Concerned about child safety! In regards to slathering them in dangerous chemicals! 

Totally reasonable.

He did let out a small sigh of relief when the curtain closed behind him, his grin no less nervous, but his shoulders slumping somewhat sheepishly as he saw her concerned, baffled look up close. “... okay, can I say first: you look great! Do something new with your hair? Your curls look like they have even more lift these days! ...also I swear this is necessary and I’m not trying to hurt a baby.”

While the back room was just that--a singular room--there were more than a few partitions. The small one with regular prescriptions behind the check out counter that Keigo was sitting in; a larger one centered around the wall counter, which counted as both Seiko’s lab, and the back stock inventory; and the examination room…which also counted as Seiko’s meeting room, when she needed to talk to her patients. There wasn’t much seating, but still room enough for a light-framed chair next to the medical cot, and a rolling stool, which Seiko took after offering Kaito the chair. 

“Thank you, Kaito…” the doctor sighed, before giving Kaito a shallow nod. “I-I believe you, but… All these chemicals are inc-credibly potent solvents. There are health clauses in leather shops just because of the dangers too much exposure to xylene can cause, for example. And you want to…mix one with a rock, and put it on a baby?”

Seiko let out a beleaguered sigh. “I’m sorry, Kaito… I’m going to need more context. If this is something you’re determined to do…then I’ll advise you as best I can, but if it were solely up to me, I can’t condone this.”

Kaito popped his joints, his brow furrowing. He glanced down at the list of ingredients in Seiko’s hand, before asking carefully, “Context… I mean, regardless of the context, it’s important that this doesn’t hurt the baby in any way. Like, if you tell me right now that it’s going to harm them? Then that matters, regardless of the context, I don’t want to… does it matter that it’s only going onto the skin for thirty minutes? Or, that, we’ll be incredibly careful nothings digested?”

Did it being magic make it less dangerous, somehow??

“And the rock will… well, it’s a moonstone, specifically, ground up, if that helps anything… probably not, I think that still just makes it gem powder. Does it matter what color the gem is? It’s blue, if that nullifies anything…” cooooooonteeeeext….

“...it’s a Momota-Atua ritual.” Kaito said, internally wincing at the lie. Disrespectful to both his family and his religion, and stupid on top of that, but… there wasn’t a better reason he could think of. It’s not like he could suggest the infant was ‘sick’. Or about to be taken over by a hivemind. Continuing softly, dipping his eyes down like he was ashamed, “I’m not supposed to perform it on Miyako because she doesn’t have the Momota name, so no one back home will tell me exactly the mixture I’m supposed to use. But the ritual is important to me. I want Miyako to have the blessing.”

Seiko looked on worriedly, but…well, religious matters were one that made her job difficult, at times. There were rituals that, in all other cases, she would simply recommend that the individual just not do. But she was not a spiritual healer, just a physical one, and failing the emotional understanding…every physician knew that an individual’s health suffered if they were unhappy. Whether by truly feeling like they were spurning something spiritual, or that they would feel othered or ostracized by a community they valued. 

…but Kaito wasn’t talking about taking a risk for himself. He was talking about his daughter. An infant who couldn’t consent. 

Seiko sighed, putting a hand to her head for a moment. “...I still can’t advise it. Exposure to these chemicals, though usually in a gaseous form, since they evaporate so quickly, can cause issues from mild eye and nose irritation to liver and kidney damage. I suppose…”

…well, if it was a regular ritual, it wasn’t like they were trying to burn their children’s skin off. Kaito had many scars, but not ones that would suggest that kind of trauma. So…

“...using a chemical such as toluene would…it would be used as a solvent, most likely for absorption,” Seiko murmured, her eyes narrowing as she thought it through. “If it was a small amount, and you were sure to avoid any scratches or open sores… Kaito, you said you didn’t know the mixture, but…do you know if there are any other factors, besides the solvent and the…moonstone?”

Kaito’s mind raced, trying to remember. Solvent sounded familiar, so he nodded along when Seiko said that, but as far as other ingredients…

“I can find out.” Kaito said, looking determined. As far as he could recall, King Nellis had only mentioned a few chemicals and the moonstone. It really might be the only two ingredients. But Kaito would also rather lose a foot than risk harming Addason on the word of a man who had been shooting out information left and right without seeming to think too hard about the impact of any of it. Nellis might not have given them the full recipe, or, well... Kaito could just not remember something important Nellis had said. He had been kind of all over the place himself, that day.

Either way, it was important to get this right, the first time. 

Clarifying, he continued, “I just know that the moonstone is meant to be absorbed, and those chemicals were used as suggestions for how to get the moonstone into the skin. But I still have a few people I could call who could keep it secret that I’m looking into this. I just wanted to go to you first because…well, I knew you’d give me good advice, for how to do the ritual safely. I didn’t want to just buy it and wing it, ya know?”

Seiko nodded slowly, though she gave Kaito a small smile. “Indeed. Well…when you find out if there’s another ingredient…I would recommend xylene at a ratio of .03 ppm to whatever additional solvent you use. I still wouldn’t necessarily advise it…but that would be my recommendation for the safest method. A-additionally, because the purpose of the ritual is absorption, even after you remove the substance, treat your daughter’s skin for the next hour…and I would recommend longer than that, even, as if she will still quickly absorb anything you put on her. So…be hyperaware of soaps and lotions, or anything you may have on your hands.”

Kaito nodded, “0.03ppm, lots of baby safe soaps and lotions for the next hour or so, find out if there are any other factors and come back to you…”

Kaito deflated a little. Admitting softly, “I wish I could just ask you to help the day of. Everything in me is screaming that having a doctor there would be the best thing… but I can’t. I know I sound crazy, I’m aware, but it’s… my faith, you know? I have to…”

Kaito wanted to take it all back. He wanted to admit it was for Addason and not Miyako, tell Seiko that the ritual was actually really important and not just Kaito chasing stupid symbolism, that it was either this or a massive tattoo or a brain full of supremacists and that Kaito just wanted to keep his kids safe and Addason wasn’t lucky enough to get his own dragon and Kaito just wanted to do this right and he needed help.

…but he couldn’t say any of that, so he continued, “I have to do it by myself, to pass on the blessing. So I need to know how to do it safely myself. But I’ll listen to every piece of advice you have on the matter, and I’ll practice and show you the mixture I’m going to do… I’ll do it right. I swear it.”

Kaito lowered his head to Seiko, “Thank you for your help.”

Seiko sighed softly, but the look she gave Kaito didn’t have any exasperation in it. “I know how mu-much you value your family, Kaito. If this ritual has been done safely before, and it is something that special to you and your daughter…my only hope is to get you two through it to the best of my abilities. I… I’m glad you came to me for advice.”

Other than the newest revision to Kokichi’s medicine--and his regular check ups--Seiko knew she hadn’t exactly been doing much for the royal family as of late. Her work was never-ending, but…less focused on things that would be immediate concerns for them. Combining with their history, Seiko always felt that gnawing pit in her stomach that she was failing them. 

Even with her public opinion bolstered these days…Seiko knew she wasn’t a stellar healer by a lot of metrics. She was too focused on research, too willing to keep her patients’ secrets, too willing to let them wander into danger she could see coming. But she just…couldn’t bear to let them throw themselves into that danger anyway, but without a healer to go to afterwards. To take every risk, rather than just some. 

Maybe she would be a better healer, if she stood firmer, telling people off for the dangerous and risky situations they put themselves in. If she was more liberal calling CPS, or the Guardforce. 

…but she couldn’t help feeling that it wouldn’t end up with those people saved. It would just give them fewer allies in the world. 

She sighed again, before offering Kaito a tired smile. “How is Miyako doing, otherwise? Kokichi mentioned recently he was g-going back to work soon…is she handling that alright?”

Kaito gave Seiko a warm look, before chuckling. A small puff of air as he rubbed the back of his neck a bit, “Thankfully I don’t think she’s actually noticed yet. Kokichi’s only gone for a few hours during the day, and with the three of us, Miya’s used to the trio of dads heading in and out. Honestly, it’s only going to be an issue the first time she wants him there, and he doesn’t just show up. Our Miyako does not have a lot of patience or understanding to be kept waiting. She will… yeah, she’s gonna scream. But, ya know, he’s always coming back by the afternoon, evening at the very worst,” Kaito hoped. “So so long as dad can keep her happy and busy before then, hopefully she won’t notice that daddy won’t come hold her for specific hours every day for a while.”

“Beyond that? Miyako’s a happy, healthy little girl! With strong baby kicks and eating at all her mealtimes, even if I do have to kinda nag her into taking the bottle sometimes cause she’d rather me play with her then actually eat and settle down for her next nap, and her sleep schedule has been really consistent, thank god, and her shits are becoming so stinky.” Kaito grinned, “Really just terrible. But all the baby books says that means everything’s on course with her! Healthy, stinky, strong baby!”

Kaito looked genuinely relaxed now, just grinning as he talked about his favorite topic. He lit up, when he got a chance to talk about his kids. Miyako was his greatest pride, and Timothy his most devoted mission, with Addason being a responsibility Kaito had been genuinely thrilled to be allowed to take on. He loved them so much. He just wanted to be a good dad so badly. 

Seiko laughed softly, warmed by the grand enthusiasm Kaito had for his daughter. Kokichi talked about her too, during his check-ups, as any new parent would, so Seiko wasn’t totally out of the loop with her and the rest of the royal family…but she still enjoyed hearing about them. 

“Wonderful… I’m glad to hear it,” Seiko hummed. “And Timothy? I imagine he and his friends are making the most of the rest of summer…though he was quite the serious sort, when I met him. I wouldn’t be surprised if it hasn’t quite hit him yet.”

“...” Kaito blinked, before his eyes widened further, “Oh fuck what time is it I have to go pick them up for mini golf!”

Kaito looked at his watch before sighing in relief, rubbing his temple, “Timothy reminded me two days ago that I’m supposed to take him and the girls minigolfing, and I swear, I almost forgot again. Thank god I still have an hour to pull it together. Timothy’s doing good! I mean,” Kaito grinned wainly, looking a little tired, “It’s complicated, with a ten year old. Especially an adopted ten year old. Especially with an ex-soldier/indentured whose life was already so complicated before I randomly made it more complicated by adopting him. Well, not entirely randomly, but…”

Kaito shrugged, “Timothy’s strong as all hell. He’s really keeping it together, considering everything. He hangs out with his friends and he bothers members of the staff he’s gotten attached too and he takes care of Chase and he’s respectful to Maki and he’s sweet to Miyako… but I constantly need to remind myself that I need to keep an eye on Tim’s lows, ya know? I want Timothy to have the best childhood I can give him, but I feel like I’m sometimes ignoring the nine years of difficulties he’s already had…” Kaito suddenly chuckled, giving Seiko a sheepish look, “Sorry, that’s probably not what you meant by asking. It was just on my mind.”

Seiko startled along with Kaito, before relaxing with a breath, managing a small laugh. The ever-dedicated father… In more than just scheduling. Mini-golf, huh? That was certainly a fun way to spend one of the dwindling days of summer. 

(She could barely remember the last time she, Ruruka, and Sonosuke had gone. Probably their early teens, before everything… Seiko wondered if it was the same with Timothy and his friends, that despite all their different personalities, they were all far too competitive to not turn the “friendly game” into a metaphorical bloodbath.)

“I admittedly don’t know him well, but he’s a good kid…as are you a good father,” Seiko nodded. “And it’s alright. Small talk has a tendency to grow into something larger bet-tween us.”

“Well…even with an hour, I wouldn’t want to keep you,” Seiko paused for a moment, “...unless there’s something I can do for you? I know you picked up your prescriptions recently, so…”

Kaito’s eyes flicked away in instinct when she mentioned his prescriptions– he didn’t like mentioning those in public, even if this wasn’t really that– but he nodded, giving her a grin, “No, that was everything. I’ll come back and see you again before I start setting up for the ritual, bring you the rest of the information you wanted… oh! I will probably grab some sunscreen before I head out. Kimiko’s got the fairest skin on the planet, I swear, she’s paper-white, and she never remembers to bring sunscreen to anything. Thank you again for your time, Seiko. I’ll see you again soon.”

Giving her another respectful nod, Kaito headed out.

-

Shuichi stared at the notes of his journal. For once not using his shorthand, writing out his talking points for Drake as he walked. Partly because he was trying to get the wording right, so that there would be no confusion or hurt feelings.

Drake, you and I are very close. Because of the trust I have in you, sometimes I find myself taking risks with our relationship that in any other circumstance I never dare would, because you feel so reliable to me. However, these risks do not

Shuichi hesitated, tapping his pen against his cheek as he mindlessly headed up the stairs in Drake’s apartment building. These risks do not…

However, these risks do not But, sometimes the risks are too great, and while I know I’ve been giving you some incredibly odd, perhaps even hurtful mixed signals, I just want us to be clear that the sexual situation I put you in was both unintential, undesired and will never happen again. I hope we can move past this and continue to have a healthy and enjoyable friendship.

Reading over the text again, Shuichi nodded to himself, certain he had it. Closing the journal with a small thud he pocketed it away and knocked confidently on Drake’s door. 

A muffled, “One moment!” sounded from within the apartment, and indeed, it was only a moment before the door opened…only to bonk right into Drake’s foot, the vampire wincing before shuffling back and offering his guest a smile. “H-hey, Shuuichi… Welcome in.”

“So, uh, the place isn’t too far away, and my pick-up isn’t for a bit, so I was…” Drake took a breath, giving his friend an awkward smile. “...hoping we could talk?”

With time and a clearer mind, Drake had thought over what had happened on Monday, and…well, even in his most spiral-prone moments, he didn’t think this was going to be a friendship-ender between them. At this point, he and Shuuichi were just…too deeply involved with each other not to have a bond strong enough. So this wasn’t going to be the most nerve-wracking conversation. 

…but there were some things Drake did want to speak his mind on. 

“Could I get you a drink, or some snacks…?”

Shuichi nodded determinedly. Opened his mouth both to say yes to talking before they went to get the blood packs, yes to eating some snacks, and most importantly, being sure to get out his carefully prepared words…

And then he threw up. Just a little bit. Like, really it was more just an acidic burp that went out poorly, drooling on himself a little, but his composure broke entirely as he quickly stammered out, “I, ah, so I didn’t… the thing… so the thing with the thing was??” And realizing he literally couldn’t find the words, his head entirely blank, he said, “Water???”

Drake’s eyes widened, his expression growing concerned before he nodded, turning towards the kitchen. “Water.” 

…this wasn’t Shuuichi going to cut things off with him. Drake had seen how easily (and cuttingly) Shuuichi could shut people down before. While it would be harder with a friend…of all signs of that struggle, Drake didn’t think it would be such potent nervousness. 

…unless he thought Drake would eat him, if he was upset. But…no. No way. 

Shaking his head a little at himself, Drake offered up the glass and sat on his couch, bidding Shuuichi to do the same. And for a moment he thought, gathering his words before he looked up searchingly at his friend. 

“...I’m not mad at you. You know that, right?”

Shuichi headed to the couch, feeling that acidic feeling bubble in his stomach at the sight of it, but sitting down and taking deep breaths as he waited for the water. Giving Drake a grateful look, he took the water and sipped at it a bit, before gulping it down. Wiping the drool off his chin as he felt a rush of embarrassment run through him. So much for his speech…

“I know.” Shuichi sighed, giving Drake a tired look, “That’s partly why I feel so awful. I’ve been so nervous to talk to you for the last few days…this interaction has just been building and building in my mind. I’m so embarrassed at how everything happened, and I put you in such an uncomfortable situation… and the more I reflect on it, the more I feel like I should have seen signs at how it would affect me. I won’t say I saw it coming and ignored it, but I will say I’ve been a little… flippant. In how I’ve handled having your trust… I didn’t think you’d be mad at me, but I have to imagine you’re disappointed, by this point.”

Something in Drake’s shoulders relaxed as Shuuichi spoke. It wasn’t a tension he had noticed in himself, but…hearing Shuuichi acknowledge the moments of weirdness in their bond, and apologize for it… Well, it was good to hear. A surprise both in circumstance and occasion that made sense to be relieved by. 

Disappointment, though… Drake smiled softly at Shuuichi. 

“I get the feeling neither of us nailed how this was gonna go, huh?” the vampire laughed, before offering a bashful look. “If you’ll let me get a little poetic? Shuuichi…I’ve been alive a long time. Any well-traveled person can tell you the great lengths of evil and goodness people are capable of…but a long-lived one can tell you that the full spectrum of minor acts are within each person as well. People can be, yeah, flippant or thoughtless or self-absorbed or petty…and those things don’t necessarily have to lead to great acts of harm. They can just…be a little shitty.”

“And those same people, within the same hour even, can be attentive and thoughtful and selfless and kind, and those acts don’t necessarily turn someone’s life around, or result in widespread happiness…but they can make someone smile.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Drake sighed softly. “I guess there are people, who have each shitty moment stick with them, and each new one piles onto disappointment until the scale breaks--that mindset is just being a person too. But…most of the people I meet, I know I’m not going to know forever. And the ones who are…I’d rather not start grudges with,” he laughed. “To me…yeah, people are going to be shitty sometimes. But if the times they make me smile are true, and after they’re shitty, they come back to apologize? Then…I dunno. I feel like they’re worth holding on to.”

Blushing faintly, Drake gave Shuuichi a lop-sided smile. “...I guess that’s a long way to say, I’m not disappointed in you, Shuuichi. It was an accident. Thanks for apologizing.”

Shuichi listened quietly till the end, before laughing softly, “You’re right, that was very poetic…”

He tilted his head a little. His dark blue hair shifting across his forehead a little, as he sipped at his water, looking at Drake with something mildly curious in his gaze. His nervousness– and the nausea with it– easing as he realized Drake really was adjusting well to what Shuichi had been doing. ‘Adjusting?’ That was the wrong word… Drake was okay. Shuichi hadn’t ruined the relationship. He hadn’t ruined the friendship. “I do forget how old you are. You don’t act it. Except sometimes you seem unbearably tired, and sometimes you seem a little oddly cocky, and it’s like there’s little peeks inside of you, in those moments. If I may get poetic.”

“...you remind me a bit of Kokichi,” Shuichi decided. Sighing as he leaned back into the couch, resting his glass on his thigh as he adjusted the brim of his hat, “A little. Really on the most superficial level, just in the sense that you sometimes seem older than you look… I suppose you both are. It must be so odd, to live among everyone who’s so much less experienced, than you. I feel a little childish around you, sometimes, and that was before I knew the great secret.”

Shuichi smiled softly at that, “I think you bring out my inner dumbass, a little. My friend Himiko does too. It can be… a little emotionally exhausting, being the ‘calm’ one between a wild prince, a cutesy heir and a furious killer. I feel like I’m often trying desperately to be the ‘adult’, which is only worse by how often I genuinely fail in my attempts. Not quite independent and self-reliant, but not a child either and not expected to act as such… you and Himiko bring out a side of me that gets to be…” Shuichi smiled, shrugging slightly, “A little immature. Stupid. I feel playful around you, that I don’t get the luxury of among my own family. But I took that playfulness too far… thank you for your forgiveness.”

“...all of that resulted in my partners having the ‘we don’t want other people in our relationship’ talk with me.” Shuichi said grimly, “Me. I’m the partner that sparked that talk. Ridiculous. How far I’ve fallen.” 

Drake raised his eyebrow a bit at Shuuichi’s comparison of him to Kokichi. At first, well…for all of the years he had lived (which would seem storied to Shuuichi, but really weren’t all that much, in the grand scheme) Drake had never been in a position even remotely similar to Kokichi’s. He wasn’t a prince and never would be, of course, but he hadn’t been in command of any soldiers during the war, and, hell, he’d never even tried to be on any student council. A leadership position, especially one like being the heir of Dicea…it would age anyone, spiritually, if not quite literally. 

…but Shuuichi was kind of talking like he meant literally. Maybe that was a question for the philosophers, but Drake didn’t think sharing in others’ experiences as an Empath really meant you had lived for all that time. 

Maybe it was just a comparison that got lost. 

“It might not seem so, especially with all your responsibilities, but…you’re really young, Shuuichi. Maybe I should be a little worried about inspiring risky ideas, but,” Drake shrugged with a small laugh. “I dunno. I’m happy we can be silly together.”

With all the mistakes that came with it. 

Sighing softly, Drake gave Shuuichi an awkward smile. “Well, now you’ve all had an important conversation gotten out of the way? Though…well, I don’t want to harp on it… I’m not mad, and I’m not disappointed, and I accept your apology. But I just want to say…I’m not comfortable being your proxy with Kaito, Shuuichi.” His smile faded a bit. “He’s a good guy, and all, and I’m happy to get to know him better, since he’s a special person to you…but I don’t have any feelings for him, or for you or Kokichi, for that matter, and I don’t want to be a part of your relationship. I just…want to be your friend. Yeah?”

Shuichi peered at Drake at that. His expression at first a little annoyed… then a little more frustrated, squinting at Drake.

“....that’s too accurate.” Shuichi realized, taking off his hat and idly blowing some air into his face as he gave Drake a frustrated glare, “Proxy. Proxy… oh noooo.” 

Shuichi thumped his hat over his face. Glaring into the fabric of the hat, just so frustrated… before he sighed. Putting his hat back on as he sat up, giving Drake an appropriately chastised look as he said, “That is what I’ve been doing. Of course you’re not a part of the relationship, Drake, and I never had any intentions of pushing you into that role, but… intentions mean very little in the face of what I’ve actually been doing. I apologize for that too, Drake, that I even put you in the position to make your feelings on that clear. What a mess…”

Sighing, Shuichi picked up his glass of water again, sipping at it with a renewed sense of pose and posture. Sitting up straight, his expression cooling. Looking more like how he might have regularly held himself back in Luminary, when his professionalism was demanded of him at all times. “If it makes you feel less alone in the awkwardness, Kaito practically yelled at me for the same thing. Well, how he worded it was that he wanted a choice in the matter, if I was going to do things like that. Please don’t take it as an insult, but Kaito is pretty steadfast in his lack of attraction for you, and was fairly insulted that his preferences wouldn’t be considered in my actions. I thought he was being a bit silly and overdramatic when he said it, but for you to say the same thing upon the very next time I saw you… both of you having to stress to me that you don’t want this?” Shuichi sighed. “Perhaps Kaito’s anger was more relevant than I gave it credit for…”

Dr. Mariah kept telling him that. Shuichi was only just starting to entertain the idea that she might be saying it to him, specifically, for a reason. 

“...I didn’t get to date him.” Shuichi said suddenly. That rigid posture deflating as he looked to Drake with what could only be called a truly, deeply bratty pout. Gripping the glass and looking frustrated as he said, “I didn’t get to date anyone! It all happened… so fast for me. I spent my whole life batting Kaito off with a stick until he finally gave up and treated me like his ‘bestest bro’. The closest thing I’ve had to a relationship outside of him uselessly pining for me is me uselessly pining for a woman who looked at me as an amusement at best and a pawn at worst, and the woman who everyone insists on referring to me as my ‘sister’. Which is very confusing! It’s all been… so confusing.” Shuichi frowned, shoulders falling, “That pollen jumpstarted puberty for me and everything happened all at once. I didn’t get to explore my options or figure out what sexuality meant to me… everything just happened to me. And…”

Shuichi sighed in frustration. Wiping the hair from his forehead as he said, “...I’ve been trying to find workarounds, I think. Find ways to make my identity and my sexuality and all of that, my relationships, mine again. I did a beautiful engagement request, and honestly that’s the most sure of myself I’ve felt since I’ve gotten to Dicea. I love my partners, I don’t regret being with them, but… I do regret how everything happened and… I think, with you? I saw a chance to, at least with Kaito, do it how I would have done it. If I had been given a chance… I’d have taken him on dates. I’d have been playful and risky and we would have been young idiots in love and…”

Shuichi’s eyes started to burn. Wet tears falling as his face scrunched painfully, his fair skin reddening painfully as he clutched at the glass in his hands, “...I’m sorry I used you as a proxy, Drake. I just… regret never getting the chance…”

“No offense on my end,” Drake assured with a breathy laugh. “That’s something Kaito and I have actually talked about. I’m not into him, he’s not into me--we’re clear on that. He did say I looked exotic, though, which I’m not really sure how to take…”

But Drake treated that more as something like a joke, while Shuuichi’s feelings right now…

Oh Shuuichi. 

Drake expression melted into a sad sort of concern, and he scooted closer on the couch, putting a hand on Shuuichi’s shoulder. Hearing his regrets and…overwhelmed scrambling. 

…

Quiet for a moment, Drake spoke quietly. “...your situation isn’t the same. You’re going through something unique to you, and you deserve the proper respect that entails. I’m not here to tell you that your regret and pain isn’t as bad as you feel it, or that it’s mundane…okay?”

“...I had a couple friends, back in the day,” Drake started, his tone gentle and not without a bit of sad nostalgia. “It wasn’t as bad as even a few decades prior, but when I was your age, a little younger…it wasn’t as accepted for…well, any queer people, or even anyone trying to act outside of extremely ridgid gender roles to…exist, really. One of my friends made a sort of…gallows humor joke, once. That when you’re queer, ages 0-12 are childhood…or redacted due to trauma, ages 13-22 are The Void, and 22-35 was adolescence. Implying that society was so cruel in every way, that all the experiences that seemed ubiquitous, not just in novels, but that you’d see in peers were things that just…weren’t feasible until adulthood. And then, when everyone would expect you to be settled, you were just starting to try out things. Be young and dumb and figure out who you were, and who you wanted, and how.”

“Your situation isn’t the same,” Drake repeated, now rubbing the back of Shuuichi’s shoulder gently, “But…if I could offer anything from my friends’ experiences? It’s not too late for you. You can still take Kaito, and Kokichi too, on dates, and be playful and risky and…do everything you regret not having the chance to before. And you can do it while having the responsibilities of an adult. You’re so young still…you’re not out of time.”

Drake gave Shuuichi’s shoulder a squeeze before smiling softly again. “But…also, thank you for apologizing. I know you didn’t mean to, and I forgive you. Just…please don’t set up any more dates between me and your fiance.”

Shuichi laughed wetly at that, glancing up from where the brim of his hat was tilted, red, golden, gray eyes peeking through his hair… before groaning. Putting his hands over his face and resting his elbows on his legs as he muttered, “Ridiculous. What on earth was I doing…”

Sighing, rubbing his hands over his face– red and splotchy from crying. Being as fair-skinned as Shuichi was did him no favors when he cried– he rested his chin in his hands, peering tiredly up at Drake. “...are you asexual, Drake?” he asked. Before rolling his eyes a little, “I’m going to be very cross if the answer is ‘yes’. We would have had so much in common, a year ago. Now I’m the weird sexual friend in your life, making it your problem. I’m the Kaito of the friend group… oh no.”

And Shuichi laughed at that. Shaking his head at himself, before looking more cheerfully at Drake, “Thank you for understanding… if you decided you quietly just wanted to stop being friends with me and get my craziness out of your life, I couldn’t even judge you for it.”

Drake let out an awkward laugh, running a hand through the end of his ponytail. “Well… I’m probably somewhere on that spectrum. I’ve dated before, when I was younger, but…I dunno. It just feels strange now, and I don’t really feel all that disappointed that that’s the case.”

“But, no, are you kidding me?” he laughed more openly, nudging Shuuichi’s shoulder. “You pulling me along for the ride is the most excitement I’ve gotten in ages. There’s no way I’m missing out. Plus, I’ve got a very vaunted position as potential future deputy to vie for. I’m not gonna give up on any leg up friendship might win me.”

Shuichi giggled slightly at that… and then looked embarrassed at the giggle. Clearing his throat as he looked regretfully at his empty glass of water. “I need to go get myself a tissue and more water and a time machine that will let me go back to five minutes before I started sobbing. Ugh, we have to go out soon. Into the world. I can’t look like this.” Shuichi said, gesturing vaguely to his still red and splotchy face.

Getting up, taking his glass with him, Shuichi headed back to the kitchen… before laughing a little to himself. He had seriously tried to make a proxy for his own date life between Drake and… Kaito.

Like Kaito wouldn’t just let Shuichi take him on dates and act raunchy and stupid with him.

For being the ‘smart’ one? Shuichi felt pretty dumb, right about then.

-

Drake hadn’t really been sure how long their talk would take, so he had invited Shuuichi over quite a while ahead of his pick-up time. That turned out to be something of a boon, since it gave Shuuichi’s skin time to settle before they went out. Even after what had happened, Drake really doubted that Maki would be staking out his apartment out of worry for Shuuichi without just coming along as a guest, but…man, would it be terrifying for her to see Shuuichi walking out, having obviously been crying. Shuuichi had said he wasn’t sure Maki knew how to stab his kind of problem, but Drake didn’t doubt she could get creative enough to find out. 

The shop they were going to was sort of near the medical district, nearby the pond that Kokichi loved to skate at, and was now busy with summer enjoyers mitigating the mild heat. The door was located down an alley, almost disturbingly stereotypically discreet, but the shop itself was well-lit and, if not as airy as many Dicean shops, then just as welcoming in every other way. 

While Drake would normally hold open the door for Shuuichi, he made sure to enter first, giving a little wave to the person at the front desk. “Hello! Um, I’m here for a pick-up, under ‘Soga’? And this is my guest--he knows.”

There…wasn’t really any hiding Shuuichi was a human, here.

“Hmmmm.” Said the man behind the counter, shifting his long blond hair over his shoulder. The hum both an acknowledgment and a small, guttural sound. Maybe Shuichi was dealing with some subconscious bias, knowing what the other man was… but he felt his arm-hair stand on end a little as the man looked up, eyes so lightly gold that Shuichi briefly thought they were white, intense and searching… before the man said, in an accent Shuichi didn’t recognize, “Ah, I see. Forgive me for presuming, but you are the fiance of our next Ouma, aren’t you?”

Shuichi nodded hesitantly, and entirely from nerves, found himself relying on old Luminary instincts as he bowed slightly, folding his hands over his waist as he kept his eyes a little low, “Yes, that’s correct. My name is Shuichi Saihara. It’s nice to meet you…”

“Alucard.” The man said, bowing his head back respectfully– someone familiar with Luminary customs, then– as he shuffled some paperwork. Peering at Shuichi with slight curiosity, his every movement slightly dignified. There was a pause in the conversation, Alucard considering his next words and taking his time with it… before he mused, “The future husband of our future leader knows of our kind and dares enter one of our stores anyway… what interesting times.”

And then, as if he was done with that line of thought, Alucards eyes shot to Drake, before looking down at his paperwork. Shuffling through them… before whistling low. “We’ve done you a disservice, Soga. You’ve been waiting on this shipment too long. Our apologies, I’ll go retrieve it at once.”

The man stood– he had looked tall sitting behind the counter and standing up straight confirmed to Shuichi that he was a massive (monster) person– and marking something on his paper, he looked to Drake… before saying, “It’s good to see you are looking healthy regardless. One moment, please.”

Shuichi let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when the man left to some backroom. “Am I bigoted or is he incredibly intimidating.” Shuichi whispered to Drake, sweating slightly.

Ever so slightly, Drake stood in front of Shuuichi--just their shoulders overlapping. Just enough to plainly say that Shuuichi--this human--was under his protection. Maybe in some communities there was the danger, but in Usott, it would simply be suicide for a vampire to bring a human into their places without having full confidence that the human would not betray them. 

And, well, it wasn’t as if Drake was a stranger himself. He had been in the Dicean vampire community for decades, and had been in Usott in particular, and coming to this center enough for people to know him--after he himself being introduced and vouched for by Grinnell. 

This was a low-stakes trip, all things considered. He probably wouldn’t have been so eager to invite Shuuichi otherwise. 

Letting out a soft, awkward laugh, Drake waved his hand dismissively. “No worries, these things happen. I’m just glad the delay wasn’t worse, you know? Thanks, Mr. Tepes.”

Almost at the same time as Shuuichi, Drake let out a similarly nervous breath, grinning anxiously at his friend. “No, Alucard is just intense--it’s not just you. He really is a nice guy, under it all--he’s just kinda…”

Drake eyed the backroom. “...dramatic.”

Shuichi laughed softly, shaking his head a bit, “I’m familiar with the type. If his accent wasn’t so foriegn, I’d have assumed he was Luminary just by the bow of his head. I wonder if he ever spent any time there.”

Looking around the lobby, Shuichi a little surprised by now… normal it all was. “I wonder if Luminary had little shops like this. I know Luminary pushed all of its magical communities out when the demon scares started, and that’s why you left, but… I know that’s not how people work. There’s always someone who decides that moving is worse than looking at constant mortal danger, who sticks around to tough it out… there must be vampires who stayed in Luminary. I wonder how they manage.”

“It’s not a stretch,” Drake shrugged. “It still is in a lot of places in the world, but on our continent before the demon scares…and even more when the last Flora king was in power, vampires and other immortals used to travel around a lot. For all the reasons anyone might travel, but…it tends to be easier starting a new life somewhere it’d be nearly impossible for someone that knew you to recognize you. I know a lot of the vampires around here have spent time all over the world.”

“...I’m afraid I don’t know about anyone still in Luminary, though.” Drake sighed softly, looking at some of the hanging artwork in the lobby. “My sire was the one with most of the connections, when I lived there, and when we left, most people we knew did too, if they hadn’t left already. I’m sure you’re right, but…well, if they’ve reached out to the community here, I haven’t heard of it.”

Maybe it was Drake tempting fate too much, talking about being recognized, but at that moment the door opened behind them. A familiar woman with wavy pink hair tied up high, sunglasses perched in her hair with a floral halter top looking beach-ready for summer strode in, a chipper, “Helloooo!” on her lips before she stopped dead. 

Elodie Tenchi’s cheerful smile froze on her face, as she stood right in front of Shuuichi Saihara. 

“...................” Shuichi blinked, like maybe his vision was clouding and once it cleared she’d be a different pink haired doctor, and when he cleared his vision he realized Dr. Tenchi was still Dr. Tenchi, but that his vision really had been fuzzing because he hadn’t been blinking enough. He glanced at Drake, before looking to Dr. Tenchi again. 

“....................” Blink, dammit. “Good afternoon, Dr. Tenchi.” Shuichi finally said, forcing himself to blink again. “...........lovely day. Have you been well?”

Similarly, Elodie’s eyes flicked to Drake again, taking in his gentle nod before all at once she relaxed, letting out a bright laugh. “Aw, hello Shuuichi! It’s good to see you! You’re looking wonderful! I hope little Miyako is too.”

“Oh, I’ve been just great--doing a bit of grocery shopping today. Seems like you are too,” she winked at Drake. “Drakon! I didn’t know you two were friends!”

Still a little tense--he’d been expecting to protect Shuuichi from any possible other patrons, but still--Drake let out a little understanding noise, his eyes widening as he looked at Shuuichi as if he’d just realized someone. “Oh, you were pregnant!”

…then, realizing what he’d said, Drake flushed weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah, that is… Hi, Elodie. Uh…yeah, Shuuichi and I were in some of the same classes at uni. I guess…you two do know each other, huh.”

Chuckling, Elodie came over and gave Shuuichi a playful look before she leaned against the front desk. “Not the usual way I meet patients outside the office, but hey! A nice surprise.”

Shuichi laughed a little weakly at that, “Yep. I was pregnant. Have the baby as proof and everything. Miyako is well, Dr. Tenchi. Four months now and growing bigger every day.” Shuichi clammed up a bit, honestly no idea what to say. This was uncomfortable for multiple reasons. Shuichi was always a little uncomfortable being around someone who was there for his lowest points, and while Dr. Tenchi had been incredibly kind and professional throughout that whole ordeal, Shuichi early in his pregnancy had been at a low. Seeing her brought back those difficult memories.

….and also apparently his obstetrician was a vampire so that was pretty wild. 

“...um, just so we’re clear, I consider the secrets of the people I see here privileged things. Meaning I have no intentions of sharing what I learn here with anyone.” Shuichi said, “Just in case there was any concerns.”

“Oh, that’s just wonderful,” Elodie beamed. …if Shuuichi, apparently, knew about vampires, then…did he find out about his daughter? She hoped so, if only for the fact that if you knew about magic at all, finding out your family members were part of the community could be a real gut punch! Even so, it wasn’t her place to ask, especially in public. “You know, I’ve heard the talk of the town about what a little pumpkin she is. Oh! And congratulations on the engagement too!”

As Shuuichi assured that he was going to keep mum about his little field trip, Elodie just grinned at him, though there was something a little wary about it. “I sure hope that would be the case!”

Clearing his throat, Drake nodded emphatically. “Shuuichi’s an ally! In everything here, I’m vouching for him!”

For a moment, Elodie ran her gaze over the younger vampire, bud-green eyes staring intently at him. Their community wasn’t hostile to humans, by any stretch of the imagination…but a vow like that carried weight. Shuuichi Saihara had gotten himself quite the escort into their spaces. 

“I’m glad to hear it.”

Shuichi looked back and forth between Drake and Elodie. Aware a conversation was being held above his head, and Shuichi could probably guess what about… before saying hesitantly, “Want to see a picture?”

Heading over to Elodie, Shuichi pulled a folded piece of paper from the back of his journal and, without hearing Elodie say anything one way or another, did what all new parents did: tried to break the tension with baby pictures. “Kokichi draws her relentlessly, and I liked this one so I kept it. I think he drew these maybe two weeks ago? This is her laying in the sun, she really likes to lay in the sun. And this is her smiling, probably Kaito doing something, he’s really good at making her laugh,” Shuichi pointed to another part of the paper, where the small serie of drawings were scattered, “And this is her at tummy time–”

Alucard came back with a large, non-discrepant styrofoam box. Placing it down on the counter, he said to Drake, “Soga. Your months worth, plus a week extra as apology for the inconvenience. On the house. As always, double check the contents to make certain there’s no blood type you’re adverse too. You prefer B-negative though, don’t you? Should be plenty of it in there.”

He looked up, spotting Elodie, and said, “Ah, Tenchi. Here for yourself or someone else?”

Elodie broke from the serious moment to coo over the drawings, aw-ing like any sensible person when faced with a very adorable baby. As an OB, Elodie knew it was more than just unprofessional to feel any sort of possession over the parents and children she helped, but even medical detachment didn’t render her so heartless to not feel any sort of connection. She hadn’t seen Shuuichi or Miyako since their last post-op check-ups, and it was wonderful to see them healthy, thriving, and happy. 

Drake had seen Shuuichi’s daughter definitely since then, but he still peered over, smiling at the drawings.

Before jumping slightly as Alucard returned, just as silent until he set down the box as their species reputation would have you think. “O-oh! Oh…geez, that’s really kind of you, Mr. Tepes. I really appreciate it, thank you.”

As Drake looked through the contents of the box--only opening it a sliver, even inside the shop--Elodie beamed at the blond vampire. “Hey, Adri!! Aw, look at ya, I swear, you get taller every time we meet. How’re Trevor and Sypha doing? They should be back in town, yeah? I bet soooomeone’s happy about that.”

