Kirumi considered the girl for a moment, placing her hands over her skirt, and humming to herself slightly. Thinking seriously on the topic. Kirumi didn’t disrespect Waku, nor, ha, god forbid, did she disrespect brother Aiichi’s teachings, and would be remiss to dismiss them when she disagreed, but…

“...I say this with all due respect, but…I think there are limits to that philosophy. A young girl who can hear the thumping of people’s hearts and maybe sees more danger than there is in the world sometimes? That’s a different perspective that can be embraced,” Kirumi said kindly, smiling slightly down at her, “Because if we ignored her, we’d be missing out on her potentially extremely valuable insight. Her observations may not always reflect things as they are, but when they do? They are an incredible gift to have and are worth the conflict that sometimes comes with that. And she is, otherwise, a delight to have around.”

“But...there are differences far more dangerous than that. Ideas that are toxic. Beliefs that, even by entertaining them or tolerating them, cause harm in our society just by existing. The Luminaries bring different perspectives with them, yes. But those differences need to be tempered to fit into our society. Their ideas dismissed and shamed for the poison they are. They bring with them slavery. The concept of being born into hierarchy. Selfishness and greed and violence that, I’m sorry to say, Waku, I’m not entirely certain you can actually fathom, even in your darkest fantasies. That many Diceans couldn’t fathom. And the presence of their perspective, the tolerance of their beliefs? Will make Dicea worse, should they influence even just a handful of people into agreeing with them. We are already seeing signs of it in greater Dicean culture, in just since the war ended. These...Remnants of Despair? Had you even heard of such a group, right up until the treaty was signed?” she asked Waku, curious.

Waku smiled slightly at Miss Toujou’s reassurances to her own differences. She regretted what she had almost done to Kokichi. She embraced his kindness, loved that warmth, but there was a pain that had never truly faded that pierced into her when she saw the light in him. The fear and despair that she, in another world, might’ve snuffed that goodness out. 

But despite regretting the circumstances that brought her to the capital...Waku had never felt a part of something until Kokichi extended his hand. She had been alone and ridiculed and hurt and...the danger she heard wasn’t all in her head. When she repeated to herself that the castle was safe, she meant it. With every smile and shared story over dinner, when people actually listened to the words she said instead of dismissing it as hysteria--which, to be fair, it sometimes was--she felt safe. The castle was her home and family and...she might understand more than most how much certain people needed it. 

When she heard some of the fear and anger in Kaito’s heart...there was hurt there too, that she thought would be helped by the castle. But...he kept getting worse. 

Tugging on her necklace a bit, Waku frowned. She thought that she really could imagine some of the atrocities that Miss Toujou alluded to but… “...tolerance must be intolerant of intolerance. Like Aiichi says, right? Miss Harukawa and Mr. Saihara don’t have feelings like those, though. And Timothy is more scared of us than anything.”

Frowning even more as that cult came up, Waku shook her head. Then...she paused and slowly nodded, something fearful in her expression. “How some people in the...the LRG talked… It sounded a lot like how people describe the Remnants of Despair. They would talk about making Dicea better, getting back to our roots but...they didn’t really think that. At their cores...a lot of them just...wanted to pick and choose who got to live. And some of them wished that everyone would die…”

Waku’s eyes widened in old horror, remembering things that sometimes only showed up in her worst nightmares these days. “And so many people did die because of them.”

Kirumi laughed lightly at that, nodding her head. “I know I’m biased towards my own opinion, but I feel that only reinforces my concerns about Luminary. Look at what damage mere ‘ideas’ did to Dicea, not so long ago? Those idiots had different perspectives. Their madness probably only started as griping to each other about ‘the way things are’. I highly doubt no one knew how they felt about things before events reached their final, deadly consequence. More should have been done to silence them. Dismiss them, before their ideas spread and created such deadly conflict. People's power should be taken away from them before they harm someone...not after.”

Looking back to the hall that most of the Luminaries lived on, barring the ones that had returned from the war with her, Kirumi said, “And just because Maki and Shuuichi don’t share Kaito’s ideals in regards to all Luminary matters, doesn’t mean they don’t bring dangerous ideas with them. Maki is convinced things can still be solved through violence, and has already spread that idea to Timothy, who in turn, I have noted, is spreading it to that little girl who now comes and trains to ‘fight’ with him every morning. And Shuuichi literally brought poison into this kingdom. A dangerous poison, that he would have been the first to introduce to Dicea, had literal death cultists not beat him to it.”

“No...their kind? They need to be watched carefully. Every Dicean should be diligent to correct them at every opportunity, as harsh as it might seem sometimes. When they finally disavow all of their toxic beliefs? Sincerely? Then they can be treated as merely a ‘different perspective’. Not before.”

Kirumi sighed, looking genuinely troubled as she said, “I only wish I felt confident that others would agree with me. They really are so dangerous...but I fear that if I bring up my concerns to Brother Aiichi, they will not be treated as the threat they are…”

Part of Waku didn’t really like that. If it weren’t for the LRG, as horrible and terrifying as they were, she would’ve never come to the castle. But...in return, so many people would’ve kept their lives, including Kokichi’s mother. For all those lives...she would’ve taken her unhappiness. Maybe even her life, if it came down to it. 

(She had been ready to volunteer for the war, after all, even if she had only been a teenager. For the lives and happinesses of so many people that had saved her, she had been willing to risk the thing she had always fought for. But, first of all, even if they volunteered, Aiichi hadn’t let any children enter the war. And...he’d sat her down, and...he told her that he was proud. That she cared so much about their country, about their people. And while he wasn’t happy sending anyone else to fight either, he didn’t want to see it destroy her. Which...it would’ve. So...she stayed.)

Now tugging on her braids, Waku hummed. “...people should always have power over their own lives… Even when they’re taken into custody, it’s to ensure that they can have that power later. And...you’re right about Miss Harukawa but...she’s willing to do what she thinks is wrong for the outcomes she wants. She thinks it’s dumb that we don’t kill people, but she’s willing to be dumb too. She just wants to protect people.”

“And Mr. Saihara didn’t mean to bring the poison.” Waku’s expression firmed a bit. “The grief in his heart is...overwhelming, sometimes. I know it’s not very kind, but I’m glad I don’t see him that much, since it’s hard to listen to. He wanted to help people and now...he thinks he’s completely ruined his life. For a while there…” The firmness dropped into scared concern. “...that overwhelming, drowning sadness...the helplessness...it’s scary, but I’m not scared for me. I’m scared for him.”

Bolstering herself, Waku looked up at the older housekeeper with respect and resolve. “They need help. Miss Harukawa’s already learning. Mr. Saihara needs support and…” She took a shuddering breath, trying to be more than the coward she was. “And Prince Kaito needs to figure out what he really wants. Maybe that comes from corrections, maybe it comes from listening. And...change always starts with a single action.”

With a kind smile, Waku looked to Miss Toujou like they were sharing an inside joke. “Diceans never give up, after all.”

Kirumi sighed, but nodded. “Yes...I suppose we never do.”

-

Shuuichi stared at the ledger, blinking in confusion as he realized he had read the same paragraph twice now and still hadn’t taken in anything he had actually read...before looking up, glancing at the clock warily.

“...has it really been forty minutes?” Shuuichi asked, glancing at Nadya. “It only takes five minutes to get to the dining hall...I didn’t realize that much time had gone by…”

Kokichi had dozed off about ten minutes after Kaito had left, and when they heard his little, wet breaths, Nadya and Shuuichi had shared a glance and left him to it. But now...it was quite a bit later. Kaito could have used the excuse to stop working and get out for a bit but...that didn’t strike Nadya as the kind of person he was. Both for leaving his husband and...consort? While they weren’t at their best, but also to promise something like drinks and not deliver. At the very least, he seemed the type to come back with the drinks and mention that something else had caught his attention, and he’d leave after that. 

The assistant didn’t know what kind of trouble the prince could get into in the castle but…

She frowned at the clock before taking a look at Kokichi. “...I would offer to go look for Mr. Momota, but I believe leaving you with a sleeping Mr. Ouma would be the same as leaving you alone. Nor could I suggest that you leave on your own to locate Mr. Momota for the same reasons, so I suggest that we search together. Mr. Ouma’s health has not seemed to worsen past the vertigo he mentioned, so I believe it would be acceptable to leave him sleeping here.”

Standing from her desk, bending her knees a little to get the blood flowing again, she gave Shuuichi a nod. “Does that seem like a wise decision to you, Mr. Saihara?”

Shuuichi felt a sliver of shame, but...appreciated that she was thinking of stuff like that. Can’t...can’t let the drug addict go search for his boyfriend...can’t leave the dumb whore with his other, sleeping boyfriend either…

...come on, Shuuichi. Get out of your own head a little.

Nodding, Shuuichi stood up. “That sounds good. Sorry about this, Nadya. It’s not like Kaito to just disappear, so...here, let me leave a note for Kokichi to say where we’re going, if he wakes up.”

Writing it out, it was just a quick note saying he and Nadya were going to go look for Kaito, and they’d be back when they found him. Folding it up once, he went and carefully placed it on Kokichi’s side, wanting vaguely to touch Kokichi in some reassuring way but...Nadya was there. Shuuichi wasn’t sure when he’d be ready to let people know his relationship with the princes but...it still felt like a secret, right now. He knew he was the one who asked them for discretion, but...he felt like once people knew it would...be something shameful to them. Shuuichi wasn’t exactly the kind of lover worthy of showing off…

...anyway, he left the note there, and quietly left the office with Nadya, sighing as he looked around. “I suppose the logical thing to do would be to go ask the dining hall if they saw him at any point, yes? Then work it out from there.”

“Good idea,” she mentioned in reference to the note. Kokichi seemed like he was out for the count and she didn’t think finding Kaito would take all afternoon, but it was simply good planning to cover all bases. Kokichi didn’t seem like the type to freak out if he woke up to an empty office, but it was simply kind to answer his questions immediately. 

Nodding, Nadya headed towards the stairs, keeping pace with Shuuichi. “That seems like the best course of action, yes. I would ask where Mr. Momota would be most likely to be if he did not go to the dining room, but that would lead to premature speculation. Forgive me if my assumption is incorrect, but from your familiarity, I would think that that information is quick for you to access, so there is no downside in leaving things be until any of the staff in the dining hall can confirm or deny his whereabouts.”

Shuuichi nodded as they headed down the stairs. “Yes, essentially. If no one in the dining hall has any information from us, there’s really only...three? Places Kaito would willingly go to, if he wasn’t asked to go somewhere specifically. And, of those three places, only two places I believe he’d go to willingly without informing Kokichi about it beforehand, and only one...no, two people he’d let take him away, again, without informing Kokichi he was leaving beforehand.”

“So, of those options, he’s likely gone back to their room, for some reason, maybe finishing a task? Or, if something’s upset him, he’s gone to his shrine. Which..wouldn’t surprise me by this point, though there might be an issue there if he has...otherwise, Maki found him and needed him for something immediately, or the king fetched for him.”

Shuuichi shrugged, getting down to the dining room hall and opening it up for Nadya. “Beyond Maki and Aiichi, no one, I think, could convince Kaito to leave without talking to Kokichi first, so...his room, the shrine, Maki or the king. Anything else is...probably an emergency.”

“Shuuichi! Hey, welcome back to the dining hall! I haven't seen you down here in ages!” Hajime greeted, seeing Shuuichi and...wait. Hajime looked baffled as he walked up the pair, saying, “Aren’t you that baseball player? The shortstop from the Usot Andelusians? You guys went to championship like three years ago! I almost went to that game! I heard it was amazing.”

Nadya hummed quietly as she took in the information, figuring it might come in handy for more than just this incident. Bedroom, shrine (which...was interesting. A shrine to Atua, she assumed, considering the national religion of Luminary. She’d have to figure out where it was, mostly just to be able to locate Kaito in the future), and the office, though she got the impression that any time Kaito was in the office it was because Kokichi was there. 

Then, Maki and Aiichi. And probably Kokichi and Shuuichi himself, for future situations. Harder to find than a static location, but it opened more questions to ask people. 

And emergencies were emergencies, so there wasn’t really any information to collect on that. If there was an event that required Kaito’s attention, she would likely hear about it from the moment she mentioned his name, if not before.

Nodding in thanks as he opened the door, Nadya blinked in slight surprise before smiling at the man that...was likely a friend of Shuuichi’s? “I am. While I still play for the Andelusians, during this off-season I have taken a job as Mr. Ouma’s administrative assistant. I hope you can make it to future games, sir--it would be to my pleasure to entertain such enthusiastic sports fans.”

“For fear of coming off rude during our meeting, however, Mr. Saihara and I came here with a purpose. Have you seen Mr. Momota within the last forty minutes?”

Hajime smiled excitedly at this. Wow! A baseball star worked at the castle now! That was neat...but he frowned at the question, looking over at Shuuichi in concern. Now that he thought about it, it was weird that Shuuichi didn’t have one of his three shadows there… “Kaito? No, sorry, haven't seen him all day. And, I would have seen it if he had come in, I’ve been polishing metal in here for two hours now. Everything okay, Shuuichi? Do you need my help?”

Shuuichi squirmed slightly, frustrated at Hajime’s open look of concern. “No, no...we’re just trying to find Kaito. He left and didn’t come back and...well, you know. But I’m okay. Nadya’s watching.”

Hajime looked to Nadya next then. “Okay...then do you need help? I’m familiar with Shuuichi’s whole situation, if no one’s told you that yet. Maki trusts me to watch him, if you need any assistance.”

Nadya nodded, already moving down the flow chart in her head. Bedroom then shrine. If you see Maki or Aiichi on the way, ask them, but otherwise only start looking for them if Kaito was not in the bedroom or shrine. However, she was broken from her musing by the man’s concern, raising a bit of an eyebrow as she glanced over to Shuuichi. 

“Ah...thank you, but I do not think Mr. Saihara and I require any sort of help that does not pertain to Mr. Momota’s unknown whereabouts.” Explaining, she continued, “About forty-five minutes ago now, Mr. Momota left our office on the third floor to acquire refreshments for the group. However, he has not returned, so Mr. Saihara and I took it upon ourselves to see where he might have ended up.”

With a bit of a smile at her coworker, Nadya felt...sort of a desire to boost the man’s reputation. “In my personal opinion, I believe that Mr. Saihara is more qualified and better equipped to locate Mr. Momota. While I wish to help, I believe it would be more accurate to say that I am only accompanying him to ease the concerns of his friends and cohorts over his health.”

She was aware he was ill. A sort of painful illness different from Kokichi’s. Having witnessed two of his panic attacks, she was not underestimating the severity of his situation, however...he was still an incredibly capable person, and while his body and mind allowed him to work, she would not coddle him or believe that the state of pain and mania was all he was.

...she knew how important those moments could be to people.

Shuuichi glanced over at Nadya, relaxing slightly. Especially when he saw Hajime nod, before saying, “Forty-five minutes, huh? Weird...alright, well, if I see or hear anything, I’ll come up and let y’all know, okay?”

“Thanks, Hajime,” Shuuichi said, bowing his head lightly, before turning to Nadya. “Well, that rules that out...back to the third floor...oh! Hajime? Could you get a pitcher of fresh water sent up to Kokichi’s office? And could you ask whoever brings it up to be quiet about it? Kokichi is sleeping up there and might want some when he wakes up.”

Hajime promised he would, and the two made their way back up the stairs. 

As they walked, Shuuichi quietly said to her, “...thanks for that. He didn’t mean anything by it but...stuff like that can get frustrating.”

Checking the room was easy enough. Shuuichi gave their door a quick knock, before glancing inside, seeing the room was empty, but recently cleaned. Impeccably cleaned. Kirumi had been by then. Shuuichi had to watch out for that then. He was doing his best to avoid her entirely. 

Finally, it was the shrine next. 

Nadya smiled a bit at her companion. “I understand. The intention of his care is admirable, but how people put those feelings into practice is not always something appreciated. I cannot promise I will never stray into that zone, but it is not my intention to, and I hope it is not an unfair amount of effort on your part to call me out. If it is...I hope there is someone else who can, and that I do not err again.”

Nadya stood by while Shuuichi peeked into the room. It had been, in part, her office just days ago, but now it was a bedroom again and she didn’t wish to intrude on Kokichi and Kaito’s privacy. She was happy Kaito didn’t seem to find her presence uncomfortable, but she was still a stranger. Not to mention that, though Kokichi seemed to have few boundaries, she still wished to respect the standard ones. Just because someone gave you a pass didn’t mean you should take it.

Following Shuuichi to the shrine, Nadya committed the short trip to the fourth floor to memory, remembering the path to what...well, from the rest of the layout of the castle, it looked like it should be a closet. A bit odd but...not really worth mentioning until something else contributed to the matter. 

Knocking gently, Nadya called out, hoping to ease any concern that Shuuichi was by himself. “Mr. Momota? I apologize for interrupting you in your place of worship, but Mr. Saihara and I grew concerned about where you may be.”

Kaito stared miserably at the posters opposite the wall he was leaning on. Saint Madison...you’d know what to do. A proud, beautiful warrior, who had protected her brothel during an invasion on her city...he bet the staff of the brothel weren’t afraid of her...she had been a hero to them...actually good at protecting people...didn’t fucking terrorize random little girls…

Kaito blinked and jolted at the knock, genuinely surprised to hear anyone call through, let alone...Nadya? Oh, shit, right...he was supposed to have...he had actually forgotten what he had left the office in the first place for...shit…

Looking down at himself, he was...somewhat compromised at the moment. He had taken off his pants and shirt to not get blood on them, but honestly, maybe that had been pointless. He...he didn’t think he wanted to come out for a while anyway...also it’d be kinda hard to right now. He should...probably stitch himself up in a second actually. This was maybe...too much worship…

His head was a little foggy, but that was okay, as he called back, “Uh...yeah, I’m in here...sorry! Uh...I didn’t get water…”

Shuuichi, from the other side of the door, reached down to the knob of the door and turned it slightly. Locked. “Kaito, are you okay in there? Can I come in?”

Kaito blinked at the puddle beneath him. “...nah, buddy, that’s alright. I’m just...it’s a mess in here, man. Could you guys just go take care of Kokichi? I’ll be out...soon…”

He had been really, really angry when he had first come in. He had punched the walls for a while until his knuckles had ripped under the pressure, and, hands shaking, he had taken his knife and started praying to Atua and...well, blood-letting was calming, in its own way. Mostly in the ‘loss of blood’ kind of way. This was probably too much. He was more than calm now, he was...kinda dizzy. Yeah. Time to...stitch up…

...he’d do it in a second…

Shuuichi stared at the door. Kaito sounded tired and slow, and he had been wide awake when he left them. Historically, he’d be fine, he never went past the point of no return, but...he still lowered his cap, conflicted. Shuuichi could smell it even from out the door. That iron scent of blood… “Kaito, I can help if you’ll unlock the door. Let me in, I’ll pray with you.”

“...Wow that’s tempting...” a small chuckle, “Nah, that’s alright…I’m okay Shuuichi, it’s fine. Go back to Kokichi, I’ll be out soon. Nadya? Can you take Shuuichi back to the office?”

Nadya frowned a bit at the door, unphased by the stench of blood. ...she wondered what he was praying for. The health of his husband? She supposed that could be it, though offerings to Khalisi and Atua were usually directed at women. If Shuuichi wasn’t overly concerned, though...and Kaito was still alive at his age, she supposed she could make an educated guess that his faith in Atua wasn’t one of the more dangerous kinds. 

Still…

“We can go back. However, Mr. Momota? We would be happy to fetch any additional supplies for you, if you require them. We would leave them just outside the door to your shrine.”

Kaito glanced over to his supplies. He really did have most of everything he needed...and he really would be out soon...he laughed as he realized really what he was missing out of everything.

“Could you all get some water sent up? I appreciate ya...don’t worry, handsome. I’m fine. Sorry I worried you.” Kaito chuckled, shuffling up to finally go get his equipment, ready to stitch himself up. “I’ll be out soon.”

Shuuichi glared at the door, frustrated...before muttering, “Fine. He’s fine.” He said to Nadya rolling his eyes, “He’ll come out when he feels like it. Come on, let’s just go back to work. I’ll get water sent to him at lunch.” He grumbled, already moving to leave, frustrated with this whole thing. Honestly, Kaito could just be so frustrating sometimes…

Nadya followed Shuuichi on the way back to the office but...she cast another worried look at the door. “If he is experiencing blood loss, it would be prudent to get him water sooner rather than later. When we return, I will pour him a cup of the water you asked to be brought to our office and leave it for him. While I trust you would be just fine for the two minutes it would take me, I think we should rouse Mr. Ouma anyway, if he is not already awake, simply so he can drink some water himself.”

When they got back to the office, Kokichi was indeed still asleep and, not wanting to overstep her bounds, she quietly asked if Shuuichi would prefer to wake him, busying herself with collecting a spare mug from Kaito’s desk and filling it with water.

Shuuichi nodded, heading over to Kokichi and kneeling beside the couch, putting his hand against the side of Kokichi neck for a moment before gently grasping his shoulder. “Kokichi? Hey...you’ve been asleep for over an hour now. Let’s get some water, okay? Kokichi?”

Kokichi shivered slightly before he sleepily blinked his eyes open, his brain slow to put together the sounds he’d heard. “Shuu-chan…” Shuuichi was waking him up. Never an unpleasant thing--actually quite a pleasant thing indeed. And he...water. Right. Kaito was going to get drinks and he’d...fallen asleep. Whoops.

Sighing away his sleep, Kokichi pushed himself up, slowly stretching his neck out before looking around the office, catching Nadya waiting by the door with a mug. She gave him a soft smile and held a finger up, nodding at the door. Ah...okay. 

He gave her a slight wave before yawning and rubbing at his eyes. “M’okay… Sorry...didn’t mean to pass out on ya. Did Kai-chan have to use the bathroom or something?” He hadn’t missed his husband’s absence, though he wasn’t that concerned about it. Simply wishing he’d been awake so Nadya could take her break.

Shuuichi rolled his eyes a little. “Nope. He went to go ‘pray’,” he said, before getting up to go pour Kokichi a glass. Coming back with it, he sat beside Kokichi, passing him the mug as he said, “I guess something upset him in the five minutes it should have taken him to literally just walk downstairs. He went off sulking without telling any of us, so me and Nadya had to go look for him. Nadya’s going to go bring him some water now, though I personally think we should dry him out a little.” Shuuichi looked entirely unsympathetic. “He could have just told us where he was going...I was worried…”

...now that was a little concerning. Kokichi woke up a little more in his worry, lowering his mask as he sipped at the water, the cool liquid easing some of the remaining scratchy heat in his head. Taking the opportunity to snuggle against Shuuichi’s side, Kokichi hummed lowly. “...maybe we should be worried. You said before that...we were probably before Kai-chan...locks himself in his shrine for a while, right? He doesn’t really get along with a lot of people here so...maybe something happened and that was the tipping point.”

Tipping his head against Shuuichi’s shoulder, Kokichi drank more of his water, concerned and feeling out of his league. “...when he does that...will he eat meals that we bring? Should we bring over like...pillows and blankets? I know he said he got some pillows, but it might be nice having something extra to support his head. And it’s starting to get colder...I know he runs warm, but especially if he’s bloodletting, I don’t want him to be freezing at night. Or get sick. If he got sick and couldn’t get to the door...would it be too much to check on him for that?”

Kokichi rambled, airing his concerns for Kaito’s well-being, supportive of his need to decompress but...wanting him to be safe while he did. His fingers tapped anxiously on his mug, his brows drawn in. 

Shuuichi gave his boyfriend a fond look. It was really nice for him to think of all that, but.. “Kokichi, we can’t actually let him do that. He has mandatory therapy, remember? And Kaito can do this for literally weeks if we let him… I’m planning to ask Maki to drag him out of there when she gets back. Maybe give him till tomorrow morning.”

The detective sighed, before saying, “Sorry… I know I sound flippant. But what these spirals usually equal out to is Kaito just...feeling sorry for himself for a while. They’re tantrums, essentially. And, yes, it’s usually a good idea to just let him do it, since he’ll feel better by the time he’s ready to come out, but...I mean, he can’t just skip out on therapy, right? Can he?”

Kokichi pouted, frustrated. “...he can. This is a coping method with a record, right? And it is proven to help.”

“Every person is different. For most people, therapy can be very helpful. You get to talk out your feelings with someone who won’t judge and...sometimes they can help you pin down exactly what you’re feeling and why, sometimes they can recommend outlets for your feelings that will help you in the long run, sometimes they point out a name for what you’re feeling, helping you realize that you’re not different or alone, and, if you need it, get medical help.”

“However, with some people, therapy does nothing, is just a social call more than anything else, and with others? It can actually make things worse, though that’s usually because that particular therapist is bad for you.” Kokichi sighed. “Therapy doesn’t seem to be making Kai-chan worse, or hurting him, but if he needs to do this? He can. And if people fuss and whine about it, they can answer to me. Kai-chan can always complete the course with Dr. Ford after he sorts himself out. And maybe they’ll make more headway that way, who knows.”

Sagging a bit from his outburst of determination, Kokichi rested against Shuuichi’s arm for a quiet moment, tired out. “...can Shuu-chan come with me to the shrine? I...don’t think it’d be a good idea for me to go on my own.”

Shuuichi puzzled over this new bit of information. So...therapy was the number one form of punishment in Dicea but...people didn’t have to actually go?

Or, maybe this was a…’prince’ thing.

Either way, it surprised Shuuichi that not going was an option. Still...Kaito would probably be fine either way. He and Maki were old hats at this by now, and honestly, Shuuichi was just...kinda disappointed that it was happening again. Oh, sure, he had seen all the warning signs that this was coming up soon, but, well...it had looked like for a couple of years there that this wasn’t going to be an issue anymore. That Kaito had gotten past his ‘hiding in his religion’ phase.

Yet? Here they were again. 

Oh well...maybe he was being too hard on Kaito. Admittedly, part of this was probably just his own general bad mood lately. He hadn’t had a chance to have a private conversation with Seiko yet about the...problem inside of him, and every time he stopped to think about it, he felt himself start to get nervous. The edges of a panic attack just...thinking about it. He was finding it was a lot easier to just distract himself, and he had been looking forward to working today to do just that, but no. Now Kaito needs to go have a fucking tantrum. 

...whatever. Kaito hiding himself away would make it easier to do this without him ever finding out what had happened. Maybe it was for the best.

Nodding, Shuuichi got up from the couch, offering Kokichi his hand in case he was still dizzy. “Sure. You might not want to get too close to the door though. The seal isn’t quite, uh...scent-proof.”

Setting his now-empty mug aside, Kokichi fitted his mask back over his face, taking a breath before standing up, quietly pleased that he didn’t have a wave of vertigo falling over him. Maybe he wasn’t back to full-form yet, but he was getting better. Kokichi smiled, excited that Shuuichi was okay with holding hands, and slipped his hand into his boyfriend’s before grimacing a bit. “Hopefully the mask will take the edge off…”

He wasn’t quite up to running a marathon or anything, but Kokichi was feeling pretty steady as he and Shuuichi made their way out of the office, passing a slightly confused Nadya who was making her way back.

“Just making sure he’s okay,” Shuuichi explained to her, as they passed by.

Kaito waited until he heard Nadya’s footsteps leave before, quickly, opening the door and getting the mug before closing it again. He just didn’t want anyone to see him in this state, was all. Though, he was already half-way finished with his stitching! So that was something. 

Sipping at his mug, Kaito went back by the shrine, sitting next to it and, putting down his mug, he picked up the needle again, bringing it to his stomach. Bloodletting didn’t always come from his arms, and sometimes it was more convenient to do it somewhere else, like his shoulders or legs or, this time, his stomach. And his arms had just had...so many issues lately, that he was trying to be a little more gentle on them, was all.

As he started to stitch again, he said, “So, I don’t know...I’m trying to be mindful, you know? But, like...once I know what the emotion I’m feeling is, what do I do with it? That’s what I can’t quite get my head around, ya know? I’ve asked Dr. Ford twice, and I just...I don’t really understand his answers?”

Atua didn’t say anything. But Kaito thought to himself, well, if he was going to say something, it’d probably be, ‘Well, are you certain you’re actually paying attention to what he’s saying?’

“Yes! I mean, I think I am...I get distracted at therapy sometimes,” Kaito admitted, only wincing slightly as the needle caught on the rough edges of an older scar, taking a little more force to push through. “But, I don’t think I’m missing much? I’m really trying! And, I’m practicing reactions but...everything just makes me feel worse, ya know?”

‘Maybe it’s not meant to make you feel better, Kaito?’

“Yeah...maybe…”

“Kaito?”

It took Kaito half a second to make him realize that last word wasn’t in his head, and he looked up at the door, again surprised. “Shuuichi? Hey, buddy, Nadya brought me the water. Thanks! Again, I’m okay! I’m coming out soon, okay?”

“Sure you are,” Shuuichi muttered, looking over at Kokichi and shaking his head at that. Kaito always said that. It didn’t actually mean anything. He probably always did think he was going to be coming out soon, but he still never did. “I brought Kokichi...are you sure you don’t want to let me in?”

“‘Kichi? Uh…” Kaito looked down at the blood spread around his stomach and down his legs and backside, not to mention the blood on his hands from trying to tear at the walls, “...no...that’s okay. I’m just kinda a mess. ‘Kichi, you...probably shouldn’t be over here, babe.”

Kokichi sighed softly. “I want to be here, Kai-chan. Even just outside the door. I care about you, so I’m here.”

“...you don’t have to come out soon if you don’t want to, Kai-chan. If you think you need this time to yourself, you can take it. Therapy can wait. It doesn’t always work for everyone, and if you think you can get more out of prayer? Then that’s what you should do.”

Kokichi came closer to the door, placing a hand on it, though he didn’t move to take the handle, breathing through his mouth so he wouldn’t smell the shrine. “I want Kai-chan to be happy...and no one knows what’s better for that than you. But if you’re gonna stay here, can I get you bedding? It’s getting colder at night and I don’t want you to catch a cold or something…”

“...I love you…”

Kaito shrugged, though no one could see it. Therapy could wait? Huh...well, it didn’t matter, he was going to come out soon! Real soon! He just needed a minute, was all. He already felt calmer than when he had come in. He’d come out in a second.

...but…

“A blanket would be great, beautiful. I doubt I’m sleeping in here tonight, but it’d be nice still. Thanks, beautiful.” Kaito looked up at the door, feeling a sudden...intense twist of guilt in his gut. Felt a sudden intense feeling of...unease at the idea of walking out the door, but also feeling ashamed at the concern in his husband’s voice...which just made that...uneasy feeling worse…

(...he was so tired of this…)

And another wrack of guilt ran through him, and maybe he...would stay the night. Just the night! To get back to zero! Saying back to them, “I love you too, beautiful. It’s okay. I’m sorry. Everything’s okay, really.”

...Kokichi doubted that he was about to come out, and the look on Shuuichi’s face kind of confirmed that, but…

He put on a smile, even though Kaito couldn’t see him. “No problem, love. I just want to make sure you can keep warm alright in there. We’ll come by with lunch and dinner, alright? You don’t have to come out, but we’ll leave it by the door like Nadya-chan did with your water.”

Kokichi paused, his heart aching. But he didn’t let the smile drop. “...it’s okay if things aren’t okay, but I’ll believe you. I’ll be back with a blanket soon, okay?”

He turned back to Shuuichi, far enough away from the door that he could breathe through his nose again. There was something deeply worried and guilty in his gaze but… “There should be spare blankets in the supply closet; it’s nearby. Thank you for walking with me, Shuu-chan.”

Honestly feeling worse for Kokichi than Kaito right now, Shuuichi sighed and pulled his boyfriend into a small hug. “Hey, seriously, he’s fine...Kaito’s just been...I honestly don’t know. He’s been temperamental lately. He probably needs this. Watch, he’ll be back to his old self soon. Let’s go grab those blankets.”

As he heard them leave, Kaito took a small, steadying breath...before saying aloud, “See? Shit like that. God, I’m just...how do I stop doing this? Everything I do makes everything worse.”

‘Maybe you’re taking the housekeeper’s words too personally.’

“She’s not wrong though! She was a...a fucking bitch about it, but...it’s not like she said anything I haven’t been worrying to myself about…”

The version of Atua Kaito kept in his head didn't have anything to say to that. He had been worried about that for a while. Basically since...since raping Kokichi.

...god he raped his husband...why did he do that…

And now he was making him worry. Because Kokichi didn’t have enough to worry about, right!? God, what a shitty husband he was...he just hadn’t wanted to find himself hurting anyone. He had been scaring Waku. The little gremlin was terrified of him. 

‘You did come at her with a sword your first night in the castle.’

Kaito sighed and rested his head against the table. Reaching up to grab the book. Maybe there was some passage in there that would help him…

-

Seiko nervously adjusted the various items in her office, more for just something to do while she waited for Shuuichi to come down. There weren’t any tools she needed, so she wasn’t sterilizing them like she normally would be before an appointment, though she had put together some references for her patient. A doctor she trusted to perform a termination with Shuuichi’s unique circumstances, an obstetrician she had referred patients to before. Though...she wanted to work with both healers, just to make sure they could discuss Shuuichi’s circumstances and come up with a plan that would give him the best care. She wished she could refer him to a healer that specialized in people affected by the despair spores but...she supposed she was that healer, in everywhere but Danganronpa, at least. 

What did she get herself into…

But if the spores were going to show up in Dicea at all, she preferred to be someone working on its research. 

Looking nervously at the clock, she waited for her patient to arrive.

“You don’t have to stay. I don’t know how long this’ll take...I can ask her to bring me back when we’re done.”

Maki shook her head, leaning against the wall in the door outside of the medbay. “Why? I don’t have anywhere else to be. Since Kaito’s going to go ahead and check out on us,” Maki said, looking just as exasperated as Shuuichi had felt the day before, “I asked Lake to give me a few days to set up a new routine for you and Timothy. I’ll end up just going with her later in the morning the day after tomorrow, but...figured it was better to give myself two days open, in case there was anything I’d miss.”

Leaning her head back into the wall, she said, “All that to say, I have nowhere else to be. I’ll be waiting right here for you. Take your time.”

Shuuichi looked warily at her...he wished she’d just go...he was going to make another bid to Seiko to keep the secret, and he had a feeling it’d be easier without Maki just a literal minute away. He really didn’t want anyone to know…

But if he fought her any harder on this, Maki would assume something was wrong. That Shuuichi was hiding something...and she’d be right. And that would be a whole thing, so...Shuuichi just muttered a ‘fine’ before heading into the med wing. 

Walking in, he looked around at the other healers, giving small, polite nods as he was greeted, before someone told him Dr. Kimura was in her office waiting for him. Shuuichi headed to her office, feeling...nervous. Really nervous…

Knocking on her door, he announced himself before opening the door. “Dr. Kimura? It’s me. I’m coming in.”

Somehow Seiko avoided fumbling the papers on her desk (Shuuichi’s medical file and the referrals she’d made for him) as she turned, giving Shuuichi a tired, gentle smile. “Hello, Shuuichi. Please, have a seat.”

Taking her own seat, she clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m sorry...about the last time we met. I still believe that you deserved to know with as much time as possible, but...I think I could’ve handled the situation with m-more tact. I am dedicated to your health and well-being, Shuuichi.”

“...even if I haven’t always acted on that principle.” She sighed, glancing down in shame. “...I succumbed to my own cowardice, and you suffered for it. I cannot take back the harm that has been done...but I aim to prevent as much as I can in the future. And...I suppose another part of that starts now.”

“...have you made a decision? Whichever you choose, I will answer any questions you have, and while I may warn you of the effects, it’s not meant t-to dissuade you from your choice. I simply want you to be as informed as you can be.”

Hmm? Why was she bringing up...oh, right. He had yelled at her. He had...actually kinda forgotten about that. 

He had just been angry. They had already had this conversation...sorta. At the carnival. And...he still felt roughly the same way now as he did then. He knew he was better off for her help.

...but he didn’t really feel like saying that again right now. He didn’t really want to talk about all of that at all. It had...it had been just one...really shitty week. It d-didn’t have to...define him or...or…

Shuuichi felt the version of Nao he kept in his head chuckle at that idea, and closed his eyes. This wasn’t about her. She had left him. He was dealing with this himself now! He...he didn’t need a master…

He didn’t even really believe that thought as he had it, and that depressed the shit out of him, so he tried to just focus on what Seiko was saying. Effects. Right. He...he had to ask about that. Maybe she’d bring it up herself, actually, his main concern. 

He waited politely for her to stop talking, and when he realized she was done, he waited another beat. Just trying to give himself the courage to speak, staring just shy of her collarbone, nowhere even close to comfortable enough to look her in the eye as he lowered the brim of his hat.

“...I don’t want it,” he said quietly. “I want to terminate.”

“Okay,” Seiko replied.

Pushing the referral to the appropriate healer towards him, she continued with what she’d said she would. “I do not feel comfortable performing the procedure myself, as my doctorate is in pharmaceuticals, so I have made a referral for a healer who I trust to give you the best care. And...discretion.” She gave him a sympathetic look. 

“Now… We don’t know how the spores are going to change things, but as for traditional terminations… You’ll likely experience postpartum depression, especially since you’re starting withdrawal symptoms as well. Some people have described that they feel like they’ve made a mistake after the procedure--it’s normal, and not always because you actually regret it. Pregnancy...in simpler terms, it really fucks with your hormones. Once the embryo is removed, your hormones go nuts, which results in the depression, regret, and occasionally increased emotional sensitivity.” 

With a sigh, Seiko gave Shuuichi a dry, sympathetic look. “Which makes little sense, I know, since those can be symptoms of pregnancy too.”

“And as for how your situation might differ? W-well...we don’t know for sure, but...I think I may have some theories…” Seiko trailed off for a moment before drawing herself up. “The fungus in you seemed to provoke mammalian reproduction as a means to, well, reproduce. So...both mammals and plants that rely on heats or pollination only go through it once a year. So...you may be in the clear, and by this time next year, I hope… No. I have confidence that I’ll improve the antifungal medicine to the point where it can reliably rid a system of spores. No spores, no fungus, no heat.”

Sure of herself, Seiko seemed to...deflate from there as she considered her other theory. “Ho-however...if the fungus acts like...well, a fungus? Then...once your system realizes that you are no longer pregnant you...er...may start needing to be pollinated again… And...you’ve been taking my medicine for weeks. I’m sorry but...I still haven’t figured out a way to rid your system of the spores in an effective manner.”

Frustration crossed over Seiko’s face as she glared down at the desk. “I feel like I’m making so much progress! But with the realization of your pregnancy, I realized I may have been treating symptoms that had nothing to do with the fungus, so I need to roll it back...figure out where the right split is...check in on my other patients, see if the changes I made for you work for them…” She sighed, a world of fatigue in her eyes as she looked back up at Shuuichi. “...I’m sorry...I need more time…”

Shuuichi started to feel a spark of hope in the beginning. Once a year? He could...he could handle once a year. It would still be terrifying to feel it start up again, but...knowing there was a time limit? He could...he could manage that…

...and then that hope started to fall into gnawing terror…

If the fungus acts like a fungus!?

If the thing that we’ve established the spores are functions the same way all the other things the spores are like does!? 

Shuuichi’s eyes widened and started to burn, and he wrapped shaking arms around himself. “Do...d-do you think you’ll h-have the answer soon? I...y-you don’t understand. The heat’s all you can think about...nothing else matters when it happens...I can’t…”

Shuuichi looked up at her, terror lining his face. “How much time? A-a...a week or...two weeks?”

Seiko clenched her jaw just...furious. At the spores? At herself? She wasn’t sure, but...it wasn’t fair. Any medical condition wasn’t, but...in particular, this man before her… He had made one mistake and...now it was going to affect him the rest of his life. Even if she found a cure...his time with Nao wouldn’t just disappear. The changes to his body could be mitigated, could be changed with lifestyle changes or surgery. The memories of everything that happened…

Closing her eyes, anger wrinkling her forehead, Seiko gently shook her head. “...normally I have months, if not years to develop medicines. With the urgency of this one, I have made great strides, and we don’t have to wait for testing since...well, you are the test, along with the others who drank that beer… But so far, I’ve only prevented more spores from growing. Not getting rid of the ones that are there, and weren’t expelled by the body naturally. I’m...I’m working as quickly as I can but...it will still likely be months before I can develop the medicine to a point where I can confidently say that...you won’t experience pollination anymore…”

Shuuichi felt his whole body start to shake, staring at her in horror. 

Months...months…

...he had barely lasted a week...he..he was certain now, looking back at it all, that he hadn’t actually started ‘pollinating’ until roughly when Nao had found him...he had barely lasted a week last time...he had taken on a master before he had been willing to fight the heat on his own, and Kaito and Kokichi...if they hadn’t finally done it…

C-could he...he knew what it was now, could he...take care of it on his own or…

“Oh, no, oh, Atua please…” Shuuichi stood up, just needing to stand, and quickly found himself pacing in front of her desk, just...feeling the need to go and having nowhere to go...Nao didn’t want him. And Kaito and Kokichi...he didn’t want them to see him like that...not again, a-and “I can’t, I can’t, Seiko, I can’t I’d rather die, I can’t.”

Shuuichi stopped, putting his hands over his face and stopping, breathing quickly. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t...I-I’ve ruined my life...I can’t...I’ll...ha!” Shuuichi laughed and dropped his hands, looking at Seiko with a sort of morbid hysteria. “...I’ll be pregnant again in a week. I...I won’t be able to help myself...you don’t understand, it’s like there’s nothing else when it’s happening. It’s all you can think about, every second you're awake. You wake up thinking about it a-and you try to be a person but you can’t. The only thing that gets you through the day is knowing she’s coming, she’ll come back soon, she promised, she’ll come back soon…”

Shuuichi stopped pacing for a moment, and his whole body shuddered as his voice fought back against a sob...tears starting to roll down his cheeks as he realized, feeling… “I...I can’t go back to that, D-Dr. Kimura...I can’t...oh what a stupid, selfish reason to have a kid…” Shuuichi laughed hysterically again, his eyes widening with panic as he said, “S-sorry baby! N-not only did daddy not w-want you, but he only h-had you cause d-daddy’s a needy w-whore! Ha!”

Seiko quickly stood, recognizing that Shuuichi was losing it and, for a moment she dithered, not wanting to make it worse but...there was no upside to this situation. Children...were supposed to be a blessing. Only people who were planning and ready to have and raise a child going through with a pregnancy. Not...someone who only wanted the process of pregnancy to buy time so they didn’t lose their mind…

Gritting her teeth, Seiko grasped Shuuichi’s shoulders, gentle yet firm, as she looked him dead in the eye. “Shuuichi you are not a whore! And you are not selfish to prioritize your health!”

Taking a breath as she calmed her voice, Seiko loosened her grip on Shuuichi, allowing him to push her away if he wanted. “...regardless of the reason that child will come into the world, whether you want it or not, it will have a good life. That child will be born of gratitude.”

“...it’ll be okay, Shuuichi. I refuse to let you down.”

Shuuichi just looked miserable at her, not pushing her away, but taking a step back, dislodging himself from her. He just...didn’t want to be touched right now. No one could touch him...he’s ruined everything...he’ll never feel normal again, he was certain of it now. This awful, awful feeling of being...somehow a visitor in his own body? His body wasn’t his anymore...he didn’t even recognize himself when he caught glimpses of himself in the mirror. There was always that brief moment of confusion...and now...now it was about to get so much worse…

And fuck, that was just the surface level problems! That was easily the least of it! Was he just...waiting to have a kid in nine??? months and just???? will the heat be back like it never left? Is that what Shuuichi’s life was now? Waiting to give birth and then waiting to be fucked and then waiting to give birth and waiting to be fucked a-and…

Shuuichi forced himself to sit back down, just giving a few more heartbroken sobs. He didn’t even really care about the kid. Not yet. It didn’t feel real...th-though...one concern very much did, and that was…

“Oh, please Atua, if you ever loved Kaito...please don’t let it be a Momota...please Atua…” Shuuichi prayed, closing his eyes and curling himself around his stomach. “Please, please, let it be an Ouma, please...o-or just don’t let it show...please, please please...”

As Shuuichi prayed sincerely for the first time in his life, just, terrified and feeling helpless to do anything else, something...well, it did listen. Of course it listened. All of this was important. It had worked very, very hard for this exact moment…

But it’s heart still broke for the despair its meddling had caused. Stuff like this was why it didn’t like to interfere...it never turned out well for the people they interfered with. But...it needed to happen. So much was on the line.

Still. Breaking its own rules for a second, the thing reached out, and ran a hand over Shuuichi’s mind...and Shuuichi took a breath. Suddenly feeling...at least a little calmer, as he opened his eyes and stared miserably at Kimura. 

“...sorry,” he muttered, feeling ashamed and embarrassed at his meltdown. “...sorry. I...I guess I’m...m-maybe I don’t have to tell anyone? M-maybe I can keep it a secret somehow? I could…I could wear big shirts…” Shuuichi sounded desperate as he said it, knowing that wasn’t an actual solution but just so scared…

Seiko took no joy in what she needed to say. She wished she could keep it a secret. For some of her past patients, other than referring them to an OBGYN, she never told a soul. But...this situation was different. Shuuichi was still going through rehab. His friends had taken responsibility for his health. If nothing else, in a few months they’d figure it out anyway. There was only so far Shuuichi could explain away as weight gain. And...diet changes. And...well, a lot of other things could be explained through his withdrawals but...they’d figure it out. 

Sighing, she sadly shook her head. “I told you, Shuuichi. Once you made your decision, I’m going to tell your friends. They are responsible for your health. And you’re going to need their support too. You’re not in this alone, and I won’t allow them to let you either.”

Looking back at the desk, she laced her fingers. “...shall we talk about the effects of going through with a pregnancy? I have a referral for an obstetrician too…”

Shuuichi sighed, running his hand over his face. “...yeah, I guess...I guess so, yeah...we don’t even know if pregnancy will be the...the same for me though…”

Sitting back down, Seiko nodded to Shuuichi’s seat. “That’s true...but I think it would help to go through the traditional effects of pregnancy, just so if they do happen, it’s one last thing to be caught off guard by.”

Taking out a book she’d stored in her desk, Seiko opened the parenting book to the section actually going into pregnancy. And starting from week one, Seiko explained everything Shuuichi could expect, from additional weight gain (much to Shuuichi’s dismay) to hip pains (which she suggested the others gently squeeze his hips and sacrum to ease the pain) to foods he should avoid and another plead on Seiko’s end for him to continue his walks.

It ended up being a rather long appointment, and by the end, she pushed the book his way. “I...actually bought this for you, just in case you chose to go through with the pregnancy. I’ll do my best to answer any questions you have, and I hope you’ll contact this OB too. Like with our check ins for your rehab, if you notice anything odd, please let me or your OB know. If you started when you started to feel better, then...you should be around three weeks.”

Standing, Seiko glanced to the door. “...I need to make sure you actually do, but would you rather tell your friends, or shall I?”

Shuuichi took the book from her, staring at the big ‘PARENTING’ title on it…’what to expect when you’re expecting’ in playful letters at the bottom...he put it on his lap and felt so...fucking stupid...three weeks. He had been pregnant for three weeks…

“...I don’t know,” Shuuichi admitted, hiding under his cover. “I...it’d be cowardly to just say you do it...and Maki will wanna talk to me as soon as she finds out anyway...I...Kaito’s hiding in a closet right now...it’s a thing.” Shuuichi wrung his hands. “Maybe we should just...tell Kokichi and Maki at the same time…”

Seiko raised an eyebrow at...Kaito hiding in a closet? But she gave a nod to Shuuichi’s wishes. “Alright...by that, I’ll assume Maki walked you here? Is...Kokichi in his office or…?”

Shuuichi started to desperately try to wipe the tear stains from his eyes as he suddenly just snickered. “Poor Nadya...yeah...he is…”

Outside, Maki was still waiting, and while she wasn’t worried about staying still for long periods of time, she was still just...a little concerned for how long this was taking. His checkups usually didn’t take this long...maybe she should go in and check on him…

No, no, give him his privacy. The healers weren’t going to, like...let him leave out a window or something. He was just doing his checkup. He was fine. 

Leaving the medical wing, it was easy to find where Maki had perched herself, and Seiko gave the woman a nod in greeting. “Hello, Maki. I’d like to give you and Kokichi an update about Shuuichi’s health and...well, it’s easier to do it all at once. Would you mind coming with us to Kokichi’s office?”

They made their way up to the third floor in relative silence and, once they made their way to the office, Nadya good-naturedly announced she was going to take a break. With Maki looking suspicious and Kokichi worried but curious, Seiko gave Shuuichi a look, wondering if he wanted to be the one to say it.

Shuuichi looked at his hands, just...wondering...what he should say. 

“...I…” Shuuichi glanced up, first looking at Kokichi, then Maki...saw the tension on her face and started quickly, “First or all, I’m not dying or anything. I’m...okay…”

Maki took a breath, her shoulders relaxing slightly, though now she looked even more suspicious. She kept glancing over at Seiko, her hands tensing, wondering if maybe it was finally going to be time to put the doctor down, depending on what Shuuichi said next. If she had done something to handicap him or something...if she had made some sort of mistake…

Shuuichi started to play and pull at his shirt, not able to look at either of them now as he said, “S-second of all I...K-Kokichi I...I’d u-understand…” Shuuichi’s eyes started to wet, his stomach churning miserably, feeling sick as he said, “I’d understand if y-you don’t want to d-deal with this...this isn’t you f-fault...i-it’s no one but my fault...I d-did this to myself...i-it’s my f-fault, a-and I...I can deal with it on my own, okay? I...I-I’d understand…”

Maki’s eyes narrowed, now suddenly glancing at Kokichi. WHAT wasn’t his fault...and was it? Great, was she going to end up furious with Kokcihi? She was just talking to Lake about how much she liked him...fuck, if Kokichi did something to Shuuichi… “Shuuichi, if you don’t tell us what’s happening, I’m going to end up stabbing everyone in here,” Maki confessed, feeling her paranoia grow the more uncomfortable and overwhelmed Shuuichi looked. “So, if you could just speak plainly?”

“...sorry, Maki…”

Shuuichi played with his shirt some more, lowering his head...before mumbling something incoherent.

The worried look only grew on Kokichi’s face as Shuuichi spoke, this feeling...so much like one of Shuuichi’s breakdowns. Where he expected that Kokichi didn’t love him, that he wasn’t worthy of love, where he spoke of all the...awful things Nao did that he believed…

His lips pressing together, Kokichi stepped forward, cupping one of Shuuichi’s hands with his own, rubbing the sides gently. “Hey… Shuu-chan, I was serious when I said I loved you. Whatever it is...I’m standing with you, okay?”

It was...touching to see, but Seiko sighed and...well, if Shuuichi couldn’t bring himself to say it… “Shuuichi is three weeks pregnant.”

The color drained from Kokichi’s face as his eyes widened into plates, his mouth agape as he looked at the doctor in shock.

Shuuichi’s whole body flinched as she just...said it. He glanced up at Maki, seeing the shock on her face, and then looked over at Kokichi… “It’s okay, it’s okay!” he said, eyes wide, suddenly terrified, grasping at Kokichi’s hands as he promised, “It’s not your responsibility, I promise, I-I don’t...you don’t have to be involved at all, I know that you...this is my thing! I d-don’t need anything from you, I, th-this doesn’t have to have a-anything to do with y-”

Maki suddenly stood up. Eyes thunderous.

“I’m gonna kill him,” she said, blade in her hand.

Heading for the door.

“Maki, Maki no!” Shuuichi shouted, realizing immediately what she meant and bolting towards her, spinning around her and grabbing at her shoulders. “It’s not his fault either! I did this, it’s my-”

“THAT IDIOT GOT YOU PREGNANT!?” Maki shouted, glowering at Shuuichi, gripping the blade in her hand as her knuckles went white. “IT NEVER EVEN OCCURRED TO ME TO ASK IF HE WAS WEARING PROTECTION. OF COURSE HE’D WEAR PROTECTION! HE’S BEEN WEARING PROTECTION SINCE HE WAS FIFTEEN!! SEIKO TOLD US AT THE MEETING THAT YOU GREW A WOMB! WHY WOULDN’T HE WEAR PROTECTION NOW OF ALL TIMES!?”

Shuuichi...was… With? His? Or…

Kokichi barely heard Maki and Shuuichi, the blood rushing in his ears just...so loud. Was...that why Shuuichi had asked him what would happen if he or Kaito had been women and had gotten pregnant? ...obviously. And...if they were talking like this then...Shuuichi had chosen to have it?

...a child…

There was a dull thump as Kokichi fell on his ass, a dazed murmur of, “...I’m a dad…?”

Shuuichi looked nervously over Maki’s shoulder, seeing Kokichi sorta collapse and not knowing what to do now, go check on Kokichi or save Kaito’s life...thankfully Maki made the decision for him, looking back at him and, though she just tsked, still looked incredibly pissed, she went back to Kokichi, picking him up real quick and putting him down on the couch, looking over at Seiko suddenly and saying, “Make certain he’s not about to have a heart attack....now!?” She hissed when Seiko didn’t move fast enough for her.

“And you-” Maki said, turning to Shuuichi, every muscle in her body tense, murder radiating off her in a way that it hadn’t since they had gotten back from the beach. “You’re pregnant. Stop trying to save other people and sit down right now.”

Shuuichi nodded, quickly going to the couch to sit next to Kokichi, though on the other end of the couch, nowhere close to touching him. He watched Maki stare at the office door, clearly fiercely debating with herself...before muttering, “Fine. I won’t kill him...but he better be ready to step up...I’ll fuckng kill him if he fucks this up…”

Shuuichi took a breath, relieved as Maki’s energy went from ‘immediate murder’ to ‘theoretical future murder’. That was usually okay. Kaito was probably going to be fine...but Kokichi…

Shuuichi glanced nervously to his right, staring at his baffled boyfriend for as long as he could before staring at the floor in shame…

Seiko hurried to Kokichi’s side, Maki’s rage not needed, and...no heart attack incoming. He was just...shocked. Processing. Probably not...the best reaction, but...well, this wasn’t exactly a happy situation. She didn’t blame him. 

It took a good few moments for some color to return to Kokichi’s face, for him to blink and...somewhat shake himself out of his stupor. Looking up, looking to Shuuichi, then Seiko, one of his hands coming up to clutch at his shirt over the heart. “Is it…? Seiko… are...is...are my health problems genetic? It’s… not something that would hurt Shuu-chan, right?”

He still looked...more than a little out of it, but Kokichi turned back to Shuuichi, scooting over on the couch, not to Shuuichi’s side, but taking one of his hands again. “Shuu-chan...I’m so sorry… But I’m not going anywhere. You’re my precious Shuu-chan, and I love you. I’ll take responsibility.”

“...even if it’s not mine.”

A little more of reality came back to Kokichi, remembering that conversation he and Shuuichi’d had. Expression still shocked, but set in fierce determination, Kokichi gently squeezed Shuuichi’s hand. “...I won’t let anything happen to you. I...I’m not ready to be a dad...but I’m going to try. And even if it’s Kai-chan’s...I’ll protect you.”

Looking off to the side, Seiko mumbled, “Well...it might even be both of yours…”

And that sent Kokichi back into a stupor, though he didn’t let go of Shuuichi’s hand.

Maki blinked, looking at Kokichi now...she wasn’t sure why her first thought had been that it could only be Kaito’s. It just...hadn’t occurred to her that...well…

Like a certain monochromed Flora had said over a month ago: Kokichi had ‘Strong Bottom Vibes’.

...really?

Staring at Kokichi, Maki took a deep breath...and then went over to him, ignoring both Seiko and Shuuichi as she knelt down in front of him, staring him hard in the eyes. “...I’m very glad you just said that, so I don’t have to threaten you...and Seiko? I’m stopping by the pharmacy to buy condoms. I’m going to go get bananas from the fucking dining hall and you are both getting a long talk about the birds and the bees.”

Shuuichi sighed. “Maki, please calm down...again, it’s not their fault. Even if any of us had been thinking about that sort of thing, I would have...I was desperate to be...ya know… Look, they could have offered every protection in the world, and I would have eventually worked out a way to get past all of it. I...my body was desperate for me to get pregnant,” Shuuichi said, clutching Kokichi’s hand, but still unable to really look at any of them. “I didn’t realize that I had gotten what I wanted that day. I thought I felt better because of the medicine, but...that’s not the case…”

Maki glared at Kokichi for another second...before looking over in concern at Shuuichi, sitting on her ankles as she said, “...you know you don’t have to keep it, right? Dr. Kimura, you’ve discussed his options with him?”

Shuuichi nodded. “She did, and...I actually wasn’t going to...but…”

Shuuichi swallowed. Feeling ashamed still that the only reason he was doing this was because he was afraid of dealing with his heat again…

Seiko stepped in there. “That’s why the appointment was so long. Shuuichi and I talked in-depth about his options and the effects with it all and...he decided to continue with the pregnancy. As his healer, looking out for the long-term health of my patient, I can agree with him that, for Shuuichi’s well-being, this is the best path.”

His fingers curling under Shuuichi’s hand, Kokichi blinked over at Maki, still clearly a little...out of sorts, but he pouted at her. “...I’m a little insulted you’d think you’d have to threaten me into taking responsibility.”

The color in his cheeks growing deeper, Kokichi looked down at the couch. “...I am sorry though...even if you would’ve tried… When Kai-chan saw what you were doing in the bathroom and… Like...Maki-chan’s plan…”

He shook his head a little, his face heating up even more. “...I mean...you guys know Kai-chan is...my first. And he never… I mean… We didn’t use anything our first time so… It never…”

Kokichi continued to murmur unfinished sentences before he covered his flaming face with his free hand, far too flustered talking about his sex life like this. And, sure, Shuuichi was part of his sex life, and he’d confessed a lot to Maki, and Seiko was a doctor, so she’d probably heard far more from countless people but...it still embarrassed him.

Maki rolled her eyes, standing up. “You two get condoms and bananas and a very uncomfortable twenty minutes of my time. Kaito’s gonna get a swift kick to the dick the second he comes out of that shrine. Honestly, I can’t leave any of you alone for a second-”

As Maki wandered around the office, basically pacing and muttering to herself, Shuuichi’s face also burned slightly at all this. It had been his first time anyone...Nao had never...it’s not like he didn’t know better, he wasn’t naive, he understood what personal protection was, but…

Well, it hadn’t exactly been on his mind, at the time.

And...and he had been...was maybe even still a little in denial...it all didn’t feel real. “I mean...it still could just be stomach cancer?” Shuuichi muttered, something weirdly like hope in the idea. “Maybe I have stomach cancer and Seiko’s medicine actually does cure heat? It’s...it’s possible…”

Maki narrowed her eyes at Shuuichi, saying tensely, “Shuuichi, don’t make jokes like that...is that actually possible, Seiko?” She turned to the doctor, not entirely certain if that was just dark humor or what?

Kokichi curled even more into himself, just steaming in his embarrassment. Sure, being gay wasn’t a free pass into not having to worry about pregnancy...but being a gay virgin who had barely even been able to flirt with anyone kind of...pushed that information very far from his mind.

Seiko winced a little. “It is possible but...very unlikely. Pregnancy tests measure the...it’s basically a sign of cells dividing or changing. So...when you see elevated levels, it’s either pregnancy, which, if the subject is capable of it and has had penetrative sex within the last few months, is very likely...or stomach cancer. I’ll...be able to confirm it in...likely three weeks.”

If Shuuichi’s pregnancy was going to act like traditional ones. But...it was what they had to work with, so for fear of provoking Maki’s rage further, she didn’t feel the need to clarify that.

“I’m...really sorry…”

Maki twitched, glaring back at Shuuichi now...before calming her features. “Stop. Don’t be sorry. This…” Maki sighed, starting to pull at her pigtails, but-- “...this is going to be okay. Didn’t you hear Kokichi, Shuuichi? He’s not going to abandon you. Kaito’s not going to abandon you...that idiot’s actually probably going to be thrilled…” Or, at least, that was how Maki was certain he would have reacted a month ago. But, in the middle of hiding in his shrine? Hmmmm…

“And I’m not going to…” Maki suddenly hesitated. The plan on her wall looming over her, casting a long shadow from her room. The thing that had made every promise she’s given since she got here a little...insincere. A little hollow. But, like all those other promises, Maki just banished the thought and pushed forward, ready to be who she needed to be in the moment (even if who she needed to be was ultimately a liar), as she said, “I’m not going to abandon you either. This is...this is the best possible place for something like this to happen. We can protect you in the castle. We can raise this thing in Dicea, as a Dicean…”

Maki walked over to Shuuichi, kneeling down in front of him, taking his other hand, saying gently, “I get how scary suddenly...just suddenly being a parent is, okay? Trust me, I do. But you’re not in this alone. Not any step of this. No one here is going to leave you to your fate…” Maki suddenly gripped Shuuichi’s hand too tight, a flash of fury in her features as she said, “I will guarantee it.”

Shuuichi stared at Maki..then looked over at Kokichi...and his face suddenly tensed. Eyes wide and wet as he said, “...I-I’m scared...I’m sorry. I know what you both are saying. I...thank you...but I’m scared…”

Kokichi scooted a little closer to Shuuichi, feeling a little better that Shuuichi wouldn’t push him away. And, picking up the hand in his, Kokichi gave it a gentle kiss. “...it’s okay to be scared. It wouldn’t be fair for anyone to expect you to be composed or brave or...I don’t know. But Shuu-chan is here, and we’re here. We’re all here for Shuu-chan, and...I know you guys don’t believe it, but...you’re Diceans. All of Dicea is here for you too. They’ll protect you too. But...I’ll protect you with everything I have, and you can count on that. With every worry and every scary thing, we’ll make it through. I promise.”

“We’ve made it this far, right?” Kokichi looked up at Shuuichi with a small smile, glancing over to Maki and Seiko before focusing back in on his boyfriend. “We’ve survived all of our worst days…”

Sighing a little, Kokichi sat back on his legs. “...and if you need time to be scared and angry and...anything else? Shuu-chan has that time too.”

That was what Kaito was doing right now, after all. What he had given Kokichi, with a promise to be by his side through it to boot. Kokichi wished he could do the same for his lovers but...Luminous grief wasn’t compatible with his constitution. 

Shuuichi nodded, but was otherwise quiet, not really crying but...some loose tears fell from his eyes as he blinked, just feeling exhausted with all of this now. What a mess...what a mess…

“...when should I tell Kaito?” he asked, finding himself looking to Maki for that answer, who just shrugged. 

“Whenever you’re ready. Maybe it’ll get him to come out of his shrine. Or, maybe you should wait till he comes out himself...I have two questions though. Dr. Kimura?” Maki glanced over at the doctor, though mostly kept her eyes on Shuuichi. “Kokichi asked an important question earlier....is Shuuichi’s baby looking at the same health problems he has? Do we need to be prepared for that? And, Kokichi? Shuuichi?”

Maki sighed, letting go of Shuuichi’s hand and tugging at her hair again. “...I know we’re early into it. We can hide it for a while...but not forever. And we don’t want to leave it to the whims of rumors...we need to make a plan of how we’re telling people…”

Shuuichi groaned, before suddenly laughing, the change in volume making him hiccup as he put his head in his hands, taking his hand back from Kokichi, and said, “Nao’s gonna have a field day...she’s going to be so smug...of course I would do this to myself without her…”

Seiko had noted the question but...she let the other issues take the wheel first, her mind running over everything she knew from Kokichi’s medical history. Slowly, she started to speak, her eyes narrowed in thought. “...I...don’t believe so. Aiichi doesn’t have any information about his side, but he has never had any noteworthy medical conditions, and on Miyako’s side...well, her family was susceptible to anxiety, but considering...I don’t think we needed to know that to look out for it.” She gave the boys a knowing, tired look. 

“The prevailing theory, Kokichi, was that your lung and heart conditions were a result of the trauma done to your mother’s body. An environmental source, rather than a genetic one. I’d say it’s worth keeping an eye out for but...I believe it’s unlikely that Shuuichi’s child would have similar problems.”

Kokichi let out a little sigh of relief. They weren’t totally in the clear but...it would break his heart, seeing a child go through what he had. It would...complicate other things, but...Kokichi was...kind of hoping that the baby would have Kaito’s constitution, at least physically. Just...being healthy. 

However he grimaced at the subject of telling people. “God...part of me doesn’t want to tell Aiichi. Ever. But...to avoid the worst rumors, we probably need his help.” Sighing through his nose, Kokichi ran a hand through his hair before giving Shuuichi a hesitantly sympathetic look. “...would...you be alright with letting people know that you, me, and Kai-chan are together? I hate putting this kind of pressure on you, but...if there are rumors that Kai-chan or I cheated...and people let their imaginations run that we might get a divorce…”

He didn’t say it out loud, but the heavy weight of implication thickened the air. 

Maki noted the environmental factor, and immediately found herself thinking about everything she would need to do to make sure Shuuichi was never stressed out ever-

As Maki fiercely started worrying about how to make certain Shuuichi wouldn’t have anything to worry about, Shuuichi’s stress levels spiked at Kokichi’s question...before wrapping his arm around his stomach, feeling sick. He...he had kind of only been thinking about Nao’s reaction, but, yeah...there were bigger things going on then her...Shuuichi was a risk to, literally, literally, the peace of two kingdoms...ugh… “We can...we can tell people,” Shuuichi conceded, gripping his jacket between his fingers. Incredibly nervous at the idea as he said, “I don’t...people in Luminary aren’t going to be...happy about this-”

“Screw them. It doesn’t matter,” Maki interrupted. Though, she paused for a moment, before saying, “I’m reading your letters before you from now on.”

“...yeah. Okay, Maki. But, yeah...we need to be responsible about this...you and Kaito’s marriage is important to a lot of people...now some random...I don’t know. Whatever I am in this relationship…” Shuuichi frowned, struggling to think of an adequate title that didn’t make him feel...weird. “...concubine?”

“No,” Maki vetoed, looking annoyed. “That’s not the angle we’re going with. Look, let the politicians worry about the title. All I care about is that no one harasses you over it. And...is there anyone more capable than King Aiichi when it comes to damage control over rumors? His track record isn’t...stellar, in that regard,” Maki pointed out, glancing at Kokichi. “What about that secretary that’s always around him? The older guy. Hideki? Can he be trusted to spin this in a way where no ones coming after Shuuichi with pitchforks?”

Kokichi mumbled a quiet apology, hating that he had to put Shuuichi on the spot like this. If they had been anyone else it wouldn’t matter...but they were who they were, so...it mattered a lot. It wasn’t like the treaty would be nullified if his and Kaito’s marriage got shaky, or even if they got a divorce...but...it would put a lot of strain on things. Would...ruin relations between the countries…

...not that Byakuya seemed to give a damn about the treaty in the first place…

Twirling the uneven ends of his hair, Kokichi scowled at the title Shuuichi gave himself. “You’re our boyfriend. Nothing about that changes. Except...that you’re...the father to a child that might be mine? Or Kai-chan’s? Or...both?”

He glanced to Seiko, taking in her tired shrug with just continued confusion. 

“...Hideki hates lying...but...I think Mikaku could come up with a plan to keep Shuu-chan safe.” Kokichi chewed on his lower lip, his mind whirring. “If...he can figure out a way to explain this, then let my father spread it out to the country so no one gets any dangerous ideas? That...may work…”

Kokichi started to straighten, feeling...better with that idea in mind. But while it was probably a good idea to give their strategist as much time as possible to come up with a good explanation...they could wait a little bit. At least for the rest of today.

Leaning back against the couch, Kokichi tipped his head back, brushing his bangs off his forehead. “...holy shit…”

-

“Look, I’m just saying...I might eat him.” Susan sighed, sipping at her tea, looking entirely exasperated as she sat opposite of her long time friend. “I know, I know...it’s against the rules. And paradise knows it will absolutely ruin my diet...but Hinata is such a pain in my ass…”

Grinnell gave the housekeeper a tired look. Not the tired look of most healers, born from treating patients of all dispositions, working long hours. It was a fatigue born of centuries of doing that. “Susan...we both know you could get by just fine without this job. As much as I enjoy seeing you, why did you take it? You hate cleaning.”

“Hinata’s doing his job. You know, as your supervisor, keeping track of supplies.” Nell rolled her eyes, stirring her tea around. “Just do your job? Stop trying to summon kobolds to do it for you? Or quit. You know there wouldn’t be any repercussions--Diceans are kind.”

Susan (also known as Susannia Vandalia Garden Aleia-Von’Lipvin the Third, but who was keeping track anyway) gave Grinnell a mildly surprised look, raising a delicate eyebrow above her tea cup as she said, “Who takes a job just to do it? ...other than you healer types.” She rolled her eyes a little as she popped a small cookie into her mouth, an assortment of snacks around them. It wasn’t true that vampires couldn’t eat anything ‘not-blood’...it just didn’t do anything for them, nutrition wise. Empty calories, so to say. 

“That’s no fun at all. The challenge is to take the job...and then find every way possible to not do it at all,” Susan said, eyes shimmering with excited delight, looking more lively in this moment than the goth-prone supernatural being usually did. “Otherwise it’s so...dull. I don’t know how you’ve managed to stick to just one job for, what’s it been...god, two...two thousand years now? When did the fall of the Flora king happen again? You started healing around then, right?”

Nell nodded, taking a sip of her tea before she sighed. “Had to move out of Danganronpa after he burned. Junko’s got the whole no thought privacy thing down, but she’s honestly such a racist bitch. I don’t know how half the Flora in the kingdom can stand living there.”

“And unlike custodial duties,” Nell gave her friend a lazy smirk, “Medicine is always changing. Humans are one of the most inventive species, though I don’t know if that’s a ‘law of large numbers’ thing or a ‘they’re really fragile and short-lived’ thing. It’s like every hundred years one of them gets some weird new disease or injury and the rest scramble to find a solution. It’s fascinating to watch, and even more to be a part of. Like...Prince Kokichi’s condition isn’t new, but the medicine Dr. Kimura made? Reading her reports, it’s incredible work.”

And, if she was reading some of the new reports right, the human doctor was even developing a way to turn a seedling back into a human. Brilliant stuff, though the Flora wouldn’t be happy about that. But, in her opinion, that’s what you got for kidnapping one of the more resilient species for your own purposes. Once they found out what was happening, they’d come at you in droves. That’s why all the vampires that forced humans into their covens were hunted down. Really, the best way to convert someone? Asking them. There were all sorts of weirdo humans out there who would be down to change species. 

“So, unlike you, my dear Susan, I’m part of a game that I didn’t have to make. In yours...isn’t avoiding Hinata part of the game? I’d think someone making it more challenging would be a welcome change in difficulty.”

“Sure...but so is complaining about it. Complaining about stuff is pretty fun too.” Susan smirked at Nell. “Look, we have...literally eternity. I’ll be productive next century. I just want to have fun and be a mild nuisance for a while. It’s fun...and, you’re right. Watching Hinata lose his mind trying to work out what I’m doing with all these towels is...pretty funny.” 

Susan giggled to herself, smirking at the ceiling for a moment... before sighing. “Admittedly, I picked a rough century to do nothing much at all. I don’t know, Nell...you ever get the sense we’re hitting some sort of tipping point? Luminary is on fire, Danganronpa’s grown three times in size in just the last century, even Dicea’s going through one terrorist organization after another these days. And I’m hearing worrying things over on the other continent too. Have you heard about the shit happening in Panem and Fein? Panem’s civil war is ripping itself apart and Luminary wishes it had a slavery program as effecient as Fein’s...and their goddess.” Susan rolled her eyes with a huff. “You wanna talk racist. What a nightmare.”

“It just sorta seems things are...well, I know every century has that ‘does it get any worse than this’ moment, but man...this one feels particularly bad.”

Nell chuckled into her tea. This is why she and Susannia had remained friends for so long, she supposed, and not just because it was nice to have at least one or two constants when everything else changed so often. Having someone understand the little things that made eternity entertaining.

Though… “...you know we don’t actually have eternity,” she gently cautioned. “Things are looking...bleaker than even the low points recently. It might even turn on us. Sure, we can fake a death, move somewhere else...but running forever never works. I’m far from telling you to take your job seriously, but...I think we should be paying attention.”

She puffed some air up to blow her bangs away, not overly concerned but...Susan had a point. Things only seemed to be spiraling further and further. With an annoyed expression, Nell raised an eyebrow at Susan. “Do you think the other so-called gods have a plan, or that they’re just watching this all like a play? I honestly don’t know which option is more depressing.”

“Do they ever? Honestly, I hope not. Every time the gods decide to get all, ya know…’involved’? You either get places like Fein, where everyone is a fanatic, or a shit-ton of new ‘saints’ who all get to be remembered for dying in horrifying ways. It’s never good when the gods get involved.”

She frowned when she went to take another sip, before pouting and holding it out pleadingly towards Nell. “Darling, if you would?”

When her tea cup was refilled, Susan smiled, before taking a satisfied sip. “Thank you, my dear...but, honestly, if things are about to fall apart? We’re in a pretty decent spot. Dicea’s pretty well protected. And, well, if the rest of the world falls apart? Give it another few centuries, it’ll rebuild. I know we’re not, you know…really ‘immortal’ immortal,” Susan said, clearly not all that concerned by the idea, “But, if they’re not coming after vampires in particular? We might as well be. Isn’t that why we stopped eating people? To prevent that?”

“We’ll be fine…” Susan decided, taking another sip...before admitting, “Though, if we’re not, I insist someone tell me early, so I can start hunting before I go. I miss hunting. It was so exciting. And it always got weirdly sexy. Nothing like adrenaline pumping through the veins...I told you that story about the twins I saved from that werewolf pack back in the 18th century, right?  The ones with the pecks?” Susan sighed, smiling lazily at the memory, “18th century...that was easily my favorite one. Everyone was crazy and wild and not organized yet in any particularly useful way...I miss the 18th century.”

Nell tilted her head lightly from side to side, agreeing with Susan in a ‘well, yeah’ way as she poured her friend a fresh cup of tea. She supposed that was just the way things went with “all-powerful” beings, not that any of the gods she had heard about were anywhere close to all-powerful. They try to do anything? A calamity follows with everyone else.

She did miss Iony though, even if that was just her looking upon her youth fondly. The carefree god never really interfered much, just preferring to party with humans and various other creatures alike. All parties had to end, though, and Nell hadn’t heard what Novis had become in the last few millennia. Dicea suited her quite well, so she wasn’t looking for her next home any time soon, but maybe Novis would be next on the list. And maybe travelling the oceans would be easier to do by that time too. 

“That’s true… I suppose the humans here have rubbed off on me a bit, that’s all.” Nell gave Susan a grin. “All that talk about not stopping work just because something seems comfortable enough. I’d hate to see them go, I guess, even if they’ll all die eventually anyway. The Diceans have a good thing going on.”

Much more stable than the wild times Susan regarded fondly. “My dear friend, you and I had very different 18th centuries. I think that shows the difference of how we treat our time now. While you were out hunting and collecting young, pretty paramours, I spent my 18th and half of the 19th in cave systems studying bioluminescent plant-life.” Nell chuckled lightly, finding their preferences fun to compare.

“Gah! You missed out. They just don’t make nubile young idiots the same anymore.” Susan sighed, lost in fond memories. “And werewolves are so whipped now. I swear, they’re basically dogs, for how much they’ve integrated with the humans. I can’t even tell you the last time I had to fight off a raging, mindless werewolf. You know what happened the last time I realized I was talking to a werewolf? She was selling me flowers over on 4th street. Shameful.” Susan huffed, “They used to be powerful! Dangerous!...her customer service was pretty good though, gotta admit.”

“But, I can see why you’re happier, in these incredibly boring times, Miss 'Bioluminescent’. Hmmm…” Susan’s brow suddenly furrowed, a look of realization dawning on her face as she realized, “Maybe I’m...actually bored. And not just just whining for whining’s sake? All the other kingdoms are falling apart, but at least they’re...well, I don’t know...exciting! Alright! Maybe that’s what I should do...go find adventure! Which one should I visit, Nell? What do you think? One on the brink of destruction, like Luminary, or the Hivemind Danganronpa? Noveselic has some warring magic users going on I hear. I heard a rumor even the Elementals are getting involved there! Those sweet, dangerous things never fight anyone, so you know it has to be good! That could be something!”

Nell rolled her eyes a little. Personally, she was happy for how comfortable werewolves seemed to be these days, but maybe she just had a bit more perspective since she used to have a nice little side business selling sleeping draughts to werewolves to knock them out on full moons. There was something freeing about running around as a wild, dangerous creature but...you could only console a sobbing new widow once or twice before you realized there were only a select few that actually enjoyed that kind of stuff. 

Susan, for example. 

Sitting back with an amused expression, Nell poured herself another cup. “What, playing hide-and-seek with your supervisor not entertaining enough for you?” She laughed, but if Susan could find new purpose in her long unlife? Nell would encourage it. And even she had to admit that some of the things going on in the other nearby countries sounded intriguing.

“The Elementals, really? You know that has to mean someone’s messing with the balance of nature. Novoselic is under Luminary’s heel, but maybe a frequent outbreak of fires might keep the Flora away...ah, who knows?” She shrugged, finding the theory-crafting interesting but not too concerned about the outcomes. “Well, travel to Luminary has just opened up again, and from what I hear, there’s a good chance a civil war may break out. You handle yourself wisely, my friend, but if you’re looking for excitement without outing yourself, that may be one of the best places.”

“...and I’m not just saying that so we can still meet for tea every now and again,” Nell laughed, giving her friend a fond smile.

“Well, Novoselic is right next door to Luminary...maybe whatever’s happening there will spread. I’d love to see one in real life...I hear they’re adorable looking when they drop their elemental barriers. Like tiny elves...but, Luminary, hm?”

Susan sipped at her tea, newly energized, and smiled in return.

-

In the middle of the night, a small slip of paper was pushed under the door of the shrine. On it was a cartoon doodle of a cat with the small message ‘<3 u, K’

-

Funerals had happened. Riots were, well...happening. Death cults being annoyingly vocal, rebel groups frustratingly taking advantage of that, and now several wealthy and noble families were openly accusing King Byakuya of having their eldest children whisked away into the night over a month ago. For what ends, Byakuya couldn’t even begin to guess, but the open accusations were making people nervous and defensive and annoyingly bold.

Something needed to be done. Something...extreme. But he wasn’t sure what yet.

