“In fairness, I am a very easy person to scare, and you were on drugs,” Waku shrugged. “It is what it is, and at least we have a story to blow all other people out of the water with, as long as none of the rest of your family is there to usurp me.”

Had it been terrifying and horrific? Yeah, and so had been nearly the next entire month. But while there may be important lessons to learn from the past, living in it blinded you from the present, and the possibilities of the future. They had forged a friendship from tatters and…that’s all that really mattered. 

And if Kaito could do it with her, then he could do it with Kokichi’s family. 

Laughing a bit at Kaito’s plan for winning over Denji, Waku snorted. “Manipulative, and they don’t think you’re dumb, but it’s not the worst idea. Giving the two of you a reason to talk and spend time together would be good, for getting to know each other better. Especially since Denji’s attempts haven’t been working.”

That seemed like a good step forward, but as Kaito was explaining his thought process, Waku stiffened, scowling before taking a breath and just frowning up at Kaito. “Not particularly. I mean, she was the librarian for years, so we did interact, and she was always helpful when I needed to find something, but…”

Waku shrugged. “She was a horror buff and I don’t like being scared. And her assumptions of people were always a little too…” Waku trailed off, trying to find the best way to describe it. “...like she was finding uses for ‘em. A little too invested, I guess.”

“See, the fact that Denji’s been trying? That’s me being totally oblivious.” Kaito sighed, exasperated with himself. “Was convinced Denji, like… thought I was good looking and that was the long and short of it. Oh, and that I pissed them off once borrowing their fan and pretending like I might break it by being just… too buff when I blew with it… maybe they were trying to play along?” Kaito realized, furrowing his brow a bit, “They said they were gonna tell ‘Kichi, and I got skittish. Didn’t want him to know I was antagonizing his family.”

“Nao’s a horror buff?” Kaito asked, though as soon as he said it he realized, “Oh, I suppose I knew that, though I didn’t think of it like that. She helps out with the haunted house and all of that. Yeah…” there were things, Kaito realized as he spoke, that he couldn’t explicitly say. He didn’t know what everyone else knew about Nao, and while he didn’t care about exposing her, he did care about exposing Shuichi. Shuichi deserved Kaito being careful who he told, not spreading his fiance’s pain and humiliation around unnecessarily. So, in case Waku didn’t know, he said, “...I only had a few interactions with Nao, but we… fought bitterly. To the point where Kokichi was scared of me about it. Not that he wasn’t right to be scared… I could have killed her, those fights got so bad.”

“But I feel bad about it, even though she totally had it coming. Because Kokichi loved her… loves her, maybe, even. Called her his ‘aunt’. And… ya know? I wish I could say that was the reason I tried to get along with her, the night I saw her maybe a month ago. But it wasn’t. I was actually trying to ruin her night being around her, but man… I have a hard time hating people when I’m getting to know them… but that’s frustrating too,” Kaito huffed, rolling his eyes, “If I can have a bonding moment with Nao, of all people, I should be able to be fucking besties with Nazumi! It shouldn’t be hard! Why is it hard?” Kaito muttered. Clearly half talking to himself. 

And that was why Waku said Kaito was terrible at having playful arguments. It wasn’t his fault, and Waku understood more than most just how…bizarre and terrifying and nonsensical it all could look. When so many people regularly said absurd and disturbing things to each other casually, it was hard to recognize the actual dangers among them. The people who would actually set someone’s shed on fire, or break someone’s leg, or…go tell on your partner. And so…it came to sound like everyone was a danger, or genuinely pissed off. 

In a strange reversal, for people like Waku and Kaito…instead of the arguments and insults being a sign of closeness, the people who actually knew them were more gentle and sincere. 

Which made it even more confusing in Kaito’s case, when he did manage to strike up relationships with aggressiveness. 

Waku gave Kaito a dry look as he questioned Nao’s hobbies--she tried not to take much for granted when it came to his knowledge in Dicea, but…--but just sighed when he explained his relationship to her. Crossing her arms, Waku was quiet for a moment. “...maybe because you haven’t helped them out in a crisis? And I don’t mean one of your crises--one of theirs. I know that doesn’t make much sense for me, but…” 

Waku huffed. Knowing that it might sound unkind. “...the first time we met, I was at your mercy until Kokichi saved me. So…you’ve seen me weak, even if the way our friendship actually started came from me yelling at you, and helping you out during a tough time. I dunno what Nao’s up to now, but I have a hunch it isn’t great,” she rolled her eyes. “So…for Nazumi and Denji and everyone…have you ever seen them weak and struggling or defeated?”

Kaito gave Waku an openly bewildered look, for a moment… before his brow furrowed. Comprehension lighting his still alcohol flushed features as he thought about her reasoning…

“...holy shit, you might be onto something.” Kaito realized. “Damn… damn. You might be onto something… no. I’ve never seen them in a way, where, like… I felt like I could help them. Or wanted to help them. In fact, the first time I met most of them, I was scared. I say most, honestly it’s ‘all’... and you’re right.” Kaito realized, scratching the back of his neck urgently, lost in thought, “...I started sympathizing with Nao because I could see she was struggling. Hell, I felt the same way about that nightmare woman Aba. It’s hard to see someone alone and scared and needing help and just… not wanting to help them. And people are less scary, when you’ve seen them down and out.”

Kaito closed his eyes, “Lake was the first person I talked to after the proposal, and realizing my fiance hated me. The next time I talked to her, her and Denji had brought in a knocked out Kokichi into our room, and I thought they had attacked him. Nazumi threatened to attack us with a shovel when I met her, because she thought we were attacking Kokichi… and you know what?” Kaito blinked, realization dawning, “You know when I really wanted to give Lake a chance? Beyond obligation as Kokichi’s sister? When I realized what her and Nazumi’s relationship was… it makes me so sad. I want to comfort her and be someone she can talk to, about that… but she’s so in denial about it all. And otherwise all of our interactions have been her trying to navigate my paranoia and anger. Which always leaves me feeling stupid and small…”

“...god, it’s so obvious now that you’ve pointed it out.” Kaito whispered, “I’ve always done that. I’m drawn to people I’ve seen struggle. They make me want to be helpful, they make me want to dote on them, and… I feel like I understand them more. Makes me feel safer.”

“...damn, Waku.” Kaito whistled, “Way to just drop a revelation on me, chick.”

Waku nodded, listening to Kaito work it out for himself. It was a guess, honestly, even if an educated one, but…well, the thing with observations like that was that they meant a whole lot more to the person they were about. An outside party could draw all sorts of random conclusions about a person and make it sound plausible if they talked well enough, but if a person could find the logic in something themselves? Then it meant something. 

And while Waku had had enough to make a guess on--Kaito had literally befriended a man they saw get smacked in the face and stepped on that night--Kaito had far more examples. And it tracked. 

Giving Kaito a little curtsy, Waku flashed him a grin. “I’ve been in therapy for over a decade. I’d be mad if my armchair psychology didn’t work out at least once in a while.”

“But…that is understandable, you know,” she shrugged, resuming their walk. “It’s hard to feel confident around someone that looks untouchable. You might know in the top brain that they wouldn’t hurt you, but…in the lizard brain, you can’t trust someone to understand your pain if you haven’t seen proof that they’ve felt it before themselves.”

“Just kinda sucks when you meet people after they’re past the worst of it and have already put in work to get better, though,” she gave him a knowing look. 

“Yeaaaaah, I know. If you’ve guessed that half the reason they freak me out is because of their collective pasts? Yeah, you guessed right.” Kaito huffed, “I’m sorry, I know it’s not fair. And even if it was fair, I’d still be a damn hypocrite to be the one to point that out. If I’m not just as bad as any of them, it’s because I’m worse. And I got away scott-free with all of it.”

“...I mean, Nazumi’s past is still terrifying.” Kaito murmured, “But honestly, half the reason it scares me is because she did it out of love. And, like… that’s scary… Kokichi wants Lake and Nazumi to be Miyako’s god parents. Honestly, so do I, I think they’d do great at it, they live in a nice place, they’re near the castle and, like, neither of them are in the habit of leaving on a whim. They’re reliable… but Nazumi’s past scares me. Lake’s doesn’t. Her situation was self-defense, pure and simple, I don’t judge her for a second for doing it, and honestly, I’d judge anyone who would… but Nazumi’s does.”

“Buuuuut… Nazumi’s situation was a long time ago. Like you said, she’s put in the work, she’s moved past all of that, all of it. And it’s not like she thinks it was the right thing to do anymore. Hell, that makes her leagues better than my brother. Byakuya will never understand why he scares me. He’ll never understand why what he did was wrong. And I can forgive and love him. I should be able to trust Kokichi’s…” Kaito brow furrowed, “...psuuuuedo… sister in law? Only not really, because Lake and Nazumi are not together. Pseudo aunt? She’s important to Kokichi, and is very, very likely about to be one of Miyako’s god parents. I gotta get over it.”

Waku just shrugged. “It’s not helpful, comparing all the shit we’ve done in the past--just serves to make everyone feel horrible. It is not very fair to them for you to judge things that happened years and years before you knew them…but that’s just the way our minds work, man. You’re working through it, and no one can blame you for that. It’s just shitty if you blame them for the time it’s taking you.”

Raising her eyebrows a bit in surprise at hearing that Kaito was considering making Lake and Nazumi Miyako’s godparents, Waku hummed softly, taking that in. It…really would be an issue, if it was just Kokichi pushing for it, but…Kaito said it was what he wanted too. Just that he had some issues that he wanted to work past. And it wasn’t like Lake and Nazumi wouldn’t be around Miyako anyway--Waku had heard herself, Lake chatting it up with other guards and castle staff and…anyone who lingered to chat in town and in the castle of how badass and adorable and amazing Miyako was, always adding in new anecdotes from her latest visit. And it wasn’t like Kaito, Kokichi, and Shuuichi were all likely to die together in the near future--tempting fate with that or no. 

They…did have time for Kaito to work through it. 

“Aunt in the social sense,” Waku shrugged, before she sighed and patted Kaito’s arm. “I think your brother might be a special case, but…still. It’s kind of an asshole move to ask someone to go over their trauma and illnesses with you…but if you’re worried, and especially if you wanna bind yourselves legally…just ask her about it, man. Maybe not the event itself, but…how she’s been getting better. Let her prove herself to you.”

Kaito snorted, “In that, I am an asshole. I always ask. I probably shouldn’t, but I do. Usually point blank. And I’ve had people get pissed at me about it too. Still, I love hearing about it. Love getting to know people like that, learning their enemies.”

Sucking on his tongue a little, pressing it against the front of his teeth, Kaito glared ahead, deep in thought… before he nodded. “I won’t say I haven’t decided to do this, or tried to do this before, so I don’t know if saying it again is really gonna change anything… but fuck it! I’ll try again, I’ll see if I can’t sit down with all of these people and get to know them on a personal level. I might just fuck it up again, but dammit, I gotta make the effort. I’m not going to leave my poor tiny husband constantly navigating and negotiating with them on my fucking behalf! I’m a good husband and a good prince consort! I can be the kind of person my extended family wants to have around, dammit!”

Kaito punched the air, before looking to Waku, “Right!? I’ve got this!!”

Waku matched Kaito’s look before grinning and punching the air right next to him. “You’ve got it, Star Guy! Anyone Kaito Momota wants to be friends with? They don’t stand a chance. We’re absolutely gonna get kicked out of a pub ‘cause we end up bringing 30 people in--such are the struggles of having so many friends.”

Giving him a fond, proud look, she gently punched his arm. “You’ll figure it out. And you might even convince your husband to stop overthinking things.”

“Bringing the WHOLE damn family to the pub! It’s gonna be a damn family reunion!!” Kaito punched the air some more, looking more pumped with every word… before he grinned down at Waku, “Thanks. I love you. In case you didn’t know.”

“I do,” Waku winked. “You never let me forget it. I love you too, dude.”

-

Kaito had made a pie.

He didn’t know what Kokichi had told Lake and Nazumi, specifically, about the visit. He knew they knew he and Kokichi were coming to visit, and he suspected Kokichi had told them it wasn’t an entirely casual visit, but Kaito had still felt like he needed to have a… better reason to visit. Than the complicated conversation that this might end up being.

So, Kaito had spent the previous evening making pie crusts, and had spent that morning making filling, and by the time lunch had gotten there he had a warm, only slightly ugly and slightly burnt cinnamon-apple pie, and he had even taken a shot at trying to to make a little flower pattern on the the surface crust. Which, admittedly, was mostly where it had burnt, Kaito’s attempt at decorations having been thinner then the rest of the pie and burning because of it. Kaito thought it kinda looked cool. Like little, ashy stars.

“...this is going to be fine.” Kaito murmured to Kokichi as they approached the house. The sentiment might have been reassuring, had it not been the third time Kaito had said it. Clearly trying to convince himself.

“It’s going to be fine,” Kokichi murmured back, as he had done the previous two times. The pie was a nice gesture, and he was very excited to have a slice, burnt crust and all, and…he didn’t really think that this was Kaito trying to butter his sister and aunt up. In some ways, Kokichi mused that it would actually relieve Kaito if the two of them said no. 

But that would leave them lost and brainstorming again, and Kaito had said that he did want to ask them so…that’s why they were here! Pie and all. 

Kokichi knocked on the door of the little cottage, and it didn’t take long at all before Lake opened the door, smiling wide and hair a little damp, like she’d just gotten out of the shower. Considering that they had arranged to have this visit right after one of her shifts…that made sense. And the only reason Nazumi hadn’t walked with them from the castle was because she wanted to clean up the house a little in preparation. 

“Hey, welcome! C’mon in--did you bring a pie? That’s sweet of ya, Kai-guy! ‘Zumi was just setting up the kettle, if you’d all like something warm to drink! Come in, come in!”

Bright and just as much of a whirlwind as ever, Kokichi pressed himself into the tight, greeting hug before the royal family was ushered into the living room, Nazumi leaning out of the kitchen to greet them as well. “Glad y’all made it alright! Anythin’ we can getcha ‘fore we start chattin’?”

“Do you have any lemonade?” Shuichi asked, smiling lightly at Lake as they headed inside. Heading into the living room as ushered, and not wasting time in finding a seat for himself, sinking into the nice cushions as he looked around. The house smelled nice, like soil and herbs. The lighting was nice too, thin, pulled away curtains letting in boisterous amounts of sunshine, which helped all the plants they had potted all around the house, on window sills and the floor and hanging from the ceiling. “I found myself craving lemonade on the way here.”

Kaito grinned brightly at Lake, holding up the pie as he proclaimed, “It’s apple-cinnamon! Well, apple, cinnamon and, like, charcoal, a little bit… but I think it’d be fine if you just scrap off the top a bit. Pretty sure. I’ll put it in the kitchen.” 

Trotting over to the kitchen, Kaito nodded at Nazumi in greeting, before asking, “Anywhere I should put it specifically?”

“Oh, yessss,” Lake cheered, peering at the pie before sending Kaito off to Nazumi. “Perfect fall flavors! I’m sure you’ll get the decorations next time--even burnt they look real cute!”

“Sure thing, Shu’chi!” Nazumi called, heading back into the kitchen to get his drink. “And set it right here on the counter, Kaito, we can slice it up right away. Would ya like some tea? Lake actually got a cinnamon tea the other day, so that might go well, an’ we have a lemon ‘a course.”

“I’ll take the cinnamon, Aunty!” Kokichi called, having claimed a spot next to Shuuichi. 

It was just…an easy, comfortable flow, Lake waiting just outside the kitchen to bring out Shuuichi’s drink and a few slices of the pie without crowding, the kettle still warming up as, eventually, they all settled in the living room. 

“Now, we’re always happy ta spend time with y’all,” Nazumi started, “But ya said ya got somethin’ ta talk through?”

Kaito ended up agreeing to the cinnamon tea, before helping cut up the pie and putting them on plates. Finding it easier to be casual so long as he was busy with something, grinning pleasantly as he helped bring out the plates before– somewhat regretfully– finally settling down on the couch himself, tasting his pie to distract himself from his ever growing nerves. 

Hey! Not bad. Kaito had thought it’d be worse.

Shuichi thanked Lake for his drink, sipping at it a bit before humming contently. Unlike Kaito, he had far less fears and reservations about this whole thing, and was honestly just looking forward to what he hoped was going to be delivering overall good news. It wasn’t every day someone asked you to be their child's parents. And sure, there was the finicky business of Kaito not being quite sold on it yet, but Shuichi suspected that would end well enough.

Or would at least be interesting to observe.

Though, when he heard Kaito weakly chuckle at the question, he decided to take the initiative. Smiling warmly at Lake and Nazumi, he said, “Yes, actually. It’s actually something that’s quite a bit important to us, at least on the Luminary side of our family, and something we’ve been discussing for some time now… are you both familiar with the concept of ‘God parents’? I know they’re not really a thing in Dicea, but it’s a very important role in Luminary families.”

Both women perked, sharing a glance before Lake offered the men a sheepish grin. “Can’t say we are, though the name is kinda…you know?”

Snorting a little at Lake’s familiar hand gestures, Kokichi explained, “It’s like the preferred guardian clause in wills…but!” He took a breath, trying to impart the importance of what they were asking. “Instead of being a safety net on paper…godparents are people we want to be an active part in our daughter’s life, to be there for her and enrich her, and…in the worst case scenario, take care of her and give her what we can’t, if we’re no longer here.”

“Lake, Nazumi--”

As the information settled in, Nazumi’s face had gone surprised, a hand up covering her mouth, though she didn’t look upset or offended, while Lake had leaned in, her eyes wide--or as wide as it could go, with the scarred one--a smile threatening to light up her face while she tried to remain serious. 

Looking over at Kaito and Shuuichi, Nazumi brought her hand down. “...us, really? You two want…?”

Kaito placed the plate of pie on his lap, grasped his hands together… 

…….. Oh god they were so excited fuck goddammit look how happy they were– “Yep!” Kaito grinned brightly, “Um, yes. You guys just… make sense. For Luminary, the main purpose of a god parent is to have someone who the parents trust to make certain their child will be safe and cared for, in their absence. For some god parents, it’d be enough to know the child’s financially secure, but for here, in Dicea? The greatest gift our Miyako could have in the event of our passing are people she can rely on for stability. You both live near the home Miyako will grow up in, you’ve lived as a unit for a long time now, she’ll grow up seeing you all the time, you’re both literally in the career of protecting people, and you… already love her. Because you love Kokichi.”

“Our daughter would be safe with you, and if I can’t be around to give her everything her heart desires, safety and stability is what I want for her the most, in my absence.” Kaito said softly. Still grasping his hands tightly together as he said, “...we believe? That’s something we could ask of you…”

“If you’d be willing to accept.” Shuichi added in softly. Still smiling contently.

Again, Lake and Nazumi shared a look, though there was so much more in this one than confusion. 

At one point, Kaito and Maki had once demonstrated how two people who had known each other for a long time could have entire conversations through eye contact. Maki and Shuuichi had once shown that two people who had known each other for a long time could have two completely separate conversations, utterly convinced that they were having one. 

Between Lake and Nazumi…it went a little something like this.

‘OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THEY WANT US TO BE TIAS!!’

‘Well, of course we would, Miyako’s our little niece, no matter what, but…’

‘I have been taking fewer shifts… You know I’ve been trying to be around more, take up more hobbies, be around for people…’

‘I can love Kokichi without danger, and I already love Miyako… This would just make it easier for us to help her if something happened.’

‘I know you’d protect her no matter what. Her heart too.’

‘...wanna be tias?’

‘Fuck yeah, let’s be tias.’

Looking between Kokichi, Shuuichi, and Kaito, Lake’s grin broke out on her face as she gave a little, “Eeeeee!”

And Nazumi smiled kindly at them all, bowing a bit to the fathers. “We’d be honored ta be Miya’s godparents. It means a lot fer y’all to have that faith an’ trust in us. We’ll do everythin’ we can ta keep Miss Miya’s smile goin’.”

Getting up from the couch, Lake swept Kokichi up from his seat, twirling him in a spinning hug. “GUYS, AAAAAAH! Please let me hug ya both after this, at least a little,” she laughed, nodding at Kaito and Shuuichi.

Shuichi watched Lake and Kokichi warmly, taking a sip of his lemonade as he nodded to Lake’s request, “Good, I’m glad. Of course, ideally it’s a role you’ll never have to fulfill, at least to its full extent, and one I don’t expect you’ll ever have to. But there is something relieving, in knowing that in an absolute worst case scenario, Miyako’s life won’t be disturbed more than losing her parents will already disturb things. And, while we’re not asking you to take on Timothy as well, I trust that so long as we can be certain he’s in the capital, that you’d ensure Miyako has access to her sibling.”

It had been something he and Maki had spoken of, before Shuichi came here, so he wanted to make certain it was mentioned. Timothy wasn’t their responsibility, but Shuichi considered it important, than Maki’s son would still have the ability to be in Miyako’s life, should she no longer live in the castle.

There had been another thing, that Maki had spoken to Shuichi about. A reality that both the guardsman and the bodyguard needed to be aware of. And while he thought about asking Kaito to explain, Shuichi suspected it’s importance might be more obvious, coming from him, rather than how Kaito could discuss things of this nature.

“Now, you don’t have to learn it all at once… but there are certain political realities, to being Miyako’s primary guardian.” Shuchi explained to the two women. “For instance, and this is the most important one: if we die before we can do it ourselves, as a psuedo–” Kaito’s left eye fluttered in irritation at the word, “princess of Luminary, someday, Miyako will have to make a trip to a Luminary temple of Atua, to officially renounce her claim to the throne. Or, rather, to accept Atua’s denouncement. It’s not something that can be indefinitely ignored. The less claim Miyako has to the throne, the safer throughout her life she will be. It will be vital you make that trip at some point.”

“‘A course,” Nazumi nodded, like it was the simplest concept in the world. “As pleased as punch we are, ideally Miya will only think ‘a us as…fifth or sixth place options, whenever she needs somethin’. But if anythin’ ever happened, we’d wanna make sure that she could keep as much of her life as possible. Sure Maki has a plan fer him, but our doors will always be open fer Timothy, too.”

With one last grand laugh, Lake finally set Kokichi back down on the ground, and he giggled as he went back to his seat, nudging Shuuichi as Lake held her arms open for the next two hugs. “I’ll probably write something up about it, honestly. Gotta put you two in my will for this anyway, so…might as well make sure all the political hoops are documented too.”

As excited and open for affection she was, Lake nodded with a steely comprehension. “Got it. No kid is someone to be taken lightly…but your daughter isn’t just anyone. We’ll make sure she’s safe, with all the extra bells and whistles too.”

Shuichi nodded, glad that they didn’t seem daunted by the sheer extra effort raising someone like Miyako would entail. Not to mention there would be things about their daughter that they just wouldn’t know. But the consensus there was that, for Miyako’s species and abilities, Temp and Alter Ego would always be there to guide and teach her everything she needed to know. For her god parents? Ideally, she would just seem like an odd child sometimes. One that people, occasionally, just randomly brought ice cream too.

Glancing over, his expression betraying nothing, Shuichi checked on Kaito. Kaito had a bright, easy grin on his face, still fussing with his knuckles, but otherwise nothing betraying that he was anything but delighted with this turn of events. Shuichi wondered if it was an act or if Kaito, when push had come to shove, had finally genuinely accepted this development. Who knew. Kaiito could be a little difficult to read, when he genuinely wanted to be. 

…if Kaito didn’t want to air out his concerns or ask his questions, well, then he’d just have to live with the consequences of that. 

“We’re so glad you accept.” Shuichi smiled warmly, turning back to the two ladies in question, “I believe Kokichi is going to ensure, paperwork wise, that everything is in order after this. Yes?”

“Mostly,” Kokichi chuckled, digging back into his pie and already getting right back into squirrel-cheek territory. Swallowing, he nodded to his partners. “I can write up all the legal stuff and change my own will, but you and Kai-chan will have to be there for the amendments of yours.”

He blinked slowly, a dry look coming over his face. “...or the creation of them.”

“Ugh,” Lake groaned, sending Kaito off with a little pat from his own hug (which she’d refrained from the twirling routine for him and Shuuichi, which she thought was very gracious). “I know that feeling… ‘Deki practically had to hold me down to get me to finally make a will. What a pain in the ass.”

“Is some good security ta have, though,” Nazumi laughed, giving the Luminaries a shrug. “Peace ‘a mind knowin’ all yer affairs will be put in order if th’ worst happens.”

Shuichi and Kaito glanced at each other, Kaito looking a little uncertain while Shuichi shrugged. “... I think ‘creation’ of them is a safe bet.” Kaito decided, looking to Kokichi, “I mean, we both probably had the equivalent of wills in Luminary, but that was more just, like, laws that pertained to us, rather then anything we had a say in or drafted up. All of my things and wealth would have been returned to the Momota family overall treasury for my family to disperse as they saw fit, and, well… Shuichi?”

Shuichi shrugged again, “Who knows what would have happened to my things. Likely my friends would have picked what they liked and the rest would have been tossed. Any funds I still had would have also gone to the Momota treasury, to pay part of my debt.”

“Well, the government treasury, anyway.” Kaito agreed. “So, yeah. Gonna need to create some wills.”

Looking to Nazumi and Lake, Kaito chewed on the inside of his lip a bit, “... it’s not asking too much? I know it’s never likely to happen, but essentially asking you to adopt a child in an emergency… you don’t need more time to think about it? Discuss it between yourselves? You don’t have to say yes right now, you won’t insult us.”

Kokichi sighed, taking a looooong sip of his tea. “...been asking you guys for months to make a will… Get pointed about it when it’s finally relevant and they look at me like they’ve never heard of it. Control Freak Kokichi, keep his family legally dependent on him, sure…”

As Kokichi grumbled to himself, Lake plonked down on the loveseat she’d shared with Nazumi, giving Shuuichi a nod. “For a long time, that’s basically what my will was, minus the money thing. Friends get dibs on my things, and, well,” she snorted, “No one was really chomping at the bit to take over my affairs, and without any direct family a bereavement collector would’ve probably ended up being the person to sort out my junk. But all that does get more complicated when you have things like property and kids.”

Again, Nazumi and Lake glanced at each other before Nazumi gave Kaito a small smile. “It is the sort ‘a thing that deserves a clear-headed decision an’ all that, but…”

“Now that you’ve asked? And there’s a possibility that we’d be able to be the folks to protect Mi-Mi?” Lake grinned, the smile turning into something fierce. “Even if we wouldn’t have things prepared to take in a baby tomorrow, hearing you ask… We’d never stop trying to be everything she needed. All discussion, if we asked to sleep on it would just be figuring out the hard logistics of taking her in…not deciding if we’d want to or not.”

Kaito’s mind whirred for a bit… nope. Sipping on his tea to hide his slightly embarrassed flush, nope. He couldn’t remember Kokichi asking him to make a will. He believed his husband, that grouching was too sincere to be anything but accurate, but… yeah, no. He had entirely dropped the ball on that. Whoops. 

Shuichi, of course, with far better memory, totally remembered it, absolutely. He just had never gotten around to it. Now was as good a time as any. Smiling at Lake’s enthusiasm, Shuichi nodded in agreement to how she predicated that would go, “Honestly, I wasn’t afraid you’d say no. Again, you both love Kokichi, so that’s already one point in your favor, but you’re both also incredibly responsible in your careers. In the event of a tragedy? I’m certain you two will keep your heads and do whatever is best for Miyako. She’ll be in good hands.”

“Yep! Yep, yep, yep… it should be said?” Kaito said after a moment, glancing at Kokichi, “When we were discussing god parents, it was Kokichi who put your names in the hat. He has a lot of faith in you, I… had to be convinced.” Kaito admitted, grinning somewhat uneasily, “But maybe that’s not surprising? I know we’ve had our tensions.”

Lake lit up at being called responsible, though both of the women calmed a bit at Kaito’s admission. And with a small, slightly sad smile, Nazumi nodded at him. “Not too surprisin’, nah. Ya tend ta wear your heart on your sleeve, Kaito--honestly, that’s why the two ‘a us were surprised to hear you an’ Shu’chi askin’ us too.”

Lake nodded, chuckling with a tinge of desperation. “Yeah… Like it’s obvious you guys do trust us with a lot already, considering, yanno, everything, but you sure as hell make it look real begrudging.” She then nodded to Shuuichi. “And I know you thought, at least for a while, that I was kinda,” Lake made a sort of squigling motion with her hands, “You know?”

Kokichi sighed softly, his expression easing from his grumbling. “...when I first brought it up, I was kinda just…expressing my own feelings, not expecting that we’d choose you guys,” he offered an apologetic smile. “But…Shuu-chan and Kai-chan did decide with their own feelings. And we decided to choose you.”

“Really does mean a lot,” Nazumi said softly, adjusting her headband.

“Oh, you are.” Shuichi said deadpan, not holding back in the slightest as he gave Lake a somewhat dry look, before pointing to Kaito and Kokichi, “But these two are her fathers, so protecting her from an entirely ridiculous and extra guardian is a little out of my abilities no matter what happens. But you are effective in a crisis, and you’re ‘fun’ which I’m sure Miyako would appreciate. But most of my faith is actually going towards Nazumi. She makes for a very convincing adult, and I think she’d negotiate effectively during PTA meetings and offer decent advice for life decisions.”

“Haaaaaah, yeah.” Kaito chuckled. “And, you know… my actions often don’t align with, like… the things I can sometimes say on, ya know… impulse. Just… asking everyone to bare with me. I’m trying…”

Lake tilted her head back and forth, finding herself quite okay with being the “fun” aunt, but she lit up just as much for the praise sent Nazumi’s way, slinging her arm around her with a proud squeeze. “Aw, heck yeah she is. You ever see ‘Zumi moderate a meeting at the community greenhouse? She could stare down a human parent just as well as a plant parent.”

Nazumi gave Lake a fond look, leaning into her hold, before she gave Kaito an incredibly sympathetic look. Empathetic, even. “An’ we do see ya efforts, Kaito. Two ‘a us sure know that ain’t always the easiest thing.”

Looking over with a proud smile, Kokichi leaned against Kaito with an affectionate nudge. The decision in the first place was huge, but seeing Kaito commit to going through with it… He didn’t always understand his husband, but…well, he saw Kaito’s efforts too. And it did mean a lot for him to try and get along with his family.

Kaito nodded, keeping his face bright and trying very hard not to… think too loud. A little frustrated with his own cowardice. Well, it was done now… it’d probably be okay. Nazumi hadn’t harmed anyone in decades. Kokichi was still alive and well, and presumably, so were all of his loved ones! Hell, Kaito was still alive, and if anyone would have ever tempted Nazumi to do a bit of love based mercy killing, Kaito had to assume killing the ‘monstrous’ luminary Kokichi had been married to against his will had to have been tempting. Tempting, if that was the sort of thing Nauzmi still did. She probably hadn’t been tempted. Lake had girlfriends. Wasn’t she bi? Boyfriends too, then! No one was dead. It. Was. Fine.

He sipped at his tea, eating another piece of his pie. “Alright, Miyako has godparents.” Kaito mused aloud to himself, eating another little piece of his pie– it really had come out pretty good. He was proud of it. “Just have to get Timothy settled and the kids will be taken care of. We really are grateful.” Kaito said, sincerely. Godparents was a real responsibility. Lake and Nazumi accepting enthusiastically was, in many respected, a genuine weight off his mind. 

“I wish we had brought Miyako now.” Shuichi admitted, sipping at his lemonade, “We were worried having Miyako literally right in front of you might have pressured you to say yes. Now I wish we could let her see your home, considering she’ll likely be very familiar with it as she gets older. If that’s not too presumptuous? Being godparents doesn’t make you obligatory baby sitters, but we do hope you’ll both be frequently part of her life.”

“Can’t say ya wouldn’t ‘a been right ‘bout that,” Nazumi chuckled, warming her hands around her tea mug. “Ya see now that we’re right on board, but sayin’ no to her sweet li’l face would’a been heartbreakingly impossible. Couldn’ bear lookin’ her in the eye an’ sayin’, nah, we’re not gonna make sure you’re gonna be taken care of and givin’ the best chance for everything.”

Lake nodded in agreement before waving Shuuichi off a bit. “Hey, it’s not like this is the last time you guys are ever gonna come over--and we’ve already told ya that we’ll come runnin’ if you need us. I know Ikuo gets pop-pop privileges, but I want aunt privileges toooooo!” she whined, breaking off into a small laugh. 

Kokichi scoffed, rolling his eyes. “We just haven’t had to scour people to babysit yet, thankfully, but you are on the list. And Miya-Miya definitely likes your visits--she likes continuing to be the world-champ arm wrestler.”

“Hm, hm,” Lake nodded, “Her buff baby arms are gonna take her far.”

Kaito shot Kokichi a briefly worried look, though he decided to not risk saying anything about ‘pop up’ privileges. He… trusted his husband that after their huge fight about it, Kokichi wouldn’t still be telling people they had to stay away because they made Kaito uncomfortable. Kokichi knew Kaito didn’t want that, so if there were still ‘lists’ and agreements of who was allowed to be more casual than them with others, well… Kokichi had other reasons for it. Not Kaito focused reasons.

Forcing himself to relax, Kaito grinned as the conversation eased into things he could get behind easily, “She is so strong. God, she’s so strong! I read that babies grips are so strong because they literally don’t know how to let go, so they just keep holding on, and it’s like… okay! So that’s my Miya when she’s not holding back? Gah! She’s so strong!”

“It can actually be a little intimidating, to think of how strong she is,” Kaito mused, catching Shuichi’s eye, who nodded minutely in agreement, “I think a lot of our lessons in raising her are going to be about how and why to hold back on people. Remind her that just because something is possible, doesn’t mean it’s always wise to do it.”

Catching the look, Kokichi gave Kaito a questioning one back, but…well, he supposed they’d talk about it later, if Kaito wasn’t speaking up now. At this point it probably would be good for Miyako’s socialization for them to branch out on babysitters a little more, but…asking Ikuo and Maki was so easy. If she wasn’t in town or with Tim, Maki was just a few doors down, and Ikuo was pretty easy to track down and always seemed to have time. When the rest of his family had time, it was usually because they scheduled it, and in that case…it was them getting to spend time with Miya and usually a few of her dads. 

Maybe when Kokichi started taking on more work, and Shuuichi went back to school, they’d be forced to branch out a little more, but for now, Kokichi was kind of resting on familiar laurels. 

Hearing what they thought was a pointed double-meaning, Lake and Nazumi shared a look before Lake sighed, tipping her head back against the couch a little. “Kids are wild, man. I think you know that better than me, since you already have two little ones, and two protoges too, but…”

She sighed out a calmer chuckle. “You’re right on that. Always learning, always exploring and testing new limits…kids are constantly figuring out just how far their reach can go into the universe, you know? To the point it’s easy to forget other people exist, both for being around to help, and for being consequences for their actions. But we don’t live in a vacuum, right?” she shrugged, nodding to the others. “Independence and capability is great, but ya gotta remember everyone around you too.”

Kaito knew what he was saying wouldn’t entirely translate to Lake and Nazumi, but he was banking on the idea that they’d assume he was talking about the realities of being royalty, rather than anything else. He assumed they would assume that, because in Luminary, that power and privilege would have been obvious, and Kaito still sometimes had trouble remembering that royalty in Dicea was a very different experience and concept. 

So he continued, “I just wish I knew how you guys managed to get through to Kokichi at such a young age. Kokichi’s always so considerate to other people, he never abuses his privileges, and I’m just sitting here wondering how on earth we’re going to imprint that onto Miyako. I’ve personally been looking through our children’s books, trying to find stories cautioning how to use strength and power and such… found this one great little fairytale in, like, the ‘twisted’ fairytales book Kokichi has, where it’s a boy who was given a gift of powers by a spider he was kind too, but the powers start to turn on him when he uses them as revenge against bullies in his village and such… it literally said at one point ‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility’ and I immediately threw a bookmark onto that page.” Kaito grinned, “Like, how perfect is that?”

Kokichi shuddered, though it was more just to express disgust than actually being affected. “It’s a good story, but…did they really have to make it a spider? Of all creatures to give a magical blessing…”

Nazumi chuckled softly, though her expression wasn’t quite as teasing as it could’ve been. “That might be a lesson in itself--Miya growin’ up fond ‘a critters and havin’ to learn quickly that her daddy don’t.”

“Are you kidding, though?” Lake huffed, giving Kokichi an amused look. “Or has Kokichi just skimped out on childhood stories? You used to pull the ‘favorite child’ card on me against Big Ik all the time. Not to mention all the times you were oh-so tired, far too sleepy to clean up your toys…but sprinting over to the dining hall for dinner was perfectly fine.”

“So I was a kid, sue me,” Kokichi shrugged.

Kaito snorted, shaking his head, “That’s not what I mean about ‘abuse of privilege’. That’s just kid stuff. Miyako’s allowed to be a jerk little kid. Hell, I had plenty of jerk little kid moments.”

Shuichi laughed lightly, “Okay, but you really did though. Kaito used to have these terrible tantrums, when things didn’t go well. You’d have thought the world was ending, from how he reacted to things. We lost a game of marbles once, and instead of giving up the marbles like he was supposed to, Kaito threw them down the stairs. Told the kid he lost too to go get them himself. I’m pretty sure you used the word ‘peasant’.”

Kaito winced at that, a genuinely embarrassed flush running through his face and down his neck. “Yeaaaaah, I remember that. Then Shuichi here, like, panicked on my behalf and went down to go get the marbles himself, and I felt bad cause, like… I didn’t want Shuichi to go get the marbles. But he ran off after them, trying to collect them before they fell and scattered all the way down several flights of stairs… ended up chasing after him cause I didn’t want Shuichi to be the only one doing it. I don’t even remember who the other kid was.”

“Jekyll.” Shuichi said immediately.

“Wait, Lord Orbin’s son? Why did I call him a peasant?”

Shuichi shrugged, “Probably because it was a ‘bad’ word.”

“That’s true, you really should call peasants ‘commoners’, it’s polite.” Kaito mused, before saying pointedly to Shuichi, “You had moments too! God, you’d sulk if you were chastised even a little bit, over anything. Like, you’d be totally despondent and acting like someone died, and by the time I dragged out of you what was wrong, it was always like ‘Miss Kirigiri heard me forget someone’s name and now I’m devastated’. Then, because I’m a good friend, we’d have to spend hours while you beat yourself up for little mistakes. That was a drag, man. I’m so glad you grew out of that.”

“Have you considered I just make less mistakes now?” Shuichi teased.

Kaito rolled his eyes, before saying, “No, I mean, like, real abuses of power. Hurting people because it’s convenient, or fun. From what I’ve heard, Kokichi could be a little selfish when he was a kid, even self-centered. But he didn’t enjoy other peoples misery, and he wasn’t an actual bully… right?” Kaito asked, looking to Kokichi with a raised eyebrow, “I can’t picture you a bully.”

“That’s so shitty,” Kokichi laughed, shaking his head. “Aw, sore loser Kai-chan… Definitely had some moments like that myself, though. I think Denji-chan is still mad at me for the time I poured a can of glitter into their sponges. Or when I put tree sap in your hair ‘cause I found out you were letting me win races, Lake-nee,” he nodded, giving his sister an apologetic look. 

Lake and Nazumi had shared a confused glance at the whole…’peasants’ and ‘commoners’ thing, but they got back into the swing of the conversation as Lake barked out a laugh. “Man, you really were such a brat sometimes--at least I know for sure that short hair and I do not mix. But I think making you cry after beating you in the next six consecutive races made us square.”

Nazumi seemed a little surprised at the degree of kid-shittiness Kaito went to, but…well, some kids were that kind of cruel, so she supposed it was something for a parent to worry about. “Nah… You could be a li’l mean sometimes, but I wouldn’t call ya a bully,” she glanced to Lake and Kokichi, conferring the judgement of his childhood.

Kokichi just shrugged a little, looking less than proud. “I wasn’t happy, making other people upset, and I never went out of my way for it. Even for my less-thought-out pranks, I was still trying to make someone laugh.”

“Mmmhm. Our Kokichi’s the opposite of malicious. If the worst Miyako ever does is act a little pampered and self-centered? That’s great, that’s ideal. It’ll be tougher if she ends up with my temper, but we’ll navigate that too, if it comes. I just don’t want her to get to the point where she loses track that other people are, like… people.” Kaito explained, rubbing the back of his neck, “Because she has access to more than the average other person.”

“Like Byakuya using the guardforce against people.” Shuichi used as an example. His eyes trained on Kaito as he said it. 

Kaito tapped his thumb against his tea cup a bit, before nodding. “Yeah. Like that. Just don’t want her to get to that point.”

Shuichi nodded. It was less relevant these days, but Shuichi was still always looking for signs of Kaito’s delusions when it came to Byakuya, not to mention the rest of his family. It was important, now that Kaito could acknowledge their abuses, that it was enforced that all sorts of things Byakuya and Kaito’s family had done had been abuse, rather then just the things that had specifically happened to Kaito. 

“Ah, yikes,” Lake hummed, running a hand through her hair with the arm not around Nazumi. “I’ll admit, I’m a little excited for Mi-Mi to be able to use the whole, ‘my tia’s in the guardforce and she could kick your ass’, but that does get concerning if it goes too far. I count it as a lotta luck that pretty much the only reason I get called over to schools is for educational lectures, and not bullying incidents.”

Kokichi just looked at Kaito for a moment, processing. He…didn’t think how Byakuya would’ve used the guards was quite how they would think of bullying in general over here…and Kaito talking about her privileges… Miyako would have a lot, but for the ones they were talking to Lake and Nazumi about…

“Uh,” Kokichi started, “Maybe this is something we should talk more about at home, but… Miyako’s not going to have the same royalty-based privileges here than she would in Luminary, Kai-chan.”

Kaito waved his hand somewhat dismissively, before eating another bite of his pie. “I know, I know, but that’s just an extreme example. There’s still going to be privileges to being the daughter of the Ouma here, even if they’re not explicit. And in Luminary? She would have that ability, even renouncing her inheritance. No ones telling me Miyako will have to give up her title, which does in fact make her a Luminary Princess, still,” Kaito said, shooting Shuichi a small ‘look’, before continuing on, “Just not one that will ever inherit the throne. So we’d have to keep an eye on that while we’re in Luminary, make certain Miyako knows that, again, just because she can do something…”

Shuichi finished his pie, idly considering getting a second piece, “...perhaps it might be wise to have Miyako disown her title as well, when we go to renounce her line?”

“...” Kaito stabbed into his pie piece, “Why?”

“She doesn’t really need the title, and without it, Kaede would never be tempted to do something unpleasant… like, say, promise her in marriage to–”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” Kaito said stiffly, “And she’d still be a Dicean princess then… right?” Kaito asked, looking to Kokichi, “If she lost her luminary title, she’d still have a title here?”

Well, that was true. Even not taking the name herself, people would tend to give Miyako the benefit of the doubt, more than usual. And when people would get chatty casually, there would be a lot more to remark upon her family, since they were public faces. Still…Kokichi wasn’t entirely sure there weren’t some ideas that they were missing in cultural translation. 

He looked between his partners warily--...that definitely sounded like a conversation to have at home. Or in therapy--before he sighed softly, giving Kaito a nod. But with an uneasy look with it. “Yeah… Because she’s my daughter, and I’m a prince, she’ll be a princess. But, well… Titles don’t have the same, like…accompanying meanings here either.”

“I’m guess at least as some point she’s gonna pull the ‘my dads are the princes of Dicea and they could kick your ass’ card, same as with Lake,” Kokichi half-grinned, “But as for, like…actions? There’s not really anything extra she’d be able to do than any of her peers.”

“I knoooow, babe, I know.” Kaito grinned, giving his husband a reassuring look. “If I thought we had real royalty power? I’d have demanded that you demand that the damn phone room be repainted already… and the original painters fired.” Kaito grumbled, narrowing his eyes a little as he said, “Re-hire them for the new paint job, let them put one stroke on the wall, and then fire them. Have the real painters come in right after, while they’re still packing up, just to really dig in the wound.”

“Your Momota’s showing, Kaito.” Shuichi warned him.

“Who the hell thought urine yellow was what people wanted to be literally surrounded by during stressful conversations?! Who okay’ed that!? Aiichi!? Now that’s what you start an uprising for.” 

“I think ya better see a doc if your piss is that color,” Nazumi chuckled, resting her head on Lake’s shoulder. “Ain’t a fan? Granted, I ain’t got much reason t’ be makin’ calls, but I do have a soft spot for yellow. Nice, bright, an’ cheery.”

Kokichi looked dryly at his aunt, glancing to his sister’s gold eyes before shaking his head. “Thinking on it now, maybe a green or blue would be nice from a color theory perspective--calming colors--but I think whatever designer planned it was thinking more about having something to combat really long and dry policy discussions. The kind that make you think you haven’t seen the sun in ten years…so yellow brightens that up.”

“I guess the hiring part fits, but…I dunno if painting a room is really royalty stuff?” Lake hummed, thinking it over. “Anyone with enough vigilante justice in their hearts could just pick up a roller in the middle of the night… Now, taking someone to court to list infractions about what an asshole they are?” She snorted, already laughing a little at the idea. “Sure, sure, you’d be put in contempt of the court, but the sheer energy of a play like that… Ya gotta respect it.”

Kokichi blew a raspberry, laughing darkly. “I might actually enjoy going to court if stuff like that happened…even if it is kind of a waste for actual issues.”

Kaito had placed a hand over his mouth, deep in thought now. Kokichi had painting supplies… they probably still had the rollers somewhere from when they painted the nursery…

Shuichi laughed lightly at the idea of bringing someone to court just to publicly call them an asshole, when something came to mind. Looking to Lake, Shuichi asked pointedly, “Lake, has anyone been caught in the act of drenching someone in food?”

He ignored Kaito’s startled, somewhat alarmed glance at the question. Just looking to Lake and waiting patiently for an answer, before adding in, “Criminal records are public, right? Can someone, say, look through records looking for specific types of crimes? What would throwing food on someone be listed as?”

Lake perked up a little, surprised at the more technical question, but eager to be of help, while Nazumi’s eyes narrowed slightly. Taking in Kaito’s reaction, but choosing not to comment. Just storing away that bit of information.

“Oh, yeah--pretty horrid stuff, if you ask me. Unless it’s on purpose, like a pie throw or something, but,” she shrugged, putting a hand to her chin. “Not all crimes have a specific list for ‘em--for most cases, we, and lawyers ‘n folks, mostly need to find out what an individual’s done, so it’d be wasted effort for, like, petty theft. But if someone was arrested for throwing food?”

Humming for a moment, Lake thought through it. “Disturbance of the peace, littering, harassment, assault… It’d depend on the specific case, but those are the most likely crimes that act would fall into. Harassment based on a demographic--like against someone’s religion, or gender, or if they had a disability, or anything sexual--would have a specific list for it, but hate crimes are pretty hard to prove in court, generally.”

Kokichi sighed, nodding before explaining to his partners, “People get off lighter for crimes of passion or things that are random, rather than if they were motivated by a demographic specifically. So people tend to plead that they acted on impulse if it gets taken to court.”

“Hmm.” Shuichi hummed, nodding, “I understand. What if they’re repeat offenders? Would that be a way to narrow down the list–”

“Well, you probably need, like, an official reason to take out criminal records in bulk here, though.” Kaito interrupted, giving Shuichi a ‘dude, stop’ look, “And even if you don’t, throwing food on someone isn’t that big a deal. You just wash it off, and move on, it’s dumb to think about it any more than that.”

“Knowledge is power, Kaito, and learning about these things is equally harmless. Besides, it’s nice to learn the Dicean system better, in a non-urgent way.” Shuichi explained with a small shrug, “I do still want to get my detective license here, after all. It’s good practice for me, this thought exercise.”

“Hm,” Nazumi and Kokichi both said, looking at Kaito with pointedly searching gazes. 

Lake, used to just waiting things out while her partner and brother worked things through the ol’ tinker brain, gave a much louder hum, still wanting to answer Shuuichi. “Gets a little tricky there. There isn’t a categorical distinction until there’s quite a few repeat infractions for some crimes, but any crime, like assault, that caused another person harm are on their own data sheet.”

“Controversial practice, that one,” she nodded. “It’s a hegemonic bias, to assume that people who have committed violent crimes before will do so again--especially given that the whole purpose behind them being convicted is to help them not commit a violent crime again…but there have been enough cases in the past committed by repeat offenders that is does save the judicial system a lot of time to compile that data. As it is, we just get audited every quarter to make sure we’re not unfairly summoning or questioning people with bigger records for getting leads, but…”

She gave Kokichi a glance. “I wouldn’t be surprised if people voted on overhauling the system at some point. Too many footholds for abuse there, yanno?”

Kaito, sipping at his tea, studied Kokichi’s face as Lake said that. Looking for signs of how his husband felt about that. Did we… agree? Disaaaagreee? 

As Kaito studied Kokichi’s expressions, trying to find hints of what ‘their’ policy was on that, Shuichi tilted his head a little, personally a little glad that he could still narrow his search on previous offenders. Kaito had had multiple incidents, from the way he had carefully talked about it in the bathtub, so either there were multiple people who all were committing the same crime on the same person– which suggested said people likely had a sort of community or the type of communication that would spread the idea for that same specific crime and victim– or it was one person who had a habit of doing that. And while if it was one repeat offender who just had a ‘thing’ for harassing Kaito in particular, that didn’t necessarily indicate it was a ‘hate’ crime, but it did suggest a pattern in personality, and if Shuich was lucky, they had been caught for it at least once already. 

If the person, or group, really all had just done this type of behavior once, never before Kaito and never again afterwards, that was trickier to pin down. Shuichi wasn’t certain how urgently he was really planning to look into this– as much as he wanted to protect Kaito, he did partly agree with him that small, occasional spills on Kaito’s shirt wasn’t really ‘life threatening’ and Kaito himself talked like it happened so little and so minorly that they might actually legitimately just be accidents in crowded spaces– but he knew it’d be easier to track down and reject the potential culprits with history first, and if it wasn’t them, then spread out to the admittedly much more difficult potential culprits, ‘literally everyone else’.

“Thank you, Lake. As I said, it’s somewhat important for me to learn the Dicean system,” Shuichi smiled softly, “Now that I’m going back to school in the fall, I want to get my mind back in a ‘learning’ mindset. Take more of an initiative to teach myself as I progress.”

Kaito’s reactions were still percolating in his brain, but…if Kaito hadn’t told him about anything, then Kokichi would trust him that there was nothing to say. And if something happened in the future, then he would hope Kaito would speak up. Mind reading, even for things he had a very good hunch on…wasn’t helpful for respecting his partners. So…he would just trust that the spills Kaito had mentioned really were just as innocuous as he said they were, and Shuuichi really was just using the idea as an exercise. 

And while he did have an obligation to be a moral center for judging fair policy…damn, dude?! Kokichi had no idea what to do about that. He wanted to believe the best of his people, no matter what they had done in the past, but delaying methods that, if implemented, could potentially save people from harm? Uuuuugh, he didn’t know. It was the sort of issue he was glad would become a mass vote--he could better see the comfort of his people if he literally saw their opinions.

Beaming at Shuuichi, Lake thrust her hand forward in a thumbs up. “I’m happy to help! We may not be doing the same work, if you get back into detectin’, but we would be in similar fields. I’ll always do my best to answer any questions ya got.”

Shuichi smiled, nodding appreciatively, while Kaito glanced at the door, before looking to his partners, “Since this has worked out, uh, faster than we thought it might, maybe we should think about relieving your dad, ‘Kichi. I know he doesn’t mind watching Miya, but…”

“You know what I’d like to do on the way home?” Shuichi said, sipping his lemonade and tilting his head a little, looking deeply contemplative, “...let’s visit the sweets store.”

At that, Kaito shot Shuichi a somewhat dry look, “You guys have so much candy already.”

“I know, but I’m craving fresh pastries.”

“Trying to escape us already, huh?” The accusation was completely undercut by Lake’s bright, booming laugh, and if that wasn’t enough, then her untangling herself from Nazumi (missing the briefly disappointed look from the other woman) and starting to collect the princes’ empty cups and plates made her cheer and acceptance clear. 

Following Lake’s lead after a moment, Nazumi shook her head, raising an eyebrow at Shuuichi’s desire and the immediate interest in Kokichi’s face. “Right after pie?”

“You forget, ‘Zumi,” Lake snorted, moving all the dishes to one arm as she ruffled Kokichi’s hair affectionately, “These two have endless stomachs for sweets. And if Mi-Mi’s anything like this little punk, then it’ll be an uphill battle for the rest of us to get her to give anything else a chance.”

Moving towards the kitchen, Nazumi quickly straightening out the dishes in her arms, Lake gave Kaito a wink. “The kind of challenge that we’re up for, yeah? Glory sweeter than any pastry.”

“Uhhhh, no,” Kokichi rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out at his sister’s back. “Sweets are still better. But…yeah, thanks for having us over, and agreeing to be Miya’s godparents. See you guys tomorrow?”

“Sure as geese honkin’, Kokichi!” Nazumi called, giving the family a wave.

“Gonna try my best, but man, three against one is gonna be a challenge, just watch.” Kaito sighed, giving Lake an agreeing nod, before the three were off.

It was a nice day. The end of summer was approaching and the air was cooling. Plants weren’t quite changing color yet, but it wouldn’t be long now. Some overzealous people were already wearing long sleeves and warmer hats. Kaito mindlessly took Kokichi’s hand, rubbing it affectionately with his thumb, as he looked around to people watch as they walked.

“...chickened out, huh?” Shuichi asked.

“Auuuuuuuuuuugh.” Kaito groaned, throwing his face into his other hand, “They were so happy.”

Leaning against Kaito’s arm, Kokichi gave it a comforting pat and squeezed his hand for good measure. “I know they wouldn’t hold it against you, but…it does feel weird, bringing up such good news then asking about something painful. It still is a conversation you should have, but…”

He shrugged a little, giving Kaito’s arm a hug. “You can choose your timing for it. As long as it doesn’t get to the point of avoidance for avoidance’s sake, there’s a degree of tact in waiting for a good time. Even Dr. Mariah’s agreed with me there.”

Blinking at Shuuichi, Kokichi reached out to take his hand too. “Did you really wanna head by Miss Andou’s, or were you looking for an excuse to wrap things up?”

“Oh, no, I absolutely want to stop by the sweets store.” Shuichi said, readily accepting Kokichi’s hand– even if a part of him was always mildly conscious that it made them a Wall on the pathways– as he ran his other hand through his hair a little, barring hat today, “I wasn’t trying to save Kaito, I just wanted to get my sweets expectations out good and early.”

“Was it becaaaaause my pie was so good that it left you craving more?” Kaito tried, giving Shuichi a somewhat earnest look.

“I think you hold back in how much sugar you use in the pies.” Shuichi said honestly.

“The sweetness should come from the fruit, Shuichi.” Kaito insisted, “You shouldn’t need a ton more sugar on top of that! …not sweet enough then?”

“It was good, Kaito, it just made me craving more, like you said.” Shuichi said, smiling lightly at him to show he had been teasing a bit, “And Kokichi’s right. You bringing it up right then, in that moment? It would have changed what’s going to be a very nice memory for all of us down the road into something uncomfortable, if not outright hostile. You were right to wait for a better time… so long as you don’t avoid it indefinitely.”

“What if I just resigned myself into believing that we’re all never going to die and I don’t ever have to think about it?”

“...actually, maybe this is something we should talk about in therapy?” Shuichi realized, raising an eyebrow, “I think I just had a revelation, but I already know I’m not going to explain it right.”

“Yeah?” Kaito asked, giving his fiance a curious look over Kokichi’s head, “Wanna try anyway? I’m curious, open to being arm-chair psychoanalyzed.”

“It’s just… you’re extremely protective of Kokichi,” Shuichi pointed out, “And you’ve known about Nazumi’s history for a long time now.”

“Yeah?” Kaito prompted, as Shuichi paused.

“So… why doesn’t this fear manifest for Kokichi?” Shuichi asked, “You’re afraid of Nazumi regressing and harming Miyako’s loved ones, right? Shouldn’t that fear be basically identical for Kokichi?”

“...hm.” Kaito hummed. “...hm.”

“Hm,” Kokichi joined, his eyebrows lowering as the very trenchant point was made. “I mean…Aunty was scared of that for a long time herself. She wasn’t exactly in a place to be scared of it when she met Lake, really, at least how they tell it, but she certainly gained that fear at some point, and that did come up for me too.”

Kokichi suddenly snorted, shaking his head a little. “...it was really novel, when we were getting to know each other. I was used to people treating me like glass, and I was very vocal in hating it, but Nazumi was the first person I’d met who acted like their hands were made of lava. I almost got her taken in by her parole officer ‘cause I was being so demanding the only thing she could think to do was run away. Funny to laugh about now, but I really think I terrified her.”

Tracing the space in Kaito’s hands between the joints of his thumb and fingers, Kokichi hummed softly. “...I think this would be a good therapy topic. Just so we can all think it through a little more.”

“Well, of course she would. It’s tough when you know exactly what you’re capable of.” Kaito murmured, glancing at Kokichi’s neck. But, to Shuichi’s point, Kaito frowned. “It’s not that I don’t worry about Kokichi either…”

…except he didn’t. It had literally never occurred to him to be worried about Kokichi in this situation. Even thinking about it now, Kaito more just felt… sad and a little disturbed, when he thought about Nazumi’s past. Sad about her situation with Lake, sad about imagining having to live with something like that on her conscious, sad for the people who would never get back what she took from them. A deep, uncomfortable sadness that made him ache.

But that wasn’t fear. 

Though when Miyako entered the equation…

Kaito shuddered, placing his hand over his stomach in a small attempt to soothe the way it twisted. Maybe that wasn’t surprising? Paternal instincts making him overly protective. That was natural… but Kokichi and Shuichi weren’t struggling with that at all, it seemed. So why couldn’t Kaito get past it?

“...yeaaaah. We’ll talk about it in therapy.” Kaito sighed, though he couldn’t help rolling his eyes, “Though please don’t let another, like, entire session become about me. I swear, I’m starting to feel like an attention hog. Like, oooooh, let’s talk about ‘Kaito’ again for another, like… two hours or whatever. Never realized how exhausting people caring about you and your problems are.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a more somber smile before shrugging. 

He knew he was in a more unique situation when it came to that outlook than a lot of people. A lot of people he had grown up around had done horrible things or had been put in horrible situations, and Kokichi was given insight into exactly what the human spirit was capable of in the name of survival. And while he hadn’t internalized it until more recently, he had come to realize that people had a hard time letting those instincts go once the situation wasn’t about survival anymore. 

It was something even Nazumi could have a laugh about now, but at the time? She had been a young woman painfully aware of the harm and havoc she could inflict on others, and he was some snotty kid demanding that she call him by his name and play games just like his sister. A degree of closeness, because while he had known she was on probation and had done Bad Things…she was his sister’s friend, and Kokichi trusted Lake’s judgement. So there had been nothing to fear from Nazumi, in his eyes. 

And even now he knew that she still doubted that sometimes. But while it had been blind faith before…he genuinely trusted her. Having seen her struggles and triumphs over the years…part of his more acerbic comments about Lake and Nazumi’s relationship had been intentionally to drive them away, yes, but some of it had just been his frustration. Able to see the strong, kind people they had grown into, while they were still stuck in the muck of their pasts, and it was frustrating to see people he loved just self-sabotage their own happiness like that. 

But even with that sabotage, he trusted them, to the point he knew they wouldn’t sabotage his daughter’s happiness even for a second. 

“It doesn’t seem like attention hog behavior to me,” Kokichi hummed, before squeezing Kaito’s hand again, “But it is really hard doing that much reflection and vulnerable honesty all at once. We’ll make sure that isn’t the only thing on the docket for our next appointment, promise.”

“Thank you, beautiful~” Kaito said cheerfully, bringing up Kokichi’s hand and kissing the back of it… before squinting at Shuichi, “See, Shuichi? Kokichi’s all cute and considerate. You just tease man. What happened?”

“You know, that would make me feel worse, if I didn’t know you liked it.” Shuichi said simply, not even glancing at Kaito.

“...yeah.” Kaito grinned, “My spicy fiance. Who’d have ever guessed, my Shuichi… hey guys. Guys?? Guess what?” Kaito wiggled his shoulders a little, lighting up, “We’re getting married soon.”

At that, Shuichi shot Kokichi a puzzled look, asking softly, “Are we still letting him do that? You know, three people doing the ceremony is going to be so crowded, don’t you think?”

“Hardy-har-har, shut up, you’re marrying me.” Kaito said, no room for argument, “You got me a ring, no take backsies. Right, ‘Kichi??”

Kokichi giggled, still tickled pink by the prospect of their wedding, even with the ever-looming date piling on the stress of his to-do list. Popping up on his toes to kiss Shuuichi’s cheek, Kokichi gave him an amused look. “If you wanna be the one to go through our invitation list and explain the change in plans, be my guest. I set up getting nice cards from the scribes and made sure they all got mailed, and I’m not doing any more work for that.”

“...still gotta finalize outfits and finish getting decorations, though,” he sighed, deflating a bit. “This next week’s gonna go by in a blur, I’m telling you, and we’re still not gonna be done with everything…”

“But I’m not gonna wait a second longer to be married so…I’ll get over it.” With another giggle, he snuggled up to Shuuichi’s side.

As they came up to the candy store, Kaito disentangled himself from Kokichi to go open the door for both of them, “Look, if there’s anything you guys want me to take over when it comes to wedding prep stuff, just let me know. All I’ve really done is ensure the binding ceremony stuff is scheduled and worked out, and that took me, like… a day. And most of that day was begging a veterinarian to come by that morning and get us some Nini-juice.”

“Nini-juice he calls it.” Shuichi murmured to himself, taking in the shops atmosphere quickly before bee-lining for the pastries.

“I’m just saying, I can help more.” Kaito said, glancing around indifferently before following behind them.

“You taking on the Miyako load while Kokichi and I are running around doing errands is genuinely already very helpful, Kaito,” Shuichi said, leaning over the counter to peer through the glass, taking in the various beautiful, relatively fresh pastries with hungry eyes, as he murmured to himself, “Do I feel like something tarty? Lemon truffle looks good…”

It did seem a little pushy, if it was meant that way, but if Kokichi genuinely meant it then…was that manipulative? “Well…if you did happen to have some free time, and wanted to help with prep… You could see Denji-kyo about the clothes? They do have my measurements, especially with all the fittings I did for Zenith, but,” he shrugged, “They’re a perfectionist, you know? And I’ve been kind of putting it off… I don’t have the patience for standing around then sitting, then holding my arms out, and humming about a bunch of cloth swatches that look the same to me…”

Joining Shuuichi at the pastry case, Kokichi appraised the spread himself, eyes lingering on a puff pastry filled with chestnut cream, a seasonal treat that was advertised as much. Though, he looked back at Kaito with a small smile. “Honestly, you’d probably be a lot better at sorting out all the fashion stuff than I ever manage.”

Kaito lit up a little, nodding enthusiastically, “Yeah, I can do that! I mean, I’m not sure how well they could finish the little details on your measurements without you there, but absolutely, if there’s a way I can help without having to drag you guys into it, I’d love to help!”

Plus, maybe this was it! This was his chance to get to know Denji! Yeeees. Slowly but surely, Kaito was going to get close to Kokichi’s family! Integrate. Assimilate? He couldn’t remember the word he was really looking for, but yeah! He was doing it!

As Kaito was preening over his future opportunities to woo Kokichi’s family– in a non-sexy way– there was a small tug at his pants. Glancing down, Kaito raised his eyebrows as a small body slumped against his leg, digging their forehead into his thigh in a strange sort of armless hug, before Lorene looked up and drawled sleepily, “Hiiiiiiii Prince Kaitooooooo.”

It actually took Kaito a second to remember her name, but it came to him as he patted her head a bit, her light, light silver eyes almost a ghostly white as she looked lazily up at him, still half slumped against him, “Oh! Lorene, hello. Where’s your… ah! Hi!”

Lorene’s foster mother, along with Javier, were watching the cotton candy machine spin. Javier looked enraptured, not noticing Kaito’s call, but the mother had looked over and nodded politely, checking on Lorene before deciding if she had just wandered away to say hi to the princes then it was probably fine. 

Shuichi barely knew Lorene at all, beyond just having her name memorized as a member of the group. But he still smiled gently like he knew her, as he asked the child, “Hello Lorene. Are you here for sweets?”

Lorene, still entirely content to use Kaito’s leg as a support wall, nodded sleepily, “Yeeeaaaaaah. We put away all the dishes every day, so the lady said we could get a–” Lorene yawned, now lazily wrapping her arms around Kaito’s leg to more securely lay against it, closing her eyes “--treats.”

“Hey, that’s awesome! Good job!” Kaito encouraged her.

“Hmmmm.” Lorene hummed, eyes still closed.

Kokichi lit up as he noticed the little one clinging to Kaito’s leg, but beyond a small moment of bouncing on his toes, he kept himself reserved. He did tend to get along better with the toddlers of Maki’s siblings, but it wasn’t like they threw themselves at him like Lorene was doing to Kaito right now, and while she was a part of his community, for the most part Lorene was no different. Still…he couldn’t help but feel more kinship towards her, excited to see her grow up safely and happily.

“That’s wonderful,” Kokichi added onto Kaito’s praise, looking up to give Lorene’s foster mother and Javier a small wave. “Do you know what you want? Treats as a prize always taste even better than regular treats, in my experience.”

The mother– or the lady, as Lorene seemed content to call her– waved back cheerfully at Kokichi, as Javier finally finished reading the instructions and, taking a nearby stick, stuck it into the cottony candy machine… “Wah! Lorene! Look!!’

Lorene slumped her head up, still tilting on Kaito’s leg with her chest, before peering her incredibly light eyes over at Javier, “...neeeeaaaaat.”

“Do you wanna do yours next!?” Javier shouted, still valiantly keeping his stick out as it became a bigger and bigger cottony candy ball. His foster mother clearly trying to judge when would be the right time to interfere and starting to sweat a little as the cotton ball grew.

“...yeah.” Lorene decided, before in one fluid motion, rolling her head over to look blearily at Kokichi, pointing at the machine, “Gonna do… that one.”

“Oh yeah? That does look like a fun one to do,” Kaito mused, patting Lorene’s head again before asking, “You wanna go join your brother?”

Ah, but there was the conflict… Lorene had found the most perfect thigh to rest her weary head against. Soft and wide enough that she could just snuggle in. And it came with princely head paps too. She could take a nap right here, she knew it. Oh, to give up pillow leg for sugar stick… the ultimate choice…

Kokichi smiled fondly, his chest filling with giggles but not letting them out, not wanting to make Lorene think he was laughing at her. There was just something…endearing and nostalgic about the simple pleasures of getting sweets. Especially from a sleepy little kid. 

A sleepy little kid that looked just about ready to fall asleep on Kaito, which…yeah, he related to too. And while she would have to leave him at some point…

“I’ll never get over how cool spinning cotton candy is,” Kokichi shook his head with a small laugh, before tugging Kaito’s sleeve gently. “Can we go over to watch? I’d say it’s even cooler than watching someone pull taffy.”

Also realizing that the small child was seriously tempted to fall asleep on his leg, Kaito gave Kokichi a somewhat sheepish grin as he nodded, “Yeah, course we can. Shuichi?”

“I’ll meet you there, I’ll order our pastries.” Shuichi said, looking to Kokichi, “Point to which one you wanted.”

After Kokichi did so, Kaito grinned down at Lorene, reaching down to take her arms gently from around his leg. She peered up at him lazily, pouting a little as she thought he was just getting her to let go, but her eyes widened in slight startlement as he let his hands run down her arms and grasp her little hands, bringing them up high as he said in a cheerful little sing-song voice, “Alright, little miss~ it’s time to be like the cotton candy!”

“Eh? W-ah!” Lorene gasped, as Kaito picked her up by her hands, before carefully moving his hands around so that her body spun first in one direction, than ricocheted the other, her legs flailing out as at first she gasped, then giggled in delight as he spun her in half turns some more. Looking more awake when Kaito finally put her down, he kept hold of one hand to spin her in a small twirling dance motion once, and when she finished the spin, he gently pushed the giggling five year old towards the cotton candy machine. 

Javier, in turn, seemed to have literally only just noticed Prince Kaito’s presence just now, finally taking out his oversized cotton candy stick to show it off to him proudly as he shouted, “Prince Kaito! Look what I did!”

“Oh, heck yeah! Look how big that is! …oh man, do you have to pay by how big the cotton candy is bunched?” Kaito whispered to the foster mom, who, again, just seemed to be sweating a little as Javier waved his prize like a torch, his toothy smile wide with delight.

“Myyyyyy turn!” Lorene insisted, looking more pumped now as Javier showed her where to get her stick, showing her the wisdom of his experience as he told her where to shove it into the machine for best cotton candy catching. Lorene deciding as she stuck it in, “I’m gonna make an even bigger one!”

“That is just gonna be, like… so much sugar.” Kaito whispered to the foster mom sympathetically, who giggled into a little sigh as he guessed, “They’re gonna be wired.” 

“Thank you, Shuu-chan. Love you,” Kokichi grinned as he pointed out the cream puff, following the Hyper Light Kaito Drifter and its sole rider over to the cotton candy machine. …Kaito really was excellent with kids. Kokichi had never really considered that a trait he’d love in people he was attracted to, but every time Kaito inspired wide smiles and bright giggles Kokichi fell a little more in love. 

“Nice job! You really got the hang of spinning it, huh?” Kokichi praised Javier, giggling at Lorene’s ambitions before giving their foster mom an understandingly sheepish look. Not so much for being a parent realizing how deep the promise of a treat had gotten them--even if Kokichi did have that experience, taking Tim and the girls to the candy shop before--but…well, he had a lot of experience being that kid. All great memories…but he was grown enough to know what he’d put his guardians through. 

“It still is a lot of air spun into it…but yeah. Good luck.”

The foster mother thanks Kokichi for his well wishes, still smiling and still, just, sweating, as Lorene determindly held her stick in for a while and–

“I gotta give it to her. It was a big cotton candy wrap.” Kaito mused, the three of them heading up the castle stairs to their room, Kaito chewing lightly on some green licorice he had bought in a bag, “Like, you’d think once they got that big they’d fall off the stick, ya know? But nope. Held tight.”

“I mean, cotton candy even at its densest isn’t that heavy. Mind you, I’m not a fan of that treat myself. It’s always tasted slightly off to me,” Shuichi said, chewing on the last of his pastry as they headed onto their floor, “Never could get past how artificial it tastes.”

“I guess I don’t really know what cotton candy’s made of, beyond sugar. There’s gotta be more to it though.” Kaito mused… before looking expectantly at Kokichi. Waiting for the explanation to fall out of him. 

Kokichi was lightly patting around his face, trying to feel for any stray spots of cream, but he didn’t disappoint. “It is mostly sugar, but…how often do you see someone walking around with just white cotton candy, right? It’s always pink or blue or green or yellow…or combinations of it. And that means that there’s flavorings in it too. Nothing that fancy, though--cotton candy is just melted sugar that’s air-cooled and blown to make the strands, so the flavoring is just anything you put in the melted down part.”

“I don’t really like blue cotton candy,” he gave Shuuichi a nod, “But the green and yellow ones always have a more subtle flavor, to me at least, so Shuu-chan might like those more. Pink’s a classic, though.”

Quiet for a moment, Kokichi smiled to himself. “...it was nice seeing them. I always get so excited, seeing Maki-chan’s siblings in town, but…well, I get extra excited seeing Lorene. I hope her sleepiness is just little kid sleepiness and she’s not keeping herself up exploring her abilities.”

“Oh… oh.” Kaito said, looking genuinely shocked as he realized, “Oh that’s right. You did say that, didn’t you… huh.”

Shuichi was unsurprised, just nodding as he agreed, “I have to imagine if I was her age and could literally play around in my sleep at night, I’d be tempted to spend the night daydreaming too. Well, in theory. In truth, I probably wouldn’t come up with much to do… now, if Kaito had access to that ability?”

“Oh, yeah, no, I’d be doomed. I’d never sleep again.” Kaito admitted, shrugging a bit as he went to go open the door for them, “Ya know, before they became all stress dreams, back when they were more lighthearted–” barring the Byakuya situation, “--I used to really love a good dream. They were fun! Adventurous. Very often sexy, if in an infuriating way– hey, Ikuo! We’re back!”

“So you’ve told me,” Kokichi nodded. “Your dreams always sound so wild and cool…and there’s some incredible stuff you come up with when we make a dream. I get teased a lot for being too serious with my abilities, but I know I’d fall into that camp too, and I need all the sleep I can get.”

Looking up, Ikuo gave the fathers a wave before returning his hand to Little Lamb, Miyako thankfully unbothered by her friend’s brief pause of the intricate dance routine they were showing off. Or, rather, she was distracted by the return of some very important and distracting people. 

{Hello, little starling~ We’re back}

Coming over to his father, Kokichi gave him a fond nudge before sitting next to him, facing Miyako all propped up on pillows for the show. “She been alright for you?”

“Gracious as usual,” Ikuo nodded, turning Little Lamb in a pirouette. “Grumpy outta ‘er nap, but th’ theater seems ta be doin’ the trick.”

Kaito grinned, his chest swelling with pride as he peered at Miyako from the desk, putting down his bag of licorice, “She’s gonna be little thespian guys. Just like dad! I used to have the exact same fixation on puppets!”

Shuichi, heading over to Miyako and leaning over to place a small kiss on the top of her head– his baby rewarding him with happy little kicks as she gave him a fascinated look– went to go take off his blazer next and hang it up to air out a bit, “...puppets?” Shuichi asked, tilting his head at Kaito a bit, “Have I heard about this before?”

“Oh, maybe not? This was when I was little, and honestly I only know about it because other people have told me. Not the sort of thing that would just come up I guess?” Kaito laughed, snagging Shuichi around the waist when his fiance wandered too close, pulling him in to rest against his hips as Kaito leaned back on the desk. “Yeah, I was fixated on puppet shows when I was a little kid. Apparently I couldn’t get enough of them. Got to the point where it became less ‘cute’ and more ‘oh god please stop’ as I asked to rewatch the shows over and over again. Apparently just never got tired of it.”

“You know, you have mentioned this before.” Shuichi recalled, allowing himself to be captured and leaning back into Kaito’s hold, the two of them watching Kokichi and Ikuo fuss over Miya, “Because I distinctly remember dreading the same fate. Rereading the same book to her, over and over… it’s in our future, I’m certain.”

“Hey, Ikuo!” Kaito asked, swaying with Shuichi a little as he rested his chin on Shuichi’s shoulder, “Kokichi have any little baby fixations like that?”

“Mm,” Kokichi hummed wistfully, giving color commentary to Little Lamb’s dance…though Miyako probably enjoyed the warm, lovey feelings he was sending along with them more than his perhaps not baby-level comedy. “I’ll look forward to going to all her plays…if she’s still into them. Considering how vehemently against puppets you are these days.”

But it was still nice to imagine. Tim put up with it for Cali and Kimiko’s whims, but Kokichi had a feeling he wouldn’t be caught dead in any production bigger than an impromptu festival performance, so…Miyako had a good chance at being their theater child.

Giving up his fingers to his daughter, Kokichi just sighed as Ikuo’s eyes lit up. “‘E were always a fan ‘a those colorful, rhymin’ books. Th’ Dr. Smeuss, ones. Couldn’ tell ya how many times I read Green Eggs ‘n Ham bef’er bedtime.” 

“Awwww, yeah?” Kaito grinned, still comfortably swaying with Shuichi, heavily resisting the urge to lay a track of little kisses against his neck. His neck was right there… but so was Ikuo. Shuichi would hate it. Damn. “We’ll have to get those books then. Kokichi can reminisce! And you can get sweet, sweet revenge, grandpa~ nothing like watching the kid go through what he put you through, I imagine.”

“Do you hate puppets, Kaito?” Shuichi asked, still thinking about that comment. 

“‘Hate’ is a strong word. Any toy with eyes makes me nervous now. I swear I can feel them staring…” Kaito said this, glancing over his shoulder and looking warily at the closed closet door, as he murmured, “always waiting. For the perfect time to steal husbands.”

“Hm… even Little Lamb?”

“Little Lamb is Miyako’s best friend, it gets a pass.”

Kokichi rolled his eyes, nudging Ikuo a little as he recognized his dad’s version of a smirk on his face. Revenge indeed…even if there wasn’t resentment or unbearable suffering on either end. 

“I definitely am reading those books to her. More than a few are kinda heavy handed with social and political commentary, but,” Kokichi shrugged, “A lot of children’s literature is blatant about morals anyway. And I remember just liking the cadence of the words and the fun designs more than anything when I was really little anyway.”

Sighing, Kokichi gave Kaito a dry look. “...it’s a stuffed animal, Kai-chan. A comfort object. I don’t think those people off marrying walls are hurting anyone, but I am comfortably and happily married to you and that’s not changing.”

“Um, excuse you, yes it is.” Shuichi pointed out, while Kaito nodded enthusiastically. 

“Well, I mean, my husband titles not changing.” Kaito conceded.

“You’re gonna be called Second Husband.” Shuichi decided.

“What!? Wait, but… I came first!”

“Fine. ‘Minor’ husband.”

“Okay, if anything, that’s Kokichi.” 

“Lesser husband.”

“Okay, see, times liked these. Then I miss ‘sweet’ Shuichi. You were so nice to me! No way you’d go running to collect marbles I throw these days.”

“True~” Shuichi smirked lightly, happily leaning more into Kaito’s hug as Kaito placed a small kiss against his temple.

“I guess you are right,” Kokichi hummed, “I’m gonna be even more comfortable and happier married to Kai-chan when I’m married to you too. My bad, poor wording.”

“And I don’t wanna be minor husband,” he pouted. “If anything, I wanna be…major husband. ‘Cause Kai-chan’s obviously lydian husband, ‘cause he’s the brightest. I think Shuu-chan will be phrygian husband, ‘cause he’s dark and cool, but not ‘ow, the edge’ kind of dark.”

Shaking his head, Ikuo finished off Little Lamb’s routine with a deep bow, before he looked to the others. “I never mind lookin’ after li’l miss longer, but y’all think yer stickin’ ‘round fer th’ day?”

Miyako was chewing on Kokichi’s finger, happily watching the end of the performance, before she gave Kaito a baffled look when he started to applaud the bow. Just looking startled at this latest bout of madness in her poor, elderly father. Father, father why? Why must you sometimes make random noises? She is so concerned for you, father. 

DING DING DING

“Alright, fine, no clapping, geez.” Kaito pouted, wincing at the bells in his head, “We should be good for today, Ikuo. Thanks again, you’re a lifesaver.”

“...I don’t get the joke.” Shuichi finally admitted, pouting a little. “What’s a lydian? It’s not in my vocabulary.”

“Awww, that makes sense. You were never taught music.” Kaito grinned, sneaking a little intimate kiss on the base of Shuichi’s ear, who huffed a bit. “We’ll get Kokichi to show you what he means on the piano sometime. You need to hear a performance from him! He’s so good! We need more Kokichi piano time!!”

Giving Miyako a fond little rustling of her head and relinquishing Little Lamb back to its best friend, Ikuo got up, making his farewells to each of his kids on the way out. 

Meanwhile, Kokichi huffed, coloring a little though he didn’t look all that put out. “I’m not that good… But I will show you what I meant, Shuu-chan. I think it makes a little more sense if you can hear it. Basically…” He paused, caressing Miyako’s cheeks where he could with his trapped finger. “Well…do you know what major and minor scales in music are?”

Shuichi gave Ikuo a small wave goodbye, before relaxing back into Kaito’s chest. Noting with fond amusement that the second the door shut behind Ikuo, Kaito suddenly had every desire to want to lay little kisses on his neck. Shuichi leaned his head slightly to accommodate, as he pouted a bit, “...I want to say… major is high pitch, minor is low pitch?”

“Mmmmm,” Kaito hummed, “...I mean… sorta.”

“Not quite,” Kokichi hummed, giving Shuuichi a sheepish look. He knew how much Shuuichi hated being wrong about things, so…he really wasn’t trying to make a point out of a mental blind spot. Scooping Miyako into his arms, he settled back against the wall to explain. 

“A scale is a collection of notes, usually arranged from the lowest pitch to the highest in notation, and, generally, the scale is named after that lowest note, also called the root. A lot of scales also have other names, sometimes to explain how that scale is used for various styles in music, or to describe to other stuffy music theorists that they know musical models better than anyone else,” Kokichi chuckled. 

“But scales go beyond just starting from a low pitch, right? So we get the modes--versions of a scale that, while in the same key, apply different moods or degrees of musical brightness. The major and minor scales are the two best known modes--major being the second brightest mode, having no flat notes, and minor being the third darkest, containing three flat notes.”

Giving Shuuichi another sheepish look, Kokichi shrugged before placing a smooch on Miyako’s head. “It’s…kind of a lot of nonsense, I know, and stuff like that is really only helpful if you’re a composer, a music theorist, or you’re teaching music theory.”

“Or trying to impress your super smart fiance with your own niche, awesome knowledge of music.” Kaito practically purred into Shuichi’s throat, a… little caught up in planting affection onto Shuichi’s skin. Mmmm… warm Shuichi smell… “Isn’t our Kokichi smart, Shuichi? I love listening to him talk like that. It’s so impressive~”

“Hmmm.” Shuichi pouted a little– one of his cheeks puffing out a little, in a classic ‘hangs around too often with Maki’ move– before he let out a breath and nodded, “It is impressive. You’re correct, Kokichi, I’d appreciate you showing me in practice what you mean. I think I do understand it a little, but hearing the sounds you’re using as an example would be enlightening.”

“And sexy~”

“Kaito, we just got home, calm down a little.”

Kaito just hummed contently, burying his face into the crook of Shuichi’s neck and breathing in deeply. Holding him firmly around the waist, perfectly content to not calm down at all, even a little bit, thank you very much.

…then a scent started coming off of Miyako, and Kaito groaned. “Miya, why?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s your turn Kaito.” Shuichi smirked.

“For sure,” Kokichi nodded, before he huffed softly. “I think it’d be even better if I could play you some pieces that highlight the uses of various modes but…it usually takes me weeks if not months to learn any piece, and I usually just…learn whatever. But it’ll be demonstration enough, I suppose.”

Kokichi was all content to settle down with his family for cuddling and…extreme cuddling, but, as it turned out, Miyako had different ideas. 

Sighing, he stood up, starting to bring her over to the changing station. “I’ve already got her, don’t worry about it hun.”

With a look over his shoulder, Kokichi gave his partners a smirk. “You can keep lovin’ on Shuu-chan until he’s really had enough.”

Shuichi stuck his tongue out at Kokichi– his joke thwarted by kindly Dicean antics– before he gave Kaito a genuinely shocked look when Kaito decided to choose that exact moment to place a small kiss at the edge of Shuichi’s mouth, practically kissing the side of his tongue. “Kaito!”

“Hm?” Kaito grinned, all teeth, “Yes?”

“That was weird.”

“You used me as a table.”

“... that doesn’t make what you just did any less weird.” Shuichi huffed, looking away and turning up his nose as Kaito chuckled at Shuichi’s fluster, kissing at his neck some more. “Who kisses someone’s tongue?”

“Me, to you, literally all the time. Like, half the time we kiss.” Kaito pointed out, “What else am I doing but kissing your tongue when I shove mine in there? If you wanted to call it something else, all I’m doing is licking the darn thing, and that sounds way weirder described.”

“You're about to lose all kissing privileges.” Shuichi grumbled.

“I want you to use my toys on me so badly, handsome.” Kaito whispered into his ear, as Shuichi’s face turned increasingly red at that. “Come play with Kaito~”

“W-what, now!?” Shuichi stammered, now genuinely flustered as he wiggled out of Kaito’s grip. Kaito was a little disappointed, but let him go as Shuichi put some space between them, leaning his hands back on the desk and pouting at his fiance as Shuichi turned to him and crossed his arms over his chest, “Kaito, it’s still the middle of the day.”

“What, we’re gonna do it later?” Kaito asked dryly, “Night time isn’t exactly always the most convenient time for us.”

“We… we just sent Ikuo away.”

“Kokichi’s here! I mean, I doubt he’d want to be involved in this anyway. Somehow I don’t think me being put on my back is exactly his ‘thing’. Right babe?” Kaito asked, nodding over to Kokichi. “It’d ruin some of the mystique for you, right?”

Glancing up from wiping Miyako down, Kokichi raised an eyebrow at Kaito, giving him an utterly bewildered look before he refocused at the important task at hand. Miyako didn’t mind being nakey for a while if they took their time changing her, but if her new diaper was clasped in just the wrong way, hell on earth began to reign. 

“What gave you that idea?” he questioned. “I mean, I really wouldn’t mind bein’ with Miya if you guys wanted to spend time together, but seeing Shuu-chan rail Kai-chan? That’s really hot. Just ‘cause you have fun bottoming doesn’t mean you aren’t good at topping me later.”

Kaito raised both eyebrows at that, looking genuinely shocked as he crossed one leg over another, resting back on his hands as he Kokichi a somewhat inquisitive look, “...really?”

“Why does that surprise you?” Shuichi asked, admittedly somewhat relieved as he felt the energy shift. Kaito had that ‘want to analyze’ look on his face, which Shuichi could get behind. He didn’t find sexual preferences nearly as fascinating as Kaito did, but watching his fiance get really into trying to pin down exactly why someone would or wouldn’t like something could be pretty entertaining, if only for sheer enthusiasm.

Kaito tilted his head, tapping at the edge of the desk a little, “Mmmm, cause… I guess I’ve always imagined that for, like, the ‘no argument’ subs? That they kinda didn’t get much of anything out of watching someone else bottom, or at least not without getting their place in line? Like, if they got something out of just watching someone else bottom for its own sake, they’d wanna top themselves, I guess? And our ‘Kichi doesn’t have that in him.”

“Hmmm… you’re placing a lot of faith that if Kokichi was watching, he’d be focused on you. I’d be there too.” Shuichi said, tilting his head up a little and giving Kaito a cool’ed look, “Perhaps he’d be getting off on me.”

Very…very carefully, watching Miyako both with his eyes and with his brain to change course at even the slightest indication of discomfort Kokichi started wrapping up her diaper, letting out a soft breath when she simply gurgled, eyes fixed fascinatedly on him. Another changing session defeated without casualty. 

Wiping down his hands to put her back in her crib before he’d go wash his hands properly, Kokichi just gave Kaito another confused, faintly amused look. “I mean…yeah. I would really enjoy seein’ Shuu-chan get into it too. But…”

Kokichi huffed a laugh, giving Kaito an almost incredulous look. “...does it just not occur to you that seeing my partners enjoying themselves is hot? Sure, there are a few lines for me that I wouldn’t enjoy even if you guys do, but…for the most part? You two are sexy to me, and the context around that doesn’t really change.”

“But it’s such a different vibe.” Kaito argued, while Shuichi went to go give Miyako’s head a few rubs and pats now that she was all clean and nice smelling again, “Like, it’s such an entirely different way of feeling good! Or seeing that in someone else! Like, plenty of people don’t like mixing and merging the worlds!”

“The ‘worlds’?” Shuichi huffed, giving Kaito a glance over his shoulder as he said, “Okay, we’re talking to Korekiyo’s Kaito right now, aren’t we.”

“Just because he pointed it out to me doesn’t mean it wasn’t a recurring thing with my other partners too.” Kaito pouted, “I just didn’t recognize it before he explained it. Not everyone’s into seeing certain people in certain roles.”

“...I think I understand what you’re trying to argue.” Shuichi realized, leaning down to give Miyako a small kiss on her cheek, before leaving the baby to bask in the sun coming in from the window as he turned on her mobile, which they had stolen from the nursery when Miyako’s {BORED} cries had started to become more frequent. “Do you think Kokichi seeing you bottom would be a turnoff for him, then?”

“It’s what I would have guessed, yeah.” Kaito shrugged.

“But he’s seen me bottom plenty of times, and that’s not a turn-off because…?”

“Well, like I said, he’s getting to enjoy his own part in it. And, also, well…” Kaito shrugged again, gesturing between Shuichi and himself, “Ya know.”

Shuichi gave Kaito a curious look at that, “I know what?”

“You, ya know… fit the type… ugh.” Kaito rolled his eyes, before gesturing to himself, “I’m squared up and muscled down, Shuichi, I’m a niche. For a lot of people? Seeing someone like me in that position is actually repulsive. You have to be careful who you try that with, some people seriously hate it.”

Shuichi, briefly, tried to decide if he was offended that Kaito didn’t say what it felt like he was dancing around– that Shuichi wasn’t masculine enough for people to consider him not suitable to bottom– but he had known he was on the softer side of traditional masculinity even before the… changes. But he decided he’d revisit that when he thought about it more, instead deciding to poke at another thing Kaito had been sort of dancing around, frowning a bit, “Oh, Kaito… Korekiyo really got into your head, huh?”

“It’s not his fault if he’s just pointing out something that was true!” Kaito insisted, “And don’t say it like that, there was nothing wrong with our relationship being niche anyway!”

