Doppio nodded in his little hidden huddle. It was true, he was gay, and loved his boyfriend very much and thought he was super attractive. Hells, Doppio’s body could even light up like a rainbow--it fit. 

Snuggling into Arven’s hug, Doppio sacrificed one of his defense arms to loop around his boyfriend, holding him close as well. “I do, a lot. And I could break it down but…I think at the end of it all, that’s just what makes them kissable.”

“Well, I’m not complaining.” Arven smiled… before laughing, “Would you believe me if I said you also have kissable lips? Like, okay, I know they’re usually chapped all to hells, but I kinda like that? I mean, I’d like it more if we got you some lip balm and hydrated you so your lips wouldn’t crack or sting, but otherwise? The texture’s fun. Reminds me who I’m kissing, like a signature.”

O.O liking flaky skin is a weird flex but alright

“You’ll understand one day when you’re in love, Amaina.” Arven said, patting her head.

OoO Nooooot likely. Senpai can’t GET IT TOGETHER and find love so that leaves me in the lurch too

O.O

OoO and falling in love outside of senpai’s feelings would be weird

O.O

Ooo And maybe impossible?? I dunno

“Nnnngm,” Doppio said, the embarrassment ramping back up. He knew his lips were kinda gross, and he could remember panicking a lot when he first confronted his feelings for Arven about how gross he would be to kiss. He was glad that Arven didn’t mind, because Doppio liked kisses!! But it was something very nnnngm about him. 

“I can’t help it…” he partially whined, partially lamented, “I don’t even know I’m biting them half the time.”

…but, really, with Arven liking his lips, it really wasn’t an issue, and definitely not one a good recipe of balm (an edible one, it’d have to be) wouldn’t ease. So…while it wasn’t exactly a problem…Amaina’s words came more into focus. 

Peeking over at her, Doppio was quiet for a moment before, with a shrug he murmured, “The impossible is possible. You never really know what can happen until it does…right? I’m n-not saying to go out and really try to fall in love separate from your senpai, but…feelings don’t really happen with a plan. …I think you’ll find someone special to you in that way one day, Angioletto. Whether it’s with your senpai or not.”

OoO Yeaaaaaah maybe

O.O

OoO I mean I’d take my shot with Chibi Kaito if he’d agree to look like dungeon prisoner while we make out BUT 

O.O He lives in his husband’s head so it’d probably get awkward and I’d get kicked out

OOO SO I JUST GOTTA BULLY HIM INSTEAD THE TINY NEEEEERD

Arven paused, considering that, “...lives in his husband’s head… Kokichi? Are you saying you want to make out with Kokichi?”

OoO Naaaaah not my type

“But constructs are just parts of the empath who makes them, right? You explained this to me, though I don’t… entirely understand it, sometimes,” Arven admitted, tilting his head, “Chibi Kaito would just be Kokichi.”

OOO YEAH THE SIDE OF HIM COSPLAYING HIS HOT HUSBAND WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME IT’S A DROUGHT OUT HERE

O.O

OoO it gets weird the more developed we get and even I’m like a WHOLE THING because of my P O W E R but no you’re basically right

Doppio squinted a little. Bully someone you…maybe would have feelings for? Was…an odd way to express those feelings. But…well. He didn’t think Kokichi would indulge it if it was actual bullying-bullying. Even for someone else’s feelings, he didn’t seem like the kind of person that would let himself be hurt like that. 

…but it was complicated. 

Sighing, Doppio rubbed a hand down his face with a nod. “It…is. I mean…at this point, it’s kind of…unhelpful? And not even really correct to think of myself as a part of my dad, but…I still sort of am? But…my personal distinction is complicated, and I don’t…really think that it’s just because I have a physical body.”

“Though,” he looked to Amaina, “I’d imagine that not having one just makes those lines of distinction even more complicated sometimes.”

Amaina looked up at Doppio and sighed a bit. Rolling herself into a ball, putting her knees to her chest, she started to roll around the sand, kicking it up into the air a little, becoming a little blur, before she suddenly kicked up into the air. But two Amaina came out when she did, one that looked like herself, and the other clearly wearing a blond, spiky wig and strange clothes that didn’t seem to quite fit her right. 

Amaina often looked like she was wearing a costume, when she pretended to be other things. But this was the first time the costume looked like it wasn’t tailor made for her, the wig needing adjusting on her head and her dress looking too tight, like it was trying to create the illusion of hips, as Amaina stared at her double trying to make it fit properly and never quite succeeding.

O.O

OoO it’s not quite right is it?

O.O

OoO but this isn’t better which is even WEIRDER

She explained, and the other Amaina spun, and suddenly her hair was white, and she was wearing a hospital gown, and her eyes were… too real. Tired and exasperated, uncanny on her little chibi body, as the other Amaina stared back at her.

And out of the white haired Amaina, the one in the blond wig stepped out, and Amaina walked over to them– something she rarely did, walking– placing herself between them as she looked at one and the other, before looking down at herself…before she shrugged somewhat helplessly.

OoO Both aren’t right… but they don’t feel wrong either. 

O.O

OoO if she called me back into herself, I’d lose myself and be her again. And a part of me is okay with that. A part of me longs for it.

O.O

OoO But a part of me gets sad at the thought too, and I don’t know if that sadness comes from her, or from me

O.O

OoO I think we’d both miss me is what it’d boil down to

“...Does it help that to me, you just seem like Amaina? And you seem like a whole person to me?” Arven asked.

OOO NAAAAAH 

OoO it’s not really a validation thing it’s just me grappling with my own concept of reality it’s ya know personal

OvO thanks though

‘Not quite right’ was…right. Doppio could only assume the blond and white-haired…versions? Were…the people that had made Amaina. Senpai and…maybe also Senpai, considering Amaina’s vague disregard for clearly differentiating people. And maybe for them, differentiating just didn’t matter anyway. And differentiating them from Amaina herself was…not quite right. 

But neither was completely regarding them as wholly ‘other’. To Doppio, Amaina was…Amaina. The blue-haired one in the middle. The blue-haired girl that looked an awful lot like the white-haired girl, but less tired, that he’d seen for a fraction of a moment in a time that never happened. The form that he’d seen for longer, when Amaina had decided to join in on the physical world in the best way she could. 

Amaina was Amaina…but Amaina was also those people. 

Complicated. 

Doppio’s gaze softened. “I’d miss you too. Even if I met your senpai…it wouldn’t be the same, so…that kinda proves that you’re you, at least trying to “logic” it, or…something, to myself.” He huffed a small laugh. “...reality’s hard.”

“Well, it’s still easy, for me,” Arven said, holding Doppio close and grabbing Amaina with a little swoop of his hand, pulling her onto his lap as he said, “You’re really my boyfriend, and you’re really my friend. And that’s real to me.”

OoO YEAAAH YEAH 

OoO well at least one of us has it figured out

OOO A CUTE TUSH AND A FIRM GRASP OF REALITY WHY DO YOU GET ALL THE GOOD STUFF??

“I’m just cool like that,” Arven smirked.

“You are very cool,” Doppio hummed in agreement, snuggling closer to Arven and reaching over to pat Amaina’s head. Happy and content to sit on the beach with people he loved. 

-

Normally Kiba would be feeling fine by now, two days out, but he was still so tired. A sort of restless tiredness that, he’d ardently argue if he was caught, made it impossible to sit through classes without feeling like he was going to lose his mind. 

Which…was also the sort of feeling he got when he forgot to take his amphetamine, and that was…kind of applicable, but also very much not his fault. But! In a very responsible move to not totally disrupt class groaning and trying to keep himself from ripping the desks apart, Kiba was taking a break. 

Currently, that looked like laying in the grass in a park farther away from Wolfrun than he usually went during breaks or lunch period, hoping not to run into any narcs, and laying out in the cold sun, enjoying the light while Akemaru and Akamaru played around with a soft frisbee that Kiba occasionally tossed when one of the dogs brought it his way. 

Arven didn’t have a reason, beyond just not feeling it that day.

It happened like that, sometimes. It was just hard to be indoors, he just felt… bored. And listless. He needed to get up and stretch his legs and be outdoors a bit, and when he did, he usually felt a lot better. He wasn’t a big nature nut just because he liked plants, though that was a big part of it. He was just around them all the time, just needing to be outside. 

Arven had never really noticed that these idle restless moments tended to happen most consistently around certain times of the month. Arven understood hormones a bit, but as an estrogen problem he had never really thought about how monthly hormones might affect him, beyond hearing once or twice that non-estrogen systems also had monthly cycles in their bodies. If he had ever paid attention to those parts of health class, he’d have probably chalked it up to hormones and never thought about it again.

He’d have been… basically right, really. Just not right for the reasons he’d assume.

But he had never really made that connection and so for him this was just another random listless moment, and he had never been all that good at holding himself back from his desire to just wander out. So, out he was, heading to a very dog-friendly park to let Chief run around and get his own energy out. 

Which Chief did do, running off, to Arven’s surprise. “Chief? Chief– oh.” 

Arven snickered as Chief bounded over to two familiar dogs, greeting them with a little bark, before the circle of butt sniffing began. 

Akamaru, Akemaru! Lucky me, to have run into you at the park! Chief greeted, panting happily.

Gramps! Akemaru yipped excitedly, practically bouncing over to the older dog, while Akamaru sniffed happily at their new friend. What a lovely coincidence, Chief. Our boy had brought along The Disk today, would you like to play with us? Despite his lethargy, Kiba is more than willing to reset each round with a throw. 

Kiba did some sniffling of his own, actually registering the scent before recognizing Arven’s voice over the way. He half pushed himself up, indeed seeing Arven and Chief with pleasant surprise, before letting out a laugh and waving to Arven. “Hey! Well, well, look at the bad boy we have out here--shouldn’t you be in class?” Kiba teased, grinning in a friendly manner…though it was a little apparent how tired he looked.

Ah, yes, a good Disk! I am certain my boy would hoist some of the burden himself as well, as your boy smells a bit tired, Chief noted, barking at Arven a few times.

“Yeah, yeah, you want me to throw the frisbee? Well, that’s if Akemaru lets me have it. Can I have it, boy? Aw, good bow, alright… go get it!” Arven said, throwing it and watching all three dogs bound after it. 

Sitting down next to Kiba with a little huff, Arven shrugged. “Never claimed to be a prim and proper student. Wasn’t feeling it. What about you? They realize you’re a lost cause and kick you out?”

Kiba chuckled a bit, watching the dogs dash off, before he sighed, relaxing back on his elbows. “Almost got it spot on--school administration finally got over their pride and admitted that I’m just so brilliant there’s nothing left any of the teachers can teach me. Got my diploma yesterday and everything, and now I’m just biding my time through the rest of the term~”

Snorting, Kiba ducked himself into his shoulders for a kind of shrug before grinning tiredly at Arven. “Wasn’t feeling it either--kinda feel like I want to sleep through every class while also doin’ laps to knock every piece of furniture over, you know? So I figured it’d help everyone out to peace out for a while.”

He let out a deep sigh, moving his arms out to flop back on the ground. “My baby cousins stayed over an extra day--think my aunties were getting some plumbing thing fixed at their place, I wasn’t really paying attention. And since I’m the next oldest, I end up babysitting. I…basically haven’t slept in two days,” Kiba chuckled a little desperately. 

Sure, he did get some sleep on full moons, the pack didn’t end up galavanting for the whole night. But he wouldn’t exactly call it restful, and more like…just enough of something to keep him from losing his mind the next day. Enough to be unconscious through the worst aches and pains so it was just a little annoying by the time he woke up. 

So adding in that to taking care of his cousins for another day meant…Kiba was a little more AAAAA than usual. 

“Ah, I should have guessed. You’ll be running that school before too long,” Arven smirked, taking off his boots and digging his toes into the grass, just wanting to feel the cool against his skin, “Ooooooh, cousin babysitting duties. What, do the cousins just not sleep? How hard can babies be to look after; I see the princess around all the time and she mostly just sits around and gurgles.”

She did not mostly just sit around and gurgle, these days. Tummy time had led to crawling time. Not long or far, but she had managed to get as far as a foot once and now Shuichi and Kaito kept going back and forth between wanting to over baby-proof the room (it had already been baby-proofed, but now both men had been staring at the wooden desk legs with nervous, appraising stares) and cheering Miyako on alongside Kokichi, who was thrilled, and was already talking about her being big enough for the baby playpark soon.

But when Arven saw her, she was usually attached to somebody’s chest, so yeah, she just sat there and gurgled and occasionally kicked her legs a lot. 

Kiba laughed, peeking up at Arven and nodding approvingly. It was still pretty cold despite the sun, but…man, that cold just felt good? And, no, it wasn’t just because Kiba was a furnace of a guy. Shifting a little, he pushed up the back of his jacket and shirt a bit, sighing at the cool, slightly damp grass against his lower back. 

“Not actually baby-baby. They turned 8 a little while ago; twins. And, uh, kinda, they don’t sleep,” he snorted, stretching his arms over his head. “Like, little kids do sleep, but it’s gotta be some sort of paradox or somethin’, ‘cause I was running after them the entire time. I mean, you prolly get it, right, remembering being that age?” Kiba still didn’t really think he fit any kind of criteria of sitting still, but he had been a wild little kid, and Silkie and Velouria were much the same. 

Maybe it was a stereotype, but…werewolf shit, man. 

“Ah,” Arven nodded like that made more sense, “Yeah, there’s a gaggle of 9- and 10-year-olds at the castle too, their energy is pretty endless. They like to just poke at things, are constantly making games, that sort of thing.”

“I mean, me at their age was going through a thing, so I wasn’t running around and playing a lot,” Arven admitted, “But childhood in general? Yeah, my energy to go out and explore the woods and stuff was pretty limitless. I could be out for days at a time and it’d only occur to me that I should head back to make sure the house was still there. I don’t know if I could manage that now, I usually want a nap every few hours now. Probably all that growth spurt stuff draining my energy. A part of me could, like, sleep for the next two days straight and feel pretty okay about it.” Arven admitted, “...and I’m always hungry. Have you gotten that? Like, food is always on the back of my mind, I could eat a whole chicken by myself. Especially right now.”

“Exactly,” Kiba nodded, closing his eyes. “They’re little menaces, too. Silkie always wants to play around, and while Vel is more chill…they’re twins, man, got that connection, so she enables her sister. Akamaru, Akemaru, and I had to go full tracking mode this morning to make sure the little jerks didn’t steal more of my stuff, just to make me come over and pull me into another game. I’m lucky I figured out not to keep anything, like, dangerous in my room ages ago, otherwise Aunt Sierra would be furious and somehow convince my mom that it was my fault for exposing the twins to shit.”

Opening his eyes, he gave Arven a curious look, wondering what it was that Arven was going through…but he didn’t think they were really close enough to ask, yet. It’d come up, or it wouldn’t, but Kiba wasn’t going to force Arven into explaining anything he didn’t want to. 

There were plenty of other things to talk about anyway. 

“Uuuuuuuuugh, don’t even mention it!” Kiba groaned, stretching and rolling onto his stomach. “Dude, you’re making me starving! It’s like breakfast only tides you over for a blink, then it’s longing for lunch, right? School’s pretty open about letting people bring snacks to class as long as they’re not disturbing other people, but I feel like I’d just eat all day if I could. I better be getting a hell of a growth spurt out of this!”

…maybe it was exaggerating a little, because it was so close to the full moon, but Kiba really was hungry all the time. Man…dinner that night had been so good… Kiba loved moon pack get-togethers anyway, even if his family was a little annoying sometimes, but Sixth, the damn feasts that the Inuzuka pack put together for full moons were events in itself. 

Involuntarily, Kiba whined a little, drooling as his expression went dreamy and longing at the thought of food. 

Arven sighed, reaching over and patting Kiba’s head mindlessly, an impulse reaction to hearing Chief whine… before snorting, taking his hand back. “My bad, my bad, the drawback of living with a dog my whole life. Pats stop feeling weird. Hey, I’ve got some coin on me. Let’s go get something to eat. I’d offer to cook something, but eh, I’m craving really big portions, might as well get something ready made.”

Kiba blinked, looking a little surprised but pleased. It could be a little embarrassing at times, but he did think his sister was onto something when she joked that the discovery of the first werewolves that dogs could pet other dogs was the greatest quality of life jump in history. 

“No worries, man, I get it,” Kiba laughed, before popping himself up onto his feet, giving a little jump to right his clothes and body and to pump his fists in the air. “But you’re really speaking my language! We’re both out and about; why not?! Big portions, though, hmmm…”

Crossing his arms as he thought about it, Kiba called for the dogs before giving Arven a fanged grin. “...you ever take on the premium meat bowl challenge at Zee’s?”

Arven raised an eyebrow…

-

Two massive bowls were placed down in front of Arven and Kiba, Arven whistling low… before balking as more, smaller side bowls were placed around them. “What!? Why the heck would we need sides with this!?”

The cook chuckled, shaking their head, before water was given to them last. “Good luck with the challenge. Finish everything? It’s free.”

“We’re gonna die, man,” Arven said seriously, staring at the bowl, “We will explode.”

“Maybe you will,” Kiba snorted, already drooling. Ohhh, the meat looked like it had just been finished, the glaze almost dripping off in thick droplets down into the trove of rice and honey-soy jammy onions beneath… He wasn’t even embarrassed by the way his stomach eagerly growled. 

Though he did give Arven a grin over his giant bowl. “Still, it’s not, like, fuck you expensive if you need to take some home. And it’d be a great snack later, right?” Kiba’s grin became more teasing. “For your delicate little stomach. Maybe even two snacks.”

But he couldn’t hold himself back much longer, and Kiba vigorously took up a set of chopsticks and a more reasonably sized portion bowl, digging into the meat bowl and scooping up as much rice and onions he could with a pork slice that, uh, didn’t threaten to topple the whole arrangement. Stuffing half of it in his mouth, Kiba groaned happily, the impression of tail-wagging and ears wiggling strong with his pleasure. 

“Delicate little stomach?” Arven said, looking between the two bowls as he suddenly asked, “Oh, is that half yours? Oh, geez, I thought alllll of this was mine, but only half? Pff, easy!” 

And, feeling suitably challenged, Arven dug into his bowl, tipping his bowl and shuffling it into his mouth.

At their feet, the dogs were eating their dog food, though Chief glanced up, sniffing a bit. What he has smells good. I think I shall try some, he informed the other two, before poking his head up between Arven’s legs, pointedly planting his paws on Arven. 

Treats?

Arven glanced down at Chief, looking around suspiciously, before subtly passing Chief one of the meat slices. “Now lay back down, ol’ man.”

Chief laid down, licking his chops. Appeased.

Kiba snorted, glad Arven was getting into the spirit. In all honesty, Kiba had only tried the premium meat bowl challenge a few times…and he’d never finished it. He always got close, but as tempting as it was to get a free meal, the warning cramps from his stomach always pushed him to make the smart decision. Really adhering to the wisdom that a free meal you threw up wasn’t actually much of a meal. The only person Kiba actually knew that had beaten the challenge was Chouji, but Kiba was convinced he was a black hole. 

However, still feeling the effects of a full moon? Kiba might actually do it this time. 

…maybe with a little help that was technically cheating, but Kiba wasn’t a monster. “Aw, c’mon, you really gotta start that?” he laughed, looking around as well before looking down at the twin puppy eyes sent his way from under the table. “Guys…”

Carefully scraping off most of the glaze and making sure there were no onions, green or jammy, stuck to the pieces, Kiba snuck a strip and a half to Akamaru and Akemaru respectively, Akamaru ‘wooo’ing thankfully before settling under the table to discuss the finer tasting notes with Chief. 

“Not that I can blame ‘em, really,” Kiba shrugged, swallowing down another delicious mouthful. “I dunno how they do it, but it’s more than just the spectacle that keeps you eatin’, you know? Each bite is incredible and I keep just wanting more!” Even if he did take flavor breaks every once in a while. 

Going towards one of the side dishes, Kiba hummed happily, collecting some sauce in his bowl with extra rice. “This is some kind of stewed spicy tofu? Should be up to your tofu crown standards,” he winked playfully. 

Arven smirked, taking in a few tofu pieces and gulping them down as he said, “Hah, joke’s on you, I’ve got someone who loves the fact that I know what good tofu tastes like! …and oh, yeah, this is great!” Arven said, eyes popping in surprise a bit, nomming a few more down, before squinting at the chefs. “Think they’d give me the recipe?”

“Maybe if you worked in the kitchens a bit,” the chef called back with a smirk, “In-house secret!”

It wasn’t, but the chef liked to try to coax new potential chefs into the kitchens. Most work was a work of passion, in Dicea, so there was always a competition to entice new young people into your field, if you didn’t want your field to be struggling for labor in the next generation. Not that cooking usually lacked new interest, but the chef always hoped that his specific type of cooking wouldn’t dwindle down too much to niche interest. Always good to sow interest.

Though, Arven just hummed, tilting his head. “Mmmm, maybe in the summer. School’s a lot right now. Especially with someone insisting I actually do the work these days. It’s exhausting, it’s no wonder I need to take the occasional day off,” Arven sighed, gulping down a few more bites. 

“Hey, I’m not hating!” Kiba laughed, “I’m just right that nothing beats a perfect piece of meat in a noodle soup dish! Tofu has its own strengths…that’s just not that. Better being soaked in a spicy broth, for instance.” 

It was tempting to figure out the recipe for this one, getting a job at the restaurant included, but Kiba didn’t really think he’d have the patience for it. Being surrounded by delicious food for hours and not being able to eat it?! Actually torturous--at least when he cooked at home he could eat as many scraps as he wanted, and then still have a delicious meal at the end. 

…o-or a pretty good meal. Maybe it’d get better if he put more time into it, but Kiba found he could never quite get down that oomph quality restaurant food had. His stuff was good enough that his mom and sister were grateful on the nights they actually managed to eat together, and he regularly got comments from the extended family about how good his cooking had gotten, but Kiba knew that his food was good mostly because it just didn’t taste horrible, and it was food. And with a family of big eaters, that was enough for high praise. 

Sighing, Kiba nodded knowingly. “I feel you, man. I don’t know how the college-types do it; even four hours of classes a day makes me feel like my brain’s melting. Ah, though,” he gave Arven a sympathetic look, “You got one of those tight-wad teachers that give like an hour and a half of homework a day? I’ve heard horror stories, dude.”

“Nooo, not really, they sort of eased out of that after elementary school. Apparently that age-range is best suited for just memorizing the basics, so they just shove alllll the basics at ya. I’ve never had as much mandatory homework as I had during elementary school.” Arven said, “No, it’s just these big projects, mostly, every class has like… some sort of ‘do it yourself’ thing they want you to do, on top of the big project for the year. You don’t have to get it all done, but it’s pretty common knowledge that if you ignore the projects the different subjects give you by this time, you’re basically just not planning to learn those subjects anymore.”

“Which, I don’t know, is kind of fine? I feel like I could never do another math problem again and nothing would change,” Arven said, “But my ‘weird uncle’ is really uptight about it. I think he’s worried if I don’t give school my all, my life’s gonna fall apart or something. I mean, he’s from Luminary, that was probably true there, you know? So he gets real pokey about it.”

“What about you guys?” Arven asked, “What’s it like at your school?”

Kiba nodded in agreement, though there was a slight twitch of his nose. Little kids were sponges for information…but his attention skills had been even worse in elementary school. Kiba was grateful for how things shook out, able to look back now--getting placed in tutoring with Miss Kurenai let him get to know Shino and Hinata, and gave him a lot of insight and skills Kiba would be a completely different person without--but…it had really been rough for a while there. 

“I mean, as someone who’s gotten poked about school a lot too?” Kiba snorted, mixing in the soft yolk of his egg with rice, and tearing up a meat strip to eat with it, “I…kinda get it? We’re already expected to go to school now, so might as well take advantage to just learn everything. People end up changing careers a lot in life, let alone hobbies ‘n shit, so it’s just easier to already have a basis of knowledge on stuff from the years we’re already in school anyway, than have to start from scratch goin’ back to college later, or taking training courses. And by learning stuff now, you can kinda figure out what you want sooner, so it ends up being less time, like…”

Kiba paused, chewing a smaller bite as he thought. “...caught in aimless ennui in life, yeah? Skip the super boring shit by doing the sorta annoying shit first.”

He half-shrugged. “Kinda the same at my school--getting to mostly self-directed stuff at this point, though we’ve still got mandatories. I am…so close to finishing my mandatory math,” Kiba groaned, “I have stat literacy this term and I am sick of looking at graphs.”

…though, uh. There was a lot of voluntary math he still had to. …p-potentially take. Maybe. Probably. 

“I guess so. Like, don’t get me wrong, I see the logic, it’s just…” Arven shrugged, tapping his chopsticks against his bowl in a little rhythm, “I guess a part of me has always known what my future’s gonna look like? And foraging doesn’t need a lot of geometry… though, admittedly, chemistry does, and there is a lot of chemistry in what I do.”

Arven glanced around, before leaning in and whispering to Kiba, “You know what will help our appetites? Ever have any edibles?”

“Fair,” Kiba chuckled, taking some pickled cabbage from one of the side dishes. “I mean, I have to imagine the whole identity thing is rough if they end up doin’ something different, but I kinda envy you--people who’re dead set on their futures. Feels like it’s just a few meetings with your counselors to figure out exactly the classes you need to take to get the best base for whatcha want, then bam! You’re right on track. Could be even less fuss if you’re taking over a family business or somethin’.”

“Foraging and chemistry, though?” Kiba hummed with interest. “You lookin’ to be an herbalist or something? That’s super cool.”

Though, Kiba blinked in surprise at the, uh, other kind of herby thing Arven brought up, before he grinned sheepishly, looking a little embarrassed. “Nah, actually. Messes with my meds, and…I’ve just never been offered, I guess. Never came up.” 

Arven smiled lightly. “Well, now you can say you haven’t done it because you chose not to do it, rather than just because you’ve never had a chance to. I’m assuming you’re saying no, if it’s gonna mess with your meds.”

“Can I ask what you’re taking?” Arven asked, gulping down some rice, “Not because I want to know what they’re treating, more because I have a fascination for medical properties. There’s a lot of stuff I can’t recreate at home and wouldn’t want to, but I do like knowing how I could and what they’d do.”

Kiba felt kind of lame saying no…but his mom and sister would be furious with him if he let someone pressure him into taking recreational drugs. Not because they were against weed or anything, but Tsune had raised him to not be cowed by the opinions of others. And Hana had made it very clear that if he was curious about anything to at the very least not take his meds that day, if not more preferably talk with his healer about the safest way to go about it. 

But it felt a little better to see Arven not making much of a deal of it at all. 

“Uh, yeah,” Kiba said, letting out a small breath with tension he wasn’t really aware he’d been holding. “I take amphetamine. From what I get, it’s not like smokin’ a joint would put me in the hospital, but more like…” Kiba squinted a little. “...like they’d kinda cancel each other out? So it’d be more likely I just get the side effect from both, and none of the, like, good stuff…I think. It’s kind of the same with alcohol.”

Though, uh…he’d been warned off trying booze for the first time alone or with same-aged friends for a different reason. Something about accelerated metabolisms making it so, with a werewolf’s usual vigor for food and drinks, by the time they actually felt anything, they would’ve probably had enough to drink to immediately send them out. The kind of tolerance and pacing needed was a special skill, apparently. 

“Yeah, that sounds like a bummer,” Arven agreed, turning amphetamine over in his head. “That’s ephedra and catha edulis. They grow them in Othain, they’re really difficult to grow outside of that region, almost impossible. Always seems like the rarest plants have the most potent properties, doesn’t it?” he asked, like Kiba would know. “There’s some pretty tight import sanctions on those plants too, only certain healers are allowed to order them. Probably specifically for your type of medication.”

Arven said this with a warm, pleased smile. Reciting that information with the casual enthusiasm of a passionist. It was hard to get into plants without becoming fascinated with their medicinal properties. It was one of the most fascinating things they did.

Kiba watched Arven in fascination as he just casually rolled off, like…pharmaceutical entries like he was talking about the weather. Though, maybe someone talking about the weather when it was really nice after a few crappy days and they were excited to get back out into the sun. Casual and passionate and…really intelligent. 

“Huh, really?” Kiba hummed after a moment, chewing through some meat. “I…guess I did find a new healer when I got diagnosed, so that’s kinda ‘sanction’y. I’ve never really noticed the scarcity, though. I was kinda relieved, actually, when I got my ADHD diagnosis ‘cause everyone made it feel really…normal?”

Kiba shrugged a little, too focused on the new information to realize he’d given Arven what he was taking the meds for anyway. “Like, other than going to a new healer, which was ages ago, it wasn’t trouble at all getting a prescription. I guess the people making the plant orders are really good at managing the demand ‘n stuff.”

“I imagine it was a priority, at some point, to figure it out,” Arven mused, though it was pure musing, the politics around it far more vague to him. “I’d guess if you realize literally one country has the perfect environment to grow the crops, and those crops end up being essential medicine? You better make sure you can get access to plenty of it. So why wouldn’t they make that a priority. The Ouma family knows what’s important,” Arven said, his eyes shining a bit at that last part.

…then Arven burped, before blushing, looking a little embarrassed. “Sorry, getting a bit full. Clearing space.”

“Right!” Kiba said confidently, nodding. “It’d be ridiculous if stuff people needed to live was super limited. Though, uh,” he laughed sheepishly, “saying I need it to live is exaggerating a liiiittle. Still ain’t a luxury thing, but I can still get by without it. Just don’t expect me to get anything done without triple the time.” And…maybe a lot of frustration, with a worse end product…but only sometimes. 

Laughing a bit at Arven’s burp, Kiba waved him off. “No problem, I get it. Hmmmm, it looks like you’re maybe halfway… Not bad, not bad for your first time. I’m sure you’ll really enjoy these leftovers.”

“Shut uuuuup, like you’re doing any better.” Arven scoffed, ignoring pointedly that Kiba was absolutely ahead of him. He had two dogs to sneak treats to! How could Arven compete!?

“...Do you find it tough, having a dog and a puppy?” Arven asked, glancing down at the dogs at Kiba’s feet, “Puppies are so much work, and I just never seriously considered getting one when I needed to focus on Chief so much. Felt unfair to have a puppy competing with a sick dog for attention. But now Chief is well and my situation is… both more and less stable? But in a way where I feel like if I don’t get a puppy now, it might be harder later?”

Arven thought maybe he needed any future potential parents to know Arven was coming with two dogs… potentially. If Arven followed through on this thought, as he said, “Would you recommend it? Or can you just manage because you’re cool dog ninjas?” 

“Well, that’s a lot of it,” Kiba laughed, before humming thoughtfully, chewing through a mouthful for a moment. “It is tough, I won’t lie. Tough in a way that makes me really excited to get stronger and smarter, but I don’t think taking care of a living being is ever something that’s easy. But, in a lot of ways, I do have it easy.”

“For one, I’m lucky Akamaru and Akemaru get along so well,” Kiba chuckled, giving a fond peek under the table, “And that Akamaru really took to being a mentor. We’re really raising Akemaru together…and that all three of us are being raised by the whole family, yeah, yeah.” Kiba rolled his eyes. “And for another, I mean…”

Kiba snorted, giving Arven a smirk and a shrug. “My mom breeds and trains inuken professionally? Taking care of our partners is her whole life’s passion, so you could say I have a pretty good resource for help. Like, sure I raised Akamaru from a puppy when I was a kid too, but realistically it was my mom making sure that we grew up to be able to take care of each other. And I grew up around our family’s dogs, so there’s always kinda been some combination of dogs of all ages around.”

“Really, I feel like I’m responsible enough to care for Akemaru because I know I have the best community system around me there is. I never have to worry about him or Akamaru not bein’ alright if I get sick or somethin’, because there’s always like five people I can ask to dog sit, and if I ever have questions about training I can ask my mom, and if I notice one of them getting run down, my sister’s a vet and thankfully she doesn’t charge a consultation fee to take a look while she’s lounging on the couch,” Kiba laughed. 

“Packs are stronger together,” he nodded with confidence, “So…if you feel like you have a strong enough foundation to add another piece to it, I’d say go for it! …but I do know I’m speaking from a pretty damn high place of privilege.” 

Arven had lit up, happily listening to Kiba explain, impressed and entertained… before Kiba’s final note left something uncertain and… a little embarrassed in Arven. Looking away and packing in a few more bites of rice, using it to give himself a moment before clearing his throat. “Well, it’s something to think about. I know Doppio likes dogs, so…”

But Doppio by himself was not exactly a pack, or a strong foundation, just by being, well, a single person. And even if Arven had a house, he was living basically in a single room in the castle, which Doppio and Chief shared with him. There wasn’t a lot of space, and while Tim had managed to start raising a puppy in similar conditions…

…well… Tim had a family. And Arven, as much as he liked to pretend with Kaito, sometimes, even if privately to himself… just didn’t.

“...do you want to get dessert after this?” Arven asked.

“He really does,” Kiba laughed a little more softly, picking up on the change of mood in his friend, but not exactly knowing what it was. “And getting a puppy is definitely something to think about for a while, even if you feel like you have a timer. I basically spent three months doin’ nothing but school and free labor for my mom working with inuken before she started considering having me raise Akemaru. A life isn’t something to decide on lightly.”

“Though, if you do get a new puppy, you can count on me to help dog sit!” Kiba grinned brightly. “Maybe even give you the keys to a few secret tricks, too. Aw, even if they’re younger, it’d be awesome introducing Akemaru to another puppy closer to his age. It can be tense, but done right, socializing your dog is one of the most fun pieces to do.”

They may not be the same pack, but Kiba really liked Arven. Maybe one day they could be, and packs always helped each other out. 

Kiba blinked, a bubble of a sound in his throat as he startled in surprise at Arven’s suggestion, before laughing loudly. “HA! You know, let’s do it! Anything you’re in the mood for?”

“Mmmm, ice cream? I feel like ice cream would still physically fit inside of me,” Arven grinned, “Because you know what? I’m absolutely bringing home leftovers. I won’t be able to finish this, this is madness. Maybe if it didn’t have the sides? The sides are sadistic.”

“Nooot inaccurate,” the chef snorted. 

“Ice cream in mid-fall, eh? I like your style,” Kiba laughed, before nodding sagely. “A true man of wisdom, I respect it.”

…but even saying that, Kiba peeked an eye open. Before lifting his bowl and brandishing his chopsticks almost menacingly, a gleam in his eyes as his tongue and fangs poked out of his mouth. “...okay, but watch how much I can get down.”

“You’re gonna die, dude. Don’t worry, I’ll make your dogs treats at your funeral,” Arven snickered, sneaking Chief another treat, the dog cheerily smacking his chops, “Alright, let’s see what you can do.”

-

By some chance, they ended up back at the park, and once again Kiba was laid out on the ground. This time, however, he was half huddled on his side, poking his tongue into a small tray-cup-cone of strawberry ice cream every now and then when he wasn’t groaning and hiccuping. Both his and Arven’s leftovers carefully tied up in bags next to them. 

“Uuuuuugh, dude, why did you let me do that?” Kiba groaned, stifling a hiccuping burp. “I’ve never finished the premium challenge, why’d we think that’d change today?”

“You were just so confident about it,” Arven snickered, twisting the hot fudge around his ice cream, humming as he sipped at it, “Who was I to stop greatness in its tracks?”

“So true… You’re the kind of guy that makes other people truly shine,” Kiba nodded, before turning into his elbow for a moment. And yet…another tongue dip into his ice cream. 

Though, when he settled again, he gave Arven a mildly curious look. Sure, food issues weren’t across the board, but… “So, you a big chocolate fan?”

“Hmm?” Arven hummed, glancing down at his ice cream, “Mmmm yeah? I mean, it’s not my favorite, but warm fudge on a cold day like this? It’s great! Do you want to try it?”

Kiba blanched, grimacing. “Thanks but no thanks, dude. Chocolate messes me up. I’m already suffering from my hubris, but in a little while this’ll just be nice--chocolate will destroy me for, like…today and tomorrow.”

Arven snorted, nodding. “Yeah, it gives me the runs, I’ll admit. But I just really like it, so I just live with it. I’m not really sure why, I don’t think I’m lactose intolerant? It’s just chocolate, completely messes with me.”

Arven looked up into the sky, licking his spoon a bit. “...any part of you that likes chess? I think I’m a ‘chess’ guy. It’s a whole thing. I told you about the pokemon thing, right? You think you’d wanna try it when it’s finished and really ready to play?”

Kiba chuckled a bit before he had to turn his head, smothering hiccups. “I’m not sure if you’re braver than me, or crueler to your insides. Chocolate’s tasty, sure, but I’ve never found it worth what it does to me. I’ll wish luck to your boyfriend for what it’ll do to you today.”

“Eh, I’ve never really tried it out--I get a little too restless for most long board games unless I’m sick. But your pokemon thing does sound badass as all get out,” Kiba grinned. “Especially with that cool fire dog you were telling me about? Fifth yeah, dude, I’d love to give it a go.”

He grinned, baring his fangs a little. “Just be prepared for some noob to end up embarrassin’ ya.”

“Cool, that’ll be fun. I can’t wait to teach you how to play so I can destroy ya,” Arven smirked, leaning back with a sigh, staring at the sky, “...okay, is ‘Fifth’ a person? I hear you say that all the time, you say it like ‘fuck’. What is it, is it a slur?”

Kiba snorted out a startled laugh, pushing himself up…before quickly stopping half way. Ugh, too full… “No, it’s not a slur, wow dude, I wouldn’t use something like that so casually… Nah, it’s like…religious stuff?” 

Squinting his eyes a little, Kiba shrugged slightly. “I dunno, it’s not like I’ve really ever gone to a temple or anything. But I grew up in it enough that it’s just how I talk, I guess. It’s uhhh…” Kiba scratched his ear a little. “Like, the six disciples of The Ram, or somethin’ like that. But how I heard it growing up, the Fifth and Sixth were the coolest and most important, so that’s why ya…or, I guess I use ‘em as swears or… Whatever the term is for emphasizing stuff. I dunno, I’d have to ask around for anyone who knows the specifics ‘n shit.”

“Neat,” Arven said sincerely, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, “I’m not religious myself, but I’ve been hearing a lot about religion lately. It’s still not for me, but it’s kind of neat hearing the way you guys talk about it. It really gets into your language.”

Arven suddenly lit up, before asking, “Have you seen the shrine at the castle? I only ask because it’s actually really pretty, and it’s usually empty. We should hang out in there sometime, let the dogs watch the fish. Last time I was in there, Chief was fascinated by them.”

“To be honest, I don’t really get it either,” Kiba shrugged with a small grin. “I guess it does still surround me, but I don’t feel religious, you know? I don’t really know if I believe that a bunch of crazy powerful folks just…created everything, and then we gotta be thankful for it for the rest of time. I mean, people are creating things all the time right now, and I think that’s a little more important to be grateful for, and contribute towards. We wouldn’t be here right now without our ancestors, sure, but their world was way different from what ours looks like now. Just focusin’ on the here and now seems like the best way to live to me, at least.”

Kiba raised his eyebrows before shaking his head. “I haven’t--haven’t spent a ton of time at the castle in general, actually. Uh…” He chuckled sheepishly. “The fish there aren’t from, like, an open pond, are they? I’d have to keep a closer eye on Akamaru, the dang show off.”

Arven’s eye lit up at that. “Akamaru can fish? We should do that! That’d be fun too!”

Arven suddenly laughed, eating some more ice cream as he said, “Sorry, sorry, I don’t mean to be all over the place. I’m just in a good mood. I can do that sometimes, just get, like, I don’t know… too cheery? Or maybe too obnoxiously cheery. At least lately, anyway. This has been fun.”

Kiba puffed up with pride, looking over to where the dogs were piled over each other, taking an after-snack snooze. Ah, way to make him jealous, guys… “Fifth yeah he can! It’s incredible to watch, really, he just,” Kiba propped himself up a little more, getting an intense (hunting) look on his face before quickly jabbing a hand down, his fingers snapping like a pantomime of a muzzle, “Quick as lightning! …and then I gotta make sure he doesn’t just eat the thing right away. Need to make sure it’s not the kind of fish that’d make him sick.”

“I’ve tried to learn from him, but I’d got a ways to go,” Kiba laughed through a sigh, before easily waving Arven off. “You’re all good, man. Good energy brings good vibes all around. Yeah, I’d love to go fishing with you sometime, and come see the castle shrine.”

A little more sheepishly, though completely sincere, Kiba met Arven’s eye with a bright smile. “You’re a cool guy, I like hanging out with you. And…” It wasn’t really hesitation. More like Kiba was just thinking of it in the moment, though it wasn’t exactly an impulsive thought. “Hey, you should come over to my place sometime too. I’ll warn ya, my family likes to just drop in whenever, but if they do, that just means more dogs to meet. That sweeten the pot at all?”

It wasn’t like his mom was strict about inviting friends over--kind of the opposite, really. There were countless mornings Kiba would wake up to find Hinata sitting in his dining room, already having breakfast. But…the first time a friend was invited over?

People you could trust were invaluable. And a home was a safe place for the pack. You didn’t bring someone into the home unless you could trust them. 

But while Kiba had only met Arven recently? He trusted him, and he had a feeling the rest of his family would too. 

Arven chuckled, scratching at his cheek. He was glad he didn’t annoy Kiba. Sometimes he got the sense he was a little much for Doppio, when he got like this. Not that his boyfriend had ever said anything, not really, but he just tended to get a little more closed off, the more Arven got loud or, well, obnoxious. Arven supposed it was just A Lot.

Though, being invited over? “A house full of dogs? Yeah, that’s awesome! Though, I gotta ask, not to be That Guy who can’t go anywhere without his partner, but? If Doppio wanted to come too…?”

“Absolutely!” Kiba laughed brightly. “If I’m inviting you, and he’s your guy, then he’s my guy too.” Kiba paused before scrunching his nose and amending, “...like, as a guest, not romantically. You get it.”

“But I get the feeling the extended Inuzuka family greeting will definitely be a bonus for Doppio. Akamaru was in a particularly cuddly mood after we all hung out at the tournament and I’m positive that it was because your boyfriend is a pro-dog petter.” Kiba’s eyes gleamed as a thought occurred to him. “Aw, I bet he’d adore Pakkun, my uncle Kory’s dog. Biggest smart-ass of a dog I’ve ever met, but an absolute cutie.”

“Doppio is an expert dog petter. He throws his whole body into it. If there weren't other things to do, he’d just be cuddling dogs, and we’d never get any of them back,” Arven snorted, before rolling his eyes, “And I got how you meant it, you’re not Josie or something. Gods, that guy flirts with Doppio every chance he gets. Sometimes I just want to dump water on his head, tell him to cool the hells off.”

“But, yes! Perfect, Doppio will be thrilled to meet the dogs,” Arven grinned, “And it’ll be fun to meet your family! I feel like I hear about them all the time, but, like, there’s 30,000 of them. I’m curious how much you’re exaggerating.”

“Now there’s a career worth throwing yourself into,” Kiba laughed, “And there are plenty of dogs who’d go crazy for it. Though I’d definitely pout, not getting my dogs back. Ha, that’s one really nice thing about having a puppy--you are absolutely the best person in the world to them. It’s a damn ego trip, I’m telling you.”

Kiba scrunched his nose a little--there was some guy flirting with Arven’s boyfriend? Who does that?--before he matched Arven’s grin, lowering himself back onto the ground more. “You’ll just have to come over to find out~ …and maybe if the twins are over, they’ll be too excited with a new person to use me as a combination jungle gym and cannon.”

“Or all three of us will end up using you as a jungle gym and cannon, and then what will you do? You’ll have to call your dogs to protect you, and they seem… distractible.” Arven smirked, watching the three dogs run around, back to playing with the frisbee. Cute…

“Akamaru’d defend me ‘til the last…though seein’ some pups having fun, I think he’d be happy to take some bribes,” Kiba laughed, looking over at the dogs fondly. Akamaru really would defend him against anything, but…Kiba would almost prefer the distractions. For Akemaru too. Sacrifice just weakened the whole pack, he knew, but… He wouldn’t be able to take seeing his dogs hurt. Not again. 

“You do much wrestling?” Kiba asked, looking back at Arven. “You said you weren’t much of a fighter, but I mean, like, play-tussling ‘n stuff.”

“With Chief, sure,” Arven said, “Not really otherwise. I did once with a friend of mine, but he got mad at me when I flipped and pinned him and our other friends laughed, and we never really rough-housed again after that. I think all my friends were a little annoyed how strong I was. I didn’t hang with the most athletic crowd.”

Kiba snorted a little. “There’s some ego. Though I guess I can’t really relate, considering I hang with the crowd that once spent a whole year learning how to axe-kick someone mid-air.” Chuckling a little at that, he shrugged. “And, yanno. Whole family does dog wrestling, so glad you’re familiar with that. Though both Akamaru and I can shield you a bit if you’re not super stoked on being literally dog-piled.”

“Is that what’s waiting for me?” Arven snickered, “Well, how about if I cry ‘uncle’ or something, you come save me? That’s assuming I’m not being crushed so much I can’t even breathe.”

Chief ran up to Kiba with the frisbee, dropping it onto the boy’s lap expectantly. Throw, Chief told him calmly with his eyes, Throw now.

Kiba joined in snickering. “Might want to choose a different word, unless you want to summon my uncles to join in, but of course. It’d break my heart to leave Chief and Doppio alone.”

And speak of the dog… Hoisting himself back up into a sitting position with a great sigh, Kiba picked up the frisbee. “Don’t worry, Chief, I’ve got your back. Alright…go long!” It wasn’t with full torque, considering he was sitting, but Kiba was very practiced in throwing things from weird positions and the frisbee quickly sliced through the air, heading out over the park, just as quickly followed by the dogs. 

Man…that was a good throw… Even just watching it, Kiba could feel his heart pick up a little…ooogh but stomach…

“Nice throw,” Arven said, putting his ice cream down and collapsing again after watching the throw. “I’m gonna just pass out here, I think. Wake me up if it starts snowing.”

“Nooooo,” Kiba laughed, “You’re gonna make me want to sleep too. I’m even the guy who hasn’t gotten sleep; why am I the alarm clock?!” It was light-hearted, but after a moment, Kiba turned a suspicious, considering gaze to the dogs. “...well…Akemaru usually does wake me up for school on time…”

“Wanna count on the dogs to wake us up?” Arven smirked, eyes still closed, “I’m down if you are. Chief’s reliable.”

Kiba laid back down with a great harumph, getting comfortable on the ground. “Ah, fuck it. Let’s leave it to them, they already got a nap in. We gotta respect the ‘after a good meal’ demand to snooze.”

“Bet I’ll get to sleep faster than you will.” Arven said, even in the chilly day feeling the warmth of the sun over his face. It was soothing.

“Bet,” Kiba snorted, settling himself once more before stilling. His active mind sated with times of good food and good friends, knowing family was right nearby, and friends closer. 

It really wasn’t long before soft snoring started coming out from the fluffy jacket. 

Arven wouldn’t know. He was out like a light.

-

Kaito had excitedly lit the incense, placing down the offering bowls near the pillows as light shone in from the mosaic window down on them. “I know you guys don’t want to offer any, but I still like to do it, okay?”

“Only a little, Kaito,” Shuichi said, tucking his legs beside him, sitting comfortably on his pillow. “Remember what Miss Crystal said. Blood letting is one thing, but what you were doing before was self-harming.”

“Yeaaaah, I know. I don’t even want to anymore,” Kaito promised. “Maki, could you pass me the dagger?”

“Here,” Maki said, mirroring Shuichi’s posture, but on Kaito’s other side. “Just a prick, Kaito. I’m not answering to Kokichi for you.”

“Mmhm,” Kaito smiled warmly, poking his index finger and placing it over the bowl, “...it’s nice, both of you being here. When’s the last time it was just the three of us?”

“It’s been a while,” Maki agreed, “It’s the main reason I’m here. Figured it’d be nice sitting in on a ritual with you.”

“Just for us, huh?” Kaito snickered, blood dripping in before Kaito stuck his finger in his mouth, licking the wound to stem the flow, “No one you want to apologize to?”

“There’s no apologies I could ever give that’d be enough,” Maki said, looking away, “It’d be impossible to even start.”

“I don’t really think that’s true, but… you have time to realize you’re not unforgivable, stunner,” Kaito smiled lightly at Maki, “...I actually feel a little embarrassed saying this now, but you know I’ve forgiven you, right? For, just… any of it. To the point where I’m not even sure I feel like you did anything wrong.”

“I did,” Maki said, “And I wish you wouldn’t forgive me for it till I was entirely ready to forgive you.”

“Yeah, well, guess you just gotta play catch-up.” Kaito grinned warily, taking the bowl and murmured, “Atua, if it pleases you, let Sarah-Mei know that I forgive Maki-roll… and one day I hope to earn her forgiveness in turn.”

“I still love you.” Maki said.

“I know, I love you too.” Kaito said, putting the bowl down before looking at Shuichi, “Any prayers to Atua, Shuichi?”

“I don’t know,” Shuichi said lightly, staring up at the mosaic. Sarah-Mei’s short black hair sharing his eyes. “I’m still considering it.”

“Well, there’s no real hurry. The day’s just for acknowledging forgiveness and requests you’ve made recently, it’s not like today’s a due date for it,” Kaito grinned, before lighting up, “I forgave Hideki! I don’t know if he forgave me, but then, I don’t know if he really thinks that hard about me. He may not have ever noticed I had things to apologize for. Um… Lake, I apologized to Lake!”

“Did you forgive her?” Maki asked, watching the smoke rise and dance in the light.

“...yeah, I guess. I don’t know if she really did anything I should be allowed to forgive, it was all big misunderstandings.” Kaito shrugged.

“Why do your forgiveness stories all end with ‘maybe I wasn’t allowed to be mad’?” Shuichi asked, amused. 

“Shuuuut uuuuup, I’m allowed to be angry! I know! But, you know, I’m a jackass so…” Kaito shrugged, “A lot of the times in retrospect, I just feel like it was mostly me letting my anger get away from me. I asked Doppio for forgiveness. Not really sure if he does, really, but at least I asked.”

“What about me?” Shuichi smirked, “Do I get offered in this prayer?”

Kaito smiled, leaning in to kiss him. “Atua, if it pleases you: Sarah-Mei, I’ve begged my husband for forgiveness. I did not cherish him in all the ways I should have. I will spend the rest of my life making up for not having loved him like he deserves.”

“...I forgive you, Kaito,” Shuichi said lightly, kissing him back, “...though, I enjoy the way you make up for it, so you can do that forever, I think.”

“What a tyrant,” Kaito said dreamily. 

“Booo,” Maki said, taking one burnt out incense stick and throwing it at the back of Kaito’s head, it bouncing off lightly, “Back to praying, I’m not leaving just so you can change your praying style.”

“Yeaaah, yeah,” Kaito grinned, looking at the bowl, “I’ve asked Kokichi for forgiveness, which he gave me readily, but… still haven’t really forgiven myself for it. So that’ll take more time. And… come on, guys, neither of you have anything to add? You’re just gonna sit and make me pray the whole time?”

“It’s too much.” Maki shrugged.

“...” Shuichi shrugged as well, “It’s an all day event. Maybe I’ll think of something later.”

“Okay,” Kaito sighed, looking back to the bowl, “Then just… thanks for being here, then. Now, who else…”

-

Shuichi wasn’t going to do it, for most of the day.

And then, suddenly, he was.

It was a chilly, dim, rainy day. Shuichi was wearing a long, black overcoat. Kokichi and Kaito both assured him he was very handsome in it, and Shuichi agreed, it was one of the nicest pieces of clothes he owned. But he wasn’t wearing it entirely because he looked good in it, or because it was cold.

It was just… covering. 

He had been going to wear his hat, and then last second, he wasn’t. He left it behind. He didn’t want to hide under a hat, whatever was going to happen. 

He did do something he almost never did. It was something he had done extremely rarely in Luminary, usually when he was about to do something that truly scared him, and he hadn’t done it once in Dicea yet. It wasn’t a habit he was going to start, either. But he needed the help, so… Though it took him a minute to find someone who actually sold them, he bought a pack of cigarettes. And right now he was outside Nao’s house gate, standing on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette as he considered the house for a while. 

He had been there for almost twenty minutes. He was on his second cigarette, debating with himself.

It wasn’t that Nao didn’t consider herself a coward. She had never thought herself above fear, or even strong enough to push against it. In her youth, fear had been the defining quality of humanity, of life, that she had recognized, and being a part of those groups, she experienced it herself. These days…she did feel more like a coward than ever, though. 

It was pitiful. And humiliating. Nao had thought that Yasu had seen her at her worst when they were kids, when Yasu had spared her life and had pulled Nao out of a spiral that was actively destroying herself and those around her. But feeling her wife’s judgment over the past year, the utter…disappointment. It hurt…and Nao knew that there was no one to blame but herself. She had done this. And while her wife didn’t leave, sometimes…staying was so much harder. 

So it was Nao’s mental Yasu, calling her a coward, that prompted the woman to take a deep breath and grab an umbrella, heading out of her house. She walked down the path, just wearing the thick leggings and oversized sweatshirt she had been wearing around the house, her hair down, just about shoulder length, and stood a bit away from the gate. Looking at Shuuichi Saihara for the first time in over a year. 

“...would you like to come in, get out of the rain?”

Shuichi felt his chest tighten. The sheer… learned fear, of seeing her. In the flesh. She was right there…

…she looked a lot different, than how he remembered. 

He felt the back of his eyes immediately redden, and fought the urge to flee. He didn’t really know from what. Her. Himself. The version of himself he was when he knew her. It was all at once just there and huge and overwhelming, how badly he wanted to escape that moment in his life… but that was how he felt when he had taken in the frightened breath, watching her come out of the house, and it deflated out when he let that breath out.

Shuichi, partly to give himself something to do while she was walking down the path that wasn’t to panic, covered his cigarette from the rain and took a deep breath, letting it out by the time she was close enough to ask her question. He glanced warily at her home. 

“...I don’t think I want to go into your home,” Shuichi admitted, “...is now a bad time? I know it must seem really random to you.”

Nao nodded. That was incredibly fair. While it was a genuine offer, her home was her domain, and for Shuuichi to seek her out now… It wasn’t fair to put them in a situation that benefitted her. 

But it was still raining. 

“Now’s fine,” Nao softly assured. “I think any time would feel relatively random to me, but I did know today might come eventually. …I won’t press again, but would you at least like to stand on the porch?”

…she hadn’t known Shuuichi smoked. She didn’t know much at all about him, really. She could read his journal and provoke answers to things he hadn’t wanted to give, but…she didn’t really know him. 

It felt a bit useless, but she hoped she hadn’t been a reason to pick up smoking. 

Shuichi didn’t really want to stand on the porch either… but he couldn’t just stay frozen on the sidewalk, getting progressively soaked in the rain. After a bit, it was just silly, and Shuichi didn’t like feeling silly. He had his pride.

“Sure,” Shuichi said, “Can I smoke? It’s… it’s alright to say no.”

He walked to the gate, before hesitating. Sort of needing her to keep some distance, so unable to bring himself to walk onto the path before she started heading back to the porch.

“I don’t mind, as long as you’re not blowing it right at me,” Nao nodded, before leading the way to the porch. It wasn’t just some awning over the door, so there was plenty of space for each of them. 

Some part of her was…disappointed, which made a bigger part of herself disgusted by that feeling. The entitlement. But she had to acknowledge that, when she had seen Shuuichi in front of her house, she had expected him to yell at her. 

…no, she wished he had. It felt…a long time coming. Shuuichi getting his piece of her through anger, expressing the things that she hadn’t stuck around long enough for him to have. Nao knew, whenever today came, it was going to be about Shuuichi. About him getting whatever he needed from seeing her again. 

The quiet between them felt…underwhelming for that purpose. But what he wanted and how he decided to pursue that wasn’t her decision. 

Standing to one side of the porch, Nao closed the umbrella and shook it off the side of the porch a bit, before laying it against one of the support beams. Taking that moment to breathe, before…taking a chance. 

“...Shuuichi, I’m sorry,” Nao said quietly, though with the sincerity of regret she had spent the last year stewing in and taking apart. “Whatever brought you here today, I won’t try to bowl over…but if I get to say one thing to you… I’m sorry. I was cruel to you, and you didn’t deserve it.”

“Mmm,” Shuichi hummed in acknowledgment. 

Their porch had a lovely little swinging loveseat on it, which Shuichi thought was nice. But in an effort to not accidentally get smoke into their walls, he leaned against the porch barrier, letting the wood carry his weight and blowing out into the wind. He wasn’t as wet as he could have been, thanks to the coat, and soon he felt more or less okay, out of the rain and wind.

“...so, there’s this holiday we have in Luminary, a ritual,” Shuichi explained, flicking the ash into the rain, “All of our holidays are ritual based, in some form or another. We love our rituals. I’m sure there’s a religious reason for it, but personally I think our culture just likes to have a sense of time passing and milestones. A way to keep track of our emotions, when it can all feel so overwhelming and endless.”

“Last year, Saint Sarah-Mei’s day came and went and none of us celebrated it. I think Kaito lost track of it, mostly, but I also think none of us were in the right headspace to think about forgiveness, for things. That’s what the holiday means. Today is a day to reflect on forgiveness for others, and making amends for our own wrongs,” Shuichi said. “There’s no big community thing for it. No one dances in the streets for it. It’s a personal thing. A holiday you acknowledge if you need it… Does Dicea have anything like that?” Shuichi asked, looking absentmindedly at some windchimes hanging from the porch ceiling, “Forgiveness rituals or such?”

“Ah…so that’s why it’d only be a random day to me,” Nao murmured before she went quiet, listening to the rest of Shuuichi’s explanation. A holiday for the ritual of forgiveness. It was quite sweet, actually. Probably healthy, to have a day specifically dedicated to considering forgiveness in one’s life. 

Humming softly, Nao watched the rain. “We have the holiday Epakohta that’s meant for dispelling grudges. It’s less a contemplation of forgiveness, and more of a…’let’s settle this once and for all’ tradition, through a medium of fistfights…or debates-turn-yelling matches, for the less physically focused. You can challenge someone for something as minor as scuffing your floor or as major as…well. Grievous harm. But the expectation is that at the end of the fight, you’re square, and the grudge or any hard feelings have been resolved. Even if feelings don’t actually tie up so neatly.”

It was more the expectation that you could no longer hold something against someone after a fight during Epakohta in actions. You might still be hurt, but through agreeing to fight, you couldn’t keep blaming or punishing each other. 

“It’s in Late-Winter, if you’re curious,” she added. 

“Spars,” Shuichi nodded, before chuckling a little. Taking a deep breath on his cigarette, and saying as he let it out into the wind, “That’s never really been my thing, but maybe watch out for Maki and Kaito, someday. You know, you caused quite the argument between me and Kaito, once. I was very upset with him. For talking to you?”

“Kaito thought it was going to be for the disrespect of being friendly with you, while I still considered you an enemy,” Shuichi said, looking out into the rain, “That’s a big insult, in Luminary. If you love someone, you share their enemies. It’s considered a point of respect. He couldn’t understand why I was actually angry. I saw him try to understand, but he couldn’t. I’ve explained it to him a few times, but he can’t fathom how twisted up my feelings about you are. I wish you were an enemy. It’d have made things a lot easier, at least on my end.”

Clearing his throat, a little frustrated with himself– like Nao, he had imagined this confrontation a thousand times, and he was annoyed he still didn’t entirely know what to say– Shuichi glared at the porch covering like the answers might be up there, as he said, “I listened to Kaito, today, say over and over again that he’s forgiven someone to the point where he isn’t sure they did anything wrong anymore. And a part of me is happy for him, because he does seem lighter, now that he’s doing it. He was struggling with a lot of anger this last year. But a part of me is sad for him too. Forgiving someone is one thing. Deciding they never did anything wrong in the first place? Watching him do that made me sad. Forgiveness shouldn’t come just because you decided you were the one in the wrong.”

Knocking his knuckles onto the wood, Shuichi said, “But I think that was the only way Kaito could bring himself to do it. A long time of being angry… and then deciding there was nothing to be angry for, and able to let go. And as I was realizing that, I realized I was doing the exact opposite. And that has its own problems that I need to work through, if I’m ever going to move on.”

“Sorry, I’m rambling. I’m a bit nervous,” Shuichi admitted, looking at Nao, “...I can’t be angry with you, the way I need, until I get your forgiveness for some things I just can’t let go.”

Nao smiled faintly. “I have a feeling I’m going to receive quite a few requests this year. Perhaps not even from Maki or Kaito, but I won’t be surprised if it happens in later years.” It wasn’t that surprising either that her conversation with Kaito during summer had been a point of contention in the family either. After it happened, Nao had gone back and forth on the matter herself. If she should’ve tried harder to leave Kaito, if she should’ve stopped him when things started getting more personal than him pestering her. If one of the reasons she’d let it happen was because she had wanted his anger…and how she felt about it when she didn’t get it. If ‘letting’ it happen was even the right way to talk about it, since Kaito had had his own agency too. 

So it wasn’t surprising that it had caused issues on the other side. But Nao still listened to the ‘how’ Shuuichi decided to tell her. And she could only smile grimly at the rain. …she wished he thought of her as an enemy too. 

Though, soon, she looked over at Shuuichi in surprise. “Me, forgive you?” A blink, before Nao took a breath. Putting her hands on the railing. “...Shuuichi, I’m sorry if I may be using some of your husband’s wisdom and it’s frustrating still, but… I don’t feel like there’s anything to forgive you for.”

Glancing over, there was the barest shadow of amusement in her face. “...if you’ve blamed yourself for…’ruining my life’? Something to that effect? …then I’m sorry for that guilt too. It makes me disgusted with myself that even after everything I did to you, I’d still inspire that kind of regret. The consequences of my life shouldn’t be on your shoulders. I made my choices, and so I face the consequences. None of that is your fault.”

Guilt seeped into her expression, drawing into the lines. “...none of what happened was your fault. You needed help, and I was so…arrogant to think I could do it alone, even when from the very beginning I had already failed. And more than failing, I actively made it worse, just…for my own curiosity. You’re not at fault for a cruel, arrogant, foolish woman torturing you.”

Shuichi gripped his cigarette too hard, and accidentally burnt his fingers. “Sssss” He hissed, putting the cigarette in his other hand and putting his burnt finger in the rain, before sucking on the wound, “Do you have a plate I can put this out on? It’s gone too low. Ouch…”

“Oh!” Nao frowned, looking at Shuuichi’s hand before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll be right back.”

And she was, not only bringing out a small ceramic plate, but also a small first aid kit. Offering both, she said, “There’s aloe in here, if you’d like to use it. Bandages too.”

Shuichi put out the cigarette, before taking the first aid kid with a raised eyebrow, opening it up and looking down at it… before scoffing, “You’re the most bewildering person I know. And I know Kokichi.”

“...did the night in the archive actually happen?” Shuichi asked, something bitter in his tone as took the aloe, lightly dabbing it onto his burn, “I keep going back and forth on that one. I don’t…” Shuichi grit his teeth, rubbing the aloe a bit, playing with it as it settled on his skin, “...you have to understand, I don’t entirely know what happened, back then.” 

“I have the memories, but after a certain point, they become disjointed and non-linear, and some of them feel like hallucinations. Fever dreams I was living through. It’s not just my time with you, the early days of my trip to the coast have that same fever dream quality. I try not to ask my husbands what did or didn’t happen, because I know it’d agonize them, realizing how truly out of it I was.”

“Some of them come in clearer though. And there was this moment in the archive that shines like a light, because for a moment everything was clear. Bright and clear. But I can’t remember what led to it.” Shuichi said, ignoring the bandages and just playing with the aloe, “I cracked my head against the floor, and for a little while I was actually awake… did you smash my skull into concrete?” Shuichi asked, uncertain, “That seems needlessly cruel, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what actually happened. Did you smash my head into the floor, and then leave me lying there… and are now giving me a full first aid kit? For a burn that barely is one?”

Compared to Kokichi, huh. It was flattering enough to feel revolting, making her heart sink. Same as what Shuuichi brought up next. 

Nao suppressed a sigh, simply letting out air in a controlled stream as she looked back out at the rain…before forcing herself to look at Shuuichi. “I didn’t. I pushed you, and you fell on your hands and knees, I slapped you, and I held you by the neck, which, when I let go, you went limp and…that moment of hitting the floor might be what that moment of clarity was. But I didn’t hit your head into the floor.” More guiltily, she continued. “...but that night in the archive did happen, and I left you there overnight.”

Shuichi relaxed a little, nodding. “It helps to know. And that’s one of the reasons I want to apologize to you. However bad things might have been? I’m certain I’m remembering them as having been much worse. And when Maki and Kaito and… Kokichi? Are angry at you? They’re angry at the version I remember. Who… I don’t know if she’s you. And that doesn’t feel fair to me.”

“And more than that?” Shuichi scowled, looking away, “I hate the person I was, with you. Because the bits of what I remember doing? I was throwing myself at you, Nao. Stalking you. And I’ve learned since then you’re basically an adrenaline junkie. Maybe even arguably a recovering sadist. I know about your friend. I can’t…” Shuichi frowned, eyes going distant, “I can’t remember if you told me or I just retroactively remember you doing that, since I’ve dug up your files. But I know. You have a history of this type of insanity. You take problems and you make them these… big, dramatic, larger than life issues. And then once everything is at its absolute worst? You just…”

Shuichi suddenly looked at her coldly, snapping his finger, “Wake up. And you notice, oh nooooo, is everyone bleeding and dying and screaming because of me? Uh oh, guess it’s time to fix the problem I made and do penance and accept the consequences of my actions…and then you did it again!?”

Shuichi tsked, venom in his tone. Not just repulsion, but judgment. All that progress, thrown away… before he sighed, the judgment fading away to guilt, “I must have been catnip to you. I must have been so tempting… you got your life together, and then bam. There I was. And now you’re back to square one.”

“...and I’m just… sorry it happened that way.” Shuichi said softly.

There was a part of Nao that wanted to claim she didn’t deserve a more charitable perception of what happened…but that wasn’t actual justice. It wasn’t the truth, and even the truth wasn’t charitable. Things not being as horrible as they could’ve been didn’t make what actually happened good. They weren’t things to be thankful for in comparison to a fantasy. And…insisting that Nao did deserve that fantasy took away the reflection and closure and recompense Shuuichi deserved from reality. 

She gave Shuuichi a mildly surprised look, hearing him reference Wakame, but given any moment of thought, she really shouldn’t have been. The pursuit of truth wasn’t something surprising about Shuuichi. And, well…Nao’s truths were out there. She had testified them herself. 

And hearing Shuuichi throw that truth back at her…Nao stood in his judgement. Because he was right. “...you existing shouldn’t have been a problem. You’re right… I have a history of mistakes that…if I had learned properly from them?” She gave a painful, regretful smile. “...I should’ve just left you alone in the library. Or I should’ve talked to Kaito or Maki or Kokichi, and even if they brushed off me just…saying I thought you had been acting odd? That shouldn’t have been clearance for me taking your personhood into my own hands.”

“You existing might have gotten my attention, yes. But every action I took was my own…as horrible and selfish and poorly thought out as they were.”

Nao sighed, her shoulders dropping a bit. “...I’m sorry that things happened how they did too. I had all the opportunity to be a better person to you, and I didn’t take any of them. I just…hadn’t grown as much as I thought I had, when an actual chance to test it came around. And you and your family and my family suffered for it.”

Shuichi huffed, glaring up at the ceiling again. There were light spider webs in the beams. This was not a home prepared for Prince Kokichi to swing by for a visit. 

“...I held a blade to Kaito, once.” Shuichi said. He took out his packet of cigarettes and knocked them against his leg, before taking one out. Putting them away, he took out a lighter and flicked it open, lighting up, before putting that way as well, “Kaito was doing a submission bow, apologizing for not noticing anything was wrong with me, even when Maki pointed it out to him. He was too caught up in Kokichi to worry about me. He brought me the blade, and you know what… I almost used it. He was my friend. He should have intervened.”

“And you should have never touched me,” Shuichi agreed, giving her a cold look, “The fucking… hubris. Of deciding to ‘fix me’. I wasn’t a wounded fucking animal you had stumbled upon. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I WAS?”

Shuichi suddenly shot from the railing, stepping into her space, glaring up at her, practically snarling like the creature he had just denied he was as he said, “I WAS THE FUCKING BOOGIEMAN! People went to bed PRAYING I wouldn’t show up at their doors! My word made people DISAPPEAR! I survived torture! I survived brain washing! I was a SLAVE and HATED, and I earned the devotion of the fucking REAPER and made the Second Son beg and pant at my FUCKING FEET! I got Haji Momota fucking EXECUTED while he was on the verge of a takeover, and I outlived Leon Momota and Sayaka Momota and the only reason Kaede and Byakaya aren’t both SIX FEET UNDER is because MY sister decided NO.”

“And you?” Shuichi snarled, clutching his cigarette, his vein throbbing in his forehead, “Thought you could fix me!? WHO THE FUCK IS NAO UMEZAKI!?”

Again, Shuuichi surprised her, and this wasn’t even one that she should have known better about. Because…she didn’t know Shuuichi. She was surprised that Shuuichi had taken the offered blade, and almost used it against the man he would eventually marry. Against his friend. 

She hadn’t known Shuuichi at all. She had been someone drooling in delight and disgust at a people whose few customs that had even made it over the border horrified people. A people whose leader had nearly killed her prince (her nephew) and could only feel smug about it. One of the lowest valued in that society had stayed…and had been acting odd. A dark mystery that Nao had felt uniquely qualified to handle, because she had spent so much of her life in dark places, always making it out, and she surely couldn’t trust the barbarians around that mystery to figure it out themselves…

It was a disgusting display of hubris and wish-fulfillment. 

She’d barely even seen Shuuichi as a person. Of course she hadn’t known who he was. 

She took his rage, the moment almost feeling right. 

“...there are a lot of ways to answer that, but I don’t think any are as fitting as ‘a fool’.”

“...” Shuichi’s eyes were alight with a fierce bloodlust. Like a snowstorm that had rapidly pressed in from all sides, and at first you think your own warmth will be enough to whether it, only to realize at the worst possible moment that no, you really can’t move, and no, you really might not wake up, as he clutched his cigarette, “You studied us, didn’t you fool? Apologize like a Luminary would.” 

Nao nodded gently--her studies hadn’t been nearly enough. A delight in squeamish aesthetics without really understanding--before getting down on her knees and then bending over. Placing her hands on the wooden flooring before her forehead joined them. 

“...Shuuichi Saihara, I have done a great injustice to you. I have harmed and violated you in ways no person should be. I have caused strife for your family, and scars that cannot be erased. I…”

…it wasn’t fair to him. No matter the explanation, if Shuuichi harmed her here in retribution, it would be seen as assault. It wasn’t fair to offer it, when his decision wasn’t a real one. But even so…

“...I submit myself to your judgment.”

“Foolish… so foolish,” Shuichi said darkly, glaring at her, “...I shouldn’t have taken those drugs. They made me stupid, but I still should have been smarter. I should have gone for help. I wanted to be strong. My husband thinks our mutual husband is the strength obsessed one. Maybe he knows better now, or maybe that’s something he’ll come to understand as we live our lives together, but I am a man of pride. I hate kneeling. I hate being weak. I hate who I was with you, and I hate you for enabling me. If I had stopped taking those drugs when you found me, cold turkey? I may have died. Or maybe I wouldn’t have. But my body wouldn’t have changed. I wouldn’t have breasts that I can barely stand or stretch marks from a child I was too scared to abort. I wouldn’t have committed to a relationship right at the cusp of my freedom.”

“...and I wouldn’t have my daughter,” Shuichi said, eyes reddening, “Or my husbands. And I wouldn’t have grown comfortable with the parts of me that are selfish, and that needs, and that wants to be spoiled and taken care of and all the things that I pretended weren’t true before I came here. I was so proper, back in Luminary. I drank black coffee. Black coffee is gross. I smoked. Everyone was scared of me and I just wanted to be loved, and I didn’t know how to ask for it. And now I know how to demand it.”

“Maybe it’s too much to give you credit for all of that,” Shuichi admitted, taking a deep breath of his cigarette, before kneeling down, “But it’s still something that happened. I don’t know what my life would look like now, had you not been such a fool. But it’d be so different. And I’d have lost so much… and you lost so much, for everything I gained. And I just wish it hadn’t happened like that, you idiot. I’d have never asked all of that of you. Your job, your reputation, your life, I didn’t fucking want any of that shit, you fucking masochist. I would have just wanted something like this.”

And taking another deep breath of his cigarette, he placed it on its side on his palm. Ignoring the heat of the fire already singeing his skin, as he gave her a cool, mildly exasperated look, “Take my hand? And we’re square. It’s all forgiven.”

Nao closed her eyes, feeling them burn as Shuuichi listed things he hated…but all the things he gained. She did think it was too much to credit her with those things…but she had been a domino piece in the cascade. A cascade Shuuichi had started himself, but with only some pieces that were his own, others contributing pieces down certain weaving lines. Some of those pieces fell as a direct result of another, them having stood side by side, but others never fell at all, down paths that never started or just too far from the last piece to be impacted. 

Her influence hadn’t given Shuuichi everything he now treasured…but it hadn’t been negligible either. 

Looking up with watery orange eyes, Nao raised her hand to take Shuuichi’s, grimacing a bit at the burning on her palm…but there was something lighter about that pain than Nao had felt in a while. 

“We’re square,” she nodded, before just sitting on her knees. 

And after a moment, still with tears starting to dot her cheeks, Nao smiled softly. “...my life isn’t bad now, Shuuichi. I loved my job, I loved the respect from my community…I loved the respect from my wife. But I haven’t just been living in a swamp of misery since I lost them. I’m just living in a new chapter…and hopefully I truly learn from my mistakes this time.”

“...you seem happy, with your new chapter. I’m glad.”

Shuichi winced as the cigarette burned against his own palm, waving his hand in the air a bit when they let go, the crushed cigarette dropping onto the wood. Shuichi sat down, sighing as he looked at his hand. Ouch… that’d probably scar, but then, that had been the point. Submission bows either ended in killing, mercy, or maiming. And Nao had earned her damn maiming. 

Maybe Shuichi hadn’t earned his, but, well… for him, it took the guesswork out of it. Agonizing and wondering about that terrible week, wondering how much of it was his fault. What he had begged for. Invited. 

If he had been wrong? Well, he had the scar for it. He didn’t owe her anything else.

Flexing his hand around the burn, Shuichi snorted, “Maybe don’t mention that around Maki. I don’t need anyone deciding they need to come in and get me ‘more justice’. I’m fairly content with this. Though I reserve the right to ask you what the hell happened, sometimes, and I don’t care if it makes you feel bad. It should.”

“My new life is… good,” Shuichi agreed, nodding, “Sometimes I get sad because I know it’s not the life I would have chosen, a year ago. But I would have lost out, to not have had it. My daughter is a prodigy, she can crawl a little. She sort of sits and scoots on her butt a little, and according to the baby books that usually starts at 7 months, and she’s 6 months, so I’m pretty sure she’s a genius.” Shuichi said, waving his hand in the air some more, “...I’m still trying to figure out how to use my damn dick, so thanks for that. Asshole. Kaito loves it, but I haven’t been able to let him use it yet, I’m worried he’ll tear. And yes, you do get to hear about it, we are well beyond TMI limits.”

“...I don’t know if Kokichi’s ever going to want to see you again.” Shuichi said, his eyes reddening again a bit, “That’s something I always felt guilty about. He loved you. I don’t know how it works for you all, and I’m not interested in trying to make anything happen,  I just… am telling you. He’s very angry.”

“...he might be glad that you’re happy,” Shuichi said, looking a bit lazily at Nao, “Should I tell him?”

“I won’t, though thanks for the warning,” Nao sighed a laugh, though her smile softened as Shuuichi spoke about his daughter. As per her therapist’s recommendations, Nao didn’t go seeking out information about the Ouma-Saihara-Momota family, but just the fact that she lived in the capital meant that she still did hear gossip. Ever since she was born, Nao had heard all sorts of cooing adoration about Miyako, but…it was something truly wonderful, hearing it from her father. The casual but pointed pride in her genius. 

Hearing about his dick was less great, but Nao couldn’t help but laugh a little as she wiped her face. Yeah, they were past that point…and anything Shuuichi wanted to know about that week, she would do her best to explain for him. 

And…

And. 

Nao closed her eyes for a moment, taking a breath. “...if he ever asks, you can tell him. You’ve probably long seen it for yourself, but…for truly awful injustices like this, it’s up to the person harmed to choose if they ever want to connect. For answers, for closure, for forgiveness… If Kokichi isn’t ready to have me be in his thoughts again, I’m not going to be the one to engage.”

And…at least months ago, he hadn’t been. He had looked like he’d been slapped, seeing her in that store before he ran. Nao almost felt like she had been. 

Drawing in a shaky breath, Nao steadied herself before speaking again. “I love him too…but I understand his decision, if my time in his life is done. He should be angry. But…if he does ever want to see me again…I’m here.”

“Hmm,” Shuich hummed in acknowledgment. A lot like how the conversation had started. Sometimes all there was to do was acknowledge something had been said. Shuichi couldn’t control what happened between Nao or Kokichi any more than he had been able to control what happened between her and Kaito. And by this point, it wasn’t his concern beyond being there for Kokichi. Forgiveness left him less concerned with whatever Nao was up to. They weren’t in a relationship of hatred anymore.

For Shuichi? The Nao chapter of his life was fundamentally done. At least this version of it.

“...oh wait,” Shuichi said, looking around and grabbing the unlit cigarette, and then throwing it at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a most puttering little bonk as he said, “THATS for the ‘plant zombie room’ at the haunted house last year! I heard about that! What the fuck? Fuck that, hand me the cigarette back, I’m throwing it at you again.”

Nao blinked a flinch at the cigarette, glancing down at it in bewilderment before startling a little at Shuuichi’s less intense anger. At first she just had to take a second to adjust to the shift in tone, before she frowned…though she did still give the cigarette back. “They what?! Shuuichi, I left working for the haunted house when I quit my job at the castle. The rooms are usually planned months in advance, because the season starts at the start of Early-Fall and everything takes months to make, so likely a lot of my work did still make it in last year… But they made a plant zombie room??”

Nao sat back a little, scoffing. “That’s…disturbingly quick turnaround for something that insensitive. Perhaps preying on recent concerns, but even so…”

Shuichi took the cigarette back, squinting at Nao… before scoffing, putting it in his pocket and getting up, “I’ll throw that at whichever jerk did that, then, if I ever find out who. Honestly, who thought they were being ‘so clever’, seriously, there is such a thing as too soon.”

Shuichi sighed, fixing his coat a little, looking down at Nao, “...thank you for the conversation,” Shuichi said, before heading off her porch, “See you around, Nao.”

Nao took a breath. Like the pain from the cigarette, feeling…lighter. Like she had said, the last year hadn’t been just constant misery. But even on the better days, guilt and shame had followed her around like smog. She still felt those things for what she had done, but…one step of her amends was finished. And that was something worth feeling better about. 

“See you, Shuuichi. I hope the rest of your holiday is fulfilling,” Nao said, giving him a small wave before collecting their handshake cigarette onto the plate she’d brought, picking up the first aid kit, and heading inside. 

…hmm, she should use some of that aloe herself, huh. 

…she would tell Yasu the truth about this bandage. She didn’t think her wife would look so sad about this one. 

-

This was…potentially pretty dumb. And self-serving. And Cheri could practically hear Lio gently disapproving of her decision, listing out the genuinely good reasons she shouldn’t. So…that was why Cheri hadn’t told anyone what she was doing. She simply mentioned wanting to go out for a drink, and Lio had cautioned her to be careful in the wet weather and…that was that. 

However, when Cheri showed up at Usott Castle with the intent to find Shuuichi…she hadn’t expected to find him in the castle entryway, shucking off the majority of rain just as she was about to do. Hesitating in surprise for a moment, Cheri took her chance and walked over, half-heartedly waving a hand. “Oh, Shuuichi! Are you in a hurry?”

Shuichi startled lightly, surprised to see Cheri. They shared a class this semester, and had been steadily working on projects and studying together once they had realized they had a common friend in Drake. They were close in the way casual friends were close, and he smiled lightly as he recognized her, “Ah, hello. Both yes and no. I was feeling very confident earlier about leaving a burn I had gotten alone, but time in the wind and cold has made the sting a bit intolerable, so I’m about to go find myself some aloe and a bandage. If it’s not something that can wait, you can walk with me if you like, but I really do need it.”

“Oh, shoot, I’m sorry about that…” 

It wasn’t like this was her only chance. It was almost entirely by chance that Cheri even knew it was Saint Sarah-Mei’s Day today, let alone the fact that she knew what that meant. But the Luminous holiday wasn’t the only time you could ever apologize to someone, and Cheri was already struggling with deciding if her apology would cause Shuuichi more harm than it would be giving him any sort of closure. 

But she had chickened out of this for months, and after working up the courage to do it today…Cheri was reluctant to let the chance slip. 

“It’s not…urgent, I wouldn’t say, but… I’ll walk with you. I can be an extra hand as well, if you need it.” Cheri smiled softly. “From my sisters, I’ve gotten pretty good at treating minor injuries.”

…particularly burns, but for all that she would be bearing to Shuuichi, there were still some secrets Cheri would fiercely defend. 

Shuichi nodded distractedly, not minding for the same reason he wasn’t terribly concerned about what she needed. He assumed it was a question on the latest assignment their class was working on. And while he enjoyed studying with her, everything with Nao had been… well, a lot. And nothing seemed terribly important in comparison, beyond maybe Miyako getting her little poking baby teeth and scooting like a damn professional. 

But as he found the first aid kit in the dining hall, he sat down on a corner table, Cheri sitting with him as he showed her the injury, “Cigarette burn,” He explained, digging in for the aloe, “The dangers of smoking, I suppose. What did you need, Cheri? Everything alright?”

“Ouch,” Cheri frowned sympathetically, looking at the burn. It was…an odd place, but it wasn’t a circular burn so…it probably was just an accident. “Palm injuries are rough, I’m sorry you got hurt.”

…

“Everything is okay, now, I just…” She sighed. She had been too young and too isolated while she’d lived in Luminary to have ever had to legitimately do a Submission Bow. But in her hazy recollection, and the cultural understanding pamphlets going around, while a public bow might’ve not been all that weird in Luminary? In Dicea, she didn’t want to embarrass Shuuichi. So…she just sat at the table. 

“...today is Saint Sarah-Mei’s Day, isn’t it?” Cheri confirmed with Shuuichi. “A day for forgiveness. And…I know you won’t have any idea what I’m talking about until I explain, but…I want to offer you an apology, Shuuichi. A proper one.”

“It is, how did you know? I can’t imagine that’s common knowledge in Dicea,” Shuichi said, rubbing the aloe around his palm… before looking up, raising an eyebrow almost as much at her serious tone as the words, “...Cheri, what on earth could you have to apologize to me for?”