In a way, the letters in front of him were a welcome distraction from thinking of the political situation in Luminary. Now that he was...fairly certain Kaito wasn’t being randomly beaten by the unworthy heir in Dicea, thinking of his brother was a more calming experience. A relief. At least he was far away from all of this...but, complacency would lead to despair. Byakuya had to keep an eye on Dicea, to ensure Kaito really would remain healthy and safe there. Leaving him to his fate was unacceptable. Byakuya needed to keep his finger on the pulse of that situation at all times. 

So, the letters.

First, he had to read the copy of the letters intercepted, that Kaito had sent to their cousin Kaede. Which was mostly just concern over the various people he had fucked over the years, now all missing, for...some reason. Byakuya had to assume it had something to do with Kaito, but couldn’t actually publicly acknowledge that, because that would turn the families ire away from himself and towards his brother. Dangerous. So Byakuya had no choice but to push the Remnant of Despair (though...he had strong suspicions that the group actually responsible was more their neighbors to the east…) narrative that the kidnapping were random acts of terrorism against the elite...even if there was more and more proof every day that the kidnappings hadn’t been random at all. 

Next he read the copy of the letter she had sent back, which was just to update him on the investigations. Nothing too bad there. Fine.

After that, the copy of the letter from Prince Kokichi to her, and a copy of her reply...and that was mostly drivel, it seemed. Kaede trying to make nice with Kaito’s husband. Though, her desire to speak to Maki Harukawa over the phone when the lines were up...that was likely for her own purposes. That was fine. Byakuya wasn’t worried about an assassin literally half a continent away. If Kaede was still thinking of using Maki as a tool against him, she was wildly overestimating the woman’s abilities. She was a capable assassin, certainly, but Byakuya’s informants, plus the border patrol, would let him know or at least leave enough clues to guess if she was heading back towards Luminary for any reason. Certainly Kaede knew that bringing Maki back to use her ‘talents’ was a fool's errand, and there was no way his otherwise intelligent cousin would make such a glaring mistake as depending on that. It wasn’t worth worrying over too much.

Alright, next set of letters. 

The next batch was from his informants. Okay…

Ugh...honestly. He was going to fire whoever had picked his informants. Or have him hanged for treason. This was ridiculous. Why was he looking at emoji’s?

Both of the informants' writing styles were atrociously unprofessional, but the Tomomi girl was easily the worst of the two. At the very least Takashi seemed content to just list the news of Dicea’s castle in a reasonable organized format, and giving a debrief of the latest rumors surrounding Kaito in particular. Easy enough to read, if a little, well...uninformative to what Byakuya really wanted, which was news of how Kaito specifically was being treated, or risks against him that such rumors could result in. Oh well. He’d send another letter back asking more specifically for what he was looking for. It’d be his second one now…

Tomomi also passed on rumors about the couple, but her letters were always far more rambly and clearly opinion driven. And the last two letters in particular? The one before the current one had been full of ‘corrections’ to her previous letters. Clarifying that she hadn’t thought to give context to some of the rougher rumors out there, that she had just been writing word for word what she had heard, but not verifying if there was any validity to it. No, no, of course the guardsman Katsuki hadn’t broken Kaito’s arm! It was just a theory that had flown around for a little bit until the horse incident had come to light. And no, no, Kokichi had not tasked the boy Timothy to stab his fiance. Again! Another baseless rumor that had spread among a small handful of people! No truth to them whatsoever! She was sorry if there had been any confusion! 

And then she had gone on to, well…

The latest letter was the most confusing one of all, from her. Again, her letters were so full of her personality and opinions and worldview, but without knowing who she was, it was up to Byakuya to kind of...guess the tone and…

...this last letter seemed almost mocking.

Kaito wouldn’t stop gushing about Kokichi’s acrobatic skills to her, apparently. It was so cute! He was insisting that Kokichi was strong and capable and could fight people, if he wanted to, which is sooooooo funny!! Because Kokichi, well, he’s just sooooooo sweet, and also this little stick of a thing, he’s tiny, and has all these health issues, and it’s just so cute that your brother thinks so highly of him, I could die!!! I mean, it’s kinda weird that Kaito thinks being able to fight is something Kokichi would wanna do anyway?? But his eyes lit up when he said it, it was the happiest I’d seen him, it’s ADORABLE Prince Byakuya!!!

He’d forgive the ‘Prince’ title. The change had happened recently, after all.

...strange. 

This woman clearly loved and valued Dicea. It was clear in everything she wrote. So why would she...suggest to the heir-apparent of a recently enemy nation that her own future leader was incapable of fighting? Even if it was true, which all the other information about Prince Kokichi suggested it was, it was...highly insulting. Borderline vindictive.

Calling someone weak? Casually, like it wasn’t an offense?

Sure, someone could be unsuited for fighting...but you wouldn’t say it. Especially not of someone you otherwise respected. Even if the person needed protection and defense, and obviously couldn’t fight on their own, it was an understood thing that you never pointed that out. Not unless you were trying to embarrass or shame them. Even children were shown more respect then this woman was showing her own Heir-Apparent.

Did Kokichi not have the respect of his own people?

Ugh...Byakuya almost wished the original rumors had been true, in light of this. Even an abusive monster could at least be relied upon to protect something that belonged to him from others. It was starting to sound like this man couldn’t even do that. Thank god Maki and Shuuichi had been sent with Kaito...Byakuya had almost lost that battle. Tengan had fought canceling their contracts till literally after the ink had dried, breaking them from it. Likely hadn’t wanted to deal with either of them on the trip. At least Byakuya could trust Kaito and his Indentureds’ weird, apparently genuine devotion to each other. Byakuya was counting on that, by this point. 

Though, apparently Shuuichi was sick. It had been mentioned on three different letters now. The wilting detective wasn’t prone to illness, but apparently whatever was going on with him was alarming some people. The only person to not mention it at all had been Takashi. 

Hmmmm...which was maybe alarming on its own. Tomomi had clearly been approached by his brother at some point, based on the need for ‘corrections’. Perhaps Takashi had also been approached by one of them, specifically the ill detective.

Sigh. He needed more informants. Preferably not idiotic ones.

Oh well...the phone line would be a blessing, when it came up. Byakuya fully planned to make use of it once it was working. It’d be much simpler to keep track of Kaito from that point on, and honestly, it would help Byakuya sleep better at night. One problem down. Just...a thousand more to go.

...alright.

Byakuya sighed, putting the letters pertaining Kaito aside, moving on to the stack pertaining to Kaede.

One family member down. Onto the next one, problem child that she was.

-

Kokichi had been expecting this, honestly. And in some ways, he was glad for it--it meant that Dr. Ford was involved and concerned for Kaito’s well-being. So, when the doctor came to the castle and requested a meeting with him, Kokichi showed up with a smile and led the older man to a currently unused meeting room on the first floor.

“Thank you for coming by, Dr. Ford. I know we sent a notice, but I was hoping to swing by your office at some point anyway--things have just been...busy.” Kokichi smiled sheepishly at the doctor still...a little overwhelmed whenever he thought about Shuuichi and...their? Child? “Please, have a seat; would you like some water?”

Thankful that Maki had had the time to come to this meeting too, he gave her a smile as well. “You too, Maki-chan. Water?”

He’d explained on the way that Maki was his bodyguard--no offence meant, but a new policy he was trying out, not being alone for even sensitive meetings--but was also a close friend of Kaito and had a good knowledge base of Kaito’s health.

Pouring the drinks people wanted, Kokichi took his own seat, pausing and taking a look at both Maki and Dr. Ford before opening things up. “So, Dr. Ford, you are here to explain why you believe it would be best for Kai-chan to immediately continue with your meetings, correct?”

Dr. Ford smiled warmly as Kokichi put the water down in front of him, taking it gladly and sipping at it as the bodyguard merely shook her head at Prince Kokichi’s offer. “Ah, yes, Kaito had told me Miss Harukawa--or as he seems to enjoy referring to her, ‘Maki-Roll’--” the Doctor chuckled, winking at the girl, who stared impassively back at him, “just got herself her very first job! Congratulations, Maki. I don’t think it breaks patient confidentiality to tell you he is incredibly proud of you.”

Maki didn’t say anything back. She sat in the chair offered to her by Kokichi, angling it just slightly to get a good view of both of them, should Kokichi start looking distressed at some danger she hadn’t caught herself, and was watching Dr. Ford’s hands. Not for weapons. He just...had very expressive hands. She had a feeling if he had a dangerous tell, it would be found there.

Dr. Ford just chuckled at her rude dismissal of his compliment. That about fit the profile of her Kaito had, in his own roundabout way, given him. “Very good, very good…”

He sombered as the cause of his concern was brought up by Kokichi, though, leaning back into his seat and sighing, interlocking his hands on his lap as he said, somewhat gravely, “Yes...now, I joke about confidentiality, but I hope you can understand that while I have concerns over Kaito no longer going to his meetings, I...can’t be entirely forthright with you why I have such concerns. In respect to his privacy...with that said, I hope you will still hear me out, and take me at my word that everything I say, I say with Kaito’s best interest at heart, yes?”

Kokichi nodded with an understanding smile, similarly unbothered by Maki’s silence. They were all working here, but her work was a bit different, and if this was her chosen way to focus, then he’d leave her to it. 

“Of course. I am only privy to anything Kai-chan has chosen to share himself, or, like I said at our initial meeting, anything that would’ve happened if you or him asked to have me join a session. While I worry about him, if Kai-chan hasn’t talked to me about something, then it’s not my business to know.” There were certain outliers, obviously, but it would do no good to discuss them like everyone wasn’t always aware. Kokichi just had to hope that Kaito would one day be comfortable enough to tell him. 

“Similarly…” Kokichi continued, his smile dampening, “we have our own reasons to believe that Kai-chan needs this gap time. And for fear of telling you things he may not have been comfortable talking about yet, we can’t go into them as well but...we all care about him. So I hope we can come up with a plan for Kai-chan’s care that will be best for him.”

“Ha! Ah, it’ll be fascinating to actually, finally get to the things Kaito truly keeps close to his chest. I can say that for having only had three sessions so far, Kaito is one of the most naturally talkative and open people I’ve ever had on my couch. It can be a delight, though admittedly, I’ve had to pull him back from some rants and rambles that go a little too far off course. He really could talk forever about anything, if I let him, I believe.” The doctor chuckled, shaking his head.

“But...while I’m certain you have every best intention, and of course every right, to delay Kaito’s therapy sessions for emergencies and personal reasons...I am a little concerned that, as you mentioned, things that you know about Kaito might conflict, or even directly contradict, with things he’s told me about himself, as...ah.” Dr. Ford sighed, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck lightly, something that Maki’s eyes narrowed at, ever so slightly. “And already, we come to our first little...it really can be difficult, communicating with the family members of my patients. How to word this…”

Ford sighed, moving his hands back together, interlocking them, and lightly pressing them against his lips, taking a moment to consider his wording. “...I have concerns...that Kaito might not be in a healthy state of mind.  And that allowing him to isolate himself, at the very least from a professional who is meant to be helping him right now...might make that state of mind worse. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be allowed his solitude if he needs it. But...well, based on our last session…”

Ford tapped his knuckles against his lips again, seriously thought about it...and then confessed, “It is entirely possible that, while it may have had a delayed reaction, Kaito is seeking solitude specifically to avoid meetings with me. I think he was...alarmed by something I said to him last meeting. I thought, at the time, he had handled it well, but...then, next thing I hear is that Kaito has furloughed all meetings until further notice, and I can’t help but see a connection there. Which is...not an ideal way to allow someone to respond to therapy.”

Kokichi laughed softly, nodding along with that entirely accurate guess. It was something he really loved about Kaito, how he could talk for hours with only the slightest ‘go-ons’ from other people. The castle was never really quiet, which Kokichi had found out on their trip but...having Kaito fill the space so near to Kokichi was just another way his husband made his life brighter. 

...he just wished he knew how to return the favor.

Kaito wasn’t in a healthy state of mind. That’s why he was going to anger management, and not just because of Luminary’s stances on revenge and justice. Everything with his brother, the stress from Shuuichi’s addiction, the new responsibilities of fatherhood, the deaths of his parents, the huge culture shock, the adaption to married life, the trauma of Kokichi’s kidnapping, the disappearances of his friends by a death cult… There wasn’t a single person who would be able to take all that and deal with it healthily on their own. But that was why…

While Kokichi nodded sadly, something like understanding lit in his eyes. “Ah...okay, I see. While I agree that a refusal to think critically is more of a detriment to someone, I highly doubt that’s what Kai-chan is doing.”

“More than any one thing you could’ve said to him, doctor… From how Maki-chan and Shuu-chan have explained it to me, combined with how Kai-chan has explained his faith to me, and my own observations...this is how Kai-chan processes difficult subjects. If it was just something difficult you two discussed in a session, I would agree and encourage Kai-chan to at least try to see you once a week, if not keep with the original schedule. However…”

Kokichi sighed, true worry in his expression, the list in his head feeling heavy, though that was nowhere near how it was probably feeling to Kaito. “...It’s not just one issue Kai-chan is dealing with. It’s...a lot. Likely even more than he’s talked with me about. It was...maybe selfish of me. I was hoping that therapy would be able to help him with it all but...I believe he needs this time to process. To think through everything that’s happened and consult with his faith and...probably other coping methods that I don’t know, but Shuu-chan and Maki-chan have assured me do not put Kai-chan’s life in danger.”

Smiling sadly, Kokichi clasped his hands in his lap. “I was always hoping for things to get better but...it really does seem that incidents keep happening one after another. If Kai-chan needs some time to withdraw and sort himself out, then I support him. And, once he feels secure interfacing with the world again, you two will continue your sessions, since neither of you have indicated that things have been going poorly.”

Dr. Ford’s face didn’t change at all, that sort of patient, listening warmth radiating off him as it usually did.

But half-way through Kokichi’s explanation, his thumbs started tapping together slightly. 

Hmm….okay.

This was maybe a dead end. 

This could potentially be...very bad. The medicine Dr. Ford had been giving Kaito during their sessions had been to lesson the effects of his spreading and multiplying pollen. The fact that Kaito was becoming too emotionally overwhelmed could just be because he was, well...emotionally overwhelmed. There was no getting around that was likely a factor in all this. But, Dr. Ford had to assume that it was at least partially to do with Kaito’s need to seek out stressful situations becoming stronger. Not enough where it’s set off a pleasure switch yet, it looked, but definitely he was less risk-averted by this point, and it would only get worse without careful dosing. 

Damn. He had had such a lucky break with Dr. Ford. Kaito, alone, three days a week. Willing and pressured to do literally anything Dr. Ford asked. For six weeks? It had been perfect. And now…

Dammit.

If he could just talk to the idiot for a moment...just hint to him that this was all affecting his ‘grade’, he was certain Kaito would become too nervous to not go to the sessions. Get everything back on track. But the whole reason this meeting was happening was because Dr. Ford had been refused when he had offered to go talk to Kaito himself.

Hmmmmmm...damn...what to do, what to do…

...his faith, huh.

Dr. Ford nodded, looking a little relieved, though conflicted as he said, “Well...again, as I said in our first meeting, no one quite has access to his mental state like the spouse does. If you believe that Kaito is not simply intimidated and retreating from taking some hard looks into his life or himself--which, again...is somewhat of a necessity when it comes to therapy--...then perhaps I can bring myself to err to your judgement.”

Dr Ford clapped his hands together, saying cheerfully, “But! Perhaps, while I have you both here, his husband and, presumably a...nother follower of Atua?” Dr. Ford guessed, glancing at Maki, who stared back blankly at him. “Maybe I could actually get you to clear some things up there for me. Kaito references his faith often during our sessions, but admittedly, I have very little context for the things he’s referencing, and I am remiss to stop his thought process and force him to explain to me the nuances of it. Understanding his faith might actually prove to be a key factor in my understanding of his mindframe, and any information you could give me about it would be quite the help in future sessions. For instance, Kaito mentioned to me that there was somewhat of an embarrassing incident in his childhood where he believed he had an imaginary friend in Atua? Do you think you could elaborate on that, Miss Harukawa? May I call you Maki?”

Maki stiffened slightly at that, glancing at Kokichi. She...wasn’t actually sure how much of that Kokichi knew. Uncertainly, she said, “You may if you insist...but no, I won’t elaborate. If you wish to know about the religion itself, it’s simple. There’s a creator god, named Atua, who made the universe and protects the people in it out of love for them. When you die, you go on a personalized journey called the Trials, which are meant to make you a better person, suitable for paradise, once you’re done with them. He’s represented by three iron x’s interlaced with each other as a symbol, but anything made of iron can be considered a holy testament to him. Atua does not directly interfere with life on earth, but it’s believed if you blood-let and ask his saints for help, they are allowed to give their blessing to you to get you out of predicaments, should they decide they want to help you. That’s really all there is to it, beyond a bunch of unnecessary extra stuff.”

“Oh.” Dr. Ford said, rubbing his beard slightly, “So, Atua doesn’t interfere, but his saints can...but Kaito believed he heard Atua himself as a child, yes?”

Maki shrugged. Refusing to say anything more about it.

Kokichi frowned a bit at the ‘incident’ Dr. Ford referenced, but he listened to Maki’s brief run-down of the religion quietly. Kaito had believed that the reason he gave up his claim to the Luminous throne was common knowledge but...it still seemed like it was something difficult for him to talk about. And from Kokichi’s perspective...the whole thing had been shitty and manipulative and...he didn’t want to get into it if Kaito hadn’t explained it to Dr. Ford already. 

Shrugging, Kokichi tried to elaborate just a slight bit more. “I think an imaginary friend is closer to how Kaito explained that time in his life to me. He’s very devout and spent a lot of time in his family’s temple so...at least from my perspective, instead of playing and going on adventures with, like, story characters, he did it with his god and the Atuan saints. From what I understand, something like that isn’t even close to blasphemous so…” he shrugged again.

Before he perked. “Oh, uh… I don’t know how relevant it is, but there’s a way to go through your trials with someone else by undergoing a bonding ritual--spiritually bonding yourself to a person and an animal guide. Kai-chan and I did that on our wedding day, as part of the Luminous rites. I dunno if he mentioned it, but that’s what the big scar on his wrist is from.”

Bonding ritual? Ugh. This is what he got for ignoring religions his whole life. This was going to be tricky, but...so long as he kept it vague, he’d probably be okay. Humans, all non-hiveminded that they were, were usually content to fill in the blanks of conversations with their own guesses as to what the other person meant, which could be very biased and extremely useful. So long as he never said anything that was too dramatically wrong? Then he didn’t have to be dramatically accurate.

Smiling warmly, Dr. Ford nodded, saying, “Ah! I had wondered. Subjects like that can be a little sensitive, so when I noticed the scar on his wrist, I was content to wait for Kaito to bring up its origin himself. But, it’s good to know that stemmed from a happy experience, rather than a bad one.”

Getting up and dramatically stretching his hands over his head, he said, “Well...I’ve come to say my piece, and while I’ll admit this wasn’t the result I was hoping for, I do feel better that it’s not exactly the worst way forward in regards to Kaito’s mental health. Thank you so much for agreeing to sit with me, Prince Kokichi. I do hope I haven't taken you away from anything important. I have another patient coming in in just a little less than an hour, so I should probably be off if we have nothing else worth discussing?”

As he looked to the door, he stopped, an idea coming to mind as he said, “Oh...maybe this is too forward, but...Prince Kokichi?” He said, turning around to consider the smaller prince. “I suddenly have three slots opened up in my week...not to be intrusive, but...I do have a specialty in trauma therapy. For someone who’s been through what you have so recently...it’s something to consider.” Dr. Ford gently offered, giving the man a sympathetic look.

Nodding pleasantly, Kokichi got up a few polite beats after Dr. Ford, going to collect his glass to take over to the kitchen. Usually it was fine to just leave used cups upright next to the water pitchers, but since he wasn’t staying in the room, he might as well. “If I may speak selfishly, I’m not very happy about my husband spending all his time in his shrine either, but I’m hoping that he will come out of this with a greater sense of peace. And, hopefully, you two will have a productive time speaking together when he’s ready.”

Kokichi looked around, putting the room back in order though he paused when Dr. Ford stopped at the door and… There was a small drop in his shoulders. His expression falling slightly. But he managed a small smile. “...thank you, Dr. Ford. I’ll think about it, and we’ll be in touch.”

Swallowing, Kokichi looked up at Maki with a forced brighter smile. “That went okay, right? Thanks for sitting in, Maki-chan.”

“Of course. Call on me anytime.” Maki said, watching the door after the doctor had left, frowning a bit. “...I wish Shuuichi had been here. His body language was strange, wasn’t it? Or...I might be paranoid, looking for something that isn’t there...he wasn’t dangerous, at least. Though I suppose we weren’t suspecting him to be.”

Maki pouted a little, pulling at her hair. She couldn't really define into words what had put her off about him, though she suspected she was perhaps overcompensating for her first real assignment in her new job duties. Usually when she was sitting in with someone, it was because there was a fear of an assassination attempt happening at the meeting, or Maki was being key’d up to to kill someone at the meeting. But...this wasn’t like that...she was pretty certain. Danger wasn’t ‘expected’ here...her presence was a precaution. Nothing more.

So the fact that the Doctor had made her nervous was more likely than not her projecting, then anything else.

Yeah...that made sense.

Kokichi hummed softly, holding the door for Maki once the doctor reasonably had time to be on his way, thinking about how he’d acted during the meeting. “I didn’t notice anything particularly strange...and sometimes people just have odd habits. But as long as you don’t think he had ill intent? Then it’s probably okay.”

“...I actually had joked to Kai-chan about me going to see Dr. Ford, once,” Kokichi sighed. “He said that Dr. Ford had a sense of humor that wouldn’t really go with mine so...I dunno. Maybe he’s just kind of weird and you’re picking up on that? If we have another meeting, we can ask Shuu-chan to join too.”

Kokichi was quiet for a moment as he and Maki walked together, tapping on the cup in his hands. “...I want to be supportive of him...but I’m worried about Kai-chan. I made sure he has some warm blankets, and Hajime-chan said that he’s eating the meals people bring to the door...and people are regularly bringing up water pitchers so even if he’s letting it should be alright...but…”

He looked up at his friend, tired and concerned. He was worried about Kaito himself plenty so...he didn’t want to bring up his...other concerns. About how cold their room seemed. About how Kokichi was having trouble sleeping again, plagued by nightmares to the point he’d been taking a few letters back into his room to work on at night. About the disappointment that felt like it was hollowing out his chest when he thought about stopping by the shrine to...just tell Kaito about his day. Ask Kaito about his. Just wanting to talk to his husband again, and chickening out every time, not wanting to make it all worse. 

“...he’s done this for weeks before, right?”

Maki nodded, looking down at her friend in concern, noting how exhausted he sounded. It was no secret that he wasn’t exactly looking rested lately, though he seemed to be keeping up good spirits otherwise. Mind, he might just not be showing the toll this was taking on him…

“A few times.” Maki said, walking with him down the hall, following his lead. “In the time since I knew him, I’ve seen him do this for over a week three times. I only count those three, but he’s referenced that his longest time hidden away was when his mentor died. And, after a certain point with that, I heard they literally dragged him out. As for the times after?”

Maki thought back, “Two of them of them I was there for, the last one I was away on a mission. The first one I remember him doing this for over a week, it was because Shuuichi had rejected him. I know he talks about it rather casually now, but it’s a little difficult to stress how badly he took the rejection. I think Shuuichi was the first person Kaito had ever, you know...actually, properly confessed to, and Shuuichi wasn’t exactly...tactful. That had lasted two weeks, before I finally had dragged Shuuichi into the temple and forced him and Kaito to talk it out.”

“The second time, he came out on his own after, again, roughly two weeks...no, a little longer than two weeks. The Chad incident.” Maki said dismissively, assuming Kaito and Kokichi had likely already discussed this by this point. “That time, he wouldn’t talk to anyone, not even through the door. I think he was embarrassed. But, one day, the door just opened up and he walked out, looking a little worse for wear, but otherwise okay.”

“I don’t know much about the last time. Shuuichi could tell you more, but apparently he had another multi-week fit due to some relationship problem in college. Something to do with Korekiyo. Again, I was on a mission during that time, so I missed all of it. I think I was over at the front lines even for that one? But, from what I hear, that was another one where he just walked out himself.”

“So, two where he was dragged out, and one where he walked out...but you know multi-weeks isn’t the norm for him. Three, four days is his usual. He could just as easily come out tomorrow.” Maki said, shrugging slightly.

Looking down at Kokichi, before looking around carefully, to see if they were alone, she said quietly to him. “What about you? How are you?”

Based on what he knew of the previous inciting incidents...this had the makings of a multi-week seclusion. Hell, even if it had just been his parents? Just that was devastating enough to have Kaito lock himself away. Add in everything else…

It was an odd habit, but when things were falling apart, Kokichi found himself getting hung up on such tiny, inconsequential things. And this time...he found himself worried that Kaito would end up hiding in his shrine through his birthday. It really didn’t matter, they could always celebrate after, Kaito’s mental health was more important than getting to celebrate an, honestly, arbitrary day with loved ones… But he found that thought just...really sad. 

...but Kaito would come out when he was ready. They just had to support him until then.

Glancing up at Maki, he gave her a small, appreciative smile before half-shrugging at the ground. “...I miss him. It hasn’t even been that long but...we haven’t really been apart much since we got married. It’s just...weird. Even more since I know he’s hurting.”

“...I’m tired. I’m...scared. I’m angry…” He sighed again. “I don’t feel very good but...we’re already doing what we can. Just...gotta appreciate the good moments when they happen, and wait for results.”

“...I got a letter from Kaede. I don’t remember if I mentioned it to you… I gave her a hint, but she said she missed you, and I said that she should get excited to hear all about your new job once the telephone lines get set up in Luminary. We’ll have to set up an appointment...but she hopes we can get the chance to talk to each other then.”

Maki’s features softened slightly. 

Kaede missed her?

...she sighed, shaking the feelings away. It didn’t matter. They needed to discuss the plan, which is why they needed to talk. That was...that was it. That was all.

“Good. Well, not all that about you not feeling good, but the letter, I mean.” Maki said, running her hands over the heavier parts of her skirt reassuringly as she said, “The telephone system will be extremely helpful, if its privacy can be trusted. So that’s good. As for you...would…”

Maki tried to think of how they could reasonably do this without ruining everything they had set up. ESPECIALLY with Shuuichi being pregnant, it was more important than ever to watch on his withdrawal and make certain he didn’t put himself in danger looking for pollen. With the placebos in place, and Shuuichi having likely caught on by this point that the drugs were basically placebos (though that didn’t stop him from insisting he have one every morning, as if he was afraid he would finally miss out on a good one if he skipped), that left Shuuichi only the option of seeking his drugs from outside the castle. Maki didn’t know what possible ideas he could end up pursuing if the cravings got bad enough, but she wanted to give Shuuichi as short a line as possible to hang himself with, if he had to have a line at all.

So, she said, “...What if we could make certain your room was secure at night, and we moved the placebos to my room from now on? Would it help you at all to have Shuuichi around more? With you at night? If we kept a watch in the hallway at night, and Katsuki kept an eye on your window…I don’t know. I don’t know the extent of your relationship. Would that help anything, or just make it worse?” Maki asked.

She didn’t make the offer idly. Shuuichi was...getting more and more depressed lately. Just quietly sad now, rather than lashing out as he had been. Nights spent with Kokichi might be more soothing to him then nights with herself. And, so long as she knew he was safe?...it’s not like she wanted to leave Shuuichi miserable. She knew she wasn’t the best company, and Shuuichi had gone from openly resenting her to quiet frustration to silent defeat, just letting her do whatever she liked and…

She was okay being the bad guy in Shuuichi’s days. To be a gentler version of what Nao had been to him. But...he was her best friend. Her brother. She wasn’t thrilled being the worst part of his day every day now. She wanted to give him a break from her, if she could. Work was helping with that, but there were just as many incidents that kept Shuuichi from working as often as he went in and did a full day.

Look, she was trying her best, okay? Timothy was starting school soon and Kaito was apparently not going to be available to drop him off in the morning now, so Maki was trying to work that, and Shuuichi was miserable, and Kaito was locked in a closet, and Kokichi was clearly feeling the pressure, and her other two kids were death cultists that she was trying to find the balance between ‘getting them executed’ and ‘letting them run around to kill again’. Honestly, thinking about Kaede’s plan was the only thing that didn’t seem difficult to navigate these days. Murder a couple of dozen people? Easy, no worries. Navigate her loved ones collective mental health? She was out of her depth here, but trying her best, dammit.

“From everything I can understand from Miu’s plans and how it works just in the city...the message itself is secure. What travels through the line is just vibration, and without the receiver and how it’s set up at either end, there’s no way to intercept it. As long as the people on each end are alone, then there shouldn’t be a way for anyone else to know the conversation.”

It was...incredible, honestly. Kokichi wasn’t writing to Miu as much these days but he made sure to send her a letter balancing his awe at her work with the snark they’d come accustomed to. He did mention, though, that his ideas of coming to see her were...put on hold. 

...because there was a death cult with its eyes on him and both his lovers, and with whatever they could get out of Tom, Itch, and Aba the investigation might...take a long time… And his husband was going through an anger management course that was put on hold so he could hide away to not lose his mind… And his boyfriend was pregnant and...you weren’t really supposed to travel when you’re pregnant, right?

Kokichi felt the exhaustion of all those things, but it almost felt like Maki had picked him up out of the mud. Straightening, he looked at her in wonder for a moment before giving her a shy smile. “I mean… I’d enjoy spending my nights with Shuu-chan, and if that gives you the bonus of getting your bed to yourself again, I’d be happy to.”

Laughing nervously, Kokichi rubbed the back of his neck as his cheeks tinted. “We had actually been looking forward to spending the night together sometime. Shuu-chan is a really nice cuddle buddy, it’d be nice to have more than just a nap for that.” Shrugging a little, Kokichi looked up at Maki with a little more liveliness than he’d had in the past few days. “We can ask him about it when we get back to the office?”

Maki felt a touch relieved when Kokichi not only agreed, but seemed genuinely excited by the idea. Good, that was…

...Maki was trying to be optimistic about Shuuichi’s situation.

She really was. 

She liked Kokichi. A lot. He was funny when he wanted to be and an excellent person to whine at and she found she liked it, funnily enough, when he whined at her. There was, again, something...comfortable in being that vulnerable with someone, and uplifting in seeing them be vulnerable in return. It was good. She liked it.

And it was a good thing too, because if she hadn’t? If she had barely known Kokichi and all of this had happened? 

She’d be seriously considering killing him.

Kaito loved Shuuichi. Had for almost a decade, though he had made, apparently, a fairly good show of getting over Shuuichi and moving on with his life. But, as much as he loved him...he was sworn to Kokichi. And Maki believed that was having very real, tangible effects on his conditioning. If faced with a choice between Kokichi’s happiness and Shuuichi’s? she... honestly didn’t know who he’d pick. And because of that, couldn’t trust his judgement when it came to Shuuichi right now.

So, with Kaito and Kokichi married, Kaito devout in all the ways he both wanted to be and had to be...if Kokichi had decided that a pregnant Shuuichi, who most people weren’t even aware was a part of that relationship, and as he had mentioned when they had been arguing about condoms, had only joined the relationship initially partly out of concern for his well being and partly due to Maki’s own desperate ideas...if he had decided a pregnant Shuuichi wasn’t worth dealing with? That when push came to shove, Shuuichi had been more of a fun lay for him and his husband then an actual partner to them? And he didn’t want all of Shuuichi’s new problems as part of his life? If Maki had suspected even for a second that was the case?

She would have killed him.

She’d have given Kaito and Shuuichi a chance to run first. Maybe lied to Kaito, found some excuse that they needed to get out of the castle for a while. Timothy’s in your caravan, I’ll ride with Kokichi. A visit somewhere maybe? She didn’t know. But she would have killed Kokichi and accepted all the consequences of that action, if it ensured Kaito chose to take care of Shuuichi in the aftermath. It would have been the only option forward. She would not allow Shuuichi to be abandoned. 

But…. Kokichi had accepted responsibility immediately. After freaking out for all of a minute, which was understandable. And seeing him genuinely excited to spend more time with Shuuichi, rather then looking burdened by the suggestion?

It was reassuring. 

Maki had so, so much love in her.

And only knew how to solve problems through murder.

...well, she supposed that wasn’t true now. Lake had shown her an interesting little pin for violent old people that wouldn’t break their backs, so that was one problem she knew how to solve without murder, anyway.

Everything else?

...well, she was learning.

But this one would have been murder. Easy.

She was just glad it didn’t have to be. Nodding, she said, “Sure. I’m certain he’ll be thrilled. My room isn’t exactly cosy. And maybe when Kaito hears what you’re doing, he’ll get so jealous for both of your attention he’ll come out on his own.” Maki shrugged, smirking slightly. “That would be the sorta stupid thing to lure him out. Both of his lovers are cuddling without him? The outrage.”

Kokichi giggled softly, popping into the kitchen to drop off the cup into the dish bin before returning to Maki so they could head back upstairs. “I would be thrilled if it even convinced him to sleep in our room again. I know he has pillows and blankets now, and there’s ventilation so he’s not gonna be too stuck with the smell of, you know, but...I’m just worried about him being comfortable. Warm enough. Not that I’d really help that anyway, since I just steal Kai-chan’s warmth, but...I dunno. You guys aren’t used to how cold it gets here, so I’m kind of expecting to use the fireplace sooner than usual.”

Giving Maki a half-teasing, half-genuine smile, Kokichi offered, “And like I said before, at least to me, you’re welcome in our room at any time. If winter really hits you guys, we can bring in some extra cots and have the four of us, and even Tim if he wants, in our bedroom, keep the fire going… The insulation and water heating in the castle is really good, but there’s only so much you can do with a big building when it gets to the negative double digits, you know?”

Like a big sleepover… Or what he knew a lot of families did in the colder months. Choose a room with good heating and all pile in. 

...that’s...they would be family, wouldn’t they… He and Kaito already were, and if he was Shuuichi’s baby’s other daddy...Maki was Shuuichi’s sister, Tim was her son…

Kokichi stopped walking all of a sudden, the realization hitting him hard. He...had always wanted a big family. The feeling he got in the dining hall on good days. And without really realizing it…

Kokichi looked up at Maki with wide, amazed eyes. “...are you technically my sister-in-law?”

Maki looked curiously down at him, before stopping to think about it. 

“Hmmmm.” she hummed to herself...before looking up the hall. Down the hall. Were they alone?

Deciding they were, Maki walked over to Kokichi and, in a motion she had learned from Kaito, she brushed the hair off his forehead, leaned in, placed a small, chaste kiss against the very top of his forehead. 

And then, staring him in the eyes, said entirely sincerely, “Put a ring on his finger, and then you can ask me that again.”

Then she straightened up, smirked at him slightly in amusement, before continuing forward, unphased by any of that.

There was a beat before Kokichi beamed, giggling delightedly to himself, something that lasted a few moments before he was able to calm himself. And when he did… Kokichi twirled bits of his hair, looking over at Maki in sheepish embarrassment. 

“I was...actually thinking about it. But Shuu-chan is my second relationship...ever? And he’s going through a lot of stuff so...I dunno. I was just going to keep it in the back of my mind.”

“Kai-chan and I decided to do relationship stuff together but...it’s complicated. Shuu-chan is the first person I’ve ever asked out...the first person I ever decided to be with because I felt like it was right. Because I wanted to, because I really care about him. I just...didn’t want to be hasty in case this is just how I feel when I like dating someone. Don’t propose on the first date, and all that stuff.”

“And now…” Kokichi tugged at a longer chunk falling down the back of his neck. “I just...don’t want to pressure him. Make him feel like he has to say yes just because of everything that’s going on. And I’d wanna talk to Kai-chan too… If I asked Shuu-chan...I’d want him to say yes because he wants to, not just to…go through the motions of what’s expected...you know?”

Maki thought about it...and laughed lightly. A small, bell-like sound, rather the usual mean snort that she sported every time she felt like laughing. Something almost bashful in the sound as she said, “...no, not really? I don’t.”

“I didn’t grow up around any married couples who, well... I knew well enough to express that part of their lives to me. And you and Kaito are the first married couple I’ve known our age. I’ve never seen someone date and fall in love and get married before. I have...no idea what that looks like. And neither does Kaito, and neither does Shuuichi.”

“So, if you did end up proposing to Shuuichi someday...I think, that you’re right. Maybe you should take some time with it. Maybe even till long after the baby is born...just to be certain you mean it when you say it. So that you don’t hurt him when you do, and find out you didn’t.”

“...but at the same time,” Maki said, frowning, “There’s a part of  me that wants to insist you should do it soon. Right away. Just...just to make it harder to leave him if you decide to.”

“I genuinely don’t know what the better option is.” Maki admitted, “I want him to be safe, but I also want you two, or, you three to be happy together. I don’t want him trapped in a relationship where someone resents him...even if I can’t help but see a level of security in seeing him officially claimed by you.” Maki admitted.

Kokichi sighed, the romantic in him seeing the reasoning of Maki’s thought. “It’s his decision, of course but...if Shuu-chan wants to raise his kid, I want to ask to be a parent. Even if it’s not mine and even if we’re not married. I know you value action over words, but until I can act...there’s no way I’m leaving Shuu-chan. Physically or emotionally.”

Huffing a bit, Kokichi tugged on a tangle in his hair, trying to ease it away with his fingers. “I do love him. A lot. I’m dedicated to him and his child--there’s no other option worth considering in my mind. And...that’s something I can do without just...stressing Shuu-chan out with a proposal. So...to do that right? To do a marriage right, where it’s supposed to be about dedication and care and love, and nothing else? I’ll...I’ll wait. But in every other way of claiming responsibility...that will be public. So if the unthinkable happens and I leave Shuu-chan to his own devices…”

“...you and the rest of the country can come after me about it,” Kokichi practically growled, giving the impression that he’d be after himself too in that situation.

Like Kaito had the last time Kokichi had suggested something similar, Maki found something vaguely alarming about the idea of telling, well...the entire country that Kokichi was making a mistake. Punishment should be, well...a private thing. It was partly what made Byakuya’s displays so shocking and particularly damaging to Kaito. Luminary was a country of secrets, both on the macro and micro level. Telling everyone someone’s secret? It was considered...cruel. 

But, she had been walking around with Lake enough by this point to know that public shaming was kind of how Dicea functioned as a whole. Other than therapy? Public shaming was how Dicea kept its people in line, and that sentiment apparently went as high as the royal family. 

She could...understand it, she supposed, and if something like that really would shame Kokichi into treating Shuuichi better? Like how Maki hoped her brother would be treated in this relationship? Then… “Fine. I’ll hold you too that.” She said, again finding herself smirking at his anger. There was always something very endearing, to Maki at least, whenever Kokichi got angry. It was moments like these where she thought, in another life, that she would have had some actual fun sparring with him. Getting to see him really let it out in a way that was, in her mind, entirely safe.

Oh well. Maybe someday. Maybe when the baby was going through its terrible twos.

As they walked, a thought occured to Maki, and she said, “I hope it's a girl. I have too many boys in my life.”

Maybe that was where so much of the disconnect between Kokichi and his Luminaries happened. In Luminary, punishment was private, but severe. Personal and full of fear. In Dicea? It was very public. The names of cheaters scoffed and spat upon towns over by people who had never met any of the people involved. Hell, it was still a divisive thing to talk about, whether you believed Lake was justified in killing her parents. On the whole, people agreed that murder was horrific but...she was a child that was being beaten and isolated. With no help incoming...could you really blame her? Kids still recognized the woman as the guard to go to to beat up your bullies--if the Hero of Justice gave you a right hook, then you knew you were in the wrong!

And while everyone knew...they also believed that you could change for the better. And if you did, then you could prove that to the whole country too.

Humming softly, Kokichi tilted his head to the side. “...biologically, anyway, do you think that’s...possible? Since there weren’t any women involved… But I don’t know how having three biological parents would work either, and Seiko thinks that’s a possibility so...I really don’t have any idea. Do you think Shuu-chan would take name suggestions?”

“I’m allowed to dream.” Maki sighed, though she looked disappointed that the chance was thin. She didn’t understand science that well, so she had no idea if a woman could be produced by three men. Sigh. 

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t. And if he doesn’t want any, I don’t see why we can’t throw some at him anyway. What about...Flint or Ember...I always thought those were very pretty names. Or Carnage. That’s a nice word, Carnage. It rolls off the tongue. I remember wishing my name was Carnage when I was kid...Carnage Butterfly.” Maki laughed. “I told Kaito that was my saint name, the few times he got me to roleplay being Atuan Saints with him. I will defend myself immediately and remind you I was ten.”

Kokichi snickered softly, though not unkindly. He had plenty of embarrassing kid stuff to empathize with, and hearing that Maki got to do some of her own? It was sweet. “Somehow that still feels fitting. Man...I don’t remember what it was from, but there was a book I read a long time ago that had a villain named Papillon--means butterfly. I think because...there’s some myth about soul-sucking butterflies. I remember getting super freaked out over it.”

“I think...if it’s a girl… I mean. It doesn’t mean anything to you guys so I feel kind of awkward even suggesting it to him, but...Miyako? It’s, um...it was my mother’s name.” Kokichi looked down shyly, playing with the ends of his sleeves. “Like Shuu-chan, my mom was a huge smarty pants...I just feel like it’d be something nice...but I don’t think I’d bring it up.”

It was a nice conversation, but Kokichi knew that Shuuichi wouldn’t exactly appreciate hearing them continue it. Especially with Nadya in the room. Opening the office door, he held it for Maki before greeting its occupants. “We’re back!”

Nadya looked up from her work with a warm smile, nodding to her boss and...coworker in a different department. “Welcome.”

Shuuichi glanced up from his desk, before looking back at the ledger, trying to finish the math that he had jotted down on a loose piece of paper first, double checking the financial records of the fishing industry. He had thought the output number looked inflated, but, well, he was almost done and it and it looked like it was accurate. Well, good on the red-herring industry. It looked like they were doing really well.

Maki nodded at the Nadya, before heading over to Shuuichi’s desk, tapping her finger on his cover, causing him to blink in confusion before looking up, confused. “Hmm?”

“You feeling alright?” Maki asked, “Did you eat lunch?”

“Yeah? Yes.” Shuuichi said, trying to look back down at his equation, before saying, annoyed as Maki tapped on his hat again, “Maki. What? I’m trying too-”

“You wanna sleep in Kokichi’s room for awhile?” She asked. Not worried about his co-worker hearing.

Shuuichi’s eyes widened, before glancing at Kokichi. “...really?”

Going back to his own desk, Kokichi started arranging his work before looking up at Shuuichi with an excited grin. Before it softened into something a little sheepish, at least. “I mean...I do have a big bed all to myself right now...feels wrong not to share it with anyone. If you wanted to have sleepovers with me rather than Maki-chan, I mean, it’s something we can arrange. I’ll warn ya, though--Kai-chan doesn’t say I have icicle hands for no reason.”

Nadya glanced between the two men before rolling her eyes to herself. The three of them, then. Cute. 

Shrugging a little, Kokichi sat down to get back to business. “You can think about it--doesn’t really matter until it’s time to go to bed, you know?”

He...was kind of hoping Shuuichi would agree. For all the reasons he liked being around Shuuichi in general but also...maybe the nightmares would go away if there was someone else there. 

Shuuichi looked back and forth between Kokichi and Maki, before saying quietly to Maki, “What’s the catch?”

“I’ll be talking to the guards in the castle to ensure there’s literally always someone in our hallway at night, and will be talking to Katsuki about watching the window. If, for any reason, you manage to leave anyway?” Maki said, staring blankly at him. Her voice low, not trying to embarrass him in front of his boyfriend or co-worker, this conversation between them. “It’ll be months before I even entertain this idea again, and no one will talk me out of it.”

Maki put a hand on his shoulder, and squeezed it gently. “Understand me? No one will talk me out of it.”

Shuuichi stared back at her, back tensing...before relaxing. Maki wasn’t putting him in a position where he was going to fail. She had already said she was putting two guards on him. It would take a lot to get around that, especially Katsuki. The threat was just her way of making him think twice if he did somehow see a way.

“Okay Maki.” He agreed. 

Maki nodded, before saying louder. “Good. You kick at night, I’ve almost stabbed you so many times now. It’ll be nice to have my bed to myself for once.” she said, looking around to make sure everything was secure, before saying, “I’m gonna go check on Timothy. Anyone need anything from me before I go? Kokichi?”

Kokichi laughed softly. Maybe he should start wearing knee highs to bed, just to protect his shins from Shuuichi’s sleep-kicking ways. He hadn’t noticed that from any of their naps together, but they’d never spent a night together. He’d be looking forward to it, regardless. 

Giving her a little wave, Kokichi shook his head. “I’m good, thanks Maki-chan. And thanks again for coming to that meeting with me--tell Tim I said hi!”

-

“Okay! Okay, okay, s-so...maybe Dad provoked him, right? Like, like, l-like maybe it was basically self defense?” Kaito pitched to Atua, looking up at Atua’s wife imploringly, feeling...a little dizzy. “I mean, that’s almost justifiable, right? Dad threw people out of that window! It was why the window was designed like that in the first place, right? S-so if dad, like...l-like maybe it was a struggle? A spur of the moment-”

‘Then why did your mother die?’

Kaito shuddered, suddenly feeling nauseous. He was eating what he was given, of course he was, he wasn’t stupid. He was just...bleeding a lot and his body was, well...maybe going into shock just a little bit. Just a tad. He couldn’t stop shaking.

“Okay...maybe...maybe he didn’t-”

‘He told you he was writing that letter while she was dying. He was bragging about it. It wasn’t unrelated, or a mistake. He was bragging about it Kaito.’

“...I...I h-have to be... m-misunderstanding…” Kaito whispered, feeling his head pulse against his temple, sliding down the wall and wrapping his arms around his knees, wincing as he felt the cuts on his shoulders shift uncomfortably. “...h-he wouldn’t have.”

‘He did.’

Kaito groaned, knocking his head against the hard edge of his knee.

Had she been prone to speaking in such a fashion, Waku would have said that the vibes behind the closet door were rancid. And not just because of the constant, nauseating stench of blood coming from behind it. Aiichi had briefly explained to the housekeepers that bloodletting was an important ritual in the Atuan faith, and so was the cleaning of it, so they shouldn’t be alarmed by the smell of Kaito’s shrine, but nor should they clean it unless Kaito explicitly asked for their help. 

It was kind of gross, but contained. And that’s what mattered, she supposed. It wasn’t so smelly that someone just walking by the hall would shudder--you had to be in front of the door. 

Which...she did find herself in front of, but the smell didn’t bother her much. Trying not to listen in on the murmurs from the closet and trying not to let herself burst inside to help, just...the utter grief on the other side, the small woman knocked softly on the door. “New water pitcher’s here. I can take the old ones if you’re done, Prince Kaito.”

Oh...it’s the gremlin. 

Ugh, stop it. That wasn’t nice. She wasn’t ugly, she was just...strange looking. It was disturbing. Kirumi too...now that he was looking back at it, he was shocked at how beautiful he had thought she was when he had first seen her. She was so...washed out looking. All of the color on her, just...grays and blues and ugh. What a boring drag...both of them were just...so hard to look at.

But, again...that wasn’t nice. Kaito wasn’t inclined to think stuff like that, it was mean. There was always something attractive about people. Always. 

...he just didn’t see it yet with those two.

Okay! Okay! Just be nice to her. You were scaring the shit out of her last time you both spoke, so…

Forcing a grin onto his face, because practicing the movement made it easier to act correctly, Kaito said through the door, “Hey! Yes, thank you so much! Um, just give me one...uhhh... “

Kaito looked around. Where was the other two pitchers...oh. Oops. “Um, one second!” He called out, concerned as he looked around for something to wipe the blood off the pitchers. Come on, come on, what did he have…

“Take your time!”

Waku could easily just wait, take the pitchers and go. But...like she told Miss Toujou, change started with a single action. So, while she waited outside the door, Waku took a breath and spoke. 

“Hey… I’m sorry about the other day. You do scare me, but...you’re really hurting. And if anyone knows that people can have scary reactions when they’re scared...heh. I just wanted to apologize and...even if you wanting to kill everyone freaks me out...if you’re willing to work on it, then I’m willing to work on me too. So… No hard feelings.”

She fiddled with her necklace, moving the charm back and forth on its chain. Kaito hadn’t done anything so… She had to be willing to work alongside him. Otherwise nothing would ever get better. It was okay to think bad things--it didn’t make you bad. If you could find your reasoning, find where it was flawed, then you could get help. Then you could help yourself. Then, your actions, which were what determined who you were, could really reflect who you were and what you were capable of. 

Kaito stared at the door for a moment…

‘Calm down. Take your breaths. Be mindful, think about how you’re feeling, choose how you’ll react, come on Kaito, I believe in you, you’re letting everyone down, you’re making everything worse, stop being stupid Kaito why can’t you lear-’

“I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING KILL EVERYONE!!” Kaito screamed, his blood boiling, punching the wall to his right (Kaito! Your hand! You’re going to break your knuckles!) and wincing at the impact, which just infuriated him more. Looking around, he grabbed the pitcher and, furious, threw it at the door, watching it shatter as he screamed, “Why does EVERYONE THINK I’M FIVE FUCKING SECONDS FROM MURDERING PEOPLE!?”

Ooooooh, dizzy...steady Kaito, steady. Sit down. 

Kaito sat down, putting a hand against his head (more blood? Oh. His knuckles. Right.) as the room spun for a moment...before glowering at the door. Hurt and heartbroken as he growled, “F-fuck you...I-I’m not a monster...fuck you.”

Waku yelped, already about to run away but… Trembling she steeled herself and walked back to the door, closing her eyes. “Maybe because you get angry and violent when you’re hurt!! That doesn’t make you a monster--it makes you a person who is scared and hurting! But you never do anything to stop being scared! To stop hurting! So you keep being angry and violent!”

She kicked the wall next to the door in frustration, trying not to run away in tears. You were helped by a scared boy once, Waku. Be that person for someone else. 

“Kokichi is the nicest person on the planet and you STILL wish you two had never met! So what is it?! What’s hurting you?! Let’s fucking solve it so you can stop looking at everyone like you wish they were in the ground!”

Kaito felt a shock of fear run through him as he said, “I-I don’t...I don’t wish I had never met Kokichi! Why would you…”

Kaito started pulling at his joints nervously, ignoring the pain in his knuckles. “You can’t...you don’t know me! You can’t say things like that...what if someone heard you? D-don’t…” Kaito looked around, where was his pants, where was his-there!

Throwing on his pants, he grabbed the other, still intact pitcher, wiping it off on his shirt, before heading to the door (ow, ow, Kaito, glass) and ignoring the sharp pain in his feet as he opened the door and handed the pitcher to the housekeeper, saying desperately, “Don’t say that to anyone else! I don’t regret coming here, okay!? I’m happy with Kokichi. That’s a dangerous rumor, don’t say that to anyone else, okay? A-agreed?”

Waku scrambled back a few steps as the door opened, still shaking with fear and panic though… “...so what if someone heard me? Why is that dangerous? If you’re upset, then tell someone! Nothing can be fixed if you’re insisting everything is okay. Especially Kokichi...you love him so much, but you have all these other confusing emotions too… He loves you too, you know? All he wants is you to be happy, but you’re just sabotaging yourself by pretending you already are.”

Carefully, she darted forward to take the empty pitcher before scrambling back out of arm’s reach, her round eyes glancing down to his bloodied feet. And his...bloodied everything. “...you’re standing in glass, Prince Kaito. You should go to the medical wing, or...should I get a healer for you?”

Kaito looked confused for a moment, before looking down at himself. “Oh! No, no, I have medical supplies, I’m okay. I’m…”

Kaito’s brow furrowed, literally standing on glass, dripping blood from his shoulders, the room spinning a little bit…

“...I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m okay…” Kaito started worrying his joints...before glaring at her. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Just...leave me alone.” he said, leaning over to pick up the new pitcher, and...struggling for a second to straighten back up, before taking a breath and finally managing it. There! See! Fine! He was fine! 

Grinning, proud of himself, he glanced over at Waku...and felt a rush of guilt at the sight of her. Staring down at the pitcher, he said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. I...I’m really fine. I’m going to just clean myself up and fix up my cuts and then I’m coming out, okay. And, when I come out, I’ll apologize to Kokichi for making him worry. Okay? It’s fine. Everything’s fine.” Kaito looked down at the pitcher of water, and nodded to himself. Believing it...before muttering, “Thanks for the water,” as he went back inside.

Waku just stared up at the prince in distress. Because...he believed that, and he didn’t. He was kind, yet cruel. Loving, and yet filled with so much hatred. 

Looking at the closed door, she made a small, worried sound before scampering off to drop off the pitcher, making a note to leave more supplies for a first aid kit with his dinner. ...she hated it when people said it about her...hated herself when she had believed it… But...no other word fit Prince Kaito more right now than ‘broken’. Something in pieces that didn’t fit together, and when someone tried to put the pieces together, he just screamed that he wasn’t broken at all and tried to cut them. 

She wasn’t giving up, not after just one attempt but...Waku really had no idea how to help the prince. It was like he was determined to crash and burn.

-

Dragging Tim along with her, essentially showing him how to go about asking for favors, Maki went to Katsuki first, and then the guards. Maki was...a little surprised, still, at how easily Katsuki agreed to dedicate a solid chunk of her watch to keeping an eye on the princes’ window...and then somehow found herself less surprised when Katsuki, in her strange, detached way of speaking, informed Maki she had been doing that every night already. So...that was sorted.

“How come we’re putting a watch on the princes?” Timothy asked as they moved on to the guards office.

“It’s for Uncle Saihara.” Maki explained. “To keep him safe.”

“From who?” Tim asked, feeling his shoulder tense. Wondering if he should also be keeping watch.

“Himself, mostly.” Maki said simply, to the confusion of her...son. Maki then explained, “Uncle Saihara is fighting an addiction that makes him make bad choices. Until we can be certain he’s able to manage himself, me, your…Prince Kaito-”

“My dad.” Timothy filled in.

“...sorry, yes...I’m sorry. I’m still getting used to that. Yes, me and your dad and Prince Kokichi-”

“Uncle Hajime thinks I should just call him Uncle Kokichi, since he got all squirmy when dad called him dad-in-law.”

“I...maybe. I’ll ask him about it...are you certain you’re okay with calling Prince Kaito your father? Dad, I mean? You….no one’s expecting you to just be okay with all these new, familiar titles. I know all of this was sudden.”

Timothy shrugged, looking un-bothered either way. “They’re just titles. Dad, mom, Mr, Miss, sir, ma’am… Miss Kawai says it’s easier if I just think of the new family titles as just variations of that. And anyway Cali says it’ll be easier for the other kids to understand what I mean if I go by the new titles. Miss Kawai thinks I’ll get teased less if I do it too.”

“...does she think you’ll be teased?”

Tim just shrugged again, looking tired. “I talk differently than other kids here. I thought it was just Cali, but I guess everyone talks like her. So...yeah. Maybe.”

“...you know you’re not allowed to cut Diceans, right? Even if they’re mean to you.”

“Yeah.”

“...but if they’re being very mean to you? And if anyone tries to hurt you? I won’t be angry at you if you cut one by accident.”

Timothy looked up in surprise...then smiled. “Okay, mom.”

Maki felt everything in her tense, staring at her young charge in shock for a second, for some reason...not at all prepared for him to call her that...but she relaxed. A weird, excited, pleased feeling settling warmly in her stomach as they got to the guards office.

The guards were a little trickier, arguing that they couldn’t change the whole watch pattern on a whim, and Maki almost found herself losing her temper on them before Lake walked in and, seeing her shadow in a borderline fight with her co-workers, intervened. Timothy watched as the guardsman spoke to her coworkers and heard out his mento-mom. There was some discussion, but eventually the guards agreed to add the hallway to their rotation shift, someone always there between the hours of ten at night to eight in the morning. Maki had bowed low in thanks (Timothy mimicking her, to some of the guards amusement) before going to inform Shuuichi and Kokichi that it was all settled.

Timothy watched Uncle Saihara hug his mother in thanks, and realized they had never explained to him exactly what they were meant to be doing with Uncle Saihara...but it looked like whatever his mother had done had been appreciated, because his uncle looked visibly relieved to see the guards had agreed.

Shuuichi, himself, felt relieved and excited to get to spend the night with Kokichi...and of course, about an hour before it was time, found himself overthinking it.

It was just sort of a vague feeling of anxiety. What if...Kokichi spent the night with him and decided he didn’t like it? What if he got bored with just Shuuichi there, and no Kaito to eventually break the silence or the promise of Maki coming to fetch him in a few hours? What if Kokichi had a whole night with Shuuichi to himself, and discovered that Shuuichi wasn’t...worth having around? 

He knew it was likely an irrational fear...but couldn’t work out to himself how it was irrational. It felt painfully possible to him.

Possible to the point of inevitable. 

So, after eating dinner and chilling out together for awhile, when Maki bid them a goodnight and left Shuuichi with Kokichi, Shuuichi looked down at his fingers instead of the room around them, feeling...weirdly out of place and uncertain what to do.

It wasn’t particularly late, but Kokichi was comfortable as he stretched, making a small sound of exertion before heading over to his closet. “I’m gonna change into some sleep clothes--I’ll have my back turned, so if Shuu-chan wants to change he can in peace, okay?” With Kaito, Kokichi had gotten into the habit of changing just as he moved around the room, dropping clothes wherever and just trying to remember to collect them into the hamper before he left for the office in the morning. He didn’t need laundry done every day, but he felt a little bad about anyone coming by to collect having to pick up after him. Not enough to stop doing it, but enough to make something of an effort to clean. 

However, Shuuichi was uncomfortable with people seeing him naked, so Kokichi stayed in one spot in their closet, changing into a loose short-sleeved shirt and long, soft pajama pants, deciding after a moment to put on some knee high socks, remembering Maki’s teasing warning.

“I’m not super tired or anything, so is there anything Shuu-chan wants to do together if he’s not tired either? We could read or play cards or draw or chill out and talk or cuddle or make out for a while…” Kokichi snickered as he rambled a little, giving Shuuichi plenty of time to change. 

Shuuichi took Kokichi’s cue and immediately started changing into the night clothes he had brought over...but even with Kokichi in the closet and his back turned, Shuuichi felt weirdly exposed in the wide room, looking to the bathroom when it got to the point of taking his shirt off. Feeling a little silly, he walked into the bathroom, avoiding his reflection as he took off his jacket and shirt, putting on a baggy shirt that was actually one of Kaito’s, gifted to him when Shuuichi started getting uncomfortable sleeping in Maki’s bed with his own, form fitting sleeping shirts. It was white, with little red swirls on it that looked like it was maybe originally intended to form some image, but the artist had stopped half-way through and left it at swirls. It was nice, but more importantly, Shuuichi felt comfortably hidden in it, and wearing his dark blue pajama bottoms too (and having a brief moment of wondering if he was wearing too much clothes and would Kokichi be disappointed he wasn’t wearing less when he knew Kaito basically just slept in his briefs every night?), he felt better to come out and see Kokichi was similarly dressed, even wearing long socks under his pants. 

Good. He wasn’t being, like...a prude or anything then.

(Ha! Him? A prude? That was kinda funny.)

Though Shuuichi’s face went a little red at the offer of making out, wondering if he should jump on that one...though he honestly felt himself more interested in- “I mean...I’d actually love to look at your drawings more, or, uh...draw together, I guess? I’m actually not terribly artistic myself, but it’d be fun watching what you draw come to life.” Shuuichi offered, moving to...well, hesitating for a moment, but, well, they were going to sleep, so, taking off his hat and putting it on the dresser.

Kokichi only stepped out of the closet after he heard the slight tap of the brim of Shuuichi’s hat being placed on the dresser, grinning at his adorable, ready-to-sleep boyfriend. Making a slight detour, Kokichi picked up his sketchbook and a couple pencils before hopping up on the bed. He moved some of the pillows around, fluffing them up to be comfortable to sit against, then doing so, patting the space next to him. 

“Wow, that’s a big ol’ lie, Shuu-chan. You are too artistic, even if you only started drawing for cases. You go further than just noting people’s features, so that’s art! I love your drawings, and I’d love to draw with you.” Kokichi gave Shuuichi a sweet smile, thumbing through his sketchbook a little before just handing it over to Shuuichi. “Um, you can look through it at your own pace, if you want. And…”

His cheeks went pink, his smile going bittersweet. “...I’ve been making little drawings for Kai-chan--I slide them under the door of his shrine. I don’t want to pressure him or anything so they’ve just been, like...cats. Chase. Some cool flowers. If you wanted, we could make something for him together?”

Shuuichi smiled at that, taking the sketchbook from Kokichi as he sat down in the offered spot, leaning against the pillows as he started thumbing through the book, “I’m sure he loves it. Sure, I could do that. Though, let me look through your stuff first, and then I’ll, I don’t know...I’ll draw something with him in mind.”

Shuuichi turned page after page, noting that this sketchbook was far more full and a little older than the one Kokichi had brought to the beach. Some of the drawings were little more than squiggles, ideas that Kokichi had clearly started and stopped without much thought given to it. Others, were intricately detailed and filled the page, literally no signs of the white paper that the page had originally started as. Some of them were unbearably cute and simple. Others clearly meant to be cool. Some…

The detective focused on one page, and said after awhile, “I like this one. I, uh, I mean I like all of them, but...I don’t know. This one is nice. Is there a story behind it?” He asked, showing Kokichi the picture he meant.

Kokichi settled on his side, enjoying watching Shuuichi look through his work. Kokichi had never been particularly shy about sharing his art but...he never really had many people to share it with. Some healers here and there over the years, asking to see what he was doing when he was too sick to do much, but could hold a pencil. Ikuo a lot in his childhood, drawing time a favorite “quiet” activity. But...well. The story of his life. 

Kokichi let out a sheepish laugh at the drawing Shuuichi pointed out, shifting a little closer to his boyfriend to indicate various things in the drawing. “Sort of? I don’t remember if it was you I told...but since I couldn’t leave the castle, I’d draw a lot of fantasy locations. Some more realistic, places I’d heard about and seen from atlases and stuff, others from fiction, and some just...from my imagination, you know?”

“This one… Like, people describe deep forests and the deep ocean kind of the same way. Full of undiscovered things, the temptation of curiosity drawing you away from the light of familiarity...all sorts of legends hiding in their depths. So...I wanted to try drawing a deep forest as if it was an ocean? Never having been to either…”

Kokichi laughed a little more, a little embarrassed but still pleased with the drawing, running a finger down the side of one of the darkened, thick trees, obscuring the silhouette of some giant, wood-dwelling creature, deer-like in its form but unfamiliar, little motes floating through the air, strange plants littering the forest floor and snaking their way up the tree trunks, hiding their blooms to catch unaware travelers by surprise. “I dunno. I think it was a cool exercise if nothing else.”

Shuuichi agreed, looking over it some more. He just sort of liked the...quiet? Of the picture. Just a space in the world that invited hush. Cautioned that the viewer should make themselves smaller, shouldn’t draw attention to themselves...but also should keep their eyes wide open. Take it all in. Don’t blink.

You’ll miss something amazing if you do.

It was a nice feeling from the image, and Shuuichi enjoyed it for a little while before quietly moving on, looking at more pictures. Some more landscapes, some little cartoon doodles put over otherwise intricate backgrounds. He was starting to notice a pattern in the art, Kokichi focusing on one thing or another for a couple pages worth of drawing before it bled into some new interest. Landscapes bled into cartoons again, little characters chatting to each other, telling little jokes, little loose comic formats, most without any paneling to speak of but easy enough to follow anyway. Shuuichi chuckled over some of them, pointing out ones he likes to Kokichi.

Then, he turned the page and the comics disappeared, and it was portraits. Many who he recognized now. A picture of Ikuo, from the perspective of someone looking up at him. Lake, a cape blowing dramatically behind her, her expression strangely serious. Waku, looking down curiously at a flower, light all around her. The strange man in the hood that had tried to comfort Shuuichi that day in the dining hall, smiling under the shadow of his hood. He turned the page and saw orange eyes stare back at him-

He closed the sketchbook.

He stared at the cover of the sketchbook for a moment, collecting himself...before saying, “Is it alright if I tear a blank page out of the very back of the book? For my drawing for Kaito, I mean?”

Kokichi hadn’t looked through this sketchbook in a long time. It was kind of amazing, remembering in an instant things he hadn’t thought about for years, somehow able to recall the exact mindset he was in while he made certain drawings, and others he didn’t remember at all, looking baffled at the creations done in his hand. And sharing it all with Shuuichi...it felt special. Intimate, yet casual. 

And when they got to the portraits… Kokichi smiled softly, enjoying the drawings that he hadn’t torn out to put up on his wall. Little moments he tried to capture, to preserve forever. Snapshots of the people in his life who--

“Ah…” 

He’d forgotten. And Kokichi hadn’t moved fast enough to skip that page, not before Shuuichi closed the book. He was quiet for a moment, not sure how to approach the subject but...Shuuichi moved on instead. Pressing his arm against his boyfriend’s, Kokichi nodded. “Go for it. If you turn the book over, it’s a pretty good surface for drawing on too.”

He shifted a little, handing Shuuichi a pencil before...softly murmuring an apology. It was a portrait he’d drawn years ago and he hadn’t remembered it was there but...he could sympathize with the pain it brought.

Shuuichi pretended not to hear the apology, just tearing out a blank page and turning over the sketchbook, trying not to think about it. It had just been a week. A bad week. A really bad week. It didn’t have to define him. He didn’t have to think about it. He...he wouldn’t have to go back to it. He wouldn’t have to be-

(“I’ll be your dog! I’ll be whatever you want me to be! Just please!!”)

-...

“Do you wanna go first?” Shuuichi eventually said, trying to pass the paper and pencil back. Realizing he was too lost in his head and had no idea what to draw down. “I don’t really have any ideas.” He confessed. 

Kokichi hummed softly, looking at the paper before he perked up with an idea. “Oh! Have you ever played the doodle game?”

Sitting up more, placing the pad and paper between them, Kokichi pointed to the two halves of the paper. “Okay, so you start by making some random scribble shape, and then we turn the paper around, and each person turns the other’s scribble into a drawing! The way I’ve heard it, is you can look at the scribble and find something in the shape to bring to life, or you can go in with an idea and force the bounds of the scribble into your idea, often making something cool and kind of abstract.”

“What do you think?!”

The golden-eyed boy smiled at his boyfriend’s excitement at the idea, and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good. But, when you mean scribble, do you mean, like...literally nothing but random lines or--?” 

Shuuichi quietly watched as Kokichi started first, giving him an idea what he was supposed to do, and after a moment Shuuichi started drawing on his side as well. He was really only practiced as basic profile pictures and outlines of crime-scenes, all of which were low on detail and simple with clean, clear edges. And he found himself drawing from that as he drew.

At first it was just a circle and a square, but as he drew, he realized immediately he was starting the bubbles of a person and the outlines of a room, seen from an angle from above. A mix of the two types of drawing he was actually practiced at. He thought of what the room could look like and dozens of crime scenes suddenly paraded through his mind: a bathroom where she had tried to kill a rival to her job, but he had managed to kill her back and then did a very, very poor job of covering up his muder of self defense. A library that had been weirdly set up to drop a heavy ball on the victim that his mentor had actually openly admired, before pointing out the odds of it actually working as intended had been a hundred to one. A road where a teenager had struggled to not weep over the ruined body of his older brother, who had pushed him out of the way of an attack that had been meant for him. 

That last one hadn’t been a mystery needing solving. Shuuichi and his mentor had been sent to make certain the attacker, a nobleman, wouldn’t actually be accused of a crime, the teenage boy being pressured and convinced by his mentor to collaborate with the official story of a carriage accident. Shuuichi had seen the teenager years later in the Luminary party, shockingly enough, working as a soldier for the military. If the once-teenager had recognized him, he never showed it, and Shuuichi had been careful not to acknowledge him either.

Some hurts, some injustices...there was nothing you could do but ignore them and try not to let the hurt ruin you. That was the only way forward, even when the child of the woman who had convinced you to cover up your brother’s murder was right in front of you for months. Shuuichi understood. He had understood then. He understood even better now. 

...it had just been one bad week.

By the time Kokichi called “Time!” Shuuichi had mostly just focused on the background, leaving the circles of the person without any detail. The room was the observatory upstairs. He wasn't sure why he had settled on that. He had just been drawing and thinking of other things, and that was what had come out. A vague image of the observatory.

Kokichi had tried to stay away from the habit of just doodling infinity symbols over and over, but he could spot one or two in the organic mess of lines. Maybe Shuuichi would use them to make eyes for a person or something.

Turning the paper over, he looked over the doodle Shuuichi made with fondness. It...sort of looked like the observatory? That would be a nice scene to make for Kaito. Giving Shuuichi a smile, he nodded down at their doodles. “Alright! Now we turn these bones into a drawing! Anything you see or feel like doing.”

Kokichi could just finish the sketch of the observatory...but he could put a little more into it. He started by making the room more obvious, but then… Kaito was the biggest figure, closest to the top, reaching to where the telescope poked through the ceiling. Or, rather...dangling from there. Scooping up stars in his hand and bringing them down, scattering them in the room. Down below where Kokichi excitedly waved his hands in the stardust, making it swirl and light up the room, while Shuuichi cupped a star in his palms, fascinated with what he was holding, learning as much as he could to share that wonderful knowledge with the rest.

Gradually, Kokichi leaned farther and farther down towards the paper, working on even the smallest little details, the ripple of Kaito’s jacket as he brought the stars to earth, the little glimmers of the wires holding up star charts, delicate and fine. As time went on, his nose was nearly touching the page. 

Shuuichi looked over Kokichi’s literal wild scrawl of squiggles, not quite sure what to do with it. He wasn’t particularly creative, and it took him a while to start, looking for a pattern in all of it before finally seeing something, putting lead to page.

Following Kokichi’s swirls, he started making more swirles, creating...shading, he supposed. As he darkened some areas with more and more swirls, he once again found himself drawing what he knew, shading a figuring out of the swirls, a slightly turned face, wide, curious, tired eyes looking back at the image on the other end of the page, like it was startled by whatever was happening there. The eyes were slightly too large and slightly too wide, and Shuuichi glanced to his fellow artist for a moment before creating more swirls.

The next batch of tight swirls created, or, suggested anyway, hair, thin locks that turned upwards at the end, and ended in sharp little points. Even at the sharp points, Shuuichi kept the small, spinning motion, just making the spins smaller and smaller until they suggested a point. Then, glancing at Kokichi’s drawing, he smiled slightly, before working stars, in that same swirling, spinning style, into the background, like maybe the image of Kaito had spilled stars onto his side of the page, and they had blown over onto the side of the page with Kokichi, who looked, well...like by some stretch of the imagination like he was made of the fallen stars? It hadn’t been what Shuuichi had intended, but now that the idea was in his head, he went back to the tight swirls that made Kokichi’s portrait, and added in some that could arguably be stars. 

A swirling, abstract Kokichi, made of stars, looking back at Kaito and Shuuichi and--shoot, Kokichi had just drawn himself into the page. Ah well, Shuuichi had already started his portrait before he had been added. It was alright-- like he was a little curious of them, a little surprised.

It wasn’t perfect, and in comparison to what Kokichi managed to draw out of his original side, not even particularly nice looking, but it was what Shuuichi could manage at his level of skill. By the time he was done, he was satisfied enough with it, and laughed at the image in its entirety.

“It’s nice.” Shuuichi observed, snorting slightly at the image of himself, “That’s a very generous depiction of me.” He noted, the Shuuichi on the page looking very, very pretty. Definitely not what he saw in the mirror. “Kaito looks really good though. I like the addition of the jacket he wears sometimes. I wish he’d wear that more often. It suits him.”

Kokichi startled a little, having gotten absorbed in the drawing, though he wasn’t as taken off guard as the time Kaito had snuck up on him at the beach. Looking up with a sheepish giggle, Kokichi took a look at their combined creation and…

“Aw geez…” Kokichi’s cheeks went pink, flattered that Shuuichi had chosen to draw him, and in such a cool style, too! Though, once he composed himself, he gave Shuuichi a wide grin. “Cool, right? And if I’m honest, I wasn’t generous enough--drawing Shuu-chan in such a small scale doesn’t give me much room to really get down how gorgeous he is.” He gave Shuuichi a little wink before nodding at his next comment.

“Yeah. I just picked out that jacket since it, yanno, has a space pattern on the lining? And it’s thick enough to be a fall jacket, and I wanted to make sure Kai-chan had something like that. I had no idea he’d like it so much, or that he’d look so great in it? Kai-chan is great at picking out clothes, but that jacket really seems like it fits him to a T.”

Looking over the drawing again, Kokichi couldn’t help the return of warmth to his cheeks and he leaned over to gently nudge his head against Shuuichi’s shoulder. “Gaaaah… I can’t get over how pretty you drew me, honey pie. Made of stars...you know how to flatter a guy. I’m hopin’ that Kai-chan keeps all these--it’d be nice to see this one again.” At the bottom of the page, in a gap between the drawings, Kokichi left the message he always did, signing his initial before angling the page for Shuuichi to leave his mark. 

Shuuichi smiled at the message, and tried to think of one to leave himself, but...hmmm…

He thought about it for a beat too long, before just writing ‘Miss you.’ and then his initials. S.S. It felt both too simple and yet overly demanding, and he immediately regretted writing it, but, well...there it was. Nothing to do about it now. 

“He had posters taped up in there last time I was in his shrine. I bet he still has tape in there from that. Bet you anything he’s been taping your drawings to the wall. Maybe you’ll get to see it the next Pudicitiam. Or I could just steal it from him next time I’m in there. Do some boyfriend espionage for you.” Shuuichi offered, still fondly looking over Kokichi’s side of the drawing...before saying. “I’m sorry he’s doing this now. I know it’s not my fault, but...I kinda feel like if I had been in better form, I could have probably gotten him more level-headed before it de-evolved to this.” 

“And...honestly? I think we’re all kinda on the verge of breakdowns, and I’m...a little surprised it wasn’t you first.” Shuuichi admitted, looking over at Kokichi, eyes full of sympathy as he said, “You seem fine but...it’s kinda hard to believe you are. I wouldn’t be fine, after what you went through.”

Kokichi giggled a bit at the mental image of Shuuichi sneaking into Kaito’s shrine to steal the drawings that Kokichi only made in the hopes of cheering his husband up, but… He shook his head a little. “...I kind of wish he had done this earlier, if he needed to.”

Sitting back against the pillows, Kokichi brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “He told me that he felt like...his family just sort of shoved him here. He’s told me how he doesn’t understand how Dicea works. I’m not expecting him, or any of you, to just...like, assimilate, but...I don’t know how to help make things better. I don’t understand what Luminary was like for him so...if he never tells me what’s wrong, I can’t help. And if it’s something I can’t help, and he just needs...to vent? I still wish he would...I wish it hadn’t built up this much…”

Kokichi paused after that for a bit, hugging himself tighter. “...I’m not fine. Kai-chan’s helped me through...some other stuff. And…” He closed his eyes, voice going extremely soft. “...I was really happy when it seemed like you wanted to sleep with me? Because I love Shuu-chan, of course, but… I know the nightmares will go away eventually… But they haven’t yet. And...it’s easier when there’s someone next to me…”

Shuuichi watched Kokichi carefully, listening, before putting the drawing aside on the nightstand. He then scooted over to Kokichi, drawing him into a hug, encouraging him to lean on him as he leaned back on the headboard and pillows.

“...what do you dream about?” Shuuichi asked. Arms around him.

Kokichi easily relaxed against Shuuichi, tucking his forehead against Shuuichi’s neck, listening to his heartbeat. “...screams.”

“...I only ever heard Aba’s. At least...i-it’s better to go fast, isn’t it? The family...they didn’t make a sound… But in my dreams...they all scream. I think it might be other people’s screams...I don’t know. I don’t remember enough when I wake up. I don’t know if it would be worse if I could place whose they are…”

Kokichi took a deep breath, taking in Shuuichi’s scent. Mostly just like soap...but with a certain freshness. “...Maki-chan and I have talked about it. I know I’m not okay...and I know I don’t have to be. People would understand if I had...I dunno. A big freak out. But it doesn’t feel like something like that is in me right now. There’s...just so much to do. So I just try to do it. Makes it easier to find happy moments. I don’t know if I just need to freak out or...if this is just a sadness that’s gonna be in me for a long, long time…”

Silent, huh?

Yeah, that tracked.

Shuuichi, when he was fifteen, had sat down with Maki, poured her a shot of whiskey that neither of them should have been drinking by that point in their lives, and asked her to tell him about people's behavior when they were about to die. 

He had been trying to establish patterns for crime scenes. Trying to work out when testimonies were false or crime scenes had been altered, based on common patterns of human behavior. He had read plenty on the subject, and had his mentor’s stories, but one day it had occurred to him that if anyone really knew, it was Maki. And it had taken several months after that to get the courage to ask her.

She had downed a shot, and then asked for another, and then told him all about it.

Fight and flight? That was a misnomer. There was a third option, and it was more common than either fight or flight combined. 

Freeze.

Most people, in the face of true fear? Of total panic? Did nothing. Even if the fear and panic lasted a while, it still never occurred to them to run, or to fight. Neither retreat nor action to save themselves. Just...they just stood there. Watching their fate hit them like a wrecking ball, unable to think. To react in any way at all. They didn’t scream. If they made a sound at all, Maki had told him, it was quiet pleas. Like they were afraid of catching her attention, even if she was staring right at them. Convinced if they were small enough, quiet enough...that somehow the danger would pass by them.

It was rare, for someone to run from her, Maki had told him. Even rarer for someone to fight back. With the exceptions of those moments (she had said, down her fourth shot and laughing, a weird, desperate sound that hadn’t suited her at all and made Shuuichi put the whiskey bottle away) being an assassin? Incredibly easy. People just...let you kill them.

Not that there was any benefit to saying any of this. It had been information that had helped Shuuichi with his cases, but Kokichi? …

“Maybe it’s okay, if you don’t freak out? Maybe it’s okay to just...move on?” Shuuichi said, not really sure if that was true or not. “I don’t know...everyone goes through trauma differently, right? I don’t know...know, actually, I do know. Your form of grief isn’t...wrong, you know? If it works for you? Then that’s a good thing. I just…” Shuuichi laughed sort of sadly to himself, “I just don’t want you to suddenly lock yourself away in a room and not come out for a few weeks, I guess. I guess I just hope you’re not totally suppressing yourself from...whatever it is you need. Or, if you need anything from us, or, uh...me? I hope you know you can ask...”