Kokichi couldn’t argue that their weren’t people who did see that way--kinks and preferences were real things, after all, but, even without taking to account that this was something derived from Korekiyo’s philosophy, some of it just…didn’t sit right with Kokichi. And regardless, it just didn’t apply to their relationship. 

Coming back from the bathroom, Kokichi gave Kaito a dry look. “And I’ve also seen Shuu-chan top plenty of times, and it’s been a turn on every time.” After that, Kokichi’s expression darkened considerably, practically glowering at Kaito. “And you told me that anyone who can clock someone’s preferences in bed by sight is full of shit.”

Crossing his arms, Kokichi came to stand in front of Kaito. “So…were you lying to me, or is this another case where everyone in the world has to follow certain rules except you?”

Oh shoot, Angry Kokichi.

Kaito blinked down somewhat stupidly at him, more than a little caught off guard. His immediate reaction was to chuckle nervously, scratching the back of his neck a little as he said quickly, “Oh wow did I?”

That was absolutely true, though Kaito didn’t remember this conversation. Anyone who could ‘guess’ preferences just looking at a person was, indeed, just projecting stuff, and Kaito had known that even before Dr. Mariah had chanted ‘mind-reading’ at him for nine months straight. You just genuinely couldn’t guess, and anyone who said otherwise was trying to sell you on something.

Buuuuuut, “Some things are rarer, and it’s, like, a better bet that they will or won’t like something… um… uuuh… besides!” Kaito said, after a moment feeling like he was on better footing as he insisted, “This was still a decent guess, cause I do know you! Uuuuuuh I mean… I mean, it felt like a pretty good bet, that you wouldn’t be into that sorta thing…”

“Even with him literally telling you the exact opposite?” Shuichi asked.

“....okay yeah that doesn’t help my argument much does it.” Kaito said quickly again, leaning back a little from Kokichi. “Sorry babe.”

Sighing softly, Kokichi eased his expression and reached out, gently trailing his fingers down Kaito’s arm before taking his hand and kissing his wrist, letting his hand go after that to not be overly demanding of Kaito’s physical affection. “I’m not mad at you, though I’ll accept the apology. I don’t even really care that you assumed I wouldn’t like seeing you bottoming, even if you were wrong. Now you know, you know?”

“...but it does bother me more hearing you…ascribe yourself and Shuu-chan…certain degrees of masculinity, as if masculinity is even one thing that can be defined, and equate that to sexual preferences.” His expression wasn’t quite angry, but it was stern. A stance that Kokichi wasn’t going to just let go, at least without a discussion. “I’m not arguing that people have made assumptions about you in the past, or that they didn’t like anything that clashed with those assumptions…”

Kokichi frowned a little more. “...but I am saying that’s a really shitty and reductive thing to do to someone. And it’s not the sort of rhetoric that I’m just going to leave unchallenged when I hear it. So…that’s a boundary I’m drawing.”

Kaito relaxed a little when Kokichi did, happily accepting the small comforting touches before letting out a little puff of air, “Look. Obviously there’s all kinds of body types and preferences and all of them are equally valid, but–”

“But the one that very specifically relates to how you see yourself and how you assume others see you is the exception?” Shuichi guessed. 

Kaito let the words trail off at that… before tsking. The back of his jaw clicking a little as he muttered, “Maybe.”

“Perhaps I’m biased, but if it isn’t specifically Chad’s fault, then I’m assuming this is Korekiyo’s fault.” Shuichi decided, going over to sit on the edge of the bed as Miyako happily gurgled at the spinning lights, “So what did he tell you?”

“Nooooothing, he said…” Kaito rolled his eyes a little, “Korekiyo liked to brag to his friends about his ‘niche’ taste. How he liked guys usually even bigger and stronger than me, that I was, like… a ‘concession’ he was making, cause we had so much in common. And his friends would like… make fun of him about it. His, ya know…” Kaito shrugged, crossing his arms, “‘weird’ tastes. It’s weird, I get it.”

“They said you were a ‘weird taste’ in front of you?” Shuichi asked, brow furrowing a little.

“They said a lot of stuff in front of us, it was part of scenes we’d set up, it’s… ugh. This sounds shittier– uh, I mean, ‘cruddier- then it is.”

There was a brief silence. Shuichi just giving him a dry look.

“...ah, darnit, that was as cruddy as it sounds, wasn’t it.” Kaito realized in the silence. A vein starting to throb in his forehead as he muttered, “Darn it.”

Kokichi cringed a little as Kaito corrected his language. Oops. He’d just sworn a bunch in front of his baby, hadn’t he. He might have a more freeform opinion about her learning swear words than his partners, but he did respect their wishes and…ugh. Okay, he really had to try harder to curb his swearing when he was angry. That was probably the worst way she’d hear things too…

But what was a little more disheartening was, yet again, Kaito’s shitty experiences that informed his self-view. 

Sighing, Kokichi relaxed his posture more and joined his partners on the bed. “...yeah, that does sound pretty bogus. I won’t deny that you’re a weird guy, as much as anyone is, but…none of that has to do with your body, you know? It’s just whatever flesh we happen to be inhabiting, and a tool for self-expression. There’s no way for that to be weird.”

“Yeah, I know… they just talked so confidently about it.” Kaito muttered, “Like, yeah, ‘obviously’. It was weird for Korekiyo to find me attractive that way. Otherwise I’m a turnoff in that position… I dunno. It’s not like I hate bottoming because of it. I mean, obviously, I’ve been practically begging Shuichi to top me since we’ve been together. It’s exciting!” Kaito grinned, eyes lighting up a little… before he let the grin fall away, just saying a little uncertainly, “I just, ya know… I’m always aware in the back of my head that it’s a little unattractive, when I do that. Unless you specifically have a thing for that.”

“Well, I do find you attractive, Kaito, but I’d agree with Kokichi in that I’d find you attractive in all sorts of situations, because I like you. You don’t have to ‘perform’ for us. I think I can speak for both of us when I say above all else, you enjoying yourself is one of the more attractive ways for you to be. You don’t have to pretend to be all one thing or all another to not ‘gross us out’.” Shuichi said sternly, though admittedly he found all of this a little exasperating, as he said, “I can’t believe this comes from the guy who didn’t blink at being turned into a table or Kokichi’s infamous ‘murder-kink’.”

“I aaaaaaaaam into most things.” Kaito said simply, “Which, honestly, has always just been another ‘weird’ thing about me. I’ve made my peace with it. If you guys want it a certain way, I can find a way to make it work.”

Idiots did tend to have unearned confidence. Not knowing enough to realize how much you didn’t know, and all that. 

Huffing softly, Kokichi gave Shuuichi an affirming nod at his breakdown. “The only times I don’t find you attractive is when you’re being unkind to others or are hurt or upset or uncomfortable yourself. And I know I don’t really have the biggest sample size, but…I feel like that with Shuu-chan, and I think that’s how I’d feel for any partner. Like Shuu-chan said…it’s not about performing. I just like you.”

Though, at that, a weird sort of wave went through Kokichi’s face before it settled on a confused sort of curiosity. “...maybe I do have a bigger sample size, actually.”

“...I feel like I was meant to follow your thought process on that, but I don’t…” Shuichi frowned, tilting his head, ‘Hm?”

“Oh, oh!” Kaito’s eyes lit up with wonder, entirely on the same page with Kokichi… before covered his chin with his fist, placing his elbow in his other hand as he rested his chin against the hard edge of his knuckles as he said, “Oh. Shoot… I’m so conflicted how to feel about that.” 

“About what?” Shuichi asked.

“Kokichi, uh… I guess discussing with us his own sexual history?” Kaito said, putting both hands together for a moment before stretching them out as wide as his arms could go, “Alllllll throughout his history. Like, on one hand, I am so curious, and that’d be so exciting, I don’t get to hear any fun sexy Shuichi/ Kokichi stories unless I was, like, there too! Well, except for the sauna time, which was,” Kaito sighed contently, “Yeah. That was cool…”

“...but.” Kaito frowned, looking uncertainly at Kokichi, “...I don’t know… if that’s fair. To your older selves. Though fudge I am so curious. Like… like are there patterns!? Do you always find yourself with guys like Shuichi?? Do you have a ‘thing’ for golden eyes and super smart brains?? Are you always gay?? Or, I guess  straight, in some circumstances, like, do you always reject the ladies???”

“I wish you had found any of our high school classes this fascinating.” Shuichi said dryly. “Then I wouldn’t have had such a trial tutoring you.”

“Come on, don’t tell me that’s not fascinating!”

Kokichi nodded, mirroring Kaito’s uncertainty, though his expression remained contemplative. Kokichi, as he knew his own life, had had fleeting crushes here and there before being married, and thus entering relationships with two men he was completely devoted to and couldn’t see ever moving on from. That was a very small, and very unique experience. 

…but in truth, along his entire existence…he’d been in a lot of relationships. Married many times, having dated countless people…

“I mean…it’s me, so whatever I decide, that’s gonna be fair to me,” Kokichi worked out with a small nod, “But…I don’t think that’s fair to my past partners. Even if they’re dead now…there was still vulnerability and intimacy that wasn’t meant to be shared. There’s a certain amount of requisite nosiness that comes through historical accounts and, like, letters and diaries ‘n stuff…but people don’t really think about specifying that all the things they share privately with a partner might come to light because that partner is part of a reincarnation chain.”

Crossing his legs, Kokichi propped up his chin with a hand. “...but I think less private stuff is fair game. Like the kind of stories that would be told by grandkids ‘n stuff.” Looking to the ceiling, Kokichi hummed softly. “...I’m gay. Nellis was gay. Koharu was bi, but she married a guy. King Yuuri was a little shier than you, Shuu-chan, I think, but he did have those smart, chill vibes.”

“Oh, tragic for all the lady suitors for the past thousand years or however long you’ve been doing this.” Kaito grinned, thumping his knuckles together enthusiastically as he asked, “Oh! How often did the poly thing happen!? Or does the love for the pretty boys overwhelm otherwise managomonious instincts? Is this your first time with a Luminary??”

“Kaito, don’t ask him everything at once.” Shuichi cautioned, “That’s a terrible way to interrogate someone. Also, what does it matter?”

“It doesn’t, like I said, I just think it’s neat.” Kaito grinned, “If you had a sexual history, I’d find it fascinating too. I like hearing about my partners fond memories or wild stories. It’s just an interesting side of you guys.”

Kokichi laughed softly and nudged against Shuuichi’s side. “I don’t have to get into it, if you’re not into this convo. It’s just kinda…trivia, I guess. I do have the memories of these things happening, but…especially the further back I think, the more it just…” He sighed, shrugging. “...well, it feels like things that happened a long time ago.”

While okay to leave the conversation be, he did try to answer the questions Kaito had already asked--things were…a little hazy and cluttered, but they were still there. “Um… Well, Randy had a lot of lovers, and… You know how people make jokes like, ‘whatever x has going on’? I think that describes what Grimm was doing with their partners the best. But that far back, and before…”

Kokichi shrugged a little. “The continent was set up different, so…I don’t think some of those people would identify as being Luminary, but some of them were from that part of the continent, yeah.”

Kaito snickered, “Oh, of course Randy couldn’t keep it in his pants… her? Them? Still. Heh heh heh… Randy.”

After a moment, Kaito groaned. Leaning back more onto the desk and running one of his hands through his hair as he muttered, “Oh, what a tease. Sooooo close to getting sweet, juicy ‘Kichi past relationship stories… but it’s…” Kaito huffed, running his hand over his face, “weird. Cause, like, I don’t want to be disrespectful to all his other, like… Shuichi’s.”

“Oh, that is a very strange way of wording it.” Shuichi mused.

“Well, if he had other Kaito’s, they’re not gonna care. But past Shuichi’s? They’re not gonna want him kissing and telling.” Kaito pouted. “And I don’t wanna disrespect that. Damn. Darn. Sorry Miya.”

Kaito shook his head in disappointment… before grinning at both of his lovers, “So, are you guys gonna bang me today, ooooor?”

“No.” Shuichi said dryly, “Someone has to watch Miyako, Kaito.”

“This is a great time to test out the godparents. I’m just saying.”

-

As…out of touch, maybe, as he could be, Doppio knew he wasn’t…all there. But it was okay! The Boss was really understanding and accommodating and…well, considering the kind of work they did, he really doubted Boss would care all that much about enforcing fair hiring policies, so the fact that he did hire someone with so many issues spoke volumes of the man’s character. 

And, like…it wasn’t like Doppio…went away constantly. He might really consider going to a doctor if that happened. It was just every once in a while! 

…like now. 

As he laid passed out in the little alleyway next to the cute shop with the open kitchen on the second floor that he sometimes used when he needed to cook something that took a little more than the supplies they had at home. A very familiar place that Doppio would no doubt recognize once he woke up! Which was always the scariest part about waking up (other than…sometimes the stuff he woke up with), so being able to recognize exactly where he was would be a great day, really. 

Just…as soon as he woke up.

Kaito knew it was ridiculous, but he kept finding himself, like… stupidly shy during these cooking classes.

It was his first lesson since Miyako had been born, and honestly, Kaito had mostly come back for the actual… well, lessons. The cooking class itself was super useful! They were learning how to make buttermilk bread with taro custard today! His partners were going to lose their minds over it. He had even added little black seeds on the top, because he thought it made the bread look a little fancier. It was top-tier stuff! 

And, like basically every cooking class he had gone to so far, Kaito had taken the farthest back table and done his cooking mostly silent, listening to everyone else chat between each other about their own attempts. 

He didn’t know why! It wasn’t because it was a ‘learning’ environment, Kaito had socialized just fine back in highschool and college, often to his professors’ annoyance. It had felt natural and easy, and more importantly, Kaito honestly hadn’t been able to resist. Getting bored and restless and a little lonely when he was talking to someone or passing notes or just feeling surrounded by people he wanted to spend time with. He hadn’t chosen to be sociable in Luminary: it had been a need.

But now his biggest fear wasn’t being lonely. It was being rejected. And holy fuck apparently he was a coward, cause wow he was struggling to just get a grip and try to make friends anyway. 

…if no one liked him, where was he going to go learn cooking instead…

Oh well. He’d try again next time, as the instructor thanked everyone for coming again and congratulated them on their successful (to various degrees) pastries. Wrapping his freshly baked and filled bread in a to-go package as Kaito headed down the stairs with everyone else, listening to people chat about the next thing they were going to do with their days. 

Well… the next thing he was gonna do with his day was bring home awesome pastries to his partners. Then… oh, maybe he could tell Chako how it went? She might like to hear about it, if she wasn’t busy in the kitchen. There, see, Kaito could socialize! And either way, he’d do better next lesson, he’d drink some coffee and make himself too restless to do anything but socialize, it’d be fi– “???”

Kaito almost missed him entirely. Just glancing to his left, his eyes just by chance seeing a pair of legs sticking out behind a waste receptacle. He didn’t recognize the legs, but he did recognize a situation someone probably hadn’t planned out ahead of time. It was too early for drunk stragglers to be leaving bars…

Kaito went to check it out, half expecting to see some poor bastard who had gotten the shit kicked out of him and left behind. It wouldn’t be the first time Kaito had come across that. And while he approached with the vague idea of wanting to help, he hadn’t actually started to worry until– “Oh, shit, kid!”

Placing the to-go package on top of the receptacle, Kaito quickly knelt down next to Doppio, looking over him warily, looking for signs of injury as he whispered, “Oh, fuck… Doppio, man, can you hear me? Hey, it’s alright, I’m not gonna hurt you… Doppio?” 

In all, Doppio actually looked better off than he had the night that Kaito and Waku dropped him off. The rash on his arms was gone, and while the bruise on his hip was still a little yellow, the one on his face was gone and…other than being unconscious in an alley? He looked fine. 

And, after a moment, his eyebrows twitched and his eyes fluttered, blinking once, twice, before squinting. 

Uuuuuugh, whyyyyy did he feel like traaaaaash…? Every time he always woke up with cottonmouth and Doppio wasn’t sure if it was psychosomatic or what, but he always felt filthy waking up somewhere new. But, as he had told Waku, there was nothing to do but just pull yourself up and find your way home. 

A little stiff and wobbly, Doppio pulled himself up a bit from the ground with a groan, before he finally realized there was a person in front of him. And after a few more blinks, his eyes went wide. “O-oh! Oh, I’m sorry! This…is probably really startling, isn’t it? Um…”

Tall imposing redhead, but imposing in the way of making an imposition, rather than being intimidating (though he kind of could be) and his name waaaaaaaas…

“...your…highness?”

“Shit, god damn, fuck, dude.” Kaito huffed, shaking his head as he reached around to place a hand on the back of Doppio’s neck, saying sternly, “Don’t sit up by yourself yet, let me check on you. Dammit, gonna give a guy an aneurysm, I swear to fuck… here, let me check your head. If you move around on me before I say you’re good, I’m gonna suplex you into the damn floor, I swear.”

As he said that, Kaito carefully, keeping his grip wide and steady, pulled Doppio up a bit, using his other hand to carefully pat down around his hair, looking for wounds in his skull. When nothing was there, Kaito reached around to pat Doppio’s back, feeling for wet marks or things that shouldn’t be poking out of place in his back, and as he did so said, “Any pain? Or, any spot on your spine you didn’t feel me pat? Cause I patted all the way up and down it, so you gotta tell me about any spots where it seemed like I ‘skipped’. The hell are you doing passed out in an alley, man, you scared the shit out of me.”

Doppio scowled a bit as the prince told him to stay down, poking and prodding at him…but he did comply. Yeah, the guy was royalty, and he probably absolutely could suplex him, but…Priiiiiiince…Ouma but not Ouma had helped him out before. Had gone out of his way to make sure Doppio was safe, expecting nothing. 

And, well…he was still feeling a little lightheaded so…maybe getting up slower would help. 

Still, Doppio couldn’t help pouting up at the prince at his question. “You think I know what the hell I’m doing passed out in an alley? This isn’t exactly a primo hang out spot. A-and why are you getting your panties in such a twist, didn’t you say you woke up in weird places all the time too? …and I’m fine, nothing hurts and I felt everything, thank you.”

It was rarely helpful to try and remember what he was doing before any particular blackout, so Doppio didn’t wonder too much about it…but what was he doing today? Shit, if he’d promised to meet up with The Boss for something…

Making moves to sit up again, Doppio froze just after his muscles tensed, his eyes flicking up to Prince K…his name did start with a K, right, that wasn’t just his husband? Deciding to obey for now, Doppio huffed. “...could you get my notebook out of my bag, please?”

“Yeah, I wake up in random places like ‘someone’s bed’ or ‘backrooms in clubs’ and, well, a weird amount of rooftops and balconies, I’ll admit.” Kaito huffed– apparently drunk Kaito loved the cool air– as he let go of Doppio’s neck, the biggest injury worries apparently not an issue here. “Places where it looks like, oh, someone had a good time last night, and yay, looks like that someone was me! Back allies behind trash bins is where you wake up when you had a bad time, kid. It’s not ideal. And I’ll worry all I damn want.”

Kaito was being more than a little aggressive, mostly because that really had worried him. And more importantly, this wasn’t his tiny sick partner or his much adored panic attack stricken one, so Kaito didn’t feel a pressing need to be as delicate and gentle as possible. This was usually how he reacted when he found Maki in less than stellar shape after a mission. Just kinda pissed off and worried.

But, beyond looking a little spaced out, Doppio seemed alright. Sighing a bit, Kaito looked around for the bag in question, spotting it just shy of Doppio on the other side of him. Reaching across to grab it, Kaito reached inside to pat around blindly, grabbing what felt like a notebook and pulling it out, “Here. Seriously, man, what do you mean should you know what happened? You’re not drunk, so unless you’ve been here since last night, then yeah you should know. Did someone jump you?”

“Well…maybe you’ve just gotten lucky with the places you’ve woken up in,” Doppio grumbled, knowing full well that wasn’t really an attack or a defense and more just a true statement that made Kaito’s point even stronger. Whatever. 

Thanking Kaito quietly for his notebook, Doppio flipped to the last written page and stared intently. Okay…he did a mail drop off this morning, he did remember that. Got a few supplemental groceries, dropped them back off at home so he wasn’t carrying around food all day. And…

Doppio squinted. 

…yeah, there was no way he was making that out. Damn his occasional chicken scratch. But nothing looked like he had a meeting so…he wasn’t missing anything. Good! Good. 

Looking back up at Kaito, Doppio gave him a half-shrug. “I don’t know what to tell you, your highness. I think I might have, like, narcolepsy or something, so I end up places like this a lot. Well, not a lot a lot, but…enough that it’s not surprising. And I think I’d be in far worse shape if someone did jump me--I don’t make a habit of carrying much cash on me, and if someone’s gonna be dumb enough to try and rob me, they wouldn’t waste that investment for, like, a gold.”

“...can I get up now?”

“Yeah, yeah, hold on, let me help you up.” Kaito huffed, standing up and offering Doppio a hand. He watched like a hawk to see if the kid was gonna get woozy on his feet, looking for shaky legs or an uneven tilt, getting ready to catch him as he said, “Also, what, you pissed at me? Everyone only uses my honorifics if they’re pissed at me. I lose ‘Kaito’ privileges or what?”

Unfortunately for his pride, Doppio was a little woozy as he stood up, his face a little pale as he couldn’t help pressing a hand to his forehead. As usual after these episodes, a headache came knock, knock, knockin’ on his brain…great. They came and went as they pleased throughout any given day, but just because he was used to them didn’t mean Doppio was a fan. 

Especially in front of someone who was already getting far too worried about him. 

In another unfortunate event, Doppio had no time to even think about trying to play it off cool because he immediately lit up, holding the hand not on his head up in a fist of victory. “I knew it started with a K!” 

…

Blinking, Doppio immediately cringed, making an embarrassed look at Kaito. “...not mad at you. Sorry.”

Kaito startled at that, his body literally jolting… before he laughed. Giving Doppio a sort of bemused grin, as he said, “Shit, Doppio, did you forget my name? Man, if I hadn’t already checked I’d swear you hit your head again. Geez…”

Chuckling again, Kaito noted how unsteady Doppio seemed on his feet. Hmmm… chewing on his inner lip a little, Kaito reasoned it out to himself for a moment, before telling the kid honestly, “Alright, man, you’re getting two choices: I can take you to see a healer I know to make certain you’re good and it’s really just, like, narcolepsy or whatever. Or you’re going to let me take you somewhere to sit down and put some damn food into you and we’re gonna wait to see if you pass out again.”

Pausing, Kaito conceded, “You also have a third choice, which is to try to escape me. That’s certainly a choice too. ‘Try’ being the keyword there. I am not letting you out of my sight till I know you’re good. Try me~” Kaito grinned wide, all teeth, “I enjoy the chase.”

Doppio made a small despairing sound. He was bad with names, alright!? And…a lot of other stuff too that required precise remembering, but names were hard. He could usually…sort of…remember who a person was, but what to call them? Gone immediately. Horrible when you were in a business that included a lot of people with weird habits and quick tempers. 

“...I could probably escape you,” Doppio huffed with a sullen look…but in truth, he didn’t really want to. His head hurt, and people tended to give him weird looks when he ran through the city. And if there was any strength Doppio prided himself on maintaining, it was being inconspicuous. 

So that left…

(do not see a doctor you cannot)

Sighing, Doppio finally brought his hand down from his head after running it through his bangs, getting them more in order. “...we can sit down. But please be prompt about deciding if you think I’m good to go? My-” For a moment, Doppio seemed to short-circuit, his mind going blank. 

Couldn’t say Boss. Parent was far too embarrassing, and would make Kaito think even more that he was a kid, and was just not true Doppio why would you even consider that.

“-roommate got pissed last time ‘cause I came back way later than I said I would.”

“Uh huh. Well, I’ll do my best not to keep you up past bedtime this time. Somehow I think it’ll be okay,” Kaito said pointedly, the early afternoon sun beaming down brightly on them as he jerked his head in a ‘come on’ motion. Grabbing his pastries as he said, “Leeeet’s go, hup hup!”

-

Kaito used one of the diners he took Tim to and occasionally did a therapy appointment in. It was a calm place with omelets that, if Kaito asked they kindly take off at least half of the seasonings they wanted to bury the eggs in, had pretty good eggs! Kaito had, in fact, been trying to sell Doppio on trying the eggs, making idle chat and– mostly Kaito– talking about the food choices there, until finally their order was taken and it was just the two of them sitting at the booth together, sipping on water and other drinks– coffee for Kaito– as they waited for the food to arrive.

“Alright, so… this happens a lot then?” Kaito asked, sipping at his coffee, his pastries package sat beside him, “You just… wake up places?”

Doppio liked eggs well enough--more than that, really, since they were cheap, insanely easy to cook, super versatile, and usually easy to get down so that meant a breakfast of minimal finagling on the tougher days--but…what? No, Kaito, why would you just want plain eggs? He could cook that at home any day, why not get something fancier? So Doppio did order an omelet, but also some toast and jam to give him something a little extra in his stomach and wasn’t totally taking advantage of the prince’s pockets and weird inclination to feed him. 

But given that this was a sit-down diner, and their food hadn’t even shown up…that usually meant conversation was happening. 

“Yeah,” Doppio nodded, not bringing any sort of fanfare to it. “I’ll just be going on with my day then, oop! Somehow I’m already home, or on the other side of town, or, yeah, waking up in an alley.”

Sighing, he tried to smooth more of his hair back into his braid. “As gross as I always feel, alleys aren’t really that bad. It’s way more embarrassing waking up in a public place or, like, in a crowd or something. I’ve never woken up, like, on the verge of a life-threatening situation, so that’s not really on the ranking list.”

“Hmmm… in a crowd?” Kaito asked, resting his cheek on his fist as he leaned against the table, giving Doppio a concerned look, “Like… at the feet of a crowd? Or literally in a crowd?”

“Uh…” Doppio glanced around the diner, clasping his hands around his water glass. It was a nice place. Lively, enough chatter that you could have a conversation, even an energetic one, and mostly be unnoticed. Staff could be a problem, but they always had to be vetted in every place…

“...in one?” he answered, it sounding just as much like a question as what Kaito had asked. “Like…once actually where I was on the ground, and lemme tell you--worst way I’ve ever woken up. Seeing a crowd of faces peering down at you like that is the stuff of nightmares.”

“...a couple times where I’ve been on my feet when I’ve…’come back’, though,” he murmured. And…he wasn’t really sure why he was telling Kaito this. Going into detail at all, or…well, he couldn’t really call this time a fluke, since he’d already acted casual, but there were probably ways around that…

He wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like Doppio was starved for human interaction, since The Boss was more than affectionate and Doppio didn’t need anyone else…and didn’t like anyone as much as The Boss anyway. But there was something about how Prince Kaito just…bullied himself into a place to look after others that, apparently, loosened Doppio’s lips and made him more willing to talk. 

…plus, like…who else was he ever gonna talk about this stuff with? Boss knew already, and he’d always calmed Doppio down from the worst of his confusion and worry (and panic) so there was never a need to talk about it. Not that he needed to talk about something so unimportant…

Chewing his lip and looking off to the side as Doppio questioned himself, he did make quite the picture of a lost, unsure teen. 

“When you ‘come back’...” Kaito nodded, like that wasn’t an incredibly bizarre thing to hear, tapping slightly at the table top as he repeated, “When you come back… okay. Alright… that sounds… scary as hell.” 

Giving Doppio a concerned look, Kaito leaned in a little, resting on both of his arms now as he kept his voice low, “That happens all the time? Is there anything that triggers it? Like… my husband gets these terrible migraines. Truly terrible. He can barely function on them, and I have no doubt if I asked him he wouldn’t be able to tell me if he always remembered everything during the worst part of it. Debilitating, you know? Those sort of brain hiccups can be really overwhelming, it’s a daunting thing to try to deal with on your own. When we’re together, is there any way I can help, like helping avoid bright lights or… anything like that?”

“Not all the time,” Doppio quickly amended. “Just…sometimes. Like, I can keep a job, you know? And no matter how understanding my Boss is, there’d still be a line if I was, like, blacking out every day or something.”

He frowned a bit at the comparison Kaito drew. Sure, he’d heard rumors about the heir apparent’s health issues, but…Doppio always thought it was immune system shit, at least if there was any truth to how severe people made it seem. Not…

…headaches that came out of nowhere and turned into migraines to the point you didn’t remember chunks of your day. 

(...did stuff like that really happen to other people? Boss did say it was nothing, like, uniquely concerning, but…the prince too?)

Pulling himself together a little, Doppio shrugged and sipped from his water. “I haven’t noticed anything consistent that causes it. It just…happens sometimes. So I just gotta dust myself off and move on, like I said before.”

“Look, Kaito, I know what it sounds like, but it’s really not that scary.” It…it was a little scary, sometimes. But not a kind of scary Doppio couldn’t handle, so his new friend didn’t need to know that. “I appreciate the concern, but it’s not something you should stress out about.”

“Awwww~” Kaito grinned, leaning back as he saw their waiter head their way with food, “It’s so obvious you don’t know me at all~”

Giving the waiter a cheerful thank you, Kaito started to dig into his lightly seasoned omelet– mmmmm, heck yeah– and saying mostly in between bites, “Look, we’re gonna agree to agree that you get to be wrong about what’s worth worrying about or not. You’re allowed, you’re welcome. Let no one say I’m not a very generous prince-consort. But you are wrong, because I think finding you passed out near some trash is a very good reason to worry.”

“And before you start arguing with me about this, let’s move onto the actual meat of the argument, which is this: have you gotten this checked out, kid? Like, maybe it’s not something you have to live with. It could be something medication could clear up, if you let someone figure out what it is.” Taking another long sip of his coffee, Kaito continued sternly, “I have a great healer on retainer. Seriously, she’s incredible, the best of the best. So long as we don’t catch her in an emergency? You could meet her today if you wanted to, man, she could give you a look over, run some tests. And I can vouch for your safety with her too… mostly because I’ll be sitting right damn next to you, because Seiko’s not always the best at risk assessment.” 

Shaking his head a little, Kaito decided to veer to reassuring, squaring his shoulders and grinning wide, giving Doppio a small wink as he said confidently, “But you’ll have me there, and I’ll watch out for you, alright? Come on, what’s the point of being friends with an actual prince if you can’t take advantage of his resources? This shit’s my jam. What do you think?”

Similarly thanking the server for their food, Doppio dug into his very doctored omelet with a roll of his eyes. While it had also apparently inspired Doppio to bear his heart to the prince, Kaito’s nature meant Doppio just couldn’t shake him off his trail. A true mother hen if he’d ever seen one. 

But the difference between being a mother hen and a martyr-based narcissist was…Kaito’s care didn’t just end with what he could do. And suggesting to go see a healer again…

Doppio couldn’t help the way his shoulders tensed, or the way his headache flared. 

…no healers. 

“I have,” Doppio sighed, just…choosing not to believe that was a lie. He might’ve gotten checked out. There was simply a lot about his life he didn’t remember, so it was entirely possible, and further, incredibly plausible that someone over the course of his life had taken him to a healer for his blackouts. Even if he’d really never had parents, there was no way whatever orphanage he’d been in wouldn’t have done something, so, really, he wasn’t lying at all. 

“And you said this was the option to not go bother a healer,” Doppio accused, spreading strawberry jam all over a piece of toast. “I’m eating, I’m sitting, aren’t I? So we don’t need to drop by your personal doctor just to have her tell me something I’ve heard a million times. And I don’t have the time to get a bunch of tests done anyway--I’m still on the clock, even if there’s nothing time-pressing for this instant, right now.”

“This was the option to give me more time to convince you to see a healer, definitely, absolutely.” Kaito conceded, slowing down on his food, afraid that if he finished it too soon Doppio might take that as an excuse to run off. Though, if the kid had already seen people a ‘million’ times about it? Damn…

“You make your boss sound like a really good guy, I highly doubt he’d want you to pass up a chance to get help for something that disrupts you so much… but. ‘Chance’ is the wrong word anyway. This is just something you have access to now, Doppio, it’s not like if later you change your mind I’m gonna say your damn time limit ran its course. Now you just gotta live with the looming option of, like, a really good doctor visit. Best of the best! She works miracles!”

“But alright, alright… ugh, I really don’t like leaving you to it, but having access to a healer is kind of honestly the only resource I can offer you right now, kid.” Kaito confessed, shrugging a little as he ate some more, keeping his bites slow and savoring, rather than his usual inhaling of food, “I could try to ask the town guards to look out for ya, but I don’t think they’d ignore you if they saw you pass out anyway. Ugh, I hate not having a better idea, but… well! You do keep saying you manage alright despite everything. And it looks like at least when you pass out you don’t, like, do a full body slam into the ground. You’d have been more injured in that alley if you did.”

“Some people can pull that off, it’s a super interesting talent.” Kaito mused, “They do this, like, ‘folding’ pass out, managing to catch themselves limb by limb until they’re laid out. I’d see it with people who got blackout drunk, ya know? And a few people out of physical exhaustion. It’s a little strange and alarming looking, but it’s honestly ideal if you’re the type, to fall like that. Me? I just crumble backwards, it’s worthless.” Kaito laughed, giving Doppio an amused grin as he bragged, “That’s why my head’s so hard! I’ve busted it open a few times now, falling like an idiot! So you’ve got me beat there, Doppio. I bet you’re graceful as hell in a lot of things, if you fall that well! How’s your balance?”

Doppio…twitched slightly, an odd cross of absolute rage and utter adoration twisting his face into a strange expression. “Boss is incredible, a-and he’d never tolerate me mistreating myself! That would include just…just settling with my issues, if there was a way to surpass them. S-so, so no! He’d want me to take full advantage of any opportunities I get! But there’s no helping this, a-and he knows that too, so…”

In a huff, Doppio settled for furiously cutting into his omelet, the soft, fluffy eggs not standing a chance against him. But as Kaito did move on from the subject, at least partially, his mania died down enough that he just looked at the prince curiously. 

“Oh…yeah, I guess I’ve seen that too, but I never really noticed that it was…an alternative? To just falling. I…guess I just assumed they were still holding on enough to manage it…”

Giving Kaito a look, Doppio considered his answer before, with full knowledge and no copium this time, lying, “...good. Great. My balance is great.”

…he’d never once been called graceful in his life. Bumbling, clumsy, a bull in a china shop… Even The Boss, who tended to play up attributes that Doppio really only had confidence in when Boss pointed them out had never commented on his grace. Probably because he didn’t see a point in lying to him. 

Kaito didn’t comment on Doppio’s… ‘fit’. About his boss. He just watched him as Doppio talked, getting more and more riled up and defensive. Kaito kept his expression neutral as he ate his eggs. Just observing.

Hm.

Still, he brightened up right on cue, giving Doppio a thumbs up as he agreed, “Heck yeah! I have an instinct for these things, man, I can tell who’s got the reflexes of a cat inside them. You strike me as someone who’d, like, walk balance beams for fun and wonder why everyone else was struggling so much! Total grace vibes!”

Chuckling a little, Kaito poked at his omelet some more. He should have ordered more food, eating slowly was hard. It was so much easier just to shove everything down his throat, he could have been done with this in minutes…

“...it’s good to have people you admire. I think so, anyway. It can be reassuring, and inspiring. To have someone that feels like some sort of personal goal to aspire to.” Kaito mused, poking at his eggs, before looking up at Doppio. Golden eyes… like his little Miya…

“You know, I personally? Have had a really tough time in the past not making the people I admire my, like… whole life. You know? Making them my end all, be all situation. I wouldn’t know if that’s something you can relate to, just talking about good bosses made me think of it… I had this one boss once. And man…” Kaito closed his eyes, sighing a little, “He really made me feel like I lived for him. Like everything else came second. And that was okay, because I knew he loved me… but it still became this real, like, burden on my life. Living for him. I felt like every decision I made needed his pre-approval, either explicitly given or my best guess as to what he’d want. It got to the point where he was basically micro-managing my life, and he didn’t even really want to. I just found myself that desperate for his approval, that I couldn’t bring myself to risk even the possibility of his disappointment. It was really bad, for both of us…”

“...I dunno.” Kaito shrugged, going back to his food, “Sometimes I miss having that sort of guiding force in my life, even though really I’m a lot happier now being able to make my own decisions. Do you think you’d have stayed with him? If you were me, I mean?”

Given his desire not to see a healer, it would probably be wise for Doppio to stay at least 10 feet away from any balance beam. …maybe 15. He was not about to take a forced vacation because he broke his leg. 

The subject Kaito jumped to, though, had Doppio squinting at him, not really sure what on earth the prince was talking about. Well, okay, after he talked a little more, he could guess at the sort of comparison Kaito was trying to make, he wasn’t an idiot, but…

…a goal to aspire to? What a laugh. As if anyone, let alone Aceto Doppio could even come close to The Boss. 

And as Kaito kept talking, Doppio just gave him a dry look. “No, because your old boss isn’t my Boss, but also…it just kind of sounds like you were a shit employee. A boss is a leading direction, and they should make the final decisions for, like, big stuff, but…a boss that constantly has to tell you what to do, to the point of not only micro-managing your job, but your life too?”

“You should’ve been fired,” Doppio said bluntly. “At that point your boss was just paying someone else for work they did anyway. Even if you adored them, if you actually had any respect for them, you would’ve left. Which…you did, so, like, good on you, I guess.”

He narrowed his eyes at Kaito. “...really hope your work ethic is better now.”

“...” Kaito poked at his eggs a little, just absorbing that for a moment… before he grinned a little weakly, “Well, yeah…  yeah. Yeah…”

To say he had ‘left’ Byakuya wasn’t entirely true, but, well, it wasn’t entirely false either. He had picked Maki over his brother, eventually. And he had been a bad brother. So… yeah.

“Hah!” Kaito shoved that shit right deep down and suddenly chuckled, giving Doppio an amused look as he admitted, “Not really? I suck at keeping a job. I quit my last job, which was answering letters for people, and kinda got fired?? From a dishwashing job I was volunteering for at the time. So, when it comes to work ethic? I am maaaaaybe not The Guy, ya know?” Kaito grinned, shrugging a little as he said enthusiastically, “But that’s alright, because I surround myself by people who are The Guys! Everyone I know and surround myself with are exceptionally talented and skilled at what they do, and honestly, that’s an incredibly useful way to get through life! You collect enough sidekicks, look out for them and protect them? Their strengths make up for any shortcomings you might have, and even better, they can make up for each other’s shortcomings too! Every individual sidekick making the overall team stronger!”

Pointing his fork at Doppio, Kaito said, “And I think someone like you could find something like that useful, even if you are an excellent employee by yourself! I think you’d benefit from being one of my sidekicks… yep. Yep.” Kaito nodded, putting down his fork and crossing his arms, closing his eyes as he seemed to deeply consider it… before nodding with increased vigor, before beaming at Doppio, “It’s decided. You’re going to be one of my sidekicks now! Think of it having a part time side job. My resources are now your resources! I’m gonna look out for you!”

Had Kokichi been in front of Kaito right then, well…it might’ve been time for another emergency session with Dr. Mariah, right after Kokichi finished dressing Doppio down for being needlessly rude. Had Diavolo been in front of Kaito right then…

Well, the man might not be an Empath, but all-around psychics did have quite a few more options than the average person when it came to someone showing their weak points. And, in a way, he could technically be in front of Kaito right then. 

But…he wasn’t, and it was just Doppio, and despite all the things a Tulpa had the potential to do…Doppio hadn’t been made to be a psychic in his own right. So he simply gave Kaito a deeply unimpressed look. For someone whose job was their entire life, hearing about someone who fumbled several didn’t paint the prince in the most flattering light. 

“...it sounds more like you’re a groupie, than people rallying around you,” Doppio pointed out, not jumping for joy being called a sidekick. “And my job already is full-time, and I’m not hurting for cash enough to take on another job.”

…and there were probably some laws around how many hours in a week he could work, especially considering his age (though…he was an adult…right?), but since when did Doppio care about the law, huh?! Only while filing his taxes so there was no need to investigate him or The Boss further. 

“And…you already do look out for me, if buying me meals every time you find me on the ground is that. Which…” With a small sigh, Doppio’s tone softened. “Which I do appreciate, by the way. I get that I kinda sound like a brat right now, but…you’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I do appreciate that. But I do think you’re getting a little over-zealous.”

“Hah! Groupie’s a new one. I’ll admit, that’s the first time someone’s thrown that one at me. ‘Groupie’, man… well, maybe if enough of my sidekicks play instruments I can make that accurate~ That could be a fun way to bond. Getting you all in a band!” Kaito half-rambled, scrambling to not let that hurt his feelings too overtly. 

Kaito supposed he could yell at Doppio if the guy kept this up, but in truth Kaito was a little worried about permanently scaring him off. Maybe if Kaito wasn’t so damn worried about him he’d let himself get more obviously hurt and angry about it, but Doppio needed him to be better than that. He might not see anything wrong with passing out randomly and getting manically fixated on both his work and a single all-imposing figure, but Kaito knew how bad a situation like that could get, self-esteem wise and life-choices wise. Doppio made it sound like his boss would never take advantage of that level of devotion, but that same devotion would probably convince Doppio it was okay if he did.

Kaito wasn’t going to abandon the guy over a few hurt feelings. Even if he’d quite like to curl up somewhere and wait for his stomach to stop twisting up in knots over it. Doppio needed him! Keep it together!

“Ah, it’s alright, I can handle my brats~” Kaito grinned, unfortunately having no choice but to finally finish his eggs, though thankfully he still had coffee and water to sip at. “All the people closest to me are all kinda brats in their own ways, which is fine, because so am I in my own way. Stubborn, smug, maybe tease a little too much… we all do it~ If anything, that just reinforces what a good addition to my team you’re gonna make!”

And, giving Doppio a slightly dry look, Kaito grinned thinly, “Be honest with me, man. Is anything less than me being an overbearing, over enthusiastic, aggressive weirdo about this going to actually get me anywhere with you? Cause convincing you to let me just walk you home took several hours of arm-twisting last time. You accept help like its cyanide, kid. I don’t think I can just convince you it’s sugar pills, so that just means I’ve got no choice but to shove it down your throat.”

“Mm. And you said you had kids, right? I don’t know enough about babies to say either way, but, for most people, brat years are coming eventually.” Doppio supposed he didn’t really have anything against kids, but he didn’t think much of them either. They weren’t exactly prospective clientele, or would-be business partners, and while you did have to be careful ‘cause they’d snitch without knowing what they were doing…

He didn’t know. It did make him happy whenever he passed by playgrounds and he could hear kids having fun. 

At Kaito’s point, though, Doppio’s face twisted into a stubborn, begrudging pout. “...okay, you might have a point. I don’t mind some help, I know I can’t do everything…but I don’t like inconveniencing people. And I like my privacy.”

…or, The Boss’s privacy, since there was very little in Doppio’s life that he really considered private, but protecting The Boss’s privacy was tantamount!

Though, thinking about that…

With a blink, Doppio perked, gesturing the last of his toast at Kaito excitedly. “Oh! Oh! I told my Boss about that thing you said to me, and he seemed real impressed. He’s super smart and wise ‘n stuff, so…that’s really cool!”

Kaito nodded in agreement over his cup, “Privacy’s fine, it’s not like I’m trying to suddenly micromanage you. I’m not that kind of leader, hell, I wouldn’t call myself a leader at all, really. But I am a hero!” Don’t think about it don’t think about it you’re on a roll just keep talking, “And heroes come to the rescue when people need them, and that goes triply true for their sidekicks! If you find yourself in trouble, or need support? I’m the guy who’s gonna be there for you, no matter what. And if I can’t do something, I know someone who can! That’s the point of the team!”

Admittedly, Kaito had tensed, for a moment, when Doppio started talking about his kids– that was something he wasn’t sure he could not react to, if Doppio was about to take a potshot at his children– but, well, suggesting they’d go through a brat phase was alright. Tim was heading to his teens, Miya was gonna be two someday. Being a brat was part of the growing up process, that wasn’t inaccurate.

But the last bit honestly just confused Kaito. The prince peering at Doppio over his cup, as he said, “Well, of course he’d approve of it! …approve of what? What’d I say?”

“The impossible is possible!” Doppio chirped back, still looking a little starry-eyed…even if Kaito calling himself a hero kinda…dampened things a bit. But even a broken clock was right twice a day and…heh. The impossible was possible. Genuine wisdom could be found even in unlikely places and…well, Kaito was a good guy, all things said. Even if he was a terrible employee. 

“He said that if I found wisdom in it then I should ruminate more…which is really glowing praise from him.” Doppio nodded emphatically, as if trying to convince Kaito of the fact. “So…nice one! And…thanks for sharing it with me. It’s, like…a whole worldview thing that’s really interesting.”

After a moment, a few laughs bubbled up from Doppio’s chest as he looked to the side, his shoulders falling. “...if I’m honest, things kinda sucked once I got home. My…roommate was pissed off and worried, the rash I had spread, like, all down my arms and itched for days, and I got a really bad bruise from when I got knocked over, and some surprise stuff came in so I was working all night and I was exhausted by the time I finally got to sleep.”

“...but hanging out with you guys was a lot of fun, and I don’t regret it. And having that, and the things you said…it made things better, when they sucked. So…thanks.”

“Oh, yeah! Yeah, I love that line. I’ve had a lot of people trying to argue the logistics of it, sort of, like, dismantle it to show me the flaws? But those people don’t understand the point. They get caught up in the literalness of it and kind of ruin what it’s actually meant to convey.” Kaito grinned, shaking his head a little as he laughed lightly, “People make things so hard on themselves… It's never wasted effort to believe and to try. If you don’t have both of those attitudes, then everything you want accomplished is already sabotaged. No one got anything done saying ‘I can’t’.”

Admittedly, harder advice to live by than it was to say, but that didn’t mean Kaito believed in it any less, even if he struggled with it sometimes. Sometimes the philosophies that meant most to a person were the ones that felt hardest to achieve. A lifestyle you were constantly chasing, and even if you never caught it, the improvements you made in the pursuit were undeniable.

For Kaito, who had felt like such a failure for so much of his life, ‘The Impossible is Possible, you just have to Make It So’ was an invaluable mantra. Specifically because everything had felt, just… kinda impossible. He wouldn’t have needed that philosophy if everything had felt easy and attainable.

And as much of a trial as this late lunch had been, Kaito lit up to hear that Doppio’s night out with them was now a fond memory for the kid. “Yeah? Awesome! Good, I’m glad. You know we really want to hang out with you again, right? Because you’re awesome too! And, hell, us being aware that sometimes your brain fizzles out on you? Well, that just means we can watch out for you and make sure you get home alright, and you can relax and actually have a good time, cause everything’s going to be just fine! Because you can rely on us!”

“And speaking of being able to rely on me… how are you feeling now? You were woozy for a minute there, has the food and water helped?”

Doppio nodded eagerly, Kaito just expanding on some of the ideas Doppio had thought about himself while ruminating on the creed. He supposed there were a few exceptions, but if someone told themselves that they couldn’t do something, then they’d never be able to do it. There wasn’t some grand order of Things That Are Achievable that would swoop down and make them do it if they believed otherwise. So believing that something was possible was the bare minimum to doing it, and, well, if you’d already done step one, then why not fuck around and find out?

Another phrase he’d come to think about, incidentally. 

He didn’t have a great record for it, and it certainly wouldn’t be today, but if Doppio kept believing it, maybe he’d go through a day without incident. One day. 

Laughing softly, Doppio gave Kaito a nod. “You might’ve mentioned once or twice that you wanted to hang out again, yeah. I don’t think I’d be able to do something that spontaneous again but…yeah. It’d be fun to do something together again.”

“...and I am feeling a lot better,” he continued more quietly, looking a bit sheepish. “I…do tend to get headaches after I black out, so I just power through them, but…this has helped a lot. Thank you, Kaito. Maybe one of these days I’ll actually pay for my own meal around you.”

“Nah, keep taking all my gold, it’s not like I have two small children who are going to end up starving for every meal you take from their sweet little mouths.” Kaito sighed deeply, “Maybe I could sell another kidney…”

And smirking a little, Kaito gave Doppio a wink.

-

Kokichi and Shuichi weren’t home yet, which was both odd and somewhat of a relief.

It was Hajime who had agreed to watch Miyako while Kaito went to a cooking class on his shift, Kokichi working and Shuichi still recovering from feedings and diaper changings in the night. Shuichi was likely reading something in his study, and it looked like something was keeping Kokichi a little long after lunch, as Kaito had been half expecting Kokichi to relieve Hajime before Kaito got back from his extended trip out.

He apologized for Hajime being there later then Kaito had expected, but Hajime hadn’t minded–they had gotten permission from the castle staff leaders to let Hajime watch Miyako during part of his shift, so he was actually getting paid for the time– and after some small talk Hajime had headed out to go finish the rest of his shift housekeeping. Leaving Kaito, barring little sleeping Miyako, on his own.

Again, somewhat of a relief. 

Kaito hadn’t wanted to let it get to him. It’s not like Doppio knew exactly what he was commenting on, when he talked about Kaito being a ‘bad’ employee. Kaito had been purposefully vague… in everything except being trapped in a hyper-fixated relationship with someone. The dangers of making them your everything. He had hoped, even if Doppio had argued against Kaito’s explanation, it’d be done from an angle where Doppio would explain why his relationship with his boss was different, from the one Kaito had been caught up in.

He hadn’t expected to be told he was at fault for it.

And, well… not that… that was a new idea. Kaito often worried he was at fault for it. For all of it. That it had all been ultimately his own fault, that everything had gone so badly. So many of Byakuya’s decisions, Kaito was convinced, had been made with the idea of protecting Kaito. Micromanaging Kaito’s life and making hard, terrifying decisions because Kaito could never even hope to save himself… if Kaito had just… listened more. Tried harder. Tried at all…

Kaito swallowed, that twist in his stomach happening again, his vision morphing slightly as a shudder ran through his whole body. It was the first time someone had just plainly told him it was his fault, point blank. And Doppio had reached that conclusion barely knowing anything about it. It was just… obvious… 

Kaito felt a little nauseous. Going to check on Miyako, putting down the long-cold pastries on the desk, Kaito sat at the window seat. He opened up the window, hoping the fresh air might ease some of the shuddering repulsion, running through him. He didn’t feel good…

People didn’t rally around him. Kaito was just a groupie.

That had caught Kaito off guard too. Again, not something no one had ever hinted at to him before. It wasn’t the first time someone had found something offensive about Kaito’s whole concept of sidekicks, trying to deconstruct and degrade the idea to Kaito. But most of the time people tried to argue that Kaito was trying to take advantage of other people’s strengths to cover his own weaknesses, and that was easier to shake off, because… yeah. That was the point. Only Kaito thought of that as a positive, while others tried to sell it to him as an offense. It was easy to dismiss those arguments, because anyone who argued it missed The Point.

And honestly, calling Kaito a ‘groupie’ wasn’t what had hurt. It was the observation, idle as it was, that the people Kaito pulled together weren’t really as invested in the idea as he was. A quick, nonchalant observation that Kaito didn’t inspire confidence or cooperation in his sidekicks. That he just praised them and that was it.

Kaito didn’t… think that was true. But the insecurity that had swept through him the second Doppio had said it at least meant that a part of Kaito worried that was true. And that wave of nausea running through him had gotten worse. Little waves of stomach clenching sadness and anxiety ripping through his stomach and rippling out through the nerves running from his chest to his arms.

Doppio barely knew Kaito. He shouldn’t let the kid's words hurt him like this…

But still the shuddering didn’t stop. Kaito sat at the window seat and drew up his legs onto the seat after kicking off his shoes, resting his chest against his knees and letting his cheek against his bicep, just letting himself lightly scold his stomach. Relax… Doppio didn’t know what he was talking about. It… even if all of that was true? 

Even if it was Kaito’s fault that Byakuya had done all of those terrible things, because Kaito couldn’t manage his own life… even if his team of sidekicks had all fallen apart the second Kaito had stopped actively maintaining it, withdrawing from everyone he knew in the year before he was sent away to Dicea… even if Kaito hadn’t managed to talk to anyone at the cooking class again and he hadn’t managed to make any friends in the Luminary party without sleeping with them and even if his social life had honestly fallen apart years ago, when Kaito had let all those relationships stagnant and die upon hearing that he was being married off… 

It was always Kaito’s own fault, when everything went wrong… he was a bad brother and a bad friend and he couldn’t expect other people to make up for his own inadequacies… he was just bad and that was why everything kept going so wrong… he kept making bad decisions and that was why… they’d all be alive if Kaito had been able to take care of himself. They’d all be alive if Kaito could have just pulled it together… stupid showpet couldn’t even bite on command… Kaito didn’t even try…

Kaito had felt the first bubble of tears spill over all at once in a shuddering breath, but he was immediately distracted when he heard a whine in the crib. Oh, shoot. Miyako had been asleep, when had she woken up? Shit, could she feel what he was putting himself through right now? He needed to get it together, he needed to–

As Kaito had just started to uncurl his body to go check on his whining daughter, he found his body BOLTING upwards instead. Standing in front of Miyako’s crib protectively when a key turned in the door without a warning knock first– a habit all three of them had developed as a way to let the others warn them if they were naked and needed to get out of view of the door– and his own paranoid terror only sparking hotter when in one fluid motion, a woman walked in.

Kaito gave Kirumi a nervous, baffled look as he stepped more squarely in front of the crib, protecting Miyako as he barked, “Kirumi, what are you doing? This isn’t a cleaning hour, you can’t just– Kirumi!”

But Kirumi didn’t answer him. She just walked purposefully across the room towards him, her expression neutral– blank??– as she ignored the way Kaito raised his arms up protectively, trying to defend himself. To defend Miya from whatever this was.

…and giving Kirumi an entirely baffled look as she, with no hesitation, used one hand to rub at Kaito’s stomach, and the other pet through his hair.

“There, there…” Kirumi murmured, her expression distant. Dazed. “There, there…”

Kaito’s body had flinched at every part she had touched, but that was only initially. Mostly this was just… yes, scary, but mostly just bizarre. Kaito too nervous to ask Kirumi what the hell was happening, as she massaged at his stomach– rub, rub– and pet her hand through his hair– pat, pat– all while murmuring small little nothing words in a soothing, sing-song voice.

Like… how Kaito might do for a fussy Miyako…

Oh, baby, no.

Kaito shot a wary glance back at the crib behind him, looking down at Miyako. Miyako seemed alright now, no longer whining, and now trying to eat her foot contently. In her mind the Dad problem now efficiently dealt with. Kaito wondered if Miyako could even comprehend the discomfort and shame and embarrassment running through him right now, and that was why she was no longer disturbed by his emotions. Maybe she could comprehend a hurt stomach and a lonely ache, but not how desperately Kaito did not want this to be happening right now, as Kirumi leaned too close into him. Running her hands over him, feeling too present and warm, while she whispered vacantly “There, there… it’s quite alright now, young maste–”

A wave of fear ran through Kaito.

“Okay, stop.” Kaito said, unable to take any more of that. He wasn’t sure how much Kirumi was aware of– he knew when this happened to him, he usually was aware of it, but that he had some barely comprehended justification for his otherwise Miyako compelled actions– and he didn’t want to get angry at her or shame her for something that wasn’t her fault. But since Kirumi would likely think she had decided to do this and would need to rationalize that to herself, Kaito couldn’t let her come to the conclusion that this was a good idea. 

So, grasping her arms, he gently pulled her off him and pushed her back lightly, saying sternly, “No. That’s… that’s enough, Kirumi. Thank you for trying to help, but please stop.”

Kirumi blinked once, twice, “...you needed soothing…” she whispered, like she was reminding herself why she was doing this… before her expression twisted. Repulsion and anger running through her as she roughly pulled her arms back from him, stepping back. Rage plain on her face, as she looked for a moment like she’d like nothing more than to strike at Kaito… but that rage calmed back down to mere repulsion, as Kirumi folded her hands across her lap and said, her voice ‘calm’, her expression disgusted, “My apologies, Kaito. That was quite rude of me, I don’t know what came over me… I thought…”

Kaito could see the gears in her head spinning, trying to come up with an explanation she could cope with, and almost felt amused as she settled on, “I thought I heard young Prince Kokichi in need of aid.”

“Yeah?” Kaito asked, unable to help the sarcasm that bled into the question, though again, he knew that wasn’t fair. Kirumi hadn’t been able to help herself, and whatever reason she wanted to settle on for her actions, Kaito wasn’t in a position to correct her. Still, he gestured at the empty room around them, and said simply, “Well, he’s not here. Maybe you heard Miya? She was fussing, I was just about to start rocking her. Everything’s taken care of here, Kirumi, please feel free to leave.” Immediately.

Kirumi twitched, the two of them standing there in the embarrassing, awkward mess that the infant couldn’t have known would be the result of some nice head paps and soothing stomach rubs. Both of them staring at each other, like they were daring the other to make a thing of this… before Kaito felt a rush of relief as Kirumi, finally, turned and walked away, heading out the door.

“...fudge.” Kaito cursed. Only noticing now how badly he was trembling as he looked back down at the crib, the door clicking shut behind Kirumi, “Miya, little love, you have no idea how bad that was. Geez, kid… come here. Dad doesn’t need random people to run by and make him feel better. Especially people that kinda high key hate him, Miya. Wow. Did not see that one coming.”

As he picked up Miyako, bouncing her in his arms a little, Kaito shuddered again, but this time now because of the residual feeling of strange hands on his stomach and through his hair. The closeness of her, when he hadn’t been expecting anyone at all. The way her breath had brushed against his chin as she said…

(“It’s time to settle in, young master. There’s no time to waste, come along.”)

(“You. Go.”)

Kaito shuddered again, sitting down with Miayko and, now, rubbing her stomach, whispering little soothing nothing sounds to her as he tried to wrap his mind around the fear that ran through him. But there was no rationalizing it. Regardless of what Shuichi said, Kaito didn’t know that woman. Couldn’t remember meeting her in Luminary. The idea that she was Tengan’s top indentured assistant and Byakuya’s nanny? Unfathomable. Kaito wouldn’t forget something like that. 

He didn’t know her. 

If there was any highlight to all of that, Doppio was now far from his mind.

-

Kaito wasn’t all that far from Doppio’s mind, though. Name and all, at least for the time being. 

He knew that Kaito had been trying to draw some sort of parallel, though that was doomed from the start, considering how little the prince knew of his situation. And Doppio had easily been able to see where it went wrong in Kaito’s situation--there was a big difference between being an employee and a slave, and giving up everything of yourself to your boss was just shameful. 

…but Kaito hadn’t said that he had been a burden to his old boss, not until a little later. He had said that living for his boss had been a burden on him. And there was something of an implication that, poor work ethic aside and disregarding any attempt to improve it…leaving his job was better for both him and his boss. He hadn’t disavowed having that all-encompassing guiding force, had even said he missed it, but… Kaito talked like that sort of life was…bad. 

And as much as Doppio just wanted to shrug the whole thing off, ‘cause Kaito was a weirdo with weird, non-go-getter-y opinions…he did have good, thoughtful things to say too. 

Doppio…did like earning The Boss’s approval, and getting it could brighten a whole day. And, yeah, getting his disapproval kinda felt like the world was ending and he was going to be pecked apart by vultures. But…but he was happy working for The Boss! Grateful and fulfilled, and Doppio felt just as much pride when he got something right for a job well done than for The Boss’s approval of it. 

And…maybe, maybe he did get…lonely sometimes. And the world felt…big, and scary and… (...so much louder than he thought. Brighter and busier, and while that was amazing in some regards, in others it was…) scary, yeah. But that wasn’t because of his work, or his devotion to it. Hell, The Boss could shoo his insecurities and fears off in an instant just from walking in the room, so that was the opposite of being a problem! And it wasn’t…really like Doppio had…literally no one else. 

He was friends with Kaito, wasn’t he?

…no one else had ever checked up on him like that after one of his blackouts before. He wasn’t really sure what the prince liked, other than stars and impressive people and really bland eggs, but…flowers were always nice. He had enough time… It was always nice to receive a little ‘thank you’ bouquet. 

Yeah. Yeah. 

-

Dr. Mariah was feeding the koi fish, waiting for her clients to arrive. 

It was a nice day out, and she hadn’t had meetings for most the day, so she had found herself doing some tidying up and light gardening on the roof, long before the meeting needed to start. While Blair usually handled watering the plants most days, Dr. Mariah had found herself wanting extra time in the fresh air, using her roof garden for its original and primary purpose: relaxing. 

And she enjoyed getting time to spend showing affection to her koi fish. She didn’t keep fish as pets just because many patients found them soothing to look at during stress. She, like Kaito, also just liked fish. They were pretty and simple and asked little of you. Their emotions were steady and muted. They were mostly content. Existing because existing was all they knew to do. Neither happy nor sad, but capable of feeling ‘at peace’ or ‘alarmed’, and that was about it. 

Her koi fish were usually At Peace. They brushed against her fingers because being pet gently felt good, and they recognized that. And she liked how, when they allowed themselves to be distracted, Maki, Shuichi, Kaito, and Kokichi would also eventually feel At Peace when they got absorbed in watching their slow, lazy swim.

But, she felt the group arrive downstairs, and went to go wash her hands, done with her relaxing decompression. It was time to do what she did best. Be helpfully nosy.

Sitting down at her egg, looking composed, like she had been sitting there all along– it was just something she enjoyed doing– she gave a nod as they walked through the door, onto the roof garden, “Good day, everyone.”

“Hi, Dr. Mariah!” Kokichi chirped, giving the therapist a wave as he headed to his usual seat. Though, he barely got his feet off the ground before leaning forward in excitement, plenty of news to tell from the past few weeks. 

“We finally got around to asking Lake and Nazumi to be Miya’s god parents! And they said yes! And I dunno if you saw it going around, but we got our family portrait done! And Kai-chan made a new friend, and he sent us flowers, a really nice bouquet of pink and white carnations! And--!”

…well, Maki’s dates were noteworthy too, and he had a feeling they’d talk about it to some degree, but Kokichi was still somewhat riding the high of being the person that teased Maki the least about her romantic life and he didn’t want to screw up that record yet!

So…the last big thing was…

Kokichi faltered a little, the hype falling out of his voice to become something a little more hesitant. “And…I was included in the greater Empath community for the first time.”

Kaito chuckled at his husband’s enthusiasm, sitting in his own egg after giving Shuichi a quick kiss, his fiance heading to the other side of the koi pond with Maki. Maki smirked, practically able to hear Kokichi hold back about gushing about her own latest achievement, her egg rocking back slightly as she kicked herself into it. 

It was Shuichi who added in, “I happened to be awake in the aftermath of that. Connecting with the community didn’t overwhelm him too much, though he was a bit shaken. But otherwise it looked like it had gone well.”

“Hmmm… why feel the need to add that, Shuichi?” Dr. Mariah asked. “You know very well that for an experience like that, only how Kokichi discusses it will be the baseline.”

Shuichi looked slightly sheepish… before admitting, “I suppose I just wanted to reassure Kokichi more than anything, immediately. He really did handle it well, even if it was alarming. I’m certain he’ll suggest otherwise.”

“Let’s give him a chance to talk about it first. But,” Dr. Mariah looked over the group, tasting the air, “It sounds like otherwise you’ve all had a good week or so. Which is good. Before we begin on new things, I want to take a moment to check in. Our last session was… emotional. Kaito–”

“I feel okay.” Kaito said immediately. And feeling the weight of her silence at that, he insisted, “No, really. We’ve… they’ve,” Kaito said, gesturing to his friends, “Have given me so many chances to talk about everything we talked about last session, these last two weeks. Especially Shuichi. Everytime I start to feel overwhelmed or like it’s weighing heavily on me again, Shuichi talks it out with me, sometimes for hours. It’s been really helpful, just having people to air out these thoughts to, and, like… I don’t really feel a pressing need to analyze it right now. Thinking about it still doesn’t make me feel good, but the event itself doesn’t, like… it feels like a ‘normal’ bad. Does that make sense?”

“It does. Though, I want to be strict about this, because I know this is something you often have to hear twice, Kaito… even if the event itself feels easier to cope with right now, the ripple effects of things around that event likely still is something you need active, consistent help with. Have you talked to Miss Crystal about it?”

At this Kaito, finally, nodded. Looking a little tired at the memory, but saying with no hemming or hawing, “Yeah, we’re talking about it. She… she knows. She spends a lot of time doing thought experiments with me, about it. We’re… going through the games? Trying to figure out the tricks behind them. She’s never specifically said it, but I think she’s hoping me entirely understanding how the games worked will make it easier to not feel self conscious about them. Plus, talking them out to someone helps in the same way talking about what happened at all did. Makes it all seem less… big.”

At that, Dr. Mariah finally relaxed a little, nodding, “Good. As much as I can try, your personal therapy sessions will be far more helpful to you, in thoroughly exploring that time in your life in a healthy way. Miss Crystal is one of your biggest resources right now, mental health wise. I know keeping the magical aspects out of the conversation is challenging, but that doesn’t mean she can’t help you with the practical realities of childhood abuse. This is a significant step in the right direction, Kaito.”

“Yeah, I know… thanks.” Kaito said, trying to grin at Dr. Mariah, mostly to show willingness as he said, “It feels like the right step.”

“Good, alright… we’ll get into everything, but first, yes.” Dr. Mariah smiled, “I did see the portrait going around of the family. Miyako gets a little bigger every day, there’s already a difference now from when I saw her. And the picture itself looked quite sweet. It went well in the act?”

“It was quick, which is the most you can hope for.” Maki mused.

Dr. Mariah smiled warmly at her. Knowing Maki’s insecurities, sometimes, of being ‘part’ of the family, Dr. Mariah had been happy to see that the portrait being distributed had included her and her son. The average citizen likely wouldn’t have noticed her absence or might be confused by her presence, but as someone who knew the situation? Maki’s removal would have felt glaring, to Dr. Mariah. 

She had looked happy, in the photo.

“Wasn’t Miya and Tim adorable?! Gah! We actually took a few different photos, and I have copies of all of them, and I convinced Shuichi to make little versions for me to carry around, along with one of Tim and Miyako together, Tim holding Miya, do you wanna see?” Kaito asked, patting around his pockets, looking for them.

“Perhaps at the end of the session, let’s focus for now. Kokichi, this empath community  situation… what happened? How did it go?”

Kokichi gave Shuuichi a small, adoring smile at his praise, of sorts. Nothing had really come of the announcement, either from the content, or Kokichi’s reaction to finally feeling the greater audience of his people, but…it was still nice to know that he’d gone through it well, from his partner’s perspective. 

The past few weeks hadn’t been all exciting or relaxing but Kokichi hoped for the most part it had been good for Kaito. Kokichi knew he talked more in-depth about everything with Shuuichi, but it didn’t feel like he was holding back or censoring himself with the stuff the two of them, or more of them in a group got to the subject. Kokichi was still infuriated by what happened…but there was only so much ire he could hold for the past, and for people that one way or another, weren’t really factors for them anymore. 

It was more important to be there for Kaito now, and while Kokichi still felt the horrid itch of his ‘fix it’ genes…he did listen. And if, little by little, it was all starting to feel less big? Then…that was good.

Kokichi nodded and giggled as they commented on the pictures, Kaito getting his turn with an adoring look now, but they did have a limited session, and Kokichi took a breath to calm himself before turning back to Dr. Mariah. “Honestly…it feels a little underwhelming to talk about. And while I could only feel the Empath community, the announcement was…I guess just a post in our circle, but pertaining to the whole psychic community.”

Blinking, Kokichi gave Dr. Mariah a slightly questioning look, but chose to held his tongue. He…wasn’t sure how far the news would spread outside of psychic circles. Surely it was something various magical communities would benefit from hearing about too, right?

“Apparently there’s a good chance that there’s a Tulpa going around…somewhere,” Kokichi shrugged, keeping it brief. “And…yeah, it was kind of amazing, just feeling how many Empaths are in the community…and grumpy about being woken up in the middle of the night, but it…kinda just feels like a ‘huh, neat’ moment now.”

“Tulpa.” Maki huffed. Her disapproval clear in her voice, as she said, “Are we certain that these people aren’t just getting caught up in rumors and fairytales?”

“Maki-roll, these people are what fairytales are made of.” Kaito reminded her. “You really think they wouldn’t know what’s real or not?”

“Just because they’re more aware of what is and isn’t real in the world doesn’t make them infallible. People are stupid and prone to hysteria. I’m not giving magical people a pass.” Maki said, looking deeply unimpressed as she said, “What’s more likely: that there’s a type of belief so strong that it can create things from the air, or that Tulpa’s just their catch-all word when something even the magical community can’t explain shows up.”

Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, “Your argument isn’t unfounded, but I think all you lack is some context. Tulpas don’t spring from nothing. It’s… more like psychic residue, if you would. Psychics, unlike other forms of mind reading, come inherently with the ability to influence their physical environments. You see, psychokinesis, telekinesis, telepathy… those are all three distinct, different abilities, but people often use them interchangeable or get them confused, because it’s extremely common for someone who has one to have at least two, if not all three. And for telekinesis, the ability to move objects with one's mind, there is a physical presence in the act of using that ability. A manipulation of energy in the air, that can allow a person to pick up an item and move it without touching it.”

“A tulpa? Is when someone takes that same physical manipulation of the space around them, but refines it like sculpting a statue. A statue that, with a powerful enough and willing enough psychic ability to add complexity and depth, becomes its own creature. Given time and refinement? It can even become self-sustaining. A truly remarkable marvel of the universe.”

“...cool!” Kaito said brightly, looking to Kokichi, “Babe, can you do that?”

“They were investigating the power surge for the last year and a half, so…I’m a little more inclined to believe them if they waited that long before declaring that a Tulpa’s been made,” Kokichi shrugged, giving Maki a sheepish smile. He still wasn’t entirely sure what to think of the situation, in all honesty, and…well, the book had said that there was a lot of overlap and confusion between something being a ‘true-blue’ Tulpa, and just being something unexplained, like what Maki was saying. 

But, well, the announcement hadn’t been a call to action. It was just a warning, an explanation to inexplicable things that might at some point happen. 

Though…the idea of psychic energy having a residue, and Tulpas coming into being through a refinement of that residue…did make a lot more sense than some of the other explanations he’d read about. And it was nice to hear someone talk about them as a wonder, rather than an unnatural danger. 

Chuckling softly, Kokichi gave Kaito a shake of his head. “Not really. I mean, I’ve seen proof of an Empath’s construct evolving, and even persisting after death, but…just on an Empath’s power alone, we wouldn’t be able to materialize anything into the physical world. It’s up for debate if you’d want to count the things we could leave in people’s minds, since that is real, but…no. How people talk about Tulpas, that’s not something I’d be able to make.”

“Darn.” Kaito sighed, leaning back in his egg and pouting a little, “No new siblings for Miyako.”

“...what?” Shuichi balked. 

Kaito chuckled, giving Shuichi a wink as he kicked his legs out a bit, saying reassuringly, “It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ve still got Feelings Baby to look forward to, and Miya and Tim already keep me busy…  guess I just liked imagining completing the set early!”

“The ‘set’?” Dr. Mariah couldn’t help but ask.

Kaito nodded, counting on his fingers, “A Harukawa, a Saihara, and an Ouma… oh, well, I guess tulpa baby wouldn’t be an Ouma… oh! Then a Momota!” Kaito grinned brightly, “I’d have one of each!”

“Are you being sincere or are you just enjoying all of us staring at you bug eyed?” Maki asked pointedly. 

Kaito just grinned back at her, kicking his legs some more.

Kokichi snorted softly, just shaking his head a little. “...I don’t think I’d create a Tulpa even if I could, though. A friend of mine once told me how new life isn’t just created, and…apparently there’s a lot of debate on whether Tulpa are actually alive. And a lot of the ones I’ve read about aren’t really, er, people.”

“Knowing how strange constructs can be,” Kokichi shrugged, “I just have a feeling that anything else created from imagination and belief is gonna be just as variable and weird. I wouldn’t wanna put those expectations on any kind of new being. Expectations are hard enough for kids that are born more usual ways.”

“Yeah, like Feelings Baby,” Kaito agreed, grinning, “Who’s apparently going to be a little spitfire. Oh! I spent some… uh… oh, wait, this might actually be a Thing,” Kaito realized looking to Kokichi, “I… sort of? Spent time with Nellis?”

“You did? I haven’t heard of this.” Maki said.

“Yeah, it wasn’t a huge deal, it was just… Kokichi and I were basically going on a date in his brain. It was nice,” Kaito smiled, a warm, pleased look on his face as he said, “He showed me a memory of himself getting treats at harvest. He was so cute, you guys, this sweet little kid, all excited and just a few steps behind the bigger kids… smart, too! Was solving riddles and things for treats, I really loved it… and, well, you know how we are…”

“It devolved into a really deep and somewhat sad conversation?” Shuichi guessed.

“Yeah. It did.” Kaito shrugged, “We got through it, we ended up just talking about the sort of wording we use with kids when it comes to, like, dating and the implications of sex, and that kinda led to Kokichi telling me about… is it alright if I explain, beautiful?”

Kokichi looked at Kaito in surprise for a moment, before he perked, lips making an ‘o’ before he nodded. Honestly…he’d kind of forgotten about that. Not their date--it had been sweet and fun and…yeah, a little depressingly deep at one point, but the whole…him not quite being Nellis, but looking like him and…yeah. That. 

Giving a knowing huff as Shuuichi called them out, Kokichi gave Kaito a nod. “Yeah, that’s alright with me. We actually started talking about it a little between the three of us, Shuu-chan,” he nodded to his fiance. “About my past lives.”

“I see. And how did all that go? I know how we handle the realities of your unique existences is still an ongoing development. Nellis arrived again?” Dr. Mariah prompted, looking to Kaito.

“Soooort of?” Kaito said, still not… entirely sure. “Kokichi explained to me that Nellis’s marriage was about as traumatic and nonsensical as ours was, but didn’t even have a happy ending. This weirdo who hated him showed up, made a pitch for marriage with his mom, got into an arranged marriage with him, said some shitty things and just high tailed it out of his life for the rest of forever, immediately. It was, just…” Kaito frowned, rolling his eyes a little as he grumbled, “Ugh. Sort of sounded to me like some busy-body woman wanted a quick way into politics, or at worst, just wanted the Ouma name to feel special. Anyway, I started to talk to Kokichi and reassure him that that super isn’t Nellis’s fault… like, sometimes! Soooometimes! People just request and give your love life away! For, like…” Kaito shrugged aggressively, rolling his eyes again as he threw his hands into the air, “Yeah! For whatever! Man, still pisses me off thinking about it… but yeah, as I was reassuring him, Kokichi put on the Nellis mask by accident and…”

At that, again, Kaito became hesitant, “...he both was and wasn’t him. It was… almost nice? If a little unsettling. It was nice to resolve things with the side of Kokichi that I was struggling with, and I’ll admit, kissing a bigger, gruffer looking ‘Kichi was…” Kaito grinned crookedly, “fun.”

“Kaito…” Shuichi sighed.

“Like, barely! I think it was on the cheek! I was respectful!” Kaito insisted, “...but yeah. It’s still a learning experience, with all of that, I think. I feel like it was Kokichi the whole time, but the lines definitely got… blurred.”

“I see.” Dr. Mariah nodded, looking to Kokichi now, “What about from your perspective, Kokichi? The last time Nellis took over, you said you felt drunk in his perspective, ultimately. Was this experience the same?”

Even if it was tradition…Kokichi was gonna make sure his heir had more control over their love life and marriage. In an increasingly connected world, political ties were important…but all the ones Kokichi knew had been abusive at worst, and uncomfortable and depressing at best. If anything, he was just gonna say that the person or people that made his heir the happiest would be helping Dicea that way, and not push for anything else. No more games with people’s love lives. 

Snorting a little at Kaito’s perspective of Nellis being there, though, Kokichi shook his head at Dr. Mariah. “No. I still felt like me, as I am now. I wasn’t trying to call upon any memories, apart from telling Kai-chan what happened. I was really surprised to see that I looked like him.”

“...but…I dunno,” Kokichi sighed. “I might just be trying to find something where there isn’t, but…it kinda felt like there was a part of me a little…settled and satisfied, after. Like, mostly it was just kinda confusing, and I enjoyed our date and I felt like our talk was something we needed to have, but…” He shrugged a little. “If I had to personify…myself? I’d say that maybe it was…kinda like closure for that memory of Nellis, without me actually drawing upon his memories. If that makes any sense.”

“I hope so.” Kaito said sincerely. Giving Kokichi an earnest expression of love, as he said softly, “I don’t care how far in your past it is… if I can make you happy? Or even just make things a little easier… I want to. Even if it’s just giving you a chance to talk about something that still bothers you over lifetimes.”

“Or is an early morning baking emergency.” Maki dryly pointed out.

“Oh, yeah, that too.” 

“This is one of those developing conversations.” Dr. Mariah decided, tapping against her journal, “It’s, for relationship communication? Maybe easily the conversation we have to stay most on top of, but at the same time, can develop the slowest. Interactions with the various sides of yourselves, between each other, isn’t something you all need to know how to do, or even really how to define, right away. I’m afraid if we searched through my textbooks, a simple and pre-planned solution wouldn’t be present in any of them.” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, before her face turned serious again, “But don’t become complacent either. Every new development? Should be discussed in this environment, even if it went well. It’s the only way I can help you, and it’s the best way to let you help yourselves. Understand?”

There were a few nods, some murmuring, and her point made, Dr. Mariah opened up her journal and looked into it, “I haven’t assigned homework in a bit now. The last session had too much going on in it to find the moment. What else… Kaito, you made a new friend?”

“Who sent him flowers.” Shuichi pointed out, giving Kaito a curious look at that, not entirely without skepticism as he said, “Which is… certainly a way of saying ‘thanks for hanging out’.”

“Yeah, it’s weird, people I’m literally just friends with keep getting me flowers. You guys never buy me flowers. How come I never get flowers from you?” Kaito teased– in a very good mood that day, all things considered– before he shrugged, “I found him passed out, helped him out, bought him food, and he wanted to show me appreciation, I guess.”

“In the form of a freshly delivered bouquet.” Shuichi said again dryly.

“Hey, if you don’t want other guys buying me flowers, maybe you should buy me flowers. Just saying.” Kaito sniffed. 

“I’m lost, who is the other person who bought Kaito flowers?” Maki asked Shuichi, looking a little bored of the conversation.

“Drake.” Shuichi explained to her, “But that was okay because I asked him to.”

“You can’t stop people from buying Kaito flowers, Shuichi. Look at him. That’s a man you buy flowers.”

Kaito grinned, preening a bit, “Exactly, Maki, thank you.”

Dr. Mariah tilted her head slightly, tasting something on Kaito, despite his playful attitude. “...so they were appreciation flowers then? For your help?”

“...” Kaito huffed, leaning his own head on the side of the egg, shrugging a little, “I mean, maybe partly. It came with a note.”

At that, Shuichi furrowed his eyebrows, “It did? I didn’t see that.”

“I took it off before we put it in the vase. Said, ya know… ‘sorry for being a brat’.”

Now at that Maki seemed more willing to pay attention. Her bored gaze focusing, “In what sense?”

“In a ‘brat’ sense. Either this guy is a teenager, or is mentally stuck there, because man, he wanted to argue with every bit of fussing I did and every random thing I said. Stroooong brat vibes. Honestly, ‘Kich, he reminds me so much of you when we first met… which, admittedly, maybe just makes me more fond of him.”

There was still a taste there. Stale, but only recently so. A hurt that Kaito hadn’t so much ‘moved past’ as ‘barreled through’. It did taste pretty good… was it worth focusing on this? Hmmm… maybe not. If only because Kaito himself didn’t seem that focused on it, at the moment. Which might change later. Dr. Mariah would keep an eye on it.

“Thank you, Kai-chan. And the same goes for you, too,” Kokichi said softly, that adoring look beamed right back at his husband, even with the sheepish laugh that came from the reminder of his baking emergency. Koharu might’ve been more composed than Nellis the first time she set up a meeting with Kaito, but who was the person that actually provoked Kokichi enough to do something in his own life?

…probably useless questions and observations when, at the end of the day, it was all just him. 

Kokichi had been absolutely delighted when Kaito (and Waku) had come home proclaiming that he’d made a new friend at the pub, and while it had been a little more concerning to hear about the kid apparently passing out in an alley, he’d been tickled that Doppio (last name only, he’d been told) thought to send them flowers. 

But…apparently there was a bit more to it than that. 

Kokichi raised his eyebrows a little before huffing, halfway between amused and exasperated. “So you do admit I was a brat… I am happy that you guys have hit it off, and…well, I think it is a good sign if he sent flowers to apologize, but…”

Kokichi’s eyebrows scrunched in. “...I know I regularly said a lot of hurtful, cruel things to people, back when I was in that mindset. Whatever he said or did to you…are you okay, hun?”

Kaito laughed, “Okay, you could be… a tad difficult, in the early days. For a lot of valid reasons! And I was no walk in the park either! But, yes, you had some… moments. I’ll admit that. But honestly, we’ve already talked about most of them, and I don’t resent it, beautiful. You’re wonderful.”

“Gag.” Maki motioned to Shuichi, shoving her finger in her mouth, who laughed lightly behind his hand, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, you keep laughing it up over there, Maki-roll. We’re telling her about the dates at some point.” Kaito warned her, Maki puffing out her cheeks in a slightly embarrassed pout. Rubbing the back of his neck, Kaito thought about what he should say… eh. Maybe he should just be honest… “In his defense? Because he does have one, once I had a moment to think about I could see it, but in his defense, I probably was coming across pretty patronizing. My friend has this job he’s really invested in, and this boss he’s super attached to, and when I was listening to him talk it just…”

Kaito frowned, looking away, “It made me think of Byakuya. When he could do no wrong, ya know? And like… just living for his approval? Maybe it’s because we talked about it so recently, but man, listening to my friend felt like listening to me when I was twelve… or fourteen… or twenty. Or about nine months ago.” Kaito sighed, rubbing his temple, “It just sounded similar, so I started projecting. And without even really explaining the comparison I had made, I started comparing my situation to his, sort of trying to get him to start talking about, like, dependent or abusive relationships with me, in one way or another…”

“...but again. I worded it wrong. I called Byakuya a ‘boss’ I had because I wanted to really drive in that I was trying to relate it to his thing, and that it was a job I used to do that I don’t anymore, and blah, blah, blah… it probably sounded really petty to him. And when I said that, like, the relationship was a real burden on both our lives, mine and my bosses, because he kept having to micromanage me until things got bad…”

Kaito rolled his eyes, his dismissal of the situation not matching the taste he released in the air, “He said it just sounded like I was a bad employee and that I was a burden on ‘my boss’. That if I really respected him and his time, I’d have quit. And I know how stupid that sounds, but man, for a minute there? That got me. Bad. Which is stupid, we were literally talking about two different things. A miscommunication entirely on my part.”

{^3^~♡}

Kokichi couldn’t say that Kaito hadn’t seen him at his worst…but he hadn’t seen much of Kokichi at his most casually cruel and most isolationist. In some ways, Kokichi had been too focused on the whole shitshow with his Luminaries that he was just too busy to be mean to his family, all up until Kaito managed to pull Kokichi’s head out from his ass. Teenagers, just as a result of rampaging hormones and being at a stage where they were figuring themselves out could be cruel nightmares…but a teen that was Going Through Some Shit?

Well…Kokichi knew how horrible that could be for the people around them. 

…a teen maybe in a dependent or abusive relationship…

While there was a slight frown on his face, Kokichi listened to Kaito explain the situation. Even with the comparison to Byakuya, which set off more than a few red flags, and comparison to the pedestal that Kaito used to put his brother on and was still working through…

There was a moment when Kokichi’s expression hardened, anger flaring in his heart from…Doppio essentially saying that it was Kaito’s fault, the mess his and Byakuya’s relationship became, and the, just, wounded feeling coming from Kaito as he explained…

Kokichi let out a slow breath, closing his eyes and counting to five before he opened them. 

“...it does sound like you guys weren’t on the same page. While I would still take issue with his outlook in a job-sense, it…it really doesn’t sound like he knew at all that you were making a different comparison.” Taking another breath, Kokichi’s eyes sharpened. “...which is the only reason I’m not asking you for his address so I can personally have a chat with him.”

With another breath, Kokichi let that anger bleed away from him. It really didn’t sound like Doppio meant what, with Kaito’s context, it seemed like he said. And…well. They had all seen how hard it was even accepting that you were in an abusive relationship, if that was the case with him. But more importantly right now, and overall in Kokichi’s eyes unless they found out the kid really was in danger, was that it felt like Kaito was on the verge of tipping right back into believing that it was his fault.

“...even if you didn’t express yourself clearly, it’s not dumb for you to feel hurt by something that’s hurtful. Especially from someone you’re making friends with. That’s shitty, Kai-chan, I’m sorry. And I’m glad he apologized to you.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a somewhat startled look at that… before his face turned red. Scratching at his chin a little as he looked away, whispering a flustered little “Damn,” to himself. 

“As someone who really was in a ‘boss’ situation where my life was micromanaged to a minute by minute degree, I’d like to say it’s still a shitty thing to say, suggesting I’m at fault for their controlling tendencies.” Shuichi said plainly, raising his hand as he did so, before pointing towards Maki.

“Yep. Still a shitty thing to say. Sounds like he’s delusional to me, if he couldn’t see the issues himself.” Maki agreed, before saying far more bluntly than Kokichi had, “And worst if he had you thinking it was your fault that Byakuya went mad with power and lost his damn mind and just started murdering all of his problems. That’s very much a ‘him’ thing.”

“Hah!” Kaito barked, the laugh erupting out of him nervously, before he covered his mouth. Giving a little growl of frustration, before saying, “Sorry, sorry, I’m fine, that just slipped out… I know guys, I know, I just… he’s not entirely wrong. I mean, I’d still argue he didn’t know what he was arguing, but if we take him entirely out of the equation, and are just talking about, like, my situation with Byakuya…”

“Not your fault.” Shuichi insisted. Hoping if he said it shortly and plainly, he could cut off whatever Kaito was about to argue, get him to see reason immediately. He was disappointed when Kaito let out a huff of frustration, immediately shaking his head instead.

“No, listen. Look, I know Tengan made those sessions partly to abuse me and do weird stupid sex shit, alright, I get that… but Byakuya was also there. Getting abused. Just in a different way… every time I was getting a lesson that I was helpless without him and desperately needed him to protect me from my own stupid choices, he was getting that same lesson. Getting reinforced over and over again that his kid brother was hapless, that if he didn’t micromanage me then I was going to fall apart without him… and look what happened to me! It’s not like he was wrong. I sabotaged my own life so much, I still do it!”

Dr. Mariah sighed. Ah, well… she supposed she’d hear about Maki dating some other time. This was a crisis. Darn. 

“Well, we should talk about this, then, especially if it’s an aspect of your training that you still feel like is sabotaging your life.” Though, how to start… “You say that your actions reinforced Byakuya’s training to micromanage your life, yes? Let’s explore that.”

Kokichi gave more emphatic nods to Shuuichi and Maki’s points as they brought them up. He would’ve argued the same ideas, and had brushed upon it, but…well, he wasn’t exactly the most convincing authority on the subject for someone that was struggling. Kokichi did have bosses, technically, and his father and Hideki especially could be control freaks in their own ways…but when Kokichi had been working directly under them, it had never felt like they were stifling his ability to work, or demanding impossible things from him, or treating him like another pair of hands for their brains. He had been learning the ropes of how to take care of administrative matters and…they helped him learn how to do that. 

To the point that nowadays? It barely felt like Kokichi had any oversight at all, though technically he still answered to Hideki on a process level. Kokichi had dealt with a terrible father, not a terrible boss, and while he still felt like his opinions and ideals when it came to workplace relationships were valid…actual experience was the thing that would probably weigh more in Kaito’s mind. 

And then just the Byakuya issue on its own…

Kokichi sighed softly. “...you are right. Your brother was being abused too. But his abuse wasn’t your fault either. And even if he was told over and over that you needed him…” Kokichi grimaced. “...it was still his choice to act. And even if he certainly never acted that way…he knows that too.”

Kaito had been listening, already knowing that there was going to be a lot of ‘you weren’t at fault, Byakuya made his own decisions’ arguments. And Kaito appreciated it, he really did. Hearing Doppio say the exact opposite had really reinforced to Kaito how desperately he needed to hear those arguments, because otherwise he started to spiral. Maybe it was unkind to hope to hear arguments he didn’t always believe in, but as comforting as they were, his friends just couldn’t understand. They weren’t there, they had never seen it. Kaito had been hopeless and pathetic and basically begging Byakuya to take care of him, if not in words than absolutely in action… if his brother had gone crazy with that responsibility, Kaito couldn’t ignore that his inability to make good choices for himself as a teenager and an adult hadn’t helped anything…

But Kaito was capable of noticing when his husband was talking around something, too. And his eyes fixated on Kokichi, now entirely unconcerned about the rest of that stuff, as he did what he always did, when he saw hints of actual love in his Luminary family. Went desperately digging for real, tangible proof, as Kaito asked point blank, “Did you see something in his head?”

Kokichi glanced up at Kaito, a little startled from his intense focus…before he nodded, something a little tired in his eyes as he let out a breath. 

