“They can’t all work for you, but I am gonna look up that first therapist more. Whatever her deal was, if that’s how she treats clients that’s not gonna roll,” Kokichi huffed before nodding at Kaito’s optimism towards Dr. Ford. Hopefully their sessions would go well, and hopefully Kaito would be able to confide in the doctor. 

Giving Maki a bright nod, Kokichi gestured to the items in his arms. “Yeah, you two have a good time! And if he’s interested, tell Tim I’d be excited to see him show off what you guys got?”

Setting his work off to the side, not planning on getting right to it, he took Maki’s place on the floor, smiling fondly down at Shuuichi before glancing up at Kaito, and then back to Maki. “Considering I get to spend time with some of my favorite people, I know I’m gonna have a good afternoon, at least.”

“Right, I’ll let Timothy know. Shuuichi, listen to Kaito and Kokichi.”

“No. I’m running away today,” Shuuichi said, staring blankly at the ceiling, “Gonna go find new drugs to get hooked on. Does Dicea have cocaine? Gonna figure out where to get some cocaine.”

“I will cut your nose to ribbons if you snort anything up there, ever. Kokichi, I noticed you skipped lunch, so I requested they send some leftover lunch up here. It should be here any minute. Eat it. Kaito…”

Kaito glanced over at her, giving Maki a somewhat exasperated grin. “Yeah, Maki-Roll?”

“...don’t fuck ‘em.”

“Why do you keep saying that!?”

“Because it’s fun how you react. See you all later,” Maki said, heading out the door and closing it behind her.

“...she’s gone mad with power. I’m telling you guys. We need to stage a coup,” Shuuichi muttered.

“After you’re better...then we mutiny,” Kaito agreed.

Kokichi sighed softly but nodded. He could eat, he guessed, but he just wasn’t that hungry. But everyone else really wanted him to eat, so he’d concede to their stronger feelings. Maki’s strongest feelings, really, though Kaito’s worry was a big factor in that case. 

He knew she just wanted to keep them healthy and safe but… Kaito’s was a joke, and, honestly, he’d feel pretty horrible having sex in Maki’s room. They could always go back to their room, but still. Most people got on Kokichi’s case for his eating habits, so that was nothing new, and it was sweet of her to ask for food to be sent up for him. And for Shuuichi… It was unfortunate that they really did have to keep a close eye on him, but constantly pointing it out...he couldn’t blame Shuuichi for getting testy with that either. 

Snorting a bit at Shuuichi and Kaito’s rebellion, Kokichi let out a dramatic sigh before flopping himself on the floor in a sort of arc around Shuuichi’s head. “Unfortunately, I cannot join your ranks, ‘cause literally yesterday I signed a contract saying that I have to heed Maki-chan’s safety advice. I shall have to cheer you on from the sidelines.”

“Actually, that’s a point,” Shuuichi said, twisting over onto his side and staring at Kokichi, concern in his gaze. “...what’s this about you being punished if Maki messes up?”

Kaito’s eyes widened from the bed, looking down at them. “What?”

“Mm, yeah, she was worried about that too when we were talking,” Kokichi hummed, not all that concerned despite his friends’ worry. He had thought that maybe it was just something from the program, but if Shuuichi and Kaito were alarmed too, then maybe it was a Luminary thing. “She’s my employee, so her actions are my responsibility, along with that how she conducts herself while on the job reflects back at me. So, if Maki-chan breaks a law while she’s working, we both receive the penalty. It’s a pretty standard relationship for Dicean businesses.”

“What she does on her own time is her business and responsibility, but in the name of work? Even if it was something I didn’t know about, her breaking the law would imply that I endorsed it, and so we both require the appropriate reparation efforts.” Kokichi propped his head up to look at both his lovers. “It’s to equalize the power relationship between employer and employee, and to avoid work abuse.”

Smiling softly, Kokichi shrugged a little, the movement kind of awkward since he was lying on the ground. “It’s not that I’m expecting that Maki-chan will never make a mistake, though it makes me really happy that she suggested doing this shadow with Lake-chan to learn the laws better, but I believe in her. So I’m willing to take responsibility and stand with her for her mistakes.”

“...look, I believe in Maki. I know she wouldn’t put you in danger on purpose...but she has a...temper,” Kaito pointed out, his hand subconsciously rubbing his throat a little. “What kind of punishments are we talking about, if she ends up attacking someone?”

“She doesn’t hurt me or Kokichi...I mean, we know she can hold back if she really wants to,” Shuuichi said, rolling back slightly to look up at Kaito on the bed.

“If she wants to. You think she’d want to hold back if someone hurt Kokichi?”

“If she knew doing more would hurt him more? ...I don’t know, honestly. Maki’s always been hard to predict.” Shuuichi sighed. “I want to have faith in her, of course...and I still really can’t believe this is all real, ya know? Maki has, like...rights? Built into a contract? I was reading the contract, and there’s all these clauses of her rights as an employee and that’s...so surreal…”

“Then that would be her choice,” Kokichi chimed in. Maki said that she wanted to learn. There might be hiccups, but that was what learning was about! He wasn’t asking her to never be angry or suspicious, or even to never want to hurt someone. He was asking her to be angry and suspicious in ways that wouldn’t hurt other people. He was asking her to choose to not hurt others even if she wanted to. That, if he was in danger, she could subdue the person attacking him without having to send them to a healer afterward. And he believed she could do it. 

Glancing to Shuuichi with a sad expression, Kokichi sighed before smoothing his face out. “...we’ve worked hard for generations to ensure the rights and freedoms of our citizens in every aspect of their lives. And we’re still working on it, and will likely keep working on it for generations to come. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was new legislation to put to a panel in the next few years.”

“...I hope one day it’ll be less surreal, and more expected to you, Shuu-chan,” Kokichi murmured with a soft smile, reaching out and laying his hand on the ground palm up, if Shuuichi felt okay holding his hand.

Shuuichi rolled over again, seeing the offered hand and reaching out, grasping it in his own…

...before groaning and letting go, rolling back onto his back. “Sorry,” he said, meaning it. “If I’m not lying perfectly flat, my body starts screaming at me. I’m falling apart, you guys. It might be time to put me out of my misery.”

“Don’t joke about stuff like that, Shuuichi, it freaks me out,” Kaito said, frowning at his boyfriend, before grinning bright, hopping off the bed and, careful to step over the two of them, crouched over Kokichi to look down at Shuuichi. Saying brightly to him, “And, I may have an idea for that! Kokichi has some stuff that’s literal magic, handsome. It’s some sort of muscle relaxer? We could try it on you, see if it helps?”

Shuuichi looked warily at that grin, recognizing it for what it was. Kaito was trying to talk around something. “Right...is it a tablet or...Dr. Kimura probably won’t want me mixing meds.”

“Not a tablet! Nope! It’s an oil!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...it would require you taking off your-”

“No.”

“Shuuichi! Hey, no, no, come on,” Kaito said, quickly hopping to the other side of Shuuichi as his boyfriend started to try to get up, Kaito lying down on top of him, trapping him there as Kaito looked down at him seriously. “Look, I want to be patient with you. I do. But not if you’d rather be in pain than do this, that’s where I draw the line. We gotta work through this, handsome.”

“Get off, Kaito,” Shuuichi grumbled.

“Nope.”

Shuuichi sighed. “Kokichi.”

Kokichi frowned in worry, not really upset that Shuuichi couldn’t hold his hand, but sad he was in pain. He didn’t know if Shuuichi’s back pain was from the withdrawal or other changes in his body, but...hopefully it was something they could do something about. 

(He didn’t want to ask if it was primarily upper back pain. Considering Shuuichi had had a panic attack last time...he didn’t want to bring up the possibility of him getting bras or corsets to support his chest and back yet.)

Sighing back, Kokichi sat up and gave Shuuichi a small smile. “...Kai-chan is really good at giving massages. He makes me feel like I’m melting into relaxation. And you’d be on your stomach, so we wouldn’t see anything. I love Shuu-chan’s body, every part, but if he’s really uncomfortable, we can look away while you take off your shirt and lie down.”

“Or...Kai-chan could just rub your lower and mid back under your shirt still? The massage oil might make your shirt feel a little sticky, but I’m sure it would make your back feel better.”

Leaning forward, Kokichi placed a kiss on Shuuichi’s forehead. “We love you, and if there’s something we can do to ease your pain and discomfort without hurting you? You can bet we’ll do everything we can for our precious Shuu-chan.”

As Shuuichi looked up at Kokichi with soft, adoring eyes, Kaito looked between them and sighed. “Look, Kokichi can be the good guard, I’ll be the detective...does that saying cross the border? Anyway, look, Shuuichi. I can absolutely do your lower back. We can even close our eyes while you get undressed. Or? Or...we can rip this bandaid off. Just get this over with. It’ll be easier when it’s done. Because tip-toeing around your chest all the time? It’s just going to get worse the longer we don’t talk about it.”

“Like you’re one to judge,” Shuuichi muttered, turning a hard look at Kaito, “You wanna talk about the ‘political training sessions’ you assisted Byakuya with?”

Kaito winced, giving Shuuichi a slightly hurt look...before furrowing his brow. “You can’t go the rest of your life never taking your shirt off, Shuuichi.”

“Women manage it.”

“Women aren’t afraid to acknowledge their chests!” Kaito said, exasperated...before adding in, “Societies are afraid to acknowledge their chests. Admittedly. That’s a whole different thing. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, at least in private, women take off their clothes. And, I just...I don’t know! I don’t like that you’re afraid of yourself! And I don’t think ignoring it is making that go away!”

“...I’m a freak…”

“Nope! No, you’re not. Or, if you are? It doesn’t matter. I love you and think you’re incredible either way. I want to touch and hold and love every piece of you,” Kaito said, leaning down and kissing at Shuuichi’s collarbone, starting towards the shoulder and settling on the center of him, ignoring Shuuichi’s slightly annoyed look at him as he did so. “From top to bottom. I want to date all of Shuuichi...and I’m extremely curious how valid my new ‘small boobs, big dick’ kink is.”

Shuuichi grabbed his hat, lowering it over his face, which was openly annoyed, but also deeply flushed red. “Kaito!”

He held that position for a few seconds...before his shoulder suddenly spasmed, and Shuuichi had to lie flat again, whispering a disappointed, “Ouch…”

He was quiet for a moment, before sighing. “This oil will actually help? You guys are sure?”

Personally, Kokichi wanted to face difficult things directly. But if nothing else, his Luminaries had taught him that sometimes it just wasn’t a viable option. It might be viable now, but...Kokichi didn’t want to upset Shuuichi right now. 

But Kaito had a point. If not now, then, yeah, maybe later, but how much later was that later? Would Shuuichi avoid his chest forever? He had seemed to settle into his current size, but what if he grew more? What if he couldn’t roll his shoulders forward and hide under his shirts? Would Shuuichi completely destroy his back just...to refuse to acknowledge he had boobs?

Sighing, Kokichi gently reached over to smooth some of Shuuichi’s hair out of his eyes. “Everything Kai-chan said? Except for the kink part? I second. I love all of Shuu-chan, and I want to appreciate every part. Even if it happened because of an unusual reason, it’s not that uncommon for a guy to have boobs either. It doesn’t make you weird or freaky.”

He moved his hand down to rub gently at Shuuichi’s shoulder as it spasmed, giving his boyfriend a half-shrug. “The oil helps me a lot. Sometimes my body aches all over and it feels like I can barely move, except not moving still hurts too. The last time that happened, though, Kai-chan gave me a massage with that oil, and I felt okay! I could relax, and I wasn’t in pain. If it could do that for me, I’d say it’s worth a shot seeing if it can help you out too.”

“Why can’t you support my weird, extremely specific kinks, Kokichi? Why do you gotta leave me out in the wind like that?” Kaito muttered, resting his head on Shuuichi’s collarbone, able to feel the ‘problem spots’ in question against himself, looking up at Shuuichi quietly now. He had already given his argument, and Kokichi had seconded, but had still offered a bunch of alternative ideas in the beginning. Anything more than this would be unreasonably pushing. So...Kaito waited.

Shuuichi sighed, enjoying the feeling of Kokichi rubbing at his shoulder a little, and the way he touched his hair...and he wasn’t going to lie. He hurt. The idea of Kaito’s strong hands working out some of the knots in his back actually really did sound amazing…

...he wanted to say fuck it. That he didn’t care...but he still did, kinda. His body made him feel gross for...a lot of reasons. The version of Miss Nao he had in his head was currently laughing at him. Whispering that this was just Kokichi trying to get a laugh at the freak and Kaito trying to get his rocks off at Shuuichi’s expense. Stupid, dumb whore... which in itself was stupid. He knew that wasn’t true. Well, Kaito probably did want something to happen, but not at Shuuichi's expense. But the fact that he knew it was irrational didn’t make the fear go away…

...maybe nothing would ever make the fear go away…

“...nothing’s going to happen, Kaito. I don’t think we should sleep together in Maki’s room.”

“I don’t think we should have sex while you’re in pain, thank you very much. And this is basically your room now too.”

“...yeah, I know...but that can’t be a forever thing…”

“Do you want to go back to your old room when this is all done?”

“...” Shuuichi’s eyes burned slightly. Lost in memories that felt less and less good the more he got sober. Memories that burned him with shame and fear. “...not really.”

Kaito saw his eyes wet and sighed, kissing at his collarbone again. “We’ll figure that out later. You don’t have to go back to your old room, and you won’t stay in Maki’s room forever. There’s other rooms. It’s fine. Let’s deal with today's problem, kay? Your back?”

“...if you guys laugh at me? Like, even jokingly? I’m actually going to start crying. Okay?”

“No laughing, promise.”

“And don’t stare too much.”

“Can I stare a little bit?”

“Kaito.”

“It’s gonna be fine. You’re gonna do it and wonder what you were so afraid of. It’s gonna be fine.”

“...fine, whatever,” Shuuichi said, sounding defeated. “Someone help me up and let's go to the bed, I’m not lying on my front on the floor.”

“On it!” Kaito said, getting up and moving to just straight up pick Shuuichi up. It took more of a heft and grunt than it did with Kokichi, but Kaito managed, much to Shuuichi’s shock.

“I said help me up! Not pick me up!”

“We are way past that now.”

“I’m not as horny as you are, Kai-chan. I can accept your kinks without being into them myself,” Kokichi scoffed right back. Personally...Kokichi didn’t care much one way or the other about Shuuichi’s boobs. They were kind of nice to sleep on, and he was hoping one day Shuuichi would be more comfortable so he could pleasure his boyfriend there too, but whether Shuuichi was flat, ripped, or had Ds, Kokichi didn’t have much of a preference. He just wanted Shuuichi to be comfortable with himself. 

And his cock? Mostly Kokichi was just disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to fit it in his ass and couldn’t open his mouth wide enough to properly blow him. But none of that was disappointment in Shuuichi. 

Listening to his lovers talk back and forth, Kokichi got up from the ground himself. It would be very easy for Shuuichi to get a different room. Though...selfishly, he wished that Shuuichi would one day want to spend a good chunk of time in their room, and maybe would even sleep there more often than not. It was important for him to have his own space, especially after this, but...he just really liked being around his boyfriend, alright? He was allowed to yearn for his company privately. 

Kokichi snickered a bit as Kaito picked Shuuichi up and he sat on the edge of Maki’s bed, patting the middle of it for Kaito to set their boyfriend back down. “Shuu-chan, Kai-chan picks me up all the damn time. He’s used to it now. Grabby hands and impromptu kisses--they’re in your future.”

“You guys make that sound like a bad thing. I’m six feet tall. You know who can pick me up? Giants. That’s it. You see any giants around? Let me live vicariously through you,” Kaito insisted, putting Shuuichi down, who sat up, turning his head one way and another, trying to pop the muscles there and ease the ache a little.

“Kaito, I'm not that much smaller than you. I’m 5’7.”

Kaito took both hands and guided Shuuichi’s face to himself, giving him a little kiss as he said sweetly, “My itty bitty lovers.”

“Whatever.” Shuuichi sighed, trying to crack his neck again before giving up, glancing at the bottle that Kokichi had brought up, assuming that was the oil they were both going on about. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Shuuichi grasped the top button of his shirt, hesitated...then popped it off. Something determined on his face.

Then he went to the next one, right after. Pop.

The next one after that. Pop pop.

Then...he froze.

He kept his hands on the top part of his button up shirt, keeping the tops parts he had unbuttoned closed, and rolled his shoulders forward, moving his whole body forward slightly too. A tense, suddenly pale look on his face.

His hands trembled.

...he stayed like this for awhile, frozen with indecision, before glancing up at his lovers, who were both watching him. Embarrassed, he looked away, annoyed at his own fear. Stupid fucking freak...what a burden on them...god, what a waste…

“…Kaito?” Shuuichi finally said, his shoulders dropping a bit. Ashamed of himself. “Could you take it off for me? I don’t think I can.”

“Mmhmm!”  Kaito said, giving an excited, pleased grin at the idea, immediately moving towards Shuuichi, who gave him an exasperated look. It was both obnoxiously horny and also reassuringly casual, though Shuuichi pushed Kaito back a bit when the redhead immediately started to try to kiss his neck.

“No, we discussed this, Kaito. Don’t get yourself excited, it’s not happening,” Shuuichi said, smiling slightly at Kaito’s overly dramatic groan of disappointment.

“It’s terrible. My handsome boyfriend doesn’t want me to touch him. My beautiful husband doesn’t want me to touch him. And now I have a sexy therpaist too. Why does Atua tempt me so much?” Kaito said, running his hands up and down Shuuichi, kissing at his cheek.

“Your therapist is sexy? What?” Shuuichi glanced at Kokichi. “Is he ‘actually’ sexy, or ‘Kaito’ sexy?”

“Why do you say that like there’s a difference?” Kaito said, moving his hands deftly. Keeping Shuuichi’s gaze on him with a new kiss every time his eyes started to drift down.

“Kaito, I once saw you very sincerely call an old woman with thinning hair and a stroke mouth ‘Hot stuff’. She didn’t even believe you were talking to her till you went and tapped her on the shoulder.”

“Mrs. Kerty? She was a really good physics teacher! She was so patient and helpful!” Kaito said, kissing at his jaw, pushing his head up a little when it dipped too low.

“That makes her a nice old woman, Kaito. It doesn’t constitute ‘hot’. Would you stop that? I asked you to take off my shirt, not make out with me. Could we just do that?”

“Already did it, handsome.” Kaito said simply, kissing his ear and then, bracing for the reaction, leaning back. Shirt already in his hands.

Shuuichi gave him a confused look, before glancing down- “Oh fuck!”

He immediately wrapped his arms around his chest, face beet red, eyes wide with alarm. “How??”

“It’s my superpower. Can do it to bras too,” Kaito said, tossing the shirt off the bed, to Shuuichi’s immediate distress.

“No, no, pick that up!”

“Sure. After your massage,” Kaito promised, looking Shuuichi up and down, before blushing slightly and smiling. “You look really cute, by the way.”

Shuuichi ducked his head under his hat and groaned.

“Fuyuji-chan picked you up,” Kokichi pointed out. “And he was carrying me and Tim at the same time too. And I bet Miss Sakura could pick you up no problem too. But if it’s down to affectionate carrying, I think I would rather you live vicariously through us, hun.” Kokichi laughed softly, keeping up his cheer as Shuuichi started to unbutton his shirt, looking his way but not focusing on his chest. Shuuichi’s face was more interesting anyway. 

Though, when he asked Kaito to take over, Kokichi glanced over to his husband with a puzzled look, though he was distracted for a moment. “Dr. Ford is good-looking, but he doesn’t really do anything for me, so I think it’s some of both.”

Hopping off the bed, his brow still furrowed in confusion, Kokichi collected Shuuichi’s shirt and draped it over Maki’s desk chair before turning and looking over Shuuichi fondly. When he returned to the bed, he leaned in to press a kiss on the top of Shuuichi’s hat and said, “Shuu-chan is very, very cute, but you know what he also looks like? Just a normal guy. One that’s hotter than average and that makes me feel all smug that you wanted to date me, but Shuu-chan is decidedly a human. Sorry, honey pie, but I’m afraid you have a body.”

“...and I’m not lookin’ to start anything, since Shuu-chan needs that back massage and we’re on Maki-chan’s bed, but…” Kokichi looked over to his husband, the confused expression back, “...when did I ever say I didn’t want you to touch me?” 

Kaito glanced over at Kokichi, something mildly ashamed flashing through his face, before turning to grab the bottle, pouring out a little on his hands and rubbing them together as he laughed, shaking his head. “You didn’t. I was just trying to keep Shuuichi’s attention, that’s all. Was just saying whatever came to mind. Alright! Now take your sexy-ass body and lie down on the bed, Shuuichi! Massage time!”

Shuuichi nodded, looking down at the mattress and considering just plopping down, arms still around his chest...but he sighed, and just put his arms down, using them to lower himself down normally. He winced slightly at the feeling of the blanket against his nipples, the area still sensitive from growing so recently, but he felt better once he was lying down, crossing his arms over each other and resting his head down, letting his hat fall away at the angle.

“This stuff better be a miracle cure,” Shuuichi muttered, wincing as the muscles in his back suddenly panged again, roughly demanding his attention. 

“It’s gonna be half the stuff, half me, all miracle,” Kaito said cheerfully, starting with Shuuichi’s shoulder blades, moving the oil up and down the area softly at first, just spreading it around, before putting pressure in, smiling slightly at Shuuichi’s immediate, surprised little ‘hmmm’. There we go. Time to feel good and relax…

...Kokichi didn’t think that was it, but...they could talk about it later. Maybe he’d start something. He just...wasn’t all that riled up. They’d been traveling, and then the veterans had returned and there was no way in hell he wanted to do anything with the five of them in Maki’s room. But...it could be nice to make out a little. Get handsy. Help Kaito with some of his stress. 

But now it was Shuuichi’s turn! Kokichi settled himself at the head of the bed, watching fondly as Kaito started the massage and smiling a little more when he heard Shuuichi hum. 

“Hey,” he started, “I don’t wanna overwhelm you, but can I play with Shuu-chan’s hair? I don’t think the headaches you’re getting are tension headaches, but it could still feel nice, right?”

Shuuichi winced, taking a sharp breath when Kaito found a muscle knotted tight, just below his neck, closing his eyes for a moment while the muscle shouted at him, pissed at the pressure...but sighed in relief when Kaito kept going, undaunted, and the muscle loosened out, falling smooth, still aching slightly, but in a way that promised recovery. 

Swallowing hard as Kaito’s hands went searching again for the next knot, Shuuichi looked up at Kokichi, eyes softening again, as it usually did when looking at his smaller lover. “Course, Kokichi...it would feel nice, headaches or no…”

Besides, most of the headache had been eased by Seiko’s medicine last night. His brain still ached lightly, but it wasn’t the near-dizzying pain that it had been on and off yesterday and the day before. He closed his eyes as Kaito found another knot, in his mid-back. Sucking in a wince through his teeth as Kaito pressed.

Kokichi smiled and gently lifted Shuuichi’s hat, keeping it nearby unlike his shirt. He got the feeling Shuuichi used his hat to hide too (obviously) but...there was more to it than just that. Maybe he’d learn, maybe he wouldn’t, but he wasn’t going to separate Shuuichi from such a prized comfort object. 

Starting to card thin, cold fingers through Shuuichi’s silky hair, Kokichi mostly brushed it back out of his face, taking enjoyment in the action himself. And while he kept that up, after a moment he started to gently massage Shuuichi’s temples in slow circles, doing it more for relaxation than the actual work Kaito was putting into their lover’s back. 

This was...really nice. Lavishing love and attention on Shuuichi, Kokichi and Kaito working together to make their boyfriend feel good. In, like, a calmer way than fucking him. Kokichi liked sex, but...he loved the other intimate moments in a relationship too. Cuddles and massages and talking about books and hopes for the future… He’d had the idea for Kaito, but Kokichi really hoped Shuuichi would be down for fireside snuggles this winter too. Sipping hot chocolate...laughing when Chase would try to get under their blankets, Timothy chasing after her…

Kokichi’s gaze was soft and fond, losing himself a little in a daydream as he brushed through Shuuichi’s hair.

Shuuichi breathed deeply, feeling the muscle loosen under Kaito’s pressure, looking up at Kokichi, golden eyes looking calmer than they had looked in a long time.

As Kokichi rubbed at his temples and played with his hair, and Kaito hummed slightly, looking for more muscles that felt too tense, twisted too hard against him, Shuuichi felt his mind go blank for a little bit. For a little while. Just...feeling better…

And the first thought that went through his mind, when he felt like thinking again?

“...I’m sorry I’m so mean to you guys so often…” Shuuichi said quietly. Eyes reddening slightly. “...you both take care of me, every time...and I’m always just awful…”

Kokichi huffed a soft laugh, smoothing Shuuichi’s bangs back out of his face before they fell right back down. “Shuu-chan, your body is telling you that you’re dying. Take it from me--if there’s any reason to be grumpy and lash out at people, that’s a big one.”

“But things will get better,” he murmured, scooting back a little so he could place a kiss on Shuuichi’s forehead. “And because we love you, we’ll be here through all the bad days, and cheer when you have good ones. But I do appreciate the apology. I’ll just hope you’ll accept mine on my bad days.”

“I can’t imagine you having bad days…but of course I will…”

Kaito snorted. “Trust me, handsome, our ‘Kichi can have some rough days. And so can I. It’s fine, man. We’ll get through it. We always do...”

Shuuichi sighed. “Yeah...that’s true...we always make it…”

“Mmmhm,” Kaito said, finding another knot. It was large, almost the whole of Shuuichi’s lower back. Kaito put both hands together in the center of it and pushed down, using his whole upper body. Smiling at the pained little gasp from him, that evened out into another pleased hum when he moved his palm up, smoothing out the muscle. “And, not only that, but once we get to the other side, there’s always better things, right? Usually? We thought Dicea was gonna be one of those things. And look what we got on the other side? Maki has a job. We got Kokichi,” Kaito said, smiling over at his husband, “and Shuuichi...you’re still just getting to the other side of it, ya know? I bet things are going to just get better, once you’re sober…”

“Yeah?” Shuuichi said.

Kokichi smiled back at Kaito before giving Shuuichi a nod. “Yupp! Because the Harvest Festival is next month, and then you guys are gonna see what a real snowfall looks like, and you’ll get to have the best hot chocolate in the world, and we can go see that waterfall you were interested in, and you guys can teach me to swim, and we can stay up through New Years and give each other the good luck kisses, and once spring comes you guys will get to see your cacti in the garden and…”

“And Shuu-chan will be able to do what he wants and experience everything Dicea has to offer, because you’re a citizen.” Kokichi’s gaze softened, a little sad, but mostly hopeful. He wasn’t sure if bringing up the program would stress Shuuichi out again but...from how Shuuichi would sometimes talk, it was like he didn’t really believe he was out of it. That he and Maki and Tim were free. “Shuu-chan is a Dicean, and I’m excited to see you see what our kingdom has to offer. I’m excited for all of you to see that. And once you’re sober? Then even the restrictions that are on you now will go away.”

“Plus, I think it’ll be easier to convince Maki-chan to let you spend the night with us once you’re done with rehab. Personally, I’m looking forward to that a lot.”

Shuuichi smiled at that, uncrossing his arms and gently reaching out for Kokichi’s hands, grasping them from his temples and holding them. “...th-that’d be nice...”

“Yeah,” Kaito said, something tired in his voice. “It will be. I bet you’ll end up just like Maki. Find somewhere that can make use of your skills. You’re too good, Shuuichi. Once you’re settled and we can start telling people about all the cool things you can do? You’re gonna be fine.”

He started rubbing his hands up and down Shuuichi’s back, not feeling anything else fight him. Kaito thought about how often he did that. Looking for muscles fighting him…

…

“How do you feel, handsome? You good?” Kaito asked, taking a rest, sitting on the back of Shuuichi’s legs and sighing. 

“Mmmm. Yeah…thanks, Kaito. I actually really do feel a lot better. Thanks, guys…”

“No worries, Shuuichi…” Kaito smirked, looking down at him, winking at Kokichi. “I can do your front shoulders too, if you want?”

Shuuichi rolled his eyes, though not with any real annoyance this time. “Miss every shot you don’t take, Kaito?”

“Yeah! Basically!” Kaito responded with a bright grin, before again giving a purely theatrical sigh. “Fine. Let me go grab your shirt,” he said, pulling himself off Shuuichi’s legs.

Shuuichi sighed, rolling slightly on his side, still holding Kokichi’s hands. He pulled his hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles softly. “Thanks, Kokichi...I really do feel a lot better.”

It was a habit he was getting better at catching, realizing when he started shifting into business-mode. There were tons of places that would benefit from Shuuichi’s help. If he wanted to be an independent detective, or join an agency, or go into a totally different line of work that would benefit from attention to detail and intuition. He couldn’t exactly give Shuuichi a letter of recommendation, but...Kaito actually could. But he’d be happy to help Shuuichi find employment if that’s what he wanted. 

He’d be happy to help Shuuichi do anything he wanted with his life. 

Kokichi giggled a bit at the kiss to his hands, shifting around to lie on his side next to Shuuichi, giving his hands a little squeeze. “I’m glad we could do something that helped! Or, Kai-chan could, but I’m still happy to be here. Obviously I don’t wanna harsh your mellow, but would you mind if I got cuddly with you guys? I’ve missed you...and, no, last night and the night before that don’t count. Sleep cuddling is different from awake cuddling.”

“I’m cool with it,” Kaito said cheerfully, grabbing Shuuichi’s shirt and tossing it to him, Shuuichi reaching up to grab it and, giving an embarrassed glance to Kokichi, pulling it onto himself the best he could without flashing either of them. Honestly, Kaito hadn’t seen too much of his chest through all that, busy distracting Shuuichi from panicking by keeping his attention through kisses...but the bits he had seen? It honestly wasn’t as bad as he was sure Shuuichi was seeing in his head. He barely had A-cups, though they were still notably breasts.

Honestly? He had thought Shuuichi’s chest was incredibly sweet looking. Like the rest of his boyfriend. Sweet. Soft. Probably a lot of fun to play with, once Shuuichi actually felt like playing. Kaito liked them.

But as he saw Shuuichi get back into his shirt as quickly as he could? ...patience. One step at a time. Just taking the shirt off around them had probably been a huge step, it seemed to Kaito.

Shuuichi sighed when he was properly covered, feeling himself relax slightly. He then turned his attention to Kokichi, reaching out and pulling him into a hug, falling backwards with him. “I-” he said, kissing Kokichi’s forehead, “-am up to snuggling, yes.”

Kaito had a point about trying to normalize Shuuichi’s chest when they were together, but...he’d taken his shirt off. That was huge! So Kokichi cheerfully averted his gaze when Shuuichi sat up to put his shirt back on. 

That just made it a pleasant surprise when Shuuichi took him into his arms. Giggling, Kokichi wrapped his arms around Shuuichi’s waist and nuzzled into his shoulder delightedly before looking over at Kaito. “Victory! Dual snuggling time! Get over here, Kai-chan!”

Placing a sweet kiss on Shuuichi’s cheek, Kokichi reached out and made grabby hands over at his husband, a twinkle of affectionate mischief in his eyes. 

Kaito grinned at Kokichi’s invitation, giving his husband a raised eyebrow...but stood and looked for a second, just wanting to take them both in. He liked these moments, personally. His loves relaxed. Comfortable and happy. They looked...god, they were beautiful...Kokichi happy and excited and feeling confident, Shuuichi’s eyes already closed, holding Kokichi close, entirely at ease…

Kaito smiled. Moments like these made it all a lot easier, honestly. 

“Alright, alright. I’m coming. Make room, you two,” Kaito chuckled, crawling onto the bed, lying on the other side of Kokichi, running his hand through Kokichi’s hair a bit before kissing against his temple. Then, smirking slightly, he put his arm around Kokichi’s waist and pulled him away from Shuuichi a bit.

Shuuichi murmured something indecipherable, but his brow furrowed and he pulled Kokichi back.

“Tsk. Greedy,” Kaito teased, looking down at Kokichi with a smirk, “I must have a type, huh?”

Kokichi basked in Kaito’s warmth and the kiss given to him, enjoying having Kaito’s hand in his hair as much as he had enjoyed having his in Shuuichi’s. He had never been shy with physical affection growing up, always happy to hug Ikuo and to play around with the older kids that came to live in the castle during the admittedly infrequent spurts of freetime they had. But especially after Ikuo had left and he was left to his own devices more often except when he’d try to escape or try out new ideas...there just wasn’t anyone around for him to be affectionate with. He never thought he’d grown up touch-starved, but with how much he craved being around Kaito and Shuuichi, maybe he was wrong. 

Snorting as his lovers gently fought over him, Kokichi gave Shuuichi a nuzzle before winking back at Kaito, hooking an ankle around his leg. “Maybe...or it just takes one to know one. Or two in this case. Luckily Kai-chan has more than enough love to give back in return--he’s a great example to follow.”

Kokichi undraped one arm from around Shuuichi to lay it over Kaito’s arm, tracing his fingers and up to his arm, noting every little scar on the way. “...how’s your arm doing, by the way? Not hurting or anything?”

Kaito shrugged, looking down at it. “A little, but I think that’s more from being able to move it fully for the first time in a month more than anything actually being wrong. It’ll get better with some time and stretching, I think.”

“You shouldn’t let Maki spar you until you feel muscle developing again. She’ll snap it if she forgets herself,” Shuuichi murmured, shuffling down a little so that he could put his head against Kokichi’s collarbone. “Mmmm. Tell me if I’m heavy, Kokichi…”

“Maki wouldn’t…” --the sound of electricity-- “...she wouldn’t do it on purpose. But yeah. Maybe I shouldn’t spar Maki for awhile. Just until I’m back to zero, anyway.”

Kokichi smiled and went back to petting Shuuichi’s hair as he rested against him, able to shuffle around a little himself to be pressed against Kaito. Absolutely surrounded by his boyfriends, just lying together in a little bubble of affection. On their other friend’s bed while she took her and Kaito’s pseudo son out toy shopping, but rather than being weird, that was just...something else that was endearing to Kokichi. Maybe he was weird for thinking so, but that was fine with him. 

“Hmm… I think it would be a good idea to let yourself build muscle back up and get used to using your arm again, but hopefully by the time you’re back to zero, Maki-chan will have more experience in sparring without hurting your opponent. If she ever wants to train with any of the guards, that’s how they’re all trained to fight, after all… It’d be nice if you guys could spar without having to worry about accidents as much.” 

He remembered feeling sick and shocked when he had seen Kaito and Maki spar for the first time. Had seen her draw blood so early in...had been aiming to do so. They weren’t trying to kill each other, but it was still something of a shock, the harm intended in Luminous sparring. Normally when he watched the guards practicing or training new members, the worst anyone got was being helped as they limped after a match. Bruises, sure, maybe an accidental cut here and there. There was one incident of a broken nose that had everyone flocking to help the knocked down guard. 

Kaito and Maki were still alive and still best friends, so they knew each other’s limits, but...he would feel a little better if an accident during training meant getting an ice pack and not a trip to a healer. 

“Well, ya know...I mean, she’d never really hurt me. And I’ve never really hurt her,” Kaito said, not...well, okay, last time had been kind of bad. But! She had taken him right back to the house after, and there was a healer there, which she had known about. It wasn’t an accident, what had happened. It had just been a little more intense than usual. 

And Kaito didn’t really have room to complain...he understood why she did it. If he didn’t want things like that to happen, well, it was easy, right? Just…don’t rape your husband! Just don’t do it! What the actual fuck is wrong with you!?

Kaito swallowed hard, his throat suddenly feeling dry. He felt better after a couple swallows though, and felt himself calm down after a minute, running his fingers up and down Kokichi’s stomach. “So it’s fine, really. But, still, probably shouldn't be sparring in general for a little while...hey, did you get any work done today, Kokichi? I know you brought some with you. I don’t want to distract you if that’s something you have to do today.”

Shuuichi yawned, nuzzling his head into Kokichi’s shoulder. “I can…” another yawn, “...I can still look through some of those letters too, Kokichi. There may be some way I can help, if you’d like me to try.”

“Still…” he murmured, but didn’t actually argue the point. Just because they hadn’t maimed each other didn’t mean that taking a less harmful approach wouldn’t do them well. Just because you weren’t in agony didn’t mean you didn’t hurt. And...that might just be a matter of pride going forward but...he hoped his friends would hurt less now. Shuuichi, Maki, and Tim were free now. Maki and Tim didn’t have to kill people, and Shuuichi wouldn’t have to pass on information that would get people killed. Kaito was...still involved with his brother but...he hoped not seeing Byakuya every day would help. And with the others not being in danger, maybe Kaito could let himself relax. Not have to protect them all the time. And hopefully therapy would help. 

Kokichi sighed a little as he brushed his fingers through Shuuichi’s hair, turning his head to pout at Kaito a little. “I got a little done this morning and while you and Shuu-chan had your check-ups. And we just got comfy...I don’t wanna break for work yet--I took care of all the particularly time-sensitive stuff already.”

He had mainly just brought some work in case Shuuichi didn’t want to be touched...or talk...or do much besides sleep. But if his boyfriend was in a good mood, he wanted to spend time with him. And he had already claimed his intention to snuggle with Kaito for a while. 

“But...I would appreciate help, if you wanted to, Shuu-chan. Really...the thing that usually takes the longest is finding the right data and references for whatever someone’s written in about. When people send updates about what’s going on, that’s really easy, since it usually just needs to be archived… And sometimes people write in just to talk. I really love those letters. But when someone has a question or is requesting aid, it’s a loooot of research. I dunno what you’d wanna help with but...I wouldn’t say no to you giving it a go.”

Shuuichi shrugged, opening his eyes slightly to look up at Kokichi. “I don’t care. Whatever it is you want help with. I can research if that helps. And it’s not like I’ve got anything else to do. I literally just sit in whatever room Maki puts me in. If you threw books at me and said ‘find the mosquito reproduction rates in the last twenty years and compare it to the bull frog migration to see if there’s correlation’, I’d just be like...weird,” Shuuichi admitted, laughing lightly, “But sure. Got allll the time in the world right now.”

Kaito reached down, putting his arm around his shoulder and squeezing it a little. “I know you feel like you could do it right now, Shuuichi, but don’t ask for a workload you can’t keep up with, okay? I don’t want you trying to fight through nausea and exhaustion looking for mosquito boning facts.”

“Sure,” Shuuichi sighed, closing his eyes again, “Thanks for the support, Kaito.”

“Come on, man, that’s not what I mean-”

“No, no, I know it isn’t. Sorry, I didn’t mean to snipe. I know you’re just worried about me. I’d tell Kokichi if I couldn’t handle it...”

Kokichi smiled gratefully at Shuuichi though...Kaito had a point. “That would be a lot of help, so...how about you just let me know whenever you want to help? I could bring my work in here, or you could hang out in our room more, or whatever. And when you’re feeling okay? Then I can ask Shuu-chan if he minds studying the market trends of pumpkins from the last five years.”

Giggling softly, Kokichi kissed Shuuichi’s forehead. “Honestly, if you wanted to do the work, I’d love to hire you as a part time researcher...but since it’s a government job, it’s not as simple as what I offered Maki-chan. Would have to go through the whole interviewing process with Aiichi and Hideki...more of a hassle than asking my sweet boyfriend if he can find what pages have the information I’m looking for.” As long as Shuuichi wasn’t writing reports or letters back himself, it technically wasn’t administrative work. It was still a little sketchy, but if Shuuichi wanted to occupy himself with it? He’d at least let him try. 

In that vein, though…

Turning his head to look back at Kaito, Kokichi offered him a smile as well. “And if you wanted to join us, Kai-chan, you’re still welcome to. But we don’t have to talk about me trying to recruit everyone I know into work if you don’t wanna,” he tittered awkwardly. “I know it can be kinda boring when I talk about that kinda stuff.”

Kaito looked...notably uncomfortable with that idea.

He took his arm back and laid down on his back, offering Kokichi his bicep as a pillow as he did, now reaching down to run his hands lightly though Shuuichi’s hair, who made a small, content sound as he did so. Putting his other arm on his own stomach, he said, somewhat to the ceiling, “I mean...maybe I could...watch you all work for awhile? Ya know! Kinda...get a feel for it? Before I actually try figuring out any of those requests myself?”

So you all don’t end up having to go behind everything I do and fixing it.

“I mean, Shuuichi’s got a real head for that sort of stuff. I’m just...I mean, absolutely! Can totally try! Absolutely down for trying!”

“Kaito, you’re not stupid,” Shuuichi yawned, gripping Kokichi, somewhat tired, fighting off sleep. “You’re just impatient and rush through the work when you do it. Whenever Kaede and I could get you to slow down during studying, you always eventually got the material. You just didn’t want to sit down and learn it. But you can.”

“...it just takes such a long time…It doesn’t take you that long! You just read stuff and get it! I don’t know how you do it!”

“Yep. Clearly, I am just a genius. Sit and tremble at my terrible-” Shuuichi yawned again, “-power. I just remember stuff, Kaito, and study a lot of different things, which makes a variety of concepts easier to grasp for me. And you can improve your memory with practice. That’s all. It’s not magic.”

“...remembering stuff is hard,” Kaito whined.

“Most things worth doing take effort,” Kokichi hummed, nuzzling Kaito’s arm a bit. “But if you’re worried about starting out, then you can start with letters that Kai-chan’s already brilliant at! Uplifting people and being friendly!”

Kokichi started stroking Shuuichi’s back a bit as he smiled up at his husband, proud and admiring. “I’ve mentioned it, but when I say that people write into the castle just to talk, I really mean that. They talk about what they’ve been up to lately, or something cool that happened, or something they’re just excited to share with someone… It’s like they’re writing a letter to an old friend, but it’s to us with no preamble. So...we just write back in kind. Talk about our own days, thank them for reaching out, gush over whatever cool thing they wanted to talk about...just be someone’s friend for a little bit.”

“Honestly, I think you’re already more suited to that than I am.” Kokichi laughed softly as he turned his head to place a kiss on Kaito’s bicep. 

“Oh, yeah. I guess I saw some of that with the Atua letters,” Kaito remembered, thinking back to them. He frowned slightly. “I’m worried that I never got a letter back from one of them. They seemed...really depressed, honestly. Sad. Saying they were losing faith and wanted to talk to a member of the chosen family for reassurance. Then they asked me a bunch of questions. If I felt afraid or hopeless. What I would do if I felt like I needed help. Was I happy. I’m guessing they were looking to just get advice on what they should do without specifically asking for it. I tried to be as honest...well, I tried to be as optimistic as possible, and told them they could write me again if they wanted to. Never got another one though. I hope they’re okay.”

Shuuichi sighed softly, nuzzling Kokichi again...then opened his eyes, looking troubled. 

He sat up a little, resting on his elbow, looking at Kaito. “Someone wrote you a letter right after you got here, asking if you were afraid, what your options were if you needed help, and asked if you were happy?”

Kaito looked up curiously at him. “Yeah, but in a...like, ‘I’m asking for a friend’ kind of way.”

“...do you still have that letter?”

“Probably somewhere, yeah, I didn’t throw it out. Why, what’s up, Shuuichi?”

Shuuichi’s eyes had gone far away for a moment...before focusing, shaking his head. “Nothing. I just want to read it. I’m sure it’s harmless. We can do it later though,” he said, lying back down on Kokichi. Though, he said after a moment, “You should let me read your letters, Kaito.”

Kaito winced. “Aw, come on, man...is this about the fight I had with Maki? Nothing was in that letter! It was just Byakuya telling me some bad news, that was all. He was worried about me.”

“I wonder if I can bribe the mail room,” Shuuichi muttered.

Kokichi softly frowned. Kaito had told him about that letter, but...when Shuuichi explained it that way… Well...Kaito had responded in a friendly, helpful manner, and by then he...hoped he was happy. And if what he thought Shuuichi was thinking was right? ...Kaito shouldn’t be in trouble from that...right?

Sighing, Kokichi rubbed his hand along Shuuichi’s waist. “I doubt it, and reading someone’s mail without their consent is a felony here, Shuu-chan. And I know you’re thinkin’ ‘that’s only if I get caught’, but, like…”

He paused for a moment, trying to think through what he actually wanted to say. “...we worry about you too, Kai-chan. So...if you get a weird vibe from a letter? A second opinion can do nothing but help. And I’m not just talking about letters from your brother, as much of an ass he can be. Could be work letters, letters from friends, letters from people you’ve never heard of… We’re here for you. Just like you’re here for us.”

“Come on, he’s not an ass...he just...over-corrects,” Kaito said vaguely, waving his hand in the air like the explanation was in the ether somewhere. “And he loves me, ya know? I miss him.”

“Did you ever get an invitation to the funerals? When’s Princess-Consort Sayaka supposed to be entombed?” Shuuichi asked, looking to Kokichi now, his face carefully neutral. “Do you think you could get me some, mmm...I don’t know. Kaito, what’s a fancy kind of alcohol?”

“Champagne,” Kaito said, staring at the ceiling. “Also, careful, handsome. I tried to beat a man to death for that same thing.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about. Oh, actually, could you guys get me scotch? Maki likes scotch. I want to drink with her the day they’re entombed. For entirely unrelated reasons.”

“You can be kinda cruel sometimes, Shuuichi...besides, it’s probably already happened by now. I should check the mail room to see if the invitation ever ended up there. Byakuya did say I was getting one,” Kaito said, still staring at the ceiling, “Though, I wasn’t really going out of my way to look for it. Even if I hurried and went alone, getting there in time would probably be impossible for me. And it’s dangerous to travel alone right now. I was planning to not go regardless.”

“I still want to get scotch and drink with Maki for a bit...she’s probably not gonna let me though. Mixing medicine and alcohol, ya know?”

“Did you know our Kokichi did drugs?”

Shuuichi barked a laugh, opening his eyes and looking up at Kokichi again. “What?”

“You can love someone and still think they’re an ass,” Kokichi carefully said, aware that Kaito hadn’t actually said that he loved Byakuya, but...still. “I mean, just look at Aiichi. He’s an idiot dickhead, but I still love him.”

Kokichi sighed softly at Shuuichi’s open resentment, but...as long as Kaito could cope with it, it was alright. It was different since he hadn’t been directly hurt by Kaito’s parents, but he still wasn’t thrilled with the things they’d done. Still, though, celebrating someone’s death, especially murder, was...a bit far. He...likely wouldn’t want to join that celebration. 

“You could probably ask Seiko if you can have alcohol with this medicine. Like, interactions can be weird sometimes. I’ve heard there are certain antidepressants that you can drink with, even though alcohol is a depressant. Seiko would know best,” Kokichi hummed, stretching out a little as he cuddled back into Kaito. “And I think Lake-chan is getting Maki-chan some scotch as a ‘congratulations on the job’ gift. If Seiko clears you and Maki-chan feels like sharing? You guys could probably celebrate her job together.”

Or other things.

Kokichi snorted as Kaito abruptly changed the subject, bending his knee to rub his leg down Kaito’s amicably as he rolled his eyes. “You make it sound so hardcore. I’ve had edibles a few times, nothing intense. Again, if you ask Seiko about it, I could probably get some for you guys to try too.”

“I’ve had weed before, if that’s what you mean by edibles,” Shuuichi said, reaching up to grab Kaito’s hand, which was still carding through his hair, and taking it down, resting his face against it instead. Kaito smelled nice. Familiar. “I don’t remember it doing much...well, I guess I felt more relaxed.”

“You’ve done weed before, Shuuichi?” Kaito said, sounding honestly baffled. “When!?”

“With Fuyuhiko and Peko,” Shuuichi said, giving his boyfriend a lazy look, as he said, “And why do you sound so offended? You’ve taken ecstasy, Kaito. Not to mention all the hallucinogenics for your rituals.”

“I don’t know! I’m just surprised! You never did drugs with me!”

“Because you were doing ecstacy, Kaito. That’s like, oh, I don’t know...what’s a good metaphor...that’d be like throwing Kokichi in the ocean right now, without bothering seeing how he swims in, like, a pool. You went zero to one hundred real fast, Kaito.”

“Where do you suppose that saying came from?” Kaito mused, “Zero to one hundred...zero to one hundred what? Horses? That seems like too many horses...maybe that’s why it's always portrayed as a bad thing…”

“Do you guys think I could have actually gotten pregnant with a horse?” Shuuichi asked, something nervous flashing through his face, having been worried about this for a while. “Or was that just another thing Miss Nao said to scare me?”

“I really wish you wouldn’t call her ‘miss’...”

“A lot of people get that,” Kokichi nodded. “S’why it’s a good ingredient in that massage oil, or so I figure. If you get enough of a high, though, or at least this is what it did for me, I could like...feel sounds. It had been raining, and it felt like I was on like...a softly bouncing trampoline, even though I was just sitting in one of the armchairs in our room. It was cool.”

Kokichi found himself mildly surprised that Shuuichi had gotten high with Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, even if he and Kaito had smoothed things over from their feud. He...didn’t think Kaito had ever mentioned a ‘Peko’, so he figured that was just another friend. But all that was nothing to how Kokichi’s eyes bugged as Shuuichi pointed out--

“You did what?” But he just let out an exasperated sigh, placing another small kiss against Kaito’s arm, not sure he even wanted the story behind that, and was content to go with his lovers jumping from subject to subject. 

Though with that look on Shuuichi’s face...maybe it was a good idea to linger on this one for a moment. 

Holding Shuuichi closer, Kokichi sighed softly. “Honestly...I don’t know. I would’ve thought it’d be impossible for the spores to allow you to get pregnant at all. Knowing her...whether you’d be able to or not, I think she definitely said it to scare you.” Pausing for a moment, Kokichi kissed Shuuichi’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over his hip. “We don’t have to talk about it, but...to me it sounds like almost everything she said to you was to scare you. She’s really good at that.”

Shuuichi bit his lip, shifting uncomfortably…he sometimes...wanted to talk about it, but…

“...Kaito, I don’t want you to kill her.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Kaito grumbled, disentangling himself from the other two, sitting up and getting off the bed. “Where’s Kokichi’s food? Didn’t Maki say it’d be up any minute? It’s been over an hour, easy.”

Shuuichi also sat up, suddenly more awake, giving Kaito an earnest look from the bed. “Kaito, please. Can’t you just promise me you won’t kill her? It would make me happy! You do it for Kokichi!”

“I don’t know why we’re talking about this. Wasn’t this all settled? If I go down to the kitchens to find out what happened to Kokichi’s leftovers, do you want me to bring you back anything, Shuuichi?”

“Don’t ignore me!”

“She doesn’t deserve to live, Shuuichi!” Kaito said, spinning back at him, his face strained. Tense and angry. “I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like it’s okay! But I already promised Kokichi I wasn’t, okay? It’s already settled! I’m not going to attack her!”

“...I don’t believe you. I feel like if I say anything wrong, you’ll end up at her house...”

“God, you make me sound like a fucking monster. I’m going to the kitchens, I’ll be back,” Kaito grumbled, walking out the door and slamming it behind him.

Shuuichi put his head in his hands, his fingers shaking. “...s-sorry, Kokichi…”

Kokichi looked up in concern when Kaito got up but… He sighed when Kaito stormed out and scooted around to sit at Shuuichi’s side, putting a hand on his back and gently rubbing it up and down. “It’s okay… Maybe it’ll get better with time but… In the meantime? If you wanted to talk about her and the things she did? I’ll listen. I won’t justify anything she did, because I do think it was wrong, but...how Shuu-chan feels now is more important to me than pointing out all the things she did.”

“...from how you guys describe it, your culture is far more...culprit-oriented, for lack of a better term. I know Kai-chan will likely never see eye-to-eye with me on that. While he thinks some people don’t deserve to live...I truly don’t think anyone deserves to die. And even if he doesn’t agree...Kai-chan really is trying to at least act according to Dicean Law. That’s what his therapy sessions are trying to help, ideally.”

It wasn’t the time to talk to Shuuichi about this, but...he really wished he could speak openly to Kaito about punishment. He wished he could get angry and point out that if he thought like Kaito, then some of the first people he’d point out that ‘deserved to die’ would be his brother. His parents. Tengan and Chisa. Every Momota that had even thought for a moment about abusing their power. Everyone at the Togami Company. Anyone who “owned” someone in the Indentured Citizen Program. 

At that point, why not just kill every Luminary?

But that thought made him feel sick, and, while Kokichi was angry at those people...he didn’t think they deserved to die. They deserved to have power taken away from them and to never be placed in another position of power, they deserved to have long talks about why they thought any reason was okay to hurt another person. They deserved a chance to redeem all the cruelty they put out into the world instead of leaving a gap that another cruel person would fill. 

But...Kaito likely wouldn’t be able to have that sort of conversation without losing his mind. And it frustrated Kokichi to no end...but also made his heart ache. 

Kissing Shuuichi’s head and holding him close, Kokichi rocked him gently. “Nao will be safe. You’ll be okay. Kai-chan will be okay. Things will hurt for...probably a long time, but we’re here for you, and I’m not going anywhere. Shuu-chan will move forward, and it will be okay.”

“I...I don’t know if it will…” Shuuichi said, giving Kokichi a desperate look, his hair puffing up and tangling as his hands clutched at the roots. “I...the memories just get worse, every day...I was awful, Kokichi, I...I was desperate and pathetic and disgusting and...Kaito doesn’t understand. I needed her. I was starting to want to do...terrible things to you guys. All of you. I almost did, a couple of times. I...Kokichi, I…”

Shuuichi stared at him, drawing up his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself...before his eyes went a strained, painful red, tears starting to fall, his colors flashing that neon pink for a moment before he put his head down into his knees. “I did something bad to you...I-I’m so sorry...”

Kokichi gave Shuuichi a sad look, but never pulled away for even a second, just rubbing his back and then smoothing his hair when he curled up. As horrible as it was...it was probably a good sign that the memories were getting worse. Seiko had said that the spores altered your personality into something that would upset you the most. So, if what Shuuichi had done and asked for hurt him so much now...it meant that the spores were probably almost completely out of his system. It meant that Shuuichi was getting his mind back. 

But...it didn’t erase what was already done.

Kokichi stiffened in worry, but...he forced himself to relax with a sigh, rubbing the back of Shuuichi’s neck since he couldn’t dry his tears. “...if you think all that about how you were acting then...you’re already getting better, Shuu-chan. It means you really are our lovely, kind, brilliant, thoughtful, strong, resourceful, beautiful Shuu-chan. Because if that’s the sort of stuff you wanted? If that’s the stuff that the spores knew would cause you the most pain? Then that just proves how wonderful you are, doesn’t it.”

“The memories will hurt. A lot of horrible things happened to you--they should hurt. If they didn’t, then either you’re not letting yourself process them, which sometimes works, like repressed memories ‘n stuff, or...you’ve convinced yourself that it wasn’t horrible, and it was normal. And...normalizing abuse...it just leads to other people being hurt. It means that you can’t recognize that hurt in others, so you can’t help them, and it makes you more likely to inflict that pain on others.”

“Most likely...those memories will always hurt. But the pain will dull with time. And you’ll make new, happier memories that will be stronger than the ones that hurt. That’s what it means to live.” Kokichi kissed at Shuuichi’s head again, holding his boyfriend close. “Spring always comes around again.”

And...in the case where it wasn’t something that had been done to you, but rather something you had done…

Kokichi took another deep breath and closed his eyes, listening to Shuuichi’s sniffling breaths for a moment. “...don’t do that bad thing to me again, then? You were drugged. I can forgive that if you don’t do it again.”

Shuuichi took a few short, steadying breaths, each one warbling, shuddering...before nodding into his knees. “...k-kay…”

He looked up. Eyes already puffed and miserable. “...you really don’t want to know? I won’t tell you if you don’t want to know...I-I can do penance, if you want me to...I don’t know what penance for a Dicean looks like...I know you don’t want me to do a submission bow...”

Kokichi looked at the misery on Shuuichi’s face and...he really couldn’t understand why Luminaries would want more. More than that almost helpless remorse… He leaned in, gently kissing the tear tracks on Shuuichi’s cheeks before he tenderly wiped them away with his sleeve. 

“...you’re already atoning, Shuu-chan. You’re getting clean. Even though it’s making you miserable, you’re going through with it. You promised not to do it again. And seeing how horrible it’s making you feel? I know you mean it when you apologize.” Sighing softly, Kokichi looked down for a moment before shrugging a little, barely any movement in his shoulders. “Nothing about that changes no matter what you did, Shuu-chan. But...I think it’s going to eat at me so...what was it?”

...he didn’t say that he somehow doubted it was worse than what had already been done to him.

Shuuichi sighed, taking comfort in Kokichi’s promise that nothing would change. He felt like he could believe it. God, he hated himself…

“It was the...the day after your heart attack, I think? The day before Nao got me. I think that’s how the timeline went...days were starting to bleed together, back then...I guess it doesn’t matter,” Shuuichi sighed, playing with his pants legs. Bothered and ashamed. “You were...basically in and out of consciousness. Could barely move, couldn’t even really keep your eyes open…”

Shuuichi brought his finger up to his mouth to start to chew on it, and then remembered himself, not wanting to do that around Kokichi. So he tucked his hands between his knees and his chest and said, “It was my three dose day. I remember that much. I had had my dose, and then two drinks with Itch...oh yeah...guess that was the same day I was planning to use Itch’s connections to attack Luminary...so fucking dumb...I really was going to turn him in. I just...wanted his resources first...I don’t know. I wanted a lot of different things. I think my mind changed about it every couple of hours. I wish I could say I would have turned him in, but...he had pollen and...I was afraid of losing that…sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just deflecting.”

“I kissed you. Kaito had stepped out and I was...horny and...I figured you were unconscious and it would be easy. To just get what I needed out of you. I was going to take advantage of you. It wasn’t going to stop at kissing, but...I started to kiss you and, suddenly the haze just went away? Like a shock, I guess. I could just think clearer for a moment and I realized I didn’t want to do that, or, I shouldn’t do it, or something. Kaito could come back in. You could wake up...you were practically in a coma that I had caused...what was I thinking…”

“...I’m so sorry, Kokichi...I took advantage of you…”

...he didn’t want to be relieved. It wasn’t okay that Shuuichi had taken advantage of him. But...where once Kokichi might’ve felt his heart drop, would’ve had to be quiet for a moment before he could interact with Shuuichi again, maybe would’ve cried about it later…

He only felt an empty relief that it was just a kiss. 

(But he didn’t want to think about the pain that was there. Because Shuuichi had violated him while on a dangerous drug, on a huge dose of it, and that meant that kissing Kokichi while he was asleep was one of the things that would hurt Shuuichi most. 

Meanwhile, Kaito had done worse of his own free will.)

Letting out a deep, slow breath, Kokichi went back to rubbing Shuuichi’s back and pressed his cheek to his shoulder. “...thank you for telling me.”

He was silent for a few moments, just...not feeling like this was fair to Kaito, but… 

“...I don’t blame you for my heart attack either, by the way. Even if you had...exacerbated it because seeing me upset made you excited, all that… I appreciated you being honest about Luminary with me. Most of the things I knew had come from Kai-chan and...it was going to hurt no matter what, realizing the truth of it. But...it wasn’t just that…”

Kokichi closed his eyes and held Shuuichi close for a moment. “...I wasn’t in a good place that morning anyway. Honestly...I was probably going to make myself sick thinking about it anyway...just turned out worse. It’s...better now.”

“...Kai-chan promised to be better too…”

Shuuichi took another shaky breath, not really certain if he believed whatever Kokichi was saying for a moment. Of course the heart attack had been his fault...he should have stopped talking, stopped telling stories when he saw his eyes go wet, his face go pale...he should have…

“...what do you mean, Kaito promised to be better?” Shuuichi said, giving Kokichi a confused, concerned look. “Better then wh…”

His eyes widened, fingers going to his neck. “The hand print...wait, he didn’t hurt you, did he? I thought you, ya know...I thought that was just you two getting carried away...did he hurt you?”

“N-no, that, uh…” Pink crept into his cheeks as Kokichi hid behind Shuuichi’s shoulder a little, embarrassment overpowering his...what he felt about that night. “Um… It’s kind of ironic, considering my lung problems, but… I like being...you know… Kind of out of breath. During intimate times…”

Looking away and rubbing under his nose as the flush in his cheeks deepened, Kokichi just sort of non-committedly shrugged. “...I shouldn’t have brought it up. Kai-chan apologized...promised to be better...made me…” hold a knife to his husband’s neck, half expecting him to press in. He had struggled against it, trying to let the knife go or pull it away, but Kaito was so much stronger than him and he didn’t want to accidentally hurt Kaito when he let him go and it was so easy for him to hold him, hold him down, pick him up and move him around like a doll like a toy-

Kokichi took a sharp breath and swallowed, unconsciously curling himself into Shuuichi’s side as he gave his boyfriend a shaky smile. “...we settled it, is all I’m saying. And Kai-chan is moving forward. That’s what I want for you too. That...wasn’t okay, but...you know that. And you won’t do it again.”

Trying to bolster his smile more, Kokichi nuzzled his cheek against Shuuichi’s shoulder. “Though...consensual kisses? Or even surprise kisses? I’ll really love any of those Shuu-chan wants to give me going forward.”

Shuuichi frowned, wondering if he should push...but deciding not to. If it was still an issue, it was probably reasonable to expect that it would come to light eventually, at least to him. He was dating both of them, after all. It’d come up.

...what could Kaito have done that would have spiraled Kokichi into an inevitable heart attack?

He hoped it wasn’t anything too bad. Kaito was violent and impulsive and vengeful, and Shuuichi was convinced if he vented around him, he’d end up in another fight with Nao...but only because he loved Shuuichi, and people hurting the people he loved was one of the things that drove Kaito crazy. But...he wouldn’t hurt Shuuichi. Or Maki. Or Kokichi.

Right?

...he’d...he’d think about it later.

“And...and I want to, ya know…” Shuuichi blushed, his heart fluttering slightly, “I want to kiss you. A lot. Sorry...or, maybe I’m not sorry. I don’t know. It helps that you want me to...and that’s the thing, really. I just don’t...I don’t want to ever make you do something you don’t want to do, and it really...bothers me...how long I wanted that. I didn’t think there was something that evil even possible in me...I’m ashamed of it.”

“But...with a very strong asterisk? Of ‘unless I’m on pollen again’? Or, stronger doses of pollen, anyway...honestly, I think there’s almost nothing in my doses now…” Shuuichi sighed, “I promise to never do that again. I promise, Kokichi. I’m really sorry.”

“And...we probably don’t have much longer to talk. Kaito’s gonna be back any minute, and I don’t...want to piss him off or anything like that. And I know he promised you he wouldn’t hurt Miss Nao but...some of the things I want to talk about…”

Shuuichi put his head back onto his knees. Not really crying anymore, just...resting. Something deeply hurt and...betrayed swirling in his gut as he admitted, ashamed to say it, “I keep looking back at the memories and I just...don’t understand why some of the things happened? Why she did them? Even to help me...some of it was just...I think about it a-and it...it just doesn’t make any sense u-unless she just...was playing with me...some of the things she did just made it worse and I don’t understand why…”

Smiling a little more surely, Kokichi placed a kiss to Shuuichi’s temple. “Thank you… Everyone has the capacity for ‘good’ and ‘evil’, not that so many acts done in the name of either of those things can really be so clearly classified... but, anyway, there’s no...gene or whatever that predisposes a person to be good or evil. It’s how we choose to act that defines what sort of person we are. So, if you choose that you won’t do that? Then that makes Shuu-chan a person who chooses to do good. And that’s the best apology I could ever ask for.”

That was the crux of the justice system in Dicea. And...something that Nao would have to go through, and was probably going through now. 

Sighing, Kokichi rested his head on top of Shuuichi’s. “...I’m not her. I can’t tell you why for certain. But...if I believed that everything she did to you was to help you? Even if it was horrible, I don’t think I would’ve been as mad at her. But...I don’t think that everything she did was to help you, and even some of the stuff that was, I’m just...positive there were alternatives that wouldn’t have hurt you as much. And for that? I’m angry and disappointed in her. And I wouldn’t be surprised if you felt that way too.”

“...but, you’re right.” Sitting up off of Shuuichi, Kokichi rolled his shoulders, stretching them out. “Kai-chan’s coming back, and while it annoys me that he can’t handle talking about her for your sake...that’s something he’s working on too. But if you ever need to talk--about anything, really--I will always listen to you. I’ll do my best to offer advice or my opinion or just be there to let you vent. I love you, Shuu-chan.” Again, he gave his boyfriend a loving smile.

“Thanks...I…” Shuuichi hesitated...staring sadly at his hands for a moment, before looking over at Kokichi. “I...you...you promise this isn’t a game to you? That I’m not...that you aren’t lying?”

Kokichi blinked in shock for a moment before-- “No, Shuu-chan. This isn’t a game to me, and I am not lying.”

Gently, he took Shuuichi’s hands in his and tenderly massaged them. “When we first met, I thought you were cute, but I didn’t think much of it, since I was supposed to be married to Kai-chan, right? But then getting to know you...you were so clever, finding that trail of water that Kai-chan left, and then figuring out that he was heading to his guest room for his sword. You figuring that out might’ve saved Waku-chan’s life.”

“And then, when we found Kai-chan? He’d just thrown Maki-chan into a wall...but you saw that and knew that even if you’d get seriously hurt, you couldn’t leave her to fight Kai-chan on her own. Shuu-chan is really brave and loyal...he cares about his friends so much…”

“...you and Maki-chan were really nice to me, even though I was the ‘enemy prince’.” Kokichi rolled his eyes a little. “You were willing to work together with me, even if you didn’t trust me. And you two worked all night to narrow down who out of the over a hundred people it could’ve been! When we were talking about it, when you vouched for that nurse, Mikan? Even though it’s your job to suspect people, Shuu-chan believes in them.”

Trying to catch Shuuichi’s eye, though he didn’t try to lift Shuuichi’s chin, Kokichi smiled affectionately. “After all that? I knew I really liked you. Kai-chan and I talked about it, and he kept teasing me about trying to flirt with you. And, honestly? If I hadn’t been engaged, then married? I would’ve flirted with you in a heartbeat. Shuu-chan is really amazing.”

“...then, that day you tried to drown yourself…” Kokichi took a breath, his smile fading as he gently squeezed Shuuichi’s hands. “...Kai-chan told me that...he was considering having sex with you to help you out. And...I must’ve seemed like such a jealous asshole… But...I couldn’t help thinking that...he’d never want to come back to me after being with you. And...I mean...you two have known each other forever! Of course it’d just be natural if...you wanted to be with him too...if the two of you were happier together… He’d be able to help you better than I ever could too…”

Kokichi was quiet for a moment before pulling himself back together. “...I was really happy with how excited Kai-chan got when I mentioned that I wanted us both to help you that time. And then when we talked later...I didn’t want a relationship just for Shuu-chan’s sake. Of course I want to help you, but...my affection and attraction is selfish,” he smiled back up at Shuuichi. “The idea of being with Shuu-chan, as a couple? Or as a...triple? With Kai-chan? It makes me really happy. I really do like you, and I love you too. I want to create a world where Shuu-chan can greet everyday knowing he is at peace, and...it would make me happy if in that world, I was right next to him.”

Shuuichi stared at him wide eyed, not having expected...all of that. 

And as Kokichi talked, Shuuichi felt something warm in him...something desperately...longing and lonely. Starved for something, in his own way, and not realizing he had been starving till it started to ease away…

And as Kokichi finished speaking, that desperate thing got stronger, and Shuuichi reached out to grab his shoulders, putting a thumb gently against his cheek, staring down at him. That aching, lonely thing in him filling…

He leaned down to kiss him. First one small chaste kiss. So much like the one in the bed, Kokichi half asleep...then Shuuichi banished that thought and kissed him again, gently tasting against his lower lip, then his top. Feeling how soft he is...how much he…

“...I love you,” Shuuichi swore. Staring into those wide, purple eyes. Feeling certain about it now. That terrible thing inside of him aching, but…in the same way his back had, when Kaito had pressed at the places it hurt. Sore from the attention, but promising recovery. “I love you, Kokichi.” 

Kokichi easily let Shuuichi’s hands go when he pulled away, but was pleased when they went to his shoulders and not fully away. In response, Kokichi laid his hands on Shuuichi’s waist, comfortably set where it started to taper out into his hips, and he smiled kindly, lovingly up at his boyfriend. 

And...he wasn’t that surprised when Shuuichi came in for a kiss. 

Kokichi smiled into it, following Shuuichi’s lead, not pushing, not wanting to overwhelm him, but following every step in the dance, enjoying the small, sweet taste of Shuuichi…

And his expression shone with hope and love as Shuuichi said words that Kokichi had been prepared to not hear for a long time, if ever. 

(There had been a part of Kokichi that worried that, to Shuuichi, he was just an add-on. Fun and nice to be around, but secondary to the love for Kaito, honed for years through hardships and devotion. And that part...melted down as he heard those words.)

Leaning back in, Kokichi kissed Shuuichi’s lips, lingering for a long moment before he parted just far enough to murmur, “I love you too, Shuu-chan.”

The two sat there for another twenty minutes, whispering little assurances to each other, laughing a little, kissing a lot more. Shuuichi noted the time passing in a distant kind of way, and every now and again between kisses he worried about the fact that Kaito hadn’t come back yet...but he relaxed when there was a knock at the door. Kaito had likely accidently locked himself out in his huff.  Shuuichi kissed Kokichi again, before then placing a gentle kiss at his cheek and saying, “I’ll go let him in. He probably was just taking a breath.”

Shuuichi lowered his cap a little, feeling a little nervous as he went to open the door. He and Kaito weren’t afraid of sniping at each other, at small arguments...but that had been a little more heated than normal. For good reason too...Shuuichi wasn’t used to being on the ‘please don’t hurt them’ side. Kaito and Maki’s willingness to fight for him had been a long time comfort. Asking them to stop though? It was...weirdly intimidating. And frustrating. He suddenly had new appreciation for Kokichi’s endless reassurances to them this last month. Kaito wanting to protect him from someone Shuuichi didn’t want protection from just made Kaito’s eagerness to fight her seem...well, it made him seem like an enemy…

Maybe he could explain that to him? Kaito might understand it if he told him it was scaring him. Shuuichi was pretty sure that was why Kaito held back for Kokichi’s sake. Well, that or Maki’s theory, which was Kokichi was new Byakuya...but that was fucking depressing. Shuuichi would rather that not be the case.

He’d try to explain, and as he opened the door, he said, “Kaito, I’m sorry I yelled...um.” Shuuichi blinked, staring at the housekeeper in shocked confusion. He stood there for a moment, before saying, “Hello...”

“Kirumi Toujou. A pleasure to meet you, Shuuichi Saihara.” Kirumi introduced herself, curtseying slightly, one hand holding a silver tray in one hand, and a table stand in another. “I apologize for my lateness. Maki’s message got lost in the pass down, and when Prince Kaito requested lunch be sent up to her room for Prince Kokichi, all of the leftovers were cold, so I made a new batch. I’ve also brought dessert, as requested, and am to pass along a note. May I come in?”

Shuuichi blinked at her...before nodding. “Sorry, yes, come in.”

As he stepped aside, she walked in and, curtseying to Kokichi, she set up the table stand, put down the tray, opened it up, fetched some napkins out of her pockets, placed the napkins next to the silver tray, then placed one on Kokichi’s lap. “Good day, Kokichi. I hope things are well. Prince Kaito seemed in a bit of a state. Here’s the note, if you’d like it,” she said, handing it to him.

On it was simply written: Going to buy Champagne and Scotch, will buy some sweets from the shop on my way back, sorry I slammed the door. Love you both.

Kokichi blinked in surprise at who was at the door. He’d guessed that Kaito was doing more than just checking on Maki’s request for him. While it was comforting to see Kaito not just...blindly agreeing with Kokichi one hundred percent of the time, for this thing? When it came to others’ safety? ...he believed that Kaito wasn’t going to get in trouble, but...he did hope they could work something out. While the Nao Issue was far from over at the current moment, if Kaito could never shake the feeling of it being unfinished business…

...they’d figure it out. 

And...maybe Kaito just needed a little more time, if he just passed on the message rather than getting food himself. 

Grinning at Kirumi, Kokichi laughed lightly. “Aw, Kirumi-chan, you didn’t have to do all that, but thank you! I’ll make sure I give your cooking the proper appreciation it deserves!” ...other people would enjoy the leftovers, he was sure. Anyone was invited to the castle for meals, and leftovers were often taken home by people who didn’t live in the castle. Food waste was usually stuff like...onion peels, things that people couldn’t eat anyway, and it was divided up and sent out to feed livestock or to decompose and become fertilizer. So...making new food even when there was food already available? He knew it wasn’t that wasteful, and Kirumi had gone through the effort to make something nice for him, so he should just be thankful. 

Taking the note from the housekeeper, Kokichi sighed softly, turning to give Shuuichi a look before giving Kirumi another smile. “Thanks for passing this on and letting us know what’s up. How are you doing? Adjusting alright?”

“Exceptionally well. It’s a relief to be home, even while coming across a few unfortunate projects that had fallen by the wayside while I was gone. While the castle staff I’m certain did their best, the state of the attic ventilation mats...it’s like no one’s ever thought to shake them out,” Kirumi said, sighing gravely. “But, the castle is still in remarkably better shape than some of my more troubling daydreams, so I suppose I should be thankful and just happy to be home.”

She turned to look at Shuuichi, who was keeping his distance from her, staring at her from beneath his brim. “This is the ex-Luminary Detective, isn’t it? You didn't correct me when I guessed your name. I apologize, may I inquire why yourself and Prince Kokichi are spending time in Maki’s room...without her? Your room is to the left and your room,” she said, turning to the prince, “is to the right of here. And both of your rooms are far more cozy and cheerful than…”

Kirumi looked around Maki’s room, a clear look of disappointment in her gaze, “this one.”

As she looked around, her eyes suddenly settled on the open weapons chest by the window...and she looked to Kokichi. “Prince Kokichi? Are you aware there are open blades in this room? Would you like me to have these removed?”

So, like, Kokichi knew how to sweep and mop. Knew...the basic concept of laundry, knew how to wipe down counters. But he had not been trained to be a housekeeper, and so his knowledge was limited to the basics. The...attic ventilation mats? ...he’d trust Kirumi’s word. Nodding, he softly mentioned he was glad to hear that, for the most part, things were good. 

Laughing sheepishly, Kokichi had been about to explain why they were in Maki’s room, but…

It was a subtle change in expression. A tightening in Kokichi’s jaw and neck, a flash of fury before he reined it in. But it was still there. 

“I’m aware--as you pointed out, this is Maki-chan’s room. I’m sure she wouldn’t be very happy about someone stealing away her belongings, but Kirumi-chan doesn’t have to worry--Maki-chan has the weapons’ permits for everything here.” The smile he gave Kirumi was...tighter than his usual ones. “We’re hangin’ out in here because Shuu-chan and Maki-chan were hanging out earlier, and we just didn’t leave when Maki-chan headed out. It’s a nice room! I like hanging out in here--what do you think, Shuu-chan?”

Shuuichi looked warily at the woman, thinking quickly. What should he do? Does she know? What would she do if she knew? Careful going forward, Shuuichi…

“I’ve moved into Maki’s room with her for the time being,” Shuuichi said simply. Clearly. Staring somewhere around Kirumi’s waist. “The room to our left is officially vacant as of right now. I’ll finish moving any other items that might have been left in it by today.”

“Oh,” Kirumi said, nodding to him. “I’ll be sure to update the ledgers, now that we have an additional room available. But that still doesn’t rectify the issue of open blades. I do have to insist that you, at least, Prince Kokichi, vacate the room. For your own safety. And you,” she said, glancing at Shuuichi again. “Should be aware that Prince Kokichi needs to be kept away from such dangerous items in the future. Accidents happen, and the best way to prevent such accidents is to remove their source.”

Shuuichi considered her for a moment...before his eyes fell to the floor. “Kokichi, maybe we should go to your room.”

Kirumi moved her eyes away from the weapon chest, and considered the curtains literally nailed to the wall...hm. That was probably something that needed to be dealt with at some point as well. Maki Harukawa was looking less and less adaptive every second. Shame. Kirumi had a lot of work ahead of her. 

Kokichi clenched his fists in his lap for a moment as that tightness in his jaw returned, but...he let the tension go as he gave Kirumi a sunny smile. “Alright. Lemme just grab my things. And you grab anything you wanna bring too, Shuu-chan, if you wanna keep hangin’.” 

In easy, fluid motions, Kokichi gathered the bottle of massage oil and the work he’d brought over, picking up the wrapped cutlery and extra napkins into his stack to make it easier to move everything over. All with a cheerful smile on his face that didn’t move. 

He recognized that type of unhearing stubbornness in Kirumi. Normally he fought it, determined to have his voice heard, but...so many of those incidents over the years ended with him tired out and carried away. ...he remembered Kaito loudly declaring that they’d wait for the meals for their friends in the kitchen. And the thought of Kirumi just...overpowering him and picking him up...in front of Shuuichi…

Kokichi’s expression didn’t change, but hot shame built pressure behind his eyes. Once he’d gathered up his things, Kokichi waited at the door with a grin. “Ready?”

Shuuichi glanced between Kokichi and Kirumi, back to Kokichi again, nodded quickly, looked around to grab his journal real quick, before turning to follow Kokichi out. 

As he walked out, Kirumi...didn’t step in front of him. Didn’t reach out to stop him. Simply hummed to herself for a moment in a way that suggested a thought had come to her mind, and Shuuichi immediately stopped, looking to her. “Yes?”

“If you’d like, Shuuichi, I can help you move the last of your items into Maki’s room. I’ve heard you’ve been ill, and I would hate for you to strain yourself.”

“No, that’s alright. I’m waiting for Maki to return to do it,” Shuuichi said, staring at her knees. “It’ll be done by tonight,” he stressed again, turning to go to Kokichi again.

“May I ask, if you’re comfortable sharing, what’s been troubling you?” Kirumi asked, noting the way he avoided her gaze and stopped at her attention. Interesting, interesting… “Knowing would allow me to better serve and assist you in the future, should you require it.”

“...” She was going to find out either way. He was honestly shocked she didn’t already know. “Drug withdrawal. Thank you,” he said, waiting a second to see if Kirumi was going to stop him again...and when she just nodded, turning to look at the rest of the room again, he quickly moved to Kokichi.

Going out in the hallway with him, Shuuichi sighed. “...sorry about that,” he whispered to his boyfriend.

Kokichi just shook his head a little, opening his door and letting Shuuichi in before following, setting his things on the bed. “You have nothing to apologize for, Shuu-chan. Hold on a sec, okay? I need to go grab the food and lock up Maki-chan’s room.”

He wanted to scream. Out of everything he had worried about with the veterans’ returns, he hadn’t thought about...this. Being around his friends had really spoiled him… Being around people who treated him like… But that was more of an outlier in his life. And why shouldn’t it? He could just fuckin drop dead at any moment. 

Quickly returning to Maki’s room, Kokichi went to carry the tray and the folding table into his room, his smile unchanged. “Thanks again, Kirumi-chan. I hope all this wasn’t too out of your way.”

Kirumi was still considering the curtain on the wall. She should probably look. It was an invasion of privacy, but more likely than not, knowing would serve the greater good. Secrets were toxic, after all. The kind of secrets an unreformed Luminary would keep? More so…

She glanced back at Kokichi as he returned to the room, frowning slightly. “Apologies, Kokichi. I should have followed you with the tray and table as soon as you left the room. I was distracted. You have my sincere apologies,” she said, bowing her head slightly, before straightening up at his concerns. “Serving you is never inconvenient or out of my range of duties. I am delighted and honored to be asked to assist you.”

“To further assist you, I feel inclined to ask an uncomfortable question, and apologize in advance,” she said, though considering the weapon chest again, she said, “Allow me the honor to walk you out and I will ask you then. I can finish serving Maki’s room once you’re safely away.”

His smile was a little more genuine at that. “It’s really no problem--like, I can move all this fine myself? And Kai-chan probably would’ve brought food up himself if he hadn’t thought to go shopping. What Hajime-chan and you do, like, it’s super nice! But at the end of the day, you guys are hired for the upkeep of the castle--doing favors for the people who live in it are extra, really.”

A pretty regular favor for him...unable to leave bed so often...wanting to hide from everyone…

Nodding a bit to her prelude, Kokichi carefully carried the tray and table out of Maki’s room. He wouldn’t be surprised if the preferences for her room that she put down banned anyone from walking in without invitation, but it turned out that Maki’s paranoia stopped short of bringing out her own laundry.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Again, I apologize in advance for the insensitive question,” she said, placing her hands together in front of her stomach, a somewhat reserved expression on her face. “I don’t wish to make assumptions on your personal life, nor do I think it would be appropriate for me to ask. However, if your personal life is putting you in any sort of discomfort or danger, I feel one of my requirements as a staff member of this castle would be to report such concerns to your father. I would rather not cause you embarrassment if it could be avoided, so I will simply go to you directly for clarity.”

“Are you certain the ex-Luminaries aren’t emotionally manipulating you or socially pressuring you to spend time exclusively with them in a non-semi-professional setting?” Kirumi asked simply, staring down at him. “Spending time bonding with Kaito Momota is understandable. One should expect to at least try to make a marriage work, regardless of the circumstances that began it. But moving on to start a relationship with another, and then offering the third one an incredibly important and extremely sensitive position? One is understandable, two is coincidence. All three of them taking priority in your personal relationships? Unlikely and concerning. I simply wish to check on you and see your view on the matter before coming to any unfortunate or inaccurate conclusions.”

...he knew she was saying something different. But for a moment, fear and panic seized Kokichi’s heart as he just heard...abuse...Stockholm Syndrome...he needed to be saved, poor dear didn’t realize the danger he was in, surrounded by monsters, had to undo all that brainwashing…

His breath catching a little, Kokichi set down the table for a moment, not trusting himself to remain steady as he turned to Kirumi with an understanding, plastic smile. “They’re my friends, Kirumi-chan, and half the time I feel like it’s just me bugging them to hang out because I’m bored and I enjoy their company.”

“I offered Maki-chan the security job because...well, she’s basically spent the last month and a half doing the job anyway but without any of the supplies or allowances that would allow her so much more ease to do so. I’ve seen the breadth of her capabilities and, really, it’s more of a selfish thing for me to offer her the job, since I’d be a lot happier if my official bodyguard was someone I enjoyed being around and would want to invite on trips anyway. I genuinely think that she will flourish in this position.”

...he chose not to comment on how she knew that he and Shuuichi were together. As much as he wanted to flaunt his cute boyfriend, Shuuichi had asked him not to. To not say anything until he was ready. And Kokichi respected that.

With a bit of a curious smile, Kokichi raised an eyebrow at Kirumi despite his pounding heart. “...and I’m happy to be in a relationship with Kai-chan, Kirumi-chan. Relationships are work, but it’s a type of work I enjoy. And...they’re Dicean-Luminaries. I don’t imagine dual-citizenship will do much for them right now, since traveling isn’t...the safest thing to do at the moment, but...like my marriage to Kai-chan, I think they’ll be emblematic of the peace and understanding between our nations.”

“...that might just be the negotiator in me, though,” he laughed, twirling a bit of his hair. 

“I understand,” Kirumi said. And she did. If she had really been confident Kokichi was being emotionally manipulated (well, more than the usual amount all loved ones emotionally manipulate each other), then she would have gone to Brother Aiichi with her concerns right away. Her concerns had merely been nagging suspicions that she simply wanted clarity on, and Kokichi’s argument made sense to her. It was one of compassion and understanding and patience, and quite befit the mentality of the heir-apparent of Dicea. She listened to it with a great deal of pride, honored to be able to serve someone so good.

...but that just made it more urgent that she fix the other four as soon as possible. Their Luminary influence would unduly scar that good and pure mentality. Someone like Kokichi? Someplace like Dicea? ...it needed to be preserved. Untainted by the evils of the world, and if not untainted, then at least taken the parts of itself scarred by that evil and recovered to an almost healed degree. 

Kaito Momota, Maki Harukawa, and Shuuichi Saihara? They were worse than scars. They were open, festering wounds in Dicea. They needed to be disinfected, saturated, and bound with clean wrapping. Metaphorically. When they were merely scars? Then Kirumi could be gentler with them. More understanding. No one was perfect, of course.

But to be as bad an influence as they were? Unacceptable.

Bowing her head, Kirumi said, “Thank you for your understanding and patience at my uncomfortable question. And thank you for respecting the boundaries of Brother Aiichi’s open knives policy. I remember as a child seeing you struggle with such limits, and while it is in no way surprising to see you have matured and become reasonable with age and responsibility, it is still extremely heartwarming to see evidence of it in such a physical way.”

Curseying again, she said, “Now, if you require nothing else from me I will go retrieve the heat protector for the tray left in Maki’s room. Please feel free to call on me should you need anything. Including in regards to the Dicean-Luminaries. Withdrawal is not something I’ve ever heard to be a simple process. I am happy to assist in any way within my abilities. Have a good day, Kokichi.”

She turned back to go into Maki’s room. Intending to cover up the weapons chest more safely, make the bed, and open up the curtain.

For the good of the community.

Giving her another nod and smile, Kokichi didn’t let himself slip, even when her praise felt like a damning insult. Picking the tray and table back up, he called out cheerily, “No problem, Kirumi-chan! Thank you again for lunch, and we’ll definitely hit you up if something comes up. Have a good day too!”

Once he’d carried the table into his room, Kokichi paused to nudge the door closed with his foot, his smile stuck on his face as he looked over to Shuuichi. “Sorry about that, you d-didn’t have to come with me if you didn’t want. Just...y-you know…”

There was something almost unnatural in the sunny smile flawlessly stretched across Kokichi’s face as tears fell from his eyes. 

Shuuichi felt shame pool in his stomach as he quickly got up from the bed, where he had been waiting for Kokichi, moving over to him quickly to take the table from him and lean it against the wall, before drawing him up into a hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I should have said something. I got nervous and went quiet. I’m sorry. We can go back to Maki’s room. She doesn’t have the right to kick you out. I’m sorry.”

Kokichi hid his face in Shuuichi’s shoulder, finally the smile dropping into a grimace as his silent tears fell. He tightly grasped Shuuichi’s jacket, his shoulders trembling as he held his boyfriend close. “...it...it’s fine… I-it’s weird to hang out in her room when she’s not here anyway… It’s not a b-big deal...don’t need to make a fuss…”

Didn’t need to fall further in Shuuichi’s eyes by being dragged out of the room. O-or having Kirumi “threaten” to tell Aiichi...or try to confiscate Maki’s belongings, which would be a whole different deal…

“I don’t… I don’t need to be saved from you guys…” Kokichi sniveled, pressed close to Shuuichi, his voice edging into fear. “Don’t...wanna make anyone do anything...rash… I don’t...I can’t…”

...he felt like he was still bound by those ropes, helpless to convince anyone that his friends really were lovely people! Really! Please...please just listen to me, I’m telling the truth!

Kokichi started hiccuping, frightened and frustrated by his uselessness, overwhelmed in just a few moments.

Shuuichi took off his hat, put it on Kokichi, and lowered the brim over his face.