Kokichi nodded slowly, rubbing his cheek against Shuuichi’s collarbone. There were times he wanted to lock himself away but...well. None of his doors had locks. But he’d find a dark corner anyway and sit himself in it, hugging anything he could find and crying until he fell asleep. And then he had to get up and move on with life again. 

He was lucky that nothing would collapse when he got too sick to move, but...when he could? It was just...selfish to spend the time he could do things just hiding and moping. If he needed to hide, Kokichi much rather preferred to do it while making things better for other people. 

“...this is nice,” he murmured, letting go of his legs to gently hug Shuuichi. “I think...having someone to sleep with helps. Just...so I’m not alone. I haven’t been sleeping much, you know?” Kokichi smiled joylessly. “I’m sure you’ve heard all about how sometimes I’ll just go for ages without sleep. When Kai-chan moved in, suddenly...bed felt like a good place to be. Even when I was sick. Just having someone to hold...being able to listen to them breathe when I wake up in the middle of the night… I really like it.”

“So...if you don’t hate it, would Shuu-chan spend his nights with me? I think...that’s one of the biggest things I want.”

He had heard about it. Or, rather, read about it in Kokichi medical files. One of the healers had pitched ‘Insomniac’ among Kokichi’s laundry list of medical issues, but two other healers had argued against the symptom, arguing it was impossible to call him an insomniac when so much of his illness compelled him to sleep so often. It had eventually been left as a big question mark in his file. Sounded like the healer might have had a point.

“Sure, if you want me to,” Shuuichi agreed, though personally, he was relieved his presence would do some good for Kokichi in some way. Again, he had just been...was still kinda worried that spending some real one on one time with Shuuichi would open Kokichi’s eyes to what a trainwreck his boyfriend was, even outside of, well...everything. 

But, if Kokichi just needed a warm, comforting presence to stave off the night terrors? Shuuichi was happy to volunteer.

“...I apologize if your nightmares suddenly have a bunch of people kicking you in them. I guess I kick in my sleep? I had no idea until Maki told me. I’ll just be sorry in advance, and you can wake me up if it gets, like, aggressive or something.” Shuuichi offered, kissing Kokichi gently through his hair.

Then, maybe...feeling a little bold, Shuuichi put his hand gently beneath Kokichi’s chin and guided his face up, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. “I love you Kokichi. I’ll always...well, I always try to be here for you if you need me.” He promised.

“Mm. Even when Kai-chan comes out of his shrine, I’ll still be happy to sleep with Shuu-chan too. I’ll just get double the cuddle buddies then, though I have a feeling we’d switch up who gets the middle like every night.” Kokichi managed a soft laugh with a little more life in it, giving Shuuichi a light squeeze.

He smiled into the kiss too, pleased that Shuuichi had initiated it, and Kokichi couldn’t help leaning up for one more taste, not driving it any deeper, but thoroughly enjoying the feeling of Shuuichi’s lips against his. “I love you too, Shuu-chan. And I’ll always try to be here for you too. By your side is where I’ve chosen to be, and seeing you smile gives me one too. I hope I can always make progress in helping Shuu-chan be safe and happy.”

Shuuichi sighed, holding Kokichi closer...before asking, “What’s one of your favorite memories?”

He blushed, the words coming out of him before he could actually analyze it, and he felt a little silly once he had said them. It was so...out of nowhere and a little melodramatic but… “You and I talk about a lot of sad memories, so far. I’d really love to hear a happy one. If you have any you’d want to share?”

Kokichi looked up at Shuuichi in slight confusion before he placed a kiss to the pink in Shuuichi’s cheek, humming softly. “It’s kind of nice, being able to commiserate with someone. But there’s a lot more to a person than sad memories…”

“Mmm… So, there’s this festival we have in the middle of summer--Zenith. Mostly in the same vein of all our other major holidays, but sometimes Zenith lands on my birthday. It feels kind of egotistical, but especially when I was younger, I liked to pretend like the festival was for me.”

He laughed softly, snuggling more against Shuuichi, gleefully stealing his warmth like it was a sunny day in mid-summer. “One year, instead of getting me all dressed up and proper for an appearance, my dad let me dress however I wanted and... kind of skip the festival? But not totally? We just had breakfast and then he took me into town before Aiichi would do the whole ‘hey it’s Zenith, have a good time everyone, let’s appreciate another season of life’ speech thing. And we just...walked around. Or, really, Ikuo had me sit on his shoulders while he walked around.”

“I got to go to one of the finger painting stalls and we saw a lot of cool fish that the aquarium had brought out in travel tanks to teach people, and, god, we ate so much fruit… Because there’s so much in season, there’s always a big table covered in ice with fruit slices on top, so you can get a refreshing treat. Then, during the evening, my dad took me to the hill between the castle and the park and we watched the fireworks together, and he gave me that stuffed rabbit plushie--oh, uh, this one.”

With a bit of a sheepish laugh, Kokichi nudged the stuffed friend out from under some of the pillows, the bunny out of the closet since he’d asked Maki for it. “It was probably one of the best birthdays I’d ever had.”

Shuuichi considered Smug Rabbit (Kaito had gotten into his head), before reaching out to touch one of its ears.

“...by dad, you mean Ikuo?” He asked. He had gotten that sort of father figure impression before, from the way Kokichi talked about him, but it was still curious to hear him straight up call the nanny ‘dad’. He wondered if he had done it as a small child as well, or if it was something Kokichi had adopted later in life, to spite his father. 

Kokichi stiffened a bit. Since Maki had questioned him about the same thing, he’d been careful not to slip up around her but...he’d just been so comfortable around Shuuichi that he just...forgot that he’d never talked about it with his boyfriend.

“...um...yeah…”

Shuuichi looked curiously at him, surprised at the hesitation. “...is it a secret?”

Kokichi opened his mouth, then closed it. Made a difficult face before, “Sort...of?”

“I… We were always careful not to call each other anything too familiar around other people, when I was growing up. I think...people might’ve accused Ikuo of trying to steal me, was the reasoning. But...some people can just be...difficult.”

Kokichi idly played with his fingers, bringing his rabbit closer, holding it to his chest. “Aiichi is my father, but...Ikuo is ten times more the dad than Aiichi ever was. So...he’s my dad. The person who raised me. It probably wouldn’t matter much now much...I dunno. It just feels like…”

His brows drew in, a worried expression pinching Kokichi’s face. “...it just feels like if I say something to the wrong person...he’ll get taken away from me again. And...it doesn’t really matter but...like they’ll make fun of me? There was too much other stuff to think about at the time, but that bastard Tengan sure was a smarmy dick about it…”

“Yeah...the head secretary...he was always pretty good at picking up on people's insecurities...I was lucky. Wasn’t his type,” Shuuichi acknowledged, grateful that despite how much power the old man had had over him growing up, that Tengan had never seemed particularly interested in using it, beyond the rare odd uncomfortable conversation. “...I’m sorry we didn’t do more to protect you from him, while we were here. I want to say that it would have never occurred to me he’d target you, but...I just wasn’t thinking about you like that back then. I wish I had been. Maybe I could have at least provided you with ammo to use against him.” Shuuichi sighed.

“...I mean...it’s not something worthy of being made fun of, the love of a mentor. It’s important to people, ya know? To have an adult in your life who loves you and is looking out for you…” Shuuichi reassured, resting his head against Kokichi. “I don’t think there’s anything to be made fun of there.”

He noted some interesting wording, and after a moment asked, “...taken away from you? Did Ikuo not volunteer to leave for the war?”

Kokichi closed his eyes and just breathed, keeping close to Shuuichi. The important thing was...he was never going to see the cruel old man again. For all of Byakuya’s horrible decisions, according to Kaito he hated the head secretary too, so...hopefully, he’d never have power over another person again. Chisa too. 

(The dreams had gone by the wayside, but it was ever-present in Kokichi’s fear of talking about his love life. That sick glee of other people meddling. His hot shame and embarrassment of that night.)

“...I...well, I just said I did, but I also don’t think people would? It’s just...something in my head that makes me change what I say…” Kokichi let out a deep sigh before...oh. Another sigh. “No. He volunteered. He volunteered and stayed so long specifically because he chose to, to protect me. It just...still feels like the war took him away.”

Like it’d taken so many others. 

“We had a big fight about it right before he left...but even talking it out now, it still feels that way.” Another sigh. Kokichi curled his legs, pressing right against Shuuichi. “...I know it’s not very fair to think, since so many people have gone through it too and some don’t have the luxury of reuniting now, but...my dad didn’t get to see me grow up. Because of war, the person closest to me had to leave, and I just...felt so alone for so long, even with everyone in the castle… I can’t even imagine how much worse it was for people in smaller towns...the people that left leaving so much more of a bigger hole…”

“...I’m not sure if comparing your situation to some theoretical small town kid is...entirely fair to you…” Shuuichi said, sighing a little. Why did all of his friends always want to, just...shoulder everything on themselves? Like, was this a character trait he was attracted to, or just some annoying quirk that he kept running into over and over again?

His own selfishness might make him feel guilty every now and again, but man...at least he knew his place in the world. There was peace, in being small and helpless and knowing it. He wished Kokichi, Kaito, and Maki could find it someday.

“...your world was very small. Incredibly small. Everything I’ve read, heard, and know about you...you had almost no one in your world. Any loss was monumental. And...losing the one parental figure in your life that was actually willing to parent you?”

“...I know this is a shitty thing to say, because I’m not a psychiatrist or...anything really. But...I think Ikuo should have stayed, if he wanted to help you,” Shuuichi admitted, staring at the far wall. “Lots of people were going to the war. Only one person was raising you. And...when he left, it sorta seems like you just...stopped growing.”

Kokichi frowned a bit. ...no one had ever…’taken his side’ so to speak, when it came to Ikuo. And after he’d read that letter...he’d understood. It just… He had the ability to fight, so he did. He wanted to ensure with his own hands that Kokichi would be safe. Everyone who left for the war had things going on in their own lives. Friends and family, careers and inventions...but they saw the need to protect all that, and did. It...wasn’t fair to single any one of them out just because he knew them. Because then everyone would single out the loved one that had left and...and then there would be no one to fight…

However…

“...I really wanted him to stay… Even if it’s not good enough to always assume there’s someone else to take your place...I needed him…” Kokichi curled up a little more, his eyes burning a bit. Before he looked over, giving Shuuichi a questioning look. “...what do you mean, though? I know I’m short, but I didn’t stop growing until I was twelve, I’ll have you know.” Kokichi attempted a half-smile, though he knew it...wasn’t really a joking matter.

Shuuichi sort of wanted to drop the subject. They were having a nice night, and he didn’t want to upset Kokichi...could still remember the day on the stairwell where his face had changed, twisting in fury while Shuuichi had done one of his ‘info-dumps’, filling Shuuichi with nervous fear…

...but Kokichi hadn’t done anything like that since then, so…

Sighing, he reached over and took Kokichi’s hands in his, interlocking his fingers through the small prince’s as he smiled at him softly. “...no, I don’t mean like that. You know that, Kokichi.”

Shuuichi closed his eyes, thinking about it. 

(Kokichi - ten years= new equations? No...maybe? Insufficient evidence. Patterns suggest no though...patterns consist of--)

“I feel like...every personality trait you have? Every problem you have...it could arguably all be traced back to your childhood. I don’t know, it sort of seems like once you hit ten you--” Shuuichi glanced at Smug Rabbit, “--...maybe just never had to change? Your environment never changed, your problems never changed, and everyone in your life had no real motivation to help you change so... You just never had to change. So you didn’t.”

“Never changed your coping mechanisms, never developed your problem solving skills...never had to get any older...at least in your actions,” Shuuichi observed...before sighing. “Or, at least that’s what it seems like sometimes.”

Kokichi smiled a bit as Shuuichi took his hands, happily fitting his fingers in the spaces between Shuuichi’s. But as he listened...the smile faded, and Kokichi was quiet for a long moment. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t think he was childish. He absolutely was. In so many ways, adulthood hadn’t felt real--there was just...the days he was tutored, giving way to the days he worked. No one had ever...treated him any differently, not that he could ever tell. 

But...was he just...not an adult at all? That didn’t feel right either… When Kaito had mistaken him for a kid, it had just...seemed funny. Absurd. Because he wasn’t a child. But...if he was the only person that thought that way…

Kokichi’s shoulders drew in a bit. He didn’t let go of Shuuichi’s hands, but he didn’t turn to face him either. His voice was...almost scared. “...do I really seem like a kid to you? You agreed to date me so I…”

Shuuichi’s brow furrowed. “What? I mean...you have child-based personality traits. That doesn’t make you a child. It just makes you an adult with...well, child-based personality traits. And...honestly? Every actual conflict I’ve personally seen you get in has made me recognize you as an adult. That’s maybe why there’s such a disconnect for me, from the two versions of you I’ve seen.” 

“The very first thing I...no, the very first two things I ever saw you do was stand and be strong in the presence of a hugely important political event which, looking back at it, had probably been actively filling you with despair for reasons beyond all the, well, normal reasons an event like that should have been terrifying and overwhelming. And the second thing I ever saw you do?”

Shuuichi’s eyes widened a little, something mildly awestruck in the memory as he said, “You stared down an enemy beserker with a sword who was determined to cut you down...it was amazing.”

“...and then...then I got to know you? And it was so strange. Such a disconnect from my first impression. This strong, intelligent, unphasable prince-like figure...was suddenly so different. Bouncy and twirly and giggly and...childlike.”

“But no matter how much of a child you acted like, I’ve never really gotten over my first impression of you,” Shuuichi admitted, before smiling softly at him. “I like both versions. You’re...incredibly sweet. And kind. And fun. Adorable, honestly. I love you, and I mean it. I love every version of you,” Shuuichi promised, kissing him on the forehead. 

“But, for me? The real Kokichi will always be that man in the ceremonial outfit, standing strong and incredibly intelligent and furious in front of very real, mortal danger, steadfastly protecting his kingdom…” Shuuichi said, looking down at Kokichi, seeing him now….almost always seeing that version of him, in his head, “...and because that’s who I picture when I think of you, sometimes when you act really young, I maybe get more caught off guard than most people would. I think maybe it’s made me think of it more than, say, Kaito would. How young you act, when there’s no emergency in front of you.”

Immediately Kokichi was able to relax. Not just because of...really, how fucked up that would be, but also...just hearing how Shuuichi thought of him. It was...comforting. The kind of impression he’d left on Shuuichi from the moments he had to be unyielding. Though…

Kokichi huffed a quiet, relieved laugh, bringing Shuuichi’s hands in to place kisses on his wrists. “I feel like none of those qualities are really at odds with each other...and even if they were, people are full of contradictions. It’s what makes them interesting. Full of every kind of potential. But...I’m glad you like all the versions of me.”

This was...it could get dangerous, but Kokichi wanted to say it. So, kissing Shuuichi’s hands again, he murmured, “I like all the versions of Shuu-chan I’ve seen so far too. And before you freeze and try to refute it…” He glanced up with a kind playfulness. “Even when you had a parasite almost winning the battle of changing who you were? Even then, Shuu-chan was a kind person, thinking of his friends. I’ve told you before...I really love you. To me, that means I include the anger and frustration and selfishness and apathy and sorrow...it means I care about all the little contradictory pieces that make up Shuuichi.”

Shuuichi frowned at that. Looking away from Kokichi. Shame filling him.

He...he didn’t like those sides of himself.

Hated who he had been on the pollen...hated him...

“...I feel like you’re maybe a little biased in my favor, but okay…” Shuuichi murmured. “And...I tried really hard to not show you the worst sides of that. I wasn’t...it wasn’t good, Kokichi...I wasn’t good. I was...gross and ugly and...stupid, I was really, really stupid...I’d do almost...almost anything to never go back to it…”

...Shuuichi sadly chuckled. “And yet, every single morning, I’m so excited for my dose, and every time I take it now, I’m so disappointed…”

Shuuichi sighed...before clutching Kokichi tighter. Realizing he had gotten off topic, just...wanting to be there for Kokichi right now as he assured, “I love you. I love the parts of you that scare me, I love the parts of you that make me worry about you. It’s… You’re like Maki and Kaito to me. They’re both such flawed, flawed people...but I love them. The good things, the bad things...and I love you too, now. So...please don’t think those concerns mean I don’t. I promise I do.”

“I am biased,” Kokichi admitted, “And there were things you did that I didn’t like. That made me feel sick. But that never meant that I ever stopped caring about you, both because I knew who you were before, at least a little, and because of those parts that showed through even when you were cruel and screaming and trying so hard to get us to hate you…”

“In some ways...knowing that those are things you hate most of all makes me love you even more…”

Shuuichi had his own baggage with the pollen, and that wasn’t even touching the huge crate with Nao’s name on the side. But even all that, Kokichi chose to care about. To give Shuuichi a hand with all that baggage and...maybe it’d get lighter. Maybe it wouldn’t. But it would be easier to carry with more people helping. 

Kokichi closed his eyes, but not because he couldn’t face the world like before. It was because, for a moment, he was just...so overwhelmed. And the rush of air that came out of him before he spoke exposed him before his glittering eyes opened back up to gaze at his boyfriend. “...that’s too high of a compliment, you know?”

Almost sniffling a little, Kokichi shifted, holding Shuuichi tighter before he gently kissed him, letting the touch linger. Giggling softly before pressing his lips once more. “I believe you...and when my brain starts being bad, I’ll try to hold those words close, alright? And every time Shuu-chan starts to doubt, I’ll hope he listens when I say again and again that I love him. I love you, and while I don’t really have a good comparison...I’m dedicated to you. And I don’t make oaths like that lightly.”

Shuuichi considered his boyfriend...before smiling softly, kissing him once again chastely on the lips. 

“I believe you.”

-

Tom was sitting against the door, staring at the room quietly. Dispassionately. Considering what he had available to him.

A bed with all the trimmings. Pillow, covers, sheets, the works.

Bed frame. Wooden. Thick.

Desk. Wooden. Thin.

Chair. Small. Wooden. Thin.

A small, separate bathroom. No door on it, but built in such a way that you couldn’t see in it from the window on the door, and not see in it for a bit walking into the small room. A small level of privacy.

...alright.

Raising his arm, he started banging on the door from behind, just thumping it over and over again. It didn’t take long, and he heard a key go into the lock, and smiling lightly to himself, he stood up, backing away from the door, the guard peering in from the window to see him. 

Holding up both hands, palm out, and keeping his legs slightly wide to show no weapons, before putting his hands behind his head and facing the wall, which was protocol whenever a guard entered the room, Tom waited patiently for the guard to open the door, look around for danger...and then said, “At ease, Tom.” giving Tom permission to relax his pose and back away from the wall if he wanted too. Tom did so, spinning around in place, shooting the guard a friendly smile as the man said, “What’s the issue? Lights out is in twenty minutes, you know.”

Tom nodded, looking a little sheepish. “Yeah, I know...do you all have an ice machine? Can I get a bowl of ice to chew on tonight?”

The guard raised an eyebrow. “Ice?”

Tom smiled wide, nodding his head enthusiastically. “It helps with night terrors! And, ya know...I’ve been too embarrassed to ask for it before, but it really would help me sleep at night to have ice cubes available to chew on whenever another nightmare wakes me up.” He admitted, blushing slightly. “If...if that’s okay for me to have?”

The guard gave Tom a wary look. The prison, as a rule, tried not to withhold anything from the prisoners that would benefit their physical or mental wellbeing, so long as there was no reasonable suspicion that their requests couldn’t or didn’t desire to be used to harm themselves or others. Guards were allowed to withhold things if they felt they had reasonable suspicions that a prisoner had a rebellious goal in the items use, encouraged to use their best judgment and write up a report as to why they withheld the item for accountability purposes should the prisoner claim abuse later, but Tom…

The guy had literally only been awake for the last couple of days. And, even knowing everything he did...his mannerisms screamed ‘odd’ sure, but not killer. Awkward and silly, sort of immature...and, if anything, knowing his actual age was sixteen? 

He really did just act like, well...a teenager. A little unreasonably smug, a little clumsy in his mannerisms and speech, seemingly randomly annoyed and randomly cheerful, and not having a clear idea of how to express either of those feelings in a way that didn’t come across as overly practiced or mildly unsettling…

It was hard not to see his age, once you knew it.

So, the guardsman knew he was biased towards wanting to help the kid (serial killer. He had to remember that. The ‘kid’ was an unapologetic serial killer), which made him more cautious then he otherwise might have been for such a simple request.

...but, it was, well...just ice.

About five minutes later, in a small, wooden bowl, was a few handfuls worth of ice, and Tom smiled brightly at the guardsman as he said, “Thank you so much! Goodnight~!”

Then Tom went to sit on his bed, and waited for lights out.

He wasn’t nervous until he was in the dark, for...reasons that were obvious to anyone who actually knew anything about him. But the men in the dark hadn’t come back since he had woken up, so...he waited for his eyes to adjust to the small light that came in from the red lights of the hallway, finally able to see his cell again.

Bed. Desk. Chair. Bathroom. 

Ice.

...alright. 

This was going to be...hard.

As Tom took the small wooden chair and, carefully, put it on its side and took on of the legs, pulling the leg up slowly and as quietly as possible, hearing the wood start to shatter as the leg came loose, he felt the edges and, in an attempt to make a somewhat rough enough edge anyway, took the chair leg to the edge of the desk and started digging the edge of the desk into the middle of the wood, trying to shatter the wood in a way that it would create a point, Tom reminded himself that he loved Itch. His brother had been the only good thing in his life, his whole life. The one good thing. All the other nice things he had had, once? Freedom, Aba’s friendship, adventure, the hunt...all of it had come because Itch had brought those things to him. Had worked to make Tom’s life better. Had refused to abandon him.

Getting his point, he reminded himself he loved Itch very much, and went to get the sheets from his bed. 

Using the point of the wooden stick, Tom created ten little cuts on the edge of the sheet, before using those starting points to tear the sheet into thin, long ribbons. As he worked, he nervously hummed to himself, before finally whispering the song to himself, “...haven't slept, heave ho, he said, in many suns and moons...oh I will sleep when we reach shore, and pray we get there soon…” 

A sea shanty that he had heard a woman sing in Danganronpa, eyes full of tears and murmuring the song drunkenly to herself in a way that had made Tom watch her, fascinated, wondering what it felt like to feel anything that much…

And now? Maybe he understood, as, chuckling to himself, he murmured, “...and tied me up with sheets…”, one by one he tied the stripped sheet ribbons to the middle joints of his fingers, pulling each of them so tightly that his fingertips immediately started to buzz with the warning cry that he was losing blood-flow to them, and then he tightened them further still, until even that small, itching feeling in his fingertips started to numb into a swollen, painful ache.

That part done, he took the wooden, splintered chair leg, and as short as he could make it, broke it again. Reforming it into a wedge.

Tom left the wedge by the bed, glancing at the door to see if anyone was peeking inside. Nothing yet. Good. He was being quiet enough. Taking the bowl of ice into the bathroom, so that none of the guards could peek in and see what he was doing, he thrust his fingers into the ice, deciding to do one hand at a time, and weakly sang to himself.

“...he said now, hush love, here’s your gown. There’s the bed,” Tom chuckled to himself, looking over at the bed frame. Wooden. Thick. “Lanterns down….”

He loved Itch. It was the only thing that mattered. He didn’t matter. He had been content to die alongside Itch. Had taken a real comfort in the idea. Life had been pointless and he hadn’t felt any real need to cherish it. Didn’t believe in the teachings of the death cult, but did agree with Itch that the world was a terrible place, only made more terrible by Tom itself being in it. His death would be a relief for...literally everyone, and that was including himself, and included Itch.

And he knew his brother felt the same way.

But to know his brother was going to die, alone? Surrounded by enemies, feeling helpless and weak and being reminded over and over again how he failed as he died? Tom’s eyes burned at that thought. He didn’t want that sort of ending for Ichiro. Not for his brother. Dying bound and helpless by people who would stare at him in bafflement and shake their heads in pity and go, ‘Oh dear. Poor, broken thing.’ 

Itch hated being powerless. Being under someone else’s mercy. He would despair at every second of it. It would be a horrible way to die for him. 

Tom loved his brother, and when the burning feeling left his fingers after awhile, and he couldn’t feel the ends of them at all anymore. So with a sigh, he went over to the bed, sitting down cross legged and putting his knees under the low hanging frame. Grunting, he murmured as he shifted the very heavy bed up with the pressure of his knees, legs leverage against the ground, he murmured, “H-his berth it r-rocks...heave ho, heave ho...come on, Tom…” he encouraged himself, struggling to use his fingers now to sit the newly made wooden wedge onto its broad side, thin, edged side up, and then giving a shuddering breath as he managed to make it stay, pointed up towards the thick, heavy bottom leg of the bed that was now in the air, the bed held up by Tom’s legs. Lowering the bed down slightly, to make certain it would align, he decided it would, and lifted the bed again.

...four times. He’d have to do it four times.

You can’t scream Tom. The guards will come ‘rescue’ you.

Be a good brother. 

Don’t scream.

“...the o-ocean gnashed and moaned…” His hand shaking, he positioned his four fingers on his left hand onto the edge of the wedge, clutching the wedge, taking some steady breaths as he reminded himself how important it was to not scream, do not scream. “...and spat back teeths and b-bone-ssssssss!!!”

Tom covered his mouth with his right hand, hissing in agony as he let the bed fall against his joints, definitely, at the very least, shattering the thin, delicate bones. The tie and the ice helped the pain a little, but not enough, oh god not enough!!

It took awhile to get his breathing under control, to suppress the need to cry out, and he couldn’t even hope to lift the bed off his fingers until he did so...but, a few pained tears running down his cheeks, he did lifting the bed and (oh god oh fuck) pulling his fingers back, staring at the clearly broken four fingers in muted, dizzied horror.

He had...almost been hoping the makeshift wedge would be sharp enough to disconnect the fingers entirely...oh Maki please this was going to hurt...but his finger bones now dangled uselessly at odd, impossible angles, and at least now it was just a matter of c-cutting through the skin. The bones were disconnected. J-just gotta…

He didn’t have anything sharp enough... 

Or, well...he supposed he did.

Tom giggled mindlessly (just do it just get it done then three more times after this you can do it be a good brother don’t scream) as he shuffled himself back to the bathroom, bath to the bowl of ice, submerging his now broken fingers (ahhhhhhhh!!!) into the ice to help with this next part a bit as he sang out through pained, grinding teeth, “I...I-I c-closed my eyes...h-heave ho, heave ho-o...a-as the ship was rent and f-fell...e-eddies in the water-ah!” Tom had to cover his mouth again as the ice started to burn his fingers again, just hold out, it’ll be better when they’re numb, just hold out! “...h-headed to the mouth of h-hell…”

He calmed down a little as the burning faded, and it was back to that, by no means peaceful, but still somewhat bearable numb, swollen, aching pain...that wouldn’t last, he knew, or suspected, when he started b-but...he had to be a good brother, he had to be a good brother, Ichiro, Aba, big sis, please help help help.

He giggled, a high, mad, terrible sound, and deciding to try to go about this two fingers at a time, he brought up his hand into his mouth, and eyes wet and wild with tears, he gently placed his teeth around his pointer finger and middle fingers second joints (ahhhhhhhhhhhstopstopstop) and sang through the loose bite, gathering his courage, “I’m b-beggin’ you...p-please wake me up...in all my d-dreams I-”

(DON’T SCREAM!)

-

It was rare for Kokichi to call a meeting with the other admins. Most problems, he took care of himself, and the big, country-wide issues had been...war-focused. Not something he worked on. But he looked appropriately nervous as Aiichi, Hideki, and Mikaku came into Aiichi’s office, each taking a seat, forming a close knit square with Kokichi. 

And, clasping his hands in his lap, looking to the floor, his cheeks quickly going red, he explained what he’d called them for. 

Aiichi had been shocked, having a reaction quite similar to Kokichi’s, though with a bit more excitement as he marveled that, ‘I’m going to be a grandpa…?’

Hideki had been disappointed, grumbling that he should have used protection, before his eyes had narrowed in interest, asking exactly how that all worked? 

And Mikaku...he seemed surprised, for sure, but he was the first to recover, humming and asking-

“Ah, you need us to come up with an announcement.”

And Kokichi had nodded shyly. 

They’d had several meetings, discussing options, and the only other person Kokichi told was Ikuo, who had teared up and scooped Kokichi into a big hug, getting excited for him, and vowing again to help in any way he could. He’d wanted to go congratulate Shuuichi too, but...Kokichi had asked if they could wait until the official announcement for that. 

And after the several meetings and at times heated arguments, there was a notice both put on the community board in the castle, as well as put in the daily paper, along with being sent to every town in the kingdom for their own papers, and as an official statement from the Dicean government for other countries to see.

New Additions to the Ouma Family Expected!

Princes Kokichi and Kaito have decided to start their family together, a new little one expected in early spring. They have asked their close friend, Shuuichi Saihara, to surrogate, and have decided to raise the child together, Mr. Saihara joining the relationship as another node in the royal family’s polycule. Congratulations to the Ouma family!

As with tradition, if you wish to share your excitement in a tangible way, please consider donating to your local orphanages, youth help centers, schools, daycares, or spending time with your own little ones. 

Shuuichi was crouched in front of Kaito’s shrine, holding a cut out copy of the statement from the local newspaper, hands shaking as he read it. He had read it over and over and the third time he had read it he had gone into the bathroom and closed the door and crawled into the tub and sobbed for awhile. Whole body shaking, clutching the statement close himself, just…

Everyone knew, everyone knew, everyone knew now…

It wasn’t a shock. Kokichi had told him, asked him, well in advance. Shuuichi had seen a copy of the statement before it was put out, being asked to approve it, Shuuichi numbly doing so. It had been a necessary step. A way to mitigate the very real damage and danger that rumors around the situation would inevitably have created. It had been the right choice.

...but oh fuck it was in the newspaper everyone in Dicea knew, it wouldn’t be long before everyone in Luminary knew a-and Miss Nao knew a-a-and it was all so real now!

So, shaking, Shuuichi had asked Nadya if she’d be okay grabbing him a guard or a housekeeper or anyone she could find to take him to the shrine, unable to focus on his work that morning, and she had found Hajime, who was standing at the end of the hallway, trying to give Shuuichi space but looking over at him in concern as Shuuichi stared at the statement in front of the door, just...fiercely debating with himself…

He wanted Kaito he wanted his friend he wanted him to hold him and tell him this was all going to be okay that his friend was going to protect him that he was going to take responsibility that Shuuichi wasn’t in this alone Kaito he wanted his friend, his best friend, to tell him how amazing all this was and that Shuuichi shouldn’t be so scared and horrified and humiliated please please tell him how this was all a good thing and how proud he was and how amazed he was and Kaito.

And, tears quietly falling from his eyes, Shuuichi knocked on the door and said quietly, “Kaito? Can I...can I talk to you?”

Inside his shrine, Kaito was laying on the ground, staring at the pictures he had taped up. Feeling tired and worn down. 

Maybe...maybe there was...no Atua…

No one else believed in him. None of his friends thought he was real. He knew...he knew the religion had been...changed. Morphed, to suit the Momota family needs. His mentor had told him that. Had taken his face in her hands and told him, “The Momota family is evil, baby. It’s up to you to be better.”

That had made him cry, back then. Not that that had dissuaded his mentor. She used to tell him tears were proof of guilt. That if he didn’t think she was right, he wouldn’t cry so much when she said things like that. She had been...scary, sometimes. Passionate. Maybe...maybe a little malicious, sometimes…

But she had also firmly believed in Atua, and did believe that the Momota family were his chosen representatives. That they had just...failed. 

And...that was hard to...think about. Atua was all powerful, wasn't he? Omnipresent? He didn’t...he didn’t make mistakes. This was all for a purpose, for a reason...certainly his chosen family couldn’t be...failures? Couldn’t be evil? Not if Atua was all those things. And...and if they were, and he let it happen?

...didn’t he love them?

Didn’t he love Kaito?

He didn’t feel loved right now. And without that loved feeling, doubt ate away at him. Made him question his faith. His place in the world. His...his place in Kokichi’s life. Atua had given him to Kokichi for a reason. It wasn’t just to...just to hurt Kaito. It wasn’t just to make him feel evil and cruel and monstrous...it couldn’t be...a god who loved him wouldn’t...put him through this, would he?

...if there was no Atua though...then it was all random anyway, wasn’t it?

And Kaito really could be evil.

His family evil.

Byakuya had killed their parents...why had he done that? Why had he...Kaito didn’t understand…

Did he do it for the same reason Kaito had shoved his cock down Kokichi’s throat while he was sleeping, trying to choke his small, weak lover?

Were they evil?

...why did Kokichi love him?

Kaito stared at the pictures on the walls. Cute little drawings, little messages of how much Kokichi loved him, missed him. A beautiful picture that he had worked on with Shuuichi that Kaito had immediately hung up next to the poster of Atau’s wife. The pictures made him happy. Warm.

Guilty.

Why did Kokichi love people who were evil?

Kaito didn’t understand.

Kokichi should have killed him. The same way Kaito should have killed Chasi and Tengan and Lake and Nao. Kaito had hurt him. Abused him. Kokichi...Kokichi should have taken his opportunity to kill him. Taken the dagger and buried it into Kaito’s neck. Taken vengeance. 

It would have been the right thing to do. Justice.

...Atua?

Was...was he and his brother and his parents and Luminary and his religion…

Were they evil?

Kaito closed his eyes as he heard the knock at the door. Shuuichi. Shuuichi. Sounding...sad. Asking to talk to him. Sounding like he needed help, or comfort, or...something from Kaito. Needed love.

...Kaito didn’t feel loved.

And...didn’t feel much love in him. At the moment. Just sorta...annoyed that Shuuichi was bothering him right now. While he was trying to get his head around this. Trying to pull himself back together.

“...go talk to Maki, Shuuichi.” Kaito told him. “She’ll be able to help with whatever you need.”

Shuuichi looked at the door in shock. Clutching the statement tighter. “...what?” he asked, genuinely shocked. “Kaito, please, I...I need to talk to you…”

Kaito closed his eyes in annoyance, his blood starting to heat. Anger starting to nip at him as he growled, “Not now, Shuuichi. Wait...are you out there alone?” He asked, suddenly concerned, looking at the door.

“...Hajime’s here. Kaito, please, it’s important-”

Frustrated, Kaito got up, still wearing his pants from when he had put them back on for Waku, going to the door and opening it up. 

He was surprised to see Shuuichi sitting on the floor, apparently settling in to talk for awhile, Shuuichi looking up at him in shock as Kaito looked around for Hajime, spotting him at the end of the hall. Grumbling, Kaito reached down and hoisted Shuuichi up by his shoulder, “Come on.”

As Haime watched, stunned, as Kaito, covered in blood and with a pissed off expression, dragged a shocked Shuuichi down the hall by his arm, he squared his shoulders and said, “Hey! Fucking let go of him like that! What are you doing!?”

Kaito just looked annoyed at his fury, passing the still helplessly stunned Shuuichi to Hajime, who caught him, looking furiously back at Kaito as the Luminary Prince said simpy “Take him back to his work or Maki or Kokichi or whoever’s watching him right now. I don’t have time for this. He needs to be focusing on his own recovery anyway. Just leave me alone, Shuuichi. I can’t help you right now. I can barely help myself right now.” Kaito said, mumbling the last line to himself darkly, before turning to go back to his shrine, his guilt only overpowered by his sheer frustration and fury as Shuuichi just stared at him, clutching a piece of paper to himself as Kaito slammed the door shut behind him.

“What the...fucking dick...what is his...what’s wrong with him?” Hajime spat, looking over Shuuichi, “Hey, are you okay?”

Shuuichi didn’t say anything for a moment, eyes wide with shock...before his expression became almost...suspicious.

“...can you take me to Maki?” Shuuichi asked him. “I need to talk to Maki.”

In the shrine, Kaito went back to laying on the ground, staring at the picture Shuuichi and Kokichi had made for him. Furious and frustrated and guilty and just…

Atua?

If you’re real and out here...now was the time to talk to him again…Kaito could feel himself losing it…

Seeing an image of Shuuichi’s shocked, hurt expression fresh in his head, Kaito reached for his knife, and started to pray again.

-

Kokichi worked quietly at his desk, not as focused as he usually was, but still dutifully doing his job. They had tried to phrase it in a joyous way, that he and Kaito had planned for all of this to happen, so Shuuichi would be protected, that no one would doubt the marriage, but… He’d tried to comfort Shuuichi. But...he wasn’t the person Shuuichi really needed comfort from. All he could do was protect him. 

...he’d wanted to tell Kaito before the announcement. Had nearly gone to do it before… Kaito would without a doubt take responsibility. That was the kind of person he was. And if he did, and tried to “shoulder” it without Kokichi? Then all of Shuuichi’s fears about Luminary...well, at least had a better chance to come true. By establishing that they were all an equal part of this, then there wasn’t a worry about inheritance. Shuuichi’s baby was a child of the three of them, and without an announcement that Kokichi had chosen it for the next heir, or without people trying to pry information that was very much not their business, the weird heir laws in Luminary couldn’t touch them either. 

...he’d asked Shuuichi if he could go with him to talk to Kaito but…

They had known each other for so much longer. Had loved each other for so much longer. If they needed time without him in the picture...he got that. 

So Kokichi worked on keeping his kingdom running with a distant, melancholic expression on his face, endlessly worried about his lovers. 

-

“There’s something wrong with Kaito.” Shuuichi had told Maki immediately, as soon as Hajime and he had found her and Lake out on patrol.

Maki had been stunned to see them come around the corner of the marketplace, having looked at Hajime immediately with a ‘what the hell’ look, who had just shrugged back at her, still entirely pissed off by Kaito’s actions earlier. He had had half a mind of, after dropping Shuuichi off here, going back to the shrine and giving the Luminary Prince a piece of his mind, but in the moment just sighed, nodding at Lake. “Hey.” he said to her, “Sorry to interrupt your patrol. It...it might be important.” he said uncertainly.

Maki’s eyes narrowed at this, before turning back to Shuuichi. “Yes, we know there’s something wrong with Kaito. That’s why he’s locked himself in a literal closet. Why?”

Shuuichi shook his head furiously. “No, there’s something more, I….can we talk in private somewhere?” he asked, looking nervously around the market...before noting eyes and whispers and fingers looking specifically at him and said, a sudden entirely new concern and fear in him “O-or just inside somewhere? Please?”

Lake took a look at the situation and nodded to herself before giving the group a big grin. “Hey, we’re actually by my house, if you two needed a mo’? I gotta stay out, keeping an eye out for trouble, but if you guys needed somewhere to pop in and talk, I don’t mind, and I know ‘Zumi wouldn’t either. C’mon, this way!”

Leading the small group, Lake set her shoulders in the way that made her cape flap in her wake, trying to make herself big and flashy so no one would look at anything else. Certainly not nervous, pregnant men who’d just been outed to the whole country, no siree! Look at the hero, everyone!

Across the street from one of the entrances to the community garden, there was a humble house with a small personal garden out front, a few flower patches and some bigger potted plants. The house was a little spaced out from those around it, almost finding itself in a little corner, despite being right in a row with others. 

Unlocking the door, Lake held the door open. “Make yourself at home! I’ll be right outside if you need anything!”

Both Maki and Shuuichi bowed their heads to Lake, as Maki  said, “Thank you, Lake. We won’t take long. Hajime, could you give us a moment?”

Hajime, who had been about to walk with them inside, furrowed his brow, “What, I don’t get to be part of this conversation? I’m concerned about all this too, Maki. You should have seen him, I was ready to clock him for how he was acting-”

Maki’s eyes narrowed, ‘Who...Kaito!?”

Shuuichi rolled his eyes, inviting Hajime in and nodding gratefully again to Lake as they closed the door behind him, “It’s fine, he saw it too. He can verify that I’m not, just...over-exaggerating or anything. Kaito...Maki, Kaito basically just threw me out of his shrine. Like, literally.”

Shuuichi sighed in frustration as a dagger immediately fell into Maki’s hands, her eyes radiating murderous energy as he said, “No, no, that’s not what I need from you right now. I need you to think about that. Kaito just threw me out of his shrine...when has he ever done anything like that before?! There’s something wrong.”

“Certainly,” Maki growled, spinning the dagger restlessly in her fingers, “And now there’s about to be something very wrong with him. Did he...” Maki suddenly hesitated, concerned as she said, “...was this a reaction to the news? Did you tell him?”

Shuuichi shook his head. “No. Never got the chance…”

Hajime hugged, “He walked out of his shrine after Shuuichi just asked to talk to him, grabbed him by his arm,and basically ordered me to get rid of him. It was the most entitled, fucking shitty thing I’ve ever-”

“He was acting like Byakuya.” Shuuichi said darkly. Imploringly.

Maki blinked at this...before nodding. “Do you think another letter? A new set of orders?”

“It’s all I can think of that would justify that type of response. Maybe this shrine visit wasn’t his idea? Maybe he was ordered to do it?”

“Why? And when?...but more importantly, why? What would be the point?”

“I don’t know, but it can’t be good, right? What other explanation could there be? I’m telling you, Maki, this was more than just Kaito being depressed. He was mean. He looked at me like he wanted to hit me. He would never-”

Hajime, who was now officially a little lost with the talk of letters and orders and Kaito’s brother, said, surprised, “Oh, is that the theory? I was sure you were gonna say he was on that personality drug thing.”

Both Maki and Shuuichi froze.

“...what?” Maki asked, while Shuuichi essentially blue-screened, staring at the floor, equations racing through his head.

Hajime scratched his cheek, looking a little embarrassed as he said, “Isn’t that...I mean, didn’t we, or you, or...yeah, we just go through this with Shuuichi here? Sudden, aggressive and unexplained personality changes? Like...I know I don’t know Kaito as well as you two, but what he did just now? I’ve never seen him do anything close to that. And it alarmed Shuuichi here enough to leave the castle the day literally everyone is talking about him, which, again...don’t know you guys that well, but this kinda seems like torture for him, being out here on today of all days. So, clearly you guys agree this is unusual, and...look, he was literally covered in blood when he came out of the shrine. Littered in cuts-”

“That’s not as unusual for Kaito...though it was kind of a lot this time.” Shuuichi admitted.

Hajime shook his head, holding his hand up, “I have a point. The last time I saw someone that incredibly messed up? And acting crazy and irrational, unlike himself? I...I kept it to myself when I shouldn’t have, assuming it wasn’t my business. And...I really regret that now,” Hajime said, looking with a spark of guilt over at Shuuichi, who just avoided his gaze, while Maki looked between the two with sudden, renewed suspicion, “So, this time...yeah, based on everything I see and know about the situation? Personality-altering drugs is...kind of the theme of the last few months, isn’t it?”

“...where would he have...Shuuichi, answer: is there any way you know of that Kaito could have access to despair pollen right now?” Maki ordered, watching Shuuichi’s pupils dilate, “A secret stash or-”

Shuuichi opened his mouth, expression blank, “The content of the brewery was destroyed, but samples for testing were distributed to classified locations. Nao had access to a jar filled with the pollen, and in theory could have kept some samples for herself. Dr. Kimura has the only other access to pollen within the country that I am aware of. Between herself and Nao, in theory, there is a potential months worth of doses left, even taking into account my doses and testing.”

Hajime blinked. “Wow. Did he do that...on purpose or? Because that was weirdly detached.”

Maki scowled. Considering the situation, her options… “...we need to talk to Seiko. And...we should probably talk to Kokichi.”

Seiko...well…

She had been taking a nap. Especially since her talk with Shuuichi, she had put everything she had into working on the antifungal compound, working through nights and even closing the pharmacy early so she could work without having to step away to ring someone out. With all the data from the other trial patients, there was no time to lose, all sorts of improvements she could make, all sorts of unforeseen side effects to quickly mitigate or change the instigating factor completely…

But right then...her latest work was separating in a centrifuge and...while waiting for it…

Seiko tried to get in sleep while she could. 

And so when voices called out for her, instead of fumbling what was in her hands, or tripping over boxes or papers she’d left on the floor, Seiko startled awake, falling out of her chair with a thump and a startled cry before she peeked up over the counter, eyes a little bleary as the shapes of...sigh. Shuuichi, Maki, and Hajime came into focus. 

“Sorry...s-sorry… Has something happened?”

Shuuichi got quiet and nervous on their trip over, hiding under his cover. Most people didn’t recognize who he was, thankfully, and those did seemed content to just stare, but...a few people had...tried to congratulate him and wish him well and that had only stopped when Maki’s murder aura was literally blazing heat as Shuuichi got more and more uncomfortable and flustered. 

So, the three of them had walked in with Shuuichi looking mortified, Hajime looking exasperated, and Maki looking ready to kill the next person who so much as breathed wrong as she walked up to the counter and said, “Are you keeping track of how much pollen you have?”

Seiko nodded, straightening herself up. “Yes. We have classified the spores as a controlled, highly dangerous substance, so anyone who has a sample has to keep them stored in double airtight containers, weigh the root sample before extraction, weigh the amount you are taking, and submit a record of what you’re using it for.”

With a small sigh that covered a yawn...aw geez, okay. She’s awake. “I had begun that method or storage and recording as soon as I received Shuuichi’s jar, so I can tell you without a doubt that no one has stolen any pollen when the attacks on my house and store took place. And…” With an apologetic look at Shuuichi, Seiko managed a grim smile. “I’m sorry, but I cannot disclose the location where I’m keeping it. Not without an approved request for study.”

Finally taking a good look at the others, a quizzical look came over Seiko’s face. “...I could understand the concern over it getting out to the public but...can I ask why you’re asking now?”

Maki glanced at Shuuichi. Ah, right...further information might be a little hard to gain with...looking over at Hajime, she said, “Take him outside.”

Shuuichi’s shoulders lowered, “Maki-”

“Shuuichi, just to not delay anything. Please, wait outside with Hajime.” Maki ordered, “I promise I’ll tell you anything she says that won’t possibly harm you.”

Hajime looked between the two, Shuuichi looking notably tired now, Maki unphased, before heading over to Shuuichi and putting a hand on his shoulder, “Hey, come on. Let’s just give them a minute. We’ll chill out in the alley, it’ll be fine.”

Shuuichi looked at Hajime and kind of wished he was Kaito...before nodding, letting himself be led out. Maki watched them go, before turning back to Seiko. “What about the samples from the brewery? Can you guarantee those samples are being handled with the same care? Do you all communicate?”

Seiko sighed a bit, but...it was necessary. As long as Shuuichi could possibly want to get his hands on spores again, he could not have any sort of information about their whereabouts. For his own and others’ safeties. It was one of the more difficult parts of rehabilitation. 

Giving Maki a nod, Seiko explained, “I have been in contact with the scientists and healers who have the samples from the brewery, yes. The measures I have taken with Shuuichi’s jar are the standard for those of us dealing with dangerous, controlled substances, and I would not be surprised if the individuals I’ve talked to have taken additional measures as well. On their past actions and the faith I have from working with them in the past, I feel comfortable assuring even you, Maki, that barring a high level, incredibly intrusive and likely violent break-in? Those samples have not and will not be breached.”

Glancing at the door, Seiko only...grew more worried. They weren’t saying why they were so concerned about the spores getting out. “U-um… Has Shuuichi had a relapse? That’s not necessarily indicative of him having access to the spores…”

Maki wasn’t actually trying to withhold information from Seiko. She was just more concerned about getting the information she wanted first, before moving on to giving information back, and she pulled at her hair now. Maki would have taken Seiko’s ‘even you’ vow as insincere...had Maki not had a fairly decent history with her now, and Seiko wasn’t personally aware of how personally the assassin took her friends' well being. If she felt her assurances were good enough for Maki’s standards, even knowing what those standards were? It was probably acceptable levels of paranoia then, that the pollen (spores? Spores.) was being handled with.

She was about to ask about Nao, but faltered, caught off guard by the implications of the last question as she said, “What about Na...wait, what? No, no, Shuuichi hasn’t had a relapse, why...wouldn’t that mean he had access to them again?” Maki asked, the sheer implications of that assumption extremely alarming...before shaking her head. One problem at a time. Focus. You can come back to that.

“What about Nao? When I forced an Info-dump from Shuuichi, he said that in theory Nao could have kept some pollen, sorry, some spores for herself before passing them onto you. Any...but even if she had, Kaito hates her...why would he ever go to her for anything, let alone…” Maki’s eyes widened, “Unless she’s dosing him or...oh,” she suddenly growled, hair starting to float as her eyes filled with murder, heat radiating off her as she growled, “I will kill her.”

Seiko’s worry only grew, but she sighed and rubbed her forehead at the confusing half-theories Maki ranted about. “Maki...I want to help you. I want to help Shuuichi. Considering I am publicly studying the spores and am trying to develop a counter-agent, it’s in my greatest, public hopes that it doesn’t break out to addict people again. So...what’s going on?”

“Technically, there is a possibility that Nao kept some of the spores. I do not have the same faith in her that I have in my colleagues. However...she does not have the acumen to study the spores on her own, which was why she took them to me in the first place. As soon as she realized it was a possibility, she was the one who tipped Aiichi and the guardforce off that there could be drugs in the beer. She was the one who gave Tom and Itch’s names to Aiichi, prompting the start of the investigation into the Remnants.”

“Additionally…” Seiko tiredly sighed. “If...you think Kaito has ingested spores? If that’s what this is all about? I don’t see any way for Nao to have done it, nor would there be a reason for her to. She’s cut ties with me as well, you know, and...she’s refusing to set foot in the castle. Even to further study the effects, which I don’t think she would at this point, having seen what happened to Shuuichi, she would have to be around Kaito for that to make sense as a motive.”

Maki scowled but...that all made sense. Her logic had been that maybe Nao was getting revenge on Kaito for attacking her, but...how? She supposed Nao could have an accomplice in the castle, but...it seemed like an awful lot of effort for a very delayed revenge. Hmmmm.

Maki sighed, letting herself relax a little. Nodding her head. “...we don’t actually have any real evidence to suggest that Kaito’s been infected.” Maki admitted, looking a little...ashamed as she shrugged. “He’s acting off. He handled Shuuichi...in a way that alarmed Shuuichi and Hajime today, when he saw him. In a somewhat violent matter, is how I’m understanding it, though I wasn’t there. We’re...we’re trying to rule out the possibility of any mind-altering drug that’s so recently ravaged my social group before moving on to other theories.”

Seiko nodded slowly, relaxing a little herself as Maki did, the young woman’s energy contagious. However… It wasn’t unreasonable for Kaito to be acting off. Therapy could often be tough on a patient, and he had just been through a traumatic experience. Lashing out wasn’t that odd of a reaction, not to mention all the other recent changes in Kaito’s life. 

However...acting violent towards Shuuichi? Especially after the news? She...it didn’t fit her picture of the prince at all. So much else could reasonably happen, but putting his beloved, well, love at risk like that…

Seiko closed her eyes for a moment, tapping on the counter, trying to think if there was any other way that Kaito might be infected. And…

Slowly, she spoke, opening her eyes. “...there...could be a chance that some of the spores laid relatively dormant in him since your time in the Western Forest. If he had another dose later...maybe through having some of the beer? That could’ve activated that in his system...letting the spores spread more slowly than they did for Shuuichi, since he was regularly taking them.”

“...that’s just a theory, but...if you were concerned about it at all...I could take a blood sample. If I’m looking for it, it would be rather simple to confirm whether or not the spores are in his system.”

Maki closed her eyes for a moment, a bundle of nerves suddenly flashing through her stomach.

...where was the danger.

...fuck…

She started running her hand through her hair, a tense, nervous fury running through her...she was going to burn down that whole forest someday. It was now officially a life goal. Reform Lumnary, burn down the Dead Forest, see Timothy get into college. Life goals. Okay….be who you need to be right now. You’ve got this.

Maki sighed, opening her eyes. “...there’s a possibility spores can keep spreading in your body even without repeated doses? Is that the current theory?”

Sighing again...she said, “I’ll bring Kaito in for a blood check. And, Timothy and I will also be getting a blood test. I was infected while we were in the western forest, and Timothy showed no symptoms, but breathed in the pollen like the rest of us. I don’t believe either of us are showing symptoms, but...just in case, if it's a problem, I’d like to know about it early.”

And then, frowning, she asked, “...should Kokichi get tested?”

“It’s a bit more than a theory, I’m afraid,” Seiko sighed. “Some of the patients who only went to the brewery once or twice? No signs of the spores lasting in their system, and I ran thorough tests to be sure. Patients who went irregularly, and had no signs of addiction? They do have spores in their system, though any effect it seems to be having on them is minimal at most. Nothing we can really measure beyond speculation. But, it’s there.”

“It’s unethical to test if the spores spread given time and no additional doses, however...that’s what I’m struggling with in my work.” Again, Seiko glanced at the door, feeling guilt when she thought of Shuuichi’s situation. “...my prevailing theory is that the body naturally dispels the spores, but slowly and only in small amounts. With regular doses, the spores spread and grow and infect the system faster than the body can get rid of them until...I have to assume, the body no longer treats the spores like a foreign substance. So far, I’ve managed to keep the spores from spreading, but I can’t...I haven’t found a way to rid them decisively. So...that leads me to believe that the spores do spread without additional doses, but at such a slow rate that the body’s natural flush keeps you at a steady amount.”

“...not to mention that everyone reacts differently to it,” the doctor grumbled, smoothing her hair out of her face. There were many reasons she rarely had an idle moment these days. 

With another sigh, she shrugged. “To be on the safe side? I would say yes. I can check for all of you.”

Maki nodded, before looking back at the front door. Something calm and blank in her expression as she listened to Seiko’s concerns. 

“...if Timothy’s infected, I expect him to be kept up to date with the most current medicine available.” She said, wanting to be entirely clear. “...but if I am?...would being able to test your theory, ethically or otherwise, in a concrete way help you make the medicine Shuuichi needs?”

Oh...Maki… It wasn’t like Seiko didn’t understand the apprehension people had around the Luminaries. And for some of their concerns, there was good reason for it. But people were complex, and Maki… Her selflessness was going to get her hurt one day, but hopefully her friends would respond to her kindness in turn, and be able to help her out of it.

Giving the young woman a soft look, Seiko felt relieved that she could shake her head. “No. My theory is just for understanding how the spores work in a natural environment. One I can make a medicine that can work for every patient we have? I have some tests in mind I can perform to understand the spores more. The fact that I can assume that they reproduce at all? I can account for that in my medicine, and I can know to look for re-emergences in past patients. I don’t need to know the rate of reproduction in a closed environment for that.”

“You are my patients, Miss Harukawa, and I will do everything I can for your health. If I find spores in your blood, you can be sure I will provide enough capsules not just for Shuuichi’s latest prescription, but for the rest of you as well.”

Maki hoped the relief on her face wasn’t too obvious. She didn’t remember the incident in the Dead Woods that well, beyond a few vague, hazy memories, but...becoming crying and meek and distracting herself with imaginary problems, like spiders needing shoes, while so many real problems needing her attention were around? That sounded miserable. Not to mention that between Tim, Shuuichi’s baby, Tom and Itch? She probably didn’t need to get pregnant and add another dependent to her list of responsibilities. 

Sighing, “Okay,” Maki said, brushing the bangs out of her eyes. She needed a haircut… “Okay. If I can bring Kaito down today, could you accommodate that? Getting him out of his shrine might be a challenge, so I don’t know when I can actually get him down, but I can try for today if you’re okay with that. Oh, uh, Kaito’s locked himself in his shrine. It’s a thing.” Maki explained, having no idea how beat for beat that was to something Shuuichi had said recently, “Or could you come to the castle at some point? That might be easier to drag him too.”

Seiko nodded before pausing, thinking of her work being whirled around at the moment. While...she did technically have nine months...Seiko wanted to get a working medicine as soon as possible. For Shuuichi, for all the other people stuck with spore addiction… But working every second of every day would only force her to take even more time off when she inevitably crashed. She had time to wait around in the castle for a bit, waiting for his friends to bring Kaito out...er?

She sent Maki a concerned look but nodding with more certainty. “I can prepare equipment and wait in my office for when you are able to convince him over. May I request an hour? So I can finish sensitive work here and close up before I head over.”

Maki nodded, “Take two. Again, depending on Kaito’s attitude? It might be...an event. Getting him there. He’s difficult to drag places he genuinely doesn’t want to go to normally. Potentially on pollen?” Maki pouted a little...before shaking her head. She had this. It’d be fine.

Bowing to Seiko, she said, “Thank you for your time. I’m sorry I came in so hot. I was...worried you’d lie to me. But I think you’re being forthright with me, so thank you. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

With that, she left.

-

He’d gotten a chunk of work done but...god, he couldn’t focus. He wanted to talk to Kaito...but he didn’t want to force Kaito to talk. Not when this was supposed to be his retreat from the world for a while. 

So...Kokichi decided to do every time he had been wanting to talk to Kaito the past couple days, and he drew a picture. A seagull, recalling the ones he’d made sketches of during their vacation. And, letting Nadya know he was taking a short break, he trotted upstairs, standing in front of the shrine door for a few moments before carefully sliding the drawing under the door.

...he missed his husband. His friend. Possibly one of the other fathers of his maybe child. 

Kokichi closed his eyes, trying to keep it together. They couldn’t all fall apart right now...Kaito needed this so...he just had to be strong for him...protect his husband…

“...’Kichi? You still out there?”

Kokichi gasped softly, never having heard Kaito speak to him while he dropped off the drawings before. And...almost desperately, he headed back to the door, again breathing through his mouth to stave off his nausea. “I’m here, Kai-chan. Did you need anything?”

Kaito looked nervously at the little drawing of the seagull. It was cute...reminded him of the beach…

Popping his joints, trying to soothe the ache in his hands, he said, “Beautiful, you shouldn’t come by this door, you know...I know the, uh…” Kaito looked around himself. It was...maybe getting a little out of control, even for a shrine. “...smell bothers you. You don’t have to keep bringing me drawings, babe. I’ll be coming out soon anyway.”

For once, Kokichi was glad for the door between them, if only so Kaito didn’t have to see the way the tentative hope on his face fell. ...Kaito was trying to get rid of him…

“...I know… But I want to. I don’t want to ruin your time in there, but...I thought the drawings were something nice I could do, to keep showing that Kai-chan’s in my thoughts, you know? I mean...if you don’t like them...or it’s getting to be too much, I can stop.”

Kokichi opened his mouth, wanting to ask how his talk with Shuuichi went, but… That was prying. Giving Kaito even more to think about when he was already trying to process everything else. So he shut his mouth and was quiet for another moment. “...are you good on water?”

Kaito stared miserably at the door...before getting up, and going by it and sitting down, resting his head against it.

Was he good on water? He didn’t know...he hadn’t drunk any lately. And the food left out of his door he was starting to just kinda...pick at. It wasn’t that he wasn’t hungry, it was just...nothing tasted very good.

“...I miss you.” Kaito admitted, something clenching in his stomach, just...so confused by that.

Because he did. He missed Kokichi. And...a-and Waku was wrong, he didn’t regret him, but...but…

...his life would be so much easier without him...he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was like a terrible, ugly worm, digging into his brain. He kept thinking about what he’d be doing right now if he had never came here. If this...all of this had never happened to him. Would his parents still be alive? They would be, right? Maybe...maybe his friends wouldn’t have been taken away. Kaito didn’t know why he thought that, but...maybe? Shuuichi wouldn’t be on a deadly drug, and Maki...what was on her wall…?

He wouldn’t be a shitty father to a kid who had actively tried to kill him twice...he wouldn’t...be questioning his faith or...questioning if maybe...maybe Kaito had always been this bad, and just never realized it before. 

...he was starting to hate himself.

Kaito closed his eyes at the revelation. But...there it was. He had started to hate himself, since the day he had pushed that small and clearly weak kid into the dirt and called him a disappointment and found out the next day he had to marry him. And it had all just...gotten worse from there. Everything he did. Everything he said. Every thought he had...just making him more and more of a villain.

Kaito hated himself...and he kinda blamed Kokichi for it.

...but he loved Kokichi. That feeling hadn’t gone away, as much as thinking about him led to just...so much anger and resentment...and he wasn’t even sure if it was fair to blame this on Kokichi? Just because his husband had shown him just how bad he actually was, didn’t mean Kaito hadn’t been the villain this whole time. He just...hadn’t been able to see it before.

...no wonder his brother and the head secretary had had to do so much to control him. No wonder his parents hadn’t wanted anything to do with him. No wonder he had been forced to give up his claim. 

Kaito was a monster.

...he really wished Atua would...tell him he wasn’t. But even the version of Atua he kept in his head had gone silent in the last day. Kaito just...saying awful things to himself in an echo chamber in his mind that got more and more certain of its truth the more he said it to himself. Kaito was a monster. He was evil. He was dangerous and destructive and had always been like this, and Kokichi...standing next to Kokichi? Who was all...light and goodness and kindness and literally divine...if Atua was really there…?

“...they literally call you the Light of Dicea…” Kaito murmured quietly. Heartbroken. Just...entirely unable to measure up.

Kokichi’s heart ached, hearing Kaito’s voice come closer, and...fuckin’, smell be damned, he sat himself on his knees in front of the door, laying a hand on the door. “I miss you too…”

His best friend who lit up a room just by walking in, who cared so fiercely for the people around him. Who had believed in him with unyielding passion, giving Kokichi the confidence to fight back in a way that would actually change things. Who...was a man who loved fantasy novels and armor and weapons and was so kind and playful with children and was the person so many people looked to to lead them, even if he didn’t see that for himself. 

“I miss you so much, Kai-chan… But I love you more than my own selfishness so...as long as you need to stay in your shrine...for whatever I can do for your happiness, that’s all I want. I love you.”

Kaito closed his eyes. Of course he did...because he’s a good person. A good person who wouldn’t…

“...I wasn’t very nice to Shuuichi earlier,” Kaito admitted, curling himself up against the door. Looking over to his book on the shrine. It was covered in red handprints now. He hadn’t found any answers there. “And...I’m worried about the therapy sessions. Are...are we certain that missing the sessions aren’t gonna affect my-”

Kaito hesitated, before sighing. Thumping his head against the door. He couldn’t sabotage Dr. Ford’s career. “...I don’t know. My overall therapy stuff?”

Kokichi froze. ...he wasn’t nice to Shuuichi? Kokichi wasn’t expecting Kaito to come out from the shrine all smiles when he heard but… But surely Kaito wouldn’t just...disavow both Shuuichi and his kid, right? Not in the way where he’d just talk about therapy in the same breath…

Okay...don’t jump to assumptions…

“...you can never tell for sure, Kai-chan. Everyone is different, so everyone goes through therapy differently. You’re still going to have to see some professional for the rest of your time but...what that looks like? We’ll have to see.”

“...” Kokichi fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, the other subject a bit more pressing on his mind. “Um...what did Shuu-chan tell you earlier, anyway?”

Kaito rolled his eyes, before knocking his forehead against the door again. “I don’t know...he was trying to say something and I just...told him to go to Maki about it. I just...I can’t sit here and listen to…”

Kaito grit his teeth, thumping his head against the door harder now. “...more fuckng problems I can’t...fix...I can’t...he just has to get through this withdrawal period, okay? That’s all there is to it. And Maki’s better at getting him through that than I am. All I do is...fuck him when he’s high as balls on pollen and make him worry I’ll murder his fucking abuser…”

Running his hand over his face, he growled...before forcing himself to relax. “Sorry, sorry, Kokichi...sorry, nevermind, I…I’m not in a good place in my head right now. I don’t want to put that on you. I…”

“...fuck, I wanna touch you…”

Kokichi almost physically recoiled from the door in shock. What the hell? When had it mattered if Kaito knew how to solve a problem or not, or even if he didn’t know who to go to to solve it? Just being there for his friends? Being there to listen out everything Shuuichi and Maki had to say…

Never mind that Shuuichi had been a nervous wreck that morning, and Kaito had just...sent him away? What on earth…

Voice low, Kokichi just stared at the door like it had personally offended him for a moment before speaking. Almost in a cold tone, like he had at the engagement. “...Shuu-chan is pregnant, Kai-chan. The announcement was sent out today. You didn’t even listen to what he tried to say?”

Kaito had been half lost in a daydream about his husband, just...imagining running his hands over his skin...pinning him down and hearing him call his name...forgetting himself inside of him...forgetting his problems-

Kaito’s eyes widened.

…

(ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod)

Kaito opened the door. Staring down at Kokichi.

“What the fuck are you talking about!?” 

Kokichi had to scramble back from the door, though it still slammed into his knees. He had intended to get up, but his eyes widened at the state of Kaito, and in an instant he was frozen, pupils shrunk to pinpricks. 

Kaito was covered in blood, absolutely coated in it, wearing it like a shower of paint, like a second skin, stinking like a corpse, his own skin shredded to ribbons, thick lines of stitches like rope binding him, while he was flayed, little pieces catching on the knife as they were peeled back--

Kokichi made something of a distressed gurgling sound as the color drained from his face and...it was probably a good thing he was already on his ass, because it wasn’t long before those wide, frightened eyes rolled back and Kokichi fell back on the floor with a soft thump.

Kaito stared, stunned, as Kokichi fainted dead away...and then sighed, rolling his eyes. “Oh, come on…”

“Kaito!?”

Kaito’s heart leapt into his throat, immediately taking several steps back towards his shrine as Maki bolted down the hallway, seeing the fury on her features and, having some sense of self-preservation still, quickly shutting the door on them as Maki went to check on Kokichi.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I...he just fainted, okay!? I’m sorry! ...h-he said Shuuichi was pregnant!?”

Shuuichi and Hajime weren’t that far behind, as Maki looked Kokichi over, before looking through her clothes. “Shit, shit, shit, Shuuichi, I don’t have mine, do you-”

“On it,” Shuuichi said, digging the smelling salt out of his pocket. Maki had gotten him and Kaito smelling salts all the way back when they had asked Kokichi what they were meant to do if he had a fit, though this was the first time it had become relevant. All the other times he had collapsed had been heart attacks and nose bleeds, but this? As far as Maki could tell, he was just unconscious. 

As Shuuichi owned up the small packet, putting it under his nose as Maki held him, he flinched at Kaito’s furious question, starting to shake. He...he didn’t sound happy...he sounded mad…

Shucichi flinched as he heard the obvious sound of someone punching the door on the other side of wood. “S-sorry,” he whispered, frightened at Kaito’s rage, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Kaito, shut up! I’ll deal with you in a second!” Maki shouted, glaring at the door, “Just be quiet!”

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, Maki! Did Shuuichi manage to get himself pregnant!?”

“Ooooooh...he better be riddled with spores…or I’m gonna destroy him…”

“Not if I don’t knock him out first,” Hajime muttered, looking over Maki’s shoulder at Kokichi. “Should I grab a healer? Hey, stop it!” Hajime shouted to the door, another violent thump making Shuuichi jump. “Don’t listen to that, Shuuichi, you’re fine.”

“Sorry...”

The world came back slowly, at first. Weird swirls of sensation before - “Ak-guh!” Kokichi shuddered, pawing in front of his face for a moment, trying to get the gross smell away before he blinked hazily, recognizing his friends. “A-ah...thanks…”

Clearing his throat, Kokichi sat up with Maki’s help, reorienting himself. And… He looked at the shrine door, hurt and confused and worried and...sort of furious. “What the hell is going on…” He swallowed, looking back to his friends. “I’m okay, Hajime-chan...but Kai-chan isn’t. He’s just…”

Kokichi shuddered again. “He’s covered in cuts…” And acting like he’s completely off his rocker. Looking up at Shuuichi as the detective flinched back from the door, Kokichi gently reached out to his boyfriend. “It’ll be alright, Shuu-chan...I’m sorry I didn’t come with you earlier…”

Shuuichi shook his head. “No, I...I should have come and told you something was wrong. I’m sorry. I went to Maki first, I just...I should have warned you before you came to see him yourself…”

“Kokichi, do you need to go down to the medbay? We can take you down there now,” Hajime insisted, looking around nervously. Man, working in this place used to be a lot simpler. Clean the hallways, help the kitchen meal-prep and clean, and, like, drag Kokichi away from sharp objects. Simple! Sheesh...now it was all raging Luminous princes and personality drugs and terrorists and did he mention the crazy Luminaries?

(Sure, all of this was the most useful and just...excited Hajime had ever felt in his life. For the first time in his life feeling...unique. Important. Talented, if at least in his ability to handle the crazy Luminary situation, which was apparently never going to let up...but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to complain about it anyway.)

“Shuuichi! Answer me! Are you pregnant!? Why would Kokichi say that!? Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“I’m okay, Hajime.” Kokichi tried to give the housekeeper a smile, but...there was kind of a big thing going on? And dragging him away from his husband was...like the least helpful thing that they could do right now. 

Even if...kind of what he wanted to do was yell at Kaito. 

“He tried to tell you, but you told him to go away! And why are you yelling at him? Shuu-chan needs our support more than ever right now.” Kokichi huffed, before softening a little. “I know you’re dealing with a lot, Kai-chan, and I’m sorry for this to be another, but it’s something you should know. We can talk about it more, and everything else too, once you’re ready.”

Kaito stared at the door, bracing himself on it, hands on either side of his head as he rested his forehead against the wood...before slamming his forehead against the door violently, shouting, “Shuuichi of all the stupid fucking things-” he bit his tongue, trying to stop himself from actually, just actively screaming at him.

Oh god...how could Shuuichi...how could…

...how could Shuuichi have been so stupid?

(Wait, what? No, stop it.)

How could he have been so...careless!? Wasn’t he the smart one? Isn’t that why Kaito had put up with him all these years? He sure as fuck hadn’t done it for how fun he was. Fucking...always whining about shit...always so god damned sad…why couldn’t he have taken care of this himself?! He just needed to fucking flush the thing out of him-

(stop it stop it stop it stop-)

-it, what was he thinking!?

Kaito took a startled breath, backing up from the door, horror suddenly filling him.

What was he doing?

Oh god, Shuuichi was pregnant and Kaito was...fucking yelling at him...what was wrong with him!?

A shudder of repulsion ran though Kaito, and he looked around desperately for his dagger, where was it where was it there, okay, okay, okay-

Taking the dagger, Kaito barely felt it as he ran the blade over his chest, going over to the table and, running his hand over the wound, taking the blood his finger collected and dripping it onto the long-overflowing bowl now. Once the drops were in, he leaned over the table, bowing his head on it and started desperately praying, Atua, Atua please, please fix him, there was something wrong, please please please, he wanted to throttle Shuuichi how could he have been so fucking stupid!?

Maki watched the door, scowling as Kaito refused to answer Kokichi. “He has an hour,” she said simply, no argument in her voice. “Then I’m taking him to the medbay. Seiko’s going to run a drug test. Kokichi? I want you to take one as well. I’m telling you this as both your friend and your security officer. We need to make certain you’re not right behind him.”

Shuuichi ran his hands over his forehead, before lowering his cap over his face. “...what if there’s nothing wrong with him...w-what if this is just...h-how he feels...h-he’s so mad…” Shuuichi stared at the floor, almost sick with grief as he said, “He’s right...I was stupid...I should have been better…”

Kokichi jumped a bit at the slam, just...kind of horrified? This wasn’t what Kaito was like at all! This was more than just grief and confusion and even over-boiled rage. This was...madness…

Looking over to Maki, he… 

“...drug test? For w…” His eyes widened. In a moment remembering cruel rage as Kaito threw Maki into a wall, as he taunted and sneered at Kokichi before gearing up to kill him. But...how? He’d gotten the antidote both in the forest and after being poisoned by Tim and...the little sip of Itch’s beer didn’t mess with him at all!

...or so he’d thought.

Nodding seriously, Kokichi finally pushed himself up from the ground, a little unsteady as he felt slightly light-headed, but alright. “Okay...okay. I can’t...okay. We’ll… Seiko can test us, and...I mean, her medicine does work, at least a little. She’ll...okay…”

He tried to sort himself out, still just...reeling, though Shuuichi’s despair made him scowl before he came over with a kind, firm expression, putting a hand on Shuuichi’s back and rubbing it gently. “Hey… Even if Kai-chan’s angry which...is baffling, then it’s still not Shuu-chan’s fault… We should’ve used protection. If anything, it’s equally all our faults, but I still say it’s more weighted towards me and Kai-chan. You’re okay...we’ll figure this out. I promised to stay by you no matter what, so we’ll figure it out.”

Shuuichi looked over at Kokichi...before quietly nodding his head, trying to mute the fear and uncertainty inside of him. He had...he had really wanted to count on Kaito right now. Kokichi didn’t understand some of his fears and Maki treated his problems too severely and he had...he had just really wanted Kaito to reassure him...and…

...if Kaito was on the spores? 

Was this actually going to get better? 

Would the medicine help with the personality changes? Was this Kaito’s version of seeking out stress? Did the medicine actually help Shuuichi with that, or was it getting pregnant? Shuuichi couldn’t remember when that had started feeling better. Before his last visit with Nao? Maybe? Or was he rationalizing to himself decisions he had felt pressured to make? 

...oh god.

Was Kaito going to go into heat?

He almost hoped their theory was wrong. He almost hoped Kaito was just...unhappy. Or being manipulated by some random, stupid plan by his brother. He wouldn’t wish the heat on anyone, and especially not his boyfriend. How on earth were they going to handle that? Kaito was insatiable just...normally. If the spores had turned an asexual into a, what was the word Nao had used? 

(Whore. Slut. Dog. Bitch. Freak.)

Nympho. If it had turned Shuuichi into a nympho...what the fuck would it do to someone like Kaito!? Whose stress stimulus was apparently rage?

...how...how were they going to stop someone like Kaito from hurting them? Shuuichi had wanted to hurt everyone badly. Had daydreamed about it. But Shuuichi was weak, and shy, and socially anxious, prone to submitting to others' wills, regardless if he was on the pollen or not. 

Kaito would be dangerous.

“...we need to be careful. Maki, we might want to ask the guards for help taking him to the medbay, if he doesn’t agree to go,” Shuuichi told her warily. “He threw you into a wall last time he was like this. He’s not entirely like that yet but...Kaito’s strong, when he’s not holding back…”

Maki narrowed her eyes at this...but didn’t disagree. Just said, “Let’s wait to see if he agrees to go or not, and then I’ll go ask for help.”

Kokichi pressed his lips together, endlessly worried by...what just felt like another day where everything was falling apart. But...but they were all working for the same goals, and they had a way forward. Just keep calm and trust in your people. You’ll make it through this. 

Rubbing Shuuichi’s back a little more, Kokichi glanced up at his friends. “...I...think I’m gonna go back to the office until Dr. Kimura gets here. I kind of just left Nadya-chan hanging--maybe I’ll give her the rest of the day off...I don’t think I’ll be able to work much more anyway.”

And if he wasn’t on the spores...maybe a little more time alone would help Kaito out. At least it didn’t look like them being there was helping any.

“Any of you are welcome to come with, if you want.”

“I’ll go with you. It’d be nice to focus on...literally anything else for awhile,” Shuuichi muttered, before glancing at Maki, “Should we meet back here for-”

“Nope. Honestly? I’d rather both of you stay as far away from this hallway as possible until we know exactly what’s going on with him. And if this gets ugly, I don’t want either of you to see it,” Maki said simply, looking over to the door. “Go to Seiko’s office in an hour. Get your blood test. Then, for everyone’s sake? Clear out before me and Kaito get there. Just...let me and the guards handle it.”

Kokichi sighed softly but nodded. “Okay. I trust you, Maki-chan, and...once he’s in a better state, I know Kai-chan will appreciate you doing this too. Be safe.”

Taking Shuuichi’s hand loosely, not wanting to force that touch, he started to lead the way back down to the office. “So how’s your back doing today? I bet our bed is a little different from what you’re used to, but we can try out, like, mattress covers and stuff if you think it would help…”

Fuss over someone else. On something small. Something you can change. And...life will go on. Even when your husband may be losing his mind to a stress-seeking parasite that historically makes him a violent threat to everyone in his way.

Shuuichi looked nervously around to see if anyone could see them...then remembered that it was public knowledge now and just...held Kokichi’s hand back. Avoiding any curious gazes as they walked. “No, no, it was fine...it was nice. Did you know you’re cool enough to ease aches? It was amazing. Like having a cold to heat pack,” Shuuichi said, trying to...ease some of the tension off them both. “I’m sorry I fell asleep in the middle of talking. The medicine makes me tired...did I kick you?”

Kokichi smiled a little, rubbing the side of Shuuichi’s hand. “Ah, I’m glad being perpetually cold is helpful to someone! If Shuu-chan likes it, then maybe it’s not such a bad thing. And don’t worry about it; just more to talk about later, you know?”

Please...please, Kaito. Be alright. Let people help you. 

“Not at all! I’m half convinced that you just shift a little in your sleep and Maki-chan is such a sensitive sleeper that it seems like kicks to her. I wore socks to bed for nothing.” Kokichi dramatically sighed, wobbling a little as his vision went funny, but catching himself easily on the stair railing. “Shuu-chan is a perfectly wonderful sleepmate, and for as long as you’ll have me, I’ll be happy to snuggle against you and leave you no space at night.” He rolled his eyes a little and tried another smile.

“Like I said...I’m probably not gonna work when we get back, so do you want me to make you a cup of tea? I stocked up the other day--Chako gave me an assortment of bags from the kitchen so any kind of flavor you’re lookin’ for we can probably make.”

“Yeah, we can…”

Shuuichi tightened his grip on Kokichi’s hand.

“...w-we could t-try some different…” Shuuichi’s shoulders shook, hiding his face under his cover, his voice suddenly tight, “...s-some different ones, ya know? I really l-like vanilla i-if we have some-hic.”

Shuuichi put his hand over his face. Quickening his pace, not wanting to cry in the middle of the hallway. He just needed a second. He’d get it together in a second.

...Kaito had been so mad...everyone knows now and Kaito had sounded disgusted…

Kokichi tightened his grip as well, continuing what he hoped were soothing rubs against the side of Shuuichi’s hand. “I’m pretty sure I saw vanilla on the label for one...shoot, it was mixed with something… Maybe some kind of orange spice? I’ll look for it when we get back.”

...he could comfort Shuuichi more in a moment. In a place that wouldn’t humiliate his boyfriend. Kokichi knew just...how awful it felt to make a scene, even if that was the least important part of whatever was bothering you. But they were almost at the office, and then...they could just relax and distract themselves until Seiko came by and then...well, they’d have an answer soon at least. 