“Yeah. I wasn’t lying when I told you before, that I didn’t want to go searching around in him. He didn’t consent to that. But…sometimes dreams are more telling than absolutely nonsense.”

Kokichi sighed, leaning back in his chair. “...I don’t know if he ever registered it as abuse…but he knows that the both of you were being manipulated, at least. And while I really don’t think it’s made any of his decisions look any better…when he’s calm enough to think, he believes that he’s risen above what Tengan did to you guys. Above games that no one’s meant to win.”

Quiet for a moment, Kokichi seemed to visibly struggle with something…before he sighed. It wasn’t a precedent he wanted to set, but he already was violating Byakuya’s privacy to an uncomfortable degree. And…he didn’t think that Byakuya would ever actually tell Kaito any of this. Because even when he had risen above what Tengan tried to instill in him…Byakuya was still a self-important asshole. 

“...my friends did look deeper in him, because they were searching for any tethers Tengan might’ve left behind. They didn’t tell me anything they saw, by my request…” Kokichi’s lips twisted. “...but my mentor did say that Byakuya was obsessed with you. And that the two of you being apart was probably the best thing that ever could’ve happened.”

Kaito felt his hand run over his stomach, gripping at the shirt a little… but that brought back uncomfortable memories of Kirumi rubbing his stomach, so he let it go and started to pop and play with his joints a little. Chewing on his lower lip as he considered that…

“...I mean, in one sense, that makes sense. Byakuya tried so hard to take care of me–”

“Sometimes.” Shuichi interrupted.

“When he felt like it that week.” Maki added in.

“Or month.”

“Didn’t he barely talk to you for a year before he went on that big trade negotiation trip?”

“Oh, but when he came back and found out you were dating for the first time, suddenly it was insanely important what you were doing every minute of the day.”

“Maki, Shuichi. Enough.” Dr. Mariah finally snapped, giving the both of them a frustrated glare. “We understand your point, but that isn’t helpful, and Kaito is trying to express something important. Give him space to talk.”

Kaito grit his teeth, as Maki and Shuichi both went silent at that. Understanding what they were to say, by pointing all of that out… that Byakuya attempts to take care of him had been wildly inconsistent. That there had been long periods of time where his brother seemed to be barely aware Kaito existed, and that what Byakuya had considered important or worth correcting had felt random, often alarmingly so. Things that were fine one month were unacceptable the next, incidents that Kaito just needed to deal with one year becoming Events the next. Byakuya had never been consistent in his care, in what was important and what wasn’t, and that inconsistency had often left Kaito feeling confused and adrift and more than a little paranoid of what might inspire Byakuya’s focus and anger. It had always felt like a roll of the dice.

But… if Byakuya had maybe been struggling to manage his own controlling tendencies, when it came to Kaito… was maybe even trying to manage how often he focused on Kaito, with wildly inconsistent results, just because Byakuya himself couldn’t manage or maintain his own feelings.

… Kaito didn’t care if he was reaching for something that wasn’t there. He suddenly gripped his hands into fists, and said sternly, staring at his knees, “Tengan made me want to… offer myself to Byakuya. That was the point. And while I’d love it if there really was some grand plan behind it to justify it, he probably did it because he was a pedophile who would have enjoyed watching. Fine, whatever… maybe Byakuya was struggling with those same feelings. I don’t mean, like, that’s just how he was, because I really don’t think so. I don’t think Byakuya ever wanted that out of our relationship… but maybe Tengan, either in his head or the real world, made that a choice Byakuya actually had to make? Like… maybe Byakuya would have wanted me to do it, but decided it wasn’t good for me and refused?”

“...is that a comforting thought?” Dr. Mariah asked gently, able to taste in the air that it was. “Why?”

“I don’t know… I guess it’s nice to think that Byakuya made a choice specifically because he loved me. I don’t think whatever Tengan did really made that thought uncontrollable for Byakuya, because clearly it wasn’t… the ‘thought’ being what I could offer, I mean,” Kaito said carefully, still struggling to call the sexual relationship what it had been supposed to be, “But if it was something that a part of Byakuya could have accepted? That he struggled to say no to, but kept at it because… to protect me? Even when I was literally throwing myself at him?”

“...I know it’s not a lot, especially in comparison to everything else. But I do find that thought comforting, yeah. That Byakuya said no for my benefit… I mean, if Kokichi’s friends said he was still thinking about maybe… stuff like that? Assuming that’s what they meant? I mean, he’s the one that made a friendly relationship between each other basically impossible, he put a wall between us that never went down… maybe at least partly it was out of love?” Kaito shrugged, gripping his hands together as he said softly, “That’s… something. I guess. Maybe.”

Kokichi made a strained expression. 

He didn’t doubt that there was something comforting in that thought for Kaito. The idea of people he loved doing literally anything out of consideration for him was something Kokichi knew his husband craved. And…it was something they had disagreed on almost since the very start, that struggling to do that considerate thing was an ultimate expression of love. 

(...to the point it almost seemed like Kaito nearly disregarded the things that were easy. Even if easy things were still choices people made.)

But…for all his flaws, Kokichi had never gotten the impression that Byakuya had ever come close to being a sexual predator to his brother. And the impression (which was pretty good, since intent was hard to lose nuance with) he’d gotten from Alter Ego wasn’t that Byakuya’s obsession was a sexual one. …honestly, from what he had seen in the nightmare, Kokichi would be suddenly concerned if it was, since Byakuya had supplanted his internal image of Theor with Kaito. 

…it constantly felt like Kokichi was taking away the things that gave Kaito comfort. Calling them horrific, or delusional. 

…even if finding comfort in thinking your brother a potential rapist was incredibly horrifying.

As someone who did her master thesis on refining the practices of handling small children with dangerous substance abuse addictions– often side effects to traumatic homelives, where such substances are usually introduced by force– Dr. Mariah actually wasn’t terribly surprised by Kaito’s explanation. It was a depressingly common one, though she doubted Kaito quite understood himself what he was hoping for yet. Though, as she was about to explain–

“If Byakuya had wanted to rape you, he would have.” Maki said, deadpan. “The fact that you think he has any sort of restraint on his desires is you giving him way too much credit. That monster took everything he ever wanted.”

Kaito flinched at that, and his hands, which had been worrying his joints again, twisted into tightly clenched fists as his face suddenly furrowed in frustration, saying through gritted teeth, “Maki.”

“Kaito.” Shuichi said, his voice soft. So soft that it likely cut through better than his usual cold frustration or exasperation, something just genuinely worried in his eyes as he insisted, “He killed your parents. So that he could take the throne at twenty-five.”

“So did Kaede!” Kaito shouted. Something strained and panicked and resentful on his face as he leaned forward, gripping the sides of his eggs as he shouted, “So did you guys! No one could wait. Everyone decided they wanted to rule the fucking kingdom before they fucking hit thirty! My kingdom ripped itself apart into civil war because a bunch of assholes in their early twenties all were fucking impatient! So why was he self-important and a monster, but Kaede was our ‘fucking savior??’” Kaito shouted, saying the last two words sarcastically, rolling his eyes before snarling at them, “You guys just hate him, so you always want to see the worst!”

“Your literal ‘BEST’ version of him is him ‘WANTING TO RAPE YOU!’ You MORO–”

“Stop.” Dr. Mariah said calmly.

“Stop!” Kokichi said a bit less calmly.

She didn’t do this often. The last time she had done it with this group, it had been stopping the mentors when they had gotten out of control trying to take control of the session. She really only did it when she tasted something dangerous in the air. And right now she tasted between Kaito and Maki something they’d want to spar about… but, well. Immediately. And without dance. And probably without ‘sparring’ and more just attacking each other. All of this having grazed something between them that they hadn’t really dealt with yet.

At her insistence, Maki and Kaito went rigid, sitting back and going quiet. Something tense and a little confused on their expressions. Shuichi’s was less obvious, but he also went a little stiller. And Kokichi…

Dr. Mariah raised a slight eyebrow, as at almost the exact same moment she did, she felt a small burst from his end. A little strained cry coming from him, and she tilted her head at him slightly… huh. He was unaffected. She could see it on him, her influence running through and past him without consequence. Hmm… before saying to the group, “Apologies. That feeling was me. I only meant to calm the situation for a moment. The effect should fade in a moment.”

After a second, Maki, Shuichi and Kaito’s bodies relaxed… and a small gurgling sound escaped Kaito. Putting his head into his hands as his chest heaved slightly, gritting his teeth and trying to calm himself down before wetly saying, “Why do I keep doing that… what is wrong with me…?”

That was…probably a really valid point. Kokichi could say he never got that impression from Byakuya, but even being in his head, he purposely didn’t look that far, and when all was said and done, he just didn’t know the guy that well. More insight than a lot of people, sure, but he hadn’t literally grown up with him. 

…but the rest of his family had. And not even arguing the point of the desire itself, but just pointing out Byakuya’s poor impulse control? Even Kokichi had seen more evidence to support that than refute it. 

However, as his family started arguing about more than just that, Kokichi looked around in slight worry and panic, until…

Kokichi gave Dr. Mariah a rather shocked look, though…he did appreciate her honesty. Other than knowing that she was involved in the magical community, and had certain skills that would give her a leg up in helping Maki, they’d mostly left the “mystery” of how she was involved in the community be. Kokichi hadn’t shared what he had felt, when it all came out, and…he had been under the impression that she didn’t want it to come out. 

But when it came to their group, and feeling foreign compulsions…his gaze did soften in gratitude. 

Before it softened even more in sorrow, as Kokichi slipped out of his seat, going over to kneel by Kaito. “...I don’t think there’s something wrong with you, to want to be loved, Kai-chan.”

“But why do I get so angry, I’ve put s-so much f-fucking work into this and I still end up just screaming at you guys, I do the stupid fucking rock, a-and I’ve been in therapy for months and I’m still not any better.”

“You are, actually. You’re just too close to see it.” Dr. Mariah told him patiently, “And while I know nine months feels like a tremendous amount of time right now, one day you’ll look back after years and realize that years is what you needed. Therapy is a slow, consistent practice. There’s no quick fixes or single lessons that fix all your problems through catchy phrase work… it’s practice. Long term, steady practice.”

Tapping at her journal, Dr. Mariah looked at the group– Kokichi looked a little frightened, Shuichi sad, Maki frustrated, and Kaito breaking down– and she tapped at her journal a bit, trying to work out the next step… “I’m going to pour everyone some water. Then, we’re going to work through all of that.”

She did so, going around one by one. The act itself an unofficial ‘break’, as they all quietly waited for her to finish, murmuring small thanks, Kaito still just cradling his head in his hands, trying to pull himself together… and while his eyes were red-rimmed, he did look calmer after taking a few sips of water, Dr. Mariah settling back down in her egg.

“Normally,” Dr. Mariah said, after a sip of her water, “I like to let my clients come to conclusions themselves, letting them talk themselves through it. But, Kaito, I worry that if I gave you time and space to come to realize why you feel like this, you might come to it from a destructive, self-punishing angle. Blaming yourself, as it were. So I’m just going to explain it to you, what this is.”

“Sure.” Kaito murmured, shrugging somewhat resignedly, “Tell me why my brother hates me.”

“Actually, what I have to say has very little to do with him, and everything to do with you… there is something that happens, at a certain point of self-reflection and therapy. And that is something I’ve always referred to informally as ‘recovery projection’.” Dr. Mariah said, keeping her expression even and relaxed, as Kaito gave her a wary look at that, “It’s extremely common, especially for people in your situation, where your abusive situation was shared with others. When a person starts to recognize the way they were harmed, the issues they were or are dealing with, and recognizing which recovery practices are working with them, there comes a point where you start seeing signs of your own issues in others. It’s partly because those are the signs you so intimately relate to, and start being fine-tuned to see it more often, but it’s also because…”

Dr. Mariah sighed, “There is community, in trauma. Another way of saying ‘misery loves company’, but without the negative interpretations. There’s a desire to want to relate and connect with others, who have experienced the things you have experienced. To not feel alone in them. It’s especially common in childhood family abusive dynamics. To want to know that in all respects to the event, that you weren’t suffering alone.”

Kaito frowned, “I wasn’t, I just said. Byakuya was also there and–”

“He was going through something else. Equally urgent, but…” Dr. Mariah glanced around the group, genuinely hesitating… before she sighed a little, “This is the sort of thing I think is best suited for your sessions with Miss Crystal, and I am insisting you talk about it with her… but Kaito, you are not at fault for desiring a relationship that you were manipulated into pursuing. It doesn’t make you unusual or responsible or anything negative that you may associate with that feeling. It’s incredibly common in childhood sexual abuse cases. Sex, arousal… those emotions feel good. The horrifying circumstances around them in your youth didn’t stop that. It’s alright for you to struggle with the reality of that.”

“And it’s alright to wish you weren’t the only one struggling with that, in your childhood. To wish you could relate to him through it. That’s a natural desire to feel, to not be the only one struggling with something you hate. But, as someone who has never met your brother? I still feel confident to suggest it is you projecting. To not feel alone… again.” Dr. Mariah said gently, “It’s very, very common. It’s why group therapy sessions work so well. It helps to see you’re not alone, without having to invent the condition in others.”

“...” Kaito sighed, rubbing his temple, “...I just want Byakuya to be like me, huh?”

“Essentially.”

“...damn.” Kaito muttered. 

Kokichi stayed by Kaito’s side through the break, putting a light hand on his knee but not initiating touch any more than that, and not bringing up any conversation. Just…trying to be there for his husband. Yeah, he was horrified with the connection Kaito had reasoned out and found comfort in, but…that wasn’t any fault of Kaito’s, in what he had been trying to do. And Kokichi knew that it wasn’t Kaito romanticising rape. 

It was just…

Returned to his egg, sipping on water as Dr. Mariah explained the concept more clearly of what Kaito had been trying to do, Kokichi sighed softly, nodding to himself. There wasn’t anything wrong or unusual about not wanting to feel alone or broken. Sometimes those feelings drove people to horrible conclusions or actions, but the feelings themselves were just…normal. Seeking out community and understanding was what people were made to do, even in the best circumstances, so of course a person that was hurt would seek out the same. 

That was no fault of Kaito’s. But…it was still important to realize what you were doing, and to keep reality in mind. 

Kokichi cracked a small, grim smile. “...I think I used to do that to Shuu-chan, actually. While he was doing rehab. It…really does sneak up on ya, huh, trying to draw parallels.”

Shuichi gave Kokichi a small, gentle look, before sighing a bit, “...Dr. Ford wanted me to join a group therapy. For victims of spores. I refused, I… I’ll admit, I thought it’d be frustrating. What are the odds of finding more people who were indentured, and was addicted to spores, and got pregnant and got… abused during their spores…”

Shuichi closed his eyes, sighing… before looking to Kaito, “Do you think you’d want to go with me?”

Kaito raised his eyebrows at that– having mindlessly grabbed Kokichi’s hand by this point, gently worrying his joints between Kaito’s fingers now, gently popping the thin bones, massaging Kokichi’s hand in restless nerves. “Me?”

“It’s weird that that surprises you, and it’s weird that I struggle with that too.” Shuichi said gently, “I do the opposite of project. For me, I’m just the only one who’s ever dealt with this, ever, and no one else could possibly understand… but you did deal with this too. We know part of your conditioning was Tengan using spores on you. I bet he did it to jumpstart your hormones as a young kid, before puberty. Then he used his empath nonsense to just direct your focus… that’s all a longer, slower burn of what happened to me. And maybe you didn’t get pregnant, and no one ended up physically touching you, but there was still long term consequences for all of that…”

Shuichi nodded to Kokichi, saying softly, “Maybe some of our similarities and parallels were you projecting. But me not seeing similarities in mine and Kaito’s situation is just me trying to keep distance in my pain… I think.” Shuichi sighed, “I think Kaito and I have talked to each other about what our experience on spores was like, once. I told him my body felt like it was heating up when I took them, and Kaito said he didn’t notice the heat until later. That’s it… and that’s bizarre, saying it aloud. We…” Shuichi looked to Kaito, “We should be talking more about things like that. Not just trading stories about what they did to us to each other, but… the issues we have around them. I shouldn’t hold back from talking to you about that stuff thinking you couldn’t possibly understand. And… you…”

Shuichi trailed off, uncertain what to say.

“...I always feel like a burden, talking to you about this.” Kaito admitted, looking to Shuichi, “It feels a little stupid saying that now, because I feel like we do nothing but talk about my issues. But it was something I really resisted doing for a long time. I never wanted to break down on you guys, and now it feels like I do that constantly, and I’ll be honest?” Kaito grinned warily, “I still hate it. I hate being like this so much, you guys… but I can’t make it stop. It’s just too much now.”

Still idly popping Kokichi’s knuckles, Kaito looked away warily, “...but talking to a bunch of strangers about it…?”

Kokichi widened his eyes in slight surprise, just letting Kaito fuss with his hands. He knew it was comfort motions, but…well, he could get a nice massage out of it too. 

He knew that support groups for the victims of the poppy epidemic existed. Personally, Seiko had mentioned it a few times when they discussed her then still-ongoing work on the anti-fungal agent, during his check-ups, and more officially, Kokichi had seen flyers and paperwork going into finding appropriate resource lists and reservations for the groups. 

He…even thought that Shuuichi had once mentioned that Dr. Ford mentioned them to him, but since nothing had come from it…

Their group relationship counseling worked wonders, so Kokichi knew it wasn’t like Shuuichi didn’t benefit at all from group sessions, but…Shuuichi hadn’t talked about looking into it. So Kokichi hadn’t pushed. And he wasn’t exactly regretting that now, but hearing how little his partners had tried to relate to each other?

Patting Kaito’s hand with the hand not crackling in his husband’s, Kokichi offered him a small smile. “...that’s not something you have to decide on immediately, and never change your mind about. Maybe…you and Shuu-chan could have some talks together. And then you could ask yourself if going to a group is something you want. It’s not like support groups have a membership or anything, so if you ever wanted to check it out, you wouldn’t be beholden to coming back. You could even leave right in the middle.”

“...but it might be a relief, to talk to other people who have had similar experiences.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a small, adoring smile– his husband honestly was a very soothing presence– before sighing. Taking his hands back and tapping his fists against each other, once, again, like he was a ticking clock… before he looked to Shuichi, brow furrowed, “Want to take that advice? At least try to do it with each other? Cause, like… I love being there for you guys. Hearing about your problems. I’ve always hated that you were too scared to tell me about the Nao stuff cause I’d get angry… I don’t know if you were still holding back because of that, after telling me the things she did?”

“Maybe partly.” Shuichi admitted, “I’m always a little worried something I say will be the final straw, for you.”

“It won’t, it won’t… I have too much to lose, now.” Kaito murmured, “And I don’t like to admit that things happened at all. I really hate it. Honestly even telling you guys about all of this felt like pulling teeth, when it was happening… but I’m really glad I’ve been doing it. Even if I hate being this kind of person, I know I couldn’t do what I was doing forever… mostly because I couldn’t. I tried. Guys, I tried so damn hard. You all would have never heard about this if I could have helped it. Holy shit did I try.”

“It’s a good thing.” Dr. Mariah said.

“I know. Doesn’t make it any less aggravating… is that… gonna be Shuichi and I’s homework?” Kaito asked Dr. Mariah.

“If you’d like,” she said, nodding, “For being as tight-knit as this group is, you all do struggle to work through your grief together. It’s the relationship-martyrdom at work. And, as always, it’s distinctly unhelpful.”

“Yes, alright… that will be our homework then.” Shuichi agreed, looking to Kaito, “We’ll talk about it.”

“Talking things through is essential. Sitting in your feeling indefinitely just leads to further harm. Kaito, likely one of the reasons you feel like your crisis situations are happening ‘non-stop’ now is because you sat in them for so long. Just because you deny the trauma of your past, consciously or unconsciously, doesn’t mean it’s not having a very real, physical effect on both your body and mind. Just because you’re ignoring it does not mean that stress isn’t killing you. It has to be dealt with.”

“...and with that said?” Dr. Mariah said, looking between Maki and Kaito, “It’s far from the only thing, that this group hasn’t entirely been open about. Maki, Kaito… I think it’s time we discussed the effect Byakuya has had on both your lives, and your relationship to each other.”

With a little pat to his knee, Kokichi got up and returned to his seat (for real this time). He liked being by Kaito, and he knew his husband liked him next to him too, but that was the whole reason they had started sitting apart from the very beginning. Physical space begetting emotional space. And while Kokichi was more than happy to lend some comfort, Kaito needed his space to express himself, just as Kokichi did. 

Giving his partners a proud look--it wasn’t easy opening up, as evidenced by them discussing doing it now--Kokichi nodded a bit to the idea that stress still affected you even if you tried to ignore it, but all his small little looks and movements froze at the next topic Dr. Mariah brought up. 

…he knew that Byakuya had done something…awful to Maki, while she was working for him, and that’s what caused, for the most part, the beginning of the schism between them. And that everything he’d done to Kaito had just driven the wedge deeper, since Maki cared for Kaito. And, well, he’d just seen almost for the past year Kaito struggling with that hate between two people he loved. 

This…was going to be a hell of a conversation. 

No one seemed to be more aware of it, then Maki and Kaito. 

Maki’s expression hardened, some of that old, easy anger returning to her face. It was easy to forget, that not long ago that she had threatened murder over slight irritations and would regularly attack and cut Kaito over almost anything, a constant, muted anger in everything she did. Some of that had relaxed, in the few months she had returned from the war, but in this moment any sign of that relaxed temperament was gone. Her face tensing into that guardedness that had controlled her every movement, not that long ago.

Kaito looked physically sick. Like he’d quite like to vomit, and was half considering doing so, clutching at either end of his egg again as he hunched over slightly, staring at the ground and worrying his lower lip.

Neither of them wanted to talk about this, Dr. Mariah knew. Even if she couldn’t taste it, she could see it on them. But it had to be done. The blowup a moment ago suggested it was reaching a breaking point.

“...in truth, I don’t really know much about Byakuya, or his relationship to either of you.” Dr. Mariah confessed, “Kaito, this might surprise you to have me point out, but before you confessed to us about what the lessons of your youth were leading to, the only thing you’ve discussed about Byakuya himself is that he had an extreme reaction to your dating of the man Chad. Otherwise you talk very little about him… which is alarming. Because he is more than the person who struggled in lessons alongside you. He murdered the rest of your immediate family.”

Kaito winced, chewing on his inner lip some more.

“And Maki… you went to war with him. Admittedly, I don’t know as much about that as I’d like too. We’ve talked a great deal about how the war went, and what it meant to get your siblings back, and Kaede,” Dr. Mariah said, meaning in her and Maki’s one on one sessions, “But in terms of Byakuya himself? You speak of him with something like acid on your tongue. Kaito, I knew, expected you to ensure his execution, and the whole group was astounded you let him live… and while you are an assassin, you are not cruel. So I always thought that shock was odd. But less so, the more undeniable your hatred becomes.”

“To say this hasn’t had an affect on your relationship, the toll Byakuya has had on both your lives, is unfathomably unrealistic. It may even be one of the most important things you two share… so, let’s explore that.” Dr. Mariah said… before sighing a little. “...neither of you are going to volunteer, I see.”

“What do you want us to say?” Maki asked stiffly, heat starting to radiate off of her. Her eyes almost seeming to glow red in the reflecting light of the koi pond as she glared at Dr. Mariah, “You seem perfectly content to monologue at us.”

“Maki, you grew incredibly heated when Kaito suggested that Byakuya may have created distance between them to protect Kaito from Byakuya’s own worst impulses. That idea made you furious, to the point of lashing out at him. Why don’t you explain to us how you felt, in that moment.”

“Why don’t you tell us what the hell you are?” Maki asked stiffly. Eyes narrowing, “Because you’re not an empath.”

“...” Dr. Mariah considered Maki quietly. Knowing Maki was lashing out because she was uncomfortable and didn’t want to open up, hoping to intimidate Dr. Mariah into retreating. Five minutes and a tea beak would likely soothe the ex-assassin’s temper and move things forward…

“...I’m a demon of the caged God, Kytho.” Dr. Mariah said softly, “And I feed on, and can manipulate, painful emotions.”

Kokichi shuddered slightly, though it was more from his own efforts stifling himself that it was that slight amount. The emotions coming off of Kaito and Maki felt like sludge… Furious, painful agony and betrayal, burning hatred and a gut-wrenching sorrow… Kaito might’ve looked ready to vomit, and Kokichi was right behind him, just barely able to stabilize himself from the intense emotions around him with some careful, steady breathing. 

It really might not be a conversation the two of them could have yet, even if Dr. Mariah was right and it was something they needed to explore. But…Kokichi wasn’t sure how long it would be. And with Maki outright fighting Dr. Mariah on it…

Kokichi blinked wide, almost feeling like he needed to scramble and turn back time, ask Hiro for that memory favor and erase everything because this was a secret Dr. Mariah asked him to keep…

…but she was choosing to share it in good faith. 

Giving their therapist a gentle, empathizing look, Kokichi nodded slightly. “...so that’s that…forcefulness, then? A manipulation of painful emotions?”

“Indeed. It’s not that difficult to conceptualize, really. You all feel the physical effect emotions have on you every day, they’re as real and physical as, say, the hair on your head, or your fingernails, or the drool on your tongue–”

“Emotions release energy that you can absorb like plants who absorb sunlight feed.” Kaito suddenly interrupted, “Your bodies are more fine-tuned towards emotions that react to nerve ends in a painful way, causing emotions like stress and anger and grief. Being around someone who’s releasing body energy while experiencing those dangerous emotions nourishes you. And like with psychic energy, that energy moving through the air leaves a residue that you can influence and manipulate.”

“...” Dr. Mariah tipped her head slightly, giving Kaito a curious look, “...Essentially exactly right… how did you–”

“I’ve been paying attention.” Kaito muttered, brow furrowed, “I’m not stupid. There’s a logic to all of this, and it would make sense if one species or whatever can do one thing, something like them would be affected in a similar way. You just gotta… think about it.” Kaito shrugged.

“I see… I imagine you have questions, though.” Dr. Mariah said. Expression gentle, “And while I’d prefer to get back to the discussion, I can understand if–”

“Look, I’m not gonna do it, okay?” Kaito frowned, looking genuinely frustrated as he somewhat glared at her, “What? A demon shows up, and what? Kaito’s gonna have a bunch of paranoid objections and freakouts? Like I didn’t already learn that demon species is different from the type of demons we grew up learning about, or haven’t learned that my husband is a magic person, and my daughter is an entirely different species, or that there’s all kinds of magic and weirdness in the world, including me. So… what?”

“You don’t have to feel defensive, Kaito.” Dr. Mariah said gently, “You are correct, I was expecting more hostility about my nature, from you. And it’s admirable that you’re accepting of the new nature of your reality, enough to handle revelations like this… that said. I will answer questions you have in the future, about said nature. I don’t mind. So, if everyone feels comfortable returning to our discussion? Shuichi?”

Shuichi’s eyes were dazzled as he admitted, “I may have questions later. But for now, yes. Therapy takes priority.”

“...um…” Maki looked away. Looking a little flustered, not having expected Dr. Mariah to tell them anything at all, and feeling a little embarrassed at her tantrum now, “...thank you.”

“I don’t refuse to discuss myself to hide from you all, Maki. I do it because these sessions are about you, for your benefit. I am only meant to aid you.” Dr. Mariah explained, “Now… may I ask?”

“...Byakuya is one of the most selfish people I know.” Maki whispered, “And I say that as someone who… believed in him, once.”

“When Byakuya talks, he talks about the good of the kingdom. And those talks… they don’t always end with him in charge.” Maki explained, some of the tension easing out of her as she started to talk, “He used to talk to me about… making an empire. He wanted to make a new system of government that would last longer then the oligarch did. Longer than he thought the monarch would. He said the end of the Momota reign was inevitable, that each king and queen had made the kingdom a little worse in their reign, and that King Leon and the business with Haji was just another example of how quickly it would all fall apart.”

Kaito laughed slightly. Giving Maki a tired smile as he said, “He would tell me about that too… sort of.” Kaito admitted, his eyes flicking down to his knees again, “He’d say it around me, anyway. He and Kaede would talk about it sometimes, during our tutoring sessions. I’d listen in. They never seemed to mind.”

Something frustrated ran through Maki’s face at that, as she scoffed, “He wasn’t ‘protective’ of you, Kaito, he was possessive. That’s how he was about everything. Maybe he did want good things, in some sense, for people, for his kingdom, and for you… but it always came from a place of ownership. Someone taking good care of his things. Even when I believed in him, I hated how he talked about you. He didn’t talk about you like someone he lusted after and wanted to keep safe. He talked about you like you were some animal that’d run off if he loosened the leash.”

“...Maki…”

“Don’t, Kaito. Your brother was a monster, and I’m tired of hearing you defend a man who has never even offered you basic respect. Who never respected anyone or anything outside of himself. He wanted to create a new system because he decided he was so much smarter than everyone else, and wanted to leave behind a legacy that would last a ‘thousand years’.” Maki quoted, rolling her eyes, “A stable Luminary who bowed to no one… tsk. I got… so caught up in it. It all sounded brilliant, to me. Finally, a leader who could see outside of himself and work for the greater good…”

“But there was nothing good about him.” Maki scowled, heat radiating off her again, her hair shimmer in the waves, “He was a selfish, self-entitled, self-important fucking nightmare.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a moderately shocked look. Yeah, he had worried at times about Kaito’s perception of demons, but they had talked about how demons, as Kokichi knew of them in the magical community, and demons as they were depicted in the Atuan faith were entirely different, and…that had seemed okay. And while Kaito could be goofy and stubborn, and he honestly just was terrible at remembering people sometimes…he wasn’t dumb. 

Mostly…Kokichi just struggled himself with conceptualizing how oni were, and hearing Kaito so concisely explain it…

Mind blowing. That made a lot of sense. He felt a little bad that Kaito felt so defensive, but…man. When they were done with this, and emotions weren’t quite as raw, Kokichi was gonna thank him quite a bit for that explanation. 

But they did have a topic at hand, and one that required full attention. 

Byakuya’s plans for Luminary… All those months ago, when Kokichi had told Kaito about how he and his brother could actually talk about policy, Kokichi hadn’t been lying. Byakuya had a sharp mind and was willing to think outside the box, to contemplate new ideas not just on optimism or faith, but cutting up bits and pieces of everything the past had taught them and arranging it all into something new. A lot of Byakuya’s methods for getting there, Kokichi disagreed with, but his end-goal ideas? Some of them were genuinely innovative and good, in Kokichi’s eyes. 

If he hadn’t been willing to sacrifices the lives of his people to get there, Kokichi had thought he could be a good king for Luminary. 

But, as Maki explained, his driving force for all that wasn’t altruism, or some intellectual lust for progress. It was possession. Ego driven, even if Byakuya wasn’t so delusional to think he would forever be on the apex--the idea of having been the one to start it, to plan it, was enough. 

…and, well, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Kokichi felt a certain amount of possessiveness towards Dicea, especially since learning he had a sort of destiny in maintaining it…and, realizing retroactively that it was like that to the point powerful and ancient beings referred to him as his country too was… He couldn’t completely ignore his own ego there. 

But the way Byakuya let that possessiveness consume him, how he let it inform the way he treated and thought about others… It was the thing that allowed him to think about the lives of his people as a resource. To disregard the ambitions and ideas of others as, maybe novel, but ultimately lesser than his. To…treat the people around him like belongings. 

And that’s what made him a nightmare. 

And yet…

Kokichi looked over to Kaito, trying to see how he was processing Maki’s side.

Kaito gripped his hands together, gritting his teeth. “...so… what?”

Something seemed to shift in Kaito, as he said that. There was a sort of mania in his gaze, as he looked up, staring at Maki from where his bangs partially covered one of his eyes. Something square and rigid in his shoulders, as he squared his teeth at her, snarling, “So he was self-important. So what? Kaede isn’t? I’m not? Fuck, Maki, if doing good things for self–interested reasons are monstrous, then fucking slice me down already, because I think we’ve all well established that I am a selfish piece of shit. It’s a fucking Momota trait.”

Maki narrowed her eyes, “You are not the same.”

“Why not!? Apparently in another life I was.” Kaito snarled, still gritting his teeth. His eyes intense, focused and enraged, his whole body trembling in frustration, as he said, “Apparently I was destined to be like that. Without the other two failures in my head? It wasn’t going to be Byakuya or Kaede or, heh, my father… it was going to be me. Maki. You and me. We were going to be the self-important assholes who burnt down my kingdom deciding that we couldn’t wait–”

“You’re not the daydream, Kaito.” Maki whispered. “No more than I’m a dragon.”

“Well you’re still the person I was apparently going to rule with! It was all just waiting on who you would pick! You got to decide!” Kaito shouted at her, leaning forward like he wanted to bolt out of his egg and run at her, “Byakuya was intelligent, and maybe he wanted to make a legacy, sure, but in case you didn’t notice, Luminary’s a mess and maybe he really could have made it better, only you decided you didn’t like him! And that you were willing to kill me over it. Remember that little nugget!? You betrayed me, all to pick one selfish Momota over another! You betrayed me!”

“How dare you.” Maki seethed. Standing up from her egg and moving around the koi pond, her gaze fixated on Kaito, heat burning off her like a fire as she said, “I risked everything for you. I gave so much, for your happiness.”

“Oh, fuck, take out a dagger, I’m begging for an excuse.” Kaito growled, though he notably remained seated as Maki stood in front of him, glowering down at him, “I loved you and you still–”

Maki’s eyes widened slightly. Something hurt running over her face. “Loved?”

“...” Kaito’s brows furrowed, frowning, “No. Not like that. Not past tense like I don’t anymore. I still love you Maki… I just mean in the sense of like… I just can’t believe after everything we’ve been through together, your hatred of Byakuya would matter more to you than your relationship to me.”

“...” Some of the air seemed to let out of Maki, as she stared at him, “Kaito, he wanted to extend the indentured program. He wanted to sell us overseas.”

“.....we could have talked to him, we could have–”

“Kaito, please.” Maki said. Her hands clenching into fists, but her face now… vulnerable. Looking near panicked as she reached over and placed her hands on both sides of the egg, boxing him in. Her desperation his whole world as she became a wall in front of him, begging him, “Please. Stop doing this and think about it. You’ve been willing to see how you’re wrong when Kokichi so much as sniffles, and Shuichi can openly antagonize you and you’ll just grin through it… Kaito, please. I need you. Please think about me.”

Kaito’s eyes widened, leaning back a little. Something genuinely horrified on his face, as Maki’s eyes started to well up with tears. Looking down at him, hurt radiating off her as she said, “You’re constantly begging us to consider you. To love you. Love means putting that person first, even when it hurts you, right? Kaito… please. Please. Consider me. Byakuya has… hurt me so much. Please…”

Maki’s face twisted, as she whispered to him, “Why won’t you ever pick me over him? Why do you love him more than me? What do I have to do to compete? He gives you nothing and I’ve given everything… what else can I do?”

At her egg, Dr. Mariah frowned. This felt… a bit manipulative. Guilt-tripping. But, she also knew that what Maki was talking about was Kaito’s concepts of love. That love meant picking the other person, even over your own desires. And while pointing out the contradictions in Kaito’s actions of love and his reassurance to her was still manipulative… all Maki was asking him was to consider what she was saying to him. To see her perspective without his first impulse being to defend his brother, like he would do for either of his partners if they told him someone was harming them.

Dr. Mariah would keep an eye on it, but she decided to remain quiet.

Kaito in turn, frowned at Maki’s tears. Reaching up and brushing this thumb under her eye, almost like he needed to touch the tears to believe they were real… before running his hands up her arms and taking her hands. Holding them as he stared at her.

“...you always gave me the impression it was some sort of event.” Kaito murmured to her. Placing a small kiss on the side of her hand, wordlessly trying to apologize for making her cry, “I noticed. You thought Byakuya was amazing for a long time, and then one day you hated him, and he stopped talking to you… it just got worse as time went on… I know the indentured program expanding is bad. I know…we probably couldn’t have talked him out of it. I know Byakuya was cruel and self-interested and that he likely hadn’t treated you any better than he treated any of us… but what actually happened, Maki? I can’t help but feel like any of that you could have lived with, if only because you thought you could make him change his mind when the time came. You did that with Kaede. You’re a force of nature like that…”

“So what happened?” Kaito whispered, kissing at her hands some more, giving her a tired look, “...why is Byakuya my enemy?”

Maki’s face was still pinched with tears. Frustration radiating off of her, hating her own tears. Struggling to catch her breath through her tears. She was a shockingly messy crier. Her whole face was a burnt bright red, and snot was coating down her nose and over her upper lip. Her lower lip kept shuddering, Maki trying to hold her breath through the crying to quiet the loud, stammering gasps. Clutching at Kaito’s hands, as she almost looked as young as she used to try to dress, as she struggled to catch her breath enough to get words out.

“H-he– sniff– I h-had one thing I h-had never done, a-and I wanted t-to never do, a-and I c-confided in him a-and– hrgm– s-saying it was th-the one thing people c-couldn’t seem to s-stomach…”

Kaito’s eyes widened for a second, genuinely shocked… before his vision narrowed and he gripped her hands tight, “That’s not your fault.”

“I KNOW!” Maki shouted, snot and tears flicking off of her messily, glaring at Kaito, “It’s HIS! H-he decided that I-if his r-reputation got that terrible, no one w-would risk going directly against him! I argued. I tried to say no! A-and he still–”

Maki couldn’t finish it. A shudder running through her whole chest, another loud, noisy sob ripping through her, as she wetly gurgled after a moment, clutching onto his hands like they were lifelines, “I could have told you anytime, I could have told you that night, b-but it hurt you so badly. H-having to talk a-around everything… what would it s-solve? What could I do… so I kept it to myself and it ate away at me. I still see them in my head… and th-then you could start speaking about Byakuya? D-disagreeing with things he did? And Kaito…”

She forced her red-rimmed eyes open, glaring at him. “It’s been agony watching you still defend him. He’s not like you, or like me, or like Kaede, or like anyone. H-he’s a sociopath who doesn’t care, wh-who’d murder children to p-prove a POINT. He killed your parents and ordered you not to grieve. He made me think he loved me and then took away the ONE thing I admitted to being grateful I had never done, and then treated me like a tool when I grew angry! He’s not a smart man with hard ideas and a selfish nature. He’s a megalomaniac and I wish I had killed him!”

“...and I only didn’t because I love you.” Maki whispered, glaring at him, “I left the world worse off, then it had been… I could have made it better. It would have been better if I had committed to killing him… but I love you. And I wanted to see you again. And I risked everything for that choice. And you won’t even consider me. How dare you.”

Maki collapsed to her knees. Still gripping Kaito’s hands, her body hunched over and hair falling over her face, as she said, “I hate the part of you that loves him. I hate it. It’s so cruel, Kaito… how can you love someone who’s hurt me so much? How can you defend my greatest enemy? I thought you loved me…”

Kaito stared at her. A little overwhelmed, a little lost… but something stern came over his face. Gripping her hands tightly, as he whispered, “Maki, I don’t like seeing you on your knees. Come here, come here…”

It was that very difference. Being selfish and possessive wasn’t the problem. For a while Kokichi hadn’t been able to see that, and had dismissed and punished his husband’s love, and…that had been wrong of him. Because it was perfectly fine if someone was selfish or self-absorbed--what mattered was how they interacted with people because of that. 

Kaito was selfish, and he would fight the entire world for what was his, creating an entire creed of double-standards based on that distinction. What was his was precious to him, and deserved love and respect, and, yeah, sometimes his wishes of spoiling could get a little dehumanizing…but he could recognize that as an act of harm, and change his behavior, because the last thing he wanted were the things that were his to be harmed. 

Byakuya…didn’t want possessions. Or, he did, and took care of them, for the ultimate goal of being lauded. For having what others didn’t, and thus being put in a separate category from them himself, above all others. If a possession didn’t help that goal, then he threw it away. The possession itself didn’t matter. 

Kaede…

…Kokichi didn’t know. There was a possibility she was the same as Byakuya, just wanting to be lauded with love, rather than fear, or…she could actually not be selfish, and rather just self-absorbed. Having noble goals with ignoble means to reach them, all wrapped up in a pretty-looking presentation. He didn’t know, and…honestly, Kokichi didn’t care to find out. As long as she didn’t try to hurt what was his again…it wasn’t his job to care. 

But that wasn’t exactly the crux of the argument, as Kaito and Maki barrelled by, and while they shouted and Maki fronted, Kokichi looked on in concern, but…

A hand quickly went to cover his mouth, a gasp involuntarily leaving him. 

Like Kaito pleaded, Kokichi had gotten the impression of an event too, and Maki had even told him once that she never told Kaito what it was, not wanting to hurt him through his relationship with Byakuya even more, but…

Kokichi wasn’t a telepath so he wasn’t actually seeing the memories that Maki’s anguish brought to the forefront. But…debatably, what he was experiencing was worse. Not the events, as perceived from Maki’s point of view, but Maki’s version of that event. What it felt like to her, the emotions inextricably linked with the memories. 

A horror that, all at once, made Kokichi feel frozen and numbed, before a blaze of madness sent his nerves ping-ponging from the two extremes, bile rising in his throat. 

Byakuya was a child murderer. More than through policy or uncaring ideals… He was directly a child murderer. 

And…honestly? Maki had told him before that she never told Kaito because it would ruin his relationship with Byakuya immediately. And…stuck in the wave of that knowledge and those feelings now…Kokichi wasn’t sure why Kaito wasn’t halfway to Novoselic this instant.

Kaito couldn’t quite get Maki into his lap. He tried, but she wasn’t exactly leaning into it, still just rag-dolling, her body bent in her sobbing. Something broken inside of her, literally begging Kaito to… stop putting her last. Putting her behind Kokichi, and Shuichi, and the children, and worst of all, a man who had hurt and abused her. To stop putting someone he claimed to love dearly behind the needs of literally everyone else in Kaito’s life.

Maki was the first person outside of his family Kaito had ever loved. 

And in that moment, Kaito realized that a part of him had been taking that for granted.

As she settled on sitting on the cushion of the egg between Kaito’s legs, letting him rub her back and hold her as she buried her face in one hand, clutching at her skull like she might literally fall apart  between her ears if she didn’t, Kaito realized that Maki had been such a steady and constant presence in his life for so long that he really hadn’t thought anything could permanently risk it. He had asked her to come to Dicea after years of a will they/won’t they balancing act, to watch him get married away, and had thought it was obvious when she agreed. When she had left for the war, he had thought maybe she’d stay away simply to not force him to kill her, and yet a part of him hadn’t been surprised to see her when she returned to literally risk exactly that. When Kaito had taken on the task of actually adopting a child, he had never even really asked if she wanted to do it with him. He had just assumed she’d be up to it. And she had been.

Maki was always, even when they were at their most viscous feuding, someone he could rely on, and even if emotionally he may have had doubts… in his actions? He had always counted on her. Every time. Up to and including not telling Byakuya when Maki had gone to fight him. 

He always counted on Maki picking him.

“...I’ve been cruel.” Kaito realized, rubbing her back, “I haven’t treated you the way I expect you to treat me. You’ve never let me down… not when it counted. You kept secrets, sure… but when it counted… you’ve never let me down…”

“And I let you down all the time.” Kaito whispered, holding her closer. Resting his head on the back of her neck, as her sobs quieted a little. “I praise a man who’s hurt you repeatedly, and scream at you for being hurt. Fuck… how can you stand me? I’ve hurt you so badly…”

“Y-you couldn’t t-talk about it–”

“Hey.” Kaito said sternly, grabbing Maki’s shoulder and pushing her up slightly, staring her firmly in the eye, “Don’t backtrack on me, don’t let me off the hook. You’ve been holding this in for a year at least, and that’s just when I could actually talk about things. I’m your best friend, you should have been able to talk to me about all of this before now… you shouldn’t have had to listen to me praise your abuser. That’s not what we fucking are. I love you. Your enemies are my enemies.”

Reaching up to rub his thumb under her eyes again, brushing away some of the tears, he murmured, “But I made you have to prove it to me… it should have been enough for me to see how hurt you were. It’s not like I didn’t notice. I knew something had happened, I just… I’m sorry I made you have to prove it, before I accepted that whatever it was really was worth your hatred. My Maki isn’t unreasonable or cruel. You don’t just kill people because you feel like it. You keep getting put into these impossible situations, and then baring the brunt of everyone blaming you for it. My Maki’s so strong, and I forgot that… I dismissed it as not being a big deal, whatever it was. I gave Byakuya the benefit of the doubt…”

“I was cruel to do that.” Kaito whispered, “I should have picked you over him. I should have trusted you. My Maki doesn’t hate people for no reason. I should have considered you….. I’m so sorry, Maki-roll. I’m so sorry I did this to you.”

Kaito rubbed a few more tears out of Maki’s eyes, staring at her. Memorizing her grief and desperation and horror and burning it into his mind… before growling, “Fuck him. He’s no brother of mine. I disown him. I swear it on Maki Harukawa.”

Shuichi’s eyes widened at that. Having been quietly watching this all unfold. None of this had been news to him. Maki didn’t keep secrets from him, he had known about the children. How it had hurt her. Like her, he had guessed that knowing this would irreparably damage how Kaito had seen Byakuya… but like her, he had suspected it would just make Kaito’s praising of him more self-hating. More damaging. Kaito unable to stop, knowing what exactly he was saying, and hating himself for it.

This… was not that.

“...he has family.” Shuichi carefully reminded Kaito.

“And they’re mine, and nothing he can say will stop that.” Kaito agreed easily, almost dismissively, “They shouldn’t be punished for what he did. But him?”

Kaito frowned. Rage boiling in his stomach, as he growled, “I can forgive what he did to me… but how dare he hurt you. You’re mine.”

Somehow Kokichi had managed to fight down the nausea, but what came after could only be called better by the fact that it was cleaner. The sorrow wracking Maki’s form was clear to them all, but Kokichi felt every one of her sobs echoed in his chest, slower tears welling in his eyes that, by this point, he didn’t try to wipe away. 

He had often thought that, at times, his family’s lives in Luminary sounded like a nightmare, but somehow there was always something new and even more horrifying to hear about. Living with a person you loved more than anything, and seeing him disregard you over and over, when you knew that was his definition of love…

Kokichi couldn’t blame Kaito for the years in Luminary, and even if Kaito had interrupted her, it didn’t seem like Maki did either. It was just something he was unable to process, and that wasn’t his fault. 

…but it had been a lot of months since Kaito’s conditioning had started to break down, and many months since he had started not just being able, but choosing to criticize his family. And even if Kaito hadn’t known the whole story…

Kokichi sniffled, glancing to Dr. Mariah. There was a lot to surmise from the context clues, here. But Kokichi only knew more because he could feel Maki’s anguish. To an outsider…nothing they had said really explained what had happened. But Kaito knew exactly what Maki was talking about, and if he knew that much…

…and what else? What about everything else? All the other blatant abuse and clear resentment and pain Shuuichi and Maki had shown Kokichi over the past year, had that all been brushed away, waiting for a revelation like this too?

…what would pointing that out accomplish? Maki was already hurting, and getting the apology and promise she was long-due for. Pointing out all the other times Kaito should’ve given her them would just be punishing both of them. Maybe it’d be helpful later, for Shuuichi to get his, but…

…and what? Just so Kokichi could yell at his husband for a little bit? He didn’t want that. 

Kokichi sniffled more loudly than he meant to, finally wiping his tears, though they didn’t end. Not with Maki’s still going. 

This…wasn’t about his own justice. It was about her pain. And he wasn’t about to take her recovery from her.

If Maki was recovering, it wasn’t obvious. She looked haggard and beaten down, and while the exhaustion on her face could be the sort of ‘peaceful’ feeling after a truly aggressive crying session, it mostly just looked like she had been beaten. Her face red and messy, bags under her eyes suggesting she had been hit in the face. Her heaving cries having wrecked her in a truly physical way.

And she stared at Kaito with still wet, rolling tears, an exhausted indifference on her face… before saying simply, “You won’t.”

Kaito’s face tensed at that, a brief rush of anger running through those intense magenta eyes… before he went back to rubbing Maki’s back, wrapping his arm around her waist and leaning against her some more, since he couldn’t convince her to lean against him. “I will.”

“You never have. It doesn’t matter how horrible he is, you never–”

“I’ll prove it to you, Maki.” Kaito promised, closing his eyes and resting his head against hers, a frustrated, tense look on his face, “I don’t know how yet. I have to think about it… but it’s not a quiet, secret thing, okay? It’s not something just for you. I’ll prove I choose you over him. Just give me time.”

Maki scoffed, and Kaito’s brows furrowed more to hear it, but he didn’t relinquish his hold. His Maki doubted him, and Kaito couldn’t blame her. He had let her down. More than once. This whole year, and likely longer than that, had been Kaito taking Maki’s devotion for granted. Even when he had known that Maki had picked him over her revenge against Byakuya, he really hadn’t paid it the respect and gratitude it had deserved, too caught up in his own mess of hurt feelings to honor her. And Maki had never relented. Angry with him, no doubt, disappointed, no doubt, but she had never relented in her devotion. Kaito owed her so much more than he had ever given.

But as the two fell into silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts on the circumstance– Kaito trying to think of ways he could prove himself to Maki, Maki taking his vow to disown Byakuya with a heavy grain of salt– Dr. Mariah sighed. “Kaito, I know this is how you give comfort. But Maki deserves a little emotional space, for this…”

Kaito blinked at the small woman, before reluctantly pulling his arm away from Maki’s waist, letting Maki escape him as Maki stood up. Looking tiredly back at Kaito, Kaito reaching over to grab her hand again, squeezing it with a look of longing on his face, already wanting her back so that he could try to smother the pain on her with more affection, wanting so badly to hold her more… but letting go as she pulled away, heading back to her egg. Kaito’s lap feeling cold and too weightless, as he looked around at the group. Noticing now that Kokichi was crying in his own seat, and Shuichi looked wary and more than a little worried, his fiance’s eyes tracing Maki’s movements. 

“...I’m sorry.” Kaito winced, the weight of it all really laying itself on his shoulders as he realized, “I’ve let you all down.”

Maybe it was a talk for later, when Kokichi’s ‘work-mode’ wouldn’t just feel out of place. But, well…Kaito could legally disown his brother, even if Byakuya wasn’t a Dicean citizen. There were actions he could take and very real legal repercussions he could put in place that would make his vow to Maki something more than words. He knew his friends didn’t place a lot of value in a lot of Dicean things, but…it was still an action. And he knew that they did respect the law at least a little. 

Letting out a shuddering breath, Kokichi wiped his face again, looking over Maki’s return to her seat with concern…before his gaze went back to Kaito. Something genuinely disappointed in it. 

This wasn’t something Kokichi would leave Kaito over--unhealthy or not, Kokichi just…didn’t have it in him for that. And considering the realities of their life, he didn’t even want to spend some time apart. Kokichi wasn’t even considering postponing their wedding. 

But he was disappointed. And it felt like a molding, husky bitterness all the way to his core. 

Giving an incredibly gross, wet sniffle, Kokichi leveled his hurt, disappointed gaze on Kaito. “...I only really get it, since I got Maki-chan’s feelings…but how much did you know? You two didn’t…really explain anything in words.”

Again, Dr. Mariah watched carefully. There were some arguments, heated or not, that she had to let them get into without strict guidance… but if she offered too little guidance, it could dissolve less into helpful communication and more into the sort of arguments that either built resentment or broke down communication. 

But, this was the type of conversation that they had been avoiding for quite some time, and while it was highly charged– as most crisis conversations were– if she overstepped, it might take several more months of therapy to get them into a headspace where they’d be willing to try again. So she kept quiet and watched carefully, as Kaito gave Kokichi a briefly confused look.

…before his expression paled a little.

“...” Kaito looked away. Twisting his fingers in his grip, now just straight up chewing on his lower lip. Not sure what to say. He glanced at Maki and Shuichi, but he honestly didn’t really see them even as he looked at them, too lost in trying to figure out what to say next. 

“......there were…” Kaito released his lower lip, running his tongue briefly over it to soothe the raw skin, before continuing, “rumors.”

“This is going to sound wrong to you Kokichi,” Shuichi decided to clarify, wishing he was wearing his hat right now– everyone had been in a good mood this morning, and he hadn’t felt the need for it today– as he looked to his fiance. “But murder is illegal in Luminary.”

Kaito grinned, and it looked crooked and disjointed on his face, as he chuckled warily, “Oh, yeah, I guess that… does sound wrong, doesn’t it. It’s… it’s all so natural when you’re in the middle of it, but explaining it to someone else…”

“One of the reasons assassins are so revered is because they add a level of anonymity.” Shuichi explained. “Reasonable deniability. Even if everyone can reasonably guess what happened, legally, socially, there has to be a level of deniability. Doubt. People don’t claim responsibility for the deaths, not openly, and so long as they don’t, blood feuds aren’t expected and don’t have to be honored. And even people who want to follow through on blood feuds usually still don’t want their vengeance to be legally recognized, because publicly acknowledging what you’re doing puts both you and yours at risk of vengeance on their end. It becomes a deadly cycle. Not publicly acknowledging who did what protects friends and family from getting dragged into the fights. Targeting an enemies family is considered… especially heinous.” Shuichi continued, looking to Kaito, who paled more, “Their children a particularly special type of evil. It just isn’t done, no matter how bad a blood feud gets. It’s considered reprehensible.”

“Captain Kylar’s family got… food poisoning.” Kaito murmured, looked over to Maki briefly, before looking away. “...it was a tragedy… and there were rumors… b-but there was always some new rumor, people just wanting to spread shit about Momota’s, and he could be ruthless but he’d nev–”

Kaito stopped, biting at the base knuckle of his thumb. Chewing on it, a bead of sweat running down his hairline as he looked over at Maki, who already looked resigned.

“...But… but the second Maki said he made her do something she couldn’t let go of, even now? It was the first thing that came to mind. That rumor.” Kaito said, chewing on the base of his thumb more… before pulling his hand away from himself. Trying to stop his fussing as he clenched his hands together, staring at Maki as he said, “But he did do that. Maki would have corrected me if I guessed wrong. He killed that family.”

“He did it to prove something to the guardforce.” Maki recalled dryly. Staring at the koifish pond, her gaze empty and far away, “The Captain wasn’t quite a revolutionary, but he was edging there. And he was well loved and respected… if he turned, he’d have taken most of the guardforce in the capital with him. Byakuya wanted to make an example out of him, make them too scared to speak against the Momota family. Proving his own ruthlessness at the same time, to intimidate potential conspirators. I told him killing a kid was more than proving a ‘point’...”

“...I listened to him tell me a story about frogs as he died.” Maki whispered. Her gaze far away, “I think he knew something was wrong, near the end. I held his hand. He asked to see his mom, and I told him I was going to fetch her in just a moment. He thought I was a healer his mom had sent him. I tried not to scare him. I didn’t want him to die afraid… he was so small…”

Kaito’s stomach squeezed in horror, his eyes dropping to his hands as he paled more. He had only ever heard the rumor of the captain’s family. Food poisoning. Tragic, but these things happened, what could you do… Kaito had heard the rumors, and worse than that, he had seen how Byakuya reacted to the rumors. A near smug indifference. Kaito remembered wishing Byakuya would at least try harder to deny them. Get more offended. His brot… Byakuya reacting to the rumors wrong. Kaito doing his best to not think about any of it.

Maki was not his families only assassin. It had never occurred to Kaito to worry it had been her. In hindsight, the timing was obvious. But Kaito hadn’t wanted to see it.

“...oh Maki.” Kaito whispered. Eyes pinpricks, more sweat on his hairline, “I’m so sorry.”

…that sounded like bullshit to Kokichi. Murder wasn’t illegal…it was just reserved for the rich and clever to get away with it. To force desperate people into situations with no protections, and everyone just had to go along and pretend. There was so much expected aggression in Luminary, but it was like any actual power from it was abhorred and kept under wraps, only available to those who already had enough power to not need it. 

Kokichi really did try to stop nitpicking at Luminous policy, but…some days he really did just want to rip it all apart. Let them be horrified by his Dicean sensibilities, just to instate some accountability for once. 

Closing his eyes, the nausea returned as Maki explained…it. She was distancing herself emotionally, so the bleed over to him wasn’t as visceral as it had been, but…there was only so far she could go. 

…but even if there had been enough clues to see it…there was still enough of that damned deniability that Kaito could leave the pieces and not put it together. Kokichi couldn’t blame him for that, and even in the past year…he couldn’t blame Kaito for not going through his whole life page by page to see all of the horrifying things he’d covered his eyes to. They already had more than enough trauma to deal with. 

“...I’m gonna throw up,” Kokichi said softly, blunt and yet like a revelation. He scooted out of his chair, heading for the roof door. “...please excuse me.”

“Fuck.” Kaito whispered, resting against his knees as he rubbed his palms into his forehead, “Dammit.”

“It was something you all need to talk about.” Dr. Mariah gently reminded them, as they watched Kokichi go… and she didn’t stop him when Shuichi stood up, following him. Just wanting to be certain he was alright. “I know how painful this is. But it’s necessary. You all, especially particularly you two, Maki and Kaito, share someone who has hurt you badly, throughout your lives. And Kaito, I entirely understand your desire to want to rationalize his hurt away. To want to make excuses for him, to want to make him another victim trapped in an impossible situation. This was someone who, in his own way, was there for you during an exceptionally difficult period of your life. Wanting to focus on the positives and diminish the negatives could not only be something you need for comfort, but can also feel like a duty you are responsible for. I understand.”

“But.” Dr. Mariah said, looking to Maki, “Byakuya, for the horrors he went through, was not in the same position as you were, and indeed, was more than willing to harm people whose situations were much more similar to yours. And Maki, hearing your loved one defend a man who committed such an atrocity to you… I know Luminary’s standards for violence are much higher than in many parts of the world. An assassins standard for violence much higher than any other type of person in the world. We’ve discussed before that you don’t have the emotional capacity to retroactively feel horror for everything you were forced to do, in order to conform to your new environment, and I still stand by that… but someone forcing you to step beyond the few boundaries both you and your society had? For the horrors of violence? It is not hypocrisy, for you to grieve that. For you to insist that this was the step too far, that this traumatized you where others didn’t. Byakuya harmed you in a deeply meaningful way to someone in your position, and hiding that pain from Kaito to spare him his feelings on an abuser you share is a disservice to both of you.”

“And in truth? I blame neither of you, for not being able to communicate the horror you shared.” Dr. Mariah said softly, looking between them, “The settings and types of abuse were so radically different, for your two positions. Maybe it seemed to both of you that the other couldn’t possibly relate to what you had gone through… but the person who hurt you both was the same. And you two are invaluable resources to each other, for finding ways to explore and cope with the things he did.”

As above, Dr. Mariah continued to reassure Maki and Kaito that they ultimately had an ally in each other, both victims of Byakuya’s cruel nature, Shuichi went downstairs. Heading in the direction he knew where the bathroom was, and sighing as, indeed, he heard little retching sounds.

He leaned on the wall next to the door, listening to the retching for a moment. “...I suppose I could offer to get you water, Kokichi.” Shuichi said softly. Staring blankly at the wall opposite, “If that would help.”

Kokichi coughed into the bowl, shuddering slightly as he felt the grit of vomit on his teeth. He hadn’t thrown up much, and he could still feel his stomach revolting, but…well, at least he wasn’t making a mess here. 

Trying to catch his breath between heaves, Kokichi gasped shallowly before he nodded. “...y-yes, please…”

When Shuuichi returned, Kokichi could only shake his head over the bowl, eyes stinging with a new wave of tears. “...sorry… I know… Maki-chan deserves… This isn’t about me. But I couldn’t…”

Shuichi shrugged, passing Kokichi the water, before leaning against the wall again, “Somehow I doubt they’ve stopped talking, just because we left. It’s ultimately between Maki and Kaito. I doubt they really need us to be a horrified audience to their pain.”

Resting his head against the back of the wall, Shuichi considered things quietly… before sliding down. Sitting against the wall of the bathroom, content to just stay there for now, as he mused, “Sometimes that’s what these therapy sessions feel like. Like I’m just in audience to all of your pain… it’s been a long time, since I’ve seen Maki cry like that.”

Looking down at Kokichi, Shuichi frowned lightly, “... it’s been some time since I’ve seen you cry like that too, thinking about it.”

That was true…but he still felt like he was doing her a disservice. But maybe that, too, was being a little too self-centered. As long as Maki and Kaito could start working things out, and Maki felt like she was supported, listened to and considered, then…that’s what mattered. Not any rules of propriety that only mattered to other people. 

Sniffling, Kokichi coughed, spitting some mucus into the toilet. “...she told me about her nightmares, once. To relate to mine. We understood each other then, but…I never wanted to understand this much.”

“...I do think empathy is important, f-for being there for someone. A direction for compassion… That’s…that’s why it feels important for us to be there, when we talk about pain like this…”

Kokichi choked on a sob. “...I-I think I understand your feelings more, when you used to say y-you wanted to burn Luminary to the ground.”

“Mmm.” Shuichi hummed, nodding. Unsurprised. 

He sat there for a moment, listening to Kokichi’s choked sob. His cool, gray eyes– the gold could only be seen in the sunlight, and the pink only at certain angles of the sun– watching Kokichi sadly. Kokichi sobbing over the brim of the toilet, his own face messy and leaking from every orifice. 

“...I suppose I can’t really imagine.” Shuichi admitted, closing his eyes. Wrapping his arms around himself a little, mildly surprised to find his own hands were trembling. Hm. “I recall that night. Maki was sincere, in that she could have told Kaito that night. We all hung out that night. We hadn’t even known she had just come back from a mission. We just knew she seemed distant.”

“Maki wanted to get drunk, and Kaito was always okay with indulging in that whenever one of us had the desire. Usually Maki gets argumentative when she’s drunk, but she was just quiet. We both knew something was wrong, but…” Shuichi shrugged, “When someone doesn’t feel like talking, you can only try to dig so long. And eventually Kaito tried to fix it by making the atmosphere more happy. Jaunty. Bringing in nearby groups to chat with us. I remember noticing him focusing on a group of friendly, pretty women. I think he was hoping to distract her from her bad mood by playing wingman.”

“Nothing helped… of course.” Shuichi mused. “And it got late. We were all pretty drunk, and instead of walking back to the castle Kaito reserved a room for us to sleep it off in the upstairs rental rooms. I remember him drunkenly kissing Maki and telling her how amazing she was, and her just letting him, and eventually he passed out between us…”

Shuichi opened his eyes, “And as soon as he fell asleep, she started to cry.”

“She told me what had happened. I remember watching her hug him like a teddy bear. She’d lean against me and tell me everything she did to the family, and Kaito was just mindlessly holding her in his sleep, laid out across our laps, and I remember… resenting that he could sleep through it. Watching our Maki’s heart break. Watching something like this hurt her. I remember wanting to wake him up and force him to do something. To comfort her. To handle Byakuya. I remember just how… helpless I had felt. And resenting Kaito for not waking up to save us.”

“...listening to her tell the story again, I realize a part of me still resented him for getting to sleep through it the first time, all those years ago. A part of me is glad about how horrible it clearly was, to hear all of that.” Shuichi confessed, “I’m sorry you got caught up in it. But I’m glad she broke down on him. Maybe it wasn’t his fault, but we needed him to hear all of this a long time ago. It’s… about time.”

With one last sputter, Kokichi leaned back and wiped his face with some toilet paper. He rinsed his mouth, spat it in the bowl, and flushed the thing away. Not a hassle, barely a thing at all. Left to the past in a few seconds, except for how tender his stomach would probably be for the rest of the day. 

And, scooting to sit next to Shuuichi, he listened. Shuuichi’s resentment wasn’t strong enough to echo back in Kokichi’s chest, but he could imagine it enough. Knowing something was wrong, then watching your dearest friend break down…all while the person you both looked up to and relied on for comfort just…slept through it. Unaware and unable to do anything, not from status, but…

Kokichi let out a shuddering sigh, nodding. “I’m…I’m mad at him. And…I know that if anyone should resent what he’s done, it should be you two, but…I’m mad…”

Eyebrows scrunching and eyes squinting, Kokichi sniffled. “...you two were hurt by people for years… I don’t b-blame him not being able to process it before, but…he’s defended your abusers even since things changed, so…so how can he make a grand statement like this now? I…I’m so disappointed in him…”

Shuichi nodded, “Yeah.” He agreed. 

Maybe if Shuichi was feeling better, he could make some small arguments on Katio’s behalf. Acknowledge that Shuichi knew, himself, how hard it could be to turn against someone you thought you were relying on, no matter how bad it got… but watching Maki break down was too fresh, and even as the thought occurred to him, it made his resentment of Kaito’s actions grow. Because Kaito was someone Shuichi had always wanted to rely on. And this was far from the first thing that he had fallen short on, when it came to supporting himself and Maki. 

Kaito made a lot of mistakes. And one aspect of being in a place to openly discuss Kaito’s life in a real way with him was… discussing the very real ways Kaito’s actions had hurt people. Had hurt them. Whether he had meant to or not almost didn’t matter after a certain point, they had still been hurt. Kaito’s unwillingness or inability to acknowledge when they were hurt, trying to bury their pain in distractions and shallow reassurances sometimes being the exact opposite of what his friends had needed in that moment. Unable to express their feelings as Kaito tried to create a sometimes literal party around the horrors of their lives.

It was enough, sometimes, for Shuichi to want to do things to harm him. To want to mock his mothers death in front of him, to dismiss and roll his eyes at Chad and Korekiyo’s death, to be dismissive and cruel when Kaito was struggling. Because maybe not all of Shuichi’s antagonizing was entirely him trying to get back at, in his own way, the strife the queen had put him through.

“...You know,” Shuichi said, leaning against Kokichi, “I think Kaito’s always believed that the greatest thing he could offer us was his wealth. His connections. He always brags about that part, when he tells people about looking after his friends. Keeping us out of trouble with his ‘orders’, getting us things we wanted, taking us to things we could never hope to get into without him basically shoving anyone who objected aside. And those were nice. We took advantage of all of it…”

“But that’s not why we needed him.” Shuichi confessed softly, “I mean… I’m not telling you anything you haven’t experienced yourself. Where Kaito shines is when you’ve fallen. When you need someone to pick you up and hold you and tell you that it’s everyone else who’s wrong, because you’re perfect, and he’ll fight anyone who suggests otherwise… where it looks like his heart is breaking on your behalf, and for a moment you really feel like you might be the most important person on the planet, because how could he fake that sort of sincerity… those quiet moments where he just listens to you, and it really feels like everything’s going to be alright.”

“But for him to do that, you need to fall first.” Shuichi mused, closing his eyes, “And Maki and I… we’re strong. It takes a lot to send us to our knees. And it’s just… frustrating. That it took Maki literally doing that, before Kaito was willing to put aside his anger and pride and his own needs, to finally be what she needed him to be. It just made me want to scream at him. It shouldn’t take us falling apart for him to think about what things look like from our perspective. He needs to do it before we get to that point.”

Kaito was one of the best people Kokichi could think to depend on in a crisis. He wasn’t always prepared for an emergency, but when people were back against a wall, when the world was crumbling around them, Kaito straightened his shoulders and bared his teeth, and taunted to the world, hey! This is the most incredible person in the world, but they deserve to rest, so bring it on! 

And in some cases…that was life-saving. In others, it was a little exasperating, but still welcome. 

…but the total absence of all of that, when the world wasn’t crumbling, but it just was a little darker? 

Kokichi sighed, tilting his head to rest on Shuuichi’s shoulder. “...we should be telling him this, rather than sitting in a bathroom together.”

He closed his eyes, his temple twitching. “...I feel like I bring him down so often. I hate doing it… I feel like every other week something happens and I’m just…telling him that his life is shit and how he deals with it is shit and the things he took comfort in are disgusting. And…I hate doing that to him.”

“...but I’d feel worse just…letting you guys be hurt and letting him coast.”

“His life is shit.” Shuichi said simply, in no hurry to rush back to the roof. Therapy could wait for them. Even if it couldn’t, it damn well better. “But so was ours. So was yours. We’re all struggling with things that happened. And sometimes we did those things to each other. And, honestly, Kaito has lashed out at all of us plenty of times now, for things we did. I’m not saying he’s earned a little fury back, but…”

Shuichi blinked, “No, actually, I am saying that. If he can give it, he can take it. And Maki doing that was the only way she got through to him. I won’t so much as suggest she was wrong.”

Kokichi rubbed his cheeks, still sniffling softly. “I wouldn’t either. If you took a step back, some of the stuff she said was really manipulative…but that’s not fairly looking at what happened. She’s hurt and she’s been wronged, and…her demanding the love that he’s promised and said’s been there all along… Maki-chan wasn’t wrong.”

He shuddered softly. He would never try to sum up those feelings on purpose, but even if they weren’t his…that agony still echoed through him. 

“...you think it’d be too far if I slept somewhere else tonight?”

“I don’t.” Shuichi admitted. Tilting his head slightly, “...I may kick him out for the night. Tell Maki to spend the night. I’m still debating if I want to put him on Miya duty either way. On one hand, Maki needs me. On another, if Miyako’s in a good mood, taking care of a baby together tonight might be exactly the sort of distraction she could use, as something to focus on while we lament together. Miyako in a good mood is an incredibly soothing presence. I’d almost argue it’s empath-shenanigans.”

“Either way, it’ll give Kaito time and space to think about why we’re all so frustrated.”

Kokichi nodded slowly. “...I might sleep in her nursery, then, and if you and Maki-chan need some time alone, I can take Miya.” He smiled softly. “We play in her dreams, sometimes, when she’s fussy in the middle of the night. She’s added water jets to the bubbles, though none of it actually comes down as water.”

Sighing, Kokichi rubbed his face again. “...I think some time apart would be good…but we still need to tell him this. It’s not fair to expect him to read our minds in silence, and isolate ourselves.”

Getting up, Kokichi pressed a tender hand to his stomach, seeing if any nausea would return from his change in elevation. It didn’t, but…well, hopefully they weren’t going to have anything too spicy or acidic for dinner. Maybe he could just eat a bunch of rolls and call it a night. 

With another sigh, he offered a hand to Shuuichi.

Upstairs, Kaito and Maki were promising to do their homework, which was to do the letter experiment together again– Dr. Mariah was certain this could work for this group under certain circumstances, she wanted to continue experimenting with it– but this time they had to stick to the conversion of discussing Byakuya between each other. The letter format giving each other time to breathe and process what the other had said, before responding while having a chance to think about what they actually wanted to say.

“And yes, I know I can’t really stop you all from writing these letters back and forth literally sitting next to each other, which does quicken the pace more than is the point… but having something written down that you can re-read later might in and of itself be helpful. You two feel your emotions very strongly, very physically, and I think sometimes the things you’re trying to communicate get lost in your desire to physically express them to each other. Even if you lose your train of thought in anger, letters will help you more easily backtrack and get back on topic.”

As Maki and Kaito nodded to that, both looking tired, Dr. Mariah looked up at the door, “Ah, welcome back.”

Kaito looked over his shoulder, and winced at the sight of Kokichi. His husband looked wrecked. In any other circumstance, Kaito might honestly find it difficult, not focusing on comforting Kokichi right now, but… honestly, he couldn’t think of a bigger ‘fuck you’ to Maki, then to decide that Kokichi’s agony over what they were doing to each other mattered more than what was actually happening between him and Maki. Hopefully Shuichi had helped. Shuichi looked really tired too…

Shuichi gave a small half-hug to Kokichi, before going to sit in his seat. Leaning forward to look at Maki, peering at her. She glanced over at him, and shrugged slightly to his wordless expression. Both of them trying to reassure each other.

“I was just telling Maki and Kaito here that I wanted them to continue this discussion over letter format, for the next week. Discussing specifically Byakuya, and his affect on them and their life together. There’s a lot to it. More than we can go over in one session, I’m afraid. This is one of those situations that won’t be fully resolved in a day.” Dr. Mariah explained, looking between Shuichi and Kokichi before asking Kokichi, “Were you able to make it to the bathroom?”

Kokichi gave Dr. Mariah a shaky smile. “I was, yeah. Sorry for the quick exit.” And while he had said it along with answering Dr. Mariah’s question, Kokichi’s eyes flicked to Maki, the apology mostly for her. He didn’t think she was all that bothered, but…well, he still meant it. 

The letters seemed like a good idea. Kokichi wasn’t sure that Kaito and Shuuichi had ever done their turn at it, but…well, it had been a good idea every time it was suggested. They just had to try it out to see if it worked, and especially discussing Byakuya…Kokichi did think the space letters provided could help. 

Sometimes, they just needed some space. 

Brows furrowing a little, Kokichi took a small breath. “Shuu-chan and I were talking a little in the bathroom… Don’t wanna step on his offer, but…we were thinkin’ that you, Maki-chan, an’ him could spend the night in our room tonight, and Kai-chan and I could be out.”

His eyes flicked briefly to Kaito. “Separately.”

Kaito’s eyes widened slightly… before he looked away. His expression troubled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Maki, in turn, flicked her eyes between Kokichi and Kaito… before deciding she didn’t care, looking to Shuichi. “You sure?”

Shuichi nodded. “Honestly, I think I need it as much as you do. We can watch Miyako together, but if she’s feeling fussy, Kokichi said he’d take her too, rest with her in the nursery.”

“I could…!” Kaito hesitated. Opening his hands, closing them, squeezing, opening them, closing, trying to read the room, “...um, actually, I may sleep out of the castle tonight, if we all need, like… a break? Breaks are okay… we use breaks all the time…”

He seemed to be mostly talking to himself by that point, his voice calm, his eyes a tad too wide. It had been a stressful session for everyone. Kaito was still sweating pretty heavily. His shirt had damp spots around the front and back collar, and under his pits. 

Dr. Mariah looked to Maki, who had been calming down as the three of them walked while Shuichi and Kokichi were away. Again, not ‘good’. Not ‘resolved’. That wasn’t happening today. But she was calmer. And Shuichi and Kokichi both looked– and tasted– like they needed some focus. So…

“Breaks are incredibly useful, and I am proud that you two are willing to express that need and set that boundary tonight. That’s a sign of growth. It’s a step forward, not backwards.” Dr. Mariah, “But, I think it’d be wise to express why you need that boundary today. Shuichi…” 

Dr. Mariah hesitated. Putting up a hand and stopping him as he opened his mouth to explain, “Actually, you go next. I know you’re already comfortable expressing yourself when it comes to difficult emotions, but Kokichi might have difficulty following up. Kokichi?”

Breaks were a good thing, and while Kokichi did worry a little about Kaito spending the night away from the castle as a whole…it would be fine. They’d stayed at hotels before, and Kaito had friends who wouldn’t mind offering up a spare bedroom or a couch for the night. 

However, the break wasn’t supposed to be a punishment, and for that to be true…they needed to be clear. 

Sighing a little at the truth Dr. Mariah pointed out, Kokichi hugged himself around his middle, looking around the roof for a moment before looking back at Kaito. His voice steadier than it had been since Maki’s breakdown. “...I’m disappointed in you, and I need some time and space to process that. I…”

He took a small breath, glancing at Maki in another apologetic look. “...maybe it’s not my place to say. But…it bothers me that you…you’re pointing to abuse as a breaking point for taking a stand for your loved ones…when you’ve seen a lot of it before, and have just…shrugged. It’s disappointing, because I know you’re more capable of care than that. So…I need some space.”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense.” Kaito said immediately. Almost before Kokichi had finished his sentence, nodding enthusiastically as he said, “Mmhm, mhm, absolutely. One hundred percent on board.”

Dr. Mariah tilted her head slightly, “...Kaito. What did Kokichi express to you?”

“Hmmm?” Kaito asked, eyes still slightly too wide.

“Why does he need space tonight?”

“Oh…” Kaito’s left eye flickered, “... I…” Kaito glanced at Kokichi, before trying, “I didn’t denounce Byakuya fast enough?”

“No, Kaito, Kokichi’s saying that–”

“Let’s not speak for each other.” Dr. Mariah said, “But, Shuichi, you are allowed to express how you’re feeling right now.”

Shuichi sighed, running his hand through his hair, “...Kaito, I’m so frustrated right now. It should take less than you hearing about one of the worst moments of Maki’s life, for you to be able to sympathize with what we’re going through. You said it yourself, but that doesn’t make it any less agonizing, that you should have taken Maki’s side on this argument between her and Byakuya ages ago. From the beginning. Byakuya has never been the good guy. Sayaka was never the good guy–”

“Shuichi, let’s take a breath.” Dr. Mariah advised him, “A minute. This isn’t meant to become a chance to just shout at each other over things we’re already trying to discuss openly.” 

“I recognize that…” Kaito tapped his fingers together, “...that I need to think about some things, and so does everyone else. And everyone’s been crying really hard today. Except our Shuichi. But he doesn’t like crying much, so that’s a good thing… um…”

Kaito rubbed his hand over his face, his brow pinching together, “...how far into this session are we? Is anyone else just… exhausted?”

Kokichi frowned a little more. Kaito was already checked out, then. 

He couldn’t blame him for that either. He’d be the last person to blame someone for hitting a wall of physical exhaustion, and he knew all too well how linked that could be with emotional exhaustion. If Kaito had hit that point, then…it wasn’t his fault for not being able to deal with anything more. 

…but Kokichi couldn’t help feeling frustrated anyway. Feeling like Kaito did this a lot, just checking out of conversations halfway done, barely acknowledging others’ pain except for a basic, blanket, ‘man, this is exhausting’. …building a distraction around people instead of just being there. 

Kokichi knew that wasn’t fair…but maybe that was just a sign he needed a break too, until he could feel more fairly. 

“...I would still like to hear the rest of Shuu-chan’s feelings, after his break,” Kokichi said softly, giving his fiance a nod.

“Thank you,” Shuichi said, giving Kokichi a grateful nod, before taking a deep breath, “...Kaito, your family… honestly, even more than them, but especially them… you shouldn’t need anything more by this point. You shouldn’t need literal murdered children and sobbing mothers of your children to finally acknowledge that your family was cruel to us. We have a lifetime proving it, that you watched.”

“I… know.” Kaito said softly.

“Do you!?” Shuichi asked, looking frustrated, “Because you act like you don’t! Kaito… we were slaves.” Both Maki and Kaito winced at that. It was a Luminary culture trait, that Indentured’s were not slaves. It was considered offensive to suggest they were. Offensive to people under indentured contracts themselves. But Shuichi was so beyond the point of caring, as he continued hotly, “We may have grown up alongside you, but that did not make us equals! We were treated like tools! Animals! You and Kaede treated us like other kids, friends growing up, but beyond you two, the only one who was half decent to us when we interacted was King Leon, because he barely acknowledged our existence when we were in the same rooms with him! We spied for him, murdered for him, and I am entirely certain he never learned our names!”

Kaito winced, and held back his urge to try to think back. Certainly his father must have addressed them by their names… once? But he swallowed that urge down, knowing that was the problem, as Shuichi continued. 

“But Queen Sakaya, Prince Byakuya, Prince Haji, the rest of the royal court!? We were second-class citizens, and they never let us forget it! And we tolerated it because we had no choice! And… I know, that you befriending Indentured’s was your own way of leaning away from that… but it wasn’t enough then, and Kaito, it is far too little now. There is nothing holding you back from acknowledging how bad it all was! Nothing but you.”

Shuichi huffed, quiet for a moment… before saying, dry-eyed and cold, “You’re capable of giving us more now. It’s not enough to love us, not if loving us doesn’t equal you doing everything in your power to see the world from our perspective. Without us having to scream that perspective at you. We need more from you.”

“We need you to choose us, Kaito.” Shuichi said simply, “and that’s the literal least of it. Your parents died villains, your brother has already kicked you out of his life anyway, and Kaede violently stole the kingdom from your side of the family. And all of them have a laundry list a mile long, of ways they are terrible people. You choosing us over them? Is literally just common sense, by this point. It’s barely a choice at all. So I don’t understand how you keep choosing wrong.”

…it wasn’t enough to love them, if Kaito didn’t respect them. A particularly cruel part of Kokichi wanted to huff that at least that made sense, since Kaito had never been respected by the people he loved either…but that wasn’t true, and it wasn’t even a begrudging truth. 

Kaito may not have had the love of his family, but he had had Maki and Shuuichi the entire time, and beyond them? He’d had Nekomaru and Kyouko (and even with their wariness, Kokichi could still see the love there), he’d had Meruko for the brief time they had, and he’d had that general. Kaito had countless examples of people using and disregarding him in life, but he had some genuine, long-time loves that had only left him through death. 

…and he kept chasing the people who showed time and time again that they thought of Kaito as little more than a tool. And that was so frustrating to see as a person that loved him, both for Kaito’s sake, but also for your own self-respect. 

Kaito had sobbed to Kokichi before, bearing his heart, asking the world why his love wasn’t enough because it was all he had to give. But…it wasn’t all he had to give, and while Kaito deserved love just on the basis of being himself…so did other people. And he hadn’t respected the love that was given to him, while chasing after people for whom nothing would ever be enough. 

“We love you, Kaito,” Kokichi said softly, looking strained and tired and sad. “Could you look at us?”

Look at them, and really see. Finally put down the Kaito-Goggles and just…acknowledge them as the full people they were. Flaws and pain and all…and understand that. 

Kaito wanted to immediately say ‘yes’ again. He wanted to offer them everything they were asking for and give it to them freely and make the sadness and grief and anger staining his family's faces go away. He wanted to be soothing and comforting and make them smile and make this stop. 

But it wasn’t like Kaito wasn’t hearing them. And he was aware, almost painfully so, that if he could give them exactly what they were asking for, on demand, he’d have been doing it already. Not that he couldn’t. But just… it was going to take him actually looking at what they were saying and trying to figure out what exactly that meant for him, in action. 

Their misery was sign enough that Kaito had already used up his chances to get this wrong. He needed to get it right. 

They kept asking him to consider them. To choose them. To see them, now. And Shuichi’s demands to be chosen had been bordered by pointing out to Kaito that choosing them was now the least he could do. That he barely had a choice otherwise. That they needed more from him.

He thought it was telling, that all of them were in some way just asking him to be more observant. Kaito hadn’t thought he hadn’t been paying attention. He had always liked to think that he noticed first, when something was wrong with his loved ones. He was good at ‘people’, after all… only he wasn’t. And hadn’t been. For a long time now, and had been struggling with that lack of skill in this strange place. Maybe he hadn’t just been failing with the Diceans.

Kaito, for a moment, tried taking Kokichi’s request literally. He tried just looking at them. Trying to not think about his preconceived notions, looking for things he expected to be there. Maki’s stern strength, Shuichi sweet, sometimes cold aloofness, Kokichi’s bright light and considerate nature. 

Tried not to see the Assassin, the Detective, and the Ouma.

…..they were all so small.

Maybe that was an odd thing to notice, but it was the first thing he did. Shuichi wasn’t actually that much shorter than Kaito, and he was still relatively thick from weight gain, but sitting in the egg, looking… fed up. Angry and exasperated? He still looked small. Vulnerable in his anger. Like a cornered animal, lashing out.

Kaito frowned at that thought. Shuichi just saying people had treated him like an animal. Kaito didn’t want to be one of those people… Shuichi looked vulnerable and angry like… like someone shouting at someone who wasn’t listening to them. And knowing it wasn’t getting through, but being unwilling to let it go. Unwilling to give in, Even if it was pointless.

…Kaito didn’t want it to be pointless…

Maki looked tired. Maki looked exhausted. As tired as Kaito felt. She also looked resigned. No… defeated. Kaito suddenly knew in that moment that disowning Byakuya hadn’t been enough. She either truly didn’t believe him, or it just hadn’t meant as much as he had wanted it too. She didn’t look like someone who could make the universe bend. She looked like someone who… was coping with the reality– no, the belief– that she was never going to get what she was hoping for. Out of him. Out of Kaito.

Kaito didn’t want that for her either.

And Kokichi…

His husband looked disappointed… and a little disgusted. Kaito’s stomach curled a little at that. Kaito’s actions had disturbed his husband. Kokichi looked like he was barely holding back from saying whatever was on his mind. Biting his tongue, to spare… probably Kaito’s feelings. Kaito couldn’t guess. 

Mindreading. He didn’t really know how Kokichi was feeling… he just knew he recognized that look of irritation. Of disgust. A year ago, Kokichi would have just straight up called him ‘gross’.

Kaito had a lot to think about, apparently.

“I’m trying.” He said softly, “I can’t do it all at once. I’m sorry.”

Kokichi nodded, giving a hefty pause as he glanced to Maki, then Shuuichi, before giving Kaito another nod. “I understand that. And I accept your apology. But…that is why I wanna sleep alone tonight.”

As much as he had been bothered by Kaito’s distracted exhaustion…Kokichi didn’t see how they’d get anything out of any more discussion. Maki and Shuuichi expressing themselves on what was looking to be the end of this matter, of course, because it would be a nightmare to leave things barely held back at this point, but…well, they certainly weren’t going to get around to talking about Maki’s dates, or talking about asking Lake and Nazumi to be godparents. 

He couldn’t say he had been expecting this, when they got to therapy that day, but…it was something a long time coming. Longer than he knew. 

…what the hell was he gonna do for the rest of the day after this?

 Maki and Shuichi likely did have more to say on this subject. There was plenty more to say, either for recovery or logic, or just venting their frustration and anger, literally shouting at Kaito just to relieve the stress that had been quietly building for so long. As Dr. Mariah had pointed out, stress unacknowledged didn’t mean it wasn’t still damaging them. And while she wasn’t in the habit of saying ‘I told you so’... she had known from the beginning that the issues of Maki, Shuichi and Kaito’s shared past where one was a prince and the other two were slaves was eventually going to be an issue. 

The group, or at least the three in question, had always seemed a little doubtful that it would ever come up. Content that they had handled the circumstances well and there was nothing to talk about… but a lot of this, Dr. Mariah was certain, was connected to all of that. Their respective royal, indentured upbringings affecting their world views, if maybe not explicitly their relationships. Dr. Mariah believed entirely, that their friendship and love and romance all were entirely sincere… but the baggage was undeniable. And they had to work through it. 

But as Shuichi and Maki gave each other tired looks, Dr. Mariah knew it wasn’t going to be today.

“Kokichi, your homework is going to be a task, if you’ll accept it.” Dr. Mariah said, looking to the prince, “I know our next session is not until next week, but in three days, at most, I’d like you to discuss with the others and make a judgment call on whether you wish to do another one early. A timeslot will be reserved for you all, you just have to decide if you want to make use of it. Do you accept?”

Kokichi looked over at Dr. Mariah attentively, though at her proposal, he gave something of a wince. “Um…actually… Our bonding ceremony is the day after tomorrow, and our wedding is the day after that. We could…” He glanced to the others. “...see if we wanted to have another session tomorrow? But otherwise, the soonest we could do is Monday.”

…it really was terrible timing. Even with all the negative feelings swirling and billowing through his chest and stomach, Kokichi still wanted their wedding with his whole heart and soul. Yes, officially, it was his bond to Shuuichi…but Kokichi had felt from the start like the wedding was more for all three of them, as a unit, than a conjoined wedding of him to Shuuichi and Shuuichi to Kaito. 

None of this impacted his desire for that. 

…but it was hard, finding time to let themselves feel and think, when something so important and busy and meant to celebrate their relationship was happening. 

Dr. Mariah frowned at that.

Ah. 

Hmm.

“...that is less than ideal.” She admitted, nodding, “Tomorrow then. Especially considering what a joyous event you’re meant to be celebrating soon? I feel an obligation as your relationship therapist, to try to help you all get to a better place than you are, today. This conversation needed to happen, it’s ultimately going to make this relationship healthier… but that doesn’t mean it felt good to have it, and I know how raw and exposed you all must feel right now.”

“It’s alright.” Kaito murmured. “Like… it’s still gonna be better than the last one.”

He sounded incredibly sad, as he said it, and Dr. Mariah sighed, “Take today. Think about things. Get some rest tonight, real rest, no one drinking their problems or staying up all night second guessing everything they did today. We’re tackling this tomorrow with fresh heads. It won’t be solved, again, this is a long term discussion. But I sincerely believe that the group can get to an emotionally better place about it tomorrow, if you take this advice today. Rest.” 

Shuichi and Maki nodded. Kaito rubbed his forehead and covered his eyes, but nodded too. 

-

Kokichi still hadn’t solved the question of what he was going to do for the rest of the day--resting, presumably, as Dr. Mariah encouraged, but the how was still a vast question--but they’d barely started down the street when Kokichi looked up at Kaito and held his hand up. 

“...can I hold your hand, or is that too much right now?”

“What? No, yeah, of course?” Kaito answered, immediately taking it. Shooting Kokichi a small grin, because that felt like something he should probably do, as he repeated, “Of course.”

Maki and Shuichi were a few steps ahead of them. Softly murmuring to each other, though Shuichi looked over his shoulder back at them. Something… tense. A little guilty. In his expression, as he sighed and looked ahead again.

“...I’ve ruined our wedding, haven’t I.” Shuichi said softly. Clearly enough for all of them to hear.