The doctor laughed, giving the imposing man almost a foot taller than her a teasing wink, before finally getting to his question. “I’m here for myself, kiddo. Should be a half-shipment this time.”

Alucard’s lips twitched up, and Shuichi didn’t have to know him well to recognize the look of someone whose loved ones were coming home, as the massive man nodded. “A few days now. Alright, half a shipment. Soga, if there’s any issues just wait for me here. Otherwise, you have a good day. You as well, Prince Shuichi.”

Shuichi notably paled at that, before quickly shaking his head, “U-uh, no, no. That’s not… thank you, but I’m not married yet, and… I’d appreciate no one using that title.”

Alucard shrugged a bit at that, before giving Shuichi a nod. Heading back to the backroom.

Shuichi got the door for Drake, when he was ready to leave, and let out a little sigh when they were out in the alley. “Goodness, I’d pay gold to never hear anyone call me that again. ‘Prince’ Shuichi… I don’t even know if that’s accurate, in Dicea. Perhaps he was trying to be accommodating for Luminary mentality. Not even ‘Prince-consort’, Prince Shuichi… it feels too fake.” Shuichi groaned, shaking his head, “‘Lord’, ‘Prince’. People keep trying to give me titles. It’s nerve-wracking… does…”

Shuichi glanced at the styrofoam box in Drake’s hands, “...does it matter? What type? Does… does it have flavors?”

For his friends’ sake, Drake didn’t laugh at the obvious repulsion in Shuuichi’s stammering, but he couldn’t quite hide a smile as he finished up looking through the box. “I think it would be accurate for Dicea, actually. It’s harder to find a pattern, since not a lot of people have titles like that these days, but I think they follow the same rules Luminary used to. You marry someone with a title? That’s your title now. You’re marrying two princes, even if Kaito’s means something a little different, so in the eyes of the Dicean people? You’re a prince now, Shuuichi. Sorry.”

Satisfied with the assortment in the box--Drake wasn’t too picky, but he was always happy to see an assortment lacking AB+--Drake gave a wave to Elodie before starting to head out, giving Shuuichi a small grin. “Not how you’re probably thinking. Things like blood sugar or…other stuff that affects the blood… Like, I would say blood alcohol content, but they don’t let people under the influence donate blood, so… But stuff like that? That affects the taste.”

Shrugging a little, he continued. “No, the type is more… People think it has to do with what our blood type used to be, so it’s like a compatibility thing. Not as severe reactions as you would have, but…some just aren’t as filling, or someone would get tired more quickly with a type that doesn’t suit them. And the severity of that depends on the individual.”

“Some people do insist they taste different, though, so some folks are just picky.”

“Huh.” Shuichi mused. His mind focusing on the ‘blood alcohol content’ comment, as they headed out. He knew he was limited in what he could actually say, now that they were out in the open, but he did ask, “Do you get drunk, Drake? Thinking back, I can’t recall ever seeing you drink.”

Those two observations weren’t necessarily connected. Drake could probably drink. Shuichi was just curious if vampire could get drunk.

“It takes a lot,” Drake laughed softly, adjusting his grip on the box. “I don’t drink that often, but… Well, I told Kaito once--I tend to become the designated babysitter for people when parties happen, and people tend to think a good ‘thanks’ gift when they’re out at Tealeaf is a bottle of wine.”

Drake paused before giving Shuuichi a guilty look. “...kinda have to drink that stuff if I don’t re-gift it. I tried cooking with it once and I almost burnt my apartment down.”

Shuichi’s eyes lit up with recognition, “Kokichi and I are supposed to visit Tealeafs, actually. It’s one of the places we’ve discussed for a date. It’s been a minute since we’ve discussed it… wait, no.” Shuichi paused, thinking back, “Tealeaf is where Kaito wanted to go. Kokichi wanted to go to the graveyard… Clay! That was the vineyard Kokichi wanted to try with me.”

“Kaito would never go because…” Shuichi paused, frowning a bit… before he gave Drake a small look, “You know, this might be important for you to know, Drake. If only because out of everyone we know, you have one of the higher odds of being around if it becomes an actual issue. Kaito had a severe phobia of… well, generally ghosts, but really it’s more anything that could be associated with the malicious undead. I know you enjoy those stories,” Shuichi said, just in case someone was listening, “And I don’t want to discourage you talking about them around me. But Kaito? If he’s sufficiently frightened, his reactions to those types of tales can be pretty extreme. The last time I saw him confronted by it, he threw a torch into drywood, trying to ‘fight’ them.”

“Actually, on that note… again, just because if it’s going to happen, it’s a higher chance around you? Have you heard about Kokichi’s issue with blood…? Because that’s also pretty serious. Kaito’s phobia causes him to act out, but Kokichi’s could give him a heart attack.”

Drake raised an eyebrow before he laughed, understanding warming his voice. “Alright, I was going to comment… Kaito was talking about wanting to scope out Tealeaf’s before your kids would be tempted to go, but it doesn’t really strike me as the kind of place you and Kokichi would be into. Clay’s on the other hand? I can see that.”

And conversely, it seemed, Kaito wouldn’t be caught dead--heh. 

Nodding with a serious frown, Drake let out a small hum. “That’s…good to know. Oh…I see where you were coming from, then, when we were talking about that story before.” Drake’s frown deepened in concern. “...I really am sorry about putting you on the spot, before. Especially if it’s going to be a difficult conversation when you talk more in depth… I thought you would’ve told him already. I’m sorry.”

“...and yeah, I know about Kokichi,” Drake sighed softly. It wasn’t like he was blind to the person in front of him, but…well, it was hard to ignore Kokichi’s heart when they were face to face. Honestly, if he was freshly turned, Drake might even mistake Kokichi for a freshly-fed vampire, with how weak his blood smelled sometimes. It was hard not to feel sympathy. 

“He partly knew. He knows I’m fascinated with these sorts of stories and that I’ve been doing a lot of reading on them…I just hadn’t told him yet how much a part of my life I was ready to make it. I knew he’d be worried…” Shuichi smiled somewhat sheepishly, “In a way, I think hearing it in front of you probably helped it from becoming a bigger thing than it was. Kaito can get a little emotionally stuck, on people ‘hiding’ things from him. I wasn’t hiding it, but I hadn’t told him yet either… you being there forced him to keep his temper, I believe. He doesn’t like to fight in front of other people. The idea of us potentially working together someday also probably eased some of his nerves. He’s a big believer in recruiting experts.”

Shuichi’s shoulders lowered a bit, saying somewhat somberly, “Kokichi I have full faith in supporting me in my new goals, but truthfully… I do worry, about how my choices could affect him. He doesn’t like to be surprised, and being confronted with alarming, horrifying things… it literally hurts him. I’ll never forget watching him collapse from stress, when I was being particularly cruel to him while on the pollen. Sharing with him things about Luminary he wasn’t ready to hear… he’s been doing so much better, for a long time now. But I do find myself afraid of restarting those days. I worry those stories I want to look into will upset him as much as hearing about my home did.”

Drake let out another small sigh, looking over at his friend for a moment. “...I am glad that you guys didn’t have a fight over it, but…maybe I’m just assuming, but I think Kaito would’ve preferred to hear about it from you first. We knew you had been searching for…inspiration, about what sort of stories you wanted to write--that wasn’t a secret. Even if what you chose isn’t a genre he likes that much…”

Drake nervously chewed on his lip. “...please don’t take this the wrong way, but…I don’t think hiding behind people is a very good method of having difficult conversations with your fiance.” It wasn’t quite the same as the proxy issue…but it was in the same realm. And Drake could remember Shuuichi mentioning that he was using Miyako as a shield at times, to avoid talking with Kaito. 

It was something he would have to sort out with his family, but…well, if Shuuichi was going to use him, then Drake felt like he could bring it up, at least. 

He shot Shuuichi another look. “...him collapsing from stress honestly sounds terrifying, but…I also don’t think it’s fair to base…basically any of your behavior against what you did on pollen. And…you could always ask Kokichi if he’s in a good mindset to hear about that kind of stuff, you know? It’d probably be a good gauge, instead of bringing that stuff up out of the blue.”

Shuichi sighed, though there was something exasperated in it. “I’ll… bring it all up in therapy. We’re having another session soon, and unfortunately, I have a feeling my heads on the chopping block, as far as ‘group focus’ goes… damn.” Shuichi cursed lightly, “You have no idea what a minefield being the focus of group therapy can be. I’ve watched Kokichi and Maki deconstructed and laid bare for an hour at a time, and Kaito once literally shut down because too many sessions focused on him at a time. It’s very intimidating. I’m not looking forward to the focus I’m undoubtedly about to get.”

Shuichi glanced over at Drake, watching as he effortlessly held the styrofoam box as they walked, “...do you? Have… dense muscles? You don’t look strong. No offense.”

Drake just nodded, not having intended to push the issue. Sometimes being a friend meant calling your buddy out on their bullshit…but it wasn’t his job to “fix” Shuuichi. He just didn’t want to sit on his observations. “Sheesh, you’re making me feel very relieved I’m not in group counseling,” Drake chuckled. “Though it would probably be good for me. I hope your next session goes alright…and everything I said withstanding, I’m absolutely willing to be an excuse if you want some time away from your family afterward.”

Glancing to the box in his arms, Drake offered his friend a lopsided smile. “None taken. I’ve seen myself in a mirror. I am pretty dense. Not something I go around flaunting, really, but…it is helpful in times like this. Don’t have to panic about leaving my groceries downstairs to do multiple trips up to my apartment.”

Shuichi laughed lightly at that, before saying earnestly, “I do want to hang out with you again soon. But let’s do something fun. Between our weird lunch the other day and grocery shopping today, we haven’t really had a chance to relax. Perhaps I can reach out to Nadya or Himiko, see if either of them are up to doing something? I don’t know if you had much of a chance to speak with Himiko at the party, but she actually is a lot of fun. What could we do… oh! Nadya told me she visited a glass museum lately. She made it sound beautiful, I’ve been wanting to visit. Would you be up to exploring that more thoroughly with me? Nadya probably won’t want to go again, ut Himiko would let herself be dragged through it, anyway. Or…”

Shuichi shrugged. Open to ideas.

Drake looked over with a warm, fond smile. They had had more than a few tense hangouts lately. A lot of the time, it was nice just getting together for coffee and chatting, but…hey, it could be fun doing something more involved with other friends. 

“Himiko and I did talk for a bit, yeah…before that administrator gave her a pot brownie and she disappeared somewhere,” Drake chuckled. “She’s cool. I know that shop she works at’s whole thing is magic, but it was interesting to hear how deep it goes. Makes me feel like I’m missing out, mostly reading law books these days.”

Something fun to do together, though…

“The glass museum is really cool, I’d love to go through it with you guys,” Drake encouraged, “But…hm… Oh, if your partners wouldn’t mind you being out later, we could check out the night market on a weekend? I think they’re only doing it for a few more weeks, since Harvest preparations start pretty early here.”

He gave a sheepish shrug, unhindered by the box in his arms. “It’s exciting, but you can also just…sit and soak in the vibes too. So…good for different energy levels, I think. And we might find something interesting.”

“Do you think your teacher might want to come too? Or is that a little too familiar for you guys?”

Shuichi’s interest was obvious on his face, before he ever said yes as he nodded. “Night market? If you don’t mind Maki coming with us, I think it’ll be fine. Not that they can stop me, really, but I know it’d put Kaito’s mind at ease… and honestly Maki would probably just like to be invited. She likes to keep an eye on us for protection, but we also just… hang out. Too much, honestly.” Shuichi laughed lightly. 

“And we’re not formally in a teacher/student relationship. I’ll invite him, though his sister might come along as well. She’s a friendly sort though, so it should be alright. Hah,” Shuichi gave Drake a sheepish look, “I do mean to just spend time with you. It won’t bother you to have a large group like that? Assuming everyone actually wants to go?”

Drake laughed softly, giving Shuuichi a warm look. “That’s all fine with me, man. I’m sure that we’d be able to chat among everyone. I do tend to drift towards the edges during big gatherings, but I like parties. It’s just…nice seeing people having a good time, you know? And I do want to get to know your friends more--if you chose ‘em, I’m sure they’re neat people. Nadya sure is, and while I don’t know Himiko or Maki as well, they seem so from the bit we’ve been together.”

“I’m glad you like the idea… Let me know when you have a night that’s good for you, and we can start planning for it. Hmmm… I wonder if you’d like grilled dango. It’s really weird, from an outside view, but I was hooked before I really knew it.”

“Never heard of it. You’ll have to introduce me to it.” Shuichi said happily, the two heading up Drake’s apartment stairs. 

-

“How’s your parfait?” Kaito asked Miss Crystal, glancing at her on the bench as he noticed she was picking at it, “Not a fan after all?”

Miss Crystal sighed dramatically, her shoulders slumping, “I miss the burgers.”

“You’re the one who said your waistline couldn’t survive weekly visits to the diners.” Kaito pointed out, licking at his spoon, “Come on, custard and fruit is great. This is a luxury dish at home, ya know.”

“Luminary does seem to love its fruit.” Miss Crystal mused, giving the parfait another disappointed look before looking back to Kaito, the lake bustling with activity but their little space in the world still feeling private as she said, “Nevermind that. Back to your parents.”

Kaito sighed, “Yeah, yeah…I guess… I mean, since telling Maki about…”

“The abuse?”

Kaito winced, lowering his voice a little as he said, “No one made me assault my brother…”

“No one made you sleep with your husband on your wedding night either, but still the very least you could call what happened to you was sexual abuse through manipulation.” Miss Crystal said plainly, giving Kaito a stern look as he suddenly looked around, wary, “No one is suddenly listening to us talk because I used the ‘a’ word, Kaito. We’re still just two people talking to each other, it’s okay… Kaito, your childhood tutor and an authority figure in your life had a historical pattern of manipulating you into sexual experiences he set up. You’re not at fault that he succeeded.”

“Twice is hardly a pattern…”

“For something like that? Twice is enough.” Miss Crystal said, sighing as she saw Kaito wince again, “You’re not at fault for the abuse in your life, Kaito. And you’re not a ‘bad’ son for resenting that your parents allowed that abuse to take place.”

“‘Allowed’ is a heavy word… they didn’t know… I told them it wasn’t happening, I knew what I was doing when I told them Tengan’s version of events was true. It’s not like I was stupid, I understood what was happening.”

“You were a child. So, in fact, was your brother.” Miss Crystal said, “When one of their children insists abuse is happening and the other one is clearly terrified, your parents had an obligation to take those accusations seriously, regardless of what the frightened one said. Your resentment isn’t unfounded. You are not responsible for your parents, for whatever their reasons were, taking the easy answer and being unwilling to look into the truth of it. You’re not responsible for what happened. You had the least amount of control of the situation out of everyone involved.”

“...they’re already dead.” Kaito said softly, “I just don’t understand what more I could want, by this point. I don’t know what to do with these feelings. No ones ever going to apologize to me… I feel like I just have to sit in it. This just…awful tension in me, all the time. I just wish it all hadn’t happened… it was easier, when I couldn’t think about it.”

“The ‘conditioning’.” Miss Crystal clarified.

Kaito nodded, “I knew everything that had happened had been bad. I knew it didn’t make me feel good and I even understood I had been taken advantage of. I just… I just thought it was all for some greater purpose, ya know? It made me feel better about it all, thinking it hadn’t been pointless. That my suffering hadn’t been pointless. The conditioning made it impossible for me to see the holes in that idea. Anything that benefited my brother in some way was worth it, no matter the cost… but now all of that isn’t true. And none of it benefited my brother anyway. And it turns out I just… I was just hurt because it was fun?” Kaito closed his eyes, the pain clear through his face, “I just wish that wasn’t true.”

“Unfortunately, half of coming to grips with our past is recognizing that terrible things can be true, and the accepting of those terrible truths is still our only way forward.”

“I know.” Kaito sighed, rubbing his forehead, “I know. I just want to be angry. Because when I’m not angry–”

“You’re unbearably sad?”

“Yeah.” Kaito chuckled, spinning his spoon in his cup, “Being sad sucks… being angry feels good.”

“Working your way through both feelings are necessary though. And you can’t retreat back to anger when sadness becomes too difficult to explore. Your anger can’t last. Not even you have a limitless amount of adrenaline and energy.” Miss Crystal smiled lightly as Kaito gave a little barking laugh at that, “You have to let yourself calm and be sad, when the excitement of the anger finally abates. It’s only facing the sadness head on that true acceptance can happen.”

“Yeah…” Kaito sighed, watching the light shimmer off the lake. “Yeah.”

-

“Hello, Dr. Mariah!” Kokichi chirped, beaming at her as their group filtered out onto the roof, heading for their respective spots, sans Kaito who, as usual, made a detour to say hello to the koi. It had been, thankfully, an easy morning, and Kokichi was riding the high of that hope that it would be an easy afternoon too. Maybe not in therapy, but at least when they returned home. 

“I hope you had a good Remembrance.” Dr. Mariah very much was a Dicean citizen, but…Kokichi had no idea if the holiday actually had any meaning for her. So, at the very least, he hoped she had had a good day. 

Settling in his seat…well, they hadn’t really discussed what they wanted to talk about first, on the way there, so…maybe he could broach something a little easier, just to get things rolling. “I started going back to work, on Monday. So far we’ve been lucky,” he chuckled, “Miyako doesn’t seem to really notice that it’s any different from me just being out normally. I guess it really isn’t, but any day with minimal screaming sessions I think we’re counting as a win.”

Dr. Mariah gave the group a welcoming nod, putting down her lemonade– the offered refreshments was lemonade and water, that day, though thankfully it was one of the cooler days of summer they had had for a few weeks now– as she said, “It was lovely. I don’t cook very often, but I find holidays like Remembrance to be a good excuse to flex my limited baking skills and bring gifts to my friends and neighbors. As of now, none of them have died of food poisoning, which makes this a very successful year indeed.”

“Aw, we did something similar. Made snickerdoodles.” Kaito said, running his fingers lightly over the koi fish, before asking, “Do they need feeding? Can I feed them?”

“They’ve been fed already, Kaito.” Dr. Mariah said patiently, watching with some amusement as Kaito gave a little theatrical sigh of disappointment at that, before turning her focus back to Kokichi, “Ah, I suppose congratulations are in order, then. While I’m certainly glad to hear Miyako has been minimally affected by the change, how is everyone else feeling? It’s a small change, I know, but it’s a change that affects everyone here.”

Maki stretched her arms over her head, grasping the top of her egg and stretching her back out as she said, “Not so much for me. Unless you want to call the inevitable future babysitting Kaito’s going to be begging me for when Shuichi goes back to school too a change.”

“I’m not going to need that much help, Maki.” Kaito sighed, heading over to the sink to wash his hands, “Or at least it won’t be unexpected help. I’m gonna figure out how to balance Miyako and Tim time, and kid and ‘everything else’ time. Just need to get used to the new normal… and I’m excited for Kokichi to be going back to work! I’ve already noticed a difference when he comes back from the day. Kokichi comes back to the room with this, like…”

Kaito paused, thinking about how to describe it. ‘Satisfied’ wasn’t right… “‘Spent’ look to him. Like he did what he was going to do and now he’s done and he’s happy about that. It’s nice to see him really engaged in stuff, ya know?”

“I’ve mostly just been watching him go back to work knowing I’m going to be in his shoes in a month.” Shuichi sighed, “Semester starts back up next month, in the beginning of fall. Now that I know what my focus is, I’ve finally bit the blade and gone to sign up for more classes. We’re all about to be busy again soon… well, more busy than just Miyako’s kept us.”

Dr. Mariah nodded at that, before looking to Kokichi, “Kokichi? How has going back to work been for you?”

Kokichi’s return to work, and Shuuichi’s to school, were actually things they had talked about as a family. Maybe not…super duper in-depth, but they’d talked about it a few times, made plans about what to do, aired feelings. Nothing about the past week had come as a surprise…at least where it concerned Kokichi’s return to work. The other surprises they could get to later. 

Chuckling bashfully at Kaito’s observation, Kokichi let out a happy little hum. “It’s been great! Had, just, far too many meetings that I’m happy to be done with now, but…it’s good, you know?” he smiled softly. “I like my work, I like being able to help people in this way. I know I was driving you guys up the wall, sometimes, with how antsy I was getting.”

“And, thankfully, I have a lot of flexibility in my work. Most days it’s an option for me to bring Miya to the office.” Kokichi looked over at Kaito, giving him a soft smile. “It’s not something we’ve done yet, and I do appreciate how supportive all you guys have been, but…really. My mornings aren’t completely struck off.”

Sitting back a little, Kokichi took a breath. “I’ve been thinking about getting a calendar for our room, so as soon as I get, like, appointments, or court requests, I can write them in so we won’t be caught off guard by my scheduling.”

“It’s baffling you guys don’t have that already.” Maki pointed out.

Shuichi, surprisingly, stuck his tongue out at her, “Don’t pretend like you knew we should have been doing that all along. I’ve never seen you use a calendar.”

“What would I have done, written ‘Target name, hit location, time’ on my bedroom wall?” Maki said, raising an eyebrow at him. “I kept a school schedule planner.”

Kaito smirked, sitting down in his egg and gently starting to rock it back and forth with his foot, “I remember that thing.  You’d write these long, angry notes about the teachers and lessons and our classmates in them. Sometimes I worried your planner was, like, a personal hitlist.”

“Who said it wasn’t?” Maki grumbled, clearly irritated at the reminder of her school days, “Half of them were asking for it.”

“Imagine picking on and making a personal enemy out of the resident protected royal assassin protege… because she could be abrasive sometimes?” Kaito said, shaking his head in wonder a little, “Gotta love the confidence of high school students. Wow.”

“So, we’re all in a good place when it comes to the schedule change, then?” Dr. Mariah confirmed, seeing the group all confirm in their own ways, before opening up her journal, “Alright. Now, I didn’t assign homework last session because you all were struggling with grief. It was a painful note to leave you all on, but unfortunately, confronting grief is one of those things where once you’ve started, most of the rest of the process is just letting the grieving process happen. How is everyone now, in regards to the realities of your shared afterlives?”

Kaito frowned, rubbing the back of his neck… before smiling wanly, “It’s still shitty, but… I mean, I can’t speak for anyone else. But for me, it’s just getting used to that shitty feeling, when I think about it. I mean…” Kaito gave Kokichi a soft look, “Everything isn’t entirely out of our control. It doesn’t feel like it is, anyway. And while that probably means we all have difficult conversations in our future, someday… at least we’re not helpless. We’re lucky for that, I think.”

Well…he did keep a personal planner already. They were really helpful! Even if Kokichi hadn’t been writing in it very much the last few months. Some things had been important, like the funeral, and Shuuichi’s outings with friends, and Kaito’s therapy appointments. All their appointments, really. But otherwise…it felt pointless to fill the majority of each day with a big, ‘MIYA!!’. 

After the first two weeks, anyway. 

Stifling a snicker at the purpose Maki used her planner for, Kokichi took a breath, centering himself for the “real” discussion at hand. It had been so difficult before, but he’d had time to think, and a few important discussions under his belt, and…it felt easier to get into now.

Kokichi returned his husband’s soft look, giving him a smile. That was…a lot coming from Kaito. “Sometimes…it feels really unfair, or shitty just in general, or…like a helpless feeling does come. But…yeah. We’re not actually helpless. And…it’s getting easier to focus on the things we do have a say in, and that helps. Death is something everyone has to accept, in a lot of different meanings, but…no one is alone in navigating that acceptance, you know? Dr. Egami and I were talking about that a lot, my last session.”

“Like I said when we were talking about it… it was all sort of a whirlwind. I thought thinking about the afterlife was a little pointless, a few months ago, and now I’ve had the rug pulled out from me a few times about it.” Shuichi sighed,  rubbing his temple a little, “It was much easier when it was all vague. You cope with the ‘whatever happens, happens’ philosophy… and I suppose that’s still, at least for me, the best way to cope. It just… was nice.” Shuichi admitted, shrugging a little, “That brief period of time when it really felt like we could have it all. It was disappointing to be brought back to reality, to say the least.”

“You know how I feel about it.” Maki told Dr. Mariah with a bored expression.

Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, “Perhaps, for the benefit of the group…”

“Screw the gods. Screw the divine plan. Screw helplessness.” Maki said, closing her eyes. Clearly ready to state this as a fact, as she said, “If the gods are basically just ‘people’ on a grand scale? Then we’re not helpless. If something truly is intolerable for us, then I’ll fix it.”

Shuichi sighed, “Maki…”

Kaito, in turn, stared at her… before nodding lightly. “I believe you. You and Kokichi… it feels impossible, for me, which kinda sucks to admit. But I’m kinda starting to accept that, like… I’m not someone who changes my fate. Not really. But!” Kaito grinned, looking to the others, “I’ve surrounded myself with powerful, capable people who I really believe could. If, in the end, it’s a good idea. And by the time these decisions actually come up, we all might have changed our minds. We might decide we agree with the plans put in place for us… but if you guys decided we don’t? Then, yeah. I believe you could change our fates.”

“That said… it’s not urgent. And it’s not all on you to decide to do it by yourselves, or to even succeed by yourselves. Maki, Kokichi… just because you guys really could change our fates, doesn’t mean you will or even should. I don’t want either of you to go through life thinking we expect anything like that…”

Maki raised an eyebrow, “What about Shuichi?”

Kaito frowned, “As in changing our fates or expecting you guys too?”

“Changing our fates.”

“....” Kaito glanced at Shuichi, who pouted a little. Kaito grinned sheepishly, “Our Shuichi is capable of great things, but–”

“I know, I know. I’m not a little demi-god.” Shuichi said, rolling his eyes with a huff. “Yet.”

“There’s still time,” Kokichi teased…though considering their track-record, it wasn’t entirely light-hearted. Kokichi really could do with no more big surprises, but if someone developed divine or divine adjacent abilities just through curiosity and trial and error… Shuuichi would probably be his first bet. 

Kokichi had promised Kaito that they would get their forever. That he would fight gods and fate and everything, so he wasn’t taken too soon. It was a vow he was serious about, that meant everything to him…but it was also a vow he had made knowing that there wasn’t really…any preparation he could make for it. It wasn’t a vow made of the result of thousands, millions of small decisions and plans. 

He intended to see it through, if he had to, but…it did help hearing then and now that Kaito wasn’t staking everything on it. 

Regardless of what happened…Kokichi still planned on making the most out of every day they had together. 

Taking a breath, Kokichi nodded. “Hopefully, physical death for all of us is a long, long time off, so…I suppose it feels like the time for reckoning is far off. Not something that…I’d just shove in the back of my head and try not to think about but…the choices I’m making today and tomorrow feel more important. At least most of the time.”

Dr. Mariah nodded. That had still been true the last few sessions, as well. The group wasn’t struggling with the reality that they were going to die, not really. They were struggling with the reality that they’d be separated, someday. Well, Kaito might be struggling more specifically with the ‘death’ thing, as Dr. Mariah suspected a little bit that Kaito had taken the ‘you only die when you’re ready’ knowledge as ‘Kaito, specifically, wasn’t going to die’... but that was only because Kaito couldn’t imagine a version of himself that would be ready. Not yet. 

Time would change that. It wasn’t really a delusion so much as it was just an early step in Kaito’s comprehension of what eternity would really mean. While Dr. Mariah had no personal experience with the process, she knew there was a thousand reasons, that people finally decided to let go in the afterlife. Some people liked the idea of parts of themselves going on to live again. Others felt satisfied they had done all they wanted to do. Some people just got bored. Others… if you wait long enough, eventually you see everyone you care about off to their own entropies. And once everyone was gone, what was the point of staying yourself?

Time would give Kaito a reason to let go. He just had too many reasons to stay, for now.

No, Dr. Mariah wasn’t concerned about their grips on mortality. It was just their comprehension and coping with the knowledge that life would take them in different directions, someday. By godly design. And all of them agreeing to view that as a ‘problem to be dealt with as it comes’ with just a hint of denial… coping didn’t always mean facing bitter truths and not flinching. Coping very often just meant ‘not self-destructing’. And this wasn’t inherently self-destructive, so long as none of them put any unreasonable expectations on each other to literally fight gods.

Just the belief that they could. No expectations they would.

So she said, “Good. It does seem like you all are in a better place about it. Though, just to confirm, is there anything anyone wants to talk about, in regards to that? And if not, we should open the floor to any feelings of crisis, before moving on… anything weighing on anyone's mind?”

No one said anything. But Dr. Mariah thought it was telling, when Maki and Kaito both glanced at Shuichi.

Kokichi looked around the group before his gaze landed on Shuuichi. He, personally, wasn’t feeling like his comings-to-grips with his reincarnation was in crisis-mode, at least for the time being--it could just be in a lull, but…well, they’d deal with it if it became difficult again--so…open floor. He didn’t think there were any crises, but…

“Well… To me, at least, it feels like something that we were able to discuss in full, and come to a consensus,” Kokichi gently broached. “So maybe it isn’t worth getting into again, really. We…had a re-visit to some of our expectations about boundaries, in Kai-chan, Shuu-chan, and my relationship, the other day.”

“And…we didn’t really talk about it as a group, but, you might’ve caught, Shuu-chan’s chosen a new career path!” Kokichi cheered. “So that was really exciting to talk about.”

Maki looked unsurprised, and Kaito looked just shy of uncomfortable as Shuichi nodded, “I’ve decided I want to be a supernatural detective.”

“How thoroughly ridiculous.” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, “Like something out of a children's mystery novel.”

“Hah.” Shuichi said dryly, adjusting his hat a little as he gave her a dry look, “It just… it’s appealing to me. I’ve never liked some of the practical aspects of detective work. Finding the truth about criminals can sometimes mean I send people to jail, or worse, who I’ve come to know in a way that makes me wish I didn’t have to tell on them. Other times, it can feel like I exhaust myself learning terrible things about humanity, all to only pass on a fraction of the things I learned to innocent people who I still couldn’t truly help anyway… and sometimes it all felt pointless. Like I was a useful tool for other people to absorb knowledge through, but that what they used that knowledge for wasn’t worth the time and effort I put into investigating. That I’ve put into learning how to investigate…”

“The thing I can help the supernatural community with? They don’t feel like that.” Shuichi said softly… before amending, “I think. It doesn’t sound like it, anyway. It feels like I can do real, actual good with my abilities. That I’d be more than a convenience of those who can afford me or know those who already own me, but an actual necessity to those who would need me. To be…”

Kaito grinned, filling in, “Heroic!”

Shuichi flushed at that, dodging under the brim of his hat. But not correcting Kaito. Simply murmuring, “I suppose that’s a way to summarize it…”

“That sounds quite fascinating, and as a member of the supernatural community, I can tell you it is quite useful. A man of your training and experience really could do a lot of good for people with not a lot of other options.” Dr. Mariah nodded, before tilting her head, “Why is this a potential crisis, or a boundary talk?”

“Oh, it’s not.” Kaito said, rubbing the back of his neck, “it’s only… I just… I’m going to worry about him. A lot… it’s scary, what he wants to take on. And I don’t feel like I’d be in a position to help him. It sucks knowing my families going to be doing scary, difficult things I can’t help with… we finally get to keep Maki, and now Shuichi’s getting all set up to go…” Kaito said, a distant look settling on his face. “I just want to keep them all.”

There was a pause… before Kaito shook his head. “But that’s not a crisis. At least, not right now. It’s just me worrying about my family, and I’m already doing therapy and medications and all sorts of stuff trying to cope with that.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes, “Me wanting to protect them and dealing with the reality that there’s not much I can do is a thing, and I’m already working on it.”

Dr. Mariah glanced at Maki and Kokichi, and not tasting anything urgent from them, nodded. “We’ll come back to that later, then, discuss it more fully when there’s not other things on our dockets. Boundaries, then?”

There was a pregnant pause from the group…

“...I made a poor judgment call.” Shuichi finally said, “And I put Kaito in a sexual situation that I didn’t realize was going to be a sexual sitaution with someone else… except, the main problem is, is that…” Shuichi frowned, looking uncomfortable, “...it’s not inarguable that a part of me may have known, and was in enough denial to allow it to happen. In which case I manipulated my fiance and my friend to perform for me, which is… bad.”

Dr. Mariah frowned.

“Shuichi’s friend had an accident recently, and Shuichi when they went to visit as Kaito to help feed him to make it easier on the guys injury.” Maki explained, “It wasn’t strictly necessary, but Shuichi was trying to help and asked Kaito to actually physically do the act of it. But, turns out, watching Kaito obediently feed someone else on Shuichi’s request apparently gets Shuichi engines going like nothing else, and so Shuichi got horny and made it weird for everyone.”

“Maki.” Shuichi groaned. Sinking into his chair and lowering his hat, beat red.

“...” Dr. Mariah tilted her head a bit, “Without explaining what was false, how much of that was true?”

“That really is basically what happened.” Kaito said, turning a little red himself. “I fed a guy in front of Shuichi and Shuichi got a… lot out of it.”

Kokichi smiled encouragingly as Shuuichi explained his decision, beaming bright as Kaito nailed it on the head. Shuuichi was choosing a path that wouldn’t make him a tool anymore--it would make him a hero. 

…of course he was worried about it, though. Not quite to the feeling of wanting to ‘keep’ Shuuichi, but…even with his limited understanding, Kokichi knew that there was a lot of danger in the magical side of the world. And Shuuichi’s path would take him right into the heart of that. 

However…that wasn’t any different from being a human-centric detective. The human-focused world was dangerous too, and Kokichi knew that there was a lot of it even now that he didn’t know. The only difference was…now Shuuichi wouldn’t have the wool pulled over his eyes, if there really was something magical going on, and if he was going to delve into magic at all (which Kokichi knew he would no matter what) at least having people know what he was doing was safer than doing it in secret. 

It terrified Kokichi to think of Shuuichi getting into another ‘use pollen on himself’ situation. But making it a business, and consulting with other professionals, and, hell, if Drake actually did end up becoming his partner, someone to watch his back…that wasn’t the same situation as secretive self-experimentation. 

And Kokichi liked seeing the light and passion in Shuuichi’s eyes much more than his fears could nestle in his heart. 

He could do without the reason for the other passion, though. 

Flushing lightly, Kokichi nodded, backing up that…all the important parts of that description were true. “...I really don’t believe that things like ‘subconscious knowledge’ can be…actionably blamed,” Kokichi said softly, frowning. “You said you didn’t purposely set that situation up for your own pleasure. For me…that’s the long and short of it. It wasn’t intentional. You’ve apologized and promised not to do it again, and we talked about our expectations and boundaries, so…I don’t believe there’s anything left you can be blamed for, Shuu-chan.”

“Maybe not ‘blamed’ but…” Shuichi frowned, adjusting the brim of his hat a bit, before taking it off and waving some air at himself. “...the thing is, the more I think about all of that. The more I realize this is just one more thing in a greater pattern. One we actually have all talked about before.”

Kaito nodded, saying with one hundred percent confidence this was where Shuichi was going with that, “You’re still scared of me.”

Shuichi blinked, giving Kaito a startled look. “I… no. I meant in the sense that I keep using Drake as a proxy for myself, when it comes to you, Kaito.”

Kaito frowned at that, brow furrowing in confusion, “...we’ve talked about that?”

“Yes? When I set you up on that play-date with Drake.” Shuichi reminded him.

Kaito shook his head, “I remember you saying you were scared of my reactions to things, cause I’m, like, overly emotional and you didn’t know what to do with that. And things kinda got confused and we never really resolved that, and, well… I didn’t want to force you to talk about it. I’ve just been waiting for you to bring it up again.”

Shuichi’s lips thinned a little, getting a little frustrated, “I’m not afraid of you, I just…there’s a lot of complicated feelings wrapped up in all of that. It’s not just fear.”

“Look, forgive me if that was the thing that stood out, okay? No one wants to be the guy your partners scared to be honest with. But, well…” Kaito shrugged, a dry, visibly annoyed look on his face as he said, “Here I am, definitely that guy. It’s not even new.”

Shuichi huffed, rubbing his temple as he said, “I feel like there’s no way to approach this without hurting your feelings in some way…”

Kaito pressed his hands together, twisting his joints a little, “...no, you can. I promise, I’m not…” Kaito grit his teeth, looking away, ashamed, “Dammit. I’m sorry, this is just me doing it fucking again.”

Dr. Mariah tilted her head lightly. “Kaito, if you take a moment, why don’t you think about how you’d actually like to respond to what Shuichi said. He tried to express that he uses a friend as a proxy in your relationship. How do you feel about that?”

Kaito licked his lips, thinking about it… “I don’t really understand what you mean, Shuichi.” Kaito said, picking his words carefully, “And, as an aside, sometimes I still worry about what you said a while back, about being scared of my reactions. After we talk about the proxy thing, I’d appreciate if we could… talk about that.”

Maki smirked. “You’ll never be able to keep that up, golem.”

Kaito let out a frustrated breath, “Shut up, Maki, I still mean it.”

Kokichi frowned softly. “...we did talk about that, but…not in this framing, I don’t think. You… Is that how you feel, Shuu-chan? That you’ve been using,” --well, the name was out there now-- “Drake as a proxy for yourself with Kai-chan?”

They had talked about the playdate thing. How Shuuichi was worried about Kaito, but didn’t know how to help, so he set up a situation he thought would make Kaito happy, if not let him get things off his chest. Kokichi thought they settled from that with a ‘good intentioned, but try to talk to Kaito yourself’, and when that was hard ‘try using the communication techniques we talk about in therapy to help’. 

…laid out like that, those two issues were kind of linked, weren’t they. 

“...I think there’s a good chance we’ll be talking about both as we get through it,” Kokichi said quietly, mulling things over in his head. 

Shuichi seemed to also be realizing that. His expression cooled, but fidgeting with his hat in a telling way, as if he knew how uncomfortable this whole conversation could end up being. At least, could end up being if Shuichi was truly honest with all of them… including himself. 

But… it was an old feeling. And one that had come up a few times now. And it was really just… how one person might react to it that had kept Shuichi from looking at those feelings too closely.

Glancing at Kokichi warily. 

And wasn’t that the strangeness of it all. Shuichi was a little afraid of Kaito’s reactions, but Kaito was the one Shuichi kept taking chances with. Kept risking experimenting with. Had even tried to bring it up to, a handful of times. He couldn’t even begin talking about it to Kokichi, the thought of it felt truly monumental. A truly forbidden action. 

But Shuichi entirely repressing his feelings for Kokichi’s sake and only venting those feelings on Kaito in the most literally abstract and confusing ways possible really wasn’t fair on their tallest fiance. And maybe if Shuichi was being generous, it wasn’t really fair on himself or Kokichi either. 

God, where do you even start though…

Dr. Mariah watched Shuichi struggle with himself, and decided to offer some guidance. “Let’s go back to the ‘proxy’ observation. Shuichi, do you think you could explain your thought process there? How is your friend being used as a proxy for yourself? Is it always the same person?”