Then he pulled Kokichi in tighter. As close as he could, holding him as he cried for a little bit. Heart breaking at the sobs and feeling sick that he hadn’t done more. Had backed down in the face of authority. Like he always did. Authority that wasn’t even authority anymore...just unable to tell the difference…

He held Kokichi for awhile, and said, “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to be saved from us. I’m sorry people keep hurting you because they think that. You...you keep saving us,” Shuuichi said softly. Lowering his head against Kokichi. Trying to convey comfort through his hat, to pass on some of that stability and reassurance it gave him.

“The Brockmans wouldn't have...done what they did if you kept us at an arm's length. Denounced us, in some way. I’m certain of that. They wouldn’t have felt a need to bind you or tie you down if they thought you hated us anyway.”

“I’m sure Miss Toujou wouldn’t have said anything she just said if she hadn’t caught you with a Luminary...and I’ve seen how you react to that before. I know you could have put up a fuss...I...m-maybe this is narcissistic, but thank you for not doing that. I think you did that for my sake? I’m sorry if I’m off base thinking that, but...I was afraid to stand up to her. Scared we’d get into trouble. I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you…”

“...you keep taking care of us. Standing by us, even when it makes things harder for you...thank you…I’m sorry this keeps happening to you...I love you...”

In part...it was sort of Kokichi’s job to be...pleasant, at least, around the dual-citizens. How he had acted to Kaito in public before that night in the greenhouse. That was to make sure the treaty would still go through, yeah, but...as horrible as it was for something as meant to only represent pure emotions as marriage...his marriage to Kaito was a publicity stunt. They were supposed to be a symbol of peace, an example that Diceans and Luminaries could live together in harmony. 

Obviously the people who really believed that were limited. 

But more than how he had to act to reassure the public...Kokichi genuinely liked and cared about his friends. They were some of the first people in Kokichi’s life to believe in him and...to talk to him as Kokichi, and not the prince of Dicea, and not just their prince’s husband. They...they cared about him too. In a way that wasn’t stifling or patronizing or...made him feel like nothing. Even if he still felt like a burden sometimes...it was a sometimes thing with them. 

If Kokichi decided to hold his friends at arm’s length? ...then people might really start trying to “save” him. But more than that, it would...just make people bolder in focusing on them as representations of Luminary. It would be more than an ambiguous roof tile coming loose. And...it would hurt Kaito, Shuuichi, and Maki personally. After all this, to push them away...he didn’t have it in him to do it. He’d gotten too attached...for better or for worse. 

...there was a part of him that was howling in anger under his sniffles. Why did people care so much now, after he had found people who loved him, when no one cared about him before? Just the sickly, bedridden prince, stuck in the castle. Not allowed to leave, thought to be a myth by some, not, fucking...allowed in the same room as knives…

Kokichi hid under the brim of Shuuichi’s hat, taking comfort in the darkness, in his boyfriend’s arms around him. “I-I love you too… I’m s-sorry I keep causing trouble for you…”

Being the reason Kirumi was there. Why she had commented on Maki’s weapons at all. Being too humiliated at the prospect of being manhandled and carried out of the room. Getting the focus of the Brockmans in the first place. Not being able to fight Brent off. Being the reason any of them were in Dicea and surrounded by people who hated them because of Luminary...even if being in Luminary wasn’t...as nice and safe as he had assumed when he’d had thoughts like this before. ...but at least it was familiar. ...would Kaito finally be comfortable and happy if he’d never left?

Kokichi sniffled again as he clung to Shuuichi, his knees going weak as a headache started to pound in his head.

Shuuichi felt Kokichi’s grip suddenly get heavier (emotional stress + recent physical exhaustion(phys exh? Travel + hosting return fighters= probably) + poor nutrition (breakfast - lunch?= (+ unobserved breakfast) no conc can be drawn)= high chance of collapse + possible attack (historical precedence +observer bias= low risk but still concerning)=??? Heart above legs??? Maybe just get to sit and reassess from there) and, concerned, said to Kokichi, “Hey, let’s...let’s sit down. We don’t have to get to the bed, let’s just sit down here.”

He coaxed Kokichi to sit down on the floor with him, just wanting to ensure Kokichi wouldn’t fall, whispering, “You can lean on me. It’s okay. Let’s just be here for a second…”

As Shuuichi sat with Kokichi, listening to him still sniffling and crying to himself beneath his hat...man, he could see why his habit frustrated Maki and Kaito. He felt so safe under the protection of the brim, but every part of him wanted to move it away from where he had put it to see Kokichi’s eyes, hoping to get a better read of how he was doing...but at the same time, he had put it on him for a reason...he just wanted him to feel secure. Feel hidden. He had no idea if it was working for him like it did Shuuichi, but…

“...you don’t cause us trouble...you’re the best thing about this place.” Shuuichi sighed. 

“...I can understand Kaito’s feelings a little better now. I kinda want to yell at people too...or at least I wish I had yelled at her...or at least had told her it was up to you if we left...no one should get to treat you like that. You’re worth far more than that.” Shuuichi sighed. 

“I read your medical files. You know that. I read your treatment recommendations, the memos regarding safety measures put in place for you, incident reports...it all sounded so hard. Even when I was reading it. I thought that was so much to put on a kid...and it...it’s frustrating to see you still dealing with that…”

After a moment, he said, “Are you okay? Do you need water?”

Kokichi let himself be lowered to the ground, sitting in front of Shuuichi and just...trying to catch his breath. And...a little of the pain in his heart lessened as Shuuichi spoke. Calling him...good. Worthy. ...not deserving of what had been done to him…

Even after Shuuichi’s question, Kokichi was quiet for a few beats before reaching under the hat and rubbing his eyes, trying to clear away the tears. Then he lifted the brim, looking up at Shuuichi, his puffy eyes just...hurt and sad and exhausted but...thankful. Loving. 

“...thanks, Shuu-chan. ...m okay.” Kokichi looked over to the bed, to the tray of food and sighed. “...should prolly have some water. I know everyone wants me to eat, an’ Kirumi made food an’ everything but...m not that hungry…”

He swallowed, just feeling kind of sick, but...okay. He leaned against Shuuichi and sighed again before speaking quietly. “...I used to think about running away a lot, growing up. Joining D.I.C.E., becoming an acrobat like my dad. Finding an orphanage in a faraway city, giving them a fake name, going to school like a normal kid. Or even just...disappearing.”

“...I could never do it, but…”

“...”

“...I’m really tired…”

“D.I.C.E., like the show at the museum?” Shuuichi said back, matching Kokichi’s volume, taking on the whole of the weight put against him as he just tried to be somewhere soft and stable for Kokichi to be. “...I could see that. I think you’d have done great in a group like that. You even remind me a little bit of that guy on the microphone...I think they missed out on the fact that you didn’t…”

Shuuichi had thought about running away as a kid too, sometimes...had even left the castle one night. His mentor had fetched him back and sat him down and told him seriously, ‘if they know you can disobey, they’ll send you back to finish the job…is that what you want?’

He had been too scared to consider it, after that...which was maybe silly, looking back at it. Obeying, because you were afraid of being made to obey...wasn’t the end result the same either way?

He didn’t say all that, but he did say, “Do you know the multiverse theory? ...I don’t know if I believe it myself, but sometimes I take comfort in the idea that there’s versions of myself out there that made different choices. Like...like there was a version of reality where you left the castle as a kid and joined that orphanage, and me and Maki and, well, maybe even Kaito...maybe we had run for the border? Got to Dicea and just happened to be put into the same orphanage? Maybe we’d grow up together and as a teenager D.I.C.E. came to town and we got to...take you to your audition to them and cheer you on and…”

Shuuichi laughed, blushing slightly. “Sorry... I know that’s all a bit fanciful...I just like to think about stuff like that...if it’s okay with you, can I try to pick you up and put you on the bed? You just looked a little dizzy earlier and...once you're on the bed I can go get you some water…is that okay?”

Kokichi hummed with a slight nod, the corner of his lips turning up just a little. Even for a daydream, joining D.I.C.E. was a little too much fantasy. Ikuo had taught him a lot, but being able to move and perform like they did for hours on end? He didn’t have the stamina for that and likely never would. ...but it had still been nice to imagine him all dressed up in their uniform, swinging and flying through the air, barely looking like the trapezes were doing anything. He had always imagined Ikuo would still be proud of him. 

But now… The daydream of getting to grow up with Shuuichi and Kaito and Maki...getting to be kids properly, not having expectations and the eyes of nations on them...it sounded nice. 

But it wasn’t them. 

Reaching up, Kokichi gently transferred Shuuichi’s hat back to him, and Kokichi offered him a small, tired smile. “When would I ever turn down a chance to be closer to Shuu-chan? And we both know you’re more than strong enough to carry me.”

“Well, I just wanted to be sure...and Kaito did cover me in muscle relaxant maybe forty minutes ago now. I could collapse. We don’t know,” Shuuichi said, smiling hesitantly at Kokichi, trying to lighten the mood a little as he reached around to put one arm around Kokichi’s waist, and the other under his knees.

Shuuichi actually was expecting it to be somewhat difficult to get him up...but he always forgot how little Kokichi weighed, and they were up in a moment. Since he had him in his arms for a moment, Shuuichi kissed at the top of Kokichi’s forehead, before gently placing him back down on the bed. “Be right back,” he promised, going to collect a cup left in the room and filling it with sink water.

Bringing it back to Kokichi, he handed the water to him, before sitting down next to him, readjusting his returned hat, feeling better to have it again. 

“...do you want to talk about it?” Shuuichi asked, glancing over at Kokichi. “I know you’re tired but...I know sometimes I just want people to listen to me. Like you offered earlier...I want to offer that to you too. I’ll listen. If you want to talk…I would have offered earlier, but I was...I was kind of afraid you might have another attack if you didn’t sit down first...I just didn’t want anything to happen to you.”

Kokichi basked (reveled) in the kiss on his forehead, letting that affection in and trying to let it soothe the places in him that hurt. And...like when Kaito would curl around him, and when Ikuo used to lie him down and pet his hair in his lap, that love did help. 

Taking the water, Kokichi sipped at it before leaning against Shuuichi’s side again, wanting to be close. And…

“...I don’t have my thoughts sorted at all…” His gaze lowered, lips pulling back into a frown. But instead of thinking, Kokichi let the words fall from him. “...that’s what everyone’s afraid of. All the time. I’ll cut myself ‘cause I’m a huge, reckless idiot, and then I’ll bleed out. I’ll get too worked up and faint, and this time I won’t wake up. Or just...for no reason at all...I’ll just die…”

Kokichi held the cup close to his chest, bangs falling in his face and obscuring his eyes. “...obviously you have to do something about it, right? S’not right to kill me, and doing nothing would be condemning me to die so...there are rules. Based on healer after healed poking and prodding me, trying their best to fix what’s wrong with me...and some of them lie…”

“...I...feel like such a burden on everyone...and if not that, then a disappointment. Everyone has to go out of their way for me and I always just cause more problems… And...it’s not like someone can just opt out, because if something happens to me, which something always does, there will inevitably be someone lamenting if there was just one more person there…”

“Can’t upset Kokichi, ‘cause he’ll die,” Kokichi huffed, feeling exhaustion weigh on him. “But can’t let him do what he wants, ‘cause he’ll die. So just...lock him in a room and he’ll tire himself out. Knock him out so we don’t have to deal with a tantrum. Don’t listen to him, it’s for his own good. If you feel guilty, just know that this is keeping him alive.”

Kokichi slumped against Shuuichi a little more as he let go of a deep sigh. “...sometimes I wish I’d died when my mom did...or that I’d died instead of her. Maybe Aiichi would be happier then. Maybe everyone wouldn’t have to worry as much. Maybe they could’ve chosen a proper heir so no one would worry about who’s going to replace me when I die even before I get the chance to lead…”

Shuuichi listened quietly to all this, nodding his head every now and again, humming slightly, to show sympathy for something, or to express understanding on a point. It all sounded awful. Especially to be told, over and over and over again growing up, that you could die at any point...that must have been terrifying. What an awful thing for a child to know. For anyone to be reminded of, constantly.

And at the last bit…

He sighed. “Yeah.”

“It probably wouldn’t have actually made anything better...everything I’ve seen suggests that you’ll do exceptionally well as a leader, and your people, or at the very least the staff, all seem to agree with that...but yeah,” he said, feeling exhausted on Kokichi’s behalf. “I can see why your mind would go there.”

Kokichi closed his eyes, bringing up his legs not quite to his chest, but mostly curled against Shuuichi’s. “...I really want to lead. To be a good leader. To...to make sure everyone’s taken care of and happy and...y-you know...all the stuff a leader’s supposed to do. ‘S why I never ran.”

Taking a shaky breath, Kokichi didn’t start crying again, but he felt just as emotionally raw as when he was. “...when I was fourteen...there was a healer that came to look at me...and he said I wouldn’t make it past fifteen. That I had less than a year to live.” Another breath, a swallow, a shallow sniffle. “T-turns out he was just a dick. Tried to kill me by stressing me out, then immediately went to Aiichi, talking about his niece wh-who was voted class president every year she’d been in school… Nearly succeeded with the first part of that, the bastard…”

Taking another sip of water, Kokichi took another moment to breathe. “...he had his medical license revoked, is banned from leadership positions. He lied to me, but…”

“...I don’t think anyone talks about it, but...I...get the impression most people think I’m not going to live very long…” ...he didn’t think he’d have a very long life, despite what he tried to be optimistic about. The constant wear on his body from a faulty set of lungs and heart...he knew enough about health to know that wasn’t a good sign. 

“...I want to prove them wrong but...how can I earn trust if everyone thinks I’m just going to have to be replaced… If they think I’m just stuck in bed all the time; if I’m...unreliable and temperamental and...unfit…” He sighed deeply. “...I’m so tired… I’m trying to be the person everyone needs me to be, but when I am that person and they’re still looking? I’ll never stop trying but...there’s only so much I can do… I’m one person… I’m twenty… Shuu-chan...I’m so tired…”

Shuuichi listened to this…

“...we could still run, if we wanted,” he said. Entirely sincere. “It’s not too late.”

...then he sighed. “I know. You don’t want to do that. You...you’re going to lead Dicea...but…”

Shuuichi moved the brim of his hat, frowning, thinking, bringing up one leg to steady himself as he said to Kokichi, “...have you...ever considered you might be overcompensating a little bit?”

“You’re the heir apparent, but that doesn’t make you king. It doesn’t even make you a leader. You’re still just...a student learning. And you’re a young student learning. You’re twenty. And...you’re doing it alone. Working on letters for serious issues that require serious answers, by yourself. That’s a lot for...for anyone? That would drive even totally healthy people into stress-induced fainting and early heart attacks. That’s a lot to ask, Kokichi. Is that...typical? Of the Ouma family? To...to work by yourself? Make decisions alone and research by yourself? To start taking on leadership responsibilities before you’ve actually taken the role of leadership? I mean...I know back in Luminary, Byakuya took on several projects, but that was because he wanted to. And he never worked alone. But Kaito, in turn, never took anything on. Just pursued his own passions. It didn’t seem to matter either way. So...”

Shuuichi looked sadly at his good, caring, exhausted boyfriend. “Is this something you’ve just...taken on yourself? To prove yourself?”

“Because...if so...you don’t need to prove yourself to any of these people, Kokichi...you’re already worthy. They’ll see that when you’re king.” Shuuichi believed.

They could run, but Kokichi was dedicated to his future. And...there were probably other places in Dicea they could go. Maybe just leave the continent altogether. But...Kokichi was starting to feel like...the world was a lot less safe than he’d once thought. 

But at Shuuichi’s next point, Kokichi looked up at his boyfriend, confused, but listening. And… He pressed his lips together. “...it’s normal for the heir to start taking on duties long before they’re expected to lead. I started at fifteen. Aiichi...well, he was taken in at fourteen and became leader at sixteen while he was at a boarding school, so...like usual, he’s a weirdo. Other leaders before us...so many started in their teens and early twenties, even if that work was less administrative matters and more...traveling around, meeting people. Doing temp jobs around the country to figure out how they worked. Setting up seminars to explain agriculture to primary schools in cities. All sorts of stuff.”

...but they hadn’t been alone. It had always been important to acknowledge all the work everyone besides the leader did. No movement was ever on the back of one person. 

“...there are a lot of people who work on administrative matters here...I’m just one of them.” And. “...and...I-I… ...nothing is ever enough...there’s so much work to do...everyone’s busy… ...I like my work...a-and...if I ask for help...it’ll just be…” Kokichi looked down again, holding himself against Shuuichi. “...it’s the only thing I can do… If I don’t then...people would just do it all themselves, wouldn’t they. Save me the work. Just...leave me to be an unfit, useless leader in name only… Not that that’s not how some people see me anyway…” 

Shuuichi nodded, listening to this, just watching Kokichi for a while. That made sense, honestly. The people of this castle had a history of taking extreme views of care, when it came to Kokichi. At least, that was the impression Shuuichi got. Like how Maki was with him...but with the idea of that level of paranoia and restriction being a permanent way of life. Shuuichi constantly was asking for reassurance from Maki and Kaito that this wasn’t his new normal. That he was going to be allowed to be independent again someday. He couldn’t imagine being in a position where he asked that and the answer was a ‘no’...it’d drive him crazy. 

He wished he had some decent advice, for the balancing act of accepting and asking for help, without being literally controlled by over-zealous caretakers. He wasn't any good at that either…

...Maki though…

Shuuichi tried to view the situation from Maki’s perspective for a little bit...and tried, “You’re their royal heir...I know there’s a strong culture barrier between us. I know that doesn’t mean the same thing here it does back in Luminary...but if you need something done and don’t feel you can safely ask for it without serious repercussions to yourself? ...aren’t you largely everyone in this castle’s boss? Shouldn’t you just order them to assist you in the things you need, and command them to stop for the things you don’t?”

Or, in Maki’s case, threaten to kill them if she didn’t get the things she needed, and threaten to maim them if they tried to harass her in any way. Shuuichi sometimes thought Maki would have been a natural leader, in another life. He and Kaito had talked about it before, musing over her possibly being a secretary when she was free, before ultimately admitting to themselves that the rest of society would never allow her to do it. She always got people to do what she wanted, whether she had any real influence or power over them or not. She just...barroled through any opposition. Furiously stared down anyone trying to control or intimidate her who didn’t have the privileges of her conditioning. And even when they did have those privileges…

Shuuichi would never forget the one time he had seen Maki argue Byakuya out of a hit she had disagreed with. It had been actual madness, and Shuuichi, stuck in attention in the room waiting for his own assignment, had watched her furiously arguing in actual terror, waiting for Byakuya to order her silence and punish her. It had happened like that before. He hadn’t wanted to see her humiliated...but, this time, the heir apparent had listened. And had actually argued back, the two in heated debate whether the kill was necessary or even useful...and after awhile, Byakuya had dismissed her, telling her she was committing an insubordination and being a stubborn idiot on top of that...but he hadn’t ordered her to complete the hit before she left. Just leaving it alone.

It had been mind boggling, to watch that happen...if Kaito had even half that sheer stubborn drive and willingness to commit...if Maki had even had half of his chances to change things, growing up…

And, in Shuuichi’s mind...Kokichi needed some of that ruthless indifference of hers. Some of those demanding leadership skills, unafraid of how he would come across, just demanding the correct series of results.

At least...that was how Shuuichi wished he was, sometimes...especially in the last month. Nothing like this would have ever happened to Maki...not to Byakuya or Kaede either, thinking of it. They’d have never allowed Miss Toujou to order them out of a room without authority. Maki would have stared her down. Kaede would have simply smiled and told her ‘no’. Byakuya would have laughed at her…

...Shuuichi should have said something…

Kokichi frowned a little. He knew aggression wasn’t wholly a bad thing, but… “...not...really. Aiichi is their boss, but just because he’s charged with caring for the castle? It just happens that the person in charge of the castle is the leader. I’m just...a resident and employee of the government. And if I prove myself able and capable...I’ll be leader one day. Other than Maki-chan, I’m not really anyone’s boss.”

Feeling guilty and ashamed, Kokichi took a deep breath and hung his head. “...I can fight it. I do fight it. Someone saying no doesn’t mean much if you’re determined. That’s why I just...stopped asking. Took everything on myself. And when people try to stop me… They just have to block me until I’m too exhausted to do anything… Or they just move me away.”

Closing his eyes tightly, red bloomed on his cheeks. “...I...I didn’t want you to see her just...picking me up and taking me out of the room. I can fight a lot but...physically...pretty much everyone can overpower me. There’s nothing I can do…”

Shuuichi stared at his hands, picking at the nails beneath them...this was a dumb idea...he wasn’t going to want it...but Shuuichi...how could he just keep it to himself? When his boyfriend was feeling weak and helpless against someone who actually seemed willing to use those traits against him? Especially her…

Biting the inside of his lip, Shuuichi quietly, hesitantly spoke. “I have blackmail material on her,” he said, glancing at Kokichi nervously, “If you want it.”

“You wouldn’t have to use it,” he added in quickly, putting his finger in his mouth and biting a little nervously, forgetting himself. “But...if she knew you knew and suspected you’d use it? She’d probably be more careful around you. Risk upsetting you less. It could make things easier...”

Kokichi opened his eyes at that, glancing over at Shuuichi in slight shock. He had...blackmail material? On Kirumi? Did...he know her? Kokichi had no idea how that would work, and while he was kind of curious…

He sighed, closing his eyes and leaning against Shuuichi, making himself relax. “...thanks, but...if someone has a secret, it’s their business. I should...just talk to her. Explain that I’m...you know. An adult. Capable of taking care of myself. I just…” He tensed again, hand gripping tightly around the glass. “...got so pissed. And I didn’t...wanna blow up at her. Have a fit.” Prove her right. 

“...I just need to have a regular conversation with her. I’m sorry I lost my head back there...and now. But thank you for listening and dealing with me.” Sighing more softly, Kokichi pressed a kiss to Shuuichi’s cheek. “I love you.”

Shuuichi relaxed slightly, relieved...he didn’t want to make an enemy out of this woman. Hell, she might not even...well, no, the idea that she didn’t remember him was entirely not a possibility. But she might reasonably believe he didn’t remember her. He had been a kid when he knew her. It was entirely reasonable he’d have forgotten her by now. There was safety in that assumption. 

...but honestly, how could he have forgotten her?  She had to know he knew who she was! She had almost killed his mentor till he had thrown himself between them! That wasn’t the sort of thing you forgot!

...he understood how Maki didn’t recognize her. She only started spending any real amount of time in the castle at ten. Before that? Miss Toujou was, at best, maybe someone she spotted every now and again when visiting the castle with her mentor in between missions and training, when he felt like bringing her and her two co-assassins-in-training along.

But Kaito?

How on earth had Kaito not mentioned by now to Shuuichi that he had seen Head Secretary’s Tengan’s Indentured housekeeper and Byakuya’s nanny, the woman famous for her effenciency and ruthlessness, not to mention her manic, incredibly violent escape, walking around the fucking castle!?? She was still considered among Luminary’s law enforcement a high priority escape! The head secretary still got an update once a year on how that case was going! Byakuya listened in on those reports with interest!

This was bad. Shuuichi had to hope that she would assume he didn’t recognize her. He didn’t want to dare think of what she’d do if she thought he’d send word back to Luminary that he had worked out where she was hiding all this time. This was bad.

...and if Kokichi didn’t want to know, Shuuichi shouldn’t tell him. The less people who knew, the safer everyone was. Miss Toujou wasn’t above cutting down everyone and anyone in her way, if it meant her freedom. She had already proven that once.

Shuuichi gave Kokichi another sad look as he gave him a kiss on his cheek, and said, “Okay...but I promise, next time? If someone tries to do that to you again? I won’t back down. I’ll back you up, whatever it is you choose to do about it. I promise. I love you too.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me, Shuu-chan.” It was then that Kokichi actually started to relax, feeling the fear and panic ebb away in the face of Shuuichi’s affection. Though, it left him...really tired…

Kokichi glanced over at the food Kirumi had brought up for him, just...not hungry in the slightest. Settling himself to lie against Shuuichi more bonelessly, Kokichi sighed. “...do you think I could get away with taking a nap before eating? I will eat…’m just tired…” It was hard to have an appetite when he was upset...or exhausted, or busy, or distracted...but he’d eat! 

“...you could have my dessert if you wanted?” he said, trying to sway Shuuichi.

Shuuichi smiled softly at the way Kokichi leaned against him, feeling a little more secure as he did so. It was nice, being there for someone. Feeling like a positive presence in their life when they were going through something. It had the lovely side benefit of making himself feel more confident. Less of a fuckup. 

It was nice.

“Yeah, I think it’d be okay for you to sleep for a bit,” Shuuichi said, not as concerned about Kokichi’s eating habits as Maki and Kaito were. He’d eat when he was hungry, Shuuichi hoped. Or at least when he felt better, he’d eat. And hopefully he’d feel better soon, and get his appetite back. “The food will still be here when you wake up. Maybe I’ll help you eat it later, we can go halfsies on it? Though, that dessert is a temptatio…”

Shuuichi’s voice trailed off.

He stared at the wall for a while...flexing his hands every now and again...tighten his grip...loosen it...tighten…

Don’t say anything don’t say anything don’t say anything you will never get another chance!!!

Just let him fall asleep! For fuck’s sake Shuuichi just keep your stupid, whore mouth shut!! Both Maki and Kaito were out of the castle! Hajime was downstairs! Nao didn’t work here anymore and Seiko was likely at her pharmacy! For fuck’s sake! Let him go to sleep!!

...he...he had just promised to never take advantage of him again...what would this be but another version of that…

“...fuck.” Shuuichi cursed, putting his head in his hands.

“...if you want to sleep, we can’t stay in here,” Shuuichi finally admitted quietly. Furious with himself.

Maybe it’d be easier if he could split the food with Shuuichi. Kokichi could eat when he wasn’t hungry, but it usually just made him feel worse. Not eating as much would probably help that. And it would soothe Kaito and Maki’s concerns, probably. 

Considering that, Kokichi took a second to register that Shuuichi had abruptly cut himself off, confused until… “Oh...right.”

Kokichi just pouted for a bit before he sighed. “You doses… It makes me proud that you brought it up, but...yeah, you’re right. Precautions and all that.” Twisting a little to set his glass of water on a nightstand, Kokichi stretched out along the bed and wrapped his arms around Shuuichi’s waist, resting his head on his hip. “Sucks…”

“...I think I can stay up until Kai-chan comes back. Can I lounge on ya until then? M tired and cuddling up to Shuu-chan’s sexy body will just tempt me, I know, but I’ll stay awake. Would that be alright?”

Shuuichi felt that sick, desperate temptation eat at him some more...if he sat here and quietly ran his hand through Kokichi’s hair...maybe he’d fall asleep by accident? And Shuuichi could, very quietly, very carefully, figure out where his doses were...h-he wouldn’t take all of them! He wouldn’t run with them! He’d just have a little more today! Just enough to feel the burn again! To feel better!  To feel strong and happy...

“You can lie with me. Just...please try not to fall asleep,” Shuuichi said, putting his hand through Kokichi’s hair. Maybe he would though...he could just have a few more of the stickers...no one would have to know...he’d figure out some way to hide it… “It’s gonna be too hard for me to talk myself out of being stupid if you fall asleep…I want them all the time, Kokichi...”

“I’ll stay awake,” Kokichi promised, giving Shuuichi a little squeeze. He was tired, but...for Shuuichi’s well-being, he could stay awake just a little longer. Enough for Kaito to come back and...maybe his lovers would appreciate some semi-alone time while he napped. He enjoyed his time with both of them, but there was something nice just being one-on-one too. And...maybe there were some things that would be easier to talk about if he wasn’t listening. 

And, well. He knew it wouldn’t be the worst thing if Shuuichi found his doses, since they were all placebo now. But that was only comforting in the way that he knew Shuuichi wouldn’t set back his progress in getting clean. The psychological strain? No way he was leaving Shuuichi to contend that on his own. Fighting with himself to take the doses, maybe convincing himself that he was back on the spores, the guilt from taking them…

He sighed softly, placing a kiss on Shuuichi’s hip. “...I’m sorry Shuu-chan has to go through this. I’ve never struggled with addiction but...I’ve read over proposals for rehabilitation groups, and I’ve heard people talk about their loved ones. It’s really awful… I wish I could do something more to help you, but...giving you more spores would just make it worse.”

It wouldn’t, it wouldn’t, it would make everything so much better, he’d be more careful this time, he’d keep his doses low, he wouldn’t hurt anyone o-or allow anyone to hurt him, he wouldn’t have that fucking rod inside him o-or the cock ring, he’d be able to control himself, it would be fine, he could handle it he-

“Yeah...I know…thank you, Kokichi. Staying with me helps more than you probably think…”

Time went by. They talked little by little bit, most of it inconsequential, just trying to keep Kokichi awake. Every now and again Shuuichi would go silent, or impossibly quiet, trying to soothe Kokichi into falling asleep in his lap, giving into his temptations...but either Kokichi would suddenly speak up, or Shuuichi would think better of it and say something, bringing him back from the brink.

Maybe another half hour went by, and there was a small knock at the door, Shuuichi sighing in relief when Kaito’s voice came through the wood. “Hey...you guys in here?” Finally. The temptation was gone…

“Yeah, we’re in here, Kaito,” Shuuichi called out. He gave Kaito a little wave when his boyfriend opened the door and peeked his head in, clearly uncertain what kind of mood he was returning to, somewhat relieved to see the atmosphere relatively calm. Coming in, holding some bags which he put aside, one of the bags clearly clanking with glass knocking against each other, he said, “Everything good? Sorry I disappeared on you...needed some air...aw, ‘Kichi...you didn’t eat at all?” Kaito asked guiltily, seeing the full plate on the folding table.

Kokichi let out a pleased little hum when he heard Kaito’s voice, turning his head to look at the door but otherwise staying in Shuuichi’s lap. He was very comfortable...but also pretty drowsy, and he was looking forward to that nap. 

“S’okay...glad you’re back.” Covering a yawn, Kokichi gave his husband a soft smile when he was done. “I am planning on it...but I’m too tired to eat right now...but I didn’t wanna leave Shuu-chan alone. So...sorry, right when you’ve come back...but I’m gonna take a nap, if that’s alright with you. Ideally...I’d like both Shuu-chan and Kai-chan as pillows and heaters, but you don’t have to stick around to watch me. Jus’...sleepy…”

Kokichi let his blinks get slower as he nuzzled against Shuuichi, sprawled out in bed and looking forward to recharging for a little bit. 

“If you don’t think me and Kaito talking would keep you up?” Shuuichi said, still running his hands through Kokichi’s hair, enjoying the feeling of Kokichi curled up against him, while he sat up a little, leaning on a pile of pillows. “Cause we have to stay up...or, one of us does anyway. We could leave if we disturb you…”

Kaito looked between the two and gave a sort of exasperated chuckle. “Disturb Kokichi while he’s sleeping? Trust me, Shuuichi, that’s actually tougher than it sounds. Guy sleeps like a rock, when he’s really out of it.”

Getting onto the bed, sitting up on the other side of him, leaning against the headboard, Kaito settled in as he said, “Go ahead and sleep, babe...it’s okay. We’ll watch over ya.”

It was funny. Both Shuuichi and Kaito felt a flash of guilt at that. Kokichi literally surrounded by the two men who had both, independently, attempted to molest him in his sleep and, again, alone, were trying to find ways to cope with the side of themselves that had allowed them to pursue such a thing. It was a shame it wasn’t something they knew about each other. And, again...just kinda funny that they didn’t.

Two guilty sleep molesters...Kokichi really knew how to pick ‘em...even if he had only actually picked one of them.

Kokichi snorted softly and reached out when Kaito joined them on the bed, patting around a little before he found one of Kaito’s hands, giving it an affectionate squeeze before he settled himself more. Surrounded by two of his favorite people, able to trust that Kaito would keep Shuuichi from looking for the doses, trusting that Shuuichi was one of the best people in the world to help Kaito sort through what was going through his head. And...trusting that they loved him. 

The best apology was changed behavior, and Kokichi really believed the promises his guys had made to him. Shuuichi was getting clean, Kaito was trying to be better. In both of them he saw such amazing potential, such love and kindness, and...he was going to expect that they act on that. 

So, when Kokichi snuggled and settled himself between his lovers, his sigh of, “Love you both...g’night,” was without restriction or stipulation. 

The boys waited for a while, listening to the familiar sounds of Kokichi falling asleep. Those small snuffles, those little twitches in his body as he started to fall into the first dream that he usually never remembered in the morning, before eventually his twitches settled and he was still...just mindlessly grasping onto the nearest source of heat, otherwise deeply lost in the landscape of the void. Comfortable there. A long time inhabitant.

After about fifteen, twenty minutes, Kaito said, “So, I got the champagne and scotch…”

“I was joking, Kaito,” Shuuichi said, though he knew that was partly a lie. It had been a fantasy scenario, himself and Maki enjoying celebrating the demise of their former tormentors...but not one he had actually intended to seriously pursue. “It was a mean joke. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine...you both hated my parents. For a lot of...a lot of good reasons...they weren’t very nice to you,” Kaito said quietly, resting his head on the headboard, looking over at Shuuichi from the corner of his eye, something tired and, still, exasperated in his expression. “It’s okay that you’re not exactly rolling over with grief at the idea of their funerals. They’re not worth grieving over anyway.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“Byakuya said that. They’re his parents too. He’s just as biased towards them as I am. If he says it, then that means I’m just...misunderstanding something…”

“I think your brother has his own biases towards your parents,” Shuuichi replied, though he kinda wasn’t up to trying to coax Kaito into seeing that. Again, he tried to do what he could to chip away at it when he could, but...he was still kinda mad at him... still, not enough to put the guy through one of his spirals, so he sighed and changed the subject. “Thanks for going to buy it either way, I suppose...but I’m still sorry I joked about it. You’re right. You did just get into a lot of trouble because someone else did that too.”

Shuuichi laughed. “I guess I should just be glad you didn’t punch me out, huh?”

“It’s different if it’s you,” Kaito said simply. 

“Yeah...yeah, I know it is...” Shuuichi sighed, glancing down at Kokichi as he said, “Do you think it confused him? I have a feeling that sentiment doesn’t cross the border…”

Kaito shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t care...he can think whatever he wants.”

As he said this, he glanced at Kokichi to make sure he was still asleep, before looking back at the far wall like he hadn’t done that.

“You’re still mad, huh,” Shuuichi said, adjusting the brim of his hat higher on his forehead, feeling comfortable. He wasn’t afraid of Kaito’s ire. Just his temper. If he wasn’t slamming doors or punching walls or, ya know, people? Things were under control.

“No…” Kaito said, tensing...before sighing. “I already promised Kokichi I wouldn’t attack Nao. Why do I have to, I don’t know...pretend like I don’t want to?”

“I didn’t ask you to pretend you like Miss Nao-”

“Please stop calling her that. She doesn’t deserve that title. She doesn’t deserve your respect.”

“I love her.”

“Fuck, Shuuichi…”

“And I hate her,” Shuuichi said simply, running his thumb up and down Kokichi’s shoulder lightly. Something deeply sad in him. “I hate her so much that sometimes just thinking about how much I hate her makes me want to scream.”

“...” Kaito gave Shuuichi a long, confused look, before running his hand over his face, covering his eyes with a frustrated groan. “...I don’t know what to do with that…”

“I’m telling you, as someone who hates her...please just...it scares me. When you talk about how much you want to kill her.”

“I don’t even talk about it!”

“Kaito. Shhh. Kokichi, remember?”

“I...she’s...she hurt you...I have a responsibilit-”

“She saved me, Kaito. She did it in the worst way possible...but no one else was doing it. I lost my mind, Kaito. She hurt me. A lot. But she didn’t leave me to destroy myself. That has to account for something.”

“I don’t understand why I have to change my mind when I already agreed to physically never-”

“She’s Maki.”

Kaito froze. Staring at Shuuichi in shock...before furrowing his brow, fury in his eyes, “No she’s no-”

“She is. Maybe that’s not a one-to-one comparison, not a perfect example...but she’s Maki. Maki was ready to take her place, when she realized what was going on. She was ready to step in and just do what she was doing. Kokichi and Nao had to talk her into just supervising. Doing something just...really terrible...because she’s convinced it’s the best way forward. That’s a Maki trait.”

“...it’s different when it’s Maki. Maki loves us.”

“Us?”

-the sound of electricity-

“...yeah. I just mean, you know...it’s more understandable, something like that coming from her. I would understand it, if it was Maki doing it to help you. I don’t know Nao. I don’t give a shit about her. She had no right-”

“Neither did Seiko.”

“...Seiko didn’t touch yo-”

“I was hungry and thirsty and alone and scared and helpless and out of my mind and honestly, genuinely convinced that eating my own cum was good enough for the day because that’s how entirely out of it I was. I was in desperate need of help. You know what she did in response? To help me?” Shuuichi said. Staring calmly at Kaito. Something almost kind in his voice as he showed Kaito his own biases. “She reminded Miss Nao that she should give me water. Because I couldn’t get it for myself. That was how she helped me. But Seiko you forgave in a second, and Miss Nao-”

“Nao.”

“...and Nao you still talk about like you want to wring her neck...just because you had a brief chance to get emotionally attached to Seiko the day before everything came into the light. If you really want to defend me, make me ‘safer’, then don’t you have a responsibility to hate her too?”

“...it’s different, it’s...it’s…”

“All you're doing by holding onto this grudge the way you are? It’s just hurting me and Kokichi. Kokichi loves her too. She’s family to him.”

“Kokichi has no standards.”

“And you have a hard time letting go of your first impressions.” Shuuichi sighed. “He should be more careful with his trust. So should you. Mis...Nao isn’t an enemy of mine. So she’s not an enemy of yours. She’s not an enemy. She doesn’t need defeating. And...that doesn’t stop being true even when my memories of her frighten me, or make me sad, or any of that. Maki planned to torture me to prolong my life and stabbed me in the shoulder. I forgave her.”

“They’re not the same. Maki can’t say n-”

“She wasn’t ordered to torture me, just to kill me. She planned to torture me because she thought it would help. She’s a little crazy, and not good at empathy. Neither is Nao. If you had gotten to know her the day before everything came to light? You’d agree with me.”

“...” Kaito ran his hand through his hair, looking...confused and conflicted...before glancing uncomfortably at Shuuichi. “...you were dehydrated and Seiko didn’t do anything for you?”

“I think she gave me some pills that helped? I was just putting whatever she gave me in my mouth, so I don’t really know. And Nao started giving me water after that.”

“...do you...want me to attack Seiko?”

“No. Do you want to attack Seiko?”

“...no.” Kaito sighed, crossing his arms, glancing down as Kokichi shifted forward a little, trying to reclaim more heat from his hip. “No, I guess I don’t...you...you might have a point...I don’t know. I still don’t feel good about it.”

Shuuichi shrugged, giving Kaito a tired smile. “Me neither. What fucking crazy bitches those two are, right?”

Kaito barked a small, surprised laugh. “...Fuck, yeah they are. Seriously, what were you calling them back at lunch the other day? The Psycho team or whatever? Absolutely right. Total psychos. Pfff. And I’m the one getting therapy…”

“Actually, Nao’s going to therapy for it now too. I guess she reported herself as some sort of domestic abuser? I wasn’t happy about it, but...I don’t know...she does kinda need help…”

“She’s doing it too, huh? ...well, I’m glad she’s at least owning up to it all herself. Fuck knows no one else seemed to think she did anything wrong,” Kaito muttered.

“I think they did. Diceans just aren’t as…” how had Kokichi referred to it? “...culprit based as us? I don’t know. They don’t seem to see a point in pinning the blame on someone in any, like, immediate way. Just another culture thing I guess.”

“Well, they need to quit that shit. I was starting to feel crazy. I couldn’t understand why no one else seemed to care…”

“They do care. Just...in their own ways…”

“...alright. Fine.” Kaito sighed, looking Shuuichi in the eye. “She’s not an enemy. She’s just...another psycho. And was still way out of line-”

“Yep,” Shuuichi agreed darkly.

“-...but she’s not an enemy. Okay? That’s what you were hoping for from me, right? She’s not an enemy. I don’t need to defeat her.”

“Yeah.” Shuuichi nodded, giving Kaito a warm look. “That’s what I was hoping for...thanks Kaito…”

“Still don’t mean I have to like her.”

“Oh yeah, no doubt. Fuck her.”

“Pff. No thanks. She’s hideous. I’d rather try to figure out how to fuck you.”

“Kaito.”

“You gotta give me a chance, man! I just need practice! I can absolutely get you down my throat and inside me! It’s just gonna take some doing!”

“You are going to get yourself hurt. It’s fine. I don’t need you to do those things.”

“But I really, really want to.”

Shuuichi rolled his eyes, smirking a little. “Fine...but maybe not around Kokichi. He doesn’t need to see you whining like a little baby because you realize that the Beast isn’t gonna fit.”

“Next time we’re alone. Got it.”

“That is not what I said.”

“I am totally gonna be able to take you by the time we’re done. It’s gonna be great.”

“Maybe you’re the psycho…”

And the two went on like that for a while. A long conversation, to be sure, but it had gotten them where they needed to be. The situation still wasn’t perfect. Kaito still felt defensive on Shuuichi’s behalf, and Shuuichi was still dealing with his own conflicting feelings on Nao that Kaito’s aggression hadn’t been helping at all...but they both understood each other better now, on the situation, and that would help. It would make all the difference.

Kokichi probably could’ve just slept for the rest of the day, but he didn’t want to. It was mid-afternoon and there was plenty of day left for getting work done and...eating...and spending time with his boyfriends and greeting Maki and Tim when they came back and… There was just more to do than sleeping, alright?

After almost an hour and a half, Kokichi’s snuffles broke rhythm as he stretched out, shuffling closer to the warmth closest to him. As it happened, he’d tucked his legs against Kaito while burying his face in Shuuichi’s tummy, greedily trying to indulge in both sources of heat at the same time. Waking up, Kokichi blinked sleepily at Shuuichi’s shirt before looking up at him. 

“Nmm… Mornin’...”

Unable to resist, Kokichi kissed Shuuichi’s stomach before rolling over to sit up, stretching out his neck. And, because it wasn’t fair not to, Kokichi placed a kiss on Kaito’s cheek, fondly smiling at his husband. “Hey… Now that I’m more awake--welcome back! How was town?”

Kaito shrugged, giving Kokichi a fond grin as he accepted his kiss, he and Shuuichi in the middle of discussing a thought experiment based on the multiverse theory, which had somehow spiraled into Shuuichi trying hard to explain Quantum Theory to Kaito, who was pretty lost right up until anti-matter was brought up, and Kaito started excitedly filling in the details with his knowledge of black holes, and then the two discussed that maybe black holes were universes colliding with each other, and Kaito had been really into the discussion till he started wondering how Atua fit into the multiverse theory, and were there multiple Atua’s, or did he watch over all of them, or were some universes abandoned…

It was a fun thought experiment more than any serious contemplation, and they dropped it when Kokichi woke up, and likely wouldn’t pick it up again later.

“It was alright. Crowded. All the people returning from the front lines making a notable difference in the marketplace,” he said, reaching over to hug Kokichi, giving him a kiss on his lips in return before letting him go.

“Anyone give you any trouble?” Shuuichi asked, assuming no, since Kaito hadn’t brought it up yet himself. Still, Kaito could be a little strange about stuff like that. It was usually worth asking.

Kaito shook his head. “Nah. I had one guy come up to me to confirm who he thought I was, but he didn’t do anything about it. Just confirmed it and left. It was fine. I didn’t really linger in any one place long, and people were busy with their own stuff, ya know? Oh!”

He got up, heading to the bags he had put down, picking up the one full of newly bought sweets. “I noticed your candy pile was getting low, ‘Kichi. Want me to put this in your desk?”

It would certainly be a difference. Kokichi had been five when the war started and he’d never left the castle even for festivals at that point. He honestly had no idea how the city used to look...but he was happy for the return of so many residents. It would be a positive difference, he was sure. 

More people that would probably be uncomfortable with not just his Dicean-Luminaries, but any visiting Luminaries too. But that was inevitable. Their countries were cooperating, and that was the goal of peace. Not to completely shut down the Dicean border. It would be slow and likely full of hardship, but...coexistence was key. He believed in his people--it would be okay. 

Kokichi perked up, looking over the bag of candy with a gluttonous sort of glee before nodding. “Aw, Kai-chan… That’s sweet of you, thanks. Yes, please! And, remember, feel free to have any you want, especially since you’re the one who bought all this, but you too, Shuu-chan! Really, it’s made me happy to be able to share sweets with someone who loves them almost as much as I do.”

“...but I should probably eat a solid meal before any candy, huh.” With a sigh, Kokichi got up and walked over to the tray of food, this now cold too, though he really didn’t mind. It looked like Kirumi had made him a grilled chicken sandwich and some sweet mashed potatoes with plantain chips along with a small cup of grapes on the side. Not bad to eat cold at all. 

Picking up the cup of grapes, Kokichi popped one in his mouth, bringing over his desk chair to eat more easily. “Did you end up having the dessert, Shuu-chan? Was it good?”

“Are you kidding? I pointed it out to him, and he inhaled it in five seconds. I doubt he even tasted it,” Kaito said, chuckling at his friend, who just blushed slightly. 

“I tasted it...it was good…”

“It looked good! ...hey, ya know, I’ve been thinking about your new sweet tooth? Have you mentioned all the sugar you’ve been eating lately to Seiko? Cause, ya know...that’s new,” Kaito pointed out to him, brow furrowing slightly in concern at Shuuichi. “Like, you’ve never turned down a piece of candy before, but now you eat it like you need it. Have you noticed that?”

Shuuichi shrugged, scooting over to sit with Kokichi, glancing over at Kaito over his shoulder. “I don’t know...I just figured Dicean sweets taste better. And it doesn’t seem like a lot to me.”

Shuuichi then looked at Kokichi, smirked a little...and then opened his mouth, tapping his tongue with his finger. “Come on then,” he said, before opening his mouth again, “Be generous. First bite.”

Kokichi raised an eyebrow. Shuuichi’s love for sweets was...new? Or just...pumped up. Maybe it really was just a difference in Dicean sweets though, because it hadn’t seemed to him like Shuuichi’s enjoyment had changed any since he knew the man. And wasn’t his weight gain from the spores? Or had he misunderstood that? 

But, in any case, Shuuichi really wasn’t eating that many sweets, so it probably wasn’t a big deal. 

Not as big as how regularly they both ended up skipping meals, anyway. Huffing a laugh, Kokichi made room for Shuuichi and scooped up some sweet potato on a chip, bringing it over to Shuuichi’s awaiting mouth. “You know you could’ve eaten while I was asleep? Or did you just want me to feed you? I’ll tell ya, Kai-chan’s good at it too.”

Over Shuuichi’s shoulders, Kokichi sent his husband a fond look. “It’s still embarrassing...but I really do appreciate all your help when I’m sick, Kai-chan. Looks like I’m giving you practice for other situations too though.”

“Other situations?” Kaito asked, a little confused as to what Kokichi meant...before his face burnt hot, watching Kokichi feed Shuuichi, who was staring patiently down at him, taking his time eating his bite and looking satisfied with it when he was done, a little smile on his face.

“Thanks, Kokichi,” Shuuichi said, glancing over at Kaito with that calm, indifferent expression he wore so beautifuly sometimes...and smirking at Kaito. “Pervert. We’re just trying to eat a meal here.”

“Stop giving me weird fetishes!”

Kokichi sighed as he took a chip for himself, munching as he gave both his lovers an amused look. “You know, I was talking about being able to, like, feed people other than me, but I should’ve expected Shuu-chan to make it a leading statement and for Kai-chan to take it like that. You’d think us literally licking honey off your body would’ve done it more than this.”

It had been fun last time, at least. If that was the path they’d take, he didn’t think he’d mind bringing food into the bedroom. He wasn’t sure how into it he’d be for actually feeding, and if it was “real food” and not candy but...they’d figure it out. 

And...it wasn’t the worst thing if Kaito got himself a little riled up. Kokichi had been thinking about getting intimate again soon anyway.

Picking up half of the sandwich, Kokichi took a bite, humming softly as he enjoyed the taste and...fine, he did feel a little better with something in his stomach. He knew that just because he wasn’t hungry didn’t mean he didn’t need food, but...it was just hard to feel motivated to eat sometimes. Some of his playfulness faded as he tipped his head against Shuuichi’s arm, swallowing before murmuring, “Hey...I’m sorry for scaring you earlier. I know you guys worry about my eating habits and all that… But thanks for taking care of me, Shuu-chan.”

“You’re good, Kokichi,” Shuuichi said, staying where he was but not asking for any more bites. Just intending to make Kokichi laugh if he felt himself losing his appetite again. He wasn’t really all that hungry himself. He kinda wanted that bag of candy more than anything. “You don’t eat when you don’t feel good. That’s a fairly simple cause and effect. Assuming that from now on you’re usually feeling at least okay? You should be fine. In the long term, anyway.”

Kaito hesitated, a flash of worry at that mentality...it...it sometimes took...kind of a lot...to make Kokichi feel okay…

But that thought felt a little unkind. He wasn’t sure if it was. But it felt bad to think it. So he dismissed the thought. Besides! There was...there was every reason to think the worst was behind them! Probably! Maybe?

Kokichi went quiet for a moment, taking another bite of the sandwich as he mulled over what Shuuichi had said. It wasn’t something new to him, but how Shuuichi explained it… “...I just don’t have much of an appetite, sometimes. I know that it’s...probably just some weird brain stuff keeping me from realizing I am hungry, but...it’s hard to realize that in the moment. It just feels like I’m fine.”

He sighed, taking a sip of water. “...I’ll try to be better about it. With you guys, Maki-chan, and my dad, I don’t think you’ll let me forget it.” It helped to be able to have a social meal without having to be near Aiichi. Without having to be around people who only saw him as a fragile little thing. With friends who joked and chatted as they ate, and...really, just cared about him and wanted him to be healthy. 

...it wasn’t weird that he was friends with the three of them. 

After a moment, Kokichi noticed himself getting stuck in his head again and made good on his vow, making himself eat a few more grapes. 

-

The three had been enjoying each other's company, but Kokichi had started glancing at his desk. First just once, then a couple more times. His expression becoming more and more troubled every time he did...until finally Shuuichi, who had been noting this, said, “Do you need to do something, Kokichi?”

“Ah, nah… I should probably actually get done with my work though…” Kokichi twirled a few longer pieces of his hair, grinning a tad sheepishly with a streak of nervousness at his lovers. “Like I said, nothing is really time-sensitive, but...I did accept the letters. Because I have them, it means no one else is working on them and...I mean...I should probably get them done before tonight…”

Glancing between Shuuichi and Kaito again, Kokichi asked, “Would you guys mind? I’ll be quiet.”

“I mean, ‘course ‘Kichi. If you have work to do, don’t let us stop you…”

“If any of the letters require a lot of research, I’m still offering,” Shuuichi said, considering the pile of letters on Kokichi’s desk. “Again, it would give me something to do. Not doing anything else.”

Kaito bit his lip for a second, giving Shuuichi an uncomfortable look. It was awesome that his boyfriend wanted to help his husband do some important work stuff! Kaito was really into that! But…

...he really didn’t want to sit there and watch them do it. He didn’t feel good. He didn’t...he couldn’t handle dealing with that insecurity in any healthy way right now. He had already made an ass of himself earlier throwing a fucking tantrum at them over...well, things he’d didn’t feel as confident about anymore. 

His nerves were a little raw, okay? He needed to get back to zero...he just...didn’t want to go through the process it usually took to get there.

So, delaying it for another day, he said, “I think I’m gonna go to my shrine, if you guys are going to work. I don’t want to distract anything, and my shrine is looking really good these days! I got pillows in there! ...right, if anyone asks who stole three of the giant pillows in what I can only assume was a maternity class…it wasn’t me.”

Shuuichi sighed...but noted that brief look of discomfort on Kaito’s face. He knew better than most people that Kaito’s endless confidence in people didn’t really translate to himself, not effortlessly anyway…

...Kaito had been willing to hear him out, eventually...willing to ease Shuuichi’s fears at the cost of his own discomfort for a while...was ready to admit Nao wasn’t an enemy…

Shuuichi smiled. A soft, fond feeling in him.  

Turning to Kokichi, he said, “If you make a list of stuff for me to research, I could help you out with it later. But I haven't prayed to Atua myself in a while. A trip to the shrine could be nice.”

Kaito blinked in shock, looking over at Shuuichi in stunned surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Shuuichi said with that same, fond smile. Turning to Kokichi, he said, “Unless you need me, Kokichi.”

Kokichi had looked to Kaito in concern for a moment, caught between wanting to reassure his husband again that, really! Kaito wasn’t a distraction! But he didn’t want Kaito to be bored either, if he didn’t want to try answering letters. And then when Shuuichi offered to go to the shrine too…

Kokichi gave his boyfriend a mildly surprised look before understanding softened his expression. “Nah, you guys check in with your god--I can handle business myself. Just don’t worry about coming back whenever you want! You guys aren’t distractions, and I enjoy your company. And, Kai-chan, this is your room. I never want to make you feel like you can’t be in here.”

Scooting his chair back over to his desk, starting to sort out his letters and materials, he gave his boys a bright, affectionate smile. “I love you guys. Have a good prayer session!”

Kaito grinned warmly at Kokichi, still, just, thrilled someone wanted to pray with him. No one ever wanted to pray with him! This was great!!

“Alright, babe! We’ll be back. Don’t work too hard, okay?” Kaito said, kissing him on his forehead, and then kissing his cheek, “Love you, babe!”

Heading to the door, he said to Shuuichi, “Come on, handsome! I really have cleaned up the place! It looks almost like a real shrine!”

“Isn’t any place you have a symbol of Atua that you bleed in front of a real shrine?” Shuuichi asked, almost amused by Kaito needing to have some sort of validity in a religion that toted easy worship as one of its pluses. Still, he knew what Kaito meant. There was a difference between sitting on the floor in front of a book and the ostentatious luxury of the official temples in Luminary. 

“I’m glad you found some cushioning for the ground, though. Should make things more comfortable.” He could be more obvious and...Shuuichi was finding that...he actually had the confidence to? After spending that afternoon with Kokichi and teasing Kaito earlier...at least right now, things didn’t hurt as much. Enough that Shuuichi trailed the tips of his fingers down Kaito’s arm. 

It would be pretty funny to see when Kaito caught on, though.

Kaito laughed sheepishly, leading the way up the stairs, just as thrilled as he always was when it came to Atua. And just distracted enough by his religious fervor to not notice a moment that, even if it wasn’t on purpose, would have usually still made Kaito blush. 

“Aw, come on...you know. I mean, Atua, appreciates all his shrines, but...it’s nice to make it look nice, ya know? Feels more, I don’t know...like a sincere gesture of worship? Not that I’m ever not sincere.” Kaito snorted, sounding amused by the idea.

Getting upstairs, Kaito took a quick, nervous look around...a lot of the returning fighters had rooms on this floor. In this wing, even...the storage closet was in a corner, and it was cushioned between an office that was presumably being used but Kaito never saw anyone go into, and a large event room that, again, presumably was being used, but Kaito never saw anyone in.  Maybe the events were being put on hold until the fighters were settled?

Either way, he didn’t spot anyone. Which was a relief. He didn’t want to move his shrine now that it was put together, but...the fourth floor west wing was a more awkward place for it now, considering who all of his neighbors were...it hadn’t been a problem yet, and he didn’t want it to be.

Getting to his shrine, he opened it up (maybe he should get a key for it? An easy way to mess with him would be to mess with his shrine, once people realized what the storage closet was), stepping inside to let Shuuichi in with a proud little, “Ta-da! Besides Maki seeing it briefly the day I got it, you’re the first person besides myself to ever be in here! What do you think? It looks nice, right?”

It was a fairly large closet, and a fairly small room. Most of the canvases that had been stored in there had been removed, though a nice, scenic painting that he had found among the canvases had been hung up, and as a weird bit of humor on Kaito’s part, one of the canvases he had bled on had been hung up as well. There was a small, waist high table pressed into the back wall with a book, a small iron rock, and a wooden bowl with a knife next to it, the bowl filled a little bit with old blood. The table was covered in droplets and splashes of blood, but Kaito had made an effort to wipe down the floor and walls before stealing the pillows, three large pillows of red, purple, and blue, that Kaito had stolen from the ‘new parents yoga class’ he had found in one of the event rooms.

“It can’t hurt to make it more comfortable for you too. If you’re going to spend time in there praying, anything that makes it easier helps.” At least that was one thing he wasn’t worried about. Shrines and temples were well accustomed to sexual actions performed in them--it would be the exact opposite of sacrilege to Atua. 

Good, because it wasn’t like they really had anywhere else to go. Kokichi was in the princes’ bedroom, he’d already said no to doing anything in Maki’s room, and his… They could always find a spare room, but that would run the risk of someone coming in, and...Shuuichi could feel himself almost physically shy away from that thought. The shrine was at least private. 

Shuuichi looked around the small room, actually impressed with the size. He’d assumed a storage closet would be smaller. The light on the ceiling didn’t have the signs of neglect, the paint on the walls wasn’t chipping or peeling and...a vent, huh? Considering the closet’s location within the castle, it likely didn’t lead directly outside, but rather to a connecting main vent so...safe from gaseous sabotage. Anything that wouldn’t affect the rest of the castle, anyway. 

Shuuichi gave the familiar posters on the walls an amused look, not as reverant as Kaito was towards the imagery, but not shocked as Kokichi had been. 

“It looks nice, Kaito,” Shuuichi sincerely complimented, looking over the small room before coming back to Kaito’s side. “You’ve already broken it in with blood-letting but...what do you say about breaking it in in other ways?”

Kaito blinked stupidly at Shuuichi for a moment...before his face went red and his grin widened into an excited giggle. “Oh my god...Shuuichi Saihara! Did you just use my place of worship as a way to seduce me!?”

Kaito reached out to put an arm around his waist, pulling him closer, the door closing behind himself. Reaching back with his other arm to lock it before returning to Shuuichi, grinning down at him. “That’s new...you feeling frisky?” Kaito teased...before something concerned flashed across his face, saying with more reservation, “You’re not, uh...you’re not feeling some old symptoms again, are you? This doesn’t feel like that?”

Shuuichi smirked, his nerves and doubts eased by Kaito’s giggle. He didn’t think Kaito would turn him down, but it was much easier to remember that when brought face to face with Kaito’s lustful glee. “I’m far from the first person to do so.”

Coming close to Kaito easily, Shuuichi set one hand on Kaito’s bicep and brought the other to loosely lay on his shoulder, very ready to enjoy extended kisses with Kaito like he had done with Kokichi earlier. Though, likely with a very different tone. Kaito’s overwhelming passion versus Kokichi’s gentle affection. And...both were given and directed at him. They wanted to…

Sighing, Shuuichi brushed his lips across Kaito’s cheek, just shy of his lips. “No, this doesn’t feel like that. It’s...it’s nice. I love you and...I just felt like doing something? Is that how this usually goes? You feel love and then you want to kiss and touch. Make them happy...feel good…” His words got a little muddled as he gave into himself and kissed Kaito, slinging the arm that was on his shoulder around his neck to pull the prince in. 

Oof, that was true. Just because Kaito had never gone to a coming of age ceremony didn’t mean there hadn’t been plenty of moments where he had, uhhhh….’explored his faith’ with someone else. Smaller, more private rituals, or just straight up realizing the person he was praying next to was gorgeous and into him and, shit, look at that, the nearest prayer booth was empty!

But he had never done this with someone in his own, private shrine, and that felt...special. Really special, actually. The fact that it was Shuuichi? A happy, not feeling compelled by freaky plant spores Shuuichi? Wow.

Kaito grinned through the kiss, before pulling it together and kissing him properly, moving his hips in a small, back and forth sway with Shuuichi as he said between kisses, “Yeah, that’s about usually how that goes…” kiss, grin, “feel a little warmth in your chest? Some flutters in your stomach.” Longer kiss...sway… “...a little stirring in your groin because you can smell them and feel their skin and everything about them is so, so damn alluring…”

Kaito snuck some fingers up Shuuichi’s shirt, tracing the tops of his fingers down his lower back...before suddenly stopping and groaning, chuckling after a moment as he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Shuuichi’s shoulder. “Oh nooooo…I wish you had warned me sooner...I didn’t bring up the lube…your dick will actually kill me...”  

Everything Kaito explained suddenly made sense. He’d asked Kaito and Maki what attraction felt like to them plenty of times before and it had always...just seemed foreign, or not quite the way he felt it. But now? There was desire, affection, a long-standing love and trust that had just shifted into a new realm but was no less familiar. And now there was heat and excitement and Shuuichi found the slight sway Kaito was leading him into comfortable and just stirring up the flutter in his stomach and…

Shuuichi sighed. “The one time that mucus would’ve come in handy… I don’t suppose it would be so easy as to just will myself to do it.” Not that he’d even want to try if he could. The mucus hadn’t come back, the desperate need hadn’t returned, and while Shuuichi was still skeptical that it’d stay gone, the more days that passed...well, he wasn’t lining his underwear anymore. 

“There are other things we can do, right?” Shuuichi asked, discovering another new sensation in the frustration of being held by stopgaps. “Like when...last time, when Kokichi was grinding on top of me… That felt really good.”

Kaito snickered, looking adoringly at Shuuichi. “Yeah, we could definitely do that...but I did tell you, like, two hours ago that the next time I got you alone, we were going to figure out how to let you use The Beast. It’s a gift, Shuuichi! Have you seen that thing!? You literally swing a club around your waist! We gotta try some stuff with that!”

And, this was true! ...but, more importantly to Kaito? He didn’t want Shuuichi to look at his dick and see just another part of himself made deformed. Unusable. Oh, there was nothing wrong with grinding, of course! Or hand jobs either!  They could be really nice! And, hell, maybe they’d find out that Shuuichi was like Kokichi: just, pretty firmly a bottom just through preference. Which was also totally fine! Nine times out of ten, Kaito felt more comfortable being the one pushing in, the one prepping the other’s body until finally everything was ready and he could indulge himself fully. He loved that shit!

(...Mostly because it was, just really hit or miss if the person pushing into you was willing to take that time and effort to make sure it felt good for you too. A lot of trial and error had made him shy away from bottoming and gravitate towards topping, just because he knew it would feel good if he topped. For everyone involved. Kokichi, Kaito always liked to tease, was a greedy lover...but in comparison to random guys at bars? Kaito had been burned by too many genuinely selfish lovers for it not to affect his taste.)

But he didn’t know if Shuuichi was a bottom by preference...or if he just didn’t think he was actually physically capable of being the one penetrating. And Kaito didn’t want that for the guy...someone had to be his first test run. Why not Kaito?

And Kaito sure as fuck wasn’t letting The Beast anywhere near Kokichi’s sweet ass. Now there was some holy ground right there.

So, thoroughly determined to make good on these thoughts, Kaito ran his hands down Shuuichi’s back side, squeezed at his ass, whispering into Shuuichi’s ear, “I am absolutely going to get that sledgehammer down my throat to right about…” he brought his hands back up, moving them down again to his front, pawing through the fabric at his pants until he found the base of his dick and said, entirely confident, “...there. And then we’ll move on from there,” he said with a wink. “What do you think, handsome? Sound like a good time?”

Shuuichi rolled his eyes a bit but was fond as he simply said, “Sure.” Maybe it was just because so many of the other changes to his body were...things that disturbed him, but in comparison? Having, just, a ridiculously sized dick wasn’t such a huge deal. He already had to adjust his gait to account for his hips, so having something much bigger between his legs wasn’t adding anything, really, and his clothes had been tailored for, er, all of his body. Extra room in the crotch included. 

But just because he wasn’t as insecure about it didn’t mean that Shuuichi knew full well that he was startlingly large. To the point he wasn’t sure what Kaito could possibly mean that he could do with it. 

About to point that out, Shuuichi’s voice cut off in a gasp as Kaito got handsy with his ass and then his cock and (every time she touched his ass it drove him crazy; she’d been the first person to touch him there)

He swallowed, pushing those thoughts away...which was easier to do when Kaito was right in front of him. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s physically impossible, Kaito,” Shuuichi said with a dry humor, though he collected himself enough to, at first hesitantly, then more confidently, run a hand down Kaito’s side, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips again. “Though, that’s not going to stop you from trying. So we might as well see how you do.”

Kaito kissed back, leaning into the touch at his side, pushing his waist into Shuuichi’s and once again getting back into that small, swaying motion, giving Shuuichi a mock befuddled look as he said, “What? Haven't you heard? I am Kaito Ouma Momota, lover of Shuuichi Saihara, and the ultimate Knob-Gobbler. They don’t give you a title like that unless you’re an expert, Shuuichi.”

Capturing Shuuichi’s lips again, Kaito closed his eyes, just enjoying the feeling of Shuuichi pressed against him for a moment. And, remembering where he was, he offered a quick prayer to Atua, asking him to bless the union and to watch over them. To keep Shuuichi safe and comfortable and happy and enjoying himself…

And, because Atua helped those who helped themselves, he broke the kiss and moved onto Shuuichi’s neck, so fucking excited to finally start marking him...his...kissing softly at the hard lines on Shuuichi’s neck, feeling next at his adam’s apple, before taking out his tongue, licking up his neck a moment before finding a spot he arbitrarily decided was the sweetest part of him, and sucked there for a moment...before taking his teeth and, gently, but firmly, biting at it it, pressing that small spot between his canines for a moment...before easing up, kissing the spot and licking it lightly, trying to soothe the irritated skin that would darken against fair skin before they were done. A small, sweet little bruise….

Mine.

And, taking a breath against Shuuichi’s skin, Kaito said, “...Kokichi’s rule still applies, handsome. I told you what I want to do. Suck you down, take you in. Later, I’m gonna show you what I’ll do if I start choking and I’m gonna need you to respect that, but other than that, I’m open to anything. What do you want out of this? Anything you don’t want me to do…any place I’m not allowed to go...”

Kaito moved his hand up Shuuichi’s stomach, running his fingertips slightly higher than normal, riding up Shuuichi’s shirt, as he moved back up to Shuuichi’s lips, capturing his bottom lip, sucking against it, licking his own lips when the kiss broke, his face red with lust as he looked adoringly down at Shuuichi. “...anything else you maybe wanna just...try?”

Shuuichi laughed into the kiss, just...happy with Kaito. Being with Kaito and Kokichi made him feel safe and loved and happy and excited and curious and...like everything they told him was true. That maybe he really was as amazing as they said. Maybe. 

Tilting his head to allow Kaito space, Shuuichi had a moment of uncertainty, now having watched Kaito do this to Kokichi enough to know what he was doing and...if he were honest? The idea of getting a mark like the ones Kaito littered Kokichi’s neck with was...exciting. But also kind of terrifying, since it was something people could see, but...fffffffuck! Shuuichi groaned softly as he felt Kaito bite down into his skin, not enough to hurt, not enough to break skin but just...pressure and the idea of sharpness and that was enough to get his stomach fluttering again. 

And...if he didn’t like anything...Kaito would stop. He could change his mind. They would talk about boundaries every time. (Even if in the back of his mind, he still wondered what it was that Kaito had to promise against. That had made Kokichi look frightened and sad.)

Taking a slow breath, Shuuichi hesitated for a moment before putting his hand over Kaito’s, moving it back down a little. “...I’m sorry… I can’t… I’m not ready for that yet.” He’d taken his shirt off but...it was too much. He knew Kaito enough. If he bared his chest--and even just that was enough to make dread shock through him--then Kaito would want to touch and talk about it just...constantly. Trying to normalize it, trying to compliment it to the point Shuuichi couldn’t argue. But unlike what the tactic did for his insecurities… Shuuichi’s shoulders rolled forward a bit, annoyingly aware of how his ever-sensitive nipples rubbed against his shirt.

Thinking of Kokichi again, though, Shuuichi remembered something else from that conversation. “...would you be okay with choking me? Not in a stress-response way, we already talked about that, but you said gently was fine. Could we do that?” If Kokichi liked it, then...well, he may as well see what it felt like. If his chronically ill, underweight, pacifist boyfriend got heated from ‘being out of breath’, then maybe there was something to it.

Kaito moved his hand out of Shuichi’s shirt when he felt it being pushed down, disappointed, but not enough of an asshole to show it in any way as he moved his hand back around Shuichi’s waist, just holding his back and listening to him, kissing adoringly at his chin and the base of his ear. His other hand dipped low agan, enjoying feeling out the curve of his ass, giving another playful squeeze, already a little frustrated with his personal decision to not be riding it today. Fuck he was excited...but, wait. What?

Concerned, Kaito stopped, leaning back a little, giving Shuichi a slightly worried look. “We are certain you’re not experiencing symptoms again? Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving this! God I wanna touch you…” Kaito said, taking both of his hands and moving them up to Shuichi’s face, running his thumbs over his cheeks, marveling at him as he said, “You have no idea how badly I wanna lose my mind on you right now...but…”

He needed to be careful how he worded this. He didn’t want to pressure Shuichi into anything that the guy otherwise wouldn’t have wanted to push through, but he also wanted to make sure the two of them were on the same page. So he said, carefully, “Ya know, I...like doing stuff like that. I don’t wanna hurt you, but I...I mean, what I want to do is whatever makes you feel good, but I like…” 

Kaito didn’t know how to explain the power-trip he got, putting his hands on people's throats (pushing and pulling them into positions, pinning them down, feeling like he could do anything, feeling huge against Kokichi’s thin, small body...), in a way that didn’t seriously bother and worry him when considering it in any introspective way… “...but that sort of thing is something I kinda got to be careful with, especially lately, and especially with you. Like, I’m okay with blocking your airway a little bit, But I’m not going to hurt you...I don’t want to do that. We’re certain you’re not losing the effect of your medicine?”

Shuuichi sighed a little, but the fact that Kaito was worried about this? It was a good sign. It was a sign of care, though, the fact that he pointed out that he needed to be careful due to recent events… Kokichi had said the handprints around his neck hadn’t been an issue, but Kokichi wasn’t the most reliable when it came to identifying issues that pertained to himself. 

“I’m not looking to be hurt, Kaito, so I’d appreciate you not wanting to hurt me,” Shuuichi drawled, finding that...he was telling the truth. The thought of Kaito doing anything like what she had done...made his skin crawl...but unlike his comparison with Maki, Kaito was nothing like Her. Smirking a little, Shuuichi traced his fingers along Kaito’s spine in his lower back. “It’s not a substantial number still, but do you know how many suicides are coverups for autoerotic asphyxia? You have to account that there are all kinds of weirdos out there, but the number doesn’t suggest rarity of that caliber.”

Turning his head, Shuuichi kissed at Kaito’s wrist--the unscarred one. They were in a relationship but...that was where Kaito was bound to Kokichi. It felt too...invasive to touch there. But it didn’t stop him from giving Kaito a fantastic stare from bedroom eyes, not that Shuuichi had ever practiced. “You asked if I wanted to try anything. I want to see what the big deal is, and if I don’t like it, you’ll know, believe me. I know how to get out of a chokehold, Kaito.”

==

Shuuichi happily pressed into the knee between his legs, feeling his dick sloooowly start to come to life. He couldn't remember who had said it now, the memories lost in the swirling haze of heat and lust, but Shuuichi now felt a little more comfort in the slow ease of a building erection. With how much blood needed to rush down, if he got hard quickly? He might need to ask Kokichi for advice on fainting spells.

Not wanting to be the only one getting undressed, Shuuichi tugged up Kaito's shirt, getting it up to his chest before letting it be until they parted next, instead indulging himself by feeling up Kaito's abs. As Kaito had commented before, Shuuichi had some of his own, but they weren't as apparent. Especially with the soft layer of fat that started at his abdomen and thickened out to his hips, ass, and thighs.

He gasped a bit into Kaito at the new angle and wandering hands kneading his ass, his cheeks flushing as he remembered Kokichi's flirty comment about it. He was...annoyed with his weight gain, but...as Kokichi had told him, at least he carried it well. At least his boyfriends seemed to enjoy it.

Not that there was a body type Kaito would dislike.

Shuuichi breathed deeply as Kaito moved away for a moment, his curiosity piqued by the 'new thing' they were going to do. "I think you'll die trying to take in The Beast no matter what, but alright," he snarked, reaching down to hook his thumbs into Kaito's pants and underwear, though he made no attempt to lower his leg. "And I am not the only one stripping in here."

Conceding a little bit, though, Shuuichi only moved Kaito's waistbands down a little before letting go to shrug his jacket off.

Kaito laughed, taking off the rest of his shirt and tossing it aside, again, towards the door. It'd be bad if the bowl on the table was jostled and any of the blood spilled out. It'd be another few weeks before a Pudicitiam day came up and he'd be allowed to clean it from the table, just having to leave the mess there, and messing around with ritual blood anyhow was just...really disrespectful. 

Still, they'd be careful, and with Shuuichi's jacket firmly removed and also put aside, Kaito kissed Shuuichi a few more times before grabbing the leg against his hip and putting it down to the floor. Shuuichi standing now, Kaito knelt down onto the floor in front of him, pulling his waistband down towards himself now, helping Shuuichi take his pants and underwear off and tossing them before kissing at his legs and thighs, running his hands up and down them before considering The Beast, still only on its way to rising.

"...Fuck, I'm gonna die," Kaito said, his laugh bordering on actual nervousness as he looked at The Beast, forgetting how...actually fucking huge it was, reaching up to touch the thing, playing with it in his hand for a moment before leaning in to kiss it, saying, "That's alright. I love every piece of Shuuichi. Even the pieces that will actually kill me. But, before I go, let's see if we can't get some lube out of me and you first."

Standing up, Kaito, with Shuuichi's help, got his own pants off as well, kicking his boots off, naked as the day he was born as he went back to kissing Shuuichi, rubbing up against him for a moment, before kissing his cheek. "I'm gonna turn you around. It won't hurt, I'm not gonna push in, but if anything about this feels shitty to you? Even if it's not physical shitty...tell me, okay? I'll stop," Kaito promised, kissing him again, before saying, "Oh...let me take off the hat, handsome. It'll get knocked off anyway, and I wanna see your face."

Waiting for Shuuichi's nod (the hat was very important to Shuuichi, and Kaito wasn't going to take it off without permission), Kaito took it off and, with a show of care, gently tossed it onto the pile of clothes already, as if it would break if it landed on the ground. Then he looked back at Shuuichi, again, just...marveling at him, taking one hand and uselessly pushing some of the hair out of his face as he peered into those golden eyes as Kaito said quietly, "Look at you...how did I get so lucky?"

Not wanting Shuuichi to think he wasn't being sincere, Kaito went back to making out with him for awhile, stopping to look at him every now and again, kissing at the corner of his eyes, at his cheekbone, nibbling teasingly at his ear. Then, ready to move on, he put his hands on Shuuichi's shoulders, and gently pushed one and pulled the other.

Turning Shuuichi around, he pushed his shoulders back into the wall, kissing at the back of his neck a little, each little kiss making a small, wet sound, his hands running up and down Shuuichi's front side, as much as their range and restrictions would allow. His hand went to Shuuichi's front and, somewhat stunned at how thick it was in his grip, Kaito ran his hand up and down Shuuichi's shaft for a moment, kissing at his neck as he said, "You're amazing, you know that? Your body is amazing. It's so soft and strong. I just want to touch you all the time..."

Letting go of Shuuichi's dick, he put his hands on his boyfriend's hips, moving him back a few steps, his ass jutting out now. Shuuichi and Kaito, he was thrilled to find, were the perfect heights to do something like this, as he started to run his dick up and down Shuuichi's backside. Moving his hands to his ass, Katio squeezed Shuuichi's cheeks together around his dick, starting to move it up and down, looking down at his ass with lust and clear need in his eyes as his breath started to uptick a bit, before laughing at himself. "Fuck I need lube...I already want to push in...fuck."

Shuuichi was still a little nervous when Kaito pulled his pants down. It was just...a marvel how comfortable Kaito was in his own nudity, when showing just a bit of skin made Shuuichi want to curl up and hide himself. Hide his...shameful...freakshow of a body…

He closed his eyes and took a breath, pushing those thoughts away with Kaito’s help, his ever-present praise. Kaito, and Kokichi for that matter...they liked his body. Liked him. Not as something to laugh at, not as a novelty. Kaito loved him. Kokichi loved him. 

...and he loved them back. Enough to face them head on. 

“Okay…” he murmured, just...you can do it, Shuuichi. You can speak up to Kaito. You’ve done it before. Don’t be afraid. If anything feels bad, you know Kaito will stop, because you’ll stop him if he doesn’t. 

For lack of anything else to do, Shuuichi braced his arms against the wall when Kaito turned him around, which turned out to work in his favor when Kaito walked him back. Shuuichi hummed a bit as Kaito stroked him, but it wasn’t long before he jolted with a, “Mmmrf?!” 

It wasn’t near his hole but with Kaito’s dick running between his cheeks… “Nnng...mmm…” Shuuichi dropped his head down to hide his blush, his toes pressing against the floor as he felt Kaito knead and play with his ass, fucking him, but not. “I-I thought you didn’t want to fuck me this time?”

Kaito chuckled, leaning forward and again, kissing the back of Shuuichi’s neck soothingly, trying to give off a sense of comfort as he worked himself between Shuuichi’s asscheeks. “I don’t. Well, no, that’s a bold faced lie, I really, really do...but, since I’m not, I’m just trying to get myself off a little, handsome. I can comfortably go a couple rounds if I don’t push myself too hard through any of them,” he explained cheerfully, enjoying that gentle build inside of himself, his dick thickening in Shuuichi’s ass. He had thought he’d have to hold his cheeks together the whole time, but his boyfriend's ass was thick, and when Kaito experimented with taking his hands away, he found his dick was still plenty lodged in there, so long as Shuuichi didn’t move away from him any. 

Pushing himself forward a little, his knees on either side of Shuuichi, and snaking his arms around his waist, Kaito kept grinding against his backside, taking one hand to pull at his waist, gently keeping him in place, while his other hand went back to Shuuichi’s dick, rubbing his fingers up and down his shaft as Kaito kissed at his back.

“So, with your help, I’m gonna go ahead and get myself off, handsome, and with what I donate to the cause, that might be enough to at least get us going. I could rely on whatever you let out...because you cum like a faucet, man, it’s amazing...but, again, I’m trying to swallow you down. Might accidentally swallow it, and then where would we...ha…” Kaito felt his eyes unfocus for a minute, the pressure in his dick really starting to build, Kaito upticking his pace a little as he chuckled, “...then where would w-we be?...f-fuck...”

Kaito closed his eyes, pushing harder against Shuuichi. As he thrusted his hips, he had to fight every instinct he had to change his angle and push inside of the guy, catching him in the middle and just...having his way...but that’d be a shitty thing to do for a lot of reasons, so Kaito just focused on taking what he was allowed, breathing against Shuuichi’s skin, starting to sweat. “God...fuck you feel so good…I love you so much...” he said, kissing wherever he could reach again.

Shuuichi found himself arching back against Kaito’s cock, enjoying the feeling of...well, technically, Kaito just rubbing against him. Even if his ass… Shuuichi bit his lip as his blush deepened, just...embarrassed and sort of pleased? And very aroused, feeling his ass able to still envelop Kaito’s cock even when he wasn’t holding it. That was one plus to his new proportions, he supposed. A, uung, big plus. 

His flush deepened even further when Kaito remarked on how much he came, but any embarrassed protest came out as a whine as he felt Kaito throb and--

For a moment, Shuuichi tensed, worried that he really had started leaking again. Deep between his cheeks there was a bit of wetness, a bit of slick that allowed Kaito more movement, greater ease to thrust harder, faster, fuck… 

“Kaito… Please, fuck…” Shuuichi moaned, trying to push his hips back towards his lover. “Don’t...aa...want you to hurt yourself so, please… Let me help…” Bracing his shoulders against the wall, Shuuichi reached back and held his ass, trying to increase the pressure for Kaito. And...not just for Kaito. Feeling him thrust against him, crashing into his hips, trying to keep himself from thrusting into Kaito’s hand, his own dick still steadily rising, stoking the heat in his belly that each push from Kaito made flare up…

“Unnnng…”

“Oh, you are totally going to hurt me!” Kaito laughed, just, wow...he was having so much fun right now. His face was red with the pressure of wanting to cum and just not being quite there yet, incredibly turned on by Shuuichi, especially when he...o-oh fuck… “N-no getting around that, man. And it won’t be a b-big deal, okay? ...hn...ha…” Kaito swallowed hard, water starting to build up into the back of his mouth, “W-we’ll get me adjusted and...f-fuck, it’s not like I gotta keep myself tight for ‘Kichi, right? We’ll get me to a point where I can take it, and if you end up liking it, you c-can...hmmm...you can have me whenever you want, handsome…I’m all yours...”

Admittedly, when Kaito had done that for someone before (Koreikyo didn’t exactly have a massive dick, but he loved his toys in all shapes and sizes), he had...well, frankly, he had had access to a plethora of creams and toys to widen himself up with. And even still, his ass had eventually healed back to its natural shape when he had stopped. So...he knew he wasn’t exactly setting himself up for success here...but, well, he was Kaito Ouma Momota! The impossible was possible! Probably painful...but still possible!

If Kaito was worried about this, he wasn’t giving himself time to feel it. His dick was getting slick and hot with pre-cum, sliding through Shuuichi’s ass like a glide now, and kind of all thoughts of anything were getting pushed to the side as he thought about that. The heat burning up inside of him, his dick sending litting sparks of electricity that shot through his thighs and up his stomach to his chest, his whole body feeling wired and electric as-- “F-fuck, Shu...Shuuichi, fuck, hnnnnn-a-ahhh!...ahhh...h… ha ha…” Kaito laughed into Shuuichi’s back, taking a breath. “Ha...hoped that didn’t feel too weird...phew...y-your turn next, handsome. You want me to blow you against the wall? Or you can go lie on those pillows...m-might be more comfy…”

As he said this, he collected the cum he had shot onto Shuuichi’s lower backside with his fingers, lathering them up and slicking them as much as he possibly could, before moving his hand to his dick, pumping it a little, coaxing a little more out. As stated before, Atua helped those who helped themselves, and Kaito was planning to take care of his own stretching too.

Shuuichi...didn’t know exactly what he thought about that. He didn’t want Kaito to be in pain. Was frustrated and horrified with himself for all those times he thought about taking Kaito’s broken arm and pushing, wanting to hear his best friend of over a decade cry out in pain. But...he knew he really wasn’t in any place to theorize well, but...sexual pain could be different. If Kokichi enjoyed being choked, maybe Kaito enjoyed trying to stretch his hole. They could give it a shot, at least. 

But the second Kaito seemed to be in any real pain, Shuuichi was putting a stop to it. It...wasn’t just about his own comfort. He needed to look out for his lovers too. 

Shuuichi moaned and roughly rocked between Kaito’s hips and hand, squeezing his cheeks together and releasing, trying to pleasure his boyfriend’s cock, trying to get him so--

Shuuichi’s mouth dropped open with a shuttered gasp as he felt a splatter of warm liquid shoot against his backside, his thighs trembling a little as...he sort of wished it had been inside him… He didn’t have that embarrassing need to be filled that he had their first time, but...it had felt so good. Both his boyfriends moving inside him, working to pleasure him, filling him up…

Letting go of his ass, Shuuichi used the wall to help him straighten up, resisting the urge to touch his cock, The Beast showing its full form up against his stomach. “Let’s...let’s try the pillows?” If his knees gave out, he didn’t want to fall on top of Kaito. Any sort of choking on Kaito’s part was not what he wanted for this session. 

Kaito grinned, looking Shuuichi up and down appreciatively now that he was coming down from his orgasm a little, chuckling at Shuuichi’s high and thick dick. “You’re a powerhouse man, this is going to be so much fun. Come on then. Drag your log over here,” Kaito coaxed playfully, grabbing Shuuichi’s hand with his dry hand, pulling him towards the pillows. 

“Come on, Shuuichi, why are you so slow, dude? It’s like you can barely walk,” Kaito teased, pulling him closer to himself as they got closer to the pillows, kissing him deeply, enjoying the heat of Shuuichi’s skin. In an almost dancing motion, Kaito suddenly spun Shuuichi, then, keeping a grip on his waist, dipped him down, lowering him to the comfort of the pillows.

Kissing him on the cheek, and then two chaste, tasting kisses on his lips, Kaito grinned down at him, sweat already rolling down his face as he said, “Just sit back and relax, alright, handsome? I’m gonna make you feel good...oh! Um.” Kaito laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he remembered. “Um, so...okay, I need two things from you, man. Once I’m actually managing to get you down my throat, if I pinch you for any reason? That means I need to breathe and I’m struggling to get loose. Usually the reason I’m struggling to get loose is...most people get the instinct, when they’re being blown, to pin the head in some way? It’s a really common reaction, and usually I’m fine with that, but with you? Uh...that might be a bad idea. Like, I really won’t be able to breathe, ya know? Not even a little bit if I really tried. So…” Kaito laughed, feeling silly, but entirely sincere. “Just try not to accidentally let me pass out on your dick, dude...but don’t actually worry -worry about it or anything. It’s not a likely problem. Just something to keep an eye out for.”

Kaito kissed down Shuuichi’s body, starting on his neck, skipping his chest area, and kissing at his stomach through his shirt, moving down to his lower region as he ran his hands up and down the outside of Shuuichi’s legs.

“...but seriously, relax...and don’t laugh at me too hard, okay? I’m gonna look like an idiot.” Kaito laughed, taking Shuuichi’s dick into his hands and, kissing the underside of his dick for a moment, he licked up the dick, pressing his lips against Shuuichi’s head, running his thumb up and down Shuuichi’s dick.

As he started to wet Shuuichi’s dick, he moved his own wet hand beneath himself, curling into himself in a way where it would be easier to stick his fingers into himself, curling his fingers into his hole and starting to massage there.

Though thoroughly worked up now, Shuuichi still smiled a bit at Kaito taking his hand. He was starting to recognize little gestures that his lovers made while they were together. Just...constant touches between the purposeful ones, like they couldn’t bear to let any part of themselves not be fully invested at every moment. It...made him feel appreciated. Wanted. 

(Not having to sneak and beg for any sort of touch)

Rolling his eyes a little, Shuuichi swiped his tongue along Kaito’s lower lip before they parted. “One of us can have a little self control, and I’m trying to do a benefit for your refractory period. I thought you’d enjoy a slower pace, for how often you tease Kokichi for rushing.”

Settling down on a pillow--the blue one, and Shuuichi couldn’t help wondering if Kaito had guided him to that one on purpose--Shuuichi found it to be rather comfortable. His back hadn’t started hurting again, but it had just the right balance of softness and substance that he could imagine that it’d feel nice to rest on with a sore lower back. Not really sure how to position himself, Shuuichi propped himself up on his elbows, slightly bending his knees as he kept his legs parted, turning red after a moment once he took in the position he was in. 

But Kaito’s return to talk about boundaries helped refocus him. Nodding, Shuuichi took a breath before speaking. “Try not to lock my legs, let go entirely if you pinch me--got it. And...I guess, from my side of things...don’t push yourself too hard, Kaito. You, um… You make me feel really good, so you don’t need to do anything extra. This thing,” he gestured to The Beast, “is just ridiculous, so don’t try to take it all in, actually.”