Pursing her lips for a moment, Cheri fussed with her fingers on the table, before taking a deep breath. Keeping her voice low, even in the sparsely populated area of the dining hall they were in. “...Lio is my adoptive father. Originally…I was born in Luminary, and my birth name was Cheri Birkin. My birth parents were employees of the Togami Corporation.”

There was…more to say. Maybe. But…hopefully that much would clarify to Shuuichi what she was talking about. 

Shuichi had been nodding along absentmindedly, wrapping his hand in a bandage… before he froze. Blinking slowly at the bandage… before glancing up at her. Silent and considering. Studying her.

“...” he looked down to finish his bandage, “Could you put the first aid kit back for me?”

“Sure,” Cheri nearly whispered, getting up and putting the first aid kit back. 

Being rescued by Lio, moving back to Dicea with him, being adopted…it had been a fresh start for her. Her dad had never asked Cheri to deny her heritage, to ignore the first nine years of her life and pretend they never happened… But for her safety, and later for the safety of her sisters, Cheri never told anyone about the first part of her childhood. Opening it all up to Shuuichi now… The war with Luminary was over, and the Indentured Program was shut down. There was still great harm Shuuichi could do to her and her family, but it wouldn’t be as…powerful, or conglomerated as the threat once was. 

Cheri couldn’t apologize to every person who had gone through the program…but she could try to offer something to her friend that he would likely never get otherwise. 

There was a stiff, strained look on Cheri’s face as she returned to Shuuichi. 

There was no strain on Shuichi’s face, as he tested the bandage a bit, before shivering. “I’d offer to sit in the garden or something, but I’m soaking and I need to change my pants and drop this coat off to my room. I’m sure you don’t want to discuss this in the open, but can you hold off until I’m not soaked through?”

He asked, but he was already standing up, waiting by the table for Cheri to get up and follow, “If you don’t mind? It’s so cold.” 

“Not at all,” she shook her head, before attempting a small smile. It deeeefinitely was a grimace. “I am sorry for kind of catching you in transition. I wanted to talk to you today, if you had the time and I just…jumped at the chance when I saw you. But…it can wait for whatever you need to do.”

“Oh, I want to talk to you too. Though… I’m not sure why you’re apologizing?” Shuichi admitted, walking out of the dining room and heading up the stairs, “When were you adopted, Cheri?”

“Ten years ago,” she said, smiling hesitantly. She knew the premise was flawed. “...I know it’s not my apology to give. But I still want to offer it.”

“Mmm,” Shuichi hummed, squishing a bit as he moved. Darn dramatic rain standing. He was so wet. “Well, just give me a moment, I won’t take long.”

And he didn’t. He hopped in and said hello to Kaito, who was watching Miyako, quickly getting changed and saying he couldn’t stay, he was in the middle of a convo. Called that he loved them, before heading back out, significantly drier, before yawning. 

“...this is an apology to me, specifically?” Shuichi asked Cheri, glancing at Maki’s door. “We can discuss it in the nursery, if you’d like a quiet spot.”

Cheri didn’t understand what the glance was for a moment, but there was enough of an echo that…ah. Part of why she had chosen to give this apology to Shuuichi was their relationship. This could have a chance of going horribly…but over the months, Cheri had come to trust Shuuichi enough to have faith in him that it wouldn’t. She didn’t know Maki as well, so it hadn’t occurred to her to ask upfront, but…Maki’s son was Bianka’s friend. Cheri could trust that. 

“...if Maki’s here, I think I would like to apologize to her too,” Cheri nodded after a moment, “And I think some privacy would be best.”

“That door,” Shuichi said, pointing, “Wait inside, let me see if she’s home.”

The nursery, still unlived in, was immaculate. The toys waiting for an older Miyako to enjoy all decorating the walls, the walls beautiful, joyful cute animals enjoying a flower filled valley under a bright, joyful sun. A small bed that would one day be Miyako’s first bed, when she was ready to move on from the crib.

Shuichi and Maki came in, Maki glancing around the room in that alert, ‘checking the shadows’ way of hers, before her red gaze focused on Cheri… and she said, “Oh, right, this one. You’re right, I have met her.”

“I told you,” Shuichi smiled lightly, going to one of the soft bean bags that decorated the room and plopping on it, sighing, “Maki, I have so much to tell you later, by the way. But, this is clearly on Cheri’s mind, so, please be nice.”

“Sure,” Maki said, heading to the wall behind Shuichi’s bean bag and leaning against it, crossing her arms, “So. Shuichi’s was obscure, but said you had family that harmed us? Go ahead.”

Ah…well… It didn’t feel great not to be remembered, but maybe that was a blessing in disguise, up to this point. 

Taking a breath, Cheri nodded before getting on her knees and… Well. Now it did feel a bit performative to do a full Submission Bow, after she had already admitted to Shuuichi it wasn’t her apology to make, and with the stipulations she had to have. So…she just bowed her head and leaned forward into a moderate bow, just not pressing herself all the way to the floor. 

“I was born in Luminary, and my birth parents worked for the Togami Corporation. Specifically… My birth parents, William and Annette Birkin, were researchers that worked on the development of conditioning. My family has harmed you and yours in an irreparable way…and for that, I offer myself to your judgement.”

She remained bowed, but Cheri let out a breath. “...or so I would like to say, but… I owe too much to too many people to freely offer myself. Whatever retribution that would be the justice owed to you, Shuuichi, Maki… I can’t let myself offer everything. But even a drop in the pond…I want to make things right.”

Shuichi and Maki both looked at her… before Shuichi looked over his shoulder, Maki sniffing a bit in thought. “...when did you come to Dicea?”

“She basically grew up here,” Shuichi answered for her, looking back at Cheri. 

“Inherited any of your families wealth?” Maki tried, “I suppose you could buy me a new crossbow if you did… or, ever use your families experiments to get yourself a couple of slaves to serve you?”

“Or to convince a crush to like you?” Shuichi asked, before looking over his shoulder at Maki’s questioning sound. “That’s how I would have been tempted to use it, if I had grown up knowing how to condition people. Shallow, personal gains.”

“She couldn’t have tortured a crush until their mind shattered just to make them like her.” Maki pointed out.

“You don’t know what her life was like, maybe she could.” Shuichi argued, looking at Cheri, “Did you?

Cheri shook her head, cringing a little at Maki’s follow-up question. She wasn’t close with Shuuichi, but she knew that he could bounce between a sharp seriousness and irreverence without missing a beat, so the banter between him and Maki didn’t exactly mean they were taking it well… But this really wasn’t close to the worst case scenario. 

“I came to Dicea with the clothes on my back…and not even those, soon after everything,” Cheri explained, “And…I find my birth parents’ experiments…horrifying. It’s not something I would ever do to another person, let alone wish it upon them.”

How conditioning had worked in Luminary, the torture before an Empath came in to do the ‘finishing touches’...it just wasn’t really feasible in Dicea, and especially for a 9-year-old. And back then, Cheri hadn’t even really conceptualized her own Empathy. She had been terrified of the power passed down to her when it finally started manifesting, but…

Well. It was a line of thinking that kind of defeated the purpose of Cheri taking on the responsibility to apologize to Shuuichi and Maki, but…she wasn’t her parents. Their sins didn’t mean that she had to be ashamed and scared of who she was. But Cheri would never forget what that kind of cruelty looked like, and she would use that horror to maintain a resolve to never cause that kind of harm on another person. 

“Fine, I’ll just buy my own crossbow,” Maki said, “Or, actually, I’ll make Kaito buy me one.”

Shuichi nodded, before smiling lightly at Cheri, “Sorry, we’re being unkind. We can be a bit… flippant, sometimes. But you really have nothing to apologize for, and I don’t really feel like you need to apologize for the sins of your parents either. Maki and I were surrounded by people who did take advantage of us, and benefited from our labor, and harmed us directly… you don’t qualify. We knew the people who harmed us by name. Perhaps not your parents specifically, but the name of the Togami Corporation, and their employees who groomed us, and their customers who bought us directly. My husband, who I love dearly, owes me far more apologies for my life as an indentured person than you do.” 

“Which he’s finally ready to face,” Maki said, rolling her eyes, “He’s going to get me a very nice crossbow. I’ve decided. And it still won’t have really made amends for everything he needs to apologize for… but I love him, and he’s trying, and we have time.”

“Exactly,” Shuichi said, before frowning at Cheri, “...still, that’s a terrible burden to carry, for so long. You are forgiven, if that’s something you need. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to hold it against you if I found it out randomly, but even more so knowing you wanted to tell me and apologize. It’s just… like you said. Not your apology to give.”

Straightening, Cheri nodded somberly…before faintly smiling. “I suppose part of it’s a bit of a selfish desire. I wasn’t a part of that system, but I was close enough to see the scope of it, and to be repulsed. I just… I don’t know, maybe some of the employees would turn a new leaf to offer justice to the thousands of people that they harmed. But as far as my birth parents are representative…I know that that’s not an apology you were ever going to get. And…it’s possible that bothers me a lot more than it ever would you.”

She shrugged a little at Shuuichi. “...I just wanted to try. Though,” she smiled a little wider at Maki, “I might confer with Kaito about what kind of crossbow he’ll get you. If not for an apology, I think it’d be nice to get extra bolts as a thank you for looking after my sister.”

Maki, briefly, smiled at that. She did end up looking after Bianka a lot, the girl had gotten quite close to Timothy. Maki thought it was a little interesting, how Timothy seemed to gravitate towards female friends. She wondered if it’d be a trend that would hold up into adulthood, and if Maki could just expect a lot of women around as Tim grew up. She didn’t mind it. They were interesting girls. 

With interesting sisters. “A part of me wants to ask you a bunch of questions about what things were like behind the curtain at the warehouses. I doubt it’d surprise you to know Shuichi and I can’t remember them. But–”

“Oh, I am curious about that!” Shuichi said, looking at Cheri with interest, “Is the amnesia a feature or a mistake?”

Cheri straightened in surprise before offering a sheepish, slightly uncomfortable smile. “My birth parents were employees, but I don’t know everything about the Togami Corporation, or the conditioning process. I was 9, at the oldest, and my birth parents weren’t home much. But…what I do know, I’ll do my best to answer your questions with.”

“As far as I understand it, the amnesia was a byproduct that became a feature?” Cheri squinted, reaching back into memories that for a long time she had tried to forget. “The trauma inflicted onto the people there tended to result in trauma-based amnesia, but the corporation saw that as a benefit, as it meant less information getting out about how the conditioning process worked. I can only assume that they worked to ensure total amnesia once that benefit was recognized.”

“Ah, damn,” Shuichi sighed leaning back into his bean bag with a pout, “I had always hoped it was the indentured conditioners who worked there trying to do something kind.”

“I think they were enslaved, actually. I highly doubt they had contracts that were going to expire.” Maki said, pointedly looking at Cheri, “We can’t blame them for not taking risks, if there was no possibility of escaping punishment.”

“We can’t?” Shuichi asked, giving Maki a somewhat surprised look.

“Seeing what the revolution required?” Maki sighed, shrugging, “I don’t know. I’m a little more forgiving to the cowards. It’s not like they didn’t have a legitimate fear. That was a lot to risk, including your own sense of…well, morality, really. I can ask people to fight to save the lives of their kin. I can’t ask them to become torturers on my behalf.”

“She means the stunt in Luminary where the freedom fighters held the farms while the capital starved,” Shuichi explained to Cheri, “Maki feels very responsible for the grief that caused. Though it was a decision made by many people,” Shuichi said pointedly over his shoulder, “Not just you.”

Maki said nothing. Just looking tired.

“Anyway, it’s not really your responsibility to know how any of it worked either,” Shuichi smiled at Cheri, “And I don’t have many questions anyway. That was always just a pet theory of mine and I was curious. But seriously, at least with myself and Maki? Don’t feel responsible. You weren’t even there. And parents that didn’t bother to raise you aren’t your real parents anyway.”

Cheri gave them a look so surprised it almost bordered on alarmed. Perhaps they would know that some Indentured people had worked for the corporation, but, even still talking in that realm, even describing it as enslavement…

From what she remembered, fuzzy, off-hand mentions of their coworkers and…dirty, blood-stained memos, the Birkins had been something of outliers, when it had come to the Togami Empaths. The Birkins had…reveled in their experiments on the human mind. Saw their jobs torturing people as opportunities of a lifetime to understand and enhance the psyche, to bring the mind to another level of evolution. Her birth parents had been thrilled to work for Togami. 

The other Empaths she could remember being called “uninspired” and “roadblocks to invention”...had been prisoners. Cheri could remember seeing the revelation on Clara’s face, the moment of hope in the worst night of their lives, that…maybe some people could be saved. 

Honestly, Cheri still held onto the hope that some of them had just escaped without a trace. But even with all the times Clara and Lio had covered her eyes, there had been so many bodies…

Cheri nodded, thanking Shuuichi for his explanation of Maki’s very personal understanding, and…she took a breath, smiling softly at them. “Thank you. And…I do agree. I may have shared blood with the Birkins, but…Lio has been my dad ever since I left Luminary. He, uh…”

Tucking a slightly damp bit of hair behind her ear, Cheri grinned warily. “...he…actually doesn’t know that I’m here, telling you two all this. I understand if it’s more drama than you want to engage with, but…I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell my dad.” She shrugged, though there was a fondness in her eyes. “He’s a bit protective, and him acting on those feelings while you’ve been nothing but understanding would just be embarrassing.”

“Consider your apology accepted, and forgotten,” Maki said, pushing off the wall and heading to the door, “Along with everything around it. Cheri, you coming to the show and tell they’re doing for the class friday?” She asked, waiting by the door for an answer, “Apparently the kids are doing another skit.”

Cheri smiled softly. Maybe all this didn’t mean much but…she was still glad she did it. 

Getting up, she nodded. “I am! Bianka’s been so excited for it, she’s been petitioning Dad to let Nela skip school to come. I think they’re both planning on it, but just beating around the bush for appearances.”

“Ah, so,” she gave Shuuichi a sheepish smile, “I will be leaving campus early on Friday, by the way.”

Maki nodded, heading off, closing the door behind her. Shuichi laughed, before saying, “Perhaps I’ll come too, since you and Maki are going. The skits usually are very fun. And it tickles me all the time to realize that, somehow, despite there being no biological connection and Timothy was absolutely not raised into it, he’s slooooowly becoming a theater kid like his father. Seriously, that is such a bizarre coincidence, and not what I would have expected from a quiet, serious kid with stage fright. The power of having loud, flamboyant friends, I guess.”

Shuichi would know.

“Maki might want to just forget it and never bring it up again, but… if you ever need to talk to someone about it?” Shuichi said, “Just, the indentured program and how it affected you… I know it hit us in different ways, but that still leaves me to better understand than most people around here. The Program mutilated everyone it touched. You didn’t escape that, and neither did I. You can always commiserate with me, if you want to.” 

“You know, his performance during Harvest was so phenomenal I should’ve guessed Kaito’s into theater,” Cheri softly laughed. “That’s so sweet, though. Bia’s always had a dramatic flair, but I never would’ve guessed she would get into performing like this. It’s been wonderful, seeing her friendship with Timothy, Cali, and Kimiko grow.”

Her expression softened soon after at Shuuichi’s offer. “...thanks, Shuuichi, I appreciate it.” She thought for a moment before sighing. “...I’m not sure how much I actually want to get into it, but I know you like having context… The Birkins worked in the NEST branch of the corporation, by the border.” Cheri smiled grimly. “The NEST Incident is…why I ended up in Dicea.”

After a moment, she blushed lightly, looking sheepish. “If I remember right, with you being a few years older than me…you would’ve already been a Royal Detective at the time, but that’s going to be pretty embarrassing if you have no idea what I’m talking about.”

“The gas leak?” Shuichi frowned, “I recall, though, mostly I recall it as the time when my mentor essentially locked me in my room for a month. Maki experienced the same thing. One of the warehouse’s exploded, they both had to go look into it, and they recruited other indentured’s to basically ensure Maki and I were out of sight and mind.”

“...Maki lost an older sibling, to that investigation.” Shuichi said, glancing at the door of the nursery, something sad in his eyes, “She was looking to be the actual next Royal Assassin, and joined Nekomaru when he was sent out. She never returned. Mr. Nidai told Maki that essentially she just saw something she shouldn’t have, and if Maki didn’t want to disappear too, to not look into it. So she never did.”

“...Maki became more interested in revolution, after that incident,” Shuichi said softly, “It was a lot of things, of course, it always is. But losing her last fellow trainee not to mistakes, but to execution… it just changed something in Maki. Maybe took the illusion of anything ‘fair’ in how we were being trained away. Assassins see things they weren’t supposed to all the time. Their own people shouldn’t kill them for it.”

“So, yes,” Shuichi smiled lightly, “I know of the incident. Though, under strict orders from my mentor, I only ever knew it as a terrible but ultimately minor accident.”

Something heavy came over Cheri’s shoulders when Shuuichi told her that Maki had lost a sibling. What happened that night, the Incident, was no more Cheri’s fault than the Indentured Program, but…well, like it, Cheri was close enough for connected tragedies to ache. 

“...there was a lot not meant to be seen about the Incident,” Cheri nodded somberly, quietly, before taking a bracing breath. It had been a long time since she considered herself a Luminary, but…she was glad things were changing now. And hopefully no one would die like Maki’s sibling again. 

“I imagine,” Shuichi said, because he could, “I’ve always thoughts my lack of concrete memories that has made me less obsessed with the warehouse. I can remember entering, and I can remember leaving, but… that’s really it. Someone told me, once, that they could help get those memories back? And I refused. Why re-suffer torture I already endured once.”

“But, as cruel as this might be to say for Maki’s sibling, and all the people lost…” Shuichi looked to Cheri, smiling lightly, “I suppose one good thing came from it. I’m glad you escaped, Cheri. Dicea is a beautiful place to grow up. I don’t regret that for you.”

Cheri gave him a curious look, but nodded in understanding. Knowledge was power, sure, but some things really were better left forgotten. The Program was dismantled, and it wasn’t like knowing how conditioning was inflicted onto people would let you know how to undo it. So what was there to gain from the memories of the warehouse, other than trauma your brain naturally wanted to forget anyway?

And, well…she had doubts anything that happened there had helped Shuuichi grow as a person. So he didn’t have to carry that particular burden. 

Smiling softly, Cheri returned a grateful look to Shuuichi. “Thank you. I struggled for a long time to feel alright about how…lucky I am, when the indirect cost was so high. But my own suffering isn’t going to change that debt, or help anyone affected. If there’s still a direction I want to push my efforts towards, then…I should just work on making the world better in general, with the things I’m capable of. To me, that makes my life meaningful, and…that’s something I can live with.”

“There you go,” Shuichi smiled… before leaning in and smirking, “But it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes too, just to take care of yourself. I know, that might seem silly for me to bring up, its just… a revelation I’ve been working through for the last six months or so. Take care of others, take care of yourself. It’ll all be okay.”

Shuichi lightly rubbed the bandage with his thumb. It had taken a long time to get to ‘okay’ there, but… it didn’t feel like a lie, or a platitude. He felt okay. And okay was good.

Standing up, Shuichi said, “Now, if I can selfishly move you along a bit? I’d quite like to hug my daughter and give my husbands some news. Don’t hesitate to tell me if you need to talk again, Cheri.”

Cheri laughed softly. “That’s some lovely advice I’ll take to heart. And yes, thank you for hearing me out, especially just out of the rain. I’ll be in touch, see you at school.” With a small wave, she left the nursery, on her way back home. 

…or maybe to a cafe then home. It would be nice to come back with some drinks for her family to share together. 

-

Shuichi went back into the room and sighed, sitting on the bed and watching Kaito and Miyako, who were both playing in front of the fireplace, the window wide open. “Kaito, if you’re trying to warm the room, why is the window open?”

“I’m not trying to warm the room! I’m trying to bake. Me and Miyaaaaa are little toasty baking buds now,” Kaito grinned, laying on his back and over and over lifting Miyako over his head, hearing her squeal in excitement as he prepped her with, “One–two–three–UP SHE GOES!”

Miyako giggled and squirmed as she suddenly zoomed up, Kaito tilting her one side then the other, before declaring, “Annnnd THERE SHE LANDS!” Before bringing her back down onto his chest, kissing her cheeks a few times before asking her, “Isn’t it nice toasting by the fire, Miya? Yeah, I leave the window open so we don’t get too hot. Cold coming in and fire on is perfect combo, handsome.”

“Even with the rain?” Shuichi asked, raising an eyebrow at the wet window frame.

“Oh, is it raining?” Kaito asked, craning his neck back to peek at the open window, “Ooooooh… well, way too late now, that things been open for hours. Maybe it’s not that wet? What do you think, Miya? If we don’t check the window seat, it’s not wet, right? What we don’t know can’t make us clean it up? Mmm yeah?” Kaito grinned, kissing her cheeks some more, before peering up at Shuichi, “Enjoy Nini time, handsome?”

“Actually, I went out.” Shuichi said, just as the door started to jiggle.

Unlocking the door, Kokichi shuffled in with a suppressed yawn before his face lit up, seeing his husbands and daughter all in the room. “Hey! Aw, I wasn’t sure if you guys were going to be here--you finished your rituals for today?”

Kokichi had felt a bit bad about not spending much time with his family to observe Saint Sarah-Mei’s Day, but…well, John Doe’s court case was still going on. It really felt like any day now they could close it, and by this point Kokichi could pretty much guess the jury’s verdict and what sort of recompense would be ordered, but…little bits of investigation kept coming up, and they couldn’t end the case until everything had been discussed. 

At least Doppio seemed to be keeping in fine spirits about it. 

Padding over to the bed, Kokichi kissed Shuuichi’s kiss in hello, giving him a squeeze of a hug, before heading over to Kaito and Miyako…though he raised an eyebrow at the open window. Hmm… Cleaning the sill was something they could do later but…Kokichi might mention it to Hajime, so they could keep an eye and prevent any mold growth. 

Shuichi kissed Kokichi, before following him over to the fire. Though, rather then join them on the floor, he decided to sit in their often neglected fireplace seats. Shuichi wasn’t sure why they virtually never used these. Probably because the fireplace area was just ever so slightly out of the way of the window area and the bed/desk area, and it wasn’t easy to chat from there when everyone was spread out. 

Yeah. That made sense.

But they were nice when everyone was hanging around the fireplace anyway, Shuichi pulled in his legs to sit on them a little as he watched Kaito beam at Kokichi’s approach, sitting up and holding Miyako in front of his face, saying in ‘her’ voice, “Look, look! It’s daddy! Oh my god, I’m so excited to see you daddy! Give Miya kisses?”

Kokichi giggled as he settled on the floor, stroking his thumb up over Miyako’s forehead as he sent her a little bubble of love. “Daddy’s excited to see you too, Mi-Mi, I missed you alllll day. I got really jealous of Grampy, hanging out with you this morning.” Leaning in, he kissed her cheeks, smiling wider as he could feel her excitement and joy. 

And there was one more kiss recipient he needed to appease. Leaning down, Kokichi kissed Kaito, sighing happily in his space before he settled comfortably. “Sorry if I interrupted anything when I came in. What have you all been up to?”

“Nah, you didn’t interrupt anything,” Kaito assured, settling Miyako down on his lap, grinning cheerfully down at her as he said, “We finished our rituals pretty early honestly, only even took an hour because we spent a while sitting around and chatting. Some sidekicks decided all they wanted to do was listen to Kaito pray by himself.”

“You did such a good job, why interrupt?” Shuichi asked.

“Mmmhm~” Kaito gave Miyako his hand to play with, Miyako grabbing it and trying in her little baby might to tear the fingers apart, as Kaito said lightly, “And I knoooow dada’s gonna tell us what’s up with that bandage around his hand annnnny minute. And it’s not gonna be any weird silly lies. It’s definitely gonna be related to the smoke smell, isn’t it Miyaaaa?”

Shuichi raised an eyebrow– he had hoped that the smoke smell would have gotten washed out by the rain, honestly– before he sighed lightly, “I have and had every intention of telling you what happened. I just wanted to settle in first.”

“Mmmhm~” Kaito hummed happily, looking up at Shuichi, “...do something that scary today? I can’t remember the last time I saw you with a cigarette.”

“It was… nerve wracking, yes.” Shuichi said, “But it ended well.”

Damn. If it had been an hour, maybe Kokichi could’ve gotten away to spend that time with his family…but maybe it was alright. As much as he did want to learn and respect Atua, as his family observed the religion…there was something to them just getting to pray and do rituals as they wanted, without having to provide explanation. Maybe next year would be less hectic and Kokichi could ask to come. 

But if it only took an hour, then there was a lot more that happened that day. 

Kokichi hadn’t noticed the bandage or the smell, but he had noticed…not nerves, exactly. Shuuichi didn’t seem nervous. But…he maybe had a certain amount of trepidation, or…like he was on a precipice. Not a steep one, not some horrible moment or secret-keeping…but not something insignificant. 

Significant enough to smoke, apparently. 

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Kokichi hummed in surprise, before he smiled softly. “Thanks for not doing it around me. And I’m really glad that things went well for you.” For a moment, he looked at his husband, before asking more gently, “Did…it have to do with today? Or was Shuu-chan getting to some other business?”

“I don’t, really,” Shuichi said, before hesitating, “...well, I do, but it’s more a nervous habit than anything else. I tried to start smoking when I was young because Miss Kirigiri does it, and, well, I always wanted to do what she was doing. But I found the only times I could stand it was when I needed essentially something to focus on when I’m… well, scared. I think it’s mostly a placebo affect I’ve accidentally trained myself into, but it helps.”

Kaito nodded along with that– he had watched Shuichi develop that habit, growing up– before he gave Shuichi a concerned look, “Alright, come on then. What’s got the supernatural detective spooked?”

“I’m not a detective here yet, Kaito,” Shuichi reminded him, before looking away. Now he wished he was wearing his hat, as he fussed with his bangs a bit, “...It went well,” he stressed again, before saying, “I went to see Nao.”

“...damn,” Kaito whispered, looking around for Little Lamb and pulling them from where they had been last tossed onto the ground, making them dance in front of Miyako, “Yeah, I thought your head might go there today… geez, Shuichi, I wish you had told us before you went.”

“I would have lost the courage.” Shuichi admitted, “I couldn’t hesitate.”

Kokichi nodded as well, not because he’d already known, like Kaito, but because Shuuichi just explained the habit well. He supposed that he didn’t actually know, but Kokichi liked to think that the fact that a year and some months in, he hadn’t known that Shuuichi smoked was a good sign that he hadn’t been…at least that brand of scared. It didn’t seem quite right that it was an intensity thing, but, at the same time…that kind of proved how genuinely shaken Shuuichi had been today. 

Scooting closer to Shuuichi’s chair, Kokichi gently leaned his head on his husband’s knee, wanting to show a little physical support and affection. And…

Kokichi’s eyes widened a bit, before his expression softened and he patted Shuuichi’s knee as well. “I can understand that… And I’m glad it went well. How…” He looked up, searching Shuuichi’s face. “...how are you feeling about it?”

“I’m surprisingly okay, all things considered,” Shuichi said softly, lightly petting through Kokichi’s hair when he leaned against him, “There was a moment where I thought I might… panic or run or something. But it only lasted a moment, and then the fear…”

Shuichi hesitated, before admitting, “It didn’t entirely go away, for a while. I couldn’t really get close to her for a bit. I just knew I was emotionally stuck. I was tired of this confrontation hanging over my head. I’ve been afraid of it accidentally happening a thousand times. I felt like I was walking on pins each harvest out, because in the back of my mind she was there, somewhere, and I was just waiting to run into her. And I just… I can’t live my life like that. Just terrified to be out in the world, because ‘what if’. Besides, I needed answers for some things.”

“Got some of the memories cleared up?” Kaito asked, keeping his cool by focusing on Miyako. Even having had his moment with Nao, hearing Shuichi talking about being afraid and nervous just made Kaito want to go yell at her all over again. Just frustrated with her existence. “You’ve mentioned to me a few times how much that’s been messing with you.”

“Yeah,” Shuichi sighed, closing his eyes, “Not all of them, but once I got one cleared up, I was kind of spent. Who knows when I’ll ever ask her about it again. It took a lot just to ask what I did.”

“So,” Kaito glanced at Shuichi’s hand, “How did talking to her lead to the burn? Genuine accident?”

Shuichi looked at his palm, before shaking his head, “...I demanded she get into a submission bow,” Shuichi said dryly, “I figured a mutual maiming was going to be the only way I could get away with it. Plus, it just made me feel better. I still think her intentions did matter, a bit. I felt guilty for how much she… well, threw away, as penance for wanting to help me. She can’t help that she’s a bit dim.”

Kokichi smiled ruefully. Shuuichi was braver than him, not giving in to panic and the impulse to run…though, in fairness, Shuuichi had sought out this confrontation. Tired of what if’s and potential fear, letting potential ruin the safety and security of what should be the world at his fingertips… Kokichi was really proud of Shuuichi for standing up for that. 

“I’m really proud of you,” Kokichi hummed, half hugging Shuuichi’s legs. “Shuu-chan was really brave, and I’m so happy for the steps you’re taking for…betterment. For the world to be a better place for you.”

He looked up, frowning a little at the bandage. “...I do wish you weren’t hurt, but…I understand. You got it all treated alright?”

“I put some aloe on it,” Shuichi promised, running his fingers lightly through Kokichi’s hair, “...I do wish I had talked to you about it first, Kokichi,” Shuichi admitted, “I was worried this would upset you.”

Kokichi hummed softly, happy with the assurance…and the fingers in his hair. Though he was a little surprised by Shuuichi’s wish, and he looked up, eyebrows raised. Then he drew in a soft sigh. 

“No, I’m not upset,” he shook his head, “I really am happy for you. Shuu-chan’s deserved closure for a long time, and I’m happy you got it. That you got what you needed. Of course I want to always support you, but I really do understand you just needing to act on this, not letting yourself have any moment to think and let yourself call it off. I’m not upset you didn’t mention it.”

Kokichi sighed again, shifting to nestle his chin between Shuuichi’s knees, smiling softly. “...I am starting to feel a little silly, though. Kai-chan’s talked to her, you’ve talked to her… It feels like I’ve fallen behind. But…I still don’t think I’m ready.”

“It’s sure as heck not a race,” Kaito muttered, patting Miyako’s stomach gently. Almost food time baby girl. Time to fill that pudgy little tummy, “The only reason I managed was because I was trying to harass her and kinda messed it up. Which, doesn’t that just kinda fit us? Shuichi eventually makes the decision to confront the jerk, I accidentally confront the jerk by trying to be the jerk, and you, ‘Kichi… well, you sincerely believe in that live and let live stuff. You’re just… letting her live. It fits you.”

“Playing into our own stereotypes, huh?” Kokichi laughed softly. Before he went quiet, sighing again. Rubbing Shuuichi’s leg as he looked up at him. “...I can’t imagine you’d say it went well if so, but…she wasn’t cruel to you while you talked, was she?”

“She apologized to me before I really had a chance to say anything at first,” Shuichi said, noting the approving little nod from Kaito at that, “Truthfully, I hadn’t gone with strict plans to forgive her. I actually went to apologize–”

Kaito sighed, clicking his tongue. Apparently trying to keep himself from gritting his teeth while Miyako was looking directly at him, “Handsome…”

“She never actually accepted an apology, so, I guess she agrees with you,” Shuichi smirked lightly, “I just… needed to say it to her. Because I felt too insecure about my memories of what happened to allow myself to be as angry as… I really needed to be. And, admittedly, once she insisted it really had been her and it really had been bad, and that it wasn’t entirely just me making up memories? I got… a bit testy.”

“Thus the burn mark?” Kaito guessed.

“She’s left enough marks on me,” Shuichi said grimly, “What’s one burn mark in comparison to what she did? I don’t regret it.”

“She’s lucky you didn’t ask for more,” Kaito agreed, his own shoulders relaxing. For him, it’d probably never really be ‘all done and good’. His love for Shuichi left him with a bias that no ritual could really appease. It was the same reason he still couldn’t really forgive himself for how he treated Kokichi, or Chisa for what she did to Kokichi, or Aba and Tom and Itch… Kaito could never entirely forgive people who had hurt his loved ones. Not them, not… Byakuya. Or Kaede. Or his parents. And himself again…

Maybe that lack of being able to let go would leave Kaito lonely, in other circumstances. Thankfully he had plenty of loved ones still, to want to defend them from the other half. 

“But the point is, I needed to apologize, to let myself feel angry. To feel wronged. It didn’t really matter if she forgave me or not, I just needed to the emotional space to just…” Shuichi scowled, eyes darkening, “Hate her. For a bit. Without giving her the benefit of the doubt, or regretting my part in it, or any of the other maddening things that kept me from just screaming in her face. I couldn’t forgive her until I really allowed myself to be angry with her. And I couldn’t be angry until I apologized.”

Kokichi closed his eyes with a small nod. Shuuichi had no obligation to ever forgive Nao. Even just the generalizations Kokichi knew of what had happened…it didn’t seem like something forgivable. But you didn’t need to forgive to have peace, and…Kokichi felt like a part of getting that peace would come from finally getting a direct apology from Nao, even if Shuuichi didn’t forgive her. He’d talked before about how he just wanted to hear her admit that she’d been wrong. Kokichi hoped that hearing that really helped as much as his husband had wanted it to. 

And while Kokichi agreed that there was nothing for Shuuichi to apologize for, that didn’t change the feelings Shuuichi had. And since they had been holding him back from getting angry, from getting that catharsis from his justified anger…well, it hadn’t sounded like Shuuichi had needed to be forgiven either, to get that release. So…it worked out. 

Morally, Kokichi still didn’t agree with that anger being expressed in harm, especially when it hurt Shuuichi too…but he wasn’t particularly worried about Nao’s safety from something that only needed some aloe and a relatively small bandage, and he wasn’t worried about her pressing charges. 

Kokichi hugged and nuzzled Shuuichi’s knees. “...I’m glad you were able to get to that point.” He huffed a small laugh. “It’s going to be an interesting appointment, next therapy time, huh.”

“Well, that will at least keep Dr. Mariah entertained. I swear, when we all said we were doing alright last session, I think I saw disappointment on her,” Kaito snickered, “She does say she finds us fascinating. Wonder when we’re gonna get too healthy for her to enjoy?”

“She also feeds on emotions, remember.” Shuichi reminded him, “I’m sure she’s not actually disappointed. I bet she was just hungry.”

“Oh, yeah! Oh,” Kaito pouted, bouncing Miyako in his lap, “Well, shoot, next time if we’re not feeding her enough, I’ll offer to let her bully me a bit till I get sad, that should help.”

“You will actually not do that, since I am certain a very real part of you means that,” Shuichi said, “We’ve earned an emotional break… well, as much as dealing with those boys and a massive court case and randomly confronting old rapists counts as a ‘break’.”

“Our bar is sooooo low~” Kaito coo’d at Miyako, who giggled up at dad, “Isn’t it, Miyaaaa~ Who’s got such a low bar? Your paaaaapa’s~”

Kaito brought Miyako up to smooch her on the cheek… before smirking at Shuichi, “Eyyyy maybe to tie it all up today, we should do the kinda prayer Maki was too busy tutting at us to let us do, ehhhhh? Ey? Handsome? Another trip to the shriiiiine, lock the dooooor~”

“...” Shuichi squinted at Kaito, “If you want the shrine instead of the bath, it’s because you’re hoping for–”

“JUST WRECK ME ALREADY PLEASE I’M BEEEEEGGING YOU!” Kaito whined, holding Miyako to his chest as he flopped back onto his back, literally kicking the floor with the back of his heel as he groaned, “I want it sooooo bad!! Ruin me!! I don’t care if I never walk again!”

“I’m sure that’s a long time out,” Kokichi huffed a laugh. Just because they were doing alright, having gotten their long-awaited, low-bar emotional break didn’t mean that they were suddenly people that could handle everything in life perfectly with no strain. Really, not having immediate crises to talk about just meant that they could finally double back on tons of topics that they’d left by the wayside over the past months. Checking in, beating those horses, confirming emotional stability. Good stuff. 

The topic Kaito brought up next, though, had Kokichi laughing with a bit more gusto before he shook his head, straightening off of Shuuichi a little to stretch. “I think you would care. Disabilities are far from the end of the world, but Kai-chan is too restless to start from the beginning of not being able to walk.”

Getting up, he held his arms out for Miyako. “If you guys do want to go pray, I can watch Mi-Mi--it’s about mealtime anyway, isn’t it? I can feed her.”

Kaito shot up, passing Miyako– who giggled in delight, yes, new papa time– before looking hopefully at Shuichi, who pointedly didn’t look at him. Kaito scooted around Kokichi, looking up at Shuichi with big, eager eyes, before kissing at his husbands thighs, “Please? Please, Shuichi? Just ruin me a little, just a little bit, I won’t cry, I promise, I’m gonna be so good.”

“Kaito, it’ll take so long–”

“It’s only the middle of the day and our good ‘Kichi is here to look after Miyako and he sooooo doesn’t mind if it’s a while because he knows how haaaappy it’d make me, please, spoil me, just a little bit, please?”

Shuichi raised an eyebrow, before chuckling in genuine amusement, “You are really pent up, huh?”

“Handsome, handsome, you have no idea,” Kaito said, nipping at Shuichi’s leg, just enough to get his attention before giving him big, begging eyes again, “It’ll be good, I’ll make it so good, promise.”

“...” Shuichi glanced at Kokichi with a ‘can you believe this?’ look, before yawning and stretching, “Fin–eep!”

“Yes!” Kaito crowed, swooping Shuichi up into his arms, Shuichi looking incredibly off guard now that he was just In The Air, as Kaito beamed down at Kokichi, “It’s good, we’re good, for real?”

Kokichi laughed, giving a twirl with Miyako in his arms {if Dada gets a ride, so does Mi-Mi~} before he looked at his husbands adoringly…and with some vested interest. “It’s good, we’re good, for real. You two have fun, alright? I’m going to thoroughly enjoy some Daddy-Daughter time, and I expect some great stories later.”

A little softer, he did concede, “...I would still like to have dinner together later, if you can make that work out, though.”

Kaito squirmed a little, shifting his weight from foot to foot, considering the likely hood they could be done by dinner… before asking, “Iiiiif we don’t show up, could you bring food to us and eat with us?”

“Kaito!” Shuichi said, looking a bit scandalized, “We’ll be filthy!”

“You ate off my body.” Kaito said, giving Shuichi a ‘what are you complaining about look’... before he smirked, “We could play with the food, handsome~ Can you imagine? We’re taking a small break, and there comes our beautiful Kokichi with warm food, all energized and looking fresh~”

Shuichi opened his mouth to argue on instinct… before pausing. “...hmmm.”

Kokichi snorted, his chest shaking with giggles. “Alright, I can see who’s free to babysit if that happens. I’ll see you guys later. Love you~”

-

Considering their rather clipped pace through Luminary and Dicea, it wasn’t often they were around anywhere long enough to just…breathe. Usually Deere did end up seeing the local market of wherever they were, was at least told about some of the bigger attractions, had just…marveled at the Dicean agricultural fields that seemed to be outside every town (and those weren’t even the major farms), usually ended up seeing a pub or two, making sure all of their group stayed together in some form or fashion… But for this being the King-Consort’s vacation, there wasn’t a lot of…vacation time. Other than Sou sleeping a majority of the days away, which…well, Deere would call that a pretty good vacation too. 

But, rather unceremoniously, Deere had found himself with some true downtime, hotspot check outs and needed naps already done. And…well, with the abundance of fresh foods practically pouring out of the Ursa Falls’ market, and cheap to boot… Why not indulge a little?

He’d gotten permission for some kitchen space and was making full use of it. Berry souffles with some of the freshest, plumpest berries Deere had ever seen that he hadn’t picked himself, and while the flavors didn’t match, he had been so curious about the ‘white peaches’ he had seen on display. They were so much larger than any peaches he had seen before, were a little harder and had a more subtle, but still distinctively peach-y flavor… Well, he just had to make peach madeleines, didn’t he? And a fruity light roasted coffee would pair best with both treats, wouldn’t it?

…he didn’t even know if Sou would want something resembling a ‘tea time’, but…welll. This was an indulgence on Deere’s part. And he’d never really been a fan of eating all the sweets he made himself. 

“Come now, your grace, we’re a non-judgment religion! Which means I will not judge! If there was anyone you wanted to let Sarah-Mei know you have grievances you need to make up with them, or express regret for–”

“I regret not vetting the position ‘Caravan Priestess’ personally.” Shin said dryly, wandering into the kitchen area less out of a desire to be in the kitchen, and more out of an endless attempt to shake Priestess Selka, as he said, “Ah, there’s our capable butler. Why don’t you ask him about who he’s in a hate relationship with lately.”

“Don’t tease, your grace, kismetitude relationships can be some of the most important in our lives, and Atua tells us to embrace relationships of all sorts.” Priestess Selka advised, before beaming at Deere, “Deere, we were just discussing you! Any relationships you wish to pray to our good and merciful Saint Sarah-Mei about?”

Deere froze, a moment of panic shocking through him as he looked like…well, a deer in carriage-light, if not for the constantly tired set of his face. He…had thought Sou was busy, and didn’t need his services, so…

It quickly became…at least reasonably apparent that Sou and Selka hadn’t actually been looking for him for work, so Deere relaxed, returning to the diced peach in the pot he was cooking down a bit with some sugar while the souffles and madeleines baked. Thankfully, forgiveness would not need to be extended his way today. 

For this, at least. 

“Making sure all in our company are taken care of for the day, Priestess?” Deere asked, looking over at her, though he didn’t stop stirring. A slight frown on his lips. 

…maybe indulging in his second favorite hobby wasn’t as…spontaneous today, as he’d thought. 

“...I’m afraid I have not much to say to Our Lady Mercy this year. Maybe the next.”

“Oh, that’s quite alright, dear, a year is plenty of time to make some good ol’ fashion enemies!” Priestess Selka assured him cheerfully, “That you will be able to get the emotional– and sometimes physical!-- catharsis of making amends with next year! Don’t give up!”

“Why does he get to not have anyone to pray about, and I get harassed for twenty minutes?” Shin demanded, heading over to Deere. Partially to peek at what he was doing, but mostly because Deere had a bit of a calming presence around Selka. Not that Selka got calmer, just that she tended to divide her attention more around Deere, which was very calming for Shin.

“Well, your grace, you were a part of a major civil war and political coup, not that long ago,” Priestess Selka said, her smile not wavering at all in the reminder, “I imagine there was at least one or two people you may have wronged… or! Who may have wronged you! The holiday’s about both!’

“That was really Kaede’s passion project. National political coups are sort of her hobby, you understand. As her husband, I’ve learned to just go to another room if she’s plotting over a war map.” Shin said, not entirely kidding. If Rantaro hadn’t always dragged him out first, Shin always booked it the hell out of any room where he might See Too Much and end up locked in the basement for another damn month. No need to lock him away if no one had noticed him peeking his head into the room.

“Ah, what an exciting time it must have been, living in the home of Queen Kaede as she was guided by Atua towards her divine destiny,” Priestess Selka gushed without a hint of sarcasm or irony. Shin was either impressed, or deeply sad for her as Priestess Selka seemed to genuinely say, “I bet you could just feel the guiding hands of the saints in the air!”

“Sure, something like that.” Shin said, mostly remembering a constant, endless, nagging tension. “What are you making, Deere?”

A flex of tension went through Deere’s jaw, his hand tightening on the spoon he was using for the peaches. Right…because he definitely needed to make enemies to make amends with. He was lucky, really. With just one little change, Deere bet he’d be hounded right about now, disapproving from all angles, wondering why he hadn’t apologized yet.

(It wasn’t him that needed to apologize, and it wasn’t his fault just because he was just some servant and she was a noble, it wasn’t up to him to--)

Very carefully and controlled, Deere let out a breath, letting go of the agitation. …it didn’t matter. 

Plotting a course that changed the entire trajectory of their country was something that seemed like it mattered a whole lot, but…Deere supposed that with the queen managing so much, it could’ve felt different for Sou. Still, he gave Sou a mildly curious look before grunting softly. 

“Peach madeleines and berry souffles, you grace. …actually…” Deere’s voice softly trailed off as he looked at the timers he’d been using, before stepping back and grabbing some pot warmers. “You’re just in time. I had planned on offering you them, but if you’re here… Souffle is best right out of the oven…if you’d like.”

Deftly, Deere pulled out a tray of medium-sized ramekins filled with a puffed indigo baked good, quickly followed by a series of fluted molds with golden-colored little cakes in them. “I’ve reserved fresh raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries, along with a berry syrup for the top, along with coffee to have as soon as the dishes are safe to touch. The madeleines, however, need time to cool, before I fill them with the peach compote I’m currently making,” Deere explained. 

Shin raised an eyebrow at the display while beside him Priestess Selka clapped in delight. “...Deere, what on earth were you hired for on this trip?” Shin asked, “Because I think the coordinator might have woefully misplaced you, not making you the chef.”

“He is so talented, isn’t he? Truly a gift from Atua,” the priestess beamed, “His grace will of course gracefully accept such a delightful banquet, Deere.”

“Oh, I will?” Shin asked, giving the priestess a dry look, “That’s presumptive.”

“I am blessed in all things!” Priestess Selka said, like that was an explanation, “May I have some as well?”

Deere blinked, finally pausing, before he ducked into himself, blushing with a small smile. “Thank you, King Sou. But respectfully, I believe I am better utilized not spending my days solely dedicated to feeding 30 people--I have time, for example, to specifically cater to you. And I have great respect for Chef Bourdain’s craft.”

“My excellence in baked goods comes more from a hobby, than a vocational pursuit,” he finished, lightly bowing before, diced peaches safe for the moment, he brought over a pot that had been sitting on a backburner. Swirling it lightly, he used a spoon to ladle over a deep, rich-colored purple sauce on two of the ramekins, before spooning extra into smaller cups. Bringing over a bowl, he selected two of each variety of berry and arranged them pleasingly on the souffles, before adding single mint leaves, and ending the presentation with a light dusting of powdered sugar. 

Deere then moved the ramekins and accompanying cups onto individual plates, before humming belatedly. “Ah, these are still a bit hot… Yes, you may have some, Selka. I can move these into the dining area, if you’d like.”

“And be the envy of everyone stuck with Chef Bourdaine’s meal today?” Shin huffed, happily accepting the plate and just sitting at the kitchen counter, “They’d riot just to get their hands on you.”

“They’re already rioting a bit,” Priestess Selka tittered, taking her first bite and, “...mmmmh, oh. That’s…. Mmm,” she shivered, before saying brightly, “I had a few people ask me if Deere would be joining us in prayer this morning. I won’t say who, but you have yourself some admirers, Deere. It was very sweet, I felt a bit of a jerk to tell them you don’t participate in prayer sessions like that.”

Ha, imagine that… People clamoring for his service? He knew he was good. Deere smiled to himself as he just moved the plates closer to where there was counter seating and bowed to Sou and Selka, moving back to give the peaches another stir… Just about there, yeah, he could take these off the heat…

It was nice to be sought after…in certain ways. 

Deere heaved a sigh, grimacing. “I appreciate your intervention, Selka. Even for ritualistic purposes, I’m not interested in…any of that right now.” Maybe ever. Maybe Deere would just find a hole to crawl into and wither away alone and forgotten…that sounded nice. The most peaceful nap in the world. 

…he could be allowed some dramatics in his head. 

Priestess Selka giggled, before shrugging, “You’re not unique, in not performing prayer physically. You know, most don’t, if you can believe it.”

“People don’t want to randomly sleep around as a general rule?” Shin asked, deadpan, “Shocking. You’re going to tell me most people are a little socially awkward and shy next.”

“I just mean to say, that every time I have someone confide in me that they prefer not to physically pray, they always have this look of scandal on their expression. Like, on no, I’m the only Luminary who’s too shy or uninterested in doing so,” Selka said, rolling her eyes and giggling a bit, “Everyone assumes they’re the strange ones, when it’s really very common. Usually my prayers rooms are filled up with the same handful of people who just really enjoy the practice of it.”

“What is the cleaning process of that like?” Shin asked, genuinely curious, though his nose wrinkled the second he asked, “I mean, they can be used at any time. Do you… try to go behind them every time, or…?”

“We leave wipes behind and encourage people to clean up before they go,” Priestess Selka said brightly, “My, these really are very good, Deere.”

Yeah… It seemed rare when prayer rooms were completely filled. Even the most lax believers had at least been inside of a temple--or whatever was serving as a temple--at least once or twice, but those that showed up to every service? Who took part in rituals? Who conducted their own prayers personally? It tended to be just a fraction of any given group, in Deere’s experience. 

Pouring out some coffee for Sou and Selka, Deere…got a little caught in his head. He supposed it could be a little gross to think about, but…he’d always found the prayer rooms to be pretty clean, though he hadn’t been interested in making a data set of the times it had been from the priestesses’ cleaning, or self-service. But more than clean…they had been private. Discrete…at least if you knew how to make them that way effectively. People didn’t ask questions if you headed into a temple, and if the priestesses gossiped, it was only among themselves. 

(It had felt freeing, like everything had been with--)

Deere blinked, registering his name, and he looked over at Selka. Looked at the bit of sugar on the counter he’d been cleaning in circles…longer than he should have. “Thank you, Selka. I’m glad you like it.”

If Shin and Selka noticed Deere’s melancholy, neither of them mentioned it, as Selka suddenly clapped her hands together, “I believe a tournament would be quite entertaining!”

“...that was incredibly random,” Shin said, looking warily at the priestess, “No.”

“A tournament of strength! We’ve been on the move so much that none of our people have really had much time to flex and train their muscles, and I think it’s spreading a restless energy around–”

“I already said no.”

“--that I believe a good old fashioned sparring tournament would help them shake!” Selka continued brightly, continuing on as Shin muttered ‘am I king or not?’, “We could have a reward for first place, and perhaps we could even entice some of the locals to join! A true Luminary/Dicea bonding moment!”

“I have no reason to believe Dicean’s spar,” Shin pointed out, “And people get too overzealous in spars, I don’t need a bunch of injured party members trying to limp along.”

“Then we separate the three carriages, and have them RACE to the next town–”

“Absolutely not,” Shin frowned, “What, are you bored?”

“Well, your grace, you haven’t exactly been doing much of… anything. This vacation.” Priestess Selka tutted, looking away from Shin’s glare as she said, “So I thought I’d provide you opportunities to make some fun memories!”

Deere looked up, giving Selka a skeptical look at her spontaneous suggestions. He could imagine quite a lot of people from their company - er, party, jumping at the idea of a tournament. He hadn’t noticed people being bored, exactly--between the frequency of their movement between towns, and the king not exactly needing extensive security detail while he was in those towns, a lot of the party was left to their own devices for most of their in-town days. They’d found things to do…but an organized tournament was all the activity and prestige that would light the fire in quite a few eyes. 

…it would also be a ton of work. And…did run the risk of over-excitement. 

But Selka’s suggestions, or at least the purpose of them, weren’t without merit. Deere was of the mind that the worst thing you could do to someone on vacation was make them give up their relaxation, but… There were a lot of ways to relax. 

“...this town is named Ursa Falls, your grace,” Deere spoke up. “If you did want to take advantage of the fact that this vacation has taken you out of your home, perhaps going to see the waterfalls might make for some nice memories? It would give some specifics to mention about this area in particular, at least--I’m sure all the Diceans already know that their home is ‘nice’ and ‘bountiful’.”

He paused, looking a little puzzled for a moment. “...I’ll have to ask you two your opinions about the madeleines. I still don’t understand how peaches even grow that big, nevermind that it’s out of season…”

Shin’s gaze hollowed out, “You want to go see waterfalls–”

“That’s a great idea!” Priestess Selka cheered, clapping her hands together, “The king of Luminary, taking in the natural splendors of our Dicean neighbors, enjoying their scenic wonders and floral beauties!”

“Have either of you two ever gone to that big hole in the desert where all the sand falls around you?” Shin said, “It’s just that with water.”

“That sounds absolutely divine! We MUST go now!” Priestess Selka said excitedly, clapping her hands together, “It will be splendid!”

Shin just looked more and more grim, “It’s going to take time and effort to get to these places, organization of the party to allow them to come along, alllll to see… waterfalls.”

“We’ll get it organized right away! Won’t we, Deere?” Priestess Selka beamed at him.

“It was just a suggestion,” Deere sighed, slightly regretting opening his mouth. He was sure the waterfalls were beautiful, Novoselic was full of them and proud of that fact, and it’d likely be a pleasant time seeing them. …but it would take time and effort to organize a trip to see them. 

…he had been enjoying his time off. 

Deere frowned at the mess of the kitchen. “...the organization would be prompt…if your grace wishes it.”

“You know for a fact your grace does not–” “Come along, Deere! We’ll have one of the servants clean this up!” Priestess Selka declared, shooting up and clapping her hands authoritatively now, “We have the now much more important task of organizing this waterfall trip! Let’s go, hut hut or however you military folk say it! On the double!”

Deere simply wilted. “...you don’t want to wait until the madeleines are done?”

“Oh, right,” Priestess Selka said, sitting back down… before standing up again, “I shall do it myself! Fear not, Deere, you’re grace, I am on the case!”

Shin watched the priestess hurry out, absolutely determined to make this work now. “I hope this is a lesson to you to not suggest things around excitable people,” Shin said, going back to his food, “I think the only thing that would stop her now is me ordering her to stop. And believe it or not, I don’t enjoy stomping out the joy in people. So now we both have to live with this.”

Deere sighed and nodded, going to the molds of his cakes and starting to tap them out on a rack. They were still pretty warm, but he’d greased and floured the demons out of the molds, so they each plopped out easily. “No, you are our wise and benevolent King-Consort, much to Selka’s glee. It’s no wonder your efforts capture the hearts of those around us.”

“...it’ll be a novel experience, at least,” he shrugged. “I’ve never seen the sandfalls either.”

After a moment, Deere looked up. “...I beg my pardons if this is too personal, your grace, but…is your ideal vacation sleeping in? It would be mine, so I pass no judgement. I just…wonder why we’re traveling all over Dicea if you have no interest in seeing anything.”

“If ‘wise and benevolent’ just means ‘not a total kill-joy’, then yes, I am glad you see my worth as a ruler and monarch,” Shin responded back just as glibly, watching as Deere worked on his cake. “And how do you miss the sandfalls? Everyone goes to see the sandfalls. I never went anywhere, and I still managed to see the sandfalls, it’s the Thing To See in Luminary. Or at least around the capital.”

“That is too personal, and you were unwise to ask,” Shin said, glaring at the foods, “...but, what does it matter. It’s not like it’s a secret that matters, in the end. I’m not here because I want to be. I’m here because my darling wife and loyal cousin-in-law got into an argument, and my wife felt guilty about it so she sent me here as penance. There, the secrets out. Let’s stop and wait to see if another civil war breaks out…”

Shin paused, looking around. Listening for sounds of battle cries and sniffing for smoke… before shrugging, “Ah, well, that’s alright then. Just petty royal in-fighting, no need for every argument to turn into a civil war then. Does that clear anything up for you?”

“I’ve literally never been to the capital other than when I was hired for you,” Deere shrugged. And he had been in civilian spaces three times in his life. Once, before the war, when he was a baby, so that didn’t count. Once when his mother had been on recovery leave for a particularly annoying stab wound, and his father had managed to get a ‘working vacation’ and the three of them had spent a weekend in some no name town. And once with…

Their company had moved around a fair amount, so it wasn’t like Deere had only seen the same ten square miles his whole life…but he supposed he was still sheltered, in a certain matter. 

Deere murmured an apology, but…it really didn’t seem like Sou actually minded that much. In fact, the vitriolic apathy kind of made it seem like, knowingly or not, the king was kind of waiting for a chance to bitch about the situation.

…and as much as it was just petty noble shit? It…sounded like Sou was actually caught up in it, and not an actor, like how Deere had heard this kind of thing before. Sou wasn’t playing his own political game here, he was just…stuck. 

Deere frowned as he started coring out the madeleines. “I’m sorry. …is there a way to turn this into a vacation you’d actually like?”

“Why be sorry? Truly tragic, that I am forced to go on an international vacation. Woe is me.” Shin said dryly– yes okay maybe he was looking to bitch– though he leaned against the counter, frowning a bit at Deere’s question. What Shin would like? 

Shin literally could not think of a time when anyone had ever asked that question. He found himself a bit of a loss, actually. What the hells would he like?

“...” Shin peered down at the food, before confessing, “I’m… well, if you’re asking… I’m a bit of a ‘tech-head’,” he admitted, looking away, “...have you heard of this new light projection technology that’s in Dicea now? I’ve only heard whispers of it, but they’re a bit like Magic Lantern Shows? But the images actually move. Can you imagine? I mean, people have played with it before, I was actually able to recreate a phenakistiscope once,” Shin said, something… wary in his tone of voice, for talking about something he clearly was proud of, like he wasn’t sure what sort of reaction he should expect as he said, “You know, those spinning animation devices? I took pictures of a bird flying off a branch and managed to make it appear like the bird was actually moving, for a little bit. This was back in Kimigashine. Cameras are fascinating technology.”

Well. Yeah. Of all the family drama to get caught in, being strong-armed into a tour across a flourishing (if waaaaay too cold) country was far from suffering. …but it still sucked to be strong-armed into anything, even if it was something you liked. Sou didn’t need his sympathy, but…at least Deere knew how to agree when a noble was annoyed by something. 

But just because Sou hadn’t chosen this vacation didn’t mean he couldn’t do things he liked. Deere really doubted that Queen Kaede even had the time to dictate everything her husband could and couldn’t do, even if she wanted to be that controlling, so…why not mold the vacation into something his own? Atua knew nobles were incredible opportunists. 

Tapping loose crumbs out of each madeleine, Deere gave Sou a curious look, a little confused by how…shy the king was. Being interested in technology was far from an embarrassing or ‘low-class’ hobby. 

Deere’s brows drew in, trying to even…imagine what images that actually moved would…be like? Certainly it would look like real life, but…how? And he had no idea what a phenakistiscope was, until Sou described it, and Deere’s eyebrows raised as he gave an impressed grunt. “That’s amazing, your grace. How…” 

He trailed off with a small shake of his head. He knew better than to ask…how Sou knew how many pictures to take, and how he had gotten the right ones to make the illusion of the bird flying to actually work, and…all the minutiae to get such a craft to work that required so much precision and working knowledge and creativity…

“...well, we’ll just have to find somewhere displaying that projection technology, then,” Deere simply decided, starting to fill a piping bag with the cooled peach bits from his pot, and some whipped cream he’d made earlier and had kept in a nearby icebox. “I’ve heard that there’ve been advances in sound technology in Dicea as well, so there should be something interesting to observe there… Carbosi has been touted to be the industrial capital of Dicea, so that works out surprisingly well… Hm.”

Deere slung the piping bag in tight circles as his eyes narrowed in thought. “I wonder… Would your grace be more interested having people talk about the kinds of technology they use, such as in factory tours or demonstrations, or would you rather acquire items to explore by doing? I believe either, and both, in fact, avenue would be simple to pursue and arrange.”

Shin couldn’t help the wariness he still felt, eyeing Deere suspiciously. Admittedly, he didn’t know what he was expecting. This was uncharted territory for him. He couldn’t help but feel suspicious that Deere wanted to know, what Shin enjoyed. He hadn’t been surprised to be asked why he was wasting his vacation, but how to improve it felt like shakier territory. 

Though, the things Deere proposed… Shin appraised him for a moment, looking for some hidden message or wicked intent, before actually thinking about the proposal itself, “...both does sound interesting,” Shin admitted, too wary to get excited, but interest obvious in tone as he looked down at his food, pushing around the last bits of it, “...we could do that, yes.”

There was an awkward silence, for a moment. Both men uncertain what was expected of them next… when Shin asked, “Have you ever been to a Magic Lantern show, Deere? I’ve only been to two in Luminary, but they were a favorite passtime for me in Kimigashine.” Shin looked down at his food, before asking, “Though, perhaps you spent your free time refining this particular skill?”

Deere nodded, almost absentmindedly, as he started filling the centers of the madeleines, all the way up to a cute little dollop peeking out the top of the cake. If Sou was interested, then it would be done. He didn’t really know what people interested in new technologies really…did as outward hobbies, but he could find out. And if Sou ended up actually enjoying some of his forced vacation, then…good. Deere would have done his job well. 

“I did tend to spend a lot of my time baking, yes,” Deere said softly, nodding. “It was a hobby I could indulge without much worry, since arguments that I was wasting rations often were combated by those I offered my confections to. But…” Deere hesitated. It was a little personal, and surely Sou wasn’t asking for his whole life story, but…he had asked. “Various entertainment groups would come to our camps and settlements, every now and then. Moral boosters. I remember seeing a handful of Magic Lantern shows, though they were quite a bit more rare to see.”

A haze of gloom shadowed over Deere’s face. “...musical acts were more common. Fewer resources for them, I’d assume.”

“Ah, right, military background. You mentioned that before,” Shin recalled, watching Deere work on his food with a sort of detached interest. Unlike Selka, and probably unlike a good portion of the world, Shin had a lukewarm interest in food in general, even good tasting food. He just rarely had any sort of appetite worth talking about, and most food didn’t taste that good when your body was cringing at the idea of eating in the first place. 

The food was very pretty looking, at least, as Shin said, “Not a fan of music, hm? I suppose I can relate. I’ve been to one concert in my life and all I can remember was that it was loud.”

Deere swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. 

He never really had a vested interest in music. He certainly had no longing to learn an instrument, and he wasn’t the type to get songs stuck in his head or hum to pass the time. But… It depended on the type, he supposed, but…he really thought music was beautiful. He didn’t have a musical bone in his body, but Deere had loved listening to other people make it. 

…maybe he still would. He hadn’t exactly had the chance to go to any concerts. 

There was an explanation on his lips…before Deere sighed. “...I don’t really mind it, I guess.” 

Finishing the last madeleine, Deere arranged two pleasingly on a plate. “Would you like these, your grace? I’ll admit, they’re a little experimental, but I’m confident in the batter recipe.”

Shin looked at the delicate, warm, heavenly scented, beautiful pastries… and asked, “Can I have one cut in half?”

“Of course,” Deere nodded, cutting one of the cakes. He smiled softly--an absolutely nailed cross-section. Of course, coring the pastries to fill with more of the fruit cream was practical, it solved the cupcake issue of just eating a mouthful of frosting, and then mouthfuls of cake, but…it did look quite beautiful aesthetically as well. 

“I hope you enjoy.”

“Thank you,” Shin said, taking the plate and keeping his bites small… but he nodded approvingly at the taste, “You really are skilled. It’s a shame you don’t do this for a living, I imagine our royal kitchens are missing out… I won’t mention this to my wife. She’s the type who might insist, and then it really won’t matter if you just consider it a hobby or not. You’ll be ‘inspired’,” Shin said, rolling his eyes, “to take it up professionally in our kitchens.”

He wasn’t suggesting the queen would force Deere to work in the kitchens. He was saying that Queen Kaede was a difficult person to say no to. It was a Momota trait, even if she hadn’t ended up queen. But now especially so.

“Hm.” Deere hummed softly, though the small, pleased smile on his face was true as he started cleaning up, the treats made and approved of. There were still extras, he’d probably offer them up as well, but for now? Everything was right. 

“Considering the job hunting I’ll be up for after this trip, I don’t think being inspired by the Queen would be particularly heart-breaking,” Deere drawled, taking all his dishes over to the sink. “Catering to the whims of the castle elite culinarily falls quite snugly within my capabilities and purview.”

It’d be a damn dream come true if he could get a job in the castle. But with Sou jokingly dismissing it, Deere wasn’t about to start groveling. 

Shin looked mildly surprised at that, before squinting at Deere, a little confused, “...wait, do you not already work at the castle somewhere? I assumed this party was made up of castle servants on loan. I’m not joking when I keep asking this, what actually is your job? What did we hire you for? Are you actually a butler?”

Deere looked up, a bit more surprised than Sou. Not because he expected that the king would know every servant in the castle, that was ridiculous, but…well, no. He supposed it had just been the recruiter and coordinators’ jobs to know where people came from. “No, your grace, my application for the trip was actually sent in advance of me, while I was still traveling to the capital. I was hired under the broad position of ‘escort’, but I am meant to serve whatever need you may have, including on the spot medical treatment, personal guard, and, yes, buttling.”

…which was why Deere followed Sou wherever he went, unless he was in his room, cooked any specific thing Sou mentioned wanting, and had been trying to just…do whatever he could to make this trip better, though Sou had seemed bored at best, and miserable at worst the entire time. He supposed he hadn’t been asking the right questions, though, if it had been so simple as to straight out ask what he wanted to do. 

Shin raised an eyebrow at that, taking another small bite of his cake, “I have been referring to you as an escort, but I’ll be honest, I just hadn’t known what your job title was. I’ve always assumed ‘escorts’ were just titles nobles threw around when they wanted to hire their friends to travel with them, or didn’t want to admit they wanted a traveling prostitute… you’re not a prostitute, yes? But you are actually an escort?”

Deere’s expression went a little dry, though it wasn’t directed at Sou. “I’m inclined to agree with your assumptions, though it can be an official position as well, evidently. I wouldn’t be that surprised if your coordinator just slapped the title on me to cover the array of services I can provide, not wanting to limit them arbitrarily with a more specific job description.”

Though Deere wasn’t really sure where the line was, where someone would refuse Sou something he asked on the grounds of it not being their job. 

“But I’m not a prostitute, yes.” He frowned. “As I told Priestess Selka earlier, that’s an area of my life I’m not engaging with currently.”

Shin nodded, “I didn’t think you were, but by this point it felt necessary just to be sure. As I said, I assumed you were a castle servant on loan, some actual butler. So this is a temporary contract for you then?” Shin looked at Deere curiously, before asking with a somewhat incredulous tone, “Do you… want? A job at the castle then? Is that the goal?”

Deere frowned more, the dry look growing with the shadow on his face. “It’s a temporary contract, yes. And should my service to you be deemed enough, I would, pardon my language, your grace, hit a big ‘woo-hoo’ to be considered for hire at the castle. For my class, getting that kind of job is the kind of prestige people only dream of.”

It was already rare for anyone in the military to ever leave the military. If Deere managed to find a job at all in the now hyper-competitive market, it would be amazing. If he managed to score a gig working for the Momotas? He may have to part with some of his sanity, but it was the kind of job that would be the top of his field. 

It was something respectful to aspire to…and he didn’t care if a noble thought it was crazy. It wasn’t like he’d ever look to someone who had never done their own laundry for perspective. 

“Well, so far you’re the least irritating person on this trip, so so long as you don’t assassinate me, I suppose the job is yours. Whichever job we’re talking about. I’m king, I can’t imagine that title doesn’t lend me the ability to just give someone a job,” Shin said idly, before giving Deere a dry look, “I’m a bit new to this ‘king’ business, but that feels like a reasonable assumption to make. Sure, the jobs yours. Whichever one it is. We’ll finalize it back at the castle.”

It was an easy thing for Shin to say, and he imagined it’s be an easy thing for him to give. It didn’t really matter to Shin, who was working at the castle or not. The castle was ginormous, there were thousands of jobs within it, most of whom were employed by people Shin would never see. So it was all the same to him, who did what. Deere wanted a job? Sure. Easy.

Though, someone of his class…? “Oh, are you one of the ex-indentured’s running around, trying to pull it together?” Shin asked, “That’s been a bit of an issue, I’ll admit. We’re still… well, my wife’s team is still working on putting together policies around that. I suppose I should have guessed, with you being ex-military, considering how many indentured’s had been contracted with them.”

Deere’s eyes widened a bit, before he flushed, returning to the dishes. His voice just loud enough to carry over a sincere, “Thank you, King Sou.”

…it was dangerous, thinking any noble was ‘different’. To make any one of them an exception. His parents had cautioned him over and over to remember that a lack of degradation wasn’t respect, that an action of kindness wasn’t friendship. That a noble could be friendly, but you weren’t on their level, and should the situation arise, you would be first in line for them to throw away. And his mother had been adamant in asking him to always remember his own dignity, so Deere wouldn’t end up throwing himself away before a noble even had to ask. 

It was good advice, though Deere had just felt insulted at the time. He knew that. 

…but…maybe? Sou was the kind of noble that speaking directly to was…more feasible. Maybe the off-handed promise was just to make Deere happy in the moment, though he hadn’t known Sou to put on an act around him since his ‘editing’ of the Good Book. But…well. Deere would just have to see. He had his own dignity, but his world had never been his to shape. 

Starting to dry things, Deere shook his head. “I’m not, though your guess was informed.” He paused for a moment, already kicking himself for getting personal in a way that Sou absolutely hadn’t asked for, but… “My mother has always been a civilian, so there were never any grounds for me to be put in the program. I just meant my class as in…”

Another risk, rolling his eyes, though it did convey a sort of general exasperation. “The serving class. Hospitality within the military. ‘Low class’. People don’t leave the military, and I wasn’t even a soldier, so finding a suitable place for me I always thought would be difficult.”

Deere was a military brat?

Shin felt an impulse to laugh a bit derisively, fighting the urge to roll his own eyes… before he realized, ooooooh, “Right, military is a bit culturally different in Luminary, than it was in Kimigashine. Back in my home kingdom, we have a word for children of military families: military brats.”

“But, the military is a bit different there, then in Luminary… partially because of Luminary, actually.” Shin realized, though not from any learned knowledge. Just him putting things together in the moment, separate info he had collected over the years suddenly clicking together in a way that made sense to him, “We have a few foreign military bases assigned by trade agreements to protect us, so our military is very small and elite. It’s considered a pretty big honor to get accepted into it because it’s so exclusive, and the children of the military tend to be the biggest, most self-important assholes around, because not only are they from elite families, but they’re from the ‘tough, honorable’ elite families,” Shin rolled his eyes this time, having had to put up with being around grown military brats enough in his time serving Sou, (and, admittedly, some of this being him echoing the things Sou had mocked his ‘friends’ for behind their backs), “So they’re righteous about their self-importance on top of everything else.”

“But Luminary’s military is massive. I guess by definition that would make it ‘common’.” Shin mused, “...you know, I don’t know if you’re the type that would care, considering you never joined it yourself, but the indentured’s, or, ex-indentured’s, have gone to Kaede over and over again trying to insist she make the military’s standards of dealing with their ex-indentured contracts the standards for everyone. I’ve heard from the elites–” well, Kaede, really, “--that the military is a crass and unruly people, in general, but they do seem to be the only system in place that seemed to have actually accounted for the idea that they’d need to start paying all their indentured’s like civilians at some point in their lives. So contracts ending suddenly for them didn’t throw them off as much as it did all the other indentured career branches… so, you all won in that.”

Deere tilted his head a little, curious of the differences in Kimigashine’s military. He hadn’t thought that the structure he’d grown up in was the same across the world--he’d often heard boasting that Luminary’s military was the most robust in the world, and for the majority of his life they had been fighting an opponent that, reportedly, didn’t have an organized military at all. Though, as the war went on, Deere had heard that point less and less as boasting derision and more as muttered frustration, if not hushed shame. 

But knowing that things were different in different countries still hadn’t shed any light on what those differences were. 

And…hearing that Kimigashine’s ‘military brats’ were…like the children of knight lineages? “Huh…” Deere muttered, processing that. “I guess there is some of that, for the children of high ranking officers…but at least any I knew, there was…kind of a double standard.” Deere shrugged a little. “Having an important name would get you a good position, but unless you had actually proved yourself on the field or in direction, you wouldn’t be taken seriously. Not when arrogant decisions could get dozens of people needlessly killed, or create an opening that would lose us ground.”

Deere rolled his eyes a little at the ‘crass and unruly’ comment, but he hesitantly nodded at the actual information Sou was saying. Debating with himself about more unwanted personal information, before sighing. “It does seem to have worked out well. Most of the Indentureds I knew just kept on in their original positions, but just with a different job contract. There were probably negotiations I wasn’t aware of, but if somehow I hadn’t heard the Queen’s address, I wouldn’t have known anything changed at all.”

Nothing really felt like it changed. He had, embarrassingly, overheard his parents in a vulnerable moment, Elfie cheering on a reluctant Jacob about being excited about his conditioning wearing off soon. 

…Deere wondered if it had, in the months since he’d left. He… (He hoped so. His dad never seemed all that bothered or limited by it, and the general never seemed to over-utilize it, but… It had infuriated Deere, growing up, seeing the people that did over-utilize it.)

(His father was an ass, but he didn’t deserve that.)

…maybe he did have a prayer to give Saint Sarah-Mei today. 

Shin nodded, now just pushing the last of the cake around, not hungry. The reason he had even known all of that was because at one point he had been tasked with helping to decide which policy would help renegotiate work contracts between the indentured’s and their previous owners/employers, and he had advised Kaede to listen to the groups advocating for the military process to be government mandated across the board. But apparently the ex-owners of housekeepers, the home servants, specifically were strongly fighting against having to pay their servants civilian wages and Kaede was struggling with them as many of them were fellow elites.

(Kaede had literally thrown the paperwork about the… brothel contracts at the temples, not wanting to deal with the sheer headache that messy business was. There had already been so many loopholes and shady business practices happening there to begin with that figuring out contracts and what was happening to the workers and their living conditions was a nightmare. The temples had gladly taken on the task, having wanted to gain control back from the brothels for decades now.)

(Shin last heard that it looked like a push for concubine contracts was going to happen in a big way… and he had also heard that the temples were buying up a lot of ex-assassin contracts for… reasons.)

[The temples remembered their legacies as protectors of sex workers. And now that Kaede’s decision to take her hands off the brothel problem entirely had created a power vacuum there? They were ready to take all of them back. Especially the ones hidden in the dark.]

(So that would probably be a whole thing.)

“That makes sense. Luminary’s military is actually functional, not decorative,” Shin shrugged, “But anyway, yeah, with the job thing, just be sure to remind me when we get back, if it looks like I’ve forgotten. We’re supposed to be out here for… what, six months?” Shin said, looking grim, “Who takes a vacation for six months? I cannot imagine what my cousin said to my wife, for her to commit to that long. It will be… interesting to ask him about it, once we get to the capital.”

There was movement happening outside the kitchen doors, people running around. Selka was in the distance, clapping and shouting encouragingly. Shin sighed. Damn, they were really going to the waterfalls, huh.

Deere wouldn’t take it as a sure thing, but he gave Sou a grateful nod. A lot could happen in six months, and hopefully Deere would be able to prove himself reliable and effective. Sou’s word would be the most listened to, but if the other members of the party remarked that Deere had been good at his job? It would be only politics keeping him out. 

…so all the extra treats he’d baked would come in handy. 

Looking towards the door, Deere snorted the barest shadow of a laugh. “It looks like the rest of today has been decided. What do you think, your grace; would an umbrella or a tarp be more effective to bring along?”

Shin groaned.

-

Shin ended up going umbrella, which Deere had been tasked to hold for him, Deere wearing a tarp. Shin had gotten used to royal life in some senses, but having someone hold an umbrella for him felt… a bit odd. And the main reason he couldn’t– or wouldn’t– do it for himself was because everyone else was treating it as a matter of course that someone would hold his umbrella for him. 

And Shin, for the life of him, could not look like a ‘fake’ leader. Being a fake was already a major obstacle for that, but more than that, keeping the respect of his party was already a strange and dangerous balancing act. Shin’s shy and sweet nature could not teeter into being a pushover. The last thing an elite could afford to be was a pushover. Because some of the people around who were ready to push you, would also do it with knives in their hands.

So he smiled warmly and looked excited for the waterfalls with eyes on him and allowed Priestess Selka to order everyone around them to do things for him like it was a matter of course, until finally the deafening roar of being so close to the waterfalls gave Shin some leniency to say, “It’s so damn cold, who’s bright idea was it to go to the place where the air is full of rushing water?”

“Isn’t it delightful?” Priestess Selka had to practically shout, her hair and face soaked as she had long given up trying to keep the wind from pulling her tarps hood back, “What magnificent displays of natural power! Atua be pleased!”

Deere was…pretty amazed. He’d never seen so much moving water in his life, even large rivers not holding a candle to the demanding energy of the waterfalls. And he understood why the nearby town was named for them--there were…so many! They weren’t even by the ocean, where had all this water even come from?

But for all that it was a natural wonder…it was water moving down cliffs, coating them all in spray while it was already ridiculously cold out. Deere held fast to trying to shield against as much spray as he could--he had a feeling hanging around in thick, damp layers wouldn’t be great for Sou. 

“Hm, you do have a point. Whoever suggested this must’ve primarily been around arid climate their whole life. And so we suffer from their ignorance,” Deere hummed, looking around still. “Shall I go shopping for a whetstone for the executioner’s blade?” 

“We’ll hold off with a warning for now, but mark my words if we end up at another damn waterfall in the middle of fall…” Shin muttered, before sighing and looking around, assessing how the rest of the party was doing.

Unlike Shin, virtually everyone else was like Deere and Selka: this was the first waterfall they had ever seen, and for many of them, this was the first time they had ever seen this much water in one spot. Trips to the coast, if you were not raised there and not wealthy enough to go, were rare. A few of them before this moment would have claimed they had seen large bodies of water, having warked at elites pools or been to a school swimming match or even having seen water towers. But this? This made those comparisons laughable. 

Some of the Luminaries were just... Watching it. Sort of astounded and taking it in together. A few were laughing, taking rocks and sticks they could find and throwing them, trying to see if they could follow the path of the sticks in the water or make a splash with the stones, and each time marveling at how the items just vanished. A few of the Luminaries had found some locals and were chatting with them, pointing at the waterfalls every now and again, probably getting trivia.

They were having fun, at least. Shin supposed that was well and good enough.

“...ngh, we’re all going to freeze.” Shin said miserably.

“Not at all! I have actually already booked us a spa!” Priestess Selka said, giggling at Shin’s wary look, “There’s a spa lounge near here, they offer sauna and hot spring services, and I booked the place for us, after being approached for a very fair deal by one of the owners who heard we were organizing a trip here! After this we’ll go warm up there!”

“...should I even ask how much you spent booking an entire spa house after being directly approached by their owners?” Shin asked.

“Nope! Queen Kaede said to spare no expense, so no expense has been spared! Atua be pleased!” Priestess Selka beamed. 

Deere smiled faintly. “I’ll keep your wishes at the forefront of my mind, your grace.” It probably wouldn’t be the last time someone suggested a sight-seeing outing, but they could try to mitigate ones that were so cold. Which probably meant indoor attractions, going forward. …for just a few months, right? Dicea didn’t literally spend half their year at freezing temperatures…right?

Though, he could appreciate the luxury of getting very warm after being cold. At least the Diceans had the sense to also have saunas in their country. 

Sighing, Deere gave Selka a nod, seeming to have a little trouble raising his voice loud enough for her to hear. “That’s good thinking, Selka. Atua be pleased.” And it would be the problem of their bookkeeper and the Queen’s accountants, if it was a problem at all. 

“...you grew up in Kritin, right?” he asked after a moment. “How does this compare to Adiya Lake?”

“Oh, it doesn’t, really.” Selka admitted with a small little giggle, watching the waterfalls with wide, keen eyes, “Don’t get me wrong, the lake is massive! You can go up to viewing centers and see it just goes and goes for miles and miles! And it is very pretty… but this!” She excitedly gestured to the roaring, thundering walls of water, “Wow! They just must never run out of water! Where does it all come from!?”

“Um…” Shin shrugged helplessly, “Rain? I dunno. Probably rain, right?”

“It’s endless! And it’s all freshwater? Fascinating!” Priestess Selka gushed, “We could put our heads under there and just drink straight from the tap!”

“I think we’d be crushed if we put our heads beneath those,” Shin guessed, “...you should go down there and try it, Priestess.”

“Oh, you. Your grace has such a sense of humor! Neeheehee~”

Deere nodded contemplatively, eyes glancing up for a moment as he subtly adjusted the angle of the umbrella. If he saw Adiya Lake, he would probably similarly describe it as ‘incredible’, but the two bodies of water were different beasts. As would be the ocean, he assumed. The scale, life, energy…all different things. 

“You could try drinking from the resulting rivers if you wanted a case of botulism or a bacterial infection,” Deere suggested with a hum. “Which could be preferable to over-salination, I suppose. Everyone picks their own poison.”

It still did make for an easy water source, though. If Deere had to guess, the town was exactly far enough from the waterfalls to avoid seasonal flooding, but otherwise…it was the perfect place for cultivation. Crazy. 

Though, the other half of the town name…

Deere’s lazy gaze back and forth over the falls paused, widening slightly, a hum beeping in his throat softly. 

“...oh,” he remarked quietly. “I thought bears were smaller than that too.”

“Eh?” Shin said, before following Deere’s eyeline, “...ooooh–gah!”

“YOUR GRACE, YOUR GRACE, LOOK!” Priestess Selka demanded, grabbing his arm and shaking him a little as she sputtered, pointing at the distant bear that was chilling out near the waterfalls, “Oh my GOD! Look at it! It’s like a giant mouse! That’s a bear!?”

Selka’s cries were heard by the rest of the Luminary party, who all suddenly raced over, leaning over the safety rails and pointing, peering at the big and majestic bear down below… who sat on its backside and yawned. Unknowing and undisturbed as a group of thirty arguably grown Luminaries gasped and ogled the strange new animal.

“Oh, wouldn’t it just make a fantastic guiding animal!?” Selka gushed, looking down at it, “I bet it’d be invaluable through the trials! You could even ride it! Oh, you had a riding animal, didn’t you, your grace? For your bonding ceremony?”

There had been no bonding ceremony. Kaede had said some nonsense about them both waiting for the ‘right time’ to bond together, and had otherwise sat in a temple for an hour quietly while people were assured Kaede had wanted a private bonding ceremony. Shin had gotten the impression that Kaede either already had someone else in mind for a bonding ceremony, or had already done one. Either way, she hadn’t wanted to commit her afterlife to him, and Shin didn’t really care, as he wasn’t an Atuan anyway.

“Camel.” Shin agreed, looking down at the bear, “For slow but steady travel through the trials.”

“Wise, wise.” the priestess agreed, “...oh, but a bear would be such fun!”

Despite the fervor breaking out, the bear seemed so…relaxed. Just chilling out on its own schedule. Deere could guess that it had come to the waterfalls for fish or water or…did bears wash themselves? But it seemed entirely unbothered about getting things done in a timely manner. From up above, the bear almost seemed content enough to take a nap. 

…lucky creature. Now that seemed like an ideal life. 

“Size, fighting prowess, travel aid…I believe bears are somewhat good trackers too,” Deere hummed, lightly agreeing with Selka that a bear would make for a good guiding animal. But at the same time? “Allying with humans I think would be a downgrade for the bear though. Imagine sleeping for an entire winter…” Deere sighed wistfully. “Humans wouldn’t have it.”