If Kaito had a reason to act like he had. 

And if he hadn’t…

Kokichi couldn’t even imagine it, but if he had to face that possibility...he was going to stand by Shuuichi’s side. Kaito was his husband, but some discomfort on his end was worth Shuuichi’s health. And if he didn’t want to raise the kid...Kokichi would just have to step up even more now. 

Kokichi pressed his lips together, his eyes burning in fear and anguish, but he kept up a smile and inane chatter about tea until they made it to the office, and he pleasantly explained to Nadya that there’d been something of a medical emergency and he wasn’t going to keep working, so she was free to leave early if she liked. And Nadya, Mila bless her, could read the atmosphere and bade the two men a quiet ‘see you tomorrow’ before heading out.

Guiding Shuuichi to the couch, Kokichi sat on his knees and just...held him. 

Shuuichi tried to talk through his tears for a moment, even alone trying to...just really trying to not lose it, but…

As Kokichi held him, he gripped him back, burying his face into his shoulder. Just sobbing into the crook of his neck as he told him he was scared. That he was hurt and embarrassed. That he had never wanted any of this. That of the three of them, he had been certain Kaito would be the only one of the three new (potential) parents who would be happy, and now that he wasn’t, Shuuichi just didn’t know what to do. That he was sorry because this wasn’t fair to Kokichi and it wasn’t fair to Maki but Shuuichi felt so alone.

He told him it had been terrifying to go out into town and realize people knew who he was. That he had felt useless when Maki had sent him outside to talk to Seiko, that he had felt like a burden. Like he was in the way.

He told him he didn’t know what they were going to do if Kaito was sick and Maki was getting a blood test and Kokichi was getting a blood test and what if they were all sick!? He didn’t want them to go through this. It had been awful, it had been awful Kokichi, he didn’t want that for them.

He told Kokichi he was sorry, that he felt like this was his fault. He told Kokichi he was scared Kokichi would be sick because Seiko said it would hurt him most of all. Apologized over and over and held him tight and cried.

All of this came out as a long, desperate rant. Just pouring his emotions out, his fear and worries, his frustration...and once he was done he took a long, steadying breath. Exhausted but...feeling better. Relieved to have gotten so much off his chest.

After awhile he had wiped his face and apologized to Kokichi for crying all over him, but-- “...I kinda feel better now,” he admitted, his eyes sore, but looking notably relieved. “...I...I can make that tea now, if you want…” 

His face scrunched up for a moment, another rush of emotion...but all he felt the need to say was, “It’s going to be okay, isn’t it?”

At first, Kokichi had wanted to reassure every worry and fear Shuuichi had, but it wasn’t long before he realized that the best thing he could do for his boyfriend was to hold him and rub his back and run his fingers through the ends of his hair and kiss his head and listen. Because sometimes you just wanted someone to understand how you were feeling. 

When it seemed like Shuuichi was done, Kokichi sat back and gently kissed Shuuichi’s tear-stained cheeks. Told him how much he loved him and that he didn’t mind being cried on. And he had smiled and got up to make the tea. 

“It’s going to be okay, not because things always work out in the end--because they don’t--but because we’re going to make it okay, Shuu-chan. Because we care, and there are a lot of other people who care too. Even when it doesn’t feel that way...we’re not alone. You’re not alone.”

Kokichi smiled grimly as he set the kettle up to boil. “...Kai-chan and I actually talked about kids, you know? Turns out...we both want a big family. I am excited to be a father...I just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. But even if it was an accident...I’m still looking forward to it. And with whatever’s going on with Kai-chan, if it is the spores or something else, once that’s sorted out? He’s gonna be excited too. Call it faith but...that’s the feeling I have.”

“Ah, it is orange vanilla--is that okay for you?”

Shuuichi nodded, and then shrugged lightly. “Yeah, that’s alright. Never had that one before… Yeah, Kaito’s...he’s always liked kids. Always been good with them. And he just...I know it’s narcissistic, but I just can’t believe he’d scream at me for being pregnant and still be in his right mind… I know I said I hope he’s not sick, but...god I can’t… I don’t want this version of Kaito to be real. I know that’s hypocritical. Kaito put up with all of my changes...but I just...I just want him to be Kaito…”

The detective sighed, before smiling softly, accepting the cup of tea. “Thanks Kokichi...I’m sorry, how are you feeling? I saw that stumble on the stairs and I just got caught up in my own shit. You fainted not that long ago. Are you feeling alright?”

“I know what you mean, and that’s not narcissistic, love,” Kokichi sighed as he returned to Shuuichi’s side with his own cup of tea. “For his health? I’d never want any of us on spores. But...how he was acting, and I just saw that little bit...it’s not like him at all. At least if he had spores in him it’d make sense. Kai-chan yelling at us, isolating himself, acting like he doesn’t have a hand in any of this? Knowing that all that stuff is what upsets him the most would at least be a little comforting, in a way.”

It was something that Kokichi had said about Shuuichi’s changes as well. And...for the most part? Right now Shuuichi was acting pretty much like himself. It was dramatic but...in perspective, Shuuichi had been acting oddly for a short period of time. Short enough that the love for who he really was could carry people through the cruel, dismissive comments.

Sipping at the tea, Kokichi looked away with a shrug. “...I’m fine enough. A little light-headed, but sitting down with a drink will help with that. I just...there was...too much blood… For a second...it almost looked like he’d...um. Done what Tom did to Aba…” Kokichi drew in a shaky breath and closed his eyes, centering himself, trying not to think too hard about Kaito’s state on the other side of that door.

Shuuichi winced at that. Ouch...that had to have been hard to see. Leaning over to kiss him on his temple, Shuuichi said, “That’s...it’s not unusual for Kaito to be bloody, and I’ll admit, that wasn’t what I was focusing on when I saw him. But...that amount of cuts? All at once? That was excessive. I’ve never seen him look like that either...so, whatever is going on with him? That’s not normal either, Kokichi. I promise, that’s not what Kaito looks like every time he goes into his shrine.” Shuuichi frowned, now actually thinking about it as he noticed, “It’s like he literally hasn’t stopped cutting in days…that’s not prayer, that’s self-mutilation. Maybe another stress thing?”

Shuuichi sighed, leaning back into the couch, muttering, “Insufficient evidence, observer biased...I just really want it to be...god, I can’t imagine what it’s like seeing someone get flayed alive. How are you...I wish I could take that memory out of your head. It’s not fair that you saw that. It sounds horrifying…”

It was good to know that wasn’t normal, but it was still horrifying that it was happening. Seiko had said that one of the most likely outcomes of someone taking spores was that they killed themselves for the stress. Shuuichi had tried to drown himself. 

This was going to be one of the worst hours of his life, huh. 

Kokichi swallowed thickly again, forcing himself to take another sip of tea. “I wish I could forget it… I know Itch was trying to taunt me while it was happening but...I guess it’s a small blessing I could barely hear what he was saying. And another, I suppose, that it wasn’t absolute torture for her. I can’t imagine how horrible the physical therapy is going to be… Let alone what she’ll think of it once she starts taking the medicine too.”

“Screw her. She agreed to kidnap you too,” Shuuichi muttered, sipping on his tea, surprised at the taste. Very...orang-y. Weird. “I don’t care if it hurts.”

“And screw whatever Itch was trying to say. Trust me, I listened to him talk for hours about his shitty beliefs. Oh, sure,” Shuuichi sighed, rolling his eyes, “It all made a lot of sense to me on the pollen. But looking back at it? It’s just...so unrealistic. And so...fucking self-centered...there are happy people in the world…it’s not misery for literally everyone.”

Shuuichi’s brow furrowed, frowning...before amending quietly to himself, “I mean, statistically, it has to happen sometimes.”

“Itch is just...incredibly high on his own bullshit.” Kokichi sighed, disappointed. “His perspective is too narrow and he refuses to look outside of it. He said his justification for ‘knowing the world is rotten’ is that he’s in it, as if any person is any one static thing. As if good and bad are things you are. But instead of taking responsibility for his own choices, he has simply opted to call himself evil and refuses to change while crying out at the world, wondering why bad things are happening.”

Kokichi sighed again, curling up on the couch and leaning against Shuuichi a little. “I hope someone can get through to him. And hopefully he’ll get to get more perspective with age…”

Side-eyeing Shuuichi a little, Kokichi was quiet for a moment before choosing to comment. “...tragedy happens. Death is inevitable, and thus loved ones leave. Natural disasters happen, leaving homes and crops destroyed. And then, as disappointing as it is, people have goals that put them at odds.”

“However...people choose to live on, stronger for having known people who’ve since passed. Seeing the world in different ways because of them. Creating and improving to make life better, since it inevitably ends. We rebuild from disaster, taking comfort in the love of community. And...sometimes the disaster gives way to new growth. A flood that re-fertilizes fields. People at odds, in good cases, leading to competition and rivalry, making each participant reach heights they never would’ve gotten to on their own. In bad cases...resentment and hatred, but...others aren’t sequestered away from what’s happening. And they band together with their chosen and you find a new type of love.”

Kokichi closed his eyes and leaned against Shuuichi a little more. “Spring always comes. You might’ve heard people say that here, right? No matter how horrible things may get...if you’re willing to work and care and love, happiness is always there to follow. And if enough people work and care and love, the happiness overrules any tragedy by a longshot.”

“I haven't, actually,” Shuuichi admitted, “Heard anyone say the ‘spring’ thing yet. I don’t really spend time with any Diceans other than you and Mi-Nao, with you and Nao.”

And if she believed things like that? She had never told him. He couldn’t even imagine her saying something like that. It would have probably frightened him, to hear her say something so hopeful. Like he was being set up for something.

“‘Spring always comes’...it’s a nice phrase,” he said quietly, before offering Kokichi a smile. “I like it. It’s optimistic.”

Kokichi paused, waiting to see if anything would come out of Shuuichi talking about Nao, but… He hummed softly, giving Shuuichi a gentle smile. “I’ve always been fond of it, more than the ones my father spread, and not just because he’s the one who’s said them. It’s just...inevitable things aren’t always bad, you know? To me, sometimes it feels really important to remember that.”

He sipped his tea a little more before letting out a small huff of a laugh. “I know this isn’t really the time to worry about it...but I worry about you guys socializing like...all the time. I love being friends with you but...I don’t want to be your only Dicean friend, you know? But I’ve just been telling myself...things like this take time. And rushing you guys will only hurt. And your social circles are growing...Hajime...Seiko...Katsuki and Lake now...Tim has Cali and he’s warming up to Haneda...Nadya’s just here for a job, but I’m hoping that she has an easier time soon. She’s really nice, weird speech and all.”

Shuuichi gave Kokichi a concerned look, and thought about it… “I guess technically… I mean, it’s weird to think of Seiko and Hajime as ‘friends’. I wanted Seiko to be, when I first met her. I actually had really liked her, but...well, you know. It got weird. I’m not sure I’ll ever really see her that way again.”

“And, Hajime...my first time ever really having a one on one interaction with him was...also very weird...we never bring it up with each other, but...it was kind of uncomfortable. It makes it kind of weird to be around him,” Shuuichi admitted, not really realizing this was true until he said it. He was always mildly uncomfortable around Hajime. The guy had just...seen him in one of his worst states, several times now. 

“I don’t really know Lake and Katsuki is kinda difficult to get to know...I like Nadya,” Shuuichi decided, feeling a little better about that. “She’s nice, and has, just...reaaaally handled us constantly interrupting her work with drama really well. And, she talks really formal, but, well...for meeting someone new, that was kinda normal back in Luminary. Being overly polite, you know? I’m comfortable with that kind of talk,” Shuuichi said with a shrug.

Kokichi nodded, a slightly sad, tired look crossing into his eyes for a moment. He understood what Shuuichi meant very well, if from different circumstances, but...what hurt most was… In another universe, Nao might’ve been in the same camp as Seiko. She really seemed like the kind of person Shuuichi could’ve found a friend in, but...there was no chance for that anymore. 

They’d never explained anything graphically but...he just felt kind of sick, thinking about what Nao had done to Shuuichi. And...it just hurt more, when he placed that side by side with his dear aunt who had never coddled him from scary stories or frightening truths. People had multitudes in them and...what she had done was just one of hers, he supposed. 

Kokichi gave Shuuichi a smile as he gave his thoughts on their coworker and he leaned over to place a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Like I said...it’s not really an important thing to focus on right now, but I hope to get to know Nadya-chan better, and I hope you find more friends here. That, one day, this place will feel more like home.”

In a moment, Shuuichi’s mind flashed back to the brewery. Sitting on the floor, staring in bewilderment, fighting his disappointment but...amazed because something was happening that he had thought was impossible by that point. One of his friends, just...appearing. Tracking him down. Fighting for him. Bringing him back to the castle. Bringing him…

“You, Kaito, and Maki are home,” Shuuichi said simply. The truth in that statement, as silly and melodramatic as it was, obvious and absolute to him. No doubt in it at all. The internal equations long done. “So...so long as you all are here?” Shuuichi shrugged. Sipping his weird vanilla orange tea. “It does.”

Kokichi blinked over at Shuuichi in surprise before his cheeks flushed. With a soft giggle, he tucked his face against Shuuichi’s arm, hiding the grin on his face. “...you’re really cute.”

He hid for a few more moments, too flustered to do anything else, before he looked back up, a calmer but still adoring look on his face. “I wish I could say something as sweet as that, and, well, I could, but it’d be a lie. This castle is my home. Kai-chan and Maki-chan might have other places like that for them, but...I’ll always try to at least make this a nice place to be. And maybe someday we can go to their homes too.”

-

“You worry too much, my lady,” Aurelia said with a fond smile, pouring some tea into a long, tall traveling cup, perfect for avoiding spills while in a carriage. Though, the roads in Dicea were quite nice, so far, and any rattling was just what you had to expect from being pulled by horses. 

“Maybe,” the duchess smiled back, though that slight worry in her expression hadn’t faded. “But to move to such a place filled with humans and vampires and who knows what else...I worry about Lythalia. There was news of a human healer’s pharmacy almost being burned down a few weeks ago! In the capital city! Imagine if some vampire discovers her and uses that incident as a cover to burn her home down? I just want to give her a visit, see what kind of support system she has there...any parent would do the same.”

Passing over the cup, the maid and bodyguard sat back down, laughing lightly. “I suppose so. And with how much Lady Thalia hates talking through the hivemind, I suppose this is the best way to see for yourself, correct? Well, we’ll make it to Usot soon, and you can have a wonderful visit with your daughter, ma’am. I’ll ask some of the locals about places to see--if any are still around from when your husband traveled Dicea, I feel like they could be a nice bonding experience.”

Duchess Izais’ gaze went far away for a moment, longing for a person no longer there. “...that would be lovely, Aurelia, thank you. I feel like it would almost be like Suzu was with us…”

-

“...Maki, look, I’m really sorry...I don’t know what came over me, I-”

“You can apologize by literally doing the one thing I’m asking you to do,” Maki said from the other side of the door, “Which is come with me to the medbay. It’s time, Kaito, you either need to come out on your own or I’m dragging you out.”

“Why!? I just...can’t you leave me alone!? I’ll come out later, I promise, I just...Maki, I’m literally covered in blood right now, I can’t go walking around the castle like this in the middle of the fucking day! People already think I’m a-”

“Healers aren’t going to be freaked out by a little blood, and frankly, anyone else can faint for all I care. Kaito...Shuuichi just told you he was pregnant and you screamed at him. Kokichi just fainted at the sight of you and you just looked at him like he was bothering you-”

“I know! I know, okay, that’s what I mean when I say I just need a little more time, okay!? Something...something’s wrong with me...I’m angry all the time, Maki! A-and I just need more time with Atua to get my head straight! I don’t need to go to medical so they can stitch up some cuts I can already stitch myself-”

“That’s not why I’m taking you to medical, Kaito,” Maki said, sighing as she ran a hand over her face. She wasn’t...certain if telling him was a good idea. But...if Kaito was being changed by spores and didn’t know it? It wasn’t like Shuuichi’s situation. He wasn’t...knowingly addicted to despair pollen. He didn’t seem to have any desire to go out and find any of his own. So...maybe it would be okay to let him know that this was the problem they were trying to solve? Maybe he wouldn’t panic, like Shuuichi would if he knew he was eating nothing but placebos now. 

Arguing with herself, she finally settled on...yes, she could tell him. He didn’t know, so...he wasn't in the same situation as Shuuichi. He wasn’t ‘hiding it’. He very likely didn’t know. So…

“We’re going to get you a blood test, Kaito,” Maki said, “We think you might have spores inside of you. Despair pollen.”

There was silence for a moment. Maki, for a second, wondered if Kaito was just ignoring her...but then there was laughter. A barking, surprised sound. Incredulous.

“What? Why?” Kaito asked, laughing some more. The tone entirely mocking. “I yell at Kokichi and Shuuichi once, and what? I have to be being literally morphed by a foriegn fungal parasite? I’m literally not allowed to lose my temper on them one time without being fucking drug tested? Are you serious!?”

“We’re not basing this entirely on one incident, Kaito.” Okay, maybe they were a little, but, looking back on the last few weeks...Kaito had been losing his temper on things a lot lately. Maki had rationalized it as being, well...life kinda having a massive dump on her friend's chest lately and him just responding accordingly, but...but not today. Not watching his husband faint like it didn’t bother him and making it out like Shuuichi was to blame and should be embarrassed for getting pregnant, after conceiving literally high as shit on pollen, in a situation where Kaito should have known better.

And...Maki was, honestly? Kind of hoping this could link back to other situations where...Kaito should have known better.

Maybe what he had done to Kokichi wasn’t related. Maybe it was. Either way-

“We don’t know if you are actually infected. But, considering everything that happened to Shuuichi, even if there’s just a slim possibility...I’m getting tested too. So is Timothy and Kokichi. We’re all getting tested Kaito. You need to come out and do yours.”

“...I don’t believe you.”

“What!?” Maki snarled.

Inside his shrine, Kaito was worrying his joints, looking at Kokichi’s pictures on the wall. Looking at his saints. Just feeling...paranoid. Angry. As he said, “I think you’re lying. I think I lost my temper on them and now you...did I fail? Have I failed? Is that what this is all about? I missed the therapy appointments and I’ve only gotten worse a-and it’s gotten...kinda really bad in the last few days...so I failed? And you’re taking me to them, Maki? Maki-roll. Is that what’s happening!?”

“Them? Who the fuck is them!? What them!?”

“The fucking people who are gonna take me away! I don’t know! Them!! Fuck off, Maki, it’s not fair! I...I would have kept going if I wasn’t told I could stop! I even asked, I would have kept going! I’m being set up to fail, I…” Kaito frowned...eyes widening. “...did Kokichi set me up to fail?”

“Alright. You know what. Fuck this,” Maki muttered, turning her back on the door. She was going to go get Katsuki and Lake. And any other guard who could help. He was going to get this blood test. And, again...he better have spores in him or Maki was gonna lose it on him.

Inside, Kaito wrung his hands.

Had...Kokichi lied to him because he was hoping Kaito would fail?

Did he lie to get Kaito taken away?

Maki couldn’t actually think Kaito was on despair pollen. What, he’s been secretly taking doses for however long now!? When? How!? How was he supposed to have been taking Despair Pollen this whole time!? There was nothing to defend himself from there, it just wasn’t possible! He wasn’t crazy!

He was just…

(Evil, evil, evil, everyone knows the Momota family is evil, we ruined everything, we ruined the whole kingdom, we made up a god to enslave people, you’re evil, you’re actually fucking evil Kaito)

...mean. And feeling angry, right now. And he was going to apologize to Shuuichi and Kokichi! He was! He just...he just needed to calm down first. He couldn’t talk to them while he was this angry, he couldn’t, he was losing it.

It’s not like he didn’t want to be out there! 

He wanted to fuck Kokichi so bad.

And he wanted to be fucked by Shuuichi. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Shuuichi’s stupid long dick, just...god it would...it’d fuckin hurt...it was exciting...and Kokichi...taking those thin, sweet arms...bending them behind his back...maybe losing himself a little and maybe just ignoring it if Kokichi asked him to stop and just pushing his face into the mattress and-

(WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?)

Atua, Atua, he needed to pray, he needed this to stop, he needed Atua to interfere and make Kaito better, to make him his chosen again. Kaito felt so lost. Alone. They were going to send him away, and he was just going to get worse because every good thing he ever was and ever would be or ever could have been was due to Atua’s grace, Atua guiding him, making him better, better than his family, everyone knows the Momota family is evil, his friends, looking at him softly, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re the exception Kaito, you’re better, despite being a Momota you’re always so sweet Kaito despite being evil, evil, evil, everyone knows you should have been evil Kaito Atua help please…

Kaito shakily went to grab his dagger. Maybe this time the cut would work. Maybe this time the prayer would be heard. Maybe this time Atua would take the angry out and make Kaito sweet again, take away the evil, everyone knows all the Momotas are evil, Kaede (she told them you were crazy) hides it well, Byakuya (he’s just ‘reactive’ guys!) embraces it, the king is an idiot (how long does it take to fall from the tower?), the queen (“Hope she suffered as she went”) selfish and paranoid, but it’s okay, Kaito, you’re different, you’re sweet.

Only now he wasn’t, and he needed Auta to fix him, so he took a breath and, desperate, desperate, knowing Maki was coming back and they were going to take him away and he wasn’t going to get better (Kokichi are you sending me away?) alone in the woods somewhere, that you can’t make a Momota better, he took the dagger to his neck and thought manically, ‘Maybe I just need to pray more seriously’ and he pushed in and-

WHOA.

Uh.

CEASE, MY CHILD. 

Kaito stopped. The dagger's point dripping with blood, as he looked around. Almost...like, just more annoyed than anything as he looked around the shrine, like...who the fuck was interupting him? He was kinda in the middle of worship here… “Hello?”

PUT THE...PUT THE DAGGER DOWN, MY CHILD, AND...BEHOLD! FOR I SAYETH: CALMITH YOUR TITS. 

Kaito blinked at that...but slowly lowered his dagger, now just even more confused. “...Kokichi?”

NO? DO I SOUND LIKE...NO! IT IS I! YOUR GOD! AND LO, THE DIVINE BEING CAME AND-

“...I’m not fucking crazy. I know Atua doesn’t talk to people, whoever’s fucking...shouting through the walls or…?” Kaito looked around, trying to figure out where the source of the sound was coming from. Was it...it sounded like it was coming from his head, but...god dammit was he hearing voices again!? “...and you don’t sound like him anyway.”

DO YOU...KNOW WHAT ATUA, OR, WHAT I SOUND LIKE? ...HOLD ON.

Kaito suddenly froze, something…awful feeling happening inside of him. It was like...it was like his brain was being shifted through. Parts of himself that he didn’t even know you could touch suddenly...tingling and freezing and burning as something...moved inside of him and…

AH, I SEE. OKAY.

And the voice suddenly became...gentle. Like an adult speaking sweetly to a child they adored as it said, Everything is okay, Kaito.

I’m here now.

And I need you to do is what I say...so that I may save you.

It’s okay. I will not abandon you.

I love you very much.

Katsuki had only shown up at the tail end of what had happened that day months ago and...that was sort of by design. Whose design, she wasn’t really sure, but...Kokichi hadn’t wanted anyone to see Kaito, so Katsuki hadn’t. 

But Waku had, and the young woman had very few reservations about telling people all sorts of things. 

So when she had heard that Kokichi got tested for Despair Pollen? And that Maki needed help getting Kaito out of his closet? She could make a connection. And she could be who Maki needed her to be. 

She quietly followed the bodyguard up to the fourth floor, wondering if she should’ve brought rope, like Kokichi had requested that day.

Maki sighed, ready for a truly ugly exchange. Kaito needed to have this blood test. It needed to happen. If Maki needed to literally, actually drag him down there? Well, that was why she had asked Katsuki along. Kaito couldn’t be allowed to just...self destruct. Even if he wasn’t on spores (and fuck what was wrong with him if he wasn’t!?) the sheer ribbons he had cut himself into? Not to mention how he was treating others, and rambling about some vague…’them’?? Who!?

No. This couldn’t be allowed to continue. This wasn’t just Kaito being sad and needing time alone to work out his feelings. This was...again, the apt word was self-destruction. Something had to be done.

So Maki got to the door and knocked, saying, “Kaito! I don’t care what you’re doing right now. We’re going to the medbay now. I have the key to this closet with me,” well, it was actually the master key Kokichi had given her ages ago, but no one but Shuuichi and Kokichi knew she had that, soooo, “and Katsuki is here as well. This is happening, so-”

“Okay, okay! Just...putting on my shirt! One second!”

This...kind of caught Maki off guard, cutting off her speech and sort of leaving her standing there for a moment...before her eyes narrowed as the door unlocked, shoulders tensing as the door opened, prepared for a fight...and Kaito just stepped out. 

Looking a mess. Holy shit, she hadn’t really been paying attention before, distracted by Kokichi, but fuck he had torn himself apart...and he looked exhausted. Pale, with heavy bags under his eyes, and… “You reek,” Maki noted. Scrunching up her nose.

Kaito chuckled at that, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, but there is a bathroom in this hall, in the office next door? I come out at night to use that, but...well, no showers in there, so...I probably do stink, yeah,” he laughed. The action sounding...hollow. Forced.

Kaito looked over at Katsuki and gave her a tired grin, waving. “Hey! Long time no see, Katsuki? How’s everything in your world? Cryptic and slightly off-kilter as usual?”

Significant blood-loss, full body lacerations, poor hygiene...even if Prince Kaito didn’t need the blood test, he certainly needed a healer at this time. Giving the man a tight nod with her usual smile, Katsuki responded, “No abnormalities to report, other than your own practices, Prince Kaito Momota.”

She wasn’t convinced it would last, but she took a step back, opening her body language to coax Kaito towards the stairs. “We are here to escort you to the medical wing--do you require assistance?” Whether force or simply because he couldn’t stay upright.

Kokichi had explained that Maki gave him the suggestion to vacate the wing before Kaito showed up, and Katsuki had to agree. Seeing Kaito as he was would be distressing to Kokichi on multiple levels, from the sheer fact of body mutilation to the emotional impact of knowing his husband had done this to himself. Kokichi had said that he and Shuuichi were going to spend some time in the eastern garden, enjoying the rest of the afternoon while it was comfortably warm.

She hoped their day would be pleasant. 

Kaito chuckled. “Ahhh, there she is. That, just...total lack of personality. Don’t ever change, Katsuki.” 

Speak less, Kaito. 

Kaito felt his blood boil at that, but the voice...and it was just a voice. Kaito wasn’t crazy! He knew Atua didn’t talk to people. He was just...having a relapse or something...anyway, the voice was right. He...he needed to stay calm. If Maki was betraying him? Setting him up to be taken away? Kaito could run now, but, looking like he did? He wasn’t going to make it far...he was honestly fairly certain if he tried to run at all, in a very literal sense? He’d just collapse after a couple steps. So…

Running his hand through his hair (tangled and matted from lack of care) he said, “No, I don’t need help...we’re gonna do a blood test, huh? Okay...but I should probably take a shower before I go-”

“No. We’re going now. You can clean off in the emergency shower they have in the med wing,” Maki ordered, not trusting this at all. He had been ranting and raving when she left. And, what, now he was just fine? She didn’t buy it. “Blood test, then shower, then...we’ll work it out from there.”

“Hmmmm...hey, Maki?” Kaito said, looking curiously at the assassin. “...you know that pub that me and Kokichi took you and Shuuichi to that one time? We sat at that one table, talked about how me and him met?”

Maki’s eyes narrowed, confused what brought this up. “...yes?”

“Good.” Kaito grinned. And then, in his father’s voice, he said, “Maki: go sit at that table and eat a meal. Don’t leave that table until six tonight.”

Maki’s eyes widened for a second...and then narrowed. Glowering at him, as he just grinned back at her. Her fists clenched as she fought her body for a second.

...then she turned around and started heading down the hallway. Murderous intent radiating off her as she walked.

“Maki works too hard,” Kaito said to Katsuki, watching her go. “She needs to take more breaks. So...would you mind if I go take a shower first? I think it’d be offensive to go to the healers looking like this.” Kaito observed himself, looking down with distaste.

Katsuki just looked at Kaito for a moment, her expression unchanging but something...different. 

He had taken away Maki’s choices. Because she was the one who would temper his. Because something was wrong.

So, with a simple, “Yes,” the guard scooped Kaito up over her shoulder, immediately turning to carry him down to the medical wing. Once he was situated at the medical wing, she would find Kokichi and tell him where Maki was. Maybe he and Shuuichi could get a meal there instead, since surely Maki would come back once she had her choices given back. It might be better for them to be away from the castle at this time.

“HEY! GET OFF ME! FUCKING YOU...GOD DAMN POD PERSON GOBLIN! FUCKING-ow, ow, ow!” Kaito hissed, trying to pull away and then kick at the guardsman. How the fuck was she so strong!? It was like her body was just solid fucking muscle! And as he thrashed on her shoulder, cuts that had managed to close were opening up again, cuts that hadn’t closed in the first place dripping down the back of the fucking monster hoisting him around and onto the ground, stitches getting stretched, some coming undone. 

“Stop, stop! I was going to go, you don’t have to, FUCK YOU CAN’T TREAT ME LIKE THIS! I’M KAITO FUCKING MOMOTA! Put me DOWN you fucking MOOK!”

This is why I told you to speak less.

Stop talking, my child. 

If you are not calm, efforts to restrain you will get worse.

You cannot hope to get far in your state. 

They wish to send you away. Trap you.

Condition you.

If you do not play along now, they will succeed.

Heroes cannot allow villains to exist.

They will destroy you.

“Shut the FUCK UP!” Kaito screamed, so, so frustrated with the voice. It wasn’t Atua. Atua doesn’t talk to people! Kaito wasn’t crazy. He knew this! He knew Atua didn’t speak to people. So...what was happening!?

Calm yourself for the healers. 

Calm. Calm Kaito.

Mindfulness. Choose how you’ll react. Or they will choose for you.

Kaito...at least understood this. Steadying himself on Katsuki’s shoulder, closing his eyes to ignore the stares he was getting as they traveled, he started taking his breaths. Calm, calm, he had to be calm.

Katsuki paid no mind to Kaito’s yelling, though she tried to minimize his thrashing. He was opening up his cuts. She knew her reasoning was thin, but she did have a solid point to bringing him down to the medical wing by force. He took away someone’s autonomy, and in Dicean law, that was grounds for restraints. It was only that he hadn’t actually put Maki in harm’s way that she didn’t knock him out immediately. 

Eventually, though, Kaito calmed, though Katsuki didn’t believe that he was alright now. Whatever was wrong with the prince, it wasn’t so simply cured. 

Arriving in the medbay, she alerted the healers that Prince Kaito had impeded upon another’s autonomy and wasn’t to leave until his check-up was completed, Dr. Kimura giving the go-ahead. 

And then...off to the eastern garden, she supposed. Time to help Maki.

Seiko was adjusting and cleaning in one of the examination rooms, fretting in her head for whatever state Kaito would be in when Maki brought him in. And...personally...Shuuichi had been unkind while he was on spores, but nothing she couldn’t deal with. Kaito?

...she was glad they weren’t doing this in her pharmacy.

Kaito stared furiously at the green-haired doctor. “What?”

“Uh, ah! Um!” the skittish, excitable healer said, looking nervously at his fellow healers, who...frankly, all looked like they wanted nothing to do with this, the green-haired doctor having literally drawn the short straw to handle Kaito, who had been mumbling and grumbling to himself in a chair in the med wing ever since Guardswoman Katsuki had dropped him off about twenty minutes ago. 

The healers had, after realizing, oh, right, there were cuts everywhere under all that blood, started the process of cleaning off his cuts and seeing which ones needed stitches, starting the process of closing the wounds, but, there were a lot of cuts, and he refused to take off his clothes for them and growled anytime someone suggested forcing him out of his clothes, and not feeling justified to straight up restrain him yet, the healers had eventually resigned themselves to leave him bleeding on the chair, the cuts not actually life threatening, but...they would need to be dealt with. And they were just hoping he’d calm down in time to not allow the cuts to do any real damage, to let them help him.

(If it had been Kokichi? They wouldn’t have hesitated to hold him down, not worried about the tantrum. But Kaito didn’t have that history in this castle and...well? To be perfectly frank? Looked like a lot more effort to restrain. Which didn’t make the healers exactly jump at the idea of trying to do so.)

And Kaito was...calmer. But he kept looking around, like he was startled by something. Hearing something. And though no one could make out what he was saying, he kept murmuring things to himself. Each murmur sounding more and more annoyed. Having an argument with himself.

And now he was turning that heat on the green-haired healer, who said, “D-Dr. Kimura is ready to see you now!”

Kaito stared at him for a moment...before grinning. “Sire.”

“Uh...sorry?”

“Dr. Kimura is ready to see you now, sire,” Kaito said, the grin on his face mostly just...teeth. “Sire, meaning someone of high social status. Which I am. It’s respectful.”

The green-haired healer once again looked over at his fellow healers, who all just looked variations of exasperated, one of them just shrugging. “Um, yes! Well...sire? Dr. Kimura is ready to see you!”

Kaito got up. “Good,” he muttered, heading to the office.

Opening the door, he said as he walked in, “I need a shower, Seiko. No one will fucking let me into the showers.”

Seiko’s eyes widened at the state of Kaito but she just sighed. “Give me two minutes, Kaito, a-and you can take a shower. You can use one of the ones in this wing, or you can go back up to your room, though I hope you’ll be alright being escorted--you look like you’re about to fall over… Should I ask for some food to be sent up for you, o-or do you think you just want to sleep?”

Seiko tried to keep things casual, gesturing over to a seat Kaito could take as she brought the vials and needle over. If he really did have spores in him...then acting as dire as the situation might would...well, she didn’t know. But it likely wouldn’t be anything good. 

“Kokichi took the draw much better than I expected, honestly. Just held Shuuichi’s hand and looked away. Alright, could you extend your arm of choice out palm up, please?”

...Kokichi…

Kaito felt an ache in his heart for a second. He wished he had been there. Fuck. At least Shuuichi was taking care of it. God...hopefully Shuuichi wasn’t too stressed out right now. That probably wouldn’t be good for the- Kaito’s brow furrowed, thoughts of his lovers immediately leaving him as he scowled at the needle for a second, before rolling his eyes. “No. We’re not doing that.”

Giving Seiko an exasperated look, Kaito said, “Look, I only came down here because that gorilla Katsuki thinks Maki knows better...everyone thinks Maki knows better.” Kaito grumbled, “But I’m obviously not on spores, and, frankly? I don’t even buy that’s the reason she wanted me out here. Okay? I’m not crazy, Seiko. And I’m not letting you put whatevers in that needle into my fucking body.”

Kaito. Calm. Get what you need.

Kaito took a breath, before looking at Seiko sympathetically. “Okay, look...I get it. You're under a lot of pressure to do this. But Seiko...I just need a shower and a new set of clothes. That’s all I need. And all I need from you? Is to tell those idiots outside to let me out. And no, I don’t need an escort. I can go up to my room myself. Anything that happens beyond that? Not your responsibility. Just tell them I’m good to go.”

Seiko frowned, now seeing what Maki had meant about Kaito acting off. Holding up the needle, Seiko pointed out the parts. “Kaito, there’s nothing in this--it’s a drawing needle. You see how the stopper is at the bottom? And the idea that spores can lay dormant in people is a loose one, I admit, but for everyone’s health, it’s what I’m double-checking.”

Giving him a tired look, she sighed. “Two minutes, I get a sample from you, then you can be on your way, alright? If you say that you are steady enough to go to your room, I’ll trust you to know your limits.”

Take the deal, Kaito.

Kaito hesitated, looking at the...drawing needle. It...it did look like there wasn’t anything in there...could the needle itself be dosed with something? Something that will knock him out for them to take him away? Shuuichi would know (Shuuichi is pregnant!?) if something like that was possible...he wondered if Shuuichi knew he was being taken away…

TAKE THE DEAL, KAITO.

Kaito winced. Shut up… “No escort?” he asked suspiciously, “I get to just go?”

Seiko nodded. “I will believe you if you believe you can make it to your room, though I think I will ask someone to send some food up soon. Even if you don’t feel faint, you are quite pale and the number of lacerations in your body is...concerning.”

“Shower, eat, rest--I only wish for you to take care of yourself, Kaito. But you can do that as you see fit.” She...didn’t think it was such a good idea for him to be on his own, but there were plenty of people around, and if he tried to hurt someone or leave the castle without reason? There would be people around to stop him. Knowing decisively if he was on the spores or not was important for how they’d handle him in the future.

Still just showing him the empty needle, she sighed. “May I take a sample?”

Kaito frowned, looking suspiciously at her for another moment...before sighing. “Yeah, alright. Just...don’t knock me out, okay? I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”

Handing her his left hand, he waited for her to do what she needed to do, not wincing as the needle pushed into his wrist. As Seiko worked, he said, “...Shuuichi’s pregnant?”

The draw only needed a minute or so, but Seiko still watched it carefully, making sure she wouldn’t be taking blood Kaito’s body so desperately needed at the moment. And...she just hoped he would stay still long enough to keep it a safe procedure.

“He is. About three and a half weeks now. There was an announcement in the paper today, and an official one from the castle; it’s not very fair to Shuuichi, but for his safety, it’s better to get out ahead of any rumors. It’s explained that he’s acting as a surrogate for your and Kokichi’s first child, and you three will raise the child as a polycule, since I don’t think you’ve seen the announcement.”

“...you all should have told me first,” Kaito said, genuinely confused why...was he literally the last person to know? “I don’t understand why more of an effort wasn’t made to keep me informed. Especially in regards to someone who belongs to…”

Kaito stopped.

(...something is wrong with me.)

(Something is wrong.)

Focus on what you need, Kaito. 

Shuuichi’s going to be taken care of.

You need to take care of yourself.

“...I really did try to make it work, Seiko,” Kaito sighed, feeling tired. “I really tried. I just...this was never going to...I’m not suited for…”

Staring at the blood going into her needle, he said sincerely, “I wish I hadn’t been sent away from Luminary...I want to go home.”

“I told Shuuichi first, as it is his body and his child,” Seiko explained, sympathetic to this issue, at least. “And once he made his decision on what to do, I accompanied him to tell Kokichi and Maki. He...said you were in a closet? And that it was ‘a thing’, so...honestly, I don’t know why they didn’t tell you after that. That’s something you need to ask your friends.”

Putting a stopper in the sample and gently removing the needle from Kaito’s body, Seiko applied pressure with a weaved cotton square as she got the appropriate bandage out, silent as Kaito said some things that… “...if you feel that way, then that’s a conversation you need to have with Kokichi, Kaito. I’m sorry. I’ll let you and the others know the results of the blood tests as soon as I can.”

Making sure at least the small puncture she’d made was taken care of, Seiko took a step back, giving Kaito a sympathetic look. “You’re free to go, Kaito. Please get some rest.”

Kaito looked at her for a moment...Kaito sighed, nodding. Feeling tired. Getting up, he headed out. 

There was a moment where he was afraid he had been tricked, a large man standing by the door. But the man moved away from the door when he saw Kaito coming by, talking to one of the healers about feeling vaguely flu-y and asking if they had any spare masks he could take with him. Beyond that? Nothing.

Heading out, ignoring the looks and occasionally gasps at his appearance, Kaito quickly headed up to his room...or at least he tried to be quick at first. He got a little dizzy by the second staircase and had to slow down, but he did get up there eventually.

It was weird, to see his...Kokichi’s room again. How long had he actually been in his shrine? A couple of days, right? He hadn’t meant to be in there so long. He had really meant to come out...a while ago. Maybe if he had, he wouldn’t have failed. Maybe Maki wouldn’t be trying to get him sent away. Maybe he’d feel better…

...but, in a way, he was relieved.

He had a reason.

An excuse. 

He really, really wanted to go, when all was said and done. Had been unhappy here, for so long...and the future just looked...worse. Shuuichi pregnant? God, Kaito didn’t want to deal with that. What, take care of his constantly sick husband, and his panic-attack prone, drug-addict boyfriend, and a baby!? God, what a nightmare...Kaito didn’t want to take care of these people. They were burdens, weighing him down. He just wanted to escape them.

(Then why does it hurt?)

(It hurts it hurts don’t leave them please!)

Ugh, and Maki. What a nightmare she was! God, how had he put up with it this whole time!? She just...didn’t know her fucking place. Always thinking Kaito would ko-tow to her, always making demands and plans and what was on her fucking wall!?

Quickly taking a shower, Kaito got out and, feeling only a little fizzy, started the process of closing up the last of his wounds using their first aid box. It was a lot, and by the time he was done, he had needed to wipe and wash himself down again...but at least he was good. Okay. Okay.

New set of clothes. Black jeans, boots, a clean shirt, and the...the jacket Kokichi had gotten him...had drawn him in…

(Stop, stop, stop)

...putting it on with a sigh.

“...maybe I should stay…” Kaito muttered, looking miserably around the room. He felt so...conflicted. He wanted to go. He wanted to go so bad.

But he didn’t want to leave them.

He wished he could just...take them with him. Just grab all of them and throw them into a caravan and just run. Just go. No Luminary. No Dicea. Just...somewhere different, where they didn’t have all of their baggage, where they could get a new start, like-

Danganronpa?

Kaito frowned. ...No, not there…

Why not? 

What, land of despair pollen and weird medical laws? No, no, he should go back to Luminary. He only wanted a third destination if he could, just...take them with him. But...but that was unrealistic. He was going to be sent away soon, he was certain, though he wasn’t sure when it was happening now. And, they would never agree to go with him. They would never agree to-

Why not just take one then?

For the road?

For instance...the pregnant one?

Actually, yeah….the pregnant one. You and him should go to Danganronpa.

Kaito frowned at that. But...he wanted Kokichi too…

You can’t kidnap the heir apparent to Dicea. 

He...he wasn’t planning to kidnap anyon-

But, the Luminary Prince leaving with the father of his child? That makes sense. I doubt the Diceans would even stop you.

...Shuuichi...wouldn’t want to go…

Shuuichi belongs to you, doesn’t he? 

Does it matter?

Kaito blinked at the floor. Re-thinking his options.

Sitting down on the bed.

-

“...Disregard all missions.”

Kokichi hadn’t been that surprised when he saw Katsuki--who had changed out her jacket, not wanting to frighten Kokichi--, figuring she wanted to let him know how Kaito’s visit with Seiko had gone. But when she’d told him what he did to Maki… 

Kokichi wanted to disbelieve it. Think about how Kaito could possibly do that to her… But he’d seen him do it before. Back on that awful day, when she had just walked towards him. How he had screamed at her, how her body had frozen, how he had ripped apart the letter in a panic.

Kokichi knew it wasn’t totally Kaito’s fault but...for people he loved so much...he sure didn’t act like it sometimes. ...he really wished it was the pollen. 

They’d hurried down to Sakura’s pub, spotting Maki immediately, practically stabbing at her plate, that intense aura all around her. And Kokichi had gone up to her and…

Well, that’s where they were now.

He hated...having to talk to her like that. But it was the only way to give Maki back herself. This...was what he was supposed to protect her from in Kaede’s plan. ...it felt like slime in his throat.

Maki stared blankly at him right up until he finally relieved her orders...took in a deep breath...and then sighed.

“...Kokichi? Can I have the rest of the day off?” Maki asked.

Kokichi had just been about to agree before he paused. “Er...could you walk us back to the castle? And then, yeah, you can have the day off.” 

It wasn’t exactly that he was feeling unsafe, but...with everything going on, he’d feel better having another person walk them back to the castle. Just in case. 

Maki breathed in through her nose...out through her mouth…

“Okay. Just give me a moment.”

Getting up, she went over to the counter, ignoring the intense look the barkeep was giving her, which she had been giving her since Maki had walked in. “I need...I’d like to buy that bottle of Harpers Scotch,” she said, pointing to the one behind the counter.

The buff barkeep raised an eyebrow, looking back to see what she was talking about. “...it’d be cheaper if you bought it from a store,” she warned her.

“I’m here. I’m buying it from you,” Maki said simply. Looking tired.

Taking the scotch, paying way too much for it, she went back to Kokichi and Shuuichi and said, “...okay. Let’s go.”

Kokichi gave his friend a soft, slightly sad look but nodded. “...I’m sorry, Maki-chan. Hopefully… We’ll find an answer soon. A thread. And...we’ll figure out a way to help Kai-chan. He...he’d never do any of this normally…”

He knew they knew. And he knew that he knew Kaito the least, but by now...there wasn’t that worry that this was just how Kaito was because...he wasn’t. This was...completely different from how Kaito was. And it was scary but...it meant that something was wrong, so there was something they could do.

Still, Kokichi felt ashamed for his husband, fiddling with his sleeves as they walked.

Shuuichi looked at the scotch in Maki’s hands as they walked...and suddenly laughed. Lowering his cap.

“Oh no...I had really wanted to drink with you the other day, Maki. Like, enough that I asked Kaito to buy us liquor. And now...ugh.”

“You can’t drink, Shuuichi,” Maki said dryly.

“I know. That’s why I’m so disappointed. What terrible timing…”

“If I don’t incapacitate myself,” Maki said simply, staring blankly ahead of herself, barely even looking around. Just something...depressed on her face, “...I’m going to kill him. For real. Not just playing or angry or...well, yes, angry but...I’m so...so upset right now… I walked down here, and every step I took made me want to kill him more...I know something is wrong with him, Kokichi. I know. But I am...so angry...”

Kokichi sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry… Like...I knew he was struggling but...it didn’t even occur to me that it’d be something worse. Would have the capacity to get this bad. I kind of hope it’s the spores, as awful as that is, ‘cause he can at least take the medicine, but other than that? I don’t know how to help him… I don’t know what to do…”

They’d talked. They’d gone out of town. Kaito had gone to therapy. He’d spent days praying. And...none of his assurances helped. None of his attempts to get Kaito to open up helped. Nothing helped. And Kokichi...he loved Kaito so much...but he didn’t know what to do.

Shuuichi looked over at his boyfriend, feeling a little...deflated at Kokichi’s hint of hopelessness. And, wanting to help, he reached out to hold Kokichi’s hand, gently squeezing it as he said to him quietly, “It’s okay...we’re gonna get through this. And...even if it’s not spores, th-then it's probably something else. Even if he’s just, I don’t know...going crazy? I promise, Kokichi, we’ve known him since he was ten...Kaito’s not like this. It’s definitely something that can be fix-”

“Oh my god! Prince Kokichi, is this your surrogate!? Congratulations!” A woman, genuinely trying to be nice, stepped into their path, looking excited as she said to Shuuichi, “You’re Shuuichi Saihara, right? Is it true you’re from Luminary?”

There had clearly been other people who had recognized the couple walking down the street, but seeing someone else approach them first sort of let in the flood. A man approached from their right and said, “So, is it too early to tell the sex of the baby?” And a man beside him saying eagerly, “Hey, Prince Kokichi? Any feelings yet? Do we have an heir coming up?”

An older woman from the other side of him frowned at that, saying, “Oh, no, the Ouma family wouldn’t put us through that twice in a row. Prince Kokichi, you’re not going to name the baby the heir, are you? Goodness knows we don’t need those LRG maniacs returning, on top of Remnants...”

Most of the people now circling around them were smiling, thrilled with the new bit of good news or gossip, wanting to get sight of the newly announced couple, but there were a few...harder looks, coming from the crowd as well. Pairs of two or three hanging in the back, whispering to each other, giving Shuuichi suspicious looks. Some looking openly repulsed at this new development in the royal family, not trying to hide their displeasure even a little bit.

At all this attention, Shuuichi hid further under his cover, just sorta mentally checking out, and Maki was looking around the crowd looking more and more annoyed, bordering on increasingly furious. Heat starting to generate off of her as she clutched her bottle of scotch like a weapon.

Kokichi squeezed Shuuichi’s hand gently, glancing up with a small smile, thankful for his reassurance. He knew it was hard to be positive about this, to look at what could be done with hope. He was practiced in that role, and wanted to provide that guidance for his friends, but… In this lapse, he was thankful for Shuuichi stepping up. 

Though he was...less thankful for the others who stepped up. 

A little startled at the sudden crowd, Kokichi dithered for a moment as more and more people came forward and… Okay. Time to be a leader again. Squeezing Shuuichi’s hand and placing a light hand on Maki’s shoulder, he gave the crowd a smile. “Thank you all for your congratulations, but what was in the announcement is really all we know at this time. I’m sure there will be plenty of updates as time goes on, but for now, especially considering the circumstances around my own birth, we wanted to get out ahead of any rumors.”

“Shuuichi is, just, unfathomably kind to surrogate, and there isn’t a better person Kaito and I could’ve asked to father our first child--this goes beyond trust and friendship. Really, I hope everyone finds someone like him in their life--it’s a wonderful feeling.” Reminding his people of the bonds of community, of offering kindness to others, and a reminder of the horrific violence that surrounded his own birth...he hoped it’d be enough for the time being. That they could chew on that for a while until...they could figure stuff out more. 

Taking a small, shuffling step towards the castle, he gave the crowd an apologetic smile. “I wish we could stay and chat, but we have some business to attend to back home. There’s...quite a lot going on today, as you might imagine.” He laughed sheepishly, trying to usher his friends through the excited people around them.

Everything Kokichi was saying was incredibly kind, but Shuuichi couldn’t help but feel like...he just felt exposed. And, a little bit like he was being sold, and he just wanted to get back to the castle. 

Thankfully, the crowd was making room for Kokichi, recognizing that their prince was done addressing them, now just excitedly talking to one another. The murmur followed them for a while, but Maki finally took a breath when the street cleared and the three of them had easy access forward. “...that better not become common,” she scowled, looking back over her shoulder with open frustration, “I didn’t realize how useful it was that no one apparently knew what you looked like before you started ‘officially’ coming to town. Or, at least were willing to call you out on it…”

“....maybe I should dye my hair,” Shuuichi muttered.

Kokichi gave his friends an apologetic look, a bit more sincere than the one he gave the crowd. He did love his people but...he just wanted to go home. For things to be okay. “...I think it’s just a novelty since no one really could stop and talk to me as the heir before,” he sighed. “And...since I don’t go to court that often… People are used to coming by during the day or stopping by for a meal and chatting with Aiichi, but they’re not really used to seeing me. Maybe I should go to court more so this doesn’t happen as much…”

He didn’t mind court, really. It was just what he did with the letters, but in person. He just...felt more productive with the letters usually, able to take his time and consider his words and advise, researching until the best answer came to him. But if people wanted to talk with him personally...he kind of preferred it would be in a situation he was expecting to be talked to. Not with his shy boyfriend and overprotective bodyguard, out running errands.

...or rectifying issues his maybe afflicted husband made. 

Kokichi sighed again. 

Heading back to the castle, Maki thought that the stares and whispers would ease up among the castle inhabitants, because, well...it usually did? Prince Kokichi was a novelty out in town, but was personally familiar with almost everyone in the castle, and people usually just gave him warm smiles more than anything too invasive.

Today, though?

They walked into the castle and almost immediately the eyes on them were almost...palpable. And it wasn’t...it wasn’t looks of congratulations. Not even one of them. As they walked into the front hall, every eye on them was...full of concern. People whispering to each other, some people literally stopping what they were doing, openly staring at them.

It was Kirumi who approached them, quickly, looking more disturbed than Maki had ever seen her (but not as disturbed as Shuuichi remembered she could be) as she bowed her head lightly to Prince Kokichi and said, a sense of urgency in her voice, “Prince Kokichi. Are you okay? Do you require anything? Anything I can do to assist?”

Kokichi blinked up at Kirumi, his slight worried look growing as she actually approached him, which was more concerning than just the looks. Rumors were rumors, but when they sparked action?

Frowning in worried confusion, he asked the older woman, “I’m fine? Did something happen?”

“If this is about me fainting earlier, I’m alright. I usually just need a second to reorient myself,” he reassured, trying to offer a small, kind smile. Hajime had been pretty worried about it so...maybe he’d mentioned to the staff to be on the lookout for him? If he was feeling unwell that day? It was a nice gesture, but he was okay. “I’m not even feeling light-headed or anything--I’m alright.”

“Are you okay, Kirumi-chan? If something happened that disturbed you…” And...he could certainly think of something in particular, “I’ll do my best to help out.”

She paused, crossing her hands over her skirt, looking briefly at Shuuichi and Maki with almost...wary suspicion, before returning to looking at Kokichi with open concern. “Kokichi, I...everyone’s been talking about it. Prince Kaito was carried from the fourth floor to the second by Guardswoman Katsuki, screaming his head off and looking like he was-” Kirumi remembered herself for a second, calming herself, not wanting to trigger Kokichi’s nausea as she reconsidered her wording, “...he was looking gravely injured. Like he was tortured. Between that and the announcement and you leaving for town among all of this…”

Kirumi sighed, collecting herself. “We are all just...concerned. Are you certain there is nothing you need assistance with? We tracked your husband, he returned to your room, if you would like me to-” Kirumi’s mouth pressed into a frustrated line, “-prepare and introduce a different room for him tonight.”

Maki’s eyes narrowed at this, her fists clenching...but she was still so angry at Kaito that she couldn’t quite bring herself to defend him at this moment. And Shuuichi refused to look Kirumi in the eye, and was also avoiding the gaze of everyone else in the room.

Kokichi deflated a bit. He supposed if Kaito hadn’t gotten to clean up before going to see Seiko...yeah, that would be concerning. Smiling a little sadly at Kirumi, Kokichi shook his head. “I...I’m sorry about that. On Kai-chan’s behalf and mine. And I know this sounds suspicious as hell but...that doesn’t have anything to do with the announcement today.”

“Kai-chan...well, you know he’s been in his shrine, right? He’s been taking...I guess you would call it an extended vigil? And that involves prayer, and prayer for him involves...bloodletting. And...he’s kind of overdone it. He’s still amid his vigil and...not doing that well so...I’m sorry it got to that point and worried everyone…”

Thinking over what Kirumi said, Kokichi perked up a bit, worried about how Kaito would act, but if he was in their room...if it wasn’t spores, maybe he could talk with him? Try to understand just what on earth was going on. “Thank you for the offer, but if he hasn’t returned to his shrine, I’m actually pretty excited to see my husband again. I’ll try to let everyone know what’s going on soon, but...I’d like to talk with him first. Thanks for letting me know what happened, Kirumi-chan.”

“No, that’s a terrible ide-”

“Prince Kokichi, I cannot advise you to-”

“Uhhhhh, maybe we shouldn-”

Kirumi, Maki, and Shuuichi all looked at each other in surprise for a moment, all of them having tried to talk at once, a moment of discomfort as they tried to work out who was actually going to talk first...before Shuuichi lowered his cap.

Then Maki and Kirumi both tried talking at once, and it was Kirumi who huffed in annoyance, sheer politeness forcing her to stop as Maki kept going, “Kokichi, Kaito might be dangerous right now. I don’t know if spending any time with him right now is a good idea. The last time he was on spores, he came at you with a sword.”

“Spores?” Kirumi asked, looking confused by this, which was the only reason Shuuichi was able to step in before her.

“I mean...maybe. I know when it was me, it was sometimes...easier? To control myself when people I...didn’t want to disappoint were around. Like, don’t get me wrong, the stressor stuff really makes it hard to control yourself, but...there were certain things that hurt so much that...or maybe it was stuff that scared me in a way that didn’t cause the right kind of stress? I don’t know, but sometimes it helped to have people I cared about around…”

Kirumi just looked more and more confused now, looking between the two Luminaries...before realizing, oh. Spores. They must mean the Despair Pollen. Admittedly, she wasn’t entirely familiar with the medicinal side of that whole event. Just knew from rumors and a few open files on a few open desks that it had been a dangerous poison that had almost killed Shuuichi.

Kokichi sighed. “I know...but I want to try to talk to him, at least. The worst thing right now would be for him to try and go through this alone… I know you guys said that’s how he processes stuff, but if it’s more than that? I don’t want to just...abandon him.”

Looking at the three people looking out for his well-being (and maybe for Kaito’s? Two at least) Kokichi sighed again. “You all can come with me if you want? And if he’s still acting weird and violent, then I’ll leave. I don’t wanna just...knock him out like last time, but if it comes to that…” He shook his head a little, running his fingers through uneven ends. “...I don’t know. Hopefully Seiko can finish analysing the samples soon.”

Maki looked longingly down at her bottle of scotch...before sighing. She wasn’t really off the job, just because she had asked for the day off. She was never really off the job...so she sighed and nodded her head. “Agreed. Shuuichi and I will accompany you. It’d probably help for all three of us to be there, anyway.”

“I will also accompany you,” Kirumi said.

Shuuichi looked nervous at this, but Maki just raised an eyebrow at her. “Um...no? Kaito hates you, in case you weren’t aware. You’ll just antagonize him.”

Kirumi actually looked somewhat offended by this, before her features calmed. “Prince Kaito is in a disturbed state of mind at the moment, and it would be prudent to ensure someone is there with Prince Kokichi’s safety as a top priority. Specifically, a Dicean, who didn’t literally come to this kingdom as Prince Kaito’s personal entourage.”

Now Maki looked offended, though her face didn’t calm as she said, “I am literally Kokichi’s personal bodyguard...his safety is my top priority, Dicean or not.”

“And, uh...technically, we’re all Dicean…” Shuuichi said quietly, not saying but thinking to himself somewhat sarcastically, ‘And, ya know...Luminary too, Kirumi.’

That was news to Kokichi. He raised an eyebrow back at Maki, but...now probably wasn’t the best time for that conversation. He could ask Maki about it later, preferably when they had a plan for how to help Kaito.

Which fighting among themselves wouldn’t help at all. 

Drawing himself up a bit, Kokichi nodded. “Shuu-chan’s right, and while I appreciate that you’re looking out for me, Kirumi-chan, I did hire Maki-chan for...kind of the exact and explicit purpose of my personal safety. I trust in her to prioritize my safety if Kai-chan gets violent, which we don’t even know for sure he’ll do.”

Turning to head to the stairs, Kokichi smiled back at his friends. “If you’re worried about it, Kirumi-chan, you can come with us, but I think the fewer people the better for Kai-chan’s sake. If you would like to come, I’d ask for you to wait in the hall, if that’s alright?”

Again, that look of offense shot across Kirumi’s face, bordering on outrage...but she quickly tempered it, nodding. “Yes, of course, Prince Kokichi. As you wish.”

Shuuichi just looked relieved, and Maki looked...admittedly a tad smug, the three of them following Kokichi up the stairs. 

Getting to the princes’ room, Maki opened her door on the way and tossed in her bottle of scotch, once again giving it a longing look...before closing the door, catching up with the others as they got to the door, Kirumi taking post aside the door, looking mildly annoyed with the whole thing as Shuuichi lightly knocked on the door. “Kaito? We’re coming in…”

Inside, Kaito quickly hid the box inside of his pocket, but, well...there was nowhere to hide the sticker binder, so he just placed it on the bed and stood in front of it as he grinned wide, watching his three friends come in as he said enthusiastically, “Hey! Wow...all of you are here! Hi, Maki-Roll! How was dinner?”

Maki’s whole body tensed. Once again heat radiating off of her.

Kokichi couldn’t help it. At times, he truly acted like the king he would one day be, wise and benevolent, hearing out all his people with the love and attention he had for them. And sometimes, like Shuuichi had said, he acted like a child, temperamental and stubborn, giggly and carefree. 

But Kokichi was 20, newly married into a relationship he was not prepared for, and thrust into a world where he was set adrift. And while he rarely got to act like it…

The moment Kokichi saw Kaito, bandaged up and free of blood, looking like he’d had a nice shower and smiling… His eyes teared up and Kokichi rushed forward, and hugged around Kaito’s waist, his face pressed to his chest. And, quietly wailing, over a week’s worth of worry and solitude came out in a warbling, “Kaaaaaiiiii-chaaaaaan!”

“Heeeeey, awww, ‘Kichi.” Kaito laughed, patting Kokichi on the back before hugging him tight...and then reaching down and picking him up, feeling a little better to have him close. Feeling slightly calmer to have his husband near him.

You can’t take him.

(Mine.)

You can’t take him.

They won’t let him go.

(Mine.)

Looking over to Maki, he grinned sheepishly as he said, “Hey, uh...I’m real sorry, Maki. I...I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have...you’ve been kinda...stressed out a lot lately and I just wanted you to take a brea-”

“Fuck you, Kaito,” Maki said. Hands shaking with fury, “Something better be wrong with you…”

Kaito sighed, looking over at Shuuichi now. “...something is wrong with me…?” he pondered, looking at Kokichi now, grinning warmly at him. “‘Kichi, what’s all this about me getting blood tested and stuff, beautiful? What’s the story here?”

Kokichi sniffled, trying to stem his tears. He had missed Kaito so much, but...it might not really be Kaito right now...not the person that he loved. And it wasn’t fair to Maki either, seeing him run into the arms of someone who had hurt her so badly. 

“I know you’re really stressed out…” Kokichi sniffed, starting to explain. “It still doesn’t make up for what you said to Shuu-chan, o-or what you did to Maki-chan but...something is up, even if you don’t wanna tell us...or if you just need more time…”

“Seiko explained that there’s a chance that the spores can stick around in a person’s body, not really affecting them, even from a little exposure, so, since you guys went through the forest, and then Kai-chan got poisoned again, we thought it would just be safe to double-check. A-and…” Kokichi flushed, rubbing at his eyes, trying not to squirm in Kaito’s arms since even if his cuts were closed, they might still hurt. “And with some of her other patients...apparently the spores can spread through, er, sexual transmission, so I got tested too…”

Kokichi gently cupped Kaito’s face, able to reach from being in his arms, and he lightly ran his thumbs across his cheeks, his eyes wet and loving and concerned and disappointed. “I’m glad you’re out here…”

Kaito looked back at him adoringly...resting his forehead against Kokichi’s for a moment. Staring deep into those beautiful, purple eyes...before wondering,  “...are they lying to you or are you lying to me?”

Shuuichi’s brow furrowed, back tensing. Maki whispered to herself, “Knew it was too good to be true.” As daggers fell into her hands.

Kaito sighed, shifting from leg to leg, an almost swaying, dancing motion as he, ever so lightly, thumped his head against Kokichi’s forehead, the way he had the door to his shrine over and over again, a small mantra in the sound. “Lying to you or lying to me, lying to you or lying to me...no real way for me to know, is there...my sweet little liar...always so good at keeping a straight face,” Kaito said proudly, grinning at him. “And intelligent too. So intelligent! Way too intelligent to believe any of that bullshit.”

Put him down.

“Kaito, put Kokichi down,” Shuuichi suddenly said, eyes wide. Seeing something in Kaito’s expression that alarmed him as he stepped forward.

Kaito wasn’t actually paying attention to Shuuichi, but his answer was entirely relevant as he said aloud, voice soft, “...nah. Kokichi’s mine.”

Kokichi blinked, almost wondering if he heard right, before he frowned, just...disappointed. Hurting for Kaito just as he had hurt for Shuuichi. Even if this wasn’t the spores, it was paranoia that rivaled them and...just knowing that his lovely Kai-chan was there but...stifled. Twisted. Hurting. 

He gently kissed Kaito’s cheek. “None of us are lying, Kai-chan, unless you’re counting you lying to yourself. We got checked for spores. Seiko’s going to tell us what the blood tests are as soon as she can. If we have them, then we’ll start taking her medicine too, and if we don’t, then we can rest easy knowing that for sure. There’s no bigger plan there.”

Kokichi reached down to touch against the wrist that he was bound to Kaito through, looking at him coolly. “I’m yours, as you are mine, and we are ourselves. I love you, Kai-chan, but there’s not much I could say if you’re going to believe whatever you head’s telling you now, right?”

(I don’t want to go.)

Forget the pregnant one. Forget your husband.

This is too risky. 

Go to Danganronpa.

They’re trying to trick you, Kaito.

Kaito knew they were trying to trick him. Everyone knew Kaito was stupid. Gullible. The guy who ‘believed’ in everything, whether it made sense or not. He knew what people thought of him. Hell, he was pretty sure usually it was true...but not today. They were trying to get him to let his guard down. They were going to send him away. Condition him. They had come up with this whole ‘despair pollen’ thing to trick him. Maybe Shuuichi had never even been infected? Maybe that had all been a show? Pollen that makes your personality change? Makes you grow a uterus?? How the fuck had he ever believed that???

Maki, Shuuichi? They were both in on it. Traitors. Conspirators. And Kokichi...god, Kokichi was so good at lying with a straight face. His beautiful, talented, fucking sneaky piece of shit.

You CAN’T take him with you!

...yeah. Kaito knew that.

“Maki: Ensure no one stops me from leaving town. Use any method necessary. Standby for further orders,” Kaito ordered.

And before Kokichi could say anything, Kaito moved his hand to Kokichi’s neck, and squeezed. 

As he did this, he said to Shuuichi, “Hey, handsome? You’re not going to make this hard, are you? We have to go, man.”

Shuuichi’s eyes widened, immediately running forward to grab Kaito’s arm, trying to pull his hand away from Kokichi’s neck as Maki just stood there, face blank. “Stop, stop, Kaito stop!”

Kaito sighed. “Shuuichi, answer: name every city in Luminary.” 

“No, no, no, no-via, Katali, Daison, Saint Meridan, Lupho-” Shuuichi began to recite, vision tunneling, lost in the request as he went still, his mind racing to find all the city names in his head.

“It’s okay, Kokichi...just go to sleep…” Kaito said to his husband sweetly, kissing him on the forehead. “This’ll be better when you wake up…”

Kokichi wasn’t even sure what he was expecting Kaito to do from there. Calming down and just pouting was unrealistic. Maybe raging for a bit? But Kokichi hadn’t expected Kaito to-

He was leaving?

Kokichi’s eyes bugged as a choked squeak made its way out of his suddenly constricted throat, trying desperately to belay Maki’s orders, to give her her mind back, but… He couldn’t breathe. Not even a little. Kaito’s grip around his neck hurt, it felt like his neck was being crushed, bones bending almost to snap, and...even if his worry was with others, Kokichi wasn’t exempt from basic human instincts. His hands scrambled to try and pry Kaito’s hand open, little clicks of choking noises leaving him and…

It wasn’t long before his rapidly beating heart and lack of air made the spots in his vision grow, Kokichi’s heart letting out a desperate cry of fear and worry before everything went dark.

Kaito let go of his grip on Kokichi as soon as his husband's eyes fluttered closed, and quickly, Kaito pulled Kokichi up and put his ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat...okay. That sounded normal. No heart attack. Okay. Good, good.

His poor husband...Kaito sighed, looking over him, before kissing him on his forehead.  Okay. That was one part done. Looking over at his two friends, Maki’s face blank, Shuuichi whispering city names to himself, not really looking at anything as he did so, he said, “Okay...how do I get all of us out of here…”

YOU CAN’T TAKE THE DICEAN PRINCE.

THEY WON’T LET YOU LEAVE.

“Shut up, Atua wannabee.” Kaito muttered, trying to think. Turning to Maki, he asked, “Maki, did you bring any guards with you? Are they waiting outside?”

“No,” Maki said, and for her blank expression, her voice was tense. Her body occasionally twitching in a way that suggested she was trying to move. Kaito knew Maki was still in charge of herself, mentally. She was probably upset with him. That was okay. Maki was always upset anyway.

Okay, so. So no guards outside, which was good. How to get Kokichi down -YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM- what could he do…

Oh! 

Putting Kokichi down, Kaito went to the closet, and pulled out one of the luggage cases from in there. Feeling extremely proud of himself, Kaito brought the luggage case to the bed, and considered his small husband, visually sizing it up… “Yeah, that’ll do,” he said, opening it up and grabbing Kokichi, saying cheerfully to his husband, “It’s okay, ‘Kichi. We’re going on our trip to Danganronpa! I did promise you we were going to go, didn’t I-”

“KAITO MOMOTA!”

The Luminary Prince jumped, halfway finished with putting his husband in the luggage as he looked up, guilt rocketing through him, alarming him as he saw Kirumi’s wide, furious gaze. When had...fucking god dammit, they needed a lock on that damn door. 

Kirumi immediately started moving towards him, and to Kaito’s surprise, Kirumi’s hand went close to her skirt and...he blinked and was stunned to see a small whip in her hands. Where had...how? Gathering Kokichi back into his arms, he stepped back from her in alarm as she raised her hand-

But Maki was there first, catching the end of the whip in her hand before it had a chance to hit Kaito, fury in her gaze as she gripped the end, pulling it against herself, trying to get Kirumi to lose her grip on it. To Maki’s surprise though, Kirumi held firm with a strength she wouldn’t have guessed the housekeeper to have...and to her increasing shock, Kirumi pulled back, and Maki felt her feet lose their place on the ground as Kirumi, with a scream, threw her out the door. 

Turning back to Kaito, she shouted, “Put Kokichi down, KAITO-AAA!” 

Maki was back up immediately, grabbing Kirumi’s collar and throwing herself backwards, bringing Kirumi out the door.

Making as MUCH NOISE AS POSSIBLE.

Maki had to listen to orders. She had to. But she could choose how to interpret those orders, and all Kaito had said was ensure he could leave town. He hadn’t said he had to leave town in secret, or that Maki had to kill anyone. So, fighting in the LOUDEST WAY POSSIBLE, Maki screamed as she kicked her legs up, trying to throw Kirumi over the guard rail.

Shit, SHIT. Time to go! 

Abandoning the luggage idea, Kaito put Kokichi over his shoulder, grabbed Shuuichi’s arm and pulled him along as his boyfriends said, “-Chichinano, Saint Luther, Draken-”, following along where Kaito led as Kaito headed down the stairs.

Run. He would just run. He could make it.

PUT HIM DOWN, THEY WON’T LET YOU LEAVE!

He could make it!

There was a bit of a clatter, people in the stairwells and on the second, third, and fourth floors hearing screaming and immediately heading towards it. There were many types of people who worked in the castle, but the personality type of ‘coward’ was not a common one. People who had risked their lives for their country, people who had stayed out of that same love, people who adored their prince, the Light of Dicea. 

Waku was one of the first, having gotten worried about Kaito after hearing about the state he was in earlier. She had been on her way to leave water and snacks outside of the closet for him, but hearing…

Raise the alarm. Protect Kokichi. Something...silent… And just…

She shuddered, feeling repulsed by the distrust and paranoia and self-righteous possession coming off of Kaito, but Waku knew what she had to do. Right away, trusting Miss Toujou to handle Maki, Waku threw herself at Kaito, wrapping her arms and legs around his legs like a human bolas, adding in her own screams.

Haneda was next, having been in the area to check on Tim. Being a bit more concerned about Maki than Kaito, really, she ran over to the two women having it out, trying to get behind Maki and pin her arms. 

Ikuo and Sei had been talking downstairs and had hurried up, both zeroing in on Kaito carrying an unconscious Kokichi and dragging an unaware Shuuichi. If Kaito wasn’t carrying Kokichi gently like he always had, if Maki was making this kind of a fuss… Ikuo set his jaw before he ran at Kaito, aiming to get Kokichi out of his grip, only mentioning to Sei in passing, “Save the blue one.” 

“Back the FUCK UP!”

Timothy flinched in his room. Like last time, he found himself in front of the door, afraid to go through it-

(No, no...that was another life. In another life, Kokichi screamed, and Timothy had stood outside his door, frozen with indecision. Terrified, because even though you know, you know, you have to open the hole, you also know that there’s likely danger inside, ready to spring out.)

-his small body shaking as he heard the clear sounds of fighting outside. He needed to do something, he needed to do something, you are the apprentice assassin, you have a responsibility, come on, come on-

He heard Maki scream, and holding his breath, he opened the door and ran out with his knife. Eyes widening in horror as he saw two Diceans (Miss Kawai!?) attacking his mentor while she fought them, and clutching his knife, he shouted, “GET OFF HER!!” 

Rushing forward, he raised his dagger and tried to bury it into Kirumi’s back, but the woman turned fiercely, hearing the sound of being approached from behind and seeing the dagger, she kicked out her leg, and Timothy flew back, hitting the back wall and collapsing with a thump. 

Maki’s eyes refocused on Timothy, widening, before turning to Kirumi, blazing, and suddenly she wasn’t fighting not to kill anymore as she knocked her head back into Haneda’s face, shaking herself out of her grip and lunging at the pale faced housekeeper. 

Kaito had to let go of Shuuichi to raise his arm in defense against Ikuo, fury lining his face as he shouted, “You gave him up! He’s MINE!” Kaito threw a punch at Ikuo, determined to get past him.

Shuuichi couldn’t see. He couldn’t really...function. Just murmuring to himself city states, speaking as quickly as he could, needing a breath, as he said, “-Kalas, Saint Harden, Foluth-”

Haneda reeled back, her nose stinging something fierce and slowly staining her mask red and...Kirumi could handle herself. Instead, she quickly pivoted, dropping to Timothy’s side, checking his pulse and breathing, then his head for any bleeding. “Tim, Tim, hey, make a sound if you can, I’m gettin’ you out of here, Maki can protect herself.”

With long strides, Sei took Shuuichi by the shoulders, trying to be gentle with the pregnant man as he led him away, dipping into one of the empty guest rooms while Kaito’s back was turned and setting the muttering man down. “Stay. Here.” He...really didn’t know what this was all about, but putting more obstacles between Shuuichi and Kaito would make it easier to defend him.

It only took a moment, and soon Sei was rushing back to defend his prince. 

Ikuo didn’t engage with Kaito, knowing that something was wrong at the very least, and had never been one to engage with crazed opponents. Instead he focused on the arm holding Kokichi. If he could jab Kaito in the armpit, the natural reflex would be to lower his arm, and then he wouldn’t have the proper position to hold onto Kokichi. He just needed the right angle…

Growling, Waku tilted her head and bit down on the side of Kaito’s thigh, the panicked fury in her maybe...causing her to make less than ideal decisions. 

The swing went wide, and that just pissed Kaito off more. His paranoia had fueled his careful handling of Shuuichi and Maki, but the fury was quickly overriding that, especially as he looked around and WHERE THE FUCK WAS HIS BOYFRIEND, a-and, shit, was that Tim!? Kaito hadn’t even seen him show up, why was he unconscious, and FUCK “GET OFF ME YOU GOD DAMNED GREMLIN!” Kaito shouted, losing his focus on Ikuo as he tried to kick off Waku, at first shaking the leg she was on, but then thinking better of it and lifting his other one, determined to crush her neck beneath his heel-

That would do.

Acting quickly, Ikuo grabbed onto the back of Kokichi’s shorts, jabbing his other hand into Kaito’s armpit, knocking the crazed prince off-balance and hopefully loosening his grip on Kokichi. 

Seeing what his old friend was doing, Sei darted in and grabbed Kaito’s raised leg, giving him a hearty tug, adding to the forces to make him fall. Damn Luminaries, thought they had everything figured out, huh. Thought no one would fight back. Disgusting. 

Waku, for her part, let go of Kaito’s leg when she felt his weight shift, somersaulting backwards and hopefully out of kicking distance, though she looked over in concern, hearing the protective fury in Maki’s heart.

(No! No no no! I’ve lost all of them! Get him back, get him back!)

Kaito swung for Kokichi, trying to grab him back from Ikuo, but as he did a man he didn’t recognize at all swung his leg up, and Kaito struggled to get his balance back, looking at Kokichi in a panic (back back get him BACK MINE MINE!!) as he once again swung blind to grab his husband back, and between his distraction and the man’s pull against his leg, Kaito stepped back several steps, felt the safety rail on his lower back and-

As Kaito went over the rail, falling, Maki closed in on Kirumi, still technically fulfilling her obligation to the mission (you have to, Maki, MAKI, you HAVE TO, everyone will DIE IF YOU DON’T ALL OF YOUR SIBLINGS WILL DIE MAKI) by fighting one of the people trying to subdue Kaito (AND YOU KICKED MY KID YOU BITCH) and with a scream, she threw a dagger in her next movement, lodging one of her daggers into Kirumi’s shoulder, causing the housekeeper to scream, whip loosening in her grip.

But then Kirumi’s eyes hardened, as she just shifted the whip to her other hand, and spat out, “Nice try, baby assassin.”

And then Kirumi shot out the whip, and Maki was taken off guard, hearing Kaito hit the stairs and looking back in learned, genuine concern for her friend, the whip wrapped around her neck, and Maki barely had time to scream before she was taken off her feet, choking as Kirumi tightened her grip on the whip, murderous intent in her eyes.

Below, on the second floor stairs, Kaito gasped, eyes wide as he stared at the ceiling. He had to have broken his back, he had to have, that was a long fall (Dad? Was that what it felt like?), but as he took in a difficult breath...he found his back didn’t hurt. That he...wasn’t injured.

(Back, back, you have to go back, you can’t leave without any of them, Tim, Maki, Shuuichi, Kokichi! You have to go back, you need them, don’t leave them, it’ll destroy you!)

RUN, KAITO!

And tears in his eyes, knowing this fight was lost, feeling overwhelmed and furious and miserable with his choices (and somehow wanting to make those choices all the more for how they hurt him), Kaito got up and ran.

“Shoot!” In a miscalculation, Kaito didn’t land on his back and instead stumbled back, reeling back step after step until--

Sei lunged forward, his eyes wide behind his glasses as he reached out to grab Kaito, trying to shift his weight back on the right side of the safety rail but…

“Frick!” The guard sprinted down the stairs, trying to get to Kaito in time. Either before the prince hurt anyone else, or before he was hurt in a way time couldn’t fix. 

His son safely in his arms, Ikuo retreated to the room he’d seen Sei take Shuuichi into, laying Kokichi down on the bed next to the muttering man, checking over his vitals, frowning at the red marks starting to form around his neck. Putting a gentle hand on Shuuichi’s shoulder, Ikuo muttered, “Shuuichi, no one’s asking you anything. You’ve fulfilled your request. Breathe, son.”

By this time, Haneda had scooped Tim up in her arms, moving to the next hall over, furiously protecting her ward, gently rocking him and rubbing his back in circles like you would for a nervous pet, not seeing anything overtly wrong with him and not knowing what else to do. 

And Waku...Maki had been murderous, but it had been tempered with pure concern. But now...Miss Toujou??? Popping up, Waku tried to put herself between Maki and her coworker. “Miss Toujou! Necks are dangerous--don’t kill her!”

Kirumi looked at Waku, that murder still in her eyes for a moment, tighening the whip...before her eyes cleared. 