“No.” Kaito immediately barked. His grip on Kokichi’s hand tightening briefly, “No… our bonding ceremony and our wedding are not ruined. We’re just… we’re just all tired right now! If it seems bleak! Dr. Marah’s right, this is going to look better after we get some rest, and talk it out some more tomorrow. It’s all fine.”

“If anything, it’s my fault.” Maki shrugged, “It’s Kaito and I’s fight that started all of this.”

“And we are working through it! Nothing is anyone’s fault! Everything is fine!” Kaito insisted, “We’re just… spent.”

Kokichi smiled softly, gently cupping his hand in Kaito’s…before sighing. Stroking his thumb down the side of Kaito’s hand. “...I don’t think it’s fine. And it doesn’t have to be fine…but it’s true that it’s not anyone’s fault, and it’s true that we’re all tired.”

“And our wedding isn’t ruined,” he said even softer, though still loud enough to make sure Shuuichi could hear it. “I’m still so excited to get married, Shuu-chan, and for our bond to be affirmed to everyone. Being frustrated and upset doesn’t change that for me.”

“It’s okay to not be fine,” he nodded again. “This is just another part of being together, isn’t it?”

“Yeah! Exactly! It’s okay to not be okay!” Kaito shouted, like if he said it enthusiastically enough he’d convince himself… though he deflated a little, as he admitted, “I kind of wanted to be okay, at least for this week. Man, we were in such a good mood this morning… maybe we shouldn’t have had therapy this week.”

“A little late for that.” Maki pointed out.

“At least Cali’s birthday was nice,” Shuichi mused, “The kids had fun at the blacksmiths… Kaito, you said you were going to take them again next week, right? To finish their statues??”

Kaito nodded, feeling slightly relaxed at talking about the kids, “Yep! Kimiko’s got a bunch of little details she wants to try to put into hers, and Cali wants to make another. I don’t know if Tim wants to try to finish his last one or make new one, I think mostly he wants me to let him make a sword. We’re, uh… we’re holding off on making weapons for now.”

Though it was an inevitable part of life, it wasn’t like people wanted to have bad or difficult days. But…it was important to have these deep, difficult conversations, lest they let the stress from things unsaid build even more. This particular one was years overdue, so Kokichi doubted that waiting another week would make it worse, but…

Well, Maki was right. It was too late now, so they just had to work through it.

Smiling softly as the conversation turned to something more fun, Kokichi hummed happily. “It’ll be a nice accomplishment when he is ready to make one, though. And if the kids keep wanting to go to the hotshop, then they’ll have a lot of experience to draw from. I’m really excited to see their finished statues, though. Kimiko was showing me their planning sketches…”

Kokichi let out a small laugh. “They’re all really creative.”

“They’re good kids.” Maki decided. 

“Mmm.” Shuichi hummed. 

The four of them walked in silence for a bit. Kaito looked around, finding himself people watching a little. He felt like they all looked as messy as this felt. Maki’s face was still swollen and bruised, and while Kokichi’s crying face tended to heal better, the signs were still obvious on him too. Kaito knew that likely his only sign was red lines at the edge of his eyes. He cried with gritted teeth and tense jaws, but he was what they called a ‘pretty’ crier. Meaning basically the signs of it didn’t stain his face too hard or too long afterwards.

But it still felt obvious, as a group, how wrecked they had all just recently been. 

Kaito wished he knew what to say. He wanted to make some grand promises, or a gesture, but there was something suspicious in him that thought maybe that impulse might be… part of the problem. He could tell them he understood, and worse than that, he was actually pretty sure he did… but one of those things he understood was that his desire to defend his family– the, uh, the other one– was an impulse that if he didn’t actively watch himself every time he opened his mouth, would be his default. A habit engrained deep into his psyche. 

He didn’t feel confident that he could promise to stop that immediately. He had tried to promise it during the therapy session, and had still felt the impulse to defend them actively flare up twice. Kaito didn’t want to promise them everything they were asking for, and then immediately fuck it up again. They deserved better.

“...” Kaito opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Still trying to find some words that might fix all of this. But nothing felt good enough. Not enough to combat everything that had just happened. Everything Kaito could think of only made it worse. Was him falling back on quick-fixes and coping techniques that had led to this sort of blow-up in the first place. He didn’t know what to say.

As the walk dragged on in silence, Kaito eventually decided to just not say anything.

Their love for each other remained, and life moved on…but it was hard to…function after all of that. After hearing about the darkest point in their friend’s life, and watching her buckle over the disrespect done to her rippling out from that. And not only that. Like he’d told Shuuichi, Kokichi didn’t blame Maki, or thought that she reacted poorly or was wrong. 

It was just…hard. 

Kokichi gently squeezed Kaito’s hand. 

He was tired, and he had a feeling a lot of people wouldn’t consider it rest, but…

“...do any of you guys think you’re gonna take a nap when we get home? Cause if not…I might take Mi-Mi to the music room and practice piano. And all of you are welcome.”

At that, Kaito lit up. “We’re doing piano time!?”

This time it was Maki who looked back over her shoulder, something a tad interested in her expression, as she confessed, “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a piano played…”

“Oh, I am not missing Miyako’s first time hearing an instrument.” Shuichi said simply, shaking his head, “If you all even try to have me miss out on a first like that, I’m kicking you all out of the bed for the next month, wedding be damned.”

“Oof, that’s a serious threat, I can tell… can I nap and listen to baby’s first piano recital?” Kaito mused, eyes widening with wonder as he straight up admitted, “Like, I want to bring a pillow. Sweet baby, awesome husband, piano with loved ones and pillow time.”

“We could bring a few pillows.” Maki mused, “But the room the piano’s in has wooden flooring, doesn’t it? Be a little chilly.”

“Just bring the blankets, I guess.” Shuichi mused. 

“I think people are going to think it’s odd if the Ouma heir and his Luminaries are all inexplicably playing and taking naps in the music room.” Maki pointed out.

“Okay, but honestly I think whatever rumor would come out of that might actually be fun, sooooo.” Kaito shrugged, before looking to Kokichi, “Unless you’d rather I didn’t bring a ton of bedding to listen to you play piano, babe. Cause, like… fair?”

Kokichi’s smile grew a bit as each member of his family expressed interest. The heavy silence and weight around them not being shed, but lifting a bit. Enough to breathe and see a few steps in front of them. 

They might feel differently when they actually heard how his practices went, but…it would be a nice attempt. 

“Let’s build a pillow fort. Or a big nest,” Kokichi nodded approvingly. “If I didn’t think it might get too loud for her, I’d suggest you guys could lie under the piano…but Miya might appreciate a little space. Tender baby ears.”

“Otherwise? Yeah, let’s just get comfy. I dunno if the room was booked today, but even then there’s usually plenty of space to share.”

As it would turn out once they got home, though, the music room was not booked, and would be peacefully empty.

-

“...why are we stealing couch cushions?” Tim whispered to his father, who shushed him as the two peered around the door, watching predatorily as two people happily chirped back and forth at each other in the sitting room, sharing tea, the sun coming in warmly through the large windows on the wall. 

“Gathering supplies for a fort in the music room.” Kaito explained, before grabbing Tim’s arm and moving backwards as the two people got up, he and Tim backing away from the door like they hadn’t been watching them.

Timothy watched as Kaito gave the two people exiting the room a friendly grin, before hurriedly heading in after them, grabbing the door like it could possibly automatically lock behind them, like the sitting room wasn’t open for literally anyone to walk in at any time. “...you seem stressed, for someone making a fort.”

“Forts can be stressful.” Kaito said, hurrying to the couches and asking Tim, “Think you can carry two? They’re big. Actually, just carry one, but stack the other three in my arms, okay?”

Tim nodded, helping his father stack the large couch cushions. “I’m supposed to meet Kimiko in the yard soon. She wants to fly a kite.”

“Hell yeah, that’s awesome. I won’t make you stick around for fort shenanigans. Though you guys can stop by later if you get bored with kite time. Your uncle’s playing the piano!”

“We’ll be flying kites.” Tim said with all the certainty of a kid who had no real love for music.

“Fair enough.” Kaito mused, “I can’t see well past the cushions. Make sure no one sees us stealing these.”

Tim nodded, peeking around the corners of the door, before telling Kaito, “Now.”

He and Tim hurried out, heading down the hall, their heist well under way. As they hurried down, Tim asked, “Will we get in trouble for stealing these?”

“Nah. No one’s gonna care, I think. It’s just fun sneaking around a little.” Kaito grinned at his kid, “Adds a little bit of drama to fetching couch cushions, right? Sometimes it’s just fun being a little dramatic for its own sake, Tim.”

“Hmm.” Tim hummed.

As the two slowed down, now just walking with the cushions, Kaito glanced down at his kid. “...Hey Tim. You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Like… even if it’s something you think would upset me? If it’s a difference between you being upset and me being upset, I want to be certain you know it’s more important to me that you’re okay, over me being annoyed or, like, sad or anything. You’re more important than me avoiding getting bad news… does that make sense?”

“No.” Tim shrugged. “But sure.”

“Ah, well… okay.” Kaito said, deciding he’d try to think of a better way to explain it to him later. “It’s just important to me you know I love you. And loving you means it’s okay to upset me, if it helps you with something. Okay?”

“Sure.”

Kaito gave his kid a slightly exasperated look. He had no idea if Tim understood what he meant… well, he’d keep at it. Later. He’d try again later. “Good.”

-

Kokichi tittered softly as he watched his family put the finishing touches on their pillow fort, Miyako utterly unconcerned with it all as she looked idly around the room, sucking on her pacifier in his arms. He’d helped out a bit at first, not wanting to miss out on fort-time, but they did need someone to watch Miya, and for the most part he wasn’t going to be sitting in the fort, so…he just sat on the piano bench, where he’d mostly be, his music folder sitting on top of the closed lid. 

It was really something. Not only had they gotten a bunch of blankets and pillows from their own rooms--really just the princes’ room, though Maki had brought one blanket of her own--but Kaito had managed to rope Tim into stealing some couch cushions from some of the sitting rooms, and while Kokichi vaguely worried about figuring out which cushions came from where and what couch later…he wasn’t that worried. And seeing the half canopy, with a nest-like open sitting area for greater listening, he was almost jealous that he wouldn’t be all snuggled in it. 

But he was more than happy to provide something to occupy his family’s minds. 

Looking down at Miyako, Kokichi smiled softly and slowly spun around on the bench, facing the piano now. They really could just settle down in the fort, if the piano was too startling for her--she hadn’t seemed to mind the record player when they had it at their anniversary party, so they could still listen to music--but it would be good to figure that out promptly. Gently, Kokichi pressed a few keys, intently watching--and opening himself up to feeling for--Miyako’s face. 

“This is a piano, Mi-Mi. Your great-grandpa made a lot of music through it, so Daddy wanted to learn how to play too.”

{Big eyes} Miyako observed, entirely unphased by the few notes, far more interesting in Kokichi’s face now that he was largely all she could see, turned away from the room, {Purple}

Kaito had taken off his shoes and placed them on each the side of the fort, using his boots to keep the two side cushions propped up, Maki doing the same with the back ones, Kaito stretching out his toes a little as he leaned back on nest of pillows, resting on his hands. Shuichi seemed content to snuggle into the blankets a bit, idly contemplating asking Kaito to fetch snacks next, while Maki sat at the edge of the fort, wanting her own feet on the cool wood tiling, finding the chill of it soothing as she leaned against one of her legs, watching Kokichi. 

“Well,” She asked, “How is she?”

Kokichi snorted, eyes flicking to the keys as he slowly played a few one-handed scales. “She doesn’t care at all. Another point to her taking after Kai-chan, though--she’s decided that my eyes are big and purple and worth her attention.”

He played a few notes slightly louder. He hadn’t been planning on making it a big concert or anything--while he did feel some pressure to be a little impressive, he did mean it when he said this was going to be practice--but if he could incorporate some dynamics when they were called for, that would be good. Easier than playing everything at pianissimo. 

{Big baby eyes~} Kokichi cooed back to his daughter, smiling down at her. {Gold. Like Dada and Grandpapa. Zizi Alter Ego too.}

He played a quick, familiar arpeggio, still watching her.

Miyako blinked in astonishment at that idea.

She had eyes????

As Miyako grappled with the implications of such a revelation– where? Why couldn’t she see them??-- Kaito chuckled over at the fort, watching them fondly. “Hey, I like music! I know how to read notes and all of that, and I dance… admittedly, I don’t exactly have any strong desire to play.” Kaito shrugged, “But if she’s not entranced, that’s a Shuichi trait. He’s never been a music guy.”

“I was once.” Shuichi said softly, staring at the piano wistfully.

“Oh, yeah, well…” Kaito huffed, letting his head fall back a bit, staring at the roof, “Yeah, well. Kaede makes it look cool, gotta give her that. But Kokichi’s way more fun to listen to, guys!”

“It’s not a competition.” Maki shrugged, relaxing as she listened to Kokichi try another string of notes, before stopping to observe Miyako. “She seemed to have noticed that one, at least.”

“She did?” Shuichi asked, peeking up from his blanket hurdle, leaning towards Maki’s shoulder, “Let me see.”

Miyako was staring curiously at Kokichi’s arms, forgetting about her eyes for now. Noting daddy’s arms were moving around more than they usually did when daddy was holding her.

“You do,” Kokichi chuckled, “I meant more her observations, than a disinterest in music. I don’t think anyone who dances as much and with as much gusto as you do could really hate music.”

Kokichi glanced over at Shuuichi with a gentle look before he went back to his one-handed warm-up. He wasn’t sure if it had really been something intentional, but after learning that Kaede played piano…well, he wasn’t sure if that made him not really want to bring up his own dabbles, or he really just had forgotten. He’d heard she was really good. Kokichi knew he wasn’t, but, as Maki said, it wasn’t a competition. As long as he wasn’t driving his family up a wall, and they got some enjoyment out of his playing, then it was something worth sharing. 

He really doubted Kaede had a big book of Dicean compositions to play either. 

Looking down at Miyako, Kokichi hummed. “Well? What do you think, Miya-Miya? This is acceptable?”

{Big purple eyes.} Miyako observed again in fascination. Her eyes keenly memorizing the way Kokichi’s eyes turned up a little when he smiled, friendly and warm and adoring. {Daddy}

All at once, Kokichi stopped playing, looking at Miyako in astonishment. And then, for the third time that day, his eyes started shimmering, though these tears were far more gentle on his body. Grinning wide, he curled his back down to place a kiss on his daughter’s head, gently snuggling her. 

{Miyako~}

“She called me ‘Daddy’...”

Kaito, who was still leaned back onto his hands, lost in thought as he stared at the ceiling, looked up in interest at that, grinning wide, “She did? No more Soft-heat? Awww, of course my girl would learn daddy’s title first. I’d want to learn everything about Kokichi too, in her shoes~”

“She doesn’t wear shoes,” Shuichi pouted, “Tell me when she starts recognizing ‘dada’.”

“She won’t, if you keep referring to yourself as ‘father’ half the time.” Kaito pointed out, giving Shuichi a knowing grin, who just huffed in response. 

“She still thinks of me as Dragon, apparently.” Maki observed, resting more against her leg, her chin on her knee, “I can’t quite imagine how that works for her. Obviously I don’t look like a dragon, so it’s something she feels, I suppose.”

“Maybe she can just feel your… tether? On her?” Kaito guessed, observing Maki curiously at that, “Whatever the equivalent of what you’re doing for her is, anyway. I gotta assume it’s something like a tether. A part of you is, like… projecting into her twenty-four seven, after all. And it’s gotta be some dragon way of doing it that would look distinct, like how the flora hiveminds version looked like vines.”

“Who told you about that?” Shuichi asked, curious.

“Zizi,” Kaito said, gesturing towards Kokichi, “Alter Ego. We’ve had a few conversations, and they showed me.”

Now Maki looked a little surprised, looking over to Kaito, “You’ve talked to the cat since they told you about being Mondo, Taka and Chihiro?”

Kaito nodded, “Sure. Once or twice since then. Never for very long, Saint Madison gets real annoyed when they show up, but they swing by to check in on her and fill me in that Griffin and the mountain are holding strong.”

“Griffin… my defense?” Shuichi recalled.

Kaiot nodded, “Your cool library secretary person, yeah. They’re neat. Cute. Those claws look fun. Alter Ego promised to keep me updated…” he shrugged, “They know it makes me feel better.”

Kokichi laughed softly, just enjoying holding Miyako close and sending her waves of love, still over the moon. She had been able to recognize all of them for a while, of course, and while none of their titles had really been words, as much as just the entire conglomeration of who they were to Miya, in her mind, but…such a pointed definition of intent…that was new. Kokichi wasn’t just someone familiar, a soft heat associated with the color purple--now, he was Daddy, all those things included, but…more. A specific relation to Miyako. 

He knew he had a hell of an advantage, but Kokichi had a feeling that Kaito and Shuuichi and Maki wouldn’t be far behind…if Miyako ever stopped referring to Maki as ‘Dragon’.

“I mean…your connection to her is a giant mountain of a dragon in her mind,” Kokichi both confirmed and explained, giving Maki a nod. “It makes sense she would associate you with that familiarity… Because of that, you’re also a lot warmer than even Kai-chan, which she seems to love, so…embrace it, I guess. It’s something prestigious to our girl.”

Kokichi knew that Alter Ego did check on Kaito and Shuuichi from time to time, maintaining the observation and upkeep of their defenses, but, well, he supposed he shouldn’t be as surprised as he was to hear that his mentor and husband had been having chats during ‘em. That was…nice. Really nice. Kokichi felt his heart warm… Of course, now knowing about everything, Kaito would want to get involved; and get to know someone close to Kokichi. 

“That’s great… I’m glad you two are chatting. And they are a bit better at explaining some of that stuff than I am,” Kokichi chuckled.

“It’s a lot.” Kaito admitted, grinning somewhat weakly at Kokichi, “It’s a loooot to learn. Sometimes I wish Saint Madison wouldn’t bully them away so soon, because it always feels like our lessons go too short, but, well, you know how she is. She’s really protective of my sleep schedule, and her hints to Alter Ego get waaaay more heavy-handed then her hints to you, ‘Kichi. The dogs show up a lot sooner.” Kaito mused. 

“Don’t you… control? Saint Madison?” Maki pointed out, giving Kaito a distinctly unimpressed look, “Like, doesn’t she answer to you?”

Kaito shrugged, “Kinda?? I consider her fussing as, like… my conscious talking at me. And the dogs and vines are my common sense and guilt personified!” Kaito said, bringing his hands up and waving them… before letting them fall, shrugging, “Though admittedly, in the moment, it just feels like vines and dogs and a very pushy saint.”

“I’ve never met Griffin. I think that might actually be for the best.” Shuichi mused, “I appreciate that the defense works, but I don’t like to overthink its existence.”

“Their.” Kaito corrected.

“See, like that.”

“Kokichi!” Maki called over, “Play something you know.”

Kokichi nodded knowingly, both to the vast well of knowledge that was not just Empathy in general, but even just what pertained to his family, and to how Saint Madison was. Kaito very well could ask her to just let Alter Ego stay, like he did for Kokichi, but…well, essentially his defenses could work just like guilt, and Kaito, though wanting to learn, did have less of an emotional desire to keep Alter Ego around than when Kokichi came to visit. 

Husband privileges, really. 

Laughing softly, Kokichi scooted over on the piano bench, handing Miyako over to Maki, as she was the closest. “Got it, got it… Here, I don’t wanna jostle her too much while I’m playing.”

Looking through his sheet music, Kokichi thumbed past a few songs before he paused, a small, bittersweet smile on his face. This…well, it wasn’t quite right on the nose, but it was close in a way that…maybe wasn’t appropriate. But the tune was nice, and the lyrics on the page were in Tradean, so even if his family peeked it wouldn’t be immediately obvious. 

Setting up the music on the ridge, Kokichi set his hands on the keys, letting out a sheepish chuckle. “...well, I do know this one, mostly, but I am kinda still working on it. Don’t boo me, I’ll cry.”

And, starting up a slow, but bouncy bass rhythm, he started.

Kaito lit up at the sweet, jaunty tune, more than pleased as music started to swell cheerily through the room. Shuichi watched Kokichi play, the familiar light bounce of shoulders and sway of the waist that he recognized as a pianist really getting into it. Maki, in turn, was content to look down at Miyako, giving her some fingers to play with as Miyako turned her fascinated gaze at Maki.

But there was a few blinks from the infant, and her gaze turned away from Maki. Vaguely in the direction of the music, curious about it. Maki, smiling a little at her interest, adjusted her to lay on her arm and face towards the piano, before tapping at her feet. At first lightly, then enough to push her leg up, one after another, moving Miyako’s legs to the beat.

She smirked, when after a moment, about halfway through the song, Miyako started to kick her legs roughly to the beat Maki was teaching her. Maki taking the first step in Miyako’s life towards teaching her how to dance, as she kept the little beats. 

Kaito didn’t notice till near the end of the song, but he glanced over and grinned, chuckling a little and giving Maki a small, thankful look. If the two of them had their way, they were absolutely adding another little dancer to the family. It was something he and Maki had really gotten a chance to bond over the last year. Their little ‘sparring’ matches. 

… Kaito looked away, frowning at that thought a little.

Their sparring matches hadn’t been enough to clue Kaito in how badly he was hurting Maki…

Leaning back onto the pillows, Kaito rested his hands on his stomach, staring at the ceiling as the music cheerfully swelled and danced through the air, Kokichi only hesitating at a few parts, a few notes repeating uncertainly while Kokichi tried to work out the next part of the piece. Kaito both unable to stop thinking about what they had discussed in therapy, and unable to think about anything new in regards to it. His mind just… circling the same memory over and over. Not learning anything new every time he went through it.

…it felt so insurmountable… Kaito vaguely aware that there was nothing he could really do by this point. Nothing but wait. 

Hey, hey, hey, this is a message one-way to you. We’re staying up chatting ‘til dawn, but it’s like I’m talking on my own.

Really not their actual issues. Kokichi rarely felt like any of them wrote in responses, not really listening when someone else was talking--really only when someone was bone tired and that was kind of expected. Engaging took energy, and if you didn’t have it, then there was nothing to do, and that was understandable. 

…it did sometimes feel like Kaito had a baseline, though, an image of who he, and Maki and Shuuichi too, were supposed to be. Kaito didn’t ignore them when they deviated a lot from that baseline--being a great person in crisis--but…there was a principle like surface tension with it. A break-through window that they had to be from that baseline for Kaito to notice and not just…act as he normally would at that baseline. And all the work was always to get them back to that baseline. 

And…and it was a good thing, to want to bring happiness or calm to your loved ones. Kokichi thought it was a good outlook to have, to want to be a person who, more often than not, brought good vibes to others. But…baselines for people didn’t actually exist. People were always changing, never just one thing, and trying to drag people back into a single idea, especially if they really needed release was…like talking to someone who only had pre-set phrases. 

As Kokichi finished the song, he sheepishly turned back around, smiling a bit brighter as he saw Miyako wiggling in Maki’s lap. “So…usually in practice I work on a song for a while, trying to figure out the trickier bits, but…I can just go through a few songs I just want repetition practice on, if that’d get too boring.”

“Nah, I like this song. It’s fun and bouncy.” Kaito called out, raising a thumbs up from where he was laying back, “But do whatever feels good to you, babe.”

“Kaito, I may ask you to go get food soon.” Shuichi warned him, scooting closer to Maki, bringing his cocoon of blankets with him as he leaned against her, already looking a little sleepy, peering down at Miyako over Maki’s shoulder, “Why are you such a wiggly baby, Miyako?”

“She’s feeling the music.” Maki shrugged slightly, now lightly rubbing Miya’s ankles, “What kind of food were you thinking, Shuichi?”

“Mmmm… sandwiches.” Shuichi decided, “With crunch lettuce and thick slices of meat and condiments… and cookies. And juice.”

“Grk!” Miyako gurgled around her pacifier.

“You’re correct, Miyako. Chips would go nicely with all of that. Chips too.”

Kaito frowned a little. His instinct saying he should insist on fruit slices instead… but he nodded, “Yeah, sure, no problem. Maki, babe? You guys want the same? Something else?”

Kokichi nodded, giving Kaito an appreciative smile. Considering he’d been trying to play things for years, and his attention span often had him bouncing from song to song, he did have a decent repertoire, but…well, depending on how long they stayed, he might just run out of things to play. There was always just fucking around, but Kokichi couldn’t play music by ear for shit. 

Glancing back up at the music, Kokichi hummed to himself. The bass part of the bridge was pretty tricky…that’d be good to work on. 

…he didn’t think their habit of asking Kaito for favors was all that much of a problem. Kaito often insisted on it himself, though Kokichi knew it was under the desire to feel helpful in a tangible way. Maybe there was something to that, but…well, asking for food when they were deciding to hole up for a while seemed alright. 

“That sounds really good, actually,” Kokichi smiled at his husband. “Though I might pass on the cookies and chips. I’m not gonna eat at the piano, and I don’t wanna take a million years munchin’. Thank you, hun. I appreciate ya.”

Kaito nodded, before looking to Maki, who shook her head, then seemed to reconsider… “Tea.” She requested. “Chai.”

“Oh! Same.” Shuichi smiled. 

“Got it.” Kaito nodded, grinning a little as Miyako started wiggling again when the music started up, getting the hang of what Maki had been teaching her. Little baby dancer… “Be right back.”

Kaito headed out, and while he had been enjoying the fort, he found as soon as he walked out that it was a little easier to breathe. Not having noticed how tense he was until the line in his shoulders eased out, Kaito cracking his neck a little as he tilted it one way, then another, rubbing at the muscles there.

…would a submission bow help?

No, probably not. Shuichi didn’t like them, even if he was the only person Kaito had ever seen seriously consider using it, outside of his br– Byakuya. Kokichi hated them and consider all the times Kaito had forced them on him uncomfortable at best and traumatic at worse. Maki might not care either way, but Kaito suspected she wouldn’t appreciate it either, since their situation made it so that Maki couldn’t really take advantage. Not in any meaningful way. It wasn’t a real offer if her taking it up would turn his husband and fiances ire on her.

So, that was out. 

…Kaito didn’t know how to make up for a lifetime of thinking wrong. 

Again, he came to the truth of the matter: that he kinda couldn’t. That it was more just letting his family feel their feelings and trying not to make it actively worse. There was nothing necessarily… wrong with that. But he did feel some pressure to try to think of something that would show them he did understand why they were upset. He just wasn’t sure how to explain it back to them… sure, not just to show he understood, technically, but also that he was going to change?

…..what did change mean?

Maybe that was why he was struggling to explain himself, he realized, as he headed down the stairs. Maybe he did understand, but, like… didn’t understand what he understood? Uuuuuuuuh, shit, did he understand? Alright, Momota, think, you got this. Why are they pissed?

You should hate your family.

Kaito winced. That… didn’t seem right. Hmmm, that was close, but that felt like he was trying to simplify it too much… and also, even thinking it made Kaito feel a little bit like a whiny child. Stomping his foot on the ground and shouting ‘Fine, well, I guess you just HATE ME then!’ when a parent tells them they’re doing something wrong. It was taking a reasonable feeling they were having and making it sound harsh and irrational. He could do better.

He gave some passing housekeepers he recognized small nods– that one had brought him his shirt that one time. Shoot, what had been her name…– as his feet padded against the stairs…

He gawked at his feet.

Oh shit he forgot his shoes.

He felt his face redden, embarrassed. Briefly looking up the staircase, very sincerely considering running back up and getting them, or at least grabbing some slippers from the room, feeling just... Sloppy and underdressed. His mother would be horrified…

Kaito felt his shoulders fall a little at that thought, before sighing slightly and just continuing down the staircase. It didn’t really matter. He doubted anyone would even notice. Kokichi ran around shoeless all the time. Kaito had never managed to not embarrass his mother anyway. 

…Shuichi hated her. 

She wasn’t the good guy. 

The sheer frustration Shuichi had said that with. Like he wanted to grab Kaito and shake him. Why would Shuichi be so frustrated with him? Because he grieved her? No, that didn’t sound right… his fiance wasn’t cruel. Hell, he wasn’t Byakuya. He wouldn’t resent Kaito being sad. It was more…

Kaito nibbled on his inner lip.

… he did defend his mothers influence on the nation and politics and, hell, even her conspiracy theories. It had felt important for Kaito to do so, defending his mother who people– like… the staff… the servants and the indentured alike…– who were constantly rolling her eyes at her and talking shit and getting increasingly frustrated serving her. Kaito had always felt so defensive when they started doing that. Wanting to argue that she was trying her best and if everyone wasn’t doing everything they could to keep her hands tied…

……. Maybe that was… a bad thing to argue to the people who literally had to serve her every whim…

………………shit.

Kokichi chuckled softly at the addendum to the menu and turned back to the piano, his eyes refocusing on the keys. The little runs and flourishes weren’t so bad, since it meant he was hitting every key…it was just the little sets that were only in key. And…sometimes he got the spacing of his fingers wrong when he was playing a chord…

Huuuuuuh… He did say it took him months to get something down. 

…his eyes still stung a bit. He wouldn’t be surprised if he started getting new nightmares too. 

Part of him couldn’t believe how Maki wasn’t haunted every minute of the day, but…he knew. Even with the most horrific trauma, life still went on. Some people did break from it, but Maki hadn’t. So…she had continued to live. 

…hm. But maybe saying that it didn’t haunt her wasn’t quite right. She just wasn’t beaten down from it. She still carried that hatred with her, and…

Kokichi sighed softly. He didn’t want to keep ganging up on Kaito. That’s just where his thoughts kept looping back to, though. 

But…they’d talk about it more, and come to understand each other better. They were committed to this, to each other. So…they’d walk forward together.

Kaito had gotten to the kitchen and, grinning blankly at the person who had come to the door, requested what his family had ordered. And when the person went back inside the kitchen to do so, Kaito waited outside of it. Staring at the door.

…the kitchen wasn’t as angry at him as Kaito was at them.

Kaito’s pride had been hurt, when Isabella had said no to him working in the kitchen. He had never let it go. And… no one had even known what was going on, when Kaito had bullied his way into the kitchens with Kokichi, or when he had gone in to steal a knife and bowl away. No one aware of why every time Kaito had interacted with the kitchen staff, it had been if not actively furious, then borderline furious.

Kaito remembered sort of hating everyone, the day his parents had died.

And as justified– borderline righteous– as that hatred had felt… the kitchen staff themselves had basically nothing to do with any of it. They were just sort of there when Kaito was either pissed on Kokichi’s behalf, or pissed at his dead parents behalf, and then eventually pissed at his own behalf, but in a way where the staff couldn’t possibly have any idea why.

It occurred to Kaito that a part of him was just pissed that the servants had the audacity to tell him no.

Kaito frowned at that thought. That didn’t feel entirely right, but… it didn’t feel entirely wrong either. He had used to like, brag about, even, his ability to not be treated like royalty among commoners. He had liked being approachable. Easy to get along with. The Momota you could drink with. The Momota you could fuck.

He had taken a lot of pride in that, once. He had thought it made him a little like Kaede. A little like his mother, or at least how his mother had been in her past. Like he was living up to them a little. But that was only sometimes. Other times he had felt like his wild lifestyle was an act of defiance against his station. Kaito living his own life, putting up a middle finger to his royal class structure, which he hadn’t ever felt like he was capable of living up to anyway.  

Kaito snorted a little. So hanging out with people who had more to gain from being nice to him than they did rejecting him made him both a rebel, and also maybe a socialite like two women who’s approval he had desperately wanted?

Well, wasn’t that convenient for his self esteem, on any random day.

…there was something there. As Kaito grinned again, accepting the tray of food and thanking the kitchen staff for their help, he headed back up. There was something there…

Kokichi worked on the piece for a bit, happily glancing back every now and then to catch Miyako wiggling--or just looking up at Maki and Shuuichi when it seemed she was done enjoying the music for a bit--and half-listening to the soft comments his friends made in the pauses between notes. It was a few moments of just entirely idle existing. 

Maybe it was on purpose, maybe it just worked out that way, but Kokichi was eyeing a few of his other sheets as he heard Kaito return. When he finished eating out of piano range, his husband would’ve just gotten to go from one song to the next, though he had been the only one vocal about enjoying Kokichi’s practice. 

Could that be a metaphor? Maybe. But Kokichi wasn’t all that concerned as he got up, heading over to help Kaito distribute their afternoon snack haul. “Thank you, Kai-chan. Anything interesting going on downstairs?”

“Nah, not that I noticed.” Kaito grinned, lowering his arms a little to make it easier for Kokichi to grab some items and bring them to Maki and Shuichi, who did not hesitate to eat in the fort. Kaito sat down after a moment, joining them, though he had only gotten himself water. Not particularly hungry as he sipped at it, looking fondly at Miyako in Maki’s lap, clutching onto her shit with her idle little iron baby grip. “Miyako still handling the music alright?”

“I think she likes it.” Shuichi mused, “She was wiggling like a fiend for a minute there.”

Kaito warmed at that, “We’re going to find her dancing by herself in her room no doubt. Bouncing her little baby butt, like our Kokichi at his most groovy.”

“Hmmm.” Maki nodded, sipping at her tea, “...Kaito. Are you angry at me?”

“...no?” Kaito answered, giving her a small, curious look at that, “No.”

“You asked me if I remembered ‘that little nugget’,” Maki said, sipping at her tea, her plate next to her, “That I had been ready to kill you. I told you that on the anniversary of your parents death. I said I was around, if you wanted a villain who was within reach–”

“And I said that’d be miserable.” Kaito recalled, shaking his head, “And it still would be. I won’t say I wasn’t angry when I said it. But I also don’t really believe you’d have ever done it. I was just… lashing out. Trying to use your words against you. It’s not something I’ve ever actually been afraid of, with you. Even if you ever believed it, I didn’t.”

Taking a seat at the edge of the fort, Kokichi dug into his sandwich. They’d had lunch earlier, as they usually did before their afternoon sessions, but therapy took a lot out of him. After something taxing like that, his usual go-to was a nap, but since he was staying up, refueling a bit was the next best thing. He didn’t think something like this would put too much of a damper on his appetite for dinner either so…it was all good. Even if he’d excuse himself before heading back to the piano to wash his hands first. 

…this wasn’t round two. But…it was on all their minds. 

Kokichi gave Maki a mildly alarmed and worried look, concerned that she would offer something that provocative on the anniversary of Kaito’s parents’ deaths…but he wasn’t all that surprised. One of the first major things that had given him insight into the kind of person Maki was, was her offering to be a villain. 

(Not offering herself up on a platter, necessarily, though that’s exactly what this particular offer sounded like. But willing to be a wall to throw yourself at…rather than bolstering herself for the work of picking up the pieces. But…that was a reach of psychoanalysis anyway, and Kokichi didn’t exactly think it was a major issue of Maki’s habits.)

But even with something like that, Kaito had said that what he and Maki did on that day made it bearable. 

Nodding a little at Kaito’s words, more just caught up in the conversation, it did occur to Kokichi to comment that…yeah, that made since, because Kaito’s always had so much faith in Maki…

…but considering the issue from her side, that was…kind of a dick comment. So Kokichi just worked on his sandwich.

“I just thought it was telling, that that’s what you chose to say, when you were that upset.” Maki mused, Kaito’s daughter now rubbing her face slightly into her stomach. Maki absentmindedly pet her hair a little, Miyako blinking sleepily as she did so, while Maki started to work on her sandwich. Eating a few bites as Kaito considered that.

“Like I said, I was lashing out. I wanted to say something that would hurt you. And make you, like, definitely the bad guy, ya know? Threatening to kill me is easy, low hanging fruit, even if you never actually threatened to kill me. Like, aha! I’m the victim! She threatened to kill me! …except you never did.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes a little, “Just confessed to me that you thought, privately to yourself, that you could, if it meant defeating Byakuya. Which I think is a safe bet that you were just bs’ing yourself if you ever seriously thought you could. You love me. You don’t kill loved ones. That’d be messed up.”

“So why do you get so angry at me then?” Maki asked. Staring at him sternly, determined to get more answers out of him, even as he sighed a little over his cup of water, “Because you were furious. You said I betrayed you.”

“...” Kaito rubbed his face a little. Rubbing the tension out from behind his eyes, “... I don’t think you’d ever have killed me, even in a worst case scenario. But I… can’t… say that doesn’t mean I don’t believe I was betrayed. I… if resolving this means I need to say you guys didn’t betray me? I just… can’t. You did.”

“...but…” Kaito chewed on his lip a little, it starting to chap with how much he been worrying it that day, “...I could see it being a sign I was… on the wrong side. Or with the wrong priorities. That you making the choices you did felt like a betrayal. Like… like I was in the wrong for being in a position to be betrayed. Fighting the wrong battle.”

“Fighting what battle?” Shuichi asked dryly, eating a chip as he pulled apart his sandwich into smaller bites on his plate, “You refused to see there was a battle. Can’t fight what you don’t acknowledge.”

…Kaito sighed. 

…killing loved ones was messed up. So, (and Kokichi, taking a step back from himself, really hated that this was a thing he could even consider) when you looked at the people someone had killed…you then had to consider if love was involved at all. 

It was true, that Kaito had been betrayed, and it would be unreasonable and cruel for all of them to expect him to say he hadn’t, but…

“Guys…” Kokichi said softly. It wasn’t quite full passive-aggression, or beating around the bush, but it wasn’t fair to Kaito either, to just…leave him offering his thoughts and trying to reach an understanding, and not offering much in return but a ‘no, that’s not right’. 

…it might be better to try and dig back into this tomorrow, when they had more help, but…it was counterproductive to only have difficult conversations in therapy. They had been going to try and learn how to have these kinds of conversations without a moderator. 

But where to pull…

Kokichi sighed softly, taking a plunge. “...Kai-chan? I mean…hm. Well, what battle do you mean, then, if you say you were fighting the wrong one? That is acknowledging there is one, so…”

Shuichi looked a little frustrated, with Kokichi’s slightest of admonishments, but then, Shuichi had always had the most difficult time when it came to passive aggression. While his career had been about investigating crimes, he had thankfully never been asked to argue in court for said cases. He wasn’t a lawyer.

Kaito, in turn, gave Kokichi a small, appreciative look, before sighing. Running his hand through his hair a little, closing his eyes to think, “Like… defending my family, I mean. Like they were even people that needed defending really. Defending from who? They were literally the most powerful person in a room, in any room. Like… duh.”

Rolling his eyes at himself a little, Kaito eyed Miyako. Keeping track of his language as he continued, “...I’m not trying to make an excuse. Or maybe I am, I don’t know… but I grew up hearing people trash my family constantly. Especially to me, like it was… fun. Trashing a Momota to another Momota. I think people enjoyed the illusion of trash talking my parents themselves, or Byakuya… not Kaede. No one ever trash talked Kaede to me. Maybe that’s why I never felt that defensive of her? Everyone put her on this princess pedestal, which just made her easy to admire, even when she was pulling, like, schemes that hurt us. Heck, she put you both in mortal danger at different points and… I still…”

Kaito frowned, hearing himself as he said it aloud. Staring at Shuichi as he eventually forced himself to finish, “Thought she was incredible. It took, uh… it took her turning against my brother, or, sorry, against Byakuya, for me to finally get fed up with her… even though she put you in serious danger, Shuichi, when we were kids. And then clearly didn’t learn her lesson, because she did it again to Maki, however many years later…”

“And she helped spread the rumors that you were too crazy to risk inheriting the throne, Kaito.” Shuichi reminded him dryly. “Which I’ve never been able to tell if you didn’t actually know, or if you ignored it with everything else.”

“...yeah, I knew. It doesn’t matter, I was too crazy to be king. There’s no real loss there.” Kaito said deadpan, before shaking his head, “That’s not the point. My point is… heck, I was using Kaede as an example of circumstances where I don’t do it, to contrast when I do, and even that ended up showing more I did it all the time. I… I ignored, or, not ignored… I dismissed it, or excused it, or forgave it too quickly, when my family took advantage of your positions. I… didn’t want my family to be the villains. So I explained away everything they ever did to you guys. And maybe at one point I had to do that with Byakuya? But…”

Kaito shook his head, “I never had to do it with my father or mother. I just wanted to. I wanted them to be ultimately good people that no one was being fair too. And the only way I could make that work was to diminish everything they did to you guys. I made every excuse and argument in the world, to you guys, to others, to others in front of you guys… I resented anyone who suggested I was abused. That’s a problem in and of itself… but I resented anyone who suggested you guys were abused too. Which wasn’t fair of me. That wasn’t a call I got to make. It only worked for as long as it did because neither of you were in a real position to tell me to shut up and stop.”

“So to defend my family, I ended up arguing with you guys, and everyone in your position, treating you guys like aggressors and bullies… when really you were just, like…” Kaito frowned, looking away, “...defending yourselves. From people almost impossible to defend yourself against.”

“Almost.” Maki said, looking to Miyako and petting her forehead as the infant snuffled sleepily around her pacifier, “being the key word.”

It was something of an on-going conversation between all of them, but Kokichi was vividly reminded of the first time Dr. Mariah had brought up the power dynamics in their relationship. Not just the miscommunication about the hierarchy in a marriage, but…the fact that Kaito and Shuuichi had had very distinguished statuses in their lives that weren’t exactly acknowledged for…a very long time. Kokichi was almost sure he could remember his partners looking at each other in surprised confusion when their therapist brought the subject up, claiming that it didn’t really affect how they treated each other, no. 

But it did. And the status Kaito grew up with had colored his interactions and approach to his connections with people too. 

Even for not great people, there was still something there, about defending your loved ones. Honestly…to Kokichi, Kerry came to mind. They hadn’t ever tried defending John’s actions to Kokichi, but…they stayed with their brother, and that wasn’t a heinous, morally bankrupt stance to take. 

There were more than a few, but a difference between Kerry staying with their brother, and Kaito’s defense of his family was… John had been reported to his school, and while Kokichi didn’t know the details, he had a hunch that it was less that John decided to switch majors out of social pressure, but that he had been actually kicked out of the track. He had lost his friends, and there was a list out there with his name on it, warning people of his transgressions. There were real consequences for his actions. 

Sure, maybe the trash-talking might’ve hurt the Momotas’ feelings…but they would never be denied anything, no matter what they did. Not unless another one of them took it first. Trash-talking, hating them wasn’t a punishment…it was only an act of stress relief for others. 

But Kaito had never processed that difference in status, had felt it as attacks to his family, so he had rebutted against the criticism. And in the process, had hurt and taken away what little recourse people who did have consequences for their actions had. 

…it took a lot of reflection to realize that, even if, to Maki and Shuuichi, it seemed obvious. 

It didn’t mean that there wasn’t real distress or pain that Kaito felt, hearing people disparage what made up his life, and…honestly, Kokichi thought Shuuichi might feel different (and he was more than valid to feel that way) but Kaito wasn’t delusional to have wanted love from his family, and had felt real pain by their deaths and actual consequences against them…but it did mean that there was a lot of pain that he had to acknowledge from his friends, and acknowledge that it was because of his family. 

And…Kaito was. He was. 

Kokichi gave his family a calm look at that, before he got up, heading off to wash his hands.

“Yeah, you found a way, Maki.” Kaito said, giving her a slightly tired grin. “And… that’s good. That’s great. It just hurt because… I was on the wrong side of that fight. Honestly, I wish I hadn’t been. I wish I had been cheering you on the whole time. I wish I could have offered you that.”

“But I just… resented you.” Kaito confessed, looking down to his sleeping baby, as he confessed, “Resented everyone. I still resent it. I get so… in my gosh darn feelings about all of it. I…”

“...sometimes when I’m watching Miyako? I talk to her like she’s actually going to be a princess when she’s older. Like, in practice.” Kaito admitted, staring at her, “Maybe that’s not entirely scandalous by itself, I don’t think you guys would scold me just just indulging in a little wish fulfillment. But I feel guilty when I do it, because I find myself, like… blaming you guys that she won’t be.” Kaito blinked, before shaking his head, “Which is actual madness. My situation, none of it, was by your design. I’m just blaming everyone else for things my parents decided. If literally nothing had changed and I had been sent here and my parents were still bitterly arguing in the throne room with each other and Kaede and Byakuya had never gone to war, nothing would change about my circumstances. Literally nothing. I am… exactly where my parents put me. This, everything in my life right now? Is still literally what they chose for me. Up to and including my br… Byakuya treating me like some toy he can throw in a toy chest and forget about when it’s convenient, and Kaede thinking I’m some adorable little kid she has to placate every now and again. You guys have never done anything to harm me, or make me less, or to humiliate me… you’ve never done anything but look out for me.”

“But I didn’t want to blame my family for ways I was hurt or embarrassed or let down, so I picked the easy targets. Because I…” Kaito sighed, giving Maki and Shuichi an embarrassed look, “I’m sorry I’m just talking about myself now, this is self-centered. I’ve just been thinking and… sorry. I just… realized while I was downstairs that I might be a little defensive about my family not just because they’re my family, but because… I grew up wanting to be a Momota. The whole package, all of it. I wanted to be… worthy of being an heir. I wanted to be considered intimidating and intelligent and strong. I looked at my family and saw them as being these powerful, unstoppable juggernauts of people, and I wanted to be one of them. And I resented every time someone told me I wasn’t. That I wasn’t like the other Momota’s. It was almost always meant to be a compliment, but that tore me up inside, when people said that. I wanted to be a Momota.”

Kaito looked away, when Shuichi and Maki didn’t say anything to that, as he muttered, “Sorry, sorry, I’m just rambling now. I’m sorry. God, I started so strong too, and now I’m just talking about nothing that matters… I’m not trying to make an excuse. If anything, I’m just trying to say that I recognize how pathetic that is. To take my insecurities and my desire to prove myself to my family out on the people who have been there for me most. You guys have always been there for me, and I was treating you like… servants. Like you, your approval and love, mattered less than the royal family. I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t recognize I was doing it… but I was. And I have been. I’ve been devaluing you.”

“But you guys matter to me way more than my family ever did, in every practical way that isn’t me chasing some stupid fantasy of what it means to be a prince.” Kaito murmured, “I was a moron to put them on a higher pedestal than you. I was wrong. I was incredibly wrong.”

“...guys, please, if you could say anything… you know I can just go on and on and on and I’m worried I’ll say something wrong if I keep at it.” Kaito admitted, his forehead pinched in nervous concern, feeling far less confident now than he had when he had started, staring at Maki and Shuichi, “Please talk to me?”

Shuichi and Maki glanced at each other… before Shuichi turned up his nose a little, “I think I’m going to make you sweat for it more.”

“...eh?” Kaito said, giving Shuichi an incredulous look.

But there was something slightly amused in Shuichi’s eyes, as he said gently, “Give me some time, Kaito, I’m hearing you. And honestly, I appreciate hearing that. Because… it’s like when you told us about refusing to come after us, to show respect to Kokichi. A part of me knew that was the case, and hearing you admit to it made me feel more justified in my frustration with you, even if I couldn’t quite explain why I was so upset without accusing you of things that felt cruel. I don’t want to have to insist that you treat me like I’m less important than your higher ranking husband, or your higher ranking family, because I’m indentured… but hearing you say it does validate those fears that maybe that was what was happening. And those frustrations and suspicions become validated.”

“So… thank you for admitting it.” Shuichi said softly, “But I’m not letting you off the hook yet. You can sweat it out for the night.”

“...hah.” Kaito chuckled a little, giving Shuichi a slightly nervous look as he said, “I’m gonna interpret that positively and assume that means you might tell me things are okay tomorrow?”

“Sure, I might.”

“....ahhhhh.” Kaito whined softly, his left eyebrow twitching. “Ahhhhhhh okay. Maki?”

Maki smiled lightly, a small baby sleeping soundly in her lap. Maki looking incredibly peaceful and calm, in that moment, as she said, “I think the optimistic approach is correct… but also, I have to agree with my fellow indentured. Sweat, Momota.”

Kaito chuckled.

Kokichi had been quick, not wanting to actually leave for a good while, so while he did miss a little, he actually caught most of Kaito’s apology and recognition. 

It was good. Like Shuuichi said, it was a…freeing feeling, maybe, to have your frustrations validated. Not because those things happened, because that was still shitty, but to be sure that what you were frustrated with wasn’t something just in your head. Getting a proper apology for it all was a good next step too, and…well. Kokichi at least hoped that, being able to recognize the behavior a little better now, Kaito would work on cherishing his friends more in the future. 

…he just had some of his own stuff to work through now too. 

…Kokichi couldn’t understand how anyone would want to be a Momota. Momota, as in the title, as Kaito said he wished, rather than a family name. A distinction even now Kokichi struggled with, and just wanted to dismiss, if not for how he had seen the very real issues it caused. 

Smiling as he rejoined the group, Kokichi sat back down at the piano and switched his music. Maybe this song was a little too…melancholic, for the breakthrough that just happened, but Kokichi had always thought it was beautiful. 

If there was more to say, it got lost in the music, the three Luminaries going quiet as Kokichi played. There was still a sense of… distance. Both physically and emotionally. Kaito on one end of the fort, Shuichi and Maki leaning against each other on the other end. Kokichi on the outside of it altogether. Perhaps a silly metaphor, since the fort was right next to the piano and it wasn’t all that big in the first place, their separation almost non-existent if you weren’t aware what was happening. The four sitting in a group.

But it was there, slightly. And as Kaito listened to the pretty music fill the air, he felt lonely in it. Wanting to curl up and around his friends. Wanting to pull them into his chest and whisper warm words as he held them tightly and felt like a physical shield between them and the rest of the world. Wanted to be something they found solid and steadfast and reassuring.

Wanted to feel useful and loved, as he protected them.

But Kaito, unintentionally but entirely recklessly, had ended up being another obstacle, hell, maybe even arguably another abuser in their lives. If not abuser, maybe arguably a bully, at least. Still the kid in some respects who had, in a fit of hurt pride, thrown marbles down a long staircase and demanded the peasant go get it… only to realize in a fit of guilty shock that the ‘peasant’ in question who had run after them was Shuichi. Who Kaito respected and adored and would never want to actively belittle like that. Caught in the crossfire of Kaito’s entitled, spoiled rage.

Kaito, as a kid, had run down the staircase after Shuichi, trying to mitigate some of the damage he had done by helping pick up the marbles… and he supposed as much as he could, he was going to do that again. Scramble around trying his best to pick up the pieces that he had recklessly thrown down. But this time he needed to think about why he had thrown the marbles and said those things in the first place. Face that side of himself, so that people like Maki and Shuichi, and the kitchen staff, and even Kokichi, stopped getting hurt in the crosshairs, Kaito lashing out at a world that didn’t treat him like the Momota he had been born as.

And part of it, he knew, was to stop thinking of Momota’s as something different from everyone else.

…it was going to be hard. He could already tell. It was such a fundamental layer of his world view that denying it felt a little bit like denying the color of the sky.

…but, to continue a metaphor Shuichi had started once… only if he was insisting and screaming the sky was pink.

And it turns out that it’s blue.

-

Amber could have waited till the wedding day, and that had been the original goal… but then it occurred to her, hey, you know what would be cool? If they happened to put Miyako in the little ankle bracelet bling that her aunt had so lovingly and dedicatedly put together for her, and oh, what if Kokichi also wore his ankle bracelet that his kickass friend made so dedicatedly for him, and they could have matching charms added on them to celebrate the occasion.

Wouldn’t that be kickass? Yes. Yes it would be. High five yourself, Amber, you are the best friend.

Heading up the castle with her two new little identical charms for daddy and baby– well, baby and smaller baby– Amber kept in mind what Stacy had asked her to pass along too, though she didn’t feel as confident about that one. Stacy had been half considering setting up a surprise bachelor party to whisk Kokichi away too, just coming by and stealing him in their usual fashion, but Amber pointed out that while their guy was getting married, he wasn’t exactly a bachelor… so, just in case, they were gonna ask him if he felt like being surprised and then stolen away into a bachelor party. And if he said yes, then to backtrack immediately and go Ha Ha, what bachelor surprise party?? Noooo, no one’s getting a bachelor surprise party starting sometime around two, that’d be craaaaaazy, boy get your head out of the clouds, liiiiiiiike sheeeeeeeeeesh.

Feeling like she was winning best friend status of the year, Amber gently knocked on the door, before whispering through it, “Baaaaaaaaaaby– oh! Maki! Hey girl.”

Maki raised an eyebrow at Amber, looked down at the small jewelry bag in her hand, and said, “He’s next door. It might not be a good time. We’ve had a weird day.”

“Liiiike, okay, but knowing you guys ‘weird’ can range from, say, Tangouai managed to challenge Kaito to a danceoff down in the kitchens or a death cult showed up and–”

“There was a sort of fight today.” Maki said, glancing over her shoulder before opening the door slightly, showing Shuichi eating ice cream on the bed, “They’re all sleeping separately tonight.”

“Oh! …” Amber narrowed her eyes, clenching her perfectly manicured nails into a fist, pumping it in front of herself as she whispered, “It is my time.”

“...sure, alright. Good luck.” Maki said, closing the door as Amber headed to the next door.

Knocking gently on the door, Amber tried again: “Baaaaaaaaaby?”

They had spent a good while in the music room, and Kokichi felt like he’d gotten sufficient practice in, though he supposed that wasn’t exactly the point. But he did feel a little more stable--if not exactly better--and they had managed to bring back the couch cushions to the right couches--he was pretty sure--and…now he was just spending time in the nursery, reading on the day bed with his bunny plush tucked into his arm. 

As he’d promised, he was willing to take Miya if she was getting a little too much for Shuuichi and Maki, but…this was pretty soon and…

Kokichi opened the door, looking at Amber in surprise for a moment before he greeted her with a smile. “Am-chan, hey. This is later than you usually visit…it’s nice to see you. What’s up?”

Amber quickly looked around to make sure there was no baby, and then– “BABY!” 

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, bending down to get him fully into a hug, she squeezed him tight for a moment, just holding him… before she huffed, standing up straight and placing both hands on his shoulders. “Get dressed. Are you dressed? You could probably go out in that. Grab your shoes! I’m taking you out!”

Kokichi blinked in surprise again before returning Amber’s hug, the knot in his chest that had been there since the afternoon writhing for a moment. He hadn’t been craving affectionate contact, really--Kaito was free with it, and Shuuichi had sent him off with a sweet kiss before they parted, but…a tight bear hug from a friend, like this…

He let go of a deep breath, chuckling softly, gratefully, before shaking his head. “I would be down for you to steal me away, especially today, but…I promised Shuu-chan and Maki-chan I’d be on stand-by for baby duty. I shouldn’t head out tonight.”

It hadn’t even crossed his mind, when he had first brought up spending the night separately to Shuuichi. Kokichi did have his moments of just going into town for walks, he didn’t only leave the castle when he had plans, but it didn’t occur to him much either. They had plenty of spare bedrooms, why would he even think about leaving?

…but now that Amber proposed it…it sounded kind of nice. Getting a little more space between him and…everything.

Tugging on his hair a little, Kokichi glanced to the shared wall between the nursery and his bedroom. 

“...maybe if it was just for a little bit. I’d still be around for the night, and all…”

Amber had been about to gamely offer just to take the little tyke with them– Miyako was a sweetheart, and Auntie had some kickass charms to show off to her anyway– but seeing the desire in Kokichi’s gaze, mixed with the guilt of the glance… 

Amber put her hands on her hips, leaning her weight a little on them as she said, “Baby, you have Shuichi and Maki in there taking care of baby girl and, like, a legion of babysitters in this castle. Not to mention the big man himself, wherever he is tonight. They can survive without you for a few hours. Come on, I saw your fiance eating ice cream, and you know what that made me think? Ice cream sounds pretty damn good right now.”

It was a good point, and Kokichi was convinced, but one point caused Kokichi’s face to fall, his lips thinning for a moment. “Kai-chan’s spending the night away from home, actually…but you do have a point. And ice cream does sound good. I’ll ask.”

Kokichi did have a pair of hard-soled slippers with him in the nursery, wanting to be able to leave immediately without making a stop in an emergency, but his shoes were in their room anyway. Either way he’d have to come by, so…

…hopefully they wouldn’t be too pissed at him going back on his word. 

Moving one door over, Kokichi gently knocked before peeking in. “Hey…Am-chan wants to take me out for ice cream. Would you guys be okay for a bit?”

“Told you she was stealing him,” Shuichi said, spoon still in his mouth as Maki sat next to him, the two working on a board game together, likely just giving themselves something to do as they talked. It was the Haunted House on the Hill. It looked like they had a good few omen cards between them already. “Sure Kokichi. I’d ask you to bring me some back, but…”

He shrugged at his ice cream that he had in his lap, literally eating it from the carton. 

“Miyako’s fast asleep anyway, I think piano time tuckered her out. Did Nazumi already leave for the day?” Maki asked, brow pinching slightly, “If you’re out past ten, I’m coming to find you. Don’t make me come find you.”

His shoulders relaxed. 

Nodding, Kokichi slipped in to grab his tennis shoes, tugging them on. “Yeah… I told her I wasn’t gonna head out so she could go after dinner,” Kokichi grimaced. “...I’ll keep an eye on the time, promise.”

He sighed, giving them both a soft look as he headed back to the door. “Love you guys.”

They could swing by and ask Nazumi to come with them, her house wasn’t too far from the castle, but…maybe it was stupid. Taking needlessly dangerous risks. But…Kokichi just wanted to get ice cream with his friend and maybe get another hug. 

Meeting Amber in the hall again, he gave her a small smile and a thumbs up. “I’m clear. Wanna go to…like, Elevated Ice Cream? Or you have somewhere else in mind?”

“Elevated sounds good, I looooove their chocolate-peanut butter swirl! I don’t know how they do it, but those chocolate bits literally melt when you bite into them, it’s witchcraft, I swear~” Amber laughed, leading the way down the staircase. 

As they headed into the fading light of the open air, Amber passed along the small jewelry bag she was holding, saying, “Okay! So, Maki gave me some of the deets, so I know you’re not in the best headscape right now. But! I want to show this off to you before we get into all that, because I worked hard on these and I want them to get gushed and praised over before you’re too sad to appreciate all the work I put into them! You’re gonna love it baby, I thought it’d be fun to have something you and Miyako could have to mark the occasion of the wedding! Open, open!”

Inside the jewelry box, were two very small charms that could be attached to the ankle bracelets Amber had made for them. Each charm was a silhouette of three variously sized penguins, with small little linework showing they were holding a fourth, smaller penguin. On the back of the charms was the numbered date of the wedding.

“Obviously you’re already a family, but I thought, well, a penguin family in their fancy best tux’s, all proving themselves to be a cohesive unit as the dads of the littlest penguin! … Also I know you got a whole thing for penguin families so I thought it’d be cute.” Amber smirked, giving Kokichi a wink. “I know you love it. Go ahead and tell me.”

“I literally dream of their sundaes sometimes,” Kokichi giggled, his steps light and quick as usual as he and Amber headed out. “Though according to Kai-chan, I must dream about food a lot.”

Knowing Maki, it was probably the bare bones of the deets, but Kokichi still shot Amber a thankful glance for her being candid with him. It… He did want to talk to someone. He knew he should with his family, but every time he thought about opening his mouth it felt like he was going to trample all over Shuuichi and Maki, and even if Kokichi was deeply proud of Kaito for the understanding he’d come to, sometimes it still felt like talking to a brick wall with him. 

Amber wasn’t Luminary. She was friends with him, so she did have a little insight, but…there were so many nuances, he guessed, that he’d have to explain, and…

…maybe he’d feel more understood explaining to someone who didn’t understand. Like him. 

But before he could get too in his head, Kokichi took the jewelry box with a fond look, opening it up…

And even before they got ice cream, Kokichi’s eyes filled with big, shimmery tears. 

“Ambeeeeeer! Th-they’re a penguin family!”

“Oh, hell yeah, I totally nailed it!” Amber laughed, pumping a fist in victory before reaching over to rub his back a little, giggling some more as he seemed to sway a little, all blubbery over them. “I am so good!”

Giggling more at Kokichi’s reaction, Amber explained, “Like I said, if you guys happen to be dressing in the ankle bracelets on the big day, well, that could be a cute thing to have on. You big fellas get your totally hot rings and all that, but you and Miya get that extra little bling of adorable penguin family-ness~”

“Oh! And while I feel like I’m sabotaging the question a little bit by asking, liiiiike, on this particular night, Stacy was talking about stealing you tomorrow for a bachelor party. Except I don’t really know what she wants to do, since I think we could only get you in a strip club if you had, like, policy paperwork or tax notices or whatever to pass along to them, and beyond that it’d be us taking you somewhere to lament your… single life?? Which I think we missed out entirely on. Could take you dancing and just check out the fine pieces shaking their tush’s without adding poles to it, that could be fun?” Amber mused, before giving Kokichi a sympathetic smile, “But I can imagine maybe you don’t feel entirely like thinking about partying right now. Or maybe you do? I honestly can’t imagine what kind of fight would have you all sleeping separately, like, a hairbreath away from your wedding, baby.”

Kokichi sniffled and blubbered, overcome with cuteness and love for his friend to create a symbol that felt like it really encapsulated everything. “The best, and you know it. Am-chan is a genius! I-I’m wearing pants, but I usually cuff them anyway, so I’ll get to show off to everyone, and Miya still isn’t about shoes, so…so yes! Amber…”

Closing the box up for safe keeping, Kokichi looked up and blinked, trying to get a hold over his tears. He smiled softly at Stacy wanting to set up a sort of bachelor party for him--chuckling a bit at the truth that Kokichi wouldn’t exactly go to a strip club for fun--and while dancing the night away before the bonding ceremony would be fun…

Kokichi sighed. He could breathe around the knot in his chest a little easier for the moment, but… “...Kai-chan disowned Byakuya. His, now, ex-brother.”

“That’s not the fight,” he quickly clarified, “Just…one of the reparations from it, I guess, but… That’s kind of the level we’re at right now.”

Amber shot Kokichi a genuinely surprised look, before asking, “What? Just now? Iiiiisn’t that, liike, the guy who straight up murdered their parents? Kaito didn’t disown him way back in that day? I’ll be honest, I heard all those rumors and sort of thought that crazy bastard was out of the picture long before we all started hanging out.”

Sure, it wasn’t official that Byakuya murdered the Luminary King and Queen, but the rumors were pretty confident that it was a pretty open secret that he did. Apparently he had done the absolute bare minimum to deny it. Tragic, but also, like, kinda last winters news. 

“So, wait, what’s the fight then? Somehow I doubt we’re ‘pro-parent murderer family members’, so I doubt you’re all sleeping separate from that.” Amber guessed.

Kokichi returned a very tired, blunt look. “Yeah. Kai-chan didn’t disown Byakuya when he murdered their parents, or was a dick to him his whole life, or treated Maki-chan and Shuu-chan like shit, or planned to base Luminary’s foreign trade off human trafficking. None of us were pro-parent murderer family members.”

He sighed. He was frustrated, but Amber didn’t deserve his roundabout ire. 

“...Maki-chan shared one of her worst memories with us. Something that Byakuya caused,” Kokichi shook his head a little, his face pinching in as he lowered his voice. “And…that was the tipping point, for Kai-chan, to realize just…how much he was taking her and Shuu-chan’s love for granted, while defending their abusers.”

Another sigh, and Kokichi ran a hand through his hair. “...we talked a lot, and we have another therapy appointment tomorrow to continue it, and…and Kai-chan’s come to a lot of realizations about himself, and I am proud of him for that…but I’m so frustrated with him.”

“Oooooh…” 

Amber flipped her hair over her shoulder, tilted her head and looked up into the sky, crossed her arms over her chest, and huffed.

“...baaaaby? I know you love him, so I gotta say this first: do I, as the friend you are venting to right now about the husband, have blanket permission to talk shit? Or should I, like, hold back?”

Kokichi crossed his arms, his face pinched, as he thought it over. As mad as he was at Kaito, he had still tried to mediate for their family, not leaving him against Shuuichi and Maki’s combined ire.

…but he wasn’t with his family right now. And he knew Amber wouldn’t go pointing everything they talked about tonight towards his partners on a better day. 

“...yeah. I’ll tell you if something genuinely crosses a line, but…yeah.”

“That’s a little ‘ew’.” Amber said plainly, raising her eyebrow at Kokichi, “Like… eeeeew. What do you mean he defended their abusers? I don’t know why I assumed Maki and Shuichi didn’t know Kaito’s family, but…” Amber shrugged, “I hear royalty is weird in Luminary. Like, the average person can’t meet them at all, which has always sounded a little impossible to maintain. How do you get anything done if you can’t talk to the peeps in charge?”

Kokichi nodded tiredly. ‘Ew’ was acceptable. It was something that Kokichi felt, even if he had long stopped actually calling things about Luminary gross, and had tried very hard to see it as a place going through growing pains. 

But…it was pretty ‘ew’. 

“Yeah…” he sighed. “Shuu-chan and Maki-chan worked for Kai-chan’s family, though. They lived in the castle, and they and their mentors worked directly under members of his family.”

Kokichi’s shoulders slumped. “Kai-chan’s family were, and are, people, and…and it’s normal he’s mourning his parents, you know? And it sucks, because he’s in a place where, sometimes, people are actively celebrating their murders. I…I try to be the person Kai-chan can talk about them with, because I know no one else will just let him.”

“...but they were nightmare people.” Kokichi glared at the ground, lowering his arms a bit to grip his elbows. “They all treated other people like dirt. Shuu-chan was constantly forced into harassing people because of Kai-chan’s mom’s whims, Byakuya did that horrible thing to Maki-chan, and even his cousin, the queen now, who people considered one of the better ones? Is still a constant manipulator and domestic abuser. Today, Shuu-chan and Maki-chan said that Kai-chan’s dad was probably the best because he acted like they didn’t even exist, even when they were in the same room.”

Kokichi squinted at the ground. “...and Kai-chan still idolized them. Desperately wanted their love. And…I-I can get that, you know? But Kai-chan still had a bunch of other people around him that didn’t treat others like chess pieces or bugs, and didn’t abuse him, and do love him unconditionally…and he treated that love like it was second string.”

“Because…Momotas are…ideal…or something,” Kokichi grumbled.

Amber wrinkled her nose a little, before sighing. “You always hate to see it. And, like, between us, baby? Like, I know about all the psychological stuff that keeps people in those relationships, I knoooow it’s not really their fault and if they’re sticking around it’s almost entirely because of circumstances outside of their control, like, I get that.”

“But man, that does not make it any less aggravating, seeing someone just hold onto their shitty relationships.” Amber said, rolling her eyes a little, “Like you just want to grab them and shake them, or at least I do. They pull this stupid bullshit where it’s, like, obvious everyone around them needs to run and get the hell away as fast as they can, and even the person with them gets it, but then the next day they’re telling you ‘you don’t know the whole story’ and ‘they have a whole different side to them people don’t see’ and ‘it’s gonna be different from now on’...”

Amber scowled, something frustrated running through her face as she said darkly, “I hate that last one. Lost a friend to that last one.”

“I mean, we are just talking abusive relationships ultimately, right? Just with extra Luminary nonsense on top of it?” Amber shrugged, looking down at Kokichi, “Or am I simplifying it too much?”

Kokichi was sure he’d heard Kaito say ‘you don’t know the whole story’ verbatim before. And…well, he’d actually been right. But it still didn’t change how horrible Byakuya had been to him. 

He shot Amber a quietly sympathetic look, briefly aching for a friend who had been lost…but he sighed, nodding. “Ultimately. Though the ‘extra Luminary nonsense’ feels like it adds a lot more.”

They didn’t have any turns to make for a bit, and into the evening the roads weren’t too crowded. There was a cool, autumn breeze in the air, rattling leaves not quite ready to fall yet. Kokichi closed his eyes. 

“...I don’t understand how Kai-chan could look at any aspect of his family at all and go…man, I wanna be that. I’ve hated every one I’ve met, and the stories I hear, even innocuous-meaning ones make me feel sick. I don’t get it…”

“Wants to be what?” Amber asked, missing some context as she gave Kokichi a mildly bewildered look, “...an abuser? Sorry, I know that’s a leap, I’ve just missed a step in this thought process. What’s he want to be?”

Opening his eyes, Kokichi gave his friend an apologetic look. It was hard to explain, and he knew he wasn’t doing a great job. “...when he was apologizing to Shuu-chan and Maki-chan, Kai-chan said that…part of him devaluing them was because he was insecure and so badly wanted to be considered a ‘Momota’.”

“Not that he wasn’t part of his family…though fuck knows they never treated him, or most of each other like one,” Kokichi groused, “But…like being a Momota is a status, or…an entirely different type of living thing, “above” being human. Unstoppable and untouchable and powerful, and…”

A harsh sound grunted out from Kokichi’s throat, a disgusted expression twisting his face. “...he wants to be something that’s entirely predicated on the idea that people are “below” him, and that demands them to be demeaned and taken advantage of, at the very kindest. Kai-chan’s struggled with, like, class shit since I met him--one of the first conversations we ever had included him calling people peasants--but…”

“I don’t understand,” Kokichi growled lowly, though his face was more desperate than angry. “Why would anyone want that? Look up to that?”

Amber’s brows pinched a little, still looking a little confused. “...class difference? What, like in storybooks?”

“Oh, oh, well… okay, yeah, I guess that makes sense, kinda…” Amber tilted her head a little, trying to imagine it, but still really only getting vague images of knights on horses and princess’s at balls and peasants vaguely moving hay bales in the background. In some respect Amber had kinda known that was the situation in Luminary, and maybe even a lot of other countries… but it was such a foreign idea here that it really was only relevant as, like, weird worldbuilding for fantasy stories that seemed to need unrealistic systems of governments to ensure certain plot points happened.

Not a system that could actually function for more than a month, maybe, in the real world. Dicea didn’t really have a concept of ‘class difference’. Even the Ouma name was more a job title than anything else. 

So Amber, who had only spoken to the Luminaries in the most shallow ways possible, was struggling to keep up a little bit, admittedly… before settling on, “It kinda sounds like how in middle school and, let’s face it, up to at least freshmen year, where like everyone wants to be in the ‘popular’ crowd… but, like, the popular crowd is literally a small group of maybe five friends who literally don’t talk to anyone else, so, liiiiiiike, that’s kinda the total opposite of being ‘popular’, so how the hell did they sell us all on this idea that they were super popular but the rest of us hanging out in our way wider social circles liiiiiike weren’t?”

“Because, baby?” Amber sighed, shaking her head, “That was totally me. One hundred percent. I’d have sold my left titty to sit at the popular table. I totally bought in.”

Kokichi sighed. “Yeah. Like…it’s literally not a joke. In Luminary, they take that stuff 100% seriously. Like, limiting who you can talk to without scandal, and what people can have what jobs, and…and, fuck, when you get married, first of all, it’s a contract with the government there, and half of all spouses give up their rights and freedoms with it. It’s to the point my family gets nervous about me just…talking to people there, if we go visit.”

Sending Amber a side-look--and dashing ahead slightly to open the door to the ice cream parlor for her--that…did sound kinda right, but…

“I never went to public school,” Kokichi shrugged. “The only people I knew my age growing up were Waku and Denji.”

“Ew, don’t go to Luminary, what a waste of a vacation.” Amber said immediately, like it was obvious, “Go to Novis, that place is hopping~”

Snorting a little, Amber headed in, practically strutting through the open door, before getting behind a small line. Looking up at the menu, even if she had seen it hundreds of times already, searching through the offerings like there might be something new to pique her interest as she said, “Oh, it’s a thing, baby. You just get these kids who’s number one skillset is selling everyone else on this idea that they’re living some pipe dream that all the rest of us wrinkled slobs could only dream of. And then you grow up and look back on it and realize all they had was a little bit of charisma and the willingness to just tell people around them how much better they were. Basically just riding entirely on hot air.”

“But, I’ll admit… there’s something about someone telling you, over and over, that they’ve got it all figured out that makes you start to believe them.” Amber sighed, “Couldn’t tell you why. Maybe we all just assume, like, damn, someone’s gotta have it all figured out. Could be these snot nosed brats, they sure sound confident about it. How would we know? It’s not like we have it figured out. Someone’s gotta have it all worked out.”

“I feel like we’ve got off topic.” Amber admitted, placing her finger delicately on her bottom lip, thinking about it, “Look, being entirely on your side of it and loving Kaito because you love him and also like the guy seems solid when I talk to him and I always have a good time watching him reach up to grab something from a higher shelf for you, that boy could do some yoga in your courtyard and I’d be pulling up with a lawnchair and a lemonade to watch… you sure you’re guy just isn’t a bit of a bully who’s, like, kinda grown out of it? Or, worse…”

Amber shuddered, “One of those bastards with, like, bully-envy syndrome. That’s not a real term, I made it up just now, but it is a thing, and as soon as we order our ice cream here and I am gonna tell you all about my new trademarked super serious, super genius psychological disorder thing!”

The person working the counter waited patiently for Amber to stop, giving her a slightly curious look at that, “...may I take your order then?”

Kokichi quirked a small smile. He had a feeling that going to Luminary would be more stressful than he’d ever consider a vacation…but, hell, he’d gotten kidnapped and tortured by death cultists on the first vacation he’d ever taken. He could straighten his back against the culture shock and enjoy the things he really wanted to experience. 

Was that picking and choosing the culture a bit? Yeah…but Kokichi could live with that. 

…charisma, huh? All of his family had told him about that, when it came to the Momotas. It still seemed…ridiculous, to Kokichi, to have the most important decision-makers of your nation obeyed just because of that, to be completely deferred to…but he supposed he could come to understand it. 

But believing your own bullshit to that point, putting others down… How Kaito acted sometimes…

It had been a misunderstanding, but…wasn’t Kokichi’s first impression of Kaito essentially seeing him as a bully? And…it was horribly common for people to start exerting power on those weaker than them, because they were being hurt by people stronger than them, and they just wanted some form of control… Kaito had basically admitted to that, in his apology. 

Kokichi blinked out of his thoughts, startling slightly as the person at the counter asked for their order. Looking a bit sheepish, he asked, “Could I have two scoops of cherry-chocolate chunk in a bowl, please?”

“Sure,” The clerk nodded, looking to Amber. “And you?”

“Mmmmmm I know I was gushing about the chocolate-peanutbutter, but looking at it now? Cheesecake sounds soooooooooo good, like, oh my gaaawwd–nnnnnnnnnn yep! Two scoops of cheesecake in mine! Oh, but can you put, like, a shit-ton of chocolate sprinkles in it?” Amber smiled brightly.

“Will do.” The clerk nodded, heading to the side counter to start making up their order… before asking over her shoulder, “Bully-envy syndrome?” 

“Okay! Okay okay okay!” Amber said, putting up her hands, “First draft of my master thesis! And keep in mind, this is entirely, or, almost entirely from me talking to other professional wrestling fans who, like, come up with their ‘stage personas’ and stuff like that. Like, they invent their characters, essentially, their backstories, their motivations, all that stuff. Cool stuff! But there’s one type of character I see over and over and ooooover again and it’s actually kinda gross? I mean, I don’t tell them, but it’s just ‘blegh.” 

“And that type of character is someone who was, like, bullied in school, or bullied by their work, or bullied by their family, or whatever, right? That’s their tragic backstory… but their character will, in their vengeance against their bullies, usually pull some waaaaay more heinous shit! Like, the character was bullied by the popular kid in school, and so in vengeance, the wrestler went and murdered all of their friends and family and also drop kicked their puppy into the sun and suplex’d their grandma for good measure, and after their blood bath everyone in the school still alive, like, stands up and claps and calls them the strongest fighter in the world.” Amber explained, rolling her eyes, “And yes, that’s a real wrestling persona someone’s explained to me, and you know what? Not even the most grody one I’ve heard! You do not want to hear about the wrestler who goes around slut-shaming all the hot female wrestlers because in his tragic backstory his girlfriend cheated on him. That stuff gets gross.”

“Oh, yeah, I see that all the time. See it in short stories.” The clerk nodded, drenching Ambers order in sprinkles, bringing them their order, “I do these little writer/reader groups, and yep~ See that all the time. You two talking about someone like that?”

“Mmmmm, maybe not that extreme. I’m just pointing out that some people, when they’re bullied, all their daydreams really equal just them being an even bigger bully, but people loving them for it… again,” Amber said, looking down at Kokichi, raising an eyebrow, “Not… quite that extreme, maybe? But there’s something in that field, I’m betting.”

As they shuffled a little over to the side, Amber talking over one of the freezer cases, Kokichi’s eyebrows raised. He was no stranger to revenge fantasies, even before he’d met his family. Though it was rarely actually a solution to anything, Kokichi figured it was a pretty natural impulse to lash out and…enact your pain on the world, or specific people, after you’d been hurt. Nothing all that wrong with the fantasy of it, probably stress-relieving, to an extent, but just…not something that would help in real life. 

And then going above and beyond the pain that was done to you, even to people who had nothing at all to do with it…

“Oh, what the fuck,” Kokichi murmured softly. Through Amber, he’d come to know what a ‘heel’ was, but…that kind of personality went beyond something fun to cheer against. 

Thanking the clerk for the ice cream, Kokichi sighed and shook his head. “Not that extreme. I’d argue that Kai-chan’s never come close to matching what his family’s done, let alone surpassing it…but maybe there’s something in that field.”

Kokichi wilted a bit. “...he’s gotten better about it, but he has, like…blatantly bullied people when he’s stressed out and frustrated before. And…he has this thing, with the kitchen staff at home, and…by now I don’t think a lot of people even care, but he brings it up as if it’s this really big thing all the time and…he’s said recently that he’s not even considered trying to talk about it or apologize.”

“Kitchen staff at home? You live up in the castle, or just, like, super extra about meal prep?” The clerk asked.

“Okaaaay, thank youuuu, have a good daaaaaay.” Amber drawled, placing her hand on Kokichi’s back and steering him away, the two heading outside, “Nosy~ Let’s sit over there, it’s nice out.” 

As Amber led Kokichi to some outdoor tables, settling in, Amber mused, “Honestly, people just love a good bit of gossip… and that’s me, I’m people. Kaito’s got beef with the kitchen? Phew, bad move on his end. You do not want to bite the hand that feeds… mm! Cheesecake was the right choice~”

Kokichi gave the clerk a small smile before letting Amber steer him away, settling at the table and just…sighing around his spoonful for a moment. Letting the ice cream and chocolate chunks melt on his tongue. Ice cream was a good call. 

“He is friends with Chako, and she’s been on the staff for years. And he helps out with prep sometimes, especially with mashed potatoes and he’s really good at it. So…yanno, that’s why I don’t think most people are that bothered.” Another pause for ice cream. “He applied for a job there months ago, and got turned down, so…I think that might be part of it. He’s never really had, like, employment jobs, and he got turned down by a few, so…I think it hit him pretty hard.”

“...he’s done a lot to assimilate here. And I feel like…like I’m always pointing out his flaws, or like what he’s done isn’t enough.” Kokichi looked off to the side, something heavy in his gaze. “I…I never want him to think that I don’t appreciate all the things he’s done and tried. But…I don’t think we’ve really touched on, like…the outlooks he has that formed all the stuff he’s had to change. And…now that’s coming to a head.”

“Well, you said something, like, that one of the first conversations you two ever had was over peasants?” Amber mused, licking her spoon clean before sucking against the metal a little, half just playing with it as she thought, “So it’s not like you guys haven’t been talking about it. And I’ll be honest, I don’t know how you tell someone they’re acting like a bully or have bully envy without kinda just straight up calling them a dickhead at the same time. Just cause it hurts their feelings doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be said. I mean, not from me, I don’t tell those people that, but…”

Amber shrugged, “Honestly, that’s because I don’t really care about them. Like, alright then, go on with your stupid self, you’re gonna stop being my personal problem in roughly ten minutes when I get out of this conversation. But if you care about someone and love them and want to spend a lot of time with them? Sometimes you gotta hurt their feelings and tell them when they’re being, like, supes cringe.”

“And if he can’t handle real talk? Well, that’s another lame thing about him that you’re gonna have to tell a man about. Otherwise he’s gonna walk around thinking everything’s fine and hunky-dory and you’re gonna be running around behind him apologizing to people on his behalf.” Amber shook her head before pointing at Kokichi with her spoon, “As your bestie? Yeah, I’m veto’ing that. You’re better than the spouse constantly doing damage control. Make him manage his own damage.”

Kokichi nodded, his gaze going lower with every point. They had talked about perceptions of class, and how that related to society, and how it related to the self, and…it was something they had been working on for months. Over a year, for some parts of it. Kokichi can been candid, and then he stopped, and then he tried to be again…and Kaito shut down, or got angry, or deflected…and sometimes sat, and accepted, and absorbed. 

It wasn’t like this was something unsaid between them. 

…Kokichi was tired of damage control. Of just…accepting stories with a laugh, or an ‘ugh, right?’ when it was just…horrifying. 

By the end of her advice, Kokichi’s head was down on the table, fingers tipping his spoon around in his bowl. “...maybe I should’ve let him get detained…”

“Ooooooh, see, that’s a red flag right there.” Amber observed, scooping up another glob of ice cream and shaking her head, before reaching over to give Kokichi a small pat on the head, “Man, I hope that’s not as loaded a statement as it sounds.”

Kokichi shook his head, squishing his cheek into the table. “No… I gave a character witness, when we had that trouble at the coast last year. I don’t even know if he would’ve gotten detained, actually--I really doubt it was one testimony that changed his penalty, even if people do give me a lot of ethos credit. But I did pay his fine for him, and…that kinda turned into a thing between us. Me silently doing damage control in the background.”

“Oh, baby, noooooo.” Amber groaned, cleaning off her spoon and asking real quick, “Can I have a small bite of yours to see how it tastes? You can have a bite of mine.”

“Trouble at the coast… oh! Right, I remember Stacy and Temp talking about that. Your guy got into some massive fight, right? Heard he broke the guys jaw or something. Tragedy what happened after that, really getting into some brawl should have been the worst thing that happened to that poor family.” Amber sighed, before recalling with a sudden stern look, “And you got caught up in all that bullshit, didn’t you? Oh, baby, weren’t you attacked by cultists on that trip? You shouldn’t have been doing damage control for anything after that, you should have been in a constant bubble bath being showered in chocolates. What do you mean you were taking care of his shit?”

Kokichi nodded and slid his bowl over…but he did pick up his head to take a spoonful of Amber’s ice cream, making sure to get an acceptable amount of sprinkles with his taste. Ooh…rich and a little tangy, the chocolate just going right with it… That was good.

Lowering himself again, Kokichi sighed. “...yeah. My family always talks about just…how well I handled everything then. But I barely remember it, or any of the days after, moment-to-moment. But…I’d already given my statement at the community center, before I got kidnapped, and…by the time we were heading home, my dad and the vets were coming back, and my family had planned to stay in Maki-chan’s room for a couple days…”

Another sigh. “...I know I should’ve just…let him pay the fine. If just to show him how our justice system here works…even if he hates it. I just…didn’t want things going even worse for him.”

Amber raised an eyebrow, “Does he hate it? What’s wrong with our justice system? You can’t convince me Luminary has something better, I’ve heard those people will murder each other over literally anything.”

Kokichi let out a harsh snort. “Shuu-chan literally told me today that ‘murder is actually illegal in Luminary’. He hates it ‘cause to him it feels like nothing’s ever resolved, and like people get away with things. Except, to him it feels like the social punishments are way worse, ‘cause making any sort of misdeed public is the worst thing you could ever do to someone in Luminary, and paints the person that exposed it as…I dunno. Bad.”

At that, Amber gave Kokichi a mildly startled look… before pointing out, “Isn’t this the same guy who, like, sent the same damn info about that Cedar woman to, like… literally everyone? I’ve heard that story showed up off-continent. Man, your guy must have been pissed.” Amber mused, pouting down at her nearly empty bowl of ice cream, “How did we get through these so quick? We needed bigger scoops.”

“Anyway, maybe he’s just projecting on us?” Amber shrugged, still pouting at the bowl, trying to take smaller bites like that might make up for the lack of ice cream still left in the bowl, “Like, you said all of his family were abusive, right? Abused him, abused his friends, murdered each other. I don’t know if I can think of a punishment more definite then ‘being dead’, which seems to be his parents fate, and his ex-brother losing that war of his… but maybe Kaito’s just mad at himself that he never did anything to punish them? I mean, this is the guy who breaks jaws and runs smear campaigns by himself. Maybe he’s just mad he didn’t do more.”

Kokichi nodded tiredly, similarly mourning his ice cream. Shuuichi had the right idea, getting a whole carton. “And he was…really uncomfortable with it. But it was what he came up with that he could do more than what the courts were doing and wouldn’t upset me. Before he asked permission to send the letters out, he asked me if I wanted her dead.”

While he shrugged, a small furrow appeared between Kokichi’s eyebrows. “...I dunno. He has…processed enough, that he has gotten mad at his family a few times now, but…most the time, he’s just gotten sad. Asking why they didn’t love him, and what he did wrong so that they didn’t love him. He’s talked about taking something, anything out on Byakuya…once. And even though he’s furious at his cousin, I’ve never heard him so much as grumble about anything bad happening to her.”

“Really? Man, I was way off on the vengeance thing then.” Amber admitted, resting her chin in her palms, pouting a little, “So, what, is he being a bully to people like Maki and Shuichi? Like, is this maybe just a thing against poor people? That’s what ‘classism’ basically is, right? Poor people and rich people?”

“Or is it literally his blood family just can do no wrong?” Amber guessed next, “Or it’s his fault if they did do something wrong, is kinda what you’re making it sound like. Look, either way, I can see why you’re frustrated. I’m only hearing about this third person and I’m already frustrated trying to understand him. He’s got issues.”

“There’s more to it in Luminary, other distinctions they draw, but…essentially,” Kokichi nodded, “And…it’s kinda both, since his blood family are the richest people in Luminary.”

“But…yanno, he’s realizing that, and he has apologized, so…” Kokichi let out a small, aggravated sound before he gave Amber a grateful look. “...yeah. He does. I’m sorry if this is getting to be too much…”

“Naaaaah, I’m into it. I’m just saying, like, I can relate to how you’re feeling, if how you’re feeling is ‘what the hell, guy?’ I’d need a break from him for the night too.” Amber huffed. “And apologizing is good, but that doesn’t make that anything happened at all any less of a headache. Like, okay, great, you’re sorry, but your husbands been dealing with this nonsense for a whole year, and your friends even longer… that’s a lot to deal with. Like, that’s a lot you have to work through, ya know? Not even thinking about him, like, that’s a looooot for you to process.”

“And honestly, the fact that you’re having this revelation and fight and whatever, like, riiiiiight before it’s time to put on the big smiles and proclaim your everlasting love? Phew…” Amber sighed, shaking her head a little, giving Kokichi a sympathetic look, “That sucks, baby. Like, no doubts, totally not pre-planned… but that still sucks.”

Yeah…yeah. It didn’t mean he loved Kaito any less, and…honestly, it didn’t even make Kokichi think Kaito was a worse person--even if it was all coming to a head, there…wasn’t so much that Kokichi didn’t already know about his husband, the signs there from the beginning--but…it meant he was hurt and disappointed and tired, and he needed space to be those things. 

“It is pretty shitty timing, huh,” Kokichi laughed dryly, picking his head up from the timing. “We did need to get into it, but, like…damn, Dr. Mariah, couldn’t wait ‘til next session to dig into this, huh? Another point of ridiculousness for us.”

“Is it something worth delaying the celebrations and stuff?” Amber asked, raising an eyebrow, “Liiiike, I know you guys set up a band and got a space rented out and sent out those pretty invitations, which I now have in a scrapbook, thankyouverymuch… but it’s not like it’s vital you get married in a few days. It’s just a party, it can wait until you guys are in a better mood. Unless someone’s traveled a real long way for it, I guess? And even then, liiiiike… oh well?”

“I don’t think so,” Kokichi shook his head. “As much of a pain it’d be to delay everything, it’s still something worth doing if we weren’t in the right space for it. We’re hurt, but…”

A small, sweet smile pulled the corners of Kokichi’s mouth up. His gaze dropped, but not in fatigue or defeat--just going far away with the bashfulness of love. “...it something we all really want. If circumstances had been different, we would’ve been married ages ago--Kai-chan and Shuu-chan have been each other’s for years, and I declared my devotion like…last winter.”

“We don’t want to wait even longer, even with this going on.”

Kokichi sighed softly, raising his gaze with a little shrug. “Or, at least that’s how I feel. Shuu-chan asked earlier if things were ruined for the wedding, and both Kai-chan and I said no, and Shuu-chan didn’t say anything about wanting to postpone, so…I think we’re still on.”

“Well, then I’ll be there with bright smiles the day of~” Amber promised, her eyes lighting up a little… before she siiiiighed, “Though, I’ll be honest. I’m starting to see why Maki gets her kicks giving him weird, aggressive earrings. Here I was thinking this whole time she just secretly had a thing for guys with accessories.”

Laughing a little to herself, Amber’s face suddenly went serious. “...seriously, though. Kokichi. I’ll take it on good faith if you say it… but this is someone you want to be with? You’re the only person I’ve ever met in an arranged marriage… you’re not settling? You’re actually happy with this person?”

“It’s a much better alternative to stabbing him,” Kokichi nodded, eyes growing tired again as, with the context of this conversation…he had tried a whole hell of a lot to keep his friends from the legal consequences of their actions. To think he had once disapproved of the idea Kaito had been doing the same. 