“It would be difficult to bond with the animal beforehand,” Priestess Selka admitted, pouting a bit. While knowing the animal before a bonding ceremony wasn’t strictly necessary or even considered strictly important, among the common folk it was typical enough to be considered expected. A bonding animal was usually a pet, or a work animal. If you didn’t have an animal already in your life? You went to one of the temple farms and picked one out. And if you were an elite? The more exotic the animal, the more impressive it was to have for a bonding ceremony. Which was why the priestess had called Kaede’s choice ‘wise’. Camels were a practical animal, not an exotic one.

But whether common, temple farm, or exotic, it was considered good practice to spend as much as time as you could with the animal before the ceremony, preferably at least a week beforehand. Shin had never met the camel that was supposed to be his guiding animal, and he did not feel confident it actually existed or if some paperwork had been made up for it, but he knew he was supposed to say he had, visiting to clean it frequently weeks before the ceremony. It was considered cruel to bond with an animal that wasn’t even familiar with you, a sign of a person who was either a bit thoughtless or a bit cruel.

(It was unheard of, to just spring a new animal on a couple the day of the ceremony. To a true believer? How were you supposed to bond with an animal you literally just met? If someone had the audacity to try it, the couple would just refuse, and it’d be an understandable reason to delay, not to mention a bit scandalous for whoever had tried it.)

(In normal circumstances.)

“...okay, but if I were to capture the bear, and take it with us–”

“As your king, I am putting my foot down: no pet bears.” Shin said.

“...aw.”

-

…okay, Deere was willing to give it to them, these hot springs were pretty amazing. Talking around, apparently these had something to prove compared to ‘true mountain hot springs’, which were chalk full of minerals or something, but…as he was now? Frigid digits coming back to life, the hot water and whatever lower altitude minerals there were soaking into his skin and muscles?

Deere sighed happily, half dozed off with the water up to his nose as he melted into the spring. Pure contentedness radiating from his usually gloomy visage. 

Shin had a small, steady smile on his face, and to his credit, it didn’t even look forced or ironic. It was both of those things, he had gone from being way too cold to now way too hot and was quietly wondering when he was just going to blissfully suffocate to death as he sat in the hot water, but! The hotsprings were not private, and the rest of the party was there, lounging around or chatting avidly, a few people relaxed enough to actually be playing with the water a bit. 

It was a good thing the hot springs were so shallow. Most of these people did not know how to swim. Something Selka had reminded Shin of, looking nervous as she testingly put her leg in… before sinking down into the water with a contented sigh… and then…

Shin glanced over, squinting at her. “...I think she’s asleep.” He observed. It was a good guess. The priestess was snoring.

“The priestess alright there, your grace?” A big, lumbering man who, now that Shin had seen one, Shin had the context of being able to compare him to a bear, shuffled over in the water, frowning at the priestess, “Might I wanna take her outta the heat?”

Could someone take Shin out of the heat? “Perhaps just wake her a moment to confirm she’s alright…” shit, who was this again? Shin could guess he was one of the guards by the size of him–

“Snrk?” Priestess Selka snorted, waking up and, seemingly having heard the conversation or could guess what they were discussing by them looking at her, said, “Oooh, don’t worry about me, Chef Bourdain! Just getting a bit of shut eye! This is comfy cozy, isn’t it? Neehee~”

Chef Bourdain? Shin raised an eyebrow, realizing this massive bear of a man was their resident chef, who chuckled through his whole body before giving the priestess a little wink, “Gotta check in on my most ‘ppreciative patron, don’ I?”

Priestess Selka giggled, giving the big man a wave as he waddled off back into the deeper part of the hot spring… before she giggled again, “Charmer~ Your grace, Deere? You both doing alright?”

Actively melting alive. “Yes, of course.” Shin smiled absently. 

A few bubbles appeared in front of Deere, but he otherwise didn’t react, looking just about as content as Selka had a moment earlier. But after a moment, grey eyes half opened and barely raised up. “Hm. I think…this is the kind of spring that makes heat exhaustion dangerous. I wouldn’t be surprised if half our party ends up stumbling out on the arm of another. It would be wise to leave early, really. Be considerate of your body’s…limits…”

He trailed off, snuggling back down the inch or so he’d straightened out of the water, eyes closing again. Cozy…

“Wise considerations,” a bright, yet calm voice agreed. A young woman with long wetted red hair pulled back into a braid came up to the side of the spring, a tray in her arms. Oddly, she was peeking at Deere with a bit of a blush, though he gave no indication. 

Kneeling on one leg, she smiled softly at Sou and Selka. “I was speaking with one of the bath matrons, and she mentioned that having a cool towel to put on the head while soaking in the spring helps combat overheating, so I’ve brought some out for everyone.” She nodded to the small, rolled towels on the tray. “Would you like one, your grace? Priestess? Mr. Cahalan?”

Deere gave a sleepy hum, opening his eyes again once Sou and Selka made their decisions. “Thanks, Guard Badala.”

The woman blushed deeper, before she moved onto the others in the spring. 

Priestess Selka tittered a bit, kicking her legs above the water a bit as she sunk back, snickering as she said, “Daaaring, guardsman~”

Shin stared warily at the hot water around them. His heart was pounding so hard that he could feel it in his ears. He still had that light, absentminded smile on his face. But his reasons for smiling was starting to get muddled in his overheated mind. 

Look at all of these weirdos. 

Just by the nature of being ‘Luminary’, most of these people were in some dire situation or another. It was hard to exist in Luminary and not be in a dire situation. Elites, peasants, slaves, it didn’t matter, danger pressed in at all sides. The environment, hot and barren and inhospitable, pressed in at all sides. The only reason someone would accept a long trip like this with a ‘dangerous’ monarch that would take them away from everything they knew for potentially almost a year, was that their situation at home was less than stable. A dire situation.

But you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at them. It had been like that back in Luminary too, when Shin had been able to leave the manor and see things. It was like Luminaries had been mired in danger so long that they didn’t feel it anymore. They went to parties and stuck masks on their faces and told lies that could get them killed if someone didn’t believe them and could get them killed if someone did believe them, and they went to those parties relaxed and snickering and proud of every little accomplishment that didn’t kill them. They served elites who could have them disappear in a moment, and made jokes at their expense to each other just on the edge of where said elites could hear. They left their country for the first time taking care of someone who if he so much as sneezed wrong, the whole party’s lives could be ruined, and if they let a personal fight get out of control with a local, could restart a war that they had already lost so much too, and it was all so dire…

… and they looked like a group of kids at a particularly interesting field trip. Still gasping over bears and flirting in hot springs and making dumb bets with each other over how long they could hold their breaths under the hot water.

Weird. So weird. Didn’t they know they were a miserable people? Why didn’t they act miserable? 

Shin was king on a vacation.

Why was he the only person this trip acting miserable?

“...’m gonna get some fresh air,” Shin informed Selka and Deere. Wobbly getting out of the hot water and heading towards the front, grabbing a towel on his way out.

Selka frowned as she watched the king leave, shooting Deere an uncertain look. “Did he seem a bit woozy?”

Caeldori wasn’t exactly subtle. She did have a calmer type demeanor, but she didn’t exactly waste much time when they all met at the beginning of the trip. About two weeks in, she had gone up to Deere and expressed her admiration and desire to get to know each other better…and what foisted Deere’s respect for the woman way up, enough to use her title regularly, was when he said he wasn’t looking for relationships, she had…genuinely respected that. 

Sure, she still had a rather obvious crush on him, but after that, she had never tried to push him into anything. He never got the impression that she was still hoping for something to bloom between them if they just spent a little more time together, she never concocted ways for them to have to be in each others’ company, Deere had never even heard any rumors about him turning her down, or her own goals, other than people teasing about the obvious. 

Caeldori was just…professional and pleasant, and Deere was thankful for her, even if it had been fueled by a crush. Which he didn’t really think her demeanor was, considering she was that way with everyone else he saw as well. 

It was a novel experience, Deere thought. So he didn’t pay much mind to Selka’s teasing either. 

Until he registered the more worried tone she took on, and he opened his eyes, looking over where the king departed. “...these are pretty warm. He might’ve recognized his limit and decided to go.”

Deere frowned, before he sighed. Goodbye, hot springs… “I’ll check on him. I should see if there’s anything else he needs anyway.”

Leaving the spring with a yawn (garnering a few glances his way as he left the water), Deere grabbed a towel and followed in the king’s steps, already lamenting the chill. 

Shin wobbled out into the lodge area, patting his face with the towel, before after a moment of consideration, heading outside. Hoping the cool air might counterbalance the overheating inside of him, he walked out the front door and, with a groan, sitting on the front step. Steam literally coming off of his skin, as he peered blearily out into the dark. 

“...do you know the rumors of what happened to the last Luminary Party that came to Dicea?” Shin said. Hearing footsteps coming behind him. It was probably Deere. Shin didn’t care who it was, as he asked, “There were a lot of different ones. No one knows the truth, but after a while, it felt like people were competing to make the most horrifying story possible, about them.”

“My favorite rumor was that Prince Kaito had them entombed in the Ouma castles dungeon, to torture them all to death.” Shin mused, lightheaded, “I loved how baseless it was. Prince Kaito and Prince Kokichi meet, and together discover a terrible sadistic streak, which they take out exclusively on the Luminary Party that escorted Kaito to his wedding. And they all died, except for the drummer boy, who won a spot as a wannabee assassin, while all the other children were set to die.”

“You have to not know so many things.” Shin mused, “You have to not know that the Ouma family doesn’t have that sort of power, to make an entire party disappear, and that they don’t have that reputation anyway. They have to assume Kaito’s a monster. They have to not know that the Dicean Castle does not have a functioning dungeon. They have to not know that there are dozens and dozens of accounts of the Luminary Party leaving not only the castle, but the city, and the surrounding cities before they disappear entirely.”

“You have to not know so many things,” Shin sighed, “And soooo many elites were passing around that particular rumor. So many didn’t know.”

Deere paused, huddling into himself with a bit of a grimace at the frigid night air, before joining Sou on the step. This…seemed like his king was in a sort of contemplative mood, though Deere hadn’t the slightest guess as to what brought it on. Maybe being in Dicea at all. Maybe the workings of an inner world that Deere knew nothing about, because for while he was meant to satisfy and, when he could, anticipate every need Sou had…he barely knew the guy. Not as a Momota, not as the King, but as Sou. And as much as most people would never even see Sou…he, as himself, still did exist. 

He had heard rumors about the peace party. The wedding party. The parade of losers, whatever you wanted to call them. Over a hundred people routing around Dicea through Danganronpa for months, marching through enemy territory to make it to the capital, bungling everything as horribly as they could without re-starting the war, and then…disappearing. Losing some of the most powerful people in the country just…into thin air. 

Of course Deere had heard rumors. From people chasing macabre horror, to people insisting upon some sort of horrible sabotage. A lot of the latter, in his neck of the desert. Deere had never met General Juzo himself, but even for the ladder climbers, there was an immense amount of respect for the man across the military. There had been a particularly reverant and fiercely defended rumor that a section of the party had broken off and was in hiding, stuck in some horrible situation but safe for the moment under General Juuzo’s leadership. 

Deere had found it a little funny, in a horrible way, that he’d never heard any similar rumors with the former head secretary. 

“...if you could pardon my offense, your grace, knowledge is not exactly the defining factor I’d ascribe to most of what many elites do,” Deere said after a moment, giving his clouded breath a dreary look. “Even if they knew all those things…from my perspective, it looks like they have a lot more fun with, as you identified, embellishing the most horrific explanation they could.”

Shin laughed at that. And then he leaned forward and retched onto the ground. “U-ugh… food, then the cold, then the heat. Th-that was bound to happen,” Shin muttered, wiping his chin and glaring at the vomit between his legs. “C-can never keep anything inside me…”

Scoffing, Shin rolled his head back and scowled, “It’s all cute and stupid and haha, until you’re listening to them argue among each other if they should invade the neighboring country again or not, and someone throws out what potentially happened to the missing party as another reason why we go to war. The only reason that rumor wasn’t what did it was because King Leon, stupid git he was, refused to believe his second son was capable of that. Unfounded rumors vs. personal bias. That’s what stops and starts a war.”

Shin looked around, his vision wobbling. “...if I pass out onto this vomit, it’s treason, I tell you. I’ll start a war with you specifically, Deere. And considering our track record, it will not work out on Luminary’s end of it.” Shin frowned, “...I’m not allowed to say it. So don’t repeat it. But Byakuya throwing Leon from that window was the only genuinely good thing that moron ever did.”

Deere frowned at the pool of vomit. Not a good sign, and, unfortunately, not a particularly shocking or dangerous one for Sou. It just was a sign of constant, concerning malaise. 

(...the royal family certainly had enough money to pay off a healer to keep silent. So…he really hoped Sou had been checked out properly.)

Taking his towel, Deere offered it to Sou to properly wipe himself off, his frown deepening at the…result of it all that had been on the king’s mind. And Sou was right. Growing up, Deere had heard all sorts of reasons why they were in a war, and even now, on the other side of that loss, he still thought they were legitimate. Especially now seeing Dicea for himself…even just in a few square miles, Dicea’s fertile land was almost insulting to look at, compared to Luminary’s. A fraction of the land would double the food production, and Dicea didn’t even have a history of famine. Going to war, to prevent death and squalor by starvation was a legitimate reason, even if there were other ways to achieve that. 

…but it wasn’t some wild, midnight club conspiracy theory that that wasn’t the reason King Leon had declared war in the first place. In one way or another…it was a war for His Majesty’s ego. And despite the reasons of fighting for the people or loved ones that were the personal motivations of the more tolerable people Deere knew…their military was nothing if not the spear and shield of their monarch’s ego. Their generals could advise, the elites could pressure, but ultimately, the military moved at their monarch’s word. 

…Deere wondered if Sou had found that enlightening in some way, and that’s what brought on this line of thought. It didn’t seem particularly world-shattering to him. 

“Ah, well, even if I were to win such a one-sided war, it seems a little pointless to go back into that business now. I suppose I have no choice but to not commit treason,” Deere drawled, putting a gentle hand on Sou’s shoulder to keep him steady for the time being. “...do you want to go to your room, or just sit here pretending to be chummy? I could pull Dr. McGrey away, if you wish.”

He gave Sou a mildly surprised look. Deere wouldn’t repeat it, but…Sou was right, he couldn’t say stuff like that, not without a bunch of fluff and misdirection. He was certain the king hadn’t had any alcohol that night so… This was…a weirdly personal conversation. 

“...I suppose the large scheme is your personal problems, hm,” Deere quietly mused. 

“Pretending to be chummy…” Shin murmured, recognizing the little spots in his vision for what they were, and feeling curiously detached from it. “Heh… I suppose so, yeah. I suppose it’s fun pretending, sometimes. Better than the alternative…”

“...I’m gonna pass out now,” Shin murmured, the black spots getting bigger, “Just take me to bed, Ka–”

Shin slumped to the side, like a puppets whose strings had just detached. The large temperature changes finally overwhelming him, his body forcibly taping out. 

Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes pretending was all you had, and sometimes you could even fool yourself for a little while. Sometimes it was nice living in a fantasy where smiles were because someone was happy to see you, pats on the back were casual affection, compliments were frequent with no strings attached. Sometimes, when you needed a break from barbs and knifepoints, pretending was nice. Living in a fantasy of friendship. 

(Living in a fantasy of love.)

It was less fun when it was only a fantasy for one person. And sometimes Deere just…didn’t have the energy to pretend anymore, and he just preferred the acid unaltered. At least then you knew where you stood. 

Deere wrapped his other arm around Sou, keeping up up as he passed out, now really looking like they were chummy. Like the sort of friends that could just hang out on a freezing doorstep with their arms around each other. …geez, the same day Sou had asked if he was a prostitute, too. 

…had Sou been about to call him ‘Kaede’? 

For a moment, Deere closed his eyes and took a breath, before he got up and wrapped Sou as well as he could in the towels, heading inside. Hopefully he could make it there without anyone seeing them. Maybe he could spin something about the king marveling at the stars long enough to fall asleep after a busy day, and that would fit the image he was cultivating… 

Preferably, Deere wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. 

…he definitely wasn’t getting any sleep tonight, huh. Should’ve spent those hours sleeping instead of baking. Let’s see… He should pick up a jug of water, his med kit when he stopped by his own room to get dressed… Hopefully Sou wouldn’t develop a fever, but Deere could make up some of the tea he’d given him before if he did… Just had to keep an eye on it. 

-

Hiro’s hair was pulled back into a ponytail, a hoody high and protecting his neck. He kept his eyes low. The coastal town had gotten more dangerous in the last few months. Jobs were at the port, trade more frequent in and out of the country now, so more and more people were moving to this area. But as many jobs as there were, there were far more people looking for work, and the crowding of competing people was creating conflicts everywhere.

One conflict which Hiro very much wished he hadn’t just walked past, as he told himself Just keep walking, you didn’t see anything, it’s none of your business– {“Bullshit it’s not our business, they wanna pull that on our turf!?” “We have an obligation to offer aid!” “I th-think they need help…”}

{I’ll do it, if you’re frightened.} 

And Hiro let out a small, shuddering breath… and when they opened their eyes, Alter Ego glanced back at the alley they had just passed. Heading back towards it.

A man was standing there, his eyes vacant, unseeing, as a woman whispered in just the right tone of voice, “I saw you open up an account with the bank. You’re gonna walk back in there and say you changed your mind. You’re going to empty the account and come back here. You’re going too–”

“Let me guess,” Alter Ego said, the woman jolting at the sudden realization she and the ex-indentured weren’t alone, “He used to work for you?”

The woman, for as much credit as it could possibly give her in this situation, had the good sense to look ashamed now that someone was watching, before insisting, “I… I was his supervisor. I don’t understand why he still has a spot on the crew, and I lost mine in the restructure? That’s not right! I did everything right and he’s just some debtor. I need this months paycheck. It should have been mine.”

“Tragic story. Take out a loan.” Alter Ego said. 

They could have said that it sure as hell wasn’t this guys fault she had lost her job. They could have said one of the issues was that ship crews really were favoring ex-indentured’s in their job restructures, but that wasn’t necessarily a good thing for the ex-indentured’s in question, since there was a suspicion that the reason the ships wanted them was that conditioning was still extremely useful, and no one could question their practices in the isolation of the ocean. That the only reason she thought she’d get away with this was exploiting the same conditioning everyone else was exploiting, and this poor guy was trapped on all sides.

They could have said all of that. But the woman probably already knew that. It just didn’t matter to her in comparison to not taking out a loan to pay rent. 

So as the woman opened her mouth to tell him to just mind his own business, Alter Ego reached out into her mind, and just dropped a heavy layer of fear into her mind… and the girl, eyes widening, burst out into a run. Determined to escape. Why? She had no idea. Alter Ego provided no explanation. Just fear. Just {run.}

So she left, and Alter Ego peered at the man still vacantly looking at nothing. “...disregard all orders?” Alter Ego tried.

When the man didn’t respond, Alter Ego sighed. Without one of his ‘authorities’ talking to him, this would only fade with enough time. “Alright then, let’s sit you down somewhere until it wears off then.”

Alter Ego took the man’s hand and led him to a bench, forcing him to sit down and sitting down with him. Five minutes went by. Ten minutes. “...this is taking too long.” Alter Ego sighed, “Stay with him. I’ve got an idea.”

And leaving Hiro to divide his attention, Alter Ego pounced through the connection of minds, and landed in Kokichi’s circus, as they called out, “Kokichi? Could I borrow you? I’m hoping to exploit some monarch privileges.”

Things were looking…hopeful. I-in a sense. It really looked like the lawyers and detectives had gotten every bit of evidence they could, their arguments followed through, and…it was looking like the trial might? Actually be starting to end. What Kokichi was listening to at the moment certainly sounded like a closing statement. 

…so maybe it wasn’t the most responsible thing, but Kokichi had been paying attention throughout all the proceedings, and until they got the verdict from the jury, which would take an hour recess for them to discuss and evaluate at least, there wouldn’t be anything for him to do, so…

{Yeah, I have some time. If you need me to propose a new trading agreement, I’m afraid that’ll take some time.}

Alter Ego’s request felt a little more serious than that, but…well, Kokichi needed a little humor where he could get it. 

Walking out into the circus, his button-down, slacks, and cardigan melding into bright, fun patterns and looser cuts, Kokichi smiled fondly at his mentor. “I don’t think anyone will ask me for much for a couple hours, so I’m all yours. What can I help with?”

Alter Ego flicked their tail, tilting their head at Kokichi, “You are tired,” they observed, “I’m sorry, I should have called ahead. The last few times I just popped in I got lucky, it was all Miya time. Is her teething going well?”

“But, as much as I want to check in, I do need to talk and move at the same time,” Alter Ego said, “Hiro is sitting with a man who’s trapped in his head right now. Conditioning command not fading off, the person who gave the orders might have given him a lasting order to be still, I’m not really sure. It’s been a little over twenty minutes and he hasn’t snapped out of it. Could you try to convince him you’re an authority as a prince, and take off the order?”

Kokichi laughed softly, but shrugged easily. “Yeah, I’ve never sat in on a court case this long or intense, but I’m not dragging my feet yet. It’s actually looking like we’re getting to the end, so hopefully things will be calming down some.” Grinning, Kokichi let out a sympathetic laugh. “Oh, she’s so annoyed. Thankfully the pain isn’t too bad, we’re quick about her gum gel and she’s seemed to take to the teething toys well, but like any change, it’s an affront to Mi-Mi’s world. Though, we did give her hot chocolate for the first time the other day, and she was astounded, so I’m hoping the world of food will be something exciting to look forward to past teething pains.”

Following Alter Ego back to their own mind as they talked, Kokichi’s smile grew serious as he took in the situation, and he nodded with a concerned sigh. He did know this was happening--conditioning still causing problems for people though they were officially free. Even before the end of the war, ever since they first figured out that this was an option, Kokichi was aware of all the people given a disadvantage in their lives that he just…hadn’t met yet. That their group hadn’t reached out too. With their agreement, he tried not to shoulder the burden, to be present and engaged for his daughter’s sake, and the rest of his family’s too, but…

“...I’m not sure he’ll listen to a foreign prince, but I can give it a shot,” Kokichi promised, nodding. “Lead the way?”

“Miyako has a strong personality. In that way, she’s very much like… well, all of you.” Alter Ego’s whiskers shifted in amusement, as he hopped down onto Hiro’s shoulders, peering at– in a sense– his own face, “Apologies, Hiro. I’ll take a full nap after this, the mind will be all yours.”

“I-I’m okay.” Hiro said quietly to the air, before glancing at the imobile man beside him, “He h-hasn’t improved any, by the way. I think something’s w-wrong. I tried taking a peek at his immediate future to see if I could figure out what he needed, and all I could see were butterflies.”

“Butterflies…” Alter Ego looked up at Kokichi, “Hiro might have been seeing the future from his perspective. This might not be conditioning, he might be dissociating. I’ve heard some conditioned people do that, they just mentally retreat when their bodies are out of their hands.”

For a moment, Kokichi was just…surprised. This would be a very embarrassing way to find out some stereotypes of Luminaries that he apparently hadn’t let go of, but…this guy looked remarkably like Kaito, didn’t he? Kokichi wasn’t just making that up, right?! Even with Kaito’s new haircut…

But it was just that moment, really. It didn’t matter what the man looked like--he needed help. And that was what Kokichi was there for. 

“I’ll do my best, Hiro. Thanks for calling for me,” Kokichi smiled at his friend, before regarding the man. 

Dissociating, huh? At least Kokichi had had a little extra practice with that recently. Kokichi wasn’t physically there, so to talk to the man he did have to peer in a bit, but he did his best to be gentle, feather-light, just barely brushing his consciousness against the man’s, trying not to scare him into retreating further. 

…it was a field of wildflowers, climbing vines going up a craggy cliff… And butterflies. 

“Oh, this is lovely,” Kokichi remarked softly, taking in the scene. “I’m sorry to intrude on such a special space.”

The man flinched, before seeing who had come in… come in? 

Cathan hadn’t really noticed what he was doing. Back in the manor he and his friends had used to work in, the butterfly garden had been where Cathan had gone when he was overwhelmed and just needed a break from everything. Honestly, he had always been surprised by how empty it was. Not even Mistress Thula, who had commissioned the garden to be made, had ever spent time there.

It was still the most beautiful place Cathan had ever seen. And he had seen a few beautiful places now…

But Cathan wasn’t delusional. He hadn’t seen the butterfly garden in years, and you couldn’t take him back to the manor by knifepoint, not after everything he and his friends had went through to get away from there. He was a sailor now, he liked being a sailor, he liked the ocean and he could smell it, somewhere, so… why was he… at the garden?

“... who’r you mean’ to be then?” Cathan asked, his accent thick with northern Luminary influence. Growing closer to the colder north, Cathan’s skin was much lighter in coloring than Kaito’s, a spattering of freckles lightly coating him. Everything about him was a little lighter in coloring than Kaito, brighter eyes, a richer red in coloring in his hair. But he was smaller than Kaito, shorter by a good few feet, and his muscles were practical rather than sculpted, a light spattering of hair on his chin. 

He did look a LOT like Kaito. But his voice betrayed him as someone else entirely, lighter and softer in a way he couldn’t really control, as he asked, “If u’r lookin’ for a bit o’ service, ‘m not work’n these days. Move on, yeah?”

“My name’s Kokichi,” Kokichi smiled gently, “And I’m not looking for any service. Really…I’m hoping I can do something for you.”

It was…usually a little risky to do this in a dream. Not playing along with the mindscape. But this man wasn’t dreaming, and to a certain point, he knew that. And…at least with Doppio, it wasn’t helpful to try to figure out exactly what his detachment looked like. Bringing him back down to earth was what actually helped once the danger passed. And sitting on a bench with Hiro definitely meant the danger had passed. 

Zeroing in on one of the man’s observations, Kokichi looked at him straight on. “...you can smell the ocean, right? As lovely as this garden is…you know you’re not here right now. You’re on the Agnirathan coast…close to the docks, I think. You’d know it better than me, is that right?”

Cathan felt the instinct to lean away (you can’t, you won’t be able to move) as he stared warily at the boys eyes. Who the heck was this kid? Of course he could smell the ocean, he had just gotten… just gotten his check for working the dock this month, he had finally… finally gotten enough to open an account (don’t go back when you go back you’re going to be talking to a clerk and you won’t be able to use your voice and you’re going to want to scream), he had been ready to celebrate with a night of drinking with his friends (they were going to be so disappointed, they were going to be angry, they were going to tell him it wasn’t his fault and they’d cover his share of the rent somehow and he was going to want to scream) and–

He didn’t want to go back he wasn’t fucking interested in watching his body puppet around thanks if he went back he’d just want to scream and scream and he wouldn’t be able to and–

Cathan gagged on his throat a little, looking around with a bead of sweat on his forehead, as Hiro put a hand on shoulder, “H-hey man, just breathe, yeah? You with me here?”

“Nn?” Cathan gagged again, swallowing the shout he had wanted to give, before warily looking around. His body shaking a bit, as he asked, “...w-where’d the lass run off to then…?”

“Your supervisor? Yeah, guess you were out of it, let me catch you up.”

As Hiro explained to Cathan more or less what had happened, Alter Ego sighed next to Kokichi, garden vanished, “I could have done that myself, sorry. I was sure he was caught in a conditioning order. I guess he just assumed it wasn’t safe to come out yet.”

Kokichi frowned, feeling that desperate, furious rage…and he sighed, looking to his mentor sadly. “...not that it’s not safe. He just hates what his conditioning does to him. He…doesn’t want to watch it, so he came here.”

Shaking his head a little, Kokichi drew his hands into loose fists. “...I think the orders are still in effect so…if it’s a good idea to you, I’ll stick around until we can undo those? I…”

Kokichi sighed again. “...I think we need to talk to Temp about starting up our efforts again. Miya and Addie are still babies, but…we’re to the point we can sleep through the night, and just rely on alarms or cries to wake us. And there’s just…” Kokichi glanced at Cathan and Hiro talking. “...there’s so many people affected. Trying to start this new part of their lives, and that’s hard enough without…” Kokichi grit his teeth a little, “purposeful sabotage.”

“...we have the power to help,” he said softly to Alter Ego. “We should start trying again.”

“Ah, I see what you mean,” Alter Ego noticed, Cathan still shaking and sweating, but not moving away from Hiro, despite looking less than pleased that the taller man had wrapped an arm around his shoulder, Hiro not quite noticing how uncomfortable he was making the other man, “Hiro.”

“Ah? Eh! Oh!” Hiro pulled back, grinning warily, “M-my bad! H-hey, I run a small little shop, and if you want I can… you know what tarots are or–”

As Hiro gauged a potential customer, Alter Ego nodded, “The break was always meant to be temporary. You and Temp are allowed to be people with your own lives, and Miyako and Addason needed your full attention for those first few months… but I agree. You’ve both gotten to a point where we can start pushing again. Temp’s nannies have taken shifts to allow him to go back to work running the cemetery and crematorium, and you’ve figured out a setup with Kaito and Shuichi, not to mention her godparents, grandparent and aunt. And me, well… I haven’t really been ‘resting’. I’ve been hunting for more and more information, and maintaining Shuichi and Kaito’s defenses.”

“Shuichi’s is getting stronger and stronger, his is working perfectly,” Alter Ego said, watching as Cathan tried to push himself off the bench, his face tightening in frustration as he couldn’t quite get his limbs to cooperate, “I think we can call Griffin a perfect success. Kaito’s is… a little more spotty, but I think that’s entirely because Miyako and Amaina stress-test it so much. Saint Madison is becoming more and more developed, but I think Kaito is subconsciously training her to make more and more exceptions. He’s too inviting, essentially.”

Alter Ego’s tail flicked, watching Cathan stubbornly ignore Hiro’s offer to help him stand up, Alter Ego hearing hints of Cathan’s fear of embarrassing himself falling over, as they said, “Kaito’s an exceptional situation though. More samples to learn from would make it easier to defend against that sort of thing…”

As much as he hadn’t wanted to stop before…they really had needed to take a break. Kokichi didn’t think he’d truly become his father, but there were similar mistakes he could make, and prioritizing the greater good so much over his family that it led to their detriment wasn’t something Kokichi could allow himself to do. Being on Miyako rotation, spending time with his daughter as she grew, just the two of them hanging out, getting to see so many of her firsts, good and bad…it was important. 

But so was helping people have domain over their minds again.  

Kokichi sighed through a laugh, a fond smile warming his face. “My husband does get more visitors than I think the average person does. I think that balance is something we’ll always be reevaluating… And I think, even with only two points, defenses and people’s growth and reactions with them is always going to be personal…but I think we can get some damn good guidelines set up.”

“...I need to talk with my husbands, to let them know, but…you free to talk tonight?” Kokichi asked Alter Ego. “And I’ll ask Temp too.”

Alter Ego nodded, before nodding meaningfully to Cathan, “Hold on, let’s at least try to give him a disregard orders first. He doesn’t seem to be shaking it off as much as I’d have liked. We won’t tell him consciously who you are, of course, but I can tell his subconscious that you’re royalty. And since I’m not lying, his subconscious will more readily accept the vague idea that you’re ‘important’. At least, that’s the goal.”

Alter Ego leapt down onto Cathan’s lap, resting on their stomach as he looked up at Kokichi, “I’m going deep. Give me one minute, and then try it.”

Then they rested their head in their palms, closed their eyes. One moment passed. Two moments… {Okay, try now. He should respond to you.}

Kokichi knew he wasn’t exactly the picture of Luminary royalty, or even Luminary authority. And he knew that his attempts of stern, iron authority were more liable to make his family burst out laughing than take him seriously. So…maybe the right approach would be…

{You’re angry.}

{All that hurt you feel, the humiliation and rage and frustration…you’re right. You’re right to feel those things. All the things you want to scream instead of being silent, all the times you want to stand tall instead of bowed…you’re justified.}

{Fuck what she said.}

{She’s wrong, and has been wrong for far too long.}

{Throw everything she said away, disregard it.}

{I’m saying your life is yours, and you should live it as loudly and as proudly and as fiercely as you think is right. As you want.}

With eyes closed, Kokichi drew in his righteous fury…but didn’t let it burn Cathan. Kept it within himself, but hoped it would inspire. At least for now, he couldn’t share his own fire, but he could do all he could to help other people stoke their own.

“S-so, uh yeah! I mean, officially officially, I do not read fortunes, but officially unofficially, I c-can totally give you a reading, and the first one is totally free, though if you wanted to make it a regular things my rates are–”

“AUGH!” Cathan shot up, gritting his teeth, hands clenched into fists as his eyes were too wide… before he swayed a little. Rubbing his hand over his face as he grunted for a moment, letting the frustration and anger run through him… and fade out. Taking in a steadying breath, as now that he could move? The calm returned to him, as he gave another shuddering little breath, “Ngh… canna’ believe her… didn’ think she was the type..”

“...” Cathan looked warily back at Hiro, innately suspicious, but… but something uncertainly hoping to trust, as he asked, “You pulled me outta that bit of fire, yeah? Back inna alley?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! I mean, it was no big deal, just walked over and she ran off really!” Hiro grinned sheepishly, “You good now man?”

“Yeah… yeah, thank ye. I jus’... thanks… fortune telling?” Cathan confirmed, saying as Hiro nodded, “Feel like ‘m might be owing ya one, so sure, I ge’ I can buy me a wee bit of fancy wording.”

“Oh, well, first one free! But, here, let me walk you a bit and discuss rates if you find you can use knowing what the weathers gonna look like next week, for instance!”

“Have ye’ nah heard of the farmers almanac, lad?”

Alter Ego, Cathan and Hiro good, looked up at Kokichi and nodded, “Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you tonight.”

Kokichi watched Cathan for a moment, feeling echoes of what felt like…release. And Kokichi really hoped he wasn’t just projecting his own identification on that. For now…he’d be alright. 

And hopefully soon…

“I’ll see you, Alter Ego.”

-

Kokichi blinked, reorienting himself…just outside the courtroom, a cup of tea in his hands. 

“...I wouldn’t blame you if you took the next week off, after this,” Hideki hummed, sipping from his own teacup. “I think we’re all ready for it to be over.”

Kokichi laughed tiredly. “I think so too. Though don’t think you’ll get me out of the office that easily. I just get to bring my daughter to work again.”

Hideki smirked with a light, ‘what can you do’ type of shrug. “You can try to lead the workaholics to water…”

-

Doppio’s expression was an odd mix of complicated and completely blank as he stirred the sauce on the stove. He was trying out another recipe Kaito had mentioned. …well, not really recipe that he had mentioned, but a concept, another of Luminary’s stuffed pastas. Stuffing giant shells, almost like…a pocket or lasagna, or if you ended up broiling ravioli or… He supposed it was a little off to compare it to anything else, when it was its own dish. But, he’d managed to find giant shells, picked up an assortment of cheeses and fresh herbs, and was making an absolutely kick-ass sauce to go with it. 

It had been alright while he was prepping, cutting everything up, but…Doppio wondered if he should’ve chosen a more involved recipe. 

Kokichi had pulled him aside that afternoon, wanting to let Doppio know immediately that…the case had closed that day. The jury had found his father guilty on several accounts of child abuse and exploitation and distribution of controlled substances and tax fraud and…well. A lot of stuff that wasn’t any surprise to Doppio. 

There would be an investigation into everyone involved with Passione, a long-term project meant to dismantle the whole structure, either bringing people to justice, or finding other places for them. Once his father’s assets were assessed, there would be a certain percentage of his wealth seized as recompense and given to funding the task force dismantling Passione, a fund meant to help people employed by it who needed residuals, and to Safer Drug Consumption Sites and Overdose Prevention Centers.

And for his dad himself, for the things that had been judged…more actions of unwellness, than willful maliciousness? He was given a no-contact bar with Doppio (as close to a restraining order the court could order without Doppio signing off on one himself) and…was going to be admitted to a live-in hospital. It wasn’t actually a hospital, but Doppio had forgotten the name and…it was basically one, just without white walls, the smell of antiseptic, and emergency cases rushing in and out. Like a house with a live-in care team, but not in the middle of nowhere like isolation. His dad wouldn’t be discouraged from interacting with others and the world… Honestly, Doppio had a feeling his healers would encourage it eventually. It was just that he would always be under someone’s supervision, effectively, if not literally. 

…his dad would hate that…even if what Kokichi described was…basically what Doppio had done for his father, but without the enabling and…with the help his dad actually needed. What Doppio had been actually meant for. 

There was more to all that, but that was just…kind of the big stuff. …and Doppio had nodded and thanked Kokichi and…now he was making stuffed shells. Looking blankly down at the pot. 

Scooping some of the sauce with his spoon, Doppio blinked, before offering it to Arven. “Taste for me?”

Arven leaned forward and gently lipped the spoon, “Mmm… maybe a touch more pepper?”

Leaning back, Arven watched his boyfriend. It had been an interesting day. Interesting in one of the worst terms of it, unfortunately. Arven hadn’t known what to expect when they woke up, he hadn’t known what to expect when they got the news, and he didn’t really know what to expect now. Just waiting as Doppio seemed to… process, or something.

Kaito, in turn, had been in and out all day. Making sure they ate breakfast, making sure they drank tea and water, and Arven was pretty sure, making sure they stuck around the castle. He had been relentlessly cheerful, and with the exception of telling them that Kokichi wanted to talk to them, and a not so subtle reminder that he could go and get Dr. Mariah at any point, he seemed determined to just be a pleasant presence, when he was around.

Arven was fairly certain it was Kaito who had gotten Doppio cooking, though Arven wasn’t sure if Kaito had just suggested it or if he had asked for a meal. Something to keep Doppio busy, Arven guessed. But now Kaito was out again, and Kokichi had headed off, and the lawyers had headed off, and it was just Arven and Doppio in the kitchen, as Arven suggested, “Maybe more cream too? Get it thicker?”

“Mm,” Doppio nodded. He reached over for the pepper mill and gave it a few good cracks, looked at the consistency… Yeah, a little thicker would be nice. Even if the sauce would probably thicken in the oven, but…the cream would make for a smoother mouthfeel…

He poured in some cream, gave it a few stirs, had a taste… “Better,” he said quietly, nodding. Before he just kind of…stopped. Looking around the kitchen aimlessly for a few moments…before getting out the casserole dish he was going to cook the shells in. They were probably cool enough to handle now, and the sauce being hot shouldn’t matter much…

He ladeled some of the tomato sauce in the bottom of the pan, putting it next to the cooked and cooled shells and the cheese and herb mixture he’d made earlier, and paused again… Before looking up at Arven. “Do you want to help me fill these?”

“Mmhm, yep,” Arven said, getting up immediately.

Hurrying to Doppio’s side, Arven rolled up his sleeves, having already washed his hands in preparation to help, when Doppio was ready. Taking a second to get familiar with the process, Arven started stuffing the shells quietly. He and Doppio standing side by side, both quietly working the task.

“...” Arven glanced at Doppio, before looking back down at his food, “...”

He wasn’t sure what to say.

It was pretty easy. It wasn’t like the shells were particularly delicate--they were even hardier than lasagne noodles, and weren’t warped from cooking in a weird position like those could be sometimes. Doppio was starting to agree with Kaito, how weird it was that dishes like this just had never popped up in Dicean cuisine. 

Take a shell, loosely pack in the cheese mix, nestle it in the pan. Then he’d cover them with more sauce, grate on a little parmesan on top, and let it all warm and meld together in the oven. Just enough time to saute some asparagus with lemon, for a bright contrast and bam, a perfect dinner. 

…

“...” 

What was there even to say?

“...”

…

O.O

Arven stared back at Amaina, before glancing at Doppio… before subtly shaking his head at her. Maybe not now.

O.O

O.o ???

Arven jerked his head a little. Go. No Amaina shenanigans. Shenanigans? Gods, he really was picking up Kaito language. 

O.O 

Q.Q ????

QOQ BABY SENPAI THE LITTLE KING DOESN’T LOVE ME ANYMOOOOORE

Arven sighed, “Amaina…”

Doppio jumped with a small “Eep!”, dropping the shell he was transferring into the dish, splattering some of the sauce. Letting out a breath, his shoulders dropped, letting go of some of the tension he’d been holding, just from the scare, before he gave Amaina a soft look. 

“You know that isn’t true, Angelo,” he said softly, poking Amaina’s arm with the cleanest part of his pinky. “Arven loves you a lot. Why else would he be filling those regular shells for you?”

…it was more just that Doppio hadn’t gotten to the few that he’d cooked, always thinking of his friend, but he was always ready to give Arven more credit for hijinx. 

QnQ Noooo he keeps trying to make me leeeaaave

“Amaina, we’re just… it’s a little complicated right now, that’s all. We’re…” Arven frowned, glancing at Doppio, “We’re not a lot of fun right now. A lot has happened today.”

OoO oh what like I can’t have a serious conversation kid???

OOO I WAS DEALING WITH SHITTY DOPPIO DAD STUFF BEFORE YOU WERE A BLIP ON THE RADAR

O.O

OoO So the big guys finally getting his big knock against the head huh??

Doppio’s gaze went distant and blank again as he returned to filling the shells. “Yeah. Prince Kokichi said the case ended today so…all over, I guess. My dad’s getting transferred to a live-in hospital tomorrow.”

For…the foreseeable future. For as long as his father needed it. For…maybe forever. 

O.O

OoO I mean good right??

“Amaina, that’s not…” Arven sighed, messing up one of the shells and carefully redoing it, “...it’s more complicated than that.”

O.O no its not

OoO Even if baby senpai is sad which YEAH DUH course he would be

O.O it’s still good

Doppio nodded. “...my dad needs help. It’s good that the justice system is making sure he’s getting it, even with all the stuff he’s done to hurt people. I…couldn’t help him, not the way he needed, so… It’s good that he’s going to a safe place with professionals who actually know what to do.”

Doppio was quiet for half a beat before continuing. “...none of this is a surprise. Mariah and I talked about all that a while ago, and…it’s not like anyone expected the jury to find him innocent on anything. It might be confirmed now, but…we all knew this was coming.”

“Well, yeah, but!” Arven frowned, looking worriedly at Doppio, “...I don’t know. I don’t know! You’re… it’s sad.”

OoO it’s good

“You lost a parent.”

OoO He lost him a long time ago

“It’s permanent now.”

OoO It was permanent the second Doppio let go

“It’s still okay to grieve!”

OOO IT’S OKAY TO CELEBRATE TOO

There was a small hiccup interrupting Arven and Amaina’s back and forth, Doppio bracing his hands on the counter like it was the only thing keeping him up. His expression only slightly pinched, though his eyes were red. 

“...I don’t want to celebrate,” Doppio nearly whispered, his voice cracking. “...but that just makes me feel awful too.”

Arven didn’t care they were in the middle of cooking. He wrapped his arms around Doppio and held him tight… and then he burst into tears.

OoO Little king that is NOT helpful!

O.O

Q.Q

QOQ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 

Amaina threw herself into Doppio’s neck, sobbing into it as she shouted, I’M SORRY BUT HE SUCKED AND I DONT LIKE HIM AND I WANT HIM TO STEP ON A THOUSAND LEGOS AND IM SOOOORRRYYYYY

Doppio buried his face in Arven’s shoulder and hiccuped through tears, his shoulders shuddering. “...I know… Nothing has changed, we…we a-all knew all of this ages ago…”

“...he sucked but he’s still my dad… I’ve already decided not to s-see him a-after before, but now he’s leaving a-and I might not ever see him again and I knew all this…”

“Y-yeah, but it’s still hard, and it’s scary, and I look at you and I wonder if mom ever comes back what am I going to do!?” Arven sobbed, “Because you can’t just abandon your kid! And I don’t know I keep thinking dammit this is hard and I know I’d be so angry and I’d feel bad so I’m worried that you’re angry and you feel bad! And I don’t know what to say!”

QoQ YOUR MOM ALSO SUCKS AND DESERVES A THOUSAND LEGOS AND I’M SOORRRRYYYYY I JUST WANT YOU BOTH TO BE HAPPY!!!

QmQ I wanted to show you beautiful things…

QOQ AND INSTEAD I JUST GOT YOUR SHITHEAD DAD ARRESTED 

QnQ I’m sorry

Doppio put his arms around Arven and held him tight. He knew Arven didn’t have the same pressure thing as him, but it still felt right to do and… He didn’t know. It was hard and this all sucked and they were going to have to wash their hands again to finish dinner. 

“It’s not…o-or…” Doppio sniffled in hurt and frustration, squeezing Arven tighter. “...I forgive you, Amaina… This sucks and it hurts and I’m scared, but…” He let out a shaky sigh. “...but I could never really be the help my dad needs, and he…he can’t be the parent I need. I would’ve been…happy, not knowing anything a-and doing work for Passione that’d hurt…who knows how many people, and…and letting my dad puppet my body whenever he wanted and…letting him hurt me. But…that’s not okay and…and I can be hurt by things changing but…also thankful for you…starting everything to change.”

Doppio huddled more into Arven’s shoulder. “...you don’t have to say anything. Just…this. Is good.”

Kaito almost walked into the room, but he heard the sniffling and sobbing before he opened the door, and uncertainly leaned against the wall by the door. It didn’t sound like… bad sobbing. Kaito was kind of an expert these days, on different tones of ‘sobbing your heart out’, and this one sounded… okay. A good kind of sobbing. The needed kind.

Kaito looked at the basket full of various baking ingredients he was holding in his hand, and decided to wait. Maybe Doppio and Arven didn’t need any more distractions at the moment. He’d hold off.

…he hoped he’d get to hug Doppio later. 

-

Kokichi had to say it, Luminary pasta dishes were so good. Or, at least Doppio’s rendition of them, but the concept was so solid Kokichi felt confident making a sweeping statement. And then after a rich, cheesy dish, the lemon curd cookies the boys and Kaito had made were incredible! It had been the kind of dinner that made Kokichi think he was going to get a fantastic night’s sleep, so…

Well, at least he had plenty of fuel to use. 

It was a serious discussion to have, but…well, that didn’t mean it had to be devoid of nice things, so Kokichi nibbled on a memory of the cookies as he sat on the raised platform in the pond, waiting for his friends. 

Alter Ego and Temp had said they were free, and his husbands had given their blessings, so…it was time to make a plan of action. 

Temp was whistling a bit, as he manifested into Kokichi’s consciousness. 

He had spent some time with Thalia that day, which was… always nice. More specifically, he had spent time with her cat monstrosity presentation. Which they did on occasion, after a fluke situation had revealed the absolute baffling reality that Addason thought Thalia’s inner projection was delightful.

Nothing made Addason laugh and giggle like staring into the face of Thalia’s razer-sharp cheshire smile. It was baffling. The kid whimpered if Temp took him too close to the dog statues at home, but Thalia’s nightmare fuel inner cat-self? Addason giggled and reached out to pet her fur and contently drifted off into dreamless sleeps, every time.

It was baffling. Thalia was very smug about it. It was… interesting.

“Hello Temp,” greeted the other cat in Temp’s life, Alter Ego’s tail flicking from the top of the circus beams, “How has going back to work been?”

“My secretary has gotten overzealous again,” Temp mused, looking around Kokichi’s circus, “She changed the entire schedule rotations for the entire staff, including the outsourced workers while I was on leave.”

“Is it a mess?”

“It’s working better than ever. I’m afraid I’m going to have to give her a raise, which is absolutely going to encourage her to intolerable levels,” Temp sighed, “Where is our host?”

“Oop, sorry!” A slightly tinny voice came from the air, as if through a speaker, before like a wheel the circus clipped away, Temp and Alter Ego staying where they were while the fish-filled pond took its place. There was a raised platform in the middle, on which a garden table and seats sat, Kokichi waving while covering a mouthful of lemon curd cookie, the dish of stuffed shells on the table as well, though Kokichi was more focused on the sweets. 

Swallowing, he smiled at his friends. “That sounds like some wonderful work your secretary has done, though. When it turns out workflow can be helped just with scheduling, it almost feels like a cheat code.”

“Please do not tell her that. At this rate she’s going to want to run the operation herself, and then I’ll have to find a new secretary. Competent secretaries are so difficult to nail down. They always end up using those organizational skills on their own big projects.” Temp sighed, disappearing into a puff of smoke and appearing in the seat opposite of Kokichi, immediately reaching for a plate of shells, “Ah, a Luminary meal? Your family telling stories again?”

Alter Ego landed on the table, immediately licking on one of the cookies, “Lemon curds, excellent. May I get some mil– ah, thank you,” Alter Ego said, lapping at a bowl of milk before settling onto their paws, “First of all, how are you both? Can you focus?”

“Addason is sound sleep,” Temp said, lifting up his pinky, where a thin white thread briefly shined in the sun, “I’ll know if he needs me, otherwise I can focus.”

Kokichi could only shrug with a grin. To him…that was ideal, no? People continually learning new skills and working on new things only benefited everyone in the end, even if it meant having to fill the space they leave when doing their own things. But the marks that they left would still be there, while opening space for new ideas… Well, Temp knew the business in and out. He’d be able to handle everything sent his way. 

“Sort of? Doppio-kun gets excited to try out some of the dishes Kai-chan tells him about, especially the pasta ones. He made these to share for dinner and they were so good,” Kokichi praised with a happy sway. “I have no idea if stuffed shells in Luminary are like these, but I really like his take on it.”

Smiling a bit at Temp’s tether, Kokichi nodded for himself. “The boys have had a rough day, but they’re usually alright through the night, and while I might wake up if Miya does, Kai-chan and Shuu-chan were really supportive of me coming back into the fold, and they said that they’d be more attentive to her if she wakes up.” He shrugged a little. “We all tend to take natural shifts anyway, but…well, I won’t be super worried if I notice her, and I can give my focus to our efforts.”

“Which… How do we want to approach it?” Kokichi asked. “I know you’ve been keeping an eye on my husbands, Alter Ego, and we talked about that earlier… Should we try contacting someone new tonight?”

“Contacting?” Temp said, raising an eyebrow, crossing his arms and legs as he leaned back, “Are we talking about setting up a new defense in someone? Jumping right back into it?”

“Why not? What else are we waiting on other than practical experiments and practicing the techniques we’ve already learned?” Alter Ego asked, “Both Shuichi and Kaito’s defenses were a mixture of an idea the conditioned believed in and a person they could trust. With enough power from our ends to create a defense that can imitate these fused ideas, the mind accepts the defense so entirely that the melding makes the defense strong enough to actually adapt to the adaption of the conditioning. Ideally, only a few visits afterwards to ensure the adaption isn’t causing problems, and eureka, conditioning solved.”

“You make it sound so simple, summarized like that,” Temp smiled lightly, before sighing, “I will be our mandatory naysayer. We don’t know if if Shuichi and Kaito’s success wasn’t partially because one of the empaths that set up their defenses was someone they trust completely. A stranger might reject a defense from us entirely.”

“Thus the need for more attempts.” Alter Ego said.

“Fair enough… there’s so many conditioned,” Temp sighed, “I’d like to propose that on top of practical exercises? We should be looking into the idea of making the defenses contagious.” 

“...isn’t that a myth?” Alter Ego frowned, “I’d love to be told it’s not, but…”

“If you believe the myths that half of mass hysteria cases are empaths accidentally spreading contagious mental attacks…?” Temo shrugged, “I know, I know, that’s very likely just anti-empath propaganda… but imagine if it’s not? Empaths have just as many reasons to bury that information if it is real, it’s worth looking into.”

Alter Ego was right. They could monitor Griffin and Saint Madison for years, but understanding how defenses would work in any other person’s mind…required trying it out with another person. Seeing every condition that made the defense successful, or would cause issues… They’d troubleshooted everything they could up to this point with his husbands, but barring the single goal of seeing out a defense held up for years? They would only be able to learn anything more with more people. 

And it was important that they learn, because as tidily as Alter Ego summed their process up, Kokichi really didn’t think two successes was enough to feel confident teaching every trustworthy Empath on the continent yet. It made things unbearably slow for the people with conditioning, but…

Kokichi frowned a bit. Mass hysteria, contagious mental attacks… 

“...I agree that would be worth looking into…but I think there’s a lot to learn about it before I’d feel alright making something that would…automatically spread from person to person, without oversight. The last thing I’d want would be to accidentally tear someone apart, because the type of conditioning they have is incompatible with the type of defense spread around. And I wouldn’t feel alright adding a tether to the contagious defense, just to keep an eye out for that possibility.”

“That’s fair, but if we did hit jackpot, and figure out the perfect, flawless defense?” Temp said, “I’d love to have that sort of ace in our backpocket.”

“I’ll keep it in our research option, but! That’s not the goal of the night. I agree with Kokichi, the goal is to find some new candidates. Now… I’m actually going to recommend the man we met today, Kokichi.”

Temp watched as behind Alter Ego, a man stepped in to stand behind Alter Ego, hands in his pockets and looking around warily. “...Kaito?” Temp asked, raising an eyebrow, before amending, “A short, sick Kaito?”

“Sick?” Alter Ego looked over their shoulder, “Why, because he’s pale? Look, hear me out. Having a conditioned that one of us is physically in contact with would give us more data points, right? Cathan here–”

“Sick, short Kaito, yes.” Temp mused, popping a cookie into his mouth.

“--has agreed to meet with Hiro for some fortune telling in the future. If Hiro can convince him to be a regular? Hiro could regularly check in with him, make sure his conditioning isn’t physically affecting him in ways more than just keeping him from freezing to everyone who speaks harshly to him.”

“Alright… counteroffer,” Temp said, “Nekomaru.”

“Just him? Not Shuichi’s mentor?” Alter Ego.

“If there’s side effects, one of them needs to be clear headed while they’re traveling in the winter.” Temp explained, “We don’t want to endanger them.”

Sure, but there were a lot of factors to get to that point. Kokichi would much rather figure out a perfect, recreatable defense and then have to figure out how to naturally spread it than know how to make a mental phenomenon contagious, but still have kinks to work out with their defense. 

At Alter Ego’s suggestion, Kokichi nodded with a small hum, finding no reason to object. …and not just because Cathan resembled his husband. “I do agree that working with someone one of us is around is a good idea, for monitoring side effects. That worked out for my husbands. And…while it’s not truly this point, since Alter Ego and I have technically met Cathan before, I think it’d help us figure out some of the questions we still have, working with someone that doesn’t have a connection to any of us. Figuring it out if the defense works because it’s made from the memory of someone they trust, or if it was more to do with the creator,” he nodded to Temp. 

Though…the counteroffer…

Kokichi smiled guiltily. “...I will be biased towards my family, still. And…I think that’s a good point, not just for the specific situation Kyouko and Nekomaru are in. While I’d like to help everyone as soon as possible…I don’t think we should spread ourselves too thin, still. Just in case.”

“What do you guys think?” he asked.

Alter Ego and Temp glanced at each other. 

“...flip a coin?” Temp offered.

“Should we really treat it that idly? Whoever we don’t choose could potentially get hurt while they’re waiting for their turn.” Alter Ego pointed out, “A part of me would feel guilty leaving that to luck.”

“Actually,” Temp said, eyes widening slightly, “...that might be a point in your favor, Alter Ego. Conditioning is triggered by authority, right? Nekomaru Nidai was one of the highest ranking Indentured’s in the country, working for the highest ranking family, and he was exceptionally trained, like Maki.”

“Yes?” Alter Ego said.

“Has Maki ever responded to an accidental triggering?” Temp asked, “Has she ever obeyed compulsively someone who wasn’t Kaito? It could be that Nekomaru’s conditioning just won’t work, until he returns to the royal family.”

Kokichi nodded slowly, considering that. He supposed some of their flippancy came from the fact that there were hundreds of people that had the chance to be hurt because of their conditioning at any moment. It didn’t mean that they had an impossible, worthless task in front of them, but it did mean that triage selection was…difficult to the point of being borderline useless. Every person they helped was…well, a person helped, and that was a good thing, but going out to find the people in the most danger would…likely only delay them from helping anyone at all, and eventually getting to everyone. 

However, narrowing their scope to two options? Weighing the danger became much more doable. 

“I didn’t try, but as long as I’ve known her, only Kai-chan’s ever triggered Maki-chan’s conditioning,” Kokichi nodded. “And Shuu-chan said that the only reason other people were able to trigger his was because his conditioning was bungled. Maki-chan did mention that part of the assassin conditioning that she and Nekomaru would have was emotional conditioning, which is more of a…constant thing, but…” Kokichi shrugged tiredly. “It’s something that he’s lived with for decades, and I think would take more than having a defense to work through himself. So…you’re right, he’s not in danger because of his conditioning. And you mentioned it earlier, Temp, going through the teething trials of getting a defense while he and Kyouko are traveling through snowy mountains might actually be more of an issue.”

Nodding, Kokichi smiled softly. “...so that makes a good case for us asking Cathan tonight. Agreed?”

Temp considered this, before nodding, “I’ll admit, I was also biased to offer Nekomaru as well. We chatted a few times while he was here, and he did a lot to help you all before he left. I thought we owed him a bit, by this point. I know if something were to happen to Addason, I’d want an assassin running behind him, making sure he’s safe.”

“But,” Temp sighed, leaning back, “We should prioritize the one who’s literally getting mugged in the street for his conditioning.” Alter Ego had filled him in earlier in the day, about Cathan, when Temp had first heard about the meeting that day, “So, sure. Color-swapped Kaito.”

“Ey,” Cathan said, narrowing his eyes at Temp from behind Alter Ego, crossing his arms, “Best be watch’en urself, before ‘ou insult a man to ‘s face.”

“Your attempt at his accent is terrible.” Temp told Alter Ego.

“‘S how ‘e sounds like!” ‘Cathan’ insisted.

“Let’s go,” Alter Ego said, getting up, “I’ll make the path.”

Kokichi smiled softly, gratitude crinkling his eyes. “I know he doesn’t consider it a debt, since looking after the boys was a favor Maki had asked…but I am very grateful to him anyway. I’m sure they’ve long been eaten, but I know Doppio-kun did cook up some food for Nekomaru and Kyouko to take on their trip back… I’ll have to ask him if there’s anything he wants to add when I make my care packages for them.”

It’d still be a while, since it was difficult to send mail to someone on the road, but, still. For as freaked out and bogged down by the whirlwind of chaos around him, Kokichi had thought it was sweet that Doppio had still remembered everyone who had helped him over the past month. Kokichi thought it was adorable how Nazumi described Lake grinning with the light of the sun when they’d gotten flowers delivered to their house and she’d read the tag on them. 

He really was a good kid, and hopefully things would be getting better for him soon. 

But. That wasn’t what tonight was about. 

Shaking his head at the light bickering around him, Kokichi stood and followed Alter Ego through one of their portals. Knowing that, through concern, Alter Ego probably would’ve found out and mentioned something if Kokichi’s dispelling earlier had caused Cathan issues, but…he still hoped the guy was alright.

-

Cathan was having a good night, actually.

Oh, sure, his old boss waylaying him and trying to rob him through his conditioning had sucked. Not ideal. But, he had gotten rescued! By some weird fortune teller guy, who had given him a pretty neat fortune after that: a golden opportunity would soon come his way!

Cathan wasn’t sure if he believed in future telling. But he had seen enough magic in his life to feel like, if the fortune teller wasn’t full of shit? That’d be a nice fortune. And even if it wasn’t, it had come from a nice guy. So all in all, good~

And then, after that? He had gone back to his loft, and celebrated his first paycheck as a free man with his friends! Who had drank long into the night with him– Luminary was ahead of Dicea by a few hours, especially at the far coast– and then had further celebrated in ways that left him… delightfully worn out. So with a small hiccup? Tonight had been a great night, and Cathan had fallen asleep warm and happy and surrounded by the people most important to him.

So, he had been dreaming of floating in a warm ocean, a beach nearby, content in the knowledge that he was safe and his friends were nearby… and frowned lightly as he heard a small groan. “Why is it always wet!?”

Kokichi smiled fondly as he offered his shoulders to Alter Ego, a common arrangement for them, for the commonality of water. “I think it’s happened often enough that we should expect things to be wet more than we expect it to be dry. Especially for physically being by the sea? I feel like I’d dream about the ocean a lot if I could look out a window and see it.”

He wasn’t really sure if this was the western ocean actually, but…it really was peaceful, in a different sort of way than the southern ocean Kokichi had seen himself. And perched in an inner tube--the same he had used in Doppio’s mind, actually--Kokichi enjoyed the feeling of the warm water for a moment, before he gave Cathan a friendly wave. 

“Hello, Mr. Cathan! Sorry to bother your nice dream! But my friends and I have a proposal for you, if you’d like to hear us out!”

Cathan frowned, looking up at… two people floating on innertubes? And a cat on one of them, the other in a massive black sunhat, sunglasses, sipping on a mango smoothie. Nothing inherently dangerous about other beach enjoyers, but…

“...you aren’t supposed to be here,” Cathan said, his accent thick, even when not phonetically spelled out, “...right? Wait,” Cathan tried to adjust his float to sit up, something screaming at him in his mind that something was… off… “This isn’t… somewhere you can go…”

“That’s correct,” Temp said, sucking on his smoothie a bit, peeking at Cathan from above his sunglasses, “But, you have nothing to fear from us. We’re the good type of intruders. The kind that announces our presence.”

“Aye? Intruders are still intruders…” Cathan muttered, swimming on the surface now as he warily looked at the intruders, “...proposal?”

“You have a conditioning problem,” Alter Ego said, resting on Kokichi’s shoulder, “We just happen to be working on a conditioning solution. We’d like your permission to try to cure your conditioning.”

“...” Cathan stared warily at the cat, still treading water, “...try?”

“We’ve had two successful attempts,” Temp explained, “But it’s still a very new process, and you’d be our third attempt. And we can make no guarantees, beyond ensuring that if anything went wrong, we’d prioritize your safety.”

“And sanity,” Alter Ego added in, “We will put you in no true danger, and you will not be abandoned if anything goes wrong.”

“...that’s some grand talk, for three people I can’t… see?” Cathan said, frowning as he stared at them, “No, wait, I can see you, but… I can’t…”

“We have to protect our identities,” Temp said, “What you’re noticing is you can’t hold the memory of who we are in your mind. You can see us, and hear us, but you can’t recall exactly what we look like or who you’d recognize.”

“...is one of you really a cat?” Cathan asked, “A… pretty? Cat?”

“You can recognize general things about us. But you’d never be able to say with certainty which cat I was, if you saw me among a group of cats.” Alter Ego explained.

“I think I’d probably just guess it’s whichever cat that’s talking all proper-like.” Cathan said.

“That’s fair.” Alter Ego nodded.

Kokichi nodded along with his friends. “And if you say no, then we leave, no subterfuge or coercion. Though, at the same time, when it comes to the time when we can guarantee the cure, you won’t be forgotten because you said no when it was new--we’d come ask you about it again. There’s no loss to saying no, and we won’t be careless with you if you say yes. It’s a true decision.”

It still was a rather on the spot decision, but…well, if someone ever asked to have more time to think about it, even if they wouldn’t be able to directly think about it while they were awake, Kokichi would never mind coming back in a day or two. As much as the strive for progress loomed ahead, they really did have a lot of time, and rushing would cost way too much. Whatever a person was comfortable with, those were the parameters they’d work with. 

…with a few safety measures on their side, at least. 

Kokichi laughed softly. “I guess that is kind of distinctive, huh?” he grinned, looking at Alter Ego. 

“It is, though I’d recommend not just assuming every talking cat you come across is me,” Alter Ego cautioned. Mostly because he could never be in the real world as a cat. So it wasn’t all that safe of a bet.

Cathan nodded warily, considering this new information, “...I’m gonna swim back to the beach. I can’t swim like this indefinitely.”

“We’ll follow,” Temp said. He assumed what Cathan actually wanted was a chance to think about it, so he’d let the man do his literal mental exercise. 

Cathan swam towards the beach, leaving them to figure it out if they were following him. As he swam, he considered his option. He could tell them no and they’d come back when it was ready, hm? Cathan didn’t love being experimented on. He had had more than enough of that from Ursula. His friends wouldn’t like it. Half of the reason they had done as much as they had to get taken away from their old master and given their contracts to the sailors was to stop her from experimenting on Cathan specifically. Now that they were free, he’d voluntarily put himself back on the slab? Letting more magic bullshit run through his body, while someone oo’d and aa’d to see what it did to him?

He wasn’t sure who would kick his ass harder. Fallon’s heels would hurt like all the hells combined, but Irie would take the blunters off her whips. Spare (Cathan didn’t dare say his real name in his own mind, not while others could hear) would probably curse him, then cure him, then curse him again… and then he’d cry. And Catahn would feel like such a jackass.

He should protect himself for his friends’ sakes. He should get back to the beach and send these people away. He should prioritize his family…

…

Cathan stood up on the shallow banks, sighing as he rubbed the back of his neck… before looking back at the three intruders. Who seemed to have easily floated right behind him the whole time. “...if I say yes, when this stuff works? My partners get first dibs. That’s the deal I’d make.”

“Your partners?” Temp confirmed.

Cathan pointed to the beach, where three people, two women and a man, were lounging about, hanging around in beachwear and chatting with each other. “Them. Irie, Fallon and Spare. Their conditioning gets cured, when you’re certain it won’t hurt them. If this is a cure for everyone? They’re at the front of the line.” 

Ah, true. Kokichi had yet to meet a talking cat in the physical world, but he had no reason to think they weren’t out there. Sure, classifying Alter Ego as a talking cat would definitely narrow down the applicable people, but it wasn’t a surefire guess. And, unfortunately, trusting every talking cat like he would his mentor was a capital B and I Bad Idea. 

Leaning back in his tube, Kokichi just enjoyed floating on the waves as Cathan thought the offer over. The sunny day the dream was based on would in all likelihood be way too hot for him in reality, but the construction of ‘enjoyableness’ that the dream was made out of made it…well, very comfortable and enjoyable. Kokichi was truly enjoying the colder days as they came, excited for each new ‘fall’ thing--using the fireplace, wearing a certain sweater for the first time since early spring--but it was still pleasant to escape the chill like this. 

Kokichi found his feet on the rising coast of sand, looking up as Cathan stopped, and looked over at his indication. A soft smile crossing his face, before it widened, returning to Cathan. “That’s a promise we can make. In an ideal circumstance, we’d just be able to snap our fingers and help everyone with their conditioning, you know?” Kokichi grinned wearily, “But…as it’s looking for now, it’s a person-by-person basis, so…when we no longer have to preface this as ‘trying’? Your partners are first on the list. Promise.”

Cathan looked down at Kokichi, something in him recognizing Kokichi as the leader of this particular group… before spitting into his hand, reaching down to him, “I want it sworn on a loved one. Entrusting my loved ones on anything less is foolish.”

Nodding, Kokichi awkwardly waded himself farther onto the shore, wanting to be able to stand, before he spit in his own hand and clasped Cathan’s. “For your partners, I’ll swear on mine, my husbands, that as soon as we’re confident in our cure for conditioning, your partners, Irie, Fallon, and Spare will be the first people we reach out to to cure theirs.”

Maybe it was a little much, in both a promise and in information, but…well. Kokichi wasn’t a stranger to giving out pieces of himself. Smiling gently, he half-shrugged. “...I have a kid, you know? I’m the kind of guy that thinks about this sort of thing a lot, but especially for them…I want a better world for my children. I want a world where people are given back full dominion of their minds, where not just the harm of the Program is over, protecting the future, but the people already harmed aren’t forgotten, or considered scars of an ugly past. I want my kids to grow up in a world where everyone can be helped…so that includes you, and your partners. Thank you for extending your trust to us--I swear we won’t betray it.”

Cathan nodded, and while he knew he had no real reason to believe anything any of them said… he did. And he relaxed when the leader swore on his own husbands, and explained why he wanted to do this. Cathan had no children, but he could understand wanting to make a better world for them. He could understand fighting for that. 

“Alright, then,” Cathan said, shaking Kokichi’s hand before stepping back, looking at the three. “...so, uh… how’s this start then? You need me to go somewhere… somewhere…” Cathan frowned, looking around, “...where in the shite am I anyway?”

“We’re in your mind, and don’t worry, we’re not asking you to go anywhere physical. We’re not going to do any physical harm to you,” Alter Ego promised.

“But, this might be uncomfortable. Conditioning is inherently an act of trauma, and we’ll literally have to poke at that trauma to understand what we’re working with.” Temp explained, getting out of his inner tube, letting it hang around his hips as he continued, “It’s partly why we’re being so open and, if you’ll excuse us, silly?” Temp said, pointing generally at himself, and then the others, “At worse, our attempts to help you could borderline on cruelty, if we manage to re-traumatize you. Keeping it light and a little harmless while we can will help you relax, and can give us a safe place to go back to if this becomes too much. If you have a panic attack or something like that, we can bring you back to the beach to decompress.”

“I see,” Cathan said, looking to the sand at his family, who he guessed weren’t actually there. “My mind, aye? Alright. I’ve seen weirder magic. That makes you lot empaths?”

“You’re familiar with that?” Alter Ego asked.

“Aye. When you’re for sale, the person who buys you isn’t always just looking for cheap labor,” Cathan said grimly, “Sometimes they just want someone who can’t say no to whatever random experiments they have in mind. Me and my partner's old owner was the magic sort. Forced to keep her secrets, forced to let her harvest what she needed, forced to bare the brunt of her ideas… forced into a lot of things. When we realized she meant to use us all up and then just buy her next round of indentured’s, realized it was either escape her or die.”

“How’d you manage it?” Temp asked. 

“Tried to expose her as a demon at first. Didn’t take. Finally got her to make a more powerful enemy than herself. She disappeared trying to escape with us out into the sea when her enemy caught up to her. No idea what happened to her.” Cathan admitted, glancing warily out to sea, “We washed up on a beach, the guards collected us, resold us to the closest career available, and we all ended up on a crew together. Half luck, half design. We decided to stick close to the ocean once we were free. Sure, she might still be out there somewhere, but… so’s our friend. They’ll watch out for us.”

“You stumbled upon a fascinating story, abomination.” Temp mused.

“Fascinating attracts fascinating, zombie.” Alter Ego said.

“...zombie?” 

“You are literally a skeleton right now, what else would you call it?”

“At least call me a lich! Zombies are so… basic.” Temp frowned.

“Will this take long?” Cathan asked, ignoring their banter. “Will I stay asleep through the whole process? I can’t just be in a coma for weeks, my partners will lose their minds.”

“It will technically be a long process, but. Most of that process will be check ins and adaptions when needed,” Alter Ego explained, “The biggest thing we can do tonight, and shouldn’t take longer than a few hours of sleeping.”

Kokichi raised his eyebrows in surprise, hearing Cathan so easily call them out as Empaths, though as his story went on, surprise turned into a sort of grim, sympathetic frustration. He didn’t really expect that anyone who had been through the program would have a happy story, but…this really was uniquely awful. It was…good to know there was potentially a dangerous magic user last seen in…likely the western sea, he guessed. Hopefully the disappearance that had helped Cathan and his partners meant that other people were safe too. 

Nodding to back up Alter Ego, Kokichi elaborated, “You’re not the first person we’ve asked for collaboration. While the initial set up has never taken longer than someone’s natural hours of sleep, there was someone who woke up minutes after the set up, because of an outside emergency. None of this should keep you knocked out for ages.”

Alright… It still was dangerous to fully base a defense off someone you personally knew, but…okay. Cathan had deep bonds with his partners that had weathered torture, and…that enemy that had caused that magic user to flee… Maybe there was something there that could be a basis for the defense. The other half of it, though…

Grimacing, Kokichi sighed, “We will likely have to trigger your conditioning, though, to see how it manifests. See exactly what we’d need to combat, you know? The defense we’d make is adaptable, just like conditioning itself, but it needs to start from somewhere.”

“I see,” Cathan frowned, shifting a little uncomfortably… before huffing. Kicking the sand beneath the water a bit, before nodding, “Guess I shoulda expected that. Can’t say I love getting an order… never took to it like the others did. Couldn’t stand it, found myself always… zoning out.” Cathan admitted, tapping on his temple, “Retreating. Couldn’t help myself, it makes my skin crawl.”

“We promise not to abuse it.” Temp said, “In fact, is there somewhere you’d rather be while we do this? This seems like a happy place to you, so we don’t mess it up with a foul memory?”

Cathan considered that. “...well, shite, may as well just shit on more memories of the manor. Can’t make that place any worse. But uh, it’s a bit of ways from here.”

“Give me a moment,” Temp said, “And allow me to push every so slightly…”

Cathan frowned, as the world spun away, and suddenly they were in the banquet hall of the manor. His mood darkening as he looked at the still familiar dark walls, light dark under weak lantern light as all the windows were covered by heavy velvet curtains. Privacy paramount in the sorceress’ manor. 

“...shit, I have some immediate regrets.” Cathan admitted, shivering slightly in the cold, “But I ain’t going back on my word just yet. Alright, do what you need to do. I’m ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I expect we’ll see the shadow men again,” Temp mused, stepping forward to Cathan, who gave him a confused look back, “Conditioning trained in the warehouse? I expect there was only so many ways they could traumatize their victims. Shadowy hands harming you will likely manifest.”

“Sure.” Cathan said, “Whatever you say, lich.”

“Mmhm,” Temp said, searching Cathan’s mind for an authority and, finding her, out stepped a woman he assumed from a shallow reading was the woman that had cornered Cathan in the alley. 

But it wasn’t. This woman was small and girlish, with short bouncy pink-ish hair and big, white eyes that danced with shimmering color like opals. And Cathan took an instinctive step back from her as she stepped out of Temp and towards him, ordering with a small, razor toothed smile, “Sit down, Cathan.”

Cathan’s eyes widened, his heartbeat immediately upticking, as he whispered, “What’d you bring her here for, how’d you–” the room darkened, but Cathan immediately sat down, practically falling onto his ass, as he stared up at the woman.

“Your supervisor is not real,” Temp reminded him, while Alter Ego shot Temp a bewildered look, “But allow yourself to believe in the dream for a moment. Though, this time try to resist the order. We need to see what conditioning looks like when it’s forcing you into an action.”

“Lich, that’s not–”

“Cathan~” The woman sang-songed, holding out her hands, “Come here.”

Cathan’s heart started to pound, holding himself back, trying to refuse. No, no, he was never going back to her… and at their feet, the smallest bit of water started to rise. And rise. And out of that water, rose tentacles. The strong, curling limbs of an octopus, looming over Cathan, before snapping out, grabbing his limbs and with quick, easy motions, puppetting his muscles to force him onto his knees, pushing them forward to crawl towards her. The dark around them oppressive and blinding, the woman the only thing visible to Cathan as the scenery faded away.

Kokichi nodded sympathetically. For dealing with conditioning himself, that was a fine coping mechanism…though not one that protected Cathan from anything other than obeying an order. But having seen it in action earlier, Kokichi couldn’t blame him or anyone for not wanting to be present while their body just…did things. 

He frowned a little at the dark, dreary manor they ended up in. It wasn’t his decision, so he wouldn’t change anything, and…there probably was something to doing potentially traumatizing things in a place that already sucked to you… Kokichi couldn’t help but think, though, that maybe going to an entirely imaginary place might…be better. To not start from the beginning in an uneasy place. 

And that wasn’t the only uneasy thing. 

Kokichi hadn’t seen Cathan’s supervisor either, so he didn’t recognize the woman that appeared…but he did recognize the uneasiness and objection coming off his mentor. And…maybe it was cruel. But for a moment, Kokichi let things play out--even if this wasn’t right, it…did seem that Cathan’s conditioning was triggered, and…even if the experiment wasn’t as controlled as they meant, only having to do it once was kinder to the man. 

Water. Tunnel-vision darkness. Tentacles. 

…that was enough. 

“Oh, fuck off!” Kokichi snarled, stepping forward between Cathan and the woman. He lifted his arms, a sun starting small in his palms, but soon growing, rapidly becoming like a real sun, piercing through the darkness. A sun to shimmer off the water, a sun like…a day at the beach with friends you shared your heart with, the kind of day that people wrote dawns as a metaphor for new beginnings with, not only freeing but…fun. The scent of grilled squid in the air, the mark of a festival…

It wouldn’t be a full defense, but…if this worked? It might be the start. 

The sorceress, reflecting Cathan’s memories of her, smiled in a way that could easily be called a snarl… but it wasn’t long before Cathan couldn’t even really see her smile. The light shining so bright that it was blinding, drowning out not only the sorceress, but everything else. Cathan couldn’t see the tentacles, or the dark walls of the manor, or the water over his hands and up his wrists… and when his vision returned, they were back in the ocean. Only it was… different. It was still shallow, and he still felt like he could feel a hard surface beneath his hands. And it was ocean water, but it was so still. Calm, the only ripples being from his own small movements.

In the distance, was a small island, perfectly circular. There was familiar laughter in that direction. HIs family was grilling sea-food. Something Fallon had probably caught. Irie was probably actually doing the grilling, but Spare had likely made some neat little sauce for it… it was a festival? Maybe the colors festival…

As Cathan watched the little island in the distance, letting himself be soothed by this weird, other place, Temp looked around. “...I think you may have just made a lounge in him,” Temp told Kokichi, “I’d ask what your strategy is, but knowing you, it was literally an impulsive burst of power.”

“A place. Interesting,” Alter Ego said, back at Kokichi’s shoulder now that water had returned. “He does tend to mentally retreat when his conditioning is triggered. Maybe we could use that mental retreat as a way to combat the conditioning?”

“I’d worry that it’d trap him in his own mind as a side effect,” Temp mused, looking around, “...what if we made a defense that trapped the tentacles here? Deep beneath this water? His conditioning is triggered, the defense, briefly, brings him here, the conditioning gets pushed by the light defense Kokichi just made down into the water, and the moving defense that would bring him here in the first place lets him out, and keeps the conditioning here?”

“Utilizing his coping method as a way to self-soothe quickly out of an order?” Alter Ego asked, “Great in theory. We have no idea if conditioning can be contained into one spot though.”

“Conditioning goes where he goes, that’s how it bullies the host into doing what it says.” Temp explained, “Kokichi’s already made an area that’s proven the tentacles can’t function in, since none are around. Enhancing the defense to pull him in and then let him out seems feasible to me.”

“Okay… Kokichi?” Alter Ego said, looking to Kokichi, “Do you want to try to make this defense have a moving part? If it’s all you, the two defenses might work more cohesively, and so far our two success cases only had one empath designing them. It might matter.”

“I’d still recommend basing it on someone he trusts,” Temp said, looking to Cathan, “You said there was a friend you had in the ocean that you trusted to look out for you, should ‘she’ come back? Who is that?”

“They… don’t have a name proper,” Cathan said, shakily standing up, looking more wary now, though he was notably standing closer to Kokichi, clearly trusting him the most out of the group now, “...we call them ‘Creature’. Just sorta stuck.”

And morphing out of the water, looking like it was in some ways already attached to the water beneath them, a pink sludge formed up and up, before two bright lights floated up to their head, a… well, creature. Of pink slime, staring down at them. Silent and curious. 

Cathan looked up at them, something soft in his expression. It had been a long time since he had seen them. Not since they dragged the sorceress down into the depths. He hoped they were alright, just out there… being water. Or whatever the hell they were.

As the sun floated up into the air, Kokichi ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “...oops… I just tried to make the ‘bones’ of a defense, something that would combat all the elements,” he gestured to the sun, “but…I guess getting it to fit everything made a place…”

He…hadn’t meant to do that. Sure, lobbies were helpful, but really only if you were aware of them and could utilize them, and Kokichi didn’t want to make things in people’s minds that were just…extra things to trip them up. 

…but it wasn’t a lobby, it was a lounge, and…it wasn’t the conditioning that had gotten Cathan to dissociate when he was stressed by it. That was a coping method that was all him, so it was something that wouldn’t just go away if his conditioning did. …so…by already using a self-made defense, and…sort of retrofitting it into something calming that would lock down conditioning, and then let Cathan back into purposeful awareness? It wasn’t the worst idea…

So making a part of the defense, within the lounge, that could hold the conditioning away and do all that…

Kokichi blinked at the figure morphing out of the water, before he blushed. Staring a little obviously in awe. Leaning towards Cathan, Kokichi held a hand up to mention, hushed, “Your friend is super cute!”

But, gaining a little composure, he double checked, “...you trust their strength and capabilities, right? That they’d look out for you? Even in a mental projection, trust is a sacred thing, so I wouldn’t want to use their form as part of your defense if you aren’t confident. Even if you haven’t seen each other in a long time…I don’t want to ruin your relationship, I mean.”

“Do I trust Creature…?” Cathan said, looking up at them. Their wide, glowing eyes looking back.

“...I trust Creature to be a little shit, about ninety percent of the time.” Cathan scoffed, scratching the back of his ear a little, “I trust them to take jokes too far and pretend not to understand ya when you’re shouting at them like suddenly they don’t know a lick of common, and I trust that they’ll always treat personal space like a damn suggestion, and I trust that when those little bubbles in there start to rise and move it definitely means this assholes laughing at ya. The big pink bastard.”

“...but I trust that they care about me,” Cathan said, reaching forward and lightly putting his fingertips over the surface of the pink sludge, “I trust that they can learn what it really means to hurt you, and when they do learn, they stop… I trust that when they care about you? They give up… fucken hells, literally everything. They turn their back on the woman that gave them everything and throw themselves back against her, cause they know it’s either that or I’m doomed. And I trust they’d never leave me to be hurt like that again.”

“...Atua’s fucking arse, I miss this fucking asshole.” Cathan whispered, “What a piece of shit. I tried to set them on fire once. Cause I was so… tired of it. And you know what they did when they realized I was trying to kill them? They held me. They put out the fire, and they hid all the evidence of what I did, and they hid me from her, and they held me. And unless she was making them? They never hurt me again. Like it was only then that they realized I genuinely didn’t like it. Sneaky little bastard… they really did change…”

“A friend who can learn and adjust to the needs of the host, and prioritizes their mental health over themselves?” Alter Ego summarized, “Who’s flexible and sneaky and used to tricking people? Sounds like a defense that could learn to do switcharoos perfectly, to me.”

“Sounds like a wonderful friend,” Kokichi said softly, watching Cathan embrace Creature with a gentle look before he took a breath. Yeah…the bond and belief of someone like that would be able to protect Cathan from his conditioning just fine. Swimming absolute circles around any bullshit thrown at them. 

…Kokichi hoped they would meet again, one day. 

From the stories Cathan told, Kokichi focused, solidifying Creature’s presence, both within the domain of the lounge {safe place, yours} but with a capability throughout Cathan’s mind. Like the lounge was home base, but not a prison. He passed on as much conceptual information about Cathan’s conditioning to the defense as he could, and suggested the plan that the three Empaths had posited…but more than anything, Kokichi focused in on the faith in Creature’s ability to learn and change and protect Cathan the best way they could. The plan was an option, but the enemy would adapt, so, so shall you. 

…he also imbued the warnings and dangers of certain tactics other defenses had used, blueprints of sorts that Kokichi had nailed down into a sort of compressed memory (with Chibi Kaito’s help, naturally), to make sure any future defenses wouldn’t accidentally tear a mind apart. 

But with all those parts?