Shuichi nodded… before hesitating. “I believe so,” he amended, “I’m not sure I can remember doing it with anyone else. But, to be entirely honest, there’s no one besides him who I think I’d ever get the opportunity to use in that way. The only person, or people, who could potentially fill that role for me would be Kokichi and Maki, and… well, Maki would be too complicated and Kokichi’s already too involved in the relationship to fill the role.”

“Wait, okay, I’m still confused.” Kaito said, raising his hand, “What role?”

Shuichi ran his hand over the frayed edges of his hat, looking down at it. Seriously debating with himself just dodging all of this… before he sighed. “The version of me that actually gets to date you… I suppose.”

Kaito stared at Shuichi for a moment… before squinting a bit. “What? Shuichi, man, I don’t know how to tell you this, but we have been dating dude…”

Shuichi gave Kaito an even look at that. “Name a date we’ve been on.”

“...”

“What was our first date?”

“...” Kaito opened his mouth, closed it… before he raised his finger in a ‘one moment’ motion. Crossing his arms and clearly thinking about it, frowning.

…

…Kokichi frowned softly. Yes, Shuuichi and Kaito did have some communication issues they needed to work through. But…was the one Shuuichi was actually afraid of talking to…him?

…that…kind of hurt, if it was true. Kokichi felt like they’d confided some really difficult and personal things together; Kokichi would easily name Shuuichi as a confidant. But, well, the slight wariness he felt off his fiance didn’t necessarily mean that, and he’d have to ask to actually find out. They’d get to it, he supposed. 

He frowned further as Shuuichi explained that he had been using Drake as a proxy not for…uncomfortably physicality (though Kokichi hadn’t assumed that in the slightest) but…for romance. For the special events. 

“...you two do tend to just…stay home, if you go off to do something together,” Kokichi said softly, after a stretch of silence. 

“So?” Maki asked, as Kaito still sat there, thinking. “Not to be dismissive of your weird insecurities, Shuichi, but… still. Kinda ‘so’?” She asked, shrugging at Shuichi glare, “You haven’t dated Kokichi either and you’re not doing weird pseudo-relationships to peek on with him…” 

And before Dr. Mariah could scold her, Maki tilted her head as she said, “Unless peeking on Kaito dating him kinda ‘does it’ for you there.”

Shuichi looked uncomfortable at that, glaring at Maki a little harder as he said, “Maki, it’s not as clear-cut as that… if you guys are going to try to have me cleanly define my feelings about this, you’re all in for a disappointment. I’ve been struggling with this enough to know that some of my feelings contradict themselves, and I don’t entirely understand all of them–”

Kaito suddenly thumped his fist into his open palm, saying excitedly, “The classified section of the royal library!”

“...what?” Shuichi said, giving Kaito a genuinely baffled look.

“That was our first date! Like, a proper date, where I invited you out somewhere in the hopes of wooing you.” Kaito grinned, pleased he could remember the first one, “You were acting all bitter and standoffish about ‘royal only’ places in the castle that you thought would be really useful to members of the royal staff, and to impress you, I decided I’d bring you into one of the most classified royal spaces along with it being, like, books and stuff! Which I thought you’d get a particular kick out of! I remember you got really into the maps of the capital we found there, you thought the way the catacombs and the pits and sewers and under levels all connected and interweaved around each other was fascinating.”

“Terrifying, more like. Our whole city is built over a massive hole, with the only thing keeping our structures stable being the rubble of the fallen city we built on top of.” Shuichi said, that realization still haunting him to this day as he said, “It felt like the city collapsing into a sinkhole someday was inevitable… Kaito, are you talking about when we were ten?”

“I think you were eleven by then, but yeah!” Kaito grinned. 

Shuichi sighed, looking frustrated, “Kaito, could you please take this seriously…”

At that, Kaito frowned. His own irritation bleeding through as he said, “I am. That was me seriously trying to remember our first date. Or, at least my first attempt at a date. There were plenty, over the years. I confessed to you at thirteen, Shuichi. I was devastated when you turned me down, that was the longest I ever spent in the temple, because I just remember the way you said it and in that moment realizing that everything I had tried to do, all the ways I had tried to express my feelings to you before that… you had missed all of it. I had been trying to date you for years, and you hadn’t even cared enough to notice… I know us dating after the pollen was really rushed, but–”

“No, you clearly don’t know.” Shuichi said coldly. “You can’t comprehend, how… overwhelming, all of that was, not if you’re making jokes like that.”

Kaito hesitated at that, recognizing the anger in Shuichi’s voice was deadly serious. He paused, rethinking himself, “...we really tried to avoid that, Shuichi.” He finally said quietly. Chastised.

At that, some of the chill eased in Shuichi, as he nodded. “I know. That’s one of the reasons I struggle so much with this… I already know you both tried. That we all did. Which is why the resentment I feel sometimes feels cruel.”

Shuuichi had said it before, that there wasn’t anyone outside of Drake that fit the bill…and Kokichi had to admit that if Shuuichi had been setting things up to use Drake as a proxy for Kokichi as well, it might’ve been a little more obvious what was happening. 

But…if his and Kaito’s dates were fitting the bill there…

Kokichi frowned a bit at the example Kaito presented. His husband felt how he felt, and Kokichi didn’t doubt that getting into that part of the library really was done with romantic intent…

…but that wasn’t what a date was. There was a reason Kokichi hadn’t piped up, talking about all the times he and Shuuichi had gone out into the city, trying new restaurants or window shopping. Those things could be dates…but Kokichi knew on his end, he hadn’t suggested them with romantic intent, and he didn’t think Shuuichi had suggested them that way either. Simply enjoying someone’s company wasn’t a date. It had to be intentional from all ends. 

Kaito’s feelings for Shuuichi were real, and the things he did to get his friend’s attention were important…but they were pursuing acts. Not dates. 

Kokichi sighed softly, shame coloring over his expression. “...I’m sorry, Shuu-chan. Talk is just…meaningless unless we actually follow through… I wouldn’t consider it cruel to resent that lack of attention. Even if we meant well.”

Again, more of that cooled edge bled out, as Shuichi huffed slightly. Looking a little embarrassed as he said, “It’s not just attention… I do get attention from the both of you. You make me special, and that’s something I’ve valued. Honestly, sometimes it felt like something I really needed, to the point of selfishness… I was… not emotionally in a good place, when we started… when we got together. In an official way.”

“But even if I appreciated and needed the positive attention you both gave me, I lost something in that exchange.” Shuichi sighed, looking away tiredly. “You rescued me when I needed it, but in that rescue I… I wasn’t in a good place to make decisions like this. I was pregnant with a child I… didn’t want. Recovering from a drug that left me still half in love with one of the worst people in my life. Lusting after literally everyone, unable to trust my own attraction because I no longer had any idea what was me and what was the pollen…”

Shuichi’s lips pressed together again, thinning tightly as he closed his eyes a bit… before he sighed. Putting his hat back on as he gave Kaito a cool look. “And maybe you dated me, Kaito, at least in your own mind. But I never dated you. I never got the true opportunity too, and sometimes it feels like I missed my chance. And setting up a date between you and Drake… I wish I could be the person who could take you out and you’d relax and smile and have fun and talk about whatever was bothering you and instead I feel like I’ve just been this endless burden for the last year, and now that’s what defines our relationship. All these ways I’m a burden to you, all the way we were friends lost in exchange for you having another loved one you had to take care of.”

“And at the same time I feel trapped.” Shuichi said, running his hands over his face, “I feel like I never really had a chance to be anything other than everything I am right now. And at the same time I don’t really want anything else. And at the same time I know my anger and resentment is self centered because it’s not like you two had any more choices than I did. And a part of me blames you. And a part of me feels responsible for all of this. And…”

Shuichi ran his fingers soothingly over both his temples… before shaking his head a little, “Like I said. How I really feel about all of this is so confusing. And I find myself focusing a lot of these feelings on Kaito, in the various way they spring up, cause… I don’t know. Maybe because Kokichi’s so deeply in the same boat as me? …maybe because Kaito feels easier to vent those frustration too.” Shuichi said softly.

Kokichi nodded, something downcast in his eyes. He was happy with their family, the outcome they got and fought for something that exceeded his wildest dreams, and Kokichi wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

…except to maybe get where they were through a different path. 

Shuuichi had made choices. He had refused to let Maki kill him, ruining herself in the process, he had chosen to--at first--experiment with the spores and keep it a secret. He had chosen to follow Kaito, giving up the, if not free, than respected and lucrative life he had for something that was all questions that probably had horrific answers. 

But for so long, things had just happened to Shuuichi, and at a few points, he even genuinely had no choice about what to do. 

He had gotten loving partners and a wonderful daughter and the safety of his dearest friend, and now the opening of an incredible future…but he had given up so much to get there. Lost what made a life a life at times, had lost his choices, and…

And it wasn’t too late, but…

That wasn’t the issue. They weren’t talking about what to do. Shuuichi was expressing himself, and…Kokichi and Kaito needed to understand what he was saying. 

“...I know confusion is kind of the thing here,” Kokichi said softly, “So…if you don’t know, I’m not trying to pressure you for an answer. Do…do you feel like you can’t talk about difficult things with me, Shuu-chan?”

A moment ago, Shuichi might have thought of the idea of answering that question directly as one of the worst possible outcomes to this conversation… but in the moment, in the reality of it? He just sighed, brushing his hair out of his forehead a little as he said, “Difficult things? No. We talk about difficult things frequently. I just found talking about this difficult, with you. I didn’t want you to ever know how conflicted I was, at any point, over our relationship. It doesn’t feel fair.”

Giving Kaito a dry look, he said, “In truth, I may never have even talked to Kaito about it originally, had Kaito not severely forced my hand.”

Kaito rubbed the back of his neck, looking away uncomfortably, “...sorry about that. I was trying to do things right…”

“Mmhm.” Shuichi said, not sounding convinced, before looking back at Kokichi, his expression softening, “But, as angry as I could feel sometimes, towards Kaito, I have to admit that our shared history made facing that anger a little easier. We’ve known each other a year, and I’m going to marry you, Kokichi. I love you. But I very much am still in the process of getting to know you. My anger towards you… even admitting I have any feels deeply uncomfortable. I don’t really know how to navigate it with you. I’m not certain you and I have ever really had a fight. I don’t know where to begin with that, and honestly, I don’t always feel like my anger is justified anyway. Not the hill I want to strain our relationship on.”

“And, that’s where I come in.” Dr. Mariah said, speaking up after letting them go on for quite a bit, sitting up slightly straighter as she got their attention, “Being able to communicate with each other, especially the most uncomfortable aspects of your feelings, is largely why you’re here, after all. While Shuichi’s anger towards Kaito warrants focus and discussion as well, it’s actually Shuichi and Kokichi’s communication that feels like an actual crisis, in this situation. Or at least a potential for one. Shuichi is fixating on Kaito because, it seems, he feels more comfortable doing so. We need to open those lines of communication between him and Kokichi as well.”

Kokichi sighed softly. “I know we’ve both talked about our regrets getting here… All in terms of generally, and in our relationship, and about Miyako. But…we never really went past, ‘Yeah, that wasn’t great, I regret it, but I’m happy to be here now’...huh.”

They’d talked about a lack of agency they both felt, feeling like they’d skipped parts of their relationship, feeling like they were missing things that others around their age did without such grand acknowledgement. But…this was the first time Kokichi had ever heard about Shuuichi being angry with him. Resentment, yeah, but…

Playing with the hem of his shirt, Kokichi nodded, his lips a line. “We’ve certainly been angry around each other, but…I think you’re right. I don’t think we’ve really ever argued with each other.” Kokichi huffed. “That might be something I have to focus on, personally, as well. Since arguing with Kai-chan has been something we’ve talked about too.”

“...I don’t blame you, for being angry with me. I might’ve been inexperienced at the start, but…I’m just as much a part of our relationship as you guys. And…we didn’t exactly get much time to get to know each other as friends, before being romantically involved,” Kokichi offered Shuuichi a sad smile. “I don’t consider you a stranger, Shuu-chan, but…there’s a lot we just haven’t had time to know about each other yet.”

Shuichi nodded at that, and while Dr. Mariah had been about to start some exercise or another– she was still considering it over in her mind– she decided to wait, Shuichi on his own train of thought.

“...you were…” Shuichi’s face softened, something vulnerable in it. A deep part of himself not wanting to say this, because his love for Kokichi was genuine and bright and burning. But… his expression hardened when he looked to Kokichi. “You were incredibly selfish, with me.”

Kaito literally had to bite his tongue to keep him from snapping at Shuichi. Protective instincts rushing up. He ended up looking at Maki, who was looking approvingly at Shuichi. He caught her eye and frowned at her, and Maki just raised an eyebrow. 

Shuichi sighed, clasping his hands together firmly and straightening his shoulders, his expression cooling as he said to Kokichi, “I believe we’ve talked about it before, how everything that happened afterwords retroactively made what happened okay. That’s still true, Kokichi. Perhaps my feelings were coerced in the moment, but I look back on that memory as a good thing. Retroactive consent. You made it up to me… but if I hadn’t loved you back?” Shuichi’s shoulders lowered lightly. “How you treated me was selfish. Kaito was married to you, yes, and legally that does mean he belongs to you to an extent… but that’s also not how it works here. You had no right to ask him to choose between yourself and me. And you did make him choose. You all believed that sex was a literal cure to my illness, and instead of letting my friend help me, you decided to exercise your claim on a man you had only known for a little over a month. Made him choose between us… I know you were insecure Kokichi. But that was still selfish.”

Kaito grit his teeth, tensing. That wasn’t fair…

Kokichi nodded slowly, that sad, regretful look only deepening…but that was it. There wasn’t shaking or tears or gasping… He was just a man who had made decisions that hurt people he loved, and he regretted that. 

…he had actually never asked Kaito. It was worse than that, honestly. Kokichi had made some half-hearted statements about, if it was for Shuuichi’s health, Kaito could…but that they weren’t even sure it was a cure, and maybe they could find another way? It hadn’t been a ‘no’, but emotionally there was no way Kaito could’ve ever taken it as a ‘yes’. 

Then Shuuichi had had his suicide attempt, and Kokichi did his best to talk him down, and then the medicine started…if not working, then having effects and…it felt like the next time it ever came up was their threesome. 

But it didn’t change that… 

“Yeah,” Kokichi said softly. “I was scared. And there’s a part of me that’s disturbed that my fear of Kai-chan hating me outweighed my fears of you getting worse. It goes against everything I believe in to prioritize feelings over someone’s life, and…that’s what I did. I tried to justify it all sorts of ways, in those couple days, that you were getting other help, that maybe sex wasn’t the answer… But when I eliminated the fears of Kai-chan leaving me, I was all for taking advantage of you. Even if we thought it would help.”

“My priorities were selfish, and I let that decide my actions, instead of what I thought was right,” Kokichi frowned, before bowing his head a bit to Shuuichi. “...I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that, and you’re right to be angry about it.”

Shuichi nodded back, sighing as he closed his eyes. “I knew you wouldn’t feel any other way about it. Getting to know you, getting in a true relationship with you, lets me get to know you as someone who would understand why I’m angry. I can’t even say I was really trying to get an apology. I knew you’d be sorry, getting it confirmed doesn’t mean much to me. I suppose I just… needed to say it. I need to say all of it. To let you all know that while emotionally I’m okay with what happened, I am aware of all the ways it was unkind to me. And the memories of it all do still hurt, when taken by themselves.”

“There’s nothing I really want either of you to do.” Shuichi said softly, “And trying to recreate experiences that seem out of my grasp… I’m aware of how childishly I’m handling that. I really could just…” Shuichi huffed, rolling his eyes at himself a little, “Do this more straightforwardly and take you both on dates. Treat you both in the playful, easy way that I envy in other new couples. Sometimes I wonder if the seriousness of our relationship might just be a me thing. If just who I am as a person makes it too difficult for our relationship to be casual… do you two have any idea what I’m talking about?” Shuichi suddenly asked, giving them a self-conscious look, “Is it just me who feels this way? You two have this ease with each other… sometimes I just feel like this extra piece in your relationship.”

Kaito barked a laugh at that. Before looking sheepish at Shuichi withering look at that. “Sorry, sorry… I do get what you mean. But I feel like that about you guys, sometimes.”

Kokichi nodded, at last starting to smile a bit, even if it was incredibly sheepish. “I spent months agonizing over that about you two. I’d like to think I’ve gotten over myself a bit, but…you guys have a lifelong history with each other that nothing will ever be the same as, with me. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel intimidated by that.”

He huffed a sigh. “I said it before… We have talked about going on dates. But that doesn’t matter if we never actually do it.” Kokichi narrowed his eyes, puffing his cheeks a little as determination welled within him. “Shuu-chan… I’d like to ask you to go to Clay’s vineyard with me next week. As a date. And then go out to…lunch or dinner, or some meal as part of our date.”

Shuichi gave Kokichi somewhat a blank look for a second… before a small smile pinked his face, looking away as he said softly, “I just said you don’t have to do anything…”

It was Maki who rolled her eyes at that, “You’re so high maintenance. Just say yes, let them pamper you. It’s not like you don’t deserve it.”

Shuichi had been notably getting angry with her, right up until that last line, which took him off guard a bit. Maki could see how genuinely he hadn’t expected her to say that, and she huffed, “What? Did you think I’d say this was all coming out of nowhere and that they were just humoring you? You followed Kaito across the border and into enemy territory where he then proceeded to ignore you and put all of his energy into his brand new relationship for a thousand different reasons, none of them your fault. Then you were hurt. A Lot. And were still ignored in favor of the new relationship. Then you were pressured into that new relationship, pregnant and uncertain and desperately trying to get a grip… and all of that still played second fiddle to the sheer crap that was constantly going on with Kaito and Kokichi, which we spend most of these sessions still detangling.”

“What were we saying last session. That it’s okay for Kaito to be angry about things? Because just because it wasn’t Kokichi’s fault that he was ignored during a difficult time, it still happened?” Maki said, kicking at the ground a little, “You were ignored when you really, really needed us, Shuichi. Sure, we’ve done a lot of things as a group to make up for that, probably overly so. We protect you and obsessively look after you, you’re easily the ‘princess’ of this group, regardless of how hard Kokichi and Kaito both vie for that spot–”

“I don’t know what that insult means but I know she just insulted us.” Kaito muttered.

“-- and you know what? It still doesn’t make up for how badly we all fucked up in those early days. So if you’re feeling needy to be treated like you’re actually being courted and dated and like your relationship wasn’t basically guaranteed the second Miyako came to light? You don’t want to be taken for granted. Good. Finally. Demand it of them, they owe you.” Maki said, pausing, “...I’ll make up for my end of it by babysitting so they can dote on you. And continue to be an awesome friend, because I’ve already been working on that since being so shitty to you when I was prioritizing the war effort over being there for you. But, we’ve already talked about that in private…”

Shuichi nodded. He and Maki having had quite a few tense, private conversations about how she had so dramatically dropped the ball with their relationship, the last year. 

“So, do it. Be whiney and needy and demand all the shit they really should have been doing before you finally did the big romantic gesture you were owed by that point and asked them to marry you. They have a lot of ground to make up for.” Maki said, shrugging a little, “...in my opinion.”

Shuichi pressed his palms together a bit… before nodding. Looking back at Kokichi as he said, “...we can go to the vineyard…” Shuichi pinked, before saying, “I’d like to go by carriage. I know the vineyard isn’t far, but I don’t want to walk. And… and you don’t have to drink with me, but I want to try some nice wines. A-and…” Shuichi hesitated, maybe feeling this was too selfish, “...I-I don’t want to talk about Kaito or Miyako or anything like that… I just want it to be a date between us. If… if that makes sense…”

And then Shuichi turned to Kaito and said, “And you’re taking me to that Tealeaf place the weekend after that, and you’re buying a new outfit for it, because that’s how you used to do it back in Luminary!” Shuichi demanded. Looking deeply embarrassed as he continued, “And I reserve the right to act like an idiot!”

“....I mean?” Kaito grinned, “You promise?”

Maybe there was no action demanded, and it was still primarily important to understand Shuuichi’s feelings…but damn it! Kokichi wanted to date his fiance! It wasn’t going to make up for a year of fumbling, and it wasn’t intended to--Kokichi just wanted to get started on a better future. 

That Shuuichi looked pleased with his request meant that he was probably on the right track. 

Kokichi…still wasn’t all that sure how to date. How to initiate. But he’d been on enough dates with Kaito to wing it, and get a sense of where he should probably be aiming. As clumsy as he was with romance…well, that was exactly the experience Shuuichi said he regretted not having. The ‘figuring it out’ part. 

And having direct demands made it a little easier to plan for. 

Smiling adoringly at Shuuichi, Kokichi nodded, though he twirled his hair a little sheepishly. “I do tend to talk about Miya in…like every context. And I don’t think Kai-chan and I have ever not talked about her and you on our dates…but I’ll do my best to catch myself. A date just for us.”

Shuichi looked genuinely surprised at that, glancing at Kaito before asking, “You guys talk about us on dates?”

Kaito chuckled a bit at that, “What, did you think when I went out with Kokichi I forgot about you guys entirely? You’re always on my mind…” Kaito suddenly sighed. Running his hands over his face as he considered things… before saying, “I’m sorry, Shuichi. I’m not looking at this from your perspective. I was just… I was caught off guard because I’ve been telling myself I’ve been going on dates with you for years, when really that’s just something I’ve always told myself to make me feel better. It’s not a fucking date if you didn’t know I was trying to date you, and nothing in the last year of us actually going out counted either. I shouldn’t have tried to play it off like this came out of nowhere, it didn’t.”

Giving Kokichi a soft look, Kaito shrugged, “Like Kokichi said earlier… just because we keep saying we’re going to do things doesn’t equal us doing them. Hell, me and him would constantly talk about how we were going to take this slow, not pressure you, not push you into things… but that wasn’t realistic, was it.” Kaito realized, face morphing with regret a little, “Maki’s right. The second Miyako became a thing? There was always going to be pressure to make this work, whether we put it on you or not. Ignoring the unspoken pressure on you to be in a real relationship with us… that was me just doing that shitty thing again where I was trying to be the ‘hero’ in our relationship without actually facing all the ways it was never going to be fair. I’m the one who allowed all that shit to happen, when it comes to you it shouldn’t have come down to Kokichi giving me permission. I should have insisted, and I should have protected you, and I should have risked my own comfort and stability in my new relationship to do those things. And when we asked you to date us, we should have talked about… I don’t know.”

Kaito hesitated, before saying, “We should have talked about what to expect from a relationship, maybe. I think a part of me so desperately wanted to avoid the… the ‘concubine’ similarities because I didn’t want to feel like I was buying you. I wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean I should have ignored all the reasons concubine laws and morality tales and scriptures about them exist. I should have spoken to you more plainly about the position I knew you were in… so that you didn’t have to feel alone in it, or pretend like our relationship was really as free and spontaneous as I knew it wasn’t. Hell, Byakuya worked harder than I did, to make certain you were protected… and I definitely, knowing how fucking difficult the position you were in is, should have been making more of an effort this last year to make you feel special and courted. You’re always telling me I treat you and Kokichi differently, that I play ‘favorites’... you’re right, I need to stop dismissing that as you being just cute or the jealous type. I am playing favorites in our relationship. Not that Kokichi is my favorite, but just in the sense that…I’ve been taking you for granted and I can’t do that. Yes, we’ve been friends forever, and yes, Miyako adds complications, and yes, I’m one of the few people here you know… and yes, that puts a lot of pressure on you to be in a relationship with me. But…”

Kaito frowned, giving Shuichi a hard look. “I know you can leave me. You’re strong. If I keep taking you for granted, I’m going to lose you. And I’d do anything to avoid that, Shuichi… I’m sorry. And yeah, I want to go to that Tealeaf place with you. I want to do a lot of things with you. I love you a whole damn lot, Shuichi.”

Shuichi was looking increasingly sheepish and slightly uncomfortable. Clearly pleased with all the affection being thrown his way, but embarrassed with how they had gotten to this point as he whispered, “I know you both love me… I know I’m difficult too…”

Kaito chuckled, jutting his thumb towards Kokichi, then towards himself, “Hey, welcome to the club! Kaito, Kokichi and Shuichi! We are Difficult To Date! So much baggage, holy shit, you guys.”

“Mmmhm.” Maki hummed.

“There’s so much I want to go over,” Dr. Mariah sighed, tapping at her journal, “I still want to go over the boundaries conversation this all lead too, and also discussing that ‘concubine’ thing Kaito brought up feels important. I have a feeling we should clarify some mentalities there. Also I suspect we should still talk about the ‘proxy’ friend a little, we can’t brush through that without analysis… phew. Lots all at once there.”

Kokichi nodded, looking a little embarrassed. “I mean…I really have been trying to branch out and have my own life, but…I’d still say you guys are the heavy majority of it. Am-chan and the others have to call me out, sometimes, ‘cause all I’ve been doing is talking about you guys.”

He did still talk about his other interests, but…Kokichi loved his family! And most of the new developments in his life were centered around them. What else would he talk about?

…

Kaito had a point too. Shuuichi still did deserve his apology, for Kokichi’s selfishness, but…like he’d pointed out, they were all a part of their relationship. Kaito had just as much agency to act upon. Even if Kokichi had told him no, there wasn’t any literal way Kokichi could stop him. Kaito had chosen not to. 

And then when their relationship started… They had talked about not wanting to put pressure on Shuuichi, because he was already pressured by having their baby. Kokichi still didn’t really understand the ‘concubine’ stuff, but…he could understand that they really should’ve been more candid about what they all wanted from their relationship, and the realities already there that they couldn’t take things slow with. 

Kokichi…had just been excited to love someone. Caught up in the feeling, rather than the work that made love bloom and thrive. 

He let out a huff of a laugh as Kaito deemed them a new club, giving his guys a fond look. It was a mess…but they’d get through it. One step at a time. 

“...could we go over the concubine stuff again?” he suggested. “I know you’ve explained it before, but…it’s hard to grasp.”

Kaito looked to Shuichi and Maki, and when he realized they weren’t going to speak up, sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Geez… alright. Um…”

“Concubines…” Kaito stared at the koi fish pond, trying to think how to explain it, “When they were first a thing? Concubine was a type of slave, really. You’d buy someone you found attractive, they’d live either in your home with you or some designated area, and, well… the usual reason to have one was to have sex with them. But just because that was the technical definition doesn’t mean that shit didn’t get complicated over the years. People got pregnant, ineherentices were debated, people fell in love. Eventually, being a concubine legally morphed into being a sort of second-class spouse. There were legal protections both for them and any children they bore for the person who owned them, and with those legal protection and status upgrades made being a concubine look more and more appealing. It became popular for a while for even high ranking lords to sell their second or third children to established households and married fellow lords and nobility to ensure their children would be comfortable and safe for the rest of their lives.”

Maki rolled her eyes, as she pointed out, “But people in the end still basically just wanted sex slaves, and since concubines eventually just became another way of getting married more than once, the actual act of buying concubines fell off. Too much trouble.”

“Right,” Kaito nodded, before sighing. “And, look, obviously that’s not really Shuichi’s situation. He’s not a slave we bought into our relationship to have sex with. He’s not actually a concubine… here. In Dicea. In Luminary we can’t marry more than one person so… he is, there. But being legally claimed as my concubine there also gave him legal protections there, along with Miyako, and Miyako gets to keep her title and inheritance– till we get her to renounce that– and Shuichi gets some of our land and a title of Lord. So, legally, that’s what that is all about.”

“But as far as what I was talking about… it’s tough! Being the third person brought into an already established marriage!” Kaito said, looking frustrated, “That’s never not going to be tough! And a lot of stories about concubines focus on the struggle of that, especially for a concubine bought because of an unexpected pregnancy. I grew up hearing those stories more than most, The Good Book is littered with them and my mentor told me plenty more because she said that protecting concubines was one of the Momota’s first real responsibilities. Like, that’s why we were chosen. To protect whores and concubines… and turns out!? She might have been suuuuper right. Maybe more than she ever knew… anyway, my point is, ignoring the way Shuichi’s situation was like the concubines in those stories made me ignore why those stories were passed down. Concubines lives are more tricky to navigate than people in just a regular relationship. That needs to be respected and considered…” 

Kaito paused, before giving Kokichi a sheepish look, “Sorry, that was me going on a tangent, wasn’t it. It’s something I’ve been thinking quietly to myself on and off for a long time. I know how… awful most of that is.”

Nodding slowly, Kokichi ran a hand through his hair as he considered everything, lips turned in a soft frown. “...at this point, I do understand the legal protections in Luminary, and even how…the lack of me throwing a fuss, I guess, helps that in Luminary. And…like you said, it’s different here. Polyamorous relationships are just as acknowledged and protected as monogamous relationships, and…stuff like inheritance or child custody aren’t decided by the government anyway.”

Kokichi frowned a little more. “...to me, it doesn’t feel like Shuu-chan is…a secondary spouse, the fact that we haven’t gotten married yet notwithstanding. You,” he eyes flicked to Shuuichi, “You don’t feel like an add-on, to me. Or a bonus. We might’ve met because of Kai-chan, but…I love you. That’s the reason I wanted to be in a relationship, and why I want to marry you.”

“...and while legally that is what happened,” Kokichi’s frown scrunched to the side, “...I think calling us an established marriage, at the time we asked if Shuu-chan wanted to date us, is…a stretch. We hadn’t even known each other a month. That doesn’t mean that Shuu-chan didn’t face pressures and have struggles of entering relationships with us…but…I guess, to me, it, more or less, feels like I started dating you both right around the same time.”

Kaito nodded, biting the inside of his lip a little. “I get that, I guess really I meant more… the pregnancy, you know? Because that really did pressure him too– GAH!”

Dr. Mariah stare was genuinely dumbfounded, this the first time she had ever seen Maki flick a blade. It… was genuinely a little frightening. Dr. Mariah having just been watching Kaito talk, and without even seeing the movement or sensing anything was going to happen at all, suddenly watching a blade stick itself into the wooden frame right next to Kaito’s head, Kaito giving the blade a wild-eyed look for a moment… before turning to Maki and shouted, “What!?”

Maki rolled her eyes before nodding towards Shuichi, whose hat had been brought low and was clearly looking embarrassed. 

“Oh… oh! No, okay, it doesn’t really matter what I think… uh, handsome?” Kaito tried, reaching up to pull the blade out from the egg framework, “What do you think about all the… concubine stuff and all of that?”

Shuichi sighed, adjusting his hat up a little so he could see them more clearly… before shrugging a bit. “Kokichi and I have basically just started dating. You both weren’t established… but…” Shuichi looked to Kokichi, before shrugging again, “I am Luminary. Or, was. And legally… it did feel a bit like I was… I had moments. Moments where I viewed my situation with you both in not the best light. Me coming down from the pollen effects didn’t help with that. There were days where I felt like some project you and Kaito had taken on. But I never feel like that anymore, and honestly beyond that first month together, I don’t think I ever felt like that again. But when we first got together? There were days where I felt like I was something nice you and Kaito just… had.”

“But,” Shuichi looked to Kaito, “No, I don’t feel like a concubine anymore. And I don’t even really feel like a second-class or secondary spouse. I just… most of this is me regretting my missed chance to explore what puberty, or this second puberty, meant to me. When you both asked me out? It was a relief… I was afraid you two were going to abandon me, I had no idea what the future looked like and desperately wanted that reassurance that you two were going to value me. It was… scary.”

“But the more distance I put between myself and that terrified, newly pregnant drug addict in the carriage that day, still hoping I could somehow have a ‘relationship’,” Shuichi bunny-eared that, looking mildly repulsed, “with Nao when we returned somehow too, the more irritated I am with how afraid I was. It’s… nice. To want to date people. To find people attractive and alluring. I feel…” Shuichi smiled a little, “A little young and foolish. Excited randomly and embarrassed by that excitement. But in a fun way. I feel like I finally understand why you act this way, Kaito. It’s fun. And a large part of me regrets how quickly I had to find stability and be mature when this whole new aspect of my life had just opened up to me… not in a way where I want to pursue it with other people. Just… more that I wish I hadn’t felt like I spent most of our early relationship being a project you all were working on. Now that the project is done? …I just want things to feel different. Sometimes. A little… more like someone in a new relationship, than someone you all literally had to babysit for twentyfour/seven and acted so… stupid and shameful with you both…”

The pregnancy had changed things. It hadn’t been the impetus for their relationship, but it had forced them to get serious quickly. Kokichi hadn’t had any thoughts about ever leaving Kaito or Shuuichi, but when they found out Shuuichi was pregnant? That cemented it for him. And it meant he needed to get his act together immediately. 

Which…wasn’t entirely successful, but he was trying. 

Kokichi nodded sadly when Shuuichi spoke up, recalling past conversations when Shuuichi had confessed to feeling like a project. He never wanted to add fuel to that perception. Yes, Shuuichi was struggling a lot when they first got together, and at times they had to do things like managing his medication and following him around because they couldn’t trust Shuuichi to be alone. They’d had conversations about Shuuichi’s freedoms, and didn’t have them frequently enough to the point it really hurt Shuuichi. 

…none of that had felt like a project, though. Kokichi loved Shuuichi, so he wanted to see him get better. He had wanted that for Kaito too, and was wanting that for Maki as well. But…he could understand feeling like a burden through all of that. Even knowing of the love that ran through it. 

“...it doesn’t change how you feel,” Kokichi said softly, “But I never felt like you were being stupid. I don’t blame you for struggling. I wanted to stand with you when things are tough, and when they got easier, I was happy.”

“I can’t change your feelings, but…we still can change some of the things we do,” Kokichi smiled shyly. “Dating is a lot of fun. I can’t wait to do it with you.”

Shuichi smiled lightly back at that, saying softly, “It looks like a lot of fun… I really want to do that with you.”

Kaito, idly playing with Maki’s knife now, stared at Shuichi and Kokichi… before muttering to himself, “Cute.” a flash of red running through his face before looking to Maki, “I’m keeping this.”

“I’ll just take it back from you later.” Maki said, undisturbed.

“Let’s try not to play with knives during therapy.” Dr. Mariah sighed, before looking to the group as a whole, “I don’t know if Shuichi’s situation can be called a ‘concubine’ situation, Kaito, but I can understand how you want to equate it and use those lessons to try to make him more comfortable in the relationship. That said, you should be clear about what those lessons actually means, action wise, from you. So that neither of your partners are taken off guard.”

“Action-wise…” Kaito stared at the sky a bit, not really seeing it, just searching through his brain, “...I guess ultimately it just means I need to make an effort to make Shuichi feel heard and valued. To make certain he knows he means just as much to me as Kokichi does, and that I respect him. That if I do something nice or considerate for one spouse, I need to remember to make time and consideration for the other in turn. If I had been keeping that in mind from the beginning, I wouldn’t need to be thinking of examples before we moved to Dicea, for taking Shuichi out on actual dates. I like dating. I shouldn’t have been putting Shuichi on the sidelines so damn much that he eventually decided the only way he was going to get a date with me was living vicariously through his friend… wow that is fucked now that I say it out loud. I left my fiance so damn desperate for nice experiences with me that he literally thought Drake had a better shot at it then he did… fuck.”

“You suck.” Maki nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me before that happened!?”

“I can’t keep active track of all the ways you suck, sometimes things slip through the cracks.”

“Children.” Dr. Mariah grumbled, rubbing at her eye a little, before sighing, “So, to be clear: treating Shuichi how you, Kaito, believe a concubine deserves to be treated, means you need to make a point to show him an equal amount of affection as you show Kokichi? That’s the actions?”

“Well, that and asking him more frequently how he’s feeling about things. If I’m not doing a good job making him feel like a part of the relationship, then I need to give him the opportunity to tell me, without putting all the burden on him to just wait until he loses his patience.”

“I see. Shuichi?” Dr. Mariah said, looking to Shuichi, “Is that agreeable to you, from Kaito’s side of things? Is there anything you want clarified or expanded upon?”

Shuichi thought about it, “... I mean, I suppose just don’t overcorrect, Kaito. You don’t have to get me a present for every present you buy Kokichi or anything as meticulous as all of that, which I can imagine you doing. And, well… don’t feel like this puts some pressure on you to not bring it up when I fail in this relationship too. Concubines are truly, legally dependent on their owners, and like when I was an indentured that would mean there’s some expectations on you to, well… give up power to make our relationship equal. But that’s not the case anymore, and I don’t want you to fall back into those old habits. Especially when, well…” Shuichi looked a little tired, “You and I both know I’m often tempted to take advantage of that. Having this new aspect in my life has, while fun and interesting and exciting, also shown me a side of myself that can be a little…”

“You’re not Nao.” Kaito said.

Shuichi sighed, “I don’t need to be Nao to recognize I’m still making some very unkind mistakes with you, Kaito. Me enjoying watching you submit is different from all of that, but me… consciously or not, trying to ‘choose’ partners for you and, well, that mess I made of trying to punish you over what happened with Kokichi…”

Kaito frowned, “But you… didn’t enjoy that, right? I mean… hurting me, right?”

“Right.” Shuichi nodded, “But the fact that the idea ever even occurred to me, let alone me following up on it? Multiple times in a row? That’s a dark impulse in me, Kaito, that I have to acknowledge is there. And I disproportionately take it out on you. This Drake thing only the latest example.”

“We’ve discussed it before, but give me a refresher on the ‘Kokichi punishment’ event.” Dr. Mariah asked. 

“Shuichi found out about Kaito raping Kokichi, and decided to punish him by pressuring him into really bad anal sex.” Maki explained, “Kaito didn’t notice it was happening. He just thought Shuichi sucked at sex. It was all pretty embarrassing and stupid, at least from my end of the koi pond.”

“Hm.” Dr. Mariah hummed.

That sounded pretty reasonable, as long as, like Shuuichi said, Kaito didn’t try to overcompensate. Especially when it came to dates, Kokichi knew he tended to just follow along, rather than initiating so…maybe he could take some cues from that too. Not just for Shuuichi, but…trying to be a little more proactive in his relationships. Suggest things for them to do, rather than just waiting around for someone else to do it. 

…it was embarrassing and sounded ridiculous even to him, but…maybe he could make a plan to come up with at least one idea a week, and write it down in a journal. Not necessarily to act on it, but to put himself dedicatedly into that sort of mindset, so he didn’t just get lulled into the repetition of life and end up neglecting his partners in the process. 

And, as was the theme of this session…they all were a part of their relationship. And while Shuuichi was hurt, he had made some poor decisions too. Even if they’d talked about it already. 

Kokichi’s brows furrowed, and he looked down into the pond. 

“...I don’t want to harp on it. We’ve already talked about it,” he said shortly. “...I don’t like that you went around my back to…enact personal justice in my name.” Even more than that, he hated that Shuuichi hurt Kaito, and Kaito didn’t even think to stand up for himself…but they had already discussed those points the last few times they talked about this. 

Kokichi didn’t think he ever brought up what he thought about Shuuichi’s intentions.