Though, even with everything…

Kokichi gave Amber a soft look. “I am. It’s hard, I won’t say it isn’t, but…he really makes me happy, Am-chan. He has flaws, things that we really need to work through, but he has a lot of virtues too. He’s an incredible father, a caring partner, a wonderful friend…I’d be losing a lot of light in my life if we split, not even starting to get on all the other practical issues that’d cause.”

Amber nodded, “Alright. Again, baby, I’m ready to take your word for it at this point! And like I said before, Kaito’s always seemed solid enough in person, if a little awkward. That man’s got an emo side a mile wide.” Amber snickered, “I remember the first thing we ever talked about was him dropping some, like, wild shit about Luminary politics out of nowhere at the dance club… and he also took it in pretty good stride when me and Stacy told him we thought sex had to be observed by priests in Luminary.” Amber added in, shrugging a little, “Like, he’s kinda carelessly extra, but he can be a pretty fun guy to talk to when you get him to, like, actually be in a conversation, rather than just rambling about whatever’s on his mind.”

“And ultimately it’s most important how you feel about it.” Amber shrugged, “If he makes you happier than he does pissed off? Good. And if he doesn’t? You can always tell me alllllll about it, baby, I am here for that ‘bitch he did what??’ action. One hundred percent, got it?”

“I like his rambles too,” Kokichi hummed, smiling a little more. “My guy’s got a lot of things swirlin’ around at any given time. I know I can get kinda scattered too, so maybe that’s just a good way we work together.”

Giggling softly, Kokichi gave Amber a warm, fond look. He’d said it before, but…he was so glad he decided to talk to Amber at the club bar that night. She really was a true friend. “Thank you. I know you’re still talkin’ about your future tree to climb, but whether it’s bemoaning the search or wanting to chat when the time comes…I’m here for you too, you know?”

“Oh, I know… and I know that every good, tall man in the world is taken! Ah!” Amber groaned, putting her head in her hands, before huffing as she gave Kokichi an exasperated look, “Even you potentially throwing one back into the wild wouldn’t help me, since bro code would dictate I can’t snag down an ex. I know I’m not a bro, but you’re half of the equation, so looks like I’m shit out of luck. Blegh.”

“If Kai-chan and I ever mutually split on good terms, I give you my bro-blessing to shoot your shot,” Kokichi nodded sagely, before offering Amber a positively magnanimous smile. “I can’t say I think you’d two be particularly romantically compatible, but…that’s because I’m over the moon for my guy and I don’t want to imagine him with anyone else, Shuu-chan obviously aside.”

Laughing, Kokichi gave his friend an urging hum, feeling more like getting into their usual gossip now that he was feeling a little better. “Kai-chan actually made another new friend recently. He’s like, Maki-chan’s height, and also maybe a teenager, but Kai-chan said that he said that his boss is taller than Kai-chan, so?” Kokichi shrugged. “They’re out there.”

“Ooooh, a new mountain to climb?” Amber smirked, “Tell Kaito if he loves you, he’ll play wingman and hook a girl up~”

Amber wasn’t actually interested in Kaito, even if at some point he was available. She just wanted to make Kokichi smile, and for as sweet as the guy was, he got very smirky when Amber lamented the lack of Kaito’s in her life. Why not prompt the guy to brag and strut a little. 

Looking down at her depressingly empty bowl, Amber sighed. “Alright, decision time. Do we start heading back… or go for seconds? Terrible for my waistline, but it could be a ‘go for seconds’ kind of day.”

Kokichi laughed. “You know he’s willing even without me asking…but I could light a fire under his butt. Man…we gotta go out clubbing again sometime. To find your giant, yes, but…just to have some fun too. Maki-chan was starting to teach Mi-Mi to dance today, you know? I gotta keep my skills up to keep up with my daughter.”

Mirroring Amber’s gaze to the bowls, Kokichi sighed softly. It…probably would be a good idea to start heading back. Even if they didn’t end up needing him on standby for Miyako, Kokichi just felt better about being there. And…it was getting later into the evening. Not even close to 10 yet, but…still. 

…but ice cream. 

“I think,” Kokichi decided in his centuries’ old wisdom, “That I wanna get a cone, and we can kinda meander walking back. The exercise cancels out having seconds, right?”

“Absolutely! Plus all those stairs in the castle for you? It’s like you didn’t have ice cream at all!” Amber decided, shooting up and, with a beaming smile at Kokichi, gesturing towards the entrance again, “Let’s get our cones… also. Am I hearing right? Or shouuuulllld I teeeeeeeelll Staaaaaaacyyyyyy???” 

She drawled off, letting him fill in the rest.

Kokichi grinned, collecting their bowls to bring into the dish bin as they reentered the parlor. “I think I’ll be too tired after therapy tomorrow to do a proper bachelor party…but let’s plan something soon. Tim and Shuu-chan are starting school when the term starts, but until, like, the start of Mid-Fall? I don’t have a lot of things planned after the wedding.”

“So, let’s party~”

-

Kaito knew that his husband was hoping Kaito would find a friend to stay with that night. That he’d find someone to maybe talk things out to, or at least take some comfort in hanging out with… but honestly, Kaito was looking forward a little bit, to a room to himself, in some strange, unfamiliar place. It was sometimes nice, to step outside of yourself a little. To walk away from familiar things. 

Kaito had been perfectly content with that idea, as he headed out to the gate, breathing in deeply. He’d spend the evening with himself, think things over, give himself a minute to reset without the pain of his family staring him in the face. Tomorrow he’d be ready to face this again, ready to hear what they had to say, ready to be who he should be for them. And tonight would be for himself. 

He just had to go and give his approval for the final outfits for the wedding.

It was purely a courtesy– it was too late for any serious changes to the clothes, and besides, he and Denji had already gone over everything in pretty excruciating detail. But the final product was meant to be ready today, and Kaito had promised he’d come by and ‘approve’ of the final product… which was really just an elaborate way of saying he’d come and adequately gush over Denji’s work before the wedding day. It was pre-promised, and Kaito didn’t mind doing it… but admittedly, as he knocked on the designers door, he knew he wasn’t in the best headspace for gushing, though he kept a grin on his face as he waited.

…he waited all of five seconds before knocking more. Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock

The door opened abruptly, Denji looking up with a sour look before huffing and turning to strut back into the room, leaving Kaito to follow. “Took you long enough. I’ve been ready for hours, but no, I certainly don’t need to use my dress forms for anything else, do I?”

While their words were sharp, there was a certain giddy excitement to Denji as they walked over to several sets of clothes, some hanging on a rack, while others were still up on said dress forms. They’d made Kokichi’s original wedding yukata before, but considering the princes were breaking more from tradition with this wedding, Denji found themself having quite a bit more fun. 

For the wedding itself, Kokichi had commissioned a white suit, the lapels relaxed but not particularly wide, and the pants a little short and able to be cuffed, just how he liked them. While simple at a glance, there were sections of subtle, reflective flat beads on certain areas, meant to catch the light and make Kokichi look like he was glittering. 

For the bonding ceremony, his outfit was a navy blue top with a choker collar that opened into a narrow slit most of the way down his chest, the bodice formfitting but the sleeves bulky and cinching above the elbow, giving the illusion of a shoulder cape. While it was a full shirt, it was meant to be worn with high waisted trousers with a thick waistband, the legs flaring slightly and hiding peekaboo panels at the side in red, matching the interior lining. 

It was honestly Denji’s favorite piece they’d ever made for their brother. 

Kaito grinned, shrugging a little, “Sorry, it’s been a busier day than expected. Thanks for keeping them ready this whole time!” Though, Kaito wasn’t sure where else Denji had intended to put them. Was he gonna… fold them? Put them in a drawer? They were all pretty elaborate pieces, it’d be tough to hang them in a closet.

And wow, were they beautiful.

Kaito found himself going to Kokichi’s clothes first, lighting up a little at the sight of them. He made a small, appreciative whistle, reaching out and lightly placing a hand on the choker, before running his fingers lightly over the puffy sleeves. Smiling as he imagined Kokichi in them, his husband preening a little in clothes that were easy to move in. Hopefully this bonding ceremony would be easier on him. No dead animals this time. Just a somewhat pissed off snake.

Looking at his wedding suit brought back memories. It reminded him a little of how parts of Kokichi’s outfits had shimmered, in those early days. Kaito recalled fondly the half-cape Kokichi had been wearing at the proposal. Shimmering like rainbows… “As always, Denji, your work is incredible. Kokichi’s going to be breathtaking in these.”

Then he looked and gave Shuichi’s outfits fond looks. His fiance had picked things that looked both professional and comfortable. And, surprisingly– or maybe not, since it had been his choice for a lot of special occasions recently– it had been traditional dicean outfits he had leaned towards, when talking it through with Denji. 

The darker outfit was for the bonding ceremony, and while the colors were dark, there was something so delicate and sharp about the cut and fabric that it gave a sense of lightness. Kaito could imagine his Shuichi feeling quite strong in it. Secure and just the right amount of fancy.

But as much as Kaito liked that one, it was the white one, for the wedding day, that made him go “Wow…” Once again unable to keep his hands to himself, as he reached one and placed a gentle grip on the light blue lines that boldened the sleeves and down the folding robes. A blue sash with small, lighter blue flowers stitched into the design, wrapped around the waist. More than professional: ethereal. Like Shuichi would fit in right alongside the saints Kaito revered. 

And it was still loose and comfortable enough that Shuichi wouldn’t be constantly reminded of his body. Entirely comfortable in his day of celebration. Kaito loved it. He loved it because he believed his fiance would love it. “Thank you, Denji. I really appreciate this.” Kaito said, indicating the way Denji had cut the shoulders and chest area, creating an even boxing motion, “I appreciate you didn’t make it form fitting. It’s something that’ll be a comfort to him, and it’s still so damn gorgeous.” 

Kaito, in turn, for himself, had asked for a Luminary (well, Danganronpa) style princely outfit that he could wear for the bonding ceremony, and then basically that same outfit but with a massive, fur-lined, Fuck You coat to drape over it for the wedding. He had been excited when he asked for it, showing Denji Luminary style designs, explaining how this buckle type and that button placement was from this military era, and asking for his countries colors in red and gold, and it was just as grand and extra as Kaito had been hoping for and…!

“...hm.” Kaito said, grinning stiffly, “...is it… too late to make it look… less like something a dictator would wear?”

As Kaito fawned and praised their work, Denji’s chest puffed out in pride, their face tilted up with a smile dripping of smug excellence. “Of course, it’s what I’m here for. Though there is no way I was letting you all go to someone else for such an occasion. You all are going to look perfect, and feel like the world is at your fingertips for your special days.”

Though, as Kaito’s shoulders tensed, Denji dropped their bluster and narrowed their eyes at him. “...you do like it,” they stated, not asked, “But…”

Sighing, Denji moved over to their sewing table, getting the sketchpad they had originally drawn the outfit ideas on, going back to the latest version of Kaito’s. “That’s far too vague, to say it looks like a dictator, so…what do you mean? Something less imposing, or making your form smaller, or warming the palette, or…”

They hummed, twirling their pencil in hand. “Explain to me what your ideal is.”

“I do like it.” Kaito admitted, reaching over to the fur-line collar in particular. Running his hands gently to the hard edges of the shoulders, feeling the heavy lining of the coat, like armor, thick and weighty in his grip. The red that deep, familiar blood maroon, the gold reminding him of the throne room…

And then grimacing slightly, he took a step back. Frowning a bit as he rubbed one of his arms awkwardly, looking away from it as he said, “But. It’s not that it’s a bad design! It’s exactly what I asked for! But… it might make my partners unhappy, if they see me looking like some overly fancy general at court. I’m, uh, recently, very recently, trying very hard to get away from that specific aesthetic.”

“I mean… obviously I still want to look a little Luminary, but…” Kaito frowned, trying to think about what Denji asked, “I mean, the colors and fabric are still good, and I know it’s too much to ask you to make a whole new outfit in so little time. But can we make me look more… friendly? Maybe take some of the military edge off? I want to look as not-violent as possible. Um…” Kaito frowned, tilting his head, “I mean, it’s a traditional Luminary style royal outfit, I guess there’s nothing we can do to it to make it less royal. Our outfits are meant to represent our highest rank in the military, afterall… hard to get the uniform look off of it, huh…”

Denji had heard Kaito. 

Oh, they heard him loud and clear. 

The longing and pride as he traced a hand over the jacket and coat they’d already made, the shame, guilt, and cowering as he asked to be less. As he wanted to take his own desires and joy out of the pieces they had spent hours planning and refining together, all…

Because someone else didn’t like it. 

Denji’s vermillion eyes sharpened dangerously. 

“What the fuck did they say to you?” they growled, gripping their sketchbook tight. 

Kaito’s shoulders spiked up a little, always a little caught off guard when someone spoke to him in that tone of voice. He honestly wasn’t sure what Denji was asking for a moment, as Kaito gave them a quick, appraising glance– how mad and how worried should he be sort of look– before glancing down at the sketchbook the designer was clutching. Oh… oh!

“No, no, neither of them had anything to say about your design of my clothes!” Kaito corrected, putting his hands up placatingly, throwing a grin on his face, “I don’t know if they even really looked at these sketches? You know how it is, Shuichi just wanted to look at his own clothes, and Kokichi… also wanted to look at Shuichi’s clothes.” Kaito laughed, trying to radiate a reassuring energy as he continued, “Your work is superb Denji, this is entirely just me asking, like, maybe, if there’s still time to make it… friendlier looking? Less, uh, ‘prince’, more…” Kaito tried to think of an ideal, and tried, “...’consort’? Does that make sense?”

Denji scoffed out a harsh sound, though their voice did even out a little. “No, dummy, I don’t care what they think of my designs. I know they’re incredible; if they didn’t like them, it just affirms to me what horrible taste they have.”

“I’m asking what they said to you.” They emphasized the word with a small jab of their sketchbook, pointing it at Kaito. “What kind of bullshit are they spouting to bend you back, stuff you in a box, and make you whimper into giving up something you love?”

Kaito scratched his chin a little, giving the designer a mildly bewildered look, “...oh. Uuuh… oh. Awww,” Kaito grinned, a small blush running across his face, as he said sincerely, “That’s really sweet.”

Shaking his head, Kaito looked over to the fur-lined cape and, again, ran his fingers down the fabric, before explaining, “No, no, no one’s trying to, like… ‘suppress’ me or anything. Me and your brother and Shuichi and Maki, we had a therapy session this morning and…”

Laughing awkwardly, Kaito rubbed the back of his neck, “I know this isn’t the sort of thing you and I talk about, so I’m sorry in advance if this is too much information. But my partners basically showed me today that I’ve been… kinda seriously hurting their feelings, for a long time, with how I think about, like, being royalty and… sorry, it feels really personal, I’m not sure what’s okay to say or not… I’m trying to distance myself from the Momota name a little, is what’s happening.” Kaito explained, popping his joints a little, “Like, it’s kinda really important, Denji, like, maybe ‘save my relationship’ important… kinda all came to a head today, so I gotta make some serious changes, ya know?”

And while Kaito had been uncertain how much he wanted to say this, he suddenly remembered promising Maki it wasn’t going to be a secret thing, as he suddenly brightly said, “I disowned Byakuya today! I mean, so that’s a start!”

It hadn’t seemed like something Kokichi would do--Shuuichi, Denji was still undecided on--so Denji wasn’t absolutely set on there being some serious brow-beating going on, and as Kaito started to explain, they settled back down, placing their sketchbook back on the table. But there was still something going on, which was why Denji hadn’t cared about thinking, ‘oh, I don’t think my brother would do this’ when they had lunged for an explanation in the first place. 

The opinions of others, for the most part, were garbage. Worthless criticism and worthless bloat. But…the feelings of others, at times, were to be considered a little more, and if it was to the point of being a make or break of their relationship, when the wedding was in a few days…

Denji crossed their arms, eyebrows raising a little at Kaito’s explanation. “Yeah? That’s quick… Guess Kokichi does know the ins and outs of all that bureaucracy though…”

They sighed. “I’m not going to demand to be another therapist, so I’m just talking at that overview. Maybe there are things worth changing, for the sake of your relationship, and for the sake of people you love, but…you shouldn’t have to give up what you love to do it. If you have to completely change who you are to maintain someone else’s love, move on. You can do better than people who don’t actually love the real person you are.”

Kaito’s eyes widened slightly… before his brow furrowed. Squaring his shoulders and lifting his head slightly, gritting his teeth as he said, “Denji, I appreciate you, but… do not suggest I should leave them again.”

“Then don’t leave you.”

Kaito grit his teeth harder, baring his teeth… before he deflated a little. Huffing as the anger passed through him, lowering his shoulders as he said, “Look, I hear what you’re saying, but man… you just couldn’t understand. My family… my original family, I mean… I mean, I have to distance myself from them. They’re… like, the parts of myself that need to go? Are bad, Denji. It’s my, like…”

Kaito huffed, waving his hands lightly as he explained, “My pride. I am so prideful, and, like… an asshole! But not the fun kind. Just the kind that makes my fiance feel like he’s a lesser human being because I don’t pay him proper respect, and horrified my husband with my selfishness, or defends my best friends greatest enemies, just because they’re a Momota and she’s not. Like, I don’t even really know if these are traits of mine that I can get rid of, not all at once… but I can at least not fucking, like…” Kaito waived in frustration at the wedding outfit, frowning, “put it on full fucking display and shove it in everyone’s faces. Look at this thing! It screams ‘elitist Momota asshole’!”

“...my fiance kicked me out of the room today.” Kaito admitted, left eye fluttering a little, “And probably only because he didn’t want to be alone with me, because Kokichi couldn’t sleep in the same damn bed as me tonight. Cause the Momota shit is that bad, Denji. This could seriously lead to them leaving me.”

Denji didn’t back down, but they did lean more on their back foot. Their shoulders poised, but not raised--not preparing for an attack, but not hunched to defend. Just…listening. 

(Though it was a little morbidly interesting to hear Kaito say that they couldn’t understand having a bad family, and needing to distance themself from them.)

Taking a little breath, they nodded once. “Okay. If you have been treating them poorly, then you’re right. No one should be obligated to stay with people that hurt them. And wanting to change that about yourself is really the bare minimum respect you could give your partners.”

“But you’re not your family,” Denji said dryly, looking at Kaito head on. “No person is other people, and giving up your individuality to mash it up with an amalgam is, one, horrifying, and two, a disservice to you. Further, all the things you listed that hurt Kokichi and the others--those aren’t traits. Those aren’t your personality, things that are bound to you. Those are actions you’ve taken and, well, lucky for you, actions are much easier to change than traits.”

“Also, again, all that’s too vague for an outfit to scream,” they groused, walking over to smooth out the outer jacket. “You’ve explained to me the styling, and there is a cultural connection to Luminary in it. But are your clothes wearing you? Do you become something else because of some cloth and fur? I see an outfit that broadens your shoulders and bulks and stretches your silhouette, something suited for cooler climates with its layers and fur, while not distorting or hiding the body it’s on. I cannot tell you it gives any sort of personality, Kaito, because it’s on an inanimate object--it’s only given a personality and a vibe beyond its construction when you put it on. Because you wear your clothes, and they’re only meant to enhance what you already have.”

They turned back to Kaito, eyes piercing into his. “And what you have, and what you are, is something that you decide every moment. If you want to change, you will do it. If there is an obstacle in your way, blow through it, or move around it, or find another path. You are not stuck in any box or path others decide for you.”

Hmmm… it certainly felt like personality traits but… Denji could have a point. Though, Kaito was already trying to change his actions. He just wanted the changes to be, well… noticeable. To show his family in real, physical ways that he was trying his best to be who they needed him to be. 

He wanted to love them in the way he had always asked to be love. The last thing he ever wanted was for that to feel one-sided. He wanted to express in everything he did, how much they mattered to him.

Actions… did making certain he not put out an intimidating or elitist aesthetic count as an action? He wasn’t sure. This was just him doing his best in the moment. 

“Thanks, Denji… and I don’t feel trapped. I just want to do right by them. That’s all.” Kaito murmured, looking over the outfit… before chuckling a little, “It is kind of a weird outfit for a desert climate, isn’t it? You really can’t go outside in those outfits, you have to go from building to building in a carriage, and if you’re outside for any reason? People, like, faint in these outfits, it’s actually a serious hazard. We keep these icepacks on the inlines when we have to go out in something like this in anything less than a perfectly controlled temperature building, and those really only buy you an extra hour, maybe, before you start to overheat and faint…”

Kaito shrugged, “I think it’s cause we borrowed a lot of culture from Danganronpa. Makes more sense for them, doesn’t it? They have, like… seasons.” Kaito chuckled, before grinning in slight embarrassment, “If you believe the paintings, old Luminaries barely wore anything. Just, like… these really thin, sheer silks and stuff. Kinda barbaric, I guess…”

Denji gave them a stern nod before relaxing, dropping their arms back to their side. There were a lot of ways a person could die. Denji would always hate that they hadn’t been able to see Kokichi’s but now it was one for the list. Something to look out for. Just like the slow, miserable death of someone whittling themself away to nothing.

Raising an eyebrow, Denji huffed a short laugh before turning to one of their bookcases, searching through the pamphlets and magazines. “That’s utterly ridiculous, though I can see the throughline if it was an adoption from Ronpan fashion. I suppose there are those with a critical eye to notice such things, and that the heavier, stiffer fabrics are intentionally unsuited to perform superfluous status…but it still feels like a delicious challenge, achieving the same effect and silhouettes with fabrics that actually breathe.”

Humming pleasantly, they pulled out a thin, hard-bound book, flicking through the pages before turning to show Kaito. “In all honesty, intentionally giving yourself heatstroke seems more barbaric than wearing things that would both protect you from the sun and let your body breathe. But you did mention that Luminary fashion is very strange about nudity.”

“But, look. I doubt these are any more illuminating that paintings actually in your country, but these are designs from pre-oligarchy Luminary, yes? At least the dates on the trade logs point that way.”

There were only two modeled outfits on the page, the majority of the garments taken down loose, but the illustrations showcased…yeah, thin, sheer silks with flowing cuts, both concealing the form in wide drapes while also giving hints of bare bodies underneath. 

Kaito gave Denji a curious look as he brought out a book, opening it up to show… what looked like outfits from old painting styles but… with actual cuts? And sizings. And material references and…

“...holy shit, Dicea has pre-oligarchy Luminary history in their texts.” Kaito realized, eyes widening in a ‘Oh Fuck’ moment. And then saying that out loud as he whispered, “Oh, fuck, how did I never think about that? Of fucking course you all do, you write down fucking everything…”

“Oh, but, you guys were a serious isolationist country for a long time there, so, let’s not get overexcited, but… when it comes to commerce? There’s gotta be records, things our scholars would go fucking apeshit for… it’s not like the off-continent countries, we’ve been right next to you for, like, literally ever, we probably pop up in all sorts of random places in your texts… oh that’s so fucking exciting!” Kaito lit up, now just pouring over the designs, eyes wide with wonder as he murmured, “Monique and Korekiyo would have lost their shit over this. I can’t believe this has been here this whole fucking time…”

Still murmuring to himself, Kaito turned the pages, looking further in for more examples– the texts even listed which parts of Luminary the designs came from! Sure, some of the names were out of date now, but it’d be clues to where they’d come from in modern day!-- as he told himself, “I mean, I doubt I’m the only one to realize this, I bet people are already working on it… but just in case, I should send word back, talk to Kaede, maybe reach out to some of Korekiyo’s old classmates or, oh, Monique’s parents, these names could seriously help with updating maps from the dark ages…”

He blinked, four pages in, raising an eyebrow as he saw one outfit that was referenced as a ‘tribe leader’. Focusing on it, the text only said that the style of outfit was usually cut for Luminaries who tended to head an entire region of tribes, the gold necklaces and thick armbands signs of their wealth and status, and the intricately designed robes meant to cover their mostly bare upper halves from the rays of the sun, while the loose flowing lower halves had apparently been designed that way adjust for the way the leaders had to sit on the horses reserved for them, broader back horses that lead into battle… which the book only noted because if you were making it in a traditional sense, ya had to account for the idea that the person riding it would be riding a massive horse and would need something both protective and loose enough to adjust…

It was fascinating. And Kaito looked at it and felt something in his stomach tighten with longing. It looked like something you could actually ride around in the sun… and it was so cool looking…

“...” Kaito blushed as he looked at the upper half of the costume beneath the robe, which could generously be called, uh… barely existing. “I think I’d scandalize my poor fiance if I went around with my tits on full display. It’s less scandalous for men, but nipples are considered pretty intimate in Luminary. Like, an outfit like that, where it seems to be going out of its way to show off nipples? I think my poor Shuichi would spend half his time fighting the urge to close the robes around me.” Kaito chuckled, before looking Denji with a nervous, mildly hopeful smile, “This is too much, right? Too much of a difference I mean? I know how last minute this is, and it’s kinda stupid for me to want something like this just cause it’s, like… kinda cool and a little…” Kaito rolled his eyes, chuckling, “I don’t know, historical while still being Luminary. Honestly I can live with what you’ve already made and just, like… making it less imposing and military-eque…?”

“...that is a very cool look though.” Kaito said, looking back to the design. An embarrassed flush on his face. 

Denji raised an eyebrow, but simply let Kaito pour through the designs. The book had been a difficult find. Dicea, as a whole, had records on everything from rainfall to phonetic rhythms, and while that was irreplaceable to historians…it also made sifting through hundreds of years of texts and illustrations a mind-numbing needle search. Their first few years at the castle, Denji had poured over any and every reference material they could find, but it was for their 14th birthday that they’d come back to their room to find a stack of freshly printed books tied with a ribbon on their bed. Kokichi having searched in the library archives for anything that had pictures and descriptions of clothes and getting new copies made. 

Ancient styles weren’t exactly something Denji often found themselves trying to emulate, but everything old became new again, and using bits and pieces of old styles with new kept things fresh and interesting. 

So while Denji just let Kaito gush over the historical implication of the trade manifesto (and pattern book), they looked over the longing and delight in his eyes…and let out a haughty ‘harumph’. “We could use an over-cape, if he’s really that bothered, though I do believe that you are the one in charge of your body. Would you want a design just like this, but in red and gold like the last? Or something simply inspired?”

“I better be your favorite in-law after this, you know,” they pouted. “Making Lake a Tia…honestly. It’s like you never think of me.” 

Kaito lit up, pouring over the page with new enthusiasm, now that it was looking like more of a reality. An overcape would be really cool… and he could still have it in the colors Denji had already prepared, he might be distancing himself from Momota’s, but he was still Luminary… would Amber be willing to sell him some more jewelry that could go with the look? He could ask her, she might have items like these already, and, well… he had the chain his mother had… well… that was probably alright, maybe… 

…no. Kaito wouldn’t wear that to his marriage to Shuichi. That could stay in the box. He’d get something new. Less expensive, sure, but less baggage. His fiance mattered more.

Kaito was about to answer Denji’s questions, but found himself startled again. Looking up at them, raising his eyebrows slightly at the pout. He didn’t know what a Tia was, but… the… hurt? In their voice? Was that genuine, or…?

Kaito got up and, without warning, pulled them into a hug. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, “You’ve been very kind to me. I didn’t mean to dismiss you. I can be kind of dense.”

It would be a shame to cut up the pieces they had already made for Kaito, so there was no way to make a shortcut. Also, the fabric choices would just be all wrong. There was…a night and one full day until the bonding ceremony, and then the wedding the next day. Most of the structure came from draping, so there wouldn’t be too much to pattern out, and while, even with thinner fabrics Denji would still have to line it…

It wasn’t impossible. But it would be a long night. 

They were absolutely getting to be the favorite sibling after this. 

Though, for being the favorite, Denji hadn’t been expecting the hug, and immediately stiffened, letting out a brief, alarmed note…before…geez. Big guy had no chill. True excellence, but oh so frantic. 

Relaxing, Denji returned the hug. “I know, I’m the best. Thank you for recognizing it once in a blue moon. Use that head of yours to look at what’s in front of you sometimes, yeah? Oh, c’mon, you big bug, it’s okay…”

Kaito chuckled. ‘Big Bug’ was a new one for him, but he thought it was cute. 

And, deciding that wasn’t a thought he was gonna keep to himself, he backed off, but still held Denji’s arms, giving one arm a little pat as he grinned down at them, “Ya know, you talk sharp, but you’re kinda cute, huh? I can see why you and ‘Kichi get along.”

“Naturally,” Denji sniffed, though by this point Kaito might be able to see the humor underneath. 

-

Despite being in higher spirits, it had been a long, dark, lonely night. Kokichi still checked in with Shuuichi and Maki and Miyako when he returned, well within his 10pm curfew, said his goodnights and got and gave a few hugs, but…he still found himself in an empty room by himself. It wasn’t oppressive, they had put too much work into making the nursery warm and welcoming and perfect for a little girl for him to feel that way, even in the dark. 

It was just…lonely. After spending over a year in the company of at least one of his guys right next to him. 

Kokichi chuckled a little. It almost called him back to that first night in the carriage, his sleep post-poned for the same reason. But now there weren’t even familiar (and more) sounds around him, and there wasn’t someone withing reaching distance if he just rolled over. 

Kokichi had spent the night curled in a ball on the day bed, clutching his bunny plush tight, and when their group returned to Dr. Mariah’s office the next day, the increased bags under his eyes were apparent. Still, he gave their therapist a small smile and a wave as he settled into his usual seat. “Good afternoon, Dr. Mariah.”

Kaito had slept well, all things considered… but of course he did. He hadn’t left his medication behind. He had laid in the unfamiliar bed, in the unfamiliar room, and listened to the strange silence for a while. Listening for soft sounds of people outside the hotel room, people walking around outside, other visitors murmuring softly past the walls. 

It had been… weirdly familiar. If Kaito closed his eyes, he could pretend he was in a dozen other places. Other little spots he had only slept in once and then never again. Feeling lost and peaceful in that lostness. Stepping out of his life a little.

He hadn’t felt guilty for that peacefulness. He had sat in it for a while, eventually grew bored, took his pill and went to sleep. Seeing Kokichi the next day, though, and seeing the exhaustion in his eyes, made Kaito feel more guilty about the peace of his night retroactively. Shuichi and Maki both looked fine, but even if they had stayed up all night they’d still look fine: they were used to going for a long time on very little sleep. So his Kokichi seemed to have gotten the worst of it…

So as Kaito kept looking over to Kokichi, fretting a little, Dr. Mariah tasted the air and, well… tasted Kokichi’s exhaustion, Kaito’s fretting, and Shuichi and Maki feeling both somewhat satisfied and oddly conflicted. 

Hmm… “Good afternoon.” Dr. Mariah greeted back, looking them over, “It was a difficult day yesterday, I know. But I imagine the day didn’t end once therapy did. How are things?”

There was silence for a moment, before Dr. Mariah guided, “...Shuichi?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to go first, if I’m honest.” Shuichi sighed, adjusting the cap on his head– which wasn’t an ideal sign. Shuichi had been going without his hat more and more often lately– as he crossed his legs, his ankle on his knee, “Things actually ended pretty well last night. And Maki and I talked for a good deal of it, and… honestly I feel like what I have to say wouldn’t be fair.”

“It might not be,” Dr. Mariah conceded, “But it’s important that we communicate how we’re feeling and our thoughts, even if there’s a chance those thoughts are ‘wrong’.” She said, quoting around the word, “I don’t think I have to explain in detail why repression of those thoughts long term creates problems. We saw the results yesterday, after all.”

“...” Shuichi frowned a little, before sighing. Lowering the brim of his hat, “...we really did come to a good place last night. Kaito said some things, and well… it doesn’t make up for everything that happened, but…”

“...... well, that’s kind of it, isn’t it.” Shuichi sighed, looking away, “Maki and I were talking openly about how frustrating it’s been, listening to Kaito fawn over and defend and try to emulate people we hate and… I love Kaito. And I feel better about things… but nothing feels resolved. Like, I’m….”

Shuichi frowned, trying to think of the word, “..missing closure. I guess.”

Kokichi, having crossed his legs and brought them up to himself in his egg, leaning forward a little to not totally pull back from the group, put his chin on his hand and nodded slightly, taking in Shuuichi’s words. What Kaito had said, illuminating his own understanding, and apologizing for, was vital. Kokichi still didn’t think that it would’ve totally ripped them apart if he hadn’t, but…maybe if it had taken a long time to get those words out, it might’ve. 

But a few words, even sincere and painful and needed as they were, didn’t make up for decades of abuse and humiliation and frustration Shuuichi and Maki had been put through. 

“...honestly I’d be a little shocked if things could just feel…done, after two conversations,” Kokichi said softly, offering his family a small smile. 

Maybe closure just…wasn’t something they’d be able to get right away. Too much had been done. But it was still worth talking about, and trying to understand each other, and…trying to get closer to a point where closure was possible. And Kaito…

Kokichi sighed softly, looking over his husband. When they had met back up in the morning, Kokichi had been relieved to see that, more or less, Kaito looked how he always did. More specifically, Kokichi was glad to see that it didn’t look like he had spent the entire night ripping himself apart. 

Kaito’s apology was needed, and he did have behavior to change…but Kokichi had at least something of an inkling that some of Shuuichi and Maki’s pain just…wasn’t something that Kaito could help soothe, directly anyway. Because that pain was caused by someone else. But…he did believe that closure was possible. Eventually.

Kaito rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze a bit far away. Dr. Mariah tasted the air, and… was a little surprised at how unfussed he seemed. Hmm. 

But as Dr. Mariah pondered over that, Maki nodded, agreeing to what Kokichi said. “This was never going to be something solved all at once. It’s like what Mariah said. Ongoing.”

“I know, I know, I just feel bad. I don’t want to take any of this into our celebrations, is the thing. I feel this pressure to… make things okay, you know?”

“I see… let’s discuss that.” Dr. Mariah decided, “I have noticed that for this group, there is a resistance to dealing with a problem gradually over time. You all are prone to, well… repression until meltdowns. And while in your actions you do recover over time, you don’t seem to recognize that time is one of the necessary factors to those recoveries. That there are stages to recovery.”

“Our… actions?” Kaito spoke up, giving Dr. Mariah a curious look, “Are correct though?”

Dr. Mariah nodded, before pausing, “...if I may step outside of my traditional education for a moment? I’ve always felt, in my studies, that the common language has done itself a disservice, for only having one word for ‘forgiveness’. It’s a far more complicated process and emotion that one one all consuming definition doesn’t truly give justice for. For instance, what I believe what Shuichi really wants, is… how to explain–”

Maki rolled her eyes, “Forgiveness and redemption.”

Dr. Mariah raised a small eyebrow. “Hm?”

“That’s what you’re about to spend way too long trying to explain to us. The difference between forgiving someone’s actions and those actions actually being redeemed. I know that because that’s the conclusion I came to, listening to Shuichi agonize about it last night. He wants to forgive Kaito because he loves him and he wants their lives to go on. But he doesn’t want to suggest that forgiveness in any way redeems Kaito for what he’s done yet. And he doesn’t want Kaito to believe he’s been redeemed either, even if Shuichi isn’t actively punishing him.”

Dr. Mariah squinted, “... okay, yes. I still think there’s a few more definitions that should be properly explored in the greater psychological community, but for our purposes. Yes. The difference between forgiveness and redemption. You are allowed, Shuichi, to forgive Kaito, while still expecting a level of pursuit of redemption.”

They did have a unique pressure between them, for this incident. While they had all agreed--more or less, some with more words than others--that they shouldn’t postpone the wedding, and that despite the hurt between them, they still loved each other and weren’t swayed from wanting to get married…it’d still feel bad to have this line of pain between them, on days that were supposed to celebrate and affirm their bond and devotion. 

However…it kind of felt like there was always a pressure to make things okay. For the kids or for public perception, or because someone did a kind gesture or… All sorts of reasons that…more or less were just after-the-fact justification for trying to explain that feeling, that need. When…in reality, they just needed time. 

Kokihi hummed softly and looked at the pond. “...I think, too, that you--the general you--can forgive someone and still be hurt, too. Forgiveness isn’t a blanket promise that…that everything’s okay and everyone can move on like nothing happened, to me, at least. It’s just…a promise to accept someone’s strive to be better, and to not punish them for what you forgave them about.”

He tilted his head a little. “...it feels like a lot of the steps of forgiveness, and redemption too, I suppose are…numerous and implicit. Which makes it hard when those steps are actually different, person to person, and we lack the language to actually convey how it feels, and what personally feels ‘justified’.”

Dr. Mariah nodded, “Exactly. And as I tried to explain initially, you all are already familiar with this in your actions. I know from listening to you all for the last near year that, while you all do tend to forgive immediately and with very few conditions, in action, you all seem to at the very least hold yourselves to a higher level of redemption. All of you have made mistakes in this group relationship that, even if the person you wronged has forgiven you and moved on, you have refused to dismiss without further examination. Insisting for the sake of the person harmed that even if you have been forgiven, you have not been redeemed, and refusing to not acknowledge that.”

Counting it out on her fingers, she started with her index as she said, “Maki said yesterday that when Kaito had gone to her for comfort about his deceased parents, she offered herself as a scapegoat, letting him express a sense of vengeance over what she did. Kaito dismissed it out of hand, apparently, having on some level, at least, decided to forgive her. Even if he himself has struggled in these sessions with the idea that Maki refusing to acknowledge how her actions hurt him had made the idea of her being redeemed in his eyes difficult. His actions still show he’s forgiven her, in that he refuses to punish her.”

“The same has happened between Shuichi and Maki, in regards to Addason.” Dr. Mariah said, drawing her knowledge from the sessions with Maki, “They both know there is more to discuss there. That Maki and Shuichi, though you two are exceptionally close, have harmed each other in ways that have not had ‘closure’ yet. The mistake redeemed. To continue the examples, Shuichi and Kaito, when Shuichi became furious with Kaito’s easy forgiveness of Shuichi’s sexual transgressions against him, and Kaito and Kokichi, where Kokichi’s forgiveness was something Kaito could not accept for–”

“Okay, we get it, we all do it. How are we ‘correct’ then?” Shuichi sighed.

“These are examples of you all doing this process correctly, in action.” Dr. Mariah explained, “These are all issues you all have been working on, little by little. The transgressors refuse to let them go. For instance, as a final example, Kokichi was far more uncomfortable with his early manipulations and abuses–”

Kaito’s shoulders squared, gritting his teeth, “We’re not calling it that.”

“...aggressions. The ‘gaslighting’ his mental illness compelled him to subject you too. Kokichi has always had more to say about those early transgressions in your relationship than Kaito, or Shuichi and Maki, for that matter, have ever had towards it. Which is good. It’s important you all talk about these things over time, explore them and get to a place of true peace with them, because the fact that you all forgive each other for these harms does not mean the harm is negated. Even if in the moment you feel at peace with what happened, that feeling might not last in a moment of stress in the relationship in the future. Some new transgression reopening old wounds that, because you all refused to talk about it with each other past the original crisis point. That new transgression would remind you of the old one, and all would start to pile onto each other in each new moment of crisis. Building into something unmanageable.”

“In action, you all are already working on these things, even when forgiven. The only difference this time is that it’s the victim, this time, who is acknowledging and insisting redemption is still needed, rather than the perpetrator. A rarity that is fairly unique to your group, you should all know. Usually it’s the opposite. All of you love each other quite dearly, and…” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, “are very harsh on yourselves, as a rule.”

Kokichi gave a small, sheepish, knowing smile at that. 

There was a part of him that got excited. If it was more the norm that victims felt unfinished and dissatisfied, then surely Dr. Mariah would have more advice for how they could proceed from this point. But he knew that regardless of the side seeking redemption, the solution was just…to keep talking it through. Become clear about their feelings and expectations and just…be open with each other. It didn’t matter who on what side felt the need to continue it. 

Just that they did need to continue it, lest it snowball into a crisis full of resentment, like Dr. Mariah warned. 

But just to clarify…

“...so we just keep talking about it together?” Kokichi softly asked. “Like…there isn’t anything more or different we should do, when the dynamics are different?”

“Talking, yes. But listening, as simple and obvious as that’s going to sound, is also key by this point.” Dr. Mariah explained, looking to Shuichi, who looked away. His golden-gray eyes looking a little embarrassed at her attention, as she said, “Perhaps this might sound a bit ‘Dicean’ to our Luminaries among us, but in this process, usually? Each individual step for the redemption process, if they’re happening with the idea of keeping the relationship together? Is initiated by the person harmed.”

“Now, if there is no redemption in the eyes of the victim? Then that is when that relationship parts ways, and that process becomes a more individual journey: the victim dismissing redemption, but if only for their own mental wellbeing, finding some level of forgiveness they can live with. And for the perpetrator… well. Sometimes it’s as simple as them forgiving themselves and moving on. And true redemption in any form is never actually achieved. And that’s just something everyone has to come to live with.” Dr. Mariah sighed, “But that’s not the journey for you all. Redemption is the desired outcome, and you are all working towards it. And if it’s the victim who needs proof of redemption? Then for you, Kaito–”

Kaito looked up, lifting his head as he was directly addressed. He had been very quiet throughout all of this, but not to the point of spacing out. He was clearly paying attention.

“--the only path forward is to pay attention to what Shuichi, and Maki, are saying. To, for as long as it’s emotionally reasonable, do your best to meet them halfway, on what they are looking for in redemption. To talk it out and understand their expectations and feelings.”

“...emotionally reasonable?” Kaito asked, frowning.

Dr. Mariah paused, considering her words, “...there gets a point, in the process, where this dynamic in and of itself becomes manipulative and abusive. I don’t believe that is something your group will ever have an issue with, but it can be an issue, so I want you all to know what it is and understand the signs. It’s a relationship dynamic where one party, due to a transgression they’re trying to make up for, while keeping the relationship, finds themselves in the active process of redemption… basically forever. Often to their own detriment. One member of the relationship essentially keeping another emotionally hostaged. When that happens, an intervention is usually necessary, and that intervention is usually a call for the two people to part, long term redemption unlikely and unreasonable by that point.”

Shuichi frowned, “I’m… not trying to keep Kaito hostage.”

“I wasn’t accusing you of such. Refusing to accept redemption over the course of a few days is not ‘long term’.” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, “Though at the breakneck speed you all go through trauma responses, I’m sure it must feel like it. This is more like years, or even decades. If a decade from now you were still chastising Kaito for something that, presumably, he actively tried to stop doing yesterday? Then your demands of redemption would become manipulative and abusive. And you both would be better without each other. But we’re nowhere close to that scenario.”

“...what if you can’t forgive yourself?” Kaito asked softly, his eyes lowering. “Or, uh… you never feel redeemed, but it’s entirely on your end? Like it just… never stops?”

“Honestly? If you were the perpetrator and over decades still were haunted by your actions? That’s likely an issue that has nothing to do with the relationship itself.” Dr. Mariah said gently, “That’s a personal mental health issue. And… I hesitate to say it’d never be an issue for this group. You all are very harsh on yourselves… but I’d say for certainty that it’s not an issue yet. Some of your transgressions? You should still be concerned about them, after this period of time. For some of these things less than a year has passed, and others, less than a few months. As a development of personality? A change of character? It’s more than normal for these things to still bother you: it is, in fact, a sign of true self-reflection. A real step towards redemption, rather than merely a showcase of it.”

Listening might’ve sounded obvious, but…it really wasn’t. It was a honed and maintained skill, to properly listen to someone when you talked. To not just wait for your turn to talk again, to actually absorb what was being said to you, to--to varying extents--be invested in what the other person was saying. Kokichi knew that he personally struggled with the aspect of ‘listening without action’. Especially when others came to him with grievances, it always felt like he needed to come up with a solution to that issue…but that wasn’t always true. 

…hell, he’d seen a great example last night. Amber had listened to him for ages, but they hadn’t left the ice cream parlor with some plan to tackle the days ahead. She had asked him if he was safe, if he was truly happy in his relationship, and when that was confirmed…she just validated him. Agreed that his frustration was warranted and just let him…exist in those feelings for a while, without them overwhelming him. 

It had been a monumental relief. 

There likely would be action to take, from the kind of redemption Shuuichi and Maki wanted out of Kaito, but just being able to listen to them was important too. But not forever, on this particular issue, at least. 

Kokichi nodded slowly, huddling a bit in the warm softness of his sweater. It still wasn’t anywhere near where he’d consider it starting to get cold, but there was a certain crispness in the air now, on certain days. “Not just you, but, like…everyone talks about how fast everything’s gone, and how short our time together has really been… It feels like a lot has happened, and it has, but…we’re all really just barely past the starting line, huh…”

Pausing for a moment, Kokichi looked over to Kaito. “...I think…I might’ve given you a bad impression, when we’ve talked about depression and related symptoms before. How I talked about how…hopelessness, and feelings like that, feel like they’ll never stop, and that that’s…in part just symptoms. It’s true, but…we’re really not even a speck into ‘forever’. I think…”

Kokichi flicked his eyes up to the sky. “...I think, for all of us, really…the things we feel that frustratingly feel like they’re overstaying their welcome, or are just uselessly lingering around…is a very small perspective. And for the most part we’re just feeling things for a normal amount of time.”

Dr. Mariah nodded, “I know we’ve been over this phrase before, but I know it can be difficult to internalize… if something feels ‘bad’? If it feels ‘hard’? Very, very often…”

“That’s because it is.” Kaito finished. Looking tired as he said it.

“Yes. It can be a sign of mental illness, some underlying biological or trauma symptoms, absolutely… but time tends to prove that more than anything else. Short term like this? And a year is short term. If something horrible happened, or you did something horrible, and you feel negative emotions about it? That’s a truly, genuinely normal reaction to being hurt, or harming others. It’s not a chronic symptom of something else, other than something terrible happened.”

“...can I…” Kaito sighed, rubbing his neck, “Dr. Mariah, can I ask your opinion on something real quick? About my medication?”

“You can, though I have to stress that as not being your primary physician or therapist…”

“I understand. I just… Miss Crystal doesn’t have all the facts? But I’m on psychotic depression medication. And… I do feel better? I mean, I do, but… I also sleep better. It wasn’t that long ago she put me on heavy duty sleep medication either and… maybe I am depressed? But I don’t think I’m psychotic.” Kaito frowned, “When the voices went away as a kid, it’s not like I kept perpetuating them on my own. And it turns out, that wasn’t all in my head! I… I still have a hard time actually coming to grips with the actual implications of that, of what happened with… Togami and Tengan and what all that means to me… but it didn’t keep going when, presumably, they all stopped fucking with me.”

“And… I wasn’t an unhappy kid. Or teen. Or, fuck, adult. I’d get sad, or angry, and then I’d get over it!” Kaito said, fretting a little, gesturing his hands as he looked vacantly in the middle distance, like he was having a conversation with someone who wasn’t there, as he continued earnestly, “I wasn’t unhappy! I keep telling everyone, over and over, that I wasn’t unhappy. And yeah, I’ve been unhappy this last year, even when things weren’t actively going wrong, but…”

Kaito winced, gritting his teeth, “...but… things kinda have always been going wrong, this last year. It just… didn’t always mean it was going wrong here. Like… like, sure, things would be going great in my relationships here, Kokichi and I bonding, Shuichi recovering, Maki getting a new job o-or returning from the war… but my life was still falling apart in every other respect. Every time I heard about news from home, it was always some new, terrible thing…”

Kaito’s eyes started to water, as he stressed, “I don’t think I’m psychotic, or depressed. This last year has just been so fucking hard… and I don’t know how to explain that to Miss Crystal. Or if I’m in denial… can the medication hurt me? If I’m not actually experiencing the thing it’s trying to solve?”

Shuichi frowned, lips pressing together a little. “Now, wait, Kaito… feeling like you don’t need the medication anymore can be a side effect of feeling better. Miss Crystal told you one of the reasons she put you on it is because you tend to take the blame for everything.”

“Okay, but like…” Kaito gestured frantically to himself, then to all of them, brows both somehow furrowed into a pinch while also raised, as he made a frustrated little, “!!?” sound. Clearly trying to express that, well… was that all in his head!? 

Dr. Mariah frowned, “...there are some side effects, to using the medication on someone who has no chemical imbalance they need help with. However, there had been signs of benefits for short term use of antidepressants after a recent traumatic event. It just shouldn’t be used forever, in that case… though it’s more concerning that you feel like you can’t communicate this to her. If it will help, Kaito, schedule a sitdown with Miss Crystal and I, and I can help you communicate this to her, and the three of us can discuss where to take your medications from here.”

Kaito had affirmed, over and over, that he hadn’t been unhappy back in Luminary. And…well. While Kokichi couldn’t say he understood why, it was, at the end of the day, something he was happy to hear. He didn’t wish for Kaito’s unhappiness, he just struggled to understand how Kaito had been able to maintain his positivity when, to Kokichi, every event or stage in his life seemed like different, awful facets of hell on earth. Even with the theory of it being a coping mechanism, Kokichi couldn’t understand how it wasn’t just exhausting. 

But Shuuichi had explained it to him once, how Kaito and Maki were just…naturally content people. It didn’t stop them from being mad or hurt or sad, but…they felt those feelings in response to something, then bounced back. Regardless of if those circumstances actually changed. 

But for a lot of the past year, there hadn’t even been that rest state, where maybe things weren’t changed, but they were calm, at least. It had just been crisis after crisis…so Kaito was always stressed in the face of things that just kept happening. 

There were some things that they, and Kaito alone, had decided they couldn’t share with Miss Crystal, but there was still enough that coming to that realization wasn’t outlandish. And if she had still urged Kaito to try out these meds…

Well, having a deeper conversation about his medication needs would be good. Kokichi had a much easier time with that side of things, and he still checked in regularly with Dr. Egami and Seiko to make sure it was still working for him, and he wasn’t experiencing overly detrimental side effects. 

“Environmental depression is still…yanno, a thing,” Kokichi shrugged. “‘Regular’ depression, or, I guess, the kind that most people think of for it, is more than just a chemical imbalance at times too, but…well, when things seem hard, they are. And struggling is just a consequence of that. And…sometimes it makes us struggle even more, because brains are kinda ridiculous, and environmental bullshit can make things worse in our bodies, and medicine can’t completely fix it because the root of the problem isn’t our body…but medicine can give us a leg up, or make things bearable, until our environments can change.”

Kokichi gave Kaito another little shrug. “...if that makes sense? But…I’m not a healer so…actually talking to your doctors about your meds is probably for the best.” 

Kaito slowly nodded, some part of him a little exasperated, even for advise he had specifically asked for. A part of him was struggling to talk to Miss Crystal about this because it felt like a step backwards. Medication feeling like progress towards feeling better… and Shuichi could still have a point. He could just be at the stage of medication where Kaito just believed he didn’t need it because he had forgotten what it felt like off of it…

But he didn’t think that was what was happening. Though, it was reassuring to hear that short term use of the medication could still be helpful. He just… sometimes felt like people didn’t take his word for it. When he explained how he felt about things. Sure, a lot of that had been for good reason, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating when it happened. Not all of his feelings towards things were irrational… Kaito wanted to believe that. 

“Sorry for the side-tangent.” Kaito said, grinning a little sheepishly, before looking to Maki and Shuichi, “...if we’re talking redemption? I know there’s not a lot I can offer, at this exact moment. I thought about asking, or, offering myself in a submission bow to you both yesterday, but… I know better these days. Those don’t mean much to you, Shuichi, beyond, like, this frustrating guilt trip. And Maki, I know you can’t actually do it, no matter how mild your choice of punishment would be. I think even so much as scaring me would seriously stress out my partners, and with Miyako and the health stuff… that’s not a choice you really get to make. It’d be offering you nothing.”

Shuichi nodded along as Kaito talked… but pure curiosity compelled him to ask, “Kaito, do those bows actually work on you?”

Kaito looked genuinely confused by the question, “...yes? I mean, Maki’s didn’t entirely, but that’s not really her fault. She was being ravaged by a fever and losing blood. She wasn’t putting me in a corner on purpose, I believe. You were trying your best.” Kaito said, looking to Maki, who gave him an even look back, “The more I thought about it later, the more I knew your attempt was earnest. Sincere. You were just too sick to see the flaws in it.”

“It was important to me to get it done, as soon as I could…” Maki said softly, closing her eyes, “I couldn’t think of anything else. The idea consumed me, basically the second I had a free moment to think about things. And once it grasped me, I couldn’t let it go.”

“You have a crazy strong sense of personal duty, Maki-roll. And, honestly… I should, and do, feel honored that once your siblings were saved, and the program dismantled… I was the next thing on a list that extreme, that you felt a personal duty to deal with.” Kaito admitted, giving her a small smile, “Save thirty+kids, topple a regime, ask Kaito for forgiveness… that’s a hell of a list. One of those things is not like the others.”

“It felt the same to me.” Maki said softly again. Her eyes downcast.

“I know. And I’ve always struggled to express how much that means to me. I know I’ve punished you so much for everything that happened… it’s taken me a long time to feel calm enough to think about all of that.” Kaito said, rubbing the back of his neck, something sheepish in his expression as he confessed, “You thought about me so much…I’m grateful.”

Kokichi’s gaze softened. Maybe their group did rely on each other a little too--dangerously--much, but…they couldn’t help those feelings. They were utterly devoted, so the only thing to do was try to be better to and for each other, so those bonds didn’t cut or strangle. 

Maki had sacrificed so much for Kaito. That’s part of why his disregard was so egregious and hurtful. But he loved her more than anything (on par with his deepest love for select others) so despite not giving her the proper care, he was still going to work for it. 

Kaito might not recognize what he could offer, but…

Giving enough time for Kaito’s gratitude to linger, Kokichi softly cleared his voice, hands clasped in his lap. “Uh, actually… I didn’t bring it up yesterday, because it felt…trivial, compared to the rest of what we were talking about, but…talking about acts towards redemption… You can legally disown Byakuya, Kai-chan. Have something tangible behind your vows that…doesn’t require Byakuya doing something first, I suppose.”

Kaito’s eyes widened. Something in him, briefly, tightening with panic… before he swallowed, pushing that feeling down. Forcing himself to blink as he said, “Oh, uh… legally?”

That explained whatever Denji had been talking about last night, with it being ‘fast’ and Kokichi being good at paperwork. Kaito had been confused to the point of just breezing past it, not sure how to even start asking Denji what they were talking about. There wasn’t an equivalent, in Luminary, beyond denial of inheritance. It was easy to disown a child, because you could just banish them from your home and take them out of the list of people inheriting family possessions… but a sibling? Or a parent? That tended to be more just a social thing. A declaration, with no legal backing.

Which was why Kaito had stressed it wouldn’t be a secret. That people would know. Because how else would it matter.

…doing it legally? Writing it down. Was scary. It was really, really scary. 

Byakuya was going to hear about it.

Kaito swallowed and chastised himself for the thought. It wasn’t a secret. Byakuya was always going to know. Kaito had told Denji yesterday! He was telling people. It wasn’t a secret. Byakuya was always going to hear about it. That was the point! That was the point. 

…Byakuya was very far away, he didn’t need to be scared of how the other man would react, he didn’t, he didn’t.

“...I! Yep! Yes.” Kaito said, clasping his hands together, worrying his joints, “Yes. Yes. We’ll do that. I’m going to do that. As soon as… as physically possible. Yes?” Kaito asked, looking between Maki and Shuichi. Eyes a tad too wide. “Yes?”

“...” Briefly, Shuichi hesitated. Wanting to ease the stress he saw in Kaito’s body. Wanting to say he didn’t have too, that they could delay or put it off to spare Kaito the discomfort… but Shuichi had been doing that his whole life, for Kaito. “Yes.”

“Yes.” Maki agreed, face neutral. 

Kaito nodded, swallowing harder, but more certain, “Yes, we’ll do that. How soon can we do it, ‘Kichi?”

“We can start the process as soon as we get home, if you want,” Kokichi said softly, before giving Kaito a critical, yet generous look. “...it’s okay if you’re uncomfortable, or scared by the idea, hun. I…”

Kokichi looked at Shuuichi and Maki before huffing slightly, rolling his eyes at himself. “I don’t expect you to be at peace, taking a stance against your family. That’s…kind of literally what this is all about. You care a lot about them. And…that’s why doing something, like legally disowning Byakuya, is an action that has a lot of weight behind it. It’s why doing that would mean something both for you, and for them,” he nodded to Maki and Shuuichi.

“You don’t have to…hide that. If it was easy or comfortable for you to disavow them, then none of this would’ve happened, and not much you’d do to disavow them would mean all that much towards actually cherishing Shuu-chan and Maki-chan.”

His brows furrowed a bit. “...I don’t think your redemption is meant to be a punishment, so…you can tell us when something’s hard. But it’s not meant to be labor on their side either.”

Kaito’s jaw clicked a little, looking away. 

… it wasn’t a secret, that he loved his family. 

Kaito closed his eyes, a wave of shame running through him at that. Because that was half of what he was vowing to them. His parents were dead, so there wasn’t a lot to disowning them, nothing that would mean much. Disowning Kaede would have huge ramifications, and honestly, Kaito suspected she… wouldn’t let him. There was too much weight to that, too much scandal. Kaede was still actively claiming Kaito, despite what had happened between the two sides of their family, her phone calls and allowance a near public display, and Kaito strongly suspected, how she referred to him in Luminary itself a sign of her claiming him. Even with his inheritance dismissed, his parents no longer in power, and his, uh, Byakuya banished, Kaito still acknowledged as part of the family. A public act of mercy.

For Kaito to in turn disown her? To take back, in a sense, his part in approving of her claim? Even if one didn’t have anything to do with the other, it’d be a scandal. Kaito would be nervous to do it. 

Disowning Byakuya didn’t have the same public pressures against it. If anything, it’d be considered an embarrassment to Byakuya, but Kaito’s position in Luminary society might actually improve. Byakuya had just been thrown off the throne and banished. It likely wasn’t just Maki and Shuichi who would consider Kaito disowning him a sign of Kaito finally getting it together.

It was… going to seriously embarrass his, uh, it was going to seriously embarrass Byakuya. One last final piece of dirt to smudge the ex-monarch’s name with. It was going to embarrass him. Byakuya was going to be so mad. It was going to hurt him…

He made Maki murder a child.

Byakuya murdered a child. And… and he murdered Kaito’s parents. Maybe Kaito had already given up on his father, but his mother had just been a bystander. At least as far as Byakuya’s goals had been concerned. She had loved him. She had loved Byakuya, had given him everything Kaito had ever longed for, and he had killed her for it. He had killed her and told Kaito not to grieve. He had estranged Kaito from his husband when Kaito was already struggling to make that relationship work. He had threatened to cut Chad’s head off in front of Kaito and told everyone in the fucking school about an event Kaito had been deeply ashamed of. He had killed Togami. 

(He saved him from Tengan. He had picked Kaito over his parents and mentors. He had made a situation Kaito had thought was hopeless stop. He had honored Maki, for a moment. He had made Shuichi a lord and claimed Miyako before they had known she was actually Kaito’s. He had refused to abandon Kaito. He had gotten his friends freed when Tengan had fought it. He had loved Kaito in his own, selfish, terrible ways.)

(Kaito still loved him, even when he shouldn’t)

He made Maki murder a child.

He made Maki fight a war to stop him from expanding and sustaining a program that had hurt everyone Maki had ever loved. 

He had made Maki sob in Kaito’s arms and beg him to choose her.

There was small trails of tears down Kaito’s cheeks. He hadn’t noticed them when they had fallen, he only noticed how cold his face felt afterwards, as he said stiffly, “It’s… hard. But… I want to do it. He… hurt you.” Kaito said, looking to Maki, “...your enemies are my enemies. I know it’s too little too late, Shuichi, when it comes to my mother. She’s gone. But… I can’t have both and still claim to love you the way I’ve asked you to love me. It’s a choice. And… I’d choose you guys. And I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to do so. I’m sorry it’s taken so much.”

It was a motion to honor Maki, more than anything… but it was Shuichi who relaxed. Shuichi had found himself more pissed than either of them, any of them, at Kaito’s refusal to choose them over his Momota family. Outraged on Maki’s behalf. Horrifically hurt on his own. Offended on both of their behalfs.

So Maki looked to Shuichi, to see how he felt about Kaito’s words. And seeing him relax slightly,  she nodded. Looking back to Kaito. “Good.”

“It’s a start.” Shuichi said softly. 

Kokichi could feel the shame and conflict rolling over like a constant undertow in Kaito…but the only comfort he allowed himself to give was what he had already done. Letting Kaito know that he didn’t need to hide or stifle those feelings, letting him know that those feelings made sense. But Kokichi couldn’t say it was alright, or that people were misunderstanding, or…something like that. Because that wasn’t the case. 

Kaito had deeply hurt and disrespected his friends. There was no softening that. There were things he could do to work towards redemption, because Shuuichi and Maki were allowing that, but…they would hurt. Because Kaito’s actions hadn’t been careless, or a result of haphazard decisions. He had chosen to side with the Momotas, and that choice caused pain. 

They had a long road in front of them. 

Catching Shuuichi’s soft words, Kokichi looked at his fiance for a moment before sighing softly. Feeling pushy and clumsy, like he’d just be pushing his family away, but…

“It’s a start,” he repeated, though he kept his eyes on Shuuichi, rather than looking at Kaito, “Though…Kai-chan said before he didn’t have much to offer, in terms of redemption. It’s…not something that’s decided by him anyway, so… And, I mean, it’s not something that you have to know right away, but… Shuu-chan? Maki-chan? What would that look like to you? Actions you would want to see?”

It was cruel, but… Shuichi was waiting for the day that Kaito could dismiss the Momota family without That Look on his face. Like the act was strangling him. 

It was cruel, but Shuichi knew he was waiting for Kaito to stop loving them. As he had said once to Kaito, it was the part of Kaito that he hated most. Maki had said the same thing. That Kaito’s devotion to the Momota family was the worst part of him. 

And Shuichi knew that was unkind, because he still believed that the devotion he showed the Momota was the same devotion that made Kaito bend over backwards trying to please his current family. It wasn’t the trait itself that Shuichi hated, that loyalty and love and dedication. That was something he wanted Kaito to continue to have. He wanted Kaito to love with all of himself, and for those he loved to never have to question it, no matter what.

He just wanted those bastard Momota’s to stop benefiting from it. 

Action wise…

“I want Timothy to know.” Maki said. Her face still. Hard. A calm in every word, as she stared deadpan at Kaito, “Not the details, obviously… but how we feel about them. No wishy-washy language, no vague ‘things happen sometimes’. I never want Timothy to think of Byakuya as his ‘uncle’, or someone he owes anything too. I know a part of you thinks of Timothy as a prince. I don’t mind that. But if you’re going to say things like that, or put those ideas in his head, he’s not a prince of the Momota family. You are his father, but the Momota’s are not his family. He owes nothing to them, and he’s only a prince in the sense that Diceans throw around that term. He’s just a current prince’s son. A Dicean prince only. If he has to have that idea in his head at all. The Momota’s were slave drivers that needed to be tamed.”

“...” Kaito swallowed hard. Nodding. Before looking to Shuichi. “...”

“...that would mean a great deal to me too.” Shuichi said quietly. Not so cold as to not wince at the way some of the color in Kaito’s face drained, “It’d mean a great deal. That Miyako doesn’t call the people who hurt us ‘Grandmother’ and ‘Uncle’. That she isn’t raised to believe they were anything but what they were. I can’t stomach the idea of you singing their praises to her. Of her singing them back to me.”

“...” Slowly, very slowly… Kaito nodded. A strained, stressed look still on his face, but still he nodded. 

“Alright.” he said, “I swe… I swear it.”

Shuichi let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding… before his eyes watered. A rush of sudden emotion running through him, a chill and anger he hadn’t realized he had been hiding inside for the last day finally thawing as he lowered the brim of his hat over his eyes, his lower lip wobbling as he suddenly sniffled hard, “I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know what asking that means, and I’m sorry–”

“No, no.” Kaito said, worriedly standing up, quickly moving around the pond, eyes focused on Shuichi as he went to go pull him into a hug, “No, this is something you’re allowed to ask me. This is something I can swear. Don’t cry. Handsome, don’t cry, I’m not angry. Shhh, hey, you’re… you’re not asking too much. Neither of you are asking too much. I choose you. I can swear this to you. Your children won’t be raised to love your enemies… I swear it…” Kaito whispered, petting Shuichi’s back as he leaned against him. Sobbing.

Ensuring that the past wasn’t lost. Their children may never experience the same hardship and struggles as they did--and that was the deep, longing hope--but they could still learn the lessons those experiences had taught. 

It was going to be different for Timothy, who had lived in Luminary under the slavery system, who had seen war, and who had watched beat for beat as his family struggled over the power struggle in his former home. Half his childhood had been claimed by those things…but not the rest. And they would make more clear the lines they stood behind than what had led him into their lives in the first place. 

And Miyako…

Kokichi recalled conversations he’d had with Kaito in the past, over Kaito’s grief for his parents. Kokichi had encouraged him to tell stories to bring to light that Leon and Sayaka had been people too, and while he had just left it unimplied that they’d tell her the rest of the story too…maybe that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t like people made sure to humanize history’s greatest monsters in school--there was a point made that they were just people, but personal details were often left by the wayside. The atrocities they caused disqualifying them from having their happier, mundane moments passed down. 

And, well, Shuuichi and Maki had a right to keep those things from their kids. And Kokichi would respect that too. He wanted to pass down a clear picture of the past…but there was no such thing. By the act of being a human and passing things on, he was adding his own bias, and while he was an Ouma…that’s not what Kokichi wanted to be to his kids. He wasn’t a historian, and to them he was their family, so…he could pass on a clear picture without softening any edges from the worse parts. 

Kokichi looked over with a frown, the edges of his eyes soft and downturned, at Kaito and Shuuichi. 

Even so…it was a task to ask of Kaito. But the road to redemption was rarely an easy one.

It wasn’t an easy task. Kaito couldn’t claim he wouldn’t struggle with it. Maybe even actively resent it, at times.

But he knew in their position, he’d ask for the same thing. Would expect it. Not that any of them would (because of course not, that was the entire point) but Kaito would be hurt, if his family raised Miyako with first and foremost that Tengan had been an active and engaged Head Secretary. Especially if his children (because of course, again, they wouldn’t) wouldn’t be told the horrors Tengan had made of Kaito’s, and many others, lives… if Miyako wasn’t told Tengan had been a bad man who had been an enemy of their family, if that was only kept vague while his successes were explained? It’d be incredibly unkind to Kaito.

He couldn’t bring himself to make the same example of Nao, to himself. Kaito hadn’t been the victim of Nao, not a betrayed family member or the person she had manipulated and abused. Kaito ultimately had to let Kokichi and Shuichi decide who Nao might be to their children someday… if she was ever anything at all. If Miyako ever learned her name.

Speaking the praises of Tom and Itch was unfathomable. Too impossible to even use as a hypothetical. Maki’s dedication to ensuring they weren’t lost to another system did not mean she ever intended to make them a part of their lives, and Kaito never entertained the idea that it did. They were an obligation and little more.

It was only Kaito and his family, uh, his old family, who could possibly be painted in a painfully positive light in their children's lives. Miyako knowing them as her grandparents and estranged uncle, Timothy remembering them as royalty he was expected to still honor as a Luminary citizen. It was… an entirely reasonable thing for Shuichi and Maki to ask.

That didn’t make the sick feeling in Kaito’s stomach go away. But that feeling didn’t change his mind either. Shuichi and Maki mattered more. He chose them.

And indeed, as Shuichi finished sobbing against him, his cries quieting, Kaito could already see what that vow meant to them both, as he let Shuichi lean away from him, looking between them. There was something lighter in both his friends. Shuichi looking tired but smiling softly, while the hard, rigid, defensive edge in Maki had softened, the woman looking more relaxed. It was still only a beginning, Kaito had to prove his vow through action. That would take time. Effort. But… at least Kaito had direction now. 

Feeling daring, Kaito reached for Maki’s hand, taking Shuichi’s with his other. Standing between their eggs, staring at both of them, one after another, squeezing their hands tight… before he sighed. Letting go and heading back to his own egg. Sitting down and, while Shuichi and Maki looked lighter, Kaito admittedly looked a little heavier. All of that a lot. Necessary, but a lot. 

“...I saw our outfits for the bonding and wedding ceremonies.” Kaito said, blinking tiredly, “Denji knocked it out of the park with your guys’, but I asked that they make a few alterations to mine. I think it was probably more work than I had the right to ask, so… if we could all be really grateful and nice to Denji the next time we see them? I’d appreciate it. They did me a favor.”

Dr. Mariah recognized a desperate attempt to alleviate the atmosphere when she heard it, but she decided to let the unofficial request for a break go, saying encouragingly, “That sounds good, Kaito. What alterations did you ask for?”

“Uh… more nipples?” Kaito said vaguely.

“...what?” Shuichi gawked..

Kokichi squinted at Kaito for a moment before sighing, just…letting it go until they were in a space Kaito could explain in more detail, or Kokichi could just ask Denji. Though, judging by the timeframe, more likely it’d just be that he’d end up seeing the outfits when they were getting ready to go to the ceremonies. 

“I know they’d tell you straight up if they couldn’t do it, but…geez. If they’d ever let me, I’d plan a nice vacation for ‘em, with a plus one for Andromeda, after this. Maybe I’ll save them a big slice of cake at the reception.” Andromeda would appreciate that, at least. The woman was an impressively big eater. 

There was a pause, before Kokichi looked over to Shuuichi and Kaito almost shyly, his lips turned in a sweet smile. “...I’m really excited to be bound to you two tomorrow. I know my belief isn’t quite the same, and that I’ve already vowed myself ages ago…but it’s gonna be really special. And I can’t wait to go through it with you guys.”

“It’s a strange thought, isn’t it? I still can’t believe how quickly the rituals have snuck up on us.” Shuichi admitted, smiling back at Kokichi, his gaze softening, “Though, it’s a bit like Miyako was: it feels like this big, impossible thing beforehand, but once we’re doing it? Once it’s done? I know it’s going to feel so intimately important to our lives that it’ll be harder to imagine life without it.”

“Not that anyone asked, but my own outfits are ready for the days.” Maki smirked, though she was trying to mask the smirk as a pout, “You three are so much maintenance. I keep having to get new outfits for your dumb celebrations.”

“Maki, I did ask. I went with you to buy your clothes.” Shuichi reminded her dryly, “I tried to talk you out of buying two new pairs of shoes for each outfit.”

“I’m hemorrhaging coin, trying to keep up with every new party you guys keep throwing. This has been a stupidly expensive summer. Every summer better not be this expensive.”

“We’re not exactly getting married every summer.”

“No, but I bet you overly sentimental idiots are gonna celebrate two different anniversary dates. Just pick one and make it all one party.”

Kaito felt himself relax a little, the others taking his pretty obvious request for a way out of this conversation. Kaito really wanted to be okay. He really, genuinely hated how not okay he was, just… with things. In general. While he was far from the desire to let someone else carve into his mind and take out the parts of himself that was struggling with everything, man, if he was an empath? The temptation to go into his own brain and do some forceful redecorating would be strong…

…Kaito frowned.

Obviously he wouldn’t. Obviously… “Hey, ‘Kichi?” Kaito said, looking to Kokichi, the worry too intense for him to ignore, “I think I’ve already asked you this once. Or, something like this… you’re not, like… doing empath personality changing stuff to your own brain, are you? I mean, you’ve been doing so much better lately, with your family… I just… I don’t know how safe that is… if you are?”

Kokichi giggled softly, shrugging a bit both to himself and to the others, unashamed that Maki was probably right. He could be persuaded to let the anniversary of when they all met, or when they officially asked Shuuichi out just be swept into the past of important memories…but he wanted both his wedding anniversaries. Perhaps they would come to represent first meetings, and then chosen devotion, but Kokichi felt they were both important in their own ways, and meant to be celebrated. 

Though, that was definitely getting ahead of himself. He was gonna put his all into their wedding, so he certainly couldn’t start thinking of how they were gonna honor its anniversary yet. 

It was a nice subject of reprieve, but they did have limited time in therapy, and while it wasn’t really something that concerned Kokichi, every minute was on their silver. And--a bit surprisingly--when Kaito got back to what they would actually use therapy for…

Kokichi blinked in shock at his husband, lips parted slightly, before a genuinely hurt expression flickered over his face. But in another breath it was gone, calmed, and Kokichi shook his head. “No, I haven’t. And no one else has either. I’ve worked a lot on trying to take a look at myself and my relationships so…if it looks like things are better, that’s from my deliberate, conscious efforts. Not me trying to be a different person.”

Kaito started fussing with his thumb joint, frowning a little at the shock across Kokichi’s face. “Sorry, no, I mean… obviously. I just…”

Kaito trailed off, and Dr. Mariah decided there might be something there. “Go ahead, Kaito, it would be better for you to explain your thought process, rather than leave it there. That willingness to be vulnerable, to say something that might potentially hurt or embarrass, is one of things I’m trying to stress to this group more.” Dr. Mariah reminded him. “It’s okay to be ‘wrong’.”

Suggesting whatever he had to say was ‘wrong’ wasn’t the point, and in the future Dr. Mariah would stress that more. But Kokichi and Kaito, specifically, often had a habit of silencing themselves if they were worried about expressing a ‘wrong’ thought, not recognizing that exploring those difficult thoughts were also helpful in communication. Recognizing that mindset in them, Dr. Mariah was going to start stressing more that they were allowed to be wrong without viewing that as some failing in their relationship. She suspected if she had stressed that more in the last year, this conversation about Kaito’s love for his abusive family likely would have happened much sooner.

Though, Kaito didn’t look reassured. If anything, he looked briefly confused by why she would bring that up. “...oh. Uh, no, I… sorry, that all came out weird. I just found myself thinking of what I would do if I had empath powers. I don’t really think Kokichi would do this, he’s, heh…” Kaito suddenly grinned, “wiser than this. But if it was me? I’d be really tempted to just fix things about myself I don’t like. And I just wanted to be sure Kokichi didn’t feel some sort of pressure or temptation to do that. Because, like… I would, ya know?” Kaito said, looking for Kokichi now, explaining it to him, “That’s really all I meant. Just wanted to be sure you knew that, like… we wouldn’t want that for you. Right?”

He directed that towards Shuichi and Maki, Shuichi nodding while Maki rolled her eyes. “If you carved into your own brain to change your personality, you wouldn’t be the person who recognized why that part of you needed to be gone anymore.” Maki shrugged, “At least, that makes sense to me. Besides, the sides of ourselves that are most aggravating are rarely personality stuff. Just shitty reactions to stress. I wouldn’t know what part of yourself you’d have to change to make that stop anyway.”

“Mmmm… I’d do it.” Shuichi admitted, shrugging as Kaito’s balking look at that, “Not that I’m saying Kokichi should. I mean I’d do it if, for instance… it made things like kicking addictions easier?” Shuichi said, looking more tired, “Yes. I’d carve an addiction out of my head. If that’s the end goal anyway, why not spare myself the time it’d take to do it?”

“It wouldn’t work that way.” Dr. Mariah said gently, “Addiction has very little to do with emotions or personality. It’s unfortunately very much a chemical thing in your body. There are personality traits that can make taking the steps to beat addiction a little more guaranteed, but addiction itself? That’s a physical process, not an emotional one. Emotions can only exasperate a problem that already exists.”

Kokichi didn’t think whatever Kaito had to say would be wrong, but…it was pretty clear that Dr. Mariah was saying “wrong”. They could tell each other that they’d listen no matter what, be open to anything, but that didn’t fight the doubt against that traitorous ‘but what if this is the wrong one?’ So…by giving them license to be wrong anyway…

Ah, well. More to work on, he supposed. 

But as Kaito explained what actually brought his question on, Kokichi’s expression smoothed out even more and he nodded, each of his family making a lot of good points. “Yeah… What Empaths can do is pretty insane, but at the end of the day we really do have some clear limitations. I think at this point, Empaths are only scarier by the factor that they can do things sneakily--by the potential of raw power, I think other Psychics can be a lot more destructive. Add in that apparently a lot of other psychics have multiple abilities…” Kokichi shrugged a bit. 

Turning to Kaito, he offered a small smile. “I might not be tempted to change who I am…but I was tempted to mess with my memory.” He paused, before huffing exasperatedly. “More than I was, I mean. A…a friend of a friend offered to have a consult with me, asking if there were certain memories I really wouldn’t want access to at all. Locking away trauma that’s too much to work past, kinda stuff.”

“I was tempted, especially being overwhelmed with everything…but I said no,” he softly explained. “I…haven’t completely broken down yet, so while I can still move, I want to be able to learn from the darker parts of my past. I guess…that’s to say, I get why you asked.”

Kaito’s eyebrows went up a little, looking surprised, before he let out a breath, “I don’t know why the idea of suppressing memories sounds so left field to me. That’s, like… literally what happened to you two, right? Empaths suppressed your memories of conditioning?”

Shuichi and Maki glanced at each other, before Shuichi shrugged, “That’s the prevailing theory. It could just be good ol’ traumatic repression, but considering I’ve never met an indentured who remembers what actually happened in the compounds? It seems pretty deliberate. I remember showing up, and… a few weeks of adjusting, I guess? Just existing in that space. And while I have the vague knowledge I spent more time there and things happened, I only know that in the way of half-creating a memory someone else explained to you.” Shuichi explained, “Like hearing a story about yourself from childhood and then suddenly ‘remembering’ it? Like, you don’t really. But there’s a part of you that feels like you do.”

“And we don’t want to know.” Maki stressed. “We’ve told Kokichi this already, but now that we know we can remember, if we wanted to? We’ve chosen not to. The things I can remember are already terrible. Why make it worse?”

“...” Kaito frowned again, glancing at Kokichi, wondering if he shouldn’t volunteer this… before saying anyway, “Are there things you’d want to forget, Maki? Like… now? Not counting the things you’ve already forgotten?”

“.....” Maki gripped the sides of her egg. Her face hardening into something distant and impassive, lost in her own train of thought, “...no. Most of the memories I’d actually want to get rid of? Involve other people… and it’d be cruel, to forget what happened to them. I have a responsibility to remember. To know what I did.”

She shrugged, her face still impassive, as she said, “Even if it wasn’t my fault, or I couldn’t help it? But especially if I could or I did. I should remember things like that. My comfort shouldn’t be built on the backs of dismissing other peoples hurt.”

“Geez.” Kaito whispered, looking away. “You can really make a guy feel small sometimes, Maki. I mean, I agree, on a technical level… but I’d still be tempted. You make it sound so matter of fact.”

“Is that something that tempts you, Kaito?” Dr. Mariah asked. 

Kaito chuckled, “Not at the moment, but I also know Kokichi would never do it in a thousand years, even if I begged. He loves me. He wouldn’t hurt me like that even if I asked him to. Otherwise? Sure, there’s things about myself I’d be tempted to change, or repress… like! Like, for instance, something I’ve been really working on but I am still really struggling with?” Kaito frowned, “Kokchi’s family. And, fuck, I know we’ve talked at length about this before, which is part of why I’m so fucking frustrated with it. I want to be better. I want it so badly. I’m starting to feel, like, crazy, because I’m spinning in fucking circles on this subject. If I thought for a second my husband might take that problem away if I asked him to? I’d be tempted.”

Probably some of A, some of B. Kokichi knew for a fact that what happened in the Togami compounds was traumatic, and, if he were in the mood to make even a mildly light-hearted comment about it, likely violated every human rights law Dicea had…but to have a perfect rate of no one remembering it… There were probably Empathetic “clauses” that the Empaths instated, making sure that no one would be able to figure out how conditioning was really done. That their victims wouldn’t have enough information to be able to help themselves. 

But Kokichi had figured it out anyway. And the program was over. So…fuck ‘em. And Kokichi could respect his family’s wishes without struggle or guilt (towards that, at least) and let those memories remain locked away. 

And for others…

Kokichi glanced away as Maki explained her wishes. It was the same as his own beliefs, but…he still didn’t know what to do about her deal with Bathul. If he should just passively let it stay out of his own hands and…let her never know that she had more to do in striking that definitive blow in the war. He had worried before that she would eventually remember as the dragon’s memories returned, but…that memory wasn’t the dragon’s. It was a memory construct of Maki. In technicality, there was a part of her that did know, but it wasn’t a part she could access and…

…would she ever forgive him from keeping it from her? Would that be the thing that destroyed her? Kokichi knew how much she struggled even with just taking advantage of the famine…if she knew she had put the hit out there to cause it…

Lost in his head a little, Kokichi blinked a few times before tuning back in, frowning gently at the thing Kaito would consider, if such mind-changing power was available for him. Then, his expression softened further. “I know you’ve said you’re still struggling with your feelings…but it does seem like you’re better about it to me. We did ask Lake-nee and Aunty to be Miya’s godparents. I don’t think that would’ve been on the table at all, months ago, even if you’re still struggling with it sometimes.”

“Yeah, but I wanted it to be done by the time we asked them. I wanted to feel good about it! Because… it is a good thing? Right?” Kaito asked, looking to his family again. Once more looking for that same reassurance he had been asking for over and over and over and over and–

“We can talk about that.” Dr. Mariah decided, seeing the strain on Kaito’s face. “You’re right, we have talked about it before, but like every single one of the things we’ve discussed in therapy, assuming it’s a one and done deal is naive. These things take time and patience, emotional problems or personal struggles can’t be turned off or on like a flick of a lightswitch. It’s a process. Even if that’s frustrating… so, Lake then? Are you still struggling with your initial impressions of her, when you thought Kokichi’s family was abusing her?”

“N… no.” Kaito said, shaking his head, “No. Lake and I’s relationship can still feel weird sometimes, but I’ve basically gotten past that. Honestly, Lake and I’s relationship only ever struggles, I think, because we’re still getting past how I treated her. Or, I’m still struggling to get past it. Just… another fucking stupid thing I’m doing. Lake’s probably gotten over all of it, like, the same day those issues happened.” Kaito grumbled, looking a little resentful at the idea. “Everyone’s always just waiting for me to get the fuck over myself.”

“There’s a lot of bitterness there.” Dr. Mariah noted, not needing to taste the air to see it: Kaito was expressing it plainly. “Do you wish she did have more issues with you?”

Kaito hesitated, recognizing how irrational that idea was the second Dr. Mariah said it aloud… but he just sighed. Rubbing the back of his neck as he rested his arms on his knees, “I know it’s stupid, but yeah, I guess. It’s, like…” Kaito chuckled bitterly, “Its like having an unrequited crush, but as an enemy. It sucks to feel so strongly about something, only to realize that the other person doesn’t feel the same way. Then it’s not a relationship, just… you. Stuck in your stupid, dead-end feelings.”

Dr. Mariah was just guiding him along, encouraging Kaito to keep talking as she prompted, “Do you want an enemy out of Lake, then?”

“No.” Kaito grinned warily, laughing at himself a little, “No. Lake’s actually really nice to me. Like, as much of a brat as I’m acting about wishing I wasn’t alone in how much I’ve struggled with the relationship, who Lake has actually been to me has been really good. She’s been there for me a few times now, like, personally, not just for things involving Kokichi. I know I said it before, but she helped me through a meltdown not that long ago. She stayed with me and talked me through it and broke tree branches with me… she’s been a friend to me. Most of my negative feelings towards her are entirely me being kinda mad at myself, or embarrassed.”

“Are those feelings why you can’t reconcile the reality of Lake being your daughters godmother, matching what you recognize as a ‘technically’ good event, with your feelings?” Dr. Mariah asked.

“No, see, that’s the thing, I think Lake’s gonna be a great godmother. She’s seriously one of the most, like, steadfast, trustworthy, and predictable people here. And it is important to me that Miyako’s godparents live nearby. She won’t need financial support or, hopefully, political or social support. So the best thing we can do for her as her parents is set her up with godparents who will disrupt her life as little as possible. Lake? Perfect for that. If the war didn’t draw her away, nothing will. She’s a good person who I can count on to both be here and to stay for the long haul of raising Miyako… though, uh, ‘Kichi, what’s a ‘tia’?” Kaito suddenly recalled, looking to his husband, “Denji’s sad we didn’t make them a ‘tia’.”

Honestly…Kokichi had been hoping for that too. Because even now he didn’t feel great having their daughter’s godparents be people that Kaito would always tense around, waiting for something to happen. But Kaito had agreed to it, was trying to work past his reservations and…it honestly might take years. And if the endgoal was the same, Kokichi didn’t want to wait around before creating that safety net for Miyako. He didn’t doubt that even if they hadn’t written anything in their wills (still just his will, for the time being) that she would be taken care of, but…it was nice having that certainty. 

Kokichi just wished there was something more he could do to help close Kaito’s schism with his family. 

As much as an all out brawl, passionately declaring your feelings did seem like a Luminary solution…well, Kaito said right there that he didn’t actually want Lake as an enemy. And for how boisterous his sister was, if she did make an enemy of someone, it wouldn’t be the kind of hostility that Kaito would feel comfortable fighting against. 

Lake was the kind of person that wore her emotions on her sleeve, like an airhorn in hand…

…but she was also the kind of person that had done a lot of work growing up to reflect and consider her feelings towards other people, and Kokichi admired her as one of the best people who truly gave people the benefit of the doubt, and let bygones be bygones. Not to naively go around expecting no accidents or violence to occur, but to never assume that that’s all someone was. 

For some of his worst incidents, Lake was the person who was never going to hold them against Kaito. And…maybe that’s just what would make it all feel worse to him. 

And…Kokichi didn’t know what to do for that. 

Though…

He raised an eyebrow at Kaito. “They are? Not just offended that we picked my sister for anything over them?” Shaking his head a little, he sighed. “A tia, or tio, or tie, is…I think in some language it translates directly to ‘aunt’ or ‘uncle’ or ‘zizi’. But…it’s a cultural, social title, you know? It’s an adult in your life that isn’t your guardian, or directly responsible for you, but is still socially responsible for you. Someone you know well growing up, that’s invested in you and a safe person to look after you, but maybe isn’t gonna be there everyday.”

Kokichi thought for a moment, trying to really explain it. “Like…it could range from…what we’re asking of Lake and Nazumi, how involved we want them to be, to, like…the baker down the street that you might see every time you leave your house that way, and gives you free rolls as a snack sometimes. Distant, but still familiar, and still someone you could rely on in an emergency. It’s a community thing.”

Maki rolled her eyes, “It sounds like they’re a tia either way then. Tell Denji to stop being dramatic.”

“Yeaaaah, no. I’m not telling them shit, they probably just pulled an all nighter on my outfit yesterday cause I was feeling insecure.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes in turn, “I owe them a left nut, seriously.”

“They can’t have it. Kokichi and I have dibs.” Shuichi said… before smirking at the startled looks Maki and Kaito gave him, “What? Shut up, laugh.”

“You and Kokichi, man. It’s never gonna feel like it comes out of nowhere, when you two say something like that.” Kaito chuckled, shaking his head a little, “Besides, Denji’s kinda cute. In terms of telling them not to be overdramatic, I mean. They’re so, like… expressive over shit. I don’t always love how they talk about or to Kokichi, but, then, Kokichi hasn’t always been very nice to them back, so…” Kaito gave Kokichi a small, apologetic smile, “You’re not a bully, ‘Kichi, but it’s easier for me to understand how Denji treats you when I remember that you could be a little… uh… gatekeep-y with your love. That could make anyone snippy. They’re actually really nice if you’re nice to them first. Not that I’m telling you anything you don’t know.”

Kokichi did snort a little at Shuuichi’s joke, before giving Kaito a fond look. “We kinda bully each other, admittedly. It did sometimes get out of control, especially when I was genuinely mad and not doing so well with, yanno, my relationships and all that, but…”

His expression softened, something a little remorseful, but ultimately at peace. “...they did forgive me. And I think things have been better since. We’ve been spending more time together just…hangin’ out, too, so I think that’s been helping.”

“But telling Denji not to be dramatic is like telling the sun to stop being hot,” he softly chuckled, giving Maki an amused look. “Though unlike the cosmic indifference of the sun, Denji-chan’s still gonna play with you even if you try to be a buzzkill.”

Maki hummed a little indifferent affirmation, while Shuichi laughed lightly at Kokichi’s observation. Kaito glanced up into the sky, not looking towards the sun itself, but something thoughtful in his gaze as he was reminded of the cosmos. 

Dr. Mariah observed all this, before gently redirecting back to the original subject, “If it’s not Lake that’s the issue, then, Kaito…?”

Kaito’s gaze dropped from the sky, looking back to Dr. Mariah… before dropping further. Staring at his knees as he collected his thoughts, frowning at himself.

“...it’s Nazumi.” Kaito admitted, looking a little guilty at the confession, “It’s not fair of me. Like, it’s especially not fair of me. I’m already aware of the hypocrisy. I was ready to forgive Byakuya for murders that were… if not worse, than arguably more important to me personally. Hell, not counting Maki? Because Maki doesn’t count,” Kaito said, giving Maki a stern, insisting look, Maki looking unconvinced but not arguing with him, “Even the battles, I won’t hear that fighting a war makes you what I’m talking about, Maki, it’s different… but I knew murderers growing up. Went to school alongside them, dated them, I’m not unfamiliar with living normally with people who have killed. Even for reasons I wouldn’t agree with.”