Diceans...listened to others. Listened to the community.

But Luminaries…

Kirumi took a breath, and kept a tight grip on the whip, though her expression was far more calm as she said to Waku, “Just a moment, Waku. I just need to knock her out. Her conditioning will force her to put herself into danger if I do not. I will be careful.” She assured her coworker, watching the light in Maki’s eyes.

Maki struggled. She lasted longer than other people would, taking out her dagger and trying to cut the whip, only to find it was metal, and then trying to cut Kirumi, who dodged the weakening swings easily...and Maki’s eyes fluttered, and she stumbled, her attempts at breathing now a desperate, frightened whine...before collapsing. 

And, quickly, Kirumi undid the whip around her neck. Sighing as she did so, “There, there, young Maki.” Kiruimi whispered, checking Maki’s pulse, “It’s done now.”

Timothy, after a few minutes, opened his eyes, confused, trying to work out where he was. Someone was...holding him. His head and back hurt. What had...what had happened?

“Commander?” Timothy murmured, wondering if his leader had taken him to safety again. Had he stabbed another hole? Had there been another man?

Was his nose still on his face?  Had the cut hit his eyes?

Shuuichi trembled, still reciting cities, it was so hard to see, so hard to hear...but he blinked.

A...a new order? Or, a disregard of order or…

Was he allowed to stop?

Blinking, looking around, Shuuichi’s vision cleared. Where was...what had…

...why was he back in his room?

Shuuichi froze as he recognized the room, wondering what had happened. What had he done? Was Miss Nao coming? Was…

As he looked around frantically, Shuuichi spotted Kokichi, and felt both immediately reassured and immediately on edge. Miss Nao wouldn’t do anything if Kokichi was here, and...wait… “Kokichi?” Shuuichi called, reaching out to his boyfriend, struggling to his feet and heading towards his boyfriend, eyes taking in his neck and memory flooding back quickly as he said, “Oh god, oh no, no, no, no, I’m so sorry!”

Waku looked on Maki’s (still breathing, she’s okay) still form with slight horror before asking her coworker, “Can you stay here with her? I-I’m getting healers! Oh, um…” Quickly dipping her head through her poncho, Waku handed the garment over. “For your shoulder--I’ll be right back!”

Haneda quietly shushed her ward, sitting back against the wall. She couldn’t hear anymore fighting, but...Waku was getting healers. Once they were here, then she’d come out. Until then, she would protect the boy in her arms. “You’re okay, Tim. Told you I’d watch your back.”

Ikuo let Shuuichi be for a moment, his hard expression softening slightly as he saw how the lad fretted over Kokichi. How Kaito had acted until recently. Clearing his throat, letting Shuuichi know he was there, Ikuo asked, “What’s goin’ on? Kaito’s actin’ like a loon an’ Maki’s ragin’ out--Kaito would’n’ act this way to my boy. Somethin’s up.”

Shuuichi flinched, having actually forgotten Ikuo was in there. He looked over at him guiltily, having...not been able to do anything to help his son...had just watched him choke as he recited city names a-and

His eyes burned with tears for a moment...before sighing. P-pull it together, Shuuichi. It’s okay, it’s okay. You...you can’t fall apart right now, Kokichi is unconscious and everything else that was happening outside of this fucking room was still happening. Not safe in here, not safe out there...Shuuichi had to keep it together for his loved ones.

“W-we...y-you know how I said I was a drug addict? I don’t k-know if anyone else explained to you what that meant, b-but...it’s looking like the drug that infected me might have K-k-kaito, a-and it does….it twists your head. Makes you...i-it’s a stress stimulus thing a-and...I’m so sorry, Mr. Ikuo. W-we should have been more c-careful.”

Ikuo adjusted his hat, thinking. “...Kaito’s a danger ta himself an’ everyone else, nm?” Sei went after him, so if Kaito was injured or if he got up...there was already a trail to follow. And Maki...well, if Shuuichi had been under orders, then she probably was too. And...likely the only person who could snap her out was Kokichi…

Looking over his unconscious son, Ikuo made a low sound, going over to the door and peeking out into the hall. Just...Kirumi and...Maki was out for the count? ...they’d deal with it. 

Turning back to Shuuichi, Ikuo scooped Kokichi up again, gently cradling him against his chest and shoulders. “Can ya stay with Kirumi an’ Maki? Let ‘em know the orders Maki’s under, Bunny’ll undo ‘em when he wakes. I’m goin’ after Kaito. Will explain it ta others on the way. That good with ya?”

Shuuichi nodded, looking at Kokichi in concern, wishing he wasn’t being taken away...but feeling compelled to say, “Please don’t kill Kaito. I swear, if it's the spores, and it has to be, we can fix him, he wouldn’t have...this isn’t him.”

Ikuo looked over at Shuuichi in slight surprise. “Ain’t killin’ no one, son. Kaito’s family, and ya gotta protect those ones more than anythin’. ‘M jus’ gon’ stop him from killin’ himself or anyone else.”

Opening the door with his shoulder, Ikuo quickly made his way to Kirumi and the unconscious Maki, frowning at the slowly forming marks on her neck and the knife in Kirumi’s shoulder. Gently laying Kokichi down on his side next to Maki, he gave Kirumi a quick nod. “Shuuich’ll explain, gotta run.”

And he did, sort of. Instead of taking the stairs, Ikuo hopped over the railing, barely a thump below before he took off. 

-

Kaito...didn’t know too many places in Dicea. Not even in the town surrounding them. So, when he had ran in a ‘random’ direction, just thinking that he had to escape, escape, escape...he hadn’t realized he was going to the industrial district. And, again...pure familiarity, just the somewhat irrational idea that ‘familiar’ equaled ‘safe’ was what compelled him to ignore the ‘do not enter’ signs and break into the building through a window when he discovered the doors were all padlocked shut.

Kaito was hiding up in the second floor grates, staring curiously down at the rest of the brewery now. The place had been gutted, ruined, since the last time Kaito was here. All the tables and chairs gone, the beanbags, the metal barrels: the only signs that parties used to be had here the litter that was left behind when the brewery had been...raided? Closed? Who knew. Whenever the authorities had gotten their hands on it. His legs dangled over the edge as he rested his forehead against the cool of the metal rail-

(In another life, he had almost died just a few feet from this spot. He had shoved Tom over the side and broken Aba’s wrist, and had finally been subdued by Itch, who had tried to choke the life out of him...and then Kokichi had called…)

(For reasons Kaito couldn’t hope to comprehend, he shuddered suddenly, and thought to himself)

(‘I don’t want to be called anymore’)

-and suddenly laughed.

Something...warm and joyful, bubbling into his stomach, as he stared at the dark, empty remains of the brewery, hiding from the world.

He had failed.

He had failed to take any of them with him.

...he was free.

He laughed again, and sure, somewhere inside of him was this twist of gut-churning terror at the thought...he was alone, he was alone, he had just simultaneously burned every bridge he had ever made and he was adrift and alone and--more laughter, relieved, ecstatic giggles-- entirely on his own! 

No one could call for him anymore! 

He was free!

You can’t stay here. 

You need to go where I tell you, child.

Kato ignored the voices in his head, as he had been since he left the castle. That was just...he didn’t know. His subconscious freaking out or something. Atua didn’t talk to people. Kaito hadn’t spent his whole life coming to terms with the fact that Atua didn’t talk, didn’t interfere, didn’t...that he hadn’t played games with him as a child and hadn’t given him advise, and hadn’t held him as he sobbed when his mentor died the first time Kaito had hidden in the shrines, hadn’t gotten past all of that, just to fucking fall apart the first time voices started back up in his head again. He wouldn’t be fooled again. He wouldn’t be crazy again.

Atua probably didn’t exist anyway, honestly.

And who cared!? Who cared about that!? Kaito was free! He wouldn’t have too, too, bite his tongue anymore, adhering to ‘better’ opinions! He could make choices for himself now! No more being told, go here, do this! No responsibilities! No more burdens that paraded themselves as his ‘friends’! No more being chosen, no more being the disgraced second Momota son, or the worthless title of Prince-Consort, trying to pretend to care about a society that disgusted him, under the weight of adhering to a husband he didn’t even like!

Something hurt in his chest at that thought, and Kaito ignored it with a laugh.

He was free! He could do anything he wanted now! He could entirely re-invent himself! Ha ha ha! Maybe he’d change his name!? He didn’t have to be Kaito Momota! Stupid, gullible, crazy Kaito ‘You’re Too Sweet To Be A’ Momota! 

God, had people not realized how much hearing shit like that had hurt him!? Or had they known and hadn’t cared? Maybe they had said things like that on purpose, just to make him feel small and ashamed and villainous. Everyone wanted to make him feel like the bad guy, even when they were ‘praising’ him for being ‘better’ than the other Momotas! Congratulations, Kaito! You rose above the rest of your family by virtue of you being too chickenshit to be as ruthless as the rest of them! Sure, you lost your inheritance and you were humiliated in front of everyone you ever knew and every person you ever dated and friend you ever made took advantage of your good nature, but hey! You made it, Kaito! You’re sweet! Good fucking job!

Never again! NEVER AGAIN!

He wouldn’t be Kaito Momota. He’d change his name. Ha, maybe he really would be Caleb! He had really liked being Caleb, for a moment there! Exploring the city, meeting new people, shoving bratty children into the dirt! That had been a lot of fun! Why not!? He wasn’t trying to prove anything to anyone anymore! He wasn’t anyone’s ‘hero’!

‘Hero of the Fifteen Year War’. Ha! What a fucking joke. Like being sold to someone was heroic. Like he had had a fucking choice.

He’d go somewhere far away. Change his name, change his looks. He’d never come back. No one would ever control him again. No more Byakuya’s or Kokichi’s or Maki’s or Tengans. No one could ever tell him what to do again. He was free! He could go anywhere! He could do anything!

Go to Danganronpa.

Kaito rolled his eyes, “Why the fuck do you want me to go to Danganrnonpa so much? You think I want to stay on this continent? No, no, I’ll…” Kaito grinned, a plan finally forming in his mind, vague but enticing, “I’ll go to the coast and I’ll get a job as a sailor and I’ll quit the second we hit another continent. And then I’ll just...keep going. I won’t even learn the name of the kingdom’s I’m in, or ask what city I’m in as I travel. I’ll never even know where I am, and no one will ever find me. Free. Entirely free. I’ll never come back.”

That’s entirely unacceptable. 

Kaito, you have to go to Danganronpa.

No.

KAITO MOMOTA, I AM YOUR GOD AND I AM TELLING YOU-

No! 

Kaito laughed as he thought to himself, besides, I’m not Kaito Momota anymore. I’m Caleb! Caleb...fuck it, Caleb Togami! And Caleb doesn’t take orders from anyone!

And then a new voice (a familiar one, though Kaito couldn’t place it) sighed, and said, sounding truly sad, “Oh, Kaito…”

And suddenly all the voices were gone, and Kaito was alone in the brewery.

-

In the void, ‘Atua’ was suddenly yanked away from his target, being pulled up and up and up, looking around in a panic, both terrified and astounded of the view. He could...he could see the entire hivemind below him as he rose and rose and rose, and before he had gotten to the looming, all encompassing presence of the queen, he changed his form, turning into Tsumugi Shirogane, her dark gray eyes looking around frantically as she was suddenly stopped, allowed to rest.

Beside her, two more figures appeared. Both of them old. Far older then herself, and far more powerful in this plane of existence then she was, and so she looked wearily between the projection of the queen and the siren/shape-shifter, as the siren turned to the queen and said, “Junko, this is madness. This is beyond unacceptable. I said specifically I didn’t want him changed into a seedling! Kaito’s stress-induced desires are extremely self-destructive, and he’ll get himself killed before he makes it out of Dicea, let alone before he makes it to the capital! Look at him!” 

And suddenly a third figure appeared, extremely weak in this realm, only able to be here at all because he was drawn in by the siren. Kaito knelt in the dark, confused and...not entirely able to think clearly in this form, looking between the others like a lost animal, intelligence dim and muted behind his eyes. His body was naked, for the purposes of Togami to show how badly this whole situation had been mishandled, showing to his queen the damage done to him as he snarled, “Look at him! This is just, what...four days without medicine tempering his stress desires? He almost cut his own throat today in desperation to ‘feel better’! He won’t last like this! This fucking arragont Flora has practically outright killed him already!”

The queen sighed, looking over the human. “That...iiiiiis a looooot of damage, Tsumugi. If this is after just a few days, Togami’s probably right. He won’t survive the trip.”

“He should….” Togami swallowed, burying his grief, “He should be returned to the other humans immediately. Tsumugi, you should tip off the guardforce to where he is right away. I’d rather him there then dea-”

“Now, now, now, let’s not get excited, Togami. Let’s at least think this through before you fall on your sword for the sake of your pet here.” The queen sighed, before smiling cutsily to Tsumugi as she coo’d, “Sooooo~ What was your plan then?” before her voice hardened, shouting out, “Because so far it seems like kinda a real piece of shit plan, Tsumugi!”

Tsumugi shivered slightly under the queen’s displeasure, but kept her composure as she said, “Well, obviously this wasn’t...entirely to my plan. The plan was to gradually get him to agree to go to Daganronpa over the course of the next several weeks, and in fact, Togami, I had no intentions of letting him become a seedling at all. I was just using the more moderate version of our medicine to...let him become hormonal enough under enough spores to become more ‘suggestable’-”

“Which is, again, something I specifically requested not happen to him-!”

“-but I wasn’t expecting Prince Kokichi to just...let him stop coming to therapy?” Tsumugi sighed, looking annoyed as she said, “It just plain ruined everything, didn't it? And, well, you know how it is with the medicines. If you stop taking it without your body stabilizing first, the spores just go into overdrive. Changes that should have taken another month happened in a day and, well, even with medicine now, it will take likely a week of him taking it for the spores to deplete enough to give him his mind back, and, yes, okay, I admit, on his own, even just a week longer like this probably will result in his killing himself. It was all quite unfortunate…” Tsumugi sighed again, shrugging, before smiling brightly, “But! I do have a plan!”

The queen gave her a look of intellectual curiosity as she said, voice professional, “Do go on. And please, consider your words carefully. I’m actually quite displeased with your progress.”

Tsumugi laughed nervously at this, but continued on undaunted, “Kaito won’t be able to make it to the border, let alone the capital, no...but he can survive to the swamplands in the east! And we can ask Elda, the Swamp Witch, for help!”

Both the Queen and Togami looked at her like she was an idiot.

“...you want to ask a witch for help? A swamp witch? The witch’s hate us.” Togami said, tsking at his fellow Shape-shifters ridiculous idea. “They’ll charge us a literal arm and a leg to teleport him to the capital, just to fuck with us. I don’t suppose you’re ready to sacrifice your own body parts so that Kaito could safely get here.”

“Swamp witch’s especially. They’re isolated creatures, and extremely self-sufficient and independent. We could offer her gold, but….I doubt that would persuade her to help us either.” The queen observed sounding entirely depressed by this idea.

Tsumugi put up her finger to grab their attention, smiling brightly as she said, “Ah, but, I’ve thought of that too! Swamp Witch’s are isolated. And, traditionally? That isolation is a double edged sword. They might not trust people, but children they can keep and raise and groom to their own purposes? I think this witch might be willing to trade transport for a child. And, it just so happens, I have a surplus one around-”

“NO!”

A fourth figure appeared, causing Kaito to flinch on his knees. He really wasn’t capable of comprehending what was happening around him right now, but..someone sounded upset…

The three other figures looked at the fourth figure in open shock, the queen straight up asking, “How did you-??”

The fourth figure, a plain looking soldier, looked pained as he stared in fury at Tsumugi, “You can’t! She has a home! Friends! A future! You can’t go send her to serve a swamp witch! She’ll be terrified! She won’t understand why her mother’s abandoned her! Kimiko will think she did something wrong!”

Togami frowned, reaching out to put a comforting hand on the soldier, “Please, calm yourself...we did not agree to the plan. Your child is not being sold-”

“The child will be fine.” Tsumugi rolled her eyes at the hysterical shape-shifter. Honestly, Flora who fell in love with humans...it was so fucking stupid… “But Kaito will die if we don’t utilize this idea. It’ll take all of a day by carriage to get him to the witch. We have a Flora in the area who can take him there. Trading the child’s lifestyle for Kaito’s actual life is an entirely agreeable compromise. My queen?”

“Please, my queen, don’t approve this! Kimiko’s my whole world!” the plain soldier begged.”The only reason I sleep well without her by my side is I know she’d be happier where she is! To take her away from everything familiar to her...please, my queen, have mercy on my family!”

“Oh, would you come off it? She’s not your family. She’s a human, and frankly, she’s a pest.” Tsumugi huffed, rolling her eyes.

“My queen, I have no desire to put that childs in harms way for this endeavor.” Togami insisted, siding with the distraught soldier, “Nor do I desire to watch my lover self-destruct on spores. We need to cancel this whole plan. Send him back. I promise, I won’t grieve him. I’ll be fin-”

“Shhhh.” The queen said, and all the figures hushed.

The queen sighed, crossing her arms and legs, leaning against the edges of the void as she thought about it. “Humans.” The queen muttered, some disgust in the word, “Why are my Flora always falling in love with humans...they’re one of the lowest life-span species on the planet. Love for them is always, literal tragedy...and no matter what I do, no matter how I spin it, how impersonal I make them or how obviously I prove to my Flora that they’re little more then animals that talk...still some of my Flora still fall for the illusion of their intelligence. The myth of their equality. Why? I don’t understand what I have to do to get you all to stop doing this…”

Tsumugi smirked at this little speech, assuming this meant the queen was going to agree with her...but frowned as the queen said, “But. Your grief is real, and I cannot stand it. My poor, foolish Flora...we will not sell the child to the witch. But, Togami, your heart aches for this...thing…” the queen said, scrunching her nose slightly in distaste at the barely touchable seedling on his knees, disgusted by his blank, unintelligent, empty stare, “almost every single day. I cannot stand listening to your grief either, so...we follow through with the plan. We will bring Kaito to the capital.”

“Th-thank you, my queen! Thank you!” the soldier cried, weeping.

The queen nodded, rolling her eyes. “Tsumugi-”

“Yes, my queen?” Tsumugi asked.

The queen shook her head, “No, no, the other...look, you. Turn into Ford. And you,” she said, pointing to the soldier, “Turn back into Tsumugi. You haven't gotten far from the capital yet, have you?”

The soldier, now Tsumugi, looked...both nervous and hopeful as she said, “No...not yet my queen.”

“Go back. Return to your place as Tsumugi Shirogane. Don’t get me wrong: your performance as Tsumugi was disgraceful. You accomplished nothing of worth, and indeed, your incompetence put both Flora and seedlings in danger...but, we’re going to need the extra body there, lest we alarm the Diceans with our ambassador suddenly going missing.”

“Am I…going somewhere, my queen?” Dr. Ford asked, not exactly heartbroken to be taken away from the Tsumugi persona, but alarmed that he was losing his position. He had barely had a chance to do anything yet! “ A new assignment?”

The queen looked at Ford with...open contempt.

“Ford. In the time you’ve been to Dicea, you have locked a human with a family that is returning soon in a basement, and made him entirely aware as to what you are. Which we will now have to deal with. You have also, just now, attempted to get rid of a child that is key to keeping up Tsumugi’s persona in Dicea, which we have maintained for over a decade. And, the very first task I have given you in Dicea, which is to safely retrieve Kaito Momota, has resulted in him looking like this.” she said, gesturing to the cut to ribbons body.

“You have already seriously put our operations in jeopardy over and over again in the capital, and you’ve only been there for a little over a week. You are dangerously reckless, both with the human lives around you, and with our secrets. I’m afraid.” The queen laughed, something malicious in her gaze, “I’m going to have to ask you to take a time out.”

Ford furrowed his brow at this. “I...I’m sorry...what does that actually mean?”

The queen looked to Togami. Gesturing to Ford, she said to her friend, “There you go. You want to be with Kaito? To ensure his safety? There’s a body. Take him to the witch. Perhaps we can make a deal with her some other way.”

Ford blinked...before his eyes widened with horror. “My queen, no! You can’t! Please, please, I’ll be better!  I’ll be more careful! I swear, please do not-!”

And then, with a wave of the queens hand, Ford went quiet. Staring blankly.

The Flora wasn’t dead. The queen would hesitate to kill even the most annoying of her people. He was just...suppressed. His consciousness buried deep, deep down inside of him. His body now just...empty. And Togami and Tsumugi stared at him in concern and fear...before both turning to the queen.

“Thank you, my queen.” Tsumugi said again. Her hands shaking at what she had just seen.

“I’m to transfer my consciousness to him, then? Can I ask you to have someone come look after my body in my home then?” Togami asked, sighing, shaking off how unnerving that was to see. “Not all of us are so talented as to maintain multiple bodies at once, my queen.”

“You sound upset, Togami,” the queen sighed. “Will nothing I do ever make you happy again?”

Togami felt a spark of guilt at that..before lowering his head, “No, I...I’m actually quite thrilled. Thank you for this opportunity, my queen.”

“Good! This is gonna be great! Only thing left is to figure out the Ford situation, but we have time for that. Alright!” The queen cheered, sticking out her tongue at all of them as she said to her Flora, “Good luck, you two! I’ve put you both in the best positions I can! Go enjoy your humans, ya freaks!”

And the queen laughed, and then dispelled her hold on all of them.

-

Kaito blinked. 

He had...zoned out? He had zoned out for awhile. The sun was coming up. Had he fallen asleep? He...he felt like he had been having a very frightening dream…

As he ran his hands over his eyes, tired and confused and aching...his whole body suddenly tensed, hearing someone else walking around the brewery. Someone was in here with him, someone was-

And Kaito stared down, amazed...as Togami walked out of the office hallway, looked around...and then looked up at him.

And smiled.

-

The first time Kokichi had woken up, he was barely coherent, rasping out something just close enough to a dismissal to give Maki peace before dropping back into unconsciousness, the red marks around his neck bruising and growing deeper every moment. Seiko had come by that evening, taken aback by the state of the castle, nervously reporting that Tim and Maki were clean. There were signs that there had been spores in Kokichi’s body, but in such a low amount that his body had already taken care of them--she hypothesized that his recent fever was a sign of that. 

And Kaito…

...she couldn’t explain it. He hadn’t been taking spores like Shuuichi had, but...his count was far too high even for remnant reproduction. She had brought the latest iteration of her medicine with her, but…

Kaito was nowhere to be found. 

Despite their efforts, Sei and Ikuo had lost the prince. At some point, it seemed like a wiser use of time to return to the castle and notify the guardforce that Prince Kaito was a missing and dangerous person, drugged with Despair Pollen and likely to put both himself and others into harm’s way. 

Lake had found Hina late that night, apologizing and asking if she could let the other patients who had been watching over Seiko to be vigilant, as the guardforce had to be on high alert in searching for Kaito. 

And the next morning, Nadya had gone to the castle like usual, but… She sat in the private room in the medical ward, tapping on her leg as she watched a healer help Prince Kokichi drink some broth, each swallow causing him to recoil in pain. 

She...might be able to find Kaito...but she had to be careful about this…

The latest medicine might not have been any use for the now missing Kaito, but Shuuichi had been relieved to see it, just as he and Maki had started to panic, searching her room for the medicine that Kaito had pocketed. Shuuichi had been on the verge of a panic attack when he realized the medicine was actually gone, Maki promising him she was going straight to the pharmacy to get him more, it was fine, she was going to take care of this...and then Seiko had shown up with more and, well, crisis averted.

Shuuichi had been put to sleep, as he always was when he took his medicine, and Maki had checked on Timothy in the medbay...a concussion. But, apparently he was going to be fine…

There was too much going on. Maki didn’t know if she still wanted to kill Kirumi for kicking him. She didn’t really...know what to feel about anything, and because of that, she went back to the teachings of her youth. Be who you need to be. Your tears are your own, no one else's. Don’t show weakness. Don’t show sadness. Feel your feelings later.

(...when?)

(When was she allowed to feel them?)

(When would they get a break?)

After checking on Timothy, she spoke briefly to Haneda. Bowed and thanked her for her assistance. Apologized for breaking her nose. 

“I had not intended to harm you.” Maki said. Her voice neutral. Expression blank. Not looking at her son. “I apologize for having done so anyway.”

Haneda shrugged, feeling awkward being apologized to and having to face it without her mask. There was a bandage arching over the bridge of her nose, holding the bone and cartilage in place, and while it was something of a covering, it did not do her mask’s job of tempering her scowl.

“You’ve got a good headbutt, and they said you couldn’t help it so…” She shrugged again, expression pained as she looked over at Timothy before she glanced around. For obvious reasons, Kirumi was being tended to in another area. Leaning down to talk more quietly to Maki, Haneda covered her mouth, making sure no one would read her lips. “I’m glad you got a good stab in on that bitch.”

Straightening, she continued in a more normal manner. “He was asking for his commander, I think. Guy protected him on the battlefield. Tim...sometimes forgets where he is, so...if that happens, that’s probably where his mind is at.” She smiled grimly, glancing over to the sleeping boy again. “...he likes protecting people, I’ve found. Like mother, like son.”

Tim forgot where he was sometimes?

Maki twitched at that, frustrated this was something she was just learning about. Looking over at Tim, she clenched her fists a little...before saying, quietly, “...he was suited to be a soldier. I…” Maki clenched her fists tighter, once again feeling the...the fears and insecurities of not being enough to handle this, the guilt of keeping him from a life that he had actually, genuinely seemed happy in...before suppressing that shit down too. 

She’d feel it later.

Be who you had to be for now.

So she turned and bowed to Haneda again. “Thank you for your help. I can honestly say this would be impossible without you. If I may, please watch over him for the next few days. Keep him away from Miss Toujou, and...if you could, please try to keep him away from the rumors of everything happening, or distract him at least. He’s...he’s been trained to believe he must act when he’s worried about things. I don’t want him throwing himself into danger for any of our sakes, and between the search for Kaito and watching over Kokichi and Shuuichi, I...” 

Maki couldn’t bring herself to say she just...wasn’t going to have time to watch over him. 

“I’ll do what I can,” Haneda promised with a nod. “Gossip has its way of creeping in, but I’ll try to filter the worst of it. And you kick the shit out of whoever the fuck’s drugging people all the time for me.”

It was bad enough when the adults around you were addicted to normal stuff, meth and opium and shit. Something like this? Being in a goddamned war was already gonna fuck Tim up, but this was a whole heap of garbage Tim was going to have a hell of a time talking through with a therapist one day. 

Hopefully they could mitigate it a bit, at least. 

Haneda had collected Chase, the puppy used to sleeping through the night and so sleepy now, curled up at the foot of Tim’s cot, and the nanny settled herself in a chair nearby, already preparing to watch over her charge. “Anything you want me to tell him from you when he wakes up?”

Maki glanced at Timothy.

‘I’m still making decisions with you in mind.’

‘You're still a priority to me.’

‘I’m sorry you never get a chance to be my top priority.’

‘I’ll make this up to you someday.’

‘I love you.’

“Tell him he’s still going to school next week, regardless of what happens, and that if he gives you any trouble I will make time to make him run laps.” Maki said, giving the nanny a nod before walking away.

She watched over Shuuichi for the night, before coming back the next morning, Shuuichi in tow, to Kokichi’s private room, bowing to Kokichi for a moment before nodding at Nadya. “Good morning.” she said to both of them.

Shuuichi’s brow furrowed, distressed at seeing Kokichi like this as he quickly went to the other side of the bed, “Hey, Kokichi...you’re awake…” Shuuichi said in relief, putting a soft hand on his shoulder, looking guiltily at the healer for a brief moment, feeling bad for interrupting as he asked, “How are you? Can you talk?”

Nadya gave Maki and Shuuichi a nod in return, that same worried, contemplative look never quite leaving her face. “Good morning. I am glad to see the two of you up and about after yesterday’s events.”

Kokichi gave Shuuichi a soft look, reaching up to put his hand over his boyfriend’s. He’d been told what happened after he passed out but… He took a breath, preparing himself. “I’ hurts...but yeah. Shuu-chan...I’m so sorry…”

He was the one to insist on talking to Kaito. And though he knew that Kaito was likely dangerous, he still lost his head, overwhelmed with seeing his husband for the first time in days, hurting all the people Kaito had hurt by embracing him, putting himself in danger...putting everyone else in danger…

He had been horrified when he heard what Kirumi had done to Maki and Tim. Even in self-defense she’d gone a step too far, and he knew they were talking to her about a weapons ban. They were talking about it with Maki too, and he knew the only reason it hadn’t gone through was that she wasn’t in control of herself at the time. 

His eyes going wet, Kokichi weakly stroked Shuuichi’s hand, one thing in particular bothering him throughout all his other worries. “A-any news…?”

Shuuichi hesitated, wondering if...but there was no good way to deliver this kind of news, so he just looked down with a grim frown and shook his head.

“A man named Sei and Ikuo both took off after him last night. He’s expected to be injured, suffering from a long fall from the third floor to the bottom of the second staircase, not to mention his sustained blood loss and cuts. You would have thought that would make him easy to catch up with,” Maki said, her face neutral for a moment...before scowling slightly, “I suppose not. The guardforce has been looking all night, but apparently no one’s gotten so much as a glimpse at a 6’1 ginger who shouts everything he says.”

“They’ll find something, Maki…” Shuuichi reassured her...before looking intent as he said, “Or we will.”

Nadya looked down as her coworkers spoke, her brow furrowed at the ground. It wasn’t really that magic-users were persecuted, especially in Dicea, but… Not many people outside the practice really understood magic that well. The toll it took, the limits of it. Not to mention that she didn’t want people flocking to her for help all the time, asking for things she couldn’t deliver, blaming her for not just ‘magiking away’ all their problems…

But a searching spell? Just to find Prince Kaito, and then try to help him in more reliable, physical ways…

She sighed before looking up at the others with a hard look, feeling...awkward to say this with the healer still tending to Prince Kokichi, but she wasn’t going to ask the woman to leave. “I...may be able to provide some assistance in locating Mr. Momota. However, I would request your discretion if I did.”

Kokichi looked up at Nadya, sad and confused. “Please...he needs help…” If Kaito was left on his own...riddled with spores he’d… “Please…”

Discretion, huh.

Maki considered the research assistant for a moment, whom Maki had never had a real conversation with...before looking at the healer. “You. You’re done. We’ll finish feeding him.”

Nell rolled her eyes but was gentle as she stood up from Kokichi’s side, adjusting his blanket. It was bad enough that the Flora was messing with both of the prince’s lovers, but even the most human among them was one of the most irritating people she’d known...ugh. Well, that did give her time to write a much-needed letter. With Susan leaving for adventure, maybe it was time to invite another old friend to visit for a while. 

Not right away, of course. 

Maybe that spring. Give a chance for the snow to melt. 

With a respectful nod to the healer, Nadya took a breath after the woman left. “This is going to sound...illogical, but if I had access to one of Mr. Momota’s belongings, I would be able to lead you to him. While leading the guardforce would generally be the best way to go about this...I am afraid that...letting the greater public see me do this would...fair badly for me.”

“So… If I were to lead you to Mr. Momota, can I count on you to not reveal to another soul how I did so?”

Kokichi looked at his assistant in confusion but...to help Kaito, there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do. Shuffling around in the cot, trying to get up, he rasped, “I promise.”

Both Shuuichi and Maki hesitated.

...there was an evil in the world they had been cautioned about.

Demons, they were told. Things that could, in small ways, warp nature around it. That could use spells to destroy you or tempt you to turn from Atua. Demons could not be tolerated. They had been driven out of Luminary, and frankly, most people thought they were a myth by now, just another ‘exaggerated’ aspect of the Atuan religion put in place by the Momota family.

But, in her journey, Maki had...seen things, sometimes. Things she couldn’t explain. Things she had barely survived, just because she couldn’t actually comprehend what she was looking at. When she came back to her mentor, and told him of the things she had seen, he told her those were demon tricks, and that those who performed them must be destroyed, whenever possible, lest her soul be stolen from the trials.

Then she had gone to Shuuichi, who had did his best to research and...hadn’t believed most of the things he had read. Had just cautioned Maki that people were likely performing illusions to trick her, and to just be cautious, but...well, come on. It couldn’t be demons. That was...that was silly…

Both of them, raised in their religious country (and neither of them real believers, but, well...just because you rejected your teachings didn’t mean you hadn’t learnt them…) stared suspiciously at the woman...before Shuuichi looked at Maki. “...she’s been incredibly kind to me…”

Maki pouted at this, running her hand through her hair...before saying to Nadya, “If you’re trying to trick us, you better do a damn good job of it. I’ll never give you a chance to try again.”

Nadya gave the two curious looks before nodding. “I thank you for your secrecy. I need an item of Mr. Momota’s, and I assume you should like to prepare.”

Getting up out of bed, Kokichi wobbled but motioned for Nadya to follow him. “...to our room. Plenny...stuff…”

He didn’t know what she’d do but… Kaito was drugged. Had almost hurt or killed so many people the last time he was poisoned, and that was a lucky scenario that he just hadn’t run into more people. And this time...just thinking about what Kaito had done to himself made Kokichi feel sick. Knowing that it wasn’t just prayer he didn’t understand, that Kaito could handle and had his entire life. He was cutting himself to pieces, suffering and trying to think through whatever the drugs were trying to get him to do. Likely thinking that they were all going to hurt him--betrayers, saboteurs. 

He needed Seiko’s medicine, and he needed medical attention. 

And...Kokichi needed to find a real way to help Kaito. To try and communicate better because what they had been doing just...wasn’t working. 

Maki and Shuuichi both watched Kokichi get up with trepidation, but neither of them offered to carry him, just following behind him, Maki watching his legs, Shuuichi keeping an eye on those around them. When one of the healers approached, alarmed that Kokichi was getting out of bed and leaving the med wing, it was Shuuichi who reassured them that they were just taking a walk upstairs, that they were keeping an eye out for him, it was fine.

Getting upstairs, Maki opened the door for everyone, letting them in, as Shuuichi looked around. “Does it matter the size or type of item?” He asked Nadya.

It...really hurt to breathe heavily in any amount, but Kokichi was determined. He would not allow his health to keep him from helping his husband. From keeping his promise to protect him, even if he’d done nothing but fail over and over again. 

(Even if Kaito was the one who had crushed his throat.)

“An item he often has contact with would work best, and any size would work, though something easily carried makes things easier from a logistics standpoint,” Nadya answered, not moving to gather an item herself. The others knew Kaito better than she did, for one, and two, she didn’t want to impede any more privacy than she already was. 

Looking from Maki to Shuuichi, Kokichi’s cheeks tinted as he gave a light shrug. “...underwear?”

Shuuichi blushed and Maki rolled her eyes. “An item he has contact with often…” she murmured, looking around, “I don’t suppose he’s been using that vibrator you all keep hidden in your drawer.” She muttered, heading to the closet and looking around. There was his sword, but maybe that was a bad idea to hand to Nadya for whatever this was, just in the off chance she had to handle it and accidentally cut herself…oh.

Taking the item off a hangar, she brought it back to them, holding up the red cape he had worn the second day he had known Kokichi. “He hasn’t worn it lately, but he wore this almost our entire journey down here. Will it work?”

Nadya took a look at the cape and...well, if he wore it for nearly six months, that should more than do. She nodded and looked to the group. “I believe it is safe to assume Mr. Momota is not in the castle so I will...start locating him outside.” Where they wouldn’t have to walk past a ton of people. “Is there anything any of you need before we start looking?”

Kokichi had just been about to say he was ready before he thought better, getting a sweater from the closet. The winds weren’t biting yet, but...it was better to be prepared. “This is...good for me…”

It’s not like they were going far. Kaito couldn’t be little more than in the next town over, assuming he had traveled all night, which was unrealistic. He was likely still in town. 

But Maki noted the sweater, and trusting Kokichi to know the weather better than her, she went back into the closet, got Kaito’s green cape, came out and put it around Shuuichi’s shoulders. As he gave her a confused look, she just said “Shut up, just stay warm.”

Already equipped with all of her weapons, she was about to say she was ready to go.

And then something whispered in her ear...

(Because this was a matter he was allowed to break his vow for. He was allowed to interfere for something like this. The baby must survive.)

...and Maki decided, on the off, off chance they were looking well into tonight? “I’m going to bring your medicine, Shuuichi.” she said, heading out the door, before stopping and looking at Kokichi, “Should I be carrying anything on me for you? Whatever they put into that tea of yours?”

Kokichi frowned a bit but considered Maki’s concerns seriously. Okay...worst case scenario? He had an attack. There...wasn’t much his friends could do other than bring him to a healer. Giving him his medicine wouldn’t help much without proper care to stabilize him. If he got cut? 

Saving his throat the explanation, Kokichi went into the bathroom and collected the first aid kit under the sink, checking its contents before deciding that there was enough still there. Some sutures were gone, a few bandages, but there were still plenty. “This’ll help...K-Kai-chan too…”

Nadya smiled at him, having been impressed with Kokichi since she started working for him, but his kindness never seemed to fall short. “I am hoping we will not have to use much.”

Meeting Maki in the hall, they went downstairs as a group, and once out of the castle, Nadya led them off to the side, out of prying eyes’ gazes. And, taking a steadying breath, she held a hand out for the cape. “May I?”

Maki handed her the red cape, noting it was a little chilly, and said, “If this doesn’t destroy it, pass that back to me.”

Shuuichi, in turn, lowered his cap now that they were outside, drawing his cape tighter around himself and adjusting the backpack on his back, having offered to hold the first aid kit and Maki in turn giving him a backpack to put it in. Again, they weren’t going far, but...well, it would be a pain to carry it in his arms the entire way. His medicine had been put in there too, just in case.

Nadya smiled wanly, still nervous about this, but finding it kind of funny what Maki assumed. “It is not windy enough, and this cape is quite well-made. It should hold up just fine, though I believe you will find it a bit too unwieldy to wear--my apologies.”

Folding up the cape just to make things a little easier, Nadya held it on her palms and took a deep breath, concentrating hard. Alright...go back to your owner...there’s so much imprinted memory in you so...lead us there…

After a few moments, the cape began to softly glow a light purple, levitating off Nadya’s hands and, after another moment of just floating, slowly moving...to the left. 

“Here we go.” Nadya followed to keep her hands under the cape, the cloth moving faster now that it wasn’t trying to escape her. 

Kokichi’s eyes widened in awe, not...quite sure what to make of this but...weird things happened. If Nadya managed to lead them to Kaito then… He didn’t care what it was. He just wanted to find his husband. He followed after the shortstop, quick on her heels.

Demon.

Maki and Shuuichi stared in shock as the thing flew in the air. Shuuichi immediately took a step towards Maki, looking for her protection, and Maki immediately had a dagger in her hand. She...she wasn’t sure what she had actually expected to happen. The woman...smelling it or something? Following some….sense or something, not, not...this.

...but...the cape was flying, and if it really led to Kaito…

Following after Nadya and Kokichi, Maki whispered to Shuuichi, “If she makes any wrong move towards us, I’ll destroy her.”

“...okay.” Shuuichi whispered back, staring nervously at the demon. “Okay Maki. I trust you.”

Maki nodded at that, glad they were in agreement. She honestly couldn’t believe it. A real life demon...it was incredible...but she also noted Kokichi, and thinking of his lungs, ran to his side. “If you need assistance, ask me. I can carry you.”

“...thanks…” 

He did appreciate it. On a normal day, he likely wouldn’t, able to run around no problem, but...while his lungs hadn’t been damaged, the healers had told him that...it was extremely lucky that his trachea hadn’t collapsed. That he was left with pain and dark bruises, but the ability to breathe. He wanted to believe he’d be alright, but if the pain became too much…

...then he was thankful Maki had offered.

To people passing by, it looked as if Nadya was running with her arms outstretched, holding a red cloth. Weird, but not...magical. And she wasn’t planning on slowing down to let people see that she wasn’t actually touching the cloth, or that it was glowing. She couldn’t waste time trying to take backroads, so she would simply rely on people making their own explanations. 

The cape led the four through town, past the market and past one of the residential districts, all the way to the industrial side of town. As they got deeper into it, Kokichi started flagging a little, his throat catching his breaths, but he was determined to keep up. And, perhaps lucky for him, Nadya slowed in front of a closed building, the front door padlocked. 

Frowning, she walked from side to side, but… “...I believe he’s in here? It’s not pointing anywhere else…”

“...Maki...”

“I know.” Maki said, staring at the brewery in distaste. “Why would he...come here?”

“Maybe it was the only place he could think of? People don’t make rational choices when they’re panicked.” Shuuichi observed, feeling...a little sick to be here. “We could probably get in through a window. How did you get in last time, Maki?”

Maki looked up, her eyes tracing the path she used last time. “Climbed...it might be prudent to split up. If the doors are all padlocked, that might make it easier to corner Kaito, but if we give him too much notice, he’ll run again…”

Considering the climb, and the ability of all of her companions, she said to Shuuichi, “Go and see if you can find a way in from the bottom floor. If you see Kaito, don’t engage. Just keep an eye on him to see where he goes. You. Nadya?” she asked the demon, making certain she had her name right. “Stay out here. Put some distance between you and the building. If he leaves the building, you’ll be our best chance to see which direction he goes right away.”

And, also, that meant she wasn’t leaving the demon alone with any of her companions. 

To Kokichi, she frowned...before pointing to a large window on the second floor and asked, “Can you make that climb?”

Nadya nodded, dispelling the tracking on the cape and offering it to Maki, as the woman had asked before, breathing through the slight headrush. Ooph...she certainly was out of practice. The most magic she had done for years before this was minor healing spells on the battlefield, stabilizing a comrade until a healer could help them. This wasn’t the most intensive charm, not with an item so seeped in memory, but...it was like trying to pitch an inning when you had only practiced batting. Sore and achy.

Kokichi looked up to the window with a slight frown. He could...probably make it but… “...are we keeping everything locked? I have my picks ‘n stuff… Could open a way for Shuu-chan… But...yeah...think I can…”

Maki thought about it, before shaking her head. “Kaito might run the second he realizes he’s not alone, and whatever opening Shuuichi finds is likely how Kaito himself got in, and how he’ll try to get out.” she said, tying the cape around herself. “He’s not a climber. Less easy exits, especially the kind of exits you and I are suitable for? The better.”

Trusting Kokichi to follow through if he said he could do it, Maki began to climb.

The path was easy, once you knew it. The factory having plenty of edges in its design, the walls lined with bricks for the parts where edges weren’t easily available. Really, it was just a matter of climbing from window, to edge, to window again, the last climb needing a bit of a leap, which Maki did, before looking down to Kokichi, waiting to see how he’d do.

“Okay…”

The group parted ways and Kokichi followed Maki, his eyes easily picking out the path up, seeing all the little niches and ledges a person could use to climb. He paused as she began to climb, taking a moment to stretch his arms and legs. He likely would be able to take any risks, so warming up was especially important. 

Thankfully, there weren’t really any spaces that took advantage of the two inches Maki had on him, so Kokichi had an easy time pulling himself up, taking the time to steady his breathing and...trying not to move his neck very much, wincing every time he had to. 

By the time he looked up to where Maki was perched on the second story window frame, his neck was burning, hurting in a way that made him feel like his throat really was going to collapse. ...but Kaito needed help. It got cold at night...he had so many wounds, what if he’d gotten hypothermic?! At least they had his capes…

With that worry in his heart, Kokichi got as much of a run-up as he could, jumping up to the ledge--!

And squeaking in pain as he instinctively moved his head back to watch where he landed, his grip failing for a moment. 

Maki didn’t hesitate, lunging forward and grabbing him, digging her nails into the side of the window, and keeping her core strong as she grabbed him by the arm, huffing a small breath out as she pulled him up. 

Getting him to the ledge, she looked over him with new concern. Considering his neck. 

“...if you can’t do this, I need you to be honest with me.” She said, looking at his bruises, “Kaito is an enemy right now. And, he’s one that knows us all well, and has...advantages over us. It’d be enough to have you up in the stands, just to undo any orders he gives us. You don’t have to go anywhere near him.”

Kokichi helped Maki pull him up the second he got one hand back on the window, coughing shallowly, each one making him shudder in pain. And… He closed his eyes for a moment. 

“...I was being dumb before...I put you and Shuu-chan into so much danger… This isn’t a debate or an argument...Kai-chan’s lost his mind. The best thing I can offer is my words, not to him, but to you…”

Kokichi opened his eyes, apologetic but determined. “As long as he can put you guys in danger, I’ll stay away. I’ll undo anything he does, and I’ll believe in you and Shuu-chan to help him. Get him Seiko’s medicine, knock him out if you have to… Just...please don’t let him kill himself…”

Maki nodded, before going to open the window, not surprised to see it was still unlocked as she lifted it up...before turning to Kokichi and saying, “Don’t forget. You’re higher on our chain of command. Undoing his orders is one thing, but he can’t undo one of yours. If you can think of a way to word it, that could help us not be influenced in the first place? Try it.”

Finishing lifting the window, she secured it, and then walked in.

-

“I...might kill you.” Kaito told Togami, surprised by that revelation, sitting on the stairs, shifting uncomfortably with the handcuffs behind his back.

He...was so dizzy. 

Togami sighed, crossing his arms over himself. He was...wearing a mix of the two forms Kaito knew him best as, though neither of them were his ‘real’ ones. When he had been pretending to be Byakuya for the Luminary kingdom, and Kaito and himself had started getting...more physical, Kaito had eventually asked to see the ‘real him’. To get to know the ‘real’ Togami.

And Togami had...just made something up for him to see.

Shape shifters didn’t have a ‘real’ form. People thought it took effort, to hold their shapes. It didn’t. Changing their form wasn’t like putting on a costume. It was just...who they were. Every form Togami could take as natural feeling as every other. All....’him’. Or ‘her’. Or ‘them’. Whatever he had looked like when he was born? Was a version long gone and immediately abandoned as a baby. 

But, that wasn’t a comfort, to humans. It was a difficult idea for them to get their heads around. There had to be a ‘real’ version to how they looked, and considering Kaito thought he was human, that was even more prudent. 

So, the image he had shown Kaito was his preferred body type (300+ pounds, for its durability), Byakuya’s body language when it came to mannerisms and temperament (because that was what Kaito had fallen in love with), and with black eyes and medium length straight, black hair. Neutral looking. Simple. As false or as real as any other image Togami put on, but the one Kaito was familiar with.

And...not wanting to unduly influence Kaito, he wasn’t using his siren pheromones. Not right now. He hadn’t had to use it on him before, and he desperately wanted that to remain the case. It would have made the handcuffs unnecessary, the drug weakening his body unnecessary…

But, selfishly. Togami just wanted to give Kaito the chance to love him.

Ahhh, but, stress stimulus bullshit...or, at least that was what Togami hoped those words were, as he sighed. “Just be calm, Kaito. We’re just waiting for our ride, and then it’s a short trip to Doctor Ford's house. We have medicine there. It’ll help. I promise.”

“...you left me…I waited…”

Togami gave him a sad look...before shaking his head, sighing in annoyance. “Just rest, Kaito. We’ll have time to discuss that, there’s no need to waste breath on it now. Everything is okay. I’m going to take care of you.”

“...gonna kill you…” Kaito swore. The rage bubbling inside of him, trying to fight the dulling effects of the drug. “...you left me...I waited for eight hours…you fucker...”

Togami sighed. Hoping the dutchess would hurry.

Something to not let them be influenced...but it couldn’t be...like, don’t be brainwashed anymore. It didn’t work like that. Kokichi thought about...removing Kaito from their ‘chain of command’ but...he didn’t understand it. What might seem like nothing to him might...be ruining something that Kaito and Shuuichi and Maki held in special regard. ...he didn’t know. 

...he didn’t know…

-

Izais sighed, tapping on her scarred arms, as Aurelia led the horses to the area the siren had told them about. They hadn’t even gotten to town when she’d had a ‘visit’ with their queen, no time to meet with her daughter, no time to even unpack. They had simply dropped off their driver as soon as they’d gotten into the city and had headed to the factory. 

She supposed she could be a little understanding, though. That siren...they really loved that human. She thought how they were going about it was pretty strange, but everyone got strange in their old age, and the elder siren and the queen weren’t exactly people she could say no to. 

But for the sake of love, and to stop a human with unchecked poppy intake from going on a rampage...surely Lythalia would understand. Their visit would only be delayed a little bit. A few days was nothing compared to months of travel. Nor was a few hours, though she could easily sense the siren’s impatience. 

But she didn’t specialize in teleportation. Maybe next time don’t drug the people you love.

Maki stared down at the two figures down at the staircase, one of them clearly Kaito, recognizing that bright red hair anywhere. The other person was just some large man. Who…? 

It didn’t matter. Or, maybe it did. Maybe he was a remnant. But that was a later problem. The current problem was getting Kaito back. 

Trusting Kokichi to be silent as she tapped him on the shoulder, getting his attention, before pointing at herself, then showing him the path she was going to. Then, she started quietly climbing down. 

Last time, she had just jumped from the window onto the ground, needing to get to the center of the brewery as quickly as she could, needing to get to Shuuichi. This time, her target was at the stairs on the opposite end of the room, and she needed to get the jump on them. Kaito looked subdued already, which was a blessing, but whoever had managed to subdue him was likely extremely dangerous. She had to be careful. She had to keep an eye out for accomplices as well, the large man likely not alone.

Leaping as quietly as she could from the window to the safety rail of the second floor, she quickly jumped from there to one of the brewery containers, hiding herself in case the large man had heard the impact of her landing. But the large man was talking to Kaito, who kept...well, growling at him, to be frank. Maki couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but the tone was obvious: Kaito was upset, and the man was trying to calm him.

Jumping from canister to canister, Maki got closer to them, making her way to the other side of the room. Making it to the farthest, left canister, she climbed to the top of it, peering down at the potential remnant…

And her eyes widened.

“...that’s impossible.” she whispered.

Kokichi silently nodded, watching Maki’s path carefully though he knew there was nothing he could do if she slipped. Once she got past the railing, he’d never be able to make it to her in time, and calling out would only put her in more danger. But...it felt better to keep an eye on her, at least. Less heartbreaking. 

He stayed in the window, knowing that it was the best place he could be to keep everyone safe. If he was out of the way, able to make an easy exit, then they wouldn’t worry about him and would be able to make safer decisions. 

Even if looking out to the other side of the brewery, he saw that shock of red hair and felt the same impulse to run to his husband. To wrap him in blankets and get him something warm to drink, maybe a light meal since he’d missed dinner and now breakfast… To check on all his wounds, make sure none had reopened, bandage them if he needed to… To hold Kaito and apologize for not being enough, for not allaying how scary Dicea was to someone not accustomed to it...to apologize, though not as directly, for the awful, cruel things that happened to him growing up, and continued to happen because of how much of an ego-tistical tyrant his brother was. 

He just wanted Kaito to be happy… Even if he couldn’t figure out how, he would still try. He’d do everything in his power so that Kaito would be able to smile brightly. 

Even if he knew that, on the spores, he wouldn’t be able to do any of that. Kaito would more likely break his neck than listen for more than a word. 

Still, Kokichi looked out sadly across the brewery, his heart (metaphorically!!) hurting more than his neck, even as his breaths started coming out with a soft wheeze on every exhale. 

Shuuichi eventually found the broken window, and looked in concern at the small traces of blood he saw in the bottom and right of the glass. Kaito had definitely broken this window and climbed in, and hadn’t been concerned about cutting himself. 

He frowned at the blood. He didn’t want to cut himself in the same way, so taking off his backpack, he rooted through it, and took out one of his batons (Maki had grabbed them. He hadn’t commented when he saw her put them in the backpack, but was glad to find a use for them at least), before breaking more of the glass off, creating a safe way to climb through. He considered, briefly, putting the baton back in the backpack...but reached in for the second one, and put both batons in his pockets.

Climbing through the window, he looked around...he was in a hallway full of offices. The brewery wasn't exactly complex in its design, and he headed quietly down the hallway, peeking into each room as he went. Office, half destroyed. Looked like someone had hit the desk and the windows a few times. A bathroom with stalls. Storage closet. 

But as he got to the double doors, he heard two people talking, and immediately shuffled to the side of the door, listening in. 

Someone was right outside. On the staircase, it sounded like. He could hear Kaito talking. He sounded...out of it. His speech pattern slow. 

Drugged?

And the other person...wait…

Shuchi furrowed his brow, just...knowing that was impossible. There was actually no way. Maki would have never…

But as he listened, the more convinced he was.

Togami?

Outside, Kaito scowled at him...before chuckling darkly at him, “Oh sure. Yeah, you’re gonna...fucking take care of me...sure, Togami...FUCK YOU!”

Kaito pulled at the handcuffs, standing up on the stairs and moving to tackle the larger man...before his vision doubled and he whined, falling. Togami was quick to catch him, and after a moment of concern, just huffed...before dropping him.

Kaito collapsed on the ground with a thud, as Togami said above him. “I’m not indulging you, Kaito. I know you don’t have much control of yourself right now, but if this is how it’s going to be for the next week? I’m not putting up with your little outbursts.”

“F-fuck you...hate you…”

...maybe he could just get...a little closer. He still wouldn’t be in danger on the other side of the processing floor and…

Kokichi winced in sympathy as he saw Kaito wobble and fall, at first relieved that the person with him (who the hell was that???) caught him before… He frowned, knowing that Kaito wouldn’t be the easiest person to tolerate right now but...he was hurt! You don’t just drop people who are hurt!

...more reason for him to stay out of sight, but Kokichi couldn’t help it. 

Carefully, he dropped from the window ledge, landing lightly on the second floor catwalk, staying low behind the railings for a good moment, letting the shadows obscure him. Good thing he’d chosen a dark purple sweater. After waiting what he considered a safe amount of time, then a little more, he peeked up over the railing, watching Kaito on the ground and just...wishing he could go over there and put his head in his lap. Promise that everything would be alright, sweets, I’m sorry for not noticing sooner...I love you…

Togami looked down at him and sighed. Come on, Dutchess, please...he needed the medicine, and Togami couldn’t risk just walking down the road with him. They needed the safety of a carriage. The privacy of it. 

Kneeling down, Kaito stared up at him with fury in his eyes, as Togami just looked at him, his stern features softening slightly, reaching down to run a hand through his hair as he said, “You don’t mean that. I can...I can barely feel you, but...I know you still feel for me. I know it.”

He trusted the queen. She was his oldest friend. If she said she could feel Kaito’s love for him, underneath the pollen? Then Togami believed her. Kaito still loved him. He just...couldn’t express that right now.

Kaito grit his teeth, his rage struggling to overcome the drug that Togami had injected into him...before his eyes burned. So frustrated. “I was free, I was free, please...I just wanna disappear. Just let me go...I was gonna take a ship…see the world.”

“And you’d have thrown yourself off the ship before you made it twenty miles out.” Togami said, rolling his eyes, before helping Kaito up, sitting him next to the wall, entirely unaware Shuuichi was on the other side of it. “And that’s what I’m protecting you from, Kaito. Once you’re stable? No more handcuffs, no more drugs. I promise, Kaito.” Togami said gently, putting his hand against his cheek. “You’re not a prisoner.” 

Maki looked around. Okay….she was going to wait for him to walk away from Kaito. Put some distance between them. Then she could take him out…

...the stranger sat him up, at least. Kokichi sighed, wincing at the high, whistling, wheezing sound that came with it. God...his throat hurt so much… Part of him hoped that the spores were at least shielding Kaito from some of the pain he must be in. Hadn’t Seiko said they could do that?

They said he’d fallen over the safety rail, landed on the stairs… Nothing neurological was damaged, at least, since he’d managed to run all the way here, but…

Kokichi shuffled quietly over to the stairs on his side of the building, creeping a little closer, unable to keep himself from worrying. 

-

Almost bored, Izais closed her eyes and felt out for the old Flora. Trying to let him know that they were almost there.

He felt the Dutchess brush against him. Almost there. Okay,  good. “Almost time, Kaito.” Togami reassured him, standing up and heading over to one of the boarded up windows, wanting to peek out to see if he could see the carriage rolling up-OW!

Everything kinda happened at once. 

Shuuichi knew Maki hadn’t wanted him to engage, but there was something almost...less threatening now, knowing who had Kaito. This was the same guy who had paid for every dinner outing, had gotten drunk with them, had laughed and made jokes and reassured and listened. 

He had been a friend.

And...under different circumstances? Shuuichi would have been thrilled to see him. But Kaito sounded drugged and, as Shuuichi ran through the door, was cuffed, and the fact that Togami had had to do either of those things, meant that this wasn’t a ‘happy reunion’. 

So, as Maki leapt from the second floor, throwing two more daggers into Togami’s flesh, who did nothing to dodge them but drew his arm over his face, protecting his head, Shuuichi went to Kaito, trying to help him up as he said, “Come on, come on Kaito, we’ve got you!”

“Oh, fuck. No. Get off me!” Kaito said, shaking himself out of Shuuichi’s grip, so fucking...he had come to terms with the fact that he had lost them. Hell, the idea filled him with real, honest joy! And now…”Get off me, Shuuichi! I’m not going back! If you had ever loved me once, you’d get me out of these handcuffs and let me leave!”

As Maki appraised Togami, three daggers in him, one in his arm, one in his chest, and the other in his stomach, she waited for him to go down...and tensed when he just lowered his arm, huffing a breath, collecting himself, “Well? Not going to throw the next six, Maki?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at the assassin.

“You shouldn’t be here…” Maki told him. Fear gripping her insides as he spoke to her. In a way, she had thought that this had to have been a trick. That it couldn’t actually be him. But seeing him look at her… “No person could have survived that.”

Togami gave her a gentle look with those stern features, and said simply, “That’s true. And I forgive you for that...MAKI!” 

And suddenly he looked different. His hair was blond. He had glasses on his face. His eyes fierce and intelligent, shocking blue, as he said in His voice, “DROP!”

Maki almost, almost obeyed just on instinct...but narrowed her eyes. Heat radiating as she readied two more daggers, “Didn’t work last time, won’t work this time!!” she screamed, leaping.

Kokichi flinched as his friends lept into action, wanting to be there with them, but...that wasn’t his place. Not in this. He just...had to trust in his friends to do what was right, and he was there to give them the tools to do that. To stop Kaito from hurting anyone.

However...as he watched Maki face off against the stranger...his eyes widened first in utter confusion than in rage. This...person? Tried to order Maki?! He had wanted to offer first aid but...the person didn’t look like they were bothered by the daggers at all. So...what on earth?

As confusing as that all was, Kokichi couldn’t ignore how Kaito tried to shake Shuuichi off. He wanted to call out but...what? What could he do? Kaito wasn’t listening to anyone right now; wouldn’t until the spores stopped fucking with his brain. 

...still, Kokichi let himself keep to the shadows as he lightly ran down the stairs to the main floor, trying to get closer. Trying to think, c’mon idiot, think! You need to help your friends!

Togami squared his legs and chest, unafraid as Maki leapt. Half of fighting counted on the other person doing everything they could to avoid being hit or knocked down or just flinching at the approaching danger, but if you weren’t worried about any of those things? It was easy to counter most combat moved, and Maki’s eyes widened as Togami caught both of her wrists, ignoring the daggers lodging into his own wrists as, securing her arms, he yelled and brought her down, thumping her against the floor, Maki’s head slamming into the cement with a terrifying thump. 

“Maki!” Shuuichi called out, standing up and flicking the batons on-- Kaito flinched, stressed by the sound of the electricity-- as he ran to Togami, raising the batons. 

Daggers were one thing, but electricity? Togami frowned, backing up and saying “Shuuichi, answer: list every type of ins-gah!” he shouted, Maki kicking at his ankles, causing him to fall as Shuuichi leapt, bringing down the batons on his chest as Togami screamed out.

Kaito watched all this, before looking at the open doors. This was his chance.

Getting up, he ran around the corner and down the hall, aiming for the window he had come in from.

Kokichi gasped as Maki hit the ground, a shock of true terror running through him. And through the sharp burn in his throat, he could no longer stay still. He had started to run forward, pure rage building a shout at that terrifying stranger, wanting to get his friends away from such a cruel person, but he noticed Kaito make a break for it and…

...Maki and Shuuichi were smart, and they could handle that person. They were here for Kaito. 

Making a quick pivot, he ran after his husband, every breath wheezing as he squeaked out a desperate, “Kai-chan! Wait!”

(‘Kichi?)

Shit.

Oh god, but Kaito couldn’t help it. Halfway down the hallway, he stopped, looking back at his husband, a grin splitting his face. “Hey! Kokichi! Hey, beautiful...”

Hearing the sounds of fighting out in the brewery, Kaito suddenly thought of the handcuffs and, grin widening, he got onto his knees, appearing less looming, and said to Kokichi, “Hey, ‘Kichi? Could you help me out of these handcuffs? Togami’s gonna hurt me if he catches me again...I need your help, babe.”

Kokichi came closer to Kaito but… His expression was torn, agonized as he so badly wanted to help Kaito...but just letting him loose would...Kaito would…

“You’re injured… Kai-chan, you’re on spores, you’re gonna hurt people…” Kokichi sent a worried look back down the hall, just more confusion painting him. He stepped around to Kaito’s back, taking a look at the handcuffs anyway, at least wanting to make sure they weren’t cutting into Kaito’s wrists. “T-togami? ...your friend from Luminary? Wa...aa...what’s he doing here?”

Gently, Kokichi took a look at Kaito’s wrists, feeling sick at all the stitched up cuts along his arms. “Please...we want to get you help, love…”

“My friend? Sure...yeah. Something like that...”

Oh, Kaito bet they wanted to help him...wanted to send him away...fucking...condition him. Make him sweet. Kokichi’s ‘sweets’. For fucks sake.

Patience, calm…

(...I want him.)

“You can, you can, you can help me,’Kichi.” Kaito promised him, listening to the sound of a window shattering in the main brewery. “But, but, w-we should go outside, okay? And you should uncuff me. I’ll come with you, Kokichi, I just need you to trust me, okay?”

Something like a friend? And judging by the way he had tried to order around Maki and Shuuichi…

With some difficulty, Kokichi sighed and pressed his face to Kaito’s shoulder. “...I want to trust you...and, normally, I do. But that’s why I can’t right now. Because the spores mean that you’ll break that trust. ...I love you, Kai-chan.”

Coughing into an arm, shaking from the pain of it, he nodded towards the door. “W-we need to get Shuu-ch...aa...Maa…” He couldn’t get the words out, the pain from his throat too severe, but, with a hand on Kaito’s arm, he took a small step back to the main factory floor, hoping Kaito would get the idea and come with. 

If they went outside, Kaito would try to run. Nadya was there, but he’d managed to evade Sei and Ikuo the day before. There was no telling if he’d do it again. Everyone just...needed to chill out. Get Kaito the medicine. Get the...Luminary guard? Away from his friends. 

(Kokichi’s hurt.)

Yeah. Kaito had choked him.

Kaito had choked him…

“...Kokichi, I don’t want to go back.” he said quietly. Standing still, not allowing himself to be lead. Staring down at him sadly. “I don’t want this. Please. Spores or not, conditioning or not, therapy or not...I’m no good for you, and I don’t even want to be…”

That made Kokichi stop. He stopped and looked up at Kaito, knowing he shouldn’t believe what he was saying right then, the same as when Shuuichi had tried to anger them all, trying to get them to leave so he could self-destruct… He hadn’t given up on Shuuichi then, and he wasn’t giving up on Kaito now. But even if that was true…

Despite the deeply hurt expression on his face, the ache in his heart...Kokichi whispered, “Okay…”

“...if you really...don’t...want me… If you don’t want to try...then okay.” His expression was downcast but with a sort of forced calm, even as his eyes watered. Not able to parse if it was the spores speaking because...well, he’d been waiting for this. The day Kaito would finally look at him and realize that there was no way…

...but that didn’t matter. Feelings didn’t matter when it came to the well-being of another person. 

“...but please...you’re injured...and you spent the night in the cold… I just want you to be safe...to be happy… So please let us get you some medical help then...you can go. If you really want to...you can go…”

A few fat tears rolled down round cheeks, but Kokichi didn’t stop. 

“But if...that Togami person is gonna hurt our friends...I need to help them. So...please wait here, Kai-chan. And...even if you don’t feel the same...never did...I still love you.”

Kokichi turned, his heart breaking, but his step not hesitating before he started running back to the main floor.

Kaito stared, heartbroken...Kokichi was still trying to trick him. Kaito had been honest for once...and his husband didn’t care…

Kaito furrowed his brow, listening to those assholes fight over him in the brewery...and turned and ran. He’d find some other way out of the handcuffs. He just had to get away from everyone.

Back in the brewery, Maki was now actively bleeding from the head, still reeling from her headfirst blow into the window (why did everyone always throw her!?), Shuuichi now kneeling in the corner, reciting“-Grasshopper, Cicada, Aphid-”. He still hda one of his batons, but Maki had run out of daggers and had the other one, aiming for Togami’s head, who dodged her and kicked her in the back, sending her flying again.

Togami was getting tired. Six daggers were lodged into various parts of his body, and the electricity was the worst of it, easily...but he was old, and this was hardly his first fight with an assassin.

Hell, it wasn’t even his first fight with Maki. And, like last time, he was doing his best not to kill her, but as he looked around, he realized he had lost track of Kaito. Shit. He couldn’t keep being distracted. He had to go.

DUTCHESS.

MY HUMAN IS RUNNING AND I’M UNDER ATTACK.

HELP!

He looked over at the door, and saw the dicean prince. That...that was probably her new boss. If she couldn’t see who was ordering her...

So, while her back was turned and she couldn’t see either of them, in the princes’ voice, he ordered, “Maki-Chan! Drop, cover your ears, and hum your favorite song!”

Maki’s eyes widened, and she fell. “Hmmmmmmmhmmhmmhmm.” She hummed to herself, covering her ears.

Still in Kokichi’s voice, Togami sighed and said, “Well, that worked…” before, in Togami’s voice, he looked over at Kokichi, and, walking towards him said, “Where did he go then?”

Kokichi glared at the man, Togami, with all the fury he held for Luminary, for all the people and the system who had hurt people close to him, still with heartbroken tears running down his face. But even with his weak, raspy voice, he snarled at Togami, “People are not your property, you monster.” 

Ignoring the man, he ran for Maki, the blood covering her making him sick, but he wouldn’t be able to help anyone if he fainted now. 

-

Outside, two women were having an odd conversation, another looking on in distrust, before the oldest of the trio straightened and rolled her eyes. “That Momota prince is headed our way, apparently. Honestly, I don’t know why no one in our groups just knocked him out--people on poppies are just dangers to themselves and others. No point in trying to reason until they’re stabilized. Look, Nadya, dear--help me corner him and then we can sort this all out.”

And, finding no reason not to, as she’d already traced a sigil on the carriage to track it if the older woman and her escort made a break for it, Nadya agreed.

Kaito had crawled out the window, ignoring the cuts, and picked a random direction and ran. 

He just needed to get away. He’d escape, he’d work out what to do about the cuffs, he’d go to the coast, he’d change his name, get on a ship, just get away from all this.

No more orders, no more people to take care of, no more people who were better then him in every fucking way…

Running between a building and a fence, thinking worst comes to worst maybe he could at least tuck himself in some corner and hide it out until all of them left...but he came up to a wall, which was baffling. Why...it looked like someone had blocked off the end of the corner, walling it off from the backyard of the building. Not...not ideal...what were the odds no one would come down here? Well, maybe he could get lucky…

Right about then, Nadya was wishing she had held on to the cape. It would be tiring, but she would at least have an idea where Kaito had run off to. One of the women from the carriage, Aurelia, had gone left around the building, and so Nadya had gone left. The other woman, Izais, had stayed at the entrance, trying to sense Kaito’s direction. 

Dark mages. Weirdos, the lot of them. 

But it did make things easier to communicate with each other. Izais and Aurelia apparently had some other sort of connection with each other and their partner inside the foreclosed building, but, both being magic-users, Nadya had given the older woman one of her gloves, and Izais had given her a hair clip, and they had agreed to communicate through those. 

Jogging lightly but briskly, Nadya came to a weird sort of alley, and as she walked down it… Touching the hair clip, she sent the signal.

-

Kokichi had crouched by Maki’s side, trying to pry one of her hands away while not agitating the wound on her head, and… “Maki-chan, disregard all orders except this one for the rest of the day! No exceptions!”

Gotta hum, gotta hum, the kids will die, your siblings will die, they’ll all day if you don’t obey, you gotta...gotta…

Maki blinked, before lowering her hands, looking at her boss in confusion. “...okay.” before looking over at Shuuichi and shouting, “Shuuichi, disregard question!”

Shuuichi sighed, stopping, before looking around in frustration, “Man...I did not miss people knowing that about me…” before his eyes widened, looking around, “Kaito!?”

Togami, in turn, now that no one was actually, actively attacking him, ran to the window to look out between the boards, before cursing quietly to himself. Turning back to them, he said, “You all need to stop. This is entirely unnecessary and more then a little annoying. He doesn’t want to go with you. He’ll be happier and healthier with me. Just let this go.”

Maki stood up, clutching her head….before glaring at Togami, stepping towards him. “He ran from you too. Fucking go back to whatever hell you crawled out of, Togami.”

“Careful, Maki. I’ve forgiven you under the assumption that you took no joy in it. I might take more offense if I Thought it was personal.” Togami said darkly.

Shuuichi got up, looking around earnestly. “Togami, Kaito is sick. Deadly sick. Forget where he wants to be, we need to get him to the healers back in the castle. We have to find him!”

“He doesn’t want to be anywhere,” Kokichi rasped, now going over to Shuuichi, trying to get the first aid kit out. “He wants to destroy himself.”

“And you.” Kokichi glared at Togami, even as he shimmied out of his sweater, going over to offer it to press to his wounds, even if the man didn’t seem phased by them. “I don’t know what the hell you’re even here for, but a choice from Byakuya isn’t a choice when it comes to Kai-chan, so don’t even start. The Luminary guard doesn’t have jurisdiction here, not even when it comes to Kai-chan.”

Coughing and trembling, he started for the stairs, aiming to climb back out of the window. “He needs help...he’s going to kill himself...but once he’s okay...then Kai-chan can decide what he wants for himself. He doesn’t need more fucking people making decisions for him.”

Togami looked at the sweater this a raised eyebrow, before tossing it aside onto the ground. Then, one by one, he ripped the daggers out of himself, tossing them onto the floor as he said between rips, “Trust me, I am fully aware of Prince Byakuya’s undue influence-” rip “-on Kaito. And you’re right: choice from him is-” rip “-not a choice. But, then, that’s perhaps even more of a reason he should come with-” rip “-me, since I am not in any way part of his pool of stoolies, and more importantly, I can successfully  keep him away from people who are.”

Rip “And, he does need help. Which I am far more qualified to give-” rip “-him then literally anyone in this kingdom. Any argument you have against that is a mixture of ignorance and arrogance, and, honestly? I don’t have time for either.”

Ripping the last of the daggers out, Togami took in a breath, looked up at Kokichi climbing the stairs...and said, a touch of regret on his face. “I’m genuinely sorry it came to all this. But he really will be better off, if that matters to you.”...and bolted.

Togami ran for the double doors by the stairs, turning the corner, Maki who had just been getting bandaged up by Shuuichi running after him before Shuuichi could finish, the long end of the bandage flying behind her as she ran. But to Maki’s (not exact shock. He had been faster then her last time too, but she still couldn’t fathom how this 300 pound man was pulling that off) surprise, he was already at and out the window by the time she turned the corner, turning out of her sight.

Outside, Togami reached out to the other Flora. I’m outside. Does anyone have eyes on my human!? We have to leave, now!

Kokichi glanced over at Togami with confusion. ...if he wasn’t sent by Byakuya then...who was this guy??? Some...stranger? Coming by all of a sudden, seemingly with little to no relation to anyone? Other than his friends knowing who he was but...other than that?

...he didn’t trust this guy to be able to care for Kaito better than anyone else. Not without proof. But...being taken away while he was drugged wasn’t a choice either. That was just a kidnapping.

...which was similar thinking to what Duchess Izais was thinking outside, overseeing Aurelia heft the unconscious prince into the carriage. Calm down, calm down. We’ve subdued him and there’s really no rush. We’re going to that doctor you mentioned, correct? Would these friends and family of, as you so righteously say, ‘your human’ know where that is? I believe you are the only among us who would be able to give directions.

Duchess, as much as I appreciate your help, I’d appreciate more a little less condescension in your tone. Togami thought with a huff. He got it! She got to keep her human with minimal fuss. They had been happy together! He was literally having to kidnap his, he knew that. 

But, he was making the best out of a bad situation! He had wanted to leave Kaito to the comforts of the human world! He hadn’t wanted this shit for him! He had just...been unable to hide how much he missed him from the queen. And the queen’s whole job was to make Flora happy, and she cared about him especially, and...look, now eight people were dead, two more kidnapped, a third one locked in a basement, and Kaito was literally chest deep in spores. To say it had all spiraled out of Togami’s control was more than an understatement, and he was doing the best he could to get a handle on it now!

He didn’t need some Flora who had gotten her happily ever after fucking judging him.

I’ll meet you at the house. Just, here, here’s the memory of where it is, just take it and meet me there. We’ll leave tonight for the witch, be there by noon tomorrow, and you can go back to your damned vacation. 

Togami closed his eyes, searched within himself, and sent that memory to his fellow Flora, before heading in the opposite direction, determined to lose Maki for good.

Izais sighed and smoothed out her skirt, turning to Nadya with an apologetic look. “We are taking Prince Kaito to receive some medical help, which he does need as soon as possible, but it seems our base of operations is at a Doctor Ford’s home? We do have room to take a few of you with us, but I’m afraid we cannot all travel as one.”

It was...strange that this woman was so amenable to just...explaining everything, but Nadya would not look this gift horse in the mouth. Doctor Ford...that was Kaito’s therapist, wasn’t it? She was sure she’d heard the name thrown around by her coworkers. Being so utterly blindsided by everything, Nadya didn’t bother to factor in how the doctor fit into all of this. 

Giving the older woman a nod, Nadya looked back at the brewery. “If you would not mind waiting a few moments, we have more vulnerable members of our party that I believe would appreciate an easier ride. I will walk, and communicate with you through our established method, if that is amenable to you.”

“Of course, of course, dear. A minute or two will not hurt Prince Kaito at this point.”

Maki had lost Togami, but hadn’t been willing to admit it for another good ten minutes before, just, incredibly frustrated, she ran back to the brewery, where Shuuichi and Kokichi were waiting outside for her. “I...fuck, I don’t know. It’s like he just vanished!” Maki growled, pulling at her hair as she looked around the streets around him, as if there’d be some clue. “Has anyone seen Nadya? We need her trick again.”

Kokichi had pressed his forehead to Shuuichi’s arm, trying to meter out his breath in a way that didn’t hurt, trembling and shivering from pain and the cold. He...regretfully needed to take a breather one they’d gotten out of the brewery. He needed to confirm that Kaito would be alright but…

(...he couldn’t take much more of this…)

He looked up, exhausted, when Maki returned, about to answer her when a voice came from around the building. 

“Ah, there you all are. Mr. Ouma, Mr. Saihara, Duchess Nohran is willing to give you two a ride to Dr. Ford’s abode,” Nadya explained, as if this was all normal. “Unfortunately, there is not much room in the carriage with her and Mr. Momota already inside, so Miss Harukawa, if you would mind completing the trip on foot? Of course, you can change the trip groups--I simply suggested what I believed would be the most pleasing arrangement based on what I know of you all at this point.”

Maki and Shuuichi looked at her, stunned...before Shuuichi said earnestly, “You’ve found Kaito!?”

Maki, in turn, narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “How? Where?”

Nadya nodded, more overwhelmed by the mixture of hope and heartbreak in Kokichi’s eyes than Shuuichi and Maki’s questions. “He ran around the side of the building, and Duchess Nohran knocked him out. Apparently her associate enlisted her help in collecting Mr. Momota so they can take him to Danganronpa. However, she believes there need to be some major explanations before the trip happens, so she informed me that they are meeting at Dr. Ford’s home to get Mr. Momota medicine.”

She shrugged. “I really do not understand the full breadth of what’s going on here, but I believe it would serve us all best to talk it out.”

Kokichi whistled out a sigh. “...makes two of us…”

Shuuichi’s brow furrowed. “Dr. Ford? Isn’t that Kaito’s therapist?” 

Maki, in turn, raised an eyebrow at Nadya’s explanation, “So...one of the people enlisted to help Kaito’s kidnapper has decided to work with us instead? I...find that hard to trust…”

“Does it matter? If they have Kaito but are willing to let us get to him, we can’t exactly risk saying no.” Shuuichi pointed out to her, “Me and Kokichi should-”

Maki shook her head. “Not a chance. This could, at worst, be an effort to take Prince Kokichi right alongside Kaito, and their unborn child as well. The two of you are not going into a carriage alone with them. Let’s see what the situation looks like first. Nadya,” she said, turning to the demon, “Can you lead the way?”

“This way, please.” Nadya turned to lead the group back to the carriage, Aurelia and Izais chatting quietly before the duchess looked over, performing a light curtsey.

“Ah, Prince Kokichi. I wish it was under better circumstances, but it is a pleasure to meet you. Your husband is sleeping in the carriage and we aim to get him medical attention as soon as we regroup.” The older woman, her already light hair turning silver and wrinkles around her eyes from years of soft smiles, then looked over the group of young adults, frowning in concern. 

“Oh my… Did they do this to you?” She came forward, looking from the bandages trailing off of Maki to the small cuts littering Shuuichi to the heavy bruises around Kokichi’s neck. “Of all the...tsk. For how invested they are, you’d think they’d be more careful. Well, we can attend to you all as well. Who is riding with us?”

Kokichi stared at the woman in just...utter confusion. “...is...Kai-chan alright?”

Aurelia scowled off to the side, already her distaste for that siren growing from hearing the rasp in the little human’s voice. She wasn’t sure how accurate the gossip in Danganronpa had been but...there had been plenty of rumors of how sweet the princes were together in the border towns they’d stopped in. She wasn’t going to argue against her lady, but for that siren to try and break the cute couple up? Disgraceful. 

The escort opened the side of the carriage, revealing an unconscious Kaito, propped up with a pillow protecting his head. “My lady put him to sleep with a sleeping spell. He should wake up in a few hours, though with his unmanaged spores, he needs medicine as soon as possible.”