Shuichi’s expression tightened a little bit… before looking away. Adjusting his hat a little as he murmured, “I knew you wouldn’t like it. I did try to keep it from you, that was always the intention…”

“You do know that’s not the mentality we hope you’re going into stuff like this, right?” Kaito asked dryly, “It’s really not okay if we just don’t find out about it. Especially when apparently no one here actually commits to keeping the secrets. Instead we all just reveal them to each other in the shittiest ways possible and it becomes an even worse mess than if we had found out by, like, I don’t know, overhearing someone whispering about it. Like, we reveal secrets to each other in bombastic ways.”

Shuichi huffed a little, slightly annoyed that Kaito had taken his thousandth shot at them for all the lying stuff. Like, yes, he knew it had happened a lot in the last year, but… come on, Kaito. He knew already. They all knew.

“I know the fact that I meant to keep it a secret doesn’t make it better. I just mean… I knew Kokichi wouldn’t approve. In truth, I think not even long before that we specifically discussed, how unfair relying on the individual to punish their loved ones attackers was incredibly unfair to them… I knew how you felt about it, and honestly, usually feel the same way.” Shuichi said, looking a little shame-faced as he said, “I don’t… really have any good reasons for why I did what I did. Beyond just anger.”

“It can be enough to hear Kokichi out, on what he wants to say on this. Sometimes there’s no answer to a problem beyond understanding the problem itself.” Dr. Mariah said, looking to Kokichi as she asked, “Kokichi, Shuichi harmed Kaito in a rather serious manner, in defense of you. I have to imagine that was a difficult thing to hear, when it first happened.”

Kokichi sighed softly. Just because you were ignorant didn’t mean that actions didn’t happen, and that all the horrible stuff going on in the world was okay. Shuuichi keeping it a secret didn’t make it better, and in some cases made it even worse. 

But he wasn’t looking for another apology, or a promise that it wouldn’t happen again. They had already talked through all those parts. It was just…

Kokichi sighed, giving Dr. Mariah a small nod. “...it was awful. Of course I never want my loved ones to be hurt, let alone to find out that they were hurting each other…and even less to be pointed at as the cause for it. I just…” Another sigh, as Kokichi ran a hand through his hair. “...I know you know how I feel, Shuu-chan. And I’m not…looking for anything from you. I just…don’t think I ever said how I felt about it. And even if you already knew…I think it’s important to say anyway. At least once. So…I wanted to say it.”

Shuichi gave Kokichi a soft, guilty look at that…

“Ha.” Kaito said, smirking as he lazily pointed the knife at Shuichi, who turned with a startled look at that, “No weird sex punishments for Kaito. Kokichi said no. You gotta watch out, Shuichi, our Kokichi gets real protective when people do weird sex shit to me. I thought he was going to go and throw some hands at the strip club that one time, seriously.”

“Tengan.” Maki pointed out.

Kaito lit up at that, nodding enthusiastically, “Another good example, mmhm.”

“Kokichi also just doesn’t like vengeance plots.” Shuichi responded somewhat dryly, “I think I could have smacked you in the face and it would have been just as alarming.”

“Quicker too. I lost so much sleep that week.” Kaito sighed, “It is something we really gotta keep in mind though. When I made all those damn letters for Cedar, I just… knew that anything else I wanted to do would just make Kokichi miserable. And I knew the letters weren’t even going to make him feel any better either. I just needed to do it because I needed to do something. And I think you were just feeling the same way, Shuichi. You had to do something… but in the future, if something like this ever comes up again–”

“I will literally stab you both.” Maki said dryly.

“--It won’t. Come up again. But if something wild happens and suddenly we’re all vengeance focused again, we have to keep in mind how much Kokichi hates that shit. Compromises, ya know? I get to send, just, way too many letters, and next time you should just slap me. Maybe with Kokichi’s permission? Kokichi, you think you’d ever let Shuichi slap me if I was being a fucking dick to you again?” Kaito asked curiously.

…Kokichi didn’t think Tengan counted as a vengeance plot. He had been actively hurting Kaito, and Kokichi kicked him out. What Temp did to him… Maybe. But, like the letters…it was something that left the world better off, for how unfortunate it was that a person could be so horrible that that would be true. 

Really, Kokichi would much rather protect someone than try to make up for something that already happened. Even if he was tempted to at times. 

Sighing softly, Kokichi rubbed his temple again. “...Hun, don’t make me answer that. I don’t think I could handle walking down a hypothetical in which you raped me again. And…I can’t stop you guys from fighting each other. I’d rather you not, you know, but…it’s literally not something I can stop, unless it gets to the point I could call the Guardforce.”

“I probably still wouldn’t be happy, but…just admit it’s for yourself, in that case. I don’t give my blessing, so don’t pretend it’s there.”

Kaito pouted a little, “There’s other ways I could be a dick. I could…” Kaito paused to think about it, “...when I go to that candy shop place, only buy myself licorice. That’s pretty nefarious. Especially if I did it maliciously? Like, tee-heehee, I’mma gonna go to Kokichi’s favorite candy place and get him fuck all. Muwahahaha… that’s gotta be worth a slap.”

“Maybe if you don’t get me candy that’ll earn a slap, yes.” Shuichi muttered. 

Dr. Mariah could recognize burnout when it was starting. Kaito in particular would often start making jokes when a conversation had emotionally worn him out. Which was a shame, because she didn’t really feel like they had come to a stopping point yet, either timewise or conversation wise. She wondered what had worn Kaito so thin already. It wasn’t like the conversation was all that focused on him… perhaps it was the discussion of Shuichi’s ‘sex punishments’. Kaito tired from the reminder. 

Kokichi also looked a little worn down. Irritated, though Dr. Mariah could guess it was discussing an old, difficult concept that his family seemed to struggle to grasp. Kokichi did not want battles fought for him. Which was likely a difficult thing to hear, for a group who had established relationships fighting each others battles. Water and oil…

“Let’s take five minutes.” Dr. Mariah decided, “You don’t have to be silent, but if you’re feeling restless, I recommend getting up and walking around a bit. It’s been a long session already, but we’re making good progress.”

Kaito sighed, standing up and stretching. Following his usual pattern of heading to the other side of the roof to look down at the view.

He…wasn’t really in the mood for that kind of joke. 

…what a horrible question. What sort of atrocity would a loved one have to commit, before the pacifist gives the moral okay for another loved one to take retribution? That wasn’t the question Kaito had asked, Kokichi could realize, and even in terms of a slap it was almost played like a joke already…

…but Kokichi didn’t want people to hit Kaito. He didn’t want Shuuichi to hit Kaito. He didn’t want them to hurt each other. They were in therapy to learn how to better avoid the emotional injuries, they didn’t need to…joke around with physical ones too. 

Nodding as Dr. Mariah called for a break, Kokichi got up to pour himself some lemonade, before settling back down in his egg, sitting back in silence. 

…maybe he was just getting heated. Better take this time to cool down.

Maki got up, heading over to Shuichi and, resting her knee on the edge of his egg and placing her hands on the top, to his amusement lightly rocked the chair as she asked, “How are you doing?”

“I’m alright.” Shuichi said honestly, glancing over at Kokichi, who was looking a little grim, before looking back up at her, “...thank you for speaking up. Sometimes I feel like I exaggerate the things I need from them. Ask too much…”

“You don’t. I’ve always wanted more for you. Like I said, you deserve extra attention. This year was incredibly hard on you.”

Shuichi sighed lightly at that, “It was hard on all of us…”

“Fuck that. It was hard on you.” Maki whispered, “I chose to do every difficult, awful thing that happened to me this year. Kaito felt like he was fulfilling a purpose. Kokichi actually was fulfilling a purpose. You? You made one mistake, and shit was just hard from then on. At a point where, forget your ‘second puberty’, you were supposed to be a free citizen for the first time, this year. You can feel cheated out of your chance to experiment and grow. You were.”

Shuichi smiled wanly at that, appreciating Maki’s somewhat pushy support. “...I’m happy.” He told her softly.

“If I didn’t think you were, we wouldn’t be here.” Maki told him simply. “A lot of things would have been different, if I didn’t think you were happy. You’re not actually trapped, and you never just have them. You know that, right?”

Shuichi nodded, “...thank you.”

Maki nodded, before pushing off his egg, watching it swing back and forth as she said, “I gotta go bully my knife back from Kaito.” As she headed over to him.

Shuichi watched her go, and taking her example, looking to Kokichi. “... you look upset.”

Kokichi looked over at Shuuichi and smiled softly. “...you know how much I hate violence. Even talking about things that have been resolved…I guess pairing that with hypotheticals is getting to me.”

“...I’m sorry for how hard things have been this year,” he said softly, his smile dropping. “And I know at this point…those are just words. But I really do want to do right by you. I’d give you the world, if I could…I should do more than enjoying our time platonically, by happenstance.”

“I know it’s not exactly fair, but…thank you for your patience. You shouldn’t have to be.”

“You didn’t do it on purpose, Kokichi. Honestly, until Drake pointed it out to me? I didn’t even realize what I was doing, and this therapy session has made me realize why I’m acting out like that.” Shuichi admitted. “It’s not fair to blame you, or Kaito, entirely, when I didn’t even know what was wrong either. I’ll admit, I have new sympathy for Kaito saying ‘I feel stupid that all I really want is an atta boy’, or however he put it. It can be both… liberating and humiliating, realizing how small the thing you really want is, and how badly it’s affecting you, not having it.”

“What you want is also, comparably, fairly small.” Shuichi mused, “At least in Dicea it is. You really were very unlucky, that you got us three. We’re not the easiest people to get to know or be a family with, for a pacifist. I suppose just thank you for your patience as well. We’re…” Shuichi smirked, shrugging tiredly, “A lot.”

The small smile returned. “I like having a lot. Even if sometimes I struggle to hold it.”

“...I’m really excited for our date, now,” Kokichi grinned a little more. “I mean, I was since we first discussed going, but committing to the plan… I gotta see if they’re having an official tasting soon, or if I should just ask around for touring dates… Kinda wish I knew more about cooking, since I heard their mushroom business is really boomin’ too--it would be cool to bring some home and have a cooking night together again.”

“But probably not that night. I wanna take you to a nice restaurant!” he declared, puffing himself up a bit. “Though…what sort of place would you wanna go to? Can just be something to think on, if nothing comes to mind.”

Shuichi’s smile brightened, genuinely caught up in Kokichi’s brainstorming as he mused, “Perhaps we could bring home the mushrooms and have Kaito cook us something with it the next day? They could probably keep for a day, and it’d be fun to watch him try. You can assist him if you want, I will simply supervise you both and offer helpful commentary like ‘that smells burnt’.” Shuichi laughed.

“As for restaurants… I mean…” Shuichi looked a little coy, smirking at Kokichi as he said, “It’s going to be our first date. We should go somewhere nice… oh! Who was it who told me about it… I think it was Nadya who mentioned to me once the sort of restaurant where cooking the food is its own sort of show? Like, the chefs cut the food and cook it in front of you, it’s a very specific style, I wish I could remember what it was called… teppanyaki? Does that sound familiar?”

Kokichi giggled a bit. “I mean, commentary like that is invaluable. I trust Kai-chan’s expertise in the kitchen these days, but…really, how does anyone keep track of that much stuff at once? It’s crazy.”

At Shuuichi’s restaurant suggestion, Kokichi’s eyes lit up and went wide, his egg swinging lightly as his whole body got in on the excitement. “Oh! Oh, yeah, oh my gosh… That would be incredible! I’ve never been to, like, a proper teppanyaki place before… Totally, let’s plan on it! I’ll start looking into reservations when we get home! …though I’ll need to align it if we schedule stuff for the vineyard…”

Humming to himself, Kokichi’s eyes went far away as he started working out the logistics for their date in his head. Probably look at the vineyard events first, then see if good teppanyaki places had reservations days in advance, and then if those dates align, work out the timing within the day, then book a carriage, and…hm, should he ask someone to drive them? Kokichi didn’t think he’d drink that much, but it could be something fun for them to do together, and it was a horrible idea to drink and drive…

“...would it be too weird if Nazumi came with us?”

Shuichi shook his head, “I sort of always expect Nazumi to go. I know there’s far less danger here these days, now that the cult stuff has seemed to die down entirely, but it does make me feel better to have someone watching out for us. I’d be able to relax more, if I’m honest.”

Pausing at that, Shuichi thought about it… “But I plan to be full on date mode. I mean Kaito levels of flirty! That’s the goal! So… your aunt is just going to have to live with that, I’m afraid.”

Dr. Mariah, making a show of reading through her journal to not appear to be eavesdropping, smiled lightly at that. For as much drama and trauma they had to shift through in these sessions, she did like to see Kokichi and Shuichi acting exactly how Shuichi had been hoping: two young men planning out a date, excited about it. It was sweet. One of Dr. Mariah’s rare glimpses of the truly positive sides of the relationship, why they all worked so hard for it. 

…she glanced up past them, at the other side of the roof, and sighed, “Kaito just give her back the knife!”

Kaito, who had been holding the knife waaaaay above his head, clearly trying to goad Maki into finding more and more ways to reach up and grab it, startled like the damn called out child he was. It was too late though, because Maki took that moment to jab him in the side with two of her fingers, and he collapsed onto the ground with a thud, the wind knocked out of him as he groaned, Maki picking up the knife and, with a twist of her wrist, it disappearing somewhere on her person. She headed back to the eggs, getting into her own as she said simply, “He’s fine.” as Kaito coughed in the distance. 

Nodding, Kokichi half-shrugged. “Thought I’d ask, at least. Aunty is really good about giving me the space to…I guess not feel like I have a bodyguard watching me at all times, while still having the security that that brings. Though! With her going, I can ask her to drive us, so there won’t be any worries about getting home after we’ve been drinking.”

“Aaaaand I think she can deal with it,” Kokichi giggled, winking though a flush came over his face at the thought of Shuuichi getting as flirty as Kaito. “I’ve teased her for years about flirting--that’s probably recompense for some of my own. Even if she is nice enough to hold off until we’re not on a date anymore.”

Looking up as Dr. Mariah called out to Kaito and Maki, Kokichi could only sigh as Maki took the clear opportunity presented to her. Carefully, and despite her assurance that, genuinely, he did believe, Kokichi extricated himself from his egg and trotted over to Kaito’s hunched form, reaching out to rub his husband’s back. “Were the taunts worth it?”

Cough, cough… “She’s… she’s so short.” Kaito rasped, weakly laughing into the asphalt, “I just wanted to make her jump for it…so, yeah,” cough! Blegh, “K-kinda?”

Still chuckling to himself a little, Kaito straightened up, taking in a deep breath and grinning up at Kokichi, “Come on, I gotta get my being tall kicks somewhere. You know what being tall gets me? I gotta reach for all the high things, and I gotta carry the heavy stuff. You shorties don’t know what it’s like up here.”

Kokichi could only shake his head, though a fond smile brightened his face. “Mmm, there is one severe disadvantage, though. I gotta put in serious work if I wanna give you a kiss. That’s something that could almost make me long for height. Almost.”

As good as it felt, though, this wasn’t the time for flirting. Breaks were important, but they were still paying for their time, so Kokichi simply gave Kaito’s arm a quick hug before leading him back over to the chairs, taking up his glass of lemonade again. “That’s about five minutes, then?”

Dr. Mariah glanced at her pocketwatch, “......that’s about five minutes.” she said, looking up to see everyone settled back down in their chairs, Kaito still looking amused from Maki and Kokichi, Shuichi looking notably brighter, and Maki at least looking no more exasperated than when the session had started. “Everyone in a good headspace? I want to talk about the boundaries thing next. It might lead back to some of the things we just discussed, but I don’t want to lose it entirely as we move forward.”

“We’re actually in a pretty decent place there. We talked about it among ourselves,” Shuichi explained, “But, ultimately the new boundary discussion was all of us agreeing to no bring anyone else sexually into our relationship. I think there was some concern that I would want to watch Kaito feed more people–”

“Which, by itself, is not a bad thing.” Kaito interrupted, looking to the others, and very specifically Maki, as he stressed, “I wasn’t hurt. The feeding people thing itself is not a problem, just so we’re all clear on that. It was just… well, Shuichi watching and wanting to ride my bones from it.”

“Ride your… that’s a terrible euphemism.” Shuichi frowned, “I’m almost not even mad you said it at all, because I’m too busy being disappointed you said it like that.”

“So the issue was that someone else made you sexually arroused, Shuichi?” Dr. Mariah clarified, “Though you weren’t in a sexual situation.”

“Not a… explicitely sexual situaton.” Shuichi clarified hesitantly, “But it proved to be very sexual for me, specfically.”

Kokichi snorted at the phrasing, though he agreed with Shuuichi that it was just awful, though he sighed softly. “Honestly…after this time, and you finding out that it gets to you? I wasn’t really worried about you vying for it again, or asking Kai-chan to feed other people. You weren’t purposefully crossing our and your friend’s boundaries setting it up, and you knew, even if we hadn’t discussed it yet, that you had crossed them once it happened. For me…talking about it was just making all that clear, along with my expectations. Even if I was more alright opening our relationship more, I don’t think that’s something you’d jump at the chance to start planning for.”

“And…” Kokichi paused, thinking about what Dr. Mariah had said. “You said that you weren’t attracted to your friend. It was just that…Drake contributed to a situation that…enticed you, even if all those feelings were solely focused on Kai-chan. And…for me, that’s close enough to be uncomfortable, and you guys said that, at least similarly, you felt the same, right?”

Shuichi nodded, “Yes.”

Kaito frowned. “...well, no. But I respect it.”

Maki looked to Kaito at that, raising an eyebrow, “I heard you lost your temper over it.”

“No. Me getting a little hot under the collar isn’t me losing my temper.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes, “Me hitting a wall or screaming is. And, we talked about this that day too. I’m okay with a lot more things than you guys are. I restrain myself out of respect for you guys.”

Dr. Mariah hummed a bit, crossing her legs at the ankles, “So the sexual situation was close enough to involving another person to make Shuichi aware he had gone too far and Kokichi uncomfortable. But if that wasn’t what bothered you, Kaito, what part did?”

“That Shuichi picked who the other person was going to be without keeping me in mind.” Kaito said plainly.

“...keeping you in mind?” Dr. Mariah asked, “Not asking?”

Kaito paused, thinking of his own wording… “Well, yeah. I mean, asking is good too. But I’ve never shown any attraction to Drake, and I think I even admitted at a few points that I’m not attracted to him. Which, I know, stop the presses.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes a little, “I don’t want to just be pointed at someone and told ‘go do sexy stuff’. I have personal standards and just because they're a lot looser than everyone else's doesn’t mean they don’t exist, or shouldn’t be accounted for. I don’t owe anyone sexy anything.”

“Hm.” Dr. Mariah hummed. Wanting to poke at that– she remembered Kaito going over his personal sexual history, and she also remembered there had been a lot of ‘point and go’ in those relationships– but not actually sure if it would be helpful for the group or her just wanting to satiate her curiosity. It was a very basic mindset, not wanting to be assumed you were going to sleep with anyone you were told too, to the point where Dr. Mariah doubted most people had ever seriously had to question their own standing in it. But for Kaito? That was actually a fairly huge shift. She wondered what had happened…

“...so, for Drake.” Dr. Mariah said, resisting the urge to sigh in disappointment as she went towards the actual problem. “Shuichi, you are confident there was no desire to add him to the relationship? It’s alright to desire things that you know you can’t have, but it’s healthy to be honest about those desires. Was there any?”

Shuichi shook his head confidently, “Let me describe Drake a little. He’s intelligent, soft spoken, a little surprisingly cocky in certain situations and a wilting flower in others, he dresses semi-formally regularly and he finds detective work fascinating. Who does he sound like?”

Dr. Mariah smiled, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be friends with someone you have a lot in common with. But, yes, I can see ‘proxy’ ideas there.”

“I also just trust him.” Shuichi admitted, “To the point of being unkind, maybe. He’s so… harmless. Forget him taking advantage of Kaito in the situations I put them in, I’m more worried about him tripping and accidentally breaking his arm instead. And apologizing the whole time for it.”

“You say that like Kaito didn’t come back from that date in a panic feeling like a screwup.” Maki said, “I’m still not convinced Drake wasn’t fishing for information about you all.”

Kaito frowned at that, “...I don’t think… we’re not talking about that. I mean–”

“You’re allowed to say that Drake triggered your phobia and then just kept pushing when he did it.” Maki pointed out dryly.

“...basically what happened, yeah.” Kaito told Dr. Mariah, “Big misunderstanding.”

Kokichi grimaced a bit. “Yeah, sorry, I phrased that poorly. While Shuu-chan and I are, in a blanket sense, wholly uncomfortable with adding other people into our relationship, your issue is not having a say, or being considered, about who that other person would be. Though…the fact that you and Drake were doing it unknowingly was an issue too.”

But Shuuichi hadn’t known either, so…it was a mistake he had already apologized for. 

Snorting softly as Shuuichi described Drake in similar terms as to how he’d describe himself, Kokichi shook his head with a little sigh. “I wouldn’t use the term harmless, exactly, though…you do know Drake better than I do, Shuu-chan. He’s kind, and well-meaning, and while those things can pivot into danger…he strikes me as the kind of person willing to stick around through that danger and make up for his mistakes.”

“I’m happy that he’s your friend, but I don’t want to date him. And I’ve never noticed you wanting anything more from him either.” Kokichi shrugged a little. He’d…kind of lost the thread of what exactly they were talking about, but…well. All that was true.

Kaito nodded, “I mean, yeah, us doing it unknowingly is a dick move. But I was less worried about that, since Shuichi didn’t do that bit on purpose.”

“I didn’t do any of it on purpose, Kaito.” Shuichi sighed, “And, yes, we’re not dating Drake. No one is dating Drake. Even if Drake himself was interested, which just so everyone is clear and there’s no misunderstandings, he very much wasn’t, I wouldn’t want to date him either. Or have any of you date him… beyond, okay, yes, the fake-friend date I sent you on with him Kaito. But that was an honest mistake on my end too, that wasn’t me picking a partner for you. I was feeling like I was struggling to connect with you when you were having a hard time, and I didn’t realize why I was feeling distant from you, so I just tried to fix the issue in a really roundabout way. Honest mistake.”

Maki scoffed. Drake was one of the sketchiest people in their lives right now, as far as she was concerned. She had never felt more obviously hunted. Not for blood, sure, but clearly for whatever it was Drake actually wanted. She couldn’t begin to guess what it was, but she was still convinced Kaito’s ‘date’ had just been one more aspect of it. But, that was a fight she was going to lose and she knew it. Shuichi was fond of this guy to the point of devotion, Kokichi liked to believe the best in people, and Kaito didn’t actually seem to care one way or another, convinced the family was safe around him at the very least. She honestly had no idea what her pseudo-brother saw in him that made him so willing to ignore all the red flags, but whatever. She’d just need to be ready if it all went wrong.

“Alright,” Dr. Mariah said, glancing between the group, before focusing on Kaito, “Kaito, that’s two sessions now, where you’ve expressed some doubt at the sincerity of your partners statements. Maybe we should explore that a little.”

Kaito’s face tensed lightly at that, “Do we have too? It’s not anything they don’t know already. I’m struggling with some trust stuff, I have been for a while. But I’m trying my best to move past it.”

“It’s good if you all have discussed that among each other, and it’s also good if you’re already working through it individually and as a group. I suppose this is me ‘checking in’ on it. How would you describe their reliability?”

Kaito frowned, “...that feels like a really loaded question.”

“Which probably means you have a really ‘loaded’ answer.” Maki pointed out, undisturbed as Kaito shot her a glare, “What? This isn’t new. You’ve been doubting all of our words on things since the Memorial incident. I think the last time you gave any of us the benefit of the doubt was when I told you my wall was an art project, and you even admitted later you didn’t believe that either.”

“I think accusing me of being paranoid and then referencing your secret murder wall as proof is…” Kaito grit his teeth, “Really dumb, Maki. All of us had a lot of really tough moments, this last year. I’m getting past it.”

“Sure, you’re getting past that.” Shuichi said, raising a slight eyebrow, “But we never end up obsessing over all the ways we’ve all looked after you too, I’ve noticed. Because all of us really have been trying with you, Kaito.”

Kaito’s anger drained a little at that, wilting a bit as he rubbed the back of his neck, “...yeah, I know that. I know, I’m sorry, I… I don’t mean to focus on the negative stuff.”

Kokichi nodded slightly at Shuuichi’s summation. He did believe it was an honest mistake, and Shuuichi and Kaito already knew that they needed to work on their communication. And Maki’s scoff…

She didn’t have to trust Drake, really. As far as he had seen, she wasn’t rude to him, and it wasn’t like she was trying to pull apart Shuuichi’s friendship with him, so…it wasn’t really an issue. At least not a pressing one. Maki could feel secure, being a pair of suspicious eyes on him, keeping them safe. Drake could one day earn her trust, without having to suffer just trying to live. 

And Kaito’s trust…

Kokichi sighed, looking a little weary again. Not so much because he was tired of having this conversation--that certainly wouldn’t be fair to Kaito--but…he still knew how far he had to go, to earn Kaito’s trust back. If he ever did. 

“People tend to have a negative bias,” Kokichi said softly, shrugging. “It’s a lot easier to focus on the bad stuff, while the good stuff just kind of gets lumped into a “normal” haze. It’s not to diminish the damage the bad stuff does, but…it does make it tend to feel like the bad is all there is, if you don’t take a dedicated look to remember the good.”

He sighed, running his fingers through the back of his hair. “...sorry, I don’t mean to…preach at you. We…I have betrayed your trust a lot, this past year. If you’re feeling hurt and betrayed and like you don’t want to extend that trust so easily again…that makes sense. I just…hope I have been reliable too. That my efforts aren’t…meaningless to you.”

Kaito frowned, looking a little alarmed as he quickly shook his head, “They’re not meaningless. You do a lot for me! All the time, in a thousand little ways, but in a bunch of big ways too. Getting my sentence lowered! Paying off my fine! Giving me space when it came to fighting Budd in the first place, I know you hated that and you never really, like… went out of your way to make me feel shitty about that. You’ve forgiven me for fighting with your family, you, fuck, you’ve never held the rapes over my head, which I think makes you basically a fucking Saint, honestly, you… god you let me get away with all sorts of terrible shit.” Kaito said, his brow furrowing slightly. Something troubled in his expression. 

“Kaito?” Dr. Mairah said, after the small pause went on too long.

Kaito blinked, before shaking himself out of it, “No, uh, I mean, there’s more stuff too. Honestly, I got a little caught up in my head because a lot of the stuff is Kokichi not holding things against me that he really… should have. Um… but this might just be me doing the ‘doesn’t understand how we both express being upset’ thing again. Like… Kokichi was too depressed to hold me accountable for things, sort of thing.”

“He forgave the desk thing, he was nice to my brother even though he hates the guy, he did say he was planning to tell me about the murder plots before they happened, suicidial episode or not, so he’d have risked the war to be honest with me eventually, which means a lot to me–”

“Tengan.” Shuichi pointed out.

“God, fucking all of that shit with Tengan. Honestly, a lot of ‘brain’ shit, since the guy who, uh, used to be Tengan showed up and Kokichi went running into my head to take care of that too. Tengan twice, basically. Not to mention Saint Madison, and… man, even with all that stuff, I feel like I’m not giving a good representation of the sheer amount of stuff he does for me. That’s given up for me. He’s literally promised to fight gods for me…”

“He basically put his own mental breakdown on perpetual hold because he was afraid you’d leave him over it.” Maki said idly.

“...I…” Kaito gave Maki a bewildered look, “What? No he… I wouldn’t fucking do that shit to him, what the hell are you talking about Maki?”

“You guys keep telling the memorial garden story over and over again,” Maki said, looking undisturbed,  just stating a fact, as she continued, “Doesn’t that fight basically end the second you pull the ‘divorce’ card?”

“.......” Kaito’s brow furrowed, going over that night in his mind, before looking at Kokichi, “Did you stop arguing with me because I said we should get a divorce?”

Kokichi really tried to do right by Kaito. For all of the pain and disregard throughout his life, to the same hurtful things that Kokichi did himself. Kaito was forced to come to Dicea, had been presented with the non-option like he was…throwing his life away for the good of Luminary. He’d been forced into a nation with values completely different and often directly counter to his own, and had been given no help for far too long. 

Kokichi knew it wasn’t all his fault, and that he hadn’t ruined Kaito’s life. But that deep, burning urge to try and make up for everything as if it was still gnawed away at him, at times. Someone he loved shouldn’t have to bear so much pain. 

Frowning sadly as Kaito listed out all the things Kokichi tried to do for him, the expression deepened into an uncomfortable look at Maki’s point. “I mean…I think a big reason we stopped is ‘cause I was losing feeling in my limbs. And, I mean…”

He shrugged, looking even more uncomfortable. “...I guess you could see it that way? To me, it was like…we both said we didn’t want to get a divorce so…we couldn’t argue forever. It was more like running out of steam, I think…”

There was still something troubled in Kaito’s expression, though he nodded a little at that. “Yeah, basically. Kokichi was freezing and sick, we were both just… so fucking exhausted by the end of that fight. Thankfully Seiko helped us, I was able to get Kokichi home safely, though he was out of it for a while… I went and got wasted…” Kaito sighed, rubbing his temple a little, “It was fucking Shuichi’s first damn doctors appointment that day, we had phenomenaly dropped the ball with that. More me than Kokichi, but… well, yeah.”

Maki shrugged again, “It just always sounded like Kaito had dropped the ‘D’ word and the fight immediately ended after that. Which is a little stupid from my end. Neither of you are ever going to leave each other.”

Kaito frowned, “Maki, we both had some days, okay? Kokichi and I being together right now isn’t a coincidence, it was a choice we both made a few times. I know I definitely thought about leaving Kokichi, and I’m certain he felt the same way about me.” Kaito looked to Kokichi, before clarifying, “Or at least kicking me out, anyway. The treaty makes it tough on us, but Kokichi could have fucking sent my ass to the other side of the castle and stopped speaking to me, if he wanted too. You had to have been tempted. I’d have been tempted.”

It had been…really dumb. If Kokichi could’ve held it together a little more… But he knew that wasn’t entirely fair to himself. He had been under a scary amount of pressure, and without being able to relieve it…it wasn’t just a matter of will, that he cracked. Kokichi had needed help, and he hadn’t gotten it, and…and it wasn’t just his fault that he’d gotten sick. Still…it had been a bad situation all around. 

Horribly bad. 

…

Kokichi glanced away, his frown deepening as he put his arms loosely around himself. “...before…when you asked about letting Shuu-chan slap you, if you did something horrible… I didn’t want to think about that hypothetical. Because…even if you were horrible to me…I don’t think I’d be able to leave you, Kai-chan.”

“...the only times I’ve thought about giving you space was for if you wanted it. Kicking you out has…never been something I considered.”

Kaito frowned at that… before looking pointedly at Dr. Mariah. An air of frustration to him. “!?”

Dr. Mariah raised her thin eyebrows lightly, “Yes, Kaito?”

“Oh, come on.” Kaito said, pointing to Kokichi and insisting, “If I had said something like that, we’d spend the next hour deconstructing the word ‘considered’.  That’s… that’s not okay, right? That?”

Dr. Mariah tapped at her journal a bit, “Explain your thought process, Kaito. We’re not on the same page.”

“Okay, look, I know that I misunderstand what Kokichi says a lot and how he expresses grief and being upset and that I put the guy on a pedestal sometimes, but, like… it’s not me being delusional or having a martyr complex when I say I have been a nightmare to Kokichi, at times! Like, an actual nightmare! And yes, I know we experience anger differently, but… he doesn’t hold me accountable! Kokichi just lets me treat him like garbage and then we move on!”

“Kokichi does have his own way of handling crisis, and you two disagree fairly often. You come in discussing new fights and disagreements all the time.” Dr. Mariah pointed out.

“Sure, like… months later! And it’s usually me complaining about everything, Kokichi’s had to apologize to me a thousand times during these sessions, but we rarely get into all the ways I’ve been an asshole to him. That’s… weird? Isn’t it?” Kaito said, looking at the group, floundering a little, “God, I cannot be the only one who sees this. We’re letting Kokichi get away with being shitty to himself, again!”

Dr. Mariah considered Kaito a moment, before looking to Kokichi, “...I keep being the one to say that when Kaito makes somewhat frenzied statements like that, it’s never coming from nowhere. So, while I don’t see anything more pressing than the usual co-dependency issues we all have been over together… Kokichi, why don’t we explore this a bit.”

“If only to keep Kaito from literally jumping out of his seat.” Maki said.

“God, you guys make me feel like I’m talking nonsense, but I’m not. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, everyone lets Kokichi get away with this. He does all this self-destructive shit, or shit he hates, and no one calls him out on it.” Kaito grumbled.

They’d had this conversation before, Kokichi was sure. Down to the exact point Kaito was making about Kokichi being self-destructive and no one doing anything about it, while Kaito could make a totally innocuous statement in therapy and they’d spend the next half-hour talking about it. Kokichi could admit they did spend a lot of time working through Kaito-focused issues, but…well, he needed the help, and they needed the help. 

…and he really had been trying to hold his tongue less. 

Sighing softly, Kokichi gave a light shrug. “I mean…you have treated me poorly before, Kai-chan. But…I think for everything, you’ve apologized. For the stuff I could forgive right away, I did, and for the more difficult things…you’ve put in work to grow past the person who made those decisions, and I honor that effort. And I’ve worked on my own feelings too, so eventually I could accept the apologies for those too.”

“I know we don’t exactly feel the same, but…I really don’t feel like I’ve ‘let you get away’ with anything, at this point,” he looked over sadly. “You’ve owned up to yourself. There’s nothing more than that I want so…I don’t feel like there’s anything more to push about the issue.”

Looking down at the pond, Kokichi frowned more. “...I can admit that…maybe feeling like no matter what, I can’t walk away from our relationship is a dangerous feeling. But…I want you in my life. I love you…I can’t imagine a future any differently.”

Dr. Mariah nodded, before turning to Kaito, “I’m afraid that really is the hope, when things like that happen, Kaito. Trying to push someone who’s found peace with something into crisis again isn’t the point of therapy, and it doesn’t seem like Kokichi is in denia–”

“Timothy.” Kaito snapped… before he suddenly looked ashamed. Glancing nervously at Maki, before back down at his own hands. Starting to wring them worryingly… before muttering something too low for any of them to pick up on.

Maki’s eyes narrowed though, bloodlust still obvious on her as clearly just the example and Kaito’s discomfort set warning bells off in her head. “What?”

“...” Kaito looked away, clearly regretting he had said anything at all, before murmuring, “...if I had been anyone else, Kokichi would have… said something about Tim… and the… all the stuff… I think… I… yeah…”

Kokichi glanced up at Kaito in confusion before his expression saddened again. “...I know it doesn’t exactly make you happy when I say stuff like this, but…fuck, Kai-chan. I wasn’t going to condemn a child to death, just for some…self-important sense of truth. I certainly wasn’t giving enough credit to my father and the others, when I decided to investigate with you guys secretly, but…my intentions were never going to place the culprit into mortal danger.”

“After I woke up, when Maki-chan and Shuu-chan told me what happened… I was in awe, the plan you made to save Tim and the other kids. I wouldn’t have sold them out, even if you weren’t you.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a pained, confused look… before wincing as he glanced at Maki again. Who had murder in her eyes. Absolutely furious with him. Kaito opened his mouth to say something, and noticed how dry his throat was, and nodding uncertainly, went to pick up the lemonade, taking a sip. “Oh, okay, nevermind then…”

Shuichi looked lightly puzzled. “Oh, I thought you meant the cuts and assassin training Timothy used to have all the time.”

“I’m sorry, the what?” Dr. Mariah said. “Cuts?”

“You are going to lose fingers over this, Momota.” Maki growled. 

“We don’t do it anymore!” Kaito insisted, looking over to Dr. Mariah urgently, “It’s not a thing anymore! Maki and I have talked about it, I’ve talked to my own therapist about it, we’ve agreed we do not do that to Tim anymore. I just… it was different in Luminary, and it was different f-for indentured kids… I see how fucked up it is now, but it took us a minute to get there! And we stopped!”

Dr. Mariah frowned a bit, “...for how long has this sort of parenting ceased?”

“Basically since Maki got back from the war.” Kaito said, not mentioning that it had technically stopped when Maki left for the war. He had never laid a hand on the kid himself, not outside of pulling Timothy off of him from trying to stab him again, but basically as soon as Timothy had told him about Maki’s ‘farewell lesson’ Kaito had realized ‘Oh no, this shit is fucked, this is a problem’. “And it’s been a dead stop. We don’t do any of the assination training, we don’t do physical punishments… I mean, outside of one time I took Timothy running for a while when he insulted Kokichi, but I just wanted him to be tired, not hurt. And I was right next to him the whole time. And… look, I just know that we handled that poorly. Maki and I didn’t know what we were doing, Maki had never even been a mentor before, and, well… that’s how we were both raised. But this is one of those things I realized on my own was a problem. And I just… the only reason I brought it up was cause I can’t help but feel Kokichi would have told me it was problem too, if it was anyone but me. I… bring out the worst in the guy, sometimes.”

Kaito frowned, looking to Kokichi and saying with some guilt, “I haven’t always been very good for you, Kokichi. The fact that you hold back or, shit, maybe genuinely don’t see that sometimes? That’s what makes me worry.”

He could tell that…that wasn’t exactly what Kaito was talking about, but when Shuuichi spoke up, Kokichi’s eyes widened before a truly guilty, self-loathing expression came over his face. Because…yeah. That was an example of…

Kokichi closed his eyes, honestly feeling…kind of nauseous. “...there were other factors too. Since Maki-chan took Tim on through a process of Luminary law, and while he was going through the process of becoming a Dicean citizen…it was still a process, and the whole system about prosecuting foreign citizens was just a dumpster fire then…”

His shoulders dropped, as if the weight of his failure--not just for one of his people, but for a child--was crushing him. “...Tim didn’t speak to anyone but you three. He ran away from everyone who turned down the same hall. You all…kept saying that things were normal, that that’s just how Luminary was, and…you always looked so uncomfortable and stricken when we talked about differences, and…I just wanted to stop taking the things you loved away. Even if I thought they were wrong.”

“...I thought…Tim being taken away from the only people he trusted would be worse than saying anything,” Kokichi whispered, his voice growing strained. “...and I thought that you stopped hurting him a lot earlier than that. I just…didn’t see it.”

…Kokichi always loathed the thought of a leader letting personal biases cloud them into letting people be hurt. What kind of leader was he, if he let a child be abused in front of him because he was afraid of upsetting people? What kind of monster…

Now Kaito looked even more alarmed, stammering, “No, that’s not… that’s not what I mean, I just mean… I’m not asking you to justify it, you didn’t do anything wrong–”

Dr. Mariah shook her head. Interrupting, “No, no. This is worth exploring, Kaito. He did do something wrong. I believe that’s the point you’ve been trying to make, isn’t it? That Kokichi goes against his own morals in regards to you?”