Dr. Mariah, who wasn’t familiar with Nazumi’s personal history, nodded as if she understood the context, asking, “So what makes this different?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure… maybe I shouldn’t care…” Kaito winced, “But even saying that aloud makes me full of guilt. It just races through me, every time I try. Like… how dare I not care. How dare I not be worried? When it’s this important…”

The thing was…yeah. It wasn’t fair, and it was hypocrisy, even if Kokichi did agree that Maki didn’t count. There were still other people that had killed others that, through his life, Kaito still treated as people. Were fine living his life alongside. 

Though, in fairness, he did that with Nazumi too. They had even talked before about how it had never even occurred to Kaito to be worried about Nazumi being Kokichi’s bodyguard. Kokichi might’ve not seen every interaction they ever had, but from what he had seen Kaito had always treated his aunt with respect. 

It was just worry for their daughter. 

“...it is good that…yeah, you care so much about Miya’s safety,” Kokichi started softly. “We’re her parents--that’s kind of our job. And…you have a lot more anxiety, than I think I or Shuu-chan has, over nightmares about people hurting and taking advantage of our kids.” He glanced to Shuuichi, waiting for a confirmation so he wasn’t just speaking for his fiance. 

“So…that makes sense, you know? That even making this decision, you gut’s still tellin’ you that there’s danger.”

Kokichi sighed softly. “...it’s just a matter, then, of her gaining your trust…but I don’t know what that would look like. Anything more than what she’s already done for us.”

Shuichi nodded when he caught Kokichi’s gaze, but while Kokichi’s question of how Nazumi was meant to earn trust was a good one, he couldn’t help but suddenly proclaim, “Oh, right! The same with Nini!”

“...whe’?” Kaito said, the small noise a little more condescending than Kaito was ever in the habit of being as he gave Shuichi a somewhat incredulous look, “...no? It’s not.”

“No, it is. Kaito, you developed a full blown phobia of snakes when I was pregnant and wanted to be around them. Now you wrinkle your nose a little, but you don’t blink at the fact that I spend hours in my office napping with Nini.”

Kaito’s nose, indeed, wrinkled, as he said, “You nap with him?”

“It’s really nice, you should try it.” Shuichi said dismissively, before continuing, “But my point is, I had never seen you have a phobia of snakes, or anything other than spirits, before I was pregnant, and I haven’t seen signs of it since I stopped being pregnant, except for when I make jokes about letting Miyako spend time with him.”

Kaito’s face darkened. “Ha ha. Jokes. ‘Jokes’, he says.”

“And it’s not just Miyako. You spent the entire morning of us walking Tim to his first day of school basically telling him not to trust anyone–”

“Okay, that’s an exaggeration, he can trust, uh… I mean, in the right circumstance–”

“You still haven’t given him permission to leave school during lunch.” Shuichi continued on, undeterred, “And, think about the godparents we turned down. Kaito, you turned Maki and I down.”

Kaito clenched his fists, brow furrowing as he nibbled on his lower lip nervously, “I… didn’t turn you guys… down.”

“Maki was the obvious pick for Miyako and I was the obvious pick for Tim.” Shuichi continued, “And while for a while I sort of thought you didn’t ask us because it was obvious we’d take over if you all died, to the point where it wasn’t even worth establishing, realizing that’s not how you were thinking was… bizarre.” Shuichi frowned, “If Maki and I couldn’t measure up? I’ll be honest, I’m not even sure how we convinced you to trust Lake and Nazumi enough to actually tell them they were godparents.”

“I trust you and Maki! Obviously I do!” Kaito insisted, twitching a little– a part of him deeply worried this was going to be another tear down over him not treating them right– as he insisted, “I have good reasons for not wanting to ask you to, like, legally commit to that–”

“You turned down Ikuo too, and considering you trip all over yourself over him–”

“Okay, okay, let’s take a breath.” Dr. Mariah sighed, seeing Shuichi was just caught up in his ‘aha’ moment. Wanting to explain his thought process in full and probably have it verified a little. Shuichi, indeed, pouted a little to be interrupted in the middle of it, but Dr. Mariah dismissed it, looking to Kaito, “...so. While I refuse to dismiss your concerns over Nazumi as not being worth discussing in their own right, Kaito, would it be outlandish to suggest that there’s patterns developing suggesting that Kokichi and Shuichi are correct? That your anxiety over the children gets a bit… heightened? To the point of debilitating, I mean.”

“Debilitating feels like a harsh word.” Kaito muttered, “...isn’t it a good thing? To worry about the kids?”

“It is, but like with anything one could potentially think to mention, there’s limits. It can reach unhealthy levels, even actions with the very best of intentions.” Dr. Mariah said, “...Kaito? What’s your worst case scenario? With Nazumi?”

“Oh, uh… oh. Um…” Kaito paused, frowning, “...That Nazumi will be emotionally distant.”

“...what?” Maki, this time, said. Looking rarely genuinely caught off guard, “Weren’t we talking about Nazumi being a murderer?”

“Oh, yeah, but like… she wouldn’t kill Miyako, in that scenario. I guess in the event of history repeating itself, she’d kill us.” Kaito said, not sounding all that convinced as he shrugged, “No, I’m worried Nazumi’s relationship with Miyako would end up the same… thing. As her and Lake’s…” Kaito frowned, brow pinching, “...it makes me really sad. I don’t want that for Miya… I don’t want her in Kokichi’s position, like… not allowed to call one of her parents a parent, made to feel ashamed or afraid of it… I want Miyako to be loved. I want her to be able to count on it.”

Kokichi’s eyes widened a little, and he nodded along with Shuuichi’s point. He’d said it, so of course Kokichi did know enough examples to explicitly call out Kaito’s anxiety, but with Shuuichi naming some of those examples… Again. It wasn’t a bad thing for Kaito to be wary about their children’s safety. Even more than just the usual dangers of existence, they did have unique dangers that pertained to them, and it was their job as parents to be aware of those dangers and protect their kids, or at the very least provide them with knowledge and skills to get themselves out of trouble or recognize it. 

And considering his own childhood, and what he was surrounded by, Kaito had a lot of genuine reasons to worry about an unseen or unacknowledged force hurting his children. 

(...though Kokichi would argue that even at their most idle, they still cared more than Kaito’s parents.)

…but anxieties had a habit of spiraling, and especially in a different environ--

Kokichi blinked, shocked right along with Maki. Kaito wasn’t worried about Nazumi’s crime record…he was worried about her…

Kokichi frowned slightly. “...you do know that I constantly call her my aunt, right? That’s never been an issue, and the only reasons I had trouble believing she loved me was the same issues I had with everyone.”

“...and even with her ridiculousness with Lake…” Kokichi sighed. “...there’s no ambiguity between them that they love each other either. And…they’re so good with Miya, every time we have an aunty day. They adore her, hun… Miya wouldn’t grow up feeling like she’d just been…dumped on them.”

“Right, but like… what if Miyako wanted to call her ‘mom’ or something!?” Kaito asked, his face stressed and his eyes distant. Kaito’s daydreaming tendencies working against him as he explained a scenario that kept him up at night, for as long as the sleeping pills would let him fret about it, “Like, we die tomorrow, and oh, she’s growing up with Lake and Nazumi, and she doesn’t want them to be aunties, no one else in her class is being raised by aunts, they’re being raised by moms and dads but whoops, all her dads are dead, and she starts experimenting with calling Lake and Nazumi ‘mom’, but they stop her, she can’t, because if you love Aunt Nazumi too much people could die–”

“Calm, caaaalm.” Dr. Mariah cautioned. More trying to get Kaito’s attention than anything, seeing him work himself up into a frenzy as Kaito panted a little. His eyes still a little distant and unfocused, still lost in the daydream, as Dr. Mariah gently coaxed him back, “Calm. I know I asked for the worst case scenario, and I want you to be able to express that. But it won’t help the conversation to start living that worst case scenario, even if only in your own mind. Re-focus, remind yourself the realities of what’s actually happening.”

“The… realities?”

“Remind yourself that you are alive, Miyako is an infant, and Nazumi is a family member who has already proven she can and will show affection to her loved ones. That while the worst case scenario where these things are not true are allowed to be discussed, the reality of the situation is currently a much different thing.”

“...” Kaito nodded, relaxing, as he realized, “Sorry, I was getting too in my head, huh?”

“Yes… Kaito, may I make an assumption? And you may correct me if I’m wrong. Is that the sort of process your mind goes through, at night? The reason for you taking sleeping pills, I mean, the prescribed kind. Normal sleeping pills tend to make you sleepy and can ease anxiety enough to fall asleep. Heavy sleeping pills tend to be a form of staving off night terrors and panic attacks.”

“Eh, calling them panic attacks isn’t right, I’ve seen too many real panic attacks to call it comparable.” Kaito said, glancing to Shuichi, “But otherwise, kinda? I get this really, really firm idea in my head, at night, that… there’s a fire in the nursery. Or someone in the bathroom. Or someone’s in Timothy’s room, or Maki’s room. Someone, something… some sort of accident? I get these really vivid images in my head of them just needing me, and if I don’t go and look, they’re gonna die calling out to me and I just ignored it, and even though I know nothing’s happening, if I don’t go look? Then the act of not looking is going to make it happen. Like the only thing stopping those things from being true is the act of me looking.” Kaito frowned, “...that always sounds so much worse said aloud. I sound crazy.”

“Miss Crystal knows about this?”

“Yeah.”

Dr. Mariah nodded. Ah, okay. She’d still talk to her with Kaito, just to cover bases, but Miss Crystal’s diagnoses had more than just the voices of Kaito’s youth. Anxiety to the point of delusions. Okay. 

“Alright. We’ve discussed your worst case scenario. But like I said before: what’s the reality of the situation? What’s true, now?”

“...Lake and Nazumi’s situation still makes me sad. I think it’s particularly hard on Lake. I think of how she flusters and denies her and Nazumi’s relationship… it just makes me sad, imagining Miyako in the same situation.” Kaito frowned, “But, the reality? Kokichi calls Nazumi ‘Aunt’ now, and has for years. No one’s making him stop, or telling him it’s gonna be his fault if people die, because he couldn’t stop asking Nazumi to love him… I don’t want anyone to tell Miyako it’s her fault, if Nazumi hurts someone…” 

Kaito’s face tightened, the truth of that taking him by surprise. “...it really hurts. Feeling like it’s your fault. I just… I want to trust that’s not going to happen to her.”

…well, for one, Kokichi doubted there was any class across Dicea that was primarily filled with children who were only being raised by moms and dads, but…that wasn’t the point. At all. 

Kokichi had thought--and told--it before, but hearing Kaito explain his spirals… Yes, he wasn’t a psychologist, but it did sound exactly like OCD to him. Unwanted, distressing thoughts that he couldn’t stop, that compelled him into actions, and got to the point that it felt like a lack of action would be the direct catalyst to the unwanted thing happening. Kokichi was thankful that Kaito had been talking to Miss Crystal about it, and that with the sleeping pills it didn’t seem like Kaito was going through his rituals anymore…but it still worried Kokichi that those habits were still manifesting in different ways in Kaito’s life. 

But even that wasn’t really the point. 

Instead…it was something that Kokichi had done to Miyako too. 

Leaning against the opening of his egg, Kokichi gave Kaito a long, sympathetic look. “...I think…it would be good if you talked to Nazumi and my sister about this directly. But…no one’s told Lake, or blamed her, for being part of Nazumi’s life. Their weird dance around each other is…something they’ve decided, without others’ input. Against others’ input, really. But despite how weird it looks? They’re some of the most consistently devoted people to each other that I’ve known my whole life. And…that gives me confidence that they’d love Miyako like that too, if they became her bubble.”

Kokichi smiled grimly. “...with any luck, Mi-Mi hasn’t inherited anxiety from any of us, and we can raise her to be a little more selfish. That she won’t try to take responsibility for everything around her. But even if she does…she still won’t be us.”

“...talk to Nazumi,” Kokichi nodded with a small, definitive movement. “Being distant, while sometimes being an accident, is still a choice. Let her prove her determination to make a different one to you.”

Maki looked between Kokichi, Shuichi, and Kaito, “...that kids doomed.”

“Probably.” Shuichi said, shrugging a little, “Hopefully at least some of our collective anxiety is just trauma and her anxiety will only be mild.”

“It’s a decent assumption to make, honestly.” Dr. Mariah nodded. “Time will tell, though.”

“I want to talk to her,” Kaito said, his focus entirely on Kokichi, grinning a little warily at him, “It’s just hard, sometimes. I feel like every time I talk to your family, I make such an ass of myself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just, like, lost it talking to one of them. Honestly, it’s a miracle any of them keep giving me more chances. Even Katsuki’s had to put me in my place before. If you’ve never seen a pissed Katsuki before? She starts to speak, like, really clearly. There’s no mincing words or weird riddles when she’s shutting you down.”

“How do you manage to piss of Katsuki? I’ve tried to piss her off on purpose and got nowhere.” Maki huffed. 

“Just acting like an asshole. Like I said, I mess up talking to the people in the castle all the time.” Kaito shrugged, “But I’m trying to be better. I want to be better. Talking to everyone is just, like, a part of that. Denji making clothes for us was actually really good timing, I was just talking to Waku before that I needed to find an excuse to talk to them to, like, try to get closer to them.”

“Do you not feel like you can approach them casually, Kaito?” Dr. Mariah tried, elaborating, “‘Them’ as in Kokichi’s family and members of the castle? Why wait for an excuse?”

“I… don’t know, really. I guess I just feel a little awkward and in the way when I try to approach them without some sort of plan in mind. It’s hard to feel like I have permission to be casual with them. And I tend to overcompensate when I manage to just be in a conversation with them, which can end up being really offputting in itself.” Kaito shrugged, “Just because I can feel myself being an awkward weirdo with them doesn’t mean I can self-correct all that well in the moment. But I still want to try.”

Kokichi grinned tiredly, only highlighting the shadows under his eyes. “...I know this is something you’ve had issues with before too, but…home is kinda The Place for second chances. If there’s anyone who’s gonna still give you the benefit of the doubt after a bad interaction, it’s prolly gonna be my family.”

And that just highlighted when people didn’t give out any more chances more. Anyone who actually was snippy towards Kaito from the kitchen, or members of the staff that straight out ignored him. 

The staff was highly encouraged to be tolerant, to embody the core values of Dicea as much as the leader was supposed to, but…there was only so far you could push someone, and people didn’t have to put up with being treated badly. Kokichi didn’t really think his husband did, just a bit rude or awkward at times, but…

He gave Kaito a more relaxed smile. “...I’m glad you’re still trying. It makes me really proud.”

Kaito lit up a little at that, giving Kokichi a small, eager grin at that. 

Dr. Mariah, however, was looking at Shuichi and Maki, “What about you two? Do you also struggle to talk to people in the castle.”

“Not really/I don’t really care.” Shuichi and Maki both said respectively, before glancing at each other, “I find it rather simple to get along with people, but truthfully I’m not going out of my way to make friends with people who I have any issues or awkwardness with either.” Shuichi continued, “We either get along or we don’t talk. I don’t feel a strong need to force the issue with anyone, even if they’re particularly close to Kokichi. For instance, I can’t recall ever having a one on one conversation with Lake or Denji at all, though I don’t feel negatively towards them at all… and Aiichi doesn’t babysit.”

“I have gone out of my way to establish a few relationships in the castle, and besides a small issue I had with Katsuki that’s… more or less been resolved,” Maki shrugged, “I don’t feel like I ever failed to establish those relationships that I found a use or desire for. I don’t feel like I’m struggling, is what I mean.”

“Probably helps that she’s starting to date again.” Shuichi smiled.

Maki flushed a little, tucking her hair uselessly behind her ear as she looked away, “...well, it certainly doesn’t hurt anything.”

Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, “That’s excellent to hear. Are you seeing people in general, Maki, or someone specific?”

Maki face burned a brighter red, “Does it matter? It’s not relevant.”

“...actually,” Dr. Mariah sighed, “...this is going to sound unhealthy. And perhaps it is. But it’s also, I feel, the reality of your relationships… it does matter, for this particular group, how your relationships are going, Maki. Suggesting it wouldn’t affect things is a bit unrealistic by this point.”

Kaito winced, looking away a little, while Shuichi raised an eyebrow, “Maki isn’t beholden to us, in who she sees. None of us are actually dating her.”

“... Maki has been coming to your relationship therapy for several months, steadily,” Dr. Mariah reminded him, “And her presence was felt in your discussions long before she returned from the war. I knew of the mysterious ‘fourth’ member of your group long before I learned her name. With one of you, she’s raising a child. I won’t put a label on your situation, because that’s not my place. But as your relationship counselor, I will say that Maki’s relationships likely will impact yours. And open communication of what her new relationships will mean towards your current one will be necessary, as it developes. Even if most of you feel like those two things are unrelated… for at least one of you,” Dr. Mariah said, looking to Kaito, who was scratching his scalp lightly, “The effect is tangible. It’s important to talk about it, even if there’s not much to discuss right away.”

Kokichi nodded knowingly as Shuuichi and Maki explained their relationships in the castle, and though he had just declared his own pride towards Kaito’s persistence in trying to forge better relationships…

Kokichi was pretty happy with how Shuuichi and Maki’s relationships were too, primarily because…well, they were happy. Even when a bunch of them got together, it never felt like there was tension or hostility between the members of his family that didn’t really talk. It was just…peaceful, attention directed elsewhere. 

The reason Kokichi pushed it so hard with Kaito, tried to give him advice and explanations was because Kaito was unhappy with his exchanges and bonds. Kokichi had even tried to push for giving up those bonds, and that had caused one of their biggest fights to date. Kaito was just a person that wanted to be involved with…near every aspect of his loved one’s lives.

…which included Maki’s love life, even if who she chose to date and how she wanted to navigate that relationship was her own business. 

Kokichi…did see reason in Dr. Mariah’s claim. He did really think there was a lot that Maki just didn’t have to share, and it wouldn’t be a detriment to their relationship, but…

He shrugged a little, giving Maki a small, encouraging smile. “...for me, mostly…it just matters to me if you’re happy. So in that lens, I do care about how things are going with Elia, and of course I’d be thrilled to listen to anything you wanna talk about for any reason. But as long as you are happy, I’m not gonna push for anything more. In a non-teasing way, at least.”

“Well, obviously.” Maki huffed, though her look at Kokichi was more fondly amused than actually admonishing, “She’s clearly talking about Kaito.”

“Okay, sure, but I’m not going to stop you from dating anyone you want to date!” Kaito suddenly said defensively, looking mildly panicked at the open call out, “It’s always been up to you, who you want to date! I am all about it! I am the wingman!”

“I recall a very vicious fight between you two not that many sessions ago, where you two were still arguing over relationships the other had from back when you were teenagers.” Dr. Mariah reminded them, a tad dryly. “Even if we don’t take into account Timothy, who is a factor, and even if we don’t take into account Maki’s importance to this group, which is a factor, the fact of the matter is that while neither of you are actually accountable to each other, your actions don’t reflect that. With the very specific exception of a sexually active relationship, you two have been keeping track of each other and interacting how otherwise someone in a couples relationship would. From how I understand it, you adopted Timothy together on what ultimately amounts on a whim. That’s not the sort of decision one makes without a certain expectation of long term stability in the relationship.”

“Okay, but in my defense, that was entirely Kaito’s fault.” Maki said blankly. “And he picked me because I was an assassin, not because I was Maki-roll. It was convenience.”

“You being his mentor didn’t really mean you both had to adopt him.” Shuichi pointed out, “And, well… you’ve said before how hard it was watching him get married.”

Maki frowned, before looking away, frustrated, “Lingering phantom pains.”

“We’re not trying to accuse anyone of anything, or tease, or pressure.” Dr. Mariah said sternly, looking around the group, “We’re just acknowledging that there may be feelings involved in this group that will need to be addressed as Maki’s relationships develop, lest we have another fight like the one we had that day over your high school relationships. Those feelings don’t have to result in compelled action on anyone’s part. They just need to be acknowledged and communicated.”

“I didn’t just pick you because you were an assassin, Maki-roll,” Kaito said, still lingering on that, honestly barely listening to Dr. Mariah as he gave Maki a concerned look, “Is that what you think? Look, I know I had to come up with a plan quickly to save Tim when I woke up, and you were absolutely the easiest choice, but… part of that ease was knowing I could count on you. Initially to play along and hold your own during questioning, but later when it really hit us what a commitment we had signed up for with him?  You weren’t just convenient, you're one of the most loving, dedicated, reliable people I know, and that goes triple when it comes to children. I know we’ve had some rough conversations because of the differences between raising an assassin and raising a prince, but I still would have never picked anyone else to do this with, Maki… um. Except my partners. Obviously.”

Dr. Mariah nodded, “Your partners… and whoever Maki herself will pick.”

Kaito shook his head, “No, see… I mean, yes, and maybe that is something we should talk about just because it’d keep me on the same page. But I trust Maki. She wouldn’t bring anyone into Tim’s life, or our lives, for that matter, who was going to be a problem. If she does end up dating casually, which I am still encouraging you to do, Maki! If only so I can live vicariously through you painting the town red?” Kaito grinned at her, “Telling me about weird dates and cool people, then awesome! But if Maki’s gonna get into an actual relationship with someone, where it would impact us? She’s gonna pick a winner. Hell, she basically turned down Kaede the second my cousin became queen in the most ‘go fuck yourself’ way possible when Kaede proved to be bad for her massive family, and Kaede just became queen. And is Kaede… my point is, Maki doesn’t settle. Whoever she picks will be great.”

“And, for the record? …Elia is sooooo fucking pretty, holy shit, like, Dr. Mariah, Kokichi or Shuichi needs to draw a picture of her to show you, cause I can’t do her justice, she has these eyes, it’s like looking into the night sky but only just as the sun has set, where these dark purples are still tinted by blue, and she has these freckles–”

Shuichi sighed, running his hand over his face, while Maki smirked next to him, “We were supposed to be getting you to talk like that in these sessions.”

“What can I say? Kaito always gets into whoever I’m into. What, did you think it would change?” She teased him softly.

“We’re getting bonded tomorrow.”

“He’s never going to stop noticing how attractive people are.” Maki sighed, giving Shuichi a small, sympathetic shrug, “You’re going to need to learn to live with it. Bonded to a man who apparently commissioned a nipple suit for your bonding ceremony.”

“What does that even mean?” Shuichi whispered.

Well…yes. But Kokichi wanted to make his feelings clear too. Maki was important to him, and even if they were there to talk about their issues, it was important to talk about the easy, happy stuff too. 

But…yeah. Even if they didn’t have a sexual relationship, Maki and Kaito were closely intertwined with each other. And…especially when it came to their romantic relationships. Kaito’s reassurance that he had trusted Maki because she was Maki, when it came to Tim, and his support of her time with Elia was important, but with the sort of points Dr. Mariah was bringing up…

Kokichi looked down, pursing his lips. Looking around the roof for a moment before he took a small breath, waiting for Kaito to…not quite stop gushing, but to have a pause…

“...you guys talked before about…pressuring each other’s partners. And acting like it was a ‘finally’ relief when you broke up,” Kokichi nervously murmured, not quite looking at his friends. “I know a lot’s changed, and…um. Well, I dunno if that’s something worth…talking about and acknowledging.”

“Okay, well, ‘pressuring’ feels like a heavy word–”

“Some of Kaito’s partners weren’t good for him and I stand by terrorizing them off–”

“Alright, alright, let’s take a minute for you both to collect your thoughts.” Dr. Mariah interrupted, knowing if she let both Kaito AND Maki wind themselves up and get into one of their one on one conversations, the two would be almost impossible to interrupt without the use of lollipops. “Kaito, would you please help me bring up some tea from the kitchen? That will give us all a minute.”

“Yeaaaah. Coming.” Kaito said, standing up and stretching before following Dr. Mariah. But as he passed Kokichi’s egg, he stopped, leaning down to steal a quick kiss, running a thumb over his cheek, “...I love you. You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. Nothing changes that.”

Stealing another kiss, Kaito followed Dr. Mariah downstairs.

Kokichi sighed softly, but as Dr. Mariah called for a break, and Kaito stopped by his seat…

“Love you too.”

Kokichi watched his husband go with a small, sweet smile and pink cheeks…before giving a slightly lighter sigh and giving Shuuichi a sheepish look. “...not gonna lie, I might wanna take a nap when we get home. Unless we wanna get coffee or something on the way back, and then I just totally conk out early tonight. I know we’re not leaving absolute first thing tomorrow, but I wanna be well-rested.”

“I have to get up a little early anyway. I’m meeting with the vet before we leave. It’s not really necessary, but there’s a lot of people in the faith who think the fresher the blood, the better for the ritual, and… well, I know Kaito believes in it a little. As much as he puts faith in all the small details of the religion these days.” Shuichi said, “And I’d like for this ritual to go well. He always sounded a little disappointed, when he talks about the last one.”

“It helps to know it does actually do something.” Maki pointed out.

“I’m…” Shuichi smiled slightly, a little awkward, “not convinced, actually. Knowing what I know now? Maybe there is some system in place that makes it easier for whatever happens in the afterlife to happen efficiently, but the way people who actually know about the afterlife talk about it? It sounds very… fluid. Like maybe what you do in life isn’t the end all, be all equation leading towards a definitive conclusion. It kind of sounds like the afterlife is just one more part of your life where you still have to make choices, and those choices matter.”

“Mmmm, I suppose I could agree with that. That feels right to me too, honestly.” Maki shrugged, “I suppose I just meant it’s nice to know it’s not just Kaito talking to the air.”

“I’d still want to do it even if it was just Kaito talking to the air.” Shuichi decided, “For the same reason I want to try to do the ritual the ‘correct’ way, as much as we can. I know it’d make him happy… have I been being too harsh? The last two days…?”

Maki shook her head, “No. I don’t think so. Kaito needed to hear these things. The timing was rough, but I’m honestly relieved to finally be getting all this out in the open.”

Wiggling a bit, slinging one leg back out of his leg to sit sideways half in and half out--it actually was a relatively uncomfortable way to sit in these kinds of chairs, but it was about as restless as Kokichi could muster the strength to be at the moment--Kokichi nodded slowly. “I think it does something because we’re doing it with the intention of it doing something, you know? Like that something means something because you ascribe meaning to it. So…”

He shrugged a little. So the ritual really did mean something, more beyond a show of their bond to each other (or because it was a show of their bond to each other) and so it was worth putting care into. And it’d make Kaito happy. 

…Kaito had told him before that he didn’t blame Kokichi for how their bonding ritual went, but…well. Kokichi was just happy, now, to get the chance to go through one that would be a happy memory. 

…they were all trying hard to be able to make more happy memories. 

Kokichi looked to the side, frowning softly. “...I’ve been feeling like I’m struggling with…what to say. Since all the time it just feels like it’d be some…’hey, remember I’m here, look at me, what about my problems’ sort of thing. I know…for the most part, there’s really not much I’m supposed to do, but…”

He looked up searchingly at his friends, slowly gazing between gold and red. “...is there? Anything I can help with? Or stop doing? I know you guys just said you don’t really have issues with my family, but…”

“You could practice your knife throwing more regularly. What did I buy you a practice set for?” Maki huffed, “It’s good cardio for your arms too.”

“Maki, he’s being serious,” Shuichi chastised.

“So am I. You both better be ready for training to start again soon. Summer was your reprieve, and it’s almost over. Don’t think winter will save you, we will exercise inside.”

Shuichi laughed lightly at that, before giving Kokichi a warm look, “I guess you probably have been feeling excluded. Or, maybe that’s the wrong word… looking in on something outside of you? I can’t say you’re wrong to feel that way. These have all been very ‘Luminary’ problems. I suppose I’m just grateful you’re being patient through this, Kokichi.”

“It’s not like it doesn’t affect you.” Maki pointed out, raising an eyebrow, “Or did you love sitting on those phone calls with Byakuya, making nice while he insulted Shuichi and Kaito in front of you? Getting Kaito to finally disown those people doesn’t just spare us having to hear him gush about them. It’s sparing you too.”

Kokichi stuck his tongue out, pouting a little. Someone had told him he wasn’t ready to practice throwing on his own yet, and while he never called it practice, he was getting killer at tossing his pens in his holder when he needed to switch out thicknesses and colors during work. 

…and he hadn’t tried to claim that none of it hadn’t affected him, but…

Kokichi sighed. “I hate Byakuya, and I didn’t think I could hate him more but now it’s really only the fact that I don’t think she’d leave that’s keeping me from reaching out to Marigold and trying to offer her and Theor a home here, like we’re trying for Sh - Sou. I despise him, and the rest of Kai-chan’s bloodline for what they did to you guys and the country at large.”

“...but I could put up with knowing that Kai-chan was having the occasional phone call if I knew he wanted it,” Kokichi said softly, the fatigue taking over his face again. “It’s…different. I can be angry, hearing them talk bullshit, and hearing you guys tell horror stories, and I can disavow injustice I hear about… I can call Byakuya weak and stupid in his dreams, call Kaede a monster in hers, can slap Sayaka’s memory… But I’ve never been the direct victim of their abuse. I can be angry on your behalf, but…”

His brows furrowed. “...I don’t know. It just feels like I…can’t help heal the wounds. Because I won’t understand.”

Maki frowned, tilting her head, “...I swear, I think we’ve had this conversation before. You and I, Kokichi. Perhaps I’m imagining it, but… you don’t have to be in the muck with us, to help. Honestly, it’s probably easier that you’re not. Shuichi and I already have each other to relate to, we don’t need more solidarity, we have it. We need…”

“Stability? Support?” Shuichi offered, shrugging, “If we’re going with a ‘wounds’ metaphor, how useful is it for a victim of a knife wound to be helped by someone else with a knife in their side? If anything, having someone help who’s not in that position makes it easier. It’s nice to have someone to lean on.”

“I think this is just the ‘fix Luminary’ misunderstanding all over again, in a smaller form.” Maki pointed out, “Yes, I asked you for help with a very specific task. And yes, I wanted you to do it… but I only wanted that specific help to help me do what I was going to do either way. I needed your assistance, not to save me. And, frankly, you were kind of shit at the ‘assistant’ part too.”

“Maki.” Shuichi said sharply.

“Relax, I’m getting to my point. My point being that in practical actions, there wasn’t a lot you could do, Kokichi, or even would do, that could help. But I still consider the emotional support you gave me during certain points in that process near essential. You gave me someone to talk to when I was drowning in secrecy and Shuichi was sick of me and Kaito couldn’t know.” Maki said, giving Kokichi a soft look, “I needed that emotional support. Even if your actual actions were worthless.”

“Maki.”

“And being there for Kaito and Shuichi while I was gone was an incredible relief for me, and the way I hear, extremely important for them. The way I hear it, they were basically mourning me already. They needed someone willing to listen and to give words of encouragement and to just… be there. For the hard times. Or they were going to fall apart… you were essential.” Maki stressed, “...in a support role. Obviously not in actually fixing Luminary, which I never expected you to do anyway.”

Shuichi sighed. Giving up.

Some part of Kokichi felt like the metaphor just wasn’t doing its intended job in that context but…okay, he got the picture. And he knew, even if he had directly suffered the Momotas’ abuse, that there still wasn’t much to do. He couldn’t go back in time and…like, kidnap his friends from the lives they’d had. They wouldn’t be them. And given the difference in country, and that two of the perpetrators were dead, there wasn’t much recompense to be gotten. 

Just to keep the remaining two from affecting their family, and to not glorify their abusers. Actions that, aside from helping Kaito actually file his disowning of Byakuya, weren’t active things Kokichi could do. 

He’d even recently said he was a ‘fixer’ to a painful degree. But Maki’s words were a very pointed list that…that wasn’t needed of him. 

Kokichi snorted softly, giving Maki a fond look. “...yeah. Most of the time, the stuff I do to try and act just makes everything worse. You think I’d learn by now.” His smile faded. “...so you guys will let me know? When you wanna talk? I know I’ll always listen, but…I just feel useless not even offering it.”

“You don’t make things worse. If anything, my life has significantly improved thanks to you, Kokichi,” Shuichi said softly, “That is why I asked you to marry me. I like the benefits of having you in my life. Happiness and love is quite the combo.”

“Don’t get insecure on us. We’re already trying to deal with the big one, wait your turn for your own insecurity breakdown. Put it off until after the wedding, at least.” Maki huffed, “and of course we’ll talk to you about our issues. Don’t we always? I assumed that was an open door policy, by this point.”

Well…when it came to Luminary at least. Every time they talked about their one day trip to Luminary, and the culture shock that Kokichi would inevitably go through, he worried more and more about causing some international incident having to talk to Kaede over the phone. There was a less flippant part of him worried about how much something like that felt justified to him…though he knew it was irresponsible and disrespectful to conflate his personal issues with the matters of his country. 

…maybe he really was more insecure on the subject than he’d originally meant in the sort-of joke. 

“It is,” Kokichi quirked a small smile. “But…yanno, noted. It’s hard not to feel like I’m doing something wrong when I’m really quiet in these sessions, or when we’re all talking, but…I know it’s not bad just to listen. I hope I continue to make you feel heard.”

“It’s only a problem if you’re swallowing something because you don’t want to look needy. You already are needy. Lean into it.” Maki said simply. “Being wishy-washy about it is just annoying.”

“You’re in a mood, Maki.” Shuichi said, shooting her another Look… before he smiled lightly, “Though, I’m glad it’s a good one. I miss this side of you sometimes.”

Maki smiled lightly at that.

Downstairs…

“So, was there something you wanted to say to me?” Kaito asked warily.

“No.” Dr. Mariah said, putting together the cups.

“...really? Cause usually when you pull me aside like this–”

“You’ve had a very difficult time lately, Kaito.” Dr. Mariah said, indicating for him to pick up the platter, “And you tend to taste more at peace after you’ve gotten up and walked around a little. I’m merely providing you an excuse to do so.”

“...taste.” Kaito murmured, “...hey, um… about the ‘demon’ thing…”

“Did you finally think of a question?”

“...you’d tell us if a god sent you to torture us, right?” Kaito asked.

Dr. Mariah gave Kaito a somewhat genuinely bewildered look, “If you believe I’ve been sent to torture you, wouldn’t me saying anything otherwise just sound like a lie?”

“I don’t really think you are. I don’t feel like you torture us. I feel like we really count on you when we need help, honestly…” Kaito stared down at her, frowning. Something pained in his expression as he said, “...you look so young.”

“I’m not.” Dr. Mariah reassured him, “I may have lied about my age, but not in that way.”

“I know, I know, I just… do you just look like that? Were you born a demon and demons look young? Or… did something happen to you when you were young? The age you look?” Kaito frowned, “Is it bad, to become a demon? Or was it a good thing?”

Dr. Mariah stared at Kaito a bit, searching his expression… before she smiled lightly, “It was bad.” She admitted, “Though I have made a life for myself in it. As has a good number of my kind. Your teachings weren’t entirely wrong, in the sense that being a demon is a type of… employment. One that changes you in a fundamental way. And yes, it was bad when it happened.”

“...I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to grieve for the child I was, Kaito. Things worked out for her, in the end. I am the proof of that.”

“Still,” Kaito frowned, “You’re also proof that someone, somewhere, fucked up. You’re so small… you should have been protected.”

Dr. Mariah’s eyes upturned a little at that. “You are correct. I should have been, though some in the age I grew up in would have argued I was a woman already. But if I was? I was smaller and weaker and with less protections than everyone else who was ‘grown’, and yes, I was exploited for it. You’re right. I should have been protected. But that time has passed… oh, Kaito.” She laughed lightly, seeing the way his eyes shimmered, “... would you like to know what it tastes like? Your grief for someone else’s lost childhood?”

“Uh…” Kaito blinked, before leaning his chin down and bringing his shoulder up, rubbing his eyes with his shoulder, “...s-sure? Yeah, hit me.”

“Dandelion greens.” Dr. Mariah smiled, “Your grief for others often tastes like some sort of warm vegetable, to me.”

“O-oh…” Kaito blinked a little, following Dr. Mariah to the stairs… before grinning a little. The grin a little wobbly, but genuinely interested as he asked, “Is, uh, vegetable feelings better for you?”

“Mmm, it doesn’t quite work like that. Tasting a lot of bitter chocolate flavors in the air isn’t going to clog my arteries, for instance. Some flavors do affect my own mood more than others, though. It might honestly be a placebo effect, the community is divided on it, but coffee flavors do tend to wake me up more and make me energized.”

“Yeah? What kind of feelings make coffee flavor?”

“Half of everything Maki feels.”

“Hah! Okay, that makes sense.” Kaito chuckled, grinning brightly as they went back onto the roof, calling to his family, “Tea! Uh, I hope you all wanted some, we made enough for everyone.”

Kokichi could only laugh at that. Commit to the role you already play, huh? Though she did probably talk to Denji more than the rest of his family, Kokichi really didn’t get why Maki and his sibling hadn’t hit it off more. Maybe there was only a certain level of authenticity any given room could handle. 

Looking over as Kaito and Dr. Mariah returned, Kokichi smiled fondly and tucked his leg back into his egg, nodding a big. “I could definitely use a cup of something warm… Thank you both.”

Putting out tea for everyone, lighting up at each small thanks, Kaito went to sit back down. Looking in a notably better mood than earlier, even if he took a second to wipe his other eye. He hadn’t meant to get emotional, he had just found himself imagining a Dr. Mariah who, well, acted her age, about to have her life irrevocably changed in service to a… chained?? God?? Which sounded terrifying, and…

It had made Kaito really sad. Serving a god of any sort already was a really taxing, intimidating thing.

(  إنه ليس عبئًا يجب أن يقع على عاتق الأطفال.It is not a burden that should fall on the shoulders of the children.)

It just seemed unfair to put that on a kid.

But, well, Dr. Mariah wasn’t that little kid anymore, and Kaito had genuinely felt soothed, hearing about the odd tastes that she could get off of them. He had thought about asking her if she got full on their sessions, but he had hesitated, not knowing if that was a rude question. What was he going to do if she said no, anyway? Like… emote harder?

“Kaito.” Shuichi said again.

Kaito blinked, pulled out of his head, sipping at his tea, “?”

“Dr. Mariah asked if you were ready to talk about you and Maki’s relationship.” Shuichi said, “Are you with us?”

Kaito laughed, nodding, “Sorry, sorry, I thought we were still in the break, wasn’t paying attention. Um, yeah, if Maki is.”

“Might as well.” Maki sighed, “If we don’t, Dr. Mariah’s just going to spend the rest of the session trying to needle it out of us.”

“I don’t needle, I guide.” Dr. Mariah sniffed a bit, sipping at her cup, before resting the cup on the journal on her lap, “...Kokichi referenced a sense of you all feeling like the end of your relationship was, essentially, a relief, yes? Is there any truth in that? …Maki?” She prompted.

“Sort of. Though, I am a little curious why Kokichi said it like that.” Maki said, staring at Kaito, who grinned a little sheepishly, “I can only imagine he was parroting something Kaito said to him.”

“Heh, uuuuuh…” Kaito made a small whistle sound, “...look, I don’t remember exactly when we had the conversation? It might have literally been the first day we were married… Kokichi asked if you and I ever dated? And our history is so complicated, and, like…” Kaito sighed, shrugging a little, “I may have simplified it to him, the first time we ever talked about it. Made it seem less like a whole ‘thing’ than it was. I mean, we had just gotten married, and things were hard, and his poor fucking dick–”

“What?” Shuichi asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nevermind. My point is, I didn’t want him to worry about Maki. So I maybe made it seem like less than it all was… but, like, I don’t think that’s a revelation by this point. I may have brushed it under the rug when we first met, but I think this last year has kinda clued you in, right babe?” Kaito asked, looking at Kokichi a little earnestly, “Like, you know now?”

Getting back in the headspace of therapy and the conversation at hand, Kokichi sat up, cradling his cup in his lap, nodding a bit as everyone spoke…though, very soon, confusion flickered into his expression. He did let Kaito finish, flushing and shooting him a warning look at something that was far more information than needed, and that was important, but…

“I know,” Kokichi confirmed with a nod. “Even then it was apparent that you two cared for each other deeply, and while the boundaries of that was still something I had to discover, it was enough that nothing really came as a surprise.”

“But…” Kokichi shot the group a sheepish look. “Kai-chan did say that to me, but that’s not what I was talking about. I was saying how you both told me that you either felt or acted like it was a relief when your relationships with other people ended.”

Both Kaito and Maki startled at this, though Maki recovered faster, crossing her legs at her hips and crossing her arms, tilting her head slightly in thought, while Kaito immediately chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah, geez… did we say that?”

“Well, it’s not inaccurate… for a long time there, our relationship seemed to be us trading off on who was waiting for the other person to be single.” Maki recalled, something slightly defensive in her posture as she thought back to those days, “It would seem like… well, from my end of it anyway, that it was only when I was finally seeing someone seriously, then Kaito suddenly couldn’t turn his eyes away from me. His flirting would get more obnoxious, he’d trail behind me like a lost puppy, getting competitive with whoever I was seeing. Then, whenever me and the other person broke up, I’d look in his direction, and suddenly he was all wrapped up in someone else.”

“Okay, no.” Kaito frowned, crossing his arms as he balanced his tea cup on his knee, leaning towards her as he insisted, “Maybe, if the timing ended up like that, sure… but don’t make it sound like I was fickle. You’d be dating someone! And I’d be trying to get over myself, so I’d start dating someone else, and I’d get caught up in them, and then you’d suddenly be single and looking at me like I had just been waiting for you to be single to throw some new relationship in your face, when really me and the other person had been dating for weeks by that point. It’d only seem to happen ‘suddenly’ cause that’s when you cared to notice. And then you would do the exact same thing and–”

“And so the cycle would continue, on and on and on and on.” Shuichi muttered, leaning back into his egg, already looking absolutely exasperated. Having watched this whole debacle in real time.

“And who was competitive! I just wanted to hang out with whoever you were dating, Maki! You were still my best friend! Other than my then just super cool, platonically chill super-bro Shuichi! High five, Shuichi!”

“You’re way too far away.”

“High five the air!”

Shuichi lifted his arm for an air high five like the sheer weight of doing so was nearly crushing him. Kaito snapped his hand into the air, ignoring Shuichi’s increasingly dying look in his seat, before pointing at Maki, “I was being a good friend, getting to know the people you cared about!”

“Sure, and just trying to beat them in whatever hobby they happened to put a lot of time or effort into–”

“I was trying to relate to them! We tried a lot of really cool things as a group because of that! Remember city bungy jumping!?”

“Nnnngh.” Shuichi groaned. Remembering well.

“I do remember that. I remember you jumping before the second safety check to prove how much braver you were than Shiela. You could have died.”

“But I didn’t! So it was probably fine!”

Dr. Mariah sipped at her tea. “Maki, did you ever feel a need to be competitive with the people Kaito was dating?”

Maki scoffed. “If Kaito had any standards? Maybe I would have. But his taste was terrible… no offense, Shuichi.”

“No offense to yourself,” Shuichi grumbled.

“Kokichi’s the most impressive person he’s ever been with– again, no offense Shuichi– and Kokichi only bothered with him because two systems of government made him.” Maki sniffed, “Everyone else was garbage.”

“Hey! You liked Monique!”

“I liked her better when she realized she could do without the drama and cut you off.”

“...ouch.” Kaito said simply. “It was mutual. She needed more time to work on her degree, and so did I. We both made that choice to focus on our careers.”

Maki was about to open her mouth to reply, but Dr. Mariah put up her hands, visually calling for silence, “Alright, alright… I think it’s fair to say by this point that you all didn’t always love it when the other person was in a relationship. But this was back in school, before you dated each other, yes?”

Kaito frowned, “Well, Monique was college, but otherwise, yeah.”

“So things didn’t change once you two had attempted a relationship with each other and realized you weren’t compatible?”

“...I don’t know?” Kaito shrugged, “You gotta understand, kinda ragging on each other when it came to whoever we were with was just sort of… part of our dynamic? Like, I know how it sounds when we summarize it like this, but it felt less jealous back then and more like we were teasing each other, or even, like, kind of… meanly rooting each other on?”

“How so?”

“Well, Maki would make fun of my relationships, but, looking back at it… a lot of my relationships were rough. And while I know there’s an argument against this, I do feel like my choices got better as time went on, and Maki’s input had something to do with that. And Maki’s got a real thing for picking people who are really good at whatever they’re trying to do, right? She likes winners. So competing against her dates always kind of felt like a way to let her show that off. It’s not like I won most of those competitions… Maki and I’s relationship stuff kind of felt a little ‘rivalry’ at times. Both of us trying to outdo each others expectations… at least that’s how it felt on my end.”

Maki shrugged, “Maybe a little. I also just didn’t like how often you’d end up with total losers. If you were going to reject me for them, they might as well be competitive.”

“...well, I mean, I totally won in the end though, right?” Kaito said, pointing to Kokichi and Shuichi with his index and middle finger, “Like, right?”

“You cheated getting Kokichi, but I’ll admit, did not see the Shuichi thing coming. That was a surprise success, yes.”

…the reason Kokichi had brought it up, as something to at least have a discussion about when it came to the intersection of Maki and Kaito’s relationship, and Maki’s dating life was…well, maybe it was different, when it was happening. That it really was just getting to know someone, or teasing in their usual style. 

But, at least the way they told the story…it sounded like it was just about Kaito and Maki, and that the other people involved were just incidental. Maybe that was because they didn’t last, so of course they’d talk more about the people who were still here, or maybe it was just because Kokichi had basically no experience casually dating, and it was more normal to just…not really regard dates that much. 

But that was a normality that just seemed…depressing and disrespectful to Kokichi. Sure, you didn’t have to go into every relationship expecting it to last forever, but surely if you made an effort to be more than a one-night stand you’d want to be considered. Be more than just a body.

Kokichi just…wanted Maki to have a real chance with Elia. Everything he’d said when he tried to convince Kaito not to spy on…

Kokichi blinked, his internal calendar matching up with events. 

Looking between his friends, Kokichi smiled softly, being called a success--even an ill-begotten one--though he gave them a considering look. “...so none of that feels like it’d be a strain as Maki-chan explores her love life going forward?” His lips tensed slightly, before gathering his courage. “...even with the getting permission and wanting to spy stuff?”

Maki tucked her hair behind her ear, looking away. Kaito, again, paled. Neither of them having been thinking about that, and once it was said aloud, realizing that they hadn’t expected anyone to point it out. It feeling…

…oddly personal.

While they had been able to talk about the past with a casualness that mostly was reminiscing– maybe those things, those experiences, had had consequences once, but time had made it irrelevant– what Kokichi was referencing was recent. Raw. A little intimate and embarrassing. Maki’s defenses immediately went up, her face still into something distant and unconcerned, while Kaito found himself looking at Maki. Looking for clues to what he should say. What he was allowed to say.

When Maki gave him nothing to work with, Kaito floundered a little, “Uh–”

“Spying?” Dr. Mariah prompted, “Apologies, I’m not familiar with this story.”

“Um… yeah. Yeah! Well…” Kaito ran his hand over his mouth for a moment, lightly massaging his lower jaw for a minute before saying, “When Maki was first asked out? Cause, Elia asked her out, which I personally really like, I thought that was brave of her… anyway, Elia asked her out, and Maki wanted to say yes! But she…”

Maki shrugged, still looking away. Her face impassive. “I made him vow to make decisions for me. I might as well give him the opportunity sometimes.”

“You asked Kaito for permission to date Elia?” Dr. Mariah clarified. “...was there a reason you needed the assistance of his vow in that moment? As far as I’ve understood it, your requests for his help in deciding things is actually fairly rare.”

“I…” Maki frowned, her back stiffening, “...I needed Kaito to point it out to me, if it was a bad idea. I wanted to date Elia, but… I’m aware I’m not at a very good point in my life right now. I have things going on that Elia isn’t aware of, and really shouldn’t be her problem. I just took a country hostage a few months ago… if anyone was going to tell me that I wasn’t ready, I was counting on Kaito to do so.”

“That’s certainly a level of trust. Why Kaito? Why not ask Shuichi?” Dr. Mariah asked, “Certainly he would warn you if you weren’t ready to return to dating.”

Maki shrugged again, “...Shuichi and I are incredibly close. He’s my dearest person. But Kaito knows sides of me that are more relevant. Kaito would recognize it faster, if I was going to struggle in a romantic relationship.”

“Which, perhaps would be good for a person you’re seeking advice from.” Dr. Mariah said carefully, “But this wasn’t advice. This was permission. Can you explain why?”

“......I think… I would have…” Maki frowned. Annoyed with herself. “...felt guilty. Without that permission.”

“Can you explain why?”

“Because I denied food to thousands of people.” Maki said stiffly, “To further my own agendas. Maybe I don’t deserve to go off on dates with pretty people with cute freckles and gentle smiles. Maybe something like that shouldn’t be allowed.”

“Are you, perhaps, giving Kaito room to punish you for perceived wrongs?” Dr. Mariah guessed, “Is that what the vow is about? Giving him the ability to make you unhappy?”

“Kaito would never do that.” Maki said, looking at Dr. Mariah with something a little like exasperation, like she thought the guess was stupid. “He would never go out of his way to make me unhappy. He loves me.”

“....” Dr. Mariah hummed a little, “...are you giving Kaito control of these choices, to mitigate your desire to punish yourself then? If you hadn’t put the decision into Kaito’s hands, would you have dated Elia? Would you have given yourself permission?”

“Wouldn’t that be quite spoiled of me.” Maki murmured, eyes distant and far away, “Giving my happiness to someone I know would never deny me. What a cowardly way to avoid consequences.”

To say that Kokichi hadn’t wanted to put Maki and Kaito on blast wasn’t really true. He was the person that brought all this up in the first place, and his intentions hadn’t been on a whim. Still…he didn’t want to make them overly uncomfortable, pushing for too much vulnerability before they were ready. But he did think this was something they needed to talk about sooner rather than later, and there was always going to be some uncertainty and discomfort with it. 

That was therapy for you.

And watching them really start to get to the bottom of what Kaito’s vow meant…

“...what a way to prevent yourself from self-harm,” Kokichi softly countered, giving Maki a gentle look. “Which…seems pretty brave, and thoughtful, and responsible when I look at it. You deserve happiness. If, while you’re recovering from something as traumatic as war, you think you’d try to sabotage, or refrain from your own happiness, then…what greater act of respect for yourself and your loved ones could there be, than to place that burden of decision on someone that will always try to point you in the direction towards your greatest happiness, whatever that looks like.”

“It is avoiding consequences, sorta,” Kokichi shrugged with a tired smile, “So…I don’t think it’s something that can last forever, and there are more reasons for that than just agency over your own life. But while you’re recovering, and at risk for that kind of self-harm…then, yeah. It’s a monumental act of trust, for Kai-chan, and a responsible path for your own safety.”

Dr. Mariah tasted the air.

Kaito was not surprised, though he was sad. He was fussing with his joints, still looking uncomfortable, but Dr. Mariah got the idea that Kaito had known why Maki had asked him to take responsibility for her choices. Recalling the story of Maki riding herself into illness and blood to throw herself at Kaito’s feet in a submission bow as soon as the war was done, it sounded like something that had started right away. Maki needing Kaito to be kind to her, because in the moment she could not be kind to herself.

Dr. Mariah too, in the last session the vow had come up in, had suspected that was part of the point of the vow. It was extremely co-dependent, and it wasn’t fair on Kaito, honestly… but Dr. Mariah had hesitated in exploring it with them then, because, well…

“Self harm can be tricky.” She said aloud, getting their attention, “Especially crisis self harm. There’s some forms of self harm that people do over long periods of time, like little rituals for themselves, that can be because of any number of things. Sometimes people are struggling with derealization, where they feel the world around them is slightly fake, and an act of self harm can bring them back to reality, sometimes it’s a sort of continuous self punishment, or even some personal way of trying to condition yourself into better behavior, however that’s defined to the individual… but the trickiest one is when a person is putting themselves in a position of self-harm to avoid a mental trap that will compel them into a more significant sort of self harm.”

“I remember a case file I read once, of an unfortunate gentleman who used to lightly prick at his chest with a knife every day. He did it, he told the therapist, because the prick reminded him that the knife hurt, and that he’d be in a great deal of pain if he stabbed himself. The pricks his way of deflecting suicide… that case study is taught to us, because the therapist made a terrible mistake. Instead of focusing on why the man wanted to commit suicide and dealing with those feelings, he focused on convincing the man to stop his acts of self harm. Prioritizing sparring him the self-mutilation. Unfortunately… not long after the man made a symbolic gesture of getting rid of the knife he used permanently, he found another method of suicide. One that wouldn’t deter him with a taste of the pain.” Dr. Mariah sighed.

Shuichi frowned. “...okay. Grim.”

“A dark story, I apologize. I’m mostly attempting to explain my thought process of why I will be saying that this is a very unhealthy dynamic… that I am, currently, in no way going to try to dissuade. This vow is a symptom of something else, and dealing with that is a larger priority that convincing you both that this dynamic isn’t good for you.” Dr. Mariah said, looking between Maki and Kaito, “Both of these things are true at the same time: Kaito should not be making decisions for you, Maki, relationship or otherwise, but if you’ve found a coping method to stop yourself from self harm, you shouldn’t abandon it. Yet.”

“Sure… I mean, Kokichi said it better, and shorter.” Maki said, shooting Kokichi a thankful look, “And I appreciate that how foolish I’m being wasn’t the first thing pointed out… but I knew I couldn’t let Kaito take back his vow now anyway. Because right now I do know what sort of choices I’d make, if I was making them for myself… and they’d be cowardly. Even more so. Running from the choices I’ve already made. It’s too late to change any of it. I don’t even know if redemption is possible, for a situation like mine… does the good of taking down the program, the lives I’ve saved there, outweigh the harm I caused, the people caught up under that fucking empty word ‘collateral’?”

Maki was clearly half talking to herself, her gaze distant, as she said, “Does it balance each other out? Maybe it doesn’t matter what good I did. Maybe it’s not a scale, but the harm is it’s own, separate thing, a wound I can’t possibly close. Maybe there is no redemption for me, only forgiveness, and maybe I don’t deserve to be forgiven. Maybe life just shouldn’t ‘go on’ for me, one of the ones who got away with it…”

She said all this quietly, to herself… before looking up at Kaito. A questioning look on her face.

“...later today, we’re probably going to swing by some store or another to get drinks and sweets for my guys here, and you’re going to get whatever you feel like having. Then you’ll spend the evening doing something that relaxes you.” Kaito said, “Tomorrow you’ll come to our bonding ceremony in new shoes and new clothes and you’ll be there for one of the most significant rituals of our lives. Day after that, you’ll put on your other outfit and come to our wedding, and have a party with us, and hopefully not do anything crazy like end up on some really flimsy ladder up on a crosswalk somewhere. It’ll be a fun day either way.”

“And after that?” Maki asked.

Kaito shrugged, “I don’t know yet. I’ll decide later.”

“So unhealthy. But that’s a future problem. For now we’re going to work on the roots.” Dr. Mairah said, “Kaito, what about the ‘spying’ thing Kokichi brought up?”

“Oh… I was just worried about her. I mean, yeah, I wanted Maki to go on her date because she deserves nice things like that to happen, but I got worried Elia… I don’t know. I just wanted Maki to be safe and not be messed with. It was an impulse decision, it felt like something Maki herself would do for me, hell, has done for me… but Kokichi talked me out of it. Which is probably for the best, I suck at sneaking.”

Kokichi returned Maki’s smile, his eyes still fond. He had said it shorter, but mostly because he shuffled quite a lot under “for more reasons than that”. The vow and resulting dynamic wasn’t fair to Kaito at all. Not when she forced him to make it, and not now, when things had calmed down more. Kokichi could so easily remember Kaito crying into his chest, saying that his closure, or even his attempt to get it, had been stolen from him. About the days of passive aggression, and the tension between them, unable to be released. 

It was an unhealthy dynamic. 

But it was keeping Maki alive, or at least from a lot of self-sabotage. It was giving her a chance for happiness when she didn’t think she deserved it. And while that wasn’t a solution…it was something that Kokichi really thought she needed. Something that probably would help a lot when it got to the point she could start working on a solution.

And then from Kaito’s side…

Kokichi sighed, shooting his husband a soft look. “...you were right, that there’s a lot to talk about, concerning what parts of Maki-chan’s relationships are our business. We’re family, and life-long friends, and co-parents…all that stuff is important, in bringing a new person into your life,” he nodded to Maki. “But… I dunno. I thought that you and Elia deserved some time with each other to decide if you even want to try being that close, before we bring all the rest of our baggage in your faces. That’s why I told Kai-chan I thought it was a bad idea to try and follow you on your date.”

“I’m fairly certain the only thing giving me a shot with Elia is she is not aware at how ridiculously broken my personal life is.” Maki admitted, shrugging, “She probably thinks Tim is my biggest source of relationship baggage. She has no idea yet what a load Kaito is.”

“Man, could you not phrase that, like, a little better? I’m not a load.” Kaito pouted, “I’m your best friend.”

“Right. Like that’s gonna clue her in to how complicated this gets.”

“She’s gonna love me! I always get along with your dates!”

“You’re going to try to spar her, and then you’re going to pout when she beats you, and then you’re going to try to make up for it by challenging her in some even more niche thing that for some reason you convince yourself that because you’ve never tried it before, means you’ll have some hidden talent for it–”

“Well, none of your dates are ever into anything cool, like figurine painting, or milk puzzles! Bring me one that knows astronomy, I’ll constellation the shit out of her ass!”

“Maybe you should just become celibate, Maki. Or… is there another word for ‘person who refuses to date’? That’s not explicitly sexual?” Shuichi mused, “I can’t believe these arguments are about to start again. I’m marrying you Kaito.”

“That’s a point,” Dr. Mariah mused, looking between Kokichi and Shuichi, “Shuichi, I know this is something you struggle more with, when it comes to your relationship with Kaito, though I don’t know if you and Kokichi’s relationship have ever resulted in these same concerns: do you have concerns? About Kaito and Maki’s relationship? Any part of it?”

“He wants to lock Kaito in a tower and give me occasional visiting rights.” Maki tattled.

“It’d be a very nice tower. I’d fill it full of mirrors so he can be his own ogler, as much as he wants.” Shuichi mused, staring past the brim of his cap, up into the sky, “...in all seriousness? Maybe sometimes. I sometimes feel the need to remind Maki that I have dibs these days, and it’s not always entirely playful. I know how these two can get… but in practicality? I don’t think I have anything to worry about, as far as it negatively affecting Kaito and mines relationship. For all their whining and pining, neither of them, at any point, ever cheated on partners far less serious than ourselves, not with anyone and not with each other. And both of them, as narcissistic as this is to say… absolutely love me more, then each other. Maybe not by a lot? But I’m definitely the favorite for each of them, between them. And Kaito’s head over heels for Kokichi on top of that. Maki doesn't really stand a chance, and wouldn’t try for it anyway, because if Kaito cheated on me and made me sad she’d be the first person in line to give him endless shit about it.”

“True.” Maki said.

“True.” Kaito agreed.

“No, I’m more just worried about the day Kaito comes up to me and goes ‘heeeeey… here’s a funny idea… what if Maki and I–’” Shuichi trailed off, scoffing, “I don’t think Kaito will ever cheat on me. I’m not convinced, over the course of our lives, he’d never want to ask. And I don’t know what I’d be supposed to say, by that point.”

Kaito frowned at that, “... I’m never going to ask to sleep with Maki, Shuichi. I know that would hurt you, even if you said yes. Hell, it’d hurt Kokichi too. Maki’s more important than this, but the comparison still stands… it’s the same thing with the strip club. I’d never ask you guys if I can go. I don’t want to make you the bad guys for saying no, and I don’t want to hurt you by putting you in a position where you’d feel like you have to say yes. I know how our relationship works. I’m happy in it. I don’t want to test how far it can stretch by asking you guys to be uncomfortable in it. That wouldn’t make me happy either, doing something that makes you unhappy.”

Maybe. Maybe not. Kokichi hadn’t met Elia personally, but from everything Maki had said, even before Elia asking her out, and observations from Shuuichi when they had met…

It was a lot to ask someone to join in on all the ridiculous bullshit of their lives. Elia would be more than justified saying that it was more than she wanted to commit to. But…Kokichi didn’t know. It was a hunch that someone who obviously liked Maki so much would at least consider it.

Kokichi gave Kaito a soft look. “I appreciate it. And I trust you guys too… You love each other, and that love is truly something special. I just…” Kokichi shrugged. “I dunno. I just know that you’d never do something that would betray my trust so…your relationship doesn’t make me jealous.”

After a moment, Kokichi snorted, looking amused. “Anymore, I mean. I was burning with envy over the friendship between all of you when we first met.”

“Ah yes. Nothing really outed you as socially inept more than being jealous over our friendship. We were clearly codependent train wrecks from the start, after all.” Shuichi mused, “Now you have Amber and Stacy and Temp and AE… friendships where it’s not borderline just straight up actual relationships, depending on where you put your foot down that day.”

“And we couldn’t be happier for him!” Kaito said enthusiastically, “Our Kokichi is popular and has the friends he deserves and it’s great! So does our Shuichi! Maki, you and I are letting down the team!”

Maki raised an eyebrow, “What, your Starbursts not cutting it now?”

“One of them is a very mean probable teenager, Soda is a great bar buddy, and Waku is a Treasure who I Cherish.” Kaito said, heavily emphasizing the words, “So, like, they’re great, but it’s not my friends that are gonna end up making up the bulk of the wedding guests. Not that I’ve even invited Doppio to the wedding. Should I invite Doppio to the wedding? He’d probably hate it, kids hate weddings… I’m gonna be so mad if he’s actually a kid, you guys.”

“Do you… not know?” Dr. Mariah asked.

“He either has some form of amnesia or is really into fucking with me.” Kaito shrugged, “I haven’t decided which yet. He always says he’s an adult, ‘probably’. Either way, I’m proceeding with caution. If he’s drinking, he’s getting walked home, and no wingman privileges for him! I will be his cockblock friend, I don’t give a shit if that makes me a buzzkill! Prove you're an adult first, brat!”

Kokichi rubbed his neck with a sheepish smile. Honestly he had seen the codependency as the sort of ride-or-die friendships he’d read about in adventure books…which, in hindsight, was only more damning. But these days? He had a good social group. Some friends that were ride-or-die, but still had their own lives and goals going on, and some friends that were just fun people to hang out with. Hell, even some friends that it was just nice to wave and say a ‘how you’ve been?’ in passing on the street. 

It was nice, and a much brighter life than anything Kokichi could’ve imagined as a child. 

Shuuichi had a slightly smaller group, but one that suited him, and Kaito and Maki…were working on it. 

Kokichi gave Kaito a small shrug. “It’s kinda late notice now, and you did meet him like a week ago. I don’t think there’d be hard feelings if you didn’t invite him…and, also, maybe he should’ve been a little nicer if he wanted a last minute wedding invitation.”

“...also maybe just ask him point-blank if he’s an adult,” he continued after a moment. “I know I was able to get away with people thinking I was younger than I was just ‘cause they never asked.” After another moment, his eyes narrowed. “....also, he definitely should’ve been carded if he ordered anything from the bar.”

“...?” Kaito grinned blankly, “Sure, but like… if someone else bought him beer?”

“In our defense, drinking age in Luminary is sixteen.” Shuichi shrugged, “Though, to counterdefense, drinking age in Novoselic is twenty-one, and we know damn well it’s twenty here.”

“Counter-counter defense,” Maki said, “It’s still weird for someone in their twenties to be drinking with sixteen year olds, even in Luminary. Legality is a technicality, you’re still a loser to be hanging out with kids.” 

“Social norms versus lawfully enforced norms.” Dr. Mariah summarized, “Interesting, but off topic.”

“What topic are we on again…?” Kaito asked, looking to Maki, “Maki being allowed to date without it being weird?”

“We can put that to bed for now, touch on it again later. I am happy with how much of it we were able to discuss this session, relationships that don’t fit neatly into labels can sometimes be difficult to even begin talking about. But you all are doing well. Now… I highly doubt any of you did your homework yesterday evening or this morning. And I don’t have anything lined up and ready to go for discussion. Is anything weighing on any of your minds? Anything you’ve been waiting to talk about?”

Kokichi sighed, just shaking his head. In technicality, they likely wouldn’t really have any consequences since Doppio had still been drinking with a chaperone…though that got more complicated if anyone actually responsible for him made a complaint, since he had just met Kaito and the others that night, but… Well, it seemed that wasn’t the case, and Kokichi would urge Kaito to actually find out his new friend’s age next time they saw each other. 

But…regardless. 

“Oh…” Kokichi hummed. “Would you still recommend me trying to set up an appointment next week? I mean, I’m not gonna just wait something out if it looks like a crisis situation, but…”

He looked to the others. “...I’ve kinda gotten to everything on my mind. Guys?”

Kaito looked around, sloooowly raising his hand. “...is everyone feeling… okay?”

“Mmm, yes.” Shuichi smiled, “I am, actually.”

“Sure. I mean, I was feeling okay this morning too. But yes, I still feel fine.” Maki agreed.

Kaito glanced at Kokichi, “Feeeeeeeling okay, babe? It’s okay if the answer is no, we can, like… still talk it all out…”

Kokichi gave Kaito a smile, warmer and more relaxed than the day before, even framed by fatigue. “I’m okay. I’ll be even better sleeping in the same bed as you again tonight.”

He then gave a wink to Shuuichi. “And getting bonded tomorrow.”

Kaito clapped his hands together, “Good! Then nope! Not a chance in hell we are talking about anything more! Can we end the session now? Right this second? You don’t have to saying anything, Dr. Mariah, just, like… blink meaningfully if we can go.”

Dr. Mariah couldn’t help her mildly amused look, “Don’t want to risk another heavy conversation, Kaito?”

“Is that question going to be the start of another heavy conversation?” Kaito asked suspiciously, “Tomorrow is our bonding ceremony, and after that is our wedding! We’re probably not going to get a third chance to do this! I want it to go well.” Kaito insisted, his left eye twitching a little, as he clapped his hands again, “So, if everyone is mentally in a good place? Maybe we don’t need to bring up any more discussions, dissecting how, like, Kokichi finding a bug in his shoe at thirteen lead to a lifelong phobia that was actually a symptom of his inability to trust clothing and dreading being dressed up all the time manifesting as literal monsters in those clothes! Maybe we can just call it a day!” 

“That’s so specific.” Maki mused, looking at Kokichi, “Did that actually happen?”

Kokichi tittered softly at Kaito’s enthusiasm before snorting, giving Maki an amused look. “Not in the slightest. I’ve been afraid of bugs way longer than my teens, and I just don’t like getting dressed up ‘cause everyone always throws a fit if you get dirty. And also people used to objectify me all the time through cutesy clothes.”

But that was a heavy discussion they didn’t need to reopen at this time. 

Taking a deep breath, Kokichi stretched before starting to climb out of his egg. “Alright. Ready to go? We’ll see you our next usual time, Dr. Mariah?”

Dr. Mariah nodded, “Don’t forget your homework. Kokichi, I still want you to talk to your therapist, Kaito, you and I will set up a date to speak with Miss Crystal. Enjoy your ceremonies. I’ll see you all next week.”

-

They had stopped by on their way home to get drinks, but that’s about where Kokichi’s loose plans for the day fell apart. As they neared the castle, there were enough murmurs and titters--and blunt demands to stop being so wishy-washy from Maki--that they dropped Shuuichi and Maki off, and Kokichi and Kaito headed back into town, leaving Kokichi’s dreams of a nap to the birds. 

At least his caramel coffee was delicious. 

It…more or less became a spontaneous idea, on Kokichi’s part. Before, whenever he had a legal question that he couldn’t just look up or ask his uncle about…he had asked Yasu. Or asked Nao to ask Yasu, if it wasn’t pressing, and it wasn’t some castle party or Yasu hadn’t come by to get lunch with Nao or she hadn’t been at the castle otherwise…

But, well. For all that she was one of the best lawyers Kokichi knew, Yasu was not a good person for this matter. 

Luckily, considering his position in the government, Kokichi knew quite a few lawyers in the city. And…well, he just hoped Mr. Fugo wasn’t working at the castle today, and that this detour wasn’t just a pleasant walk.

With the office in sight, Kokichi paused, looking up at Kaito. “...uh…not to put more pressure on you than this is already gonna be, but… Well, it’s not like a Dr. Mariah situation, but Prosecutor Fugo is kinda young. He’s a great lawyer, I’ll vouch for ‘im, but just…don’t mention it. He gets pissed off having to explain it all the time.”

Kaito squeezed Kokichi’s hand a little, walking in pace with his smaller husband. “...like, he looks young, or he is young?” Kaito whispered to him, giving Kokichi a somewhat incredulous look, “Cause you’re, like, the Dicean equivalent of a newborn wee babe, right? For you to say someone’s kinda young… what are we talking about here?”

Kokichi sighed softly. “He is young--he’s like my age. I just make note of it cause…yanno, law school takes a while. So…well, I mean, I know you’ve only met one, but most of the lawyers you would meet here are a bit older. Aaaaand this whole line of questioning is why he hates answering it, so…”

Kokichi shrugged a bit before turning into the office building, leading Kaito further in to where the lawyers’ office actually was. Or…where Kokichi kinda remembered it was and…whew. Okay, directory said it was third floor, suite 311. He wasn’t just leading his husband around in circles. 

One quick trip up the stairs, a knock on the door and…

Kokichi blinked, nearly eye-to-eye with the blond at the door, looking at both him and Kaito with an expression just on the placid side of disdain. Someone who…definitely wasn’t Panna Fugo. 

“...can we help you? You certainly aren’t a 3’o’clock appointment.”

Kokichi blinked, before collecting himself. “Oh, we don’t, but I was-”

There was the sound of rustling, a few soft swears, before a more familiar voice rang out from farther in the office. “Shit, is that Prince Kokichi? Diego, what the hell is wrong with you, don’t just make them wait in the hall!”

…Kaito lit up a little.

Fucking finally. Someone who treated Kokichi with a modicum of respect…  wait, shit. This was Dicea, did that mean that asshole at the door liked Kokichi but the guy in the room thought he was a piece of shit that you couldn’t speak frankly too? Nnnnnnn, Kaito would split the difference and just treat both of them a tad warily, as he grinned, “Sorry, you’re correct, we’re drop in’s. Thank you for seeing us.”

He said this as he placed both hands firmly on Kokichi’s shoulder, stepping back to  do so, and then firmly pushing him into the door, just grinning at ‘Diego’ as he hurried past him. Potentially friendly dick.

Inside, they found… well, honestly someone who could probably be the guys at the doors sibling. His hotter twin, with differing colors, and body types, and only ‘hotter’ if him being respectful to Kokichi was actually him being polite or him being an asshole. He became the un-hot, fraternal twin if it was the second one. Potentially jerk-ish bro.

Kaito thought about apologizing for the walk in, but honestly in situations like these he tended to want to not want to talk over Kokichi, so he kept quiet, just grinning pleasantly as he looked around a little. The office was a bit of a mess. Kaito got the sense the two of them had maybe been working on something specific. 

“Thank you, and sorry for the sudden intrusion,” Kokichi smiled pleasantly, giving a little wave in return to Fugo’s nod, the two familiar enough with each other through Fugo’s work at the castle. 

While the lawyer didn’t exactly smile back, there was an easy calm to his expression. “It’s no problem, Prince Kokichi…and Prince Kaito too. We have some time at the moment. …ah, you’ve been on parental leave, I believe, since I’ve taken him on, but allow me to introduce Diego Brando. He’s in the final year of his law track and so I’ve taken him on as a junior lawyer--he’ll be assisting me on all cases, so you know.”

The short blond from the door gave the princes a terse nod before offering a crocodile smile. “A pleasure to make your acquaintances. It must be quite the sudden inquiry for you two to show up out of the blue.”

Deciding to speak up before Fugo’s eyeroll led to something else, Kokichi grinned. “Nice to meet you as well, and, well, kinda.” With a supportive hand on Kaito’s back, Kokichi tilted his head towards him. “My husband is looking to disown one of his family members. I understand this is a little sudden for a consultation, but I was hoping we could get some of the paperwork started today?”

Fugo’s eyes widened minutely and his expression became serious all at once, Diego’s cerulean eyes, in turn, narrowing. “...certainly,” Fugo said, “But…just paperwork for you, Prince Kaito?”

Kaito had been busy entertaining himself coming up with more backstory for the two men: fraternal twins, but separated at birth. One was adopted out immediately, the other raised in the orphanage, and due to an unfortunate fire he lost his birth paperwork, no one knowing the year he was born. So they gave him their best guestimate birthday, and while he feels no real loss at losing his real birthday, little does Diego know that losing his birth date makes it all that much harder for him to realize he’s been taken in by his only technically older brother at the law firm! Oh the humanity! The tragedy! The… Diego was probably younger, right? He looked younger. Younger both in paperwork, and maybe younger by two minutes from the womb. 

Kaito had always thought having an older/younger sibling dynamic in twins was a little silly, because seriously, what was a minute or two’s difference in practicality? But symbolically, absolutely Fugo was the older twi–oh shit.

Kaito’s eyes widened slightly in panic when Kokichi just… told them?? What was happening!?? That was a dangerous thing to say! But the panicked flash that ran through him calmed and he remembered that this wasn’t a secret, and also, they probably had to tell them Kaito was disowning Byakuya or else they wouldn’t get the legal advice they needed. Yeah. Made sense. He really shoulda seen that coming.

Licking his lips a little, Kaito threw that pleasant, vacant grin back on his face as he said– glancing down at Kokichi for reassurance every half-beat–  “Uh, pretend like I have literally no idea even slightly how this process works. Cause I don’t! When you say paperwork ‘just’ for me?”

Fugo frowned a bit, motioning everyone in the room to come over to one of the desks, Diego huffing quietly before wheeling over a chair from the other desk, presumably his own. As the princes took seats in the client chairs, he started to explain. “I suppose that was a bit of a euphemism. You are disowning someone that only you are legally tied to? That is, you both aren’t disowning a member of your conjoined family, correct?”

“That would be some timing, considering you all are getting married…what, tomorrow, is it?” Diego drawled, a gossipy glint in his eyes, before he turned the full brunt of his gaze on Kaito. “...we will not allow you to file a disinheritance claim if you are being forced to, by the way.” Slowly, the gaze slid onto Kokichi. “Surely our heir apparent would know that that’s quite illegal.”

Kokichi easily met the cool look. “It is. I’m just here to help navigate the steps to take and some of the legal jargon--this is Kai-chan’s path to walk himself.”

Fugo just looked at them for a moment, adjusting some papers in his hand--when had he gotten those?--before giving Kaito a more earnest, honest look. “...we do need to confirm with you that you’re filing this of your own free will. Is that the case?”

Who they heck would they disown from their conjoined family? Kokichi was literally only related to Aiichi, and there was no way they’d be allowed to just… do that?? They’d ask the king for permission, at least. What, Miyako? Kaito wasn’t disowning his sweet little baby! Each other? Oooooh, what, like a divorce? Yeah, no. Did they call divorce disownment? 

Kaito was maybe allowing his mind to wander more than it should, struggling to face this entirely head on… but he narrowed his eyes and squared his shoulders at the implications of what Fugo just said. “Your prince wouldn’t do that.” Kaito said stiffly, “Don’t accuse him of such again… though, I appreciate you asking.” Kaito said just as sincerely, letting his shoulders relax, not worried about his own flip-flopping, odd priorities as he grinned warily, “No, I get it, especially if I’m coming across tense? Apologies. This has all been really recent, but it is my decision. And I just want to get it done as fast as possible, just… don’t wanna lose my courage!”

The thought of King Aiichi needing to give permission to allow Kaito to disown him sparked a new concern, as Kaito asked next, “Does the person I’m disowning need to… agree to it? Because he might not… I’m trying to disown By–” the name caught on Kaito’s tongue, which suddenly felt thick in his mouth. He swallowed and tried again, “Byakuya Momota? Ex-King of Luminary? Uh, I think he’s a Lord now, if that helps… they took his title from him, you see, it was part of his banishment, but I think he’s still a lord of the Momota crest? If that helps? I can find out what his new title is if you need it. Would need to make a phone call. That’s probably something I should already know by now.” Kaito said, “...sorry.”

Again, Kokichi reached over, rubbing small circles into Kaito’s back. He was familiar enough to know that it was just a routine consent question that they’d need to confirm at some point regardless…but Kaito’s nerves had probably put the lawyers (lawyer and junior lawyer) on edge. 

Though, at Kaito’s next point, red and blue eyes just looked at the prince blankly before Fugo cleared his throat. “That’s not necessary, and…Byakuya Momota does not need to consent to this. Here.” He passed over the stack of papers for Kaito to take. 

“In Dicean law, the act of disowning an individual completely severs your legal ties, and the inherent rights of those ties, to one another. Often disowning is combined with a restraining order, but they are two different processes, though we can get that started for you as well if you should so choose.”

Almost without missing a beat, Diego took over from there, his aloofness giving way to cold professionalism. “More specifically, once disowned, Byakuya cannot claim any of your belongings unless specifically mentioned in your will, nor can he claim guardianship over any of your dependents. In the case social workers need to search out someone for that purpose, he will be specifically omitted. If you are critically injured or ill and staying in a critical care ward in the hospital, he cannot claim familial rights to see you, nor will he be allowed to take over any of your affairs or make decisions in your stead. A bit tangential, but if you’ve disowned him, you’ll have greater legal sway in cases concerning extortion or kidnapping, if he tries to make demands of your property or company.”

Nodding, not seeing anything to correct in his partner’s--there was no reason to tease and call Diego his protege just in his head--explanation, Fugo turned back to Kaito. “Do you have any questions or concerns? Or any other legal protections you would like that you didn’t hear covered?”

Kaito at first looked at the stack of paperwork with growing nerves, and listened with growing panic…

…but actually? Some of this was… maybe really important.

While Kaito would be bummed out if the treasures he had brought from Luminary didn’t go to his kids, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but…well, announcing Miyako’s god parents would help, but Kaito in no way wanted either of his children to ever potentially be claimed by Byakuya. Which, Kaito wasn’t sure if Byakuya ever would… but his br– Byakuya could sometimes be a little hard for Kaito to predict. Example A: murdered parents. 

Kaito could absolutely see a future where he got hurt and while he was out, Byakuya decided that was his opportunity to take some shit out on him. Or claim him. Which would both lead to the same issues, really. Byakuya had already threatened Kokichi once, with demanding Kaito return to him. That threat had seemed more real when Luminary hadn’t been going through a civil war, and then Byakuya banished, and honestly, Kaito’s conditioning erased, so it wasn’t like Byakuya had too many ways to enforce that now. But still, it said something that Byakuya had thought about it. 

‘Demands’ of company… would Byakuya ever do that? Kaito had always just came when he called before, so it was never an issue, but Byakuya had been sitting right there, watching and learning, when Kaito had tried to run from training sessions with Tengan. If Kaito refused to come if Byakuya called, would he do something… reactive?

What if he tried to kidnap Miyako because she was a ‘Momota’?

Kaito frowned, shaking his head. He was just being paranoid now. Byakuya had basically already cut him out of his life, Kaito had no real reason to think Byakuya would do anything other then be a little mad at the public embarrassment of Kaito disowning him–fuck. “Do you guys have water?” Kaito rasped, his mouth unreasonably dry. “Um… and can we take this paperwork home? Or do we have to sign it here? Is there a lot to sign? There’s a lot of paper here…”

Fugo and Diego looked at each other, neither moving but a fierce tension brewing between their equally fiery gazes. 

Fugo proposed that he was the senior member of the office, so as his subordinate, Diego should get water for their guests. 

Diego rebutted that, as the official lawyer of this firm, the person with his name on the door, it would only be good business towards their guests, and a show of mentorship, if Fugo got the water. 

I gave you this job, Fugo’s dark raspberry inferno growled. 

Because you’re fucking my little brother, Diego’s electric blue yowled. 

And all at once Fugo’s gaze lightened into a pointed, smug victory. I’m fucking your little brother. 

With a guttural sound, Diego got up from his seat and stalked off…and Kokichi simply elected not to delve any deeper into that. 

Turning back to Kaito, Fugo gave the man a kind look. “You can take the paperwork home. While Diego and I gave you the gist of it, I would still recommend reading everything over yourself, and to take your time with your decision. When you’re ready to file, you can either return the signed documents here, except for the final page which must be done with a legal witness, or I’m sure your husband can make arrangements to get it filed at the castle. But either way, we will be happy to answer any questions you may have about the process or legal matters relating to.”

Absolutely these two were estranged fraternal twins. Kaito had no doubt in his mind. He had nailed this. Such brothers!

Kaito smiled absentmindedly, still happily hiding in daydream mode so that the weight of the papers he was picking up didn’t panic him. He thanked Diego when the man came back with his glass of water, sipping at it cheerfully as he idly looked through the pages on his lap. Alright… take it home. Read it through. Sign everything but the last page and then bring it here for the final signing! Easy! Easy-peasy! Who knew turning your back on your family was this easy! 

Kaito downed the rest of the glass before grinning at the lawyers, “Thank you so much! If I have any more questions, I’ll be sure to write them down and come back with them. It might be a few days though! We have quite a few busy days ahead of us! Right, Kokichi? Could be a few days?”

“Most probably,” Kokichi laughed, rubbing Kaito’s back in wide, firm circles. “We do have one or two things going on that require our full attention.”

Diego snorted, perched more by his own desk than Fugo’s now. “I bet. Congratulations to the happy throuple, by the way.”

“Yes, it’s no bother on our end,” Fugo nodded. “If you’re worried about catching us in-office, you can make an appointment, but… Well, I hope you and your fiance enjoy your wedding.”

“Hopefully our little part can make everything else a little less stressful,” Diego grinned, the picture of smug politeness…if one didn’t notice that he was fully aware just how stressed out Kaito had been the entire time in their office. 

Kokichi sent the blond a dry look before sighing and standing, giving the lawyers a small nod. “Thank you for helping us out on short notice. We’ll, or, Kai-chan at least, will see you soon, and thanks for the well-wishes!” A blink before Kokichi gave Fugo a kinder smile. “Please send on my hellos to your boyfriend too, Fugo--I remember Giogio fondly from when we met last spring.”

Fugo gave Kokichi an amused look, Diego’s smile dropping beside them. “I will, Prince Kokichi. You two have a good afternoon.”

Kaito stood with Kokichi, giving the two lawyers a small, polite bow, before– the stack of papers safely tucked in his arms– Kaito followed Kokichi out. 

“...Giogio?” Kaito asked, giving Kokichi a curious look at that. “Another lawyer?”

Kokichi shook his head and gave Kaito a sly smile. “Nah, Fugo’s boyfriend. I think he’s still in college? We maybe talked for five minutes when Fugo was doing some work at the castle and we ran into each other and…to be honest, I kinda barely remember him. But apparently he’s Diego’s brother too and apparently it’s a sore spot of some sort. That guy seemed like he was gettin’ a little too comfy with how nervous you were so…”

Kokichi shrugged a little, giving his husband a hapless smile.

… Kaito lit up a little at that. Giving Kokichi a small, grateful smile, before taking his hand and bringing it up, placing a small kiss against his pinky. “I didn’t notice. I was a little in my head, I think.” Kaito admitted, squeezing Kokichi’s hand tightly, not letting it go as they walked, “But I appreciate you looking out for me, beautiful.”

…..Kaito snorted. His face turning red, flustered, as he looked down at Kokichi with a new revelation, “You did book reading stuff to piss off someone barely fucking with me? Babe. That’s so mean.” Kaito grinned, laughing some more. His cheeks and ears bright red and the color spreading down to his neck in delight as he snorted, “holy shit.”

Kokichi smiled softly at the pinky kiss, feeling warm inside as he did whenever Kaito did that, before he flushed, looking to the side and doing a weird little shimmy as if he was shrugging with each shoulder a few times. “I-I didn’t mean to do it on purpose. They were just…tossing their books right in front of me for a bit there. I wasn’t gonna say anything ‘cause, man, it seems like there’s a lot to unpack there, but he was being rude and I saw the opportunity…”

Half-pouting, Kokichi scrunched his shoulders to his neck. “It’ll be nice for Fugo’s boyfriend anyway, I guess. I always like it when people pass on hellos.”

Kaito just smirked, giving Kokichi an amused look, “Meanie ‘Kichi, pulling stringies, being fun and a little creepy~” Kaito laughed again, something notably relaxing in him, even as he tucked the papers more securely against his chest. Some of the red on his skin cooling in the fall air, a small smile still permanently on Kaito’s face even as he calmed down from all of that. “Honestly just made my whole day. Because it’s been a day. Woof… damn long day. Long few days.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well last night.” Kaito said softly, now the smile dropping away, “You don’t like sleeping alone. I’m sorry I put you in that position.”

Kokichi just pouted more. He didn’t want to use his gift for just…petty stuff like that. He could rationalize it like it was stuff he could’ve picked up otherwise--he did know Giogio, and it was regularly nice to pass on greetings to people you knew, and…well, sure, he didn’t really remember the man, and not every blond was related, and while he could’ve picked up on some sort of tension in the office, it…would’ve been very hard to guess what it was…

But he hadn’t been trying to read the lawyers! It was an honest accident! And…well, if he essentially overheard something, and it wasn’t overtly mean…

Ugh, it was petty and he knew it. But he really hated when people got excited over Kaito being upset. 

Sighing, Kokichi squeezed Kaito’s hand and leaned against his arm, nuzzling him a bit. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one who asked to sleep alone…and I know I don’t like it. I knew what sort of position I was asking for, so…that’s not your fault. It’s a boundary and consequence I set for myself.”

“Just…if you want, you can make it up to me by giving me the middle tonight?”

“He says, like he doesn’t usually get the middle.” Kaito smirked, nodding, “Sure, babe. I’m sure Shuichi missed cuddling with you too, so that will be prime positioning. Plus it’s getting colder these days, and Atua knows if we put you on one of the edges you’ll practically burrow into us at some point anyway. Little heat leach.”

Kaito didn’t know what it said about him, how genuinely flattered he was, the idea of Kokichi using his abilities in such a petty way on Kaito’s behalf. But he couldn’t pretend like he hadn’t found it flattering. He had daydreamed about tyrants as a teen for a reason, he supposed. And, well… he was a Momota. Of all the dirty, ugly things that meant, finding aggression attractive was one of them. 

Kaito would argue till the ends of the earth that there had been a lot of really great qualities in his previous partners that had kept him infatuated with them… but yeah. There was probably a reason that in retrospect so many of them were objectively remembered as assholes. Kaito wasn’t turned off by asshole behavior.

He was an asshole himself, after all.

“...do you…” Kaito frowned. Rubbing his thumb along Kokichi’s hand a little, “...this doesn’t really matter. I’m only asking idly, so it doesn’t really matter what you say. But do you think you’d have ever dated me? If someone hadn’t forced you? Like… would I have stood a chance? Do you think?”

Kokichi shrugged, his expression light and unapologetic. Sure, he did usually get the middle spot because he was the person most excited for it, and he tended to roll on top of his partners anyway if he wasn’t surrounded…but it was still special! It made life more fun, being able to celebrate every nice turn that went your way. 

He was looking forward to the sweet spot when they’d add back their big green comforter, but before the hearth would be going all the time. He did like the sound of the fire crackling in the middle of the night, and the smell of a fireplace was comforting and nostalgic, but it did tend to make the air dry and leave him full of regrets if he forgot to put on lotion the night before. It was a good reminder to put on chapstick before he went out when it got really cold, though…

Blinking, Kokichi looked up in surprise at the subject Kaito brought up, and he hummed softly, thinking it over. “...I don’t really know. If I wasn’t always thinking about marriage when I was interested in people too? I think you might’ve scared me off, with how enthusiastic you are… I would’ve been anxious about what the hell you wanted from me.”

“But…maybe. If we became friends, or ended up seeing each other regularly… I think after a while, I would’ve gotten more used to your flirting, and with that space to think…I would’ve decided to take a chance.” Kokichi snorted. “Prolly would’ve gone way over the top trying to plan the best date ever. Would’a felt something to live up to, with all the build-up to it.”

Kaito grinned at that answer. Squeezing Kokichi’s hand tightly before giving him a warm look. “I’m so curious what you would have thought an over the top Kaito date would have looked like. Because by that point you would have had to know how extra I was. I bet I’d have just been grinning ear to ear the whole day, just so damn tickled by whatever obnoxious thing you threw at me, trying to impress me. Like just finally getting my date with you wasn’t thrilling enough.”

Snorting, Kaito admitted, “Based on how I was thinking the days before our wedding? You’d have ended up in a hot air balloon at some point, apparently. Would have had to figure out where the heck to get a hot air balloon, but apparently I would have had time to work it out. There’d have been a horde of sweets too, I would have put the first sweet in front of your room and then made a pathway from the door to wherever I had the hot air balloon parked, with more sweets inside of the basket to convince you to get onto it. Then, once you were in, snap! Door closed, up we go! A sweet Kokichi captured!”