Giving Kaito a nervous smile, Shuuichi found himself averting his eyes as his boyfriend drew near, too embarrassed himself to watch Kaito’s suck his-- “Ooonnnnm. Mmm.”

Just like last time, it was almost immediately too much, too warm, too wet, just…! Shuuichi felt his breath picking up and he scrunched his eyes closed. 

“I think it’s cool,” Kaito said, referring to The Beast, running his lips over the head of his dick and sucking appreciatively… ”And I want to do this, Shuuichi. I like this sort of thing. It’s fun to me,” he reassured. And he was good at it, which was...it was nice, doing something he was good at, okay?

Anyway, he wasn’t worried about it. He hummed cheerfully to himself, happy to wet Shuuichi’s dick down, trying to make it easier to take it down when he was ready to try...though as he licked he felt something wide run against his tongue...ha. He had almost forgotten about this…

Looking up at his boyfriend, intending to ask him about it, Kaito smiled warmly when he saw Shuuichi was already flustered, looking away from him...cute...fuck it. If it hurt, Kaito would find out in a second.

Digging his finger into his ass, trying to widen himself as best he could, he was almost surprised by the feeling of his finger inside of himself. He forgot how warm it was, but how rough it felt in the beginning. His callouses catching on his own skin. He hoped his lovers didn’t mind that, when he was doing this to them. Well, that was why he was careful, wasn’t he.

As he did that, he ran his tongue over Shuuichi’s head, and, still not entirely certain he should do this...he tried pushing his tongue into the, just, ridiculously wide opening that was the hole in Shuuichi’s dick. Carefully looking up to gauge Shuuichi’s reactions as he ran the tip of his tongue in and out of it.

“Nnng-nEE!” Shuuichi’s eyes flew open as he felt something electric shoot through his dick, his legs jolting, though he didn’t allow them to close. And the scene he was greeted with, along with that intense sensation?

Kaito just...fucking the end of his cock with his tongue, breathing and mouthing at his head, looking curious and amused and focused. His face lighting up again, Shuuichi let himself fall back as he used his hands instead to cover his face. “Sh-shit, Kaito!” 

He was squirming, just a little, his stomach jolting every time he felt Kaito’s tongue enter him. “You said - ahhh - y-you weren’t going to fuck me!”

Kaito snorted. Well, at least he knew it felt good. Apparently it felt amazing, if the way Shuuichi imediately started squirming and shouting was any indication. He’d definitely have to show Kokichi that trick. They could both have a lot of fun with Shuuichi like this.

Curious, Kaito focused on that for a bit. He had wanted to take Shuuichi down into his throat, but...only because that really, really felt good. But if Shuuichi had an alternative that made him feel just as good…

Kaito experimented with rubbing his hand up and down Shuuichi’s shaft, daring to push his tongue in a little deeper, finding to his surprise that it gave way. Was this the work of the pollen? Obviously it had to be...what else could it be? It was like something had stretched him... Maybe his dick making room for that fountain of cum Kaito knew Shuuichi was capable of?

Testingly, Kaito pulled his tongue out, and sucked in hard…

Shuuichi whined, feeling Kaito push deeper into his cock. Maybe Kaito really was going to fuck him like this, press his tongue all the way in… He shivered, but...not entirely in a good way. What Kaito was doing now? It felt incredible. His hole was wide enough that the intrusion of a soft, wet tongue just made the relatively untouched area send sparks on a direct line to his groin. 

...but that fucking rod...it had hurt so fucking badly and that had felt so good, he couldn’t think of anything else. Pushing all the way in, almost to pierce his bladder, taking it out, begging to cum, thinking that his dick had split open…

Shuuichi flinched, grimacing under his hands. “H-hey, Kai-AIIEE!” His dick twitched, bringing him close, closer, but Shuuichi’s whole body spasmed at the sudden pressure and he quickly kneed at Kaito’s shoulder, trying to push him off. “STOP!”

Kaito couldn’t have gotten himself off Shuuichi faster, backing up as quickly as he could, giving Shuuichi a shocked look. “Fuck, fuck, are you okay? Oh fuck.”

Had he hurt him!? Oh no, no, please, he couldn’t handle having hurt another one of his lovers, please…he looked over him, looking for red, or pink, or anything that suggested that Shuuichi was maybe physically hurt, and when he didn’t see anything, assumed… “Shit, I’m sorry Shuuichi. Did I scare you?”

Shuuichi took a few breaths, his dick already missing Kaito’s mouth, residual shocks still going through him, but…

This was Kaito. He stopped. He loves you. 

Shakily, Shuuichi pushed himself back up onto an elbow, his gaze down around Kaito’s chest, but his expression set in grim certainty. “...I don’t want anything put in my dick. Okay? We can do that?” Any time. Kokichi had said any time. 

With another few breaths, Shuuichi got himself to look up at Kaito, his own expression softening when he saw the worry on Kaito’s. “...sorry for kicking you. Are you alright?”

“Nothing in your dick. Never again,” Kaito promised, sighing as he allowed him to take a breath, his heart still racing. “Sorry, I didn’t realize...I thought those were good sounds. Sorry. I totally misinterpreted that. I won’t do that again, Shuuichi.”

Running a hand through his hair, he laughed. “You're good, man. It was a good kick! Your legs are really strong these days, bud! You should have Maki show you some of those kicks of hers, I think you’d be brutal!”

Grinning somewhat uncertainly, Kaito gave Shuuichi his best welcoming grin, asking, “I can go back to just trying to swallow you down, handsome. I won’t shove anything in, won’t even come close. Promise.”

“No, they were, er, good sounds, you didn’t mess that up,” Shuuichi explained, flushing a little more just thinking about the noises he’d been making. They were cute coming from Kokichi. Watching Kaito squirm and huff was fascinating. From himself? ...maybe that would come later… “I just...don’t want it…”

They’d come to an understanding about M...Nao. And Shuuichi had even warned him that even when the memories he had of her made him hurt, that she still wasn’t an enemy. But even more than risking Kaito’s fury...Shuuichi didn’t want to talk about her in the bedroom. Or, in the shrine that they were using for a purpose likely only Atuans used in their faith. It just felt...wrong. 

Taking one more breath, Shuuichi gave Kaito a nod with a softer look. “Okay. It...um. It was feeling really good. If anything...don’t get ahead of yourself trying to go down on me, since if I cum, it’s a long trip back up.” Snorting softly, Shuuichi gave Kaito a small smirk. 

Kaito hesitated, wondering if he should...ask…

...no. He was so tired of everyone being sad all the time. Maybe he was being selfish, but, just for a little bit, he just wanted everyone to feel okay. He’d ask about it later. Just for now, he wanted to focus on physical pleasure. Emotionally? Those wounds were always a lot harder to help people with. Physical was easy.

So Kaito took the out Shuuichi gave him, and grinned easily at him, scooting back over to him and kissing at his knees, running his hands up and down his legs as he said, “You are getting wet down there. I could taste it...well, obviously. I was trying to guzzle you a second ago.” Kaito laughed, reaching for his dick, being careful as he ran his fingers around the head, taking up some of the wet there, adding it to his fingers.

He hadn’t managed to open himself up much...but that was okay. He’d make it work. Scooting up even farther, he straddled Shuuichi’s hips, reaching behind himself and moving Shuuichi’s dick to rest on his backside (Fuck. It literally went halfway up his back. Or, at least, that’s how it felt against him right now. Holy shit), before leaning forward, kissing at Shuuichi as he said, “It’s gonna hurt a little bit, but it’s gonna be okay...it’s gonna feel really good eventually…”

Kaito took a couple of breaths, not entirely certain who he was reassuring by this point, reaching back for Shuuichi’s dick, rubbing it back up and down his back, lifting himself up to test it against his back and…

...Kaito laughed, covering his eyes. “Oh fuck...that’s not gonna fit…”

It just wasn’t. He wasn’t even kinda prepped and, even if he was? Once he’d get the head in, that would be it. It would stop. Oh, sure, he could keep pushing, but...he’d tear himself up inside and there was no way he wasn’t bleeding, and no way he was walking out of this shrine without help. And that didn’t actually sound like it’d be a good time for either of them. 

So he laughed, feeling foolish and embarrassed, and said to Shuuichi, face red, “There’s no way, Shuuichi. Not right now, anyway. I’m really sorry.”

“Has a bit to go, huh,” Shuuichi softly mused, letting himself relax again as Kaito rubbed his head, letting the tension in his body go bit by bit. It had felt almost overwhelmingly amazing when Kaito had blown him at the beach house, getting him worked up even more than just being hard, and while Shuuichi was more than just hard at the moment, he was still trying to prepare himself for the jump in pleasure, and-what?

Shuuichi blinked up at Kaito as he sat above him, flushing as he felt his cock hit Kaito’s back (his back), only now registering that Kaito wasn’t going back to suck him. Now? They were going now?! Sure, with Kaito, Kokichi had less to take in, but accounting for their size difference, surely there was something comparable, and it had taken waaaaay longer to prepare their small lover! No way Kaito was going to-!

His mouth pressed into a nervous half-grimace, Shuuichi was stock still, about to warn Kaito and…

Shuuichi sighed. “I told you. I don’t want to hurt you, even if it’ll feel good later. It’s alright, Kaito.” He hadn’t been expecting it to work out, honestly. He was just glad it stopped before it really started.

Lying back on the pillows, Shuuichi reached up to loop his arms around Kaito’s shoulders, gently pulling him down. Kissing at the corners of his lips, he hummed. “There’s still more we wanted to do, though… If you still wanted to?”

“We can still try again later! I just...there’s no way I can prep myself with just fingers and cum, not for something like The Beast. Sorry. I just got really excited.” Kaito sighed, allowing himself to be led, appreciating the little kisses among his disappointment. “I really wanna ride The Beast...it’ll be so much fun...ya know...when we can get to the point where it won’t rip my insides apart. That’s less fun,” Kaito admitted, sighing again.

Kissing Shuuichi back, Kaito grinned adoringly at him. “Of course I still want to! What, you think I’m gonna blue ball you? In Atua’s shrine? I think that’s how you get cursed, Shuuichi. Nope, only way to make sure we’re both good with god is to make sure you’re nice and spent before you walk out of here,” Kaito insisted, kissing him deeply, still feeling Shuuichi’s dick pressed high against his backside, moving his hips to rub against it slightly. “We could go back to grinding. That felt really good, and I could go again...or, I could finish blowing you? You could cum down my throat! Knowing how much you cum? I think I’d finish full...or! I could open you up and ride you until your body shakes.”

Kaito chuckled at that, kissing at his ear before saying quietly into it (pushing himself through the embarrassment. He...he didn’t think Shuuichi would judge him for this. Probably), “I don’t always need lube to open other people up...as you saw earlier, I’m really good with my tongue…”

Sitting back up, looking down at Shuuichi adoringly, Kaito said, “World's your oyster, Shuuichi. Give the word, I’m at your command. How do you wanna get off?”

Shuuichi still doubted that--fourteen inches would be hard enough to get into anyone, let alone taking into account his girth--but...with lube and proper preparation, maybe Kokichi around to spot...they could try. In a way that wouldn’t rip Kaito apart. 

Laughing softly at Kaito’s complete refusal to call it quits, Shuuichi kissed his boyfriend back, sighing at the slight attention to his cock and then… Having sexual desire was...weird. As Kaito offered an array of options for them, Shuuichi found himself getting heated from each suggestion, squirming under Kaito a bit while he mouthed and kissed all over his face, and from them, an idea popped into Shuuichi’s head. An idea that sent him shivering with a red face. 

“...could we...could you close your thighs around me...like what you did to my ass...and could you choke me?”

Kaito looked down curiously at Shuuichi, before looking over his shoulder at Shuuichi’s dick. “Close my thighs...what, you mean like this?”

Lying back down on top of Shuuichi, Kaito considered how he could do this without putting literally all of his weight on his lover...before planting his knees in between Shuuichi’s legs, crossing his ankles over each other, Shuuichi’s dick caught between his upper thighs. He looked back down at Shuuichi, and asked, still curious, “Is that what you were asking for?”

Grinning, something...predatory in the grin, he asked cheerfully, “Were you wanting to move something like this?” as he started to move his hips back and forth, a mixture of his own sweat and cum making the movement easy against Shuuichi’s magnum dong. “Does that feel good?” Kaito asked, rolling his hips.

“Nnnng...mhhhh…” Shuuichi tipped his head back a little, moaning in pleasure from the sliding pressure around his dick. He found himself spreading his legs wider, making it easier for Kaito, hopefully, and bucking his hips, craving the feeling of those toned thighs… “Yeah...yeah, it feels good…”

If he was ever able to penetrate Kaito, it would be after a lot of work and preparation, and even then Shuuichi was sceptical. His dick was pretty low on the priority list for his body but...he wondered if there was anything they could do for it. He didn’t think he’d want to go under the knife to make his dick smaller but...well, if there were medicines to make your junk bigger, like Seiko had dryly told him so long ago...surely there were kinds to make it smaller. Not a lot! But just...so he wouldn’t have to worry about hurting his lovers. 

It was something to think about, at least, but probably at a time when Shuuichi actually had his mind. 

After a moment, Shuuichi brought his legs up and clasped his thighs around Kaito’s hips, changing the angle of his thrusts as his breathing sped up, tinged with breathy moans. 

Kaito grinned wide as he felt Shuuichi’s legs encircle him again. He liked that feeling. His lover holding onto him, strong and full of desire. It was a nice sensation.

Especially as Kaito’s dick, every now and again, slid up and down Shuuichi’s Beast. It was inconsistent, and he didn’t think he’d get off like this, but it felt nice either way, and Kaito enjoyed those small sparks of heat as his post-cum dick pressed against Shuuichi’s groin every time their hips got close.

He pressed his legs tighter together, flexing his thigh muscles to massage and coax more pre-cum out of Shuuichi, Kaito feeling his thighs grow more and more slick the more he moved. God, even this felt weirdly good. Kaito loved feeling the thick, strong muscle that was Shuuichi’s dick against him, and felt a spark of satisfied arousal every time the thing between his legs twitched and pulsed, stimulated by their movements.

“Perfect,” Kaito praised, looking at Shuuichi lovingly. Meaning it with every fiber of his being. “You’re perfect, Shuuichi.”

Then Kaito glanced down at his neck and...it would be okay. Kaito was careful, and Shuuichi knew how to get out of chokeholds. He wouldn’t hurt him. It was going to be fine. Just watch his expressions. If he starts to look distressed, let go. Don’t try it again. It’ll be fine. Kaito was sure.

...The Luminous Prince grinned, the expression all teeth. A wolfish property to it as he reached out for him.

“Come here,” he said, putting his hand around the back of his throat, keeping up the pace of his hips...quickening them as he started to pull Shuuichi up, bending him at the waist. “I want my kisses, Shuuichi.”

Pulling Shuuichi up, Kaito put both hands around Shuuichi’s throat, running his thumbs soothingly against the skin, the gesture a caress at first. Then he quickened his pace some more, and brought Shuuichi’s face up to his, kissing him deeply, pushing his tongue in to taste at him, opening up his airway...breathing him in deeply...and, carefully, starting to squeeze his hands. 

He kept his eyes open, breaking the kiss, though keeping his mouth close to him, enjoying the scent of him. Carefully watching his expression as he quickened his pace.

Kaito had teased him before, but now Shuuichi noticed each pass through Kaito’s thighs getting easier, slicked up with his pre-cum. He was wet, and with how The Beast twitched and pulsed, hot and stirring the bubbling pot in Shuuichi’s gut, he was getting close too. After being not-fucked in his ass and having Kaito’s mouth all over his head, he’d be worried if he wasn’t.

(It wasn’t in Shuuichi’s mind at the moment, but that fear of not having enough was maddening. Too aroused to go on with his day, but not pushing over, not able to think of a single thing other than his dick, please, please, he’d do anything, please just let me cum! It was no wonder he’d torn at his wrists in his desperation.)

Shuuichi helped hold himself up, his arms still looped around Kaito’s neck, though it did put the bulk of his weight on his hips and lower back, slowing his bucks. Thankfully, Kaito speeding up compensated for it very well. Shuuichi squeezed his legs around Kaito’s hips, almost feeling like he was being bounced against the pillows. Going into the kiss expectantly, Shuuichi tried not to hold his breath. 

And, like it always was now, kissing Kaito was wonderful. Tasting him, exploring Kaito’s mouth a little now and...oh...having his breath very literally stolen from him. His soft, thick thighs trembled around his boyfriend, The Beast pulsing, so close! 

But then Kaito pulled back, and Shuuichi tried to breathe and...no. Nuh-uh. Letting go of Kaito’s shoulders, Shuuichi brought his hands close, at first nudging Kaito’s wrists to tell him to let go. 

Not for him, then. A shame. 

The Luminous Prince felt the pulse in his hands...eyes wide with excitement...something dark and awful whispering in him ‘It’d be fun to watch him try to fight…’

...and Kaito relaxed his grip, taking a small, shuddering breath as he moved one hand back onto the back of Shuuichi’s neck, and the other one supporting his back, laid him back down onto the pillow as he rolled his hips, kissing gently at Shuuichi’s neck in apology, before moving back to his face, kissing him again, not stealing his breath this time, just wanting to be close to him as he moved his hips as fast as he could.

“Come on, handsome…” Kaito whispered against the kisses, holding him close, “Spill your seed for me...bless my shrine...I want to smell your scent every time I pray in here from now on...I love you so much…”

And quietly, to himself, he made another promise. One he barely let himself even acknowledge.

(...I won’t ever let myself hurt you…)

(Not you.)

(Never you.)

(I will always, always take responsibility for you.)

(I love you.)

Shuuichi sucked in a breath when Kaito loosened his grip, as he said he would, the returned air reminding him how hot and ready he was. His dick just constantly twitching between Kaito’s thighs, and the little whispers Kaito made against his neck and lips just made it worse. 

Come on, come on, c’mon!! 

“Nnnngmm! Unf, a-ah!” Shuuichi tightened his thighs, rolling and bucking his hips up furiously into Kaito, the small room filled with the sounds of sex, moans and wet skin against skin. Two lovers embraced and fitting against each other, Kaito loved him, he loved Kaito, loved him for years and years and, a-and-!

“AAaa-aaah-aaunn~” 

Drool dripped out of the corner of Shuuichi’s mouth as he let out a loud moan, hips bucking against Kaito’s almost automatically as he shook through his orgasm, the flood of cum from The Beast spraying onto Kaito’s backside and one of the pillows below. 

Kaito gave a happy, pleased hum as he felt his back wetten, covered in his lover’s seed, slowing down his pace to a comfortable, lazy push and pull as he coaxed the last of it out of Shuuichi, enjoying his little hurried breaths and watching those glazed over, ecstatic eyes.

Wiping Shuuichi’s drool away with a thumb, Kaito leaned down to kiss him gently, slowing down to a stop before finally opening up his legs, letting Shuuichi’s dick fall. Kaito rested on top of him, kissing him, enjoying his time with him as he held him close, covering him with affection as he helped ease Shuuichi through his post-orgasm euphoria. Not wanting him to feel alone or ‘done with’ for even a second.

Not maintenance. Not a task. Not a...not a toy.

“You are so amazing...god, look at you...my handsome Shuuichi...I love you so much…” Kaito promised and praised and reassured, running his hands through Shuuichi’s hair, taking some of the stick of sweat away from his forehead, kissing him there, next to his eyes, his cheek, his mouth, “I’m so lucky...do you feel good? Do you feel spent? We can do it as many times as you want, Shuuichi. Does anything hurt? I just want you to always feel good…”

And, after asking his questions, Kaito looked adoringly at Shuuichi...then placed his forehead against his, and closed his eyes.

“Atua, bless our union, the soils of our body spilled and passed in your name. May our love reflect the love of Paradise, and our passion reflect the climb of the trials. May my lover be happy and healthy and loved in everything he does, under your love and protection. Atua loves us. Atua be pleased.”

Finishing his prayer, Kaito kissed Shuuichi again. It hadn’t been an official ritual but...well, Shuuichi had a point. Kaito had to break in the other use of a shrine at some point. Why not make it official?

Besides, Kokichi had their binding ritual...and now Shuuichi could claim to be the first offering of Kaito’s shrine. One not mired in panic and grief, anyway. That sort of spiritual gift mattered...or, it mattered to Kaito, at least.

Smiling against Shuuichi’s skin, Kaito said, “Thanks for coming to pray with me, Shuuichi.”

For a bit, Shuuichi just had to breathe, gasping as the heat that had been building in his crotch released and spread through his body in waves, letting him enjoy the aftershocks as he came down. 

And it wasn’t immediately soiled by feeling need like nothing had happened. And he didn’t...feel gross or ashamed. Unwanted. Like he wasn’t good enough for anything or anyone. 

Laughing softly, Shuuichi reassured Kaito that he was fine, it was wonderful, thank you, I love you, I love you too, I love you so much…

And while he hadn’t actually planned on praying to Atua, Shuuichi closed his eyes as Kaito started the prayer, silently saying his own version in his head. Atua, if you’re there...thank you. Please take care of Kaito, he loves you so much. I know you don’t interfere but...I think we can be safe here, so please let Kaito be safe and happy and everything he never got to be in Luminary. 

“Atua be pleased.”

Shuuichi smiled into their kiss, gently running his hands down Kaito’s sides as he allowed his legs to let go and stretch out. “You’re welcome. I think this makes your shrine pretty official now too.”

Kaito laughed, moving himself to Shuuichi’s side, lying against the pillows next to him as he said, “Oh yeah, for sure. It now officially smells of blood and sex in here. Can’t get more official than that.”

Taking Shuuichi’s hand and kissing it before holding it to his chest, Kaito said, “You wanna rest here for a while? It’s not cold in here. We could just chill out and lie here for a while, no one will come in and bother us. Head back to the room when we start to get hungry? I doubt Kokichi will mind too much, I’m sure he’s chest deep in work still. And Maki’s not going to come looking for you until after dinner. We have all the time in the world, really, if you wanna just...chill out with me for a while,” Kaito offered with a small grin.

Shuuichi rolled over onto his side a little, just enough to mostly face Kaito, and he gave his hand a little squeeze. Just lounging in the shrine...so much of the day had been lounging, but that was just how his days went now. Sitting in whatever room Maki stuck him in, nothing to do… 

But if he could do research to help Kokichi out with his work? If...he could feel like he was somewhere by choice and not...because he needed a babysitter… But being in the shrine like this...it felt like somewhere Shuuichi chose to be too. With someone he chose to be with, and who chose to be with him. 

Smiling back, Shuuichi rubbed his thumb down the side of Kaito’s hand. “That sounds nice. It feels like forever since we’ve last gotten to hang out like this.” Then, flushing as he remembered he was mostly naked and lying on sweat and sex-soaked pillows, he amended, “Alone, I mean.”

Kaito laughed, looking down at themselves. “I cannot tell you how long I would have loved to have hung out with you exactly like this. I am living the dream, man.”

Holding Shuuichi’s hands, Kaito stared happily at him, just enjoying taking him in...before saying, “Hey, so...what if we’re thinking of black holes wrong? What if they aren’t holes between realities, but are the reason multiple realities exist? Okay, so, hear me out…”

And the two chatted comfortably for a couple of hours, time running away from them. They talked about important things and stupid things. They discussed if spiders had souls and if so did that mean Kokichi would have to share a paradise with them? Or maybe they’d have a spider paradise?  Let’s be honest, spiders would never make it through the trials anyway. They’d be too busy chilling out and making webs. Kokichi was probably safe from spider heaven. 

They discussed childhood memories. Kaito wanted the fuller story of Shuuichi’s first time getting high, and embarrassed, Shuuichi told him, confessing the whole thing had just been really strange and kind of awkward.

They discussed the upcoming famine at home. Shuuichi didn’t care about it. Kaito cared...a little…

And at one point the conversation de-evolved to Shuuichi and Kaito mockingly discussing who between them Kokichi liked more, which eventually became Shuuichi staring wide eyed at the ceiling in horror as he said, “Oh my god, you’re right...we have to spar that fucking rabbit…”

“I know,” Kaito said darkly, staring at the ceiling with him. “Or he’ll sweep Kokichi away with that smug look on his face…”

And the two had ended up giggling and laughing and feeling warm and comfortable and having a pretty good day.

-

It had been years since Ikuo had used proper laundering equipment, but the old muscle memory hadn’t faded. With long-practiced efficiency, he folded up the latest batch of sheets from the dryer, matching them in sets for easy drop off. Sure, you could have a stack of top sheets, a stack of fitted sheets, and a stack for pillowcases, and just take the appropriate number of each to put in each room...or, you could half-fold the fitted sheets, place a top sheet and extra pillowcases inside, then fold the rest of the fitted sheet over itself to create a little parcel. One delivery for each room, no worry about any part being misplaced. 

Not that the towels were being misplaced, by his guess. From how Kirumi described them, it sounded like someone was making kobold nests. Weird move, for a building that had a dedicated staff to cleaning it. 

But none of his business. Little critters wouldn’t harm anyone, not like brownies, and whoever was making the nests didn’t seem to be causing any harm. And as long as it stayed that way, it would stay not his business. 

Loading the folded sheet parcels into a basket, Ikuo lifted it onto a shoulder, heading out of the laundry room to go deliver them. If his counting was right, he’d be able to get the third and fourth floors done with this batch.

Ignoring the looks of awe from some of the other housekeepers also using the laundry room or passing by, Ikuo headed on his way.

-

Marcus was dead. He had died as part of a calculated risk. Rawr giving his sister an escape if his plan failed.

Rawr was dead. He had died trying to save his sister. To get her home. His strange, mysterious life would have all been justified, if he could have returned her to their parents. 

Monique was dead. She had killed Rawr. She had killed Rawr roughly five seconds before his death trap for Marcus had gone off. She hadn’t known she had killed him. She hadn’t known until the end of the trial, when Komaru had, heart broken, tears in her eyes, carefully explained to her Rawr’s plan to save her by tricking her into killing him. 

The group had tried to use Rawr’s backup plan. Tried to argue that Marcus could have logically died before Monique had accidentally made her deadly mistake, that Rawr’s death didn’t count. They hadn’t been able to convince the game-master, and had been forced to vote for her. Monique had gone to her execution sobbing.

Chad was dead. Executed for the murder of Samuel. He had died still hotly arguing that it was Sahara. That it hadn’t been his fault. That life had never given him a chance! 

Korekiyo had laughed and waved when Chad had been dragged away. And, for reasons Komaru didn’t really understand herself, she had broken down, collapsing to her knees in grief at his death. 

It wasn’t fair.

Life had never given any of them a chance!

And she had wailed in grief. In heartbreaking, honest terror and outrage. They hadn’t deserved this. None of them had deserved this! This wasn’t fair!!!

And then Marcus and Rawr-XD and Monique had all died, and there were just three of them left. And the three of them had listened, dead eyed and tired, to the rules for the final part of the game.

Only one person had to die now for the game to end.

No more trials.

No more executions.

Just one last survivor. And one last blackened.

And one last victim.

They had held out for a few days. But they realized that everything in the castle had just...stopped. Gas lamps weren’t turning on. The heat was off. There was no new food being stocked in the fridge, The sinks weren’t producing any water. Everything in the castle meant to keep them alive long term? Had all been turned off. 

An unspoken time limit. 

And with that, Sarhara had just straight up...disappeared. They had no idea where she went. They had gone looking for her. They had all agreed to stay together. But Sahara was a lone wolf by nature. And was drunk. All the time. There was no new alcohol being supplied, but she still had plenty left, and was drinking from it constantly. They were half worried she had fallen down some stairs somewhere and broken her leg, confused by the spinning of her brain. They were half worried she had decided in her drunken fury to plan to kill them.

...or, they had been worried about it.

Then Korekiyo had started acting...strange.

He had been acting strange. But it was getting worse. Ever since Chad’s execution, Korekiyo could be seen...talking to himself. And then talking back to himself in a high, false voice. Hugging himself. Leaning in a way that suggested he was leaning on someone’s shoulder, taking comfort in their presence.

After awhile, the group had realized Korekiyo thought he was talking to his sister, and...no one had known what to do about that. So they had worried and left it alone and tried to not notice it when it was happening.

But as they looked for Sahara, Korekiyo’s conversation with his sister had grown...alarming. His sister telling him that she missed him. That she was alone in her trials. That she was lonely, going through the trials alone, not having had a chance to bind herself to her fiance. That she wanted friends.

That was when Komaru discovered that during Korekiyo’s kidnapping, his sister had tried to save him, had been captured and was meant to be another contestant... and...hadn’t survived the trip. 

And that Korekiyo had been in denial about that up until right now and wasn’t...handling it well…

And his sister had whispered to him, as Komaru listened in, the two walking the halls looking for Sahara, “Sahara and Komaru are such good girls...such nice girls. Sahara has a problem, but I still like her, Korekiyo. She’s loyal and strong and kind. And Komaru? Our steadfast leader. It’s not her fault all this happened. She tried her best. I’d like to be her friend, ‘Kiyo.”

“I would have liked to have been your sister's friend too, Korekiyo,” Komaru murmured, her heart hurting for her friend. He had been steadfast, through this whole thing. Trustworthy and funny and compassionate. Watching him lose his mind had hurt. She wanted him to be better. Was it possible for him to be better in this castle? In this situation?

“I wish I had been bound to someone like them, ‘Kiyo…I’m so alone in the trials. So afraid. Everything is so hard. I’m so lonely…”

“I’m sure Atua’s looking after her,” Komaru said, trying to be soothing, having realized awhile back that Korekiyo was a true believer. No wonder he and Kaito lasted as long as they did. Two troubled but nice guys, deep believers in Atua, with a fierce and pointed obsession with sex? Kaito should have married him. She wondered what had split them up.

“...people do sometimes…” Korekiyo mused, in his own voice. Something almost wondrous in his voice. “...have bonding rituals performed on their behalf after death. Animal guides, sacrificed to help carry an infant to paradise. Couples who never had the opportunity to finish their bindings, wanting to honor their feelings...friends, family, sacrificing their chances to bind to a lover, determined to make their lost ones journey through the afterlife easier...it could be done…”

“We don’t have her body, Korekiyo,” Komaru sighed, genuinely feeling bad. She wasn’t really a believer herself, but...if it would have eased Korekiyo’s fears? She would have bound herself to his sister's corpse. But they didn’t have it, so…

She paused, lips pressing together in terror...looking back at Korekiyo as he grasped her shoulder, something truly, honestly mad in his expression, that ribbon he was always carrying around, that he had tried to kill Chad with, looped in his hands as he said to her, eyes wide and eager, “...we are in exceptional circumstances. Atua is not an unkind god. When you pass to the other side, just be certain to ask to join with my sister. It will all work out.”

Korekiyo moved to put the looped ribbon over her head as he said, “Atua loves you.”

And as Komaru hit him over the face with her megaphone, making a run for it with a desperate, ear-splitting scream, two people watched and observed.

Well, technically lots of people watched. Or, more technically, lots of Flora watched. There were carefully positioned Flora all over the castle, behind one way mirrors and glass and stones, watching the events. And any Flora who wanted to join in simply had to tap into the mind of the Flora that had the best view of the action. It was fun! Flora would go about their day, working the markets, supervising their humans, and suddenly one would laugh and the other would look and say, “You see that move too? He almost had her. I’m thrilled. I’ve had three gold down on the BDSM freak since the second trial. Though, admittedly, I thought he was just gonna be the survivor.”

“Are you crazy?” the friend would say, looking relaxed, as they both watched the human run for her life, chased by her desperate, maddened friend. “The drunk was always gonna be the survivor. She minds her own damn business. It's the movers and shakers who always end up dead. She just drinks and snarks at people. She’s my guiding animal.” The Flora laughed, before glancing at his human stocking the shelves, and pouting, said, “Hey, move those up two rows. Those stopped being on special yesterday. Don’t you ever listen?! I swear, the fucking thing’s defective...”

...but those aren’t the two I’m talking about.

The two watching were more important than that. And for them, the game had a purpose. In fact, the whole point of the game was for these two to talk about it. To watch and observe. One trying to prove her theory. The other just...sitting through it, out of respect for her. But just...saddened by this whole thing, as the girl who had given up her brother's rebellion's chance to emotionally manipulate one of the Momotas ran for her life, chased by a man who, as far as he could see, had done everything he could to help Kaito.

He wasn’t getting what she had hoped he’d get out of this, and Junko groaned as she said, “Are you fucking kidding me!? You STILL don’t see what I’m talking about here!?”

The man sighed, looking over at her as the queen hung her arms over his shoulders, laying her chin on his broad shoulder as she groaned cutsily, all the fire and edge from her previous statement gone as she cooed, “They’re awwww-ful~! The worst! What shitty, itty-bitty things. And you wanna w’eaaaave him there!?”

“...they weren’t evil. None of them. At least...no more than anyone else there is. They were people who liked him. They took care of him, in their own ways. Even that Chad fellow never forced him to-”

“That argument is illogical. You understand that, correct?” the queen said, her voice suddenly stern. Professional. Though, that professionalism left as she spun around him, sitting in his lap and again resting her head against his shoulder, saying, frustrated and angry, “Why are you defending them so hard? You want this. I know you want this. I can see into your head, remember? You don’t have any secrets from me. And I’m tired of all the,” she rolled her eyes,“ ‘sadness’ and ‘regret’ radiating off you all the time. You’re no fun to hang out with anymore, you know that?”

The man smiled somewhat warmly at her. The two of them were...old. Very old. He had known her before her ability to read the hive mind had become strong enough to qualify her as their leader. He was one of the few Flora still alive who remembered the king.  One of the few Flora in existence who understood the idea of true immortality was laughable. Flora lived a long, long, long time...but accidents happened. Fires happened. Wars...these young Flora were arrogant and ignorant, truly believing they were immortal. He and Junko? They knew better.

Which was why Junko so desperately wanted him happy. Life was long...but it was short. She wanted happiness for all of her Flora. How could she not, when she felt her people's happiness or sadness, almost all of them, almost all of the time? She couldn’t get away from their misery, and so had put her everything into their joy. Had largely succeeded in her aim, even. She had worked extremely hard for a very long time to make certain her Flora’s lives were comfortable and safe and pleasurable. 

So she had had to basically tear apart her closest neighbors for all the resources she needed to keep her people happy? So she had to subjugate an entire species that her people had used to live comfortably together with? Who cared? Junko could only feel the inside of seedlings, and only when she reached out to them, deliberately looking. And, for seedlings, she had done her best to make their erratic, mad little lives as comfortable as possible. And for humans? 

She couldn’t feel inside them at all. Just empty, silent meat husks, no more connected to them mentally than the bugs she squashed thoughtly beneath her heels. Their thoughts and feelings hidden behind those empty, soulless eyes of theirs.

Fuck ‘em.

But she cared about Flora. And she really cared for one of her oldest friends. Who, lately, was just always so sad and grumpy and dull. And she knew what he wanted. She just had to...convince him to accept it.

So she tried again. “These people? These worthless, weak assholes killing each other over almost nothing? You have to admit, I held back with them. The gamemaster was encouraged to not give them any motives that forced their hand. Sou was just encouraged to...well, to encourage them. Murdering each other? Killing themselves? Dooming each other? That was all them. We didn’t make them.”

“Sure...you just locked them in a castle, terrorized them, and constantly shoved the idea of killing each other in everything they did or saw….clearly they were all serial killers in the making.”

“I don’ knooooooow~” she cooed, going back into her cutesy persona, wiggling playfully in his lap, “The sister fucker sorta sounds like a serial killer right now. He’s not even trying to win. He just wants to kill people to send to that dumbass’s stupid trials.”

“He wasn’t like that till you got a hold of him. Whenever I checked in on Kaito while they were together, Kaito always sounded his happiest. I wish they had stayed together…”

Junko rolled her eyes. “Sure. He was great. He just regularly let his sister rape him. Nothing wrong with that. Totally husband material. Look, is this what you're gonna do for the next, I don’t know...how long do humans live? For the next fifty, sixty years? Send stupid, annonymous letters and sigh dramatically all the time?  That’s really boooring. Like, ugh. Let’s just bring him here and you can fuck him or seed him or do whatever you want-”

“We are not making him a seedling,” the man said darkly, glaring at his queen. “That shit made him miserable. I still want Tengan to answer for that.”

“Hey, don’t blame my seedling. He was just having some fun~. And he did his job exceptionally well...well, right up until he didn’t. That little heir apparent of his is...maybe a little more ruthless and a little smarter than I actually wanted him to be. I didn’t want another fucking idiot like Leon, but, ehhhhh….my seedling may have gone overboard…” she admitted, worrying over the latest reports...before suddenly falling into her professional persona, saying, “Now, that little Kaede Momota girl...that could be the perfect balance right there...I wonder if it would be worth it to make her a seedling…”

“That would drive her insane,” the man sighed.

“Luminary won’t notice one more crazy ruler, and it could be worth it to have access to her head...but we’re getting distracted! Let’s just rip this band-aid off! Let’s grab him! You don’t have to make him a seedling! You can make him a pet and enjoy him for the extremely short amount of time he’ll actually be attractive. Enjoy your weird little human fetish, I don’t judge!”

“He’s not a pet to me…” the man growled, frustrated with this particular mentality. His heart didn’t exactly break for humans but...he remembered when they were just ‘other beings’ rather than animals. It was frustrating seeing his friend buy into her own narrative. “...I love him…”

The man sighed, running a hand over his face...before saying, “Besides, he’s married now. And according to Tsumugi, he seems...happy enough. And he’ll get happier with time. If I really loved him, I’d...I’d leave him to it…”

:...that’s bullshit.” Junko sighed, going back to her edgy persona, wacking her friend on the back of his head. “If you loved him, you’d fight for him! Take him back! Protect him! That’s what lovers do! Not this, ‘eh, if you love them let them go’ bullshit!! Besides…”

Junko settled down, her face...neutral. The personas falling away. Trying to show him how serious she was being as she reverted to how she actually was. Blank. Calculating. Someone whose real personality was long lost to the pressures of holding the entire hive mind inside of her, just trying to take care of everyone the best she could…

“...his spores are multiplying again. It’s taking awhile, but it’s happening. I’ve started to be able to feel him again. You probably will be able to feel him too, soon, if you really reached out for him, and...he’s not happy, Thadeus,” Junko said, taking his heavy hands into her own, rubbing them soothingly between her fingers. “He’s losing it, and you can’t even blame it all on the spores. He’s just unhappy...he needs you...I know he won’t be thrilled to be here. I know it’s hard to be human here...but he’ll have you...and I really think that would be enough...”

The man looked at her, wide eyed...before looking down at his hands. Thick, meaty hands...they didn’t have to be. The Siren-Flora could make them any size he wanted, really, or, at least, he could convince Junko to see any size hands he wanted. But he preferred to present his own, true size, when he could. Felt most comfortable that way.

He stared at his hands, held by hers...imagined a different pair of hands there…

“...you can feel him?”

“A little, but yes. Enough.”

“...does he…” The man sighed. Hating himself. “...does he still love me?”

Junko smiled. “Of course, Thadeus,” she lied, rubbing his cheek, having no idea, not able to feel that deeply into him. “He never stopped.”

The man gave a shuddering breath...before sighing. “...Call me Togami,” he said, opening his eyes sadly. Giving into his desires. His loneliness. “I don’t want to confuse him with a lot of different names...that’s the one he knew me by. Alright. Let’s do it. How do we start?”

Junko’s smile grew wider, drawing her friend into a hug. “It already has,” she promised, giggling at his annoyed look. “I sent the order weeks ago. It’ll still take some time. Dicea’s a difficult kingdom to inflitrate. The vampires sure as fuck don’t help, greedy fucks. But don’t worry,” Junko said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “We’ll get your pet back to you.”

Togami sighed, not bothering to correct her again…hoping Kaito would forgive him someday…

And down in the kingdom, in the marketplace, several Flora suddenly started cheering, to the concern and bafflement of their humans, who just tried to stay out of their way. 

Sahara had done it!

She was blackened! 

Sahara and Komaru had won! 

-

Haneda stretched out her wrists as she made her way to the third floor. With Kokichi’s help, they’d enrolled Timothy in a primary school close by, the same one Cali went to. Dealing with her discomfort, Haneda had even made a trip to the school in person to request that Tim and Cali would end up in the same class. And to...sort of explain his guardian situation, and who to expect would pick him up, so there wouldn’t be an abduction scare. 

She’d smirked to herself on the way back to the castle after that, just imagining Maki picking Tim up one day and having the guardforce called on her. 

But now it was time to talk to Tim about everything and...she really didn’t know if it was going to be worse than the talk at the school. Maki and Kaito were kind of nuts, and Luminaries in general were uptight as hell. At the very least, she could let Tim know he didn’t need to keep up the ‘miss’ ‘mister’ shit at school, unless he wanted to be called a super nerd. Not that she thought he was very interested in popularity. One human friend was enough. 

With a sigh, Haneda knocked on Maki’s door, waiting to be let in. 

Maki was staring furiously at the wall...clenching her fist...unclenching it…wanting to scream but...controlling herself…

...the nails were in the wrong spot.

She knew it. She was certain. The nails were...more evenly spaced than she remembered. Still roughly in the same spots, but...more evenly spaced...she was certain…

...which of them had looked!?

Not Kokichi or Shuuichi. They had no reason to look. They knew what was behind the curtain. So...Tim or Kaito...but which one??

As she stared furiously at the curtain, Kaito and Shuuichi were trying to reassure Timothy, waiting for Haneda to arrive, telling him stories about their own school days. “And you get to go on school trips! I bet that’s something that crossed the border! You and your class will get to go on fun trips to fun places every now and again. Like, one time, me, Shuuichi, and your mentor all went to the beac-”

Timothy stared, tired, at his guardian. “Dicean teachers are allowed to just take me away?”

“Um, no, not...not without Kaito and Maki’s permission...probably?” Shuuichi said, looking nervously over at Maki, who seemed...distracted… “I mean, most likely, you’ll need a permission slip...that’s how it was back in Luminary…”

“And you’d only have to go if you wanted to! Or, unless, it was a graded trip...sometimes the trips were needed for a grade...you think they do that here?”

“Kaito, I don’t even feel confident our grading systems are the same. Knowing Diceans? They might just ask the students at the end of year what grade they think they deserve and leave it at at that…”

Kaito snorted, then looked over at Kokichi warily, in case that actually was how it was and he had just laughed at his husband's education system...whoops…

Timothy sighed, too aware of his mentor's strange, incredibly foul mood to dare roll his eyes, but seriously. His...adults, or guardians, or whatever he could call them. They had no idea what was happening. That much was obvious.

The door knocked, and Maki closed her eyes, sighed...and went to go get it.

Opening the door halfway, she looked around warily, before stepping aside to let Haneda in. “Afternoon. Thanks for stopping by. We’ve already explained some things to him, but we could really use your help filling in some holes,” Maki admitted, putting the curtain out of her mind for now.

Haneda nodded a small greeting and came in, finding a spare bit of wall to lean against that wouldn’t have her picking splinters out of her jacket later. At least that was one way of anger management, though it didn’t seem like it worked for Maki at all. “I’ll explain what I can. Didn’t go to school in the city, but it’s more or less the same. Shit’s standardized.”

Crossing her arms, Haneda started with her own news. “Teachers and staff know to look for all of us here to pick Timothy up from school. If anyone else is going to pick him up, we need to send a note with Tim in the morning to let the school staff know.” Giving Tim a somewhat sympathetic look, she continued, “You’d probably be fine walking on your own, but at least for the start of the term, one of us will walk you to and from school. Partly for us to know the way, and to know how long the trip’d take you.”

“Since you’ll be in Cali’s class, school starts at ten, ends at three. Lunch is an hour, and you can have it at school, or come back to the castle, but let us know what you want to do that morning.”

Kokichi nodded a bit, taking the schedule in before asking, “Did you clear Chase with the staff?”

“Yeah. She’s potty trained and not aggressive, so they’re cool with it. Tim,” the nanny addressed the child, “I’m gonna buy Chase a harness soon. Works better than a collar and she probably won’t be able to chew through one as easily.”

Timothy relaxed a little. Miss Kawai at least knew what was going on. That was a comfort. “Yes, Miss Kawai,” he said in regards to the harness. Before asking curiously, “Cali’s really gonna be there?”

“Yep!” Kaito said cheerfully, not planning to mention that was literally the entire reason Kaito and Maki had picked that school, kind of...not knowing what other criteria they were supposed to be looking for. They wanted to set Timothy up for success, but just...had no idea what doing that looked like in Dicea. Just trying to figure that out as they went as Kaito laughed awkwardly, “Guess she’ll be kind of...everywhere for awhile, huh?”

To Kaito’s utter bafflement, when he had woken up this morning to go train Timothy, it being the first day he was in charge of it while Maki was shadowing Lake, he had gone down to the courtyards (Shuuichi in tow, Maki having dropped him off before her shift started) and, instead of finding one little body standing at the ready, there had been...two? And Kaito had stared at the little pink-haired girl in bafflement, before asking, “Uh...can I help you?”

“I’m training with you!” she shouted, at the exact same time as Timothy calmly explained, “Cali wants to learn how to fight.”

Kaito had blinked down at the two, before suddenly giving a worried look around, already feeling eyes on him, though he didn’t see anyone staring as he said, “Uh...Cali...right, the girl Tim plays with...do you mean you want to get fit for...sports or-”

“I wanna spar my mom!!” she shouted, just as Tim said, “No. She wants to learn how to fight.”

Fuck...this was absolutely gonna bite Kaito in the ass...but, not knowing what else to do, he had let Cali stay, and ran the two of them through some drills, Cali going home, drenched in sweat and exhausted, but grinning ear to ear at the end of the training, promising to be back the next day too.

Maki, in turn, considered all of this, with her new schedule… “Kaito, you and Shuuichi will be responsible for dropping Tim off in the morning for the foreseeable future, till something changes. Haneda, can I ask you to be Tim’s primary pickup person for the afternoons for now?”

“What are we going to need for supplies?” Shuuichi asked Haneda, “Do you know? Do the teachers put out a list of supplies students will need for the year?”

“I mean, we could ask them when we go meet them...what?” Kaito asked, noting the look on Maki and Shuuichi’s faces. “Shouldn’t we meet his teachers?”

“...me and Kokichi will go meet his teachers. If that’s alright with you, Kokichi. I want to vet them, and...I don’t want Kaito’s status to work against him. If one of the princes shows up to talk to his teachers, I want it to be the one they’re predisposed to liking,” Maki said.

Haneda nodded her assent to picking Tim up from school (and she internally sighed as she figured she should talk to Cali’s dad too, when she inevitably wanted to come back to the castle to do homework together with Tim...or avoid homework and just play). Meanwhile, Kokichi nodded with a soft smile. “You can meet the teachers later, Kai-chan. You’ll likely see them, at least, when you drop Tim off, and there are open houses every month for guardians to come and see what their kids are doing at school and to talk with the teachers.”

Reaching into her bag, Haneda pulled out a small list of supplies she’d gotten from the school. “Nothin’ fancy. A notebook, or multiple if you wanna divide it by subject, pencils, erasers, probably crayons or pencils to draw with, since the shared ones always have the best colors hogged. Just easier to keep track of your own.”

Passing the list over to Shuuichi for him to look at, she added, “I’m adding in extra food for Chase, a water bottle, a bowl, and a handkerchief for messes. If you don’t already have a school bag, should get one of those too.”

Kokichi peeked over at the list before humming, finding something he was sure schools did, but was pleased to find was true. “All supplies will be available at school, but since you’ll be using those things so much, as Haneda-chan said, it’s easier to keep track of your own. If there’s anything else you’ll need during the term, the school will provide it.”

As Shuuichi pressed the list to memory for a moment (he obviously didn’t need to memorize the list, but, well, ya know...didn't have a lot of use for his skills these days. Maybe memorizing it would help with something. Who knows), and Kaito started worrying to himself that his pseudo-kid was about to be flunked by the school because his pseudo-dad was a psychopath, Maki kept things focused. “As the only person in this room who’s been to a Dicean school, any advice you could give us?” she asked, referring to the rest of the adults in this room. “I plan to ask the teachers the same thing, but you’re a less biased opinion. Anything we could do to help him succeed?”

“...I don’t need to succeed,” Timothy muttered.

Maki couldn’t have turned any faster, fire in her eyes. “I misheard you. Say it again?”

Timothy frowned slightly, briefly frightened by Maki’s anger...but he had noticed by now that Maki tended to hold back on cuts when Diceans were around. Particularly Kokichi. So he squared his shoulders and said, “I’m gonna be an assassin, right? I’m just going to school to learn social skills. That’s why Mr. Saihara and you went to school, right?”

Maki turned her murder eyes to Shuuichi, who flinched. “I...he asked...um…”

Deciding to have a talk with Shuuichi in private later, Maki turned back to Timothy. “Maybe that’s why we went, but not you. You’re going to learn, and you’re going to do well. That’s an order.”

Kaito laughed nervously, getting up and going to put a hand on Tim's shoulders, looking at Maki over him imploringly as he said, “Of course he is! Once he goes, he’ll get a grasp of the material and do fine, Maki.”

Maki glared at Kaito. “He needs to go with the right mentality. He can’t think that it doesn’t matter if he does well or not. He’ll fail from apathy alone.”

“I don’t have to do well. Assassins don’t have to be smart,” Timothy said, muttering under his breath. “Obviously.”

There was a brief moment where Maki looked...genuienly hurt...before her eyes narrowed into murder, not giving a shit there were Diceans around as a dagger fell into her hands and she stepped towards him-

Kokichi quickly hopped off Maki’s bed, inserting himself between Maki and Tim, keeping his hands up placatingly. “Maki-chan, hold on.” Glancing over his shoulder, but still keeping an eye on Maki, Kokichi frowned at Tim. “...that was pretty mean, Tim. And just obviously untrue? Maki-chan is plenty smart. Sometimes it feels like she’s the only one of us that has any sense.”

Giving Maki a small smile, he slowly lowered his hands and turned back to Tim. “...like Maki-chan, said, Haneda-chan is the only one here who’s ever gone to a Dicean school. Kai-chan and I both fought for ages to be able to go to school--he succeeded, and went to high school, and I failed, and was tutored. Maki-chan and Shuu-chan didn’t have a choice in going, but it was an opportunity for them to have some choices in their lives that weren’t decided by someone else. It might feel like you don’t have a choice in this, but...that’s what school is there for.”

“You’ll get to hang out with Cali, and you’ll get to meet other kids your age. Maybe you’ll find friends among them, maybe not, but I think it’s handy to know what kind of people you can be friends with. And what you learn is...sort of up to you. Teachers are there to listen to what sort of things you’re interested in, and then to help you learn more about them. You’ll get out what you put in. So...what do you want to learn, Tim? What do you want to do?”

Timothy gave an openly confused look at Kokichi. “...be an assassin?”

Kaito laughed sheepishly. “Uh, right...but, let’s say, theoretically, you had to be something else?”

Timothy’s eyes widened, looking up at Kaito in alarm. “You’re firing me!?”

“Uhhhhh...ummm...no? Uh...shit, Maki?”

“What? You think I know how to explain it to him?”

Shuuichi hummed slightly to himself, looking around at the life experiences they had available to them. Two Indentured barely making peace with their own freedoms, two princes who had both been told what they were going to be their whole lives, one succeeding and one failing, and based on her files, a former childhood delinquent who had disappeared off the map for a few years before showing up and aiming to be a housekeeper. Wherever she had gone, it probably wasn’t a lifestyle Tim was about to imitate, so...

They needed someone with...like. Actual life experience. Like, normal life experience. The kind that, hopefully, Tim’s would reflect more or less, from now on. They needed…

“Maki,” Shuuichi said, “Can I take Tim to go talk to Hajime?”

Maki raised an eyebrow at him, just leaving him room to explain.

Shuuichi shrugged, blushing slightly. “I just think...he might be the best one to explain what we mean? And Tim respects him. He calls him ‘Uncle’ after all.”

“He paid me a silver piece to call him Uncle,” Timothy explained, deadpan. He added, “He offered me two silver pieces to call him ‘Uncle Handsome’, but I don’t need silver that much.”

Kaito laughed, snorting as he raised an eyebrow. “Really? That’s actually really funny. What if I gave you a gold piece to call me Prince Handsome?”

“Miss Harukawa said I can only lie when it’s in the benefit of a mission or for my safety…”

“That’s cold, kid.”

Maki sighed, rubbing her temple. “Kaito, take Shuuichi and Timothy and see if you can’t find Hajime. Get him to explain about, you know...career tracks and stuff. I don’t know. Whatever Shuuichi wants him to explain. Tell him Maki will kill him. Not for anything. Just generally.”

Kokichi didn’t let his disappointment show on his face, but...it was the same thing as when he’d first thought about Timothy going to school. Tim had...never really been given a choice in his life. In the context of Luminary, he probably thought he was making a choice: be an assassin, or die.

A choice where one option was death wasn’t a real choice. 

If Maki and Shuuichi were struggling with having the world open to them then how could he expect a nine-year-old to embrace it? ...something he had to remember to talk to Kaede about. 

Trying to think of another way to explain this, Kokichi looked over in surprise when Shuuichi came up with an answer first. Hajime...he’d probably have an answer. Maybe even one that would work for Tim. 

But it wasn’t just Tim who needed something out of that exchange. 

After the three boys left, Kokichi turned back to Maki. “...you okay?”

“I’ll just, uh…” Haneda made her way to the door, practically able to feel the emotions that were on their way. “I’ll wait until they come back. Outside of here.”

Maki clenched her hands into fists, half tempted to call the nanny back, and demand the advice she had asked for earlier. She...she needed it. She had no idea what to…

But she kept quiet as the woman left, and when she heard the door close behind her, Maki, in a fury, hurled her arm, and three daggers suddenly all thudded one after another into a plank nearby. Still frustrated, Maki went to the plank to pull them out, and at the last one, slammed the knife back into the plank, lodging it even deeper into it, no doubt damaging the wall behind it. 

The immediate need to...lash out passing, Maki looked over at Kokichi, a little...embarrassed…

“...I have no fucking idea how to raise a civilian,” Maki admitted. Endlessly frustrated. “Not even a little bit.”

By now, Kokichi didn’t flinch when Maki threw her daggers, just watching until she was satisfied. And once she calmed, he sighed softly and came closer to her. “...really, I don’t think anyone knows how to raise any sort of kid. But...you’ve kept him alive and safe, so that’s a pretty good start, in my opinion.”

“...and you’re here. You talk to him, you’re present in his life. When you found out he didn’t have any recreational items, you took him shopping immediately.” Coming a little closer, Kokichi placed a gentle hand on Maki’s arm. “You want the best for him. You’re teaching him to save his money, you’re trying to give him the understanding of a good education...you’re frustrated with yourself for not having all the answers, which means you’re trying. That means a lot more than you think.”

Maki was trying to be a good parent, even having no idea what that looked like. It sounded like she and Shuuichi loved their mentors, but...there was probably a lot of conflict there, between caring for a child, and training them into a job. Kaito...the priestess he loved had died when he was so young. And while Kokichi loved Ikuo to the moon and back...he had left when he was ten, and so much of his early childhood had been spent in bed. Not something Tim would be able to relate to. 

None of them knew how to do this, but they were trying to be better every day. And, in his opinion, that counted for a lot. 

Maki appreciated what Kokichi was saying, but… “Timothy doesn’t have time for me to learn how to be a person. I just spent all morning being told ‘de-escalation’ means ‘not looking like you want to kill them’. “ Maki snarled, pulling at her hair a little, looking worryingly at her feet. “And Shuuichi’s right! I don’t know how grades work here! Or what Timothy has to do to get a real job! Or how to even explain to him that…”

Maki sighed, starting to pace the room. “...we can’t just tell him he’s not mentoring to be an assassin anymore. That’s not an option. If we tell him that, then I’m not his mentor anymore. I’m just a ‘guardian’ and...I don’t even know what that means!? How can I explain it to him!? Am I his parent!? His permanent babysitter?!” 

Pacing harder, she said, “It’s why he treats me and Kaito so differently. Well, that and Kaito lets him get away with it. I’m his mentor. That title demands respect in Luminary. I’m supposed to be the one who ensures he has the skills he needs to make it through adulthood. He respects me because I ensure his survival...but...I don’t know how to survive in Dicea! I just hide away in this castle doing the same thing I did back at home! Do I train Timothy to just follow you and Kaito around for the rest of his life, seeing danger everywhere!? Or is that me trapping him here!? Is there literally anything else I can teach him!? Do I know anything else!?”

Stopping, frustrated and ranting, she told Kokichi, “I barely got through school. I cheated off Shuuichi constantly. I intimidated teachers into looking the other way. One time, I was failing math, and it looked like I was going to be held back a year, and Kaito walked into the teacher’s office, walked back out, and told me I was getting a ‘C’ now, and I’d be able to move onto the next year. I can’t do any kind of math in my head. My writing skills are atrocious, and my reading skills aren’t much better. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. I was sent to learn social skills and that’s it. That’s all I needed. Everything I did to pass? The connections, the intimidations, the cheating? All tests of my social skills. It was expected of me...and…”

Maki put a hand on her forehead. Looking...almost afraid. “...how am I supposed to help Timothy do it any differently? I’m going to set him up to fail. I shouldn’t be his mentor,” Maki said, something close to panic in her voice as she dared to voice aloud a fear she had been having for ages, “I’m bad for him. I’m setting him up to fail!”

There were so many reassurances Kokichi wanted to give Maki. That grades didn’t matter so much, that jobs depended on your working skills. That Maki’s role as a guardian was whatever she made of it, parent or babysitter or whatever. That Tim should respect her because of the knowledge that she was looking out for him. That no matter what, Tim would survive in Dicea. That there was more Maki herself was capable of. That the skills she’d ‘failed’ in were far from the only things you learned in school. 

But if she didn’t believe herself capable of any of that…

Kokichi sighed and gave Maki a blank look. Not sympathetic or judging or...anything. Just blank. “...do you think anyone else would do better?”

“Other people would have better ideas of what school can provide for someone but...that’s what Hajime is explaining to Tim right now. A resource that you have, and are using.” 

Tilting his head a little, Kokichi’s gaze drifted upwards as he thought. “...our adoption rates are high. And even if Tim didn’t get adopted or go live with a foster family, the orphanages take care of children really well. He would have a good life. But you and Kai-chan and Shuu-chan have something I don’t think anyone else in Dicea can give him.”

“Understanding of how goddamn terrifying Dicea is for you.” His gaze found Maki again, still blank. Just saying things. “You say you don’t know how to be a person? Neither does he. He’s talking with Hajime right now because he doesn’t have a concept of choosing what to do with his future. As much as I hope I gave you all the choice and freedom in the matter...I still offered you the security job. Shuu-chan has no idea what he’s going to do when he’s clean, but he’s offered to help me with research for administrative duties. Because he knows me, and saw that that was something he could do.”

“...we have veterans now, but still not many people in Dicea know death and suffering like you do. Like Tim does. No one is going to understand the hierarchical control you were under. I try, but...I know I can barely relate to you guys. Whether she thinks she’s capable or not, Maki-chan is one of the only people here who can explain life and the world to Tim in a way he can understand. Personally...I think that’s more valuable than any marks you could’ve gotten in school.”

Maki’s eyes widened, a genuine shock flooding her system at the mere suggestion… ”No,” she said, staring at Kokichi in horror. “Of course I’m not sending him to an orphanage.”

She...she knew Kokichi wasn’t actually suggesting that. That he was just making a point. But the sheer horror that had washed through her at just the thought...she didn’t care if it was different here. She wasn’t going to abandon him...he was hers…

But the shock made her listen, and she stared at him, feeling kind of...lost in the middle of her own room. Just listening to Kokichi and hoping that something he’d say would make sense of all this. Justify her ruining her charge’s future just because she didn’t know how to person yet…

And she swallowed hard, all of that..making sense to her. A lot of sense, actually. 

A Dicean might be...might be better for Timothy when it came to things like school. Sure. But...would they know what to do when he suddenly hid behind their hips? Suddenly couldn’t look them in the eyes? Would they be stern when he got it into his head that he could scale the outside of buildings, convinced he had all the skills of an assassin already? Would they understand that he just...genuinely didn’t understand what they meant when they asked him things like what he wanted to be? When he wasn’t even accustomed to making choices like what he was going to do that day?

What would they say to him, when he had nightmares about stabbing people with spears? Would they look at him with horror? Make him feel evil? ‘Other’?

Maki gripped her fists...her body shaking…tears in her eyes…

“I won’t abandon him…” Maki said, heartbroken at even the idea. “He’s my kid…”

...taking a breath, Maki composed herself, wiping the tears from her cheeks, annoyed with them. Her tears were her own. No one else’s. She didn’t have to show them to anyone. Taking another breath, she said, “...you’re right.  I’ll just...I have resources. Shuuichi was right. If we don’t know what we’re talking about, we...we have to ask someone who does. Hajime lived a fairly normal life, as far as I understood it. And Seiko became an expert in her chosen field. If I want to know how to help Timothy succeed in school, I should go to her for advice. And between the four of us and Haneda and...there’s got to always be someone who knows what they’re talking about. I’ll just...figure out who knows what, and move from there.”

Maki sighed...feeling reassured...before looking at Kokichi. Smiling softly. “...thanks…”

Kokichi had to hide his smile until Maki had made up her mind, but… Tim was her kid. She wouldn’t be the perfect parent, but...that just made her the same as any other parent. As long as she always tried to do her best for him, to seek help when she didn’t know what to do...it’d be alright. 

...he should talk to Aiichi. He hadn’t asked for help, outside of Ikuo, and had refused when other people tried to, but...his father had tried. He didn’t have to forgive Aiichi for all the miserable, lonely nights, but...he could try to understand his father more now. Maybe give a relationship another go. 

Tim might resent them. But they would make sure he was safe and had every opportunity available to him, and give all the love they could. And...maybe one day Tim would have that kind of realization too. 

Approaching her again, Kokichi let his proud smile show as he gently touched Maki’s arm. “No problem. You care about Tim, and that’s where everything starts. And he has a lot of other people who care about him and want to see him grow up well. And for me...even if you guys are older than me, I want to see you guys succeed and grow up well too. Learn how to ‘person’. I think I’ll be learning too, even if my struggles are different.”

They were in their room alone so...Kokichi took a chance, just for a moment leaning in to give Maki’s arm a hug.

They were alone, so Maki didn’t hesitate, gently pulling Kokichi into a hug. It wasn’t a bone-crushing hug, like Kaito’s, or the kind of hug where it felt half-desperate for love returned, like Shuuichi’s. Just a...presence. Everything in it attempting to be stable. Steadfast. Calm reassurance.

Maki didn’t always succeed at being who she wanted to be. She wished she was colder. Less emotional. Less...passionate. She’d give away all of those emotions, if she could. Bury them away, but keep her goals. She was certain she’d be better without them. More useful.

But...this kind of emotion wasn’t so bad. Didn’t hurt as much as the others. Didn’t feel as hindering, as worthlessly heated. Just...nice. To care about someone and be cared about in return. 

It was…nice. To be vulnerable with someone, sometimes. 

But she sighed as there was a courtesy knock at the door, and it opened up. She let Kokichi go, taking a step back. Reserving herself again. 

As the group walked in, Hajime tried again. “No, but see, you don’t actually have a job yet. I mean, other than going to school, I guess? That’s your first job. They can’t fire you from being an assassin because you’re not hired as an assassin yet.”

“So...does that mean I don’t have to train anymore?”

“I don’t know. Is Maki gonna throw you out of a window if you don’t train with her?”

“But if I’m not an assassin-in-training-”

“She’s still your mom, kid. Or, guardian, or mentor, or whatever. You train cause she wants you to.” Hajime chuckled, looking up at Maki imploringly, as Kaito and Shuuichi and Haneda followed them inside, Maki’s room suddenly much smaller as it filled with more people. “Right? You want him to train, right? I was, uh, explaining to him that school’s supposed to help him be figuring out what career he wants when he gets older, and he got real hung up on this idea that he already has a job? And...he doesn’t...right?” Hajime asked, glancing at Kokichi for confirmation.

Maki looked frustrated, her eyes narrowing...but she stayed quiet. Trusting that Hajime and Kokichi could maybe portray that idea to Timothy, when she herself kind of...couldn’t really get her own head around it.

Kokichi was surprised for a moment, but didn’t let it keep him from enjoying the hug. Out of all his friends, he and Maki were the closest in height--she was only slightly taller than him. He liked the way Kaito and Shuuichi could envelop him, but...there was something nice in turning his head and being able to breathe over Maki’s shoulder, in his arms actually able to hug all the way around her. 

And then the moment was over, but Kokichi’s smile remained. Even with the next problem to talk through. 

Giving a slight apologetic look to Hajime and Haneda, since he didn’t know how much they knew, Kokichi focused on Timothy. “Technically, no. The Indentured Citizen Program doesn’t exist in Dicea, Tim. You’re a full Dicean Citizen. That means that the jobs run through the program aren’t jobs here. So...no, you don’t already have a job, just like Maki-chan isn’t an assassin anymore, and Shuu-chan isn’t a detective. Right now, you and Shuu-chan don’t have jobs, but Maki-chan interviewed with me to become my bodyguard, so that’s her job now. We signed a lot of papers that laid out the rules for that, rules that we both made and agreed on, and we’ll be breaking the law if either of us break the rules that we made. So...unless you did that with someone in the past month and a half and no one told me, you don’t have a job.”

“Until school, at least,” Kokichi grinned, bringing it back. Hopefully in a way that made sense.

Timothy gave them all troubled, wary looks...crossing his arms, literally surrounded by six people who were all trying to work together to figure out how to explain to him what the fuck being a citizen was all about. 

Frowning, Timothy asked Maki, “So...then...am I not under your charge?”

And the non-stop debate started.

Maki gave him a troubled look, and realizing she didn’t know what to say, Kaito jumped in. 

“No, you’re still Maki’s charge. Dicea just has...different words for it?” Kaito asked, losing certainty at the end of the statement. “...is Guardianship just a different word for mentor, or-?”

Shuuichi closed his eyes. “Mentorship is the process of taking an apprentice and training them for a specific career field. Guardianship is taking legal responsibility for the well being of someone under eighteen. It’s not the same thing.”

“So, I’m not-”

“But, but!” Hajime stepped in quickly, seeing Shuuichi was leading in the wrong direction, “This is about, like, what’s expected of you, right? Because you guys live on orders and stuff? Mentorship and Guardianship are still pretty similar then!”

Kokichi nodded. “Like what Ikuo said before, remember? He said he was my mentor, but just because that’s the word we figured you guys would understand our relationship through the best. He was, officially, my…” Kokichi’s gaze, instead of focused on Tim, darted from Maki, to Haneda, to Hajime. “...my nanny.”

Maki looked alarmed at this statement, as Timothy immediately looked at Haneda, just more confused now as he said, “So...am I Miss Kawai’s charge?”

Haneda huffed and shrugged a little. “Sort of. It means that I can pick you up from school and walk around town with you without people throwing a piss-fit over a kid goin’ around by themself, but you’re Maki’s through and through, kid. She’s legally responsible for you, but she’s also working her ass off for your happiness and future.”

Timothy gave Maki a worried look at that. She...she was?

“Look, Tim…” Kaito tried this time, thinking of his words carefully. “...I...look, I’m just gonna say it okay? Because maybe it’s...not a good thing? Us skipping around this idea? I mean, this is new for all of us...we haven't even really talked about it among ourselves…”

“Kaito, if you’re trying not to freak him out, speaking in riddles doesn’t help,” Hajime said sternly. 

“Right! Look…” Fuck, was this going to be a bad thing to say? He just didn’t want to...put any ideas out there that gave Timothy false hope for something more stable in his life but...well, that was just refusing to commit, wasn’t it. And Timothy...the kid needed them to commit. So.

Kaito pointed to himself. “‘I’m your dad. Sorry about that. Uh, I’m working on it.”

He pointed to Hajime. “I guess your...look, man, what’s with the uncle thing?”

Hajime shrugged. “I like the kid. He lives in the castle. And I had lots of ‘honorary’ uncles and aunts growing up. Why not?”

“That’s true,” Kokichi hummed. “A lot of people who worked here while I was growing up are my uncles and aunts, so that works for Tim too.”

“Okay, fine, he’s your uncle,” Kaito said. “Whatever, we’ll go with that. She’s your nanny,” he said, pointing to Haneda. “Which means you listen to her and respect her, but, like, also respect that it’s a job, right?”

Haneda nodded, closing her eyes for a moment. “I’m not your mom. But I wanna see you succeed, Tim. If you need me to kick the shit out of some uppity fuck, I’ll do it, but at the end of the day, we’d both answer to,” she snorted softly, an amused look in her eyes as she looked at Maki before rolling her eyes over to Kaito, figuring she’d play along with his set up. “-your dad. They could fire me if they wanted, even if Aiichi hired me for you.”

“Right. Doubt we would, because fuck we’d be lost without her right now, but yeah,” Kaito said, looking around, looking to Kokichi and Shuuichi next, “Shuuichi is your…?”

“I’ll take uncle status,” Shuuichi said with a pleased shrug. “I like the idea. Though I’m not paying a silver for the honor,” he said, smirking at Timothy.

“Right! Uncle! And Kokchi is…” Kaito hesitated. “...s-step-dad? Dad-in-law?”

Kokichi shrugged a bit, feeling...uncomfortable with the ‘dad’ title, but...he wanted to be there for Timothy too. “Your dad’s husband? Dad-in-law might work.” Looking back over to Timothy, he gave the boy a small smile. “...I know we don’t really understand each other, but...if you ever need anything, Timothy, I’ll always do my best to do what I can for you. Because you’re a Dicean, yeah, but also because I care about you, and people I care about care about you too. Even with this conversation, I wouldn’t expect you to call me dad or anything like that, but...I’m here for you. In whatever relation you want.”

Timothy blinked at Kokichi, before mentally deciding, okay. ‘Prince Kokichi’ with that one. 

Kaito nodded. “Yep! Couldn’t be more clear! Um...and, well, Maki?”

Maki stared at Timothy hard...crossing her arms. Just as uncomfortable saying hers as Kokichi was saying his. Not...not wanting to promise a relationship that she couldn’t follow through on. Not wanting to hurt him like that...but…

...he was hers…

Her face hardened. “I’m your mom. We’ll make it official at some point. And you train because I want you to know how to move well and fight and defend yourself. And you’ll do well in school because I want you to have any option available to you that you want in the future. And you’ll work at all of those things because I’m telling you to...and I’m...I’m telling you to because…”

She stopped. Looking around the group. Embarrassed and frustrated and feeling exposed…

So closing her eyes and frowning, she said, “Come here.”

And Timothy obeyed immediately, because his confusion was purely technical. He was always going to listen to her. He just wanted to understand his place here. So he went to her, and she knelt down, putting her hands around his ear, and whispered to him.

“I love you. I’ll make decisions with you in mind. Always. You can trust me, Timothy.”

And Timothy’s eyes widened, staring at her in shock. No idea...what to do with that. No one having ever said anything like that to him before. And he just continued to stare at her in shock as she straightened up, staring down at him impassively. “There. Does that clear everything up?”

Timothy stared at her, this all being...kind of a lot...looking from person to person, associating them with the new titles given...he had lots of questions. This whole conversation had made more questions for him than answers. But… but…

...he looked at Maki. “You’re going to make it official?”

“Yes,” she said. “It’ll clear things up.”

Timothy nodded, before looking to Kaito...giving him a questioning look.

Kaito sighed. “Mine would be more complicated...I think it would make things harder for you if I did that...but you can consider me, unofficially, your father, okay? I’ll do my best.”

...Timothy sighed. “You all are so weird…”

Haneda scoffed. “Welcome to Dicea, kid.”

-

It had been a nice moment, and after that they nailed down more specifics of what Tim’s school life was probably going to look like. But that whole conversation made Kokichi realize he had a long overdue one to get to. 

That evening, after dinner, Kokichi gave his father’s office door a polite knock before stepping in. 

Turning to look at his new guest, Aiichi smiled warmly at his son. “Ah, Ko, hello! You know, I’ve enjoyed seeing you at dinner more regularly these days. I know you pick your food out yourself, but I can’t help thinking that having Ikuo back has made you pick a little more carefully.”

Holding back a sigh, Kokichi tried not to just leave then and there. 

“I was hoping we could talk, if you have a sec?” Kokichi kept his grip on the door, nodding his head towards it, asking if his father would be alright with a closed door conversation. 

Something like surprise came across Aiichi’s face before he nodded, getting up from his desk to sit in one of the meeting chairs. He wondered what this was. Obviously there was plenty that Ko would want to talk about but...he never thought there would be anything his son would want to talk to him about. If it wasn’t related to business, Ko never really talked to him at all. 

(It was something the leader regretted, now, but what was done was done.)

Sitting across from him, Kokichi folded his hands in his lap and was quiet for a moment before speaking. “...thank you. There’s a lot in my life I resented you for but...you always did what you thought was best for me. My whole life...you’ve just wanted to see me safe. And I didn’t always make it easy for you…”

Aiichi laughed softly, something pained hidden in his eyes. “That you didn’t. But...yes. Everything I did for you, Ko, all of it was always out of love.” The leader went quiet this time before smiling at his son. “...we were so excited for you. Right away, your mother and I both knew that you were going to be someone incredible. And, in my excitement…” 

His smile dropped off. “...I should’ve waited until you were older before declaring that you were the heir. You’re my son--there was no need to claim you right away. You weren’t going anywhere.”

And that foolish mistake had cost him his wife. Likely, his son’s health. 

Kokichi’s gaze went far away, dropped between the two of them. “...and you made sure of that, even after I had even the slightest opportunity to go.”

“I felt so alone. All the time. Every time I was scared or angry, no one would listen to me. They’d just write it off as a tantrum and take me to bed.” Kokichi looked back up at his father, hurt glimmering in amethyst pools. “I didn’t have any friends. Anyone to talk to. Because I couldn’t leave, and everyone nearby worked for you and never treated me like a person. Just something to be managed. People worked hard to keep me alive, but for what?! If I was never allowed to do anything with that life, then what was the point?!”

No parent wanted to hear their child say something like that, feel that way, and Aiichi was no exception. Getting up from his seat, he crossed over and knelt in front of his son, gently putting his hands over the (tiny) ones in Kokichi’s lap. 

“...I’m so sorry…” Clasping those small hands, Aiichi looked up at his son, regret and sadness clearly showing in gold. “I was always so afraid for you. Every time you collapsed or couldn’t breathe… All I wanted was to give you the chance to grow up. To make it to each new day. You’d never have a chance to do anything if you were dead...but not doing anything made you wish for that…”

“...but you’re not hooked up to that machine, unable to live without something else breathing for you. You are my son, a grown man, all without my help...or in spite of it.” Aiichi’s smile was humorless. Reaching up, he smoothed away some of Kokichi’s hair out of his face. “You have done so much. And you will do more. Kokichi, our little luck, you were meant for greatness, and you still are. I want to protect you from the world, but doing that would mean a great loss for it. I love you, my future leader, and I can’t wait to see what you will do.”

Kokichi felt his eyes burn and he held his father’s hand with his own, always feeling like the shoes he had to fill were far too large but now...in front of him. Not far away, on some untouchable pedestal. “I love you, dad… There’s so much I want to do…”

Concern bled into Aiichi’s expression as he continued to stroke Kokichi’s unruly hair, old muscle memory kicking in. “...are you happy?”

“...I am.” Kokichi smiled through the tears starting to spill over. “They make me really happy. The world is so much more different than I thought...but that just makes me want to protect it even more. To preserve that happiness…”

Aiichi smiled and kissed Kokichi’s forehead. “I knew you were our leader.”

-

As confident as Kaito had been, actually...going to see Dr. Ford was a different thing.

An hour and thirty minutes?

Did he really have to be here an hour and thirty minutes?

...doing what?

Well, so far it seemed to be just making small talk. Dr. Ford getting to know him a bit? He asked him how the long trip from Luminary had been. Fine. Rained too much at first and then not enough later. Did you have any friends in the party that you miss? A few. People he had gotten along with on the journey down. A few people he had sle…

Kaito frowned, suddenly looking nervous. Staring down at his hands, popping the joints gently. “Um, I mean, the only two who really mattered stayed with me, so…”

Dr. Ford smiled gently. “Were you going to say you had some romantic partners on the way over?”

Kaito hadn’t meant to say that. 

The older man chuckled good-naturedly. “I don’t see why you’re so embarrassed. The fact that you were ready to say it to someone you’ve really only just met shows you aren’t shy about such subjects. Do I make you uncomfortable in particular?”

“No, no, sorry. I just...I wasn’t supposed to do that. I was coming down to get married, so...that was kind of a...I wasn’t trying to disrespect Kokichi or-”

Dr. Ford nodded. “Ah, I see. No relations while you’re promised to someone. I suppose I can understand that mentality, though I doubt anyone here would judge you too harshly for a few sexual partners six months before you’ve even first met your betrothed. Hard to argue that such a thing counts as ‘cheating’, in my personal opinion.”

“Yeah?” Kaito asked, sounding a little relieved. He relaxed even more when the doctor gave an enthusiastic nod.

“Your marriage to Prince Kokichi is a unique circumstance, Kaito. Especially for Dicea. Having a choice that important to you, made on your behalf? It’s not unusual or shameful that your feelings didn't reflect the situation you were put in right away. And, more importantly for your therapy, I would encourage you to not hold back saying things to me, even if it makes you embarrassed, or you worry it’ll upset or offend me in some way. Communication is eighty percent of what these sessions are! It won’t help for you to get all shy and mumbling on me.”

Kaito nodded, giving the doctor an appreciative, if still very nervous grin. “Got it. Thanks...um, what’s the other twenty percent?”

“Hmmm?” Dr. Ford asked, marking something on his clipboard. He had been doing that since the session had started. Kaito kept finding himself looking at the back of it, wondering what was written there. “Oh, yes. Practical exercises. Bits of homework, some writing assignments. Stress tests, that sort of thing.”

Kaito frowned slightly...before nodding. Though he couldn’t help but ask,  “Stress tests?”

Dr. Ford nodded, writing something else on his clipboard. “Oh, yes. It all goes towards your grades at the end of each week, which of course all goes towards the final report. Not that that is something you should have any real concern about. You’re going to do exceptionally well, I am certain of it. I am looking forward to seeing you walk out of here a free man, Kaito.”

Kaito stared at him, hopelessly confused… “Um, Dr. Ford? I...look, I’ve never done anything like this before, and I...I guess I just haven't been asking the right questions? I mean, I took a psychology class once, but that class was mostly just learning about physicians who coined certain terms more than anything practical… Um...could you explain therapy sessions to me like someone who's never heard of them before? Like, grades? What am I being graded on?”

The doctor gave Kaito an openly surprised look, before that look settled into something like concern as he said, “...no one told you this is a graded program? Not even your husband? Oh dear...perhaps he didn’t want you to know...if the courts requested you not be made aware...shoot, why wouldn’t anyone have sent me a notice?  I’ve really put my foot in my mouth...this could really get me into trouble…I could end up getting my license temporarily suspended...shoot…”

Kaito felt a shock of nervousness running through his body, suddenly just incredibly aware that he had done something wrong here as he said, “I’m sorry, did I...you don’t have to say if it’ll get you into trouble!”

Dr. Ford sighed, looking grave...tapping his pen on his clipboard...before giving Kaito a serious look. “Honestly, I’ve already said too much already and...I do like you, Kaito. You seem a good kid...okay. I’m going to tell you exactly how this program works. But...for the sake of my practice? Kaito Momota...I need you to swear you will not let on to anyone else you know about the grading system, the potential consequences of the final report, or the stress tests. I know it’s irresponsible to put that kind of pressure on a patient...but if the courts ordered those reports sealed from you, and people found out I told you anyway? They could suspend my license for training for up to a year, or could decide to take away my right to practice entirely. Telling anyone has very serious consequences for me. Even your husband. Especially the prince. Do you understand?”

Kaito felt another spark of nervousness...before nodding. “Okay...I promise…”

Dr. Ford gave him another hard, appraising look...before sighing, and chuckling slightly. “Ah, well. I have made my bed already, yes? May as well lie in it. Besides, like I said, I am not worried for you. You appear to genuinely wish to get better, and that is the most important step of all. So!”

“Like you already know, these sessions are three days a week, for the next six weeks. But, every individual session gets an individual grade, based on how well your recovery is going. At the end of the week, each of those grades get added up together, saying how well you did for the week. Since I’ve made the mistake of telling you about them, if you’d like, I can actually let you know how you’re doing each week, so you can know what you’re doing well on, and what you’re doing poorly on. Our secret, yes?” The doctor laughed, giving Kaito a wink, who laughed nervously in return. 

“Then! At the end of our six weeks together, I put together a final report, where every week is graded together, to give a final report to the courts. Based on that report, it will be decided if the six weeks were enough to get you on the right track, or…” the doctor sighed. “If more...dramatic steps need to be taken to make you a functional member of society.”

Kaito swallowed. “...like what?”

“If the grade is low, but passing? Just additional therapy sessions like this one, not a big deal. But, if you fail entirely? Which I can’t imagine how you would,” the doctor added in quickly, trying to reassure him, “Only the truly unsalvageable types fail entirely, which I’m certain you won’t prove yourself to be, Kaito...but if you failed? Well...the courts may be lenient and only give you, say, two years of isolation...though it can go as high as five…”

Kaito clenched both fists, ice running through his veins. No idea what to say. He...there could be a punishment that severe? He could be taken away from Kokichi? Maki and Shuuichi? He had...he had just promised Timothy he was going to be his dad! He… “I...I…”

“Calm, calm down, it’s okay. Would you like some water? I’ve added some sugar to it to sweeten it. Here, take it, drink it all. You’ll feel better,” Dr. Ford assured him, pouring a pitcher of water into a glass and bringing it to Kaito, who took it gratefully, sipping it but...his nose scrunched up slightly. That was...really sweet. 

Still, not wanting to appear ungrateful, Kaito drank it down, and his nerves did feel a little calmer with some water in him as he said, “I...I don’t understand why Kokichi wouldn’t have told me…”

“It could have been a decision from the courts themselves. Or the king? Or even Kokichi himself may have requested the program be sealed from your knowledge. Some people don’t react well under pressure, and knowing they’re being graded can sabotage them. Perhaps he was simply hoping to give you your very best chance,” the doctor suggested soothingly, smiling slightly as Kaito nodded. 

“Yeah...that makes sense...is it hard to fail?” Kaito asked, giving the doctor a concerned look, before glancing at his clipboard with renewed concern, “How am I….how am I doing today?”

The doctor chuckled. “Yes, it’s very hard to fail. Again, I am not worried about it for you. I am certain you will do fine. Though, getting off topic does technically count against you, and we've been merely discussing the rules of  the program for…” the doctor glanced at his watch and sighed, before marking his clipboard again, “Twenty minutes now...hmmmm…well, that’s not going to lower your grade too bad…”

Kaito gripped the glass tighter and straightened up. “Well, let’s get back on topic then! We don’t have to talk about the tests or anything, I’ll figure it out as we go. What do you want to talk about?”

The doctor smiled warmly at Kaito’s enthusiasm, marked something onto his clipboard, and they began.

-

Kokichi smiled in warm appreciation at Shuuichi, going over the short list he’d made of things Shuuichi could research. If he felt like it. “So, it would save me time if you could, like, make a list of all the towns that had their plumbing systems redone in the past year, or find the middle modals of corn prices from last year? Just finding the report that lists them would be helpful too if you didn’t want to do that.”

...it wasn’t that he didn’t want Shuuichi to help him, or that he was nervous about Shuuichi having too much of an unofficial hand in administrative matters. In part, it was...he’d never relegated work to someone like this before. Already he could feel himself wanting to ask Shuuichi to forget it, and just do the research himself. Not wanting to bother his boyfriend… 

But Shuuichi had asked. He wanted something to fill his time, and this was what he wanted. To do something helpful. 

It still didn’t make Kokichi any less nervous about giving Shuuichi any longer-term work. 

Shuuichi nodded, looking at some of the hard, thick binders Kokichi had already brought up to his room, but keeping in mind that his boyfriend had warned him that the information he needed might not be in these ones at all, and he might need to make some trips to the Records Archive.

Shuuichi had been relieved to find out this was a different room than the Library Archive. He uh...wasn’t certain he could handle another trip down there…

And, honestly, he wasn’t certain he could handle this. But he wanted to. He wanted to badly.  He was so fucking bored. All the time. Sure his...body kinda ached this morning, and he had woken up kind of sweating? And that hadn’t stopped. He was wearing one of his thicker jackets, but he still felt really...cold...and he could feel himself getting irritable with people again today. Everything everyone was saying making him want to roll his eyes or exasperating him. He had practically shoved Kaito off of him when he had tried to insist on way more morning kisses getting his dose this morning than Shuuichi was up for.

Tch. ‘Dose’...yeah right…

Shuuichi was starting to wise up that his doses might just...literally be nothing by this point. He still wanted them! Just in case they weren’t….but he felt terrible, and the medicine kept changing every other day. He didn’t even know which version he was on by now. Dr. Kimura would just show up, ask how he was, and then the next day Maki would be replacing his medicine with a new set. And the new set would help with the latest thing, but then his body would just...do something new…

...it was so frustrating…

But he didn’t want Kokichi to see that. He really, really wanted something to do. If he wasn’t here with Kokichi, helping out, he was going to end up back with Kaito, sitting under the tree watching him train the kids. Or even worse, with Maki on her shadow-trip with Lake. Both of those options sounded dull and awful. So…

He smiled up at Kokichi. “I’ll do the plumbing one first. Sounds easy enough.”

Then he started looking through the ledgers, checking the table of contents first, trying to find the right subject. Hmmm…SSIC...Standard Subject Identification Codes. Seemed similar to Luminary’s NCCS code System. Shuuichi guessed organizational methods weren’t influenced by base moral philosophies and were more universally standard. Nice. Okay, so…probably under 11000-12000, Facilities Onshore… it could also maybe be in the 4000’s? Logistics? Maybe...did any of these ledgers go up to 11000? Hmmm…

“Thanks, Shuu-chan. Appreciate ya.” Kokichi returned the smile before getting to work himself, heading and addressing all the letters he’d taken from the mailroom today. He could tell Shuuichi wasn’t in the best mood today, but if he said he could work, then Kokichi would trust him. 

Honestly...Kokichi would be thrilled to have Shuuichi as a proper research assistant. Compensating him for his work, even if Shuuichi only wanted to do it to sate his boredom. And if Shuuichi was hired, then he could actually take a look at the letters, be better informed for what he was actually looking for. 

Kokichi had actually put in a request, asking to put up a job posting for an assistant. Not just for research, but for his duties in general. Have another set of hands and a brain working through the never-ending stream of letters. Maybe...let him feel better about not clearing out the bins every day...give himself the okay to rest. To have something of a social life. Get more work done overall...let his father focus on in-person meetings more. Maybe make more of a noticeable difference...work harder to ensure that no one felt hopeless or alone…

Anyway. It would be awesome if Shuuichi got the job, and he’d already mentioned that he’d put up the request, but...he didn’t think Shuuichi had applied. He...didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on Shuuichi when he was already dealing with so much…

Turning away from his desk to take a drink of water, Kokichi casted a soft, fond look at his boyfriend. Truly hoping that the worst was behind them all. 