Maki put her hand in front of Shuuichi, who immediately stepped forward at the sight of him, stopping him. Getting into the carriage herself, she looked Kaito over, ensuring he was both just sleeping and wasn’t trapped in some way, determined both of these things were true...and then, without a word to anyone, dragged Kaito out of the carriage.

Taking him to Shuuichi, she said, “Can you carry him over your shoulders? At least long enough to find guards for help or get to the pharmacy?”

Shuuichi looked at Kaito in concern, before nodding. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Maki helped Kaito onto his shoulder, before taking a step back. “Good. Everyone here is fucking crazy if you think I plan to come with you to deliver him to the place his kidnapper was trying to take him to in the first place. Shuuichi, get him to Seiko. Prince Kokichi,” she said, turning to her prince, “...officially, I advise you against coming with me. I think you should stay with Shuuichi and Kaito. But I have every intention of going with these people to Dr. Fords house, and…”

Her firsts clenched, scowling, “I will admit, everyone is more likely to survive if someone comes with me.”

Aurelia stepped forward, startled. “H-hey! What do you think you’re doing!”

However, Izais just raised her hand, calming her escort. Then, she turned to Maki, regarding the young woman for a moment. “...in all honesty, I am only helping my elder on the request of our queen, but I do believe she is in the wrong here. They explained that they truly care about Prince Kaito, that they love him and have missed him every day they’ve been apart...and that drove me to lend my aid more than any higher request. However, the way they have been treating not just Prince Kaito, but the people around him is…” She made a face. “...disgraceful.”

“I have heard rumors that there is a Dicean healer that has been making strides managing spores, but I will insist that we hand off some proper medicine. If that only comes after we all talk, then so be it.”

Kokichi looked between everyone, clearly torn. He wanted to be with Shuuichi and Kaito, his loves, but...Kaito didn’t want to be around him, not right now. And...if what this woman was saying was right…

“...Maki-chan...Togami said it too...they know more about the spores than we d-do… If it can help Kai-chan, I think we should talk with them…”

Both Shuuichi and Maki picked up on that. 

...queen?

Shuuichi, deciding he should start moving while eyes were still on him, started heading down the road, Kaito in tow, determined to find either help or get to the pharmacy. Maki watched him go, listening to the women and Kokichi.

Finally, she looked over at the woman, and said, “...I don’t actually care why you’ve betrayed your companion. I just know you did it quickly and within moments of meeting one of us, and anyone who can betray their own that quickly and casually can’t be trusted to not turn on us just as quickly and just as casually. So, yes, we will go talk with you all, because I don’t want this all to happen again. And yes, if you have medicine that will help, we want it.”

“But, no, I’m not banking on your ‘good nature’ or your motivations or what you imply your sense of justice is.  I’m banking on you either taking us where we need to go right now, or me being in proximity to deal with you if you don’t.”

Getting into the carriage, one last look at Shuuichi retreating figure, she crossed her arms and said, “So? Let’s go.”

Betrayal was such a strong word. She was a ride and nothing more. Just as much as their queen really cared. 

Really, the number of Flora that treated humans as little more than livestock… Shouldn’t the fact that Flora only existed because of humans be a tip off? The fact that no Flora could bear a child? They were the unnatural blight on the planet, not the other way around. 

Queen Enoshima may say she cared for the Flora (and not any of the other kinds of people who lived in her kingdom, the people she was supposed to care for) and, well, she did. But only for her own comfort, unable to stand feeling their discomfort. Like the siren, the queen was old, but what had they ever done with their lives? Made the Flora live in fear of the nosy woman constantly listening in on their thoughts, desensitized them to the fear and suffering of others…

Izais could only hope to protect those who lived in her duchy. Flora and humans and abominations and all sorts of creatures, just looking for a place to live. 

...it wasn’t as though she didn’t understand Lythalia’s desire to get away from Danganronpa and other Flora. Instead, she simply channeled that into responsibility, rather than solitary escape. 

“Sure, dear. Whatever you say,” Izais sighed, getting into the carriage while Aurelia stepped up to help the other two, sticking her tongue out at Maki’s back as she snubbed the escort, and being extra gentle to help Kokichi up. 

-

Ya know, it really wasn’t all that bad, living in his basement.

Dr. Ford hasn’t exactly decorated his basement with ‘prison’ vibes in mind, over the years. There was a guest bedroom, more or less put in place for when his in-laws came to town, and a bathroom and small kitchen also put in place, really just to...encourage his in-laws to stay down there for as long as possible when they came to visit. Walled off from that, was a rec-room that, again, when there were no visitors, his kids usually played in or his wife hosted book clubs in and he and his friends drank in, out of the way of everyone else.

It was efficient, comfortable, cozy...and surprisingly adept as a dungeon. 

The sturdy door he had put in had been to keep the heating inside the rest of the house was also, he had discovered, extremely difficult to break down. The thin, sealed, glazed windows he had sealed and glazed shut himself to keep out rain water and ensure privacy were very, very effective in keeping him from escaping or signaling for help. And the in-law suite put down here made it particularly simple to just leave him down here and forget about him for days at a time without any real risk of death or injury.

Honestly? If Ford had been trying to make a more efficient dungeon to keep someone in? He’d have probably done a worse job at it.

Ah. And, judging by the sound of footsteps above, his captor had returned again from being Tsumugi Shirogane. Likely needed more ‘back of the book’ therapy lessons for Kaito Momota, or one of his other patients that the shape-shifter had had to take on to keep up the illusion of being Dr. Ford. The Feinien sighed, resigning himself to being tied up again soon. The shapeshifter didn’t like spending time in the basement, for some reason. Didn’t seem to like the lack of sunlight, was Ford’s best guess.

Ah well. Here we go again.

Izais opened up the cozy house, picking up the key from where the siren--going by the name Togami right now, it seemed--had remembered it. Leading the small group, she looked around in muted interest, not feeling Togami anywhere nearby. Just time to wait, then. 

And without being told, she settled down in a chair in the living room, just smiling fondly at her escort as Aurelia curtseyed. “Please excuse me, my lady, your highness, miss. While we have been told to be here, in the inter...uh...for your safety, I’m going to check things out. Please don’t go into any rooms I haven’t cleared.” Grabbing a handaxe from the swish of her skirt, the escort left to case the house.

There was a pause before Izais looked at Kokichi curiously. “...you seem to be in a great deal of pain, your highness. Healing is not my specialty, but may I take a look at your neck?”

Maki watched the... bodyguard? Leave, before quietly going to a corner of the room, resting there. She knew when it came down to it, this was mostly going to be Kokichi talking. She was here for protection, and, frankly...just paranoia’s sake. She didn’t trust these people, and the more they did, the less she trusted them. They just...appeared out of nowhere and solved all their problems for nothing but the goodness of their hearts?

Yeah. Sure. Maki was going to keep an eye on things. And she watched the woman’s hands carefully as she approached her prince.

Kokichi didn’t exactly trust this...duchess? But years of being examined by all sorts of people had left him numb to even saying no, so he gave the woman a slight smile, trying to save his voice. 

Gently taking the boy’s face in her scarred hands, Izais traced the bruised lines with a feather-light touch, frowning. “...you really should be wearing a neck brace, your grace. When you return to the castle, I would recommend you ask for one. ...ice would help…”

She hummed, standing up before calling out, “Aurelia? Have you secured the kitchen?”

There was a muffled, “Yes, my lady!” from deeper in the house and Izais left to go collect some ice and a kitchen towel.

Kokichi glanced over to Maki, exhausted and confused and still...hurting, so much, from what Kaito had said. 

Maki noticed Kokichi’s glance, and simply said, “So long as you don’t eat or drink anything offered? It should be fine to accept an icepack. Just try not to take any actions that could offer you up as a hostage.” she said...before her whole body tensed, the sound of the front door opening and closing.

Moving over to Kokichi’s side quickly, daggers out, Maki stared at the living room entrance as Togami called out, sounding somewhat winded, “Dutchess? I saw your carriage outside. Did Kaito give you any tro…”

As Togami walked into the living room and saw Kokichi sitting in the chair, Maki beside him, springed to attack any second, Togami just...took a second to process that...before looking around and, mentally, feeling out for the other Flora...okay. They were in the next room over and uninjured. So…

Togami crossed his arms and huffed, sitting down in the recliner nearest him. Honestly. He had thought an official order from the queen would...but you really can’t trust anyone…

Kokichi stiffened as Togami came into the house, though he knew the man was headed there. He just...didn’t understand who this stranger was. 

After a moment, Izais returned, handing Kokichi the handmade icepack with a little nod before turning to the old Flora. “These people call you Togami, so I assume that’s what name you’ve chosen for now? Prince Kaito is at a local healer, being treated not only for the ridiculous amount of spores in him, but also the numerous physical injuries. I have already informed Prince Kokichi and his cohorts that we have proper medicine for mitigating the spores, and they are amenable to giving it to Prince Kaito.”

Finding her own seat, she gave the old Flora an unamused glance. “...I chose to give you a ride, Togami, mostly because it is of little trouble to me, but also because you made a case that you truly love Prince Kaito. However, how you’ve been treating him, even taking into account his reaction to the spores, is little better than those fools who keep pets. I am not going to aid you kidnapping someone if you just want a novelty.”

Kokichi glanced at Togami with a surprised look. “...you love Kai-chan? ...who even are you? I know he can’t really say things accurately but...he said you were going to hurt him, and you were torturing Maki-chan and Shuu-chan… If you weren’t sent by Byakuya, then...who are you?”

Togami looked at Izais with increasing frustration, just...the sheer arrogance...before running a hand over his face. “Yes, yes, very good, duchess. I’m glad you have this all figured out. Truly, without your wisdom, where would we all be right now.”

“Oh! Yes! In the situation I was in a week ago, where I, like you, was insisting we do not kidnap Prince Kaito...and then over the last two months watched eight of his closest friends die for that decision. Yes! But, good! Glad I’m back to square one, because the Dutchess decided she knew better. Worked out my love for this human was a novelty? Fantastic! Our resident love expert has put her two cents in! And now I, foolish, selfish old man that I am, must now work out how the hell I’m going to protect him from our…”

Togami grit his teeth, looking away, realizing he was foolishly losing his temper. After...after all that misery...this stupid, self-important child had put him right back where he started…”

He didn’t hate Prince Kokichi. Not even a little. But his look at the smaller prince, just due to his general mood right now, was open disgust as he said, “Who am I? I’m the person Kaito ‘chose’ back when he actually could choose who he wanted to be with, rather than just who he was given to. And it’s only his brother and his reliable pet assassin-” Togami huffed, giving an annoyed look at Maki, who looked away, daggers still at the ready, “-who kept him from following through at that choice. And, now that he’s in danger? I’m...I’m keeping the promise I made to him. I’ve come back for him…”

Maki rolled her eyes at this. “If this is how you wanted to go about doing that? You should have stayed dead. This is a nuisance.”

That...didn’t clear up much for Kokichi, but one thing stood out. His eyes widened as he rasped, grief in his voice. “...Kai-chan’s friends are… But… I-if you’re being threatened by the Remnants too… I don’t understand...why would the Remnants want Kai-chan so badly to...to k-kill so many people close to him, just to make you kidnap him? When they had just wanted to kill him before…”

Kokichi closed his eyes as another wave of grief pooled over him, missing the way Izais’ expression flickered into pained confusion, placing a hand over her heart. “...this is going to destroy Kai-chan… How...how are we gonna tell him? He already blames himself for his parents but now…”

All those people that he had spoken so fondly of...the stories of the little things they did together...people that were now gone...dead… And, from how Togami spoke, due to some twisted concept of it being Kaito’s fault… Though it was the Remnants, but Kokichi knew that Kaito would blame himself. 

(He wasn’t so arrogant to think that Kaito had told him about every partner he’d ever had. So even if it was a little odd, he didn’t think much on how Kaito had never mentioned Togami once, apart from hoping he was doing well in an off-hand comment.)

Taking a shaky breath, he looked up at Togami, deeply hurt in empathetic solidarity with his husband, but still a spark of anger. “...don’t talk about Maki-chan like that...she’s not a pet. No one is a pet, or property, or anything like that.”

“...Kai-chan and I were married as collateral to ensure the lives of millions. It was neither of our choices--only our duty. ...I just lucked out, finding my best friend from it.” Kokichi took another shaky, painful breath. “...if he’s really unhappy here? Free from spores? ...I could figure out a way for him to go wherever he wants, without putting other people’s lives at risk. That’s a decision he can make. But...if he’s in danger, like you say… If you were threatened and pressured by the Remnants too, then how are you going to protect him?”

The question wasn’t accusatory. It wasn’t even really angry. It was a genuine question, wanting to really know how anyone could protect Kaito. If Kaito even wanted to be protected…

Togami raised an eyebrow at the young princes’ defense of Maki, before turning to her as saying, mostly to Maki herself, “Considering she cut my throat and threw me off a bridge? I feel like I’ll say anything I damn well please to ‘Maki-Chan’ here.”

Maki shrugged at this. She had felt terrible about all of that...when she had thought he was dead. Looking at him alive, now? She was just annoyed as she said, “I warned you and Kaito a thousand times it was a possibility, if Byakuya got word of what you were doing. Trying to leave with him was the final straw: you should have taken more care who knew, if you didn’t want me sent after you.”

“Yes. I should have taken more care who could be trusted to know before we left. I’m quite displeased with Shuuichi, for that matter, and I’ll admit, I’d be quite satisfied to tell him that someday…” Togami growled, crossing his arms over himself tighter, an old fury in that statement...before looking over at the dutchess, “It’s a lesson I am learning over and over again. One of these days it’ll sink in.”

Togami looked back at Kokichi, before glancing at the dutchess...and sighed. “Believe it or not, I hesitate to give up secrets to these...people that could put all of ours in real, actual harms way. So, before I say anything further about these Remnants and the threats against Kaito’s wellbeing, I want to know what you yourself plan to tell them, Dutchess. I won’t bother watching my wording if you plan to just betray her entirely.”

Kokichi gave Maki a shocked, puzzled look but...well. Neither she nor Shuuichi could fight against their orders, not without someone else undoing them. He...couldn’t quite understand why Togami wasn’t aiming his vitriol at Byakuya then. 

Izais rolled her eyes. “I would be more careful if she didn’t betray us first. Or if she had anything left in that head of hers other than the desire to extort people. So much of the power in the world in her hands, and what does she do? Nothing but frighten and hurt people weaker than her. I would say I’m disappointed that I won’t live to see if her successor can do anything better, but death is quite the adventure.”

“Look, they are not as naive as you’d believe, Sir Togami. They’re friends with a mage, after all. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were on the cusp of finding out anyway.”

It was Maki who looked confused at this, before working out, “Mage...do you mean the demon, Nadya?”

Togami rubbed his temples. “Yes, yes. Truly, the wisdom of Izais shall be remembered through the ages. You weren’t alive back in the days before our queen, but you must have learned your history in school. Reports of our near extinction weren’t historical exaggerations. Our queen is...difficult, yes. But she’s the reason you young idiots are all even alive, and I won’t silently sit by and watch you throw her name into the mud after all she’s done for us.”

“...demon?” Kokichi murmured, raising an eyebrow at Maki.

“Honestly, we shouldn’t exist at all,” Izais huffed. “And we are alive not because of her, but because of people like them,” she gestured to the two humans. “I do not see how I can see that and you cannot, if you were around then. The Red Moon festival is even coming up, something that has been thoroughly erased from our education and, hm, I wonder who was responsible for that?”

“All traces of people willingly helping us? Only left with a narrative that we must take everything by force, hefted up on some flawed ideal of superiority? I wonder why that would benefit someone who was really looking out for the best interests of our kind. As well as that Danganronpa has exponentially grown even in the last hundred years, with only more blood to enrich the soils.” Izais sat up, her usually soft, maternal features alighting with dark excitement. She had wanted to talk to someone about this for decades, but the queen had blocked her out ages ago. 

“So, what is the goal here? Obviously not sustainability. What, conquering the whole planet? Bringing more terror and slavery to every person on earth? I do not understand how you would support that and still claim you ‘love’ anyone.”

‘...Danganronpa?’ Maki thought, briefly considering interrupting, but honestly...this was probably even better than a straight up interrogation, the two enemies barely seeming to remember Maki and Kokichi were there as Togami glowered at the woman.

“Of course you can’t fathom it, you entitled brat. Anyone who would so casually say that our species should fall to extinction rather than fight to survive cannot even begin to comprehend the sacrifice it takes to bring a species back from said brink of extinction! If you really believe that, go join those fools in the Remnants of Despair!”

“Yes! The humans sustain us! But they sustain us through their exploitation! Through their actual, literal suffering! That is how we survive! How we flourish and grow! Before our queen came and made those hard choices, our kind was counting down the centuries we had left before we were gone entirely!”

“But! Now that all the hard work is done and we are in the millions, powerful and well taken care of? Now we have Flora like you, who thrive off the sacrifices we made, rolling their eyes and pointing their noses in the air, wondering with all the safety and comfort of hindsight, well, why didn’t you just do it like this? Honestly, the nerve...and then to just accuse me of not having any love in me!? Because I recognize the toll our survival takes!?”

Togami huffed, pinching the spot between his eyes, just… this was so fucking pointless...but he was so offended by her casual disregard for everything the Flora had had to do for her final product.

Izais snorted, looking down at the older Flora, repulsed by how much he bought into their queen’s narrative. “Is that really what you believe? The Remnants only target humans, a direct result of the entire disregard for them that our queen has done nothing but reinforce for centuries. Our species, which does nothing with our lives, who cannot reproduce on our own, oh, yes, surely we were meant to be millions in number! Surely we were meant to subjugate every other species on the planet! Makes perfect sense!”

“Humans do not need to be exploited for us to survive! Those who can conceive with other humans can carry our children just fine! Those who need their bodies altered can do so in other ways, but our queen finds it so much simpler to torture them than to even consider other possibilities! After all, why bother with the work of taking care of anyone you do not relate to when you can just subjugate them into compliance?”

“And when you can live for millennia? Why on earth do we need to reproduce at a rate on par to those who live for a century at most?! If it comes at the cost of others, we do not need this many of us! Sometimes the sacrifice is not worth what you are fighting for! Do you realize why so many Flora joined the Remnants? Because they’re bored. Because they only find purpose in torturing humans and other creatures, playing with their fragile bodies and short lives. Instead of doing anything with their own lives, they just ruin those of others!”

Kokichi’s tears had dried just from his sheer shock and confusion, everything the two...people? Were they people? Were saying sounding like something out of an absurd fantasy novel. A...really scary one…

Maki, too, was staring in stunned confusion at the two, who really seemed to only have attention for each other, before leaning down and whispering in Kokichi’s ear. “Demons. Definitely demons.”

“Yes, okay, how our species has handled...entertainment, is maybe...not ideal! But, everything you’re preaching about? Was how it used to be, back when we were going extinct! Sure, you had humans who volunteered for one or two births, but not enough of them were freaks enough like your husband to put themselves through that! And the ones who were didn’t live long enough to sustain even our species numbers to the same numbers century after century, let alone grow! We just grew smaller over time! Not to mention our feuds with the other species who were hunting humans dwindled our numbers even further! Don’t forget, wise Dutchess, we weren’t just fighting repopulation numbers! Vampires we’re constantly competing on our hunting grounds, witch’s had declared us abominations because they discovered our blood made excellent potion enhancements and needed the excuse, and religions were all declaring that their gods didn’t want anyone from their flocks becoming seedlings!”

“...Togami, you don’t believe in god.” Maki said, causing Togami to startle, remembering she was there, “We’ve had many conversations about that.”

Togami hesitated, before waving his hand and saying dismissively, “No, no, I just meant...they’re not worth worship. Fallible, selfish things they are.”

The excitement of a good debate fell to rage quickly. “Do not speak of him like that! Suzu cherished our relationship, and it is not freakish to want to have children! If that’s how you speak of the miracle of life, then it’s no wonder how Flora treat life as a game to be won! It is not just entertainment! It is basic courtesy to anyone outside of yourself! And anyone who thinks differently has to constantly fear others seeing into their most private thoughts, having their soul squashed just for someone else’s convenience. We have no concept of death and so we treat life like garbage!”

“Um...if you’re worried about reproduction… Why don’t you just ask people for artificial insemination, if that’s an issue? Plenty of people are willing to be surrogates…” Kokichi mumbled, business brain getting interested in the conversation before he shook himself, trying to raise his damaged voice. “Excuse me? This does sound like an important debate but...what does it have to do with Kai-chan? Why did his friends and lovers have to die?”

“No, no, Humans always give birth to humans. It’s seedlings who create Flora, it’s more than just taking a ready made Flora and throwing it into a willing uterus, the whole chemical makeup has too...ah…”

Togami looked away, shamed by the second question. He loved his queen. Was still friends with her for a reason. Hadn’t turned away from her as he watched the entire Flora society change right in front of his eyes...but that didn’t mean the uncomfortable truth of some of their practices and philosophies, as necessary as he truly believed they were for Flora-kind...hadn’t created the kind of casual disregard that…

“...they didn’t have to die.” Togami muttered. “I…I made a mistake. My queen-”

“Of Danganrona?” Maki asked, still pretty convinced they were demons, but...maybe so was the queen?

Togami sighed. “Yes, Maki...of Danganronpa You’ve likely worked out for yourself by now, I’m not actually from Luminary, and I was not raised an indentured. I...I apologize for the deception. I will explain myself to you later.” he promised, giving his ‘fellow’ indentured a guilty look, Maki’s face growing more somber as she now reflected on conversations between them that now felt...more patronising then relatable, knowing this new information. Bonding with someone over your mutual slavery was less...sincere when one of them could have apparently left at any time. Likely...not conditioned at all…

“I made a mistake. I...I should have moved on. Found a way to get over this….feeling of despair inside myself. I knew my queen suffered every time she came to talk to me, but I couldn’t move on, knowing Kaito had thought I abandoned him when he trusted me, loved me, most. I...just kept thinking I should go back. Should follow through on my promise, regardless of the danger such an idea put our species in. He’s not like any other human. He was watched. Countries, entire countries, would come looking for him. And, in looking for him, they would find me...find us…”

Maki raised an eyebrow. “That didn’t seem to stop you the night you tried to leave with him.”

“I asked the queen, my queen, for permission to abandon my post. To abandon my life as a Flora altogether, for as long as Kaito was alive. If I had no contact with Flora, no clear link to my heritage, then even as they tracked us down, I was not betraying my species to be with him. My queen very graciously agreed, but when I failed due to my own foolish trust...she’s been trying to talk me into for years just turning Kaito into a seedling and protecting him in the borders of Danganronpa itself. Luminary couldn’t do anything once it was done. Especially that idiot King Leon. But I refused her, every time she brought it up, and she refused to do so without my permission. I knew Kaito would be unhappy as a seedling, and there’s no future for pets...I wanted to leave him to live his life. But I couldn’t get over how bad being without him made me feel, so, finally, my queen…”

Togami looked grimly at his knees, before confessing, “I didn’t have any love for any of them. A part of me was even...jealous, of all the lovers Kaito went on to have without me. But I didn’t wish their deaths. And the Queen, once she had made me watch them kill each other, hinted that there was more then them to pick from and...I cannot stop her. But I cannot stand by and watch her trickle down his entire social history until I said yes. Being...being a pet isn’t the most miserable life and...he still loves me…”

Togami clutched his chest, feeling sick, as he whispered to himself, “...hopefully our love will be enough… enough for him to forgive me. To settle into his forced new lifestyle. For him to be happy...”

Kokichi was quiet. Horrified. 

The story of...apparently a creature called a Flora? Falling for a human, wanting to give up their life to be with them...it was sweet. But everything afterward…

There was a pure disgust and anger welling up in him, from his very core. Enough, again, that Izais shifted uncomfortably, feeling pained, but confused where that feeling had come from, and that, downstairs, Aurelia, who had been talking with the human down there, froze where she stood, stock still in terror. 

“...are you fucking kidding me?”

Somewhere, Tom suddenly started laughing. Manic and incredulous.

Kokichi looked at Togami with a cold sort of rage. “You let your feelings. Put others’ well-beings in trouble? Leading to their deaths? A-and...not even a death cult, but the Queen of Danganronpa had them killed for...what? Just so she could threaten you into putting on a smile? God, is there a single leader out there that actually cares about their people?!”

Somewhere, Gundam was looking at a sleeping Soda in concern, having failed again to convince him to take the spores...and felt a spark of fury at his queen, for not even considering this one could be different.

Kokichi let out an incredulous bark, coughing and shuddering in pain, a bit of blood falling from his mouth, but the red in his vision was too powerful to stop him. Or to even notice Izais clutching her head. 

“And you never thought to say, hey, the person I love loves all these people, for his happiness, maybe don’t kill them?! Or you never even sent a letter to Kai-chan asking if he wanted to run away? And you would have him as A PET?! YOU’RE NOT EVEN CONSIDERING RUNNING AWAY SOMEPLACE DIFFERENT WHERE YOU COULD LIVE AS EQUALS?!? YOU NEVER ASKED HIM ABOUT THIS AT ALL??? ALL HUMANS ARE DIFFERENT!! KAI-CHAN IS DIFFERENT AND MAKI-CHAN IS DIFFERENT AND SHUU-CHAN IS DIFFERENT AND YOU LET SOMEONE TAKE AWAY EIGHT FUCKING PEOPLE HE LOVED FOR NO REASON!?!?!?!?”

Somewhere, Monokuma helped a new seedling into his caravan with the others, and sighed. Reflecting on the ones he lost, just...frustrated, emotionally worn down more than he ever suspected possible from losing seedling after seedling after seedling to this plan…

Somewhere, Aba started to sob. Just...scared and angry and wishing things had been different...

Kokichi was screaming by the end of his point, blood dripping out of his mouth as tears leaked from his eyes, fully overcome by his rage and loss on his husband’s behalf, but also the pain of loving someone so fully and believing that you can’t make them happy. Of finding peace and friendship and having it ripped away for someone’s selfish whims. Of just wanting the person closest to him to be safe and healthy and happy, and finding that everyone around them, including you, just causes them nothing but pain. 

Somewhere, the queen frowned, annoyed, as a ripple of misery spread throughout her hivemind, her large, massive vision staring furiously at the source of it...

Agony. The agony of loving someone more than yourself.

Somewhere, Kaito groaned in his sleep, back tensing, now in the thralls of a terrible, terrible nightmare…

And Togami too, felt the rage and anguish and disbelief rush through him...but he was old. Very old. And as much as he wished to defend himself from the boys accusations, to defend his choices, how he had tried to get the queen to stop, to just leave things be, that he couldn’t help his sadness..he idly flicked a tear away, more his bodies reaction to the feelings invading him then anything coming from himself, and looked at Kokichi suspiciously.

“...empath.” He realized.

Maki, in turn, who felt nothing, but was concerned about Kokichi, stepped forward and put her hand to his neck real quick, checking his pulse. No signs of a heart attack. Good…

Kokichi was left with violent coughs, falling against Maki more just because she was there than trying to rely on her. Drops of blood spattered to the floor as he heaved, trying to breathe but still his emotional pain worse than the physical. Sobbing through his coughs and anger, his despair of not being enough to protect his beloved husband. 

Of...apparently, nothing being enough. 

Izais was quiet in her own second-hand grief, holding a handkerchief to her mouth as her tears fell, hurt from the pain of losing the love of her life, a pain that never really went away. But...at least it was a pain she was equipped to handle. 

Sniffling softly, she stood as well, worried about the small prince having a meltdown. Emotionally, physically, and...psychically, likely, as well. She looked to the escort, asking, “Does he need a healer? I don’t suppose you have any other psychics around to shield him…”

Maki looked warily at the dutchess, before saying softly, “Oh, yes, certainly. One...one psychic coming up...”

She had a lot to think about, and...no idea where to start.

A demon queen was after her best friend.

That was...a new one.

Staring down at Kokichi, who was writhing in his seat, overwhelmed by his frustration...she narrowed her eyes, squeezed his shoulder a little, and said, “Are you done yet, Kokichi? We’re in the middle of something.”

...she may have misjudged how much they knew. Aaaand outed a mage to her cohorts. Whoops. 

Kokichi struggled for breath, feeling sick from the taste of blood in his mouth, but...the hand on his shoulder...focus on that. Be the person you need to be right now. Even if it hurts. Even...even if it hurts so much you feel like you’re dying…

...Kai-chan needs you, ‘Kichi. You promised. 

Still having trouble breathing, he cracked an eye open, shaking, but accepting the cloth the duchess offered him, wiping the blood from his mouth as he panted. 

“...”

...there was just a slight squeak from his voice, the already damaged trachea having more than enough from his shouting. 

Maki looked him over, seeing him really, genuinely trying to pull it together...and sighed in disappointment when she realized he couldn’t. “It’s okay.” She said, squeezing his shoulder again. “Just rest. We’re going home.”

Then, turning to Togami, she said simply, “I’m making a citizens arrest on you. You’re coming back to the castle with me to the guardforce.”

Togami stared at her in shock...and then chuckled. “I most certainly am not.”

“You are.” Maki said, entirely certain, before glancing at the dutchess. “I’d arrest you too, but I have the sneaking suspicion no one would back me up on it. I’m fairly certain you’re abominations against humanity and should be disposed of, but...you haven't actually done anything, and Lake said I can’t just arrest people because I think they’ll commit a crime later.”

Izais gave Maki a small smile as she shrugged. “My dear, if you wanted to ‘get rid of’ any creature that wasn’t a human, your work would never be done, and you would be disposing of many wonderful people in the world. I am here on vacation, and while Flora don’t come to Dicea often, there isn’t a law against it.”

Trying to collect herself, Izais looked around the cozy home for a moment. “I will go collect Aurelia...and, Sir Togami? You said there was medicine here? Whatever your plan is from here, Prince Kaito does need it.”

Maki dryly said, “Oh, no. My work will never be done? Be still my beating heart. And I’ll settle for any species that openly admits that they’re only surviving at the abuse and exploitation of mine, thanks. Which I’m fairly certain is what you both wouldn’t shut up about before.” She shrugged, before glancing at Kokichi, “Besides, like I said. I doubt anyone would back me up on it, so I won’t bother. But you.” she said, turning to Togami, who looked mildly amused at her serious expression, “Drugged and took away Kaito’s autonomy, which means I legally have the right to take you in. So, yes, you’re going.”

“No, I am not.” Togami said again, before glancing upstairs, then at the dutchess. “It was lovely speaking with you, Izais, and yes, I will take care of the medicine issue. Your insight, as always, is incredibly wise and utterly invaluable, though your actions were entirely worthlessly and actively traitorous, and your whims today have likely pushed our country into a war in the future. I do hope you’ll think of me if our queen ever manages to get you on a stake.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic,” Izais sighed. “Despite my disdain for everything our queen has done on a grand scale, I have people I love in Danganronpa too. You really think I would put them all at risk like this?”

As she spoke the lines of scars twisting down her arms opened up, the air growing heavy. Then, one by one, each segment opened into a circle, almost like fleshy eyes or the remains of suction cups that had sloughed skin away. It was almost as if the room itself got darker, blurry, reality itself going out of focus…

Before everything returned to how it was, the click of the duchess’ heels sounding from down the hall as she searched for her escort. 

Kokichi shuddered slightly, hiccuping a breath, still trying to get a hold over himself despite Maki telling him to give it up. He still didn’t understand how Kaito could possibly be safe with this...ex? Of his? If he had been so directly involved with the people who wanted to hurt Kaito anyway.

They needed to discuss it more...give Kaito all the knowledge they could so he could make his own decision…

He clutched his burning chest, trying to be strong and...just failing. 

Maki tensed, feeling...something...something was wrong, something was-!

But she blinked, and...couldn’t remember why she was so upset. Sure, yes, everything that had happened, but...there had been this feeling, for a moment. Like, how she felt about Luminary, but...re-directed. A desire to protect her loved ones from something...bigger…

She couldn’t...was she imagining it? She felt sick. Weirdly...sad. Like she had forgotten something incredibly important...something that would have changed her whole direction in life, her whole world view…

...maybe she was just hormonal. 

“...anyway…”Maki murmured, trying to remember what she had been talking about, before focusing on Togami, who was staring at her curiously. “Yes, anyway, we’re collecting the medicine, and you’re coming with us. Whatever the...Remnants?” she said, glancing at Kokichi, realizing she had lost the thread of the conversation, “Whatever the Remnants want from Kaito, stealing eight of his friends, even if they were just doing it to pressure you...no, especially because they were doing it to pressure you. We cannot allow you to leave. I’m arresting you.”

“Ten, actually.” Togami said, relaxing a little. For all her species suicidal talk, at least the dutchess wasn’t actually crazy. All talk, no follow through...which, frankly, was good enough for Togami. “Two of them survived and joined the Remnants themselves. And, Maki, while I’ll admit you can be intimidating when you want to be, there’s not much you can actually do to threaten me. I’ve already survived an assassination attempt from you onc-”

“I’ll cut off Kaito’s big right toe.” Maki said. Dead eyed. 

Togami smirked….and then frowned. “...no you wouldn’t.”

“It’ll take him awhile to recover. Swordplay would be extremely difficult from now on, running even more so. He’ll be able to do both again someday, but...it’ll take awhile.” Maki said, tone entirely neutral. Not looking at Kokichi. “And he’ll be unhappy with me. I’ll feel very bad about it. It might change our relationship. He might have difficulty being around me after that.”

Togami’s eyes narrowed…

“But” Maki said, sighing slightly, “That’s only his toe. You and your people took ten of his friends, some of whom were my friends, and then tried to take him. To protect him from that? I’ll sacrifice his big toe, if only so you know next time I get my hands on you that I’ll mean it when I threaten his left thumb next.”

Togami’s mouth twitched...looking frustrated...before saying, “You’re real sick, for someone who ‘loves’ him.”

Maki smiled at this. The action without joy, but with some humor. “I think between us, we can determine that Kaito has terrible taste in friends.”

Togami nodded at this, before sighing. “Alright, yes. I’ll go. The medicine is upstairs, in the main bedroom, on the desk. Oh, and, uh...Dr. Ford is downstairs. In the basement. And has been for....I suppose a little over a week now? Another Remnant’s been impersonating him to keep tabs on Kaito. The other Remnant is...” Togami looked at his hands. “Gone now.”

They got the medicine and freed Dr. Ford, and while Duchess Izais and Aurelia left to at last settle down for their planned vacation--much to the annoyed resignation of the daughter hosting them--the rest of the group went back to the castle, regrouping with Nadya, Shuuichi, and Kaito, who was being looked over and tended to by Seiko, who had come back to the castle that morning, aiming to be at the ready if they found Kaito that day. 

Eventually, Kokichi collapsed, the toll on everything he was far too much, and other healers came to him while Seiko was busy. A balm on his throat, a neck brace, and ice packs around the brace while he rested in a cot, the same room he had left that morning, a heated blanket tucked in around him while he slept, Nell back on standby, making sure he kept breathing. 

Maki turned Togami in to the guardforce, several people listening to the allegations with whistles and raised eyebrows. Even knowing he was drugged...there were far fewer sympathizers for Kaito this time. Those who said it were smart enough not to spread it around but...they wished the strange man Maki brought in had succeeded, just so Kaito would finally leave Kokichi in peace. 

Kokichi didn’t stir until late that night, feeling sore and numb. 

It was Shuuichi who was sitting by his bed just then, Maki sitting by Kaito in another, private (and, importantly, locked from the outside) room. 

He was under the watchful eye of the healers outside the room, Maki having stressed to them that Shuuichi wasn’t allowed to leave on his own unless she had come to collect him, and, honestly, between the events of the day and the medicine in his system, he was on the verge of falling asleep in his chair...but he looked visibly relieved when Kokichi stirred.

Leaning forward, he put a hand on Kokichi’s arm, saying, “Hi...can you hear me? You’re okay, Kokichi. You’re in the medbay at the castle.”

Kokichi blinked slowly up at...ah...Shuuichi… The corners of Kokichi’s lips raised at that, though...he found he couldn’t really move his head at all… He lifted a hand to touch at his neck, finding a brace and, not really having anything to do about it, shifted to lay his hand over Shuuichi’s. “Sh...u…”

Even just that bare whisper burned his throat. So...instead, Kokichi curled his fingers around Shuuichi’s hand, squeezing it gently, trying to convey that he was happy Shuuichi was there. Slowly, things started to come back to him. Finding Kaito at the brewery, the fight with Togami...the injuries Shuuichi and Maki had sustained…

Kokichi looked back up at Shuuichi with tired worry in his gaze, pointing at his boyfriend before giving him a thumbs up, trying to ask if he was alright.

Was he alright? Physically, yes, but...he was also, just...a little confused…a conversation he had had with Maki baffling him...

“I’m okay, but, Kokichi…” Shuuichi wasn’t sure how to word this. “...don’t try to explain in detail. Just, shake or nod your head, but...do you remember why Nadya needed Kaito’s cape yesterday?”

Because Maki didn’t. 

Shuuichi had tried to talk to her about it. About the fact that Nadya was a demon. But she...just mumbled something vaguely about Nadya having a lead on where Kaito was, needing the cape to confirm something. No memory of it flying away. No memory of Nadya being a demon at all. Shuuichi couldn’t get his head around it.

Yesterday? It...wasn’t uncommon for him to miss days but… Well, he supposed he’d been in a bad state. Just from what Kaito had done to his throat originally was already enough to land him on bedrest but then...being active and shouting… He was still just...incredibly angry at Togami. But now…

He’d asked before how on earth they were supposed to tell Kaito, and he still had no idea. His heart started aching all over again at the thought…

However, for why Nadya needed Kaito’s cape…

Kokichi’s expression pinched into confusion, wondering why, out of everything, Shuuichi was asking about that… ...hadn’t it been some weird dowsing thing? He didn’t really believe in that stuff, but...it’d worked out in the end…

Kokichi attempted to shrug before the brace got in the way and he just tried to mouth what he meant. ‘Not really but it wasn’t that important? Why?’

Shuuichi frowned at that...but looked down at the journal in his hands and added Kokichi’s name to the list of symptoms he had put down for Maki. Neither of them remembered it...real, actual magic. The work of demons. 

He liked Nadya though.

Perhaps she was hiding her demonic nature from them? But then, why just those two? Why not him?

He’d...he’d ask her about this before he made any decisions or rash judgements. If her explanations weren’t good enough, he’d be certain to tell Maki and Kokichi what they had forgotten.

For now though… “...nevermind. You’re right, it’s not important...you should rest, Kokichi. A lot happened yesterday, and no ones really...okay right now. I think we all should get as much rest as possible, honestly.”

Kokichi frowned in response but...unlike with the pollen, Shuuichi would let him know when he was ready. When he had thought through whatever it was that was bothering him, and hopefully Kokichi would be able to help him out, or just be a comforting ear if that’s what he needed. 

And...really, he did sort of just want to go back to sleep. The longer he was awake, the more his neck hurt. Since he’d apparently been sleeping for a day, there was no way he was on any painkillers…

...but there was still one thing he wanted to know. 

Lifting his left hand, he pointed to his wedding ring, just...hoping that Kaito was alright… That his wounds were closing and his back was alright and he hadn’t gotten sick from spending the night out in the cold and...if the medicine was working…

...and...selfishly...if Kaito had ever loved him at all…

“Ah...Kaito. Um…” Shuuichi swallowed, messing with the bottom of his shirt. “...he...had a bit of a fit when he finally woke up yesterday...and is now refusing to talk to any of us. He does...say things. But just to himself. But! He’s taking the medicine now, and according to Togami, he should get better and better every day, and should be, um…’stable’,” he said, making hand motions around the word, “in six days.”

“Um...and, this might be a bit of ‘mixed bag’ news, but...Dr. Ford? He’s agreed to give us information based on everything that happened. And, again, mixed bag, but...if you were worried about therapy not helping him, he has, apparently, not actually had any therapy yet.”

Kokichi’s eyes lowered in grief but...that was okay. If he was taking the medicine, then...then he would get better. 

And if he decided to stay...apparently they hadn’t exhausted every avenue of help yet. 

Kokichi covered his face with a hand, wanting to groan but not wanting to put his throat through that yet. Maybe Togami really would be able to protect him better...but Kokichi wasn’t a very high bar to surpass. 

Lowering his hand, Kokichi reached out for Shuuichi again, looking sad and tired and...wanting the comfort of someone he loved nearby. With his free hand, he patted the cot. They were really only meant for one person but...it would probably be more comfortable than sleeping in a chair if Shuuichi was going to stay.

Shuuichi looked guiltily at the door, worried what the healers would think (there weren’t...very many friendly looks in the castle right now), before steeling his nerves, turning back to Kokichi and giving him a soft smile. “Yeah, okay. I’m pretty tired too, honestly…”

Being careful not to hurt him, Shuuichi sidled up next to him, letting Kokichi pick their sleeping positions, trying to accommodate for his neck. As he held him, he whispered, “I love you. Everythings going to be better soon, I promise. Like you said before, we’ll...we’ll make it better. Spring and all that?”

“This...this won’t last forever.”

Kokichi closed his eyes and traced hearts on Shuuichi’s back, trying to take comfort in his words. He knew Shuuichi was right. This wouldn’t last forever...this pain and sorrow… And even for the people who wouldn’t see the next spring...the pain from their loss would fade. Their memories would live on in the people who knew them. 

...but still Kokichi worried. If Kaito decided to leave...spring would still come, but… he had a feeling he wouldn’t see it for a long time. 

And yet, he didn’t have time for that. Tim was starting school next week. Shuuichi was pregnant. (And, god, he hoped before Kaito left he would at least assure Shuuichi that he loved him, that he wasn’t wrong to be pregnant… To take back that horrible hurt that had cut Shuuichi so deeply.) So many Diceans had been hurt by the war, and it wasn’t fair to ask them to wait for help while he focused on his own pain. 

There was always work to do… They were always doing damage control. There… He couldn’t take the time he needed. Not when he was the heir, not when there were so many people depending on him to...to…

...to not cough and cry while the well-being of his husband was at risk…

...why had he been born at all if he was only causing people problems like this…

-

Timothy was walking Chase around the castle, and wasn’t talking to anyone. He wasn’t engaging with anyone either, not even the members of the staff who tried to engage with him. Tried to coax a smile out of him or offered him things. He didn’t want to talk to any of them, and made no pre-tense of pretending like he did.

Cali had snuck by yesterday. Wet eyed and furious.

She wasn’t allowed to come over anymore. 

She had promised she still would. Called her mother foul names, said she didn’t believe Kaito had attacked the prince, and when Timothy had told her it was true, she had paused for all of a second before declaring she didn’t care and it had nothing to do with Tim anyway.

Tim had told her to just...hold off coming over for awhile anyway. That he’d see her at school. That he didn’t really wanna hang out right now anyway.

Maki was always by Kaito’s side right now. 

Sorry, sorry…’mom’ was always by ‘dads’ side right now. Or Miss Harukawa and Prince Kaito. Or...whatever they were. Whoever they were. It didn’t matter.

...Tim had been so scared….

And he was so frustrated that he had been so scared. He was a soldier and an assassin and almost ten years old! He...he should have been fine! He should be…

He was mostly just very tired.

“...come on, girl.” Tim said to his puppy, deciding to head back to his room. “Let’s go…”

-

Kaito was...still in his private medical room. And had been since he got back.

The lock on the door didn’t open, and that was okay. Kaito didn’t really wanna go anywhere anyway.

Maki and Shuuichi had been advising Kokichi to stay away. To leave Kaito be. Shuuichi barely saw him himself, though Maki came to watch him every day the first three days, and then checked every few hours for the last two days.

He had been irrational. Then vengeful. Then frightened and begging and...today, Maki went to Kokichi, saying she thought it might be okay to see him soon, if he wanted. Because, today, in the morning, Kaito had asked her to bring him his Good Book, which he had clutched to himself when she had.

Considering Kaito had been denouncing Atua on the daily, for the first few days. Had laughed loudly and mockingly at the version of himself that had ever believed in any of it. The fact that he seemed to be taking comfort in his book? Was a good sign.

Kaito was sitting in his bed, reading passages. Every now and again, he’d look up, a stressed expression on his face, thinking had...he heard something or...but, no. The voices had stopped.

Which was...for the best.

Atua was out there, but...he didn’t talk to people...Kaito had just been losing it again...that was all…

Kokichi had immediately jumped at the chance to see Kaito, though he had internally cursed himself for it. Kaito probably didn’t want to see him. Probably didn’t want anything to do with him…

...but Kokichi wanted to see his husband so badly…

He was still in the neck brace. The bruises hadn’t started to fade and his neck still ached, so, to be safe, they kept him in the brace. However, his voice had returned, soft as it was with a caution to not shout if he could help it. 

Kokichi knocked softly on the door to Kaito’s private room, calling gently through it. “Kai-chan? If you want...can I come in?”

Kaito looked up, alarmed. A voice or...no, no, voices didn’t knock and...also it was Kokichi and…

...Kaito put the book down and started wringing his hands, working his joints. Maybe...maybe he shouldn’t say anything. He wasn’t home? Maybe he shouldn’t be home…

“...y-yeah? Yeah, come..come in, ‘Kichi! Uh, if…” He was gonna say if it was locked, he was pretty sure one of the healers had the key, but...Kokichi probably knew that…

There was a moment of something mechanical shifting, and then Kokichi popped his head in, his gaze immediately softening as he looked upon Kaito… Before his gaze dropped, ashamed and downcast. 

“...Kai-chan...if you don’t want to see me, you don’t have to humor me… If I...make you uncomfortable or...anything else… I’m not gonna insist I have to be here…” That ache in his chest had only grown in the past few days and despite it sobbing to not be sent away...that was just selfish. Kaito’s recovery and well-being was more important.

Kaito rubbed the muscles on the back of his neck, his stomach...twisting in nausea at the sight of the brace. His eyes immediately dropped, and he squeezed, one after another, the small joints in his hands. 

He should send Kokichi away...he didn’t know if he was...safe to be around or...but he recognized that sound. That insecurity in his husband. Kaito couldn’t...couldn’t actually refuse him. Not and be a good husband and…

Another round of nausea. 

“No, no, I want to...I haven't seen you in almost a week, ‘Kichi. Of course I wanna see you! Come in, come….i-is anyone coming in with you?” he asked, stunned that he didn’t see anyone over Kokichi’s shoulder. Really? No one was gonna...make sure Kokichi was safe or…

Kokichi went to shake his head before he was stopped by the brace, still not used to it. Instead he slipped quietly into the room, taking one of the visitor chairs and...not putting it right by Kaito’s side, as much as he wanted to. Instead he sat by Kaito’s legs. “No...Maki-chan said it was okay for us to talk alone for a little bit if we both wanted to...though, she is gonna be by like...every twenty minutes to check in.”

Kokichi managed a small smile, clasping his hands in his lap. Quiet for a moment, not even sure what he wanted to say or where to start. “...how are you doing? Seiko mentioned that they had to put you on an IV the first day...and everything with your back…”

“My back? Oh, right, uh, I guess I chipped a bone back there...didn’t even feel it!” Kaito laughed, twisting his fingers a little...trying to bend it a little, ignoring the ache, “Isn’t that wild? Maybe Shuuichi had a point about the healing factor stuff...o-or, no, no, I mean, of course he didn’t, of course it’s...so-sorry, ha, I didn’t mean to...um…”

He was starting to bend the bone too much, the ache not as soothing as it was back when he had been deep in the pollen. To stop himself, he clutched his book again, laughing nervously to himself as he tapped at the book, saying, “Good ol’ Maki...um...she, uh, she won’t, or, I mean, not that she won’t, but she’s not thought it was a good idea to tell me what’s...happening out there? So, how are…”

Kaito looked up at Kokichi, saw nothing by the brace, and looked down again, “...how are you?”

Kokichi winced in sympathy. “No, you’re right, he was right about the healing stuff… It doesn’t exactly make up for all the other stuff the spores do but...I’m glad you weren’t in more pain.”

The nervous start and stops of his speech...Kokichi felt the guilt just fill him even more. Instead of being a protector, instead of being even a person of comfort...Kaito was nervous, scared around him. Terrified of saying something wrong. Kaito had still said he loved him while on the pollen so...was he really nothing but a source of stress?

“...she probably wanted to let you focus on your recovery...even if not knowing what’s going on is just as stressful if not more…” Kokichi took a breath. “I’m… The brace makes it look worse than it is, I promise. I just can’t keep myself from looking around, so it’s more of a precaution at this point…”

He swallowed, wanting to tell Kaito how much he loved and missed him, but...that would just be pressure, wouldn’t it? He didn’t want to manipulate Kaito into anything…

“...Waku-chan wanted me to tell you that she’s sorry for biting you.”

“Oh, she’s, she’s, great! She’s good? She, um...I may have...well, no, I mean, not ‘may’, did, I did, um, I may have yelled at her a...few times? I don’t...yeah, I yelled at her a few times, um, tried to break her neck at one point, I think, um...that fight was wild, wasn’t it? Or…” Kaito frowned, looking up at the brace again, “I guess you...missed that...um! You should have Ikuo tell you about it! H-he and, and, the others, um, the Diceans, um...they did great! It was really, really impressive! I know Maki had some real trouble!”

Kaito frowned, twisting the book in his hands, bending the spine, “Um, not that...not that that’s great, but, you know, I mean, it’s still very...cool! Very cool, that they can do all that. That, uh, that guy with the glasses, the goggles, that, ya know? He, wow! I actually feel silly how easily he got me, I, ha...I’m not very good at fighting, I guess...maybe.”

“...it was three against one, and two of them are war veterans. I’d say you did just fine, hun.” Kokichi flashed a slightly brighter, amused smile up at Kaito before grimacing at his slip. “...sorry…”

“I...I told myself I wouldn’t pressure you so...sorry...just slipped out…” Kokichi took another breath, trying to hold himself together. 

He knew Ikuo wanted to talk with Kaito when he was better. To be more active in really welcoming him to the family. (If Kaito even still wanted to be there?) Sei was still reserving his opinion. Waku mostly seemed concerned about Kaito, enough to ask Kokichi to pass on her apology, and Kirumi...her whip had been confiscated and she was asked to not take on any assignment that would take her to the third floor residential wing, for both Maki and Tim’s comfort until she could make amends. 

Kokichi hadn’t seen Haneda at all, but he’d heard that she was keeping an eye on Tim. 

Kaito glanced up, confused, entirely lost at what Kokichi was talking about. Pressure? What had pressured him? “...um...sorry, ‘Kichi, I...I’m a little lost. Pressure me to fight war veterans? Trust me, I don’t plan to, ha,” Kaito grinned, rubbing the back of his neck, looking embarrassed, “I don’t plan to fight anyone or...I don’t want too...I’m not gonna fight anyone.” He muttered. “I...I’m just not gonna do that anymore, I think.”

Again, Kokichi tried to shake his head, opting to just move his shoulders to complete the action. “...even without the spores...you’re not happy here. And I just...nothing I do helps. I just end up making you feel worse…”

He pressed his hands together, clasped tightly in his lap. “You said...you didn’t want to be around me anymore...and Togami said you’d be happier with him, that you still loved him and that he’d actually be able to protect you…”

“I don’t know how much of that I even believe but...if you’re not happy here...or with me…” Kokichi felt his eyes burn but he bit his lip, trying not to cry and manipulate Kaito more. “I don’t want to trap you in a place where you don’t feel like you belong… I just want you to be happy…even if it’s not here.”

Kaito stared at his book.

..he wished he didn’t remember how it felt being on the pollen.

He wished it was vague or weird or….the memories foriegn feeling. No wonder...Shuuichi was still struggling to not call himself names. To separate the version of himself on the pollen from who he was now. It didn’t...it didn’t feel like a different person. It was just how he had felt at the time and...

...he had been so...happy to be leaving. So genuinely overjoyed. He had daydreamed about changing his name and getting lost in the world and just never coming back and and...and looking back at that memory was still…

...the actual leaving part? The being gone part?

...it still didn’t feel bad…

But that memory was associated also with, with, with putting his hand around Kokichi’s neck and sq-squeezing, and, and every time he thought about that he started shaking and he wanted to throw up, and, and, he had h-hurt Maki and Shuuichi, Shuuichi was pregnant and Kaito had, had…

Kaito felt his eyes start to burn, vision blurring as he said, quickly, the words coming out rushed, “No, no, I mean, I’m…” he wanted to say he wasn’t trapped, but that feeling of joy at getting out still didn’t feel bad and would it soon? It should, right? He didn’t...want to leave… 

But, what did feel bad was, “...I don’t want to hurt you, ‘Kichi…” Kaito said, clutching his book, hands shaking as he stared down at them. “...I keep hurting you! How can you!? How can you want to be around me!? I don’t want to be around me!”

“...I like being around you. It makes me much happier than being around me…” Kokichi blinked back tears and brought his legs up on his chair, hugging around them even if the brace kept him from hiding his face in his knees. “...you’re my best friend… I used to sneak out to town all the time and pester travelers, but even pretending to be different people, that first day we met was the most fun I’d ever had doing that…”

“You make everything more fun, even just being there. I’m so excited to see more of the world but...I-I was even more excited to see it with you. To share experiences and talk excitedly about all there is to do, a-and talk about books or armor or plants or any of the million things that we can just...chat about forever.” 

“I love seeing how proud you are when you do something new, even if it doesn’t turn out the best, and you’re always thinking about your friends and...Kai-chan, you’re so full of love and light a-and…” Kokichi looked up at his husband, a few tears falling despite his wishes. “I-I’m so sorry but...I love you so much… Every day we’re together is a blessing and makes me want to be better. To be a better leader, to be a better friend, to be a better husband and boyfriend...to be a father. You make me want to be better, and you make me so proud and excited to see you grow too.”

“And...I realized...if being able to see you do all that, be everything that makes you you...if that stifles you? If it hurts? I would never be able to forgive myself for keeping you for myself. My feelings are not worth your well-being…”

Kaito felt really raw and exposed right now. Honestly, this might not be a conversation he was actually ready to have. But, the more Kokichi gushed about him, tears in his husbands eyes, sounded...like he genuinely wanted him around? Kaito couldn’t bring himself to look at the parts of himself that needed that extra time. That had been...hurting for a long time now, and the pollen now just...confusing all those feelings. Baffling Kaito as to what had been him and what had been the pollen and what did he even have the right to feel…

...he just had to...work it out as he went. He had to figure this out. And, and...he couldn’t hurt his loved ones while he was working on it. He couldn’t.

Just...it’s okay Kaito, you know what to do.

...just be sweet.

So Kaito laughed, tears in his eyes, giving Kokichi a sheepish look as he chuckled, holding his book to his stomach and trying desperately, desperately not to look at the brace as he grinned at him. “Hey, hey! Come on! I...I’m not stifled! I...the pollen made me...I don’t want to get away from you, Kokichi.” Kaito promised, before putting his book aside, reaching out to him-

-put his hand around his neck and squeeze-

-before bringing his hands quickly to his chest, still grinning as he wrung his fingers against each other as he said, “D-do you want to sit in the bed with me? I’ve missed you...though, though, it’s okay if you don’t! I...I’d understand you needing time or…” Kaito shrugged, sweating slightly. “I’d get it, you know? You can love me and still need time.”

Kokichi wanted so badly to accept Kaito’s words and rush into his arms. To kiss his cheeks and cry and apologize for every shitty thing that happened and promise to do everything he could to prevent shitty things from happening in the future. 

But…

Kokichi sighed, getting up from the chair and standing by Kaito’s side, extending a hand even as tears continued to fall from his eyes. “Please, Kai-chan...you don’t have to know now. This is what I meant by pressuring you. The pollen made you do some awful things...but you only came here, only married me because of duty. I can’t… I don’t want you to pretend to be happy.”

“...I don’t want to be a person that only brings you pain… I don’t want to be someone you’re afraid of or nervous around… You make me really happy...but that doesn’t matter if I make you unhappy.” Kokichi let out a stuttered breath. “If I’m not good for you… If you need time… I can go.”

“No, no, please, I...fuck…” Kaiot cursed, putting his head in his hands, before tensing up, quickly looking up and saying, “I’m not angry! I’m not angry! I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know how to..”

Kaito clenched his fists, frustrated, but only at himself. Biting his inner lip and..slowly, carefully, covering his ears, looking at Kokichi nervously for a moment before closing his eyes...but, actually, he didn’t think he actually needed to entirely disassociate for this to work, the motion of putting his hands over his ears actually good enough as he opened his eyes, taking a breath.

“...I’m having a hard time...being...around you, sometimes...everything...all the time...reminds me that I’m not...good.”

It was the next bit that he was struggling with, so he closed his eyes and said to himself, “...I come from a b-bad family...and a bad kingdom...everything reminds me all the time...I...used to be proud once.” Kaito said, his voice suddenly tight with tears. “I was proud...I thought...I tried to be better and...I thought it was enough to take care of my friends. It was so hard to just take care of them and...th-then I came h-here and…”

“...you all make it seem effortless. I don’t...if it was always this easy to take care of literally everyone, why did I struggle just to take care of just a handful...what’s wrong with me...I’m so fucking...I’m evil Kokichi. I come from evil and I am evil and people only ever gave me a pass because I’m less evil than my family and I still love them and...everything in Dicea just...reminds me of that and I don’t know if that’s the pollen or me but it’s...hard...to not be afraid or nervous around you.”

Opening his eyes, he looked desperately at his husband as he said quickly, ”That’s not your fault! It’s my own...insecurities messing with me. I love you, ‘Kichi. I do! I love being around you, and you make me feel so calm and I love taking care of you and doting on you, I love making you laugh, your laugh is everything to me...I, ha,” Kaito chuckled, shaking his head, dropping his hands from his ears as he shrugged, “I live and die on your laughter. Everything feels better when you’re around. And I’m never happier than watching you...your eyes light up because you’ve seen something new or you're enjoying yourself and relaxed or...I want to give you everything. I want you to have everything, Kokichi.”

Kaito looked at him, radiating sincerity, wishing he could hand Kokichi everything he had ever wanted. His health, a childhood, his freedom and independence, every idle wish he had ever made and every tiny comfort life could offer...he wanted to give Kokichi the world…

“...but I can’t give you anything…” Kaito mourned. “...I can’t even protect you because half the time I’m the scariest thing in your life…I’m bad for you...”

Kokichi’s face fell as...he finally got a clue to what Kaito was actually feeling. No matter what people said, what Kaito said about himself...he wasn’t dumb. Maybe if he was, things would be easier. But he was smart enough to realize...that the sky was blue, even if he had no choice but to call it pink. And going to a place where everyone could call it blue...and not even just blue. They had the freedom to express themselves, to study the sky and point out every little shade of blue and comment on the clouds and compare the deep blues of someone’s eyes to the sky. Going to a place like that, where everyone did that seemingly effortlessly...it was only naturally to feel like you were wrong. Bad. 

Kokichi couldn’t help the sudden laugh bubbling out of him, finding that horrible irony humorous. He came a little closer, tracing a few fingers on the side of Kaito’s hand, wanting to hold it. “...I told you it’s rude to say what people are thinking, shitty esper…”

He sniffed, a sad smile tilting his lips up slightly. “Kai-chan...that’s how I feel all the time. That I can’t give you anything, and even more, I took you away from so much. I can’t protect you because I’m weak and naive and I don’t understand things that you can understand just...naturally. That...I make you feel evil and horrible...that I’m bad for you…”

“...but you’re not evil. And it’s not effortless to take care of people. It’s really, really hard and what you protected your friends from?” Kokichi came a little closer, trying to convey his own sincerity. “I never would’ve been able to do that. It’s just...easier to protect people from those things here since there are systems in place, that were put in place years and years ago, that make it easier. That you could protect people without any of that...you’re really amazing, you know? You’re not evil.”

Wiping his eyes, Kokichi hiccuped softly. “...is that offer to sit on the bed with you still open?”

Kaito chuckled at the shitty esper line, rubbing his eyes as he said, “That was...a really good night...I feel like nothing bad happened that day. I don’t know though...we don’t have a lot of good days…I don’t remember what that day was like, but that was a great night...”

Kaito wanted to argue that Kokichi wasn’t weak! He wasn’t! He’d fight the fucking world on that. His husband was not weak...but he swallowed that down and just listened, every now and again his breath struggling with a fresh new wave of tears. And he had a hard time looking at him as Kokichi assured him he wasn’t evil. Kaito...Kaito felt evil. He hadn’t felt like the hero in a long, long time and...it had been so...so much a part of his identity, before coming here...he had wanted so badly to be the hero...and not the...the worthless Prince-Consort who couldn’t even...bolster the reputation of one healer because he had no real influence or resources or power, and he couldn’t protect his best friend or their child, or his lover and his baby, or his husband...just Kaito Momota...just him and nothing else, nothing to offer…

Kaito covered his eyes and swallowed more tears, unsuccessfully trying to suppress them...before laughing, dropping his hand and looking at Kokichi, grinning, just...sad and happy and overwhelmed…”Y-yeah, ‘Kichi...of course it is, babe…come here...” he offered, not outstretching his arms now, but raising his arms sort of around his chest, creating a space Kokichi could put himself if he wanted to. Just trying to be open for him.

Kokichi crawled into the space offered, cuddling against Kaito’s side, smiling softly through his tears. “It was a lot of fun… You’re really good at being fun.”

Carefully, Kokichi put his arms around Kaito and gave him a soft hug before letting go to keep supporting his neck. “...I really love you, Kai-chan. And...really, you’ve already given me more than I could ever ask for so...I want to give back. I want to help you too. So when you’re feeling scared or nervous, especially if it’s me that’s making you feel that way? I want to do everything I can for you...you shouldn’t have to suffer in silence. I want to understand you, Kai-chan. Every part.”

“...i-if you allow it…” Kokichi trailed off nervously, feeling too pushy.

“...yeah, ‘Kichi.” Kaito laughed, wishing he could hug his husband more fully, but the...the brace...so just resting his hands on his hips as he said, “We said we were gonna be better communicators than our kingdoms, right? Then...then our parents? I know that I sometimes…” Kaito sighed. “...that I sometimes struggle to say things, and, half the time  I...I’m not even sure what I’m thinking? There’s...a lot going on upstairs…”

Smiling gently down at him, Kaito said, “But I’m happiest when we work. Sometimes it feels like it takes so much effort to get to that point….sometimes it feels so painfully rare that I start becoming afraid that we’re never actually gonna be okay? But...but when we are!? We’re amazing ‘Kichi! We’re incredible together...it just…” his smile fell a little. Looking a little far away as he admitted, “...it just doesn’t feel like that all the time. But…”

Kaito sighed, rolling his eyes a little. “What relationship does? So our first two months have been more...more eventful than most! That’s okay! We can...we can still do this! We can! Life will give us a break at some point...or, maybe it won’t? But that’s okay too!” Kaito said determinedly, frustrated with his own doubt as he insisted, “We can still make it work! Kokichi and Kaito! Light of Dicea and Luminary Prince of the Stars! And Shuuichi, and Maki...it’s hard, but when it works? We’re incredible…”

Kaito clenched his fists tightly...before closing his eyes for a moment. Collecting himself, before saying, “We just have to...I need to be better at communicating when it's getting...hard. It’s not going to be easy all the time. No one should expect it to be easy...even now, there’s so much we need to talk about. The baby, the remnants...Togami...god, I can’t believe...heh…” Kaito sighed, opening his eyes again, grinning without any humor in it. “...at least I know for certain now Maki didn’t lie to me. He’s really alive...I know seeing him again was bad but...now that I’m feeling better? I can’t believe...he actually came back for…”

His gaze was far away for a moment...before sighing. Looking at Kokichi warmly. “...still. Too little too late. Way too late. We have so much to talk about Kokichi...but we have time for that later...we could just rest for awhile...come back to this with fresh heads, when we’re both...feeling better.” he said, looking with grief in his eyes at the brace. Nausea rolling painfully through his stomach as finally he said, “...I’m so sorry I hurt you…” 

Kokichi smiled back, a little of the knot in his chest starting to unfurl. “The happy moments with Kai-chan are some of the best in my life, I think. They’re just...incredible. They’re what let’s me know that working for it is worth it. When I get to see you laugh and be excited about things...everything’s worth it for those moments, to me.”

He had never really been one to shy away from work anyway.

Kokichi sighed softly as he relaxed against Kaito. There was...so much to talk about. More than just the things Kaito had mentioned, and he could feel himself wanting to ask about them. Asking if Kaito had spoken to Shuuichi yet. What he thought about the baby. If he would’ve left with Togami if the other man had asked first. 

And the later stuff. Asking if he wanted to talk about his parents. His friends. His brother. The state of Luminary and Kaede’s plan. 

But...they were always doing damage control. Maybe they could hold off a little longer to try and actually heal for once. 

Kokichi rested one of his arms on top of one of Kaito’s, carefully leaning in to nuzzle at his chest. “...thank you. Kai-chan’s healing and...that’s the best apology, in my opinion. You getting better...being sorry. And...really. The brace makes it look worse than it is.”

“I don’t care if it’s not that bad, or if it doesn’t hurt...I’m just...I don’t want to be the person that hurts you anymore. And…” Kaito sighed, rubbing his thumb in circles on his wrist as he held his hand, “...Maki said some things that makes me think she wants to believe that some things I did a...a while back could be due to the pollen, but…”

Kaito swallowed hard...before saying, “...but I don’t agree with her. My reasons were evil and shitty and...and awful but...I don’t think I made them seeking stress? I know I...I can’t know that for certain. But...it’s safer for me to believe all of that was entirely me. Because...if I decide it wasn’t, and it was, and I let my guard down?”

“...I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Never my ‘Kichi. No one should ever hurt you.”

Kokichi frowned a bit, tracing the side of Kaito’s hand. “...it does make me happy to know you don’t want to. And… I know that this is sort of a ‘later’ talk but… They said that Dr. Ford...the one you saw, at least, was an imposter. Do you...do you think you’d want to go see him for real?”

“...I just… Some of the things that hurt you, or that you don’t like...I don’t know what to do. I wish I had the answers but...I don’t. I’ll do everything I can to find people who at least have some of the answers but...I need to work with you for that.” Kokichi looked up at Kaito, wanting to believe the best of his husband but...knowing that he wasn’t perfect. He was flawed. He was human. “...we can really talk about it later but...promises need action behind them, otherwise they’re just words.”

...Kaito gently pulled his hand from Kokichi, keeping his arm around him, but needing it back to start messing with his joints again, bending the fingers a little, worrying the skin with his fingernails...before saying weakly, “Maki’s been...like I...like I said, she hasn’t...she thought it was best I...I haven't really gotten any news since I’ve been in this room…”

“...Dr. Ford was an imposter?”

Kokichi paused, but… If he’d already let it slip, then trying to keep it from Kaito was just worse. Telling him everything...wasn’t advisable. One he was healed and mostly spore-free, in a space where he could grieve without putting any other part of him in more danger, then they could talk about everything.

“...yeah. I don’t really know all the details myself since I was...kind of out of it by the time he got into the picture, and I’ve been out and about but...not really involved with everything going on,” Kokichi took a breath, closing his eyes to try and refocus. “But. Yeah. The actual Dr. Ford’s been locked in his basement--the person you were seeing apparently had little to no idea what they were doing.”

“...I’m sorry… I should’ve noticed something was wrong...I just...let you be manipulated by another person…”

Kaito just stared at his legs for awhile, just...prosessing that...before taking his left arm and covering his eyes, “Oh...oh...I’m so stupid...there’s no...there’s no grading system...that’s not a thing...”

...oh god dammit did letting someone listen to you masturbate count as cheating? God he was so fucking stupid…

Kokichi looked at Kaito in confusion for a moment before his words made sense and...him and his goddamned big mouth… There was a reason Maki hadn’t told him everything that was happening. 

Adjusting himself to hug Kaito without putting any strain on his neck, Kokichi sighed. “I’m sorry...and you’re not stupid. That person was putting everything they had into trying to fool you, it sounded like.”

He was quiet for a few more moments before thinking of something to say. “...you should focus on recovery, but...it’s always helped me to have something to look forward to.” Kokichi smiled a bit, looking up at Kaito. “Shuu-chan’s been sleeping in our room. When you’re good to leave medical...you’re gonna get the biggest cuddling time ever.”

Kaito felt a moment of concern, about to ask if Shuuichi was okay being alone with sleeping people in their room...before letting the question go. Maki would have never allowed it without some sort of plan already put in place and if she thought it was safe, or had done something to make it safe? He’d trust her.

So, doing his best to not think about how fucking stupid he was (...was he...was he never in danger of being sent away? It had felt so possible...he had been certain it was going to happen…), he gave Kokichi a weak grin, before taking a risk and leaning over, kissing him gently against his head. “That sounds great, Kokichi. I’m not certain when I’m gonna be allowed out of the room? Maki gets real vague with that too. I think I’m waiting on Seiko’s approval or something, but I don’t really know...and I don’t need to know. I don’t know why she thinks it's better I don’t know when I’m leaving, but I’m just...trusting she knows what’s going on, ya know?”

“And...I know we need to talk about Shuuichi. I know that. That’s maybe the biggest thing going on right now...but I’m kinda waiting to talk to him first. I wasn’t...I wasn’t very nice to him, ‘Kichi...I just...I just want to talk to him before me and you make any decisions about anything. Or, maybe we should all talk together? I don’t want to scare him either...I just want to make certain he knows I’m here for him. I don’t want him to think I resent him or anything...anything like that.”

“But after I get out and we talk and we’re all good? I can’t wait to hold you both…I miss you both so much.”

Kokichi smiled widely at the kiss to his head, a little more of that knot relaxing. Kaito loved him and...it didn’t sound like he was planning on leaving. He still wanted to kiss him. Hold him. Work with him. 

And work with Maki and Shuuichi too. 

Kokichi’s smile tempered and he tried to nod before getting stuck again--a perfect example of why he needed the brace in the first place--just sighing softly before speaking. “I think that would be good. We’ve...we’ve already had to release a statement but...we still have room to decide things. And...I’ve already talked to Shuu-chan about it, a bit. But...yeah, you two talk, then we can all talk about it. Communication.”

It was so relieving to hear Kaito talking like himself again. Reacting like Kokichi thought he was going to to Shuuichi’s pregnancy. And for how relieving it was for him, he couldn’t even imagine what it was going to feel like for Shuuichi. 

Leaning up, Kokichi carefully placed a kiss to Kaito’s cheek. “We’ve missed you too. I’ve missed you. If you thought I was clingy in bed before, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

Kaito looked at the brace around Kokichi’s neck and smiled weakly at the kiss.

“Good...looking forward to it, ‘Kichi.”

-

Six days came and went...and then the seventh day. 

And then an eighth.

And on the eighth morning, Seiko and Maki sat on opposite sides of her medical desk, Maki crossing her arms and sounding annoyed, the two having a conversation they had been having every day for the past three days now, since Seiko had first suggested he might be stable enough to lift the restrictions on.

“He’s not ready.” Maki said. Twitching in annoyance. “And I need you to tell them he’s not ready.”

Seiko gave the woman a tired look. With the medicine they’d gotten from Togami, her work had gone leaps and bounds forward. However, she had found that the medicine was only made to suppress the effects of the spores, not get rid of them so...she was still working on that. And ‘working on that’ meant the schedule she’d had before, working full nights in her lab, but also regularly coming to the castle to check on Kaito (and check in on Shuuichi). 

While she would never clear a patient just to get out of work...Kaito was ready, and if Seiko could get just another hour a day back…

“Maki...he has not exhibited any symptoms in days, and his spore count is reliably decreasing. Getting into something more of a routine is important for his recovery too, especially since he hasn’t just been dealing with the spores.” 

Putting a finger to her temple, gently massaging the area, Seiko sighed. “When is he going to be ready, then, in your opinion? What signs are we looking for?”

Maki pouted, gripping her arms a little, glancing to the right as she thought about it. “...when he’s more emotionally stable. That’s when he’ll be ready to leave. I checked on his temperament again today, and it was still...unusual. He’s not…” Maki ground her teeth a little, looking frustrated, “...he’s not ready to come out yet and be a person.”

“This morning, I played a game of chess with him. To keep him occupied, but also, to see how he reacted to stress. Get a read on him, right? So, he was winning the chess game, seemed happy, normal reactions…” Maki sighed, tapping her arm a little, “Then, to test him, I started cheating. Like, obviously cheating. Kaito gets confused during games like that, when you change up the rules on him? His first instinct is that he’s doing something wrong and, when he’s clearly not, then he gets angry. So, I wanted him to get angry, knowing this was the type of thing that would set him off once he realized it was me doing it and not him misunderstanding the rules. Just to see how he handles his anger?”

Maki ground her teeth some more. “...and, instead of getting angry, he started to cry, Seiko. Over a game of chess. And, considering everything that’s waiting for him out here? News I haven't given him to not freak him out? Stares...he’s not ready. Tell them he needs a few more days.”

That did sound like emotional instability, but… “...being stuck in the medical ward isn’t going to help with that. He was brought in to treat his lacerations and the chipped vertebrae in his back, along with making sure he got the antifungal medication and so he wouldn’t hurt anyone during all of that.”

“He’s as healed as he’s going to get aside from just waiting, he’s taking the medicine willingly, and he hasn’t tried to hurt anyone in over a week.” Seiko sighed. “...he’s been through a traumatic experience--several, actually. Even aside from the emotional disorientation from the spores, he was manipulated by someone he trusted to help him. Honestly...I wouldn’t be surprised if he got upset because he figured that you choosing to cheat was his fault somehow as well.”

“...I agree with your decision to not tell him everything yet, but...it’s going to freak him out no matter what. It is not the sort of news you can take stoically. If he starts showing suicidal tendencies, then we can talk about keeping him on suicide watch but… The best thing to help him stabilize emotionally is to start giving him some freedoms. Letting him go back to his and Kokichi’s room, giving him the space to socialize or be alone as he needs within reason.”

“In short,” Seiko rubbed her temple a bit more, “help him normalize by letting him be normal.”

Maki chewed the side of her lip, glancing at Seiko...before looking at the far wall. Frustrated because what she was saying made sense, but…

“...Shuuichi’s made leaps and bounds in the last week, did you notice that?” Maki said, tapping her finger against her skin in irritation. “Spending time alone with Kokichi every night, working in the office during the day. He’s smiling more now, he seems calmer, I haven't heard him call himself anything derogatory in five days. I count them...he’s excited for Kaito to come out soon, but when Kaito does, they’re going to have to talk about all the things that was stressing Shuuichi out before. The baby, the way Kaito reacted to the news…”

“Kokichi’s getting stable too. He’s going down to the dining hall again. I see him talking to the staff, laughing with them. He looks...healthier now. The bruises are fading…”

Maki chewed her lip. She chewed it so hard it was starting to sting.

“...Tim goes to school tomorrow...I’ve been working with him every day to get him ready. We went and bought school clothes, backpacks, the supplies he’ll need. Yesterday, I heard him say he was actually excited to go, in his own…’Timothy’ way…”

Tap, tap, tap, against her skin… “...everyone’s calm for once...when we let him out, it’s...all the drama and damage from last week? It’s coming out with him. All fresh and needing taken care of and damaging and...don’t look at me like that.” Maki growled, narrowing her eyes at the doctor, “For him and for us...it’s better if he just...stays there for awhile. While everyone recovers from what he did…” 

Seiko listened to Maki, her gaze softening slightly. She had noticed that...well, everyone was getting better. For Shuuichi especially, she was hoping that the worst was behind him. She wasn’t expecting him to never have bad days, and especially as his pregnancy progressed, that was something new to wrestle with but…

Ah. 

Quiet for a moment, Seiko sighed. “...you don’t have to forgive him, Maki. Even for people you love, they can hurt you in ways that they can’t make up for. He was drugged, but that doesn’t change the fact that everything still did happen.”

“...so, you have to decide. If you want to take the time to heal, then I will make an executive decision for Kaito’s health. Just because you’re not talking about it doesn’t mean that nothing happened, and keeping Kaito locked away as a sort of punishment because you don’t want to face it yet will only hurt him. You don’t have to face it, Maki, but you’d have to let someone else do it instead. You can’t be his keeper while refusing to care for him.”

Maki’s eyes widened in shock, clenching her fists as he said, “I’m not...I’m not refusing to care for him, I, I spend time with him every single day, I talk to him, I play games with him, I make certain he’s getting treated well by the healers and is eating every day and taking his medicine and…”

She paused, clenching her fists, something...guilty flashing across her face as she said, “...sometimes stress him out on purpose and make him cry...just to...see how he’s handling it lately…”

Tugging at her hair, looking back at the memory of the last week, she said, “...Shuuichi did the same thing and I didn’t punish him...I know they couldn’t help themselves…I’m not...”

...hasn’t she?

Shuuichi had basically been on lock down for the last month. Maki had watched him go from angry and spiteful, to sad and resentful, eventually to broken down and complacent. She had done that to help him. Everyone agreed with her that it was necessary. That it had needed to happen.

The fact that it had made him miserable was an...unfortunate side effect.

But Kaito wouldn’t have those same restrictions. He wasn’t a danger of, at least as far as they could tell, running off in a desperate bid to find more pollen. Didn’t have the same cravings as Shuuichi did. The same dependency on that ‘burning feeling’ Shuuichi talked about. Kaito didn’t even seem to know what he meant by that.

Once Kaito was out of the room? He was just...out. His life would go back to normal. Like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t…

“...I’m not...trying to hurt him...I’m not keeping him locked up for no reason...I have legitimate concerns and…” Maki bit the inside of her lip, tasting the slightest hint of copper...looked at Seiko...before forcibly relaxing her shoulders. “...fine. You’re the expert. If...if Kaito seems stable enough to let out, then fine. I’m not...keeping him prisoner or...I’m fine. I don’t need time. It’s everyone else who needs time.” She muttered. A look of exhaustion settling on her face. 

Seiko gave Maki a sympathetic look. Care was a double-edged sword, and while she had a feeling Maki knew that...sometimes it was hard to recognize consequences in practice. “...You do have legitimate concerns, and it’s clear how much you look out for your friends’ well-beings, Maki. I don’t think I know a single person who has taken on as much as you have for the sake of the people you love.”

“...and that’s generally because it’s too much.” People only had so much inside them. And with Maki’s sort of commitment, being everything for the people around her...it was a small wonder Maki didn’t look more exhausted. “...I’m not telling you to take a break or to take on less. I’m not even really giving you advice. This is just a reminder--you’re human, Maki. You were hurt. If you need time, take it. If you need help, there are people who will freely offer it. You don’t have to be everything for everyone.”