“It’s hard to say now, what I would’ve come up with knowing you in a different capacity,” Kokichi chuckled. “Yeah, I would’ve known you’re a drama king, but the drama is more than just the grand sweeping things, you know? It’s tied together by all the little stuff, and I dunno if I would’ve gotten that quite right for you. Or what the hell I would’ve filled in instead.”

Kokichi laughed harder as Kaito explained a ‘what-if’ he had actually thought of, his braying snorts shaking his chest as he leaned against Kaito’s arm. “Oh no, I would’ve been amazed! I’ve never even seen a hot air balloon just…in the sky on its own, you know? Getting to ride in one… You’d be so torn! ‘Cause I’d be glued to the view and totally ignoring you, but you love seeing me happy.”

“And, geez, I didn’t realize the ‘capturing wild ‘Kichis’ daydream started that early,” he laughed. “You knew my bait from the very start.”

“Yeah, but I still would have loved the fact that you were trying. Even if you got it a little wrong.” Kaito said, though his gaze lit up at Kokichi’s braying laughs. Looking down at Kokichi and just basking in it, memorizing every happy little line in his face, storing the memory away for future use. Beautiful… “To be fair, the trail of sweets part of it came later. Very specifically now, actually. Back then I didn’t know you at all, so I just thought your likes and dislikes would be, well…” Kaito shrugged, “‘princely’. Probably would have asked a servant to escort you to the air balloon after sending a formal invitation, like how Shuichi did for us. That’s sort of a romantic stereotype, in Luminary, at least for dating royalty. I got the sense that when it came to some parts of the proposal, Shuichi did things he specifically knew I’d like, to kinda make up for the fact that he was doing it on your birthday. Ways to make it special for both of us. He can be really thoughtful, sometimes.”

“I would have been happy, just watching you get lost in the view. That was something I wanted from the very beginning. I really wanted to fill your life with beautiful things that’d make you happy. It’s hard for me not to want to dote on you. I’m a little addicted to your happiness… your whole body lights up. It’s breathtaking every time.”

“I’m really glad we’re doing it again. The bonding ceremony, marrying Shuichi together… I know being married to me isn’t the easiest thing. I’m a bit of a trial, all on my own… but you’ve never given up on me. Even during times when if I was a person on the outside of it looking in, I’d have probably told you to drop me like a rock. I don’t always deserve you. You or Shuichi. But you both still love me anyway… I’m aware of what a gift that is. I’m grateful.”

“Trying is pretty sexy,” Kokichi agreed with a nod, calming and hugging Kaito’s arm. “Of course it’s nice to…yanno, be understood, and get things you like…but seeing someone not know any of that, and trying their best to learn and make you happy anyway? That’s the kind of stuff I read in a romance novel and have to cover my face for ten minutes just to process.”

Tilting his head a little, Kokichi hummed in interest at their partner’s more successful trying attempt. “Is it? Honestly, I just thought he was running low on time and wanted to make sure everything was perfect, but that we’d still be picked up. Aw, sweet Shuu-chan… He made a fairytale moment even more than I realized.”

It was really thoughtful. Shuuichi wasn’t often one to mediate between the group, either just sticking with his own opinion, that may or may not align with someone else’s, or just prone to calling them all overdramatic idiots. But blending dreams and expectations like that to make his proposal just…perfect? For two people who had very different versions of what ‘perfect’ was… It was special and lovely, and something that felt so Shuuichi.

Kokichi smiled softly, squishing his cheek to Kaito’s arm. 

“I’m grateful too, yanno…though I appreciate your gratitude. It’s something I never doubt with you, but…it’s really nice just knowing without a doubt how cherished I am. Even when I know I make it hard sometimes.” Kokichi glanced up, flashing his husband a sheepish smile. “...it means a lot to me that you haven’t given up on me either. We have our struggles…and sometimes I think that, yeah, if we were outsiders looking in, or just one or two things had been different, it would’ve been much kinder to ourselves to give up. But we didn’t…and I think we’ve found something more special than could ever be if we were on our own.”

“I know just doing the ceremonies are gonna flip a switch, change how we feel, but…I’m glad we’re gonna do them right this time too. With everyone we want this time, and our way.”

Kaito gripped the papers in his hand a little tighter… before letting his grip relax. Squeezing Kokichi’s hand again, letting it ground him, as he nodded, “Me too.” he said, “Atua be pleased.”

-

Priest Bullworth didn’t really have a lot that he needed to prep on his end of things. Bonding ceremonies, for their importance to the atuan religion, were not terribly complicated things by themselves. Small prayer, blood presses, a few words by the bondees themselves and wham, bam, thank you ma’am. You could get it done in a half hour from start to finish, if you were inclined, anywhere by anyone. 

But there was such a thing as presentation. And what was the point of the temple itself than a space to indulge that desire for presentation, as he told Matches, “Hey, let’s move the flower vases closer to the step. You’ve heard about the prince’s blood thing, right?”

Matches nodded, stretching his long abdomen, the temple robes showing off his stomach– Bullworths as well– as he shrugged, “Yeah, I heard. Thinking the scent might cover up the iron?”

“Got it in one. Grab the more floral ones, just sorta drown their senses in lavender and vanilla. Ace, Ace baby, help Matches… where the hell did that girl go?”

-

Over in the petting zoo, Ace was snickering a little, “You a little attached there, kid?”

“Don’t call me ‘kid’,” Timothy grumbled, as he laid himself out against the goat, the goat chewing on some straw as it patiently bore Timothy’s snuggling, quite a few chickens having invited themselves to nustle in next to him. “This is gonna be my guiding animal someday.”

“He’s not gonna live that long.”

“You’re not gonna live that long.” Timothy frowned, “Do you wanna die?”

“Hey, I’m just telling you the facts! You’d have to get bonded really young to make him your guiding animal. Besides, I think someone else has already claimed him.”

Timothy pouted that, petting the billy goats side, “...are they nice?”

“I dunno. They come feed him regularly, if that’s nice enough.”

Timothy sighed. He supposed it was.

-

To keep their clothes clean, they had decided to get dressed at the temple itself, the temple having nice changing rooms to accommodate as Shuichi shrugged himself into the robes, “Kokichi, could you tie the back for me?” Shuichi asked, adjusting his long, loooong sleeves around his arms.

“Got it!”

Already comfortably in his clothes--as nice and fresh as they were, at the end of the day Kokichi was just wearing a shirt and pants…and accessories--Kokichi bounded over to Shuuichi, deftly cinching and tying up his obi, an old enough hat at this that it wasn’t difficult to keep the fabric from folding in on itself. Though he let himself linger, smoothing the bottoms and gently pressing his nose to a sneakily found bare spot on the back of Shuuichi’s neck. 

“...you look so amazing, Shuu-chan,” he murmured, letting his fingers trail one of the sides of the sleeves. “Like you walked right out of some romantic-era painting.”

He could hardly believe it. There had been that clench of excitement in his stomach since they’d all woken up that morning, but…just a while ago they were all eating breakfast like normal, and now…they all looked like fantasy characters gracing earth, about to declare themselves to each other eternally. 

A bright grin broke out across Kokichi’s face, as it had periodically been doing all morning, the dark red makeup around his eyes glittering even in the regular light of the changing room.

Shuichi gasped lightly at the sudden press of Kokichi’s face against the back of his neck… before laughing, looking shy and flustered as he brought his arm up to his face, subconsciously hiding behind the sleeves a little, “Kokichi…”

When Kokichi seemed to get his fill of tracing his hands down Shuichi’s clothes, Shuichi turned around, giving his fiance an equally appreciative look up and down. Reaching over to adjust the collar around Kokichi’s neck more comfortably, before letting his hands slide lightly down the long slit that almost went all the way down to Kokichi’s bellybutton, his face slightly pinking as he drank Kokichi in. “This is a very interesting outfit. I’m not sure if I’ve ever really seen anything like this.” Shuichi admitted, idly puffing out Kokichi’s sleeves more for him, smiling lightly at the effect, “It’s surprisingly rugged, for you. Makes me think of fencing swordsman.” 

Giggling, Kokichi struck a pose, unintentionally nearly mimicking the overblown fencing pose that Kaito had once shown him so long ago. “Yeah? I do feel very Inigo Montoya in this, though I feel much more Princess Buttercup overall.”

Giving up the pose, Kokichi smiled sheepishly and fiddled with the long pendant his sibling had loaned him under the pretense of tying the look together, a small chunk of amethyst falling just above where the slit in his shirt ended. “Part of this was one of Denji-chan’s dress designs, actually. Like the kind of stuff they doodle for fashion collections. I don’t really like long skirts, though, and I didn’t wanna wear a short one if we’re gonna be kneeling ‘n stuff, so…” Kokichi did a fun, stilted movement, locking his knees as he tilted himself side to side, showing off his pants. “Pants! And I think these ones are cool.”

“And it doesn’t make me look short as hell,” he rolled his eyes, before giggling and capturing one of Shuuichi’s hands. “Though that’ll happen anyway, next to you two stretch-lords. My tall, beautiful husbands…what’s a guy to do?”

Shuichi smiled, “Pants indeed. They suit you. And maybe it’s just me not having grown up with them, but I’ve found myself really liking the coverings of traditional dicean clothing. It feels very… safe. And comfortable. And, well…” Shuichi smirked a little, brushing some of the hair out of his eyes as he shrugged, “I do look very good in them, I think. They hang on me nicely.”

“And I think you’re a good height, Kokichi.” Shuichi said, interlocking his fingers with Kokichi before bending down a bit, using his other hand to gently tilt Kokichi’s head up, pressing a soft, chaste kiss against him, “...I like being able to kiss you like that. Your eyes are so wide when they look up at me… it’s very enchanting.”

“...wanna see something neat?” Shuichi whispered.

Shuichi stepped back from Kokichi a little, before looking around, slightly embarrassed… before whispering, “Watch this. I was doing this earlier while you were changing. I sort of love it.” he whispered, before feeling very childish, he spun in circles. The robes flaring out and the sleeves twisting around him, before Shuichi settled, smiling with genuine delight… before coughing. Covering his lower face with the sleeve again as his face pinked, embarrassed. “That’s kind of neat.” he said softly. 

“You do,” Kokichi nodded definitively. “It’s kinda moot, since there’s no such thing as, like, ‘Dicean features’, but…for not having really even seen these kinds of clothes until you moved here? Yukata and jinbei ‘n stuff really look like they were meant to be worn by you, Shuu-chan. I feel like you could’a come right from a time machine or from a more traditional town and I’d be like obviously. You just have an elegance to ya.”

And he didn’t really have complaints about his height--even less when his partners decided to take advantage of it with sweet kisses like that. Some cuts of clothes just flattered his stature more than others. Actually fitting his proportions, rather than making him look like a kid playing dress-up. Denji had never made him clothes before that were ill-suited in that way, but…Kokichi felt freer, not swaddled in robes. 

Though there were other things he gave up in exchange. 

“Woo!”

Cheering and clapping, Kokichi giggled as Shuuichi spun, creating a dance of textile movement around his body. “It’s the best, isn’t it? And Shuu-chan really looks the part of the whirling master that I always felt like doin’ that. It’s fun~”

“Might be able to get a little volume with my pants, but…mostly, I think this outfit is good for stuff like…this!” Kokichi struck a pose, leaning his arms over one of the chairs in the room and popping out his hip, the snug fit of his shirt and pants creating a streamlined curve over his middle and highlighting what little ass he had to show. 

And Kokichi wasn’t just following the flow of whimsy, in the silly pose. As he struck it, his eyes were glued to the door, almost challenging in their expectant delight.

If Kaito had a siren call, it would absolutely be Kokichi in a great outfit jutting out his ass a little and looking super confident and cute while a drop-dead gorgeous Shuichi looked on. Like, it should have been a ping in his head, telling him he needed to finally get out of the other changing area and come check out his guys, and maybe get a little handsy, with so many delightful things to grab.

And, he did walk through at that moment. But not because he knew what was coming, but instead laughing sheepishly, as he called through the door, “Okay, Shuichi, before you, uh… get scandalized or anything, I swear this is how they used to… oh!”

Kaito was momentarily surprised as he came through the door, his eyes darting between Kokichi and Shuichi in rapid succession, trying to see both of them in detail all at once– that amethyst gem around Kokichi’s waist, those sharp shoulders that made Shuichi seem dangerous, oh, that fucking neck collar– and just taking them both in for a minute… before his face turned beat red, closing the door behind himself with a definitive thud as he murmured, “Holy shit.” taking a purposeful step forward… about to delay this whole ceremony. About to make them both get dressed again. About to–

Shuichi’s eyes widened, sputtering, “K-kaito! Wha??”

Kaito blinked, taken out of his haze by Shuichi’s reaction… before looking down at himself. Grinning sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck, the gold bracelets Amber had loaned him loosely tied and wound against his arm as the cape shifted low behind himself, cut so that the top part was bare against his back but wrapped around his neck, reconnecting at his lower back. 

And the cape was the most he was wearing, as far as his upper body was concerned. There were two pieces of fabric that wrapped around the sides of his chest like body armor, only just enough to cover Kaito’s nipples, a golden pendant again provided by Amber tucked beneath the collar of the cape decorating over his chest a little. The rest of the outfit was just a long piece of fabric wrapped and sashed around his waist, hanging off his adonis belt, with small tied sandals eloquently matching the colors of the robes and cape.

It was an outfit designed to show him off. Kaito had been struggling that whole time to make certain the chest covering actually fit around him. He half suspected Denji had made them so difficult to get on to pressure Kaito to give up on them. But he had managed! 

Kaito laughed sheepishly at Shuichi’s expression– he was, indeed, scandalized by Kaito’s revealing outfit, but there was enough, uh, ‘interest’ in his fiances expression to make Kaito feel like his shock wasn’t specifically offense– as he said, “It’s supposed to be traditional Luminary? We found it in a book. It’s, uh… it’s revealing, I know.”

It would’ve been very embarrassing if his timing had been off. Not super entirely, since it’d have probably made Shuuichi laugh, but Kokichi had felt Kaito near and…well. It seemed fun. What was today for, then having fun and being silly and showing off and--

Kokichi’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping a little. Showing off indeed. No wonder his sibling had said they could make the changes to Kaito’s clothes in a day, there was barely any cloth to…

Straightening off the chair, Kokichi wandered forward, looking over Kaito’s outfit in silent awe, before he pressed a hand to the center of his husband’s abs. His hand not overlapping with any fabric whatsoever. 

Honestly the only thing keeping him from faceplanting right into Kaito’s pecs was the fact he was wearing lip gloss and having a sticky chest would feel pretty gross. 

Kokichi blinked, looking up at Kaito, his eyes gleaming. “Luminary still traditionally has capes, huh?”

Kaito snickered, raising an eyebrow as Kokichi spread a hand on his stomach, seemingly confirming whatever idle thought had crossed his mind about it. “Admittedly, I think it was more like really long scarves? But they wrapped it around their shoulders like capes anyway, sooooo… oop?”

Kaito looked behind himself, where Shuichi had moved, Shuichi wanting to confirm for himself what he had thought he was seeing as he said, “Kaito! Your cape doesn’t even cover your back! Denji literally made you a cape with no backing! How is that even possible!?”

Kaito chuckled, reaching around to rub Kokichi’s back a little as he looked over his shoulder at Shuichi, “They found a way to make even capes revealing, handsome, I don’t know what to tell ya… do you hate it?”

Shuichi pouted, giving Kaito an irritated look as he ran his hands down Kaito’s back, resting them on his hips, “You know I don’t.”

“Yeah… but you do hate that other people are going to see me in it.” Kaito guessed.

“Just be honest with me, is this what you’re wearing to the wedding? There’s gonna be so many more people at the wedding.” Shuichi groaned, resting his head on Kaito’s back, “I’m marrying you, I reserve the right to be annoyed that other people are going to ogle you.”

“I’m wearing a bigger cape for the wedding. Something that’ll cover me more. Does that help, handsome?” 

Shuichi sighed, laying himself further on Kaito’s back, “...you look very nice.”

“Thank you~” Kaito grinned, the grin a little wolfish as he said, “You both look sexy as hell, holy fuck. I cannot wait to rip you out of these things.”

“Very presumptuous.” Shuichi muttered, his cheeks pinking.

“It’s our bonding day, I am gonna be presumptuous like crazy, handsome. All I want is to be all over you guys later.” Kaito snickered, looking down at Kokichi and running his thumb carefully on the edge of his face, not wanting to smudge the makeup, “Fuck, look at you… you do this to me on purpose, huh?”

Even for Kokichi’s more relaxed take on it, there was something nice to the idea that there were parts of Kaito, physically, that were just for him and Shuuichi…but the rest of the world might as well not even exist, to Kokichi. Seeing Kaito in such a drapey and revealing ensemble, seeing how happy he looked, even while bracing himself for rejection, and knowing that it was just as Luminary as anything else Kaito would pride himself on…

It was just the sort of thing that Kokichi half imagined when Kaito went off on daydreams of lounging around on pillows and silks. 

Kokichi snorted softly. “Well, yeah it’s on purpose--it’s our bonding day! But Denji might actually kill you if you rip all these to shreds so whatever we may get up to later…we’re gonna carefully take everything off first.”

“...and double confirm our baby-sitter.” Kokichi sighed softly, glancing towards the door back out towards the rest of the temple. “She seemed to be pretty entertained by my dad last time I checked, but has Miya-Miya been askin’ you for stuff, hun?”

Kaito shook his head, poking his head as he said, “No bells so far. Maybe we’ll go a whole hour for once without our little Miya deciding dad needs to… I swear. It’s like she could hear us.” Kaito sighed, “She wants something, babe. Mind checking in?”

Miyako was, indeed, trying to pull dad to her again. She liked Herb Smell well enough, he was warm and friendly and Miyako enjoyed the way he played, the older man old hat at keeping little infants entertained. But she was currently being changed and was pouting that it was not Big Heat doing the changing. Big Heat liked to tap her legs and feet and beam down that big grin of his, coo’ing at her little praises, or sometimes little complaints, about her latest diaper, and she was feeling up to little taps and a big grin, thank you very much. Especially in this weird place. A dose of familiarity among all the weird new brains.

Come! Come, Red! Do a proper changing! She demanded friendly feet taps! 

Kokichi opened his eyes with a fond sigh. “She wants you to change her. Ikuo is, and it’s fine enough, but she likes all the extra stuff you do and has decided that’s what she wants right now. Our fussy gal.”

Checking the time--he’d mostly forgone any jewelry on his wrist and hands, other than his wedding rings of course, but Kokichi had decided to keep a watch on--Kokichi hummed softly. “We do have some time before the ceremony officially begins… I think most our guests are savin’ their gushin’ until after, but… I could go check up on Mi-Mi and give her some reassurance if you guys need to finish getting ready?”

He knew he was…kind of fretting. Kokichi trusted Ikuo, and kind of the point of having a babysitter was so they didn’t need to constantly hover around their daughter…but while she didn’t seem more than mildly annoyed with all the new people around, Kokichi still worried about her. It was intimidating! And it was a little harder for her to just ignore everyone.

Kaito leaned down to place a kiss on the top of Kokichi’s head, “Go, rescue our fussy baby. Extra stuff I do during changings… um?” Kaito shrugged, nothing coming to mind as he said, “I massage her feet afterwards sometimes. Maybe she means that? Go give little foot massages, that’ll probably cheer her up.”

Giving Kokichi another kiss… he confessed, “I’m gonna get a little handsy with our fiance.”

“Kaito.”

“Just a little! You look so good in that outfit! I won’t go too far!”

“I cannot be wound up during the ceremony!”

“Okay, but let’s say you’re cooling down during the ceremony.” Kaito smirked, turning from Kokichi to give a downright leering look to Shuichi, running running his hands around his hips as he stepped into his space, “Hike up that robe a little and I’ll give you a nice little rush of endorphins~”

“Absolutely not. Stop riling yourself up, I’m not going to do anything just before the ceremony.”

“Just a few little kisses then. Just a little taste. God you’re so handsome.” Kaito leered, wrapping his arms around Shuichi’s waist… though, notably, he hadn’t actually started doing anything yet as Shuichi just pouted at him. Enjoying the tease more than anything.

“Hopefully she’ll accept them from me,” Kokichi nodded, already knowingly resigned that he was a far substitute from the real thing, where their daughter was concerned. And even if it was another good thing, once Miyako had decided she wanted something, she was not impressed by much else. Hopefully Kaito wouldn’t be all that upset about whatever promises Kokichi was sure to give to soothe Miyako’s impatience. 

Pressing into his farewell kiss to Kaito, and pausing to steal one from Shuuichi as well, Kokichi headed to the door, giving them both a fond look. “Don’t do anything I’ll be too sad I missed out on later. See you two soon~”

Outside the changing room, the temple was happening. Not quite as much as the opening had been, and the invitation list for their bonding ceremony was slightly paired down from their wedding guest list, but it turned out that their close friends and family that they wanted to include in their bonding were still quite a few people. Quite a few people that, despite what Kokichi said, absolutely would swarm him to chat if he stopped to wave and say hey first, so…

Taking his lessons into account, Kokichi moved across the nave quickly and silently, heading towards the set of restrooms he could feel Miyako--and therefore Ikuo--in. Popping his head in, he could hear the impatient huffs and soft placations he expected. 

“Don’ gimme tha’ look, I’ll redo it if ya wan’, I - oh, Bunny?”

“Hey, Dad,” Kokichi grinned, coming up to the public changing station. “And hey, Mi-Mi. We heard you were missing Dad.”

Ikuo gave a small hum and a knowing nod. 

{Someone wanted foot taps?}

{Daddy!} Miyako pouted, wiggling in Ikou’s grip, {Get Big Heat!}

In truth, Miyako had already tried to send Ikuo away to get big heat, but her tethering was still a little clumsy, in her young infancy. Her immediate family was easy, because they were right there and familiar and she practiced on them all the time, even if the tethering didn’t often lead to actions because Daddy tended to intervene when he noticed, but everyone else? Veeeery hit or miss, if the tethering would hold and do what it was supposed to. It’d become more of an issue as she got older, but for now, it was more unlikely than it was likely, for her to get a firm grip on someone. Which was largely why she still defaulted to Dad when she tried. He was familiar, and even though it didn’t work anymore, there was something comforting, when her tethers were detangled. Like someone was giving her a little comforting pat, before sending them off. 

She’d prefer he just do what she tells her over comforting pats, but comforting pats from Dad were still quite nice.

“Mm, she is quite a Dad’s gal, ain’t she?”

Smiling softly, and giving his dad a nod, Kokichi gave Miyako’s legs little taps and touches like he’d watched Kaito do a million times. {Dad will come say hi soon. He’s helping Dada get ready. And looking at how pretty Dada is. We’re having a special…}

‘Party’ and its associated meanings didn’t really cover it. Instead, Kokichi conveyed to Miyako a deep sort of promise, but one celebrated and declared to the world, even if it was just between two (or three) people--like his own promise to love and cherish her that was intertwined with his words every time he spoke to her. 

{For the three of us today. It makes Daddy, Dad, and Dada very happy.}

Miyako huffed slightly at daddy as he tapped at her legs. Tap rhythm and etiquette? All off, only maybe 7/10 as far as leg taps went. Though, the score got a little better since at least it was one of her parents doing the changing and the tapping. Daddy changing was no Big Red, but at least it was passable. 

But her disgruntlement for lackluster leg taps bled away a bit, as she marveled a little at what her parents were busy with today. The Bigs all had a thing going on, huh? Weird. Nice, but weird. Felt like a lot. The big swelling feeling in Daddy’s chest was nice. Like he was a balloon, filled to bursting, but holding on. 

Was Food Smell pretty? She supposed she did like his bangs. Great for little baby grabs. Calm eyes, soothing. She supposed that was ‘pretty’, for as much as her infant mind could loosely grasp that concept. 

Dragon was nearby. 

Miyako put her hand in her mouth and suckled at it a little as her eyes went towards Maki before Maki said anything, Maki sighing as she dutifully held up a small container, the size of a petri dish, but made of copper metal and elegantly decorated, “Fetched the snake juice. Hello Ikuo, young Miyako. You look nice Kokichi.”

“Mm… Still not perfect, but she seems to be thinking things over at least,” Kokichi murmured, smiling softly at his daughter. “I suppose that’s all I can ask for--Kai-chan sets a high bar.”

“Ya were picky as a youngin’ too,” Ikuo commented, giving Kokichi a gentle pat on the back in the cut-out of his shirt. “Di’ have simple delights, but wanted ‘em badly. S’pose ego makes sense ta have.”

Considering that Empaths could be distinctly aware of their own ego, both as a metaphor and as the literal components of their brain, even if they were too young to really understand…that made sense. But Kokichi could gladly cope with his daughter having particular desires, even if they weren’t all so distracted from as this time. 

Following Miyako’s gaze, Kokichi turned towards Maki, smiling broadly and very purposefully not looking at the container in her hand, while Ikuo gave her a nodded greeting as well. “Thanks, Maki-chan! You look really nice too. And thanks for handling Nini’s part--I think Kai-chan and Shuu-chan should be ready soon.”

Kokichi narrowed his eyes, though the smile on his face and twinkle in his eyes made it clearly playful. “Hopefully.”

Maki rolled her eyes, “They better be. Everything’s almost set up, it’s really just a matter of someone saying ‘go’ now. Though, I suppose I better figure out where that kid of mine is… actually, like I don’t know.” Maki said, looking over her shoulder, towards the hall that would lead to the animals. “Really didn’t see this side of him coming, if I’m totally honest. I’ve got myself an animal lover. Who’d have guessed.”

“KIDS SURPRISE YOU, BABY GIRL!”

Maki’s eyes widened slightly in genuine surprise, before sighing as Nekomaru slapped a large, beefy hand on her shoulder, grinning down at her as he asked, “GETTING COMPLACENT ON ME? SHOULD HAVE FELT MY PRESENCE AS SOON AS I CAME IN THE ROOM! YOU’RE TAKING THE FUN OUT OF SNEAKING UP ON YOU, LITTLE LOVE!”

“Awwwwww, is that little Miyaaaa– okay, okay, backing off.” Oliver pouted, going in to smile cheerfully at Miyako and putting up her hands in surrender when Miyako’s face immediately started to cloud. For some reason, Miyako wasn’t a fan much of Oliver, and if exposed to her too long she started to throw a fit. There was no real particular reason, other then a ‘blegh’ feeling Miyako seemed to have around the woman… but Maki suspected Miyako was just reacting to residual feelings Shuichi had, internalizing them a little. Shuichi had forgiven Oliver, to a degree, and had accepted her as a part of his life… but she was still pretty ‘blegh’. And Shuichi probably wouldn’t really like anyone who was dating his mentor. 

But Kyoko she didn’t seem to mind any, as the pink haired woman gave Miyako a fond look, before bowing her head to Kokichi, tilting her body slightly forward as she said, “Congratulations on your day, Prince Kokchi. Have you seen my charge? I wish to speak to him before the ceremony begins.”

“AND I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU, YOUR GRACE!” Nekomaru declared, grinning fiercely at Kokichi, giving him a wink and saying with all of his teeth, “MAKE SURE EEEEEVERYTHINGS GOOD AND CLEAR AND WE’RE ALLLL ON THE SAME PAGE.”

Maki rolled her eyes again, “He’s not gonna run.”

“DAMN RIGHT HE’S NOT.”

Kokichi laughed softly. “Part of me wonders if it started ‘cause of Chase, but he’s told stories of hanging out with animals while he lived in Luminary, so I think it’s just a Tim thing. Friend to creature big and small.”

While he was less surprised than Maki, Kokichi still hadn’t seen the mentors at all until Nekomaru purposefully made himself known…which made it a little easier to put on a surprised face when he did. It had become something of an amusing game to him, over the past few months, balancing how “impressive” he could be to the mentors without giving them any actual fodder to begin to suspect that he really did have a special ability. Not that he ever did read their minds on purpose to play the game, but there was enough going on ambiently that, in other cases, would be quite well-hidden to the average person.

“Mr. Nidai, Miss Kirigiri, Miss Luna, it’s nice to see you,” Kokichi greeted, returning a small bow before patting Miyako gently on the back. Changing time over, she was nestled comfortably and protectively back in Ikuo’s arms, though Kokichi couldn’t quite resist comforting her in the face of blatant discomfort. 

“Last I left them, Shuu-chan and Kai-chan were still in the changing rooms,” he directed Kyouko, before giving Nekomaru an amused look…and patting his dad’s arm gently, able to detect the actual steel in Ikuo’s gaze from his usual glower. 

“It’d be pretty frustrating to put so much work into planning everything just to run,” Kokichi sighed. “Plus, if anything went wrong now and we weren’t able to do the ceremony…even trying to be understanding, I think I’d burst into tears. But…yeah, we can talk, if you’d like, Mr. Nidai.”

“THERE WE GO! PUTTING THE ‘NOBILITY’ IN ‘NOBLE’! Come on then.” Nekomaru said, gesturing for Kokichi to follow, turning– “...?”

Maki was standing in Nekomaru’s way. Staring up at him with wide, red eyes, her hands still near the bottom of her dress. “...”

“...” Nekomaru smirked. Reaching over to pat her on the shoulder, snickering, “Not a scratch, got it. AW, MAKES ME PROUDER AND PROUDER EVERY DAY! GOTTA BE PRACTICING THAT LOOK IN THE MIRROR! SO STUDIOUS!”

Maki huffed, rolling her eyes for the third time, before turning to Ikuo. “You good? Need a break?”

Nekomaru didn’t bother listening in on whatever his daughter was talking about, heading out to the first available door outside of the temple. He sighed as soon as he stepped out into fresh air, an odd change in his mannerisms the second they were out of sight of other people. Leaning against the wall, he took out a small flask from his pocket and shivered, muttering as he took a small sip from it, “Gets so freaking cold here. Don’t know how you all stand it.”

As they left to the sound of Ikuo reassuring Maki that he was doing fine--but Miyako was always happy to spend time with her aunt--Kokichi took a deep breath of the fall air, the day having that definite crispness that you just couldn’t get in summer, despite most of the days still being quite sunny. “In fairness, I don’t understand how you guys deal with the heat in Luminary. All the summer stories Maki-chan, Shuu-chan, and Kai-chan tell me just sound like lies…and they thought I was lying too when I kept warning them about the snow here,” he chuckled.

Feeling braced and bolstered by the chill in the air, Kokichi stretched his shoulders a little, looking at the little side-lot they’d stepped into before giving Nekomaru a smaller smile. “I have a feeling this isn’t what you wanted to talk about, but…really. Thank you for being here. I know I only know the tip of the iceberg for how much it means to Kai-chan and Shuu-chan that their family is here for our bonding ceremony and wedding. We’d want to devote ourselves to each other even if no one else was there…but it means the world that the people we care about are. So…thank you.”

“Well, you’re welcome! We’d have still come, even if it wasn’t you, your grace! Seems you’re this weird little add-on to my boys’ happiness. Who’d have guessed? Kids surprise you.” Nekomaru snickered, taking another little sip of the flask, before offering Kokichi some, “It bites and burns, so if you’re having any, only a sip, little fella.”

Kokichi snorted, declining the drink. This wasn’t the first time the mentors had purposefully tried to rile him up, and Kokichi supposed this was a kind of last check-in. Really making sure that he would be good to Nekomaru’s kids before they would spiritually tie themselves together…even if Kokichi and Kaito already were. 

“I feel really fortunate,” Kokichi nodded, not quite rising to the bait, but having his own thoughts on the matter. “Kai-chan and Shuu-chan have so much history, have years of proven devotion between them, and, just…a rapport that, admittedly, made me so envious I wanted to throw up, when we first met. After everything they’ve been through together, this is…such a heartfelt next step. I’m happy for them.”

Kokichi’s lips then curled up at the edges into a smug smile, as without much pause, he added, “But I’m real happy for me too. Their happiness is all I could ask for, but the fact that I’m getting bonded and married to the loves of my life throws it up a few notches. I may be new to their lives, but Shuu-chan and Kai-chan have never once made me feel incidental or like a free bonus. So…I just look forward to showing my love and devotion for the rest of our lives, even if I don’t have the same track record.”

Nekomaru nodded, putting away his flask. He then gave Kokichi a small, appraising look. Again, a weird sort of… listliness in his body language. A deep tired in him.

“I think you’re trying to prove something to me, kid.” Nekomaru said, after a moment. “And maybe you have things to prove. Seems nice enough of you to try, I suppose. But I actually did have something I wanted to talk to you about seriously, if you’re done putting on your show?”

Kokichi gave the man a more gentle look before nodding. “Yeah, alright. Shoot.”

By this point, the mentors had been around long enough, and had snooped enough probably, that Kokichi likely didn’t need to keep feeling like he had something to prove on the fairly rare incidences they asked to talk. But, well…after all the criticism he’d faced about his relationships and family, and seeing that same need in Maki and Shuuichi pretty much any time they were around their parents…it was a hard thing to really feel. 

But asked point blank, Kokichi would do his best to put it to the side.

“Good. Now, look, I know neither of those kids are really my kid. Kaito was raised by those two idiots of his running off with their trials, Atua be pleased, may their lessons be learned.” Nekomaru sighed, shaking his head a little, “Troubled people, those two. Leon and Sayaka. Wouldn’t have done them that way, if it had been my case… fucking cruel. And knew both of them too long, by that point… decades is a long time. You’ll find out yourself someday. Not yet. Just a fucking baby right now. Baby bonding himself to damn toddlers…”

Nekomaru shook his head again, sighing, “But me and Kirigiri, we’ve been through a lot together these last handful of years. Guess another decade on top of that. Her charge wasn’t any of my responsibility, but damn if I didn’t try to be there for him anyway. Shy kid running at the heels of the big, loud Luminary prince. Running at his heels just like my Maki. Used to worry me. Still worries me, but now just out of concern for their feelings more than anything else. Young Kaito can’t do shit to anyone these days, and, hell, as stupid and daydreamy as it often felt, sometimes that kid would hang around for training or asking me about this or that and damn was it hard not to feel… him getting tall, shooting up like a beanpole, never fucking made that man seem any less small. Never could stop seeing that kid as the way he was, really.”

Nekomaru clutched his hands together a little, old memories plaguing him… before he sighed. Letting the clutch go and saying to Kokichi, “Kirigiri wants her kids happiness, so she aint gonna say none of this shit to your face. So I am. For one, you better make sure Shuichi’s happy and loved throughout his life, because this three-way bonding thing? If this is bullshit, it aint you or Kaito who are walking their trials alone, understand? It’s him. You’re asking him to take a risk on your love. Fuck, Kaito’s Atua’s chosen family, and you know what, sometimes I believe all that shit he said about Atua speaking to him. Sometimes I think everyone else just scared the shit out of him into pretending he didn’t. So if anyone could make it work, maybe it’s him. But it’s still a risk to Shuichi, for a practice I don’t have any fucking reason to believe you even buy into. These rituals mean things to us, Dicean. Even if Shuichi aint never been much of a practicer, he grew up surrounded by the importance of it. It’s deep in him. You’re asking him to potentially give up a steady partner in the afterlife. So you better fucking mean it when you say you’re a partner to him in this life, understand me?”

Kokichi would argue that they were actually Nekomaru’s kids, and that he had raised Kaito a lot more than Leon and Sayaka did…but he could understand what the assassin was really saying beyond that. 

…hm. With the whole business around disowning Byakuya, and his perpetual nagging to make sure his family actually made their wills one of these days…he should ask if they wanted to make their mentors emergency contacts. At this point, Kokichi knew that the mentors would be notified if anything big happened, but that was just through social knowledge. They should set legal statements for it…

But. Regardless. 

Kokichi heard Nekomaru out, that fatigue around the man, the character that actually fit someone who wanted to go off-grid and never interact with people again, just…settling on broad shoulders. It was never entirely absent, but it was quite present, and Kokichi felt sympathy for the man allowing himself this sort of vulnerability around him. 

“I understand, and I mean my devotion to Shuu-chan with my entire heart, soul, and being,” Kokichi said seriously. “And…we’ve actually had this conversation between us. About what bonding means, what the afterlife could look like…”

He couldn’t explain everything. About how he had worried about going to the trials at all, because while he was bonded to Kaito, he was essentially on loan from another god. About how they have grieved their eternity. But even without that extra certainty, they still had talked about everything. 

“You’re right, that I just…don’t get it like you guys. I didn’t grow up hearing stories about the saints, or with that promise of the afterlife, and the assurance that there’s a god out there looking out for me. But…” Kokichi sighed softly, his eyebrows drawing in as he thought about how to word things. “...I’m not just going through the motions with this, or, like…happily playing pretend, because I know it’d make Shuu-chan and Kai-chan happy. My vows to Kai-chan during our wedding were sincere, but…there was an element of that, last time. But not now. This is a matter of protection, as much as it is one of devotion.”

Kokichi huffed softly. “...this may just sound like I’m undermining my own point, and that I really don’t understand at all…but I’ll tell you what I’ve promised my husbands. When we die, many, many, many years from now, after we’ve lived long, full lives with each other, seen our children grow and flourish and created an impact on this world, we will go to our trials together. We will help each other through them, as we are doing and will continue to do in life, and we’ll earn our spots in paradise together.”

They would get their overdue meetings and reunions, and get to spend countless days together without strife. Until they were ready to go.

“I truly believe this will happen, because Atua loves us mortals enough he made an afterlife and countless chances for redemption in the first place. But I’m not banking on a god’s good will and love alone.” Kokichi raised his gaze to meet Nekomaru’s, purple firm with the conviction to make the universe bend. “If anyone, god or not, tries to take that from us, or end it before we’re ready, I will fight and take our happiness for us, and nothing will stop me. This, I have vowed.”

Nekomaru raised an eyebrow at the last part… before chuckling. Wiping the side of his mouth as he grinned, chuckling to himself as he looked into the dirt, “Well, sometimes it’s more obvious than others what’s got those two so damn doe-eyed over you, anyway. At least my Maki didn’t lose to a coward. Gotta imagine that soothes her a bit. Girl sometimes has more pride than sense. Knew there had to be a reason she didn’t just try to take them from you.”

Scratching at the side of his nose a bit, Nekomaru seemed to quietly consider that… before putting up a finger. “One more point to bring up. Then you can go back to your ceremonies and your parties and I won’t be bringing up anything tomorrow. Get me?”

“Doesn’t stop her from still calling me a coward sometimes,” Kokichi laughed softly, “Though mostly ‘cause I haven’t been practicing knife throwing as much as I should, so…she’s right on that point. Even if it’s not in the same sense, and maybe that makes all the difference…it feels more that Maki-chan’s just taken me too, rather than her losing anything.”

And, well, she didn’t feel romantically towards Shuuichi in the first place, though Kokichi didn’t doubt that if it really came down to them going through their trials alone, Maki would bond to Shuuichi without hesitation. Just as Kaito had once offered for her. 

Maybe even without bonding Kokichi would make a case for them to join her too. Even if she’d probably complain about them slowing her down. 

“I got it,” Kokichi nodded. “This is kinda the big one, between the two anyway.”

“Yeah, that sounds like my girl. Prideful, stubborn, takes what she wants… everything I always hoped for her. Could have broken her, you know. Lots of people break. Makes them studious and dutiful and quiet, but… those poor bastards have nothing to survive for. Knew my girl had a chance when I saw all that personality in her, despite my best efforts. Big and angry and full of energy in a small, trembling body… always hoped she’d grow up stronger than me. Every mentor worth their salt wants to be dwarfed by their charges someday, if you fucking ask me. And she did. Went and got everything she wanted. Couldn’t be prouder. Couldn’t ask for more… well, maybe that she’d push a little harder all of your trainings, you and that boy of hers. She’s such a soft touch. Never could train that softness out of her.”

“This is the big one, huh? True. Good. I agree. So a big point for the big bonding ceremony…” Nekomaru frowned at Kokichi, “You’re not really a prince. Not the way we know them. The ladies and I, we’ve spent months now learning everything we can about this place. You. The circumstances. Thankfully, you’re not some power hungry freak throwing people off horses and drugging people for heirs, so that’s all well and good. You’re a bit sicker and smaller than I’d have picked, but you seem to be handling that well enough, and Atua knows the world has its equalizers for those sorts of things. Small and sick doesn’t equal not dangerous.”

“But you’re not dangerous. Not because you’re small, or sick, or don’t have proper weapons training. But because everything I’ve heard about you, the reports, not just from childhood, but from the last year, has shown you to not have any violent instincts, even in dire times. You’re not dangerous. Not to them. Not to anyone.”

Nekomaru let that linger for a moment… before shrugging, “Nothing necessarily wrong with that, for you. You’re surrounded by people who are or can be dangerous who are devoted to you. You’ll never really have to be. I just need to know that if danger ever comes for those boys, that if the endless troubles that nip like dogs at their heels come barking again, that you’ll at least stay out of their way. Shuichi and Kaito, they have complicated histories, and those histories don’t disappear just because you yourself never witnessed them. Things might follow them someday, and Miss Kirigiri and I have spent their whole lives teaching them how to defend themselves from those things. But now none of them carry weapons and my Maki doesn’t look over her shoulder and Kaito doses himself to sleep at night. We’ve spent decades teaching them skills to save themselves, and little by little we’ve confirmed they’re abandoning the practices we worked so hard to establish in them. And we know that at least partly, they’re doing it for you.”

“I’ll be heartbroken, after all of this, to put any of those kids into the stone before I go.” Nekomaru said grimly, “Heartbroken. It took so much for them to survive this long… and I haven’t seen any real sign that you can protect them, considering how thoroughly this place has disarmed them. I don’t even know if I can ask you to protect them. All I can think to ask is to let them protect themselves, should it come.”

Kokichi gave Nekomaru a small, sad smile. “I can’t say I empathize…but I do understand how maddening it must be. I’ve seen it from my family themselves already. But…it would destroy me, if history came knockin’ to bring them into an early grave. Or if the future came, or something completely out of left field. And death, while just a fact of life…an early, preventable death isn’t something you can just sigh with a ‘what a shame’, you know?”

Kokichi’s smile faded, his shoulders lowering as some of the deaths on his shoulders pressed down. The weight of the pain his family bore. “...I know I can’t protect them from everything. If anything, this past year has shown me I can’t, and that it’s not even my responsibility to. But I still want to protect them from everything I can. To do that, I need to trust myself…and them, and their own abilities. And our community around us.”

“I trust my home’s laws and my people to protect our day to day, ensuring that my family will never have to fight for warmth or full bellies or fair chances. I trust my family to watch each other’s backs and call out red flags, and when it really comes down to it, to fight with tooth and nail to ensure another day. And I trust both them and myself to protect ourselves from ourselves. So life isn’t simply ensuring another day, but that we can enjoy the day we’re currently living.”

“It might not sound like enough,” Kokichi shrugged, lifting a more tired gaze to Nekomaru, “But I will not suffer my family going through more pain. Wherever it may come from. And I’ll be with them for every step of trying to heal from it.”

Nekomaru hummed a bit… before, looking oddly like Kaito, he rubbed the back of his neck. Dipping his head forward in the same way, digging his palms into the side back muscles with that same sort of pressure, his fingers digging in around the neckbones. Perhaps it was more accurate to say that this was a gesture that made Kaito look like Nekomaru, as the large man sighed.

“...best I can get, I suppose. I already know you’ll make them happy. Like I said, that’s the reason Kyoko isn’t the one having this conversation with you. After having to pick his safety over and over against his happiness, Kyoko’s too ready to overcorrect. Least how I see it. A spouse, especially one coming from privilege, should be demanded the safety of his partners… but that’s not really who you are. Or really what this place believes, honestly. And our demands would fall on deaf ears anyway. Our kids wouldn’t call off the ceremony just because we disapprove. If we did, which we don’t. Like I said, all Kyoko wants to know is Shuichi will be happy.”

“Me? Just wish I could leave here knowing all of mine will finally have their futures guaranteed… guess the best I can ever really hope for is the hope. Danger is everywhere. Can’t really expect them to ever truly be safe.” Nekomaru murmured, sounding like he was mostly talking to himself, “You did what you could…”

There was a small beat, in that silence… before Nekomaru straightened up. Grinning down at Kokichi as he said, “NOW, I KNOW YOU WON’T BE GOING AROUND TELLING RUMORS THAT THE ROYAL ASSASSIN GOT ALL SENTIMENTAL ON YOU, RIGHT? YOUR GRACE?”

There were no real guarantees. There were a few things Kokichi would hesitate to give up, but if there was a genuine guarantee that his family would face no more strife, there was so much more that Kokichi would trade for it in a heartbeat. But even fairytales couldn’t promise that, so the best they could do was to do their best, and deal with the hiccups as they came. 

“I wish it was a promise I really could give you,” Kokichi summed up softly, “But I’m not going to lie just for your peace of mind. I doubt you’d even believe me. But I can promise my best--my family deserves no less. And on our part…we’re hoping for a lot of boring years coming up.”

Kokichi snorted softly. “...Kai-chan had some business to get to yesterday? One of the guys we were talking to was just…kinda being an asshole. I don’t like to, but I have a knack for certain kinds of mindgames, and when he was gettin’ a little too uppity at Kai-chan, I went for ‘em. Kai-chan lit up like I told him I’d arranged for a 600 gold shopping trip… It’s always startling to me, how touched he is when I get petty with people on his behalf.”

Shaking his head, Kokichi offered Nekomaru a grin. “Course not--Shuu-chan’ll know without me even having to say anything.”

Nekomaru laughed, “DAMN RIGHT HE WOULD! BOYS A PRODIGY! SHARP AS A TACK, IF STILL TOO SOFT FOR MY TEMPERAMENT! GOOD KID, EVEN IF HE CAN BE A REBELLIOUS LITTLE BRAT SOMETIMES. GLAD HE’S GOT HIMSELF TWO PARTNERS AT HIS BECK AND CALL.”

Clasping Kokichi friendly on the shoulder, Nekomaru gently– well, as much as a guy like him could– nudged Kokichi back to the door as he said, “AS FOR KAITO, WHY WOULDN’T HE BE? ALWAYS FLATTERING, SEEING ONE OF YOURS STAND TO YOUR DEFENSE. ROMANTIC! FOR RUNNING AROUND SNIFFING TAIL THE WAY HE’S ALWAYS DONE, THAT KIDS ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR THE ROMANTIC GESTURES. NEVER COULD FIGURE OUT WHAT MY MAKI SAW IN HIM. SHE HATES THAT GOOEY CRAP. TURNS HER ALL RED AND FLUSTERED AND DISTRACTED! WHO’D WANT THAT!?”

Heading back into the warmth of the temple--without a jacket, and with all the cutouts in his shirt, it was starting to get a little chilly even for Kokichi--Kokichi laughed. “Maki-chan, apparently. Though I get it too--Kai-chan and Shuu-chan both are good at the romance stuff, and while the flustered bit kinda feels like happy death, it’s nice even past the more sentimental stuff.”

“But the sentimental stuff is pretty great too,” he snickered. “And I’ll take all of her jabs at me for it gladly. Makes it more fun when I can catch her and the others off guard with sincerity.”

Nekomaru snorted, smirking at Kokichi a bit, “Ah, yeah, the Elia girl. Probably won’t be around long enough to see how that develops, but we’ve looked into her a little. Seems like a nice enough girl.”

“What are you whispering about?” Maki asked them suspiciously as they approached, bouncing Miyako on her knee a little, who looked FLOORED by this high octane adrenaline ride. 

Though, as she spotted Daddy approaching, Miyako started making little baby sounds, going, “GAH-GAH-GAH” as the vibrations of Maki’s knee dislodged her little greeting shout, wiggling excitedly at Kokichi’s approach. Oliver watched this with open envy, looking endlessly disappointed as she kept her distance. Wishing the baby would get that excited over her approach.

“TALKING ABOUT YOU BEING A LITTLE HEARTBREAKER AGAIN, BABY GIRL!” Nekomaru cackled, grinning wide as Maki glared at him, reaching over to pat her head and chuckling more as her cheeks puffed out in irritation, “UGH, EVEN AFTER CUTTING OFF ALL YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR. STILL HEARTBROKEN OVER THAT. WE SPENT SO LONG GROWING THAT OUT!”

“I like my hair.” Maki said dismissively, bearing through head pats.

Even after their talk in therapy, and knowing that Shuuichi had directly met Elia already, Kokichi wasn’t really that worried about investigative kerfuffles that his family might get into looking into her…but if Maki’s father called Elia ‘nice enough’? Then there really was nothing to fret over. 

Other than, you know, the dozen or so things to constantly fret over, but Kokichi had long-resigned himself to that. 

Kokichi smiled widely as Miyako got excited by his return and he went to Maki’s side, gently touching his daughter’s back without disturbing the ride of the century she was on, while also greeting Miyako back with ‘soft mental paps’, as he’d noticed his daughter enjoying. Kokichi figured it was probably a pretty normal and good thing, but there was still something endlessly flattering and joy-inspiring about his judgemental and high-standard-having daughter being so constantly excited to see him. While he did feel a little sympathy for Oliver’s situation…the thrill of being one of Miyako’s favorites did keep his spirits rather high.

“It looks really nice today too,” Kokichi complimented, giving Maki a grin. “I know you said you weren’t all that pumped to go shopping for our bonding ceremony and the wedding, but you really put together a show-stopper, Maki-chan.”

“OF COURSE SHE DID! OUR MAKI’S A PROFESSIONAL!”

“Aren’t you a professional. You’re wearing sweatpants to Shuichi’s bonding ceremony, Mr. Nidai.” Maki pointed out dryly, “Poorly fitting ones. Again.”

“I’M AN OLD MAN, LITTLE LOVE, NO ONE CARES WHAT THE OLD FARTS WEARING! NOW, WHERE IS THE STARS OF THIS DAMN SHOW ANYWAY?” Nekomaru shouted, looking around with a huff. “KYOKO STILL GIVING THEM THE ‘BIG RESPONSIBILITY’ TALK??”

“Maybe.” Oliver pouted, still staring longingly at happy baby balls. “It had a bit of a rough start.”

“HOW SO?”

“She should have knocked.” Oliver said simply.

-

Kaito’s back was rimrod straight, knelt on the floor, hands securely on his knees, staring at the floor, while Shuichi was knelt beside him, bright red and still groaning into his hands, while Kyoko was still trying her best to move past the rough start by making tea with the set being kept in the changing room, saying stiffly as she talked, “So… so it really is a big responsibility. Even not considering the circumstances of the, the, titles and so on, and Miyako–”

“Yep!” Kaito said a tad too loud, grasping his knees tighter, having been fruitlessly trying to pull half of his muscle shirt back down and having eventually gotten too embarrassed to keep fighting with it, it having kept popping up every time he tried. He’d probably have to unclasp his cape to get it back on properly. Everyone was, so far, just pretending it wasn’t happening. “Big responsibility, not taking it lightly, Miss Kirigiri!”

“Yes, well, yes, goodness knows you’ve both known each other a considerable amount of time, so to say you’re ‘rushing in’ is perhaps a bit shortsighted… Shuichi? Tea.” Kyoko insisted, bringing him a cup. 

Shuichi, refusing to look at her, reached up to accept it. Cradling the warm cup near his face as he hid behind his bangs. His tying robe still uselessly hanging around his hips. Unwilling to tell her to just get the fuck out so they could get redressed, buuut… ahhhhhhh….

Kyoko, in turn, seemed determined to pretend like she hadn’t realized what she had interrupted, tucking her skirt in beneath her legs and kneeling down on the opposite side of them, having put down Kaito’s cup of tea next to his legs, which he had thanked her too loudly for. “And, well, of course paperwork wise everything has been settled in Luminary, but I was looking into it here and I don’t feel comfortable with how little contracts seem to be binding you together. Ceremony for honor and presentation is well and good, but I want to leave here knowing Shuichi is being protected, rather then just…” Kyoko sipped at her tea, not looking at their disheveled appearance, “indulged.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, went Shuichi’s inner monologue.

“Prince Kokichi is actually going to guide us through all of that soon! Before you guys leave, you can look at it all before you go! The marriage tomorrow is all a part of that!” Kaito shouted/reassured. Still clutching his knees till his fingers went white, “Wills and marriage contracts and all of that! Shuichi’s care and comfort is going to be my responsibility, Miss Kirigiri, and I fully intend to ensure it, legally and otherwise!”

“Well, the Dicean boy does seem to have a good head on his shoulders, at least.” Kyoko sighed, “...do we intend to do the ceremony soon? Because I have noticed neither of you are quite… ready.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

-

Kokichi sighed, running a hand through his hair. He did actually like the makeup that Denji had done for him, but he’d left his hair with minimal styling, not quite just for moments like this, but it was a perk. “Of course they would… Well, it’s not like I thought Kai-chan was joking, but…we all know that we’re supposed to start things soon.”

Glancing over to the more open area of the temple, it did look like not just the rest of their guests, but Behemoth and the other Atuans helping with the ceremony were just hanging around. So…that meant they were really just waiting on the grooms and…

Huffing softly, his cheeks growing a little pink already, Kokichi crossed his arms. 

{Should I come back to help you guys?} he asked Shuuichi, only feeling more flustered by the utter mortification he could glancingly feel from his husband.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Another sigh. A plausible show that Kokichi was simply weighing his decision. “I’m…gonna go check on them. I think I’m the only one of us that really knows how to tie up an obi anyway…”

Inside the room, Kyoko was, admittedly, somewhat rambling now, as she insisted, “It’s really just not something I ever thought I’d have to discuss with you, Shuichi, so I do feel as if perhaps I set you up for failure in this regards, but, well, you are young and healthy, and apparently more fertile then I would have ever guessed–”

“I’M SHOOTING BLANKS NOW!” Kaito shouted, while beside him Shuichi started to gurgle. Looking overwhelmed to the verge of passing out. Kaito subconsciously reached out to steady him, Shuichi slumped to the side a little, as he said, “MIYAKO’S NOT HAVING ANY SIBLINGS UNTIL FEELINGS BABY!”

“Well, certainly, but I’m sure we all felt confident children weren’t in the cards before Miyako showed up as well. These things seem to sneak up on us.” Kyoko mused, sipping at her tea, “And it’s not that Miyako isn’t a treasure, but Shuichi, you have so much potential, and getting pregnant again could delay you getting back onto a career track, which I would consider a personal failing on my part–”

“SHUICHI IS A PRODIGY AND WE ARE GOING TO BE SO SUPER CAREFUL FROM THIS EXACT POINT FORWARD MISS KIRIGIRI!”

Kokichi knocked softly on the dressing room door and even waited for a gracious few beats before stepping in, looking over the situation with a small smile that didn’t waiver in the face of his partners’ ruffled, half-dressed states. He really should’ve guessed. In all, this was really on him for leaving in the first place. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but everyone was getting a little worried, considering the time. Is everything alright?” Glancing over them again, Kokichi shrugged a little. “Yanno. Other than the fact that I could hear how shouty-nervous Kai-chan was through the door, Shuu-chan looks like he’s gonna pass out from embarrassment, and you walked into something you probably hadn’t planned to, Miss Kirigiri.”

“You guys need help getting dressed again? Oh, and Maki-chan took care of Nini, and everything’s set.”

“We were simply discussing that my Shuichi’s skills and ambition really are suited better for a life outside of a homemaker.” Kyoko said, somewhat pointedly, even as Kaito shot Kokichi a desperately grateful look over her shoulder, “As the only member of your family currently in possession of a womb, I do hope you both are making every effort to not–”

“Shuichi’s absolutely going to go off to do amazing things in his work, one hundred percent, I’m really not suited for a workload myself, I’m made of soft prince stuff, I’ll be the one supporting Shuichi and Kokichi’s pursuits in their careers! BUT!” Kaito shouted, getting all of that out as quickly as he could, not that there was an opening, he bowed low to Miss Kirigiri– who raised a somewhat disturbed eyebrow at that, though otherwise didn’t react to the break in hierarchy– before scurrying up, going to pointedly give her a hand up from her knees as he said, “But the ceremony’s waiting, and like my husbands pointed out, we need to get dressed!”

“You won’t be able to brush me off later, Prince Kaito.” Kyoko told him flatly, though she did accept his hand up, sighing as she brushed her knees off, “But, that’s a later conversation. Ultimately I only came by to check only my charge’s well being and to offer congratulations on the ceremony. It will be a blessed bonding, no doubt.”

“Yep! Yep! Atua be pleased! Now, please, we really do need to get dressed!” Kaito half shouted, desperately pushing Kyoko out of the room. Kyoko gave Kokichi a small nod of acknowledgment, before finding herself out the door and the door slamming closed behind her.

The second she was gone, Shuichi’s gurgling turned into a small, muted, “ahhhhhhhhhhh.”

Kokichi simply raised a small eyebrow back at Kyouko. That’s what her “last chance before being eternally bonded” subject was? He did understand her concern, considering that, in a manner of speaking, he and Kaito had tied Shuuichi down with a child…but at no point during his pregnancy, or since, did any of them entertain or expect that Shuuichi would find himself as primarily a home-carer. Kokichi would of course support Shuuichi down any path he wanted to pursue, but…having the kids be his “main job” (though Kokichi hated thinking about it like that) was never something Shuuichi had ever implied he wanted. 

Considering how excited Kokichi got whenever he spoke about Shuuichi returning to school, or the dream of one day opening up his own agency…Kokichi really didn’t understand why Kyouko was worried about him or Kaito going back on their support now, when they would only have more reason to encourage Shuuichi to follow his goals. 

But. Well. They could have this conversation again. Not 10 minutes before a bonding ceremony, and not half-dressed. 

Giving Kyouko a small wave as they passed each other, Kokichi went to Shuuichi’s side, putting gentle pressure on his arm but not holding him yet. “Ahhhh,” he agreed with a nod. “Not really the thing you want your mom to see, huh?”

“We barely did anything! I-it looked a lot worse than it was!” Kaito immediately said defensibly, sighing as he rested his back on the door, before sliding down it, thumping onto the floor as he whined, “She made a lot of very unfair assumptions!”

“She asked where our condoms were.” Shuichi gurgled. Finally blinking a little, coming out of his daze, as he said in horror, “I can’t do the banana lesson again… once with Maki was too much… I’m gonna die…”

“Like I could get him prepped for that that fast! I’m not crazy! W-we have a ceremony to get to!” Kaito shouted, looking flustered and outraged, “I’m not ravaging him back here! I’m shooting blanks anyway! About to start walking around with that paperwork at all times!”

“Weeeeeh.” Shuichi groaned, leaning against Kokichi, “...I can’t tie this damn thing back ooooooon.”

Grimacing a bit at the reminder of the banana lesson--Maki had been very thorough, though some may argue differently, considering Kokichi still found himself able to eat bananas, albeit with hesitation if he had a whole one--Kokichi let out a sigh. He reached over and cupped Shuuichi’s jaw, pressing a kiss to the side of his head before just leaning in close for a moment. 

“I’ll tie it up again; c’mon,” Kokichi urged his husband up, the moment to brace over with. “She’ll gossip to Oliver, but it’ll be alright. Let no one say we never have eventful gatherings, huh? It’ll be a ridiculous story to tell one day.”

“But,” Kokichi said with a smile, smoothing out Shuuichi’s layers for him, “We have a promised eternity to get to right now. I don’t know about you guys, but getting to declare to our friends and family and a pretty kickass god that nothing in the universe can shake me off from your sides? It’s all I can do not to just forget about all the presentation to it all to get to the middle. Rushin’ ahead, like always.”

Kaito lit up at Kokichi’s description of the events, suddenly looking excited again as he grinned widely at him, “It’s really exciting, isn’t it? Even if apparently getting to spend eternity with you guys also means we’re inviting the snake along…” 

“Nini is going to be very helpful in the afterlife, and I’m sure he and Kohtalon will get along very well.” Shuichi said simply, relaxing now as the tension of his mentors attention was fading off. “They will be excellent guiding spirits.”

“Well, he probably won’t want to eat anything in the afterlife, so…” Kaito shrugged, before laughing brightly. Heading over to them after yanking himself up by the door handle, reaching  down to wrap his arms around both of them and pulling them to their feet, kissing both one after another, before grinning at them with radiating enthusiasm, “This is exciting! I’m so fucking happy!”

“Kaito, how does those sideways chest wraps even stay…” Shucihi asked, getting squished against his pecs.

“Look, handsome, I had them figured out, and then you had to pull the damn things up. That one was not my fault.”

“Weeeeeeeeh.” Shuichi whined softly again, slumping against Kokichi. “I never get away with anything.”

“I’m glad Nini’s gonna be there too,” Kokichi hummed, cinching up Shuuichi’s obi just as he’d done the first time. “I know we’re gonna be super awesome and help each other through the trials in a snap…but I have a feeling I’m gonna miss people no matter what, before we get to paradise. So…the more’s the merrier, as far as I’m concerned for our trials.”

Giggling softly, Kokichi pressed into Kaito’s kiss before rubbing Shuuichi’s back, giving him a sympathetic coo. “Just so dedicated to the truth, my poor guy… Do you want some help with them, Kai-chan? Or just gonna go full chestin’ it for the ceremony? It’s our day, and I have to say I do like the look.”

Letting out a small breath, Kokichi held Shuuichi close. “...I love you guys so much.”

“Veto.” Shuichi said immediately. Pouting as he nuzzled his head against Kaito’s chest, “Ours.”

“Shuichi, handsome, you know I’m gonna be shirtless in public sometimes.” Kaito grinned, squeezing them both a bit.

“This is different and you know it.”

Kaito chuckled, the sound coming from deep in his throat and heavy in his chest, before a look of calm serenity came over him. Holding them both and humming a little at Kokichi’s words. “...I love you too. I’m incredibly lucky, to have been chosen by men as good as you.”

“You are.” Shuichi agreed… before he smiled warmly, “So are we. Love you…”

Sighing, it was Shuichi who pulled away first, straightening his robes a little as he said, “Lets get our clothes figured out and get out there. The gods may wait on us, as they should, but Miyako’s going to get fussy at some point.”

“Ooof, true.” 

-

“Okaaaay, okay, I think I get it.” Stacy said, looking back and forth between Temp and Waku, Addason snoring softly in Temp’s arms, “So, an animal guide is meant to, liiiiiike, already kinda know how Atuan’s are supposed to get through their trials to the afterlife, and is there to provide… hints?”

“Oh, these were totally the wrong shoes for this.” Amber whined, shifting uncomfortably on her knees, the pillow not helping as much as she hoped, before reaching back and finally unclasping her heels, “I give up, I gotta take them off. My ankles are gonna totally pop otherwise.”

“I did warn you that kneeling on the floor for a while was harder than it looks.” Temp chastised her slightly, as Amber just huffed in response, “It’s tough on your ankles.”

The bonding ceremony room had been set up, pillows laid out on the floor for those who were going to be knelt throughout the ceremony, though chairs were provided for those among them who’s knees really couldn’t handle it. Amber and Stacy, wanting to get into the spirit of it, had agreed to use the pillows, and while Stacy was handling it well enough, Amber looked a little worn out from the effort. 

The ceremony hadn’t quite started yet, though the groomsmen had arrived, all properly dressed, and chatting with a few people, getting ready. Kaito checking in with Priest Bullsworth while Shuichi quietly spoke to Aiichi, nodding politely as the man spoke.

Kaito looked around to see if everyone was getting settled in and would be ready to start in a moment, before he sighed as in the background he spotted– “Girls.” Kaito gasped, hurrying back to the back of the crowd and sighing against as he saw Kimiko and Cali beaming up at him, Timothy shrugging next to them, Chase at his heels, “I thought I told you, we’re going to be doing a wedding tomorrow–”

“Can we see Nini blood!?” Cali asked enthusiastically, looking around and bouncing at her toes, “Is Nini here? Is he alright?” 

“What? Yes, Nini’s fine. No, you can’t see it, it’s closed up until the ceremony starts. Honestly, kids, we didn’t get your parents permission for you to come to this… alright, alright. Timothy, go grab them some pillows. Alright, girls, it’s simple, you just kneel back here and if someone says ‘Atua be pleased’, you echo it….”

Shuichi caught Maki’s gaze, smirking and nodding towards Kaito and the girls, Kaito trying to give them both a quick religious explanation of what was going on, Kimiko looking awed by the pomp and circumstance while Cali just looked excited. Maki sighed, shaking her head a little, but looking amused. They really should have seen it coming. Hopefully the other thirty wouldn’t show up.

Waku huffed a small laugh. “Oh, I bet there are so many debates about how animals fit into Atua’s will if that’s the case. Kaito explained that it’s kinda like you use an animal’s natural abilities to help out in the trials? Like, a horse would be helpful for traversing a lot of types of terrain. At least, that’s how I understood it. Since the trials are supposed to help you grow into a better person, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was more mysticism to it, though, to help with the more metaphorical or personal struggles involved.”

“You want another pillow, Amber?” she offered, already spying a stack of extras (and smiling as she saw Kaito nab a few for some very important guests). “More cushion might help out, if you still wanna stretch your pride out against your knees.”

Meanwhile, Aiichi had a feeling his soon-to-be-legally-son-in-law would rather just be out of the conversation already, but…

“...I really can’t tell you how overjoyed I am, Shuuichi,” the king rounded back to his initial point. “Ko is so happy when you’re together, and when he speaks about you… He’s always animated, but he truly does light up a room talking about you or Kaito. There’s nothing better I could hope for than a partner that truly makes my son happy.”

Aiichi offered Shuuichi a soft, lop-sided smile. “You’ve already proven it, so I have no reason to demand such a promise, but…please continue to care for him.”

Shuichi smiled softly– still somewhat politely, but not to the point of annoyance– as he bowed his head slightly, “Of course. It’s an honor to do so.”

Kaito pointed out some of the other guests, showing Cali and Kimiko the best way to sit, before chucking as he said, “But, honestly, if your knees start to hurt, you can just sit criss cross, okay? Just remember to be polite while the ceremony’s happening.”

“Do you want to get bonded with me afterwards, Cali?” Kimiko asked her friend sweetly, “We can ask the priest man if he’ll do it for us too real quick.”

“You’d need a bonding animal.” Tim said stiffly, looking nonplussed at that, “And neither of you are Atuan anyway.”

“You can do it with us too, Timmy!” Kimiko encouraged. Timothy, in turn, seemed to reconsider things at that.

Kaito, however, blanched a bit, giving the kids somewhat stern looks as he said, “You can pretend, but no pricking Chase for blood, and also no using the actual priests to pretend! This is a serious ceremony, kids, and you’re too young to be accidentally bonding souls!”

Did Kaito believe the ceremony would actually work if they were just playing? No, probably not. But still! That was dangerous! No. 

“Maybe we should just get married tomorrow instead?” Cali shrugged to the other two, “Then we could just get divorced right afterwards! No fuss!”

“Oooooh, yay! Let’s do it!” Kimiko squealed.

“Maybe Cali and I can get divorced.” Timothy agreed. 

“What!? Why!? I’m your best friend! Cherish me!”

“Ooookay, okay, and we’re calming down now for the ceremony, yeeees? Caaaaaalm, loooowering our voooooices… okay. Good.” Kaito sighed, the three kids quietly looking up at him, “Now just… hold it. Good. Okay!”

Hurrying back up to the front, Kaito gave Waku a wave, who was helping Amber situate herself with another pillow, beaming at her. Not having had a chance to chat with her yet but mouthing at her ‘Thanks for coming!!’ before hurrying to his partners. “Okay! I… think we’re good? Am I forgetting anything?” He asked, looking around uncertainly.

Bowing his head back to Shuuichi, Aiichi finally let the young man be, turning to stifle a laugh at the scene before him. Kokichi had graciously let Denji touch up his makeup and straighten his clothes, but the moment they brought a brush out of their handbag he quickly moved to being one second away from starting a fight in a holy temple. Waku gave Kaito a wave back as Aiichi broke the siblings up, and Kokichi headed to the center area where his partners were, and…

Eyeing the collection of wipes and antiseptic and bandages, a few bowls, the cushions on the ground… Kokichi looked up with a smile. “I think it’s all here.”

In a quick moment, he snatched up his partners’ hands, one in each of his, and gave them each a small kiss. “I know I’m more than ready for this. Are you?”

Kaito nodded, eyes light and joyful, as he said, “I want it in the same spot. Or, oh, maybe I should get a matching one on the other side…”

Shuichi frowned at that, before shaking his head. “You don’t need more scars, and I’m saying they’re not cutting you enough to leave one anyway. Just cut the old scar a little, it’s all the same.”

Kaito grinned harder, squeezing Kokichi’s hand and reaching over to grab Shuichi’s, the three of them a small triangle together, as he coo’d at Shuichi, “My husband loooooves meeeee~”

“Pff,” Shuichi tsked, giving Kaito a fond look, “Like that’s ever been in doubt…” before looking to Kokichi, his features softening as he leaned in to give Kokichi a small, gentle kiss on the cheek, “I’m ready too.”

“Okay!” Kaito cheered, squeezing both of their hands before bringing up one arm to kiss a few times, then the other. “Alright! Let’s do this!”

“I hear we’re doing this?” Priest Bullsworth shouted, getting the book ready, Matches holding the bowl and knife beside him, “Alright, everyone settle in! Your graces, go ahead and kneel here, while I read of the Trials and Atua’s love.”

Giving both their hands one more squeeze, Shuichi led the way back. Tucking in his robes and kneeling on the middle pillow, Kaito to his left and Kokichi to his right, Shuichi had to admit the temple was beautiful. The room was filled with a soft golden light, the sun shining in through color-tinted windows, showing Atua’s sigil through the glass pane. Flowers in bloom bordered around them, Priest Bullsworth reciting word for word at some parts, and summarizing in others, the purpose of the trials and why they were proof of Atua’s love. “No one left behind. No one abandoned. No lost causes.” 

As he spoke of the value of love, of how they needed it at every level, deep in their own lives and given to each other, Kaito was taken out of his enthralled listening– Bullsworth was a very good speaker– as Shuichi nudged him lightly, whispering, “Are you going to cry?”

Kaito chuckled lightly, “Shut up, yeah, probably. I bawled during my last one. Though I think our ‘Kichi got spared the worst of me blubbering.” He said, slightly louder, so Kokichi could hear clearly.

Kneeling before Behemoth… It wasn’t like Kokichi had just ignored Angie, when she had read from the Good Book the first time. He’d listened politely, vaguely interested to learn a little more about a religion he knew very little about, at least until Kaito had started talking to him. But this time…

Kokichi still wouldn’t call himself an Atuan, despite the respect he’d gained for the god, and not just because he knew he was claimed by another. It seemed a little ridiculous to him to have to stick with a certain faith just because a god had claimed you--that was their decision, not yours, and people deserved a real choice to have for their faith. But even not being a part of the faith whose words he was listening to…he still felt a swelling in his chest, moved. A god that cared so much about people they refused to let any soul slip through the cracks. That cared enough not just to have a holding station, but to try and make the afterlife good, and fulfilling and cathartic and everything a person would need to finally be able to let go of any regrets they might’ve left life with. A god that wanted to make sure people could be their best selves at least once before the true end. 

It was beautiful… And just like his dedication to seeing everything through with his partners in life, he was ensuring that he could continue to do the same in death. And for that…

“Hm?” Kokichi sniffled, eyes already shiny as he glanced over at his partners. “You did still cry a little… I thought it was sweet.”

Kaito’s face softened into plain adoration as he saw Kokichi’s eyes shimmer, Shuichi laughing lightly as he rubbed Kokichi’s back soothingly. Kaito grinned, looking back to the priest, some of the golden light catching in his eyes as he admitted, “I’ve been looking forward to this my whole life.”

“You’ve done it once already.” Shuichi softly reminded him.

“I know, but…” Kaito glanced over his shoulder. 

Timothy and the girls were trying to be quiet, but the three were excitedly discussing the ceremony, Cali petting Chase, who had decided to plop herself into Cali’s lap now that they weren’t all running around. Timothy idly scratching Chase’s butt, looking relaxed and enjoying himself through the ceremony. Amber and Stacy were giving Drake a slightly surprised look as he whispered to Temp, Temp responding back, the two apparently entirely comfortable talking through a ceremony that the two women had sort of thought they were meant to be silent for. Addason making small, sleeping baby huffs, having been perfectly content to sleep the whole time. Waku was making small chitchat with Denji, who had sat down, not on their knees, just sorta lounging on a pillow as they nodded along with whatever she was saying. In the back, near the doors, Nazumi and Lake were both standing, Nazumi wanting a good scope of the room, just in case, but the two giving Kaito a bright smile when his eyes caught theirs. 

Aiichi and Ikuo were near the front, Miyako fussing with Little Lamb, while the mentors all stood off to the side, likely for the exact same reason Nazumi was standing. Just wanting to watch over everything, ensuring everyone was safe. Nekomaru kept looking around, checking doors and windows diligently, but Kyoko was watching Shuichi intently, eyes light and shimmery. Like she didn’t want to look away for a second. Oliver leaning against her, quiet, present but not intruding on a sight Kyoko likely hadn’t let herself even daydream, ever getting to see herself. 

Maki, kneeling closest to the stairs out of everyone, just shy of Ikuo and Miyako, smiled lightly when Kaito caught her eyes. Calm and fond. Pleased. 

“...I’ve been looking forward to this,” Kaito just said again softly, looking back to them. Grinning shakily, now his own gaze shimmering, thick tears spilling little by little, “My whole life.”

While it had been spiritually binding, respected in the eyes of Atua, and Kokichi knew that their vows had meant the world to each other…calling what they had done before a binding ceremony was like calling the pond outside the castle walls an ocean. They had been confused and isolated, their promises an act of caring defiance towards the stranger they had just met, which was significant, and an act of love for another human…but it wasn’t the declaration of utter devotion this ceremony was supposed to be. It wasn’t a celebration of love, respected and adored by friends and family supporting the happy partners, not the thing that Kokichi knew Kaito had dreamed about growing up. Even if the context was a little different, Kokichi could still relate, and…it hadn’t been the secret wish of a happy marriage he had dared dream of in his most private moments. 

This, now? This, was that. What Kaito had dreamed of and Kokichi hadn’t dared wish for, and what Shuuichi had barely even thought about. Something that, on various levels, they had never thought would be in the cards for them, and yet? Here they were, having carved out their happiness despite everything, having demanded this love and…everyone had come to celebrate. It would be enough, just to find love among the three of them (and Kokichi couldn’t imagine it happening without Maki anyway, so four), but to have gained the love of a community around them…

Kokichi leaned into Shuuichi a bit, his tears spilling down his face. “I always tell you your dreams are so nice…”

“Gonna talk throughout my whole sermon, huh?” Priest Bullworth snorted– Kaito blinked, an almost eerie recollection of Priestess Angie’s giggling, boisterous laughter in his head– before nodding to himself, “Alright,  well let’s let you guys say the most important parts.”

Taking his cue, Match hurried forward, picking up the blade and starting over on Kokichi’s side, as Priest Bullworth said, “We’re gonna go through the requests first, then do the cuts. We know some of us handle that part better than others, so that’ll be quick and to the point. For now, the whole point of this ceremony is to make sure we have their attention, the grand lady or the handsome man or the kindly grandmother, whatever form they offer you for comfort: Atua is listening. They’re taking heed. It matters what you want out of your eternity, and if they can do it? I know they will. Kaito Momota?”

Kaito was a little startled to not hear his title used for a ceremony, but decided not to worry about it too much, as he looked up at Priest Bullsworth. “Yes?”

“Your relationship with our faith is complicated, I know that,” The priest said, having no idea how right he was, “But you’re a true believer if nothing else. He’s listening. What would you ask of him?”

“I would ask–”

“ASK FOR SHUICHI’S ENDLESS PATIENCE, YOUR GRACE!” Nekomaru called out, “ATUA KNOWS HE’S GONNA NEED IT! Oof!”

“Hush, I want to hear this.” Kyoko hushed him, elbowing Nekomaru in the ribs while Oliver giggled on her arm.

“This marriage thing is for making wishes?” Kimiko gasped, looking overjoyed, before calling out, “Wish for a new puppy Mister Kaito!”

“Not that kind of wish.” Timothy whispered to her, “And shush, my dad, like, really likes this sorta stuff, don’t interrupt.” 

“Sorry!” Kimiko false-whispered loudly.

Kaito couldn’t help the grin on his face. In Luminary, true respect was silence… but he didn’t necessarily want respect in a ceremony like this. It was nice, in a way, even if Nekomaru’s heckling had been a dig against him. Shuichi, Maki, either way, Mr. Nidai would have made that same comment. 

But Shuichi’s mildly withering look over his shoulder at the older man– who laughed boisterously at it before going ‘oof’ again, Kyoko elbowing him again– felt even better, as Kaito admitted softly, “I want Shuichi to escort me through my trials, because I don’t know if I could do it without him.”

“He’s so smart. And dedicated. He’s been looking out for me my whole life, and honestly I don’t think I can ever repay him for everything he’s given me. I’ve tried to. I’d bury Shuichi in luxury and wealth, if I could, but I’d do so knowing it still wouldn’t pay back everything he gave me. And he gave it to me freely, too. More love than I knew what to do with. My Shuichi was smart and brave and generous and after I wormed my way into his life, he gave me all those beautiful aspects of him freely. And I can never pay it back.”

“But through his trials, I want to try.” Kaito said, “And through his life, I want to try. To give back everything he’s ever given me. I want a thousand chances, and I want to put all of myself into all of them. Because that’s what my Shuichi deserves. So that’s what I ask of Atua. To give me a lifetime, and more, to give Shuichi what he deserves. I swear it.”

“Oh, oh, um, do we clap?” Amber whispered to the people around her, as Kaito seemed finished, “Is this a clapping moment.”

“You can if you like, from what I know about these things anyway.” Temp shrugged, before calling out, “Well said Kaito!”

“Not bad.” Oliver whispered to Kyoko, who nodded back. A good vow. She wasn’t displeased by it.

Shuichi, in turn, smiled warmly. Reaching over to place a hand on Kaito’s knee and squeezing it reassuringly. 

“Atua hears you, Kaito, and if it’s opportunity to be your best self for your partner here? I’m sure he’s pleased.” Priest Bullsworth nodded, before looking to Kokichi, “Kokichi Ouma. I don’t believe you’re a member of the faith, but one aspect of this religion I’ve always appreciated is that it doesn’t require you to be. Atua does not demand worship. They pursue happiness. And others joys pleases them. Atua listens, hoping to give you what would make you happy. What would you request of them?” 

Maybe just as it was acceptable for the bonded to chat through the sermon, it was tradition for the priestess or priest to call them out on it too. It was no disrespect to Behemoth, or the words in the Good Book, but of today of all days, Kokichi didn’t think there was anything that would distract him from his partners. 

Kokichi tittered softly as their family and friends hollered in--something that he vaguely remembered Kaito mentioning off-hand, once, when he had talked of his dreams about his binding ceremony--but as Kaito got going, his expression softened. It was nothing surprising, or even overly grand, but…that was just Kaito, wasn’t it? It didn’t feel like a huge peak of sentiment, because Kaito regularly said those kinds of things about Shuuichi. This request for Atua was special, and important, yes, but…with a partner, so was every day, and Kaito never let one of his dearest friends ever settle into thoughts of mediocrity. 

This wasn’t one-up-manship, or trying to top everything Kaito had ever done before. This was just another line in his constant stream of love. Kaito’s reliable love for Shuuichi--something that they wanted to continue into their afterlives. 

And Kokichi…

Taking a small breath, Kokichi looked over at Shuuichi, a grin splitting over his face. “I want the time we’re owed. Not because I really believe in retribution or karma or fate, but…because it’s what we want, and the greatest gift we have is our ability to choose. I want every second of time with Shuu-chan we’re owed, and nothing will stop me from taking it.”

“...for a long time, I firmly believed that there was no afterlife. That our time alive was all we got, and so we should cherish every second. But…” Kokichi huffed a small laugh, gently bumping his shoulder to Shuuichi’s. “But…being fleeting isn’t what makes something special. And whether we only have a minute more together, or an eternity, I’d cherish every moment, and choose you every time. But, yanno, I do like you a lot, so I’m gonna demand our eternity. I’m gonna be here while you go back to school, and start a business, and become the greatest detective the world’s ever seen; while we raise our daughter and grow our family; through every 3AM realization that you’re off devouring books to learn everything there is about a niche new hobby; and whatever waits for us after… I want to be around for every moment.”

And…Kokichi didn’t feel a need to censor himself too much, in front of everyone. Everything he’d said was more or less what and how he wanted to say it. But there was something that…might not go over as well, so…

{To me…this feels more like a warning, than a request to Atua, and whatever other gods have decided they want to meddle in our lives. But all the same…I’d stand up to every single one to ensure we get our time. And that’s a Kokichi promise.}

Not an Ouma one, because while he put a lot of value in his name…Kokichi was making it as him. And no one could take that away.

Only Priest Bullsworth had the vantage point to really see the slight shifts in expression, and he had no real context for it. Both Shuichi and Kaito had been watching Kokichi, for the most part, Kaito glancing back into the crowd curiously a few times– Diceans didn’t believe in respect in the same way Luminaries did, but he did notice that people went quiet, when Kokichi talked, and he liked to watch it– Shuichi looking warmed and pleased, Kaito grinning and excited…

And then, for no reason the priest could tell, they both looked mildly surprised by Kokichi’s words. Even if he hadn’t said anything particularly shocking… before Shuichi smirked lightly. Something mildly smug in his expression, as he leaned over to place a small kiss against Kokichi’s cheek, clearly pleased. While Kaito bit his lower lip and fidgeted with his hands a little, something mildly alarmed in his expression… but also beat red. Like he was incredibly flustered by Kokichi’s dedication. 

Wanting time with your partners didn’t seem that revolutionary to Priest Bullsworth– that was basically what this whole ceremony was about, after all– but, well, he could only assume there was something about that speech he didn’t know enough about Prince Kokichi to catch. Ah well, they seemed happy, that’s all ya really needed for these things.

Amber and Stacy, taking Temp’s cue from earlier, both decided to be supportive by clapping, Amber shouting, “Nice!” once Kokichi seemed to be done, while Cali shouted out, “Ask for endless sweets too, this is your chance Kokichi!” before whining as Timothy hushed her.

Kyoko, in turn, looked much more pleased this time, smirking lightly. Good. She approved. Her charge deserved partners who’d support him one hundred percent, in his pursuits. It was what she wanted most, for her child, something she had tried to give him when the whole of the world seemed determined to keep it from him: his own autonomy. To have all the skills and resources he could possibly need, and the freedom to choose to use them however he liked, with no one holding him back.

Shuichi Saihara would not live in service to anyone else. Kyoko Kirigiri could not have asked for more.

“Your partners seem pleased with your vows, Kokichi Ouma, and in their joy, Atua is pleased too. I am sure they will give you what you ask.” Priest Bullsworth nodded.

“Or else.” Shuichi smirked quietly, while Kaito fretted slightly beside him, clearly conflicted with that train of thought, even if in terms of Kaito’s values it was very sexy.

“Shuichi Saihara? Two men, either side of you, have knelt here today and are asking our god in the most serious ritual we have, for the opportunity to be with you forever, and to give all of themselves to you.” Priest Bullsworth said, looking to Shuichi, “What would you ask?”

Shuichi, had been picking up on the small clues in the priests speech, and mildly amused with the Dicean practice for Atuans, deciding to lean into it, said very specifically, “What would I ask of her…” 

Shuichi smirked a little. Self-assured and happy, as he said simply, “I’d ask of Atua, that they get everything they’re asking for.”

Maki huffed a small little laugh to herself. Shaking her head slightly at her brother. He really could be such an asshole, sometimes.

But Shuichi continued calmly, “I’d want to escort Kaito through his trials, and him through mine, and I’d want to watch him love and adore and fawn over me, somehow thinking all he does for me could possibly not be enough, when he’s always been one of the best parts of my day, every day, since the day he barrelled his way into my life. I don’t know how he could possibly think he’s not enough, when he’s more than I could have ever hoped for, but, well… I do love how he fawns. So I’m happy to let him keep trying to prove himself.”

“And I agree: I deserve an eternity with Kokichi. I want to be selfish with my time, and I want that time to be filled loving him. I also want to work on my career and indulge my hobbies and raise my children and do all of those things, but loving Kokichi, filling my time with him? That’s a priority. It’s what we deserve. The time to indulge each other. And I’ll fight any system or person or god that would dare demand we do anything else. We’ve made our choices. We chose each other.”

“Outside of that?” Shuichi shrugged, warm and happy as he smiled, “I just want my partners’ happiness. If Atua can provide that, I’ll be pleased. If not? I’ll do it myself.”

Priest Bullsworth snorted a bit at that, “You know what? It’s a good desire to have. Atua doesn’t interfere in life, our happiness is our own responsibility, on this side of the veil. And on the other, we are simply given more opportunity to seize happiness for ourselves and others. Our happiness is always our own choice, in its pursuit or otherwise. So, if your most selfish desire is the happiness of your partners? If that’s what you ask for? Atua be pleased.”

“Atua be pleased!” Cali and Kimiko, remembering their instructions, shouted back.

“Oh, uh, Atua be pleased?” Amber said, looking around her for clues if that was correct, Stacy shrugging when Amber caught her eyes, echoing it slightly more delayed.

“Atua be pleased.” Kaito echoed happily.

Shuichi smiled. Maki just nodded.

“Good job.” Kyoko whispered. “Well done.”

Priest Bullsworth nodded, before looking meaningfully at Match, who gestured to Kokichi, “May I see your hand, prince Kokichi?” He whispered.

Kokichi smiled into the kiss, and shot Kaito a soft look at his fidgeting. The reason why he’d told them privately was because, even in a day about them, he could see how in bad taste it would be to declare to a room of Atuans that he’d fight their god if it came down to a true clash of differing paths. And he still knew it wasn’t the easiest thing to declare to Kaito for the same reason…but Kokichi meant it. Given all he knew about Atua, he didn’t think they would impede their happiness together--and, hell, after everything, she might even help them out against other gods, since it seemed like he’d done it before--but…Kokichi wasn’t betting on that fact. He wasn’t relying on gods to solve his problems, in a true Ouma fashion. 

They could help him out, they could stand to the side, but if they got in his way, Kokichi would fight his way through, and that was that. 

And even if it made one nervous, and even if the other didn’t always take him seriously…Kokichi felt like he could really do it, knowing his partners were behind him. 

It seemed like that feeling was mutual, too. 

Sniffling, Kokichi pressed against Shuuichi’s side as he spoke. That despondent, gloomy man who said he couldn’t do anything against the whims of the world seemed far and away right now. Kokichi loved him too--every side of Shuuichi was one Kokichi wanted to share his love with--but…the happiness and pride coming off his husband was something Kokichi really did love to see. 

“Atua be pleased,” Kokichi said with a grin, before taking a steadying breath and offering his hand and a smile to Matches. “Hope it’s not too awkward, but, uh…I’m just gonna look away for this part.”

Match nodded, opening up the container that contained Nini’s blood, putting it down in front of them before taking Kokichi’s hand. Since there was no mark to base it on and no specific part had been request, Match upturned Kokichi’s hand and, with a small warning letting Kokichi know it was coming, placing a small cut on the center of his palm. “Alright, and, we’re going to squeeze…” he whispered, turning Kokichi’s palm over and squeezing his hand a little, until after a moment a few drops fell into the container.

As Match moved on, wiping the blood clean from the blade, Behemoth followed up behind him, kneeling down and wiping Kokichi’s hand up, wiping it with an antibacterial wipe and placing a small bandage on it. “There you go, quick and easy. Feeling queasy?” he asked, giving Kokichi an appraising look.

Beside them, Shuichi whispered to Match as he went to prick his palm as well, “Kaito might ask for something extra, like a really deep cut or something. Don’t.”

Match raised an eyebrow, before nodding, “Of course.” Wiping the blood before moving onto Kaito, who gave him a sheepish grin, having heard Shuichi. 

“Uh, I guess if you could just cut against this scar here? This is the one I got for Kokichi and I’s bonding ceremony. See?” Kaito showed him, something proud in his gaze as he showed the line near his wrist. “Neat, right?”

Match nodded, “It is.”

Placing the blade down, putting it at a small angle, Match sliced down. Kaito wincing as the cut made a small, thin x through the original line, before Match whistled low, “Oops. My bad. Tooootally didn’t mean to cut that deep. That’s probably gonna scar. My mistake.”

Shuichi glared at Match, frowning… but sighed in defeat at the sheer look of wonder in Kaito’s eyes, already looking over the new wound with new affection. Fine, well, so long as the wound was dressed. 

As Match cleaned up Kaito’s wound, he passed the bowl to Priest Bullsworth first, who mixed the blood before, in quick succession, he dipped his thumb into the bowl, before pressing it against all of their foreheads. “Your requests have been heard. The Atua religion recognizes you all as bonded. Atua be pleased.”

And with more of the non-atuans a little more familiar with the practice now, there was more sure echoes of ‘Atua be pleased’, as well as cheers and enthusiastic clapping. “Good job, baby!” “HEY, THERE WE GO, THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!” “Us next, us next!” “Cali, give them a minute!”