Shuuichi had gotten lucky with the plumbing. It had, in fact, been in the 11000’s...but more importantly, it had been in the 11450’s, and Kokichi had just happened to bring up the binder where the 11450’s were filed. It still took a minute to start finding the report he actually needed, as unfortunately, there didn’t appear to be a plumbing-specific report listing all the towns. What he had ended up needing to do was work out how the list or recent town updates were listed, then look through each town’s reported list and check to see if plumbing systems were listed within the last year, marking in his journal which ones were or weren’t. Which was...insufficient...there were a lot of towns...there had to be a workaround…

Shuuichi, brow furrowed, poured over the paperwork, trying to find a more efficient way of doing it. There were literally thousands of towns. The problem was, the castle staff didn’t organize when towns got updated themselves. It seemed to be up to the individual town or section to determine when their plumbing systems needed updating, based on the fact that each individual section had its own independent plumbing company installing and maintaining the systems. So none of the plumbing systems were exactly the same… they all had different needs and timelines, and it didn’t look like any of the plumbing companies covered more than a handful of towns…

Well, okay, that was still better than looking through each town individually. Did the plumbing companies send the castle reports of which towns they had worked on recently? If the castle staff was meant to keep track, they must, right? It would help keep the plumbing companies accountable, without relying on all the individual towns to accurately send reports. At least the report formats were somewhat standardized, though, sigh...a lot of the towns were using different words and titles for the same things. Probably a regional difference. It’d be easy enough to learn with repetition, but...no, he needed to find the reports from the companies themselves. It wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be easier…hmmm...oh, he bet the reports wouldn’t be filed under facilities ashore. It’d probably be related to business, right? Let’s see...maybe 7000s under Financial? 7200 listed Company Yearly Financial Reports...they’d have to document large town projects like that in there. Yeah. Okay. That was probably Shuuichi’s golden ticket…

Shoot. Two 7000 binders, but neither of them had any of the 7200’s. Alright then…

Shuuichi sighed, getting up. “I gotta head to the Records Archive. Need company finance lists. Do you need me to grab anything while I’m down there?”

Kokichi looked up, then scanned over the ledgers he happened to already have in his room. “Mmm...Incident reports from mid-fall of last year. Should be...1200’s? Yuliya-chan will know for sure.”

Blinking, Kokichi realized that… “Oh, Yuliya-chan is our head archivist. I don’t think you’ve ever met her? She’s, like, a wizard at organization, so you can just ask her for the thing you need, in titles or numbers, and she’ll get it to ya right away. Thanks, Shuu-chan.”

Kokichi had just been about to turn back to his desk when there was a knock on the door. ...without a call of housekeeping, as they’d started doing, getting the hint that Kaito had been insisting on for the past month. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and training shouldn’t be done yet…

Casting a questioning look to Shuuichi, Kokichi got up to answer the door. On the other side was a young woman, tall with light brown hair tied into two low buns, goggles sitting on her head. Giving Kokichi a smile and a polite nod, she said, “Greetings, Prince Kokichi! I am Nadya Milai, sent to work under your instruction as your administrative assistant. I am pleased to come to your acquaintance and vow to work to my greatest capacity.”

Maybe Kokichi would’ve been surprised because he’d only sent in his request the day before. That their hiring team had found someone interested in the position and had conducted interviews and contract negotiations within a day. 

But the thing that surprised him most was… 

“Nadya Milai?! The baseball player?!”

...oh.

The position was filled already.

Shuuichi swallowed something like disappointement...which was dumb. He knew he shouldn’t apply for the job, despite the strong hints Kokichi was giving him. Not...not right now. He couldn’t even kind of pretend to himself that a full time job was even something he could kind of handle right now. He hadn’t been planning to apply.

Still...that was fast…

Well. Whatever. Get over it, Saihara. 

Shuuichi waited patiently by the door, hoping she would come in and he could get past her soon. Still had to get those ledgers. If...if Kokichi still wanted his help after this, anyway...whatever.

Shuuichi looked the woman up and down, noting the goggles with some amusement. What, was she planning to do some woodwork while she was here too? Well, maybe she had ridden a horse here. Or...maybe a habit leftover from playing baseball? Protecting her eyes. 

Kokichi said it like she was famous. A sports star maybe? Who then...moved on in what looks like prime health to be an...administrative assistance for the heir apparent? Weird...Shuuichi didn’t say anything though. Just sorta stared vaguely at their midsections, waiting for them to move.

Nadya nodded, something amused in her expression. “That is correct. However, I will not allow my time in sports interfere with my work for you. During the hours I am here, naturally.”

Kokichi nodded back, still a little star-struck, but recovering. He’d only asked for part-time employees, feeling too awkward having someone put in the hours he did. But...this was great! With Nadya and Shuuichi, they’d be done in a flash, and if Shuuichi started feeling bad and had to dip, then he didn’t have to feel bad about leaving work undone. Great!

Stepping back to wordlessly invite Nadya in, Kokichi grinned at his two assistants. “It’s great to meet you, Nadya. This is Shuuichi Saihara--he’s started as my under-the-table research assistant, so I guess you two will be working together now too. Um, Shuu-chan was just heading out to grab some records, so I can catch you up on what we’re doing today while he does that?”

Nadya looked over to the other man in the room, giving him a kind smile and a polite nod as well. “I hope we can work together in a pleasant manner, Mr. Saihara. My apologies for interfering with your flow.”

The man seemed...uncomfortable with her presence. Unfortunate, but hopefully they could work together regardless. She would do her best to learn quickly and not bother him with clarifying questions, then. 

Coming forward, following the prince’s beckoning, Nadya prepared to get started with her new part-time job. Coming back after the war was going to be a difficult transitionary period. Perhaps keeping busy and helping Dicea in another way would make it easier.

Ah. A baseball star who was still, in fact, playing baseball. And working part-time for the government? 

Again…weird. But, well, no weirder than anything else, Shuuichi supposed. Weirder than being a plant person? Or, part plant person? Sigh...he really wasn’t ready to meet new people today…

Still, it wouldn’t do to be rude. She seemed pleasant enough. And, again, Shuuichi was just...helping out. He was now officially in her way. She had like...an actual job to do...Kokichi was just keeping Shuuichi entertained...cause he was a drug addict and stuff…

...bowing his head slightly at her, he said, “Pleasure to meet you, Miss Milai. Congratulations on the job. I’m certain you’ll do exceptional...uh, please excuse me. I do have to get those ledgers.” He gave her another nod before heading out, just kinda feeling more tired as he went...before he winced. A thought occurred to him.

...Maki wasn’t going to like him being out on his own…

...th-that’s fine. She wasn’t in the castle right now. She was out on patrol. She didn’t have  to know. He wasn’t going to be irresponsible just because he was by himself for literally fifteen minutes. He wasn’t a child. He couldn’t even get more doses or anything, they were back in Kokichi’s room. It was fine.

Heading downstairs, where Kokichi had told him the records archive was, Shuuichi thought to himself...he wondered...if the records archive would know where all the beer that had been confiscated from the brewery had been stored away…

…huh…

Encouraging Nadya to sit in one of the spare chairs, Kokichi started...er, briefing his new employee? “So, Shuu-chan is working on compiling a list of all the towns that had their plumbing re-done in the past year so...um...I should just explain what I expect for you in general, huh…”

Calm down. She’s just like anyone else, and you’re her...manager now. Be responsible. Taking a breath, he started again. “Alright. I’m going to explain this from the bones up, just so we’re on the same page. My duties to the kingdom are to respond to the letters sent in that pertain to government business. That includes updates from towns across Dicea, which usually just need to be archived as reports, and questions from individuals, town-leaders, and business inquiries alike. Those letters require research on the specific subject matter so we can give the best advice we can to our citizens.”

“Then, there are upkeep matters, like what Shuu-chan is helping me with right now. Every crop cycle, we compile the market data and analyze the trends from the past few years, usually at least five, sometimes more if there are widely differing jumps, to let Dicean farmers know what they can expect to sell their yield for. In return, our farmers notify us what they’ve planted, and we can look at past numbers for this too, so we can calculate their expected income for the season. So, if the yield is low from a natural disaster or just a particularly unlucky harvest, we can allocate supplementary income to help them prepare for the next crop cycle.”

“Finally, there are social letters--everyone with the clearance to read government letters has to work on these, so you’ll be getting some too. As the name suggests, they are letters from individuals around the country that just want to chat, or may be looking for personal advice. It is our duty to reply in kind, as if they are not strangers, doing our best to be whatever they were looking for. A friend, a listening ear, a second opinion…” Kokichi shrugged a little with a grin. “You get the picture.”

“I do,” Nadya replied. “I was given that knowledge through the job posting, but it is helpful to be told each matter of business in more detail. To best assist you, what duties would you prefer I perform?”

“Umm…” Kokichi thought for a moment, coming back to what he had been thinking when he made the request in the first place. “Honestly? If you could collect letters when you come into work and sort them by type of business, that would be one of the best things for speeding up the process. Then getting the appropriate ledgers with the information we’d need for each matter? Yeah…”

Getting a little excited as he envisioned the workflow, Kokichi perked up a bit. “If we were talking about a standard routine, if you could do that, then, if Shuu-chan is working that day, letting him know what things to research, that would...make things so much easier. If you had the time after that, you could respond to a social letter, or help with archiving reports? And...actually, I’ll start making a list of all the upkeep subjects we’ll need in the near future, so we could get the ledgers for that too. I’ll probably help with research too, since that really is the bulk of the work, and...yeah. When Shuu-chan finishes his analysis, I’ll write the letters, and...I think any of us could take them down to the mailroom when they’re ready, just depending on whichever of us is free at the moment. Does that sound acceptable?”

Amused with the prince’s excitement at clerical work, Nadya nodded. “Incredibly. If you have archival work in today’s workload, may I get started? Since you have already given Mr. Saihara an assignment, and he has gone out to retrieve materials already.”

“Sure! Oh this is going to be so much more efficient…” Kokichi gathered up the updates in his pile before looking around his room, frowning a bit. “...I think I’ll actually have to move into an office, now… I apologize for the informal setting. You’re free to work anywhere you like, but if you wanted to stay here for today, to get a feel for the work, would you be offended if you used a nightstand?” Blushing lightly, he gestured to the only other writing surface in the room. 

Laughing fondly, Nadya shook her head and started moving over a nightstand, creating a sort of pseudo desk area of her own for the day. “This takes me back to my education. This is not a problem, Mr. Ouma. Let us commence with our duties.”

Shuuichi walked into the archive (not that one. Never that one), looking around, again, relieved to see the setup was more or less like the ones he was familiar with back home. Oh, sure, there were decorative differences. Where the help desk was, how to get access to the files themselves, security stuff. But down to its basics, it was roughly how Shuuichi had envisioned. Just...hundreds of thick, black binders on many, many bookcases. Easy to read, well-labeled, and...sigh...out of Shuuichi’s reach. Not without going past what was clearly an ‘employees only’ setup. 

Going up to the desk, Shuuichi looked around, wondering where...anyone was...before knocking at the desk. “Um...anyone here? I need some assistance.”

Slowly peeking out from behind a bookcase, a woman similarly peeked out under a green knitted cap. “...what do you need?”

Shuuichi gave her a calm, passive smile. “Incident reports from mid-fall of last year, 7200’s, specifically all reports submitted from plumbing companies if you know the specific number, and all reports already archived from the brewery criminal case last month. Thank you.”

Yuliya nodded and disappeared behind the bookcase again. There was the sound of shuffling, the sound of something heavy with wheels being moved, and then, in about thirty seconds she appeared again with three thick binders in her arms. Heading over to the help desk, she pulled out a paper folder from a drawer and opened two of the binders, pulling out specific clipped and labeled sections to put into the folder. She did this all silently and efficiently before moving over to what looked like a sign-out sheet, making a few notes before looking up at Shuuichi with intense, tired green eyes. 

“Name, address, and purpose for checking these files out.”

“Caleb Momento, 3120 41st, 21323, assisting Prince Kokichi Ouma with research for Kingdom Outreach Letters,” Shuuichi said.

The glare Yuliya gave the young man was withering. There was a SYSTEM in PLACE for a REASON. People gave their names and addresses so if they didn’t give the files back, they could be tracked down. If anyone else needed the files and couldn’t find copies, so they could know who to ask to see if they could get a look, at least. The reason was to make sure the records weren’t being used for unlawful purposes, which was rare, and to be fair it sounded like the young man had given a legitimate reason, but that was NO REASON TO DISRUPT THE REST OF THE SYSTEM!!!

Growling under her breath, Yuliya grimaced at Shuuichi. “...Mr. Saihara, I archived your citizenship papers. I could write down the correct information myself, but please do not breach protocol for no reason. Miss Harukawa too.”

Shuuichi considered her or a moment...and snickered, looking bashful. “My apologies. One of my duties where I came from was to pressure test systems whenever I could. It’s a habit I haven't gotten out of. Yes, Shuuichi Saihara, Third Floor West Wing Room 7, and yes, still just running an errand for the heir apparent. Thank you for your patience.”

Grumbling under her breath, Yuliya wrote down the correct information on the sign-out sheet and set the binders and folder on the far side of the desk, in front of Shuuichi. “There is no hard return date, though if it’s something Kokichi is working on, I usually expect records back within the week. If you or a representative of you hasn’t returned the records within a month, you will receive a notice to either renew your check out, or to return the files. Don’t make us ask again.”

Without another word she grabbed the rest of the binder she’d taken the brewery case files from and headed back into the maze of the archive, going to return it to its rightful place. 

Shuuichi picked up the stack, looking at the folder with...sigh...there was no way. It wasn’t going to be that easy. There was no way they’d make the location of evidence public knowledge. That was too much even for Dicea. But, still...it was worth trying…

So Shuuichi left with the stack, and headed to the nearest window ledge that he could place it down on, immediately opening up the file and seeing what he could find.

People came and went behind him, but he ignored them, not worried about being caught. If he was caught, he’d rather already have as much of the information as possible in his head. Besides, he wasn’t doing anything illegal. He had checked these out, under his own name, specifically to read them. That was fine. Totally legal. He just...had to make certain that specific people didn’t see him pouring over a folder like this.

He ignored the criminal suspect reports for now, focusing on reports on the brewery itself. Seized by the government, up for auction...fines on the owner for leaving a building empty...the material inside confiscated and mostly destroyed (for fuck’s sake, really?) but samples kept and given away for research to...sigh. Classified. 

...FUCK!

Shuuichi sighed, his hands shaking a little, just...so frustrated...they had destroyed most of it? Really? Just...he grit his teeth. That was so frustrating...and he had no idea where those samples went...fuck…

...well, that wasn’t entirely true. 

He knew someone who did have some samples...a whole jar’s worth. At least an additional month's supply, assuming she hasn’t burned through it all yet...

But...he couldn’t. He couldn’t. It was too risky. A-and...and he didn’t want to break into Seiko’s pharmacy. But also it was too risky. People were watching her facilities twenty-four seven right now, because of those fucking arsonist wanna-bes. It was...god dammit…

Shuuichi realized his eyes were starting to burn with tears, and he lowered his hat, trying to get himself under control again. He had gotten his hopes up. That was the issue. He hadn’t meant to, but...he had…

...he couldn’t do anything…

Taking a steadying breath, quickly pressing his sleeve to his eyes to dry the tears, he begrudgingly read the rest of the report, because why not?

Hiyoko and Ash were going to therapy. Shocker. The report pointed out that Ash, in particular hadn’t actually done anything illegal, just another party-goer screwing the wrong girl at the wrong time, and Hiyoko claimed to have not known anything about the Remnants at all, just lending out her father’s building, which she wasn’t legally responsible for either, to some friends. Shuuichi couldn’t tell from the report if the guards had believed that or not, but she had stuck to the claim and no one had contradicted her, so she was cautioned and sent to general therapy. It looked like they were both also in early testings for spore rehab as well, though Shuuichi had no way of knowing if they were on the same medicines he was.

Then there was...those three...he didn’t even read their reports. He had a feeling it would make him angry. Fucking monsters…

And then...oh...there he was…

Shuuichi looked almost fondly at a sketch rendition of Bear. Or, Monokuma. Apparently still missing and wanted. 

...the picture didn’t do him justice. He had excited, friendly eyes, and a weirdly intense aura...Shuuichi had been ready to find a bridge to jump off of, and he had come and taken his hands and called him nice things and...and…

...brought him to his friends to play with…

Shuuichi closed the file, feeling a shock of self-hatred. H-he was sober now! That shouldn’t still be a nice memory! I-it should horrify him, the way Mi-fuck- the way Nao did. It wasn’t...Itch had choked him and licked him...when Kaito had done the same thing, Shuuichi had immediately felt every fight and flight instinct flair up. Just wanting to escape. He didn’t like it.

And he didn’t. The memory of Itch felt sick and repulsive...but Monokuma…

...he had been nice to him. Had made feeding his addiction and appeasing his sex drive sound easy and fun. Had made Shuuichi feel special and cared about when it felt like his friends had abandoned him and everyone else in the world was determined to hurt him and make him beg for it. Monokuma hadn’t made him beg for it...hadn’t felt the need to justify himself by making certain Shuuichi was almost losing his mind in desperation before sh-HE touched him. (I-It’s not rape if he’s literally h-humping the floor, BEGGING for it!) Had just recognized what Shuuichi wanted and just...set it up to give it to him. 

…

Shuuichi took another shaky breath and closed the file. It didn’t...it didn’t matter. Monokuma was long gone, a-and Shuuichi was happy! He didn’t want to look for him. He...he wanted to stay and get sober. Be with his lovers. Stay under Maki’s protection. Be an uncle to Tim. It was better here, sober. 

...yeah…

Shuuichi sighed, before rolling his eyes at himself, grabbing the stack and going back to the archive. Taking the folder and putting it back on the desk, he called out to wherever she was, “Sorry, I don’t actually need the folder, apparently. I’m returning it now!”

Dragging herself back out to the front, Yuliya looked through the files and noted that they were signed back in. (Untampered)

She wasn’t an idiot. She wasn’t paid to analyze the archives, not like the secretaries and admins were, but she did have to know generally what was in each one. Shuuichi was in that file. Kokichi hadn’t needed it, but Shuuichi wanted to know what was in it, likely in a way that wouldn’t have anyone commenting. 

...she could respect that. 

But she also knew enough that there was nothing in that file that would be able to harm him, so she was allowed to respect that. That doctor in the city was already treating him, and she was under government and personal protection. He didn’t have the clearance to see where the other samples had gone. Contacting the lesser offenders wouldn’t do anything for him, other than group catharsis, and the major offenders...only one was in the city at the moment, and was under surveillance. No way to get to him. And that was probably for the best. 

Shuuichi Saihara’s penalty for having knowledge of terrorists was swept in with his rehabilitation treatment. He technically hadn’t conspired with them at all (as far as anyone knew at the moment, but that would come to greater understanding with each of the offenders’ trials), and the lapse in judgement for not reporting them immediately (because he had reported them, eventually) was easily explained by the fact that he had been heavily drugged at the time. As long as he didn’t try to conspire with anyone while he was going through treatment, or after it? No reason to try him for it.

...fucking lunatics, the lot of them.

“Thanks. Sorry for the inconvenience,” Shuuichi said, watching her check back in the folder, just kinda feeling disappointed and depressed. Why wouldn’t he stop sweating? Urrrghh…

Fuck. Whatever. He had known it was a long shot anyway. What had he been hoping for? That he’d steal a lifetime supply from an evidence case and no one would notice and he could be back on the pollen without Maki being aware of it the very first second it touched his tongue? Where was he going to hide it? Under her bed? Ha! …Ugh. Augh!

Shuuichi gripped the binders to himself, feeling angry. Why couldn’t he have it though!? If everyone had just let him manage his own doses and his own FUCKING COCK, he’d have been FINE!! The need hadn’t become maddening until suddenly he just, what!? Wasn’t fucking allowed to cum anymore!? Why had that become a thing!? So what if he needed to cum all the time!? What business was that of ANYONE’S!??

He had only fucking agreed to Nao’s rules because she had his FUCKING POLLEN. IT HAD BEEN HIS! He had collected it himself, it was his PROPERTY!! It wasn’t illegal! There had been no rules against it!! SO WHAT IF IT MADE HIM HORNY ALL THE TIME?! So was Kaito, no one was fucking taking away his shrine, or putting him under permanent house arrest!! 

S-sure! The body changes! And the s-stress thing and...and all that shit...SURE! WHAT ABOUT IT!? Masochism was a FUCKING THING! A-and he had already made the changes to his body, so what did it matter now!? What, his boobs might get fucking bigger!? He was already a god damned FREAK and-

Shuuichi stopped, trying to take a breath, realizing he was freaking himself out. He looked up the stairs and..yeah his vision was doubling a little...fuck, he needed to sit down for a second…

Sitting on the stairwell, he ignored the people coming up and down, just trying to catch his breath, trying to tamper the fury into something more manageable. Stop it, Saihara...gonna fucking give yourself an aneruysm by this point...just calm down and get upstairs, you gotta find the plumbing stuff...fuck…

It was just happenstance. Takashi was just passing by the entrance hall, like he did dozens of times a day during work. Which he should be getting back to, needing to finish up the notice that the position for an administrative assistant had been filled but…

...he didn’t feel responsible for the kid. But he was struggling. And, what, he was just supposed to leave him there?

Walking over to the stairs, Takashi stopped at the bottom, not approaching Shuuichi any more than that. “Shuuichi? Are you alright?”

Shuuichi took several deep, frustrated breaths...just fucking breathe you asshole! What are you doing!?

Fuck, he knew what he was doing. 

He was having a stupid fucking panic attack.

Fuck.

Get upstairs! It’s only three floors! Fucking get upstairs, breathe in Maki’s room for a minute. Get it back together. Don’t let her find out...fuck, all the reasons she didn’t want him to be alone had fucking happened...he was so stupid…

Shuuichi looked up, blinking through vision that was struggling to focus… “Oh, c-come on…” Shuuichi muttered, letting his forehead fall onto the binders. Breathe…no, not that much! Not that fast! Breathe normally! “...I...I-I’m f-fine...just-catching-my b-breath…l-lottsa stairs…” he said, literally sitting on the bottom step.

Takashi narrowed his eyes before looking around. Okay...there were people looking their way, so if something happened, Shuuichi would be alright. Speaking quietly to the younger man, Takashi asked, “Is there someone I can get for you? Or help you to somewhere? Even if it’s just an empty room nearby, if you want to be alone, I’ll help.”

He couldn’t let Shuuichi be alone-alone, not when it looked like he was going to hyperventilate, but he could lessen the amount of eyes around. Anything that would help him calm down or vent or...whatever he needed. Takashi wasn’t an expert on rehabilitation or trauma. But, he did have a hand to lend.

Upstairs? Could he get him upstairs? He needed to get fucking upstairs…

...Kokichi was gonna be so disappointed in him…

“Nnn...sor...fuck..please?” Shuuichi asked, realizing he was entirely losing control of his breathing, looking up desperately at Takashi. He knew he’d calm down eventually. He had done this enough times. But this was gonna be a bad one. He might faint going up the stairs. Or worse. Fucking cry.

...he had no idea what that meant. Okay, Takashi! Use that glorious big brain and figure out what the man having a panic attack in front of you is saying!

‘Nnn’ could be the start of no. No, there was no one he wanted Takashi to bring, or no, he didn’t want help anywhere. Or, it could be just a groan. ‘Sor’ was obviously the start of ‘sorry’, which was no help here. ‘Fuck’ seemed to be just an outburt, their last interaction, er, not relevant. And ‘please’...the direct opposite of the potential ‘no’, so…

Don’t leave him alone. And...Prince Kokichi would likely be in his room. He’d bring him up. 

Nodding, Takashi put a hand on Shuuichi’s shoulder to let him know that he was going to touch him before coming up and slinging one of Shuuichi’s arms over his shoulder, holding him at his waist before coaxing him up the stairs. “There we go, going up to Prince Kokichi’s room. If you don’t want to be there, we can go to your room or...somewhere else, okay? But let’s get on our way!”

Shuuichi was pretty chubby, but Takashi bet he could still carry him, at least for a little bit. But the younger man would probably appreciate it if Takashi at least got him to a slightly less populated part of the castle first. 

Hold onto the binders…don’t let go...literally your only job right now is holding onto these fucking binders...stupid, worthless, whore indentured...couldn’t do one god damned task without trying to get your fucking pollen again, huh? Couldn’t do one fucking thing...Kokichi gave you one fucking task.

Kaito...he needed Kaito...Kaito wouldn’t be mad. He’d just help him. He’d hold him. He’d tell him it was alright...where was Kaito!?

Shuuichi walked up the stairs with Takashi, putting a lot of his weight on him, his vision spotting. He blinked several times, trying to clear them, before warning Takashi, “...’onna f-faint…”

Takashi’s eyes widened before he jumped into action, part of him amused that he and Shuuichi kept ending up like this. Bracing Shuuichi’s back with his flesh arm, Takashi quickly scooped Shuuichi up under his thighs with his metal arm, taking the bulk of his weight. And, with a couple heavy grunts to steady his grip, Takashi continued upward. 

“O...okay, don’t fight it, ‘ll get’chya help…” That was one bit of job experience the majority of people in the castle had--helping someone who was fainting. He made sure Shuuichi’s head was braced against his shoulder, running through what needed to happen in his mind. Lie Shuuichi down on his side, bend one arm and one leg, get a cool cloth on his head...kid was sweating like it was the middle of summer too...time how long he was out, get a healer if it was more than ten minutes. Maybe get one regardless, but he’d ask first...shit...guy was heavy…

Making his way to the third floor, Takashi kicked at Kokichi’s door. “Shuuichi fainted, let me in!”

It wasn’t more than a second before Kokichi opened the door, pale with wide worried eyes, getting out of the way so Takashi could lay his boyfriend on the bed, maneuvering him into the recovery position. He dashed into the bathroom to wet a cloth and get a glass of water while Nadya looked over the man in worry, asking Takashi what had happened and...she could calm his mind, but that sort of magic was rather invasive. Not the sort of thing you did to a relative friendly stranger. 

Shuuichi was sorta passed out, and sorta wasn’t. He was still awake, but his vision was too unfocused to be useful, and noise all sorta sounded muted and far away, distorted. He was just trying to focus on his breathing. He’d be fine. He’d be fine. Maki? Could someone get Maki? He didn’t care if she was angry anymore. H-he needed Maki…

But the new position helped, though he made a small distressed sound when someone pulled the binders out of his hands. He had to get those to Kokichi! He had been given only one task! He...please...he was so worthless…

Shuuichi swallowed hard, over and over, a small whine as he tried to force himself to breathe...but his body started to reset on its own. His vision clearing up and the wind sound in his ears clearing up, his breathing slowing, at first too much...feeling like he was struggling to actually fill his chest...but then finally his breaths started coming in slow and paced, each one feeling like it was actually doing something...where was he?

He binked, his vision clearing up entirely, and he saw Kokichi, looking...bad…

Shuuichi swallowed. “...s-sorry…”

He was breathing...he didn’t stop breathing...okay…

“Oh, Shuu-chan…” Kokichi murmured, gently stroking through Shuuichi’s hair, moving his bangs out of his face and unsticking it from the cool, damp cloth on his forehead. “It’s okay, you’re alright… You’re...in my room, okay? Just rest here. ‘Kashi-chan is getting Kai-chan, I asked Nadya to ask someone to notify Seiko. You’re okay…”

For as scary as it was seeing Shuuichi like this--he...he’d been fine before, right? What signs had Kokichi missed?--Kokichi knew from experience how...terrifying it was to be the person going through it. How just...ashamed you could feel. So he gently held Shuuichi’s hand and petted his hair, trying to reassure his boyfriend. 

“It’ll be okay, Shuu-chan...just relax. I have some water ready for you if you want it, when you can sit up. I’m here for you.”

Kaito and Seiko were coming...Maki was going to know...she was going to be mad…

“...can we not tell Maki?” Shuuichi said, blinking slowly. Tired. “...she’s gonna make me go on patrols with her…that sounds really boring...”

Kokichi frowned, but… “Okay. We won’t tell Maki.”

He continued stroking Shuuichi’s hair, rubbing the palm of his hand with his thumb, still pale and worried, but...less worried than even moments before. Shuuichi was breathing. Alive. Here. 

He’d ask again later, though. When Shuuichi was doing better. He didn’t want to keep this a secret from Maki, but...he wasn’t going to stand for her babysitting him every moment of the day. For one, she needed a break from him too, but also… Kokichi hadn’t sent Shuuichi to get the records without a thought. There would be plenty of people around the castle, and Kokichi knew personally how long the trip should take. Even accounting for Shuuichi’s unfamiliarity, he’d been just about to go looking for Shuuichi himself. 

...he really thought Shuuichi would be alright. That having the freedom to run a small errand in public would be fine. It still might be but...not today. 

Sighing softly, Kokichi leaned down and placed a kiss against Shuuichi’s knuckles. “I’m sorry...I love you.”

Stupid...so fucking stupid...he was so god damn stupid…

Kaito opened the bedroom door, breathing heavily, having run up the stairs. He and the kids had been just finishing stretching when a housekeeper had come to fetch him, and Kaito had bolted the second he heard Shuuichi had fainted.

But...the second he came in, he realized what was up. He had seen this before. This was a panic attack. A bad one, no doubt, but well...they happened. Still, fuck...taking a breath, he closed the door behind him, before heading to their sides, giving Kokichi a quick kiss on the top of his head before sitting on the bed, lifting up Shuuichi’s head and putting it back down on his lap.

“Hey, buddy...hey, you with us? Out of the fog?”

Shuuichi blinked, looking up, his vision spinning slightly as he tried to focus on Kaito. “...yeah...just about...sorry...”

“No worries. You’re good, man...you need to do a debrief?”

Shuuichi closed his eyes and groaned.

Kaito chuckled. “Come on, man, do you? Be honest with me...you wanna wait till Seiko gets here? Not do it twice?”

“...yeah, fine…”

Kaito nodded, running the washcloth over his forehead a little. “Okay. We’ll wait. Everything good on your end, Kokichi? Have you seen one of Shuuichi’s panic attacks yet?”

Kokichi felt a little better once Kaito arrived, glad that one of them knew what was going on. Or...how to handle it, at least. 

Still holding onto Shuuichi’s hand, Kokichi continued his little massage, more reassuring himself than Shuuichi, honestly. “I...don’t think so… Not to this extent, anyway. Scared the crap out of me before ‘Kashi-chan explained what happened…” He let out a little sigh. “I’m sorry, Shuu-chan.”

Shuuichi closed his eyes, leaning into Kaito’s legs. “‘S fine. ‘M fine,” he said, feeling strongly reassured now that Kaito was here. It was okay. He was safe. It was okay.

“He gets these...used to get them a lot back when we were in high school, though they’re less common now…” Kaito explained to Kokichi, running his fingers through Shuuichi’s hair, his hat resting next to Kaito’s hip. “He gets real stressed? Or…” Kaito gave Shuuichi a fond, if tired smile, “More often...he feels real guilty about something? ...then suddenly he gets all loud and shouty in his head, and he excites himself until he loses control of his breathing, and then that causes fainting spells...but that’s usually okay. Once he faints, his brain calms down, and his body goes back to normal. Wakes up calm…”

Shuuichi opened his eyes, looking clearer now, giving Kaito an annoyed look. “...don’t ask me why.”

“I’m going to ask you why,” Kaito said, giving Shuuichi a smug smile, before saying, “I won’t tell you to tell me why. But fuck yeah I’m gonna ask, dude. Why’d we have a panic attack?”

“...” Shuuichi sighed, gently pulling his hand away from Kokichi, putting his arms over his face. “Don’t tell Maki.”

“You’ll tell Maki. But first let's tell me and Kokichi. What happened, handsome? Before Seiko gets here.”

“...Don’t get mad.”

“I won’t. Kokichi though? I mean, you know how he is.Total rage monster. I’ll do my best to hold him back.” Kaito snorted, giving Kokichi a wink. “Take the blows for you.”

Shuuichi blinked...before sighing. “I asked the archive for the records on the brewery case. I was trying to find out where my…where the pollen is. I didn’t find anything. I freaked out. I’m sorry.”

Stress-induced panic attacks...well, that was unfortunately relatable. But it was good to know. Shuuichi getting too stressed or...stuck in his head? Take him somewhere safe, let him ride it out. Be prepared. 

Something they...should probably be prepared for for a while. There was not a lot more stressful than going through rehab. For multiple reasons. 

Kokichi frowned a bit, not angry, but...disappointed. Shuuichi had been doing so well, even safeguarding himself against looking for his doses the other day, but...well, this was to be expected. But he was safe and had no access to spores so...it was alright. 

Keeping his hands to himself, not wanting to crowd Shuuichi if he didn’t want the touch, he sighed softly but gave Shuuichi a gentle smile. “Thanks for telling us, and I really am sorry for how horrible this all is. I wish there was some way to make it more tolerable but...if there was, then addiction wouldn’t be such a big deal, huh.”

He wanted to ask Shuuichi to not be afraid of telling them when he was struggling. They were there and committed to helping him, and it was a lot easier to do that when they could tell when he needed help the most. But...he was still recovering, and Kokichi didn’t want to start something. Not until later, when Shuuichi was safe and comfortable and...able to process things a little better. 

Kaito took a breath, but, like Kokichi, wasn’t exactly shocked. This was what they had been preparing for, right? The constant surveillance, making sure they all knew who had him at what time...it was all preparing for this. So...yeah. 

Kaito grinned at him, tapping at his chin as Shuuichi grumbled, looking up in annoyance at him as Kaito said down to him, “How we feeling? You wanna be sitting up by the time Seiko gets here?”

Shuuichi bit the inside of his lip, gave Kaito another annoyed look...before sighing. “Yeah. Help me up.”

“That’s my guy! Up we go!” Kaito encouraged, taking Shuuichi’s shoulders and helping him up. Shuuichi felt dizzy for a second...but he did feel better sitting up, his head clearing up as Kaito ruffled his hair, saying, “How’s your chest? You good?”

“Yeah. I’m good. I almost feel bad Dr. Kimura’s coming. I don’t really need her. I’m good now…” Shuuichi frowned, noticing a hole in his memory. “...someone carried me up? From the stairs?”

“It’d probably be good to let her know anyway…” Kokichi murmured softly, at least figuring that it was good to know he likely didn’t need to call a healer the next time Shuuichi had a panic attack. People usually didn’t, but there was always that chance that something would go wrong and he hadn’t wanted to risk it with Shuuichi. ...probably shouldn’t have risked that errand either…

Nodding, Kokichi shuffled a little farther up the side of the bed but still didn’t reach out to Shuuichi, just feeling...like he’d failed him. Like he wasn’t needed here. 

(Like an accessory to Kaito’s love.)

“Yeah, ‘Kashi-chan said that he saw you lookin’ like you were having a rough time and, realizing you were having a panic attack, helped you up here as much as you could do, and then carried you the rest of the way when you fainted. Then I asked him to go get Kai-chan.” Smiling wanely, Kokichi almost tried to reach out for a moment before he brought his hands back to his chest, clasping them nervously. “I can go explain things to him after Seiko gets here. He was really worried about you.”

“Ugh, no...him again? God, I keep embarrassing myself around this guy...he was the guy that caught me when I fell out of the window.”

Kaito frowned, brow furrowed. “...did I know about this?”

“...maybe? I remember Maki shouting at me about it. I’m assuming you were there.”

“It’s really hard keeping track of everything going on with you guys.” Kaito sighed. “But! This guy saved you from a fall, and then carried you up the stairs through a panic attack! That’s awesome! Remind me to go give him a hug.”

“He’s one of Byakuya’s informants.”

“Right...gold? Lots of gold? Should I give him gold?”

“You don’t have lots of gold.” Shuichi sighed, giving Kaito a fond smile. Then he glanced over at Kokichi, frowning slightly. Looking at his expression, the body language, the way he was leaning back from him. A look of shame ran over his face. “...are you mad at me? I’m really sorry, Kokichi...I just...once the idea was in my head…”

...he’d talk to Takashi about that too. He doubted that news of Shuuichi’s addiction wouldn’t make its way to Byakuya, but maybe some of the details could stay in Dicea. It was Takashi’s and Tomomi’s businesses what they did with the general knowledge they knew, since Luminary wasn’t an enemy, but...he just didn’t want Byakuya to keep blaming Kaito for things that weren’t his fault. Or to just be a dick about the whole thing. 

Kokichi’s gaze had been drifting down as he thought, but it snapped back up as Shuuichi spoke to him. And what he said was enough to make his expression soften in care. “No, no, I’m not mad at you. This kind of thing is expected, even if it sucks and doesn’t feel that way to you. I just...didn’t wanna touch you if you didn’t wanna be touched…”

By him. 

Sighing, Kokichi rubbed the back of his neck a bit. “...I’m sorry for not giving you the care you need. I got over-excited when you said you wanted to help and...Shuu-chan’s recovering. I need to account for that more.”

Shuuichi frowned, fear shocking through him. No...come on… “I...I can still help though, right? I’ll just stay in the room and do research. Right? I mean...Nadya can go collect ledgers, but, I mean, it doesn’t even matter if I go now anyway, because I already read the file…”

Kaito frowned, looking at the concern on Shuuichi’s face. It wasn’t exactly easy, what they were doing...Shuuichi’s movements were extremely limited because of it…that was something they had to keep up, but it was clearly wearing on him...

...someone had caught him falling out of a window…

“...maybe we should…” Kaito frowned. He didn’t like this idea. He didn’t even kind of like it. But...it might make Shuuichi happier… “What if we...asked the castle staff for help?”

Shuuichi glanced over at Kaito, something growing heavy and wary in his expression. “...with what?”

“Well...they’re all kinda used to being obsessive, over-controlling wardens...they have twenty years of practice, right?” Kaito said, giving a small, apologetic grin to Kokichi. “What if we asked the king to tell the staff to turn that nightmare focus on Shuuichi? Same rules. Not allowed out of the castle without an escort, not allowed to do anything unusual, anyone sees anything weird they bring him to one of us? I mean...I hate the idea of using their treatment of Kokichi as a strategy on you, Shuuichi, but...you’d technically have greater range of movement if we pulled it off. The whole castle, rather than just, ya know...wherever me, Maki, or Kokichi are…”

Kaito glanced at his husband. “What do you think, Kokichi? Is it possible?”

“No,” Shuuichi said simply. Face blank. No room for argument. “Absolutely not.”

Kokichi blinked at Shuuichi before quickly waving his hands in front of him. “N-no, that’s not what I meant! I’d love for Shuu-chan to help me as much as he wants! I just-”

Kokichi’s jaw clicked closed as Kaito spoke up, feeling like he had...so much of a better grasp on things. Was someone that made Shuuichi feel better. But what he suggested…

Curling into himself a little in shame and embarrassment, Kokichi kept his gaze to the floor. “...I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, Kai-chan. I don’t want that for Shuu-chan. It gets in your head...turns everyone into an enemy, even if you don’t want to fight…” He swallowed, feeling those emotions well up in him. “...Shuu-chan needs friends, not jailers.”

Taking a breath, his chest feeling tight, Kokichi tried to...fucking get over himself. Shuuichi needed better than that. He looked up at Shuuichi, face pale and lips pressed together. “...I’m used to staying in one place for a long time, but if you want to move around? Go anywhere? ...please let me know. I wish you could just go on your own, but until then...I can take a break whenever, you know? I’ll go with Shuu-chan.”

Shuuichi’s hard expression softened at this, glad he didn’t need to have any kind of real argument against it, especially as Kaito nodded along. To Kokichi’s offer, he smiled, though there was something sad in it. “I don’t need to move around that much. I’m mostly just whining about that stuff cause I don’t feel good and I wanna whine about something. No, I just mean...I mean, I really can go down and back to the records archive. I..I made a mistake, but it’s not like I left the castle. I just gave into the temptation of maybe knowing where more pollen was. And I still don’t know where it is, so...it’s fine, right? You don’t...you don’t have to stop everything you're doing just to walk me down the stairs…”

“Maki’s going to say he does,” Kaito pointed out.

Shuuichi shot him a glare, “That’s why we’re not telling he-”

“And I would agree with her. Which is why...I’m not going to wait for her to come back, so she can be the bad guy and say it,” Kaito said, crossing his arms, not looking at both of them as he said, brow furrowed, “...if we’re not going with the staff idea? Which, fine, I didn’t want to do that anyway, I just didn’t want to ignore the idea in case Shuuichi wanted the extra movement...then no. Shuuichi, you can’t just pop down to the archive and back on your own. Look at you, man. You’re sweating, you just had a massive panic attack, and what would you have done had you read that file and in big bold letters it said ‘Despair Pollen’s In The Medbay’? Would you have been satisfied knowing, and come right back up?”

“...that’s not a fair question.”

“You’re not ready to be by yourself yet. You're not ready to be responsible for your own actions,” Kaito said, looking...uncomfortable saying it. “You will be! Soon! Seiko said withdrawal could lose the worst of its effects in as little as two weeks!” Admittedly, that had been her...best case scenario, but... “It’ll be so much easier for you to control yourself when you don’t feel like shit all the time, Shuuichi. I know it sucks. But...just for a few weeks? Let us take care of you. Let us take you places and keep an eye on you. You…”

Kaiot glanced at Kokichi, “...he’ll be better off that way. Just for awhile.”

“I really don’t mind going with you…” Kokichi muttered, though he knew that wasn’t the real issue. It...wasn’t fair. At all. Having to keep an eye on Shuuichi like he was going to make a break for it at every moment. Because, while he was feeling okay? Being under that kind of surveillance would be maddening. Frustrating. Making you feel like no one trusted you, like they thought you weren’t capable of anything. And, in your worse moments, believing that. 

But it was needed for the moments where he would make a break for it. ...it had been needed for the moments where Kokichi collapsed. 

Kokichi’s shoulders fell, looking about as depressed with that truth as he felt. “...I’m sorry, Shuu-chan. You deserve better than this but...sometimes unfair things just happen.”

Kaito looked relieved, glad Kokichi had taken his side, and Shuuichi looked down at his lap, feeling...where was his hat...oh, there. 

Reaching over Kaito, Shuuichi picked up his hat, putting it on and sighing. “...well, I don’t exactly have a leg to stand on, do I...thanks for trusting me, Kokichi. I’m sorry I messed it up. But I really do appreciate that you let me go...next time I won’t...ya know.”

“How about this! We’ll take the guesswork out of this! When Seiko gets here, we’ll ask her to gauge your symptoms over the next week or so and let us know when, in her medical opinion, we can all chill out and let you be again, Shuuichi?” Kaito offered, giving both his husband and Shuuichi nervous grins, knowing he had depressed the shit out of both of them with this, and feeling kind of like an asshole. “When she thinks you’re good? You’re good! Okay? And just until then, we all Aiichi the shit out of this and and super overcompensate. If it feels too overprotective and controlling and harassing...go with that instinct! Embrace it! Just for now!”

Shuuichi furrowed his brow a moment, before raising an eyebrow at Kaito. “Kaito, that’s...could we stop comparing all this with Kokichi’s stuff. I...I don’t think he’s loving being used as an example…you’re kind of being a dick.”

Kaito glanced at Shuuichi, startled before looking guiltily over at Kokichi. “Uh...sorry, ‘Kichi. I...sorry, that was cruel of me. I wasn’t thinking. My bad.”

Getting a doctor’s opinion was probably the best way to go about this. And then...he could just hope Shuuichi was comfortable enough to let someone know if he was struggling. He knew it wasn’t as easy as that, but...he wasn’t a mindreader. He just had to trust in the trust between them. 

However, as Kaito kept on...the shame and guilt and embarrassment welled up again, just...wanting to hide even when Shuuichi pointed it out. Because his and Shuuichi’s situations were kind of comparable, but...it was just rude to point it out. But not wrong. 

Shrugging a little, Kokichi looked off to the side. “...I talked with Aiichi the other day. It’s easy to resent someone when you can only see the product of their actions but...he was just scared for me. ...we talked it out. It’s okay.”

Chewing his lip a little, Kokichi shrugged again, still not looking at his friends. “...we don’t need to harass Shuu-chan either. It’s just...a protective hang out. It’ll be annoying from your end, Shuu-chan, but...it’s just what we have to do for a few weeks, I guess…”

Shuuichi nodded. “Again, it’s not like I want to go anywhere. I just had a lapse and...I don’t know. I don’t actually resent all of this that much, I just...some moments are harder than others. That’s all. And I like spending time with you, Kokichi. A protective hangout is nice,” Shuuichi said, giving his boyfriend a warm smile.

Kaito grinned wide, leaning forward and pointing at himself. “What about me? Do you like protective hanging out with me?”

Shuuichi looked at him blankly. “You? When I could hang out with Kokichi instead? Hell no. Obviously not.” Shuuichi looked over to Kokichi and held out his arms, beckoning to him, “Kokichi, protect me from this strange man. He’s harassing me.”

Slowly, Kokichi looked back at his boyfriend and husband, a small smile coming to his face before he laughed softly, climbing onto the bed, spreading his arms out in front of Shuuichi. “Don’t worry Shuu-chan, I make for a great decoy. With me in the way, Kai-chan has no choice but to cuddle me first, ensuring your protection.”

Looking back at Kaito, he gave his husband a gently teasing, loving smile. Kaito hadn’t said anything untrue, and he knew how much Kaito took issue with the staff for his stifled childhood. Kokichi’s hurt from that wasn’t Kaito’s fault, and he wanted him to know that. 

He bounced his eyebrows and scooted forward on the bed on his knees in Kaito’s direction. “Ooooor maybe I should go on the offensive?”

“Nooo! Shuuichi, help! He’s coming for my heat! Come here you little icicle.” Kaito grinned, reaching over and snatching Kokichi up, pulling him into his lap and kissing him obnoxiously on his cheek, wrapping his arms around him. “Admit it. You love me for my baseline 99 degree temperature. I’m just a fireplace to you,” Kaito accused, grinning wolfishly down at his husband before kissing him again.

Giggling, Kokichi went happily into Kaito’s lap, nuzzling against his chest a little before returning a cheek kiss. “It’s too true. Kai-chan is not only the light in my life, but my heat too--a true star in everything he does.”

Despite panic attacks and addiction and informants and illness and anger issues...this was good. They were good. Fitting together in a way that felt right. 

Giving Kaito a squeeze, Kokichi gave a faux-apologetic look over his shoulder. “Ah, sorry Shuu-chan. I may have distracted our star, but I’ve gotten myself trapped. If Kai-chan comes your way? I’m afraid you may just get sucked in too.”

But while there were nice things like cuddles, life continued. There was a knock on the door, Seiko trying to catch her breath while Nadya stood behind her, unsure if she would be allowed back in the room, but worried for her unofficial co-worker...even if they’d only met that day.

Kaito sighed, kissing Kokichi on the face a few more times, before saying, “Alright, she came all this way. Let me go get that.”

Depositing Kokichi next to Shuuichi, who was looking nervous again, the brim of his cap lowering somewhat over his eyes as he glanced at the door, Kaito gave him a reassuring grin. “It’s fine. She just wants to check up on you. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

“I’m fine,” Shuuichi muttered, but Kaito just laughed and shook his head at him, before going to open the door.

“Hey! Oh, man, Seiko! My very favorite medical sidekick! And...well, you’re new,” Kaito said, giving a small wave to the other woman, who looked fit as fuck and had a cute, pleasant face. “Um,” Kaito glanced behind himself, deciding that Shuuichi wasn’t exactly in a compromised position, and said, indicating to both of them, “Come on in! Seiko, I’m just gonna say now, thank you for hurrying, but it actually wasn’t a medical emergency. I’m really sorry if we took you away from anything. Just a bit of a scare.”

“Hi, Dr. Kimura,” Shuichi said dryly.

“Hello, Kaito; Shuuichi,” the doctor replied. “I’m glad to hear that you’re alright… Since I’m here, though, would you mind if we went over your symptoms? A-again, I’m sorry you have to be the guinea pig for all this… If I could give you something that would ease your symptoms already I would.”

As she went over to the bedside, Nadya stepped in the room but remained near the entrance, giving Kaito a polite nod. “Correct. I was hired today for the position of Mr. Ouma’s administrative assistant. My name is Nadya Milai--I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Kokichi came up to his husband and assistant, giving Nadya a sheepish grin. “Hey, Nadya. Thank you for your help with all this--didn’t really expect for your first day to be so exciting.”

“It is no problem, Mr. Ouma.” Nadya cast a worried look over to Shuuichi before looking back to Kokichi and Kaito. “It looks as if things are alright, but is Mr. Saihara well? It is not any of my business to know his medical history, but I ask to know if I should take my work to another location as to let him rest.”

Kaito looked surprised, eyes widening in realization at who, technically, this girl was. “Oh! The ...the assistant position! That’s filled already? Wow! Uh…” Kaito gave a worried glance over at Shuuichi, but...it was fine. He’d talk to him about it later. He had known him getting it together enough to do the application process was a long shot, but...well, it’d be okay. 

Saying to her, wide grin on his face, “Congratulations, Miss! Your Prince Kokichi’s second-ever employee! That’s huge! I’m Prince Kaito, um...I live in your workspace, so I guess we’ll see each other plenty! Looking forward to getting to know you!” Kaito said, giving her a small bow, just from his shoulders. “And, Shuuichi? He’s fine. He, uh, actually, I’ll let Kokichi explain. Give me one second, I’ll be right back.”

Over at the bedside, Shuuichi sighed at her questions. “I mean...it hasn’t been too bad, I just...I get panic attacks sometimes. It probably has nothing to do with the…” Shuuichi sighed, seeing Kaito approach, shifting uncomfortably in the bed a little.

“You ready?” Kaito asked, sitting next to his boyfriend, giving him what he hoped was a soothing smile as Shuuichi glanced warily at Seiko. “...come on, man, you know you should. This way we won’t miss anything.”

Shuuichi didn’t mind the debrief, he just...it was embarrassing doing it in front of other people...well, whatever. He nodded at Kaito, and Kaito put his hands around Shuuichi’s ear, whispering.

Shuuichi’s vision tunneled. 

“I had another fit of nausea this morning, despite the medicine, though it wasn’t as bad as the previous iteration. I only seemed to vomit stomach acid, and it was only once. I still feel aches in my lower back, though the aches in my ankles and wrists have subsided with the latest iteration. I have started sweating profusely, and based on the patterns I woke up with in Maki’s bed, it started sometime roughly three am last night, and has persisted steadily ever since. The headaches have ceased, but the moodswings have not, and have maybe gotten worse. I’m bloated all the time, and my nipples are still sensitive to touch. I had a panic attack roughly forty minutes ago, that was partly triggered through the stress of craving a stronger dose of pollen and attempting to seek it out. Kaito wished me to point out an increase in my craving for sweet foods as well.”

Suhuichi sighed, closing his eyes tightly, momentarily dizzy from losing control of his vision. “...yeah, that’s...that’s everything…”

Kaito grinned, looking at Seiko. “We call them debriefs. It’s the best way to get physical symptoms from him. We stopped doing it awhile back, but me, him, and Maki had a conversation the other day and decided maybe just for now to start using them again. We’d all prefer if it was just me or Maki who triggered them though. It’s just a trust thing, you understand?”

Nadya gave the prince a thankful smile before turning back to her boss as he left to talk with Shuuichi and Dr. Kimura. It wasn’t all that unorthodox to work in your living space, but she still wanted to defer to them in it. She was a stranger. Maybe even an intruder by some feelings, especially with what was happening right now. 

Kokichi sighed softly, casting a glance over at his friends before smiling gently up at Nadya. “We’ve been having some health scares lately. Shuu-chan is on some new medicine to help him out, but, well, they’re still figuring things out. That’s why he’s only working unofficially right now--it gives him the freedom to tap out whenever he needs to.”

The older woman’s eyes lit up in understanding. “Ah, I understand. It is not substitute for medicine, but would Mr. Saihara appreciate a recovery gift?”

As Nadya and Kokichi talked about what Shuuichi would like as a gift, Seiko’s eyes widened a bit as she recognized the info dump Shuuichi gave her. That...Kaito deliberately triggered. 

Though, she had to admit, it was very helpful information. Quickly, Seiko jotted down the ‘debrief’ in a small notebook. And...well, those symptoms could be attributed to other things. After telling him straight out that he could get pregnant she would hope Shuuichi would tell her if he was having sex...and she would hope that Kaito would let her know if his sexual release sessions with Shuuichi had been penetrative. The birth control that she’d worked into the medicine should be fairly effective, but no birth control was 100%. 

...and...if the spores had altered Shuuichi’s body into being able to conceive and carry children, who was to say that an absence and a counter-agent wouldn’t...mimic pregnancy? ...she had no clue…

Sighing softly, Seiko nodded at Kaito. “Of course… I would prefer to just have Shuuichi tell me his symptoms, but if he thinks it’s best, I will defer to you all on that.” Looking at the list, she sighed again. “...I’ll keep working on stabilizing your mood, and I’ll take into account the excessive sweating. In the meantime, please drink more water than you think you need. A-and...that may be helpful, since, if you’re alright with it, I would like to give you a urine test. You can come to my pharmacy this evening with Maki, or send the sample with her.”

Reaching into her bag, Seiko passed off a sturdy cup with a screw-on lid, kept in a sealed bag. “...the last we spoke, you had not started any sort of regular physical activity. While I believe that it would help you adjust to your proportions and to help manage your weight, it may help with your bloating and back pain as well. And I’ve mentioned incorporating more fruits into your diet instead of sweets to satisfy your cravings, but...how is the rest of your diet? There may be changes you can make to offset your nausea and bloating as well.”

Kaito gave Seiko a mildly surprised look, before looking sternly at Shuuichi. “...she’s been telling you to exercise? This whole time?”

“...it’s come up once or twice.”

“Shuuichi, we do training literally every morning.”

“...hate training…”

Kaito turned to Seiko, looking exasperated. “He’ll be exercising from now on. Relax, Shuuichi, with Maki on patrols, I’m in charge of training now. I literally just want you to, like, walk around the field and stuff. Just move around. It’ll be fine. And fruits? We can totally do fruits! He’ll have access to all the fruits he can want! I’m on it!”

“Kaito.”

“You can ‘Kaito’ me all you want. Fruits and exercise, man. It’s happening.”

“...I don’t know what to say about the rest of my diet. I’m never really hungry? But I eat! I just eat whatever Maki and Kaito get sent up from the kitchens. We rarely go to the dining hall, so...yeah. Just whatever the kitchen sends up, which are usually, like, balanced meals, I guess. I don’t drink as much water as I should,” Shuuichi admitted, shrugging. “And, I don’t think I eat a lot of candy, but I have some, yeah...why do you want a urine sample?”

“After all these years, Shuuichi...they’re finally coming after you for all that pot you snorted...”

“You don’t ‘snort’ pot, Kaito. And I smoked it once, in high school...I’m not on anything else,” Shuuichi said, realizing that might actually be the reason she wants to test, despite Kaito just teasing him. “I’m really not. I wouldn’t even know where to get drugs...but yeah, I’ll do the piss test to prove it. I don’t mind.”

Seiko wasn’t surprised that Shuuichi hadn’t mentioned her recommendations of exercise to anyone. At first, they really were just suggestions. He seemed to have trouble walking, and moving around more would be the best way to get used to his body. But now...it would likely help a lot of his symptoms. She didn’t want to put him on heavier medicines than necessary, and if he’d feel better from a lifestyle change? It was worth giving it a try. 

The other stuff about his diet was...confusing. He had reported a lack of appetite before, but now having cravings for sugar...hmmm… If he was having balanced meals though, then...it probably wasn’t an intolerance causing his nausea…

...the urine test would answer that with more certainty…

Giving the two young men a small smile, Seiko shook her head. “I appreciate your willingness, but I’m not testing you for other drugs. I’m mostly performing the same tests I’ve done on your blood, but this is a less invasive sample. And it will tell me more about your digestive track, so I can hopefully pinpoint what actually is giving you trouble. That said, if you happen to notice any particular type of food that gives you intestinal distress or makes your nausea worse, or anything like that, try avoiding it for a few days and see how you feel. From what I can tell, it’s unlikely that you have a food intolerance, but it’s worth checking.”

Straightening, Seiko gave her patient a kind look. “Drink water, exercise, eat more fruit. I’ll see you soon, Shuuichi, and please take it easy today. The stress of a panic attack can be on par with running a marathon, so don’t push yourself.”

As Kaito gave Seiko a warm wave goodbye, he whispered to Shuuichi, “So, I guess I shouldn’t try to see if I can fit you inside me again tonight?”

“What do you mean, try? You measured it against yourself and immediately gave up. Just admit it’s not happening, Kaito.”

“I had no creams!” he whispered in Shuuichi’s ear, sounding mocked outrage, as Shuuichi just gave him a somewhat exasperated smile. “No toys! I was rigged to fail from the start!”

“Kaito, there are plenty of ways for us all to feel good together that won’t require you to split your insides open. Why do you want this so bad?”

Kaito shrugged, saying honestly, “I don’t know. It just sounds really...fun.”

“It’ll hurt. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’d be fine,” Kaito said dismissively, before glancing over at Kokichi and the new girl, who were chatting with Seiko. “So...someone got the job already, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you bummed?”

“...no…”

“It’s okay if you are. You’re allowed to be bummed.”

“I wasn’t going to apply. And I clearly can’t handle it right now. It’s fine. She seems nice.”

“She does. I like her hair. Wonder what’s up with the goggles though.”

“I think it has something to do with baseball. Kokichi’s a fan.”

“Of what? Baseball?”

“Of her, I think.”

“Oh...huh…”

Eventually Seiko left, mind whirring with new adjustments to the medicine and curious for the information to come. Gathering some materials, Nadya waited for a moment while Kokichi went over to his boys. 

“Nadya offered to work in a spare room so she wasn’t crowding you guys. I really do need to get this work done, but…” Kokichi looked between Kaito and Shuuichi. “Would you be bothered if I worked in here? I’m going to see if I can get an actual office so I’m not flooding our room with work and people, but for now…”

He...didn’t really want to ask if Kaito had any other plans for the day. If Kokichi needed to stick around to watch Shuuichi. That just felt too...babysitter-y. He wanted to give them the option to consider it a matter of managing Kokichi’s movements, rather than Shuuichi’s. He was used to it, at least.

Kaito gave Shuuichi a predatory grin. “We could go pray some more…”

But Shuuichi frowned, looking at Kokichi. “Can I help with the research still? We have the ledgers I need. I promise it’s not going to wear me out.”

Kaito pouted. What...come on…

Kokichi gave Kaito a bit of a confused glance, but, after a moment, gave Shuuichi a kind smile. “If you say you’re good, I’ll believe it, but if you need to rest, don’t worry about it. The work will get done one way or another.”

Having heard the conversation, Nadya came forward and deposited the ledgers by Shuuichi’s side, giving him a sympathetic smile. “My best wishes for your recovery, Mr. Saihara. If you require supplementary information at any point during our work together, I will collect it as soon as possible. I’ll get out of your ways now.” Giving them all a nod, she quietly made her way out of the bedroom. 

Bringing over an extra pen, extra paper, and a hardcover book for an extra writing surface, Kokichi gave Shuuichi a kiss on the cheek once Nadya had left the room. “Thanks, honey pie. I know I keep saying it, but I really appreciate your help. And don’t worry, Kai-chan--I’m not planning on working all day. We can hang out later if you want? If you didn’t want to try taking on some social letters?”

Right. The social letters...well? Really, uh...how could he mess that up?

Kaito grinned uncertainly still, but nodded. “Sure! Pass them over! Do I have to tell them it’s Prince Kaito answering them? Or am I just an anonymous government friendly person?”

Kokichi perked up, beaming up at his husband. Really?! Really-really?! Pride practically bursting out of him, Kokichi led his husband over to his desk, picking out a few social letters he’d collected, handing them over to Kaito. “You generally sign them as yourself, but you don’t have to introduce yourself other than that. It’s like I said, it’s like writing to an old friend. I’m sure people will really love hearing from you.”

And he did mean that. Even for people who didn’t like Luminary, or had heard bad rumors about Kaito, if they saw his kindness personally? It would probably make them think, at least. And for people in a middle ground? It would be a nice letter from someone new in the government. An assurance that they genuinely were looking out for every citizen’s best interest. 

“Do you wanna work at my desk? I don’t mind writing on the floor or on a book or something.”

Kaito frowned at that, not wanting to displace Kokichi, and looked around. “No, that’s alright, I will...oh, grab a book and go sit by the window! It’ll be nice! Shuuichi, you good on the bed?”

“Mmm,” Shuuichi hummed, already looking through one of the ledgers, lost in his reading. There were the financial reports, but...oh for fucks...who handwrites official documents!? Outrageous, this should have been sent back and demanded a new one...okay, well, at least the handwriting wasn’t bad...hmmm…

“I think he’s good,” Kaito observed, before leaning over to kiss Kokichi, giving him a wink. “I’m all about these social letters, ‘Kichi, go ahead and focus on what you need to do. We’re good.”

-

Damien stared despondent as his friends toyed with another adult they had caught. That was fifteen left now. The Head Secretary, Secretary Chasi, and the General didn’t count. The General didn’t count for much of anything anymore. Damien was pretty sure the man, in his head at least, was already dead. 

Watching his friends go at it, sitting quietly on a log nearby, half of a broken spear in his hand, Damien didn’t flinch when someone grown sat down next to him. For one, he didn’t really care if he died anymore, caught from behind unaware. For another, he knew it had to be the Head Secretary, none of the other adults willing to come anywhere near the murderous child group. 

As the Head Secretary sat down next to him, he said, “Not having fun with your friends, young Damien?”

“No.” Damien said, staring tiredly at them. “Nagisa likes it now. He gets just as excited as everyone else, when we catch an adult...why don’t I like it yet?”

Tengan, who enjoyed explaining things to seedlings who hadn't been lost yet, smiled down at him.

“While certain pollen symptoms are so common as to be considered universal, it doesn’t actually affect everyone the same way, or at the same rate. You could simply be an outlier, where the stress based endorphins will take longer to trigger, or won’t develop at all.” Tengan explained to him good-naturedly, watching the carnage with calm interest. “Or...another possibility is that before even taking the pollen, you were the type of individual who did not find acts like these particularly stressful. In which case, my, you would have made an interesting adult, either way.”

“I’ve seen lots of people in pain and unhappy.” Damien said simply. His hands still. Apathetic. “Mama makes them feel better, but they always came to the clinic groaning and moaning and sometimes screaming and crying…I was used to it.”

“Well, there you go. Perhaps that explains it.” Tengan smiled. “A little future seedling, not interested in the suffering of others. Flora will find you adorable. You’ll be beloved.”

“...do you have the medicine that keeps you sane on you?”

“No. I do not.”

“Then how are you still sane? Why aren’t you like them?” Damien asked, indicating to his friends playing with the weeping, screaming adult.

“I don’t need to take the medicine all the time. The changes our bodies are making? They’re stable, once they’re finished. Self-maintaining. At some point, you could stop taking pollen altogether, and to your body it will make no difference. It will still produce the spores inside of you the same as it ever did. And the medicine I took? It slowed that production to manageable levels. Made it almost unnoticeable. I’ll never have to take that medicine again for the rest of my life and be entirely fine...so long as I never take the pollen again, which would restart the spore reproduction inside of me.”

“So, if you had some spore now, you’d be like them?” Damien asked. Trying to keep his expression neutral.

The Head Secretary just smiled at the little wannabee conspirer, and said, “If you’re hoping to dose me and drive me mad, maybe run off when the caravans fall to ruin and chaos without me controlling them, then I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it’s already happened. I breathed in the pollen when we passed by the Dead Forest getting to Dicea, remember? The spores inside me are already reactivated.”

“...but...you’re not…”

“If you’ve had a good deal of the medicine any time in your life, it always takes longer and longer for the spores to start reproducing inside of you again. I am counting on that. We should be able to reach a Danganronpa town where my medicine will be available before my mind starts to go. I’ll be fine. So will you. Why do you keep trying to find new ways to destroy me? Have I been unkind to you?”

“You made my mom crazy and everyone is dead.” Damien pointed out dryly.

“You have to start narrowing your world view to just yourself. You’ll be disappointed every time if you decide to worry about everyone else.” Tengan cautioned, “You, the individual, are just fine right now. Protected and moving forward to a new life that you will do well in. Just think of that, instead of worrying about the failures we left behind in the dirt. You’ll be happier that way.”

“I’ll be happy when momma is okay.” Damien muttered, clenching his small fists...before sighing. “I saw her again this morning...her eyes are pink. I saw them in the sun.”

“Yes. That happens.”

“Will my eyes turn pink?”

“Someday, certainly. You’ll only ever see it in certain lights though.”

“...are your eyes pink?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I was taken in to be a seedling specifically to make use of my position as a Secretary in Luminary, running a very important project at the time. A school to promote good relations between the kingdoms.” Tengan explained, chuckling to himself. What a miserable failure all that had been...such a disgrace… “So, when I was fed the pollen, it was in a way that was done very deliberately and very carefully, with a counteragent that kept the outward changes to my body to a minimum. I wouldn’t have made a very good agent if anyone could tell there was something wrong with me at a glance, yes?”

“...are there other body changes?”

“Again, it depends on the seedling.  The more naturally fertile you are, the more your body changes. If you’re only capable of potentially surviving having, at most, say...ten children? Likely the only changes you’ll see are developed muscles and maybe slightly enlarged sex organs. Twenty? Some hip expansion, your chest capable of producing nectar. Something like thirty, forty? That’s much more rare, and causes more extreme changes, your body doing everything it can to prepare for as many children as possible. You could develop breasts!” Tengan chuckled.

“...like mom?”

“Not as developed, but possibly.”

“...does it matter how many kids you can have?” Damien asked quietly. “To the Flora?”

Tengan sighed, thinking how to answer this without alarming him, but without lying to him. “...to some, yes. It depends. There are laws in place to protect all seedlings, but...seedlings live a long time. Longer than humans. And it costs a lot of time and money to take care of us. So, if, say...you were owned by a Flora who specifically wanted you for breeding? And you’re twenty-eight years old, only expected to safely have five children, and you’ve already given birth to your fifth one?...Legally, you’re meant to be safely adopted off as a pet, or retired to certain facilities who take in used up Seedlings. If someone is willing to pay for your medicine to stabilize, maybe you’re used for a job instead of breeding. But the medicine is expensive and...well...Flora have a bad habit of claiming they ‘lost count’ of how many children seedlings can have and just...keep pushing them until they don’t survive a pregnancy...that’s more often how it goes.”

Damien stared at the ground. Hearing the wet sounds of a mostly dead body playfully being torn apart and tossed around, arms used as sticks to batter back and forth a dislodged eye.

“...they’re awful.” Damien decided. Eyes wet and...furious… “They’re awful to do this to us...I hate the Flora… I hate them…”

“Sure. Hate them all you like. Just remember to show that particular Flora,” Tengan said, pointing to Monaka, who was laughing and cheering on her friends antics, “with all the love and affection in the world. Because her love? That’s what’s going to keep you safe. Nothing else.”

“...I hate her too…”

“Then go tell her that.” Tengan said, giving the child an uncompassionate look, “Forfeit your future, if you feel so strongly about it.”

“...why are you like this?” Damien asked, looking up desperately at the old man. “This is torture! They’re hurting us! This is terrible! Why...why are you happy!?”

Tengan considered the child for a moment...before sighing. Placing a genuinely affectionate hand on the child's head, ruffling his hair a little, before letting his hand settle on his shoulder. “...it’s the only way to live, young man. You can spend your whole life fruitlessly trying to fight the evils around you, that suppress you, that hurt your loved ones...or you can accept that they are there, and their place in your life is permanent. Unavoidable as living and dying. And once you accept the evil outside of you? It’s easier to accept the evil inside of yourself and...just enjoy it for what it is. To indulge in all the wicked things inside of yourself that you fought with such horror before the acceptance.”

“...I don’t understand…”

“Do you know why I hurt the general so much?”

Damien frowned. He actually wasn’t certain this was the right answer, but didn’t have a better one. “...because you hate him?”

“No.” Tengan chuckled. “Because I like him very much. His leadership skills were impressive, his loyalty to the crown admirable, and his affection and protective instincts towards younger people endearing. And he has very pretty eyes. If I had hated him, I would have killed him and been done with it. But I liked him, so I keep him around to enjoy him.”

“...I...I don’t understand…”

“I’m happy because I wanted to hurt him, and am wicked enough to follow through on that feeling.” Tengan explained, patting the boy warmly on the back, “And someday, you will be happy too...or-” the Head Secretary shrugged, standing up and wiping the dirt off his robes, “-you’ll be General Juzou, and supply happiness to someone else, wicked enough to to take it from you. It’s your choice, son.”

Tengan gave the boy another fond look, gave a nod to Monoka, who laughed and smiled and waved at him with bloody hands, and left without a look back.

Damien considered the old seedlings words...considered his friends in front of him…

Sighed, and got up to go play with his friends.

-

Kokichi stretched out his neck as he walked down the stairs. Things were...life was life. He, Shuuichi, and Nadya had settled into a rhythm of work, and he was pretty pleased with it! They got through more letters than he had ever managed on his own, and he hadn’t even been working through the night!

...though he kind of wished he was...at least last night. 

He’d had another nightmare. All of Dicea begging for death, treating life the way Itch saw it. He had tried to reason with them, pointing out everything that made life wonderful. That made the world amazing. But they just droned and screamed at him to kill them already.

...he hadn’t screamed when he’d woken up, but he hadn’t really been able to get back to sleep. Got up a little earlier, just...stared out the window for a while. Watched the city slowly come to life, trying to take comfort in seeing people in their routines. Reminding himself that the smiles and banter were the reality. 

He’d been...a little quieter that day. 

But now he was heading down to drop off that day’s work and-

“Hey, ‘Kich! Ya got some personal mail in today!”

...that was surprising. 

Going over to his mailbox, Kokichi took out the letter and felt his breath catch. 

Kaede had written back.

Dearest Dicean Heir-Apparent Kokichi Momota Ouma!

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words in regards to the passing of my dear Uncle and Aunt, King Leon and Princess-Consort Sayaka. All of Luminary is in grief for the sudden and unexpected passing of such beloved members of the royal family, and indeed, I am saddened to suggest that the recovery period of our losses may prove to require a considerable amount of time. But as I am certain you have worked out for yourself by now through our shared personal connections, Luminary are a hardy people who shine brightest in the face of adversary, and I am certain in this trying time, as we do all things, we shall persevere.

Such formalities aside? It is incredible to finally make your acquaintance!!

I am already finding myself eager to pick your brain for any news you have in regards to our three friends in kind. Shuichi has fallen ill? The poor guy just really can’t catch a break, huh? I do hope Dicea weather is treating him well, as I hear it can get bitterly cold there, and he’s always been such skin and bones. As of the time I am writing this, I have not had the opportunity to sit down and write to either him or Maki, and on the off chance I have still committed this grave error by the time this letters arrives, please tell them both on my behalf I miss them dearly! 

It is so endlessly bizarre to hear you refer to Maki as having a charge! She’s always had such a way with children--I am certain by now you’ve seen examples of their fascination with her ;)-- and it’s heartwarming to know my Maki has taken one under her wing. Ugh, I simply have to write to her and have her tell me all about this young Timothy! Honestly, I must make more time to keep up with all of you.

I have written to Kaito and expect a letter from him to arrive roughly the same time as this one arrives to you, so I will not pester you asking for too many details on him. Oh, but, I do hope you two are getting along amazingly! I will confess, we’ve heard a...wide mix and variety of reports and rumors here about how things are between you two, but I personally like to believe the best of them are the true ones. Kaito sounded as if he adored you in his first letter to me, and as his cousin who loves him, that happiness is all I could want for him.

Of course, if I find out anything that concretely contradicts this, as said cousin who loves him, you and I may have a conversation in a different tone, next time I write <3

Oh, but we may not even have to wait for a letter! The new technology coming out of Dicea is breathtaking! Communications delivered by vibrations through magnetic poles!? It’s ingenious! I wouldn’t even believe it if I had not seen it with my own eyes! We commissioned for and started getting the poles put up in Luminary as soon as the technology was confirmed as operational, and who knows! Maybe by the time this letter arrives, actually speaking to each other over this ‘telephone’ contraption may actually be possible!!! That’s so exciting!!!

When the telephone is operational, I simply ‘demand’ that you and I have at least one private conversation together. No Kaito! I have sooooo many embarrassing stories to pass onto you about our childhood together, you’ll have material to tease him with for months ;) Oh! But invite Maki along! I doubt she’ll have too many opportunities to use the phone herself, while it’s still so limited, and I would truly appreciate hearing her voice again, if you wouldn’t mind using your privileges on our behalf. Me and Maki were very close, before she left. I have so much to catch up with her about! And, again, am extremely looking forward to an opportunity to get to know you!

Ah, I have so much more I wish to say, but I fear giving you a poor first impression as a hopeless blabbermouth, so I will leave it at that for now! Again, it was wonderful to hear from you! So long as my cousin is happy, I wish you all the happiness in the world! Looking forward to hearing back from you again soon!

With best regards! 

‘Princess’ ;) Kaede Momota

Kokichi knew better than to trust the tone of the letter but...it was nice to read anyway. She was a clever one. Her plan suggested that, but it was different seeing it from her own hand. 

He...should probably write back to her. With the most optimistic timeline of setting up the lines, it would probably be operational before she would be able to send a letter back but...it would be best to appear as though they were excited for any correspondence possible. It would provide better reasoning for their hopefully frequent conversations in the future. 

From what he understood of Miu’s plans, it should be nigh impossible to intercept a message on the telephone line, unless you were in the same room as the people conversing. And he didn’t know what the receiver in Luminary would be like, but in the Dicean castle, it was one room with one machine. If Kaede needed a reason to be alone in the room with the receiver, already being known to be friendly with him was a good reason. Though catching up with Kaito and Maki and Shuuichi would be a great reason too. 

It was...exciting, to get started on this, but...Kokichi was nervous too. If he could avoid it...he didn’t wish any more deaths to happen in Luminary. He wanted to make sure that if he supported Kaede, then she really would be able to help people. And if he did send Maki...he wanted to make sure it was a mission she could succeed on. With all the help and chances they could ensure. Make it worth separating a mom and her kid. 

Checking in Kaito’s box, he found a letter on the same stationary as well, and Kokichi took it to bring to Kaito. While he was having conflicted feelings...Kaito would appreciate hearing from his cousin, surely.

Kaito was sitting on a bench on the eastside of the castle, opposite entirely to their rooms. The bench was just opposite of a small garden, that Kaito hadn’t been aware of existed at all. The only reason he had found this place in the first place was because it had started getting a...little busy? And crowded in the bedroom, Kokichi’s office not set up yet. And Kaito was working too! He was reading and writing back to personal letters as they came in, but…

...he just felt in the way. So he took his stack of letters and went to find somewhere else to work.

At first he had considered the shrine, but...well, he didn’t like the idea of bringing work into there. It felt disrespectful, though there was no real rule against using the shrine as somewhere to just spend time. Then he had considered the library but...look, he knew she didn’t work there anymore, and he was trying to be better about...not holding onto that. Dr. Ford had suggested that from now on, when Kaito was faced with an uncomfortable situation, scenarios that made him feel bad, he should force himself to face it, and eventually he wouldn’t feel bad anymore! That he’d start enjoying them, even. More importantly it would train him out of his pattern of resentment and avoidance with the castle staff. 

So, Kaito had tried to sit there, take his advice, but... 

It had just gotten hard. He kept thinking about Shuichi and getting angry. So! He had done, in his mind, the next best thing! 

The garden was always filled with people. Staff taking their breaks, or maintaining the garden, Diceans wanting to enjoy the quiet, more intimate beauty of the smaller gardens then the larger parks outside the gate. A lot of the veterans came down from their rooms to here, enjoying the calm, seeing an easy reminder of everything they had fought for.

And, of course, Kaito got looks. 

But! But! No fights! None! No arguments, no sorta-arguments, not even mean looks! Kaito was putting himself out here, and, and, he was doing it alone, and, and everything was fine! Nothing had happened! There was no reason for him to be nervous when he did this! His willingness to face an uncomfortable situation rewarded! 

He’d definitely get a good grade when he reported this!

So, he cheerfully worked on his letters out here, opening the latest one. Ah. Another one definitely from a kid. Nice. Kaito liked these ones best. They were always either incredibly cute or ridiculously funny. Usually both.

Kokichi was there when Kaito had left to work somewhere else--and...well. The office would be ready soon. It could be a sanctuary for his husband again soon--but he headed up anyway, bidding Nadya a good day as she packed up her things to go. It was the off season, but she still had training, so unless it was an emergency--which Kokichi didn’t think it’d ever be, since he’d just take care of things himself in that case--she really couldn’t stay into the evening. 

It was the afternoon now, but they’d finished the stack early, so he’d suggested that she get to training early, or enjoy some of the day before then. 

Then he’d gone looking for Kaito. In the observatory, knocking on his shrine, checking some of the free rooms around the castle, peeking into the library on the off chance that he’d want to be there… It had been his closest lead. Malcolm, who had been on the evening shift until Nao had resigned, had mentioned seeing Kaito earlier, and said that he thought he saw him going outside. 

So Kokichi had headed to the backyard...and didn’t see Kaito anywhere. So...he walked around the outer parts of the castle, until he found his husband in the eastern garden. Looking...peaceful, working on some letters. Again, Kokichi felt that same pride come over him, and while he didn’t want to disturb Kaito...he should hand off the letter at least. 

“Kai-chan?”

Kaito looked up, startled slightly, before giving his husband a wide grin, “‘Kichi! Hey! What are you doing all the way over here?”

Kokichi returned the grin, coming closer to place a kiss on Kaito’s forehead, the gesture gaining some smiles from people who happened to be looking their way. “Looking for you. I’ll leave you to your work in a sec, but I stopped by the mailroom and saw that your cousin had written us--wanted to give you your letter.”

Vaguely showing off his own, he gave Kaito a grin. “You were right, she’s very nice. I know we’ll be able to talk more easily soon, but I think I’m gonna write her back anyway.”

Kaito gave Kokichi a mildly confused look, wondering what he meant for a second…”Oh! Right! Your friends weird communication invention! I’ll be honest, Kokichi, that’s definitely one of those ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ things for me.” Kaiot admitted, shrugging good-naturedly before excitedly taking his letter from Kokichi.

“Isn’t she awesome?! Good, good, I’m glad she was nice to you in her letter to you. Considering how badly you and Byakuya’s first letters to each other went, I’m glad you’re getting along with at least one family member.” Kaito said sheepishly, looking over the seal on his letter fondly. 

He considered the seal...maybe he should wait…

...sigh. 

“Thanks Kokichi! I appreciate you bringing it! Um, it’s getting late, right?” Kaito said, glancing up at the sky, seeing it turn colors. “Maybe I should...yeah, maybe we should head back to the room? I can just work on the rest of these letters tomorrow.” Kaito said, taking the stake and tucking them into his pocket, keeping Kaede’s letter, and putting it into his other pocket…

...then frowning, sitting back down, and taking her letter out again. “Sorry, sorry, I can’t really wait. I just need to read this real quick. You can go without me if you want Kokichi, I’ll come up to the room soon.”

Breaking the seal, Kaito took out the letter and quietly started to read.

Kokichi laughed softly, shrugging in kind. “It works in the city, at least. Haven’t gone to see it since we expanded out in Dicea, but I’m told it’s pretty amazing. I’ll be excited to see you use it for the first time--Kaede probably said it in her letter to you too, but she’s looking forward to speaking to you guys. I’m hoping it’ll help with home-sickness, at least until it’s safe to travel again.”

Home-sickness when it came to people, at least. And...Kokichi was worried about Byakuya having a direct way to talk to Kaito again but...hopefully he’d be too busy to have time to chat regularly. And it wasn’t like he could demand Kaito show up on his schedule all the time. For having a back and forth, they’d discovered that it was easiest to send a message asking for a good time beforehand. 

Giving Kaito a kind nod, Kokichi kissed his forehead again and stepped back. He could hope there was nothing harmful in Kaede’s letter but...he had a feeling Kaito might appreciate the privacy anyway. “Alright, I’ll see you there. I love you, sweets.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah! Love you, babe!” Kaito said, giving him a little grin, before turning back to the letter.

It was a long letter. Kaede doing her best to explain everything in its entirety, answering any question on the subject that Kaito could have thought to ask. Where they had looked, who was in charge of the search, any clues found about any of them. A long letter. She had been exceptionally kind, to not leave anyone out, not assuming that any one was more important then the other to Kaito. 

And it was all...all of it equaled out to it being kind of...hopeless…

Kaito stared down at the letter, his work entirely forgotten, suddenly just...frustrated...angry...all of them!? How could...how could they all be missing!? Taken? By Remnants, the case workers theorized. It wasn’t proven, but according to Kaede, it was basically considered fact by everyone involved in the search. Monique and Rawr, Samuel and Marcus, Fuck, even Bailsong and Saber? How on earth did you manage to kidnap those two? They were incredible fighters! 

Not to mention Komaru, who Kaito hadn’t even suspected would be on the list, and...Korekiyo and Kolesanda...Chad and Sahara…

Kaito felt the back of his eyes burn….fuck...FUCK…

He ran his hand through his hair and tried to calm down.  Moved his hand to the back of his neck and massaged the muscles. Remember what Dr. Ford said. No one cared how you actually felt about things. The only thing that mattered was the reaction. He just...had to hold it down...write in that feelings journal he was supposed to keep. He hadn’t exactly taken to it naturally, but Kaito really was making an effort to write in it substantially every day. He was. He just...didn’t know how to word things, like…

Dear Journal: Today I’m feeling angry and scared and vengeful because eleven of my friends are confirmed missing and all signs point to it being at least partially my fault. And I’m feeling helpless because all of this is happening back home, in a place I can’t...get too...can’t visit...stuck here writing back to lonely people talking to their imaginary friends while Kaito’s real friends were…

Kaito put his head in his hands, the letter crinking in his grip. That wasn’t fair. That was unkind. That wasn’t fair. Be better. You have to be better. Please be better…

Okay, so...your friends are all missing, you’re starting to actively resent your life, and you’re feeling the urge to self-destruct. Your usual coping mechanisms are, like Dr. Ford said, ‘frowned upon’. Can’t fight anyone. Can’t go hide in your shrine for a few weeks. Can’t...can’t do anything...so, what would a better person do right now?

...he didn’t know…

...he had another therapy session tomorrow. He’d tell Dr. Ford what happened and ask him what he should do. Then he’d just...do that. And...and everything would be fine, and…

Kaito’s face scrunched up, a few tears leaking out. Chad and Kore were missing...Kore’s home had been left in shambles...no…

Kaito sat on that bench and breathed for awhile. Not really knowing what else to do...before it occurred to him. Obviously! Obviously! He had to go pray for a little while! N-not break down praying! He’d come back out in an hour! But he needed to pray for a little bit! Atua would...well...he wouldn’t interfere but…

...he’d take care of them if the...the worst had happened…

He’d go tell Kokichi first. Didn’t want to disappear on his husband. He’d worry. So, taking a steadying breath, Kaito got up and headed up to their room.

Kokichi went back to his desk once he got back to their room. There wasn’t really a rush to get back to Kaede, not when any real planning wouldn’t happen until the lines went up, and as long as he sent the letter before the lines went up it would serve its purpose. But...he still felt like it. He could at least get started while Kaito was out in the garden reading his own letter. 

And...first he had to address the “mistake” he’d made before. 

Dear Princess Kaede Momota,

My apologies for my error on my last address, I truly meant no offense in even a passive-aggressive manner. Learning the Luminous address conventions is an ongoing process that I hope has not resulted in hurt feelings. I thank you for your kind correction. 

And, in kind, thank you for your return letter! It is comforting to know you and yours are staying strong in these changing times. It is to my regret that international travel is inadvisable at the moment, so that Kai-chan cannot be with the rest of his family--hopefully the new era of communication between our kingdoms will serve as an acceptable vehicle until in-person visits are safely plausible. 

I admit that I may be giving off an impression of impatience, writing back to you instead of waiting until the telephone lines have finished being constructed in the near future. Your words have inspired an excitement in me to continue our exchange despite greater efficiency on our horizon, and it would be a rare moment where I would decline a chance to provide an update on the well-beings of our mutual friends.

Shuu-chan is in recovery at the moment, but every day sees him faring better. One of the greatest healers in our capital city has taken him on as a primary patient and her dedication to his health brings comfort to us all. As of yet our weather has not started to chill so there are plenty of days yet to enjoy the outdoors--and we have already done our winter shopping, stocking Shuu-chan, Kai-chan, Maki-chan, and Timothy up on clothes that will keep them warm during our winters.

Kokichi paused for a moment, playing with a long piece of his hair before deciding to...not mention that Shuuichi wasn’t exactly ‘skin and bones’ anymore. That was something for Shuuichi to mention if it was going to be told to Kaede at all. 

And I am sure Maki-chan is excited (in her own Maki way ;o)) to talk about Timothy! And some other exciting news! I would love for her to tell you herself, but for the sake of not keeping you in the dark for possibly the next month, I’ll spoil it a little now, and you can ask her about it in greater detail at another time. (Hopefully on the telephone!) I have hired Maki-chan to be the head of my security detail! At the time of my writing of this letter, she is currently undergoing a sort of job training with our local guardforce to greater understand Dicean law when it comes to security, but I have the greatest hopes for her in this position. 

I apologize for a shift in tone, but in part I opened up this position due to recent happenings that I’m sure have made their way to Luminary in the form of rumors. I am not unaware of the rumors even in Dicea regarding Kai-chan and my relationship. Personally it is...frustrating. For however much my own word counts in your judgement...I truly love Kaito. He is a wonderful person that loves fiercely and passionately and will go to great lengths for what he believes is right. And among that passion, he can be a steadfast rock of calm in stormy waters. With all that has happened since our meeting, Kaito’s friendship is something I believe has no equal in value. I hope for others to see that too. 

...he had to stop there. Feeling his eyes burn and something in his chest quiver. ...he was okay. They’d be okay. People would come to see Kaito as he was, and things would be okay. At the very least of everything...Kaede wanted better for Luminary. 

...okay.

I am looking forward to speaking with you in a more conversational fashion, and I would be delighted to secure Maki-chan time to speak with you as well. Recently, she shared a memory of you two, remarking upon your skill with the piano. I am not very musically minded, but the way she described it made it clear that the bond between you two is something exceptionally special. I would never want to stand in the way of something like that. 

Hopefully the next time we speak, it will be on the telephone!

Wishing you well,

Kokichi Momota Ouma

Kaito got up the stairs, and took another few steadying breaths, reminding himself that his problems weren’t Kokichi’s problems.That the only thing he’d do letting it show is worry his husband and make Kaito seem emotionally unstable because he couldn’t handle it on his own. It’s not about how you feel, it’s about how you react. Feelings are what the feeling journal is for, not poor Kokichi’s psyche. Okay? Okay.