“...no! No, you’re making it sound weird. I meant that Kokichi doesn’t treat himself right, because of me, and… doing shit like that? I mean, look at him!” Kaito said, gesturing in Kokichi’s direction, “Look at his face! Kokichi’s a good person to his core, he hates doing the wrong thing or even, like, not entirely the most brilliantly pure right thing. He doesn’t like being around people who do shitty things either! But he just lets it go for me, and I don’t understand why I can’t get that through to you.”

“I’ve never heard of Kokichi acting in a immoral or self-destructive way that can be blamed on you, Kaito.” Dr. Mariah explained, pausing as she said, ”And I don’t know if I still have. While, yes, you shouldn’t harm a child, physically or otherwise, and I believe that’s a common philosophy in most any part of Dicea, Kokichi,” She said, focusing her attention on the young Ouma, “You can’t take blame for the actions of others. We’ll start with that… but. It does seem out of character for you to not even recognize the issue there. Kaito might actually be correct in this, in the sense that this is a group problem worthy of discussion, if there is a pattern of behavior of you choosing your relationship with him over other priorities as a given.”

Dr. Mariah paused, thinking about it… “I want to do a small exercise. Kokichi, if you don’t mind. Keeping in mind that this is entirely hypotheticals, that Kaito does not have to be capable of the action for it to count towards the exercise… what would you leave Kaito for? What would he have to do?”

Kokichi’s expression soured. “...I can’t blame myself for others’ actions…but I can for my own inaction. And for not prioritizing one of the most vulnerable people I knew, at the time, even if he would prefer not to talk to me.” His father managed to speak to people that hated him all the time, after all. Consent to rule through love was one of the better forms of trust, in Kokichi’s opinion, but there would always be opposition, and you had to know how to care for them too. Creating an exclusionary cult of a nation just…wasn’t feasible, if you wanted to be able to protect everyone. 

Looking a little wounded at the hypothetical, Kokichi sighed, really not wanting to think about this…but he could try. …he didn’t have it in him to leave Kaito if he raped him again. His trust would be forever wounded, but…he couldn’t. So what…

“...if he murdered Shuu-chan,” Kokichi mumbled. “Though…I guess the legal system would interfere more, than me just quietly leaving, in that situation.”

“Ha.” Shuichi said dryly, “I can’t do weird sex things to Kaito, but he can’t murder me. So there.”

“...” Kaito gave Kokichi a small, pained look, “Babe, it should take more than the guards literally ripping you away from me for you to leave me… you know that, don’t you?”

Kokichi sighed, looking a little helpless. “...I guess? Like…of course, conceptually I know that. Being unable to leave a relationship is a big warning sign. But…”

Kokichi’s face crumpled a little as he looked into the koi pond. “...but the thought of either one of us leaving, just… It feels like the worst thing in the world.” It felt like there was a void in his chest that crushed him, like he wouldn’t be able to survive Kaito leaving. But…that wasn’t the kind of thing you could say to a partner.

Dr. Mariah gave a quick taste to the air, opening her mouth and breathing in. 

Kaito was hurt and worried. Kokichi was damn near devastated at even the hypothetical. Shuichi was a little worried but unsurprised. Maki was just unsurprised. Neither of the ex-indentured’s caught off guard that this in particular was an issue for Kokichi. So this was something that had been happening for a while then… it wasn’t that Dr. Mariah had just been dismissing what Kaito had been saying about this before. But it had always felt a little bit like the tallest of them had felt guilty, for how much focus they gave him during the sessions. Looking for reasons to give the attention and focus to Kokichi. So, yes, Dr. Mariah may have thought he was reaching… a little bit…

But the thing was, Kokichi didn’t do well, under the spotlight of these sessions. He tended to speak the most when it came up naturally, during other peoples issues. So Dr. Mariah tried not to force it to just be about Kokichi, too often. But this needed talking about, and she suspected if she asked Kokichi directly, he’d admit it was a problem, apologize for its inconvenience, and lose steam to discuss it any further from there.

So, in the pursuit of getting him to open up, Dr. Mariah looked to the rest and asked, “Let’s see if there’s any patterns here… Maki? For the group as a whole, what would it take for you to leave these three behind for good?”

“Well, Kaito’s sure tempting me, using our kid to make a point and putting us in potential danger if you take it the wrong way.” Maki said cooly, glaring at Dr. Mariah. Her point unsaid but very clear.

“...it seems counterproductive, to report abuse that has stopped happening. But, I strongly encourage you both to remember that eyes are on you, and that includes my own. There will be consequences for slip-ups.” Dr. Mariah said, looking back at her just as cooly… before saying softly, “We should discuss it more in our personal session, Maki. I don’t actually blame you. We just need to be sure to keep an eye on it.”

Maki took a deep breath… before letting it out. Nodding stiffly. “Otherwise? My standard doesn’t feel particularly high, but it also doesn’t feel likely. They’d have to be consistently cruel to myself or any of the children in my life. Or Shuichi. I don’t want to spend all of my time with assholes and I haven’t. If they made my life miserable being a part of it, I’d go.”

“Okay. Shuichi?” 

“... I think I might feel similarly. I think I’d just have to be consistently miserable with them. But if you mean, like, a single action that by itself is a deal breaker?” Shuichi mused, “I want to say if someone were to beat me, but Kaito has beaten me before, and I didn’t want to leave him for it. The suicide incident back in highschool we discussed. He’s never done anything like that since, so I suppose one explosive incident wouldn’t make me leave him… but if it was consistent? I suppose what I mean is if either of them became regularly abusive, I’d leave… honestly? If either of them had handled the pregnancy poorly, I would have left. Maki and I even discussed it, at one point, when Kaito was on the pollen. If that pollen result came out negative, and that was just how he was treating me during a mental breakdown… I was going to leave him. And I would have likely left Kokichi too, if trying to only date one of them was too difficult. How Kaito treated me in that moment was a deal breaker… but it didn’t seem like him and I couldn’t really convince myself he was in control of his actions. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt.”

Dr. Mariah nodded, “That’s actually fairly healthy. Peoples actions in an altered state can be held against them, but that’s only if that altered state was their own doing, or part of a greater pattern of abuse or neglect. Kaito being drugged and lashing out isn’t the same as Kaito taking drugs and lashing out. Or just lashing out in that manner because he didn’t feel good. Having that boundary clear in your mind is good. And, while I can’t say the same for the incident in high school… it was a one time thing, and you also weren’t dating then. Still not a good action for a friend, but the fact you were still essentially children is another point of leeway. And this is true for both of them? Kokichi and Kaito?”

Shuichi nodded, “I wouldn’t let Kokichi abuse me either. Which thankfully has never been so much as a question with him.”

She turned to Kaito next, “Kaito?”

“...ah, shit.” Kaito muttered, looking away and pausing for a moment. “...it doesn’t change anything, this isn’t about me.”

“Indulge me.”

“....fuck.” Kaito said under his breath, before shrugging. Looking visibly annoyed as he said, “Kokichi already did the thing I said I’d break up with him for. I even told him that. And when he did it, I realized there was no real way I was going to leave him for it. So… no, I wouldn’t leave him for keeping another stupid, invasive, important secret from me about him or us or our family or even our kid… I guess. And if we’re allowed to say things that wouldn’t happen? Then Kokichi harming our kids. Like, either screwing them over or harming them himself. That’d be my limit…” Kaito winced, “I think. I mean, it’d have to be, right? That’d have to be my limit… it’d have to be.”

It was a good thing, to have those boundaries. No one was ever obligated to stick around someone who harmed them, or even someone that just didn’t make them happy. It was a healthy mindset to value and respect yourself enough to get yourself out of a bad situation. 

Maki valued herself and her siblings--she wouldn’t tolerate any disrespect or harm. Shuuichi held himself in high-regard, though he was willing to take a second look at things when they were important to him too. Kaito…often said he couldn’t leave. But he adored their kids, and he couldn’t bear for them to go through even a fraction of what he had in childhood.

Kokichi…

Something…far away, and almost dead glazed his eyes as he watched the ripple of the koi pond. 

“...when I was being kidnapped…” he started softly, voice barely loud enough to carry to the other side of their circle, “...Brent, the son, was trying to argue that it didn’t look like I was being abused. That Kai-chan and I looked happy together. And…the mom said that it was just a classic maneuver. Have small moments of kindness, like taking me out to a fair, to have me doubt the…whatever they thought you were doing to me.”

“You weren’t abusing me. And you haven’t. Maybe…for our kids’ sake, or for Shuu-chan or Maki-chan, I’d be able to leave… But…as long as you were still kind sometimes…I don’t think I would leave, even if you were horrible every other moment.”

Kaito expression turned grim at the topic of Brent. The guy, and his family, was dead… but Kaito had never let go of what they did anyway. Always felt that resentment when they came up… but he knew Kokichi felt differently about them. So he tried not to wear his resentment too plainly. 

And even worse than that, was hearing them make a point he agreed with, and hearing Kokichi say something so terrible.

“...I hate that.” Kaito said softly. “I hate that with every fiber of my being. You don’t deserve to be treated kindly, sometimes, Kokichi… you deserve the world. You deserve better than that hypothetical. Fuck, there are days where I’d argue you deserve better than me. Kokichi…”

Kaito grit his teeth, clenching his fists and looking away as he said, “I’ve worried about that so much. So fucking much. Cause, like… fuck, Kokichi, I was forced onto you and then forced onto you, and you had literally just turned into an adult and you never dated before and you didn’t seem to have any fucking idea how valuable you were. Are. Beautiful and fun and intelligent and high ranking and ambitious and so fucking kind… you were perfect. Even in your worst moments, you seemed so perfect… god you made me feel… charming. And handsome and put together. You looked at me with this… awe. So much and so fiercely that I actually started to believe my own damn hype. And then I hurt you… and found out that I had been hurting you. The whole damn time, and you just… didn’t want to say it…”

Kaito put his head in his hands. Grasping his bangs a bit and gritting his teeth, “Fuck, I hate it. I hate it. Fuck I wish you could see you the way I do. You look at me like the sun… I don’t understand how you can’t see how much you dwarf me… how you deserve so much more.”

“I’m sorry,” Kokichi said quietly, tucking his legs against himself in his egg. “I know it’s not fair to any of us, for me to feel like that. I deserve the dignity of valuing myself more, and you deserve a partner and a friend that won’t let themself be mistreated.”

“...I know it’s not alright. But…the thought of you not being in my life…makes me feel like I wouldn’t have a life at all. Like the world would just…cease to be…”

Kokichi blinked a few times, his eyes growing shiny. “...I was so lonely, before we met. I know it was my own issues that kept me from seeing the people right in front of me…but caught in my own bullshit? I so desperately wanted a friend. And then you came along and…yeah, sometimes things were scary or stressful…but you were still there for every moment. And you always extended a hand to me and…for the first time in a really long time, I felt like…I could live again.”

“And even being in a better place, and having friends, and having purpose…it feels like if you’re not there, everything will go back to how it used to be. And I can’t do that again.”

Kaito leaned his elbows against his knees, giving Kokichi a long, tired look, before glancing at Dr. Mariah. “?”

Dr. Mariah gave it some thought. She hadn’t intended to say anything yet, but if Kaito was looking to her for help… “As far as group communication goes, you all are actually already in the process of doing everything I would recommend. You all are actively in therapy, you pursue your own interests and hobbies, you have social groups outside of each other. In terms of Kaito and Kokichi specifically, the sheer fact that Maki and Shuichi are both here means you are capable of reaching out and establishing relationships and activities outside of each other.”

“And it helps that you two are aware this mentality is a problem. Both Kokichi is recognizing it in himself, and Kaito in not wanting to foster or take advantage of it. For a situation like this? This situation, as bizarre as it sounds… is fairly healthy. As far as managing a mental illness, goes.” Dr. Mariah looked to Kokichi, and said, “I know that’s a loaded word, and in truth I don’t have a right to use it for this context, because it’s something your personal therapist needs to diagnose and assign. That acknowledged? This is a mindframe that you struggle with, that does affect your actions, and needs to be managed… but you are managing it. And your group here, your family, wants to help manage it with you. And… that’s ideal. A strong support group that understands what is happening to you and is ready to face the challenges.”

“Beyond telling you to remain vigilant and keep communication on the subject going, to keep an eye on when things are getting worse and hearing Kokichi if and when he reaches out for help… the next steps are consistency and time.” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly at the disappointment on Kaito’s face, “I know. It’s the most frustrating news to hear, but that’s so often the real, honest answer. Choose healthy habits, be consistent, let time reward you. Kokichi, your self-esteem issues and codependency, I’m certain, are already being addressed by your personal therapist. For us, you just need to remember to keep your family updated in how you’re doing, and to utilize them as needed. Beyond that… honestly? Try not to give yourself a hard time about it. You really are already doing the best you can with it, and if Kaito’s given you the courage to start improving your social habits and your life? I think we should trust that it’s simply a jumping off point to you developing the self-esteem habits you’ll need for yourself.”

“...Now, if I was your personal therapist, I would make you keep a journal where you note in it the things you’re proud of you did that day and positive social interactions you’ve had, as a reminder that you’re life is full, with or without Kaito,” Dr. Maria said pointedly, “but I’m not. So… that’s merely a suggestion. Not homework.”

Kaito sighed, looking back to Kokichi. He wished there was more she could offer him… Kaito didn’t know what. He just knew he didn’t like Kokichi not valuing himself. He didn’t like that the most Kokichi would ever really demand of him was to be kind ‘sometimes’. Not always. Just enough. And he could be horrible for the rest of it…

“...I’m your prince-consort.” Kaito said, something suddenly stern in his expression. Almost glaring at Kokichi, as he said, “I know that doesn’t really mean anything to you. I know. But even if I didn’t love you, which I do. And even if I didn’t think you were amazing as all hell, which I do. Even if you weren’t perfect, which yeah, I do kinda think you are… I’m always going to treat you like a king, Kokichi. I might need correcting, sometimes, and I’ll always hope you’ll correct me when I falter, or that our family will, or that any of the citizens who love you will… but it’s my job to let you rely on me. Entirely.”

“Emotionally I wish you didn’t have too.” Kaito admitted, eyes downcast, “I fail so often… but as your prince-consort, I have an obligation to do whatever I can, for you. So… your faith in me is never misplaced. I swear it. I’ll never knowingly take advantage… and I’m sorry for everything I’ve said or done that has ever put that into question or made relying on me difficult. I just want to be good to you…”

Kokichi took a breath and nodded. He and Dr. Egami had discussed codependent habits Kokichi mentioned having with his family…but perhaps reiterating everything they were talking about now would…paint a clearer picture. One that might give way to a full diagnosis of something, like when Kokichi had been candid their first few months of sessions. He didn’t think there was a medicine that would…make him less clingy to his husband, but…maybe there were some exercises. 

Journaling he could give a try, at least. 

Looking up, Kokichi smiled softly through Kaito’s speech, though it tinged sad at the end. “You are good to me. More than just ‘sometimes’ kind moments--the vast majority of the time, you’re incredible, Kai-chan. I’m dedicated to our marriage because of the good things, not for fear of bad things coming without it.”

“...and I think the fact of me relying on you too much is…kind of the issue,” Kokichi sighed. “I know I haven’t always been honest with you about my thoughts…but I’ve been working for some time now not stifling myself. That hypothetical…isn’t what’s actually happening. Yeah…maybe I could demand better things for myself. But so often, it never feels like I have to, because you’re incredible without me even starting to think of a need.”

“I have faith in you, Kai-chan,” he smiled softly. “I think…I just need to have more faith in myself.”

Kaito lit up a little, at the mention that Kokichi often didn’t need to think of a need before Kaito had started taking care of it… before his face flushed, a little embarrassed as he caught Maki giving him a Look at that. Right, okay, shut up, he knew. Wanting to be Kokichi’s everything was also a bad thing. Whatever, so long as one of the needs Kaito knew Kokichi needed filling was not having to rely on Kaito for everything and having his own life and self-esteem, then it wasn’t a bad thing that Kaito wanted to fulfill that! He was certain!

Dr. Mariah glanced at the shadows cast off by the sun, and murmured, “Homework, homework… in truth? The best homework I could give today, is asking all of you to discuss what we spoke of today with your personal therapists during your private sessions. Shuichi, you need more discussion and room to speak when it comes to your feelings of missing out in the last year. Maki, we need to discuss your parenting techniques and where those ideas came from in your life. Kokichi, you need to discuss self-esteem and co-dependency exercises with yours. Kaito… I think you should also specifically discuss self-esteem with yours. You’ve been making strides in that, I honestly believe your insistence in being able to pick and choose your own partners, should it come to that, is a huge step in the right direction for you. But you also have some serious self-esteem issues that need personal attention.”

“Does that make sense to everyone? Everyone comfortable with that?” Dr. Mariah asked.

Maybe it would be baffling, to some, how the heir of the nation could possibly have self-esteem issues, when it was one of the most respected positions a person could have in Dicea, and was entirely picked because of the potential someone else saw in them. 

It wasn’t surprising to Kokichi, though. Not when, even knowing a third of his ancestors were literally himself, the shadow of expectation had always weighed him down just as much as it made him proud. Not when his birth had been an event of horror, and even from a young age he could see the conflict about it in the people closest to him. Not when so much of his life had been hidden away behind a bedroom door. 

But…his past didn’t have to dictate his future, and even his present wasn’t the same. He needed to acknowledge that, and respect it in his heart. Start actually making the people around him proud, by being able to keep his head high. 

One step at a time, at least. 

Taking a bracing breath, Kokichi wiped his eyes and gave Dr. Mariah a small nod. “Got it.”

-

Kaito had Kokichi’s hand, and Shuichi had Kokichi’s other hand, Maki to left of Kaito, as the four made a tight knit but very inconvenient walking home. Shuichi, who was the most self-conscious about being a moving barrier, moved as close as he could to Kokichi, holding his arm a bit, as he whispered, “We managed to talk about a lot, today.”

“Mmmhm.” Kaito hummed, less self consciously and actively looking around at the shops as Maki glanced up at him, “It was good though! I think anyway. Good enough that Dr. Mariah didn’t feel the need to reassure us we were making progress. It was obvious! We’re kicking ass!”

Given what they had started the session with, Kokichi had felt conflicted for a moment when his partners had taken each of his hands, but…well, it was nice they wanted to comfort him. He hadn’t actually started to cry, but Kokichi wasn’t exactly full of pep, as they walked home. 

And being in the middle kinda meant that he was least culpable for maneuvering, so he decided to put the wariness of blocking the walkway from his mind. 

“It does feel like we’re making a lot of strides,” Kokichi nodded, squeezing his guys’ hands. “It’s been a rough few weeks of sessions but…that’s a good thing, ultimately. Means we’re going places.”

“Hmm.” Maki hummed. 

“Something on your mind, Maki-roll?” Kaito asked, giving her a small pat on the back, “We didn’t really talk about any of your stuff. I hope we didn’t roll over anything you would have wanted to bring up.”

Maki shrugged, “Nothing in particular. In fact, a part of me was wondering how much longer it’d really be necessary for me to come to these. I know the four of us had a lot of issues because of the choices I made, but… well, it seems we’ve said what there is to say about all of that.”

“Ha. Bullshit.” Kaito said, giving her a grim look, “I fully intend to find some time at some point to bitch to you about half the things you did, this last year. You’re not getting out of it that easily. The dam’s been long broken, and I’m complaining about everything. All in good time.”

“Uh huh.” Maki said, rolling her eyes,  “You have other things you should be ‘complaining’ about in therapy. Plus, be ready today. We’re dancing. I have to give you some new trauma to work through.”

“...oof.” Kaito winced, taking his hand back, “Kay.”

“I don’t know if therapy would feel right without you there, Maki.” Shuichi said softly, “Both because you feel so a part of everything, and also… well. I guess I have things I want to talk to you about someday too. Just things I haven’t been able to get too… though I suppose maybe I could just talk to you in private, while we’re lamenting or hanging out. Doesn’t have to be therapy… but it’d still feel strange without you.”

Kokichi nodded, swinging Shuuichi’s hand gently. “I agree. There are issues that directly concern you, but also…you’re part of our family, Maki-chan. Even if we end up talking about something that’s mainly between two of us…most likely, you were there if there was an incident, and if not, we probably talked about it with you, and you have invaluable insight. Especially when it comes to helping us pull our heads out of our butts.”

Quiet for a moment, Kokichi’s lips turned down. “...I am sorry, though. For letting you and Tim down, before.”

“You didn’t let us down.” Maki said simply, “Reporting me, or us, to anyone would have been a disaster, and you knew it. It would have felt like persecution for our Luminary customs, and more important to me, my assassin lifestyle. How I was treating Timothy was how an assassin should be raised, in its most generous version, and I still believe that.”

“...but he’s not an assassin.” Kaito said softly. Leadingly.

Maki sighed, nodding slightly at that. “He’s not an assassin, and he’s not an indentured. By everything but proper title, he’s… nobility.”

“He should be a prince.” Kaito whispered, something frustrated in his expression. “That should be something I could give him.”

“Right. You can’t, and you shouldn’t, and you won’t.” Maki said sternly, shooting Kaito a strong look, “...but all of that means that he’s meant to be raised in a gentler way. A way unfitting for an assassin, but works for nobility. And, thankfully, that lines up well with how Dicea believes we should raise him too. Kaito and I just needed time to realize that.”

“So I don’t think you let us down. I think you were wise to give us space and time to come to that conclusion ourselves… and I’m going to tell Kaito what I think about suggesting otherwise, later.” Maki seethed.

Kaito glanced at her, before whispering to his partners, “If I come back with a broken arm, I ran into a door.”

“Understood.” Shuichi said quietly to him, before saying louder to Maki, “I need him whole to change diapers.”

“He’ll be able to change diapers.” Maki said simply.

Kokichi sighed softly. That had been some of his reasoning at the time. And…despite it lasting far too long, and the benefit he did want to give his family…he knew some of the castle staff and residents’ wariness of the immigrants was warranted. They were ‘enemy territory’. Kaito and Maki and Shuuichi, and so Tim as well, were facing down enemies constantly, and even the boldness to talk to them could sometimes be a threat. 

…but Kokichi had still allowed a child to be hurt in front of his eyes, and he’d said nothing. To him…that was still a failure, even if both the child and adult thought it was fine. Even if telling someone likely would’ve sent Maki and Tim out of the castle, on the run. 

Maybe Kokichi really had made the best decision he could…but he couldn’t call it the right decision. 

Nodding slowly, Kokichi looked up at Shuuichi. “Do you have Miya, then? I kind of wanted to get started working on planning things out for our date, but I can do it later if you wanted company, or there’s something else you wanted to do.”

“I can take little Miss Miyako.” Shuichi said, smiling fondly at both the idea of seeing her soon, and also the idea of Kokichi working on his date,  “But I’d love to hear about what you end up nailing down, details wise, when you’re ready to share it.”

“Little bit of dancing, then I’ll come back and take up baby duty for as long as anyone needs me too.” Kaito mused, bringing up Kokichi’s hand and giving it a small kiss on the back of his palm, “I’m really proud of both of you. Today was especially tough on you guys. I’m glad we talked about all of it.”

-

Kaito stretched out his arms over his head, before cracking his neck a little, sighing as Maki set up the music player. “So… how mad are you?”

“Go make sure the door is locked.” Maki said simply. 

“Damn, that bad, huh…” Kaito sighed, going to check the door. “...I know we were joking before, but you do know you can’t actually leave any marks on me, right? We can’t explain it to anybody. And it’d really upset Kokichi.”

Maki rolled her eyes a little, before huffing through her nose. Standing up and leaning against the mirror, raising an eyebrow as she crossed her arms, frowning at him. “...you do play favorites. You recognize that, don’t you?”

Kaito sighed, heading back over. “I’m in love, Maki.” he said, glancing at himself in the mirror, fixing his hair idly before pointing out, “And don’t pretend like I don’t make a thousand concessions for you and Shuichi too. Sure, I stopped sparring because Kokichi hates violence, but I’ve toned down how often I flirt with people and, frankly, how I have sex for Shuichi’s sake. And I still come in here and deal with our arguments as physically as we can, regardless of what either of them think. I know I’m changing a lot for Kokichi. That’s what I do. You and Shuichi just got used to how I do it for you, because we’ve known each other so long.”

“You used me ‘abusing’ Timothy as an example of ‘bringing out the worst’ in Kokichi.” She said. Her eyes glinting dangerously, “It wasn’t even brought up in private. What if Dr. Mariah had decided to take steps to separate me and Timothy?”

“...I think…” Kaito shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, “...Kokichi would have protected us. Which maybe proves my damn point, but no ones taking Tim from us, Maki. It didn’t feel dangerous when I said it.”

“You still took a risk with our family to support yours.” Maki said, glaring at Kaito’s hand, extended out to her as the music started up, before taking it, “That’s a problem.”

“I know. I realized the second I said it.” Kaito muttered, pulling her close to him and putting his hand on her hip, the song starting slow and going to stay slow. They liked to start here, because the song was slow enough to let them chat a bit, before higher tempo ones came on next. “I know that was a mistake, I know that wasn’t fair. But it wasn’t favoritism, it was me just… getting desperate. I worry about Kokichi. Sometimes Kokichi talks like he already knows exactly what he wants and what he needs, and listening to him makes him sound really put together… and that makes it harder to notice when he’s not taking his own damn advice.” Kaito sighed, frustration lining his face, “But he says all the right things, so everyone leaves him the fuck alone… it’s frustrating. I just don’t want Kokichi to be ignored or forgotten about because everyone just decided he’s ‘fine’.”

“That why you wanted him to start showing that temper you were so convinced he was repressing?” Maki asked, spinning lightly under his arm before heading back lightly against his chest, “To point it out and say ‘see, there is something wrong’?”

“It’d sure have fuck made it easier.” Kaito grumbled, “Turns out he was showing signs, I just didn’t recognize them… ugh, that’s so frustrating. What else am I missing?”

“You’re missing how pissed I still am at you.” Maki said, the dance slow and easy, “You know, I almost asked Shuichi to borrow his tasers again.”

Kaito stopped dancing at that. Shuddering. “...I have nightmares about that, Maki.”

“I’m not sorry.” Maki said simply, starting the dance up again.

“I know.” Kaito said, following the steps. Letting her take lead. “I’m not asking you to be. I’m mostly just saying I don’t think I could keep that hidden. It really affected me.”

“...” Maki sighed. Looking exasperated, before saying, “I’m not asking you to hide anything from them. We’re just dancing, Kaito, I didn’t go get the taser, I’m not going to stab you, and I’m not even going to ‘accidently’ throw you into that mirrored wall.”

“...you were totally going to do that before we had this conversation, weren’t you.”

“I’m allowed to daydream about things too.”

Kaito glanced at the massive mirror wall and chuckled a little grimly, “Getting the mirror replaced would be such a hassle. Also, concussions suck. I hate being tased and I hate concussions. Bad time, all around… but yeah, we can dance.”

The two moved quietly for a bit, the slow song still going, though it’d end soon. Kaito held his hand on the lower part of Maki’s back, following her steps as she swayed them. “... I know I’m different, Maki. Shuichi says the same thing. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay the same. Kokichi and Miyako being in my life required changes.”

Maki sighed, “Don’t apologize for changing. I’m not that pathetic. Just don’t risk this side of your family for the other one. Timothy is not your other kid. Understand?”

“Understood.”

-

Even if Saint Madison had been scarce, since Kaito started more clearly giving his consent for Kokichi to visit his mind, Kokichi still asked his husband if it was truly alright for him to come…even if Kaito had been the one to ask. Technically, Kokichi did know the steps of Flora Seclusion now, since…it was his brain and all, but Kaito had insisted, and…

…well, it was kind of nice. The parts of him getting their day, like they’d talked about. 

However, uh…

This wasn’t Nellis, and this wasn’t a setting from Kaito’s mind. Much like how Kokichi liked to set up tea in the Dicean castle’s east garden when he took guests in his mind, there was now a fine, soft blanket set out in a field of flowers, not dissimilar to what Shuuichi had set up for Kokichi’s birthday. On the blanket was a veritable spread of meats and cheeses and fruits and breads--a plate of very thin meat wrapped around an orange-colored melon, a small round of brie with apples and seeded crackers, figs and a type of salami, shreds of duck perched on baguette slices… Looked like a bottle of wine and some glasses were in the mix too. 

It was A Lot, but it seemed to match the woman smiling expectantly at Kaito, dimples softly pinching in at her cheeks. She looked…well, regal and refined, especially when compared to Nellis and Kokichi, her summer outing dress a light blue, matching the thin ribbons weaved into her braids, encircling her head like a crown. 

“Hello, Kaito,” Koharu smiled, gracefully gesturing to the cleared space on the blanket across from her. “It’s wonderful to properly meet you.”

…so… much food. Kaito looked at the massive, yet oddly delicate, spread in front of him, and he genuinely wondered if he had gone to bed hungry or if having food literally shoved into his head was making him hungry. He could feel himself drooling a little in the back of his tongue and swallowed hard, hoping he wasn’t drooling in his sleep as he reached out for a slice of the salami… before he snatched his arm back, realizing someone was sitting with him.

He gave the woman a briefly befuddled look… before mind logic– and it always took a second, things happening so surreally and suddenly in what Kaito was starting to consider ‘empath land’ that it could be difficult for Kaito to keep up, even when he knew what was happening– filled in that, no, he wasn’t dreaming, and no, Nellis hadn’t gotten a haircut. Hair extensions? This wasn’t Nellis.

…she was really pretty. Kaito, following her hand gesture, saw the spot she was offering and, giving a quick look around, sat down. Subconsciously following her posture, keeping his back straight, as he gave her a searching look, “...Um, of course. It’s wonderful to meet you too…” Kaito paused to let her introduce herself, but made a logical conclusion and realized if this wasn’t Nellis but, theoretically, was still Kokichi… “Your grace?”

Koharu laughed softly, though not unkindly. “Such address was more common in my time, and as such I do not take issue with it like my later compatriots. In a sense…you are still my husband, so I would not think titles needed, but if you would prefer to keep more of a separation between Kokichi and I, I will not be offended by formality.”

“Ah, but excuse me. I am Koharu Ouma.” The woman smiled, before offering a softer expression, something a little more personal. “There is much I am hoping we can talk about, but as a first matter…thank you for honoring my little sister with me. You might have been able to tell even from Kokichi’s reaction, but it means the world to me.”

Taking one of the glasses, Koharu tilted it towards Kaito. “Now, please eat as much as you’d like. Would you care for Antiqua Red? I have always found that conversation is best paired with good food, so please do not think you must restrain yourself.”

Kaito flushed a little at the idea of being this woman’s husband, ducking his eyes a little and rubbing the back of his neck. Nellis calling him pets names had felt weirdly violating, but that was because the man had admitted pretty early on that each pet name had been an insult he couldn’t follow through on. Thinking of this woman as Kokichi was… also a little strange, but far less repulsive to him, considering how gently she had offered the connection. He still didn’t know how he felt about it, but it was easier to think about, now. 

“Koharu Ouma…” It took Kaito a moment, but he lit up, “The Air Queen. I mean, not that that’s how people have titled you, it’s just how I remember you from that history book I read… if you’re certain it’s okay to call you so, then… of course, Koharu.” Kaito grinned, “Honestly, it was a lot of fun, honoring…Mariam! Hah! I remember when it matters.”

Chuckling a little, Kaito nodded his head, taking the offered glass and, with permission, enthusiastically taking an empty plate and grabbing not just some slices of sausage, but quite a few of the different foods offered, filling his plate but keeping it evenly balanced for presentation purposes, as he had been taught growing up in semi-formal settings. This technically wasn’t semi-formal, but he was in the presence of a Queen, and was not, currently, pissed or afraid of her, which made it easier for Kaito to remember his manners. She had a great presence, Kaito finding it easy to relax, in the unique way nobility and professionals relaxed next to each other. Proper, but not stressed about it. 

“I mean, you must remember how it went, so I’m not saying anything new, but once I was awake. Like, actually awake… it was really nice.” Kaito said, giving her a warm look. “Getting to honor yours and Kokichi’s family. Mariam sounded like a handful in the best kind of way, based on how Kokichi described her. She was lucky to have someone in her life who loved her so much.”

Koharu’s eyes lit up with mirth at the nickname. A new one, for her, but it made sense in the way many of Dicea’s monarchs gained monikers over the years. The Air Queen…it sounded like a character her sister would make up when they played pretend. That was something Koharu would wear with pride. 

Dicea had changed a lot, since the beginning of industrialization. In how Usott had grown and risen, technologies so fantastical they might’ve been called magic by humans, and, yes, in social attitude. Still, the nobility of her time didn’t sound as stratified as it currently sounded in Luminary, but…it seemed that some of the practices were the same. 

It was a fun novelty, getting to have a proper picnic like this. 

Laughing softly, Koharu’s expression grew warm. “And in turn, I feel blessed to have loved her. I love my children with all my heart, but…for much longer of my life, my sister was my pride and joy. No matter how much trouble she caused.”

Looking distinctly amused, Koharu shook her head a little, taking some food for herself, once she saw that Kaito had filled his plate. “I am no clairvoyant, but the thought does tickle me to think that Timothy and Miyako may turn out the same way. Like your son, I was much older when Mariam was born. I did have my duties as the heir, but, well, you could say I was charmed, when my fathers called me into the room. Suddenly the responsibility to my new sibling seemed much more important than whatever seemingly trivial thing I was learning in my classes.”

“Oh man, I really hope Timothy and Miyako end up like that. Tim’s already a good big brother, but as Miyako and he get older I really hope that they find ways to be close to each other. I grew up with an older sibling and someone that felt like an older sibling… well, you’d know, wouldn’t you.” Kaito laughed lightly, “But my point is that when things were good? Having siblings looking out for you felt amazing! I just want Miyako and Timothy to be able to count on each other, growing up… preferably how you and Miriam were close, rather than me and mine. But even if it’s just some of the nice moments in mine and just not the rougher stuff? That’d still be a win, to me.”

Pausing, Kaito considered what she had said… “Your fathers. Was one of them King Aiichi? I mean, you know how I mean.”

“In my opinion, having siblings can be one of the best experiences life has to offer. Of course, it does not always turn out well,” she gave Kaito a brief nod, acknowledging him without lingering on sympathy for very long, “But when it does? Nothing else can compare. Even with an age difference, having that bond with someone that lasts your whole life… It’s special. My dear clairvoyant friend may not have been very accurate about our daughter’s psychic aptitude, but hopefully the comradery he saw between our kids was more true.”

Giving Kaito an understanding look, Koharu shook her head. “No, at least for the people I referred to. My birth parents, Lords Mako and Teppei Hanamiya, moved into the castle with me, when King Bernard claimed me as his heir. Bernard was Aiichi, and he took up more of a mentorship role with me, rather than the more common parental one. But he did become great friends with my parents, and was there for my sister’s birth as well. If not for our societal roles, I would have considered him an uncle.”

Tilting her head to the side as she ate a sliced apple, Koharu made a thoughtful sound. “I believe you have met one of my sister’s descendants, actually. Do forgive me if I have mixed up the names, but Lady Maki’s sister Hannah was adopted by a Kiyoshi, was she not?”

Kaito gave her a brief, somewhat amused, knowing look back, though he appreciated her not harping on it. He knew Kokichi hated his siblings, metaphorical or otherwise. He also knew Kokichi had some really valid reasons too. Didn’t make those feelings any less complicated.

“Ah, I see. I keep trying to mentally prepare for Feelings Baby to be, well, a new baby we stumble across… but honestly, I’d be just as okay being their mentor figure– or, I guess the husband of their mentor figure?-- so long as their family life was happy. Like, as much as I am ready to be dad again, you know… when you meet a new baby, the hope is always they’re happy with their parents. It’s reassuring to hear about a good experience of meeting the new Ouma without anyone losing their parents and it still working.”

He had also been curious if Aiichi was, in every iteration, just… Like That. But he was distracted by the mention of Hannah, eyes widening a little as he asked, “The Kiyoshi family, of course. Hannah’s doing great with them, she’s really taken to the kendo practice they do. Kiyoshi are descendants of yours?”

“It is not always the easiest thing to ask of a spouse, even one dedicated to a higher cause, such as the spouse of an Ouma,” Koharu nodded again, though there was a deeper understanding in her eyes, one that knew of the sacrifice the spouse of a leader how to make. Knowing too, that some just weren’t up to the task. “While all love is a choice one makes, the love for a child can be difficult, if not felt inherently. However, on top of the faith I have for you, specifically, Kaito…if history truly does repeat, then I can assure that the discovery of a new Ouma typically goes well. In most cases, it is a happy occasion.”

Grinning at the tell of Hannah doing well with her distant family--even if Koharu already sort of knew that--the queen straightened in pride. “Wonderful. Yes, they are--in accordance with their lordship, the land my fathers were granted has now become the location of the Hanamiya Nursery, their name living on. I believe that the Kiyoshi family, a Teppei as well, is a sibling to the Hanamiyas that maintain the nursery currently.”

“At this point, any claim I have over my descendants is purely pretty words, however…they still do our name well with pride,” Koharu smiled, looking out on the flower field. “It makes me happy to hear that the kindness we have shown our children continues as well.”

Kaito was devouring this damn plate. God, he was hungry. What, should he have had seconds at dinner? It didn’t help that the food was amazing. It was cooked differently than he was used too, but he got the sense he was eating it as his brain guest would. Basically appreciating it in ways she did. He wondered if he should be worried about how much influence she had over this setting, considering this was his mind… but Kokichi usually just kept his hands off the setting when he came to visit out of courtesy. Kaito wasn’t actually all that worried about Kokichi, in any form he was in, actually taking advantage. 

“They’re doing you proud! Should we all be so lucky… oh, while I have you. I know we’re here to confirm how this ritual is supposed to go for Addason, but…” Kaito gave Koharu a stern look, “This is also a serious opportunity to fulfill any goals or requests, if you have anything on your mind. I know in the future if Kokichi got the chance to talk to a future loved one as himself, that I’d want them to offer to help him with anything he still wants… so, consider me at your service, your grace. As your husband? You can call on me, I’ll do my absolute best for you.”

In great Dicean tradition, food brought people together. The sheer number of tea parties and luncheons and just available snacks Koharu had put together in life to share with others… Since the opportunity opened, Koharu knew that Kaito would adore a charcuterie spread, and she was vindicated to see she was correct. A proper setting with proper food to properly meet her new life’s husband. 

Giving Kaito a charmed smile, Koharu laughed softly. “Aren’t you sweet? Though of course I know that. Thank you, Kaito. There is nothing particularly onerous I have to ask. If the opportunity arises, though, I would love to see what has become of the nursery. I know none of us have a particularly green thumb, but perhaps we could get some flowers for our room…that would be lovely.”

Other than Kokichi, no facet or memory of any other life had claim to the world of the living anymore. Especially the farther back you went, looking after loved ones’ (or, rather, their descendants) became difficult and unsatisfying, and more material things… Well, they didn’t seem to matter as much, when you were dead. When you had a new life with new things to care about. 