Turning his gaze towards his partners, Kokichi did his best to relax and…not think too much. There wasn’t the outright denial that had gotten him through the first bonding ceremony, but Kokichi just tried not to let the thoughts linger about how there was a container with Nini’s blood his hand was over, and--

Despite trying very hard not to flinch, there was still a small jerk through his arm and Kokichi gasped softly as the center of his palm was cut into, but…that was it, really. It was done in a matter of seconds, and Kokichi’s smile when he regarded Behemoth was genuine. “I’m okay, thank you.”

…the center of his hand wasn’t the easiest cut to take care of, but he’d manage. And he knew the bandage was something that Kaito, at least, would appreciate feeling for the next day. 

And speaking of Kaito… Kokichi sighed softly as he overheard how his cut went. But…of all the scars Kaito could get, Kokichi didn’t mind this one as much, and he knew how much it meant to his husband. 

Just like before, it was barely any time, a dip, dip, dip, announcement and…

Kokichi giggled brightly, leaning over to kiss Shuuichi’s cheek. “I love you, Shuu-chan. Forever and ever.”

“I know,” Shuichi said, leaning into the kiss, eyes twinkling while behind him Kaito found himself touching the small spot just around the blood press. A thoughtful, pleased look on Kaito’s face, which deepened as he looked over to his partners being cute, Shuichi wrapping his arms around Kokichi’s waist, leaning in and inviting another kiss, “I love you too.”

Once again, Kaito couldn’t feel his soul pulling away. Nothing filling him. Nothing supernatural, to suggest that the ritual had done anything in a physical way… but Kaito was less worried and disappointed by that, this time. Maybe that was one aspect of the Atuan religion that wasn’t true. Kaito, now seeing how physical the concept of souls could actually be, doubted that Atua would twist and morph it upon request. That would be, like, creating new shards, new amalgamations, changing people at a fundamental level. Kaito doubted Atua would do that for a simple request to stay together.

So, of the beliefs he grew up with, Kaito let that particular one go. That hadn’t been true, he was confident now. Taking the handtowel Behemoth passed him, Kaito quickly wiped the blood off his forehead, before folding it and scooting over to his partners, “Come here, let me clean you two up. You guys did such a good job…” Kaito grinned, leaning in close as he wiped at their foreheads, “Fuck you both are so damn attractive right now.”

Shuichi smirked, rewarding Kaito with a small kiss as he finished wiping him off, “Keep it together for a little while longer, Kaito. We gotta go mingle with the family for a while still.”

“Fuck, I love you both so much…” Kaito sighed, leaning in close, “I just want you both to myself for a while.”

“Later. You can show us how much you love us, all you want, later.” Shuichi promised, running his fingers down Kaito’s face, brushing the edge of his jaw and smiling lightly at the shiver that touch elicited, “Patience.”

Kokichi rolled his eyes a little as Kaito wiped his forehead off, but gave him a wink and a fond look all the same. “Later,” he agreed with Shuuichi. “Even if she’s gonna be really offended, my dad and siblings said they could help take care of Mi-Mi more today and tomorrow, so we’ll get to have plenty of time together.”

“But, for now, I know I’d kick myself to miss out on this.” Rising from the cushions, Kokichi turned to beam at all their guests, laughing a bit at the cheering section that came from Amber and Stacy’s side of the temple. He did want to make the rounds, but stop one was pretty obvious.

“Aw, dad, c’mon…” Kokichi laughed softly as he caught the glimmers in Ikuo’s eyes, giving the man a pat on the arm as he passed Miyako over, and Kokichi easily leaned into the hug Ikuo offered. 

“M seein’ ya get married; can be as ‘motional as I want.”

Kaito snickered as he followed Kokichi’s path, flushing a little as he said, “Aw, cute– ow! I didn’t do anything!” He whined, as Maki gave him a firm pinch on his arm, “Saying he’s cute is not doing anything!”

“Uh huh,” Maki said dryly, picking up Kaito’s wrist and looking at the tight wrap around his wrist and around his palm, “Going to leave a mark?”

“Mmmhm!” He grinned, nodding proudly, “It’s gonna look like a thin x. Cool, right? One for each of them!”

“Hmm.” Maki hummed, running her thumb lightly over the bandage. Her gaze thoughtful… before she nodded, letting his hand go, “It’s cool. Shuichi seemed less than pleased.”

Kaito chuckled sheepishly at that, shrugging, “He was just looking out for me. But, I’m kinda glad Match’s slipped. I like the marks.”

Kyoko had come up to Shuichi, immediately fussing with his outfit. Straightening his robes and smoothing out the sides, reaching up to smooth out his hair, as she asked, “You’re happy?”

“Yes, Miss Kirigiri.” Shuichi said softly, “Very.”

“Good.” She said, straightening out his sleeves, sighing softly as she realized how long they really were, “Strange clothes.”

“Dicean. Or, to an extent, as I understand it.” He said, his own cool gaze following hers, “...I like it here. I like their customs and their fashions and their weather. I’m happy to be here…” he stared at her for a moment, before saying softly, “You could stay, if you wanted. Luminary owes you nothing.”

“Incorrect.” Kyoko said, dropping her hands, lifting her head and strengthening her shoulders, “Luminary owes me quite a bit. And I intend to go collect. The desert is my home, Shuichi.” Reaching up, Kyoko placed her hands against each side of his face. Staring up at him, “...it will always be yours as well. Regardless of vows or bondings or contracts, if you ever desire to return home…”

“I won’t.” Shuichi said, stern… before he closed his eyes. Leaning his head into her hands for a moment. “But thank you for saying so.”

“I am very proud of you.” She whispered.

“Thank you.”

Timothy and the girls were currently trying to negotiate with Match’s and Behemoth for a quick bonding ceremony for them, and if not, could  they just, uh, borrow??? The knife and bowl for a moment??? The two priests now keeping a wary eye on the kids as they went to go clean up their supplies. Maki, seeing the issue, went to go put the Fear Of Maki in them, as Kaito headed over to the friend group, making small coo’ing sounds to the sleeping Addason before quickly turning to Waku, “Waku! Wanna see my scar!? I could undo the bandage real quick if you wanna take a peek!”

“Ew, gross, don’t.” Stacy giggled, shaking her head, though she genuinely looked a little grossed out, “Like, seriously.”

“You can share it with me once it actually scars over,” Waku offered. “I think exposing a new wound to the air longer than it needs to might put the most minor damper on your special day, and by that I mean your husbands would verbally kick your ass until you re-bandaged it. Congratulations, Kaito.”

Drake let out a small, almost uncertain laugh to Waku’s prediction of what would happen--it did seem very likely--before turning to Kaito in earnest, giving him a nod. “Congratulations! All your requests were so sweet; really like a picture of true love. I know that this isn’t really a tipping point of feelings or anything, but…feel any different? Excited to call both Shuuichi and Kokichi your bonded?”

“Feel relieved,” Kaito said honestly, adjusting the cape around his shoulders a little, now a little glad he had gotten the chest coverings back on. He really didn’t mind being shirtless around people, didn’t think about it much when he did it, but doing it at a ceremony would have felt weird. Even now distinctly aware of how much less he was wearing. “I wasn’t kidding in my vow, Shuichi’s going to kickass at the trials. I’m really lucky to get two smart as hell partners to go through it with. I’ll just lift heavy things and tackle stuff if things need tackling, they’re both gonna be awesome and wise and ready to learn, like, all the lessons. I’m grateful to get to go with them.”

“Though not considering the afterlife?” Kaito said, acknowledging that for most of the people here, a bonding ceremony was more symbolic than practical, “It’s just nice being able to show Shuichi off to people. Like, look!” Kaito said, pointing to his partners on the other side of the room, lighting up with a grin, “Look at them! Look at how lucky I got! They’re perfect. It just makes me really proud to get to claim them, ya know?”

“This has been a long time coming for you guys,” Waku nodded, “Even if Shuuichi only proposed two months ago. You’ve all been committed in all but ceremony for ages--makes sense to feel good that you’re finally crossing that final “t”.”

Drake sighed softly, looking over at Shuuichi and Kokichi across the hall. “I’m really happy for you guys. I think the only other time that can compete with how happy Shuuichi looks right now was the first time he started bragging about Miyako to me… That’s a pretty good bar to match.”

Kaito chuckled, nodding knowingly, “Shuichi’s convinced our Miyako’s a prodigy already. That poor girl’s got so much to live up too. Thankfully, he’s probably right, so it should all work out for everyone.” 

“Said like an entirely unbiased proud papa.” Amber grinned, patting Kaito on the shoulder, “Super nice ceremony, I’m so glad we got to come to this! Thanks for inviting us… okay! I gotta go shower baby with praise and kisses now! And see baby’s baby wearing her little ankle bracelet! Come on, Stac!”

“You guys did soooo good, it was so sweet!” Stacy congratulated, reaching up to give Kaito a hug, who returned it, before following Amber towards Kokichi. 

“Honestly? I’ve been basically begging my poor Shuichi to date me since we were thirteen.” Kaito grinned, “So, when you guys say it seems like it’s about time? You have no idea. If kid me had any idea this day was coming? I’d have been riding high my entire teenage years, just bragging about them the whole time.”

“Baaaaaaabyyyyyyy!” Amber squealed, though not that loudly as she approached Kokichi, Ikuo and Miyako, reaching over to wrap her arms around Kokichi’s waist, giving him a squeeze, “You look so goooood! And that ceremony was so cooooool! You’re, like, bonded! Or whatever! Married? Sorta?”

“I mean, you, like, still have the marriage party tomorrow, but for Luminaries, this is basically married, right?” Stacy asked, giving Ikuo a nod, “Congratulations~ Your hand alright?”

More than Kaito knew. And, honestly, more than Drake knew too, but while the expectations would be high, he knew her support would be several times higher. And while this wasn’t exactly a turning point for the family, deepening their bond in this official way would just be better for every member. 

“Shuuichi probably would’ve made you work for it more, if you’d been bragging about it the whole time,” Waku snickered. “Knowing that he’d get to marry you too? His security would rocket his smugness to the moon. But it is nice getting to have this good life surprises, huh?”

Laughing brightly and leaning into her hug, Kokichi grinned as his friends came up. “Thank you! And…yeah, pretty much. Kai-chan told me before this is like the Big Thing, and weddings are kinda just fun dressing. We still gotta file the paperwork and everything, but I’m kinda using it for my own purposes and just callin’ Shuu-chan my husband already. I can’t wait another moment!” he sniffed dramatically.

Holding Miyako higher up on his chest, Kokichi held his hand out, showing the bandage. “Yeah, I’m all good. I think I probably should’ve specified a place, but, yanno, I don’t mind it. We’re bonded, my husbands are happy…it’s a good day.”

“IT WAS A GREAT CEREMONY, YOUR GRACE! TOP NOTCH, JUST AS GOOD AS ANY BONDING CEREMONIES WE’D HOST AT LUMINARY!” Nekomaru praised, the mentors coming back with Shuichi, the three done congratulating him and giving him small reassurances and small advise. Shuichi, for once, practically glowing at their attention, rather then unnerved or insecure about it. 

Kyoko bowed towards Kokichi, saying primly, “I was quite pleased with your vow, your grace. I trust that my Shuichi is in good hands, for his bonding mate to acknowledge the time and support he deserves. Well said. You have raised a charge who speaks well.” She said, that last part towards Ikuo.

“Ah, that bit ain’t leaves from my tree,” Ikuo nodded, acknowledging the compliment nonetheless, “But I’ll take what credit’s due. Grand ol’ speeches more came from those two, if not jus’ Kich’ ‘imself.” ‘Those two’, meaning Aiichi and Hideki, naturally, who, while wanting to congratulate the happy family, were a little occupied passing Denji tissue after tissue, as the stylist’s tear ducts seemed to be trying to turn the temple into a swimming pool.

Chuckling softly, cheeks flushing, Kokichi gave Kyouko a grin and a bow back. “Thank you, Miss Kirigiri--I’m glad I was able to convey my feelings well. There’s a whole lot I feel for Shuu-chan, but sometimes it feels like words just aren’t enough. Think I got pretty close today, though.”

“Well, I liked it plenty.” Shuichi smiled softly… before smirking a bit, as he said pointedly, “And that’s a bit what matters, really.”

“Don’t get cocky on me.” Maki said, coming up from behind and wrapping her arm around Shuichi’s shoulders, pulling him aside, “Come on, I need you.”

“Hm? What for?” Shuichi asked, giving her a curious look as she pulled him away.

“Kids want to ask a thousand questions about what the ceremony was. I’m tired of answering. You’re going to back me up.” She explained, heading to Timothy and the girls, who were barely holding back from harassing the priests some more.

Kaito was chuckling at a joke Waku made, before gasping in delight as he heard a little baby gasp. Peering over to Addason, he whispered, “Ooooh, did my god son finally want to join in the festivities? Hey there, champion, how are you doing? Awwww, oh nooooo, already?” 

Temp laughed as Addason took one look around the strange temple… before his little face scrunched up, entirely displeased with the strange environment. His large blue eyes watering in protest as he started to whine. “I’ll probably take him home in a moment. But that was a great ceremony, Kaito. I’m happy for you three, I know it was a trial by itself just to get to this point.”

“Yeah, but more than worth it.” Kaito said softly, reaching over to rub little circles into Addason’s stomach. This soothed the baby a little– belly rubs were Kaito’s specialty– but it was only a temporary reprieve, “Well, that’s alright. Thanks for coming, Temp. It was great to have so much family here.”

Temp startled at that a little, surprised to be so directly called that… before he smiled lightly. “I haven’t been able to go to a family event since my grandfather died. So, this was pretty awesome. Thanks for inviting me. Let me go congratulate Kokichi and Shuichi both real quick, and then I’ll head off.”

Kaito nodded, waving him off as Temp headed towards Kokichi… before he turned to Waku and Drake, “Okay, be honest with me: the outfit. Too much? If it is, don’t say it too loudly, Denji might actually murder me for daring to ask anyone else’s opinion on it. I mean…” he peeked over in their direction, “the second they stop sobbing, anyway. Awww, cute.” 

“I’m about it,” Waku gave Kaito a thumbs up, before smirking. “You do look like you’re gonna freeze your nips off at the slightest breeze, but you’re gonna look great while it happens. And I wouldn’t hold your breath to get a word in with Den any time soon--I think they were crying for a solid hour at your and Kokichi’s wedding last year.”

Drake looked over skeptically. Sure, they couldn’t deny the gross sobs coming from the blonde, but…they’d been kind of intimidated by Denji when they met at the princes’ anniversary party. Just showed that even low-key terrifying people had their soft spots. 

“I think you’re outfit is really cool, Kaito,” Drake nodded, though something indistinguishable crossed over his face. “Uh…like, it is on its own, and I don’t mean anything by this but…were you inspired by anything for it, or…?”

The style was before Drake’s time, so it wasn’t exactly the rush of nostalgia he’d felt seeing the saris at the pop-up market. But he had been educated on the history of his people, and Drake definitely recognized the style Kaito had chosen to wear, even if it was the first time he’d ever seen someone actually wearing it in the flesh. Given Luminary’s relationship with its history, it was…certainly something, if Kaito had done this purposefully.

Kaito gave Drake a slightly curious look at that… before he lit up. Reaching over and grasping Drake’s hands, bringing them up to their chests and clutching them tight as he said, eyes alight with wonder, “Oh, right! How’d I do!? Does it look right!? We saw it in a book! A really, like, really old merchant trading log thing Denji has? Apparently we used to commission outfits like this with Dicean fabric merchants? Or, something, I don’t know the details, I literally read this, like, the day before yesterday.” Kaito admitted sheepishly, before letting Drake’s hands go and turning this way and that, showing off the outfit more. “Like, tribe leaders used to wear stuff like this for their ceremonies, I think? I don’t really know… it could be all wrong.” Kaito admitted, his face reddening slightly in embarrassment, shrugging as he rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s supposed to be really old fashioned Luminary fashion… I dunno. I thought it was neat… did we at least get close?” he asked Drake.

While Kaito blatantly forgot that he really shouldn’t be talking that directly to Drake like that about that sort of thought process– not saying anything explicitly, but definitely not thinking too hard about his words, admittedly– Temp went over to Kokichi, bouncing a weepy Addason in his arms, “Hello, Kokichi. I wanted to wish you a congratulations, though I can’t stay much longer. Addie woke up, and is displeased, as you can see.”

{Weird food smell!} Miyako greeted, sucking contently on her pacifier in Kokichi’s arms, Little Lamb clutched to her chest, {Come near! Let me lick!}

“Weeeeeeeeeeh–hic-hic-hic.” Addason started whining harder. Looking extremely disgruntled with the idea of being licked. 

Drake sputtered slightly, jarred from…everything, really. Being grabbed suddenly, the overwhelming heat of Kaito that normal people with functioning circulatory systems often found quite warm, being taken to be an authority of something that, reasonably, he should have no knowledge of… He could feel Waku’s curious, questioning gaze bore into his side, and it took everything Drake had not to nervously glance at her. 

“I-I mean, it definitely is historical Luminous fashion! I did, you see, recognize it as that, but it’d be embarrassing if you got inspiration from something else, and…” Drake huffed softly, his shrug a little twitchy. “I’ve only seen pictures too…but it looks right to me. It…it’s great, Kaito. I think it’s a really nice way to pay homage to your ancestors, while embracing something new, you know?”

There would certainly be a hailstorm of questions coming Drake’s way from that exchange, but on the other side of the temple, Kokichi was more than distracted from the nervous spike, too busy giving Addason a soft coo. 

“Thanks, Temp. I’m glad you two could make it--and Addie could tolerate it this long,” Kokichi softly laughed. “It means a lot to us that you’re here, you know? Every bit of family makes today brighter.”

Rubbing Miyako’s back, Kokichi shook his head fondly, giving Addason a soft, happy feeling to contrast with his daughter’s demands. {Thank you for being here, Addie~ Have a nice afternoon with your dad, no licking involved.}

Addason wasn’t entirely convinced– Miyako seemed pretty determined to taste the weird smell– but he did calm down a little, tears abated for a little while longer as Temp gave Kokichi another fond congratulations, heading to Shuichi. 

“So, could we wish for, like… a river of chocolate?” Cali asked.

“Yes.” Shuichi smirked.

Cali gasped dramatically, and even Tim looked impressed, saying somewhat skeptically, “Really?”

“You can wish for anything you want. You probably won’t get a river of chocolate though.” Shuichi explained, to the immediate disappointment of the children, “Or, if you got it, it’d be some weird metaphorical lesson about greed or tooth decay or something.”

“What about getting a demon familiar?” Kimiko tried. “Can I wish for that?”

“Through a bonding ceremony?” Temp clarified, Maki and Shuichi nodding with some amusement at him, “It’s really just mostly meant to be asking ‘let me stay with this person when we die’. There’s not much more to it than that.”

“But Mister Kaito and Mister Kokichi and Mister Shuichi all spoke for a reeeeaaaallllyyy long time!” Kimiko pointed out. 

“They just wished for that, but in really long winded ways.” Maki explained, “Though, go right ahead, add in a river of chocolate with it. Won’t get it if you don’t try.”

“Demon familiar! Demon pet!”

“I really feel something like a lizard would quell your desire for weird pets, Kimiko.” Shuichi pointed out.

As Temp, Maki and Shuichi negotiated with the kids, Kaito, realizing he was missing his husband, had started wandering back to him, Waku and Drake trailing behind– he had wanted to ask Drake a thousand more things, but it occurred to him finally Drake couldn’t answer him entirely directly– before glancing over at Aiichi and Hideki… “Alright, I should do that real quick. Excuse me, guys.” Kaito said, nodding to his friends, “I’ll be back. Go congratulate Kokichi! Doesn’t he look great!? Tell him how great he looks! Be right back.”

Steeling himself, he headed to the king, head secretary, and Denji, throwing a grin onto his face as they noticed his approach, “Denji! The outfits really held up! Thank you so much again for the extra work you put into mine, they basically remade my whole outfit at the last minute.” Kaito said, as an explanation to Aiichi and Hideki, “Isn’t that incredibly impressive? They’re a master at their craft, you’re incredibly lucky to have them.”

While they did look up at Kaito’s approach, Waku was right in saying that Kaito probably wouldn’t get much out of Denji for a bit. Even trying to answer, all that came out of the stylist’s mouth was incomprehensible blubbering, something that was probably a ‘well, of course it held up!’ but…no one could really say for sure. 

“We really are,” Aiichi agreed, one hand still on Denji’s back. “I told Ko and Shuuichi earlier, but…really. You three look stunning. Though it’s no surprise that our Denji can bring out people’s happiness to their full potential with their clothes.”

With a softer look, Aiichi gave Kaito a nod. “Your requests were lovely as well. There’s no question to your devotion, but hearing you three dedicate your love… It’s well said, in any case. As Shuuichi said, I have no doubt you’ll be able to reach your happiness together.”

“Congratulations,” Hideki said simply after Aiichi, passing another wad of tissues to Denji. “Kokichi talks as if you three have been married for ages already, but...it’s good to make it official. You look happy.”

“Our Kokichi’s kind of a sentimental guy.” Kaito grinned, though he chuckled a little, something sympathetic running through him at the sight of Denji’s tears up close, “It’s a sweet trait. I’ve been very lucky that he loves so strongly, so fast. Shuichi and I have really benefited from Kokichi’s kind nature.”

Kaito grinned, trying to find something else to say. Come on, come on, you need to make the effort man! “Thank you both for coming, by the way! Your grace, I think you and I are the only ones who went to both the last one and this one in its entirety.” Kaito grinned, giving Aiichi a knowing look, “I’m sure the last time didn’t leave you with the best impression of these things. I think this one went a lot better! Most Atuan rituals really are more like this than what we did last time, I hope you enjoyed attending.”

“That he is,” Hideki laughed softly, before he sighed, crouching slightly to help Denji stem the tide himself. 

Aiichi, though, returned that knowing look. “I am happy to have been invited, and while the last ceremony was…thought provoking, between you and me I did enjoy this one a lot more. And it seems everyone else has too.”

Gently, moving slow enough to give Kaito time to step back or brace himself, Aiichi pulled the young man into a side hug, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “Congratulations, Kaito. We’ll keep an eye on Denji, so you can feel free to go to your husbands. Even with eternity, I have a hunch you’re eager to be together now.”

Kaito did, admittedly, briefly tense. His shoulders hardening slightly as his eyes dipped down as Aiichi reached around and squeezed. But he let the tension go halfway through, making a specific effort to lean into the hug, showing willingness.

His stomach lowered slightly, at the dismissal. He could guess why though. Aiichi likely could sense his discomfort and wanted to give him an easy out. Fair… he really was so much like his son. Or his son was like him, Kaito supposed. 

Kaito considered insisting on staying. Trying to talk to him more. To make a connection. 

He thought about asking Aiichi if he ever talked about bonding ceremonies with his parents. If his father had ever been truly Atuan, or explained that side of himself to the dicean heir. He vaguely wanted to ask him if at any point his parents had asked Aiichi himself, how the last one had went. Was there a letter Kaito hadn’t gotten his hands on, through the batch of business negotiations he read through? Anything? Did the king know anything at all?

That feeling came and went, Kaito letting it go like oil through his fingers. His parents hadn’t been thinking about him like that, and Kaito was trying to accept that and stop obsessing over it. Hell, if they were alive right now, Kaito would likely be disowning them too. They were his family's enemies.

He wanted to ask Aiichi if the last bonding ceremony had been as frightening to him, as it had been to Kaito. He was the only other person around who had seen Koh’s passing. The only other person Kaito knew who had even seen his guiding animal. There was a part of him that wanted to commiserate, now that the bonding ceremony had been, in a way, replaced. That had been wild, hadn’t it? Hadn’t that been terrifying? Hadn’t they made it awful? Tengan and Chisa and, yeah, General Juzo. Kaito had hated it. Kaito had hated it. He was so glad that wasn’t his only bonding ceremony anymore. What had Aiichi thought was happening? Had he realized how wrong it all was? Had he thought Luminaries ceremonies were just… like that? Dark and depressing and isolated and scary?

Wasn’t this better? Look at the temple, it was golden! The sun shining in through the windows, the pillows soft and embroidered, they weren’t just kneeling on the cement! Nothing had died screaming, no one was sitting in uncomfortable silence, Kaito wasn’t left sobbing alone. His partners were there and happy! There was laughter and smiles! 

Did Luminaries still look as awful and barbaric now, as Kaito had sometimes felt like he was constantly showing them only the worst sides of himself. Of his people? Was this better?

Did you see this side of us in Leon?

A part of him wanted to say all of this to the only other person in this place who would have any idea what he was talking about. The only other person who had seen Kohtalon die in the basement… but he swallowed the desire down. Hearing Denji’s tears and feeling Hideki’s presence. Knowing this wasn’t really the time or place, even if it was incredibly relevant.

Maybe someday he’d tell the king those things. Have an actual conversation with the guy.

Today, though, he just grinned. Stepping away once the hug was done, nodding his head. “You’re right, thank you. Thank you all again for coming. Save some energy for the party tomorrow too! There will be more food and stuff, Kokichi and Shuichi have both put a ton of time into its organization, it’ll be a lot of fun!”

Aiichi hadn’t wanted his son’s wedding to be bad, of course. He could remember his own wedding, how it had been one of the happiest days of his life, how, seeing Miyako turn to him as they said their vows, he had wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life seeing her smile just like that. And he knew Kokichi’s wedding wouldn’t be that--his son was marrying a stranger, and the wedding was born of necessity, more than anything. It was something that had to be done, rather than something that wanted to be done right. But he had still hoped that it would be a pleasant experience. 

He had seen the fire in Kokichi’s eyes after the bonding ceremony, had heard his bright, braying laughter among the crowd of dancers at the afterparty, and from that moment on Kokichi had never faltered once in trying to support his new husband and new friends, so Aiichi knew that it hadn’t all been bad. 

But some of it had been. Some of it had been so bad, it had been nightmarish, and traumatic. Not just for Kokichi, but Kaito too, and Aiichi hadn’t had to make eye contact with Kaito in that basement to see the despair and desperate reverence on his face. Instead of being one of the happiest days of their lives, their wedding had been something they had survived, and…that wasn’t fair. 

But while it didn’t erase what had happened…getting what they actually deserved from such a day now was…

…well, Aiichi just didn’t want to ruin it. 

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” Aiichi chuckled. “I am officiating again, so I’ll try to give you a better heads up this time--Ko’s mentioned to me he wants to be a little more verbose about his declaration and vows this go around.”

“Hah! Did he tell you about that? It’s alright, I can be kinda clueless sometimes.” Kaito laughed, flushing somewhat in embarrassment, though not displeased by it as he shrugged, “This time I’ll know! If we’re heading to you and suddenly everyone is staring at us? Wedding time! I know the signs!”

Kokichi wants to be louder about his vows? Kaito wondered idly what that actually meant, though maybe it was as simple as ‘make it more obvious that it was time to give vows’. Kaito still was more amused than anything, thinking about how lost he had been the entire officiating ceremony. That memory less traumatic and more just Kaito absolutely being blindsided by cultural difference. Which wasn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it was just funny. 

Giving them all an appreciative nod, Kaito let out a breath as he headed back to his husband, who had a crowd around him now. Shuichi by his side, holding his hand as they chatted with everyone. Kaito felt himself notably relax as he returned to their sides, wrapping his arms around their waists, resting his head on Shuichi’s shoulder as he leaned against them both a little, “Heeeeey handsome, beautiful~ you guys having fun? Everything good over here?”

Kokichi giggled and readjusted Miyako in his arms as she started happily wiggling and babbling when Kaito joined them. Leaning against Kaito, Kokichi hummed happily. “Even better now that you’re here.”

“Boo, I know it’s your bonding ceremony but that’s way past the sappy threshold,” Waku playfully griped, holding her arms in an X in front of her. 

“Aw, c’mon Waku, they get a pass today. And tomorrow!” Lake boomed. “When else can you be a melty heart than your own wedding?”

Nazumi gave the princes a small wink. “Practically every day, if yer talkin’ about Kokichi.”

Kokichi rolled his eyes a bit. “Yeah, yeah, I love my husbands, so scandalous, talk of the town.”

“He doesn’t even calm down in private.” Maki said dryly, while Kaito just grinned, placing a small kiss on Kokichi’s head and hugging him tighter, “It’s still nothing but gushing and oo’ing and awwing. It’s like he has no shame.”

“Okay, but, like, I can actually one hundred percent back our queen here up.” Amber nodded, giving Maki a smirk, though Maki just raised a slight eyebrow at the slang Amber chose to use, “Kokichi loves to gush. It’s super cute, and super gag, sometime I love it, sometimes I’m choking on it, doesn’t matter which one I’m at, little savage just keeps going anyway!”

Kaito thought dreamily ‘Wish I was choking on it’ but did not, thankfully, say this aloud to a group of their closest friends and family. He wasn’t that shameless.

“I like it, it’s very sweet. I think I’ll marry him for it.” Shuichi smiled softly, idly playing with Miyako’s foot as she lightly kicked it, her little ankle bracelet jingling slightly every time she did. “Kaito too, maybe.”

“Uh huh. You can tease all you want, punk, I know you’re crazy for me.” Kaito snorted, before grinning at the group, “I’m sure they’ve already said it, but thanks again for coming guys. I know doing marriage stuff two days in a row probably was a bit of a hassle, and the actual wedding day is probably more tempting if you’re just gonna go to one, but this has meant the world to us.”

Kokichi just shrugged with a shameless grin. Of all things to be embarrassed by, openly loving and adoring his partners was something Kokichi really couldn’t see harboring those kinds of feelings…and maybe that’s what truly made him shameless. Either way, though, it was a path in life he was more than happy to take, and hopefully it wouldn’t turn his partners into complete puddles of goo. 

There were still some things that he did feel shame for, and Kaito might be able to guess it judging by the gentle nudge as Kokichi pressed his elbow into his husband’s gut. 

Undeterred by the moony eyes Kokichi was giving Shuuichi, Lake let out a bright laugh. “You kidding?! Of course we’d all come out to celebrate! Not every day you three tie the knot, and that you get to do it twice for all aspects of the dang thing? Count me in for sure, more reason to cheer y’all on!”

Nodding earnestly, Drake added, “It’s an honor to be here for you guys. Really, I’m just glad you wanted me to come celebrate. Even if school was a factor right now, seeing one of my best friends get bonded and married is more important than any lecture.”

“Sorry, you’re stuck with our love and support,” Waku shrugged. “Guess we just have to party.”

“Well, tomorrow’s the party-party. But, we have all these people here, maybe there is something we could do today if no one but Temp is ready to rush off…” Kaito murmured, looking around.

“Did you have something in mind?” Shuichi asked.

“Not even a little bit. Give me a second.” Kaito insisted, tapping restlessly on his partners shoulders, “... okay.” Kaito grinned, looking at the group, “This is going to sound a little childish, but. When I first met Kokichi, I asked for childhood stories, right? And he told me about this great little game that we don’t have in Luminary. Kind of like hide and go seek, but it’s like everyone’s ‘it’ for a while, until they find someone and it becomes this like… pile?”

Kaito grinned, “Anyone have any idea what I’m talking about?”

“OOH, SARDINES!!” Lake boomed, the high ceiling of the temple making her voice echo even more than usual. While fairly used to her own volume, the acoustics seemed to catch her off guard, and she coughed awkwardly, while Nazumi just looked on in fondness. “Er, yeah! That game’s a blast! Though…looking out for property, we might not want to play in the temple. Games like this can get kinda out of hand, yanno?”

“Not even factoring in how competitive some of you guys get,” Waku nodded. “Should we go to a park or something? I’m game.”

Looking around the group, Drake looked mildly alarmed. “Uh, wait, I don’t think I know this one…?”

“It’s simple.” The dismissive, rough voice was new to the group, though not unfamiliar, as Denji walked up, looking a little ragged, but somehow more put together than you’d expect for someone who had just been sobbing their eyes out. “Listen, you just…”

As Denji explained to Drake, and anyone else who didn’t know the game, Kokichi looked up at Kaito and Shuuichi. “That does sound like a lot of fun… Would you wanna go to a park?”

Shuichi sighed, “How do I keep ending up in games like these when we all spend time together.”

“Hey, we played the detective game stuff our last big celebration. Now we’re doing something I know ‘Kichi would like.” Kaito told him, his tone mildly scolding, before placing a big, wet, noisy kiss on Shuichi’s cheek, “Got it?”

“Nnngh, fiiiine. But you need to change.” Shuichi told Kaito dryly, “And not just because I’m feeling possessive. You’re wearing most of that same outfit tomorrow too, right? Go change. Put on more clothes while you’re at it.”

“You’re lucky I’m not the rebellious sort. I’d go out just in my boxers to mess with ya. Kokichi would definitely pull some shit like that if you tried this on him… aww, oops, my bad, my little baby is here, my baaaad~” Kaito suddenly recalled, looking adoringly down at Miyako, before nodding, “Alright! We’ll do this at the park! Let me go get changed, I’ll catch up with you guys!”

Kokichi glanced over at his sibling, relieved to see they were rather occupied. “Mm… These probably aren’t the best clothes for running around…but they aren’t that bad either. Denji-chan’ll kill me if I get muddy…” A smirk spread over Kokichi’s face. “But that’s always been part of the fun.”

“Sardines is fun, Shuu-chan,” he encouraged, smiling up at his husband. “And if you’re good at it, that mostly entails chillin’ out sitting for a while. I bet you’d be really good at it, pick the best places to hide~”

“That said, could you pick me up a sweater when you stop at home, hun? It’s not that cold out, but this shirt pretty much has no back.”

Kaito considered fighting on Denji’s behalf– they had done him a huge solid, after all– buuuuut didn’t wanna step on sibling dynamics or whatever the heck was the deal with these two. So, just nodding, Kaito leaned down to give Kokichi a quick kiss, than another kiss to Shuichi, “...sure you won’t wanna come with me to help me take this off?” Kaito whispered in Shuichi’s ear.

Flushing, Shuichi gently pushed Kaito away, whispering back “You are determined to see me make bad decisions today. Go, begone, bring back clothes. Come on, Kokichi. Let’s see if Miyako’s up to a day at the park.”

Kaito watched warmly as Shuichi wrapped his arms around Kokichi, the two following the group out of the temple, before looking around. Spotting Behemoth, he hurried over to him, bowing low as he said, “Priest Bullsworth! Thank you for the ceremony. Your sermon was beautiful.”

“Is it? I wouldn’t have guessed. You’d think if my sermons were so good, you’d come to temple more often.” Behemoth huffed, “You still quaking in your boots over us?”

“...” Kaito grinned uneasily. Uncertain what to say.

“That’s a yes. Look, I’m starting to think the gift we sent you for your anniversary was somehow too subtle, so. Listen here, you weird skittish brute,” Behemoth said, reaching over and, without even looking around to see who would be looking, grabbed Kaito’s collar and gripping it tight, shaking him a little as Kaito gasped slightly, “I’m gonna talk to you in a language I think will get through: start! Coming! To temple!”

“Gah!” Kaito gasped, grasping Behemoth’s wrist, “Wait, wait, I think you’re just trying to make a point, but Mr. Nidai’s going too– wait wait wait STOP!”

Priest Bullsworth, not expecting the genuine fear in Kaito’s voice, let go of his collar, giving him a confused look as he said, “Woah, okay, I wasn’t going to actually hurt you. Just trying to get your attention, kid… uh…”

Behemoth, noticing the shadow over Kaito was slightly too wide, and that Kaito wasn’t actually looking at him. Staring at something with nervous apprehension over Behemoths shoulder. He glanced over his shoulder just as a massive hand came down on it. And at that touch, it was like a jolt of electricity ran through him all at once. Something tingling and electric and alive skittering over his skin, like dancing energy radiating through the fingertips and into the whole of him.

And with that little shock of electricity, Behemoth suddenly had the invasive but undeniable thought ‘This person would kill me.’

But the smile on Nekomaru’s face was purely friendly as he patted the priest on the shoulder some more, saying brightly, “DON’T MIND ME, JUST GONNA WALK MY PRINCE HERE BACK TO THE CASTLE, SINCE HE’S BROKEN OFF FROM THE GROUP. NEVER CAN BE TOO CAREFUL! WE ROUGHHOUSING?”

“Uh…” the electric feeling went away a little, but Behemoth felt a bead of sweat fall from his hairline anyway, “Yeah. Just trying to invite the kid to temple. We, uh…” realizing he was now talking to Nekomaru more than Kaito, he turned back to the prince, saying sternly, “We had a rough first meeting, and I know I can talk kind of blunt and harsh, and I feel like I gave you the wrong impression that you’re still avoiding us over. Just cause I didn’t want you walking up in here as the next damn prophet or saint, doesn’t mean you’re not welcome by the Atuan’s here. Thought we’d be seeing you constantly once we had an actual damn temple up, figured you were just too prim and proper for the old place, but now we got something nice and I still never see ya. Way I figure it, if I accidentally scared ya off, I should try scaring you back.”

“Oh, uh… hah!” Kaito grinned, smoothing out his collar and nodding enthusiastically, “Yeah, you’re not wrong. Kinda thought you guys wouldn’t want me around… but, yeah! I’ve been meaning to come more regularly, it’s just time catches up to you and, well, I didn’t want to intrude too much–”

“Well start coming. We get some of those kids from Luminary who come to temple sometimes, like those two girls you brought by back in the day, and they keep demanding to know where the heck you are. How should I know? I thought you were just gonna show up at some point! I sent you a bowl basically saying ‘come to temple already!’ Anyway, yeah, being more direct this time.” Behemoth scoffed, “And congratulations on your bonding ceremony. Shuichi’s a catch. That boy has curves– uuuh, he’s got a brilliant mind, I hear!” Behemoth sputtered as the electric ‘Do you wanna die’ feeling suddenly amplified behind him. “Real brilliant, a great partner!”

“Damn right.” Nekomaru muttered, before going around and putting an arm around Kaito, pulling him away, “AND THEY’RE WAITING FOR HIM AT THE PARK NOW, SO WE HAVE TO GO, PRIEST. BE SEEING YOU AROUND.”

As Kaito gave Behemoth a wave, he glared up at Nekomaru as soon as they were out of view, “You will not be seeing him around.”

“RELAX, I’M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING, JUST WANTED TO LEAVE AN IMPRESSION. IF THAT MAN WANTS TO DO SOME ROUGHHOUSING, HE CAN TAKE SOME ROUGHHOUSING. ALRIGHT, LET’S GET YOU TO THE CASTLE!”

-

Even with a fairly large group, it didn’t take long for them all to collect at the park. While there were large expanses of grass, there were still enough play-structures, amenity buildings, and natural spaces that there would be plenty of places to hide, even for quite a few places. And so, all that was left was to figure out who would be the first ‘hider’. 

As much as she did want to play, Nazumi volunteered to stay back from the game and act as a ‘base’, of sorts, staying in the center of the park for the best vantage point, and for anyone to rendezvous if they got too overwhelmed. Kokichi thought about asking her to watch Miyako too, but…at least for the seeking portion, it would really just be like he was taking a walk with her through the park, and Miyako was quite a fan of those. 

After a couple rounds of ‘Tiger’, it was decided that Drake would be their first initial hider, and everyone turned and averted their eyes, giving him ample time to dash off. And while there was a part of the vampire that wanted to find a truly impressive spot…after the catwalk fiasco, he just wanted to find a safe spot that would fit everyone. 

…perhaps the rafters of the covered sports court wasn’t that, but…there were plenty of simpler spots in the court to hide too?

“Alright!” Amber shouted, pounding her fist into her open palm, grinning confidently, “I’m great at games like this! Who wants to search with me? I’ll lead you right to him!”

“Mmm, lies.” Stacy sighed, shaking her head, “Amber has a terrible sense of direction. I’ll stick with you just to make sure you don’t get lost.”

“Stacy! Shut up! It’s the park, I’m not gonna get lost!” Amber whined, blushing in embarrassment, “And never knowing where I’m going means I’ll find the spots no one else even thinks of! That’s what makes me soooo good at games like these!”

“I’ll go with you two.” Shuichi offered, before stopping at Maki’s tap on his shoulder, “Hm?”

“We’re not going together?” Maki asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You can meet up with me when I find him first.” Shuichi smirked, “I’m gonna find him first. Obviously.”

Maki narrowed her eyes, “Ooooh. Obviously.”

“Hey, hey, what is Drake?” Cali asked Timothy, “Does he have a job?”

“Um, I think he’s a student? I dunno.” Tim shrugged. “Why?”

Cali looked around, found a stick on the pathway, cracked it in half, gave Timothy the other half of the stick, and held it up in the air like a spear, “CHASE DOWN THE STUDENT! HUNT HIM DOWN! We’ll find you a sword too, Kimiko!” 

“Hurray~” Kimiko cheered, throwing her hands up, “Hunt Mister Student!!”

“I’ll go with the kids.” Kyoko said, following the children, Oliver at her heels.

“That’s right!” Lake cheered Amber on. “Sometimes the fastest way to the goal is a detour! Whatever way you go, if you’ve got confidence behind it you can’t lose!”

Nazumi sighed softly, and both Kokichi and Waku patted her arms. 

“I’ll keep an eye out and see if she’s gonna wander out of the park,” Kokichi soothed. 

“She’ll get delivered back home eventually,” Waku smirked, before just chuckling more watching Denji bolt, following the kids’ example and heading out already. Even in a suit, they weren’t going to lose any sort of game. 

“Kokichi,” Hideki called. “Would you mind if we looked together?”

“Not at all! Let’s head out before everyone else beats us just on pure time!”

Already deep in conversation, it seemed like Ikuo and Aiichi were off heading in a different direction. Everyone intent on tracking Drake down. 

It would almost be nostalgic.

Kaito eventually got to the park, thanks to Nekomaru harassing him the entire time only changing his clothes twice as he tried to pick what he’d wear at the park and not re-doing his hair at all. He still felt a little underdressed, but knowing Kokichi liked him in his workout clothes anyway, Kaito just put on some dark sweatpants and a muscle shirt and then a different part of the same outfit that fit just a tad tighter around him before grabbing a sweater for Kokichi. 

Finding Nazumi, he gave her a little wave, looking around the park as he asked, “I miss anything yet? Spotted anything from here?”

“Ain’t been long since folks headed out--not long ‘nuff for Amber or Lake to cross to the whole other side, so I don’t think they’ve wandered too far off yet. ‘Kichi ‘n Hideki headed off towards the flower patch over there, if ya wanted to catched up with them,” she gave Kaito a nod, seeing the small sweater in his grasp. 

After a moment, though, she gave him a small smirk. “Sounded like Shuu’chi ‘n Maki are havin’ a competition just between the two of ‘em, so that’ll be interesting. I’ll admit it’s a bit ‘a cheating, but you want my best guess to where Drake’s hidin’?”

Kaito fussed with the sweater in his hands a bit, slightly conflicted… before he grinned at her and nodded, kneeling down beside her, ready to follow her gaze as he said, “Yeah? What you recken?” 

Nazumi tilted her head off towards one of the playground areas. “He’s a nervous fella--wants folks to have fun, but doesn’t wanna do anything too risky. Lotta places to hide over there, but the safety committee makes sure it’s all in ship-shape. Ain’t sayin’ it’s a shoe-in, but prolly a solid guess.”

Kaito grinned, nodding his head enthusiastically, “That makes sense, that makes sense. And he is a pretty nervous guy, though I gotta tell ya, he’s got some massive balls where it counts. Like, I’d bank on him being too considerate to go anywhere dangerous, but that’s entirely for everyone else's sake. He’s tough as nails himself, he could seriously hide anywhere…”

Kaito paused, considering it, before amending, “He’d maybe fall out of wherever he was hiding, because he’s also crazy clumsy. But still! He could totally be right up a tree, to the very top, very briefly, before falling down it!”

Resting himself against his legs, balancing on his toes, Kaito fiddled with Kokichi’s sweater some more, before deciding his husband would forgive the delay, “Got any other predictions? I wanna bet that my Maki or Shuichi will find him first, but that’s admittedly just my bias showing. They’re trained to find people, but so is your Lake, really.”

Nazumi nodded consideringly. “Ah, yeah, kid seems to have some sort’a new bandage every time I see ‘im. I dunno if I quite believe in that theory Shuu’chi tossed ‘round about that just makin’ Drake more resilient…but he has stuck in it through everything so far. Let’s hope for everyone’s sake he ain’t up a tree, though.”

Giving Kaito an amused look, Nazumi hummed and looked back out at the park, briefly checking in with the scattered groups of their party when they came into her view. Though, at the first subject Kaito posed, Nazumi let out a snort of laughter. “Don’t let me go makin’ ya think she ain’t good at her job, but I wouldn’t be puttin’ any sort of bets on Lake unless it’s for the loser. My little hero couldn’t find the broad side of a barn if there’s more than two trees surroundin’ it.”

“Hm… Denji sure has the drive to be first, and they ain’t bad at trackin’ down things--gotta make sure clients ain’t afraid to step into the Needle Zone, ya know? Just dunno if they’ll be able to stand out against the others. Waku’s either spot on or way off, though she might just ditch to watch other folks struggle. Though the same reasoning could make her wanna find Drake first and spy on anyone who gets close.”

“Shuu’chi’s ma is a detective too, ain’t she?” Nazumi tilted her head at Kaito. “Though she might be more interested in tryin’ to see if the kids catch on, than tryin’ to get glory herself. ‘Kuo’s got quite a lotta experience findin’ hidin’ spots too…which means ‘Kichi’s a contender too, since he’s good at makin’ hiding spots.”

“Just who first comes ta mind, though. People’ll always surprise ya.”

Kaito hummed, nodding along. Makes sense, makes sense. “My most honest bet? It’s gonna be my ‘Kichi who finds him.” Kaito admitted, thumping backwards as he decided to just sit down next to her, “There’s plenty of people who could find Drake before him, and maybe Kokichi will even let them… but my husbands just kinda really, really good at stuff. Like… you have to know what I mean, right? I know I have ‘doting husband’ blinders on, but it can’t just be me who notices it… unless he’s in a literal coma? Can’t get out of bed? Kokichi’s just kinda amazing at things. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him fail.”

“I really love him for that. It might sound shallow, but Luminaries are by and large impressed by someone being the best or strongest or whatever, whatever…” Kaito shrugged, watching the groups run around fondly, “I swear it’s a Luminary trait, not just a ‘me’ thing. We’re raised to admire that sort of thing. But it can be kinda… envy inducing too. He’s amazing. Was he always this good at everything he tried to do? Like, you watched him grow up, was he always like that?”

Nazumi snorted another laugh, but she did flash Kaito a mildly apologetic look for this one. “Aw, kiddo. ‘Kichi’s a real diamond, but I’d say it is the blinders goin’ so far to say he’s never failed. He’s human like the rest ‘a us, failures ‘n struggles ‘n all; he’s just got the perseverance ta keep tryin’ until he succeeds. An’...maybe that makes Diceans an’ Luminaries just two sides ‘a the same coin, ‘cause I know plenny ‘a folks that find that kind of determination incredible.”

“S kinda hard ta come up with specific examples, ‘cause…Kokichi was worse at practically everything he can do now, when he was startin’ out. I s’ppose you could say his kindness was somethin’ of a natural talent, but I’d say he’s still workin’ to make that bloom. But whether it was strugglin’ in school, or bein’ clumsy with new maneuvers Ikuo taught ‘im, or just startin’ out drawin’... Nepphy’s put in a lotta work to improve in every way I can see. That might just be his biggest strength of all.”

“Heh. Maybe it’s just that you saw him when he was a little kid. I’m telling you, he’s amazing at stuff… he can play the piano! Did you know that? We literally just found that out, like, this month.” Kaito grinned, puffing his chest a bit, “He’s good at it too, though, he’ll swear that he isn’t. He can sing, it’s really soft and pretty. I used to be able to play the hurdy-gurdy, but that was a long time ago and I haven’t practiced in years, probably couldn’t do much more than make noise with it now. Shame, if I had known my husband would be musical? I’d have made more of an effort to be able to play with him.”

Glancing at Nazumi, Kaito fussed with the sweater, “...hey? Can I talk to you about something? Kinda serious?”

Nazumi nodded fondly. She hadn’t heard Kokichi play herself, but he had mentioned trying to learn a few pieces from the late King Taitei’s repertoire. Nazumi thought it was real sweet--the kid could be real esoteric about it, but he did really try to connect with his family. If he was up for playing for his husbands, maybe she’d ask if she could hear a piece some time. 

“Ain’t too late for that, you know. If you wanna bond through music, you could start practicin’ again--ain’t nothin’ stoppin’ ya.” Except the self, which tended to be quite the hurdle for certain folks, and Nazumi had seen that a few times in Kaito. But it was something for him to decide and discover for himself. 

Giving him a side look, Nazumi nodded before resuming her hawk watch over the park. “Sure, shoot.”

….hmmmm.

Kaito was once again faced with his least favorite conflict: trying to talk to Kokichi’s family without making a total ass of himself, accidentally or intentionally insulting them, and not putting himself in a position where they were going to say something ‘wrong’ and he was going to spend way too long being a mopey, whiney little bastard about it. His success rate… wasn’t high. But sometimes he managed it! Okay…

“Um…” Kaito pressed his fingers together. Trying to crack his joints through sheer pressure alone, “...I had some misgivings. About you being a godmother, when Kokichi first brought it up. And, we’ve decided on you, and none of this is me saying I want to change our minds on it. But… I never really got past those initial misgivings, and I was hoping maybe… we could talk about them? If that’s okay? It’s okay if it’s not okay, this suddenly feels like the worst time to do this, I don’t know why I feel the need to bring up conversations like this when everyone else is just enjoying themselves and having a good time, man, I used to be good at partying, what the hell happened to that Kaito, maybe I should be drinking… uh.” 

Kaito paused his rambling. Tapping his hands together some more, “...yeah. Are you… is it okay? For Miyako to maybe end up your daughter? Can you… handle that?”

Nazumi…wasn’t all that surprised. She and Lake both knew that Kaito got nervous with them, for various reasons, and especially with the advent of the royal family asking them to be godmothers, their solution was just…to be patient. Like Nazumi was doing now, letting Kaito ramble for a bit, seeing if he got himself back on track. And while Nazumi never found it surprising when anyone gave her misgivings regarding her murder record…this wasn’t exactly that. 

She sighed softly. “Kaito, if you asked me…shoot, three years ago? I would’a crapped my pants an’ begged ya to consider anyone else. Me, a ma? Pschh.”

Another sigh. “But, as cringy as it feels ta say… I don’t give myself enough credit. I don’t think the ‘feelin’ out ‘a your league’ feelin’ really ever goes away…but I sure as hell ain’t that poor, deluded teen anymore. I’m someone that can look an’ decide my own actions, an’ I don’t wanna hurt anyone with ‘em anymore.”

“Sure that don’t mean I’ll always succeed, but no one does,” Nazumi shrugged. “We just gotta try our best, and trust in the people around us that they trust us too. To be honest…I hope I’ll never be Miyako’s ma, ‘cause that means losin’ you. But I wouldn’t let losin’ you make me lose her too. If it came down to it…I’d love bein’ her ma, an’ I could only hope to make her as happy as you would’a.”

Kaito nodded, his jaw set a little. Curled protectively around his knees, how he often found himself sitting, when he talked to someone who made him nervous in this particular kind of way. He wasn’t intimidated. This wasn’t how he acted when he was truly intimidated. You didn’t curl up and cower in front of danger, you had to stand and square your shoulders and bare your teeth at that kind of threat. 

No, this curl was usually when Kaito was talking to someone who made him feel guilty, in some way. Drawing his knees to himself because that sick, ugly feeling in his stomach started to feel like acid, and curling up helped ease the uncomfortable tightness there, each little spark of guilt running through him like poison. 

“I’m sorry. I know it’s not fair to ask you questions like that. If it makes you feel any better, Kokichi’s gotten, like, furious with me, for constantly doubting you. He believes in you with all of himself, he doesn’t have a single doubt. Shuichi feels confident about the choice too, so it was really, ya know, just me.”

“I just…” Kaito shrugged, his expression darkening a little, “...with how you and… Lake are? Look, I know this is how you guys are and you two have your own thing going on, we’ve talked about it before. But… I’ve been the guy, who constantly has to watch what he says or what he does because if you do it wrong, suddenly your loved ones are acting a little, ya know…” Kaito winced, “Murderous. And it’s your fault when that happens… you fuck up and suddenly people are getting hurt and it’s like, well… you knew that was going to happen. You knew. Why didn’t you try harder to not fuck up… that shit weighs on a person. It fucking, just, taints everything. And no one can ever tell you differently, no one can tell you that it wasn’t your fault, that you didn’t make anyone do anything, because, like, to you? It’s like you can see every stupid mistake or misstep that led to it, and it’s all so damn obvious in retrospect that it feels like you must not have even cared at all…it changes how you view yourself. Everything you do. When someone hurts someone else because of you.”

“I just… I just need to know that you wouldn’t let that happen to Miyako. And that if it became possible? That you’d… tell someone, I guess.” Kaito frowned, sighing as he rested his forehead on his knees, “I’m sorry, I’m sure you wouldn’t have agreed to do this or said all of that if there was a chance it ever happened. This is insulting… I just need to hear you say it. That you wouldn’t do that to Miyako. It’d mean a lot to me.”

“I appreciate the vote from ‘em, but…you should doubt me,” Nazumi said plainly. “Maybe not ‘Kichi, ‘cause that ain’t who he is…but you ‘an Shuu’chi barely know me, and this is your daughter we’re talkin’ about. I’d be worried if doubt never crossed your minds, ‘specially with, until now, neither ‘a you talkin’ to me about it.”

“But…” She huffed, shooting out a stream of air from between her teeth, not quite a whistle. “Damn, ya really had ta cut me off with the ‘no one can tell ya it wasn’t your fault’, huh? Well, fine, but if I can speak as the person who did hurt others ‘cause ‘a someone else?”

Nazumi looked over, staring Kaito dead in the eye. “It was never because of, or for someone else. It was always just me. That kind of possession over another person…it’s never actually about them, which sucks, yanno? Maybe it could’a meant they were special in some fucked up way, or that they really had any agency over the situation they were in. But it wasn’t. It was just my own ego an’ delusions makin’ other people fill roles I’d already decided in my head.”

“But I’m never doin’ that to anyone again,” she said softly, turning her gaze back out to the park. “An’ I got a big support system ta call me out, an’ to reach out to, if I feel myself slippin’. I’d never put my own pride before yer daughter, Kaito. She deserves so much more than that.”

Kaito felt himself relax at that. Maybe it was silly that just being told something directly really did reassure him as much as it did, but it did. Everything Nazumi had done before just by accepting the offer, assuring she wanted to be Miyako’s mother if the worst happened, none of her friends or family insisting she not be allowed to do this… all of that should, and did, imply that she’d never harm Miyako in that way. That Miyako deserved better. Kaito wasn’t ignorant, he knew that.

But hearing her say it plainly was incredibly reassuring. Kaito knew he was bad at mind games, but it felt less like he was being tricked, if he wasn’t left to assume. Maybe that just made it easier to lie to him, he didn’t know. But he was more willing to believe anything someone just plainly told him.

“Thank you.” Kaito said sincerely, giving her a slightly weak grin, “And, for Shuichi, it might be more accurate to say he really trusts Kokichi. Shuichi has a lot of faith in your nephews instincts about things. I love Kokichi, but… I don’t trust very easily anymore. Not just him, or you, or… just, I struggle more with trust than I used to. I feel guilty about it, but it’s not really something I can flip off either.”

“But, I believe you. Hah, I know that contradicts what I just said, but… it makes sense. You know the warning signs for your own stuff, and so do your loved ones, and from what I hear it’s not like you made what happened, like, a ‘habit’. And you don’t sound in denial about it either, like, you get what I’m talking about…” Kaito chuckled, shrugging, “If you understand my fears and still say it’s going to be fine? I believe you. Thank you.”

“And… thanks for the reassurance on my own thing. It’s hard to internalize that sort of thing, which is mostly what I meant by ‘no one can tell you it wasn’t your fault’. That sort of guilt doesn’t go away just cause someone tells you it’s not your fault, it’s just not that easy… I guess you’d know that better than most, I gotta imagine it’s just as hard from the other side of it.” Kaito mused, his eyes sad and far away, “...I wish my… I wish Byakuya was like you. I wish he… saw what he did as a bad thing. I don’t think he does. I think he hates me for being ungrateful, for everything he did. Fucking…. Asshole.” Kaito muttered.

“I don’t know really anything, about the person you were possessive over. But if they know, how hard you’ve worked to make up for what you did?” Kaito said, too assured of himself to worry this was the wrong thing to say, “There has to be something comforting, in knowing you knew what you did was wrong. I’d be comforted, if I knew he was trying to make up for it. Maybe I can’t really speak for the person you hurt, god knows I’m biased for a lot of reasons towards the person who hurt me… but I think it’d be comforting. I think you’d have made the right choices, once you were done doing all the, ya know… awful ones. I think you did it right.”

For, in a sense, being on either side of the issue, Nazumi had a feeling that she and Kaito had quite a lot in common that they could understand about each other. She was actually quite comforted, that Kokichi had so much faith in her, and that Shuuichi had enough faith in him to be at ease with her--even if she never blamed anyone, there was something raw and painful about always being looked at as a murderer. But beyond doubt in anyone else…Nazumi had lost trust in herself, and it had been a long road to get even a fraction of it back. 

When you lost yourself, it was hard for what anyone else said or did to get through. They could be lifelines while you drowned in that empty sea, but it would never settle into your core until you were able to lift it first. 

“I can’t say I’m a paragon of my situation--just feels wrong,” Nazumi huffed, “But…it do sound like he’s still caught in his own delusion. I was lucky that I was able to be pulled out. Some folks don’t ever see beyond the worlds they make in their minds.”

“Can’t speak for ‘er, an’ really shouldn’ even guess. But…shoot, I’d like ta think it’s at least less insultin’ that I don’t got that all pinned to my front like a button ‘a pride. Ain’t her burden ta ever forgive me…but it ain’t mine to constantly seek redemption from someone who ain’t ever gonna give it to me. I just try to do right by the people in my life now.”

“Don’t mean the past ain’t ever hauntin’...but it does get better. Easier.” Nazumi looked out at the park, chuckling under her breath as she watched Lake sprint across the grass from one of the tree patches. “Helps with good folks around.”

To call it a ‘delusion’ still made Kaito internally wince a little, but, well… that was because he had been caught up in that delusion for a long, long time. In most ways, he still felt responsible for the things Byakuya did. His parents, Togami, hell, even Chad back in the day, and while Kaito had hardened his heart to it, Hifumi too. Every time Byakuya hurt someone in the name of protecting Kaito, Kaito just saw another long string of failures, pushing Byakuya into that position. Protecting Kaito because Kaito was such a fuckup, and people getting hurt and dying because of it…

“...Kokichi is good.” Kaito said softly, He still couldn't’ see his husband, though he saw the kids either running to a new spot with Chase taking the lead, or literally chasing Chase, Kyoko following from a distance, though Oliver was gone. Hm. Maybe a few people having found Drake by now and that was why Kaito wasn’t seeing them running around, “I had a moment, not that long ago, where I could have ended up like Byakuya, at least. I won’t compare my situation to yours, it was different so that feels disrespectful, but I had a moment where I was ready to kill someone to protect them. Twice, actually, thinking about it now.”

“Kokichi made me stop, both times.” Kaito mused, “I’m grateful to him for it too. My hands aren’t clean, but admittedly, the one time I did have to, ya know… kill someone? The circumstances were so out of my control that I have a hard time feeling like it was even me that did it. More like I was just the tool swinging the sword. I didn’t even lift it myself, it was too heavy, someone else had to lift it for me and I just had to hold onto it when it fell. I was eight. I don’t know… sometimes it feels like something that happened to someone else.”

“But those moments? If Kokichi hadn’t stopped me, I’d have just been a murderer. I’m really glad that I don’t have that hanging over my head. He spared me a lot of pain, stopping me. I owe him a lot of my self worth, for that.”

Nazumi did give Kaito an alarmed look, though she stopped herself from commenting. It wasn’t like Kaito was the first person she had found out had killed as a child, and from how he described it, saying that he had killed seemed like a vast exaggeration. Still…that was torture for a child, and she reached over to pat his back. Not really the solidarity of people who had seen nightmares, but a form of comfort nonetheless. 

“...I don’t think I’d expect much different, but that was real kind ‘a him.” Nazumi sighed, a slight breeze blowing between them for a moment. “...I know I just said a pile about healin’ an’ movin’ on, and I still stand by it…but a life is a heavy thing. No matter the circumstances…it ain’t somethin’ ya shed an’ move past. It’s just a weight that ya carry. Ya might learn how ta hold it all smart-like, but it’s still there.”

Nazumi rubbed Kaito’s back, one, two back-and-forth’s before giving him a final pat. “...I’m glad ‘Kichi spared ya from havin’ more blood on your hands. Ain’t a burden I wish anyone ta carry.”

Kaito laughed, leaning into the pats a little as, entirely subconsciously, he uncurled a little. Letting his legs stretch out more naturally, his posture less tight and defensive as he grinned at her, “Oh, shit, sorry… uh, I just dropped that out of nowhere, didn’t I. Sorry, I grew up with literally everyone knowing basically everything about me, and sometimes I forget that that’s not a thing here. Like, you just straight up didn’t know anything about that. That’s my bad. Didn’t mean to get weird on you.”

“And, right? I mean, don’t get me wrong, sometimes I’ve gotten mad at him for stopping me, just because I was still angry, but, fuuuuck, it’s not like I want that kind of damage. I’m the ‘nice’ one.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes as he said it, “Back home, I mean. Uh, back in Luminary I mean. Sorry, bad habit. But man, you ask Kokichi about it? He gets so guilty! Like he did something terrible to me, by stopping me from making two giant mistakes. He’s so good, my guy. I love him so much.” Kaito grinned, before looking at the sweater at his feet and groaning, “Oooooh, I was supposed to bring him that sweater. I bet you anything he’s sitting next to wherever Drake’s hiding just freezing his adorable non-existent tush off. My poor guy.” Kaito chuckled. “I should probably go find him.”

Kaito said that, but he didn’t really make a move or shift like he was going to stand up. He just chuckled again, “Man, knowing Kokichi grew up with her as an older sister, you think he got some of that adorable niceness off of her? Lake’s also, like, really nice. Even when she’s kicking your ass in a spar. Man, talk about a blow to the ego, she dropped me like it was nothing. So cool…” Kaito looked over at Nazumi and smirked a little, nudging her, “Very attractive.”

“Did kinda hit like a carriage, but this is the sort’a conversation for it. Maybe gimme a warnin’ next time.” Still, Nazumi gave Kaito a grin, showing that it was no skin off her back. “An’ that do sound like ‘Kichi. Too nice for his own good, sometimes. Sensitive li’l thing, an’ always has been. To th’ cold too.”

Stretching out one of her legs with a breath, Nazumi chuckled and nudged Kaito back. “Tell me about it--know she usually wears long-sleeves, but girl’s got biceps for days. There’s somethin’ real nice about lookin’ at someone that could break you in half without a sweat, an’ knowin’ that they’d call ya ‘champ’ an’ give ya a high five right afterward. Though I don’t gotta say that to you, of all folks.”

-

A shiver ran down Kokichi’s spine, and he was starting to regret finding Drake so quickly before Kaito could make it back to the park. It wasn’t like the rafters were particularly drafty, since they were high enough to be blocked from the wind, but…

“Cold?”

Kokichi looked over at Ikuo with a small smile, before looking over to where Aiichi was clinging onto the beam under him for dear life, even with Ikuo steadying him. 

“A little, but it’s not so bad. I don’t think the game’ll last that much longer.”

“I honestly can’t believe Maki isn’t here yet.” Shuichi sighed, taking his long sleeves and draping them behind Kokichi like a cloak, pulling him in to try to suck more heat from him. Turns out that was trickier to do when Shuichi was almost entirely covered. “I bet she’s messing around somewhere.”

“Maybe she’s just struggling to find the hiding spot?” Amber pointed out, giving Stacy some comforting pats as Stacy looked grimly down the height, also with an arm wrapped around a beam. “It’s a good spot!”

“Nah, she’s a royal assassin–”

“Ex.” Shuichi corrected.

“She knows where we are.” Oliver said conspiratorially, looking around suspiciously, “Something’s up.”

As she said that, there was a woof, running into the basketball court, Timothy, Kimiko and Cali, all brandishing sticks they had found, ran through chanting, “HUNT THE STUDENT! HUNT THE STUDENT!”

“DOWN WITH EDUCATION!” Cali shouted, getting really into it. 

“Okay, but don’t let my mom or uncle hear that, because they might get weird about it–” Timothy whispered, wincing as Shuichi shouted down.

“WHAT!? WHAT AM I HEARING!? SOMEONE NEEDS MORE STUDYING SESSIONS WHEN SCHOOL STARTS UP AGAIN!?” Shuichi shouted down.

“Oh, damn.” Cali whispered.

“Cursing.” Timothy cautioned.

“Darn fudger-nuggets!” Kimiko coo’d.

“Why does that sound worse?” Timothy observed, looking up into the rafters before turning to Kyoko, “Miss Kirigiri, we’ve found them.”

“Well done.” Kyoko said– it wasn’t actually well done, they had been through here before and the kids had entirely missed them, but Kyoko hadn’t wanted to spoil the chase by pointing them out the first time– before gesturing upwards, “Go on then. Find a spot up there.”

Waving to the kids, Kokichi pointed to one of the pillars holding up the roof. “There’s a utility ladder over there that we’ve been using--be careful! If you don’t feel comfortable sitting up here, Hideki-ji’s hiding by the tables, for anyone who doesn’t wanna deal with heights!” Though he knew pointing that out was little more than a courtesy--of course the kids were gonna come up. Honestly he was surprised more people weren’t hiding on the ground, but he had a hunch his father was trying to look cool, Denji wouldn’t be outdone, and Amber had probably goaded Stacy up. 

It was cool, sitting up on the rafters (and there wasn’t as precise a weight limit here, especially with them all spread out on different beams), though…Kokichi kinda thought his uncle was right. He was happy his family made the time for their wedding, but he’d lose his mind if the leader of Dicea or the head secretary had to take extended leave because they cracked their head open or messed up their back playing a game.

Leaning against Shuuichi more--the sleeves did ward away at least a little of the cold--Kokichi sighed a laugh. “I can’t imagine what Maki-chan must be planning… I hope it’s not anything that would add on to already precarious balance.”

“If you like, you could choose to consider it a ‘challenge’.” Maki said grimly.

She laughed, lightly. The sound soft and bell-like. It had nefarious undertones, and seemed to menacingly bounce around the the basketball court, before Maki walked inside. Smirking lightly, something truly, unusually malevolent in her gaze, as she smiled with her teeth up at the rafters. “Kids. If you stay down here and help Miss Harukawa aim, then you won’t be in the line of fire yourselves.”

“Line of fire? Line of fire for what… oh.” Stacy peered down, eyes widening as she finally noticed what was in Maki’s hands. “Oh no… these are leather shoes!”

Maki snickered, a hose folded in half tightly in her grip, small drips of water dripping down as she said eerily, “Like ducks in a pond… Cali?” Maki sighed, watching the girl excitedly start heading to the ladder, “No. You’re too small, if I hit you with this up there you might actually fall. Come back here and help me with the hose.”

“Awwwww.” Cali whined, coming back down the ladder and sulkily following Timothy and Kimiko to Maki’s side, “I wanted to try to survive the water attack!”

“You can spray each other down here after.” Maki said, before peering up at the rafters, “...Miyako's not up there, right?”

“No.” Even speaking, it would take someone a moment to actually find Hideki, particularly well-hidden under one of the public tables as he was, Miyako sitting on his chest. Kokichi…had had more than a few moments of indecision and fretting, when they had found Drake. Kokichi really wanted to scramble up to the rafters and play along with the game, but even believing in his own abilities, there was no way he was going to endanger Miyako with a 15 foot drop. 

He…wasn’t sure if Kaito would be particularly pleased that he’d asked his uncle to hold her, but Shuuichi hadn’t seemed fussed, and they were still in the same area regardless. 

And it seemed that her new hiding place would shield her against water too. 

“Maki-chaaaaaaaan!” Kokichi whined, as Drake simply groaned to himself, futily grabbing onto the rafter tighter and hoping he wouldn’t have to explain a fatal-looking fall today. “It’s coooooold! Where’d you even get a hose anyway? You tryin’ to give us pneumonia?!”

Glaring down at the woman, Denji fiercely scowled. “You will not. Kokichi’s shirt is satin, and there are lace insets in Shuuichi’s robes.”

“Satin shirts, lace robes, leather shoes…” Maki practically sneered, a malevolent heat radiating off of her as she coo’d softly, “There’s going to be lots of casualties, toda–ah!”

“Pneu-mo-nia!” Kaito huffed, reaching around Maki’s shoulder and grasping the folds of the hose from her, ignoring Maki’s glower as he said, “Pneumonia! Remember what that was like? You’ve had it, Kokichi’s had it, remember all the sniffling and wheezing and steamed buckets?? I’m not spending the night having Kokichi hacking over a steamed bucket, Maki! I want my sexy and attractive husband to not be sick on my bonding night, Maki!”

Maki pouted, glaring at him, “I have towels from the same storage shed I found the hose in, he’d be fine.”

“Uh huh. Let’s not play with that anyway.” Kaito rolled his eyes, handing the hose to Timothy, “Go turn this off, do not spray the girls outside, it’s too cold. Besides, I still haven’t had a chance to play! We’re playing another round, right? Kokichi, babe, I got your sweater!”

Maybe it was just that they’d had such a good day, but if Kokichi didn’t know intimately better, he’d say that Maki had been suddenly possessed by some trickster spirit. Perhaps she had just been looking through the storage closet for something non-lethal (in itself, at least) to throw at them, had seen the hose, and got inspired, but…well. He’d never say that Maki didn’t have a playful side to her. 

“I would appreciate a lack of safety hazards,” Aiichi laughed, the sound just a tad too nervous to fit in with his more casual, regular variety. 

“Uh, I think we’re still on this round, Kaito,” Drake called down. “Lake and Waku haven’t found us yet, and…uh. Was Maki’s dad gonna sit this out? You guys did leave for the castle together, right?”

Waving his arms, Kokichi reached down. “Thanks, hun! Can you throw it up, if you’re not coming up?”

“Mr. Nidai’s getting a drink nearby, he’s gonna meet us after.” Kaito explained, watching the kids run off with the hose while Maki continued to pout beside him. Kaito subconsciously put an arm around her shoulder, giving her little reassuring arm rubs as he pulled her into a side hug, looking around, “What, Lake and Waku didn’t hear Maki evil monologing? That’s how I found you guys. She was practically cackling.”

“I was gonna make them wet.” Maki pouted. “You ruined my joke.”

“I did.” Kaito agreed, giving her a regretful nod, another friendly pat-pat, before pulling himself away from her as he shouted up to Kokichi, “Alright, throwing it! If you fall, don’t worry, I’ll catch you!” Kaito grinned, giving him a wink, “...though don’t fall! Alright, and… hyup!”

“Think I saw Waku nearby, actually,” Ikuo hummed. “Think she’d speak up if we were jus’ waitin’ on ‘er, but she might jus’ be watchin’.”

“Which still leaves Lake,” Denji sighed. “Unsurprisingly. What, should we give her another five minutes before getting Nazumi to track her down?”

“Sounds good to me.” Hooking his legs around the rafter, Kokichi leaned down to close the space even just a few inches towards Kaito. And as he threw the sweater up…

“H’OOP!” There was some purposeful flailing for a moment, before Kokichi threw his weight backwards and caught the sweater on his foot. Readjusting his place, Kokichi picked it up with a relieved breath and gave Kaito another wave. “I got it! Thanks, Kai-chan!”

“K-kokichi!” Shuichi squealed, looking alarmed as he quickly grabbed the back of Kokichi’s shirt, notably fretting.

“...ooooh.” Kaito oo’d, flushing a little, “That was cool.”

Looking around, Kaito mused, “If we’re just waiting for Lake to stumble on us, then we’re not really ‘hiding’ are we? I see a ball. Wanna take some shots, Maki-roll?” Kaito asked, heading over to pick up the ball tucked by a leg of a table… and the grin on Kaito’s face twisting a little, as he peeked under the table, “...ooooh. There’s my baby… is baby having a good time on Uncle Hideki’s chest? She’s not causing you any trouble now, is she?”

Kokichi pulled the sweater over his head, and while how it bunched over his poofy sleeves was a little uncomfortable, he could rest easy knowing that it bothered Denji far more than it bothered him. But, bare skin now covered, Kokichi offered his husband a sheepish smile and scooted closer to him again. “Sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Hideki, still placidly lying on the ground, gave Kaito a nod as he crouched down. “Hello, Kaito. She’s been no trouble at all--I think the excitement of the ceremony has tired her out a bit, though she seems to be fiercely resisting the temptation of a nap. A delightfully stubborn one, isn’t she.”

“Well, she comes by it honestly.” Kaito mused, “it’s alright, Miyaaaa~ Dad’s nearby. Go to sleep baby girl, nothing’s going to happen… well, she seems alright.” Kaito decided– no dinging in his head, at least– and, well… there was something satisfying, in seeing Hideki laid out on the ground. Worse ways to see him with his daughter. And Kaito was making an effort, with Hideki. Making a fuss that Hideki was literally just holding Kaito’s baby was not making an effort. That was the opposite of progress. “Just let me know if you need any help with her!”

Picking up the basketball, Kaito headed back to Maki, still grinning, whispering to her, “How’d I do?”

“The disgust only showed on your face for a second.” Maki reassured him.

“Yes.” Kaito grinned, “Come on, let’s go to the other hoop so that the bouncing doesn’t disturb my princess.”

“There go the jocks.” Shuichi mused, watching Maki and Kaito start playing with the ball, before looking to Kokichi, “Do you want to join them?”

Progress. Kaito only mildly looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there, and if literally holding his pride and joy was the key to that, it wasn’t like Hideki was ever upset to spend time with his little niece. And she didn’t seem to despise him, so…win-win. 

Leaning forward slightly to watch Kaito and Maki play, Kokichi shook his head with a small sigh. “Nah. Basketball’s cool an’ all, but I always seem to jam my fingers whenever I’m even just messing around with the ball. I really suck at shooting too.”

“Oh, I get that,” Drake nodded. “It’s like my head’s a ball magnet, sometimes. In school, I think there was a gym period where I got hit ten times before I just asked the teacher if I could sit out. And even then there was a ball that clocked me, sailing into the hall in front of the changing rooms.”

“That is some extraordinary poor luck,” Aiichi noted, to which Drake simply nodded.

BAM, THWANG– “Oh shit, look out!”

Almost like he had been taunting fate, the rebounded basketball flew directly towards Drake’s head. And from there, things seemed like they happened in slow motion. Kokichi surged forward, a wordless cry from his mouth, almost mirroring Ikuo from the other side as they both reached for Drake, the vampire looking utterly stunned as he fell from the rafters. 

Kokichi’s heart dropped from his chest. He wasn’t even thinking about Drake’s resilience, or anything of the sort, just suddenly, intensely worried for his friend’s safety…and to those looking closely, and inclined to see anyway, they might’ve been able to see a burst of electric yellow sparks coming from the prince’s body. 

Drake was falling…

And then time sped up again, with a deep-belly, “OOPH!!” and a flash of red and green. 

“Shoot, dude!” Lake said, her voice uncharacteristically gentle. “Hey, hold on, lemme put you down at a table--anything hurt?”

Kaito let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, as he and Maki hurried over to Lake, “Shit, shoot, that’s my bad, sorry, I hit the backboard and… Drake, man, you good?”

There was giggling from the back of the rafters, Timothy trying to hush his friends as they headed back, all three of the kids and Chase all conspicuously far more wet now than they had been when they left with the hose. Kyoko, seeing Drake in Lake’s arms, suddenly swooned a little as she gasped, “Is Miss Lake sweeping Mr Student off his feet? Maybe she’s saving him from the hunt?”

“Oh, right! Where’s our sticks!? He’s in our sight!” Cali realized, looking around frantically.

“Leave him be, kids, Drake just had a fall.” Maki said sternly, following Lake, “Though, it was a good catch. Double check his neck though.”

Drake let out a breath, offering Kaito a weak smile. “I’m okay, man… It was an accident, no worries.” But that it happened to him…well, was still an accident, but he really should’ve seen that coming. Some psychic he was. 

Gently depositing Drake on the bench of one of the tables--Hideki having slid himself out from the one he and Miyako had been under, watching in concern while securely holding a suddenly very much awake Miyako--Lake nodded, checking Drake over for injuries. “Heck of an accident. Maybe you should just stay away from heights, man. That could’ve been pretty scary if I hadn’t been passing by.”

Briefly, a flicker of confusion passed over Lake’s face as she checked over Drake’s neck, and in turn Drake’s eyes widened slightly, his face paling. But, having scrambled down from the rafters as soon as Drake was caught, Kokichi came up with teary eyes and a serious expression. And that was enough for him to nudge Lake away, though she still glanced at Drake with a considering expression. “I’m so sorry, Drake… Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea… Could we invite you over to the castle for something warm to drink? I-I’m sure more than a couple of us could use warming up…”

Still looking at him, Lake gave a slow nod. “Yeah, dude. You’re cold as ice. And while this first aid certified lady can say you’re uninjured, rest is a good idea after a scare like that.”

Kaito went around the other side of the table, before frowning as he put a hand on Drake’s forehead, “Oh yeah, no doubt. A warm drink… maybe a bite? Food would probably help. You’re too thin, you don’t eat enough man.”

Looking around, Kaito asked the group, “Would it be too silly to try this again tomorrow? The kids are soaked, somehow.” Kaito noted, giving the three a withering look, who just dripped in response, “And we’re all getting together tomorrow again anyway! Put this on hold, get everyone all nice and warmed up?”

Shuichi, who was carefully coming down the ladder in his robes, still offered Denji a handhold if they needed it at the bottom, nodding his head, “I don’t mind trying again tomorrow. This was fun. Drake accidentally nearly dying is just sort of a part of these things, really. It’s how we know he’s been here.” Shuichi smiled sweetly, entirely serene. “Though comparatively he came out relatively unscathed, which is good!”

While the company was far too mixed for Drake to actually give Kaito a glower, or anything of the sort, he did give the prince a rather flat look, before letting it relax into a grateful nod. A ‘bite’, huh? Wow, so clever. “You have nothing to make up for, Kokichi, but…yeah, I don’t mind coming over for a bit. Just let me know when I’ve overstayed my welcome, alright,” he laughed softly. “It is your binding day, and all.”

Kokichi still looked more than a little upset, but he accepted Drake’s words enough that he could turn to the kids with a sigh. “I hope you guys got enough fun out of that… C’mon, let’s see if we can find those towels Maki-chan talked about--we don’t want you guys getting a chill on the way home. Cali, Kimiko, you guys still have spare exercise clothes in Tim’s room, right? We can get your clothes dried before you head home.”

“You really take these things lightly, huh, Shuuichi?” Waku more noted than asked, as she and Nazumi (nearly) finished bringing the group back together. “Though, I suppose it’s easy to when no one got hurt.”

Kaito couldn’t help but grin a bit at the flat look– thank you, he was so clever– before going to offer him a hand up. As the girls chirped happily at Kokichi, confirming what he already knew, Shuichi shrugged lightly at Waku, “I grew up with an assassin, Kaito, and a lot of other people who either sought danger out or ran into it constantly by accident. Drake is lucky, to be able to walk away from incidents like these so often. It’s not a good thing that they happen at all, but the existence of danger isn’t going to have me wringing my hands in distress. When we first got here, Kaito broke his arm, was stabbed in the back, Maki was beaten, I was stabbed, and nothing felt all that overwhelming until Kokichi had his second heart attack in the time I knew him… I can’t pretend to not be used to danger. Whether someone is hurt or not.”

Waku nodded, a sort of ‘yeah, okay’ expression crossing her face. “You know, that’s fair. That’s a peaceful view of acceptance of it all.”

Taking Kaito’s hand up, Drake stretched a little, shaking off the last of the scare. He caught Lake still looking him over with a bit of concern, and he flashed her a small smile. Really, he was quite grateful to her. Yeah, pain still hurt, and it really would’ve sucked to hit the ground, so he was grateful for that, but really… Even if she did think he was a little strange now, that’s something he’d take over either feigning greater injury, or trying to explain to everyone else why he wasn’t worse off. Hopefully he would’ve been able to rely on Shuuichi and the others to give him a hand in that, but…easier to have just been saved by a buff guard. 

Having corralled the kids into drying off as much as they could manage without taking off clothes, Kokichi sighed and straightened, looking at the group. “Thank you all for coming out today--and I hope to see you tomorrow!”

There were a few hugs and well wishes, some last second establishing and reaffirming of plans tomorrow, until finally the group of castle dwellers all headed back towards the castle together, plus one Drake.

As they walked, Kaito took Shuichi and Kokichi’s hand and, despite having the longest stride of them, purposefully went a little slower. Leading them to walk at the back of the group, as he watched everyone else with open affection. Lake and Nazumi leading the way, Lake escorting Nazumi, who was still escorting them per her job. Ikuo with Miyako, talking softly to Maki, who was watching the kids dodge and weave around the adults, once again caught up in some impromptu game of tag, the dog barking and joining in excitedly. Drake hurrying over to Lake to once again thank her for the catch, Lake enthusiastically explaining that was just what heroes did, while Aiichi and Hideki seemed to be having some small conversation with the Mentors, Waku and Denji idly discussing between each other breaking off with the group to go get a meal together.

“...this went so well.” Kaito said softly to them. “I know it ended on kind of a chaotic note, but I hope you guys enjoyed that as much as I did.” 

Kokichi watched the whole procession of their friends and family walk in front of them, a soft smile on his face. He had promised himself he wouldn’t be spending the whole day just comparing his two bonding ceremonies, but…compared to kneeling in his backyard, surrounded by a small group of strangers, a very, very new ally, and his father, who he had thought wouldn’t have wanted to be there at all…

This wasn’t even a fraction of everyone Kokichi loved, just people who happened to live in the same place (and Drake). 

Even with the strange threat of being soaked, even with a scare…

“...this has been incredible,” Kokichi said softly, squeezing Kaito’s hand affectionately. “I already feel so lucky to have you two in my life, so to be able to have a ceremony like this…and have it be like this? I’m so happy.”

“It’s… unexpectedly good.” Shuichi admitted softly, glancing over at the mentors, smiling softly, “I never thought much about bonding ceremonies. I’ve never been to one before this. I can’t even remembering playing pretend at it as a kid. So this has been a wholly welcome surprise.”

Kaito snorted a little, an affectionate grin on his face as he whispered, “Duuuude, you never even pretended?”

“We’ve been over this, Kaito, I don’t have much of an imagination.” Shuichi smirked slightly, shrugging. “I imagine you did, then?”

“Hey, see! You’re getting there! Next step is to imagine something that isn’t obviously, undeniably true.” Kaito snickered, bringing up Kokichi and Shuichi’s hands, placing a small kiss at first gently on the center of Kokichi’s bandaged palm, then a firmer one on the back of his pinky, kissing Shuichi’s palm next, though it was unbandaged. “And you bet I did. I was one of those kids bonding all my freaking toys together. Ya know, I think I gave a few housekeepers and even maybe a nanny the wrong idea once?” Kaito recalled, tilting his head slightly as he let their hands fall back down, still holding their hands gently, “I was just trying to pretend to be a priestess, getting a little bit of ‘blood’ to do the ceremony from my toys, but, like, I was young and clumsy and I remember this woman literally gasping in shock as she walked in to my playroom, me, like, stabbing my toys with a fake dagger. Probably thought I was playing at something else, but nah. I just liked the idea of people falling in love and getting bonded and all that… I’m kinda a sap.”

“You know, you playing at doing our greatest love ritual and getting mistaken for playing out murdering your toys feels very ‘you’.” Shuichi mused. “That sounds right.”

“Heeeey… I’m not the one with the ‘murder fetish’,” Kaito teased quietly, nudging Kokichi, “That’s totally our high risk, high adrenaline ‘Kichi here.”

Kaito had mentioned before that he had dreamed about his bonding ceremony before, so…well, it just made sense that he’d play it out as a child too. Kokichi hadn’t been one to play pretend with marriages himself, but he had known enough that kids doing that wasn’t just something in fiction. Kaito gathering up his toys, setting up elaborate ceremonies…

…getting mistaken for playing ritual murder. 

Kokichi snorted, nudging Kaito right back. “Yupp, that’s me. Never once did I ever start crying ‘cause my sister made one of my stuffed animals a rampaging Baxcaliber-type that had to be taken down in a huge monster battle. I am all about high-octane violence.”

“See? I’ve got my husband pegged.” Kaito proudly grinned, “Gonna have to keep up with me, Shuichi. I’ve absolutely got you outpaced in sexy violence antics, Kokichi can’t take his eyes off me.”

“I’ve seen the moments where Kokichi can’t keep his eyes off you.” Shuichi hummed, taking Kaito’s arm and pulling it over Shuichi’s shoulder, closing his eyes as he leaned against him. Content and trusting to let Kaito steer him forward, just taking one step blindly in front of the other as he rested on Kaito’s chest, “Usually it’s when you’re doing something loving. Soft. You really are incredibly attractive, when you’re trying to make sure we’re having a good time.”

“...and then you do the whole ‘big mean grin, low deep voice’ aggression thing, which I personally think makes you look goofy, but I’ll admit, he stares a lot at you then too.” Shuichi huffed, rolling his eyes, “So I’ll just have to bare with both of your weird tastes occasionally, I suppose.”

“You used me as a table.”

“You always bring that up. It was only once.”

“It’s hard to keep my eyes off both of you, when you somehow manage to be the sweetest, most incredible guys in the universe,” Kokichi chirped, claiming Kaito’s arm to hug and snuggle into. They were becoming an impenetrable three-man block on the road, but Kokichi couldn’t care a bit. It was their bonding day, they could cause very mild traffic congestion. 

Humming softly, Kokichi looked over his husbands, his gaze lingering on the contented look on Shuuichi’s face. “...could be more than once. Weren’t we planning on doin’ something similar again?”

Kokichi…wasn’t super sure what the rest of the day would look like. For all that the ceremony had fully consumed his brain, it had only been a couple hours. He did want to make sure Drake was okay, but…there wasn’t anything else particularly pressing to do. Even if he thought to do it, he’d be booed and shooed out of the office in an instant. 

…and they did have a babysitter.

“Hmm?” Shuichi gave Kokichi a mildly startled look… before his face turned a small, smattering of pink, “No… you all wouldn’t want to do that on a special day…”

“In the name of getting laid? Shuichi, handsome, I’d do anything today.” Kaito said, his tone a bit dry, the sincerity in the statement turning his face grave, “I’d get on my hands and knees and beg. You both looked so damn good in your bonding outfits. My heart would break to not get to touch you today.”

“Hmmm… begging, huh…” Shuichi hummed.

Kaito responded with a small, barking laugh at that, pleased at Shuichi’s interest, before sighing as he added in just as quietly at the rest of the conversation, “But my ‘joke’ to Drake earlier was also sincere. Let me make sure I can’t help him out, he’s, like, seriously way too chilly. He was all warm and rosy the last time I helped him, I don’t like the implication of how cold he was.”

“Well, I can’t be anywhere near it, if you do.” Shuichi huffed, looking mildly irritated with himself. “I’ll get us some tea and snacks, meet you both back upstairs.”

“‘Kichi? Wanna see some weird shit?” Kaito grinned, looking down at his husband. 

“I think precisely because it’s a special day it’s worth at least considering,” Kokichi shrugged, a small smirk pulling at his lips faced with Shuuichi’s blush. Considering, because even with Kaito’s willingness, Kokichi would feel bad hinging their intimacy on a condition like that. Either way…Kokichi really wanted to bond with his husbands today. Whatever that turned out to look like. 

But first, yes, Drake. 

Making a mildly sickened expression, Kokichi shook his head. “I might be an extra pair of hands for Shuu-chan, if he takes you up on it. I’ve just…kinda tried not to think about that whole side of things, when it’s come up.”

“...though I might try to talk with my sister,” he said softly, watching her lead the group, talking animatedly with Nazumi. “She’s not a healer, but…well, the guardforce are trained in first aid. And it’d be kinda hard to miss, even if she wasn’t looking specifically…”

Kaito hummed a bit, “Mmm, maybe that’s wise, yeah. I mean, does she believe in stuff like that? When I saw how poor your circulation was, babe, my thoughts never drifted supernatural. My thought was always ‘oooh, brr, chilly’.”

“Perhaps. Mr. Nidai always made the same arguments, growing up. It’s still something I haven’t entirely come to terms with, that his rantings of people dismissing ‘obvious demon shit’ were technically correct.” Shuichi mused, “Still, perhaps for Drake’s sake it’s better we know for certain. You take care of Lake, Kokichi, I’ll get food, Kaito, you go be food. We’ll meet up back in the room after.”

“Man, I’ve got a spot right here too, this little knot here,” Kaito grinned, reaching backwards to tap between his upper right shoulder blade, “That venom would be great there. Little tit for tat~”