Walking into the room after a quick courtesy knock, Kaito grinned brightly at Kokichi ast his desk, “Hey babe! See, told you I’d be right up. Maki come pick up Shuichi already?” He asked, looking around. He it was getting later in the afternoon, but Shuichi usually stuck around until whatever he was researching was done, which usually took awhile. It was nice to see Shuichi so invested in his tasks, but man, Kaito was certain the guy had to be making it harder on himself then necessary, the way he’d pour over one ledger, scoff, and then move on to the next one, like whatever answer he had found hadn’t been good enough.

And at one point he had been reading through some reports, compared some signatures for the last three years, and muttered to himself, “Yeah. I bet you’re writing your own reports, asshole.” Before furiously writing a note in his journal and leaving that observation for later. So….well, at least he was having fun.

And Nadya was great! Polite, respectful, sweet...a veteran. That had been a...bit of a surprise...but, well, she didn’t seem to think it was that big of a deal, so Shuichi and Kaito had both just given each other small Looks before deciding to wait and see on that.

And, even better, there was no sign of Kirumi. 

She kept just...walking in! Politely curtseying and asking if now was a good time, sure, but just walking in! Kaito had tried to get aggressive with her a few times, but her ability to shut him down was incredible. It was like she spoke and while Kaito was busy trying to muddle through an actual, adult response, she had already come and done whatever she had come in to do in this first place, and he’d just be...fuming at her as she left, not wanting to start a fight when she had just taken out their trash, but…??? He had no idea what to do about her. She said the right things! Made all the right gestures! Was the picture of politeness!

And just so...mean. But he couldn’t explain how she was mean! It didn’t make any sense trying to say it aloud to anyone. Not without coming across as a fucking elitist asshole.

Kaito: She was polishing all the brasswork at the end of the hallway and politely asked me to wait until the polish had dried on the doorknob before going in! I felt so attacked!

Every other sane person around: ...because she inconvenienced you for maybe a minute?

Kaito: I ...you don’t understand! She just continued cleaning while I waited there...menacingly!!

Sigh. Even Dr Ford had raised an eyebrow at that particular complaint.

...annnywaaaaaay, Kaito noticed Kokichi ‘s work at the desk and asked, “You writing her back already?”

Just even alluded to what had happened in writing was...difficult today, but Kokichi smiled back at his husband when he entered, setting his letter aside to dry. “Heya--yeah, she came by before I went downstairs. While he would probably be okay with Nadya if I had to step out for a sec...she’s still sort of a stranger, you know? So unless you or Maki-chan are here, I don’t leave.”

Even more than just being a wonderful assistant--her archive reports were neat and clear and sooo standarized. He could tell she was paying attention to the issues Shuuichi had with some reports and made sure to fix them in her own--Kokichi was incredibly thankful towards Nadya. It was...a weird, sometimes uncomfortably tense situation she’d come into, but she’d been nothing but kind and adaptive. He was totally giving her first dibs on how she wanted her desk to be positioned in the new office. 

Nodding back, Kokichi got up from his desk. “Just finished my first draft, actually. Giving her updates on you guys, sharing excitement for the telephone lines, that kind of stuff. I wrote that I hired Maki-chan, but didn’t really go into it, since I’m sure she and Maki-chan would like to talk about it together.”

Just...sort of feeling like it, Kokichi came closer to give Kaito a hug, lingering for a long moment. Enjoying the feeling of having his husband in his arms. “...how was working in the garden? Did you like it?”

“Yeah! it's nice out there. Honestly, you and I should spend less time in our room, ‘Kichi. There’s lots of nice places in the castle to visit!!  Did you know there’s a whole dance room down the wing my shrine is at? Just mirrors, everywhere? I could see the back of my head!...I need a haircut.” Kaito admitted, chuckling to himself. “Maybe I'll ask that friend of yours for help. The stylist? Just let them go nuts, see what they do.”

Kaito smiled warmly as Kokichi hugged him, holding him back. As bad as things felt these days...at least Kokichi still felt good. Being around him a calm break from the...well, everything going on in Kaito’s head right now. He kinda wished he could just spend all his time with Kokichi…

...he needed to go pray. He couldn’t do anything else for his friends. He could at least pray for them. And Kokichi...didn’t deserve to be bogged down by Kaito’s issues. There wasn’t anything he could do about them either. Why spread the misery?

...wait...hadn’t they done this this same exact thing the last time Kaito had gotten word about his friends?...like, this exact same, ‘him not wanting to bother his husband with his feelings’ thing? Hadn’t Kokichi not liked that?

...was he...misunderstanding something?

...he’d ask Dr. Ford about that tomorrow too. Kokichi didn’t like it when Kaito didn’t tell him stuff. So, shouldn’t he respect that? Was it still a bad thing to push his problems onto Kokichi if it made Kokichi feel bad when he eventually, inevitably learned what Kaito was doing?

He’d ask. He had probably misunderstood one of them, at least.

Kissing the top of Kokichi’s head, Kaito said, “Hey, babe? I need to go pray for a few hours. You good in here? Need me for anything before I go?”

Kokichi couldn’t help the little giggle that came out of him, his eyes burning a little more. Kaito was...asking to spend time out in the castle? He had hoped he would someday, but...it was still...so relieving to hear him mention it. “Ah, you’ve discovered what a shut-in I am. What do you think about going on an adventure sometime, exploring all around the castle? Seeing what kind of areas we’d wanna hang out in more. I can show you a bunch of hidden paths too--makes you feel like you’re in a spy novel when you use them, even if most are just side doors and smaller hallways.”

“And Denji-chan would go ga-ga if you asked for a haircut.” Kokichi laughed a little more, grinning up at Kaito, his eyes...maybe a little more glittery than usual. “I haven’t let them go near my hair with scissors since we met.”

Maybe it was therapy, maybe just the inevitability of time, but...Kokichi was happy to hear that Kaito was starting to relax more in the castle. Maybe those hopes he’d written to Kaede about would start getting a move on faster than he’d thought. 

“Mm’okay,” he hummed, placing a kiss to Kaito’s chest in kind. “Do you think you’re gonna pray through dinner? If so, how are you doing on the snacks and water bottles in your shrine? I know you can manage yourself, but I worry when you pray through meals.”

The kind of worship Kaito did always worried Kokichi, but...it was his husband’s religion. He wasn’t going to interfere with that. 

Taking one of Kaito’s hands, he gave it a squeeze and looked up at Kaito adoringly. “Can I walk you to your shrine?”

“I am stacked on bananas, nuts and water! All good babe! God knows we don’t need all three of us having fainting spells, huh?” Kaito teased, hugging Kokichi tighter and lifting him up a little, before putting him back down and backing up, grinning at him warmly, before saying honestly, “Yeah, I might...just got a lot to talk to Atua about today. You know how it is. But I’ll probably be back before you head to bed. Don’t wait up for me though if I’m late.”

Kaito grinned warmly at Kokichi’s offer, though he did worry somewhat about the...smell that came out of his shrine when he opened the door. He had never invited Kokichi to his shrine, as much as he’d love to show it to him, and likely never would. He didn’t want his husband to associate the word with feeling sick.

Still, that was okay! He’d just wait until Kokichi left before opening the door. It’d be fine. So he said, “Yeah, babe, I’d love that. It’s always nice to have your company, and with you working these days, I’ll take it when I can get it.” Kaito laughed, movin to open the door.

Kokichi snorted before laughing lightly at the squeezing hug. Maki would have a goddamned field day if all three of them were prone to fainting. Thankfully, at least when it came to bloodletting, Kaito was responsible, and Shuuichi only fainted when he had panic attacks, it sounded like. Which could come out of seemingly nowhere, but...hopefully it wouldn’t be a very regular thing. Once Shuuichi was past the worst of withdrawal...hopefully things would be looking up for him. 

...unfortunately, there wasn’t that much Kokichi could do about his fainting spells. If he ate and kept hydrated, that helped for sure, but...poor sleep, stress, any little bug going around messing with him...sometimes he would be feeling completely fine and then it’d suddenly feel like he was underwater and welp! It was annoying...but it was something he was used to. 

Nodding in understanding--because, while he didn’t really get talking to a god, he understood needing to process and decompress well enough--Kokichi leaned against Kaito’s arm a little before leisurely leading the way to the fourth floor. “I love your company too… I know I’m not really the best at the whole work-life balance thing, and while having Shuu-chan and Nadya-chan working with me should help that… I never wanna...like, neglect you?”

Kokichi looked up at Kaito with a soft look. “I miss you too so...I’m gonna try and be better about making time for us to just...hang, you know? Like exploring the castle, or trying to finish that Circleworld book, or those night hikes you told me about! I’ve never really had to consider a social life before, but I can tell I’d just make myself miserable if I went back to my old schedule.”

“Awwww, the night hikes...we should do one of those soon. They really are super relaxing. Me and Maki-roll especially would do them constantly, when we just wanted to let some energy out and talk and stuff. Honestly probably some of our deepest conversations happened on those little hikes.”

Their best sex too. Easily. For someone so averse to public displays of affection, the sheer passion she showed Kaito when outdoors had been crazy. Maybe just something about that really, like...hidden feeling of being deep in nature? Feeling honestly alone and free...Kaito had actually struggled to keep up with her those times, forced to call it quits while she was ready to go another few rounds.

Man, Maki...thank god she was with him here, rather then back in Luminary. If she had been taken? ...fuck...god, Kaito would be losing his mind right now…

...Korekiyo...Chad…

It was so...so shitty to play favorites, especially when they were all in danger, but...god it was like his stomach was trying to rip itself into pieces, when he thought about Kore and Chad. He...he wanted all of them to be okay, of course, but...Atua...please not Kore and Chad...they had been more then just lovers to him...they had been too of his closest friends, for a time...sure, he had had to stop hanging out with Chad after that whole incident, but that was only because Byakuya would have lost his mind if they had kept meeting up after that. And Kore had…

...a lot of people had been shocked when Kaito had broken up with Kore. They had seemed like a match made in heaven. Kaito had been so happy with him. Happier then he had been in a long time...but…

...all that stuff about letting his sister pretend to be him to sleep with Kaito had been kinda fucked up. Kaito never told Kore that he knew. Was afraid Kore might try to repent, now that the secret was out. He didn’t want to hurt him in any way, just...didn’t like that he had done that. Couldn’t trust him anymore after that. And, heh, a good BDSM relationship relied on trust, as Kore himself had told him...fuck, sometimes he really wished Kore hadn’t done it. Sometimes he really, really missed Kore, how he always understood Kaito, even when he didn’t understand himself. How nice to him he was. How good he made him feel. Safe…

Heh. And Chad had been the opposite. Chad had been wild nights and mad emotions. Nothing stable, nothing ever the same. Exciting! Kaito had had so many firsts with Chad, and Chad had always made all of them fun! Everything right up until the orgy, which had been...less fun. But that hadn’t been Chad’s fault. Sometimes you got separated at parties and things happened. How was he supposed to have known how weird it was getting? 

Kaito had promised Byakuya he’d join the military to save Chad’s life. Enlist to be an officer. Stay under his chain of command...it was what Byakuya had been arguing for since Kaito had started school. Kaito knew Byakuya had wanted to put him in the military and surround him with other officers to constantly keep an eye on him. Put him on a desk job somewhere. Keep him productive but safe. Kaito would have never seen a battlefield. His brother would have never allowed it. He would have never had a real chance to be on his advising council...but it had been worth it to save Chad. His fun, funny, crazy boyfriend...

...this wasn’t fair to Kokichi. He shouldn’t be thinking about old lovers while his husband was on his arm. That was such a shitty thing to do. 

God he hoped they were safe.

“You don’t have to worry about neglecting me Kokichi. I like that you’re working again. I think it’s hot.” Kaito admitted, smirking down at him, “And Dr. Ford said one of my home projects was to start embracing scenarios that make me uncomfortable anyway? And you’re the ultimate comfort scenario. It’s good to leave me on my own, forces me to learn and practice, ya know...coping techniques. To help my anger.”

The night hikes had been an enticing activity when Kaito had first described them, but now? When...he could just leave? ...well, no. Part of being more responsible was going to be having Maki come with them, but...he liked hanging out with her. And if the three of them were there, then Shuuichi could come too. Not exactly one-on-one time with Kaito, but enjoyable time nonetheless. 

But! He digressed. Now, he’d just be able to go through the front door, leave through the gate, wish the guards on duty a good night… He’d started already but...Kokichi could start interacting with the world on his own terms. And...with that freedom...if the world tried to be cruel...Kokichi would have greater freedom to change things. Everyone doing something small made a big difference. 

Rolling his eyes a little at Kaito’s authority kink, Kokichi hummed softly. “Exposure therapy… Well, I’ll trust you guys to do it safely...even if I miss you.” Pressing to Kaito’s side fondly, Kokichi looked up curiously. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but how are your sessions going? Everything with Dr. Ford okay?”

It...still hurt Kaito’s feelings a little that Kokichi hadn’t told him about the grading system thing. He understood why he had done it! Kaito wasn’t...the most stable person. Maybe Kokichi had been afraid Kaito would tie himself into knots, trying to get a good grade. He was kinda right...but...not telling him that he could be sent away for a few years if he failed? That was…

...well, maybe it hadn’t been Kokichi’s idea not to tell him.

“Good! It’s good! I…” Kaito hesitated. “...I’m really trying to take all of his advice to heart. But sometimes I think maybe I’m interpreting what he’s saying wrong. Or...I don’t know...he says that...I may have something called Adjustment Disorder? Like, a small case of it. An inability or resistance to change that borders on self destruction. Maybe. He’s not claiming it as a diagnoses or anything, just that it was something to consider. It’s why he wants me to do stuff like what you just said. Exposure therapy. Tempering my reaction to change might make my reactions more manageable, stuff like that.”

“...I’m doing my best.” Kaito murmured. “I’m not gonna let you down ‘Kichi. I’m really gonna do everything in my power.”

Kokichi could feel his own anger flare up at that, but...he let it go. It wasn’t an official diagnosis. Just...something a doctor was thinking about. So, he hummed instead. “I don’t know if I see his reasoning for...adjustment disorder? But, well, he’s the doctor. And if it’s not making you feel worse then...I guess it’s worth exploring. I know various exercises and coping methods can work for a variety of reasons why.”

He would leave it there, but Kaito just sounded so...desperate that Kokichi looked up at him in concern before he gently brought up Kaito’s hand to kiss. “Hey… Kai-chan, just that you’re trying makes me happy. Everything...you’ve already done so much to adjust to how incredibly different Dicea is--which is kinda why I think that Adjustment Disorder guess is kinda bullshit. I can’t even imagine how I would try to cope if I came to live in Luminary.”

“We just...don’t kill people here. I’m not asking you to agree with that,” even if it was kind of horrifying that Kaito was okay with anyone’s deaths, “but I just...I’m hoping you can find some peace. Find a way to express your anger without endangering another person. That’s all. You have to go through your six weeks, and I am hoping you’ll get something out of therapy, but I don’t think there’s anything you would do that would let me down. Focus on your happiness, and that will make me happy...okay?”

“Sure! Absolutely...thanks Kokichi.”

Just...don’t fuck up and accidently get yourself sent away for up to five years!

But, but! That mentality was exactly why Kokichi hadn’t told him! Probably. Dr. Ford had said over and over again that it was almost impossible to fail. That Kaito would have to be, like...truly despicable to fail. And, like, he was really, really trying! So...it was all going to be fine.

He just wish he….felt better. Was all.

“Well...this is my stop! Thanks for the walk, Kokichi.” Kaito said, stopping in front of the shrine, grinning down at him and grinning, before leaning over to give him a kiss. “Such a gentleman, to walk a man to his door.”

Kokichi leaned into the kiss, winking when Kaito straightened up. “Well, we both know I’m nothing if not a gentleman. I’ll let the others know that you’re praying, and I’ll look forward to seeing you tonight, alright? And if there’s sweet rolls at dinner, I’ll save you one.”

Kissing Kaito’s hand again, Kokichi gave his husband a soft look. “...I love you. Have a good prayer session.”

-

“...Kaito?” 

Kaito looked up from his hands, startled. Blushing slightly as he realized he had started zoning out halfway through Dr. Fords explanation. “...sorry, doc. Just uh...sorry, I didn’t mean too-”

“It’s fine, Kaito. You shouldn’t be so nervous. I told you, you’re doing fine. I’m very proud of all this.” The Doctor praised, indicating to Kaito’s feelings journal in his hand, which he had just finished reading over. “You really seemed to be thorough. Mad at the kitchen staff at noon, frustrated that you heard snickering? Coping reaction: taking a steady breath and leaving the kitchen area. A small thing, but I’m pleased you thought to add it. Angry at your friend, Maki, for making a comment about not pushing your other friend Shuichi hard enough at training? A little bigger. Coping reaction: discussing with Shuichi if he can handle more laps. Better. It’s important to always be mindful of how we’re feeling, and to make deliberate choices in regards to those feelings. Very good. I’m very proud of you.”

“Thanks! Thanks,” Kaito said, his face reddening again, looking back at his hands...god, he was so hard to look at sometimes… “Um….but, the thing with my friends...and how I’m not supposed to tell Kokichi? Sorry, I just, I’m...I really need to know...he really didn’t like that last time I did that...”

The Doctor chuckled, giving Kaito a patient look. “If you would listen to me, Kaito,” The doctor gently chastised, making something on his clipboard, causing Kaito to silently flinch. “You’d realize I was leading up to that, till I realized your head was all in the clouds, yes? Pay attention. I’m here for your benefit.”

“Sorry.”

“Always so apologetic. Relax, Kaito! You are not in trouble. Alright, so, as I was saying, being mindful of your emotions and how you react to them? That's how you will control yourself in the future. But you misunderstand me. I am not telling you to hide things from your husband. You can, and probably should, tell him about such important things going on in your life, such as your friends all going missing--which I want to talk to you more about before this session ends, by the way. For something that big, I’d be willing to go over time if you are-- especially, as you pointed out, it’s something he’s likely to find out on his own somehow anyway.”

“No. All I meant, was that when you present Kokichi with news that is bad for you? That you don’t burden him with your reaction to that news. If you’re sad, is it fair to him to weep and make a scene in front of him, ruining his day? If you are angry, should he have to deal with you screaming and punching walls? No. You give him the information, and you can even tell him, I am sad, or I am angry. No worries. But the reactions to those emotions? Need to not be burdens on your husband. Not secrets...just not burdens. Do you understand?”

Kaito relaxed. Nodding. “Yeah...yeah, I think I get that….that makes sense.”

Ford smiled.

Good. Very good…

Cause fuck knows he didn’t know what actual advise to give the kid. He was just looking up key terms in all these books on these damn shelves here during some of his free time between lives. He just needed him to be able to fake getting better long enough that no one would feel the need to interfere with their sessions. So, sure, fake it till you make it. Or, fake it till the spores reproduce enough to make you stupid enough to take away. EIther way. Seriously, this was all going to be so much easier the farther along he got with this. Just had to make sure he acted normal and healthy at home. Easy peasy. 

Oh. Also had to make sure no physical changes. That was important. So- 

“You seem distracted, Kaito. That’s the second time you’ve tuned out. How are you feeling? Drink some water, it’ll help.” Ford encouraged, reaching out to pour him another glass of the water, handing it to him, “All of it. Hydration is key to a healthy mind.”

“Thanks...sorry, I‘m distracted… I got into a fight about...being too pushy in bed last night.”

“With Kokichi?”

“...no…”

Ford sighed. Making his clipboard. ”I’m not a marriage counselor....but cheating on Prince Kokichi could factor into your anger management issues. These are things I have to know about, Kaito.”

“I’m not cheating! I’m not.” Kaito said, looking nervously at the clipboard, “I...it’s a mutual relationship between the three of us.”

“You’re in an open relationship? Really?” Ford asked, surprised. Well..that could be fun...god knows he wasn't having any fun yet as Shirogane. That kid needed so much attention. It was so boring… with renewed interest, Ford asked, “Any sort of restrictions to it?”

“No, it’s not an open relationship. It’s just, ya know...between the three of us. It’s Shuichi.” Kaito explained, shrugging, “And...I’ve been really focused on Shuichi lately? Like, I’m constantly thinking about him lately. And, that sucks, because he doesn’t...he’s not as into sex as I am. He likes it! But...not as often as I do. And he’s been getting annoyed with me for...trying a lot lately.”

“I see...well, can you turn some of that attention on your husband? Or is it a similar situation?”

Kaito looked guilty at that idea, frowning. “...It’s not exactly the same, no. Kokichi likes being with me, I think. He seems to like it. But I haven't always been the...best about being...gentle with him. And I promised myself I’d stop pressuring him if I didn’t see signs he wanted it first? And I just...he went through the...well, you know. The kidnapping. And I think that’s really...I don’t want too…”

Kaito sighed, looking at his hands again as he said, “...I feel guilty even thinking it. I’m so fucking...I’m...fuck, ha!” Kaito suddenly laughed, looking desperately at Ford as he explained, “See, the issue is, I’m always horny, right? That’s always been true! It’s always somewhere on the back of my mind. Always, that’s never not been the case. I’m used to it, right? But...it’s been just...bad lately. Like, really bad. Like...daydreaming about pinning people down bad. And, I mean, I’ve had daydreams like that before, but...in an abstract kind of way? But now its...sorry. Maybe this is all too personal…”

“Nothings too personal with me. Go ahead...you’re worried if you put that focus on your smaller lover, that you’ll hurt him?”

Kaito nodded.

“Are you not concerned about the other one in the same way? Shuichi?”

Kaito chuckled. “He’s bigger. He’s trained. And, like I said...we got into a fight last night. Nothing bad, just...one where I was definitely the bad guy, ya know?”

“Understandable...well, it sounds like you’ve already identified the problem. Sexual aggression. Maybe just from built up sexual tension? Good. Mindfulness. So, next step.” Ford said, making his clipboard. “How do we react to that?”

“...we...um…” Kaito’s brow furrowed, “...keep it to ourselves?”

“No!” Ford laughed, shaking his head, “We spend it! Sexual tension is easy to fix. You have sex! Masturbate! Sleep with Shuichi. Sleep with your husband! Stop waiting for him to make the first move.”

“But...but what if I-”

“Would you? Because that’s a different issue, if you would. That’s a problem, that the only way to not harm your husband is to not sleep with him. Is that your problem?” Ford asked, raising an eyebrow, “Because that’s more serious.”

Kaito frowned...glancing at the clipboard...before shaking his head. “No...of course that’s not the problem. I’m just nervous, that’s all. And you think I should just…”

“Like everything else. Exposure therapy. Do it, realize it's not gonna be that bad, stop being afraid of it. And that masturbation suggestion was serious, by the way. Sexual tension is hard to build when you’re taking care of your own needs. When’s the last time you masturbated?”

Kaito blushed, laughing nervously. “Um...it’s...weirder when you live with someone else. I don’t want to make Kokichi uncomfortable so it's...maybe been awhile…”

“Do it when he‘s not around then.”

“Well...yeah, obviously…”

“Your husband is picking you up, yes? Want to be clear headed when he gets here? Do it now.”

“What!?” Kaito said, his eyes wide, face beat red now as he stammered out, “W-what!? I mean, I...I can’t-”

“Not in the office.” Ford chuckled, rolling his eyes, gesturing to the bathroom door. “In there. Go. Get it done. You will feel better.”

Kaito glanced at the bathroom, then at Ford, stuttering out, “I...isn’t that...awkward or…”

Ford considered Kaito for a moment...before shaking his head, marking his clipboard as he murmured to himself, “Refuses practical exercises…”

Kaito tensed. Looking to the bathroom again. Then to the clipboard…

“...you said we could go over time?”

-

It was a nice day. Not sunny--it was cloudy and a little windy, not cold, but with more of a coolness in the air than they’d had all summer. Kokichi was happy to be out in it. Dressed in his usual clothes, he waved to people passing by, returning smiles as he saw them. And now, most of them knew they were waving back to the heir. 

Which led to some confusion over who the man walking with him was, but there were those who knew better. Who knew the name Kauzaki well and gave respectful waves to the veteran, moving on once they got a tip of his hat back. 

“...so I think it’s going well, you know?” Kokichi chattered to his father, catching him up to date with everything that had been going on. “I worry about him, but I’m not an expert. And, like...I know some doctors can be full of shit, and some just miss stuff, but...Dr. Ford had a good vibe when we did our intro meeting. I just need to trust that Kai-chan would tell me if these sessions weren’t working for him.”

“...yer gonna worry no matter what, Bunny. Y’ave anxiety.”

Kokichi sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Well...yeah. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth talking out.”

“Mm.”

Shooting his dad a small grin, Kokichi sat on the bench outside of Dr. Ford’s office, content to enjoy the world while he waited for Kaito to come out. “...it’ll be okay. Communication and community are key--it’ll be okay.”

Dr. Ford laughed as he opened the door, clasping Kaito on the shoulder, who gave him a small grin in return as he stepped out the door. “Excellent. Excellent session. A’s all around!” the doctor glanced over to the bench and spotted the Dicean Prince, giving him a warm wave, “Ah, there he is. The man of the hour! And a friend! Hello!” Dr. Ford said, reaching out to shake Ikou’s hand. “Doctor Ford. Who do I have the pleasure?”

Kaito looked warmly at Kokichi, reaching out to him. Dr. Ford was right. He really did feel a lot calmer. “Hey babe…”

Kokichi looked over and waved back at Dr. Ford, wondering if they had been talking about him or if it was just a quirk of the doctor’s speech. But, either way, he hoped it really had been a good session. His smile brightened upon seeing Kaito and he hopped off the bench, eagerly coming to Kaito’s side and taking the hand extended to him, giving it a happy squeeze. “Hey, Kai-chan. Ready to head back? We totally have the time if you wanted to stop somewhere first.”

Ikuo gave Kaito’s therapist a nod, shaking his hand. “Ikuo Kauzaki. Housekeeper.”

Kaito nodded at Kokichi’s question, before thinking about it for a moment. “Actually, uh...you mind if we stop by the candy store? I gotta get Shuichi an apology gift. We…” Kaito glanced at Ikou, and decided better on it, “I’ll tell ya about it later. But I should probably get him something nice.”

Dr. Ford nodded warmly back, giving him an easy smile. “Ah, I’ve heard a little about you. The ‘Bunny Man’, yes? And a Veteran! Thank you so much for your sacrifice, Ikou. It’s a debt we can’t hope to repay.”

Kokichi raised a bit of an eyebrow but nodded, never one to say no to a trip to the candy shop. “I’m sure Shuu-chan will be happy to get a nice treat. Maybe we should get some of Miss Andou’s pastries? Like...a small box assortment. I still have plenty of candy since my darling, considerate husband brought me a big ol’ gift of ‘em not long ago,” he chuckled, pressing against Kaito’s arm affectionately, “But I might get a chocolate or something. She really is so skilled at her craft.”

Ikuo hummed, a little amused that his sort-of son-in-law stuck on that impression so hard. It had been a long time since he’d left the troup, but he’d enjoyed the work, so it wasn’t the worst thing to be known as. “Thanks. Hopin’ we can all enjoy the peace now. ‘N thanks for lookin’ after our lad. See ya again.”

He knew better than to assume he could just...insert himself into Kokichi and Kaito’s life, but Ikuo cared about Kokichi, and Kokichi cared about Kaito. That was all Ikuo needed to make a decision, but more than that...Kaito was a good kid. Had issues, ‘a course, but who didn’t? Ikuo wanted to look after his sort-of son-in-law, and making sure he had good support for his mental health was a big part of that.

Starting to lead their small group to Miss Andou’s candy shop, Kokichi gave Kaito’s hand another squeeze, getting his attention. “I know you guys haven’t had too many meetings, but I don’t suppose Dr. Ford’s given you any stories about Fein yet?”

Kaito glanced back at Dr. Ford over his shoulder uncertainly now, the doctor now heading back into the building. He...had tried to ask once, knowing Kokichi would love a story, but...the Doctor had given him a strong impression that going that far off topic was bad for his grade, and he had backed off pretty quickly. Maybe when he found out how his grades were next session, he could risk taking some lowering points to get his husband a story…

“Not yet, ‘Kichi, but I’ll ask him about it next time, okay? Get you one good story,” Kaito promised, grinning down at his little husband, squeezing his hand gently. 

His sessions were...a little stressful. And kind of weird? The thing with the bathroom had been weird...but he did feel a little better after each one so far. A little more confident that he could handle the next big ‘ooph’ or ‘grrr’ moment. This whole concept of ‘mindfulness’ especially. It felt sorta obvious, the idea that you should just be...aware and honest with yourself how you’re feeling moment to moment, but it was something that no one had ever really said out loud to him before. And it was kinda...hard??

But, it was good to know this was something he was struggling with! Cause then he could fix it, right? With the feelings journal and the sessions and all that. Be aware of how your feeling. Be aware of how you actually, physically reacted. Make conscious choices. It all made sense. It was just kinda hard to...practice. But that was why he was doing therapy! To learn!  And he really, really liked Dr. Ford.

….

The bathroom thing had been weird though.

But, lots of things were weird these days. So, whatever. 

The candy store came up quicklu, and outside of it were three familiar kids, each of them eating their latest spoils. Ace glanced up and gave the princes’ a little wave. “Hey Prince Kokichi, Prince Kaito. Back from your business trip already?”

Kokichi shrugged a little, though his smile showed how much he appreciated Kaito’s offer. “I was just wondering if it came up in natural conversation. If it comes up, I’d love to hear about it, but don’t worry about it if you guys are on a roll or something. I can always ask him myself, after all.”

Dr. Ford had been right that they did sort of have a limited time, but...not really? Kaito needed six weeks of anger management therapy overseen by a certified counselor to fulfil his penalty from his assault charge, and hopefully in that time he’d learn to manage his anger better, but progress differed wildly person to person. No one had the same path, so trying to measure Kaito to some sort of standard? Impossible, and...kind of got mind control-y and eugenics-y. Gross stuff. 

If he felt like his sessions were helpful? Then after the six weeks, he could continue with them if he wanted. He could stop or find other therapists or even group counseling activities if he wished. And Kokichi would be there to support whatever made Kaito happiest. 

...and...he was kind of hoping that someone would find a way to...if not undo, then give Kaito the tools to cheat his brainwashing. But that wasn’t his place to interfere. 

Kokichi waved back at Ace and the other kids, giving them a smile just...wondering if they had told Aba and the others what he’d told them. And if it was just luck that sent them heading south. 

Taking a breath, he greeted them. “Ace, John, James, good afternoon! Yeah, we ended up coming home a little sooner than we’d planned. Can’t plan for everything, you know?” ...he didn’t know if the kids had heard what happened. It wasn’t a secret but...sometimes things just flew over kids’ heads. Even the heir of your country getting kidnapped by members of a death cult while a family of four were slaughtered…

...Kokichi shuffled a little closer to Kaito, rubbing soft little circles into the side of his hand.

Ace nodded, while John and James both eagerly looked around, James hoping to see Maki, John hoping to make fun of the fact that James was looking for Maki. But both twins frowned as they saw her nowhere in sight, disappointed...before John's eyes went wide, looking over to Kokichi in wonder.

“Hey, I heard that you fought off some bandits, Prince Kokichi. That’s awesome! Can you tell us the story?”

James looked confused, “Where did you hear that? I didn’t hear that. We’re literally never apart.”

“I heard it from Samantha. She said she heard at the grocery store that Prince Kokichi dealt with some bandits on his own.”

“Samantha hates me…”

“Yeah she does.” John snorted.

Ace, who hadn’t heard anything, glanced at Kokichi in open disbelief, “You did? No you didn’t. Bandits aren’t real. They’re just story things.”

“Bandits are too real.” John said, offended his story was doubted.

“Name one bandit you’ve ever seen.”

“Just cause I aint ever seen one doesn’t mean they’re not real! They’re like witches! They look like anyone else!”

“You’re so stupid. Witch’s aren’t really real either.”

Kaito considered the kids quietly. It literally had never occurred to him to wonder how the three had known where they were going. Not once. Danger was everywhere. It had just seemed natural to him that they would show up... 

Mindful.

What are we feeling?

…okay. Good. 

How do we react to it?

...Kaito glanced down at his husband, rubbing circles into his hand...comforting himself? Trying to calm Kaito? No idea...how do we react…

... what would Maki do?

...as of a few days ago?

Kaito looked to Ikou for help. “Uh…?”

Kokichi deflated a little, still trying to keep upright in front of the kids. They’d heard something about it, huh. But from behind him and Kaito, there was a low hum. 

“Witches ‘r real. So’s bandits. Always gotta consider who’s in fronn’a ya an’ if it’s a good idea ta piss ‘em off.”

Kokichi looked over to his dad in slight surprise before smiling softly. Maybe the kids would hear the whole story someday, but for now...he could just turn it into a kind lesson. Giving the kids a sheepish laugh, Kokichi twirled a bit of his hair. “I’m not really one for fighting. I was talking with them until my husband and friends,” Kokichi leaned against Kaito a little, showing him off, “found me and arrested them. It was much less exciting than rumors are probably saying. But I’m very thankful to have people care about me--makes me excited to help them out in the future in return, you know?”

James nodded good-naturedly, while John just looked disappointed. “Awww, man....no fighting at all? Lame...”

“There aren’t such thing as witches...right?” Ace asked, looking to her friends for validation, no longer as certain in the face of Ikou’s total serious expression. “Everyone would be a witch if there were witches.”

“Nuh-uh. I’d be a bandit.” John said, grinning wide at the idea.

“You cried when Samantha tried to steal that beanbag from the corner store.” James pointed out.

“I was five! And I wouldn’t steal stuff. I just wanna go travel the wild with a bunch of people and wear bandanas on our faces.”

“”Then you’re not a bandit then. Bandits steal things.”

“Fine, then I’ll be a pirate.”

“You’re really, really dumb John.”

“Yeah, John.”

As the three kids got distracted making fun of John, Kaito took a breath...they were just kids. Kids were, as pointed out...really, really dumb. And a part of him wanted to sit down and have a serious conversation with them about, well...selling people out to stalkers, but...he didn’t trust himself to have that conversation with them without losing his temper right now. He didn’t feel good. He’d likely see these three around in the future. Maybe he’d have that conversation with them when he felt more stable. Or maybe with their parents? That was an option too.

For now, he just gave Kokichi a small, apologetic shrug, before saying, “Let’s leave them too it. Let’s get inside for they run out of pastries, babe.”

Hopefully one day John would be thankful for a lack of fighting. But for now, they could sit with the knowledge that friends and the decision to care were some of the most powerful things you could have. Maybe they’d find out what happened but...well…

...it wasn’t his job to tell his life story to people. 

Kokichi gave Kaito a small smile before waving to the kids and walking past, sighing softly at that sweet smell of the candy shop. Kaito had been kind enough to buy him treats, but he hadn’t been to the shop since before his attack and...it was nice to be there in person again. 

And, with the pastries being right in front of the counter…

“Ah, look who it is! My favorite customers!” Ruruka gave the couple (with a chaperone?) a friendly smile, genuinely happy to see them, even if she’d seen Kaito just the other day. “It’s been too long, your highness--I’d be worried that you lost your sweet tooth, if not for your adoring husband making sure you’re always stocked. What’ll it be today, boys?”

“Hi, Miss Andou,” Kokichi grinned back. “I’ve been a little tied up, but I’m happy to be able to make it back to your shop! We’re going to pick out some pastries for a friend of ours--aaaand maybe get something small for the road.”

“I hope you do! I made a wonderful batch of double-baked chocolate chip donut holes today--if your friend needs a pick-me-up, I’d highly recommend them!”

Kaito looked at the pastries in front of him, working out some math in his head...he had brought enough money to get three baked goods, or two baked goods and a nice box to present it in...Shuichi would probs be fine with just pastries in a paper bag, but it was meant to be an apology. Maybe presentation would matter? Hmmm…

“Sure, um, a  small bag of the donut holes, um...that little swirly thing over there? No, no the one next to it...thanks. And….” Donut holes and swirly thing enough? All that in a nice looking package? Did that adequately say, ‘I’m really, really sorry for trying to continue pushing you into sex after you told me no twice’?

Sigh…. “...could I get it put in that little golden box over there? With a bow? Thanks.”

“Coming right up!”

Kokichi looked over the store as Miss Andou prepared Kaito’s order, eventually settling on a piece of chocolate-covered honeycomb. With everyone on his case these days, he had really been trying to eat regular meals, even when he didn’t feel that hungry. But, as he’d been told, even a small meal was better than nothing. And honeycomb was light--wouldn’t ruin his appetite at all. 

Placing it down on the checkout counter while he got his money out, Miss Andou finished tying up a cute, tasteful bow around the golden box Kaito had picked out, having arranged the pastries in an appealing way as well. However, in Kokichi’s bag, she slid in a few of the coated-liquid-gummis, giving the princes a wink. “Here’s some free samples too. Next time you’re back, let me know how you like them!”

If they had a friend who liked sweets too, who they were willing to not only buy sweets for, but to buy gift wrapping too? Between Kokichi and the friend, their frequent business would send people in in droves!

“Thank you, Miss Andou!” Kokichi smiled, paying for the items. “That’s very generous of you--still working on the formula?”

Taking the money with satisfaction and making the appropriate change, she nodded with a light laugh. “I know perfection is the enemy of action, but I can still see improvements I can easily make. And the more taste-testers I can get opinions from, the closer I’ll get!”

“Thanks.” Kaito said, taking the package, before considering his funds. He had a little left.  Enough for something small. Sugar kinda sounded good to him too, but...ugh, he liked Dr. Ford and all, but his obsession with sugar water was a little nauseating. After all that, even if sugar sounded good, Kaito still didn’t really want it. Just kinda in a vague way more then anything. He’d have something real when he got home.

Still, the pharmacy was right nearby. Looking at the candies, he said, “You think Seiko likes candy? Maybe I could drop some off to her on the way home? Just as something nice?”

Being mindful. Choosing reactions. Shuichi’s explanation of his...time with Seiko before everything had come out in the open had...disturbed Kaito more then he had realized, when they had been talking about it. It was one of those things that just kept coming up to him now, randomly.  Thinking of his boyfriend desperate and helpless and the one person who had known just…

...Kaito wished he felt better…

You can control your reactions! Just control your reactions! Seiko had been a huge, insurmountable help since Kaito had known her! Invaluable! And people made...mistakes...it was okay...you didn’t have to be angry. She wasn’t an enemy. She was your sidekick! You protect sidekicks! Help them grow! 

…

(...he wanted to go home…)

Kaito swallowed, banishing the thought with a nervous shake of his head. Nope! Nope! Focus on something else! 

“Actually, maybe next time.” Kaito decided, looking down at the present. Deciding to focus on that. One problem at time. “I’d rather head home sooner rather then later.”

The reaction was visible. A disgusted, furious look across Ruruka’s face, her fists balling under the counter. Kokichi looked up in alarm, about to ask if the woman was alright before she practically growled, “Seiko doesn’t eat sugar. Just save your energy.”

“...Miss Andou? Is ev-”

Like a switch, the older woman took a breath then replaced the cutesy, friendly smile on her face. “Ah, pardon me. I hope to see you all soon!”

There were other people in line, so Kokichi stepped away, but he sent the confectioner a worried look before looking up at Kaito. “Um...I guess we can get something else nice for her later… You’re probably tired after your meeting, huh. Let’s just go home.”

Kaito was also a little surprised at the candy ladies reaction. That was...weird. 

...well, again. Lots of things were weird lately. Add it to the list.

Taking Kokichi’s hand, nodding to Ikou that they were heading out, they left the shop. The kids were gone, off riding somewhere, and Kaito felt a little better for that. He really did want to talk to them about what happened someday. He didn’t blame the kids for what happened, but, Aba, Itch and Tom had proven to be seriously dangerous people, and the kids had more likely then not been talking to them. Someone needed to explain to them some simple ‘stranger danger’ etiquette. 

Hell, Kaito had been seriously tempted for a second there to invite them to train with him in the morning, just to ensure they got some sense of danger in their heads...but he had decided against it, largely because he was taking the training as an opportunity to bond with his kid a bit.  It was already so difficult to connect with him, adding in three older kids to the mix would just make it harder.

Heading back to the castle, Kaito made some small talk with his husband, asking him what he and Ikou had done out in town while Kaito had been at his meeting. As he listened to their explanation, he smiled warmly at Kokichi. It was...easier to remember why he was still here, looking at him. Oh, sure, he was far from the only reason Kaito hadn’t run for it yet. He was trying to be responsible to Tim, would feel sick to abandon Maki after their conversation at the beach, and would sooner chop his own dick off then leave Shuichi in the middle of rehab...and honestly, all those connections, individually, made him want to stay.

But Kokichi was a little different.

Which was weird. Wasn’t it? Kaito was sort of a romantic, and he treated his oaths seriously...but his devotion to Kokichi was still weirdly intense, for the short time they had known each other. Certainly he should love Shuichi best of all, right now, right? As his oldest friend and boyfriend? Or Maki, as his steadfast protector and mother of his adoptive kid?

God, it was so shitty that Timothy wasn’t even a contender for top place in his heart. Poor kid….

But, if he was honest with himself? Mindful? Kokichi still took priority over everyone, in his head. He didn’t know why. But he did.

Which was weird because fuck...sometimes Kaito didn’t even want to look at Kokichi.

Which wasn’t fair! Why? Why did he feel like this!? Why was spending time with his husband both the best and worst part of Kaito’s day? He felt bad around him and he felt bad away from him and he just always felt bad.

He had told Dr. Ford about this...kinda. After the bathroom visit, embarrassed, but admittedly a little more clear-headed. He had spoken roughly around it, anyway, before admitting that one of the reasons he wasn’t pursuing Kokichi was because Kokichi made him feel bad, sorta…

He felt sorta...monstrous, around Kokichi.

The kind of person his husband would be afraid of while in the arms of people trying to ‘save him’ from Kaito.  

And the Doctor had hummed and thought about it and said they could talk about it more next session, when he had more time to think about what it all meant. And he liked Dr. Ford, but...sometimes Kaito got the impression the doctor was making it up as he went, sometimes…

...no, he doubted that. The Doctor was just trying to be thorough. Kaito should be grateful.

And he needed to be better! He couldn’t think of Kokichi that way. Or of home. Or anything else like that! He needed to be better! 

(...Kokichi had been tied up at the bottom of a carriage afraid of what Kaito would do…)

(...monster…)

(...he hadn’t been a monster at home…)

Kokichi and Ikuo had taken a walk around the gardens while Kaito had been in therapy. Maki had gotten back before he’d needed to go and...Kokichi wanted to spend some time with Ikuo. They were different now--things were different now. Ikuo no longer spent almost every minute of every day looking after Kokichi, didn’t need to be on high alert for the next poor person manipulated into attacking him. But...Ikuo was still Kokichi’s dad, and Kokichi was still Ikuo’s son. 

So they meandered around the gardens and talked. Kokichi talked about the conversation he’d had with Aiichi. How he didn’t think he’d really ever be able to forgive the leader for all the pain his decisions had caused, but...for his own sake, he wanted to make their relationship better. And Aiichi was willing to stop and listen and work for it too. 

Ikuo had smiled under the shadow of his hat, remarking that he was glad to hear that Aiichi had grown up in the last ten years too. 

Kokichi didn’t go into quite as much detail as he told Kaito what they’d gotten up to that day, but...it was clear that he had managed to find peace. Out of all the problems still brewing and bubbling...at least that one had been laid to rest. 

As they came to the castle, Kokichi asked, “You gonna give Shuu-chan his gift right away? Have any plans for the rest of the day?”

Kaito nodded, the two walking into the entrance hall, heading up the stairs. “Yeah. I think so. Then I thought maybe we could do that ‘exploring the castle’ thing we were talking about? You could show me some cool things, I bet.” Kaito said, grinning with a small shrug, “And Shuichi could probably use the exercise after being cooped up in Maki’s room all afternoon.

But, as they got to Maki’s room, Kaito knocked once. Then, after a second, knocked again. 

No answer.

Frowning, Kaito headed to Tim’s room next, wondering if maybe they were there? A few knocks. No answer. 

Kaito then tried both doors, both locked. Hmmm…

Kaito stared at the doors nervously for a moment...before shaking his head. “They went out. I don’t need to worry. Either all three of them went somewhere together, or Maki took Shuichi out somewhere and Timothy’s running around with Chase somewhere with Haneda. It’s fine...I don’t need to worry…”

Sighing, Kaito said, “Let me drop the package in our room. I’ll give it to Shuichi later. Still wanna explore? If you wanted too in the first place, I mean. It’s okay if you don’t. Like, if you have work?”

With a hug and a wave from Ikuo’s side, the housekeeper broke from their group once they got back to the castle, heading back to his duties, Kokichi grinned excitedly up at Kaito. It wasn’t the most adventurous thing, sure, but, for one, it was only fair to clue Kaito in on what his home had to offer. And Kokichi had spent years with only the castle to explore, so it would be fun to share that experience with someone else. 

Multiple someones, hopefully!

...but that hope didn’t pan out. With a little sigh, Kokichi nodded along with Kaito’s assessment. “Maki-chan wouldn’t let anything happen to either of them. They’ll probably be back around at dinner, so...we can ask what they got up to then! It’s like you said the other day, right? It’s nice being able to be out and about.”

Following Kaito into their room for him to drop off Shuuichi’s gift, Kokichi hummed an upbeat, “Nm mm!”

“I’ve been trying to schedule my work so that I don’t work that much longer after Nadya-chan and Shuu-chan finish up for the day. Just finishing the things they were working on, maybe some quick social letters--that sort of stuff.” Giving Kaito a sheepish smile, Kokichi rubbed the back of his neck. “...I had a talk with Shuu-chan the other day and...he pointed out I might’ve been...overcompensating a bit. And...I guess I can be a bit of a workaholic. So...if I can schedule myself to always make it to dinner, to finish whatever I’m working on so I’m not working through the night anymore…”

...then he might be able to keep from collapsing from stress as much. 

Kokichi shrugged a little before taking Kaito’s hand again, looking up at him with a bright smile. “It’s easier to get myself to do that when I have the prize of hanging out with you guys waiting for me. Or, the potential for that, anyway. I don’t expect that you guys will always be around just on my whims, you know? You have your own things going on.”

...like what?

Well, maybe he should get some things to do? Between all of them, Kaito didn’t want to be the only one not...doing anything. Not pulling his weight. Once Shuichi was better, he’d undoubtedly end up finding more to do, he was too brilliant not too. And Timothy was going to start school soon. And Maki was going to start working security full time once she was done shadowing Lake, and Kaito had no doubt she was going to pour herself into that. 

(Good. Maybe that would distract her from whatever was behind the curtain on the wall.)

(Maki didn’t do art projects.)

So, yeah. Kaito should probably find something for himself to do too. He had a feeling social letters weren’t, uh...exactly going to keep him busy, if he focused exclusively on them, and honestly, he wouldn’t have felt very proud of himself by the end of it anyway. He should do something...he didn’t know. Helpful at least. Something moderately useful.

...Kokichi had been really impressed by that ‘daycare’ idea. Kaito was still half convinced that if it was feasible or desired, it’d be there by now, but...maybe he should at least try to explore that? Make Kokichi proud?

He really loved Kokichi.

(He just wished he had never met him sometimes.)

(He wished he was home.)

Pulling Kokichi’s hand up, Kaito gave him a kiss on his knuckles, smiling through it. “Hey, so long as you’re taking care of yourself? You just let me know when you want to spend time with me and I’ll make it work from my end. I don’t want to be in the way of you doing your heir-apparent stuff. It’s important, and I wanna see you succeed. I’m rooting for ya, ‘Kichi. You just let me know how I can help.”

Looking around, following Kokichi’s footing, he asked good-naturedly, “Alright! Where are we going? Take me on a journey!”

“You’re never in the way,” Kokichi gently assured Kaito again. As long as Kaito kept saying it, Kokichi would keep refuting it. Because it was true! When Kaito would comment on something, it never took Kokichi out of his focus, and he more often enjoyed the little bits of conversation. And when Kaito asked about his work...really, Kokichi was just worried about boring him. But he always listened. Maybe not understanding everything, but pretty much anyone would be in that boat. Kokichi had spent his entire life being trained to understand his work. 

...it saddened him to think that Kaito kept saying he was in the way because that’s what he’d been told by others…

With a little giggle, Kokichi figured they’d just start on the third floor, since they were already there. “Kai-chan, I almost always wanna hang out with you. But I don’t wanna smother or trap ya, so if you’re busy, or just don’t wanna hang? Tell me to fuck off--I can take it.”

“So, the wings are mostly separated, right? For privacy reasons, mostly, so you don’t get people accidentally walking into the residential wing. But! There are ways to get from wing to wing without going to the first floor or the fifth! My new office is gonna be on the east wing of this floor, so...let’s start with that shortcut!”

“Oh, did they finish putting it together? That’s exciting! Yeah, let’s go, I wanna see it!” Kaito said, genuinely excited. His prince had an office! Like ,a real one, and not a corner of his bedroom! Fuck yeah! 

As they walked, Kokichi focused and clearly knowing exactly where he was going, Kaito said, “So, you and the king talked? I know you’ve mentioned it a few times but...what was that like? Was it a fight or...I don’t know. I can’t even imagine what a conversation like that would be like.”

“It’s mostly done, yeah. I’m giving Nadya-chan first pick of where she wants her desk when she comes in tomorrow morning, so we’re probably gonna be moving furniture around a bit, but yeah! We have four desks in there now, supplies for each, a few bookcases so we can keep reference books and ledgers over there, and I was given the okay to put a couch in.” Kokichi gave Kaito a soft look, his cheeks pinking. “It’d be nice for guests, but mostly...I wanted something comfortable that you can lie down on so if Shuu-chan starts feeling bad but not enough to wanna go, he has a place to rest.”

Leading Kaito down a smaller hall, Kokichi started down one of little-known ways to quickly get across the castle. And as he did, he huffed quietly through his nose. 

“Honestly...I couldn’t even tell you what I imagined would happen. But, no, it wasn’t a fight. Between setting up the wedding and him letting me go and our trip and then our talk with Tim and everything with Shuu-chan…” Kokichi sighed softly. Playing with Kaito’s fingers a little. “...I didn’t want to fight him. I...understand him more, I think. He messed up but...he really did just want to keep me safe. Alive. And between my health and accidents growing up, and rebelling...I only ever made that harder and harder to do.”

Kokichi was quiet for a moment before he tapped his head against Kaito’s arm. “...I don’t think I’ll ever really forgive him for what he made my life. And every time someone tried to help me or point out his faults in regards to me, he just...never listened. For a leader...that’s a horrible way to think, and I can only hope no one else was hurt by that.”

“But despite his mistakes...he really does love me. Has all this time. Really thinks that I’ll be a great leader…” Kokichi could feel himself tearing up and he wiped his sleeve over his eyes. “...I want to get to know my father. Not to forgive him, but...for my own sake. It doesn’t erase the past, but hopefully we can make a happier future together, you know? And...he wants that too. He apologized to me, you know? Not in some...condescending way like he just wanted me to shut up, or that he knows I’m unhappy but this is for the best. He apologized and just...admitted that he was wrong. That he hurt me. And...he wants to be better.”

“...that’s all I really wanted, I think. My father to tell me he loved me, and to apologize for everything. To make good on those words.”

Sniffling a little, Kokichi wiped his eyes again before smiling up at Kaito. “Sorry, it’s still a little...fresh? For me?”

Kaito looked a little sadly down at Kokichi, though he knew this was all a good thing. Especially from a Dicean mentality. It was good that they had found peace with each other. The sort of thing that would actually bring Kokichi peace. Kaito was happy for him. 

Smiling softly, he let go of Kokichi’s hand and put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him towards himself a little, just giving him a little side hug as he said, “That’s fine...and that’s good, Kokichi. That’s all really good! I’m glad you guys got there...I’ll admit. I don’t really...understand the king.” Kaito said honestly, shrugging a little. “For a little while I thought maybe...that he was setting us up for something? I don’t know. I was a little paranoid.”

“When I asked to go to Danganronpa? Before our wedding? I didn’t...persuade him, or intimidate him, or...I barely had a chance to talk to him. Not really. I wasn’t even expecting to get even sort of a yes. I was just trying to see the person you had described to me for myself. We were alone, I was weak...I wanted to see him drop his mask, so I could protect you better from him…”

Kaito thought back to that day...the same day that Tengan had come into his room and made him...really, uncomfortable...it wasn’t like what he expected from Aiichi wasn’t something he wasn’t familiar with. That was just how...people in power were.

“But...that just wasn’t what happened? Not even a little. He just...immediately agreed? Asked us to bring a healer. That was it...I was...so confused…”

“Maybe he’d just been thinking about how he’s treated you for a long time now? I don’t think it was recent, is what I mean. He agreed so easily to you going on a cross country trip with a total stranger...honestly, I almost felt like my asking was the excuse he was looking for to allow something like that.”

“...yeah. I’m happy for you, Kokichi. I think the king’s been wanting to be a better father to you for a long time, and now he just finally...can? I mean, he should have been this whole time.” Kaito growled, feeling his blood heat for a moment...before taking a breath, “...but, yeah. I can see, from my end of it, how this is all a good thing. And...I’m just really happy for you, ‘Kichi...I hope it lasts.”

“Aiichi’s kind of a weirdo. I don’t think most people really understand him at all,” Kokichi remarked with a little laugh before he sighed, looking at the floor in regret. “And I think you’re right. From some of the stuff he said...I get the impression that I might’ve been able to do more for...a long time, if I’d just asked. I just...got so used to being shut down when I was little that after a while I just...stopped asking. Stopped expressing any sort of desire for anything but what I knew was already allowed.”

He sighed a little deeper, scoffing at himself. “...what a stupid self-fulfilling prophesy. I stopped asking, so I never got to hear when that answer turned into a yes. I stopped wanting, so no one went to bat on my behalf to hear that yes either. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d actually gotten caught sneaking out before, but people thought it was just me being weird so they never said anything. Just thought I preferred leaving the castle that way.”

“...I feel like such a moron…” Kokichi pressed his hand over his face, just hiding in his sleeve for a moment before dropping his hand with a deep breath, trying to remain relatively steady with his emotions. “But...yeah. It’s settled now. And it’s still frustrating and still hurts but...I can’t let that stop me from enjoying things now. Just...something for me to work on.”

With a half-joking smile, Kokichi nudged Kaito a bit. “Think it’d be too much of a conflict of interest if I asked Dr. Ford to be my therapist too?”

Kaito thought of the bathroom and frowned. “Uh...mm…”

Well...that was a weird feeling? Dr. Ford...talking to him through the door had been...just a little weird and uncomfortable for Kaito, but otherwise okay. But thinking of that happening to Kokichi? Holy shit. Immediate...immediate anger…

...huh...weird…

...that was going to be a strange one to put into the feeling journal. Um. Maybe he shouldn’t put that one in at all. Probably better to not think about it either way.

“...I think you and Dr. Ford have different senses of humor?” Kaito decided on, not sure if he was actually dodging the subject or not. It was kinda true? It had kinda been funny. Kaito had laughed. He hadn’t felt...bad. Just...weird. It had been a weird, funny situation. And...he felt like it would be a different thing entirely for Kokichi. Scarier. He didn’t want Kokichi to be scared. So… “What about that one guy with the shitty beard? The one who was really scared of me? I bet he’d be a good therapist to you. He seemed nice. Just skittish, ya know?”

“And you’re not a moron.” Kaito said determinedly, looking down to give a hard look at Kokichi. “You were a kid. You grew up in all this...what? You were supposed to just know on your own how to be an adult, when no one told you how to do anything? Taught you to expect nothing? And one day everyone’s just looking at you like, ‘hey, why are you so weird? Don’t you know how to be a person yet? Don’t you know how to be the thing we all actively worked to keep you from being??’” Kaito scoffed, feeling bile in the back of his tongue, feeling a sting in the back of his eyes, just so...angry...on Kokichi’s behalf… “That’s...fucking bullshit...you had so many people older then you and wiser then you who loved you and...fuck!” 

Kaito clenched both fists and stopped, staring at the ground a little. Breath...be mindful...you’re angry. You’re angry at the staff again. You’re not supposed to be angry at the staff. You...control your reaction. Your anger isn’t Kokichi’s problem. Not his burden. Just...breathe…

Taking a breath, Kaito unclenched his fists, “...sorry...I just...it’s so hard...coming here and seeing all these people happy and...content and…fuck…” Kaito closed his eyes, an overwhelmed, furious tear falling, wanting to scream, punch a fucking wall… ”and out of everyone here...the only person I was sent to get along with was just...you were falling apart Kokichi and...I don’t know how to help you…”

Kaito put his hand over his eye and growled, upset with himself. Stop it! Stop it! You are meant to be spending time with your husband! Stop being a burden! Pull it together!

...taking another breath, he lowered his hand and grinned down at his husband, “I’m just...really glad you’re doing better now. That it’s better now.”

Dr. Ford had seemed nothing but just...warm and welcoming when they’d met but...well, a meeting was different from actual conversation, especially when therapy went into difficult subjects. But...he...should go to therapy. At least see if there was anything he could get out of it. Maybe...better coping methods for when he felt suicidal so it wouldn’t build into huge meltdowns that terrified the people around him. 

...yeah.

Kokichi sighed softly again, but looked up in slight surprise as Kaito defended him to...him. And while he had a point--...he had been a child and...maybe things would’ve been different if Ikuo had still been there. There was no doubt in his mind that his dad would’ve encouraged him to get out more. But...someone else should’ve taken up that role. Instead...they’d all just accepted him at his word. Which...yeah...they should’ve been able to, but...gaaaaah!!! He didn’t know?!

“Kai-chan?”

Kokichi knew Kaito was struggling but...maybe he wasn’t doing enough either. Just because Kaito was working with his therapist didn’t mean that he was good to go--a good support system was worth so much more than that. 

Taking Kaito’s hand, Kokichi kissed against his knuckles and then his wrist. “...you’ve helped me a lot already, Kai-chan. I know without a doubt I’d be worse off if I’d never met you.”

Stopping in the hall, Kokichi looked around with a small hum before looking up at Kaito. “...If you don’t mind me asking, what are some outlets you’ve decided on to take your anger out on? We can explore the castle any time, but...like, we could get some of the guard training equipment? I’m absolutely sure they have a punching bag, if you think that would help.”

Kaito got a little nervous at this. He was vaguely worried that if he talked about his therapy stuff or how he was dealing with everything, Kokichi wouldn’t approve. He didn’t really know what was okay and what wasn’t. Ever. Always. All the time. All the time. All the time…

(...it’s not like he had known what was going on at home either.)

(He didn’t know where would make him feel better.)

(Maybe he just wasn’t ever going to feel better?)

...Kaito shrugged. “I pray a lot. Dr. Ford said that was probably just me practicing mindfulness on my own time. Have I told you about the mindfulness stuff? It makes a lot of sense...um, I used to spar to help with all that, but...I don’t really have any sparring partners right now. Or, I mean, I could spar Maki, but…”

-the sounds of electricity-

“...I just haven't felt like it since our conversation on the beach. Maybe I’m just not as into sparring as I used to be, now that I’ve had a break from it, you know? I don’t know. I like praying best.” Kaito said honestly, smiling softly as he thought about Atua, enjoying that clear sense of peace and understanding he got from it. He didn’t get politics or the upcoming famine or Dicea morality or despair pollen, but Atua? He understood Atua. It was simple. He wished everything was as simple. “I feel like I get clarity. Whether that’s Auta or just like Dr. Ford said, me kinda...practicing looking at my own thoughts and feelings? I don’t know. But it makes me feel better.”

“And you! I like spending time with you!” Kaito said, grinning at Kokichi earnestly. “I think you and I hid in your room for a month for a reason, ‘Kichi. It’s peaceful, when it’s just us. I mean, sure, I still get angry talking about stuff, but it’s not that...out of control anger. I keep it together because I know you’re watching and I want to keep it together for you, ya know? I don’t want you to be afraid of me…”

“As for other outlets...a punching bag does sound fun. I’d love to hit a punching bag with you, just to see my little husband try to hit one with all his might! I bet you’d be better at it then people would expect!” Kaito bragged, already excited by the idea...before smirking, “But, other physical stuff...I don’t know. I have other physical stuff I like to spend myself on…” Kaito said, winking at Kokichi a little..before rolling his eyes. “Too much so. Poor Shuichi. I just wasn’t taking a hint last night, ‘Kichi. It was stupid. Shuichi actually had to yell at me before I caught on that he really, genuinely didn’t want me pawing at him. Ugh…”

Kokichi nodded, listening with rapt attention. The things that made Kaito feel better. Praying was kind of an obvious one, and Kaito had been spending a good chunk of time in his shrine lately, so that tracked. Or, maybe it was just the usual amount of time Kaito spent praying, and he just hadn’t been able to do it before. He knew Aiichi was still talking with people about a temple for Atua. Maybe being with others in the faith would be something that brought Kaito peace too?

And sparring… Kokichi hummed softly. “I’m sure Lake-chan and Katsuki-chan and, hell, even my dad would enjoy sparring with you. If you ever feel like it again, and Maki-chan’s busy? It couldn’t hurt to ask them, I bet.”

And...him? Kokichi blushed a bit though the flattery faded quickly. He only got to murmur a, “I’m not afraid of you, hun…” before Kaito moved on, but… He didn’t know. It didn’t feel like Kaito stifling his feelings when they were together was a good thing. But when it came to raging anger...flying into a violent rage was kind of a good thing to be able to suppress, right? 

...he didn’t know. 

A punching bag they could do, as he suggested, and the “other stuff” Kokichi just rolled his eyes a bit at though he grinned at Kaito...before sighing, giving Kaito a sympathetic look. “Ah...I get why you didn’t wanna tell me that in front of my dad. Shuu-chan will appreciate the gift, though. He knows how much you love him--Kai-chan can just get over-excited sometimes.”

On that note, though...there had been something Kokichi wanted to talk to his husband about. Had been wanting to for a little bit, but… Looking around the hall, Kokichi tugged on his hair a little. “Actually… On that note...um…”

“...are we okay?” Kokichi looked up at Kaito, a little uncertainty and a little concern there. “...for the past few nights, I...dunno. Wanted to ask if you wanted to do something, but you were always busy… I don’t want to pressure you into anything so… If you weren’t interested in...you know…”

“...having sex with me anymore…”

Kaito stared wide eyed down at his husband for a moment…

Before snickering.

It was mean snicker. Definitely laughing at Kokichi, which was why Kaito immediately looked guilty, putting a hand over his mouth and swallowing his amusement and incredulous disbelief down. It was just...such a strange thing to say… “What?” he asked, the amusement still in his voice as he raised an eyebrow down at Kokichi, genuinely asking, “Are you serious?”

Kokichi felt his face heat up, some part of him knowing that he was being silly but another part shouting louder and just...sneering that, really? Kokichi? It’s so absurd that Kaito liked you for even a little bit, and now you have the audacity to even bring it up and he’s just laughing at this ridiculous tiny child for thinking he could ever satisfy him…

Hunching into himself, hurt by that shouting voice, Kokichi just shrugged a little. “...you always come back to bed after I’m asleep… I just...if you were doing it on purpose...I thought I’d ask…”

Kaito continued to stare down at his husband...before that same, bewildered laugh escaped him. Just...what??? Seriously??? How could...Kaito was practically throwing himself at Shuichi, just to ease the sheer need...wasn’t it obvious???? Couldn’t Kokichi tell how….!?????

Kaito saw the way Kokichi seemed to shrink into himself, to pull himself away from him a little, hurt and...was just so baffled because god couldn’t Kokichi feel the sheer heat radiating off of him around him all the time and….

He was almost angry. Not quite...not really...but almost. And that was maybe where Kaito got the nerve afters holding himself back for over THREE WEEKS NOW to push Kokichi against the wall, not honestly giving a shit if anyone came down the hallway or not, as he stared down at him with fiery, lustful eyes as he practically growled-

“Are you kidding? Are you serious? How...I am constantly keeping myself from touching you. Grabbing you...I want you all the time, ‘Kichi…” 

Kaito put his hand, bound with his husband's scar, with his oath to him, against Kokichi’s cheek, gently, but firmly, tipping his face up, wanting to look down at him...beautiful...ethereal...literally divine...and said, “It’s all I can do. I don’t understand...can’t you feel it? Radiating off me? It’s so physical to me...like this fog I’m in all the time, how badly I want you...you really can’t tell? How??”

Kaito stared down at him, so...genuinely baffled. So convinced it was as obvious as the sun, that anyone could see it at a glance, the sheer need Kaito had for Kokichi...but he swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment, collecting himself.

“...I don’t...want to scare you...or make you feel like just something I’m...playing with. I don’t want to be the person I was to you when we first got together so…” Kaito forced himself to relax. Telling himself to stop leaning against the wall. Give your husband room to move. He’s small. You need to give him the space to reject you…

...but he was right here...Kaito had him right here…

... he thought you were looking at him as a sex toy…

...you shoved a cock in his throat while he was sleeping…

GIVE HIM ROOM KAITO!

Kaito backed away from the wall, opening up space for Kokichi to go anywhere, feeling ashamed of himself. He swallowed hard again and rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepishly somewhere just to the left of Kokichi’s eyesight as he said, “...so I just...don’t want to push you anymore. I’m sorry if that’s confusing. I just...I flirt with you and you never...you’ve been through a lot lately Kokichi. I don’t expect you to just...put all that aside just because I’m feeling...I don’t want to push…”

Kaito sighed, tired and frustrated and, “...I don’t want to hurt you, ‘Kichi. And sometimes I worry that...I will…”

Kokichi’s eyes widened as Kaito pushed him up against the wall, staring up at him with blatant surprise, since he’d been about to curl into himself further when Kaito laughed. ...that reasonable part of him that had been drowned out by the yelling knew that Kaito still liked him, but he hadn’t… The utter need coming from Kaito, different from Shuuichi’s need, this one more...like a need of the soul, more than just something physical…

Kokichi let go of a breath, a small, desperate laugh coming from him this time. “Kai-chan...I’ve wanted to ask you, like...every night for the past week? If you wanted to do something? Make out for a bit, bend me over our bed, fuck in the shower…”

A small blush rose to his cheeks but Kokichi stepped forward, resuming that closeness with his husband, taking his hand with the scar and kissing it. “...asking me isn’t pushing. And...I really appreciate that you’ve been thinking about me. It…”

His smile faded a bit, some of that faraway look he sometimes got coming into his eyes. “...I know it’s not healthy to...grieve forever. I’m trying to move forward. Sometimes it’s harder and...I know it’s hard for you guys to see. I can’t tell you all enough how thankful I am...especially you, Kai-chan. With just...how supportive? And considerate and kind and protective and...everything that makes Kai-chan Kai-chan...you make it easier to move forward. To find reasons to smile when I want to cry.”

Kokichi kissed Kaito’s scar again, looking back up at him with pure devotion and admiration and love in his eyes. “...I believe that you won’t hurt me. Or, that if you do? Then we can work past it. Because you don’t want to hurt me. And that desire to be a good person...I really love Kai-chan for it.”

Kaito stared down desperately at Kokichi, his heart breaking at the little kiss to his wrist, “...you really don’t know what you do to me.” Kaito realized, just, still...so baffled by this.

Fuck, any calm he had gotten with masturbating at Dr. Fords was long gone now, Kaito more then riled up by the knowledge that his husband had wanted him this whole fucking time...why hadn’t he responded to any of Kaito’s flirting?! Did he just think he flirted for no reason!? Kaito was constantly trying to incite his interest! Literally all the time! Could he have been more obvious!?

Well, maybe that was the problem? Just...wanting to sleep with Kokichi all the time led him to flirting all the time...maybe his husband just thought that was how Kaito was? That there wasn’t any purpose behind it for him. That he didn’t mean it as he said it?

…

“I don’t want to hurt you, Kokichi...I’m your husband...I’m sworn to you...I don’t want you to have to ‘work past’ anything I do to you. I wanna make you happy...I want my ‘Kichi to always be happy…” Kaito murmured, putting his hand back under Kokichi’s chin, lifting his head up, just...entranced… leaning in as he said, “My prince…”

Kaito pulled Kokichi into a kiss, again, just...entirely forgetting where they were. Some random, weirdly low-ceiling side hallway? He literally had no idea where in the castle he actually was. Or if some random housekeeper could turn the corner any second to see Kaito looming over Kokichi, gently, hungrily, pushing him towards the wall again, against it, kissing him deeply and just wanting him so badly…

His hands started to wander, going down to his shoulders and pinning him to the wall for a moment, before heading down, snaking behind his back and pulling his waist in against Kaito’s, pressing into him as Kaito finally, finally got to taste his husband again. Hearing that little gasp of breaths again, the wet sound of their kisses echoing in the space of the hall.

Intoxicating.

“And I don’t want you to feel like...you’re on an alien planet… I want my Kai-chan to be happy… So we work for that,” Kokichi murmured against his husband’s lips before letting himself commit to the kiss. He carded his fingers through the side of Kaito’s hair, gently letting his nails scratch to the nape of his neck while his other hand rested on Kaito’s shoulder, massaging the muscle a bit. 

He stepped back to the wall willingly, pulling Kaito in closer as they kissed, some part of him endlessly relieved and realizing how much he had missed this. Kaito carefully breathing him in, leaving him gasping and leaning back in for more, dancing with their tongues and somehow managing to keep their teeth from clicking together. 

And, well, Kokichi was only a human with a sex drive. After...what? Two weeks without sex, without more than cuddling and kisses (though Shuuichi’s kisses had been very nice) even if there was a good chunk where he definitely hadn’t been up for anything…

Pulling away just enough to speak, a small web of spit still connecting their lips, Kokichi breathed, “...so can I take this as a yes? We’re not far from our room…”

Kaito smirked, pulling him back into another kiss, once, again. “..thought you were gonna show me your office, boss…” Kaito breathed into Kokichi’s ear, taking the bottom earlobe gently between his lips, warming it, before kissing at the skin just at the base of it. “...got yourself a comfortable couch and everything...wouldn’t it be nice to know it can hold our lover safely...stand up to a little rough treatment?” he teased, kissing the spot again.

Kokichi flushed, shivering a little as Kaito blew against his ear, somewhere between ticklish and turned on. When they’d been talking about his father’s office, it had been...less than desirable. And in the Nanamis’ home, there was no way he wanted to do anything anywhere but the bedroom, but...the way it had affected Kaito… 

...and he couldn’t lie, the little fantasy Kaito had told about helping him relax after a day of work…

...the office had a lock. 

Flushing a little more, Kokichi turned to kiss at the area just below Kaito’s jaw before pushing gently at his shoulders. “...we’re getting a towel to not make a mess. And I think I’d be a little worried if Shuu-chan taking a nap was considered rough treatment, even if his ass could kill a man.”

Giggling softly, Kokichi took Kaito’s hand, the path to his office back in mind with renewed purpose. But...they’d make a stop at a supply closet first. 

Kaito snickered some more, grinning wide with excitement as he followed Kokichi’s lead, saying, “Always so responsible. I love that about you, babe.”

“Oh, and there’s things I gotta tell ya about Shuichi.” Kaito said, lowering his voice as they got further down the hallway, not wanting to embarrass either his husband or his boyfriend by being overheard, but still just entirely caught up in all this, already feeling his nerves tingle and his gut rolling in anticipation. “Things you gotta try, babe. His backside just envelopes you...oh! But I also discovered some more ‘don’t do’ things with him too. Like, if you’re ever licking his dick, you might notice his- Hi!” Kaito said, immediately standing up straighter, a flush burning his face as they turned the corner. “Good afternoon!”

Kirumi, standing in front of the supply closet, refilling her cart, gave the two prince’s a mild, genuinely surprised look, caught off guard...before nodding her head, curtseying slightly to them both as she said, “Good Afternoon, Prince Kaito. Kokichi. I hope your day is going well. Were you looking for me?”

Considering both of their somewhat hurried, flushed expressions, Kirumi’s eyebrows furrowed slightly in concern. “Are you both alright? You look like you’ve been running.”

More just because he’d be mortified if they got cum anywhere. Not that he was really worried about Kaito’s since Kokichi would just wait until he got to a bathroom to--aw shit they didn’t have any lube. Fuck. He didn’t want to assume Kaito would be down with eating him out again, so...damnit. Well, there was enough to do that they didn’t need lube for. More reason for a towel. 

Kokichi looked up at Kaito, endeared with his excitement with sharing sex tips with their boyfriend, feeling giddy by it, though he snorted a bit at what Kaito brought up. He was well-aware how Shuuichi’s ass could just swallow a cock. That’s why they’d needed both of them, after all. It was...kind of envy-inducing, honestly. He knew it was from the spores making Shuuichi’s body easier to have sex with but...he was easy to have sex with! Didn’t have to worry about easing him open, didn’t have to worry about tearing or if it was going to feel good…

No. Just had to be aware of the tons and tons of emotional trauma. So...Kokichi wasn’t that envious. And as long as Shuuichi was happy and healthy, he’d be happy.

With rosy cheeks, Kokichi listened to Kaito’s tips but stood to full attention when they bumped into...oh come on…

“Hi, Kirumi-chan! Would you believe this is coincidence?” he laughed lightly. “No, I was just about to show Kai-chan my new office! We were just stopping by over here to grab a towel--I haven’t heard if people have finished everything, so I wanted to have something to wipe our shoes with before we go in so we don’t track anything in or out.”

Weird, but plausible. No reason not to buy it.

Kaito was well aware (or at the very least strongly suspected) that Kirumi didn’t like him very much, and just grinned and nodded along with Kokichi, not daring to risk adding in anything else himself that might cause her to...well, he wasn’t actually sure. Do some ‘Kirumi’ thing. The housekeeper could just, get, really pushy.

But Kirumi just considered the smaller prince for a moment, before nodding. “Of course, Kokichi. Here, take this one. I just brought it up from the laundry, it’s fresh. Though, please be aware that I am more than happy to clean up the office myself later if there’s any issues from the setup.” she assured the prince, passing him the towel.

Ugh. They’d have to make double sure that they didn’t leave anything behind then. The last thing they needed was Kirumi butting into their sex life. Kaito wasn’t certain why, but he was half convinced Kirumi would be shocked at the idea that Kokichi was even having sex yet. She really seemed to be struggling to comprehend that the prince wasn’t the same, constantly fussed over little boy that she had briefly felt responsible for and then left behind for the war.

Which was odd. She clearly genuinely liked Kokichi. Even Kaito could see that, based on how she treated people she didn’t like (all the Luminaries. Again. She wasn’t subtle.). She clearly respected him as her prince as well. She was polite to a fault. And constantly putting his needs at the front of her mind.

And just...still treating him like he was twelve...like some misbehaving kid who was going to throw himself down the stairs just to prove he’d be fine hitting the bottom. It was so strange the contrast in her, between her respect for Kokichi and her entire certainty that he’d fall apart without the old restrictions he used to be bound by.

Kaito planned to have a serious argument with her about it, at some point. He just...really needed to wait for a moment where she was obviously overstepping Kokichi’s boundaries. Then Kaito could properly tell her off. And he would. He didn’t care what this woman who made him weirdly nervous did to him, and Maki and Shuichi could take care of themselves, in regards to her. But Kokichi? Kaito was ready to use some of that Luminary ‘elitism’ to his advantage, if that was what it took.

But, that was all unimportant, right now. Right now, Kaito really, really wanted to fuck his husband, and just grinned wider as he said, “Thanks, Miss Toujou!”

Kirumi narrowed her eyes at him slightly, suspicious now...but nodding. “Of course. You’re quite welcome.”

Oh god please don’t come to the office after they were done. Okay. They were going to clean it up the best they could, then crack a window. No smells, no stains, no evidence. 

Taking the towel from the older woman, Kokichi gave her a grateful smile, adding on with Kaito’s thanks. “Thanks, Kirumi-chan. I just wanna be careful--easier to just not make a mess than clean one up, right? If I don’t see you at dinner, have a great rest of your day!”

Nudging Kaito along in the direction of his office, Kokichi was mostly eager to finally touch Kaito again...but...also a little worried that Kirumi would...find some other old, outdated rule that he’d…

...he could stand up for himself this time. She had no ground to get physical with him so...he didn’t have to be afraid of that. Of being humiliated in front of people he loved and respected. 

He did want to talk with her about that...but not when he was horny and about to get laid.

Ha! God, Kaito almost wanted to look back and stick his tongue out at her. See that? See how much power over him you actually have, you weird control freak maid? 

Mine.

...Kaito almost rolled his eyes at himself, feeling competitive with the damn housekeeper, but whatever. He also low key wanted to fight a toy rabbit, so his sources of jealousy and possessiveness weren't always coming from the most rational places. So sue him.

Thank god it wasn’t long before they got to his office. The two snickering to each other, they got inside, and Kaito was almost visibly relieved to see that unlike their bedroom, this room actually had a lock. Fuck yeah. Kaito couldn’t have turned that lock any faster than he had, immediately locking the door behind him, before turning back to Kokichi, taking a quick look around before his eyes hungrily could only focus on his husband, moving quickly towards him.

The office was beautiful, actually. Much nicer then Kaito had been picturing. The room the staff had picked had plenty of space for the four desks, but wasn’t so outrageously big that it felt hollow and empty. The desks were nice, sturdy oak wood, each one slightly different to give a sense of individualism, but not so fancy as to be almost wasteful in their design. Practical, but sociable, was maybe the way to think of it. And the colors of the room were all warm, but professional. There was also a large, wide window over at the far wall, but the glass was slightly sheered, clearly intending to let in plenty of light, but without being overly distracting or able to see through clearly, without opening it up to let the world in. Clearly some sort of designer had been allowed to help pick the furniture and colors of the room, but likely had been cautioned to hold back in respect to Kokichi’s own sense of restraint when it came to self-grandeur. 

Kaito loved it. It was warm, friendly and professional. It was the kind of place he felt reassured to know both his lovers could comfortably work in. 

And the couch looked exceptionally fuckable.

Which made sense. When Kokichi had made the request for the couch, he had likely hinted that he hoped it would be comfortable to sleep on for someone who was struggling with back pain right now. That was just how his husband was. And Shuichi probably would rest comfortably on it, in between long bouts of research into pumpkin field crop yields in years past...and Kaito hoped it’d make their lover laugh, later, when Kaito told him about his two lovers cheerfully ‘breaking it in’ for him.

But that would come later. First, as Kaito recaptured Kokichi, bringing him into his hold and leaning in to kiss at him more, his hands now wandering to some more overly dangerous places, he broke the kiss for a second to look around, before asking, a smirk on his face again, “...so, which ones yours?”

Aiichi’s office had never been a hostile room, and, to be honest, Kokichi would probably have an office, or at least a greeting area on the first floor when he became leader, but the office on the third floor was...really nice. A breath of fresh air. A room where he could work that wasn’t drenched in memories of helplessness and stress… Someplace new that he hoped to fill with similarly bright memories, he, Shuuichi, and Nadya making it their own, though he didn’t doubt Kaito and Maki and maybe even Tim and Chase would be frequent visitors. And maybe if he could entice Kaito into more letters, he’d be more than a visitor too. 

Not that he was really a visitor right now. 

Kokichi giggled into the kiss, feeling at ease with the lock and misted windows, holding the towel in one hand while he held Kaito with the other. He didn’t want to make fucking in the office a regular thing, not when there was someone he wasn’t romantically involved with working there, but right now...it felt fun. 

Rolling his eyes a little, Kokichi nipped at Kaito’s lips. “Dunno yet. ‘M letting Nadya-chan pick first tomorrow. So...no, I’m not gonna bend over a desk that might not even be mine. And if we’d do it at Shuuichi’s, I’d at least want his permission first. Or to have him on top of it.”

“Okay, okay, counter argument? We bend you over all the desks, and just tell them we triple checked and, mmm, yep. All defective. All have to be replaced immediately.” Kaito offered, chuckling at Kokichi’s look, before shaking his head, “Fine, fine. No desks. Such a tyrant...that’s fine. There’s been a position I’ve been wanting to try with you since I broke my arm anyway. No desks needed! No...oh, fuck, lube.” 

Kaito groaned, resting his forehead on Kkichi’s shoulders, laughing at himself as he said, “I keep forgetting the fucking lube. Agh! I literally tried to convince myself I could take Shuichi’s dick basically dry because I did that my last time with him too. Auuugh…”Kaito chuckled again, before putting his arms beneath Kokichi’s backside and, in one swift motion, picking him up, kissing up at him as he moved them towards the couch. “Fuck it. I’m buying miniature lube packs from Seiko next time at her pharmacy. I just have to be the kind of freak that carries around lube on him all the time now. It’s the only way Kokichi. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

Putting Kokichi on the top part of the couch, sitting his husband’s back against the wall, Kaito knelt on the bottom half, sitting part of the couch, placing himself between Kokichi’s legs as he immediately took off his own shirt, rolling his shoulders a little a he tossed the shirt aside, before reaching forward to take Kokichi’s shirt off…

...auuuuuuuugh, “Boundaries talk, boundaries talk now! Shit. Okay, I wasn’t entirely upfront with Shuichi last time what I was gonna do before I did it and he ended up kicking me off himself, so...fuck, gotta keep having the boundaries talk. It’s important. Fuck. Okay.” Kaito growled, closing his eyes, resting his head on one of Kokichi’s knees, before looking up at his husband. “Okay, so...shit, I wanna take off all your clothes and blow you a bit and then fuck you standing up. Maybe shove you against a wall if I get tired. Is any of that, I don’t know, gonna hurt you? Is there anything new you don’t want me to do, or even try? Anything you’d rather do instead, babe? I’m all yours, but also, talk fast, because fuck I want you soon.” Kaito whined, reaching out to run his hands under Kokichi’s shirt, looking entirely put out that he had to stop and wait at all.

Kokichi snorted a bit at Kaito’s recount of his last lube-less foray. “Hun, that would’ve killed you. I’m not even convinced that all the lube in the world can keep Shuu-chan’s dick from killing you, but at least you can give it a shot.” He sighed, clearly lamenting the severely incompatible size difference between himself and their boyfriend. 

When he was scooped up, Kokichi put his legs around Kaito’s waist, squeezing slightly, rubbing one knee up and down as they kissed. And...honestly, Kaito carrying around lube wasn’t the worst idea. There weren’t a lot of other places Kokichi would be comfortable having sex, but maybe there were for Shuuichi. And, hell, they were even in their room and had to make do once. 

...Kokichi still felt guilty about that. Even more with his feelings for Shuuichi solidified. But...by being better lovers, better friends, they could make it up to him. 

And going over boundaries was a good part of that. 

Chuckling at Kaito’s eagerness, he ran a hand lovingly through his hair. “That sounds awesome. I’d assume this is part of fucking me, but please open me up first. It’s been so long...I’m gonna be tight again. And in that position...I guess I’ll sit on the towel. And, um…” Kokichi looked around, his cheeks flushing from more than just arousal. “I guess...I don’t want you to pin my arms or my hips or anything like that. I wanna be able to touch you too.”

“We good?”

Once again, Kaito felt a hot shot of shame as Kokichi meekly asked him not to do something that Kaito had just done to him mindlessly since their very first time together. Nodding, Kaito kissed at Kokichi’s legs, promising him, “No pinning, ‘Kichi. Got it. And I’m good, yeah. You’ve never so much as grazed my boundaries...oh! Um.”

Kaito almost didn’t bring it up...he was embarrassed. It had been something that had been on his mind lately, and...ugh…

“Hey, uh, babe...you know you can...look, I was a real jealous, possessive...I can be a real...ugh.” Kaito flushed, knocking his forehead into the hard part of Kokichi’s knee, before furrowing his brow and looking up at Kokichi, entirely serious. “Me telling you when we first started having sex that you touching yourself was a bad thing? Or, I don’t know...forbidden or something? That was me being an asshole. You don’t have to wait for me to decide to get you off. You can touch yourself, get ahead of me all you want...I...I’m sorry that I ever put that shit in your head in the first place. I want to say it started off just me being playful, but... you were new to sex and weren’t comfortable telling me to fuck off then and...that’s not a normal thing, you not being ‘allowed’,” Kaito said, rolling his eyes at his own bullshit, “to touch yourself during sex. That’s not how everyone does it. That was just me being...possessive.”

“So...as far as boundaries go? That’s not a real boundary. That was just your boar of a husband being a dick.” Kaito told him, leaning into Kokichi’s touch against his hair, looking genuinely shame-faced as he said, “Okay? It’s not a real thing...I’m sorry…”

Kokichi hadn’t strayed from love once, but his expression only softened further as Kaito went into something that...they’d never really talked about. Bending over, he placed a kiss on Kaito’s forehead before giving him a gentle smile. “...thank you. I think… I just feel bad when you focus on me so much, and I’m on the edge, but, like...you’ve barely gotten anything. It...makes me feel like I’m not good enough for you…”

He sighed softly, that almost constant insecurity drawing his gaze down and away. “So...if I touched myself too, it’d just finish me off even faster and I’d just leave you hanging. I wouldn’t want to, but...I get so tired after sex…”

“I just want you to enjoy everything as much as I do. So it’s not like you’re putting in so much effort and care and I’m just...there. Not giving back. Not making it good for you…” Looking back at Kaito, Kokichi traced his thumb along the shell of Kaito’s ear. “I just want to be good to you, sweets.”

Kaito didn’t really know how to express to Kokichi how good the man made him feel. How…

...it still wasn’t a good thing, everything Kaito did, this past month...two months? Time was flying. It wasn’t a good thing, the way Kaito had been treating Kokichi, some things more obviously bad then others. The rapes, of course, being...god, he was never going to forgive himself...but also, the little things. The pinnings, the control, the way Kaito just played around with his husband, convincing himself it was fine because he’d always ask Kokichi how he felt, while fully aware from personal experience how overwhelming and frightening sex with someone in a stronger position then yourself could be, how hard it was to speak up, even when given the ‘oppurtunity’ too...so no. What he had done would never be a ‘good’ thing, and Kaito was becoming more and more aware of it the more and more distance he got from the events, looking back at them with more clarity then he had felt while he was in the moment.

...but…

It had been so reassuring, sleeping with Kokichi. So damn reassuring for every single awful reason. Kaito had just been sent away from his home, which he had grown up in disgraced. The crazy, Atua-raving second Momota son, not even in line for the throne anymore...then sent away to marry into a life-long enemy kingdom, escorted by the man who had made Kaito feel small and dumb and worthless with an ease and practice that no one else in Kaito’s life could ever even come close too and…

...it had been so nice, having that stupid, small bit of power over someone. Sleeping with Kokichi had been the only thing he hadn’t had to fake being confident about for the first time in a year, since he had been told he was being (sold) sent. He had just...he had finally felt like he had control over something...even if all he had control over was making this strange new person he was suddenly sworn too and who Kaito hadn’t understood at all just...feel good for an hour every couple of days. He might not understand his new husbands kingdom or his politics or his morals or his problems! But fuck! He understood how to make someone cum, and!...and yeah…

...yeah. There was no good way to explain to Kokichi how badly Kaito had needed that small bit of control and self-confidence, in that moment. 

...but! But! He didn’t need it anymore, right? New coping techniques! That’s what he was supposed to be finding! Coping techniques that didn’t include pseudo-controlling his husband while they slept together! And...and he wasn’t going to make his fears and insecurities Kokichi’s burden. He just wanted to have fun with his husband. Just love him. He’d...he’d work out everything else on his own.