“...I’ll let Kaito and the other healers know that he can go back to his room if he wants. If he starts feeling off, then to let someone know. However, everything that happened...it’s your business. You can decide the right time to tell him, b-but I’ll caution you that...there may not ever be a right time. It’s going to hurt no matter what. And...you don’t have to be there for it. Take care of yourself, Maki.”

-

By noon, Kaito looked up when the small sounds of the lock alerted him someone was coming in, and instead of Maki or Seiko or someone with a plate of food, it was one of the healers, asking him to come out so they could talk.

In the main med ward, the healer explained to him that Dr. Kimura had given him the green light to be let out of the med ward, but the healer was to sit down with him and explain the schedule he had to keep with his medicine, that he had to keep up a decent eating and sleep schedule for it, as well as extra precautions he needed to take for his back. He was told that for the indeterminate future he would be taking blood tests once a week to keep track of his spore count, and they were going to check on his back once a week at the same time, till he was fully healed on that. At the end of this week, they’d start taking out some of his older stitches, and he, like Shuuichi did, now had to keep a daily journal to keep track of new or old symptoms.

If he felt weird? Off in any way? Tell someone or come to the med wing immediately. 

And, after that conversation, he was just...free to go.

It was in the middle of the day, so Kaito had no idea where everyone else was (he could make some guesses, but he didn’t actually know), but his first idea was to head back up to their room, take a shower, pick out some clothes. Maki had been bringing him a change of clothes every day, and of course he had access to a bathroom and shower in the med-wing, but...it’d be nice to kinda just do that on his own now, without just wearing whatever she picked out or taking quick, efficient showers in a plain stall with none of his products.

Normal. He just wanted to feel a little normal. So he went upstairs and…

...no one said anything. In fact, there weren’t even that many stares.

People weren’t looking at him. 

At best, glancing at him before determinedly going back to their tasks. Something hard lining their faces. Or, well, it could just be in Kaito’s head. He wasn’t exactly looking at anyone else either. He could be projecting. He’d give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they hurried when they walked past him because they were in a hurry. That was a thing. He didn’t have to...read into it or…

He was sure it was fine. It’d get better. People would get over it. They always do, given enough time. Mother used to say you never had to apologize. You just had to wait. 

Or, well, if you didn’t feel like waiting, you could just replace them.  She had never specifically said anything like that. That was just more something she did.

...he wished he had gotten to know her more. It was only that last year before he was sent away that she had felt any real desire to sit with him, to talk. Give life advice. Between her two children, he was the only sort of...taking after her footsteps. She had spent that last year trying to prepare him, in her own way. Beyond running to her when he was very small? They had never been closer, then the year before he left.

...she had been kind to him. Again...in her own way. He had gotten to see a glimpse of a real person, underneath the titles and the riches and the anger and offense constantly radiating off her. He...wished he had gotten more time with that version underneath it all. To really know her.

...no one here would have liked her either. They would have made fun of her attitude. Scoffed at her demands. Rolled their eyes at her accusations. Diceans would have hated his mother…

And she wouldn’t have cared at all. Not even a little bit.

He prayed to his mother for strength and ignored the ‘not looks’ and went up to his room.

Kokichi had gotten back in the habit of work, thanking Nadya again for her help and patience with all this. She had taken it with a good attitude like everything else and...for his first employee that was a stranger? She was a godsend. Kokichi couldn’t imagine most people would’ve stuck around after everything that had happened. 

It was only midday, so they still had a few hours of work before Nadya’s shift ended, but Kokichi had popped out for a moment, feeling a little chilled and wanting to grab some thicker socks. 

It really was almost mid-autumn, huh… Somehow it felt like years and like just yesterday it was still summer… Soon...it’d be Kaito’s birthday… He didn’t want to rush Kaito’s recovery but...he did hope he’d be allowed out of the medical wing at least for a little bit. Celebrating your birthday on your sickbed was always such a bummer, and Kokichi was still kinda hoping that they could visit the observatory like they’d planned and…

...it was a bit silly to hope everything would be the same, huh…

Kokichi sighed to himself, digging around in their closet for a nice pair of wool socks. Time. Don’t rush things.

Kaito would have knocked, any other occasion. It was only his hurry to get out of the hallways and his near certainty that Kokichi and Shuuichi would be basically anywhere else by this time of day that caused him to just walk in, closing the door behind himself with a small, relieved sigh.

Looking around, he felt another intense sense of relief hit him, but this time it was just because...it was nice to be back in his room. It felt like ages since he had been in here...well, he guessed it had been. Over two weeks, actually…

...no, well, okay...except for that one afternoon…

Kaito’s eyes flashed guiltily over to the spot where he had held Kokichi, one arm cradling him to his hip, the others hand squeezing around his…

It’s fine. It’s fine. It smelled like lavender in here. That was nice. Take a shower.

Throwing off his shirt, Kaito didn’t pay the slightly open closet door any attention, just assuming in a way where he was barely thinking about it that Kokichi had left the door open before he left the room for the day. Heading into the bathroom, he kicked off his shoes as well, just feeling himself relax little by little. Fine. It’s fine. Everything was fine.

Kokichi looked up when he heard the door open, half expecting it to be a housekeeper, so he’d greet them and get out of their way… But his eyes widened when he saw who it was and…

“Kai-chan?”

Kokichi wanted to scramble up, run over to his husband and hug him, talk a mile a minute about, he’s good?! Out of the med wing!? That’s wonderful! He missed him so much and…

...don’t overwhelm him. 

With a smile that struggled to remain calm when all he wanted was to beam in excitement, Kokichi stepped out of the closet. “You got discharged today?”

“Holy shi-!” 

Kaito practically jumped out of his skin, Kokichi (his damn fucking light footsteps) appearing out of apparently nowhere, Kaito putting his hands up to his chest and gasping as he said loudly, “‘Kichi! Don’t do that! Holy shit, you scared the crap out of me...fuck babe, I’m putting a bell on you or something, damn…”

As Kaito caught his breath, he looked over at his small husband, who he had seen twice during his stay at the med wing...and grinned warmly down at his husband as he said, “‘Kichi! Hey, beautiful!”

And, like he had started training himself to do with Kokichi down in the med wing, Kaito opened his arms in a way that invited him in rather than reaching out towards him, waiting and grinning down at him.

Kokichi had been worried for a second, but when it was clear that Kaito was just startled, he snickered quietly into a hand. He hadn’t even been hiding or anything, but if Kaito had assumed--rather correctly--that no one would be in their room at this time of day, it’d be pretty shocking for someone to suddenly pop out of the closet. 

All the mirth and calmness left him, though, when Kaito opened his arms. Beaming, Kokichi only just managed not to bowl into Kaito, thinking of his back, even if Kaito said it hadn’t been hurting him. Kokichi wrapped his arms around Kaito’s waist, hugging him and letting out little bubbles of a delighted laugh. 

“You’re back! All good to go? Like...I’m assuming they still wanna see you for appointments and shit but...you’re out? You’re back?”

“Yep! Got the green-light from Seiko this morning. They want me to keep coming in once and week, and I gotta keep track of my symptoms day to day, if anything weird changes I gotta go potentially check myself back in...but other, I guess I’m good for the time being. I’m back.” Kaito said, gently hugging Kokichi back, running his hands up and down his back...before gently pushing him away from himself, hands on his shoulders as he looked Kokichi up and down, “Okay, let me see you…”

The brace was gone, which...was kind of a relief. His skin looked good, a healthy flush in his cheeks. And there were...still notable fingermarks on his neck..

...well, of course there were. Kaito had just seen him the day before yesterday, and they had been there then too. They weren’t going to disappear in a day. They still just...made him nauseous when he saw them, though, and he swallowed a little in reflex to that before forcing the discomfort from his expression, leaning down and kissing Kokichi softly on the cheek before saying, “How are you feeling, beautiful?”

Kokichi pressed into the kiss before pressing one of his own to Kaito’s cheek. “Better now that you’re here,” he grinned. “But I’m good. I actually just came over here to get a warmer pair of socks--I’m back to work and all that. School’s just about started so there have been a lot of requests having to do with that--it’s been nice having some easier work to focus on.”

He really had been okay. Always worried about Kaito...and doing everything he could for Shuuichi, whether just getting him a drink or trying to ease his aches...and worried about Maki...and worried about Tim...and sometimes getting that hopeless, far away feeling where he just sat and stared into nothing for a while...but he was okay. His loved ones were safe and getting healthy and...that’s all he could ever want. 

“I’ve been having dinner in the hall most days, but would you wanna have a little party tonight? Our friends all eating in our room or something?” Realizing himself, Kokichi laughed sheepishly and rubbed Kaito’s bound wrist. “Ah, sorry...you probably, like, just got out, huh. And...were gonna shower. I’ll let you chill and everything--I’m just...happy.”

Kokichi turned his head to kiss Kaito’s cheek again. “I really missed you…”

Our friends? Who, Maki and Shuuichi? Some of Kokichi’s friends?

Kaito felt awkward wanting to clarify that, feeling...weird about even just...of course he wanted to spend time with Maki and Shuuichi. He should sit down with Tim too. Maki said he was going to school tomorrow, wasn’t he? He should talk to Ikuo, apologize to Waku, talk to the king…

...ask about the telephone thing…

...and yet, honestly? He wasn’t ready for any of that. None of it. Maybe Maki and Shuuichi...no, no, that wasn’t a maybe. He had to be ready to interact with Shuuichi, at the very least, as uncomfortable as that would be. He didn’t have the...the luxury of hiding away anymore. Had been hiding for two weeks now, both willingly and unwillingly. Of all the long list of things he had to take care of, he...he owed it to them to be ready to do these things.

But, still. He could at least put it off for the length of a shower. So he just grinned and held Kokichi and said, “Yeah, just, give me a little bit, babe. Just let me get myself clean. Are you going back to work? I can bring you guys some snacks or tea or something and come by and do letters?”

He wasn’t sure why he had offered that last bit. Guess it just felt like something to...say. Do. He didn’t know.

Kokichi nodded. “Yeah, I still have a few things to take care of today.” Things that...well, he could put them off for a day if Kaito wanted to spend some time together, and he had been about to offer it before Kaito made his own offer. 

Don’t pressure, don’t overwhelm, don’t rush. There were...some things that needed immediate attention, more or less, but for a lot of things...they were going to take it day by day. See how things went. Not trying...to take on every responsibility at once. 

So Kokichi was more than pleased with what Kaito offered. 

“That would be lovely, sweets. There’s no rush, but I’m sure Shuu-chan and Nadya-chan will be happy to see you too.” Awkward, maybe...but happy. He and Shuuichi had talked a lot, and while Shuuichi was still hurt by the things Kaito had done and said...he still loved him. They’d work it out. 

Placing a kiss on his wrist this time, Kokichi gave his husband a loving smile. “Enjoy your shower. I hope it’s wet.”

Kaito thought ‘It’s always better when it’s wet.’ and could imagine the grin he’d sport as he said it and the way he’d run a thumb around Kokichi’s jaw and wink suggestively until Kokichi either rolled his eyes or flushed red and he’s grab him and pull him into a kiss and-

...but Kaito wasn’t going to do any of that stuff.

Instead, he said, “Thanks babe.” kissing him on the cheek again before getting up and gently pulling away from his hands, heading into the shower. Calling over his shoulder as he went, “I’ll meet you in the office, ‘Kichi! Uh, tell Shuuichi I’m coming, would you? No...surprises!”

“For sure!” Kokichi chirped, going to their bed for a moment rather than heading back out immediately. He did really want those socks. But it was only a moment before he was headed back to the office, an extra hop in his step

-

Things had settled into normalcy rather...easily. Kokichi had been gone for a while, so Nadya had been working under the head secretary, doing the same work, pretty much. Though, she had to say, she preferred Kokichi’s organization style more than Secretary Fukui. Easier to find and complete work for the average person not accustomed to hopping from project to project with little to no hesitation, trying to remember where they left off. 

It was kind of amazing to watch, honestly. 

But when Kokichi returned, they were back in their quiet office and...as far as she could tell, they’d kept their promise. Kokichi, Shuuichi, and Maki hadn’t told anyone about her abilities and, a little more surprising, they hadn’t even asked about it themselves. It did leave her a little nervous but with each day passed, she relaxed more and more into their routine. 

Something that wasn’t even that broken by Kokichi stepping out for a moment, and Nadya and Shuuichi continued to work on their respective projects. 

Shuuichi had had opportunities to ask by this point. Moments, where they were alone, for small bits of time. And every time they had had a moment, Shuuichi had...argued with himself. Sat at his desk, staring at the words in front of him, not reading them, just...trying to work out what he should say, until eventually he ran out of time and couldn’t ask anymore. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but…

...it was weird, right? Asking someone about their demonhood?

It felt like a weirdly private thing, someone being...a demon and stuff. He didn’t understand why she was...like this? Oh, sure, demons could be sent out by the lesser gods into important positions to reap chaos and sow discord, according to the sacred texts, and that would explain why she had taken a job like this. Easy way to sabotage things, a job like this, on a country-wide scale...hell, even global, if you were patient enough.

...but she didn’t seem...the type?

Was he being tricked? Obviously he was being tricked, but...she didn’t seem like she was faking being kind. He was good at telling when people were lying to him, though he didn’t have the borderline mind reading efficiency Kokichi had at it. She just didn’t...seem like she was lying.

So...why was she here?

….he had put this off for a week now. As the only person who remembered she was a demon, he had to make certain she wasn’t a danger to Kokichi or his friends or the kingdom. 

And, just...there really was no good way of asking, so he just said, out of the blue as they worked, “So, which god do you work for?”

Nadya looked up from her work, blinking at Shuuichi, making sure she’d heard him right. And… With a puzzled smile, she gave him an inquisitive look. “I am aware that Luminary does not particularly tolerate other religions, but people with other beliefs are not evangelists or missionaries en masse. Have...I offended you in some way with my own beliefs?”

“I do not particularly believe that I have any role in the world, divine-ordained or otherwise, but… I am of the faith of the Earth Mother Goddess, Mila.” Nadya gave Shuuichi a nervous smile. “...does that bother you?”

She knew Prince Kaito was quite religious, and she knew that, to a point, everyone in Luminary ‘believed’ in Atua, but...Shuuichi had never spoken about his own beliefs. She didn’t know where this was coming from but...it would be disappointing if this was some odd intolerance he had.

“Mila, the lesser Earth Goddess…” Shuuichi whispered, searching his memory banks for that. He didn’t know a lot about religion, other than everything Kaito had gushed to him about, and Kaito rarely talked about the lesser Gods at all. Still… “I don’t think she’s a malicious one. She...sorry if I get this wrong, but she’s...about nature’s bounty, right? Nurishment? That...that doesn’t sound too bad.”

Not all of the lesser gods were bad. They just took care of other things Atua didn’t. And..in theory, not all of the demons who serve those gods were necessarily bad. Just doing the tasks they were sent out to do. Nadya didn’t have to be evil, just because she was a demon.

“No, it doesn’t bother me. It’s...a little surprising. I’ll admit, my relationship with religion is...distant. I...kind of thought it was possible none of it was true.” Shuuichi admitted, shrugging somewhat sheepishly. “So I’ve been trying to get my head around it...look, Nadya, I want to trust you. But, I have to ask you...why did you take away Maki and Kokichi’s memories of your magic? Or, I mean, the obvious answer is that you don’t want people to know you’re a demon,” Shuuichi admitted, seeing the logic in that, but not in… “but why not erase mine? Why is it okay for me to know but not them?”

Again, Nadya just stared at Shuuichi for a moment, completely baffled. The stuff about Maki and Kokichi was...concerning, but...demons?

“I am not a demon, nor do I consort with them,” Nadya slowly started, glancing at the door in concern. “I...am not sure what gave you that idea? I suppose it is true that people can acquire magical abilities from making a pact with a demon, but those situations are much more rare than someone learning magic otherwise…”

Giving him another confused look...maybe Shuuichi didn’t know any of this? 

“I am a mage--a person born with the potential to utilize magic. A demon is a creature born of magic that doesn’t usually spend much time in our realm, barring when they are summoned or bound to someone from our realm.” That was...greatly simplifying everything, but for the sake of conversation, it was at least a place to start. And a place to segway from. 

Growing more worried, Nadya asked, “...Mr. Ouma and Miss Harukawa do not have memories of the tracking charm I cast? If you are asking me, I will assume you have confirmed that they are not simply being discreet… That charm was the only magic I used that day, and, in full honesty, the first bit of magic I’ve used in months, and I do not even have the capabilities of performing something like a memory wipe, let alone one so specifically targeted...I do not…”

Nadya trailed off, going quiet for a moment. Her eyes narrowing before looking away, puzzled. Tampering with memory was definitely something dark magic could achieve, and especially for such a prolific user like Duchess Nohran, but...why? Why erase the memories of what Nadya had done?

She looked back to Shuuichi. “...are they missing any other memories? Acting in any sort of unusual fashion?”

Mages...what, like in fantasy books? That was even less believable than demons, but...Shuuichi had seen her perform magic. And, again, it could be trickery and lies, but...he didn’t get the sense that was what she was doing. He’d feel incredibly foolish if he was wrong and found out the hard way later, but…

...look, he didn’t have very many friends right now.

Maki was more warden then friend these days, Kaito was locked away in the med ward and also that whole relationship was kind of complicated right now, Kokichi was good to spend time with but, like Kaito, was a ‘relationship’ that was...complicated right now. His first two, uh…’friendships’ had…

...actually, no. He didn’t want Nao or Seiko to count. He just hadn’t made any friends here yet.

And, he wanted to get to know Nadya better. To make his first fucking friend since he moved here.

And, of course, she just happened to be maybe a demon, or he guessed a mage, or some other dumb stupid thing that was about to make his first attempt at making a friend here over complicated and (painful. Everyone always wants to hurt him.) difficult. 

...but he still wanted to trust her.

So he stared at her a bit, thinking of what she asked, before saying, “I don’t really know. They definitely don’t remember you performing any magic. Beyond that, it’s impossible for me to say. Too much is happening right now to count unusual behavior into the list of evidence, and I wasn’t with them for a majority of the rest of the day until Maki was finished speaking with the guards about Togami. So...potentially?”

Shuuichi did the equations in his head… “If you didn’t take away the memory, then it might be an effect of proximity? Maki and Kokichi were around, I wasn't? Something that happened at Dr. Fords house…”

Shuuichi frowned. Tapping the desk. “...I heard a rumor that the first day Dr. Ford was found, he was acting deliriously, saying things that made no sense. I heard he got over it...or…” Shuuichi mused, thinking of the psychiatrists state of mind. Priorities. “...he realized whatever he was saying was making him sound crazy and he changed his story…”

Well, that was true. Even from before she was hired, there was so much going on surrounding the Dicean heir-apparent that any amount of acting oddly had myriad other reasons to point to. Really, she was impressed and a little concerned with how Kokichi was coping with everything. Nadya knew that sometimes the best thing you could do was just try and move forward, but that didn’t stop her from keeping an extra eye on her boss from time to time. 

So...if it was just their memory being tampered with...and, as far as she and Shuuichi seemed to know, nothing else was gone besides the memory of her charm…

Nadya’s brow furrowed, listening to the other point Shuuichi brought up. “...the woman who told us about Mr. Togami’s plan, Mrs. Nohran...she’s a dark magic user. I am not particularly attuned with magic but...with dark magic especially, it sticks with a person.”

“This...is greatly just a theory but...perhaps something happened at Dr. Ford’s home, something magical that Mr. Ouma and Miss Harukawa weren’t supposed to see. It...wouldn’t be impossible that Mrs. Nohran erased their memory of anything supernatural. And, please correct me if I was misinformed, but Dr. Ford was not freed from his basement until after Mr. Ouma and Miss Harukawa left so...perhaps Mrs. Nohran didn’t know he was there?”

Nadya smoothed her bangs, idly fixing some trapped hairs from under her goggles as she thought. “I do not know why else their memories would be tampered with, but not to the extent of forgetting everything Mr. Togami did.”

“According to Maki and Kokichi, the two weren’t exactly friendly. Maki said they had barely paid attention to her or Kokichi and spent most of the time yelling at each other. Something about Remnant philosophy? They both got really vague with that part, actually…” Shuuichi remembered. 

He hadn’t been exactly worried about it at the time, just relieved Kaito had been brought back and that Maki and Kokichi were safe, but looking back at it, for what had to have been such an important conversation to listen too... “Neither Maki nor Kokichi seemed to have any concrete ideas of Togami or the woman’s beliefs by the end of it. Nothing they could explain to me anyway...it could be the memory alteration was used to ease memories of the conversation, but not enough so that Togami would be saved, which would make sense if the two were as hostile to each other as Maki reported.”

Shuuichi stared at the words in front of him, mind racing...and then his shoulder fell as he suddenly said, “...I’m thinking about this too much. All I wanted to be certain of was that you, Nadya, weren’t a danger to us. And you’re not. So...everything else?”

Shuuichi shrugged, turning the page on his ledger, “It might not matter at all. Especially if Dr. Ford knows and didn’t feel the need to ensure we got the information. It’s probably fine...a mage, huh? That’s...incredible. I didn’t know things like that actually existed.”

Nadya nodded slowly, silently agreeing with everything Shuuichi was saying, if that indeed was the path they were following. The duchess hadn’t seemed hostile or even an adversary to their own positions. Without her willingness, they likely would’ve lost Kaito entirely. And, despite its name, dark magic wasn’t necessarily a bad or “evil” thing. It was just a more intense form of magic, requiring a cost that most people could not safely make, or granting them knowledge that…

...maybe what the duchess had done was blessing, and not just for keeping Nadya’s secret. There were some things in the universe better left unknown. 

Letting go of a breath as Shuuichi dropped the scrutiny, Nadya offered him a small smile. “Perhaps. But I think I will keep an ear to the ground, so to speak, while the duchess is nearby.”

“And...ah…” Nadya glanced down, growing bashful. “...I know I am not in a position to bargain but...if they truly have forgotten, I would appreciate you not re-informing Mr. Ouma and Miss Harukawa of my abilities. I really do not mean any harm to any of you, but the knowledge of magic tends to become severely misinterpreted. And considering I do not practice it regularly, I would like to avoid getting people’s hopes up coming to me as some sort of miracle worker.”

“I play baseball, and I am a part-time administrative assistant. I simply am attuned to certain forces in the world that many people are unaware of.” She gave Shuuichi a little smile, some humor in it.

Shuuichi nodded. “Again, I…”

Shuuichi didn’t feel comfortable telling her that he was tired. That if there was more out there, then he didn’t really...wanna know about it. That he was tired of trying. Or, trying on a grand scale really. The way Maki was getting more and more stressed lately, just doing the things she usually did on the day to day anyway, he got the sense he wasn’t the only one in his little group who was tired either.

Yesterday, he had walked into Maki’s room, and found she had nailed the curtain back onto the wall, the same way she had when they were all sharing a room with Kaito and Timothy. It wasn’t as extreme as taking down the papers and blue prints and profile sheets...but there was something exhausted in the gesture. Shuuichi had thought about talking about it to her, but….

Maybe it would just be easier to not think about things like that. 

“...so long as you don’t do anything to hurt one of us directly? Your magic is more a novelty to me then anything. I’m not worried about it.” Shuuichi said with a small shrug, “I promise I won’t spread your secret...well, unless someone directly asks me about it in a particularly authoritative voice, but, I mean...that probably won’t happen.” Shuuichi shrugged again.

Nadya relaxed a little more, bowing her head to Shuuichi in gratitude. “Thank you, Mr. Saihara. Your discretion, as much as you are able, is greatly appreciated.”

It wasn’t necessarily a matter of life and death. Or even one of home, though if it got out too much, Nadya might consider leaving Usot. It was simply...she had chosen a different life. She was a mage by birth, not by trade, and having to be the one to dash hopes or to be the scapegoat for disaster...it was not a life she wanted. 

The two coworkers shared a moment of companionable silence before the door opened, Kokichi skipping in with the sun on his face. “Kai-chan’s discharged! He said he’s prolly gonna stop by with snacks ‘n stuff in a bit!”

Shuuichi lit up, smiling softly, though he felt a wave of nervousness. He had been told by Maki, like Kokichi, that Kaito could start getting visitors a couple of days ago. He had just...not known what to say or what to expect and, well...but it was good, Kaito being back.

He just was...he hoped that Kaito felt differently about things now.

“That’s great, Kokichi. I guess Maki finally let up. I know Seiko was talking about releasing him a few days ago, but Maki was worried it was too soon...I guess maybe he made some progress yesterday? That’s amazing.”

“Oh, you know what we should do? Or, well, if Kaito’s ready for something like that...we should all go out to dinner together or something. Just something nice to celebrate, ya know?” 

And, Shuuichi was thinking that maybe Kaito being seen with him and Kokichi might ease some of the rumors going around, and the things people were saying. It had been kind of weird, the...level of support Shuuichi had been getting lately. Everyone was always smiling at him. Greeting him when they saw him. Trying to start up conversation with him. 

It had been awkward at first. Shuuichi didn’t really like the attention. But, he had found there was an advantage to this apparent blanket goodwill everyone had towards him: when he brought up Kaito’s name, people’s faces changed a little. And, when he noticed that, he tried to just...bolster his reputation a little. Just make things a little easier.

So, yeah. A way to celebrate, and a way to ease things. “What do you think, Kokichi?”

Kokichi sat back down at his desk but lit up at the suggestion, getting too excited for a moment before he calmed himself down a bit. “That sounds awesome! I was actually talking to him about you, me, him, and Maki-chan hanging out this evening in our room, having dinner together again, but for a real celebration when he’s ready for it? Going out sounds like a perfect way to do that.”

Probably...not Sakura’s pub this time… She didn’t seem to hold any grudges over the Luminaries, but considering what Kaito had made Maki do… It probably wasn’t filled with the best memories for her right now. 

But! That meant that they’d get to try out a new restaurant! And that was exciting!

“I am happy to hear Mr. Momota is doing better,” Nadya commented, giving Kokichi a smile before going back to her work. She’d give him his gift when he joined them. Or, if he felt too overwhelmed, then it was better to not stack any expectations. 

Kaito wasn’t all that far behind. He felt a lot better, cleaned up, honestly, and was just feeling really...strangely upbeat now? He was out of the med-ward! And wasn’t bleeding literally on every single limb at the moment! So, automatically with those two facts, today was going incredibly well. And he just felt, he didn’t know...more hopeful overall? Like, it was easier to imagine a future right now where things weren’t terrible, just, all the time...and he had no idea if that was the medicine or the new circumstances or maybe just good ol’ fashion denial settling in, but he was ready to ride that good feeling for as long as it would take him.

Heading downstairs, he greeted the kitchen staff cheerfully and pointedly ignored the cold looks as he requested whatever they currently had, as far as pastries and snacks went. One of the chefs had sighed and said they had scones in the oven right now that would be ready in a few minutes, sire-

Kaito then laughed a tad too loudly at that, trying very hard to drown out that last part as he assured them he’d come back in a few minutes then! He had to stop by the library anyway. He’d be right back! 

Then, heading to the library, he talked to the person working the help-desk that day and asked, “Yeah, so, these are the kind of books I’m looking for, can you...good, good, that’s perfect. The older one? He’s nine. Oh, yeah, that’s perfect, thank you!”

Holding four different books and a tray of scones and tea, Kaito headed back up to the office (ignore the looks it’s fine it’s a good day ignore the looks) and kicked the door as he said, “Hey, my hands are full! Can someone let me in?”

Kokichi hopped up from his desk, just...happy. The hurt that had been done wasn’t irrelevant or ignored, and it would hurt for a long time. There would be moments of worry and panic and fear but...things could move forward. They could work on things getting better (finally…) now that there was nothing actively trying to make it worse. 

Holding the door open, Kokichi took a deep breath before grinning at Kaito. “Ooooh, that smells, awesome. Thanks, sweets!” What looked like fresh scones and small pots of jam and honey, and...a fruity tea? Seemed like it. A perfect afternoon snack. 

Nadya looked up for a moment before moving to clear space on a small tray table that they’d moved to the office for snacks. Kaito’s desk had once again become the holder for the kettle while he had been gone, but she had felt a little bad about using a work desk solely for refreshments, so most of their food was kept on the small table. After clearing it, she rummaged in her bag for a moment, waiting until Kaito had set the tray down to approach him. 

With a small nod, she presented a bag of jerky. “I am happy to see you back on your feet, Mr. Momota. I hope you will accept this gift meant to celebrate your returned health and recovery--pepper lamb jerky. Mr. Ouma was kind enough to mention that you don’t have as much of a preference for teas, so I hope this is more to your liking.”

“Oh! Nadya, thank you, that’s so nice! Fuck yeah, jerky! Man, I haven't had jerky since we got to the castle! Shuuichi! Handsome, you want some jerky?” Kaito called over to him...before frowning at the spices on the jerky, before saying quickly, “Hold on, let me read some stuff first, then I can offer you some jerky. Babe, you want any jerky? It smells amazing! Oh, Nadya, you can have some too! Just cause it’s a gift doesn’t mean you can’t partake, ya know?”

Kaito was speaking a mile a minute, as he set the jerky down on his desk, arranging the four books down in a line, looking over them as he spoke, before picking up the one titled Pregnancy Diet. As he opened up its table of contents, he looked down the list for meats, then thought better of it and looked for spices, finding the starting page and opening it up as he said, “Also, ‘Kichi, definitely hand me some of the personal letter stuff, I can get through a few, but I’m gonna be doing some reading if that’s alright? Prince-Consort stuff! Got a job to do.” Kaito said, mostly to himself as he began to read down the opening paragraph to the spice section...before blinking and looking up at Nadya, remembering, “Oh! Right!”

Getting away from his desk, Kaito went to Nadya and bowed low at the waist, his back stiff as he said, “Um...I’ve heard you’re the one who reached out to my...to my kidnappers? And that you were the one who figured out where I was hiding. Thank you. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that things could have turned out a lot worse had you not been there. I…” Kaito bit his tongue for a moment, not sure if he should say something like this. Before sighing, knowing it was true. “...I owe you my life and swear myself to you Nadya Milai. Please feel free to call on me for anything.”

Straightening up, Kaito gave her a wary grin (aware, unfortunately, that like most things between Diceans and Luminaries, she probably didn’t...have a real grasp of how serious a vow that was for someone from Luminary, Shuuichi staring in concern at Kaito now after hearing that.), before turning to Shuuichi, whose confused look became more grim at now being the focus of Kaito’s attention.

This was the moment Shuuichi wasn’t looking forward to…

“Shuuichi...could we talk somewhere private?”

“No.” Shuuichi said simply, turning back down to his ledger. 

“...Shuuichi, please don’t make me do this in here.”

“Then don’t do it at all.” Shuuichi mumbled, thumbing through his ledger.

Nadya smiled slightly, glad that Kaito was at least willing to appear thankful. Not that she thought he was being insincere, per se, but just...he was trying to offset nervousness and discomfort by being overly thankful and friendly. Despite her slightly deepened connection with Shuuichi, she knew there was still a long way to go if the others even wanted to know her better. 

But it was an action rooted in kindness, so she appreciated it. 

As did Kokichi, smiling softly as he took one of the cups of tea, drizzling a little bit of honey into it before he giggled, moving to retrieve some of the social letters for Kaito to work on. “Aye, aye! You really can just focus on reading, if you want, but I’ll hand over a few letters in case you wanna break for something different, okay?”

There was something comforting in seeing Kaito act like this again. A little overcompensating, maybe hiding things that Kokichi would honestly like aired out so they could work on it but...sometimes you just needed to ignore some stuff for a little while to feel normal again. And...he was going to trust Kaito to let him know if something was wrong. Maybe he’d prompt a discussion for it later, but, likely, privately. 

Nadya had gotten a cup of tea and a scone for herself as well and had set out to return to her desk and back to work but… She blinked in surprise, a little shocked at the display. The duchess had reached out to her just as much as Nadya had, and...she was hoping that no one would comment on how she had found Kaito but...for as much as she felt she didn’t deserve the thanks, it would be more cruel to rebuff it. 

So she gave the man a smile and a respectful nod. “I can only be thankful that my efforts were worthwhile and that you were able to return to good health, Mr. Momota. I hope that we will be able to rely on one another in the future.”

While that gesture was sweet, the next…

Kokichi sighed softly, wondering if he and Nadya should leave for a moment, but… 

“...Kai-chan,” he called softly. “It’s kind of a private thing but...you said some really hurtful stuff to Shuu-chan in public. Nadya-chan and I already pretty much know what’s going on so...I think apologizing in public would at least make Shuu-chan feel a little better…”

“...Shuu-chan?”

Shuchi frowned, not really wanting to do this next part at all. He’d greatly prefer just a discussion, honestly, and started to say so as he said, “I don’t need a public apology, Kokichi. I just don’t want to do this whole process of-”

Kaito took a breath, and not having wanted to do this, specifically, in front of Kokichi...took out one of Maki’s blades and handed it to Shuuichi. Or, really, put it on his desk, as Shuuichi just scowled as Kaito took it out.

It wasn’t one of her throwing knives. Maki had many, many weapons in her room outside of throwing knives, and the thing Kaito had picked out was closer to a machete more than anything else. He had picked it because it was small enough to travel, was heavy enough that the weight would do a lot of the work for Shuuichi, and sharp enough that his boyfriend, if he chose to, wouldn’t need to bring it down very many times to get the job done. 

And Shuuichi looked at it with open distaste as he said, “I’m not doing this Kaito. You know I’m not going to kill you.”

“I know!” Kaito said cheerfully, steadfastly ignoring the other two people in the room as he sweated slightly, nervous to be doing this at all. “I know you won’t! But, I mean...I owe it to you to offer-”

“Fuck off, Kaito! No you don’t! I didn’t do this to you, and you didn’t say shit! You know why you didn’t say anything!? Because it sucks being on this end of it and you know it!”

“Shuuichi, calm down-”

Shuuichi was practically shaking in anger, before glancing over at Kokichi and Nadya, suddenly embarrassed by this display of emotion. Stupid, fucking...crazy Luminary traditions… “Fuck. Fine, you want to do this? Let’s go do this real quick.”

Getting up, grabbing the machete as he went, Shuuichi headed to the door, grumbling - stupid fucking honor bound assholes and stupid citizen privelages and he had never had to deal with this shit before and who the fuck was Kaito to seriosuly ask him to-as he went. Saying over his shoulder, he said to Kokichi and Nadya, “Just...give us a minute! We’ll be right back!”

Kaito grinned at Kokichi and Nadya and said, “Like, literally five minutes! Everything’s fine!” Probably. “Be right back!”

...he really had just forgotten. Even trying to be better about considering Kaito’s feelings, Kokichi had forgotten what an apology looked like to his husband. Kokichi grimaced at the appearance of the knife but waved down Nadya who had stiffened, about halfway looking like she was either going to run for a guard or get rid of the knife herself. 

He thought it’d make Shuuichi feel better if Kaito said in public that he was going to stand by and stay with Shuuichi, that he was going to claim the child, even if they already had officially. To make up for acting like Shuuichi was none of his responsibility before by declaring it. 

...not to perform a submission bow. 

Kokichi sighed, giving an apologetic look to Nadya as they were left alone in the office. “It’s...sort of a Luminous apology. The knife isn’t actually going to be used--just...like, the threat of it, I guess. They really should be back soon, though I wouldn’t be surprised if they wanted to talk things out more.”

Giving the door a nervous look, Nadya slowly nodded. “...I will check on them in ten minutes.”

“That’s fair.”

There actually were two people passing the door just as Shuuichi and Kaito were coming out, a very tall man and a very small man, who both stiffened as well at seeing Shuuichi carrying a machete, a nervous, grinning Kaito following him. Neither of them commented though, as Shuuichi just walked past them, the two quickly heading to the more or less certain privacy of the princes’ bedroom. 

It took just a minute or two to get there, the office really not all that far away, even in a separate wing of the castle. Getting inside, Kaito quickly closed the door behind him as Shuuichi walked to the other side of the room, holding the stupid fucking machete, as he turned around, glaring at Kaito. “Well?” he said, crossing his arms. “Go ahead. Do it.”

Kaito flinched slightly at Shuuichi’s barely controlled fury in his tone, quickly moving down into the bow. There was a...there was a reason this was considered a serious pose in Luminary tradition. Even if you knew, even if you were (always almost) certain you were going to survive it. 

Seeing someone in a bow had a pathological effect on anyone who grew up in Luminary culture. It was...it was infuriating, to see someone in a submission bow. Someone making what was traditionally considered a last bid way of begging someone to forgive them. Or, if not a last bid attempt, then an extremely serious attempt at doing so. To the point where you knowingly risk your life, in pursuit of that apology.

And Shuuichi felt his hurt feelings and frustration and all the hurt feelings of the recent past start to bubble dangerously as Kaito, facing the floor, said, “Shuuichi Saihara, I submit myself to your judgement. I...I know I wasn’t in my right mind, but I prioritized my feelings over things I knew, logically, to be true. I knew that the child was mine, and that it’s existence is almost entirely my own responsibility, and I knew, logically, that I had every responsibility and was honor-bound to immediately swear myself to you. To swear myself to our child. I knew...I knew you were waiting for that. And, instead of following the oath I knew I was supposed to make...instead I focused on my emotions, which told me I was annoyed, that I didn’t care what was happening with you, that didn’t feel like it was my problem at all.”

“...I entirely failed to honor you, and that has nothing to do with the pollen. I should have been better, regardless of how I felt in the moment. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Kaito said.

Shuuichi’s whole body was shaking. Clutching the machete, gripping it hard. “You...you sent me away...I needed you, over and over again, this last month, and you…”

Getting down into his knees, a heat burning inside of him, Shuuichi grabbed onto Kaito’s hair and yanked his head back, pressing the edge of the blade to Kaito’s neck as he stared furiously at him. “You failed to notice when I was on the pollen myself, despite an excessive amount of evidence suggesting I needed your help. Then, when you knew? You laid the majority of my care to Maki’s feet, who is so bad at empathy, Kaito. Then, during at one of the worst moments of my heat, you and your husband fucking shared me...I wasn’t in my right mind and you shared me, Kaito. How could you do that!?”

Shuuichi swallowed hard, pressing the machete harder into Kaito’s throat, seeing a small cut open there. Kaito winced, but did nothing to defend himself and said nothing, holding the pose, having already made his apology. It was up to Shuuichi entirely now.

“...but it was o-okay, because when my body calmed down and m-my mind was mine again, I still liked you and K-kokichi, and...and you were both saying you l-loved me and that made it...that made it all okay, everything that had happened. You both weren’t going to abandon me. That made it okay…” Shuuichi’s eyes started to burn, his vision blurring as warm tears spilled down his cheeks, “Everything was okay so long as that was true...and then, when the results of that day came to light!? When there were actual consequences to it? When I needed the absolute most  to hear from you that you weren’t going to abandon me? That I wasn’t just...something fun you and your husband got to do!? And you fucking asked me how the fuck I got myself pregnant!? Are you kidding me!?”

Kaito said nothing. Just waited grimly. Feeling the blade against his throat, that warm trickle of blood running down slightly against his neck.

Shuuichi glared at him, for a second, for a real, honest second, considering it...before sighing. Taking the blade away from Kaito’s throat. 

“...th-the pollen makes everything so hard, doesn’t it? It’s like being the worst version of yourself, and the only thing that makes it even worse, is...the way you thought when you were on it? Once it’s gone...it all still makes sense to a part of you? That worst side of yourself that never really goes away...the part of you that the pollen was appealing too in the first place. It doesn’t disappear when the spores do. It just...isn’t the dominant side of you anymore. That doesn’t go away Kaito…” Shuuichi whispered, blinking hard as his eyes swam in tears...before sighing again, wiping his eyes as he dropped the machete entirely. “If you can forgive the fact that there will always be an awful, disgusting part of me that misses her? I can forgive the part of you that will always have thought it was okay to abandon me in that moment. Okay?”

Kaito swallowed hard at this, but nodded. “Okay, Shuuichi. I promise. I forgive you.”

Shuuichi laughed at this, wiping his eyes before saying, “Sure...good. I forgive you too...now can we just never do this again? This fucking ritual is hard. I really hate it.” 

“Ha. I’ll try not to do anything that warrants it again.” Kaito laughed, drawing Shuuichi into a hug, enjoying the feeling of him resting his head against his shoulder as he said, “I’m still not certain if I should do one for Kokichi? He hates this too…”

“You’re such a dick. You play such favorites between me and him.” Shichi accused, annoyed. “I tell you I don’t want you to do it, you bring me a machete. He says he doesn’t like it, where’s his machete? Asshole.”

“He’s...he’s Dicean.” Kaito said, as way of explanation, though he suspected that wasn’t good enough as Shuuichi just huffed. “...I’m sorry. I’ll be better, I promise.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m sure.” Shuuichi said disbelievingly, before pulling back from Kaito, feeling a little better after all that anyway, as much as he had hated it. “Let’s get your neck bandaged and then head back. If Kokichi asks? My hand slipped.”

“Ha! Got it.” Kaito said, kissing Shuuichi for a moment before heading to the bathroom.

One quick bandage later, and the two were walking back into the office, no machete this time. “Hey! Miss anything?” Kaito asked, heading to his desk as Shuuichi went back to his.

Kokichi and Nadya had taken a small break, enjoying tea and scones quietly while keeping an eye on the clock. They talked about light things--the rookie on the Andelusians that was looking like a better pitcher by the day, so Nadya would get to be moved to the bottom of relief pitchers, it was looking like, hopefully so she could better save her arm; some of the requests Kokichi had been handling for the Harvest festival, which was looking to be a celebration for the ages, since it was going to be the first holiday since the war had ended. 

However, when Kaito and Shuuichi returned, Kokichi nearly shot up from his seat, looking over his lovers in worry for a moment, frowning at the bandage on Kaito’s neck. It didn’t look like anything serious but…

He couldn’t help but remember Kaito’s firm grip around his hand, forcing the knife far too close. Closer than Kokichi wanted any blade to be to Kaito, at least one that was pointed at him. Had...he done something similar to Shuuichi? And...just this time, the knife had slipped…

Kokichi tried to steady himself, taking a shaky breath as he glanced between his loves again before giving Kaito a small smile. “Not really. Again, you don’t have to jump into them, but I put some letters on your desk.”

Going to sit again, Kokichi tried to catch Shuuichi’s eye, wanting to ask if he was alright but not wanting to embarrass him. 

Shuuichi did notice Kokichi looking earnestly at him, and in response, just shrugged and slightly rolled his eyes. Kaito. What could ya do? The guy was royalty in a kingdom that was already pretty hyped and excited by the ideas of ‘honor’ and ‘loyalty’ and ‘bloodshed’.  And no one, at least in expectations for adherence to rituals and oaths, took those concepts more seriously then the noble class. It was just...concepts and ideas that came part of the whole ‘Kaito’ package. Shuuichi wasn’t surprised by any of it. It was just very, very annoying, especially from the mindset of a former indentured, who kind of were taught their own versions of those same ideas, which didn’t really line up well with the versions citizens were taught.

You weren’t even allowed to do a submission bow to an indentured in Luminary. It was literally illegal, the forfeiting of your own life legally null and void. Before, Kaito would only do that to him or Maki mainly as jokes or a way to pressure them into something they didn’t want to do without threatening them or commanding them, anyone seeing him do it to two indenturedes going to cause all sorts of difficult conversations for both Kaito and his friends. Now?

Now it was just...real and uncomfortable and infuriating. Shuuichi didn’t want Kaito to promise to not fight back if Shuuichi tried to kill him. Cause...what if Shuuichi was tempted to try?

He felt a shudder run through him at that idea, and to distract himself asked Kaito, “So, what’s with the books?”

“Um...two ‘pregnancy’ books, one general and one specifically for diet questions, one book about what to expect after you give birth, and one for ‘Your Foster Kid and You’,” Kaito informed him, reading through the pregnancy diet book again before saying, “The diet book is more vague than I’d prefer...you probably want to skip spicy foods for awhile though, is the gist I’m getting…”

Shuuichi just rolled his eyes at that and felt a weird rebellious impulse to go nab hotsauce from the kitchen immediately.

Kokichi sighed softly, finishing up the letter he had been working on. At least with whatever happened, Shuuichi didn’t seem particularly shaken up about it. It was probably different, growing up all around that sort of stuff. Not...as shocking for someone you love to act borderline suicidal, trying to make you an accessory to murder. Almost...guilt tripping into forgiveness, though Kokichi knew that Kaito had never meant it that way. 

The best apology was changed behavior. And even on spores, Kaito had strived for that. That night would probably be a dark place in Kokichi’s mind, submission bow and all, but...they were both trying to be better. 

Once he had signed and sealed the letter, Kokichi looked up, listening to the short conversation his loves were having, laughing softly, but kindly. “Mostly as I understand it, it’s just being overly careful about foodborne illnesses. Like not eating raw meats--oh, and being aware of, like, caffeine and stuff like that.”

The foster family book, though… Kokichi smiled a bit, still speaking softly to not disturb Nadya. “Hey, when we do dinner tonight, if you’re up for it, you wanna invite Tim too?”

Kaito squirmed uncomfortably at the idea, not because he had been thinking specifically of excluding Tim, but because it was probably pretty shitty that the kid wasn’t assumed to come to events like that in the first place. What did Tim even do all day by himself? Was he always hanging out with that Cali girl, or was he by himself? Was he still avoiding Haneda like the plague? Kaito hadn’t heard anything about that in awhile…

“We can, of course, but...I think I gotta start trying to make time for him outside of just, ya know, when I’m covering training. I don’t know. I can’t just leave all the responsibility at Maki’s feet. She’s not…” Kaito glanced over at Shuuichi, who was writing down some notes now, unbothered by Kaito’s look, “...always equipped to handle taking care of people? Like, the practical stuff she has down! She’s amazing at keeping plans together and keeping everyone on point. But, with the softer stuff…”

Even if Shuuichi hadn’t just been about ready to cut open Kaito’s throat for making Maki his primary caregiver this whole time, Kaito himself had gotten front row tickets to being constantly under Maki’s thumb the last week. She was extremely, extremely good at making sure Kaito got everything he needed and was recovering and being treated well by everyone else...and also very, very good at intimidating him and knocking down every argument he had made on his own behalf and just making Kaito feel like there wasn’t anything he could do. Maki loved him. She loved Shuuichi and Timothy too. These facts were undeniable, at this point in their lives.

But man, was she a hard person to have as your primary source of comfort.

Timothy was going to grow up a mess if Maki was his primary emotional support growing up, and the last week had really hammered that into Kaito, so…! Time to step up! Be dad! Or, whatever Tim needed him to be! Which starts with… “He’s going to school tomorrow, right? I know a lot happened lately, but Kokichi, did you and Maki ever get a chance to meet his teacher?”

Kokichi’s smile got a little softer, feeling a rush of affection go through him. He had thanked Haneda over and over for keeping him safe during the fight, and he was glad that Tim was able to recover well, but… From everything he’d heard, the kid had just been by himself. Or...with Chase, and Haneda usually following behind if he wasn’t in his room, but…

It might be rough, but he hoped Tim would enjoy spending more time with Kaito now. 

Kokichi nodded to the question, though...his smile dimmed a little. “Well… I did, briefly. Maki-chan hasn’t really left the castle since the whole thing.” And when he left it was with a high collared shirt and a light scarf just...not wanting to give people the wrong idea. 

(Which was sort of the right idea, but...it hadn’t been Kaito’s fault. And the rumors, while most acknowledged the inclusion of behavior-altering drugs...tended to be even more unkind to Kaito than the last batch. If people had seen the neck brace or the bruises… He wanted to save his husband’s reputation as much as he could.)

“Ikuo and I stopped by the school to update his records, and we did see his teacher then. Name’s Ascher Cendril, he’s been working at the school for the past five years, seems like a calm, pleasant sort of guy?” Kokichi twirled a piece of his hair, ducking bashfully. “We didn’t have much time to stick around and chat, though.”

“Ascher Cendril, Ascher Cendril, Ascher Cendril...Shuuichi, could you-”

“Already did. Maki asked me a few days ago.” Shuuichi provided, closing his eyes and reciting from memory, “Ascher Cendril: 43 years old, not married, no children, parents deceased. No criminal record to speak of, and all records on his life are up to date and to code, suggesting a fairly standard upraising. His colleagues know him to be friendly but not very talkative when it comes to himself. Honestly? His record was so squeaky clean that back home I’d have assumed forgeries, but…” Shuuichi shrugged. “Here? Probably just a very boring, vanilla guy who grew up to be a teacher. Not a threat to Tim, though no blackmail material to really work with to ensure that.”

Kaito tapped his page lightly with his fingertips, reading about its praise of fruits and vegetables (super gotta make certain Shuuichi eats, just, a shit ton of fruit from now on. No more of this constant candy bullshit), before saying, “That’s alright, we won’t need it. We’ll just keep an eye on things and see how it goes for now. Have you had a chance to look in on his classmates?”

“No, afraid not. I’ve got all their names but have really only had time to look into a handful of them. Of course we have Cali, and her home situation we already know about. Then there’s nineteen more children beside her, eleven boys, eight girls. Out of the ones I looked into, only three stand out as something to keep an eye on. A boy named Korith’s father is currently off somewhere ‘raising a garden’” Shuuichi said, putting quotation marks around the wording, this being what he and Maki had started calling Dicea’s isolation program for their more violent criminals, “and according to his records he’s been struggling in school because of it. Kind of kid who might lash out on someone growing up in a literal castle. A girl named Kimiko, who I’m putting on the list just because her mother is the diplomat of Danganronpa and that’s automatically sketch to me. And a boy named Harrison Carrison Jr. who I am almost one hundred percent positive is a child to two Luminary Refugees. So, a family that would have ‘mixed feelings’ on a kid being raised by a Luminary Assassin and its prince, at best.”

Kaito nodded, “Got it, got it...we’ll keep an eye on it… Thanks, Shuuichi.”

Kokichi propped up his chin on his hands, watching and listening curiously to the sort of information his friends judged crucial for this sort of thing. It was interesting. He figured that if this were happening in Luminary, there’d be quite a few more measures, but just...knowing all the possible avenues for conflicts? He wouldn’t want to discourage Tim from making friends with anyone, and the qualifications for being a teacher, especially for primary schools, were rigorous, but...it was good to be prepared. Not being caught off guard if something did happen. 

Though, one name did stand out among all the others. Kokichi blinked in slight surprise, humming in interest. “Miss Shirogane’s daughter is Tim’s age? I knew she had a kid on the younger side, but that’s kind of a neat coincidence.”

Giving Shuuichi a slight smile, he half-shrugged. “I’m not saying this to make her less sketchy or anything, but Miss Shirogane’s alright. She obviously has Danganronpa’s interests at heart, but that’s kind of what ambassadors are for. You wouldn’t expect it if you were just having a casual conversation with her, but she can get really fired up in debates--we’re trading maple syrup to Danganronpa at a little of a loss because of her negotiations, but we get a slightly better deal on hewn stone because of it, so we agreed.”

Kokichi looked away, a little embarrassed at getting carried away with that sort of boring stuff again before smiling back at Kaito. “You’re walking Tim to school tomorrow, right?”

Kaito grinned warmly to hear about what Kaito sort of considered Kokichi’s…’Future King’ stuff, his face warming slightly at it. Shuuichi, though, just frowned, a grim look on his face as he said quietly, “Yeah...bet they’re just...swimming in hewn stone...hewn stone of evil…”

“What was that, Shuuichi?” Kaito asked, looking over at Shuuichi’s desk in confusion, starting to open up one of the social letters before he started looking through his next book. “Something about hewn stone?”

“Nothing. Nevermind.” Shuuichi shrugged...before looking more frustrated as he said, “Just that anything that comes out of Danganronpa is probably evil. It’s a bad kingdom. Dicea’s getting a bunch of...drug stones or something. Probably.”

“Shuuichi...are you having a stroke?” Kaito asked, laughing a little, “Just because Danganronpa had the despair pollen growing in it doesn’t mean the kingdom as a whole is evil. Are you kidding around or being serious?”

Shuuichi looked warily at Kaito...before shrugging. “Joking.” Mostly.

Kokichi glanced over to his boys in a bit of concern. Kaito’s whole...ideas of evil, and Shuuichi’s anger at the spores. 

“Other than imports and exports...travel visas...Touko Fukawa’s books, I don’t actually know all that much about Danganronpa,” Kokichi quietly mused. “I guess that’s why I just believed you when we met, Kai-chan.”

“They’ve always been fair with trade, as far as our records show, and they’ve never tried to invade or pressure our borders… We used to issue way more travel visas, like, hundreds of years ago, but, honestly, I don’t even know what to make of that.” Kokichi shrugged, looking up at Shuuichi. “They’re weird, but...other than having remnants in their country, which I think the whole continent can say, they’ve never been malicious in intent.”

He frowned a little, remembering Shuuichi’s frantic theory. “...the poppies in the forest might just be too dangerous to dispose of. Maybe they’re kept a secret to keep people from sneaking in to gather spores as a poison. It is kind of odd...but without more information, suspecting the worst of neighbors who have never been hostile would put strain on international relations at best.”

Shuuichi shrugged, just...having a feeling in his gut there was more to it than that...but, he had already told Nadya that he was tired of looking into things, and he meant it. He was small and insignificant and knew it, and there was comfort in that. He didn’t want to...it was frightening and dangerous, to learn more about the world. And Shuuichi was struggling enough just to manage his own day to day.

So, despite his misgivings about and suspicions of the kingdom next door, he just said simply, “Well, that’s why you’re in charge of dealing with them and I’m not. And I’m sure Shirogane is fine, really. She’s been in this kingdom for as long as the war. By this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s gone native.”

“Nadya? Where are you from?” Kaito asked, trying to change the subject, noting the hint of frustration in Shuuichi’s voice. His boyfriend might have developed...a complex by now. It was probably better to leave his fears of Danganronpa alone until they were alone, where no one could judge him. “You have a bit of an accent, even for a Dicean. Or, maybe it’s not so much an accent, but just a very...matter of fact way of speaking, I guess?”

Nadya looked up from her work, a little surprised to be addressed at this point. “The village I grew up in has a very strong focus on scholarly pursuits--so much so that it has permeated the everyday speech of its inhabitants, I suppose.” She gave a little smile to the group. 

“I hail from Falcon’s Hollow, a village in a valley within the northwestern mountains of Dicea--relatively close to the Luminary border, though it is quite secluded, so we did not witness any battles even moderately close by.”

“Oh! Huh…” Kokichi piped up, intrigued, having recognized the location. “Yeah, Falcon’s Hollow is, like, super out of the way. We had to commission special maps for the merchant’s guild to give out to any traveling merchants since they’d always just miss the Hollow completely.”

He gave Nadya a grin. “That’s super cool! I’m sure it just feels like home to you, but to an outsider, it always feels like it has an air of mystique, you know?”

“You are not the first to mention as such, so I believe it, yes,” the assistant laughed.

Shuuichi wondered if they were all mages there, or if that was just a Nadya thing. He still had a hard time thinking she wasn’t, well...a demon. But, again, if she was, well...she wasn’t apparently going to use her abilities on any of them, so...like she said. She was a baseball player and a desk jockey and, like, sometimes a demon. 

Whatever. Another difficult idea that Shuuichi didn’t really want to learn more about right now if he could help it.

Kaito, though, grinned wide and latched onto the idea, as he said, “So, a scholar town hiding in a valley? That’s amazing! Though, it’s strange to me that you’re so isolated and yet still scholars. How do you all manage your university? Is it the sort of place everyone in Dicea’s angling to get into, or more of a local thing?”

Blushing slightly, Kaito said, “Sorry, those are probably dumb questions. Scholar towns in Luminary were always these big, like...how to describe it...they were always surrounding important universities, you know? Like, the schools attracted certain types of people to live there, which created certain atmospheres, and the capital was very much like that too, back at home. Almost everyone I knew had gone too or was going to some big university or another, was competing with each other for top spots or bidding to get into certain programs...it was a big deal where me and Shuuichi are from, right Shuuichi?”

Shuuichi nodded at this, though with some melancholy to it. He had watched Kaede’s journey into a top university with keen interest, and had helped her study for her entrance exams...but, well...it wasn’t something he could try himself, at the time. His education track had ended at high school. He had to focus on his career after that.

Kaito laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was lucky. Military programs are a lot easier to get into than a lot of the other programs being offered. I would have been a mess trying for anything else. Did you study anything, Nadya?”

Nadya shook her head kindly. “They are not questions without merit, as scant as those even are. How else would you learn without questioning?”

“It is more of a local thing, as you said, though to say we have a university is not quite correct. All of the basic schooling is done in the montessori fashion, and once a student discovers what they are most fascinated by, then they take on an apprenticeship under a master. This happens in more scholarly fields, as well as for trades and practical work and the arts. Before I left home, my mother had recently taken on an apprentice for her trade as well.”

“And as for my own studies…” Nadya returned Kaito’s joking, sheepish look. “I could never quite find something that enraptured me as it did my peers. I went through rudimentary schooling and did ‘odd jobs’ for a time while my peers were applying for apprenticeships--which is where I learned how to write and file paperwork, but I did not find a specific area of study.”

“Or...you could say that my subject was not something I could learn in my village. It is rather difficult to travel in one area, after all.”

“Travel! Really, that’s your area of study!? That’s awesome! Me and Kokichi actually have a lot of interest in travel, right babe?” Kaito said, grinning wide over at his husband. 

Was he overcompensating in his enthusiasm?

...maybe. 

But! Enthusiasm was practice, Kaito had learned over the years. Most things were practice. To be the kind of person you wanted to be, you had to practice at it. A little bit every day, if you could. If it didn’t make you happy? Maybe you didn’t actually want to be that person. And Kaito had decided a long, long time ago, that he didn’t want to be a leader, or a scholar, or even necessarily a fighter, as strange as that was to say these days.

He wanted to be a hero, and heroes were enthusiastic! 

Or, at least the kind of hero he had always admired as a kid.

So! 

If he didn’t want to be the villain? If being the villain had literally stressed him out so much that he had actually fucking run from the castle on the pollen in his ‘acceptance’ of being the villain? Then he had to start practicing being the hero again! 

It was literally the only way.

So, over-enthusiastically, he said to Nadya, “Okay, you have to tell us about your travels! Your favorite places, least favorite places! It’ll help me and ‘Kichi pick where we want to go in the future, so it’s incredibly important you’re as honest as possible with us! Consider it a royal mission!”

Kokichi nodded along with Kaito’s enthusiasm, looking a little shy now. “I’ve always loved reading about what other places in the world are like, and getting to go to the coast was a dream come true. Though…”

...pretty much everyone had heard how it had gone. Even the returned fighters. 

Kokichi glanced down before making himself look back up, smiling carefully at Nadya. “I’m not sure how many opportunities we’ll get to travel in the near future, but I’d still love to hear any stories you’d like to share.”

Nadya noticed how soft Kokichi’s voice had gotten. It would be pretty hard not to. And while rumors about the heir apparent hadn’t spread so far in Falcon’s Hollow, she still knew that, until the trip he had just mentioned, he’d never left the capital city in his life. Something that many of the people in the Hollow wouldn’t see what the fuss would be about that, but having left, Nadya could understand it a bit more. 

All that to say, though, was she didn’t want to discourage him from travel because of one awful experience, especially when he seemed enamored with it. 

So, laughing softly, she gave the princes a kind smile. “It is not so grand as you may think, Mr. Momota. I have really only traveled within Dicea, so your travels, in terms of distance, have already gotten mine beat. But, if you would like to hear my stories regardless, I would not mind obliging.”

“...perhaps not while we are scheduled to handle country matters, however.” She gave a glance to the clock, giving the men an apologetic smile after. “I am afraid I would prattle on indefinitely if given the time to.”

“Boom! Perfect reason to invite Nadya to dinner! Oh! And Hajime! You think it’s tacky celebrating his promotion, just...weeks later? And I bet Lake and Maki have gotten real close by now! They’re been working together regularly for weeks! We should invite Lake too-”

“Kaito…” Shuuichi said, glancing at his boyfriend worryingly, recognizing he was trying to bite off more than he could chew.

“Oh! And Cali! That’ll give someone Tim his age to talk too...and, if we do this tomorrow night, that could give him enough time to ask her. Okay...Nadya, Hajime, Cali…’Kichi, babe, you like Waku, right? Should we invite her to dinner?” Kaito asked, before saying, “Oh, and...shoot, what’s their name...Denji! And Ikuo of course…”

Kokichi gave Kaito a soft smile, proud of what he was trying to do, but… “Sweets, that sounds more like a party. Which I am one hundred percent down for, but might need more planning. Why don’t we take tonight to just have a small family thing, and then take the time to plan a bigger dinner with everyone?”

...it would be nice having a big dinner with everyone. Like what dinner downstairs was but...with everyone he personally loved, instead of worrying about tensions constantly. Just his Luminaries and the friends that they had made. 

Giving Kaito a grateful smile, Nadya bowed her head. “I would be honored if you would invite me to partake in dinner with you all at some point, Mr. Momota. I suppose that you could count me as a ‘yes’ for when this happens. More than a day’s notice would be appreciated if possible, so I can schedule around my practice.”

“Boom! One yes! What’s the word for that, there’s an official word for someone who says yes to a future event planned...Shuuichi? Help me out, man, I can’t remember.”

“...reservation?” Shuuichi said, also looking mildly confused. 

“No, that’s not what I’m thinking of...damn, that’s gonna drive me crazy. But, okay! One yes for future dinner party thing! Perfect! Tonight it’s just family then. Shuuichi, Maki, Tim, Beautiful! Perfect! Are we going somewhere new to eat, or getting more crumbs in our bed?” Kaito asked with a laugh.

Kokichi colored a bit, not really...having thought of anywhere else Kaito would want to go. “Oh, um… I was thinking our room, but we could really go anywhere. It might be a little too chilly to eat out in the garden, though, at least comfortably.”

Kokichi looked around the office, suddenly feeling the pressure to...host? He helped plan the festivals, of course, but...they were a city thing. Not a personal thing. And he’d never had a party or even a small gathering that he put on before.

Tapping his fingers on his desk, Kokichi tried to think of places that might be nice to have dinner in. “Uh… there are a lot of parlors that people won’t be using at dinner, so we could use one of those, or Maki-chan’s room, if we asked her, o-or we could go out, if everyone was up for it?” He looked between Kaito and Shuuichi, trying to gauge their reactions to anything he was saying.

“Come on, it’s a beautiful day, probably! I haven't actually looked outside yet. Is it a beautiful day?” Kaito asked, glancing to the frosted glass before shrugging, “Well, it’s probably a beautiful day. Oh! I haven't spent any money in, like, almost a month! That means I have some coin now, right? The monthly payment thing? I could treat us all to a nice restaurant.”

“No.” Shuuichi said, not looking up from his ledger. “And don’t argue. Maki will agree with me and you know it.”

Kaito grinned at Shuuichi, unbothered, as he said, “Why not? Come on, handsome, candles, weird, overly stuffy music, way too expensive food in incredibly small portions...it’ll be fun!”

“You know why not. The same reason we didn’t back home, especially right now.” Shuuichi said, glancing at Kaito with a tired look. “The kind of people who go to nice restaurants don’t like us right now. Or, well...don’t like you, anyway.”

Kaito pouted, the expression not entirely sincere. “Ouch, Shuuichi.”

The ex-detective shrugged. “Better I tell you now rather than some asshole toasting at a bar later.”

This wince was a...little more sincere, Kaito gritting his teeth a little as he said, “Ouch, Shuuichi.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll bring you a machete later to apologize.” Shuuichi grumbled.

Kokichi winced right along with Kaito, and it stung enough for him to get out of his seat, going over to Shuuichi and Kaito at their own desks. Looking between them with a placating smile, he suggested, “Why don’t we find Maki-chan and Tim when we’re done with work, and we can all decide on somewhere we’d like to eat? Could be in the castle, could be at a restaurant, we could pick up food from the dining hall and eat in town, or pick up food in town and eat back here. We have a lot of options, so let’s see how everyone’s feeling. What do you think?”

Shuuichi was annoyed from the bow, and probably still a little from the thing the bow was for, even if he had forgiven Kaito. Maki was...well, she cared, but she had also been incredibly hurt by Kaito. In a way Kokichi could recognize was abhorrent, but he’d never know the true depth of that pain, and Maki was valid in feeling it. And Tim… He hadn’t had the chance to really talk to him, but seeing that fight...probably wasn’t something a kid would just be fine with. 

So! Just...find something easy. Casual. Try to mend what had been hurt and broken, but don’t force everyone to be okay. 

Things would be okay, but...not right now. 

“I love that idea. Or, really, any of those ideas. Seriously, honestly. All of that would be fine. It’ll be nice!” Kaito said, pushing past the almost fight he and Shuuichi were having. “Anyone know where Maki is, by the way?”

“Still shadowing.” Shuuichi said, “She took the last week off, but I think she’s still only got a few sessions left. I get the sense she’s not learning anything terribly new lately. Or, maybe she’s just been too distracted to get much out of the shadowing sessions lately.”

“Well, I’m sure she’s doing her best.” Kaito sighed, going back to reading the diet advice.

“She always is.” Shuuichi muttered.

-

...she wasn’t...she wasn’t...trying to hurt any of them.

Maki was trying her best.

She wasn’t…

..it was so stupid. She had spent the whole afternoon with Lake walking around town, while Lake made idle chit-chat with citizens and helped random people with random, pointless things, just...staring at people. Just watching them.

Whenever she did that, she was performing mental lessons she had learned as a kid. Little thought experiments. 

How would you take out the lady at the shop, Maki? The criteria was no one could know it was a hit, not even in a ‘wink and smile’ kind of way. No one could even suspect. How would you do it, sunshine?

And sunshine would sit with her mentor and think and think and think of a plan, beautiful, wide red eyes that had only grown harder and harder with age, and she would finally tell him her best plan in the ten minutes he had given her.

The clerk has an accident, Mr. Nidai. She’s old enough. Stores are busy. Boxes filled with heavy supplies kept in the back. She runs the store by herself. She’s too old for that, really. People will view it as a tragic...but in the same breath will blame her entirely for it. Why didn’t she hire younger help? Why didn’t she pack the boxes in a safer way? Why didn’t she call for help louder while dying of a broken back under the pile?

And Mr. Nidai would smile and pat her on the head and say, Okay. Decent enough plan. How will you ensure you get away with it?

That answer was always easy, if it was local. She’d ask Shuuichi to talk to whoever was assigned to the case. Imply the woman wasn’t worth really looking into. Use whatever material he had on the investigator, if he had too. Shuuichi would help her.

Good, sunshine. Use your resources.

Now, how will you get the clerk to let you near the backroom?

Easy again. People wanted to believe the best in others. Especially in beautiful young woman. Beautiful young woman in sweet clothes with long hair that reminds them of the sweet, beautiful young woman they grew up with, or were once themselves...the clerk had no reason to know what Maki looked like. Who she was. She’d go and ask to use her bathroom, and she’d come out crying, something she had thought about while in there overwhelming her, and the clerk, the older woman, taking pity on the beautiful young woman in the sweet clothes with the long hair, would close the store for a moment and go in the back to sit down and find out what was wrong…

...good, sunshine.

Let’s try a practical demonstration, okay? 

…

……

………

She hadn’t meant to hurt her friends.

Was she still an assassin?

Did she still have to look at people like that?

She looked at people now, while Lake did her useless, feel-good act with the citizens, making them feel ‘safe’ and ‘looked after’. Looked at all the outfits they had chosen for themselves. The hairstyles. The way they held themselves.

...why did these assholes get to pick how they looked?

What made them so much more privileged than Maki?

...why was Maki still wearing a hairstyle her mentor picked out for her twelve years ago, that she had hated then and hated now?

….was she still an assassin?

….

…

Furious, at the end of her watch with Lake, Maki went around the castle and demanded to know where the prissy stylist was. The one with the big mouth. No, she didn’t remember their name. Why should she remember their name? How many stylists were there in the castle? Stop...you don’t need to protect them, Maki just wanted to talk to them, so tell her where they were-

Denji let Maki into their room, clearing one of the chairs of a few assorted yards of fabric they had recently bought and hadn’t stored yet. Instead of a desk, like most of the residential rooms, there was instead a sturdy, long table, a heavy sewing machine placed on one side and a case filled with pins and bobbins and thread spools right next to it. There was clearly a project in progress, a leather glove turned inside out and carefully being stitched back together. 

There were makeup cases and nail polish pots lining the shelves, a few wig heads with neat wigs in various colors and lengths of hair, a few waves and kinks indicating that they were meant for practice. And on either side of the floor-length mirror, there were carefully clipped pictures, some printed, others hand-drawn, all of various outfits and fashion editorials.

Really, the room was more of a studio than a bedroom. 

Sitting down across from Maki, Denji crossed one leg over the other in a smooth motion, raising an eyebrow at the young woman. “So? What did you need me for, so badly as to rampage through the castle for it?”

Maki scowled, crossing her arms over her chest as she said, “I wasn’t rampaging. People were just overreacting to a simple question. And I don’t like asking twice.” she said, narrowing her eyes at the stylist. “On that note: how much to pay for your services, however that word is defined for you. How much for a cut?”

“….the kind with hair, not the other kind.” Maki clarified.

Denji had been prepared for some banter, as they were for any conversation, but at Maki’s request, they sat up with a tentatively excited expression. “...really? How much are you thinking?”

Because they had eyes and more than a single brain cell, of course they had noticed that Maki was pretty. Sharp, deep, blood red eyes accented with a beauty mark, a face both youthful and mature, far different from Kokichi’s, fierce strength attempting to hide under frills… A lot of everything trying to hide under frills, actually. Maki managed to make the cutesy look work, but...she had so much potential to make so many other things work too! When they finally got around to letting Kokichi’s little entourage know that they had the option of utilizing Denji’s skill for the Harvest festival, they’d been fantasizing about Maki letting them pick out some clothes that would suit her a little more...maybe a nice updo to match…

But if the bodyguard wanted it chopped off?

Giving Maki an appraising look, Denji sat back with an almost smug, but still excited look. “Normally I would charge, but you are castle staff, so how about we say the first one’s free? For you, anyway; I’d mark it down for this month’s work. Without any appearances this month, it’s been slow.”

“I can imagine.” Maki said dryly, looking around the room with some distaste. None of what she was seeing...looked right. And Denji themself was...not exactly the look she was going for either. Neither was Kokichi’s fashion style, nor the kings, and frankly, she was having second thoughts that this was a good idea every second she sat in here. 

It was all so...much like what Mr. Nidai had wanted for her in the first place.

Bright, obnoxious colors. Cutesy styles. Everything radiating a sense of lightness. 

Maybe this was a mistake…

...but she didn’t actually know what she wanted either. 

“...by the time I was in a position in life where I could pick my own clothes and haircut, my own…” Maki sighed, looking annoyed with the word. “‘Style’, it had stopped occurring to me that I could. And, it’s occurred to me today that…”

She frowned, glaring at the stylist. She wanted to explain herself. She felt weirdly defensive about all of this. But...she couldn’t say to this stranger that her issue was that...she didn’t like herself all that much right now. But also didn’t want to be anyone else.

She just wanted to be...honest with herself. To look like how she viewed herself in her own mind. To not feel like she was trying, and failing, to look like someone else all the time. 

Someone nicer and more pure than she ever had a chance to be.

So… “I want to look like a professional killer.” she said, squaring her shoulders, daring Denji to laugh at her...before clarifying, “Or, I want to look like what people think professional killers look like. I want…”

And here, she floundered, trying to think of specific examples, but...she didn’t know the names of these kind of things...didn’t know how to explain herself.

So she just said quietly, “I just want to look how I am. Do you have any idea how to help me with that? And if not, don’t waste my time. I’ll figure it out on my own.” She said, looking away, embarrassed by this whole thing.

Denji did laugh, but not because they were making fun of Maki. Because that vibe was so utterly perfect, and honestly along the lines of how they wanted to style Maki themself that it felt almost...redundant. Or clandestine. So, with a guffaw, they reached over to the long table to grab a sketchpad, standing to move their chair off to the side of Maki’s rather than across from her. “Oh, honey, that’s what I’m hired for. Sure, sure, I can make a damn good mask for you too, and putting on a costume can be fun every now and again, but looking like yourself? That’s what I got into fashion for.”

With broad strokes, Denji started sketching out the basic shape of Maki’s face several times, leaving her features vague, but there as more of a distance guideline. “Alright, so you’re going to highlight your ‘dangerous’ vibe--that still doesn’t narrow it down too much, but that just means we have to try things out until they click. But to start, do you have an idea of the sort of length you want? Less for the look, but more for practicality--how much you want to wash every day, if you want it to be easy to style, if you want various options of styling available to you, if you’re going to need to invest in a razor…”

Denji shrugged a bit. “I can do everything from a little trim to shearing it all off, Maki. I’ll warn you that even a little can feel lighter in a jarring way, but sometimes that can be really freeing. It’s up to you.”

Maki tensed up at the laughter, just sort of feeling...exposed and embarrassed and a little ashamed of herself. But the stylist immediately going into ‘work’ mode helped ease the strike of shame that went through her, Maki staring down at her legs as she listened to Denji. 

Thinking about it, she said, slowly and carefully. “...I want something that’s short. Not touching my shoulders. I’ve never had my hair not touching my shoulders…” Maki said, thinking of the things that Cali girl had said, the memory of the little girls offense at the idea of not being allowed to cut her hair short more striking now then it had been at the moment it was happening. “...I want something that looks...naturally professional? I don’t want to have to mess with it too much to come across put together. And...and I want...I want people to assume I’m dangerous. I want it to be obvious. Short, professional, dangerous. Does….does that help at all?” Maki asked, uncertain. 

Denji hummed consideringly, already putting X’s by some of their quick sketches. “That helps a whole hell of a lot. Short is short, and easy to manage means anything asymmetrical is out. They can have some striking looks, but you’re always one weird sleeping position or gust of wind from just looking silly. And dangerous… I’d say you can make almost anything look dangerous, but, again, that just means not anything high-maintenance or with ties in the public conscious to harmless things…”

Putting together a few more sketches with those guidelines in mind, Denji put together a few options, some variations, others widely different so they could get a better idea of what Maki was looking for. Or so Maki could get a better idea of what she was looking for. 

From the shortest, they drew something just a bit longer than a crew cut, the hair long enough to start to take direction, but more or less completely out of the face. Then a few variations of pixie cuts, some with bangs, some without, some undercut at the back, others just tapered. Then they gave a few options of above-shoulder bobs, some front-to-back angled, some with bangs tapering into the sides, some with blunt bangs, some with just a part giving way to shorter pieces that would grow out into the rest of Maki’s hair. 

Looking back up, Denji moved their sketchbook closer to Maki. “Alright, point out any that catch your eye. I can mix styles and elements, and even once you settle on something, I’m going to draw it out on the mirror for you so you can get a better idea of how it will actually look on your face. I know my drawings are spot on, but seeing it on yourself can make a difference.”

Maki looked at the different hairstyles...and, almost shyly, pointed to the bob and one of the shorter haircuts that had long, sharp bangs in the front. “Something like these two?”

As Denji started drawing out their idea, Maki watched the image in the mirror and… “Is this stupid?” she asked. Something soft in her voice.

“...it’s such a stupid…’girl’ thing,” she muttered, mindlessly pulling at her hair again. “...so, what, I ‘feel’ bad and that leads to me...wanting a haircut and new clothes? What a stupid, artificial way of...feeling like something new is set to start...maybe I shouldn’t do this at all...it’s...it’s a lot easier to kill people when you look like this...it’s a tried and true concept…” Maki muttered mostly to herself, pulling at her hair, “...my mentor would be furious with me right now…”

Of course it wouldn’t look exactly like it would after the real cut, but it would at least give an idea of the way the style would look around Maki’s face. But while Denji drew, Maki started having second thoughts and...not exactly in the way that people usually did when getting a big hair cut. 

Denji was quiet for a moment, but… that wasn’t them at all.

Turning around to put a hand on their hip, the stylist scoffed, offended. “Ex-cuse me? Caring about your appearance is not a women’s domain, and it’s not stupid in the slightest. It’s people’s first impression of you, so obviously you have to change it when you change. Not to even start that living in a way where your reflection isn’t you is gross and miserable.”

“And who the fuck cares if some person doesn’t want you to change your look. It’s your body and no one else has a say in that. Your mentor would be furious? Let them be! Rub it in their fucking face that they don’t own your body and maybe if they care about you at all they can get the fuck over themselves and be happy that you got to do something you wanted.”

Denji huffed, crossing their arms over their chest, standing tall and proud. Refusing for a single moment to not be anyone they weren’t. “And so what if it makes killing people harder? Really, unless you’re vying for a reason to get out of here, which you could just fucking do if you want it so badly, you shouldn’t be killing people at all. And, darling, I really doubt it’s the hair and clothes that offset that even a little when you scream at people how much you’d like to kill them all the time.”

Maki gave the stylist a dry look...before laughing a little. Not really a ‘ha ha’ sound, like she occasionally gave her friends. More an exasperated little ‘huff’ sound.

“...I maybe...have a habit of...reacting more...viscerally than I need to...I don’t like being underestimated and confused for someone sweet. It’s useful sometimes but...I don’t want to be treated like that when I’m not working a job. So maybe...maybe I’ve gotten into the habit of overcompensating a little.” Maki admitted...before glaring at the stylist, murder in her eyes as she said, “You tell anyone anything I say in this room…”

She hesitated...Denji actually had a point, though Maki wasn’t maybe taking away from them the message they intended. people were going to notice soon that she didn’t really intend to murder anyone here, not unless the need was truly something dire. Her threats would lose their meaning when they did. Not if she kept threatening murder, anyway. People would start to dismiss her if she didn’t change her tactic.

So, thinking about it, she said, “...and I’ll find your favorite outfit and shred it.” 

Denji deflated at that, pouting at Maki, very definitely not giving their closet a concerned glance. “...absolutely evil. You know that, right? Ugh, fine, I’m not going to spew out all your little vulnerable moments like I do for everyone else I get in my chair.”

Sticking their tongue out at Maki in a manner quite similar to Kokichi, they gestured to the drawing on the mirror. “So? Step up, pull your hair back--is this something you want? I can keep you in front of the mirror as I cut so you can make decisions on the fly, if you want. Though, like most things, it will look weird no matter what until it’s done.”

Maki felt herself relax a little, before nodding. “Sure. Let’s do that.”