But…seeing part of a legacy, and getting something to enjoy from it in the present? That felt…right. 

“Now, yes. You wanted more information on the seclusion ritual for dear Addason?”

Kaito nodded, mentally storing that away. A trip to the nursery, get some plants for the room. An easy way to honor an older part of Kokichi’s life. 

“I’d be happy to do that. Consider it done.” Kaito promised, sipping at the Red and sighing in slight satisfaction. Man, this was nice, but he was going to wake up ravenous, he just knew it. “And, please, yes. Honestly, as much detail as you can possibly give me would be incredibly helpful. I know I should have come to you in the first place for the fine details, but I was so worried about accidentally hurting the little guy that I think I worried Seiko… and definitely weirded out Keigo. I wish I had maybe kept it more secret, what I was doing, but I was so worried that if they didn’t know it was going on an infant they wouldn’t give me some warning or another that I’d need to hear to keep him safe through the process… I’d rather be looked at like a crazy person than take risks with him, ya know?”

“Naturally,” Koharu nodded with authority, validating Kaito’s choices. “While this particular method of absorbing power has been thoroughly tested, modern medicine has advanced quite a bit since the last time my soul has contacted the greater veil community. For Addason’s safety, it was wise of you to seek the help of a studied healer, and selfless to risk opinion doing so.”

“As far as I am aware, the volume of chemical solvent is little enough, even in comparison to an infant, that the most dangerous part of it is if you acquire the chemical in a larger amount, and you happen to expose yourself to a greater quantity while portioning out the amount you need,” Koharu smiled softly. “It is solely used to aid in skin absorption, so the person performing the ritual is not simply sitting with rock cream on their skin for no reason.”

“For a 50 gram stone, which I believe you have, you will only need about 2 miligrams of chemical solvent. As none of those chemicals are water soluble, you will need to make up the rest of the liquid volume with a neutral, infant-safe oil or cream,” Koharu explained. “The consistency is something up to your discretion--likely whatever texture Addason will find least offensive. You will not need to cover every inch of skin in the mixture, but you will need to use all of it, and spread it to best ensure absorption. It is not necessary to set up the Gardener defense during the absorption time, but as you would simply be waiting, it was common practice to do so. After the half-hour mark, though longer does help if the person performing the ritual can abide by it, you may wash off the mixture, keeping in mind that your skin has been primed for absorption. Then the ritual is over.”

“God, little Addie is gonna hate every second of this.” Kaito chuckled warily, mentally storing all that information away. Hopefully Seiko would be able to okay all of it, though if there was serious complications he knew he’d want to hear about it. He wondered if Seiko would okay it if she knew the alternative was a tattoo… probably not, but Kaito suspected a whole lot of legal trouble would suddenly spring up if she knew. “Considering his dad is probably going to be in his mind actually setting up the Gardener, I figured I’d probably be actually in the world taking care of Addie through it. Hopefully the little guy can forgive his godfather for the weird, uncomfortable paste he’s gonna spread over him.”

“...you had children.” Kaito mused, “And you’ve known them for as long as Kokichi has… but you’re different from Kokichi…”

Kaito sighed, turning to the queen and bowing his head respectfully, “I’m offering a sincere and formal apology to my husband right now, because it’s not fair what I’m about to say… Sorry, ‘Kichi.” Kaito said, regret genuinely ripping painfully through his stomach, before straightening up and looking seriously at Koharu, “You know Lake and Nazumi in a way I just can’t. And this is a conversation I struggle to have with Kokichi… do you trust them as potential caretakers to Miyako? I mean worst comes to worst and tragedy strikes and it really is just them left to raise her… you would do it? As a mother?”

“It is not a particularly unpleasant ritual, as far as things go, but I can’t imagine he’ll be very enthused, yes,” Koharu chuckled with grim acceptance. “But it is something Temp, and you and Kokichi have decided to take responsibility for, in order to ensure him a future with more opportunities. Perhaps that doesn’t mean very much to Addason now, but it will one day.”

As Kaito regarded her and made his question, Koharu’s expression tinged sad. Even with the apology, Kokichi still disappointed that Kaito didn’t trust…every time Kokichi had vouched for his sister. But he did understand the warrant for the question. 

“...asking me as a mother, and not a leader… My gut-instincts are not very helpful, as everyone who I would entrust my children to are long gone from this plane,” Koharu smiled regretfully. “But accepting Kokichi’s life into my own wisdom… I would.”

Looking over at Kaito, the queen’s eyes were stern, though not cold or unkind. “They are troubled, yes. But I would ask you to point out who near to our hearts is not. Lake and Nazumi have their own troubles…but Lake’s drive her to ensure that no children are ever left crying and hurt again. To become safety for those weaker, so that they might finally rest and flourish in some regard other than survival. She fights for other’s smiles, and should she be given custody of our children, I have no doubt she would fight harder for theirs than all others.”

“Nazumi’s drive her to be quieter, to pay attention. To know that not all danger takes the form of an outside enemy, and that an ounce of prevention is more than worth a pound of pain. She works in small steps, always making sure that the ground is solid and sturdy beneath her feet before taking another step. While Lake might leap ahead to grand ideas, Nazumi will make sure no one falls behind or slips through the cracks.”

“People do not have to have poignant flaws for you to dislike them, Kaito,” Koharu told him. “Even if they are people I love. Lake and Nazumi could be the perfect people to raise our children should the worst happen, but you can still say no, for no other reason than it disquiets you. That is an answer I will accept. But you asked for my opinion…and I trust them.”

Kaito listened to all of this quietly… and nodded. Looking down at his hands in shame, fussing with his joints a little. That quiet ache still following him to his dreams.

“...my husbands a good man. Truly.” Kaito said softly, “But that goodness in him can… sometimes make it difficult to trust his judgment on things. Not that my own judgments are any more reliable but…” Kaito grinned wainly, allowing his eyes to dart up and shrug at the queen, “No one trusts my judgment because I’m not a good man, anyway. Makes it easier to notice when I’m wrong. Everyone’s always looking for it.”

“That said?” Kaito sighed, sipping at his glass again, “I didn’t ask you if they’re godparent material because I don’t ‘like them’ and was hoping you’d prove it. I did it because I hoped talking to a version of my husband who doesn’t love them and doesn’t feel guilty about years of mistreating them would confirm what he’s told me already, and I can finally let my fears go. I want to believe in Kokichi, and I want to say yes and honor his sister and her… partner. I want Miyako to stay in Dicea, near the castle, and for when the worst would come to worst, for her life to not be too disrupted. I want her near her brother, near the people she’s grown up with, in her same school with her same friends, with people she can rely on. People who’d make her feel special and seen and wanted, in a way that’s… difficult. Growing up in a castle. Lake and Nazumi are perfect for that.”

“But I’d feel like shit, agreeing to do it when I still had doubts, just because I knew it’d make Kokichi happy with me.” Kaito said softly, clenching his fists as he admitted, “And I know I’m a coward for saying it to you, rather than… well, Kokichi when he’s acting like himself. The one I know. I hate disappointing him…”

Kaito let out a steadying breath… before grinning brightly at the queen, “Thank you, Koharu. I know that was all unfair, but I needed to hear it. It really does put my mind at ease.”

…Kaito leaned forward a little. Resting his head on his shoulder a bit, in a way he knew caused his shirt to clutch at the lines of his chest and waist a bit, riding up his skin a little as his grin turned a tad more wolfish, as he said just a tone deeper, “I don’t know what your preferences are, but as your future husband, you can take a reward if you want it. For being so patient with me, your grace~”

Koharu gave Kaito a soft look. “You are far better than you give yourself credit for, Kaito. And while it is my purview…wisdom takes time. Judgment is not the domain of the pure or the wicked; it takes dedicated understanding of all in the world, good and bad and simply there, to cast it wisely.”

Kokichi would get there one day, and he did have a better foundation for it than most. But he wasn’t there yet. How despairing it would be, for the peak of knowledge to occur at 21?

“It would likely do Miyako best for her to be able to remain as close to home as possible, were the worst to happen,” the queen nodded gently. “To keep her friends and remaining family close, to not be disrupted from her community. I would not go so far as to say those would make up for ill-suited guardians, but I don’t believe Lake and Nazumi to fall into that category in the first place.”

“I will say this is more of a roundabout way to do it…but thank you for expressing your doubts, and seeking more information to solve them. Kokichi is a bit sad to have this conversation more than you have already…but we do understand. Miyako deserves every moment of consideration we can give.”

Raising her eyebrows a little as Kaito leaned forward, Koharu had to stifle a snicker, a harsher sound than her laughs had been before. What a silly man. And yet…

“We do seem to find the sweet oddballs, don’t we?” she said, fond and amused. Leaning forward, she gently kissed Kaito’s cheek. “I thank you in turn for enjoying this food with me. S’ki yo, Kai-chan.”

Kaito chuckled, placing his hand against his cheek, trying to capture the brief warmth fading. “What a charmer~ S’ki yo, Koharu.”

-

Kaito looked somewhat miserably at the spread of the table, collecting from the different dishes nearby and putting them on his own plate with what he knew damn well was a somewhat childish sigh. Breakfast looked good, and in any other morning he’d consider it a damn good spread, but…

Kaito popped one of the sausages in his mouth and openly pouted as he did so. The sausage Koharu had made for him was so damn good. Kaito had woken with his stomach growling, the picnic dancing through his mind. Hell, when he had gone to feed Miyako, his stomach had growled so loud that Kaito was fairly convinced that the bells in his head was Miyako trying to get him to eat. 

Shuichi was upstairs with Miyako, and Kaito hadn’t seen Maki or Timothy yet that morning. With more reckless abandon than he had shown at the picnic the night before, his plate was piled high with food that he was scarfing down, a small pout on his face as he did so… okay, admittedly the pout eased a bit as he got to the hashbrowns and the sweetrolls. Mmmm….

Kaito glanced at his husband. “...not very hungry, babe?” Kaito asked in between bites. “Or does your plate just look small in comparison to mine?”

“My plate always looks small compared to yours,” Kokichi chuckled, tapping Kaito’s foot with his own under the table affectionately. “Though…especially today, huh? Didn’t know food dreams got you so bad, hun.”

Kokichi had a pretty standard breakfast, scambled eggs, toast with jam, some breakfast sausages… Sure, sometimes he got in the mood for certain foods after dreaming about them, but he didn’t think his appetite was quite so whetted as Kaito’s seemed to be. Something to keep in mind, he supposed…though he knew there were some parts of himself that would take no compromise in setting up what they viewed as the only good way to mark a greeting. 

…the parts of himself… All parts of the whole, but…

“Did you get enough sleep last night?” Kokichi asked softly. “I hope I didn’t keep you up too late.”

“I don’t dream about food.” Kaito shrugged, scarfing down another fried egg whole. “Honestly, I never noticed I don’t dream about food until I had a dream about food. And it was just…” Kaito sighed, eyes dreamy, “...so good. Way less confusing than my weird wet dreams, anyway.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a warm look at the little taps, before he shook his head, “Nope. Which was a shame, really. I gave her a great opening to really enjoy her night visiting. What a blow to the ol’ self esteem,” Kaito said with exaggerated despair, sighing heavily, “Hasn’t gotten any in, what? Couple a hundred years? Still could only coax a cheek kiss out of her. What, does she not like red heads? It’s the slime incident all over again.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a considering look, before popping some papaya in his mouth. “What about you? Get enough rest? …feel alright?”

Kokichi snorted softly, taking a satisfyingly crunchy bite out of his toast. “A shame, really. Food dreams are great. It’s like your brain takes all the best things about eating and gives you the most delicious experience ever. Does make for a bummer, though, when you dream about a food that doesn’t exist and you’re left chasing a phantom high.”

“Stress dreams where you, like, have things stuck in your teeth, or you’re coughing up stuff?” Kokichi grimaced. “Horrible other side of the coin. Absolutely miserable.”

Rolling his eyes a little, Kokichi nudged his husband’s arm. Technically, they’d gotten some really good stuff just a few days ago. Given that his past lives were memories, they didn’t really have needs. 

Plus, her lilac-haired husband likely would’ve cried at the thought of his wife making advances on another guy, even in another life. Not as herself. 

Sipping from his juice, Kokichi nodded. “Yeah, I slept well. I got to hunker down in that perfect spot against Shuu-chan’s neck for a while, so I’m always happy about that.” But happy in general…

Kokichi glanced around their table, chewing his lip a bit. “...I know you already apologized, but…you know why it’d upset me, right?”

Kaito sipped at his water, not letting the wariness show on his face. Still considering his words carefully, less he make a… well, not a ‘bad’ situation ‘worse’, but hopefully not accidentally turn a normal conversation ‘bad’. 

“...because…” Kaito looked to his husband the two of them already keeping their voices low, but his just a tad lower still, “You basically already told me all that stuff? But I still asked to hear it from, like, essentially you in a mask? Or… I mean, yeah. That I didn’t trust you as yourself?”

“Basically,” Kokichi sighed, moving bits of egg around his plate. “We’ve had that conversation, like…twice at least. I remember twice. And… You know I’d take a no, right? If you said, ‘I dunno, ‘Kichi, I’m not too comfortable with that’, we could’ve just…moved on. But every time you’ve just asked me if I trust them, and…yeah. I wouldn’t have brought them up if I didn’t.”

Frowning, Kokichi set his fork down. “So…what? You just needed to hear that a third time while I put on a different voice for my words to mean something?” Immediately, he cringed. 

“...no, I didn’t mean it like that…” He was…kind of angry. Not super! But… Letting out another sigh, Kokichi rubbed his forehead a little. 

“...I do understand you wanting to get another opinion from someone with different biases…but I really would’ve rather you just actually ask different people, rather than me again and again. Or talk to my sister and Nazumi themselves, and see if they live up to what you’d feel is right.”

Kaito frowned a little, but it was less guilt and more just… listening. Recognizing his husband hadn’t appreciated that. Kaito had known he wouldn’t. His apology had been sincere, and he’d likely offer it again in a moment. But… Kokichi had a point. 

Kaito tried to imagine talking to anyone else about his fears of what leaving Miyako to Lake and Nazumi could mean in practice… and each person that potentially ran through his mind to ask alarmed him far more than asking Kokichi for the third, fourth, fifth time.

“...I don’t want people to know I’m afraid of them,” Kaito admitted softly, looking back to his food, “Or that I don’t trust them, not when I’m supposed to by now. I’ve tried apologizing and making things right with Lake a few times now, even I’m sick of how hard it’s been to connect to her. I’m the problem there, not her. And Nazumi’s never done anything to me, or even you, or anyone we know to make me doubt her… it’s literally just her distant past. And I know how frustrating that is.”

“I just didn’t want to air out my distrust to anyone in the castle. I know they all already know,” Kaito huffed, rolling his eyes at himself a bit, “But I’ve been trying to fix that. Admitting to anyone that you wanted Lake and Nazumi to be Miyako’s godparents since day one and I’m the hangup just feels like a step backwards, is all.”

“But… you’re right. I know you’re right. I’ve been handling this poorly. I’m sorry, Kokichi…I’m stuck in this looping pattern with this. I’m sorry we’ve talked about it so much. I’m ready to ask them.” Kaito said, “We can do it whenever you’re ready.”

“...admitting you’re struggling isn’t a step back. Even if it’s a problem you’ve talked about before,” Kokichi said after a moment, resting a hand on Kaito’s arm. “...yeah, a lot of people here know you don’t trust them. Confirming that won’t hurt, I don’t think. Especially if it’s…yanno, a full conversation, that includes all that stuff about how you don’t want to distrust them, but…you’re not there yet. It’s just…dumb to get offended that someone’s not at the destination, if you can see that they’re still walking the path.”

“Trust doesn’t have a timer. One day…I’ll be really happy, when my family earns your trust. But there’s not a date on the calendar that says ‘ah, right here’s the day you should feel totally comfortable with people!’ You have your own journey and pace…I’m not expecting anything more.”

Giving Kaito a long look, Kokichi nodded once. “Okay. I wanna find a day when you, me, and Shuu-chan can have a visit with them, then, and we can talk things over. For me…I want everyone to agree, or it’s not happening. Miya’s too important for something like this to be half-heartedly thought out.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a mildly alarmed look at his decision, dipping his eyes back to the food and nervously grabbing another sweetroll, shoving it into his mouth, “...” he nodded hesitantly. His heart sinking at the idea of needing to tell Lake and Nazumi to their face, ‘hey, your situation makes me deeply uncomfortable and I’ve been stopping your little brother from offering you something I consider a huge honor and responsibility… my bad’. 

Well, maybe he wouldn’t… word it that way. And it was maybe the only way to move forward on this. Kaito could insist that he really had let his anxieties go and he was totally up to asking them to be godparents next time they talked about it, but… well, he had brought this up over three times. Kaito figured it was probably too late to try to convince Kokichi of something that was that blatantly untrue. 

“Yeah, alright… I’m sorry again, Kokcihi.” Kaito said, giving his husband a regretful look. “....should I not do that again? Spring a question on you in a mask, when I’m talking to one of the older you’s?”

Kokichi sighed softly and returned to his meal, forcing himself to at least finish his plate, though the sinking, panicked feeling he was getting from Kaito wasn’t the most appetizing. He never expected Kaito to get along with his family. They fought over that very thing. And he could respect, now, that even if he was uncomfortable, Kaito still wanted to try, to not live his entire life with Kokichi planning out scheduled slots for everyone. 

…but he did wish Kaito would stop trying to hide that discomfort so much. Would say no more, when Kokichi suggested doing things with certain family members. He meant what he said, about Kaito not needing to be at the destination already…but sometimes he wished his husband would ask for more help on the road, or pick an easier path. 

Looking over with a small smile, Kokichi shook his head. “That part I wasn’t upset about. While it is all still me? My…masks have different perspectives, and I think it could be really interesting for us both to talk like that. I’d just…yanno, prefer it not to be life-changing, or life-important questions, and especially ones you’ve asked me before.”

“...” Kaito couldn’t help it. He chuckled a little. “Pulling the ‘if dad says no, ask one of the other dads’ trick. One Kokichi says no? Keep going through them until one of them says yes.”

He nodded though, grabbing his coffee and sipping at it. “Okay. I’ll be better, Kokichi. I’m trying, I swear it.”

There was a flash of familiar orange hair, and Kaito caught Timothy’s form from the corner of his vision. “Oh, Tim’s come down… can we talk about this more later, babe? When we’re going to go talk to Lake and Nazumi, I mean?” Kaito asked, throwing a grin on his face when Tim looked over, Kaito waving him over.

“Sure thing,” Kokichi nodded, brightening as Tim came over and offering the boy a wave as well. “Good morning, Tim! How’s it goin’? You excited for today?”

Because, barring no major road mishaps, today was the day Haneda was slated to return. She had, officially, taken a few extra days of vacation out, just in case, and to likely have some time to decompress after such a big trip, but Kokichi knew she wouldn’t just immediately go to her room and spend those days completely alone. …mostly, alone, probably, but there was at least two special people--or a person and a dog--that she wouldn’t miss checking in with for anything. 

“Good morning, Uncle Kokichi.” Timothy said, nodding his head respectfully to Kokichi, before giving his dad a long look… and reaching up to pinch him out of nowhere.

“Ow!” Kaito said, looking offended as he rubbed his arm… before narrowing his eyes, “Maki.”

Timothy shrugged, “Mom said to pinch you. Did you do something wrong?”

“Yeah, but nothing you need to worry about.” Kaito sighed, somewhat exaggeratedly rubbing his arm before motioning to the empty seat, “Sit down, eat some breakfast. Eat some fruits, it’s not all meat today. Where’s Chase?”

“Mom took her for a walk, said she wanted the exercise. And…” Timothy paused, sitting down and thinking thoughtfully about Kokichi’s question, before nodding, “Yeah. I’m excited. You think she’s actually going to be there?”

“Who, your nanny? Why wouldn’t she be… fruits, Tim.”

Timothy sighed, reluctantly adding some fruits to his plate, “The place she was going to sounded nice. I don’t know if I’d come back if I went to hills full of sheeps and puppies. Well, maybe if Chase was still here…”

“And me? Your dad? Who loves you so much and would miss you?” Kaito asked leadingly, “If I was still here?”

Timothy shrugged, making a non-committal sound. Hard to say. Sheeps and puppies might trump father figures. Kaito pouted at that. He was going to earn this kids love, dammit. He glanced at the door, both for either Chase and his mom– she had said she wouldn’t be that far behind Tim, once he was eating breakfast– and idly hoping to see Miss Kawaii, though he didn’t know when she was supposed to be back that day specifically.

Kokichi shook his head a little in slight amusement. It was always the hope that Kaito and Maki worked out what they needed to work out during their dancing sessions, but…well. A pinch was mild retribution, and didn’t really seem like the kind of passive-aggression Maki tended towards when she did at all. 

“I know she’s not usually one for long chats, but I hope Haneda’s willing to tell us a bit about her vacation,” Kokichi hummed, getting a large spoonful of sliced strawberries to add to his plate. Was it to entice Tim, or just because Kaito talking about fruit had ignited his vigor? Who was to say. “All the different mountain regions are so different from each other, and I’m curious what her friend’s pasture is like.”

Timothy watched Kokichi enthusiastically eat some strawberries’, eating at the papaya he had picked because he saw it on Kaito’s plate and, wrinkling his nose a little, trying the strawberry’s next. That was a little less offensive to the little carnivores pallet, apparently, eating the strawberries more idly as he said, “I already told you. It’s all puppies and sheeps and rolling hills. She told me before she left.”

“Be nice to your uncle, Tim.” Kaito gently chastised, “And don’t crowd Miss Kawaii when she gets back either. She’s gonna be tired.”

“She’ll want me to crowd.” Tim said with total certainty, “She missed me.”

“...” Kaito smiled, reaching over to ruffle Tim’s hair a bit, “Hell yeah she fucking did.”

“Language.”

“Ah, right. Heck yeah she effing did!” Kaito grinned, entirely pleased with Tim’s confidence in that, “But she’ll still be tired, so back off when she starts to look worn down. It’s polite, and there will be time to catch up later… Maki! Over here!”

Maki headed over, Chase trotting happily at her feet, and she gave her kid a look, “Did you do it.”

“Yes.” Tim said.

“Good. A carriage just pulled up to the front. I don’t know if it’s her but–” Maki gave a genuinely startled look as Tim, immediately, was up and out of his seat, Chase bounding next to him as he ran out of the dining hall. “...fine. I’ll finish his food, I guess.” She said, sitting down.

Kaito chuckled, “He did the same things with the girls, when they came back. All cool and aloof until the second they were there. Little excitable weirdo. It’s cute.”

For no part of Haneda’s journey did she actually hire a carriage. She could, she had the funds for it, and summer vacationers weren’t so packed that all rentals had been taken, but…it felt weird and annoying, renting out a carriage for one person. Instead, Haneda had just booked or bartered passage with people already heading in the directions she needed, not fussed about walking her way into towns from farms when the ride didn’t go all the way. 

Which was why…well, it was ridiculous to be embarrassed by it, but Haneda was definitely a little uneasy when the merchants she’d been riding with for the last leg had insisted it was no problem to drop her off right at the castle. It wasn’t far from the main depot in town, and she’d just had such a long journey, it’s the least they could do. 

Friendly weirdos. 

But…Haneda couldn’t say she wasn’t smiling when, as soon as she climbed out of the carriage, there was already a boy and dog running right for her. Maybe there was some sort of chill, cool way to greet them…but Haneda just got on a knee and opened her arms, bracing herself to not be knocked down by a 60 pound, excitable puppy…or the kid running with her.

Haneda’s backpack saved her more than anything else. Catching her as boy and dog both did not see a reason to hold back, crashing into her midsection and chest, knocking her onto her butt. 

Timothy closed his eyes and squeezed her tight and told himself he wasn’t even kind of close to crying. Any physical signs to the contrary was entirely debatable, and if he was put on the spot, he’d debate it by going ‘no he wasn’t, cause it’s stupid to cry just because someone’s back from a relatively short trip’. Duh. 

Chase, of course, did her absolute best to crawl as far as she could into Haneda’s lap, her tail wagging so hard that most of her lower body was just being taken for the ride with it, licking at her face and barking occasionally. DAD! DAD! LOOK! IT’S MOM!! MOMS HERE!!

Timothy’s voice was not watery and wet when, after a moment he said into Haneda’s chest, “I told Cali you were bringing back a live sheep, s-so you’re gonna have to deal with that, next time you see her.”

“Ooph!! Aw, k-kid…Chase!” Haneda’s arm wrapped firmly around Tim’s shoulder, rubbing one of them, while her other arm was left to contend with Chase, giving the Very Good Girl who was probably Very Excited About New Smells all the scratches and butt pats while trying not to get pushed clean across the castle entrance. “Hey, down girl, I missed you too!”

But even all the excitement didn’t muffle Tim’s words, and Haneda paused before ruffling the back of his hair. “Well, we all have to learn disappointment one day. Hopefully what I did bring will make up for it, though I know a whole sheep is a pretty steep expectation.”

“...I missed you too, kid.”

Tim was definitely not crying.

But he kept his face buried in her shirt. Because if he was gonna cry, well, it was no one's business but his and hers. And Chase’s too, he guessed.

-

Kaito was regailing Maki and Kokichi with a story about his childhood that he had likely already told both of them at one point but he had forgotten he had done so, telling the story of getting stuck on a castle wall ledge. He had climbed up to it and, curious how far it would go, had kept walking it, assuming he’d find another point like the one he had climbed up on to climb back down on. But the more and more he walked it, ending up outside the castle when the ledge had started inside of it, kid Kaito had realized he was too nervous to try to turn around with falling and he had to keep going until finally he had to call for help up at a guard tower, who had poked their heads out of the tower to see the Second Son literally hugging the wall on the ledge wrapping around below their tower windows. 

“Thankfully they reached down and pulled me up, but I think I got them in trouble since apparently the guards were supposed to be keeping those ledges slick specifically to stop people from walking them and sneaking around the castle that way? I mean, thank god they didn’t, I’d have fallen, but yeah, me being a dumb kid and climbing where I wasn’t supposed too showed they were skipping some of their patrol steps.” Kaito shrugged, before for the third time that morning he waved his hand, “Ey! Miss Kawaii! Welcome back!”

Kokichi shook his head with a sigh. “I’m not even scared of heights and that sounds terrifying. I guess less so, if you only found out they were supposed to slick them after you got down but…oof. Even normally it’s one wrong foothold and you’re in trouble, but not being able to identify it? Ugh… Oh, hi, Haneda!”

Haneda gave the princes and Maki a greeting nod before plopping down in a chair that Tim had led her to, starting to dig in her pack. Maybe she’d grab breakfast too…but just hearing the chatter in the dining hall made it mighty tempting just to take a plate up to her room. 

“Maki, Kaito, Kokichi. Hey. It’s nice to be back.” 

With a small, satisfied hum, Haneda pulled a few things out of her pack. First, a sturdily braided, thick rope with knots on either end, and some grey and blue woolen booties in a set of four, following by a small baggie of what looked like cookies and jerky. Taking one of the cookies out, Haneda offered it to Chase, before giving Tim a nod. “Courtesy of Chouei. Don’t give her the whole bag at once, like any treat, but they’re not so special to never give.”

Next, she pulled out a matching pair of gloves and a hat, a side-pouch made of a rough, study material, and, with a sigh, a carefully folded piece of paper. On the paper, Tim would find not the work of a grand artist, but a clearly lovingly drawn scene of…a ginger, anthropomorphized goat throwing a ball for a black lab, an anthro cat with heather fur watching on in approval. Those things, she slid towards Tim.

Chase, like a good girl, sat and waited patiently for her treat… which she devoured out of the air in a quick, powerful bite, her tail wagging happily as she slobbered at it. Tim gave her a small pat as he looked at her gifts, remembering how cold the winters could get and nodding approvingly at the little booties. Not to mention the tug of war rope that Chase was going to gnaw into oblivion at some point. Nice. 

Tim’s expression didn’t express joy that easily, but there was a notable sparkle in his eyes as he saw that the gloves and hat would match Chase’s booties. He didn’t think about what he wore much, but he Approved. And as Kaito whistled low at his kid haul from his generous nanny, Kaito peeked at the drawing Haneda had given him, “...oh. A goat?” Kaito said, raising an eyebrow as he glanced at Timothy, “Very cool! I mean, I would have said you’re a little wolf cub type myself–”

“Goats are cooler than wolves.” Timothy decided immediately, ready to defend the picture with a new appreciation for goats in particular for the rest of his life. 

Kaito looked openly wounded, clutching his hand to his chest in shock, before putting his head in his hands over his meal and whining from deep in his throat. How dare… how dare… from his own son…

Maki ignored Kaito’s theatrics, also peeking at Timothy’s gifts before nodding approvingly, “What do you say, Timothy?”

“Thank you, Miss Kawaii.” Timothy said, bowing to her lightly, “I promise I won’t let Chase eat the boots.”

“I’m happy you like ‘em,” Haneda nodded. “Chouei’s…unique. But he said he couldn’t let me leave without finishing a drawing like that for you so…there you are. And good, the boots would give her stomach a good bit of trouble. She seemed to do alright last year, but ice crystals in the fur between her paws would be really uncomfortable for her.”

There was something else Haneda had given Tim, but…well, it was more like given back. And Haneda had made sure to do that before they joined his family in the hall. Even if it was his own knife, Haneda didn’t particularly want Maki to ever see her offer out a knife to Tim. Even with the handle facing him. 

“Do you need any help bringing your things upstairs, Haneda?” Maki offered kindly. Admittedly, somewhat negating the kindness as she tapped Kaito’s shoulders, “He can give you a hand if your pack has started to weigh on you. I imagine it’s been a long trip for you already today.”

“Wait, no, hold on, at least ask her how it was first, Maki-roll.” Kaito grinned, looking to Haneda, “How’d it go? Any exciting stories? Trip go smoothly?”

“Dad, we’re supposed to let her go if she looks worn out.” Tim said.

Kaito frowned gravely, before saying to him, “Kid, you don’t actually tell someone they look worn out to their face. It’s rude… you do look like it’s been a long trip though,” Kaito said, grinning at Haneda, “I really will help you with your pack if you want, it’s no trouble.”

Haneda gave Tim an amused side-eye before she shook her head at Kaito. “Thanks, but I’ve got it. Most of today has just been sitting in the back of a carriage--not exactly a strain. But I think I will get some food and head up. The trip was good, thanks.”

Short-lipped as ever, Haneda got started doing just that, Kokichi looking unsurprised and amused. He could get a story or too another time.

Timothy watched her walk away before quickly gathering up his gifts and without a word to the rest of them quickly went to follow her heels, Chase following him. Kaito watched them go and sighed, “God, I’d stub my toe a hundred times for Tim to like me as much as he likes her. Who’d have thought it’d be so damn hard to compete with the nanny?”

Maki shrugged, “He likes us in different ways. Don’t get hung up on it.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re the other favorite.”

“Are you kidding?” Maki said, giving Kaito an incredulous look, “You’re his other favorite. I’m the strict parent, you actually have fun with him.”

“What? He respects the crud out of you, Maki! You’re absolutely the other favorite!”

“...at least we’re beating his teacher.” Maki decided.

“Hah, that guy makes him learn stuff, we’re totally wiping the floor with him.” Kaito snickered. “Did you hear what he said, though? In what world are goats cooler than wolves?”

-

“Kaito!” Kaede said, her voice a little tinny in the phone as Kaito sat down at the table, “There you are. Oh, I’m so sorry I couldn’t get back to you sooner. It’s so good to hear from you.”

“Playing a little bit of phone tag, huh?” Kaito said, grinning warily into the receiver, “That’s what the secretaries here call it. Leaving messages back and forth on the phone. Phone tag.”

“Ha~ I got it from context, Kaito, but that’s cute.” Kaede giggled, before sighing into the receiver, “I really am sorry I couldn’t talk to you sooner. Being Queen is, shoooocking, kind of an all day, every day thing! It’s really one thing after another… but! That’s not what we’re talking about. How have you been? The anniversary wasn’t that long ago…”

“I offered some prayers and then Maki took me out to go break stuff at a junkyard… or, a fake junkyard? Diceans don’t actually have landfills like that, but someone recreated one for, like… novelty destruction?” Kaito explained, “We broke things.”

“Oooh, sounds exciting. Maybe I should break things.” Kaede laughed, “Sounds more relaxing than reading through the same policy recommendations in three dozen different formats, these freaks thinking that this one is gonna sneak by me. Honestly, no wonder King Leo and Byakuya had anger issues. These people make me want to lose it sometimes.”

“Heavy is the crown.” Kaito muttered, “How’s your husband doing?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. I barely see him these days. I get my reports on him, of course, but he’s mad at me over something these days, who can even keep track of what it is this time… actually.” Kaede sighed, “Kaito, I need to talk to you about something. It’s important.”

“...sure, your grace. What is it?” Kaito said, resigning himself to some new bullshit.

“Kaito, there’s a very real chance that I’m not going to be able to produce an heir, and I need to start thinking about the realities of that.” Kaede said, pausing to let Kaito say something. When he didn’t, she continued, “I keep coming up with different solutions, but they all have their drawbacks. I could take on a concubine, but the heir will always struggle with the wealthy elites. I could adopt, but then the heir would struggle with the priests and nobility. None of this is insurmountable, but… there’s a third option that is very tempting…”

“...”

“Kaito, it’s not something we have to decide on for years. But I wanted to give you a heads up in warning that, someday, Miyako might have to prove herself against Theor–”

“No,” Kaito said softly, “Kaede, we’re not doing that. You don’t get to put my daughter on a path competing for an inheritance for a country she won’t even know.”

“Kaito, I’ll ignore that and pretend you never said it. Again, it won’t be for years, and this will be your chance to bring your family back into the main line–”

“Competing with Theor, who is in Novoselic.” Kaito interrupted the Queen, scowling as he gripped the phone tighter, “And the uncertainty of the ‘maybe’ will put both of those kids in danger. You want an heir who will be in reach, that you can protect, and who isn’t actively competing with another person for control over our entire kingdom, Kaede. What the fuck are you even talking about!? Do you just like civil wars!?”

“Remember who you’re speaking to, Prince Kaito.” Kaede snapped… before saying softly, “Kaito, I’ve told you before. I look to you as a compass, when I’m going too far… but I thought you’d be happy at this opportunity.”

“Maybe you really don’t know what it’s like to love someone more than your own damn ambitions.” Kaito muttered, “So let me explain it. You’re not putting Miyako, or my family, or Theor for that matter in that sort of danger, at the possibility of a job neither of them have the brains to even comprehend that they’d someday want. Theor’s not even been born yet, Kaede, and until you have an heir he and Miyako are in danger. You wanted to be queen so badly? Appointing, protecting and training an heir is a part of that. Fucking find one already.”

“....ugh, fine.” Kaede sighed, “Which one would you do then? Concubine or adoption?

“Adoption.” Kaito said immediately, “And have the Supreme Light make a show of Atua blessing the kid. He won’t care, and if the Supreme signs off on your heir, the priests will fall in line.”

“...I’ll consider it.” Kaede said, “I haven’t decided on anything, Kaito.”

“If you don’t want my advice, stop asking me to sign off on your shitty ideas that keep hurting my family.”

“...Byakuya asked me to keep it a secret too, if I was going to do it. Same reason you told me not to. It’d put Theor and Marigold in danger.”

“Are you… seriously talking to Byakuya these days?” Kaito asked, staring incredulously at the ugly yellow wall, “You and Byakuya are talking?”

“The wars over, Kaito, we’re moving on. Byakuya knows there’s plenty as Queen that I can offer him. I’d only ever make him beg me for it a little bit.” Kaede giggled… and when Kaito didn’t laugh, sighed, “I know all of that was terrible, Kaito, I understand if it’s all still too fresh for you to move past. But just know, Byakuya didn’t tell me no. And if I’m considering my nephew, it’s only fair I consider my niece too–”

“Miyako following in the fine Kaito tradition of giving up her fucking claim as soon as she can talk.” Kaito growled.

“You’re that upset I’m talking to Byakuya, huh?”

“...Byakuya and I haven’t spoken since she was born.” Kaito muttered, “All I did was… keep a secret. And he treats me like garbage. You two went to war and you’re talking about future plans already like old fucking friends.”

“I wouldn’t say we’re talking like friends.” Kaede sighed, “I’m sorry, Kaito. Politics is hard. It’s never fair. And honestly, if Byakuya isn’t talking to you… good. He hurt you worse than I ever did, Kaito. It’s better to not have him in your life.”

“Says the woman he beat to the punch…”

“...I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you thought I was, Kaito.” Kaede said. Her voice soft. Kaito got the impression she was smiling, “I loved the way you looked at me. You made me feel… good. Bigger than life… I’m sorry I couldn’t keep it up.”

“...if there’s anything else I can do for you, your grace?”

“Not at all. I’ll talk to you again soon.”

-

One of the less overwhelming problems of having everything in their early relationships happening so quickly, Kokichi had found, was that all the anniversary dates were really close together. Their wedding anniversary party had been incredible, as was the little trip down memory lane Kaito had put together for the anniversary of their meeting. And then…well, there was a whole national holiday in the middle, plus the anniversary of Kaito’s parents’ deaths… Things were starting to feel a little crowded. 

Not that Kokichi wasn’t planning on celebrating at all! Not in the slightest, and especially not after what Shuuichi had said during their last therapy session. All their anniversaries deserved attention, and especially the first one of the bunch that was very firmly focused on Shuuichi too. 

But Kokichi didn’t have it in him to plan a huge party again--nor the time--and they were just starting to get busier… But there were other ways to celebrate, as Kaito had brought up. And something a little quieter, a little more private and meaningful to them was…not exactly young, dumb, romance, but a part of it, at least, and something Kokichi thought Shuuichi would still appreciate. 

Getting ready for work that morning, Kokichi lingered over their bed, kissing Shuuichi’s head as his fiance sunk down under the covers, hoping for a little more sleep after his shift. “Happy anniversary, Shuu-chan~” he softly sang. “Do you have plans tonight?”

Shuichi blinked sleepily into his cocoon, staring blearily up at Kokichi…

…anniversary? What was… oh. Did Kokichi mean the anniversary of them asking him out on the carriage? Aw, that was sweet… “I’d have to check my calendar.” Shuichi yawned,snuggling closer into his pillows, the warmth of Kokichi’s kiss lingering lightly on his forehead, “But for a special day, I’m sure I could move some things around. Did you have something in mind?”

“Maybe a couple,” Kokichi grinned, stroking Shuuichi’s hair gently. Shuuichi really was the cutest in the early morning, even if Kokichi wasn’t there to join him. “Course I’d wanna spend all day with ya, after I get off work, but our Shuuichi is an independent man with the world at his fingertips! So I’ll humbly ask if you could spare some time for dinner, and afterwards.”