So Kaito grinned up at Kokichi, and reached up, pulling Kokichi down to kiss at him, capturing his bottom lip, a moment of calm as Kaito just tried to portray to him how much he loved him in the kiss. How happy he was with him. Before finally breaking it and smiling up at him. “I always feel good with you, Kokichi. You’re my small, ethereal husband...I can’t get over how lucky I am, every time I’m with you. I love you so much.”

And then Kaito reached for Kokichi’s shirt, and once again whined, “Now can I pleeease get you naked!? I miss my ‘Kichi’s cute-ass body! Do you still have any freckles from the beach? I was promised freckles, damn it! I want to kiss every single one of them.” Kaito swore, leaning forward and kissing at Kokichi’s stomach through his shirt.

Kokichi’s smile returned at that kiss, for a moment just touching their noses together as they parted. “I love you too, Kai-chan. I’m grateful for every day we have together.” 

He still wanted to do more. To actually act to make Kaito feel good. To draw out his sweet noises and make him blush and breathe heavy and laugh in that way that made Kokichi knew that he was getting close. But...it was still nice to hear that he enjoyed himself. 

Laughing, Kokichi started pulling his shirt off to match his husband, any remaining bruises faded and barely there, really. Same with the rope burns. And, luckily for Kaito, there was still a dusting of light freckles across Kokichi’s shoulders--same with the bridge of his nose and around his knees, but Kaito would find the latter later. 

“Okay, okay! I can understand your impatience, though--we’ll have to wait until spring probably before I can get any more. Though...there are plenty of things about fall and winter I’m excited for too. Especially Kai-chan’s birthday, if I can actually get one of you guys to tell me when it is,” Kokichi winked. “Birthdays aren’t usually much of a big deal, but for your first one here? I wanna make it special.”

“Oh, right, that’s coming up, isn’t it...I’ll be twenty-three!” Kaito said cheerfully, watching eagerly as Kokichi got rid of his shirt, before Kaito started working on Kokichi’s shoes, pulling them off and tossing them aside one be one, kicking his own off as he did so. “It’s a week after the start of mid-fall.” Kaito explained, taking off his own pants, kicking them off, feeling entirely comfortable in his nude state as the underwear came off with his pants. Hey! The fabric of the couch felt nice against his legs. Awesome.

“Back home, we called that Atua’s week. It’s the only time of year you can see his star in the sky. Obviously, it’s a whole week, so it’s not crazy unusual to be born under his star, but...but it was something my mentor loved to point out. Her child of Atua…” Kaito smiled warmly in affection for his old mentor...and because Atuans were kinda crazy like that, thought nothing of it to immediately move on from that sweet, sentimental thought  to putting his teeth around Kokichi’s pants button, pulling it open with his teeth before starting to tug his husbands pants down.

“Oh, that’s soon…” Kokichi murmured, quickly moving to lay the towel out under him before they got too excited and forgot. He’d known that Kaito’s birthday was coming up since he’d mentioned it before, but that was...sooner than he’d thought. “Gotta get movin’ on preparations, then. And I know some stuff to recommend, but...if there are any dishes you really like from home, I’m sure we can find recipes for ‘em. The kitchen staff usually make a person’s favorite foods for dinner on their birthday.”

Kokichi stretched from side to side, pulling off his socks, feeling a bit weird to wear them when he wasn’t gonna be wearing anything else. And it gave him the position to place kisses around Kaito’s chest, still tanned from the beach too. 

Atua’s week, huh? He didn’t know if there were any special...rituals or celebrations held in Luminary at that time, but… “We should finally spend our night in the observatory then. You could show me his star, and any other super cool space stuff that I’m sure you could talk about for hours. We could get some drinks, stay up late, look at the stars through the telescope and observation window…”

Kokichi laughed softly, pleased by that thought but also how Kaito was choosing to rid him of his pants. Bracing against the back of the couch, he lifted his hips to help, tugging down his underwear too.

“Oh, yeah, definitely! I just need one night that week to get, uh, high as balls, really, but literally any other night would be perfect for hanging out in the observatory...shoot, right, I gotta work out how I’m gonna do that.” Kaito frowned, tossing Kokichi’s pants aside now, the two of them literally sounded by their clothes hanging off the random places Kaito had thrown them as he thought about it, “Usually a priestess would provide us with everything we need...and I gotta see if I can get enough for me, Maki, Shuichi...not Tim yet. And they may not even want to do it...oh well. I’ll have it ready just in case. I bet if I explained the effect it’s supposed to have, Seiko could make an equivalent to the herbs we smoke for the rituals. It’ll be fine. I can get it all done in time...and if not, Atua won’t mind. He loves us.” 

Looking up at Kokichi in concern for a moment, Kaito said, “I’d...I mean, of course you’re invited, beautiful, if you wanted to join me in a ritual, but...they’re blood rituals and I’d totally understand you not wanting to be anywhere near that. Totally fine. Again, Atua loves you anyway. No one’s left behind.” Kaito promised, knowing that wasn’t as reassuring to Kokichi as it was to Kaito, but...well, it really was a relief. Most people Kaito knew weren’t true believers of Atua, even if they did all the steps and said all the words. He found a lot of peace, knowing they’d still be taken care of in their afterlife, regardless.

Kaito grinned wide, seeing Kokichi’s cute, chubby cock again, limp and waiting for him. Kaito kissed at Kokichi’s thighs now, slowing his pace, taking his time now. He had him. Kokichi was here. Kaito didn’t need to act desperate or stupid now.

As he kissed him between his legs, Kaito, maneuvered Kokichi’s legs onto his shoulders, moving himself closer to Kokichi’s dick every little kiss. “Missed this…” Kaito said, meaning the touch of Kokichi’s skin. His soft, lovely scent. “Missed you. My beautiful ‘Kichi…”

And, without any further delay, Kaito took Kokichi into his mouth, immediately running his tongue up and down that thick, extended muscle.

“She could definitely hook you up,” Kokichi murmured, somewhere between logistics and affection. “And there are believers in the city so I’d think they’d know where to get the right supplies. As long as they’re not, like, from plants that specifically only grow in Luminary, I think you could get them in time. And even if they are, you’d still have a good chance.”

Kokichi gave Kaito a sweet look. He wasn’t even that interested in Atuan rituals from an academic standpoint (or just curiosity) like his father was, but he knew what they meant to Kaito. And because of that, being invited was a lovely gesture. However…

Sighing softly, Kokichi bent down to place another kiss on Kaito’s forehead. “I appreciate that, but I wouldn’t wanna kill the mood for you guys. But I do wanna help you all get ready, and if there’s anything you need from someone not taking part in the ritual, I’ll do my best. I just...it’d be a big mood killer to have someone throwing up or passing out, yeah?”

And that would be just from being in the same room as them. If there was any blood-letting, then Kokichi wouldn’t be able to participate at all without putting his health at great risk. Maybe in another life he would’ve lamented that, but...he was kind of thankful to have so many reasons why he wouldn’t be able to participate. 

Laughing a little as Kaito kissed down his thighs, Kokichi scooted himself forward just a tad, mostly resting his upper back against the wall as he parted his legs and invited Kaito closer. Rubbing the back of Kaito’s neck, Kokichi murmured, “Missed you too. Missed being with my Ka-ahhh. Ah...Kai-chan...already feels good.”

Kaito smirked around Kokichi’s head, his stomach already fluttering at the sound of his husband. Honestly, Kokichi gave him a big head. His sweet, vocal husband...and Kaito relaxed at the feeling of Kokichi’s fingers on the back of his neck, those little signs that Kokichi loved him and appreciated what Kaito was doing kind of...everything...to Kaito. It was so nice to be loved…

(...Kore, soothingly checking on every part of Kaito when they were done, making sure no part of him was uninspected, whispering reassurances of love and respect after rough, frightening sessions of pleasure...long, thin fingers that could be so cold and so warm at once…)

Kokichi was, especially in the beginning, easy to take into Kaito’s mouth, but he still focused on his head for now, running his tongue up and down it, sucking slightly and...experimentally, pushing his tongue against Kokichi’s hole for a second. But, obviously, that had no give, and Kaito abandoned that idea, running his hands up and down Kokichi’s legs as he took more of Kokichi into his throat, swallowing against the head bit by bit, enjoying the feeling of Kokichi slowly stiffening against his tongue, against the skin at the top of Kaito’s throat. 

Then, thinking of Kokichi’s concern that Kaito was...not getting anything from this? Or not being pleasured as much as his husband was, or something, Kaito stopped after a bit, releasing Kokichi’s dick as he looked up at his prince with eager, happy eyes, “Wanna come down here with me babe? Touch me back a little? We can perch you back up there when I start opening you up…”

Kokichi supposed there was something of an upside to having the smallest dick in their group--average, Kaito insisted and Kokichi knew, but it was hard to feel that way when his lovers were packing. He was the easiest to blow. You could take a good bit of him in before even hitting the back of a throat and, well...selfishly, Kokichi wondered if that meant that he got the most pleasure out of it. 

He liked blowing Kaito! Loved how it made his husband feel, liked the process of keeping his jaw slack and taking him in little by little, swallowing against his head. But he couldn’t bottom out, and with Shuuichi...Kokichi doubted he’d be able to take in more than his head. 

But...as long as they liked when he could do for them, it was fine. 

Kokichi hummed and groaned as Kaito played with his head, pressing against it and going down a bit. Kokichi’s cheeks slowly deepened with color as heat grew in his crotch, feeling himself respond in kind to Kaito’s work. Praising his love, Kokichi brushed Kaito’s side with his foot, continuing to rub his neck. “Kai-chan’s getting me hard...so good at that. Always makes me feel loved and taken care of… Nnmm… Can’t wait to make him feel good too…”

And...it seemed that would happen sooner rather than later. 

Kokichi blinked open eyes he didn’t remember closing, shivering a little as Kaito pulled back, his spit quickly cooling on his cock, just starting to stand up. And he grinned, excitement and love lighting up his eyes. “Yes!” A little awkwardly, he tried to unhook his legs from over Kaito’s shoulders, wanting so much to reciprocate in kind.

Kaito laughed at that excited little ‘Yes!’, reaching up to grasp at Kokichi’s hips as Kokichi freed his legs from Kaito’s shoulders, pulling him down, sliding him down the couch cushion and landing him in his lap, Kokichi’s back now pressed to the back of the couch instead of the wall. “Hey there.” Kaito greeted, grinning warmly at him now, he and Kokichi at even heights for once, Kokichi perched up by sitting on Kaitos legs. “Come around here often?” Kaito asked, the joke barely a joke, just wanting to say something friendly and warm before pushing Kokichi back into the couch, kissing at him, running his hand down his sides. 

After a moment, Kaito realized his own dick was trapped under Kokichi, not exactly open to his husbands touch, so Kaito shifted his hips a bit, untucking himself from between his legs, his dick now pressed loosely in-between Kokichi’s leg and his own dick.

Taking his hand on Kokichi’s dick, Kaito rubbed his calloused fingers against Kokichi’s skin, remembering that rough feeling of fingering himself, and kissing against Kokichi’s neck as said, “I hope you’d tell me if my fingers hurt you...I could use my left hand more? It’s got less rough spots on it.”

Kissing down his arm a little, Kaito came across a...well, most of Kokichi’s bruises from the incident had more or less faded, but there was a large bruise from where he had clearly been dropped on his shoulder at one point...it was faded but…

Kaito waited for that angry feeling to hit him, but the same as when he was actually living in the moment, he mostly just felt...scared at that memory. Overwhelmed by how helpless he felt to do anything, just counting on his sidekicks to find his husband, protect him, bring him back to me, please...too scared to be truly furious. So fucking scared that he had lost Kokichi…

The memory just made him feel sick, rather than furious. Maybe that feeling would change someday. But it was how he felt, and Kaito felt a wave of nausea that he ignored, kissing the bruise gently, whispering, “No one should ever be rough to my ‘Kichi…”

(...Monique, laughing at Kaito as he tried to be delicate with her, prompting him over and over again, ‘come on! Toss me around a little! I’m tossing size!’, giggling like mad when Kaito finally had the courage to take her up on it, Kaito blushing furiously to see his smaller lover that happy and excited by rougher treatment, even though he still really wanted to be certain he wouldn’t hurt her by accident, finding himself laughing with her...)

“Could come around more,” Kokichi joked back, pleased to press back into a kiss, his hands trailing and rubbing over Kaito’s back before coming around to his chest, massaging his pecs. He wasn’t sure exactly why he liked touching Kaito’s chest so much but...he did. It was so built, strong and yet soft, and Kokichi had always heard that pectorals were some of the most difficult muscles to stretch so...he figured his little massages felt nice, at least. And Kaito tended to make very nice sounds when he rolled and sucked at his nipples. 

However, when Kaito freed his dick, Kokichi moved a hand down to the main event, rubbing his thumb over his head, stroking up the underside and feeling his pulse a bit, wanting to get his husband excited too. Just as good as he made him feel… Sighing happily as Kaito kissed at his neck, Kokichi simply squeezed Kaito gently. “Kai-chan’s hands feel nice, calluses and scars and everything. I like the feeling of you touching me, and more than just because it’s you.”

But quite a lot because it was Kaito. 

Pausing for a moment, Kokichi gave him a sad look, unseen from how Kaito was kissing down his arm. Kokichi leaned in to kiss at his head, just pressing against him for a moment. “Hey...I’m here. I’m right here, in your arms and on your lap, and I’m safe. You made sure I’m safe. Bruises heal, and...being with you gives me the hope and assurance that everything else will too.”

Shuichi had made sure he was safe, staring at the road, ready to face down Maki’s fury to follow through on clues that Kokichi had left for them. Maki and Katsuki had made sure he was safe, rescuing him from his attackers. Seiko had made sure he was safe, putting salves on his wounds, keeping a clear head as they maneuvered their way back.

Kaito had beaten a man (that once Kaito had thought could be a friend to Kokichi) Maki had already subdued, and ran a woman’s head (again...Kaito’s worthless attempt to get Kokichi friends), whose arms were already torn to shreds, straight into a tree to get her to stop moving.

...Kaito closed his eyes, banishing that sick, awful feeling of just not being enough...focusing on the fact that Kokichi was here, now. That he was okay. He was. He was right here. He was okay. “Yeah, babe...you’re here. I’ve got you.” Kaito agreed, moving back up his arm and back onto his neck, a keen, small hum in the back of his throat as he felt Kokichi’s small fingers rubbing against his cock, coaxing life into it, Kaito kissing at the base of his neck, breathing slightly heavier as he said, “...no one’s ever gonna do that again...no one ever gets to take you again…”

...Kaito meant it as he said it, though he had no idea how to keep a promise like that. He had looked away for what felt like only a second. What could he do? Lock Kokichi away in a tower? Never take his eyes off him forever? Kill anyone who so much as looked at his husband weird? 

(Samuel and Marcus were so different...Marcus had been all nervous, excited giggles, eyes looking around the park, enjoying the heat of the sun, some part of him seeming almost eager at the idea of being caught...Samuel in the dark. All the lights off. Turning Kaito around and pinning him against the mattress...whispering someone else’s name…whispering a name he couldn’t ever hope to control or protect the way he had always wanted too...)

All of that shit would make Kokichi miserable.

So, he didn’t know how he could possibly honor that promise...it just made him feel better to say it. 

He hated the bruises on Kokichi. So he set about making different ones. 

He licked at Kokichi’s shoulder blade, sucking there for a moment, rising the heat and blood on his skin there, making the area there gently ache before releasing it, kissing the spot and saying, “You’re precious...I want to love and protect you...you’re mine. They tried to take you…” Kaito growled, clutching at Kokichi tighter, pulling him more into himself, feeling his spine stiffen in his grip for a second as Kaito bit down at the spot, wanting the bruise to be dark. Unmistakably a love bite. “...and our people brought you back…”

...After a second, Kaito relaxed the bite, kissing against the spot again, before going to kiss at Kokichi’s lips. Looking at him sincerely as he said, “I’m sorry that’s really all I can promise you...but I can promise that no matter what happens, I’ll always bring you back, okay? If anyone tries to take you away again? No one will stop me. I’ll always bring you back. I promise. I’ll never lose you. I’m sorry I can’t promise you more. I’m sorry I can’t say no one will ever hurt you again...but you will never be on your own, Kokichi.”

Kokichi tilted his head accommodatingly, that sad look in his eyes again, but he just held Kaito closer, stroking his cock in long, languid movements. For as terrifying as it had been for him...Kokichi wasn’t going to let himself forget that it had affected all his friends too. Maki’s fury and fear, Shuuichi’s self-directed disappointment...and Kaito had all of that. He’d been in and out by the time they made it back to town, but...he remembered that Kaito had never left his side. Always there, looking after him. Maybe proving to himself that Kokichi wasn’t going to be whisked away again. 

He owed Kaito so much...being such a comforting, needed presence, even when he was hurting too. 

“Uuurrrn...mmmm…” Kokichi moaned quietly as Kaito marked him, delighted to have some of those marks back and he had to gasp for a moment before cupping Kaito’s cheek with the hand that wasn’t on his dick, rubbing across his cheekbone before kissing him firmly, passionately. “That promise is more than enough. It’s all I could want. It’s nothing to apologize for…”

“...I wish I could promise to protect you too…” he sighed against Kaito’s lips, pressing once, twice. “I did once. And I kept failing. But...I can promise to never give up trying. And I can promise to always be here, always be with you, no matter what happens. Through hurt and harm, I will stand by you, and we will make it out together. Because I love you…”

Kokichi pushed against his lips again, eyes wetting. “I love you so much, Kaito…”

Failing? Kaito couldn’t remember an instance of Kokichi failing to protect him. When had Kaito needed protection? When Tengan had gotten him on the floor and made all those confusing threats? Had Kaito ever even told Kokichi that had happened? He couldn't remember...but that was the last time someone had physically threatened him. Well, that and the brick. But there hadn’t been a lot anyone could do to protect Kaito from that, and he had been fine anyway. 

Oh well...the idea that Kokichi had failed to ‘protect’ Kaito in some way probably made sense to his husband. Kokichi took everything so personally, took on so much emotional burden onto himself...Kaito wasn’t going to argue with him, or assure him he hadn’t failed him. He wouldn’t even know what he was assuring him about.

And Kaito grinned at his emotional little ‘I love you’, Kaito’s own eyes stinging as he laughed, kissing Kokichi back harder, fiercely. “I love you too, babe...why are we crying?” Kaito asked, laughing again, a tear falling down his face. “What are we doing? I just wanted to fuck my sexy as all hell husband into his office couch, and now I’m getting all weepy while he gives me a handjob. We’re so ridiculous.” Kaito teased, laughing some more as he hugged Kokichi close to himself, kissing his cheeks, loud and obnoxiously, “I swear, I’m not crying because of the handjob. You’re doing great, ‘Kichi. I love you so much!” Kaito swore, capturing his lips again, doing a bad job kissing him, because he couldn’t stop laughing at himself.

In this moment. That statement even felt true. The same way it always was but...without all the...other stuff. All the doubts and pain and ache and yearning to be back in a situation where he didn’t feel out of control and helpless.

(Chad during the best of times. Exciting and fun and happy, the two of them playing endless games together, comfortable and casual. Kaito hadn’t felt helpless with Chad. Not once. Never once. It was only when Chad had left that Kaito had stopped having fun...but never with him. Never.)

Kokichi laughed, letting his tears fall without a care because he knew they weren’t abundant. “It’s like before--I’m crying because I’m happy. I’m crying because I love you so damn much that my body can’t contain it and it comes out through my eyes.”

And he did. They hadn’t known each other long, but the two of them had been through so damn much. And more than being one of the first people Kokichi had ever made a deep connection with...he truly loved Kaito. So much so that he almost felt like he could drown in the feelings, but somehow...he could still breathe. Just fully enveloped. 

“I love being ridiculous with you,” Kokichi giggled against Kaito’s lips, now starting to rock his hips since he could feel Kaito’s excitement. 

Kaito really was starting to get riled up, actually. Especially when he felt Kokichi start to rock in his lap, rubbing his dick lightly against Kaito’s head, the feeling sparking in Kaito that old, possessive need again. He didn’t want to grind against Kokichi. He wanted to dig himself deep into his ass. Spear himself into him. Claim him. Mine. 

Open him up. Obviously. Kaito had to open him up. Let’s see…

“You okay with me tonguing you, babe? I know, I know it’s gross, but...look, I swear, I am absolutely going to have lube on me next time. I am making it a priority. I will be a permanent lube carrier from now on.”

“It’s not that gross, but… I mean, I’m okay with it if you are. One last kiss for the road?” Kokichi asked it like a question, but was already coming in for it, capturing Kaito’s lips and swiping his tongue against them, getting his fill before he’d have to wait until they made it back to their room and Kaito could brush his teeth. 

It wasn’t that gross, and Kokichi certainly kept himself clean, but...for sanitation’s sake, no mouth to mouth after ass to mouth. 

And, for good measure, pecking Kaito one more time, Kokichi found his footing on the couch, standing back up to perch himself on the back, trying to curve his spine to allow Kaito ease and access. “This alright, or do you need me higher up?”

Kaito blushed at Kokichi maneuvering himself into an easier position (for all of his ‘control’ fetish, that attraction to confidence was always battling for top place in his libido) for him to get access to him. Kaito felt himself automatically pressing a palm into his eye, grinning wide at him as he tried to get his fluster under control. “U-um, kinda, but if you’ll let me, I can actually lift ya into a good spot. Hold on, I’ve got you.”

Kaito grabbed at the bottom of one of Kokichi’s legs, leaving the other one down to steady himself with, kissing at his skin there for a moment before spreading him wider. Then, because Kokichi’s dick was right there anyway, Kaito took it into his mouth for a moment, sucking at Kokichi’s head, bobbing it down his throat for a moment, before letting it go, and moving on immediately to duck his head under it, going to work at Kokichi’s pinched hole.

Kaito always got embarrassed eating people out there, before he started, but like last time, once it had begun, he went at it with purpose. And, shit, Kokichi was right. He was entirely closed again. Putting his hand on the underside of Kokichi’s other leg, he shifted him a little wider, trying not to straight up put him in stress position, but just wanting more access as Kaito licked at Kokichi’s sphincter, warming it up and trying to coax it a little looser as, again, he tried to push his tongue in.

This time it pushed through, and Kaito snorted to himself a little when he felt Kokichi’s balls against the top of his forehead suddenly start pulsing. It was a little amazing, how much his small husband seemed to get out of his ass just being a little played with. Which suited Kaito just fine, as someone who liked to play with asses.

(Sahara had been the one to finally talk him into trying it with his tongue. Chad had hated the idea of it the one time one of their many playmates had brought it up, and Kaito remembered the disgust on his friends face, right up until Sahara had rolled her eyes, drunkenly pushing him onto his back and saying ‘relax, I’ll show you what it feels like’.)

He kept himself steadily breathing through his nose as he licked at Kokichi’s inside, ignoring the way Kokichi’s muscles tightened and strained against his hands, determined to get him loose enough that fingers wouldn’t cause him any aches or pains. He put so much time and effort into loosening Kokichi. Honestly, probably more then he had ever put into anyone before...but that was just how much Kaito wanted to ensure Kokichi would always enjoy himself when it was Kaito’s turn to take. He never wanted Kokichi wincing or biting his tongue while Kaito was lost inside of him. Kaito took such extra care in the beginning, before he pushed in, because he knew he couldn’t trust himself to do it afterwords.

Kokichi followed Kaito’s lead, shifting his weight a little to one side so he could brace himself with an elbow on the back of the couch and spread wider. Really, he didn’t mind when Kaito guided him into various positions. He didn’t even mind that much when Kaito got him on his back, holding his arms. He just...didn’t only want to be moved, didn’t want his movement restricted all the time. Didn’t want Kaito to silently decide to shift him, stopping Kokichi in his tracks. 

And since he’d brought it up, Kaito respected that. 

Kokichi bit his lip against a groan as Kaito took him in again for a moment, his knees shaking with a whine as he tried to stop himself from closing his legs, but...well, he didn’t have much of a reprieve as Kaito went down to his hole. Warm and gentle, but with a purposeful firmness...all in the name of loosening him up so Kaito could rail him into the wall. 

“Nnng...mmm...aaah…” The strain of his thighs was a little uncomfortable, but it was greatly worth it for the feeling of Kaito eating him out, Kokichi bringing the arm not bracing him to rub at Kaito’s neck again, not pushing him against his ass, but a tender cup, little touches to let his husband know how much he was enjoying this, if his breathy sounds weren’t clue enough. “Kai-chan...aahh...feels good… Dunno i-if I should be thankful that you keep letting me get so tight...Kai-chan o-ohhh...opening me up always feels so good...but I love his cock too...love feeling it inside of me. Love getting Kai-chan to cum in me…”

Kaito had to bring his tongue back in his mouth, unable to help it as he chuckled to himself. “Ya know, I’m sure it has something to do with how honest you usually are, but you really nail bed-talk, you know that? Everything you say always gets me so worked up. Don’t get embarrassed, but most people? They don’t talk like that in bed. Especially not in that sweet tone of voice.”

Taking his head away, wanting to ease up on Kokichi’s stress position, Kaito scooted back a little, giving Kokichi more room to lay back and spread his legs around Kaito if he wanted as Kaito said, “Here, sit back down? Lay back, and I’ll start putting some fingers in...mind helping me out with that?” Kaito asked, offering Kokichi his hand with a grin.

Kokichi flushed a bit but...he found he didn’t mind. With how much he worried he was doing alright, he wanted to let Kaito know that he was enjoying everything. That he wasn’t hurt or upset. That Kaito had nothing to worry about, and they could keep going. 

He was happy Kaito seemed to like it. 

“How do people usually use bed-talk then?” He wasn’t really looking for pointers, but...he liked hearing Kaito too, and if his mouth was going to be occupied, then there wasn’t any harm in giving Kaito something to talk about.

Taking Kaito’s hand with both of his, Kokichi gave his husband an amused look, practically purring, “Never do~” before he took two of Kaito’s fingers into his mouth, running his tongue from knuckle to pad on each while he let spit build up in the back of his mouth, giving the fingers a suck to lathe them. 

Kaito watched, a lewd feeling of excitement spinning in the bottom of his stomach as he saw his husband suck at his fingers. It was one of those things Kaito liked purely for the visual, just something so intoxicating about the image of Kokichi helping Kaito prep to enter him. Like the excitement he got watching Kokichi and Shuichi work each other up. Sometimes Kaito just enjoyed watching, getting worked up just enjoying the show.

But, Kaito would never pass up a chance to rant semi-aimlessly, and rolled his eyes as he said, “A disproportionate amount of people want to do my least favorite thing: call me names. That was actually probably just a Luminary thing, but man, it was constant before I finally just started telling people to stop. I mean, most of them weren’t trying to be mean. Fighting is just kinda sexy in our culture, ya know? A lot of people expected us to be a little confrontational in bed.”

Taking his hand back from Kokichi, Kaito leaned in and kissed his shoulder a bit, reminding him, “Tell me if it hurts. I’ll slow down.”

Gently pushing a finger in, he said, “When they weren’t kinda trying to fight me? A lot of beggers. Like how Shuichi was our first night, but like...not because they actually needed it, like our love did. Just cause they think it’s sexy. And it could be.” He admitted. 

 Then, smirking, he leaned over Kokichi, pulling his finger in and out of him, and said in a slightly falsetto voice, “ Please, please, harder, faster, give it to me~”

Chuckling slightly, Kaito leaned back, saying somewhat sheepishly, “I’m not trying to make fun of any of my old lovers, they were all lovely. But yeah. That was a super common one. It’s pretty funny out of context.”

Moving through the walls, a little lost in memories now, Kaito said, “Some people didn’t make any noise. Like, none. That was always the worst. No idea how I was doing. Some people do that on purpose, as, like, a power-play? Others just really don’t have anything to say.”

(Kaito, grinning sheepishly at Rawr, asking for the fifth time now if he was having a good time? He could do something else, if he wanted? If he didn’t like it? They could stop entirely if Rawr just wasn’t into it. Rawr? Rawr’s befuddled look at the question, asking sincerely why he would want to stop? It felt good...)

Chuckling, Kaito felt Kokichi start to open up, and said “Next one, okay? Do you need me to slow down?...anyway, then you have the moaners. All they do is moan. And they repeat anything you say back to you. I think they just struggle to think in the act is all. That can either be really sexy or incredibly obnoxious. No middle ground. Annnnd, last but, hopefully,” Kaito laughed, “Not least, you have ‘growlers’. Idiots like me who get all, ya know...grunty and angry and possessive. I haven't slept with a lot of other growlers, but man, we can sound super weird, huh?”

Looking lovingly down at Kokichi, he smiled, “And now I can add, I don’t know what to call yours...gentle encouragement? Honest mewler...mewls! That’s what yours are. You’re a mewler...it’s incredibly sweet. I actually get a little ashamed at how much it turns me on, your sweet little mewls.”

Kaito smirked, slipping his third finger in, moving his palm down and seeking out that particular raised layer of skin and gently rubbing against it as he said, “Like I’m pleasuring sweetness personified. My beautiful, mewling ‘Kichi...”

Hmm...like an extreme version of dirty-talk, he figured. He supposed he could understand the reasoning, even if he didn’t agree with it. And from how Shuuichi spoke about it...it was probably something he experienced too. Only...Nao wasn’t getting anything sexual out of it, and was just shaming Shuuichi for his own stress-pleasure. 

...not a good example of that at all. 

Shifting a little on the couch, Kokichi hummed as he felt Kaito push into him, still feeling that slight burn of stretch, but not bad. Kaito had loosened him up well. 

Beggers… Kokichi huffed a small, breathy laugh as he remarked, “I think I fit into that a little…” When Kaito worked him up until Kokichi thought he was going to lose his mind, when all he wanted was his husband inside him… It was just a more desperate version of letting Kaito know he was enjoying everything. That he wanted more, so Kaito didn’t have to hold back. 

And for making no noise… After their first time, Kokichi remembered them talking, how afraid Kokichi had been that he was doing nothing, and how Kaito had explained that being in the moment was far more than nothing. That was partly why Kokichi wasn’t that embarrassed to moan and talk during sex. If it let Kaito know he was present and there, then that was perfect. 

“Mmm...yeah…’s good. Keep going…” Moaning just seemed like the natural high point. Too dazed with lust to be coherent or playing strong...just letting yourself feel everything your partner was offering, to feel yourself offering all you had to give…

Kokichi swallowed before laughing lightly. “D-definitely not least. I like how Kai-chan is in bed--I can only say so for me - mmm - but...you make your partner feel so...wanted. Like they’re important and so attractive to you… It’s a nice feeling.”

Different from the nice feeling of what Kaito did next. 

“O-ohh! Mmmuh! Auung… Kaaaaai-chan…!” Kokichi did, indeed, mewl, his face flushing deeper as he writhed around Kaito’s fingers, pushing down against them as he grabbed the couch, his chubby cock twitching higher and starting to wet at its tip. 

Kaito grinned, kissing the side of Kokichi’s leg as he murmured, “There it is...fun ‘Kichi noises…”

Pulling his fingers out, he said brightly, “Alright! We feeling all loose and comfortable? Still okay with me fucking you standing? Like I said, I love this position, and I haven't been able to do it cause of the cast. Though, if you find you don’t like it? Just tell me, babe, it’s not gonna break my heart, okay? There’s lots of fun ways to fuck my ‘Kichi~.”

Looking down at himself, he also had gotten hard, enjoying Kokichi’s touch and listening to the pleasures of his husband. He could be harder, sure, but Kaito was a little uncomfortable asking for blow jobs these days, and honestly, once he was in and got going, he’d swell to where he needed to be. 

Getting off the couch. Kaito didn’t move his arms at first, positioning them underneath Kokichi’s legs as he said, “Grab me around the neck babe. Just hold on, okay?”

And, like it always was with Kokichi, it was shockingly easy to stand back up, Kokichi’s legs interlocked with Kaito’s arms, his body hanging off Kaito...who immediately rolled his eyes and said, “Damn it, forgot a step...you mind gripping your legs around my waist for a second, beautiful? Give me room to move my arms a second?”

Kokichi needed a moment to catch his breath, residual tingles from his sweet spot making him shiver before he grinned up at his husband. “I am totally ready for Kai-chan to get inside me. I’ve missed you…” Especially since the last time they fucked Kokichi had been losing it, feeling Kaito pound into him while rutting against Shuuichi--it was a lovely memory, and he was hoping the three of them could do something fun together again soon. But just focusing on Kaito always felt amazing. 

(...in the moment)

Kokichi easily looped his arms around Kaito’s neck, bracing himself more against Kaito’s upper back to make things easier on his husband, and he didn’t bat an eye before wrapping his legs around his waist too, keeping himself up mostly with his thighs. Unlike when he’d had that bad day, it was easy, and Kokichi was steady, lessening the burden on Kaito to hold him as much as he could. 

“What’s up?”

“One second, one second,” Kaito chuckled, moving his arm under from out of Kokichi’s legs, down to his own dick, taking it and pointing it in the correct direction as he used his other arm to lift Kokichi up slightly. “Alright, and, let’s go down a little...heh...there we go…” Kaito whispered soothingly as he pushed into Kokichi. Well, ‘pushed’ was an overstatement. Once the tip was in, it was just letting gravity due the work as he let Kokichi fall against his hips again, moving his arms back under his legs. 

”Okay! You can loosen the grip in your legs if you want now, ‘Kichi. Just don’t let go of my neck, okay? I won’t let you fall, but it’ll be real tough to keep you on me if you let go entirely. Or, I don’t know, someone as light as you? Maybe I could still do it.” Kaito teased. 

Leaning down to kiss his neck, suckling at the skin, as he started to bounce Kokichi against himself. “There we go...I got you…” he murmured, using his arms to help bounce his husband, Kokichi coming down deeper and deeper onto his cock with every bounce, until eventually Kaito could feel Kokichi’s backside impact against the back of his groin. “Yeah...y-yeah…”

Ah...yeah, that was kind of important. It was nice being in Kaito’s arms and all, but...he was kind of looking to be fucked by this point. 

“Okay...hahh...okay…” Kokichi breathed, loosening his grip around Kaito’s waist and just...easing himself down. Kaito had loosened him up nicely, and their spit did the trick in this lube-less reality but...he still had to be cautious. Especially out of their room, if something happened...of course he’d want Kaito to take him to the medical wing, but he would die from embarrassment. 

Little by little, Kokichi felt Kaito’s cock push in deeper, Kokichi humming as he widened up and from the additional love bite Kaito was making. “Nnmm… Like this… Kai-chan touching the place that’s his, that no one else has ever touched… Still fits so well…” And considering there was no way Kokichi could fit Shuuichi without a death wish...it would likely stay that way. 

For a moment, Kokichi tightened his thighs again, wanting to stay at the lowest point and just enjoy the feeling of Kaito inside of him… before he leaned back, kissing at Kaito’s jaw with a smug grin. “...I want Kai-chan to have to use that wall…”

“Pfff. Tyrant.” Kaito teased, happy to still just bounce Kokichi up and down against his hips, enjoying the feeling of Kokichi falling back down to the lowest point of his dick every time gravity brought him back down, hitting a deep, deep part of him. 

“Bet I last longer than you. You ain’t got no stamina babe, and it doesn’t take me long once I decide to get going. I’m not gonna need the wall, beautiful.” Kaito challenged, wanting to kiss Kokichi fully, but settling for his neck again. Knocking Kokichi against his hips.

Kokichi laughed into a moan, helping Kaito bounce him up though he knew he wasn’t going to be able to help the whole time. Because… “Ha haaah… You’re right… Kai-chan feels so incredible I can never hold out… So that’s why I want him to take as much as he wants...nngm...feel that satisfaction too…”

Kaito lit up to hear Kokichi laugh. He loved hearing Kokichi laugh. It always made him wonder how anyone could have ever denied Kokichi anything growing up. He was at his very best when he was happy. 

(It was a side of Bailsong his friends had never met, that she sincerely struggled to show people. When she was genuinely happy and relaxed, looking up at Kaito looking more comfortable underneath the covers of the bed then she ever looked tightly wrapped in all those dresses of hers. When she let the mask down? Bailsong was truly beautiful...so much so that Kaito had stayed friends with her for years after breaking up with her, just for those rare moments to see her honestly smile.)

“My Kokichi...my happy, mewling Kokichi...I get so l-lost in you...ha...fuck...I get so lost…” Kaito said, some of that growl starting to get into his throat, staring at Kokichi hungrily as his insides started to burn, his dick swelling as he increased the pace, loving the way Kokichi got a little louder whenever he went a little faster. “...I want you all the time…heh...ha...fuck, come here-”

Kaito pulled Kokichi closer to him again, biting down at his shoulder a bit before kissing at him, breathing against his skin.

(Sahara had hurt him in a way that had made Kaito leave her and Korekiyo had hurt him in a way that had made Kaito stay, but Saber was the one who had taught him to bite in bed. He had been careful and deliberate about it too, and Kaito hadn’t known what to make of it at first, forced to be still as sharpened teeth bit into his shoulder and held him through his fucking. Marking him rougher than Kaito had ever touched Kokichi. It had hurt but...Kaito had found himself unable to bring himself to tell Saber to stop, finding himself liking it more and more every time the quiet, intense man did it…finding himself starting to bite back, which had resulted in one of the rare times he had ever heard Saber laugh...)

“‘Kichi...fuck, stay close to me, stay close, please. Fuck!” Kaito growled, feeling Kokichi start to grow slick on his pre-cum, so light that he was actually bouncing close to off him, each thrust teasingly close to losing Kokichi off his dick entirely.  Feeling himself starting to lose it, now eyeing the wall just cause...god he wanted to pound into him...wanted to slam him into the wall…

While Kokichi wasn’t worried about being loud for Kaito, he was...a little worried about being loud for...everyone else. Kirumi had been nearby, but she wasn’t one to idle in one area for long, always moving to the next task. However, unlike the residential wing, the east wing of the castle tended to see more traffic, people going to classes and workshops all throughout. Kokichi’s office wasn’t like Aiichi’s, not set up for the purpose of people coming in and out all the time, but it was still...public. 

So Kokichi tucked his face against Kaito’s neck, mewling against his lover’s skin, loud just for the person he wanted to hear him. If Kaito couldn’t swallow his cries, then he could still muffle them. 

Kokichi scrambled to stay close and pressed against Kaito, wanting Kaito to pound into him but unable to still his own hips. Being close rubbed his high, leaking cock against Kaito’s abs, riling him up too much, but he couldn’t bear to be far. “Kai, Kai-chan! Please, a-ahh, ‘m close! Fuck me! I love you, I love you s-aaaung so much!”

Kaito breathed heavy, sweat starting to pour from his hairline…. before saying, “Fine, I lose.” 

Kaito moved quickly, heading to the wall next to the window (he wasn’t nearly as concerned about being heard as Kokichi, but figured of all the walls to do this against, probably better the one no one could be on the other side of it, wondering why the fuck the wall was suddeny vibrating.), pinning Kokichi to the wall with an almost worrying THUD. Kaito hadn’t actually meant to do that, literally slam Kokichi against the wall, and stopped for a second, looking down at Kokichi in concern, making certain he wasn’t hurt...but saw the haze of lust in Kokichi’s eyes and grinned.

Taking Kokichi’s legs, bringing his hands up to the back of his knees, Kaito pressed his legs to the wall, spreading Kokichi wide, leaving him open and easy to move against as Kaito let the wall take some of Kokichi’s weight, giving him full movement to focus all his energy on his hips, which he took full advantage of. 

Pounding into Kokichi, listening to the back of his lover hit against the plaster of the wall, listening to the sound of Kokichi’s breathing (trying to be aware of any sounds of pain. Of distress. He knew this might hurt a little. He didn’t want to hurt Kokichi, and was prepared to stop and slow the second he heard anything that worried him), and just…

“Fuck. This feels amazing.” Kaito breathed, feeling his dick slide in and out of Kokichi’s tight hole with ease, his dick pressed and squeezed by Kokchi’s backside as Kaito set the pace, just...enjoying himself. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum soon...cum into your back...gonna...hnnnn...fuck, fuck, so c-close…!!”

Kaito stared into Kokichi’s eyes, his face tense and angry and filled with hungry, possessive lust. Looking at Kokichi like he was the only thing in the world. Like he was offended at the very idea that there was anything outside of this. Leaning in, he bit Kokichi’s ear, before whispering into his ear, “Mine. You’re mine, ‘Kichi…mine.”

He would probably tease Kaito about it later, but for the moment, Kokichi just groaned as he struggled to keep moving despite Kaito moving to the wall, about to make it easier. It was wet between them but Kokichi was still snug, feeling the pull and rub of Kaito’s dick with every movement and fuck he wanted it. 

Kokichi squeaked a bit as Kaito...er, very literally slammed him against the wall, but after a moment the impact faded, and he was still squirming to go. And go they did. Having to grab and scrabble at Kaito’s shoulders to keep his grip, Kokichi bucked against his husband, head tipped back as his hips thumped against the wall over and over, his mewls no longer muffled in this new angle.

“Nng! Ah! Hah! Nngah! KAi-chan! Please! Please! Cum into maa! Me! Want it, want ch’yaaa, wanna be yours, love you, I! I-!” Kokichi arched against Kaito, feeling that tight spring of pleasure burst as his hold clamped down around his husband’s thick length, coaxing him to spill, to mark him, to promise again and again in the language of their bodies that he wasn’t going anywhere. “Hhaa-aaaaAA!!”

Kaito laughed, lost in the feeling of Kokichi, at the end of that final scream of his moving his shoulder and neck over Kokichi’s mouth, encouraging him to bury himself into his neck, muffling the noise a little, again, mostly just thinking of his husband’s sensibilities. He didn’t want Kokichi to feel embarrassed afterwords, no one giving him any funny looks. “You can bite if you want b-babe...I’ve got you…”

Kaito closed his eyes, focusing on his own pleasure, moving himself in and out of Kokichi, just, again, lost in him. So lost in him. Kaito wished this was always what it felt like. Lost in Kokichi’s body. Entirely certain of his place and purpose in the world. Just making his husband happy. Just making him squeal and moan and laugh in delight.

(He had never slept with Komaru. He hadn’t been sleeping with people back then, having dated her for a week before meeting Togami. He remembered telling Togami about her, how embarrassed he had felt to have lost his first girlfriend before they had even really had their first date.Wondered what had been wrong with him? And Togami had put him onto his back and kissed him gently and reassured Kaito over and over that it was her loss. That he was wonderful. That Kaito was more than worthy of love...that he loved him so much…)

“..love you ‘Kichi...love you, ‘Kichi….ha...hmmmm...ha…’Kichi...K-kokichi…!!” Kaito groaned into Kokichi’s neck, slamming into him hard and fast for a moment, before stopping, bursting inside of his lover, feeling himself spill, gush, into him...Kaito panting heavily, his vision whiting out for just a second, a worrying moment where he was afraid he might actually blackout for a second and stumble...he was still fucking cumming...w-what the fuck…

He leaned them against the wall, making certain he wouldn’t lose his grip on Kokichi, as he breathed heavily, getting oxygen back into him, still a little stunned at the intensity of that orgasm. Wow...fuck...blinking hard, his vision stabilizing, Kaito kissing the side of Kokichi’s head, before saying, “Hold on, babe, h-hold on...I’ve got you…”

Aware of how much his hips must be aching by now, Kaito was gentle when he peeled Kokichi off the wall, pulling himself out of his husband and carefully lowering his legs, letting his feet touch the floor just for a second before sweeping him up in a more comfortable bridal style, not wanting his husband to lose strength in his knees trying to stand just yet. Carrying him over to the couch, he placed him down on the towel, kissing at his chest, his shoulder, before sitting up, looking Kokichi over.

“...you were amazing ‘Kichi...I love you so much...are you okay?” Kaito asked, running his hands gently over Kokichi’s hips, concerned. Leaning down, he kissed at his hip bones, before taking his fingers and massaging the muscles there, trying to undo or at least ease any stress or damage he had done there. 

Kokichi gratefully tucked himself against Kaito and… Giving him a love bite too… Kokichi loved all the little marks he’d find on his neck the day after. Turning his head this way and that, finding all the places that in the heat of the moment he hadn’t even registered Kaito biting. Finding them scattered on his shoulders and even sometimes on his back…

He didn’t think Kaito would mind much, but Kokichi still chose a spot lower down on Kaito’s shoulder, easily hideable under a shirt, gently biting down and giving the area a suck, soothing with his tongue like his husband always did for him. Because Kokichi was Kaito’s...and Kaito was his. Sworn and bound. 

Not that Kokichi was thinking anything much more complicated than a haze of love and satisfaction as Kaito bucked into him, making him shiver from the increased sensitivity. Wanting to help him finish too, but too boneless to do much as...oohhh… Kokichi groaned softly against Kaito’s neck, a shudder of pleasure going through him as he felt Kaito fill him and...wow, really fill him. 

Kokichi was still shivering when Kaito set him down, able to feel...almost a flood start to leak out of him from how much Kaito had cum, and he was a little relieved when they made it back to the towel. It was...a little weird, but…

Kokichi smiled tenderly at his husband, cupping his cheek, though he appreciated the massage. “I’m good… Kai-chan is always so good to me. I love you. And I know I’m all fragile ‘n shit but...I like it when you’re a little rough. That was a lot of fun.” Rolling onto his side a little, Kokichi kissed Kaito’s forehead, not minding the beads of sweat. “You good? Seemed like it got kind of intense there, at the end.”

Kaito laughed sheepishly, though he stared at Kokichi adoringly after the kiss. Lost in his own endorphins as he shrugged, sitting on the floor next to the couch, resting his head against Kokichi’s stomach as he stared up at him, full of soft comfort and love. “Yeah, that was weird, right? It’s like it just wouldn’t stop...guess that’s what I get for not touching you in so long. You drive me wild, ‘Kichi.”

Sure, Kaito didn’t...think cumming a lot was a side effect of not having slept with a person in awhile. Hell, as far as he had always known, nothing really effected how much you came, once the deed was done. It was always steady and, well, reliably the same amount…

...but, like, things were just weird these days. Kaito had cum a little more then he usually did? Ah well. Add it to the pile.

Indulging himself, Kaito lifted one of Kokichi’s legs, looking at his backside, before laughing, lowering it back down again. “You’re not even keeping it all inside you right now. I think I just cream-pied you by accident babe. My bad.” Kaito chuckled, kissing Kokichi’s side.

Giving Kokichi a warm smile, still idly rubbing his hips, he said, “You’re my tough as shit, cool, brave husband...but, are you sure you feel good? Do you need anything? I can bring you anything, Kokichi. I’m at your beck and call, beautiful.”

...that was kind of weird since Kaito had been sleeping with Shuuichi, but Kokichi just snorted fondly. Shit like that was variable, and it was just a little surprising. Not really unpleasant. Even if calling it out made his cheeks flush. “I’m glad we brought a towel…”

Sighing a little, Kokichi reached out to stroke Kaito’s neck, feeling the strain of activity wear on him, slowing his blinks. “Right now...I think I’m good. Might feel different in a couple hours, and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna bruise, but that’s a cost I’ll gladly take.”

“Mostly…” he swallowed a yawn, “I kinda wanna sleep… My curse is still active, it seems. Once we’re good and get dressed...would you mind walking me back to our room? As much as I like ‘em, ‘m not gonna demand Kai-chan cuddles, but...I’d feel better if you walked me back, is all…”

“Why wouldn’t I wanna cuddle with ya, ‘Kichi? We’re not watching Shuichi right now. I can sleep with ya all I want.” Kaito reassured him, kissing at the bruises on his body, old and new ones...before grinning brightly. “Okay! Before you get totally lost to sleep, ‘Kichi! Up, up! Let’s get you cleaned up and dressed!”

As Kaito started clearing up the room, wiping down Kokichi and bundling up the towel, double checking the wall and the couch before cracking the window open, enjoying the feeling of the breeze against himself for a second before running around collecting his own clothes, putting them all on as well...he briefly considered another trip to his shrine. His missing friends on his mind. Still just...really worried about them…

...but, he had prayed for their safety yesterday. And would probably pray for their safety again tomorrow. For tonight? He’d take care of the lover in front of him. His Kokichi. His good, sweet husband.

(...can’t do anything for them anyway.)

(Can’t do anything for anyone.)

(Some hero you turned out to be.)

Grinning brightly, ignoring the sick sense of dread that was already returning, no longer chased away by the effort and endorphins of pleasuring his husband, Kaito offered Kokichi his hand. “Come on, babe, I got the towel. Sneak us back to our room! We definitely don’t want Kirumi to see us with the towel and offer to wash it, yeah? Ultra-stealth mission is a go!”

Well...mostly Kokichi hadn’t wanted to force Kaito into lying in bed for a while in the middle of the afternoon. It finally felt like everyone was settling in to life in the castle, and… It was different from him being sick, he knew. But the thought of trapping Kaito in their room because of him when he could be doing anything else just...he wanted to make it a clear option. 

Heaving a great sigh, Kokichi pulled himself up and started to dress himself, wiping up the cum dripping from his ass as well as he could. He’d do a better cleaning job later, as he usually did, but for getting back to their room, it’d do. Not leaving any suspicious stains in his underwear. 

And not in the room either. 

Swallowing another yawn, Kokichi gave Kaito a fond look as he took his hand and led them out of the office, taking a moment to listen before heading back towards the connecting hallway, trying to stay out of sight. 

And, for the most part, they were successful! He thought he saw someone idling over in one of the hallways they had to pass in the residential wing to get to their room but...just someone hanging out wasn’t a problem. Getting back, Kokichi made a sleepy, tottering beeline for the bed, sleep calling his name.

Kaito smiled warmly, seeing his husband immediately scuttle off to bed. Kaito took a second to kick off all of his own clothes, tossing them in front of the door (If Kirumi wanted to walk in? At least she’d pick up right away that one of the prince’s was butt naked by this point.) before crawling in next to Kokichi.

He wasn’t tired. But holding a sleeping Kokichi tended to make him drift off himself, so he wasn’t worried about it...before cursing himself. “One sec, babe. Be right back.”

Kaito got out of bed, headed into the bathroom, and five minutes later he came back out, comfortably kissable again. 

Once again curling onto bed around Kokichi, Kaito kissed his temple, whispering to him, “I love you babe. Get some sleep. I’m watching over you.” he promised, before settling on his pillow, holding Kokichi close to himself. 

As he laid there, he decided Dr. Ford had been right. Maybe he was overthinking all of this? Maybe he didn’t need to be afraid of himself. Of the castle. Of...of everything. Everytime he tried something, it went well, right? No one hurt him. He didn’t need to fight anyone. He hadn’t hurt Kokich with his desperate need of him.

Maybe everything would be okay…

…

(he...just wished he felt better….was feeling like this just a part of it all now? Maybe it was just something inside of himself. Maybe it wouldn’t matter if everything outside of himself was okay. Maybe the bad feeling was just...a part of him now….)

Kaito held Kokichi close, and tried not to think about all of that. About anything at all. Just focus on Kokichi. His small lover. It was all gonna be okay…

It didn’t take long for Kokichi to succumb to sleep. Satisfied and warm, tucked against his husband, safe and sound. And likely to Kaito’s delight, those small snuffling sounds started up quite soon as Kokichi...didn’t quite dream. 

But mostly did. 

There was fear, and yet the acceptance of it. A sort of apathy that would make even the most stoic person shiver. A true, genuine, utter disregard for life. And yet...there was something that scared even a person like that. Something that one person had the ability to fix, but...not the ability to be there. So...they accepted that apathy. Craved it. 

There was despair, a feeling of complete failure with no hope for the future. No strive. No plans. Just...a complete feeling of succumbing. 

Surely there was always something to hope for...but without the desire to change, it was futile. 

There was uncertainty, a feeling like one didn’t belong. Confusion and distrust, and every feeling headed towards a path of anger. 

When you asked for help, help would come. 

There was a restless fury, one that came from love, accompanied by fear that came from that love too. Injustices that could not stand. A promise. 

Action needed to be taken, but so that you could truly find rest. 

Kokichi’s brow furrowed a little as he slept, but even in sleep the care his heart was made out of sought to soothe.

Tom was sitting in the dark, on the smallest mound of dirt, staring intently at a cylinder jar that was open on both ends, trying his best to puzzle it out. One end looked like it was designed to be open, like it had always been that way, but the other end looked like it had been shattered open roughly, shards of glass still dangling from it, that shifted uselessly as Tom turned it this way and that way.

No matter which way he turned it, a waterfall of lights poured out of it.

It was a steady stream of colorful lights, water-like in texture and formation, that seemed to originate from the center of the cylinder jar, and it poured out as quickly as it appeared. Tom was trying to puzzle out a way to keep the light inside the jar. He wasn’t entirely certain why he was doing that. It just seemed vaguely important to him. Or, at the very least, it was something to focus on that wasn’t the worm, the bodies, the void, or the men in the dark.

Right. Let’s set the rest of the scene. 

The mound of dirt Tom was sitting on was the brightest area in the dark, vast space he was in. Everything else darkened out into the void, a pitch black abyss that surrounded him in every direction. Tom wasn’t worried about the void. It was always there and would always be there and one day Tom would be swallowed by it. Which was fine. That was the easy way to go. 

In his mind, the harder way to go was way down below, into the thing just massive enough to be visible even within the void. It was the giant worm with thousands and thousands of gnashing, gnawing teeth, opened wide to catch the bodies that were always falling from the sky into it, feeding it. The worm was ravenous and relentless and would consume everything, but...honestly, Tom wasn’t actually all that worried about the worm either. It was only a concern to him at all because he cared about Itch and Itch was terrified of the worm. Obsessed over it. Worshipped it, in his own mad, horrified way.

Tom didn’t know about all that. A worm was still just a worm, even if it had the ability to devour everyone. Why pay it any attention if it wasn’t eating you, or someone you cared about, specifically? And even then, what could you really do? It’s a big ass worm. It didn’t care how you felt about it.

No...Tom just cared about the men in the dark. 

He cared for every selfish, stupid reason you could think of. His fear of them was simple. They hurt him when they showed up. They made him cry and beg and scream. They made him say and do things that hurt or humiliated him, promising that each one was the last one and then he’d be forgiven for failing... and then they’d laugh at him for believing them and keep hurting him anyway. And it worked each time anyway, because by the time they were willing to offer little nuggets of hope, Tom was starving and desperate for even just  the smallest reprieve. Willing to listen to lies, just because their hands stop moving long enough to tell them.

He had failed his mission. Was still failing his mission. He knew the men would be back soon. Wasn’t actually certain where they had gone. Kept finding himself looking up from his jar to glance suspiciously around himself, wondering why the men had stopped...before looking curiously into the darkness. Something...new there.

Staring into the darkness for a moment, idly spinning the cylinder jar in his hands, his little lights falling out, Tom considered the smaller figure for a moment...before smiling sharply. “Hi!” He said to the figure, “That’s a neat trick, being able to stand on nothing like that. I can’t do that. Aren’t you worried about falling into the worm?”

When the figure in the void didn’t answer right away, Tom just shrugged, looking back at his cylinder, still trying to puzzle out some way to hold it that would keep the lights inside of it. “Well, you can sit on my dirt with me, if you want. Don’t know how much longer it's gonna last,” Tom admitted, the mound of dirt having been getting smaller and smaller with each passing day, “But it’s here for now, I guess.”

The small figure didn’t have any defining features barring its size. It was just a figure in the dark. However, it did tilt its head, as if confused.

“...I’m not standing on nothing. There’s a path here. It’s wide and sturdy...made from countless people sharing their dirt… But thank you for offering to house me on yours… I think that’s how this path started…”

The little figure came closer, still not becoming any more distinct. “...are you scared of falling?”

Tom raised an eyebrow at the figure, looking at his feet. He didn’t see a path...whatever. The figure could stand on nothing, if he wanted to. It didn’t bother Tom none. 

“What, into the worm? Nah, not really...it might hurt for a little bit, but I don’t think you live very long once it’s got you. So that’s alright.” Tom said, looking back into his cylinder. There just had to be a way…

There was a sudden THUD next to Tom, and Tom’s face lit up, quickly moving to the body that had managed to land on his mound. This worked sometimes! Grasping the body, he put the cylinder down real quick and took out his knife, driving the blade into the bodies wrist before the body could pull itself away from Tom, the blond quickly sawing the hand away, before taking the limb and using the hand to plug the hold on the bottom of the cylinder, thoughtlessly kicking the rest of the body back into its fall towards the worm, as he stared at the cylinder in fascination. 

His eyes widened, excitement starting to bubble inside of him, smiling wider as his eyes started to sting, the cylinder finally, finally filling...but immediately looked disappointed as the hand started to melt under the pressure, dissolving quickly, the light starting to spill out around it. “Ah, man...shoot, I should have saved the rest of it...damn.” Tom muttered, watching dispassionately as the hand dissolved entirely. “Ah well…”

The figure didn’t move and it didn’t become clearer, but there was a clear sense of disappointment and disgust to it as it watched this display. “...wish they’d landed over here...they could’ve started walking again.”

“...that wasn’t the bottom of a jar, you know. It won’t fix it. And now...that person has suffered more. Instead of you offering your dirt...or helping them over here…” The figure sighed. “...can I try to help you fix it?”

Tom looked up warily at this. The figure wouldn’t be the first person to offer to ‘fix’ it. Itch had offered to fix it, and had made the edges less sharp, but had eventually decided Tom was more useful like this. The man who called himself their ‘father’ when they had gotten to Dicea had tried to fix it, and had gotten frightened and ended up breaking it further, until he had finally cut himself on it entirely. People were either cowardly or selfish. That was how it always was.

...ah well. Could be entertaining to watch him try. That small, sharp smile always on his features, Tom waved the cylinder back and forth, enjoying the little waving light show as all of him spilled out, saying, “Go for it, dude. It’s not doing much of anything anyway.”

The little figure hummed and came closer, offering an indistinct hand to pull Tom over to the path. “It’s supposed to do things, but, personally… I don’t think that’s very important. We can do things fine on our own without them. But...it does feel nice when it’s full. I hope I can help you with that.”

Tom looked down at the void beneath the figures feet. At the worm. “You know I’m just gonna fall, right? I can’t do whatever it is you’re doing.”

“Hm. To me, it looks like you’d be just fine, but that doesn’t really help you, does it…” The figure thought for a moment. “I don’t want to ask you to scatter some of your dirt so you can see the path so… If I come over to you, can I trust you to not push me off?”

Tom snickered, before shrugging. “I don’t think anyone’s told me to kill you, so yeah? Besides, I don’t kill people. I kill bodies.” He shrugged again, “It’s different. That thing was already doomed.” He looked up at the bodies falling, their trajectory towards the worm inevitable. Unstoppable. “They’re all already doomed anyway...everyone’s already doomed...all bodies...but! The ones I have conversations with! That’s different! They’re people!” 

Tom smiled brightly at the figure, before standing up, brushing the dirt off his back, stepping backwards. “Come on in! The dirt is fine!”

“Everyone goes to the worm eventually,” the figure remarked, carefully hopping over from the path to the small mound of dirt. “Even me and you. But it doesn’t mean our time on our mounds is meaningless. We’re talking right now, aren’t we? That’s worth something to me, at least. And sometimes when people fall, they land on the path, so...they won’t fall again for a while.”

Even right in front of Tom, the figure was indiscernible. But it was there. Again, holding its hand out, it looked up to him. “May I see your jar?”

Tom nodded, passing it to the figure...though as he let it go he got nervous. He wasn’t actually really supposed to fix it...it’d piss off the men in the dark. They had worked really hard to break it in the first place.

He looked around into the void, wondering if they were coming…

The figure looked at the jar, turning it this way and that, sighing a little at the jagged edges. It must have hurt so much to have it broken… Rooting around in its unclear pockets, the figure looked up at Tom and paused. “Are you alright? If you can’t see the path I see, then is there something you can see that I can’t?”

Tom shook his head. “Not yet. My conditioners stop by every now and again to make sure I’m still doing what I’m supposed too. They were here awhile ago. They’ve been here a lot lately. Gotta go get Prince Kokichi back. Gotta kill whoever took him...got to do it. Got to do it, Tom. Do you want the men in the dark to come back? You have to listen Tomo.”

As he spoke, his voice changed. Or, at least that’s how it seems at first. But after a moment, it’s clear that there’s a second, much louder voice, talking behind him. A man in the dark that Tom didn’t realize was there yet, talking for him. Filling his head. Tom took out his knife and started playing with it fitfully as the man said loudly over him, Tom mouthing along with him, “You have to do the mission, Tomo.”

“HEY!!”

The figure suddenly shouted, not looking at Tom, but the vague phantoms in the void that he couldn’t really sense, but knew were there for the person he was talking to. Still hazy, the figure bloomed into a sort of deep red, its anger vivid. 

“He didn’t invite you here!! You don’t get a say on what he does with his dirt! Fuck off!” There was a small flare of light as the figure yelled at the men in the dark, illuminating a small space. The men weren’t in the dark if there wasn’t dark, after all. 

“...the audacity…” the figure grumbled, the red fading from its body as it turned back to the jar, finally finding what it had been looking for. 

Its own dirt. 

And, holding the jar by its smooth side, the figure started rubbing its dirt along the jagged edges, trying to soften them. If it wasn’t so sharp, then they could make a bottom to replace what was gone.

Tom giggled nervously, flinching as he scrambled, not having realized there was someone behind him until he heard the body jolt backwards, trying to avoid the light the figure had brought. Scooting towards the figure, Tom looked around suddenly increasingly nervous, staring around in shock. There hadn’t been light in here in...in a long time. Not since he and Itch had first gotten the courage to run. Not since-

Tom looked at the figure in the dark, the way it patted dirt into the edges...and whispered, almost afraid to ask, terrified he’d be wrong...or that pointing it out would make the figure furious with him, “...sis? ...that you?”

The figure paused for a moment. 

-big sis is coming to get us-

There was a sense of calm love as the figure continued trying to fix the jar. “Sorry, I’m not. But she’s near. ...she cares about you very much, you know? I hope you get the chance to see that soon. I would tell you that she’s been walking on the path every now and then, but...that sounds a lot like I’m trying to trick you, doesn’t it?”

The figure laughed softly, something sad but patient in its voice. “You can choose what to do on your own. No one else can decide that for you, least of all those assholes.” The figure huffed, glaring out into the darkness. Its fury towards the men in the dark still present. “But...you’re not alone, you know? I’m here. Your sister is around here somewhere, and I really do hope she finds you like I did. And there are a lot of others too. I mean...you’ve been watching them fall.”

Sighing, the figure carefully held the jar back out to Tom for him to inspect. “I don’t have enough to fix it by myself...I’m sorry. But...I don’t think it will hurt you to hold. Try holding the bottom against yourself--let’s see if it fills.”

Tom smiled dryly as he took the jar back from the figure, a little disappointed it wasn’t Maki. She had always seemed to know what to do...or, was willing to fake it if she didn’t. And she had loved them. Other then Itch and Aba? She had been the only person Tom had ever known who had actually, genuinely seemed to love him. Even the man who had claimed to be their father for a short time had only loved the ‘idea’ of them. Some damaged children he could will back to health, ready to do so right up until he had realized how difficult a task that was actually going to be, afraid for his other, better children.

Still...this felt different. Not Itch’s love--and it was love, for all of his brother’s faults. Not Aba’s, which had been one of the first love of friends Tom had ever experienced. Had marveled at it, stunned anyone could love Tom and Itch for exactly what they were. Not Maki’s love, full of expectation. Full of hope for them.

It was just some weird...love of a stranger. Unreliable and yet...calm. Nice. “Weird.” Tom snickered, before taking the stranger’s advice, and carefully holding it against himself, not really expecting much.

...it pinched. And some of the light still leaked out. But….

Tom held the jar close as it filled, slowly but surely. And as it did, Tom’s face became more troubled. Surprised, then troubled, then...he laughed as his eyes burned. Then eventually the laughter stopped, and he just cried, clutching the container to himself...before looking up at the figure miserably.

“...are my friends o-okay?” Tom asked, looking around at the bodies falling from the sky. Suddenly immensely concerned that any of the bodies could actually be people. Could actually be Aba or Itch, and he just hadn’t noticed. “D-did the worm get them yet?”

Nothing about the figure changed, but there was the sense that it was smiling softly. “Your friends are alright. I don’t know if they can get to you, though, since they’re on their own mounds, but they’re okay. They haven’t fallen to the worm yet.”

“...I am worried about them, though…” the figure sighed. “One was on the path, a long time ago. Was tugged off by another, convincing her to make her mound separate from the rest. And the other...he jumped from his mound, not that long ago. Thankfully he was close enough to the path that someone caught him and helped him back to his mound, but...he’s not happy to be there.”

“Like with your sister...I hope you can find them again soon. They need help too.”

Tears flowed down Tom’s face, just so miserable and tired now...but he held the container as close to himself as he could, not wanting to let that feeling go. Didn’t want that awful, empty feeling to come back. Didn’t want to be empty…

He looked up at the figure from his sitting position, frowning. “Who the heck are you, anywa-”

And that’s when he opened his eyes. He was in the room they had put him in a few days ago. It had a door but no windows. Windows were too dangerous, though the sentiment had been wasted on Tom, who hadn’t moved once since they had captured him. At most just thrashed in his sleep sometimes, before becoming absolutely still again.

But when a guard came in to collect Tom to start preparing for his trial that afternoon, he was startled to find Tom sitting up, looking down at his stomach. Looking confused.

Tears streaming down his face.

-

Tsumugi Shirogane was brushing her hair. She didn’t have too, and especially not here. But she liked the motion of it, that feeling of self-maintenance and self-care. It made her feel productive, even when she wasn’t. And Dr. Ford had a lovely mirror anyway, so, why not? 

“You know, if I could help it, I think I’d be you all the time? It’s so much fun! People just come in our office and just..listen to me! They tell me their problem and I give my advice, and when they argue and disagree with me? I just tell them they’re angry because they’re feeling defensive against their own insecurities.”

Tsumugi giggled, looking back at Dr. Ford, who was tied to his recliner chair, an annoyed expression on his face as she said to him sweetly, “It shuts them up every time! Who knew being a therapist was so plain easy? Way easier than being a mom. Ugh.”

“...it’s meant to be a responsibility. These people are putting their trust in me...in you, right now.” Dr. Ford grumbled, having long given up on trying to talk this creature into letting him go, and now just...trying to damage control wherever he could.If the creature was going to insist on coming to him for advice, then….at least maybe he could still help some of his patients. “...so is being a mother, for that matter.”

“What?  A responsibility? You bet it is. I’m constantly having to get that kid babysitters. And she whines so much. I have no idea how the other Tsumugi put up with it. She’s quite plainly not worth it.” Tsumugi sighed, now working on the other side of her long, blue hair. Oh well. At least this body was lovely. Quite an upgrade from her usual plain features, picked to keep herself blended in with the crowd.   Beautiful, long blue hair...legs for days...a rack that won’t quit. “God, I’m horny.” Tsumugi muttered, annoyed as she checked herself out, before saying, “Ah! That reminds me. Kaito. Have you thought about his concern of being ‘monstrous’ around his husband? All I could think to say was, ‘really? You’re feeling monstrous ‘now’? Wait until the spores really start hitting you, then come whining to me about being a ‘monster’...but I had a feeling that wouldn’t have helped, huh?” She laughed, winking at Dr. Ford through the mirror.

Dr. Ford sighed...in a way, he was extremely lucky. His wife and child had both gone off to holiday this summer, and it would be another month still before they would be back. He doubted neither he nor them would still be alive if they had been here. But man...being locked up in his own house was incredibly frustrating. Especially with a creature as flighty as this.

“...the term you want to look up is ‘Moral Injury’.” He explained, gesturing to the book s on his bookcase, “Where I showed you to find PTSD symptoms. It’s a bit of a hot button issue right now for everyone working in therapy in Dicea. We’re expecting to see reports of it skyrocket with all the veterans returning. Based on your second hand accounts of what Prince Kaito is concerning himself over….it sounds like it could be a case of that. Though its impossible for me to say without more time with him, in perso-”

Tsumugi waved her hand dismissively at him. “Would you calm down? We’re not actually trying to fix him. I just need to give him things to talk about when his husband inevitably asks how his sessions are going. Moral Injury. Okay. Give me the back of the box definition.”

“Simply? It’s when someone witnesses or is forced to perform an act that goes against their own moral code. Shocks them. It functions a great deal like PTSD, but the damage comes from offense, rather than fear. Still, symptoms are usually roughly the same. The individual becomes prone to depression, indulges more in addictive behaviors-”

“Ah. So that’s why his libido is upticked. I thought that it was weird that the stress behavior wasn’t coming first. Especially considering his history of medicine.”

“This is only a theory. You can’t say for certain why any of this is happening after only two sessions with him, and it’s dangerous to suggest to him otherwise. Diagnosis can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Tell someone how you expect them to act, and regardless if they were going to beforehand or not, they’ll find themselves acting to fit the diagnosis.”

“Again. Doesn’t matter. Focus, Doctor. What else?”

“...and is more prone to outbursts of anger.” Dr. Ford sighed.

Tsumugi clapped in delight. “Oh, perfect! That covers so many of his symptoms! I can use Moral Injury to deflect for ages then!  Any specific treatments?”

“Without getting to know Kaito myself? Nothing I’d be willing to recommend. If he actually has Moral Injury, putting him on the wrong treatment path could do as much, if not more, damage as doing nothing at all-”

“Again. Doesn’t matter! Whatever, I’ll just keep telling him mindfulness and exposure therapy. He seems to like it well enough. Oh, and I think I’m gonna throw my hat into the ring for his ‘exposure therapy’ when it comes to his increased libido. That could be fun.”

“...what?”

“Oh yeah. I convinced him to masturbate in our office bathroom last meeting! It was a riot! I couldn’t believe he actually went for it. Plainly said? I think he’s got a thing for us, Dr. Ford. He won’t even look at us, sometimes.”

“...please don’t do that. Many patients develop difficult feelings for their therapists...it’s a side effect of being someone they convince themselves to trust and confide all of their feelings too. Taking advantage of that position over someone is a truly despicable act, and if you had any concern at all for the mental well being of that man in the future, you wouldn’t-”

“One of these days, you’re really going to comprehend what I’m saying to you, Dr. Ford.” Tsumugi sighed, putting down his wife’s brush, and turning back to look at the man with a calm, plain smile. “It doesn’t matter. Not even a little bit. We’re all going through all this trouble so that my queen can get a friend of hers a pet he’ll enjoy to lift his spirits. That’s it. That’s all it is. That’s all you are. Pets. Seedlings. Fertilizer.”

And, because brushing her hair had been entirely pointless, she twitched, and suddenly he looked at Doctor Ford  with a warm, if plain, smile, smoothing down his beard a bit as he said, “Now, I have to go soon. Ready to go back down to the basement? Don’t answer. It really doesn’t matter what you say.” he laughed, getting up to go do it.

-

Mr. Ouma was ill. When she had interviewed for the job, she’d been aware of this, that there would be days where Prince Kokichi would not be able to work, his health failing. She hadn’t thought it would happen in her first week, but she hadn’t expected her coworker to faint from a panic attack her first day either, so...it was just something to roll with. 

She had expressed her well wishes to Mr. Momota, hoping he could pass them on to Kokichi, and had smiled to herself when a groggy voice came from the room and said that she could pick out and arrange a desk for herself in the office, he wanted her to have first pick anyway. 

It was very sweet of him. She would have to pick up some tea for him as well, but the box she had in her bag was for Mr. Saihara. 

Getting to the office, Nadya picked out one of the desks and moved it over a little to the side of the room. Easily able to face and talk to any of the others working, but...a little secluded, giving them the space to talk without her being in the middle. She was well-aware that she was the outsider here. 

Sitting down, enjoying the morning light coming in through the frosted window, Nadya started to open the letters she’d picked up from the post office earlier, sorting them by type of work, as was her job. 

Shuichi showed up an hour later. 

He wasn’t even sure if he should have. His schedule these days was to wake up and eat  with Maki, who after breakfast dropped him off to Kaito for his dose, while she went to go train with Lake. Then Kaito took him downstairs to do some light exercise while he trained the kids, before being brought back up to shower, then dropped off to Kokichi in his office to work until the afternoon, until either Kokichi was done, Kaito had picked him up, or Maki picked him up.

His schedule, carefully managed, carefully controlled. Only just...a tad mindnumbingly infuriating.

And that was largely why he was here. Kaito had been ready to get back to Kokichi as soon as he could, but the two of them had still had a long talk outside the door if Shuichi should even be here, if Kokichi wasn’t here to watch him. They could ask Nadya, but...that was a lot to put on a person, and no one knew her that well yet. Kaito hadn’t wanted to bring it up to her at all, but Shuichi…

He was going to go crazy, if he was brought back to the prinecs’s room to sit quietly, or brought to Maki to go walk patrol. Now that he was using his mind for stuff again? It was infuriating, to sit and do nothing. Bored out of his skull, everything aching, nothing but the...thoughts and memories in his head to occupy him. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it anymore. He needed something to do! 

So he had begged Kaito to at least ask her, and was now standing in the corner, as Kaito went to her sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head as he finished, “So, yeah, we’re not asking you to, like...hold him down or anything like that. Just to come let us know if he decides to leave the office on his own. He’s really, genuinely not allowed to leave this room at all unless me, Kokichi, Maki or-” Kaito stopped to think about it, before adding in, “It’s unlikely, but a housekeeper named Hajime and a healer named Seiko could also come pick him up, if they had too. If it’s not any of us, and he leaves with someone else, or leaves on his own? We would really, really appreciate you coming to let us know right away...it’s okay if that’s too much responsibility. We’re asking as a favor, it’s not part of your job description. Please feel free to say no if it makes you uncomfortable.”

It wasn’t her business, but Nadya would’ve had to put quite a lot of effort into blocking out the world to miss how Mr. Saihara was treated by the others. He was ill and...she did understand someone in that sort of position needing constant care. As well as resenting that help. She didn’t know enough about the situation to really be able to help but...if Shuuichi was having a ‘good day’? She could keep an eye on him. Report to his friends if anything happened. 

So Nadya gave Mr. Momota a smile. “I appreciate the trust you are all placing in me to even ask this. Further, I have grown used to Mr. Saihara’s work, and it would be rather odd to go a day without it, especially in addition to Mr. Ouma’s absence. If it is simply making sure that Mr. Saihara does not leave without a friend--those who you have listed--I can do that. If no one has come by the end of my work-shift, however, would it be acceptable if I escorted Mr. Saihara to your room, Mr. Momota?”

Kaito hesitated for a second, glancing back at Shuichi...who just rolled his eyes. “I’m not gonna run from her the second she takes me out of the office, Kaito. I’m not crazy.”

“No, buddy, didn’t say you were! Just wanted to make sure you felt comfortable with that, Shuichi.” Kaito chuckled, giving Shuichi a placating grin, “But you will stay with her, right?”

Shuichi nodded, giving Kaito a dry, annoyed look, who responded with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck as he said to Nadya, “He really is incredibly smart and super responsible! Just is...going through a thing right now, that’s all. Yes, if after work you could drop Shuichi off at our room...but not just right outside of it, okay? Make sure he actually goes into the room...um, that’d be perfect! Thanks! Okay! Come here, you.”

Kaito went to the corner that Shuichi had tucked himself, pulling Shuchi into a hug, who relaxed into it after a moment, before Kaito kissed him on the temple, patting his shoulder reassuringly. “Okay! We’ll see you this afternoon, kay bud? You can come back sooner if you get tired, alright? And remember, Kokichi is totally fine with you taking naps on that couch. Don’t push yourself if you don’t have too, kay?”

“Kaito, please…”

“Okay! I’m going! Have a good day at work you two! Thanks again for your help Nadya!” Kaito said, giving Shuichi one last warm grin and a wink, “Bye!” before closing the door behind him.

Shuichi sighed, adjusting his hat, before giving Nadya a somewhat bashful look. “Sorry about that. He’s just...trying to be responsible. So, what am I researching today?”

Like she always did when Kaito and Shuuichi said her name, Nadya smiled a little, as if amused, but she waved goodbye to the prince in a friendly manner before turning to Shuuichi. “We have a letter regarding the water levels of the Blue Bog in northwestern Dicea. To best address the concerns, would you compile the monthly meteorological reports of the area for the past year? I have collected the appropriate ledger, and from my brief survey it looks like all the information is consolidated in regular form.”

“Unfortunately, without Mr. Ouma working, the analysis will have to wait, but having the information ready for his return or to hand off to Mr. Fukui will be immeasurably helpful.”

Normally, that’s where they separated for their work, but Nadya hesitated, reaching into her beg before walking over to Shuuichi and presenting a box of tea. “Please forgive my familiarity, but...Mr. Ouma mentioned that you have some ails. I have found that this tea blend does wonders for relieving the aches of the body, as well as can be simply a nice drink to have to calm down with. If you would accept it, I wanted to convey my hopes for your recovery.”

Shuichi blinked in surprise, before accepting the box, staring at it in befuddlement before bowing to her slightly, “Thank you, that’s incredibly kind. Um,” Shuichi looked around somewhat hesitantly, but of course, in this pseudo-dark age fantasy realm we have trapped ourselves in, there’s nothing really convenient like, say, a kureg or something equally ridiculously 21st century, or even, like, an oven with a kettle, because why would there be a-

“Oh! Look at that...did you bring the kettle and hotbox yourself then? I saw it when I walked in, and just assumed it was Kokichi...again that’s incredibly thoughtful, Nadya. Um...would you like me to put some on for us? Or, I don’t know you actually wanted to drink it yourself…” Shuichi said, not really knowing how to accept the gift without finding himself wanting to immediately offer it back.

Nadya shook her head, though there was that little amused smile again. “I was not the person to bring the amenities in, though it is rather convenient for the gift I wanted to give. I inquired about it to Miss Harai, and she explained that it is for our use in this office--an aid for refreshments during work, without having to go downstairs. It is rather thoughtful.”

Giving him a kind smile, Nadya shrugged. “If you would wish to share with me, it is a blend I also enjoy. It has become a habit for me to wish for health in more physical gestures--I can only hope they help as I intended.”

The hotbox was on the desk that none of them had claimed and didn’t really belong to anyone...but Shuichi sometime got the impression that Kokichi hoped it’d be Kaito’s someday. No matter how much he offered or encouraged, their lover still hadn’t quite gotten his head around that he technically had a job waiting for him, if he was just ready to try it. Everytime one of them brought it up, Kaito always ended up making some excuse or promising to do more without ever following through. He likely meant it when he said it, but...Shuichi knew Kaito didn’t really think he fit into an environment like this. 

So, because of that, his desk was now the hotbox and kettles desk, and Shuichi wasn’t surprised at all to open up a drawer and see mugs packed inside, likely provided by the kitchen staff. 

Taking two out, Shuichi took the kettle, about to ask Nadya to see if she could go fill it with water, but was surprised to see it was already filled. Shrugging at the narratives total lack of interest in working out the logistics of this tea scene. As the teacup started to heat, Shuichi looked down at the teapackets and..

He tried not to let her see. He knew it was paranoid. But carefully, with his back turned to her, he opened up one of the tea bags, carefully inspecting it. 

Anything familiar? Anything unusual? Discolored? Powder? What was that? Licking a tip of his finger, Shuichi carefully touched the specific part of the ingredients he found most suspicious, and then carefully brought it up to his tongue, tasting it.

...hm….hazel?

Probably not poison.

Not his pollen, definitely.

….well, yeah, obviously….

Drugs? Any drug of any kind? Was it going to send him to sleep? Paralyze him? That last one was harder. If it was something for pain, then there was probably some muscle relaxer in here, at least an extremely mild version. Harder to tell when you were expecting to find something like it. 

...he’d be careful drinking it. 

Pocketing the ruined bag, he put a new one in the kettle, and let it boil as he said to Nadya, “Is giving gifts to encourage health something you used to not do? What started the practice? I mean, if you feel like sharing.” Shuichi asked, shrugging a little, as he went to pick up the ledgers, taking it back to his desk.

Nadya had found that the archival work was something she could more often do without needing to focus too hard, so she idly started on one such letter while Shuuichi set up the tea. And...she was a little surprised when her coworker kept up conversation. He had always been polite, if strained when his body was fighting him, but they’d never really...talked. 

She and Kokichi talked a little, him asking how practice was going, her asking about what it was like being at the head of a nation...but nothing very in-depth. 

“Hm, I might have misspoken. In the village I grew up in, it was a common practice to give gifts to the ill or struggling. The bare minimum, in actuality--it was much more common for the community to come together to care for whoever was ailing, providing them with meals and care, and oftentimes going so far as to aid in cleaning their home or tending to their gardens or...any such applicable thing that the individual was not able to tend to in their illness.”

Smiling at Shuuichi with good humor, Nadya shrugged. “There are a quite many more people in the world than in my home village, so my participation has limited itself into gifts for those who I frequently come into contact with. Coworkers, teammates, and neighbors, chiefly.” 

“Oh...that sounds nice.” Shuichi said, watching the tea boil, once again feeling something that all the Luminaries were kinda struggling with, though each of them in different ways. Maki seemed just sort of baffled at the generosity that seemed to come so easily to the Dicean people , but otherwise was unconcerned by it. Kaito literally couldn’t fathom most of it. And Shuichi…

...well, it’s not like he had loved Luminary. Hated it, actually. The lack of despair pollen in his life hadn’t changed his feelings there.  But he found himself feeling weirdly defensive as he said, “It’s pretty common where I grew up to have friends and family watch over ill people. Not to the...extent that I am right now. But, it was usually always considered a good idea to have someone who cares about you stand watch, while you weren’t able to protect yourself. Or, uh...take care of yourself, I mean. Here, do you have a preferred mug?” Shuichi asked, holding up two mugs, one maroon, one white. 

Pouring the tea in the mug she pointed out first, he brought her the tea, before going to grab his own mug. Leaning against the desk for the moment, he carefully watched to see if she would drink first. “So...from a village to a...baseball star? To a front-line fighter? And now an administrator in the castle...that’s, uh, that’s a lot. Is this where you meant to end up?”

Nadya nodded, pointing to the maroon mug. “Protection is a valid reason as well. A trusted friend is invaluable, and even more so in any environment that may cause you harm. Whether from wildlife or people looking out for opportunity to gain in their own interests, there is a sense of comfort in having someone watch your back that I doubt much compares to.”

It was one of the most human instincts, in Nadya’s opinion. To ensure your own safety by ensuring someone else’s, trusting that they would do the same for you. The basis of community, started with two, and expanded to whatever worked. A few million, in Dicea’s case. 

Taking a sip of the tea, she sighed happily, the warm, earthy flavor bringing comfort that might’ve just been placebo at this point, but really did seem to help people relax. The Earth Mother’s blessings at work. 

Setting her mug to the side to cool for a moment as she continued the report, Nadya laughed softly. “Is it? I suppose that in itself is purposeful. My home village is off the beaten path, so to speak, and we don’t often get new people coming to live or leaving to find their own way. It nurtures a tight-knit community, but it can be…” she trailed off, giving Shuuichi a sheepish look. “Boring. Closed to new perspectives. I left in search of excitement, so if my path looks unconventional, then it is by design.”

“What about you?” she asked. “Please forgive my assumption, but...I get the impression this is not what you thought your life would look like.”

Shuichi saw her drink, and decided to wait. It was always possible she knew he’d be waiting for her to drink, and then as soon as he had taken his sip, she’d administer an antidote to herself and….

...sigh….she’s not trying to poison you, you paranoid Luminary fuck…

Reluctantly, Shuichi took a sip of the tea. It was...nice. The flavor dark. Warm. That was good. Opening up the ledger, his eyes lazily looking over the table of contents, knowing he’d be slower trying to talk, but kind of...enjoying talking to someone who was not on his team of wardens (well, okay, technically she was now, and technically it wasn’t fair to call his friends wardens, and technically technically technically), he snorted to himself as he said, “What gives you that impression? Do I, the resident foriegn enemy drug addict, not look like I have my life put together?”

He laughed at himself a little, before looking up somewhat guiltily at her, before looking back down to the ledger. “Sorry, I don’t mean too...no, this isn’t what I thought my...um, hey, what’s with the goggles?” Shuichi asked, not wanting to whine and moan to this person, already kind of feeling like a freak in her eyes. “I’ve been trying to guess since I first saw you. Is it for baseball? Fashion choice?”

“You are no enemy of mine, Mr. Saihara.” It was gentle, but she left it at that. He was dealing with enough, and while not an enemy, he didn’t need another combatant, let alone one that was practically a stranger. She also got the impression that work was something of an escape for him, and she was not one to ruin an escape. 

Laughing quietly, Nadya unhooked her goggles from around her head, leaving them in the space between their desks if Shuuichi wished to inspect them. “They are rather useful for baseball, and I like to think they are stylish, but the prime reason I wear them in not for either of those options. They are corrective lenses.”

“At the time I left my home, I did not wish to bring very much with me, simply for travel concerns. Instead of needing a pair of glasses and then some form of eye protection, I opted to combine them into one item.”

Shuichi nodded, looking at the goggles with some more interest. Reaching over, he picked them up for a moment, looking them over...before peering through them…”ouch.” He muttered, putting them back down gently, returning to his seat. “Still, that’s handy. I imagine you’d want to be able to see for baseball.”

The detective suddenly laughed, an amusing image in his head as he asked, “I don’t suppose a baseball bat was your primary weapon for the front lines? I know from rumor that some weapons brought into the battlefields could be...unorthodox. Silly. Someone swore to me once that they saw a man shooting metal balls with his tennis racket at people. I still don’t know if I believe them or not.”

Nodding, Nadya took her goggles back, slipping them back on her head. She was near-sighted, but not terribly so, so for everyday life she didn’t exactly need to wear them. But, yes, for baseball, and for traveling, they were great protection as well as a needed aid. 

Huffing in amusement, there was something of a sly smirk on Nadya’s face. “Especially for Diceans, at times people simply fought with whatever they could find. I do not consider that specific rumor very outlandish. I did not use proper bats in my time at war, but you could say the muscle memory carried over.”

In one desperate situation, she’d simply dug a dagger into a loose piece of fencing, using the large piece of wood like a bat. It had been an excellent tool for creating space, and considering what they had learned about Luminary’s military, it likely hadn’t killed anyone either. Blunt force could be surprisingly dangerous, but for all of the horror stories of Luminary...their soldiers were taken care of. Any of the soldiers she had wounded had likely been treated with medical care before anything tragic happened. 

The amusement on her face died down after a moment, a gentler expression replacing it. “...I hope I do not make you uncomfortable, given that I fought against your countrymen. As I said, you are no enemy of mine, and while I have no love in particular for Luminary, they are no longer an enemy either.”

Shuichi thought of the tea bag torn to parts in his pocket and smiled slightly, “No, of course not. We all knew what to expect when we came here. It’s not like I wasn’t prepared to talk to soldiers. Or...however you refer to yourselves. I’m just glad you don’t feel uncomfortable working with me. I’m assuming you would have mentioned it to Prince Kokichi by now if you were. I’m certain no one warned you you’d be working with a Luminary before you signed on, after all.”

He glanced back down at his ledger, sipping on his tea again. It really was very good. He liked it more with every sip. Could maybe use some sugar, but what couldn’t these days.  Idly, he asked, “How long were you down there for? The front lines I mean?”