Kokichi looked up at Creature with a grin, the bright sun beaming down on them, and gave a bow. “A friend’s a precious thing. I’m honored to have met your memory, Creature.”

Creature turned their big, glowing eyes to Kokichi. Twisting its body around into spirals, it peered closely at the empath. Eyes focused. Kokichi their whole world…

And so Temp and Alter Ego did not notice the pink water quickly forming behind them, until it had wrapped its coils around their bodies, and flung them up into the air, into the distance and into the water. Little bubbles forming in their body as the cat and lich screamed, before splashing inside, and then reaching out with a suddenly formed hand, patting Kokichi on the head, before their body collapsed into the water, all the pink forming around Cathan’s feet. A protective barrier.

“...well, alright, fairs-fair, those two did throw Ursula right back into my face earlier,” Cathan muttered, crossing his arms, “Really shoulda just done my old supervisor. So, yeah. Get dunked on.”

More bubbles formed within the pink water swirling gently around Cathan’s ankles. Definitely laughing at them.

Kokichi watched in slight concern as Temp and Alter Ego were flung away…but he had his own faith in his friends. They’d be alright. And getting pet on the head by Creature was incredible.

Kokichi just marveled at that for a moment, before turning to give Cathan an apologetic look. “Sorry about that. Even with a person’s permission, we try not to pry too hard into a person while we’re doing this. So just running off the ‘vibes’ of an authority that would trigger your conditioning… Sorry. I guess the learning experience is more than just for the defenses themselves.”

“So, my cat friend mentioned it earlier, but one of us will be by every now and then to make sure things are working right--it shouldn’t be anything intrusive, and if things are working, then I doubt you’d even know we were here. If something comes up, then we’ll troubleshoot kind of like how this happened.”

Humming for a moment, Kokichi held up a finger, warning, “Ah, from what we’ve seen? Things change kind of slowly, so you won’t just…wake up one day and everything feels different. But especially for, like, emotional effects…it’s gradual. And in the physical world, you might feel kind of confused or unsure of what’s happening, and for all the things that you’ve adapted to in response to conditioning, it’ll be stuff you have to address yourself--the defense just gives you the space to do it, if you choose to.”

“Also,” he sighed, “If you got any, like, ‘good’ things, or special abilities from your conditioning, it’ll feel like those are wearing off too. Honestly, I don’t really have enough data about that point to properly give you warnings, but…I can let you know that much, at least.”

“We do wanna let you get back to your sleep, but…do you have any questions?”

“Aye, I suppose that makes sense.” Cathan said, watching Creature swish and swirl around him. Even if it wasn’t them, it felt nice to have something of them back. “Even if the arm grows back, doesn’t change how bad it was to lose it. That’s alright, I’m sure I’ll manage it.”

“Special abilities… eh,” Cathan shrugged, “Could work without sleep and through pain, but that was only when I was ordered anyway. Wasn’t exactly something I enjoyed being able to do, and it sure as hells didn’t feel good. I don’t know if my lass Irie’s ability to dance depends on her conditioning… she was ordered to do ballet, and her body forced itself to learn. She loves to dance, I hope her body doesn’t forget how to do it once the conditionings gone.”

“I,” Temp coughed, sloshing back over to them, a soaking wet Alter Ego clinging to his head, “I have to imagine the mind would learn what the body was forced to practice. It’s a good question though. Anything you learned how to do from a conditioning order?”

“Uh… cook, I suppose?” Cathan shrugged, “Cleaned? Like, real cleaning, not just wee bit of tidying up like the others do.”

“When we check in, we’ll ask you how your skills in those are holding up as the conditioning fades,” Alter Ego said, warily staring at the pink sludge around Cathan, “See if that’s something to look out for in the future. For now? Expect one of us a week from now, we’ll test your conditioning and see how Creature and the island are coming along.”

“Aye, alright then… don’t know why this has only occurred to me, but one last question,” Cathan asked, “Why me? I thought maybe you knew the sorceress or something, but ya didn’t recognize her. So… why test on me?”

“A fortune teller told you you’d get a golden opportunity,” Alter Ego said, shaking the water from their fur and straightening up on their paws, “Here I am.”

“...” Cathan sniffed, before nodding, “Alright. Fortune teller put in a good word for me. Heard… and, uh… thank you.”

Even if it was forced, Kokichi would assume the muscle memory would still be there. Maybe it wouldn’t be as fluid or come as naturally, but…those were things that could be regained with practice. But, well. That was another thing they could get better answers for. And hopefully better solutions, if ability really did fade in all things conditioning forced. Kokichi would never force someone to get a defense, but…if someone refused on the grounds of valuing their gained ability? Maybe providing methods of regaining that ability outside of conditioning would sway their decision. 

Smiling fondly at Alter Ego--making this good for Hiro’s business too, huh--Kokichi grinned at Cathan. “Thank you for accepting our offer. And I really hope we can visit your partners soon. We’ll be seeing you, Mr. Cathan.”

Cathan waved at the three entities– who he’d remember as Cat, Lich and Leader– and there’d be a moment where he thought he saw the cat pounce into the air and then something opened up… and the next thing he knew he opened his eyes in his loft. Irie with her arms draped around him, somehow taking up the most space on his body despite being the smallest of them, while Spare– Spice– was pinned between Cathan and Fallon, who was peering at him.

“You alright?” Fallon asked quietly, not trying to wake the other two, “You did that little sharp intake of breath thing you do. Nasty dream?”

“No…” Cathan murmured, his heart rate slowing, “...just vivid. It was nice. It was… I don’t know…” Cathan closed his eyes, “...like I was in trouble, and someone came to help.”

Then, after a moment, he said softly, “I think I was dreaming of Creature.”

“I see,” Fallon said softly, lightly running her fingertips over his stomach, “I dream about them too sometimes.”

“Yeah… it was nice though,” Cathan said, “Felt like a sign of good things to come.”

-

“That…mostly went well?” Kokichi grinned at his friends, just checking in before parting for the night. “I feel like we honed in on a workable defense really quickly this time. And…hopefully that isn’t a trade-off for protection,” he laughed sheepishly. 

It didn’t feel like one. While Kokichi hadn’t immediately fallen into unconsciousness, and he couldn’t feel any damage in his mind…there was a heavy bit of fatigue he could feel starting to weigh down on him. He would…probably be sleeping in tomorrow. Man, it was lucky the case had ended today…

-

Kaito ever so lightly poked Kokichi’s cheek. He and Shuichi staring down at him, while Kokichi continued to drool and softly snuffle, entirely dead to the world.

“...okay, but you’d tell me if you two got all comfy and cozy and cute last night together, right?” Kaito asked Shuichi again, who rolled his eyes, “Because this is his ‘I just got railed’ sleep expression. Did you rail our Kokichi?”

“Kaito, I already told you, no. He’s just sleeping in,” Shuichi said, inspecting Kokichi a bit, their mutual husband splayed out, his hands and feet both trying to find the heat in his bed. “...reeeaally late. Unusually late… did you–”

“Hey, no, let’s not joke about that, I don’t like that.” Kaito said quickly.

“I was going to ask if you lured him to the shrine, nothing else.”

“Oh, okay. Then still no,” Kaito pouted, “Honestly, I don’t think I could yet. It still kinda hurts down there.”

“Kaito, you literally begged me–”

“I’m just saying! The soul is willing, but the body is currently still going ooooow,” Kaito said, wincing a little as he placed his hand against his lower back, “You know, aftercare is half the fun of being wrecked. You could aftercare me a little more. Just saying.”

“I was very nice to you that night, Kaito.” Shuichi huffed, “It’s been a full day now. Now I’m starting to doubt you can handle being ‘wrecked’.”

“Nuh uh, don’t do that to me, you can’t promise to withhold sex entirely just because I’m whining that I needed a little more attention, that’s mean Shuichi,” Kaito told him sternly, “I had a lot of fun that night! It just still hurt, and I’d like some sympathy on top of the fun.”

“So needy,” Shuichi sighed, before smirking at Kaito a bit, “Alright, I’ll try to be a bit more sympathetic next time, alright?”

Kaito beamed a grin at him, happy at the ‘next time’ promise, before looking down at Kokichi, “...he still hasn’t woken up?? Usually he wakes up in the middle of us bantering over him. ‘Kichi? Are you dead?”

“...nngnma,” Kokichi nonsensically mumbled, rolling over towards the pokes and sounds, seeking out a familiar warm body to snuggle into. Or roll on top of and cling to. 

“Tsk,” Shuichi pouted, “Favoritism.”

“Eeeeee~ come here my sleepy ‘kichi~” Kaito grinned brightly, scooping Kokichi up and resting him on his chest and lap, gently petting his back as Kokichi snuggled into him, “Heehee~ I win~”

“So, are you going to meet up with that kid today?” Shuichi asked, changing the subject to hide his pout as Kokichi made a warm, satisfied sound against Kaito, “The one who sent you the sealed waxed envelope? And clearly used a calligraphy pen?”

“It’s so extra! How could I not?” Kaito beamed… before fretting a bit, “Do you think I should try asking Doppio to come? The kid was so… there was a lot happening yesterday. I can’t figure out how much I should leave him be right now or how much I should be shoving myself at him. It’s important he knows he’s cared about right now! But I tend to overwhelm him a bit.”

“You could try,” Shuichi sighed, “Just ask him if he wants you to take him out. If he doesn’t, let it go.”

“But he won’t,” Kaito frowned, still lightly petting Kokichi, “That’s the issue. I know he’ll say no. They always say no. The only way to get them to say yes is to be an asshole. And then they get more sad when they say no and you just leave. It’s a lose-lose.”

“Well…” Shuichi gave Kaito a cool look, “Just lose then. But yes, I still think you should ask either way.”

“....yeah, you’re right. I’ll ask and try to figure out if he says no because he really does need some space, or he says no because he’s in a little emotional nest of sadness and wants to die in it.” Kaito mused, “And wing it from there.”

“There you go,” Shuichi said, sloooowly reaching out for Kokichi, “You really should get on that–”

“No!” Kaito whined, flopping backwards with Kokichi, “Mine!”

“Tsk. You can’t just take him with you.”

“Watch me!”

-

As it turned out, Doppio wasn’t even home to be asked. 

“He seemed alright to me!” Lake nodded, chatting with Kaito as she walked through her castle rounds, chipper to have been able to give the guy a break from his frantic energy, asking around if anyone had seen Doppio. “Course, I wouldn’t expect him to be, and he was a little subdued. But people cope in their own ways, and it didn’t seem dangerous to me.”

“Said he had a meeting with his case workers later, and wanted to get some shopping done before then,” she explained, before laughing and making an excited sound. “Ooo, Dippin’-Dots goin’ grocery shopping is a sign of great things to come! If he feels like sharin’, you’ll be in for a treat!”

Kaito’s eyes widened, “Case worker? Man, I really wish I knew when those guys were coming or not. I know they tell King Aiichi, but… ugh. I’m gonna hire a spy in CPS’s. I know they can be bought! I wanna buy them! And my spy can tell me when they’re working on Doppio and Arven’s cases! And give me a heads up! So I can take them clothes shopping beforehand!”

“I like to think a solid new outfit will help with meeting potential future parents,” Kaito explained absentmindedly, keeping pace with Lake, “New outfits and an internal network of corrupt government officials spies. That would help… he seemed alright to you?”

Lake snorted and shook her head a bit at the dark humor. What an embarrassment… And how fucked up, you know?! Kids were important! Their safety was important! And for someone who’d be meeting with some of the most vulnerable kids out there, just to take advantage of them…

Sure, apparently Apple Leif grew a damn conscience after being caught, and her testimonies were invaluable during the Passione case, but…ugh. What a dreadful woman…

“Didn’t you guys go clothes shopping recently? Still, you could be onto something,” Lake shrugged a little, before she looked over, smiling more gently at Kaito. “He’s not bouncing off the walls or anything. But he seems okay. Probably feeling complicated, probably a little sad, but he seems to be working through it alright. Keeping busy, but not letting himself refuse to process what’s happening, you know? Heh, kid even made a joke about how he was glad he had an extra therapy appointment this week ‘cause there was way too much to talk about in just one.”

“He’s alright,” she nodded, “in that he knows he’s not alright, but is okay with that. And he’s just decided to take things a step at a time, knowing the people around him are here to help. I know you’ll still have some, but take a breath and let go of some stress, little bro. He’s a lot more open then the kid I met a month ago. We did good.”

“Yeah? Yeah…” Kaito sighed, before randomly reaching out to pull Lake into a hug, squeezing her tight and, with a grunt, pulling her off her feet for a moment, before putting the tall woman back down, “Allllright, alright, I won’t seek him out and stalk him, okay? If you say he seemed alright, I believe you. Gah! These little bastards are gonna make my hair fall out.”

“Alright! Alright! I gotta go meet up with my bodyguard, because I’m gonna go meet up with some young weirdo who left me a cryptic message in a sealed envelope, trying to tell me he has a ‘terrible secret’ he needs to share with me,” Kaito said brightly, “Which, might have worried me more, if Arven hadn’t told me a week ago that this is the same kid who’s apparently wracked with guilt for making some sort of roleplay char based off of me? Isn’t that so fucking cute!?” Kaito beamed, eyes alight with curious joy, “Someone made a whole story based off me, Lake! Isn’t that cool!? I’m looking forward to finding out more about it, that’s so flattering. I hope I’m cool in his story!”

Lake made a very brief surprised noise before laughing with her whole body, hugging Kaito back--strong enough to hear a pop in his back, actually--and letting her legs kick out a little before being set back on the ground. “It’s kids’ special ability, I’m tellin’ ya. And the little jerks aren’t even trying to be superheroes, wielding their power all willy-nilly. Important for their growth! But damn if it isn’t terrifying.”

Patting Kaito on the shoulder with a nod, Lake then tilted her head, eyes widening a bit…before she curled her hands into fists, pulling them down in front of her chest in a fit of envy. “SERIOUSLY?! Aw man, that’s incredible!! Someone taking so much inspiration from you to do roleplay…”

“Gah!” she exclaimed, before turning to Kaito, wide-eyed. “Kai-guy, you should wear one of your capes to meet him! Really embrace the presentation! This is a rare life experience, embrace it to the fullest!”

“Oh my god, yes,” Kaito realized, clenching his hands into fists as he realized, “You’re right! He’s seen me before, but if this is his ‘hero confession’ moment then I have to look the part! I’ll wear my best cape! And I’ll wear my leather armor! All my metal ones are still in that metalwork museum… OH!” 

Kaito thumped his fist into his palm, “I’mma take him to the museum! He’d be into that, wouldn’t he? I was gonna take him to a pub, but he’s still a few years off from twenty so I’d only be able to get him one drink. That’s no fun, so a cool armor trip will be! Hell yeah!”

Kaito grinned at Lake, practically bouncing on his toes, “Thanks for the inspo, Lake! Alright, alright! I’m gonna go. Need to get dressed up to kidnap a new child!”

“Yeah!” Lake threw a fist into the air, bouncing a bit herself. “Knock ‘em dead, Kai-guy!”

-

Dimitri fitfully waited at the bench he had asked Kaito to meet him at, hoping that talking to the man in the park outside would be helpful… since it was well established through a series of rumors both from Luminary and from the Dicean locals that the guy had a tendency to become more closed off and skittish in closed spaces, and had a habit of having important conversations out in the open because it kept him from becoming emotionally unstable and volatile and–

Not. That. He. Really. Knew. That. Was. True.

Dimitri started to sweat, staring at his hands. He had worn a warm, soft turtleneck sweater, dark blue, with a pair of practical but nice jeans, folded up a little at the end as he hadn’t hemmed the pants properly to his size. A part of him had tried to dress as casually as possible, hoping that when the prince grew angry at him, Dimitri might endear himself a little by looking as harmless as possible. He hadn’t meant any harm… he had just gotten a little fixated on Kaito’s life…

A large, gloved hand clasped onto Dimitri’s shoulder, causing the boy to jolt. Looking up, his eyes widened a little, as a wide, confident grin beamed down at him. “There you are!” Prince Kaito beamed down at him, a golden cape blowing behind him slightly, “Took me a second to find you! There are a lot of benches at this park. And a surprising amount of blond teens around! I think I scared the soul out of one young lady with a pixie haircut. Glad I got the right one this time!”

“U-um…” Dimitri shot up, before bowing respectfully–wincing a little at the amused chuckle this got him– before standing up straighter, eyes low and a little shy, “Hello, your grace. Thank you for meeting with me.”

“Please, call me Kaito. No one uses ‘your grace’ around here, so I don’t expect them too.” Kaito grinned, “Hey, can we walk and talk? There’s a museum exhibit I’ve been wanting to go to forever now. The metalworks one? They have two of my armor pieces there, I’ve been wanting to see it all done up in lights! Mind taking the trip with me while we chat?”

“Oh, uh… I mean, our conversation is a bit serious, if you wished to focus, your grace–”

“I know, I know, but I like walking and talking. Do me the favor?”

“...oh?” Dimitri whispered, walking alongside Kaito as he suddenly theorized, “Maybe it’s not a case of claustrophobia then? Maybe it’s less being stuck indoors makes him emotionally unstable, but he needs movement to focus? Stimming? I always thought autistic tendencies might be a possibility–”

“Leeet’s not arm-chair diagnose me just yet, ey kid? Confession time, remember?” Kaito said, giving the teenager an amused look, snorting at he watched him suddenly turn bright red, “What, didn’t realize you were talking aloud?”

“U-uh, um, uh…”

“Did you think I had claustrophobia?” Kaito asked, genuinely curious, “What made you think that?”

“A-ah! Ah, um,” Dimitri squirmed, eyes wide as the panic started to set in. Oh gods, this was it, he had to tell this man that he had fucking… fantasized and fetishized his whole damn life, treating him like some sort of story that Dimitri could uncover and mold to his own liking, like some sort of voyeuristic freak as Dimitri sputtered, “W-well, well, there… u-um, there was a… u-um… th-there was a-a–”

“Oh, shit, you’re gonna start crying.” Kaito realized, hearing how tight Dimitri’s voice had gotten, the teenager wracked with humiliation at the very first thing he had to explain. “Hey, come here, hold on. Let’s go over here.”

Dimitri kept his lips pressed together tight, staring miserably at the ground as Kaito pulled him aside, taking him over to a series of high bushes and crouching down, looking around to see if they had been seen before looking sheepishly at Dimitri, “I don’t like people stopping and staring at me when I’m crying, so I just always assume privacy is best when someone starts crying. Look, I’m gonna make this easier, okay? I know about the roleplaying.”

“W-what?” Dimitri asked, chest tightening in further humiliation, “H-how?”

“Oh, geez, you were really worried about this,” Kaito realized, looking a little more concerned as he ran his fingers over his goatee a bit, frowning, “I thought you were just nervous to meet me for real, not that you were ashamed of it. You can relax, kid, I’m not mad.”

“I… I…” Dimitri’s lower lip shook a little… before he ran his arm over his face, now a little frustrated with himself, “I’m sorry, I’m acting so ridiculous. I didn’t call you out here just to cry at you and have you sympathize at me, I called you out to apologize and I’m making a mess of it.”

“Yeah, you super are.” Kaito mused.

“W’eh!?” Dimitri gasped, “Don’t agree with me!”

Kaito’s eyes lit up at that, smirking a bit. “Well, are we wrong? You wanted to apologize, right? What are you doing? At this rate I’m gonna end up apologizing for upsetting you before you manage to say a damn thing. Come on, you did something wrong, right? Man up and apologize already!” Kaito grinned. “Then you can stop shitting all over yourself for not having done it yet and we can talk about the fun stuff!”

“F…fun stuff?” Dimitri asked, looking bewildered, “What fun stuff?”

“Roleplaying, obviously!” Kaito grinned, before snickering, “And me. And you! Ya know… the fun stuff!”

-

Eventually, Dimitri finally did just tell Kaito what he was sorry about. The obsessive rumor collecting, the hunting for Luminary knowledge just to add to the lore he was creating, the using news of the Momota scandals that were sent over the border for niche interested groups– usually by extremely anti-Luminary groups– to read about and sneer at, fueling Dimitri’s plotlines. But mostly he was truly sorry for…

“I think I’m mostly just sorry because of how it all started.” Dimitri admitted, staring at his feet as the two walked into the museum, speaking quietly, “...there was a… there was this… comic book I bought, when I was young–”

“OH GOD!” Kaito suddenly shouted, eyes wide as saucers as he knew immediately what Dimitri was talking about, “Nooooo, how young? Oh, please tell me someone didn’t fucking let you buy a copy of that thing back when it first came out.”

“...” Dimitri turned bright red, looking down at his feet more determinedly, “...I don’t know when it first came out. But… look, I read it because I was curious and I was going through puberty, but I fell in love with your character! Not the–”

“Oh, geez, fuck you Hifumi,” Kaito grumbled, rubbing his temples, “Wow. Geez… hey, I’m still not mad at you, by the way. Like, it’s normal to get interested in that sort of thing and to explore fiction around it, okay? That’s not something you should be embarrassed about. It’s on the guy who drew it of me and then passed it on to you, because fuck, that’s really not fair to either of us…oh! No wonder you thought I was claustrophobic,” Kaito realized, rolling his eyes, “That stupid fucking plotpoint. Ugh. What an asshole.”

“I’m really sorry…”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Look, I get it, okay? I had childhood heroes too! I had the saints!” Kaito explained, giving Dimitri an earnest look, “They’re the women in Atua’s religious texts. I absolutely did the same thing with them that you did to me, up to and including the underlining horny factor of it. And those are real women! Who lived real lives! I’d be a little embarrassed to meet them too, just because I did treat their lives like it was fun, cool stories for me to use as I wanted. But half the reason I did it, and half the reason you did it, is because they were kinda introduced to us with this sort of otherworldly ‘fake’ feeling. Like they were characters who just happened to exist in the real world. Like… like Real Fiction!”

“That’s dumb.” Dimitri pouted.

“Well, yeah, but I’m saying that you’re not some unique little freak of nature for getting caught up in a fantasy to the point where you forget there’s someone real behind it. And the second I was actually in your life? You wanted to apologize and make it up to me! That’s a good sign of character, kid, that’s a huge point in your favor,” Kaito grinned, reaching over– and up– to pat Dimitri on the head, “...oh god, and by the way, that comic was not anatomically correct, okay? I do not look like that.”

“I know,” Dimitri said automatically… before eyes widening with shame again, “I-I I mean–”

“Pfff, you’re a fun kid,” Kaito laughed, patting his hair again, before grinning at him, “Look, it’s forgiven, okay? Any and all of it. You can tell me about it, and ask me questions, and we can clarify what is and isn’t real, but I’m not gonna be pissed. Even if… some of it was unkind, alight? Cause I’m sure it was. You know, I made a whole elaborate story about one of the saints losing her husband in a fire, because I really wanted her to get together with this other saint that I thought she’d have great chemistry with?” 

“You did?”

“Yeah! And no doubt she loves her husband with all of her heart, and it’d be devastating to hear me gleefully burning him to give her a story plot and make her open to dating in my little pretend game,” Kaito said, shrugging a little sheepishly, “If I ever met her in paradise? I’d apologize. Especially if I met her husband too. And the other saint I set her up with. It’s awkward. But awkward is all it really is.”

“I see… I’m still ashamed though,” Dimitri admitted, the two looking over some cool swords, “I’m actually struggling to turn it off. I’ve been playing your character for so long, that I keep thinking of you as something a little less than real. Which feels exceptionally unkind, with you being so nice to me now.”

“Yeaaaah, playing me probably isn’t gonna work from now on,” Kaito admitted, “I think even if I gave you permission, it’d limit creatively what you can do with the character, because I’d be in the back of your mind saying ‘welllll, actually’ all the time. That’s no fun for a story.”

“True…”

“...you know, princes’ aren’t all that much fun to play anyway,” Kaito shrugged, “I mean, it’s great if you’re playing out some sort of power fantasy, sure! You want to be a ruler, ruling over the masses without fear, a mean little smirk on your face as all the lesser elites try to trip you up and the commoners sing your praises! Hell yeah, that’s fun! …for, like, a little bit, I guess. I liked to daydream about that sort of stuff too, sometimes. But that’s not really what being a royal is like. And I bet you’ve noticed that as you’ve played it out for so long. If you’re a successful noble, you’re at best tolerable, or even endearing. But people don’t relate to you unless there’s something a little bit miserable or pathetic about you. So you end up having to choose. Be hated, be tolerable, or be just a little bit pathetic.” Kaito gave a little shrug, “And that’s it, that’s what you’ve got…but, you know who are really cool? And have a TON of story potential?”

“Who?” Dimitri asked, not surprised by Kaito’s melancholy self-deprecation. It matched the character Dimitri had created in his mind of Kaito. It had sounded like a matter of course to him. 

“Rebel leaders!” Kaito grinned, smirking at Dimitri, “And theres a ton of new lore about them, now isn’t there? You could make up a character that fights the Luminous family! Hell, maybe they even fight against your Kaito character, or take pity on him at the last moment, or something! They can fit into all the worldbuilding you’ve already done, but they’re at the opposite end of the spectrum, fighting the nobles and elites that you’ve spent all this time refining and building up! It’d be a great challenge! You’d know all the ways it’d be a struggle to win, and could think hard about how to win!”

“...huh,” Dimitri mused, the two walking through the armor section, Kaito beaming happily at seeing his wedding and engagement armor again. Dimitri didn’t have the heart to admit he had seen this display several times already, as he looked at the now familiar displays, “...perhaps… perhaps an indentured rebel leader? It could be interesting, to explore a character who’s always had the limitations of not just their social class, but their mind changed as well. Maybe it could be an indentured who worked for the Momota’s–”

“Don’t make my Shuichi or Maki or I’ll thump you across the head, kid~”

‘O-or who worked for his uprising cousin?”

“...ya know what? That sounds fun.” Kaito grinned, giving Dimitri a bright look, “Kaede doesn’t have any female indentured’s who ever worked for her. Make the character a woman, and you’re in the clear. A totally original character.”

“...is playing a woman fun?” Dimitri asked Kaito.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Kaito snickered, thinking of all his saints, “Playing someone entirely unlike yourself is half the joy of roleplaying, kid. Explore a new perspective in life! Enjoy it!” Kaito paused, before shrugging, “And you’ll find once you get into it, that it’s not really that different anyway.”

“Alright,” Dimitri nodded, “I’ll try it.”

-

Josie knew that the perception was mostly his screwed-up brain, every time he wondered how Mercy wasn’t just…sick of him yet. It’d been…hours, maybe? Could only be one, he wasn’t exactly sure. And it had just been…him whining and being pathetic, her leading a prayer for him to faultily follow along to and only now was he actually holding a real conversation, kneeling on the floor in front of her, head in her lap as she traded between running a hand through his hair and working on some mending. 

It wasn’t even hers, he knew. A favor for someone else. 

This was…their usual. 

(That too was mildly warped perception. Depression tended to make it seem like things were always the worst they had been.)

“...so, Dima’s apologizing to Prince Kaito today,” he explained, voice slightly muffled by her skirt. “Sent him some dramatic, ominous note, but…I think the guy’d probably get a kick out of it. Saw for myself, and Arven and Doppio keep mentioning how dramatic he is.”

“...never really seemed like a big deal, before. What were the chances of meeting Kaito Momota, and Dimitri seemed so…happy again, after he started with his roleplay groups. If he found his kicks pretending to be some ostentatious, over the top war-mongerer, then…good for him, right?” Josie snorted, barely any life in the action. “Until Kaito turned out to be Just A Guy. Dimitri’s been having a meltdown about his storylines ever since.”

Josie’s voice softened, staring forward and barely taking notice of the stitching on Mercy’s dress. “...so…it’s good for him to make an apology. Dima’s not the type to just…let stuff like that sit. It’d bother him for the rest of his life to never say anything, even if he stopped roleplaying as Kaito.”

Mercasia smiled lightly, her hands moving deftly, but taking their time. In and out… pull tight, watch the fabric blend together. Every little twist of her wrist restoring and refining, making whole the little pieces, lovely on their own but breathtaking together.

Like herself and Josie, she thought. Lovely little pieces. Stronger together.

“It’s admirable, that Dimitri cares about others the way he does,” Mercasia smiled lightly, taking a break from her stitching to lightly scratch Josie’s scalp, “Like another lovely young man I know. You keep good company, Josie. But tell me… why do you sound so conflicted about it? Or perhaps I’m reading too much into you being a bit tired?”

He really loved his childhood friends. Dimitri’s duty and moral center, Irene’s drive, Hugo’s lust for life so powerful he never suffered another person wasting their own time… Dedan came later, but his unflinching loyalty…

Josie didn’t know why they still stuck around him, other than just…inertia. Something that would probably change, with his, Dimitri, and Dedan’s upcoming graduation. They’d all spread out into their adult lives and there’d be no more reason for them to shackle themselves to such an…embarrassment. 

Laughing hollowly, Josie painted a far more fake-looking grin on his face than his usual standard. “What, crying on your lap for…however long we’ve been here isn’t enough of a reason?”

He sighed, dropping the performance. “...I should be happy for him, right? This is big…” Josie huffed, closing his eyes, voice dulling even further. “...I thought about offering to go with him, for support. But…instead of just…trusting him to be able to make amends on his own, I just…didn’t want to ruin everything. I feel like I’ve just been…” A twitch went through his expression. “Lucky around the royal family so far. It feels like something’s due.”

“It sounds to me like Dimitri is making his own luck, with the royals,” Mercasia laughed lightly, giving her friend a slightly reproachful look as she went back to her sewing. “We’ve talked about this, Josie… you are not responsible for all the misfortunes of the world, even if you have been happy lately. And perhaps the royal family and Dimitri have already had their share of bad luck. It wasn’t that long ago you heard about some new terrible thing happening every other week. And Dimitri… he’s always seemed a bit lonely, to me. Trapped in the one character. Maybe branching out is lucky for him, to be able to explore new things.”

“And even if it’s not, and something terrible happens to any of them… that’s not your fault,” she whispered, “It’s not your burden to bear.”

They had talked about it before. Over and over, over the last five years of their friendship, when Josie had actually told someone the real reason he’d…tried to finish what his brother had failed to do. It hadn’t all been him being cagey, or whatever--yes, he literally had the Mark of Ruin on his back, and people could literally see that, but what it actually meant…he didn’t need some psychologist poking at something that actually wasn’t a delusion. 

But he had never met another person with a blessing, before Mercy. And while hers didn’t seem like it came with much of a significant trade-off…she had seen other consequences of being a favorite of the gods. And yet…Mercy was Mercy. And while Josie knew she didn’t want to be seen as some saint…she had given him a lot of hope, over the years. 

In part, reminding him that all suffering in the world wasn’t a result of his…life, or whatever. 

“...I know,” he whispered, eyes starting to burn again. He closed them, feeling ashamed, even if he knew Mercy would never begrudge his tears. But…even in the mosque, even with Mercy, he still let out an uneven laugh. “I…think I need to reach out to my healer. I’ve been happy, but…also…not,” he said, voice strained. “Might need to check the dosage of my stuff…”

…it’s what he should do. Letting dangerous feelings sit inside himself was a bad idea. His moms would be so disappointed… And, fuck, what was wrong with him, right? Having caring parents that loved him and just…

Josie sucked in a harsh breath, tears spilling over.

“You can do that later, when you’re rested and feel okay,” Mercasia promised, “For now, you’re spending time with me. And I’d be lonely in my sewing without you. So just stay and be in this moment with me for a while. Here and now is good. This is good.”

“Have you ever thought that perhaps your bad luck did manifest for someone recently?” Mercasia asked, giving him a small smile, “I heard the leader of a drug empire got sentenced, yesterday. I imagine that was a bit of bad luck for him. Perhaps the universe doesn’t owe you one after all.”

Josie huffed a soft, wet laugh. “Maybe if I somehow avoided an arrest for some crime I didn’t realize I was committing? Someone actually dangerous getting sentenced sounds suspiciously fair, for what usually happens.”

“...maybe,” he more seriously agreed with a sigh. “It’d be nice. I could do without needing any favors for a while…” A deeper sigh. “...told you I found two gold on the ground coming over? I even asked around, seeing if anyone had dropped it…or wanted to claim they did. But everyone was feeling particularly truthful today, I guess.”

He lightly held onto the edge of her skirt. “...is the mosque still holding that drive for putting together winter preparedness kits? I think I might have a specific amount to donate.”

“We are, and we could always do with more donations. Two gold seems particularly useful for us.” Mercasia smiled. “If you like, you can leave it with me, and I’ll be certain it goes into the dropbox.”

“You know, I like to think that by the end of all of this, Dimitri will be grateful he met the Momota prince,” Mercasia murmured, “Elias used to love his little hero stories so much, when he was young. Upon reflection, sometimes I wonder if a bit of a dose of reality might have helped him a bit. Meeting one of his heroes and seeing they really are just people. Perhaps he’d stop trying to prove he’s as invincible as them, doing these silly little fights of his. A little bit of bad luck can do a soul good, in the long run.”

“Thanks, Mercy,” Josie hummed, feeling a little calmer. Enough not to mind his tears as much. It wasn’t…impossible to ‘share’ his luck with others, in a sense. Ruin tended to seem a little more focused on…well, the namesake, than ensuring Josie a perfect life. Though he had gotten it anyway. Giving away money he didn’t need to a cause he respected wasn’t really bad for anyone, so…it should work out fine. 

Josie sighed. “Perspective is important… Maybe I really should do an intervention for your brother, one of these days.” He weakly smirked at her. “Show him just how pathetic a golden route makes you. Dunno how well he’d listen if I finished it up telling him to come hang out with his sis more, though.”

Mercasia laughed, eyes twinkling lightly in flattered delight. “I do appreciate any life lesson that ends with ‘spend time with Mercy’. I do love the company. Though, no one can compete with you, Josie. You bring a lightness to my days. Even when you sog up and make heavy my clothes,” Mercasia teased lightly, reaching over to pet his head again, “Truly, you are a blessing to me.”

A soft, genuine smile tilted Josie’s lips up. He really couldn’t help it around her…and despite his cynical brain, he just…couldn’t fully attribute it to her blessing. Mercy was Mercy…more than what their blood had decided for them. 

“Thanks, Mercy. You’re a blessing to me too.”

-

“Well, I won’t sugarcoat it for you, Doppio,” Aurange said, putting down a stack of files onto the desk, giving the kid a tired look, “For an initial viewing, we’re a bit limited. So, try to keep an open mind, okay?”

“Oh, don’t scare him, Aurange,” Peach sighed, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. “Doppio, we’re talking the difference between having hundreds of files to look at, versus twenty. And most of that is just because we’re adopting only in this area, and there was such an influx of orphans this last few months. In truth there’s plenty of potential parents out there, if we end up widening our area of search a bit.”

Doppio looked at the soft ‘flump’ of files with trepidation, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. He’d felt…okay so far that day. He’d helped walk Arven and Tim to school as usual, he’d gotten the notice about meeting with CPS, and he had decided to do a little grocery shopping. Though he couldn’t remember eating any, he remembered Peach once baking cookies for a past meeting so…he’d made some quick pretzels with various toppings and dips. Not exactly returning the favor, but…he had felt good, baking earlier. 

…now he felt so awash with nerves he felt kind of nauseous. It wasn’t just hearing there weren’t a lot…though…20 did seem like a lot. But all the stipulations, and ways to combat that…

He took a breath, trying to steady himself. “...I-I don’t want to leave Usott. I have friends here, a-and my therapist, and…I don’t want to go somewhere else.”

“And we’re not asking you to,” Peach said with a small smile, “We’re just explaining other possible options, if you find that these twenty don’t suit your needs. There’s also the possibility of looking through new requests at the end of every month, new people are always reaching out to the adoption center so sometimes it’s just a matter of patience to find your match.”

“Or, there’s always living in the castle as a long-term option,” Aurange said, passing Doppio the first file on the stack and opening it up, “Plenty of people have done it before you, plenty will do it after. No shame in it, and the Ouma family so far has a great success records for successful long-term fostering projects.”

“But, those are all ‘what-ifs’ so you don’t feel pressured to have to meet any of these applicants,” Peach insisted, “Are these pretzels for us by the way? How delightful!”

The first applicant was a nice looking old woman, probably roughly in her seventies, who worked at a cat rescue shelter. She was a long term foster parent and had been doing it for roughly forty years by this point. She wore specs that seemed to mostly function as massive magnifying glasses, liked to keep flowers in her home, and had 34 other children. 

“She’s reliable, but she is getting on in age. I keep telling her she needs to retire, honestly.” Aurange said, chewing on a pretzel.

Doppio nodded and looked at the first file. There wasn’t really pressure, or a time limit for him to find someone to adopt him. Well, technically there was, since he would legally be 20 one day, and that would kind of switch from the adoption agency having him on record and finding people in their system for him, to him just…maybe finding people who’d want to legally tie themselves to him, technically through adoption but… Well. It was a social thing he didn’t know that much about and still had quite a while before it’d be applicable. 

The fact of the matter was, Doppio could take his time. …a-and…and he could be picky. He…he deserved good parents that would care about him. So. This was just…trial one. 

“Um, yeah,” Doppio nodded as he read. “I-I finished them maybe…15 minutes before you came over so…they should be perfectly fresh.”

…the first woman seemed fine. It was a good sign, probably, that so many kids had found a home with her and she was still a reliable applicant for the agency. And Doppio liked cats and flowers…

(...giving the benefit of the doubt, he was sure none of her kids ended up feeling like one in a line, but… While Doppio was still a little undecided about siblings…34 was kind of…a lot.)

(...was it so bad to want to feel special? Wanted, specifically?)

Glancing at the other files, Doppio shifted in his seat. “...um… Can I just…read through them, or…does it have to be one at a time?”

“Go ahead, go ahead,” Aurange said, mouth full of pretzel, “If you need any clarifying questions, just ask.”

Nodding, Doppio tentatively reached for the next file, somehow feeling like he was still doing something wrong, even if Aurange had literally just said it was fine. This was…somehow even more daunting than the looming anxiety that had followed him to this point. 

The next file was a middle-aged couple who ran a furniture repair shop. They hadn’t raised any other children, but were highly engaged in youth outreach programs and had mentored kids from about Tim’s age to older teens in repair and refurbishing. They were big fans of camping and usually went out with their own camping carriage every year for at least a week’s time somewhere new in Dicea.

…seemed nice. 

The next few couples were more of the same. Older people who had either worked with children all their lives, or were regular foster parents, making a life out of taking in older kids and giving them a stable place to live until their twenties. 

A few of them offered the benefit of learning a career that the kid could take with them into adulthood. There were a few farmer types, like the Kiginko family, who could teach how to work land or organize sales of products. There was a family that were horse trainers, and offered the benefit of letting their foster children pick out and raise their very own foals. 

The one that broke the mold of older person looking to help kids/pass along skills was a young man around Temp’s age, who was a blacksmith but specifically mentioned to not come to him expecting him to let them anywhere near his swords or his furnace. He had a strict look on his face, and when Peach saw who Doppio was looking at, she laughed lightly, “I think he’s going to end up being one of our regular foster parents, though he’s only just started. Told us he woke up one day, noticed a bunch of foster kids herding around his girlfriends candy store, and realized, in his words, ‘damn there’s a lot of street urchins these days, huh? Guess I better do something about that’. And signed up.”

“Which is ridiculous. We work hard specifically so there’s zero street urchins. Where did he even learn that phrase?” Aurange muttered.

Everyone seemed fine enough. Doppio supposed that was something of a given, considering Peach and Aurange had worked specifically with the UAA to vet appropriate people first. They all seemed like fine people who cared about kids and had things to offer. 

Doppio had already forgotten the first several files he looked over, unable to recall any details from their files, or to differentiate them from any of the others. 

“Probably from books,” Doppio mumbled, before he blinked, eyes narrowing a little. …a smithy by a candy store? Wasn’t that… “...oh, this is the guy by that big bookstore, and Kimura Pharmacy, isn’t he… Huh.”

That was a little interesting, at least, and…maybe someone new to this whole thing would be… Doppio didn’t know. A little more focused on their first kid? And that area of the shopping district was fairly close to Arven’s, still…

Looking to another file, Doppio read it over. Another couple, in their late 30s and early 40s, one was…a tattoo artist, which was a little novel for the whole set, while the other was…a homemaker. It wasn’t just them, though, they lived in a detached townhouse with five roommates (and specifically noted that, to confirm that chances were there would always be someone at home). The homemaker, Lazaro, had apparently raised his kid brother, but now that the kid had been grown for some time, and he and the tattoo artist, Dante, had been married for a while, they wanted a kid. 

A kid that… They’d specifically filed to be considered for special needs kids…which Doppio assumed the…weird mark on one of the form segments meant. 

The address was…kind of far, on one of the opposite residential districts from Arven’s, but not that far. Hells, Doppio had even walked pretty close to it recently, since it wasn’t that far from Dr. Mariah’s…

…there wasn’t anything that special they had marked down as being able to provide, like a lot of the others. No trades or skills to pass on. But…

(They wanted a kid. Not just someone to care and house, but…they wanted that stuff, as a kid. Their kid.)

(...Doppio didn’t just want to stay with people, he wanted parents.)

There was one more file that Doppio looked through, before he glanced up at Peach and Aurange. “...so…do I just set up meetings with…people? Or?”

“Just separate the files of the people you’d be interested in meeting, and we’ll set up the appointments.” Aurange explained.

“Anyone you choose would be excited to meet you, Doppio,” Peach assured, “And is there any environment you’d feel most comfortable meeting your perspective parents? Here at the castle, or at a preferred restaurant, that sort of thing?”

“Uh…” Doppio blanked. He…hadn’t really thought about that. He’d felt so removed from even the idea of eventually meeting prospective foster parents that it hadn’t really felt like something he’d have any sort of decision about…despite the fact that he’d been reminded several times that his choices and preferences were the driving factors for…all of this. 

“Here’s fine,” he decided in a moment, nodding, before sorting out the files. Of the tiny stack of people to meet, Lazaro and Dante on top.

Aurange and Peach knew how these things worked. They peeked at the top file, glanced at each other, before taking all the files back. 

“We’ll get it done, Doppio. You’ll hear from us very soon, okay? You did very well!” Peach smiled warmly.

“This next bits the fun part. They’re all gonna be trying to impress you,” Aurange smirked, reaching over to tap Doppio’s hand with the files, “So try not to give them too hard a time, yeah?”

Doppio flushed a bit, reeling a little at the thought that anyone would be trying to impress him. Even after talking with Arven…Doppio still felt like he’d talk to someone for five minutes before they’d try to leave without causing a scene. 

…but he deserved parents. And there was someone out there for him. So…

“...um…” Doppio said quietly, fussing with his hands in his lap (having quickly moved them there after the tap) before clearing his throat and trying to speak up louder. “...thank you for your help.”

“It’s our pleasure, Doppio,” Peach assured, heading to the door, glancing at the line of light beneath it, before sighing, “We’re leaving now!”

The light shifted just in time for her to open the door, and Peach and Aurange saw the familiar sight of Prince Kaito Momota, just ‘happening’ to be walking by the door in that exact moment, whistling loudly. The whistle insisting, see? If I had been here the whole time, you’d have heard the whistling! No whistling? No Kaito! Makes perfect sense!

“You’re a strange, strange man.” Aurange told Kaito plainly, who had the audacity to give him a confused smile in response. “Anyway, we’re done.”

“Oh! Okay! Lovely to see you two!” Kaito said brightly, giving them a wave as they headed off… before he peeked into the room with Doppio, “Eeeeverything okay in here?”

Doppio leaned back in his chair with a sigh, giving Kaito a dry look. “...you want some pretzels?”

Kaito lit up, nodding as he came in, “Yes!”

Sitting down with Doppio, Kaito grabbed a pretzel, humming in delight at it. He glanced back at the study door, before glancing around the room, chewing on the pretzel a bit… before huffing. Standing up and going to open up the curtains wide and open the window doors, letting in some fresh air and noise as he muttered, “No idea how you all stand this,” before going back to sit with Doppio again. “...so? Was it a good meeting?”

Doppio took one of the pretzels--just a salted one--for himself, starting to chew through it. Mm… He did manage a good crust on these. Though he gave Kaito something of an incredulous look. “Aren’t you the one complaining about the cold all day every day lately? And you want to open a window?”

Shaking his head, Doppio tugged down his sleeves more and sighed. “...yeah, it was fine. They gave me files of people the agency said were good to look through, so…things are starting to get going. A lot of what I’m waiting for has been for this, so…that’s good.”

After a moment, Doppio’s nose briefly scrunched before he gave Kaito a look that was part way between disparaging and genuinely curious. “...you butt in with the adoption agency a lot, do you know what, um…” In the air, Doppio drew a symbol that looked like a vertical rectangle with flared sides and a cross in the middle. “...that kind of sign means? It wasn’t labeled in the section it was in.”

“It is cold! But studies are so damn gloomy.” Kaito pouted, wrapping his arms around himself to stop the little shiver from the much needed fresh air, “It’s like they’re designed to be as stifling as possible. Don’t get why anyone likes them.”

Kaito looked at the symbol in question, before snorting a little dryly, “Oh, man, that. Let me tell you, I had to beg my husband to take a peek into their heads to tell me what that was. They fed me some line about it being a general indication of special needs, but I already knew all the special need symbols. Like the little open circle next to your name? That’s an indication that there’s more in your medical file that people need to be aware of. And the little double asterick’s? Indicates there’s additional requirements your potential foster parents need to pass in order to qualify at a chance for you. Nothing as elaborate as that damn symbol. Tsk, wanna lie to my damn face about it…”

Shaking his head, Kaito said, “But, after much begging and pleading to my husband, before threatening to ask my other husband, ‘Kichi finally took a peek and found out it means ‘Magic Affiliation’, and why that symbol is so involved is the symbols are meant to be a summary of what kind of magic knowledge your parents need to have to qualify for you. Someone doing your inspections recognized John Doe’s got some serious psychic stuff going on, and as his kid, they probably guessed you’d need someone with general knowledge about that. So that symbol means ‘psychic magic affiliate’ specifically. So your parents will all know a little bit about psychics.”

“That could also explain why you only had twenty people qualify,” Kaito mused, “They probably didn’t want to outright mention that your magic stuff limited who qualified to take care of you, in case it spooked you to know they know. Magic folk in Dicea get really nervous to admit to each other what they do and don’t know. Some bad blood in history that no one’s quite moved on from yet. I don’t know if it was just this incident alone, but it was not a good time for the werewolves, for a long time there.”

Doppio glanced around the cozy room. Sure, it was a little bare, but he supposed that was on purpose, since the room suited so many different needs. But the furniture was exceedingly comfortable, a mix of big sitting chairs and smaller moveable chairs, even a couch, a work table, which was what Doppio was sitting at, but also a coffee table with plenty of little side tables around. There was shelving on the walls, some general books lined up, but mostly empty, and some landscape paintings on the walls…

What part of this was stifling?

But Doppio wasn’t that invested in Kaito’s idiosyncrasies at this point, and learning about the odd symbol he’d seen was much more interesting. His eyebrows raised, caught a little off-guard by ‘magic affiliation’...but if someone recognized it in his dad? O-or…maybe even if Nell put it in his medical files, and while looking through the overview someone carried it over… Though if it was Nell…she knew he wasn’t psychic, not really. But…

“Oh…but it was a symbol for them, so…” Doppio mumbled. Because the symbol was on their file, it meant that…Lazaro and Dante knew about psychic stuff, not necessarily that they knew Doppio’s deal. And he had only seen that symbol on their file… 

He gave Kaito a curious look at his mention of werewolves, before he blinked and sat up. “Wait, h-hey! How do you know only 20 people applied for me?”

”Hmm?” Kaito asked, his smile suddenly blank and absentminded, “What now? Anyway, it’s good that you have some options you’re interested in! Wanna take Firenze to the meetings?”

Doppio set his jaw and glowered at Kaito. “Don’t lie to me. You’re not my parent, you’re not my guardian, and you’re a really awful friend sometimes. I don’t appreciate my life being spied on.”

“Okay, fine, I was listening at the door,” Kaito sighed, leaning back in his chair, “I heard Aurange say it.”

Doppio gave Kaito the stinkeye for another moment…before sighing and pulling another piece off his pretzel to eat. “...I’m still not happy about it, but okay.” He rubbed the side of his nose before sighing again. “No, I don’t want to ask Firenze to sit in, but…thanks for suggesting, I guess.”

Chewing through the pretzel, Doppio thought for a moment before giving Kaito a complicated look. “...what advice I could use, though… How…should I go about telling anyone…what I am? If I should?”

Kaito relaxed a little– maybe it was better not to try to justify his shitty habits all the time– before his eyes widened at Doppio’s question. Leaning his head back and whistling a bit, “Damn, that’s a heavy one, man. Can I have a second to think about it?”

Taking another pretzel and chewing on it, Kaito hummed a bit, “...so, here’s the thing about me. A part of me really, sincerely believes most people already know our secrets. So, for me, it’s not revealing a secret, but negotiating with both people finally getting to safely talk about it. If you want advice on how to actually reveal a secret? Kokichi’s your guy…kind of,” Kaito said, brow furrowing a bit, “... ‘Kichi’s method of revealing secrets haven’t always been the best. My ‘Kichi likes to stab people with secrets. Like, wah!” Kaito jabbed two fingers into the air, “Bam! Secreted to death! Get secreted, sucker! Didn’t see that coming? BAM! Guts lined to the floor, secret stabby style!”

“...do not do that to your foster parents. Don’t wait until your secret feels like a double edged knife waiting to kill one of you.” Kaito mused, leaning against the back of the couch again, “Go in negotiation style. Let them know you have something you really need to talk to them about, sit them down, be patient. Assume they’ll have questions and…”

“...I don’t know man. I guess my best piece of advice is be forgiving if they don’t understand right away,” Kaito shrugged, “A lot of tough conversations end up being about forgiving the way the other person fucks up. But if you’re telling them because you trust them? Trust your instincts, believe in them. They’ll come through.”

“...and if they don’t, you can ask me to punch them in their faces, and I super will. Promise, swear it.” Kaito grinned, “I’ll beg ‘Kichi to take the knowledge out of their head too. He might not, and then I’ll ask other people. I’d never leave you to deal with someone shitty who knows your secret, not if you asked me for help. It’s never an end of the world thing, okay?”

It was a heavy question--it was why Doppio had asked for help. He did think Arven was right, that if he wanted it, his future parents really never needed to know. Even if they did already know about magic stuff. Sure, maybe it’d get him into the kind of situation where he needed to explain why he wasn’t actually a psychic when someone in the paperwork chain had thought he was, but…

…but more than just that sticky situation… Doppio wanted to be able to tell someone. His abilities, his…state of being a Tulpa… They were things that bothered him. That made problems and difficulties in his life that made it hard to navigate and figure things out, and…sure, he had Dr. Mariah, and he could ask the royal family for help, but… For people that were supposed to care for him, he wanted to be able to tell them too. To explain exactly why he got so anxious around medical stuff, for them all to have the same starting point when they came across something new about how weird his brain was. 

But starting that conversation in the first place was…

Doppio frowned a little. …Kokichi telling him about Tulpa stuff had been…a little startling. So not like that… Just go into a serious conversation in good faith, huh?

Laughing softly, he nodded. “Thanks, Kaito. I dunno… You all warned me not to tell people, but…I’m kinda taking that now as just…being selective with the people I tell? Maybe I’d feel different, if I ended up being adopted by people who didn’t know magic bullshit at all, but…if they do? Then…” He took a breath, scrunching his eyes as he got through saying, “Then I want better support than a tacit, vague acknowledgement that we both know things, without ever discussing it.”

“...I figure I’d at least have to come up with some sort of explanation why I have a tongue piercing.”

“You got a tongue piercing because you wanted to be more like your super cool, weird adult friend who’s waaaaaay too invested in your life.” Kaito told him sagely, “Who then went and bought you that tongue ring. God I sound like a creep. Who’s dumb idea was it to make you fourteen? I just want drinking friends, dammit! I almost had a perfect set of three pink-haired cuties to go to bars with, I was living the high life for one glorious night!”

Kaito whined into his hands… before snickering, shooting Doppio an amused look, “I don’t care how long you end up living. I’m gonna be one of the weirdest friends you’ve ever had. I’m calling that now.”

“But, yeah,” Kaito shrugged, “You wouldn’t want to tell them if a part of you didn’t trust them, ya know? If you find yourself wanting to confide in someone? Chances are that it’s okay to do so then… for most people. Normal people. I confide in creeps as like a rule? Creeps and assholes are soooo much fun to confide in, they’re just… so casual about shit. It’s nice to tell people something hard and have them treat it like it’s no big deal, sometimes. I kind of hope that for you, when you tell your future parents? That it’s just kinda… not a big deal. You’re still Doppio. You know what I mean?”

Doppio rolled his eyes a little. As if. Even if his parents didn’t know a thing about magic, telling them he had an illusion stone because he lit up like winter windows would be more believable than saying he wanted to be like Kaito. 

“I think the odds are looking so much like that, that it’s not even a bet,” Doppio said dryly, before giving Kaito a soft smirk. “In so many ways, I still could be a drinking friend. You’ve just made it weird for yourself.”

As Kaito refocused, Doppio’s smile faded as he nodded seriously. “I think I freak out about my existence enough for everyone. If I end up telling the people that adopt me…then, they’d be the kind of people I’d be okay telling.”

“...I do feel a little bad about maybe misleading them, though,” Doppio winced, rubbing his hand. “If there are any of those psychic symbols on my papers? Because, uhh…that’s really not my deal.”

“It’s not not your deal,” Kaito pointed out, literally reaching out and poking Doppio’s shoulder, “Your dad is super-duper a psychic. Like, them knowing about psychics would theoretically give them space to understand you if you say something, like, ‘I could never get away with anything, it’s like the guy could read my mind’.”

“...” Kaito suddenly glanced curiously at Doppio, something contemplative brimming below the surface, “...does that ever bother you? Knowing he could literally reach into your head and move things around? He can’t now, the Farmer fog thing Kokichi gave you is doing way more than just making you look like some sort of neat smoking dragon occasionally. But…it can be a lot, knowing it used to happen. I think.”

Doppio frowned slightly. That was…right. But…

He sighed, leaning back in his chair enough to bring a leg up, lightly holding around his shin. “...it bothers me he used to take over my body. I always felt like such a failure when I blacked out in the middle of a job, and that was only helped by the fact that my dad never really mentioned much about it, and all signs pointed to me still having done what I needed to do in that time.”

He frowned more. “It bothers me more now that that was just…him. And I have no idea what he did do in that time. I know it isn’t my fault, but I still feel bad that…that I was an option for him to be able to hurt people.”

“...I dunno if…any mind-reading actually bothers me, though,” Doppio hummed, tipping his head back against the chair a little. “Of the stuff I was actually ashamed of, he never mentioned, and…I’m not sure he actually knew. And otherwise…”

For a moment, Doppio went quiet, his gaze far away. 

“...he used to tell me that lying by omission was still lying, when I was trying to avoid saying something,” he quietly said. “But mostly…all those things were just details of me messing up on the job, or something going wrong. It…never felt like those things were ever…’things to get away with’, I’d always have to tell him eventually. I just…never did anything I thought he’d seriously disapprove of. So it never occurred to me to ever have to seriously hide anything.”

…other than his parental longing, but…that wasn’t exactly an action. And until the last time they spoke, Doppio didn’t think his father would’ve ever acknowledged it.

Kaito nodded slightly. Scratching lightly at the hard ridges of his joints… before he shrugged, “Yeah, I can totally see why possession would be the thing that lingers, for you. I’m sure having my body puppetted without my permission would freak me the hell out. I did that with Maki and Shuichi a lot.” Kaito paused, tilting his head, “...I still don’t feel as bad about that as I probably should. The three of us kind of made a game out of it. Maki would get Shuichi to stop ‘Um, actually-ing’ her by getting him to recite stuff, I’d stop Maki from throwing kegs off of roofs, they’d…”

Kaito paused, before frowning, “...oh, well, now I feel bad. They couldn’t really exploit my conditioning. It’s less fun if we can’t all fuck with each other, but it was just hard for me to notice how messed up that was, back then. It was just too normal to me.”

“So I guess I struggle with thinking of possession first, when I wonder how tough it was for ya,” Kaito mused, “... I think it’d be fun to let ‘Kichi puppet me a little.”

To Doppio, it was a perfectly reasonable thing to be freaked out by, so he nodded with Kaito’s agreement…before giving him an incredulous look as he explained how he and his family had done it for fun. After a moment, it did sound different from Doppio’s experience, but…that was still pretty…shocking. 

Huffing a little, Doppio gave Kaito a flat look. “Hope you think migraines and total disorientation are fun, then.” He doubted the heir apparent would have Kaito kill anyone while under possession either.

Kaito smirked, poking Doppio again… before he said, “I used to be nervous Kokichi might change me as a person.”

“It wasn’t a serious fear,” Kaito mused, “It was more of a reactionary fear. I found out Kokichi was an empath right around the same time I was feeling better. Less, you know… hitting walls, screaming, sort of feelings.” Kaito explained, “And there was a lot of reasons I was feeling better. Therapy, drugs, things calming down in general. But one of my theories was, oh, maybe my brain-altering husband wanted a version of me that wasn’t all… out of control and angry. And I remember just trying to rationalize it. Like, yeah, that’s okay, I didn’t like being that person anyway, I forgive him, all that.”

“But it did kind of bother me.” Kaito admitted, “That’s why I wondered if it bothered you.”

The most intense form of…therapeutic surgery? There was, Doppio supposed. Literally, physically changing the brain to conform to personality… Something that probably would genuinely help some people out, but…while changing who they were, inevitably, he guessed. 

Resting his cheek against his knee, Doppio looked off to the side. “...I don’t think my dad can do that kind of stuff. He could make me do things, sure, but…altering who I actually am? …the whole problem of all of this happened because I wasn’t what he wanted me to be. If he could change that, he would’ve.” 

“Ooooh, that makes sense,” Kaito realized, nodding, a small smile on his face. Something in him relaxing as he said, “That’s kind of exciting, isn’t it? You’re so… independent! Like, even your physical form changes with your mindset, and if the guy who literally created you couldn’t form you into who he wanted? You can literally be whoever you want to be! That’s…”

Kaito laughed, feeling sheepish as he shrugged, “That’s really exciting. I’m a little jealous. I’m curious who you’ll end up deciding to be, in the long run.”

Doppio smiled softly, though he kept looking away, hugging his leg tighter. “Thanks, Kaito. …all I ever wanted was to be exactly what he wanted, but…I don’t think it was ever a real option. And now…I have stuff about myself that I care about more than being that anyway. I still don’t know what I want to decide but…we’ll see, I guess.”

Glancing over at Kaito, he regarded the prince curiously. “...I really don’t think you’re limited in who you can be just because you were born, either, Kaito. If I’m really not all that different from humans…then that means you can be who you want to be too, right?”

“Aw, I love that for you.” Kaito grinned, entirely sincere. “People are always at their best when they’re passionate about something. And it’s awesome to see you be passionate about yourself, and the things you prioritize.”

“And, yeaaaaah, you’re basically right.” Kaito grinned, rubbing his nose a little before admitting, “I’m kind of a weird case, but you’re still not wrong. I can be whoever I want to be now! And I want to be a good husband and a good father and a good friend. Like, genuinely, that’s what I want.” Kaito nodded, before smiling a little tiredly, “But Kokichi’s not the first empath in my life, and being sent to Dicea to get married isn’t the first big choice that was taken out of my hand. I actually used to have this guy who kind of lived in my head a bit? Suuuuch an asshole, you have no idea.”

Rolling his eyes, Kaito explained, “And that was until pretty recently. And there’s a possibility that, like, I’m just the guy he wanted me to be? I don’t know, maybe he just liked big doofus himbos,” Kaito smirked, “...or maybe he didn’t change anything and he was just a dick that liked to imply he was more powerful than he was. Which is a real possibility. Sorry, I brought all this up in the first place cause I thought you might be able to get what I’m talking about a bit. Not very often you talk to someone sort of custom designed, and I feel weird trying to talk to Shuichi and Maki about it. I don’t think I can really try to relate to what they went through, not really. And I think it’d make Kokichi uncomfortable to hear me talk about it too much… blegh, sorry. Swing and a miss.” Kaito shrugged, before smiling Doppio, “Thanks for hearing me out though. You’re a good friend, Doppio, even when you’re having a tough time.”

From who Doppio had discovered Kaito to be? That exactly fit. Kaito was the kind of person who wanted to be good to the people around him…to the point of getting his own ideas not just of ‘good’, but of ‘should’ and ‘best’ and kind of went totally overboard…but that original intent was still there. 

…and some asshole that lived in someone else’s head to torment them and take their own life away? “...it sounds to me you are who you are. Experiences change you, and maybe that isn’t your own decision, but…that happens to everyone. We’re ourselves, but we’re not detached from the world, just another part of it so…we change with and because of it too.” Both multitudes and grains of sand. 

Doppio shrugged a little, offering Kaito a small smile. “If you ever do want to talk about it more…I-I mean, you are right. Not a ton of people around like us…even if every one of us I’ve meant has a different deal going on too.”

Straightening up, Doppio sighed. “...wanna help me pass out the rest of these pretzels? I…think I did end up making too many…”

Kaito smiled lightly, stealing another pretzel. Yeah, Doppio was gonna be fine, talking to people about secrets. He really was a good guy. 

“I kinda wanted to eat all of them, but sure, we can go pass them out instead.” Kaito agreed, standing up with an enthusiastic bounce, “Hey, things are going to be okay, Doppio! Seriously, I can feel it in my gut! This is the start of an upswing for ya!”

Getting up with a small stretch, Doppio looked at the plate of pretzels with a raised eyebrow. “I…think you might get a stomachache, eating all of these. Or would at least have a very light dinner…”

Grabbing the plate, Doppio sighed, shaking his head a little. “Arven went with Kiba to this place, the other day? Apparently they have some sort of food challenge, a giant meat bowl and sides that you get free if you finish… Arven said Kiba got actually pretty close to finishing, but he was literally laid out on the ground after they left. I saw all the leftovers Arven brought home, and that was enough for like two meals in itself so I can’t even imagine how much food it actually was altogether.”

“Oooooh, that sounds fun~” Kaito laughed, going to open the door for him, happy to be leaving the study, “I wonder if my husbands would have fun watching me gorge myself. Souda and Waku might, but I think they’d make fun of me the whole time. Which, hell yeah could set my competitive spirit aflame!!”

“...though, awwwww, Arven’s made a new friend? Spill! I wanna hear all about this Kiba guy, I haven’t heard anything yet!”

Kaito would think that sounded fun, wouldn’t he, Doppio thought with a roll of his eyes. 

Heading out of the study to find pretzel-lovers, he started, “Well, he has two super adorable dogs…”

-

Life had been pretty peaceful for a while. Everyone moving forward on their own journeys, the country preparing for winter but not letting the last month of fall pass them by. Doppio met with several people from his foster files who had set up meetings, not really having a bad time, but not particularly clicking with anyone either. However, he did find that the idea of him clicking with Shino was spot on, and the two of them had ended up gushing about beetles for literal hours. 

Kokichi resumed his usual work rhythm with Nadya, glad to get back into normalcy, and he was even happier with the spans of life that were integral to that rhythm. He had been over the moon to discover that Miyako took interest in non-spiced applesauce, and had been very amused to see her ambivalence to mashed peas. Once again, Kaito had lost a family member to a dislike of vegetables. 

He, Temp, and Alter Ego regularly checked in on Cathan, and everything seemed to be going alright. With no big surprises, they were discussing other people to ask about the defense experiment, two relatively new people seeming to be doable management. 

Life was moving on, and peaceful…until the first day of Late-Fall decided to make its entrance with an absolute gale of a thunderstorm. The kind of storm that the paper and bulletin notices cautioned people staying home for, and gathering some necessities to avoid having to leave in an emergency. The kind of storm that, once the pitter pats of rain and light breeze had turned into buckets of water and gusts so violent they rattled windows and anything not secured, thunder boomed across the land, bassy vibrations felt even in your chest. 

Some loved it, some hated it, but everyone agreed that it was weather you didn’t want to be out in. 

-

…he hadn’t just…stopped taking his antidepressants. That would be too obviously alarming. No, instead the insidious fog in his brain just…oops. Forgot to ask mom about setting up a check-in with his regular healer. Haha, yeah, nothing was really going on, so nothing to report in therapy! Mid-terms were coming up, so it just made sense that people were busier, so no one was surprised how Josie had just…started to fade into the background.

Just…little, innocuous things that if Josie noticed himself, didn’t seem like a big deal. Didn’t seem like anything to speak up about. 

Maybe, if he wasn’t currently feeling like he was dying, he’d retract that thought. 

Out on the hill just outside of Ramnas Park, by the big tree overlooking the castle, Josie stood amid the wind and rain, just in a thin shirt and pants, already shivering from the cold that only didn’t make the rain sleet by the fact that the rain was moving too quickly to have time to freeze. His body pale and shivering, breaths coming in calm gasps around the water that threatened to drown him standing, eyes empty and glassy. 

Just…daring. Hoping. For lightning to strike the tree he was by. 

Oh god, what the FUCK WAS WITH THIS WEATHER?

Kaito whimpered as he held the bag between his arms and against his stomach. The damn DIAPERS! AUUUUUGH! Kaito was gonna lose all of his shits if the diapers got wet. How could he have forgotten to stock up on extra diapers!? Now there was some crazy storm and people were saying ‘stockpile this’ and ‘emergency that’ and Kaito was looking at their stockpile of diapers and, like??? They needed more, right??? He felt like they needed more! His baby was not going to end up rashy and stinky and unhappy because Kaito wasn’t willing to go out and get her more diapers! 

And, no, he did not sneak out to get more diapers in a storm! Sneaking implied he had hid he left from his husbands! He just… hadn’t mentioned it! Because they did not see the big diaper dilemma he so clearly saw! Sure, they had enough for the normal amount! But now people were talking about emergencies, and Kaito needed an emergency amount of diapers.

Admittedly, the store clerk talked Kaito down from literally buying out their whole supply, and only getting an extra two weeks worth of diaper. Something about accidentally creating an emergency situation for everyone else by taking too many supplies? Kaito didn’t want other babies to get rash’s or be stinky either! All the babies needed fresh diapers! So he wasn’t taking home as many diapers as he had set out to get, but dammit, he still wanted to get these ones home dry!

Kaito was going to be sooooo damn annoyed if he snuck out into a thunderstorm, got less diapers than he intended to get, and STILL didn’t manage to bring back an emergency set of diapers, all alongside the scolding Shuichi and Maki at least were definitely going to give him–

One of ours is out here.

Kaito blinked, the feeling coming from nowhere as he suddenly stopped, glancing around beneath his hood. He wasn’t even entirely sure where he was, just somewhere along the path back to the castle. He was at the park he and ‘Kichi had gotten married at. At the bottom of the hill with the nice view. The one he, Kokichi and Miyako had climbed.

… Kaito headed up the hill. Following a whim. Following his gut. 

…….auuuugh, he couldn’t see anything, he could barely look up past his hood as he climbed. It was so WET! How was there this much water in the world!? And it was COLD and WET and, “Gah!” Kaito slipped on the mud a bit, grasping the hillside and trying to keep the mud off his diapers, before shouting in frustration, “HEY! IF SOMEONE’S UP HERE, COULD YOU LET ME KNOW NOW? DON’T MAKE ME CLIMB ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING!”

Sometimes, Josie wasn’t sure that he hadn’t died in the well. That what they pulled out wasn’t just…some dream. Or a husk. And it was the real him that was still down there, rotting away. 

…it still felt like he was down there. So freezing cold he could barely feel anything anymore, the water just high enough that he’d had to tread water to avoid drowning. The stones had been slick and smooth, any grip he could’ve gotten quickly lost by how badly he’d cut his hands and nails up trying to climb out. Trying to avoid death, pleading uselessly up… Mick, don’t leave him here! 

Josie had never asked to be born. He had never wanted this either! So just, please, Big Brother, please, “...help…”

A sob was dampened on the wind, Josie falling onto his knees into the mud, murmuring nonsense. Or…wishes of a time long gone.

“Get me out, please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just don’t go, don’t leave me here!”

Kaito’s eyes dilated.

Oh, good. This was the easy part. 

Once he knew there was someone up there, it was suddenly easy to focus. He just climbed and moved quickly. The diapers were already covered by the bag, and mindlessly with one had he tied them to his belt. He’d just have to hope they didn’t get damaged in the rain. He’d do his best. Some things are more important. 

He spotted the guy after he pulled his hood back. He could see now a little better, and it was okay that he was wet. He was gonna get wetter, as he scurried over to him, only slipping on the mud a few times before catching himself, unclipping the clasp holding his hood together and pulling the cloak off, as he grinned warmly at the sobbing figure, throwing his cloak over him, “Heeeey, now, you’re okay… you injured?” Kaito said, having to keep his voice high and loud to be heard over the heavy roar of the rain, as he peered down at the muddy man beneath his cloak, “Did you fall… wait, I know you…”

“...Joshua?” Kaito guessed. It had definitely started with a ‘J’. Probably. “Arven’s little friend? You alright, kid?”

Josie barely noticed anything happening, too caught up in a memory, but something heavy over his shoulders and the slight touch startled him, reality slotting back into focus as he heavily flinched. Fear washing over his face. 

“...oh, fuck what are you - Get away from me! You’ll only be--”

It wasn’t precognition or anything. Those weren’t abilities Josie had gotten from the gods. But he had lived with Ruin his whole life, and for how creative it could get at times, for the most part? It was very predictable.

A wild, unfocused look in his eyes, Josie abruptly pulled Kaito down, throwing himself over the prince…only for a circular sigil to briefly glow for a moment, completely overshadowed the next by a flash of lightning seeming to bend. Diverting away from Josie and Kaito…and cracking right through a tree lower down on the park, flames erupting for a moment even in the rain. 

“Fuck…fuck…” Josie panted, sliding off from Kaito as he collapsed in the mud again. 

Kaito blinked, surprised as he was suddenly bent in half, hunched forward when the Joshua kid grabbed him and threw himself on top of him. Huh. Warm. 

Then a sound like the earth was cracking enveloped them, and even beneath Joshua’s body and beneath the cloak, and Kaito was pretty sure even when he was blinking in surprise, it was like the world lit up a bright, all invading white… and when he was finally allowed to sit up, Joshua collapsing beside him, Kaito watched a tree below lit up in pretty orange flames, soft and warm and inviting for a moment, before the rain crushed the fire. 

“...cool,” Kaito murmured, staring at the warm red embers in the wood get beaten into submission by the rain, before looking curiously down at the panting kid, “...you’re kinda funky, huh?”

Then Kaito reached over, adjusting the cloak around Joshua to cover him more… wait, was it Joshua? Was the kid an ‘s’ name? Kaito remembered a sharp ‘s’ sound… before he looked down, pouting, “oh, damn…I hope the mud didn’t get into the diapers. Ah well… hey! Are you injured?”

Maybe if mud did get in the diapers nothing else would happen… 

…w-wait…what?

Blinking like he couldn’t really focus on Kaito--or maybe just trying to blink against the deluge around them--Josie was quiet for a moment before cursing. “...shit, Prince Kaito? What… What are you doing out here, it’s dangerous… You shouldn’t…”

“...oh, fuck,” Josie collapsed in on himself, teeth gritting, “What am I doing out here? My moms are gonna kill me…”

“Oooooh, I see. We are having an episode. Okay, cool, no problem.” Kaito said, looking around, before squinting at the kid. He was a little bigger than Kaito himself, literally just picking him up would be challenging. Especially in the mud? Yeah, no, he’d get them both injured. “I’m gonna kidnap you now!” Kaito called through the rain, offering the kid– Josie! That’s what it was!-- his arm as he called, “You know that diner at the end of the park? It’s open, I saw it passing by! We’re gonna go there and get something warm in you and dry you off, then we’re gonna figure out the mom situation! Kay?”

Kaito paused, before adding in, “And, again, this is a kidnapping situation! So just say yes and come with me, you’re gonna break your damn neck getting down this hill! Shit, I might break my neck getting down this damn hill.” Kaito muttered, looking warily down the hill. Maybe the tree was safer… oh, wait, yeah, he had just watched that other tree go up in flames. Yeah, no.

It was all Josie deserved to just lie down in the mud…but not what his moms deserved, getting a corpse delivered to their doorstep when the storm ended. And not what Kaito deserved, whatever would happen staying around Josie, and it didn’t seem like he was leaving. 

…heh, didn’t Arven say something about that? How the prince never let go once he got a sniff of trauma? He supposed his cute kouhai was right on the money. 

Sighing, Josie picked himself up from the ground and took Kaito’s arm, giving the prince a strained look. “Please…don’t. Break your neck. With my luck, I’ll dive under you to stop it and you’ll just bounce off me and break it anyway.”

“Oh, easy fix! Don’t throw yourself under me and it all works out,” Kaito grinned, glancing down at the hill again, “...um, but feel free to steady me if I seem to lose my footing. I’ll do the same for you. Come on, slow and steady! Can’t stay on this hill through the whole storm, right? Right?”

Kaito paused, considering that, before nodding, “Right! Let’s go!”

It was a slow and dangerous walk down the muddy hill, and Kaito was proud he only slipped and fell messily onto his ass once, though Josie was quick to get him back up. And wincing and limping only a little– he was sooo brave when it came to ass pain, truly he was unstoppable– he kidnapped Josie all the way to the diner, before very sheepishly asking the people who worked there for both a seat and several towels.

Flopping into a booth, Kaito shivered, hair dripping in front of his face before he pushed it back with his fingers, shivering again, “G-g-god, it’s cold, d-damn. I-I get the impression y-you don’t know why you were there, b-but what the heck, k-kid? I th-thought I was dumb going out in a d-damn raincoat.”

…it was his fault. What, some jerk living a cushy life could just live peacefully? Ha. One way or another, the universe took its dues…and Ruin refused to let Josie take his. So it was up to him to somehow make up the difference. 

Some of that hollow emptiness had returned to Josie as they walked, but in the diner, heat on blast and covered in towels, he was shivering enough that it was difficult to keep fully in his head. 

“...sorry,” he murmured, trying to just breathe through the painful prickles of the cold beginning to thaw. “It’s dangerous to be out, I shouldn’t have been there… It’ll just put even more people in danger…”

“D-d-danger, h-huh?” Kaito mused, giving the kid a curious look… before grinning as a waitress brought over towels and warm cups of tea, “O-oh! Thank you! C-c-can I get a coffee too? And whatever the kid here w-w-wants.”

Putting the towel of his own head, Kaito rubbed the towel over his hair, shivering so hard that the water splashed around a bit, before draping the towel over his shoulders, “Ph-phew… hey, so, are w-we talking danger like lightning?” Kaito asked with a grin, “Cause, like… I’d believe you. If the danger is ‘being hunted by lightning’. Sounds reasonable to me!”

Josie could barely look the waitress in the eyes…but something warm to drink would be better for him in the long run. So, shamefully, he ordered some tea, getting the feeling extra caffeine would be a bad idea. 

Trying to dry himself off as well as he could, Josie sighed. “Lightning…anything that makes a storm like this dangerous. If I’m out there, then everyone looking for me could…get sick, or get hit with wind debris, or slip into something dangerous, or…get hit by lightning. It’s why all the advisory tells people to stay home.”

He sighed again, putting his face in his hands. “...I don’t literally mean my moms will kill me, by the way. Just… Just thought I was past this. They’re going to be so disappointed… And I’ve already probably worried them so much.”

Yeah, Kaito thought bullshit. That kid knew lightning was coming. Was the kid some sort of storm magic guy? Kaito would believe storm magic out of control. Or, maybe some sort of future seer? But only in like a general way, where he knew lighting was coming? Maybe he was dating the lightning and had broken up with the lightning and the lightning was being a very uncool dick about it? Fucking back off lightning! Someone the other guy just wasn’t that into you! 

“Fucking give that lightning a stern talking to,” Kaito muttered, fuming a little at the problem he had imagined in his head, “I swear, you set some standards, like it’s gotta be less than a tropical storm, or god forbid you want to hold out for a damn hurricane, oh noooo, you’re not allowed to want big things for yourself! You can’t bully and harass someone into being interested in you, dammit! You– oh, thank you.”

“Miss Crystal meeting up with you today?” the waitress asked Kaito with a smile, putting down the drinks, “Bit of bad weather for it, isn’t it?”

“Oh, no, not today. Just helping out my young friend here, thanks.” Kaito grinned, giving the waitress a warm nod, before looking back at Josie, “Anyway, yeah, you’re totally right? I’d be out of my head right now, if Tim was out here in this storm. Are you ‘missing’, or do they just think you’re somewhere less wet?”

…huh?

…maybe Josie really was still out of it. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise, really. Other than the moments after dreams, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d…been this out of sorts. 

Still, he could only give Kaito a confused look, trying to follow just what on earth the prince was saying…until he asked a question that was all too clear. His shoulders dropping, he wrapped his fingers around the diner mug, just powering through the sting. “Less wet. I told them I was spending some time with a girl I was seeing.”

He thought Mom was a little suspicious about that, but she had just told him to be careful, be a gracious guest. The thought was almost enough to make him laugh… Another lecture to get later, he guessed.

“So a smidge less wet,” Kaito snickered, sipping his coffee again, before sighing, “...do you remember what was happening up there at all? It’s okay if you don’t. But you were in a bit of a state when I found you.”

For a time. Right now, she was definitely having a worse time than him. Being broken up with would do that. Being told that you weren’t even considered close enough to have thought you were together, and thus given the courtesy of being broken up with was worse. 

Josie took a sip of tea. He could only taste sludge-y water. 

“Fell down a well when I was a kid,” he said. “Probably got some memories mixed around from that.”

Kaito winced, giving him an understanding nod, “Oof, a well? Those are, like, those really deep holes, right? Aren’t those full of water?”

Josie’s gaze drifted as he looked at his mug. A cylinder full of liquid. 

“Yep,” he said, popping the ‘p’. “The one I fell down was mostly empty, but full enough for…this,” he gestured to the storm outside, “to feel familiar, I guess. Broke one of my legs in the fall, and got these trying to get out.” He held his palm up for Kaito to see, old but still visible scars scraping up his hands and over the tips of his fingers.

“Not a great memory, so if you saw me freaking out…that’s why.”

“Oh, shit,” Kaito said, peering at Josie’s hands, eyes wide with both ‘gah’ but also a bit of wonder, “That’s a hell of a story, huh? Shit, I’d have episodes too, I think.”

His gaze went from Josie’s hand, up to his face… before pouting, “What, are you trying to freeze to death on me? Your hair is still soaked. Hold on,” Kaito sighed, scooting out of the booth and heading to his side, grabbing the towel and warning him, “Quick tornado time, got it?”

Then he put the towel down on Josie’s head, and quickly rubbed the towel up and down Josie’s hair, patting him lightly on the face before pulling the towel back to check his work… before snickering, “Aw, your hair. Pffff.” 

It was definitely a Traumatic Event. Capital letters and officially diagnosed and…wasn’t even the reason he’d been snatched up by CPS. And yet, it was the scene that tended to come up at some point when he dreamed about his old family. Josie supposed that he was just smarter about preparing for the cold than he was accidentally getting wet in a dark place. 

Josie was mildly amused as Kaito came over to personally dry him off, staying still throughout the tornado. Though he smirked a bit at Kaito’s snickering. “Hey, have you just given me the new-wave chic? Pity it’ll be wasted on a day most folks won’t see it. I’ll just have to slave away in front of a mirror trying to recreate genius later,” he winked.

Kaito’s grin widened, “Well, you can impress the waitress with it, at least. But you have to tell her that you got it from Denji, the castle stylist. I haven’t pissed them off in any meaningful way lately, they’d destroy me for giving them credit for a bad hairday. Or, hell, maybe they’ll lean into it and that’ll be the kings next haircut, which is also fun.”

Sitting back down, happy that Josie was a little drier, Kaito sipped at his coffee some more, letting it warm him… before he sighed. “Alright, time to check the diaper situation…”

Keeping one eye closed, hoping that if it was a mess in there only partially seeing it will only partially devastate him, Kaito peeked inside his bag… before giving a pleased little hum, “Oh, hey! Nice, the mud didn’t get inside! My baby’s tushie will be dry and clean another day!”

“...also, I don’t mean it literally, when I say Denji would destroy me. Get a bit sharp-tongued at me, but not destroy,” Kaito said, glancing over at Josie with a small smile, “Since, ya know. We’re clarifying.”

Curling some wild hair around a finger to check it out--yupp, that sure was some frizz--Josie snorted. “If he was into it, this really would become the next hot style. The king’s always had that kind of confident air about him--whatever the actuality of what he wears, people would be clamoring to emulate it.”

Sipping more tea--he was still shivering, but Josie could feel the hot liquid starting to do its job, warming him up from the inside--Josie regarded Kaito curiously. So that’s why he had been out in the storm… People had been talking about it for days, so he’d think the princes would’ve stocked up on diapers, but…well, he didn’t know how many a baby could go through in an emergency. Maybe they had suddenly needed more. 

…it did make him a little nervous, though, hearing that Kaito had managed to preserve the diapers through their walk over. 

Taking another sip to mask that, Josie smiled just in action. “Just thought I’d better be specific, since you’re actually helping with a CPS situation. This isn’t some understated call for help, just hyperbole.”

“Ooooh, right, that’s super fair. Though, let it be known, if Doppio’s going around saying I just accuse anyone’s parents of being abusive jerks, that is an exaggeration! I’ve only done it twice here! Twice does not a pattern make!

There was sudden small clatters, and Kaito raised an eyebrow before smiling warmly, “Oh, thank you, you didn’t have to do that.”

“A few pies for our guys lost in the storm. We’re only open on days like this to help folks like you out anyway,” The waitress explained with a shrug, passing a piece of pie to Josie as well, “Enjoy, fellas. I’ll bring some fresh towels soon.”

“They’re always really nice here. It’s one of my favorite diners. Partly because they’re always really nice to not interrupt if it’s obvious you’re kind of in the middle of talking about something heavy,” Kaito said, poking his pie– warm apple, nice– before saying, “...okay, but for real though? Why were you out on that hill at all? I mean, were you just sort of out there feeling your feelings? Because while I can’t necessarily approve of triggering yourself on purpose, I do get it. Sometimes it feels satisfying, to just kinda dive into that stuff. Just… feel it with all of you.”

“But, if someone forced you up that hill? In this weather?” Kaito said, biting into his pie, “I want to know about it.”

“No, but it does draw assumptions,” Josie smirked, before blinking at the pie slices set down on their table. Smiling a little more kindly, he gave a grateful nod to the waitress, thanking her. 

It was more Arven that was making accusations, but the way Josie had put things together…Kaito was right. And sometimes what you needed was a nosy asshole breaking the barriers of ‘benefit of the doubt’. Josie just didn’t want to put his moms under fire, it wasn’t their fault he was such a fuck-up. 