“I’d wanna keep it an exciting surprise, but…I know that’s not really your game,” Kokichi shrugged sheepishly. “So I’ll be a jerk and say that work awaits, and you can grill Kai-chan on our super cool, super sweet plan. Sleep well, honeypie.”

Shuichi blinked heavily… before reaching out of his cocoon to gently take Kokichi’s wrist before he could escape. 

Then, his eyes widening, Shuichi leaned on his back a little. His hair brushing over his eyes a little as he said, voice small and uncertain, “...do you have to go… ‘Kichi?” 

Gently trying to pull Kokichi back to bed. Mmmmm, yesss… come back for that good nap action….

Kokichi’s eyes widened in turn, his face starting to flush…

He’d gotten spoiled while on parental leave. All the days he could ask for, cuddling up to Shuuichi in bed, their only alarm a couple feet away. He’d spend every morning like that, if he could…but Kokichi genuinely liked his work, and he’d much rather have the majority of his afternoons off, rather than sleep in longer in the morning. He loved cuddling in…but he loved spending time with his family awake more. 

But Shuuichi really was pulling out all the stops…and it was their anniversary…

Putting his free hand over his face, Kokichi glanced at the clock before making a strained sound and crawling back under the covers. “...I can stay another twenty minutes. Just for my Shuu-chan.”

Maniacal laughter would have gotten rid of that good, sleepy vibes Shuichi was going for as he pulled Kokichi closer to him, snuggling him against himself as wrapped his arms around Kokichi’s back and waist… so he just maniacally laughed a little in his head, smiling happily as he closed his eyes. Sure, sure… just twenty minutes.

……….

Kaito, sweating a little, came back from his morning run, Miyako strapped to his chest. She had decided in the last week that going back to sleep after early morning feeding was something only losers did, and since Miyako was determined to be up anyway, Kaito had decided he needed to start getting his morning workout routine back on track before school started for the kids. 

As Miyako gurgled happily on Kaito’s chest, invigorated by morning ‘playtime’, Kaito took a sip of water, glanced at the bed to see the usual morning Shuichi pile… wait… the pile looked too big…

Glancing at his watch, Kaito balked, before quickly heading over, jostling Kokichi, “Babe, what are you doing? You’re late!”

Shuichi, in defiance, without so much as opening his eyes, grabbed the blankets and threw it over both of their heads. Disappearing from intrusive Kaito views. “Shhhh.”

Kokichi woke with an ungainly snort, having to cough lightly to clear up his sinuses again, as his eyes blearily snapped open, blinking uselessly in the dark. What was…oh. It wasn’t…that late, right? Sure, he’d given Shuuichi enough time that he’d either have to stop by the dining hall quickly to grab something to bring up to the office, or just forgo breakfast entirely, but…he still should have some time…

Wading through the blankets a bit, Kokichi sleepily peeked out and squinted at the clock…before quickly biting his tongue lest he say some truly deplorable things with his daughter nearby. Instead, what escaped was a high-pitched, strained noise and an emphatic, “Crap!”

Rolling out from the bed, Kokichi only paused long enough to kiss Kaito’s cheek, kiss Miyako’s head, and toss back a, “Love you all! Happy anniversary!” before he dashed from the room, just hoping that Nadya hadn’t been waiting long enough for her to ask around if he’d gotten sick.

“Oh, bye Kokichi! Miyaaaaa, say bye to daaadd– oh no, he’s gone, okay.” Kaito said, chuckling a little, before looking down to Shuichi, “Shuichi, man, you know you can’t tempt Kokichi with morning naps on the weekdays. We’ve talked about this.”

“It’s my anniversary, can do whatever I want.” Shuichi grumbled, before sitting up and yawning. “Bring my baby to me so I can love her.”

“Alright, alright. Come on, Miya, dad’s gotta freshen up anyway.” Kaito said, untangling Miyako from the strap and picking her up, bringing her to Shuichi who accepted her with sleepy grace into his lap. “Oh, now, it’s nothing big, but, if you’re doing anything tonight–”

“Kokichi already told me. We’re celebrating the day you all asked me out?” Shuichi asked, raising an eyebrow as he started to play with Miyako’s hands. “Anniversary?”

“He wants to celebrate you! So do I, honestly. You think we want to wait a whole year for the anniversary of our wedding?” Kaito asked, leaning down to steal some kisses for himself, before starting to strip out of his clothes and toss them towards the hangar, “We celebrated the day Kokichi and I met. Why not the day we asked you out?”

“I’m not arguing it. Just surprised.” Shuichi said, bringing up Miyako and resting her against his chest as he patted her little baby butt, “So, what are we doing?”

“We thought maybe an evening at the park, having a picnic and doing some star-gazing might be nice? Like I said, nothing big, we didn’t want to wipe you out before two weekends in a row at vineyards. But it’d be a nice way for all three of us to spend time together, and it kinda reminds me of the date I did want to take you guys on, during that one holiday Maki rode back and cock-blocked me on.” Kaito said, tossing his pants aside before coming back and, giving Miyako a little kiss on the cheek, coo’d at her, “Aunt Maki really couldn’t have come back at a more inconvenient day, Miya. Your auntie does these things to me on purpose, I swear it. Why is Aunt Maki so mean to dad? You two conspire together to make sure dad doesn’t get any? Huh? Meaaaan Miyaaaaaaa, ooooh, I loooove youuuuu.”

Shuichi rolled his eyes as Kaito became an incomprehensible mess, baby talk dissolving into nonsense as he coo’d at her cheerful baby face. “Don’t forget Maki’s the main reason you did ‘get some’ lately. Also, unless we’re bringing Miyako, we need a babysitter.”

“Ikou to the rescue again.” Kaito said, straightening up, “I actually suggested Lake and Nazumi maybe taking her for the night, but… well, there’s a conversation we really need to have with them. Ultimately decided we shouldn’t ask them to babysit for a whole night until I can basically get over this thing of mine.”

Shuichi raised an eyebrow, “Kokichi didn’t say that.”

“No, he didn’t. I psyched myself out talking about it.” Kaito admitted, sitting at the edge of the bed and sighing, “One step forward, two steps back. Asked them to babysit, but oh no! Does that mean I gotta stare at them in the face and be like ‘hey I totally trust you to babysit, but about this whole ‘godparent’ thing that you, ha, literally don’t even know is something we’ve been discussing for four freaking months…’ ugh. Have I always been like this?”

“Like what?” Shuichi asked. “Paranoid?”

“No… judgy.” 

“...yes?” Shuichi said, though it came out like a question. Thinking back on it as he eventually decided, “Yes. Your whole schtick was finding people who were ‘good’ and making them ‘great’. You kind of need a judgy personality to make calls like that.”

“But… I didn’t judge a lot of people for things they did. My rival growing up was a crime boss heir, my best friends assassins and detectives, my lovers everything from nobility to commoners, heroes to thieves…” Kaito paused, rubbing the back of his neck a bit, “...I do tend to put people into categories, huh.”

Shuichi shrugged, “Kaito… you being okay with people who did ‘bad’ things didn’t mean you didn’t think of those things as ‘bad’. You just made judgment calls on whether those things bothered you, specifically. And you had your own reasons for why they did or didn’t bother you. Sometimes those reasons were as simple as you just liked them. But, yes. I’ve always known you to be the type of person who judges people. Everyone isn’t the same to you.”

“...well, I want to change my mind. My stupid judgments are hurting my husband. I keep trying to change my mind, but it’s hard. Like, really stupid hard! I cannot tell you how many times I’ve tried to change my thinking on Hideki. I keep trying! Also, I have settled things with Lake, Lake actually seriously helped me out when I was struggling not that long ago. I like Lake!”

“Is Lake the problem?”

“...” Kaito thought about it… before shrugging, “Yes and no. The problems Nazumi, and everything Lake represents there. They can’t get together because of Nazumi’s issues, right? What if Miyako has to be kept at an arms reach her whole life too, because of those issues?”

“...I’m actually not entirely convinced Lake and Nauzmi’s lifestyle is strictly necessary.” Shuichi admitted, giving Kaito a dry look at his confused look at that, “I’ve read her medical reports. All of them. I’ve talked to Seiko and Ford about them. Don’t look at me like that, you all want to make her a godmother to Miyako, of course I was going to look into it. I’ve investigated into all of it, heard peoples characters witness's, looked into all written records about Lake’s guardsman history and Nazumi’s work history… honestly, I agree with the medical reports. Nazumi has it under control. But… if you had killed four people at basically the start of your life…” Shuichi tilted his head slightly at Kaito, giving him a soft look, “...do you think you’d get to a point where you didn’t feel like you had to be on guard, all the time?”

“...ugh.” Kaito sighed, running his hand through his hair, “...that’s a fair point… Kokichi doesn’t understand why I won’t just tell him ‘no’. We could find different godparents…”

“So why don’t you?”

“.......I don’t know.” Kaito admitted, brow furrowed, “Not really. But, like… it’s his family. You know I never even considered asking anyone in my family? Or yours, for that matter? It’s nice, to know one of us has family we could count on to be there for Miyako without it being… bad. In theory, I want it to work. I want to be on board with it. I want to honor what Kokichi has. I just… need my stupid brain to get with it.”

He turned to Shuichi, asking, “You agree to it? Nazumi and Lake being her godparents?”

“I, admittedly, don’t think it will matter in the long run. The odds of all three of us dying in the next twenty years are low. At least in a manner that leave Miyako behind. And if all three of us do die, and we did pick wrong, then Maki will just kidnap Miyako and take her away when she realizes it wasn’t going to work anyway.” Shuichi shrugged, “So at best we’re picking ‘anti-Maki kidnapping’ godparents. People she’d trust. And Maki trained with Lake and recommended Nazumi to guard both Kokichi and, by proxy, us. In a way? It’s ideal.”

“...fuck I never even considered that.” Kaito realized, eyes wide, “You’re right, if we all die and Maki lives, we have to pick people she’s not just going to take Miyako away from. She won’t leave her just to honor our decision, that’s not our Maki. She’ll make a judgment call… shit, yeah, you’re right. Sorry, Miyako, dad didn’t mean to cuss. Still… damn.”

They sat in silence for a moment, contemplating that… before Kaito sighed, “Well, it’s good you’re on board. Kokichi and I want to talk to them about it soon-ish, so… yeah. One way or another, we’ll put the issue to bed. Thanks, Shuichi. I know I’m driving everyone crazy with this… I’m the only one who even cares about the ‘godparent’ thing and I’m the one who keeps putting down our best choice…”

Shuichi shrugged, “Go shower, put it out of your mind. We’ll face it when the problem is more immediate… are you going to go into the shower with your boxers on?”

Kaito gave Shuichi a blank look at that… before smirking. Taking off his boxers, throwing them aside, and strutting to the bathroom knowing gray-golden eyes were watching.

-

Thankfully it was just a day of paperwork, so it wasn’t like he was letting anyone down, coming in ten minutes late. Nadya even seemed to get a kick out of the story, snickering at the Greedy Blanket Monster that tried to steal Kokichi away for more cuddling time. Honestly Kokichi was tempted to take a day off, claiming their anniversary as a special occasion for it, but…he’d only been back to work a week, and he didn’t want to take any time off he didn’t have to. 

They had the whole rest of the day to spend together anyway. And something even more special planned for later. 

And later found them walking to the park closest to the castle, the one Kaito and Kokichi had gotten married in, a big picnic basket in Kaito’s arms, while Kokichi had a thick blanket thrown over his shoulder, his entire left side blocked from view. As it was with summer, even with a late dinner they couldn’t quite say it was sunset, but the light was definitely dimmer and the day cooler, providing a sort of peaceful atmosphere even for such a public place. 

“...so, yeah, I guess that boils down to Nadya-chan wishing us a happy anniversary. And she said she’d up be for doin’ something fun with you and Drake again, Shuu-chan.”

“Heck yeah. You were saying something about a night market, right handsome?” Kaito asked, finishing setting the picnic basket down and starting to pull out the spread they had brought. “You were going to invite a bunch of people?”

“A few, and it was mostly under the assumption a few of them wouldn’t want to go.” Shuichi said, sighing contently as he sat down on the blanket. It was thick and soft, and it was a nice day out. Perfect picnic setup. “It can be a little tricky, juggling them all. I don’t want to neglect anyone.”

“Pfff, nice.” Kaito grinned, pulling out the plates and unwrapping them one by one. It was nothing near as lavish as what he had had in his dreams recently, but the kitchen had put together something very nice for them anyway, and the food was still warm from its wrapping, warm scents filling the air as he opened them up. “Speaking of, ‘Kichi, I heard Amber and Stacy crashed your work lunch the other day. I kept meaning to ask how that went.”

Kokichi hummed happily as he helped set out the food, particularly eyeing the ratatouille as it wafted steam into the air. It was a good idea they’d gotten a big container of it--he’d be half tempted to snoop around for leftovers from the kitchen later if it was contained to a side dish. 

“Oh, yeah,” Kokichi laughed, holding their cups as Shuuichi poured out their drinks. “I think work lunch might have more connotations than what it was--I was eating with a bunch of the admins in what was basically just a step up from working through lunch? They were still catching me up to date on things while we were eating, and halfway through Am-chan and Stacchan came in. I’m pretty sure they wanted to steal me away for a ‘congrats you’re back at work!’ sort of thing, but they ended up joining. Am-chan was talking with Sakura a bunch about her work-out routine…”

Snorting, Kokichi shook his head a little. “Like…I’m never going to police someone’s sexuality, you know? But it’s crazy that she’s straight--she hits it off so well with women constantly. But it’s nice to make good friendships that way too.” 

Kaito gave Kokichi an amused look, reaching over to ruffle his hair a little as he said, “You single-sexuality folks always take me by surprise by how much you, like, mean it. I think a part of me always assumes there would be an exception–”

“And that you’d be it?” Shuichi asked, putting down the container and picking up his own glass to sip at it.

“Hey, I’m not that egotistical! …I mean, yes, but I can take no for an answer.” Kaito huffed, “Sometimes the dick or the sheer, masculine charm holds me back. What can ya do?”

“I probably would have assumed I was straight, before all of this.” Shuichi admitted, leaning back and relaxing against his arm a little, “My only real crush in life was Kaede, so if I had to guess what I would have been attracted to, if I was attracted to people, I would have guessed, well… big bosomed blonds. I cannot really express to you guys how surprised I was when I realized I was attracted to you both too. It really came out of nowhere for me.”

“God, I did not stand a chance as a kid, huh?” Kaito muttered, giving Shuichi an amused look, “And I can see why you would have thought Kaede, like, physically was what you’d lean towards. Thankfully, as my cousin, I never found myself attracted to her in that way… okay, I had one weird dream once as a kid, but I was horrified when I woke up and I think that’s what counts.” Kaito frowned, “But anyway, I can still appreciate she’s a very attractive woman. It’s not weird you’d be into her.”

“I wasn’t. I wasn't into anyone that way. I was just surprised I wasn’t exclusively into people like her once that became a thing for me.” Shuichi explained again. “Considering I grew up with you and Maki, it can be easy to forget bi-sexuality isn’t, like… common. It felt like I was surrounded by it, growing up.” 

Kokichi snickered softly, taking his chance to scoop up some ratatouille onto his plate, saving some sauce from dripping off with a slice of the still-warm bread they’d brought. “I mean…for people who are questioning? I could see you being a part of that. But for those of us souls who figured ourselves out real early, nah. There’s just nothing there.”

“I’ll count myself lucky, then, that I managed to get some Shuu-chan attraction. Don’t think it’d be ‘lock myself in a temple for a few weeks’ level, but that rejection would’ve stung real hard.” It was a little teasing, but Kokichi made sure to give his guys soft looks, making it clear he wasn’t actually poking into anything. 

Humming as he chewed, Kokichi made an unsure noise before shrugging. “I mean…it isn’t uncommon, I don’t think. Though I might’ve just been surrounded by it too.”

“...were you?” Kaito asked, giving Kokichi a curious look, “Who else do you know that’s bi? I mean, I guess I don’t really know the sexuality of anyone else in the castle, and it can be harder to tell for older folks whose love lives kind of paint a picture one way or another, regardless of how they actually feel about it…”

Kaito paused, trying to see if he could guess… before shaking his head, “Nope. No idea. Spill the tea, Kokichi! Who are my fellow ‘can’t decide one way or another’ degenerates?”

Shuichi was less interested than Kaito, but he made a small encouraging hum, being a rebel and dipping into the desserts first as he spooned out some strawberry-flan for himself.

Kokichi gave Kaito a mildly curious look before shrugging. He supposed it wouldn’t have been Kaito’s business, since, yanno, they were married. “Well, Lake-nee’s bi, and so is Hideki-ji, and Ikuo’s pan, so that’s close, and…well, Denji’s never used labels, but they like people of a lot of genders.”

…and Yasu was bi too, but…he wasn’t going to mention that. 

Snorting to himself, Kokichi laughed as a memory came to him. “I remember getting so upset, when I realized I was gay. I thought something was wrong with me, ‘cause I didn’t like all people--like that meant something terrible for my capacity to love. I was really worried at the time, but it’s kind of silly, looking back.”

“...Lake’s bi?” Kaito said, eyes widening slightly… before he shook his head. Didn’t matter. Aw, but man, Kaito from week one and two would have been excited to hear that. She had given such strong lesbian vibes to him. Though Hideki… hmm. He could see it. A thousand years ago, when the man was young, anyway. “I’m surprised by Ikou, actually. I kinda got the impression the guy was above dating. Not necessarily ‘ace’, but, like… I don’t know. Like he’s just too pure for the mortal sin of lust.”

“Pan just means he’s attracted to personality, doesn’t it?” Shuichi said, looking to Kaito, “Maybe you’re pan?”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty physically attracted to people too. Though, if I like them has a lot to do if I’m physically attracted to them too… though I also don’t really need to like them to be physically attracted to them… or to do more than ‘see’ them to be physically attracted… actually, admittedly? Getting to know someone can be the biggest turnoff for me. I can see them, think they’re attractive, and then they do something and it’s like, ah… nevermind. Not actually that interested.” Kaito mused. 

“But, awwww,” Kaito chuckled, reaching over to pull Kokichi into a half-hug, giving him some quick kisses before letting him get back to his meal, “Baby Kokichi mistook physical attraction for capacity to looooove. What a little baby noob. But that is kinda cute that you worried about it. It’s alright, baby Kokichi~ You can care about women and not want to bone them.”

“People have said some unkind things to you, Kaito, over being attracted to both.” Shuichi pointed out.

Kaito rolled his eyes, “I’m an attention seeking whore who just doesn’t want to ‘admit it’ whether I’m fully straight or fully gay. Yeeeep~ Doesn’t matter if I’m attracted to someone or not. I just want that sweeeet, sweeeet attention… I mean, they’re not entirely wrong. I do like attention. Doesn’t mean I’m willing to fake attraction to people to get it though.” Kaito paused, before shrugging, “Also, I am a little bit of a whore. Slut, promiscuous, loose, undiscerning… whatever you want to call it. Slur of the day. I do like to get around.”

“No one believes Maki is bi.” Shuichi said, rolling his eyes, “She’s just a lesbian who hasn’t committed.”

“Or straight and hasn’t committed, if she was dating or openly pining after me at the time.” Kaito pointed out, grinning somewhat sheepishly, “I caused her love life, just… so many issues. It’s really not fair what I put her through.”

Kokichi chuckled softly, though there was a careful undercurrent to it, knowing how Kaito could be talking about his sister and her life. “Yeah, I know. She hasn’t seriously dated anyone since you’ve moved here, so all you’ve seen is her and Nazumi bein’ all lovey-dovey, right? But, nah, she likes more than just women.”

“And since when is lust ‘sinful’?” Kokichi rolled his eyes, knowing that even bringing up Kaito’s perception of his dad was a losing battle. “My dad’s not…inhuman, you know? He has dated people. I’m just not all that interested in hearing all about his lovelife, as you might imagine.”

There was more to being pan than that, and at this point in life Kokichi was just content to leave labels with however the people that used them wanted to define them, but that was an interesting concept to think about, when it came to Kaito. He’d heard Kaito say before that, at least sometimes, he liked people until he knew them, but Kokichi knew Kaito better now, and…it wasn’t just that Kaito couldn’t abide by any flaw. Yeah, maybe he was mostly looking for a firework romance, but it wasn’t as ‘lover of the day’ as he played his reputation up to be. 

To Kokichi…maybe it was more like Kaito would assume, if not the best, then good enough in people, which informed their physical attractiveness to him, right up until they proved him wrong. Then it all went away. So…not exactly being attracted to people’s personalities, but…something close to that. 

Leaning into Kaito’s hug, Kokichi chuckled softly. “Silly, I know. What a concept, caring for people beyond them being attractive.” Though, the inverse wasn’t true either. Just because you found someone attractive didn’t mean you cared for them. 

Huffing, Kokichi shook his head a little. “You know, more and more I think Denji has the right idea. So many of the rumors and labels of other people are so…dumb. I know it’s…well, I was gonna say more pronounced but…I don’t think that’s true. It’s just important in a different way. So…I can’t exactly write off the very real ways rumors like that affected you guys,” Kokichi shrugged with a slightly regretful look, “But. Well.”

“Ah, how it affected me personally kind of comes and goes. When I’m feeling really confident and self-assured? I didn’t really care what anyone said.” Kaito mused, eating through his plate, “It’s only when I already feel that way about myself that anything they said gets to me. Hits different, when it feels like they’re just, ya know… confirming what you already think is true.”

“And also affects who will date you.” Shuichi pointed out.

“And also affected who would date me.” Kaito nodded, “And Maki. Well, rumors about me affected who would date Maki. But, then, I don’t know how much it really affected her ‘game’. Like, seriously, who’s gonna say no to Maki? You’d be lucky to get a shot with her.” Kaito said, looking a little offended at whatever random strawman he had created in his head, “Sure, she can be a little difficult to get along with… but beyond that! She’s sexy, she’s cool, she’s reliable, she’s resourceful, she’s–”

“Talking quite a bit about Maki on our anniversary date.” Shuichi pointed out dryly.

“...and Shuichi is intelligent and very cool and handsome and also very reliable and–”

Shuichi nodded, sipping at his drink. Allowing Kaito to go on.

Well, that was true. While Kokichi was of the mind that no matter how confident you were, eventually rumors could get tiring, but they were pretty easy to brush off when you were sure of yourself. When you were already thinking the worst of yourself? Rumors were just fanning the flames already there. 

Thankfully these days the rumors around their relationship weren’t too bad. People had stopped writing in, asking Kokichi if he was being held hostage, at least. 

Sopping up sauce with his bread, Kokichi gave Shuuichi an amused look as Kaito sang his praises. “Shuu-chan really is special. There’s a part of me that really regrets that we met in a life or death situation, more than just…yanno, for the situation itself. I never got to gush over how pretty you were to your face until way later. Might’ve put you off me, though, honestly.”

Shuichi smiled warmly at that, his diverted attention letting Kaito take a break, catching his breath from his stream of praises. “I think I might have been a little more shy and standoffish, without the life or death situation. I do understand what you mean though. If it hadn’t taken the pollen at all? If I was available in any realistic way, which I really just wasn’t before the pollen… then yes.” Shuichi said, looking a little shy and flattered as he looked demurely away, taking his hat off and covering his lower face with it a little, “It would have been… sweet.”

“I’d have enjoyed the competition.” Kaito imagined, especially considering the safety of it just being a hypothetical, “Like, okay, in this scenario, Shuichi is suddenly available and open to being flirted with? Oh-ho-ho-hooooo, Kokichi… I’d have wiped the floor with you, woo’ing wise.” Kaito smirked, his canines glinting as he gave Kokichi an openly appraising look, “I’d have swept his feet out from under him. Literally.”

“You probably would’ve been more endearing, yeah,” Kokichi laughed, getting himself some of the flan. “You two have the basis of friendship, a shared history, and Kai-chan actually knows how to date. Meanwhile, most of the guys I’d ever had an interest in I mostly had one nice conversation then never saw again. If that.”

Kokichi looked over at Kaito then, anything but kowed or showing defeat. “But man, I would’ve tried. A genius cutie like Shuu-chan coming to live at the castle? I would’ve been all over you, sweetheart. Always asking you questions and trying to get you to play with me and ending, like, every sentence making sure I told you how amazing I thought you were… Yeah, probably annoying, and not enough to win you over over Kai-chan’s attempts, but I’d hope to inspire at least a little flattery, here and there.”

Shuichi, again, looked even more flattered, still hiding his smile behind his hat… before huffing. Putting the hat back on as he said, “I think you’re giving yourself too little credit and also underestimating how very used to Kaito’s form of flirting I am. He’d struggle to surprise me, and you…” Shuichi demur looked suddenly shifted rapidly from sweet and shy to smug and, yes, a little leering as he reached over and in one swift movement, tilted Kokichi’s face up to get a better look at him, “...are very pretty. It’d be difficult to not be affected by anything you said.”

Kaito  hummed in agreement, popping a cherry in his mouth… before saying softly, “And now kiss.”

Shuichi gave Kaito an amused side-eye at that, before indeed giving Kokichi a small kiss. 

Kaito grinned wide, endlessly pleased by the sight… before his eyes suddenly widened. Looking fixatedly at Kokichi. “...I wanna see one.” He said. Looking excited. “One of your suitors. Come on… show me one.”

Smiling lovingly, Kokichi tilted his head into Shuuichi’s hand, looking pleased at the small kiss. “You know, I’d feel bad leveraging it, but I do think humility is some of my charm. I wouldn’t think I’d be able to win you over, but I’d still try. Shuu-chan blows my socks off too much to at least not put my name in the hat.”

Though that wasn’t exactly the mentality he had with others, and…

Kokichi gave Kaito a surprised look, before looking unsure. “Do they still count as suitors if I’m the one initiating? But…I mean, okay…” 

{A young man with delicate features, only accentuated with a bit of eyeliner and lip gloss. His grown-out lilac hair gently curled around a heart-shaped face, bangs effortlessly swept away from sharp eyes. He looked calm, yet discerning, his clothes in darker hues than typical summer fare, as he appraised market goods.}

Kaito’s eyes sparkled a little. “Oooooh… pretty. Reminds me of Shuichi a little.”

“Me?” Shuichi frowned, musing over the image a little, “Why? Because of the darker clothes?”

“Nah, the eyes. Kokichi must have a thing for intelligent eyes.” Kaito said, entirely pleased to get a glimpse of Kokichi’s taste, if Kaito hadn’t been thrust into his life. Kaito was always happy to learn more about his partners, as he asked, “Did you end up approaching him? How’d it go?”

“I could see that, a little,” Kokichi laughed. “I mean…I did tell you that Shuu-chan was my type.”

Sighing, Kokichi shook his head a little, taking a few cherries from the container. “His name was Regulus--named after a star. I was probably…16? And he was around the same. He was on a school trip to the city, and was looking for neat souvenirs to bring back to his mom. I offered to show him around to a few shops, and we chatted while we walked. Neat guy, though pretty reserved. The kind of guy that you get the sense he’s hiding his side of the chess board, right?”

Groaning a little, Kokichi ran an embarrassed hand over his eyes. “When we parted, it turned out he knew exactly who I was. I was mortified… Told him all sorts of nonsense and turns out he knew I was full of shit from the start.”

“I mean…I obviously never learned my lesson from that,” Kokichi gave Kaito an amused look, “But still…it was embarrassing. Couldn’t quite keep up the interest of why someone would just let me go on, back then.”

“I mean, if he knew and didn’t stop you, maybe he thought it was cute?” Kaito wondered, shrugging a little, “I’d have thought it was cute. I like your mischief side… well, maybe not the ‘fake jumping spiders’ thing… or the…” Kaito paused, “No, really, that’s the only prank I can remember you pulling on me. But the lying thing is cute.”

“...”

“Shuichi, I can literally, like, feel you making fun of that sentence.” Kaito told him, giving him a dry look, “Like, on my skin. Like a sarcastic layer of phlegm, just… allllll over me.”

“Gross.” Shuichi said, sipping at his glass, “Kokichi, if you had had the chance, what do you think you would have tried to convince me of? As in, who would you have pretended to be with me? You pretended to be a child with Kaito–”

“Wellllll, not… explicitly.” Kaito pointed out uncomfortably, “I just assumed, Kokichi never said that.”

Kokichi tugged the back of his hair sheepishly. “Yeah… Like, I knew that’s what a lot of people assumed of me, but it’s not an idea I deliberately put out there. But I never corrected it when I caught on that’s what they thought. It’s really telling, how people treat kids.”

“What I would’ve spun for Shuu-chan, though…hmmm…” Kokichi tilted his head side-to-side, trying to think about it. “If I give myself the advantage of knowing Shuu-chan would be pretty disinterested with the ‘normal guy’ stuff I did a lot, then… Maybe a journalism student. Really lean into getting curious with you. Though that might just make you clam up more, if you didn’t get competitive with it.”

Smirking to himself, Kokichi gave his fiance a wink. “Maybe we would’ve gotten really sweaty, competing against each other trying to read and deduce things about people passing by. That sounds like a fun thing I’d try to goad you into.”

Kaito’s eyes immediately went distant. Shuichi gave him a somewhat judgy look, before guessing aloud, “‘get really sweaty’ do it to you?”

“You two would have gotten… so sweaty together… working hard… deducing.” Kaito said dreamily. 

“Well, I like that idea. I do get fairly competitive, and some random, pretty man appearing to try to show me up?” Shuichi smirked, “That does sound like a fun way to be flirted with. Perhaps observing people and trying to make deductions based on what they’re wearing and what they’re doing… no real way to confirm anything, but it could be fun just doing very elaborate people watching.”

“So, it wasn’t just me, then?” Kaito asked, blinking as the vision in his mind faded, “I wasn’t the only person you played the ‘kid’ act on? Or at least let us believe it… wait, I was about to ask how those other versions went, but it just occurred to me…” Kaito openly pouted, “Did I get the ‘kid’ lie because you were just that un-into me? Like, you definitely weren’t flirting with me…aww. What the heck, ‘Kichi, I didn’t stand a chance at all?”

“Hah.” Shuichi smirked, “I would have won.”

Kokichi sighed. He should’ve seen that coming. But, well, at least Shuuichi seemed to like the idea. 

Though Kokichi could only sigh again, giving Kaito a half-annoyed, half-apologetic look. “I told you, I never tried to make anyone think I was a kid on purpose…though in fairness, for most of my life, that was just because I was actually a kid. Going up to strangers and asking if they were lost, or needed a shopping tip, or…whatever, like that, was something I said to almost everyone.”

Looking more sheepish, Kokichi rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging. “Anyone who said yes was more likely to be from out of town. So…potentially more interesting stories for me, and safer to talk to, to avoid being recognized.”

Kaito just pouted further, huffing as he dug into some asparagus, “Maaaaaan… literally had to marry a guy to have a chance. Between you and Mr. ‘Thanks for the Confession’ over here, how the heck did I land either of you? You guys make me work too hard.”

“I like watching you work hard.” Shuichi whispered. 

“...” Kaito eyes went distant again. 

Shuichi laughed a little, before returning his attention to Kokichi. “I’d have been lucky, honestly, if you had approached me in a crowd. I know that, post-pollen, if I had seen you I would have thought you were… pretty and interesting and a little intimidating. I’d have never approached you, I’d have been too shy. And if you had approached me? I would have been incredibly flattered.”

Kokichi patted Kaito’s shoulder sympathetically. “But you did land us. And I’m very happy for it. Turns out branching out of your tastes really can expand your palette.”

…yeah, he hadn’t had a choice about it. So what. He still had chosen to give Kaito a chance, and let himself fall in love. And what he said was true--he was really happy where they were.

“I think that’s the best I could hope for, through my awed fumbling,” Kokichi giggled, giving Shuuichi a fond look. “I would’ve fallen over myself, amazed that such a handsome guy could ever exist… You would’ve looked so cool and mysterious, and then if I managed to luck my way into having a conversation? Finding out you’re brilliant and driven and, just, so smug… I would’ve hoped on anything you were staying in town for more than a day.”

Shuichi smiled at that, just looking endlessly pleased. Kaito stared at that expression, basking in it a little. He really did love Shuichi… he liked him best when Shuichi was happy and proud and confident and flattered…

Though, admittedly, Kaito had a guilty pleasure when Shuichi’s brow suddenly pinched together, a small, offended huff as he said,  “Smug?”

“You get so smug, handsome.” Kaito grinned, leaning towards him and taking Shuichi’s pouting face into his hands, giving him delighted little kisses until that pinch expression eased. “Honestly, it’s one of my favorite things about you and always has been. I’ll never forget the first conversation we ever had… you were so offended when I tried to argue with you that I had nothing to do with the broken items. Like, how dare I try to tell such an obvious lie to the apprentice of the royal detective… Kokichi, have I ever told you the story of how Shuichi and I met?”

“I’ve told him.” Shuichi said, trying very hard not to smile and failing. “You stalked me for ages and then laid out a path of destruction for me to follow. And then had the nerve to look me in the eyes and say my deduction was wrong.”

“You were so pissed.” Kaito coo’d, grinning wide as he stole another kiss, “God, I fell in love with you so fast.”

Kokichi giggled, looking on adoringly as Kaito soothed Shuuichi’s proud offense. “I really don’t mean it as a negative trait, sweetheart. You are right about a lot, and it’s one of my favorite things to see you demand it of the world, not taking any subterfuge or playing any games. Or when you’re seeing results you knew would happen, and you’re just basking in it. One of my favorite Shuu-chan expressions.”

Sitting a little more on his side, Kokichi smiled at his partners. “It’s such a cute story… Though I can imagine how nerve-wracking it was on your end until the last bit, Shuu-chan. I’ve seen Kai-chan as a kid…imagining him trying so hard to impress a tiny you? The cutest.”

“Miya’s gonna be so exasperated with us, when we tell her how we all met,” he snorted, shaking his head. “Like…can’t we do anything non-dramatic?”

“Oh, it was incredibly nerve-wracking, for quite some time.” Shuichi agreed, gently pushing at Kaito’s chest, who allowed himself to be pushed back. “But seeing that goading little grin, scratches on his hand and kicking the air up on that second floor like he didn’t have a care in the world… all I wanted in the world was too…”

Shuichi’s eyes widened a little in surprise… before he flushed a little. Putting his hand over his mouth and looking away, a little embarrassed, as he murmured softly to himself, “Oh, no, it started so young.”

“What, realizing you always enjoyed putting me in my place, handsome?” Kaito snickered, picking up his glass and sipping at it. Chuckling as Shuichi just groaned into his hand. “It’s alright. I always had a lot of fun with it.”

“Shut up, Kaito.” Shuichi groaned, covering his face, genuinely embarrassed. Kaito chuckled for a bit at that, leaning back on his arms and enjoying the gentle breeze and the warm air, watching kids in the distant play…

“...I can’t wait to tell her about all of it.” Kaito admitted, eyes warm and distant. Back in daydream mode, but this one far less lewd then what he usually got lost in. “She’s so small and precious and wonderful, and I know I’ll miss these days when they’re gone… but I’m so excited to really get to know her. To watch her grow up. A kid with a new best friend every week, a teenager with hobbies I don’t understand and woes I painfully do, not that she’ll believe me… I can’t wait to know the woman she’ll end up being. To see the choices she’ll make and the kind of person she’ll turn out. I’m so excited to know her…”

“...and yeah.” Kaito grinned, his eyes refocusing, “I hope she thinks we’re ridiculous. And I hope she thinks that because she’s making better choices than us, by that age. Our age. She’ll hear about all the stupid shit we did and she’ll sigh and think to herself, ‘what dumbass children.’ And she’ll be right.”

It wasn’t always to a sexual degree, Kokichi could tell even having not known Shuuichi and Kaito for most of their relationship, but…yeah. Shuuichi was the kind of person that liked being right, and loved being right when people, especially confident or more powerful people were convinced they were right, but were wrong. 

Honestly that kind of reminded Kokichi of the stories his uncle had told about Hideki in their teens, but…that wasn’t a comparison Kokichi wanted to make. Maybe ever, but certainly not right now. 

“She’s going to be incredible,” Kokichi sighed softly, glowing with hope. “It’s hard to tell if she’ll keep it, but she already has some of Shuu-chan’s smugness. Though not without excitement, I hope the paths of her life seem clear-cut to her, so she can just roll her eyes at the nonsense we waded through.”

After a moment, Kokichi laughed a little to himself, before giving an excited look to his partners. “The other day? She and Little Lamb went on a dream adventure together, doing something that made them go ‘do you wanna go upside down’ over and over. It was almost like having a roller-coaster dream, I think.”

“Awwww, oh no, my sweet baby might be a little baby thrill seeker.” Kaito groaned, looking delighted and horrified at the same time, “She’ll worry me so much.”

“Just wait until she starts walking.” Shuichi sighed, “I still think it’s bizarre she enjoys those morning runs so much. I keep waiting for you to come in one morning with her screaming her head off, but nooooo, it’s always little red cheeks and giggles. Ugh, she’s going to be a jock.”

“I think she just really likes the wind blowing against her face.” Kaito grinned. “Also, I’m so glad she likes Little Lamb enough to go on little dream adventures with it. Ikuo’s gift was so sweet, I was really hoping she’d imprint onto it.”

“You have a favorite grandfather and you want her to have a favorite too.” Shuichi accused him.

“...nooooooo.” Kaito said, looking away. “Come oooooon… noooooo. I’m sure Miyako will love Grandpa Aiichi and Grandpa Ikuo equally… even though one of them tries so much harder to connect to her and makes her little baby gifts and babysits all the time… Aiichi toooootally has a shot at favorite grandpa.”

“She’ll probably like Ikuo more,” Kokichi said simply, looking at the wind rustling the leaves on the trees surrounding the park. Nothing bitter in his tone, but not excited or vindicated either. “I like him more, and, well, I don’t think I’ve asked, but I get the impression you guys like him more too. So…that’ll affect her opinion, when she’s still looking to us for cues, and, yeah, Ikuo’s around more, so that’ll help her form her own opinion.”

Kokichi traced a pattern on the blanket under him. “I love both my dads…but I like Ikuo more. It’s not a long shot to assume that Miyako would end up feeling similarly.”

“Look, I’m sure Miyako will appreciate Aiichi more when she’s older. He’s very much a… an adult’s adult.” Kaito mused, crossing his legs and, with a small thump, laying himself back on the blanket. Putting his arms behind his head and closing his eyes as he was content to lay off the food for now, just laying in the sun, “When she’s older and looking for advise on how to handle competition and enemies and job opportunities and her daddy is too busy and dada and dad’s answers are unhelpfully insane–”

“Rude, I’d give great advice.” Shuichi muttered.

“--then she can go to Aiichi… whose answers will be helpfully insane.” Kaito grinned, “I mean, she could go to Ikuo too, but as much as I love that guy, he doesn’t make great life decisions. He’s just a good person. A really, really good person.” Kaito said, eyes going dreamy–

Shuichi snapped his fingers in front of Kaito’s face. “Nope. No. Stay with us.”