“No. You are an unofficial employee, as Mr. Ouma says, and considering my own presence seemed to be a surprise, communication between the hiring office and the reality of Mr. Ouma’s workflow seems to have a disconnection. That said,” Nadya offered Shuuichi a smile, “I have enjoyed our time working together, short as it has been. You have an eye for detail and organization that has encouraged me to follow in your suit, and I believe it will save many people time and stress in the future.”

Pausing for a moment to double check information she was meant to archive, Nadya took a sip of her mug before answering. “I offered my hand for two years. Not a particularly long time, especially compared to many others, but I find little pride in comparing time. The war has ended, and that is of the most importance.”

Two years...Shuichi thought that was a shame. More likely then not, two years out? The Ouma family must have been discussing the conditions of the peace agreement they eventually sent to the Momota family. The war was just starting to end, when Nadya volunteered for...well, for a lifestyle that she otherwise could have comfortably avoided her whole life, probably. 

...but it didn’t matter. You couldn’t predict wars, and by the time she had volunteered, anything could have happened. Kaito could have pushed a boy into the dirt and that boy could have refused to marry him because of it, for one. Or Kaito could have died to the effects of the pollen, with no one the wiser as to who had killed him, for another. Kaito could have left before the wedding had even happened, choosing Maki and Shuichi over the peace treaty, and continued running from there...anything could have happened. The war could be going on right now, for a thousand different reasons.

Perhaps he should stop asking her about the front lines. He was curious about it, sure. Maki hadn’t had much to say about it, when she had returned from whatever her mission had been. Had said it was hot and there was a surprising amount of smoke, but that had been in the middle of summer and fires had been breaking out in the forests due to the battles. Other then that, reports varied. Some people spoke of horrors upon horrors. Others claimed it actually hadn’t been that big a deal, and that they had seen very little action, even in the fray. 

It all probably had to do more with luck then anything. Most things did.

As Shuichi read through the letters, things quiet for awhile, a new question occurred to him, though he waited until he had some of the information he needed collected for Kokichi to inspect later before looking up at Nadya. “So, are you trying to become a politician then? Is that the next step in your adventure?”

While she had craved excitement and adventure for so long...it was nice to be home. Maybe the next new thing that captured Nadya’s attention would be...familiar comfort. Enjoying the peace. Seeing what peace really meant in a city. Building a life before she left on her next journey. 

In part, not knowing what was coming was part of the excitement. 

And though she didn’t have much of a plan, what Shuuichi asked was so unexpected she couldn’t help but laugh. “Pff-ha! Sorry, oh my, it is a reasonable question, I just-!”

Calming her mirth, Nadya shook her head. “No, I have little personal interest in politics, and I do not think I would be suited for it, honestly. I applied for this position because I come from an academic background, and I thought my skills would be helpful in assisting with the minutiae of politics, rather than the decision-making. In short...I know how to write and file paperwork.”

“And...I do not think it has hit me yet, but from the advice of my seniors...I am likely to not appreciate idle free time as much as I used to.” Patting the documents in front of her into a neat pile, Nadya’s smile was bittersweet. “Especially in the off-season, I am left with quite a lot of time to myself, so I decided to use that time to help Dicea in a different manner.”

Shuichi nodded. “Yeah, free time is nice up to a point. I can absolutely sympathize with that.” Shuichi sighed, finishing up the latest bout of research, motioning to Nadya to pass on the next thing to him. After she did so, he started shifting through the other ledgers, looking for the correct one. “But past that point? It’s...I don’t know...rotting. And awful. Your brain just...atrophies. And the only thing that’s getting through is the worst of you and…”

Shuichi flushed, not having meant to get that candid with the stranger, before saying, “I mean, just...yeah, I can understand that….”

He sait in silence for a little while, after that. Embarrassed to really say anything else.

Nadya’s expression softened and she nodded slowly, looking over her work. “Having time to think is something everyone needs, but having nothing but time to think is maddening. Many have explained it like you have, Mr. Saihara.”

Other veterans had warned her that now was a good time to pick up a new hobby. Something to occupy your time and mind--hands too, if you could find something. Everyone had been looking forward to rest once they got home but...too much time to think resulted in reminiscing. Thinking about the first time you saw someone’s light leave their eyes. About the slight resistance a blade had against a body before it cut through. Things that no one should have the experience to imagine, let alone handfuls upon handfuls of memories to draw from. 

And it wasn’t just them. From the little she’d learned, Mr. Saihara hadn’t been a body in the war but...that didn’t mean that there weren’t things he needed to be distracted from. And the careful way his friends handled his illness...left quite a lot of freetime. 

There had been silence between them again before Nadya spoke up. “...outside of research, do you have hobbies you enjoy?”

Shuichi frowned slightly at this. Well, that was a question he had heard a few times now…well, once anyway. And it had worried him, back then, how just...not good an answer he had. 

And he still didn’t really have a good one as he shrugged and said, “I like to learn about people, and...I like making sandcastles, I guess.”

Feeling that, still,  wasn’t a good enough answer, Shuichi added in, almost as way of explanation, “I used to be a detective, back at home. It didn’t leave me with a lot of time to explore other things. Um…” everything else he could think of were hobbies that Maki and Kaito had tried to draw him into and failed. Kaito would take Shuichi to parties that bored him to tears, Maki would take him to sports games and into the woods to walk, which had been fine enough, he guessed. But other then that… “Nothing else really comes to mind. What about you? I know baseball, but anything else?”

Nadya snorted slightly. “I am not your therapist, but having other things to occupy your time helps. In a way, this job acts that part for me.”

A detective...quite a busy job indeed. And since Shuuichi had come to Dicea with Prince Kaito, then he was likely a royal detective. ...very busy. And the less about yourself that people had the ability to exploit, the better, most likely. 

“I enjoy sampling teas,” Nadya said with a slight smile, raising her mug to Shuuichi for a moment before taking a drink. “And I like to read old research journals. On anything, really. I find it interesting to see how people thought about the world and what they learned long ago.”

It was hard to find any contemporary sources on magic research, after all.

“I can get behind that.” Shuichi agreed, at least in the sense that, well...researching anything was kind of fun. “I was trying to research Danganronpa not that long ago. And there is just...something up with that place. Everything I read just reinforced that to me. There’s this book in the library? It’s meant to be a fiction book based on real events, but some of the details are so specific, and I bet if I re-read it now, knowing everything I know now…”

It wasn’t the first time Shuichi had thought that, but, he one: couldn’t convince anyone to take him to the library, and two:...kinda also didn’t want to go. It was tough...but still! The Danganronpa thing.

Setting aside his ledger for a second, not even really looking at her, or talking to her, half just ranting to himself by this point, he said, “There’s something weird about that whole kingdom. I know there is! I tried bringing it up to my friends once down in the dining hall, but they think I’m still just, I don’t know, losing it from the rehab stuff. And, sure! Maybe!  That could entirely be the case! Observer is biased, obviously. But! But...like, the book I was reading was old, right? It wasn’t crazy old, but it was old enough! How old is the current leader of Danganronpa? Unless the answer is almost four hundred years old, then the book doesn’t make any sense! ...unless maybe there’s a tradition of leadership being named Junko Enoshima in Danganronpa, which is of course entirely possible...but the medical embargo! What’s up with that!? That’s weird, right!?” Shuichi asked Nadya, looking openly exasperated.

Nadya looked up from her work, openly surprised and amused by Shuuichi’s ranting. He reminded her of some of the other young scholars in Falcon’s Hollow, completely absorbed in their research and delighted to rant about specific nuances like the effects of weather on elemental magic to anyone who asked even a semi-related question. 

“It is an odd kingdom, though I do not think, as a Dicean, I have much room to judge that. I am sure their embargo makes sense at some level in government, but from an outside perspective, you are correct. It seems counter to the development of medicine as a whole.” Giving him an interested smile, Nadya crossed her ankles as she turned more towards Shuuichi. “It sounds to me you are still interested in researching Danganronpa. While you may not be able to travel to conduct research on your own…”

Nadya regarded the supplies they all had in their desks. Paper, pens, envelopes, ink… “...you are in the hub of knowledge in Dicea. There is nothing stopping you from writing inquiries and sending them out.”

Shuichi looked around, a spark of interest in the idea...he was convinced there was something going on with that kingdom. A mystery...a case...

(...this stuff makes you dumber, Shuu.)

...maybe. He maybe had a case on his hands. Kinda. Or, maybe it was like his friends had said and it...well, no one else seemed to think it was all that unusual, everything going on with Danganronpa. Maybe he was just missing something…

Well, it wasn’t going to hurt anything to make inquiries, right? Just to read and research on his own time? What could it...what could it hurt?

...where would he start?

Shuichi considered everything at his disposal, and smiled hesitantly. “Yeah...that could be fun.”

Like what she saw when Shuuichi got absorbed in his work, there was a light that brightened him up. Interest. Understanding. A drive. It was lovely to have the opportunity to see. 

Smiling back at Shuuichi, Nadya nodded. “If you pursue that line of research, I would enjoy hearing your findings, if you find yourself wanting to share. To think that such a large kingdom would be able to hide something from the world, travelers nor immigrants letting it out...something like that would be quite amazing to discover. And even if it turns out to be a cultural quirk, there is still much value in learning about the world.”

She hoped he would look into it. Despite whatever he might find...the process seemed to interest him. And that was what life was about--finding the things that made you happy.

-

Gundam stormed out of the house.

He didn’t usually keep seedlings in the house...it was important to keep work and personal life separate. Confusing the two tended to...well, confuse things. But, well...he guessed he still hadn’t! Nope! No fucking seedlings in his house yet! 

He was going to kill Souda.

...no, no he wasn’t. But fuck! The skinny idiot had...fuck!!

Gundam didn’t like to use the needle. It was a last resort way of giving someone their dose of spores. He preferred, whenever possible, to convince the humans to want to be seedlings first. But Souda, that crazy bastard...

It was a better life! And he wouldn’t let it hurt them! He vetted all of his customers carefully. Flora weren’t allowed to abuse his stock, weren’t allowed to push them beyond their limits. And he never left them in heat any longer than they had to be! The second their heats started, he started setting up meetings with said customers, helping out the latest Flora coming to him with a strong desire to spread their seed. 

A lot of his customers even wanted to be parents!  Flora who actually wanted to raise their children came to him because Gundam had a reputation of treating his seedlings exceptionally well! They always survived their pregnancies! They were healthy and happy! He set up jobs and reached out to retirement facilities he trusted long before any of his seedlings hit their fertility limits, so his seedlings had no reason to be afraid or run away or try to harm themselves! Any proud Flora parent could take comfort that their child was in safe, reliable hands as it developed, resting inside a seedling who had no motivation to harm it!

It was a good life. Souda just needed to...accept it!

But, no. The man had resisted every single method Gundam had ever used to coax or drug his humans, and had finally resorted to just administering it directly into him by needle. And the fucker….had cut himself open…

Once Gundam had stabilized him, stitched him up, and bound him back into his bed to sleep, he had left the house in a huff, needing to get away from the human for a while. He was going to kill him. He was so mad. He was going to take him to a field and dig a hole and…

...he wasn’t. 

He liked Souda.

And, honestly? He had never had a seedling fight him this hard before. So clearly, steadfastly against the idea of changing. Sure, most humans were scared at first! Of course they were! Usually the humans Gundam bought from the auctions were fresh from Luminary, confused as to what was happening, having never even heard of the concept of seedlings before Gundam explained it to them, were still stunned that ‘Plant people’ were a thing. They’d try to argue with him, beg him to send them back home...but would quiet down when Gundam explained to them all the benefits of accepting their new lifestyle. They’d live longer. He was going to keep them comfortable and happy their whole lives. He would buy them medicine when they were retired and work with them to settle into a life they could enjoy. Being a seedling wasn’t the end of the world! Any good breeder could make their lives exceptionally happy!

And...did they really want to go home?

After Luminary had just sold them to plant monsters?

And his seedlings calmed down and sometimes cried a little but eventually started going along with the treatment. And Gundam followed through on all of his promises to them. His seedlings were taken care of. And happy. And…

...and it had made Souda constantly miserable to be around them. He had stopped eating in despair at some point, and seemed determined to starve to death, to the point Gundam believed he really meant to go through with it. Deciding maybe the human just needed a new environment, he had taken him home and..had at least kind of been correct? He had started eating, anyway. But the comfort and relative isolation of living in Gundam’s home rather than his work had given Souda the confidence to get angry. To argue, just, all the time. Saying he had never wanted to be a seedling. Saying he didn’t want to be changed! That he didn’t want to lose his mind, even for a little while! That it terrified him! Begging Gundam to reconsider. 

And….Gundam was starting to kind of...understand.

The human was brilliant. It was actually insane. He just invented things...idly. Like it was nothing. Brilliant ideas falling off him like dandruff. Almost every day, coming home from work, there was some new...thing? In Gundam’s home. A device to warm bread. Light that didn’t require gas, but wires of some sort? A strange cylinder device with a trigger that did nothing when Gundam had pulled it, that Souda had said, depressed, was supposed to push out objects at high velocity, but….he had gotten depressed with the idea halfway through making it and had stopped.

Gundam had a feeling he should be grateful that Souda, for all his hatred of Flora, didn’t actually seem to have any violent instincts. He got the impression he’d be dead by now, if the human really wanted.

Easily the most impressive thing to him was when he had come home, gone into the living room to find Souda asleep on the couch, the chain connecting him to the wall loosely around him, having rolled around in it in his sleep...and as Gundam had gone to wake him up, ready to try a different method to convince him to take his spores, a little...square box on wheels had bumped against his foot.

Gundam had looked at it in bafflement, before moving his foot, watching the little box shoot off into the rest of the house, and he had looked over the couch again, Souda’s eyes blearily open and blinking miserably at him as he said simply, “Horseless carriage,” before turning around and burrowing into the cushions of the couch, going back to sleep.

Gundam just...had a genius. 

And somehow had to convince that genius to fulfil his purpose as a human...humans were supposed to breed for Flora. That was...that was why humans existed! And humans who didn’t? Flora didn’t...they didn’t like seeing humans in Danganronpa. Even if they were working useful jobs. It was borderline offensive, and it was assumed that any human who was working and wasn’t a retired seedling? Was Spore Intolerant. An abomination, useless...Flora didn’t treat humans well...not like they treated seedlings, even retired seedlings.

Souda would never be accepted by Flora society if he wasn’t a seedling. Even with all of his brilliant ideas. Flora would always treat him badly, would openly resent him, abuse him, if Gundam didn’t turn him into a seedling before showing the world how brilliant his latest stock was. Souda had to be turned into a seedling, pop out a few Flora, and then Gundam could retire him and Souda could live the life he was actually dreaming for!

But Gundam just couldn’t convince Souda.

He was explaining this miserably to a friend of his. The daughter of a breeder, who had actually been raised by her seedling father, she was one of the few Flora Gundam could come to about these things and, while she wasn’t exactly sympathetic, just due to her nature, she at least didn’t resent humans for existing outside of being seedlings, having listened to her seedling father talk fondly of his species for as long as he had been alive  (a fact about Celestia she kept close to chest for all but a few. It was something of a mocking thing, to be raised directly by a seedling. Gundam was one of the few people who even knew, as he was mentored by her breeder father.), Celestia Ludenberg took a long sip of her tea after he was done complaining, and said, “So, the issue is he does not wish to crazy, yes? Simple. Medicine. You already buy it for all your other seedlings. Why not him?”

“He...I tried pitching that. The issue is he’s grown up here. He knows the medicine isn’t perfect, and takes a while to work. He knows he’ll lose his mind at least for a little while, before the medicine can stabilize him. And I still would have to let him go into heat occasionally...he’s terrified of the heat. He burst into tears when he realized one of my Divas’ was past the aftermath of her pregnancy and was about to go into heat again, scared to even just watch her go through it. It’s why I had to bring him to my house. Well, that and the eating thing...”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Celestia sighed, sipping her tea again. “You’re getting overly attached. You know that, right? It’s what happened to my fathers. Father got far too attached to daddy...he sometimes cries even now, if you bring daddy up to him. It’s quite pathetic.”

“You don’t believe that.” Gundam sighed. Her father not the first case of a Flora falling in love with one of their seedlings he had seen. It was something mocked in Flora society. But...Gundam had seen it too many times to not know those feelings between the two species were valid. The Flora really did fall in love with their seedlings...as foolish as that was.

….fuck, was that happening to him!?

“I’m not getting too attached.” Gundam said determinedly. Ignoring Celestia’s disbelieving little ‘tsk’. “I’m not. He’s just...he’s so smart Celestia! It’s incredible! I’ve never seen anything like it on a human before. Hell, I’ve never seen it on a Flora! He’s so brilliant...and I...fuck…how do I convince someone that smart to just be dumb for a little while! Just for his own good!?”

“...well.” Celestia sighed, looking around her little tea-shop. Well, it was hers now. When Daddy had finally been retired from breeding, Father had bought him a whole tea-shop to run, to give him something to do for the rest of his life. Now that Daddy was gone, Father didn’t like to come here anymore, but Celestia was still trying to take care of the place....though she was thinking of stocking it with another retired seedling, just to take some of the day to day tasks away. “...maybe you should talk to father? You know he’s been...well…”

This...this was the tricky bit. 

See, looking into the old way of breeding wasn’t necessarily…’illegal’. But every breeder knew it suddenly got the attention of the queen, when they started so much as talking about it, let alone researching it. The queen had had many, many conversations with her father now, wondering why he was looking into the old way of breeding when the current way was so effective? And every time her father had to assure the queen it was just...academic curiosity! My queen! Of course the current ways were the best ways, but certainly just...researching the old ways was harmless?

And she would, according to Celestia’s father, reach into his mind, shifting through his thoughts and memories and feelings, looking for signs of...disloyalty. Or distrust. Or rebellion. 

...and thankfully Celestia’s father didn’t actually have any of those things. But it still made Celestia’s skin crawl when he described it. And Gundam...well, he probably didn’t have any of those things either. So, maybe it wasn’t too dangerous to pitch this idea to him…

“...he’s been researching the old ways of breeding. Before the queen came to power?” Celestia said...and paused.

Gundam, too, stiffened.

It was always jarring, feelings the queen's third eye just….suddenly focus on you.

“...yes? I know. Why do you bring it up?” Gundam said testingly, the queen not actually saying anything to them. Just watching. Listening. It was okay. She just wanted to know what was going on. That was the queen's job. They just...needed to trust her. So he continued on, “Has he made any progress lately?”

“Progress I’m not sure about, but he has made some new theories as to how the process used to affect the seedlings. And according to some of his theories?” Celestia held up delicate, jeweled covered fingers, counting out the benefits. “They kept their minds. There was no stress stimulus switch. And, most importantly, it was automatically temporary. The spores never lasted longer than needed for the pregnancy-”

“Which was a benefit...how?”

Both Flora froze. Celestia gripped her cup tighter. Gundam closed his eyes to better see their queen, as she smiled broadly down at her, two versions of her in their minds. One that was always there, the massive, watching, protective presence constantly surrounding the hive mind. And a smaller, more personal projection. The queen talking to them specifically as she said to her two Flora. “Sorry! Don’t mean to interrupt! I just got so confused to hear that Seedlings being temporary was a benefit, somehow? Could you explain it to me?”

Celestia forced herself to relax, not needing to close her eyes to see the queen, her connection to the hivemind stronger than Gundam’s. “I didn’t say so, my queen, I was merely pointing out some of the effects-”

“You thought it.” The queen laughed, giving Celestia a wink, before pointing to the middle of her forehead. “ I heard you~. The seedlings being temporary was the number one reason we had to replace the old system. Our reproduction numbers couldn’t keep up with literally any other species on the planet, because seedlings were only good for one, maybe two Flora, before the seedling in question refused to produce any more. We were the smallest species on the planet, before we changed the process. So...how is it a benefit?”

“My queen, we merely meant as a hypothetical for a human I have in my charge. He’s...his mind is incredibly competent and-”

Junko rolled her eyes. “Sure it is. You know how many breeders I get, insisting some human or another is the ‘exception’ to the rule? Honestly, Gundam, you’re so good at what you do! I always watch your work with such pride! Don’t ruin it getting caught up in some human.”

“Am...my queen, I’ll defer to you if you say it’s not allowed, but...could I not at least look into the old ways of doing it for this one, specific human? Just to see if it's an option? And once I do so, if I could present to you the human, prove to you that he really is exceptional...I mean...if you would be so gracious as to let a humble breeder try…”

Junko sighed dramatically, her edgy persona leaking out as she stuck out her tongue, “Ugh! I hate talking about the old ways of doing things! We abandoned all of them for a REASON, you guuuuuys!!...but~!” She said cutsily, beaming brightly down at Gundam. “I hate denying my Flora anything~! Fiiiiine!” 

Stiffening into a more professional air, Junko crossed her arms. “You may look into it. But, I insist you keep all research to yourself, and I reserve the right to tell you to destroy it at any time. Do you understand, Gundam? And I’ll want to meet this human before you do anything with that research. You may work with Ludenburg to explore it. Just to satiate both of your curiosity. Okay? This is academic research. Not practical experiments. Do I have your understanding?”

Gundam nodded. “Yes, my queen, I….ahh-” 

Gundam stiffened, feeling the queen's eyes looking into him...through him...picking him apart and staring curiously at the parts...before she left, causing Gundam to sigh in relief. Nothing that distressed her found.

“Good! Alright, you two! Don’t mind me! It was lovely talking to you both!” The queen cooed, before the personal projection vanished. Just leaving her massive, never-ending presence, as it always was.

The two sat in silence for a while, before Celesita finally felt calm enough to take a sip of her tea. “So, yes...I’ll let father know you’re going to pay him a visit.”

“Thank you,” Gundam said. Hands shaking.

-

Kokichi curled up miserably around the pillow in his arms, shivering despite the blankets tucked around him. Last night had been weird, but whatever. He’d felt just kind of groggy and out of it and had basically been awake to eat dinner and cuddle with Kaito a little more before he fell back asleep. 

That morning, though, he hadn’t woken up until Maki came by with Shuuichi and… The fever was obvious. The first thing any of them had noticed. But his head felt foggy and his body ached, and...Kokichi knew he wasn’t going to be able to leave bed today. At least the office had been ready so he wouldn’t have as much of a risk infecting Nadya and Shuuichi but...it still sucked. 

They’d sent word to Seiko and she was going to stop by...at some point. When she could make it. He wasn’t exactly going anywhere so…

Groaning, Kokichi tried to stretch out some of the more painful parts of his body (unfortunately his hips, which had large bruises across his whole lower back, though Kokichi hadn’t mentioned it to Kaito) before giving up and curling back up, trying to conserve heat.

“Back, babe!” Kaito announced, giving a small courtesy knock before coming inside, closing the door behind him, looking tired. He hoped he had made the right decision leaving Shuuichi with Nadya. He was...well, Shuuichi wasn’t exactly better, but he wasn’t any worse than usual, so…

Ooph. And now he had another one on his hands too. Kokichi…

It looked to Kaito like it was another one of Kokichi’s ‘rough’ days. Where his joints randomly turned on him...but then there was also the fever, and had that been there the last time Kaito had seen this? They had sent for Seiko because of the fever, and Kaito, a little selfishly, was worried about when she got here, her looking Kokichi over. He was, again, selfishly, a little worried that maybe this...wasn’t, just a random ache day for Kokichi, and might have more to do with someone, ya know...hitting his midsection against a wall over and over again.

...yeah. Kaito...probably shouldn’t have done that. 

Fuck. Kaito had to be more in control of himself when he was touching Kokichi! He was just so...tempting to throw around! And Kaito always found himself giving into his worst instincts with the guy. And, sure, yes, Kokichi liked it...of course Kaito wouldn’t do it if Kokichi didn’t like it! But…

As he observed his husband still curled into his blankets, looking pale and sweating and still trembling from the cold, Kaito debated with himself whether temporarily doing something exciting to Kokichi while they were sleeping together was worth his husband's aches and pains later. There were plenty of more gentle things Kaito could do with Kokichi that didn’t require his husband to be hurt! Fuck.

Kaito’s self-beratement, hopefully, didn’t show on his face as he set down the tea he had brought up from the medbay, where he had stopped by after dropping Shuuichi off. It wasn’t his usual medicine, Kokichi not recovering from a heart attack or anything. He had just asked the healers for something to help with the fever and the pain, and they gave him this to, as they put it, ‘take the edge of it off, though it’ll make him sleepy’.

He wasn’t going to make Kokichi drink it, but it was here if he wanted it, and putting it down, he went over to his husband and sat down beside him, leaning over and kissing him on the forehead as he said quietly, “Hey beautiful. How are we feeling?”

“Hi, Kai-chan…” Kokichi managed a small smile for his husband, not wanting to worry him any more than just the worry his ill state garnered. He was positive none of this was from yesterday, so not Kaito’s fault but...he had a feeling Kaito would blame himself anyway. It was sweet that Kaito took so much responsibility unto himself but...not really that he blamed himself for everything.

They were working on it. 

Shifting a little Kokichi sighed, not wanting to go into the extent of how he felt, but opting to give Kaito something. He didn’t want to shut him out, either. “...’m really cold...but I know I’m not actually, since I’m sweating like it’s the middle of summer. Can’t really get comfy but...I can deal with that. It’s dealable.”

Kokichi weakly rubbed one of his eyes, slicking some of his sweat away with a sigh. “Sorry ‘bout this...but thanks for stickin’ around. ...you said Seiko was gonna come around later?”

Kaito nodded, nodding at Kokichi ineffectively trying to get the sweat out of his eyes and getting up to go grab a clean washcloth from the bathroom. There and back, he said, “Yeah. Asked a housekeeper to send a message, which hopefully she gets soon. I’m sure she’ll be here as soon as she can, but for now-”

Sitting back down, he started gently patting the sweat off Kokichi’s face, clearing his eyes first, then moving on to his hairline as he said, “I swung to our healers downstairs, and they sent me back up with some tea? Should make you feel a little better, but they said it’d probably knock you out too. Up to you if you want to take it babe, or wait for Seiko, see if she has anything better for you. Here we go…”

Patting his cheeks dry, Kaito moved onto his neck, noting the bruises there with concern before internally sighing. The bruises probably weren’t hurting Kokichi. They never hurt Kaito, back in the day. So that was fine...it just looked more alarming then it was, when Kokichi was feeling sick. Kaito loved to see the bruises when Kokichi was happy and bouncing around, but when he was pale and curled into bed? He just...it didn’t look right, his little love bites. Made Kaito wish he hadn’t put them on him in the first place.

Kokichi eyed the tea tray, having wondered what it was. He trusted anything the castle healers thought would help him out, but… “Nmm… It’d kinda suck if Seiko came out here and I was asleep...but I might be anyway.”

As much as his body hurt, Kokichi felt exhaustion weighing down upon him, and, truly, even if he didn’t take the medicine the castle healers prepared, he would probably be drifting back off to sleep before too long. So...if he was going to be out anyway, he may as well take something to help him out. 

Waiting for Kaito to finish with his neck, Kokichi scooted himself up the bed a little, propping himself up. He gave Kaito another smile, gently placing his hand over his larger one for a moment while it was near. “Thank you… Kai-chan is really good at taking care of me. I think I’ll take the medicine, but try to wake me up when Seiko comes by? And if I don’t...I trust her to like...take my temperature ‘n shit while I’m asleep.”

So many healers had done that for him over the years. At least he trusted Seiko more than a lot of them.

Kaito smiled gently back at him, before leaning over and kissing Kokichi gently against his cheek (he wasn’t worried about getting sick himself. They shared a bed. If it was contagious, Kaito was basically doomed anyway) before saying, “‘Course babe. I’ll be watching either way, kay? I’ve got you.”

He trusted Seiko of course, too. But keeping an eye on what healers were doing was just part of taking care of someone. It would have been cruel, in Kaito’s mind, to leave Kokichi defenseless. Maybe one day Seiko would get to that level of trust where Kaito was willing to look past the fact that she was a healer, but for now...of course if Kokichi was still asleep when she came by, he wouldn’t leave her alone with him. That’d be crazy, 

Getting up to grab the tea, Kaito poured it out, nose scrunching slightly at the smell (he wasn’t really a fan of tea himself, let alone medicinal tea.) before bringing it to his husband, sitting back down and handing it to him. It made him feel better that at least this wasn’t, ya know…’not able to hold cups’ sick. God, Kaito was not looking forward to seeing that again…

It was okay. Kaito didn’t mind Kokichi being sick. The attention it took to take care of him. If anything, this was sometimes the...easiest times for Kaito, mentally? He understood his purpose when this happened. Focus on Kokichi getting better. Easy. No guesswork, beyond ‘what might help?’ Just...yeah. It was okay.

“I left Shuichi with Nadya, and she said she’d drop him off when they were done this afternoon with work, so if you hear her later and you’re half asleep, that’s what going on.” Kaito said, “And, yeah, except for Seiko, anything else you wanna be up for? Lunch? Wanna try getting some food in you then?”

Kokichi sipped at the tea, making a bit of a face at the bitterness, but he kept drinking it. Finish your medicine, it’ll make you feel better. Eating something a little gross was well worth not feeling like his head was in an oven while his body was on ice. And, hey, maybe it’d help his aches too. That would be cool. 

Humming a little as he drank, indicating to Kaito that he got what he was saying, Kokichi sighed as he took a breather. “...I really appreciate how well Nadya-chan’s been taking all this...think I should re-negotiate with Hideki to give her a higher pay. We didn’t really specify ‘should be able to handle sudden medical emergencies’ in the job description…” It was one think to expect that your boss might miss chunks of time, but another to get help when your coworker faints and then to keep an eye on him because your boss is out…

But he was happy to hear that Kaito and Maki were willing to trust Nadya with Shuuichi. Shuuichi was doing better these days, though with the apparent hiccups, and Nadya was reliable, at least where it came to work. Kokichi thought that it was a good skill to translate. 

Sighing and making another little face, Kokichi shrugged as he huddled down in the blankets more, shivering. “Probably should… Not really hungry, but that’s not a good reason to not eat anymore… Don’t feel nauseous, at least.”

“Well, it’s sorta nice that everyone who ends up working for or around us gets raises,” Kaito laughed, thinking of Hajime. He still needed to congratulate the guy properly for his promotion. And, uh, honestly sit down and really thank him for how reliable he had been during the trip. That had been...kind of a lot to spring on, essentially, a random housekeeper. Katsuki was a guardsman and Seiko was a healer, and the two of them were used to crisis, in their own way? Hajime? Dude dusted and did laundry. Terrorist kidnappings weren’t his usual wheelhouse, Kaito was pretty sure.

“I’ll have some easy food brought up for lunch and we’ll see how much you can get down, yeah? It’ll be good, you’ll feel better once you’ve got some real food inside of you. Man, I will never get over Dicea’s obsession with sweet food.” Kaito chuckled, rolling his eyes a little, “I thought that was just a ‘you’ thing, but Dr. Ford does it too. Sweetens all of his pitcher water with sugar. I’ll never tell him, but ugh...it kinda makes me gag a little. Why ruin perfectly good water with sugar?”

Kokichi raised an eyebrow, looking at Kaito curiously from over his pillow. “Really? That’s weird to me too. I like sweet drinks, don’t get me wrong but...water? Water’s water. Sugar water is...like for bugs. Or hummingbirds, though they should really have nectar…”

Snorting, Kokichi closed his eyes as he mused, “What a weird thing… Especially for somewhere you’re supposed to destress. Don’t really need a blood sugar pick-me-up if you’re already an active Kai-chan…”

“...you have therapy today, right?” Kokichi cracked his eyes open. “Guess I won’t really be able to pick you up...sorry, love.”

Kaito immediately felt nervous. His first instinct was to say that he’d cancel. He’d rather be here and watch over Kokichi...but he was only allowed to cancel for emergencies, since the sessions were court mandated. Dr. Ford had said he’d consider non-emergency situations, but that it would affect his grade…

“If you want, before I leave, I can ask someone to come up and sit with you? Ikou?”

Kokichi laughed softly, snuggling down into his pillow. “Just like old times… Yeah, if you don’t mind, if you could find my dad...I’d like that. I think I’d be alright on my own but...better safe than sorry.”

As the princes discussed their plans for the day, Seiko kept her head down as she made her way to the west wing stairs, not sprinting this time since it wasn’t an emergency, but still trying to be prompt. A fever, if Kokichi was still coherent, and it wasn’t dangerously high, wasn’t so much of a big deal. He might’ve just caught a minor bug, as he was prone to do, and with some fever reducers and rest, he’d be alright. 

She was still going to look for anything that might be more serious, of course. 

And after that...hopefully she would be able to speak with Shuuichi alone. She would tell the others what she’d found but...he deserved to know first. It was his body and…

...well, potentially, his child.

“Will do, babe. I’m sure Ikou would love to spend some time with you.” Kaito said, running his hands lightly over Kokichi’s leg through the covers, trying to massage the muscles there a little bit. “And I’ll try to get a Fein story today, yeah? I think it’d be okay to get one, so hopefully I can entertain you with that by the time I get home.” Kaito promised with a small grin. 

“Anything else you want, beautiful? I could..oh! We could read some of that circleworld book together! Or, I could massage your back a bit? Til you fall pasleep? Just let me know. We have plenty of time before I have to go anywhere.”

A massage sounded nice--Kokichi had been happily blissed the last time he’d had a bad day and Kaito had swooped in to save the day from his achy joints--but...if Kaito touched any of his bruises… It had been nice. Definitely worth some bruises. But Kaito would beat himself up about it and…

“Mmm… Reading some more sounds nice. I kind of like doing it this way, stretching the story out. Maybe by the time we finish, the next one will be out.” He knew Kaito had to get up to get the book, but Kokichi laughed quietly as he cuddled to Kaito’s side, his natural warmth feeling wonderful to his chill. 

However, reading would have to wait a little bit. There was a knock on the door, followed by a soft voice. “Kokichi? Kaito? Um, it’s Seiko...Kimura. May I come in?”

“Doors unlocked, Seiko, come on in!” Kaito called out, mostly as a joke, and...literally deciding in that moment that the next bit of free time he had? He was getting a fucking lock installed on that damn door. He wasn’t even going to ask anyone’s permission. How much could it possibly cost to install a lock?

Kokichi had explained to him once why there was no lock. Not being able to have access to Kokichi while he was hurt was a concern...but it was a concern for anyone. Literally all the time. Maki could accidently bounce a knife back from her planks and gut herself and they’d be delayed by several minutes getting to her if her door was locked. Shuichi could be randomly locked into his room by a psychopath librarian. Kaito could accidentally knick an artery, fall, hit his head on the table, and bleed out in his shrine

Shit happened. Privacy was worth it. 

Seiko quietly entered, giving the princes a wave, just missing the half-amused look Kokichi shot Kaito. 

“Good morning, you two… Kokichi, I w-was told you have a fever, and general body aches?”

“Mornin’, Seiko,” Kokichi sighed a little and turned over to face the doctor, still huddling down in his blankets until she asked otherwise. “Thanks for coming… And yeah. Sometimes my body just hurts, that’s no biggie...but the fever is something different.”

Nodding, Seiko brought a cylindrical container out of her bag, popping it open to reveal a thermometer, asking Kokichi to hold it under his tongue for a minute so she could gauge how bad his fever already was. While his mouth was occupied, Seiko looked up to Kaito. “Anything else? Sometimes it’s easier for other people to spot things when you’re not all there…”

Kaito gave Kokichi a somewhat sheepish look, but couldn’t help but say, “He might be downplaying the aches...do you have anything that would be good to put on, say, bruises? Big bruises? Oh, and he’s already had a dose of medicine from the healers downstairs, to ease his fever and I think had some mild painkiller in it? And he’s tired. He’s basically been asleep since before dinner yesterday...oh! And before you leave today, can I ask you for something? Just...actually, nevermind, I’ll just stop by your pharmacy later.”

Seiko nodded, taking everything in as she watched the red line in the thermometer rise. “If he’s already taken a form of painkiller, then I don’t want to double up...but a topical reliever for bruises wouldn’t cause any harm. And, Kokichi, if you’re tired and sleeping so much, then your body needs that rest. Honestly...I think that’s mostly what you need, th-though I’d like to double check that there’s nothing else going on…”

Giving Kaito a slightly curious look, Seiko hummed. “I’d need to go back to get something for bruises anyway...so I can just bring whatever you need then too. But...ah…” She looked around, as if the room would suddenly change as she looked at it again.

“Is...Shuuichi with Maki today? I was hoping to speak with him, while I’m here…”

“He’s working in Kokichi’s office. If you want, I can show you where it is.” And he’d ask about the lube packets on the way. Kokichi knew Kaito wanted them, but he just didn't want to embarrass him by asking in front of him. “And I actually have to go into town at some point today, so I can bring everything you want to give Kokichi back after my therapy session? Unless you think it’ll help for him to have it right away.”

Seiko took the thermometer from Kokichi when the minute was up, turning it around to show him afterward. “Definitely a fever, and high for you, but nothing dangerous. The medicine you took will most likely t-take care of the rest.”

Wiping down the thermometer with a disinfecting wipe before closing it back up in the travel tube, Seiko gave Kaito a grateful smile. “I would appreciate a guide, if you have the time, Kaito. And unless the bruises are from an underlying condition, which I would hope you’d mention large bruises showing up apropo of nothing, no, it won’t hurt to wait a few hours. The ointment I have in mind will just help them fade faster and will dull the pain a little bit, though I don’t recommend applying any unnecessary pressure onto the affected areas.”

Seiko performed a few more tests, checking Kokichi’s vitals and cognition, but when his blinks started to slow, she stood up with a kind smile. “A-alright, we’re done… It does look like a mild virus. Something that generally wouldn’t cause flu-like symptoms in most people, but would for immuno-compromised people. With rest and a fever reducer, you should be just fine in a day or two, Prince Kokichi. A-and I know all the healers here know to look out for if your fever rises so…”

“Prince Kaito, while you may pick up the virus, as I said, it shouldn’t do anything to you. Just try to listen to your body, and if you start to feel off, get some rest.”

“Got it , Doc. I’d be fine either way.” Kaito said confidently, before looking over Kokichi with a warm gaze, running his hand through Kokichi’s hair for a moment, before leaning in and kissing the top of his head as he said, “I’ll be right back, ‘Kichi. If you’re still awake when I get back, we’ll read a bit, kay? And if not, then we’ll read when you get up for lunch! Love you babe.”

Kissing him again, just in case he’d be asleep by the time Kaito got back, the Luminary Prince went to the door, grinning brightly at Seiko. “Let’s go, Seiko! The office is super nearby, and I know a shortcut! It’s the creepy little tiny hall, I hope you’re not claustrophobic. Kokichi just showed it to me yesterday.”

Walking her down, Kaito said, “So, I’m assuming you just want to give Shuichi a checkup while you’re here. I appreciate that. I know you’re busy with a lot of stuff right now. Any word yet on the people who attacked your store?”

Seiko smiled to herself at the display of affection, Kokichi sleepily humming and responding to Kaito’s doting. They could be incredibly cute together, and anyone who thought that Kaito wouldn’t take on the world for Kokichi’s smile didn’t know a thing they were talking about. It was hard to sway people from what they believed was correct but...it was incredibly difficult to fake the affection the princes showed to each other. Hopefully they’d be able to convince the naysayers too. 

Following Kaito’s lead, Seiko sighed a bit. “Not on who exactly they are, no. But the discovery that they don’t have many or widespread allies is...something of a comfort, I suppose. It means that it’s not much more than the two Miss Hina reported, or...that whoever was behind it isn’t in Dicea. At least the travel time involved with sending directions across the border means that there’s more time for interception…”

“...I’m so grateful for everyone’s help… There’s nothing the investigation has been able to prove as of yet, but I have my own suspicions o-of why I’ve been targeted and…” There was a certain determined fire in Seiko’s eyes, her hands fists as they clutched around the strap of her bag. “...if I’m right then...my research is more important than ever.”

Startling, almost as if she was embarrassed to be talking as she was, Seiko waved her words off. “A-ah, but I mean… Yes. I want to have a check-in with Shuuichi...since I’m here anyway…”

“Well, I know there’s not...a lot I can help you with. But, if there’s literally anything you can think of that I could do to help? Please don’t hesitate to ask. You’ve been really invaluable…”

Kaito hesitated...Shuichi’s story about Seiko’s behavior when he was with Nao just...nagging at him. 

...but, what was he going to do? What was he going to do...he was literally surrounded by people who had hurt his loved ones...what was he going to do…

Kaito blinked, shaking it off. He’d talk to Dr. Ford about it later. Or pray about it. Or just...try not to think about it. 

“...and you’re my sidekick! So, seriously, never hold back, I am here for you! Anything you need!” Kaito swore, opening the door to the weird little hallway, walking her down it, he suddenly flushed and laughed awkwardly, “And, to segway into something entirely unrelated...could I buy any small packets of lube from you? Sorry, I know that’s a little uncomfortable, but I really just need like...lots of little packets of lube. Like..like twenty of little packets of lube. If you sell them?”

Seiko gave Kaito a grateful look. “I appreciate that, but...really, the most important thing you can do is something you’re already doing. Keeping Shuuichi healthy and safe. My notes can be re-written and buildings can be fixed, but a life is an inexchangeable thing. His recovery would mean a lot to the medical community but...at the end of the day? His recovery means that Shuuichi would be healthy. And as a healer...that’s all I wish for.”

Even if his recovery in particular would look a little different from the others being treated for their spore addiction…

Coming off from such a heartfelt declaration, it was a bit jarring how Seiko snorted. “Is that all? It’s not uncomfortable, Kaito, and, yes, I sell smaller, disposable portions of lubrication. Every pharmacy and clinic is required to have them available under our sexual health laws. If you only wanted twenty, it’d be free.”

“Oh, really! Awesome! Thank you so much, Seiko, I really appreciate that. I’ll pick them and Kokichi’s medicine up on my way back from therapy. Awesome.” Kaito laughed coming up to the office, and knocking on the door. “Hey, it’s Prince Kaito! May I come in?”

Shuichi looked up from his desk, frowning. “Shoot, I just found the discarded city plans for Yulsai…coming, Kaito!” Shuichi called, glancing over at Nadya before getting up and heading to the door, “Hey, Kai..oh. Hello Dr. Kimura.” Shuichi greeted, immediately feeling more tired. He knew she only showed up to help, but man...he just sorta associated her with new medicines and new symptoms and new shitty days...again, not really her fault. He was just grumpy. It had taken a long time to find those old city plans. “Did you need me?”

Nadya looked up briefly, giving warm nods to Prince Kaito and the doctor she’d fetched from the city the other day--Dr. Kimura, who she had learned was both Shuuichi and Kokichi’s primary healer. She had likely come to check over Kokichi in his illness and...maybe checking up on Shuuichi?

“Hello, Shuuichi,” Seiko greeted, feeling...a little bad for what was going to happen. But he deserved to know, and really...the sooner the better. “I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment about your symptoms?”

Shuichi glanced at Kaito, raising an eyebrow. “Is that why Kaito’s here? Am I doing another debrief?”

“Hmm? Nah, bud, just showing her the way to the office. How’s the day going, Nadya? Everything going alright? Seiko, you taking Shuichi to your office down in medbay, or, do I have an excuse to go get a coffee and get to know my husbands coworker better?” Kaito said, grinning cheerfully at Nadya.

Seiko seemed to waver in indecision. On one hand, it might...be a good idea for Shuuichi to not be very far from his room. On the other...she didn’t want to just...force Miss Milai from her work. However, seeing Seiko’s trouble, Nadya put her work to the side and stood, giving the doctor a smile. 

“It has not been terribly long, but it is rarely a poor idea to stretch one’s legs. In addition,” Nadya returned Kaito’s smile, “I would be pleased to come to your better acquaintance, Mr. Momota. Please, Dr. Kimura, feel free to use our office for the time being. Mr. Saihara? Would you also enjoy a coffee?”

“Please, Nadya, thank you. And Kaito, if you could-”

“Literally drown it in sugar?”

Shuichi smiled. “Yes. Thank you.”

“All about it, handsome! Alright, let’s go Nadya! I want to hear all about this baseball thing of yours!” Kaito insisted, holding the door open for her, before closing it behind him. “Won any games? Championships? Shuichi thinks you’re famous, so…” Kaito’s voice disappeared into the distance, as Shuichi just sighed.

“So, is it a new medicine thing?” Shuichi asked, adjusting his cap as he looked at Dr Kimura, trying not to be too cross with her. Again, it wasn’t her fault he was annoyed. Fucking Yulsai. Why did they want their old city plans anyway? They had rejected the city plans for a reason, right? Didn’t they already build the city!? Why did they need to reference a theoretical, worst version of their city!? Yulsai!??

“In...a way…” Seiko sighed softly, twisting the strap of her bag before letting go, pulling up the chair in what she assumed to be a spare desk. “...please sit, Shuuichi. I analyzed the urine sample you gave me, and…”

She sighed again. “Shuuichi...I’m not ordering you, and I don’t mean to come at this from a place of authority, but...for your health, I really need you to be honest with me. Have you had penetrative intercourse?”

Shuichi stiffened.

“...” he took his hands to his hat and lowered it, staring at the darkness under the brim. He should leave. He should leave. He should have never allowed Kaito to leave him alone with her. Oh fuck he was alone with her. W-what the fuck Kaito!? What, he wasn’t worth watching over?!

Hr should leave, he should go, she was going to hurt him…

“...I don’t know.” Shuichi said, feeling the entirely irrational urge to lie, before shutting his eyes tight. Stop. Don’t be stupid. “...yes?”

“Why?”

Seiko closed her eyes for a moment, nodding to herself. She’d thought so but...this confirmed it. “Well...because of that, I’m fairly confident saying you don’t have stomach cancer, so that’s good…” she started.

“However, it does mean that...there is a very high chance that you are pregnant, Shuuichi.”

“No I’m not.” Shuichi said automatically.

He gripped the brim of his hat. Eyes wide under its cover. 

“No I’m not. It was...it was once. It was once. It only happened once. I-It was b-basically my first time! That’s not fair? Not even I’m that unlucky. I’m a guy. This isn’t something that can happen to me. It was once!”

Shuichi, curled onto his chair for a moment. Struggling to breath. No, no, no, stop it. She’s lying. Don’t have a panic attack. She’s lying.

Shuichi took a few steadying breaths, stared at the ground for a moment... before raising his cover. Glowering at her.

“So, what!?  What do you want?” He asked her. His hands shaking, and absolute...fury in his eyes. “You think, what?...Y-you can control me? T-turn me into some sorta...fucking science experiement...th-they won’t believe you. I’ll tell them you’re lying. You’re lying. I’ll…I-I’ll fucking destroy you…”

Even if it was once...anyone with the ability to become impregnated could have it happen even with just one interaction. And considering that his body had been doing everything it possibly could to conceive a child…

Seiko stood, concern written all over her face as Shuuichi seemed to have trouble breathing, but as it leveled out and he switched to fury… She took a deep breath. She was the person with power here, so it wasn’t fair for her to lash out. 

“You might not be, but the levels of HCG in your body either point to that, or cancer cells,” she explained, voice steady. “Since you have had penetrative intercourse and are capable of being impregnated, that is the most likely reason. I only wished to let you know as soon as possible so...you can make decisions about your health.”

“You are in rehab, and I am your healer, but the decisions of what to do about your body and any possible offspring will primarily rest with you. Whether you choose to go through with the pregnancy or terminate it, I can refer you to healers who specialize in the respective field, and who I believe will give you the best care.” Seiko gave her patient a firm look, knowing that this was...world-shattering to him, but needing to make herself clear. “I gain nothing from this, Shuuichi. In this matter, everything is up to you.”

“Shut up, stop it, shut up…” 

Shuichi shoved two fingers into his mouth, biting down. Hard. Okay, okay...ow. Ow? Man, that is not as soothing without the pollen. Think, think, Shuichi, what’s happening right now. What’s happening right now. What’s happening right now. 

Okay! What would Maki say? 

Where’s the danger? Where’s the danger. She’s lying...right? The danger was Seiko lying to him? Why? What did she want from him? Why would she say this? Why would she…

No, no, stop it. That’s...fuck, he couldn’t think…he needed more time...

“...i-if you really gain nothing f-from this?” Shuichi said, glaring at her. Still not convinced this was the case. “...th-then promise you won’t tell anyone. No one. N-no one can know…”

Seiko came forward again, already pulling out supplies to wrap his fingers. A comfort action...she’d have to let Maki and Kaito know. If they couldn’t catch his wrist before he hurt himself, then they could at least be prepared to bandage his fingers.

But as for telling them anything else…

Seiko sighed, her brow pinching in. “...I had been planning to tell Kaito and Maki after this. It’s part of your health, after all. But… Requesting discretion in a matter like this is not uncommon.”

Struggling with herself for a few more moments, Seiko fixed Shuuichi with a dull look. “...I can wait until you make a decision on what you want. Considering that in either option you will need a specialist, that is not something that I can conscionably hide. And if your friends ask me straight out if you are pregnant, I will tell them--but that’s highly unlikely, and I will not allude to it until you are ready.”

Decision? Decision? Why did she keep saying decision? Decision to...oh…

Shuichi took a shaking, overwhelmed breath, taking his hand back from Seiko and immediately shoving his newly bandaged fingers back into his mouth, nibbling on the bandage. It hurt, but there was something grounding about it. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh no…

Shuichi vaguely wanted to faint. He didn’t think he actually would. But he wanted too. He didn’t want to be awake right now. He didn’t want to be awake…

“...is...i-is there a way to...tell?”

Shuichi looked at Seiko, eyes wide and wet, his hands shaking in his mouth. “...th-they...th-they both...wh-which one...i-is it a M-momota or a-an Ouma?”

Seiko glowered as Shuuichi immediately started chewing on his fingers again but her eyes widened in a flash at his question. They...both…

“Oh…”

At the same time it complicated things and changed nothing at all. But...the decision was still the same. Keeping her voice calm, Seiko explained, “I’m sorry, there’s not. The way to find out would be through a DNA test, which we would only be able to do once the child is born. And…”

She deflated a little, not wanting to grow Shuuichi’s fear by admitting how much of this was a guess on her part, but he deserved to know. “...I can’t promise that what you’re going through is the same as a pregnancy someone with a born or transplanted uterus would have. I don’t know how the spores would affect this, other than I have a fairly solid idea that it wouldn’t hurt your child, since it allowed you to become pregnant in the first place.”

“...We know for sure that it is a Saihara. It could be a Momota...it could be an Ouma. It...well, I can’t rule out the possibility of it might even being a Saihara-Momota-Ouma. But above everything...it is yours, and your body is yours, Shuuichi. No one else can make this decision for you.”

Shuichi stared at the floor, his heart thumping in terror.

Byakuya was going to kill him.

Byakuya was going to kill him.

An Indentured couldn’t have a Momota baby! Oh fuck.

A-and, wasn’t this how Kokichi’s mom died!? Weren’t people scared he and his father were about to create a family legacy!? Fuck, fuck!! Oh FUCK!?

This had to be a lie. None of this could be real. He needed more time.

He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to-

“I want Miss Nao.” Shuichi whispered, looking around in a panic. “I need to go.”

Walking past Seiko, he headed towards the door. 

“Sh-shuuichi?!”

Seiko quickly turned, but didn’t try to shut the door in front of Shuuichi, simply aiming to keep up with him. Seeing Nao would, really at any time right now, be a horrible idea, but when he was emotionally compromised? She didn’t think Nao would try to hurt him on purpose anymore, but...just being around her would be dangerous for Shuuichi. 

And even if he didn’t see her...he shouldn’t be alone. For someone to make sure that he wasn’t going to try and look for spores, yes, but...more importantly right now, to make sure that he wouldn’t hurt himself. 

Taking a risk, Seiko pleaded, “She won’t know what to do either, Shuuichi. You have time--please take it.”

Shuichi turned on her, eyes full of grief and hated as he said, “Oh, WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?”

His whole body shaking, hands now grasping his shirt, like his heart was literally going to thump out of his chest, he shouted, “L-LET’S PUT HIM THROUGH REHAB! L-LET’S GIVE HIM A B-BUNCH OF STICKERS W-WHILE HE’S CUFFED TO HIS BED!! LET’S T-TAKE AWAY ALL OF HIS FUCKING CHOICES, cause, oh, WE KNOW FUCKING BETTER, RIGHT!?”

Shuichi suddenly giggled, that mad, panicked giggle that had been so common for him while he was on the pollen, staring at Shuichi with crazed, grieving eyes, “And NOW!? WHEN I ACTUALLY WANT HER TO TAKE CONTROL!? SUDDENLY NAO IS FUCKING GONE AND HER LACKEY HEALER DOESN’T WANT ME TO SEE HER!? SUDDENLY IT’S ALL MY BODY, MY DECISION!?”

Shuichi gripped his chest harder. Bearing his teeth to her, determined to rip into her while he was still conscious, knowing the spotting in his vision and the thumping of his heart meant he was having another stupid fucking panic attack and not caring even a little, just wanting to scream at her as he said, “YOU’RE A FUCKING DISGRACE, YOU KNOW THAT!? DON’T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME AG-rrrrhhhg.” Shuichi couldn’t stand anymore, collapsing to his knees, struggling to slow his breathing, his heart thumping in his ears now. Stop, stop, please, breath, please-

Seiko’s eyes were hurt but...she knew she deserved it. She should’ve done more. Shouldn’t have kept the secret of what Nao was doing. Wasn’t that what she had decided so long ago? That the consequences didn’t matter, as long as she helped someone as much as she could?

(But look where that had gotten her. Disgraced with a business that barely made enough to be a business. With no one talking to her if they weren’t a patient. With her work put in a dusty corner since no one wanted to collaborate with a healer who had been dismissed from one of the most well-known cases in Dicea.)

(She had been a coward. Afraid that Shuuichi would kill himself. Afraid that the strange, violent Luminaries would kill her if she tried to tell them what was happening to Shuuichi.)

(Who would listen to Seiko Kimura, after all?)

She knew it was different. How you treated someone addicted to something that would kill them, and a person dealing with a pregnancy. But she was still quietly shamed by Shuuichi’s words.

But all you could do was continue forward and do your best, hoping that one day you’d get it right.

Seiko knelt as Shuuichi dropped, going against his wishes immediately, murmuring a slow count for him to breathe to as she tried to guide him over to the couch. She couldn’t leave, not when he was in such a fragile state, but...hopefully Kaito and Nadya would come back soon…

Kaito had been walking back with Nadya, bringing up the coffees. He hadn’t been close enough to hear anything specifically he had said...but had still managed to hear Shuichi screaming his head off down several halls, and had quietly passed Nadya the coffees, before immediately booking it as fast as he could.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting as he burst into the room. Maybe, he didn’t know...attacking Remnants?  Seiko dead? Shuichi bleeding out? Something that would have justified all that shouting from his quiet, shy detective...but instead he ran into a scene that was both alarming and familiar. Just...Shuichi fighting through a panic attack on the couch, Seiko looking over him as his body tried to figure out if it would calm down before or after he had passed out.

Moving quickly to his boyfriend, Kaito gave Seiko a worried look, putting his hand on Shuichi’s forehead just to let him know he was there as he said to her, “What up, what’s happening? I heard screaming down the hall!?”

Seiko’s words were steady, though soft, that same distant, hurt look in her eyes. “I told Shuuichi one of the theories I have about his health--and I apologize, but I promised I would not tell anyone until he has had time to process it. It is of no immediate concern to his health, don’t worry. He...did not take it well.”

Shutting into herself slightly, Seiko never once stopped trying to help Shuuichi breathe. “It may be frustration exacerbated by withdrawals but...if Shuuichi does not wish for me to be his healer, I...I understand…”

Nadya quietly slipped into the office behind them, looking over Shuuichi with worry as she placed the coffees down on his desk, safely out of spill range from the ledgers. 

Kaito watched Shuichi struggle to breath. It was always scary to watch, but he knew his detective would be fine. He was going to be fine. Panic attacks were awful, but once you knew what to expect, they weren’t something to be afraid of. Shuichi would be fine.

“...Absolutely not.” Kaito said, giving Seiko a hard look. “I don’t care what he said to you. I’m over-ruling it. You’re staying his primary healer.”

Seiko looked up at Kaito for a moment in slight surprise but… “...alright. As you have experience, keep helping him breathe. I’ll get him a cloth for his forehead--be right back.”

“Seiko?”

The doctor paused. “Yes?”

“...I looked past a lot when it came to you.” Kaito said. Something...hard in his gaze. Shuichi in his hands. His body tense. “Don’t ever let me hear you try to quit on him again. I don’t care what he says. You started this. You’ll finish it...just so we’re clear.”

Seiko looked at Kaito for another moment before smiling under her mask. Something just for her. “Crystal, my prince.”

With that she quickly made her way out of the room, finding the nearest supply closet and bathroom, wetting and wringing a handcloth before returning, gently smoothing Shuuichi’s bangs from his face before placing the cloth on his forehead. 

“...he chews his fingers as a comfort action. I don’t expect any of you to always catch it, but it would be helpful to know where the nearest first aid kit is. I have already cleaned and bandaged his latest bout,” Seiko explained quietly, pointing out the few bandaged fingers on Shuuichi’s hand as his breaths started to slow.

“Got it…” Kaito sighed, taking Shuichi’s hands and, not caring about the two other people in the room seeing it, pulling it up to his lips and kissing the bandaged area gently. He remembered Shuichi asking him and Kokichi to keep the relationship a secret...he just didn’t care. He was claiming him. He wanted people to know Shuichi was his. That to Kaito, Shuichi’s care and comfort mattered...he didn’t give a shit who heard about it. Nao. Byakuya. In this moment, none of that mattered to Kaito.

Shuichi was Kaito’s. Kaito took responsibility for him.

No one was allowed to quit on him.

...Kaito took a steadying breath, before asking Seiko. “It’s not urgent. Not life threatening. And it made him fall apart like this?”

Seeing Kaito kiss Shuuichi’s fingers...both of them, huh? Past knowing that they were sexual partners, it was none of Seiko’s business, but...she hoped they were happy together. Kaito obviously loved Shuuichi, and Kokichi seemed fond of Shuuichi. Maybe was just better at discretion in this matter. 

...she wondered if Shuuichi’s decision would change depending on who the other father was. If not both. 

“It sounds like it makes no sense, I know. But that’s the truth.” Seiko looked over Shuuichi, vigilant for any signs of his attack turning for the worse. “It’s...a very private matter, so that’s why I promised him. He didn’t want me to tell you or Maki at all but...well, I gave him a deadline of sorts. He may choose to tell you before that, but...you will know eventually.”

Feeling awkward, intruding on what was another private moment, Nadya hunched down at her desk and...just tried to focus on work. Worried for her coworker, but not wanting to just insert herself where there was already history. 

“...okay. I’ll take you at your word, Seiko. If I don’t need to know immediately, then I don’t need to know.”

And if he later learned that she was wrong? 

...she was Shuichi’s primary healer. She knew more about this condition then literally everyone else, because literally no one knew anything about it at all. Kaito wasn’t about to risk Shuichi’s health just because either the detective or the prince himself had personal issues with her.

But if she was wrong? It would sure as fuck change the way he treated her from then on.

But...that was a worst case scenario. He’d reserve judgement for now. Trust that he had made the right choice in taking her on as a sidekick. In putting his faith in her...one more chance. She had one more chance. He’d trust her to not push to know what this was. Shuichi wasn’t in immediate danger? Okay...one more chance…

“Nadya?” Kaito said, looking up at the quiet woman sheepishly. “Thank you so much for your patience for today, but, uh, I think Shuichi is officially having a ‘bad’ day. So, I’m gonna make an executive decision here and say he’s not doing any more work today. Sorry again for all this fuss. I swear, it’s not normally like this!”

Which was kind of a lie, but well...that was the goal, right? For it eventually to not always be like this? They’d get there someday.

Shuichi groaned, his breathing finally under control, but dizzy and struggling to get his thoughts back together now that oxygen was returning to him as he said, confused, “Kaito?”

“Hey bud! We’re going back to the room, okay? Gonna go rest with Kokichi for awhile. Seiko?” Kaito said, and, with some effort, but fuck, what was the point of the muscles he’s developed over the years if not for this? Picking Shuichi up bridal style, he said, “Could you, on your way out, find Ikou or ask a housekeeper to find Ikou and send him up to our room? Maki’s going to be gone for hours and between getting lunch at noon and needing to head out to town at one-thirty, I just would prefer to have an extra set of hands to help me. If Ikou can’t come, ask for Hajime. Thank you. I’m still coming by for Kokichi’s things this afternoon. If you could, please add anything you think would help Shuichi to the pickup, we’ll pay whatever the difference is. Okay? Thank you...is there anything else I should know before I go? About either of them?”

There was a quiet, “It’s fine!” from Nadya, and Seiko turned, giving the woman a sympathetic look. What a job she’d gotten…

“I can find Mr. Kauzaki, yes…” Seiko assured before thinking for a moment. “...rest for Kokichi is most important, and you already know how to care for Shuuichi in the aftermath of a panic attack… Just...give him some time to think.”

Standing as well, Seiko started making a list in her head of all the things she would need to prepare for Kaito’s stop later that day. Bruise ointment, lube, and...should she start him on prenatal vitamins? She had no idea if he would actually need them, but...it probably couldn’t hurt. Better than needing them and not having them. If he decided to have the child...she would refer him to an obstetrician, but she would continue to do everything she could to ensure both his and his child’s health. 

...she would need to take this into account for his medicine...

“...I think that’s about it… You know where to find me if Kokichi’s fever rises. I’ll go get Mr. Kauzaki for you…” Giving the prince and Nadya a nod, Seiko headed out, resolved. 

“Kaito…”

“Shhh, it’s okay. Catch your breath. Just focus on breathing for awhile, handsome. We’re gonna go rest with Kokichi.  You don’t need to worry about anything other then resting for awhile. I’ve got you.” Kaito said quietly to him, ignoring the looks he got as he made his way out of the office and down the hallway, taking his husband shortcut. 

There was a small, frustrated sob that came from Kaito’s arms, and Shuichi said, “K-Kaito, I-”

“Quiet.” Kaito said, this time clearly an order. Orders didn’t affect Shuichi the way they did Maki. Obedience training hadn’t worked on him. But...he still went quiet immediately, and feeling a little bad, Kaito continued, “Please, Shuichi. Just rest. We can sort out everything later, I promise. Whatever it is can wait. Just focus on your breaths.”

Shuichi didn’t try to say anything else as Kaito got him back to the room, and only struggling with the door a little, but, he got back into the room as quietly as he could, gently closing the door behind him with his shoulder. “Okay...Kokichi might be asleep. We’re going to be quiet, Shuichi. You’re going to rest. We’ll deal with it when you wake up. Come on.”

Shuichi stared miserably at the fabric of Kaito’s shirt as he waited to be put down, relaxing when he felt himself finally be laid out on the bed. Shuichi whimpered when Kaito started taking off his shoes and then moved onto his jacket, trying to knock his hand away as he said, quietly, “I don’t need hel-”

“I’m taking your shoes, jacket and pants.” Kaito told him. No room for argument. “You were screaming at Seiko. Which means you’re upset...you’re not leaving this room. You’re resting. That’s what you’re doing for the rest of the day.”

Shuichi went quiet at that, as Kaito took the three items in question, taking all three of them and shoving them in the closet, closing the door, before going back to the bed. Throwing the cover of Shuichi, checking on Kokichi as he did so, Kaito then sat on the bed, on Shuichi’s other side, and leaned against the headboard. Sighing to himself.

Shuchi scooted closer to Kokichi, wanting his calmer presence over Kaito’s frustrated protectiveness right now. He put out a hand on his arm, wanting to hold him.

Kokichi stirred slightly, not quite waking up, but there was a break in his snuffles. Sensing a warm presence near him, Kokichi squirmed forward, pressing against the warmth that felt like heaven to his chilled, sweaty body. 

Curled up to Shuuichi’s side, Kokichi sighed softly in his sleep, and it wasn’t long before the snuffles returned. 

And it wasn’t long after that before there was a soft knock at the door. “...’s me.” And only waiting a beat, Ikuo entered, hat pulled low as he walked with barely a sound, still remembering how to move without waking Kokichi up. 

Kaito nodded at the older man, slightly relieved to see him. “Hey. Sorry to have you called up. I just needed to make sure I had a plan ready for later today. Shuichi and Kokichi both need rest today. Basically all day, it’s looking like. I don’t like leaving Kokichi alone when he’s sick and Shuichi can’t be without supervision right now, so would you mind bringing food for both of them at noon, and being prepared to stay with them for a good chunk of the afternoon after that? At least until I can get back from therapy?”

Ikuo looked over the bodies in the bed, spotting Kokichi curled up against Shuuichi. Might be a little worrisome for getting Shuuichi sick, but the doc that came by had cleared it, and a PhD was a bit more versed in this sort of thing than field medicine and the learn-by-doing firestorm of Kokichi’s childhood.

“Can do that,” Ikuo agreed, finding something funny in the same old routine of looking over Kokichi while he was sick. Some new changes though and...they were definitely changes for the better. “You want a hand now? Bunny put in some flexibility in my sched, so I can come by whenever y’all need me to.”

“I don’t plan to fall asleep myself, but...I’ll admit, I don’t want to say no to the company...” Kaito chuckled, rolling his eyes at himself a little, before shrugging. “If you don’t have anything else going on? An extra hand could be helpful, thanks. But, I don’t think there’s any real urgency before noon, if you have anything you need to get done.”

Ikuo shrugged back, pulling up a chair not right against the bed, but near enough that he could see all of its occupants. Kokichi had never liked to be loomed over while he slept, but it was important to be able to hop up and make it to him in a flash if something happened. He supposed the same principle applied here.

“Ain’t on the major rotations. Jus’ takin’ care of side chores here and there--leaves me open ta take care of ‘mergencies. If y’all need me here, than here I’ll be.” Like with so much the older man said, it was just...blunt. Like that’s just how things were, no complicated in the slightest. Kokichi had always struggled with thinking of things simply, without the hundreds of thousands of factors that tugged on each little matter, but...when he indulged in Ikuo simplicity. The assurances of his daddy. It was clear why Kokichi had found so much comfort in him. 

Kaito rubbed a hand over his face, nodding, “Okay, sounds good. Just...hopefully we won’t actually need you. Hopefully they just sleep until noon and just eat like they're supposed too and sleep some more after that and be good to eat again by the time dinner gets here and no one freaks out or refuses to eat or flatlines on us…”

Kaito kept his hand over his eyes for a second, clenching his other hand for a moment...before chuckling, dropping his hand and grinning at Ikou, tired but amused. “One can dare to dream, right?”

Ikuo nodded, casting a gentle look at his son for a moment. “Gotta hope for the best, prepare for the worst. It’s not an easy thing, bein’ with someone who gets sick all the time. Love’ll take ya far, but it wears on ya too. At some point, ya gotta face yourself and ask if it’s worth it.”

“For me, it is.” 

Ikuo looked over to Kokichi again before facing Kaito head on. “Bunny means the world ta me. So every time he falls, I wanna be there ta pick ‘im back up. Lend a hand where I can, be a place to rest when he needs it. I can’t take his path for him, but I can follow. And ta follow, I gotta make sure I don’t fall either. He can look back and help, and there are others around who’d do the same, but the best thing I can do is pace myself, and make sure I’m not overdoin’ it.”

“...ya got a lotta love, Kaito. It’ll carry ya far.”

“...yeah…” Kaito looked over to his loves. One randomly, frequently, confined to his bed, the other just...steadily losing it ever since he had gotten to Dicea.

Not to mention Maki and her….’art project’. Her tear-filled request for him to not abandon her. And the full on kid he had just decided to adopt, which fuck he was still trying to really compehend what that kind of responsibility even meant.

A lot of people were counting on Kaito not to fall. So many people...and he barely knew how to manage himself, let alone all of them…

....hopefully love would be enough. He had no idea what else to offer.

“...so, Kokichi.” Kaito grinned at Ikou, tired but trying not to feel it right now as he asked, “Any embarrassing childhood stories? Come on, man, give me some ammo. There’s gotta be something I can tease him with.”

Ikuo regarded his sort of son-in-law. ...he hoped he would pace himself. Take the time to show that love to himself, to think and be, without expectations. Hopefully therapy would give him the tools to do that. Kaito was a good kid. Didn’t deserve to burn out, and especially not at his age. Ikuo sincerely believed that Kokichi had many years ahead of him, and...he hoped Kaito would be right there with him. 

Smirking under the shadow of his hat, Ikuo had a few stories he could indulge Kaito with. “Don’t s’pose he’s told you about the dance parties he used to have with himself…?”

Kaito grinned wide, already excited as he said, “No...tell me all about it.”

-

The day went on roughly as it was expected to by that point. Lunch came in went, both men being woken up to eat. Kokichi did, Shuichi didn’t. He tried, but...he eventually just turned over and went back to sleep before talking to anyone really. 

Kaito went to his therapy session and Ikuo stayed with them while he was gone. While there, Kaito listened to what Moral Injury was, and got really uncomfortable when the therapist asked Kaito if he felt like he had been made to do anything immoral against his will lately. “No...of course not,” Kaito had responded, popping the joints in his hands nervously. “Have you seen me? I’m a six foot member of royalty...no one can make me do anything.”

And the doctor had chuckled at that and then asked if Kaito had been practicing the other physical exercise he had instructed him to to control his sexual aggression, and Kaito had gotten confused for a moment before he realized Dr. Ford meant masturbating, and confessed he hadn’t done that since the last time they talked about it, b-but he had faced his fear on that and it had ended up going fine and...oh? Uh...okay. Sure.

But can I find out what my grade is after?

And after the meeting Kaito had gone to get Seiko’s medicines and brought it back to the room, relieving Ikuo, and he gave Shuuichi the unmarked bottle Seiko had given him and he had been about to rub the ointment on Kokichi’s bruises when-

Maki knocked on the door and walked in, greeting Kokichi and Shuichi but looking to Kaito as she said, “Can I steal you for a little while? We need to...ugh. I guess Cali’s parents want to talk to us? Apparently they’re downstairs...I guess they’ve only just discovered where their daughter’s been going to every morning. Kokichi, could you stay with Shuuichi?” Maki asked him, Shuuichi just staring down at the covers hiding his pantless state despondently. “We’ll bring dinner up on our way back.”

While Kokichi was more awake, he was still feverish, somehow both pale and flushed at the same time, only not sweaty at the moment because Kaito had just dabbed at his face. In that state, he gave Maki a blank look for a moment before sighing deeply. “Oh dang. Here I was about to leave to go run my marathon, but nope, I guess I have to just stay in bed, which I totally feel like getting out of right now.”

The sarcasm was thick, but he softened it with a fond smile as he waved them off. “Good luck with Cali’s parents. If you need back up, I’m sure Haneda-chan will fight for ya. And Cali’s dad has already met her so…”

Kokichi settled back against the pillows, half-sitting up as he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself from that brief burst of energy. Kaito had mentioned off hand that Shuuichi had another panic attack so he didn’t want to press his boyfriend too much but…

“...hey, Shuu-chan?” Kokichi softly asked once they were alone. “I know I’m pretty gross right now...but can I hold your hand?”

Shuichi glanced over at Kokichi, before nodding, reaching out and taking Kokichi’s hand in his. “Sure...I’m sorry you’re sick…”

Tired, really looking for something to do more then anything, Shuichi glanced at the ointment Kaito had been preparing to put onto Kokichi, and said, “I could do the bruise thing for you, if you wanted…”

Kokichi squeezed Shuuichi’s hand softly, hoping that it brought Shuuichi some of the same comfort it brought him. “Thanks… It just happens sometimes. I’m happy that I have people who care about me around though--makes it easier.”

It was a sentiment that he always had to some extent, but...lately be found himself appreciating it more. Instead of feeling like the people who watched over him were wardens, it was just...nice to know that there was someone there. If he couldn’t sleep and wanted to chat, if he needed some water, someone who would call a healer to get him medicine… It was nice, being cared about. 

Looking over at the ointment in slight surprise, Kokichi gave Shuuichi a smile and started trying to turn over onto his stomach. “If you want to! I’d be fine without it but...I guess Kai-chan was just worried. If he went through the trouble of getting it, I may as well use it, you know?”

Kokichi shifted a bit, pulling his shirt up to expose the expansive, heavy bruises along his lower back, shivering as he exposed himself to the air. 

Shuichi blinked in surprise at the mess that was Kokichi’s lower back, for a moment genuinely distracted from his own problems as he immediately reached out to touch it lightly, making sure he wasn’t mistaking Kokichi falling into dirt or something with… “...Geez, Kokichi...what the hell? This doesn’t hurt? Your whole lower back is purple…”

Getting up with a little more urgency now, Shuichi went and got the ointment, coming back to sit beside his boyfriend and putting the ointment on his hands, concerned it was going to hurt him just to touch it before lightly spreading it on his back. “...did Kaito do that?”

“Purple…?” Kokichi looked over his shoulder in surprise and...okay. He understood why Kaito was so worried now. It looked like he’d gotten into a carriage accident or something. 

Setting back down, Kokichi sighed as Shuuichi started to spread the ointment. “...I mean, technically, the wall did… It looks a lot worse than it feels, I promise--it’s just kind of sore…”

The flush in his cheeks got a little deeper, Kokichi embarrassed to be talking about his sexual escapades even with his boyfriend. “I was...worried that Kai-chan didn’t like me anymore. And...it’s really sweet on his part--he just didn’t want to pressure me after we got back, you know? I do appreciate that he’s trying to be thoughtful like that…”

“...but we got a little excited. He fucked me against one of the walls in the office--and we super cleaned afterwards, don’t worry--and...it got kinda intense.” Kokichi went quiet for a moment, squishing his warm cheeks into a pillow. “...did he get to give you his apology gift?”

Shuichi listened to all this quietly, sorta...concerned. He could understand getting over-excited, but...this was the second time now Shuichi had found himself worried about Kokichi after one of his and Kaito’s nights together. A hand print around his neck, now a shit-ton of bruising on his back. Not Kaito’s little bite marks either. Kokichi’s back just straight up looked like it had been beaten…

Shuichi sighed. “Yeah. It was fine. I think he thought I was more upset then I actually was.” Rubbing the ointment lightly over Kokichi’s bruises, he took more out of the jar before going again. “I think I made a mistake, sleeping with him in the shrine. He keeps trying to goad me over to it now. It’s fine that he’s horny, I don’t mind him asking, but once I tell him no, I kinda want that to be it, you know? Just...back off. I wish everyone would just back off when I ask them too…”

The Luminary Detective did kind of think it was a shame he had missed out on some office sexy-times though. He...he missed…

...right...he had already been filled. 

Was filled.

...it couldn’t be true, right? It couldn’t…

….he had stopped feeling horny after that night. Like, literally the next day, he had felt so much...better. Clearer. And Dr. Kimura kept saying that the pollen was sending him into heat. Prepping his body for a child...and the heat had stopped after finally, finally being filled…

And now morning nausea and a truly frustrating amount of weight gain and...breasts that...leaked sometimes…

...Monokuma had said he was supposed to be pollinated. That he was hoping it’d be one of the Princes’...had said Shuichi was going to feel better once he was filled. Had taken him to the brewery specifically to make him ‘better’.

And after Kokichi and Kaito had done that? ...he had. He had felt immediately better. So much better. 

Pollinated. 

...he’s ruined his life…

Rubbing gently against the bruises, Shuichi asked Kokichi. “...what if Kaito had been a woman? I know you’re gay, but...hypothetically? What would have happened if you had, I don’t know...would it be important to the Ouma family to still not get him pregnant? Would you have taken precautions?”

Kokichi raised an eyebrow to himself. Kaito and Shuuichi had slept in the shrine? ...that would explain why Kaito kept asking if Shuuichi wanted to go pray. He’d thought Kaito was just excited to share his religion with someone else who believed, even to whatever the extent was that Shuuichi believed, but...well. Sex and religion. Kaito in a very simplified nutshell. 

And Kaito did know how to take a no, so… Kokichi closed his eyes tight, trying not to remember. Someone asking to see his art, that disappointment of being nothing more than a conquest to someone, an apology…

Kokichi’s breath hitched slightly, but he forced himself to even it out. And...Shuuichi’s question was something else to think about. 

“Well...I think I would’ve taken precautions just because I wouldn’t want to get a girl Kai-chan pregnant without us being ready for a child, you know? I’m going to try for Timothy but...I dunno. I still just feel like a big kid sometimes. I don’t think I’d be a very good dad...and it wouldn’t be fair to a kid to do that. Let alone to the other parent.”

“But...in the terms for my family?” Kokichi looked over his shoulder curiously. “...I get the feeling you’re not just asking how Aiichi would feel about being a grandpa. Our succession isn’t familial-based, right? Even if I had a biological child or adopted one, unless I declared that they were going to be the next heir, it wouldn’t really matter on a large scale. They’d just be my kid. No one else’s business.”

Shuichi nodded at that. Okay...okay...so...his decision wouldn’t literally start riots. That was...a comfort…

...god, Atua, if you’re there, please let it be an Ouma…or...maybe he should never know...

“It’d be different down in Luminary.” Shuichi said quietly, now focusing on some smaller bruises not part of the mass on his lower back. Handmarks, it looked like. Nothing bad, just, well, he had the ointment anyway. Why not?

“If you were a little lady Kokichi, and Kaito got you pregnant? It’d change the whole...hierarchy. Everyone would be affected. I...I don’t think Kaede would be next in line for the throne anymore. Because Kaito’s children still get inheritance rights, even though Kaito gave up his claim. Still…” Shuichi’s hands stilled for a second...terror filling him, “...still part of Atua’s chosen...Kaito’s children...it would affect the Momota’s families relationship with the noble classes, with the wealthy. Change rebel groups focus. Suddenly there’s this...infant. Next in line for the throne. It...if something happened to King Byakuya? Suddenly what happens to th...to your baby would just affect...everything. Whoever has the baby essentially would have the throne and the future of Luminary politics in their hands...we were…”

Shuichi suddenly laughed. A small, barking startled sound. “We were constantly talking about that to Kaito, before we got here. Me, Maki, Kaede. God, he’s such a fucking horndog. Always has been. Thankfully he really did understand how important it was to not get anyone pregnant, but fuck...there was so many chances. For him to mess up and just...ruin some poor girl's life. Maki’s life. I was so scared for Maki while they were dating...if anyone important had found out? If anything had happened? I think Byakuya suspected, but...it’s amazing to me he didn’t have her killed, even just on the off chance something could have…”

...Shuichi sighed, taking his hands away. “Sorry. I don’t know...where all that came from. It was just on my mind. It’s...it’s too big. All of that. Too big.”

...the medicine hadn’t stopped his heat.

Being pregnant had stopped his heat.

...when he terminated the pregnancy...would he…

...oh god he’s ruined his life…

Kokichi looked over his shoulder at Shuuichi, not...totally understanding what it was all about, but understanding the terror in Shuuichi’s voice. He sighed softly, reaching back to pet at Shuuichi’s leg. “...I really don’t understand...well, traditional monarchies in general, I guess. It sounds stupid as all hell to me, but...that doesn’t change that Luminary really thinks that way, huh. And I don’t think anyone would think different if I sent a letter.”

He snorted, frustrated with the state of Luminary. Just...the vast gap in power. And without being able to organize, the people who could change things from the top down...weren’t interested in doing so. They didn’t want to be leaders. They just wanted to have power over others, not taking any of the responsibility of what that meant. 

It was sickening. 

Figuring Shuuichi was done, Kokichi rolled to his side, tugging down his shirt before sitting himself up, shyly taking Shuuichi’s hand again, not caring about the ointment still on it, just rubbing it gently. “...Byakuya can’t touch you here, if you were worried about that. I wish he couldn’t touch Kai-chan but...it’s too much to stop his mail, because Kai-chan would never consent to it.” He huffed in frustration. “And, unfortunately, I’ll still have to deal with trade agreements and travel and work visas and immigration and all that stuff from him, but I’m just kind of hoping it’ll be so mired in political speech that I can pretend it wasn’t him that wrote them.”

“But you?” Kokichi rubbed Shuuichi’s knuckles gently. “Shuu-chan is my beloved boyfriend and a Dicean citizen. Even if Byakuya decided to be a control freak over his brother’s love life, which is none of his goddamned business, apart from the fact that he’s still married to me? There’s nothing he can do to you. And if he tried, I wouldn’t let him. And...honestly, even before it got to me, there are others he’d have to get through too. So he can just go thumb his ass and cry on his pile of coin that no one loves him.”

Kokichi growled softly before he had to take a breath, his head spinning a little from the fever.

Shuichi considered him quietly for a second...before laughing. Ignoring his strong desire to cry as he leaned in and kissed him on his burning forehead. “It’s so funny to me how fiery you get when you talk about Byakuya. Maki really did a number on you, huh?”

“I don’t know what I’m worried about,” Shuichi lied, running his hands through Kokichi’s hair, trying to cool his head a little by shifting the hair around. “I just...I wanted to…”

He just wanted to explore his worst case scenarios. He just really, really wanted to think about how completely, honestly fucked he was right now.

Kokichi wasn’t ready to be a father...good? Good. But Kaito...Kaito was literally adopting a kid right now. Or, unofficially, anyway. And the whole reason it was unofficial was literally because of everything Shuichi just mentioned. Timothy’s life would suddenly become chaos, if he was the next heir to the Luminary throne. People would hunt him down, either to kill him or persuade him to their favor. There’s no way he’d be allowed to grow up in Dicea, not without him being claimed as an heir to the Dicea throne. That’d be the only way to save one of Kaito’s children. If they were already claimed for a different position of leadership, they automatically gave up Luminary’s. You could be in line for the Ouma family, or for the Luminary family, but not both.

Kaito knew that, so even despite being the one who pushed to make Timothy’s familiar place in his and Maki’s lives official, he still couldn’t officially claim him like she was about too. It would do more damage to him then help him. 

Shuichi’s kid?

Oh god his what!?...the thing inside of him? Would have to be...disowned. Kaito officially refusing to claim it, if anyone guessed what happened in the first place. A bastard. His ki...the thing inside of him would have to be born a bastard, to not get caught up in the hellfire that was the race to the Luminary throne. Everyone would be a potential enemy to it. Even...even Kaede. Shuichi wasn’t naive. Kaito having a child and publicly claiming it? Kaede would be third in line for the throne again and…

...Maki wouldn’t hurt Shuichi. He trusted that. She wouldn’t hurt him or his...but Kaede might ask her too. And that would devastate him, to know she did that. It would hurt so much…

...he couldn’t have this baby. He couldn’t. And...Kaito couldn’t know. He was so emotional. So quick to fall in love, to claim things, to want to protect and guide people he just kinda liked into the best version of their lives.How could Shuichi tell him that he...he might...that there might be a…

Kaito couldn’t know.

And...and besides all that. If Shuichi wasn’t pregnant anymore?

...oh god please no  he took it all back he couldn’t handle doing it all again he knew he couldn’t handle doing it all again he can’t he can’t it was maddening…

“...I don’t want to go crazy again, Kokichi...it was so bad...everything was so bad…”

Kokichi embraced Shuuichi’s kind kisses and touches, though he sighed. “It’s not just from what she told me about him. It’s what he did to Kai-chan and...he’s a colossal dickhead, and even if he was just fired up… If he acts anything like how he did in his letter to me, he’s really not suited to lead. I’ve spent my whole life trying to live up to the trust people put in me as the heir, and seeing people abuse that kind of trust and power...it really pisses me off.”

Leaning against Shuuichi’s shoulder a little, Kokichi huffed, closing his eyes. “...he scares me too. ...he called my marriage to Kai-chan, Kai-chan being sold to the Dicean government. He thinks so lowly of Kai-chan...and Kai-chan still adores him. I know he can’t help it but… He basically threatened that at any time he felt like it, he would write Kai-chan and tell him to come back to Luminary. And...I think Kai-chan would do it. And if it was “his decision” to go...then there’s nothing I could do.”

...and part of him wondered if Kaito wouldn’t be relieved at the opportunity to leave. 

Kokichi let out a deep breath, trying not to let his breath hitch, trying not to think about his husband leaving him, but...that wasn’t the only fear in the room. Kokichi blinked his eyes open, looking over at Shuuichi in concern and slight alarm before he put an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders, hugging him as close as his weakened body would let him. 

“Hey...you’re okay. You’re not going to go crazy again. Seiko said you’re almost completely free of the spores, you know that. She’s working all the time on the medicine, you won’t go crazy again. No one else will either...it’s over now…”

Shuichi didn’t know if he trusted that. Now that he knew, or at least strongly suspected, that the medicine hadn’t restored his sanity as much as he originally thought it had...no one knew what this was. No one knew what to expect from it. The only person who, upon reflection, had seemed to know anything at all about it was…

…

He played with that idea in his head a little, but also considered Kokichi’s concerns about Byakuya. Kaito probably would go, if Byakuya called him back, but… “I think Kaito’s happier here. He was happy back in Luminary, but...honestly, Kokichi? I don’t know why Kaito’s fighting Dicea’s lack of fighting this hard. He wasn’t…”

“...Kaito’s kind of had an up and down relationship, with violence, his whole life. He really, really struggled with his temper as a kid. It would be strange. He’d be wonderful for weeks on end, like, just...so nice and playful and complimentary. And then something would happen and he’d be throwing things. Hitting walls. Screaming like he was dying. He’d only calm down after having a closed door conversation with Tengan, which, you can imagine probably wasn’t anything good. And the only way to avoid being taken to Tengen was to go get sanctuary in the temple, so Kaito would have these fits and, to avoid the head secretary, he’d run to the temple and have his fits there. And it could last...a while. He’d sometimes refuse to leave the temple for literally weeks...but then he’d come out and just be himself again. It was bizarre.”

“But, that was just when he was a kid. He got better, as he got older. The rage-outs happened less often, and then eventually kinda just not at all. By the time we were at the end of high school, it never happened. The only time he’d fight anyone was if they attacked one of his friends first, and even then, he didn’t...like it. Kaito doesn’t like killing people. He and Maki used to argue about it all the time. She’d get so mad at him for holding back in real fights like they were sparring sessions, trying to knock his opponents out rather than kill them. It almost got him seriously hurt a dozen times...but he wasn’t trying to kill anyone.”

“And now he’s here and...he talks like he agreed with Maki the whole time? It’s so weird. I thought maybe it was just because he was feeling protective of you, specifically, but...I don’t know. His anger at Lake in particular is weird. From the story he told me, she barely did anything. But he still sounds like he wants to rip her head off sometimes. It’s so...not like him.”

“....Kokichi, it kinda bothers me that Kaito’s been so rough with you during sex. Are you sure you’re not...are you really okay with it? I mean, if that’s just how you two sleep together, that’s fine. But...again, he’s not really acting like himself lately. I think we’re seeing one of the early stages of him about to lock himself in his shrine soon. I just don’t want you to accidentally get hurt before that happens.”