No, it was just…

Josie sighed tiredly, tasting some of the pie…or, eating it, anyway. “No, I wasn’t forced up. …I’m not sure I was really feeling anything, either. Or maybe just…feeling in a different way. This isn’t the first time I’ve been out in a storm, though…this one might be the worst. That’s…kind of why I said I hoped I was past this.”

It was a lot to put on a stranger. And normally Josie wouldn’t have even gotten close to this sort of conversation. But this wasn’t a normal circumstance and…he was cold and wet and tired and everything just felt…

“...might’ve been hoping to get struck by lightning or something,” Josie casually, shamefully, dully admitted, “Though I should really know better than to leave something like that up to chance.”

Kaito had to hold back a groan. 

Oh, god, another one. Why were there so many suicidal people in his life!? He was practically tripping over these people! Shuichi was just a start of a pattern, dammit! Kaito was bringing this onto himself somehow. Probably by literally chasing sad people. Damn.

Kaito looked around, found the dessert menu, took it, and bonked Josie on the head. Pouting sternly at him, before bopping him on the head with the menu again… before sighing, putting it aside, “Alright, let me ask the responsible question. Do you have a therapist, and are you in crisis?”

Josie snorted softly, bearing the bops to his head…before he sighed. Lounging out in the booth seating a little more. “I do, and…probably. But even if the office isn’t closed today, which it probably is, this isn’t the ‘emergency session’ kind of crisis.”

…maybe the ‘go to a suicide prevention center’ kind of crisis, but…Josie didn’t really want to do that. They’d always left a bad taste in his mouth.

Sipping from his tea, he rested his head back on the top of the booth. “...really, should just head home once I stop shaking, since I doubt the rain will end any time today, and…schedule something with my healer soon. If you want some, you can take on the responsibility of walking me home, but I’d think your diaperless kid would need you more.”

“Nah, she’s not diaperless. And my husband is the heir-apparent of Dicea. When he wants to know where I am? He knows where I am,” Kaito said, his tone a bit proud… even if the reason was Kokichi would probably just telepathically ask Kaito where he was if Kokichi started to get worried about him. But he could send guards if he wanted too! Probably! “So, basically, it’s fine, and you’re not shaking me that easily.”

“Also, sorry to be That Guy, but I guess I don’t really believe you’re okay, even if you think you are,” Kaito shrugged, eating some more of his pie. “You know, warm apple pie is really good. I bet I could make this… anyway, yeah, I know I asked, but standing out in a thunderstorm kinda vaguely hoping your ex the lightning takes you out is a crisis. So if you don’t want to shake me off with a therapist, I’ll stick with you till I’m convinced you’re not gonna ask your old flame ‘accidental landslide’ for a favor either.”

At that, Josie looked over, raising an eyebrow…but the intricacies of the royal family weren’t any of his business. If a critical diaper emergency wasn’t the reason why Kaito was braving a thunderstorm to buy diapers…okay, then. Though it did make Josie start to question the guy’s priorities. 

“Oh, I never said I was okay,” Josie agreed, taking another bite of his pie. “I am…very much not okay. But I don’t think seeing my therapist right now is the right call, is all.”

Again, Josie gave Kaito a bemused look, huffing an empty laugh. “...you know, I think maybe my actual exes would have a better chance at killing me. Since a murder charge would ruin their lives, it might actually happen…and they definitely have more of a reason to get at me than the blissful ambivalence of nature.”

“Aw, come on, you seem like a sweet kid! You’re always nice to my Arven,” Kaito said, “I’m sure your breakups haven’t been that bad.”

When Josie smiled, there was something undeniably…cold, to it. An expression of joy, but completely devoid of the feeling, cruel. “You know, I know he made amends to you already for it all, but Dimitri found a lot of information about you over the years. The name ‘Marcus’ ring a bell to you? Think there’s some lost love that would’ve spared you there, if not for your status?”

Kaito gave Josie a genuinely startled look, fork in his mouth… before he hummed, licking at the filling still leftover on it before shrugging, “Sorry, I can be a little dim sometimes. Could you clarify what you mean?” Kaito asked, smiling brightly.

The smile curled more bitter. 

Josie thought he was done with this too. …or, well, he was supposed to be, but…obviously not. Being…absolute garbage to the people around him, making them hate him…wasn’t restoring balance. But here he was, antagonizing a guy who’d pulled him out of a storm and was looking after his kouhai. 

Not even his, really. Arven had talked to him more in the past month than he had over years of knowing each other, and just because he recognized that Doppio was a little anxious didn’t mean that Josie had some relationship-building obligation to help him out. 

No, he just…really was rotten, down to the core. It was why he’d never stopped sleeping around, wasn’t it? Even today, he’d barely stopped feeling nauseous before telling Crissy or…Chrysanthemum, or whatever her name was that things were over. 

“Way I heard it, you almost stopped a marriage. Highly anticipated one. Sure, it takes two to tango…but the only reason people would actionably believe it was Marcus’ fault was because you’re a Momota, right?” Josie grinned cruelly, eyes empty. “Otherwise… Well, you’d know what they say about sluts like us, right? It’s only natural we’d fool around behind the off-limits signs.”

Kaito sipped his coffee, brow furrowed a bit, giving Josie an increasingly concerned look… before he sighed above his coffee, “Sheesh, man, it’s like you’re a totally different kind of slut from me. People thought I was easy. Like, can’t help myself, throw a pillow with a face on it in front of me and I’m down, kinda easy. You can’t blame a dog for being in heat.” Kaito said, rolling his eyes a little, “...aww, I made myself sad. But, also, kinda yeah.”

“But anyway, yeah, you got it right by the end. People didn’t blame me for the incident because I was a slut, and it was natural I’d jump if Marcus offered.” Kaito smirked, leaning in and whispering conspiratorially, “Wanna know what Samuel did when he found out? He fucked me next. I don’t know who he was proving a point to, me, Marcus, maybe himself. But he was mean about it too. And of course I let him. I’d say it was because I owed him, but Samuel was also a great looking guy. Twice as sexy angry.”

“... may he and Marcus move quickly through their trials.” Kaito said, his gaze a little glassy for a second… before he laughed, leaning back, “There, we done trying to piss me off? Seriously, I save you from one suicidal incident, and you’re already in the ‘chase me away by being an asshole’ phase? Ah well, at least you personalized it, gotta give you that.”

“It is a thin line, what people see as chasing and being pursued, huh?” Josie hummed. Though…ouch, it didn’t feel great talking about a dead guy like that, even if he was trying to be an asshole. Atuan afterlife or not…the dead were dead, and Josie doubt the guy stuck around as a ghost to be offended. 

Shrugging, Josie could only lop-sidedly grin. “Gotta be original where you can. Have to say, I get where Arven’s coming from not believing about your anger issues. You’ve gotten that shit locked down tight.”

“Why would that make me angry? In a way, you were defending my friend. And people were shitty to Marcus about everything that happened. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, exploring his other options and having experiences outside of Samuel. They were engaged, sure, but everyone knew Marcus wasn’t in love. Samuel had no right at that point to try to control Marcus’ sex life,” Kaito frowned, looking away, “And I was more than happy to do whatever Marcus wanted to do, because I liked him and he was nice to me and he deserved to be treated like he was sexy and desirable and like he was owed the world, every now and again. There’s nothing wrong with sex, and there’s nothing wrong with how special sex makes you feel. Who was Samuel to tell him no?”

“And, ya know, I think Samuel knew that too,” Kaito mused, looking down at his coffee, “Out of everyone who made Marcus feel like shit about it, it wasn’t Samuel who ever did it. Samuel took his anger out on me, not Marcus. Which is the thing that really made me root for them. Marcus might not have loved Samuel, but… Samuel genuinely loved Marcus. I really hoped they’d make it work someday.”

“So, no, I’m not gonna be angry at you calling me out for being a sex-obsessed asshole or that the rumors weren’t fair to Marcus. It’s just true,” Kaito shrugged, “...alright, your turn.”

Huh. Well, it looked like there wasn’t lost love, actually. It was…a surprisingly mature way for all three of them to feel about the scandal, in an atmosphere that certainly hadn’t treated it maturely. The way Dimitri had described it, you’d think entire fortunes would’ve been lost and old, knightly duels were in order. Bad example, then, though admittedly Josie had been grasping a bit at straws. For as much as the rumors had painted Kaito’s sex life in a full palette of colors, they never indicated that the relationships had meant much to either the prince or the people he saw. 

(Though the idea of sex making you feel special? Maybe e-special-ly sick.)

Josie raised an eyebrow, sipping his tea. “...turn for what?”

“I asked about how your ex’s went, and you turned it around back on me to try to make me feel like shit.” Kaito explained, vaguely hoping he could get more coffee soon… oh! He still had some tea! Yay, “Which means talking about your ex’s makes you feel like shit, and considering I just found you trying to off yourself in the most inconvenient way possible, I’m gonna guess it’s related.” 

“Soooo~” Kaito grinned, “Your turn. Or I’ll get mean next.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Josie winked, before lounging back some more. “What’s to say… I would say the rumors speak for themselves, but I know Dima’s too much of a Good Boy to mention anything, and I think Arven literally doesn’t care about me enough to even mention me in passing.”

“People want a good time, and I deliver,” he casually shrugged, “Sometimes someone gets a little too attached to that good time, and when I don’t play along with a little fantasy, well, I make a wonderful boogieman too, for people mired in their own loneliness, or are so desperate for affection they think a kiss means ‘I love you’. I’ve made a lot of enemies, is just what I meant before.”

“Aw, my Arven’s just intimidated by you. You’re tall and handsome and older, and worse, you know how to wink without looking stupid. That’s a superpower right there.” Kaito hummed, before putting up a ‘wait one’ finger, “Let me get one more coffee and another bit of pie. Do you want one? Then we can keep going.”

Getting his coffee and pie, Kaito grinned, happy to dig into it again, as he said cheerfully, “You sure people are devastated because they’re buying into fantasies, or they're devastated because you think rejecting someone means suddenly acting like a total dickhead to them? Because I’m guessing you go the dickhead route. Call it a hunch. You know, most people can take a no, you don’t have to make rejection a whole theater performance.”

“He did steal my ‘green’ line,” Josie hummed, a little amused. Well, Arven was lucky, then. Even feeling like this, he had no inclination to try and ‘steal’ Doppio away…and not just because Doppio wasn’t interested in him at all. Josie really didn’t know the criteria for what his brain actually put as off limits, when the whole point of all this was…

“Hey, but where’s the fun in that?” Josie chuckled, the sound empty. “And calling them ‘devastated’ is pushing it a little, even for teen drama. Cursing the guy you boned for a week or two is more in the realm of ‘pissed’ for impact--don’t go giving me a big head, here. Humility is a virtue.”

“They’re not devastated because they didn’t get you, kid. They’re devastated because someone was mean to them, and that’s actually pretty rare,” Kaito said, sighing as he shook his head, “Look, you might not notice this, because people were mean to you for… basically literally fucking forever? Right? You don’t see anything particularly unique or noteworthy, being a dick to other people, which means you’ve either never been hurt and have no concept of it, or you’ve been hurt so much that it’s changed your perception of what that means.”

“So, assuming you’re not some sheltered kid who’d have a meltdown being told ‘no’ for the first time in his life, then let me clue you in on what pain looks like to everyone else. Being insulted to your face? Being treated like you’re worthless, or even worse, active garbage?” Kaito said, giving Josie a dry look, “Some of the people you’ve rejected? That’s the first time someone’s been that cruel to them since middle school. Some of them haven’t been hurt like that since the playground when they were five. They’re not hurt because you’re just soooooo good at insulting people, or because you’re sooooo important to them. They’re hurt because they can’t fucking believe someone would even want to hurt them. So no, you’re not special because you’re just ‘that good’. You’re just a unique sort of awful in their lives. Devastating because it’s surprising.”

“But you don’t get surprised being insulted,” Kaito said, “So, I can’t blame you for not understanding how it affects others.”

Josie met Kaito’s dry look with a raised eyebrow. This guy…really was pulling out all the stops, trying to meet ground with a troubled kid, huh. More and more it was making sense, both Arven’s exasperation, but also why he called the castle home. More than the fact Doppio was there. 

A shame he was wasted on Josie.

“Hm, hmmmm,” Josie nodded, looking like he was taking in sagely words. “Oh, you’re so right, I never once considered how my actions affected others. The shock that anyone would be cruel to them at all? That kind of privilege is oh-so foreign to me, it’s true. What a thing to base my ego off of, an attempt to feel special. Now that you’ve opened my eyes, I’ll change my behavior posthaste.”

For good measure, Josie widened his eyes a little, giving a little earnest nod.

Kaito lit up, grinning wide, “See? You can be better if you try! Like being nicer to your ex’s! It’s entirely within your power, I believe in you!”

Then he reached across the table and patted Josie on the head, before leaning back with another bright grin, “Now! Why did your ex send you up a hill trying to get your ass randomly reamed by a thunderstorm?”

Now there was a conundrum. Josie had no idea if the guy was choosing to believe that, or just going along with it, seeing any other avenue as a dead end. 

“She didn’t,” Josie said, shrugging. “I went myself after leaving her place.”

Even if he could tell she wanted to throw him out--the ‘I never want to see you again’s were pretty clear--she hadn’t actually sent him out into the dangerous storm. Josie had just chosen to leave. 

Because in full honesty, there had been a part of him planning to be out in it from the beginning. Spending time with Christina and subsequently saying he didn’t want to keep seeing her had just been an excuse to leave without questions. That was probably what the look from his mom had been about. 

The storm had been convenient. That part of Josie had been looking for an outlet, an excuse like this for days. 

Kaito nodded, crossing his arms over his chest, “Mhm, mhm. And you, after leaving her place, probably saying something shitty… were suddenly overcome with regret!” Kaito said, standing and pointing dramatically at Josie, before clasping his hand into a fist as he said, “Because it was only once you had let her go, that you realized you were HOPELESSLY IN LOVE!”

“Prince Kaito, remember to use your indoor voice!” The waitress called merrily from the kitchen, “Just because it’s quiet doesn’t mean this is a place you can shout.”

“...RIGHT! MY BAD!” Kaito called, before slamming his hand down on the table, saying in a more hushed shout, “And realizing you could never take back the horrible, entirely unnecessary, kinda bratty thing you said, you decided you needed a breathtaking view to better lament your lost love! So you went to the hill! Which has a great view!”

Josie nodded, humming little, ‘mhmm’s to validate Kaito’s every claim, only pausing to sip through his tea. He was…starting to get feeling back in his fingertips. 

“One of the best views in the city,” Josie agreed. “And the storm was only better to represent my tumultuous heart, nature never a purer reflection of what was going on inside. It was only the greatest act of irony that it ended up triggering me--a cautionary tale to losing yourself in self-pity. In theater, I bet such a show would win awards.”

“Of course, even better with a caped savior pulling me out of the storm and setting my head straight. A moment of heroics and wisdom that people would quote for the ages. And now, with my heart set right and true, I need to…” Josie drawled a little, waving a hand vaguely, “Make a dramatic run through the rain, back to my dearest’s house and plead for forgiveness? Or perhaps audiences would like something a little more realistic, waiting for a drier day, perhaps bright sun to reflect the clouds of arrogance and cruelty blown away, to make a deeper gesture, not expecting forgiveness, but proving it? I bet a good editor would have an idea where to take it.”

“I mean, ideally you’d start running through the rain, and just as you get to her, the skies clear up, and bright beams of sunlight beam through the shimmering, sparkling tree leaves down on you both! Because she was on her way to find you, carrying an umbrella, but showing she was ready to brave the storm for you too!” Kaito said, clasping his hands into his fists, eyes bright and shining as he said, “Because it’s not just a matter of you realizing you were wrong, but in that moment her realizing that despite everything she still loves you, and she wants to try to make it work! A mutual display of love through both desire and hard work!”

“And I think as your mentor I should die at some point? To show you the fragility of life or something? And you name your first kid after me… but only their middle name. I don’t get first name privileges… why not? Kaito is a great first name! Even for a girl! Kaito’s both masculiney handsome, and femininely beautiful! And it can totally be neutral if the kid ends up wanting to be ambiguous!”

Kaito paused… before sighing, “It’d be nice if romances were like that. Are yours like that? I don’t really know if that kind of love works that fast. Most of the romantic gestures I’ve valued over the years only happened after my partner had been with me for a while, and just knew me better, ya know? Love through getting to know someone, rather than a whirlwind romance.”

“Oh,” Josie clapped once (hands still shaking a bit. That wasn’t ideal) before gesturing to Kaito, “Now that’s a scene. Making the weather even more of a character and reflection of character emotions, while giving more agency to the female lead? Have you worked in editing before? That’s just perfect.”

Cupping his hands around his mug again, Josie just gave Kaito a tiredly amused look. “I don’t think any ‘relationship’ I’ve ever been in could ever be described as romantic. So…no.”

“Ah,” Kaito sighed, nodding, “You’re missing out. It’s intense. Because it gets to a point where your partners understand you? And man, forget your little rumor sadist powerplay, a lover who actually understands how you think? How you work? They turn you into pretzels and burn you like acid and push you up above the sky, all in the same breath. They destroy you.’ Kaito mused, eyes distant and far away, “It’s the best sort of love I know. Being just… ripped apart. And then they take all the pieces and gently shake it out like little square fabrics and they sew you back together, and you realize the reason they had to destroy you was because the stitching had been done all wrong by the last person, and they couldn’t stand to watch the way your inlines pinched and stabbed at you anymore.”

“True love is comfortable and devastating,” Kaito said, “I’d really recommend it…” Kaito suddenly smirked, shaking his head, “Sorry, I was getting sentimental. I love my husbands. But that’s not really what we’re talking about. Based on everything you’ve just said. I’d guess love’s got nothing to do with whatever sent you up the hill. Am I getting any closer, knocking that one away as a possibility?”

Really, the only way someone would love him would be after ripping him apart and rearranging the pieces into something halfway decent. And even then? Their love for him would only be their downfall. Even if Josie were to dedicate his heart to someone, it would just burn them. But what a joke even getting to that point. 

“Ah, well, we’ll get there someday. True love and soulmates and fish in the sea, all that, whatever you believe,” Josie shrugged, before leaning an elbow on the table. “Is that the conclusion you’ve drawn from all this?”

“It’s noooot about loving or not loving your partner. But when I originally brought up why you were wanting to kill yourself, you mocked me for getting out of punishment, when I was being a whore and breaking up a marriage,” Kaito mused, leaning against the table and looking out the window at the storm still raging outside, “That’s where your mind went… you know Dimitri really well, there were other examples you could have used that could have hurt me. Chad’s easy. Hifumi’s easy. But you went… Marcus.”

Tapping at his cheek, Kaito theorized aloud, words slow and careful, “Maybe because… the Chad incident was clearly me being terrorized… and so was the Hifumi incident, if you’re not too much of an asshole to realize why that was so terrorizing… but Marcus? Marcus would have, ideally, inspired guilt in me… you wanted me to feel guilty. I asked why you were up on the hill, and you tried to make me feel guilty.”

“...are you feeling guilty that you didn’t love her?” Kaito asked, looking curiously at Josie, “...why? You said it was a short fling. You’re allowed to not love someone.”

True. Through Dimitri, Josie had heard about Chad and Hifumi. But as far as Josie understood those situations, Chad had never done anything to get back at Kaito for nearly being a public execution, which…made sense. And while those comics were definitely revenge porn…Josie had gotten the impression that it hadn’t even been a fling between Kaito and Hifumi. Just someone bitter not getting to tap what they wanted. So neither had felt like reasonable comparisons to Josie’s exes…and neither was Marcus, really, but his had been the first halfway decent name to come to mind. 

Though…it was interesting to see how fixated on the ‘lover’ thing Kaito had gotten, completely forgetting how they’d even started talking about it in the first place. Manipulation buying into their own narrative. 

Josie sighed mournfully. “Feelings may not be logical, but it’s reasonable to feel guilty when someone bears their heart to you, no? A vulnerability that requests some in kind…only the cruelest hearts would feel nothing upon not returning even the faintest facsimile.”

“Enough to try to get yourself blown up by lightning?” Kaito asked, resting his temple against his fist, tapping against the table, “I mean, maybe? Maybe… but you’re trying so hard to be an asshole. Why would being a little unkind to a fling for reasons that are understandable send you crawling uphill towards your death, but throwing a guys affair with his recently dead friends is played off like a cute little game?” 

Kaito paused, before trying, “You’re not, like, anti-Luminary or anti-monarch, are you? Anti-Momota? Something that would mean you get a free emotional pass to treat me different? Legit question, I’ll accept personal bias as an answer.”

Josie’s gaze cooled into almost complete apathy as he ate more of his pie, at least trying to finish the initial slice the waitress had brought over. Maybe having something in his stomach would help on the inevitably horrible walk back home. Maybe he wouldn’t even throw it up later. 

“Yeah, I really hate the place one of my best friends has been gushing over for years, to the point where he set up entire systems and backstories in every roleplaying game he’s in. Despise something that’s made someone I see as a brother happy enough to get out of his own melancholic pit.”

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Kaito grinned, before sighing, running his fingers through his short side hair, scratching his scalp a bit, “Okay! So it’s not a personal bias that made you act like that. Which means it can’t be you actually felt guilty enough about turning someone down that you wanted to die. But you do feel guilty about something. Aggggh, I’m missing pieces…”

“I don’t want to add the well thing, because I’m assuming the well trigger happened after you got up there,” Kaito murmured, tapping his forehead, before leaning back and sighing, “Ngh, okay, okay… you haven’t tried running away just yet, so at least a part of you wants to talk about this a little… or you just think I’m amusing. But I can work with that. The biggest issue is that you still haven’t calmed down. You’re still freaked out. Understandable…Okay!”

Kaito let his hands fall, grinning brightly at Josie, “What about a trade? You wanted to emotionally sucker punch me, when I asked for info, but you picked the wrong subject! I’ll give you the right subject, but in exchange, I get a clue or a hint for why you went up the hill! I mean it, sincerely, I’ll hand you prime ‘Fuck with Kaito’ realstate, and you get a total free pass to use it, but. I want some help in helping you. Deal?”

Cute. What a fucking…powertrip. Leaving little clues, acting like…like a meeting of the minds in a detective novel, playing cat and mouse around each other, but switching spots every minute. Being obtuse, but giving just enough to…to what?

Kaito said it meant something that he hadn’t run, and…Josie agreed. Sure, it was the apocalypse outside, and Kaito had already threatened that he wasn’t easy to leave, but Josie still did have the option. So…what?

Kaito said he wanted to emotionally sucker punch him. But…did Josie want to hurt him? 

Of course he did, Josie wanted to hurt everything. If everything was Ruined, then nothing could be Ruined. 

Of course he didn’t, Josie tried so hard to look out for people and see them living their best lives. He had nothing against Kaito, and the guy had helped him out. 

Kaito had helped him out, so he had something against the guy. Josie didn’t need help, he didn’t deserve help, his life was perfect and, Naga, please, why hadn’t he just died before--

Josie’s grip had tightened dangerously tight on his mug, but before it could even crack, let alone shatter, there was a glow along his back, Josie just able to see the reflection on the table… And he didn’t even have a moment to turn ashen before there was a crash from the diner kitchen. 

Eyes going wide and horrified, Josie abruptly stood up and immediately started to leave. “...I’ve gotta go, thanks for the food.”

Kaito startled, glancing over his shoulder at the sound, before his attention was pulled on that, oh, oops, fleeing kid into the storm. Damn. Kaito shouldn’t have reminded him Josie could run. Kaito always messed up that bit, never remind them their legs were working!

Hurrying past the counter, Kaito called into the kitchen, where the staff was picking up a fallen platter of prep ingredients, “I’ll be back to pay at latest tomorrow sorry!” before running out the door, eyes looking for Josie’s back, “JOSIE! JOSIE, YOU COME RIGHT BACK HERE! RUNNING OFF INTO A STORM IS ONLY FUN IN BOOKS, DAMMIT!”

He was going back home. For the mental space he was in, one suicide attempt was enough for the day, thanks. But he just… He couldn’t stay there. Playing a game like he was a dungeon master, not truly leaving, not truly letting himself be helped. How…self-righteous. 

(Like he hadn’t been playing that game with Khalid for the past three years)

It was still dangerous out in the storm, but…again, Josie wasn’t going to spend the whole day in that diner, even if they were alright with it, so he’d have to walk through it at some point. At least he could feel his legs again. 

He could still hear Kaito behind him, and…it was just as bad to lead the guy through the storm, but they wouldn’t get anywhere either if Josie just stopped and--

“Wha-...? Oh, no, no, what in the Fell actions…?

Stopping, Josie pivoted on his heel, heading toward the horse out in the square for fuck’s… Who would bring a horse out into this?! The poor thing, it was…

If Kaito were still chasing him, he’d find Josie gently petting a grey horse’s neck. A, uh…grey horse with small fins and seaweed where its fur and mane and tail should be.

Kaito huffed, all the warmth from the warm drinks and the dry air of the diner thoroughly gone, his came cool-ass cape accidentally left behind in the booth, wet and fucking cold again and god dammit why did they always run–...???

He slowed down to a stop, staring a bit warily at what he was seeing. If he had been alone? He’d have probably been full of fascinated joy. But… the kid was next to some… animal. Twice his size and strange, and Kaito felt that tension of Don’t eat my kids run through him, as he slowed his walk forward, trying not to startle either Josie or the… horse.

“...Josie, are you, uh… do you see…” Kaito had no idea how to ask if Josie was seeing what he was seeing, and decided to opt for, “Kid, if this isn’t your horse, maybe you should walk… very slowly back towards me…”

“You should go, Kaito,” Josie said after a moment, voice just barely loud enough to be heard over the raging storm. His hair looked even worse, the wild ruffled now plastered down. He pet gently down the horse’s nose, smiling softly at the soft knicker he got in return. 

…maybe Kaito knew, maybe he didn’t. But he wasn’t charging for the creature immediately, so…

“Cruel, isn’t it?” he sighed, shaking his head a little at the horse. “What are you doing out here? It’s dangerous, don’t you know?” The horse’s ridged, finned ears were pointed forward, relaxed. 

Josie looked back at Kaito. “...they say kelpies only show up around humans when someone’s going to die. You should go home, Kaito.”

“...oooooooh,” Kaito said, nodding like this made total sense to him and was entirely fair and normal, as he very slowly but very steadily kept moving towards Josie, side-eyeing the murder-horse much harder now as he said, “That’s cool, that’s cool. I heard there was a cat that sort of had a reputation for that. Like, at a hospital? Cat would chill out with patients that’d probably be dead within a few days. So, ya know, sea…horses. Death cats. It’s a… big interesting world out here.”

“Buuuut, but, but, youuuuu were supposed to go back home to your moms, and ya know, I really should have taken you home like an hour ago? I got too caught up in the whole hill suicide thing, sort of a hobby of mine, really let my anti-suicide hyperfixation get to me again,” Kaito said, reaching out towards Josie a little blindly, because now that he was near the… kelpie? It was very hard not to look at it and very hard to not let his legs get a little wobbly with fear, as he said a tad urgently, “I should go ahead and take you home now, kid.”

…oh fuck. Kohtalon, please be watching…

Josie looked back at Kaito for a moment before sighing. “...yeah. I know. I just got worried, seeing this gal out here on her own…but turns out you’re just fine with the world turned into the ocean, huh?” The kelpie turned its head a little, chasing Josie’s hand for more pets, making him laugh softly. 

…if Kaito wouldn’t leave to save himself, then…well. It was about time he got home. 

And like other ‘bad luck’ animals…Josie thought they got a bad rap. He had no idea what a kelpie was doing in the middle of Usott, when even the nearest lake was miles away, but…it could just be enjoying the storm, knowing that most people would be away. He couldn’t blame the creature for taking its opportunities. 

With one last sigh, Josie hugged the kelpie before running a hand down its flank, giving a small pet. “You go on home, okay? Shoo. Someone’ll see you here and panic.”

The kelpie seemed almost amused as it knickered and calmly started walking away.

Josie watched for a moment before looking more seriously at Kaito. “...you feeling okay? No sudden pain in your arm, you can say the alphabet? I don’t know how well I’d be able to convince people I wasn’t a murderer if you really end up keeling over now.”

Kaito watched as the kelpie walked away, the horse disappearing into the storm. Then the kid– Dicea’s kid, anyway. Kaito was doing his best, but it was hard to look at him and not see another man– had the audacity to look at Kaito like Kaito was acting silly, and needed managing…

…and Kaito suddenly snarled, as he grabbed the kids jacket collars, tugging him down and shouting at him, “YOU DON’T FUCKING DO THAT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?”

Gripping the collars tighter together, Kaito shouted up at the kids face, “You do not RUN INTO A STORM just because you’re startled and unhappy without so much as a GOD DAMN RAINCOAT! And if you see a dangerous animal in that storm, you don’t say FUCK IT and go PET IT! You have people who care about you! What the FUCK was I supposed to tell your mothers if you disappeared out here and I was the last person who ever saw you!? Sorry, he was a dickhead, I called him out, and then he fucking RAN TO HIS DEATH!? You STUPID CHILD!”

Ah, found it. 

The thing that actually stoked Kaito’s rage. Josie would almost get excited, preparing for a punch or to be shoved, except that he knew enough about Kaito to know this was about as violent the man would get towards a child he was worried about. As it was, Josie’s eyes just widened slightly, a faint grin growing on his face as he let Kaito tug him around. 

Hearing Kaito call him

A stupid child. Barely worth the blood in his veins. An embarrassment of the ███████ name, you better shape up, child, at least you have one thing worth your life. 

Is the little princess upset? You shouldn’t have even been born. You’ll never understand pain, never understand what it’s like to have everything taken from you…but I can try. You’re smart, try to understand this, princes--

“100 gold.”

Josie’s eyes widened a little more at the voice that cut through the wind. 

“You can be fined 100 gold for assault. Let go of my son, now.”

Briefly, briefly, Kaito fought the urge to just say dismissively, ‘bill it to Queen Kaede’... but hearing her say to let go of her son couldn’t have moved Kaito off of Josie faster. Pulling his hands back like they were burned and taking a few steps backwards, guilty and nervous as he turned to the voice and said quickly, “O-oh! Um… m-my apologies! I uh…”

Kaito took a few more nervous steps back, the anger receding and the reality of the situation absolutely shooting off every single social fear Kaito had. And most of it, even if it was a social fear about upsetting the mother, or upsetting the law, or upsetting the people, or embarrassing himself, the Ouma’s, Luminary… all of it equaled too the fear, Oh, fuck, Kokichi’s gonna be so mad at me.

“...lost my temper.” Kaito said, keeping his hands visible to the woman as he said, “I apologize.”

Kana Sylga was an imposing woman. She had been for most of her life, but where most young teens might feel self-conscious about being a head taller than their classmates, or about the permanent scowl on their face that made even the bravest second-think speaking to her, Kana had taken advantage of everything she had. Never letting her mind stray from her goals, and using the inherent second-thoughts people gave at her appearance to exto - er, persuade them into more productive matters. 

Tsubame Sylga was not all those things, but Josie looked even more terrified as his Mamà rushed over to him, forgoing the safety of Kana’s large umbrella and pulling her much taller son into her arms. 

“Ma - Mamà, I-I’m alright - y-yeah, I’m fine, he just, no, I’m good, he - it was a misunderstanding!” Josie plead under his mother’s rapid check overs. 

Walking over, each step purposeful in the puddle-laden street, Kana looked Kaito in the eye. “A misunderstanding.”

Was it?? 

Kaito knew the kid was trying to get him an out, but Kaito had been screaming at him and shaking him in the middle of a storm. What was the misunderstanding? He saw a spider on the guy and was trying to scare the spider off? By shaking him? With his fists?

…oh, this was one of Dicea’s amazons. Wow. Very pretty. Very scary. Kaito very much wished he had managed to get Miyako’s diapers home, if he was about to get his ass kicked.

…shit, should he tell the moms their kid had a suicidal episode today?

….. Kaito hadn’t even gotten close to breaking through to Josie. So. “Your son was having a pretty severe depressive episode earlier,” Kaito said, leaning back a bit as Amazon Mom leaned in, trying both not to be nervous and also not to get turned on by the intense look, “I stumbled on him standing out in the rain and made him go to a diner with me to warm up. I apologize, I should have taken him straight home to you, but I thought I could get him to open up to me if I talked to him long enough. But he ran off and almost got hurt again, and I panicked when I realized I had made a mistake.”

They had heard the last bit of things. There still could be a misunderstanding, but… 

Tsubame had thought it was a good thing that Josie said he was going to a friend’s to wait out the storm. He had been so down lately, she thought that seeing take initiative to do something fun was a good sign. 

But it wasn’t a friend. Josie hadn’t said he was going to Hugo’s or Irene’s or Dimitri’s, or even to the Nagan Mosque. He was going to a ‘friend’s. Some girl whose name neither of them had even heard before, and Kana had a bad feeling about the whole thing…but she trusted her son, and believed in her wife, and had bade him safe travels in the rain. 

Hours later, now, the bad feeling had only grown after Kana had seen Josie’s raincoat still hanging in his closet. The two of them had taken to the streets, trying to find him, only to find some grown man throttling him and calling him…stupid, and a deathseeker. 

Oh, it was a misunderstanding of sorts. Josie had likely goaded the man into fury. 

It looked like Tsubame had come to the same conclusion, if the way she was pinching his cheeks was any indication. 

Hearing the man’s explanation, Kana let out a short, low, “Hm.” 

“I didn’t think we had vetted a new therapist,” she said damningly. “You did make a mistake. And panic is not a defensible reason to assault and belittle and demean a child.”

“...but thank you for telling us, and looking after our son,” Kana nodded, bowing her head for a moment. “We’re sorry for the distress he’s caused you. Nature isn’t the only thing Josie goes out picking fights with when he’s not feeling well. As apology, we won’t file a case against you.”

The moment was broken by a sob from the side, Josie curled into Tsubame’s arms, crying as she held him tight. They thought they were past this…but they were never going to leave from his mistakes. 

Sighing, Kana walked over, holding the umbrella over her family. 

She sent a disinterested gaze Kaito’s way. “You should get home too. It’s dangerous out here, and you probably have people waiting for you too.”

Kaito winced at the warning– oh, fuck, please don’t report him, Kokichi was going to be so upset– before warily nodding as he took a few more nervous steps back. This whole family was Danger. He couldn’t stay here, he’d get hurt. God, why did he chase after assholes like fucking catnip…

Kaito thought about saying something like he hoped Josie felt better, but honestly he just wanted to escape this situation. So nodding warily, Kaito backed up some more, watching the family start to head off, before turning and heading back into the storm himself. 

Kaito managed to get back to the diner, and he literally had to catch his breath at the door, panting as he tried to put his face back into something resembling a put together person. He was soaked and shivering and he was so fucking cold. He needed to get his cloak and if he had the luck of Atua maybe some of the diapers were still dry in the bag and maybe his family wasn’t going to be pissed at him and maybe this whole day hadn’t been entirely shot…

…he didn’t go inside for a minute. Just resting by the door and letting himself shudder for a moment. He had to stop doing this, he had to. He shouldn’t have been out getting diapers in the first place and the dumbass kid wasn’t going to get hit by lightning anyway in his stupid theatrical suicide attempt and Kaito was tired of swallowing his hurt and his pride desperately trying to reach out to people and he had nearly gotten himself in legal trouble again and he would have embarrassed Kokichi. 

He had to stop doing this…

…taking a steadying breath, Kaito went inside to collect his cloak. Then he’d go home and explain himself before someone else had the chance to tell on him. 

-

“You have to stop doing this, Josie,” Tsubame said once Josie had stopped crying enough for the three of them to start walking home. 

“I know, I-I’m sorry, I know…” he sniffled, still crying in shame. In fear and in relief and in exhaustion. 

A storm was no place for a conversation, so the Sylga family left it at that until they got to their doorstep, until they had gotten out every towel they owned and set some warm water and curled up by a water heater under countless blankets. And curled up in Kana’s lap, as Tsubame started massaging warmth and feeling back into his arms down to his fingers, Josie started crying again. 

“I almost killed him… I-I thought I was in the well, and Prince Kaito found me and…a-and Ruin went off and… He almost got hit by lightning, I-I had to…f-fuckin’, jump on top of him a-and set it off on purpose to… It kept going off, a-and there was a kelpie in town and-”

Kana’s sharp glare tempered the way her wife’s eyes lit up, hearing that such an elusive creature had been in town, and with a sigh Tsubame rubbed Josie’s palm. “It sounds to me you saved that man’s life, rather than almost killing him. Your Deity Mark going off isn’t your fault, Josie…but using it on purpose to save someone is amazing! I’m really proud of you, snuggle-snarl.”

Josie squeezed his eyes shut tight as Kana worked a brush gently through his for once pet name-appropriate snarls. “We know you’ve been struggling. That’s not your fault. But we’re here for you, Josie, and not speaking up, doing…this. Going out in just a shirt, antagonizing someone just to feel hated…you are better than this. You need to act like it. You can’t be so afraid of others’ suffering that you become the greatest source of it in your life. You can’t. Do this.”

“...I’m sorry,” Josie whispered.

Tsubame shared a worried, tired look with her wife, before they both reached around their son to wrap him in an inescapable hug of love. 

“I know, Josie. We’re going to the healer tomorrow.” 

“Okay…”

“And scheduling an emergency session with your therapist.”

“Mhmm.”

“And you can think about how to make up for being such a jerk.”

A small, fragile laugh. “Alright.”

-

It’s not like Josie was a perfect record student… but Dimitri had been noticing some things up with his friend for a little while now, and a sudden absence from school only added to the list of things. 

Josie could get… it was hard to explain. It’s not like Josie was ever really above teasing even on his best days, but lately, his teasing was a little more mean spirited. A little more aggressive. Not to Dimitri. Honestly, Dimitri couldn’t remember the last time Josie had ever said so much as a dismissive word to Dimitri, even if when they were young it had been semi-frequent. But Josie did like to make sometimes mean jokes about other people to Dimitri, and those jokes had been getting less… funny. 

Josie had a way of letting his emotions build. Maybe he was just taking a break from school that day, or feeling sick. But Dimitri found himself heading to his friends house after school, wanting to confirm it one way or another, as he knocked on the door. 

“Mrs. Sylga,” Dimitri called through the door, “Josie? It’s me.”

It took a few moments, but that wasn’t unusual for the Sylga house. Eventually there were the sounds of shuffling and bumping, maybe a few things falling to the floor, and those sounds were telling enough before Tsubame opened the door, somehow making ‘frazzled’ look effortlessly pretty as she lit up, smiling at Dimitri like he was the sun coming up in the morning. 

“Mitya! Come in, come in!” Tsubame insisted, waving Dimitri in with paint splattered hands. “Is school out already? How time flies! Do you want anything to eat, drink? Kana brought home a case of these lovely lychee juices, new stock at the store, you really should have one.”

“JOSIE!!” she called into the house, “YOU HAVE A GUEST! MAKE SURE YOU HAVE UNDIES ON!!”

Undeterred by the silence, Tsubame just worked her way around the house like a whirlwind. “It really is great to see you, Dimitri, I feel like it’s been too long. It’s almost like Jo-Jo’s embarrassed, how rarely he brings people over these days!”

…these days meaning the last two weeks, really. 

“Oh, well, we see each other at school and at chess club, of course,” Dimitri smiled, his voice soft and a little shy, as it always was with his friends parents. Dimitri had been young when he had met the Sylga’s, and of all his persona’s he’s made to get by over the years, he never really managed to pull himself away from the shy kid they had first met. Sometimes he felt like he should try to act more confident and self-assured with them, but a part of him always felt like he was putting on a character when he tried, which felt immature with the Sylgas.

“But it’s good to see you too. Should I just go upstairs?” Dimitri asked, glancing up the steps.

“Josie’s in the den, actually,” Tsubame indicated, like Dimitri hadn’t been over dozens of times. And making her voice a little quieter, she gave the teen a more serious look. “He’s been a little down recently. If he doesn’t get around to saying it…I appreciate you coming over, Mitya. You’ve always been such a good friend to Josie.”

She said ‘down’ like it meant something. And…it really did. Dimitri had known Josie even longer than she had, and he had been there when ‘down’ meant that Josie moved a little slower, sat a little more carefully, after being accosted by Micklaighn Etrig. Had known Josie when ‘down’ meant…a couple months’ stay in the hospital. 

So the word and look were weighted, as Tsubame nodded for Dimitri to go farther into their house. 

In a cozy little cloister of the home, Josie was swaddled in a few blankets, looking over from two couches that had been pushed together so their seats were touching, making a nest of pillows and comforters. His hair was unstyled and his eyes were a little swollen, and while thinking it was from sleep or maybe tears wouldn’t be incorrect, it wasn’t quite the reason. 

Ah. Okay.

Dimitri gave Mrs. Sylga a small, nervous little smile, before heading to the den. He was nervous, but not because he was afraid of Josie or anything. It just sucked to see his friend in a bad state. But it was always good to be there for him when he was. Josie was always there for Dimitri, after all, even if Dimitri’s problems weren’t as intense as Josie’s. He still appreciated his friend, and wanted to be a good friend in turn.

Seeing Josie all bundled up, Dimitri gave him a little wave, before heading in and, without waiting to be invited, crawling onto the other side of the couch nest. He and Josie were both fairly big guys, but they made it work, a slotting of legs coming naturally to them, as Dimitri fished a little figurine out of his pocket, passing it over to Josie.

“Here. Arven passed this to me. Apparently it’s a pokemon you designed? He got it finished over the weekend. It’s… not bad,” Dimitri said generously, Arven’s amateur skills at clay molding still pretty obvious. “What’s it called?”

It didn’t even occur to Josie to turn away from his friend. Hugo hated hearing it, but Josie kind of loved the story Mr. Fraldarius told sometimes, about Hugo sneaking into Josie’s guest room after a nightmare and Josie holding up the covers for him and hugging him close, all without waking up. 

Josie adored his friends. That love was just…hard to deal with sometimes. 

Leaning towards Dimitri as they got comfortable together in the couch nest, Josie’s eyebrow raised a little in question at the figurine Dimitri passed over. It was…pretty different from the tabletop figurines he’d seen before…

“...Horsea,” Josie said after a moment, his voice thin with disuse and needing a second to get started again…though he smiled softly. Turning the…kind of lumpy figure over in his fingers. The spiral tail was far too even, indicating a kind of horrifying type of anatomy if it ever unfurled. But…it had a certain kind of charm, all the same. “It’s a line of seahorse creatures… Brilliant, inspired name, I know.”

“...” Josie looked back up at Dimitri. “Why’d he give it to you?”

“He asked me where you were at school, and I told him I was planning to visit you at home. So he gave me that to pass to you.” Dimitri explained, pulling out another figurine, “He seemed excited to show off his and Doppio’s work. I got a pokemon too. I mean, I think it’s… literally just a sheep?”

Dimitri showed the little sheep chess piece, before saying, “They called it Mareep though. Don’t know why I got a sheep. I got the sense they were just finishing pokemon at random and wanted to give out some of them out of excitement. It was nice, you would have thought it was cute.”

Fiddling with his basically just a sheep pokemon, Dimitri looked at Josie’s disheveled appearance, before saying, “Pretty big storm last night, huh?”

“Man, you miss one day and that’s when everything happens. Damn… Would’ve loved to see Arven getting all proud,” Josie softly smirked, turning the Horsea around in his hand again. It really was cute… The year-10s were almost finished with a full chess set. The last club, he could remember them getting so excited to play their first game with all pokemon. 

He was…glad he hadn’t missed it today. 

Looking over at Mareep, Josie snorted softly. “They didn’t make a mouth for it, so I couldn’t say if they were making a point about a wolf in sheep’s clothing. But…look, the horn nubs are striped, that’s different than a regular sheep.”

His smile soon faded, though, and Josie somehow sunk even more into the nest of softness. “...yeah. Hasn’t been one that bad in a while. You and your folks okay? El? You said she gets kinda worried about leaks, right?”

“No, the pipes are regularly stress-tested, and even a large influx of water isn’t going to overflow the system, and... Oh, you mean the house,” Dimitri smiled a little sheepishly, before nodding, “No, we’re okay. It looks like our attempts to fix the plaster last time are holding on this time. So, that’s good…”

Dimitri fussed with his figurine some more, “...um, I did something kind of cool during a one on one session of roleplaying with Dedan,” Dimitri offered, not wanting to just ask ‘what happened’ just yet, “Victoria DesertDiamond managed to sneak into a guards headquarter to steal a glimpse of her fathers arrest records? And Dedan’s rogue, Hawke ShadowBeast, caught her in there, and the two had to escape together when the alarm went off. So, I think our characters are finally on more or less the same side, while they try to figure out where the disappeared people are going… so that’s nice,” Dimitri smiled lightly.

Josie smiled a little, but the lack of a laugh or even a snort was telling. Their city’s sewer system was actually a pretty applicable topic to ask about considering the severity of the storm yesterday…but Josie knew how much Dimitri hated talking about sewers casually, unless they were the location of a secret passage in a roleplay. He’d just…wanted to check in on his friend. 

Like Dimitri was doing for him. 

Nodding a little, encouraging Dimitri to explain his new exploits with Dedan, Josie hummed in interest. “It sounds like you guys can get to the hard-hitting plot points soon, then, now that your characters are together. You’ve gotten really into this new story…I’m glad you’re having fun with it. Change is good sometimes, yeah?”

“Yeah, it is. Sometimes I mess up and I feel myself just recycling traits I had for my prince character, but, you know… it’s getting easier the more I play as her. Victoria has some cool things to explore.” Dimitri said, a soft, happy look on his face. 

“...” but then Dimitri let his expression fall a little, as he admitted, “You kinda look like you got in a fight and lost. Are you okay?”

Josie shared in that soft happiness, truly glad for Dimitri…before he closed his eyes with a deep, shaky sigh. “...had a double feature of seeing my healer and my therapist today. …because I purposefully went out in the storm yesterday, because I knew it’d remind me of the well and…” Another sigh, as Josie forced himself to speak through the shame. “...had a suicidal episode.”

“...could you believe it?” he said, lips twisting up into a self-disgusted smile. “I even ran into Prince Kaito out there. …Mom threatened to sue him into oblivion.”

That was a bit of a mix of emotions. On one hand, Dimitri deflated, hearing Josie had had another episode. But he, a little ashamed of it, had to batter down his interest that Prince Kaito?? Had gotten involved somehow??? They had talked once since the last time, Kaito wanting to hear about the adventures of Victoria, but Dimitri had gotten the sense that Kaito had sort of considered his job done with Dimitri. He had expected to hear less about Kaito in general, now that Arven and Doppio were looking at foster situations and Dimitri had done his apology.

And yet, here he was again.

But that didn’t matter, in comparison to his friend Going Through It, as Dimitri frowned, “I’m glad you’re okay though. How bad was it this time?”

Josie’s brows drew together, his expression pained as he whispered, “Real bad, Dima.”

“Kaito found me on that big hill next to the castle. I…don’t even remember how I got there,” Josie murmured, holding the Horsea figurine close to his heart. “I don’t remember how long I was out there before he showed up. Doc said I was lucky I hadn’t started to develop frostbite. We almost got hit by lightning…”

A shuddering sigh. “...then he took me to a diner, tried to talk me down and all that… Tried to…” Josie groaned, “Manipulate me into telling him everything. I got…mad. Mean. I… Fuck, Dimitri, I even brought up that shit about that Marcus guy you told me about… Those guys are dead, did you know? I fucking brought up Kaito’s dead friends and that was just the middle of everything…”

“I ran out on him, and when he caught up, guy nearly throttled me for…being a suicidal idiot. Then my moms showed up, and…”

Josie’s chest deflated as he closed his eyes even tighter, not wanting to see Dimitri’s expression. “...I’m sorry. I…I know I promised I’d stop…”

Dimitri listened, and tried not to say anything… but his eyes widened slightly in Hyperfixation as he said, “Oh, yeah. That’s actually a crazy story, a bunch of seemingly random people went missing at the same time about a year ago in Luminary? It was some pretty different types of people, and at first everyone thought it was a coincidence, but then someone figured out what they all had in common was Kaito? But that was only confirmed when two of the missing people returned, along with some of the missing party members? It turns out, both groups went missing to that death cult that was a problem here last year and, who tortured them in some unknown place before some defectors basically got a few of them and some of the kids out of there, but none of them can remember more than just that they were tortured at some point and it’s really fascinating how much mystery is still around it considering there are actual witnesses and…”

Dimitri blanched, looking down, embarrassed, “Sorry.”

“And, yeah, you did, but… it’s not like you do this on purpose. You’re just having a bad time right now,” Dimitri said gently, knocking his foot lightly into Josie’s hip, “I’m glad someone showed up to help, even if your moms had to stop him from throttling you. Prince Kaito’s pretty famously scared of death, so I imagine he got pretty, uh, volatile. I hope he didn’t hurt you?”

Josie opened his eyes, listening to…yeah. That sounded crazy. Somehow even more unreal than a lot of the stories he’d heard Dimitri tell about Luminary over the years, but…just like those ones, this did happen to real people so…best not to get carried away. 

“...yeah, me too,” Josie tiredly sighed. “I don’t… I don’t do it on purpose… But there’s always a lot I can do before it gets to this point, and I…didn’t. …doc’s giving me a different mix of my happy pills. Mood dips happen, but…apparently there’s enough funky shit going on with my bloodwork to try a change.”

“He didn’t hurt me, no,” Josie said, grabbing a small pillow from the nest and pulling it towards himself to hold. “Even losing his top, he just shook me around a little and called me stupid.” Something tired went through Josie’s eyes. “...kinda wish he had…but I don’t think Mom would’ve dropped a case, even if it was my fault.”

“I don’t really think it’d have been your fault,” Dimitri frowned, “I mean, he’s the adult, and he’s a prince too. He’s supposed to know how to control himself. And you’re… well, going through stuff. I mean, I know you can get kind of tough to talk to, but you never deserve to be hit.”

“...even when you kind of want to be,” Dimitri smiled warily, “...are you feeling okay now? I could… I could do the thing. If you need me too. The, you know… the anger thing.”

The ‘Angry’ character.

Josie cringed a bit. “...no. I’m not… I’m not okay. But…it’s better. You don’t need to… I promised…”

Josie’s shoulders dropped with a breath as he looked over at his friend. “...maybe that’s all I’m good for. But I don’t want to be so pathetic that a promise from me really does just mean nothing.”

“It’s not that it means nothing. I just…” Dimitri sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. A nervous habit he had trained into himself by accident, refining his character, “you being set back a bit doesn’t mean you’re not trying. I feel like you told me once that setbacks are just a part of this. You’re not feeling to keep your promise, if you're always trying to be better.”

“I think you’re just being too mean to yourself, Josie,” Dimitri said softly, “It’s okay that you faltered a bit. I’m just glad you’re still alive.”

“...man, when did you get so wise? Where’s that little kid who couldn’t figure out why his snowballs kept breaking?” Josie smiled softly, before letting it drop, nudging Dimitri’s leg with his foot. 

“...I am too. Could you imagine? Hugo would have to become a ghost hunter just to track my spirit down and kill me again, before bringing me back to life just to blame me for forcing him into a career he thinks is stupid.” There was a hint of a smile before Josie sighed again. “...I do still want to be here. I love you guys a lot.”

He looked up at Dimitri, eyes growing a little red. “...it’s just really hard sometimes. And I know everyone’s been telling me for years it’s just bullshit and trauma, but… Sometimes it’s hard not to think my father and my brother were right.”

Dimitri frowned a bit, something sad weighing through him. Before he leaned forward, stubbornly scooting himself into Josie’s little nest, flopping down on top of him and resting his head on Josie’s collarbone. 

Dimitri wasn’t entirely certain why, but Josie had never tried to sleep with him. If Dimitri bothered to think about it much, he might start to assume the worst, that there was something unattractive in him that even someone like Josie couldn’t get past… but that wasn’t really how Dimitri felt about it. Josie had just always felt safe, growing up, and Dimitri had never noticed his friend treat him any differently, as they got older and Josie got more into sex in general. It just felt natural that Josie wouldn’t.

Which made it easy for Dimitri to curl up against him, relaxed and present as he said simply, “They weren’t. They were wrong.”

Josie drew in a heavy breath as Dimitri shifted over to him, but there was something grateful in how he put his arms around him, the two of them just comfortably nestled together. “...yeah, I know. If any of it was in question, the damn…legal and social system we live in confirms without a doubt they’re wrong.”

…but despite having that hard confirmation, and everyone telling him since he’d been taken out of that situation…it was still hard. Not to think that the only thing he was worth was knocking someone up one day to pass on his Deity Mark. That he’d won a bullshit lottery that punished everyone else just because they didn’t get lucky. That maybe the best way to correct both those things was just to…take himself out of the equation entirely. 

But everyone telling him that those things were wrong did help. And just because something was hard didn’t mean he wasn’t still trying. Letting out a shuddery breath, he hugged Dimitri tighter for a moment, before settling back. “...I don’t know when I’m coming back to school. We’re all gonna make the effort tomorrow, but…we’ll see what act of that play we’re in as it plays out.”

“I’ll tell everyone,” Dimitri said, listening to Josie’s heartbeat go thump-thump-thump. It was a reassuring sound. His friend was hurting, but he was still here. “Should I tell the others we should come visit?”

Josie thought about it for a moment. His friends visiting would help a lot. They all knew better, himself included, than to let him really wallow in bed for days, and doing little things like sitting by an open window, or just sitting on the porch if he had the energy, and eating delicious food, and spending time with the people he loved really did help pull him up faster. However, trying to force himself to be social when he genuinely didn’t have the battery could sometimes cause burnout that made it all worse. 

So…how was he feeling? Even admitting what had happened to Dimitri, Josie didn’t feel like he was ready for his friend to leave already. So…

“...yeah, that’d be nice,” Josie agreed, making a little circular rub on Dimitri’s back. He flashed him a weak smile. “Maybe play things up for Hugo a little? Say I have a concussion or something, so he doesn’t bring over his sparring equipment and kick my ass. I deserve to be a little pathetic.”

“Mmmmm, I’ll say you were in a great battle, in the eye of the storm, winds and hail creating a great wall around you. It was you against Prince Kaito Momota, who in a moment of fury challenged you to a duel and…”

Dimitri paused, but not for the reasons one might think he’d hesitate, as he suddenly said against Josie’s collarbone, “Didn’t Arven say Kaito gets weird to people in crisis? Everything I’ve heard has suggested Kaito has a tendency to get obsessed with people. So…” Dimitri shrugged, looking a mixture of Hyperfixated and genuinely wary, “...good luck?”

And, tapping his figurine against Josie’s, he said, “You should come to the first chess meeting with the new pokemon figurines. Everyone’s been so excited for it, I’d hate if you missed it.”

Hugo would hate that, but it might just create enough doubt that Josie might be able to get away with just a conversation the first time he came over. And after that…it was to the mental health exercise mines for him. Woe be, having a best friend that cared about him, and also decided every problem could be solved with a swordfight. 

Josie hummed in confirmation at the…other potential problem-solver he’d run into. “He was definitely weird to me in crisis so…yeah. Think all that stuff is spot on. Dunno if my mom threatening to sue him will end up being the right deterrent, but…we’ll see, thanks.”

He smiled softly at the little tap between sheep and seahorse. “I don’t want to miss it either. Our underclassmen have started something really cool, huh. I’ll…” Especially now, promises were difficult, but… “Even if I don’t make it to class, I’ll try to swing by for the club. I can’t wait to see all those little critters lined up next to each other.”

“Hmmm, I agree. The worldbuilding adding in all those little creatures? Especially since within the context of our already established lore, there’s a mystery of who they are, and where did they come from? Are they intelligent? If they are intelligent, are there moral issues we need to confront in using them for battle? Or, if Doppio and Arven’s lore can be taken without complication, can we explore why these creatures would both love of their trainers, and love the thrill of the battle, without any personal investment in the politics behind the battle?” 

Dimitri blinked. Getting out of his head as he said, “It’s interesting, I think. But don’t feel like you have to push yourself.”

Josie smiled fondly as Dimitri pondered upon the lore implications of pokemon. It was always a joy, listening to Dimitri deep-delve into worldbuilding, and not half because he just…seemed so happy doing it. Truly engaged in a craft he was passionate about. When people could get so…stuck and bogged down by the routine minutiae of life, seeing his friend absolutely bursting with creativity was…well, excuse his own dramatics, but Josie felt like it was a reminder that life was supposed to be fun. 

“Thanks, Dima. Always an accomplice I can count on to let me slack off,” Josie grinned. “...I will try, though. Might show up with a sign on my back telling people that I will start crying if anyone decides to bully me.”

“Well, we might have to hit Arven over the head with that sign a few times,” Dimitri admitted, wrapping his arms around Josie and sighing against him, “Arven can be a little mean to you, sometimes. I tried talking to him about it once, but I don’t really think I got anywhere with it. I ended up getting distracted and talking at length about unicorn lore? I think he changed the subject on purpose and I just noticed too late.”

Josie snorted softly, rubbing Dimitri’s back a little more. “I mean, he’s always been kind of acidic. And…it turns out it’s not just me that’s noticed he’s a little jealous. Some part of him thinks I’m going to whisk Doppio off his feet, so he gets defensive, and the guy can be a real porcupine. I don’t really mind…”

Looking at the ceiling for a moment, Josie’s smile faded as he thought. “...well, I might if things are still all…you know. So really driving home that point might be a good idea. It’d be super embarrassing and pathetic if I flipped out on him.”

“Yeah, you get all… grandiose, when you’re stressed out,” Dimitri said, closing his eyes. He liked to hold Josie when his friend was in his ‘maybe just die’ moods, because it was an easy way to say he cared, but the other side of it was that Dimitri had a hard time not wanting to nap when Josie started rubbing his back. It wasn’t like Dimitri held people often. Dedan gave nice hugs. That was about it. “Big and dramatic. You’d make a wonderful campaign villain. It can be kinda tough to break through on.”

“Your flattery knows no bounds,” Josie snorted, taking a fond look at his friend’s relaxed face. “You really mean I become a right bastard when I’m stressed. I’d paint the image of a good villain, but when the confrontation actually came? People would start tapping out when the preamble hits two hours. If I’m pissed enough, I’ll talk circles for hours.”

The only reason he hadn’t kept it up with Kaito yesterday was…because he was trying to be better than that. Even if he was still scum with every other decision. 

“Maybe I’d make a good minor villain to foil Dedan--a lot of his characters tend to be the ‘say only what’s needed’, ‘settle with actions’ types. I don’t mind giving you guys a favor if you need something like that coming up. Just gimme a heads up so I can really nail ‘dramatic’ in costume too.”

Dimitri’s eyes widened, dazzled a bit. “You being a villain foil for Dedan would be so good. That would give Dedan a little room to really lean into his villain potential, but when he reflects on his actions through observing you, to have Hawke realize that there are some lines that really shouldn’t be crossed and that Victoria is…” Dimitri flushed, “Well, I shouldn’t make that sort of character decision for him. I’ll let Dedan know you’re willing to do foil work, thank you Josie.”

“And yeah, you can be mean,” Dimitri shrugged, “...to other people, anyway. You remember when Hugo had a breakdown? I still don’t know what you said that got him sitting naked under a waterfall. That was such an imaginative response to pure rage, I’ve desperately been looking for a way to let one of my characters imitate it.”

“Course, what are friends for,” Josie hummed, snuggling back in some of the pillows. And…it really did feel that simple for him, despite all the complexity that threatened it. So much of the time, he felt like a horrible friend, like he didn’t deserve his friends, like the only reasonable thing to do would be to…be a right bastard, and an irredeemable one, and force everyone around him to leave…

…but he loved them. And Josie would do anything for his friends. So filling roles to provide character growth was par for the course. 

Josie huffed a little, remembering another thing he’d done. “To be honest, I’m not exactly sure just what it was I did either. But thought experiments or sitting down to work through emotions doesn’t work for Hugo, so…had to think physically. …though I’ve definitely been a jerk to you guys too. Remember when you all walked in on me kissing Gene at the Fraldarius’ Unity party? I really thought Irene was going to bury me in the yard, and it was weeks until Hugo said anything to me that wasn’t just some form of yelling, ‘my brother?!’”

Josie chuckled a little. “I’m glad Gene has a good sense of humor about it, at least.”

The elder Fraldarius had always been a troll. The kiss hadn’t actually been anything more than exploration for the both of them, but they had mutually antagonized everyone being obnoxious about moony courting for waaaaay too long. 

Josie had almost cried, when one of the first things he heard after Gene came back from the dead was a joke about reuniting with a lost lover, and Gene hoping that Josie hadn’t already moved on. War injuries be damned, Hugo had almost thrown him out the window.

“How could I forget that? Hugo still talks about it if you put a drink into him,” Dimitri said, listening to that steady thump-thump-thump, “...but he loves you anyway, you know. We all do.”

Closing his eyes, Josie let himself sink, feeling the warmth and pressure of Dimitri on top of him, the slight movement of his chest from breathing. “...I love you guys too. …I know I fucked up, but… I promise. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave.”

-

Kaito was literally a walking puddle when he had returned from the storm yesterday, and, yes, quite a few of the diapers had gotten damaged. But it was actually Kirumi who had shown up and, with her quick-whip efficiency, got Kaito dry and clean-ish and had taken the bag of diapers and, with a wrinkled nose, said, “I will repair these.”

“You can… repair diapers?” Kaito said, still shivering a little. Wondering vaguely if he was gonna end up sick or if that was just an old wives’ tale. 

“Truly, how little faith you have in the working class,” Kirumi had said stiffly, continuing on before Kaito could realize he needed to make some attempt to defend himself, “Yes, now do be along, you’re unsightly right now and the Ouma family does not need the ridicule. Go, go.”

Kaito had gone back upstairs, only to find everyone was taking a nap– lulled to sleep by the sound of the rain– and no one had noticed he was gone for as long as he was. Kaito had taken a shower, gotten dressed, then got undressed and curled into bed with them when he realized it was less ‘a nap’ and his husbands were just going to bed far too early. He’d tell them what happened later…

…and now was later, as Kaito asked while changing Miyako’s diaper, “What does it mean to be ‘sued’ around here?”

Kokichi looked up from the knee-push-ups he was doing on their floor, fitting in a little exercise where he could. It had already been pretty chilly most days, but the storm yesterday had really hit home that it was indoor exercise season…for anything that wasn’t playing in the snow or ice skating, of course. 

Finishing his repetition, Kokichi walked himself back to just sit on his knees as he gave Kaito a curious, mildly worried look. “It…means that you caused a sort of infraction that, instead of being arrested for, someone else takes issue with. Ideally no one would threaten to sue if they didn’t think they had a strong case, but…yeah, it means that they think that they can prove in court that you were in the wrong, and thus owe some kind of recompense. Usually money, in those cases… And sometimes, if you don’t want to deal with getting the courts involved, you can just do a settlement and work out a payment between you…”

Trailing off, Kokichi warily asked, “...why do you ask?”

“Ooooh, do we have a clean Miya now? All nice and baby powdered?” Kaito coo’d to his daughter, clasping the diapers shut and then promptly playing with her feet, tapping little rhythms as she gamely kicked her own rhythms back, “...uh, okay, so I just haven’t had a chance to mention this yet, but I had a small incident yesterday… it’s fine. I think it’s fine. We’re not getting sued, but I did get a warning yesterday.”

Looking over to his husband– being cool, doing his exercises, so sexy– Kaito grinned a little sheepishly, “I got nervous we didn’t have enough diapers yesterday? Like, I don’t know, if there was a flood or some sort of landslide and we were all trapped or something… I just got it into my head we needed more diapers. So, I stepped out briefly to get some more diapers! Annnnnd I found this kid, like, one of Arven’s friends? Out there sobbing on the hill by the park. Anyway, he was really upset, and there was, like… lightning and fire and stuff, it all ended up fine, not a big deal.”

“But I took the kid to a diner to try to talk to him, and I lost control of the conversation, and then he ran out into the rain again, and he said he was suicidal, and then he went and hugged a fish murder horse, and I got very upset and shouted at him and maybe grabbed him a little… okay, I grabbed him a little, and shouted, but he ran out into the rain and straight towards a murder horse! I didn’t know kelpies were a thing, and there he is, petting it all, ‘I want to die, time to throw myself at death again!’” Kaito said, his face turning red in irritation as he ran a hand through his hair, Miyako rocking on her back as she valiantly tried to get onto her hands and knees to go crawling around now that she was freshly clean and ready to go, “And, anyway, I was mad at him, and shouting, and then his moms showed up and he started crying which was very not fair by that point… yeah, his mom threatened to sue me. She was huge too. Like, intimidating big. Very pretty. She said she wouldn’t because I didn’t leave him to die on the hill, or told on him, or something.”

Kokichi stared wide-eyed at Kaito. That was…a lot to take in. 

Getting up, he went to Kaito’s side, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “You went out in the storm? Oh, hun, that’s so dangerous… I’m glad you’re alright, but…please don’t do that again. If something happened to you out there, and we didn’t know where you were…” Kokichi sighed. 

He closed his eyes and leaned against Kaito’s side, wrapping his arms around him to hold him close. “...I wish you would talk to us. It’s lucky that you found that kid… Maybe he would’ve gotten out alright, even in an episode, but…it’s better that he had help. My Kai-chan wants to help people, that’s a good thing, it’s something I admire a lot…but I love a safe Kai-chan too, and one that isn’t stressing himself out into…yelling and shaking suicidal kids who do dumb things.”

Leaning back, Kokichi ran his hands down Kaito’s arms to take his hands, squeezing them gently. “...you’re okay?”

“Sorry, I got really into my own head. It was a whole… you know how I used to compulsively check the rooms at night?” Kaito explained, leaning into Kokichi’s hold, accommodatingly picking Miyako up and moving her onto her front when she started to get frustrated at her lack of progress rolling over. She’d get there someday, “It was one of those moments. Like if I didn’t, something terrible was gonna happen. I probably should have told you guys and just forced myself to take a nap instead.”

“And I’m okay…” Kaito paused, watching Miyako now valiantly trying to crawl, his daughter excited and active today, just like her daddy. Kaito watched her, before groaning, leaning against Kokichi more and squeezing his hands back, before pulling his arms up and around his neck to encourage Kokichi to hug him, “Auuuugh, he got into my head a little. Just a little bit, but yeah, it was sad and I was sad and then it got scary and there was a weird sea murder horse that the kid was unsurprised by so he’s got magic stuff going on and his mom was big and I think he stopped lightning from hitting me or something and Kirumi took the diapers I worked so hard to get and my friends are dead and the world thinks its soooo clever that it killed them.”

Kaito grit his teeth for a moment, his eyes watering… before he huffed, forcing the tension out of him, “I dunno… he seemed like he was really struggling, ‘Kichi. I don’t even think I could help. I think he was just having fun watching me try.”

“A nap might’ve helped…but we could’ve talked through other ways to address your anxiety too,” Kokichi said, smiling fondly as he watched Miyako make strides on her crawling progress. Buff baby~ “You’re not alone…and I hate thinking about you putting yourself in danger to satisfy that anxiety. The reason why people were making those emergency notices in the first place was because being out in a storm that strong is dangerous! So they were trying to give people enough heads up to prepare to not have to be in that storm!”

“...I will circle back on the kelpie at some point, I’m not just ignoring that, by the way, but…there are just more important things to address,” Kokichi promised in a mumble before he took the invitation and hugged Kaito firmly, swaying his body a little, though it was up to Kaito to move along with him for that motion to do anything. He took a few moments just to breathe, just for them to be together in each others’ arms. 

“...I hate seeing my people struggle, and I know you do too. Seeing someone in a bad place, in a dangerous situation… You’re really my Kai-chan, helping him out. Getting him to a safer place.”

“...but as much as you want to? As much as you’re my great hero…it’s not your responsibility to save people.” Kokichi looked up at his husband, sadness in his seriousness. “I’m not saying you should ignore people in pain, I’m not saying you should give up on people…but it’s not your duty to save them. Especially when saving them causes you so much pain. I don’t want you to be a martyr, Kai-chan, I love you too much.”

“...if his moms were protective enough to threaten to sue you, then they’ve probably gotten their son help. This seems like a particularly horrible stumble for him, and for it to be your introduction…but you don’t know the full story, and so…I think you’re right. I don’t think you could’ve helped, only with the little bit you knew. With him hurting you so much, I think you could’ve made things worse, trying to save him with the little bit you knew.”

“...but you got him to a safe place, and got him to his parents. So you did your part in helping him. Okay?”

But he was one of mine…

Kaito sighed, nodding softly as he stared into his littlest husbands eyes. Kokichi was being stern. There was no room for argument there, and Kaito knew Kokichi was right anyway. It hurt, but… “I understand, ‘Kichi. And I know I can’t really risk getting into real trouble. I’m your prince-consort, I don’t want to embarrass you by getting sued for harassing teenagers. That’d be, just, ludicrously stupid. I’ve already pushed my luck enough with Doppio and Arven. It’s becoming a really dumb habit, and it’s astonishing it hasn’t led to disaster for me yet. I just… started with Maki and Shuichi and it’s been so hard to stop since.”

“But this time was different. I could tell. This kid could destroy me for fun, and he might.” Kaito admitted, looking away, ashamed, “I didn’t even get close to getting him to open up, ‘Kichi. He was just playing with me, and me playing along only made him more vicious about it. He’s not like Doppio and Arven, or you, or my sidekicks… but, god, it feels awful to back off because of that. To just let him hurt himself because he’s got blades and sharp edges… but I’m not. I’m doing it because you’re right, and he’s already got help, and I already did my part, and I could have just made it worse when I don’t need to be a part of it at all.”

Kaito looked warily at Kokichi, “Right? That’s everything?”

Kokichi sighed. “It’s not about embarrassing me. It’s not really even about being sued. It’s about you pushing people to their limit, so they utilize the laws that were made to protect them. It’s about you wanting to save people so badly that you hurt them to do it. And…that’s an awful position for both of you. Because it’s not like they don’t notice what you’re doing, they recognize that you want to help. And because you’re my good Kai-chan, you make friends. And friends don’t want to sue or get their friends arrested…but they have enough self-respect not to let themselves be hurt either. It’s why Doppio-kun keeps getting into horrible arguments with you--to him, that’s the better alternative to defend himself than using his lawful rights against you.”

“This child… I don’t know what happened. He might do this for fun…but in my experience, people in the middle of suicidal episodes aren’t exactly focused on what makes them feel good.” Kokichi took a breath. “He likely…just isn’t as attached to you. Doesn’t know you as well. So he’s more willing to do whatever he can to protect himself from your help.”

“...and if I’m honest? As much as it’s a quality I like in you, and what helped me fall in love with you? I really don’t think a child should be sharing their deepest troubles and thoughts with, more or less, a stranger. You want him to open up, so you can help him…but opening up without the safety net of being in therapy, or being with people you trust, is really scary, and really dangerous, especially for someone that’s suicidal. Sharing his vulnerabilities with you could have gotten him killed, Kai-chan.”

Sighing again, eyes growing a little wet, Kokichi rested his forehead on Kaito’s chest. “...not to mention you could’ve been killed. You almost got hit by lightning?! You saw a creature that’s an omen of death?! More than anything…I care about you. I don’t want you to die! No one is alone, we are all a community here, so…yes, I think, by being an adult in the community he lives in, you will be able to help that kid, hun. But I don’t want to worry about your literal life in the process. And it scares me if that’s something you wouldn’t worry about either.”

Kaito hadn’t felt like he was going to die. The lightning had been surprising, and the fire pretty. The hill painful. The rain cold and annoying. The death horse just… there. Dangers to Josie, certainly. All of it a serious danger to Josie: he was chasing the lightning, the fire could spread, the hill could break his neck, the rain could consume him, and if the horse was there to herald death, then of course it was going for the child that wanted to die. 

But Kaito was not in danger of dying. Death always seemed to be racing to take the people around him. And Kaito could just stand in the middle of the carnage and be… fine. Everytime.

But… Kaito could recognize that was its own type of madness. He could have died falling out of the tree with Doppio. He could have died when the pollen was ravaging his body. He could have died when a death cult was literally after them.

But it always felt like someone else’s danger. And Kaito was just hurling himself between death and its actual target. And death always stopped just in time, seeing the person wasn’t actually there. Just Kaito.

Kaito was terrified of death. He didn’t really think he was going to die.

“Sorry, babe,” Kaito frowned, recognizing how messed up that mentality was. “I’m sorry. It’s hard to notice when I’m in danger, but, yeah, you’re right. And… you’re right, I shouldn’t pry about some random kids trauma. I don’t want to hurt him by accident. I understand. Yesterday was a mistake. I should have just taken him home.”

Kokichi squeezed Kaito tight for a moment, before looking up with teary eyes. “...we try to be better than our mistakes of yesterday, right? We learn, we grow, we make mistakes…but we don’t let them make us give up. And with every bit, we’re better.”

Standing on his toes, Kokichi kissed Kaito’s cheek. “...it sounds like they consider things settled, but…help during a hard time helps, right? Do you know the kid’s name? We could make up a care package. It’s too much to demand to be brought up on the situation…but letting people know that we’re willing to lend a hand, that we care about our neighbors is nice to know, just on sentiment alone.”

“...also, I think Shuu-chan would adore picking your brain about the kelpie, and he might with the kid too.”

Kaito smiled, warmed and soothed by his husbands affections, bending accommodatingly for his kiss, “Josie. Arven would know his last name. Okay, a care package is probably at least a decent peace offering. And yeah, our Shuichi’s gonna love the murder horse situation. Actually, you should pick that memory out of my head, babe. It was pretty, it could make a nice painting.”

Hugging Kokichi, Kaito said, “Thank you. For the good advice and your understanding. I know you don’t mind if I embarrass you, but… I mind. I just want to be someone you can be proud of, beautiful. I know you are proud of me, but… I get overzealous and weird. Thank you for not being unkind about it.”

Kaito’s hand suddenly shot out, picking Miyako up by the back of her onesie as her crawling got her near the edge of the diaper changing table. Miyako gargled and made nonsense baby sounds as Kaito brought her up into the air like a kicking kitten, before resting her on his shoulder and patting her on the butt a bit as she started to chew on his shoulder, drooling immediately, “You’re a great husband, Kokichi. I really do depend on you. Love you, beautiful.”

-

It was bullshit, is what it was. 

Sure, Bianka wouldn’t actually phrase it like that, not to Mr. Cendril’s face, and not to her sisters later, but…it was. She usually didn’t mind book reports thaaaaaat much, and she did agree with Mr. Cendril’s reasoning that media literacy was an important skill to cultivate and exercise! In a world full of words, you had to be able to spot something fishy in otherwise reasonable prose…and have the maturity to tell when your gut-feeling of ‘wrong’ was more of a sign of needing to reevaluate your beliefs. 

All that was fine! But for her teacher to have the audacity to tell her she couldn’t use a non-fiction book for this project?!? What…balderdash! They had to find novels that, in some measure, were trying to pass on morals through metaphor, and then examine that in their report. Non-fiction works could be morally based!! Nothing was free from bias, and it would be so much more compelling to dissect blatant assumptions based on the author’s personal morals!!!

But no. 

So it was with a haughtily disdainful look--and certainly not a pout--that Bianka roamed the bookshelves of the city library on their field trip. …and no, she hadn’t gotten lost, she just…wanted to see if there were any good books worth her personal time to check out outside of the project! She wasn’t stalling!

But even these archived magazines couldn’t bring her any cheer from the sheer--

“Oh!”

Bianka quickly stepped back, having nearly walked right into a boy crouched down, looking at the shelves. Clearly her fault, considering his rather bright clothes. 

“Sorry, my bad.” …he certainly wasn’t part of their class, but…he looked her age, and she didn’t notice any other classes taking a similar field trip. “...hey, ar--”

“Watch it,” the boy snapped, tone sharp, though his voice was rather high and whiny. 

It was pure coincidence that Timothy was literally in the other aisle, just… dying. His head leaning back as he stared miserably at the ceiling, while his dad tried to insist to him that Toko Fukawa’s work was a type of morality tale. “It’s the morals of romance with a prisoner, where the power dynamics are wildly disproportionate and, assuming the mermaid even really did understand what was happening, can he really consent in the situation even if he does want it…? But!”

Kaito’s eyes sparkled as he looked down at the book, trying to explain to his son, “Does refusing him even that level of self agency and autonomy take away the little humanity that the book was willing to give him? Do his life circumstances really mean you can dismiss the small choices he does have as being worthless? Or does painting him as a mindless puppet simply make it easier to superimpose all the personality traits you think someone ought to have in an ideal force of will, specifically the traits that you yourself, as someone outside of his circumstance and unable to empathize with the bindings in his life, have and expect that any reasonable person would share. And, and! Does the fact that Toko Fukawa clearly doesn’t actually consider his perspective in the narrative at all say something about the point of view character, or, does it say something about Toko Fukawa herself, and whether or not she even considered his perspective and agency as even worth exploring in the narrative–”

“Kaito?” Shuichi frowned, looking up from the middle-school style fiction books down the aisle, “...are you trying to convince Tim to read an adult erotic book for his school book report?”

“No! That would be… no! He asked which book I would pick if I was doing the report! I was just explaining why!” Kaito shouted, holding the book to himself and hurrying over to Shuichi, “W-why, did you find something he might like?”

“Kaito, he’s supposed to pick his own book anyway, I was just looking at some of his options. Toko Fukawa is not age appropriate–”

Timothy blinked, phasing back in as he realized the long, boring lecture was suddenly done, just in time to hear Bianka’s voice, along with… some kid? Acting like a dick?

Moving around the aisle, Timothy peeked in to confirm it was Bianka, before stepping up behind the shorty. “You watch it.”

The kid looked up, bright blue eyes somehow both clashing and perfectly complementing the witheringly dry look he gave Tim. “Watch what, dumbfuck? Everything around me in 360 degrees while I’m staying still? Yeah, I’ll get right on developing monocularism, just for you.”

“Hey, easy,” Bianka placated, taking a step back and holding her hands up. “Tim, it’s alright, I did run into him. Just…I’ve never seen you around before, are you part of another school trip, or…?”

The boy turned to glare at her again. “Hell no, like I would be caught dead. Now fuck off, libraries are supposed to be quiet.” Though, he really was the one being the loudest. 

Bianka crossed her arms. “You apologize to my friend, then sure.” …not a total truth, but even a hot-head couldn’t get away with calling Tim names like that without any recourse. 

The kid wrinkled his nose in disgust and confusion. “For what? Looking like he’s about to heave hay bales?”

Timothy had no idea what it meant that was about to ‘heave hay bales’. Did that mean he looked like a stableboy? That was a little annoying, yes, because he was a soldier and Timothy liked to think even now he still looked it. 

But mostly, he was annoyed this kid was being mean to Bianka. Bianka was cool, Tim really enjoyed her company. She deserved to be treated nicely.

So Tim punched the kid in the face.

In the space of Bianka’s gasp--more for dramatic effect that truly being startled, really--the kid reeled back for a moment, blinking in shock… Before a wicked, delighted grin broke his face. 

Mike hadn’t run away from home. That term had far too many connotations that either made him stupid or pitiable. He was just…tired. Tired of the same day, over and over, with the same people outside his window doing their miserable routines, too unextraordinary and mediocre to ever actually be anything. 

So he just respected himself enough to leave. Maybe find something that could hold his attention for more than five seconds. But…while some things in Usott were kinda cool, he guessed…he was still so…angry. All the time. That hadn’t changed. And while Mike usually didn’t give a fuck, he had been a little more careful, but that just left him itching to do something, hands twitching and scratching…

And this?

“Oh, finally,” Mike sneered with that grin, before he pounced on Tim. 

“Oh fuck!” Bianka said a little more seriously this time, as she joined the fray as well, going in elbows first. 

It was a terrible fury and flurry of shoves, knocked elbows, and a few punches that accidentally ended up being more wrist slaps than anything, Tim on his back as he growled and tried to knee Mike off while Bianka kinda pinned Mike on top of him, throwing herself onto the pile. 

As the three kids loudly tried to beat the crud out of each other, Shuichi peeked over first, sighed, leaned back and simply called out, “Kaito. Your son’s in a fight.”

“WHAT?!” 

Timothy had just gotten the kid into a headlock– wincing as the kid started to bite his arm, ow-ow-ow– before he suddenly felt a hand on his shirt, pulling him out of the pile. Timothy hung in the air as the kid hung in the air opposite of him, as Kaito shouted, “Shuichi, grab Bianka!”

“Bianka, you’re grabbed,” Shuichi said idly, wandering over to the aisle and looking at some more books that had caught his eyes.

“What the hell is going on!?” Kaito demanded at the kids, “I turned my back for one minute! What the hell could have happened in a minute!?”

Mike hadn’t exactly loosened his jaw when he was suddenly yanked up and away, but any blood that might’ve been in his mouth would’ve been negligible compared to the blood starting to trickle out of one of his nostrils, one of his cheeks already starting to swell. It almost made the bruises under his eyes actually fade into the background. 

Two on one was already unfavorable odds, but…even against just Tim, Mike was not going to be the one winning that fight. Even so, there was a wild, almost manic glee in his eyes…until he was pulled away, and he snarled, “DON’T TOUCH ME, YOU OAF!” his legs thrashing in…almost an awkwardly cartwheeling manner that Bianka found a little odd, in the back of her mind. However, the momentum was nothing in Kaito’s grasp. 

Having moved away at Shuuichi’s words, Bianka dusted herself off and puffed her chest. “I’m backing up my friend!”

“I was minding my fucking business, just fuck off!”

Tim didn’t say anything. Just pointedly looked away when Kaito shot him a look, waiting for his explanation. 

“Uh huh. You and I are having a very serious conversation tonight, Timothy,” Kaito said pointedly, Tim still refusing to look affected as Kaito finally let him down, Tim just huffing and crossing his arms as he looked away from them. “And you! Watch your mouth, kid, you can start cursing like that when you start growing hair on your face. Where are your parents?” Kaito asked, a very recent lesson of ‘Find the parents’ fresh on his mind as he looked around, putting the other kid down as well, “We’re having this conversation with them, since I don’t believe for a second my Tim’s gonna just fight someone for no reason.”

“Timothy, do you have your knife on you?” Shuichi asked, glancing away from his books.

Tim’s lips tightened… before he nodded. 

“Well, that’s an improvement then,” Shuichi told Kaito with a small smile. Kaito refused to answer. Okay, yes, it was good that Timothy not just straight up stabbing a guy was an improvement! But also, geez, Shuichi, don’t tell the others that! Timothy hadn’t tried to stab anyone in months! Leave it alone!

“Whatever,” Mike huffed, before swinging again, something a little more pointed in his shake. “Now get your mitts off me! My parents aren’t here, save your breath for a blowjob.”