Following the stylist's instruction, Maki both reserved herself to her choices and felt herself grow more nervous and, somehow...more relaxed at the same time. She still wasn’t sure if this was the right choice, and she still felt a little silly that this was how she was coping with all the guilt she had taken away from her conversation with Seiko this morning.

….had she been punishing her friends?

She hadn’t meant to. That was the thing. She really hadn’t meant to. 

Maki didn’t feel any guilt over what she had tasked Tom to do. She wouldn’t feel guilty about how she handled Itch later, which based on the reports to her of exactly what his crimes consisted of, were getting more and more specific in her mind every day. And she didn’t regret how she handled Kaito at the beach.

But the things she had done were retribution for real pain caused, against people she cared about. And because she cared about the people causing the pain too, she couldn’t just... trust them to make better decisions on their own, because the decisions they had made on their own had been, well...to rape and kill people. Fear was a very sincere motivator to change. She didn’t regret putting that fear into any of them.

…but the stuff they had done on the pollen? 

She shouldn’t be punishing her friends for that. All it would do would hurt them. Pointless pain for no one's sake but her own satisfaction...which might be worth it against people she wasn’t particularly fond of, admittedly. 

But not Shuuichi, and not Kaito.

She hadn’t meant to.

...she didn’t really know how to be better. She had done those things sincerely thinking it would help them. It had taken Seiko pointing it out for her to even consider she had any other reason. 

She didn’t know how to improve, but...she’d think about it. At least she was aware of it now.

“...I’ve never gotten a haircut before.” She admitted, looking at Denji start to ready their scissors with a touch of nerves. “Beyond cutting my bangs myself, I mean...I’m not used to letting anyone with blades near me. If I flinch or tense up, it’s not your fault...and if you cut me by accident, I may freak out on you.”

Getting a tarp from their closet, Denji had laid it out on the floor in front of the mirror, grabbing a smaller wooden chair for Maki to sit on. Getting hair out of upholstery was just a pain, and not a mistake Denji wanted to repeat just for a small upgrade of comfort. They had gotten two towels to lay around Maki’s shoulders as well, protecting her clothes from the same annoyance. 

And when it was finally time to wield the scissors, the stylist just nodded. “Noted. I guess some discomfort is inevitable, then, but try to let me know how you’re doing--we can always take a break. Also, like, let me know if you have to sneeze or something. It wouldn’t matter too much at the start, but if you don’t want me getting creative, a warning will do.”

“Now,” they started, gently brushing out a chunk of Maki’s hair, already out of her usual ponytails. “I’m going to cut just below your shoulders to get the length off. Your hair will spring back, getting rid of all that weight, so it’ll let us see what the length actually is.”

Making sure Maki could see them in the mirror, Denji readied the first cut. “Here we go.”

Snip

-

Kaito was running around the castle, looking for Maki. Their hope of having a nice dinner as a family tonight sort of crushed without all members...and also, it wasn’t like her to just ‘disappear’ these days. She usually worked hard to make certain they knew where she was all the time, in case they needed her. Today, though? Kaito couldn’t find her anywhere, so he and Tim were looking.

So, Kokichi and Shuuichi were waiting in the princes’ room. Well, specifically Kokichi was waiting in their room, and Shuuichi had been in the bathroom for...awhile now. Maybe a little too long. 

And then, out of nowhere, Shuuichi came out of the bathroom, eyes wet with near-terror, and he said, “Kokichi, maybe it is cancer.”

Kokichi had been chilling out on their bed, lying out on his stomach while he propped his chin up, looking over the letters and drawings and posters on the wall. It wouldn’t be like Maki to head out to town with at least telling someone, though it was completely fine for her to do so, but...he had a feeling she was still in the castle. And while searching the castle could take hours, entire days if what you were looking for was small or sneaky enough, she and Kaito and Tim could really be back at any moment, and he didn’t want to start something just to stop immediately.

So, he was just lazing, thinking that maybe he should check on Shuuichi soon when--

Kokichi scrambled off the bed, just wanting to be near Shuuichi. With wide worried eyes, he reached out, wanting to soothe, but not wanting to touch Shuuichi if he didn’t want it. “U-uh! Um, why do you think that?”

Shuuichi was clearly on the verge of panicking, his hands nervously on his stomach as he began to recite, “Fatigue, weight changes, change in bladder habits, joint pain, a-and lump or area thickening under the s-skin, tumor, tumor, Kokichi I th-think I feel a tumor.”

Reaching out to grab Kokichi’s wrist, he put it under Shuuichi’s shirt, pressing his fingers into his stomach as he said, “F-feel that? That just showed up today. It’s a tumor, right? Sh-should we go get Seiko?”

Kokichi’s eyes widened even more as Shuuichi placed his hand against his abdomen and… ...yeah. There was… It wasn’t just weight gain in Shuuichi’s belly. There was a distinct lump right around his belly button. 

Everything he had listed as being signs of cancer...from what Kokichi had read, those were signs of pregnancy too. But...they shouldn’t start feeling the baby yet, right? Not for a few more months. And, well, they kind of knew for sure that Shuuichi hadn’t gotten pregnant earlier…

Kokichi swallowed, suddenly...very scared. Gently, he took his hand back, going to place his hands on Shuuichi’s shoulders. “I think that would be a good idea. We don’t… Everything might be totally different, you know? I don’t think we should freak out yet but...let’s go to Seiko. Get informed.”

Giving Shuuichi’s shoulders a squeeze, Kokichi looked around almost in a daze for his shoes, finding them and getting a sweater from the closet, grabbing one of Kaito’s for Shuuichi to wear.

Shuuichi gratefully put it on, holding Kokichi’s hand as they left. He didn’t know what he was feeling right now, other than abject terror. Would it...would it be a good thing, if it was cancer? No, right? But, but, then Shuuichi wouldn’t be bringing a kid into the world that he and his lovers were in no way mature enough to handle. A-and that meant Dr. Kimura’s medicine actually was working the way it was supposed to, and he wouldn’t be going back into heat once the baby was born, and, and…

...it’d be a good thing, right? To not be having a baby?

...right?

It wasn’t like he was used to the idea yet. He barely thought about it right now. Avoided thinking about it as much as he could. Could feel the icy crawl of terror start in his veins when he thought about his pregnancy in any real way. If it turned out it was a tumor all along, playing tricks on his body, as terrifying as that would be...at least it was something that would only affect Shuuichi. Not his friends. Not some...poor, stupid infant he was bringing into this mess for no reason other than fear.

...god, he didn’t know what to think…

(It had been nice seeing Kaito with the baby books. The one thing this morning that had made Shuuichi genuinely feel better about things. Kaito seemed...pumped.)

On their way down, Hajime was heading up with new sheets for some of the veterans up there. Noting the (somewhat familiar by this point) look of distress on the two’s faces as they headed past him, Hajime called out to them. “Prince Kokichi, Shuuichi! Hey, whoa, slow down there, everything alright? Do you need help?”

Kokichi kept up a steady rhythm of stroking his thumb against Shuuichi’s hand, unsure which of them he was trying to comfort. Cancer was...scary. There had been people who survived various types, and he knew Seiko would give her all into making sure Shuuichi had the best care available but… It still took so many lives. And from the size of what he felt in Shuuichi’s gut…

(...something that size meant that it was pretty developed. Even if they could safely remove a tumor...something that big meant that it was sure to have spread throughout Shuuichi’s body, right?)

(...god he hoped it was just weird pregnancy stuff. Maybe it wasn’t fair to Shuuichi but...he wouldn’t know what to do if his boyfriend was marked for death like that…)

(...he still didn’t really know what to think about being a father. But...he had been excited for it, in some ways. Something so special between him and his lovers, getting the chance to raise a child…)

Kokichi was jolted out of his thoughts as Hajime called out and he attempted to put a smile on for the man. “Sorry, we’re headed to Seiko’s. If you see Kai-chan, could you let him know that’s where we are?”

In no way whatsoever did Hajime not trust Kokichi. But despite that trust, Hajime found himself looking at Shuuichi for a moment, gauging if he was alright and if he needed help regardless of Kokichi’s answers. His presence in Kokichi’s life was familiarly polite, historically, the two never becoming close despite years working in the same castle Kokichi lived in, and Hajime had long learned that Kokichi didn’t want anything more friendly or intimate with any of the staff. Hajime respected that. But Shuuichi and the other Luminaries…

...look, Hajime was starting to feel a little responsible for them, in a weird, round-about kind of way. It had been a joke for a long time now that he was the ‘Luminaries housekeeper’, and while before that had been annoying and a little derogatory, even... now? After going on a trip with them and dealing with a terrorist attack from a literal death cult with them and becoming a trusted person to look after what seemed to be consistently the weakest of them and being named their youngest’s honorary uncle...

Look, all that to say? Hajime was starting to get attached to them, and Shuuichi in particular, regardless of how the ex-detective himself felt about it. 

So he looked at Shuuichi for a moment until the Luminaries golden eyes glanced up, saw him staring, before hiding under his cover, just shrugging. “Just need to talk to Seiko.” he agreed with Kokichi.

“Sure. Alright…you two be safe out there!” Hajime called to them, watching the two head down the stairs...before starting to fret.

Maki.

 Definitely had to find Maki.

Kokichi gave Shuuichi’s hand what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze as they continued on, leaving the castle. Thankfully it was just overcast, not raining, so they didn’t need to worry about tracking down an umbrella or being pelted with cold water, but it was still a little nippy out, and Kokichi was glad he’d snagged one of Kaito’s sweaters for Shuuichi.

Didn’t...didn’t need him getting sick… In any case. 

Walking across the market to the area Seiko’s pharmacy was in, Kokichi noticed that they had garnered some attention, but… Maybe it was their quick pace, maybe some people could sense the worry, though he tried not to look panicked, but they didn’t get more than a few waves and some hellos, which Kokichi distractedly returned. As they passed the blacksmiths, he caught Mr. Izayoi’s eye, the blacksmith sitting outside his forge, sharpening some small blades, turned more towards the pharmacy than out to the street. The two shared a small nod before Kokichi held the door open for Shuuichi, ushering him inside the pharmacy.

“Dr. Kimura? Do you have a moment?”

Seiko started from behind the counter, but for once she had heard the small bell from her door and had started getting things to the point where she could leave them for a bit. “One m-moment, please, Kokichi!” she called back, indeed appearing after a moment, looking a little surprised to see Kokichi and Shuuichi and...no one else. 

“Kokichi, Shuuichi...hello. What can I do for you?”

“Dr. Kimura, I think we were wrong.” Shuuichi said, looking around real quick to make certain there were no other customers in the store (it was usually a decent bet there weren’t, every time Shuuichi had visited so far now that not being hugely an issue. Later, when Shuuichi had time to think about it, he’d find himself wondering why Dr. Kimura’s reputation wasn’t improving considering all the high profile successes she was having lately. Certainly people would want to visit the healer who was the heir-apparent’s primary medical provider and the head of a cure for...did people know about the despair pollen? Was that common knowledge? He would realize later he didn’t actually know.) before gently pulling away from Kokichi’s hand and going up to the counter.

(Also, ‘we’ was an incredibly generous term in the moment. Considering the sheer embarrassment telling literally the entire kingdom about his current state had caused him, Shuuichi, if he found out he wasn’t pregnant, after time to calm down about it...would be furious at the ‘misunderstanding’)

“I’m...I think I feel a tumor in my stomach.” He said urgently, glancing back at Kokichi for validation as he quickly added in, “Kokichi felt it too. It’s way too early for me to be...for anything to be showing, right? But we can both feel hardened muscle tissue under my skin. With this new evidence, I-I think we may want to reconsider stomach cancer?”

Seiko’s eyes widened at the new development, noting the slight nod and worried look on Kokichi’s face, and she quickly came around to open the door to her lab, motioning for the boys to come to the back. “That...that’s certainly a major point to reevaluate things…”

The back of Seiko’s store was divided into two parts. Or, really, three, but the part that was supposed to be inventory for the pharmacy had just become boxes placed haphazardly where she could find space. There was her lab, a counter and racks of shelves with cold storage safely locked to the side, various equipment placed wherever she needed it, and there was...well, it was mostly like an examination room, though less of a room and more of a curtained off area with a raised cot, a bathroom, and an extra sink. 

Taking out a fresh sheet from a drawer, Seiko laid it over the cot. “Please lie down, Shuuichi… If it’s alright with you, I would like to examine the possible tumor myself, and...I may need another urine test. I might be able to find signs in a blood test, but if you have cancer cells in your digestive system, then urine might be the best way to find out.”

Kokichi dithered a bit, worried but trying to remain calm for Shuuichi’s sake. He glanced between the doctor and his boyfriend, then to the curtain. “Should I wait somewhere else, or…?”

Seiko looked to Shuuichi as well, giving him the decision. 

Shuuichi’s first instinct was to ask Kokichi to leave. He didn’t trust healers, but his checkups with Seiko, just based on their history, always felt...private. Secret things, even though they weren’t anymore. His feelings on Dr. Kimura were complicated, at best. She was one of the most steadfast and yet untrustworthy people he had ever met...and because of that contrast, her presence was both reassuring and constantly alarming.

All that to say that his first instinct was to want to be alone with her if she was examining him, for complicated emotional reasons that he didn’t quite understand himself, but generally equaled into: Because things were safer that way.

...but he tried to imagine a very immediate future where Seiko, in that tired, gentle, and hopelessly awful way of hers, telling him that it really was a tumor, and what a tumor that size meant…

“No, please.” Shuuichi said, a shiver of fear running through him as he looked urgently at Kokichi. “Stay. Please?”

Giving Kokichi another urgent look, Shuuichi went to go lay on the table, hating this part. He knew she was about to touch him. It was necessary and he wasn’t against it. It was just...uncomfortable. Especially considering how crazy her touch had used to make him in the not so recent past. He tensed, just waiting.

Shuuichi didn’t need to say please twice. Kokichi went to his side in an instant, gently brushing his hand against Shuuichi’s, there to hold if he needed it. There...there wasn’t much he could do for Shuuichi, but he could be there. 

Waiting for him to be settled, Seiko asked what she could lift--just the sweater, sweater and shirt, whatever he was most comfortable with--and adhering to his choice, she began gently but purposefully feeling around his abdomen, starting up by his stomach. 

And…

“...your stomach feels normal…” Though, upon seeing him, that was expected. If she hadn’t been looking for it, she would’ve just assumed that Shuuichi had gained a bit more weight, but...there was a bit of roundness to his lower belly now, around his intestines and...well, uterus. 

She felt around what Shuuichi was actually concerned about and… Yeah. She let out a soft breath. “...in the terms of thinking this is a tumor… It’s around your intestines, more than your stomach. Centered in the front, so it’s not your kidneys… And...you haven’t mentioned any constipation, so...I would doubt this is growing in your intestines… It’s rare for anything to develop in the connective tissue, though…”

For the sake of openness, Seiko murmured out her thought process, letting the boys know her evaluation. There was a sort of contained firmness about the size of a fist, centered in the lower front of Shuuichi’s abdomen. And...he was right. This sort of development shouldn’t be occurring now, not for another two months at least. It really did seem to be some sort of tissue growth or tumor…

...and that would be what Seiko would consider most likely, if this were a normal pregnancy. 

...the spores had prepared Shuuichi’s body--and some of the others who had been regularly taking spores, she had found--for pregnancy so...would it be out of the question for it to start the pregnancy before he was “pollinated”? That would explain the weight gain a little more, she supposed… And...maybe fetuses developed from parents who had the spores grew differently?

Furrowing her brow, Seiko felt around the lump a bit more, this time with the mindset that this was someone in their 15th week. She wasn’t an obstetrician, but…

...huh. 

“...one moment, please…” Seiko muttered, moving to a cupboard and getting out a stethoscope, cleaning it with disinfecting wipes before warming up the plate and returning to Shuuichi. 

“I’m feeling an unusual amount of fluid, and not where your bladder is so…” She felt around a little more, this time listening in for the sound of fluid and...yeah. Normal digestion sounds, liquid sounds… And, just for curiosity, she placed the plate on a particular part of Shuuichi’s abdomen, keeping still for a moment. 

Before a small smile graced her face under her mask. 

Looking to Shuuichi, she offered, “Would you like to hear? I think that w-would be the best way to understand…”

Shuuichi gave Seiko a concerned look. She wanted him to...listen to his tumor? Or…

“Okay.” He said quietly, sitting up so that he could give the stethoscope enough length to stay in the spot she had put it. Taking the scope from her, he gave her another small, tense confused look, before placing it to his own ears.

...his brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s a heartbeat.”

Giving him a gentle look--and to Kokichi too, seeing his head whip up--Seiko explained, “Normally, in the second trimester, you can start to hear a baby’s heartbeat with a stethoscope. The form in your abdomen is about the size of a fetus at the start of the second trimester too, and about where your womb is.”

“Honestly...I don’t know why you’ve developed so quickly when you’re only a month in.” Seiko sighed, a bit of her own frustration with the uncertainties of the spores bleeding into her face. “Really...I’ll urge you to see that OB I gave you a referral for--they’re actually trained to know the signs of all this, and they have the equipment to see it. It’s...a good sign that you can hear a heartbeat, though.”

“...I know being pregnant isn’t ideal, Shuuichi, but...at least we know for sure now. This isn’t a tumor. You’re just...growing a lot faster than we thought.”

There was a small exhale, Kokichi unable to stifle a sigh of relief. Shuuichi didn’t have cancer...he was going to be alright… Giving Shuuichi a small smile, his eyes a little wet from relief, he half shrugged. “...good thing we already made the announcement then…”

...Shuuichi hadn’t recognized the sound.

Even after she told him, it took him a second of listening, trying to decipher what that small, steady thump meant. Seiko was saying things, and he...sort of heard her. Heard her in a distant kind of way. But mostly he was listening to the small, strange, thumping sound.

...it was alive?

Oh, sure. Shuuichi had known it was alive this whole time. Had known he was pregnant. But...but it had a heartbeat already? It was developing already?

...it was alive?

Shuuichi ignored both Seiko and Kokichi, listening to the little thumping sound. And felt…

He didn’t know.

He hadn’t expected it to be alive.

He was hearing a...he was hearing a baby?

...he was hearing his….???

He didn’t know how to feel. He was a little in shock. The fears of the tumor completely forgotten in the wake of the small, new reality of a soft, weak, thump, thump, thump…

‘Enjoy that steady, calm heart beat for now, kid.’

‘You are absolutely going to have anxiety issues.’

And with that strange, surreal thought, Shuuichi quickly took the stethoscope off...before giving Kokichi a tired look. “Wanna hear?” He asked. “It’s weird.”

Kokichi looked between Shuuichi and Seiko, almost hesitant in his excitement. “If that’s alright…?”

Cleaning the earbuds again, Seiko passed it over to Kokichi, keeping her hand still so that he would be able to hear the heartbeat. And, after a moment, Kokichi’s eyes widened, a look of rapturous surprise on his face like he had just discovered something amazing. He turned to look at Shuuichi with that same look, opening his mouth once before closing it, struck speechless. 

That...that definitely was a heartbeat. And it was...steady. Weak, but consistent. There. Present. 

...alive. 

With how weird everything else was...Seiko found it kind of funny how normal their reactions were. Speaking more to Shuuichi while Kokichi processed everything, she gave him an apologetic look. “An OB would be able to tell you more about your fetus’ growth than I can. But...considering how quickly it’s developed, I think you may need to check in...likely weekly. I cannot tell how it’s development is going or even if it’s in a standard order…”

“...but I’m glad you came by. We may just need to play things by ear--if you start feeling anything different, it would benefit us to check on it.”

“...yeah, okay.” Shuuichi said, feeling tired after the adrenaline rush of walking down there, convinced he was about to be told he was dying, and then hearing the incredibly surreal sound of another...heartbeat in his...intestines.

...how was this kid getting out of him?

“….I’ll make an appointment with the OB you keep talking about.” Shuuichi promised, just feeling exhausted now. He smiled slightly though, somewhat amused, by the delighted look on Kokichi’s face. He didn’t know how he felt yet. He was in a bit of shock, honestly. 

Getting himself off the table, Shuuichi said shyly to Seiko, “Thanks for seeing us, Dr. Kimura. Sorry we keep just...rushing into your pharmacy and stuff. But, yeah, next time something is weird, we’ll...try not to panic. Sorry.” Shuuichi apologized again, reaching out for Kokichi’s hand, saying quietly, “If Kaito notices we’re gone, he’s gonna worry. Do you wanna head ba-”

“Where is he!?”

There was a sound from the front of the pharmacy, like a door had been just barely opened and more, like, shoved, Seiko’s little bell ringing loudly under the intensity of the shove as someone (definitely Maki) rushed in, calling out, “Seiko!? Are they here!?”

“Maki-roll, hey, calm down, Hajime didn’t say they seemed hurt, just that they were in a hurry.” Someone else (definitely Kaito) said to her, walking in behind her, before calling over his shoulder, “Tim, close the door, would you? And, uh, shoot...pick up that piece of the bell. Damn. Seiko? You in here!? We’re gonna replace your bell, I promise!”

Seiko shook her head a little. “It’s quite alright. You’re dealing with a lot of unknowns, and considering it’s your body, you’re completely in the right for panicking. I’m just thankful I could give you some certainty relatively quickly.”

Kokichi squeeze Shuuichi’s hand, calmed down a little though his adoring look didn’t dim, only focusing in on Shuuichi, and he was about to agree when chaos came looking for them. 

Snorting to herself, Seiko didn’t bother giving the two boys a look before she quickly stepped around the curtain and over to be in the view of the counter, calling back, “They’re here, they’re alright. I--oh!” There was a brief sound of surprise before Seiko caught herself, not wanting to get distracted complimenting Maki on her new look. “We’ll be out in a moment.”

Laughing under his breath, Kokichi gave Shuuichi’s hand another squeeze. “You good to go?”

Shuuichi sighed at this way over-dramatic friends, before nodding at Kokichi, “Yeah, lets go.”

Heading out the curtain, following after Seiko, Shuuichi’s eyes widened immediately. “...Maki?”

A woman with short, bobbed hair, that spiked in the bangs, wearing a jacket over a simple short, black dress and boots, who in theory was very likely Maki, but also far more likely Maki’s evil twin sister (or, well, considering everything Shuuichi knew about Maki, her long lost...good twin sister? Who baked cupcakes and didn’t casually consider maiming everyone around her on a near continuous basis), turned her blood red eyes, her body tense, looking like she wanted to casually maim everyone around her (oh, okay. It was Maki), before sighing, seeing both Shuuichi and Kokichi, relaxing. “There you are...what are you two doing!? Why didn’t you have anyone come with you!?”

Shuuichi sighed, rolling his eyes a little. “Maki, we’re not children...we can walk to the pharmacy by ourselves in our own town.”

Kaito grinned, also looking a little notably relieved to see both of his loves well, before quickly going over to them, Timothy fiddling with a small piece of bell by the door, not super concerned by any of this. Looking over Shuuichi, he asked them, “Of course you guys can! And, we appreciate you asking Hajime to tell us where you were so we wouldn’t worry, right Maki?” Kaito said leadingly, looking back at Maki, who just huffed. “But, is everything okay? Why did you need to come all the way down to the pharmacy?”

Shuuichi thought about telling them his fears of a tumor...but all it would do is momentarily frighten Kaito and worry Maki (that was Maki, right?), so instead, he said, “Baby’s developing quicker than we thought it would. You can hear a heartbeat.”

“...what!?” Kaito asked, suddenly beaming. “Really!? Hold on, let me hear!”

“Kaito!” Shuuichi cried, as the red-head immediately got onto his knees, blushing furiously as Kaito pushed his shirt up and pressed his ear against his stomach. “Stop! Kaito, not in the middle of the store! What if someone walks in!?”

“Shhh, Shuuichi, I won’t be able to hear. Where do I have to listen for it?” He asked Kokichi and Seiko, pressing his ear in various spots on Shuuichi’s stomach.

For the second time in fifteen minutes, and probably the third in half an hour, Kokichi was stunned. Maki was… She looked…

Well, he felt kind of mean to think it, but...she looked like her. Like she wasn’t...wearing something for the sole purpose of catching someone off guard. She just...looked like Maki, out and about. Dressed and styled for her own purposes and not for perception. 

“Maki-chan...you look nice. I’m guessing Kai-chan finally found you at Denji-chan’s?”

He had wanted to ask her more, but Kokichi giggled a bit as Kaito rushed forward, excited. The books he’d been reeling in the office and his reaction now...that was more what he had been expecting with the announcement of Shuuichi’s pregnancy. Looked like the medicine had really worked. 

Looking over with amusement, Seiko put a gentle hand on Kaito’s shoulder. “You won’t be able to hear it with just your ear. If Shuuichi doesn’t mind, you could come to the back to listen through the stethoscope. I also sell at-home ones s-so you can listen in whenever Shuuichi allows it.”

“Oh fuck yeah! Atua be pleased, absolutely I am buying that. Shuuichi, please?” Kaito said, getting up and taking Shuuichi by the hand, glancing over the counter excitedly as he started to gently pull Shuuichi back there, “Please, please, I have to hear this! Maki, you wanna come here my baby?! Tim!?”

Shuuichi just sputtered, half alarmed and half exasperated as he allowed himself to be led to the back, Maki starting to walk back there with them before looking back at Timothy, “Do you want to come hear the heartbeat?” she asked him.

Timothy looked wary at this. He had heard about the pregnancy by this point, but...it sounded like a fake thing. And no one had yet to really sit down and explain exactly what it meant that Uncle Shuuichi and his ‘dad’ and Prince Kokichi were having a baby...he just knew a few random adults had ‘congratulated’ Timothy. 

He...wasn’t sure why?

But… “Okay.” He said, following his mom into the back.

Shuuichi wasn’t actually against letting them listen. It was just kinda embarrassing, and, again, he wasn’t sure what he thought about the heartbeat himself yet. But as Kaito eagerly took the earbuds from Seiko, putting it on as she showed him where to put it, Shuuichi could admit that, like it was nice to see Kokichis’ reaction to it...seeing Kaito’s eyes light up when he recognized that small thump, thump, thump sound was...soothing. Reassuring. 

“Wow….” Kaito whispered, something...wet in his eyes as he listened to the first real, actual sign of his baby. “Wow...Kokichi, you heard this, right? Wow...Maki, Maki, listen!”

Maki glanced at Shuuichi to confirm it was alright, who just gave her a slightly annoyed but accepting look, before she took the earbuds from Kaito, listening too for a moment...before, at the exact same time, her shoulders tensed, and her gaze softened.

Maki’s predetermined destiny, stolen from the god who had actually designed her by a god who had desperately needed someone exactly like her, fell into line as she thought, almost idly, resigned to it... ‘Another one to protect.’

But aloud, she said, “...that’s amazing Shuuichi.”

“Can I hear?” Tim asked, curious after seeing the looks on the adults faces. Taking the earbuds from his mother, he listened, eyes narrowing...before he shrugged. “It’s just a small sound.”

“It’s the life of a sibling. Take heed to it. It’ll be your responsibility, someday.” Maki whispered to him, taking the stethoscope off him and handing it back to Seiko.

Timothy didn’t really understand what she meant by that, but just frowned and nodded, taking it seriously.

Not wanting to be the only one standing out in the store, Kokichi followed everyone back into the examination area, smiling at the reactions he saw. Kaito’s awe--which he could intensely empathize with--Maki’s care, Tim’s childish confusion and aloofness…

...he wondered if this was what it was like, when his mom and dad first found out about her pregnancy…

Almost to himself, he sort of replied to Tim, his voice soft and grateful. “It’s small, but it’s healthy…”

And that made Seiko pause, getting the chance to raise an eyebrow at Kokichi. “...it...is a regular, healthy heartbeat, but…”

He startled slightly before his cheeks reddened a smidge, shrugging. “Some healers had me listen to my heartbeat to understand what was wrong. But...Shuu-chan’s baby doesn’t sound anything like it. It sounds healthy…”

“Of course they're healthy! They’re one of my stock! A new, fierce little Momota.” Kaito praised, leaning over and kissing Shuuichi’s stomach lightly, causing a small eye roll from Maki and a look of borderline disgust from Timothy. 

“If we’re all lucky, it’ll actually be an Ouma.” Maki pointed out, saving Shuuichi further embarrassment by pulling Kaito away from him. “For one, she’ll have a brain on her, at least. And two…” Maki sighed, shrugging slightly. “Well, you know why. It’ll make things simpler.”

“She?” Kaito asked, standing up, glancing at Maki curiously. “You know something I don't?”

“I’m allowed to dream. There’s far too much testosterone in my life as it is.” She said, “Kokichi’s already told me how unlikely it is. But I figure, maybe I can peer-pressure the universe.”

“...you’re trying to intimidate the idea of science itself to get a girl?” Kaito translated.

“No harm in trying.” Maki shrugged, before turning to Kokichi, “I’ve been told we’re eating dinner. Can I recommend us just buying quick food somewhere and eating back in the gardens? It might be wise to not bring Kaito to large, populated areas yet.”

“It’ll be cold.” Timothy whined, “Can’t we eat in the princes’ room? Isn’t that what you always do?”

“I...just wanna get out a little. Just be outside a bit.” Kaito said quietly, still reaching out to press his fingers lightly on Shuuichi’s stomach, who was just resigning himself to this. “Maybe we could grab some blankets to wrap ourselves in? That would make it warmer?”

Kokichi knew they wouldn’t be able to get away with it forever, especially depending on what the child would look like, but...he was hoping to keep the reality of the baby’s parenthood as vague as possible for as long as possible. By stating that Shuuichi was a surrogate, he knew that no one would ask Shuuichi who he had sex with--unless it was with, like, close friends or something, that wasn’t the kind of question people asked. And, as far as anyone knew, Shuuichi hadn’t had sex with either of them. Just that Kokichi and Kaito were claiming the child, and would raise them with Shuuichi. 

But he still laughed a little at the speculation, softly commenting, “Well, we know she’s a Saihara for sure, so I don’t think being a total smarty-pants will be in question.”

“We can totally grab food somewhere and bring it back,” Kokichi agreed with a nod. “And blankets are a good idea! If it does get too cold, though, there are still a lot of places inside we can eat that don’t have to be our room.”

“And! Since we’re getting food out, we can look around at least a little so everyone can find something they like!”

Finding herself smiling at the family, Seiko started to make her way back to the lab, aiming to get back to work. “I’ll let you all get to your evening, then. Have a good one.”

-

It basically became a stroll through the town.

When they asked what everyone wanted, Timothy insisted he wanted a burger, and Kaito decided that sounded good. Maki, in turn, decided noodles sounded good, and Shuuichi found himself agreeing with her. Getting to the restaurants that would sell them what they wanted, waiting outside the restaurants, chatting with each other as they waited for their food to cook. 

Kaito had bought from Seiko a small stethoscope, and kept trying to convince Shuuichi to let him hear the heartbeat again, but Shuuichi adamantly refused to let Kaito anywhere near him in public with it, until finally Maki had taken the stethoscope away from Kaito and given it to Tim, who was idly using it to listen to walls and plants and at one point Maki’s hip. No one knew what Timothy was listening for, and honestly, Timothy wasn’t listening specifically for anything. Just listening to see what he could hear.

As they collected their food, they headed back to the castle, and as they walked, they kept getting little looks. A few callouts. “Congratulations, Prince Kokichi!” a few said, beaming at the Dicean prince. Sometimes they directed the congratulations specifically to Shuuichi as well.

As they walked, Timothy looked around, picking up on Maki’s annoyance and thus a little annoyed himself as he said, “Why do people keep saying that? Why do they care if Uncle Saihara’s got a baby?”

Kokichi opted for noodles as well, choosing a dish with thin slices of beef and a sauce that was on the sweeter side of things. The shop they were waiting for was actually one he had been able to personally recommend, having gotten food there before. While restaurants were risky, getting food to-go was usually a safe bet. And...sometimes when he’d find somewhere secluded to eat and found extra food in his order? He couldn’t quite tell if he’d been found out and the people at the shop had wanted to treat him, or if it was a more regular thing and they were just taking pity on how small he was. 

That’s just how things were in town sometimes--small acts of kindness everywhere you looked. And while he had been nervous about how people would act with Kaito...either they just ignored him, or focused on Kokichi or Shuuichi. He knew his friends didn’t exactly revel in the attention, but it was something he’d take over judging looks and snubs. 

Adjusting his sweater a little, Kokichi laughed sheepishly, trying to think of how to explain this to Tim. “Well...having a kid is a special thing here. Something worth congratulating and celebrating. I don’t know if you’ve heard it around town, but it’s pretty common for strangers to call out congratulations if they’ve heard that someone’s having a baby.”

“And…” Kokichi rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a bit awkward about this part. “Well… We announced it to the whole kingdom. I haven’t said anything about Shuu-chan’s baby being the next heir, so it’s not that kind of excitement, but...I think there’s something to that vibe going on. People just being excited that a new member of the leading family is coming, whether that child will come to lead or not. If anything, it just means that my heir is gonna have another big sibling, though you’ve got the monopoly on super big brother, Tim.”

Timothy was confused by this. Maki had just said something similar, and some of the people who had congratulated him, who knew about Kaito’s unofficial but kinda official parenthood over him, had also said similar things. But was this...the same sort of sibling as in being raised in the same orphanage, or…

...he’d ask Miss Kawai about it later. 

Kaito laughed at this, his cheeks flushing warmly as he looked down at Timothy, enraptured by the idea that he now had two kids. It was a little sudden and a little strange and, okay, a little terrifying in a ‘oh god what am I going to do they need me to be a dad’ kind of way, but he was also just….endlessly pleased at the idea. He had two kids! One was on the way! The other was going to school tomorrow!

Oh, actually-

“Maki-roll, am I still taking Tim to school in the morning?” Kaito asked her, holding the bulk of the food himself, Timothy holding his and Maki’s portions. 

“....” Maki thought about it, glancing over at Timothy, who didn’t seem concerned one way or another, “...yes. Well, you and Shuuichi will be. Shuuichi knows the way. Just...don’t call too much attention to yourself, okay? Just make certain he gets there safely.”

“Got it, got it...so, you going to tell us about the new look soon, or…?” Kaito asked, giving his best friend a wide, inviting grin.

Maki sighed. “...it’s not a big deal.” she muttered.

Kokichi gave Maki a sweet smile, adjusting his stride a little to be by Maki. “Still, you look really nice, Maki-chan. Is it weird having short hair? Denji-chan’s explained it to me before, but they said it really makes a big difference. Oh, did you donate what you cut off?”

Maki may not want it to be a big deal, but...he got the impression it sort of was. From what he could gather, she’d had the same look, like...forever. Getting a haircut and wearing different clothes than your usual weren’t a big deal, but...it could mean whatever you wanted it to. 

And, still. Like with any haircut, he wanted to compliment his friend. 

“Oh, and you have some sort of scarf, right? It was probably a good idea to have one with long hair anyway, but you gotta protect your neck!”

Maki placed her fingertips on her neck, considering for a moment before admitting, “I do feel colder.”

“Denji said they wanted to use my hair for something. I wasn’t really paying attention, but it’s not on my head anymore, so they can do whatever they want with it.” Maki said, shrugging a little. “And...I don’t know. I just...wanted a change. We’re in a new kingdom, with new rights, and new expectations of us...why not embrace the changes and shake it up a little. Besides, your stylist doesn’t have enough to do. The talkative idiot needs more work to do.”

“I’ve been needing a trim.” Kaito admitted, running his hand through his hair, saying, “I tried gelling it up today after I was let out, and can barely get it to stay up. Oh! Thanks for letting me out today, Maki! It’s nice to be out of the medward!” Kaito said, giving Maki a wide grin, who just...grew more grim.

“Sure. Of course, Kaito. I was just...waiting for Seiko to say you were good to go.” Maki said quietly. Shuuichi, who knew for a fact that that wasn’t true, gave her a small, concerned look, but said nothing.

Kokichi nodded a bit. If Denji wasn’t just going to use Maki’s hair for styling practice, then they’d probably send it out for a donation. It looked like Maki had gotten rid of a few feet, so there was a lot you could make from it. Synthetic wigs were fine, but he’d heard that for people who had lost their hair in illness or age, having something that looked (and was) natural made things feel a little brighter. 

“Oh, I’m sure,” Kokichi snickered. “I haven’t let Denji-chan bully me into playing dress-up with them since Kai-chan and I got married, and no one but my dad really uses their services on a day-to-day basis. But, yeah, Denji-chan could totally give you a haircut, Kai-chan! I mean, if Maki-chan’s happy with their work, then that’s a pretty good review, right?”

He wasn’t...totally oblivious to the slight tension. But...they needed to speak up about it if it was going to bother them. So Kokichi just twirled around and went back to Kaito’s side, nuzzling his arm gently so as not to jostle their food. “And I’m happy you’re out too, sweets. I’ve missed ya.”

“Miss you too, beautiful!” Kaito said, grinning brightly down at his husband, before sighing dramatically, “Man, I can’t wait to sleep on our bed again. No offense to the medward, but man, those beds are way too stiff. Felt like I was sleeping on a board.”

“What about sleeping in your shrine?” Timothy asked, looking down at his food, drool starting to build, starting to notice how hungry he was.

“Um…” Kaito frowned, brow furrowed, before admitting, “I...I’m not sure? I don’t remember sleeping. I’m sure I did. Just don’t remember doing it.”

“Just passed out over and over again?” Shuuichi asked, as they headed into the gates of the city. As they walked, Maki paused, getting the attention of a housekeeper coming onto shift heading into the castle, asking if they wouldn’t mind bringing out some blankets to the garden for them, when they had a moment. The housekeeper, who knew Maki by reputation, blinked in surprise at the polite request, before nodding, hurrying off as Maki hurried back to her group. 

“No...maybe? Again, I just don’t really remember sleeping. Like, losing time or anything. Though, I guess it would have been hard to notice in the shrine.”

“It’s really gross in there.” Timothy said idly, “It smells awful. Miss Toujou said she wants to scrub the place down as soon as possible.”

All three of the Luminaries spoke at once.

“Uh, I mean...I’ll clean it up soon, Purdicitiam is coming up next week...she hasn’t done it on her own, has she?” Kaito said, sounding suddenly nervous.

“Timothy, you should stay out of the Atuan shrine. At least for now.” Shuuichi cautioned.

“When were you talking to Kirumi Toujou?” Maki demanded. Eyes flashing hot. 

Kokichi frowned in worry but...it was over now. Kaito was in the thralls of spores and...honestly, the grief and trauma and confusion of everything else that had happened, so he wasn’t super surprised that he’d lost time...but it still wasn’t great to hear. That Kaito had been suffering so much… He knew it was an unusual circumstance, he knew that isolation was a coping method and that if Kaito had to disappear for a little while in the future, it would likely be fine for him to do so. 

...but he still couldn’t help but feel that he should’ve done more. Tried to talk to Kaito more, even if he had been constantly worried about stressing his husband out more. 

...it was over, and they were all healing. 

From physical injuries as well as emotional ones. 

Kokichi looked over in slight worry, figuring that...well, this time, Maki had a pretty good reason to be worried about Tim talking with the older housekeeper. “Did...did she come by to apologize to you, Tim?”

Timothy shrugged, looking tired. “I think so.”

“Why do you only think so?” Kaito asked, looking down at the smaller red-head in concern, “Did she say the words ‘I’m sorry’?”

“Yeah.” Timothy said, “Along with a bunch of other stuff. She started lecturing me on stuff. It was mostly lecturing.”

“About what?”

Timothy wasn’t bothered by his moms tone, recognizing she was pissed at someone else, and that he likely wasn’t seeing the edge of her dagger or running a lap for it, so continued on undaunted, “Said I shouldn’t have gotten into a fight with a bunch of adults in the first place. That just because the older ex-Luminaries were doing something, didn’t mean I had to do it. That that’s not how Diceans solve problems.”

“Ha. Well…” Kaito remembered a small woman biting his leg and being shoved over railing and thought briefly of commenting...but immediately deflated on the idea. It had worked, hadn’t it? He had been trying to...he had…

...Kokichi’s neck was so small…

“...well, maybe.” Kaito said, quiet.

“And...did you feel any better about her kicking you into a wall-”

“Maki, hey, I don’t think Kirumi did it on purpose.” Shuchi said sincerely, knowing from experience as he said, “I think she just...was panicking and was reacting faster than she could think. And her reactions are very...violent. I don’t think she would have kicked Tim had she realized who was coming up before she reacted.”

“Well, that’s a shame for her. Because I’ll have plenty of time to think about it before putting her through a wall…”

“Maki, hey, come on now...let’s be an example, okay.” Kaito whispered to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Maki glared at him, snarling, “Oh, that’s rich coming from y-”

“I don’t care about Miss Toujou.” Timothy said, as they walked into the gardens, eagerly going to sit on an available bench. “She’s just a crazy old woman. And I’m not an ‘ex’-Luminary. She kept saying that. I think she might be stupid.” Timothy said, something bordering pity in the observation.

Lecturing...that sounded like Kirumi, alright. Kokichi knew it wasn’t from a place of superiority, really. Kirumi was just the kind of person to go out of her way to help others any way she could, and that included behavioral suggestions. She was probably worried that Tim had gotten hurt and...that worry came out in a lecture about staying out of fights bigger than him. 

Kokichi had a feeling that would go in one ear and right out the other. 

Sighing softly, Kokichi gave Tim a small smile. “Even if it was saddled with other stuff, I’m glad she came to apologize. I was...really surprised when I heard what she did… I didn’t even know she carried a whip on her…”

Turning to Maki, he gave her an apologetic look. “Not anymore, though. I don’t know if you heard, but she’s been given a personal weapons ban for the next five years. Even if it was a response to being stabbed...Maki-chan didn’t have a choice, and Kirumi-chan did. Choking you was...a really dumb and dangerous and needlessly cruel thing to do to you.”

Even if he wouldn’t condone any revenge against Kirumi Maki might feel was just, he did understand her anger. 

Kokichi helped pull up one of the garden tables, thankfully clean and dry, and pulled up a few more seats to accommodate their group, settling himself down in a seat next to Kaito. “That whole thing was just a huge mess…”

Maki rolled her eyes, taking her food from Tim as Kaito handed out the rest of the food to his lovers, “She was saving her own life. She knew I’d kill her if she let me go.”

“It’s weird that she got the best of you, mom.” Timothy observed, happily chewing on his french fries, again, not really worried about any of the rest of this..though this was something that had been bothering Timothy since the fight. “I mean, she’s a housekeeper from Dicea. I know she’s a front-line fighter, but aren’t you trained to fight in indoor spaces, one on one? I mean...soldiers can’t hope to fight off assassins. We all know that. So how did she?”

Maki narrowed her eyes at this...before saying, “Well...I was holding back in the beginning, but...afterwards?” She thought about it, breaking her cheap chopsticks before saying, honestly, “...I don’t know. She was a magnificent fighter. If she wasn’t such a shithead, I would admire her.” Maki admitted. “Perhaps she had an exceptional teacher here?”

Shuuichi looked at Kaito, trying to read his expression...and Kaito just looked calm and mildly confused, as if he was musing over the subject himself.

...how?

How on earth did Kaito not remember?

“...Kirumi isn’t Dicean.” Shuuichi finally said. Mostly out of concern for Kaito, more than anything else. Extremely concerned that he really, genuinely didn’t seem to remember something that should have been impossible for him to forget. “At least, she didn’t used to be.”

“She was Byakuya’s personal nanny for six years. “ Shuuichi said, watching Kaito’s expression, as Maki’s eyes widened at this. “And she was Head Secretary Tengan’s indentured housekeeper...basically his personal assistant, for a lot longer than that. She helped raise Kaito.”

Kaito stared at Shuuichi for a second...before saying, befuddled. “What?”

Kokichi broke his own chopsticks and opened the parcel with his food, taking a deep breath of it in, enjoying the mouth-watering smell as well as the warmth of the steam. He loved what the kitchen staff made, of course, but even when food elsewhere was on par, there was just something special about getting food out. Not something he thought he’d do that often, but nice every once in a while.

That nice feeling of sharing take out with his friends was...well, not broken, but…

Kokichi almost dropped his chopsticks, staring at Shuuichi in baffled shock. Kirumi was...a refugee? That in itself wasn’t so shocking, and neither was the fact that she hadn’t told anyone but…

That she was so close to his friends? And...what? Was she banking on them not remembering her or something? Well, except for Shuuichi, it worked. But...if she had escaped Luminary, then she obviously didn’t hold much fondness for it. Kaito, Maki, Shuuichi, and Tim were the first people to legally move to Dicea from Luminary in...a very long time so…

Kokichi closed his mouth, lips pressed together in worry. 

This could be...an issue.

Kaito grinned uneasily, “Uh, Shuuichi, handsome...look, I know I’m not the sharpest tool sometimes, but I think I’d remember my brother's childhood nanny. I mean, especially if she was a long term nanny? I must have had...geez, I don’t know. Dozens of them growing up. So did Byakuya. Mom didn’t believe in long-term nannies.”

“Yes, you should remember her.” Shuuichi said, this being the exact reason he had brought this up, “So...why don’t you? I mean, she left before I knew you, but you would have still been eight by the time she left, and would have known her most of your childhood. It’s...it’s extremely unlikely you don’t remember her. But Miss Toujou didn’t seem surprised to not be recognized by you. At least, not that I could tell.”

“Well, maybe as Byakuya’s nanny, she wasn’t as involved with Kaito? I don’t recognize her either.” Maki pointed out, chewing on her noodles as she considered all this...before chuckling, “I’ll admit. My pride is eased a little knowing she’s a Luminary housekeeper for the castle. Especially someone Tengan would take on long term? No wonder she’s crazy.”

“I just don’t think it’s possible...I don’t recognize her at all…” Kaito mused, considering his boyfriend as he said, “Are you sure you have the right person?”

“When she escaped the castle, several people died just being in her way on the way out.” Shuuichi said, figuring if he was going to tell them, he might as well tell them everything. 

Maki immediately looked over at Timothy and ordered, “You are not to repeat anything you hear tonight to anyone outside this group. Understand?”

“Yes, Miss Harukawa.”

“And trust me, I wouldn’t forget her. I had to throw myself between her and my mentor to keep her from snapping her neck. She...she could have killed me to get to her, but she didn’t.” Shuuichi said quietly, the memory still sending a shiver of stress through him, “...that’s why I don’t think she would have kicked Tim had she realized who he was. She doesn’t attack children, even if it’s to her benefit.”

Kokichi’s worried look exponentially grew with everything Shuuichi said. The fact that Kaito didn’t remember someone who would’ve been around so much...everything he had learned about conditioning just...made people do things. Except for autonomy, it didn’t take things away. Could Tengan have done something to make Kaito forget?

...or, as Kokichi paled, hearing of her apparent escape, maybe it was...a more common thing. Repressed memories saving him from trauma…

Kokichi set his chopsticks down, swallowing thickly, not as hungry as he was a moment ago. Everyone had assumed that Kirumi had choked Maki as a move of desperation, but if it was...Luminary hatred… Playing with his fingers in his lap, Kokichi shifted, seeming like he was debating getting up to leave. “I think...I should talk to Kirumi… If she’s going to put you guys in danger because of where you’re from…”

“No! No, no, that’s a terrible idea.” Shuuichi said, eyes widening in alarm. “No one can talk about this outside of the group. No one can suggest to her we know. Kirumi fought hard for her freedom, and she...she’s a fighter. If she feels threatened, in any way? If she thinks any of us are a threat to that freedom? I’m terrified to think of how she’d react...it’s why I held back mentioning this to anyone before. I just...we cannot risk a person like this panicking…”

“She’s not been a danger outside of the fight...it might not be worth it confronting her on the subject….” Maki said, thinking of where the danger was and giving her thought process aloud. “I’ll defer to what you want, Kokichi, but at the very least, if you’re going to, at least have me on standby.”

“I’m half convinced this is a mistake. Shuuichi, you’re saying there was a breakout of the castle that killed several people when I was eight? Why wouldn’t I remember that? That’s not exactly an everyday event.” Kaito laughed. 

“How do you not know about this!?” Shuuichi asked, genuinely astonished. “She’s still on our wanted lists! The guards still regularly report to the royal family about her case! How have you missed all this!?”

“...Kaito, what are some things you remember about being eight?” Maki asked, curious.

“What? Um...I don’t know? Hanging out in the temple and doing training sessions with Byakuya. That’s...I mean, I was eight. Just because I don’t remember a lot of that time doesn’t mean I wouldn’t recall something important if you brought it up.”

Kokichi’s lips pressed together again, but...he had to take that concern seriously. He wanted to say that of course nothing would impede Kirumi’s freedom and...even if she was a Luminous criminal, she wasn’t in Dicea. She was a refugee, and thus a Dicean citizen. Nothing would change that.

...but that was just how he thought. And even if it was logical and factually correct...he couldn’t just assume that’s how Kirumi would take it. If she thought that bringing up her past at all meant that they were going to turn her in to Luminary…

Kokichi let out a shaky breath. 

...but if she was going to take any of that anger towards Luminary out on his friends, he couldn’t just let that happen. At the very least...maybe just talking with her, not mentioning her past at all but just...saying blatantly that Kaito and the others weren’t symbols of Luminary, and if she needed an outlet for her anger, don’t let it be against people…

Kokichi just made himself smaller as he tuned back in to hear his friends questioning Kaito’s memory, having a bad feeling that the reason was something that would just make him feel sick and pissed. 

Kaito was about to make the, somewhat mocking, argument that Maki and Shuuichi should try to remember everything happening when they were eight years old...but noticed next to him the discomfort radiating off Kokichi.

Trying to remember what started this conversation in the first place, Kaito said to Timothy, “Do you feel in danger around Miss Toujou?”

Timothy looked somewhat offended by this. “I’m not afraid of anyone, and I’m not afraid of some gray haired old woman.”

“How...how old do you think Miss Toujou is, Tim?” Shuuichi asked, curious.

“77.” Timothy answered, with entirely sincere confidence.

Maki snorted at this, trying to hide her amusement in her noodles, as Kaito grinned at that as well, before saying, “Do you know what to do if she makes you uncomfortable in the future?”

“Go find Miss Kawai.” Timothy answered immediately, having already had this conversation with his nanny. 

Kaito blinked at that, opened his mouth...nodded, but added in, “Well, also you can come to one of us. Or Uncle Hajime. And if you can’t find any of us, just find an adult to bring you to one of us, okay? Miss Toujou is not an adult you have to listen to if you’re afraid, not anymore. She makes you uncomfortable? Tells you to stay or sit or go with her anywhere? You refuse and go find one of the people I just mentioned. Got it?”

Timothy shrugged, almost done with his food. “Sure. Got it.”

“There! That’s the problem solved! We don’t need to talk about her anymore.” Kaito decided cheerfully, before grinning at everyone. “Hey, it’s been two weeks since I’ve really talked to anyone about anything...other then, ya know, the obvious stuff, anything interesting happen the last two weeks? Anything I missed out on?”

...he was happy she didn’t seem to leave a lasting impact on Tim, at least. He still wanted to talk to Kirumi, but...hopefully things would be okay.

Sighing softly, Kokichi just shrugged a little. “Shuu-chan, Nadya-chan, and I’ve mostly just gotten a lot of work done. With mid-fall and the Harvest festival coming up, there’s always a lot to do, let alone adding in everything else going on.”

This had the potential to turn into another ‘thing’, but…

“And the telephone lines to Luminary have gone up,” he mentioned. “They’re still performing tests, making sure everything’s going through alright but...it seems communication between countries, and even in all the places on the way, will be a lot faster soon.”

Kokichi was kind of thankful that they had just been performing tests the last few days. If everything was up and working and Kaede had wanted to set up a meeting...his mind wouldn’t have been in it, too worried about Kaito’s recovery and...everything. 

Shrugging a little more, Kokichi just stared at his chopsticks, wondering if he could even make an attempt at eating. “My dad continues to thoroughly school me in mancala.” 

“Mancala?” Maki asked, looking to Shuuichi to ask him what mancala meant...before huffing “Really?”

Shuuichi’s eyes, distant and vaguely blown out, didn’t look back at her as he recited, “Mancala: competition between two players in the distribution of pieces (as beans or pebbles) into rows of holes or pockets (as in a board) under various rules that permit accumulation …”

“Oh, right, the pebble game with the holes. At ease Shuuichi, you weirdo.” Maki muttered, giving the ex-detective a dry look as she said, “Really?”

Shuuichi just sighed, shrugging. “Guess so.”

“It’ll get better. It’s been a weird few months.” Kaito assured them both, ignoring his own curl of guilt. Shuuichi being shuffled off into reciting lists a few times last week probably hadn’t...helped with all that. Looking brightly to Kokichi, he said, “You’re playing games with your father? That’s awesome, ‘Kichi! You’re really repairing that relationship, huh?”

Kokichi gave Shuuichi a worried look, reaching over to pat his arm a little once he finished the infodump. But, after another moment of worry, he tried for a small smile, nodding. “We’re trying. The past twenty years can’t really be undone...but we can make the next twenty better. We’re just...trying to get to know each other as people. More than the expectations of family roles, more than people in the same line of work…”

“Buuuuut it’s a little awkward just talking, so we started playing games. Card games and board games that you don’t have to focus too hard on the game for. I guess it’s just kind of fair that he beats me at mancala when I have a perfect record against him in chess.” Kokichi smirked a bit, still a little proud about that.

He calmed though, looking around at his friends. “...I know you guys don’t really trust Aiichi, but… Really. Just like me, he’s sworn to protect our citizens, and that includes you. If you ever need something, he really is a resource you can consider.”

“Who?” Timothy asked.

“The king.” Shuuichi said, though he grinned a little, a little astonished as Timothy just looked more confused. “King Aiichi?”

“The man in the robes with the purple hair?” Maki tried, as Timothy still looked a little blank, “Came to talk to you after you nearly stabbed your dad to death?...did you not know Dicea had a king?”

“I thought Prince Kokichi ruled Dicea.” Tim said with a shrug.

“Well, no...then he’d be King Kokichi.” Kaito chuckled.

“Or ‘Boss’.” Maki pointed out.

At this, Timothy suddenly nodded. “Oh. Riddle guy. He’s king?”

“Riddle guy?” Kaito mused.

Timothy just shrugged at that. He hadn’t understood some of the things the Boss had told him, back when he had been telling Timothy things during the secretaries interviews with him. Between Timothy’s shock at stabbing Kaito, fear of being executed, and the man's somewhat strange way of wording things, he had been entirely lost in understanding what the man was saying, and eventually just decided the guy the guards called ‘Boss’ was someone who went and told riddles. It had seemed weird even at the time.

“I’m sure King Aiichi is a fine ruler. The staff practically worships him here.” Shuuichi observed, finishing his noodles and, happily, moving onto his dessert, offering Kokichi a bite, since they had gotten two different kinds. “But...it’s usually easier to not bring things to the highest authority in the land. Even if he’s nearby. They can just...decide things.” Shuuichi said uneasily, Maki nodding along with this. “And what if they decide against you? It’s a way of trapping yourself in a corner, if you’re not careful.”

“But! It’s good that Kokichi is developing a relationship with his biological father. Right guys?” Kaito led, grinning earnestly at them, before saying, “It’s something he’s been struggling with? So...some encouragement?”

“It’s good that that part of your life is improving, Kokichi.” Maki offered, entirely sincere, though it might sound not as sincere after Kaito’s goading. “Family is a wonderful thing. Even the most difficult parts of it...an effort should always be made, if possible, for those you claim as yours.”

“Yeah!” Kaito said enthusiastically….before saying, in the next breath, “Hey. Does anyone know who I have to set up an appointment with to use the new telephone? I’d actually really love to talk to Byakuya soon, if I could. See how he is, how the funeral went, the coronation...just catch up, ya know?” Kaito said cheerfully, before glancing at Shuuichi and Kokichi with a smirk. “You guys enjoying those desserts?”

Kokichi, similarly, just looked at Tim in astonishment, baffled that...he didn’t know who Aiichi was? And a little flattered that apparently Tim thought he was leading the country. But mostly, just, highly amused, snickering to himself. And...maybe it was something he could tell Aiichi the next time they sat down together to play something. It was the sort of thing the leader would get a kick out of. 

And it was enough for Kokichi to reach for his chopsticks again, finally taking a bite, and though his dinner had cooled down, it was still delicious. 

“Still, he’s there if you happen to need him. Considering what he does all day is talk to people about their thoughts and ideas and problems, it wouldn’t be any different coming from you guys.” Kokichi gave the group a smile as he ate, feeling warm with Maki’s words. And even Kaito’s request didn’t worry him...too much. Not enough to stop him from snagging the offered bite of dessert from Shuuichi. 

Through a half-full mouth, he mentioned, “Prolly talk to Ryouhei. I know the castle telephone is right by the scribes’ office, at least. He’s been managing the phone since we got the first one set up, though I think he’s looking to hire someone to train for it soon.”

“Awesome! I’ll talk to him about setting up a timeslot when we’re done eating then. Just get that done.” Kaito decided, pretty pleased with that. “It might take me a bit, so if it takes me awhile to get back to the room...sorry? I’ll be quiet getting back in if anyone’s asleep. Shuuichi! You’re sleeping with me and Kokichi now, right?” 

Shuuichi, who was maybe a little more worried about Kaito talking to Byakuya, nodded after a moment, lost in his own head, trying to work out all the possible consequences to a conversation like that. It might be…fine? Or a disaster. But maybe fine. It really depended on Byakuya’s mood more than anything. Hopefully he was distracted with the dumpster fire that was Luminary right now, and didn’t have too much time or energy to ask Kaito about…stuff and things.

“Yeah” Shuuichi said, nodding somewhat shyly at that. “I hope it won’t be too crowded with me sleeping there more...permanently now? For now, I mean...”

“Are you kidding? That bed is huge. It could fit all of us.” Kaito sighed with a small roll of his eyes and a chuckle, “And I’m really, really looking forward to it! Time with my boys! Then tomorrow me and Shuuichi will get up, get Shuuichi his pollen, train with Tim and then take him to school-”

Shuuichi shook his head. “...I don’t take the stickers anymore...I know they’re placebos,. Maki and Seiko told me three days ago. I’m...I’m okay.”

“Oh...that’s amazing Shuuichi! I’m so proud of you, bud!”

Shuuichi smiled, but it was a tired smile as he said, “Thanks, Kaito. I mean, I suspected for awhile now, but...it was just getting kinda silly this last week. And, I don’t feel that bad anymore anyway. Don’t know if that’s the medicine or time or what, but….yeah. I’m good.”

Really, Kokichi didn’t know how he had been sleeping alone in that bed all these years. It just felt...way too big. Cold. Lonely. But with each Kaito and Shuuichi in turn, it had finally felt comfortable. And with both of them? Kaito wasn’t exaggerating--the bed was plenty big for all of them to sleep well even not pressed together, though Kokichi had a feeling that was how they’d end up. 

He was actually kind of looking forward to bedtime. 

Kokichi gave Shuuichi an encouraging smile as he updated Kaito with one other new piece of news. He knew that if Shuuichi knew there wasn’t any pollen in them then they wouldn’t be placebos any more, but it was still...really strong of him to stop taking them. To get that confirmation and really, truly be off them. He wasn’t expecting Shuuichi to be totally fine now, especially when they’d apparently be seeing some pregnancy symptoms sooner rather than later, but--

Oh!

Kokichi straightened, quickly swallowing his latest mouthful as he made urgent eye contact with Shuuichi. “Shuu-chan! My dad--ah, Ikuo, not Aiichi--told me he wanted to get you some stuff for the pregnancy. He wanted to know if you’d be okay with that?”

Shuuichi looked curiously over at Kokichi, before putting his hand over his stomach, having almost forgotten...running his fingers over that small, stiff mound. “...yeah, of course.” Shuuichi said, giving Kokichi a shy look. “Do you know what he wants to get me, or...I don’t really know what I need. I need to set up an appointment with that OB Seiko told me abou-”

“I’m on that. Don’t worry about it.” Maki said easily, scratching at her neck idly. “Expect to have an appointment at the end of the week.”

Shuuichi relaxed slightly, nodding. “Kay. Thanks Maki.”

Kokichi laughed lightly, twirling a bit of his hair. “Not really? He just got really excited when I told him. I think he’d bankrupt himself getting stuff for you if he had no restraint--he’s worried about crowding you, since, well...you guys don’t really know each other. But I know he helped take care of my mom when she was pregnant, so I know he has experience. I think most of what he was talking about is stuff to help you keep comfortable?”

Kokichi shrugged, returning to his meal before giving a slightly hesitant look to his lovers. “I...know he’s only my dad, but...would you guys be okay with him being, like, an honorary grandpa or something?”

“Are you kidding! That’d be an honor! Seriously, that’s great, Kokichi!” Kaito exclaimed, before looking over at Shuuichi, “Right?”

Grandpa? Right, right...because Shuuichi was about to be a dad. Because so was Kokichi. Kaito kinda already was one. Or, he guessed no ‘kinda’ about it. Shuuichi kept getting confused every time he heard Timothy call Maki ‘mom’. 

“...are we all related now?” Shuuichi mused.

“....I did say all I needed was for you to be officially claimed.” Maki said, mostly talking to Kokichi at this point. “A notice to an entire kingdom claiming you...probably counts.”

“What are you talking about, Maki?” Kaito asked, confused on her cryptic statement.

Maki shrugged, finishing her food. “Just talking about being Kokichi’s sister-in-law. Yours too, I guess. Ugh. Kaito. If I ever hear you call me sis, I will actually vomit.”

Kaito laughed at this...before wincing. Thinking of their last year in high school “Okay, but actually, Maki-roll? Agreed.”

“I like the idea of Ikuo being a grandpa. It’s a nice idea.” Shuuichi agreed.

Kokichi relaxed, eased by Kaito’s enthusiasm, like he usually was by it. He and Ikuo had agreed on the matter, not wanting to just...insert themselves somewhere, but hearing that they were accepted? It was nice, and Kokichi knew his dad was going to be over the moon. 

And while Kokichi brightened at Maki’s acceptance… One day. One day he’d properly ask Shuuichi to marry him, of course after asking Kaito and, really, more likely than not, racing each other to get their proposals in. 

Kokichi smiled a bit to himself at that thought. At that future. But for now...there were too many pressures, and their relationship was too new. Hell, his relationship with Kaito was still too new but...they were all sticking together. And they’d figure it out. 

...because they were family. Kokichi looked around their group. His boisterous, prideful husband, his reserved, curious boyfriend. His passionately caring sister-in-law (one day on paper). And his little trickster nephew. 

...he had always wanted a big family. 

Smiling gratefully, appreciatively at them all, Kokichi beamed at Shuuichi. “I’ll let him know, then. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him leave a basket filled to the brim with stuff even tomorrow.”

Shuuichi smiled lightly at that, feeling a little embarrassed, but..it’d be nice to have anyone who knew what to actually expect helping him out. God knows he had no idea what he was doing. “Thanks, Kokichi...that sounds nice.”

Kaito yawned. “Everyone finished with their food? There’s a lot going on tomorrow. Tim needs to go to bed, and I need to go run my errand in time to tuck in my guys.” Kaito said, winking at Kokichi. 

Maki stood up, “Tim, help me collect everything. Including the blankets that definitely showed up about forty minutes ago. We’ll put it all away.”

“I’ll help, Maki. You can drop me off at the princes’ room on your way to your room, right?” Shuuichi asked, getting up to collect trash and blankets.

Maki considered Shuuichi… before saying, “Okay. Me and you need to talk about something anyway.”

“Uh oh. Am I in trouble?” Shuich said dryly, following Maki, Tim at their heels, “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Just want to touch base with you on the...never leaving you alone stuff...maybe it’s time to re-evaluate that.” Maki said to him, the three walking off.

Kaito grinned warmly at them, before looking over at Kokichi. “You okay going upstairs all on your lonesome? I doubt I’ll be long.”

Kokichi stretched as he got up, the meal sitting well with him though he only started eating long after the others had. He didn’t eat when he was upset, huh? Well...hopefully there would always be a silver lining to bring his appetite back. 

As they were left alone, Kokichi’s gaze softened and he took a step forward to give Kaito a light hug. “I’ll be okay--I wanna make a stop and talk to Ikuo anyway. But...I’m really happy you’re okay, Kai-chan. That you’re willing to be here, that you’re willing to make things work with me. It means a lot...to a lot of people, but to me especially.”

...if Kaito really was going to set up an appointment to talk with his brother, what he said, along with bookending it with other things would’ve been the way he’d say it. However...the expected nervousness wasn’t there. The type of stress Kokichi had come to expect when Kaito talked about Byakuya personally. So...the fact that he could just say the words, but still tried to bury it?

...Kaito was lying about what he wanted to do. 

...but Kokichi trusted him. To not hurt himself, to not hurt others. And if he was promising to make it to bed that night…

Kokichi smiled sweetly up at his husband before pouting. “I love sleeping with Shuu-chan, but I’ve really missed sleeping with you. And I can’t even tempt you into extended morning cuddles since you’re taking Tim to school, so I’m staying up no matter what to get in my Kai-chan sleepy-time cuddles.”

Turning, back to a smile, he gave Kaito a wave, trusting his husband to be alright. “I’ll see you there.”

Kaito waved back with a grin, promising, “Alright babe, I won’t keep you up too late! Be there soon!”

…

He’d be quick.

He could be quick. How long could it take? He just...wanted to...he knew he was being sent away soon. Banished. The only reason he wasn’t gone already, according to the guard Kaito had talked to earlier that day, was that no one could figure out if he was being banished to Luminary or Danganronpa, as he was being deliberately difficult in establishing which place he was actually from.

...he’d be quick.

Kaito quickly moved to the guards headquarter for the castle, knocking on the door, hoping desperately the guard who had told him Togami could see visitors would just be the one that opened the door, so that Kaito wouldn’t have to waste any time trying to negotiate the privilege with anyone else who might be...feeling certain ways about him. Come on, come on, come on…

Katsuki had been in something of a pickle. She had wanted to keep watching the west wing rooms at night--and she had. No breaking code when it came to the agreement with Maki. But...she was set for guard duty for their prisoner...more shifts than usual. She had heard that many of the other guards found their prisoner unsettling, and didn’t want personal feelings to compromise their treatment of him. So, it was left to her. 

Now, though, she was waiting for her nighttime relief, feeling...oddly, a little anxious to get back up to her perch. Kaito was out of the medical wing now, cleared by Dr. Kimura. He was reported to have a handle on his actions now, given back his freedom. Something he wouldn’t use to hurt Kokichi. 

...she regretted not being there. Not acting upon her mission in that local. 

There was a knock on the office door, and Katsuki quickly got up to answer it, assuming it would be the nighttime shift. And, to her surprise…

“Prince Kaito Momota. Congratulations on your release from the medical wing. What business do you have here?”

Kaito grinned wide, trying to think quickly. “Katsuki! Not...who I was expecting, but great! Thank you so much, it’s great to be out! You look great! Your suit looks...pressed!” he observed, trying to work out in his mind if this was a bad thing or not. Katsuki wasn’t...bad or anything. She just wasn’t all there either. Or, maybe it was easier to say she was always all there? It was hard to trick someone who didn’t seem to...really think about stuff.

Also, he didn’t need to trick anyone! Togami was allowed visitors! That’s what the other guard had said! Kaito...was technically allowed to see him! No one had said he couldn’t! He wasn’t doing anything wrong! 

So, with that confidence, he said, “I know it’s getting late, but I was told castle prisoners could receive visitors up to ten pm? Do you think you could get me in in time to talk to Togami for a bit?”

With a sharp nod, Katsuki turned to lead the way. “I will remain outside the door for the duration of the visit, and if you need anything or feel threatened by the person you are visiting, simply shout or knock on the door, and I will deescalate things. Given the intelligence that Mr. Togami can mimic voices, every twenty minutes I am required to check in on both your well-being in lieu of expecting a response through the door. Other than that, you two may have your privacy.”

The short explanation took them to the holding cell Togami was being kept in. A secured office with bars both on the inside and outside of small windows and a reinforced door with several types of locks. But...other than that, it was a nice room. Sparse, but pleasant. A bed, a protected mirror, a few padded chairs, a small table. 

Oftentimes any prisoners that they had to hold were either being visited by lawyers or family members, and while the cell was secured, it was not meant to be imposing. 

Katsuki knocked firmly twice on the door. “Mr. Togami. Prince Kaito Momota is requesting a visit. Do you accept?”

Togami, mentally, had been literally thousands of miles away right now, having a somewhat intense conversation with someone that, thankfully, could be safely, if rudely, ignored as he heard in the distance the name ‘Kaito’ come up in the other body. 

Returning to Dicea, Togami blinked, getting readjusted, before saying loudly, “Yes, yes, of course. It’s about time honestly.”

Kaito grinned. A weird, intense flutter running through his stomach.

“Understood. Please standby.”

As was protocol, Katsuki blocked the view of her unlocking the door from Kaito’s view, bracing herself before opening it to let Kaito in. Mr. Togami had not tried to escape thus far, but you always had to be prepared. 

“Please enter, sir. I will check in on you both in twenty minutes. Please keep visiting hours in mind.”

And, once Kaito had cleared the doorway, Katsuki shut the door, only locking two of the bolts, making it easier to get in quickly if needed, but keeping a good deal of the reinforcement. 

Kaito quickly moved inside, saying brightly to Katsuki, “Thanks, Katsuki! Appreciate ya!”

Togami watched Kaito give the guardsman a quick wave as the door closed, sighing as he got up from the bed, crossing his arms and stretching his back a little, this body not having really moved all day. As he adjusted, Kaito watched him from the door, a mixture of nerves and...look, to call it what it was? Elation in his face, as he grinned at Togami.

“....you’re really alive.” Kaito whispered, taking a few steps towards him. “Really. You’re really, really here…”

Togami put his hand up as he saw Kaito approach him, giving the red head a long, tired look...before huffing. “Kaito. Sit down at the table. Before you do something you’ll regret…”

Kaito froze at that, not really...sure what he had moved towards Togami for. But, it was...it was so immediately like old times. There was something so immensely reassuring in...Togami’s just no-nonsense approach to this. Like he already had this whole visit figured out, despite the fact that Kaito had just showed up out of nowhere a week later. He felt another rush of excitement and affection rush through him, along with a new bout of nerves as he nodded, going to take a seat at the table, Togami watching him do this...before sighing again. Going to sit on the other chair.

The two sat there for a moment, Kaito not sure what to say, Togami...just thinking of his choices...like he had been for a week now. Not a week alone, gods no. He hadn’t had a moment alone since the failed kidnapping, Flora constantly requesting his presence to talk to him about what happened, either on the queens behalf or trying to help Togami with his new predicament. Togami was desperately, desperately trying to protect Kaito from the fallout of his total failure...to negotiate with the queen no further actions against him.

It was still very touch and go. And having Kaito here, right in front of him…

Knowing this would be a test of his resolve, Togami huffed, giving Kaito a disappointed look. “You keep saying that. I know for a fact that you weren’t referring to my disappearance as a murder to anyone, Kaito. I know for a fact that you would tell anyone who would listen to you for five minutes all about my ‘betrayal’. So, now that I’ve shown up, why the revelation that I’m alive?”

Kaito looked down at the table, nerves running through him. This wasn’t...what he had come here for. He had wanted to question Togami, not the other way around...but, again...it was so immediately like old times…

Unable to help himself, Kaito laughed, the sound nervous and a little shamed as he said, “...there was always a part of me that thought...that maybe the letter had been a fake? That maybe...Byakuya came back the very next day. I thought that was...a weird coincidence and...a part of me always wanted to believe that maybe...maybe you hadn’t left me…” Kaito admitted, thinking of the breakup letter that he had come back to find on his bed, after waiting…”I waited all night for you to come back with the carriage.” Kaito told Togami, this time the words not an accusation. More just...trying to reassure the man. To explain himself. “I waited until the sun rose, and people started asking me what I was doing by that road… I waited. And when I saw the note, my first thought was...that you wouldn’t...that you’d never…”

Kaito frowned, reserving his courage as he asked, wanting to ask his question. “If you’re not dead...then the letter was real? You…” Kaito grit his teeth. Grasping his knees. “...you got tired of me? I was just a game you were playing?”

Togami blinked at the red head...not sure what he should say. He had thought, fantasized, even, about telling Kaito about the betrayal of his friends. How Maki had tried to murder him. How Shuuichi had reported what was happening to his brother, and forged a letter in his handwriting. He reveled in the idea.

...but now Kaito was in a strange land without very many personal allies, and Togami...was trying very, very hard to leave him here and….

“Does it matter?” Togami decided, giving Kaito a raised eyebrow. “I had to leave. That’s all that matters from back then. But, if you’re asking me if I left willingly...no. I’m insulted you’d ever think I would.”

“...did you write that letter?”

“No.” Togami said. Adding, “But, I never corrected it either. It served a purpose. I...do regret how it was worded. You didn’t deserve to be left feeling toyed with. Our relationship wasn’t a game to me, Kaito. You can be assured of that.”

“...I don’t have a lot of time…”

”You can visit me more later.”

“...I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

Togami considered the red head...before nodding. Looking resigned. “No, it probably wouldn’t be. Fine. What else did you want to know Kaito? Ask your questions, then go return to your husband. No need to complicate things with unnecessary attachments with me. Especially with a baby on the way.”

Then, after a moment...a soft, “Congratulations, by the way.”

Kaito grinned at him, eyes...wet. Hard even being around him as he said, so incredibly grateful for that olive branch, “Thank you...I missed you.”

Togami sighed. “Kaito-”

“Why didn’t you come back for me? If it wasn’t a game?”

“I told you. I had too-”

“Later. Why didn’t you come back later? A year later? Four years later? Three months ago?” Kaito asked, digging his nails into his leg. “Why did you wait until now!?”

“...I was trying to love you Kaito. In the way I thought was best. In a way that kept me...my trying to take you away last week was a moment of weakness.” Togami admitted. Having had time to think about it now. Knowing that, while he couldn’t see a good answer to this predicament, giving into the queens ideas hadn’t been it. “We can’t be together. It’ll only end in misery.”

Then, thinking of something the Dicean prince had said...Togami asked, “Would you have come with me?” he asked. “If I had asked?”

“Three months ago?”

“Last week.”

“...” Kaito looked at the table. “...no.”

Togami sighed...before nodding. 

“Then that’s all there is to it. Kaito...it’s good to see you looking healthy. I’m happy your marriage appears to be going well, and...again, congratulations on the child. I’m sorry you ever saw me. I...I will do my best that you’ll never see me again.”

“Why!?” Kaito demanded, eyes widening at that, an ache at that idea. “Why? Stay! They’re weird here! You could probably literally just ask to stay and they’d let you! Stay! Forget about the Remnants! Forget about Luminary! Stay! You should stay!”

Togami considered Kaito...before smiling warmly at him. The gesture exasperated, but incredibly fond. “...I’ll never find another one like you...not in a million years...enough.” Togami said, looking away. A finality in his tone. “Go, Kaito. We’re done.”

Kaito wanted to argue...but he didn’t know what he was arguing for. He wanted Togami to stay. He wanted him to stay so badly...but for what? To leave Kokichi? Shuuichi? 

...it was a fight with no good goal. Just Kaito being pushed by old, painful feelings. He couldn’t even think of anything else to say. He had wanted to say so many things. To demand more answers. To call Togami names. To tell him he had fucked half the kingdom just to spit on his memory. That he had never been Togami’s. That he hadn’t owed him anything. That he hated him.

And instead? He just wanted to hold him. Beg him to not go again. To stay. To be there for him again...painfully in love. But knowing that love couldn’t...shouldn’t go anywhere.

He had Kokichi. He had Shuuichi.

Kaito stared at Togami, heart aching...before nodding. “Kay.” he said, getting up. “...bye Togami.”

Togami said nothing. He didn’t even watch him leave as Kaito knocked on the door. Feeling low and stupid as he asked to be let out.

“Please stand by.”

Katsuki opened the bolts and then the door, waiting for Kaito to exit before, just like letting him in, she blocked sight of the locks as she secured them once again. Her relief had come in while Kaito had been talking with Togami, so she was now free to go, her last duty in the office of making sure Kaito left the cell now completed. She could just leave. 

But instead she gave the prince her usual earnest smile. “Thank you for being considerate of visiting hours. I have just completed my shift--would you like me to walk you upstairs if you have no other business?” She left a pause before offering him a slightly softer smile. “I am heading in that direction regardless, so I thought to offer to accompany you. I have no mission to observe your movements.”

“Ha!” Kaito chuckled, genuinely amused by the need for that addition, embarrassed to have to use the bottom of his palm wipe a few sudden tears from his eyes, feeling a burning desire to go back into the room. To not leave it at that. To not let Togami out of his life again...but...to what end? He didn’t know… “We do ask people to watch each other a lot, don’t we? Guess that’s just good ol’ Luminary paranoia kinda...doing its thing.”

Walking with Katsuki, Kaito, a little lost in his head due to a weird, sudden grief, along with being around someone he was sort of familiar with, sort of friendly with, went on to say, musing aloud, “ Well, maybe it’s not just Luminary paranoia that inspires it...Diceans also seem pretty protectively paranoid too, honestly. But maybe that’s just because I primarily hang out with Kokichi...little guys the exact kind of person bad things seem to happen to. No wonder the whole castle went crazy trying to protect him from it…”

Fingers that went all the way around a thin, pale neck...wide, horrified, eyes, looking so confused and then so...betrayed…

That moment.  That brief, still strikingly wonderful moment where Kaito had looked at a future where he wasn’t Kaito anymore.

Togami just...appearing out of nowhere. Like a ghost. Telling Kaito it was time to go, taking away that freedom, that hope, in one fell swoop.

...Maki taking it away again…

...and now he was just here. Tied down. Not unwillingly. He knew he could go, if he still wanted to. No one would stop him. 

But...knowing he wouldn’t. Trapped into being Kaito because he was...well. He was Kaito. And Kaito didn’t leave...except for the one time he had tried to. And had lost his courage because Togami hadn’t come back, Kaito too afraid to make the journey alone. Missing, already, Togami’s strength. His courage...and reminding himself bitterly that Togami hadn’t had either of those things. Had left him. Had left him...and now was willingly leaving him again, after thoroughly sabotaging the second time Kaito had ever tried to leave.

There was no escaping being Kaito Momota. 

“...Katsuki? Could I ask you a weird, personal question?” Kaito asked, giving the taller guardsman a somewhat shy glance. “Are you happy with your life? Do you ever think about doing anything else?”