In a way, it was a comfort to Shuichi to focus on this, instead of the thing inside of him. He knew what decision he had to make about it, but...he wasn’t looking forward to it. And he had to convince Seiko to keep it a secret if he went through with it. Kaito would be devastated...it was potentially a chosen child of Atua...he’d be devastated…

Kokichi curled up at Shuuichi’s side, just...confused. Feeling helpless in the face of Kaito’s anger and...alienation? Just general displeasure? He didn’t know what it was, and he didn’t know what was causing it so...how were you supposed to fix a problem you couldn’t define? He just wanted Kaito to be happy...but he didn’t know what would do that. 

“I don’t know what to do…” Kokichi quietly confessed. “I’m hoping therapy will help but...if he just needs to rage and decompress for a while? That’s still an option, even if his shrine here is smaller… He can still...do that? As long as he’s not hurting anyone, I would never want to talk him out of a coping method that works. And…”

He played with his fingers a bit, embarrassed to be talking about this. “...like...the wall...and when he choked me that one time...I like that. It doesn’t bother me after, even if it leaves marks. And...the other stuff…” Kokichi’s voice dropped to a bare murmur. “...he promised to be better. I believe him.”

Ah, yes. The vague…’other stuff’. 

This was such a mess. Everything was such a mess...should Shuichi tell Kokichi? What had happened? Would Kokichi want to know?

...no. If Shuichi could help it, he didn’t want anyone to know about this. He didn’t know how he’d keep the secret if Seiko insisted, but...he didn’t really want anyone to know about what was happening to him. And, once he did it? He couldn’t..he had to make certain this wouldn’t happen again. And…

...but if the medicine wasn’t working? Had never worked? He’d be desperate for it again once his body...right? Wouldn’t that be what happened? If he didn’t have a child, his body would demand it again. He’d be desperate to be filled again. He’d beg Kaito and Kokichi to do it again.

...maybe there was no fixing this…

He wished he was still with Nao. She wouldn’t have gotten him pregnant...hell, ha, if she accidently had somehow? She’d probably punch him in the stomach herself. He wouldn’t have to choose himself. He wouldn’t have to think about any of this. She’d have just made the decision for him…

...Monokuma had known what all this was...Seiko was just an incompetent freak guessing...Monokuma had talked like had known exactly what was going on with Shuichi…

“I wish I had your faith in people.” Shuichi said honestly, putting his arm around Kokichi and holding him closer. “Or...really faith in anything. Kaito’s belief in Atua’s goodness always made me envious. Just to one hundred percent believe that there’s some...powerful thing out there that loves us? Forgives us for anything? And then there’s you, who...kinda just does that...it’s a little dwarfing, sometimes, being around a mentality like that. The world just looks so...flawed to me. Like it can’t get better. No cosmic justice and no micro-justice...it’s so hard to find hope in all this.”

Kokichi took comfort in Shuuichi’s arm around him, snuggling against his side. It was the little things like that that helped him in that mentality, actually. “I get what you mean… And that kinda sends me on my spirals, when I can’t get out of thinking like that. Usually my brain gets really mean and takes it a step further, that not only things can’t get better, but by being around I’m actually making things worse…”

He sighed softly, not feeling himself spiral right now but...intimately familiar with what it did feel like. “The world is very flawed. If it wasn’t, there would be no need for leaders. There would be no need for anything, really… No passion. No individuality. But that doesn’t mean that we should just embrace every flaw.”

“...I know it’s really cruel and...kind of the basis of a lot of religions but...the thought that everything is great after you die has always seemed...really lazy to me. It takes the responsibility out of your own hands, allows for cruelties to exist just because you think that, if not someone else taking care of it, then it’ll all be fixed in the afterlife, right?” Kokichi’s mouth scrunched to the side, knowing he would never tell Kaito this. 

“...but just because something might be fixed later, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. That this pain is meaningless. As depressing as it is to say...nothing is erased. It just builds. That pain becomes part of who you are.”

“...so that’s why it’s so important to build a lot of happy, peaceful things. It won’t cancel out, but...it’ll give you things to focus on. Precious things that make all the pain worth it just to get to them. Like you.” Kokichi looked over at Shuuichi with a soft, sweet smile. “And Kai-chan. For this love I feel, the pain that happened on the way was worth it.”

“That’s why complacency is...like, it’s not a taboo here or anything, but it’s looked down upon. Don’t wait for someone else to solve your problems, don’t wait for time to wash it away. Take steps to make your world brighter. You’re going to need help, so learn how to reach out.”

Kokichi paused for a moment, taking a breath and wiping some of his sweat away. “...it’s really flattering that you think that way of me but...it’s not really correct. I just believe that people can change. But they have to do something about it. We give people chance after chance to choose to change, because...where do you draw the line, then? If you say no to one person, then why are you saying yes to anyone? It’s extreme, and there are people we’ve said no to, but...that’s only after they prove without a shadow of a doubt that they refuse to change. That they are determined to make things worse, and nothing will change their mind.”

“...still, I do wonder if at any point there was something someone could’ve done…”

Shuichi shrugged, “Probably. People are a sum of their environment and hormones, I’ve found. Most peoples motives usually went back to some…” Shuichi frowned, thinking about it, “Deficiency in their lives. He killed his friend because he found himself envious of his confidence to be himself. She killed him because she wanted a more luxurious lifestyle. The victim died because someone else mattered to the killer more and their deaths benefited them in some way...that was the most common one, the last one.” People killing for some either real or imaginary benefit of someone else.” 

“I guess for a lot of people, or, maybe I guess for anyone who grew up in the environment I did, where we established where the ‘line’ was? It was...just whoever matters to us. And if you’re lucky, you matter to the person right in front of you. And if you hurt someone who you don’t matter to, and no one who does can save you...you throw yourself into a submission bow and hope you can use the last potential action of your life is to get yourself to matter to them. Last minute endearment, pity, amusement, attraction...just whatever convinces them to spare you.”

“I don’t know if I believe in all that myself, but...I used it to my advantage a lot. I got accused a lot growing up of making friends with Kaito on purpose, just to never have to…” Shuichi sighed, shrugging. “Just to always have someone who can protect me. They’re not wrong. Not about me setting it up on purpose, but...it really did make everything a lot easier. Especially with Maki too. Anything Kaito couldn’t take care of, Maki made disappear. It made things very easy.”

Kokichi sighed softly, feeling...very tired. “...I’m glad you’re alright but...I don’t think I could handle living in a place like that. I talked to Kai-chan about this once and...he really believes in that. To a point, everyone matters to me, so...that line just doesn’t exist. ...Kai-chan looked at me like I was some sort of freak. A freak he admired, but still.”

“...it doesn’t feel that outlandish to me. Caring about someone simply because they are alive all the same.”

Groaning Kokichi tucked his face against Shuuichi’s arm, a full-body shiver going through him. “Even if it’s strange...at least it means you guys are protected. Society will protect you...our laws will protect you...I’ll protect you. Even if I mess up a lot...I’ll always be trying. Until the end of my life, I will always be working for people’s smiles...and Shuu-chan’s smile in particular means a lot to me.”

Shuichi stared at Kokichi for awhile...before drawing him into a hug.

He didn’t know what to say. He...he didn’t know what to say…

“...thanks, Kokichi.” Shuichi said. Thinking of the thing inside of him. “I’ll try to protect you too...you matter to me. A lot. And...yeah…”

Shuichi kissed the top of his head, before resting his head against him. “...I love you...and you look miserable right now. I hope Kaito and Maki come back soon so you can go back to sleep soon...you can rest now if you want. I won’t leave.”

“I love you too…” Slowly, more because of the achy weakness in his body than anything intentional, Kokichi wrapped his arms around Shuuichi and returned the hug, thankful to the man beside him for being in his life. For how horrible Luminary was, there were some pretty wonderful things to come out of it. Wonderful, lovely people who he truly loved. 

Smiling a little at the kiss, Kokichi closed his eyes but shook his head a bit. “I’ll be okay for a while. I believe Shuu-chan...but I want to enjoy keeping him company. It’s selfish on my part, you know? For as much as I want to look out for you...I want you around me too. Being able to hug Shuuichi...talking with him about philosophy or lingual pedantics...watching the way a sunset casts pretty shadows from his eyelashes...listening to him grumble about bureaucratic inconsistencies…”

Kokichi yawned quietly. “It’s...my selfish indulgence…”

“I just don’t understand how hard it is to keep your files up to date. The year is on the bottom! If you’re working with a file that’s two years behind, you are working on the wrong file!”

Shuichi stayed up with Kokichi for awhile, until finally Kaito and Maki did eventually come back, Cali’s training worked out with them (though, Kaito didn’t mention the, uh...point of Cali’s training, from Cali’s perspective). Her mother had seemed...quiet and distant, but her father had been friendly and sheepish and seemed almost embarrassed that his daughter was butting into their training, and Kaito had assured him that he was adoring seeing Timothy playing with a girl his age so much and was happy to encourage it any way he could. 

Then her mother had looked at the Luminary Prince confused and concern and asked, “So...is Timothy also a prince of Luminary?” and Kaito had laughed really loudly and nervously and said, no, NO, PLEASE don’t go around saying things like that, and Maki had stepped in quickly that she was the mother and Kaito was his ‘father-figure’ and it had all gotten a bit confusing for awhile there…

But, the end result was decent enough. Cali was allowed to come by in the mornings for training, but needed her parents permission to come hang out at the castle in the afternoons. And...Kaito couldn’t help but notice at no point did the parents offer to let Timothy come to their house, but, well...maybe that was just because they assumed the kids would always want to hang out in the castle. Fair enough.

Look, so long as they never did anything to make Timothy uncomfortable? It was fine if her parents….her mother...didn’t quite approve of the friendship. She wasn’t stopping them, and she wasn’t being notably unkind to any of them. Just...distant and suspicious. That was fine. 

Then on their way back, Kaito told Maki about the latest panic attack, and Maki had sighed and promised to try to talk to Shuichi about it, and after dinner she did…try, anyway. She took Shuichi back to their room and sat down in the bed with him and promised him she wouldn’t tell anyone if he wanted it to be a secret. Swore she’d take care of whoever he was being harmed in some way by someone. Asked him to confide in her...and…

He just...didn’t. 

And after awhile he had begged her to just let him go to sleep, and not wanting to stress him out any more then necessary, Maki had conceded, promising herself to try again tomorrow. Or ask Seiko about it. She didn’t mind pushing into where she wasn’t wanted. She just didn’t want to send Shuichi into another panic attack, was all. 

Before bed herself, she worked on the wall some more. Looked over her blueprints. Finetuning her plan...she knew someone had looked at it, but still didn’t know who. Kaito and Timothy weren’t high on the potential list anymore. But someone did…

And Kirumi did her tasks for the day, and started working on her own plans as well.

-

Kokichi did end up falling back asleep, but, really!! It was after Kaito and Maki returned! So he did keep his promise. He woke up briefly for dinner, took more fever reducer, and slept through the night. And when he woke up the next day, he did feel a little better. Less achy, less feverish, but...he should probably still stay in their room, just to keep him from exposing any other people to the tailend of his illness, as well as not exposing himself to something else while he was still weakened. 

It was a familiar cycle. 

However, there was something new that the day held. 

There was a cursory knock on the door before it opened, Aiichi looking...drained, but still as powerful and welcoming as he always did. “Ko, do you have a minute?”

Maki looked the king up and down, though otherwise her face was neutral as she held the door open for him. Kaito had taken Shuichi down to Seiko’s today, and had asked Maki to take a break from Lake’s training for noon to watch Kokichi till they came back. 

She didn’t really have an...opinion on the king. Not really. She barely knew him, and had what could have maybe counted as one half-conversation with him once, when the King had stopped by to check on her and Shuichi at one point, when the secretaries were ‘questioning’ them. She hadn’t been particularly impressed. 

Still. He was royalty, so...she bowed her head slightly and opened the door wider for him. “Good Afternoon, your grace.”

“Good afternoon, Maki,” Aiichi greeted with a slight smile. And maybe he had learned a thing or two in the past month and a half, because he didn’t even think about asking her to leave. She was involved too and...it might help Kokichi to have a friend around. 

Nodding to his father, Kokichi sat up a little more, having...a feeling what this was about. “...how’s the trial going?”

Aiichi hung his hands in his pockets and sighed, a bitter smile on his face. “...we’re taking a recess. I wanted to ask you about...well, what we’re thinking for Tom’s outcome. So far...he’s being charged with the murder of the four you reported, corroboration with a terrorist group, and production and distribution of illegal substances but…”

The leader sighed. “...we have reason to believe he was involved in the disappearances of ten people spanning back...some almost ten years ago. We’ve reopened the investigation. From the information we have, Tom Black, also known as Tomo Sand, is a serial killer of opportunity. He doesn’t deny his involvement in the case at the coast but...he seems more concerned about the other two. Asking to take the same punishment as his friends, Aba Gnome and Itch White, also known as Ichiro Sand.”

“Or, more specifically, he’s insisting that Aba was coerced into everything--and from her blood samples while she’s in recovery, she is on the spores from Despair Poppies, so that tracks--and he wants to take the same punishment as his brother. Likely to stay with him.”

Aiichi continued with an apologetic look to the horror on Kokichi’s face. “Normally, isolation therapy would be the logical outcome but...he doesn’t seem to have any direction for himself. I would trust the evaluation of a psychologist but...I am not sure how much we can do for him…”

…

….

Where was the...danger…

Maki listened quietly to all of this. At some point, she started silently pulling at her hair. One hand over the other. Think hard. Fast. 

Danger...where was the danger…

“You’re grace?” Maki said, suddenly bowing low from her corner. Her face blank. “I apologize for interrupting...you referenced a Tomo Sand? Why? Where did that name come from?”

Aiichi looked over to Maki in surprise before a curiously considering look came over his face, more energy than he’d had so far. “...you recognize it? We don’t exactly broadcast that sort of information, for reasons you likely know better than I, but considering they’re going through federal trials right now...anyone who knows to ask for their names would be able to find their documentation.”

“Which we had to do some digging to find,” Aiichi sighed. “They got fake ids under the names Tom Black and Itch White, and while that was easy enough to see that those people didn’t exist, finding who they actually were?” Aiichi ran a hand through his hair, a small show of his stress over the whole situation. “Luckily, Hideki has his steel trap of a mind. He thought they looked familiar, and found the citizenship papers for Tomo and Ichiro Sand. Everything lines up for them.”

With that same curious look at Maki, Aiichi continued. “...they’re Luminary refugees. Did you know them?”

...slowly, Maki let go of her hair.

And, very carefully, she put her hand down to her skirt, crossing them over each other carefully. It was a move Kirumi did all the time. Something extremely polite and...deliberate, in the movement. 

“...perhaps. But if I did, your timeline presented doesn’t make much sense.” Maki said simply, staring at the king blankly. “Deaths ten years back? Did they tell you that?”

The curious look only deepened, Aiichi only intrigued further by what Maki was proposing. “Yes and no. They came to Dicea at the age of twelve, and we suspect they killed their foster father. Considering they’re twenty-one now...nine isn’t that egregious a number to round to ten in the terms of conversation, is it?”

Kokichi squirmed a little, even his fever flushed cheeks paling. He hated when Aiichi got like this… He knew Aiichi would never play with people’s lives like a toy, but...sometimes he just sounded like he would, and Kokichi’s stomach never cared to make the difference in how the fear and discomfort squirmed around in it.

Maki nodded. “Not at all, your grace. But, in my experience, orphanages make it a point to never give two of their charges the same name twice. There can be other Tomo’s and other ‘Sands’, but for purposes of contracts and accountability, they would make it a point to never have another Tomo Sand. So, it’s extremely unlikely that a Luminary Refugee with the name Tomo Sand would be 21 years old, when the boy I was familiar with when he left Luminary was just shy of twelve years of age, and that was…”

Maki closed her eyes, doing the mental math. “...almost six years ago.”

Opening her eyes, Maki bowed her head again. “So, by my math, they would be sixteen years of age, and the murders Tomo is confessing to would have had to happen, at..six? I suppose. Which would be a little young, even for a Luminary Assassin.”

Looking at the king blanky, Maki asked, “Your grace? What is likely to happen to Tomo and Ichiro?”

Aiichi’s eyes narrowed, not unkindly, but...confused. Tomo Sand was definitely the name on the papers. And Hideki was certain that they were the same people, not to mention that Tom recognized the name when they brought it up. He could always be a good actor...though there hadn’t been any other evidence of that...the boy had been practically catatonic until the trial started…

Broken from his thoughts, Aiichi looked over to Maki and...well, this he did know more. “...as I said, isolation therapy. The murders they committed weren’t because of passion or self defense. It was because it was convenient. With that sort of disregard for life, for the breach of the social contract, they cannot be trusted to live freely in society. They would only endanger others. By living separately from society and undergoing intensive therapy to at least understand why they should not endanger others, the hope is that they can one day return to greater society and live peacefully. It depends on them, mostly.”

And because he could tell she’d ask anyway, he continued, “And if they resist it at every turn? If they insist on endangering everyone in their path? ...then we would start considering executions…”

Kokichi flinched, his fears said aloud. But then Aiichi did something odd. Holding out his fingers as if counting something out. There was a pause, then he did it again. Then...he looked back up at Maki with an increasingly tired look.

“Ah. Well. We’d need to sign them back into the orphanage program first, if no one wants to claim guardianship that they’ll agree to. Then we’d need to confer a plan of rehabilitation with the possible guardian but...the process is much the same. Though we wouldn’t even think of discussing execution until they turn twenty.”

Maki felt the knives in her skirt. Their familiar, comforting weight…

...this was going to upset...some people...she couldn’t even bring herself to look at Kokichi. Kaito was going to be….furious….

…

...she had promised to save them.

All of them that she could

Maki bowed low, down from the waist, her hair falling over her face as she said, “I’ll be claiming guardianship over them. I am their older sister, Maki Harukawa. Please, if you could, I need guidance on how to start the paperwork. The secretaries handled my claim to Timothy before they left, and I don’t know how to start the process on my own.”

She raised herself again, hands still crossed over her skirt, face stoney. Refusing to look at Kokichi.

It was...too much to process at once. Itch and Tom were sixteen?!? Had...murdered fourteen people of their own volition? Were drinking? Hosted orgies? OhnohadsexwithAba--was Aba a paedophile now???? Even if she didn’t know...she was, right? They...they wanted to kill Kaito...wanted to kidnap Shuuichi...did kidnap Kokichi...tortured him...tortured Aba...might’ve killed him...were fine killing her…

Frightened tears filling his eyes, Kokichi started shaking, more than just shivers from his fever, his breaths becoming more labored. 

Aiichi looked taken aback but… “Maki, you can, but...taking responsibility over three minors is a huge undertaking. Let alone two who are federal criminals. Are you sure?”

His attention was diverted as he heard Kokichi’s breaths start to become audible, and Aiichi rushed to his son’s side, hurriedly laying him down. “Ko? Ko, breathe, it’s okay, you’re safe. Even with guardianship, they are not allowed out of holding, you’re safe.”

Maki considered the kings concern, but..not very seriously, honestly. She’d have taken all of them, if she could. They were hers. The only thing keeping her from claiming all of her siblings was just...access.

And now she had two more.

Oh, sure...they might not want her by the time she was done with them…

But she had them now.

Maki looked Kokichi over, concerned as he started having a fit. She had known this might hurt him but...maybe she should have had this conversation somewhere else. He would have found out eventually, but not as suddenly. Maki had just been afraid to wait. Didn’t want Tomo taken out of her reach after the trial was over.

Going to his side, the other side from the king, she put her hand in his, and said, “Squeeze if you need a healer.”

Kokichi closed his eyes and tried to breathe, some tears slipping free but...he didn’t squeeze Maki’s hand. And after several moments, his breathing started to steady. His expression still pained and his face far too pale and frightened trembles going through his body but...he was steady.

Smoothing Kokichi’s hair, Aiichi looked back up at Maki with a concerned expression. “If you’re serious about this...then you’ll need to come to the trial, Maki. We’ll talk about what Tomo and Ichiro’s situation will be. I’m going to send for Ikuo--will you be ready to go by then?”

“As soon as Kokichi is secure, I can leave immediately.” Maki responded, leaving her hand in Kokichi’s for a moment. Waiting for any turn in his disposition. “Thank you for your assistance, your grace. I can understand this is difficult circumstance. But...I’m not requesting a lessoning of punishments. Or to try to claim they didn’t do anything wrong.” She said, looking over at Kokichi intently. This message in no way for the king.

“I’m just claiming responsibility for them.” she said. Something sad in her face as she said quietly. “They’re two of mine.”

Aiichi matched the bodyguard’s smile, the weariness of shouldering a nation’s worth of people and all their mistakes showing for a moment. “I may understand more than you would ever wish to relate to me, Maki. They are yours, but they are ours as well, and...we just want them to flourish. Getting the boys the help they need is part and parcel to the punishment of their deeds. The goal is to get them to the point where they can take part in society happily and healthily. And...I think you’re going to be able to actually get through to them.”

Kokichi knew all that. He agreed with it, even. 

But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t terrified of Itch and Tom. That they wouldn’t haunt his nightmares for years. 

But he had practice with that. It was what he went through with each person that had tried to kill him, though Itch and Tom were by far the cruellest about it. They would hurt him for a long time...but he’d get over it. And they would all grow. 

Hunkering down in his blankets, Kokichi looked away, his eyes still wet. “...Maki-chan? There’s a white box in the back right of the closet...could you get me the rabbit that’s in it?”

Maki nodded, taking her hand back and getting up as the king left. She went to fetch the rabbit from his box, giving it a look for a moment before returning to Kokichi’s side, handing it to him.

As she sat back at his side, waiting for Ikou, she thought of what to say...and decided to settle for, “I’m sorry.” 

Holding the rabbit close, Kokichi took a few more careful breaths, trying not to upset himself again. “...it’ll be okay. Eventually. I’m proud and happy for Maki-chan, somewhere.”

He was. But...those feelings weren’t ones he’d be able to tap into for a long time. 

Trembling a little...he didn’t think she would...but… “...I can’t see them. Not right now.”

“You won’t. You may never see them.” Maki said simply. Eye blank. Face distant. “They may not always be around to be seen...I haven't decided that yet.”

Clenching her fists, some of the real, honest….fury...in her features leaking out from the careful control she had before, she said, voice tight, “I’m taking responsibility for them...not responsibility for their happiness. Not for their success.  For them. The whole of it. For everything they did, and everything they will do in the future. If they’ll even have one.”

“They won’t have to prove themselves to Dicea. Or to Atua, in their trials. They’d be very lucky, if that was all they had to do...they’ll have to prove themselves to me.”

A blade appeared in her hands...twirling idly as her eyes narrowed. The heat of murder radiating off her as she said, voice stead-fast and clear.

“And I am not as forgiving.”

Kokichi sniffled quietly...then let out a shaky sigh. “...you’re not going to be allowed to kill them, and you’re not going to be allowed to torture them either. That’d be child abuse…”

“...but Maki-chan cares about them so...you’ll figure something out. And...one day I’ll be able to talk about it more. But for now…” Kokichi squeezed his eyes shut, desperately holding the rabbit to his chest. “...I hear her screams when I sleep…”

Maki gave Kokichi a mildly amused look at that. Child abuse? Maybe. It wasn’t like she was planning to kill them right away. They were going to have time. But...if they didn’t improve at the level she wanted them too? If they didn’t improve at all?

Maki was going to take care of it.

Her plans for the future got muted though, as she tried to face what was in front of her. Considering Kokichi for a moment, she sighed, before shifting further onto the bed and, above the covers, laying down beside him. Staring at the ceiling.

“...that sound?” She said, putting her hand on her stomach and closing her eyes. “...it’ll sound worse in your head than it did in real life, for awhile...your mind exaggerating it...but then, one day, it’ll get quieter. Distant. Far away. And all that will be left of it is this vague...memory of how you felt about it, rather than what it actually sounded like.”

“...I don’t know if that’s comforting. But that’s likely how it’ll be.” She explained. Staring at the white of the ceiling.

He nodded, understanding what she said but...for now, it was too painful. Aba was the only one he heard, but dreams didn’t care about that. He heard them all. His vision had gone blurry almost as soon as Tom had drawn blood, and he’d tried not to look at the bodies, but… When it wasn’t just sounds and smells, those were the dreams that made him wake up gasping, sobs in his throat. And it was selfish in the face of Kaito’s pain but...those nights, Kokichi was endlessly thankful for curling into his husband’s warmth, silently crying until he could reasonably get up. 

“...I used to have dreams about the others. ‘Bout Katsuki and Fuyuji and everyone… I know Kai-chan looks at me like I’m crazy for being okay with them now but...it took a long time. I was...so scared of them for so long… I knew they were hurting too but...after I could get them help, I always just...shut down. I know it gets better...but it still hurts.” He took a breath, hugging the rabbit. “It’s still scary…”

“...”

Maki suddenly chuckled. 

“Almost six years ago, I told a group of five children how to escape Luminary, and I did this believing there was no real way to escape Luminary. I did this many times, and all the children knew I didn’t believe my own advice, but they still asked me anyway. For this particular group? Two of them were brought back. One of them...I guess I still don’t know her fate. And two of them, I suppose, I went on to be death cultists.”

“One of the last conversations I had with them before they left...was complimenting Tomo on his emotional conditioning. Emotional conditioning is hard. It’s hard to master. It’s hard to not be scared. Or empathetic. Or filled with regret. It’s hard to not have nightmares, or the memories follow you. To not feel angry...it’s so hard to do that. I told him I wish I had mastered it as well as he had. How lucky I thought he was.”

“...and now he kills people for...convenience? Fun? Fourteen people without orders is unacceptable...fourteen people is unacceptable...but somehow, I don’t think he could have done it if he still heard peoples screams in his head when he went to bed. Exaggerated. Far away and distant. Smells and sounds..if that stuff doesn’t follow you? Doesn’t hurt you?...I don’t think that’s a good thing, anymore. I think that’s a part of ourselves that we need…”

Maki thought about this for a moment...before sighing. “So, I don’t know. Sucks to be human, I guess.”

Kokichi shuffled a little closer to her, though he didn’t make it far, too exhausted to fight against his covers much. “...the lows are always worth the highs. And guilt is a powerful force...it can drive people to be better, or it can destroy them.”

Maybe there was more to speak on that point, but...Kokichi didn’t have it in him. His hopes that Maki would be able to help Tom and Itch rehabilitate. How pain could inspire kindness. But he just...couldn’t get to the words right now. 

Instead, he just murmured, “...those weren’t the first dead bodies I’ve seen…”

And Kokichi was saved from even more words he couldn’t reach, because there was a knock at the door, a gruff voice announcing its owner’s arrival.

Maki looked curiously over at Kokichi. They weren’t? Hmmm…

But there wasn’t a lot of time to muse over that. Maki sighed as she sat up, going to the door to let Ikou in, nodding at him respectfully as she said, “Thank you for coming. He’s still sick from yesterday, and hasn’t had any medication in the last few hours, at least. He was on the verge of a potential crash about twenty minutes ago but pulled it together. He has not eaten lunch, but he’s on the verge of falling asleep now. Kaito will be back in likely another hour. Is there anything you need from me before I go?”

Ikuo glanced over to the lump in the bed with concern before giving Maki a nod. “‘ll get ‘im meds when he eats. Can ask for food later when he’s ready. Thanks, Maki. Good luck.” Aiichi hadn’t given him the details, but if Maki was going to the trial? A little luck wouldn’t hurt. Whether she needed it or the accused did, that was up for debate.

Ikuo came over to the bed, silently touched at the state the stuffed rabbit was in. Kokichi had mentioned he still had it, but...it looked like his son had put in a lot of care into keeping it in good shape. He was glad he still liked it. 

Once Maki left, Kokichi turned and sniffled quietly. “...Daddy?”

Ikuo sighed and took off his sandals, sitting on the bed to pull Kokichi into his lap, cradling the small man. “C’mere, Bunny. It’ll be alright.”

-

It was both very complicated, and incredibly simple. Complicated, in that once Maki had been introduced to the judge and explained that she was starting the process of claiming guardianship over the twins, a lot of people suddenly seemed to be moving. Talking to each other, discussing how this changed the timeline, the, wait, twins? What? Discussing wait, why do they need guardianship, they’re both twenty...oh? Really?...Really?

Well...shit.

Simple, in that she hadn’t actually been asked to do anything yet but wait.

Maki had been there for hours by the time a lawyer sat down with her and explained that Tomo had to give consent to the guardianship, and that he was asking to see her before he signed anything. 

Maki was then made to wait another forty minutes, but eventually a presence came over her, and Maki looked up to stare dispassionately at whichever latest lawyer or cleric or guardsman had decided to update her now and...oh. 

She stood up, bowing her head at Katsuki. “Hello...is it time?”

The guardswoman just nodded, that same strange, mildly amused, distant look on her face that was always there. That made Maki so uncomfortable...but there was a comfort in it being Katsuki, as she was led into a room, where Tom was sitting, who looked up at her, something...nervous in his eyes, but a sharp smile immediately on his features.

“...Recognize me now, sis?”

...the thing was? She did now. It was almost startling, how...obviously it was him, now that she knew. Those light blue eyes, that bright blond hair...how could she have missed it? But, well, the Tomo who had run hadn’t been a smiler. Had been sort of...empty. Just quietly following Itch, like a sad, broken dog. This smiling, manic creature in front of her? He was a killer. The boy that had left? Had run because everyone had known he wasn’t going to make it to be an assassin. That he was going to die in the training. That he just didn’t have it in him, like his siblings did.

How had...this happened?

...that was a future question. It didn't matter, right now, how it all happened. There’d be time for that. Or maybe there wouldn’t be. Like she had told Kokichi...she hadn’t decided yet.

Sitting down across the table from him, Maki sighed. “I do. Do you prefer Tomo, or Tom?”

The man...the boy gave her an amused smile. “Does it matter? I’m dead anyway, right? Are you asking what I want put on my gravestone? Will you make me one?”

“...they're not going to kill you.” Maki said, putting her hands on the table. Free and clear of weapons. “They’re talking a great deal about how if they do execute you, it won’t be for another three years, at least. And by then, your worthless survival instincts will inevitably sink in, and you’ll give them a reason to let you live. They aren’t going to kill you.”

Tom smiled at this...before shrugging. “Wasn’t worried about them doing it. I’m still dead though, aren’t I. Big sis?...I hear you’re trying to make yourself my mom. Should I still call you big sis? Or momma?”

“Call me Miss Harukawa.”

“Fine. Then call me Tom.” The blond shrugged, looking at his nails like he was losing interest in this conversation. “‘Miss’ Harukawa...so formal. You mad at me?”

Maki stared blankly at the boy. Who just snickered after a while. “Yeah. Of course you are. I went and scared that sweet little prince of yours. Made Prince Kaito all worried about him too. Tried to hurt the detective.”

“And killed fourteen people.” Maki reminded him.

Tom raised an eyebrow. “I was listing reasons you’d be mad at me...did I need to add that?”

“...” Maki interlocked her hands, sighing. “I heard you were basically in a coma, before yesterday, and that you snapped out of it on your own.”

This time the smile fell from Tom’s face, now looking away from her uncomfortably, crossing his arms over his chest. “...what can I say? I just...got over it.” he muttered.

“And they’re telling me that since you’ve woken up, all you’ll say is that you wish to share Itch’s punishment, and that Aba was a kidnapping victim.”

Tom shrugged again. Not looking at her.

“...Tom, you’re so deeply conditioned that you were literally catonic for over a week just based on Itch’s word. If you wanted, you could argue that you didn’t have control of yourself. You don’t have to share in Itch’s fa-”

“Are you being serious right now? You want me to abandon my twin?” Tom said, looking genuinely startled that Maki would even bring this up. Scowling at her, he said darkly, “Wow, you changed...Itch never made me do anything I wouldn’t have done if I had a choice anyway. If they’re gonna execute him in however many years? Then I wanna go too. If you’re gonna-” Tom glanced at the guard, before snickering, “-take him on a long trip or something? Then I’m coming too.”

Maki gave Tom a hard look...before sighing. Reaching out her hands. “Let me see your hands, Tomo.”

Tom’s mouth pressed together nervously, before muttering, “I said I prefer Tom,” but reached out, laying both hands out on the tables, which Maki took, one at a time, into her hands, looking them over.

As she ran her hands over his joints, checking where his calluses were, where his knicks and scars from his butterfly knife started and ended, she said calmly, “...he doesn’t have to die. Neither do you, Tom...I’m not just asking for guardianship to ensure you’ll be punished. I want...I never wanted this for you...you were supposed to leave Luminary for a better life. To escape things like this...and instead you just, what? Brought it with you?”

“Itch says we can’t escape us.” Tom said, watching her warily. “That wherever we go, there we are. He’s right. We only got worse. Ten’s just the people we go here, big sis. We started in Danganronpa. It was fun. I really discovered who I was there.” Tom said, smiling wide, that sharp, crazed edge to it, “It was great.”

Maki considered his joints...before saying, “You did frighten my friend. A lot. And you’re right. That frustrated me more than all the people you killed. So...did you want to frighten him? Was it your choice, to hurt that girl?”

“...I...I wanted to hurt the little prince. Just because I wouldn’t have hurt her doesn’t mean anything, sis…I’m still evil…”

Maki sat in silence for a moment..before nodding. “That’s a start, anyway. I’m going to help you, Tom. But you’re dangerous. Very dangerous. So...do you want me to help Itch?”

Tom stiffened, looking at her in concern. “...he doesn’t want to be helped.”

“I know. That’s why he’s in so much danger here. Do you want me to help him?”

“...yeah.” Tom muttered, looking half annoyed and half afraid, “Of course I do.”

“Because you’re a good brother?”

“...Yeah.”

Maki nodded. “Then you’re going to do two things for me. You’re going to accept my guardianship, and...are you ambidextrous?” 

Tom stared at her for a moment...before a wild smile split his face. Sharp on both edges. “No.”

On his right hand, she pointed to his middle joints. Running her fingers along the line of them, before ending at his thumb, pressing her finger lightly to his second joint. Then she did it again, to show him the pattern.

Then she said, “To here. Once they’re too here...then I’ll offer Itch my guardianship as well. Get it done soon. His trial comes up in a few weeks.”

Then Maki took his hands, and brought them both to her mouth, kissing one hand, then the next, and considered the left hand before saying, “These ones as well. Be a good brother, Tom. I’ll come see you again soon.”

Putting his hands down, Maki got up, and walked to Katsuki. “I’m ready to go. Will I be able to sign the papers before I leave?”

Katsuki had watched the exchange in silence, but that didn’t mean that she hadn’t listened. In part, because her job dictated that he had to make sure Maki wasn’t trying to gain guardianship to extort Tom. She didn’t think Maki would, but she was listening all the same. 

There was a change in Tom. Something...more full. More than mania and desperation. And he’d gotten that way “on his own.” 

...Kokichi had gotten ill the same afternoon Tom got up. 

He might be a terrible assassin, but he was really lucky to have the people around him. Maybe because of them, he could accept choices again one day. 

Katsuki stored the information away of murders in Danganronpa, that part of this conversation going to be passed on to Aiichi and...Katsuki gave Maki a look. It wasn’t much different from her usual face but…

...guards would stop Tom if they saw him trying to hurt himself. He’d have to get better about being stealthy. Katsuki wasn’t concerned with morals. And they had hurt Kokichi badly. 

Giving Maki a smile and a nod, Katsuki led the way to the door, going to open it for her. She couldn’t leave Tom alone, but this little bit she could do. “Affirmative. Mr. Ryouhei Sukuna should have the documents ready for your signature in the courtroom. Mr. Tom Black will sign them after.”

“Thank you, Katsuki. I’ll be back before the week is up, Tom.”  Maki called back, giving her new charge a look over her shoulder. 

Tom was sitting at the table, staring down at his hands...how was he going too…

Maki knew she had given him an extremely difficult task. But not an impossible one, and she genuinely believed it was for the best. It would be difficult to use knives with half the length of your fingers, but not impossible to live your life. In her mind, she was being kind. She could have ran her finger over his wrists. 

She didn’t doubt he would do it. If Luminary were anything, they were loyal to those they were sworn too. And Tom had sworn himself to Itch, in some unofficial way, a long time ago. For his brother? He’d do anything.

...she hoped it would hurt.

-

Hui giggled to herself as she stroked her clit, enjoying the heat and sparks traveling through her body. It never seemed to stop these days, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Her sugar daddy bought her a lot of toys, but she was looking forward to him coming home. They could fuck and she was looking forward to seeing what she could get him to buy her next. As long as she could keep pumping out little brats, he’d do anything to keep her happy. 

What an idiotic species~

Moaning unabashedly, Hui ran her free hand over her body, one that was once fit, used to picking apples and lifting baskets of ‘em on her shoulders. A face that once smiled with kindness and mirth as she washed them with her mother, satisfied with an honest day’s work. Hands that reluctantly grasped a weapon as she took up arms to defend her country…

Things were much better now. Chubby and soft, her calluses worn away, never having to work for anything again--perfect for a princess! A super sexy one that had those dumb Flora flocking to her in droves, marveling at her soft wide hips and huge tits. They’d grown two sizes when she’d first become a seedling, dumb and trying to resist this gift. And now they were full of nectar for feeding the children that those houseplants tripped over themselves for. 

Not to mention the other changes that the Flora loved~ Hui snickered to herself, stroking her long, thick clit, only disappointed that her sugar daddy didn’t want her fucking any male seedlings. With how her juices ran down the pseudo cock, she could definitely get some boys pregnant too. So dumb that seedlings weren’t allowed to fuck each other--they knew what felt best, more than those loser virgin Flora. 

At least they could be fun sometimes. Had enough to fill her plump, swollen cunt, always dripping and sensitive. Though considering boy seedlings outmatched them there too? Puh-lease, like the houseplants had any reason to exist. 

Hui perked up as she heard the front door open, moaning louder to let her sugar daddy know what she wanted. Now...how could she extort him next…

-

“-and that’s the time I accidentally ate chokeberries too! You’d think they’d put up a sign by now. Oh, do you think it’d be a good idea to put up little signs everywhere, like what they do in nurseries? It’d be educational, and you could even put who planted the plant there too! Ooo, I should tell ‘Zumi about this later!”

Lake chatted casually with her shadow. Or...to her, anyway. Maki wasn’t particularly chatty, but that was fine--they weren’t together to get to know each other or anything. And Lake was happy to fill the space while they were on patrol.

The shadowing had been going really well! Maki had seemed confused by some of the laws and practices in Dicea, but she was always willing to learn. And, really, that’s what mattered. It didn’t matter if you were scared or angry or whatever--people were counting on you to keep the peace, so you just had to ball those feelings and personal opinions up to de-escalate any situation.

Though a chunk of guardforce work could be getting balls down from roofs and giving directions to people. But if Mak-attack was going to be focused on Prince K’s safety, she wouldn’t really need to worry about that stuff.

Really, Lake’s favorite part of their time together was practical spars. Lake had learned quickly that Luminous spars mean drawing blood or causing sustained injury and...well, she could take it, but the average citizen? So instead of honing their skills in a more traditional way, they’d taken to sparring so that Maki could learn how to incapacitate without hurting her opponent. She was getting pretty good at it too! 

“Oh, hey, over here!” 

Lake motioned Maki to follow her, getting up on a retaining wall just out of the marketplace. “This spot is one of the best for getting a view of the whole marketplace. Sometimes you’ll see guards just standing here for a while--if any arguments or fights start to break out, you’ll be able to notice right away.”

“Also…” She bent her knees a little, pointing out along Maki’s sightline. “Think you’ll appreciate this a little more. With how the city’s built, you can see on the roofs all the way out into residential districts. If anyone’s trying to come at’cha from the high ground, if they’re not super careful, you’ll see ‘em coming from a mile away!”

Maki had felt herself tuning in and out of the chokeberry story, having realized about a half hour ago that it had been a mistake to mention her own experience with the things. Lake had a lot to say about it. Lake had a lot to say about everything. It was like she never ran out of things to say, every time the conversation, usually her conversations, lulling for even a moment, she’d look around, point out some random thing, and suddenly have plenty to talk about for the next hour about that one, specific thing. 

It was like listening to Kaito ramble about nothing, and just as worthwhile to always pay attention too...but, Maki was still listening for changes in her tone that suggested she was actually bringing something up that would count for later. So she blinked as her tone changed from mindless ramble to ‘information’ and she considered the rooftop viewpoint as it was being explained to her.

She could see what Lake meant. The way Dicea’s city was structured was very different from Luminary, but the more or less evenly heighted buildings did make it easy to keep an eye on things. Luminaries city buildings varied wildly in height, and it was pretty easy to find yourself suddenly blocked in from all sides on their rooftops, but Dicea? You could see for miles.

“Is that something you’ve ever encountered? Someone attacking you, or stalking you, by rooftop?” Maki asked. She found out quickly it was useful to get clarity on things like this. Sometimes Lake brought up hypotheticals to her that seemed to only be brought up because Lake suspected it was something Maki specifically would worry about, rather than something Dicea seemed to actually have a problem with. She appreciated the guardsman trying to think of her concerns ahead of time, but Maki was trying to get a realistic expectation of Dicea’s dangers, and Lake feeding into her expectations wasn’t always the most helpful way of getting that information. So, she kept asking.

“Not exactly,” Lake laughed sheepishly. “Sometimes kids will get up on the roofs, trying to be a little more independent, you know? It’s usually fine, but sometimes they need help getting down. Sometimes they think it’s fun to throw pebbles or bits of trash from the roofs, and that’s a little more of an issue. Usually it’s fine if you just remind them that someone could get hurt.”

“Oh...you do get the occasional stalker though…” Lake’s voice lowered, clear worry and disappointment in her voice. “Not targeting the guardforce, or even Aiichi or Kokichi but just...people. Usually they’ll be too nervous to have a good reason for being sneaky on the roofs. We can’t randomly detain people like that, but as long as they don’t leave, you can keep asking questions, and if they say something that would directly hurt someone? Then you can detain them. Usually they just need a new therapist.”

Lake thought for a moment before coming up with a more specific example. “Like...if you ask them what they’re doing, and they say they’re just hanging out? Ask why they’ve been moving from roof to roof--if you’ve seen them do that. If they say they’re looking for a friend, ask for the friend’s name and description and say you’ll help find them. If they’re sincere, they’ll generally accept the help. If not, they’ll try to make some excuse why you shouldn’t, and that’s where you can usually get them to admit that they’re doing something wrong. If nothing else, pointing out that surprising a friend by leaping down from the rooftop is more terrifying than fun.”

Maki nodded, “I suppose it’ll be easier to identify if someone is stalking Kokichi specifically then it would be for you all to identify just someone moving suspiciously. Seems to me it’d be more useful to watch them and let them follow through until they commit a more serious crime though. Something you can actually charge them with.”

Considering all the people down below her, wondering idly if she’d run across the kid that threw a brick at Kaito, she said, “Though, probably the best solution to an issue like that is to put the victim in a decent enough position to murder their stalker. Murder in the name of self defense only requires therapy here, right? Stalker is gone, victim is safe, and we don’t break our vows of de-escalation...so that would be the most useful way to go about it.”

“That’s one way to do it. Innocent until proven guilty and all that, though we do try to find the warning signs. It’s generally more helpful for everyone to help someone considering a crime before it happens--no crime, no one gets hurt, the person who needs help gets it.”

Lake laughed nervously, now not caught too off guard when Maki said stuff like that, but, sheesh. “If our job was just to protect the victim, sure. But the guardforce protects all Diceans. Depending on the situation, we’d confront the stalker, get them help, have them pay any restitution to the victim if needed, help the victim get a restraining order if they wanted it, and recommend trauma therapy too.”

Frowning slightly, Lake held a hand out, moving it idly as she spoke. “And...really? Letting it get to the point where the victim of stalking would become a murderer? If we knew about it, we’d be arrested on counts of negligence of duty and social abuse. Forcing a person into a situation where they feel like the only way they’ll be safe is to kill someone else? That’s suuuuuper abusive. Not to mention how the victim would have to live the rest of their lives knowing they killed someone. Like…”

Her voice lowered, something sad in it. “...I’m thankful to our veterans like everyone else. But not everyone can really recover from trauma like that. We had a seminar recently, you know? To look out for symptoms of PTSD, escort any veterans struggling with it to a safe place. Give out these fliers for a group counseling, er, group that’s started up.”

Lake paused before letting out an awkward little laugh, reaching up to tousle her hair. “Ah, sorry for the bummer talk. Again, I don’t think that’s something you really need to worry about with Prince K--just making sure he can take a step back from anyone freaking out, you know?” There was a slight wince on her face. “And, well...he’s not really one to express trauma outwards anyway.”

“Do you know Prince Kokichi well?” Maki asked curiously. She knew the guardsman had brought him flowers when he was ill, and she was friendly with him when she saw him, but...well, so was everyone else at the castle. Beyond Kaito’s irrational hatred of her, she didn’t really know what her social status in the castle was.

And, also, in Maki’s personal experience, Kokichi was a bundle of sometimes literally explosive anxiety so...it just seemed like a strange thing to say. 

Anyway, she wasn’t super worried about the stalker debate, and didn’t find the subject of PTSD all that, um, ‘bummery’. Shitty things happened to people, but none of those were her people, so she wasn’t exactly wringing her hands in worry for them. She had enough things to worry about, and hypothetical stalking victims unwilling or unable to protect themselves weren’t high on the list. The more she learned about what was expected of guards, the more certain she was she’d never do well in their field. She’d get too frustrated, and fuck, she didn’t need any more people to worry about, let alone every Dicean citizen.

Lake perked up at that subject, hopping down from the wall as they continued on their patrol. “Not as well as I’d like, but we did grow up together. I started living in the castle as a kid, not that long after he was born. I wasn’t...really allowed to play with him much when he was really little, and then I decided to join the guardforce when I was in my late teens, so I was being trained most of the time but...we did hang out a good chunk of the time.”

Lake smiled fondly as she reminisced about her little brother. “He can be a bundle of energy these days, but he got tired really quickly when he was a kid. So, to avoid him being sent to just lie in bed, I used to carry him around on my back and we’d go on ‘adventures’ together. Tried to sneak him out of the castle that way more than once and, ah, you can guess about how well that went.” With a snort, Lake shook her head.

“It makes me happy seeing just...how expressive he’s been since you guys came around.” Lake glanced to Maki with a soft, thankful look. “He’s not hiding in his room all the time, he has real smiles so much now… Sure, he can be a little shit, pulling pranks on people and cackling to himself but...it always seemed like those were a little performative. Little things he made himself do to just...feel okay for a little bit. But he seems genuinely happy with you guys.”

“I wish I could’ve been there for him more while we were growing up but...I’m happy people are here for him now.”

“Hm. Pranks.” Maki said, her tone clearly displeased as she watched the crowds, keeping an eye out. “I had to give Kaito an ear piercing just to keep myself from throttling his husband for the chokeberry incident. If Dicea’s done one thing for me, it’s showed me my creative side.” Maki mumbled. She had never had to work around so many ‘laws’ before in her life. In Luminary, violence wise, she could get away with almost anything, at any time, depending on who was in front of her. Now she had to, like...not stab people. And make people cut off their own fucking fingers. It was a nuisance.

“And Kokichi is...interesting.” Maki admitted, not feeling comfortable enough with Lake to admit she was starting to see Kokichi as a genuine friend to her, more than just a convenience or a responsibility tacked onto her best friend. “It’s weird. He and I...probably shouldn’t get along as well as we do. We’re nothing alike. But...it’s easy to talk to him, in a way. Though sometimes I worry that perhaps I’m not being careful enough with his stress-induced heart attacks. I haven't fully triggered one yet, but we’ve had some close calls.”

She shrugged slightly, admitting, “I just...can’t bring myself to hold back for him. Not the way Kaito and Shuichi try too. It’s maybe selfish but...I don’t want to be friends with someone who can’t handle the things I say. And...I think that he can, really.”

She thought of the incident yesterday, Kokichi struggling to breath, and sighed, “Maybe.”

Lake let out a chortle. “So that’s why Prince Kai got a piercing? I thought it was a spur of the moment fashion decision. He told me once that he doesn’t have much of a mind for fashion, but I dunno. If that’s true, then he gets really luck on what he picks out for clothes.”

It had been nice, her first conversation with Kaito. She still stood by her assessment of thinking he was a good guy but...one with more of a crazy temper than she’d thought. Weirdly protective of Kokichi in a way that reminded her of what she thought of Aiichi when he’d catch her trying to sneak Kokichi out of the castle. 

She wanted to get closer to the Luminaries, because they were important to Kokichi, but also just because they seemed like cool, interesting people. (Ones that...wouldn’t judge her for the blood on her hands, or look at her like a monster when she declared that she still didn’t regret it.) She wasn’t expecting to be fast friends but...hopefully just friendly. And maybe one day she could have a conversation like that with Kaito again.

Nodding a bit, Lake’s smile crinkled the scars over her eye a bit. “Sometimes the people you’re least like make the best friends, you know? Learning their perspective makes you a better person, having to reconsider your own. And you’ll just always have things to talk about.”

“And...sometimes it’s just context with Kokichi. The same information could leave him just fine or struggling for breath. Just...a more extreme version of most people, I think. Gotta have tact.” Lake nodded to her words before giving Maki a kind look. “...personally, I think he can take a lot more than people give him credit for. And he constantly does, even if you can’t see it.”

Looking out over the waves of people, Lake’s voice was clear. Resolved. “I wanted to become a guard so I could protect people. So no one would ever feel alone or cornered. And while I enjoy the work...it is work, having to care about the well-being of everyone you see. And when I get off shift, I’m done. Sure, I might help people out on a favor, but my time is mine. I get to be selfish when I’m not working.”

“...but Kokichi never stops being the heir. And it’s not just the people in the city he has to care about. It’s everyone in the country. Everyone who moves here. Every citizen that travels out of it. Caring about the land and its and our future…” Lake turned back to Maki. “Leading is a terrible burden. But Kokichi takes it all and still finds it in himself to be kind and play pranks and enjoy sweets… It’s a lot for a person to hold. I think people forget that.”

Maki considered Lake’s words. By and large, she agreed with them. She didn’t really understand what it took to lead a kingdom, but...no, no but really. She didn’t understand what it took. Her long look into the lives of the royal family made it all seem hopelessly complicated. The thing you could only simplify by doing a hard reset to the whole board. And with Dicea...her glimpse into their royal family world didn’t clarify the situation at all to her. She didn’t understand why the system in Dicea worked as well as it did, or why Luminaries had fallen apart so hard. There was probably a lot behind the scenes she just wasn’t privy too, but...as two heirs to compare to each other, Byakuya had been surrounded by teams of people, had worked to pull various dangerous, powerful social groups under his control, and still couldn’t seem to actually achieve much more then just establishing better trade routes with kingdoms Luminary wasn’t actively at war with. 

Kokichi wrote letters from his bedroom, and was clearly more universally beloved and accomplished in comparison. Again, it was likely due to systems already long put in place, but...Maki couldn’t understand how either Luminary or Dicea’s systems were meant to function, or why the results of how they actually functioned equaled into what they did. 

And...it frustrated her that she didn’t understand. Because she wanted to change Luminary. Was still ready to throw everything important to her in her life aside, to achieve that goal. Kaito could hate her. Timothy could grow up without her. Tom and Itch could be executed without her intervention. All of it would be worth it to fix Luminary…

She just...didn’t understand what had gone so wrong with it.

She just had to trust in Kaede. It was all she could do. She wasn’t smart enough to fix Luminary’s corruption and abuses, but her lack of ability didn’t take away her sheer drive  to do so. She just...had to trust someone better than herself, who was actually raised to understand the complicated political process that revolved around a functioning kingdom. Had to trust that Kaede wasn’t misleading her. Had to trust in her promises and her ability. Had to...trust that Maki’s sacrifice would be worth it...

...even if Shuichi was right. And she’d never get to see it herself.

What other choice did she have? But to trust...she couldn’t possibly understand it herself. She could barely understand the contracts she signed about her own life. Let alone everyone’s.

So she stared down at the city and said to Lake, “I’m certain Kokichi will do fine, as a leader. The people here seem to love him. I’ve heard two people call him the ‘Light of Dicea’ since I’ve been here. I’ll admit.” Maki smirked slightly, laughing lightly to herself, “I thought it was silly when I first heard it. But...now that I’ve gotten to know him better, I can see why people feel that way.”

Maki sighed, finally just sitting down next to Lake, not having seen any sign of trouble yet and starting to suspect she wouldn’t. “ It’s not fair that it was him.” Maki admitted. Not thinking anything of it to say, “King Aiichi, if I understand the history correct...probably shouldn’t have ever declared him leader. Physically, he’s not suited for it at all. It should have never been his responsibility in the first place. But-” Maki sighed, shrugging, “It’s done now. And Kokichi seems to be making the best of it. Hopefully I can, for as long as I’m here, make it a little easier on him to take care of himself. That’s all I’m hoping to achieve in this position...and if learning how to de-escalate problems instead of disposing of them convinces people to let me do that?” Maki shrugged, “I guess it’s worth learning.”

Lake laughed, full of pride for her little brother. “What a title, right? But, yeah, it fits. I don’t understand what drives our leaders to pick the next heir. But it seems to work out--we haven’t had to drive a leader out of their position in...I dunno, a long-ass time? Not that great with dates, and history was never my strong suit.”

“And I don’t know about not being physically suited for it. If he wasn’t the heir, Prince K talked about joining a circus. As an acrobat. I don’t think he’d ever be satisfied with a life that wasn’t pushing him to his limits. And...of all people to look to as our future leader? Someone with Kokichi’s kindness and ability to put all of himself into problem solving...he’s damn high on my list, at least.”

Grinning at Maki, Lake bumped their shoulders together, friendly-like. “And, hey, if he can lead with less collapses? If he can trust duties to other people? You guys have already changed him a lot, so I think you’re already doing a good job, Mak-attack. Not that I’d think you’d put less than 110% into anything!”

‘Sure, Kaito.’ Maki thought to herself, having to resist actually rolling her eyes, ‘He’s basically batman, right? Honestly...it’s a good thing Kaito hates her. Having these two on loop with each other would be infuriating.’

“Hmmm.” She said, glancing down at her watch, a little cutesy kitten bracelet with little pink gems that she always felt like was staring up at her mockingly. “Shouldn’t we be moving on to the next patrol stop soon? The guards there are gonna move on without us if we’re late. Oh, and, are you the one meant to stop by Seiko’s place today, or did I misread the board back in the office? I’ve been wanting to get a read on that situation ever since I heard about it, but Dr. Kimura won’t accept my help for some reason. Considering how important she is to quite a few people in my life right now, I’d like to see for myself that she’s being taken care of.”

“Ah, probably,” Lake laughed. “Again, not too useful to you, but we tend to idle a little longer around the marketplace. It’s where the most fights break out, so if someone’s a little late on patrol, that’s usually where they’ll be.”

Stretching, Lake led the way to the next route path, each step in rotation burned into her mind. “And yeah! I’m sure Dr. Kimura will be happy to see you, even if we’re not there for a social call. Or...if she leaves her pharmacy at all. She works such long hours it’s insane! But I guess that’s a healer for ya--dedicated to health.”

Letting her mouth run, Lake had just been about to mention that Dr. Kimura was probably worried about Maki coming around because of the...yeah. 

Nooooot something she should just blab about. Not even everyone on the guardforce knew!

When they’d get their citizenship papers, ensuring their safety in the country and giving Dicea jurisdiction to come after them if Luminary tried to get at them, refugees were given an option to have patrol paths come near their homes. Some of them blanched at the offer, and Lake guessed that they thought they were going to be monitored but...it was kind of the opposite. It was to have someone nearby if a refugee felt threatened by Luminary and, even if the refugee kept it a tight secret, to be on the lookout for hate crimes in the area. Snide comments weren’t really something they could do anything about but...grafiti? Getting word that people who hadn’t done anything were being refused from businesses? Broken windows? That was something the guardforce could take care of.

And Lake in particular had recommended Dr. Kimura to refugees when they needed medical attention. The doctor was discreet, and at the top of her field. They would be safe with her. 

So...naturally, they’d want to keep her safe too. And if Dr. Kimura wanted to help conceal their old identities? Then having a Luminary who wasn’t a refugee around wouldn’t be something she’d want. 

So, instead, Lake just laughed loudly and told a story about how she had to escort some medical students home late at night once, the group stressed out of their minds over finals.

-

Hina was watching Dr. Kimura’s house today, until she’d be relieved this afternoon at 4pm. The group of refugees weren’t sure how much longer they were going to keep this schedule up. The issue being that no one had seen any signs of any further attacks in ages...but neither had anyone seen any sign of the original culprits actually being stopped. Sure, they weren’t attacking now, but...everyone was watching now. What happened when they stopped keeping watch? What if the next molotov cocktail actually managed to land?

The group was….well, honestly? They were too paranoid to let it go. So they kept up the watch, even though Dr. Kimura herself asked them to relax, worried they were unduly stressing themselves out, and the guardforce reassured them over and over that they were keeping watch.  The group (well, most of them) trusted the guardforce in Dicea, but…

...it would have been immoral to leave her. So long as the culprits were still out there? Not keeping watch was the equivalent of saying they didn’t care what happened to her. It was...just unacceptable.

So Hina sat her watch, sipping on her coffee, her eyes lighting up in delight as Sakura made another of her classic, near famous (well, okay, just famous in their friend group) gutbusting jokes as Hina giggled around her straw, looking at Sakura with open adoration across the street from Dr. Kiruma’s house as she said, “That’s so true though! I mean, I wouldn’t have thought to put it in words like that, but, well...I guess that’s why I hang out with you, huh?” Hina giggled, giving her girlfriend a wink.

Sakura smiled slightly at this, giving her smaller girlfriend a look of calm affection as she asked, “Is that the reason, now? And here I thought you were dating me for my looks. I certainly catch you staring enough…”

Hina giggled more furiously at that, her face lighting up red, her eyes having just drifted down to Sakura’s muscles just as she was saying that. Feeling appropriately called out, Hina went back to looking at the doc’s house, ignoring her girlfriend’s small chuckle at that, as Hina sucked hard on her straw...before saying, “You know, I know you open the pub late to sit with me like this, and you’re training at the dojo less often...it’s okay, you know? To let me do this by myself. I know you don’t know Dr. Kimura...she just-”

“She helped you when you needed it.” Sakura interrupted, sipping her own smaller black coffee a bit, not needing as much caffeine as her girlfriend did, “Why would I not want to help her when she needs it now? It’s the neighborly thing to do anyway...and, it’s hardly a burden.” Sakura said, reaching out to gently take Hina’s hand in her own, squeezing it lightly, “I get to spend that time with you. It’s an indulgence more than anything...I want to be here, Hina.”

Hina, for the thousandth time, thought of the ring in her pocket. She just...she really wanted to make it a special moment, when she asked, but also...she really wanted to ask her. To see her wear it. She wanted it so badly...she fought with herself, every day, to just not bow in the middle of the street, offering her the ring. Just...wanted to see Sakura’s face light up…

Maybe she should just do it? Just...get it over with. Just finally ask! The wedding can be the big, happy moment! And, honestly, literally any time she asked would be a happy moment. She just...she loved her so mu-

“-MAKI. MISS HARUKAWA. COMING OVER TO PATROL AROUND SEIKO's PHARMACY. THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING! GOING ON PATROL WITH GOOD OL’ MAKI HARUKAWA!”

“...why are you shouting? Are you having a stroke?”

Hina froze. Eyes wide. 

She had two, immediate reactions. She couldn’t help either of them. The first reaction was she grabbed Sakura’s arm, and immediately pulled them both into an alley nearby, that gave them a view of Dr. Kimura’s house, but made them more difficult to see by any passerbys. Sakura was surprised and confused, but Hina...did things like this sometimes. And the martial-artist had learned it was easier to follow along with it while it was happening and then try to work out what had frightened the Luminary later. So she followed her into the alley and ducked down and…

“...Hina…” Sakura said, her gravely tone full of concern as she reached out gently to wipe at her girlfriend’s cheek. “...you are crying…”

Hina hiccuped, nodding her head, trying to smile at Sakura to ease her worry, but sobbing harder as she tucked her knees against her chest, staring at the figure down the road. That long hair. Those red eyes. That purposeful, graceful way of walking. She was...so much smaller than Hina remembered. Was she always that small? That young? She was only three years older than Hina, but she had seemed so...big to Hina as a child. So much older then she was...Hina could only look at her for a moment before hiding her face in her knees. Sobbing harder.

Sakura looked at the figure in the distance, before putting a large hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles into her shoulders as she said, “...if you are afraid of her, she cannot do anything to you, Hina. I will protect you. Dicea will protect you.”

Hina hiccupped, sniffling through her runny nose. Nodding her head as she smiled weakly at Sakura. Before saying, “I...I’m so silly...I got scared so badly...I just...wh-what if sh-she…it’s been so long...what if she-”

“Hurts you?” Sakura guessed. When she had first met Hina, that was usually what she had worried about. What if they hurt me? You? Us? You have to be constantly vigilant. You can’t let your guard down. They want to hurt us…”I told you, I would never let-”

Hina suddenly laughed. Looking...ashamed of herself as she said, “No. No...or, maybe? She was...I haven't seen her in almost a decade...what if…”

Hina’s face scrunched up, miserable fear wrinkling her face as she threw her head in her hands, sobbing. “Wh-what if my sister is different? What if they changed her!? What if…” Hina gave another pitiful, frightened, self-hating sob, knowing she was being ridiculous but the fear so real “...what if she doesn’t love m-me anymore?”

Sakura stared at her, baffled. Of all of Hina’s fears of Luminary, and everything about Luminary...this was a new one. Wait...”Sister? This woman is your sister?” Sakura asked, watching the back of the distant figure, who seemed to be looking over the house with the guardsman Lake. “I, uh...don’t see the resemblance.” Sakura admitted, looking down at the clearly darker skin of her girlfriend.

Hina snorted, rolling her eyes. “Like...my orphanage...your siblings were whoever you went to the orphanage with. But, Maki was different...she was a big sister. A...someone who...people don’t come back to their orphanages once they’re out. It’s not a thing. But Maki? She was always coming back. Checking on us. Taking care of us. Whenever she could. A big sister...the older kids never came back...but she did and...I knew she was...no, that’s not true.” Hina sighed, wiping the tears from her face, calming down a little, “I suspected she was here. A royal assassin came with Prince Kaito? Beautiful with scary eyes? Who else could it have been...but I was still...scared maybe it wasn’t her? And that maybe it was some other assassin, sent to use this opportunity to catch escaped indentures? That’s why we’ve all been...some of us know Prince Kaito, Sakura. Big sis was always bringing him around and...but we’ve been scared to go see him because...wh-what if it’s a trap and…”

Hina sighed. Her heart calming down a little. Feeling better to finally talk this out with her girlfriend, having been...kinda afraid to talk about it before now. “..it still could be. Big sis...Maki could be different now. It’s been a long time since a lot of us, the other refugees who come from my orphanage in particular...it’s been a long time since we’ve seen her. She...she could have been through a second set of conditioning by now or...Luminary could have just broken her. Made her...the kind of person who would report found escaped Indentureds...I don’t know. None of us know. So...we all agreed to stay away from the castle. If she sees one of us, she’ll know there are more out there...she might…”

Hina opened her eyes. Sore from crying, but laughing lightly to herself. Feeling...lost and bitter as she said, “...I know Dicea will protect us. I know that, okay? I just...it’ll hurt if they have too. It’ll hurt a lot...I’m not ready to face that. Face her. Whatever she is now...you know? None of us are…”

Sakura listened to all of this quietly. It sounded...both terribly plausible and also entirely paranoid. Like most Luminary fears did. She personally thought it might be better to maybe ask the guard she was with, if this Maki person was the kind of person to try to bring in escaped Luminaries, but...that idea would frighten Hina. So she kept it to herself for now.

Though, as she held Hina close to herself, watching the two leave, staring at the woman with the pigtails…

...didn’t she...come to her pub sometimes?

Hmmm…

-

So, sure, he still had a fever (though it was much lower!), and he wasn’t the steadiest walking around, but he was good enough for sitting around, reading reports and writing some up. And the couch in the office was there for resting! If he needed a break, he could take one, and if it got to be too much, he’d stop. He’d left Shuuichi and Nadya hanging for too long already, c’mon Kaito!

So, after a bit of an argument, Kokichi was walking down the small connecting hallway between the wings, a purple facemask with a grid pattern made in black and white thread snugly covering his nose and mouth. Shuuichi had already been right next to him, but...it was just a precaution for everyone else!

Coming into the office, he smiled brightly at his employee. “G’morning, Nadya-chan!”

“Ah, Mr. Ouma, good morning. I am pleased to see that your health has begun to recover. If you would, please accept this gift as a show of my hopes for further recovery.” Nadya smiled warmly as she presented a box of tea, different from the one she’d gotten for Shuuichi. There wasn’t too much fuss to get started right away, so Kokichi talked with her for a little, thanking her for the kind gift and learning about the tea.

Kaito walked behind his two lovers, fretting uselessly over both of them. He hadn’t wanted either of them to do this today, and had been in the middle of explaining to Shuichi why he wanted him to skip work today when Kokichi, to Kaito’s utter bafflement, had gotten up from bed in the middle of the conversation, and started getting dressed himself. Still...sick! Kokichi! You are still, right at the very moment, sick, and Shuichi’s been staring blankly at walls since the day before yesterday, a-and!!

Shuichi, he might have been able to talk down, but both of them? Kaito had found himself arguing a losing battle quickly, and eventually had just decided he’d go with them, to at least keep an eye out for them. 

Shuichi, in turn, gave Nadya a little wave, before immediately heading to his desk, stretching his neck a little before immediately opening up a ledger and looking through it, ready to escape into work. As Shuichi got started, Kaito went over to him, whispering, “Look, if you feel yourself starting to get overwh-”

“I won’t.”

“Okay, fine, but if you do-”

“Leave me alone, Kaito.” Shuichi muttered, now just glowering at the ledger. Shuichi’s mood had been all over the place since the panic attack with Seiko, and Kaito was still no closer to learning what the issue was. He felt a spark of anger at Shuichi’s dismissal, but...Kaito took a breath, deciding to just leave him to it then. Now to go check on the other one.

Heading to Kokichi and Nadya, Kaito gave Nadya a sheepish grin as he said, “Good morning, Nadya! Um, I’m gonna be doing some social letters today, if we have any?”

“Good morning, Mr. Momota. You are in luck--there were several social letters I picked up from the post office this morning. Please allow me a moment to clear the kettle and accessories from your desk.” With a polite nod to both princes, Nadya left to go do just that, leaving the two relatively alone. 

Kokichi sent Kaito a fond look as he went to his own desk, sitting down in his chair and letting his legs swing from where they dangled above the ground. “I’m really okay, Kai-chan. If I start feeling like I’m not, I’ll stop, and you’ll be the first to know, I promise. I just wanna get back to work, you know? I missed the first day in the office--I wanna get used to it!”

He understood Kaito’s concerns, but he worked while sick all the time, and this wasn’t even one of his worse bouts. Just...instead of working from his bed, he was working at a desk. A nice one with a comfy chair and plenty of light coming through the window--it was just as nice and comforting as their room, but without the implications of being stuck in a bedroom. Just doing this...it made him feel productive. And he was starting to get a little bored anyway.

Taking one of Kaito’s hands, Kokichi gave it a squeeze, resisting the urge to kiss it through his mask. “Even if it’s just because you wanna be close by...I’m happy you’re working with us today.”

“Yeah, of course babe...just…” Kaito thought about making one last bid to convince Kokichi that maybe just one more day of rest would be fine but...could actually feel Aiichi in his shadows as he said, “Let me know if you need anything at all, okay? I can take a break from these letters and go and run and get food or medicine or whatever, kay? Just ask.”

Giving Kokichi a kiss on his forehead (hovering, Kaito, don’t hover), Kaito went to the fourth desk, helping Nadya move some of the tea stuff on it, but insisting it was fine to leave the mugs, he wasn’t using the drawers anyway, he finally sat down, taking a look around real quick to make certain neither of his lovers needed him...before starting to open his letters.

Okay, so...what do we have...ah. Mrs. Hanner. She was always writing in. She was very, very concerned with the youth today, but didn’t want anything actually...done about that concern. She just wanted to talk about it to someone. She was particularly concerned about her grand-daughter, who was going to too many parties. Hmm, well…

Kaito read the rest of the letter, thought about it, and started writing back. 

It’s great to hear from you again, Mrs. Hanner!

Well, getting into university is no small feat! But it’s also a lot of stress and work, and maybe Samantha is just blowing off steam? Parties are also a great way to gain connections, find people who’d be useful for certain school projects, study groups, that sort of thing? Samantha could be actually improving her grades through connections in her social life! 

Still, you’re her grandmother, so of course you’re gonna worry! But, well, your last letter you mentioned she was in an advanced program, so she’s clearly smart! And, maybe, it’s kind of a shitty thing to do to write to literal government officials that might be her co-workers or potential employers someday, telling them all about her party habits and your concern for her not working hard enough and maybe taking too many people home, and what if you’re sabotaging her future by spreading rumors about her, did you think about that at all?? Mrs. Hanner!? What’s it your business if she’s going to parties on her off time you nosy old-

...Kaito sighed. Folding up the letter so that Kokichi wouldn’t notice he was starting over (just in case. He didn’t want Kokichi to notice Kaito wasting time writing back to the same letter twice, was all), but pushing it aside and taking out another blank sheet. Okay...come on Kaito. Mrs. Hanner is just a nice old lady worried about her grandkid.

Kaito tried again. He wrote a generally positive response, saying he was sure Samantha was doing fine, and that she was lucky to have a grandmother who loved her so much and was so interested in her life. He read over it once and decided it was...better, anyway, and folded it up and put it into an envelope, addressing it to her, and put it to the left. 

Okay...next one.

First of all, Kokichi took a look at all the research Shuuichi had done for him while he’d been sick, neatly clipped together to the letter they pertained to. And...it was obvious when they’d been working in the bedroom together, but...holy shit this was so much faster. Having all the data he needed in front of him, Shuuichi pointing out the trends in them...literally all he had to do was use that information to devise a plan for the problem posed. 

He...really hoped Shuuichi would apply for a research position once he was done with rehab. There was a world of opportunity for him, of course, and...he didn’t want to stifle his friends by hiring them all around him...but Shuuichi was really good at this. And...he liked being around Shuuichi so much… He could talk to him when he opened the position. Just...give him a heads up to throw an application in. 

Kokichi sighed quietly to himself and threw himself into his work, catching up on the last few days. And he did! It was fine! 

...but he did start to feel a little dizzy the fourth letter in so… Kokichi got up, tottering his way to the couch and curled up against one of the arms, closing his eyes to rest his head for a moment.

Kaito looked up at Kokichi in concern, idly writing back to his sixth letter now, brow furrowing in concern. He glanced at Shuichi and Nadya, and neither of them...looked concerned. Was he hovering? Kokichi just needed to sit for a bit. He was probably fine, right? Someone else would say something if he wasn’t. Just leave him along. Stop hovering-

Kaito got up, heading to the couch, sitting down next to Kokichi as he said quietly, “Hey, babe...you good? Do you need anything?”

Kokichi peeked over at Kaito, giving him a soft look. “I’m okay...just got a little dizzy. I’ll probably rest here for a little bit, then get back to it. Or go back to bed. One of the two.” With a little laugh, he curled up a little more, resting his head more. 

“Mm...if you really wouldn’t mind...could you get me a glass of water? I think it might help.”

“Yeah, babe. Um, I could make a trip to the dining hall, if anyone else wants anything? Shuichi, Nadya?” 

“Coffee.” Shuichi muttered, reading something that was clearly annoying him...before his brow furrowed. 

Was coffee good for babies?

...it didn’t matter. He was gonna terminate it anyway.

...but, like, he didn’t want to torture it before it went...or, would it not matter at all? Does coffee affect a baby while it's in the womb? Was it even a baby yet? Was there anything to effect? Fuck, he had no idea how this worked.

“...actually, orange juice.” Shuichi muttered. Annoyed with himself.

“Orange juice? Got it! Nadya?”

“If you would not mind bringing up another water, I would appreciate that, Mr. Momota.” Nadya looked up from her work, giving Kaito a kind smile. Despite what they returned to, her conversation with the prince had been nice. He asked about baseball, she asked if there were sports he had enjoyed in Luminary, and apparently Miss Harukawa was a big soccer fan. It wasn’t very deep, but it was nice to have conversations like that.

“Love you, hun,” Kokichi murmured, opening his eyes to give Kaito another soft look.

-

So...Waku knew that Kokichi’s office was over here. But! But! People had talked about seeing Kaito all over the castle while his husband was working! And Kokichi was sick anyway! So she was safe!

Smart decisions, yes!

Still, she tried to pay attention to the corners of her eyes as she wiped down the windowsills. 

Okay, so, two waters, an orange juice...maybe he should come up with some medicine just in case? Just to give Kokichi the option? But, it would make him sleepy...well, okay, but Kokichi knows it’ll make him sleepy. So, it’s still up to him if he wants to...or, maybe he should just bring them medicine up to the bedroom, and whenever he’s ready to go to bed…

...hovering. He was hovering. 

Kokichi’s never told him he was hovering. Had, in fact, made efforts in the past to assure Kaito he wasn’t. Kaito knew his fear of being the same controlling, uncomfortable warden in Kokichi’s life that all of his, ya know…’loved ones’...ugh, Kaito felt gross even thinking that...what a disgusting group of assholes...fucking selifhsh, two-faced-

Stop! Stop, what is happening!? 

Kaito swallowed the anger down. Okay, mindfullness...what are we feeling and why? We are feeling...frustrated? About...being surrounded by people we don’t like...and don’t trust. Are these feelings valid?

….no?

They...they felt valid...but everyone disagreed with him on that. Everyone. Even Maki felt some of his anger was misplaced, and if Maki was telling you to calm down, that you weren’t in danger, then maybe something was wrong if you still felt like you were.

Did he feel in danger?

...no?

He just felt...other, here. Wrong. Always the bad guy...but he couldn’t understand why he was the bad guy, because...he didn’t think he was wrong! He just...knew he was wrong because Kokichi kept telling him so...and Kokichi had to be right. And...so what was wrong with him that he just couldn’t see it!?

(He wished he could just get away from this for awhile. Just long enough to feel better. He was so tired of feeling bad all the time.)

Mindful. Mindful. Just...be aware of how you’re feeling, and control your reactions. You’re feeling alone and frustrated and helpless and angry. Fine. That was okay! Just be certain you don’t react that way! Okay, so, step one, go get your friends their drinks! And, step two...uh…

Ugh. He didn’t know…

...oh! It was the pink-haired girl! God, why did he always struggle with her name...Waki Waku! Okay, this was a chance to be better! Kokichi said she was another child-killer, and...Kaito was supposed to be cool with those now, he guessed. But, more importantly, she couldn’t help herself when she had done it or...something? Delusions or something? Whatever, the impression Kaito had gotten was ‘She was another would-be assassin but, like…barely. And, more importantly, Kaito still kind of owed her for scaring the shit out of her (ya know...like how she maybe had done to a small, heart-attack prone child), and she had been, Kaito was certain, being harassed by someone before.

So! This was Kaito’s chance to practice reaction! Help someone he...kind of hated? Sort of! Yeah!

Kaito was excited, but reminded himself this was a delicate matter, and pooled his expression into something serious as he called out to her, “Uh, excuse me? Miss? Waku? Could I talk to you a moment?”

You’re good. You’re good? You’re good! You’re safe here, Waku, no one was going to kill you. The castle is full of good people who will protect you. You don’t have to fight. Some of them went to war to protect you! Not you specifically, but you’re part of the many that they wanted to protect. You’re a part of something, not singled out. Not targeted by people who leered in the light and made decisions that others wouldn’t bat an eye at because you’re nothing and no one will protect you so you have to protect yourself so they don’t rip you limb from limb and tear out your guts and--

“Eep!!” Waku jumped, whipping around at the voice behind her, eyes wide and heart pounding. You got lost in your thoughts again, Waku, don’t do that! Especially when there were mon--

Waku swallowed, looking up at Kaito. Just...his heart singing a song of anger. Of bloodlust. Of loneliness and frustration, a creature that rips and bites, not wanting to heal its wounds, but only to cause more. 

Don’t attack him. You’re safe here. Kokichi said that he was being scrambled. But...it didn’t sound that way anymore. 

Slowly starting to back up, she silently nodded, trying to think about where other people would be right now.

Kaito threw on his best ‘Luminary Prince of the Stars’ grin, coming up to this…

...wow she was ugly…

…(stop it)  this smaller person, squaring his shoulders and trying to come across as stead-fast and reassuring as he said, “Hello! Sorry, I know we haven't spoken since I apologized to you about the, uh...the incident before. Again, I’m very sorry about all that. I know four gold isn’t a lot, but I hope you found some use for it...um, anyway. Look, I don’t think you saw me the other day, but...I spotted you running down the third floor east wing? I was...concerned.”

Kaito took a few careful steps towards her, sort of recognizing the...tension radiating off her…(god, he couldn’t get over how ugly she was. Why was everyone in this castle so fucking ugly?), he put his hands on his hips, trying to show off his strength to her, really prove he could actually help her as he said, “If someone was intimidating you? Or trying to...pressure you into anything? You don’t have to keep that to yourself. I can take care of it for you! Just point them out and I’ll-”

“You’ll what, Prince Kaito?” Kirumi asked, holding a duster as she turned the corner. Her face carefully neutral.

Waku backed up a little more, her eyes widening further as her fisted hands started to tremble. He was...finding out her schedule? Sure it was written down, but as far as she’d heard, Prince Kaito had never come into the housekeepers’ meeting room. W-was he stalking her??? Oh nonononono he was serious, he was going to finish her off, Kokichi’s reassurances be damned he was going to--

Waku glanced over to Miss Toujou, sort of relieved but...not totally. Miss Toujou had...a lot of disgust in her heart. Waku knew she didn’t think much of the other housekeepers but...it never manifested poorly. A little hurt feelings over the older woman going over tasks they’d already done (often needlessly, as no one could really see any difference to what she’d done) wasn’t a big deal. There was a danger to the woman, for sure, but...she was less dangerous than Prince Kaito. Miss Toujou was more likely to ignore them for her own goals than Kaito’s fiery hatred, burning everything around him.

Scrambling back away from the man, Waku hid behind Miss Toujou a little. “U-um, I was running away from you. I-I can ask for a reassignment! I won’t come on the third floor anymore. Please leave me alone!”

“You were running from Prince Kaito, Waku?” Kirumi asked, looking with some sympathy down at the smaller housekeeper, happy to act as a barrier between her and the prince. She felt especially suited for the task, as she turned back to look at the temperamental prince, raising a small eyebrow as she said, “Well, there you have it, your grace. Her assailant. Now, how were you going to take care of it?”

...Oh.

Any confidence he had managed to portray deflated immediately...oh. Okay. She had been...running from him. That explained...why he couldn’t find the other...huh…

...wow, he felt...stupid…

And too big. He was too big right now. Taking a few quick steps back, he hunched his shoulders down a little, trying to make himself a little less looming as he gave Kirumi a tired look. “I...I was just going to...talk to whoever she pointed out about it?”

“Were you?” Kirumi asked, disbelief clear in her voice, “Or were you about to go terrorize another member of the staff? Like you are apparently doing to young Waku here?”

“...I didn’t mean to-”

“Didn’t you? You seem perfectly content to use intimidation as a tactic, why should I think you hadn’t meant to use it on her? Prince Kaito,” Kirumi said, stepping forward a bit, mildly satisfied when Kaito took a step back, “I know that no one else here will just tell this to your face, because you refuse to spend time with anyone who isn’t your direct subordinate or your husband, and everyone else is too intimidated or polite to say anything...and normally I would keep this to myself in respect to my station, but not to the direct detriment of my coworkers...so I have to say, but your methods of problem solving are not helpful here. You’re making a nuisance of yourself in everything you do, and Waku here is a prime example of that. Whatever you thought you were going to do to help her? Wouldn’t have.”

Placing her hands carefully in front of her skirt, one hand over the other, Kirumi looked at the man with no pity as she said, “You just make everything worse. Do you understand?”

Kaito stared at her, wide eyed and shocked...something sick and nervous and, for a moment, sad rolling around inside of him…

...before his eyes narrowed. Clenching his fists, his blood sparking hot as he said, “How dare you talk to me like that. What the fuck gives you the idea that you can speak to me in such a tone!? I’m the Dicean Prince-Consort-”

“And that means almost nothing here.” Kirumi said simply. Not at all intimidated. “And it’s pathetic that you think it would.”

Kaito started to see red...this fucking...this bitch...how dare she..how dare she...this fucking uppity peasant…

...and then Kaito glanced at Waku, at the open terror in her eyes...and felt his heart sink…

He couldn’t stay here. He was too pissed. He wanted to fucking kill her….he couldn’t stay here. He was going to hurt someone. 

Giving one last furious look to Kirumi, who was not bothered at all by it, Kaito turned around and left. Heading directly to his shrine.

Waku let out a small sigh of relief when Prince Kaito left, rubbing her forehead and adjusting her headband before she looked up to Miss Toujou. “Thank you, Miss Toujou…”

With another glance at where the furious prince had been, she gave the older woman a worried look. “...his heart is beating out a rhythm of murder… He wants to kill us all… Even Prince Kokichi...it’s confusing. He loves him, but he also wishes they never met. He loves Miss Harukawa, feels safe around her...but he’s also terrified of her. The only one he doesn’t really feel bad about is Mr. Saihara, but there’s so much guilt there too…”

“He feels so alone and alienated, even from the people closest to him…” Waku looked down, fisting at her poncho. “Normally...we help people like that, even if they want to kill us, but...he won’t let anyone close. I’m...scared… I don’t want to die…”

That was the crux of most her fear. She didn’t want to die so...kill her assailant first. She knew it wasn’t reasonable, that her brain wasn’t wired right and...therapy had helped. She had sobbed into Kokichi’s shoulder for hours that day as he comforted her that she wasn’t going to die, shh, no one will hurt you anymore, I’ll protect you...and his nanny had found a seven-year-old and a nine-year-old curled up together, faces streaked with tears but their hands clasped. She’d gotten better. But...Kaito didn’t seem like paranoia…

Shaking her head a little, she sent the older housekeeper a pleading look. “He’s already in therapy...what should we do?”

Kirumi looked sadly down at Waku, listening carefully. Everyone knew the girl had an amazing gift for observation, though she had an unfortunate habit of interpreting those observations in a somewhat...hysterical way. Again, no one was perfect, and Kirumi didn’t expect them to be, and for all the girl’s hysteria and ‘violent’ episodes...she had never actually harmed anyone, as far as the housekeeper had ever heard. Just a poor soul who tortured herself with her paranoia more than anything.

But, again, her observations, without that hysterical tint, usually proved to be accurate...and all of that was very interesting. He feared his assassin, and wished to escape his husband? And felt guilty about the detective...hm. Interesting.

Did he fear Miss Harukawa because of the plans on her wall? It was an entirely reasonable fear. The stupid girl was planning to murder literally forty+ people, from what Kirumi had managed to work out, and was risking the lives of hundreds, maybe thousands more with her actions, depending on if her actions restarted the war between Dicea and Luminary, or merely caused a civil war in Luminary. The plan was clear madness, and a sign to Kirumi that she needed to think harder on rehabilitating the assassin. She couldn’t be allowed to act on her own desires, but was too difficult to control in any meaningful way. Kirumi thought long and hard about going straight to Aiichi about what she had discovered, and allowing him to put a stop to it, but...Diceans were so...lenient. 

Which was a good thing, usually, Diceans so susceptible to social pressures, but the problem was, Maki...wasn’t. She wouldn’t care about her fellow man's disappointment in her, or concern for her actions. It wouldn’t stop her. She could just leave if she felt like her plans were about to be directly stopped, and no one would likely stop her. And she was just as much a danger to Dicea on her own as she was here. She might not represent Dicea intentionally when she went back, but Kirumi knew that likely wouldn’t matter much to Prince...to King Byakuya. An assassin he sent to Dicea returned and attempted to murder his entire court? It was an act of war, at worst, and a convenient excuse for pressure or extortion in future trade negotiations, at best.

She had to be dealt with, but Kirumi couldn’t risk dealing with her directly like she could Kaito. Kaito, she knew how to manipulate. Maki would be more challenging. And she still had to have some sort of...discussion, with Shuichi. The boy was too much of a coward to out her to anyone, but it still would be prudent for her to make an understanding between the two entirely...clear.

Sigh. What to do, what to do…

“Everything is alright, Waku.” Kirumi said, deciding to take care of this first, turning to the girl and, gently, taking her face in her hands, gently pulling her face up to look at her, “You are right, to be nervous of Prince Kaito, but wrong to fear you will die. Dicea will protect you, and so will I. The prince is easy enough to manage when you know how to do it. I will not let him harm you.”

Dropping her hands, she sighed, looking over to the direction he left in, as she said, “As for helping him...he’s a Luminary. I’m afraid their kind need to, well...be broken down first, before they can be rebuilt into something truly Dicean. Weakened. Humbled...that’s the only way to deal with someone like him. Take away his pride? And everything else should fall into place...but don’t you worry about that.” Kirumi said, smiling warmly down at the housekeeper. “And don’t worry about avoiding him or upsetting him. If he causes you any concern, don’t forget you should let people know. Myself, Prince Kokichi, any of the other staff...you are never alone, Waku, and you do not have to be. Even if all you need is a second person cleaning the west wing with you, or just knowing you have backup when Kaito is near...help is always available to you. Yes?”

Waku’s eyes widened a bit in alarm. Usually when she heard scary things in people’s hearts, others told her that it was nothing to worry about. That, yes, people might have thoughts of murder and harm, but they really wouldn’t do any of that, wouldn’t act on those thoughts, and she didn’t need to be afraid of things that, honestly, those people were afraid of themselves too. 

That was where Kaito was confusing. He was afraid of his anger, but not like how other people were. Not for the acts he might commit themselves, but for the very select people he might hurt. And even then, those thoughts were like a wave, sometimes not even caring about that. Just...wanting to destroy everything. 

Which was even scarier than just the anger. Haneda was scary. She had a heart full of anger and violence too. But...the end result of that anger was...she just wanted people to leave her alone. With no one around, there was no anger. Just...peace. The knowledge that people were out living their own lives somewhere else didn’t factor into the housekeeper’s heart at all; she just didn’t want people near her.

(Of course, there were caveats to that. Waku had been shocked to hear the love in Haneda’s heart when she talked to the little boy, Timothy. It was good, Waku had decided. The boy needed love.)

But Kaito? He didn’t just want people not near him. He wanted the whole world to burn to ashes...an evil inside him that made no sense when placed against the joy and pride in his heart. She didn’t understand it at all…

Taking a deep breath, trying to accept Miss Toujou’s words and believe her assurances (because she was right, and Waku could hear that she believed what she was saying) Waku nodded. “Okay… Okay. I...I’ll ask Mr. Hinata if I can double duty with someone. Thank you, Miss Toujou.”

“But…” The young woman’s mouth twisted to the side, something worried and concerned. “He doesn’t need to be Dicean, does he? He can be different. That’s what makes people interesting! Boss always says that we need new perspectives to make things the best they can be, so no one is ever left behind. I just…” Waku deflated a little. “...wish he didn’t want the world to burn.”