Bianka’s eyebrows raised a little before she frowned. “...I did run into him, but I apologized! He just…” She frowned a little more, squinting between Kaito and Shuuichi. “...this is a quote, so I can’t get in trouble--he called Tim a ‘dumbfuck’ and wouldn’t apologize.”

Mike scoffed so hard it almost sounded like he dislodged something. “Is that it?? I’m sorry, whatever; now go suck an egg.”

….Kaito’s eyes widened. Practically sparkling. Save your breath… for a blowjob? That was such a good insult. Holy shit. He wanted to use that one, how had he never heard that one before– “No!”

Kaito caught Timothy before the kid could jump on the smaller kid again, a truly frustrated look on Timothy’s face as Kaito forcibly pulled the two boys farther away from each other. “Cool your jets, kid.”

“Jets?” Shuichi asked, shaking his head before refocusing at the task in hand, “Kaito, just let him go and send him on his way. He’s rude, yes, but that’s not a crime. And remember what we all just talked about? No more kidnappings?”

Kaito pouted, looking a little put out… before he let go of the smaller kid. “Good on you for apologizing, kid, but you’d spare yourself a lot of trouble in the future watching your language. Though, Tim, we don’t hit people just because they call us a bad name either. Apologize.”

Timothy stared blankly at nothing. Face firm and impassive.

“Oh, are you serious… Timothy Harukawa, if you don’t apologize, tonight’s gonna be more than a lecture. I’m serious kid, just apologize, you’re in the wrong here.”

“...” Timothy crossed his arms harder and looked away, “He’s a dumbass.”

“Alright, well, great! Now we’re going home and I gotta spend my day figuring out how to discipline you! That’s just how our day is going now!” Kaito huffed, before pointing to Bianka, “Bianka, you here with anyone? Go back to them, I’m not turning back for you and this kid to just start fighting again. And Tim’s about to go home… unless you want to apologize now?”

Tim said nothing. Kaito groaned. These kids were gonna give him an aneurysm. 

While he was very quickly losing the good sense not to attack the guy still holding him… Jets? Like…jetstream? Like high-speed, long-distance air travel? A slightly puzzled, intrigued look passed over Mike’s face, before the disinterested sneer returned as he was let go, Mike hiding any amount of stumbling there may or may not have been. 

Though he just rolled his eyes again. “Hey Beloved Leader, I don’t need a damn apology. Seriously, just leave me alone.” …he wasn’t (gag) being sympathetic or anything. He just really didn’t need an apology, and some poor sap didn’t need to be drugged by Daddy tonight to make some bullshit point. He was just standing by basic principles. …though, he couldn’t resist a sarcastic, “Whoa there, people are going to start thinking you’re condoning random violence, incentivizing leaving school early.”

Again, Bianka gave the kid a curious glance (uh…the blood from his nose was starting to drip off his chin and…no one was doing anything) before nodding sheepishly at Kaito. “We…are on a field trip, Mr. Prince Tim’s Dad. I’m here with Mr. Cendril, I guess? I can go, but…”

Drawing herself up with a huff, she pointed at the scrawny kid. “What’s your name?!”

He just squinted at her in befuddlement, fixing his hat. This wasn’t some weird fae contract, they were all using names, so… “...Mike. Mike Teavee. Is that it, or…?”

Kaito blinked in owlish confusion… before he cursed, “Shoot, right. Field trip.”

“Forgot why we were here?” Shuichi asked, amused. 

“No! …yes, but okay, shoot,” Kaito muttered, looking around warily. He had volunteered for a field trip chaperone at the PTA meeting he had gone to, about a week ago, but admittedly when Timothy had asked him about going to the city library today Kaito had forgotten all about it and just assumed his kid needed help picking a book. Couldn’t anyone have given him a heads up? Oh, shoot, THAT was why there were so many kids here. OOOOOH, shit, was Kaito supposed to be watching all of these kids!?

As Kaito looked around, increasingly alarmed at the sudden awareness of Many Children that he was currently responsible for– why hadn’t he seen Kimiko and Cali yet? That was a bad sign– Shuichi rolled his eyes a little, before giving the boy a cool look. “Mike Teavee? Nice to meet you, young man. You know, you’re starting to drip blood onto the floor. Why don’t we go get you cleaned up before a librarian loses their mind on us, yes? Let’s go to the bathroom.”

Oh no way. Mike wasn’t having it. No way someone who knew about jetstreams and hypothetical aircrafts would literally forget why they were in a library full of kids. Mike knew idiots, and his radar was sounding the fuck off. Though, perhaps uncharacteristically calmly, he just rolled his eyes before glancing down at the floor with a claret smile. “Damn, it was just starting to look cool.”

Without aplomb, he wiped his nose (and face, at this point) with the sleeve of his bright orange hoodie, uncaring about the drip that just slowly started up again. “Clean. Now?? Can you oxygen-wasters move so I can get back to these?” He made an impatient gesture towards the magazine shelves. 

Bianka didn’t need to be told twice, she was heading back to Mr. Cendril (and out of the non-fiction area that she wasn’t really meant to be looking in anyway), but her mind was far from books. Teavee…huh? It wasn’t like Bianka knew everyone in the city, by sight or by name…but she was working on it! And Teavee had a catchy sound to it--she definitely would’ve remembered coming across it before. 

Hm, was this the start of an intrigue piece? A Jerk Conjured From Air… Forget picking out a book, she had some records to fill up reading time today.

Kaito watched Bianka go, before squinting down at Timothy. “You’re still in trouble, kid, even if we can’t just leave right now…also, where are Kimiko and Cali?”

“Don’t know.” Timothy shrugged.

“Don’t know, or not supposed to say?” Kaito asked.

Timothy said nothing. Kaito groaned, suddenly looking around desperately. He’d just… check the vents first.

Shuichi watched Kaito stalk off, looking for the girls and dragging Timothy with him. Shuichi then looked down at the boy, face smeared with blood, and crossing his hands over his waist said, “I’m going to insist you go wash your hands before touching the magazines.”

Then, glancing at the magazines in question, Shuichi raised an eyebrow. “Ah, another science fiction-type then.”

Mike just ignored the placid request, looking through the side labels as he had been before that girl had come over…before he twitched, turning back to glare at Shuuichi. “This isn’t fiction. For one, smartass, these outline inventions that have already been made, but even looking at the theories, none of it is outlandish. Like…”

Pulling a magazine at random, Mike hardly glanced at the cover page before brandishing it. “Sure, we’ll never see teleportation in our lifetime, but that’s not because it’s impossible or magic. You just need a fuckton of energy, more than nitroglycerine, like…” Mike stammered for a moment, his brain working faster than his mouth and the words tripping to get out. “L-like you’d need to figure out the techniques and ability to harness splitting atoms to get to that point, but it’s not fiction.”

“I see…” Shuichi said, taking out a handkerchief and taking the magazine from Mike’s hand, deftly cleaning the blood off of it, putting it aside, before grabbing Mike’s hand next. Quickly wiping it off, as he called out, “Kaito? What does it mean to split atoms?”

Huh?” Kaito poked his head out of a supply closet nearby, where he had found one of the vent entry points and had managed to get his face covered in dust double checking that the vents weren’t ‘children sized’. “What, uh, I mean, we’re talking nuclear fission? Um, basically ya smash the damn thing and when it cracks into two parts there’s this big, like, BOOM of heat that gets released from the pressure snapping? Like, imagine an explosion and then imagine a bigger explosion, and then, like, whatever you imagined? Ten times the size of that. Potentially crazy dangerous, but also suuuuuper full of potential and– wait, oh, shit, I see them. Girls! Girls, walking on top of the shelves is dangerous– oh they’re trying to get to the support beams.”

Kaito bolted as he realized what the girls were doing, Timothy following him out of the closet, hands in his pockets, before glancing over at Mike and Shuichi. “You missed a spot, Uncle Shuichi.”

“Ha ha, very funny, Tim,” Shuichi sighed, not having even tried wiping Mike’s face off yet, just focusing on his hands for now, “There, they’re clean. No one will tut at you for touching the magazines now. And I suppose you do have a genuine interest in them, if you weren’t just making things up.”

Mike growled a bit as Shuuichi took the magazine and snatched his hand, threatening a good few things if the man kept touching him, but…he was soon distracted. Eyes widening a bit in incredulity at the absolute baby-level but still??? Technically correct? Explanation of the kind of energy that…well, yeah, nuclear fission held. 

…no way. There was no way…

Discomfort blooming as anger across his swollen face, Mike scoffed as he roughly pulled away. “What, like no one can read unless they’re a die hard fanatic? Of course I’m interested; I wouldn’t be wasting my time here otherwise.”

“I thought you might be just looking to ruin some magazines,” Shuichi shrugged, watching Timothy re-approach them, “Tim, are you going to cause problems?”

“No.” Tim said.

“...good enough for me.” Shuichi shrugged, heading off to go back to looking at the books that were interesting him. “I’ll be over here if you need me. Don’t need me.”

Timothy watched his uncle wander off and glanced over to see his dad now discussing with Mr. Cendril how to convince Kimiko and Cali to get down from the rafters, while Bianka shouted encouragement from below and more and more kids came to look at the spectacle. Not having been interested in getting to the roof of the library like they were– that was his friends’ goal that day– Timothy looked back at Mike.

“...you’re a dick.”

Condescending dumbass. Mike could do both. The ripped pages folded in his pockets claimed he already did. 

Rolling his eyes, Mike adjusted his glasses and turned back to the magazines…but he still wasn’t alone. 

“And you’re a nosy, spoiled princeling cunt, if we’re stating the obvious,” Mike said with monotone indifference…before smirking a bit. “With a hell of a right hook. That’s gonna sting for a few days.”

“I’m not a prince, and you’re an idiot,” Tim said, tilting his head slightly at him, “You’re not in our class. Did you skip school to sneak to a library?”

Mike gave Tim a brief, dry look over his shoulder. “That was your dad, and you called the other guy ‘uncle’, didn’t you? They’re princes. You’re a prince.” 

Pulling out an issue, Mike frowned slightly, though it was offset by the gleam of genuine interest in his eyes as he…did a weird little shuffle before settling on his knees, opening the magazine to read. “I’m not in school, it’d just waste my time. If I need to know something,” he gestured to the building around them without taking his eyes off the magazine, “it’s insultingly easy to figure out how to get it. I don’t need a babysitter to pass out coloring sheets.”

“I bet you suck at coloring then,” Tim said, leaning against the magazine rack, looking curiously down at him, “I bet you can’t even color inside the lines, and you don’t know what the colors are called, or what a book is. I bet you’re pretending to read that right now because otherwise I’d know you can’t read and you’d go outside and cry about it.”

“...so what are you reading about anyway, then?” Tim asked.

“Oh what, you an artiste? I strike a nerve, calling a useless trade you’ll never break even on useless?” Almost…surprisingly, Mike felt a small grin break out on his face, though he never stopped soaking up the information from the magazine. “You’re right, these specs are just for show--I wouldn’t know the difference between an ampersand and an interrobang.”

Ever so briefly, blue eyes glanced up, before the smile faded into indifference. “...why do you care?”

Tim had no idea what an ampersand or an interrobang was, and half suspected the kid was just making up words to fuck with him. But… if it was a joke, it was kinda funny. And if it wasn’t, it was kinda interesting. 

And more importantly, Tim had fought him. That was a bit of a bonding activity in Luminary. When Kaito glanced over to see Timothy tentatively chatting with the short kid, he wasn’t surprised, and immediately went back to desperately trying to dissuade now more children from following Kimiko and Cali’s footsteps. It was a rebellion! No, you do NOT get to negotiate not doing the book report! This is not a strike! 

“I guess I don’t.” Tim shrugged. “I just wanted to see how far you’d go to pretend you can read. Also, the machinery stuff looks confusing,” Tim admitted, frowning at the blueprints the magazine was showing off, “Does… that make sense to you?”

Mr. Cendril, though not unsympathetic to how frazzled Kaito was getting, was highly amused. Oh, his class wanted to organize a strike, did they? Well, they should all know, they went over strikes in class. They wanted to withhold their labor to achieve a goal with bargaining power, a noble cause. However…a lot of preparation went into organizing a strike, so if that’s the path they were taking…

That…did make a few students hesitate. A book report was easier than coming up with a union proposal…

Raising an eyebrow, Mike scoffed as he shuffled over, giving Tim a better view of the blueprints on the page he was open to, not that it’d help him understand it any. “Of course I do, I’m a genius. Look, these are just power transmitters for the phone lines. Electricity travels fast, especially in a good conductor, like the copper we have in the cables, but the real trick is in directing that movement. Just one receiver to another would be simple enough, but making it so any phone can call any other?”

As he spoke, Mike’s already quick tempo only sped up, his fingers fidgeting with the magazine pages as he shifted his weight between his knees. “You could just set up a wire from every phone to every other one, if you wanted to make an electrical death cube blocking out the sky, which would be metal as fuck,” he stammered out, barely taking a breath, before nodding to the blueprints, “But the actual way it works, this page says, is that there’s a constant electrical loop between the t-towers, between these transmitters, and any outgoing call taps into that - that loop, and then exits where it needs to, and that just keeps going back and forth--using a constant source of power to make the calls rather than from receiver t-to receiver.”

Timothy frowned, listening as Mike continued to rant and gush, and really only figuring out what he was talking about by the end of the rant. “Oh. You mean the telephones. Yeah, the castle has a telephone room, and it’s connected to one of those tower things. You could see it if you were willing to climb up onto the roof.”

As the kids all explained to Kaito what the heck a union proposal was– “Wait, so, unions are like… the employees make their own company? Separate from the company? Wait, does the castle have a union?”-- Timothy rocked back and forth on his heels a bit. “You don’t seem the graceful type though. You’d probably fall and die.” 

For a moment, Mike’s eyes gleamed. He could get his hands on a power transmitter? Or…a main receiving transmitter, o-or energy bank, if it was at the castle. He’d learned enough to know there was a main switchboard in the castle, but he had yet to figure out the gaps in the guards’ rotations to go see it himself… But the transmitter on the roof?

…Mike…wasn’t very good at climbing. He supposed that he might actually have an advantage right now, but…as humiliating as it was, he was still figuring out the whole ‘bipedal’ thing. And he had never exactly been graceful or athletic with four legs either. 

…and everything still hurt. He’d figured there had been some good reason centaur-only villages were still around, but…Mike hadn’t been expecting the pain. Every time he activated the beaststone he’d stolen it was like someone was snapping his back into little pieces, and his legs felt so wobbly and weird…

…but hearing Tim say exactly all that?

Mike spat, right on the bit of his blood that had made it into the carpet. “Bet. I bet I could make it up and even rewire the transmitter to make it run even faster. Not like you’d know even the first thing to do even if you made it up there.”

Timothy raised an eyebrow, before glancing over at his friends– it had rapidly gotten distracted into basically a lesson for the Luminary Prince, the other kids explaining enthusiastically how strikes and unions worked while his father did that thing he did where he gasped and looked bewildered in just the right way– and considered how interesting it might be to see that…

…interesting enough. “Bet,” Tim agreed, “Meet tonight? Can you get away from your parents after dinner, or does it have to be before?”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Like I care what they’re doing--what’s the best time for avoiding the guards? They have so much overlap during shift changes I haven’t found the gaps yet.”

…he couldn’t give a fuck what Doris was doing. Probably happy to drink herself to oblivion now that he was gone. Pff, she probably just thought he was still in his room. It’s not like he ever left anyway. Maybe she’d be happier using ‘nighty-night juice’ on herself for once. 

“Guards having gaps in their shift is a myth they use for storytelling,” Tim said, “Just meet me at the gate. I’ll get us where we’re going.”

He was a prince about as much as Tim was an assassin… which to him basically meant the same thing. He was enough of either to get basically anywhere he wanted to go. “My friends might be there too, if my dad doesn’t literally bury them in a hole for trying to start a strike in the rafters with the other kids. He probably won’t, but he threatens it a lot.”

“No security is perfect,” Mike countered. 

Though, he did glance over at the kids in the rafters and halfway up the bookcases. “...that’s unique, I guess. Bet he has to rely on creativity, since efficiency seems to be lacking.”

“Don’t make fun of my dad,” Tim said immediately, “...but yeah, he hasn’t really figured out what ‘punishments’ mean for me yet. He probably is gonna just lecture me for a while, and then make me clean something. Then mom’s gonna find out and she’ll make me workout a lot. That’ll be my actual punishment.”

“Why, or you’ll punch me again?” Mike asked, smirking. But then he just shook his head a little, looking somewhere between indifferent and surprised. He never really paid that much attention, but parents that actually tried to punish their kids? And having it work?? Wild. 

“Ugh, that sounds like it,” Mike groused, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “Let me guess, she even makes you go outside to workout too.”

“I might,” Tim admitted. “You were being a jerk to my friend, I don’t regret hitting you at all. And,” now Tim gave Mike a confused look, “...yeah? Where else would you work out? I mean, I guess you could go to a dojo or gym or something, but outside is the best spot for it.”

“It’d be weird if you did. I don’t regret biting you either…though you might want to make sure you’re caught up on your rabies shots,” Mike sneered. 

At Tim’s plain acceptance of working out, outside, Mike groooooaned, doing a weird little tip over with his body to one side, one of his legs twitching slightly. “Eugh, not at all? Sure, accepting it as a punishment is pretty lame, but doing that willingly? Super uncool.”

The kid made a disgruntled expression as he sat back up. “There’s some cool stuff out here, I guess, but ideally there’d be some way to, like… Access everything from a central hub that you could keep in a room.”

“I’m not sure if I even know what those words mean individually, let alone when you put them all together,” Tim admitted. “Access everything? What, like… the outside, and the dojo, and the gym? From your room? I think there is a way to access all of that from your room. I think it’s called ‘walking’. Maybe add ‘doors’ if you’re feeling technical about it.”

“Without leaving, smartass,” Mike rolled his eyes. “And I don’t know why anyone would want to access a dojo or a gym, but…everything. Every story that’s ever been told, every piece of data recorded, every schematic drawn. A total library of the sum of people’s findings, but…”

Mike squinted, his fingers twitching a little, as if the concept he was looking for was physically just out of reach. “But…like an index that could open to anything, that wouldn’t take up countless rooms and shelves, and could be accessed from…”

He suddenly let go of a frustrated sigh. “...nevermind. Something like that really is science-fiction.”

“A total library of the sum of people’s finings…” Tim’s brow furrowed, genuinely trying to follow… before looking around and pointing at the library, “...buuuut not the… library? Yes?”

Mike’s jew tensed and his nostrils flared a bit. “Forget it! It’s stupid!” Huffing, he scooted to look at the lower row of magazines, his gaze furious in its sharpness. Sniffing, he wiped the fresh bit of blood from his nose higher up on his sleeve.

Chasing after fantasies was a waste of time. And spending time indulging it was worse. 

Timothy raised an eyebrow at the kid. He cleaned out his ear with his pinky. Hmmm.

…what would… Mom do?

“Do you want to go on a reeeeaaaally long walk and talk about what’s wrong when you’re tired?” Tim asked.

Mike looked back up, giving Tim just an absolutely withering look. A total, ‘are you fucking stupid’ look. “Do you?”

Timothy shrugged. “I don’t feel like doing this book report. And I already turned down my friends’ offer to go on strike with them. Running away is fun sometimes too.”

What would… Dad do…

“I could kidnap you if it helps?” Tim offered.

Mike wouldn’t really call running away fun (though that was not what he did) but…it was better than where he had been. And here… Mike glanced toward the bookshelves, scowling at the voices beyond. Assholes that picked him up and stole his hands…

Ripping a few pages from the new magazine (the action looked violent, but just because it was so smooth. There was a quick, blink and you’ll miss it fold, before a straight, clean rip) Mike folded them and put them in his pockets before getting up. Again, the movement looked a little…odd. Almost like he was hopping onto his feet, instead of pushing himself up, except there was a certain lack of energy hopping needed. 

“Sure, whatever, let’s bail. I’m done here anyway.”

“Cool. If my mom and dad ask, I kidnapped you. If either of my uncles ask, you kidnapped me. I think that covers all my bases,” Tim mused, unconcerned about the magazines as he followed the kid out of the library. 

Timothy had never been in this part of the city before. It wasn’t far, it was just on a side of town that Timothy had never wandered to. He looked around, already a little lost, but… well, whatever, he’d find his way back. Or he wouldn’t and his family would find him. Timothy had the easy confidence of a kid who knew people would come looking for him. So he had no idea who was leading when he set out in a seemingly random direction.

“...did I break your nose or something? You’re still bleeding. Does it hurt?” Tim asked.

Mike shrugged. Walking around the city wasn’t a crime, so they couldn’t prove anything. Kidnapping was, but given that this kid and his dad had both said it, Mike figured that either it was a much less severe penalty than he’d thought, or they were just using the word for a different meaning. One that kind of just meant ‘leaving with you’. 

Weirdos. 

It had been a few weeks since Mike left home, and a few weeks (though a different amount of time both signified by that vague description) since he’d come to Usott, but it wasn’t like he’d mapped out the city or anything. He just stole a map like a normal person. He wasn’t interested in being dazzled by the city sights, mostly just sticking to commercial areas, particularly libraries and trade shops, though he’d found a lot of what he figured to be religious buildings were super easy to slip into to find a safe place to sleep. 

So while the immediate area around the library was a little familiar, Mike wasn’t with what laid beyond, but he wasn’t that concerned. 

“Maybe,” Mike shrugged, “But it doesn’t really hurt. It’ll clot eventually. Eating’s just gonna be kinda gross for a while.”

“That might be a little dumb. I know a healer, but…” Tim frowned, looking around, “I don’t know how to get to her pharmacy from here. So, oh well, I guess. Maybe we’ll run into another one.”

In truth, Tim wasn’t that worried, mostly because his dad hadn’t seemed that worried. And Mike’s nose didn’t look broken. He probably just honestly had a nosebleed from the action. But Tim felt a smidge guilty looking at it, which made him want to offer to see a healer, even if Mike actually probably was fine.

“Why didn’t you just steal the whole magazines?” Tim asked.

“Ugh, so what?” Mike made a face, “So I can put my head under a sink while some bitch says in baby-talk just to wait it out? I can break your nose if you want to see a healer so badly.”

He was not getting sedated today, no way.

Rolling his eyes, Mike sighed in exasperation. “I don’t need the whole magazine. And if they notice it’s missing, then there’ll be a whole investigation about theft--if it’s just a page or two, someone will just re-shelve the magazine without noticing. Or, when they do, it’ll be way later. Less baggage for me, less risk for me. It doesn’t matter what you do unless someone can prove it.”

Pushing his glasses up, Mike gave Tim a side-eye. “Why’d you come to the library in the first place if you didn’t want to do a book report? Tricking your parents into leaving with you early seems like half-assed complications.”

“It’s a class field trip. My dad wants to be more involved in my life so he’s joining the PTA. He volunteered to do the field trip and forgot it was happening, he thought I was just asking to go to the library on my own,” Timothy explained, eyes deadpan as he said, “My dad’s kind of stupid. I thought maybe I could get him to come, show attendance, and then he could take me home early… well, sort of. I thought it’d be fun to try more than I thought it would work. Uncle Shuichi coming kinda meant the plan was gonna fail from the start. Guess he just wanted to check out some books.”

“And if it didn’t work? I was just gonna hang out with my friends and complain about doing the book report.” Tim shrugged. “So either way it was gonna be an okay day. Then you showed up. So I don’t know. Now it’s an okay day but Weird. Are you skipping school to go to the library? I know you said you don’t go to school, but that sounds like a lie. Don’t they make Dicean kids go to school? They made us go to school in Luminary.”

Well, they made the military kids take classes, anyway. They didn’t want to promote soldiers who couldn’t read.

Mike made a gagging face, hearing about an adult that wanted to be more involved in a kid’s life. What a load of bullshit. Was probably just a straight up control freak, or the type that had been so unremarkable in their own life that they thought their kid was a round 2. A weird look for Mike, he nodded with some solidarity at Tim calling his dad stupid. 

Though he made a confused expression hearing why Tim had tried at all. Mike understood trying something even though there was a small chance of success, but… “Why do something if you know it won’t work? You had failsafes in the face of failure that you were fine with, but…then why try at all?”

Shaking his head a little--it just didn’t make sense, but…Tim knew that. Stupid people did stupid things, but acknowledging the stupidity and doing it anyway was…uncomfortable--Mike shot a glare at Tim. “There are truancy laws, but they can’t make you do anything, unless they want to use brute force.”

Sighing, Mike crossed his arms and hunched a little, seeming…not ashamed, but certainly not proud explaining this. “School sucks. It’s so boring. So I stole some of the comprehensive tests the older kids do and did them, and that fucking brain-blasted the adults so much that no one made me come to class anymore. Or at least I stopped hearing people knock on the door.”

Because it wasn’t like Doris could ever make him go to school in the first place.

“Oh,” Tim said, walking with him quietly for a moment, “...I won the student spelling bee last year. That was kind of cool.”

Tim didn’t really know what to do with Mike. He didn’t have an end goal beyond talking to the kid he had gotten into a fight with. The little guy was kind of all over the place too, as Tim shrugged and explained, “Most things don’t work. I do a lot of things that I think will work but then don’t. So why not try things that I think won’t work and see if it does? I can’t see the future, so either way there’s a way I’m wrong.”

“Good for you,” Mike said dryly. “What’d they make you spell, ‘dog’?”

This was…weird. This was the longest Mike could remember someone willingly being around him…ever. Sure, he guessed Doris technically counted since they lived in the same house, but for being face to face? And Mike was pretty damn sure Tim wasn’t drunk. 

Maybe it was because he hadn’t tried to set the kid on fire. 

As Tim explained his reasoning further, though, Mike slowly unhunched, putting his hands in his pockets. “...so you’re just experimenting chaotically, because you can’t identify any variable that actually leads to success? I guess…not the worst approach.” Plenty of people did that when there were too many unknowns in the field they were experimenting in. It still seemed aggravating to Mike, but…well, he knew better than to say that the ‘fuck around and find out’ approach had no merit.

Tim nodded, before glancing at Mike. Then, thinking it might impress the other kid, Tim said ‘nonchalantly’, “I tried to assassinate a prince once. I was gonna start a revolution. It didn’t work, but I’m still kinda proud I tried. Most people just whine about stuff, but I did something.” Tim’s chest puffed a little… before amending, “Though, again, super didn’t work. I got into a lot of trouble for it. They took my drums away, which was a bummer.”

That…did make Mike pause. Actually looking at Tim in shock. Sure it could just be a total lie, but…he didn’t know. It didn’t seem like Tim was lying. Obviously no one had succeeded in assassinating the prince, but not for a lack of trying, so Tim’s failure wasn’t just…failure. Mike wasn’t sure what sort of revolution he’d even been aiming for, but…

“...do you know where they took your drums?” he asked

Tim shook his head. “No, actually. General Juzo took my drums and said I wasn’t allowed to be a drummer boy anymore. They were my personalized set for being exceptional, so he knew I’d hate that… though…” Timothy tilted his head, “...he did mention something about me getting them back if I could pull my head out of my ass?”

Timothy considered that, before musing, “Someone might actually have it in the castle, actually. I can’t imagine he took them with him, they’re mine, they have my name on them. It could be someone has them and didn’t realize I’d want them back someday. I think my head is relatively out of my ass by this point. I don’t see why I can’t have them back, really. I wonder who has them?”

General Juzo… Mike had no idea who that was. But… Tim mentioned going to school in Luminary, and the man he’d called father he’d gathered was the Luminary prince who had married their Dicean prince last year, so…a Luminary general? He had heard there was some big procession for the marriage. Getting drums, especially personalized drums out of Luminary would be…difficult. 

…but if they were still in Usott castle?

Mike stopped, turning to look over at the castle looming up out of the horizon. “...the castle takes inventory of everything. It’d be easy to track down drums through that.”

Glancing at Tim, Mike’s face was neutral, but there was a certain glimmer in his eyes. A challenge. “Want them back?”

Tim gave Mike a curious look… before smirking. Giving a sharp little nod. “Yeah. I do.”

“...” Then Tim looked around the street. “How do we get to the castle from here??”

Mike rolled his eyes but waved Tim to follow him. “It’s right up there, idiot. All parallel roads lead to the city center.”

-

It had been a little harder than anticipated to slip by who he assumed was the head archivist, but like Mike had said earlier--no security was perfect. And now he and Tim were in a similar position that they’d been at the library, Mike settled on his knees as he quickly read through inventory reports from the end of last summer. 

Most items--art and clothes and…cookery, oddly enough--had been sent to different towns across Dicea, corroborated by the donations in, likely, a different report, but notated in this one that were sent to Luminary. However, some things had stayed in the castle. Prepared food, spices had gone to local co-ops…just straight up money, which was interesting…but not in a corrupt way. Money had gone to the other towns too, and Mike could figure the amount that had gone into the castle funds were literally just to cover the Luminaries’ stay there. 

What was more interesting were…single items. After a moment, things Mike could guess were personal or just…mundane items that the Luminaries had accidentally left behind. There weren’t notes about the prince or the other people that had stayed, but…he thought he was on the right track. 

Tim stared over Mike’s shoulder, a lot of what Mike was looking through either too obtuse for him to figure out, or matched what Tim had already known from just being in the Luminary party. Though… “Did they really just send all of the treasures off to other towns? What’d we lug all of that stuff all the way over here if they weren’t going to keep any of it? I like them better now, but royals are still so damn weird.” 

Though, as Tim’s eyes grazed down, his eyes widened a bit. “...they left behind that many weapons? Wow. Huh… so, Luminary used to do this thing where we’d have to send Indentureds to Danganronpa, right?” Tim explained, looking curiously at the weapons report, “I always wondered if maybe the fact that the Luminary party disappeared into the Danganronpa border might have been the party getting given to Danganronpa too? If they left a lot of weapons behind, it could be they were trying to disarm the party for it. Huh. Maybe the Head Secretary was planning to take the party to disappear into Danganronpa from the beginning. I guess I got lucky. I was supposed to go with them, but Mom and Dad made me stay so they wouldn’t execute me when I got back.”

“...any sign of my drums?” Tim asked. 

“Economic disparity,” Mike hummed, reading through the pages. “If all those other places gave shit to Luminary, and never got anything back, there would be a huge wealth sink there. Sure, they’d get relief aid if they applied, but it would be more economic reliance on the capital, and goods and services would become more expensive, without wages being able to rise, and people would get pissed. Maybe take after your steps and start a revolution to bring more wealth into their communities.”

“...does seem like a hassle to bring all that stuff though, if you could’ve off-loaded it in the towns you passed along the way.”

Mike had noticed the ridiculous amount of weapons too, and just figured it was a Luminary thing. Vaguely, he wondered about how it’d be to use something like a morning star or a great warhammer, but the more practical things Tim said next, once again, genuinely startled him. Mike looked up, eyes wide…before he said, “That’s fucked up. And ridiculously lucky. Were you born under a star prophecy or something?”

Huffing, Mike looked back down at the binders. “Not yet. I’m trying to find--ah, personal effects. It could just be under miscellaneous items, if they didn’t really know what they were, but if your name was on them…” He adjusted his glasses and squinted. “...you have a music room in the castle?”

“Oooooh, yeah, that makes sense,” Tim agreed, rocking on his heels a bit as he squatted, “That’s a good way to stop insurrections. People tend to be happy when they have resources. My general said that was why they had to make sure everyone who enlisted always had plenty. Can’t give people a bunch of weapons and training and then starve them. It’s just asking for trouble.”

“We… do,” Tim said, squinting, “We have a dance room… and a room with music records in it… oh, and there was a piano room. Maybe that’s the ‘music’ room? I’ve only been there once, Uncle Kokichi played for us in there once. He’s not bad.”

“Do you think it’s there?” Tim asked, looking a little excited, hopping on his heels a bit, “I think that was on the second floor, west wing.”

Mike held up the binder--with a little awkward difficulty--and pointed to a line in a spreadsheet. “This isn’t your name, they said it was ‘Harukawa’, but…snare drum and sticks, music room, storage? I’d put my bets there.”

Closing up the binder and putting it back on the shelf that he’d marked with some markers he’d pulled out of his pockets, Mike stood, making a face as his knees popped. “Unless I snag a map on the way there--lead on. Unless this place is a logistical nightmare, I’d assume the music room storage is by the music room.”

“Yeah,” Tim said, considering briefly showing off to Mike the cool secret passage to there… before remembering those passages were meant to keep the Ouma family safe. Tim probably shouldn’t tell people about the passages meant to keep Miyako safe. The adults too, sure, but Miya was just a baby, it’d already be tough to sneak her around when she cried all the time. “Come on! My drums are actually really cool, I can’t wait to get them back!”

Timothy headed up the stairs with Mike, at first pretty enthusiastic… before he wondered aloud, “I wonder why my mom never gave them back to me. Did she forget she had them?”

Mike followed Tim, and while they were mostly on the stairwell, he looked around curiously. So…this was the famous Usott Castle. Center of government since there was a centralized government in Dicea. 

…for humans, at least. 

It was pretty dumb, but…Mike wondered if he was one of the first centaurs to ever be in the castle. He knew humans and everyone else didn’t always live separately, even the weird, semi-meshed societies today…but it just seemed too weird to consider. These stairs were way too narrow for hooves to climb up properly, unless you were a fucking satyr or something. Mountain-climbing assholes. 

“Adults think kids are idiots,” Mike huffed roughly. “More than they are. A lot of them seem to think that if something isn’t around us, we’ll forget about it, like we have fucking goldfish memories or something. But unless your mom was that general, or ‘Yuliya Soroida’, or ‘Tori Enven’, I don’t think your mom had them.”

“Well, it was just you said it was labeled under ‘Harukawa’,” Timothy explained, shrugging, “My last name used to be–”

“Green?” Mike scoffed. “Maybe your head is still stuck in your ass, ‘cause that’s where your ears are, at least. I said the drums didn’t have your name--they were labeled under ‘Timothy Green’. But unless naming conventions are just as dumb in Luminary as they are here, I figured the only drums left from Luminary from someone named Tim were yours, even if the name was different.”

“Oh, yeah. I heard you say it wasn’t under my name and immediately thought you meant it wasn’t under the name ‘Green’,” Timothy nodded, “Though, what’s wrong with names here?”

Mike gave Tim an odd look. His name wasn’t Green, at least not anymore. So, knowing his last name from his parents, why would Mike think that? Weird. 

Though, he could only groan, dragging his hands down his face, uncaring about provoking his now-bruising cheek. “...I have a half-brother. Wanna know what his name is?”

The look Mike gave Tim could rival the aridness of Luminary’s deserts. “Micheal.”

Tim stared back at Mike’s dead-eyed look… and smirked. “Really?” he said, a little chuckle in the word as he headed down the west wing. “So, wait, is your name actually ‘Mike’ then? It’s not short for Michael?”

“Nope. It is short for Michael,” Mike scoffed. “I’m Mike Teavee…and he’s also Mike Teavee. And everyone thought that was a perfectly normal, full-brained thing to do.”

Timothy snickered again… before realizing, “Half-brother? Wait, older or younger?”

“Older…” The dead look returned. “By three months.”

Tim seemed to consider this a bit… before he asked, “Is your half-brother the kid of a concubine? Can your parents afford a concubine? Or is it like my sister and my situation? My mom’s not technically a concubine, they’re just raising me together. It’s a bit confusing, I know.”

Mike squinted at Tim, his shoulders rising a bit in discomfort, and the discomfort starting to bubble up some anger. “What the fuck is a concubine? My loser of a dad just finally convinced two idiots to fuck him the same year.”

“A concubine is a sort of hired spouse. Only instead of marrying them you basically pay them to be with you,” Tim explained, “Like a job. My dad’s not financially supporting my mom, and she dates other people, and I don’t… think? They’re together at all? So she’s not a concubine. They’re just friends, I guess.”

“...” Tim considered the ‘two idiots’ comment and wondered if he should leave it alone. Tim wasn’t stupid, he could tell Mike was getting mad. …but he was a little curious, so he asked, “Your dad do it the messed up way then?”

Mike made a face. “What an awful job. Though…” He considered it for a moment. “I guess money’s a better reason to stick with it than most.” He couldn’t imagine people choosing to stay together otherwise--the people who said stuff like ‘love’ were just delusional.

He didn’t care about the personal lives of the other people in his town, so he didn’t really know if there were any people who’d shacked up during a mating season and actually still liked each other…but he did know most of the kids did spend time with some of the adults. So…there was probably some amiability there.

For a moment, Mike gave Tim another squinty look…before he snorted, snickering a few notes. “There’s no way Norman raped anyone. Honestly I wouldn’t even believe he was my dad except for the fact Doris is too boring to lie about something like that. I would say she and Ethel could’ve done better but…I’m not that sure.”

“Oh, I more meant that he didn’t help pay for you,” Timothy said, a little surprised Mike had jumped straight to rape. Maybe the kid had seen a lot of that growing up. That was a shame. “Getting someone pregnant and then just leaving them to it is messed up. Raping them is kinda… a whole other word, I think.”

Timothy stopped at where he knew the music room was, before glancing around. “You said it was a whole storage room, right? It’s probably one of these doors then.”

Mike’s amusement faded away as he raised an eyebrow. Well…yeah, that was messed up, but… “Oh, yeah. Norman fucked off when I was little, so I guess,” he shrugged, rolling his eyes a little, “that’s middling fucked up, by that scale? Stayed through pregnancies, but not through the kids actually having functioning brains.”

…he didn’t care where Norman was. The fact that he’d left was the most noteworthy thing about the guy, Mike had surmised, so even if he ever came back…it wouldn’t change anything. 

Nodding at Tim’s deduction, Mike went a door over and tried the handle. Locked. Tutting, he started to take a few steps back. 

Tim knew how to lockpick– a bit– but Mike looked like a man with a plan. So he stepped back, watching the smaller kid curiously. “...got anything in mind?”

Mike gave Tim a look like it was obvious. “Kick the lock--”

He looked down. At his…feet. 

“...”

“...may need something heavier.”

“Oh, well, maybe we shouldn’t break the door,” Tim said, looking back at it, “There’s a housekeeper named Kirumi who works here. She has a whip. She whips people, sometimes. And kicks them. It hurts. Anyway, watch the halls, I’m gonna pick the lock.”

Pulling his lockpicks out of his pants, adjusting his obsidian dagger aside to do so, Tim knelt in front of the door. Listening quietly, Tim started to fuss with the lock. Gently trying to click the lock.

“...your dad sounds like a dipshit,” Tim agreed out of nowhere, “Parents that just wander off are worthless.”

Mike was about to just shrug the suggestion off, but…he’d never been whipped before. He’d heard that whips could flay the skin into wounds that never really healed right…it sounded kinda cool. But not something he wanted to experience first hand so…maybe breaking the door could be moved further down the list of things to try. 

Eyebrows rising in surprise, hearing Tim say he could lockpick (and not even that, just simply that he was going to pick the lock), Mike nodded, impressed and stood back to watch the halls. They had passed people going up and down the stairs (no, Mike wasn’t thinking about having to go back down them) and a few people in more general halls, but no one in this one yet… Hopefully it stayed that way. 

He wasn’t really expecting the conversation that followed either. He blinked at Tim for a moment, before returning to his lookout. “We can agree on that. At least parents that stay around, like…put food in the icebox.”

Mike couldn’t imagine what on earth Norman had better prospects of doing outside of their town. Every single thing he’d heard of the guy was that he was a useless, mediocre loser who’d just been a cog in the ‘work and do nothing until I die’ machine, just like everyone else but somehow with even less personality. His working theory why Doris and Ethel even banged him at all was because they were feeling the expectations of having to have kids eventually. 

There was nothing to Norman, so Mike couldn’t even guess why he left. And he didn’t want to either, screw him. 

(...and it didn’t matter that Mike had never been able to find any mention of him anywhere else, either.)

“Mmhm.” Tim agreed, listening for the little clicks. Click-click-click… “When I was first adopted? My parents basically told me that I should call them ‘Mom and Dad’ as their titles. That they both had, sort of… responsibilities to me. Being my parents were their jobs, and they explained to me how those jobs work.”

“Honestly, I think they might have been making it up on the spot,” Tim admitted, closing his eyes, click-click-click…click. “But it did give me a better idea of how they’re approaching this. The big thing they kept stressing was ‘you can make demands of us’. I haven’t made much, beyond maybe my dog Chase. Oh, and they said they’d never both be gone at the same time, so…here, I got it.”

Opening the door, Timothy put his picks away, a little proud of himself. That was his fastest time, easily. The door lock was pretty easy, but still! Then he wandered inside. 

There was a stale scent in the air. Tim got the sense they were the first ones to open the door in a little while. Tim sort of liked that stale smell. It reminded him of attics. “Alright, let’s find my drums…”

“So not just being a spouse, but being a parent can be a job too?” Mike squinted. “...I guess you do get tax reductions for having a kid, and if you’re a dipshit you can take their basic income, so that would kind of count for getting paid. Still, there are way better jobs for better pay that you don’t have to be a genius to do.”

…how weird, too, for a parent to stress that a kid could make demands of them. Like…yeah, duh? That’s what parents were for, even if they absolutely failed at it a lot of the time. And both being around at the same time was a weird thing to promise too. Sure, Mike understood that out of all parents there should probably be at least one around, but your birth parents…or…specifically adoptive parents promising that? Did they not have jobs or something?

Looking over as Tim announced the door was open, Mike smirked approvingly, giving the taller boy a nod. “Nice work. Hopefully this is the right room.”

For a storage room…a stale smell wasn’t the most inspiring sign. Things in storage needed upkeep, didn’t they? But it wasn’t like Mike knew how things were handled in the castle, so he resigned himself to straight up looking around. 

There were a lot of cabinets, which for the time being Mike ignored, but otherwise… A big stand-up bass case (it could probably hide three or four of him), some…xylophone-looking things that, considering the difference in material, Mike could only guess they were named different things, and…

Drums. A lot of drums. Tall, gourd-like looking ones, double sided ones, an entire drum kit… The inventory page had said a snare, so that was just a single one, Mike knew, so… 

“Tim, do your sticks have your name on them too?” Mike asked, standing on his toes to pick up a cylindrical container filled with sticks…not all of them looking like what he imagined snare drum sticks looked like.

“They’d be clasped onto my drum in their holders,” Tim said, eyes looking over the drums in muted, professional interest. 

Most of these were cheap. Pretty well maintained, all things considered. Some of them were pretty old, their batterheads starting to yellow. The shells were pretty nice looking. Dicea used a different type of wood, which Tim supposed wasn’t that surprising. Their coloring was all lighter, when he was looking for a darker bark wood– there.

…oh.

There it was.

Timothy hadn’t really expected to feel much, if he was honest. His drum mattered to him, sure, but he hadn’t been wracked with longing, being separated from it for so long. Tim was practical in that sense. He hadn’t had access to his drum, and so in a real way, it hadn’t mattered. Tim just accepting that it was gone and he had to move on.

But… there it was. It was smaller than he remembered. Maybe Tim had gotten bigger. He didn’t know. 

He picked it up, and looking it over, there it was. His little golden plated badge, bearing his name and rank, ensuring people knew it was his. The shell clasps all had little red painted bolts, on gold painted metal clasps. The country’s colors a sign that Timothy had been a general’s personal drummer boy, the highest honor for drummers. A sign of ultimate trust.

“...yeah, I found it,” Tim said, looking over the drum, before showing it to Mike, “This is it.”

They had no way of knowing that the person who had brought the drum here would keep the sticks in the holders, but whatever. Mike dropped back on his feet--the whole ‘lifting on your toes’ trick was something he’d learned quickly, even if it was a foot less useful than going on your back legs--and continued looking through the other drums. 

He idly poked a few of the heads in mindless curiosity before turning towards Tim. That…looked pretty fancy. 

“Cool,” Mike nodded, “You gonna play anything?”

“Yeah, I guess I can,” Tim said, sitting down and crossing his legs. He didn’t have his harness to put the drum around his hips, so he just cradled it between his legs, pulling out his sticks from his holders, and double checking the fasteners. 

He tapped the drum a little, getting the rhythm back… and then he said, “This means Enemy Advancing.” 

Dun-dun-dun-DUN dun-dun-dun-DUN

“Then, this means how many people it’s estimated to be. 10, 20, 30,” dundundundun DUN dundundun DUNDUN dundundun DUNDUNDUN, “And faster to jump to hundreds if that was more relevant,” dundundun DUN dundundun DUNDUN dundundun DUNDUNDUN, “100, 200, 300.”

Timothy closed his eyes.

Somewhere in his mind, he opened them in the mountains. His uniform hanging heavy on him, his hat low to shield his eyes from the sun, as he looked for signs of flags and smoke signals to report to the general how the battle was going, ready to play as loud as he could so that the distant forces could hear their general’s orders as his arms ached and sweat coated his skin. Tim refusing to wince or be afraid at the sounds of yelling or crashes or crossbolts that came far too close as he played.

“West,” dunDUNdun, “South,” DUNdunDUN, “East,” DUNDUNDUN, “North,” DUNDUNDUN.

Tim opened his eyes, distant and lost. No longer in the storage room as he monotoned, “Casualties,” DundundunDUN, “Medic,” dindindinDINDINDIN, “Prisoners.” DUN  dun  DIN, “Orders?”

Tim paused, lightly tapping his stick against the side of the drum, the sound quiet, like he was just keeping his wrist warmed up, as he stared blankly at Mike. Asking in monotone again. “Orders?”

Mike crossed his arms and leaned against one of the walls while Tim warmed up. And…well, he guessed it shouldn’t really be surprising that the kid didn’t play music. Though if someone played all that without the explanations and said it was music, Mike would’ve believed them. But this was way cooler than playing a song, this was…code.

Inputs for meaningful outputs of information. Limited discernable inputs, so the codes got longer, more purposeful in their combinations. Like mechanical latches sending signals…on. Off. 

From the wall, Mike leaned forward a little, eyes wide as he took in all the codes…and at first? He embarrassingly thought that there was a code for ‘orders’, and that was what Tim was going to play. But as he asked again…

Mike’s brows drew in as he scowled. “I am not playing pretend with you.”

Tim sort of gazed dazedly at him. He supposed this wasn’t that unusual. Sometimes you had to wait for the next order. You couldn’t expect the owners to immediately know what they wanted. You just had to stay listening and looking and ready to put out the next message. Tim-Tim couldn’t hear any answering drums, and he couldn’t see any flags or smoke signals, so he had nothing to report. He just had to stay calm. His purpose was to watch and listen. Ignore everything else. Ignore–

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap

Timothy glanced at the door. Ah. There was the authority. She was going to give orders. He had gotten confused. That was embarrassing… “Orders?”

The authority knelt down in front of him, looking him over. She reached out to touch his chin, moving it left, right, up and down. Timothy waited. He would be patient. His job was to wait for the next order. The next message. He was listening. He was listening. He was listening.

“Put down the drum,” the authority said, “Your shift is over. It’s lunch time.”

Timothy blinked once, twice… and the fog cleared. Putting the sticks back into their holders, as he said, “Yes, Mom.”

“Good,” Maki said, taking the drum from Timothy and standing up, watching as he dazedly looked down at his legs, like he was confused where the drum went. “Hmm…”

Then Maki glanced at the new kid. “...have you eaten yet? We’re about to go eat down at the dining hall.”

…this wasn’t just commitment to the bit, was it. Sure, Mike had heard about brats that would not break character until they got what they wanted…but playing a game to take orders from someone else was a weird one, and…Tim looked legitimately out of it. Mike had warily looked at the woman that came in, but…

She played along. And Tim put the sticks down…even if he looked out of sorts still. …and he called her ‘Mom’. 

Mike just squinted at the whole situation, taking it in. Getting the feeling that he was missing something…before he scowled distrustfully at Tim’s mom. “What’s it cost?”

“In your case? Courage.” Maki shrugged, snapping her fingers in front of Timothy’s face to get his attention. “Come on. Food.”

It was always good to keep your sentences short and simple for someone lost in the middle of a conditioning trigger. Timothy looked at her doe-eyed, before nodding and getting up, following her as the two left. 

Mike huffed a little. …dining hall meant the castle dining hall…which was probably like a community center dining area, so…a variety of food probably. 

…and a lot of people, probably. 

…it was a safe way to get a meal, and he could probably take non-perishables too. It’d be good to stock up a little. 

…there were probably going to be a lot of people…

…he was not going to imply he was a pussy, if he didn’t have ‘courage’, damnit! 

Growling, Mike trudged after Tim and his mom, pulling the brim of his hat down. 

-

Maki sat Timothy down, who was starting to look more and more irritated the more his eyes cleared up. His confusion bleeding into frustration as she set some green tea down in front of him. “Drink.”

Timothy’s nose wrinkled at green tea– gross– before taking it and sipping on it. He wasn’t about to start arguing with his authori–mom. He wasn’t about to start arguing with his mom. It was a losing fight. So he took a few sips of it. Blegh.

Maki watched him, before her eyes went to the kid smeared with blood next to him. The kid collecting food from the platters between them with the enthusiasm of someone who hadn’t had platters of food in front of him lately. 

He was sitting weird. His center of balance was off.

Hmm.

Maki turned back to focus on Timothy. “Want to know what your father’s doing right now?”

“Learning about labor unions at the library?”

“He’s in a panic, looking for you. You are in trouble, just so you’re aware. Neither of us are forgetting you’re in trouble… but we’re going to hold off on that until we figure out what just happened, and your mind clears up. Understand?”

“Nnn.” Timothy huffed in frustration, looking away, a bead of sweat on his forehead. “...nng.”

“Yes, mom,” Maki corrected.

“...yes, mom.” Tim huffed in frustration, “Mike and I just wanted to come look at my drum. Can I have it back?”

“No,” Maki said, now looking at Mike, “Who are you?”

Mike wasn’t sure about a lot of the food in the dining hall…but he knew what the fruit was. So anything that could travel fine he stuffed in his jacket pockets before he looked at the weird-looking chair at the table Tim and his mom were at like a grave enemy and kind of just…plopped himself on it, trying to tell himself that he wasn’t going to fall backwards. Normally he would’ve just left on his own, but…what was that??? Mike had to know.

…even if it meant being in a busy room with countless people going in and out and staying around and talking. Working through an apple, Mike sat hunched and sweating, trying not to be obvious about wanting to cover his ears. 

But as Tim’s mom turned her attention from Tim to Mike--she didn’t know what it was either? So this was new, new--he just gave her a disgusted look. “That drum’s his, though. You can’t keep lawful property away from someone indefinitely.”

“Who’s going to stop me?” Maki asked, a flash of challenging interest running through her blood red eyes, still looking Mike over like she was trying to dissect him, “You?”

“Mom, can you not be weird at my new friend?” Timothy asked plainly, looking tired. “I’ve already broken his nose, he’s been through enough.”

“His nose isn’t broken,” Maki said, refocusing on Tim. “I thought you only had devotion conditioning.”

Timothy shrugged, looking grumpily at his dish.

“...tell me the worst thing about the Momota family you can think of,” Maki ordered.

Timothy glanced up at her, a little confused, before sipping at his super gross green tea, his nose wrinkling in repulsion again. “...dad’s–”

“If you insult your father instead of answering my question you’re grounded for the next month.”

“...the indentured program,” Timothy answered, “The fact that they started the indentured program.”

“...ah, I’m an idiot.” Maki sighed, leaning back, “You don’t have devotion training. You’re just like that. I should have realized, you literally tried to assassinate a Momota, in no world is that a workaround you could perform for devotion training. In fact, you never told me what kind of conditioning you had, did you. I just assumed.”

“You’re not an idiot, mom.” Timothy frowned. “I didn’t finish my conditioning training, I never went back for my second one. I don’t have any.”

“No, I think it’s safe to say you have skill conditioning. Like Uncle Shuichi,” Maki murmured, looking at Timothy, “...damn.”

Honestly, Mike didn’t really care if Tim had his drum or not. It had been interesting to figure out where it was, and it was wild what happened when he got it, but Mike really wasn’t that invested in making sure people had their things. However, as Tim’s mom issued a challenge?

“Bitch, I might,” Mike mumbled through his apple, a fire lighting up behind his eyes…though Tim moved things along in his own way. 

(...he called him a friend? What.)

Devotion conditioning? …saying stuff against the Momota family… Conditioning as in to condition something, preparing for a purpose, devotion…towards the Momota family…forced devotion? Indentured program. Scratch devotion training (oh, it was the Luminary prince Tim had tried to assassinate…wait, his dad??? How did Tim fuck up against that idiot???). Multiple sessions, ‘training’...layered approach? Or breakthroughs. Skill conditioning?

(Even while he was processing everything, an absolutely bewildered look crossed Mike’s face when he heard Tim rebut his mom being an idiot.)

“...skill conditioning for drum relays?” Mike asked, his eyes narrowed in thought as he spun his apple in his hands, feet kicking the crossbar of his chair. “To the drum itself, or through the codes? If getting a personalized drum was such a big deal, I’d doubt it was literally that drum, but maybe just any carriable snare. If it’s through the codes, though, then would it just work if you tapped them on a table or something?” Mike looked up at Tim, curiosity burning in his eyes as he rapidly spat all of that out. Though immediately he frowned. “No, but you kinda came back as soon as she took the drum away, so it should be object oriented. But you did the first few codes fine, so there has to be something to it…”

“Yes, that’s my concern. They don’t condition drummers to be good at drumming. It’s a skillset that you can easily train any competent, intelligent person, and the indentured program was full of such people. Tim doesn’t need to be brainwashed to learn drumming messages, it’s not a thing,” Maki mused, not looking surprised at the boy’s otherwise oddly intelligent addition. “And worse, it’s a type of conditioning I’m not aware of that is unfinished. Uncle Shuichi’s life was miserable with a fudged skill conditioning. They need the most time investment and refining, there’s no guessing how a half-complete one reacts to anything.”

“So, yes. Until we can be certain the drum itself isn’t the issue? No, Timothy, you’re not getting it back. I’m not handing you a tool that lets literally anyone play games with your brain… which is why I’d like to know who you are,” Maki said, staring at Mike intently again, heat starting to radiate off of her, “Conditioning is only supposed to react to people in certain positions. Authority figures. But he looked for orders from you. Is that the conditioning going wrong, or is it you?”

“Mom, I met him like an hour ago. He’s not secretly some Momota cousin or one of the general’s kids or something,” Tim said dryly, “Mike’s just Mike.”

“Why did you hit him earlier?”

“He was rude to Bianka.”

“Did you lose the fight?”

Tim blanched, looking baffled by that idea. “W-what? N… no?” Timothy’s expression flickered with sudden uncertainty, “No, I’m pretty sure I won that fight.”

Likely, but Mike wasn’t ruling it out. Tim’s mom didn’t know about any of this in the first place, so her impossibilities had to be taken with a grain of salt. Which should probably be done with her information too, but until Mike could find any other information, it was what he was working with. So…mystery compulsions that could react in any way…but likely not from mundane things, considering that no one had noticed it until now. 

…which was a decent reason for Tim not to have his drum, but not, like…for a banned reason. For a ‘this experiment needs to be controlled’ reason. 

Mike rolled his eyes exasperatedly. “Oh noooo, it’s not like I was literally the only other person in the room. Surely a compulsion looking for input would totally ignore everything when it was triggered in a hackjob.”

Pulling a face, Mike growled in dissatisfaction, swaying quickly side to side in his chair. “Your fucking dad won that fight. And if you’re gonna piss your pants if I’m from Luminary,” Mike rolled his eyes at Maki, looking bored and bothered, “I’m from fucking Edahu.”

“...” Timothy looked at his mom, who looked equally confused. Neither of them knew where Edahu was. Where were Shuichi or Kokichi when they needed them. “...I woulda won that fight.”

“Timothy, either make it an official spar or shut up about it, there’s no use bragging about imaginary fights,” Maki told him sternly.

“It wasn’t imaginary! Look at all the blood on his face! That’s my work!” Timothy insisted.

“Timothy, I order you to admit you lost the imaginary fight.” Maki said.

“...” Timothy pouted, “No, it wasn’t imaginary, he bit my arm! Look, I didn’t wrap it or anything, I was super tough–”

“Okay, well, it’s not obedience conditioning,” Maki concluded, “And Mike is a kid from… where is Edahu?”

Ah, okay, that sounded more normal. Well…not really, Mike figured that Doris would have an aneurism before she’d ever sound even a fraction as stern as Tim’s mom…but the kind of sentiment was right. …except that it was more testing, which, again… Actually mildly clever, if not supremely annoying. 

Giving Maki a dry look, Mike rolled his eyes before shoving the last of his apple in his mouth, digging around in his pockets for a moment…before he pulled out a folded paper, which, unfolded, turned out to be a map of Dicea. Turning it towards Maki and Tim, he pointed to a teeny-tiny dot a few towns away from Usott. “Southeast.” 

“Hmmm,” Maki nodded, looking over the well-worn map, “That seems like a tough journey. I’m assuming you took a caravan down this main path here?” she asked, pointing to the largest, most obvious pathway from the capital to the southeast. “I mean, there’s a few shorter routes you could take, but those seem too dangerous.”

“I had stops to make,” Mike shrugged, nose wrinkling a bit at the thought of being stuck in a caravan with other people. After a moment, he took his map back and folded it back up--again, each movement seemed violent, but the folds were precise. “Speaking of!”

Hopping out of his chair with a disgruntled look back at it, Mike half-heartedly raised a hand. “I helped you find the drum, even if it was bullshit, so I’m out.”

For a few hours anyway. Plenty of time to get more research done before seeing a real life telephone transmitter that night. Mike was…a little skeptical about just waiting by the gate, but it was the best lead he had.

“You hard up on coin?” Maki asked, staring at the bite mark on Timothy with a small frown. Yeah, she should get that sanitized, or her kid was gonna end up a zombie or something. “Want a job?”

Mike paused, turning back to Tim’s mom with a suspicious look, eyes narrowed. “...what kind of job?”

“Conditioning is a relative unknown in Dicea. I’m going to need to have my brother run some experiments on my kid here. But my brother isn’t as good at note-taking and memory as he used to be since his conditioning was interrupted, and that slows him down a bit. If I’m going to ask him to help his nephew, I should offer him an assistant.” Maki said simply, “Though, I’d expect you to room at the castle while the process is happening. If you’re going to be taking down notes on Timothy, I don’t want those notes leaving the castle, so you’d stay here.”

Timothy gave his mom a confused look. Uncle Shuichi’s memory wasn’t spotless, but he didn’t need an assistant…?

Mike’s eyes narrowed more. She thought he was homeless. Which…wasn’t entirely inaccurate right now. His home in Edahu was still his home, but Mike had no fucking plans to return for the time being, and…he had just been squatting in Usott. It wasn’t like people would lease or pass over a land contract to an 11-year-old, no matter how many documents he forged. 

It…would be nice having his own space…but…

“I don’t need pity,” he spat, growling softly. 

“And I don’t need an employee with such a piss-poor attitude,” Maki said, while Timothy watched in horror as she took the table kettle and filled his cup with more green tea. Noooo he had been almost done. “But I do need one who could immediately speak intelligently about conditioning issues while literally only first hearing about them today.”

“But if the piss-poor attitude is going to be stronger than your intelligence, then go, I can’t use you,” Maki said. 

“Then cry yourself to damn sleep tonight, because I’m not going to be used,” Mike snarled, flipping Tim’s mom off. “I don’t take orders, and especially from losers who think they can come off manipulative and clever if they just say things confidently enough. Go play mad scientist your own damn self.”

With that, he turned to go again. 

“Mm,” Maki shrugged, looking back to Timothy, “We’re going to the healer for that bite, by the way.”

“...” Timothy looked at his mom, then at Mike again, before looking at his mom, “I’m pretty sure he’s homeless.”

“Already tried, Tim. Dicea takes care of their own street urchins,” Maki said.

“He might do it for getting to look at the telephone tower,” Tim offered, “He likes that stuff.”

“Tim, I can’t force someone to accept help when they don’t want it,” Maki said, shrugging a little, “He didn’t want pity, he didn’t want pragmatism, and I’m going to bet he’s not going to want compassion. He’s a bit like your nanny. You can’t offer them anything.”

“...Miss Kawai likes sheep,” Tim muttered, “And hillsides.”

“Well, I don’t have a farm to offer him either. There’s nothing I can offer him, Tim.”

“...” Tim glared at his tea. 

Maki sighed, “You can go try, if you like. Go get it out of your system. Maybe you’ll grow up with more sense than your father if you have some good early lessons on this sort of thing.”

“Can I go now?”

“Fine, but go to a healer after! And you’re still in trouble!” Maki called, as Timothy ran off after Mike. 

There was…so much to do. So much at his fingertips that Mike could practically feel it bubbling up in his stomach…or that could be the relief he felt leaving the dining room. That buzzing din finally leaving his head, letting him breathe. But even with so much to do, Mike wasn’t planning on leaving the castle right away. He was, ah, actually heading for a bathroom. 

He didn’t really mind walking around with blood all over his face, but it was kind of gross, he guessed, and very attention-getting. He just wasn’t going to toddle after some pretentious jerk saying it was clean-up time. 

Getting to a bathroom, Mike groused at how high the sinks and mirrors were, reluctantly going to a particularly low one before he rolled up his sleeves and pushed his glasses to the top of his head, securing the stems with his hat. Turning on the water, he started filling his hands, leaning over the sink. 

“Look, you don’t actually have to accept my mom’s help,” Tim said behind Mike, Suddenly There, “The castle will just take you in. You can literally just get a room ‘Because’.”

Mike startled, instinctively kicking out backwards with a furiously surprised, “GAH!”

…kicking backwards with both feet, and completely losing his balance, clipping his head on the edge of the sink before he hit the floor, hat and glasses going flying. Squinting at the blurry orange figure as he awkwardly flipped himself over, chest heaving, Mike screamed, “DON’T FUCKING DO THAT!”

Timothy watched the kid kinda… flop violently into the air like a fish. And throw his face into the sink. Before flopping onto the ground like a fish again. All fish-like…

“...are you a mermaid?” Timothy guessed. “Cause you’re as skittish as a horse. Also, if Mom asks, I gave you that bruise and totally won this fight.”

“This isn’t even a fight, dipshit!” Mike growled. “Also, haha, very funny, what a comedian. …where the fuck are my glasses?”

He wasn’t blind or anything. He could see where his hat was, and getting on his knees he picked it back up, but… The thin black frames, if they were on the floor, melted into the blurry tile pattern, making Mike squint in a way he knew looked ridiculous. 

“...they let anyone rent out rooms?”

“Mhm,” Timothy nodded, “I think Mom just went the ‘employment’ route because that’s usually what people need in Luminary. That’s not really a thing here though. You can just be weird and pissy at the castle, no one can stop you. You don’t have to work for anyone either.”

“And, here,” Tim said, kneeling down, waving his hand over the glasses on the floor, “They’re here.”

“...choose my own damn jobs… Don’t need charity,” Mike grumbled. But…it really would help, having a consistent place to sleep. And do his own work. …and shower. If he could get a room at the castle, no questions asked? No one trying to tell him what to do? Then maybe…

Leaning forward, Mike cautiously reached out where Tim’s blurry hand was waving (for a moment making it very apparent that their difference in height extended to other things too) before…touching his glasses. With a tight frown, Mike picked them up and slid them on, the world coming back into focus. Tim not really…looking any sort of way. 

(...at school, he would’ve had to just walk home with everything blurry, since his glasses would’ve been flushed down the toilet in an instant. Maybe broken, someone feigning telling him where they were to cut him. Maybe someone grabbing out to put his head in a toilet.)

(Mike didn’t care what anyone said. Watching them get questioned by the guards, then seeing the building go up in flames had been hilarious.)

For a moment, Mike just looked at Tim tensely…before saying quietly, “Thanks.”

“Sure,” Tim said, “If you talk shit to my mom again I’m going to punch you in the face.”

“Why don’t you?” Mike asked, the question genuine, though his tone was rough. “She was talking about experimenting on you and you didn’t even blink. Are you just that whipped?”

“She was talking about helping me,” Timothy shrugged, “What do you want me to do, cry about it? Sometimes help looks scary.”

“And I gotta hold back on fighting you, even if I think you deserve it. My folks are both already mad at me. Dad doesn’t like me being violent, he thinks I’ll get into trouble he can’t help with,” Tim explained, “Mom likes it though. It’s a weird balancing act. Want me to show you where the admin office is? It’s different from the archive.”

“Sometimes ‘help’ is bullshit and nothing but an ego boost for someone to fill the guilty little hole of ‘expectations’ in them,” Mike groused…though he didn’t push it. If some of his ideas were right, he was going to ask Tim to be experimented on anyway. 

Looking at Tim for a moment, Mike just sighed, hopping himself standing again. “You’re so weird. Yeah, sure, I’ll take a guide. Lemme finish here first…and don’t just stand behind me.” Mike shot Tim a quick glare before pushing his glasses up again and actually getting to clean his face.

“Where the heck am I supposed to stand?” Tim muttered, looking around the bathroom, before shuffling to the side a bit, “...here?”

“On your fucking head doin’ a pirouette, I don’t care, just not behind me,” Mike grumbled, only half audible from the water. 

“My friend Kimiko can do that,” Timothy said, scratching his arm lightly– oh, right, he had to go to a healer at some point. Bite. “Her mom’s got her signed up for ballet lessons, so she’s been randomly adding in aspects of it to our training. My parents are training us to be assassins. Not really, but my friends like to think of it that way. Kimiko says she wants to be the first ballerina assassin, and Mom says she thinks Kimiko could pull it off.”

“And before you ask what the heck’s wrong with us, keep in mind ‘people like to have fun’,” Tim said dryly, “And pretending we’re going to be assassins makes training more fun for my friends.”

…really? That was…impressive. 

Drying off his face and sliding his glasses back down, Mike rolled his eyes as he turned the water off. “If whatever your training is is close enough to pretend to be assassins, I can see the value in that. As gross as it is, I’m not the kind of idiot that thinks any kind of physical activity is useless.”

Grinning sharply, he nodded for Tim to start leading the way to getting his room. “Have you ever gone pumpkin smashing? Now there’s a good time.”

Timothy side-eyed Mike a bit, before saying, “I feel like I can guess what that means by the name alone. No, I haven’t… could I invite my friends?”

“Yeah?” Mike shrugged, not really seeing why any part of it had to be a solo experience…other than the fact he had always done it alone. “It’s…actually probably the right time of year,” he mused. “You just go find the rotted pumpkins from Harvest decorations people should’ve thrown away weeks ago, or the rejects from the patches, and go fucking ballistic. The way they burst and crunch is awesome.” Mike smirked, something gleefully satisfied in his expression. 

“Cool,” Tim said, walking down the halls, the admin office super close to the dining hall really, “Cali will have the most fun smashing the things, but Kimiko will probably make it weird and more fun. Bianka’s gonna end up interviewing you to do some sort of pumpkin-smashing expose probably, but she won’t actually tell on us. We’ll all be anonymous in her article.”

That sounded…alright. And while Bianka had ganged up on him with Tim…they both had been really straight forward about it. Whatever. He could take them all on if he had to. 

Mike’s nose wrinkled. “What’s there to expose about pumpkin smashing, if it’s not to be a snitch? It’s just destroying stuff that people don’t give a shit about.” …he had considered regular pumpkins before, but…as much as Mike didn’t care about any of the idiots in his town, he didn’t actually want to cause a food shortage. So ‘harmless’ destruction it was. 

“Yeah, well, just don’t ask Bianka or Uncle Kokichi about it. You’ll find out we’re also, like…” Tim wracked his brain, “Disrupting the bug population by creating more waste in the area than normal, which kills the birds from overfeeding, which contaminates the local rivers when the birds fall into it and die from being too fat off of fat pumpkin-bugs… that’s not a real thing, to be clear, I just made that up. But there’s basically always ‘something’. And Bianka will be doing an expose about it, and Uncle Kokichi will know a lot about it already.”

“Here’s the office. By the way, if Dad suddenly shows up and asks you a lot of invasive questions, just don’t answer him. Mom says they need to get him off kidnapping kids cold turkey or he’s gonna end up in jail.” Tim said. “Better to not encourage him.”

Mike listened, growing more and more bewildered with the ecological chain of destruction, before he stuck his tongue out with a groan. “What buzzkills. Okay, whatever, I won’t ask.”

As they got to the office, Mike gave a little nod, both as thanks for the directions, and to Tim’s warning about his dad. “I’ll just bite him too. Also…we’re still on tonight? I didn’t want to say anything in front of your mom.”

“Sure, I’m still into it.” Timothy nodded, before looking over his shoulder. “Anyway, I have to go to the healers, Mom thinks your bite’s gonna give me rabies or something. I’ll check in to see where you live now later?”

“Can’t hurt to check,” Mike sneered, before giving a small shrug. “Sure. I’ll probably be heading out again, but you first asked to meet after dinner, so I’ll be back by then. See you.”

With a wave, Mike headed into the office. Now…what were the chances he’d actually find a halfway decent bed here?

-

Dr. Mariah sipped at her tea, the white noise of the fishtank bubbling through the air for a while, before she glanced down at her journal, “The last few sessions have been good, keep in mind. Your approach to Hinata for lessons was a big step for you, socially, and it was good we went through that, the homework went well. And obviously I can’t overstate the importance of accepting needs and expectations for your parents while starting your journey interviewing them. Which, I would like to talk more about at some point, checking in on how the meetings are going, but…”

Dr. Mariah looked calmly up at Doppio, “...well, I’m certain you know what I’m going to try to bring up again. It’s not that your in crisis, or that you’re not accepting things, or that you’re doing anything wrong… but we do need to talk about your father still anyway. I just can’t accept that there’s nothing on your mind, regarding that.”

Doppio sighed softly, cupping his hands around his own teacup. “I know… I-I mean, I’d like to think I haven’t been avoiding it. Things have just…felt kinda…both calmer, but also really busy? Even coming here more often it feels like we barely touch on everything we set out to…”

He looked down, rocking the side of his shoe into the carpet. “...I’m sad. And…I know it’s okay to still feel like that, even after a few weeks, a-and knowing what was going to happen anyway. Angioletto said that it was okay to want to celebrate too, but… I mean…” Doppio’s lips turned into a stiff grimace. “...I am happy that he’s getting help. All I’ve ever wanted was for my dad to be okay…and if I can’t be the one to help him, then I’m happy he’s being helped by people who actually can. But…that’s about as far as I feel like celebrating, I guess…”

“That is an extremely common way to think about it,” Dr. Mariah assured him, her teacup clinking against its plate, “For many abuse cases, those closest to the victim are often more vengeful and thrilled for retaliation than the two people actually involved in the case are. It’s actually fairly rare for it to be any other way.”

Cases like Lake Meo were almost unheard of for a reason. And it wasn’t because children weren’t usually capable of murder. Lake’s self defense took a type of courage and, more unusually, sense of self-worth that most victims didn’t develop well in an abusive situation. Dr. Mariah hadn’t been worried about taking a child murderer and stopping her from murdering again. That had never been a serious danger. 

She had focused on reassuring Lake, over and over again, no, you were right, and yes, everyone treating her like a monster was wrong. It was already done. You had been in terrible danger. You did the best you could. They don’t understand what you were struggling with. Forgive them. You were right.

Dr. Mariah was very proud of her work with Lake Meo. She had grown into a wonderfully well adjusted adult, all things considered.

“Amaina sees a moment of celebration because she loves you, and hates those that hurt you. But you have your own love that takes priority for you, and that is also fair and understandable. You are not wrong for still caring about what happens to your father. But you’ll have to be patient with your other loved ones, who will struggle to understand that.”

Doppio nodded a bit, a faint smile on his lips. “Yeah… I mean…I do understand that, where she’s coming from. From the moment we met, she never had a great perception of my dad, a-and she put a lot of personal stake into helping me from…” Doppio took a breath, steeling his insides for a moment. “From…problems he caused me. But…I think she understands my feelings too, a-at least in the fact that I’m feeling them, even if she doesn’t get it…if that makes sense.”

Huffing softly, he added, “Arven’s similar, though he doesn’t really show his…relief, I guess, as bluntly. And I think he’s looking out more for me getting…angry or super sad. But we’ve talked about it and…I’m grateful that he’s here for me.”

“Your support network has been solid, Doppio, and that’s absolutely a testament to how hard you’ve been working on it.” Dr. Mariah said, running her finger slightly over the brim of her cup, “And you know, that might be helpful in the future, if you find your feelings… changing?”

“There are stages of grief,” Dr. Mariah explained, “Some people have hard rules to how grief process’s for everyone, but I’ve found that there’s enough exceptions to those rules as to make those stages more… explanatory for people trying to find a word for what’s happening to them, rather than an actual guideline to follow. The only reason I bring that up, is because someday your feelings on your father’s consequences might change, and people might suggest you’re coming out of a grief stage called ‘denial’? I don’t think they’ll be correct in that, I don’t think you’re in denial of what’s happening. I think you’ve jumped quickly to what people always expect the final stage to be, which is acceptance.”

“But it’s not unheard of for acceptance to be the first stage… and then your feelings change as time goes on. Anger. Bargaining. Denial. It’s an understandable process, for you to feel less okay about something the more time you have to actually process and gain distance from what happened. And when that happens– if it happens– you’ll need this same support network who might be surprised at the shift. Be patient with them if that happens.”

Doppio nodded slowly, taking a sip from his tea before he huffed a short, soft laugh. “I do get your point about it all, um, not necessarily being in the same order, or the same feelings…but… Broadening the scope, I guess… It kind of feels like…because nothing was really…surprising? That I kinda already went through the bits that people might’ve expected first.”

He shrugged a little, looking tired. “I didn’t admit at all that my dad was hurting me, for a while…then I was convinced that…well, even if I was hurt, then it was still fine for him to do it. Then I ran away, and tried to lie to the authorities, lied to Kaito… Then I got really sad and felt like nothing mattered and…th-that’s kinda when I started seeing you, so…you know kind of how I was feeling at the time. And I felt like everything was my fault, and…panicked, when I found out it hadn’t really been my dad that was arrested, so I felt like I needed to protect him still… But then I admitted everything, and he was arrested, and I felt really guilty, but not like I could take everything back, and I talked with him and…”

Doppio finished with a shrug, looking up at Dr. Mariah. “...now he’s gone through the court system and…everything’s done. I’m not…happy about everything that happened…but I feel like it needed to. And there are a lot of things I’ve gained that I am happy about, and I can’t imagine not having if I could go back before everything.”

He paused, before giving Dr. Mariah a flat look. “....a-and I know I probably, literally could do that, but…I think it all feels the same as if I couldn’t, emotionally. …and every time I’ve gone back more than, like, a minute, I feel like I’m dying, so going back a month…m-might actually kill me, so I’m not even going to play with the idea.”

“Ah, that is an excellent counterpoint,” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, “And if that ends up being the case? All the better. You just need to know that either way it goes? It’s still normal, and nothing to be ashamed of.”

Dr. Mariah sighed, considering her words carefully, “...there’s a certain level of acceptance, that is required, when in the fact of higher tier levels of power. There is nothing, I, or anyone I know, could do to stop you from trying to reset, if you really wanted to. I won’t lean into the idea that it might be dangerous for you, as an argument against it. You’ll learn your own limits best with time, practice and intuition.”

“The only thing I, or anyone, can tell them, and you, is that you need to think these things through, when you do them. Which it sounds like you are considering. Because resetting would require trades. Even if you tried over and over again, everything you have in this timeline? Is not feasible in one where your father is free. And it’s important to recognize that when you make timeline choices.”

“Not to mention how it’d affect the people around you,” Dr. Mariah said, “your choices would result in trades for them as well, even if they’re never aware of it.”

Doppio nodded, a serious expression on his face as he traced the side of his teacup. “...like… It’s less, now, a-and we have talked about it between us, but…for a while I really felt like nothing but trouble for Arven, even if we like each other…” Doppio’s face pinched. “But even trying to look at it in…some weird, selfish way like…sacrificing my own happiness for his betterment… He’s told me that he feels like his life has gotten a lot better since we met. A lot in part due to our relationship but other stuff too. And…acting like I know best for him, turning things back…it would be taking all that happiness away from him. Sure, he could find other stuff in a new timeline, but…there’s… It feels like there’s no point, when he’s already happy here, you know? And I’d feel horrible taking it away from him.”

Sighing, he pressed a heel into the carpet. “...I still don’t do it that often, but…it feels easier to consider when it’s like…a few seconds, or minutes. If I did something impulsive and it turned out really bad, or…” Doppio looked to the side, shrinking a bit. “...using it singularly. …even then I kinda…forget it’s all an option, sometimes, so…listing everything out makes me feel kinda dumb.”

“...but even if I can change things?” Doppio shrugged. “There’s no way to say that redoing it would make everything better. Or anything better. For the most part, I feel like…just staying with the consequences of what actually happened is best for…I dunno. Keeping sane. And it’s not like that stuff wouldn’t have still happened to me…like we talked about before.”

Dr. Mariah nodded, “Again, that can literally only be a personal expectation. No one can stop you, Doppio. That means it’s an incredible amount of responsibility on your part, and one only you can answer too. But so far, I agree with your reasoning. Arven, as far as we’ve talked about it, has never expressed unhappiness in starting a relationship with you. While there’s nothing wrong with breaking up with him if those feelings fade for you, making some sort of ‘personal sacrifice’ to ‘free him’ is a particularly foolish power trip on your part… and it’s more than a bit cruel on his. Breakups are ugly things, but taking the knowledge that you were ever dating from someone? That’s cruel.”

Dr. Mariah smiled a little thinly, “And no one can stop you from being cruel, Doppio. No one but you. That’s something you must always keep in mind.”

Doppio’s gaze lowered and went a little far away as he nodded. That was true in a lot of ways, really. No one could stop you from being a massive asshole. Only physical restraints could stop you from committing horrible crimes. No one could stop Doppio from messing with time as he pleased. Living with free will meant that, to large extents, you really could do whatever you wanted. A lot of people had arguments against it, but…they weren’t quite right. Stuff like laws, people’s opinions, even punitive measures…it wasn’t that they stopped you from doing as you pleased. They were just consequences. You having the free will to do as you pleased wasn’t divorced from the rest of the world also being able to do as they pleased, so saying that those things stopped you was…really you just choosing that those consequences weren’t worth the thing you wanted. 

In a lot of real ways, the only thing that stopped any sort of cruelty was that person’s personal decision to…not be cruel. The motivation for that decision could come from a lot of different things, but…at the end of it all, was the decision. 

In that way, Doppio was no different from anyone else, even if the thing he was making a decision about was…kind of bonkers. 

“...I know thinking about this is just…unhelpful for my own life. But I still…” He sighed. “...I wonder if my dad will ever…regret it. If in retrospect, the things that he wanted, and could be achieved by cruelty will…look less like worthwhile decisions, when compared to the consequences.”

A frown ticked down his lips. “...even apart from those hypotheticals being bad for me…it feels particularly dumb about my dad since…retrospection isn’t what he does.”

“It’s not unfeasible, though you are correct, it’s not something that affects you in a physical way or should. But, keep in mind, a huge part of your fathers sentencing is about giving him the tools and resources to improve his mental health. Perhaps that form of retrospection isn’t something he’s been capable of yet, but with time and work? Change is not impossible for anyone.”

Difficult to the point of impossible? Sure, depending on who you asked. Difficult to the point of not being worth the effort? Again, depending on who you asked. But she was discussing it with Doppio, who loved him, and with that audience in mind, it was possible and was worth it. 

“And we’ve discussed before, that your father lost his chance at raising his son by denying what you were to him. While it’s often very little too late… that does tend to be something people regret, as they get older. Which is unfortunate, since their children tend to have long moved on by the time they realize they’d made a terrible mistake.”

Something sad washed over Doppio’s face at that. His gut impulse was to think something like…well…in his case, they didn’t really know what growing up meant for him, but…that wasn’t applicable here. Even if Doppio really didn’t change physically, he would still change in other ways. He would grow. And…one day that growth might be moving on past…caring at all what his father’s life was like. 

…but right now, that thought was…overwhelmingly sad to consider. 

Doppio sighed shortly. “...what’s done is done, and wishing things were different or wanting to hold things in parallel is…understandable, but not conducive for my own life. I can feel sad, but sad isn’t forever.”

He glanced up, smiling wanely at Dr. Mariah. “...I kinda feel bad that we’ve waited so long to talk about my dad but…it kinda feels like there isn’t much to say anymore.”

“It was more me wanting to make sure we weren’t holding back,” Dr. Mariah explained, her tone gentle, “But, I think you’re correct. If you ever find yourself needing to discuss it again? It’s always open for discussion. At no point is a problem or issue just ‘closed’.”

“So,” Dr. Mariah sighed, “Before we move onto discussing your potential new foster parents and how that’s going, let me check in on how things are going with the overly involved authority in your life. How’s Kaito been handling the last few weeks with you? Has he finally stopped trying to listen in on the foster parent meetings? You can be sure I’m asking him about it in my appointments with him, but I want to make sure Kaito hasn’t just been holding back in letting me know of ‘slip-ups’.”

Doppio gave her a small, but sincerely grateful look, smiling softly…before he groaned, leaning back on his chair. Tipping his head back as he blew air into his cheeks. “Uuuugh… Okay, he’s been better, but…he still happens to be by whatever room we’re using for meetings. A-and I’m pretty sure he’s addressed the people I’m meeting by name before they introduce themselves, and I know it isn’t just that he’s met them before. Kaito’s awful with names, and if he’s genuinely meeting someone for, like, the second time, it always takes him a second to click.”

“And…” Doppio’s face pinched, holding the expression for a moment as he thought. “I haven’t gotten the full story from anyone? But I think Kaito went full Kaito-mode on one of my friends the other day. Prince Kokichi came by to ask Arven for our friend’s name, and he ended up mentioning that he was making a care basket, and…when I asked Josie, o-our friend, about stuff during chess club this week, um… He’s…actually been out of school all week, apparently, he said he’s just been dealing with some health stuff, and did run into Kaito, but…”

The pinched frown grew. “...Kaito’s been…really mopey. And touchy about being overbearing…which he kinda gets when he doesn’t know how to fix a problem so he massively overcompensates. It’s…kind of been infuriating if we can’t get into, like…an unrelated conversation.”

“It’s not your responsibility to manage his moods,” Dr. Mariah said, making a mental note of ‘memorizing names of the potential guardians’ thing. She’d pass that along to Miss Crystal, who was actively working on the whole ‘stalking’ issue that this had become. “Though, I am aware he had an incident with another teenager and has been taking pains not to, as he keeps calling it, ‘Doppio it’ again. But again, that’s not your responsibility. All I mean by asking is to ensure that he hasn’t been crossing the lines again. If he’s depressed and moping about it? Leave him to mope. He’ll come around in time.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with keeping your distance from him until he’s managed to pull it together. Kaito has his own support system, you don’t have to volunteer to be one of them. If you want to maintain a relationship with him, you’re allowed to wait until it feels rewarding to do so.”