“I am so here.” Kaito sighed dreamily, idly waving Shuichi’s snapping fingers away, “My point is, they’ll both be good men for her, in different times of her life. Same as Aiichi’s going to be good for Kokichi, at a different part of his life. He sucks at kids. But Kokichi’s an adult now. You guys get to have a different relationship now.” Kaito said looking over to Kokichi, “It’s a good thing. I’m happy for you.”

Kokichi sighed, but he looked over at Kaito with a small smile. “...thank you. I’m not… I do want her to have a good relationship with Aiichi. You know…I want her to be genuinely excited to spend time with her grandfather. And…maybe that relationship will only really bloom when she gets older. But I’m hoping that she doesn’t grow up with people in her life that she resents. Or will resent.”

He sighed again, running a hand through his hair. “...we really are trying to make things work between us. And it is working. But…sometimes it’s hard not to resent my father. He knows that, I know that…we’re working on it.”

Shuichi nodded slightly… before he smirked a bit. A sudden memory coming to him as he picked at one of the cherries. “Perhaps it’d help to smack a dream version of him in the face.”

Kaito raised an eyebrow at that, shifting up to lay propped up on her arm, giving Shuichi a curious look at that, “That feels too pointed to be as random as it sounded. You guys been slapping dream people?”

“Once.” Shuichi laughed lightly, “Kokichi was once trying to help me with some issues, and we thought giving me the opportunity to yell at some memories, essentially, would help. Harmless bit of venting, you know? Unfortunately, because the memories were under my control, they snarked back a bit… really should have seen that coming, honestly, of course they’d act how I envision them.” Shuichi sighed, before smiling again, “But a highlight of that whole affair was Kokichi, just, out of nowhere slapping one of the memories across the face. It caught me so off guard that entire memories just disappeared at that exact moment. It was kind of amazing, even if it was only pretend.”

“Wow, Kokichi. Didn’t know you had that in you.” Kaito said, giving Kokichi a genuinely curious look at that, “You know, I didn’t think you’d like the Rage Room place Maki took me too, but maybe you guys would have more fun there then I thought…”

Kaito’s voice trailed off, looking curiously over at Shuichi… before he smiled tiredly, “Do I want to know who the memory was of?”

“I’ll tell you if you ask.”

“...eh.” Kaito sighed, laying back down on his back, closing his eyes, “I’m sure whoever it was deserved it.”

“Mmhm.”

“...okay, but seriously, was it my mom?”

“Right across the face.”

“Holy shit.” Kaito laughed, before covering his face, “Oh nooooo, don’t laugh at the idea of my husband smacking my dead mother across the face… oh, that shouldn’t be funny… fuck. Did she look surprised?” Kaito asked, looking at Shuichi between his fingers, “What did she do?”

“Tried to yell at us, but I dismissed the memory before she could. It was too good, I couldn’t bare to let her have the last word.” Shuichi smirked lightly… before saying, “Sorry, Kaito.”

“God that’s so fucked up.” Kaito groaned into his hands, “...ah well. It’s just a memory. Fuck it, I hope it was as cathartic as it kinda sounds.”

Kokichi snorted, a sound that was both startled and amused. “Maybe… On a day I’m particularly pissed at him. But I’m not sure if it’d actually feel that good normally. He’d probably let me get a good hit in in real life, if I asked…I think I’d be too frustrated, even with a memory.”

He felt like he’d said that before, sans the memory stuff. Probably to Kaito. Kokichi had never liked watching, but knowing how…whole-heartedly his father went into Epahkota requests… Well, maybe there still was some satisfaction against a willing opponent.

Kokichi looked off to the side, twirling a piece of hair sheepishly as Shuuichi explained one of their dream excursions. At first, he was glad Shuuichi omitted exactly who he’d lashed out against, but…

“...I tried to punch Tengan once, too, though that was the real Tengan,” Kokichi softly huffed, before giving Kaito a semi-apologetic look. Though…Kaito seemed to be taking it well. 

“Kokichi’s got a viscous side to him.” Kaito mused, staring up at the fading light of the day. “Just like both of his fathers, I suppose. Have you heard of the ‘Aiichi Temper’ Shuichi? People swear to me it exists. Apparently he does what I do. As in, fuck whichever poor room he’s currently in. Man… who would I punch in the face if I could…”

“Tengan as well?” Shuichi offered, “I’d punch him too, honestly. Or, no… poison.”

“Eh, maybe. Honestly, sometimes I wish I could just have a conversation with that guy. Just… confirm what all of that really was, one way or another. I mean, I know I already know, but… it’d be… something. Nice? To hear him admit it. That I didn’t…” Kaito sighed, sitting up as he finally spooned out some of that ratatouille. “...I’d love to hit Chisa. No, that’s a lie, I’d love to rip her apart. Is that weird? That I’d prefer to imaginary hit someone who hurt Kokichi instead. Her, Nao… I get more physically angry at the people who hurt you guys. The people who hurt me I just really want to talk too. Like, just sit down and have a conversation with them, but they can’t just fucking… talk over me and fucking hang up the damn phone whenever they fucking want too.” Kaito muttered, angrily shoving some of the meal into his mouth… before his eyes lit up, “What the heck even is this? This is really good.”

Kokichi shrugged a little helplessly. “I’d like to think it says something that I’ve only tried stuff like that where physical damage doesn’t really count.” Though…in the case of Tengan, where it had been against a real person and not a memory…that would still cause some amount of damage out in the physical world. But considering the kind of things that harmed him, Kokichi really doubted a punch from him would’ve done much anyway. 

“I don’t think it’s that weird,” Kokichi sighed. “For the people that’ve harmed me, I just want to forget them. But…everyone I’ve wanted to do real harm to have been people that were awful to you guys. I bet Dr. Mariah would have something poignant to say about that.”

Looking over, amused, Kokichi grinned at Kaito. “It’s ratatouille? It’s like…braised squashes and eggplant in a tomato sauce. I think. Has that real, fill your stomach, stick to your ribs kinda taste, right? Like eating a hug by a hearth.”

“A hug by a hearth. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more Dicean saying in my life.” Kaito chuckled, shaking his head a bit as he had some more. “You guys and your fireplaces.”

“I think it’s interesting, how you talk to people at times, Kaito.” Shuichi mused, some of that bringing back old memories. “Do you remember talking to Hifumi for hours at the library? A guardsman literally sent for me to try to wrangle you out, just to let the library close.”

“And you sent Maki, like a total jerk.” Kaito recalled, “That was during her ‘needle’ phase too. Man, that hurt… was pretty fun watching him yelp about it too though.” Kaito grinned. “Poor bastard.”

“He did it to himself.” Shuichi said, “He really did. Everyone warned him, including you.”

“Yeah.” Kaito said, before looking to Kokichi and shrugging a little, “Hifumi was this jerk who kept trying to, like, neg me into sleeping with him. He was really nice at first, but he got really mean the second he realized that my ‘sleep with everyone’ reputation wasn’t going to extend to him. It just kinda put me off, how much he was expecting it. Like, he was blatant about it, ya know? Like one mediocre date was some sort of ‘payment’ for my services.” 

“But, Hifumi was famous for his porn. Like, this man made incredible porn.” Kaito mused, looking back to the sky, “It was really impressive. Beautiful artwork, exciting stories, characters you wanted to root for. I was really excited to meet him because I loved his work, agreed to go onto a date with him, and then, whelp… god, he wouldn’t stop making these really leading comments about what the day was leading towards. Every other thing he said was about what I was going to ‘do’ for him. Really off putting. So, date ended, and the dumbass got left behind without so much as a kiss… is this a bad story to tell right now?” Kaito asked, looking to both of them, “This is our date, sorry. Also, the ending is kinda rough. I mean, no one knows for sure what happened to the guy, but the story ends with us never seeing him again. Should I skip it?”

Shuichi shrugged, “I don’t mind personally. I halfway brought it up.”

Hmmm…it probably was a pretty Dicean saying, wasn’t it. Did Luminous buildings even have fireplaces? Kokichi couldn’t remember seeing any, in any of the memories he’d seen. Wild. 

…Kaito had a lot of wild stories. 

Kokichi’s eyebrows knitted together as Kaito told a story of…not a past partner, but a past something, frowning a bit, and flushing at the mention that the guy apparently made mindblowing porn, but…

…somehow, Kokichi doubted no one knew what happened to him. 

Making a halfway uncomfortable noise, Kokichi shrugged a bit. “...I dunno. It…honestly makes me pretty sad, hearing about people harassing you, Kai-chan, and especially if it leads to a disappearance…that’s really dark.” He took a small breath. “...but it’s still something real that happened to you, and…if you wanna share, I’ll listen.”

“It’s not that much of a story.” Kaito said, deciding he’d try to just simplify it and move on. He liked to talk about whatever came to mind, but he didn’t like how his stories tended to put his husband in these uncomfortable positions. “The guy was just one of those idiots who liked to tell tall tales. So even though I never touched him, boy, did he decide to go around telling everyone all the ‘things’ we did together.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes. “Which, ya know what? Fine. Whatever. But he was stupid enough to draw them down… I was so pissed. I cornered him in the library after a while, and yeah, like Shuichi said. Basically argued with him about it for hours, till someone was finally called to separate us. I just wanted him to listen. To understand how fucked up it was and get him to admit it. And also tell him how incredibly stupid it was to pull this on the Second Son. He was so confident that it’d never get back to any of my family… I still can’t figure out why he was so confident about that. He talked like my family lived on a different planet. Like he barely thought they were real.”

“I think for a lot of people, the royal family probably did just feel like a portrait or a story or some wealthy, political void.” Shuichi said, adjusting his hat a little to air out his temples, “Untouchable, but also so distant as to never actually be personally touched by them. When you shout at the void, you don’t expect it to say anything back.”

“Well, I sure as fuck was there to shout back at him. He should have taken that as the massive hint it was that he wasn’t actually invisible.” Kaito huffed. “Anyway, yeah. The inevitable happened and he was just gone one day. If he was smart he ran and that was the end of it. Maybe he was smart… I miss his work, sometimes. I got rid of all my copies because it left a bad taste in my mouth after that, but to his credit, he really did draw me beautifully. Proportionally inaccurate, but beautiful.”

It was like Kaito had just said. He wanted apologies, and remorse from the people who had wronged him. Honestly…Kokichi was of two minds of it. To him…for the people who had truly wronged him, he knew that they didn’t actually feel remorse. The fact was just that they didn’t care how he had been hurt, and had never wanted to consider his feelings in the first place. Explaining why they had been wrong was like explaining to a vulture why they should make their own kills--it simply was never the intention, and in fact counter to what they wanted. 

It wasn’t so much that they were cartoonishly evil, thinking, ‘oh, yes, let’s do bad things on purpose’ but rather…they simply didn’t care about others. And if someone didn’t, explaining why they should was…difficult, to the point of futility, most of the time. 

Kokichi sighed softly as, distantly, something pinged in his memory. “I mean…you guys have explained how separated all the economic classes are in Luminary. I can imagine it’s hard to really see people in other classes as…people, unless you consciously make an effort to spend time with different people. Still…that does seem concerningly risky to, yanno…make a deep-fake of someone who enjoys your work. That they didn’t commission, I guess.”

“The guy was just arrogant. Everyone warned him.” Kaito muttered. His brow pinched and his eyes a little distant as he said, “It’s not my fault. I told him… anyway. Forget it, he was a jerk anyway. I don’t have to feel bad about every moron who messed themselves up thinking it’d be fun to mess with me.” Kaito said, setting down his plate and crossing his chest, an irritated look on his face as he realized, “Dammit, I upset myself. That’s so stupid… sorry guys.”

“Talking about people we’d want to argue with if we still could was inevitably going to lead to one of us talking about something that upset us.” Shuichi said, not looking put off by it. It was a date, sure, but it was also just the three of them hanging out together at the park, eating some food. Their conversations could often go in random directions, and Shuichi wasn’t put off that it had dipped into a more serious one. It was very on brand for them, really. “Do you… want a hug?”

Kaito lit up at that, scooting around the blanket and seeming to take it as an invitation to just fully envelope Shuichi in a hug, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head on his shoulder and his chest on Shuichi’s back. “Mmmmm… you’re soft and wonderful and I love you. Can I say again how glad I am we’re engaged? I love you.”

“I know. I love you too… Kokichi, do you want to split the rest of the flan with me? Otherwise I’m going to eat all of it. This has all been really good.”

“Yes, please!”

-

“...Kaito, you’re heavy.” Shuichi whined, wrapping his arms a little tighter around Kokichi’s, the two walking in step in what would be a near idyllic walk across the garden trail they were using to cross the residential area… if Kaito hadn’t decided how he wanted to walk was with his arms draped over Shuichi’s shoulder, leaning heavily against his back, head resting on the top of his head as he walked in step with them. Well, tried to walk in step with them. Kaito’s steps were always a little wider than either of theirs, and going strictly a pace behind them had him shuffling a little, short, quick steps as he lazily used Shuichi as a walking post.

“I’m good exercise, handsome.” Kaito told him contently, closing his eyes as he leaned heavier on him, Shuichi grumbling indecipherably beneath him, “And I’m not that heavy.”

“I can’t lift you. You’re going to topple all of us over.”

“Who’s asking you to lift me? I’m close to you, not on top of you.”

“It’s like a mountain latched onto me.” Shuichi muttered to Kokichi, ignoring Kaito’s little chuckle at that.

Kokichi squeezed his arm around Shuuichi gently, nuzzling his head into his shoulder from where he had it resting on his fiance. It really was an ambulatory dogpile on Shuuichi, right then. “A very good-looking mountain,” Kokichi nodded, “And one that never does that to me, because he has an old man back that would give out if he leaned down that far. A pity, really…”

He let out a puff of a sigh. “...how many months have I been saying I need to get back into training now? Geez… Maybe I should take a page out of your book, Kai-chan, and take Miya-Miya out with me to get some exercise when I look after her in the afternoon. I know I gotta pay attention to how long I hunch over things at my desk again.”

“Mmmm… you hunched over desks…”

“Kaito, don’t think horny thoughts draped over me.” Shuichi sighed, adjusting his wrap around Kokichi’s arm again, doing his best to wrangle the two cuddly morons right now. Where was Maki when he needed her? She’d have shut this down by now. Shuichi was too out of shape himself for this nonsense. 

“Sorry, Shuichi. It’s the only place my brains going when you’re this close to me.” Kaito told him, placing a small kiss on the back of his head, still content to keep his eyes closed as he shuffled along, “And who has an old man back? I can’t bend myself down into a hamburger bun to rest on your shoulder, Kokichi, but I’ll pick you up and keep you if you keep slandering me like this. See who has a bad back then… arms full of ‘Kichi.”

“Restarting training after taking a long break is honestly the worst part of it.” Kaito added in after a moment, finally opening up his eyes and peeking over Shuichi’s shoulder down to Kokichi, giving him a lazy little shrug, “Getting over that beginning hump is just… ugh. But, Miyako makes a pretty good motivator. She giggles the faster you run. Little thrill-seeking baby~”

“I don’t see how that proves me wrong,” Kokichi snorted softly. “What, you can’t comfortably walk around leaning down at a…what, 30 degree angle? Ridiculous. Clearly you’re just old and decrepit.” 

It was the worst part of it… It wasn’t like Kokichi had given up exercising entirely…basically since his attack. He had gone through physical therapy, of course, and in the moments he could scrounge together he always tried to set up a little routine of something he could do in their room. But it wasn’t the same as getting all together for an hour or so in the mornings, stretching and running and learning all sorts of active things. 

Maybe he could take up running on his own in his free time, though. Even if just ‘going for a run’ had always felt kind of useless to Kokichi, when he wasn’t running to anywhere.

But his baby was a good motivator. 

“She is, isn’t she?” Kokichi laughed fondly. “She loves going up and down and being spun… I think a lot of kids do, but it makes me happy to see she likes it so much even as young as she is. Honestly…I don’t think my form is as smooth as yours, but if I go slower, maybe it’ll still be comfortable for her. I think the added weight training for me would make up for the speed.”

Kokichi grinned wider. “And the bonding time is incomparable, of course.”

“Plus, as a bonus… it’d be adorable to watch.” Kaito sighed contently. “...though, con. You running around with my baby is going to make it difficult to be lewd and weird and watch you guys run around in those short-shorts you wear.”

“I don’t wear short-shorts?” Shuichi pointed out.

“Not yet, but I’ll wear you down eventually.” Kaito muttered. Straightening up with a sudden sigh, stretching his arms high over his head until he felt something satisfyingly snap in ihs neck and back, stretching out his neck… before he said, “Alright. Kokichi time.”

Moving over to Kokichi, Kaito stopped their small walk, placing his hands firmly on both of Kokichi’s shoulders. Squeezing them as he bent down to Kokichi– indeed far too far down to walk comfortably– as he whispered in Kokichi’s ear, “Want to be, like… reeeaal tall?”

“You’d look nice in short-shorts,” Kokichi sighed wistfully. “Shuu-chan has great legs. And it’s nice, feeling the sun and air as you walk around. Especially in summer, I just feel like I walked into a pool with jeans on, if I wear pants. Though…they do kinda suck if you have a leather chair--nothing fun about peeling yourself off something like that.”

Again, he nuzzled Shuuichi’s shoulder. “...but I know you prefer pants. And you do make me worry less about making sure you’re dressed warmly enough when it’s cold.”

As Kaito decided it was time to switch targets, Kokichi tilted his head a little, looking back at Kaito out of the corner of his eye without pushing his hand or face away with his jaw. The contact was nice, but… 

“...nnnnnoooo,” Kokichi brattily drawled, pouting a bit. “I have my arm around Shuu-chan… I can’t do that if I’m tall.”

“Gasp!” Kaito said, giving Kokichi a blatantly hurt look, straightening up and looking incredulous at him, “Rejected?? For Shuichi!??? Shuichi, did you see that shit?”

“You’re asking Kokichi to give up a warm, soft, Shuichi to lean on to be thrust up into the cold, distant sky, Kaito.” Shuichi huffed, a small, proud smirk on his face, “For what? To sit on your shoulders?”

“To have my head between his legs!”

“Kaito! Don’t shout that.” Shuichi hissed, suddenly looking around, “Honestly, you do these things just to embarrass us.”

Kaito shrugged a little, putting his hands behind his back and walking around them, using his long strides to his advantage as he walked a few paces ahead of them, nose in the air. “Whatever. I see I’m not appreciated here. You two can be cute and sexy on your own. I can be a strong, independent Kaito who walks by himself.”

“Noooooooo!” Kokichi whined, putting his heart into it, though he wasn’t speaking all that loud. As much fun as it could be to mess around…he would be just as embarrassed as Shuuichi to disturb people like this. “I mean…you can be a strong, independent Kai-chan who can walk on his own. But I can be a very Lucky ‘Kichi that can have my arms around Shuu-chan while Kai-chan has his arms around me. You can have your turn with both of us cuddling up to you in a seeeeeecond.”

He pouted more at Kaito, bringing out the puppy-dog eyes even without waiting for Kaito to turn back around. “I’ll even brave the sky for you then, if that’s really what you want. Subject myself to tall-ness.”

Kaito huffed at that. Practically able to feel Kokichi’s eyes boring into his back and valiantly not looking as he said, “Maybe you don’t deserve tallnes, Kokichi. Maybe I’ll make Shuichi tall instead. Then you don’t have Shuichi and you’re still hugging the earth down there.”

“You can’t carry me on your shoulders, Kaito.” Shuichi said dryly, “I’m too heavy.”

“GASP!” 

Kaito turned on a dime, glaring at both of them. “Oh, that’s a challenge.”

“It’s just a fact.” Shuichi shrugged, “You’re going to hurt yourself if you try, Kaito.”

Kaito narrowed his eyes… before he rolled his shoulder a little, heading back to them. “Back up, Kokichi, Shuichi’s about to be a damn giant.”

Kokichi had pouted more, and was going to insist he’d throw a tantrum as a grown-ass adult if Kaito took his Shuuichi away, but as Kaito got the gleam of competition in his eyes, Kokichi faltered, giving his partners a concerned look. “Kai-chan, I think this is a really bad idea… I don’t doubt you could give Shuu-chan a piggyback ride or something, but… Your neck is really important, hun…”

As mildly embarrassing as it was to think about, Kokichi was only around 20 pounds heavier than Tim. Neither of them the easiest to brace on shoulders, but doable for someone with Kaito’s strength and knowledge of how to lift safely. Shuuichi…was significantly heavier than Kokichi. Like…over twice as heavy. And while, like he said, Kaito could still lift him at all…

“Guys…” Kokichi cautioned not without a tense sort of worry, looking between them.

“Relax, ‘Kichi, your Kaito’s a damn bull. I can pick this guy up.” Kaito grinned, rubbing his shoulders a little as he gave Shuichi a cocky look. “Want me to swoop you up, or do you want me to square down so you can adjust how you want to–WHA!”

Shuichi, giving Kaito an even, unimpressed look, gently pushed Kokichi back a little, giving Kaito and him space together as Kaito moved closer, leering down at him… before, with a careful, smooth swipe of his leg, toppled Kaito over his side, falling into Shuichi’s waiting arm and, quicker than anyone could react, Shuichi putting his other arm beneath Kaito’s knees, pulling him up into his arms in one, clean swoop. 

Kaito froze in Shuichi’s arms, looking around in wild alarm as he felt the truly bizarre feeling of nothing but air beneath his feet. His stuttering brain trying to figure out what the hell just happened as he looked up at Shuichi… before he blushed bright red. “Holy shit, Shuichi. That was amazing!”

“....”

“.... straining too much to speak?” Kaito grinned, seeing the tense, red look in Shuichi’s face, feeling him start to tremble. “Awww. Still super impressive though! Okay, put me down, handsome.”

“Phwoo!” Shuichi huffed, letting Kaito’s legs drops as the taller man laughed, Shuichi quickly pulling his other arm back once Kaito would safely just thump down onto the dirt. Shuichi groaning as he leaned down on his knees, placing a hand on his aching back, “Oooow….”

“Not as easy as I make it look, huh?” Kaito snickered from the dirt. 

Fretting at the side, Kokichi let Shuuichi push him back, at first giving his fiance an incredulous look since…there was no way Shuuichi was just going along with it, right? Oh, he’d absolutely watch on as Kaito tried, but knowing that there was a risk of not-insignificant injury, there was no way…

But the smug confidence coming off of Shuuichi calmed Kokichi before he’d even moved his leg forward. 

Still, the show was quite something, and Kokichi watched on with an awed little, “Oh…”, his cheeks pink and eyes wide and interested. “Wow…I guess we can have a whole other category on ‘Prince Hefting’, with, yanno, more than one competitor…”

A different category, because while, it turned out, Shuuichi could lift Kaito up… 

Kokichi smiled softly, giving a short round of applause before he came over, gently rubbing Shuuichi’s back. 

…there was no way Shuuichi was gonna even take a step with him. 

“Our Shuu-chan is so strong~” Kokichi praised, looking over Shuuichi warmly before giving Kaito a more teasing look. “Don’t ask me to give it a shot. I could probably roll you over in bed, but that’s a stretch depending on how dead you are to the world.”

“Oh, ‘Kichi…” Kaito reached over, grabbing Kokichi’’s hand and kissing the back of it a bit, giving him a fond look between kisses, “...it’s cute you think you could roll me over.”

“See, this is why I have to put you in your place sometimes.” Shuichi muttered, finally standing back up, wincing as his back twinged warningly at him. Ignoring Kaito’s chuckle at that, as he reached over to pull Kokichi into a hug, leaning against him softly and sighing, “He’s such a bully, Kokichi.”

While he allowed the kisses, Kokichi gave Kaito an unimpressed look at the comment, before snuggling into Shuuichi’s hug. “Mhmm… So cocky. Sometimes I really live on his faith, but Kai-chan’s really set on the bounds of our abilities.”

“Our strong Shuu-chan can really put people in their place with moves like that, though,” Kokichi giggled, placing a soft kiss on Shuuichi’s cheek. “You’re so impressive~ Don’t even have to get creative like I do. Though you’re more than capable of it, if the mood strikes.”

“Though you are too,” he included, looking back over at Kaito, expression a bit softer. “I’d imagine the straight-forward path is more of the one of least resistance for you, though.”

“Look, babe, you could literally have me, like, puppet around and do all your heavy lifting for you and I’d never even know about it, if you wanted to.” Kaito smirked, standing up and stretching a little, “I think it’s okay to admit that someone with literal superpowers isn’t as capable of deadlifts as myself. Like, you’re not exactly ‘losing’ in this comparison.”

“Careful, Kaito…” Shuichi said, rubbing Kokichi’s back a bit. “Keep your voice down. And don’t forget those gifts aren’t Kokichi’s… favorite things.”

“I know he wouldn’t.” Kaito said dismissively, waving his hand a bit, “But he could. And that’s sexy as hell.”

Kokichi’s smile faded a bit and he quickly glanced around. Sure, it wasn’t the most incriminating things, but…it could be enough to pry more for someone already curious. 

“...I appreciate your outlook,” he said softly, “But…that’s not what I was talking about. In either respect. I don’t think any of us are ‘losing’ in a discussion of strength, and I know in terms of physical strength I’m never going to remotely compare to you.”

Kokichi was quiet for a moment before his brow furrowed. “...no offense to our daughter, but…man. What a dumb use for that gift would be, making you carry things for me. It’s almost enough to make it more idiotic than sickening.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a mildly worried look… before he sighed. Leaning down and brushing Kokichi’s hair back a little, kissing at his forehead, “Come on, man, don’t kinkshame me like that.”

Shuichi huffed, still rubbing Kokichi’s back as they hugged, “Kaito…”

“No, really. I want to be able to bring up how cool I think Kokichi’s abilities are, sometimes.” Kaito frowned, stepping back and resting his hands on his hips, “Even the darker sides of it. I know Kokichi would never abuse it. That’s what makes it fun and exciting, for me. My husband is amazing, and powerful. Incredibly powerful, in ways the powerful people I’ve known all my life would dream of possessing… and maybe it’s the worst side of me flexing, but…” 

Kaito grinned, shrugging a little, “I’m proud of that. My husband is capable of all of that? Of that sheer, immense control? And the only thing stopping him is that he’s a good person? That’s ticking so many boxes for me. As a prince-consort and a husband, I’m incredibly proud to say that, and it’s such a bummer I can’t scream it to the world. I just wish you didn’t see it as such a huge source of shame.”

Kokichi sighed softly, before he reached out to gently touch his fingertips to the inside of Kaito’s arm. Not quite seeking out his hand to hold it, because Kaito’s hands were on his hips, but…being close. Showing affection. 

“And that outlook is exactly why I’ve been able to pull myself out of really bad places, a few times,” he said quietly, looking up at his husband. “Maybe it’s just another example of me basing my self-worth on you, but…you being proud and excited and interested has, at times, been the only thing I could cling to when I hated even the stuff I love, and I thought the world would be better off without me.”

“I really am happy with your pride…and your objectification, sometimes.”

“But the fact that the only thing stopping me is being a good person, for the things that’s actually true for…” Kokichi sighed again, slumping against Shuuichi a bit as his gaze trailed downwards. “...god, that’s terrifying. And…it fills me with disgust. Not for myself, anymore, but…”

Kokichi huffed, shaking his head a little as he closed his eyes. “...I don’t even know what thread I’m on anymore. I like who I am. I’m proud of it, and any pride or positivity that inspires in you guys makes me happy.” 

…it just felt like there was a line between Kaito wanting to raise the confidence of someone’s insecurity, and objectifying something Kokichi found morally abhorrent. A line of respect, maybe.

Kaito frowned at… well, all of that. For a few different reasons. 

Rubbing the back of his neck a little, he tilted his head at his husband a bit… before sighing in frustration. “Can we walk and talk? Please? I mean, normally I’d love the chance to watch you two hold each other, but it doesn’t feel great watching Shuichi, like, comfort you and glare at me while you talk around things you actually want to say. Makes me feel like I’m actually bullying you two.”

Turning, Kaito stared down the increasingly dark path of the hiking trail, the moon starting to climb the dimming sky. Scratching his neck a little again, before glancing over his shoulder, “Come on. Don’t linger. Maybe we can find somewhere with more guaranteed privacy too.”

Shuichi’s eyes narrowed a little. Recognizing the signs of Kaito being angry but trying to keep it subdued. “If you’re careful how you phrase things, Kaito, then we won’t need privacy.”

“Well then I want to walk and talk because I need the exercise then.” Kaito said, “And you two are welcome to join me.”

Kokichi frowned, his stomach clenching a little at the feelings coming off of Kaito, but he nodded. …after a half-surprised look back at Shuuichi. But…with his fiance’s hand in his, he started off after Kaito. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about our body-language, how much that really is like ganging up on you,” he started softly, before taking a breath. “...but I wasn’t trying to talk around anything. I really did lose the point I was trying to make, or…whatever.”

Quiet a moment, Kokichi frowned at the ground. “And this isn’t…me trying to guess at how you feel, okay? It’s just…an apology I want to make, thinking about the words out of my mouth. I don’t like making…glancing comments about my suicidal thoughts to you like that. That was unfair of me…so I’m sorry, Kai-chan.”

“I know we literally just talked about all that stuff in therapy, but…well. I’ll keep working on trying to unteach myself it.”

Kaito tsked, running his hand through his hair as he grit his teeth a little, his backjaw clicking… before he sighed. Slowing down so that they could catch up, leaning down to kiss Kokichi quickly on the head, though he notably kept his hands to himself as he walked beside them. A tension in the air as the three moved. 

“...I don’t… love hearing that I’m the only thing, sometimes, between you and freaking… wanting to die, Kokichi.” Kaito muttered. His face tense, shoving his hands into his pockets as they walked, “You have a lot to live for. You have so much to live for… but I know that the realities of your life isn’t, like, the thing that determines those feelings for you. Still. It’s not great, and I don’t know… what I can do about that. Like, what am I going to do? Stop supporting you?”

Kaito murmured those last bits mostly to himself, clearly half-arguing with himself about it. “That wouldn’t help. Hell, it could make it worse. So, like… I don’t know. I don’t know how to help with being this line in your head that you’re holding onto to stay afloat, other than to just keep holding onto the other side of it. What else can I do?”

“And… okay, maybe I am bullying you guys, a little.” Kaito confessed, sighing as he pulled his hands out of his pockets, fussing with his joints a little, “Sorry, maybe I’m feeling a little defensive because I am defending something. I… get a little jealous of you, Kokichi. Sometimes. And it can be a little hard, sometimes, to hear you talk down about things that…”

Kaito shrugged, “I like having a powerful husband because that’s never going to be me, Kokichi. And I know that’s fucking stupid for me to bitch about, because I’m a Momota and I grew up with everything… but you have things, Kokichi, that I grew up dreaming about. And you hate all of it. And that can be a little hard to listen too, sometimes.”

Kokichi nodded quietly, eyes seeking out the slowly darkening shadows in the moonlight. Not trying to see what was hiding in them, but looking at the shadows themselves, appreciating the interesting shapes they made. 

“No single person should have to be a lifeline like that, especially for someone they love,” he said quietly. “It’s so much to put on you… We talked about that. Not making you that line is…something I need to work on myself. Something that Dr. Egami and I have to work through. I’m proud that these days, most days, that kind of spiral doesn’t have a grasp on me at all. And…you know, sometimes even if I do trip up, it’s not just you on the frontlines holding me back anymore.”

“Just…sometimes it felt like you were, in the past. I know it’s a horrible thing to hear…but I do appreciate your support,” Kokichi half-grinned. “You’re right, that not supporting me wouldn’t really help. It’s just…something I have to work through, so I can fight my own battles again. I’m sorry to keep bringing it up.”

In that aspect, they did feel, if not the same, then on the same side of the issue. The next, though…

Kokichi sighed, looking up at Kaito a little helplessly before running a free hand through his hair. “...I know I’m not very good at teasing. The lines between a playful joke, and especially ones that you guys start and are having fun with, so I want to join in too…the line between that, and genuinely poking into insecurities is…hard for me to find. I cross too far over sometimes, and…I’m sorry for that. I don’t mean to. I know it doesn’t matter when feelings are hurt anyway, but…I really do try to think about how things will be taken, before I make a joke. I just…fail a lot, I guess.”

“...I never want to dig into your insecurities, hun,” Kokichi frowned. “I’m sorry I do.”

“...I can understand how…insulting that feels, for someone to seemingly take something you lack, that you’d give anything to have, for…complete, dismissive granted.” Going to school, basically…anything regarding the difference in preventative illness Kokichi had to do; for a long time, the expectancy of old age and being able to grow up, and grow up slowly…

He sighed. “...I might just be a jerk. This…might be just another thing we fight over… I hate that, but… I am sorry about not considering your feelings as I should. But…I can’t apologize for the things I hate. Things that…”

Kokichi huffed, his lips going strained before he set his jaw. “...things that take away others’ autonomy… I don’t care if there’s someone out there that uses it ‘right’. A power like that…simply shouldn’t exist. It shouldn’t be left up to individual discretion on if or how to use it. I can’t…apologize for feeling that way.”

Shuichi squeezed Kokichi’s hand, “It’s not. All of us are here for you and, me in particular…I do hope that I can alleviate some of that stress. I know that illness doesn’t always follow a rational logic, but I’d hope you know you can always come to me, when your mind starts to harm you.”

Kaito sighed, wanting to argue that Kokichi didn’t have to hide suicidal thoughts from him. That wasn’t what Kaito was asking for… but in truth, he wasn’t sure if that was even the problem. He didn’t think Kokichi could hide it from him if he wanted too. Kaito didn’t mind being one of Kokichi’s defenses from his own mind. He just hated the reason he was. He hated how little Kokichi valued himself. 

But, again, what could he do? Other then to continue to support him and hope someday Kokichi would believe he was incredible, even when Kaito wasn’t insisting it to him… or even when Kaito was mad at him. 

“You’re not a jerk, Kokichi.” Kaito huffed. Reaching to him and taking his hand, encircling Kokichi’s smaller hand with his own. “It’s not you being a jerk if I’m feeling fucking insecure and envious. And, also…” Kaito looked down, smirking a little, “You do suck at teasing, if any of that was a joke. Cause I don’t have a damn clue what you’re talking about. You do hate that shit, I can tell how sincere you feel about this stuff being disgusting. And I can tell you don’t like how much I admire it. It’s just… something you and I are at odds about. You hate it, I think it’s incredible… and, yes, I think it’s sexy. The objectifying comment? Was that you teasing?”

“Thank you,” Kokichi smiled softly, squeezing Shuuichi’s hand back. And Shuuichi really had helped him out that way, more than once. The biggest example Kokichi could think of was when he’d locked himself in his mind, and Shuuichi had, with only an hour or two of consciously knowing about, well, psychics at least, barged into Kokichi’s mind and pulled him out. It was…incredible, honestly. 

The biggest example, but Shuuichi so often helped in smaller ways too. Letting Kokichi speak openly about his darker feelings in a way that was more cathartic than at the end of his rope, and having someone there to empathize. Staying with him in bed, or pulling him out of it, when Kokichi was starting to slip. Kokichi had a lot of struggles, but…his family was always there to catch him and pull him forward. 

“I’m a jerk sometimes,” Kokichi softly countered, though he could only sigh after that. “That… It wasn’t really a joke, though I definitely meant it to be light-hearted. I meant more like…at the start of the whole subject, when I was talking about all our different strengths. That was all joking, even if it was all true too. Everything after that, I think…wasn’t joking.”

“Ah, right. You and Miyako’s powers being dumb. Right.” Kaito sighed, scratching his chin.

Kokichi’s brow furrowed, before he quickly shook his head. “No, before that. Me talking about that use-case for…puppetry--I wasn’t teasing. That was just…me trying to cope with something I hate, by…getting annoyed with something non-catastrophic, rather than just…” He frowned more. “...feeling overwhelmed and hopeless by thinking of the big stuff, like my mind always wants to jump to when we talk about that stuff.”

“What’s overwhelming and hopeless about it?” Kaito said, stopping in his track and looking down at Kokichi, looking baffled, “Kokichi, I know you hate that this stuff exists. I get that, and I’m sorry, I know that… all of this? The… the reality around us? It all went against the things you believe, shit you were counting on, and I’m so… genuinely sorry for that. Because I got everything I ever wanted and your world view was shattered and…”

Kaito huffed. Pulling his hand back from Kokichi and rubbing his hands over his face, “... you are a literal god send, Kokichi. You’re a good person. If this sort of power exists? And it exists within you? Then that’s just proof that there is true, ultimate good in the universe. That the world is a good, decent place, because people like you exist, and that… more than compensates for people like me. And that’s amazing. And objectively good.”

“Kaito… that’s too much pressure.” Shuichi said.

“How is it pressure? He literally just has to keep being himself!” Kaito insisted, “It’d be harder to get him to stop!”

Kokichi gave Kaito a baffled look right back, because…even for someone who admired that kind of power…it was obvious, right? And…

Kokichi gave his husband a quiet, tired look, his voice matching. “...and never, ever slip up. Never be selfish, or angry…never be misled or make mistakes… I…” He took a small breath. “...when I’m those things…normally? I really believe that my desire to learn from those moments, and try to make things up to people…that makes me a decent person. It’s how I believe I should live my life.”

“But…if I’m a compensation for people who…more often choose to act selfishly, or in anger, who defend those actions and never try to make up for them…which,” Kokichi let out a huffing scoff, “I really don’t believe that characterizes you, hun. If I’m suppose to be a balance against that? Then I don’t get to be a decent person, finding peace with how they make their way through life. If I’m a piece on the scales…then every time I mess up, it’s a failure. And people will be hurt… Because evil only ever needs to win once. Good has to have a flawless record, every second.”

“And…fuck,” Kokichi said emphatically, letting out a few notes of a broken laugh as he let go of Shuuichi’s hand to grip his hair loosely. “I wasn’t even talking about that. You know, my mentor said the same thing to me once? When I thought I was a monster? They said if true monsters have this kind of power, then the fact that I exist gives people a fighting chance. And…a-and that’s what I believe, Kai-chan! I-I’m not a freak, or a monster, or something the world would be better off without, because I can fight against all the people who are those things. That’s my peace with it.”

Letting out a sharp breath, Kokichi’s face felt hot, something coiled and shaking in his chest. “But that doesn’t change my belief that power like this shouldn’t exist in the first place. People wouldn’t be at such a disadvantage if no one, good or evil alike, simply never had the option to have this much power…”

Looking up at Kaito, his eyes a little to wide, shining with desperation, Kokichi clenched his jaw before speaking quietly. “You want to know why I feel overwhelmed and hopeless, when people bring up puppetry? Because I know it’s not some horrible nightmare my mind came up with to torture me to think about people making others kill themselves, without them even knowing. To know that people have been prisoners in their bodies, which I thought at the time, but I think even more now, is a fate worse than death. To think about people losing everything against their will… It’s hard, to just make a joke about…a-about having someone get me something from a high shelf, when all that stuff is all I can think about.”