“And… while I’d encourage you to use your own resources, if you like, I can pass along to Kokichi that Kaito’s been stalking your meeting areas still. His husband is part of Kaito’s support network, and that includes helping him through his worst impulses. Would you like me to talk to him?”

Doppio’s expression went dry and sour as he learned that his name had become a cautionary phrase for the prince. Fantastic. Glad he was a cautionary tale for other teenagers. Dimitri really didn’t know the damn arrow he’d dodged by being well-adjusted. By now he had surmised that Fiora had a strained relationship with her dad, and he just hoped that Kaito never picked up on it. 

Sighing, Doppio sipped from his tea. “Yeah… For the most part I think I…have been distancing? Mostly just because things have been so busy… Between the meetings, a-and Arven and I finishing our first pokemon set, and, um…apparently schools are having a lot of big tests around this time, and…”

Doppio blushed, looking to the side as he scratched his cheek. “I…was helping Arven, a-and it turned into Kiba too when we hang out sometimes, with some of their math studying and stuff… But I kinda started tutoring Tim and his friends a bit too? I don’t think I really teach well, b-but Kiba said it was helpful to know, like, immediately when something went wrong so figuring out the, uh…’what’ of it, I guess went faster. So…that’s been taking up some time. So Kaito and I kinda just…talk in passing, o-or if we’re cooking something…”

Frowning slightly, Doppio’s eyebrows knit as he thought about it. He could’ve gotten Kokichi involved himself and…he could remember actually threatening it to Kaito the last meeting. He kept hoping his anger at what Kaito was doing would be enough, but…

“...yeah,” Doppio sighed. “It… You bringing it up, a-and maybe with Kokichi too… That might be one of those late-stage eye-openers for him.”

“I believe his husband is already talking to him about it, in a general sense. I think that, more than anything, has stopped the issue rising up with the other teenager as well. Kokichi has a very strong effect on Kaito. In truth, I’d have gone to him sooner, had I not wanted to give Kaito a chance to correct himself on logic alone.”

“But, it’s good that otherwise, things have been progressing and stabilizing. Maintaining friends and hobbies is a wonderful sign that things are improving. And offering your time and intelligence to younger children is a very good sign about your own stability. That’s not a gift you could maintain otherwise. I’m sure Timothy and his friends are grateful.”

Well, deep down, anyway. In practice, the children probably were just frustrated at the difficulty of their schooling. But no doubt once they got old enough to understand what Doppio was offering them, they were grateful.

“That said, how have things been going with the meetings? How many have you had since our last session? I can’t imagine many in a few days, but you surprised me with the number last time too.”

‘A strong effect’...might actually be downplaying it. It was gross in an old-man-love kind of way, and…kind of nice in the fact that it clearly made them all (including Prince Shuuichi) so happy, but…Kaito really did look at Prince Kokichi like he strung the stars in the sky. It wasn’t so much that Kaito just did everything his husband told him to, because…well, Doppio was still having this issue with him, but it was plain that Kaito desperately never wanted to disappoint Kokichi. 

It wasn’t Doppio’s business but…well, he had a strong feeling Dr. Mariah knew that all too well. 

Smiling at his lap as Dr. Mariah praised him helping the younger kids (Doppio…really didn’t have any idea what he was doing, outside of the math problems themselves, but he did want to help), that pride soon faded with a sigh, Doppio tucking his bangs behind an ear. “Just one this time. It went alright,” he said, looking up with a shrug.

“Like… We’ve talked before. No one’s…mean. Or makes me uncomfortable, beyond just…” he shrugged again, “the general anxiety of it all. But…”

Doppio looked away guiltily. “...I just…have trouble keeping anyone in mind. I have the last initial meeting tomorrow, so…” That would be his…at least round one deadline, either choosing to have more meetings with someone, or asking Peach and Aurange to let him know when new applicants came in. “They, um… Are the people with the psychic symbol on their page.”

“Ah, I’ve been hoping this last one might be coming soon. I’m biased, of course, but those in the magical community do tend to shine, when it comes to adoptions. One side effect of being a community that often has to help itself. They’re very good at helping,” Dr. Mariah said, “Though, my optimism is purely that: Optimism. Have you and your handlers discussed what the next stage is, if none of the potential foster parents end up being what you’re hoping for?”

…Doppio had high hopes too. It felt unfair to everyone else that came for the meetings, but…well, it was okay for him to be unfair. Of all things to be picky about…he…he deserved to be picky about the people he would live with and who would care for him. About the people he would want to be his parents. 

He had once thought wanting a father like his dad were unreachably high standards. What those standards were and what they meant had changed but…Doppio deserved to have high standards! …as long as there were people that existed that could meet them. 

“Sort of,” Doppio nodded, “I stay in the castle, still under government guardianship, a-and every month when they get new applications ‘n stuff I can take a look like I did and set up more meetings. And…that can kind of go on indefinitely, until I’m legally 20. Or, at any point, I can say I don’t want to keep looking and just…be a ward of the castle without question ‘til I’m legally 20.”

“...it’s really not a worst-case scenario,” Doppio shrugged, rubbing his arm a bit, “I mean…Lake and Waku both grew up in the castle, and it is comfortable for me, a-as it’s been. I think I’d get kind of lonely once Arven moves back into his house, but…” Doppio huffed a small laugh. “I really don’t think he’d mind if I slept over a lot. A-and part of our…um, mutual criteria for guardians is that they won’t mind us spending time together, so…yeah.”

“Good,” Dr. Mariah said, unsurprised, “That isn’t a worst case scenario. But I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable with it, even if it’s not the worst thing in the world. Would you be okay, being a ward of the castle? Or waiting for longer, to get the right applicant?”

Doppio thought for a moment before nodding. “...yeah. Yeah, I think so. I’d feel worse, scrambling to choose someone just…out of a desire to have parents at all. I…” Doppio took a breath, his cheeks coloring. “...I want people who’d…love me, you know? And I want things to be…right. I-I’m not holding out for ‘perfect’, because…then I don’t think I’d ever choose anyone, but… I don’t know. I…”

He screwed his eyes shut, speaking forcefully. “I can do better than someone I just don’t hate.”

“You can.” Dr. Mariah agreed, “And you deserve that. This is entirely obtainable, Doppio. There are a lot of families and people out there looking for children. The right ones will come along. There is no hurry.”

Dr. Mariah looked Doppio over. It was curious, in some ways. The young man emotionally really was very well adjusted. His most emotional moments tended to revolve around Kaito, and in truth, Kaito did tend to push at things until he inevitably got extreme reactions either way. So even that wasn’t really a sign of instability. The boyfriend situation was going well, his social life was going well, and in a wild sort of way, his father going to jail for abuse was… going well. 

So, while Dr. Mariah couldn’t help but keep leaning into those topics as the Big Ticket things going on with Doppio… emotionally? They just weren’t. 

So, she’d check on one of the topics that did tend to generate an emotional response, though, she wasn’t sure if it was a truly debilitating issue in his life. Still, good to keep up with it, as she asked, “Have you had any concerns, in regards to the side effects of your defenses? You mentioned wanting to be able to explain to your potential parents the purpose of your tongue ring. Do you think you’ll be comfortable letting them see your shifting freckles someday?”

Now that Doppio was actually having meetings with people, it felt so much less like things were taking forever. Like he was just whiling away days in the castle while the world turned around him. …sure…like, maybe some of that was alleviated by him picking up hobbies and gaining friends that he liked to spend time with but…all the same. A lot of Doppio’s anxieties about time were easing off. 

Which left room to think about other anxieties. 

Sighing, Doppio self-consciously rubbed his cheek. “...maybe. I mean… If they’re people that I want as parents, then…I’d hope they’d be people who wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it. I’ve…thought sometimes about stopping the illusion when Arven and I are just hanging out in our room? But I just get…nervous.”

He pouted in Dr. Mariah’s direction. “Not about Arven’s reaction. He thinks it’s really cute… Just…my own, I guess. Or worrying about forgetting to make it again if someone knocks on the door, or we go out.”

“It’s a reasonable fear to have.” Dr. Mariah said, “It would invite a ton of questions that you don’t have any obligation to answer, not to mention it could put you at risk if the wrong person asked those questions.”

“But, I have wondered if the tongue ring might have led to a complication for an issue you already have.” Dr. Mariah admitted, tilting her head at him a bit, “You have difficulties showing skin to others, and essentially you were handed a full body skin suit. Which, again, was necessary, and I’m not encouraging you to get rid of it… but I have been concerned we’ve given you another article of clothes that you might find difficult to take off, in the future.”

Doppio nodded, though he blushed a bit as he tapped his teacup. “I do…get that concern. But I don’t really…use it to avoid being naked.” Blushing more, he looked to the side and shrugged. “A, uh, few weeks ago? …oh, um, after Arven’s birthday hike. It was really cold when we came back, so we went to the castle sauna to warm up…”

“It…didn’t even occur to me to use the illusion stone for…anything? Other than my freckles. I…” Doppio looked down, frowning. “...I started getting nervous and uncomfortable having my shoulders out but… I just kind of pushed through it. And it got easier, when I could focus more on talking with Arven.”

“Hmmm,” Dr. Mariah nodded, considering that, “...Doppio, do you have any desire, for this to be something you’d feel comfortable doing someday? Exposing yourself to others? It’s one of those things that really only matters if it matters to you. And it’s also one of those things that can only be helped if it matters to you.”

“So, while keeping in mind that it is something you can change your mind about as time goes on… does it? Concern you?”

Puffing his cheeks a little, Doppio thought for a moment before nodding. “At least lately, it’s not really something that bothers me a lot… But I’d like to…” he shrugged, “like, go swimming? And feel alright? And I have clothes that I’m not comfortable wearing anymore that I want to. I don’t think I’d ever want to be a nudist or anything, but…wearing something seasonally appropriate in the summer without a thought, or…e-even being comfortable changing in front of my boyfriend… I do want to get there one day.”

“Most people never get ‘nudist’ comfortable,” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, tapping her fingernails against her journal, “Which is largely why I try not to stress that avoiding exposure is necessarily an issue that needs to be fixed. Comfort with personal exposure tends to be a purely social concept, and every single person you’ll meet will have a level of exposure they’re strictly not comfortable with, no matter how hard anyone argues it with them. The same person who’d feel entirely comfortable in a bathing suit at the beach would feel humiliated and ashamed wearing that same outfit in a building, even around the exact same people. Simply because that fear of exposure is common in that context, is the only reason people don’t consider it a hindrance.”

“It’s the same with more private exposure as well. Even within the larger social system, there are more private beliefs in personal exposure that would keep people fully dressed even in situations where the people around them wouldn’t raise an eyebrow at their skin. The only time it’s an issue is when it becomes a hindrance in your personal life… and, I will admit, I’m a little curious how you came to feel the way you do about it. Personal exposure tends to be a learned idea. Was this level of privacy something your father practiced?”

He did feel like his feelings towards exposure were a little more…pronounced, but…maybe not all that much, in actuality. Even indoors Shino tended to be covered head to toe, and during their few lessons so far, Hinata’s workout clothes tended to be on the modest side. She’d actually told him that she’d live in a hoodie if she could, but the looser sleeves made it hard to show armwork which…was pretty important for Gentle Fist. Doppio had felt really touched, honestly, that she had chosen to forgo a certain amount of comfort to better help him. 

Maybe it just felt so big because…it was so different than before. 

Doppio’s expression tightened into a light wince. “Uh, well… Dad did spend a lot of time in robes. His whole privacy thing, and sometimes even being inside with the curtains drawn and the lights off wasn’t enough. But…the clothes he actually liked to wear? Um… Dad’s fashion sense is…” Doppio looked around the office, searching for an appropriate word. “...forward.”

“And at least at the start, when I didn’t really get clothes, the ones he suggested that I get were, uh…similar.”

“I did hear that his privacy needs were a little more extreme than usual.” Dr. Mariah said, “And of course, you’ve told me before how dark he kept the home. Is it possible you’ve inherited some of his privacy desires?”

Doppio frowned, pulling his teacup closer to himself. “...it’s possible. I mean… I’ve never really considered myself, like…flashy? I always felt really proud of being inconspicuous. But not really…to the point where I specifically try to hide? Not…really until I started feeling bad about my body.”

His shoulders dropped a bit, his voice softening. “...I don’t want to become my father.”

“In my professional opinion? I don’t see you on some sort of parth towards never wanting to be seen by anyone, ever.” Dr. Mariah reassured, putting up her fingers one by one as she explained, “One, you have a much larger, personal social circle than he allowed himself to have. Your interest in maintaining that circle will help keep you from any strong isolation desires.”

“Two, as I stressed before, there’s nothing actually wrong with a certain level of shyness about your body. It only becomes an issue if it becomes debilitating in some way, and I can’t say it has yet. If you don’t feel debilitated? It’s not. And so far our only major concern seems to be wanting to feel comfortable changing around Arven, which is a reasonable and obtainable goal.”

“And three, you’re just not like your father on a fundamental level.” Dr. Mariah said, putting up her third finger, before resting her hand, “If you were, none of this would have happened. Up to and including you indulging Arven or Kaito in the first place. The major changes in your life were jumpstarted by a willingness to allow other people to care about you. This was a willingness your father didn’t have, and what allowed his isolation to get as bad as it was.”

“That said… can you remember when you first started noticing your body?” Dr. Mariah asked, “Good, bad. Just making observations about it. You’re young enough where the first time might be clear to you.”

It wasn’t just the isolation, but…Dr. Mariah’s points still stood. Doppio had some similarities to his father. That was just true, whether from being raised by him, or…literally having been a part of his psyche, maybe. But Doppio wasn’t actually his dad. Again, that had been the whole problem. And…now it was something of a comfort. Doppio just…had some tendencies to keep an eye on, he supposed, knowing how out of control they had the potential to get…though even that wasn’t unique to just his situation. 

Nodding, Doppio flushed, scowling at his knees. “I was walking by Arven’s school on one of my days off… I think it might’ve actually been, like…the second day we knew each other? I wasn’t even coming by to see him, just walking by…” Doppio looked to the side with a frustrated pout. “...some assholes at his school cat-called me…but like…mean.”

“I know it’s stupid and that what they said doesn’t matter, a-and that wasn’t even the first time I’d been cat-called! But…” Doppio sighed, “...just ever since then, I just… Am aware of my body. And feel bad…”

“Hmmm, I see…” Dr. Mariah tilted her head, brushing back her hair a bit, “People can be very casually cruel, about appearances. Especially children. I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t even the only one made insecure by those exact same people. Most bullies have a preferred form of harassment and stick to it, regardless of who they’re focusing on.”

“Can you walk me through what happened?” Dr. Mariah asked, “And if you can’t, that’s okay as well. Sometimes what we remember most is how we felt in the moment, rather then what anyone actually said. The memory is still valid, and still can be worked through.”

“Yeah… Everyone I’ve talked to says the Rabbits suck. I don’t…really get how they can keep bullying people if no one likes them, but…” Doppio shrugged a little. “Mostly I hear about them doing, like…physical stuff, and people just being aggravated or annoyed, but…words don’t really bother Arven much, so I could just be hearing around those things.”

Sighing, Doppio set his teacup down and sat back a bit. “...it was raining and I was heading to the pond to look for frogs. But as I passed…I guess they were just hanging out in the rain? And they called out to me and…I dunno. I probably should’ve just kept walking, but people can get pretty annoyed if you ignore them, and Dad told me to stay out of trouble, so… As soon as I got close, though, they started getting mean about things? And, like…pointing stuff out about my body…” Doppio frowned, crossing his arms over himself. “So I told them to…basically fuck off, and I tried to leave, but one of them grabbed me and…I-I was trying not to start a fight… Arven showed up then, and I think he was gonna fight on my behalf, but then a girl from his class, Penny, bribed the Rabbits to go away by giving them homework answers and…then Arven skipped the rest of school to hang out with me.”

“You don’t necessarily need everyone’s approval to be unkind to people. Sometimes a social group consists entirely of people who are friends with each other, and are just terrible to anyone outside of that group. They can seem well-liked just because they’re always around the friend group that excludes everyone else, but that doesn’t make them well-liked in general. It just makes them look more impressive by a general ‘herd’ mentality.” Dr. Mariah explained, before sighing, “And more often than not, they’re all trapped with each other anyway. Having burned every bridge outside of the group, and still treating each other terribly within it as well. Hanging together, in the most morbid use of the term.”

“One of them grabbed you?” Dr. Mariah frowned, “I can see why that would have stuck with you then. Insults are one thing, but added in with a threat of physical violence? That’s the sort of memory that sticks to a person. How do you feel about it now, reflecting on it?”

Sure, but… In Doppio’s mind, he didn’t get how they got away with it if no one liked them. He knew, vaguely, that teachers were supposed to keep an eye on those sorts of things…but more tangibly? Was no one else…insulting back? Fighting back? He guessed Penny’s hypothetical but likely real group was, but…

Doppio sighed, looking a little annoyed. “I wish I punched him. I mean…I got drowned like two days later, so if I was trying to keep from getting in trouble with my dad… Unless it ended with an arrest, I don’t think he actually would’ve cared.”

“I think we’ve all had moments where a good punch in the face would have felt if nothing else a bit cathartic.” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, “...but, as a none-hypothetical, let’s explore that. If only because it might help you with your feelings about it. Do you have any desire to confront them about what they said? Or one of them in particular? If I can remind you, Epakohta is coming up. It’s not an unrealistic desire.”

Doppio blinked, before considering that. Epakohta was coming up…and he could participate. The kind of legal trouble he’d been in wasn’t the kind that would exempt or ban him for this year’s and…Doppio didn’t have a broader reason to keep his head down anymore. Sure, he was still kind of a private person, but participating in festivals was…well within his abilities. And not outside of his wants. 

Chewing his cheek as he thought it through, Doppio slowly nodded. “...you know…I-I think I would. Maybe not just for that but…for just being a dick to me, and to Arven and everyone else too. I dunno which of them started the name-calling stuff, but the guy that grabbed me… I could ask Arven…or maybe Elthea for his name, so I can put in an Epakohta request.”

“It might not solve the issues he created for you, jumpstarting your body insecurities. But, there can be something therapeutic in taking direct action against someone who harmed you. It might at least take some of the power of his words away for you.” Dr. Mariah advised, “That’s half of what Epakohta is meant to be. A safe, legal way to gain catharsis and agency back. A good number of those events are centered around slights, rather than anything explicitly illegal. As you can imagine, a lot of those slights are just pure insults that need addressing.”

“So, that’s a potential action in your future to find some peace with the encounter. But outside of that, in regards to how those words are affecting you now… are they? Is what these ‘Rabbits’ said what you reflect on, when you’re feeling insecure? Or did they start a path down a mindset that’s reinforced by something else?”

Dr. Mariah paused, “...that feels like a vague question. What I mean by that is, when you are feeling insecure, do you hear them? Or are you thinking new, unkind things about your body? Another answer could be that its not even a matter of feeling bad about your body, as well, but more not inviting others to say something bad about it.”

It probably wouldn’t ‘fix’ anything, true. But…well, if no one else was fighting them, Doppio wanted to express his frustration with just…how bullshit the Rabbits were. They may do as they please, being shitheads to Doppio and his friends, but…well, at least once a year, Doppio was going to show that he wasn’t going to stand for it. He probably wouldn’t even be past beginner level in Gentle Fist by the time Epakohta rolled around, but maybe he would have a leg up, just in practicing something active. 

Frowning a little in confusion at Dr. Mariah’s next inquiries, Doppio brushed his bangs back as he thought. “...uh… I… I think at first it was them. I know they said some stuff about my chest, and that really bothered me… But now…”

He sighed a bit in frustration, bringing his legs up to cross on the edge of the couch cushion. “...part of it is just…bodily awareness at all? And it was right around I started using my abilities, so that all just…got mushed up into one aware ball of feelings and sensations that were just…confusing and uncomfortable. And…I really don’t like other people making comments about my body,” he frowned. “Except for Arven…even someone saying I look nice is uncomfortable.”

Doppio looked down with a frown. “...Prince Kokichi talked to me about this, before, so…when I say uncomfortable, even that’s not as bad as it was. He said it can be hard and frustrating living in a world where your body is… Some kind of value judgment for other people? Objectified. When all that should matter is ‘you’, the things you do and say…”

“...but he said your body is you too. And while no one else should have a say on it, and it shouldn’t belong to anyone else, literally or conceptually… It’s still…you. And how you exist in the world. And there’s a lot of things you can change about it, to exist in a way you like, but…at the core of it, you…shouldn’t be mean to the thing that allows you to be in the world. That…you exist, and that’s good, and…that’s the long and short of it.”

He looked up with a small shrug. “...that helped.”

“Ah, our prince does have a way with words, doesn’t he?” Dr. Mariah asked, if a little amused. She was aware of Doppio’s occasional light jealousy, when it came to Arven gushing over the Ouma prince. It was sweet, childish things. Nothing really alarming in any of it.

Though, Dr. Mariah knew nothing about Kokichi’s own body image issues. It had never come up in relationship therapy, and while he did like to spend time with them occasionally, Dr. Egami absolutely refused to indulge their desires to talk about their mutual patients. Ford was a bit like that too, actually, though he wasn’t above the occasional knowing nod or chuckling at an inside joke. Well, that and they were all lightly offering their services to him too, for things he had gone through. Proper psychology, meetings and closed rooms and guided discussion, didn’t tend to work well on psychologists who were aware of all the little tricks behind the curtains, but talking it out with your friends who understood psychology the same way you did did tend to help. 

“And it’s good advice, truthfully. I have patients that go the opposite routes, of course. Some have processed their discomfort more in-line with how your father did: they avoided all signs of themselves, avoided being seen by others. I recall one case where we had to go a bit to extremes, as far as therapy went. She had a fear of her hair being seen as being ‘unruly’ by others that was progressing to such an extreme rate that she was refusing to go outside, refusing to go to work, refusing guests in her home. There’s be nothing wrong with her hair that anyone other than she could see, but what she envisioned mortified her to the point where she couldn’t be in anyone’s presence at all, including mine, to the point where I was called in for an emergency session and speaking to her through the door.”

“...I asked her to cut all of her hair off.” Dr. Mariah recalled, “It was a very dangerous request. It could have made the situation much, much worse… but I got lucky. The loss of her hair took away the anxiety almost instantaneously. She never grew it back. Sometimes she wore wigs, but most of the time she didn’t, and her self-image issues stopped being debilitating after that.”

“So, sometimes, the answer to a self-image issue is to take away the problem itself,” Dr. Mariah explained, “But when that becomes the case, it’s important to be honest with yourself what the fundamental issue actually is. If I had been wrong, and she had cut off all her hair and we discovered her body image wasn’t just grappling with her hair, but with her face? I don’t know if I could have ever talked her out of that bathroom. That’s why it’s important to know.”

“And being judged by others, to be clear, is an entirely valid answer to that question. There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with how you perceive yourself at all. And if we’re sure it’s not? Then working through together how to battle social anxieties is the next step.”

Doppio frowned in sympathetic worry at the anecdote Dr. Mariah shared. It was good that the woman now felt better--to the point of consenting the story to be told to other patients--but…ooph. That sort of anxiety was nightmarish. 

But…as for what his problem actually was? 

Doppio chewed on his cheek for a bit. “...I think part of it is just being judged by others… Like… For a long time I was pretty comfortable, and though I said I’d been cat-called before…I didn’t really…get a lot of it. It wasn’t until I talked with Arven about it did I realize some, um…certain aspects about incidental work things… But…I think another…”

He furrowed his brows. “...I don’t want to not call it discomfort, but…” Looking up with a slightly plaintive look, Doppio shrugged. “...I haven’t even had a body for two years. And while I don’t really remember anything from before then…sometimes I get the impression that there was a before for me. And that’s… For that, it’s not even just…internal? I don’t know, maybe feeling overwhelmed with stuff is just me, but…I dunno.”

Pensively, Doppio’s gaze drifted up. “...some of the first conversations I ever had with Angelo were about things… The world? Feeling so…big. …saying it like that doesn’t even seem right, but… It is. I’m trying, but…” Doppio felt his face heat up a little as he shyly made eye-contact with Dr. Mariah. “...learning how to exist from nothing would…take more time than just…a year and a half, right?”

“Oh, much longer,” Dr. Mariah agreed, smiling lightly at the shy look, “Doppio, I am an almost incomprehensible age, in comparison to you. And I still have difficulties with my appearance, sometimes. It does get easier as time goes on and you get older, wiser, all of that. But, if life is a race? It’s not one you can win. It’s always about more gracefully running it.”

“So, for a moment, let’s put aside your insecurities and say it’s an entirely normal feeling of, not even just being two years old, but let’s even say fourteen. Believe it or not, you are far from unique in having body issues at the cusp of prepubescent. Struggling to cope with new revelations about your body is very teenager of you, in all honesty.” Dr. Mariah said, “So, putting aside that it’s something that needs to be actively worked on right this moment, let’s go back to why you felt the need to work on it in the first place.”

Tapping at her journal, Dr. Mariah ‘recalled’, “You have clothes you want to wear that you feel insecure about. You’d like to be able to swim comfortably. You’d like to be more comfortable less dressed around Arven. These are all things you can work on outside of being comfortable being seen and commented on in general. Describe one of the outfits you wish you could wear?”

Doppio had gotten something of an impression that most people didn’t ‘have it all figured out’, but…learning to exist? People had a lot of empathy for babies because they were suddenly thrust into a world where they had to learn literally everything--everything was something new. Just by the fact that you’d experienced something once meant that it was no longer new…but he supposed that no one had or…likely would ever see literally everything in the universe. So…for everyone, there was always something that would be new. 

So…he was learning, just like everyone else. 

Being a teenager, just like other teens. Doppio sighed, “Yeah, Kaito kinda said that too, when I first brought this kind of stuff up to him… Though he said that the ways my abilities make me feel was a skin sensitivity.”

Tracing the band of his watch, Doppio shrugged a little. “...there’s a sweater I like? It’s a little short, uh, mostly, but the sides of it kinda… I-it doesn’t actually, but it looks like it criss-crosses down, and there’s gaps…” Doppio paused, struggling to describe fashion. “...it’s just neat. …but it’d expose my lower abdomen to wear and…it’s not really the kind of thing you layer…”

“Skin sensitivity?” Dr. Mariah asked, a little confused, “I’m curious what he might have meant by that. Kaito does sometimes have a way of bluntly noticing an issue that… the only way I can describe it is, because of his habits of focusing on people in very particular, narrow ways, he tends to notice issues connected to those particular things he’s looking for sooner than others. Though, sometimes that narrow-focus is his undoing as well. It’s always a bit curious to try to navigate his specific mindset.”

“But, regardless… do you want to be able to show skin in the outfit? The solution could be something as simple as adding a layer of thin netting, in the holes?” Dr. Mariah offered, “Like stockings, to cover what otherwise just looks like bare legs. It makes people feel more modest, to have at least a thin layer of clothing between themselves and others.”

“Um…” Doppio trailed off, trying to remember. “...he told me Prince Shuuichi has something where his skin feels too ‘bright’? Or…body, or something. But that it’s a bad idea to touch him when that happens, so when I asked about the snapping and peeling feelings, ‘cause he made it seem normal, he assumed it was something like that. He is pretty good about respecting it too, like not touching me when it happens, even if he’s pretty awful about personal space otherwise…”

Doppio thought about adding a super thin underlayer to his more revealing clothes. It…was something that felt more in line with his dad’s sense of style, but…the concept wasn’t a bad one. “...I could give that a shot, and see how it feels,” he shrugged. 

‘Bright’... “Oh,” Dr. Mariah realized, understanding coming over her expression, “Shuichi’s panic attacks. One of Shuichi’s triggers during his panic attacks is being touched. It’s apparently an understood thing with his group that if he has a panic attack, the wise decision is to be nearby and calm, without touching him or overwhelming him with questions. Perhaps Kaito thought what you were describing to him were panic attacks, and he likely didn’t want to make you feel insecure by talking about it more seriously. One of Kaito’s coping mechanisms is to treat moments of trauma a little casually, so I imagine he tries that for others.”

To an extent. Dr. Mariah got the sense sometimes that she had missed something fairly big in their lives, when it came to Kaito reacting to Kokichi’s trauma. Kokichi, as was often the case with Katio, seemed to be an exception to the rule.

“Shall we make it a homework assignment? See if some mild alterations to your clothe gives you the impression of security, even if it doesn’t block much more skin from being seen?” Dr. Mariah asked. 

Hmm… Doppio wasn’t sure if what he had said could be construed as panic attacks…for as much as he usually did panic when he used his abilities. At least back then. Doppio had felt comforted, at least partially, by Kaito talking about how all the weird things he was feeling was just…being a teenager. Though, when he talked about those sensations, Kaito had mentioned they were a little more unusual, but nothing to be shocked by. Maybe that was his experience with panic attacks.

…though he had actually seen Doppio during a panic attack so… He wasn’t sure. 

“Yeah, I can do that,” Doppio nodded, “I will…probably need to go shopping after this, then.” He wasn’t sure what he’d do with netting or nylons if it didn’t help, but he could probably figure out something. 

Glancing at the clock, Doppio hummed softly. “Oh, um… Did the billing stuff work out for you, with the twice a week stuff? I did talk to King Aiichi, so…it should be regular, and not the emergency session amounts now.”

“It did, thank you for asking,” Dr. Mariah assured, tapping against her journal a bit. “Though, allow your guardian to worry about the billing. It is his job, after all, and our king is reasonably competent,” Dr. Mariah smiled lightly, before glancing at the clock, “Hmmm… so, yes, try altering your clothing to make it more comfortable for you. Swimming and Arven might both be trickier, longer discussions. Do you want to try to go through them now with the time we have left, or leave it as a starting point for our next session?”

Doppio matched the smile with a sheepish, more awkward one, before sighing softly. “....um, maybe for next time? I know it shouldn’t really be any different than how we did our sessions before, but I do kinda feel bad about going longer if we’re doing this twice a week…a-and it’s not an emergency or anything. And…I dunno.”

He shrugged a bit. “Maybe working stuff out with my clothes will help me sort my thoughts on the other stuff.”

“Getting more days with me doesn’t make the individual sessions less valuable. There’s no hurry. That said, giving you a few days to ruminate on it might help our discussion along,” Dr. Mariah agreed, standing up, “May I take your tea?”

“Oh! Um…” Doppio popped up from his chair, making a movement to pick up his teacup before hesitating…before picking it up but not passing it over to Dr. Mariah yet. “Um, I-I can bring the set into the kitchen, if you’d like!”

“Certainly, that would be very helpful. Thank you Doppio.” Dr. Mariah said, passing Doppio over her own cup. “Just leave them down there, Blair can help later. Good session today, you’re doing well.”

Doppio’s smile relaxed a bit as he took Dr. Mariah’s cup, giving a nod to her thanks. “It’s no problem! And, um, thanks. I’ll see you on Monday.” …without an emergency session making him see her three times in a week, hopefully.

-

He’d done it. It had taken them getting to a major city, and that major city being the one that they’d planned to linger in to avoid getting caught in Dicea’s harsh weather, but Deere had done it! Scouring the--...sheer multitudes--scope of Carbosi’s technological and entertainment scenes, Deere had found, well, oddly not a company, just a few people, who were putting on those light projection shows. And honestly they had been more than happy to ensure space for the visiting Luminary king, so…

Deere had done it! The mood around him could almost be described as pleasant, as he traveled down the hustling street, a certain accomplished air about him. 

He didn’t even care if Sou showed it, but his grace was sure to be pleased seeing the tickets Deere had gotten him. And…hopefully Sou would start to enjoy his forced vacation a little. 

Shin was currently smiling thinly at a Dicean guard, who was, once again, bringing Shin a list of the… minors. In his party who had been caught getting drunk out in the city. “I really am very sorry about this,” Shin had told them, and you know, he was! Shin giving a withering glance at the members of his party who were responsible, some who looked irritated and a few staring guiltily at their feet, as he said, “They’ve been warned several times now what the laws here are. I can assure you, this will be the last time this happens.”

The guard didn’t look convinced– this was the third time the guardforce had been sent to inform the Luminary party of their peoples citations– but, well, the message had been sent. 

Shin gave him a small bow of his head, watching the guard head off… tried to take a stabilizing breath… before he looked to the offenders with a small, wary smile, shrugging sheepishly as he said,  “Whelp, I guess I have no choice. The entire party can’t drink now. And everyone’s going to know it was you four.”

“Y-your grace!” One of the guards– it was a mix of two guards and two administrators, the four having created a small group of themselves in their time traveling– sputtered, bowing low as he argued, “We drank here, just like ordered! We just…”

“You left the hotel after getting drunk.” Shin still was smiling, but there was a hard edge to it as he said, “Which still made you minors, out drunk, in public. And I swear, if I have one more concerned Dicean citizen coming to us to tell us that you’re out there ‘flirting with the adults’--”

“Your grace, in my defense, I’m going to be 20 this month and–”

“You don’t have a defense. Why do you think you have a defense? I’m a king, when did I stop being king?” Shin asked, letting some of his frustration bleed through… before he sighed at the chastised look on their faces, “You all are ambassadors of Luminary while we’re here. Which means we’re model visitors, for the Diceans. I don’t care that you all have been drinking since 16. While you’re here, it’s illegal… except for you, at the end of the month. And until you all learn, now it’s against the rules for everyone to drink until you’re legal.” Shin said, looking to the oldest one. “After that, everyone else can drink. Understand?”

“Y… yes, your grace.”

“Good,” Shin said, smiling thinly, “Now go tell everyone.”

The four blanched, before shuffling off, about to deliver the bad news themselves to their older party members that they had messed up. Shin watched them go, waiting to feel bad about it, but… honestly, they had been in Dicea for over a month now. They knew the rules were different here. They were just being dumbasses, and they needed to learn.

Shin glanced over his shoulder, and sighed, settling into the tables that the hotel they were staying in provided in their first floor lounge, “Hear any of that, Deere? I’m sorry to say that goes for you too. No drinking for… I’m pretty sure something like two weeks? Is that guards birthday.”

Deere had been shucking off the cold as he got into the hotel (okay, he was a little impressed by this one. Every lodging they had was nice, of course, and he could acknowledge the charm, but…well, he supposed this was the difference in a major city. The royal family really did their stuff, booking a fancy place like this for them), hearing just the tail end of Sou scolding some of their party…again. Deere never really considered himself a kiss-ass, but given that he had had to field concerned and, at this point, exasperated Diceans about their party’s behavior…this was a time coming. 

“Woe is me, I’d just planned out all the locations for the biggest pub-hopping tour of the season… Drat. Have to delay it two years, I guess,” Deere drawled, walking towards the king with a small, covered yawn. “Maybe this will actually incentivize people to be stealthy about their drinking.”

…because king’s orders or not, you couldn’t stop the booze from flowing. This just meant that in attempts to avoid Sou’s wrath, the others might actually be successful in avoiding being discovered by Diceans while they were breaking the law. 

“Though you may have slowed other people’s fun today, I suppose this might be the best look at elite privilege in a while,” Deere hummed, before taking the ‘film’ tickets from his coat pocket, presenting them to Sou. “I believe I’ve found something you might find interesting.”

Shin groaned, having genuinely forgotten Deere was another one of his ‘minors’. Why did this small party have so many people who weren’t even twenty!? Kaede had known Dicea’s laws about that, right!? How hard would it have been to pick support staff and guards that were 20 and over!?

Maybe she had been trying to surround Shin with people his own age… ugh. 

“I hope the other party members are more heartbroken then you are. I’m not going to be a king that beats his subjects, but I desperately need someone to kick their asses. I don’t think these people understand how much trouble they could get this party into while we’re here. Did you know Delilah got propositioned as a prostitute yesterday, took them up on it, and then had a dispute over payment? Apparently escorts are very affordable in Dicea. I had to send Selka to smooth the whole thing over. Do you understand how fucking stupid it is, to suddenly be acting as a defacto pimp for a dumb servant who thought she’d make a quick buck off a misunderstanding? …she wasn’t wrong about him entirely offering her too little for her services, she’s a very pretty young woman, but auuuugh.” 

Shin groaned into his hands. It wasn’t that his party was… stupid, necessarily. Not really, despite his insults. They were just so… annoyingly people. Delilah had wanted to go out and get laid, and when she had been propositioned as an ‘Atuan’ escort, had decided to shrug and go along with it. Not thinking much past ‘what’s the harm’ before realizing she and the man had different ideas of what a normal price for that was. His ‘minors’ wanted to go out and drink and be bold and adventurous in a new country full of exciting new things. His guards went out and came back with black eyes and bloody noses and assurances that it had been minor disputes. 

Shin needed them to be model citizens who backed away from disputes and took no risks and wanted for nothing more invigorating than a new bit of scenery. And it was frustrating, because it felt more and more like he’d have to just trap them in the hotel for a while before their fear of not getting the chance to go out and do anything was stronger than their desire to go out and be stupid people with stupid desires like ‘fun’ or ‘excitement’. 

Shin didn’t love being Dictator No-Fun for his damn vacation, and he was really hoping forcing the group to peer pressure each other into greater caution would help…

…but that was a ‘big picture’ problem. And smaller picture? Shin glanced at the tickets that Deere had brought him and, after a moment, let his eyes widen, “Really? You found one!?”

Deere sighed tiredly, able to imagine just how disastrous that had been. All things considered…he was an incredibly boring person. Deere hadn’t been kidding when he’d offhandedly told Sou that his ideal vacation would be to sleep for weeks on end. When he was feeling adventurous, Deere got interesting ingredients to bake with. Seeing new cities was interesting, he supposed, but between his duties in keeping track of the party and the cold weather which made him just want to huddle up somewhere warm for a nap even more, Deere just…had little inclination to do things. 

An attitude, he greatly understood, that was completely polarized by the rest of the party. In some ways, it was almost like hearing about people brag about their activities during leave in the mess hall again. But somehow even more illegal, without the people even really trying. And this time, Deere was one of the people meant to wrangle them…though not the primary person, for which he could sympathize with Sou’s frustration. 

…all the better to present a fun break, then. 

Smirking softly, Deere nodded. “They were pretty excited to offer me tickets, once they heard you were in town. I get the feeling we could negotiate a recurring reservation, but they didn’t want to come off as too expecting. There’s a showing tonight, if your grace wishes to go.”

The smile fading a little, he shrugged. “It’s five tickets. As your escort, I have to insist on you choosing people to act as security…but who is up to you.” Considering this was the one thing Deere figured Sou would have any amount of enthusiasm for, he hadn’t wanted to put together a detail that would suck the fun out of the film showing…but he really couldn’t conscionably encourage the king to go alone. 

Shin licked his lips lightly, staring at the tickets in fascination. An actual film…maybe they’d let him look at the machinery. Shin knew a bit about it already, though he’d probably need someone to show him the practical, real world mechanics of running it. It was actually relatively simple projection technology, something they’d had for years, but the sheer expanse of it, the film reels had to be insanely big…

“Well, you’re coming, obviously,” Shin said, putting down two tickets to represent himself and Deere, “Unless you have some objection? It’s essentially just a show, you could literally sleep in your chair and it’d disrupt nothing.”

Obviously, huh? As much as Deere did follow Sou like a shadow for many things… Huh. Well. 

With a small smile, subconsciously trying not to look too pleased, Deere shook his head a little. “No objections here. Especially when you know just how to sweeten the deal for me.” And…he was a little curious. While Deere had been fastidiously looking around wherever they met for anything that could align with Sou’s actual hobbies since their conversation, he still wouldn’t call himself particularly knowledgeable about up-and-coming technology. Seeing what a film was actually like would be interesting. 

“Still, unless you decide to bring one of the guards, I’ll likely stay awake to,” Deere shrugged, “actually do my job.” He frowned, looking a little suspicious. “I heard rumors once about hypothetically performing an assassination during a photography session? I have to figure it’d be finicky in a whole new way with a film showing, but that’d be an incredibly embarrassing way to let you die.”

“It doesn’t seem likely. The projections they use for films are much bigger than cameras. And it’d be high up. Imagine trying to shoot someone with a crossbolt the size and weight of a small boulder… or large rock, I dunno, some natural, small heavy thing.” Shin shrugged, tapping the other three tickets, “...ugh, I should invite the priestess. She’d love it.”

Pushing aside another ticket for her, he considered the last two tickets, “And… I guess two guards, I suppose. Not those two idiots I just punished, two other guards. You pick who, and if you don’t want to, tell Priestess Selka to do it, she’ll likely consider it an honor.”

Shin was giving the tickets another pleased little look… before he squinted at the title, “Legend of the Spring Slasher? Isn’t this the dead kids thing you were talking about back in… soooome town.” Shin squinted, “...I can’t recall now.”

Honestly, Deere was more concerned about sitting in a mostly dark room looking one direction for an hour or two, but even that concern wasn’t much. A few hours’ prep time could only make for a sloppy attempt, and even less if they did fill out the group of five with capable people. 

Which…Deere had no idea if Selka really was, at least in that kind of situation, but…ha. For all his griping, Sou did consider others quite a lot. Selka would love a novel experience like this. 

Nodding that he’d find guards for the night--or hoist the responsibility onto Selka--Deere sighed, barely not rolling his eyes. “Toneido, your grace. Their, at this point, legendary serial killer. Apparently these film producers have made a horror story loosely based on that history.”

Deere snorted in quiet amusement. “They were actually quick to emphasize ‘loosely’, when I mentioned being familiar with the story. It’s been half a century, but I guess they didn’t want to catch any flak about disrespectful parody from elders from that time. Considering it’s half considered a point of tourism, I don’t think they’d be in much trouble.”

“I imagine the families of the people represented are getting a portion of payment. That’s how it’d work in Kimagashine. Money talks… though, I’m not sure if this would fly in Luminary. That whole ‘speaking for the dead’ thing you all get so hyped up about. Never understood that one. What do the dead care what you say?”

“...” Shin clicked his tongue a little, before admitting, “I’m aware of what a hassle it’s been to find one of these since I brought it up a few weeks ago. I’m not sure what to do as thanks. Do you… want money? I could thank you in coin. I have, just, an incomprehensible amount of funds at my disposal. The amount of coin that perhaps an individual family just should not have access too, really.” Shin mused dryly. “Would you like some?”

Deere shrugged. The ‘loosely’ bits he had assumed meant that the characters that would be based on the serial killer’s victims would be heavily divorced from their real world counterparts. Even for a different culture, he just…couldn’t imagine anyone being alright with showing dramatizations of real children’s deaths. 

“A person’s memory and reputation is all we can give the dead after they’re gone,” Deere mused. “Over the course of their trials, a person may come to accept whatever someone may say about them here…but it still seems pretty disrespectful to hear it, for the rest of us here. Speaking for the dead is like parading their corpse as a mascot--sure, that body is just an object now, but it’s distasteful, and changes how they’re remembered.”

At least that’s how it had felt for him. Concerning the dead, he preferred to rely on what he had known about the person, how they had chosen to represent themself to him, rather than accepting some third party, sanitized, agenda-filled broad statement. It was the least they could do for a person’s legacy, until they all ended up in paradise and the dead could speak for themselves again. 

Snorting a huff of a laugh, Deere smirked shallowly. “I wouldn’t say no to a raise. But maybe to my own detriment…I’m just trying to do my job, your grace.” Deere shrugged, giving Sou a plain look. “A vacation you can’t enjoy isn’t much of a vacation at all. Maybe seeing a few films won’t make the whole trip and political nonsense worth it, but I’d imagine it’d still be a few nice moments worth appreciating amid it all.” 

“Well, thank you… and sure, I can get you a raise… probably.” Shin tilted his head, “I’ll bring it up with Kaede my next phonecall with her.”

Shin glanced down at the tickets again… before smiling. 

This would be interesting.

-

It was a surprisingly small space for, again, what Shin considered one of the biggest technological advancements of the recent age. Sure, sure, yes, telephones were the actual biggest advancement in their era and probably would continue to be. It was hard to overestimate the sheer benefit of instantaneous, long-distance communication, the telephone would likely change the world at a speed that historically was basically unprecedented. It would change everything, and the world would likely struggle to keep up for… well, centuries.

…but this technology was still really cool, okay? Shin looked up curiously at the hole where the projector would be pushed through to light up the far wall once the lights went dark, everyone scooting into their seats. It wasn’t even a lot of people, which blew Shin’s mind a little. How were people not lining up at the door, putting themselves on waiting lists for an experience like this?

Selka looked around the square, darkly painted room with a small, curious smile… before saying brightly, “Well, this is nice! I can see why you were excited, your grace!”

“It hasn’t started yet.” Shin said dryly, giving Selka a bit of side-eye, “...you don’t think I’m excited for a dark small room, do you?”

“Atua made a world where tastes and preferences are as vast and great as the speckled desert itself! Atua be pleased!” 

“Atua be pleased,” Guardsman Ciro echoed, his short green hair shifting lightly over his forehead as he crossed his arms, keen, intelligent eyes looking around the room, “...could we not have bought out the whole room? This feels risky, if I may, your grace.”

Sou may not have been excited for a dark small room, but Deere felt as though the demons were testing him. A cozy, incredibly dark room where people were gently discouraged from talking (at least when the show started) with seats that seemed far too comfortable for a general attraction? And, despite the small audience, it was a general attraction, by Deere’s definition. 

Ugh, it was perfect for a nap…

“While it seems to be the point, visibility is rather low,” Guardsman Caeldori agreed, wordlessly keeping in synced tandem with Ciro, always seeming to look where he wasn’t. 

Deere sighed, bemoaning his duty to keep awake, even with the guards. “The proprietors are keeping the good faith of respecting the tickets people already bought. Perhaps if your grace wants to see more films during our stay, buying a private showing would be more feasible.”

“I suppose we can make an effort to do that next time,” Shin suddenly smiled, gazing at the two guardsman warmly, “I appreciate you putting in your very best effort for this indulgence of mine.”

“Of course, your grace.” Ciro nodded, still keeping look out.

“And, just so you know, I am aware of how unfortunate it is, that you’d been put on prohibition along with your younger counterparts. I do worry if there might be some retaliation towards them for that. Anything either of you have heard?”

“No, your grace.” Ciro said confidently.

Shin’s smile strained as it widened, “Nothing? Nothing at all? Maybe some group ribbing?”

“No… your grace?” Ciro said less confidently, no longer certain what the king was looking for as an answer, “It’s a difficult situation, the group understands.”

“...well, good!” Shin smiled brightly, leaning back into his seat and sighing, “Greeeat. Good.”

“It’s okay, I had a talk with the whole group about patience and understanding, and taking this group restriction as a cautionary measure to keep our younger members safe, rather than as a punishment meant to degrade or enrange,” Selka whispered to Shin, “It took some doing, but everyone’s on board~”

“.... I need a drink.” Shin muttered. 

Agreeing with Ciro, Caeldori nodded, “It’s a pleasure to accompany you, your grace.” She had been a little surprised to, honestly. Embarrassingly, Caeldori wasn’t familiar at all with ‘film projections’ and what she had been able to glean in the few hours between Deere asking her to guard the king that evening and heading out was…not much. Just that through a method of, more or less, instant photography, hundreds of tiny pictures were captured onto a ‘film reel’, and then were fed through a lightbox machine at a particular rate which would then project the images much larger onto a dark wall, thus mimicking the images moving in real time. However, anything more informative than that would’ve required more prep time… A shame, she had been slacking… 

…really, Caeldori had a hunch that Deere had asked her, despite her knowledge shortcomings, because she was over the Dicean legal age, and thus would have less of an issue with the king’s new decree. Not that she tended to indulge as much as her compatriots anyway. 

“As you reminded us, we are representatives of Luminary during our stay in Dicea; while the difference in laws has a learning curve, no one wants to cause trouble on your behalf, your grace. We understand this precaution.”

Hearing Sou’s mutter, Deere slouched in his seat and smirked a bit. “We could stop by a bar or liquor store, but most of us would have to wait outside for you, your grace.”

In truth, Shin couldn’t really handle his alcohol. One drink tended to obliterate him, and usually not in a fun way. A light beer was sometimes okay, but even then it was begging for stomach problems later. He was pretty sure the main reason he hadn’t become an alcoholic by this point despite being stuck for long, loooong periods of time with nothing to do and nowhere to go and plenty of booze around was purely because he literally, physically wasn’t capable of it.

All more the pity, he supposed. It’d be nice to turn his brain off, as he heard even more confirmation that his plan to get the group to peer pressure each other was falling apart due to Selka’s even greater peer pressure influence. Auuuuuugh, fucking priestess.

“Oh, oh, it’s starting, it’s starting, isn’t it?” Said fucking priestess coo’d, leaning in to Shin and whispering excitedly, “Be honest with me, your grace, you haven’t spirited us away to a secret brothel show, have you?”

“You sound far too happy about that idea.” Shin whispered back, “Aren’t the brothels basically the enemies of the temples?”

“Only the management is,” Selka whispered back, “But some of the fun innovations they came up with are delightful under more ideal circumstances. I like to think soon the term ‘brothel show’ will be more of a historically traditional name for the shows that temples will also put on.”

“Oh… also, no. It’s a… I don’t know what to call it. History show.”

Selka pouted, leaning back with a huff, “Oh. Exciting.”

“...it’s about the murder of children?”

Selka just gave Shin a ‘what the fuck dude???’ look, before saying thinly, “Oh, much better than a brothel show, yes… suuuuure.”

It was, as Deere mentioned, a horror film. Taking the mystique and zeal around a real life tragedy, and turning it into…well…

A certain someone, cities away, had watched The Legend of the Spring Slasher with rapt awe. Taking in the sweeping intro shots of ‘marvelous machines’ and bright arcade games as…they had likely originally been intended, all the delight children could ask for. Especially a child who’d gaped, mind whirring as they tried to conceptualize the exact configuration of gears meant to make that crack bird fly, or the coin shelves jitter, or the self-playing piano sing. 

And that certain someone had only grinned in delight as the machines broke down and started dripping or spurting with blood and viscera, interspliced with…much more boring shots of newspapers alerting disappearances, safety infractions, and the eventual closing of the attraction restaurant. 

That someone, on their first viewing, had known they were in for a treat after that, as the footage faded into ‘present day’, a new security guard coming in for their first day to the newly reopened restaurant. 

In Carbosi, though? A butler somehow still was struggling not to fall asleep, while a guard used the ample, ah…pointedly horror shots to send glances around the room. 

Meanwhile, Priestess Selka had managed to grab Guardsman Ciro’s hand, clutching it tightly with both of hers while he winced and squirmed under the pressure of her grip. “Oh, what fun.” Priestess Selka said through a gritted smile, eyes dilating in alarm as a piano started spattering blood as it played itself.

Shin watched in interest, about as disturbed by the lore as he had been when he had first heard it: IE, not really. You couldn’t tell a tragedy without reflecting something someone had actually gone through, at least on some level, and Shin felt pretty personally disconnected from the event and places and people the story was about. 

But the pyrotechnics were very cool, along with the animatronic puppets that were meant to reflect the stuffed possessed figurines. Leaning into Deere, Shin whispered, “See how that rabbit sort of stutters and stops in between movements? Someone probably has a controller connected to a lot of wires just offscreen, which can let them ‘act’ through the scene more organically. If it was prescription movement, they wouldn’t have that little lagging stutter and stop. Very effective.”

Deere…didn’t really know what that meant. But he nodded all the same. “I imagine the film sets were quite crowded, then, if even the ‘inanimate’ actors needed to be present for…” he squinted, not really sure if this was the right word, “...naturalistic movement.”

“...oh,” he softly commented, as the nightguard nearly dove across the room to close a door, a thunk of something heavy slamming into it not even a second later. “Neat.” Choreographically, at least. 

“Do they not know who the slasher actually was?” Ciro whispered, glancing towards the entrance and behind them for a moment before refocusing, “Because based on the information provided, it feels like it has the previous watchman who keeps leaving the new on the notes. He knows too much about this otherwise.”

“I think it’s actually more likely it’s the new watchmen,” Priestess Selka, squeezing Ciro’s hand harder as she said accusingly, “Sure, he’s scared, but he knows something. Otherwise, why wouldn’t he just quit by this point?”

“A good night watchmen job can be hard to find.” Ciro mused.

Caeldori nodded in agreement. The way the nightguard had held their pay log to their chest after the first night seemed to her that the position was very lucrative. And, really, this was quite the dramatization, but what was a little mortal threat against a job that otherwise was retentive and had good pay? They were a guard, after all. 

“I believe that the inventor of the machines has something to do with it,” she murmured to the others. “The fact that they still work even with so much tampering… I think that’s a clue that the slasher isn’t just working haphazardly. They know these machines.”

Deere wasn’t sure the film would actually follow real life, but if it did…that wasn’t a bad guess. Apparently it had never been proven Charles Essei was the Spring Slasher, but it was a general assumption these days, and apparently the man had been a co-inventor of the ‘marvelous machines’. Though what Deere had heard from the legends, most people more closely associated him with the business side of the restaurant, and gave credit for most of the design and whimsy to his business partner.

Maybe that was what drove the man to murder. People had done worse for less. 

…still, he wasn’t about to ruin the mystery for the others. 

“...you don’t think it’s one of these vandals?” he lazily hummed, watching with indifference as one said vandal ran from the calls of the nightguard right into the sharp embrace of one of the animal machines, flesh almost exploding away into shreds in a manner that was so hacky it almost made him laugh. “The machines seem more aggressive than on past nights.”

“Going from ‘vandalism’ to ‘serial killing’ feels like too much of a jump, admittedly.” Shin whispered, tapping his fingers against his chin, “Though, it can admittedly be difficult to judge the sort of depravity a person is capable of. But making a blatant assumption that those who are the most obviously wicked are the biggest dangers around is begging for a knife in your back. It’s always the ones you least suspect…”

“...meaning?” Priestess Selka whispered.

“My guess it’s the older brother,” Shin whispered, squinting at the screen, “Bullying gone too far, maybe?”

“What, five times? Just statistically that doesn’t make sense, one of the kids would have almost died and lived to tell the tale.” Selka whispered.

“I’m telling you, he’s capable of something. At least for one of them he’s responsible, I’m calling it now.” Shin whispered back.

“Your grace, with all due respect, all the dead kids are clearly being killed by the same person–”

“Shhhhhh.” Someone behind them hushed.

“I will go to war with your country.” Shin said darkly… under his breath. Sinking in his seat in embarrassment.

Truly, Deere had been half implying that the serial killer was blending in with the vandals to get back into the restaurant…but he glanced sideways at Sou. It wasn’t an incorrect philosophy…and one, he assumed, fit very much with the fact that Sou was…you know. A king. If everyone was doing their jobs, a king would barely have to consider the ‘obviously wicked’. Any true danger would have to come from where you least expected it, otherwise it wouldn’t come even close to fruition. 

…he did think it would be a rather cruel twist to the actual story, though. Deere had heard that all three of the Essei children had been murder victims, at various times. Turning the last known one into the villain was…

Well, perhaps a compelling story. And it was unlikely there was anyone left to be hurt on his behalf. 

A little amused at Sou’s wilting, Deere took an awakening breath and settled in for the rest of the film. The contents aside…it was a pretty remarkable medium. 

The movie was a bit vague in the end, about who the slasher most likely was, but it did strongly hint that the correct answer was the creator of the machines. It also ended with what essentially became a sort of slideshow book report of the real events the movie was based off of. Ultimately, it was… okay. Good, if you considered that it didn’t have much competition, film-wise. For a truly good story and presentation though, stage theater still triumphed.

But that was alright. Shin didn’t come here specifically for the story. After some talking, he was shown what he really wanted to see. Gaping at the projector as the five were allowed into the projector room. “Look at that craft! Gods, this was practically magic, not that long ago. I can’t believe technology like this is available in my lifetime…”

An exemplary guardsman always, Caeldori was vigilant with Ciro, watching both the people showing off the projector and reels to King Sou and the stairs, though she still did her best to keep up with the information being given. It was her folly for not learning ahead of time, and hopefully learning now wouldn’t cause any issues. 

One of the projectionists, however, was less interested in performing an impromptu lecture, and more just pleased as punch to meet another enthusiast. “Isn’t it?! You know, the folks at the trade center never let us live it down that Usott beat us to it, but now that we’ve got the dang thing set up, can’t be mad, can ya? Already we’re lookin’ into the ticker to figure out a higher frame rate, makin’ the projection look so much smoother, though got in a tiff with a director sayin’ that they need better cameras to shoot on in the first place before we start thinkin’ about the end result. Still, oh, take a look at this bit, your highness!”

Deere raised an eyebrow. He…wasn’t sure how the film could be even smoother… It already looked so lifelike. In fact, making it even ‘better’ might even be a detriment…at least for showings of this genre. And more specifically for his hand. 

“...you sure you’re okay, Selka?” Deere said quietly, noting the ache in his hand that made that question more of a courtesy than genuine inquiry. 

“Y-yep!” Selka smiled through gritted teeth, still clutching the closest available hand, which this time happened to be Deere’s, shaking from head to toe as she gritted out, “T-truly a d-delight, w-what a lovely event we all indulged tonight! T-trully not an utterly baffling way to voluntarily spend your time! Atua be pleased!”

“Atua be pleased,” Ciro echoed, glancing down the hole for the projector, where the theater was now empty. It really was an ideal assassination spot. With more notice next time, it’d probably be wise to request a guard be allowed to sit in the projector room for the film. It was such a basic safety precaution that he felt a little foolish they hadn’t done so this time. Oh well, alls well that ends well.

“May I look at the film reel itself?” Shin requested, smiling lightly as one of the presenters nodded, motioning for their partner to turn off the light in the room.

“It can damage the film a bit, so we try to minimize sunlight exposure,” they explained, before gently unreeling it a bit, “Take a look.”

“Fascinating. It really is second by second,” Shin murmured, looking over the reel, “To think, something so clear and impressive in something so small… this has truly been delightful, thank you for indulging me.” 

“Hah, well, it’s not very often we get to show an actual king a good time,” the projectionist smiled, shrugging a bit, “I’m hoping you’ve been having a good time in Dicea, your… majesty?”

“Oh, no,” Shin laughed lightly, genuinely amused, “Thanks for the attempt, but that’s actually a derogatory statement. You don’t actually call any member of the monarch ‘your majesty’ unless they’re being kind of a self-important dumbass and you’re feeling brave enough to calm them out on it. Though,” Shin smiled warmly, warmth radiating off of him as he said shyly, “If I’ve done something to offend, I do applaud your bravery.”

“Oh, no, no, not at all!” The projectionist insisted, laughing sheepishly, “We’re just glad to host you! Feels a bit like stepping into history while it’s happening, doesn’t it? Luminary and Dicea getting closer and all of that.”

“Dicea has been absolutely lovely, and I know that Luminary is looking forward to a beautiful era where they can, with Dicea’s permission, enjoy some of their splendor at their offer,” Shin said diplomatically, “And be all the more enriched for every moment of Dicea’s generosity and impeccable culture. Truly, I can speak on my peoples behalf in saying we are deeply honored by your hospitality.”

“Ha ha! Well, aint that something,” The projectionist blushed, grinning at their partner. 

Deere sighed, patting her arm with his yet uncaptured hand. He supposed he could keep her company while she absolutely wouldn’t be sleeping that night while he settled some arrangements. Sure, with their elongated stay in Carbosi, he could take a break from rapidly writing and calling towns with only days’ notice…but that didn’t mean his job had gotten any easier. And especially with the newest trouble their ‘minors’ had gotten into, Deere desperately needed to get them back on the law’s good side. 

The other projectionist grinned back, nodding in agreement. “We’re glad to have you! Mr. Deere there, while we talked earlier, mentioned that you all were plannin’ on stayin’ here through the freeze, so I’ll give y’all some first-heard info: We’re lookin’ to get three new films in before the mail pause, so if you’re interested in more, it’s comin’!”

Deere frowned. It matched everything he’d heard but…surely not, right? Maybe travel was discouraged in the heart of winter, but…the mail couldn’t stop for days…right?

Priestess Selka couldn’t help a small, nervous chuckle, “My, you Diceans do take your cold season very seriously. Is it truly that uncomfortable to travel in the chill?”

The projectionist smiled, but tilted their head in slight confusion, “Well, if by ‘discomfort’ you mean… if we’re capable of it? Technically you could, but the danger makes it a bit of an unreasonable choice.”

“Danger of what, may I ask?” Ciro asked.

“Oh, I guess primarily being buried alive, when it comes down to it.”

“...what?” Priestess Selka squawked. 

“I’ll be sure to come see the new films, yes.” Shin smiled, “Thank you again for your hospitality. Now, please let us take our leave, I think some of my people need a night to wrap their minds around that. Have a good day.”

Bowing and saying their thanks and goodbyes, Deere waited until they were out in the frigid air to sigh, giving the others a suspicious look. “...from everything I’ve heard, what it’s like now, isn’t considered winter weather here. It…can’t be correct, but people are speaking as if there’s yearly snowfall that stacks over the heads of people and…” he frowned, even less sure of this part, “...becomes untraversable. Like being buried in rock.”

Caeldori tilted her head, face set in pensive contemplation. “...I don’t mean to insinuate you or your sources are lying…but I have seen heavy snowfall before. It does cause traction issues, but removing it is not much more than a day’s work.”

Deere shrugged helplessly. “They talk about literally staying inside for at least a week’s time.”

“That’s about right, yes.” Shin nodded, “It’s why we’re taking the warnings to stay put seriously. I’ve never seen their winters for myself, but one thing I’ve learned going from one country to another, and now a third? Take the local warnings seriously. People are often trying to save your life.”

Shin had made the mistake of not listening to the local warnings once, back when Sou had first offered Shin to come by his manor. He had been new to the city, escaping the farms with big city dreams in his head, when Sou had approached him offering a warm dinner and advise on how to make it in the city. Everyone had told him you didn’t accept offers like that. That the nobles weren’t known for random, personalized charity. That Shin was undoubtedly being set up for something.

But Sou had been nice… and a little intimidating. And Shin had been afraid to say no, and had gone hoping for the best.

…he never saw any of those people again. He wondered if to them, he was another cautionary tale they passed around.

“So, until the locals say it’s safe to continue moving… again…”

Shin blinked, literally stunned into not walking. 

Nekomaru blinked down at him, just as surprised, halfway through chewing on a donut… before he grinned wide. Suddenly laughing. “Your grace!” the old assassin cackled, “Seriously! What the fuck are the odds!? HA HA HA HA! Wait till the ladies hear this shit!”

It took Deere a few seconds before it clicked in his head, and he gave a small bow of respect to the…well, ex-royal assassin, now-head of royal security. It made sense, as he had never met Nekomaru Nidai in person before. He and the royal detective had left the capital on vacation ages before Deere had even heard about the position calling for King Sou, and, rather thankfully, Deere had never had a reason to come into contact with high profile assassins otherwise. Still, Mr. Nidai had a presence, he’d been told, and…yes. They weren’t kidding. 

Caeldori, on the other hand, had lit up immediately after the initial surprise. “Mr. Nidai? What a coincidence, it’s wonderful to see you well, sir! Last I heard of your return to Luminary, it seemed as though our groups would completely miss each other.”

It wasn’t that she knew Nekomaru terribly well, but…the guards and assassins did work with each other on occasion, and Caeldori had grown a deep admiration and respect for Nekomaru. There was just the fact that he was an assassin that had been able to be so storied with a long career, but… Growing up, and upon joining the guards herself, her mother had always shown Nekomaru great respect as well. She had told her that Nekomaru, and his protege, were assassins you could trust. Not in missions, as that was left to the whims of the royal family, as were they all (supposed to be, anyway), but that a job given to Nidai would be done effectively and without conceit… And while they had different duties, those were qualities Caeldori always wanted to strive for herself. 

…also, it was simply nice to see an old familiar face.

Nekomaru snorted as he looked over the whole little gang of Luminaries, before grinning at Caeldori, “Eyyyy, now you were not the guardsman I expected to run into in the middle of Dicea! Not that I expected to run into any of you, seriously, the coincidence is wild, but Guardsman Caeldori! This is a huge upgrade for you from guarding the armory! Those folks finally realized you were ready for some front-facing jobs, eh? Good on you!”

Shin swallowed a bit uneasily, “Nekomaru Nidai, it’s truly fortuitous to see you. I haven’t seen you since–”

“Your wife’s assassins failed to kill me? Come on now, my king, don’t make that face! Water under the bridge, as they like to say here! Kyoko and the queen got that all cleared up before we left. Fun little civil war we had! Very exciting, really got to flex my muscles a bit!” Nekomaru snickered, before nodding towards Caeldori, “You know who you have here, your grace? Guardsman Caeldori was one of the best armory guards the Momota’s coulda asked for. She stopped a raid onto the weaponry practically single handedly, is what I heard!”

Caeldori brightened with pride. Guarding the armory was an important duty! She would never say that even stationary lookout positions were beneath anyone, as they all had their parts to do in keeping order and safety. …but she did certainly get to do more being part of the king’s personal vacation guard. “Thank you, sir!”

Deere raised an eyebrow. It had been a civil war, and all. Bound to be some awkwardness at the end of it all. Though he wasn’t all that worried. Maybe he was falling into the less-than-paranoid trap Sou had talked about earlier, but…from what Deere knew of Nekomaru’s reputation? If he wanted them dead in any way, they would be. Even faster if the man’s conditioning had managed to wear off any. 

So, since they were alive? Woo. At least Caeldori looked happy. 

And a bit embarrassed, as she blushed bashfully in the face of the pointed praise. “I appreciate how flattering the rumors you got were, sir, but it really wasn’t so big.” Turning to the others, she graciously explained, “I was only on my own for about ten minutes before Guardsmen Rhajat and Hayate came to aid me, and that’s when the raid truly ended. Even so, I’m pleased our efforts managed to bear fruit.” 

Nekomaru scoffed, “Like ten minutes isn’t a brag in and of itself. Ten minutes is a lifetime when you’re fighting for your life. Should have promoted you then and there, seriously, don’t know what the guardsforce is thinking some days.”

Ciro stared at the floor, Nekomaru’s grin widening as he spotted the other guardsman, “M’lord.” He greeted, Ciro wincing as he realized he had been recognized.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Nekomaru Nidai. Your reputation proceeds you.” Ciro said, while Shin gave him a curious look.

Nekomaru huffed, something derisive in it as he asked, “How’s Orla doing?”

“...good.” Ciro said, “Wherever she is, I’m sure.”

“She bailed, huh? Good, that girls always had more sense than most.” Nekomaru said, smirking at Shin, “You have no idea who that is either, huh? Aw, your grace, you poor bastard…”

Shin’s lips thinned, “I do believe you should have bowed in my presence, Nekomaru.”

“Ah, of course, forgive me, been around the Diceans too long,” Nekomary said, bowing to the king, the rest of the party bowing with Shin when he bowed back. “Where you all staying!? We should all sit down, have a drink! Been a while since I partied properly with some Luminaries!”

“Oh, actually, our party has just been given a strict no drinking rule, so…” Priestess Selka smiled brightly.

“...ugh.” Nekomaru said, nose wrinkling, “Where the fuck does a guy have to go to have a good time anymore?”

People had similar thoughts, when Caeldori ‘corrected’ the misconception. She knew ten minutes was nothing to scoff at, but…well, she hadn’t stopped an entire raid by herself! So that was entirely too much credit!

…and the guardforce had been thinking pretty politically, keeping someone who never complained about gruntwork on gruntwork, even if Caeldori was more than skilled enough for high profile assignments. 

Though, as Sou had once noted…the entire vacation party was made up of some colorful characters, and while some people had gotten chatty over the months, quite a few backstories had yet to be shared. 

Snorting softly at the assassin’s disgruntlement, Deere drawled, “Somewhere where the drinking age isn’t 20, I’d presume.”

“It isn’t that I’m desperate to hang out with you soft runts.” Nekomaru scoffed, “It’s just that people around here don’t know how to get drunk. You’d think these bars were tea houses, I swear. Dicea’s got top notch spas and gardens, absolute shit bars and smoke rooms. Guess it’s what happens when your whole population spends longer getting raised proper and shit. Less dumbasses to fuck around with.”

“The coffee is good here as well,” Priestess Selka pointed out, “Lots of lovely flavors!”

Nekomaru looked down at Selka… before he grinned. Attempting to lean in a way that was suave, shoulders back and hips tilted, as he said, “Priestess, yeah? Been a while since I’ve seen a priestess. What about you and I go get some coffee and we can discuss all the prayer I’ve been missing out on–”

“I’m 19!” Priestess Selka said brightly.

“...nevermind.” Nekomaru sighed, his whole body sagging in defeat, “Alright, let me go tell my friends that I found some Luminaries. I’ll find you all. Swear, can’t have anything.”

Nekomaru grumbled as he headed off, the group watching him leave… as Shin let out a small sigh of relief, “What a scary man.”

“I thought he was nice!” Priestess Selka beamed, while Ciro just looked irritated too.

That, or the Diceans just found weirder things to be dumbasses about. Case in point…they’d just watched an entire imagined event of schlocky gore based on a series of child murders and everyone had nodded like it was a good time. Well. Except Selka. 

Deere’s shoulders raised an inch in silent mirth as Caeldori waved goodbye to the former assassin…then gave the group a sheepish look. “He may have a forceful personality, but Mr. Nidai is a very respectable man. I…wouldn’t say he was nice to all the green guards, but he has always been very encouraging to those who are willing to put the work in.”

Deere watched the retreating man for a moment, impressed by the way he could make his stature blend into the crowd. “...he reminds me of some of the older prestiged soldiers. Imagine that… Running into Nekomaru Nidai. I’d think we’ll be seeing Kyouko Kirigiri next time too.”

“Ooooh, isn’t that exciting! …who?” Selka asked, as the group kept moving.

“The royal detective.” Shin explained, shivering a bit as snow started to lazily drift down, another light flurry, there and likely gone within the hour, “She would have been the ex-royal detective, had Byakuya won the war. And with us winning the war, it was expected Nekomaru would be the ex-royal assassin. They were both on opposite sides of the skirmish, so for those in the know, it seemed like it was going to be one of the other… and bizarrely enough, Kyoko Kirigiri went to great lengths to ensure Nekomaru’s both survival and his position. Sometimes I wonder if in the end, it would have turned out the same for her, had we lost. To make it even more confounding, the obvious enemies to everyone else then immediately went on vacation together, so…who knows what was happening behind the scene there.”

“Perhaps it’s love~” Priestess Selka sighed, practically floating on air as she said it. 

“He just propositioned you, priestess.” Guardsman Ciro pointed out. 

“Love is expressed in all sorts of ways, sexual exclusivity is only one of them.” Priestess Selka shrugged, “Oh, but isn’t the idea romantic? Caught on opposite sides of the war, forced to lie and subterfuge around each other, but in the end, love triumphing over all… miraculous! Truly one of Atua’s divine gifts!”

Deere gave the slowly falling flakes an exasperated look as their group walked. The war had seemed…not exactly simple, out in the military compound, but observable. Two Momotas duking it out for control, turning it into everyone else’s problem for the first time in years because Kaede hadn’t wanted to just use assassinations…probably likely due to Nekomaru, at least in part. It was odd that she was blatantly giving more power to…well, normal people, as far as anyone couldn’t find the catches, and…even while being part of Byakuya’s forces, technically, Deere had known a lot of people who had been quietly eyeing the platform of ending the Indentured Program. 

But…given that they were an arm of the ruling monarch? Mostly, the people around Deere had just been…waiting. Either for deployment, or for the war to end. 

Being right in the middle of it? He couldn’t imagine the headache. 

But some people still tried to imagine it anyway. 

Blushing a little, evidently indeed finding something pleasantly romantic about Selka’s idea, Caeldori smiled softly before shrugging. “It’s well known now, thanks to the statements from the Dicean royal family, but even in Luminary I remember Miss Harukawa and Mr. Saihara being exceptionally close. I don’t think it would be outlandish to think Detective Kirigiri and Head Nidai forged a closer relationship due to their wards. Whatever that sort of love may be.”

He didn’t say anything, but Deere’s gaze went a little dry. Love triumphing, huh? Maybe not outlandish, but…he doubted that.

“There is a third member of their little group, though I know almost nothing about her.” Shin said, “And… I have every reason to believe we are entirely safe with them. They still work for the Momota’s, so… yes. It will be fine to dine with them tonight.”

Even if it was awkward to eat with the man Kaede had spent months chewing at the tip of pencils, trying to figure out how you killed the man who had created both your defense and assassination network to begin with. The answer had ended up being you failed too. Nekomaru wasn’t considered the best for nothing.

“...also,” Shin looked over to Ciro, who was keeping watch around their perimeters, “Guardsman, are you a member of a noble house?”

Ciro’s lips thinned a bit at that, though he nodded immediately, “House Fiore, your grace.”

“House Fiore…” The name rang a bell, but… “Oh. Oh, that’s unfortunate for you. Your house was one of the three that swore fealty to Haji. Your house was trying to get Blimp technology recertified. Haji promised the castle would commission their work.”

“Yes,” Ciro said, face stern and professional, “My fathers mistake, your grace.”

“True. Blimp technology is wildly impractical, no one’s figured out even in theory a framework that doesn’t eventually catch on fire.” Shin mused, “...oh, and the coup was a mistake too, as well. I am sorry about your loss.”

“Without my father, my mother has succeeded in pulling our house back from the brink,” Ciro said, straightening his shoulders, “When myself and my siblings prove ourselves to the castles, our names will be in good standing again.”

“I’m certain that is true.” Shin said, not interested one way or another. It was a fairly large scandal, to be sure, but noble lines died off all the time, for one reason or another. The noble families who had aligned with Haji had gotten off lightly, Shin heard. King Leon, from how Kaede had explained it, unwilling to turn his nephews ‘mistake’ into a total bloodbath, too deep in grieving to indulge in his famous rage.

King Leon had had that, for as small a virtue as it was. He had really wanted his children, including his niece and nephew, to succeed in the world. He had broken a lot of traditions to give them every available opportunity. An education and resources to make them potentially exceptional leaders… and all of them had looked back, realized what a buffoon he was, and had promptly stabbed him back with all the resources he had handled them. With the exception of Kaito, who had been the only child where those resources had been taken away. 

If there was a lesson in that, Shin wasn’t inclined to learn it. He hoped he wouldn’t have to spend his life waiting for his own kids, as Kaede would eventually insist upon having, to kill him.

Deere and Caeldori, in their own ways, grimaced and politely hid those grimaces at the name ‘Fiore’. They weren’t instant reactions--as politically savvy as the Badala family tried to keep up with, Caeldori had been quite young when Haji Momota was executed, and the fallout had been minimal, compared to many scandals that had happened within more functioning memory. Deere, on the other hand, hadn’t grown up mired in the capital’s intrigue at all, but eventually the gossip had made its way to him anyway, and one way or another the name had stuck in his head. 

It was…unfortunate. And little wonder why Ciro had found Nekomaru’s company less than comforting. 

But all the same, Caeldori gave her fellow guard a warm, encouraging smile and nod. “I believe you’re doing your house well, Ciro. As long as I’ve known you, your actions and deeds do you proud.”

“Thank you. I am happy to serve.” Ciro said, nodding his head lightly.

Priestess Selka sort of wanted to ask who ‘Orla’ was… but perhaps there’d be time for that later. They had gotten back to the hotel, and someone was playing piano somewhere. A bright, jaunty tune accompanies with laughter and the telling steps of dancing. “Oh! Someone’s started a party!” Priestess Selka cheered happily, grabbing Deere’s hand again, “Come, take me dancing!”

“I swear, if they’re drunk in there, I’m executing the whole party and just replacing you all with Dicean mercenaries.” Shin swore, though the scent in the air was thick with… coffee?

And indeed, when they all went in, the room was practically boiling with the heavy scent of coffee, a thick cauldron on the fire literally bubbling with the thickest, darkest roast of coffee Shin had ever smelled. And he knew the cauldron was the source of the coffee smell, it was undeniable. “What fresh trial is this?” Shin muttered, looking around.

“Your grace! The king is here!” one of the guardsman noticed, raising a thick mug of sloshing coffee as he shouted excitedly, “All hail the king-consort! Long live the queen! Atua be pleased!”

“ATUA BE PLEASED!” The Luminary party shouted at the top of their lungs, literally shouting, like they were trying to shake the walls with their volume. They were all so, so caffeinated. 

“Priestess, I don’t da-a-ah, hey!” Deere mildly protested as he was whisked away. 

Caeldori looked after them longingly for just a moment before she repeated peacefully, “Atua be pleased.”

-

As he said he would, Mike returned to the castle in the evening, after what he guessed ‘dinner time’ would likely be within the service window he’d learned the dining hall held dinner. He and Tim hadn’t actually set up a meeting place, but Tim had said he’d come find Mike’s new room so…he headed back there. All the better, since he had some things to drop off. 

And that was how, if Tim knocked on Door 177, Mike would open it, hatless and with large, circular dark-lensed goggles in place of his glasses, and an x-shaped, bandolier-style tool belt stuffed to every brim strapped across his chest. 

Timothy stared, mostly looking at the complicated tool belt. “...we’re not going to war, you know. We’re just going on the roof.”

Even with the goggles, Mike gave the impression of rolling his eyes. “It’s for the transmitter tower, smartass. I told you I was going to improve it, and even if I wasn’t there’s no way I’m not digging into it. And I don’t want to climb all the way up just to find out I’m missing just the right kind of bullshit proprietary screwdriver to open things up, so I’m bringing everything.”

Pushing the goggles up, Mike squinted at the blurry hall. “...we’re good to go?”

Timothy sighed. They were so getting in trouble for this. Which would be interesting, since he was already grounded. He wasn’t technically leaving the castle, so… he wasn’t breaking a rule. But he expected he’d be double grounded. Or actually buried into the ground. One of those.

“Sure,” Timothy still said anyway, gesturing Mike to follow, “But you’re apologizing to my dog later. Chase couldn’t understand why I wasn’t taking her with me out of the room. She was whining at the door when I left. You ever make a puppy sad? I need to buy her a new toy or something.”

Mike raised an eyebrow, before pushing his goggles back down. They were prescriptive, so he kind of did need them for…everything they were doing, but for seeing blurry blobs in the light, he’d needed to double-check. “...your dog understands Common?”

“...I don’t know how to answer that,” Timothy admitted, as they headed up the stairs. Slowly. Mike seemed to have some difficulty with stairs. “I think the answer is yes, but not in the weird way I feel like you meant it.”

“I mean,” Mike stressed with a sigh, “Why would I apologize to something that doesn’t understand what I’m saying? So if you’re asking me to apologize--which, whatever, sure--then you think she could at least understand some of it. Which is kind of weird. I’d think there are, like, slavery laws and stuff against having something that’s as smart as you as a pet.”

“Don’t worry, no one’s going to steal you as a pet. My dad’s not allowed to do that anymore,” Timothy said, not skipping a beat as he said, “And I already have Chase, who’s more than enough for me.”

“I thought you said your dad was having impulse issues with kidnapping people,” Mike shot back. “I’m already staying under the same roof. I might actually take your mom up on the job offer if it’ll look like I have to hire a lawyer to actually enforce that rule.”

“Oh, did you get any other ideas about what happened to you, by the way?” he asked, eyes narrowing a little as he sped up on the stairs. They were still weirdly narrow, but going up was at least easier. Getting back down again…was something that he’d contend with later. 

“Kidnapping, pets, after a certain point you’re just splitting hairs when it comes to the joke.” Tim shrugged, still going up. They were heading to the observatory, which was going to take a minute. “And… sort of? My parents and uncles all basically talked in circles for a while before agreeing, yep. Sounds like conditioning.”

“It’s not that surprising, really. I mean… I didn’t think I had any conditioning, not really. Indentureds go through this training in two parts in Luminary, right? But I never went to the second part of it.” Timothy explained, “You go to the warehouse when you first become an Indentured for most anyone, unless you’re literally a baby. And then you go for the first time at 6. Then you go again at 10. I should have gone back this year actually, to do my final bit of warehouse training, so… because I didn’t, and there were no signs of my conditioning, we all thought I got the simplest kind you can be given and that was it.”

“But, no. Turns out mine’s just tough to trigger.” Tim said, “They're still not entirely sure what triggers it or what it’s really supposed to do. Uncle Kokichi got too sad watching them try to test it, so they decided to do it later.”

Being given ‘the simplest kind’ didn’t sound the same as ‘no conditioning’ to Mike…but he’d literally only just learned any of this today. There was so much research to go through, and it sounded like he wasn’t the only one. 

“They stopped because your uncle was sad?” Mike huffed, a little derisively. “Though I guess if they didn’t give you your drum again, they were just looking for incidental stuff anyway.”

“...you looked pretty out of it. What did it feel like to you? Or was it like we found the drum, and then you were in the dining hall?”

Couldn’t--or wouldn’t--be done to babies. Two sessions, and Tim made it seem like those were years apart even for people who didn’t go at the youngest. (Though, if Tim was supposed to go that year, then…he was 10? Huh.) Now…why that? It was industrialized in Luminary, if Tim was so blasé describing the process, so it wasn’t to avoid suspicion…so that meant it was functional. Because a brain just couldn’t take everything at once? Or…because something needed to set for years?

“My uncle gets sad with his whole body. It’s hard to ignore,” Timothy explained, “My dad calls it his superpower, but my dad calls everything a superpower.”

“It felt like everything was normal,” Timothy said, glancing over at Mike, “It’s not like I passed out or anything. Conditioning changes how you think. Nothing feels irrational, even if it is… Do you have a phobia? Anything like that?”

“What a shitty power--you get so sad it depresses other people.”

Rolling his eyes, Mike scoffed, “No.”

But…in a rare moment of consideration, he shrugged, looking directly forward at the stairs. “...I have been given pretty intense sedatives before. The kind where you’re still technically conscious for a little while. I think I’d just kind of blindly agree or grunt at whatever was in front of me then, so… Like that?”

“Um… maybe? I guess?” Timothy said, “I meant more like, how when you’re caught up in a phobia, it kinda doesn’t matter that it's irrational thinking. Because it feels rational to you, even if it sucks. I knew I was waiting for orders. I knew I wasn’t really supposed to be and it was weird that I was… but that didn’t really matter. It felt important. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t explain it, it was still the only way to think in the moment.”

“My mom and uncle want to test what it’s like for me to try to resist it. Apparently that can feel really bad. Mom said when she resisted hers, she kept becoming more and more convinced that everyone she cared about was going to die, until eventually she was seeing flashing images of their corpses.” Tim said, “And Uncle Shuichi said his always felt like suffocating. Like if he didn’t do it he was going to run out of breath and pass out. I don’t know about any of that. Mine just felt… like yeah. That was what I was supposed to be doing. It didn’t occur to me to try to fight it. It felt rational.”

“...why were you given sedatives?” Tim asked.

…he didn’t get it. Which was annoying. 

It wasn’t just being irrational, which Mike didn’t get personally but he understood it enough as a concept. But it was like…being stuck in a path, that even if you hated it, even if you could see better things by comparison, you were stuck on…he guessed?

…though ‘waiting for orders’ seemed…important. Hm. 

Looking over, Mike raised his eyebrows a bit as Tim described his mom and uncle’s…resistance symptoms. “That’s intense. I’d wager it was more than just hallucinations then. Ones that trigger parasympathetic responses, at least.” Things that could be resisted through force of will, technically, but did legitimately inflict physical damage. Because in the whole of Luminary, Mike would figure someone would take on the images of corpses and feelings of suffocation to resist, but if that was considered a dead end too…then a parasympathetic response. 

…which was something that could be trained. Especially easily if you were young…and reinforced over a timespan. Hmmmm…

…

There were a lot of “reasons”, really, why Mike had been given sedatives for various things…but Tim didn’t need to know. So he just sneered, “Dentist appointment. Trade for keeping me as a patient after I knocked one of the aides out.”

“You’re kind of a menace,” Tim observed, “Also, how do you know words like that? Para… para…” Tim pouted, flushing lightly as he looked away, annoyed he wasn’t sure how to echo what Mike had said. “The long word that means physically feeling a bad thought? You’re like 5 years old and a street urchin, how do you learn words like that?”

“No shit,” Mike rolled his eyes, holding one finger up, “I told you I’m a genius,” Two fingers. “Parasympathetic.” Three. “I’m older than you, numbnuts, and I’m not a street urchin. Or homeless. Or whatever other almost synonym you wanna use.” Four and five, before he put his hand down. 

“I told you before--school’s useless. If you want to learn something, there are endless resources to find it. And I do. So sometimes I run into words and phenomena like ‘parasympathetic’, and what do you know! I learn something that they won’t even teach you to say for years.” Mike shrugged a little. “I’m sure there’s plenty you know that I don’t, but for the interesting stuff I’ll figure it out eventually.”

“I’m gonna saaaaaay,” Tim looked Mike up and down, “Five…ish. Recent 5. Happy birthday.”

Mike let out an exasperated grunt. “I’m 11.”

“I’m willing to negotiate up to 7, but that’s my hard limit,” Tim gracefully offered. 

Growling softly, Mike threatened, “If it’s because I’m short, I will tackle you down the stairs.”

“Nah, it’s because your voice sounds like you’ve been sucking helium balloons,” Tim said, barely keeping the smirk off his face as they climbed, “Hopefully puberty helps you out, but, well… nature can only do so much.”

Nostrils flaring a bit, you could practically see Mike steaming. “Hopefully it’ll let you actually express an emotion. Unlucky if you get the coin flip of it stunting you worse than ever.”

Huffing Mike glared at the stairs. “How much longer is this anyway?! We’ve definitely been going up longer than five flights.”

“You’re right, actually,” Timothy said, going up the observatory stairs and pushing open the door. “This is basically a ‘sixth’ floor, a tower, and it’s the easiest route onto the roof. It’s not supposed to be, there’s this gate they put up cause some guy jumped a thousand years ago. But I’ve been working on it.”

Looking around to confirm no one was around, Timothy headed over to the open slit that the telescope went through, checking outside of it. Then, he grabbed a star-map tapestry from the wall, flicking it up and off with practiced ease, before hoisting the tapestry over the end of the telescope. Then he hurried over to the switchboard for the telescope, levering the telescope higher and higher until it ever so slightly tapped the very top of the opening, the tapestry still hanging down from the top of the telescope.

“Okay,” Tim said, grabbing the tapestry and pulling at it lightly, ensuring it was secure, “Now we just climb to the top, and hop to the maintenance ladder. In theory there’s an actual opening to the roof somewhere that lets people get to the outside dome maintenance ladder but…” Tim shrugged, “once I figured this method out I stopped looking for it.”

Mike grumbled a bit about labeling (even if it was just one room, if the castle had a sixth floor then they should say it had a sixth floor) before he watched Tim get to work. Honestly…a little impressed by the strategy. It was easy to figure out routes from architecture itself, and just as easy to spot and prevent those routes…but on both accounts, people tended to forget that decorations were just as tangible. Using the telescope as a mount and the tapestry as a rope was pretty smart. 

…if only it didn’t necessitate climbing a rope to get onto the roof. (...well, that didn’t make it unintelligent. Just…inconvenient.)

“Not bad…” Mike hummed, looking up and up the tapestry and telescope, up into the dome. Stepping back, he held a hand out to Tim. “Well, you first. Since you know where to aim for the ladder.”

…and he was not having Tim watch as he tried to climbed. 

“On it,” Tim agreed, jerking the tapestry one more time before starting to climb. 

It was a swift, easy thing. There was a reason Tim had preferred this method versus finding the actual, official way maintenance workers got out onto the roof. You leaned towards the answers that worked for you, and once you had it you rarely thought more about it. 

Getting to the top, Tim hoisted himself up, and calling from the telescope edge, called down, “The glass won’t break if you step on it, but try not to, I think it’ll smudge the space guys’ views and stuff.” Advisement done, he hopped onto the standing ledge, heading down the ladder.

Mike watched quietly as Tim climbed up the tapestry. Easily, like he was just taking a stroll. Mike’s brows scrunched as he tried to wrap his head around how Tim was using his legs, kind of…scrunching and lifting…

…for the first time, he wished he was a felidae ‘taur instead of an equidae. Hooves weren’t made for climbing, his legs meant for kicking and running… And, well, Mike’s in particular made for finding a comfy seat while he immersed himself in worlds that weren’t this one. If he had claws, feet that could bend…up??? This would be a piece of cake. 

But he was not losing his chance to look at a transmission tower, and he was not going to fall off like a total loser and prove Tim right. 

With a breath, Mike closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and fiercely glaring at the tapestry, walking forward with purpose as he grabbed a hold of it and started climbing. 

He was Mike fucking Teavee. He did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, because he was not about to let a world full of boring losers tell him no. Mike wasn’t about to waste away in mediocrity, he was going to be incredible! And he was going to climb this fucking tapestry!!!

…it wasn’t long before something sounding quite a bit like horse snorts started quietly echoing up the observatory tower. 

Oooooh, Mike had the same thing Uncle Kokichi had, huh? Poor guys. Timothy didn’t envy the whiney… nostrils? Whatever it was that made them make those noises. His dad grinned like a cartoon character every time Uncle Kokichi did it, and honestly, it was the biggest thing Tim couldn’t wrap his mind around his dad about. Did he actually like the weird horse laugh? Weird.

Timothy looked around the roof, waiting for Mike. It was a nice night, at least, though still cold. At least it was a bright, full moon. And Tim had always liked the view up here, taking some time to watch the mild lights of the city. 

…Mike was taking a minute. “You alright?” Tim called.

“Fuck you! I’m… hah… Fine!!” Mike snarled up, audibly panting. Though, it wasn’t long before there were some metallic noises, and the…well, shoes didn’t show up well, but the neon orange shoelaces did. And they hopped down with a little clap, Mike hunching a bit as he stood, scowling red-cheeked at Tim. “Sorry not all of us grew up around fucking lemurs… Now…”

Mike looked around the roof, searching before he perked up. “Ah! Alright, here we go! Time for the real fun stuff,” he cheered, trying not to look as careful as he was being as he started walking along the roof towards what could only be a transmission tower.

This was absolutely going to be worth the back pain.

Tim laughed a little, shoving his hands into his pocket as he lazily followed behind Mike, his job done. He looked up at the weird metal tower thing, sniffing a bit as he rocked lightly on his feet. “...if you lick it, it kinda gives you a fun ‘jump’.”

If Mike had been the type, he would’ve been rubbing his hands in delight as he came up to the tower. The diagrams really didn’t do it justice… A few pounds of steel, some interfacing, wire components and an attachment to a grid…and you could contact almost anywhere in the country, instantaneously. Branching out into the continent, even. It really was a marvel… And he was about to make it even better!

Pressing a button on the side of his goggles, a ring of light surrounded the lenses, shining pointedly down at whatever Mike was looking--

Soon Tim was glowing in the spotlight, as Mike looked over incredulously. “...that’d be the leaked discharge. Of…you know. The 20 milliamps of electricity constantly running through these towers.”

He suddenly snorted as he turned back to the tower, finding the maintenance box and putting on a pair of thick gloves from his belt before taking out a screwdriver. “The discharge isn’t nearly that much, but 20mA is enough to start causing muscle contractions. I bet it’d look crazy on a tongue.”

“Well, I don’t know about all of that, but I do know Cali and Kimiko both hugged it once, and their hair sort of went up, right? But mine didn’t because it already does that, so I licked it instead to see what happens…” Tim shrugged, “It feels kinda good. Made my ears crackle.”

Watching Mike take out his tools, Tim kicked the asphalt a bit, before asking, “So, what are you doing, anyway? I know you said something about improving it, but… what does that mean?”

Mike snickered a bit, looking genuinely tickled. “You guys are kind of crazy. That’s cool.” Weirdos who called themselves assassins-in-training, led a revolt on a school trip and got into a building’s rafters, hugged an electric death spike and laughed at the static… Tim and his friends were as far from boring as you could get. 

Peering closely at the mess of wires inside the box, Mike couldn’t help swaying with glee. “Electricity always takes the shortest route from point A to point B,” he started explaining, hands deftly working within the wires and trading out tools without thought. “It’s interesting--it’s energy, but it’s so closely related to matter and the motion of matter that you can treat it like matter that cheats.”

“I saw in the blueprints, and it looks like it here too, that there’s a whole circumnavigation of resistance wiring meant to make the flow of electricity take longer, so it won’t fry the outlet ports,” he said quickly. “But I took a look at what the castle’s actually working with--it still has to conform with standard safety codes, but because it’s a public building, it tends to work with a higher volume of everything--industrial loads. So what would fry a private residence would be handled without an issue here.”

“Basically, I’m making a shorter route…” Mike paused for a moment, before scoffing. “Also, some of these anchor points are trash, they’re going to fray the wire casings in a year. I’ll fix those too.”

“...okay.” Tim nodded, registering… well, almost none of that. But Mike seemed confident, so… “Well, if we’re lucky, maybe no one will notice we were ever up here. I’m already grounded, so I have no idea what my parents would need to come up with to punish me for accidentally breaking the tower. I dunno. Probably make me clean the whole castle. Again.”

Tim was exaggerating, of course, cleaning the castle had been a whole castle effort after the vents. But it was his favorite joke when he talked about his parents’ punishment system. Yeah, they made me clean the whole castle once. Took like four days. It was crazy.

“It’s more than luck, I’m not going to break the tower,” Mike bragged in the way it was so confident it didn’t even feel like bragging. “And what’s ‘grounded’ even look like for you? You sure seemed fine leaving school before, so staying home the whole time isn’t shit. And, like, you live in the most metropolitan single building in the city. Are you supposed to be locked in your room or something?”

“It’s more like being restrained to the castle, but with my mom, dad, and nanny all being way more invested in keeping track of what I’m doing… well, mom and dad anyway. Miss Kawai can be talked into sneaking me out… and so can Mom, actually. Dad too, but he’s the toughest one, and you tend to have to guilt trip him. He’s weirdly strict about some stuff. My friends all think he’s my easy-going parent, but he’s not, he’s just kind of weird about what he cares about or not.”

“...” Tim looked curiously at Mike, “What about you? I know your dad’s a loser and your mom sleeps with losers, but that’s about it. Do your parents even know where you are?”

Figures. It made more sense that Tim wasn’t just going along with punishments just because, or, even more baffling, they were actually enforceable. He just didn’t preemptively go against them. Or just didn’t inform his parents at all, which was subdued, but Mike could respect that. 

“Doubt it,” Mike hummed as he reached father into the box. “I mean, someone with half a brain could figure I’m not just hanging out in a tree somewhere, and Usott’s cool enough, but it’s not like I gave her an itinerary or anything. It’s less likely by this point, but if you wanted to win big, it’s still possible Doris doesn’t even fuckin’ notice I’m not at home.”

“...whatever, she can throw a cocktail party for one, for all I care,” Mike muttered, before a shower of sparks suddenly shot out of the box. 

“Oh shit!”

Tim raised an eyebrow, surprised that no one would have even noticed Mike was gone yet. Tim was pretty sure if he disappeared for longer than three hours by this point, the entire guardforce would be looking for him. His parents were just kinda paranoid like that. 

He wasn’t sure what he would have asked as a follow-up– was Mike planning to ever go back home? Was him staying at the castle a short-term thing?-- but before he could decide on it, he jumped slightly at the sparks, putting his hands up like he was shielding from a blow, before squinting at the sparks. “...are you going to start a fire?” Tim called out over the sparking sounds, sounding much calmer than he felt about this.

“No!” Mike snapped, the frustration bleeding just enough worry to be heard. Okay, uh… Nothing had caught from that, his sleeves were a little singed, but that was fine. Okay…okay, he had to…

“Ah fuck,” he cursed. “Come over here. On my right lower pouch, there’s a black crimper--it looks like pliers. I can’t let go of these, so I need you to hand me the crimpers. Got it?”

“Okay,” Tim said warily, hurrying over and looking down at the lower right pouches, “Um, okay…”

Tim started to open the packs, pulling out a few tools that looked like some variety of pliers. “This one? This one? What about this one?”

“Shut up!” Mike growled, sweating a little as he could start to feel heat through his gloves. That wasn’t a good sign… 

Glancing down, he nodded. “That second one you pulled. My hands are just in the middle. Wait until just after a spark, thrust it in, then get out as fast as you can.”

“Uuuuuuuh, okay,” Tim said, grabbing the second ones, watching where Mike was pointing, the sparks spitting like dragon-fire, “Hey, what are the odds this electrocutes me and I die? Actually, nevermind, I don’t want to know.” 

Tim waited carefully, looking for the moment where the sparks stuttered. It was easy to focus once he started to stare at the sputtering lights. After a moment, it was like Tim could see the pattern in the electric pulsing too. There was a pattern, it was just happening rapidly, little pulses happening within milliseconds. It was a little hypnotizing, honestly…

Tim blinked, before quickly shoving in the crimpers in between Mike’s hands, winced, and pulled back. Staring blankly at his hand, before asking, “What else?”

“Low as balls,” Mike grunted, “More likely to set yourself on fire. Which is what the roof is gonna look like in a minute or two if I don’t fix this.”

As Tim moved, Mike quickly snapped his wrists together to catch the crimpers and set about hastily contorting his hands and fingers around to hold the tool in a useable manner and start fixing the wires he’d cut. The…uh. Very predictably live wires, since they hadn’t shut off the castle’s electricity or anything, which had brushed against some of the metal in the box and…

He was fixing it, okay?!?!

“Just hold on!” Mike shouted, before…

“Hhuuuuh…” He sighed, letting the winces he’d been holding back before flash across his face as he pulled his hands out of the box, sleeves and gloves singed, the tips of the fingers almost blackened. In another breath, Mike reached into another pocket, getting out some electrical tape, and tore a bit off with his teeth, reaching in once more, before almost anticlimactically closing the maintenance box and sinking down to his knees. 

Breathing, before he looked over at Tim. “You good?” 

Tim watched curiously as Mike moved quickly, his hands moving like a whirlwind around the circuits. Honestly, it was really impressive. Tim didn’t think he’d be able to move that adeptly with something that complicated. Especially not when it was spitting fire at him. Mike was kind of cool, when he was doing stuff like this. 

“Good job. That was cool,” Tim said, before looking down at his hand again. “Um, I don’t know. I can’t feel it, but this looks like it should hurt,” Tim admitted, showing Mike the black spot on the center of the palm, the skin still bubbling slightly around the charred bits, “What do you think?”

Mike looked at the spot on Tim’s hand. “...well, fuck,” he sighed. Patting around his pockets, he paused before taking the electrical tape and double-siding it around Tim’s hand over the black spot, securing it to itself on the back of his hand. He took off his gloves--the tips and pads of his thumbs, index, and middle fingers an angry, sore-looking red--and handed one to Tim. 

“That’s an ‘oh fuck you might have to cut it off’ kind of burn,” Mike frowned, “So put this on so you can climb back down, then…” He trailed off, for once starting to look a little unsure. “...you…have a hospital or something like that in the castle, right?”

“The medical wing, yes,” a clear, forth-right voice sounded above them. “Though I would advise against trying to climb with those burns, Timothy and Michael.”

Mike blinked, startled, and quickly turned his spotlight up at the person that just fucking appeared what the fuck?! “Who the fuck are you?!?” he screeched. 

Katsuki gave the boys her usual smile. “The person getting you down from the roof; Guard Katsuki Okuniji, at your service.”

“Oh, hi Miss Okuniji,” Tim said, starting to sway on his feet a bit as he showed her his hand blankly, “I think I hurt myself. It felt weird.” He blinked, swaying harder. “I still feel funny. Could you tell my dad?”

“Mission accepted, Timothy. Though we’re making a detour first. I am going to pick you up.” With the warning issued, Katsuki scooped Tim up with one arm and reached for Mike, only for him to lean away with a hiss. 

“Don’t touch me! I can climb down myself!”

“Doubtful with your burns,” she said simply, “And you need to give intel on what happened up here. Come along peacefully.”

With that, she scooped him up with her other arm, and quickly began striding to the roof access door, conveniently with the lock and door held open, as per mission set up. Katsuki having taken full advantage of her prep time. 

It was only a shame that the boys had gone up earlier than she expected. If she’d been off shift a little sooner, then… Well. She was making use of her abilities now. 

-

A handful of minutes later, and some new bruises to her side, Katsuki knocked purposefully on Maki Harukawa’s door. 

“This is Katsuki, I have pertinent intel to report, Maki.”

Maki opened the door, putting her finger over her mouth, glancing over her shoulder at her bed, before quietly closing the door behind herself. “Someone better be dead or dying, Katsuki,” she sighed, crossing her arms as she leaned back against the door in her nightshirt. “What’s happening?”

Lowering her voice--though it hadn’t been that loud to begin with. It wasn’t all that late, but people did tend to turn in earlier during the colder months--Katsuki informed, “Your son is in the medical wing being tended from a third degree burn on his palm. He seems to have gone into shock from the pain.”

If Maki set out just from those words, Katsuki was prepared to walk and talk. “He and Michael Teavee were on the roof, doing something with the castle phone tower. Michael has suffered what looks to be second degree burns on his fingers, and possible first degrees on his arms.”

Frowning slightly, she asked, “I thought to inform you before gathering a more complete incident report. Are you aware of Michael’s guardians? They should be informed as well.”

Maki had immediately started moving, lips thin and moving quickly as she listened to the rest of the report. “...I’m going to cut his damn hands off,” Maki muttered darkly, digging her fingernails into her palms, “Going to chain him to his damn bed.”

She sent a quick prayer to Atua that Tim’s hand would recover. It sounded a great deal like a threat. One Maki fully intended to make good on if her kid had any permanent damage.

“I don’t know anything about the Mike boy’s parents. I’m pretty sure he’s a runaway,” Maki said, sighing as she rubbed her temple lightly, hurrying into the medical wing, before stopping at the door. Giving Katsuki a hard look, as she asked, “Am I going to be in the way if I go in there spitting hellfire? Or are they just resting by this point?” 

“I believe they should be resting.” Katsuki nodded. That made this a little more difficult, then. If Mike was a runaway, then what would be just the notification of his guardians of an injury would turn into…something similar as to what Aceto Doppio and Arven had just and were currently going through. And Katsuki had a doubt that Mike would take that gracefully. 

Alas. It still needed to be done. 

Inside the medical bay was…not hectic as it was during a medical emergency, but…

“Oh, good,” Nell sighed, giving Maki a nod from Tim’s bedside, before she addressed Katsuki. “The other boy ran off; Dr. Green is already after him. Could you help track him down?”

It was unsaid that they needed the hands they had in the medical bay, several partitions and carts of supplies knocked over and scattered like a tornado had gone through part of the main floor. 

Maki glanced over the mess, before bee-lining for her kid. She had a thousand things she wanted to say. Most were some variety of THE ROOF?? DO YOU WANT TO DIE!? …but she could only frown when she saw how out of it Tim actually looked on the bed, blinking sleepily as a bag dripped fluids into his arm. Hydrating him as his body recovered from the shock he had gone through. 

Maki brushed his hair off his forehead where it was matted to his skin with sweat. “Status?” she asked him stiffly, looking over him worriedly.

“...oh, hi Mom.” Tim sighed sleepily, “Got a shock. Hurt my hand. Made me feel weird, but I’m starting to feel better. See?” 

Tim showed her the bandage on his hand, and Maki frowned at it, before glancing at Nell. “He is not going to scar,” Maki told Nell, narrowing her eyes at the healer, “Burns on palms just got a significant symbolism in this family, and my son will not be scarred. How can I ensure this?”

Then she glanced around and frowned. “Has no one told Kaito? Where is he?”

“Oh,” Tim sighed sleepily, letting his hand fall again, “Dad went to go kidnap Mike.”

As Katsuki left to go retrieve Mike--and hopefully keep Kaito from doing anything illegal…and maybe send Dr. Green back to the medical wing, if by chance he managed to get close to Mike--Nell lingered as Maki took in Tim’s state. By all accounts, he was stable now, but Nell would keep her cleaning co-workers out of Maki’s path of wrath as she gave the furious mother the update on her son. 

Nodding easily to Maki’s demand, Nell said, “Letting him rest, and not doing anything rough or strenuous with his hand. Thankfully, for a third-degree burn it’s relatively minor, and we were able to treat the burn easily. Once the bandages can come off, I’ll talk to you about medical creams, Maki.”

“You’re going to be just fine, Tim,” she smiled, giving him a nod. Before sighing softly, giving Maki a mildly pensive look. “Kaito showed up just before you did, I’m surprised you didn’t run into each other. Though…”

A small, light, but puzzled look came over Nell’s face. “Tim’s burn was wrapped in electrical tape, when Katsuki brought him in…but the adhesive was bound to itself, not getting in the injury. Pretty good emergency care to tide until getting here, at least.”

“Running after injured, traumatized morons is Kaito’s catnip. Did Kaito even talk to you?” Maki asked, feeling anger starting to bubble… before letting it simmer as Tim nodded, closing his eyes.

“Mmhm,” Tim hummed, “Told him Mike was being dumb. Dad said he’d be right back.”

“I’m sure,” Maki sighed, sitting down with Tim, listening to Nell with a small frown. “The boy’s intelligent, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Mike. Worthwhile brain in that one… shame he still has an absolutely worthless attitude.”

“Don’t be mad at Mike, Mom, it was my idea,” Tim murmured, his eyes closed, sounding on the verge of sleep. “Wanted to lick it again. Kind of like the feeling. It was like that, but… a lot.”

“Please do not shock yourself on purpose. You’ll kill yourself, and then I’ll bring you back, and kill you properly,” Maki threatened, still lightly running her fingers through his hair. “Get some rest. Dad or I will be here when you wake up.”

“Yeah,” Tim murmured sleepily, “I know.”

-

HEHATEDSTAIRSHEHATEDSTAIRSHEHATEDSTAIRS Who in their right mind made a sort of ramp that you could trip down?!?!?

He hadn’t panicked. Even though it hadn’t mattered where or how hard he’d hit the guard that had picked them up (...though he hadn’t gone…all out. Tim had just looked worse and worse…), Mike knew he could get medical aid where they were going, and his fingers were hurting real bad… But…they had been talking about notifying his guardians, and the guard had said she was going to ask about the roof when she came back… He hadn’t broken anything this time! Nothing was on fire, and he had improved the wiring in the box, even if things had gotten…touchy, for a bit. He hadn’t done anything wrong!

And then the healers had closed in and…he wasn’t going to stay around for that mess. But he could hear people behind him and…stairs. It was only one flight, and Mike let out a loud, creative string of swears as he bounced and stumbled down them, trying not to lose speed. He just had to get his things then get out of there.

Mike wasn’t ‘one of Kaito’s’, and so there was no innate draw that guided him towards him like there had been for so many of the other people Kaito had found himself literally chasing in his life. No odd impulse that screamed into Kaito ‘yours, yours, go get them, yours’. No instinct to guide his feet.

But that was okay, because the kid was screaming curses all the way down the stairs, which made him very easy to find anyway. 

Tim had looked worried when Kaito had gone to his bedside, getting the report from Nell as he ran in, and that had set off Kaito’s alarm bells more than anything else. Tim never looked worried. The kid usually had a stoicism that nothing less than a recent assassination attempt gone wrong, a submission bow, or a particularly stressful bit of stage fright could break through. So when the first thing the kid did was tell Kaito his friend was hurt and acting dumb, Kaito had bolted.

If Tim looked worried, then there was something to worry about. 

So! Current plan was capture child! Then return child to medical! Then go to his child and ask what the hell?? And make sure his hand didn’t hurt and did he have all the meds he needed and had he vomited when it happened, when had he last eaten, what about his heart, Kaito was sleeping in his room tonight– capture kid first.

And this was one of the easiest captures he had had yet! Feeling triumphant as he grabbed the back of the kid’s jacket, hurling him up off his feet–

Mike screeched as he was suddenly up in the air, arms pinned upward by the grip on his jacket--

And then he felt something cool fall down his back. And heard something hard clatter down the stairs. And Mike had only a second for his voice to die in horror before the glowing, palm-sized gem now heading towards the first floor dimmed to nothing. 

And then the pain began. 

Filling the soundless void Mike’s voice left were the sounds, first, of tearing. Tearing of what, it wasn’t so clear, until the much more placable sound of crunching, snapping bones placed it. Flesh. And, soon, cloth, Mike’s pants ripping as an unnatural, bulging, warping mass of flesh pushed out towards Kaito. Cracks and snaps…oddly not accompanied by a voice. Or…not a clear one. Mike’s whimpers uncharacteristically quiet, just in his throat as he clenched his jaw shut tight. 

Until…it all stopped. Mike sagging in Kaito’s grip as hind hooves touched limply to the floor, his goggles falling to his chest as his ears drooped, the thin fur on his face tacky and matted with sweat as he groaned in pain. “...nnnng…a-aah…”

Kaito blinked. 

You do not have time to think, go.

Kaito glanced down at the thing that had fallen, which was still bouncing down the steps, to the??? Child??? In his arms and, making an executive decision, Kaito took a glance down the stairs, prayed that no one was watching and shoved him up Kaito’s shirt.

Okay okay okay okay, this was a first for his kidnapping attempts, first time he was literally hiding a child in his clothes, that was fine, that was fine?? He’d just get the kid??? Safely in a room and he’d come back for the weird thing on the stairs, this was fine, this was sustainable, no one saw him do this, oh god oh god oh god–

As Kaito ran up the stairs, a whole mess of arms and?? Legs?? Many legs bulging his shirt out as he cradled the small body to his stomach and chest, it didn’t matter if he looked like an absolute freak, if no one saw the kid transform that was a win, Kaito would just deal with the hit against his reputation, not outing weird faun-horse kid was priority! 

Though, as Kaito got to the top of the staircase he froze, seeing Katsuki, holding the weird bulging shape under his shirt. “...o-oh man, I… lost him?” Kaito tried helplessly, a hoof slipping out the top of his collar. Kaito pulled his shirt up over it, sweating.

Oh. Huh. Katsuki took a look at Kaito and the boy in his grasp, seeing Mike start to squirm, his grunts getting a little louder and more pointed…though still sounding quite pained. 

“Kaito, I would advise you to put Michael down--it seems that position is putting additional strain on his back,” Katsuki said, looking them over…before glancing down the staircase with a frown. 

“Lemme…ng, go!” came the muffled voice in response, a lower hoof kicking blindly towards Kaito’s legs. 

Thinking for a moment, Katsuki gave Kaito a serious nod. “I believe he is staying in room 177--take him there, and I will rendezvous with appropriate medical aid. Switching our objectives is also acceptable.”

“Um, no, and no,” Kaito told Katsuki and the kid, absolutely refusing to put him down. A strained back was worth not being seen… though, getting him all the way to the first floor?? Like this?? “Katsuki, with all due respect, your efforts are better utilized grabbing that thing that’s falling down the stairs. If you can grab that too? That’d be perfect.”

And, taking a worried look around, Kaito bolted down the stairs, running for room 177.

Honestly, it felt like a borderline miracle that Kaito didn’t run directly into anyone. Thanking Atua over and over, Kaito let out a sigh of relief to find the door was unlocked, hurrying inside and, looking around, just sort of heading to the bed and kinda sliding the kid out of his shirt, onto the bed. Kaito taking a few steps back from the bed as he frowned at the kid. 

He always did make his own objectives. Katsuki followed Kaito down the stairs, grabbing the…cut gem from the floor, and picking up the remains of Mike’s pants and his abandoned shoes, before heading back to the medical wing. They had an injured centaur in the castle, and Katsuki had a feeling they’d need every advantage they could get to help him. 

Mike’s thrashing progressively got more violent as time went on, horse-y snorts and chuffs interspersed with growls, until they made it back to his rented room. Falling out of the shirt, Mike flailed on the bed for a moment, trying to right himself, before hopping onto the floor, his stance (on thin foal legs, socked in white with hooves that hadn’t even gotten to the ‘puppy paw’ stage yet) wide and aggressive. 

Not even thinking to pull his goggles back up, Mike glared hatefully at Kaito’s blurry form and snorted before charging at him, aiming for a combination slash and trample…even if he’d have a rough time rearing his front hooves over even Kaito’s upper thighs. “DIE!”

Kaito did what he always did when children attacked him. Took a hard look, decided ‘well, I’m not getting stabbed at least’ and promptly went, “OW-OW-OW!?” as he put his arms up against the blows, bracing for them.

It’s not like the kid’s kicks didn’t hurt. They super did, Kaito was absolutely getting bruises at every little kick against his hips, side, and one very unfortunate kick to his lower stomach that Kaito could only somewhat tearily be grateful hadn’t actually gotten any lower. But Kaito couldn’t bring himself to put the kid violently down like he had for Timothy once, wrenching his weapon away from him, because, well… Kaito wasn’t at risk of dying. He could afford to take the hits, even if, “OW-OW- WHY???”

It was strange. People he attacked didn’t tend to stick around, either running away in fear or to tend to their wounds, or because…they fought back, forcing Mike to retreat, one way or another. Unless it was torment for fun, Mike didn’t like fighting in anger (or fear), but…one of the best ways Mike had learned to deal with things in the world that refused to lie down and he couldn’t fix was to smash until dead. 

But without any interruptions…his rage only grew. The pulsing, painful throbbing in his fingers and the constant pain in his back these days, only made worse by the uncomfortable manhandling, the way he could feel weakness in his legs… (The shock of true blue fear that had gone through him, when he felt his beaststone fall. The knowledge that…once the anger was gone? He was stuck, alone, surrounded by humans for miles. Once the anger was gone, fear so consuming it would keep him from making a plan was waiting for him, and Mike didn’t want it.)

The rage only flamed hotter, as Mike yelled for the thing under him to just die already, his vision going red. 

Until (having not noticed anything else happening in the room) hands went over his eyes, plunging him into darkness. His back hooves meeting air when he tried to kick. A calm, assured voice telling him to, “Breathe.” 

Nell unflinching, eyes focused on the boy as he slowly stopped beating down on Kaito, keeping her hands over his eyes even as his legs gave out and he loafed on the floor, panting.

Kaito grabbed his side and winced a little, panting a bit as he watched Nell practically just appear. Her aura calm and reassuring as she covered the kid’s eyes, the kid– Mike? Mike, right?-- slowing down on the blows before his little knobby legs bent and he… sat down? Was the best Kaito could describe it. Like a cat. Or a horse, he guessed. Though the kid gave him strong ‘faun’ vibes.

…centaur?

Kaito warily looked at the healer, not sure if he should feel safe or if he should be trying to invent an extremely elaborate and hasty lie about the kid being really good at making his fursona suit… but this was the same healer that Doppio had gone to for the tongue ring, and so while Kaito didn’t know what her deal was, sparkly freckle kids and faun kids were apparently up her alley. “...hey, i-if you're here, my Tim’s still good, right?” Kaito asked, wincing as he shifted his weight from one side of his hip to the other, holding his side warily, “Does he need me?”

It wasn’t some ‘hidden biological trick’ or anything like that. Sure, horses did more easily stay calm with blinders, but it was both rude and incorrect to equate animal-aligned peoples with their non-sapient counterparts. Honestly, it was something Nell had found worked on some human children too--half the time, getting between them and the object of their rage calmed them down. 

The other half, it just made you a target in their path, which did make the method a little risky, but Grinnell liked to think she’d developed some amount of intuition over the years. And, thankfully, it worked out in this case. 

Glancing to Katsuki, Nell shook her head a little as the guard held out the beaststone, nodding for her to place it somewhere else in the room, before slowly lifting her hands from the boy’s eyes. Getting a small bottle of water from her emergency pack and holding it directly in front of him, waiting for acknowledgement before holding it to his mouth. 

He’d gotten startled by people touching him without notice before. 

Looking over at Kaito as Mike drank, Nell frowned at the way the prince was holding himself. “Timothy is alright. He’s resting and on fluids, and Maki is with him, along with other healers nearby.” Smiling faintly, she said, “...I doubt he would complain about his father being there, though I’d be surprised if he’s still awake. I won’t stop you from going to your family, Kaito, but see someone about your injuries.”

“...Tim’s alright?” a thin, whiny voice croaked (a little hoarse). Nell looked down, seeing the way Mike squinted, before…ah. She gave Katsuki a thankful nod at the glasses the guard presented, before allowing the boy to put them on, watching him adjust with a few blinks. 

“He is,” she repeated, “Though I’d like to make sure you are, Mike, was it? Your friend was worried for you.”

A puzzled look came over Mike’s face, before he scowled. “...I’m not being sedated… W-who the fuck are you anyway?”

Not much changed on Nell’s face, though her heart sank a little. Another medical phobia, then? “My name is Nell Pacuvius, I’m a healer on retainer here in the castle. I won’t sedate you.”

She nodded downwards. “Your hands hurt, don’t they? I could do something about that, if you’d let me.”

Frowning distrustfully, Mike slowly unfurled his hands to the healer.

Kaito frowned warily at the scene. “Well, I’m not injured, but sure, I’ll let them pass me some bruise cream or whatever… If the kid runs off again you can… uh, let Katsuki handle it, actually,” Kaito said, wincing as he shifted his hips. “That’s enough childnapping for one day. Told my husbands I was quitting, I swear, it’s like I’m an alcoholic and people keep throwing beer cans at me…”

Kaito frowned at the sedative question too, but, well, he didn’t want to disturb the peace Nell had managed to wrangle. Katsuki was more than capable of handling it, in case the kid freaked out on her. And as for the whole ‘centaur’ thing, uh… Kaito didn’t know. Whatever, they’d all figure it out.

Sighing, Kaito headed out of the room, grumbling as he leaned on the safety-rails to get up to the second floor. Heading off to go be Dad to his own kid, and to talk to Maki. Time to figure out what to do about their dumbass kid who went on dumbass roofs and messed with dumbass towers… Kaito was about to go up there and god damn baby proof that god damn electrical tower. Fucking try to stop him…

“You’re getting examined, Kaito,” Nell said, no room for argument. “I have no problem telling Maki you’re refusing medical treatment if that happens. And no problem telling your husbands either.”

Mike glanced between Kaito and Nell with confusion at that exchange. Those didn’t seem like big threats to him…and the guy probably did need medical treatment. Mike couldn’t remember the last time he’d wailed so long on something. Things usually broke before that point. 

As Nell looked over his fingers, Mike only let his winces and flinches show in flashes on his face, but apparently that wasn’t covert enough. 

“You can express pain, you know,” she said, glancing up at him with a small smile. “You’ve been loud enough so far, I don’t think you have neighbors that would mind shouting.”

He snorted, looking away in embarrassment. “Doesn’t hurt that bad… Don’t need to scream.”

She shrugged, dabbing a gel onto his fingers that, despite not being frozen, felt cool and soothing even through the hot throbs of pain. “Suit yourself. …where are you from, Mike? Edahu? Aheyo?”

He shot her a wary, dirty look. “...Edahu. …what do you know about it, you’re just a--”

Mike wasn’t usually cut off by people, but there was something about the dry, unhumored look in Nell’s eyes that made his jaw shut with a click. …not a human, then. …then?

He shot a look at the guard just silently (weirdly intensely) watching them before huffing. “...fine. But you’re not shipping me back there.”

“I suppose we wouldn’t, not without an armed guard escort,” Nell said dryly, starting to gently wrap Mike’s fingers. Though, her voice softened after that. “Your community must be pretty worried. I’d have to think to nail down how long it’s been since I’ve met a ‘taur outside of their village.”

Mike rolled his eyes, his jaw twitching in irritation. “Who cares. And they’re probably just fine, living in a fucking bubble away from the world, content to walk in the same circles sniffing their own asses.”

Nell smiled slightly, looking amused. “Not inspired at home, then? Can’t say I don’t understand. …still, neither Edahu nor Usott are prepared for children to be the masters of their own destinies. They require people to be woken up when their kids almost blow themselves up on the roof.”

“We didn’t get blown up!” Mike grouched, “It was a live wire that started sparking, I had everything under control. And I don’t need anyone throwing themselves a pity party over me while I’m sleeping.”

Hmm… 

“Was it your plan, then, for Timothy to be set up in the medical ward on fluids? Had some scheme that required him to stay home tomorrow?” Nell asked, a bit pointed, as she gently pushed up his singed sleeves and started dabbing in the gel to the pink streaks on his forearms.

Which seemed to work as Mike bit his words and looked away, his ears and tail flicking. “...should’ve brought extra gloves.”

“For yourself too?” Nell, feather-light, tapped one of his bound fingers, prompting an instinctive flinch. “You know…I’ve never seen a ‘taur use a beaststone. I didn’t think it was possible for any non-metamorphic race to use them.”

Mike shrugged, expression tense, as he wasn’t sure how to navigate the whiplash from being scolded like a dumbass and then praised as an innovate one sentence to the next. 

“The consequences of tampering with the castle for you will be negligible, considering. You’ll still have this room, Mike. And I, and I’m sure Guard Katsuki, will keep you out of youth custody, as a runaway.” Nell glanced up to Katsuki, receiving a nod and a quiet, “Affirmative”.

“...but I will be sending correspondence to your guardians, to answer for your vandalism.” Catching the fire in his eyes as he looked up, she quickly amended, “Even if it was planned and in control, you didn’t clear it with castle maintenance, so it’s still vandalism.”

When she didn’t continue, though, he gave her a strained, confused look. “...and…not to drag me back?”

“We’ll see about it, Mike,” Nell said softly. “Finish this water, then get some rest, alright? Come by the medical wing tomorrow so someone can check on the burns, or I’ll come looking for you to do it myself.”

The boy only looked to the side with a sour expression, but Nell had a feeling it got through anyway. 

“...Tim’s dad owes me a pair of pants,” he demanded.

Snorting, Nell nodded as she rose from the floor. “You know, I think he does too. I’ll make sure to send him the bill. Goodnight, Mike.”

“Whatever. Get the hells out of my room.”

-

Tim had been asleep by the time Kaito had gotten up there, and gone to sit with Maki, the two looking over him.

“Why the limp?” Maki asked after a moment of silence.

“Let’s just say Tim’s friend is a kicker,” Kaito winced, sighing, “I’m gonna ask the healers to look at it in a second, but just so you know, Dr. Pacuvius threatened to tell you if I didn’t, before she thought to threaten to tell Kokichi and Shuichi.”

“Good.” 

“Yeah, I thought that’d make you happy.” Kaito smiled, before wincing again, holding his side, though that wasn’t really what he wanted to cup at the moment. Owww… what was that? Something felt… off. Downstairs. “They say when he’s gonna be recovered?”

“The word is that he’ll make a full recovery, and we can even minimize the scar it’d leave on his hand,” Maki said, “But I’ve been told to push for a week in bed, even if he starts feeling better before that. The thought process being not to put his heart through too much stress, just in case it needed recovery.”

“Just in case? They’re not sure?” Kaito quietly asked her.

“They seemed sure he was fine. The rest is still a precaution though,” Maki said, before sighing, “What on earth are we going to do with him?”

“I’m open to suggestions.”

“We beat him until the very idea of going to the tower sends him crying in the fetal position,” Maki said darkly, “...whenever I was banned from a place, it always just made me want to go more.”

“Yeeeep. Same.” Kaito said, resting his head on his hand, “We could cut off his feet? Make it harder to climb.”

“Mmm.”

“We could set new roof rules that make the roof easier to explore?” Kaito tried, “And make it less interesting? Like, it’s no fun sneaking to the roof if you can just walk through the door and be on a patio.”

“That never stopped you from sitting over the edge of your own balcony,” Maki reminded him, Kaito groaning at the memory, “Or me attempting unsafe climbing areas I was warned away from for being above my level.”

“Yeah… shit, Maki, I have no idea what to do. Nothing stopped you from taking risks, and Mr. Nidai tried. And I was a menace. And Uncle Shuichi was a menace. And Uncle Kokichi was a menace… How do we break the cycle of menaces?” Kaito asked… before looking at her. “Stop snickering, I’m serious.”

“Sorry, just laughing at our situation,” Maki said, before sighing, “...we could make this next week very, very annoying? Make him just want to avoid getting injured to not have to deal with bedrest again?”

“No way I can keep it up. He’s gonna be bored out of his mind in three days and I’m gonna be fighting the impulse to entertain him.” Kaito said, “He’s already grounded for running off from the library.”

“We really jumped the gun with that one. Really didn’t see him topping himself that quickly,” Maki mused. “...a… ugh,” Maki rolled her eyes, “What about a book report about electricity?”

“What?”

“He hates book reports. We’ll make him write a book report. Since someone stopped me from doing any practical punishments.” 

“Hey, I volunteered cutting off his feet, I don’t know what else you want from me.” Kaito sighed, “...a book report on electricity?”

“Mmhm.”

“Ugh, that means I have to both read a book report on electricity and also probably help him outline it… yeah, alright, deal. But we’re sticking to his grounding this month! Kid already aged me five years with the library stunt, I’m gonna collapse dead by 30 at this rate… ow.” Kaito winced, having tried crossing his legs. “Okay, I gotta go get this checked on.”

Kaito did go get it checked on. And later, when Shuichi and Kokichi could both come to medical to check on Tim, Shuichi having been with Miyako and Kokichi having been at work, the look on Kaito’s face was best described as ‘haunted’. 

-

Doppio was…worried. Apparently Tim had gotten into some trouble with a friend the night before and was on bed rest…from giving himself an electric shock. Which was just…wild. So he had gone to make some breakfast items he’d noticed the younger boy liked, and took Chase out on a walk for Tim, and that helped ease some of the anxiety of that situation…

And kind of of his personal one too, because by the time Doppio brought Chase back in, it was just about time to…meet his next batch of prospective parents. The ones that knew about psychic stuff. The ones he’d managed to actually remember a little about, and so he was the most nervous about meeting because…against everything, Doppio had started to hope a little. 

So, waiting with Peach and Aurange, they waited for Lazaro Gepano and Dante Nero to arrive. 

Which they did just on time, opening the door and… Doppio’s eyes widened a little. The first thought in his head being, ‘Martedi infuocato, they look like models!’

Which, they did. While their application papers said that they were in their late-30s to mid-40s, Lazaro and Dante looked…young. Late-20s at most. And drop dead gorgeous. 

Lazaro strutted into the room first, sharp, yet delicate features set in a sort of lazy sternness, mirrored in his slouched stance, hands in his suit pants’ pockets (because the man was wearing a suit) but still looking…professional. Like he was in full control of the situation, but so much so that he didn’t have to expend any effort ever reminding people of that fact. His blond hair was pulled back tight, not a strand out of place, though Doppio could spot a hand-twisted cigarette behind his ear. Finished off with what looked like a velvet choker and a long pendant that filled the space of his open shirt down to under his ribs, and he cut the intimidating figure. 

Which was all the more baffling to think, considering the man just behind him. You’d think someone standing at 6’7” tall, built like a carriage-loader, with silvery tousled hair and red eyes with…black sclera would be the first person you noticed, but…no. And that wasn’t because Dante lacked his own presence. While Lazaro implicitly demanded attention, Dante was more subdued, and yet implied a hidden steel strength. The same reflected in his fashion, just a tight black t-shirt under a black duster (neither doing anything to hide the giant’s muscles) and black pants with a white striped detailing…and yet, the monochrome was anything but boring. 

Doppio stared wide-eyed at the duo, all but shaking in his seat. 

“Sorry for the delay in setting up the meeting, we were waiting for this ziofa to pick its damn time of day to show up,” Lazaro said, knocking his knuckles back against the box (Doppio blinked, actually taking in it was there) Dante was holding. Dante gave a nod to Doppio and the agents and set the box down before he and Lazaro took their seats. 

O.O

OoO holy shit dude the parent wannabees can GET IT

Amiana fluttered around the two men, peering them over curiously, something appraising in her gaze… before, nose bleeding, she gave Doppio an approving thumbs up. If nothing else! They were hot!

Trying not to be too obvious about giving Amaina A Look, Doppio took a breath against his nerves and gave the two men a nod. “That’s alright, I’m just, um, looking forward to meeting you now. Um…I-I guess you know, but… I’m Aceto Doppio, though most people just call me Doppio.”

Lazaro gave a knowing but gracious nod. “I am Lazaro Gepano,” he left a space, filled by a deep, “Dante Nero,” from Dante, before giving Doppio a more appraising gaze. “Most people call you Doppio on their own, or because you prefer it over Aceto?”

While Doppio often introduced it as an option, he did tend to prefer ‘Doppio’. Because of not wanting to constantly hear the butchering of his name, but… Doppio blinked, catching the…perfect pronunciation. And connecting the filler Lazaro had said earlier, the hints of an accent in both their voices…

…it was because people said it wrong, but…also because Doppio had been called Doppio by his father. The pride of that being his name so intrinsically tied with his love of acknowledgement from someone who he’d never dared to ask for more…

…but Doppio deserved more. And while there was something special in only Arven calling him Aceto…

“Um…” Doppio rubbed his watch nervously, though there was a shy smile on his face. “Usually I prefer it because people say it wrong, but…since you don’t, I don’t mind either way… Um.” He glanced over. “What…is in the box, then?”

Lazaro nodded, something approving in the action. “Say it right or don’t say it at all--I can respect those standards.”

Lifting it and setting it on the side of the coffee table between them closest to Doppio, Dante nodded. “...your file said that you have anxiety.”

While Doppio blushed as he opened the box, Lazaro elaborated, “Take it or leave it, it’s a gift for you to do as you see fit. But we wanted to bring something to the meeting. It’s a weighted blanket--not skimping on the ‘weighted’ part, so it’d be easier to leave it in the box to move unless you want to walk around smothered.”

Pulling out just the corner of the blanket…uh, yeah, no kidding. With a blanket like this…and then imagining Arven on top of it too? Doppio’s eyes widened a little in excitement before he smiled at the couple. “Um, thank you very much. I, uh… Kinda wish I’d cooked something for the meeting now…”

Aurange and Peach glanced over at each other, both seated ever so slightly behind Doppio. The goal was always to let the children and their potential caretakers take the lead in these exchanges, while simply being nearby in case any sort of confrontation happened that required assistance, or more often, if someone had a question they could answer right away. 

But Doppio was always unfailingly polite to the potential candidates, and it seemed like that rule wasn’t going to be broken by this interview. 

Meanwhile, Amaina looked over the weighted blanket… before making a valiant attempt to try to snoot underneath it, huffing when she couldn’t pick it up. Going red in the face as she tried to fold it up with her tiny little arms. 

>///< grrrrr

OOO THIS THING IS A DEATH TRAP ABORT ABORT ABORT THEY’RE TRYING TO SMOOSH YOU

As Amaina whined and thrashed helplessly ‘fighting’ the blanket, Peach decided to add in, “Doppio here truly is an excellent cook, so when he says he’d have cooked something, it truly does mean we all missed out. His baking is to die for!”

Honestly, he thought that was kind of the point, Amaina. 

As Doppio blushed a little, though smiling pleased at the praise, Lazaro nodded approvingly. In the ‘hobby’ section of Doppio’s file cooking had been…pretty much the primary entry, so they had known that going into this (along with some other sources). “I’d feel lucky to get to try something of yours. While I don’t indulge the stupidi stronzini freeloaders, I tend to do most of the cooking in the house. Haven’t had a focus on vegetarian meals, but I’d be interested in learning some from you, Aceto.”

“Had to cut a deal not making a full nine-course to bring over, since the others would’ve wanted to send food over too,” Dante mentioned. 

Lazaro rolled his eyes a bit. “It’s the castle! They’re obviously not starving you, little that you are,” he gestured to Doppio, “but no, bringing over a seurrola would be too much, especially with strunzioi strapping us down with gallons of gelato and the stupid scientist trying to sneak you alcohol, trying to paint him as the ‘cool’ one,” Lazaro scoffed, gesturing around with his hands. But for all the exasperation there was a certain…something to it that made Doppio relax his shoulders a bit. 

“Well, I appreciate the thought, anyway,” he half-laughed softly. “Um…maybe there’d be a chance for, uh…all that later.” Rubbing his wrist, he cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Your file said you lived in a townhouse with other people…?”

Dante nodded. “It’s a collective living situation. We all have our own spaces, however, and any place you wanted privacy we’d ensure for you.”

“Though we live with some nosy vafammocc,” Lazaro sighed. “You’d meet them before committing to anything, of course, but the shitty scientist, hockey player, and good for nothing have the upper floor, and Edgardo and Abrame have the side detach. There are different entrances for all the residences so you don’t have to walk through someone else’s space to go in and out.”

Doppio nodded slowly, a little intimidated, though he’d known that, sorta, going in. “I’ve, uh… Only ever lived with my dad, so that’s a little…”

Dante sighed knowingly in the space Doppio left after trailing off. “It is. But setting boundaries makes it work out.” There was barely a change in expression, but somehow the area around Dante just seemed…darker. “We’d make sure of it.”

“The others are excited to meet you, in any case, so their bumbling’d just be from idiocy, rather than anything malicious.” Lazaro paused there, before gesturing in a circle. “Idiots, but my idiots, si? Famiglia. Anyone else says that stuff and they answer to me.”

Even without the amend--which…Doppio was both surprised and a little comforted by--that was kind of the impression he’d gotten. Which was…nice. 

O.O

OoO Okay but I get to call them idiots right?

OOO IM YOUR BEST FRIEND IM BASICALLY FAMILY

O.O

OOO TELL ‘EM DOPPIO

Lazaro leveled a piercing gaze on…right where Amaina was, before saying, “In the vein of your connections… We’d be more than happy to host friends and such. Home is the heart, and bustling keeps it alive, beating.”

Doppio blinked, glancing between them before nodding awkwardly. “Oh, um…g-great? I, uh… Yeah. I have a boyfriend, and, um… One of our, and, my, kind of…big stipulations was us being able to spend time together. Like, um…staying the night and stuff.” When he got easy nods from the other two, Doppio took a breath and looked off to the side, pulling his limbs in a bit. “And, um, about my dad… He’s, uh… He’s recently been admitted to a group hospital, s-so, um… He wouldn’t be around himself, but, the, uh…business. That, um…”

“We heard,” Dante said, consolidating Doppio’s mumbles. “...and our condolences, Aceto. While we can meet now, and that’s a happy thing, the pain this whole process has caused you is a shame.”

Doppio looked up in slight surprise as Lazaro continued. “A rough background isn’t new to us and ours. Dante and I want to build up a better future, for us and you, in particular, but if the past comes to knock, we would be prepared. In several manners. We would keep you, and those you care about, safe from scars that would resurface.”

Stunned, Doppio nodded slowly, before stammering out, “U-um! I have more friends! Uh, I-I’m part of a chess club, a-and my friend Hinata is teaching me martial arts, so…if they could…?”

“Of course,” Lazaro said, like it wasn’t a thing.

“We have a pool,” Dante thought to add. 

Doppio’s gaze lit up. They had a pool…

-

Kaito was not spying. He wasn’t. He was not hovering outside the door. He wasn’t even in the hallway! 

He was waiting at the staircase at the edge of the first step.Twirling his thumbs rapidly around each other, glancing over at the entranceway that the potential parents would have to leave by. No one told him when they were coming no matter how much he offered to bribe them, the cowards, but usually someone would take pity on him once Doppio was actually in there and let him know so that he could check on Doppio afterwards. Kaito had not known once an interview had happened till the next day and had looked notably depressed the rest of day, earnestly trying to find out more information in case it ended up that those would be The Ones.

Kaito was not letting Doppio run off with just some… some strangers! Kaito was at least going to see them! And see if they looked like creeps! No creeps were adopting Doppio! 

Ow-ow-ow, he shouldn’t have moved his hip. Fuck… 

Doppio was a little nervous that he was…he didn’t know. Letting an arbitrary first impression cement itself while he made weak excuses to enable it. But…if he were to trust his feelings, then genuinely? He liked Lazaro and Dante. Despite his intimidating stature and looks, Dante was soft spoken and reassuring, confident in a quiet way and perceptive, and Lazaro was animated, but not…zany? Doppio got the impression of someone who knew exactly what they wanted in life and so just…didn’t give a shit about any of the fluff. And…they were both encouraging and…seemed like they really wanted a kid. 

Lazaro had raised his kid brother from basically infancy, and while Paolo had flown the nest--a fisherman, Doppio had learned, so he was out on the sea for the majority of the year, but still came back to family time to time--and Lazaro and Dante had gotten married and settled into their relationship, built a family of community and friends…they wanted a kid. To share in the happiness of life with and nurture, and…Doppio found that old longing in him sparked by their words. 

So it was with a promise for a second meeting that they left the parlor together, still chatting about lighter things, Doppio smiling brightly. And…

“Kai-chan…” Kokichi sighed, looking down at his husband from higher on the stairs, having been walking down with Ikuo. “How many times has Doppio-kun asked you not to do this?”

But it wasn’t Kaito’s presence or Kokichi’s disappointment that got the attention of the group on the floor. It was Ikuo’s muted look of shock, the monotone of his voice baffled as he called out, “Laz?”

And Lazaro paused, turning. The silence heavy, before he returned, “...Kauzaki.”

Kaito blinked. Wow… why was Doppio hanging out with two hotties? Was his interview canceled? Wait, who were these guys, they looked too old to be one of Arven’s little high school friends… god damn, they were both attractive as hell, but that bigger guy had an aura… though the thinner one had an easy confidence that was very charming– “‘Kichi!” Kaito whispered, looking over his shoulder, surprised to see his husband, “Come here, come here, you gotta see these two guys I spotted!”

Though, Kokichi guessing why he was there caused Kaito to wilt a little, putting his hand over his mouth as he tried to argue, “I’m not doing anything, I’m just hanging out in the entrance hall, don’t get Doppio’s attention…”

Kaito glanced up at Ikuo, puzzled, before looking at the skinnier guy, then up at Ikuo, then back at the skinny guy… and his eyes suddenly widened in wonder. Face burning red, almost hot enough for steam to radiate off him, as he said, “Oh.”

The silence sat for another moment before Ikuo finished going down the stairs, Lazaro walking forward a few steps to meet him…though not much. Still very obviously with Dante and Doppio, the latter of whom’s smile had faded in nervous confusion, as he looked between Lazaro and Prince Kokichi’s dad. 

“Been a while,” Ikuo finally said, giving Lazaro a nod. “Hear’ from Paolo tha’ ya got hitched, bit back. Congrats.” He nodded to Lazaro and Dante. 

While Dante nodded his thanks back, Lazaro’s gaze got drier. “I did think you and my brother still wrote. You ended up in the castle, then?”

Ikuo hummed an affirmative, glancing over as Kokichi joined him, deciding that was better than spying by the stairs with Kaito…which drew Doppio’s gaze, his nerves going flat with exasperation. 

“Found a good spot fer m’sel’, yeah.”

“Old friend of yours?” Kokichi asked, before tentatively smiling at the couple. “It’s wonderful to meet you! I’m Kokichi, any friend of my dad’s is a friend here.”

Lazaro raised an eyebrow--Prince Kokichi…Ikuo’s son?--as Ikuo introduced, “Lazaro Gepano--”

And Kokichi let out a shocked sputter. “Wh-wai-what, that, WHAT?!”

Lazaro sighed, pinching between his brows, as, while not changing expression, Dante seemed to gleefully illuminate, “Hn. You two were in the Bunny Men together, weren’t you.”

“Nice to meet you, Prince Kokichi. I’m Lazaro’s husband, Dante.”

Doppio glanced at Kaito, giving him a bewildered look, like, ‘...you following any of this?’

Kaito looked practically giddy on the stairs, watching with rapt attention, literally only missing a bag of popcorn to finish the look. This was thrilling. Kokichi’s hot dad had a hot ex! Who was married to another hottie! Kaito was literally looking at a buffet of hot older guys, and he could not be more thrilled! And they all had interpersonal drama! 

When he caught Doppio’s eye, he gave him a grin, like ‘You’re following this right??’

OmO Munch munch munch

OoO you think this is gonna turn into one of those copper-novelas and the guy in the hat is gonna challenge your new hot dads for the smaller hot dads hand?

Amaina glanced over at Doppio from his shoulder, munching on some popcorn, curious.

Ikuo gave his son a nod. “Aye. Laz joined ‘boutta year ‘fore I did, ‘n we spent a few years ‘n th’ troupe together.”

…Lazaro did not look old enough for that to be true. In fact, if Kokichi was remembering right, he…barely looked older than the portrait of the troupe that Ikuo had from one of his last years in it. Kokichi had looked at that picture a lot, as his dad told stories about his acrobatic days. 

But he did know better than to take appearance as a correct indication of age. 

“This…is a coincidence,” Kokichi finally put together, before he centered himself with a smile. “Well, I’m honestly thrilled to meet you; I’ve always loved hearing about the Bunny Men. Though, we don’t mean to keep you, if you were heading out. I hope you guys had a good meeting?”

He asked that a little more to Doppio, who, while still pretty…confused, gave Kokichi a shy, yet hopeful nod. 

“Might run into you again soon,” Dante rumbled. 

“Things do have a habit of looping back on themselves,” Lazaro sighed, before giving Ikuo a nod…and turning back towards Doppio with an expectant look. “We’ll see you soon, Aceto. And come to our next meeting with an appetite.”

Doppio smiled with soft excitement. “You too. See you.”

Kaito got up from the staircase– ow-ow-ow– shaking out his leg a bit as he winced, before excitedly waving Doppio over, since Kokichi seemed to be focused on his father. “Come here, come here, come on, don’t make me walk out there.” Kaito whispered to him in a hush, looking excited.

Doppio sent Kaito a brief dirty look before it eased into worry. Following Kaito’s request, he came over to the stairs, looking Kaito over. “...what happened to you? Did…you get hurt with Tim too, or…” A pained, almost horrified grimace spread across Doppio’s face. “Please don’t tell me you fell off the roof.”

“No, no, a small child kicked my ass, it was a whole thing, anyway,” Kaito whispered, still looking excited, practically glowing as he kept peeking over at his husband and father-in-law, “Who were those two guys? I mean, I get that one of them is Ikuo’s ex, but… those weren’t your interviews today, were they??”

…Kaito hadn’t looked that bad when Doppio kicked his ass. Which, Doppio had to remind himself, was a good thing, because he didn’t want Kaito to be hurt… But that did still sting the ego a bit. 

Crossing his arms, Doppio glowered at Kaito. “That’s none of your business. As I’ve told you plenty of times.”

“...”

“...but, yeah, they were,” Doppio muttered, loosening his crossed arms and shifting his weight petulantly. “Dante and Lazaro. They’re nice. Got me a blanket.”

“Ooooooh my gooooood,” Kaito whispered, eyes still sparkling, “Do you know what that means? If you pick them, we’re gonna be practically related! In terms of soap drama connections! Cause, okay, okay, so here’s my guess, right?” Kaito whispered, pointing to Ikuo, “So you recognize him right? Of course you do, he’s a good guy, I bet he’s talked to you a thousand times. Okay, so, based on everything we just saw? I think that the pretty blond was maybe close to Kokichi’s dad in a performance group when they were younger, right?”

“Which, sure, sure, no big deal, right? But,” Kaito whispered, shaking his index finger excitedly, “Here’s the twist, see, I’m pretty sure Ikuo went from that troupe straight to this castle to raise Kokichi. So! If they were dating, and assuming Kokichi isn’t actually just really naive about his dad’s dating life, that could be the last guy Ikuo’s been in a relationship with.”

Kaito gasped, like he shocked himself, before continuing quickly, “So, so, so, running into each other, after all of this time, blond married to that beautiful stone adonis he’s with? Maybe lingering feelings? Regret? Drama?” Kaito gushed, eyes still sparkling, “Of course they don’t get back together, obviously, but there’s still that tension of lost love, and, I bet, I bet, that they were rivals too back in the day? Competing acrobatics, both trying to be the best of the best. So they start that rivalry back up! And our families are connected through a good ol fashion kismetic relationship, but one of the nice ones, rather then the kind of scary and mean ones. Gah! That’s so exciting!”

“...oh!” Kaito grinned at him, “Did you like them? Were they nice? Wait, no you just said that, a blanket, right? That’s awesome! It’s a nice blanket?” 

Doppio made a face. He was not going to let Kaito be a deciding factor in the parents he’d choose…but being “related” was kind of a point against Lazaro and Dante. Though, as Kaito explained his…dramatic fantasy, that relation was negligible at best. “...don’t get weird about the people I’m interviewing to maybe be my parents.”

“I think that boat’s already sailed, Doppio,” Kokichi said, walking over to them with a half-amused, half-tired look. “Kai-chan’s weird about my dad. It never stops being weird.”

Doppio’s face increased its ‘faceness’. Gross… He didn’t want the guy desperately trying to be his dad to get weird about his potential dads. Especially when they were old enough to be his dad too. 

“Lazaro didn’t mention having been…an acrobat, before, though,” Doppio sighed. “That’s pretty cool… And, yeah, they were…”

Pausing, Doppio held up a finger before skittering away, soon returning with a box in his arms. He looked at Kaito, before smirking a little. “...I’d offer for you to look at it, but…you’d have to watch your back. It’s…yeah. It’s a nice blanket. It…” His expression softened. “It was really thoughtful.”

“I love you, Kokichi,” Kaito told his husband brightly, leaning down to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, before wincing, grunting as he straightened up, shaking out his leg again, “Auuugh, getting up these stairs is gonna be a bitch… promised Tim I’d grab him some snacks while I was down here too.”

And, as Doppio skittered away to go get his gift, Kaito smiled lightly watching him go… before giving Kokichi a quick look, “Ikuo okay?”

Kaito grinned as Doppio came back to show off the blanket, “Awww, that’s awesome. Is it one of those heavy blankets? That box looks like it has heft to it! Awww, you looked happy when you were walking with them. It was actually why I wasn’t sure if they were your interview or not. You never look happy after those things… probably because you usually see me afterwards, but! You look happy now even after seeing me! That’s a good sign, right?” Kaito asked brightly.

“I can help run ‘em up,” Kokichi promised, hugging Kaito back before giving him a look that wasn’t quite puzzled, but edging towards that area. “Yeah, he’s fine. Was just surprised to see an old familiar face. Apparently Dad and Paolo, Lazaro’s brother, have kept up correspondence, but Dad didn’t know that Lazaro and his husband lived in Usott so…just surprising.”

With a slightly shifty look, Kokichi asked, “...do you think it’d be too weird if I asked for his autograph? I never got to see the Bunny Men, but from my dad’s stories and the tricks he’s taught me… I always thought the troupe were really cool. It’s kind of…amazing to meet an old member now.”

It was probably better for Kaito’s health, but Doppio was a little disappointed when he didn’t even try to hold the box. But extremely mild prank failed… Doppio sighed. “I really wish you weren’t a measurement for this thing? But…they’re cool. I like them.”

Smiling shyly, Doppio looked down at the blanket. “They heard that weighted blankets can help anxiety, so…even if I didn’t want to meet with them again, they wanted to gift this to me. A-and Lazaro really likes cooking, and…they both have family from Tsumari, so they can speak it, and they really like that style of cooking, and next time we meet Lazaro said he was going to make his eggplant and tomato tuberi ripeni and I’m gonna make something too. They live in a townhouse with some other guys, w-who I’m probably gonna meet eventually, if things go well, and…they all sound really close. Um, it turns out, actually, two of them I’ve met before? They own an ice cream place, um, the place I go after therapy sometimes. And it just…”

Doppio shrugged a little. “...they seem nice.”

“‘Kichi, ‘Kichi, ‘Kichi, you hear that?” Kaito grinned, tapping his husband's arm and grinning conspiratorily, “Kids got an inside hookup to an ice cream parlor. Do I deliver on cool people to bring into our lives or do I deliver? Watch, before we know it, the mean kicking kid is gonna have a hookup at a candy place maybe! Maybe not the mean hill kid. Mean hill kid is probably a net-loss.”

Kokichi’s eyes did gleam a bit at Doppio’s mention of the ice cream place. He had sympathized with how horrible the teen had felt before, but…Kokichi had been thinking about that gelato he’d shared more than once since. There was nothing really keeping him from going to the shop himself, but…it was always nice having a connection. 

Doppio pouted at Kaito. “They applied through adoption services ages ago, that wasn’t you.” He frowned a little more. “...and… Are you talking about Josie? Josie’s super nice, how could you…” Doppio glared. “Did you bother him too while he’s been dealing with his health stuff? I know you guys ran into each other, and Dr. Mariah sighed about it too, but…” 

Doppio grunted in frustration. “Could you stop? For like two seconds? And interact with people like a normal person?”

“Doppio,” Kokichi warned, frowning slightly. “Affirming your boundaries is important, but phrasing it like an attack isn’t helpful.”

Doppio sighed, deflating a bit.

“I didn’t bother him during his health stuff! …I mean, if it’s what you’re talking about, I might have stumbled onto him at the start of some health stuff…the guy got caught in the rain and I took him to a diner to dry off, that’s all. We talked and we did not hit it off, that’s all.” Kaito said, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m sure he is very nice. I just caught him on a bad day.”

“And thank you babe~” Kaito grinned at his husband, before looking to Doppio and raising an eyebrow, “And, seriously, ‘can I interact with someone like a normal person’... have you ever seen me act ‘normal’? Ever? You’re asking a lot, Doppio.”

Doppio still gave Kaito a suspicious look. He knew just how horribly Kaito could make a bad situation worse…and Josie really was a nice person. It wasn’t like Doppio was a student, but just through their interactions during chess club this week… Josie had looked tired, and the others in his grade had seemed both worried but also relieved to see him there. 

…he’d been really encouraging when Doppio and Arven revealed their full pokemon set, and hearing him gush about the Horsea they’d made him… Doppio wouldn’t wish Kaito on Josie. 

Sighing, Doppio gave Kaito an unhappy look. “You could still try. And then people wouldn’t have to rehash the same boundary talks with you five million times, and your family and therapist wouldn’t have to plead with you to stop kidnapping people. Have…” Here Doppio’s expression looked almost desperate. “...have you ever just had an interaction with someone and left being just like…oh that was nice??? And not come away with huge assumptions about their life which you refuse to ever budge from, or some overwhelming possession over their personhood? Are you ever just happy to see someone who has a life outside of you?”

“...” Kaito opened his mouth, paused… before rubbing the back of his neck, looking away awkwardly, “...uuuuuh… hah, excellent points. Um… oh!” Kaito grinned, clapping his hands together, before saying brightly, “Nope, I’ve got no good ways out of this convo! But, you have excellent points, Doppio, and I want you to remember this is a super good day! Where you maybe met your parents for the very first time? It’s a great day! I’m really excited for you!”

“Maybe it’s just because we were talking about ice cream before, but I wanna bring some ice cream up for Tim too.” Kaito said ‘distractedly’, clapping his hands a few more times as he glanced to the dining hall. Do not let the kid see you were sad. This was his big day! Muscle through!

Kokichi sighed. The truth was, some of Doppio’s points were…right. And not just right in a ‘cruel truth’ sort of way. They were things they all had been talking to Kaito about for…a long time. Weeks, now, as a group, but…longer, in different ways, at different points. But the other points…

“Doppio-kun… It’s pretty cruel to ask someone if all their relationships are what you’ve decided is trash,” Kokichi said softly. “It may feel like a genuine question to you, but it’s heavily informed by your life perspective, and it’s not a fair thing to ask. You don’t know Kai-chan’s life, and you’re not privy to all his relationships…and you’re not entitled to be. You don’t get to make moral judgments on another person like that.”

“I’m not--!” Doppio started to protest, before he cut himself off in a huff. 

Kokichi nodded with a small smile. It was a tough lesson he’d learned too. “You can only decide things for your own relationship.”

Grimacing, Doppio frowned before sighing, looking up at Kaito. “...I’m sorry. You frustrate me a lot, but…” he looked to the side, shrugging, “...I don’t know what your relationships with other people are like. I still feel like I have a point,” he pouted at Kokichi, “...but…I shouldn’t just…make an overview of you like that. Sorry.”

“...do you need help bringing things up for Tim? I could take Chase out on another walk if she needs it,” Doppio offered, frowning in concern. 

Kokichi smiled softly. “You go put your blanket away first, then we can ask Tim if he wants some company. Bedrest can be pretty boring, but I don’t know if he’s so desperate as to settle for hanging out with some old farts yet.”

“Well, wait, I mean–” Kaito looked a bit fitfully between Kokichi and Doppio, feeling like they had lost the thread a bit. He appreciated his husband going to bat for him! He did! But… Doppio wasn’t actually asking about all the relationships in his life, right? It hadn’t been a literal question, it had been an exaggerated scenario to show how few ‘normal’ relationships and interactions Doppio had seen in Kaito’s life. Taking his question literally defeated the whole argument and didn’t actually progress them anywhere.

But… well, Doppio and Kokichi both seemed done, and Kaito desperately didn’t want to stress Doppio out on a day that hopefully, if it all went well, would be an incredibly meaningful memory to Doppio. So after floundering for a moment, Kaito just laughed and shrugged, “Oh, no worries! No need to apologize, it’s all good. Thank you though!”

“And, you do still have a point,” Kaito said, a little haplessly, not wanting Doppio to walk away feeling like Kaito had entirely missed it, ya know… again. “And I’m sorry, I’ll keep working on it.”

“...do you think we can give Miyako a tiny bit of icecream?” Kaito whispered to his husband in sudden wonder.

Doppio still gave Kaito a slightly frustrated look before nodding, heading off to bring the blanket to his room. It…was starting to ache his arms a bit…

Kokichi…knew this wasn’t the end of it, but hopefully it was another step. And he gave Kaito an impish smile. “...we should be prepared if her body doesn’t do dairy well, but I think ice cream would blow her mind,” he grinned, “Should we start her at vanilla? For a true baseline? Or go all in on something crazy?”

Kaito watched Doppio go for a moment, concerned… before turning to his husband, grinning at him as he lightly rubbed his back, “Slow down sugar fiend, I’ve seen you go crazy with ice cream, Miyako doesn’t need a rainbow swirl with fruit chunks and all the toppings. A little bit of vanilla, we’ll start small.”

Kokichi laughed, both sheepish and not at all sorry. “It’s a classic for a reason. Ooooo, I hope this makes her reconsider her stance about ‘cold’.” He paused, before smiling brightly at Kaito. “...but we can get something with fun toppings for Tim, though, right? Bedrest really does suck.”

The smile faded slightly. “Should we get something for his friend too? You said he was injured too, right?”

“I know it does,” Kaito reassured, leaning in to kiss Kokichi’s temple, lightly petting the back of Kokichi’s neck, “We’ll get him those cookie chunks on top he likes so much. And I’ll make a second run if he wants something else, I know it’s a bummer. He’ll be up in no time flat though!”

“And, Mike? Oh, yeah, he is. But, if we’re going too, could you bring him the ice cream. I guarantee he’ll be nicer to you then to me, and I get the feeling that if he saw me limping, he’d actually cheer or something.” Kaito mused, “Like, he’s got that vibe, you know? I don’t need a kid pointing and laughing at me cause he managed to knick me a little, my ego will crumble to dust, babe. Dust. Though, yeah, ice cream would be good, he’s kinda having a rough time, is what I’m gathering.”

Hell yeah, Kokichi was absolutely raking in the Uncle Points, even if they never told Tim about his vouch. It was all about seeing his nephew healthy and happy. (Though Shuuichi might playfully insist on more tangible criteria.)

“I can do that,” Kokichi hummed, kissing Kaito’s shoulder affectionately. “My poor, suffering husband… Been through so much for the kids around us, I can take on a pittance to protect your ego.”

“Though I’m not exactly thrilled about him wailing on you,” Kokichi admitted, getting a little more serious. “But I’m sure getting a lecture is the last thing a kid going through a rough time wants. Hopefully the ice cream cheers him up a bit.” …and, look, Kokichi wasn’t hoping to get an apology out of it…but it would still be nice. 

“Eh, he was just panicking babe, it was a very ‘panic attack’ response. And, well… you know how those work,” Kaito shrugged, “Though, admittedly, that’d definitely something he’s gotta cope with before he gets bigger. He’s got a powerful kick for an itty bitty thing, I can only imagine the sort of knockouts he’ll be capable of after puberty. Still, he’s got time to learn how to control his anger issues… thaaaat his parents will help him work through! Eh? Eeeeh? Nailing it.” Kaito grinned. “Alright, don’t race ahead of me, I’m gonna be slow. Leeet’s go, on the move. Ow… ow… on our way!”

-

It could almost be funny, the way Kokichi paralleled Kaito’s haunted look from the day before as he returned to his husbands and their room. 

Kaito had glanced over at Tim and Doppio– Doppio was working with Tim on Pokemon movesets, which pokemon was better suited for which chess piece and why– before heading back to his room, leaving them to it with their ice cream. The boys seemed like they were having fun, and Kaito appreciated Doppio taking the time to help Tim out. 

He had gone back to the bedroom more or less to check in on Shuichi and Miyako, filling them in on fun Ikuo drama, when Kokichi headed inside, Shuichi and Kaito laid on the bed, Shuichi against the head rest, Kaito on his front, with Miyako happily laid on her stomach on Kaito’s back, put there by Shuichi when Kaito had come in. 

This was why Kaito couldn’t move much when he glanced at Kokichi and, seeing the look on his face, went, “Oh… uh, everything okay, babe?”

Kokichi silently went to their bed and plopped down, reaching over to smooth his hand over Miyako’s forehead in greeting. For a moment, he just shook his head in horrified disbelief, before looking between his husbands. 

“...he doesn’t like sweets.”

“Oh, beautiful…” Kaito winced, “I’m sorry. I knew that sort of thing happened, but I never thought you’d ever have to confront it.”

“I hope he wasn’t mean about it.” Shuichi frowned, a little more serious than Kaito’s playful mourning. “I don’t care if I spark another panic attack, I will go scold these children.”

Kokichi sighed, putting a hand over his face. “From what I’ve heard about Mike, he was actually really polite about it. Basically just telling me, thanks but no thanks, he doesn’t like sweets.” Dropping his hand, Kokichi looked into the middle distance. “Not just ice cream. He doesn’t like candy or baked goods or… He even looked nauseated when I asked about chocolate… He’s 11, what kind of 11-year-old doesn’t like chocolate…”

It really was disturbing to Kokichi on some level, but the worried seriousness in his face when he turned back to his husbands was a big clue that Mike’s distaste for sugar wasn’t the only thing he had discovered. “...I stopped by the med hall on my way back. I trust that Dr. Nell looked him over alright, but…guys…” Kokichi’s expression tightened. “...he’s in so much pain. But he wasn’t showing any of it. It’s not just his burns… I couldn’t help it, his back pain feels like when I broke my arm. I think something’s seriously wrong…”

Kaito stared at his arms, lips thinning. “...his back feels like it’s broken?” Kaito asked, glancing nervously at Kokichi, “Like, not an exaggeration or a guess? You peeked?”

“...” Kaito rested his chin on his arms, “...uuuuh, see anything else? In there?”

Kokichi sighed, tugging on a few locks of his hair as he ducked his head a little guiltily. “I didn’t peek. That was just…the ambient feelings around him. It’s just like…chronic pain for him. Background noise…so I can pick that up. And, huh,” Kokichi huffed, “I know personally that chronic pain can be pretty severe, but…it surprised me how intense it was.”

“It feeling like it was broken is just my interpretation of his pain, drawing from my personal equivalent,” Kokichi explained, a gloomy set to his frown. “I don’t think he’d be walking around, or kicking you hard enough for medical treatment if it really was… But that’s what it feels like. It doesn’t really excuse it, but…” Kokichi sighed. “...I guess that might explain some of his attitude.”

“.......” Kaito kicked his legs a little, feeling Miyako gnaw on his back and thump her tiny little baby legs and baby hands against him. “..........hey, if he needed… um…”

“You look like you’re about to explode, Kaito,” Shuichi observed a tad dryly, “Do you want me to take Miyako back?”

“...yeah, please,” Kaito murmured, listening to Miyako give a confused little baby huff as she was taken away from her playspot. Kaito turning over and staring at the ceiling, before asking, “If…”

Kaito locked up again. As far as he was aware, Kokichi didn’t know about Nell, so he couldn’t ask ‘if the healers know something you don’t, how much help can they realistically give him if he had some crazy special needs without anyone else knowing about it.’ And he couldn’t just say that he knew about Mike’s crazy special needs and he just couldn’t tell them but trust him, someone… might?? Have it under control?? But he was trying so hard to be better, even if ‘better’ made him feel like actual, monstrous garbage…

“... ‘Kichi, I don’t know how to not be awful to people.” Kaito said tiredly. “I have literally no idea.”

Kokichi waited patiently for Kaito to sort out his thoughts, feeling his husband’s conflict, but not looking deeper. And it was hard, not to look deeper. To see someone struggling, and to know you could just cut through all the uncertainty and ambiguity that language and processing created, to get right to the heart of what someone meant. And, sure, sometimes that was helpful. Expressing oneself was difficult. 

But a person’s self was…vast. And complicated. And filled with any number of things that wasn’t what they actually wanted. Because what a person chose to take from themself and put out into the world was more important than every little thought they had, and actually more indicative of the person they were. So Kokichi had to choose not to take that choice away from them. 

“It’s really hard,” Kokichi agreed, scooting back on the bed to brush his fingers along the shaved sides of Kaito’s head. “We can do what we want, and see the outcome. We can do what we think is right, and see that it doesn’t always work out for other people. We can listen and observe and try to take every piece of advice and do our best to implement it, to be ‘better’...and sometimes even that won’t work out.”

“...but we should still try. Because the people we care about are worth trying to be good for.”

“...what are you feeling about Mike, hun?” Kokichi softly asked. “When I went to medical, I mentioned that he seemed like he was in pain, so… Well. I’m trusting that the next time he gets looked at for his burns, they might give him painkillers, or ask about things that are giving him issues. Should I have done something differently?” 

“Nnnnngh,” Kaito groaned, putting his hand over his face, “...look, I think I know where his pain’s coming from, that’s all. But, like… even if I tell you where the pain is coming from, I don’t think we can help him. But, I don’t know if that’s true! Because I’m just assuming we can’t! And… and he’s not my responsibility! I shouldn’t be going around, telling people things about him, just because I want to help! Other people who already know can help him! …I mean, right? That’s what I keep screwing up on, right? Forcing my help onto people?”

“Or, or, I’m being a coward who wants to be liked more than be helpful, again… or I’m just… doing the right thing but in the wrong way because I’m awkward? In which case it’s still more important to help and just take the fallback for being kind of graceless about it? Or I ask the kid in question what he wants me to do… He seemed rational and accepting of assistance, I’m sure that’ll lead to something,” Kaito grouched, looking at the roof.

“Kaito,” Shuichi sighed, “You’re whining.”

“...I know what’s wrong with the kid, but I know someone else who’s maybe better equipped to help him also knows,” Kaito said tiredly, “So… yeah. That’s what I know.”

Kokichi’s eyebrows knitted together a bit. If Kaito knew where the pain was coming from (and of everything, it didn’t seem like that was the part in question), then…it probably wasn’t chronic pain. Though that seemed to be the way Mike was dealing with it. It was scary enough, seeing what Doppio’s pain tolerance was like, and…and he was a Tulpa that had been working for the mafia. Kokichi knew he didn’t know much about Mike, but from what he did know…he was just a kid. It was a bit…not hypocritical really, considering his own life circumstances, but…kids shouldn’t be walking around with pain akin to breaking bones like it was nothing. 

It pained Kokichi, but…

He sighed. Running his thumb along the shell of Kaito’s ear. “...is the person better equipped to help…going to help? And do you trust that if Mike needed more help than they could provide, they’d ask for it?”

Kokichi’s lips thinned in worry. “...I think that’s what it might come down to. …unless you know, like…a way right away to help him?”

“Yes, I think they’re going to help,” Kaito said immediately… before wilting a bit, “And I think they’re equipped to get more help? That’s the bit I struggle with. It’s hard to be just like ‘well, they’ll figure it out’.”

“But I feel confident they’d sincerely try,” Kaito said, “And…”

And Mike’s privacy was more valuable than, fuck, was that stone just… squishing him?? Then?? Was the kid literally being folded up into a tiny little human package??? That was a shitty illusion spell if he was! Come on, they gotta make ‘em better than that! 

“...yeah. I think… we can trust them to handle it,” Kaito said, his tone a little desperate as he nodded. Yep. Totally. Was not leaving the small child to literally crush himself to death. Definitely… not what Kaito was doing… “Yeah.”

Kokichi smiled softly at the just…incredulous feelings coming off of Kaito. “...then we have to give them that trust. We can’t expect other people to put their trust in us if we can’t trust them. It’s not, ‘well, they’ll figure it out’. It’s, ‘I trust in you to do what you think is right. I’m right here if you think I’m right for the job, or if you need help in other ways.’ And it’s staying right there, without being smothering. Doing your best with your own life and responsibilities, so that all the effects from that make things easier on their end too.”

“And I don’t think it’ll be like we’ll have no hand in that pie,” Kokichi smiled, a little amused. “He’s Tim’s friend, so…as a friend, he’s still going to be in our lives. So we just be good to him.”

The smile stuck a little. “...and encourage them not to tamper with the castle’s electrical system.”

“Yeah?” Kaito asked, looking to Kokichi, before glancing at Shuichi.

Shuichi blinked, before shrugging. “Sounds good to me.”

“Ngh,” Kaito grunted, rubbing his temples, “...fine, fine, fine. But I’m not talking to children anymore! Never again!”

“Aren’t you joining the PTA?” Shuichi asked.

“I have joined the PTA, Shuichi, thank you very much. Ugh. Fine, I’ll talk to, like, a few more children. But if I literally stumble upon more kids in crisis, I’m gonna assume I’m like some sort of eldritch horror curse that’s causing these traumas in their lives. Shuichi, your first case is exorcizing me!”

“Sure,” Shuichi agreed easily, bouncing Miyako on his knee, “Will do, Kaito.”

“Okay, good. I’m glad we have a backup plan… Also, I gotta tell Tim he’s gotta write a book report about electricity.” Kaito sighed, “...I’ll tell him tomorrow. Let him enjoy his day today. He’s into all that pokemon stuff the boys are working on.”